#life of Frøy

[northseas]

having a maine coon is so god their because you’ll have ppl over and suddenly they’ll whisper under their breath “god she she’s so huge” and you’ll know your cat has entered the room

[broomsick]

Devotional writing to Yngvi-Freyr the Season Changer

You are the One who paints landscapes with the colors of fall 

You are the One who lets winter put land and soil to sleep

You are the One who breathes life back into all things 

You are the One who rules over the fertile season

You are the One who turns the wheel

You are the One who gives blessings.

Lord of Wealth, you make the crops prosper.

Guardian of Peace, you bless with sustenance.

Rider of Skíðblaðnir, you guide our helm.

King among Kings, you lead with compassion.

Let us rejoice in the changing of seasons

Let us see and feel the gifts of the land

Let us reciprocate the blessing given

Let us make use of the seasons of Frøy.

Art

[graciellasamma]

My AU of Previously On

Sup guys! As you can see on the title this is pretty much of what my version of RvB Season 15 Episode 5 “Previously On” because that episode is my favorite in season 15 because of how funny it is on their story of their retirement. If you want to know about the AU I made, then I suggest to go look at my oc “Frøy Kurenai.”

I hope you guys like it!

Grif: (groaning) Lots of bullshit, I don’t know where to start.

Tucker: Before or after the temple? If it’s before, this is gonna get NSFW real quick.

Sister: Oh yea.

Horobi: Oh God...

Izu: “Temple?”

Tucker: Ho yeah! After we captured Hargrove, we partied fucking hard! See, Chorus has this ancient relic called the Temple of Procreation that when activated makes-

Wyoming, Simmons, & Grif: WE SAID WE WOULDN’T TALK ABOUT THAT!

They quickly look at each other and Grif and Simmons quickly look away, embarrassed. Wyoming just blushed in embarrassment.

Blake: Wait. It doesn’t due as the same implies right?

Sarge: Oh it does! It was all like a planet-wide aphrodisiac! Things got real Bohemian! (knowingly) Mm-hmm!

Tucker: Yeah, y’all keep saying that! But everything felt normal to me!

Sister: Ya, it was completely normal.

Washington: Surprising no one.

Weiss: Gross!

Yang & Urataros: I wish I was there!!

Weiss & Momotaros: DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, YANG/YOU PERVERTED TURTLE!!!

Ruby: Ugh, from you Yang, I’m not even surprised.

O’Mally: Hehe, let me ease up Papa Wolf’s concern over his pup’s virginity. Once the idiot with the sword over here activated the temple. Frøy got bored and decided to play Monster Hunter on his Nintendo while hearing music with his earphone.

Jiro: So he didn’t do anything... weird?

Doc: No not at all, we just doing our business while Frøy too distracted by his game and hearing music.

Jin: I don’t get it, what are they talk about??

Horobi & Aruto: We’ll talk about it when you’re older!!

Felix: Locus was already off of Chorus by the time the planet-wide party began.

Grif is still looking away from Simmons.

Simmons: Can we-can we change the subject?

Ramon: why are you guys so nervous?

Caboose: (To Ramon) Oh, they’re just upset because they got locked in storage closet during the whole thing and Reggie and Flowers were in-

Gamma: Yes, and of course they were.

Ikazuchi, Yang, Nora, Momotaros, & Vice: WHAT?! HAHAHAHA!!!

Wyoming: THE SUBJECT. CHANGE IT.

Frøy: Hold on, I thought you were the one who-

Wyoming: I SAID: CHANGE IT.

Washington: To actually answer your question, after the war on Chorus we decided we were due some time off.

York: We’ve earned some R&R. Even Carolina, Tex, and South agreed!

Tex: When did I ever agree to th-

South: It was for the best. Clearly. (Takes a glance at Carolina)

Carolina: I thought I’d give the simple life a day in court.

Gamma: Surprising. Everyone.

Grif: No more adventure? Hell yeah, I was on board!

Butch: We were all on board.

Simmons: Kimball set us up on this isolated moon, and she built us some of the most awesome new bases, ever!

Shot of the new Red and Blue bases, which look like luxury condos.

Tucker: Everyone adjusted to the peace and quite differently. Some of us were natural!

Grif: Don’t hate the player.

Theta: Sarge got hopelessly depressed after not dying heroically on Chorus!

Sarge: Hogwash! Baseless slander!

Simmons: But you said-

~*~*~

Cut to the Red Team, including Lopez, outside their new base. Sarge walks up.

Sarge (flashback): I am hopelessly depressed after not dying heroically on Chorus! We need a new enemy...

Hearing this, Red Team quickly scatter.

Sarge (flashback): ...something to fight. Where y’all going?

~*~*~

Back in the Bases, CT looks at Carolina.

CT: Sarge wasn’t the only one having a hard time adjusting to inaction.

Everyone looks at Carolina.

Carolina: What?!

Washington: Fortunately, we found a tutor.

~*~*~

Cut to Carolina and Grif in a small ravine, Grif sitting cross-legged on the ground and Carolina  standing up, looking at him as though he were a wise master. Or Yoda, maybe.

Carolina (flashback): (dead serious) Help me, Grif. Help me be the best at being lazy.

Grif (flashback): (wise and mysterious) You’re not ready, padawan.

Carolina (flashback): I can try!

Grif (flashback): No. There is no try.

Felix (flashback): (offscreen, yelled) YOU SAID THE LINE!!

~*~*~

Flowers: (narrator) The peaceful times didn’t last too long. Turns out this planet has some native lifeforms!

~*~*~

Loud thumping as Flowers, Frøy, North, Simmons, Tucker, and Grif run across the scene. We hear the sound of a dinosaur roaring.

Simmons (flashback): AHHHH, RUNNN!!!!

Grif (flashback): I CAN’T DIE AS FOOD! OHHH HOOO, THE IRONY!!!!!

North (flashback): HOW IS THAT IRONY?!?!

Frøy (flashback): HAHAHA!! I’M HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!!

~*~*~

Carolina: (narrator) While everyone debated if dying as food was technically ironic, Caboose went and made friends with the dinosaurs.

Hiromi: Why would he do that?

Grif: (narrator) Because of course he did.

~*~*~

Carolina, Flowers, North, Frøy, Tucker, Grif, Sarge, and their AIs are staring up in awe the camera, while we see the shadow of a dinosaur with a Caboose-sized figure on its head.

Caboose (flashback): (offscreen) Awww, who’s a good boy?! Awww, you are a good boy!

Felix (flashback): Holy shit!

Flowers (flashback): CABOOSE, get down from there!

Church (flashback): How the hell does he get up there without getting eaten?!

Frøy (flashback): Can I eat it?

Sarge (flashback): Tell him to fight me!

