#licensed professional counselor

[gryffindorpsychologyandcoffee]

Finishing up my first summer class with a quick paper! One more class this summer before practicum in the fall!

[official-texan]

😭 I’m finally done!

[danmichelspsychotherapy]

14 Reasons Why You Should Choose a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Certified Hakomi Therapist

In today's fast-paced world, mental health has never been more critical. Choosing the right therapist can be a life-changing decision. For those seeking profound healing and growth, a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) who is also a Certified Hakomi Therapist (CHT) offers a unique and holistic approach to psychotherapy. Here are 14 compelling reasons to consider such a professional for your therapeutic needs.

1. Expertise in Psychotherapy and Counseling

Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC)

An LPC has undergone rigorous training and certification to provide expert counseling services. They possess a deep understanding of various mental health issues, from anxiety and depression to trauma and relationship conflicts. Their license ensures they adhere to high professional and ethical standards, making them trustworthy guides on your mental health journey.

Certified Hakomi Therapist (CHT)

Certified Hakomi Therapists specialize in the Hakomi Method, a mindfulness-centered somatic approach to therapy. This certification means they have mastered techniques that integrate body awareness and mindfulness to uncover and heal deep-seated issues, providing a holistic approach to mental health.

2. Individualized Therapy and Counseling

Individual Therapy

Licensed Professional Counselors offer tailored therapy sessions designed to meet your unique needs. They work with you to develop personalized strategies for managing and overcoming mental health challenges, ensuring that your treatment plan aligns with your personal goals and circumstances.

Individual Counseling

Individual counseling with a Certified Hakomi Therapist involves a deep dive into your inner world. By focusing on your body’s sensations and mindfulness, they help you explore and resolve unconscious patterns that affect your behavior and emotions. This approach facilitates profound personal growth and self-awareness.

3. Specialized Couples Therapy

Marriage Counseling

Relationships are complex and often require professional guidance to navigate challenges. An LPC skilled in marriage counseling can help couples improve communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen their emotional connection. This service is invaluable for couples seeking to build a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

Relationship Therapist

A Certified Hakomi Therapist offers a unique perspective on relationship therapy. By integrating mindfulness and somatic awareness, they help couples identify and shift ingrained patterns that hinder their relationship. This method promotes deeper emotional intimacy and understanding between partners.

4. Innovative Ketamine Therapy

Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy

Ketamine therapy is an emerging treatment for severe depression, PTSD, and other mental health issues. LPCs who offer Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy have specialized training to safely administer and monitor this treatment. Ketamine can facilitate rapid and profound changes in mood and perception, providing relief where traditional therapies may have fallen short.

Psychedelic Integration Therapy

For those exploring psychedelic experiences, integration therapy with a Certified Hakomi Therapist is crucial. They help you process and make sense of your experiences, ensuring that the insights gained contribute positively to your mental health and well-being. This support is essential for safely navigating the complexities of psychedelic journeys.

5. Comprehensive Clinical Supervision

Individual Supervision

LPCs often provide clinical supervision for other mental health professionals. This service ensures that therapists receive the guidance and support they need to deliver high-quality care. If you are a clinician seeking supervision, working with a licensed supervisor ensures that you meet professional standards and continue to grow in your practice.

Group Supervision

Group supervision sessions led by LPCs offer a collaborative environment where therapists can share experiences, gain insights, and develop new skills. This collective approach fosters a supportive community of professionals committed to excellence in mental health care.

6. Expertise in Hakomi Therapy

Somatic Psychotherapist

Somatic psychotherapy focuses on the connection between the mind and body. A Certified Hakomi Therapist is skilled in using body-centered techniques to help clients become more aware of their physical sensations and emotions. This awareness can lead to significant breakthroughs in therapy, as it allows for the healing of trauma and other deep-seated issues.

Hakomi Character Strategies

Hakomi Therapy includes the exploration of character strategies, which are habitual patterns of behavior and thought developed in response to early life experiences. Understanding these strategies helps clients gain insight into their current behaviors and relationships, facilitating lasting change and personal growth.

7. Addressing Relationship Conflicts and Enhancing Emotional Intelligence

Relationship Conflict

Conflicts are a natural part of any relationship but can become destructive if not managed properly. An LPC with expertise in relationship counseling can help you and your partner navigate these conflicts constructively, leading to healthier and more satisfying interactions.

Emotional Intelligence in Relationships

Emotional intelligence is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. Therapists trained in both LPC and Hakomi methods can teach you how to recognize, understand, and manage your emotions effectively. This skill not only improves your relationships but also enhances your overall emotional well-being.

8. Commitment to Social Justice and Understanding Power Dynamics

Social Justice

Many therapists, including those at Dan Michels Psychotherapy, are committed to social justice. This commitment means they are sensitive to the societal and cultural factors that impact mental health. They strive to create an inclusive and equitable therapeutic environment for all clients.

Power Dynamics

Understanding power dynamics is essential in therapy, especially in relationships. LPCs and Certified Hakomi Therapists are trained to recognize and address power imbalances, ensuring that therapy is a safe and empowering experience for all clients.

9. A Holistic Approach to Mental Health

Mindfulness-Based Techniques

Mindfulness is a core component of both LPC and Hakomi practices. These techniques help clients stay present and engaged in the therapeutic process, facilitating greater self-awareness and emotional regulation. Mindfulness-based therapy can be particularly effective for managing anxiety, depression, and stress.

Neuroscience and Attachment Theory

LPCs and Certified Hakomi Therapists often incorporate insights from neuroscience and attachment theory into their practice. Understanding how the brain works and how early attachment experiences shape behavior can provide valuable context for therapy. This knowledge helps therapists develop effective treatment plans that address the root causes of mental health issues.

10. Inclusive and Non-Judgmental Environment

LGBTQI and Poly/Non-Monogamy Friendly

Dan Michels Psychotherapy is committed to providing a safe and welcoming space for all clients, and their sexual orientations and relationship styles. This inclusivity ensures that everyone receives respectful and affirming care.

Non-Judgmental Space

Creating a non-judgmental therapeutic environment is essential for effective therapy. LPCs and Certified Hakomi Therapists strive to offer a space where clients feel safe to explore their thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of judgment. This supportive atmosphere fosters healing and growth.

11. Versatile and Adaptive Therapy Approaches

Variety of Techniques

Therapists at Dan Michels Psychotherapy use a variety of techniques to tailor their approach to each client's needs. These techniques may include Gestalt Therapy, Somatic Experiencing™, and Internal Family Systems. This versatility ensures that clients receive the most effective treatment for their specific issues.

Holistic Mental Health

A holistic approach to mental health considers the whole person, including their physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. LPCs and Certified Hakomi Therapists integrate multiple modalities to address all aspects of a client's life, promoting comprehensive healing and wellness.

12. Trauma-Informed Care

Healing Past Trauma

Trauma can have a profound impact on mental health, and addressing it requires specialized knowledge and techniques. LPCs and Certified Hakomi Therapists are trained in trauma-informed care, ensuring that clients receive sensitive and effective treatment for their traumatic experiences.

Safe and Supportive Space

Providing a safe and supportive therapeutic environment is crucial for trauma recovery. Therapists at Dan Michels Psychotherapy prioritize creating a space where clients feel secure and supported as they work through their trauma.

13. Enhancing Interpersonal Skills

Developing Interpersonal Skills

Strong interpersonal skills are essential for healthy relationships and effective communication. LPCs and Certified Hakomi Therapists can help clients develop these skills, improving their ability to connect with others and navigate social situations.

Conflict Resolution

Conflict is inevitable in relationships, but how it is managed can make a significant difference. Therapists trained in conflict resolution techniques can help clients learn how to handle disagreements constructively, fostering healthier and more resilient relationships.

14. Integrative and Collaborative Approach

Collaborative Therapy

Therapy is a collaborative process between the therapist and the client. LPCs and Certified Hakomi Therapists work closely with clients to develop treatment plans that reflect their unique needs and goals. This partnership ensures that clients are actively engaged in their healing journey.

Integrative Techniques

Using integrative techniques allows therapists to combine different therapeutic approaches for a more comprehensive treatment. This integration can lead to more effective and personalized care, addressing a wide range of mental health issues.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. What is the difference between a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and a Certified Hakomi Therapist (CHT)?

