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ponderingmoonlight · 7 months ago

Note

Hi! I just love your levi fics so much!

For a request I was hoping for something like this -

Levi & reader had grown up together along with Isabel and farlan, when the group gets sent off onto their fateful mission levi thinks reader died alongside with Isabel and farlan. (Angst)

Only to discover years later that reader was alive and actually doing very well for themselves, well known and a strong fighter. Just a very cute reunion fic maybe? Maybe romance 👀 thanks! <3

🦅- Anon

this was an emotional rollercoaster I'm still crying babe but here you go, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do <3

Levi thinking he lost his sun forever only to find you again after years

Pairing: Levi x fem! reader

Word Count: 3,3k

Synopsis: It's been 1869 days since you were killed by the abnormal titan Isabel and Farlan lost their lives to as well, 1869 days of missing you and regretting that Levi didn't tell you about his true feelings when you were still alive. Little does he know you aren't so easy to get rid of and that you are still out there...

Warnings: death, blood, war scene, depression, full on hurt to comfort, super duper fluff in the end, as usual not proofread because I need to go to bed now hehe

Notes: Finally my first Levi fic after literally MONTHS! I know a lot of you were patiently waiting for more attack on titan content and I'm beyond sorry it took me so long babes. Please let me know how you feel about Attack on Titan content so that I might do more and especially regular fics in the future <3

He can’t take his eyes off you. To be exact, the sunlight suits your facial features so well that it seems impossible to ever let go of your sight.

You have been friends since he met you on that day exactly 6 years ago, when you tried to steal a load of food for a heavy pregnant woman. Since then, he was captivated by your beauty, your brain, your skills. But somehow, this makes the stinging fact that you sit beside him even worse.

“You shouldn’t be here, (y/n)”, he speaks out before he’s able to stop himself.

Immediately, your gaze drifts away from the dreamy scenery to him, eyes widen in surprise.

“What are you talking about, Levi?”

Don’t say his name while looking at him like that, not with that gentle tone in your angelic voice. He told himself over and over that you are nothing but a close friend, maybe considered family like Isabel and Farlan.

He huffs to himself. What a filthy little lie.

“This mission is dangerous. I don’t want you to get-“

“Hurt? Killed? You told me about all those things more than once and I’m happy to repeat myself again for you: I will not leave you, Farlan’s and Isabel’s side. After all, we are friends, right? And friends don’t leave each other behind.”

You gift him with your usual breath-taking smile while his heart skips a beat.

A friend.

He has to remind himself over and over again, force his orbs away from you. You are nothing but friends. And he will never risk to lose you over the potential of something more.

-the evening before the mission-

“I thought I’d find you here”, your teasing voice shouts from behind.

You are probably the last thing he wants to see this evening. Not because he doesn’t enjoy your company, but because he wasn’t able to convince you to stay in safety. Erwin Smith made it very clear that this mission is dangerous, that multiple survey corps member already died behind those walls. And even though you, Farlan and Isabel showed your skills countless times before, he can’t stop his train of thought. You, getting grabbed by a titan. You, getting ripped apart, your blood scattering onto the ground. He won’t have the chance to stay by your side during all times. One wrong movement, one thoughtless decision and you’d be gone.

“I don’t even have to ask in order to know what you’re thinking about right now, Levi.”

The second your hand brushes over his shoulder, he is too lost in the feeling of your bare hand against his shirt to worry any further.

“You don’t have to worry about Farlan, Isabel and me. After all, you’re the one who taught us everything we know.”

“Tsk. You were already doing fine when I met you.”

“But you were the one who showed me there is still hope, something worth fighting for. If it wasn’t for you, I would have died down there without ever seeing the sun once in my life”, you reply.

All of the sudden you place your hand on top of his and squeeze in gently. That look on your face, is it…Affection? He shakes his head firmly, doesn’t allow himself to get lost in that oh so sweet idea. A woman like you will never fall for a cold-hearted man like him, not when the whole squad fell head over heels for you the second they got to know you better. You are a true sweetheart, everyone’s favorite, a ray of sunshine. He, on the other hand, is none of that.