Theta (flashback): Ummm Sarge, you do know you are gonna lose that fight in a heartbeat, right?

~*~*~

Tex: And let’s not forgot, trivia night.

Everyone except Felix, Wash, Delta, Theta, Carolina, Caboose, and Donut groans at that.

Felix: Hey, you guys wanted to give me a party, and that’s what I got.

Tucker: Easy for you to say! You got all the answers right!!

Simmons: You gave us hard questions.

Felix: Are you serious? It was easy!

York: It was a trick question!!

Ryutaros: What’s trivia night?

Delta: They are like pub quiz, one of us has to ask the question that we made while the rest of us have to answer the question correctly.

Theta: We decide to make a theme on all the questions from his favorite movie series!

Tucker: Which is Star Wars by the way. (glaring at Felix)

~*~*~

Everyone gathers around for trivia night.

Grif (flashback): Anakin Skywalker.

Felix (flashback): (monotone, like church) No.

York (flashback): C-3PO.

Felix (flashback): (monotone) No. That’s a droid.

Sarge (flashback): Grif.

Felix (flashback): No. He’s not even a Star Wars character Sarge.

Sarge (flashback):............. You sure?

~*~*~

Felix: WHAT PART OF “THE MOST ANNOYING CHARACTER IN THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE” DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!

Sarge: It was a trick question!

Felix: Oh come on! I gave you plenty of hints! Even Caboose got it right!

Caboose: I nearly said Tarkin because he is mean.

Frøy & Church: Well not all of us is a Star Wars nerd like you, so sorry if we don’t know all the characters!!

Felix: Oh fuck you both!! (Giving them the middle finger)

Grif: (narrator) And then DONUT somehow managed to burn down our bases!

~*~*~

Donut standing in the foreground, while the bases burn in the background.

Donut (flashback): Whoopsy-daisy!

~*~*~

Grif: (narrator) Ah-ha, why, why, oh why?!

Church: Some of them were crying, and some of them didn’t care.

Tucker: And you were one of those people who didn’t give a shit.

Church: I expected things to go wrong from the start. Don’t blame me if I didn’t help with the problem, dickhead!

Donut: (offscreen, still unfiltered) I told you, it was a simple mishap with my vanilla-satin-scented candles. Sheesh.

Flowers: DONUT! CLOTHES!

Donut: Party pooper!

Kintaros: Why is he naked?

Leo: THAT’S your first question?

Aruto: Why did you have a candle in the first place?

Wyoming: We need them to remove the stench that was coming from the kitchen.

All eyes from the Reds and Blues glared at Carolina yet again.

Carolina: I was trying to find a hobby, so don’t blame me.

Frøy: Are you kidding me?! I wasn’t able to use the toilet because of both Grif and Sister were stuck in the bathroom for weeks because of food poisoning, and the toilet clogged because of that!!

Grif: I regret ever tasting that MRE.

Jiro: I know how you feel.

Both Jiro and Ramon glared at Riki because of the stench in his room and his cooking skill.

Simmons: Anyway, we lost 80% of our rations in the fire, so these two fat-asses (looks at Grif and Sister) over here started going around and eating native plants!

~*~*~

Grif and Sister approach some wild mushrooms that glow a mysterious blue coolor.

Grif (flashback): Oh, hey there, sexy.

Sister (flashback): These look good.

~*~*~

Simmons: (narrator) Oh, and as it turns out, the mushrooms are basically crystal meth ON crystal meth!

~*~*~

Cut to Grif and Sister running by, in order, Sarge fighting a tree, Carolina fixing a Warthog, and Simmons going for a walk.

Grif (flashback): (super fast) Heyhohowyadoin’? Good?Okay. I’mgonnagoforarun. AlotofpeoplesayI’mnotfast,butI’msuperfast. Don’ttell anyybodythough,it’soursecret, Okay, bye!

Sister (flashback): (super fast) I’msofullyetIhavesomuchenergy.

~*~*~

Back to the base.

Grif: Yeah? Well, at least I didn’t spend my summer learning Esperanto!

Simmons: (ashamed) I thought “Esperanto” was Spanish for “Spanish.”

Church: Spanish is just Spanish! Me and Delta told you thst multiple times but you kept saying Esperanto is Spanish!

Simmons: I know...!

Frøy: And now you’re the only one in the universe who speaks a dead language! How appropriate!

Simmons: (sigh) Mi estas tiel sola. (I’m so alone.)

Caboose: And Freckles got a new body! He can use any bathroom he wants now!

~*~*~

Freckles walks threateningly into the scene. We then cut to a wide shot to reveal he’s hopelessly small, with Caboose and Tucker looking at him.

Freckles (flashback): (like a chipmunk) Prepare to be exterminated!

He shoots Caboose. Caboose dramatically falls.

Caboose (flashback): AHHH! Tucker! You’re supposed to be playing dead.

Tucker (flashback): (leaving) Riiight...

~*~*~

Back to the base.

Tucker: That’s right around when we tried to raise some money for new bases by selling off our movie rights!

Delta: I believe we didn’t have any-

Ruby, Jin, Ryutaros, Aruto, Leo, & Vice: You have movie rights?! Awesome!

Pyrrha: Even with my fame. No movie company has asked for me to be in any of their films.

Izuku: What rights did you own?

South: Us and for some reason Reservoir Dogs. We still have no idea why we own that.

Grif: Yeah well, Hollywood really screwed the pooch on that one.

Church: We should have burned the script when we had a chance.

Weiss: Was it bad?

Doc: Well it received positive reviews and critical acclaim. They just got us and the story all wrong.

O’Mally: Ugh, they just have to ruined my character.

Simmons: Oh, but we were rich!

Grif: And then we realized water parks were way more awesome than bases!

Carolina: So we built the galaxy’s greatest... water park.

CT: 101 on how to waste money on useless stuff, we don’t need.

~*~*~

Cut to the water park. Where all the boys even Washington jump in the air with joy. Carolina, South, and CT refrains.

Boys (flashback): Yay!

Girls (flashback): (with disinterest) Yay...

~*~*~

Ruby, Jin, Vice, Ramon, & Ryutaros: That’s so cool!!

Yang: I wanna swim! I’ll get my bikini!

Wyoming: Don’t bother.

George: What? Why?

Grif: BECAUSE OF DONUT-!

~*~*~

Mirroring the shot from before, Donut is in the foreground as the park burns in the background.

Donut: Whoopsy-daisy.

~*~*~

Grif: I MEAN HOW?! HOW DO YOU BURN DOWN A WATER PARK, DONUT?!

Delta: It is highly illogical of how he did it.

Donut walks in, now wearing his armor.

Donut: 1) Lube isn’t normally flammable! And B) I didn’t burn down the whole water park! Just the park part!

