#life is hard when you take your fanfic writing too seriously

[bored-butneverboring]

christening this sideblog with the companion art piece i did for my upcoming anxienn human au fic. UPcoming cuz i had the initial beta read done but haven't started the second draft LMAO

[pinkchrissysposts]

☆LAST POST,THE FINAL ADVICE☆

(Basically answers to asks I got)

Ok first thing first there is no one here to help you manifest,not the bloggers,not me, no one,if reading multiple post on same topic can't help you then why do expect bloggers to help you who are gonna give you same advice,they have been mentioning on their posts. It's not like they are writing about different things,every bloggers are telling you the same thing YOUR 4D/imagination is the true reality,you just have to PERSIST and be CONSISTENT. No like seriously I really feel like you guys are just lazy,why are you depend on bloggers,Im not saying that you can't ask for help and by help i mean understanding certain concept or doubts but you straight up ask to help you manifest or coaching don't do that until and unless they themself mention about being a coach,because see we have a life of our own too,we are God but also human who are busy in their life. Bloggers post this amazing posts talking about law and how beautiful it is. But y'all are so into the victim mindset,as if you are the only one suffering,which is correct YOU are the reason you are seeing the person taking away your sp,you are so into imagining yourself in a broke state and dwell in it,because you feel comfort in it,get a bit uncomfortable dear,you'll endup being comfortable.

You cannot just get comfortable when you are transfered in a new school,new class and the new environment,you first adjust,you go to the school everyday and get used to the new environment then you get comfortable isn't it guys. Manifesting is exactly like this you get in the state of having the desire,it feels uncomfortable,fake,delusional but the more you persist the more you get used to this feeling of knowing. It's not even necessary to be in the state a 24/7,because we are in different state all the time,just when you remember about the desire get in the state or do whatever fulfills you.

No amount of methods won't be useful if you are not even persisting and keep look for 3d validation. To sum up everything all you have to to is persist. Bloggers won't be there for you all the damn time,most of you want to manifest being independent but with a mindset of a dependent person,who are depend on other's for method and doesn't even persist in it then cries,and trauma dump on other's dm.

There is no use of DMing us too you know,we as bloggers are the one end up getting bored or annoyed,because I'm telling y'all legit leave another method and come up with a new one,I have about 50+ dms and asks asking me how to manifest or trauma dumping telling me how they aren't able to manifest,dear of course you won't be able to manifest if you keep looking for validation. I'm not saying that your circumstances aren't that bad,it's probably really hard for you but darling,everyone had faced this challenge,it's hard but learn to ignore the 3D even if it was right on your face. Be stubborn when it comes to manifesting,it took me alot of time as well to adapt that mindset,so I read alot of fanfics where reader gets whatever they want this really got me into the brat mindset,you can also find methods or ways that you help you feel fulfill,I don't care what method you are using JUST DO WHAT FULFILLS YOU NOT ME,I've got alot of asking if they should do or this,you know honey do what you believe is gonna work for you,I'm not the one using that method,i purposely don't even reply because I want you guys to try it out yourselves. That's what every bloggers did too,they learn to trust themselves and their imagination.

OK here, since most of you ask me to help manifest I'm challenging you,for the next two weeks,affirm robotically for your desire,lazy to affirm? You shouldn't be,because majority of you complain about not being able to get in a state and endup saying you'll affirm,then do exactly that.

Wavering? Keep affirming and persist.

Don't believe the affirmations? Keep affirming and persist.

Seeing the opposite? Keep affirming and persist.

Make those affirmation your dominant thought,you will know when it will become your dominant thought when it come up on it's own and you don't get effected by the negative thoughts.

But Chrissy some say affirmation don't work. SO? Keep affirming don't be a weakling just because it didn't work for them doesn't mean it will not work for you,you are not them,you are YOU ,they probably didn't even affirm enough or probably checked their 3D,there are many successful people who affirm Jennifer Lopez,Ice Spice and my fav Taylor Tookes despite being petite she still become a model and even walk on runway and now in cover magazines,if they can do it why can't you,they also affirmed right? Not gonna lie majority of the successful people who are into manifestation are into affirming.

Also log out of X and Tumblr,yes it can be motivating to see success stories or reading motivation but they are of no use,you might see a new post talking about a new method and end up leaving affirming and start following that method. Instead you should've scroll on tiktok,or youtube or making vision board while affirming,it's way easier to then wasting your time here reading posts on same topic written in different ways or perspective. So instead just log out and affirm and PERSIST.

If you are so stubborn about the fact that you can't manifest,then start being stubborn about the fact that you can manifest.

This is now my last post I will be logging out might come to check in sometimes happy manifesting🪷.

[butternutt613]

PSA!!! IT IS OKAY TO CHANGE YOUR STORY HALFWAY THROUGH OR TO NOT HAVE IT BE PERFECT!!!

Fanfic writers (myself included) are way too hard on ourselves sometimes. I was chatting with a few amazing creators on Discord about this, and I realized just how much pressure we put on ourselves to make everything perfect.

Let me remind you: it’s completely okay if your story isn’t flawless right out of the gate.

The way I see it, fanfics, and most things posted on AO3 or Wattpad are like first drafts. ESPECIALLY!!!!! when you’re still actively writing your story. You’re still figuring things out, shaping the narrative, and building the world. It’s not set in stone, and it’s okay to make changes as you go. Hell, completely rewrite it!

So many of us get caught up in trying to make our stories perfect from chapter one because we’re scared that if it’s not, no one will read it. I experience imposter syndrome so hard lol

But NEWSFLASH!!! Even published authors don’t create flawless stories from the start. Their first drafts are messy, full of edits, rewrites, and changes. Entire chapters get cut, characters get reworked, and sometimes entire backstories get scrapped. AND THEN!!! EVEN WHEN THEY THINK THEY ARE DONE!!! THEIR EDITORS GIVE THEM 39 THINGS TO CHANGE!!!

If that’s how the ‘pros’ do it, why are we holding ourselves to an impossible standard?

And I’m going to be so real with you right now… 99.99% of the time, the characters we write about aren’t even canon or have never even interacted in canon or only had 2.3 lines of dialog (I'm looking at you, Jegulus….)

That’s the magic of fanfiction. You get to create something ENTIRELY NEW. You get to take these characters and give them experiences and a life the og author never did or never could. Fanfiction is about imagination and creation, not about rigid rules.

There will always, ALWAYS, be someone who says "you're doing it wrong” or “that character wouldn't do that” and I'm sorry to break it to them but idk if you know this but… THEY AREN’T REAL!

If I want these two guy best friends to kiss, I will! If I want my MC to save Anne by perfecting Isadora’s magic, I will! If you want Ominis to say “fuck you” to his family or Sebastian to become a healer or an auror or a potions master, then GODDAMMIT YOU DO THAT!

BECAUSE YOU ARE WRITING YOUR STORY!! It is YOURS, not anyone else's. You’re the author. Your creative process is valid and so is your work, even if you decide to change direction halfway through. (Elsa was originally going to be evil…)

There will always be haters. Even when something is canon, there are people who’ll criticize it (seriously like look at flat earthers….) That’s why you can’t let the fear of criticism hold you back. Write what YOU love. Create what brings YOU joy. The right people will find your work and appreciate it for what it is.

At the end of the day, fanfiction is about expression and connection. Whether you’re writing for an audience of hundreds or just for yourself, it’s yours. You’re building a world, shaping characters, and sharing something that came from your heart. And that’s what makes it meaningful. So stop being so hard on yourself. Keep WRITING. Keep CREATING. KEEP COMING UP WITH FUN HEADCANONS!!!

Your story deserves to be told. And you deserve to have fun and love doing it.

*mic drop* *peace sign*

[pjo-tvs-version]

In honor of Annabeth Chase's birthday, I have written another fanfic. This one is based on @helpallthenamesaretakensblog 's post. It's another Annabeth POV because I just liked writing those. The title is from Taylor's Out of the Woods. Happy Reading!! :)

Your necklace hanging from my neck, the night we couldn’t quite forget

“Plans?” Hazel asked. “Nico has until sunset—at best. And this entire city is supposedly getting destroyed today.” I know that as a daughter of Athena I couldn't give in to the pleasure of ignorance. To escape from the harsh reality we were in. But Hazel saying the obvious out loud was definitely not helping my nerves.

Percy shook himself out of his daze. “You’re right. Annabeth…did you zero in on that spot from your bronze map?” Panic rose in me. I willed my eyes to convey this one message in bold: Remember what I said, buddy. Keep that dream to yourself. I have to answer the question nonetheless so I try to give as little information as possible. “Yes,” I say carefully. “It’s on the Tiber River. I think I can find it, but I should—” 

“Take me along,” Percy finished. What was seriously wrong with him today? I had tried to cajole him by giving so many logical reasons about why exactly he shouldn't be there. But knowing his irritating, endearing and loyal nature, he wasn't going to learn to accept this point easily. As bothersome it was, a small part of my heart was fluttering with happiness at his immense concern for me. Even though the odds of me surviving were… No Annabeth I chide myself, you will not think about this. So I decide to of course use the classic stare that overcomes any problem.

 “Yeah, you’re right.” I replied sprinkled with a deathly glare. “That’s not—” “Safe,” he supplied. “One demigod walking through Rome alone. I’ll go with you as far as the Tiber. We can use that letter of introduction, hopefully meet the river god Tiberinus. Maybe he can give you some help or advice. Then you can go on alone from there.”  Percy was making this impossible. I was finding it inevitable to leave everyone on Argo II as I went on to my death solo quest, but parting from Percy was going to be the hardest.

We had a silent staring contest, but Percy didn’t back down. Staring contests were better ways of dealing with a disagreement then words. It was far more expressive and impactful. But Percy didn't back down. As sweet as he was, his stubborn nature wasn't all that pleasing at times. He was making it hard to say goodbye. He was endangering his life once again for me when it wasn't required because the odds of me surviving were in negative. But as I stared into his eyes, there was determination. The same one I saw 3 years ago in Mt. Saint Helens. The same look on his face before I kissed him. I felt my gaze flicker.

“Fine,” I muttered, accepting defeat. “Hazel, now that we’re in Rome, do you think you can pinpoint Nico’s location?” Hazel blinked, as if coming out of a trance from watching our glare competition. “Um…hopefully, if I get close enough. I’ll have to walk around the city. Frank, would you come with me?” I could practically see Frank beaming. “Absolutely.” “And, uh…Leo,” Hazel added. “It might be a good idea if you came along too. The fish-centaurs said we’d need your help with something mechanical.” “Yeah,” Leo said, “no problem.” Frank’s smile turned into something more like Chrysaor’s mask. I was pretty good at reading people’s emotions so I could always feel the tension among those three. Ever since they’d gotten knocked into the Atlantic, they hadn’t acted quite the same. It wasn’t just the two guys competing for Hazel. It was like the three of them were locked together, acting out some kind of murder mystery, but they hadn’t yet discovered which of them was the victim. 

Piper drew her knife and set it on the rail. “Jason and I can watch the ship for now. I’ll see what Katoptris can show me. But, Hazel, if you guys get a fix on Nico’s location, don’t go in there by yourselves. Come back and get us. It’ll take all of us to fight the giants.” I knew she wasn't stating the most obvious fact that we had no god on our side so this was kind of a one sided battle. As much I craved for victory, I couldn’t help but go through the never ending list of reasons why we were never winning this battle. Think positive Annabeth, a little optimism couldn’t hurt right?

“Good idea,” Percy said. “How about we plan to meet back here at…what?” “Three this afternoon?” Jason suggested. “That’s probably the latest we could rendezvous and still hope to fight the giants and save Nico. If something happens to change the plan, try to send an Iris message.” The others nodded in agreement, but I could feel their gaze fall on me. At once I felt guilty of not telling them the whole creepy truth. That I would die most probably from facing the ultimate fear of every Athena child. I would have to face Ar-. Let’s not think about it.

I would be on a different schedule. I might be back at three, or much later, or never. But I would do whatever I can to find the Athena Parthenos. Coach Hedge grunted. “That’ll give me time to eat the coconuts—I mean dig the coconuts out of our hull. Percy, Annabeth…I don’t like you two going off on your own. Just remember: behave. If I hear about any funny business, I will ground you until the Styx freezes over.” Unwillingly, I felt myself flush. It was just one night of privacy in which we unfortunately just slept ( and had a few good kisses). However, the idea of getting grounded when we were about to risk their lives was so ridiculous, that I couldn’t help smiling. “We’ll be back soon,” Percy promised. I try to look at each of them and shake the dreadful feeling that this will be the last time I would see them together.

I headed down to my cabin to check and recheck my shoulder bag. Ambrosia, nectar, flashlight, matchboxes (it was something my father suggested), 2 bottles of water, a sandwich, drachmas and then came across a picture of me and Percy. It was a photo of us after we had started dating, one which Sally clicked. 

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. From the rhythm, I knew who the intruder/visitor was. “May I come in Wise Girl?” “ No you can’t” I reply, laced with sarcasm. The handle clicks open and I see Percy fidget more than usual with his hands. “I wanted to check on you” there was a pause and then, “wanted to make sure you were alright and ready for…” He didn’t complete his sentence. 

“Yeah, yeah I'm ready. I have checked, rechecked and checked again.” I replied. “You do remember to keep Ambrosia and Nectar right? And drachmas and first aid and-” “Yeah Seaweed Brain! Chill.” He was so concerned and anxious that I felt bad for him. But he needed to understand that he had to let go as there was no option B. If he went then Arch- no I would call her a Web-Weaving Wannabe. So if he went with me, she would most probably use him as bait and make my emotions go haywire and then I would make mistakes, fail to save Greece, fail to save the world-“Okay cool. So are you ready to go? The others are about to leave.” Percy says, interrupting my thoughts. “Yeah, let's go” I replied. 

“Before that I wanted to give you something.” Percy adds with a note of jitteriness. His fidgeting had increased. So of course my anxiety being directly proportional started going overboard too. He reached behind his neck, for his camp necklace. It puzzled me. Why is he taking off his camp necklace? And then it came crashing on me. 5 years ago, the duel on the beach with Ares, the good old days where their chances of dying were lesser. Percy was giving his necklace to me? As I was going to my death battle the same way Percy did 5 years ago? He was doing the same thing I did. 

A wave of euphoria washed over me. My heart felt like it could burst with happiness. He really was such a Seaweed Brain.  My cute Seaweed Brain who couldn't stand seeing anyone in trouble. He took a few steps forward and I could see the matching blush on his cheeks. He tied it around my neck and I couldn’t help but beam. “Wear this, for good luck. It saved my life when I dueled with Ares and everything after that too. I know it’ll help you too. "he said as he finished the knot. He then held my hand a little tighter than usual. I couldn't help but hug him fiercely. 

I took in his inky mess of hair, the sadness in his sea green eyes which mirrored the stormy sea, the smile that played on his lips for a moment and  then dissolved like a wave on the shore. I couldn’t help but lean for a kiss. A kiss that lingered, a desperate attempt to hold onto what was slipping away. A goodbye kiss, laced with unspoken tears. A heartbreaking kiss, a silent plea for a different ending. “I’ll make it out. You’ll be alright.” I try to reassure him. He doesn't reply but everything he wanted to say was there in his eyes.

____________________________________________

As, me and Percy climbed down the cliff, I concentrated on the challenges at hand: keeping my footing, avoiding rockslides that would alert the Empousai to their presence and of course making sure we didn’t plummet to our deaths. About halfway down the precipice, I got breathless. My legs were wobbling badly,  my ankle screaming in protest with each step.

Tartarus was sapping my non-existent strength left. ‘Stop, okay? Just a quick break.’ Percy looked beyond worried. I felt so guilty about burdening him even more. We sat together on a ledge next to a roaring fiery waterfall. The splinters were shooting, threatening to burn us, the sulphurous was becoming suffocating with each breath. My ankle was beyond pain. A wave of nausea washed over me as the cramping pain intensified.

