#libra talking too much o clock

[sxorpiomooon]

How do they feel about you - pac reading

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Pile 1

Pile 1 I'm sorry, the first thing I noticed was that my eyes kept forcing themselves to shut down for some reason it's like when you are thinking about someone and you sort of force yourself not to that's the vibe. I feel as if this person feels like you are walking away from this connection. I want to tell you that you are very brave for making this decision as I can see how stressed you look. Pile 1 might be extremely exhausted I heard "it's time to go" and had a vision of a clock tickling a brown one very light or dark academia core I think it was 9 o clock? I heard "i let go off what no longer serves me". This person has a victim complex they still that they are the victim here, the one who was wronged they are refusing to see the truth it reminds me of the first thing I mentioned while writing this the eye thing. This person self sabotages things and then cries about it. It's like someone is crying with their eyes closed to everyone that they are tied with rope and can't move but they don't realise that they are never tied in the first place. OML im so mad😭😭😭 this person has placed everything in your power I'll tell you what this is the kind of man who would NEVER plan ANY dates or anything and will ALWAYS say "we'll see" etc I'm so mad this person refuses to put any efforts and wants you to do all the WORK and they might also Gaslight you oh my pile 1 you are doing right throw this son of. A bitch away this made me mad too. Also for those who need it, the flower that you guys choose is lotus and the reason why lotus is my favourite flavour is because even while being surrounded by mud, it never loses it's beauty and goodness. I hope you remember that<3

Pile 2

i like this whoever this person is they might be really forgetful air signs if you are asking about a man ooo he good looking might have good eyes but dark circles I'm seeing a dark blue tshirt and very dim yellow lights is this a party no idea a libra is involved anyways this might be a new connection or you guys might be starting a new cycle. Also the second thing I got and I forgot to include was that whenever this person remembers you they might do it in a very pleasant manner it's like a bunch of people talking about you and all a sudden they'll be like "ooooooo xyz? Oh yea they're good they're nice they're very nice i like them" that's the vibe I'm seeing whiskey??? This connection has alot of raw potential only slowly unleashing or revealing itself now, you have the power to take this connection wherever you want it go rn. There are endless possibilities. Apples keep playing in my head SOMEONE STPP IT. I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I feel like either they feel like this or its both of your energy but there's something about childhood trauma here I keep hearing something shattering like plates or glasses broken family and disharmony is what I heard. And this person might also think that you might be a loner or someone who just really enjoys their own company I had a vision of painting? I guess this might also be interpreted as this was a connection with alot of potential but past trauma kinda ruined shit for the both of you and if that's the case I'm so sorry to my pile 2

Pile 3

Someone here might speak like singing as in even while saying normal sentences you might say it in a very melodious manner something about singing also had a vision of a takeaway as in the window and vibing alibi started playing YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT UUST HAPPENEDNNOTONCE BUT TWIECE OKAY MY RUMBLR CRASHED OUT OF NOWHERE AND THEN OPENED AND I WAS SVARWD THAT MY 3NTIRE READING WILL BE WASTED BUTBIT GOT RESTORED AND THEN IT HAPPENED AGAIN BUT AGAIN IT WAS RESTORED. Anyways for some of you something might have happened in this connection that destroyed it as in there was so much hope and light which all ended up in darkness for some reason "all this rage was once love" came to my mind and a very nice warming instrumental played in my head. This is a pile for a very few of you, you might be asking for a past connection. I think there is hope however there's also a need to let go off your emotional baggage in order to continue to connection or for anything. This person also feels this way, that you might have walked away or both of you did because of the unreleased trauma. I hope everything works out in your favour pile 3 <3

[a-libra-writes]

I have a quick question, for the next time you want to chat with us. It's about smut! I really like how you present your NSFW material, if that isn't too weird to say; it's steamy and suggestive, but not in-your-face gratuitous, you know? So that's why I ask, because I admire your writing style. I'm writing something myself and always intended it to go in an NSFW direction, but the story is already quite long and has been very tame thus far, so I'm worried my readers will be like, weirded out? Or maybe they'll laugh or something 😅 I know it's probably a silly question, but how did you muster the confidence to just... put it out there? Any advice?

If you'd rather not get questions like this, I'll happily take a dog photo instead! Thanks either way 😁

hahaha oh what a kind thing to say!!! this really made my evening 😭 am a sleepy libra. and im rlly glad you like my style of NSFW! while i super love the way my friends write smut, personally this is what i prefer to write, so its nice to find appreciation for a more subdued style!

OKEE SO. i totally get what you mean, and I think i have some solutions you can try out.

when I write a scene i know will probs lead into NSFW, sometimes I know if I wanna do a “fade to black”. Other times, I end up writing out more smut than I anticipated, because it just flows well and I think it fits for X reason - it’s an important moment, I just want to write a loving relationship, I feel like writing out a kink bc im a degenerate, etc. 

That said! I’d say really build up the romantic tension of the scene - the touches, the longing, the kissing and gradual undressing, all that jazz. When you get to the point where it becomes more overtly sexual, start writing it out and see how you feel - is it flowing naturally, or are you struggling to come up with the next part? Is it feeling nice and steamy, or just “mechanical” and phoned in?

If it’s the latter, I suggest doing a “fade to black” and then you can return to the pillowtalk and cuddling afterward, which can be really sweet and romantic! I think you can really make something intimate without describing overt “sex part A in sex part B” -- like, have the characters been waiting for this? Have they just survived a harrowing moment, are they about to face one? will they be apart after this, or are they finally together? You can really amp up that emotion, longing and love to make something that ends up feeling far more intimate than just describing the physical act and pleasure of that act.

Strong emotion can make even minor gestures and words of affection a big deal, so you can emphasize certain things without being explicit - like, if the character is touch-starved, they can shiver and lean into someone holding their face or their body. You can have someone so overcome with love or stimulation, they want to hide their face in the crook of their lover’s neck. Senses like the feeling of hair, the warmth of skin, the smell of candles or their shampoo, the feeling of their hearts being together - these are all things that can be described in lieu of just outright writing “X person put Y in Z hole”, yanno? 

to wrap it up, try out a few methods and see what feels most comfortable and natural to your writing style. if it’s really stumping you, move past the scene, write several more scenes and come back to the smut. maybe you’ll get some fresh ideas while you write other things! also, think about the NSFW in fanfics and books you liked - what did you like about them? The dialogue, the descriptions, the inner thoughts of characters? etc. hope this helped a bit haha

(also pls have doggy pic i cant not share them)

[lacheri]

congrats on 200 !! I was hoping you could write something small for me haha so here’s my info:

My personality type is intj or istj I’ve gotten both before and my enneagram is 6w5. I’m an Aries sun Sagittarius moon and Libra rising. My chosen s/o is Jean Kirstein. My perfered pronouns are she/her. I’m introverted around most people but pretty outgoing with people I’m close with. I love giving gifts to the people I love because I love seeing their reactions. Also although I’m super polite to people I don’t know I kinda love to tease the people I’m close to not anything mean just making jokes. As for my hobbies I like reading I’m just a super slow reader and I’m also into video editing. Some stuff that makes me happy are spicy food, the smell of clean laundry, and my melatonin sleepy gummies 😌. My physical description: I’m 18 yrs old I have brown curly hair and brown eyes. I’m pretty tan. I’m also kinda chubby and 5’5 in height. NSFW info: I personally don’t like degrading or any kind of whips/bondage stuff. I do like to use toys on other people though such as viberators or dildos. I hope I understood your rules correctly when you said check requests but I wouldn’t mind you writing headcannons or a small Drabble depending on the tarot card you pick out. :)

I...literally want to be your friend?? I love the combo of aries sun/sag moon/libra rising, you're the best person to have a giggle with <3 (me and my aries bestfriend used to get drunk and dance to this song in high school so it's an aries anthem for me)

The Fool: this card and the zodiac sign Aries are very much so equals in my mind (the card for Aries is the Emperor). the Fool is card zero, representing infinity and the promise of a new journey. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, and both these compare in child like wonder and spirit. the man in the card stands on the edge of the cliff with his belongings, head towards the sky, unknowing that he is about to walk off the ledge. the rose he holds represents purity and innocence, the dog his companion, the sun shining down on a cloudless day. I personally love when this card comes out in a reading, it reminds us that it’s okay to indulge in the childish parts of ourselves. not everything is meant to be taken so seriously. it’s okay to have fun without thinking of the future.

anna sun - walk the moon. "Live my life without coming up for air, now it's all I want. I want everyone racing down the hill, I am faster than you. Wait for summertime."

“Jean, you’ve been DJ this entire ride!”

“I have great taste in music, thank you very much!”

You pouted in the passenger seat, arms crossing over your chest, the soft hum of music playing from the radio as you spoke, “Where are we even going anyways?”

“An adventure, obviously,” his honey brown eyes flickered to you, a coy smile on his lips. “Wouldn’t be much fun if I told you.”

“Some best friend you are,” you grumbled, slouching back into the leather of your seat.

The sun had long rid itself of its presence, the moon replacing its position high in the sky. It was a particularly bright night as Jean drove his car down an empty highway, one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting on the top of your thigh. You had been in the middle of reading your favorite novel, sweatpants on with your hair tied up, when you had heard soft thumps against your window. You had sighed, dog earring your page, and trotted over to your window sill, throwing it open.

Jean had a handful of rocks and a silly toothy grin on his face, calling out that he was going to kidnap you whether you liked it or not. You had simply rolled your eyes, trying hard to conceal your smile and ignore the butterflies fluttering in your stomach, and soon enough you were in the passenger seat of his car.

Glancing at the dashboard, the clock read one o’clock in the morning. You would’ve been wide awake reading regardless, but still, you had to admit it was quite late. Jean seemed completely content as he hummed along to whatever song was playing, fingers drumming on the steering wheel as he stared straight ahead. He threw on his blinker, taking an exit you didn’t care to read the sign to. Trees surrounded you on either side, blocking out any moonlight, and the lack of streetlamps was slightly concerning.

Jean had swerved onto a dirt road then, and you couldn’t help but tease, “Are you taking me out in the woods to kill me or something?”

“Yup, this all my master plan,” he smirked back, slowing down over holes in the road and navigating around fallen tree branches. “I’ve had enough of your smart mouth, time for revenge.”

“Yeah right,” you scoffed, placing your hand over his subtly. “You wouldn’t be able to survive without me.”

“Probably not,” Jean mumbled, his eyes widening. “Oh! We’re almost there!”

Headlights illuminated the sparkle of a shoreline, your eyebrows furrowed upon your arrival. There were no beaches around you, were there? Your eyes scanned as much as you could, and it dawned on you that Jean had taken you to, a lake?

“I found it randomly one day with Connie, it’s not on any of the maps or gps,” Jean began to unbuckle his seatbelt, gesturing for you to follow along with his hands. “C’mon, we’re going swimming!”

“Swimming?” you deadpanned, hands frozen on your unbuckled seat belt. “Jean, absolutely fucking not. It’s freezing!”

He rolled his eyes, “Fine, we’re not going swimming. It was worth a try though. But my real reason is less cool, I just wanted to hang out.”

“Just us?” you couldn’t help but ask nervously, hand on the door handle.

“Yeah,” Jean smiled boyishly, fumbling with the radio, sliding out of the driver’s side shortly after. “Just the two of us, baby.”

You let out a nervous giggle, feeling the onset of your heart pounding in your chest. With a quick gesture, you were out of the car, Jean circling around the front to meet you. His phone was in his hand, thumbs tapping quickly away. Suddenly, the mellow sound of smooth music began to play from the speakers, flowing from the opened windows.

Jean put his phone in his back pocket of his jeans, meeting your gaze with a soft smile with an extended palm, “Wanna’ dance?”

You blinked a few times, feeling heat crawl up your cheeks, “Really?”

He strided closer, grabbing your hand at your side, “Yes, really. Now c’mere already.”

You felt Jean as he twirled you suddenly, pulling your back to his chest, laughing as he did so. You couldn’t hold back your own giggles, squealing as he began to move his feet clumsily to the beat of the song, one becoming familiar as the lyrics and music kicked in. You followed his movements, not exactly as dancerly as you had hoped, but it didn’t matter much to you. There was no one around, and the way Jean was “dancing”, you knew he didn’t care much about how well you moved.

