#life is short and so am i
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his therapist woulda had a field day at their next appointment
#my art#doodle#fanart#resident evil 8#ethan winters#i think its so funny that he has a journal in re8. not only does he have a journal but he illustrates it. i dont know if capcom intended to#imply that ethan stops every now and then to jot down the horrors and the hour that the horrors occur my guess is prolly not#but now its there and it makes me laugh. i shouldnt laugh at his mental health journey but i am anyways#shoutout to people who journal i wish i was you but instead i draw a guy feelin my emotions for me#but im so happy the sun goess away at 5pm. truly immaculate. i miss snow. but we stay chillin#i made more dear diary doodles but these were my favs n they went well together#i changed the entry in the 2nd one though cause i thought it was funnier to me this way#i cut my hair too short again im not even sad about it anymore like whatever man#at least its out of my way. and my shower was SO fast i got to stand there 5ever and it was still only like 15 minutes#fantastic. there are so many joys in life. theres twice as many horrors but the joys are definitely there and they are definitely joyful#anyways thats the post stay warm n cozy out there gang
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How short are you
i'm as short as everyone's life is.
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me: i got a busy day outside of my cave today, i don't have too much time to draw. let's just keep it simple today
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one hour and a half later:
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...
anyways
off to work for me
#fnaf moon#fnaf dca#dca fandom#crab art#bright colours#traditional art#New Do Same You AU#Moon New Do Same You AU#Sun New Do Same You AU#<- if you squint#i drew the thumbnail and i liked it too much to stop#thank goodness i woke up early this morning#Moon's grumpy because Clip is gaming in the living room and making a ruckus#or Moon's moon senses are mooning and he knows someone somewhere is not getting their moon prescribed 8 hours of sleep#or maybe i'm projecting how i feel waking up in the morning and seeing it's still dark outside#my goal in life#is to wake when the sun rises and to sleep when the sun sets#if the sun is done with the day then so am i#alas i live in Canada where the days in winter are short#hence i should be hibernating#but alas#i must work
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I find it deeply depressing that every adult in Spider's life had children, yet he was never anyone's priority. every adult he could and most likely attempted to match in to. the adults he remembered as the closest things he had to parents since birth (Jake and Norm, even if they weren't acting as his parents, because Spider, genuinely, would not know better). down to his actual foster family (the McCoskers). essentially went out of their way to de-prioritize him.
like I'm not faulting them for having kids, for having a family. but Spider was their first priority. he didn't need to be adopted by any of them, per say, but he was their responsibility. he was their orphan, Jake especially, considering he was the chief of his people, but Norm as well, seeing as he's a prominent figure head of the clan/Hellsgate.
the McCoskers took him in, but over the years, as they had their own children, he was more and more neglected. he was now no longer his actually appointed guardians priority. and that only gets worse and worse as he ages until they become outright abusive (Nash does anyway, cause thats what I'm gonna call violently kidnapping his, throwing him in a room and locking him there, and trying to kill all of them, him included, when they run away. as abuse. and I'll get back to the whole "you have to turn yourself in to the RDA" x2 speech from Jake in a second). they also didn't really accept his culture. with their resentment towards the Na'vi brewing, Spider most definitely faced some heat for being more of the forest than of humans, in terms of culture.
3 times over, Spider came first and was put last. put last by parents who know damn well how much love, time, care, and attention a child needs. who should be able to see when a kid is being neglected. who dialed to advocate and protect him from neglect (instead of calling him a stray).
he was a child and they were his advocates. all three parties failed in their duty as advocates, to protect Spider. to ensure he always had a loving home that made him their priority. that fulfilled all his needs, not just the physical ones. but all put their own families first, and abandoned Spider to the scraps of their love, time, and affection.
imagine being Spider, an orphan who can't even mention his birth parents and is always treated like he is the physical rebirth of his father's sins by half the people around him. every adult in your life has kids and seems like they're such a good parent. you watch their kids being loved and tended to and having a steady home. they receive love and affection constantly. but your fosters pay less and less attention to you as they have babies. and now your a stray to the man you look up to so much. and the man who probably taught you how to put an exopack on has less and less time for you. no one has time for you. you're no one's child. no one's priority. just a stray. a nuisance. and you don't truly belong anywhere.
