#life has been a lot lately and i’m sorry i’ve been MIA

[bad-surprise]

https://youtu.be/s3v1dAca4bc?si=HH6fnr0hw0sS0gP-

I cried my eyes out bc of this video and it's almost funny how normal people and bitym melted together deep in my soul. Paul Mescal's anxiety and modern AU Halbrand, pls, shake hands.

And ofc their LOVE. THE LOVE. Both killed me in the best ways 🥲

oh my goodness i think this is the best normal people edit i’ve ever seen 😭 now i really want to rewatch/reread it.

it’s so staggering to have something i wrote mentioned in the same sentence as that story, even though it was a conscious influence on but i thought you might 🥲 normal people means so much to me and (at risk of sounding like a broken record and annoying anyone who might see this) bitym feels intensely personal and has so much of myself in it, so receiving this message nearly a year after posting the final chapter is overwhelming in a good way and it’s absolutely made my day.

thank you so much for sending this, you don’t know how much i needed it right now 💛

[hamiltonaf]

Can you do one with Kylian being very jealous of yn all the time and every time she talks to a guy friend he gets mad and makes a big fuss about it and yn gets tired of him and wants to leave him but then he gets upset and begs for forgiveness but she is so tired of his bullshit and want to take a break from the relationship but after 1-2 months they get back together and he got jealous again so she wants to know why he is like that and it turned out that his ex girlfriend cheated on him multiple times so he had trust issues and she assured him that she wasn’t going to do the same thing

Trust Issues | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.1K

Warnings: Minor angst

A/N: Hii loves ! I’m finally back. Apologies for being MIA, I had a lot going on, plus I had writers block. I’m sorry in advance if the end is disappointing - I honestly feel like I forgot how to write lol. If you’ve sent a request before, please note that I’m working on it. Anywho, enjoy .xoxo

Never thought I’d come to a point in life where I had to cut off all my guy friends for Kylian’s sake. I’ve told myself in the past that if I had to face that in a relationship then I’m walking out. Mentally I’m playing hangman with Kylian’s name.

I love Kylian, I really do, it’s also cute at times to see him get jealous but when it comes to a point when he tells me that I need to stop talking to my guy friend then I don’t vibe with that. He’s basically saying that he doesn’t trust me.

We’ve fought, he apologised, I looked past it for us to move on, but he just crossed the line.

I went out for a friend’s birthday dinner, Kylian decided to stay back and chill at home, though he promised he would pick me up after. The birthday dinner felt like a reunion as some of us were seeing each other after years, it was great catching up with everyone, especially Daniel. Him and I were really close growing up as our parents were good friends, but since I moved and was with Kylian I rarely attended gatherings.

It was getting quite late and Kylian was delayed, I didn’t bother rushing him since Daniel was accompanying me and we were just catching up on lost time. We were stood outside the restaurant, dinner had just ended, some had left and others were in their own conversations. “So how are things going? What have you been up to ?” Daniel eagerly asked. “Well, I’m in my final year of studying so it’s been a bit much but I’m coping. How are things going for you ?” I replied. “Life is great. Can’t complain” he smiled proudly. “Still running your parent’s empire I suppose” I smiled. “Nothing has changed” he grinned.

“Good for you Dan. You’re living the dream” I half laughed. “I’m living the dream ?” He scoffed. “Yeah of course ! You’re travelling literally every other month, flying first class and living the good life” I said. “Yeah but you’re the one dating the football player !” He stated. “Speaking of him, let me just check how far he is” I paused to check my phone if perhaps Kylian called or messaged. Nothing.

Just as I locked my phone, my head turned when I heard a car rev in the distance, he’s here. “Oh look. There he is” I said as both of our heads snapped to Kylian pulling up beside us. Daniel leaned towards the car as Kylian rolled down the window, “Hey man, I’m Daniel” he introduced himself. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kylian” Kylian shook his hand. “Heard a lot about you. We should meet up soon, I’ll message (Y/N)” Daniel suggested. “Yeah sure” Kylian said lastly. “Take care bro” Daniel said before pulling me in for a hug. “Bye Dan. Until next time” I murmured. “Until then. Ciao” he said as his hand rubbed my back before breaking away from our hug.

I got into the car and immediately I could feel the tension in the air. “Hi baby” I smiled as I leaned in to kiss his cheek. He didn’t say anything or react, he just remained stiff. I knew what was coming and I wasn’t ready to face the drama for the umpteenth time. Choosing not to say anything in the car until we got home was the best decision. The second the door shut, he didn’t surprised me by being the one to bring it up. “What was that ?” He raised his voice. “What was what ?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Who even was that Daniel guy ? I was there for only a minute and I could see the way he was looking at you. You both seemed to enjoy that hug a little too much” he said. I scoffed, “Are you being serious right now ?”

“Do I look like I’m joking ?” He yelled annoyed. “You have honestly lost it !” I yelled as I turned my back on him and stormed towards our room. “(Y/N) I’m talking to you !” He yelled for me as he followed me to the room. “How the hell can you say we enjoyed that hug a little too much. Are you trying to call me a cheater ?” I raised my voice as I turned around to face him. “You’re just putting words into my mouth. My point is that if another person had seen you both together, they would think you’re a couple. I don’t want you seeing him again” he said.

“You know what Kylian ? I’m done” I huffed. “What do you mean done ?” He asked baffled. “I mean that I can’t do this anymore. I can’t continue being in a relationship where my own boyfriend doesn’t even trust me or allows me to talk to other guy friends of mine without assuming I’m cheating. I’m living a lie by staying in this relationship. Go find yourself a girlfriend that you can control because I’m not that girl” I said before getting a bag and packing it with my belongings.

“Babe please don’t do this. I swear I’m not trying to control you. I’ll admit that I got jealous, okay ? But please don’t go. I love you so much, what will I do without you ?” he pleaded and tried to stop me from packing but I continued.

“No Kylian ! Today you literally crossed the line, I couldn’t care so much for the other guys you said I need to stop talking to, but the fact that Daniel and I go way back and now you want me to cut off our friendship ? He’s basically apart of my family because his parents and my parents are friends. Kylian…I’m so tired honestly of us going back and forth. It just bothers me that Daniel attempted to be your friend in that minute you met but instead you ignore all of that and insinuate that I cheated ? Get some help because I need a break from your shit…this has gone past jealousy” I said in anger, I didn’t have it in me to cry.

“(Y/N) please. I’ll change okay ? I’ll do better. But please don’t go. Please give me another chance” he begged. “Kylian I gave you way too many chances. I can’t believe how long I’ve dealt with this and didn’t leave sooner” I said as I zipped up my bag. “So that’s it ? You’re just going to throw away a 2 year relationship ?” He asked. “All I know right now is that we need space away from each other. I love you Kylian, I do, but I think it’s best for the both of us” I pressed my lips together as I threw my bag over my shoulder. “So we’re over ?” He asked teary eyed. “I- please don’t make this harder than it already is” my voice cracked as I looked up in hopes that my tears would disappear.

“Babe you can’t give up on us. We’re meant for each other” he said as he grabbed my hands and rubbed small circles at the back of them. “Kylian, consider this a break rather than a break up. We can both wisely use this time to focus on ourselves…if we’re meant to be, we’ll find our way back to each other.”

Those were the last words I’ve said to him face-to-face. I left that night and ended up staying at my parent’s house. They were surprised to see me and were quick to ask where Kylian was, I just lied that he’s travelling for an away game. 2 weeks of staying with my parents raised suspicion and they figured out that something was wrong, my mom especially. I told my mom exactly what happened and luckily she took the hint to not talk about it.

Not a day passed that I didn’t receive a message from Kylian. Countless ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ flooded my phone daily, it wasn’t easy taking this time to focus on myself when he was on my mind all day. Whilst making his message clear, he indirectly would ask for us to talk it out and as much as it hurts, I refused. No point in us getting back together if he’s going to go back to square one.

After about a week, I caved in and started replying back to his messages. Eventually easing in to phone calls and FaceTimes. It’s been 3 weeks since that day I called on a break, today I decided it’s time to meet and talk things out.

He seemed sincere and genuine when we met, of course I couldn’t help but give him another chance. We were meeting for one week as if we were in love all over again and after that one week, we’re back together.

Daniel was in town and he wanted to meet up, I happily accepted his lunch invite and was looking forward to rekindling our friendship. Kylian was at training so I thought I’d get ready in the meantime until he was back.

“Ma chérie !” He called as he entered. “In the room, Ky !” I yelled. He came into the room and whistled behind me. “You look beautiful” he said as he placed a kiss on my neck. “Thank you babe” I blushed. “Where are you going ?” He asked as he walked over to sit at the edge of the bed. “I’m going out for lunch with Daniel” I said casually. “Wait, what !” He asked as he stood up. “Why ? I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t see him ?” He said as he changed his tone. I dropped my mascara on the counter and stood up, “Are you back to this nonsense where I can’t have guy friends ?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Do you not know how the story goes about childhood guy friends falling for their girl friends ?” He stood up to stand arms length away from me. “No, Kylian ! That’s not how the story goes. Do you not know it takes two people to be in love which hello ? I’m obviously not.” I said as I started to grow angry. “(Y/N), you don’t know how a guys mind works” he said as he shut his eyes for a second. “Before I walk out of this relationship one more time, could you care to explain your reasoning behind why I can’t have guy friends ?” I raised a brow. His face softened when he heard me mention walking out.

“Babe please no . I’m sorry” he rushed over to me to hold my hands in his. I pulled my hands away from his grip, “Explain Kylian…I can’t continue entertaining this.” He sighed and dropped his head before mustering up the courage. “I have trust issues because of my ex” he admitted. I was shocked. “Well, what happened ?” I asked curiously.

“I trusted her and was never one to question anything she did until I found out she cheated on me with those guys she called her friends. Soo…I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst, I was heartbroken and felt betrayed. It’s been hard for me to accept having trust. It’s not you babe, I promise I trust you, I just fear that your guy friends will convince you to leave me and walk away from our relationship. I can’t bare losing you, not again after the break” he said as he got emo. “Aww Ky” I pouted as I pulled him in for a hug. We never left each others embrace for a few minutes until Kylian broke away to kiss my forehead.

“I’m glad I got that off my chest. You deserved to know. I love you so much and I’m sorry for my behaviour. I’m trying to be a better boyfriend for you after our break so please be patient with me” he pouted. “I get it now. Thank you for being honest babe” I gave him a quick peck on his lips. “You can go out with Daniel, I won’t stop you any longer” he sighed. “Look, as your girlfriend, I want to help you through this. Remember Daniel suggested you guys going out ? Well why don’t you join us, I’ll send him a message and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. That way you have an idea of what Daniel is like and you have a peace of mind. Also, it’s not just about trusting Daniel, I would like if you and Daniel could be friends. I mean the man is practically family” I half laughed before sending a message to Daniel. “Shame I feel bad now for hating on the guy” he sighed. “Well what he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him” I winked then sent the message.

[kakiastro]

Chilled Astrology Observations

Hey y’all! You good? I’m sorry I’ve been MIA lately, I needed a break from everything for a while. While I’m still taking a break, I will start to post more content back up. I’ll be doing schedule post instead of mostly live ones.

So this a chilled post, so sit back and relax. These are just observation so if it don’t resonates then let it fly.

Libra Placements

-I believe the reason why libras has a hard time making decision’s is because they can see all sides to things. They have the ability to see the perspective of different point views and find them validated. So what happens, they struggle to pick a side because both sides have a point. They need to lean into their sister sign energy Aries and make a concrete decision. Now it may not be the right decision but you picked one based off of what you think is fair and just. Why do you think so many judges have libra or heavy Venus energy in their chart.