Answer: A Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) is a mental health professional who has met the licensing requirements set by their state, which typically includes a master’s degree in counseling, supervised clinical experience, and passing a licensing exam. LPCs are trained to diagnose and treat a wide range of mental health issues.

A Certified Hakomi Therapist (CHT), on the other hand, specializes in the Hakomi Method, a mindfulness-centered somatic approach to therapy. This certification involves extensive training in techniques that integrate mindfulness and body awareness to uncover and heal deep-seated issues. Combining these two qualifications, a professional can offer a unique, holistic approach to mental health care.

2. How does Hakomi Therapy work?

Answer: Hakomi Therapy is a mindfulness-based somatic psychotherapy that helps clients become aware of their body’s sensations and emotions. It involves creating a safe and non-judgmental space where clients can explore their inner experiences. Through mindfulness, clients can access unconscious patterns and beliefs, which are then gently processed and integrated. This approach allows for deep healing and personal growth by addressing the root causes of emotional and behavioral issues.

3. What issues can be addressed with Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy?

Answer: Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) has shown effectiveness in treating a variety of mental health issues, including severe depression, anxiety, PTSD, and treatment-resistant conditions. Ketamine can facilitate rapid changes in mood and perception, providing relief where traditional therapies may not have been effective. It is particularly beneficial for individuals who have not responded well to other forms of treatment.

4. What is Psychedelic Integration Therapy, and who is it for?

Answer: Psychedelic Integration Therapy is designed to help individuals make sense of and integrate their psychedelic experiences into their everyday lives. This type of therapy is beneficial for those who have used psychedelics recreationally or in a therapeutic setting and need support to process their experiences. Integration therapy ensures that the insights gained from psychedelic experiences contribute positively to one's mental health and overall well-being.

5. What can I expect during an individual therapy session?

Answer: During an individual therapy session, you can expect to work collaboratively with your therapist to explore your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Sessions typically involve talking about your current issues, setting goals, and developing strategies to address them. If you are working with a Certified Hakomi Therapist, the session may also include mindfulness exercises and somatic techniques to help you become more aware of your body’s sensations and emotions. This holistic approach can lead to deeper insights and more effective healing.

6. How does couples therapy differ from individual therapy?

Answer: Couples therapy focuses on the dynamics between partners and aims to improve the relationship as a whole. It involves addressing issues such as communication, conflict resolution, emotional intimacy, and relationship patterns. In contrast, individual therapy focuses on the personal experiences and issues of one person. In couples therapy, both partners work together with the therapist to develop healthier ways of interacting and resolving conflicts, which can strengthen their bond and improve their overall relationship satisfaction.

7. What is the process for starting therapy at Dan Michels Psychotherapy?

Answer: To start therapy at Dan Michels Psychotherapy, you can visit the website and contact Dan Michels to schedule a free 20-30 minute phone consultation. During this consultation, you can discuss your concerns, ask questions, and determine if Dan's approach is a good fit for you. If you decide to proceed, you will schedule an initial session where you can begin working on your therapeutic goals.

8. How long does therapy usually last?

Answer: The duration of therapy varies depending on the individual's needs and goals. Some clients may find significant improvement within a few sessions, while others may benefit from longer-term therapy. The frequency and length of therapy are determined collaboratively between you and your therapist, based on your progress and the complexity of the issues being addressed.

9. What makes Dan Michels Psychotherapy inclusive and non-judgmental?

Answer: Dan Michels Psychotherapy is committed to providing a safe and welcoming environment for all clients. Dan is LGBTQI and poly/ethical non-monogamy friendly, ensuring that individuals from diverse backgrounds and relationship styles feel respected and understood. This inclusive approach fosters a non-judgmental space where clients can freely explore their thoughts and feelings without fear of bias or discrimination.

10. Can therapy help with both mental health issues and personal development?

Answer: Yes, therapy can address both mental health issues and personal development. While therapy often focuses on resolving specific mental health challenges such as anxiety, depression, or trauma, it can also support personal growth and self-improvement. Therapy can help you develop better coping skills, improve your relationships, enhance your emotional intelligence, and achieve greater self-awareness and fulfillment in life.

11. What qualifications and experience does Dan Michels bring to his practice?

Answer: Dan Michels is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and a Certified Hakomi Therapist (CHT) with extensive training and experience. He holds a MA in Transpersonal Counseling Psychology from Naropa University and a MA in International Human Rights from the University of Denver. Dan has additional certifications in PACT Couples Therapy, The Right Use of Power, SAR (Sexual Attitude Reassessment) training, and Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy. His diverse education and training enable him to offer a wide range of therapeutic techniques and approaches tailored to his clients' needs.

12. What is the significance of mindfulness in therapy?

Answer: Mindfulness is a key component in many therapeutic approaches, including Hakomi Therapy. It involves paying attention to the present moment with a non-judgmental and accepting attitude. In therapy, mindfulness helps clients become more aware of their thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations, allowing them to gain deeper insights into their experiences and behaviors. This increased awareness can facilitate healing, reduce stress, and enhance overall well-being.

13. How can I schedule a free consultation with Dan Michels?

Answer: To schedule a free consultation with Dan Michels, you can visit his website at Dan Michels Psychotherapy and use the contact information provided to reach out. You can also call or email to arrange a convenient time for your 20-30 minute phone consultation. This initial conversation allows you to discuss your needs, ask questions, and determine if Dan's therapeutic approach is a good match for you.

14. What types of issues can be addressed in couples therapy?

Answer: Couples therapy can address a wide range of issues, including communication problems, conflict resolution, emotional intimacy, trust issues, infidelity, sexual concerns, and relationship patterns. It can also help couples navigate major life transitions, such as marriage, parenting, or separation. The goal of couples therapy is to improve the relationship by fostering better understanding, cooperation, and connection between partners.

15. Is therapy at Dan Michels Psychotherapy confidential?

Answer: Yes, therapy at Dan Michels Psychotherapy is confidential. Therapists adhere to strict ethical and legal guidelines to ensure the privacy and confidentiality of all client information. This means that what you discuss in therapy remains private, with certain exceptions related to safety concerns (such as imminent risk of harm to yourself or others). Confidentiality helps create a safe and trusting environment where clients can openly explore their issues and emotions.

For more information or to schedule a consultation, visit Dan Michels Psychotherapy and take the first step towards healing and personal growth.

Conclusion

Choosing a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Certified Hakomi Therapist offers numerous benefits for individuals and couples seeking therapy. From specialized expertise and innovative treatments to a holistic and inclusive approach, these professionals provide comprehensive care that addresses a wide range of mental health issues. At Dan Michels Psychotherapy, clients can expect a safe, supportive, and effective therapeutic experience that fosters healing and growth.

[meganbickelcounseling]

Website: https://www.meganbickelcounseling.org/

Address: Georgetown, Texas, USA

Megan Bickel Counseling, led by Megan Bickel, offers individual, marital, and family counseling with a Christian perspective.

About Megan:

Megan, a Licensed Professional Counselor since 2004, is dedicated to supporting her clients' well-being. She facilitates emotional and relational awareness, mental healing, and peace through talk therapy. Megan works with you to identify and clarify issues, explore options, develop strategies, and increase self-awareness.

As a licensed therapist with a background in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and EMDR therapy, Megan's role is to understand and accept every client while challenging thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs that may be hurting or hindering them. She believes that true restoration requires a heart change and spiritual health. Contact Megan to book a session and start your journey towards healing.

Megan offers the following services:

Individual Psychotherapy: Gain self-awareness and a more accurate perception of life situations to transform your outlook on yourself and others.

Family & Marital Therapy: Find a path to peace for you, your spouse, and/or your family.

Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor: Megan, licensed for 17 years, provides supervision for novice counselors, supporting their growth in the mental health field.

Linkedin : https://www.linkedin.com/in/megan-bickel-486ab08/

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[drvanessawashington]

Dr Vanessa Washington - A Licensed Professional Counselor

Dr. Vanessa Washington is a Clinically Certified Criminal Justice Specialist. Dr. Vanessa Washington is a Clinically Certified Juvenile Sex Offender Treatment Specialist. Dr. Vanessa Washington is a Certified Cognitive Behavioral Therapist and has been awarded the prestigious Virginia Colson Award.