“Stop praising me or else I’ll puke and make a mess onto the freshly cleaned floor.”

No, he doesn’t deserve your kind word, doesn’t even deserve that spark in your eyes. You are better off without him, even as a friend.

“You’ll gonna clean it up anyway”, you bite back with a wide grin.

“Actually, there is something else I want to talk with you about, Levi.”

The sudden change in your voice paired with the warmth of your hand leaving his lets his gaze wander to yours again – only to catch you already staring.

“What is it?”, he questions instantly.

“If you have to decide between Isabel, Farlan and me…Just promise that you’ll safe them before even thinking about my ass. Please look after them and don’t worry about me.”

His eyes widen just the tiniest bit, reveal his surprise and…his resist. Not thinking about you, leaving you behind? The urge to shake you becomes almost unbearable when he grabs your arms passionately, gaze locking with yours.

“There is no way in hell I will ever leave you behind, dumbass. Don’t you dare to die on me, got it?”

“Promise”, you urge.

“Promise you’ll look out for them first.”

“(y/n)…”

He has to close his eyes in order to stop staring at your perfect lips. This might be the last time he ever sees you alive so unbothered by his side, the last time he witnesses the way the dim moonlight lights up your hair.

This…might be your last night alive.

“Please, I can’t live with the thought of being without them. They are still so young.”

“What about you, though? What if I don’t want to live a life without you? What if I die myself?”

You smile at him sadly, your hand caressing his cheek oh so gently.

“We all know you won’t die out there, Levi. It’s us who might not be here with you tomorrow. After all, that’s why you wanted to stop us from coming with you, right?”

He swallows hard. Every single one of you is a skilled fighter. Hell, you even survived the underground with countless enemies chasing after you. But this? This is something completely different. For the first time since getting to know all of you, Levi isn’t so sure about your abilities anymore.

“I promise”, he replies with low voice.

“Thank you”, you breathe out.

“Now, let’s get some sleep, shall we? We have a big fight ahead of us.”

Oh, there is no doubt in the fact that Levi won’t close his eyes this whole cursed night, pondering about a way to safe all of you. But even though you are very aware of that, you turn on your heel and smile at him one last time.

The brightest smile of them all, making your face gleam in nothing but affection.

“Oh, and Levi?”

“What is it, dumbass?”

“When I was talking about the sun earlier…That sun was you.”

And then you’re gone in the dark, leaving him with his heart almost beating out of his chest and feelings clustered all over the place.

Him, your sun?

-the battle-

Your eyes widen in sheer horror, the violent scream escaping your lips not reaching your ringing ears. Those powerful orbs…There is no doubt in the fact that this is her, that this is Isabel. Tears stream down your face uncontrollably, mix with the bitter coat of rain that sticks to your face uncomfortably.

Your friend is dead. And you were not able to protect her.

“You.”

The monster standing in front of you doesn’t look like the other titans you’ve seen before. Eyes red like crimson, lips curved into an evil grin. This thing is absolutely aware of the agony it causes you and enjoys every tear you cry.

You grab your blades even tighter, narrow eyes fixating its nape.

“I will make you suffer”, you press out through gritted teeth.

“I will make you regret that you even touched her!”

You dash forward only to get greeted by thin air. Fuck, this thing is so fast you didn’t even realize it was gone until your blade crashed into the muddy ground. Why do your hands suddenly start shaking, your knees felling weak? It’s just you and that thing. The other corps members around you? Scuttered onto the floor in bloody pieces.

Levi?

You escape its clutches by a hair’s breadth, the monster’s stinging smell of death and rotten flesh making your guts turn. You need to focus, need to control your fear and anger. Otherwise, you’ll die just like all the others did.

Levi…Is he dead as well? There is no one around, no one showed a single reaction to your multiple cries for help, your signs. Maybe you’re the only one who’s left. Which means that Farlan and Levi are gone.

Levi, gone? Fuck, you should have told him about your true feelings yesterday, you should have pressed your lips against his like you always dreamed about. This was the last opportunity to tell him how much you love him before both of you die.

And now it will be forever too late.