-I feel like Libras is more of a socialite than Leo’s. Leo’s are good with people due to their warm nature but libras are just naturally charming to everyone they meet. Everyone knows them but in the same breath, they can create a lot of enemies. Libras are sweet but don’t underestimate them, they can quickly turn into their sister Aries real quick. That passive aggressive energy is scary chile

Capricorn Placements

-most Capricorns but particularly Capricorn risings definitely has had a Mars type of upbringing. They have an Aries 4h so that’s where the Mars energy is coming from. It’s like the line from Sophia from the Color Purple “All my life I had to fight” because they have. Risings in particular had to learn what it means to be independent at a young age. It’s also weird because even though they were independent at a young age, they were heavily restricted. This is why so many of them are considered late bloomers because as they get older, the more freedom they have. Once they start having financial and physical freedom is when it starts to look up for them. Their 30s is when their lives actually start for the better. Aquarius is one sign over which rules their 2h of money.

-Capricorn Suns go through this but there’s a little different process. Most of their restriction growing up was trying to figure out who they are in the world. They may have looked up to lots of elders like grandparents. Much of their identity was created by the elders they looked up too. This is why Caps have “old person” energy about them because that’s who they looked up to as children. Cap Suns growing up may have a small view of the world until they start to see the world and have a spiritual awakening. This usually happens around 23-25ish, heavy on 24. 24 is considered your 1h protection year. It’s also your Jupiter return so trying to figure out who they are in this world

Pisces placements

-I’m probably about to make a few Scorpio placements mad but I feel like Pisces people are way more mysterious than Scorpios. Every Scorpio person I’ve met were actually very bubbly and open. They just naturally have this intense energy but they’re not scary people at all! Now Pisces, it’s like trying to understand the depths of the ocean lol. Y’all are hella mysterious and brooding. Pisces, I swear y’all live different lives everyday😅. Pisces moons and risings are the hardest to read for me.

Synastry

-Moon/Chiron, so if you have this aspect with anyone, you all trigger and heal each other. The Moon person soothe the Chiron person wounds. It’s like when our moms hold us after we get hurt “it’s gonna be alright hunny” type of energy. The Chiron person feels validated but also feel open with sharing those wounds to the moon person. Now the Chiron person can trigger the moon person to work on their own healing. Chíron brings up the things the moon person has repressed that needs to be healed. Depending on the person, if the moon is open to healing and working on themselves, then this can really be a beautiful aspect. If not, then the moon person can lash out emotionally and it can cause riff in the connection.

-Sun/Moon, this is one of my favorite aspects! The Sun person sees the emotional needs of the moon. The moon person sees the Sun for the beautiful person they are. The luminaries see each other because they light each others world. How beautiful is that🥹

Sagittarius placements

- sag people, y’all need to take breaks from the world. I noticed sag people can really feel the weight of the world on their shoulders to the point it messes up your psyche (Scorpio 12h). Sag is ruled by Jupiter which rules over world affairs. It also rules over mass media. I’m not telling you to completely shut the world out but take breaks and ground yourself.

[missmaywemeetagain]

Well hello there my babies! I’m deeply sorry I wasn’t able to post Broken Glass 11.1 here as planned yesterday…between navigating some ongoing health issues and having a sudden death in the family this weekend (I swear, this July (year) has been exhausting utter madness), I literally didn’t even realize I had forgotten to post until just now! It is unlocked HERE over on Patreon for free, so you should be able to read it easy-peasy (hopefully 🤞🏼) and eventually when I have more energy, I’ll post it here and on AO3.

Thanks for your patience! Like I said, things have been wild lately (hence why I’ve been MIA a lot), and I’m barely holding on to life life-ing at the moment. 😵‍💫

Loves and kisses 💋

[dannyricsmirrorball]

fic poll ੈ✩‧₊˚

okay so sorry for being kinda MIA lately,, i’ve just been busy w school and life but i’m on break so might be a tad more active. i have been working on stuff but kinda get bored or forget to complete them so i’m letting you all choose!

these are the fics i’ve started/almost finished already so let me know which one you’d like to see first so i can prioritise it and get it out ASAP!

here’s a little synopsis of the fics ;)

our secret • ls18

reader has been lance’s best friend for as long as they can both remember. everyone wants them together but what if they’ve been soft launching the whole time..?

brother’s best friend • gr63

it’s all in the title lol but basically reader is alex’s sister and is always tagging along with him and lily. george and the reader are also really good friends but lately they’ve been suspiciously hanging out a lot more…

everything has changed • jd14

reader is australia’s pop princess and also very close friends with australia’s resident golden boy daniel ricciardo. fans get excited at the prospect of their fave pop princess becoming a wag and off with the shipping wars. some are in the know but some are shocked to learn that she has a lost childhood friend in aussie f2 driver (and mate of danny ric) jack doohan, is it just a rekindling of friendship or is something more on the horizon?

3 peas in a pod • dr3

reader is longtime best friend of mclaren golden boy lando norris. daniel, lando, and y/n famously get on like 3 peas in a pod. fans have been shipping the reader with both boys, some adamant that she is just too young for daniel and that childhood friends to lovers will prevail whilst others are sure that lando is strictly a friend. as it becomes increasingly clear that y/n is dating one of them, how will these ship wars effect these long time friendships and relationships.

always an angel • jb22

fans quickly realise that f1 world champion jenson button and famous victoria secret angel y/n y/l/n are an item. most are ecstatic at the iconic pairing whilst some are jealous and delusional. whilst the pair are very much in love, the constant undermining of y/n as an individual or even a human being is starting to take a toll.

also i promise that tying the knot p4 will be out eventually,, i’ve just had a bit of a lull w it and thought i’d try out some other stuff first xx

thank you!

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 21:

I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

"You’ll be driving?" Charles voice sounded muffled "From Neuburg to Spielberg?"

"Yeah, it’s not just me, Felix as well. We’ll do a little road trip, maybe we put cameras in the car, conversations between a team principal and his driver." I chuckled a little, searching for my socks in my suitcase.

"I know your road trips. It’s just old music and you singing along. Or Taylor Swift and you singing along." he panted and then I heard a loud bang "Fuck."

"What are you doing? Are you okay?" I asked sitting down on the bed, putting the phone on speaker, laying it next to me, to pull on the socks.

"I’m dressing up. I overslept and now I’m late." Charles said "And I have your socks."

"I noticed, because I have yours… I don’t like them." I mumbled grabbing my sneakers, slipping in.

"I don’t like yours! They’re so thin! And too small." he said and I chuckled.

"Well and yours are too thick! And too big!" I said and he laughed.

"Whatever. So. Spielberg. You’re driving with Felix. Tomorrow, early in the morning?" Charles said.

"Yup. And just so you know, we’ll be listening to good old Classic Rock! Singing along. Dancing." I said and got up, walking over to the mirror to cover up my jaw.

"You definitely need a camera in there!" Charles laughed "Oh, and talking of cameras, Netflix will be with Ferrari this weekend."

"Ooouuuh! Sorry Mr. Drive to Survive." I said.

"Ha-ha. Very funny. It’s a little sad that they weren’t with you last weekend! That would’ve been an amazing episode!" Charles sighed and I packed my make-up away.

"I mean… they filmed me once or twice before. They just never were officially in our garage? Audi is not fancy or prestigious or successful enough I guess. Although Julie told me they want a special episode or something just with me, but I said we’re a team, so that’s not gonna happen!" I plopped down on the bed.

"Hmm. It could be interesting, an episode about you? To give some insights of the life of a female F1 driver? Maybe talk about how hard it was as a girl? Maybe that attention would help girls in motorsport?" Charles retorted.

"Great. Now I feel bad that I turned them down." I sighed and he chuckled.

"I’m sure Julie could talk with them, I mean if you really want to!" he said and I shrugged my shoulders.

"If it’s focussing on girls in motorsports and how tough it was to make it into F1? I’m in. Everything to help promote girls in motorsports!" I should had to talk to Julie.

"That’s the spirit!" I heard a car door slam shut "Wait a second, I won’t hear you when I start the engine and my phone connects to the car… can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear!" I got up and grabbed my bag, leaving the hotel room "You’re having a meeting with Mattia first, you said?"

"Yeah, Mattia and Laurent as far as I know… I kinda know what it’s about…" he said hesitantly.

"It’s about us, right? About what Laurent saw?" I almost whispered.

"I guess so, he didn’t say anything the whole weekend, so I guess he told Mattia and now we’re having the talk." Charles sighed a little and I felt bad.

"I’m sorry… if we wouldn’t keep this a secret you wouldn’t have to have this meeting now.” I said as I left the hotel.

"Stop it. I’ve seen what they write about you… us! Us as friends… I get it, okay?" he said immediately and I got in the car "But I’m here now…"

"Okay, then- umm… good luck? I don’t know what to say, to be honest!" I leaned my head back, closing my eyes.

"You don’t have to say anything, cara mia. I’ll call you later, okay? I love you! Bye for now!" and with that he hung up.

"I love you too." I whispered and started the engine, driving off the parking lot to the Audi facilities.

When I arrived at the gates I was surprised to see a little group of fans waiting for me and my heart warmed. One of the securities was trying to wave me through but I stopped the car and got out.

"Hi guys! What are you doing here?!" I asked them and they began to cheer.

"We’re here for you! You won! Congratulations!" a young girl screamed and the rest of the little crowd cheered even louder.

"We were hoping that you come here today!" a guy said and I smiled at them.

"You guys are awesome!" I honestly didn’t expect this.

"Can we take a picture with you?" another girl asked an I nodded.

"Of course! I would love to!" I stood next to her and posed for a selfie with her.

I took a lot more selfies, signed shirts, caps, poster and flags. I talked with every single person and didn’t wanted to make anyone feel left out. All while holding back tears. Of course I saw some fans at the races here and there, even knew about some fan accounts on Instagram, but I never expected fans waiting outside our factory for me. Almost like the Tifosi wait for Charles in Maranello. And I received a whole bunch of new bracelets, a scrapbook and even a doll, that looked like me. I was overwhelmed with their outpour of love and support.

"Okay you guys, huddle together I want a picture with all of you guys!" I said and the little crowd all squeezed together, I handed the security guard my phone and he took a picture "Thank you all so much! This means the world to me! I love guys! Have a safe trip back home, okay?!" I said and got back in my car.

"Kick some asses in Austria! Have a good race weekend!" they all screamed and I smiled at them.

"I will do my best! See you guys!" I waved one last time and drove through the gate, parking right next to where Felix was waiting for me.

"Lizzie! You’re late!" he opened my door for me and I smiled sheepishly at him.

"I’m sorry! I kinda lost all sense of time there…" I grabbed my phone and got out of the car.

"So you saw your little mob of fans waiting for you?" he said and closed the door of my car. I smiled and nodded.

"Yeah! How cute was that? God I love them! How long have they been waiting?"

"I have no idea. A while? But now come on in, we’re really late and have a lot to discuss!"

"Okay?" I said hesitantly, following him through the faculty, he unlocked a large door with his keycard and as soon as it opened a whole bunch of people applauded, Marcus being one of them.

"What is going on here?" I asked surprised.

"Well we wanted to give our race winner a very warm welcome!" Julius Seebach, CEO of Audi Motorsports smiled at me, shaking my hand "We’re all very proud of you, Lizzie! You and Valtteri have been representing us so very well! Right now we’re in P4 in the constructors! Only 8 points behind Mercedes! As a new team! Great job!"

"It wasn’t just me, or Valtteri, it’s this whole team! Every single one here! This is our win!"

"I don’t like sprint races…" I mumbled and Charles laughed.

"I’m not the biggest fan either, but it’s like this."

"Quali on a Friday feels weird." we walked towards the pits as someone shouted my name.

"Lizzie! Oi! Wait for me!" I turned around and Paul came running up to us "Hi! I thought we could walk back together?"

"Umm? Sure?" I said a little confused and Paul smiled at me, looking at Charles.

"I think we haven‘t met yet? I’m Paul. And you are…" he extended his hand towards Charles who shook it once "I’m just kidding! Of course I know who you are, Carlos!"

Charles clenched his jaw and opened his mouth to answer "I’m just messing with you, Charles." Paul laughed and slapped Charles on the shoulder.

"Very funny." Charles pressed out then turned to me "See you after quali? Good luck out there!" he pinched my side gently and I smiled at him.

"She won’t need luck! You Ferrari boys need it!" Paul laughed even louder and Charles looked at him and I thought he was contemplating what he should answer, but he just nodded and walked away.