You began jumping on your feet, Jean joining you enthusiastically, screaming the words out at the top of his lungs. You laughed hard at the sight, and he threw his arms around your waist.

“You’re like, my favorite person ever, you know that?” Jean looked away shyly at the admittance, smiling so softly it warmed your heart. “You’re the only person I’d ever want to do this stuff with.”

“Awe, Jean, you going soft on me?” you teased lightly, sliding your arms around his neck as the two of you began to sway.

“Just for you,” he breathed, finally moving his honey colored eyes to yours. “Hey, um, have you ever thought about us?”

“What do you mean?” your heart was pounding so loudly in your ears, trying not to get your hopes up. You had the biggest crush on the man for years, and his words were going to effect every single thing from this moment on.

Jean took a deep breath, nearly stumbling over his words as he spoke, “I’ve liked you, for a really long time. You’re my best friend, and I don’t want to lose you if you don’t feel the same, but, I kind of want to be your boyfriend.”

Your mouth hung open, eyes blinking furiously, “Are you serious?”

“You know what, I’m sorry, that was stupid,” he shook his head as if to erase his words, shutting his eyes and pulling away, your arms falling from his neck.

“Hey wait,” your hand shot to his bicep to stop him from moving any further. “Jean, I’ve liked you from the moment I met you. I just never thought you liked me back.”

“Of course I did! I mean, you’re like the coolest girl I’ve ever met. We like all the same music, you put up with my stupidity,” Jean chuckled, gazing at you so sweetly. “You go out on these late night adventures with me. You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning, the last person I talk to before I fall asleep. You’re beautiful, and that helps too.”

“I would be an absolute idiot to not want to be your girlfriend,” you looked down at your shoes shyly, smiling as the pent up words left your lips. “Who else is gonna’ throw rocks at my window like we’re in the 90’s?”

“I’m just missing the boombox, aren’t I?” he joked, fingers brushing past your temples to caress your hair. “You’re just so you, and you’re not afraid of that. You get me, and I get you. It’s always been us.”

“It has,” you flickered your eyes up at the contact, placing your own hands overtop of his.

Jean had no further words, staring intently at your lips. You placed your weight on the tips of your toes, pushing yourself to close the distance between the two of you. His lips were soft as you kissed him gently, he tasted like spearmint and smelled of expensive cologne, and your eyes fluttered shut. His mouth moved seamlessly against yours, smooth and purposeful, and you could feel all the emotions he held within himself pouring into you. Maybe it was your own, but your brain was silent as the music came to an end, softening in the background.

“You owe me a real date,” you whispered against his lips. “Not one at one in the morning.”

“Can’t promise you that,” he chuckled, peppering a kiss to the tip of your nose. “But seriously, do you want to go swimming now?”

LACHERI © 2021: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations. this is my only account.

[tiramisiyu]

【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: 【夏彦拜访剧情】 Xia Yan’s Personal Story 1-4 Translation

Translated parts: Xia Yan’s Visit Chapter 1: 1-1 / 1-3 / 1-4 / 1-6 / 1-7 / 1-9 / 1-10 / 1-11 / 1-12 / 1-13 Translation Masterlist: here

Video: https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1fA411J7cW?p=3

A quick explanation of how this feature works is that each boy has their own section that you can “Visit”! Part of it is like MLQC’s GSH feature, where you can talk to the boys (with Live2D!) and raise intimacy by interacting with them. The other part of it is a storyline that centers on the MC running around with the respective boy to deal with a certain case or situation.

Commerce Street

MC: Are you sure it’s here?

Xia Yan: Of course I’m sure.

--

[Flashback]

After Xia Yan looked at the message that Sphinx sent to me, he arrived at the answer very quickly.

Xia Yan: A likeliness that symbolizes “justice” – one is the mythical beast Xiezhi*; another is the goddess of justice, Themis.

Xia Yan: The riddle uses “her”, so we can directly exclude the possibility of it being the mythical beast.

MC: But if it is Themis, then “her gaze” doesn’t make sense.

MC: Goddess Themis’s eyes are blindfolded. The motto of law, “Order is the cloth that blindfolds justice” came from this.

Xia Yan: But Themis wasn’t born in the heavens as blind. Not all the likelinesses will have a blindfold…

Xia Yan: I’ve got it! Come with me!

[Flashback end]

--

Xia Yan: Look over there.

I looked towards the direction Xia Yan was pointing. There was a sculpted fountain of the twelve Titans of ancient Greek mythology.

At the 8-o-clock position on the fountain, there was a statue of an unblindfolded Themis.

MC: The fountain in the middle of this street is so small – most people wouldn’t notice the statues on the fountain. How did you think of it?

Xia Yan: There aren’t that many statues of Themis in Stellis City, and only this one doesn’t have a blindfold.

Xia Yan: Plus, have you forgotten – we came here to play when we were young. You even dropped your new hairclip in the fountain, and it was me who grabbed it out for you.

MC: I even did this kind of thing when I was a kid, huh… I really can’t imagine it now.

Xia Yan: That time, you cried so miserably that uncle told us the story of the twelve Titans to soothe you.

MC: Dad really is too much – he actually left it to you to grab the hairclip. Mom must have gotten mad at him.

Xia Yan: I move pretty fast, after all – by the time uncle and auntie noticed you were crying, I had already grabbed the hairclip back.

Xia Yan: In fact, I feel like I was pretty lucky.

Xia Yan: Though my parents departed early, I was fostered at your home. The parental love and warmth of home that I got was no less than any other kid.

Xia Yan: The most important is that I could accompany you in growing up.

Xia Yan’s words made a bit of inexplicable fluster flash in my heart. I subconsciously turned the words back to him.

MC: My mother and your mother were best friends, after all, so this is what we should have done. Let’s stop talking about this – we should go to the place that the riddle points toward.

Xia Yan: Following the gaze of goddess Themis… there, Libra Bookstore.

MC: The heavenly scales also have meanings of fairness and justice. Our lawyer’s badge is the “Thorned Heavenly Scales”. The riddle must definitely be hinting to this place!

Bookstore

MC: Uh… so what should we do now? Look for the wooden box?

Xia Yan: The total floor area of this bookstore is over 5000 square meters. If we rely on just us two to look for the wood box…

Xia Yan hadn’t finished speaking when his phone sounded.

Xia Yan: It’s a new message from Sphinx.

Xia Yan: “Help me send my greetings to that group of rabbits from Pisa, and invite them to sing one line from “O Sole Mio”** for me.”

Xia Yan suddenly put down his phone and looked all around, vigilantly looking over every person who walked past us. 

Xia Yan: We just got to the bookstore when he sent the message. Could it be that he’s following us?

Xia Yan: I didn’t notice anyone suspicious within sight… could he have gotten into the monitor system?

MC: Right now, we don’t know what his physical characteristics consist of. Even if he’s right in front of our eyes, we wouldn’t be able to recognize him.

Xia Yan: Oh well, let’s look at the riddle first.

I returned my attention to the riddle, missing the fleeting sharpness in Xia Yan’s eyes.

MC: I know “O Sole Mio” – it’s a very famous Italian song. But what does this have to do with rabbits?

MC: Plus, “O Sole Mio” was written in Naples, not in Pisa.

Xia Yan: Pisa… rabbit…

Xia Yan: I got it, it’s the Fibonacci Sequence!

MC: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21… starting on the third number, each number is the sum of the prior two numbers.

MC: I know about this number sequence, but how did you think of it using “Pisa” with “rabbit”?

Xia Yan: At the very beginning, the Fibonacci Sequence was drawn from the example of how rabbits breed, so it was also called the “Rabbit Sequence”. 

Xia Yan: “Pisa” thus points to the researcher of this numerical sequence, Leonardo Fibonacci. He was also called Leonardo of Pisa.

MC: So it’s like this. If so…

>The riddle’s answer is related to number-related books (incorrect)

>Suggest that changing the sequence of numbers is the essential part to solving the riddle

MC: The answer to the riddle should have something to do with number-related books, right?

I checked the bookstore’s shop map.

MC: The number-related books are all on the third floor. How about we go up and look?

Xia Yan: That’s not right; the latter half of the riddle says, “invite them to sing one line from “O Sole Mio” for me.” This should be hinting that we need to make changes on the sequence.

Xia Yan: I speculate that the answer of the riddle isn’t a book – instead, it’s a set of numbers.

>The riddle’s answer is related to the electronic books 

>Suggest that changing the sequence of numbers is the essential part to solving the riddle

MC: The riddle also has a second half, saying “invite them to sing one line from “O Sole Mio” for me”…

MC: Could this be hinting at us that we need to make changes on the sequence?

Xia Yan: I’m thinking in the same way as you. The way to change the sequence is hidden in the song verse.

Xia Yan: The answer to this riddle should be a string of numbers.

--

TL Notes:

*Xiezhi are found in East Asian mythology.

** “My Sun”. 

[spiritmaiden23]

A LIST OF MUN INFO.

———  BASICS! ♡

NAME! ♡   Amber!! 

PRONOUNS! ♡   she/her but like I do not Care at the end of the day

ZODIAC SIGN! ♡   DUMBASS INDECISIVE BITCH aka Libra to a t bby! 

TAKEN OR SINGLE! ♡  As far as the general public thinks: I have a BF but a fake one in order to get creepers off my back but mayhaps i should like... platonic marry someone to stop with this. SO HEY IF YOU WANNA PLATONICALLY DATE SLIIIIIDE INTO MY DMS 

———  THREE  FACTS! ♡

1! ♡    Damn... I’m really not that interesting I gotta think. I think I lived in a haunted house back in Jersey. See, NJ is a crazy haunted state as a whole because of the history behind it, there’s a lot of spooky, fun places to explore like Gravity Hill where it’s said that ghost kids push your car up the hill if you put it in neutral, it works because my step sis did it with her friend. I digress. My aunt came to visit once and never came back because there was something she’d sense there and like... HWEOH I’D HEAR FOOTSTEPS IF I WERE DOWNSTAIRS ALONE AND ALSO, there was just this cold, tense atmosphere there. My ipod speaker would randomly turn on and it didn’t stop until I moved out of the house, I once saw an old man in a suit when I woke up at three in the morning, which happened all the freaking time, I’d wake up with scracth marks and bruises... and yeah. That’s a thing. Does not help that the place we lived at used to be a crematorium, that’s the legend at least.

2! ♡    I am 100% a morning person I always wake up at eight o clock seven being the earliest for me. If I sleep in I tend to get nightmares and junk so HJDSKJBAJDB and like, it’s impossible for me to sleep in once I’m up bc I’m the type that takes forever to sleep which is why I am a nightowl. Yes, I am both we Exist and it’s hell. 

3! ♡   Hrm, I think the reason why Drama doesn’t faze me too much half the time is because my family is full of crazy drama. Let me break it down for you. So in Dominican Republic we are believe in the supernatural and the like, my aunt is able to tell the future if you drink a cup of tea she makes, one sip though and she reads the liquids as well. SO, a few years back, my uncle has been having bad luck. Turns out, he’s been cursed by a witch and at first, he thought it was his mother. It wasn’t until this year he found out it was his wife that did it. SO LIKE, THAT’S WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH OFFLINE AMONG OTHER CRAZY THINGS. Whether you believe in this or not, is up to you. This is the internet after all. But I am very much what you see is what you get so... ye! 

———  EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED! ♡  Tungle and discord. I’m going to try out forum rp with a friend and do a koala grip on her as we cry and ship our muses together, shout out to Tarra I love you you crazy meme! 

———  MUSE  PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER! ♡  It really doesn’t matter! If I vibe with the character, I tend to blackout as they take over my body and write for them. IT WORKS APPARENTLY SINCE PPL TEND TO LIKE MY MUSES WHICH I AM LIKE, SHOCKED AND GRATEFUL FOR 

LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S)! ♡  I pretend to not see it. That’s all I’m saying! 

MULTI OR SINGLE! ♡  SINGLE I DID MULTI ONCE AND DIED, mad respect for mumu blogs you guys are amazing and keep doing what you do! 

———  FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF:   FLUFF MAKES ME MELT!! NGL LIKE FOR REAL I DIE EVERY TIME, though this might come as a shock to some since most people tend to expect fluff from me since apparently, I am Good at that which I don’t believe but it is what it is. I do love it but I hate it bc I am an emotional bitch.

