#life and death and all that business. it's sad but that's where we're all gonna be someday

[bookie-bookdust]

Sebastian Sallow Headcanons

Shitty attempt at headcanons for my morally gray, stubborn Sebby boy in Sebastian Sallow Fucking Sucks. It's long for literally no reason besides I don't know how to shut up.

My Seb has gone through it. He suffers - but he also deserves it for that whole "ignorant" outburst days after what happened in the Restricted Section on the night of the Yule Ball. So yeah, he's begging for forgiveness by the end when he realizes how torn he and MC's relationship has become - not without stubbornly trying to get under her skin first.

This idiot constantly wears tight clothes - not because he knows it drives MC insane, though if he noticed, it would get much much worse for her lol- but it's because he's so damn messy he grabs the first clean thing he can find in the morning (slutty little vests, tight sweaters, button downs with stressing buttons - RIP MC).

Reading glasses - enough said.

He's an extremely adept magic wielder. Not only can he cast multiple Unforgivables with shorter cooldowns, but his spells are obscenely strong. MC has not been able to beat him in a duel since that very first time.

That being said, he can't cast a patronus because he's a sad emo boy.

Fav spell: Confringo. Secret fav spell: Imperio.

It's not with the times, but he would definitely listen to metal music. You can't convince me otherwise.

The morally gray/dark wizard line is sooooo veryyyyyy thinnnnnnnn and will get worse.

He doesn't trust aurors and would NEVER BECOME ONE!!!!!!!! Why do ya’ll want him to be a cop so bad??? (Unless he's a dirty cop lol)

Career-wise, he'd be a curse breaker, healer, or a dark wizard 😌

Irrevocably dedicated to the ones he loves, and if he feels its dire enough, he will hurt them to protect them. Trust me on this - for no reason in particular😇

Not opposed to getting on his knees and begging hehehehe...

A skilled healer due to countless hours in the library studying up on a cure for Anne.

Has burned his fingerprints off with too many fire spells. And speaking of his fingers, it's common to spot him with ink staining his skin from all his note taking.

While he's charming and cocky, he sees himself as lesser, dispensable, and directly blames himself for all of his life tragedies.

Anger issues - duh.

Not sure if I'll even get into this in SSFS, but my Seb comes from a family of the Dark Arts - whether he's aware of it or not. We already know Solomon used them. I'd like to think his parents did as well, which is what led to their deaths. The Sallow line is cursed as fuck. Will be exploring this more in a future Dark Seb project where he has to break this curse.

Will make dick jokes. No one is safe.

While he'd make a great beater in Quidditch, his life just doesn't have space for trivial things. He's too busy with murder.

Speaking of body count LOL, he's charmed quite a few witches, but no one has shorted his brain quite like MC. He's intently studied some interesting books in the Restricted Section fantasizing testing out some things.

Idk when his birthday is lol. I'm just agreeing with everyone else.

Seb's relationship with Ominis is interesting....I'll be perfectly honest, I'm not sure if their friendship is going to survive in my world. Seb crosses too many lines. Obliviating your best friend really drives a wedge between you.

THE manipulator. We don't get to see too much of this in SSFS because we're in MC's pov. Particularly because he uses his wiles differently on her. But one of my favorite examples is even as he's mocking her for her poor attempt at lying in the broom closet, he's actively making her anxious (and hot and bothered lol) with that little thread on her sweater. And eventually she slips up. He's such a mother fucker lol.

Okay this post is way too long. I'm gonna leave now lol. BYEEEEE.

[orcelito]

Scenic path on a sunny day

[physics-of-one-piece]

Doflamingo's Day Trip to Punk Hazard

Clear the way. The King of Dressrosa is leaving the royal palace in a flair of absolute style for urgent business on Punk Hazard.

Better hold onto his coat for dear life, because this man is FAST. I recommend wrapping your arms around his neck, I would not trust that coat regardless of how it sticks to him. His arms aren’t in his sleeves, that is a death game I do not want to play. So, arms around his neck. Take a nice little inhale of his royal cologne probably worth more than your civilian life if you’re feeling brave. Maybe nuzzle into him, get comfy, you know. It’s gonna be a trip. You won't have the time to breathe. At least the view will be nice, both at the sea and the... Pilot.

Okay. Ready? (Dear God, look at the size of his shadow, holy hell)

Go!

AND HE’S OFF!

Welcome to Doffy's Physics Lab. Let’s calculate how fast Doflamingo flew from Dressrosa to Punk Hazard.

Things to note:

1) The One Piece world is much bigger than Earth. It’s not possible to calculate how big it is. 100 times big is too big, two times big is too small, but Oda put the bottom of the sea at 10km, which is the same as the depth of the Earth’s sea. See the confusion?

2) Law slowed him down by giving him the ultimatum and taking Buffalo & Baby 5 hostage and no clouds.

First, we need the distance.

We can calculate the distance from Punk Hazard to Dressrosa using the SAD tanker. It’s mentioned in the manga it takes a day to reach Dressrosa by ship from Punk Hazard, so that’s 24 hours. A cargo ship goes 25 knots per hour. 

nautical miles = 25 knots • 24 hours

= 600 nautical miles

We need to turn them into kilometers. 

1 nautical mile = 1.852 kilometers

kilometers = 600 • 1.852 kilometers = 1111,2 km ~ 1111 km

Keep in mind, the One Piece world is bigger than ours. This can be considered a short distance for them, but long distance for us. For real life example, London and Berlin are 1,100 km away from each other. The flight takes 1 hour 40 minutes by plane.

Next, we need time. Some people will hate that I use anime time, but for Punk Hazard, it isn't that big of a stretch to use it as a guide. Also, the fact the Straw Hats had a party and ate makes me think there was no way they were at the coast for a full hour before setting sail. Nuh-uh. They'd be sliced if they had stayed that long. But I'm also aware real-time probably happened faster such as a fight, so we're gonna cut the time of the ep where Nami & Usopp beat Baby 5 & Buffalo in half.

Doflamingo set off to Dressrosa at Ep 620, landed on PH in Ep 624. If we go and calculate when he made it to Punk Hazard by making it 18 minutes for each ep (counting 11 mins of 624, half-cutting 621, and counting only last minute of 620), it would be under an hour. That’s already awesome. He’s one of the fastest fliers in the series.

Let’s first focus on those 2 last minutes of Episode 620. 

At 21:25, he leaves the royal palace. At 22:23, he is already over the sea. That’s 58 seconds it takes him to cross over Dressrosa. Thankfully, the fandom did the size of Dressrosa already. 

The diameter of Dressrosa is 50 kilometers. The area is 1,960km². 

That is not even the size of Madrid (Madrid is smaller). So, he’d fly across Madrid like NOTHING.

To put Dressrosa as a comparison with the real world, it is the size of Kuiu, an island in Alaska in United States.

Here it is. It’s a shame Kuiu is so thin, but the length isn’t a bad thing to have. That’s what we need. Length.

Okay, the royal palace is at the center of Dressrosa. That means we go 50÷2 to get the radius.

That’s 25 km. Not meters. Kilometers. 

Okay, so, I mentioned Madrid. Do you all want to know the  area and diameter of Madrid, the capital of Spain, the biggest city in Spain? 

😁😁

It’s 606 km². The diameter is 27 km. The radius is 13.5 km. He’d cross all over Madrid within 30 seconds maybe.

🙂🙂

(Screams)

Haha. Ha. 

If anyone wants to know, Dressrosa is, thankfully, NOT bigger than Spain. Spain is 500 times bigger than Dressrosa. 

All right, let’s calculate how fast Doflamingo is moving to get from Dressrosa and already be out at sea within 58 seconds. We’ll add about a kilometer so the sea is the only thing beneath him as shown in the anime.

We’re using the simplest formula here.

speed = distance/time

We’ll put distance into meters because we have seconds here, not hours.

26 km = 26,000 m

speed = 26,000 m/58 seconds

speed = 448,27 m/s (1470 feet/s)

Let’s convert it to km/h

448,27 m/s • 3.6 = 1614 km/h (1002 mph)

Hahaha, holy FUCKING SHIT. That's jet speed.

I TOLD YOU, HANG ONTO THAT COAT FOR DEAR LIFE, I TOLD YOU.

Dressrosa to Sea = 1614 km/h (1002 mph)

Okay, he broke the sound barrier. If anyone wants to know, you break the sound barrier after your speed passes 1239 km/h (770 mph).

He covers 26 km within 58 seconds at 1614 km/h speed. He covers 448 meters per second. He is moving at jet speed here.

Okay, now comes the Sea to Punk Hazard. Doflamingo has cleared 26 km of the 1111 km so that leaves him with 1085 km to cross.

Here are the minutes. We now won’t count the 2 minutes from 620 because he passed that area.

9(split in half bcs of the fight)+18+18+11= 56 minutes

speed = distance/time = d/t

Speed = 1085 km/0.933 h

Doflamingo’s Speed = 1162 km/h (722 mph)

And there we go, he was flying at 1162 km/h.

Not breaking the sound barrier but it makes sense by what the anime showed.

One thing to note is this includes him saving Buffalo & Baby 5 at a point where Law made sure behind where they came from there are no clouds for Doflamingo to use. He loses about 4 minutes with Law blackmailing him and then he has to take a detour which takes him 11 minutes. We can’t know whether the Straw Hats talking at the Sunny was happening at the same time as Doflamingo landing at Punk Hazard, so we’ll give him those 11 minutes because there are no clouds.

That’s 15 minutes he loses, which makes it 41 minutes. Without Law interfering and the clouds not being there, he would have arrived at Punk Hazard within 41 minutes.

So let’s calculate that.

41 minutes= 0.683 hours

1085 km/0.683h

His full speed without being slowed down by his adopted nephew blackmailing him and kidnapping his scientist to destroy his entire business would then be:

Full Speed (without being slowed down) = 1588 km/h (987 mph)

That's 441 meters per second. That’s four soccer fields he crosses within a second.

Damn. And that’s his casual speed. Broke the sound barrier again.

He is faster than a plane, planes go 600-800 km/h. 

To put into perspective just how fast he is even at that speed, a car takes 10 hrs at the distance (From Berlin to Slovenia) of 1,090km. He literally crosses the length of entire Europe within 56 minutes based on anime time. And that’s him slowed down, according to anime time. The fastest flight from Berlin to Slovenia (1,091km distance) takes 3 hours by plane.

When he found Buffalo & Baby 5, they were away from Punk Hazard. This is important cus he got angry then. That means he SPED up.

So, now we have his descent speed to cover. You know, when he lands like a boss. Yeah, that.

Doflamingo’s Descent Speed

Okay, Doflamingo wears bright colours (white, pink, vermillion) the dominant colours are white and pink. From the front, you’d see about 40% of white and 60% of pink bcs of the way his coat hangs on his shoulders, it makes him look even bigger when he is big enough already like dear God, this man gave me heart attacks 90% of the time.

Why are his clothes important? Because of the sunlight reflecting off his clothes, therefore creating the reflection that causes the marines to see him as a spark, like a star in the daylight. The brighter the clothes, the more reflection which has a possibility of creating the spark in the sky (again, the sparks in the sky are caused by the object shining or you know, being ON FIRE bcs it’s falling down the atmosphere)

We’ll put his magnitude to +10. Humans can see the faintest star when its magnitude is +6. The more negative the magnitude, the brighter sth is. The Sun has the magnitude of -26. Magnitude isn’t important, though, except…

This means we can only see him coming when it’s too late. The anime showed this as a star gleam which I understand, to show just how FAST he is coming. They showed it in daylight, daylight has apparent magnitude of -26. This is a known thing, but when you see something like that, where there is that bright of a spark in the sky and next second it lands in front of you… its speed is 360,000 km/h. He is the only warlord you can see coming at you BECAUSE he wears bright clothes. Is that good or bad? Who knows. 

Doflamingo seems to first be flying at 20ish degrees downward toward the shore, but in the last moment (ten meter from the ground or less) he makes his approach a full horizontal one, because he whooshes past the marines in a full horizontal, linear direction and then does that epic landing.

For now we’ll focus on the descent speed, which includes his linear speed when he whooshes past the marines (in the anime when he whooshes past them he is not visible to them, he leaves blurs). 

I don’t want to fuck with curves. There’ll be tangents and there’s no need for them. I don’t think his strings even let him make a curved downward descent? He can do curves turns, but I don’t think he can do descents? It’s up for debate.

Okay, so let’s say Doflamingo is about 100 meters high in the sky. He reaches the ground within 0.05 seconds in the anime. Not even 1 full second, oh boy, fluffy man is FAST, GODDAMN. My eyes just bulged out of my head. Okay. Props to the anime team, that is a great show of his speed right there by making it last such a short time. 

Also, they never see him completely until he lands. We, the viewer see him, which means he is at maximum 4.8 km away (this is how far the human eye can see).

That means Doflamingo passes 4.8 km within 0.05 seconds.

I’m scared to calculate this, to be honest. This will be… this will be fast.

Let’s convert kilometers into meters to make our life easier. We get m/s and then we’ll convert them to km/h.

Buckle up. Keep a death grip on those feathers. Doflamingo hasn’t landed yet.

4.8 • 1000 = 4800 meters

descent speed = 4800 m/ 0.05 s

Descent speed (m/s)= 96 000 m/s (314 960 feet/s)

And into kilometers

Descent speed = 356,600 km/h (221 580 mph)

O.O

Holy fuck.

Yeah, crazy fast. You know, it makes sense now why G2 Luffy (who we’ll put moves at 2,400 km/h based on jet speed) was nothing in terms of speed. Damn.

Okay, so… this speed has not been achieved by any atmospheric or orbital aircraft, so I genuinely have nothing to compare it to. This is the velocity of objects in deep space like gravitational slingshots.

Okay, let’s put it into Machs. Fastest Mach we know of is Mach 30. Okay.

Formula is:

Mach number = speed of the object/speed of sound

Speed of sound is 343 m/s.

Mach number = 96 000/342

Mach number= 279.3 Mach

Doflamingo’s descent speed is Mach 279.3

No wonder he’s a blur. No wonder they only see him as a fckn spark in the sky. 

He didn't simply break the sound barrier here, he left the sound barrier at the bottom of the sea.

And he’s landed.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m getting off this 3 meter ride. Yep. Hopping down. It was fun. The coat is really soft.

Thank you for the ride, Doffy. Please go 50 km/h next time.

Taglist: @fanaticsnail

(Let me know if you want me to tag you in my posts and if you want to be tagged only for particular characters, let me know that, too. Thank you all for the love and support, it's really taken me off guard. You're all so wonderful. Love you all ❤️)

[mcntsee]

Letters to her

prologue

summary: kaz’s letter to y/n throughout the years.

warnings: Kaz’s past is kinda mentioned, mentions of death, cursing

note: I tried to express kaz’s feelings and growth with every start and finish of all the letters, hopefully you guys understand it too. I added a little something at the end, hope you enjoy! <3333

first letter:

Deer y/n

My da said you can came come play wheneber you want to come play with my me again can you please come play with me soon pleas?

I miss you and Jordie miss and da and the little kitteny miss you we all misses you very much

Love Kaz!

(I drawed a pist picture of you and me and spots playing)

2nd letter

Dear Y/N,

I hope you're doing okay. I wanted to say a big thank you for being there when we said bye to my da. It made me feel better knowing you were there, even though it was kinda sad.

Guess what? Jordie said we're gonna move to Ketterdam. He says it's cause he wants me to go to a good school there. I'm not sure about leaving this house, but Jordie says it'll be good for us.

The cool part is that you live in Ketterdam! That means we can hang out more and play together. Remember when we used to build forts in the living room and pretend we were pirates? Maybe we can do that in Ketterdam too.

I'll miss this house a bit because it's where we played hide and seek and had ice cream parties, but I think Ketterdam will be fun too. And I'm really happy cause we'll get to see each other more often!

I will see you soon, okay?

Love, Kaz!

3rd letter

Dear y/n,

I'm really, really sorry I haven't come to see you yet. It's not 'cause I don't want to, I promise. You're still my bestest friend ever. It's just that things got a little crazy since we arrived.

Jordie met this guy named Jacob Hertzoon. And guess what? Jacob offered us a whole bunch of money for our house! Jordie said it's a really good thing 'cause we can use the money for important stuff. But it also means we're super busy.

I didn't want you to think I forgot about you or anything. I miss you a lot and I still want to see you and play together. Maybe once we're all settled in our new place and get the money, we can have a big adventure like we used to.

Thanks for being the best friend ever. I promise we'll hang out soon, okay?

Love, Kaz!

4th letter

Y/N,

Are you okay? Please write back! Jordie is gone. I need to know you're alive.

Kaz.

5th letter

Y/N,

I heard you went on quite the journey to Shu Han just to retrieve my cane. I assume the trip was bearable. Your efforts are appreciated.

It's curious how life unfolds, isn't it? One day we're children playing in the streets, the next we're scattered across the world for various reasons. Yet, here we are, still connected by some thread of familiarity.

I imagine you'll return from your expedition when the time is right. Until then, business with the dregs continues as usual. The city keeps turning, and so do its dealings. As for me, well, I have my own matters to attend to as soon as I’m able to walk again.

- K.B.

First note

Get well soon! Let me know if you need anything else.

- Love, Y/n!

6th letter

Y/N,

Your letter reached me, and I must admit, it contained more substance than I anticipated. Word travels fast in the Barrel, and it seems that Haskell has taken quite an interest in your recent endeavors. His words carry weight, though they seldom come without a price.

If his assessment holds true, and you manage to prove your worth in the upcoming job, it could indeed elevate you within the ranks. Haskell’s recognition of your potential is both promising and concerning. The higher one climbs, the more treacherous the fall can be.

In the midst of this, know that I await your return.

May you navigate these challenges with the same tenacity that has carried you thus far. I wish you the best of luck, Y/N. Tread carefully.

