#life log

[prince-rocy]

The Way i want to live life 😍

[starffis]

February 2025 outdoor sketchbook highlights

[agentem]

Feb 21 (time unknown unless otherwise indicated). I decide to listen to "All Systems Red" (Murderbot Diaries #1) on Audible for free since it is free if you are a member.

Feb 21, 4:37pm: Artificial Condition (#2) downloaded.

Feb 21: I am forced to take a train to see my family for my mother's birthday. I console myself by listening to audiobooks and glaring at man who continually makes weird noises with his throat.

Feb 21, 8:08pm: I weigh in on casting of Alexander Skarsgard for Muderbot series soon to debut on Apple. (I am asexual, okay! That doesn't mean I don't want to be conventionally attractive. No, I don't understand why either.)

Feb 21, 11:58 pm: "Rogue Protocol (#3)" downloaded.

Feb 22: Annoying family function. At one point, I hide in laundry room and eat potato chips and wish I had episodes of Sanctuary Moon. Later, while family eats dinner I flee upstairs to childhood bedroom and drape fuzzy pink scarf across my face. Eating is gross. Scarves are soft.

Feb 22, 9:52pm: "Exit Strategy (#4) downloaded.

Feb 22: I fall asleep sitting upright and freak out my sister, whom I am staying with.

Feb 23: I realize "Network Effect (#5)", the first full-length novel in the series is next. This one much longer than others. Perhaps... wait. It's available to play. Did I download it previously without realizing? Who cares, click play.

Feb 24: Discover large bruise on arm. Unrelated, presumably.

Feb 25, 2:47 pm: Feel the need to tell the world that I have consumed 1 day, 2 hours, 57 minutes of audio in four day span.

Feb 25, 2:51 pm: Okay so the Skarsgard casting could be bad. But they cast the Queen from The Little Mermaid who played Hermione Granger in the play I haven't seen on Broadway and it pissed off all the racists because she is Black as Mensah. I giggle and kick my feet. This casting I am totally onboard with and really think tumblr should talk about it more.

[lynninprogress]

10 March 2024

Life log

The Eve of the Test

I am shockingly calm about the upcoming ACT. I know I'm prepared and intelligent. I am so looking forward to it being over, though. I mean I have to be up at 4:40 in the morning. Then, I got to take a five hour test with no food or water (I'm so serious, no water allowed. Even outside of the testing room)

After this though, I'm free of the junior hell. Whatever challenges I face for the rest of the year will pale in comparison to this test.

Of course, challenges await me. The Google Educator Test is still a looming threat and planning prom is a special kind of reward that comes with its own planning hell.

One day down, four more to go.

[oneuldoh]

06월 07일 2023년

Along with the Gods

I just finished watching Along with the Gods: The Two Worlds. This is probably my 5th time watching it. I’ve been waiting for the new movie to come out.

I’m thinking of watching the second installment: Last 49 Days or watch a new movie. I should be watching My Perfect Stranger but I don’t feel like watching dramas today.

I should be preparing for my interview tomorrow: print out my resume, what to wear (I don’t have any closed shoes sandals. Should I just wear sneakers?), and my bag. I’m too lazy though. I’ll just try to stall some time.

[novellady]

In a stunning example of how much I keep my self to myself I got a cat almost a week ago and haven't mentioned him! Meet Ghost!

[teleconhaikus]

I really wish I had the ability to bend the ears of those in Hollywood to portray disabled and ill humans with grace and empathy and not who magically get better one day, or have only one episode story archs but ones where they actually are considered daily and their needs are thought of by all their friends and loved ones.. not because it’s the reality I know but because it’s the reality I wish I could at least see in a fantasy world at least.

I spent all day yesterday on my couch in pain from lupus, hands and feet just aching and no energy to do much else than sleep.. and it’s isolating and it’s lonely but it could be better if the world saw everyone for their flaws and supported them instead and the only they would is if they see it in their heros, and the fiction first. If you can’t even imagine it it can’t ever be real.

[babble-gumy]

its been too long. ive had headaches, and possible hormonal imbalance naw, and stress, and sadness, and jealousy...

i am experiencing ugly feelings. but it ain't bad to feel feels, I'll work through it tho. I'll sort things out, it will a lot of time and energy from me, and everyone in the room. i do apologize for killing the joys, so please dont mind me next time i am down.

I am resting within you see.

And its good taking time, taking breaths, spending life slowly, understanding myself better has no deadlines.

[frankenfae]

So I'm journaling and crying and I feel like leaving a review this pen is so good you can cry on the pages you wrote with this pen but it doesn't smudge out the words.. like this pen is magic!!

[prince-rocy]

Life

[starffis]

January 2025 outdoor sketchbook highlights

[nonsensthings]

ある本を読んで、

いつだったか忘れたけど、少し前に松浦弥太郎さんの「エッセイストのように生きる」という本を書店で見かけて、なんか面白い生き方だなと思い自分が普段何気なく過ごしている毎日をちょっと記録に残していこうと思い始めました。

この本の中で「エッセイ」は次のように定義されています。

・心象や思考を描くもの。人間らしい心のはたらきと、それをきっかけにして深めていった頭のはたらきを記すもの

・まだ多くの人が見つけて���ない「秘密」をさぐり、気づき、見つけ、言葉にしたもの

���ここでの「秘密」とは、ものやことに隠されている本質。ほかの人から借りた感性や意見ではなく、自分の内側から生まれた自分の言葉

エッセイストのように生きる以前に松浦さんは既にエッセイストなのでは？というツッコミも入れながら、この本を読んでいくうちに、日々感じていることや自分しか知らない人生を愉しむコツっていうやつを、自分なりにまとめて、自分なりにシェアできたらなと思って書き記していこうと思いまして。

他でもなく、tumblerというマイナーなプラットフォームを使って記録していきたいと思います。

[namthighs]

2025, here we go

Older I get, the quote "I don't think all writers are sad, I think it's the other way around- all sad people write" runs through my mind.