ANGST:  H-hurt and comfort :plead emoji: senseless angst just for the point of drama and partners going “NO I HAVE MORE SADNESS THAN YOU” “NO I DO” has no meaning to me, but if there’s character dev in it I am down for that! 

SMUT:  I am g-rated for lyfe.... ON TUNGLE. Subscribe to my only fans for that spicy content though. In all seriousness, I do not mind writing it with close friends, depending on the muses of course because I will say “no” for some of them, and laughing how terrible my writing is with that! That said, I don’t like writing it on tumblr where EVERYONE can see. And on a site full of kids??? No Thanks!! 

PLOT / MEMES! ♡  Sure, sure, sure! I’m not always around and quite frankly am shit as talking things out in the tumblr DMs because I’m not here as often and also tend to forget to respond to things! But memes are also fun to do too, I am pretty open to anything really! 

[astrophysicist-guitar-god]

Thanks for the tag, @imalososos!

nickname: fox (foxmonkey is my main blog)

zodiac: Libra!

height: 5′1″

hogwarts house: Gryffindor

last thing i googled: "rumpled bed” images for a story

song stuck in my head: Well, thanks for that. ;-) Ooh! “Wheelie Mammoth” an outro from a Bob’s Burgers episode. It is the cutest, I wish it were longer. Conveniently linked so you can listen. It’s like, 30 seconds. Go ahead, treat yourself.

number of followers: 180, ooh!

amount of sleep: I’m currently working from home (and loving it, I feel guilty to say; I know how fortunate I am)...anyway, I clock in early, and I like a little me time before I start my day. I usually get up between 3:30 a.m. and 4:00 a.m. I usually get between 5-6 hours if I’m lucky.

lucky number:  17 possibly? No idea why.

dream job: I’m gonna go back in time and be a roadie for Queen. But since I’m short and weak, I’ll have to be one of those Mary Sue roadies who ends up charming everyone and eventually ends up being like, unofficially One of the Band (TM). I’ll be like one of the infamous fifth Beatles, except I’ll be the fifth Queen. It’ll be awesome.

wearing: JAMMIES. It’s been nonstop jammie-time at my house since March.

favorite song: I have way too many. “It’s Late” and “Prophet’s Song” are faves by Queen; “Comfortably Numb” and “Learning to Fly” are faves by Pink Floyd; “Kashmir” and “All of my Love” are my Led Zep faves...”Little Wing” is my fave by Jimi Hendrix; “Movement” by Hozier sends me spinning into the next dimension, his voice is absolutely amazing; “Cast Your Fate to the Wind” by the Vince Gueraldi Trio is sooo nice (he did the music for the old Charlie Brown specials, give it a listen if you like gently jazzy piano); “Never My Love” by the Association, my God I love that song...”I See the Rain” by Marmalade is from the 60s and is a new favorite. “Talk of the Town” by the Pretenders; “Uninvited” by Alanis Morrisette; “On the Mend” by Foo Fighters (so gorgeous);  “Potions” by Puscifer; “Passive” by A Perfect Circle makes me lose my mind, their minor key cover of “Imagine” is one of my favorite covers of anything ever...“Dolphin’s Cry” by Live; “Sour Girl” by Stone Temple Pilots...oooh, “Hallelujah” and “Home” by Hothouse Flowers (NOT the Hallelujah you’re thinking of, go listen)...and that’s just the tippy tippy tippy tippy tip of the tip of the iceberg. There’s so much good music in the world. Oooh, and “Arabian Dance” from the Nutcracker is just stunningly beautiful -- this orchestral performance is literally perfection.

favorite instrument: Piano because I took lessons; guitar, and I can appreciate a slammin’ bass...drums (John Bonham and Roger Taylor are favorites). Violin is very nice.

aesthetic: LOTS of books, CDs, DVDs; barefoot in warmer months, socks when it’s cold out, going shoeless as much as I can, flats preferred when shoes must be worn; cats; art from the thrift store (I had the BEST random art wall in my old apartment, but my current house has plaster walls, and no); v-necks, skirts, sheer black hose, pearls... When going out (and by out, I mean outside of the house, whether it’s work, an event, etc.), lipstick and earrings always.

favorite author: Stephen King, and Emily Dickinson for poetry

favorite animal noise: the little vocalizations that cats make, the little mrrrp? and the chirps are so cute.

random fact: scatterbrained but fun, worst memory on the planet (I’ve been told on  two separate occasions that I have brain like a seive, and/or that I  have a memory like Swiss cheese); given my memory issues, I am extremely  good at times, at Knowing Where Things Are. I’m also really good at guessing (within a few minutes) what time it is without looking  at a clock, and not like the o’ clock times, but, 4:17, 2:38...odd  times. My brother and I can talk about music and music-related memories for hours. I own about a hundred tubes of lipstick (conservative estimate). Around 20 are (were) in my current rotation before lockdown happened.

tagging: this is why tagging games break down when I’m involved, because I never know who to tag. So, if you’re seeing this and you want your followers to know interesting things about you, go for it! :)

[artificialqueens]

as the stars align 7/? (branjie) - rujubees

A/N: hollywood enemies to lovers au; 5.2k - also on ao3

Brooke ended up enjoying her time in Vancouver more than she’d expected to. Life on a TV set was fast-paced and constantly busy, so there was little time to miss Vanessa or wonder what more could’ve happened between them had the timing been right.

It was certainly weird being thrust into a new role so soon after Stars, and Brooke knew that playing two queer characters so close together would raise more questions about her own sexuality, but she was used to the mindless gossip and speculation by this point.

Even stranger was working with a love interest that wasn’t played by Vanessa. Her new on-screen girlfriend was played by Violet Chachki, an actress Brooke greatly admired, but she wasn’t attracted to her despite her gorgeous looks. When they filmed their first kiss and Brooke felt nothing, she almost wanted to laugh at how she ever thought she didn’t have feelings for Vanessa, when their scripted kisses had been completely different to any other Brooke had ever experienced.

Even so, Brooke returned to Los Angeles three weeks into October, convinced that she was over Vanessa. ‘Out of Sight, Out of Mind’ had been working out well for her, having not seen the other woman for over two months, and having had barely any time to stalk her Instagram or catch up with her over text. They’d exchanged a couple of messages here and there, mostly in the form of promises to meet up once Brooke was home, but they didn’t bring up That Night, and Brooke had no expectations of it happening again.

Which she was fine with. And maybe Brooke hadn’t slept with anyone else since Vanessa, but it was just because her work was tiring and any days or nights off that she had, she wanted to keep to herself rather than share with other people. Besides, it had only been two months — hardly an unbearable amount of time to go without having sex.

It was a Tuesday when Brooke finally opened the messages she’d had stored on her phone since the day prior, having then been unable to face socialising after her travels back from Canada. She hated to admit how one caught her eye immediately.

Vanessa: Halloween Party at mine next Thursday! U better come, I know ur home then bitch. ;)

Brooke laughed, excitement bubbling inside her at the thought of getting to see Vanessa on one of her favourite holidays. She sent a quick text in confirmation that she would be present, and immediately began coming up with all of the costume possibilities, feeling thankful that her hectic schedule from the last couple of months meant that she’d forgotten the occasion was so near, and subsequently she had failed to commit to any plans for the night already. She had put so much effort into convincing herself that she was over Vanessa, but still nothing could persuade her that there was any better way to spend Halloween than in her co-worker’s company.

Brooke had a rummage through her walk-in closet on the off chance that she would find something right for the event, but all she had was last years mummy costume that had worked perfectly with her ballet training. Who was she kidding, anyway — of course, she was going to use the party as an excuse to treat herself to something new and custom made. It would be the first time seeing Vanessa — and probably the rest of the cast and crew — in months. She had to look good.

It wasn’t long before the perfect idea came to mind. She only had a week, but luckily Brooke knew just the designer who would be up to the task.

—

On October 31st, Brooke stood in front of her dressing table mirror, adding the finishing touches to her lipstick, proudly admiring her work. She had to admit, she felt like this was the best she had ever looked. The luxury of having a week off meant she’d gotten tons of beauty sleep the night before, lying in before taking her time to pamper herself in the shower, spending hours carefully applying her makeup and gently curling her platinum hair that she had allowed to grow long.

She’d decided to go as Catwoman, and enlisted one of her favourite local designers, Raja, to tailor her the perfect latex catsuit that fit like a second skin, clinging to her hips and ass so much she felt explicit. She’d decided against a mask, wanting to show off her freshly bleached, tumbling locks, and settled on a pair of matching cat ears to complete the look. It was minimalist, yet sexy, if Brooke did say so herself.

“Brooke! The car’s here!” Nina yelled up the stairs, Brooke slipping her feet into slick black heels and grabbing her clutch and phone. She checked the time, noticing that it was already half nine, meaning the party would be in full swing by now. Brooke also had a couple of casual texts from Vanessa that she’d held herself back from replying to, for some reason feeling the need to play it cool as much as possible.

“Tequila shots before we leave?” Brooke suggested as she descended the stairs as elegantly as one possibly could in sky-high heels that she really should’ve waited to put on.

“Girl, oh my God, look at you!” Plastique let out as she came into view. She looked pretty cute herself in a pink Playboy bunny outfit. Brooke didn’t know the girl well, having only had brief exchanges with her during filming, but she had seemed to form a group somewhat with Shuga, Yvie and Scarlet, while Brooke had been focused on Vanessa the whole time. She thought it was about time she got to know them all a little bit more, and the idea of turning up to Vanessa’s in a group comforted her —

— hence the gathering at her house right now, the four women ready in the hall, plus Nina of course.

There was a chorus of wolf whistles and compliments as Brooke did a little strut to the kitchen — she knew that in another life, she could’ve been a full-time model.

“Who you tryna impress tonight, bitch?” Yvie asked, leading Scarlet hand in hand as the rest of the girls followed Brooke into the kitchen.

“Oooh, Brooke Lynn, please tell us!” Nina exclaimed dramatically, as if the last time they spoke in person hadn’t consisted of Brooke claiming she was over Vanessa and Nina telling her she was nuts. Brooke fixed her with a stern glare, hoping she could put her off of pulling this shit all night, but it had been a long time since her manager had been intimidated by her.

“Oh, guys, hush. It’s no one, I’m just trying to make my LA society comeback in style, that’s all,” Brooke said with a shrug.

“Well, it’s a damn waste if you ask me. You look fine as hell tonight, honey,” Shuga hummed. “You know, if I didn’t have a husband…”

“I know what you mean, Shugs. If I were single, I’d be all over that,” Scarlet teased, Yvie sticking her tongue out at her in response. “Seriously, Brooke. You can score whoever you want in that getup.”

“Okay. Why are you guys being so nice? I mean, I’m not the only one dressed up here,” — a quick glance at Plastique’s wide-eyed face confirmed Brooke’s suspicions that something was up. “Nina. A word?” she said through gritted teeth.

The other girls scurried off into the hallway, leaving Nina to mindlessly clear up the glasses as she tried to avoid Brooke’s gaze.

“I’m your manager, not your housekeeper you know —“

“Did you tell them about Vanessa?” Brooke jumped to the point.

“See? Your mind went there even though you think you’ve moved on. You totally aren’t over her!” Nina whizzed round to face her.

“I — what? I am. Clearly you don’t believe me and told them about her — us — anyway.”

“B, look, everybody knows. It’s been obvious for months, and even now, you still talk about her in the same way as before. You guys had sex!” — Brooke shushed Nina frantically — “She wants you back, I don’t understand why you’re trying so hard to pretend you’ve moved on. Isn’t this what you’ve been hoping for the whole time? Why are you trying to downplay it?”

“Actually, I don’t know that she wants that. When we slept together, I made it clear it was a one-time thing. I have no reason to think she wants a relationship or to even have sex again,” Brooke whispered.

“Brooke, you — why did you say that? God, you’re so dumb.” Nina was shaking her head like Brooke was beyond her help and she was finally giving up.

“It was just easier. She’s so young and, like, the biggest romantic I’ve ever met, and she’s the most beautiful goddamn person in the world. I wasn’t about to try and tie her down only to abandon her for Canada a week later,” Brooke revealed sadly.

“Oh, Brooke. You’re so in love, it amazes me how you don’t see it.”

“I — what?” Brooke all but yelled. “I’m not — I’m not in love, I told you, I’m… I’m fine,” she spluttered, which probably wasn’t helping her case. “I don’t even have feelings for her anymore. You’ll see, Nina.”