- K.B

7th letter

Y/N,

You certainly have a talent for uncovering promising recruits. Jesper Fahey. The word on the street is that he’s got a steady aim that’s worth noticing. The skills he possesses could indeed be valuable, particularly in the line of work we find ourselves engaged in.

However, I must tread cautiously when it comes to individuals entangled in debts and vices. Jesper Fahey, from what I’ve heard, is no stranger to gambling. His tendency to wager recklessly has garnered quite a reputation, one that isn’t entirely favorable. The loyalty of a man buried under the weight of debts is a precarious matter. Whether his skills can outweigh the burden of his choices remains to be seen.

Your perspective on recruits is valued, and I’ll certainly keep a watchful eye on Fahey. I trust your judgment, and I’m willing to entertain the possibility. In the midst of all this, remember that your return is anticipated and your presence missed.

Return safely,

K.B.

8th letter

Y/N,

Do you remember Jesper? It’s almost comical how, after discussing him in my last letter, fate seemed to conspire to validate our conversation. Not long after I sent those words to you, I found myself intervening to prevent Jesper from getting himself thoroughly thrashed due to his gambling debts.

I hope I’ve made the right call by extending a hand to Jesper. It’s a calculated risk, one that I’m hoping will pan out in our favor. There’s potential there, no doubt, but potential doesn’t always translate into reliability.

This letter is short, I know, but I will tell you more about it when you come back.

Stay safe,

K.B

9th letter

Y/n,

It’s been days since your last communication, and the weight of uncertainty presses heavily on me. The quiet absence of your presence has stirred an unease I’m not accustomed to.

I’ve seen you handle insane odds, and I know you’re more than capable. But here I am. My mind keeps wandering to places I’d rather it not go, imagining scenarios that could have unfolded, and none of them are sitting well with me.

I hope that this silence is a result of strategic detachment, that you’re immersed in the intricacies of the job and haven’t had a moment to spare for correspondence.

I’m not accustomed to this vulnerability, nor do I care for it. Yet, here I am, plagued by the absence of information. I ask you, if you’re able, to dispel this uncertainty. A simple message, a token of reassurance – anything to quell this rising tide of apprehension.

I await word from you with an intensity I hadn’t thought possible. May it come soon.

Expectantly,

K.B

10th letter

Y/N,

I received the coat you sent, and I must admit, it's a rare occasion when I'm at a loss for words. It's unlike anything I would've chosen for myself, yet somehow, it feels surprisingly fitting. I can't deny its utility either – I appreciate it.

Jesper and Nina have managed to cultivate a special talent for driving me to the brink of exasperation. Their camaraderie is both amusing and bewildering, a chaotic symphony that I'm still attempting to decipher.

Today was no different. Jesper's antics at the club bordered on audacious, and Nina's unbridled laughter was enough to turn heads in our direction. As I tried to navigate the sea of chaos they create, I found myself, unusually, yearning for a return to some semblance of normalcy.

I must confess, the prospect of your return holds an allure I hadn't anticipated. There's a steadiness in your presence, an understanding that's often a rare commodity in these tumultuous times. The chaos, the hustle – they feel more manageable when you're around.

Till then, I'll persevere in the sea of antics that Jesper and Nina stir up, counting down the days until your return.

Until then,

Kaz

11th letter

Y/N,

Your mention of the jurda parem caught my attention, no doubt about it. It’s a name that carries weight, and I’ve got a feeling we’re treading on some dangerous ground here. It’s the kind of thing that’s best left untouched until we’ve got a better handle on what it entails.

Listen, I won’t preach, but I’ve got to say it – be careful and keep an eye out for trouble. The city’s not known for being kind to those who don’t tread carefully, and I’d hate to see you caught in something you didn’t see coming.

I’ve got a job for you. One that’s right up your alley. It’s always better discussing these things face to face, so when you can, make your way back. The sooner, the better.

Until then,

Kaz

12th letter

Y/N,

I’ve never been one for words, as you well know. My tongue seems to have a mind of its own, often saying the wrong things at the wrong time. And when it comes to matters like these, I’ve found that my eloquence takes a swift exit.

So, here I am, writing this letter in hopes that the words come out right, that they somehow capture what I’m feeling. I’ve spent years navigating the intricacies of this city, and yet the complexities of my own emotions have managed to elude me.

I’ve always valued our connection, from those early days of childhood mischief to the present. You’ve been a constant in my life, someone whose presence brings a sense of order to the chaos that surrounds us. And somewhere along the way, that bond transformed into something deeper, something I’ve been grappling with.

I find myself wanting to say more, to articulate the thoughts that remain half-formed in my mind. But it’s difficult, Y/N, and this letter might be the best I can manage.

What I’m trying to say is that you’ve become more than a friend, more than a partner in crime. There’s a depth to my feelings that I’m only beginning to understand. And if I’m being truly honest, I’d like to explore where this path might lead.

I understand if you need time, if my sudden candor is a lot to process. But I wanted to put these thoughts down, to let you know where my heart is at. And if you’re open to it, if you’ve felt even a fraction of what I’ve been feeling, then maybe we can navigate this new terrain together.

Kaz.

Second note

I’d like to explore where this path might lead too.

Love, y/n!

13th letter

Y/N,

I can't thank you enough for stepping in when I couldn't. I hope the contractor in Lij wasn’t hard to handle.

Now, I have a proposal of a different kind. How about we put our skills to use in a more relaxed setting? I'd like to take you out to dinner. No heists, no secret dealings, just you and me, navigating the menu instead of the back alleys.

I've made reservations for us at a place that's a bit more reputable than the Barrel's taverns. Consider it a step toward normalcy, a chance to enjoy an evening without looking over our shoulders.

Looking forward to your return,

Kaz

14th letter

Dear Y/N,

Your letter reached me, and I've got to say, the way you put it into words – how much you miss me – it hits home. The distance is a constant reminder of the warmth I've grown accustomed to, and I find myself missing you more than I thought possible.

This job is driving me insane, and my thoughts often wander back to Ketterdam, back to you. It's like a pull, a magnetic force that tugs me back to the life we've been building together.

I bought something with me – a box of those chocolates you can't seem to get enough of. The catch? I'm hoping they survive the journey and don't turn into a gooey mess.

I want you to know that with every sunrise and sunset that passes, I'm getting more restless to return to the city that's been our canvas, our backdrop. Until then, my thoughts are with you, and I'm eagerly counting down the days until I can wrap my arms around you again.

With all my longing,

Kaz

3rd note

I apologize, it seems the chocolates didn’t fare too well. I hope they’re still somewhat salvageable and that they manage to satisfy your sweet tooth.

- Kaz

15th letter

Dear Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you on the mend, wrapped in warmth and taking good care of yourself. It pains me to know you're unwell while I'm away, unable to offer even the smallest comfort.

My love, get well soon. I miss your laughter, your presence – they're a part of my life I can't bear to be without for long. The distance feels heavier when I know you're not well.

Today, during the heist, I saw a small brown cat with delicate white spots. The sight of it was like a reminder of simpler times, of moments when things were less complex. It stirred memories of my old cat "Spots," whose antics used to provide a reprieve from the realities of the Barrel.

As I look around, I find myself yearning for the day when I'll return to Ketterdam. Until then, my thoughts are with you, my love. Rest well, recover soon, and know that I will be there soon.

With all my affection,

Kaz

16th letter

Dearest Y/N,

There are times in life when words are inadequate, when even the most eloquent phrases fall short of capturing the depth of one's emotions. Today is one such day, and I find myself grappling with a sentiment that defies my usual precision.

I love you, Y/N. There, I've said it, though the words seem almost insufficient to convey the weight of my feelings. You've woven your presence into the very fabric of my being, and I find that I'm navigating uncharted territory, stumbling upon emotions that have long remained dormant.

In a world marked by uncertainties, you've become my constant, the one I turn to when the winds of the Barrel grow fierce. I cherish our bond, our shared history, and the future we're forging together.

As the days pass, my conviction only grows stronger. You've touched a part of me I thought was unreachable, and I find myself grateful for the warmth you've brought into my life.

Love,

Kaz

4th note

I love you too, more than words can express.

- Love, y/n!

17th letter

My Love,

I've stumbled upon something while on my trip to Lij, a revelation that caught me by surprise. My old house is up for sale. I confess, it's a notion that's been hovering in the back of my mind, a possibility I've been toying with.

And then, as if fate had a hand to play, it occurred to me – what if we made it our own? Y/N, would you consider it? The thought of creating new memories in a space that's intertwined with my past is something that holds a certain allure. A place where we could carve out our own sanctuary, away from the schemes and chaos that surround us.

If this notion speaks to you, let me know. It's a step I'd only take with you, a shared decision that would mark a new chapter in our journey together.

Love,

Kaz

18th letter

This is to certify that Y/N L/N and Kaz Brekker is (are) now registered as the absolute proprietor(s) of the land comprised in the above-mentioned title, subject to the entries in the register relating to the land and to such of the overriding interests set out in section 30 of the Registered Land Act as may for the time being subsist and affect the land.

Kaz Brekker __________

19th letter

My love Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you in good spirits, even though I’m far away in Shu Han. I wanted to share something with you – I stumbled upon the perfect dining table. It’s a piece that seems to embody the essence of what we’ve built together, a symbol of the life we’re crafting, even from a distance.

As I stand here, thousands of miles away, my thoughts are never far from Ketterdam, from you. Every corner of the city is a reminder of our shared journey, of the future we’re molding. And with every passing day, I find myself longing to return, to be by your side again.

The plans we’ve made, the dreams we’ve spun – they’re a driving force, propelling me forward through the challenges that Shu Han presents. I promise you, Y/N, I’ll be back soon enough.

Until then, know that you’re in my thoughts, my heart, every moment of the day.

With all my affection,

Kaz

20th letter

Love,

I’ve come across some interesting information that might be of use to you. It seems that there’s a rumor circulating about a certain merchant in the Fifth Harbor. This merchant, it’s said, has been trying to make deals with both the Merchants Council and the Whitecrows, something that has my interest piqued.

I’ve also managed to uncover some details about a potential source of counterfeit currency that might be making its way into the hands of certain unsavory individuals. The source, surprisingly, seems to be tied to a printing press hidden away in the Barrel. It’s a curious development, one that could have far-reaching consequences.

And finally, I’ve received word that a shipment of goods has gone missing from a storage warehouse near the docks. This might not seem significant at first glance, but it’s the timing that intrigues me. A missing shipment, coupled with the merchant’s deals and the counterfeit currency – it’s all connected, I’m certain of it.

Stay vigilant, stay cautious. And know that even in the midst of our separate tasks, you’re in my thoughts.

I miss you, and I love you.

Love,

Kaz

21st letter

Y/N,

Listen to me, and listen carefully. You need to come back to Ketterdam, now. What you walked into, it was a trap – calculated, deliberate. I can’t explain it all in this letter, but trust me when I say your safety is in jeopardy.

I don’t care what you’re in the middle of, what plan you’re executing – drop it, and make your way back. I can’t lose you, not now, not like this. The threat is real, and the longer you stay where you are, the more danger you’re in.

I’m begging you, Y/N, hurry back. We can sort through the details, I’ll explain everything, but right now, all that matters is your safety. Don’t delay, don’t second-guess. Just come back.

Kaz

22nd letter

Love,

I’m pleading with you, begging you to reach out, to let me know you’re safe. This silence, it’s a torment I can’t bear. Every thought is tinged with worry, and I find myself grappling with scenarios that are far too grim.

I don’t care about the details, the reasons – they pale in comparison to my overwhelming need to know you’re okay. We’ve faced down darkness together, navigated treacherous waters, and I can’t accept the idea of you being lost in the midst of it all.

Please, Y/N, come back to Ketterdam. If you’re reading this, if you’re anywhere, find a way to let me know you’re alive. I’ll make sense of the rest later. Just, my love, come back to me.

Kaz

23rd letter

Y/N,

I can’t wait any longer. The silence is a weight on my chest, a suffocating reminder of the unknown. I’ve agonized, I’ve begged, and still, there’s no word from you. It’s time I take matters into my own hands.

Please, hold on. I’m coming. I hope you’re okay, I hope you’re just out of reach, waiting for me to catch up. It’s a risk I have to take.

I love you.

Stay strong, my love. I’m on my way.

24th letter

My Dearest Y/N,

It's been a week since you left us, a week of darkness and aching emptiness that nothing can fill. I know you won't get this letter, that these words will remain suspended in the void, but I find myself needing to put them down, needing to release the feelings that have taken hold of me.

The pain is suffocating, a weight that's settled into my bones. I still can't grasp the reality, can't accept that you're gone, that your light has been extinguished. It's a void that stretches beyond comprehension, a void I'm stumbling through.

The memories are a double-edged sword. They're a balm, a reminder of the moments we shared, of your laughter, your warmth. But they're also a blade, a reminder of what's been taken from us, of the future that was stolen away.

I want you to know, even though you'll never read these words – I love you. I always have, and I always will. You were more than a partner, more than a confidant. You were my anchor, my solace, my reason to keep pushing forward.

It's impossible to fathom life without you, Y/N. Your absence leaves a void that can never be filled. I can only hope that wherever you are, you're at peace, free from the pain that's gripped my heart.

Until we meet again, my love,

Kaz

25th letter

My dearest Y/N,

Six months have passed, and the ache of your absence has only deepened. The city, our city, is a different place without you. The crows, the ones you brought together, are slowly finding their separate paths, their separate destinies. It's as if the world itself is reshaping in your absence.

I found the little box where you kept all those letters. Your letters, my words – I'm surprised, in a way, that you kept them all. It's a piece of you that I'll treasure forever.

It's in these moments of solitude that I find myself yearning for your presence the most. Your laughter, your insights – they're still very much alive in my memories, and they continue to guide me through the labyrinthine twists of this world.

I miss you, Y/N. More than words can say. The void you left behind is as vast as the Barrel itself, and there's a hollowness that's impossible to fill. I can only hope that, wherever you are, you've found the peace that eluded you in life.

Until the next time we meet, my love,

Kaz

26th letter

My Dearest Y/N,

Time has continued its relentless march, and two years have slipped through my grasp since you left us. The city, once our canvas, has taken on a different hue, a different weight. The crows have scattered, their paths diverging, and the life we built together feels like a distant memory.

I wanted to share something with you – I've made a decision about the house, the one that once held the echoes of our shared history. It's a decision born out of the reality that without you, it's ceased to be a home. The walls, the rooms – they're empty without your presence, and it's a stark reminder of what's been lost.

Putting it up for sale again, it's not just about letting go of a physical space. It's about acknowledging that our time together, our shared moments, live on in memories, not in bricks and mortar. I carry you with me, always, but it's time to release the hold the house had on me.

Life continues to move forward, though it's a path I tread with a shadow that can never be dispelled. I hope, wherever you are, you've found the peace that eluded you in life. And I hope, wherever I am, you're watching over me, your presence a guiding light through the darkness.

With a heart full of love,

Kaz

27th letter

My dearest,

It's been almost three years, and some days it feels like it was just yesterday when I last saw you. I miss you, fuck, I miss you so much. It's like this gaping hole, this emptiness that can't be filled. No matter how many schemes I plan, no matter how many crows I put to work, it's like there's this void that's always there.

I was gonna do it, you know? I was gonna ask you. I got this ring, this small little thing that I bought just a month before you fucking died. It's funny, you know, I never thought I'd be the one to feel this way, to want something that much, to want to stake a claim in this shithole of a world.

But I guess that's what you did to me. You turned this cold, calculating schemer into someone who wanted more, who wanted you. I'm sorry I didn't ask you sooner, that I waited, that I let time slip through my fingers like sand. I'm sorry I couldn't be the one you deserved.

You were my light, Y/N. You shined a light into my darkest corners, and now that you're gone, it's like the shadows have returned with a vengeance. I need you, I need you so fucking much it's like a knife in my gut every damn day.

I don't know where you are, what's out there after this life, but I hope you're somewhere better. I hope you're at peace, and I hope you know that I'm here, waiting in this shithole, missing you every fucking day.

I love you, Y/N. I love you so fucking much it hurts. And I wish... I wish I could've showed it more when you were still here.

With all my shattered pieces,

Kaz

28th letter

Deer Y/N,

This will be the last letter I write to you, and as I put pen to paper, I’m filled with a mixture of emotions that words could never truly capture. The passage of time has been unkind, separating us by years that have felt both fleeting and eternal.

It’s strange, the way grief works. It’s a steady ache that never truly fades, an ache I’ve grown accustomed to carrying. There’s an emptiness in my heart that’s become a part of me, a void that can never be filled by anyone or anything else.

I’ve learned to navigate this world without you, though it’s been a journey fraught with challenges and moments of unbearable pain. There’s a longing, a yearning, that can never be quenched. You were my constant, the force that kept me grounded, and now that you’re gone, there’s a piece of me that will forever remain incomplete.

As time marches on, I find myself grappling with a heartbreaking reality – the sound of your voice is fading from my memory. The way you felt, the touch of your hand in mine, it’s becoming harder to recall. It’s as though the vibrant details of your presence are slipping through my fingers, leaving behind a hazy impression.

And oh, Y/N, the thought that your laughter will never again reach my ears, it’s a pain that reverberates through my very being. Your face, once etched in my mind with unparalleled clarity, is beginning to blur around the edges. The little details that I once treasured, the nuances that made you uniquely you, they’re slipping away, like grains of sand carried by the wind.

I love you, Y/N. Those words have become a mantra, a whispered refrain that echoes in the corners of my mind. I carry your memory with me, every step of the way, and I hold onto the hope that, wherever you are, you’ve found the peace that eluded you in life.

As I place this letter alongside the others, a part of me hopes that somehow, somewhere, you’ll receive these words, that you’ll know that you were loved, that you’re still loved, even in your absence.