"What was that?" I looked at Paul who just shrugged his shoulders.

"I’m just messing around. I didn’t know that he was so… so uptight?" Paul laughed and started walking.

"He’s not uptight."

"Okay. Noted. Carlos is the funny one out of the Ferrari guys!"

"What?"

"I had a laugh earlier with Carlos… Charles maybe is just not getting my type of humour…" he held up his hands.

"Well, yeah I didn’t get it either then." I said and walked away.

"Lizzie! Wait!" he grabbed my arm "I’m sorry, okay? I was really just joking! I’ll go and apologise to him?"

"No, it’s okay. But keep this kind of humour to yourself maybe from now on?" I said firmly.

"Promise!" he said and I nodded, walking to JK.

"Can we warm up a little?" I said and walked past him.

"Sure?" JK followed me back outside "What’s going on?"

"Nothing." I grumbled and JK adjusted the rubber bands around my head "All is good."

"Alright. I won’t say anything. But you know…"

"I can talk to you if needed. I know. Thanks."

Qualifying went good, really good, setting the second fastest time in Q1 and the third fastest in Q2. But then came Q3. Or rather the, according to Paul, funny one out of the Ferrari boys.

"Did he just overtake me in the fucking pit lane?"

"Yeah. He did."

"What the fuck? Did he never hear of the Gentleman’s agreement?"

"Apparently not. No."

I drove out on the track, starting my out lap, warming my tyres when Carlos began to drive slower in front. Then accelerated again just to brake again.

"What is he doing? I can’t warm my tyres like that?"

"Just keep going."

"Is someone coming from behind?"

"Hamilton, Max, Perez. Fast laps."

"How far away?"

"Don’t overtake him."

"But…"

"Lizzie. Hamilton behind. Closely followed by Max and then Perez. You can’t overtake before they all passed you."

"Yeah but then I’ll be almost in the last corner. Do I have time for a second out lap?"

"Negative."

"FUCK. Verdammte Scheisse! Sorry!"

"It’s okay."

It wasn’t okay. Far away from okay. Because of Carlos I couldn’t get enough temperature in my tyres and now I had to try and set up the fastest lap with only half warmed tyres. I watched as Carlos in front accelerated again and did the same. Pushing as much as possible as soon as I crossed the line and started my last attempt on a good grid position.

"And that’s P5."

"Ok."

"P1 Max. P2 Charles."

"P3 and 4?"

"Perez and Sainz."

"Awesome." I laughed. What else could I do. At least I wouldn’t have to start on the same side of the track. I could try to overtake him right at the start, before he could try to pull some shit again. I drove back into the pits. Climbed out of my car, congratulated Max, Charles and Checo, then did my weighing. I saw Carlos behind, joking with Lando and gritted my teeth.

"Walk off." Jo Bauer said in German and I looked up "Just walk it off." I nodded and he smiled a little, before the almost stoic look on his face returned. I did what he said and walked back into my garage, where my team waited for me.

"We will talk to the stewards. I’ve never seen a driver impeding another driver during their out lap. But still." Felix said but I shook my head.

"Don’t. I’m not whining and bitching about everything, like he does. It’s okay. I’ll do the talking on track."

"Are you sure?"

"100%."

"Hey Lizzie. You’re starting from P5 in tomorrow’s sprint race. Not the result you hoped for, after a strong Q1 and Q2?" ESPN Spain.

"Yeah. I mean, I had a certain red car in front of me, making my life not the easiest. But it’s okay. P5 is not too bad."

"There was a little squabble between you and Carlos, what happened?"

"What happened was that there is an agreement and someone decided to not give a fuck. And then someone decided to deliberately slow me down during my out lap, so yeah warming the tyres didn’t work out as planned."

"Carlos said it’s a gentleman’s agreement, so it applies only to gentleman’s."

"What?" I was 100% that I misheard it. I had more downs than ups with Carlos. But this? This was a low blow. I swallowed. "I mean, I thought it was an agreement between all drivers. Regardless of their gender."

"What is in for you tomorrow?"

"I don’t know. But as long as I’m in front of car number 55, I’m considering it a win." I shouldn’t have said that. I should not have said that. But fuck it I was furious.

"Are you out of your mind?" Julie groaned as soon as we left the media pen "Goddamnit Lizzie! You’re giving me a big fat headache and it’s only Friday! For fucks sake!"

"I want to see his interview after our meeting." was the only thing I said and walked off.

I kinda felt like it was a set up. Like the interviewer wanted to rile me up. Carlos wouldn’t say something like that in front of the cameras, right? Except that he indeed said it. I replayed the interview over and over.

"You didn't follow the gentleman's agreement there with Lizzie?"

"Yeah because it's an agreement between gentleman's…" emphasis on the man. And he laughed. Laughed.

"You’re kidding me, right? You did not say that! In front of a camera! You’re not that stupid!" Dad walked into my driver room, looking livid "Lizzie Doetterer! You know that if you just breathe into his direction tomorrow he will whine about it and use this interview against you!"

"Uh-huh… I know. It was a trap. And I was too blind to see it. ESPN Spain. How stupid can someone be?" I groaned and leaned back "I just know that there is a shit storm brewing up on social media."

"Then don’t read it! You have to be careful in the race tomorrow! He’s starting in front of you! Don’t let him make you do anything stupid! Stay calm! Leave him enough space! You know that he’s the first to complain!" Dad sighed and sat down next to me.

"Do you think we can leave? Or does Felix want to have a word with me alone? He was pretty calm and collected during the strategy meeting…" I looked at him and he chuckled.

"No, he said it’s fine. Well not fine. But it’s okay. We can leave." Dad got up and I grabbed my bag "

I turned on the shower and got in, sat down on the floor, hugging my knees up to my chest and laid my head down. The warm water cascading over me. I was tired. Exhausted. But more from the games the media still tried to play with me, than with anything else. The Spanish press has set their target on me. The questions on Thursday. Then today. And I played right into it.

"Good fucking job." I groaned.

"Lizzie?" Charles walked in and looked around, before he spotted me on the floor of the shower "Shit! Are you okay? Did you slip?" he opened the shower door and stepped in.

"I’m okay! I’m just sitting here! I didn’t slip, or trip or fall! I just sat down!" I assured him and Charles nodded.

"Okay! Good." he got up, his clothes soaked.

"Take them off and come in." I smiled up at him and he didn’t need to be asked twice. In an instant he closed the shower door and sat down next to me, lifting me into his lap.

"Hi." he kissed my shoulder, pushing some wet strands of hair out of my face "Why are we sitting in the shower?"

"I was too lazy to stand? I just wanted to sit under the water and relax a little? I know, I know. What a waste of water…" I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck. He chuckled a little and I felt the vibration in his chest.

"We’re saving some water by me taking this shower with you instead of us doing it separately!" Charles stretched his arm out and grabbed my shampoo and conditioner in one go. Before he reached out for my shower gel "Here, let me…" he carefully carded his hands through my hair, entangling them, then squirted some shampoo in his hand and began to gently massage it into my scalp. He worked the shampoo down my lengths and then kissed my forehead before he tried to rinse out the suds "Can you grab the shower head? The stream from the rain shower isn’t strong enough. Perfect. Head back. There you go." He continued his ministrations until all the shampoo was gone, then he worked some conditioner in my hair and bundled them together at the nape of my neck, reading the back of the conditioner bottle "90 seconds… okay. I didn’t see you after quali?"

"Yeah I tried to leave quietly…" I mumbled.

"Hmm. It was a dick move from him. From overtaking in the pit lane, to slowing you down and then saying that shit in his interview…"

"I still shouldn’t have said that! It was a trap! He wanted to get a reaction out of me! And stupid me did just that!"

"You’re not stupid! It was in the heat of the moment and that reporter took full advantage of that!"

"Yeah and I played right into his cards…" I sighed and Charles grabbed my chin, tilting my head up, to look at him.

"Guess what? You’re human? You have emotions and sometimes they’re getting the better of you… don’t worry about it! Please?" he smiled at me, pouting a little and I nodded "Merci, mon amour." he kissed my cheek and grabbed the shower head again, washing the conditioner out.

"You’re next!" I said and grabbed my shampoo, massaging it into Charles’ hair and scalp.

"Mhhh I’ll smell like you." he whispered and his warm breath fanned over my ear, making me shudder. He chuckled a little but let me finish washing his hair, then I used only a couple of drops of conditioner and worked it in his hair "My hair will be just as fluffy and shiny as yours! People will start to wonder why my hair looks this amazing tomorrow!"

"They will ask you what products you’re using." I joked and he laughed.

"My girlfriends… and then they all go crazy, because I’m using women stuff!"

"I think they would go crazy because you dropped the bomb that you’re not single anymore."

"Possible… but nope I think it’s the hair products."

"Idiot."

"Hey!" Charles pinched my side and began to tickle me, holding me tight with his other arm to his body, no matter how hard I tried to wriggle out of his lap "Okay stop…" he let out a breathy groan and I grinned, feeling exactly what was bothering him "Stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what?" I pouted a little and he groaned again, grabbing my waist, holding me down to stop me from moving. I felt his hard length press into my thigh and grinned "Seems like you’re having a little problem."

"Little?" he scoffed.

"Big? Huge? Gigantic?"

"Better."

"If it helps you sleep better at night…" I teased but regretted it instantly, his hand dipped in between my legs, my breathing hitched.

"Seems like I’m not the only one who has a little problem, no?" his eyes darkened as I quickly shook my head, trying to gather myself when his next move elicited a soft moan from deep within me. I pulled his face closer, breathing ragged. "Say it." My eyes widened with every flick of his fingers. "Just admit it…"

"You’re not the- the only one…" I breathed out.

"That’s what I thought…"

"Charles…"

"Hmm?"

"Please…"

"I got you, pretty girl."

"Not at all creepy." Charles groaned as he opened his eyes and I chuckled.

"What? In romance books and movies it’s always cute, watching your boyfriend sleep."

"Yeah no. It’s not. So stop."

"So you never watched me sleep?"

"I did."

"And?"

"You’re adorable. Always having a cute smile on your lips, then that smile turns into a thrown and you scrunch up your nose and eyebrows, just to smile again… and your cute, little snores. Adorable!"

"I’m NOT snoring!" I tried to slap his arm but he caught my hand mid flight and pulled me onto him in one swift move.

"Yes you do, just every now and then. And so adorable! It’s the cutest!"

"So, you watch me sleep and it’s adorable? I watch you sleep and it’s creepy?"

"Uh-huh! You got it!" he kissed my cheek, working his way down my jaw before he stopped, eyes widened "Fuck! Lizzie!" he sat us both up, switching the light on "Fuck! Why didn’t you say something?"

"What are you talking about?" I was confused.

"Your jaw! Fuck! I was too rough, I’m so, so sorry!" he looked ashamed and it dawned on me "I grabbed your jaw way too tight! It’s bruising already! Why didn’t you say that I hurt you?"

"Because you didn’t! Okay? Look at me, Charles. That wasn’t you! It’s all good! Look closely! It’s already healing, they’re not fresh! Look here, my wrist as well…" I showed him my wrist and his eyes widened.

"Who did this to you?" his voice dripped with anger and worry.

"Two little monsters… when we were having a tickle fight… sometimes they underestimate their strength a little and the fact that I bruise pretty fast didn’t help! You know how my thighs and arms used to be sprinkled with little bruises from Liam? Him grabbing my arms, or trying to stand in my lap? When he was a little munchkin?" I laughed and Charles took a deep breath.

"Did it hurt?" he tilted my head up a little to look at my jaw "How did that even happen? Were they holding you in a chokehold?"

"No, it didn’t hurt and it was more me grabbing Liam trying to do a wrestling move and him just grabbing onto something to not fall… nothing bad at all, no pain, no nothing!" I reassured him as best as I could.

"Why didn’t I see the bruises before?"

"Make-up? And my wrist? I don’t know?" I shrugged my shoulders and got up.

"Okay… but I think I have to have a word with these little rascals…" he laid back, checking his phone.