I have never been consistent with my tumblr. But that was never the intention of this tumblr. It was - still is - just a place to write down my thoughts and ramblings. My half-baked poems. My 3am dreams. But somewhere along the way, I realized, I am always drawn to writing when my feelings overwhelm or underwhelm me. I guess writing is a healthy way to vent out but sometimes it makes me sad that I seem to only save the negative emotions. But is it my fault that the positive ones are so fleeting? They are so fleeting that I dare not to enjoy it to the fullest and not taint its presence by drawing out my phone, trying to capture it.

My writing skills have become rusty with time. Of course, that is expected, I haven't been reading books like I used to. I am nothing like how I used to be like. It is to the point where I can't explain to a stranger who I am. I am nothing. I am merely existing.

I used to be secure in my relationships. I thought I had pretty good friendships (I still do!) but recently that sense of security has taken a hit. It doesn't help that a close friend has faded into nothing. Years and years of friendship taken as granted and I couldn't deal with it anymore. I am fine with many things but once you start treating my time as expendable and yours as gold, I am gone. And if you are okay with my absence, then I must have meant nothing to you anyway.

I am just going to interpret it as that friendship has served its purpose and that is why it came to an end.

[decapodiformes]

2024/10/2

アパートの敷地内の柿が鈴生りに。秋って感じがするー。

There are a lot of fruits on the persimmons in the garden of the apartment where I live. It feels like autumn🍂

[oneuldoh]

06월 06일 2023년

Life Log — Entry # 03

I almost made a new account here on Tumblr. I deleted it after 5 minutes of signing up. I (again) wanted to make a separate account for personal stuff. I tried doing it four months ago and when I did, I stopped posting all together; thinking no one’s going to read it anyway. But that was the point though? I ended up deleting it and moving back to this account.

I just couldn’t delete this account mainly because I have followers here even though I haven’t interacted with most of them. Anyways! I decided to make a side blog instead so I could still access my main account. I made this private too so I could post at ease without having to worry about getting judged. Guess I’ll never be comfortable spilling my thoughts out in the open.

This week, dad and I are alone at home. Mom went to Japan and will be staying there for a week. Jan is at Boracay with Pau, babysitting. I’m doing my best to do house chores while getting my stuff organized.

These days I am trying to be productive by:

Cleaning up my socials. I set up my Letterboxd account! I also made a new YouTube channel because I felt like separating my fangirling account will make my life seem like it’s organized. I also cleaned up my Twitter accounts.

Applying to jobs. I’ve been applying to jobs since last year but I didn’t took it way too seriously. Now that I’m desperate for money, I’m taking it seriously by answering calls and attending those damned interviews. I really suck at interviews. I stutter a lot and I couldn’t make a cohesive sentence. Maybe it’s one of the reasons why I couldn’t get a job offer. Oh, I have a scheduled interview this Thursday at Makati near my old office. It’s an 8am-5pm job and I’m not sure if I’m ready to commute. I hope there’s a job opportunity where I could work from home.

Listening to kpop boy group discographies! These days I’m into EXO, BTOB, and Seventeen! I’m kinda giddy that I’m discovering these groups like I’m in my teens again. I can’t believe I only liked one boy group since 2007 and that’s Bigbang. There’s news that TOP is no longer with YG and Bigbang. GD’s contract ended, too. Well, Still Life felt like it was a really good bye but I was hoping it was a See You Again type of song. Anyway! I’m listening to all of these boy groups’ albums from their first album release up to present. I want to sincerely enjoy their music. I have been following EXO since 2020 but I haven’t had the chance to discover their old songs so I couldn’t say that I’m a solid fan yet. As for BTOB, I’ve known them because of Sung-Jae BUT it’s just this year that I wanted to dive into their fandom because of Chang-Sub. I would say he’s my bias. I discovered him thru his Youtube segment Jeongwaja in ootb studio’s YouTube channel (I’ve watched all of his videos! This week, he’ll go back to the military as a promise for reaching 500k subscribers haha!) As for Seventeen, I’ve been seeing this member on Twitter and he’s just handsome af haha! His name’s Wonwoo! Although I hate getting into boy groups with more than 10 members (my memory is frail plus I can’t remember who’s singing), this group may be an exception. Their albums and songs are all a bop (although most of it were kinda sound the same). I really liked it!

Here’s a song I recently discovered that I like:

Chanyeol launched his personal YouTube channel! He talked about the meaning behind his channel name and how he got it (thanks to Zzar!). Zzar stole the show here. She knows she’s the boss haha! Hoping to get to know more of Chanyeol through his YouTube! He’s my bias (just look at that face!!!!) and seeing him with Zzar made me fall in love with him more.

I know this is a distraction from SM Ent because of the ongoing lawsuit. I hope all members of EXO leave that shitty company and just make their own company. I’ll support them no matter what happens!

Photo credit of Chanyeol’s drawing

Anyway! I typed a lot which is new. Maybe because no one’s going to read about this? And I didn’t care about whether my sentences made sense or not. I just wanted to post something.

It’s currently 11:30pm and I wake up at 6am to drink meds. Oh, I finally finished all those big pills for treating TB today. I was taking 1200mg of meds in the past two months. I can finally say good bye to those big pills. Tomorrow onwards, I’ll be taking the small pills. Hopefully, my month 2 sputum result is negative. Lately I’ve been coughing again.

Anyways. Bye for now!

[teleconhaikus]

I love my cat.. not everything is good but I love my cat this week extra hard and it's really nice. He's so nice to me and not everyone always is.