Caboose: And then we formed the best band ever!

Washington: Tucker thought it might attract... chicks.

Tucker: Which worked.

~*~*~

Cut to Grif and Tucker arguing over the name, with Caboose watching on the drum while Frøy was on the mic and while Church and Felix just standing and floating at their partner’s side while watching the whole argument.

Grif: The Talking reds!

Tucker: Mötley Blüe!

Grif: How about redmau5?

Carolina: Hey, I heard you boys are looking for a backup singer.

Tucker: Uh, yeah! Chick singers are awesome!

Grif: Can you sing, though?

Frøy and Church does a killing gesture knowing their sister’s voice.

Carolina: (confident) Can I sing?

~*~*~

Cut to the base.

Tucker: (unconvincingly) Carolina sings. So good.

Carolina: Thank you.

Simmons: Oh, and we’re definitely not hust saying that because she could kill us.

Wyoming: And break every bone in our body.

Grif: (strained) So. Good.

Tucker: I mean... Frøy wasn’t bad.

Frøy: Please stop it.

Simmons: Sarge decided to make his own enemy, so he built an evil robot army to invade our valley!

Tucker: But the robots malfunctioned and attacked the dinosaurs!

Theta & Iota: And it was the awesomest battle ever! Of all time!!

~*~*~

Cut to the Reds and Blues watching an enormous battle happening offscreen. We get explosions and roars and some flashes of red light plus a black plume of smoke coming in from off-camera.

Theta/Iota (flashback): Woah.../Wow...

Washington (flashback): I have seen some amazing things in my life, but this...? This takes the cake.

Frøy (flashback): I think I can died happy now.

~*~*~

Back to the base.

Vice: Now that is so cool!

Ryutaros: Are the dinosaurs still alive?

CT: Yeah they are, they just destroyed the robots and left. Haven’t seen them in awhile though.

Carolina: (snickering) And then Grif convinced Simmons Game of Thrones really happened.

Leo: What the heck is Game of Thrones?

Ikazuchi: A really good TV show ever!

Blake: And Grif convinced him that a fictional series actually exist?

Simmons: He explained it to me in very convincing manner.

South: And apparently, after that, we learned Simmons has a knack for-

Simmons: (panicked) Don’t say it!

~*~*~

Grif and Simmons are standing on top of the base, mirroring their positions in the first episode.

Simmons (flashback): Nuh-uh.

Grif (flashback): Uh-huh.

Simmons (flashback): Oh, shut up!

Grif (flashback): Seriously, dude!

Simmons (flashback): Nah, nah, no way!

Grif (flashback): Yeah, way!

Simmons (flashback): Dude.

Grif (flashback): Dude.

Simmons (flashback): Dude!

Grif (flashback): Dude.

Simmons (flashback): Dude!

Grif (flashback): Yeah, dude.

Simmons (flashback): That’s awesome! Man, I’m gonna go visit!

~*~*~

Weiss: Seriously?

George: Wow, you’re must be an idiot for falling for that.

Ryutaros: Wai! Simmons-no-baka!

Simmons: What? I can’t believe in it? Anyway, Sarge found a new enemy! One that would keep him busy for the rest of our time here.

~*~*~

The Reds are gathered outside the new base, watching Sarge walks on camera again.

Sarge (flashback): For far too long our people have been oppressed, crushed, under the weight pf ourselves! If we don’t start standing up to our mortal foe gravitty, by god who will?

Washington, Frøy, Church, Felix, Carolina, and Tex are watching nearby.

Carolina (flashback): Are we really going to let this play out?

Washington (flashback): Why not see where it goes?

Felix (flashback): This is gonna be good.

Church (flashback): Something we can agreed on.

Frøy (flashback): You both are just cruel.

Lopez is in the Warthog, Sarge nearby.

Sarge (flashback): Buckle up, friendo! It’s time we take this fight to the enemy!

Lopez (flashback): Por farvor no. (Please no.)

The Warthog goes flying off a cliff.

Sarge (flashback): Chaaaarge!

~*~*~

Simmons: But that just meant Blue Team had one more Jeep than Red Team.

Tex: Not the First time either.

~*~*~

Back to outside the base: Donut, Grif, Simmons, North, South, Wyoming, and CT are standing there, while the warthog is on fire in the background.

Sarge (flashback): Gentlemen and lady, we simply cannot let Blue Team have tactical superiority over the canyon! This means war! Red. VS. BLUE!

Lopez (flashback): (offscreen) Mierda... (Shit...)

~*~*~

Back to the base.

Tucker: That helped us realize just  how outdated this whole Red Team-Blue Team thing really is.

Simmons: So, we had a meeting to debate a new form of government.

Yaiba & Naki: Oh this should to be good.

~*~*~

The Reds and Blues are facing each other outside their base, Carolina having joined the Blues this time.

Grif (flashback): I vote anarchy.

Simmons (flashback): You can’t vote anarchy, you dumbass!

Omega & O’Mally (flashback): But it fit us so well!

Flowers & Doc (flashback): No!

Tucker (flashback): Monarchy! Whoever holds the magical sword, (draws his sword) Excalibur!

Caboose (flashback): Party Paryarchy!

Felix (flashback): Jedi Order!

Frøy (flashback): Of course, you’ll choose that.

Felix (flashback): Hey, up yours Frøy.

North (flashback): Democracy?

Sarge (flashback): Military Dictatorship!

Carolina (flashback): Matriarchy.

CT (flashback): I like where you’re thinking.

South (flashback): Fuck yeah!

Tex (flashback): We can make an agreement on that. (smirks)

Church (flashback): Typical.

The girls (flashback): Hey!

Church (flashback): Not all of us are girls in this valley! Heck, most of us are pretty much a dude! Of course, it’s freaking cliche.

Caboose (flashback): Oh! How about Malarkey?

Flowers (flashback): Caboose, that’s not a type of government! It just means meaningless talk and nonesense!

Long silence.

~*~*~

Washington: (back at the base) Malarkey won.

Theta: There was also the time when Frøy built a bomb and it blew up and make a wormhole to a new universe.

Grif: And what came out was really, really, really weird.

~*~*~

Everyone is gathered up.

Wasington (flashback): This has to be one of the strangest things I’ve seen ever... Of all time.

Frøy and female Frøy are looking at each other with Church and Felix floating at their partner’s side also in their opposite gender. Both wear identical armor and have identical weapons.

Both Frøy (flashback): THIS IS AMAZING!!

Both Church, Felix, & Tex (flashback): This is a fucking nightmare.

~*~*~

CT: The destruction they caused was enormous.

Frøy: (sigh) Too bad she had to go home. I never met someone that I could have so much fun with.

Church: Thank God for that!! I don’t think I could handle another Frøy and Felix.