“Brooke, don’t make yourself unhappy to prove a point,” Nina pleaded with her. The words made Brooke uneasy. She wasn’t in love. She’d had a crush on Vanessa, sure, but she’d never let it get that deep. Nina didn’t know shit.

“Y’all, some of us would actually like to get to this party before the clock strikes midnight,” Shuga called from where the rest of them were stood waiting.

Nina sighed before trotting off, Brooke trailing behind as soon as she could compose herself, her walk lacking the confidence she’d been full of before.

—

“It’s ten o’ clock, where is she?!” Vanessa exclaimed between nervous glances at her phone and sips of her cocktail. Time Warp was ringing through her large, bustling open plan apartment, and as much as Vanessa was proud of her Halloween playlist, she really just wanted to turn it the fuck down so she could listen out for any signs that Brooke had arrived.

“Bitch, chill, you’re being too much. She’s probably on her way. You’ve already texted her enough times,” Silky huffed at her, her iffy The Wiz cosplay making her one of the least menacing costumes there.

“And she ain’t even read ‘em. What if she wants nothin’ to do with me anymore?”

“Calm yo melodramatic Libra ass down. I’m serious, Vanj, you need to play hard to get.”

In spite of Silky’s words of wisdom, Vanessa knew she’d be unable to relax and enjoy herself until Brooke finally showed her face.

She missed her so, so much.

When Brooke announced that she was going away for work in Canada, Vanessa briefly thought that maybe she would finally be given the distance she needed to move on. That possibility flew out the window just as quickly, as after she slept with Brooke, she knew that she couldn’t just move on from her. Not now, possibly not ever.

Vanessa remembered how Brooke had propositioned her, and how she’d almost hoped that the sex between them would be bad. Almost hoped that they were incompatible, since Brooke had made it very clear that she wasn’t after a relationship, or even a friends with benefits situation — she wanted a one night stand, and Vanessa wanted so much more.

But, cliché as it was, the exact opposite had turned out to be true, and Vanessa couldn’t say she was surprised. It had been some of the best sex she’d ever had, passionate and intimate and short and sweet because it had been such a long time coming. And there was no getting Brooke out of her head after that.

After a few more minutes of socialising, pretending to be immersed in conversations but really just wishing it was Brooke she was talking to, Silky pulled Vanessa aside.

“She’s here,” Silky announced like they were in some sort of spy movie. Vanessa tried to break free of her grasp, but Silky had more advice to give. “Be cool. Trust me, if you want her to fuck you again, act like you barely even remember who she is.”

“Silk, that’s ridiculous,” — but Silky was shaking her head disapprovingly, and the more Vanessa thought about her strategy, the more she supposed there wasn’t any in harm in waiting for Brooke to come to her first — “but if Brooky don’t wanna answer my texts, maybe she does to deserve to be left on read for a little bit. Like, in real life.”

Silky frowned at that, perplexed.

“It’s an analogy, bitch.”

After a few more minutes of conveniently failing to notice Brooke’s arrival, Vanessa turned around and found the woman of her affections already staring at her, though she quickly diverted her gaze after getting caught before returning it and giving Vanessa a small wave and a shrug. Vanessa smirked in response, causing a blush to rise in Brooke’s cheeks, clashing endearingly with the sexy, badass character she was portraying.

Brooke looked so hot she made it hard to look away, but Vanessa didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of thinking her newfound presence had that much of an effect on her. Didn’t want Brooke getting any impression of Vanessa waiting for hours, longing for Brooke to show up.

Even though that was exactly what she had been doing.

—

Brooke wasn’t one for conspiracy theories or jumping to conclusions, but all night she’d had a sinking feeling that Vanessa had been avoiding her.

It started when she’d arrived, when Vanessa certainly hadn’t seemed as enthusiastic about their reunion as Brooke felt. She’d given Brooke a quick smile in recognition, and then gone back to her interactions with the group of people she was currently socialising with, barely sparing Brooke a second glance.

She felt self-absorbed even thinking it, but Brooke had at least hoped she’d come over and say hi — she’d even kind of been expecting it after Vanessa had dropped her so many messages about the party. But maybe she was just being polite. Maybe she’d had too many people back out already, and she just wanted to make sure.

Whatever the reason was, it hurt more than Brooke could fathom. She became deflated and dejected, trying not to sulk as she mingled with her other co-stars and crew members, knowing that she was probably looking like the lamest, most miserable Catwoman to ever exist.

It stung to think that perhaps Vanessa regretted what had happened between them, but then again, why should she still be caught up on that night? If Vanessa ever felt something for Brooke, she’d more than likely moved on by now. After all, Brooke had.

If one good thing came out of Vanessa ghosting her, it was Proving Nina Right.

“I told you so,” Brooke said when she finally caught up with her best friend again, at around midnight. She was straddling the line between tipsy and drunk from all the alcohol she’d been knocking back in self-pity.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to, but I doubt you did. You know I’m never wrong,” Nina replied with a smile.

“Vanessa. I’m over her.”

“And have you been thinking a lot on this night about how you’re over Vanessa?” Nina laughed.

“I mean it, bitch. I haven’t talked to her since I got here. Not once, nope.”

“By choice?” Nina questioned, narrowing her eyes.

“Well. Not exactly,” Brooke scrunched her nose in response. “It’s just… I think she hates me.”

Nina huffed dramatically, seeming uncharacteristically impatient with Brooke Lynn.

“Right. That’s it. I don’t even wanna hear this. You two are the worst communicators in the world and I’m tired of it,” — she grabbed Brooke’s hand and dragged her across the kitchen and out onto the deck, where Vanessa stood, a literal angel, glowing under the moonlight.

“Vanessa! How good to see you! Love the party, dear,” Nina called loudly, Brooke feeling like a bratty child being forced to apologise on the playground.

“Hi, V,” Brooke greeted Vanessa, warmth surging through her when Vanessa grinned back at her.

“Sorry, I have to just take this,” Nina butted in, gripping her silent phone, “after all, a manager’s job never ends.”

“How was Canada?” Vanessa started after Nina had left them to it.

“Good. Really good, actually,” Brooke confessed eagerly. “How’s LA been?”

“Same old, you know how it is, girl.”

“Yeah.”

There were a few moments of awkward silence which Brooke used to subtly take in Vanessa’s costume. She was wearing a detailed white corset and bra, huge wings, and a bejewelled headpiece, plus matching stockings that made Brooke want to stare at her thighs all night long. And maybe touch them a little bit, but that was fine, any self-respecting lesbian would feel the same way.

“Brooke, about what happened between us, after the wrap party —” Vanessa began, making Brooke seize up in a panic at the elephant in the room finally being addressed.

“We can forget about it,” she blurted out, her ego unable to handle Vanessa’s words of rejection right now. “It’s no biggie.”

Vanessa said nothing, snapping her head away from Brooke to look up at the moon again.

“Sure, let’s do that. It’s for the best,” she agreed finally.

“Yeah,” Brooke whispered, at a loss for what else to say.

Vanessa faced her again, and shit, she was a terrible actor. Her eyes were wet and had she really been crying this whole time while Brooke was unaware right next to her? Not that Brooke could blame her — she was already feeling like they’d gone and fucked up the tentative friendship that had been formed between the two of them. Brooke felt her throat constricting as she realised how much she hated this. How different it felt now.

“Good talk, I guess,” Vanessa summarised, and she was gone from Brooke’s side in a flash.

—

Brooke had decided to call it a night soon after her conversation with Vanessa, no longer in the mood for any kind of festivities. She was quiet the entire Uber ride home, and was grateful when for once, Nina chose not to pry.

They couldn’t avoid each forever, though, as that Saturday they had their first press gigs for As The Stars Align. As Brooke spent the morning getting ready, she regretted how much she was not looking forward to the day’s schedule — first a panel with the whole cast, and then some paired interviews; naturally, as co-leads, Brooke and Vanessa had been put together for all of theirs.

The panel rolled around too quickly, and Brooke found herself on stage in a line with Michelle, Asia and Katya to her right, Vanessa and the rest of the cast to her left. There was an audience of a few hundred in front of them, and their moderator was a woman called Monét.

“Hi everyone,” Monét began, receiving cheers in response. She introduced each person on stage and gave out some background information on the movie before scrolling on her iPad and launching into the questions. Brooke spared Vanessa a glance, but her co-star seemed strangely out of it. Brooke wanted to bring her back to reality, check she was okay, but she couldn’t catch her eye. As a result, Brooke missed the first couple of questions, and was thankful that none of them seemed to be directed at her. She made a mental note not to watch the panel back later and scrutinise herself for a lack of professionalism that would no doubt be obvious to her own eyes.

“Katya, I wanna talk about your decision to be involved in the creative process of the movie. What made you want to take an active role in the production of As The Stars Align?” Monét asked as Katya’s face lit up.

“This project is my baby,” Katya began with a slight chuckle. “This story is so special to me and to be honest, I don’t trust these bitches unsupervised,” — the audience laughed and Katya’s eyes widened as she apologised and asked whether she was allowed to swear.

“But in all seriousness, I did want to make sure it was done right. A lot of LGBT people, especially young ones, have told me directly how much my book means to them and I didn’t want to let them down. It’s why I wanted the diverse cast and crew that we have. Unfortunately, they happen to be horrible monsters to work with,” Katya joked.

“Speaking of monsters…” Monét grinned wickedly. “Vanessa, what was it like working with the Brooke Lynn Hytes? And playing love interests no less?”

Brooke blushed slightly, turning to Vanessa with a quirked eyebrow. Vanessa looked caught off guard.

“Lemme think how I’m gon answer that,” she teased after a few seconds. “And get your camera phones out, I know y’all be recording and tagging.”

“Please, everyone's dying to know if the diva rumours are true,” Monét carried on sarcastically.

“Working with Brooke Lynn was… an experience,” Vanessa began, earning some stifled laughs from those on stage who knew their shared history. “She’s damn fierce at what she does — if I’ve had even a fifth of the career she’s had by the time I’m her age, it’ll be a blessing.”

“You calling me old, bitch?” Brooke quipped, and the audience laughed again in delight, but Brooke had seen Vanessa smile enough times to know that her heart wasn’t in the one she was giving her right now.

The rest of Monét’s questions went off without a hitch, but when they directed the line of enquiry to journalists in the audience, Brooke felt a sinking feeling in her stomach at the unpredictability of it all. One of the paparazzi introduced himself as being from Fox News, and Brooke wondered how she was going to pretend to be nice to this man.

She’d expected casual sexism or homophobia, but she almost threw up a bit at the actual words that the words left the reporter’s mouth.

“Brooke and Vanessa, we’ve had many inside sources claim they saw you both enter the same hotel room on the night of the wrap party. What I want to ask is, is there any truth to the speculation that the two of you are romantically involved?”

Monét had to hush the rumblings of the audience, giving Brooke a few extra seconds to think on her feet. Vanessa looked horrified (which Brooke would’ve taken offence to if she didn’t feel so bad for her) and was choking on air, most likely thanking her luck that they had been saddled with passing a few microphones around rather than wearing them.

“Brooke, Vanessa, feel free not to answer that. I’m speaking to the management about vetting as soon as this is over,” Monét said, only half kidding.

“It’s okay. Vanessa and I aren’t together, but wouldn’t that be quite the story?” Brooke replied, the words tasting like salt. “However, she has become a very good friend of mine, and, um, she deserves the world. All the amazing humans on this stage do.” The audience aww-ed and ahh-ed, touched.

“Y’all heard me earlier, I wouldn’t be caught dead with her senior ass,” Vanessa exaggerated, Brooke laughing despite the joke made at her expense, gratefully that Vanessa was able to lighten the mood.

After another twenty minutes of audience questions, thankfully none as invasive as the first, they departed the stage and took a lunch break before their upcoming afternoon of paired interviews. Everyone ate together at a big table, Vanessa sat a few seats down from Brooke, and she was still being unusually quiet.

Brooke hated not hearing her loud voice soaring above all the rest.

—

Vanessa’s Halloween party had not gone to plan.

She had envisioned it so well — Brooke would arrive just as Vanessa was a couple of drinks in wearing a bomb costume; they’d lock eyes from across the room and the spark would be reignited. They’d spend all night catching up, just the two of them in their own corner, and maybe one of them would make a move.