no one was putting him first. children need to be someone's priority. psychology. they need it.
and then the RDA returns. the McCoskers leave, Spider is expected to leave everything he has ever known, to join the very people he hates and has been trying so hard since he could understand what it meant, to prove that he wasn't like them. Jake, the man he once looked up to, was telling him to leave. sending him away. stripping him of the little amount of family he could somewhatly claim, that being his siblings.
once again, Jake is his chief, should be looking out for him. not even as a father, per say, but as his duty to Spider as his chief. a chief should never be sending away his most vulnerable ward, a child he should consider his own (as all of his clans children should be one with his own children), to the opposing enemy force.
this happens again when they're running away, Jake tells him ever more directly to hide in the forest alone until the RDA stops shooting at everything that moves and then turn himself in so he can his own children could run. once again, putting him last, instead of protecting all of them.
then for a year, Spider has no family. no one. the McCoskers are gone and no one has stepped up to bat for him. he's 15/16 and alone. his the big sibling to the Sully's. those kids are all he has, but they aren't really looking out for him. he's looking out for them. cause he's the oldest. that's just how it is. he is one with the clan. lives with them. does chores. watches out for his siblings, the whole nine. but Jake isn't doing his duty of watching out for his ward. he is once again giving and giving and giving, and not receiving.
and then he is taken, he is taken, and while Jake may not have had the means to go back for Spider, or been able to take the risk of going back for him, he abandons him without a thought for his safety, and puts his children first. it's the language and attitude be poses towards the situation that is wild to me. he has every right to be worried about his children, but he could not spare Spider an ounce of concern, even knowing the danger he was in, and is more concerned about him spilling details then anything else. Spider is, once again, not his first, second, or even third priority. he is a means to an end. a necessary loss.
people only care about Spider when there's nothing else they can put before him.
#to put a long story short#I am upset that every adult in Spider's life could have and care for their own kids#but could not look out for Spider#not even saying that they needed to be his parents#but they abandoned him. every last one of them. and no one did anything to protect him.#no one made him a priority#individually. no party is directly guilty. but the fact that they all watched it happen and didn't do a thing. didn't even notice.#makes them all guilty of one thing or another in my mind#Spider didn't deserve to have every adult in his life dodge responsibility over him#I always thought Norms kids were adopted and it genuinely made me hate him since I read the comics. that he adopted kids but not Spider.#I am still mad. but less so.#its still frustrating that. but I get that raising bio Na'vi kids snd a human child would be rough.#I feel the same way about him that I do Jake#Spider was. even if he wasn't their adopted child. their responsibility first. before they had children.#seeing as there positions of power/having a human body/etc. made him his advocates and caretakers.#and they failed him when they chose to have their own kids and that became a catalyst for Spider being all but abandoned by them#because even with foster guardians. Spider need people looking out for him to make sure he was actually being taken care#avatar 2#avatar the way of water#spider socorro#miles spider socorro#miles socorro#avatar#avatar spider#spider avatar#I didn't include Max in this cause we don't know enough about what he had going on for me to comment.