Felix: I could say the same for you, asshole.

Tex: I suppose to be the one to say that\, consider that I have to be the one to handle the both of you cockbites.

Church & Felix: Shut up, bitch.

Donut: Oh! And don’t forgot York and Carolina’s wedding!

Ruby: (gasp) Really?! That’s amazing you guys!

Leo: Congrats, you two!

Sakura: Omedetō!

George: Congratulation!

Ikazuchi: Mazel tov!

York and Carolina: Thanks.

~*~*~

Carolina was in a nice Cyan dress with York in a suit holding each other hands. Behind Carolina were CT, South, and Kimball while behind York were Wash, North, and Tucker while Frøy as the Ring Bearer with Church, Felix, and Tex floating at his side. In the center is Sarge marrying them.

Sarge (flashback): And now by the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. Just kiss the bribe already.

York chuckles with a grin.

York (flashback): You don’t have to tell me twice.

Before York could even kiss her, Carolina grabbed him by the collar and dipped him, he got startled by this but he kissed her back as everyone cheered. The lieutenants and feds shot their guns in the air as Donut and Jensen were crying.

~*~*~

Wyoming: And that’s when we knew who would be in control in bed.

Tucker: (chuckles) That’s not what I saw at the-

Carolina: Finish that sentence and I’ll make sure you have surgery so you be a women.

There was an awkward silence for that until Caboose broke it.

Caboose: Ah, you haven’t mentioned the dark place!

Tucker: Oh yeah! Somehow Caboose got stuck in another dimension!

Frøy: I didn’t do it.

~*~*~

Caboose is somehow in the Upside-Down from Netflix’s Stranger Things.

Caboose (flashback): Hello? Anyone there? THIS IS AWESOME!

The Reds and Blues are staring at the alphabet Christmas lights from Stranger Things.

Washington (flashback): “Neat.” He just... keeps saying, “Neat.”

North (flashback): I think he’s just excited, or he could be yelling for help if “neat” meant something.

Delta (flashback): How did he even end up there?

~*~*~

Back to the base.

Tucker: Oh, and we found Donut dead!

Nora: Really?

~*~*~

Grif and Wyoming find Donut’s supposedly dead body lying next to a body of water.

Grif (flashback): Sweet.

Wyoming (flashback): I guess it was the best day ever.

Simmons, Tucker, York, Wyoming, Grif, North, and their A.I.s are staring at a shallow grave.

Grif: (voiceover) We decided to bury him in  a shallow, unmarked grave.

They look up, hearing Donut offscreen.

Donut (flashback): (offscreen, unfiltered) Aw, fiddlesticks! I can’t find my suit!

Grif: (narrator) Turns out he was just... skinny-dipping.

York: (narrator) And that’s where I got second-degree trauma. Thanks a lot, fuckface.

Donut (flashback): (offscreen, unfiltered, cont’d) Guess I’m going au natural! Nice and breezy!

~*~*~

Leo: Did you see him?

Grif: Yes! Yes, we saw him!

~*~*~

In the exact same shot from when they were running from the dinosaur, Simmons, Tucker, York, North, and Grif run from Donut.

Simmons: AAAAAHHHH, RUN!

Wyoming: DON’T LOOK! DON’T LOOK!

Grif: AH, THE IRONY!

York: I’M BLIND!

North: I’M SCARED FOR LIFE!

~*~*~

CT: But that wasn’t even the weirdest thing that happened! Wash, Grew. A bread...

~*~*~

Cut to Washington standing outside. Of course, we can’t see the beard because his helmet is on.

Washington (flashback): It’s kind of... itchy.

~*~*~

Tucker: And then this morning Grif spiked Simmons’s couscous with his meth-meth shrooms! And Sister wanted to see if she was faster than him.

Grif: You know, for the lolz.

~*~*~

Cut to the shot from the opening, with Grif and Flowers talking to Frøy and the rest of his companion that he met and brings them to the base as Simmons and Sister runs by.

Simmons (flashback): (super fast) Ihaventbeenbeenthishypersinceihadamargerita!

Sister (flashback): (super fast) FastImfastyougotabetterone

Donut (flashback): (offscreen, voice unfiltered) Anyone seen my tanning oil?

Flowers (flashback): Jesus Donut, we have guests! 

Grif (flashback): Put some clothes on, for Pete sake!

Tucker appears again.

Tucker (flashback): Oh ho, Blue-Tang Clan!

Grif (flashback): The Red Kennedys!

There is a loud whistling sound, as though something is falling from a great height.

Sarge (flashback): (falling with it) SUCK IT NEWTON!

We quickly cut back to Grif before Sarge hits the ground.

~*~*~

Grif: It’s been awful! Instead of a peaceful retirement, it’s been the same damn shit with the same damn idiots!

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Christmas 2018

Christmas fics posted in 2018  (Includes non-English fics) 

Snön ligger vit på taken by MinilocIsland, Treehouse (In Svenska, 62k words) - Det här extrajobbet måste vara den bästa idén Isak någonsin har haft. Långa, ensamma nätter med massor av tid att plugga. Helt chill. Ingenting som stör. Tills den där långa, snygga regissören flyttar in i taksviten. 

Hele Norge Baker by MermaidsandMermen (61k words) - Are you brave enough to stay? Or strong enough to walk away? Isak Valtersen is neither, still reeling with guilt over leaving his little family, walking away from a life that was slowly suffocating him. He’s neither strong or brave, he’s a coward. Stupid, weak and easily led, with no idea how to make things right. He’s made himself a promise though, he is going to stay single and finally take control of his own life. He’s going to be happy. Work hard. Be the best father he can be, and he is never going to let himself get dragged into a relationship again. He’s been there, done that, and it’s not for him. He is going to have a quiet winter, a quiet Christmas and he is going to chill. Lick his wounds and for once just be himself. That’s the plan. 

The First Noel by colazitron (2k words) - Even's parents have a cabin in Hemsedal where the family traditionally spends Christmas. This year, Isak's coming with. 

Fucking Bieber by Kollakolan (6k words) - “So,” Elias starts. “You’ve decided to join us on Christmas Eve?” Isak just nods, as he is just about to take a sip. “Great. It’s not really that complicated. The baskets are already made; you’ll just pick them up and deliver them according to a list of addresses. Oh, and also, you need to be wearing at least a Santa’s hat.” “Since it’s Christmas specials and all,” Mikael adds. 

boys and boys and girls and girls by colazitron (2k words) - Noora meets a handsome boy at the Christmas market one day, but all is not she may have originally thought. 