Maybe she’d had her hopes too high expecting a grand love declaration or a kiss that swept her off her feet, but she thought Brooke would at least be down to continue whatever they started. Instead, her day had ended with Brooke telling her that she wanted to pretend that night had never happened.

Vanessa was fucking crushed.

She had never experienced heartbreak, not really — her only relationship had been Matt, and she had been more relieved than sad when it was over. But she was completely devastated to realise that her fantasies of a future with Brooke would remain fantasies. Vanessa hated herself for falling for Brooke so hard and fast, especially since the intensity of her feelings were clearly unreciprocated.

Vanessa was also, despite being a professional actor, completely terrible at hiding her feelings. When she was in character — following a script — she was mostly able to detach herself completely and convey any emotion regardless of whether it was one she able to empathise with, but when she was being herself it was no use.

She was sure fans would pick up on it, would question why Vanessa wasn’t her usual bubbly, loud self on stage. If only they knew.

Her first joint interview with Brooke was with a tall, blonde woman named Alaska, who wrote for an LGBT magazine. When Vanessa joined her in the small press room, Brooke Lynn was already there, early as ever (except for her Halloween party, Vanessa thought bitterly).

“Hi, girls,” Alaska drawled. Her questions were pleasantly thoughtful, focussing on the message of the movie, allowing them to give in depth, individual answers, though afterwards they were ordered to up the chemistry between the two of them, so clearly they hadn’t been everything the publication was looking for.

And she had to give it to her — from then on, Brooke did start making an effort to connect with Vanessa in her responses, even though Vanessa struggled to put their personal issues aside.

After more interviews that seemed to go on forever, mostly with male reporters who were as boring as they were old, they had one final discussion with a girl named Tatianna, which would be printed rather than filmed. She was more gossipy, but just as sweet as Alaska had been.

“Ladies, this one’s a little personal, so just let me know if you want to move on and we’ll cut it out. I don’t know your identities, but I was wondering whether your own experiences with sexuality have influenced the way you play these characters, and your decision to take on LGBT roles.”

Vanessa looked at Brooke, hesitance etched over her features, and it suddenly clicked that Brooke was a celebrity, and her sexuality wasn’t public knowledge — Vanessa had been oblivious before Brooke had come out to her. She didn’t know why the thought had never occurred to her before, but she realised that Brooke was most likely being intentionally private about her sexuality for whatever reasons and she didn’t want to put her in a compromising situation, no matter how frustrated she was with her right now.

“Obviously, I can’t speak for Brooke, but yeah, it definitely played a role for me. I’m bisexual, and there was such a lack of bi representation for me growing up — there still is now, and of LGBT representation in general. I always assumed I was straight, ‘cos I didn’t even really know that liking more than one gender was a thing. There was no bi figures, in fiction or the media, or if there was, they were constantly being erased… but that’s a whole other discussion, Mary.” Vanessa noticed that Brooke looked utterly engaged in what she was saying, and it was nice to feel heard and understood.

“So yeah, I was definitely conscious as a bi person about taking queer roles. We deserve to tell our own stories, you know? I feel like having a movie like this with such a diverse cast would’ve really helped the teenage me who was just trying to figure herself out.”

Tatianna nodded compassionately, before turning towards Brooke.

“I, uh. I agree LGBT representation is so important, and the way it’s handled is always an indicator on quality in a script. I feel like people of any sexuality can relate to queer roles — especially women, or people of colour, anyone who knows what it feels like to be marginalised or a minority. But yeah, there’s definitely a lot of me in my character,” Brooke confessed, smiling half-heartedly.

“Well, this has been a very insightful conversation. Thank you both for your time,” Tatianna concluded, shaking their hands.

The interviewer began talking with the behind the scenes people whose jobs were a mystery to Vanessa.

“Girl, what a day,” Vanessa yawned, hoping they would be given the okay to leave soon.

“Ness, I… I’m proud of you, you know,” Brooke said. Vanessa’s heart melted with both affection and sadness at Brooke’s gentle voice, and properly looked her in the eyes for the first time in days.

“Bitch, don’t get soft with me.”

“I’m serious… you just, like, came out to the whole world. That’s a big deal.”

“Well, not the whole world, just Refinery29 readers,” Vanessa joked. Brooke laughed a disproportionate amount.

“You ever think you’ll do it? I just realised we never talked about all that —” Brooke’s face became immediately pensive at Vanessa’s question.

“Sure,” she decided after a few moments of reflection. “I mean, I have my hang-ups, but if I got into a really serious relationship, I wouldn’t wanna hide it, y’know?” — Vanessa nodded — “but sometimes I worry that I’ve left it too late. Like, what if everyone feels I’ve been lying by omission all these years and I end up betraying both straight people and the LGBT community at the same time?”

“Ima stop you right there, girl,” Vanessa cut her off. “You don’t owe nothing to nobody, got it? If you do it, it’s gotta be on your own terms. Gay people won’t give a shit that it didn’t happen earlier, they know how it is. Trust me, if they ever find out Brooke Lynn Hytes is one of them, they ain’t gonna be mad.”

Brooke raised her eyebrows, and Vanessa wondered if she knew she was projecting.

“And I’m not done. To address your other concern. If homophobes are pissed then you’re doing something right. You finessed them and got their homophobic coin, be proud, bitch!”

“You know, surprisingly, that made me feel a lot better. Thanks, Ness,” Brooke shared with a small smile.

And Vanessa felt better, too. The issues between her and Brooke couldn’t be magically fixed, but for now, a weight had been lifted.

[showhohyuk]

how about. Me,,,,mmmmm taht @jooheonies love,,,,mmmmm

anon wrote: :D nawar!

bloodorangeki wrote: @jooheonies :/

send me a tumblr user’s url and i’ll tell you what i think about them !

My baby, my angel !! My tentacle lover ! Before we even start with the actual love post and I get all emo and cry over my keyboard I just want to point out the absolute power you hold over me? I’ll go about my day fine and dandy and as soon as you message me my center of gravity immediately shifts and all I can do is sit helplessly as I jiggle like sad Jell-O as the waves of love come crashing over me. (Literally… so evil; Nawar is chaotic evil and will never admit it, what a fool. I know better…)

With all that aside, I can finally validate you miss Nawar to my utmost capacity or until I literally have written a 300k fic about you. Warning it might get sappy and gross but don’t make fun of me I’m sensitive and I have a lot of feelings :(( I’ve rewritten this so many times, I’m only a fool for you.

There’s this artist I’ve followed for months and months, her name is Chiara Bautista; she has a series of works following the moon and night sky (depicted as a bunny-mask donned woman (?) and a wolf, respectively) and it’s honestly, I’ve never felt more moved by art than when I saw those pieces. I lovingly refer to them as being “written in the stars” because Bautista seemingly doesn’t name her works… interesting. But they’re so beautiful and they’re both ethereal and magical but also tragic and heartbreaking. I, a dumbass, have lovingly referred to you as the tragic protagonist of my dreams, and I meant it; because when I saw that art, I realized that that’s how I saw you? In a weird way? You remind me of past lives and soulmates and red strings and sideways glances and etc etc.

I don’t even know why; but you know… I feel like everyone has someone in their life that they can see having some epic love story, or being the protagonist of one. And every time I think of you I think of love written in the stars and fate and I even have this recurring daydream of you and a red string and love so beautiful the universe falls to its knees… and it drives me insane because why… why when sometimes you talk about tentacles and feet and spit and do so much questionable shit… why.

It’s all so endearing though. I promised I would be completely honest writing this and I’m being honest when I say I’m stupidly endeared by all the foolish things you do and the even more foolish things you say. You’ve been told that you’re annoying or clingy or whiny and all this other shit ad nauseam, but I for one find it all so fucking. Precious. I should be annoyed; in any other given situation I would be, but your power is making me stupidly fond of you no matter how much you stress me out by eating dumb shit and all this other STUFF. God. You’ve already heard all of this before, but that’s because I feel like I can be open with you about everything. Usually, I tend to get into friendships I regret especially online, and that’s usually because I don’t know how to say no, but with you it’s all seemed so? Natural, like you’re with me every day and I inherently am with you every day.

You probably think I’m dumb as hell for being so needy about you being needy with me because? Who the fuck does that? Who sits around waiting to validate people? FOOLS. AKA me, the biggest damn fool on the planet; but it’s all for one (1) person. It’s gotten to the point where my friends think that I’m like… in capital-L in Love with you (mood!) or that we’re dating. Haha jokes on you, fools! Nawar is a piece of art and the signs say DO NOT TOUCH ! God, I literally love going on and on about how much I love you and how much you mean to me and everything but? It’s all so real… I’m not even joking when I say I think about you !! A lot !!

Like I love going to sleep at like… 8 PM but I stay up way later talking to you and I don’t even realize the time until it’s 2 AM and I’m sitting there hating my life but not giving a shit because you’re cute and we’re talking about fool things. Tentacles. Shownu’s asshole. Moldy jell-o. Literally anything goes in a chat between tungle users jooheonies and shwhyuk :/ damb, we live like this… Also speaking of… talking. I LVOE YOUR VOICE. God, your voice is so cute and adorable and usually I hate really high-pitched voices but yours… it’s so cute it’s like talking to a whole ass candy bar it’s that sweet. Everything about you is something I usually find myself hating but miss Nawar… you’ve changed my mind about literally everything while simultaneously validating every reasonable thought in my head about people like you. Now I fully support Libras, now I love clingy people, now I love high voices, now I love everything about you try to change my mind !!!

Going back to the art pieces I mentioned way in the beginning but never elaborated upon: I also feel like… you’re the moon of my life? Wow we did a full 360 turnaround but I saw the moon and I thought of you again :/ Like I don’t even know why but I think of all these romantic things and think of you by association; I think my heart loves you but my mind hasn’t caught up yet because my heart’s beating too fast. (That’s the most foolish sentence I’ve ever read in my life and I’m writing a fucking essay right now what the fuck.) The moon? You. The sun? You. The stars? You. Everything in this universe makes me think of you while also being literally lackluster in comparison to you; I’m blinded by the furious rage of my love and nothing can change that… wild.

And on top of being super endearing and cute and everything you’re also fucking GORGEOUS STUNNING BEAUTIFUL INCREDIBLE AMAZING… how did I not elaborate on this before god I’m literally such a fool… BAKA. N e ways, you are literally the goth girlfriend of my dreams that I never knew I wanted but the one I need?? Your fake nose ring?? Your yellow top that could forcibly send me into cardiac arrest??? Not 2 literally be gay or whatever but I’m 1000000000% sure you’re the most beautiful girl in existence I don’t know any girls anymore I only know Nawar hehe !!! Like this entire message is so fucking gay and laced with some sort of gay chaos clocking in at literally 1.1k words right now (which is so fucking unreal because I can never manage to hit the word count for essays but as soon as it’s about you I can whip out a million words in under ten seconds wow conside me… whipped) but I feel like I haven’t talked enough about you? I got 3 separate asks telling me to talk about you so I have to keep fucking going??

I don’t even know what to say because half the time I’m really so stupidly fond that I sit there like a complete FOOL smiling at my phone for no damn reason like we were talking about Boba girl but also I was like “I bet my outfit would snatch the FUCK out of Nawar” like wtf… how could u… distract me from my one and only love miss boba girl… how… that’s true power: knocking my thoughts away from a cute girl to THE CUTEST GIRL !!!! THAT’S YOU !!!! I know I’m so incoherent now compared to earlier but I’ve been writing for a whole ass hour and I’m now realizing I could go on for another eighty but I don’t want you nor anyone else to suffer from my undying love? Stop Shannon from literally being in love with Nawar challenge :/ Failed.

I’m not even going to proof-read this because I know just how much of a mess I am like this is so wild… what the fuck am I doing… how did I go on this long. I know I’m gonna feel like I didn’t write enough and make a part two or a part million because damn… I love running my mouth about you :/ I’m literally only stopping for everyone’s sanity because this shit is now 1.4k and I can’t believe I’m writing in?? Arial at pt.10 single-spaced and I’m at two (2) whole ass pages like mf NAWAR LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME… GOD.

GOOD FUCKING NIGHT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OR WHATEVER… HHHNNGN EVIL. I’m gonna go and sob into my pillows about how much I love you now… I’m such a mess !