Percy put his arm around me, and I couldn’t help but lean against him, shaking from exhaustion. A hug like a warm blanket, safe and secure. It was a comforting embrace that melted all my worries even if it was for a few seconds. I pulled away from the momentary solace to get a look at him.

He wasn’t much better. He buried his face in my chest, his dark curls cascading down his arms in a curtain of pain. He fell into this dreadful place because of me. To save me, to not leave me alone. We would find a way out of Tartarus. We had to. 

Subconsciously my fingers traced a red coral necklace, the one Percy gave me. At once I felt Percy’s camp necklace. I removed my other hand with which I was holding Percy close. As I undid the knot, Percy looked at my slightly puzzled and there pain etched on his pain even as he tried to hide it. As I started to try my necklace around his neck, he stopped me. “Keep it, you need to make it out of here.” 

“WE need to make it out of here, especially you! So let’s do one thing since we both need good luck, let me give you mine.”  I looped the necklace over his head and let it rest against his skin. 

His lips were parched and his skin felt warm against mine. The firewater was churning in my stomach. “Promise that we’ll have each other's backs. We’ll make it out.” Percy declared with determination. I couldn’t help a melancholic smile. “I pinky promise. That’s the more solemn vow there is.” I add. A short, bitter laugh escapes his lips before our lips meet. My hands were in his jet black hair and our eyelids shut tight to shield us from the awful surroundings. We will make it out of here, I try to tell myself. Even if I don’t Percy will and there is no option B.

Also on AO3 here

So that's it! Hope you all liked it. As always, positive criticism is highly appreciated. Thank you Help for the lovely head cannon. Also there is this one line in the from the movie Wonka which Willy tells Noodle. Let's see if you can find it 👀

[a-random-weeb]

BSD men x reader sick headcannons

im sick as well as my friend so fml I'm writing this

Warnings: le sick, this is kind of self indulgent in a way but at the same time your sick so... you have the right while your sick.

Autre warnings: this is my first fic, it's probably gonna suck ;-;

also soup is the food of the gods in this for some reason

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dazai:

•he bursts out laughing at first, making fun of you (in a friendly way)

•Once he's done with his laughing fit, he does (try to) take care of you

•ok he's not the worst at taking care of people, but I feel like the worst part would be him making fun of you

•he won't let you go to work/school (if you're a student like in highschool pretend you're older), just because he's laughing at you, doesn't mean he doesn't care.

•he'd cuddle you, then end up getting sick, then you take care if him and cuddle him, then you get sick and so on until one of you realizes you can't cuddle (aka you, and he complains. This is the same for Nikolai)

•he pisses you off, but he loves you

"how did you get sick?!" He laughs as he hands you a bowl of soup, as you lie in the silky sheets of your shared bed with the worst cold of your life. You shoot him a glare as you take the soup in your shaking hands, making sure not to drop it.

"I already told you, my coworker got me sick!" You begin to eat your soup, frustrated and pissed. He plants a kiss on your forehead

"I'll call your work and tell them you're taking the day off!" He skips to the other room. You lie there, thankful for your lovely boyfriend.

(I don't simp for dazai so it was hard to write for him. This is my first fanfic EVER, be quiet. I only put dazai at the top for a friend.)

˖♡︎˖˚♡˚˖♡︎˖˚♡˚˖♡︎˖˚♡˚˖♡︎˖˚♡˚˖♡︎˖˚♡˚˖♡︎˖˚♡˚˖♡︎˖˚♡˚˖♡︎˖

Chuuya:

•He's easy to anger, so when you get sick, he knows you probably did something stupid to get yourself sick.

•Unlike Dazai, he's a good cook, but still he makes you soup, and angrily holds it out to you.

•he takes care of you, but acts angry the whole time. I say acts, but he really is angry, but he also cares about you. But is still angry.

•he's not Bakugou level angry, he's still calm(ish)

•he does verbally abuse you the whole time though.

•But it's not actually abuse. I feel like he just calls you dumbass and idiot.

•he's very forceful with everything he does ("eat! Or I'll force feed you!") ←(this is my fav head cannon for him, he would)

•He cuddles you, but somehow this man does not get sick, until he does, then you take care of him, but he doesn't let you touch him while taking care of him so the same thing that happened with dazai doesn't happen with you. There will be no cycle.

•He also buys you a lot of expensive medicine

•you piss him off, but so does everything

"You idiot! How the hell did you get yourself sick?!" He hands the bowl soup to you.

"I was playing in the rain with a cat." You give him an innocent look as he shoots you a glare.

"Why?! You knew it would get you sick!"

"but... there was puddles... and a cat who liked water..."

Chuuya facepalms. "Seriously?!" He sighs, calming himself down. He sits next to you on the bed as you eat your soup. He's rich, and I feel like you begged him to buy a tv for he bedroom. You guys watch my hero academia. Even though I said he cuddles you while sick, I don't think he'd actually unless you cling to him, then he'll let you sometimes. But he just sits on the other side of the bed as you watch anime together, and pass out in eachothers presence.

(I cringed at this one, it wasn't as good as I hoped. I made him a tiny bit ooc too ;-; idk I feel like it's good for a first time.)

✧.𖥔 ݁ ˖𖦹⭒°｡⋆✧˖°.✧˖°.✧˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖𖦹⭒°｡⋆°.✧˖°.✧˖°..𖥔 ݁ ˖𖦹⭒°｡⋆

Kunikida:

•He's nicer than the rest of them

•He's the only decently normal one of the boys.

•he makes you soup and blah blah blah

•He doesn't cuddle you, he has common sense

•You don't want to get him sick either, so....

•He buys you medicine, he knows the best kinds

(I couldn't think of a scenario. Sorry)

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Akutagawa:

•Has no idea what to do

•He thinks you're gonna die so he makes this whole dramatic speech

•All you have is a common cold 😭

•after he figures out you're not gonna die, he asks what he can do

•He goes to the store to buy you medicine

•He doesn't know what else to do

•you tell him it's fine and all you need is a few days off of work

•He feels too bad, so he goes on one of those weird websites

•Next thing you know he comes in a skateboard and circling around you, chanting these weird, demonic words 😭

•"Wa bubu shaaaaaa qut epeu turu!"

"Aku wth are you doing?!"

"Curing your sick"

𓍢ִ໋✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚♡✧˖°~��⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚𓍢ִ໋✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚♡✧˖°~∆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚𓍢ִ໋

I too lazy to write for anyone else, this is a quick drabble and my first fanfic. I hope you liked it!

[choicesfandomappreciation]

Choices Fandom Shout Out

Sorry 🥺 I wish I was more active on tumblr and not busy with stressful real life. I miss talking with you. Or even interacting. I haven't forgotten you...

@dutifullynuttywitch Lucifer's Angel Girlie, Mal's elf and Cal's fairy lady. My bestie!!! Sorry, I wish I was more active on tumblr and not busy with real life. I miss talking with you. Or even interacting. I haven't forgotten you. I'm glad we met when I found out you were new in the fandom, I immediately had to give tips, introduce myself and the fandom to you. You're so lovely.

@bri1234 My fairy wonderful who always supports me fairy much. And ahhh, we have the same taste in Choices Books, Aesthetics, Fantasy, Fairy and Love Interests. We are so alike.

@infactnoimmasitinthemiddle I miss you soooooo much, my Nik Ryder lover friend and biggest supporter. When will you return? Come back!!! Our favorite nighthunter needs us. Been writing fanfics and wondering how you might find them. You motivate me. I hope you're doing well. Take care, study hard, drink water <3

@artbyalz I miss you and your wonderful art. Aerin misses you too and will return soon in BOLAS 3 this year. I miss you. You're always so giving, so generous and I'm a huge fan of your art. So beautiful. I'm glad we met and became close friends, ma copine. When you were new, I introduced myself and welcomed you in the Fandom.

@pilitella My gorgeous, new friend. I know you're no longer active in Choices but I really like you. You're so sweet and it's so cute to chat with you. Damien Nazario <3

@lilyoffandoms my first huge supporter and first member in my fanfic tag list (I think). You support everyone in the fandom, make beautiful art and I enjoy your writing. When I met you new I was always shocked how much you write in a day and if that was possible. Keep going, fandom supporter.

@tessa-liam , your Royal Highness, Queen of Cordonia and new best friend of the Lady of Lamrian. I don't know how we met or how you find me, but I'm glad you did. Or did I found you?? Whatever. You're always the first reader in my fanfics and never muss them. Thanks for suppoting me.

@mikaelsrose I absolutely know that you are no longer in the Choices fandom except for Blades of Light & Shadows. May I say that I miss talking with you? But I'm pretty sure we'll talk more again, just give me time with Romance Club to catch up, okay? Haha. You're super talented, Vee. And funny, lol. Keep going. I admire you, vee vee

@secretaryunpaid The always supporter who always supports others and creates beautiful edits. Like gorgeous edits. Like wow... Thanks for the edits you gifted me so far and always reblogging my writing. I hope you enjoy. Thanks.

@embarrassingsmartphonegame I know we never met and never talked, but you're my number 1 Nightbound writer. Because of you and your Leah Mendoza, I started writing for our favorite book and loving Nik and the Nightbound book even more. If you ever come back, kniw that there are still readers like me who are waiting for your fanfics. If you ever return. Thanks for what you did before and your fanfics.

@hopelessromantic1352 You seriously didn't thought I would forget you, friend. Hah, I didn't. How are your horses doing? I miss you, your fanfics and your Lexie. When do I get to read more of Lexie & Nik?

@american-duchess Less active in the fandom? So what? Here, get a hug, hot chocolate and a lot appreciation. You deserve it and thanks for being just here. I like talking with you, friend. Drake too.

@peonierose Wasn't green your favorite color first? Well, who cares. We all love pink. Pink, Sparkle, Fairy, Glitter, Kittens, Unicorns, Rainbow... Aaaahh, so cute!! Summer and Bryce are your favorite words too. What's the next adventure of Bryce and Luna? And will Gretel and Hansel return?

@choiceschatter You're so lovely, kind and really support me. Thanks for recommending me RC and I hope we will talk more. Life is too busy. Have a hug.

@mozartholvdehwk Study hard, friend. I miss you. I hope you will return back in our small fandom and gush with me again

@harleybeaumont My Birthday Twin!!! How are you? I hope you and Maxwell Beaumont are doing squid-tastic. You deserve happiness and all good things in the world

@jerzwriter I love your blog style and Aesthetics sooo much. Like sooo pretty and very seasonal. You're so friendly and supportive to everyone. Thank you for you Services and events on cfwc

@liaromancewriter Thank you for being so friendly and lovely to me. I always wonder why people even interact with me, lol. And biggest thank for taking over the cfwc and keeping it alive with hard work.

@zoeywades-spouse I just heard your wife, Zoey Wade saying that she misses you very much and so do I, bestie. You're very pleasant and fun to talk with. And yes, it's always missing old Angel Dino time here.

@mxdanni My lovely friend and supporter whose very old Nightbound fanfics inspired me to write my own. I have build my own World because of the old, fellow Choices fandom members who I thank very much.

@cadybear420 Eeeekkk, hello. You're such a wonderful and nice person to talk with. Sorry, I wish we would have talked more but life gets busy. But still, you're awesome. And I miss High School Story Original too

@storyofmychoices , thank you for holding the fandom together, running the book club, using the choices community Blog and hosting Events. You make it a fun place

@cashweasel Thanks for your great art and spreading it all across the fandoms. I still like the art you created for me once. Pretty

@angelasscribbles You're wonderful and I'm thankful to have you in our little fandom. Such a lovely person you are. King Liam is so lucky to have you.

@jdstar88 In honor of Choices Fandom Appreciation may I shout out how awesome you and your @thedistantshoresproject is. Jamie, you're passionate of what you love and very friendly. Thanks for your Support. Can't wait for your DS Game and your own Nightbound×Heaven's Secret crossover

Thanking the mod of @bloodboundsiege for creating the game for us. I can't wait and am so excited. Also, love your fashion sense

@korgbelmont Thanks for supporting the fandom, being part of it and serving us with transparents. It's completely understandable. Do whatever you wish and enjoy. Besides... I don't know anyone who uses transparent of the newer books to create something. Old Choices Classics are the best. And I like your genre taste too

@rosesnink Thank you for interacting with me. You're such a lovely person. I don't know what interested you in me, but still... Thanks. And thanks for making me love Desire & Decorum love more. And I want more Ernest Sinclaire time. One of the best.

@musicallisto You may be no longer active in Choices fandom and that's understand. But it doesn't stop me either to shower everyone (Fandom member or not) with appreciation and love. Also, my Desire & Decorum Main Character has the same name like you, Clara. Clara & Ernest = Clarnest. I love still reading your old fics

@clansayeed Thank you for everything and your wonderful Bound by Obliv. Series. Srry

@stars-are-within-me Thanks for your wonderful art gift. I wish we had interacted more before you left the fandom

@thosehallowedhalls I miss you. Thanks for the wonderful time we had in the fandom

💛

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Hi there! New follower here, and can I just say I LOVE how you write König? Like seriously, thank you SOOOOO much for not writing him like a soulless monster or something like I normally see when I look in the tags (I kid you not, I saw someone ask for a r@pist König fanfic not too long ago and it put me off him for a short while). Sure you write him crazy but you don't go that far. Thank you for that.

That being said, how would your interpretation of König handle a reader who has a history like that? Like maybe they were abused in that way as a child or a teen? They're in therapy of course and handle the trauma as best they can but they have that sort of fear of intimacy still, if that makes sense? Maybe they're still battling guilt/self blame, and feel like he could do better with someone who isn't "damaged goods" or something?

Sorry if it's bothersome but I'm very curious! Thank you, and I really hope you have a wonderful day! 💙🌹

Hey dear anon, welcome and thank you so much! 🩷💕

I can understand wanting to read dubcon and noncon at times, it’s all good and hey, to each their own! I can also understand the need to steer clear from these kind of fics (please, always take care of yourself and don’t expose yourself to content you don't vibe with 🩷) and I’m so glad to hear you like the way I write for König. I definitely love monsters with souls! Perhaps it tells something that everytime I *really try* to write a dark fic, I usually get comments like “weee so fluffy and cute!” :D Like did we win…?

As to your question on how would König handle reader with background of abuse:

König is not the most nurturing, tactful man but upon hearing about your past, he’d get super caring and tender. He has this fantasy of being a saving/conquering hero so, yeah, you just became his damsel in distress. To him, you're both a strong survivor and a fragile victim, so you gain something of a saint status in his eyes.

And he would never ever think you’re damaged goods, no. To him, you’re the purest of angels whose soul and body has been ravaged. For this alone, he’ll go to war for you, against the whole world if need be.

Violence is his way to deal with life’s big problems, so he’d want to hunt down and kill the perpetrator if they’re still alive, no question about it. He’d be willing to commit a good old murder and risk going to prison because he couldn’t stand it that this human filth is walking around unpunished. That’s his first way of dealing with this thing: eliminate the threat, then come and comfort you.

So… If you don’t want him to do that (either because you don’t agree with him about the measure of punishment, or because you’re afraid he’ll get caught/will face a prison senctence because of it), you’d have to get super crafty with trying to conceal who this person is because König is going to find out who they are whether you want it or not. He’d have such a hard time respecting your boundaries in this because someone has to avenge you. He has contacts and he can and will use them to get to this fucker and end their life.

Homicide aside, he’ll get overprotective of you. Has to have you in his line of sight at all times to make sure you’re safe and happy and ok.

Sex might be a challenge because König has a high sex drive. He adores you and would want nothing more than to be with you – preferably inside you – 24/7. This is how he worships you, shows love & intimacy and releases both of your stress. If sex is off the table sometimes, König would try to show his love for you in other ways such as cuddling you like crazy or accompanying you to the shower etc.