I miss you, “we all misses you very much.”

Love, Kaz!

[serialadoptersbracket]

Round 4, Match 2: August vs. Simon Petrikov

Submitted kids:

August: Hisoka Mikage, Chikage Utsuki

Simon Petrikov: Marceline Abadeer, Finn the Human, Fionna the Human, Jay Mertens

Propaganda under the cut!

August:

1. “august is the adoptive older brother of hisoka mikage and chikage utsuki. for context, these characters are all spies, and were invited into the organisation by august. (also known as misha sometimes). hisoka is december, and chikage is april! their collective group name in fanon is "gekkagumi."

the first interaction we see of him in game is him adopting hisoka off the street. he was a dying homeless child, and august invited him to join the organisation. at first he declined, but august kept coming back to him until he followed (despite chikage's protests about it) he fed fed hisoka gingerbread, and declared "we're a family now."

chikage was adopted before hisoka, but we only learned more about it later in the story. chikage was living in a "facility" when he runs into august who lives in the organisation.

despite their very harsh life, august really did everything he could to give hisoka and chikage the best life he could. he loved the idea of family, and always encouraged them to celebrate christmas and birthdays, and play games!

august had a cover job where he owned a candy store. despite it just being a cover, august loved it and had a genuine care for the children. he used to give away free sweets to the point his shop was actively going out of business, and whenever he saw a sad kid he'd try his best to cheer them up. people around the town came in just to talk to him, to the point where hisoka said when he was covering the shop for him, the first thing people would ask was "where's misha?"

in his shop, he also used to have a myth that if you wrote a wish on a certain brand of cookie's wrapper, the wish would come true. august spoke excitedly of the wishes kids would wish for.

events in the story lead up to august's untimely death. years later, hisoka runs into a kid who used to go to his shop. this child had wished to be a painter, and was now painting. he actually ended up in possession of a wrapper august wrote on which said "a happy family." however, the boy couldn't read japanese and didn't know what it said. despite that, he held onto the wrapper for years after august's disappearance. he also manages to draw a picture of him from memory. :((”

2. “he's so . gwahh he just wants to give them a nice family”

3. “please vote for august!! he is such a kind soul who shows so much generosity and selflessness despite the cruel circumstances he was stuck in.”

Simon Petrikov:

1. “My guy saw a child (or young adult) in trouble and said is anybody gonna be a supportive figure in their life?' and didn't wait for an answer”

2. “cant stop won't stop adopting kids. constantly implied that he's wanted to be a dad forever (Marcy, him being so upset about making a little girl cry, calling out the Vampire King on being a bad father, etc) and the realest real to ever real. you agree.”

3. “SIMON SWEEP PLEASE man has not gone through 1000+ years of Ice King Shenanigans to not be voted the best father”

[thelittleliars]

Love Forever? | Pt. 2

Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader Yelena Belova x fem!Reader (Platonic)

Warnings: cursing, yelling

Words: 2.1K

AN: This one has more interactions with Yelena than Natasha but it's all a huge part for the full story! Also the 3rd part is going to take at least 1-2 weeks since I'll be traveling to Budapest in the next couple of days! Gonna visit all the Black Widow filming locations there 🔥

Part 1 , Part 3

"Cyka" Yelena cursed in russian before she cursed you in english again. "You bitch! Why would you travel to Russia without me?" She shook her head in disappointment, you saw a grin on her lips tho when she turned her head to the side to see who walked in. You didn't see who it was since you were on FaceTime with her and only she was in the frame. "Who is in Russia?" You heard her voice in the background asking Yelena.

"Your ex-wife." Ex-wife, it was still something that pained you but the separation did you good. Your anxiety with all the worrying whenever Natasha went on a mission was gone now. You felt more at peace thanks to the break up. "Anyways, have you visit mama and papa yet? Last time I heard they were going insane to see you again. Apparently they can't wait to spoil you rotten with russian culture and stories of us as kids ugh."

"Don't forget about the baby pictures they're gonna show her." Nat reminded Yelena who's expression looked a mix of embarrassment and panic. "Yours gonna be there too Natalia. Can't wait for Y/N to see your awful blue hair phase."

You saw a shadow coming closer to the blonde widow, then a hand came into view hitting the back of her head. "You little bitch! Next time I'm there I'll burn all of them."

"Let's just burn the whole place down yeah?" A gasp escaped your mouth, even though you knew she was kidding it was something she'd really do. "Yel NO! Also Nat please don't burn any of them." You said sadly. "I wish I had at least a single photo of myself as a child. Hell I don't even know where I'm from, apart from being held by hydra for half my life."

"Guess we're all in the same boat. None of us knows where exactly we come from. Oh oh we can be the lost daughters buddies." The younger sister screamed out in pain after her older sister slapped the back of her head once again. "Try sheering her up instead of ruining the mood with some sad shit from our past."

Suddenly your screen went black, you were about yo look at your wifi to see if the connection was lost but before that could even happen you heard a chair screeching. "What gave you the right to give me that fucking advice huh? How about you stay out of my business with her since you were the one who destroyed your relationship." Yelena was mad, no she was furious with her sister, that's why you weren't surprised that she hung up on you. This was a great time to start driving towards your (ex) parents in law.

You took your bags, threw them into the car you rented, then jumping into the drivers seat and made your way towards Melina's and Alexei's little farm outside of Saint Petersburg. Not long after, you arrived your destination, Melina and Alexei both stood outside already as if they were expecting you. You did not call or text them since it was supposed to be a surprise.

"Ahh finally, my daughter is home again." Alexei walked to you and immediately his arms around your body, squeezing you to death. "I need to breath big guy." He let you go but still smiled at you happily. "Come on inside. I'll show you your room. We decorated a bit, hope you'll like it."

The decoration he was talking about were only new curtains and a stuffed penguin animal. You appreciated their effort.

Later that day when you were outside feeding the pigs, you heard and saw a Quinjet coming. Of course Yelena had the nerve taking a jet and flying to russia. But she wasn't alone. Natasha also tagged along. You gulped at the sight of her standing there in casual clothes. It was actually your first time seeing her in six months. The last time was after the divorce all those months ago. Alexei of course was the happiest, now that all his daughters were home. Melina was happy to see them too but she was more worried about you. At times she was more protective over you than Yelena and even though it was heartwarming, it pained you too. She was like a mother figure that you never had. The longing and grieving of a life you could have had nearly destroyed you whenever you think deeply about it.

"Natasha I need a little help in the kitchen." Was all she said before going inside and the red head trailing after her like a good god. Yelena and dad catched up on stuff while you sat down on a bench near the front door that had a great view on the animals. You had no clue how much time had gone by until your friend and sister sat down next to you. "What is on your mind Y/N Y/L/N?" She tried to get you talking by saying your whole name as teasing but you were starting to feel numb so nothing would bother you anyways.

"As you'd say my ex wife." Seeing her after all this time stirred up a lot of thoughts in you. "What about her precisely?"

You sighed quietly. "I don't know. I guess it's just us in general and how we ended up here." It wasn't a lie but also not the whole truth either. You didn't want to talk in details since you knew it would get you in a vulnerable state. "She was a bitch for demanding that divorce.."

Out of reflex you started to defend your ex. "She got trigged Yel-" "No. Don't. Don't you dare make excuses for her." Yelena cut you off fast. She hated you for defending Natasha in this situation when you deserved so much better.

"It's just the truth. Plus I'm not as innocent in this situation as you think I am." You could have fought more for your wife but instead you signed the divorce papers quick. Probably because of the things that happened before the accident. "Natasha and I had a pretty nasty fight right before she got called on a mission and got her head injury." You paused for a minute. "If I'm being honest.. our marriage was falling apart anyways."

Yelena gaped at you. "I don't understand Natasha always talked so highly of you." You wished that was true, you wished all the good she found in you was actually good.

"I told you this was going to happen!" You yell at her, feeling angry and betrayed that she didn't listen to you. "And yet you ignored me and continue doing it anyways." Natasha hates herself for not listening to you but she'd never admit that out loud. Instead she blames you for everything, she knows it is wrong but it's difficult for her being truthful and vulnerable right now. "This wouldn't have happened if you were more open to the idea of being more affectioned in public. Maybe then he'd have known that I'm not single!"

"He kissed you. Because you kept flirting with him to get what you want.. you're an avenger for gods sake! You can get anything you want just by asking Tony or any of us." You stop yourself from getting even more louder. A deep breath and a few seconds is all you need to be more calm. "You know what? Maybe they all were right when they said you are a monster. Because right now, that's all I see."

The fight didn't leave your mind, it stayed and harassed you daily on repeat. You knew you guys covered up a lot of your problems. A marriage is a piece of work and you guessed you both weren't just ready for that huge marriage step. "Would you ever take her back?" She asked you softly. You were looking so hard for the right words to say but you fell flat. "I'm not in love with her anymore so I don't know." Though you didn't know for sure you constantly told yourself you'rw not in love anymore. If that was the truth then why did you panic when a knock came from the door frame? Why did your heart beat faster when you saw it was Natasha who knocked?

"Dinner is ready." Her voice was quiet but still so damn soft. While you stood up and walked towards the front foor, Yelena's gaze lingered on you for a while before she rushed after you into the house. At dinner you all fell into a comfortable conversation. It felt very awkward at first especially since you were convinced that your ex-lover overheard what you told Yelena. You were also anxious but it got better once Alexei started talking about his new tattoo shop. He had opened it two months ago and was fully booked out already. You were happy for him, tattoos were something what he was extremly good at so the demand was so deserved. After dinner was over you all three went to the bedrooms which you all had to share.

The next morning you wondered why 'dad' was still here. He explained that there was a new girl who worked at his tattoo shop, helping him out for all the appointments. Then he joked about how he'd set any of you three up with her. The blonde daughter just snorted, not wanting anything to do with romance, but he was too excited for an introduction to notice Yelena's obvious disinterest. Maybe he did notice since he showed a photo of her only to Natasha and you. And that was when something struck in you, you didn’t know how or why but you had to see the girl personally. You asked him where his shop was located and after giving you directions you stood up, turned to Yelena asking her to drive you there. Natasha felt irritated at how fast you wanted to see that new girl.

As soon as your eyes met hers, everything around you stopped, you felt a pull to her, a magical pull that you couldn't control. Your arms came around each other and somehow nothing on the world made more sense than this moment.

"Voi herranjumala." (Oh my god.) She said something in a language you thought you knew yet you didn't understood a thing. You pulled away, still standing close to her, she then put your face in between her hands. "Kaipaan sinua, kaksos Y/N." (I missed you, twin Y/N)

"Please don't tell me this is some long lost love reunion." Yelena groaned in misery. You looked at her cluelessly, hoping she'd also pick up your silent plead to help you out in this situation. "Don't look at me! You were the one who rushed me here and hugged her like no there's no tomorrow."

The girl next to you cleared her throat before speaking up, this time finally in a language you all could understand. "Ohh right.. I'm sorry I forgot you don't understand Finnish anymore." Anymore?? What the hell did that mean? "We don't have much time, I'll explain everything later. Twin Y/N do tell me, have you found your one and only?"

You blinked at her. "My what?" She cursed in Finnish, huffing and what seemed beating herself up about something. "Your, what humans would call here, Soulmate." You didn't question her 'what humans' and just shook your head. "I thought I did but no."

"Tell me, what happened?" Her gaze turned extremly intense, you started to feel uncomfortable. "Well we started to fight at one point and then she got a head injury and et voila we were divorced."

Yelena had enough of this conversation, the pulled you backwards and stood in front of you, giving the other girl a death stare. "Whatever you're doing to Y/N has to stop right now or otherwise I'll beat you up." You knew she was dead serious about it, your sister in law was super protective over you. "I'm not doing anything, it's all her doing. We do have to stop talking so slowly, we need to hurry."

"Why hurry? I don't understand?" She visibly got more restless which stresses you out. "You're out of time soon. We have to find your soulmate now." You shock your head at the lady and her crazy words. "I'm sorry this has to be done." And with one finger snap, both of you were gone.

Tags: @iamthescarlettwitch , @dark-hunter16 , @marvel-fan-2021 , @myfturn , @natsxwife , @wandanats-goodgirl , @supaheroine , @00alycia , @xxsekhmet , @franfrolix , @lonewalker17 , @newawakening9 , @marvelwomen-simp , @automaticwizardnerd , @wifeofnatasharomanoff

[evilwickedme]

Ooh, do you have any good Jason fic recs?

anon I cannot tell you how long I've been waiting to see those words!!!! yes I have good Jason fic recs in fact I have so many good Jason fic recs that after narrowing it down I still have fifteen links for you

I have read more fanfic for Jason Todd than maybe any other character ever. I do not understand the hold this man has on me but it's simply the situation we're in. anyway

Jason comes home fics

Make a Little Birdhouse In Your Soul is hands down my favorite. I'm talking favorite DC fic, top fics of all time period, not just from this list. I love this fic series. It is actively and regularly updating, thank fuck, because that little boost of serotonin is everything keeping me going I swear

The 70 Days After Groundhog Day is technically from Dick's POV, but it's about the aftermath of a timeloop that Jason was stuck in. it's. oh my god it's so good. just trust me on this one.

Emotional Motion Sickness is the "bruce goes to therapy" fic series we all want. canon get on this level

Retrograde Motion - I never used to like de-aging fics; not for any particular reason, I just never vibed with them. Recently I decided to see what all the fuss was about (bc there's so goddamn many in this fandom) and I'm glad, because I opened this fic and it's just. oh my god. the use of the de-aging trope here is truly incredible. after a whole week of dipping my feet into the trope I never need to do so again, because this fic made me fucking lose it. this is not going where you think it's going. also, for some reason there's not that much rebirth outlaws fic, and I really like what this author did with that team

matching wounds haha just gonna sneak my fic series on here and pretend that it was an accident, wait how did that get there (some jayroy later in the timeline too which can be read on its own if Jason coming home fics aren't for you)

other non-ship

Too Much Fucking Salt deals with the straw that broke the camel's back. I've read all 22k words of this in one sitting more than once. this is the anti "Jason Todd comes home" fic (this is in itself a whole genre of fic too honestly).

take his name out of your mouth (you don't deserve to mourn) is about Jason mourning himself, which he fucking deserves to. also he smokes a joint with Dick

Sown in Winter is about Jason pulling himself out of a depressive episode partially through the power of Stardew Valley. also technically jayroy, but it's honestly incidental to the story for the most part imo

JayRoy

I do read other ships for Jason but unabashedly this is my favorite, so

A Solid Resume - competency kink. that's all I have to say.

Tenderize is a series of oneshots all of which slowly build Jason and Roy's life together and coparenting lian and I just !!! could also double as a Jason coming home au but honestly that's mostly in the first fic. also a lot of discussion of various chain grocery stores in the united states that I will probably never actually step foot in

Dick Grayson and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Two to Three Weeks (But Who's Counting) is so fucking funny I die every time I reread this. there's a scene early on in a coffee shop that just. I don't even know what to say everything about this is perfect. I AM the girl sticking her nose in their business, at least spiritually.

dust devils on the horizon isn't even the only western au I've bookmarked for these two. something about jayroy and horses, man

unity of time: april 27th, 2020 is just,,,, super sad, man, idk what to tell you. it's f!jayroy, but happens after Roy died in sanctuary during the 24h of Jason's death day, so all of it is very fucking depressing. It's also fucking beautiful. I want to reread it now.

Promise After That I'll Let You Go is a poisonivory fic. I was introduced to poisonivory through the daredevil fandom earlier this year and may I tell you when I found out that this author writes for jayroy I lost my goddamn mind. this is my personal favorite, but I almost recommended at least two more aus. Their jayroy sugar daddy au is one of the only sugar daddy aus I've ever truly enjoyed. also really like the one where roy has had feelings for dick since their teen titans days but still starts a fwb thing with Jason. poisonivory can make me into kinks I'm not even into I s2g. anyway this one has lian literally dragging roy back into jason's life

finally, Reciprocation (or: Sex as Violence) shouldn't even really count as a jayroy fic but I feel weird putting it in the other category since it is sort of a jayroy fic. it's ace-aro!jason, which is one of my personal favorite interpretations of Jason (with so much textual evidence wtf), but there's still like... a lot of sex in this. Jason does not have a healthy relationship with sex in this fic. I would describe this as ending in a QPP for jayroy and lian.

honestly there's a lot of good jason and roy and lian fic out there I didn't rec cause this is already long enough

so yeah this is my very VERY pared down fic rec list for Jason Todd let me know if you want more and thank you so much for asking

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls-Season 2, Episode 12, Part 2 ("Richard In Stars Hollow")

Part 1 and all other episodes here

"You built me a car?" "I built you a car." Version 2.0:

Yes it has already been established that a car has been built.

Sorry Lorelai, he's not gonna build you a plane for you to fuck him in. #SexPlane

Let's see how Lorelai takes this completely factual observation.

If your grandfather had pulled out your father wouldn't exist and I wouldn't be here listening to "you built me a car" again and having to hear about Lorelai's Sex With Dean Plane. What does your father and grandfather being good with cars have to do with anything? How does that make you a mechanic? Where's that motorcycle you supposedly had in season 1? Why is your scarf so ugly? I bet that coat you're wearing smells. That haircut is so stupid. It's that time again! Time for "Dean proceeds to get a very snippy attitude with an adult and Lorelai doesn't care because he's not Jess and she wants to fuck him on their Sex Plane."

You're a certified Butthead, that's all you are.

Gotta love Lorelai jeopardizing her daughter's life by letting her drive some death trap built by a 17 year old butthead with zero automotive experience because "it's a nice thing he did." It's not a fucking ceramic mug he made for her in a pottery class, it's a car. He built her a car (did you catch that yet?) Lorelai just gets more and more insufferable and we're only at the halfway mark of season 2. It will continue to go downhill from here. *straps in* Isn't this the car that Jess totals in Teach Me Tonight? That's the only good thing to come out of that wretched episode.