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hot guard summer
#tog#the old guard#andromache of scythia#nile freeman#nicolo di genova#yusuf al kaysani#kaysanova#that's right!!! i might have kicked my art block!! hopefully!! let's not jinx it!!#siggy draws#alternatively titled: WHERE IS THE TRAILER#happy almost-summer!#director's commentary as always:#it's probably too small to see but the vespa has a little engraved name 'Destino' on it#not sure how i feel about joe's look but the poor guy is so hidden behind his husband's shoulders anyway#joe does have a poofy ponytail but it's hard to see#they're probably all chilling in italy between missions and that weird safehouse we have yet to see#nile is absolutely reaching for a gun tucked into the back of her shorts btw. not sure what the girls are looking at#andy is wearing nile's pants and nile is wearing nicky's 90s jacket (which is totally not my actual real life jacket)#you know that man would wear it ok#if the lighting seems a little loud or sloppy it's because i am inexperienced dsfgfds. also my first time attempting bi lighting sort of#i am sad that the lighting erased nicky's sunburned nose dfgfds. just know that it was very pink before#shoutout to my lovely friends who helped me figure out lighting/shadow stuff -- apple and wingodex and captainshakespeare#*damn it accidentally added an e on the end there#thank you for helping me navigate the digital art world beloveds <3#this took my entire day and all of ABBA Gold at least 10 times
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fallen
#KICKS OPEN THE DOOR. HIIIIIII IM BAAAAAACK. TWIRLS MY HAIR AND STARES UNBLINKINGLY AT U#okay so long story short i need to speedrun if i wanna draw ANY lore art this time#bc i go to NY w no computer for 2 weeks on thurs and i wont have nrainrot anymore after. so i need to draw FAST things#so yea. she um. she. died. sniffles. ngl i thought she was already dead from the prev update so this STUNG#the fuckign GRIEF the way lilia collapses down in mourning her loss. she falls to the humans. i am SICK it HURTS#silver was so devastated in 7.5 without even seeing the death firsthand and being like 'how could i ever be loved'#lilia looking at malleus. the future of the kingdom. the treasure of his two closest friends (loves?)#and is like 'how can i ever love him enough' and proceeds to spend A FIFTH OF HIS LIFE SEARCHING FOR A SOLUTION#dealing w prejudice from humans. kicked out of the army Disgraced. all while mourning. he keeps going out of LOVE#twst#twisted wonderland#lilia vanrouge#malleus draconia#hes an egg he counts#ch 7 spoilers#so yea blah blah blah im not as eloquent as u geniuses i will just draw a silly little dramatic art to capture my misery and move forward#suntails
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♥️
#dead plate#vincent charbonneau#rody lamoree#studio investigrave#fanart#i stumbled across a playthrough of this game months ago and i still think about it often lmao#it’s sorta like those short stories you read in high school that just stuck with you for life#anyway chat is vincent right or left handed?#looking back at the cgs he seems to be ambidextrous? or am i dumb#anyway he holds weapons in his left hand in most cgs so i decided for this drawing he’s a leftie 👌🏼
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TW: S/A topics ⚠️
so, I wanted to make a self-insert oc as this is my new comfort story, and that I feel represented, I had to !! I did two versions, a normal one and a "at work" one
meet: Yellow 💛
he is a friend of blue, and has also suffered from S/A.
Victaton has already clarified that blue is the only one man in the company, but this is just a silly self insert of mine for my own comfort, so it doesn't matter, both mutually support each other <3
#art#tw: sa#blue#gacha#gacha art#gacha community#gacha series#blue story#gacha oc#gacha life 2#gacha edit#see that purple mark?#it isn't there for nothing#notice the size difference#I am very short irl so my self insert also is#the reason of why it isn't purple is because in the story purple in designs represents that the person is bad#and you can easily tell by their look#ye#will do thingys with yellow as a way to vent and cope
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I write fragile on a dozen boxes salvaged from recycling I forgot to take out before I knew I was moving and my hand shakes even more each time. The lines bleed off the box corners and into me. I'm fragile, you see.