[olivebranchtherapygroup]

Counselor for Adults in East Brunswick, NJ

Meet Anita Hicks, LCSW (she/her/hers):

Hello! I’m a therapist at Olive Branch Therapy Group and a licensed Clinical Social Worker. I received my undergraduate and graduate degrees from Stockton University. I’ve been in practice since 2015 and I have worked in a variety of settings within the mental health field.

My Therapy Specialties:

I specialize in working with children, adolescents, teens, and adults dealing with:

anxiety, depression, and trauma

I also have a particular interest in working with individuals with low self esteem, trauma related stress, and mood regulation.

What drew me to this work:

Through my own personal and professional experiences I was led on a path to pursue a role as a therapist. I have always had a passion for connecting with others on a deeper level and this profession provides me with the opportunity to do so. It is extremely rewarding to be able to be a part of someone’s journey in learning to become comfortable with being vulnerable in order to find true happiness.

My style:

I am warm, engaged, direct, and flexible. My goal is to work as a team with my clients to help them see the strengths that they already possess. I take an individual approach as each client and their needs are unique. It is my mission to ensure that each client feels safe and maintains a sense of hope.

Services I offer:

In-person individual, couple, and family therapy.

Anita Hicks’s Credentials:

Licensed Clinical Social Worker License #44SC06014900.

Trained in Crisis Prevention Intervention (CPI), and Motivational Interviewing (MI).Anita Hicks, LCSW

Click here to schedule an appointment with Anita Hicks.

[quarterlifecenter]

Licensed Professional Counselor in Washington, D.C

Dorin is a licensed professional counselor with extensive experience working with quarterlife clients particularly from the LGBTQ+ community. At age 25, he encountered his personal quarterlife crisis which propelled him to authentically face himself and make meaning of his existence. As a result, he began to actively take responsibility for creating a meaningful life while engaging mindfully and intentionally those he encounters.

The journey of becoming himself continues and motivates him to come alongside other fellow sojourners through this stage of life. Dorin seeks to join quarterlifers in a therapeutic process of facing challenges and removing obstacles that block them from going deeper and further in their own personal journey of meaningful living. He enjoys working with individuals, couples and groups as he facilitates purposeful insights that will allow them to live their life more poignantly and reach their desired change.

In addition to helping his clients, Dorin loves spending time with his spouse and dog, catching up with friends, traveling, playing volleyball, and watching timeless cinema.

Education:

PhD (in progress) in Counselor Education and Supervision, University of the Cumberlands

MA in Professional Counseling

BS in Psychology

Schedule An Appointment With Us.

Advanced Training:

Cognitive Processing Therapy

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)

Brainspotting

Approved Clinical Supervision

Approved Clinical Supervisor Certification

National Certified Counselor (NCC)

EMDR Certified Therapist

Dialectical Behavior Therapy Certification

Licenses

Licensed Professional Counseling

Washington, D.C., LPC

Virginia, LPC

Maryland, LCPC

California, LPC

Languages

Romanian

English

Personally Speaking

“I’m confident we can feel more alive, more connected, more engaged with the moment, more comfortable with the unknown and confident in responding to the challenges that come our way. I trust that the intentional and collaborative relationship we form in therapy, coupled with hard work can help you achieve the same assurances.”

Publications:

Harrichand, J., Knight A. M., & Captari, D. (2017). Emotional Intelligence and Counselor Burnout: Emotional Intelligence as a Protective Factor. Journal of Mental Health Counseling (JMHC), 35, 40 – 47.

Click here to schedule an appointment with Dorin.

[liftwellnes]

Licensed Professional Counselor in Boca Raton, FL

Shannon Broderick brings to LIFT invaluable experience in both school settings and partial hospital and intensive outpatient settings. Shannon is specialized in addressing depression, anxiety, attention deficit disorders, and eating disorders, as well as school-based anxiety and college readiness. She has focused on helping adolescent and adult clients diagnosed with various eating disorders to develop adaptive coping skills. She meets clients where they are at, and works on identifying and challenging negative core beliefs and maladaptive thinking.

Shannon utilizes Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Family Based Therapy.

Click here to schedule an appointment with Shannon.

[rozaylnengle]

What Makes a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor Different from Other Therapists?

Understanding the role of a licensed clinical professional counselor can help you choose the right type of support for your needs. Licensed professional counselors in Illinois are well-trained and licensed to handle a variety of mental health issues. While other therapists also play important roles, their training and focus can differ.

[annapatersoncounseling]

A Licensed Professional Counselor Of Mental Health Detroit

Anna Paterson is A Licensed Professional Counselor Of Mental Health In Detroit.

She has dedicated her career to helping individuals navigate through life's challenges and find their path to mental well-being.

With a compassionate approach and a wealth of experience, Anna offers a safe and supportive environment for her clients.

[beaj0urepcc]

Beautiful Journey Reproductive Counseling Center

At Beautiful Journey Reproductive Counseling Center, we specialize in providing comprehensive therapy and counseling services to address pregnancy and postpartum issues such as pregnancy loss, postpartum depression or anxiety, miscarriage, teen pregnancy, infant loss, and infertility. Our experienced and compassionate team of therapists specializes in working with women, birthing parents, and birthing partners to help them manage the emotional and psychological changes that can occur during this time. The therapists at Beautiful Journey Counseling are honored to meet you and help you.

[gryffindorpsychologyandcoffee]

I’ve really been struggling this semester with turning assignments in on time. Today’s assignment is an intake report and I’m pretty nervous about it. Hopefully it goes well and I can spend the weekend finishing my midterm and enjoy spring break next week.

[ichoosemecounseling]

How Can A Counselor In League City Help Develop Coping Strategies?

Life is filled with ups & downs, challenges, and triumphs. However, not everyone retains the innate ability to navigate through the storms with resilience. That's where the expertise of a counselor in League City comes into play. These prepared experts are pivotal in directing people towards improving compelling survival techniques, enabling them to confront life's difficulties with certainty and beauty.

The Significance of a Counselor In League City In Developing Coping Strategies!

Life's journey is made smoother with the help of coping strategies, and a licensed counselor League City plays a pivotal role in guiding individuals towards resilience.

Understanding Coping Strategies

Coping strategies are individuals' conscious efforts to manage stress, adversity, or any overwhelming situation. A licensed professional therapist in League City can assist in honing these strategies, fostering emotional well-being, and promoting personal growth.

Individualized Assessments

Counselors conduct thorough assessments to understand an individual's strengths, weaknesses, and triggers. This personalized approach helps tailor coping strategies to the individual's needs, ensuring a more effective outcome.

Emotional Regulation Techniques

Coping often begins with the ability to regulate emotions. Counselors can teach valuable techniques such as mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation. These practices assist people with turning out to be more sensitive to their feelings and soundly answering them.

Cognitive Restructuring

Negative thought patterns can contribute significantly to stress and anxiety. Clients are helped by counselors to identify and reframe distorted thoughts, fostering a more upbeat and constructive outlook. This mental rebuilding helps with building strength against life's difficulties.

Building Social Support

Human connection is a powerful therapeutic to stress. Instructors work with the improvement of powerful, friendly, encouraging groups of people, helping people construct and keep up with significant connections. Solid social associations offer close-to-home help during troublesome times.

Setting Realistic Goals

Goal-setting is an essential component of coping. A counselor assists individuals in setting realistic and achievable goals, breaking down larger challenges into manageable steps. This approach fosters a sense of accomplishment and boosts self-esteem.

Stress Management Techniques

Counselors equip individuals with a toolkit of stress management techniques, ranging from time management skills to assertiveness training. These tools empower individuals to navigate through life's demands effectively.

Meet Your Trusted Counselor in League City I Choose Me Counseling (ICM) is a leading counseling company in League City dedicated to empowering individuals through personalized strategies. Our licensed counselor in League City provides expert guidance, fostering resilience and well-being on the path to personal growth and fulfillment.