"Please don’t, they will feel bad and I really don’t want that! Nothing happened, it didn’t hurt, so we just should keep it like that…"

"You’re right… but Lizzie? If I ever hurt you or be too rough? You’ll say it, right?" he looked at me intently.

"Of course… but I like it… you know…" I smiled suggestively at him and disappeared into the bathroom.

As soon as the door was closed I took a deep breath. Blaming Liam and Benji was so wrong and I felt bad. But it was the only lie I could come up with fast enough and Charles seemed to believe it. At least now I didn’t have to cover it up first things first in the morning. I sighed and began my morning routine, getting ready for the day, when Charles walked in.

"Look at my hair, from now on I’m only using your stuff, cara mia." Charles carded through his fluffy locks and I smiled.

"You look just like a dream, pretty boy. My stuff is your stuff. And now hurry up, we have an eventful day ahead of us!" one last kiss on his cheek and I walked out.

After the free practice I grabbed myself an apple and a bottle of water and met up with Charles to watch Arthur’s sprint race.

"He’s starting from P9?" I asked Charles as we watched the cars line up again after the formation lap.

"Yes. I really hope he has a good race!" Charles said and I nodded along.

"I have a good feeling!"

"Then I trust your feelings!"

We watched with anticipation the race start and how Arthur overtook 2 cars right at the start.

"Good job!" I cheered and Charles next to me clapped excitedly, as we saw the yellow flag being waved, both checking the huge screen in front of us "What happened?"

"There at turn 3, a car stopped… oh safety car." Charles pointed at the screen.

"Oh, as long as it’s not Arthur…" I mumbled and I could see Charles smiling a little.

As soon as the safety car was ending and the race started again we watched how Arthur fought his way to the front lap after lap.

"He’s in P5 now! He can do it! He can make it on the podium!" I jumped up and down.

"Yeah if he stays focused like this!" Charles leaned forward as Arthur breezed past us. He fought hard with his teammate, Bearman, and another driver, Maloney, and the three of them went wide, at the corner exit of turn 3 Bearman and Maloney touched which resulted in the latter to retire and brought out another safety car.

"This race is stressing me out more than our races!" I looked at the screen again, that showed a replay of the incident, Charles pulled me to his side nudging my shoulder a little.

"Don’t stress too much, you have a race of your own later." he chucked as we watched how the safety car came back to the pits.

With 7 more laps to go and Arthur now in P4, his fight with Colapinto for P3 was on. IT was a back and forth but in the final lap Arthur had passed him and due to a lock up from Colapinto managed to gain a little space between them, making him taking the checkered flag in P3. Charles and I jumped excitedly up and down, hugging each other.

"He did it!" we both screamed and we happily made our way to the barriers where Arthur would park his car any moment. Rene Rosin and some of the PREMA crew stood there, waiting for Arthur.

"Lizzie! Charles! Good to see you two!" he hugged as both happily "He did an amazing job! Fantastic! You can be proud of him!"

"He was amazing! What a race!" I said and watched how Arthur parked his car, jumping out, pumping his fists back and forth. As soon as he spotted us at the barriers he ran up to us and Charles hugged him close.

"Amazing race, Arthur!" he said and patted his back before he released him and I hugged him tight.

"Fantastic job, Arthi! We’re so proud of you!"

"Thanks guys!" Arthur said, his voice muffled through his helmet. I let go of him and he hugged his team.

We watched how Arthur got his trophy and cheered the loudest as a reporter from Sky walked up to us.

"Charles, Lizzie. A word to the race and your brother’s result?" he asked.

"It was an exciting race, for sure and we’re proud of Arthur, finishing in P3." Charles smiled wide.

"He did an amazing job, a good race from him. It always feels special watching the F3 and F2 races, knowing that’s where we were a couple of years ago ourselves." I smiled.

"It gives these young drivers maybe even a little hope, seeing F1 drivers watching their race?"

"I mean, if we made it, they can make it as well!" I said and Charles nodded.

"Thank you guys! And good luck in your own sprint race later on!"

We smiled and left, making our way back to the paddock.

Charles POV:

"Charles? Hey?" Andrea pinched my arm and I flinched "Ready to warm up?"

"Yeah…" I watched how JK and Lizzie warmed up for the sprint race, Paul sitting on a table watching them. The way he eyed Lizzie’s every movement. Undressing her practically with his eyes. I hated him.

"Well then?" Andrea sighed and sat down "What is going on with you?"

"What?" I asked, eyes still trained on Paul, who now stood next to Lizzie, his hand on her arm, laughing. Why was he always touching her? Andrea followed my look and chuckled a little.

"You know that she loves you more than anything? You don’t need to be worried!"

"It’s not her I’m worried about… it’s him! I hate him." I groaned and Andrea got up and patted my back.

"Trust her. That’s all you can do. And now come on!"

"Yeah, yeah. You’re right." I sighed, one last look at Lizzie and Paul. Lizzie looked up as if she felt my eyes on her and she smiled at me, that smile that was only meant for me, her eyes sparkling, cheeks slightly pink. God I loved that smile. Loved her.

"Charles? A word?" Mattia waved me over and I put down my helmet.

"Yes?"

"About the race… no more about Lizzie."

"What’s with her?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"You heard what she said yesterday?"

"You heard what Carlos said? Saw what he did?"

"That’s not the point." he rolled his eyes.

"It kinda is." I retorted.

"Charles, she’s mad and we both now her good enough that she can be reckless. So if Carlos manages to overtake Perez and Lizzie manages that as well and is behind Carlos again, we want you to switch positions. To protect Carlos."

"You’re kidding? Right? Lizzie might be reckless, but she’s not stupid? She wouldn’t do something that could potentially end her race as well! And why do I have to give up my position? I’m fighting with Max! I can’t focus on what’s going on behind me!"

"You focus on Max, of course! But if we see that you can’t catch him, then we must protect Carlos, you will switch back positions in the last lap."

"And does he know that, too?" I walked away, grabbing my helmet.

Unbelievable. They really thought that Lizzie would be this stupid? And not just that. They wanted me to give up my position to protect Carlos? As if Lizzie was out for his head?

"Charles? Ready?" Alessandro said and I nodded.

But was I really?

"Stay away from Sainz! You hear me? Stay away. Try to overtake him at the start, right away. Don’t get into any stupid fights!" Dad said and I rolled my eyes "Lizzie!"

"Little one you know he’s right! It’s Sainz! You will just be wheel to wheel and he will whine! They have a solid reason to believe that you’re out for his head!" Felix tried to reason with me.

"I got it, okay? I stay as far away from him as possible!" I groaned and grabbed my helmet, nodding to Matt "Don’t worry! I’m not that stupid!"

Until I was.

After I overtook Carlos at the start, he attacked, aggressively. More than once pushing me off the track. But I didn’t retaliate and now he was in front again. After clipping my front wing.

"Lizzie 9 more laps to go."

"How’s the car?"

"It’s okay."

"He pushed me off! I was in front! Way ahead! And he pushed me!"

"We saw that."

"Is it under investigation ?"

"Not as of now."

"He did that move at least 3 times! And I always backed down!"

"We know."

"Fucking hell."

I was furious. I was keeping my calm. Not fighting back because I knew they would bitch about it in no time. But they’re not even having a look into the last laps incident? He didn’t brake at all, clipped my front wing, still not backing down? I accelerated. If he can drive dirty. I could too. Although I had to do it cleverer. I was at his tail. DRS enabled. I got one last gulp of slipstream and pretended to overtake him from the outside. Just like anticipated he wavered onto the outside as well to block my attack and I braked hard to switch sides, going down the inside. The good old switcheroo. As I was almost ahead he steered into me, forcing me into braking. But not this time. I backed down time and time again. This time I wouldn’t. I pushed the throttle fully through and we went wheel to wheel, I pushed hard and felt the contact, felt how I hit the kerbs hard, felt the car tumbling but was able to keep it on track, forcing him to brake to prevent more damage. I was ahead, speeding away. Fuck yes.

"Gap to Sainz?" I radioed but no answer.

"Gap to Sainz?" I repeated.

"1.8"

"Good." Out of DRS range, 6 more laps to go. I will finish ahead and that would be a P4 I could live with.

"Lizzie. You’ve got a 5 seconds penalty for causing a collision."

"Of fucking course."

Actions have consequences. And here they were. Served in the form of a penalty. After being pushed off the track, getting my front wing clipped. Without whining and bitching. Without my team asking the racing director why his attacks weren’t under investigation.

"Gap?"

"2.1, his front wing is damaged."

"How many laps?"

"5"

"Gap now after every lap."

5 more laps for 3 seconds. I did more back in F2. Full focus now. Hitting the apex of every corner perfectly. Late braking. Using the kerbs. It was possible.

"3.5"

4 more laps for 1.5 seconds. Easy. Done.

"3.9. Perez ahead 1.2"

3 more laps for 1.1 seconds. I could maybe even get into the DRS range of Checo.

"4.2. Perez 1."

2 more laps for 0.8 seconds. And I was almost in Checo’s DRS range.

"4.5. DRS Perez."

Bingo. Last lap. I used Checo’s slipstream, pushed as hard as I could. Made it in front of him, taking the checkered flag.

"Gap to Sainz, 5.1 seconds. You did it Lizzie. That’s P4. Wonderful job!"

"FUCK YEAH!"

"5 seconds penalty but still managed to stay ahead of Carlos, good job!" Timo Glock said as I went to have a little talk with Sky Germany after the sprint race.

"Yeah well, I tried my hardest to gain that position." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Why didn’t your team complain earlier to the stewards? He pushed you off 3 times?" Peter Hardenacke asked.

"I don’t need them to sort out my race. And apparently they didn’t want to do it anyways. So why cry about it?"

"Ferrari asked immediately after the fourth contact…"

"Yeah if they need to do that? If their driver can’t pass me without help? Let them. I was backing down 3 freaking times, got pushed off the track, had also a damaged front wing. But I was beating him fair and square. And like you said I managed to make up one position although I had a penalty. Good day in my books."

"Good day indeed! Good luck for tomorrow!" Timo said and I smiled.

"Thanks guys! See you!" I handed them my microphone and walked back into our hospitality.

"I’m proud of you!" Dad sat in the lounge scrolling through his iPad "You didn’t say anything too controversial. Oh what is that look… Lizzie?"

"I might’ve been a little petty when talking to Sky Germany. Nothing too bad. I promise."

"You’re giving me a heart attack one day!"

"Oh come on papa bear! You can handle it!" I laughed as Pete walked in "Quick debrief?"

"No. You’re summoned by the stewards." he said and I stopped laughing immediately.

"What for? They already gave me a penalty during the race?"

"I don’t know. Felix is already waiting."

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." Charles gentle voice coaxed me out of my slumber and I turned around, cuddling into him "I didn’t hear you coming back last night?"

"The meeting took forever and then I…" I stopped and sighed.

"And then you what?" he began to draw figure eights on my waist but I shook my head.

"I sat at the track for a while."

"Alone? At night?"

"Yeah. I wanted to get a clear head."

"Carlos? The FIA?"

"Everything. The last weeks were… a lot. That article. Hans death. Silverstone. Now this."

"We’re almost done with the first half of the season, mon amour. Then we’ll have summer break. Time to relax. Recharge the batteries. Time for us."

"I haven’t even thought about the summer break to be honest."

"But I have. The first week it’s all of the family together. The second week it’s us and our friends and the last week? Time for us. It’s all already planned, you don’t have to worry at all."

"You already planned it all?"

"I hope that’s okay?" he sounded unsure and I tilted my head up, looking at him.

"It’s perfect. You’re perfect." he kissed my head and checked the time.

"As much as I would love to stay here forever like this, we have a race to attend. So come on now, pretty girl. Shower, breakfast and let’s go."

"Lizzie?" Dad peaked inside and I looked up.

"Yeah?" I bent down again, lacing up my sneakers.

"Did Felix already tell you that there are some VIP guests here?" he asked and I sighed a little, getting up and checking myself in the mirror.

"Yup, he did. That’s why I applied make-up as you can see and why I took care that my braids look good… don’t worry, I’ll woo them." I rolled my eyes, grabbing my team hoodie and pulling it over my head, careful not to mess up my hair.