Any issues with intimacy would trigger his anxiety and fear of abandonment, and he’d get even more obsessive and clingy. Not in a whiny, co-dependent way, but in a “Everything alright, Schatz?” repeated 5 times a day type of way. König would nod and look like he understands completely when you tell him that you have these issues, but then proceeds to cuddle and smother you later anyway :/

Somehow thinks it’s his dick that might be a threat so he would try and not to flail it around you unless you specifically ask for it. Respects your boundaries on not having intercourse, but the other stuff, like squishing you against his chest every now and then or trying to please you with his hands or mouth are harder to negotiate.

Because he would try his all to give you mindblowing sex. He wants go give you good experiences, and gets a high out of making you cum multiple times. To him it’s like a hot bath, a three course meal and a year in therapy combined, to watch how you come undone. He's unusually gentle with his aftercare, and drowns you in praise when he holds you close.

Perhaps it’s a bit sick, but the fact that you both have suffered in your own ways makes you his one true love, sort of like a fated companion. In his mind, you’re soulmates who’ve gone through hell. He's also vehement in his belief that only he can love you whole again, only he can treat you right.

So the question then becomes, how do you survive an adoring, obsessive giant who’s made it his life’s purpose to make you happy? ❤️

[m2jay]

Soul Touch [Ford x OC]

Here's a little preview of what's in the story. Thanks to the release of "The Book of Bill" and the dating sim game "Swooning Over Stans," I think it was time for me to contribute to the Gravity Falls fandom and write a fanfic. Here's a part of it:

◬◬Bill's POV◬◬

"A X O L O T L! My time has come to burn! I invoke the ancient power that I may return."

        To think that using the last of my powers in Stanley's mind would lead me to this. That damn con artist is really going to get it this time. As I invoked the strength I had left inside, I managed to survive within the cosmos life other deities are able to do. Banished to a realm amongst the stars, I was met with the AXOLOTL. Though soothing of a presence, it's not my style.

        I crave chaos and destruction, one that leaves me with a good laugh. Seeing the terror amongst humans is absolutely amusing, and it's fun to see how far they'll go for their own selfish desires. They live in a meaningless way. There's nothing good about the world they fight so hard to go on in. Why do they fight so hard for a life that just ultimately has so much struggle in the end? Having infinite power is where it's really at. They're all too stupid to understand.

        The party had stopped. Time was dead and meaning had no meaning. Existence was upside-down and I reigned supreme briefly. I had it all. 

        Everything was in my grasp, even ol' Fordsy too. The fact that I was outsmarted by his lesser half is an absolute embarrassment to my existence. It's not fair, and I will get him back, along with the whole damn Pines family. They will get what's coming to them once I get out.

        I've been locked away in Theraprism in Dimension #5150. It's a neutral zone that's outside of time. If I were stronger, I'd have destroyed this useless place. I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not in order to get out of here.

        I had many crimes against reality against me. I've done memory laundering, breaking and entering the fabric of space-time, chrono-infanti-regicide, multilevel  marketing, psychic torture, the "2nd-Dimension Incident," and Weirdmageddon. Personally, I don't think this is all that bad to keep me locked up in one of the highest wellness centers of space and time.

        People don't change, not even GODS. Wanna know how to get out of a mental ward, kid? It's faking it. You tell them what they want to hear. You mask everything. Don't be your true self. Trust no one.

        My power isn't as strong as the AXOLOTL, but I still got it. I've managed to fabricate a book that will go out into the Pine's family's dimension. I call it "The Book of Bill." Pretty clever, right? It's pretty impressive if I do say so myself.

        If anything, of all gods, why am I here? Isn't there some Christian entity or something that went against the God or whatever. If anything, why not blame all my atrocities on that guy, huh? Don't a lot of people do that anyways to get away with things? I mean seriously, I'm not the embodiment of bad itself or anything. Let's blame it on that Satan guy. There's so many dimensional timelines, I can't be the ONLY BEING THIS BAD HERE! 

        I can't lose my cool completely here. Heck, not even at all. I need to keep up the façade in order to get out. That's right, and I'll be out here soon. I just know it. My all-seeing eye is still capable of looking through the abundant paths people can take. I see the last opportunity and will take it for myself. 

        Sixer, you're in for something that cannot be fixed. I'll make sure you regret not taking my hand to rule dimensions and travel across galaxies at my side. When I get my hands on you again, I will turn you back into a gold statue that'll be erected onto my record player, forever in a musical dance that spins. You'll be sorry.

        As for your good for nothing brother, there's an end for him that I am counting on. Just you wait, Stanley. Punching my eye and breaking my body in the mind space will be the last time you'll ever lay your mortal hands on me.

        I need to smear my mind blank. The SEA ANGEL of the Theraprism is here. Oh, how she's easy to manipulate. I guess it's why you can consider the gal an angel. It's a shame for her, really, because she's so easy to manipulate. The way she thinks I'm actually changing is HILARIOUS! What a shame for them for when their time comes. They'll all see.

        "Bill Cipher, good stars!" The dim-witted SEA ANGEL greeted happily.

        "Yes, good stars! Haha.." I greeted. 'Haha..'

☪︎ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･❂

Links to the fanfics will be listed here so far:

Wattpad

Quotev

[eyitzme]

ᵘⁿˡᵘᶜᵏʸ ᶜʰᵃʳᵐˢ ;; ᵏᵃⁱᵐᵒⁿ ⁽ᵖ:ᵉᵍ⁾

Summary: Getting Damon Maitsu and Kai Monteago as godparents has made Toshiko Kayura’s life easier to an extent. After so much time together, she’s gotten used to them and expects to wake up and know they’re both there to help her when she needs it. However, that changes when Damon decides to resign from being a godparent, causing a rift between him and Kai. After a misadventure with Tozu, Toshiko decides that even if Damon will no longer be her godparent, she needs to fix Damon and Kai’s relationship before it’s too late! And maybe get Damon back as her godparent. That’s not too much to ask for, right? Word Count: 11,571 Warning: Slight Spoilers (Chapter 1 references) A/N: Did anyone ask for a Kaimon Fairly OddParents AU? No, but have one anyway. In case anyone wants to hear me ramble about how I got this idea, I was watching WeebyNewz’s P:EG Chapter 1 livestream a while ago, and the chat exploded with Wicked references when Damon and Kai were going to be roommates. A Kaimon Wicked AU would be cool, but I know nothing about Wicked other than the drama, the fact it has a music and a book, the fact it's a Wizard of Oz fanfic, how it has green and pink lesbians, the bad promotions, and something about holding space for Defying Gravity or whatever the song’s called. Fortunately, I remember another popular green-pink duo after thinking of how the marketing team tried to say everything pink and green was Wicked but Cosmo and Wanda already got there first, but this ended up straying a lot farther from Cosmo and Wanda than I wanted. Still, since you’re here, take a Kaimon Fairly OddParents AU, featuring Toshiko as Timmy since she’s the youngest so it felt right to give her that role (I haven't watched the remake so I don’t know anything about Wanda and Cosmo’s new godchild). By the way, if you see something that’s inaccurate to the actual Fairly OddParents lore, just ignore it. We’re here for a fun time so don’t think too hard about it. Also, Toshiko’s age isn’t clear because I wasn’t writing this with a clear age in mind for her. You can keep thinking of her as 14 or youngre (older than however old a third-grader is, though, because her blackmail is mentioned). Doesn't really matter. Don't forget your daily clicks!

i’ll do my best to fix this!

It wasn’t as if Toshiko Kayura was wishing and praying for godparents every day for years. She didn’t even know they existed. After another horrible day of not being taken seriously with the threat of the worst babysitter in the world coming later, Toshiko was sulking in her bedroom when she noticed the Magic 9-Ball she received from a past client. She wanted to get her anger out and threw the Magic 9-Ball, but after it hit the walls, two fairies she would later learn were named Damon Maitsu and Kai Monteago appeared. They claimed to be her godparents who could grant her any wish so long as it followed certain rules. Now, she was stuck with them for better or for worse.

Despite how long she had been with them, there was little Toshiko knew about Fairy World, the place where fairies who weren’t currently being godparents on Earth lived. She had never been there, but Damon would sometimes go there, whether it be for business or matters he didn’t share with her but did share with Kai. Today, Damon had left, leaving her with just Kai.

In the safety of her bedroom, Toshiko felt more relaxed talking to her godparents when she knew there was no one who could look at her weirdly for seeming to talk to herself. Laying on her bed, she told Kai, “I’ve been meaning to ask, how do you know Mochi? How did you meet, when did you meet...?”

“How I met him?” Kai, having taken one of her fans without her permission again, waved it to his face several times as he thought. “That was years ago. Like, take your age, and multiply by 1,000. I think that’s how long we’ve known each other.”

She wrinkled her nose. “You think? You couldn’t even be bothered to remember the date you met Damon? Whatever do you do on anniversaries?”

“I... No one wants me to do anything on any anniversary!” he hurriedly defended.

She glared at him before sighing. “Anyway, you only partially answered my question. You answered when you met him, as poorly as it was, but you didn’t answer how. Was it through training to become godparents?”

“I mean, yeah, we met at Fairy Academy,” Kai admitted. “We didn’t really train together, though. Just kinda met.”

His answers bothered her, but the topic of Damon reminded her of his absence. “What is Damon doing right now, anyway? He didn’t have the decency to tell me where he was going, although I assume it’s in Fairy Land. If I was not so used to it—which is shameful on your ends—I would scold him the second I saw him again!”

Kai stopped fanning himself. “I don’t know, actually. He usually tells me where he goes, but today... Maybe he’s planning something.”

“So, he does special things on anniversaries, but you don’t?”

“First of all, we both  don’t do anything special on anniversaries, and second, there aren’t any anniversaries coming up. I don’t even actually know if he’s planning something.”

“Perhaps something happened to him.” She sat up. “I suppose the only way to find out what he is doing is to find out ourselves.”

“Okay, cool idea, but how do we do that if we don’t even know where he is?”

“Can I wish to go to Mochi’s location?”

He thought for a few seconds. “I don’t think Da Rules say anything about it. I’m not sure, though, but I am not reading through Da Rules for this.”

“There’s no harm in trying. I might have to use his real name, so...” Toshiko cleared her throat. “I wish to go to Damon’s location.”

Kai smiled as he took out his wand. In a flash, they were gone. They appeared in front of a building that resembled houses on Earth, but the main differences lied in the pastel colours and the rounder shape. Frankly, she never thought Damon was one to like pastel colours, considering how his clothes seemed to mostly be darker colours, but she could admit that she didn’t know a lot about her godparents.

“Hey, it does work!” Kai grinned as he handed Toshiko her fan that he still had on him. He turned to look at the building with a confused frown. “Why’s Damon at his house?”

“Mochi lives here? It’s a nice house,” Toshiko complimented.

Kai smirked. “If you think this is nice, I’ll show you my house one day! It’s so much better than Damon’s!”

“Let’s get Mochi first.” Toshiko was about to knock on the door before wondering if that was impolite for Fairies. She learned it wasn’t when Kai knocked on the door for them.

When Damon opened the door, his eyes widened when he saw them before he frowned. “What are you doing here?”

“We were worried about you, right, Toshiko?” Kai put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her to his side, trapping her.

“Yes, we were...” She tried to get free for a few seconds before giving up. “You need to start telling me where you’re going, Mochi. I can’t always wish to go to your location! That is terribly improper!”

“You won’t have to worry about it soon,” he told her.

“Because you’re going to tell me where you’re going from now on? Good choice. It’s polite to—”

“No, because you won’t have me as your godparent anymore.”

Any words that Toshiko could say disappeared as she felt Kai’s grip on her shoulders tightened. Even if Kai could only say, “What...?” it was better than her.

Damon looked unfazed, as if this news was nothing more than noticing the sun coming out after some rain. “I’m resigning from being a godparent. I’ve figured I’ve been through enough of it to move on to a different part of my life.”

“Wh-What part?” asked Kai. “You spent thousands of years in the Fairy Academy to become a godparent—we spent thousands of years becoming godparents!”

“I put those thousands of years to use. I would say I was a decent godparent.”

“You’re still a godparent! Toshiko’s still a child. She still needs us!”

“She needs a godparent. She doesn’t need two of us. Godchildren don’t usually get two godparents anyway. As long as you’re here, she will still get what she needs.”

“But I agreed to being a godparent with you, not by myself! How am I supposed to take care of Toshiko by myself?”

Damon’s frown deepened. “By...granting her wishes? You’re making it sound like you’ve never been a godparent before.”

“I’ve never been a godparent without you. I don’t know how to be a godparent by myself! You should’ve talked to me about this, you know. You should’ve at least given me some sort of heads-up!”

“That...” Damon sighed. “Listen, what’s done has been done. I already sent in my resignation letter. There’s nothing we can do about it anymore.”

“Yes, you can!” insisted Kai. “Make whatever excuse you need to, just take back your resignation letter! Stay with me for longer! At the very least, stay until Toshiko doesn’t need us anymore!”

“I already told you, Toshiko needs a godparent, not two. It isn’t a problem if I resign.”

“Maybe to you, but not to me! And definitely not to Toshiko! She’s right here, so let’s ask her—”

“Don’t bring her into this, Kai...”

“Don’t bring her into this? This whole thing revolves around her!” Kai gently shook her. “Toshiko, do you want Damon to stay, yes or no?”

Both of their eyes fell onto her—maybe even the neighbours, if any of them had come out to see what the commotion was about. Toshiko didn’t know if any of them did; she couldn’t look anywhere that wasn’t her feet. Even with her fan covering her face, she didn’t want to cry over this. She was stronger than that, but the tears kept trying to find a way out.

If she had to cry, she wanted to get one question out to Damon before then: “Did I do something...?”

She couldn’t even bring her eyes up to Damon’s face, but she could hear his answer clearly: “You didn’t do anything, Toshiko.”

She thought hearing that would make her feel a bit relieved and stop the tears, but it didn’t. It did the opposite, actually. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to keep her sobs as quiet as she could. Her fan was basically pressed against her face.

“Take her home, Kai,” she heard Damon say.

“You think you can tell me what to do now?” Kai had responded.

“Staying here isn’t going to cheer her up. Take her home and make her happy. Isn’t that what a godparent is supposed to do?”

Kai didn’t respond. Toshiko heard him sigh, and the next thing she knew, they were back in Toshiko’s bedroom.

All of that, and Damon didn’t even have the courtesy to offer an invitation to talk inside his house.

. . .

Toshiko was sure she didn’t need a babysitter, especially since she had godparents, but she apparently wasn’t if her parents kept hiring Tozu, the worst babysitter in the world. He was pure evil, and he took fun in seeing her in horrible situations. She had no idea where her parents found a man with a goat head, but wherever they did, she hoped they would put him back there soon.

“Tozu’s coming?” Kai shuddered when she told him. He seemed to sink into her mattress. “Why does he have to come? Can’t you get some nice babysitter for a change?”

“My parents think Tozu is the nicest person in the world.” Toshiko opened her fan wider. “What do you think he’ll do this time?”

“Good question...” Hi’s eyes widened. “What if he takes you on another train to a locked building and told you that you had to find your way out of it yourself again? That was already a nightmare, but if he added murder—like you had to kill someone to get out—I think I’d throw up...”

Toshiko waited for the familiar voice to tell Kai that he was being stupid for worrying about something like this before she remembered Damon wasn’t here anymore. It had been a week since she found out Damon was resigning from being a godparent, but it was still hard to believe that was her reality. Judging from the look on Kai’s face, he was going through the same thoughts as her.

Since both of them were wondering about Damon, Toshiko asked, “How long does it take for godparents to stop being godparents?”

Playing with the necklace he always wore, Kai answered, “Since Damon handed his resignation letter a week ago, I think he still has three weeks left before his court hearing.”

“Court hearing?”

“Being a godparent is serious work. How powerful our magic is depends on how much humans believe in our existence. Not only are godparents helping make children’s lives better, but they’re also partly responsible for helping to keep our magic going. The Fairy Council will see if he actually should resign, so technically, Damon’s still your godparent.”

“Then why doesn’t he come see me?”

He shrugged. “It’s...probably personal reasons...”