[neoplatinum]

hold me tight - bts | kim dahyun

summary: maybe cupid could save us

pairing: dahyun x fem!reader

themes: angst, fluff, tension, use of flashbacks in italics, marriage counseling, reader insecurity, past physical violence (against original male character, not any member of twice), implied sex, some of twice!

wc: 7.2k

polished silverware, two table napkins, two sets of forks, and knives. a draped tablecloth, and the long wooden table stretching down the dining room. on two ends are two lost souls, once connected with bountiful joy and prosperity. now sat farther apart than the two ends of a colossal ship. barely stitched together by unspoken words and exhaustion.

"what time?" you dig into your steak, back and forth sliding it down the tender meat.

"2pm tomorrow. should i call your assistant?" dahyun digs at her roasted potatoes, a little sweet, just the way she likes it.

"no need, i'll be there." you counter, stabbing the slice of steak, digging into it. pushing the green peas a bit to the left, and sipping the wine. a delicacy truly.

"good." she says quietly, "pass me the pepper?" you look up, the bottle is in the middle.

the dmz line, you lean foward, grabbing a hold of the glass bottle, placing it into her hand.

"here."

"thank you."

the rest of the dinner is followed by the sounds of silverware, and only silverware.

--

dr. yoo jeongyeon, phd, lcpc

you stare at the plaque, gold serif lettering, bold face on top of a black rectangle, sitting directly in the middle of the edge of her desk. your loafers gently tapping the carpeted floor, in time with each tick of a second.

she looks confident, shoulders back and sinking into her leather chair. glasses perched on her nose, a montblanc in hand. eyes a little empty, but inviting, a little too inviting.

"thank you both for joining us today, first time?" dr. yoo starts, eyes taking a slow drift from dahyun to you.

dahyun's legs are tucked together, low heels and a brown suit. she leans forward at dr. yoo's question. "yes, first time."

a simple nod, and a scribble along her notepad. you tilt your head to the right.

"each session with me runs fifty minutes, no longer. if needed, it can be cut short." she says, placing some files away, shuffling paper away, and fixing her glasses. you both nod at the terms. "lovely, could i have you both introduce yourselves?" she continues, eyes back on you and dahyun.

you stare at dahyun.

"i'm dahyun, 26, a fashion designer and a wine enthusiast, lovely to meet you." dahyun stands up, offering a handshake. dr. yoo smiles lightly and shakes it.

"and you?"

"i'm dahyun's wife, 26, ceo and founder of future consultants llc, and a tennis enthusiast."

dr. yoo's eyes stare at you, but her pens moves quickly along the page.

dahyun stares at you, before looking back at her folded hands.

"thank you both, now could you both explain why you are here?" her eyes come back up, those glasses hanging so low is making you mad.

dahyun coughs into her hand.

"we need help." a little unsure, but a desperate plea. your foot stops tapping on the carpeted floor.

dr. yoo scribbles along a new line.

"and you?" the doctor stares at you. you sit up, fixing the buttons on your blazer.

"we're...not the same as we used to be." you say, pulling one leg over the other. dr. yoo nods at that, another line filled.

"alright, now, let me give you some insight on me. i'm dr. yoo jeongyeon, did my phd in human psychology, masters in counseling and bachelor's in neurology. and i'm a lcpc: licensed clinical professional counselor. you can say i'm a people enthusiast." she smiles lightly, dahyun laughs under her breath.

your foot goes back to tapping.

"let's get into it." she sets down the notepad. "could you tell me how you both met?"

--

"what's the maturity date for a treasury bond?"

"20 - 30 years, you seriously have to try harder, sam." you laugh, taking another sip of your beer. sam just grins and flips over a new flashcard.

"okay smarty pants, what are floating-rate notes?" sam taps the index card on the bar table. eyes a little playful, he always did like making you work for your reward.

"they're-"

"stop it ryan." behind you is the voice of a woman, her back hitting yours, nearly spilling your beer. you turn around, a man towering over her, hand on her wrist and his firm grip, stopping her. no matter how hard she tries to pull.

you signal sam.

"take your hand off her." you press down on his wrist, holding his arm in place. the woman stares at you and sam, bewildered eyes and still pulling against ryan's hold.

"fuck off." he spits in your face.

"yeah? let's see how your face looks after this pretty boy." you slam into his chest, him tumbling backwards, foot hitting the barstool and a loud thud hitting the floor. you spot the submariner on his wrist shining under the bar light, fuck.

sam's at the ready, hand on a switchblade, you signal him back, not him.

the woman gasps, hand immediately shooting her sore wrists, shit it looks bad. ryan's still on the group, and then he shoots up. hands at the ready to land a punch, weak form though. you sidestep him, letting him fall forward.

"daddy can't pay to fix your crooked nose?" you smirk at him, taunting him to do anything. his eyes ablaze as he tries again. what a foolish boy.

you let him try and land a left hook, before you start punching his jaw, one good liver punch and he topples over. damn, your jaw hurts too, men like him throw too much of their power into their punches.

"fuck, sam." you groan to your friend, hand trying to pop your jaw back into place. you do, letting out a low shout, before getting your stuff.

stay too long and then he'll call the cops, the last thing you need is another fine print on your academic file. you stumble forward, feeling blood dripping down the side of your head, cheeky bastard, he had rings on.

you barely manage to push the bar door, string of curses falling out of your lip, the cold air immediately frosting your breath. damn it all, and you left your beer half finished.

"excuse me!" the woman's voice carries from the door, and you can see her, urgently trying to get to you. "thank you so much back there."

she's trying to offer you some napkins from her clutch, all you can do it hope that liver punch suckered him to stay on the ground long enough for you to dissapear.

"you have anyone safe?"

"safe?"

you gesture a bit. "like a friend maybe? did you come alone?"

you lean to the side trying to get a glimpse of pretty boy, but he's no where in sight. a good thing. you can see sam though, shoving bills at the bartender, and grabbing jackets.

"no friends, i came with him." her hand goes back to her bruised wrist, yeah that looks awful. you're very glad you stepped in.

"listen, i need to leave now. i would love to do the whole 'thank you, you're welcome' pleasantries, but I don't know how long he'll stay down before he calls the cops."

you explain, seeing sam opening the bar door, urgent eyes calling for you to disappear into the night.

"could you take me home, i really have no other way to get back." you stare into the bar, oh pretty boy's up, shouting at a bartender. you need to exit NOW.

"okay, let's go. i know you're wearing heels, but keep up." you offer a hand, and disappear into the back alleyway. by the time you just turn around the corner at the end, you can hear the distant voice outside the bar.

you're finally in sam's beater car, an old hand-me-down from his grandma, with the girl from the bar in the backseat.

she keeps watching you from the mirror.

"where do you live?" you pull out of the back lot, she's still soothing her bruised wrist.

"eleanor court, upper east side." damn shit, of course she's rich too, loaded with daddy's money just like that dude you suckered punched. how you always manage being at the hands of rich people, you hope to find out soon, because this sucks.

the drive's pretty silent, sam's got his old 80s mixtapes playing from the car radio. and he's humming along as he taps on his passenger door, you're glad that at least one of you has a car.

"woah..." sam brings you out of your thinking. woah is correct, even sam can see it.

colonial style homes the size of manors down the perfectly paved roads. long outdoor lamp lights lining the street. lush bushes and trees lining the sides of the house. not a single police car in sight, you can even see fountains spouting water from a statue.

what a bunch of crap.

"dude, she's asleep." sam taps your shoulder, you quickly put his car in park. looking at her from the rear view, damn she is asleep, jacket covering her torso but her head leaning against the window.

damn, damn, damn.

one wrong HOA member being curious, and you can easily be thrown in jail for the rest of your life. you open your door, rushing to the backseat. opening the door, and placing your hand against her head to keep her body from falling out of the car.

"miss, we're home." she just curls into your hand. "sam, help me hold her up." he nods, using his bodyweight as a rest for the girl's body. you begin searching through her clutch, hopefully she has an id inside.

"kim dahyun.....501 eleanor court." you shove the id back into her clutch. "sam move." you grab a hold of her body, picking her body up. wrapping the jacket and clutch over top of her.

