#life log

[amazing-clicks]

The simple life I want. 🍃🌴

[vrgssmncht]

"did it fix what was wrong inside?"

YES. Cicada molt does.

Nice

Today may be shit socially but I found TWO cicada molts so there's that (usually it's zero..) I love you cicadas! (Woagh I've gotten very tan from all the camping and all the observations)

Look at them! Aren't they cool as heck?!?

Also attended a great lecture on conservation and a seminar discussing the research a club I'm in has done (that I will also be doing later next year wahoo!) This seminar really lit the light inside me again a bit.. hellyeah for that! It's refreshing to be surrounded by people who have the same value as yours.. ah.. also my senior gave me a drive full of fauna pics from his expedition! Hellyeah! This post is about gratitude!

[novellady]

In a stunning example of how much I keep my self to myself I got a cat almost a week ago and haven't mentioned him! Meet Ghost!

[teleconhaikus]

I really wish I had the ability to bend the ears of those in Hollywood to portray disabled and ill humans with grace and empathy and not who magically get better one day, or have only one episode story archs but ones where they actually are considered daily and their needs are thought of by all their friends and loved ones.. not because it’s the reality I know but because it’s the reality I wish I could at least see in a fantasy world at least.

I spent all day yesterday on my couch in pain from lupus, hands and feet just aching and no energy to do much else than sleep.. and it’s isolating and it’s lonely but it could be better if the world saw everyone for their flaws and supported them instead and the only they would is if they see it in their heros, and the fiction first. If you can’t even imagine it it can’t ever be real.

[karekul]

Building this little korpokkur

At first I wanted to do picture but when I got some of my supplies in the mail I immediately wanted to attempt to turn it into a pin. It was actually difficult since I had no idea how to set up the fabric cuts to allow you to pull back the fabric. Glue I used is B7000, it was very messy and smelly. Attaching the bead wasn't as hard as making the leaf with the cast on stitch (I'm still learning to do that stitch more cleanly) In the end it looks cute and was fun experience to make!

Material:

Chenille needle + long darner needle + straw

Linen cloth

DMC 25 : 907

DMC 25 : 3078

[decapodiformes]

2024/10/2

アパートの敷地内の柿が鈴生りに。秋って感じがするー。

There are a lot of fruits on the persimmons in the garden of the apartment where I live. It feels like autumn🍂

[frankenfae]

Some days feel harder than normal and you know it's for everyone's good you put yourself on timeout essentially. Like turn off the phone, go to your room or wherever, maybe write in your journal or whatever but there's no way you're going to be a barrel of laughs that day so it's better to like reduce the fallout of your bad bad mood..

Which sounds counterproductive because truly if it was reversed I would love to cheer up a friend, or at least keep them company on their worst days but I somehow find myself mostly around friends who love me on Sunshine channel committee but kinda hate when I'm down in the dumps. Like but you're the happy friend, you're the smart one, etc etc.. it's like when I got dumped by my long-term boyfriend and someone was like but you're the dream couple I'm like well sorry to let you down and idk that feels so common for me. Somewhere in their heads everyone wants to see me a certain way it makes them happy to know me and be my friend but really the reality isn't what they see and it doesn't matter who I am because it's the projection onto me that makes themselves feel so good about themselves.. like oh this? This is my funny engineer friend with chronic illnesses but don't worry she's not like a sad sick friend she's a funny strong friend who's capable of everything! She's superwoman! It's literally why people dump me too but I'm like hey I never said I was superwoman but I sure af do try. Maybe because my general understanding is my value is very deeply tied in what I can do for others but the truth is I'm tired and sick and there's some days where I've been polite and generous and kind for so long that I feel like screaming or crying or punching a wall and that's not very healthy but at least I know when I feel that way to just remove myself and regroup.

Anyways that's on my mind tonight.. At least it's Friday.

[oneuldoh]

06월 07일 2023년

Along with the Gods

I just finished watching Along with the Gods: The Two Worlds. This is probably my 5th time watching it. I’ve been waiting for the new movie to come out.

I’m thinking of watching the second installment: Last 49 Days or watch a new movie. I should be watching My Perfect Stranger but I don’t feel like watching dramas today.

I should be preparing for my interview tomorrow: print out my resume, what to wear (I don’t have any closed shoes sandals. Should I just wear sneakers?), and my bag. I’m too lazy though. I’ll just try to stall some time.

[amazing-clicks]

A Simple Good Life ❣️

[dangoonoda]

初めてWordPressにメール投稿してみたが、自分の思うような改行ができてない。しかもクラシックエディターになってしまって、修正も上手にできない。Jatpackから修正しようと思ったら、カスタムHTMLです、とか表示されて、修正できないし。

メール投稿は、今後も要研究やな。

[peachypaginae]

Thu, Mar 21, 2024

blind date with a book, bought acomaf as if I'm not only 3/4 finished with acotar

pasta

skincare

journal and yarn

[filmnoirsbian]

I find your lack of whimsy disturbing

[teleconhaikus]

Very awkward when others crack a joke, and you don't laugh so others assume you did not get it but in reality it's just not funny to you and it registered but was not sufficiently clever enough to be seen as funny..

[karekul]

Wanted to use tumblr to bring back that life blog feeling as well. I have been enjoying french embroidery a lot as a destresser after work. I've completely fallen in love with the art. I'd like to log more of my journey with it when I have more time. I was learning basic stitches with a kit a bought on etsy. My experience I've learned for myself is I'm the kind of person that likes to go all out on an art so kits don't work for me. I should just really research thoroughly and purchase the necessary things. It's because I prefer a full experience of intensity instead of beginner level only things. It's nice to have a tutorial but I was not prepped with a beginner kit to explore it further. This lead to me spending much more than needed on things I end up replacing in the end. Kits are definitely helpful for some but not for myself.

[decapodiformes]

今日はForaminiferaが何か分からなくて調べ、初めて有孔虫という存在を知った。私は成人してだいぶ経つ大人なのにまだ知らないことだらけだ。子供の頃沖縄土産に星の砂の小瓶をもらって大層大事にしていたが、砂ではなくて有孔虫の、生き物の殻だったとは。なぜ星形の砂があるのかという疑問さえ持たなかったな…

[frankenfae]

It's weird, the more things change the more they stay the same in life. I was a child and I wanted friends and I got friends and I wanted to be left alone. The same is true in adulthood, I had to work hard and put myself through college and push to excel despite very little support and many disadvantages but I made it and was lonely and tried to make friends again and still was left underwhelmed.

Most the people I meet have very short memories which can feel weird to be a friend of when your memory is quite long. They retell the same stories again and again, they crack the same bad jokes that weren't funny the first dozen times you politely chuckled to them and now they wear thin and the amusement of company is lost so you put space once again. Most the people I meet seem truly obsessed with looks and I've never cared as much as others but I'm generally not unattractive and I'm aware that makes me fortunate in some spaces.. Regardless, it's always been more important to be clever and have a strong memories because every person who isn't that quick witted and has a very bad memory means I must suffer through countless terrible jokes and "do you get it? The joke is.." statements which are hard to live through infinitely. Eventually you just go oh fuck it, I'll take books and TV please where the character say something funny and don't explain the bad joke which is actually usually just stolen and their memory can't place it was stolen anyways but mine can and I can tell them sometimes even when they heard it because I was with them! It's exhausting to be that polite.. so I've decided it's better to be a bitch even if you're lonely and at least then you won't go insane trying your best not to offend the idiots and the dreary.