"What?" Dad looked confused.

"I mean, VIP guests? I thought I should look my best, represent Audi the best as possible?" I said and grabbed my phone and sunglasses "So I’m wearing the Audi sneakers, team hoodie, the Audi sunglasses, would there be an Audi jeans, I would wear it."

"Okay… I mean, you don’t look different then on any other race day but… anyways, let’s go." he chuckled a little and I followed him, good to know that all my efforts where for nothing apparently.

As we walked into the garage I saw JK and Sissy talking to a man and a woman, whose backs were facing me, I looked around, but couldn’t see Liam anywhere.

"Pops? Where is Liam?" I asked and he looked around.

"Ahhh! There she is! Lizzie, come over here!" Sissy said and I walked over to her as the two people she was talking to turned around and I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Hi Lizzie! It’s so good to see you again!" Susi Maier smiled at me and her husband, Marco, did the same. I was at a loss of words when someone hugged my waist and I looked down.

"Lizziiiiiieeee!" Luka had the biggest smile on his face and I felt tears stinging in my eyes, I bent down and picked him up. Held him tight to my chest. The images of him shellshocked on the street, the fear in his eyes when I tried to shield him off, his faint whimper when we came to a halt on the grass, the tears streaming down his face when he lifted his head up. It all came back.

"Luka? Wh- what are you doing here?" I asked and watched how his parents, Sissy and JK smiled at us.

"Your Dad called and asked if we want to come here, finally see you race in F1… of course we had to say yes!" Marco said and I nodded slowly.

"This is… the best surprise ever! Thank you guys so much for coming!" I sat Luka down, wiping the tears from my face. My heart was racing and I felt hot. Too hot.

"I thought you could show them around a little? Show them your car? I’m sure Luka would love to have a seat in it, right?" Dad said from behind me.

"Can I really sit in your car?" Luka asked with big eyes and I nodded, still trying to calm myself down a little.

"It’s so cool sitting in there!" Liam said as he walked in with Charles, sporting his all consuming smile, shaking hands with Susi and Marco, introducing himself.

"I’m so happy to meet you!" he said and Susi blushed a little, something her husband acknowledged, and gently put an arm around her waist.

"Is it allowed that a driver of another team enters the garage?" Marco asked, sounding really curious.

"Well, Charles is the only exception!" Felix answered as he walked up to us, patting Charles back. He looked at me intently and I knew that he could sense how overwhelmed I was, although I was trying to hide it. He walked over to me, gently cupping my cheeks and wiping away the last of my tears.

"Are you okay?" he whispered and I nodded slowly "If you need a moment?"

"I’m okay. It’s just… a lot. But a positive lot!" I smiled and he nodded, kissing my forehead "Careful, where not alone."

"I don’t care, not right now." he smiled a little and then stepped aside "If you need me, call, text, scream, whatever. I’ll be here! Okay?"

"Okay… thanks, really!" he only nodded again and walked away, not before ruffling Liams hair when passing him.

"So! Who wants to sit in my car?" I asked and Luka jumped up excitedly.

"Me! Me! Me!" he screeched and Liam tapped his shoulder and they ran off to my car.

I waved to the crowd when the flatbed was making his way around the track, watching how between all the orange here and there a Germany flag was waved. I watched how Charles got interviewed and had to smile at how he was so enthralled in talking about the upcoming race. His passion and love for racing was one of the many things I admired at him. The way his eyes lit up when asked about how he’ll manage to overtake Max and win the race. The way that fire in him brought out his raw competitiveness. I was so engrossed, listening to him that Seb had to wave his hand in front of my face. I blinked confused and looked at him.

"Earth to Lizzie… are you there?" he laughed and I shook my head.

"I’m sorry! I was lost in my thoughts…" I said and he cocked his eyebrows, turning slightly to look at Charles.

"Lost in the pretty boy, you mean…"

"Yeah… I mean look at him? You can’t blame me…" I chuckled and he nodded.

"So, the kid running around with Liam? He’s the one…" Seb began and I nodded "Is it the first time you saw him after?"

"Kinda… they came by when I was in the hospital. But then they moved to Australia, where Marco had a new job. We texted every now and then… then they moved back home and with me racing now in F1, there was just not enough time I guess?" I explained and he scratched his beard.

"Nice that they’re here, supporting you. The kid and Liam seem to get along pretty well?"

"Yeah, which is weird? Liam is… well he’s a bit difficult when it comes to other kids? But him and Luka?" I smiled. It was true. Finding new friends was never easy for Liam. Being way too hyperactive, but also very sensitive, other kids mostly ended up being deemed no friends. Seeing him getting along with Luka that well, really made me happy.

"Pretty girl? What are you thinking of?" Charles whispered into my ear and I flinched a little "Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!"

"It’s okay, I was thinking about Liam and Luka because Seb… where is Seb?" I looked around, Seb now getting interviewed, looking at me and laughing a little.

"You’re a little out of it today? I mean after…" he began and I just nodded "It’s okay. You can’t always have everything under control."

"When do I ever have anything under control?" I sighed and he chuckled.

"Lizzie, another podium today for you, it’s your fifth podium in your eleventh race, you had a pretty good first half of a season for a rookie. How does that feel?"

"Fifth? Umm- okay. How does it feel? Unreal? Unbelievable? I honestly have no words for how amazing this season is going… the team works so hard for Valtteri and me, hours and hours of hard work in the factory. Everyone here at the track from the logistics guys, to the mechanics, engineers, media guys, strategists, god the amazing caterers! Everyone works so incredibly hard! I’m just more than proud to be a part of this team! I will be forever thankful for the opportunity, the trust, Felix and the whole Audi team gave me… so yeah, that’s how it feels. Fucking amazing!" I said and Charles smiled at me, eyes bright, after his fifth win today.

"Matthias Bircher, from Auto, Motor, Sport. Question for Lizzie, you’ve been penalised and fined by the FIA yesterday, once for the collusion with Carlos during the sprint race and then for your interview after quali on Friday. Do you think these punishments were justified? You didn’t seem to care much about it?"

"I honestly think it’s ridiculous. I’m getting fined for being mad about the very sexist comment of another driver, doesn’t matter if he said it as a joke, in that moment it wasn’t one, while he’s not being fined? Then I get a penalty for having the upper hand while overtaking? Whereas he pushed me off track 3 times before, clipping my front wing? Without a penalty? And then reporting back to the stewards that I deliberately crashed into their driver, because I said it beforehand that I would target him? When did I say that? So no, I don’t think any of that was justified, but you were right. I didn’t care much for it."

"Laura Killigan, motosport.se . Question for Charles and Max. What do you think about the penalties? Do you think they were deserved?"

"No. They weren’t deserved. I understand why Lizzie said what she said? Not just that it was a low blow, even if it only was meant as a joke, it was also something that happened at quali. He overtook her in the pit lane and then kinda impeded her on her final out lap. I totally understand that Lizzie was furious! So if you want to fine her, then Carlos should be fined as well. As for the sprint race, I saw the replay and must say I wouldn’t give a penalty for any of the incidents? But if Lizzie get’s one, Carlos again should’ve been penalised as well. They were both fighting hard." Max said and looked at me.

"I think Max said everything there is to be said. Punish both or no one. The way it was handled was unfair." Charles put his microphone down and tilted his head in my direction.

"No more questions? Alright, that’s it. See you all in two weeks at Paul Ricard. Thank you!" Tom Clarkson ended the press conference and I jumped up.

"Will you guys make use of your right to appeal the decisions?" Max asked when we walked back and I shook my head.

"Nope. We’re not doing that. I don’t want this farce going on longer then needed. It’s 10.000,- Euro and 2 penalty points. We accept it and it’s done."

"But it’s unfair. Ca- umm Lizzie! You really should appeal!" Charles said, clearing his throat at his almost slip up.

"I understand you, it’s annoying and takes up time you could use otherwise." Max shrugged his shoulders and I nodded.

"Exactly!" I groaned and Max hugged me as we stopped in front of Red Bull.

"Chin up and don’t care. You let your results speak for yourself." he gave Charles a little pat on the shoulder and was gone.

"I’m sorry that Ferrari were behaving like… well yeah like that." Charles mumbled a little and I bumped my shoulder into his.

"It’s not your fault. I finished ahead of Carlos in both races. That’s a win in my book. Now cheer up a little. We’re having a little celebration tonight." I smiled at him and he nodded, hugging me tight.

"I really can’t wait for tonight… especially if you wear that little, black dress I’ve seen in your suitcase… you’ll look gorgeous!" he whispered in my ear and I blushed a little "See you later, cara mia."

The whole drive from Neuburg back home I only had one thing on my mind: Netflix. A three part mini series. Drive to Survive Originals: The story of Lizzie Doetterer. I honestly had no idea what to think about it. They wanted to highlight my way from karting over Formula Regional, to GP3, F2, then to WSeries and finally into F1. How hard it was as a girl coming this far. The challenges I had to face. But they also wanted to see my private life, past and present. How could I provide that? There was already enough of my private life splattered out for the world to see. What were the boundaries? Did I have a say in what was filmed? What would make the Final Cut? I had the words of the Netflix representative in my head "Think about the money." I never really cared for the money? Why would I now? Mum, Dad and Rita handled all my money related business. I was deep in thoughts when Charles called.

"Hey pretty boy."

"Hi cara mia, you sound exhausted?"

"Tough days. I’m just happy to go home now." I sighed a little.

"Oh I know that sigh. What’s going on?"

"Netflix."

"Netflix?"

"Netflix!"

"Cara mia I need more than that?"

"Drive to Survive Originals: The story of Lizzie Doetterer. A three part mini series."

"Sounds amazing. I would binge it." Charles chuckled.

"The motorsport side of it? Yeah… but the “who is Lizzie Doetterer outside of racing? The person behind the lid?”- side of the story? I don’t know."

"So it’s not entirely about racing?"

"No. They want to show parts of my private life. Show me as an approachable, young woman. Who was oppressed half her life by male competitors. How it affected me as a person. How it affected my family and friends… they even want you and Pierre in it… because of our karting past!"

"Max?"

"He said a long time ago fuck off to them, so I guess no."

"Will you do it?"

"I don’t know. I don’t want to reveal the last remaining private parts of my life to Netflix and therefore the world…"

"Understandable. But the other aspect would be good. For every young girl with a love and passion for motorsport."

"Jeez! Rub salt in the wound…"

"Sorry, cara mia. I just think you maybe have to talk to them? How much of your private life they want to show. And how much power over the content they’ll show in the end you’ll be having?"

"Yeah, maybe you’re right. I’ll have a talk with Julie. Thanks… you really helped me."

"Always. So where are you right now?"

"Around 30 minutes away from home."

"You’ll be going with Liam tomorrow to that father-son-thing?"

"Well as far as I know, yes. He said it’s okay if I want to come. But I don’t have to. When I said I was excited he seemed to be a little happy. But Sissy texted me an hour ago that there were kids laughing at him because he’s taking me, his aunt, not even an uncle, instead of his dad… so yeah. I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to wait and see what’s his mood tomorrow."

"Why are kids so mean?"

"No idea. I just know that if he really doesn’t want to go tomorrow, because I’m a girl, I definitely won’t be mad at him… because that’s what he said to Sissy. He only said yes to me because he didn’t want me to feel bad… and now? I don’t know. I want him to go there tomorrow, head held high. Smile on his face with a proud attitude that he can have fun with everyone. But also I just want to stay at home with him and cuddle him and tell him it’s okay to stay at home if he doesn’t want to go with me, his aunt, a girl, to a field trip with only boys/men…"

"Tough. I’m really sorry. I wish I could do something."

"I think no one of us can."

"That sucks."

"You don’t say?"

"I don’t want to hang up, but Sylvia is giving me her evil look. I think they’ll need me."

"Alright. Call me when you’ve got time. Love you."

"I love you more."

I sat at the kitchen island, waiting for Sissy and Liam, as she walked into the kitchen, sighing.

"He’s definitely not coming out of his room…" she said and sat down next to me.

"What the hell did these kids say to him?" I asked and she shrugged her shoulders.