The first star you see may not be a star by Laika_the_husband (53k words) - In this story of dark and woe Isak is a sex worker who specializes in services of not traditionally sexual nature. Want to watch someone sharpen a pencil really slowly, making a long twirly unbroken strip, for your kicks? Isak's your guy. He is good at his job and he likes it, and it pays the bills while he's studying civil engineering at the Met.It's also convenient that Isak doesn't have to actually touch any of his clients. Because he can't touch anybody, and nobody can touch him, or he'll freak out completely. One day, Isak goes to meet a client, and sees EvenStarr, the video artist whose stuff he loves. And his request is not the most bizarre, but the most disturbing one Isak has ever received. 

Christmas prompts by nofeartina (4k words) - Collection of prompts Tina wrote for on tumblr. 

The wish I wish tonight by imminentinertia (1k words) - A visit to Marianne, and a present, of sorts 

Jumpstart by colazitron (2k words) - Isak and Even spend their first Christmas just the two of them in Trondheim. 

What is the light by unsungyellowraincoat (1k words) - That year Mom can’t put up the Christmas tree. 

Santa Baby by Laika_the_husband (21k words) - Part 3. The story where the author suddenly found out Isak is polyamorous. And genderqueer. The POV changes every now and then. I'm making this to examine the poly Evak from various angles. 

Expiration Date by Treehouse (5k words) - In the midst if the December stress, Isak has to make use of the gift card Eskild gave him for Christmas last year. A gift card for a freaking massage. 

The Næsheims by Kollakolan (2k words) - “Well, you know the Næsheims?  ”Yes, Isak knows the Næsheims. Or rather, he knows of them, and he knows that Sana knows them. They have a restaurant down town where Sana’s brother works. They’ve gone by a couple of times when Sana needed to hand him keys or something. Isak also knows that the son in the Næsheim family is maybe the hottest guy in all of Oslo. Not that he has told anyone that he think’s so, but I mean come on, it’s not like Isak must spell it out. They have eyes. 

By Your Side by MinilocIsland (1k words) - Some Christmas traditions may not be what they seem, but it doesn't really matter. 

In una sera così serena by imminentinertia (2.6k words) - Isak has had quite enough of Christmas and it's only December 13. 

December 2018 by imminentinertia (Series, 6 Fics) 

bits and pieces of their love by cammm (Series) - One shots. All may not be Chrismassy. 

Ho Ho Ho!!! by MermaidsandMermen (5.5k words) - A big fundraising School Christmas Market, to raise the last bit needed for that big Revue. It will be great. Lots of local families coming to drink glogg and buy hotdogs and do stupid money pinching games. Yes and the kids can meet Santa. Sit on his lap and get a present. Such christmassy fun. 

one thing I really do need by colazitron (3.5k words) - Isak comes home from meeting the boys for some gløgg feeling festive and cheerful. 

Den lengste natta by hjertetssunnegalskap (Crazyheart) (In Norsk, 22k words) - Det er fredag den 21. desember 2018 og vintersolverv. Fruktbarhetsguden Frøy, i Evens skikkelse, må for første gang gjøre seg fortjent til den gaven han ønsker seg aller mest; kjærlighet. 18 år gamle Isak syns kjærligheten virker uoppnåelig, helt til han kommer hjem til Oslo på juleferie og besøker Jonas og Eva på kafeen Eldrimni. 

Gay Jesus by unsungyellowraincoat (1k words) - Eskild has an encounter. 

A New Tradition by bri_ness (1k words) - Lea has Isak and Even over for Christmas Eve. 

A different celebration by Kollakolan (3k words) - “We realized a few years ago that we were a few friends who never celebrated Christmas with our families. At first it was just me, Elias, Noora and one of Elias friends. But now usually some exchange students come along as well as other people that we find on the way.” “Like me?” Sana just smiles at him. 

Times like now by nofeartina (3k words) - Isak watches him, looks into Even’s eyes with what light’s left, watches his mouth go slack as Isak slowly puts his hand inside the fly and pulls out Even’s dick. He’s so hard. Isak wants to worship him, wants to show him how perfect he is. 

Warmth by bri_ness (557 words) - Isak doesn't know how to accept a Christmas present from his mom. 

From Spark to Flame by MinilocIsland (1.5k words) - He'd thought he'd be alone in the castle for Christmas as usual. This year, however, there's a slight disruption to Isak's Christmas plans. 

i wish for by hippopotamus (2k words) - Isak just wishes that one person would want to get to know him before they knew that he could do magic. 

i think i recognise your face but i've never seen you before by monsterandmana (1k words) - Even works in a coffee shop. Isak is on the coffee run. It's Christmas. 

Fotokalendern by Kollakolan (In Svenska, 12k words) - Tags says Christmas but not really so I’m not sure. 

The Magician by folerdetdufoler (3.6k words) - the "christmas magic" prompt 

Two truths and one tale by evak1isak (7.6k words) - Isak ends up in Eva's cabin for a Kosegruppa's New Year's Eve Party. And begins the new year with a new boyfriend. 

I'll be home for Christmas by teatrolley (9k words) - They’ve been in Trondheim for half a year now. But for Christmas, they’re coming home. Or: Sometimes the things you were running from become the things you want to run towards 

Merry Kiss My Ass (under the mistletoe) by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (10k words) - Working in retail during the holiday season is a nightmare. Especially when Isak has to work right alongside his just friend and not at all crush, Even. Among freaky customers, secret santa presents and constant reminders of his one night of passion with Even, Isak doesnt know if he'll make it to the new year. If only he could figure out who was behind all the random mistletoes he keeps finding... 

The Magic of Christmas by wyoheartsmusic (4k words) - Isak hates his job - especially during Christmas; to be honest, he pretty much hates anything involved with Christmas. But then Even comes around and maybe he doesn't hate anything all that much 

o night divine by thekardemomme (4k words) - This is the first Christmas in nearly five years that he’s spending without Isak, and while he still decorated his apartment and bought eggnog and spent an excruciating amount of time wrapping all of his gifts perfectly, the hole in his heart hasn’t gone unnoticed. It creeps in every time he goes to ask Isak for a bow for his gifts, every time he comes home and has to turn on the Christmas lights himself because Isak wasn’t there to do it for him, every time he plays Christmas music much too loud because Isak isn’t studying in the other room and teasingly pleading for him to turn it down a few notches. It also creeps in when he sees Isak’s present sitting under the tree, neatly wrapped. It’s been wrapped for two months, actually. 

I'm Stuck on You by Twinklylightseverywhere (6k words) - Jonas lets out another nervous laugh. Isak wishes his best friend would shut up. “You two will take the spare room. Uh… with one bed.” “ONE BED?” Isak and Even both shout at the exact same time. “Merry Christmas!” 