"stay in the car. i'll bring her in." you began walking down the eerily quiet neighborhood, goodness rich people are so pretentious. you struggle to open the gate. then you hear a low mechanic voice.

"hello, who are you?"

"hi, i'm just here to drop off a kim dahyun. she had an issue with some guy at the bar, and she needed someone to take her home." you speak into it, a clicking noise and then the metal box goes silent.

the large metal gates open, you step in, walking up to the front porch, pillars lining the wide entrance.

goodness, you need to get out of this neighborhood. the large wooden door opens and you see two people, a suited man and a maid. of course.

"miss dahyun?" the maid begans fussing over her, hand on her cheek, "oh my!" a loud gasp at the bruised wrist. you drop her into the leather couch.

"what happened?" the butler asks you, offering a towel at your dried blood.

you try your best to keep yourself from dirtying the house, both of them keep staring at you though.

"uh, some guy at the bar, ryan. he kept bruising her wrist, so i had to step in." you point at your head. the butler nods, and the maid begins inspecting the bruise.

"i told miss dahyun to stop seeing him." the butler explains, placing the jacket to cover her.

you nod, so this wasn't even the first time. the maid returns with soothing cream, applying the ointment over her bruised wrists. you stand idly by the couch, a little confused with what to do here.

you stare at dahyun's face, she's rather pretty is what you land on, before the man's voice brings you out of your focus.

"let me offer you a new shirt." you look down, and it does look like you just got into the ring with rocky, blood-dried splotches all over. the butler disappears before you can even say no.

with a folded new shirt, linen and italian, goodness these people have too much money, you shuffle into a bathroom.

changing into it quickly, eyeing all the towels and expensive soaps on the counter. you fix yourself up and exit, seeing the butler and maid still crowding around the girl.

"i, i really should leave. i'm sorry." the butler and maid are still trying to get you to stay, to offer some reward, but really all you want to do is leave this hellscape. unfamiliar faces, with unfamiliar mannerisms, its all too much.

--

"she saved me from a sleazy guy at a bar." dr. yoo jots it down.

"and you?"

"i, i guess i did?"

"you guess?"

"i, yes, i saved her from the sleazy guy." dr. yoo nods.

the ticking sound comes back clearer in your ear. the repetitive ticking feels like tumbling down a hill, imminent and quick swift death.

"let's move on then, how did you two start dating?"

"dahyun was insistent on paying me back for the bar, kept telling me she needed to." you offer.

dr. yoo nods, another scribble along the notepad. then she pulled the file from her desk, and two separate questionnaires werefilled out.

"and it says here, you both attended the same university." ever since dahyun found out you two attended the same university, she began urging you for dinner.

you tried very hard to say no, but in the quad, down the main academic path. she just kept finding you, like a needle in a haystick, she always managed to pick you out from the hundreds of students.

if she wasn't so nice about it, you might have considered it creepy.

"yes, brown." you nod.

"lovely school, my friend's alma mater." dr. yoo comments and lifts her head once more from the notepad.

"how's your sex life?"

you see dahyun's feet uncross and cross again. while you start tapping your foot again.

"we haven't done it," dahyun begins, "in a long while."

dr. yoo nods, and turns to you. "how does that make you feel?"

"i'm not sure."

dr. yoo nods again, dahyun's feet uncross and cross again. the clock's still ticking on the wall.

you are sure it's non-judgmental, it just makes you aggravated, like you're being lectured on how to love.

dahyun can't remember the last time you two have cherished each other. dinner's filled with delicious food, to cover the absence of enticing conversation.

being married to the point of small talk, has drained you both more than you wanted to admit.

"this is still the first session, so let's start with simple exercises. try and vocalize your appreciation for each other. this can be as simple as: i appreciate you doing the dishes today. remember, speaking the unspoken words can change your relationship for the better." dr. yoo stands up, offering you both a handshake and walking you both out her office.

--

"i have to get back to work." you comment, letting dahyun walk in front of you. she nods at that, you both are busy people, even though it's important to try and fix your breaking relationship, you both have jobs to do.

"i'll see you for dinner?" she says as you open her car door, holding a hand over her head as she sits.

"yes, dinner." she nods at you, wanting you to say more. you want to as well, a little unsure.

"thank you, for being here today." she starts, staring up into you, you smile lightly back at her, dahyun's still got that warm eye smile that makes your heart burst.

"you as well dahyun." you lean your head down a bit, "charlie, get her to her office safely." he nods from the rear view. and with that you close her door. watching the car roll away from the sidewalk.

it's weird to have to see a professional for marriage counseling, but in your heart, you do want to fix things with dahyun.

sweet dahyun who is always so concerned with everyone's wellbeing; often neglecting her own. the rest of the afternoon, you try and focus on work, feeling downright awful about how your relationship has disintegrated.

--

"dahyun? i'm home." you enter the brownstone, a little more excited to be home. she's in the kitchen, an adorable brown bear apron over top.

"hey, i'm making pasta tonight." she's smiling.

"need help?"

"no, i should be good. could you set the table?" you leave the kitchen, entering the wine pantry, grabbing one that you know she loves. as well as two glasses, a gift from her parents.

dahyun's walking out with bowls of pasta, surprised to see the bottle in hand.

you begin pouring them into the two glasses, passing one to her, she thanks you quietly, placing down the bowls, and returning to the kitchen. you follow after her, grabbing knives and forks and napkins.

she's busy with another dish, and you hum to yourself, cleaning the silverware while waiting for her.

"damn it. fuck fuck fuck." dahyun's hand jerks back against the pot, her hand instantly going to hold it. you drop the silverware in the sink, quick strides towards her. she burned herself with the pot.

"dahyun, let me see." there are tears in her eyes, and she's shaking her head, she's always been so dismissive of her own pain. you take her hand gently, looking at it. it's definitely bad, red skin over top, hot to the touch. "let's run it under cold water, okay?"

she nods, even though there's tears in her eyes, and all she wants to do is just shrink into herself.

you run the water cold, feeling for it before letting it run over her burned finger. the tears in her eyes are still there, threatening to spill out.

then dahyun cries out. "i'm so stupid, i can't even cook a simple dinner." her tears are falling, much like the water over the hurt finger. like letting the pain rain out from her heart.

"oh dahyun, no you aren't stupid, you never were." you hug her tightly, letting her head fall to your shoulders, quietly crying against your shirt. she cries even harder at that, an anguish cry out for help,

you feel your own tears spring up. how you hate seeing dahyun cry.

"how is it?" you ask, pulling her away, looking at the finger under the water. it's less red, still there but it looks better.

"hurts." she pouts.

"let me go grab some ointment, stay here okay?" you leave, turning down the hallway to the bathroom, rummaging through the medicine cabinet for ointment cream to sooth the pain.

you return quickly, gently dabbing the cream over her finger with a q-tip. letting out a low hiss, and you apologize quickly, letting her relax a bit before continuing to spread it around.

"okay?" you step back, throwing away the q-tip.

"it's good, thank you." then she slips away to finish dinner. you stand by letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding, with every bit of your heart, you hope that dahyun wants to work this out as much as you do.

--

"hello, come on in." dr. yoo's now a familiar face, always a warm if not stoic face. never showing signs of disinterest or much of an opinion, you begin to wonder what it takes to be a professional therapist.

"thank you." you let dahyun ahead of you, her sitting in the left armchair, while you sit on the right. fixing your blazer as you sit with one leg over the other. eyes watching dr. yoo in anticipation.

"how are you both doing?" she starts, that same montblanc in hand, a new shirt, dark blue and glasses hanging on her nose.

dahyun looks to you.

"we're doing okay." you offer, a little smile on your face.

"and you?" dr. yoo turns her head towards dahyun.

"we're doing better." dahyun fiddles with the band-aid over her finger. your eyes linger on it, a reminder of the small act of affection.

"lovely, last time you both mentioned that sexual intimacy had not happened in some time. has that changed since our last session?"

dahyun coughs into her hand, sinking into her armchair. you look away from her.

"no, it hasn't changed." dahyun speaks softly, like she's confessing a sin. you fold your hands over each other.

dr. yoo nods, another line written.

"how is work-life balance for you two?" dr. yoo stares into you, you sit up again.