#poem#poetry#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#long story short i have made choices in my life such that my only option when i hit this present juncture#was to move home and i am not handling the lack of choice well#in my first year living here especially i bought beautiful fragile things because i love beautiful fragile things and because i thought#i was on the path that my next move would be my last one. i was going to buy a home and that would be it and i'd only need to pack up#my whole life once more and so i could justify the vintage vases and such. but the past couple of years have been brutal on me#and i've made choices that i stand by and choices that i don't and now i'm moving home and it's less than ideal but i'll make it work#perhaps this is short story long#anyway. before i first moved in my roommate texted me from home depot because she and her boyfriend were at home depot#and i was at work at the time. and she wanted to know what color i wanted my room because they were gonna paint my room that day#and i didn't have time to make a decision and she's an artist with a great eye so i sent her my pinterest decor board and said maybe a gree#like this kind of green? and she got this gorgeous green reminiscent of a paris green that looks amazing with all my art on the walls#but i just had to take the art down. i'm in the middle of the task actually. and now it's just this big green expanse#and i'm not feeling so good about leaving this place#but the way i felt so safe and so loved when i got that text and when i got here and saw that the room was painted bc they wanted me to sta#the past few years have been not so good in a lot of ways like i said but this place was an island of peace for me when things were rough#anyway. fragile. thanks for listening
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so assuming Avery is actually pregnant / doesn't early-trimester miscarry (which is not a given), there's two reasonable ways this can go, right. number one is she gets an abortion, the plotline is used to pull them all back together again, and they all have some collective hurt/comfort about it. number two, the one i would write - don't get me wrong, i'm all for women getting career-driven abortions, but hear me out - is the one where she does have the baby. under the cut bc it got long.
she goes to med school at first while pregnant - Max is right, it can be done, people in my cohort did it - and either gets lucky with the timing of the actual birth being during holidays, or just works her way to getting time off for a few weeks around it. And then... there's a baby. And you know what else there is? There's two dads (because we're 100% Mamma Mia-ing this bitch. they never find out who the bio dad is and they never seriously try. Baby comes out with Avery's exact skin tone so that's no clue.), and an entire cruise ship worth of backup babysitters. So Avery goes back to med school, and leaves the baby with Tristan and Max.
And, yes, raising a baby while also running an infirmary with a rotating cast of temporary substitute nurses filling Avery's role isn't the easiest thing they've ever done, but Robert loves fulfilling grandparent duties any time he's not on duty; Rosie gets one of those strap-on baby carriers and walks her (i don't know why i've decided the baby is a her but i have now) around the engine room pointing out parts and explaining concepts and hey, the baby never complains about her Michigan stories; Corey gets a cart and a bundle of clean sheets and pushes her down the corridors until the smell of laundry powder automatically makes her start laughing.
Max and Tristan make a pact to send Avery at least two photos a day - which ends up getting supplemented by everyone else who's with Baby - and FaceTime her most days, and whenever she gets a few days off she meets them in port. (The most expensive part of baby-raising ends up being her flights to wherever the Odyssey happens to be at the time, at least until Robert finds out and figures out a way to start paying her 'maternity leave', despite her insistence that the whole point of this is that she isn't maternity-leaving and he should probably be paying himself that and anyway, isn't she technically not an employee right now?)
And the thing is, during this time, Max and Tristan start... realising some things. Like how neither of them feel like they've lost their only partner, because they.. haven't. Like how the co-parenting's been working out better than either of them expected, because they fell instantly (minus a few minor bumps) into a shared rhythm. Like how sometimes they look at the other one holding Baby and feel like their heart's about to explode.
Also, they've both started sleeping in Max's bed. Because Baby's spent so much time sleeping in the corner of the infirmary that now if she wakes up at night and can't see both of them, she starts crying inconsolably. And obviously Max's suite is more suited to multiple inhabitants, and they're usually too damn exhausted to even remember the first time they were in this bed together.
(usually. most of the time. and when they're not, they don't make it the other's problem)
So at the end of the first year of this, the last two days of the year's last cruise have been packed with crisis after crisis after demanding patient after crisis, and as soon as they finally wave the last passenger off they hand Baby gratefully over to Robert and go crash out in Max's bed.
Avery was supposed to be meeting them on board tomorrow, but her last exam gets unexpectedly moved up by a day (believe me, med school loves to pull that kind of shit on you), so a couple hours after the passengers have gone, she shows up to surprise them. And finds Robert (a known ody3 shipper) first, who lets her take Baby with minimal captainly sulking about it, and while she rocks and kisses Baby, tells her (as a known ody3 shipper) that the two dads will be on the Pelican deck, but they're probably asleep.