"I don’t know. He just said he doesn’t want to go anymore…" she looked defeated "I hate him, he doesn’t care for his son! He was suing me, trying to get his name on the birth certificate, Liam having his last name? For what? What if the court would granted him all his demands? He would’ve still fucked everything up and not be here for him! And now Liam refuses to go to this trip because it’s a father and son day! Whose idea was that? How insensitive are they?" I could see the tears prickling in her eyes and hugged her "There will be so many situations where he needs a dad, but he only has me!"

"We’ll manage it. He has all of us." I said and got up "And now I’ll get him so we can all be upset together." I left and walked up into their loft. "Bubba? Can I come in?"

"I’m not going on the trip!" he whispered, his voice hoarse.

"That’s okay, but can you come downstairs? We’re upset, you’re upset, let’s all be upset together? And maybe have some ice cream for breakfast?" I said and he looked up. Jackpot. "Come on, ice cream and movies?"

"Okay…" he nodded and took my hand and together we walked downstairs.

"Hey my baby boy… everything ok now?" Sissy asked him gently and he shrugged his shoulders.

"We’re having ice cream for breakfast!" he said and my sister looked at me with wide eyes "And we’re watching movies!"

"Umm yeah, sure…" she replied and I just grinned apologetically as I heard a car approaching, one look out of the kitchen window and my heart skipped a beat. I heard the car door closing and just a moment later Charles walked into the kitchen.

"Sorry that I’m late, but I had to stop at the petrol station. Ready, Bubba?" he said a little out of breath and Liam jumped into his arms.

"You’re coming with me? Really?" he asked and Charles nodded.

"Of course! Now come on! Get dressed!" he sat Liam down who sprinted away.

"You’re here?" Sissy asked with a thin voice, tears in her eyes.

"I‘m here!" Charles answered smiling at her and Sissy hugged him.

"Thank you, Charles! You have no idea what that means to me! No, what it means to him!" she whispered.

"I will always try to be here for him, no matter what!" he smiled and looked at me and I had to do my best to not cry.

"I’ll help him, we’ll be back in a minute!" Sissy said and followed Liam upstairs.

"Hey, cara mia." he whispered and pulled me into his arms, a gentle kiss on my lips.

"Thank you!" I just whispered and he hugged me tighter.

"Everything for you…" he said and I could hear Liam approaching.

"Did you see how high the platforms are, Charlie? That’s going to be so scary! But so cool!" he was the happiest little kid all of a sudden again, all because of Charles. With one last hug for all of us the two boys left and I waved them goodbye at the door, Charles smiling at me. How could someone be this perfect?

For the next 2 days straight we heard story after story of how great the high ropes course was. Liam was smiling that much, I was almost afraid he would be in pain by now.

"And then at the last platform, it’s the highest of all of them, you can decide if you want to be lowered down, or roping down or, and that’s only for the toughest ones they said, if you want to jump! And then it’s like free fall for a couple of metres before there is some kind of brake at the harness that you’re wearing! And guess what! They were all too scared! No one did it! But Charlie and I we were brave enough!" Liam beamed.

"Oh wow! That sounds so cool! Next time I want to join in!" I said and he nodded.

"We can all go! Maybe Omi and Pops not? They’re a little old…" he whispered the last part and Charles had to laugh.

"I heard that!" Dad shouted from the barbecue and Liam giggled a little.

"Ooopsie!" he jumped out of my lap and disappeared inside.

"You made him the happiest, coming here and going on that field trip with him!" Dad said as he sat down next to us.

"I needed it as well. A little break away from…" Charles began but then shook his head.

"What’s going on at the Scuderia?" Dad asked and I looked up from my book.

"The usual. Nothing to concerning."

"They were giving you a hard time… because of Austria?" I said and he nodded a little.

"They weren’t the happiest that I didn’t had Ferrari’s back when it came to your penalties… but I said that it was unfair what the FIA was doing. They kinda accepted it." he shrugged his shoulder and I sighed.

It hurt that Ferrari was turning into some kind of enemy. They were still the team my heart belonged to, the team that awakened my love for Formula 1. The team I celebrated big triumphs with. But more and more they turned into more than just a competitor. The rivalry between Carlos and I was topic number one in all F1 related blogs, podcasts and so on, over the past week. But it wasn’t just Carlos who agitated me. No it was Ferrari’s treatment of Charles. More so Mattia Binotto’s treatment of Charles. The strategy blunders? The unreliable car. Just too many mistakes, screwing Charles over more than once.

"Lizzie?" Charles threw a grape at me and I looked up "Where were you again?"

"Sansibar." I chuckled and he cocked an eyebrow "I was just thinking about… umm…"

"Netflix?"

"Netflix! I guess I really will have a talk with Julie…"

"What does Netflix want from you?" Dad chimed in and I realised that I forgot to tell my family about it. Charles was happy to fill him and Mum and Sissy who joined us outside in.

"That sounds amazing! Think about the millions of people you could reach? They all will know then how hard it was for you to make it into F1!" Sissy said.

"It would mean a lot to every girl who’s interested in motorsports out there." Mum agreed.

"But they want to film my private life as well? Imagine we’re sitting here. Having a conversation like this and there is a camera crew? It’s like the Kardashian’s thing? Am I supposed to sit here, eat a salad and talk about I don’t know what? While being filmed?" I really wasn’t sure about it.

"I would like to think we’re a little more interesting than the Kardashians…" Dad said and I had to laugh "Whoever they are."

"Funny guy." I groaned as Liam ran out of the house, handing Dad the phone.

"Someone for you. He said he’s a lawyer."

"Okay? Thanks Bubba." Dad got up and walked away.

"A lawyer?" Charles looked at me but I had no idea what’s going on, so I looked at Mum.

"Don’t look at me! I have no idea…" she held her hands up and I watched Dad closely. He talked for another 5 minutes until he hung up and came back.

"What’s going on?" I said as soon as he sat down.

"That was Hans‘ lawyer. The testament was opened and now they’re needing us to accept our share." he said and I gulped "We have an appointment tomorrow."

"Great." was all I could say, Charles took my hand in his and squeezed it gently.

"It’s in the morning, so you guys can leave as planned tomorrow night." Dad said and Charles nodded.

"You’re awfully quiet, cara mia?" Charles asked after we’ve driven for almost 3 hours.

"Hans was a freaking multi millionaire!" I exclaimed and he looked at me "Seriously. He set up trust funds for his two grandkids, really generous ones, then a large amount for his son. And the rest of his private fortune… well I get it. And then of course the karting track and all the business accounts? It’s a freaking lot! I spoke with Dad, we’re not selling the karting track. We keep it and he will take over the academy. Hans had a bunch of new ideas for the track and the academy and Dad will take care of it."

"But that sounds good, no? You don’t seem to be too happy about it?"

"I mean… Dad already sacrificed so much for me, he was only working part time to support me and travel with me. Now the academy? I don’t want him to feel obligated to do it?"

"Did you tell him that?"

"Yeah…"

"And?"

"He said he would quit his job and focus on the karting track 100%. Realise all of Hans’ plans for a complete renovation and modernisation of the track…"

"But that’s a good thing? If he wants to do that?"

"It is. It’s just… he will have all the work, all the pressure, all the stress! And still will try to be at as many races as possible! I’m just afraid it’s getting all too much for him…"

"Hmm. He just loves watching you race. But yeah maybe he should split his time then a little?"

"Can you tell him that? Because when I did, he just rolled his eyes and said he’ll be fine…"

"You want me to tell Pops what to do? Hell no."

"You’re a scaredy-cat!"

"I’m not, I just know that he won’t listen anyway."

"Maybe I could ask Mum to talk to him?"

"Sounds like a plan."

We continued our drive in silence and I slowly drifted off every now and then, although trying my best to stay awake.

"You can sleep, cara mia. I’m fine." Charles chuckled after I flinched again, gently slapping my cheeks to stay awake.

"No! I’m not sleeping when you have to drive! I’m awake!" I mumbled and yawned.

"Driving from Maranello to Ludwigsburg and then all the way back to Monaco really isn’t the best of ideas."

"You did it couple of times before."

"I know. And it was always when I had decided spontaneously to come. I wouldn’t plan it intentionally."

"Me neither."

I connected my phone to the car and Charles groaned a little.

"I want to stay awake and for that I need to sing… so come on, let your inner Swiftie out."

"There is no inner Swiftie."

"Oh please."

The next 2 hours were filled with me singing along to Taylor Swift and Charles driving, with a content smile on his face.

"You know what? I have an inner Swiftie in me, but only for you singing the songs."

"Oh come on."

"No I’m serious, I’ve told you this before and you never believe me. But I really love hearing you sing, anything, not just Taylor Swift."

"Charles, it’s sweet of you, but yeah no, I’m not a good singer."

"Let’s agree that we disagree on that one."

"Whatever." I looked outside, the sun beginning to rise around us "If you need to switch, I could drive for a bit?"

"I’m fine, but thank you."

"Do we have anything planned for today or tomorrow?"

"Nope. Relax, a little work outs here and there. And on Thursday we’re driving to Le Castellet."

"Alrighty. Two days doing nothing? Sounds too good to be true."

"We could take the boat tomorrow? One last little cruise."

"What do you mean?"

"What?"

"You said one last cruise?"

"I did?"

"Don’t try to play it down! What do you mean? Did you sell Monza?"

"Okay, this was supposed to be a surprise… I sold it, wait, and bought a new one. A bigger one… I called it Sedici and it’s currently being customised, it should be done by the end of this month…"

"Wait! When we just out of fun looked through the different interior designs of yachts and you asked about my opinion, that was not just out of fun, was it?"

"I might took in some of your ideas… and by that I mean most of your ideas…"

"Charles! Why a bigger one? Wait? How much bigger?"

"Just a little… and I thought that we could all hang out more together on the water… especially during the summer break…"

"Has this something to do with your mysterious plans for the summer break you’re not telling me about?"

"Maybe."

"Okay, keep your secrets. But yeah. We could take the boat tomorrow, have a little day out on the water, it’s been a while."

"Perfect."

"Hi Lizzie, yesterday in FP1 you had some problems to get the car in the right set up, in FP2 you couldn’t drive. Now P7 in qualifying. Not too bad after the problems you had?" Karun Chandhok from SkyUK asked.

"Yeah FP1 was just not it, im the car felt stiff and oversteery, so yeah it was tough and then we had the issues with our electric in FP2. And yeah FP3 wasn’t much better. But yeah P7 is okay. I can manage I guess."

"What do you think is possible tomorrow?"

"The track is not really suitable for our car, on paper at least, so yeah, we’ll see. But P7 is a good position, to maybe make up one or two positions."

"Carlos will start in P5 in front of you tomorrow, have you guys talked about last weekend? Will we see a fair battle?"

"We haven’t talked, for me there is nothing to say. I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to race, to win. I let my results speak for myself. And I will drive the same way I did last weekend.”

"Thank you Lizzie and good luck!"

"And that’s P6. Good race, little one" Pete radioed and I sighed.

"I tried."

"You did good."

"Valtteri?"

"P4."

"Awesome!"

I drove into the pit lane and parked my car behind Checo and got out of the car. I waited for Pierre and he pulled me into his side, walking towards the weighing.

"He’ll be a mess." Pierre said in hushed French and I nodded.

"I still don’t understand what happened? He lost the rear?"

"Yeah, let’s just hope it was the car…"

"And not his mistake? You’re right. He would be devastated…"

As I got my receipt I congratulated Max, Lewis and George.

"Hey Finnisher! Good race!" I hugged Valtteri and he patted my back.

"You too, little one! Thanks for opening up that door for me…" he chuckled a little and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah we went both a little off there." I shrugged my shoulders.

We walked back into our garage and I passed an awaiting JK my helmet, taking my bottle from him.

"What happened?" I looked at him.

"It wasn’t your fault, I mean you two touched a few times over the course of the race, yeah more or less within the rules, but nothing major. Nothing big. He hit a kerb pretty hard and then had an issue with his floor, that’s why he had to retire. You weren’t involved."

"What? No, not Carlos. Charles?"

"Oh… umm he lost the rear."