Rory, you gotta stop with that sad puppy face, you're breaking my heart. If he's so fucking good at bulding cars why didn't he do that for a living after high school instead of just being a career butthead? Why didn't he go to automotive school or something and keep himself busy and do something to contribute to society instead of trapping poor Lindsay into making his meatloaf? (#JusticeForLindsay) Why is his face so god damn punchable? I hate everything about you, sir. I wish you would perish. Truly. He claims Gypsy inspected the car (I think this is the first time she's mentioned on the show?) but literally 30 seconds ago Richard asked him "have you even driven it past a mechanic?" and he said no, but now all of a sudden all of these people have inspected the car. Butthead continues to snip at, make sarcastic comments to, and raise his voice at Richard. Rory and Lorelai just stand there. I'm not convinced Butthead can even read no less build a complicated piece of machinery. Richard and Dean mosey on over to Gypsy's in their respective cawrs so Butthead can prove to Richard that his Death Trap is safe. Gypsy inspects Dean's Metal Box of Death and declares there is absolutely nothing wrong with Dean's handiwork. He did a perfect job. We are to believe this 17 year old butthead who had to fake knowing how to read to impress Rory and is not in the automotive trade made aboslutely zero mistakes building a car from a scratch. Mmmkay.

Really? Great! That was the plan all along.

...should have pulled out. We learn a little more about Butthead's family history besides the fact that his father's pullout game is weak. His father has a shop where he sells and installs stereos. His mother transcribes medical records. And that was your peek into the exciting World of Butthead.

While it feels like every breath and eye blink exchanged between R&J has had a PHd thesis written about it at some point, there are some scenes that nobody seems to care about, like this one? It got to a point that I never saw it on Twitter and Instagram and between viewings of the show I would start to think I must have imagined it. Why, I don't know. Because it's cute as heck and it's one his more clever pranks. Certainly better than the chalk outline.

You gotta love Jess putting dirty movies into G-rated movie boxes. Unlike the chalk outline prank, he did it purely to get back at the people who had screwed Rory over. My sweet baby.

How utterly depressing that this is not even a joke anymore and a completely true statement in the year 2023.

No. No bye. You stay right here. *holds him hostage* Let's enjoy a few screen shots of pure unadulterated joy.

HE'SS JUST A BABY.

PURE JOY.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s13e14 good intentions (w. meredith glynn)

well that was a little bit of the old spn spark for a second there, with the hallucination/vision/whatever hot!zachariah was giving jack. very sweet and sad. something about the sound design and the dialogue.. of the offscreen voices of sam and dean, it had sort of a... theater feel to it? (watching with headphones and maybe a little bit high so, grain of salt) plus just the very... childlike wish fulfillment of kiddo with absent parents.

DEAN You know what? We made it, though. You, me and the kid. Finally under one roof. SAM And you know what, honestly, it doesn’t matter where he’s been. I’m just glad Jack’s back. DEAN Right, home safe. Where he belongs.

like 💔 i didn't realize they really went with this nuclear family thing straight out

also when the fake fire is happening sam and dean sound about as distressed (maybe more?) as you'll ever hear them in this show and that was distressing even knowing it couldn't be real

ZACHARIAH Yes. And not just a single one-way ticket like the prophet’s spell. This boy, he can open a rift big enough to march an army through. He has so much power. We just… have to make him use it. MICHAEL Then make him.

ok but like. why doesn't michael make his own army of nephilim? he's an archangel still right? what am i missing

i'm sorry donatello but all i can think is

the zachariah!cas sending the images of destroying the environment and wars etc to jack for proof of why humans are bad, reminds me of the fifth element?? i think? leeloo discovering all the bad parts of humanity? and then i think only will save the world? by the power of human love from bruce willis??? lol i've seen that movie a ton but it's been a long ass time

captions staying on for this screenshot 😂

this random fight scene with these random figures from the bible. and donatello being twitchy and obvious as fuck that he's clearly up to something. demon tablet not to be ingested while soulless and under asmodeus's influence?

donatello choking out dean from a distance and laughing like a loon, all righty

so now mary gets the catharsis of hearing from an unbiased source that her demon deal is what ultimately saved the world

bro. there's some bizarro music going on during this fight over donatello being soulless what is HAPPENING. jay gruska, is that you? (of course it is). ugh, if only i wasn't committed to keeping that earlier video clip 😞 (fine it's so goofy i'm adding an mp3 of it) it's tonally a mismatch to the vibe onscreen and is just super random. the horns that come in... lol. anyway.

but we're escalating up to cas whatever, trying to torture it out of him?

SAM Our plan, Dean. The spell, get mom back. Donatello’s soul is gone. That’s not just something you come back from. DEAN You did. SAM Yeah, because you convinced Death to get my soul back from the cage, but Amara ate Donatello’s soul. There’s nothing to get back. It’s gone. CASTIEL And Donatello’s already corrupted. I… perhaps the kindest thing to do would be to end his suffering. SAM What? CASTIEL I don’t like it either. But if Donatello’s life ends, then another prophet comes into being and they can finish the translation. DEAN So what, you just wanna kill him? SAM No! No killing! We just need the spell.

interesting how frantic padalecki is going with this. terrified the Plan is being wrecked yet again

CASTIEL I am going to do something that I promised I would never do to a human being without their permission. I’m gonna strip the spell from your mind. DONATELLO You—you—you—you can’t. I—I’ve absorbed too much power. Y-y-you’ll fry us both! CASTIEL I might. DONATELLO Ardeat intus— CASTIEL I’m sorry, but I’m not going to let you or anyone hurt the people I love. Not again.

well then. cas saving them from the moral quandary again. like killing billie for them

i don't even know what to say about this apocalypse world business with bobby, mary and jack. jack's just. poppin angels, ready to throw down with michael

SAM Well… guess you could say Donatello is alive. CASTIEL You told me not to kill him. DEAN Yeah, but, Cas, you turned him into… he’s brain dead. Machines keeping him breathing. What’s wrong with you? CASTIEL Nothing. SAM Cas— CASTIEL His soul was gone. He was corrupted. He was a danger to himself and to you and to all of humanity. Did you know that he was working with Asmodeus? SAM What? No. CASTIEL Not by choice, but he was. Some people just can’t be saved. DEAN Yeah, but who gets to make that choice? You? What exactly gives you the right? CASTIEL Nothing. I took it. And if I hadn’t acted, we would still be sitting around and talking about what to do next. We would be wasting time. And it’s time we don’t have, Dean. I told you, war is coming. War. And I did what soldiers do. Now we needed the spell to open the rift, and I got it. We need four major ingredients: the grace of an archangel… a fruit from the Tree of Life… the Seal of Solomon… and the blood of “a most holy man.” We find those things, we can bring everybody home. And together, we can beat Lucifer and Michael. This is the only way we win, and this is the only way we survive. It’s like you said, Dean. Whatever it takes.

i mean, surely sam and dean have made these kinds of decisions time and time again. especially when the "whatever it takes" is saving each other. but now cas can take the responsibility/blame for doing the ends justify the means thing

[kirua9]

Makoto's route. Dark 06

Characters mentioned: Ayato Sakamaki, Kanato Sakamaki, Laito Sakamaki, Ruki Mukami, Yui Komori, Makoto Aomine

Monologue :

So things are going like they are... Nothing interesting, but Ruki sometimes recalls what I should to as far as I'm "snake" like them and honestly, this role doesn't suit me at all. But who asked me? Who asked them if they wanted to do all these things?

I know that my life is about nothing, so...

I don't care!

***

Location: school

Makoto : How will I know who is Adam among them?

Ruki: Simply because one of them is Eve's choice

Makoto: Still... If I'm wrong and seduce the wrong guy? 

Ruki: That's impossible, otherwise — just stupid of you. Its being said, watching them in your interests.

Makoto: Puah, it's easier to check all of them!

Ruki: W-what do you mean?

Makoto: I'm gonna ask them straightforwardly : who's dating Komori Yui? That's all, bingo!

*Ruki's slowly covering his face with hands*

Ruki: ...

Makoto: Hey, why are you so disappointed?

Ruki: Sometimes I think of doing a skull  tripanation to you, just to check if there's a feature of some brain...

Makoto: *waves her hands*

Makoto: No-no! I still need my brain for some important things!

Ruki: No doubts, really.

Ruki: However, I assume if you fail, you'll be just replaced and don't even notice this. That's all, now go.

Makoto: It's too sad to say bye, Ruki...

Ruki: Don't embarrass me with your bluntness! And it's better for us not to walk together like we don't even know each other.

Makoto: Oh, I'd like to ignore Kou-kun for eternity. Then... I go.

*She walks away from him  in some direction *

Makoto: (What now? I don't fucking care if I'll be replaced, I'm not here for it. I only need my piece of reality, in the end of this mission, wether it's going to be successful ot fail for them, I'll know facts about my loved ones' weird deaths... I'll know, I see!)

*The bell rings*

Location: History class

Makoto: (another boring ass subject. At least I'm lucky to be with Sakamakis in the same class. Here they are... Ayato, Kanato and... Jeez, where's this guy Laito? I need to chek them first, because it's less suspicious than if I spy on Reiji or Subaru.  We're the same class with triplets at least...)

*PE lesson*

Makoto: (Oh, I see the triplets... Tho, no, only two of them... Where is... what was his name.. Laito, I guess? Where's that guy?.. It's quite rare not to see him at the PE class, I'm sure he's always there for girls. Hmpf. How weird. Moreover, I don't see Komori...)

???: Oh, he-he, watch ya step!

Makoto: Huh?..

*Thud*

Makoto: Hell boy!

*she falls down*

Ayato: Yo, Chichiari*, resting here on the floor?

*she looks up.*

Makoto: You? What's your Hell problem??? Why did you trip me???

Ayato: Ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, you're so funny! Didn't you understand? It was a prank, so don't be so angry, Chichiari.

Makoto: Chichiari? Are you still in your puberty ?

*Laito appears from behind*

Laito: Hmpf~ I also sometimes think that Ayato-kun is still a little boy. You're definitely right, Bitch-Chan.

Makoto: (Why did he wink to me?.. What's going on... It'd be bad if the third one appeared)

*Kanato appears from nowhere*

Kanato: Ayato, seriously? It seems like you really have something with this girl, but you don't want to make us know it. Why do you approach her another time?

Makoto: Another time? Listen, you three. What is going on with you?

Ayato: No, it's my question! What's wrong with you?

Laito: Oh... And now we have a problem~

Kanato: These two are in the center of attention, I'm sure there disrupting the class.

Ayato: Since you've lost me, you're waiting for a revenge, don't ya?

Makoto: A revenge? I mean, I was offended by the fact you had secrets and was dishonest in a competition. But I just couldn't forgive you! I had a hard time!

Ayato: Firstly, mind your own fucking business and don't try to spy on me after you say things like that!

Makoto: I'm not spying on you, shut up!

Ayato: No, you're everywhere where I go, I didn't know what do you want from me!

Makoto: Am I that disturbing? Excuse me, but it's just a coincidence, and you're being paranoid!

Ayato: Liar!

Makoto:No! Hear that from a liar himself!

Laito:Oh gosh… You guys are noisy today. Maybe, you should make another competition to realize who is right and who's not?

Makoto: It's childish!

Ayato: No, it's okay!

Makoto: *whispers* Are you stupid? You know I can't keep up with you because you're a vampire?

Laito: *also whispers* I can supervise him to make sure he's not cheating, little Bitch~

Maktoo: (Bitch?.. )

Ayato: Are you serious, Laito? Fuck, it wasn't even your problem

Laito: I don't care~ And this adorable girlie want me to help her, right?

Makoto: Actually, I want...

(I can't understand if he's being nice or extremely creepy)

Laito: Yeah! We've decided! You guys are having a pari! And I'm the judge, obviously

Ayato: I wouldn't trust him.

Makoto: He's your brother, why wouldn't you? It's me in a challenging situation after all!

Ayato: Huh, it doesn't matter if he's my brother

Laito: How cold, Ayato-kun... Do I really mean nothing to you?

Ayato: Oi, shut up! Shut up, Laito, I can't stand your annoying tone right now!

Makoto: (Don't blame, Ruki... But I'll hold up there...)

***

Laito: I thought well need to have eyewitnesses as well! So here is Kanato-kun and Yui-chan! Say hi to them!

Ayato: You brought them here... How?..

Kanato: Don't even ask about this, Ayato...

Yui:Eh, and I wanted to come by my own will...

Makoto: Huh, you guys are here... I doubt you like this show...

Laito: Oh, don't be so pessimistic, little Bitch, everything will be great!

Makoto: Uh... Maybe you wanted to cheer me up, but calling me a bitch is rather humiliating....

Laito: Hmpf~ Do I care? Also, some of us can approve you're rather bitchy than everything else... You have this vibe, maybe you can't even recognize, but your scent is screaming of desire...

Kanato: I wanna end myself because I heard this Laito shut again

Makoto: ... (Is he... flirting?..)

Yui: (being a witness of Laito's harassments is another level of humiliation)

Ayato: Fuck off! I'm ready to start already, stop your weird talk!!!

***

Makoto: (we ran a cross again. The first time we did it 2 weeks ago, Ayato used his vampire powers, about which I didn't know. I was fairly astonished by him. I actually was a good athlete in my former school, but he was a thousand times better than me.

My admiration disappeared when he showed his real nature...)

*Flashback starts*

Makoto: Hey, Ayato! How can you be so fast... I can't keep up with you even for a second when we're alone... How do you do this?

Ayato: Hah... I'm not in mood, so ya'd better fuck off

Makoto: ???

Makoto: Uh, oh... Why are you like that?..

Ayato: None of your business

Makoto: Why?

Ayato: Why? Because I won't tell a random girl things which bother me

Makoto: Yeah, but we're mates after all.. We even could be friends, if you wish.. You know, I'm not against it

*she smiled encouragingly*

Makoto: If something is bothering you –

*she extends her hand forward*

Makoto: I'll help! Like friends do

Ayato: Che. "Like friends do"

Makoto: What? Do I sound ridiculous?

Ayato: Kinda. I don't need yer help or something. Ore-sama will solve it himself

Makoto: Then why did you even say this out loud if you're so cool!

*he suddenly grabs her wrist and closes to her*

*he hardly pants*

Makoto: (What's with him... Why is he holding me like that? Maybe... something bad happened to him and he needs someone's support? Why is he so rude???)

*she hugs him with the free hand*

Ayato: ...

*he tilts his head down*

Makoto: (is he calmed ?..)

*he suddenly bites her arm*

Makoto: What the—

Makoto: (What's it? Its burning! No way... what's this agony in my arm... what is he doing...)

*Flashback ends*

Makoto: (Now we ran it again... six circles of the field and I feel just worn out... Ayato is also... not full of beans I'd say. But I don't know if he cheated or not, because the judges are his brothers! Komori also, but maybe for a human eye it's  difficult to identify those moves... Ha... My knees are shaking and lungs are ripping... )

Ayato: *also pants hardly*

Laito:Oi-oi! Looks like you too did a great job... a meaning of which is so irrelevant for me, but now it was fair

Makoto: Hah... What others..

Will say?

Yui: Eeh? I guess Laito-kun is right, I honestly didn't notice any reasons to suspect Ayato-kun was cheating...

Ayato: Hah... Of course I wasn't!

Makoto: Calm down! You're out of breath, dude!

Laito: Eh? So you guys don't even wanna know who won?

Makoto: (Jeez.. I've even forgotten about the meaning of this...)

Makoto: Say...

Laito: Unfortunately for me, because I had a favorite in this competition, the winner is... Ayato-kun!

Ayato: Puah! Easy as... knha knahaah

Yui: Ayato-kun, aren't you choking ?

Ayato: Kha-kha... Khm. I'm fine, Chichinashi.

Ayato: So, Ma-ko-to Have you heard this pervert? I won even the second time! Doesn't it make me great?

Makoto: You're literally a pain in the neck

Makoto: Fu-fu-fu!

Laito: ?

Yui: (Makoto-san is laughing?)

Ayato: Oi, watcha chuckle 'bout?

Makoto: You just look so silly, cheering your victory, you're happiness is contagious!

-----

Monologue:

I think I've forgiven Ayato.

At least, it wasn't that hard as I had expected...

Although maybe now I think like that because previously I had encountered with a cheerful eye...

[samglyph]

MORE SONGS HAVE BEEN ADDED. Continued track list along with some of my thoughts below.

Heel Turn 2 by the Mountain Goats

This is such an Arthur song. Man. And there’s even a piano solo at the end. Jesus Christ.

You found my breaking point

Congratulations

Spent too much of my life now trying to play fair

Throw my better self overboard

Shoot at him when he comes up for air

I don't want to die in here

Whose Eye Is It Anyway by Jhariah

Read the title. Cmon. Thinking about John and Arthur as well as Yellow and Arthur.

If it's an eye for an eye, then we all go blind

If it came to it, would you cross that line?

With the taste of the blood on your tongue like wine

And the weight of your crimes weighing on your mind

It's an eye for an eye and we all go blind again

An arm and a leg, my friend, les yeux d'la tete

I never give as much as I get

This path of heart attacks is paved with folks

Who only gave their enemies what they had coming

…Well, Better Than The Alternative by Will Wood

Well what do you know, another Will Wood song I have an entire malevolent animatic for in my head. I’ll try to keep this brief, thought it’s difficult when I have a frame in my head for nearly every line of this song.