[1095]

3 Tags Because I Procrastinate And Everything Builds Up; Part Two

i’m back on my bull everyone :)

[First Tag - @welcometochanskitchen​]

1. What is the group you supported the most this year? BTS because I am TRASH

2. What group did you get introduced to this year? Stray Kids, The Rose, A.C.E, The Boyz, SF9, a couple of more, and I finally listened to ASTRO, NU’EST and WINNER.

3. What song(s) were your favorite this year? Black or White (Cross Gene) Rookie (Red Velvet, My First and Last (NCT Dream), Cover Up (Taeyeon), Love Is So Nice and Elevator, Al1 (SVT) and Sunrise + Moonrise (Day6) were a pure blessings, Untitled, 2014 (G-Dragon), Wanna One’s Beautiful, Gashina, Where You At (NU'EST W), Taemin’s MOVE, and lastly, Love Yourself 承 'Her' ABSOLUTELY KILLED ME.

4. What album(s) were your favorite this year? Moonrise, Story Op.2, all BTS albums are my favorite albums, MOVE, and My Voice.

5. Which comeback were you most excited for? BTS LMAO WHAT KIND OF QUESTION

6. What’s a concept that you want to see with your favorite group next year? The most platonic gayest family mind-twisting one. 

7. What rookie groups are you excited for? LOONA and Stray Kids

8. Which idols were your favorite this year? ... BTS, like always. Taemin and Heize killed 2017 too.

9. What was your favorite food this year? spicy stir fried pork uM SO GOOD

10. Is there a song that you will play when the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s? I played A Supplementary Story: You Never Walk Alone and it was magical because “you never walk alone” was sang at exactly 12 and it just hit me so hard how much I love BTS

11. What’s the first thing you want to do when 2018 begins? Go to sleep and that’s exactly what I did

[Alphabet tag - @achuu-nice​]

A: age? 16 B: birthplace? Dominican Republic C: current time? 9:48 PM D: drink you last had? Water E: easiest person to talk to? My dog F: favourite song? I Need U G: grossest memory? Sixth grade, a kid threw up blue ice cream all over me. H: Hogwarts house? Ravenclaw I: in love? Love is fleeing however BTS remains as my one true love(s)  J: jealous of people? Only of BTS because they know BTS K: killed someone? not yet. L: love at first sight or should I walk by again? Keep walking until your feet start bleeding M: middle name? Not legal  N: number of siblings? One O: one wish? for the world to improve. for example, stop mass production to reduce the amount of trash we have, improve our recycling and stop our environment from dying, reduce the use of non renewable resources, be more open-minded and stop being dicks to animals.   P: person you last called? my brother Q: questions I’m always asked? are you really 16? like no f*cking shit why would I lie about my age R: reason to smile? BTS and my dog :) S: song u last sang? SAVE ME SAVE ME I NEED YOUR LOVE BEFORE I FALL T: time you woke up? 11 AM or something like that U: underwear color? Gray, just like my outlook on life. V: vacation destination? My bedroom W: worst habit? Biting my nails X: x-rays? I’m too dumb to understand but I agree Y: your fav food? Spicy stir-fried pork Z: zodiac sign? Libra 

[11x11x11 - @stray6​]

1. What are your thoughts on avocados? Delicious all the time, I miss my avocado tree.

2. Who do you want to meet most in the world? Honestly, the Eleventh Doctor. Excluding fictional, which ew, what a bummer, then Ricardo Arjona or Kim Namjoonie.

3. What is your favourite Disney character? Winnie the Pooh

4. How much money do you want? Enough to have a big house, with big cars & big rings.

5. What does “ rawr XD “ mean to you? you may now kiss the bride

6. List 3 things you think are funny? People getting hurt after they do something hurt, when BTS does something stupid and you see Yoongi’s little shit smile, Jin cracking tf up and Hoseok clapping like crazy while Namjoon hides his face in embarrassment, and my dog is pretty freaking funny.

7. Tell a random fact about yourself? I capitalized and fully spelled all the words in your questions just for my aesthetic.

8. Tag your favorite Blogs! Not a questions but I will do as such: @hyuunjins​ @achuu-nice​ @astrayminho​ @stray6​ @chanbng​ @seungminty​ @seungchanie​ @stray6​ and like 100 more

9. What was the last song you listened to? Jonghyun’s Like You.

10. Do you like flower petals? No but I don’t dislike them. 

11. How did you get into your ULT group? One of my now best friends made me watch a BTS MV during Biology class.

[mixietrattel]

In case anyone was wondering about my drag con experience!!!

So this is going to be all based off of memory, which is in no way completely reliable so I’m probably going to be missing a few details but basically I just want to outline my experience/what it was like meeting the queens/how the convention was set up. 

So day one Kayla and I arrived around 9, and they bring all of the non-VIP badge holders to the bottom floor to wait in a giant room. They started letting us in slowly, so a chunk of the line would go up at a time. Luckily we were the second group, so when we got up to the convention floor it wasn’t very busy yet. We were planning on seeing Shea first, but most queens weren’t at their booths yet so we decided to go to Raja and Manila’s line. As we were walking by though, we saw the beautiful Serena Cha Cha at her booth. We were in a rush so we didn’t stop to say hi, but she was super sweet saying like “hi girls how are you have a good drag con!” When we got to Raja and Manila’s line it was decently long and both of the queens were there. As we were waiting though, Raja had to go to the winner’s walk for the opening ceremony. The handler said that everyone could stay in line if they wanted to wait, or form a different line to meet Manila alone. Kayla and I had both met Raja before so we decided to just see Manila. She was so kind, and when I told her my poster was going to be the first one signed with my name (I have two signed ones I bought off of her website) she went “Oh! I’ll sign the back too then!” and proceeded to write my name on the back, so I joked and said “Awesome now it’ll be all over my white walls,” and she just went “oops.” Manila was amazing though, and I’ve been dying to meet her since she’s one of my all time favorites.

Next we went to go see Alexis Michelle because she was a top priority for me and I wanted to get a specific t-shirt from her. The line for her wasn’t bad either, probably less than ten minutes. When I went to buy the shirt before getting in line the guy told me they were all sold out and I guess I looked disappointed/Alexis overheard because she paused with the guest I was talking to and told me that the artist who designed the shirt was at the con and was selling prints of it if I wanted it and told me not to worry. I ended up getting a pretty 8x10 and getting back in line. Alexis was so so sweet and we talked about when she came to my school last year and there was an alt-righter trying to speak, and counter protests, which led to a glass door of the building we were in being smashed. Good memories. Our pic was super cute and she kept hugging me, I love my Auntie Alexis. 

I think we went to go try to see Violet next, but she was walking a show at fashion week that day so she wouldn’t be there for a couple of hours, so we bought meet and greet passes for $5 each that we could redeem to get into a priority line. After that we went to go see Laila. Renee Martel was running her merch stand so I chatted with her about seeing her at Rhode Island Pride and Laila’s merch. She probably had the coolest stuff and the most variety, including old prints, little pins, an enamel pin (which I bought and wore day 2 idk if you can see it in pics), and 8x10′s. Her line was decently long, and while we were waiting to meet her we ran into these two women promoting a documentary on Boston drag that Laila was going to be in. The director was SO sweet and enthusiastic, and has been working on the project for over four years so I’m definitely going to post about it when I get more information. Laila’s line took I wanna say 30 minutes and then we got to meet her. We chatted about Keith Haring and other stuff, she was really cool and is super funny. 

Pretty sure after Laila we went to go say hi to Biblegirl and check out the dragqueenmerch table. Bible was just kind of chilling in this little alley between two main alleys with Rubber and Lisa. She wasn’t talking to anyone, so we just went right up to her. Bible was probably the sweetest person we talked to all day. She was asking so many questions and kept saying how she was so happy to meet fans and did this all for us. We got to chat with the guy who designed her outfit that day, which was cool. Kayla and Bible bonded over their Libra-ness aka their messiness online. I asked her to tell Soju to get her ass over to the convention because at that point it was two hours in and she wasn’t there, so Bible told us exactly how to sneak into Soju’s gig that night. Again, messy but the absolute sweetest.

After Bible we went to Bob’s line, but Bob was on break so it was stagnant for a while, which was fine. She was probably the first queen we waited over an hour for, but as a winner it was worth it. I didn’t get anything from Bob’s merch stand, so I don’t have anything signed from her unfortunately. Funnily enough while Kayla held down the fort I went to wander around the con looking for Soju who had FINALLY showed up at that point, and I kept seeing Bob literally running around in her little clown costume. I went back to the line and after some more waiting Bob came back. The line moved pretty quickly so we got up to Bob easily enough. Her setup for pictures was a little tight and she had a guy there to take pictures, so I kept apologizing for getting in the way because I had to take pictures for three people, plus get pictures myself. Bob clocked Kayla’s accent and asked if she was Canadian, then turned to me and said “now I KNOW you’re Canadian because you’ve said sorry probably a million times,” and I told her that I was from Rhode Island, and her camera guy came to my defense saying he said sorry a lot too. Bob was a ton of fun to meet.

We wanted to go see Fame after Bob, and on our way I spotted Soju and her team off in a little empty area alone. I quickly yanked Kayla and our little group over and ran up to DS, because I was wearing my Soju shirt and had been DYING to say hi. When Soju saw me/my shirt she got so happy and pulled me into a hug. Then she turned to DS and told him to turn the camera on and all of the sudden she was interviewing me. She asked a bunch of questions and was super sweet, it was really surreal getting to talk to her in person. I didn’t get a picture with her though, so if she edits me out of the episode I’m going to be a little pissed. 

After Soju we got in line for Fame and it was.... a mess. We waited for Fame for probably two hours. The line kept getting mixed up and people were jumping in and out. Plus, Fame was in a really heavily trafficked area and had an open setup, so a lot of people were stopping to take pictures and confusing the crowd. By the time we got to Fame we were pretty irritated, but nothing makes Kayla happier than Miss Fame so it was worth it. Fame recognized Kayla immediately so the two of them chatted for awhile, and I snapped a million pics but none of them turned out fantastic. I didn’t chat with her as much but Kayla was having her Laganja moment so I didn’t mind. Fame’s line took so long though that the convention was winding down to a close. We didn’t really have time to go meet another big queen, and I really wanted to see Joslyn who was nearby so we decided to make her our last queen for the day. We went over, and though you didn’t HAVE to buy anything to get a picture with her I really wanted a print so I got one anyway. Joslyn looked adorable but we didn’t really talk much as she was having too much fun dancing around to the music playing. We got a pic though, and Kayla got a video for one of her friends saying Happy Birthday. After that we just left the convention and went home. Day 1 was kind of stressful because the amount of queens was overwhelming, plus the lines were all ridiculous. Even though we both love Shea and Trixie we knew neither of those two were options to meet.

Day 2 we got in around the same time again, and I saw Michelle Visage in line for Starbucks which was a little surreal. Also, Meatball was wandering around dressed like Jackie-O so Kayla got a cute pic with her. We had a list of maybe five queens we wanted to see, and Naomi was up there so we hopped in her line first at like 10. Her people said Naomi would show up at 11, and since the line wasn’t too bad we decided to wait. Naomi got in at 11:30 though, and we still had the passes to go see Violet but she had to leave at 12. So I told Kayla she should just take our Violet pass and go meet Violet with two of her friends already in line, and I’d meet Naomi instead. If I made it in time I would’ve joined them at Violet’s, but it didn’t look like it would work out that way. I ended up talking to a guy in line though, so I wasn’t left completely alone. Brian from Soju’s show was the guy taking pictures for Naomi, so when the person in front of me was taking pics I got to talk to him a bit. When it was my turn, Naomi was so gushing with compliments and incredibly sweet. She told me I was beautiful, and she loved my hair, and all this stuff that was making me blush. She looked stunning in person too, so I was just a mess. Our pic together was probably my favorite from the whole weekend, maybe tied with Bob’s. 

Kayla really wanted to meet Laganja and Gia next, and they didn’t have a line because they had closed it off for a break, but decided to stay longer. It cost $30 to meet them, so Kayla was the only one who wanted to do it, plus she got two cute t-shirts so it was worth it. I didn’t really hear what they talked to Kayla about because their camera guy was helping me edit my manual camera settings to better fit their specific lighting setup. He also gave me his flash attachment for my camera, so the pictures turned out really high quality. I didn’t talk to them much though so I don’t have a lot to say, Gia looked STUNNING though (no pun intended).