That didn’t make her feel any better. Perhaps she needed something else to focus on. “Kai, I want to make a wish. I wish—”

“That’s cool and all, but I don’t know if I’m in the mood to grant any wishes...”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “What do you mean, you’re not in the mood? You’re my godparent; your job is to grant my wishes.”

He sighed. “I know, but I just don’t feel like it. I feel too depressed, you know...?”

“If Mochi was here, he would grant my wishes.”

“And if Damon was here, then I wouldn’t be feeling so depressed! I don’t even feel like having my wand anymore...” Kai threw his wand across her room.

That conversation led them nowhere.

Toshiko decided to search through her bedroom for something to do. There had to be something she could do before Tozu arrived and made her even more miserable. There were no games she felt like playing, there was nothing in her closet, there was nothing on her desk...

“Oh, I forgot about this!” Toshiko pulled out a piece of paper from one of the drawers on her desk.

“Forgot about what?” Kai asked from her bed.

“Back when we first met, I drew a picture of us together. Me, you, and Damon. I knew I would remember this moment, but I wanted a physical reminder of it. It wasn’t a reminder, though, since I forgot about the reminder.”

“Wait, you drew a picture of us?” Kai sat up. “I wanna see!”

Toshiko sat on her bed and showed Kai the drawing. It was nothing other than the three of them together. It wasn’t anything special, and in her opinion, the drawing itself was childish. Her drawing skills had improved since they first met, and she had also matured as a person. This photo meant nothing to her.

Kai, on the other hand, was treating it like the finest piece of art he had ever laid his eyes on. The compliments from him just kept coming and coming. Toshiko honestly felt a bit overwhelmed.

“We look like one happy family,” Kai said.

“You’re supposed to be my godparent,” she replied. “That makes me technically your child.”

“Aww, and I’m your mom and Damon’s your dad?”

“If you want to say that, then sure.” She frowned at the drawing. “But I guess I’m the divorced child now... Have you talked to Mochi, by the way?”

“I’ve, umm... I’ve been ignoring him,” Kai admitted.

“Ignoring or avoiding?” Toshiko asked.

After a pause, he said, “Avoiding.”

“Nothing is going to get solved if you keep avoiding him,” she pointed out.

“He’s dead-set on resigning, though...”

“Not that! I meant in your relationship . If you keep avoiding him, your relationship will fall apart. You’re angry at him now,” she said, “but I know you like being with Mochi. You wouldn’t be my godparents—plural—otherwise.”

“But he doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“You’re only saying that as an excuse to not talk to him. In the future, you’ll be wishing that you did talk to him and kept in touch. That’s assuming you get to the point where you avoid him for a long time, of course. I’m assuming that won’t be the case, since you’re going to talk to him.”

“Are you making me talk to him?”

“I’m not going to make you do anything. I just know you’ll do it because you want to.”

Kai sighed and leaned against her headboard. “Why am I listening to my godchild lecture me about ignoring Damon...?”

“It’s because I’m your godchild that I’m saying this,” Toshiko said. “I know you’ll both leave me when I’m an adult, so I understand our relationship will fall apart one day, but I don’t want to see my godparents’ relationship fall apart.”

“I guess you have a—”

There was a knock on the front door.

Toshiko sprang off the bed as Kai transformed into a small pink pillow resting on her headboard. Her bedroom was on the far end of the hallway, meaning she had to run to get to the stairs. When she reached the balcony, she saw the front door open just in time to see her parents leave and Tozu shutting the door behind them. His gaze fell onto her. Despite having no mouth, she knew he was smiling.

“Hello, Toshiko!” he said, waving at her to join him downstairs. “It’s great to see you again! Have any luck with your new costumers? Have they found any love yet?”

“Yes, Tozu...” She didn’t move from her spot, her hands gripping the railings next to her. With Kai’s fear of Tozu, Damon always disguised himself as some sort of green accessory whenever she had to face Tozu. She always had that comforting weight of him on her, but now that he was gone, she felt too light and vulnerable.

Tozu looked around. “Say, I’m hungry, and I need to use the bathroom. Make me a sandwich, okay?”

Toshiko knew she should stand her ground—that would be what Damon would encourage her to do—but she found herself meekly saying, “O-Okay, Tozu,” and going to the kitchen.

Unsure of what kind of sandwich to give Tozu, Toshiko settled for a basic tuna sandwich. When Tozu came back downstairs, Toshiko spotted a bright light and felt her heart stop when she noticed him carrying a wand in his hand—Kai’s wand.

“You have a fun toy!” Tozu waved it around.

“That was in my room,” she managed to say. “Why were you in my room...?”

“Oh, I lied about needing to go to the bathroom. As your babysitter, I have to make sure you’re safe. Matchmaking people at such a young age... Someone will give you something you shouldn’t have one of these days.”

“Give me my wand back...”

“I will after I’m done playing with it! Grownups need to play too, you know!” He picked up the sandwich, and his visible eye had some disgust. “Tuna? I’m not a big fan of that. I wish you had given me something like a ham sandwich.”

Toshiko’s eyes widened as the sandwich changed from a tuna sandwich to a ham sandwich. Tozu blinked a few times at the sandwich before saying, “Oh, forgive me, Toshiko. It appears you did give me a ham sandwich.”

“Y-Yes, I did...” Nervous laughter followed.

Since Tozu was busy with his sandwich, Toshiko took the chance and went to her bedroom. She found a panicked Kai who, once seeing her, immediately said, “He just came so fast, and I couldn’t stop him! He has my wand now, so he can grant any wish in the world! What do we do?”

Toshiko tugged on her sleeves. “I-I don’t know, I was going to ask you that...!”

“Damon would be better at this...” After a moment of thought, Kai said, “Okay, here’s the plan: I distract him with whatever magic I can do, and you grab the wand!”

“How will you distract him?”

“I’ll be stuff like the pizza delivery man, a man delivering an online order, a man trying to sell something...”

“He’ll definitely become suspicious...”

“I don’t see you coming up with any better ideas!”

Toshiko didn’t have any ideas, let alone any that would be better than Kai’s. They had no choice; this was what they were going to do to get Kai’s wand back from Tozu.

. . .

Toshiko and Kai discovered early on that Tozu decided the wand looked so cool that he would keep it on him at all times. He kept accidentally making wishes, such as wishing the rug was a different colour or that a show about 16 students trapped in a killing game was airing on the television right now. Toshiko successfully helped convince him to think these were all coincidences, but they were risking him finding out the truth with every second that passed. Unfortunately, she and Kai were running out of ideas.

“Why did Damon have to leave?” Kai groaned when they returned to Toshiko’s bedroom after another failed attempt. “If he was here, this problem would’ve already been solved! He’s always been better than me at everything...”

“I wouldn’t say at everything.” At his look, Toshiko said, “I’m trying to make us happier.”

“Don’t bother. We failed again, and at this rate, I’ll be taken away as your godparent too.”

She frowned. “What will happen if you’re no longer my godparent?”

“I’ll probably be taken away before Damon’s court hearing, so the court will probably say Damon will still have to be your godparent. But if they agree to let him resign...” His shoulder’s drooped. “You’ll forget about us.”

“Oh.” Forgetting about Kai and Damon felt so unreal. She could live without them in her life, but she couldn’t imagine not ever knowing them.

“But we still have time!” Kai said with a forced cheerful tone. “We can still get it back! And who knows? Maybe Tozu will give it back before he leaves!”

“He’s stolen my stuff before. He once stole a whole suitcase full of my clothes and other stuff, remember? We had to fight to get it back...”

“M-Maybe this time is different! We can still get the wand back, and I’ll still be your godparent!”

“Kai? Can I ask something?” With his full attention, Toshiko asked, “What magic can you do without a wand?”

He counted what he could do on his fingers. “I can float, I can shape-shift, I can heal really fast, and I can teleport me and other stuff to places.”

She nodded along. “I have an idea. Let’s teleport to Mochi and ask for his help!”

After a second, he said, “You can go. I’ll stay here.”

“Why? It’s just Mochi. You were the one who kept complaining about his absence too.”

“Well, someone’s gotta keep watch on the wand, and since it’s my wand...”

“Aren’t you scared of Tozu?”

Kai didn’t reply. Instead, Toshiko found she had been teleported in front of Damon’s house again—alone. Had he no manners?

She couldn’t leave Fairy Land alone, though, so she knocked on Damon’s front door like Kai did last time. When there was no answer, she knocked again and again. Soon, she was pounding on the door. Was he ignoring her like Kai was ignoring him? He was the one who said she didn’t do anything!

“Toshiko, I’m right here.”

Toshiko turned around and saw Damon approaching his house. Feeling the blood rush to her face, she asked, “How long were you there...?”

“I just got here.” He looked around and looked a little disappointed. “Where’s Kai?”

“Back at my house.” The words came rushing out of her as she said, “I know you don’t want to be a godparent, but you’re still technically my godparent right now, so you should come back and help Kai and me because Tozu took his wand, and we need your help getting it back.”

Damon listened in silence. He seemed to be debating whether he should agree before he sighed and held out his hand to her. “Let’s go.”

Toshiko smiled and took Damon’s hand. She knew he would be able to make things better again.

. . .

When Toshiko returned to her bedroom, she asked Kai if Tozu had done anything. After Kai answered that he hadn’t, he asked, “Isn’t Damon meant to be with you?”

“It’s all part of his plan.” Toshiko took a fan from her bedroom and covered her face. “We have to wait a few minutes. Mochi said to tell you that you shouldn’t be worried, even though you will be. He says you need to stay calm no matter what.”

“He can’t control how I feel...”

Toshiko sighed. “We have some time before the plan starts, so I’m going to tell you this now: Kai, you need to get yourself together. Your marriage is going to fall apart.”

“My marriage?” He frowned. “What marriage? When was I married? Who am I married to? I don’t remember any of this.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m obviously talking about your marriage with Damon.”

“But...we’re not married?”

“You’re... You’re not?” At the shake of his head, she lifted her fan higher. “O-Oh...”

A smile spread across his face. “Wait, you actually thought we were married?”

“I-I was introduced to you both as my godparent s , so I thought...you were at least dating...”

Laughter burst from Kai. “I promise, I’m not married to him! Seriously, just being godparents together doesn’t mean we’re together.”

“Didn’t you just say today when you saw that old picture I drew that you were my mother and Damon was my father?”

“Just because I said that doesn’t mean we’re together. Friends always say stuff like that! Oh, and by the way—”

“Friends usually say one of you is the parent and the other is the aunt, the uncle, the older sibling...”

“Well, me and Damon are just different. I told you, take your age and times it by 1,000, and that should be about how long me and Damon have known each other. We’re probably closer than regular friends ‘cause of that.”

“How many godchildren have you had over these thousands of years?”

“A lot more than I can count.” He sighed. “You know, we didn’t take that long of breaks between godchildren. Actually, we spent those breaks together, too. We were inseparable after our first godchild. Like, it felt like my whole life changed after meeting him.”

“Do you feel like you can’t live a life without ever knowing Mochi anymore?”

“Yeah, exactly!”

She contemplated what question she could ask him before settling on, “How does being with Mochi make you feel?”

“Being with Damon... Safe, I guess. I know if I can’t do something, he’ll help me.”

“Does being with Mochi make you have this warm feeling inside you? It can feel like a mix of safety, comfort, peace, and happiness. Do you feel like that even at the thought of Mochi?”

“Now that you mention it, I do feel like that around Damon, but when I think of him, I’m just angry and sad at him for quitting.”

“Would you feel angry and sad if you were a godparent with someone else, but they also quit without telling you?”

“Obviously, but that would never happen! Damon’s the only Fairy I’d ever be godparents with! Don’t get me wrong,” he said, “there are cool Fairies out there, but I’d never be godparents with them. Damon’s the only one who had enough patience to last thousands of years with me, and honestly, I don’t like the thought of sharing a godchild with anyone but him.”

“Does sharing a godchild feel too intimate for you? ‘Child’ is in the name, after all; you’re practically raising a living creature together.”

“Yeah, yeah, you get it! Sharing a godchild with anyone else just feels too weird, but I’m happy to share 1,000—more than that, actually! I’m happy to share a ton more with Damon. Why are you asking me all this anyway?”

It appeared she would have to be the one to tell him.

Toshiko extended her free hand and waited for Kai to take it, albeit hesitantly. Slowly and carefully, she said, “Kai, we both know that I am a matchmaker and have lots of experience in matchmaking, even with how young I am. You might not witness any of my matchmaking sessions because of how boring you find it, but you know I’m not lying. I’m speaking as a matchmaker, your godchild, and someone who cares about you when I say—”

The fire alarm went off.

Ignoring what she wanted to say before, Toshiko said, “Damon said to stay calm!”

“I-I am calm! I’m always calm!” Kai’s expression looked anything but calm.

Hearing Tozu’s footsteps coming up the stairs, Toshiko quickly told him, “Try to get the wand back when we leave,” before Kai turned into a pink ball.

Her bedroom door opened, revealing Tozu who didn’t have Kai’s wand on him. Before she could react, he grabbed her arm and yanked her forwards. “I’m not getting paid if you die...”

Despite knowing the cause, she still asked, “What happened?”

“The fire alarm went off, and I smell smoke. We are getting out of here, and you’re not going to get a scratch on you.”

“But...you never cared if I died before...”

“Before, I could make up some cheap story about your death. If you die here, it will obviously be my fault to some extent.”

At least she learned something about Tozu.

Outside, the other neighbours had come out too. The smoke detectors had gone off in their homes. In the distance, a fire could be seen. When Tozu spotted it, he muttered, “I didn’t know this area was close to wildfires.”

“It’s not supposed to be,” Toshiko replied. She wondered when he would let go of her arm.

The fire looked to be quite a while away, but some neighbours were evacuating. Tozu looked at them and said in a voice that was too cheerful, “I know! Let’s go to the park, Toshiko!”

“But last time we went to the park, you forced me to solve a murder you set up and would kill me too if I failed to get the right answer under a time limit...”

“You only need one to survive, and you have two! That was a fun time. Should we do it again?”

Spotting a child who looked to be around her age, Toshiko said, “I see my friend. Can I go?”

Tozu stared at her with his unblinking eye. She tried not to squirm. Finally, he let go and said, “Meet me back at the house in three hours. Your parents will be back a little after that. They don’t have to know we weren’t together.”

“R-Right! Umm... Thank you, Tozu.” Toshiko headed off in the direction of the child. When she knew Tozu wasn’t looking, she turned and, with the houses, hid herself from Tozu’s sight. Damon was waiting not too far away.

In his hands were two sticks with roasted marshmallows on them. “I got them for you and Kai,” he said as he handed her one.

“Did you use the fire for this?” As he nodded, Toshiko took a bite out of one marshmallow. With the perfectly crisped outer layer and soft inside, she swore she could taste Heaven.

That explained the wish. After quickly going over Da Rules, Damon said they could wish for a fire as long as it didn’t harm any living thing. That meant Toshiko could wish for the smoke detectors in all the houses to go off, and if that didn’t make everyone leave, she could wish for a fire far away that didn’t harm any humans or plants. He told her to wish that it would happen after a few minutes so she could tell Kai and to wish it would end after a few minutes to end it without any problems. She had assumed he didn’t want to talk to Kai as much as Kai didn’t want to talk to him, but if he had roasted marshmallows just for Kai, it appeared she was wrong.

“Toshiko!” Kai’s voice rang out as he appeared next to her with his wand. He waved it around as he sang, “I got my wand back!”

“You should thank Mochi for that. It was his idea,” she said before taking another bite out of her marshmallows.

It was only then did Kai seem to notice Damon. “Oh, hi. Yeah, umm... Thanks for helping.”

“It’s nothing.” He held out the other stick with roasted marshmallows. “I got you this.”

Kai’s eyes lit up. “You got me roasted marshmallows? Damon, thank you so much! I haven’t had these since forever!”