"it's fine, the normal 9-6pm work day." dr. yoo jots that down. the clock continues to tick in your ears.

"what about you?" dahyun stares at the floor.

"it's okay, usually after work i'll unwind with some wine or television series." dahyun's always been so absorbed with her dramas, often asking you to join her to watch them. you often decline with the pre-tense of overflowing work from the day.

"ah yes, you mentioned you are a wine enthusiast." dahyun nods, wine has always been something she indulged in, you don't share the same love for the drink. finding it all a bit too much for yourself.

"could you tell me how that started?" your eyes go wide a bit, you never bothered to ask dahyun that, just assuming she's always enjoyed it.

"my late father used to own a winery, when i was able to start drinking he started training me as a sommelier." you knew of mr. kim's obsession with wine.

multiple wine cellars across his basement, walls lined with rows of wooden aisles, each row lined with bottles filling the basement. often times you snuck into the basement with dahyun sharing kisses and giggles away from the prying eyes of her parents.

"sorry to hear that mrs. kim, that's lovely to hear that you still has a passion for wine." dr. yoo continues, letting the words fly across the notepad. you uncross and cross the other leg over.

"and you mentioned you were a tennis enthusiast, how did that start?" dr. yoo's eyes are still on the notepad, pen quickly running across the page. you lean forward a bit.

"my friend sam, used to sneak us into the tennis bubble after work, when all the people left the country club. and we would play for hours." dr. yoo nods, more lines filling across the page.

"you never told me it was because of sam, you said it was just a hobby you had." dahyun comments, eyes on you, a little suprised at the conversation.

"i couldn't afford tennis equipment, too expensive." you explain.

dr. yoo continues to write as you and dahyun talk.

"but all those times you came to the country club, you offered to pay for the tab." dahyun leans into you a bit, you let your eyes wander over the name plaque on dr. yoo's desk.

"had to work overtime to pay it off." dahyun sinks back into her chair.

"and dahyun, you seem suprised, how does this make you feel?"

she looks back at her hands.

"i feel awful, i didn't know it costed that much for you." you return your gaze to her, watching the anguish in her eyes.

you wish you didn't feel ashamed about your financial situation, but every second spent with the kims was another jab at your own social status.

"i'm sorry dahyun, i kept it from you because i didn't want you to treat me differently." you shrink a bit, pulling the blazer a bit tighter. eyes falling to the floor naturally.

"and i'm sorry too, for never noticing." dahyun speaks it softly, you barely register the words.

you just nod, letting her hand hold yours. you can't bring yourself to look at her, too ashamed that you feel like you have to hide yourself from the woman you devoted your life to.

you begin to think about the early days of dating dahyun, days filled with anticipation of seeing her. constantly checking your account for how much you could expend on your paycheck, often stretching it for a simple date.

often on the weekends, the kim's visited the country club, the managers all fussing over them, pampering them with free items, as if the rich needed more free item, it used to make you angry.

but never dahyun, a sweet girl built upon integrity and honesty, always offering to pay. treating you with respect that most members of the country would never do, them often throwing towels or other trash at you to pick up. and with gritted teeth, you always do, remembering you needed this job.

"so you both met often at the country club?" dr. yoo cuts into your thinking, pulling you out of your memories. one's that are filled with happiness and anger, all in the same bunch. anger at the rich, but happiness at seeing that beautiful smile in person.

"yes, i worked there, and dahyun's family were well known members there." you explain, squeezing dahyun's hand in yours.

--

"2 o'clock, the kims." your head snaps up from the tennis magazine you're reading. and there you can see your supervisor and your supervisor's supervisor crowding around the kim's.

especially dahyun's mother, she was always more prone to fawning at the attention that the staff would shower them in.

"stand up!" you read from your supervisor's mouth, then he goes back to smiling fakely at the kim's probably hoping to pick at their pockets later when they're far too tipsy from all the champagne they bathe in.

"one day i'm going to strangle him." you side whisper to sam as you both bow at the family.

"not if i get to him first." sam side whispers back, smiling at the kim's. continue to bow at them as they walk across the lobby to the courts. squeaky new tennis shoes on the marble floor.

"hey! you work here!" that familiar voice., you've been trying to avoid her since she found you in the quads hanging out with sam. insistently trying to get you to let her pay you back for the bar.

"hi miss, glad to see you are doing better." sam walks away, citing a need for a bathroom break, but you know better with the way he playfully walks away.

"you still haven't said yes to letting me pay you back."

"because you don't have to pay me back, i just did a nice deed."

"and you should be rewarded." you just sink back into your stool. letting her lean over the desk. "well as kim dahyun, a prized patron here, i order you to follow me to the courts."

"the courts?"

"yes, i want to play." you stand up, heading into the back to get that signature tennis racket that she loves so much, specific engraving of her name etched on the neck of the racket. "grab another one!" she shouts from the desk. you grab a generic one, one that still costed way more than a month's paycheck. placing both racquets under your arm.

"here's what we're going to do, three games, if i win three, i get to pay you back for the bar, dinner on me.

"miss dahyun, that really isn't neccessary."

"it's my wish, and you can't deny a patron's wish here."

so you get beaten, pretty badly, 0 - 3. with you sweating and falling on your back, breathing heavy as dahyun grins from the other side of the court. letting out a loud laugh.

"dinner on me, i'll drag you there myself if i have to!" dahyun's still bouncing a tennis ball with her racket while you recover your breath, all you can do is lift an arm to give her a thumbs up.

--

"well i am afraid our time is up for today, please schedule a session again soon." dr. yoo offers a light smile, and walks you both out of the door. letting the heavy door close behind you. you look at dahyun, she hasn't looked at you since the confession.

you walk her to her car, "dahyun, i really am sorry for hiding it from you. i just didn't want money to affect us."

she stares at your blazer, it's buttoned, the same button she stitched on a couple weeks ago.

"but it does, doesn't it?"

"money?" you stop to think about it, as much as you tried to let it not be a determining factor in your relationship with dahyun.

it really does bleed into your relationship, leaving you paralyzed with fear that she'll leave you.

when you first met the kim's for an official dinner introduced as dahyun's girlfriend, you spent hours with sam trying to find a decent hand-me-down outfit for the dinner.

they were not impressed to say the very least, you had no proper dinner manners. confused your soup spoon with the dessert spoon. nearly knocking wine onto mr. kim.

"i think it did, for a very long time." you open the door for dahyun, letting her in, hand covering her head as she sits inside. you walk over to the driver's side, sitting inside. "i wanted to prove myself to your family, but mostly to you."

"you didn't need to prove anything to me." she says, hands gently grabbing yours. you feel your heart sink a bit.

"it sucked, seeing all your friends get gifted lavish trips and designer bags, while all i could afford to do was cook you homemade dinners." you explain, thinking back your university days, meeting dahyun's friend.

"but that's what they didn't have." she counters. "all the homemade gifts, it was just gifts with enough value to hold each other over."

you really did try your best, with limited budget and often asking for favors. you did your best to offer the best anniversary, valentine's, and birthday gifts.

all of which were intended to express your love for her, spending hours decorating homemade cakes, learning how to cook dinners for two. renting cars to go on road trip, all of which you happily experienced with dahyun.

"i wanted to be someone you could confidently show off to your friends." you think back to dahyun's birthday parties.

open bars, waiters and a massive table filled with gifts for her. all you could do was stare in wonder at the exuberant gifts, all the while you would shrink into yourself, trying to hide your embarrassment watching her open your gifts.

"do you? did you...resent me for it? having money i mean." dahyun drops the question you've been trying so hard to ignore. it's been plaguing your mind lately, how you think about how hard you tried, giving your all into your work for an ounce of validation from the kim's.

validation that you never seem to get.

"no, never. never you, you were the only person i didn't resent." you smile at her, genuinely, and she smiles back. you're glad you met her, even if the circumstances have made your life complicated.

"for the record, i was always confident in showing you off, because i knew who you were in your heart." you give her hand a squeeze as you drive home.

--

"another hour please, i'll pay triple." you say, staring at dr. yoo.

"i'm sorry mrs. kim, but i have another appointment." she stands up, trying to walk you out of the room, and when the door opens, there stands two woman on the other side.