Mine egne meninger by hjertetssunnegalskap (Crazyheart) (In Norsk, 17k words) - Eva kunne allerede kjenne hjertet banke raskere. Hun visste det var tullete, men med ett bare visste hun at hun kom til å slite med å dele rom med Vilde. Hun kom til å bli gående rundt en feberhet tåke og tenke på Vilde hele helga. Til ingen nytte. Fy faen. Dette kom jo til å bli en helt strålende romjulsferie.  I think this is an Evilde fic. 

Shall I Find No Other by ultimatelawrence (5k words) - Everyone is born with a compass on their body, inked into their skin and commonly on their inner left arm. Instead of pointing to north, the needle on the compass points in the direction of your true soulmate. Even wants to find his as soon as possible. 

hope you're wearing your best clothes by colazitron (2.6k words) - Even's original plan was to get Isak Harry Styles merch. One of those “treat people with kindness” sweatshirts because Isak likes being cosy and he likes Harry Styles and it's a nice slogan. 

[hjertetssunnegalskap1]

My Fanwork

Do you want stuff to read or art to look at? Here are the fandom things I have made these last two years, maybe you can find something? 

It’s a lot. I can’t believe it’s this much, to be honest. Anyway. It’s presented more or less chronological. If you find something tempting, I hope you enjoy!

This is a long post. So. It’s all under the cut. :) 

SKAM FANFICTION

Multichaptered fics

Don't leave me (alone): Isak/Even, 106 674 words,  6/6 chapters. Explicit. Slightly magical AU where Even never transferred to Hartvig Nissen, but Even and Isak meet as adults.  

The Very Personal Shopper: Isak/Even, 21 986 words. 2/2 chapters. Explicit. Part of the Apps of Love series. A shopping service AU (an alternative first meeting for #SkamFicWeek). Isak is too lazy to shop his groceries, and too fed up with Eskild’s complaints, and finds that a shopping service would be perfect. But what can he do when his personal shopper turns out to be the most gorgeous guy he has ever seen?

Different, but same: Isak/Even,  31 615 words, 2/2 chapters. Explicit. Post break up fic. Even goes on a ski holiday with Yousef and Elias to get over it. At the cabin he meets a guy who looks like Isak, except his dark, buzz cut hair, well trained body and rough, charismatic personality. The fact that he calls himself Markus Simensen is even more confusing. Translated to russian here. 

Drunk on Your Colours: Isak/ Even,  71 500 words, 4/4 chapters + bonus info. Mature.  When Isak starts at Hartwig Nissen, he is confused by all the eyes with bright colours he can see. He has a strange gift that makes him see colours in certain people’s eyes, and the colours reflect who they are and how they feel. Now there are kids with colours in their eyes everywhere, and one tall, gorgeous guy has the colours of the whole rainbow. Friends to lovers AU where Even is in third year at Hartvig Nissen when Isak starts in his first year.

My Very Personal Ski Trainer: Isak/ Even, 28 181 words, 5/5 chapters. Explicit. This is part of the Skam Stories Christmas Challenge and part of the Apps of Love series. Even has just broken up with Sonja and is recovering from a manic and depressive episode. Sana has invited Even and her other friends to a Holiday cabin trip, and Even needs to get in shape so that he can beat his buddies in Sana’s planned ski race. He tries out a personal ski trainer app and meets the hot ski trainer Isak Valtersen. A different meeting AU. 

The Secret Santa App: Isak/Even,  25 591 words, 5/5 chapters. Mature. Part of the Skam Secret Santa. Part of the Apps of Love series. In this world, Isak and Even met at Nissen, but they were never brave enough to do anything. Isak (25) is a stressed-out salesman for playground equipment. Even (27) is a freshly educated, burned out and lonely children’s psychologist. They meet again when Sana, Eva and Vilde arrange a Secret Santa party. Without knowing it, Isak and Even end up as Secret Santas for each other and they chat with each other on the Secret Santa App. Things happen.

A Fucking Bet: Isak/Even, 32 793 words, 7/7 chapters. Explicit. SKAM Big Bang 2018 collection.  A fuck buddies AU/ Canon Divergence in Isak’s POV (and one chapter in Even's POV). Isak and Even are just friends. They make a bet and decide to fuck only five times and then go back to being friends again. Isak hopes that he might be able to fuck his crush out of his system, once and for all. Who knows what Even’s motives are.  

Around the Corner (My Very Personal Christmas Shopper): Even/Isak, 51000 words, 4/4 chapters. Explicit. Evakteket Christmas Challenge 2017 collection. Isak (22) works in a record shop for Jonas. Isak’s best friend Eva works in the shop, too. Even (24) comes and asks for a job. The two get off on the wrong foot, although Isak finds Even irritatingly attractive. To complicate things, Isak has just gotten a personal Christmas gift shopper, who turns out to be very flirty.This is a Holiday movie AU (inspired by “The Shop around the corner”, 1950), and it's part of the Evakteket Christmas Challenge. The two other prompts were “Bah, humbug!» and Snowglobe.

To Write a Good Ending: Sara/ Ingrid, 13205 words, 2/2 chapters. Explicit. Evakteket Birthday Challenge.  This story starts the summer before Sara starts at Nissen. Sara is ambitious, but struggles to feel like everybody else. This is a 5+1. Five times Sara kisses someone for the wrong reason, or one time she kisses for the right, or five times Sara is a part of someone else’s story ending, and one time she writes her own ending.

The Cuddle Snuggle App: Isak/Even,124934 words, 10/10 chapters. Explicit. Part of the Apps of Love series. Halfway through Even's third year, he is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. When Isak is 16, he moves away from his troubled mother. Both boys have turned their lives upside down, and their new lives are more or less lonely and touch deprived. They meet when Even downloads a cuddler app (mostly for his film project, but also because he needs the touch) and Isak becomes his professional cuddler. They are both determined to keep the cuddling friendly and platonic, but it proves to be difficult.

Mine egne meninger: Eva/Vilde. Norwegian. 16,871 words. 6/6 chapters. Explicit. Eva kunne allerede kjenne hjertet banke raskere. Hun visste det var tullete, men med ett bare visste hun at hun kom til å slite med å dele rom med Vilde. Hun kom til å bli gående rundt en feberhet tåke og tenke på Vilde hele helga. Til ingen nytte. Fy faen. Dette kom jo til å bli en helt strålende romjulsferie.  

The Origin and the Fulfillment: Isak/ Even. 81,026 words. 14/14 chapters (13 + epilogue). Explicit. Collab with @evakuality​.  Isak, an alpha, and Even, an omega, meet on the tram on their way to school. From there, they deal with first heats, pining, miscommunication and lots and lots of tension. They both have issues with their own, and other people’s, assumptions about being alpha and omega.  

Oneshots

The Fake Boyfriend App: Isak/Even,  7 239 words, 1/1 chapter. Mature rating. Part of the Apps of Love series. AU where Isak is desperately pining for his flatmate Even, and downloads a fake boyfriend app to get over him. When he discovers that the Fake boyfriend is a human, and not a bot, he is sceptical.