“It’s barely been 100 years.” To Toshiko, he said, “Kai and I were the godparents around the time roasting marshmallows started becoming a thing. Our godchild fell in love with it, and so did Kai. Apparently, Kai only liked the ones that godchild roasted. Ever since the godchild grew up and didn’t need us anymore, he never ate one since then.”

“Then why is he eating them right now?”

“Since he didn’t want to learn how to do it like that kid, I decided to learn.”

“Shouldn’t it be possible to make another one like it with magic?”

“That’s what I kept telling him,” interrupted Kai. “But this guy keeps saying it doesn’t taste the same if magic is used, so he spent all these years trying to perfect something a human kid 100 years ago did.”

“It still isn’t that accurate,” said Damon. “The texture is still a little off. You could say it’s close enough, but if I keep trying for at least a few dozen years, it might—”

“Oh, my God, Damon, these are perfect!” Each stick had five marshmallows on them, and Kai was already halfway done. “I feel like I’m back at the little house with the fire starting and the sunlight streaming in through the windows ‘cause the poor kid was horrified of the dark...”

“I just said—” Damon sighed, and a smile came onto his face. “Well, if you’re happy with it, I guess I did a good job.”

Kai was about to eat the last marshmallow when he realized Toshiko had her own stick with roasted marshmallows but not Damon. “Hey, why don’t you have one?”

“They were just for you and Toshiko.”

“But you should have one! You went through the all the trouble of making these.” He pulled the last marshmallow off the stick and held it near Damon’s mouth. “Here, have it!”

Instead of arguing as expected, Damon let Kai feed him the marshmallow. His expression towards the smiling Kai didn’t look as annoyed as expected either.

Oh, no. Toshiko finished her last marshmallow! Now what was she supposed to focus on to prevent feeling like she was interrupting something?

Kai’s eyes fell on Toshiko, and his smile fell as he seemed to come to the realization someone else was with them. Along with that realization, he turned his back to Damon. “I’m still mad at you,” he said to him.

As Damon’s expression flickered to one that had more sadness, Toshiko said, “I would forgive him just enough to talk to him if I was you. He brought you marshmallows!”

“You’re just easy to be swayed.”

“No, I’m not! My heart is just soft and delicate, so I’m more empathetic, but that does not mean I’m easily swayed!”

“Whatever makes you sleep at night.”

Usually, when one of her godparents annoyed her, Toshiko would make a point to spend more time with the other. Since Damon was here, and he was still technically her godparent, she turned to him and asked, “Can we go somewhere? Like Fairy World? I want to see more of it.”

“Oh, so now you’re on his side?” Kai frowned at her. “Come on, Toshiko. Who’s your favourite between me and Damon?”

“Mochi,” Toshiko answered without hesitation, earning a chuckle from Damon.

Kai stared at her with a blank expression before turning his back to both of them, muttering about how he didn’t care if they hung out and it wasn’t any of his business.

“I can take you to Fairy World,” Damon told Toshiko. “Just don’t do anything that makes people stare at us, okay?”

“Okay!” Toshiko held Damon’s hand as he took them to Fairy World, leaving a grumpy Kai behind.

When the magic was gone, Toshiko saw that Damon took them to a park. It didn’t have a playground, but it looked pretty to look at. Damn started walking without telling her, and she quickly caught up. As they walked around the park, Toshiko asked, “Are humans allowed in Fairy World?”

“There’s no rule saying they aren’t,” Damon answered. “I heard it might change soon, though. The Fairy Council is thinking about making it so humans can’t come here without their godparents, and godparents who currently have godchildren can’t come here without special permission. It’s all just rumours, though, so don’t worry about it. You’re safe to come here for now.”

“Speaking of the Fairy Council, Kai says you’ll meet with the Fairy Council to resign from being a godparent in a few weeks.”

“I should be.”

“And...there isn’t anything I can say that can change your mind?”

She expected to hear something similar to him telling her to not bother trying, but she didn’t receive a response.

She couldn’t stop a smile from coming onto her face. “Oh! I can convince you to stay!”

“You’re not going to,” he said.

“Said who? I can be really convincing,” she threatened.

“Helping someone realize they have feelings for someone else is different from this.”

“I don’t think so.” If she pretended that being a godparent was someone Damon had feelings for and quitting was someone Damon was trying to convince himself he had feelings for, it wasn’t that different from matchmaking. There were quite a few people she helped who had that problem. “Why do you want to quit?”

He sighed. “I shouldn’t have said anything... Are you going to stop asking those questions soon?”

“No! I want answers, Mochi!”

“I can give you at least one answer if you don’t call me that. And preferably not here,” he said, looking around. There weren’t a lot of other Fairies nearby, but she could understand that being around other people might not be the most comfortable.

“Then where should we go, Mochi?” Toshiko asked. “Keep in mind, you didn’t invite me inside your house even though I’ve gone to your house twice...!”

“You’re not going into my house, Toshiko.” Damon didn’t let her say another word before he used his wand and teleported them away.

The sound of rushing water was the first thing Toshiko noticed about the new area. When her eyes got used to the scenery, her heart dropped as she realized she was above a waterfall. She screamed and flailed around until she realized she wasn’t falling. When her gaze fell on Damon, she saw him using magic to carry her along with an amused smile. If she didn’t have questions to ask him, she would wipe that smile off his face and go back to Kai!

However, since she did have questions, she asked very politely like a true lady, “Where are we?”

He pointed to a large yellow sign in the distance. “This is Fairy Falls, the only large body of water in Fairy World.”

Now knowing she was under no danger, Toshiko took a better look around. “It looks like Niagara Falls.”

“That’s the waterfall between Canada and the United States, isn’t it?”

“It is. Why are we here out of everywhere, though?”

“It was the first place I could think of going.” He paused for a moment. “I think it’s because I usually go here with Kai after we leave a godchild. We usually go over the falls—which made me forget you can’t fly.”

“Which means I could’ve been dead. Very irresponsible,” she muttered.

“If I saved you from Tozu from using you to test that execution of making you sit on some sort of treadmil taking you to a pit of fire and making fun of your situation by making it impossible to get to the exit door right in front of you, I would never let you die.”

She huffed. “Why do you and Kai come here anyway?”

He shrugged. “It’s a form of tradition for us. Just Kai and I, I mean. Other Fairies don’t do this. Kai was really excited when we graduated from Fairy Acadmey. He wanted to do something immediately, and since I’ve wanted to come here for a while, I took us to Fairy Falls. He was bored of it at first, but he grew to like it enough to willingly go here with me every time we leave a godchild.”

“Is it relaxing for you here?”

“It is.”

“Then why do I have to yell to make sure you can hear me?”

“You’re just not used to it yet—and I’m a used to Kai’s loud voice. Here.” She stifled a scream as he moved her closer. “Now you don’t have to yell as loudly. I’m pretty sure the whole Fairy World heard you before.”

“Be quiet.” Toshiko gave herself a moment to recollect herself before she asked, “Were you friends with Kai during training? When I asked Kai, he made it unclear, but it sounds like you were.”

“You could say that.”

“Is that a yes or a no?”

“We knew each other, but I wouldn’t say we were friends. He wouldn’t either.”

“Did you hook up?”

“What— Why would we hook up while we were at Fairy Academy?”

“Your face is red.”

“Because you asked me if I hooked up with Kai! You’re a child; are you even supposed to be asking this?”

“I’m a matchmaker. Are you opposed to the idea of hooking up with Kai? Do you even like boys?”

“This conversation is ending here.” Damon used his wand to move them apart. Toshiko was sure he moved them further apart than they were when they first teleported to Fairy Falls.

“I have another question!” she shouted over the waterfall. “Why aren’t there any other Fairies here?”

“It’s usually a honeymoon spot for couples.”

“Does that mean you and Kai were once married, but now you’re divorced?”

Damon moved Toshiko further away from him.

She strained her voice to shout, “What was your relationship with Kai when you two were in Fairy Academy?”

Damon said something she could hear. She asked him to repeat it multiple times before he finally moved her closer and shouted, “Because Kai couldn’t graduate without me!”

She frowned. “That’s mean.”

“It’s the truth,” he said.

“When you say he couldn’t graduate without you, do you mean being godparents together?”

“Right. Kai couldn’t be a godparent by himself no matter how hard he tried.”

“Why?”

“If Kai didn’t already share it with you, then I’m not telling you.”

“At least tell me why you helped him.”

“Why I helped him?” Damon looked surprised at that question. Toshiko stayed silent as she gave him time to think. Eventually, he said, “You might think worse of me, but I only helped him because of how pathetic he was.”

“Explain, please.”

“Kai needed someone to help graduate. He...” His eyes looked conflicted before he said, “No one was very amiable towards him, so no one else offered to help him. Kai looked so desperate that I agreed to help, even though we hadn’t spoken to each other before.”

Knowing how Kai acted, Toshiko could believe that he made such a big deal about not being able to graduate that someone he had never spoken to would take notice. “Did you have fun being godparents with Kai?”

Again, the expression on his face made it clear he wasn’t expecting these questions. Being a matchmaker involved expecting the unexpected, though, so as someone who attended her matchmaking meetings more than her other godparent, he shouldn’t be surprised. “Being a godparent isn’t meant to be fun. You’re helping sad children become happier, which helps make sure Fairies can still use magic.”

“I didn’t ask if the job was fun. I asked if you had fun working with Kai.”

“If I say yes, will you leave me alone?”

In case he pushed her away again, Toshiko said quickly, “Kai had fun working with you too. I can tell. He’s really depressed now that you’re gone and doesn’t know if he can be a godparent or do anything without you.”

At first, Damon looked ready to push her away, but he didn’t. A thoughtful look was on his face. “He was?”

“I think he’s being depressed now. He didn’t feel like granting any of my wishes today because of how depressed he felt, which made him leave his wand unattended and let Tozu take it.”

He sighed. “See, it’s this kind of stuff that made him unable to graduate from Fairy Academy by himself...”

“How did you handle him for thousands of years?”

“If you’ve been around him for thousands of years like me, you learn how to deal with him.”

“Actually, no, that’s not what I wanted to ask. I meant...” She decided to word it with, “Why did you let it get to thousands of years? From what I know of Kai and how you’ve described it, I would assume most Fairies would’ve given up on Kai maybe 100 years in, 1,000 at most. You’ve been godparents with Kai for more than 1,000 years, though. Why were you okay with that, even though you knew how Kai can be?”

When Damon fell silent, Toshiko first assumed it was because he was thinking of an answer. Then, she realized he had no answer. Her suspicions were confirmed when he muttered, “These questions are so stupid.”

She smiled from behind her fan. “That’s all I needed to know.”

“All you needed to know for what? Why are you laughing?”

“It’s a secret! A lady’s secret. You can’t ask what it is since you’re a boy.”

A frustrated look appeared on his face. “I understand godchildren less and less with every new one—and I barely understood the first one...”

“I’m doing being angry at Kai, by the way,” she said. “Can you come with me, though? Kai might actually do stuff if you’re there...”

“And get him used to having me again?”

“It’s been thousands of years. A few more days together doesn’t make that much of a difference. Please? Do it for Kai?” she added quietly.

It was a flat-out denial she was expecting, but she was happy to take Damon looking like he was reluctant to take out his wand. Toshiko didn’t have time to think about how he probably wasn’t actually so reluctant; she now had a mission she needed to complete, and she needed to complete it today. If she couldn’t, then there was little to no chance she could ever have another opportunity like this again.

. . .

Kai, who was less grumpy than he was before, had made himself comfortable in Toshiko’s living room. He looked surprise when seeing Damon with Toshiko. When Toshiko explained that Damon was staying for a little longer, Kai said, “Didn’t know all it took for Damon to be a godparent for a day longer was to have our godchild ask nicely. Is it because she’s cute? Damon, who’s cuter, me or Toshiko?”

“Me,” Toshiko answered for Damon.

“I only came here because Toshiko said you were too depressed without me to do anything,” clarified Damon.

He sounded like he was already tired of Kai after being in his presence for a minute, but he had a smile when Kai sputtered out, “I was not depressed! Toshiko’s just— She’s making up lies! You taught her that! You’re corrupting our daughter!”

“Then how did your wand go missing? Toshiko told me it was because—”

“Don’t listen to her! Listen to me, and I’m telling you that Toshiko was the one who was depressed without you!”

“I was a little sad,” she admitted.

Damon patted her head. “See, that’s the difference between you and her, Kai. Toshiko can actually accept that she was sad over me. Plus, Toshiko is a child.”

“Kai has the maturity of a child, though.”

Kai pointed at her. “You taught her that, too!”

Toshiko smiled. It felt like how it was a few weeks ago, when Damon leaving them didn’t have any chance of happening. She didn’t have too good of a relationship with her parents, to say the least, but being with Damon and Kai made her feel like she was actually part of a family. It was far from a regular one, but it was hers.

The thought of it made her reminded of the picture. “Kai, what happened to my drawing?”

“I still have it on me,” he answered. “I was gonna tell you before, but I guess I forgot.”

“I didn’t know you started drawing,” Damon told her. When she told him why the drawing was made, he asked, “Can I see it?”

“It’s with Kai right now,” Toshiko answered as Kai proudly took it out and displayed it like he was offering Damon a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to become a millionaire.

“We’re like a happy family!” he told Damon. “You’re the dad, I’m the mom, and Toshiko’s our cute, little baby!”

“Why are you the mom?” asked Toshiko.

“Because I wouldn’t be pregnant! Oh, I forgot humans have more differences from Fairies than just having no magic,” he said when he noticed her confused look. “You know how human moms get pregnant? For Fairies, it’s the dad that gets pregnant.”

“Oh.” The question of how was on the tip of her tongue, but it was probably better for her own sake if she didn’t know all the details.

“Since we’re both boys, we both could get pregnant, but I feel like between me and Damon, Damon would be the pregnant one.”

“Mochi, are you listening to this?” Toshiko turned to look at him, expecting some sort of shocked look.

Instead, his focus was entirely on the drawing. He looked almost hypnotized by it. Maybe he was, since it took Kai saying Damon’s name after Toshiko tried several times to get Damon’s focus away from it. Since he looked a little lost, Toshiko said, “Kai thinks that between you and him, you would be the pregnant one.”

“What?” The shocked she was expecting earlier was now on his face.

“It’s just sort of vibes, you know?” Kai made vague gestures with his hand that wasn’t holding the drawing. “Like, you just look like someone who would be pregnant.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I-It’s a compliment, I swear!”

“How?”

“Hey, maybe let’s not talk about pregnancy in front of our daughter, okay? ‘Cause she’s so young and innocent...?”

Toshiko could defend herself right now, but she didn’t need to. It would look weird if she didn’t, though, so she settled for glaring at Kai before saying, “I have to go to the bathroom.”

The bathroom was on the second floor and was opposite to her bedroom. When she climbed up the stairs, she turned around the corner and hid behind the wall. Since she was apparently so “innocent,” they would definitely talk about something they didn’t want her to listen to. Unfortunately for them, she might need to in order to get more information and make sure her mission to succeed.

After a stretch of silence that felt like it lasted an eternity, her suspicions were finally confirmed. Damon was the one to break it. “Say whatever you want to tell me now. We might not get another chance like this again”

Kai’s voice, which had so much more emotion just before she left, sounded much more deflated now. “I don’t have anything I want to tell you.”

“You said earlier that you were still angry at me. If you—”

“I lied. I wasn’t angry at you anymore. I just...didn’t want Toshiko to know I knew this was coming...”

Damon said exactly what Toshiko was thinking. “You knew this was coming? What are you talking about?”

“I knew you would eventually get tired of having me around.” He sighed. His voice was quieter when he spoke again, but Toshiko could make out what he was saying. “I told you before, Damon, I know who I am and what everyone thinks of me. I know my magic is unstable, and no matter how many people I can get to like me, my magic will be the reason they start hating me again.”

“So, you were waiting for me to start hating you?”

“Obviously. I guess I’m just...still a little surprised it took you this long. Really long... But yeah,” he added, “I didn’t want to worry Toshiko with my own feelings. We’re here to help give her a worry-free life, you know? We can’t do that if she realizes I’m literally the reason it’s illegal for Fairies to have babies.”