"sorry for the delay, mrs. and mrs. park."

"no worries, dr. yoo, sana and i don't mind." the two woman nod at you, before sitting in the same chairs that you and dahyun were sitting just seconds ago.

"i'm sorry mrs. kim, but really, we don't have more time today, schedule another appointment soon." and dr. yoo closes her heavy wooden door.

you nod solemnly, "dr. yoo, i'm sorry for my behavior." you explain, a bit embarrassed now.

"no need, i understand. go check up on mrs. kim." she just nods and gives your shoulder a pat, closing the door again.

now you stand in the office lobby, with a crying dahyun in a chair.

you sink to your knees, eyes staring up at her. her hair like curtains to her face, concealing the quiet sniffles and sobs that she's letting out.

"dahyun, darling?"

the tears keep falling, staining her dress pants, you hold her shaky hands. as she speaks to you, holding her breath here and there to control her emotions. "you never told me."

"i know, i didn't want to burden you." rubbing at her hands to sooth the pain in her heart.

"but isn't that what we're here for, to shoulder each other's burdens." she cries louder, a couple in the office look over, but you don't care right now. you brush the tears away.

"we are, i just, i didn't know how to tell you."

"but he, he did all that to you, and you didn't tell me. he's my own father."

"i know, i am sorry."

"let's go home please, i want to talk at home." you nod, letting her walk to the car, following her footsteps closely.

--

dr. yoo welcomes you both into her office, getting familiar with the diptyque roses candle burning lowly on the desk.

"mrs. and mrs. kim, please have a seat." dahyun smiles as she sits down, a new pair of glasses hanging on her nose.

"new glasses?" you ask.

dr. yoo smiles at that, pushing up the glasses. "yes, new! just got them yesterday. you smile, dr. yoo has become a familiar and friendly face with you and dahyun. almost like she's a friend, almost.

"shall we get started?" she looks up at you two, that same notepad in hand and the montblanc.

you both nod in sync.

"so, how have you both been?"

"good." dahyun smiles a bit, letting her arm lay along the armchair, eyes brighter than usual. you smile at that.

"and you?"

"we're doing better, i'm happier." dr. yoo write it along a new line, a light smile on her face.

"that's lovely to hear, could you explain why?" dr. yoo picks her head up, watching you explain how life has been. there's been a shift at home, dahyun and you having more time to go on dates instead of tensed dinners filled with the sounds of silverware.

"we spend more time together, having lunch together, and dinner's have become fun to cook together." dr. yoo nods at that, more words written along the notepad, you share a warm gaze at dahyun. her eyes smiling in that way you love so much.

"i haven't asked this before, but how are the in-laws?"

you immediately frown, thinking about the pretentious man that was dahyun's father. a dicator in the family, ruling with an iron fist and often giving you trouble for growing up "different." as he so nicely put it.

you often remember dinner's with the kims filled with biting your tongue and just letting snide comments go by, even dahyun's mother had no say whenever he made uncomfortable jokes.

"i don't think dahyun's parents liked me much, especially her father." you sit back, continuing your thoughts about the demanding man.

"could you expand on that?"

"i didn't grow up rich, which was the biggest thing he disliked, he didn't think i was a good fit for dahyun." you explain, often remembering the side comments that her father would make when dahyun couldn't hear.

"and did you know about this?" dr. yoo turns to dahyun.

"yes. he was adamant about me breaking up with her but i never did." that you didn't know. you always assumed that it was just sly comments towards you, but never did mr. kim outward display his disdain towards you to dahyun.

you button up your jacket. dr. yoo continues to write across her page, leaving you both to sit and think about dahyun's words.

"understood, do you think dahyun's parents affected your relationship with dahyun?" you think about the question, how loaded it all is, you cannot even begin to explain how suffocating being around him was.

family dinners spent trying to escape into the bathroom so he would stop pestering you about your business ventures, or the capital that you had under your belt. you just shudder whenever it becomes holiday seasons.

fearful of the power that mr. kim had over you, one of his last wishes before he passed away was upending his entire gambling debt onto you.

it had become a hold over you, that he would only support the love that you had for dahyun if you were able to help pay off his debt. it became a huge burden on your shoulders, conjuring up a plan to reach financial freedom and success without hindering dahyun's future.

one that you wanted to support from day one, pushing her towards her goal of becoming a fashion designer, every day you suffered at the hands of her father, letting his debt take over your life, all to prove your devotion to dahyun.

and it hurt, to shoulder this weight alone, you always had shouldered the weight of the world on your shoulders to begin with.

"yes, unfortunately. dahyun's father, he. he told me that by taking on his gambling debt before he died, that he would allow me to marry dahyun." you explain, feeling your shoulders release tension.

dr. yoo continues to write fervently, eyes on the page, but a slight nod here and there. you can feel dahyun's gaze on your face, one in disbelief and utter shock. you turn to look at her, meeting her blank eyes.

more than anything, you beg for dahyun to understand, to really understand where you are coming from. a whole life you lived having to make opportunities for yourself, little to no support from others. fighting tooth and nail just to prove that you are worth it. that you are deserving of success and love.

"were you aware she took on your father's debt?" dr. yoo looks to dahyun, not missing a beat or letting any inflection slip in her tone.

"i wasn't. i wasn't even aware he had debt to begin with. what? sorry. um, what? no sorry, how much?" dahyun turns to you, trying to understand all the information that has just been dumped onto her.

"50 million." you sigh, just thinking about the figures. spending late nights calculating interest, and ways to even pay off the large sum of money.

"50? million?" dahyun stands up suddenly, you stand up too. watching her bewildered eyes scan across the room, trying to control her breathing, watching the clock, watching the blue in the reds in the carpet. holding herself as she walks out of the room.

you stare at the open door, the sight of dahyun turning and sinking into a chair.

dr. yoo stands up.

"mrs. kim, perhaps we should end this session here today. dahyun seems to be shutting down."

--

you and dahyun are standing on both ends of the table, her eyes filled with tears as she glares at you.

"you don't think i recognize money-obsessed? you think i can't recognize my father turning you into him? that's all i can see! our marriage is falling apart and you have become my father and i've become my own mother!"

"dahyun, please, all i wanted was to marry you, he forced his hand, i didn't know what else to do." you can feel yourself shaking a bit, your heart racing as you both stand on opposite ends of the room.

"you should have told me." dahyun arms are crossed as she stares you down.

"i didn't want to tarnish the image of your father. i just wanted to love you, and if that was the final condition to marry you, i would do it.." you throw your arms around, frustrated with all this confrontation.

"his gambling debt costed us years of our marriage, can't you see? all this time you wanted to prove yourself to him, he just used you to fix his own problems." dahyun uncrosses her arms, voice reverberating around the large dining room.

"i thought, i thought it would, make him okay with me." your hands drop to your face as you cry into your hands. dahyun stops and walks over to you, wrapping her arms around you, holding you tightly.

"oh darling, i wish you didn't care so much for him opinion." she softly rubs your hair, rubbing circles into the back of your chest as you cry freely. for the first time in a long time, you feel the exhaustion, sadness, yearning all come crashing through your body.

"i wish i didn't too." through long cries in between you finally vocalize it.

"but you love me? isn't that why you did all this?" she questions, a thought thats been plaguing her mind. do you still love her? do you still have the same passion for her you once declared openly to the world? do you still mean each vow you said to her as your hands held hers?

"i do, more than anything else in the world, i love you. my words can only show so much of it." you lift your head up, wiping her tears as she wipes yours.

a small smile on her lips, it's all so stupid.

"show me." she stops crying for a bit, eyes glimmering with hope. she stares at you, in that way you love so much.

"show you?" you try and stop the tears, getting a clearer view of her face.

"show me how much you love me." she says crashing her lips into yours, pulling you forward, your feet nearly stumbling as you wrap your arms around her waist. "show me."

she whispers against your lips, like a spell, you nod and grab a hold of her, rushing you both into your bedroom. you try and show her, that the passion you have for her has always been there, and always will.

--

"mrs and mrs. kim!" dr. yoo invites you in, a warm light shining into the room. you both get seated, while dahyun lets go of your hand.