Just when you’re about to dash forward, the arm of the titan yanks towards you with breath-taking speed. Your eyes widen in sheer horror as all you can do is stare in sheer disbelief.

Is this how you will die? Through the hand of an abnormal titan, eating you alive?

You always dreamed of a life on the surface with Levi by your side. Maybe a small cottage on the edge of a busy city close to a river. Having a little farm with a few animals here and there, Levi working for a local business while you stay home and care for your home. For a brief moment, you allow your eyes to rest, to get lost in the life you will never have.

If only you had told him sooner. Maybe then it would have been different. Maybe then you wouldn’t feel your bones crack against the sheer force of the titan’s flat palm, throwing you into the air like a ball.

As soon as your body hits the ground, everything goes black.

-5 years later-

He opens his eyes against the way too harsh sunlight. Another night he hasn’t slept more than 2 hours. Day 1869 of missing you.

“Good morning, Captain Levi!”

He doesn’t even care to reply, feet carrying him down the hallway monotone. His days have always been the same since the day he lost Isabel, Farlan and you: Getting haunted in his sleep, waking up alone, surviving another day in this living hell. It’s almost ironic, how he already hated the world when you were in it. Little did he know how much worse it would get when you’re gone.

There is no day since back then that doesn’t revolve around you. You, with your hair down in the sun. You, beating up some tuff guys and showing them their place. You, that fucking cursed night before you had to leave.

Until this day, he hates himself for not being there. By the time he arrived, everyone was dead, brutally murdered by an abnormal titan. And even after searching for your corpse for hours in the pouring rain, he didn’t even manage to find a single limb left of you. This should be a good sign. After all, it might mean that you somehow managed to survive.

“The chances of (y/n) surviving and managing to flee on her own are 1 against 500.000”, Erwin said back then.

Maybe it would have actually felt better, knowing that you’re dead. Maybe this would spare him from getting haunted by your giggling and fucking gorgeous face each and every night.

But…If getting haunted by your presence is all he has left, he shouldn’t complain about it.

“We are heading out today. It is said that there are countless abnormal titans roaming around a city nearby”, Erwin explains briefly.

“How the fuck did these things even manage to get in there?”, Levi grumbles in response while taking a sip of his way too hot tea.

“That’s not what I care about. What I’m more interested in is the fact that a group of villagers managed to trap one of them.”

Levi can’t help but put his cup of tea down while Hange bursts out in sheer excitement next to him. A group of villagers, trapping an abnormal titan?

“Former corps members?”, he questions.

“Apparently not. Maybe they are interested in a new job”, Erwin replies, getting up from his seat and straightening his uniform.

“We are leaving right now.”

“Right now? Over some brats who were lucky to not get eaten by that titan?”

“You can’t deny that these ‘brats’ have to be skilled in order to trap an abnormal titan, Levi. Also, I heard the head of them is a woman.”

Levi huffs to himself. Skilled, huh? Lucky is definitely the better fit.

You sink your blade straight into the eye of the disgusting creature lying in front of you, watch in sheer satisfaction how it squeals underneath.

“Hope you enjoy that as much as I do”, you mumble, twisting and turning your sword painfully slow.

“(y/n), d-don’t you think that’s enough? What if it escapes?”, the man next to you cries out, holding safe distance between himself and the abnormal.

“So what? Listen, you little shit. If you even try to escape, I will kill you without even blinking, got it?”

You rip your blade out. In, out, in, out until everything around you is covered in crimson.

Just like back then.

You stumble back when a wave of nausea hits you. The sight of Isabel’s lifeless head, her limbs scattered across the muddy floor. Back then, you weren’t able to save her, weren’t even able to save yourself. If it wasn’t for your crew, you’d be dead by now. Just like her…

“Hey.”

“How about you take a break for a sec? You’re drifting off again.”

Her gently voice pulls you out of your nightmare just like her tender touch. Petra has been the greatest support since that fateful day. In fact, the only reason you are still alive is her. When she found you, you were already on the brink of death. Only due to her passionate and long-term care, you learned how to walk again, learned how to fight again.

“Sorry”, you mumble, allowing yourself to rest for a moment against her strong shoulder.