Peter Pan collars but my daughter's growing up

She's gonna be a lot like me

But I don't wanna be at all like me

Yellow buzzcuts, pulling out stingers

You're telling me I'm holding up eleven fingers and

Stranger things than death can happen

And

If they could see the future back when times were simple

Would they kiss your cheek or yank the bandage off

Let you speak or take advantage of how

If everyone's sick, well then nobody can catch it, and if

Everybody's different how could anybody match

And we're looking through the pockets of the hand-me-downs we've laid out

Wondering if we’ll fit into the yesterdays we played out

And also

Warmer tears than you've grown used to since then

A toast to the nosebleed seats

And the big dream sequence where you're found

Guilty of your innocence and gently sent right back to bed

Everybody knows that nobody knows that

Everybody's all up in my motherfucking business

This isn't my first anything. This isn't my first anything

Everybody knows that nobody knows that

Everybody's in on everybody's business

This isn't my first lyric, I know exactly how I should finish it

Baby, could you play along with me, Baby, would that be alright with you

And when we find out what's wrong with me

Could you tell me how I'm right for you

Baby, could you play along with me, Baby, would that be alright with you

After all of that's been done to me

Could you tell me how could you tell me how, Could you tell me

Ok moving on

Teeth by Five Seconds of Summer

Beats for when you have a weird codependent occasionally homoerotic relationship with the voice in your head.

Some days, you're the only thing I know

Only thing that's burning when the nights grow cold

Can't look away, can't look away

Beg you to stay, beg you to stay, yeah

Sometimes, you're a stranger in my bed

Don't know if you love me or you want me dead

Push me away, push me away

Then beg me to stay, beg me to stay, yeah

and of course

Something in the way you're looking through my eyes

Don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive

Cairo by San Fermin

I’ll be honest this one’s mainly just dreamlands vibes.

You try too hard?

Your mind too meager

Two whispers follow when you leave

You read it wrong

A bold-face fever

You've stolen everything you believe

Half-Decade Hangover by Will Wood

If you want me to stop putting Will wood songs on this playlist then you’re going to have to tell him to stop writing songs about Arthur Lester, though I’ll be honest this one feels a bit of a stretch? But no more of a stretch than the last one. My man is sad. My man has problems.

Like it’s a good thing you said you’ve got your whole life ahead

Oh great another half century to live to regret

2econd 2ight 2eer by Will Wood

Already did my malevolent analysis of this song here. You get it. Moving on.

Autoclave by The Mountain Goats

Read the opening and then go listen. It’s Arthur Lester (and John) all the way down.

Hand me your hand, let me look in your eyes

As my last chance to feel human begins to vaporize

My Eyes by the Lumineers

The fact that I haven’t seen this on any other playlists yet is wild considering the very first lyric. This is another obvious one.

Oh, the devil's inside

You opened the door

You gave him a ride

Too young to know, too old to admit

That you couldn't see how it ends

What did you do to my eyes

What did you sing to that lonely child

Promised it all but you lied

Tainted Love by Soft Cell

Ok I’ll admit this one is a goof but are you gonna tell me I’m WRONG. that I’m WRONG. NEXT.

Little Words by the Happy Fits

I listened to this on repeat while I was doing my piece for episode 26. For me, I’m imagining John attempting to comfort Arthur with this one, using a song that perhaps Arthur once sang to Faroe. Ough I’m sad.

Darling, darling, darling, let me dream of you

Let me dream of you

Where I die in, die in, die in your arms

Die in, die in, die in your arms

Darling, darling, darling, let me sing to you

Let me sing to you, let me sing to you

Down fell the rain

Though your little words often came

And out of this dreary house you built by heart

Don't you despair

Though my little words can't compare

I'll always be here with you behind closed eyes

Jimmy Mushroom’s Last Drink by Will Wood

Arthur Lester depression moments (tw for this song: vague suicidal ideation)

But, I'll tell you what, I'm not afraid to die

I'm more afraid of what might happen first

Either way it's not like we'll get out alive

I can't say that I know which one is worse

Misanthrapologist by Will Wood

So I’m gonna be honest this song came out on Friday and I can’t find lyrics yet and I don’t want to transcribe them myself, but it’s about wanting to fight god, self loathing, and potentially concerning relationships. So. I can imagine an illustrated lyric video for this one.

Happy listening!

Now is a good time to offer up my Malevolent playlist. Is it groundbreaking. No. But god the amount of animatic material.*

*I am a visual sequential artist first and foremost so the criteria for my adding a song is purely if there is at least a verse that I can imagine drawing/story boarding the characters to. This playlist is mainly a mix of Arthur, John, and a dash of yellow and Kayne. If you have suggestions feel free to shoot ‘em my way.

[rendevousz]

mum?

mother figure!nat x fem!teen!reader

avengers x reader

req by @teenwonder ; i absolutely love the entire teams adoration for reader skfksngnsf its so cute! could i please request one a little more nat based? maybe r treats and loves nat like a mom but nat hadn’t noticed that before, and the whole team is like listing examples of how and why 🥺🥺🥺

summary: the four times you needed nat and the one time she admits that she needed you too.

warnings: blood, a random attack out of nowhere because i'm not creative, inaccurate writing of medical situations because i have no idea how those things work, also let's just pretend bruce was around during iron man 2 when tony still had palladium in his arc reactor, also inaccurate descriptions of palladium effects bcs i just...don't know much about palladium pls forgive me thanks, and idk any hospitals in new york/manhattan or even the states LMAO so uh bear with this, and last but not least, my inability to write good endings

word count: 5426

notes: that's a long ass warning nevertheless pls do enjoy this fic <3

"i'm going now, bye!" you bid the team who were having breakfast together, walking out of the common area.

"bye, cupcake! don't get into trouble, don't do what i'd do and definitely don't do what i wouldn't do." tony advised and you rolled your eyes because tony says that to you every morning before you leave for school.

"wait, don't forget your lunch!" nat stands up from her seat and grabs your lunch that she had packed, from the kitchen island, bringing it over to you. "thanks, nat!" you grabbed it, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before leaving.

nat smiles at the action, turning around to walk back to her spot on the table, only to find the team staring back at her with knowing looks.

"what?"

"you know, you only need to sign a couple papers and the kid's all yours." tony states matter-of-factly. nat snaps her head towards the man, an incredulous look on her face. "what are you talking about?"

"we all see the longing looks on both your faces. she's dying for you to call her your daughter and you, her mother." clint explains and the others nodded in agreement.

"that's nonsense. she has wanda too," nat reasons, sitting back down. "i'm pretty sure she sees wanda as a sister considering how much she drags wanda with her whenever she's causing trouble around the tower." steve raises his brows at the redhead who was in denial.

"she sees you as her mother, nat. just accept it," wanda tells her, taking a sip from her glass. "really? name me one time she showed it." nat challenges them, not knowing that they've been watching your interactions with her for the longest time.

"you have no idea what you just got yourself into, romanoff," clint chuckles, cracking his neck and knuckles as if preparing for a fight.

"remember new mexico?" he smirks and nat only frowns, trying to remember.

i.

"no!" you screamed, dropping down to the ground. you didn't care that you scraped your knees doing that, the only thing that mattered was the overwhelming feeling of grief engulfing your whole being. tears streamed down your face as you looked at the debris on the ground, the remainder of what used to be standing in front of you; a building. blown up, now in ruins.

clint, bucky and steve watched you break down in front of them, their hearts breaking at the sight in front of them as well as the fact that their teammate had been caught up in the middle of the explosion.

"y/n/n? come on, tony's team called for back up. we gotta go," steve tried to get you to stand up, failing when you kept your ground. you screamed when he tried again and their hearts clenched at the heartbreaking sound.

"we can't just leave her! please, we have to find her," you cried, clinging onto steve's body as he ran his hand up and down your suit-cladded back to soothe you. "y/n/n, we can't. the whole place is in ruins now," he didn't want to say it but he had to. he had to in order to get you to leave. "she's gone."

"she can't be gone! she can't just leave us! we need her! i need her, stevie.." you cried into his chest and he had to control himself so he didn't cry right then and there too.

he looked up to see bucky looking at the two of you guiltily, tapping his wrist to indicate that they were running out of time. steve had no choice but to carry you in his arms, getting you to leave the site against your will. but you were too weak to fight back now. "what am i gonna do without her now, stevie?" you asked quietly.

"we're gonna be okay, y/n/n," he tells you, sitting you down on a chair and settling down next to you as clint flew the jet to your next location. the atmosphere was tense and you could tell everyone, too, was sad about this.

"what if we're not? what if we're not gonna be okay, stevie? i know i won't be." you wiped the tears streaming down your face despite the fact that your face still wasn't drying up any time soon.

"because nat wouldn't want to see us like this. she'll be angry if she sees that we're risking people's lives just because of her." he says truthfully.

"we're landing, guys." clint announces and the team prepared for another round of fighting. steve turns to you, wiping the tears on your face as he made you look up at him. "now let's save some people and make nat proud, yeah?"

you nod at him sadly, preparing your weapons. all of you got out the jet and the second battle of the day begun. boy, were these people unlucky because they were on the receiving end of your fury.

you were busy taking down a group of guards alone when you heard a familiar voice. "y/n, behind you!" and you turned just in time to take down a guard who was aiming at you.

you didn't even have time to register your shock of seeing the redhead because more guards came at you two. you guys fought alongside each other until all the men were taken down.

"nat?" you breathed out. "yes, bub?" she answers as you both carefully walked over the knocked out men. she was taken aback when you slammed into her, hugging her the tightest you ever did since you met her.

"please don't ever do that again." you mumbled into her chest. she was about to ask you what you meant when she heard you sniffling. figuring out it wasn't the appropriate moment to ask, she continued to just hug and comfort you in silence.

"wait, that was why she cried that day? because she thought i was in that building when it blew up?" nat asks after steve finished the story. "i never found out why because she never told me."

"yeah, you should've seen her when the building exploded. completely shattered my heart, dude." clint states, remembering the broken down state you were in that day.

"wait, did you guys not grief over my supposed death then?" nat glares at clint, bucky and steve. "in our defense, they were about to blow up about a hundred people, we didn't have much time to process the whole situation." clint tries to convince his best friend, only to receive a glare again from her.

"alright but just because she cried when she thought i was dead, doesn't mean she sees me as her mum. i'd cry too if any one of you guys died," she states, still in denial.

she did love you like how a mother would love her child. but she didn't want you to feel that she was forcing the title onto you. after all, you had so many other adults around you, who's to say that you saw someone else as a parent figure instead of her? she didn't want to make you uncomfortable.

"woman, are you serious?" sam exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air dramatically. "need i remind you that the girl sacrificed her life for you?"

ii.

"nat, watch out!" you stood right behind her where the man was about to attack her. you gave him a harsh kick to the head and that was all it took for the man to go unconscious.

the redhead turned around, not having enough time to comprehend what had happened before you dropped into her arms. you two were lucky the last of the men had already been taken out.

"bub? what's wrong?"

at this point, you were fully leaning against her. she was holding up your whole weight, hands wrapped around your middle to support you. that was when she felt it. the familiar thick substance on her fingers, leaking from the back of your suit.

her eyes widened, pulling one hand away from you to look at it. red. her breathing picked up as one of her hands felt around your back, finally feeling the handle of a knife sticking out from your back.

your eyes were already drooping by now and she lightly shook you awake, careful to not hurt you. she lowered you down and you were both sat on the floor now.

she presses a finger to her ear and you could hear her voice echo in your ear from your own comms. "can someone come please," she paused, exhaling shakily. "y/n's down."

if it had been any other person, she probably would be bringing them to the jet by now but it was you. she didn't know what came over her but when she saw that you were injured, it was like her whole body shut down. her knees felt weak and she couldn't bring herself to move.

"hey, hey, keep your eyes open. can you do that?" she asked gently and you nodded weakly. "bub, why did you do that?" she cried softly, moving your hair away from your face as you leaned sideways against her. the action caused your face to be smudged by your own blood from her hands but she didn't care as she caressed your cheek.

"he–he was gonna hurt you. i–i couldn't..." you paused a while, the pain getting too much for you to bear. "y/n, don't strain yourself. you need to stay awake," she tells you as tears streamed down her face.

"rather me than you," you whispered. nat's eyes widened at this. "don't say that, bub." she scolds gently.

you smiled weakly at her. "i've grown too dependent on you, nat. it's to the point that i," you coughed and nat worried that you were straining yourself but you continued. "that i'd rather die than live without you. you probably can go on with life without me but i can't without you. i need you, nat." your eyes closed and nat panics, shaking your body.

"y/n?! bub?! stay awake, please, they're coming!" nat cries out loud, holding onto your limp body.

"did we not agree to not mention that to me anymore?" nat glares at sam for bringing that up.

the night of that incident had been one of the worst nights for nat. she sat by your bed all night after you had been treated. she had been the first one you saw after you woke up. she had been the one you broke down in front of after you admitted the full reasoning behind your actions. she had been the one who opened her arms for you to make yourself at home in.

"i'm sorry but you must be blind if you can't see how really she sees you for the past years," bucky states. nat turns to him with a glare. "you don't know what you're talking about."

"oh really? who does she call whenever she has a really bad nightmare?" bucky questions rhetorically with his eyebrows raised.

iii.

"no, please, don't!" you begged, asleep and thrashing around in your bed. quiet whimpers turned into heavy breathing as you plead for your life in your nightmare. "please," you whispered, inhaling and exhaling harshly.

FRIDAY, noticing the amount of distress you were in, alerted the closest person to your room, that being bucky who was returning from a late night trip to the kitchen for some water.

he quickly went into your room, only to see you shivering and thrashing around in your bed. "doll?" he approaches slowly, finding you still asleep, though sweating a lot. nightmare, he realised.

"doll? wake up," he gently shakes you and you immediately jolt awake, breathing heavily as you register what was going on. "it's okay, it was just a nightmare," he soothes you, holding you close as one hand rubbed up and down your back while the other held your head to his chest.

none of that helped as you were still in the same state as you were when you woke up. "are you okay?" he asks, worried. "nat... i need nat.. please i need her," you whimpered, shaking in his hold. you were having trouble breathing.

"FRIDAY, get romanoff."

within minutes, nat arrived, looking panicked and disheveled like she had just woken up, which she just did. "what's wrong?" she asks bucky, approaching you two.

"she was having a nightmare and woke up and i think she's having a panic attack. she asked for you," he informs her and immediately moves away when she approaches, so that she could take his place.

"bub? it's me," you look up to meet natasha's pretty green eyes. "you're okay, bub. can you tell me five thing you can see?"

you looked away from her eyes, looking around your room. "i–i see my book on my nightstand, my lamp, my jacket on the chair, my laptop and the painting on the wall." you told her after some difficulties.

"good, that's good. four things you can feel?"

"i feel the socks on my feet, my fluffy blanket, the pillow i'm leaning on and your hands around me."

she smiles softly at you. "three things you can hear?"

"i hear your voice. a–and the faint noise from the ac and i can also hear bucky's breathing." you look up at the man and he smiles sheepishly at you, standing around awkwardly. you gave him a small smile back.

"two things you can smell?"

"i can smell my own shampoo..and my room's air freshener." you told her more calmly now, feeling the panic attack already going away.

"one thing you want to taste?"

"i wanna taste wanda's blueberry pancakes." you pout and the two adults couldn't help but chuckle. "you can have them in the morning. right now you need to sleep so you can have the energy to devour them tomorrow, okay?" you nod at the woman as she tucks you in.

not long after, you fell asleep. she then presses a kiss to your forehead before leaving with a less worried bucky now. and sure enough, the next morning, wanda made you blueberry pancakes.

"okay, so what? we all need someone to help us through panic attacks?" nat rolls her eyes. "did you miss the part where i came in and tried to help but she specifically asked for you? she needed you, nat."

"guys, i... i love her with my whole heart but she has all of us. i don't wanna make her feel like she's restricted to only one of us. you all love her too," nat reasons.

"yes but she doesn't have anyone to call her mum and frankly, i think you'd be perfect for it." wanda encourages the older woman.

"i—" before she could continue, her phone rang loudly and she thanked whoever it was that called her because now she didn't have to make up excuses about her doubt of becoming your official mother.

iv.

she looks down at the caller id, sighing when it was you, meaning the team had more against her now. of course she didn't mind you calling her, you could call her when she'd be asleep after a mission and she'd still pick up with a smile on her face. but it was the fact that the whole team could see how she softened when she realised it was you who called that bothered her. she really didn't want them to let her have hopes that you'd accept her as your mother.

"bub?" she said into the phone and half the team smirked at her while the other half gave her knowing smiles. "aren't you supposed to be on your way to school?"

"yeah but uh are you busy right now? i um, i need you."

nat immediately stands up, worry etched onto her face and the team frowned at this. "what happened? are you okay?"

"you know how i told happy i wanted to walk to school today? yeah, i just remembered why i don't walk to school anymore."

"what do you mean? what happened? are you hurt? did someone hurt you?" she bombards you with questions out of worry. at this point, the team had also stopped their chatter and teasing looks, equally worried for your well-being.

"yeah, i am. wait, maybe not. i mean, i was just being dramatic but uh, i tripped on who-knows-what and now i have a sprained ankle. i can't walk now so i'm standing in an alley right now so i'm not in the way of people. can you come get me?"

nat sighs in relief, thankful that it wasn't anything that she was thinking of. "you are unbelievable, y/n." she chuckles in disbelief at your clumsiness. "can you tell me where you are? i'll come get you now. i'll have the school know you're not coming today." you told her your location and she immediately leaves after telling the team what happened to you.

you were expecting nat to call again, to tell you she was around the corner but instead you heard a whoosh of air beside your head, followed by a crack sound. your head followed the sound, eyes widening when you saw that a dart had struck the wall beside your head. you looked ahead, trying to see where that came from.

if it hadn't been for your fast reflexes being an avenger for the past few years, you probably wouldn't have ducked in time when another dart came flying right for your head. "what the hell?" you grunted, staying low but still looking around for the source. you squinted when you looked up, the sun blazing but you managed to catch a glimpse of a man on a rooftop nearby. he had blonde hair and was dressed in all black, donning a same coloured mask that covered the bottom half of his face.