Avery kinda frowns at him, but doesn't question it, and takes Baby up with her to Max's suite to find them. And they are both fast asleep, on either side of Max's bed with a space carefully preserved between them (because it's usually where Baby would be and they're both terrified of accidentally rolling onto her in the middle of the night). She's also exhausted after exams, so she crawls into it, lies on her back with Baby on top of her chest, and goes straight to sleep.
Tristan and Max wake up before her, and when they look across at each other, at Avery and Baby between them, they both simultaneously realise, oh. oh. oh, this - this three, two-and-half, four people, all together - this is it. this is the love, this is the children, this might even be the home - the second, third, fourth bucket list items to happen in this bed.
#there is a non-zero chance i will actually end up writing this fic. there are multiple scenes half-coalesced in my head#but in the meantime have this#Doctor Odyssey#Ody3#Quackers#Doctor Odyssey spoilers#mine#Avery Morgan#Tristan Silva#Max Bankman#i wanted to cry and hug tristan into oblivion watching the last scene#he fucked up with the 'sharing' stuff but my god he pulled it out for this#my writing#the other version of this i would love that's probably not going to happen is the one where there is no baby#but the abortion/miscarriage makes them both go 'fuck it life's too short for [insert reasons here]. yes avery let's do it'#and then they're all having sex with each other but outside of it tristan and max are only doing romantic stuff with avery#not each other. and both wind up feeling like something's missing and have a crisis that they made the wrong decision#until someone external (i'm thinking Robert for Max and a random polyam passenger he makes friends with for Tristan) actually interrogate#them on exactly what they're feeling and it makes them realise. hang on. whoops. turns out i might be more jealous of avery getting to kiss#tristan/max than i am of tristan/max kissing her. bc i'm actually fine and chill with avery doing whatever#because i know and trust that she's with us anyway. so jealousy might not be the right word at all and also. hm.
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Molly/Muffy from Harvest Moon of Seasonal Stories: A Wonderful Life (on Gamecube and Switch)
#sos awl#sos a wonderful life#molly#i really miss the prev names like.... muffy short for muffin and i love muffins#i just really miss my asshole guy over at the other farm named after a fish#he got renamed to another m name and im just why are you guys doing this to me#hi i cant buy new games and my pc wont play steam anymore so no more updated sdv until it hits switch in i think november#so thats kind of at a pause and now im playing other farming games i had#like sos awl and fomt#i am debating getting back to poot but ive enjoyed my nostalgia since i had this on gc ya know?#just? its a nice blast from the past
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today was a successful cat spotting (and petting) day
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these are just some of them there were too many
#this is a short path from the train station through the tiny town and to the port that should take about 15 minutes#but as soon as i get to the section that runs between the shore and a small forest i HAVE to stop and pet every single cat i encounter#and there are a LOT of them living there.#and i must pet every single one#basically what should be a 15min bike ride takes me about half an hour and i end up being late#because i’m SUPPOSED to set sail at like 10am but there are just too many kitties#and all of them are asking me to pet them with their eyes and their tiny little noses#so what else am i supposed to do#god i love cats#the best part about life is that sometimes there is a kitty#cat spotting#cats#kitties#stray cats#wild cats#i eat mold#my life#ig#i love sailing i love the sea and i love cats
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speaking of veilguard kind of going nowhere. i am so mad over there being no in depth epilogue. at least tell me what happens to the factions that are being led/guided by people rook influenced !!!!!! all these companions have obvious obligations outside of the veilguard, and they're all dedicated to the lives they lived before they joined this team, so of course they would go back. what effect did bellara deciding to keep the archive have on the elves? neve decides to protect dock town by any means necessary, so what does that mean for a blighted minrathous? everything to do with harding and the titans ????!!!! and solas just accepts being trapped because he's been 'outplayed' DO NOT MAKE ME LAUGH!!!! somebody has got to tell me what happens after the world gets 'saved' because the south in chaos, minrathous almost destroyed and the last of the elven gods being dead is like. crazy. and the companions just commenting things i already know is really not cutting it for me
#not even like. including the fact i thought the romances were primed to go worse#davrin + short warden lifespan + hesitation + guilt#lucanis + family obligation + first talon + long distance + dorian style 'i have to leave' speech#neve + cynicism + refusal to commit + unable to picture a life for herself that doesn't include losing loved ones#and how a rook's backstory would change that. a veil jumper who refuses to leave arlathan because their history means so much to them#clashing with davrin who barely thinks of himself as being dalish anymore#it was so clear to me. go girl give us nothing#i am being quite mean because there are things i adored in veilguard. especially with companion to companion relationships#neve-bellara i think is a good example of this. where you see them meet early and then continue to look out for each other#how blood of arlathan is kind of primed for you to take both of them which adds to this idea that they are close#so there can be good writing its just bogged down by a lot of other things. augh#dav spoilers#dav#dragon age spoilers#txt
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Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol.3 Mukami Ruki Stellaworth Tokuten Bromide & Short Story Paper
Originally, these were tokutens you'd get for buying Ruki's CD through the Stellaworth store. Nowadays you might find them sold at flea markets or second hand stores. The story is written from Ruki's POV, and takes place right after the ending of his CD, with him and Yui still on the rooftop.