We got in Peppermint’s line next, which also took over two hours. The wait times were ridiculous, and even though they worked out some kinks by day two the queens kept having to leave their tables so lines would halt for twenty minutes at a time. Kayla and I just hung around in line, and got the same 8x10′s. There were these two little kids who both got Peppermint’s fans who popped them for her, and she was so enamored with them. She kept dancing with them and talking to them, it was adorable. When we went up Peppermint remembered Kayla from the awesome scrapbook she did, so Peppermint was talking about how much it meant to her and holding onto it. Pep had her own camera guy, so we both took pictures. Then I went up and Peppermint was incredibly sweet. I don’t remember exactly what we talked about but she just gives off such a good aura. So did her whole team, they were all so warm and inviting. 

After Peppermint’s line we were kind of done with waiting for big queens. Aja’s line was a mess, Shea was charging an intense amount of money, we didn’t even look at Kim’s line. Even Bible had a decent line of people to see her, even though she didn’t have one yesterday. We decided to wander around to see what queens had shorter lines, and after searching all weekend we finally spotted Kimora’s booth. There was no one really there, and the setup was confusing because it was technically one booth split down the middle, one half Kimora’s one half Cynthia’s (who was not present at the time). Kimora was talking to a handler, and it seemed like they were getting ready to leave so I asked the guy behind the table what was up. He said they were going on break and they’d be back in fifteen minutes. I asked if we could wait in line and he looked super confused and said sure, we could wait at the table. We ended up being the only ones there and they left, so we just kind of hung out while she was on break. She didn’t take too long, and seemed really apologetic about making us wait. Her voice was super hoarse too, and she had a water bottle, which was probably why she had to go on break. Kimora was definitely the nicest Ru Girl we met day 2. She told me she was obsessed with my outfit, and we bonded over our love of wearing black. She apologized for her weird booth set up, and we talked about how odd the setup of the convention was. After her the whole day seemed kind of lame because she was just such a bright spot and just the best to talk to.

Kayla and I decided to go back to Bible after that, and waited in line for a few minutes because we’d rather have someone we could talk to than wait two hours for another big queen. Bible was again so cool and chatted with us for a while. We also had to retake pictures because our first day ones did not look so cute. It was just a reminder that drag really isn’t just Ru Girls, and sometimes your local talent is just as if not more interesting. 

The convention was almost over, but Kayla had friends waiting in Fame’s line so we went to go join them. Kayla bought another print and I decided I’d rather just take pictures for Kayla, and stopped over at Shea’s booth to pick up a t-shirt that I really wanted. Fame’s look was even more stunning the second day if that’s even possible, and the wait was definitely better the second time around because we joined people instead of standing there the whole time. After Fame I tried to track Soju down to say hi again but the lights were getting shut off so we decided to leave. 

Overall, I would say Drag Con was one of the best weekends of my life. I got to finally meet Kayla in person, and was surrounded by a community of people I felt safe and accepted in. There’s no way to really describe the surreal feeling that occurs from being around so many of your idols in one place. Both days when we left and were riding on the subway, our passes dangling from our necks as we were surrounded by normal people again (more often than not staring at our strange ensembles), we kept asking if that was real, because it honestly felt like a dream. Of course there were a lot of downsides. It was expensive, disorganized, the lines were eternal, the lighting was homophobic, and we deprived of food and water all day. Hopefully next year they can sort things out better, and more queens will come since it won’t be so last minute. Maybe with bigger names like Adore, Katya, Willam, and Alaska the Farrah line will be more accessible. I’m honestly counting down the days until Drag Con NYC 2018 is announced.

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

11/30/2017 Horoscope

Aries: You had an awkward exchange with Death. He was adorably nervous, and you were unsure how to talk to a supposed-to-be-metaphorical being. You somehow managed to set up a date, and neither of you are quite sure how it happened. It’s tomorrow. The shadow people about had a celebration in the background. Death practically ran away after the date was settled, and you think you saw him turn to hiss something to some of the shadow people. You’re not sure you wanna know.

Taurus: There’s a pond in the town park. It’s pretty big. It’s draining itself and no one can tell where the water is going. There appears to have been some kind of portal opened under it. This is not your fault.

Gemini: Watch the stars with Kcirederf, tonight. You haven’t done that in a while. It’ll be peaceful. The spirit from 2B will join you for a short while, then leave again.

Cancer: It’s kinda hard to keep time down here, but you’re pretty sure that you passed a Sunday. Sunday is game day, AKA when the field is fed another team. Shouldn’t there be a new team down here with you guys? There isn’t. It’s still just your team.

Leo: It’s awkward to avoid the alleyways. It makes any path you take to get around the city much longer than it has to be. You have a horrid idea, and you’re gonna hate yourself for this. You tell the foot your terrible idea and it’s supportive. You don’t like this idea.

Virgo: You go through your day on autopilot. Baxter tries to get you to play with him. You say not right now. Baxter gets an idea.

Libra: There is an impressive origami dragon on the counter. The Brownies were obviously busy. You also find some cute new designs for Christmas around the shop. You can’t find the wire anywhere, which makes you wonder what they did with it. 

Scorpio: Listen, it’ll be okay, this is a bit of delicate situation but we’ll fix it, we’ll get you assigned to a new constellation and they’ll know how to deal with all this and be ready and they’ll be good for you and we’ll get it all sorted out and you’ll be fine and and and-

Sagittarius: The viewing party has reconvened for another viewing of the strange hole. It is exactly as it was the last time you all viewed it, except that under the glass there is now some sort of liquid. The fluid fills up most of the hole, but stops a few inches before hitting the green lid. It looks like water, but seems too thick for that. Every once in a while a bubble breaks the surface of it, causing ripples that don’t die down. They just keep going long past when they should have stopped. You can’t tell what color it is, because green glass just makes everything look green. Bobby once again practices the tried and true method of jumping on the glass, as if that will reveal answers. To exactly nobody’s surprise, it does nothing. Well, if nothing else, this provides plenty of fodder for new betting pools

Capricorn: You and Pup have to practically tie Punchy to the couch in order to get him to stay put, because he’s apparently the kind of hero who doesn’t stay down while injured despite everyone telling him to rest and recover. You’ve played that role a couple times, bit of a switch up to be one of the worried friends. You studiously ignore how you can tell exactly what Punchy will say to Pup or Pup will say to Punchy before they say it. Fluffy proves herself to be the best, as though there was any doubt, by placing herself on top of Punchy’s uninjured legs, preventing him from moving. 

Aquarius: You find your rhythm. You wake up, eat a bowl of cereal. It’s early, 7:17 AM. You go to the gym, work out while talking to the owner. You shower. You go walk around the town, stop to talk to Linda on her porch. It’s getting too cold for her to be outside every afternoon. You go home, it’s 12:25 PM. Lunch. You eat a bowl of cereal. You work on your milk puzzle. You finish it, then disassemble it and start over again. At 6 o’ clock PM, you take a break for dinner. You eat a bowl of cereal. You go back to working on your milk puzzle. You go clean the gym at 8:39 PM. You go home. You go to bed at 9:56 PM. You sleep. You don’t know the exact time you fell asleep.

Pisces: You are stumbling, your legs are weak beneath you. You wobble, but continue walking. The wind whistles around you in worry. The veins in your hands and feet stand out in stark contrast to your paling skin. They are darker than they should be.

[wannaoneioi]

Questions Tag

shout out to my @minhwangs for tagging me!

read more to find out!

THE LAST

drink:  Mango Peach Iced Tea

phone call: my mom (because i got lost in the mall lmao)

text message: pd101+w1 creators gc (as the maknae i usually ask how everyone is because i wonder what is going on with everyone)

song you listened to: Wanna One’s Energetic (I have it on repeat, as my alarm and everything)

time you cried: just now (due to jaehwan’s high note STAN MARIO’S HIGH NOTE)

HAVE YOU EVER

dated someone twice: no (i’m too ugly to date people lmao) 

kissed someone and regretted it: no (cause i never dated anyone (:( )

been cheated on: no

lost someone special: yes

been depressed: yes

gotten drunk and thrown up:  yes (i’m way too underage lmao)

3 FAVORITE COLORS

periwinkle

orchid

vivid orange

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

made new friends: yes

fallen out of love: no

laughed until you cried: too much to count cause easily laugh at anything

found out someone was talking about you: yes

met someone who changed you: yes

found out who your friends are: yes

kissed someone on your Facebook list: no

GENERAL

how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: i only add people i know 

do you have any pets: 1 dog

do you want to change your name: no

what did you do for your last birthday: just celebrated it all by myself (im a lonely goober)

what time did you wake up: between 9 to 11 am

what were you doing at midnight last night: hyperventilating about Wanna One’s debut, talking about the showcon also

name something you can’t wait for: going to germany and exploring other countries in europe also!

when was the last time you saw your mom: like one second ago

what are you listening to right now: energetic by Wanna One (Its on repeat lmao)

have you ever talked to a person named tom: does talking tom from that app counts?

something that is getting on your nerves: i feel guilty that i talk too much to my fellow mutuals

most visited website: tumblr + youtube

hair color: black (but i wish i have really dark blue highlights)

long or short hair: short hair!

do you have a crush on someone: no

what do you like about yourself: i’m pretty quirky 

blood type: i have no idea but i remember its A something

nickname: child

relationship status: single

zodiac: virgo

pronouns: that’s for one to find out one day

favourite tv show: 1n2d and any reality show

tattoos: does henna count? then i got a star pattern in my left upper arm and a libra symbol on the back of my forearm (when i was like 10 lmao)

right or left handed: right handed

surgery: nope

sport: volleyball (i have a uniform and everything), swimming, and badminton!

vacation: EUROPE HERE I COME!

pair of shoes: converse (any kind you call it)

MORE GENERAL

eating:  sweets (but all the wanna one content is keeping me full)

drinking: water (be hydrated kids)

I’m about to: sleep

waiting for: 12 o clock

want: to audition (probably won’t get accepted lol)

get married: yes but once im ready tbh

career: i have no idea tbh 

WHICH IS BETTER

hugs or kisses: hugs (I love the warmth)

lips or eyes: eyes (you can tell everything)

shorter or taller: smaller (i’m pretty tall)

older or younger: older

nice arms or nice stomach: arms (for the hugs)

hook up or relationship: relationship

troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER

kissed a stranger: no

drank hard liquor: yes (im too young, but i stopped dont worry)

lost glasses/contact lenses: never, they’re my life and if i lose it ;-;

turned someone down: no

sex on the first date: no

broken someone’s heart: no

had your heart broken: idk tbh

been arrested: no 

cried when someone died: yes

fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

yourself: depends on the situation

miracles: yes, cause i managed to make many friends on tumblr when i thought i would be the lonely hermit

love at first sight: not at all

santa clause: no

kiss on the first date: no

angels: yes, in the form of my mutuals

OTHER

eye color: dark brown

favourite movie: in a heartbeat 

idk who to tag since alot of people probably had done this but i’ll tag anyway just in case @swoojin @kakaotaeks @wannabl @jeo-jang and anyone else who wants to do this!

[a-libra-writes]

For the Childhood BFF AU with Stannis, we’ve established that he and his BFF have confessed their feelings, are courting, and have planned their marriage by the time the siege rolls around. Assuming she’s there during it, the tension between them no doubt would become suffocating, so is there any chance, any at all, that Stannis would consider premarital sex, especially because A) they were going to marry anyway B) they might die C) they’re in the castle together for, like, a year with little else to do? or would he be too duty-bound and stubborn, even if she really wants to?

Oh this is a very interesting question and one I've thought about 🤔 Also there's a lot of factors here. Forgive any rambling.

So while the tension would be there in the first place, note there's a war going on and Stannis is dealing with a lot - "betraying" his liege to take his brother's side, worrying about the bff (she's stuck here instead of being home) and Renly (just a kid!), getting orders from Robert about what he should do, having to manage the men at the castle, and so on. While the childhood friend would be right the supporting him and helping with the war effort, I think he'd feel lots of guilt over her being there and would keep insisting she sail back home ... though there's likely a point where it becomes unsafe to leave.