"No shit Sherlock! How?"

"Driver error."

"Fuck! Did you see him?"

"Only for a moment. He’s okay…"

"No he’s not. Can you stall Julie for a bit? I just want to see him. Couple of minutes only."

"Stall her? Julie? Stall Julie? How? She’s a menace!"

"I don’t know, flirt with her?"

"She’s married. I have a girlfriend."

"Tell her… tell her I’m having a shit."

"Sure Lizzie Räikkönen!"

"I don’t care what you tell her, just- just stall her okay?

"I’ll try my best…"

"Thanks, you’re the best!"

"Go now!"

I sprinted away, behind the garages, until I was at Ferrari. I couldn’t just walk in obviously, like Charles could into the Audi garage, so I had to wait for someone to come out. One of the mechanics I knew noticed me an I waved him over.

"Hey Lizzie, how are you?" Mauro asked and I smiled my most charming smile.

"I’m good! I just wanted to check on Charles? Can you maybe get him for me?"

"Oh, yeah sure! I’ll go and have a look!"

"Thank you so much!" he smiled and left.

As I stood at the side I saw Carlos Sainz sr. leave the garage, looking at me.

"Hola Señor Sainz." I nodded at him and he gritted his teeth slightly.

"Doetterer." he replied and walked off.

"Nice to see you too." I chuckled a little and looked back into the garage, where Mauro was talking to my favourite red head, who shook her head, walking straight to me.

"Lizzie." Sylvia said, awfully sweet.

"Sylvia." I replied, even sweeter.

"Charles can’t come. We have our debrief now, since both our drivers had to retire, we start a little earlier. You can see him later." her words were final and she left.

"And also nice to see you too." I sighed and walked back to my garage as a mad looking Julie already waited for me.

"Did you see your lover boy? Can we go now?" she chided and I nodded.

"I haven’t seen my lover boy, but yes we can go, my lovely Julie!" I smiled and she grabbed my arm.

"Come on now, and Lizzie? Please! Don’t be petty, or happy or malicious about Carlos' DNF, okay?" she urged me and I nodded.

"Got it."

"Tough race? Some hard battles there with Carlos? Just like yesterday in the Sprint race?"

"Yeah, we raced hard but fair. Touched here and there, but still all within the regulations. It was a fun battle."

"You were able to put some distance between Carlos before you had a little lock-up?"

"Yeah, that was my mistake. I was a little too greedy I guess. He came close again and we had another intense battle."

"But then Carlos went off. Without your input."

"Yeah I didn’t see him going off, he was gone and my race engineer told me then that he’s out."

"Overall a good weekend for you? Yesterday P4. Today P6. You said as long as you’re in front of car 55 it’s a win for you."

"I shouldn’t have said that in the first place, but yeah. Like I said, I let my results speak for myself."

"Any final words after this weekend?"

"I always was a huge fan of karma…" I had to. I couldn’t hold back. With a big smile I left, Julie next to me just shaking her head.

"I hate you." was all she said and I laughed.

"You love me."

As I walked out, I saw Charles leaning against his Pista, eyes hidden behind his Ray Bans, head hung low.

"Hey…" I said and he looked up.

"You ready to go?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

"Yup." I answered and he opened the door for me "Thanks." he smiled faintly, closed the door and walked around the car.

As he got in, he started the engine and drove off of the parking lot, where loads of fans were gathered. Security holding them back, only on the right side the fans could approach the car and as they were all screaming for Charles, he sighed. I opened the window and the screaming got louder, I looked for a sharpie in my bag, grabbed some of the things they were shoving at us and handed them Charles to sign.

"We love you, Charles!"

"You’ll come back stronger!"

"Daghe Charles!"

"We believe in you!"

Nothing of it changed Charles emotionless face, he just signed the stuff and handed it to me, some fans were asking for my signature as well and I happily obliged to them. After 5 minutes the security guys waved at us and Charles nodded, he leaned a bit over and thanked the fans, I waved them goodbye, then he drove off.

The first 30 minutes we sat in silence. Charles right hand on the steering wheel, left arm on the window frame. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Okay, let’s talk about it…" I began, but he shook his head.

"I’d rather not." he said and I looked at him.

"Yeah well, you don’t always get what you want. So, what happened?" I said and Charles gripped the steering wheel with both hands tight "We have more than an hour to drive left and I don’t want this to be a monologue! So? Tell me, what happened?”

"I lost the rear, haven’t you seen it? I pushed too hard, wanted too much, lost the rear and the championship, all because I am stupid…" he said and I waited for more, but Charles stayed silent.

"Okay, so you wanted to win so badly, that you gave it your all, pushed the car too much and then lost the rear?" I asked and Charles groaned but nodded "Okay."

"Okay? That’s all you have to say? Okay?" he asked and looked at me for a second.

"What else do you want me to say?" I looked at him.

"You could say that I’m stupid, that I keep making mistake, after mistake, that I will never be a world champion because I’m not consistent enough, you could say that I’m just not good enough for Formula 1…" he begann but I scoffed "What?"

"No, go on, I’m sure you have a lot of other very nice things to say about yourself…" I looked out the window and we kept on driving in silence, the sky turning darker with every Kilometer that we got closer to Monaco.

"I’m just making too many mistakes, I can’t handle the pressure, Max doesn’t make mistakes like this, he’s consistent…" Charles said after a while.

"Charles, that’s not…" I began but he shook his head.

"No, Lizzie, it’s true, Max doesn’t make mistakes, he…" Charles began.

"But you’re not fucking Max Verstappen! You’re Charles Leclerc, who made a mistake today, a mistake that costed you a lot, but it did not cost you the championship! Goddamnit, Charles! Yes, today was your mistake. 100%. But you own up to it! You know you made a mistake. But the reason why you make these mistakes are not because you’re not good enough, or not consistent enough, or that you can’t handle the pressure. The reason you keep making these mistakes is that for some strange reason you still think that you have to prove yourself, you still think you have to show that you truly deserve your seat and that your good enough and that you think you have to be better to make your dad and Jules proud, and that lack of confidence in your abilities, paired with the insecurities you’re team is giving you by fucking you over every other race… yeah well, we saw what happened." I said and Charles didn’t reply, he just kept driving "You know what is good though? This is something you can change, something you can work on."

"And how? How do I stop making these mistakes?" he asked.

"Really simple, stop thinking too much about all this bullshit. Drive. Focus on what you’re best at. Believe in yourself. Push yourself to the limit but not above. Drive with the passion that brought you here all those years ago. Don’t do it for anyone else but yourself! And for fucks sake, Charles, start to be confident in your own abilities!" I said and he smiled a little. He reached his hand out and laid it on my thigh, gently rubbing it.

"Maybe you’re right, but still. Today was just… god I was so close…" he sighed.

"Oh pretty boy, the season is not over yet!" I smiled.

As we parked the car Charles switched the engine off and looked at me for a moment.

"God, I love you so much!" he said and launched at me, kissing me fiercely, igniting a fire running through my veins.

"Come on now, pretty boy. I’m hungry and tired!" I unbuckled my seat and Charles was already out of the car, opening the door for me, holding out his hand to help me out.

"And they say chivalry is dead."

"Not when it comes to you, mon amour."

Little Note:

Chapter 21 - there’s a rivalry blossoming 😬 (no hate towards Carlos, he just really makes a great antagonist).

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @glitterf1 @janeholt3 @maeve-wileyy @18754389 @queensassybitchsworld @chiliwhore

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made).

[askstevella]

Steve & The Body Pillow // Stevella Fic

- Steve Rogers x Wife!OC

As of late Stella has been obsessed with her new Instagram account since she started posting pictures on there. She wasn’t much of a social media person but currently posting on her story and sharing pictures has become her favorite thing after noticing a couple of their friends do it.

Meanwhile Steve is not.

He could care less about social media platforms. However, he does use them for plenty of reasons himself such as posting pictures of events he’s at, announcements about things like getting a dog or building something for himself and videos of his friends and family members.

Of course he found it nice that his wife wanted to showcase her life on the internet and know what others are up to.

He liked it and told her if he liked a photo or not in her comment section with a remark about it.

One day he decided to have a little fun with his wife’s new tendency toward her phone.

After a long day of working, taking Astro for a walk with the family and helping their friends with dinner, Stella wanted nothing more than to cuddle up with her husband.

As her head hit the pillow, she lets out a content sigh. She smiles to herself and cozies up under the blankets.

Steve joins her a few minutes later and so does an obnoxiously large pillow. Stella has seen a couple versions of that pillow being past around the gang plenty of times before. Steve insisted it could help with his sleep and seeing how popular it was with blogs posts he saw in the group chat with the heroes.

Mia got it for Rochelle who later on gave it to Liane then it pasted onto Rick and so forth. Soon enough everyone was using it to sleep!

It got to a point where they had to buy a couple hundred more of the damn pillow.

Here Stella was staring at the thing. She didn’t think it would end up taking up half of the bed and keeping Steve away from her. She’s been so used to cuddling Steve for years, and now that damn pillow was preventing her from getting close.

Steve rolled his eyes, “I swear you’re someone else sometimes.”

“This isn’t fair. I wanted cuddles with my hunk of a man after a long day!” She complains.

“And I want to be able to sleep without my back hurting but here we are.”

“I’ll give you a back massage.”

“No thanks.”

“I’ll be the big pillow you need instead of that thing.”

“Nope.”

She huffed with her arms cross, “How am I gonna get any sleep now?”

“Close your eyes and count some sheep.” Steve curls up around his body pillow, his eyes closing and a soft smile of contentment appearing over his face.

However she was still pouting.

“What now?” Steve asks, his eyes still shut and a heavy sigh leaving his lips.

“How do you do that?” She sits up and leans in to wave her hand in front of Steve’s face. “Do you have an extra pair of eyes?”

He chuckled, “Stop babe. I want some sleep.”

“I wanted to be your body pillow and have some cuddles. That’s all I ask..”

“Why? So you can post more about it? No thanks.”

Stella’s eyebrow furrowed a bit as she let that sink in and scoffed, “Oh! So that’s what this is all about? You brought that damn pillow out of spite.”

“I knew you would figure it out. Why are you being so annoying?” He said as he sassed her and shoot his eyes open.

“And why you being so mean?”

“What! I am not being mean.”

“Oh right, no, you’re being petty.”

“Babe.”

“…okay fine, I can be annoying.”

“Try a lot.”

“Okay, I’ve been very annoying lately with my posting phase. I’m sorry.”

“I just wish you wouldn’t document every single thing we do.”

“But you said that you found it nice and I can post stuff about our lives—”

“I know what I said! But sometimes I want you to put the phone down and focus on what’s happening in front of you instead of experiencing it all through the phone.”

Stella felt slightly uncomfortable by his words, she knew he was right, but she hated that he had to go out and say it like that. She huffed and pouted, crossing her arms.

“Don’t even give me that look.” Steve said.

“What look?” She replied.

“You know the look. Sorry, sweetheart, but it’s the truth. Let me ask you something.”

“Mhm..”

“Why are you here being obsessed with this?”

“Uh…I don’t know, I fell in love with sharing our stories instead of the press releasing stuff about our experiences..”

That caused Steve to paused and rested his head against the pillow to face her better. He knew Stella enjoy the game of social media but hated the press coverage with great passion, hell they were the ones who told the world about them and their relationship first. Not them!

She didn’t get a say in what happened or could be said. He didn’t like it either—he hated it, he wasn’t one to be the news outlets dancing monkey.

He then asked, “So your doing this, for fans, friends and whatnot could get to know us better..? Not to have pressure of the press on our backs..”

She just nodded and covered her face. She sniffled chuckling at how easy and silly it sounded, yet it looked like a whole bunch of other things.

“Babe, I get it.” Steve said after a brief silence before letting out a sigh, “But I do want you to experience things in the moment and not across a phone. Not post about every single thing, okay?”

“It’s getting kinda annoying, isn’t it?” She muttered.

“Yeah. It is. Next time tell me what you’re doing or what you’re going to post.”

“Why? So you can have a piece of all the action too?”

Steve nodded and smirked, “I mean, yeah! I want to have a say in this.”