“It’s not your fault I’m resigning, Kai.”

“Then give me a reason that doesn’t involve me.”

Toshiko resisted the urge to peek around the corner when there was only silence.

“You don’t have to keep lying to me, Damon. I’m not that stupid.”

“It’s— It’s not the reason you’re thinking, Kai. Your magic has nothing to do with this. Actually, I couldn’t care less about how insane your magic can get.”

“You do care—”

“But not to the extent you’re thinking. Yes, your magic can get crazy, yes, it can get annoying, but do you really think I’ve spent thousands of years with you just to hate you?”

“What other reason is there?”

Toshiko heard Damon sigh, and she froze when he said, “I don’t want Toshiko listening to this...”

“Toshiko’s in the bathroom,” Kai said, while Toshiko panicked over if she accidentally revealed herself. “Just say it really fast.”

“She said she was going to the bathroom, but if you taught her anything, it was how to eavesdrop.”

“Hey, I never eavesdrop. I’m too good of a person for that.”

“Toshiko might not be.”

As much as she wanted to keep listening, Toshiko hurried as quietly as she could to the bathroom. Only after she locked the door behind her did she realize she was trapped in there until a good amount of time had passed for her to act like she actually went to the bathroom. What did people do in bathrooms?

. . .

Toshiko waited for what felt like forever before stepping out of the bathroom. She went downstairs but found no one there. No one was in the kitchen or outside, either. Upstairs, her parents’ room was empty, and no one could be in the bathroom if she just came out of it. That meant Kai and Damon went to her bedroom, for whatever reason.

When Toshiko went into her bedroom, though, it was empty too. She was wondering if they both went to Fairy World when two arms trapped her from behind.

“I’ve caught her!” Kai declared as Damon stepped into her view. “Stay still, Toshiko! You’re now being held hostage!”

They were hiding! Probably as some very small objects. “Let me go! You should never treat a lady like this!”

“Ladies also shouldn’t eavesdrop on people.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Your footsteps aren’t as quiet as you think they are when you’re running away.”

Stupid feet giving her away... However, she wasn’t going to give in that easily. “Again, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re not good at lying.”

“Come on, Damon, interrogate her,” encouraged Kai. “Like... Do it like a pirate! Like that Jean guy!”

“Jean DeLamer? Wasn’t he a ship captain being interviewed on TV after he almost drowned at sea?” asked Toshiko.

“He looks like a pirate. Come on, Damon, be a pirate!”

Damon with a very unamused face said, “Yar, har, har. Tell us what ye’s intentions were when eavesdropping on me and my matey.”

Kai’s smile was evident in his voice alone. “Yeah, see, you’re getting it! Just add a bit more emotion next time, okay?”

“I’ll think about it after Toshiko admits to eavesdropping.”

She turned her head away from him. “I’m not telling you anything because I don’t know anything. I’m done talking about this.”

“She’s lying, and she’s trying to get out of this confrontation! May I attack, Captain?” Kai asked Damon.

“Go ahead.”

Toshiko squealed as Kai began his attack—tickles. How rude of Damon to just stand there and watch! Yes, she did eavesdrop, but she was on a mission! From how they were acting, she could assume she succeeded if they were getting along again, but she wasn’t satisfied with these results. That was a matter for later, though. Right now, she needed to stop Kai’s attacks as quickly as possible!

. . .

As the end of the day neared, Toshiko thought Damon was going to leave. He stayed for the night, though. He stayed the next day too. And the next. And the next. Soon, his court trial was only a few days away, and he spent all his time with her and Kai. At least he and Kai were getting along, making her sure that her plan had succeeded.

However, his long stay was confusing. Toshiko needed to confront him about this when Kai wasn’t there, so Toshiko asked Damon, “Can I go to your house, Mochi?”

Unfortunately, Kai immediately asked after, “Ooh, can I come too?”

“You’ve been to my house before, Kai,” Damon reminded him.

“And I like being there! Plus, you still have some of my clothes. I know I told you that you can keep some of them, but I didn’t say you could just take everything I own.”

“Your closet is full of clothes.”

“‘Cause I kept buying more after I realized I’m going to lose my entire closet to you if I don’t!”

“You could tell him to stop,” suggested Toshiko.

“But I don’t know if he’d listen to me.” He whispered in her ear, “And I also need him to take some of my clothes. I have clothes I would never wear, but I know Damon would love to have them in his closet. Plus, he does look nice wearing my clothes.”

“You could give him the clothes as a gift,” she whispered back. “You could wrap it nicely and add flowers as a bonus.”

“Damon’s more of a giver and not a receiver when it comes to gifts, though. I tried to get him a plushie that costed about five human dollars one time because I thought it looked like him, and he acted like I was offering him $1,000,000, but he’d have to go through Faggigly failure to get it.”

“Do you know what other human word starts with the first four letters of ‘Faggigly’ and could describe Damon and you?”

“Whatever plans you’re making aren’t going to work,” interrupted Damon. “Kai, you’re not coming to my house, and Toshiko, you’re never coming into my house.”

Kai pouted as Toshiko said, “But I want to go to Fairy World and see the inside of your house!”

“I can take you to Fairy World, but we’re not going into my house.”

“Where are we going?” asked Kai.

“It’s just going to be me and Toshiko.”

Kai’s smiling expression faded. “What? Why?”

“I have something I need to talk to her about.”

“As do I,” agreed Toshiko. “Other than about your house.”

“You could’ve just said that.”

“But I want to be in your house.”

“So, you guys are just going to leave me?” Kai sighed. “Have fun...”

After a second, Damon took him and Toshiko to Fairy World. They appeared to be in a forest. All the trees loomed over Toshiko, making her feel as big as an ant. “Do you and Kai come here often too?” she asked.

“No, but it’s private here.” Despite saying that, he still looked around like someone was listening in. Only weird people listened in on conversations they weren’t supposed to hear. “You can say whatever you wanted to tell me first.”

“Alright.” She waited for him to look at her. “I don’t mean this in a rude way, but why are you still here? I thought from the way you acted in Fairy Falls that you would leave after an hour or two, but it’s been days.”

“I was going to leave earlier,” he admitted, “but I changed my mind.”

“Why?”

“Reasons.”

“I can listen.”

“I’ll tell you later.”

“Later instead of never? You’re changing, Mochi. Your turn,” she said before he could reply. “Unlike you, I shall actually answer!”

“Right.” His gaze darted away. “Don’t laugh.”

“I am an empathetic person, but I can’t promise I won’t laugh at you.”

“Good enough, I guess.” After a pause, he began. “I’ve been... I’ve been wanting to tell Kai...”

“That you have feelings for him?” she finished. “It took you long enough, but fortunately, you have come to the right person! I am certain that Kai reciprocates your feelings, although I doubt he knows his feelings. Don’t worry; I will help him realize that, and after, I will tell you when—”

“That was not what I was going to say.”

“What else would there be to tell him?”

“That I’m changing my mind about resigning!”

“You’re— You’re staying?” She stared at his face that reminded her of a strawberry from how red he was. “You’re not lying, right?”

“I’m not lying. I didn’t bring you here to talk about...that. I brought you here—”

“You’re staying!” Toshiko wrapped her arms around him. He stumbled back a few steps from her sudden hug, but he didn’t push her away like the other times she tried to hug him. He was awkwardly patting her head, but she didn’t care. Damon was staying!

She knew Damon wasn’t a huge fan of physical touch, so she made herself pull away soon. When she did, she asked, “What made you change your mind? Weren’t you sure you were done with this part of your life?”

“I wasn’t done with this part of life.”

“Obviously, if you’re staying.”

“I meant... It’s that stupid drawing,” he sighed.

“The one I made?” She wrinkled her nose. “That drawing is so bad.”

“I know it’s bad, but...” After struggling with his words for a bit, he settled for, “I don’t know, I just couldn’t leave after looking at that.”

“If I knew I just needed to show you that picture to make you realize you couldn’t leave yet, I would’ve done that ages ago. Mochi, your resolve for moving onto a new part of your life isn’t strong.” His expression looked off to her. Guilty, he looked, and ashamed. Toshiko couldn’t help but ask, “Did you lie about why you were resigning?”

“To you and Kai. Everyone else who found out thought I had enough of Kai.”

“You didn’t bother to correct them?”

“That would mean I need to know the actual reason I’m resigning.”

She shook her head. “Mochi, I thought you were more professional than that. Quitting your job without knowing why? You were panicking about your crush on Kai, weren’t you?”

“I don’t—”

“I don’t want to hear any of it! I know Kai was part of the reason you were resigning, and I know you both have feelings for the other. Friends don’t spend thousands of years raising children together! Friends aren’t even godparents together! If you two got married right now, most people would be more surprised that you weren’t married before.”

Damon cleared his throat. “We’re not talking about this anymore, and we’re moving on to how to actually tell Kai about how I’m staying.”

She huffed. “Fine. We can talk about that. The answer is simple, though. All you have to do is just tell him. I’m not sure why you’re making this a big deal.”

“Kai will make it a big deal.”

“You’ve dealt with Kai for this long. You can find a way to handle that.”

He sighed. “It was a mistake asking you about this...”

“Maybe to you, but I am very happy about everything you told me.”

Telling Kai about the news might be a challenge to Damon, but they would move on from it fast. Soon, the two of them and Toshiko would get back to their version of normality. The future was looking bright!

. . .

Technically, Toshiko was eavesdropping again. However, she felt she had a right to hear Damon and Kai’s conversation about him staying. She was the one Damon went to for help, after all. Yes, she hadn’t given him the best advice in his eyes, but she also made a deal with Damon: He could tell Kai himself today, or she would tell Kai. It was obvious who would be the better person to break the news.

So, when they were watching the television showing a golf game mainly featuring a woman with a bunny visor yelling at everyone, Toshiko made an excuse about needing to look for something to help a costumer and ran up the stairs. Back in her hiding spot from the last time she eavesdropped, she waited for Damon to reveal his secret.

He did sooner than she expected. The way he randomly said, “I changed my mind about resigning,” wasn’t to her liking, but she could deal with it.

However, from how random it was, all Kai’s response was, “What?”

“I changed my mind,” he repeated. “I got approval to stay. We can still be godparents together.”

“You’re lying,” he said quietly. “You have to be. You can’t actually...”

“I’m not lying. But...if you don’t want that, I can—”

“No, don’t... Don’t try to leave again...”

Toshiko heard a sniff, then quiet crying. She risked taking a peek and saw Damon with his arms around a crying Kai. Neither of them said anything. There was a quiet comfort between them, the one that only came from knowing the other for most of your life.

Toshiko made sure she was quiet this time as she carefully made her way to her bedroom. This wasn’t something she needed to overhear.

. . .

Today was the day when Damon’s court case was supposed to be. Even though they all knew it was cancelled, the three of them still laid on the grass in Toshiko’s backyard and waited there silently like someone was going to come find Damon for not showing up.

The sun was setting. That showed that in the Fairy World, that showed the time for the court case had ended. Still, no one said anything for a while. Eventually, Damon broke the silence. “We’re never going to talk about this again.”

“Why?” asked Toshiko.

At his silence, Kai filled in. “He’s just embarrassed.”

“You did overreact.” Having a crush wasn’t scary, and from the way they currently were, they already spent so much time together that they might as well have been a married couple. Toshiko would have to find another day to deal with her godparents’ feelings for each other, and when that day came, she would make sure her godparents were happy with each other. She was a matchmaker—she could even be the best matchmaker—for a reason.

“I just said we’re not talking about this,” repeated Damon. “This topic will never come up again.”

Silence filled in the space after that. It didn’t last as long as before, though, when Kai said, “Toshiko, do you remember that one time when Damon wanted to quit being a godparent but came back before the day of his court case?”

“Shut up, Kai.” Damon’s voice didn’t have any of his usual annoyance in it.

“If you keep bothering Mochi,” added Toshiko, “he’s going to actually leave us.”

“I won’t.” This time, his voice sounded gentler.

Toshiko’s gaze was on the sunset. It was quiet. No one else mattered in the world except her and her godparents. Her mission had succeeded: She helped Kai and Damon make up, and she even did what she hoped but didn’t except to achieve, which was getting Damon back as her godparent. After such a tiring mission and crazy few weeks, she could use this moment of peace, and she knew her godparents would agree.

Kai said her old drawing made them look like a family. The families she saw always seemed to be close and love each other to the moon and back. She wasn’t like that with her parents, but she was sure she was like that a little with Kai and Damon. Speaking of the moon, she would love to stay outside for longer. They could treat it like they were camping, which could be a good excuse to have Damon make them more marshmallows. Kai would agree to do it if marshmallows were involved.

She, however, didn’t get the chance to tell her godparents about her fantastic idea. Another voice calling out her name came in before she could. That voice was annoying and sadly familiar.

Damon and Kai turned into toy balls as the door leading to the backyard opened. Tozu stepped out from inside the house. His red eye fixed itself on her. “What are you doing on the ground, Toshiko? You’re going to get dirty.”

“No, I won’t,” she said as she sat up.

“Right, you’re already dirty.”

“Just because I laid on the ground—”

“No, not because of the ground! You’re already dirty since you’re unfaithful. Do I really need to mention your third-grade boyfriend for you to remember?”

Toshiko’s heart stopped. “How did you get that information?”

“I have my ways. Speaking of having my ways...” Tozu’s voice lifted like he was smiling. “I have a friend named Mara! You haven’t met her before, but you will later. We’re going to see her!”

“What are we doing with Mara...?”

“It’s a surprise! It’s going to be so much fun! She has so many guns we can use!” Tozu went back inside and closed the door behind him.

Once he was far enough away, Kai turned back into his regular form and hissed, “That Mara girl is so going to kill you...!”

“I-I know...!”

Damon had transformed back to normal not too long after Kai. He added, “That’s why we’re here, Kai. We need to protect Toshiko.”

“But Tozu’s so scary...” He clasped his hands together. “Damon—”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re safe too.”

He beamed. “Thank you, Damon!”

Toshiko would have to postpone her and her godparents’ fake camping. Their moment of peace was over, but if Tozu was being the worst babysitter in the world, and Damon was the one who indirectly confronted him the most with Kai fearing Tozu more than Toshiko, then they were back to normal. As nice as the peace was, knowing that things were always going to be the same as always like now made Toshiko appreciate Tozu just a little. Heavy emphasis on the last three words.

This fic was fun to write because of the fact I felt like I was writing an elaborate fic about a child with divorced parents trying to get them back together, featuring Tozu. It was actually harder to write than I thought, since I kept running into dead ends and kept having to rewrite parts. Honestly, this feels like it would’ve been better in a multi-chaptered fic, but I can’t write anything like the adventures in Fairly OddParents. I’m now attached to this AU, though, so yay for that. Maybe. On the topic of my sister, I told her I would put this in the notes, so I will. When first I got the idea of a Kaimon Fairly OddParents AU, I was scrolling through TikTok for Fairly OddParents stuff to get a quick idea. All I got was reminders that mpreg is canon in The Fairly OddParents universe. Since the green one was pregnant, I was genuinely thinking of writing a crack-taken-seriously Kaimon mpreg Damon Fairly OddParents AU oneshot. I didn’t write it though since I probably wouldn’t be able to take it seriously and didn’t think you guys would want that. I felt like I should mention it though, so that’s where Kai saying he’s the dad and Damon’s the mom after seeing Toshiko’s drawing. My sister also told me to tell you all that I have finals coming up in less than a week, but I spent more time studying Da Rules compared to studying for my Math finals (I also have LA finals but they’re easy). Maybe if Math had less word problems more boys kissing, I’d feel more inclined to study.

[veryinnovative]

4, 6, 13, 15 [pandemonium or tarte tatin?] :)

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

for tt it's that line with remus and regulus that comes up to me first. like this fic is almost 300k words in total but this is the line i think of first: “Have I not given enough?” Regulus continues. “Is my life so invaluable that it can’t pay the price of his love? Even a second of it?”