An Early Friday Morning: Eva/Jonas, 2 115 words, 1/1 chapters. Explicit. This is a future fic/ ficlet. Eva and Jonas wake up and take the chance of a quickie while the kids are busy. That's it. It's a pwp, basically.

Trollbundet/Spellbound: Isak/Even, 16 425 words, 1/1 chapters. Explicit. Evakteket Summer Challenge. A summer fling soulmate AU. Isak has graduated from Nissen and he’s attending Trolsk (Enchanting), an alternative Fair/music festival with his friends. When he meets a guy called Even, they bond. However, Even is reluctant about bonding. Is a summer fling all they will have? Prompts: Camping, summer fling you can’t forget, bare feet.

The Rule of Reciprocation: Noora/Eva, 9952 words, 1/1 chapters. Teen and up. SKAM Reverse Bang 2018.  Noora knew too well that she had fallen in love with Eva. She didn't know exactly when it had happened. It was something that snuck up on her gradually, and one day she realized she was gone for Eva, for her laughter, her sense of humour, her bright eyes and the way she always was so open to so many things. Noora had most likely fallen a long time before things ended with William, she just hadn’t known it yet. She hadn’t allowed herself to know.  

My Tie Is Blue: Even/Isak, 1 185 words, 1/1 chapters. Teen and up.  Ficlet based on Julie Andem’s New year’s gift and this anonymous prompt: «Has anyone ever written a backstory for "my tie is blue and i love you"? I imagine them bickering, Isak says the tie is blue and Even insists it's black and it goes on for over half an hour of light insults and playful shoves and at some point Even realizes he's wrong but he won't admit it and in the end Isak settles the argument by saying I love you»

Not an aberration, but rather a truth: Even pov. Collab with @evakuality. 2780 words, 1/1 chapters. General Audiences. Skam Chill Christmas Challenge.  It takes Even a little while to figure out who he is, and it's not as clear cut as he might once have thought.

Den lengste natta: Isak/Even. Norwegian. 22101 words, 1/1 chapters. Explicit. Skam Chill Christmas Challenge.  Det er fredag den 21. desember 2018 og vintersolverv. Fruktbarhetsguden Frøy, i Evens skikkelse, må for første gang gjøre seg fortjent til den gaven han ønsker seg aller mest; kjærlighet. 18 år gamle Isak syns kjærligheten virker uoppnåelig, helt til han kommer hjem til Oslo på juleferie og besøker Jonas og Eva på kafeen Eldrimni. 

All Good Things Life Has to Offer:  Vilde/ Eva. 10,721 words. 1/1 chapter. Explicit. She hadn’t really had butterflies in her stomach since she went out with Magnus, half a lifetime ago. Magnus was sweet. But the butterflies today were for Eva.

Don’t you let me go tonight. Isak/ Even. 2 209  words. 1/1 chapter. Written for the smut prompt making love.The first time Even and Isak make love, it’s not particularly slow and tender, at least not at first. Some would maybe not even call it making love, they would call it getting off, or fucking. Not that Even cares about that. But the point is, the first time they make love, it’s not really planned.

Just A Summer Dream: Isak/Even. 9,105 words. 1/1 chapter. Explicit. Even knows that this thing is temporary. And yeah, he knows that to do this, here, probably is a stupid thing to do.  He knows that it’s just a summer fling and that he’s too invested and a quick fuck in this bathroom will do nothing to help that, but the thing is… he doesn’t have the energy to care. He wants Isak so much, and he wants him now.

Touch yourself: Isak/Even. 924 words. 1/1 chapter. Explicit. “Touch yourself for me,” he commands, voice still a whisper, but determined.

Hvis senga hans kunne snakke: Isak/Even. Norwegian.  3,662 words. 9/9 chapters. Explicit. Hvis senga hans kunne snakke, / ville den fortelle om / drømmene han drømmer. / Om alt som truer med å / flomme inn / gjennom sprekkene i veggen / og ta pusten fra han. / Drukne han.

A Mouthful: Isak/Even.  5,157 words. 1/1 chapter. Explicit. “What do you want?” Isak says, looking tired, although there’s a hint of recognition in his face as he watches them.Even grins. "Meeting the love of my life."

DRUCK FANFICTION

My Poison of Choice: 2456 words, 1/1 chapter. Mature. Part of the Temptations series. Matteo has an intoxicating crush on his best friend, Jonas. They have a smoke. Jonas wants to try shotgunning. This fic is translated in Russian here.

My Sweetest Elixir:  2,539 words, 1/1 chapter.  Mature. Part of the Temptations series, more or less free standing sequel to My Poisin of Choice. Written before we knew David’s name. – Good? Matteo asks casually, and the guy nods. His cheeks are slightly pink. Matteo’s face is burning. Damn. He wants to lick into those lips. He wants to bury his hands into that thick, dark hair. He desperately hopes that he doesn’t imagine that there’s something heated in the guy’s eyes, as well.

LOVLEG FANFICTION

Draumekvila: Gunnhild/ Luna.  5,112 words, 1/1 chapter. Norwegian. Mature. Det er noko der imellom dei, er det ikkje? Ein tone som strekkjer seg mellom dei og skjelv. Ein melodi som summar under huden. Det er vel ikkje berre noko Luna innbiller seg? Luna trur ho kan sjå noko i auga til Gunnhild, men ho er ikkje sikker.

Blue Moon:  Gunnhild/ Luna. 1,134 words, 1/1 chapter. General audiences.   Gunnhild is pining for Luna.

SKAM FANART

Even and Isak Fanart 

In Eden’s Garden 

Ingrid and Sara Fanart 

Isak and Even Pride Kiss 

Isak blowing Even (explicit)

Isak and Even good times (slightly explicit)

Isak and Even kissing in bed 

Sculpturer Even and Isak (explicit)

Young Even in Winter  (Skam Chill Christmas Challenge )

Aurora and Steve (Isak and Even kissing,  Evakteket SKAMenger Hunt)

Eva and Chris doing Holiday Chores - Fanart (Explicit, Skam Chill Christmas Challenge)

Trans Even and his Isak

Isak and Even (Explicit)

Isak ready for a fight

LOVLEG FANART

Ukulele

DRUCK FANART

Matteo and David

Beautiful Minds

David and Matteo Smitten (Michelangelo's David and Michelangelo's San Matteo)

Birds

Davenzi

[deancient]

The Vikings are never forgotten

The year 793 is never forgotten in history. When people came sailing from the sea and landed on the island of Lindisfarne east of England. The men stormed into the monastery on the island, killing the monks who lived there and robbed all that they found of gold and silver and other valuables.