"you had one job! how could you miss her twice?!" the blonde hears his colleague hiss in his ear through the earpiece. "i'm sorry! i'm no hawkeye, how was i supposed to get her in one try?!" he scolds back.

"you didn't even get her in two!"

"shut up and just let me work! you're distracting me!"

"hurry because i see the redheaded one nearing the alley. boss'll kill us if he finds out we didn't get her in her vulnerable state."

"i'm trying, i'm trying!" the blonde closes one eye, his sight now locked on your crouched state. he saw you move once you saw him and he cursed under his breath, his weapon following your movements. "she's moving!"

"just take the shot and be done with it! you have to go now!"

and shoot he did. after he shot the dart gun, he immediately fled but it wasn't like you were going to be able to chase him down or anything. a scream left your lips as a dart pierced through your skin, right under your shoulder.

you dropped down to the ground, right in the middle of the alleyway. you cried when you felt the burn in your flesh. you had been stabbed multiple times before with much bigger objects so why did this feel different?

"y/n?! is that you?!" you heard nat's voice yell from a small distance away. "i'm here," you croaked out, feeling your body grow weaker at an alarming rate.

"oh my god, bub, why are you on the ground? it's dirty, c'mon let's get you up. which foot did you sprain?" she places both her hands under your arms, pulling you up on your feet before accidentally dropping you back when you let out a shriek, crying out in pain.

"oh my god, did i hit your ankle? are you okay?" nat assumed that your tear-stained face was because of your sprained ankle but then you wheezed, your eyes drooping the longer she stood there.

your right hand slowly reached across your left shoulder, the butt of the dart sticking out of your skin now in between your shaking fingers. nat's eyes followed your hand movement's, a gasp leaving her lips.

"y/n, what happened?!" she panicked but before she could even get an answer from you, you had already blacked out. her eyes widened, knowing it was the dart because why else would you pass out that quick from a simple penetration in the shoulder. you had dealt with much worse than that and she knew your tolerance level.

she took off your bag, careful to not move the dart. she then placed her hands under your knees and behind your back, easily picking your unconscious body up and rushing back to the tower.

when she arrived, she was met with many confused yet concerned looks from the tower staff, seeing the black widow, rushing in with the youngest avenger unconscious in her arms. they had seen you leave the tower for school about half an hour ago so they knew something must've happened on the way.

"get bruce in the hospital wing. tell him it's urgent." she tells the woman working the front desk, hurrying into the elevator and telling FRIDAY to get her to the floor she so desperately wanted to arrive at quicker. black lines appeared on the left side of your neck, slowly spreading to the right side and she assumed it was from that damned dart in your left shoulder.

"natasha! what's wrong? they said it was an emergency," the doctor spoke in a panicked voice when nat entered, immediately going quiet when he saw you in her arms, neck lined with seemingly black veins.

nat laid you down on the surgery table, frown growing when black lines steadily spread to your arms now. though she was too worried to think, she managed to at least tell bruce what was outwardly wrong with you.

"dart. left shoulder." she blurted, incapable of forming proper sentences now that she had seen more of you. the black lining your skin got her speechless and anxious. bruce got ready with medical gloves, removing the dart from your flesh before analysing the pattern of your skin. it looked familiar.

"FRIDAY, get tony down here. it's urgent."

"bruce, please, what's wrong with her?" she cried, tears now freely streaming down her face. she didn't cry much in front of anyone but when it came to you, you always managed to get her to do just that.

"hey, what's going on? FRIDAY said there was an emergency here, who's hurt?" nat heard tony's panicked voice but she didn't make an effort to reply. her gaze was fixed on only you.

tony's jaw dropped, frowning when he saw you on the bed, upper body covered in black lines. "what the hell happened?!"

tony stepped beside bruce, taking a closer look at your skin. his frown deepened. "wait, it looks like.."

"yeah, looks exactly like when you had palladium instead of vibranium in your arc reactor."

"does that mean—"

"palladium's been running through her veins for about twenty minutes now. FRIDAY, how high is her blood toxicity level?" bruce asks, sampling a drop of your blood from when he took out the dart.

"53% and it is still steadily increasing."

"tony, at the rate it's going, if she's not treated in the next fifteen minutes or so, she'll.." bruce pauses, not wanting to say it out loud.

"no, she just needs lithium dioxide. that's how fury and i cured your palladium poisoning, tony." nat finally speaks.

"SHIELD probably has them but they're all the way in dc. they're not gonna reach here in time," tony states solemnly, reaching over to move your hair out of your face, looking down at you sadly.

but he was immediately pulled aside, nat grabbing his collar and looking him straight in the eyes. "you have your stupid iron suits that can probably travel faster than the speed of sound if you try. you can go down there yourself and get the damn thing. i swear to god, tony, i'm literally going to destroy those stupid suits myself if you don't put them to good use." nat threatens, glaring at the billionaire.

tony's eyes widened, the genius having not thought about nat's idea yet. "yeah, yeah, you're right, i'll go now."

he left immediately and nat approached your bed hesitantly, not wanting to see the black lines making home on the skin on your upper body. "do you think tony'll make it back in time?" she sniffles and bruce's worried frown on his face softened. "of course he will. he won't let anything happen to y/n. we won't let anything happen to y/n." he assured her.

there was nothing they could do now but wait for tony to come back with the lithium dioxide. nat sat beside your bed, hands gingerly grasping one of your own. despite the black staining it, nat held it to her face and her tears rolled past the back of your hand.

bruce decided to give her some privacy, opting to inform the whole team of the situation instead of standing around idly.

nat pulled your hand away from her face, rubbing her thumb over the back of it, crying even more at the sight in front of her. "y/n, please. i've never told you this but i need you." she pauses, breathing in shakily. "i've always needed you and i'll always need you. you can't leave me, please. you said i could go on with life without you but you're so wrong, y/n. you're the reason i'm still here and you're the reason i still want to be here. if you're not here then it's as if i have no reason, no purpose. i need you, y/n. so much more than i'd like to admit. heck, probably much more than you need me. so please, don't leave me. i can't do this without you." nat sobs out, watching the patterns on your skin spreading and growing bolder.

at this point, the whole team had now gathered outside of the room, watching nat cry over you. they wanted so bad to get a closer look at their beloved baby avenger but they respected nat and instead, waited for her to finish talking to you. once she stood up and looked around, bruce knew she was done so he entered, followed by the team.

"status, FRIDAY?" bruce asks, sampling a bit of your blood again. "blood toxicity at 96% now."

the team looked your unconscious body in apprehension, some crying and some worried out of their minds.

"goddamnit! where the hell is stark?!" nat growled. her eyes were now puffy after having spent the last half an hour crying. the team had never seen her lose her cool like this but they figured why.

as if on cue, tony's iron man suit crashed through the windows of the room but he couldn't care less. his main priority was to get to you quickly. in his hand was a silver briefcase that he passed to bruce.

bruce opened the case before wasting no time in plunging the syringe containing lithium dioxide, your supposed cure, into you. immediately, the black patterns on your skin started disappearing. it was slow but noticeable. it started from the tips of your fingers, going up towards your neck.

everyone sighed in relief, and to tony's surprise, nat hugged him tightly. "thank you. you have no idea how much this means to me." she whispers. tony pats her back gently. "hey, i care about her too, okay? of course i'd do this for her. any one of us would."

nat smiles at him when she let him go, turning back to you and almost crying out in joy when your skin had finally turned back to normal. she let the medical assistants set your bed up and handle your sprained ankle before going back to sit by you. the team left her alone with you once again.

it was only about an hour later did you wake up, squinting when bright lights shone down on you. you moved around but you felt hands around your left and you heard a familiar voice.

"and remember when you dragged wanda to pull that prank on me with you and after you did, i grounded you like i was your mum or something?" you hear her chuckle, still not noticing that you've woken up.

"i didn't mind, though. frankly, i don't think i would ever mind if you continued acting like my mother or something," you spoke and she immediately tore her gaze from your hands, looking at you, now wide awake.

"bub!" she hugs you so tightly you didn't think you could breathe. you still returned the hug though, laughing. "i was worried you might still have some palladium in your bloodstream."

"wait, palladium?" you asked her in shock. "yeah, the dart that got you in that alley, it contained palladium. it's highly toxic so we used lithium dioxide to counter it. speaking of the dart, i'm going to find out who did this to you and they're never going to see the light of day for putting us through all of this." nat says, disturbingly calm.

"yeah...you do that," you tell her, slightly scared. "but palladium? in my blood? how cool is that? i had literal metal in my blood! i could've become like tony but like...palladium woman or something." you said excitedly.

"you do know we already have metal in our blood, right bub?" nat questions in amusement. "oh." you say dumbly. "and palladium don't belong in our body and you literally almost died because of it." your mouth opened but no words came out.

"speaking of, can you please not do that again? i really thought i was gonna lose you." she whispers, stroking your hair. "oh yeah, of course. i'll just announce to the whole world to not target the youngest avenger," you joke, smile dropping when nat gave you a stern look.

"nat, being part of the avengers at my age undoubtedly means i'll be a target for the bad people out there, but i don't care because while i get to kick ass, i know all of you have my back when it's my ass that's kicked. and i think that's the best part of being an avenger; the sense of security i get having you amazing people as my teammates." you tell her honestly and she smiles softly.

"oh come here you," she pulls you in for another hug but this time it's better because you could still breathe. you make yourself comfortable, snuggling into her.

"did you mean it?" she asked and you look up at her in confusion. "mean what?"

"when you said you wouldn't mind me acting like your mother."

"of course i do, you're like the mother i never had. i wouldn't even mind you being my actual mother." you say without a second thought, eyes widening when you realised what you had said. you swore under your breath, knowing you've just made it awkward between you two.

"i– really?" despite the teams efforts to make her see the truth, it was much more meaningful when she heard you say it yourself. "y–yeah.." you admit sheepishly.

"then you wouldn't mind if i actually adopted you?" she asks carefully, gauging your reaction. your jaw dropped, eyes going wide once again. "are you serious?!"

"yeah." she smiles at you fondly. "no! of course i won't mind!" you hug her tightly, tears forming in your eyes. you had gone all your life without parents so this was a huge thing for you. not only were you going to finally have a mother, but the most amazing woman you knew was going to be your mother.

"mum?" you tested the title, smiling when she acknowledged it. you were now crying in joy.

"hey, don't cry." she soothes you, running a hand up and down your back. "no, no, i'm just so happy. this is the best day of my life." you tell her. "me too, bub."

you stayed in her arms until you fell back asleep, nat tucking you in before going back to sit down on the chair. she looked down at you fondly.

sure, she was scared of the big step she was about to take with you but she had you with her and she knew that was enough. "i love you, y/n." she whispers, planting a kiss on the side of your head.

taglist <3

@amourtentiaa @rqmanoff @abitofeverythinggg @andreasworlsboring101 @cay-writes-fan-fiction514 @teenwonder @sevenmorningstars @fleurlovesbucky

[redhairedwolfwitch]

Doctor Y/n - Ortho Fellowship - 12 - Grey's Anatomy x Fem!Reader

"If you're not gonna leave, at least be quiet so I can sleep." Jo grumbled as Meredith woke her up.

"Are you like this when Y/n has nightmares?" Meredith let out a breath, recovering from her bad dream.

"How long are you planning on doing this for?"

"Until you talk to me. Altman's doing the same thing with Y/n, after she broke down in Teddy's arms." Jo frowned, turning away from Meredith so she couldn't see the tears forming in Jo's eyes.

///

Teddy paused in brushing the piece of hair from your face, your eyes snapping open as a sad whine left your lips.

"Oh god, sorry, I did not mean to wake up and whimper at you." You apologised, sitting up from where you had fallen asleep on Teddy's couch.

"Did you build that before going to sleep?" Teddy asked, gesturing towards the now-built rocking chair.

"Maybe... are you happy with what colour the walls are? I painted Sofia's bedroom walls with Arizona before, I can repaint them?" You asked, taking the offering of coffee as Teddy presented you with the mug.

"No, it's fine, it's perfect, her nursery is becoming perfect. You've been a huge help, Y/n. I just wish I could help you in return." Teddy sighed, looking down as you wouldn't meet her eyes.

///

"What's happening?" You enquired, walking over to where Webber, Link and Amelia were looking into the conference room.

"Nothing good." Webber replied, folding his arms as you glanced in.

"That looks like a legal team... forget I said that." You chewed your lip, hurrying away as you saw the looks of panic on the others' faces.

///

"We're wasting time, I already know he's got a broken coccyx, he's got a textbook presentation-"

"Textbook implies certainty, which I prefer to get from the scans. Now, I see why you and Y/n don't get along, besides your assumption she was in peds."

"I didn't realise she was gay, I just assumed it was a rainbows and unicorns scrub cap." Nico grumbled, ignoring how Teddy raised an eyebrow at him.

///

Meredith: Jo told me

Y/n: Pandora's box is open?

Meredith: it's just as bad as you said it was, maybe worse

///

Meredith: you should get over here

Y/n: does she want me there?

Meredith: she needs you more than either of you realises

///

"Paul? Everything he did to me? Everything I escaped. That was my birthright, Meredith." Jo whispered, blinking back tears, "that was my inheritance."

"My birthright was to be created as part of the facade of a family, and when that facade grew too tiresome, I was to freeze to death on the streets of Seattle, aged 10. The reasons we came into this hot mess of a world weren't because of love, but that doesn't mean we don't deserve it, Joey." Your voice had Jo glancing up from her bed, spotting you walking through the door before you flopped on the bed, getting hit with a pillow by Meredith as you landed.

"You should have told me you were on your way." Meredith stated as you looked up from the mattress.

"Well that would take away from my dramatic entrance, wouldn't it?" You replied, smile fading as you saw Jo's face.

It was only when Meredith began to argue that Jo wasn't the trauma and the violence that had happened to her in her life that a small smile crossed your face.

"Is this you telling me you need a few more days under the covers until you can go back to work? Or is this you telling me that you want to stop?" Meredith asked, watching as Jo wiped a tear from her face.

"I don't want to stop. And I do."

"Okay, so we are going to go talk to Bailey. We're gonna talk to Alex. Y/n's literally lying on your legs, so you can talk to her, I know you don't want to talk to them, but we have to get you the right kind of help. We have to get you a proper leave of absence so that your career is waiting for you when you come back. Come on, Jo. We have you, please. All you have to do is get up and take a shower." Meredith stated, gesturing for you to get up as she got out of Jo's bed.

"Are you telling me that I stink?"

"Actually, I think that's my job, since Steph is busy exploring the world and sending postcards every once in a while. And, I never lie to you, Joey... so I brought you some cherry body wash to persuade you." You giggled, passing her the bottle of body wash as Jo burst into laughter.

///

"How many Yale hoodies do you own anyway?" Meredith teased as you, her and Jo went looking for Bailey.

"I am not at liberty to answer that... and Cody and Mac have been calling me about Rory, crap, I'll be right back!" You stated, kissing Jo on the forehead before hurrying to find an empty room to call Cody back.

///

Teddy paused as she walked out of the OR with Tom, spotting you running around on your phone, wearing a Yale hoodie instead of your usual navy blue scrubs.

"She's running around like a chicken on a mission- are you okay?" Tom enquired, as Teddy said she needed to do something.

///

"Teddy!"

"Oh, I, I, did I just open a time portal?"

"Oh, Leo has a cold, Owen is stuck in traffic-"

"Are you two back together again, because I do not want to go down that road-"

"No, no, no, I'm with Leo, I'm just here with Leo... Auntie Amelia, uh, come in, we're making a bottle. I'm also about to call Y/n, I need to check up on her and her pending heartbreak-"

"Pending heartbreak? Is Y/n okay?"

"Uh, doesn't matter, uh, just out of curiosity, what road are you going down?" Amelia enquired as she put Leo down in the high chair.

"I love Y/n, and it's scary, because she's young and-"

"You love Y/n, not Owen? She's going to kill me..." Amelia exclaimed, leaving Teddy to frown.

"What, why would Y/n want to kill you?"

"Because I told her to she's going to get her heartbroken because I was so sure that you were in love with Owen, and Y/n's in love with you-"

"Y/n's loves me back?" Teddy realised, "I have to tell her I love her, before my daughter is born and she slips away because she thinks I'll get with Owen-"

"You are aware that you are leaking?" Amelia pointed out, leaving Teddy to look down at her feet.

"Yeah, my water broke around 'Auntie Amelia' but I had to say all of that before I go into labour." Teddy admitted, leaving Amelia to ask if they should be heading to the hospital.

///

"Thanks Bailey, we'll be in soon. Okay, babysitter's on the way, Bailey is expecting us." Amelia carefully put Leo down.

"I want my mom."

"Oh, uh, okay? Can I, should I call her?" Amelia asked as Teddy began to cry.

"She died a long time ago."

"Uh, okay, what would she say, if she were here?" Amelia asked, passing Teddy a chunk of tissues.

"She was a planner. She made lists, so she'd be so angry with me. The only reason I have the nursery set up is because Y/n and Owen actually put up with each other and built the stuff with Tom. We never did make it to the birthing classes, and we haven't even talked about baby names... can you call Y/n? My mother would be so mad that I want her, she's not the baby's father, but I want her, my mom would see that I want her so badly it hurts- whoah, oh god!"

"Okay, first contraction and here, it's dialling Y/n's mobile." Amelia stated, prepping the phone up on the couch as she began to time Teddy's contractions.

///

"Amelia? Are you calling to lecture me about being in love with Teddy again-" You were cut off as you heard Teddy's cries.

"Oh my god, ow, ow, ow! This is not normal!"

"Teddy? Are you- that sounds like a contraction!" You exclaimed, grimacing as Amelia was told to shut up.