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

im usually someone who goes for the visceral shit. the heavy angst or the sci fi and fantasy and everything outside of our reality. but tt is pretty tame compared to what i write even when it represent a big part of my life: my love for cooking and an understanding that even good intentions cause tragedies.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

one of the first songs that inspired me a little was daylight by David kushner. 'you and i drink the poison from the same vine' just hits so hard because it's literal and metaphorical. regulus drinks literal poison, all the while other characters have a poison of their own.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

honestly? so much. like actually so much. the longest original projects iv written were all around the 100-130k max and not fanfic at all so this was NEW waters. anyways top 3:

keep track of ur chapters and what happens in them. seriously. even if it's just bullet points. iv realized how fucking important storyboarding is. ESPECIALLY storyboarding future chapters. i rawdogged too fucking much in this fic and made writing it much harder than it was supposed to be

to go with the flow if you want but not be swept by the current. that happened too many times and the writers blocks were the price i paid. need to be ok with killing ur darlings sometimes! but also!! plotting ahead and knowing what u will be faced with eventually is important bc then it prevents those 'fuck i wish i had done xx instead' bc now ur at a point that doesn't make much sense and needs a lot of writing around to resolve it

don't go on twitter as a writer. not worth it. dont curiously look up the title (in my case this isn't a problem bc i just get pics of apple pie) some of these takes really have me froth bc like,, idk what u read brother but it was most definitely not one of my fics if that's your take

[hederasgarden]

Hey Ivy 💕 I’m looking for some advice. I want to get back into writing, I haven’t written anything in literal years. I don’t even know where to start. I know logically the thing to do is just….start writing, simple as that. Use the muse, find the prompt, just start. But every time I try I get so incredibly cringed out but my own work and cannot continue. This isn’t even to post it anywhere or share it with anyone, it’s just for fun and a hobby, I know it doesn’t even have to be good, but then I think if its not good and I’m literally not going to post it anywhere then why bother do it. Any advice would be most welcome 💕💕💕

It can be really hard to get back into writing after being away from it for a while, especially when you’ve built up expectations for yourself. I think the first question to ask yourself is why you loved writing in the first place. Was it a fun, relaxing way to unwind? Did you enjoy crafting plots, exploring emotions, or developing connections between characters? Or maybe you loved engaging with fandoms, interacting with readers, and sharing your work with others? If you can pinpoint that original why it might help. 

For me, one of the biggest driving forces is how writing makes me feel. It can help me relax and disengage from stressors in my life but there’s also something thrilling about building a plot, diving deep into a character’s emotions, and getting that cathartic payoff when everything clicks into place. However, there are plenty of times when writing makes me feel the opposite and I’ve felt like deleting everything and quitting. I’ll probably feel that way again at some point. Tomorrow maybe. It’s all part of the process. 

I also would like to potentially publish some original material someday so I approach writing fanfic as a way to hone my craft. But not everyone wants to do that and that’s okay. Writing can just be silly and fun. 

Anyway, here are two pieces of advice I’ve found helpful:

Have zero expectations for your first draft.

I often cringe at my first drafts—they always feel so flat, and I miss a lot of the imagery and depth I want to convey. But honestly, that’s okay. The first draft isn’t about being good. It’s about getting something down on the page so you have material to work with. One trick I’ve found helpful is setting a timer for 10-15 minutes, and allowing myself to write stream of consciousness without editing. You’d be amazed at how much you can get done that way. Once I have a chunk of writing, I’ll go back and tidy it up, fixing grammar and adding more description and emotions. I rinse and repeat until I’m satisfied. It’s like adding layers and depth to a drawing.

I think people might be surprised how long it takes me to get to a finished product. 

Find a cheerleader.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't find a lot of motivation and inspiration from the feedback and interactions I get. However, we all know interaction on Tumblr can be tricky so I’ve learned not to solely depend on it. Instead, throughout my time in fandom, I’ve built friendships with other writers and readers and I can’t tell you how much it helps to have someone to talk to about your work. Whether it’s sending them snippets of your story, brainstorming plot ideas, or just getting them hyped about what you’re working on, having that support can make all the difference. Let them hype you up. Seriously. It's a game-changer. 

I know it’s hard when you’re feeling self-critical, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Writing is a process, and sometimes it’s messy and you hate it at first but you have to keep showing up. Even if you write 10 words one day, that’s progress. 

My inbox and DMs are always open to talk anon. I hope you can rediscover your joy of writing.

[explorevenus]

Overall, what is your opinion about something permanent? Are you those type of writers that take their creations seriously, and I hope you're treating yourself well tho ^^

my opinion of sp ?? hmmmm

well i am really proud of it in the sense that it connected to a much wider audience than i ever anticipated. it's my longest work to-date and i've grown attached to it in so many ways-- fleshing out the psychology between both leon and darling's behavior has been a great challenge for me as a writer and i feel like i've learned so much from writing it, i wouldn't even know where to begin listing it all off.

i do very much take my work seriously. i get that it's "just fanfiction" to some people, but that doesn't take away from the hours upon hours upon hours of work that i've put into writing it, and planning out the plot, and proofreading, and revising, and answering asks, and everything in between.

when i first started posting my work publicly again a couple years ago it was a pretty big leap for me because i had a lot of insecurities around the fact that i wrote fanfic at all. now i feel like i'm in a place where i embrace it and am proud of what i write and i try not to be so hard on myself anymore. a lot of that is thanks to sp and the people who have taken the great care to read it and engage with it.

that being said-- i take it seriously in the sense that it means a lot to me, but just to be clear, i absolutely adore it and encourage people to interpret the story and its characters in whatever way feels right to them. no two people who read it imagine darling the same way, no two people who read it have the same opinion of leon. i love that there's so much debate about whether or not escape would truly be a good ending for darling. i just love this story and everything that has come from it in my life.

i hope that answers your question, and i hope you're keeping well too <33

[theoryandahalf]

I just realized I have literally no time & skill to write the Fnaf au/joking because it'd take forever

seriously though, why does everyone want to give students homework. I go to school , that should be enough :/

In a question I swear is relevant , team theorists as types teachers

MatPat would probably be English - don't ask my why he just gives english teacher vibes

I'm pretty sure there are studies that show too much homework is ineffective but don't quote me on it. Hang in there pal, fanfic can wait for the weekend.

I kinda agree Matt gives off Dead Poets Society vibes but I think he's said on record he hated English classes (was I the only one shocked that MatPat doesn't read?!). If he's teaching high school, yeah he's the AP Lit professor. If he's teaching college, he's the really young, oversharing Psych101 professor who's really cool but you also know too much about his wife, kid and cat, and his weekend hobbies. He's overcommitted on five hundred faculty committees and faculty Senate. He's won Teacher/Professor of the Year five times and he's not even 40 yet. In his spare time he consults for Google.

My other guesses:

Stephanie: Chemistry Professor or high school Chem teacher. God help you poor kids in her class, she's the strictest grader and the only time she unwinds is when Mr. Patrick sneaks into her classroom in between break periods. You know nothing about her personal life. Is she married to Mr. Patrick/Dr Patrick, or are they just friends?! Unless you have Mr Patrick and he overshares about her, you won't know, and you never will.

Lee: Bad ass History teacher all the way, in university and high school. He's also the advisor for the academic decathlon team. He's the chillest teacher ever and he'll let you sleep in his class. Just don't disrespect Tolkien in his presence.

Amy: Art teacher in high school, teaches fashion and design at the college level. She gives off 'mean teacher' vibes because most people only see her interact with Mr. Massa and Mr. Robinson and she often rips them a new one for being too loud and obnoxious. But she's actually fantastic to have in class and you learn a lot from her.

You also work your butt off. Don't take her as an elective.

Tom: ...I have no idea. I guess choir director? Tom is dyslexic and ADHD so teaching would be a hard profession for him. I can see him doing choir/show choir at the high school level though. He seems to give really good advice on his streams so maybe he's a school guidance counselor or adviser.

Santi: Physical education or kinesiology professor. He beefs with Mr. Robinson all the time because he keeps stealing his best football players for his stupid little drama club. Clearly PE is superior because there's more sports scholarships than there are art, so Tom is really just bringing down the entire school. Mr. Massa is also a very chill teacher, he'll let you skip class so long as Mr. Patrick doesn't notice you're not at the all school assembly (because he will notice).

Ash: The overburdened AV instructor/school librarian/media specialist in the Theorist high school. For college, they are the media librarian that just wants you to return the dvd copy of Return of the King, LEE. Ash never has enough money or time in any incarnation but they are the most cheerful and bad ass LGBTQ+ student club advisor you've ever had. Lies to homophobic parents and says they're just a gaming club because you do usually end up discussing FNAF lore for hours until Ms. Cordato knocks on the door to politely kick you all out because its 5pm.

BONUS

Head Editor Dan: Animation professor or creative writing teacher at Theorist High. Also does freshmen homeroom so he's constantly in pain and in need of coffee. Gives off 'don't mess with me' vibes but is a real sweetheart if you get to know him. But what you don't know is that he's pitching five different tv pilots and one of these days he will just randomly disappear because his show was bought by ABC. Ten years from now you'll see his name in the credits of your favorite show as the Executive Producer.

[real-life-senshi]

May I ask for your headcanons of Reinako’s relationship after canon? Could be for manga or PGSM!

Hello friend! Thank you for dropping by and giving me a prompt to gush on Reinako even more! XD

First off, here are two sets of PGSM Reinako headcanons for those who haven't seen them before. They are all connected. XD

Reinako Headcanon 1

Reinako Headcanon 2

And thanks to this ask, here is a brain dump of more headcanon:

PGSM Reinako Headcanon Part 3:

Timeline/stages of life of the Reinako development:

Following directly after the Final Act, during the girls' 3rd year in middle school, Minako was a bit awkward about how to act casually around the Senshi team. Rei helped her out the most before the group dynamic fully settled - e.g. never stopped inviting Minako even if Minako often needed to miss out on group plans due to work without making Minako feel bad (not that the others intentionally make Minako feel guilty, but they just try too hard, versus Rei doesn't make a big deal about it); calling Minako out when Minako holds back on sharing her candid thoughts or feelings with the team for some silly reason or due to occupational hazard of being an idol; calling Makoto and Usagi out when they fangirl too hard and was making Minako feel awkward, making it a struggling for Minako to balance building a genuine friendship or treat them as fangirls. (Ami was also a bit shy with Minako at the start, so Rei had to run some interference there, but Usagi and Makoto were the troublemakers.)

I struggle to make up my mind on which is the better high school scenario: if Minako went to Juuban with Ami, Makoto and Usagi just like manga canon, or because of her fame and celebrity status she ended up going to T*A academy for high school with Rei (better security because of all the politician’s and big businessmen’s daughters in the school, etc), Regardless, high school period is when Rei and Minako really settled as best friends, getting to the point they practically know everything about each other and would be in contact almost everyday.

By the 3rd year of high school approaching graduation, Minako starts to realize she has romantic feelings for Rei. She suspects Rei might actually reciprocate her feelings, except Rei is too dense to realize or too scarred by his dad's abandonment of Rei and Rei's mom to consider exploring a romantic relationship. Knowing both Rei's and her own career trajectory would take them away from Tokyo with limited contact after graduation, Minako decided to not broach the topic.

Rei and Minako drifted apart a bit after high school graduation until the Special Act. After the kiss at the hospital (see Headcanon Part 1), and then UsaMamo's wedding, they both matured enough to face their feelings and started seriously considering starting a relationship. They had to do a lot of soul-searching and shared really candid conversations to get through all the emotional baggage, personal barriers and doubts they both carried, but they eventually got there.

And then they live happily ever after following what I described in Headcanon Part 2. haha (My actual headcanon of post-Special Act Reinako is drastically different from my fanfic, coz apparently I thrive most in writing angst and battle. LOL)

High school era PGSM Reinako:

While Rei took the lead in helping Minako find her place in the Senshi team dynamic and getting comfortable with just being a normal teenager during their middle-school period, Minako was the one that instigated most if not all the shenanigans that led to their deepened friendship in the 3 years of high school, elevating their relationship from just-friends to best friend status.

I always imagined Minako pranked Rei by surprising her on a school visit at T*A to "check out options for a new high school". Minako and her manager Saitou Sugao are being led on a school tour by a nun, and when they spot Rei, Sugao (who is of course in on the prank with Minako) makes a whole scene of barging into the classroom trying to scout Rei into stardom in front of all of Rei's peers as if it's his first time meeting Rei and exclaiming he has found the next shining star of Japan, after Minako of course! Rei was absolutely mortified, though the Senshi team had a great laugh when Minako shared the story in their next hangout. Rei was not pleased.

Following the above headcanon, I headcanon that Rei achieves the same intra-school celebrity status by the time she enters her high school division, similar to how Rei is a school celebrity in T*A in the manga. The drastic change from live-action canon was first prompted by the whole stardom scouting fiasco Minako and Sugao caused. Secondly, Minako learned by chance that Rei was bullied at school throughout middle school through Usagi describing how she met Rei. When Minako confronted Rei about it, Rei just shrugged and brushed it off coz she was used to it and the bullies are practically harmless with more bark than bite, but Minako was still so upset about it that she went to post on her public blog (equivalent to celebrity Twitter/Insta nowadays) about how Rei's her best friend and the coolest, kindest person who helped her get through her illness and recovery, etc. She wrote a whole sob story narrative about how thankful she is for having Rei in her life and how Rei was a source of inspiration and a role model to her, etc. etc. and posted some photos she had taken with Rei. Suddenly all of Rei's peers see Rei in a new light and think she's the coolest and want to befriend her for a chance to also meet Minako. The teachers started actually addressing and punishing the bullies and the school atmosphere was changed anew. The whole deal freaked Rei out, while Minako felt very pleased with herself.

Once Rei joined the archery club in T*A's high school division, she gained even more fame from winning archery competitions at the district and then national level. Her achievement adds to the furor Minako caused, and the lowerclassmen in T*A practically fawn over Rei and founded a fan club with merch. Minako loves teasing Rei about it and secretly becomes a fan club member with platinum status from buying all the merch.

^ The fan club is how Minako knows Rei's archery competition schedule, coz Rei is too humble to ever mention it, and also because every time she gets way too embarrassed by how loud the Senshi team is when they cheer for her, because Minako makes sure the whole Senshi team is decked out with inflated thunder sticks and signs whenever they go cheer for Rei at competitions.

Other misc PGSM Reinako headcanon:

Rei's the one who always remembers and is mindful of Minako's distaste for whipped cream, and stops Usagi's rampage on getting strawberry shortcake for every Christmas because Usagi always reminisces on the cake she and Minako had on the Ferris wheel and forgets Minako’s actual food preference. Rei knew coz she actually paid attention to the lyrics in Sayonara ~Sweet Days.

It's very often Usagi and Makoto would drag the girls around town to try out a new cafe or shop that's selling some new sweet drink, pastry or snack (shaved ice, ice cream, crepe, cake, etc. the stuff you'd see people post on foodie social media). If Minako ever bows out of getting something for herself, Rei will make sure to buy something she knows Minako will likely enjoy so Minako can share some of hers (usually strawberry-flavoured coz that's Minako's favourite), and without fail Minako would take some of Rei’s 'just for a taste because she’s curious', and then inevitably eating half of Rei’s. lol And if Rei is buying something for Minako or knows Minako will inevitably take some from her, Rei would always also buy a bottle of water to accompany whatever crazy sweet things Usagi makes them eat/drink - and it has to be room temperature only, for Minako because Minako needs to be very careful with maintaining her vocal cords for singing.

Whenever Minako and Rei get into a serious fight but both struggle to reconcile, they both would separately go to Artemis and poor Artemis can usually help them sort it out after. But if things get really bad and they notice Artemis is feeling caught in the crossfire, Minako would then go to Makoto, and Rei would go to Ami to process their thoughts... or vent. Makoto and Ami's involvement becomes a yardstick of whether "shit's-hitting-the-fan" or not.