"i know last time, we had a bit of an outburst, how has that been?" dr. yoo stares at you both, notepad in hand.

"we resolved it." dahyun says confidently.

"resolved it?" she stares at dahyun. dahyun just nods.

"and you? what do you think?"

"we resolved it." you nod back, smiling at dahyun.

"alright, that's lovely to hear. so to follow up, how is sexual intimacy going?" dr. yoo notes the light blush on your faces, unwilling to look at her or even each other.

"it's, it's um, it's good." dahyun starts and coughs a bit, shuffling her feet.

"and you?"

"it's good. very good." you reply, and dahyun slaps your arm, trying to get you to shut up. "oh i see." dr. yoo writes along a new line of her notepad. eyes reviewing her notes so far, comparing previous sessions with this one.

"is there more we should discuss?" dr. yoo comments, eyes lifting off the page again, a light smile upon her face.

"no, i don't think so." dahyun nods at your words, you smile at her. and she shares that same eye smile that you love so much right back.

"right then, well, these sessions are on a as-needed basis. so let me say this in the nicest way possible. i hope we never have to meet in this room again. although my door is always open." dr. yoo gives you both a wink as she ushers you both outside. you wrap your arm around dahyun's shoulder, a little smile on your face.

you hold onto dahyun just a little tighter.

--

a/n: genuinely had so much trouble with this fic, but it has come to fruition so i'm happy regardless! had to do research on marriage counseling and i hope it is obvious but this is fictional and i am not a licensed therapist so there will be inaccuracies. also shoutout to @cry4mina who listened to me word vomit my troubles with this fic <3 please listen to the song as well as look up the meaning of the song!! stay safe and stay healthy everyone!!

[forcedtogrow]

Addressing Pre-T, Pre-transition Anons

I’m getting quite a few asks from pre-T guys about how much you can change your body pre-T, what exercises to do, how to fix body fat redistribution etc. and it has gotten to be a little too much so im making a blanket post regarding this topic. This post is MY VIEWS AND LIMITS. I am not trying to bully anyone, this is a kink blog for fun and I am not a teacher/doctor/counselor/therapist or parent. I am a fun big brother lmao.

1. There’s only so much you can change your body pre-T, and it’s totally dependent on your genetics and dedication to lifting/gaining muscle. Some guys are lucky and can easily pass without T by just working out, I wasn’t one of them but I’ve seen a handful of guys that did that before T. Even then, some of those guys needed T to get rid of an hourglass/pear shape.

2. You can’t spot lose body fat in hips/thighs/ass. You’d need to lose body fat everywhere, but pre-T your body is most likely to hold onto lower body fat because biology wants those fat reserves to make babies. It’s gross and dysphoria inducing but it’s true.

3. It’s worth it to work out pre-T, especially lifting, to create a solid base to work from. If you already have that you’ll grow so fast on T it’ll feel like magic. I won’t lie that it’s frustrating and awful, because I’ve been there and it feels like spinning the pedals on a bike without moving, but it does pay off.

4. Stay balanced with your diet and don’t force yourself into a crazy calorie deficit. It might not be the time to bulk if you feel like your body is reserving most energy as fat (could be your genetics or activity level), but maintaining a baseline that’s Not underweight is a good start.

5. I’m not in a place to tell you to bulk or cut, especially if I don’t know your height/weight/age/activity level. I am not a doctor or dietician and can only say what works for me and people I know.

6. Don’t just focus on one part of the body, do a full push/pull/legs routine at the very least. Like this: https://www.aston.ac.uk/sport/news/tips/fitness-exercise/push-pull-legs or this for a 6 day split: https://www.muscleandstrength.com/workouts/6-day-powerbuilding-split-meal-plan

You need to build full body strength, and more leg muscle can actually masculinize your body and make your hips more boxy.

7. If you can’t transition medically/socially for whatever reason your main focus should be getting out of that situation. This is going to sound harsh but I know many trans people who risked a lot, some trans femme friends that literally risked their lives, and you have to decide what’s important to you. I’m being real because you will only regret waiting—there is no replacement for transition, there is no joy like transition, there is no pain great enough to negate the many many benefits of transition.

I don’t want to get messages like “what if it’s illegal where I live!” That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s sucks, but you either transition or you don’t, and if you don’t that’s up to you, but I cannot assist with that decision. I gave up a lot to transition and waited several years to start hrt for reasons too personal to disclose. I ruined relationships with family among other things, so please do NOT ask me for advice on this because I will not be coddling/sweet. Being a man is hard and messy and a sacrifice.

8. I will tell you what I eat and give general advice of bulking/eating but I will not make a meal plan for you. Every body has different needs that only you and a dietitian can work through, I’m not a licensed professional and don’t want anyone to take what I eat as the only way to eat.

9. If you cannot transition because you are a minor stay off my blog. Sorry!!

[the-garbanzo-annex-jr]

by Gabby Deutch

When someone posted in a private Facebook group for Chicago therapists in March, asking whether anyone would be willing to work with a Zionist client, several Jewish therapists quickly responded, saying they would be happy to be connected to this person. 

What happened next sparked fear and outrage among Jewish therapists in Chicago and across the country, and illuminated the atmosphere of intimidation and harassment faced by many Jews in the mental health world who won’t disavow Zionism. Those who replied, offering their services to this unnamed client, soon found themselves added to a list of supposedly Zionist therapists that was shared in a group called “Chicago Anti-Racist Therapists.”

“I’ve put together a list of therapists/practices with Zionist affiliations that we should avoid referring clients to,” Heba Ibrahim Joudeh, the document’s author, wrote. (A request for comment sent to the practice she runs with her husband did not receive a response.) The administrator of the anti-racist group chimed in, praising the list as a way “to be transparent about clinicians who promote and facilitate White supremacy via Zionism.” The comments came quickly: “Amazing, thank you,” one person wrote. “Omg a place I was looking at is on here,” another wrote, with angry emojis. 

The only trait shared by the 26 therapists on the list is that they are Jewish. “When I saw this whole list created and my name on the list, I was so confused and in disbelief about how, in 2024, this is considered OK. It was a list of Jews,” said Anna Finkelshtein, a licensed clinical social worker in Chicago who immigrated from Russia as a child. “I do not post publicly about the conflict or about Israel at all, ever. It feels like the only way to feel safe as a Jew in the mental health field is to publically speak out against Israel and condemn it and call it a genocide.”

The anti-Zionist blacklist is the most extreme example of an anti-Israel wave that has swept the mental health field since the Oct. 7 Hamas terror attacks and the resulting war in Gaza, which has seen the deaths of thousands of Palestinian civilians. More than a dozen Jewish therapists from across the country who spoke to Jewish Insider described a profession ostensibly rooted in compassion, understanding and sensitivity that has too often dropped those values when it comes to Jewish and Israeli providers and clients. 

At best, these therapists say their field has been willing to turn a blind eye to the antisemitism that they think is too rampant to avoid. At worst, they worry the mental health profession is becoming inhospitable to Jewish practitioners whose support for Israel puts them outside the prevailing progressive views on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

“The goal in therapy is to provide compassionate care to whoever walks through your door,” Dean McKay, a professor of psychology at Fordham University, told JI. “As part of our training — I don’t remember in my own training, and it’s not the way that I train anybody else, to ever say, ‘Look, here are the people who are worthy of our care.’”

“We all worried that it could get this bad, but I don’t think any of us were actually expecting it to happen,” said Halina Brooke, a licensed professional counselor in Phoenix, Ariz. Four years ago, she created an organization called the Jewish Therapist Collective to build community among Jewish professionals and raise the alarm about an undercurrent of antisemitism in the field. “Once Oct. 7 hit, we’ve all been in crisis mode since literally that morning, and the stories that have come in from colleagues and about their clients have been horrifying.”

*****

The antisemitism problem in the mental health profession is more than just workplace gossip. Jewish therapists — and Jewish clients — worry about how the growing anti-Israel orthodoxy will show up in clients’ sessions, and if it will affect their care, especially at a time when more people than ever are seeking therapy. A Gallup survey showed that in 2022, 23% of American adults had visited a mental health professional in the prior year, compared to 13% in 2004.