It was the Vikings who had come to the island. Thus began the 250-year-old Viking Age, which lasted until 1050. The Vikings sailed along all the coasts of Europe and were in many countries on the way. The Vikings from Norway, Sweden and Denmark looted, traded and settled in other countries. They went to the British Isles, to France, to Iceland and Greenland, and some came to America, or Vinland, as they called it at that time.

Common life

Although the Vikings both plundered and robbed, the majority of people in the Viking Age lived an ordinary life. They worked as farmers, fishermen and craftsmen. But some dreamed of a more exciting life. Perhaps that's why so many turned out to be Viking fortune?

Storytellers

Humans have always found pleasure in good stories. Including the Vikings. Viking kingdoms and Viking chiefs were so happy to hear stories that they had people who worked to dictate and tell stories. The stories were called “kvad” (norse poetry) and those who told the stories were “skald”. The stories often involved the gods and heroes and gladly about the Viking kings. The very best “balders” received a good payment. It could be a great sword, a heavy bracelet in real gold, or a whole ship!

The “balders or skald” never wrote down the “kvad”. But the best stories were told on by mouth until someone found out it was a good idea to write them down in the 1100 and 1200s.

The Gods

The Vikings had so many different gods that we may still not know about everyone of them. Odin, Tor, Frøy and Frøya were some of the most important. Did you know that many of Scandinavian weekdays have been named after the gods the Vikings believed in? For example, Tuesday has been named after Ty (Tirsdag), who was the war God of the Vikings. Wednesday has been named after Odin (Onsdag), and Thursday after Tor (Torsdag), which was the God of thunderstorm and it goes on until Sunday (Søndag).

Oseberg ship

The Vikings were good at building boats. The boats were the best in Europe of at their time. They were light and fast, and suitable to sail right into the beach and make surprising attacks.

About 100 years ago, in 1903, archaeologists * found one of the ships beloning to the Vikings. It was buried in the soil under the farm Oseberg in Vestfold. The camp around the ship had preserved them well in the thousands of years it had been in the grave. In the ship a rich and powerful woman was buried! The archaeologists found things she had taken in the grave. Here was a chair, five beds, more sledges, woven sculptures, plates, chests, knives and more. In the tomb she had also brought many animals: thirteen horses, six dogs and two bulls. And last but no least a maidservant.

Conclusion

So what we can leave with is a pondering thought. These are no glamoures fairytales about how a civilization or a nation rose above others or how they endeavoured. This is to be taken as a historical truth, to understand what came before us and what may come after us. Not that the events will be the exact same, but with history we may understand were we might go. 

[hedendom]

Vintersolverv

The shortest day, the longest night, Sol is in absence, The longest moon, the shortest light, Måne rules this sky, Darkness envelops a world less bright, Just as the embers of the midwinter fire, Until the sun rises, they must stay alight, The knowledge that days grow longer now, Hope grows stronger now, And warmth supports survival, As Frøy returns on his golden steed, To sow the seed of life, For one more year, give thanks, Sol is reborn.

Poem: @hedendom Artwork: Johan Egerkrans

[northseas]

taking my pet boat out for a walk, ensuring enrichment

[northseas]

absolutely farcical that the netherlands has been disqualified from eurovision and not ya know The Other Place

[northseas]

got a new camera lens today so naturally:

ripley photohsoot

[northseas]

pov your put down your book for two seconds to scroll tumblr and the cover of the book your reading was currently reblogged by your mutual

[northseas]

when may 12th rolls around, and season 2 of iwtv starts up, i won’t be the same person anymore

[northseas]

it’s my birthday tomorrow:3

[northseas]

soon done with the book im currently reading, the fisherman (john langan), a moody lovcraftian horror book which has been intresting, if not a bit bulky (despite it's 260 page count) so i ask:

genera, synopsis, and my thoughts under the cut

the familiar, leigh bardugo

historical fiction, fantasy, magical realism

In a shabby house, on a shabby street, in the new capital of Madrid, Luzia Cotado uses scraps of magic to get through her days of endless toil as a scullion. But when her scheming mistress discovers the lump of a servant cowering in the kitchen is actually hiding a talent for little miracles, she demands Luzia use those gifts to better the family's social position. What begins as simple amusement for the bored nobility takes a perilous turn when Luzia garners the notice of Antonio Pérez, the disgraced secretary to Spain's king. Still reeling from the defeat of his armada, the king is desperate for any advantage in the war against England's heretic queen—and Pérez will stop at nothing to regain the king's favor. Determined to seize this one chance to better her fortunes, Luzia plunges into a world of seers and alchemists, holy men and hucksters, where the line between magic, science, and fraud is never certain. But as her notoriety grows, so does the danger that her Jewish blood will doom her to the Inquisition's wrath. She will have to use every bit of her wit and will to survive—even if that means enlisting the help of Guillén Santangel, an embittered immortal familiar whose own secrets could prove deadly for them both.

thoughts: need bardugo any introduction? i havent really read her main series (the grishaverse), but i have the alex stern stuff. this is set in medival spain which is very interesting to me, and is a stand alone (im reading too many series...)

the other valley, scott alexander howard

sci-fi, time travel, speculative ficition

Sixteen-year-old Odile is an awkward, quiet girl vying for a coveted seat on the Conseil. If she earns the position, she’ll decide who may cross her town’s heavily guarded borders. On the other side, it’s the same valley, the same town--except to the east, the town is twenty years ahead in time. To the west, it’s twenty years behind. The towns repeat in an endless sequence across the wilderness. When Odile recognizes two visitors she wasn’t supposed to see, she realizes that the parents of her friend Edme have been escorted across the border from the future, on a mourning tour, to view their son while he’s still alive in Odile’s present. Edme––who is brilliant, funny, and the only person to truly see Odile––is about to die. Sworn to secrecy in order to preserve the timeline, Odile now becomes the Conseil’s top candidate, yet she finds herself drawing closer to the doomed boy, imperiling her entire future.

i who have never known men, jacqueline harpman

when i got this, the girl in the bookstore asked if i had read his blog and that she was very interested in this book herself because of that. i hadnt, but the question intrigued me. anyways, sci fi time travle what more could i ask for??

sci-fi, dystopia, feminism

Deep underground, thirty-nine women live imprisoned in a cage. Watched over by guards, the women have no memory of how they got there, no notion of time, and only vague recollection of their lives before. As the burn of electric light merges day into night and numberless years pass, a young girl - the fortieth prisoner - sits alone and outcast in the corner. Soon she will show herself to be the key to the others' escape and survival in the strange world that awaits them above ground.

need some more feminist literature in my life... also a very short book so itll help with my end of the year statistic lol

[northseas]

baby girl big yawn

[northseas]

not me and buddy having the same haircut