Once the siege really sets in, I think he's too occupied with that stress to even consider "we might die" sex just because imho that's not a stress outlet for Stannis. Her emotional support is what helps him through it. I've said before that they basically start acting like a couple here - married or not - via how emotionally intimate they are and how they work together. Everyone figures they're together and assumes they're also physically intimate - if they even have time to worry about such things. She probably can't get away with kisses in private but she can do a lot of holding, and in public she's often very close to him and advising in his councils.

(Also important to note that when starvation sets in, and the desperation and fear and stress of an extended siege... That's kind of a libido and mood killer, lol. After a certain point, even if they wanted to sleep together, they might not even have the physical or mental energy).

((And sorry, another note to that -- even if Stannis was considering it, I think he'd be upset at the idea of their first sexual encounter being in such a dire situation. Like, it wouldn't be romantic at all -- not that he's a romantic, but there would definitely be gloom hanging over them. Like I can see him almost going for it but backing out in a panic))

However!! On the topic of their emotional intimacy. I can def see Stannis trying to keep her at an arm's length for the sake of 'propriety', but as the months go on, neither of them start giving a fuck about that. Especially since she's always been physically affectionate to Stannis, they hold each other because it's some semblance of comfort. When things start getting very bad, like after they eat the dogs and cats and start moving onto rats, and they're both desperately trying to put up a strong front in front of the men and each other ... I think she'd just go right to his room and share a bed with him like they used to as kids. Nothing sexual, they just need that connection and comfort because they're tired, hungry and scared. Remember Stannis was only eighteen when this shit was happening. He protests the first few nights she does it, but then he just stops, because he doesn't have the energy and it's very, very comforting for him too. She starts bringing Renly in, too. The three of them huddle up under blankets because they're cold and starving and exhausted.

Again everyone probably knows they're doing this but I doubt she cares for her 'reputation' as a maiden because she might fucking die of starvation in a week or less, she doesn't care. And Stannis is spending every moment worrying about the supplies and the siege and his brothers and her.

So. When Davos arrives, I think he'd actually assume she's lady of the castle, like Stannis was married at some point and he just didn't hear about it. It's this slip-up that makes Stannis realize how "intimate" they've been and how it could potentially damage her reputation (bc he knows men can do whatever they please and get away with it). And I think in some way, even after all they've been through, he might worry that she wouldn't want to marry him after all??? Like she'd just want to go home and never think about any of this again???

But those last thoughts are kind of fleeting and when he's still half-starved and sleep deprived haha. Once Ned lifts the siege and he's able to leave and the war is over, Stannis goes into "fuck all this shit I'm marrying her" mode. He's so fucking over it by that point. Esp if after all that he's given Dragonstone instead of Storm's End; like fuck it!!! Be selfish for once Stannis!!!

(and also at that point everyone figures they've boinked and now she's ""ruined"" or probably has a bastard somewhere it's like. oy fucking vey).

((bonus points if some idiots who can't do math assume that Edric is the bastard of Stannis and the bff, not Robert and a Florent girl he knocked up on Stannis' wedding day. And rumors that Stannis only married her because she was with child -- esp if she's of a more minor house and other, more powerful houses were annoyed they couldn't wed their daughter to Stannis instead. Yay Westeros!))

Anyway, these are just things I've thought about and will probably be present in Sand & Storms at some point. Obvs yall are free to HC whatever you wish!! Personally I just HC Stannis as someone whose on the ace spectrum and prefers emotional intimacy over physical. I assume yall insert yourselves or OCs into this and their stress response + physical/emotional needs can be different.

[a-queer-kind-of-fear]

rules: copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag people and also tag the person who tagged you.

tagged by: @niwinutisku an eternity ago

tagging: @vitrielle, @florizel-of-bohemia, @theinternetcitizen, @milkchocolateowl, @euryalus 

a - age: Twenty. b - biggest fear: Life. c - current time: 21:33 d - drink you last had: Rhubarb spritzer. e - every day starts with: Moaning loudly and extensively, putting the alarm clock on snooze for about 11 times, moaning some more, checking Tumblr and Telegram and finally getting up (while moaning). f - favorite song: One of my older faves I rediscovered recently is This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) by Talking Heads. g - ghosts, are they real: Being something of a ghost myself, I can only say I’m much more real than I should like to be, yet never quite real enough. h - hometown: A small German town close to the French border. *Puts on hipster glasses* You probably never heard of it... i - in love with: A very complex man and also death. j - jealous of: Homo- and bisexual people, people without a uterus, people with smaller breasts, Kirschen and anyone else who gets to be around a certain Byronic hero more than I do, cats... k - killed someone: Surprisingly, no. l - last time you cried: Don’t remember. Was close two days ago, but it didn’t happen. m - middle name: Who gives a flying fuck? n - number of siblings: One too many. o - one wish: To have my uterus removed. p - person you last called/texted: @niwinutisku q - questions you’re always asked: How I am, what I am doing/want to do with my life, whether I did [x] thing yet... r - reasons to smile: Good wine, the colour of my shampoo, finally sleeping in a clean bed again, my cats, the perfume I bought, the pictures of Oscar and me, my horrible murder consort (and the chance of seeing him again soon), my lovely ass friends, Grenouille/Grantaire, my salary before tax... s - song last sang: Two Coffins by Against Me! t - time you woke up: Around 11, I think. u - underwear color: Black. v - vacation destination: Scotland. w - worst habit: Being too ready to give up. x - x-rays you’ve had: A couple, I guess. Used to have a heart defect which I supposedly grew out of. Then later on, there was something the matter with my lungs. And my spine. Just my personal opinion, but I shouldn’t have survived infancy. y - your favorite food: Italian food. Just drown me in it. z - zodiac sign: Libra.

[psychicmedium14]

THIS Is How To Tell If Someone Is Attracted To You, Based On Their Zodiac Sign…

Attraction is something that happens on an energetic level. It’s rarely just physical. In fact, the strongest forms of attraction happen on a deep subconscious level that you might not even be aware of. Most of the time, attraction is a positive result of a subconscious evaluation for potential compatible partner to spread the genome. This means that if you are attracted to someone, your subconscious mind did the math that the particular individual you are attracted to has the benefiting traits suggesting that your genes are a match and your potential offspring will be healthy. Each of us is attracted to different traits. Some are more common than others, but there are some uniquely personal. Most of us try to be really discrete when it comes to attraction. Or at least we think we are. But there are little signs and behavior clues that reveal how we feel. Each zodiac sign has a unique response to attraction that reveals how they feel. This is how each of the zodiac signs secretly tells that they are attracted to you: Aries (March 21st to April 19th) They will get in touch with you. It’s really easy to see when an Aries is attracted to you. They will find a way to contact you: in person, social media, DM… You shouldn’t have a hard time figuring this out. Taurus (April 20th to May 21st) They will stare at you longer than usual and tease you. They want to spend time with you, as much as possible. Don’t be surprised if a Taurus appears a little possessive over your time, that’s a sure sign for attraction. Gemini (May 22nd to June 21st) They become oddly loud when they laugh around you. They are really good at flirting, so if you start flirting with them don’t be surprised if they seduce you. And yes, a Gemini will most likely stalk you on social media. So your play here is to call them out on this. If they are attracted they’ll flirt back. Cancer (June 22nd to July 22nd) They will ask about you and your health. They might even try to offer you a remedy if something ills you. They want to nurture. A Cancer will get into deep conversations with you until late o’ clock. Their least subtle way of revealing attraction is by being really, REALLY sweet. Leo (July 23rd to August 22nd) They will get extremely generous with you. They will start showing off and you might feel like you are watching a performance. If they embarrass themselves around you, they’ll be deeply shaken. They will shut off or they might even start laughing like maniacs. Virgo (August 23rd to September 22nd) They will do things for you that make your life more practical. They will do ‘little’ errands for you, they’ll remind you of things you might forget, they’ll take care of small details that you don’t focus too much on. But most of all, they’ll remember everything from your interactions. They’ll do all of that as a way to create order in your life. This is a sure sign of attraction. Libra (September 23rd to October 22nd) They will flirt and play hard to get. A Libra is not going to reveal how they feel until they are sure they have a chance. But this too is a revealing behavior. Once you see that a Libra is flirtatious and suddenly cools off, that’s your clue. Flirt back and make them sure they have a chance. Of course, if you like them. Scorpio (October 23rd to November 22nd) They will get really deep. They would want to know all there is to know about you. You might feel like you are getting interrogated. But this is because they are really curious about you. Their emotions are known to be highly intense, so a Scorpio might act suddenly detached intentionally, to cool their emotions back in order. Sagittarius (November 23rd to December 21st) They will be open about how they feel. They’ll let you know. No matter where you are, or even if you are not available, they will be honest about their feelings. If they move out of their own way to spend time with you, that’s a sure sign of their attraction. Capricorn (December 22nd to January 20th) They will start acting really loose around you. A Capricorn is known for their formal behavior, but once they are attracted to someone, they act like the most easy going person in the world around them. They might even brag about famous people they know, or important places they’ve been to. They want to impress you by being relaxed while appearing really important. Aquarius (January 21st to February 18th) They will talk to you longer than usual. They want to see how you think and what you want to talk about. They will treat you as a friend, but don’t let this discourage you. If they speak to you longer than they speak to others, they are most likely REALLY attracted to you. Pisces (February 19th to March 20th) They will stare directly at your eyes. They might not even listen to what you talk about. In fact, if they like you, you’ll most likely know before they do. This is probably the most easily read zodiac sign when it comes to reading attraction.

[rocknrollpanda]

I was tagged by @it-doesnt-make-a-difference thanks, and it seems like a fun thing to do ;).

A - Age:

20

B - Biggest fear:

For one needles. I have no piercings or tattoos exactly because I am ridiculously scared of my skin being broken. I’m not really sure why even the thought distresses me so much, maybe it’s the pain, but more likely it’s the mental image of something going wrong and having flesh torn by it like in some D class horror movie.

And the second one are fish. As stupid as it is, the sight, smell or anything fish related too close to my body sends me into some mix of panic and disgust. Hell if I know why.

C - Current Time:

7:20 P.M.

D - Drink you last had:

Sparkling water

E - Every day starts with:

My alarm clock going off at 6 a.m. and me trying to convince myself it’s worth it to get up.

F - Favorite song:

Bon Jovi - It’s My Life. First rock song I’ve ever heard, by my first favorite rock band. I have a huge sentiment for it.

G - Ghosts, are they real:

Yes, because I believe human mind can linger on even after the body dies.

I - In love with:

Finnish rock ;D <3

K - Killed someone:

Not that crazy just yet.

L - Last time you cried:

As I’m writing this. I’m listening to Toni Braxton ‘Un-break My Heart’ and if that songs doesn’t make you cry you are made out of stone.

M - Middle name:

Karolina.

N - Number of siblings:

I’m an only child.

O - One wish:

To fucking figure out what I want to do with my life (and now I feel like listening to Twisted Sister. Well that went from serious to a joke really quickly).

P - Person you last called/texted:

I called for a taxi to take me and @it-doesnt-make-a-difference from a party, and I last texted @it-doesnt-make-a-difference.

Q - Questions you are always asked:

'But do you think you’re the only one to go through that?’ by my parents when I say that anatomy classes in dissecting-room are too much for me, and I’m not sure if I can handle them without having a breakdown.

R - Reasons to smile:

Temple Balls (awesome Finnish rock band similar to Shiraz and Santa) just put out two singles 🎉🎉🎉🎉 <:o)! And their first album comes out in a month!

S - Song last sang:

Toni Braxton ‘Un-Break My Heart’ seriously I dare you to listen to it and not cry.

T - Time you woke up:

12:30 in the afternoon B-). It’s because of the party yesterday!

U - Underwear color:

Red.

V - Vacation destination:

Dream one is Helsinki.

W - Worst habit:

Talking back to people. It seems I’m incapable of recognising authority. I’m also not really sure if it’s a good sign that every time I do it I feel proud of myself. Go figure ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ .

X - X-Rays you’ve had:

My arm after I was in a car accident all those years ago. My abdomen when I was in hospital last year and my chest when I was applying to med school (why do they require their students to do X-Rays of their lungs is still a mystery to me).

Y - Your favorite food:

Recently chicken. In any form and shape ;D.

Z - Zodiac sign:

Libra.

And I’m gonna tag @bonafiderocketqueen and @betheslaveorbethechange ;D. I hope you’ll have fun with it.