Manga Reinako Headcanon...?

I've not thought as much about the manga Reinako headcanon because I perpetually live in PGSM brainrot. But I do think manga Reinako eventually established a partners-for-life relationship in the manga universe as well.

Different from how I think PGSM Reinako eventually enters an openly romantic, crazy-in-love-for-each-other relationship (once they get over their personal crap), I see manga Reinako has a more subtle and delicate soulmate relationship that is built on deep partnership and mutual understanding in life and duty, especially considering their near immortality and role in Crystal Tokyo. Their relationship dances back and forth on the line of being romantic involved in their personal life, and being a kind of kindred spirit in their view and attitude towards their duty. They've dated, and fallen in love with each other, but across the years also realize sometimes they need space from each other to maintain healthy boundaries between private life and their duty. When they enter a break from each other, it's nothing bad and always with mutual understanding, done amicably - stepping away so they don't get "sick of each other" since eternity is a damn long time! But if one of them is ever feeling down or struggling with something, they are each other's default go-to person, their safe place, and they can discard their masks and break when they need it, especially when they start outliving their non-Senshi family and friends while the world they know of slowly changing and morphing into Crystal Tokyo.

Once they stopped aging, Minako would still try to find opportunities to enjoy life as a human when it's possible, while Rei was more comfortable just accepting fate and being Sailor Mars for life. When there's no crisis to deal with, Minako makes Rei de-transform and drags Rei out of the palace for a girls' night with her in the city.

I see manga MakoAmi to have a similar partnership as well. Though their way of showing affection for their partner is a bit more overt and less complicated than Reinako's. Rei and Minako are so interesting to me because I feel they are more polar opposites in some ways, yet both are so similar in how deeply layered their personality and backstories are that it complicates their relationship but also strengthens them.

[pikahlua]

Dude idk how you’re dealing with all these asks so well, I’m not even the one getting them and it’s infuriating me to see everyone up your ass with their own opinions about the ending looking for you to agree with them as if personal preference isn’t a thing that exists. Honestly it fucks me off how ungrateful everyone is acting when Horikoshi has given us such an incredible piece of LITERATURE, and I do mean literature, tackling such important topics when Japan isn’t best known for accepting “society sucks and needs to change” as a message. That man has worked his health into the ground to give us the media and characters and relationships that we all love so dearly, and everyone is too busy thinking they could write a better ending to bother appreciating him for it. Endings are NOTORIOUSLY difficult to write, I beg any one of your anons finds a long running story that ends completely satisfyingly.

And that’s not to mention the fact that most people’s criticism seems to be “why didn’t we get a wiki with the answers to every possible question I have ever had or will ever have”, that’s what FANFIC is for, assholes. Everyone in fandom is so desperate to know every single bit of information, which is FINE, but they forget that generally speaking that’s not what media is for. Imagine how dull books and shows and manga and anime would be if every single thing is spelled out for us, if nothing was left up to interpretation.

I think Horikoshi did a fantastic job at wrapping up a decades long story, and even if I didn’t think that I wouldn’t be out here trying to convince strangers on the internet that they’re wrong to like something, or that their reasoning is good enough reason to say some bullshit like “weird hill to die on but at least you’re dead” or whatever that whack ass anon said.

This was a long ass rant to say: you’re a better person than me, Pika. The way you patiently explain your thoughts even in the face of obstinate idiots is truly admirable and you deserve some cookies or some shit.

Thank you anon, hehe. I can only respond to insults with facts. I suppose that's the mask I've constructed for myself, the way I cope with confrontation that seems to work best for me. It's hard for me to take seriously claims that Horikoshi is a bad writer when such claims refuse to specify what about the writing is bad and why. I don't have reason to believe most of these people have done much study in the art of writing yet, but I do hope they get the chance to do so someday if only to give the rest of us some peace. I've only been lucky enough to have two formal courses in it myself and many years of on-and-off self-study. I'm far from an expert, but I feel confident I know enough to be able to tell when someone is bullshitting their way through it. Hopefully they can go forward in their lives with minds open to learning rather than spending their time hurling feckless insults at strangers on the internet. Fill your life not with hatred and inflexibility but with learning and curiosity. And cookies. Cookies sound great right now.

[outofconcheol]

Between The Mountains And The Sea (XMH x GN!Reader)

pairing: detective!Minghao x gn!reader genres/au/rating: angst, some fluff, sort-of mystery au, 15+ summary: In the seaside city, the ebb and flow of the tides is as constant as the presence of tragedy in Minghao's life. Until one day, the tides bring him you.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: Minghao is a detective investigating an un-aliving (referenced, no graphic depictions), unconventional detective-suspect-witness relationship, mutual pining and melancholy, OC is a different kind of femme fatale, alcohol use, (1) kiss

a/n: I watched Decision To Leave and it had me so effed up (seriously, it's amazing). I loved the dynamics between the two main leads, and for some reason, the visuals brought the Hai Cheng mv to mind. This is purely experimental, and it kinda reminds me of my rough early fanfic writing, but hopefully it's still an enjoyable read!

Minghao was nine years old when his parents had taken him up the mountain for the very first time. He cherishes the memory as though it were yesterday, still remembering the crackling in his lungs from the exertion, and their feet dangling over the edge while he happily munched on his mother’s cooking. 

“Remember Minghao,” his father had said to him, quoting an old verse from one of the many books that sat collecting dust on the shelves of his office. “The wise love the sea, the benevolent the mountains.”

He’d been so wary back then, an irrational fear seizing him - what if his shoe suddenly slipped off and was to fly through the air, only to hit some poor unsuspecting soul below? It was then that he decided the mountains weren’t benevolent after all, their harsh, jagged faces looming above the landscape, striking fear into people's hearts. 

And so, Minghao stayed away for many years. Until he met you.

He remembers the way you’d shuffled into the empty boardroom, so different from every other person he’d ever questioned. While normally their eyes were trained on the floor and their shoulders hunched, an indirect admission of some sort of guilt, you walked in, eyes level with his own. A challenge in them. 

While it wasn’t unreasonable for Minghao to question the widow of a deceased victim, you made him feel like it was. 

“You’re a hard person to track down, ___,” he mutters when you take the seat across from him. “You think you’d be more eager to come in and answer some questions given he was your spouse.”

“He was my husband,” you counter back, voice far too calm and steady for someone who was supposed to be in the harrowing stages of grief. “Not my life. I have a job, I have people I take care of.”

I am not benevolent. I like the sea.

Minghao’s father’s words come back to him when he looks at you, tempting and unknowable, your demeanor like the ebb and flow of the ocean tides that ravaged the coast a couple of miles away.

You lean over the table, inching closer and closer, and Minghao is transfixed, unable to draw back when he smells the warm hint of your perfume. You’re impossibly close, and he has to turn his head to remind himself that his colleague, Mingyu, had gone home for the night. 

“So Detective Xu,” you whisper in his ear. “Ask away.”

Minghao stands up abruptly, your curious eyes following the line of his body. Your eyes follow the line of his body, and he has to force his racing heart to calm down, reminding himself that there was a job to be done.

“Let me buy you dinner first.”

After that night, Minghao stops eating dinner at his apartment, the tiny box with the garish wallpaper making way for the sleek wood of the boardroom. His packs of ramen are exchanged for more extravagant meals - sometimes bibimbap, other times sushi, or on the rare occasion, zhajiangmian, his favorite. 

The two of you start off eating quietly, savoring the meals and tranquility amongst the hectic backdrop of your busy lives. It’s only when you’re both working to wipe down the table and put away the utensils and your hands brush against his – rough and callused against soft palms, that a chill runs down his spine – one he pushes to the back of his mind.

I’m working on the case, he’d lie to Mingyu when his partner questioned why he couldn’t join them for drinks, watching them clamber down the street. And then he waited. Waited until night had fallen and he could hear the drumming of your boots in the hallway, spotting the light blue wool of your favourite coat first, clutched in your arms while you wandered in, a coy smile on your face.

Instead, he learns that you’ve been unable to sleep in your bed since everything had happened, falling asleep to the sound of a different drama every night, a half-eaten pint of ice cream not far from your side. 

That’s why he buys you dinner, he convinces himself. You’re clearly in shock and unable to cope with your husband’s tragic passing. It’s not because you take his breath away, a formidable tempest in your blue coat, standing out against the foggy backdrop of the seaside city. 

It’s not because he also finds himself unable to sleep along with you, spending nights bundled up in his down jacket, staring at the twinkling lights of the houses across the bay, wondering which one is yours. 

He forgets to go home, falling asleep in his car, roaming and wandering the streets in the hopes of running into you outside the shackles of his job, so he can finally get to know you in the way he yearns to – not as a suspect or an informant, but as a human being.

. . .

Minghao heaves for breath, his legs buckling underneath him as he climbs the stairs one by one, chasing after a new suspect. He’d been disappointed when the captain, Seungcheol, called him into the office that morning, informing him that the case on your husband was closed due to lack of evidence. 

Minghao wanted to protest, to tell Seungcheol that you were worth it, but he realized how strange that would have sounded. And so he kept his mouth shut, being handed the next file for investigation, reading over the thief’s name – Soonyoung. The hours passed by, with him slumped over at his desk, until Mingyu is shaking him awake, telling him that Soonyoung’s been spotted and that they needed to split up and run after him — now.

The wind howls at the top of the winding road, Soonyoung cowering in the corner, and Minghao approaches the man, fingers lingering in case he makes a sudden move. His hair is matted with sweat, hands shaking as the handcuffs lock around the other man’s wrists easily, and he’s calling Mingyu for backup, ready to take the suspect back to the station for questioning. 

All of a sudden, bright lights appear from around the corner, the roar of an engine and then sputtering, the car coming to a halt. The door swings open, and Minghao isn’t prepared for what happens next.

“Hao? Is that you?” your voice calls out to him. Hao. You’d never called him that before. It was always Detective Xu, a respectful distance in your voice, reminding him of the gap between you two.

“Is everything alright?” you look from Minghao’s exhausted figure to the handcuffed man.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Minghao manages to hiss out, wondering how the universe could have given him his greatest wish, the chance to see you again, in the most inopportune of moments, where his duty outweighed his heart.

You nod, eyes shining with concern, but back away anyway, stumbling over a few rocks on the road before the car revs up again, driving away.

Mingyu arrives not five minutes later, the two of them leading Soonyoung into the car, and that’s when Minghao spots it – the tiny piece of paper. Glancing around to make sure no one’s looking, he picks it up. There, scrawled in hurried and messy ink – is an address.

He knows it’s yours, and that it can’t have been there by accident. Tucking it into his back pocket, he lets out a heavy sigh, preparing for a grueling few hours of questioning ahead of him. And then, the real investigation could begin.

“You came,” the door swings open before Minghao can knock, his fist suspended in the air while he stares at you in shock, unable to say anything. He doesn’t know if he’s more shocked or you’re more shocked that he actually showed up. 

“I made food,” you usher him in, and immediately, the smell of your cooking hits him, reminding him so much of his mother’s. He’s slipping his shoes off before he can think, and downing three shots of soju not even five minutes later.

It’s different from when you met before, because Minghao is in your home, your space. It’s different because he’s five shots of soju deep, and spilling information he shouldn’t be sharing with anyone about cases that should never see the light of day. Anything from petty thievery to crimes of passion.

You follow along with interest, pausing to nod at his declarations and add in your own theories.

“I don’t know about you Hao.” There it is again. You reach over with your spoon, pausing to take a bite from his bowl, and Minghao feels his throat go dry. “But it’s not a crime to like someone just because they’re married. If it was, the whole world would have been in flames by now.”

Minghao sputters, choking on the steaming rice that clogs the back of his throat, and your eyes are staring at him once again, deep and solemn. How would you know, unless…

“You’re tired,” you take his hand, pulling him up with you. “Please sleep.”

Minghao focuses on nothing but the warmth of your hand as you lead him down the hallway until he’s enveloped by darkness, falling backward onto the sheets of your bed. 

“Close your eyes,” you whisper to him, and he feels his gaze become heavy, the ceiling of the room that’s not his blurring into soft focus. “Pretend you’re in the ocean, floating along the waves…”

Your voice is hypnotic, drawing him to a lull, and Minghao thinks it’s so easy to love you. He wonders why your husband couldn’t have stuck around long enough to do so. 

He remains awake long enough to hear your voice go impossibly soft, asking a question to the darkness.

“I want your heart, Minghao. Will you give it to me?”

Soon enough, time ceases to exist in the quiet seaside city. The days at work begin to blur even further for Minghao, desolation creeping up his spine when he realizes that in his line of work, there’ll always be a tragedy with no happy ending.

He scribbles notes furiously in his journal, watching the passerby from the bus, when all of a sudden, there’s a shadow who takes the seat in front of him. It’s you, in your blue coat. The two of you hadn’t spoken since Minghao fell asleep in your bed. He’d spent many sleepless nights afterwards wrestling with your whispered words.

He’d never given his heart freely to anyone before, but something about you made him want to try, just this once. Even if you had nothing to give back.

“Your hands,” you finally break the silence. “They have blisters.”

Reaching over, you grab his hands in yours once again, and Minghao marvels at how gentle you are, reaching into your pocket for your hand cream. The smell of flowers and almonds permeates the air, the cold cream making him jolt, but soon enough, it’s soothed by your touch, thumb rubbing circles against his palms. 

It’s far too intimate a gesture for Minghao to wrap his head around, and all he can offer in return is chasing down a man selling balloons when the two of you exit together. He offers a red one to you, and you accept.

“Why me?” Minghao asks, watching you twirl the balloon around in your palms, eyes lighting up in glee. 

“Because you listened.”

He should have known it was all too good to be true, watching the grey clouds roll in on the coast. Mingyu had been on his case for months, asking him where he disappeared off to, why his focus wasn’t there. 

How could Minghao focus, when he remembers the way you’d giggled at the aviators hanging off his shirt, putting them on his face with a smile? 

You’d left without a trace, taking all your memories with you, from the lip balm you’d stolen from his coat pocket, to the files that had been swiped from his work satchel, containing precious evidence from your husband’s case.

How could he focus when he’d felt a taste of happiness, only for what felt like mere moments to pass, leaving him collapsed and broken. 

He knows the storm is on the way, rain pelting him, the waves crashing against the shore, their whispers becoming screams, but he drives, drives, drives, chasing the memory of you, until it leads him to the mountain. 

Tall and deadly, a solitary figure against the thunderous sky. Minghao fights the downpour, abandoning everything behind him, and he begins to climb.

He doesn’t know if it’s minutes, or hours later, when he stumbles to the top, collapsing from exertion. You’re alone, perched against a rock, looking off into the distance. He remains there still, unable to move, though he longs to know what secrets you hide.

“I’m afraid of heights,” your voice echoes out. “That’s why I like the sea - it’s chaotic, unpredictable. It can wash away everything, even all the bad memories. That’s why I married him.”

“Because someone like you would never want me, Minghao. Someone who doesn’t hesitate to scale a mountain in search of the truth. Someone kind, and dependable. A force to be reckoned with.”

“You don’t get to make those decisions,” he seethes, turning you around to face him. His hands run up your sides, and you shiver at his touch. “To decide who’s worthy of what.”

“What if I told you that my happiness is the tube of lip balm you stole from me, or a red balloon floating in the wind? That yes, maybe I’m the mountain, but only because I want to be, so the waves don’t take you away from me? That maybe we’re just two lonely souls, who’ve never had anyone really know us the way we know each other.”

“You don’t know me,” you tell him, clutching onto his coat.

“Then let me,” he takes your hands in his, pulling you closer to him. Around you, the mist thickens, but you pay it no mind, fisting the damp hair at the back of Minghao’s neck, your lips seeking his. 

When dawn rises, you remain in the comfort of his embrace, your broken souls finding peace in each other, somewhere between the mountains and the sea.

a/n pt. 2:  As always, any comments or feedback are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi &lt;3