"Because it is a contraction! I'm sorrry, I'm sorry I snapped." Teddy began to apologise as Amelia stated that it was okay and that is what women in active labour do.

"Are we thinking that maybe we should have called an ambulance?!" Teddy yelled as Amelia realised half the city was covered in fog and the freeway was closed due to a multi-car pileup.

"What are you doing? Where are you going?" Teddy asked as Amelia took her seatbelt off and got out the car.

"Stay here!"

"Where would I possibly go?" Teddy yelled as Amelia ran off somewhere.

"Y/n, please, please, please, tell me you're at the hospital and you're going to be there when I arrive and deliver this baby, please-" Teddy whimpered, hearing you panting as you began to sprint around the hospital.

"I'm heading to the ambulance bay, I am going to be there, Teddy." You affirmed, squeaking as you almost crashed into a crash cart.

///

"Nico, you have a new job, Y/n's going to be busy helping Doctor Altman give birth, so it's all you." Link stated, heading over to where Nico was sulking.

///

"I really think that in another life, you and I could be friends." Teddy admitted to Amelia as they sat in the back of a police car, heading to the hospital.

"Well, then, why don't we just decide to be friends in this one?" Amelia asked, wincing as she realised you were still on the phone line.

"Because you told Y/n that I would get with Owen, when I don't want Owen. I want him to co-parent, but I don't want to date him, I don't want to marry him, I want to marry her!" Teddy exclaimed, pausing as Amelia covered the phone speaker.

"I think that you should tell Y/n that, when you're not in active labour, and she's not running around the hospital like a headless chicken." Amelia replied, removing her hand from the phone speaker.

"Are you still in love with Owen?"

"I mean... maybe a little. But I fall in love easily and quickly. I mean, I could very well be in love with someone else by the time your baby comes." Amelia replied, glancing at her phone as she heard crackling noises.

"Y/n?"

"I'm the opposite. I used to be so determined to not attach to anyone, because I thought they would leave. But then I caught feelings and it didn't work out because she was an intern. Then it didn't work out with my other ex because she was looking at fellowships not in Seattle. Then I caught feelings for a third time, and I'm told it's only going to end in heartbreak, but I keep falling, freefalling, y'know..." You rambled, pausing as you remembered you were on speaker and Teddy could hear.

"You know, the last time Owen and I broke up, I walked in on him and Carina, and I was more jealous of him because I had a little crush on her, which is, like, the reason I masturbated for her in that study, which led to my brain tumour being diagnosed-"

"Oh god, that study, I forgot about that. All the women got asked to do it..." You chuckled for a moment.

"Owen and Carina? Like, my OB Carina?" Teddy exclaimed, leaving Amelia to bit her tongue.

"Ohhhh no..."

You were silent as you were stuck listening to Teddy yelling in pain over the phone.

///

"Doctor Bailey! Y/n!"

"Shepherd, what the hell?" Bailey exclaimed as Teddy and Amelia arrived in the back of a police car.

"You dated my OB and you didn't think to mention it?" Teddy shouted as you helped her out of the car, walking her towards the ER entrance.

"I am so sorry!" Amelia shouted as she ran to you both with a wheelchair.

"Ohh, that's complex." Bailey added, as Owen tried to explain himself.

"Owen, she's in active labour!" You exclaimed as you, Amelia and Owen began to run Teddy in the wheelchair towards the ER.

"You called him Owen!" Amelia realised, making you grimace.

"Yeah, now my mouth tastes funny."

///

Tags: @nnightskiess @emskisworld @multifandomlesbianic @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived

[iamthemain-character]

as the world caves in

fred weasley x reader

Gender Neutral Pronouns

TW: talk of death, very sad vibes with fluff

inspiration from the song “As the World Caves In” cover by Sarah Cothran

harry potter masterlist

The papers say it's doomsday

The button has been pressed

We're gonna nuke each other up boys

'Til old Satan stands impressed.

This was it. The final night before everything changed, the last chance to defeat the darkness approaching once and for all.

The Hogwarts castle was a flurry of activity, people rushing to make last minute preparations, praying to come out victorious. Most of the students could be found huddling around in little groups, unsure of their futures anymore. The adults acted all business-like, making orders and addressing defenses; if you looked in their eyes, however, you couldn’t miss the glimpse of fear. Hugs were being given, words of love and comfort passed around, confessions expressed in hushed tones. After all, there was nothing left to do when doomsday was coming.

And here it is, our final night alive

As the earth burns to the ground

Oh boy, it's you that I lie with

As the atom bomb locks in

Oh boy, it's you I watch TV with

As the world, as the world caves in

Y/n found themselves wandering into the castle’s ballroom; once upon a time, the castle had been filled with anticipation for the event to come in that room. The Yule Ball that accompanied the TriWizard Tournament was a magical night, full of fancy and fun. As Y/n took in the sight of the now cold and dusty room, they could just pretend to hear the sound of music. In fact, the harder they listened, the more real it became.

Opening their eyes, Y/n looked around to find where this music actually must be coming from. It didn’t take long, however, until they spotted their longtime lover, Fred Weasley, standing near a window.

“Fancy us meeting here love.”

“I suppose I just wanted to remember…”

Fred reached out and grabbed Y/n’s hands, intertwining their fingers. “Me too.” He stretched out one of their arms, and removing his other hand he placed it on their waist. “Would you like to dance m’dear?”

Y/n let out an incredulous laugh. “What, now?”

“Why not? This is a ballroom after all!” Fred smiled and pulled them close to him, leaning into their body. His next words were below a whisper, but Y/n couldn’t miss them. “After all, we may never get another chance.”

Tears threatened to fall from Y/n’s eyes, but they just held Fred closer and focused on the sound of him humming. As they closed their eyes, they could see it all before them. Their first day at Hogwarts, the first time they played a prank with the twins, the first time Fred kissed them. Y/n could also see what could’ve been, a life full of peace and safety. A double wedding with George and his fiancè, a life in a beautiful little cottage, children to love and adore, growing old together.

And it all could still happen, but the ominous gray sky outside had ripped any hope or plans for the future away from those who were underneath it. Y/n could feel that their boyfriend felt the same, unspoken words and promises silently being shared as their body’s swayed together in time to a music only they knew.

“Y/n.”

“Yes Fred?”

“No matter what happens, just know, you have been the greatest joy of my life.” Fred pressed a kiss to Y/n’s cheek before readjusting his arms so he could fully hold them. “I have loved you yesterday, today, and I will love you forever.”

And as the time ticked slowly away from the two doomed lovers, they remained blissfully unaware of what the next 24 hours would bring. For they were fighting a losing battle, but their loss would bring the ultimate win for the people they loved. As they danced away the sunset, they never knew that they would become a legend, the two lovers who never got to fulfill their lives together.

It has been said, however, if you go into the ballroom at Hogwarts, sometimes you will see two ghosts dancing underneath the light of the chandelier. No music accompanies them, except for the gentle hum of the one that looks like a young boy. After all, who is to say that love couldn’t continue through death.

[jovnie]

The king's arrogance | Namjoon

Summary

The King had knowledge on everything and one in his castle, however he knew nothing of the kingdom he ruled before him. That was till one day he left and found you a street merchant.

Words 5k

Namjoon king au! Reader civilian!

Warnings: fluff, cocky joon, medium amount of smut, mentions of parent death, creampie, oral ( female ), big-dick Joon, nonconsensual touches, creampie, rough sex, lot of plot. Very quick relationship.

I beg that you listen to The mary go round from the moving castle [ slowed ] when reading. I think you'll enjoy it even more with it in the background.

Namjoon sat on the throne, laid back and legs spread apart as a servant read him his to-do list for today.

"Well sir, today starts the month planning of the ball. We have a few colors I'm sure you'll enjoy, however, I'm sorry to inform you that the family members that shouldn't be named threatened third way onto the guest list" the man spoke in fear, nodding and sighing namjoon dismissed the servant with talks of the guest later.

"Mrs. Pot is the tea almost ready?" He asked kindly as the elder Korean lady nodded with a bright smile. Smiling softly, the older lady pinched his cheeks softly.

"I still remember when you were a baby and your late parents running you from tea session to tea session. Oh, how I'm sure you miss them as much as I " her smile faded, as she poured the tea on the table in front of him.

"I do, it's been 18 years now. Since I was 10 I believe, so right 18 years. I'm sure they would've loved to taste this freshly poured tea once again" he reassured, rubbing her back and once done taking a sip with her.

"I'll make sure to clean the alter table later and pour some tea with them" she smiled delicately, as took a drink of her tea.

That was right this year would make it the 18th anniversary of his parent's passing ever since the flood. It was heartbreaking, as his eyes dimmed in sadness the older lady pinched his cheek as he smiled with a tear down his cheek.

"Now don't go soft on me Namjoon, you have to stay strong for those who can't and I know it all hurts. But they'll be watching you like garden spirits. I know your mother is very proud and your father knowing how much a man and a king you have become. Now I have to go, it's time for me to go tend the gardens. Goodbye joonie" she waved, after collecting the empty teacups snd pots. Watching her wheel everything away, namjoon felt comforted by her words and took a deep breath before getting up and moving on with his day.

He spent the day testing and looking at fabrics, color swatches, and paper samples. The ball, gala, or celebration was very important for the kingdom. They only three one when it was important and this time it was a celebration of life once lived aka his parent's death date. September 4th. This day celebrated life and death, just like fall. He loved the metaphor behind it and hated how true love ended so quickly in his eyes. However he too wishes to be able to die with the one he loved dearly by his side, he hated how romantic it sounded and how bad he wanted it. Love wasn't an easy game and not once could he find someone who commented with him in a deep, if not spiritual way.

Itching the back of his head, he walked on and into his room. He had another busy schedule ahead of him. Sometimes he just wished he could live amongst the people for a day. That's what he'll do. Looking around for his leather satchel, he put together what he called a commoners bag. A bag that contained money, an id, and a diary. Looking around for clothes that seemed passable for a commoner and changed into them. From there he grabbed his stuff and snuck his way out of the Castle through the bag. He made sure Mrs. Pot knew where he was just in case this would get him in trouble. After all, the family would show up unexpectedly most of the time and he had people watch his every move as well.

Making sure his hat covered all of his hair, he walked into the street lights and found a carriage ride who was going home or into the city. He paid the guy and let him into the buggy and the city.

Namjoon did this for a weak till he knew the ropes of running out of the kingdom St night, he tried his best to avoid getting caught with the knight guards and the pesticide workers who showed nd yelled deals in his face. He also learned patience along with that, another valuable lesson needed as a king or so he was taught.

One night he went into a low-lit bar with entertainers. Majory we're female and drove the men in the room wild. He's had his fee share of women, but not when it came to this level. He found it charming and often sent gifts to them for their hard work. From the kingdom's guards and not him personally. Still, he ordered rice wine snd some jerky, before leaving. leaving a lady much shorter than him, bumped into his shoulder.

"Guards there's the thrift!" A younger woman pointed, as the men ran after her. Wanting to know what was up, he walked up to the merchant and simply asked. You explained that the woman was a theft, they would steal all her family food at night to make their profit.

"I'm sure you can be more um what are these?" He asked, picking up the food he's never seen before.

"Fruit?" You questioned grabbing the lemon out of his hand. "Well shops closed sir, come back tomorrow and you can buy our lovely fruit," you said kindly, walking up the stairs in this wooden place. Following you, namjoon closed the door behind and also walked up. Namjoon didn't know much manners, but he had the basics for a king. However, to a common person like you, he was a pest, rude, etc.

"Um, what are you doing?" you asked folding sheets for your bed up.

"It's nighttime aren't you gonna ask me to stay and wait till morning?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I supposed. By the way, there's a futon bed over there. I'll make dinner soon then!" you welcomed, as namjoon looked ok confusion at what the blanket on the floor was trying to imitate. Taking off his shoes, he placed his bag on the 'futon' and hung his jacket and hat on the hanger by the door.

Arriving back you blushed hard, as a beautiful looking man was now clear in your view. Luckily for namjoon, you had no money to spend on papers like everyone else or let alone money to go to the balls either. Therefore you had no clue that this man was a noble, let alone the king. If you did you would've just died at how you just treated him.

"It's beef and seaweed soup, with carrots and onions" you listed off as you placed the bowl on the floor diner table. Placing a spoon and a napkin on the side, you forgot the drink. Walking away you grabbed him a cup and poured lemonade in, before walking back. On your arrival, you saw him going to town on the meal. He slurped and moaned as he complimented your cooking. Chuckling, you sat the glass of lemonade down and took the napkin to wipe his chin and cheek. Placing it down, you watched him continue and enjoy it. Although there was only enough for his, you still had something to eat. You simply had bread and butter with some lemonade as well.

It took him a bit to notice you didn't have a bowl which made him feel a bit guilty but instead handed her 30 ₩ which was a lot during that time. Not wanting to take it, he "accidentally " dropped it down your bra and smiled.

"Well it's late, we should sleep and then go out to shop for food and new clothes" the man spoke.

"I'm sorry but I don't know you, how do I not know you're not trying to kidnap me or steal or worse kill me!" You mentioned as the older man stripped off his shirt.

"You don't have to, just know ill help you and accept the gift" he spoke, pitting his clothes beside him.

"Excuse you, you don't come in someone's house and act like this. Do you even have manners?" You added in frustration.

"I paid you, it wasn't a gift. It was a payment and I can tell you've never gotten one" he snickered, laying on the futon snd taking your cover. Annoyed at the man, you crossed your arm as he mouth "you have a problem?"

"Yes, I do! What's your name to begin with?" You asked, laughing it off he closed his eyes.

"Surprised you don't know and it'll stay like that for a bit darling" he whispered, moving over he patted next to him. "Sleep with me"

"No! I don't sleep with strangers like that, unlike you I have honor " you mentioned, getting up to go change into something appropriate for bed. Once done, you came back and he was still in the same position as before.

"I think I demanded that. besides I can ruin this little shop of yours if you don't. " he threatened, looking at his nails snd then at her. Well dressed and groomed man, you could visibly see the power he likely had. This was your mother's business and you promised her you would take care of it. Saddened you laid down next to him and whispered "please don't, this is all I have left."

"So we're on the same page I believe, no?" He asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Yes," he replied. She felt uncomfortable and annoyed at the fact she had to do this for a business. Let alone a man, then again the men weren't always so kind to the women here, most always. She sighed and just accepted it, as he covered the two up.

"Call me Joon, " be whispered in your ear. Nodding, his hands traveled up and down your wist. Coughing, he halted then stopped after finding a comfy place to lay his hand.

"Do you do this with every woman?" You asked, curious.

"Well the last time I had a woman in my arms, she tried to advance me in marriage" he mentioned, putting his neck in-between your shoulder and neck.

"I do however have experience If that's what your aim is?" He said softly.

"Not really, I mean if a stranger just threatened your job and made you do this. Along with inappropriate touching for people who just met, I'd believe you'd be the class below poverty. Not a king not noble" you told, unexpectedly holding his arm between your breast.

Noticing, namjoon's cheeks flushed red. Luckily the lantern. Was behind him and not in front, so she couldn't see. "Toché" he replied.

"However I can see you've had a bad experience with men hmm?" He asked, softly brushing his nose on her neck.

"So you're not around here I see, well yes every guy here is just shit. Rude snd ignorant as you" you huffed, as raised an eyebrow.

"I'll give you that, feminist huh. Cute, haven't met one till you" he smiled, intrigued. "It seems like I've violated it huh, touching you snd acting sloppy" he added, moving your hair out your face.

"Glad you noticed, now turn the candle out!" you demanded, closing your eyes. Doing just that, he then wrapped his leg around you snd kissed your cheek.

"Good night"

Morning came, as the two of you laid there comfortable in each other's embrace. With him being the first to wake up, he tapped your shoulder and you woke up soonly after him. Yawing and stretching, you made sure your hand hit him on purpose.

"Sorry," you said coy, as he rolled his eyes up and shrugged it off.

"So when's breakfast?" He asked, getting up as you realized he had just worn cotton briefs. One's that we're expensive and that added more mystery to him. Why was someone who could've been from a noble family be here and threatened for his stay? Then the thought of maybe it's all stolen.

"The time?" He asked waving his hands over your face as you realized you had zoned out.

"Sorry, we have to go get food and we can buy food at the square." You mentioned.

"Where's the bathroom?" He asked, you pointed to the medium-sized room across from him. The place was small and combined, so you could see the kitchen from the bed area and a mini living room. Nodding off he grabbed his clothes snd began using the pump to pump water into the bath.

"Don't use all the water!" You yelled.

"I can and make you join me" he yelled back, smirking.

"No ill make you get more water from the lake behind here" you replied, itching your hair.

"Don't you have to get more water anyways, less work" he mentioned, leaving the door open and sitting in the tub? This man was quite weird when it came to flirting, it somewhat seemed motherly and innocent. However on the other hand, overly sexual and mysterious.

"Fine" you huffed, striping and walking towards the tub. That's when that harsh look he had softened and turned into a stare. There you were in front of him, naked snd he took every moment to vies your body. He saw how thick your hair was and how curvy your body was. He liked that, he paid attention to how big your breast was and the fact it looked like you haven't trimmed in a week. Which meant you looked old enough for him to do special things with.

"How old are you?" he questioned.

"I love how you did all of this without asking' she rolled her eyes, trying to muster a pony 0tail with the length and thickness of her hair.

"Turning 20 next month!" she replied excitedly.

"28 next month as well" he replied, breathing out the air he had subconsciously kept in. Getting in, she sat in front of him, covering her chest with her knees.

"I can still see you!" he laughed, grabbing the soap from the tray. Washing his body first, he took his hands and spread her legs open and washed below and around her arms and chest.

"Open," he said, waiting. Opening your arms you rolled your eyes and he splashed you with water. "Manners young lady " he mentioned. Knowing he's right, you sighed. Your father once told you the same when he was alive and because of that "Joon" reminded you of your father a bit. He acted mature and young simultaneously.