“Fair, you should.” She replied chuckling a bit, “I will let you know what happens and you can have a say in all of it.”

“And I was always the better photographer anyway.”

“Hey!”

“Just stating the facts!”

Stella playfully glares at him meanwhile Steve just laughed and snorted.

“Can I have my husband please?” She pleaded chuckling.

“Let me think.” He stated and then smirked, “No.”

“Excuse me?! We made up, this is part where we get to kiss and cuddle.”

“You need a tiny punishment, for at least a little while longer.”

“Steve…”

“You’ll get your cuddles in the morning instead.”

“I—!”

He suddenly looped his finger underneath her chin and pressed a soft kiss against her lips. She made a soft noise at the action then smiled pressing a kiss in return.

//

And we’re done! ✔️ Let me know what you think 💭

Tags 🏷️ @rickb-chaos @purpleprincessonfyre @marvelsfavoriteuncle @therealdaydreamstark @ask-missparker @ask-starrk @askstevella @sci-fi-lexcon @luna-d-marsh @ethan-lensherr @wizzzardofoz z @thechoooooosenone @jackiequick @gcthvile @cherrysft @blueboirick @meiramel @elzabeth-stark @missstrawbs2001 @trulysummersprivate @yetanotherwells @gaminggirlsstuff @fluffystevefest

[dipperscavern]

Hi dippy!!! I know I’m late but congrats on 1k! The celebration idea is pretty epic. I’ve never seen someone do something like this before on here. Would ya mind if I got a fortune telling?? I’m not sure how to go about this so I’m just gonna turn off my brain and ramble. I’m sorry if this becomes too long 😅

I’m 4’10” (stumpy asf ik) and petite but curvy in “all the right places” as I’m told often. I’m black and an #audhdgirly (autism and adhd) so I am pretty awkward, shy, blunt/straightforward, energetic, and very quiet. That quiet shit goes out the window the moment i get to talking about one of my special interests tho (I could ramble on for hours without realizing it which can sometimes be embarrassing). Sarcasm goes straight over my head (bc of the ‘tism). I am always doing something to stimulate myself but I’m clumsy and often find random marks on me that make others concerned. I scare my loved ones often because when I’m overstimulated I tend to go nonverbal and find small, quiet places to be in alone and also bc I tend to go mia or wander around while lost in my head. (There has been too many instances in my life where a full on search party has been sent out to look for me when I’m literally just like under my bed, or in my closet, or something.) I have sensory issues like no fucking other and I’m incredibly creative for no reason at all. I enjoy spending time with my loved ones even if it’s being with them while they do something they like while I do my own things, or just sitting in silence with them (especially if I’m overstimulated) but I also cherish my alone time. I love physical touch (unless I’m overstimulated). I’m a cuddle bug (especially bc im cold all the time. like seriously it’s a problem). I am also very emotional and have meltdowns pretty routinely when upset. I do struggle to showcase my emotions physically (bc of the ‘tism) so most people don’t realize I’m upset until I start crying.

I LOVE food but I am a picky eater (bc of the ‘tism). My style is pretty cohesive. It’s a lot of soft sweaters, flowy skirts and dresses, tights, cardigans, mary janes, and bows in soft or deep colors like browns, tans, dark greens, dark blues, dark purples, whites, blacks, and pastels. I love books and film! I read and watch a lot of fantasy, horror, sci-fi, and mysteries. I’m really into history and love writing stories anywhere I can (I carry a journal and pen with me everywhere). I love autumn and winter so much. I love collecting things. I’m OBSESSED with music. I will listen to anything as long as I can vibe to it (from classical to heavy metal). I also play a few instruments including the violin, piano, and guitar. I really love museums, art galleries, fashion, sewing, crochet, and gardens(!). I love nature and animals so much and could wander in a garden for hours just looking at flowers, trees, other plants, and bugs and animals, and nature! I also enjoy making my loved ones things that they can use practically in their day to day life. I’m quiet but observant so I am usually able to make things that are personal to that specific person but benefit them in some way.

thank u for your congrats and i’m so glad u like the celebration!! come, come, and we shall gaze into this crystal ball of mine 🔮

oh… the one i see… are he and his friend gay? no no, wait, false alarm. ahem, moving forward — i see king in the north, robb stark. robb stark would love your curves, and tease you relentlessly about the height difference. he’d purposefully putting things on higher shelves so you need him to come get them (i hate him). robb loves sarcasm, but makes a big effort not to use it around you so he doesn’t confuse you, and would explain any sarcasm/anythign you’re confused about. he’s sooo caring about your clumsiness, always patching you up and catching you whenever you trip (you don’t know how he does it, he’s just suave like that you suppose). and robb loves quality time with u!! you guys doing your own things (as you said), but also knows when & respects when you need alone time. and robb lives for physical touch, he’s such a cuddle bug too’!!! and the garden part awh. robb taking you to highgarden once the war is over so you guys can stroll the gardens for as long as you like, as his thank you to you for sticking beside him all that time <3

[chxrriebomb]

Hello everyone, while it’s been over a year since I’ve been active on tumblr - i just wanted to say I’m sorry for my lack of updates on my sequel to Dark Empire (18+ Eren Jaeger x reader fanfic)

From major surgery less than two months ago, to personal issues in my life, a part of me wanted to delete everything as a whole and go MIA. I am not savvy with social media, i find myself very overstimulated a good majority of the time.

I used to go by novoamorbby, but recently had to change my name after stalking and harassment charges with people in my ((irl)) personal life. Dark Empire is slowly creeping up to 300k reads and I am SO grateful for it. Honestly a part of me has wanted to take it down and rewrite some of it because I know it could be 100x better now that I know what I’m doing.

Anyway, long story short…my life has been extremely chaotic, and my mental health is not doing great. I have had zero motivation to write/read/play video games. I find myself exhausted and sleeping a lot lately. I am sorry for disappointing many of you and making you wait months on end - i just truly have been up and down and not doing well. I hope you can understand.

Xx

[lyranova]

Hi everyone, I hope you’re all doing well!

I’m sorry I’ve been even more MIA from…everywhere, I’m just going through a lot (again i’m sorry 😔) and just haven’t felt like writing much because of it. I know “COTF: Shadows” is nearly a month late, and that my event fics are very late as well, but I’ll try and get to them soon!

I also know I’m supposed to be doing a “spooky” event along with OC Kinktober, and I’m going to try and get to it because it was something I kind of promised you all that I would do. So I’m going to *try* and post that Monday, but we’ll see what life has in store for me by then 😅.

Anyway I hope you’re all doing well, and I’m sending you all love and hugs and positive vibes and hope this weekend/week treats you all well 🥰🫂!

[just-jordie-things]

Read the new chapter when it dropped so apologies, I’m a bit late with my message. Personal life has been a bit… chaotic this week and I’ve been a bit down in the dumps and feeling slightly depresso however, I am off from work for two weeks and travelling back to visit family for a bit so I will get back to my usual positive cheesy mood soon 😤

As always, it was such a good update and I am sitting on the edge of my seat and impatiently waiting for the next update because omg, there are so many ways this could go 🫠

Will y/n end up telling Satoru what they’ve been up to? Will he guess to some extent what they are planning?! 😱 Or what if Satoru thinks y/n will go after Geto? 😱 I’m honestly not thinking that hard because I want to be mindblown when I do read the next update 😂 Also, my thinking capacity this week is 0.00001% so I’m just mindlessly throwing things out there 😂 It has already been confirmed (from all the previous chapters) that whatever happens it will be beautiful in every way, shape and form ❤️

Have you had a good week??

- Gouda 🧀

i hope your spirits have been lifted gouda! sorry i’ve been a lil mia from tumblr i’ve been working a lot this week, but it’s been good. don’t hate the job and i need the money so i can’t complain yk 😅

i can’t wait for you to read the next chapter!! i tbh j you’ll love it and i’ll leave it at that 😉😁 don’t wanna give away too much bcuz i’ve already been so giddy about posting this part.

as always i appreciate your support and love and your dedication for sharing it!!!! ❤️❤️❤️🫶🫶🫶 happy reading!!

[animerina]

Writing Update! (And I Finally Got Plagiarized)

Sorry I have been MIA. Once again, life has gotten the better of me as of late. First, my work became soul-sucking and took a lot of my free time. Once I managed to get that under control, my dad ended up in the hospital for a week and I had to help my mom take care of him and his dog while he was unable to. What doesn’t help is their dog hates my dog so putting the two of them at my house was absolute chaos. My partner left his job in May and started working in August somewhere else so I was trying to manage all our finances alone for several months which was absolutely taxing. We ate through most of our savings during that time, but luckily he’s getting a paycheck again. Things were getting better, but dad is back in the hospital and I don’t know for how long this time.

I know I’ve been neglecting my writing, so I really am trying to make it up to y’all by hopefully getting some chapters for different works out by the end of this week. I don’t have many followers, but I appreciate every single one of you and I’m so glad I have been able to write some stories you guys have enjoyed. I love seeing your reactions and thoughts, and am so proud of the content I’ve been able to create.

Unfortunately, something was brought to my attention today that I was hoping never to have to address. One of my followers messaged me that they believed one of my stories had been plagiarized by another blog on tumblr. I know this happens, I was just hoping it wouldn’t happen to me. At first glance, it didn’t really look like it had been copied, but as I read it, I realized that not only the concept and setting been stolen, but some of the dialogue and actions were copied word for word.

It really upset me to see this especially since I have followed this person since I entered the Tolkien fandom and have really enjoyed much of their work. Not only that, but they are a much larger blog with a lot of traffic/notes and provide a lot more content. It took me a long time to feel comfortable and confident enough to post my first story on here and A03, and the fact that even a small part of a story was plagiarized really hurts. I won’t call them out publicly because I don’t want anyone to attack them, but I know they will see this since they follow me and I hope they don’t do this to any other writer on here. It’s one thing to be inspired by a fic, it’s a completely different situation when it’s copied word for word. I’ll end my rant here and I’m sorry, but I needed to vent.

[vilisus]

Ooc:

With thanksgiving being next week and me having to travel to get to my parents’, I’m probably going to be MIA until I return from visiting them. There’s just so much to do before then, plus final prep for a ren faire by them when I visit. I know I’ve been gone a lot lately, life has just been busy. I understand if anyone feels the need to unfollow me. I am sorry for being gone so much. Life, what can I say?

[technxlogic]

ooc: With thanksgiving being next week and me having to travel to get to my parents’, I’m probably going to be MIA until I return from visiting them. There’s just so much to do before then, plus final prep for a ren faire by them when I visit. I know I’ve been gone a lot lately, life has just been busy. I understand if anyone feels the need to unfollow me. I am sorry for being gone so much. Life, what can I say?

[sprouseryanlovaticlove]

LIFE UPDATE

Hi guys! Sorry I’ve been MIA as of late but I am back I’ve done a lot of life since. I am going to try and get to the better version of me starting now. I still love all of my favs,disney, and so on but I just am getting older and figuring out a lot. One thing I’ve discovered about myself is that I AM A BISEXUAL FEMALE and what better time to come out than pride month! I am not completely out but I’ve told a couple close people in my life and I hope you are all supportive of me still. I really hope you guys are well and I’m going to try to update at least once a week and maybe even change my theme and blog around a little. I do also have  secondary blog so that has been taking up my tumblr time as of late as well. ALSO LOVE demi’s new single swine! I will always and forever be demisexual! 

[bortuzzzzin]

This is not something I thought I would admit in the slightest but…. I’ve kinda lost my love for watching the hockey games this season. My stress levels and attention span has just not been in it at all. I can hardly sit still watching and if I do….it… doesn’t last past the 1st period. I of course still keep up with what’s going on by social media or of course the apps. I still very much love my blues and rooting for them every step of the way but it’s just hard to sit and enjoy like I used to. Which kinda explains how I’ve been MIA a lot lately on here. I’m so sorry if I seem distant but I kinda am just dealing a lot with working and life things. I hope I can get back into my enjoyment of hockey madness on tv and what not soon. But for now I’m just watching highlights and reading everything from a far of what’s going on with the team and the games.