Enjoy the angst (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)d
(Don't repost anywhere!)
#my ramblings are at the bottom of the tags this time for anyone interested dhdjfj#dialovers#diabolik lovers#diahell#ruki mukami#yui komori#ruki x yui#mb ruki x yui#more blood#short story#diabolik lovers official art#mine#this actually made me a bit sad ;_;#now that i think about it ruki's early stories are all more or less angsty#which checks out#the man himself basically says outright (in DF i think) that he didn't know what happiness felt like before he met and fell in love with Yu#and he also mentions (can't remember where exactly) that he used to wish he had simply died as a human#that he saw no real meaning in his “second life”#so yes. he was in a very dark place emotionally at the start of the franchise#which is why his later routes/CDs/stories warm my heart so dang much#just the difference in his outlook and demeanor aughh. fuck. the feels fffffgdgdg *cries*#i am so normal about this man#speaking of which...the upcoming rukiyui story (which will be posted on friday whoooo!) is so fucking good omg#definitely one of my new faves#so look forward to that on friday ((o(*^∇^*)o)) can't wait to share it!#oh and the 9 other stories as well ig sgdg#they're kind of already fading from my awareness though cuz they're not rukiyui :p
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Bait & Switch, pt. 7
<< Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 >>
Based on "I wasn't in that tunnel."
Call of Duty, soapghost // CW: angst, Hurt/Comfort, MWIII spoilers
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Soap flashes in and out of consciousness, his body trembling as he alternates between fever and chills. He's vaguely aware of when they pull into a garage, the already-dark night turning pitch black as the door closes behind them. Ghost gently pulls him from the car and Gaz and Price throw his arms over their shoulders as they half drag, half carry him into what looks to be a safe house kitchen. They lead him through the house and lay him on the softest bed he's felt in years.
He passes out immediately.
When he wakes, it's to the thin light of dawn creeping around the curtains and hushed voices behind him.
"Stop worryin'," Ghost says. "Gaz will be fine."
Soap has his back to the room, but from the closeness of Ghost's voice, he gathers that Ghost is in the bed with him. Price's gruff voice replies from somewhere on the far side of the room.
"He's been gone longer than expected."
"Because we weren't sure exactly when the contact would arrive. And without comms or phones, we're operatin' in the blind. He'll be alright."
Price grumbles. Soap shudders as a chill sweeps through him, and an involuntary whine escapes his lips. It's worth the embarrassment, though, when Ghost's warm body sidles up to curl around his back.
"Alright, Johnny?" Ghost murmurs.
"Cold. And hot. And... fuck. Just want this to be over."
"You and me, both. Gaz is working on getting you more saline bags. We grabbed what we could from the hospital, but you're about to run out."
"Wha' 'bout you?" Soap slurs as the heat of Ghost's body pulls him toward oblivion.
"Right as rain. Go back to sleep, yeah?"
Soap hums and drifts off again. The next time he wakes, it's to the scent of something savory wafting through the air. His stomach growls, and behind him, Ghost huffs a laugh.