Washing your arms and your thighs, you washed off the soap on his neck and took the plug out to drain the dirty water. Placing the soap down, he spread his legs open and you accidentally saw something you shouldn't have. Frightened and embraced, you blushed. Taking his hand and pushing your gaze to meet his. He smiled softly.

"It's fine, just don't get too threatened by it. I'm aware of the size," he mentioned, looking you in your eyes. Nodding, you this time pumped the water until it was all out. Cleaning the both of you, you couldn't help but feel shy snd flustered. He felt the same, only he knew how to hide it. But not everything he knew or wanted to hide.

He looked in your eyes, noticing a soft dismal look on you to which he replied with "tell me are you okay?" Thankful for the concern, you told him about your parents passing and the shop's importance to you was. He understood automatically and exchanged his parent's passing in less detail. He didn't think he'd meet with someone with such a familiar background as his, even if they were below Noble.

He took her hand and placed it on her chest. "They're here, I'm sure your mother would be proud of how you came out to be. So leave it at that" he smiles wildly, with his eyes closing shut a bit as he did. You were glad to hear that and he never thought that Mrs.pot's comfort would come in handy, but he's glad to say and share a similar message.

"Speaking of do you have an altar?" He asked gently, unplugging the water and helping you stand up. Nodding you pointed out the door to a small corner. He thanked you and grabbed both of you a towel. Getting dried and dressed you did your hair as he went over to pay the slightest respects. Smiling at how kind the gesture was, you walked over to the rack and tripped over your foot trying to hand him his stuff. You saw a journal fall out and your eyes met his.

"You're a journalist?" You questioned, fixing your dress and hair before getting up and handing his stuff.

"Yeah, not from here tho," he lied, dusting dirt from your shoulder. Nodding you both made your way down the stairs, as he took your hand. Noticing it, you smiled. You wondered why he was being nice to you all of the sudden, however, that all changed when a guard walked past by and he brought you to a kiss. Confused and his eyes waiting for them to go, you kissed back hesitantly. Letting go, you looked at him worried he shrugged it off and you walked him to the square.

Hand in Hand, you brought namjoon to the bakery. Looking around, he pointed out the most expensive bread on hand and paid. Thanking him, he leads your hand to the vendors outside. Lucky for you, he knew about gardening and what was good. He helped and taught you the basics snd you learned you've been scammed for years. Thanking him, you took him to a cart of flowers and smelled the fresh roses, looking up at him. He paid for the golden yellow rose bouquet. Now it was for his favorite part of the day, clothes shopping. But beforehand, he pulled you into a cafe.

"Two bags of your finest coffee," namjoon ordered, by now you shouldn't have been shocked at how much he could spend. But seeing him use more money than you've sent your entire life was a sight to see snd each time you were thankful. You had enough food and supplies to last week if not a month. Holding you close by him, you realized you warmed up to him and small gestures like that felt comforting to you. He noticed and did it more often.

Soon it was night and there was only, one dress store open. In there was a beige dress that sparkled in the shop's lights. Running to the window to look, you smiled. Feeling a hand on your back, he took a step in and pulled your hand in with him.

"Welcome to Gezels tailor and shop" the owner greeted. He was an older man with gray hair a fragile smile.

"Well take that dress in the window snd tailor it to her size. His much is it?" Namjoon asked, pulling his wallet for the last time today.

"₩ 10,000" the man spoke, paying upfront the older man invited you to the back room and told namjoon to stay upfront. Nodding, you walked ahead and namjoon sat in the chair. He had a diary to write about today's and yesterday's adventures. He started up about the bathtub time you shared snd imagined your body once again. If only he knew his to draw, he'd paint a pretty picture in the book. Soon after finishing his entry, you walked out with a note.

Note: the dress will be ready for you miss before dusk, come back tomorrow with your lover -Gezel tailor and shop

You handed it to namjoon and he read it, as the two walked out. Suddenly loud commotions of horses snd guards ran through the city with lights.

"The king's missing!" The horseman yelled into the square. Namjoon in a panic rushed you two into the forest nearby. Confused, but following him. You wondered if he had something to do with it, besides this wasn't the first time he ran away from the guards today.

"They can't find me or ill be in trouble, act like a lover, please. I'll pay you in gold when I can" he begged on his knees with his hat on his chest.

"Don't pay me, think of it as a token of my gratitude. I'll help, but you have to explain everything when we get back," you murmured, taking his hands and helping him out the dirt. Making you drop the food and his bag.

Suddenly, he gripped your body and jumped both of you in a lake as he heard the sounds of horses clamping. A sound you didn't even hear. Holding your head under the water, he waited for the light of the torch to leave the lake area before swimming the two of you up.

Taking deep breaths of air, the two of you swam to the doc snd he helped you up first before himself. Luckily, the food wasn't damaged. Frustrated, you grabbed the food and his bag as you walked home. Walking in, you kept the lights off snd went to the second floor.

Stripping you of your clothes snd placing the bags down, you watched him do the same. Forgetting you had to pump the water, he suggested he'd go do it and you nodded giving him directions snd within 30minutes he was done. Striping once again, he hugged your body to his chest. You soon felt tears on your neck and small crys, you rubbed his back snd just stood there till he let go.

"What's wrong?'" You asked concerned.

"I could've killed you!" he cried, remembering the look his mother gave him before dying in his arm. His father did the same thing to his mother, only on a ship in the middle of the sea. Hugging him, you rubbed his back and placed a kiss on his lips. Holding you to his chest, kissed you back, and laid back so your bare body laid on his.

"Let's wait to shower" he suggested, kissing your neck. Nodding your head no, he flipped you over on your stomach softly and trapped your legs with his. "Please?' He asked, leaning down on your level on the floor snd holding your chest in his hand. Agreeing, knowing what's about to happen you loosened up snd he turned you on your back.

His hands ran around your chest and thighs, leaning down to kiss your naked body as a slight moan came out. From there, he moved his lips to your mouth and softly moved yours to his hair. Taking note, you ran his fingers through his dark brown ones as the two of you danced with each other's tongue. Namjoon removed his lips snd traveled down south, gripping his hair in pleasure you moaned grinding your hips. Meanwhile, he took in a natural aroma, one he found arousing. Moving his tongue around the bud, he softly kissed your thighs leaving bruises.

Looking at your head tilting back snd eyes closed with heavy to light breathing. He took his pointer finger snd rubed softly in circles, moving his body to tower you with one arm. Noticing the shift of best around your neck, you felt his warm breath move down your neck and by your ear.

"Let me tell you something darling, I'm not who I say I am" he kissed around your neck, papering it in kisses. Hearing you moan, made him aroused by the minute. However he knew it was time to go back to the castle, only he wasn't going empty-handed. As your hands rubbed his back, he whispered "I'm Namjoon, they're looking for me, darling. Tonight the last night I can spend here so let's make it count" in a raspy tone.

In shock, he gave you a minute to calm down as he could hear your heart. "I'm sorry" he apologized.

"No need, but for whatever this may be for you. Just know I haven't done anything like this with anyone," you admitted. Humming he moved to the other ear and whispered "I like that, just know it will hurt after a few minutes snd then feel better or the pain could feel good!" he warned. Taking his warning, he gently rubed you as got on his knees and opened your legs wide. Watching as he did, you noticed he was fully erected at this point and ready. You closed your eyes snd tensed your muscles as he began to simply grind his tip into you.

He was right there was pain, which caused you to bleed a bit. However, it was enjoyable without a doubt. Soon he was able to put 6/9 inches in as he trusted slowly. Moaning under him, he moved his in circles biting his lower lip as looked at your fuller lips and leaned over and wrapped your legs around his waist. After a few moments of waiting for you to adjust, you thought about today snd how it was so obvious he was the king snd yet it flee by.

As you moaned loud, his thrusts began to speed up snd the two of you could hear the sounds of his hips banging into yours snd your ass as he went faster.

"Ah, baby!" He grunted, grinding into you deeply as your hands rubed into his hair. Morning louder, his lips conceded back to yours as you held on snd then to your neck where you heard his heavy breathing. Your body was tightening around him, as he went in deeper now putting himself in. Not to mention you began to pool around him which gave him more speed in the end.

"Namjoon!" You moaned in his ear, holding his back tightly as your legs unwrapped snd opened wider for him. Cursing under his breath, he went harder as you began to arch your bag in pleasure. He held onto your back as your head went backs and the build of pleasure built up quickly.

you held onto his muscular shoulders while he moved you closer to him to go deeper. With that sending you over the edge, you screamed his name in pleasure as yours and his breathing began to match in heaviness. Shopping for a second, namjoon looked you in your eyes and thrust slowly as he was too close and it felt too good.

"In close, but I don't wanna cum yet" he grunted, thrusting deeply in and out.

"Then cum when you can't hold it!" You urged, outta breathe enjoying the depends. "I'm fine with children" you explained. Nodding, he continued and went harder this time.

His mouth roamed your chest, sucking and pulling on the bud as your back arched and mouth open in response. You this time, grinded back cgroundhim to jolt forward and start panting.

"Fuck don't do that unless you-" you interrupted doing it again. Pushing your legs back and open wide he started hammering into you as you began screaming in both pleasure and slight pain. You scratched his back and he immediately let go of your thighs snd pushed your hands back. As your body began to shake under him, he went faster as his chest heaved in breathing and yours became flushed with red. He started to let his enjoyment show more and tilted his head back with his eyes close as he went faster. He allowed the sounds of your whimpering snd moans to fulfill his urge as his balls smack your body hard causing a loud moan to come out from him.

Moving his hips to go at a slightly different angle than before, he noticed you started dripping more and more causing your heat to became more and more pleasurable on his end. He leaned down to your chest and held you as he began moaning in ecstasy as a thick load covered your walls in white.

Stoping and catching his breath, he mouthed something so simple but daring and that was simple.

"Don't leave me"

To which you replied softly. "I won't"

Soon the both of you gained the energy to get in the tub. There you two conversate on what it was like for him to be the king and all, what he planned on doing, and where he wanted to do next.

"Please come back to the castle with me tonight?" He begged, holding his hands with yours.

" I don't wanna be a drag" you looked down.

"You won't, I promise you'll enjoy your new life" he stated happily as ever.

"Namjoon don't you think it's too fast, we just met and all." You mentioned.

"Right, that is an undeniable truth. However, I know you felt the same way I did snd I know this isn't a fairy tale. But I truly feel like we could have a life" he spoke, holding your hands to his chest. Yes, that was true, you did believe in fate snd everything. But this was soon and so much.

"I'll go, but you have to let me have the ability to leave, " you said sadly, bring you to his chest he nodded and turned your body around in the tub.

From there you two did what was needed and packed a small bag of hygiene snd the coffee from earlier to go. You two had to walk back to the castle without being seen or heard at all. Which called for a few close times of being caught, from there he showed you a secrete gate entrance that led straight towards his room. From there, he tried his best to pick you up and take you to his room. there which Mrs. Pot sat praying

"I'm home and I brought a guest" he mentioned putting you down. As she recognized Mrs. Pot, she immediately went to hug her.

"It's been a while, my dear, I remember when you were both sized. I see you ran into the king, ah I knew he would've found you. I mean he's always had an eye on elegance and beauty" she mentioned embracing you tightly and pinching her cheek the same way she did with namjoon.

"I'll tell the guards your home" she looked at namjoon winking. Itching his head as he smiled, he turned to you and stripped naked again.

This time he leaned on the top of you again and you immediately kissed back. "It's a yes" you knew immediately as he took off your clothes once again that same night. Only this time, he focused on filling you up till he couldn't anymore.

"Fuck, this is amazing" he cursed, moving his hips harder as you who was behind sensitive began moaning his name louder and louder. Your legs opened wider and pools of arousal soaked the bed, making him lose control once more in you before pulling you close and moaning in your neck. Spilling once more, he simply uttered

"I love you"

"I love you too"

[emeraldvagabond]

If we're talking about retcons can we also please talk about how Tamlin was retconned too? I have a list™️(sorry this is gonna be long): in ACOTAR it’s a big point that Tamlin didn’t want to be a cruel tyrannical high lord like his dad. This is stated SEVERAL times, in fact Feyre falls for him because he's vehemently anti slavery (compare that to Rhys, who says the NC freed their slaves ONLY because they became hard to brainwash and make them forget about Velaris. Ew). 1/5

But in ACOMAF, he's ok with the tithe? Not that he shouldn’t collect taxes, but at the threat of DEATH??? Because “that’s how my dad did it?” What happened to not wanting to be cruel like his dad? In TAR he's kind enough where people keeping seeking refuge, and long before Amarantha comes, Lucien, despite having friends in many courts, CHOOSES to stay with Tam. And Lucien spends 90% of the book mocking Tamlin or challenging him. He even sets Feyre up with the suriel, fearing no repercussions despite Feyre being important in, uh, breaking their curse??? (and there aren’t any from Tam). But in MAF Lucien is afraid of Tamlin? In TAR, Tamlin offers to teach Feyre how to read and to help her write to her family, and the book also mentions that he teaches her how to ride bareback. But now in MAF he doesn’t want to help teach her her powers and in fact, forbids her from training? And most importantly… in ACOTAR, Tamlin notices Feyre's moods despite being very busy with, you know. Running his court. Fighting off Amarntha's monsters. All that stuff. But he still sees when she's sad. In fact, noticing she's upset is what leads to him writing her poems, to make her feel better. So am I really supposed to believe that he ignores her and becomes emotionally negligent in ACOMAF because “he's busy”? That he doesn’t see her feelings or try to help and console her when he does so several times in book 1? Retcon city. Sorry, this is so long, but I’m angry ranting and Tamlin was retconned sooo much in later books.

NONNY THIS IS LITERALLY A TAMLIN STAN ACCOUNT WE CAN TALK ABOUT HIS CHARACTER ASSASSINATION ALLLLLLLLLLLLL MF DAYYY. IT'S MY FAVORITE PASS TIME.

So really, the tithe, I understand, it's even stated that most of the money and things are for running the estate and the land, upkeep etc. I think a lot of people have the tendency to hear(or read) estate and think....a very large house, but that isn't the case. A Lord's estate isn't just his manor, but his workers, his land, the villages that are built on that land, the animals in those villages, and anything and everything in between. He is literally collecting money to put towards their quality of life. HOWEVER, THE THREAT OF DEATH?

I understand he's vulnerable to Ianthe's whims, because as i've said before, he's never had anyone to guide him through this whole Highlord thing that he never asked for, but that is SO MUCH of a stretch for his character. In TAR he tells Feyre that he's no good for anything but war and death, and fiddling, that he's no good at being Highlord and he's terrified of being his father. Every action he takes is consciously for the betterment of his people and their lives, to the best of his ability while under Amarantha's rule. To the point where Fae, including Alis, flee from Amarantha and the effects of her and Rhysand's actions to his court. And when they get there they all choose to stay. Alis and Lucien, two of the main people who we know are refugees in his court, have nothing but kind things to say of him. And like you said- Lucien challenges him and makes fun of him for being awkward and laughs and plays with him as brothers do without fear. Because Tamlin literally does not enforce rank in his court. He doesn't just say that once, it bleeds into every interaction he has with his people. On the Summer Solstice, he sits among the people and plays the fiddle and drinks and dances with Feyre, and leaves everything long enough to take her to watch the wisps until the dawn breaks. He gets on his knees just to play HER a song, right there in front of everyone. He doesn't hide his feelings behind any type of mask, and he doesn't worry about what his people will think because THAT IS THEIR HIGHLORD. Their Highlord is JUST Tamlin, nothing more, nothing less.

He doesn't even wear the fancy, decked-out clothes of a Highlord, because they aren't practical, and he's just Tamlin.

He's never too busy for what Feyre needs- sometimes he has work and he can't spend every waking moment with her, but she never wants for anything. Even when she is so desperately afraid for her sisters...she has no need to be because he's already taken care of everything they could ever want or need. AND NESTA KNOWS IT WAS HIM!!!!! And even after Feyre does....everything that she does, he STILL cares for her family. When her sisters become Fae, he STILL cares for their father right up until the moment he steps onto that battlefield.

I bet, if Elain wanted to return to that house and live out the rest of her days in silence in the mortal realms....he would probably fund it because that's just who he is!!!!

He lets himself be trapped in that snare Feyre lays for him- just to make her smile. Just to see her triumph. Because he knows that's what she needs at that moment. He offers to teach her to read, but it's too embarrassing for her, so he doesn't press. He offers to help her write letters home to her family, but she doesn't know what she would even want to say, so he doesn't press. He keeps her painting of the woods- of a time when she was starving, now, in a time where she is fed and clothed in finery because it reminds him that is not the only one who feels desolate and overwhelmed with responsibility that they never asked for.

And then in the end, despite all this, despite being desperately in love with her, because he is desperately in love with her...he sends her away. He sends her home, back to that estate, away from the danger even when she is supposed to be his savior. Because it's a burden she doesn't know she carries, because he would rather find a million other ways or suffer under a woman who has been obsessed with him since he was a child than see Feyre suffer.

And she comes back for him because she loves him. She loves the freedom he has given her, the ways he's set her free. She loves the Spring Court and the people there, she loves dancing at the summer solstice and a male who plays her solos in front of hundreds of people like he's offering a gift to the goddess.

And then....all of that was just? A show? A ploy? What? What was it? It doesn't make sense. Yes, he's desperately afraid, but the last time he was desperately afraid he let her go. The safest thing for her in book two would be training. Harnessing her new powers, learning who she is now, and what she isn't anymore. But nooo now, suddenly it's lock her up and put her on a shelf? Now it's, he has too much to do, stay here and not, he has so much to do, stay safe? It's no longer teaching her what she doesn't know it's....owning her? I'd say make it make sense but literally, no one can.

And it makes me mad.