"You awake or just gurglin' in your sleep?"
"'M awake," Soap mumbles, turning to face Ghost.
A long tube snakes out from under the covers, and Soap realizes Gaz must have returned with the saline bags while he was sleeping. He must've made a supply run as well.
"Any news?" he asks as he gingerly pushes himself up to lean against the headboard next to Ghost.
"Nothing worth mentionin'. We're here until Laswell thinks it's safe enough to move again. She's narrowin' down the possible traitor or traitors, but it's slow work."
Soap just nods as Ghost turns and hands him a bowl of rice and chicken covered in a mild sauce. Another growl from his stomach interrupts the quiet of the room, and Soap gladly tucks into the meal. When he finishes, Ghost takes the bowl and sets it off to the side.
"More?"
"No' right now."
A quiet permeates the space between them, but it's not uncomfortable. Ghost gingerly adjusts himself against the headboard, and then softly, quietly, he moves his hand to rest over Soap's on the mattress.
The touch shouldn't feel so mind-shattering. He's been sleeping in Ghost's arms for two days now and even kissed him. But something about the way Ghost's warm hand curls around Soap's feels like the most significant thing to happen to him since Makarov stole him away from the 141 and broke him.
The quiet lingers. Soap breathes through the pressure in his head and turns his hand, slotting their fingers together. The world slows to the faint beat of a pulse against his fingers and the rise and fall of Ghost's chest in his peripheral vision.
"Don't know what's goin' on in that head of yours," Ghost murmurs, "but I wanted to make sure you know... nowt's changed for me when it comes to you. If you feel different—"
"I don't," Soap interrupts. "Feel different, I mean. If anything, I'm probably gonna be a clingy bastard for a long while."
A pink tongue darts out to wet Ghost's lips. It strikes him then that Ghost isn't wearing a medical mask any more. Soap turns to study Ghost's profile, and Ghost nods, a small smile lifting the corners of his mouth.
"S'alright with me, Johnny. If we're bein' honest, I'd rather not let you out of my sight ever again."
Soap nods and leans over, resting his head on Ghost's shoulder. "Fine by me."
The soft pressure of lips against his shaved head is almost as good as the warmth of their fingers tangled together.
---
It takes a week to wean Soap off Makarov's drugs, but to his frustration, the withdrawal symptoms don't abait much: headaches, chills, irritability, and worst of all, hallucinations. They're mild — just blurs of motion in of the corner of his eyes or vague figures hovering in shadows — but it's enough to be dangerous, especially when they're being actively hunted. Luckily, Ghost is always there to reassure him. Gaz teases them about being attached at the hip, but he can see the underlying concern when Gaz looks at him.
They all look at him like that, though. Like he might disappear on them. It's fine, though, because Soap pretty much feels the same way about them.
He's still waiting to wake up in a pile of his own excrement and find that everything was a dream.
Ghost's wound is also improving day by day, and he's started mild exercises to keep up his strength. Soap joins him when he can, desperate to stay strong. Desperate to be able to fight.
He can't go back. He won't.
They have their own room, but in spite of Soap's bravery with their first and only kiss, he decides it's best to let Ghost take the lead any anything further, especially considering Ghost's wound. They curl up together each night, becoming more comfortable invading each others' spaces, but Ghost keeps his hands limited to the non-erogenous zones and his lips confined to soft kisses to Soap's head, forehead, or occasionally the corner of his mouth. Soap reminds himself of Ghost's words — that nothing has changed — and tries to be content.
The days pass slowly, and they're all going a bit stir crazy by the time Laswell wakes them before dawn and tells them to pack up. They obey without a word. The house is already clean — they've been treating it like an op where they could be called away at any moment, and it pays off. Within ten minutes, they've got their personal items packed, the fridge contents packed into a cooler, and as many surfaces as they can reach wiped down for finger prints. It won't stop a detailed search, but it will slow their enemies down if they find the place.
Ghost and Soap move as a unit, piling into the car in their previous positions. Gaz and Price swap out so Price can drive. Laswell continues to be closed lipped about everything from her spot in the passenger seat, and whether it's because she suspects listening devices or just doesn't think they need to know, he can feel the tension rolling off of her as she turns around and hands each of them a gun and several clips.
"I hope we won't run into trouble, but I'm not taking any chances. If we're separated, RV at these coordinates." She rattles off a series of numbers, and Soap repeats them in his head to solidify the information as Laswell continues, "And trust no one but each other. No old friends. No family members. Anyone outside this vehicle is suspect. Understood?"
"Yes, Ma'am," the three echo in unison.
Laswell nods, turns back around, and closes her door. The interior light switches off, leaving nothing but the dim light of the dashboard as a bastion against the darkness.
Soap stares at the soft glint on the barrel of the gun is in his hand.
His palm curls around the grip, finger placed carefully away from the trigger. His heart beats in his ears as the garage door opener grinds into motion, the slow dawning of morning light permeating the space.
The gun in his hand gains shape, hard lines mixed with gentle curves revealed by the growing light. A whisper of reflex, of ground-in instruction, urges him to flip off the safety, curl his finger over the trigger, and eliminate his targets.
He sucks in a hard gasp and shoves the gun at Ghost.
"C-c-c-annae have it. Not yet."
Ghost doesn't even blink as he leans forward and shoves the gun in the waistband of his trousers at the small of his back. "More for me. If somethin' happens, you stick to me like glue, right Johnny?"
Soap feels Gaz's eyes on him, but it's Price whose gaze collides with his in the rearview mirror. "Alright, Soap?"
"Y-yeah. Stick to Ghost."
It takes ten minutes for his hands to stop shaking.
---
<< Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 >>
#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#Call of Duty#COD MW reboot#bait & switch#OG Starlight#Johnny's not okay but Simon is gonna stick by him to the bitter end#whatever that might be 👀#Who am I kidding? I don't think I could write a sad ending to save my life.#Part 8 is almost written so it shouldn't be long#Keeping the chapters short has been good for more regular updates - lol
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atp i would snort reeve tuesti fic like cocaine.
if anyone knows any fics that put reeve through the blender like “Son” by She_sees_in_the_dark or “Through Another’s Eyes” by CorsairOriginal—
i need to see that man under enough pressure to make a diamond crack. For my health.
#reeve tuesti#ff7#ffvii#txt#nah if anyone’s got fic recs PLEASE slide them my way#even if you’re like ehhhhh it’s not exactly what OP was thinking#because i WAS NOT JOKING ABOUT SNORTING REEVE FIC LIKE COCAINE. ITS GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE IM CONSIDERING SYNTHESIZING MY OWN REEVE FIC#LIKE WISH DOT COM CRACK. ALIEXPRESS CRACK. THE KIND OF CRACK THAT MAKES YOU RECONSIDER YOUR LIFE CHOICES.#fluff is great and all mad respect to our confectioners in fandom#but i think i’d actually suck dick to feed the part of my brain that needs to see Reeve pushed to his limits#comedy is great too love me some comedy. but yeah i’m fiending for reeve fics and i don’t think that’s even an exaggeration.#*deep breath* SO IF ANY REEVE TUESTI FIC WRITERS ARE OUT THERE LISTENING#IVE GOT 50 BUCKS AN ENGINEERING DEGREE AND I WORK AS A FIRST RESPONDER.#hit me UP#stg ill answer any question you have abt those topics.#idk if i’ve made it clear how desperate i am for reeve fic#I’m writing some reeve fic myself but i’m not a particularly fast writer when it comes to fiction#OH#i can also draw! the pfp is my work but that was like a rly short thing#not exactly representative of my full abilities.#so if you want to see what some of my high effort work looks like hmu i do digital and traditional.#i’m dead serious abt all of the above. i’m kind of broke so i got maybe 50 $ a month to drop on this at most.#but everything else is a free resource baby.#hi you’ve made it to the end! thanks for reading my deranged tags#i’m clinically unwell about reeve tuesti.#anyways live laugh reeve!
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