“(y/n), I’m sorry to interrupt you like this but…We spotted members of the survey corps?”

“The survey corps?”, you repeat in sheer disbelief.

Rage starts flooding your veins in an instant, forcing you to pick up your blade again. If there’s one thing you will never forgive the survey corps for, it’s the fact that they left you standing in the rain. The countless people who died with the wings of faith embroidered onto their jackets, eaten alive by a titan while your desperate cries for help remained unanswered until this day. For Erwin Smith, you were nothing but canon fodder, nothing but a bait. And you will forever hate him over the fact that he is partly responsible for the death of Isabel, Farlan and Levi.

You storm in the direction your scout sighted them, jumping from tree to tree in order to catch them by surprise. You will definitely not tolerate survey corps members around your area, especially when you just caught an abnormal titan to study and torture.

“There they are.”

Their disgusting green cloaks fill you with thick anger, almost force you onto the ground to knock every single one of them out. But you know all too well this isn’t the way to go. No, you will wait here until the right time comes to throw yourself at their captain.

There are five of them, walking towards the direction of your village. Just wait a few more seconds until the one who walks ahead is underneath you, one second and you…

You lunge yourself at the person with full speed, forcing them to the ground. Him, to be exact. That firm chest exposes all too urgently that you just attacked a man.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind, brat?”, he barks at you, rough hands grabbing your wrists so tightly that your bones threaten to shatter.

You aren’t able to defend yourself, though.

That voice, the way he called you brat.

Is it really possible that…

You allow your eyes to look up at him and for a moment, time seems to stand still.

“Levi.”

You breathe his name out like a prayer, as if your dream might become reality. These grey and unbothered eyes look just like you remember his, the dark hair framing his face oh so perfectly.

“Levi, is that you?”

He can’t comprehend his feelings. Just a second ago, he was under attack of a stranger. But your eyes aren’t foreign. They hold the spark he dreams of each and every night, the memory he cares about so deeply. Is it really possible, that…

“(y/n).”

Everyone was so sure that you died on the battlefield, that the titan must have eaten you alive without leaving any remains. But maybe there was nothing to remain. Maybe you actually did manage to survive. Is it possible? Is this really you?

“I thought you died.”

Your voice is nothing but a fade away whisper, tears streaming down your usual so composed face like rivers when your memories begin to crash down on you like a house of cards. All those years, you were convinced Levi lost his life on this battlefield as well, that you were the only one remaining. But now you’re sitting on top of him, taking in his clean scent while he glares at you the way he used to.

“Everyone tried to convince me that that fucking abnormal ate you back then, that there is no chance you survived. Now look at you, dumbass”, he breathes out, very own eyes now coated in a thin layer of glimmering tears.

There is no time to waste. With a swift motion, you lunge yourself at him again, wrap your arms around his strong torso as if your life depends on it while resting your head against his chest and crying your heart out.

Words will always fail to express how much you missed him, that you thought about him each and every night since the day he was taken away from you so roughly. But now, you will never let him go again. Now you won’t waste another opportunity to tell him how you really feel.

“I love you, Levi. I loved you since our days in the underground city, I loved you through all these horrible years of grief. I love you. I love you”, you finally blurt out.

“I love you too, (y/n). I always did.”

Gently, he rests his hand against your nape while lifting your chin up with the other.

The second your lips meet, your world feels complete for the first time. All the pain, the grief, the things you had to endure. The countless nights of imagining him right by your side, the thought of never seeing him again. And now he’s here, right in your arms while kissing you so passionately that you fail to breathe.

“I love you”, he repeats so softly that your heart melts away like butter.

“I love you…”

“I finally found my sun again”, you smile against his lips.

You snuggle yourself onto him even tighter, your grip around his torso firm. Oh, you will definitely never let this man go again. Not after it took both of you so many years to meet again, not when he’s all you ever wanted.

Levi Ackerman, the love of your life.

“Who’s that woman throwing herself at you from a tree and then getting a smooch from you?”

“Shut up, shitty four-eyes”, Levi barks at the person standing behind him.

Tags:

@hellkaiserinphoenix @chilichopsticks @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld

@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain (hope you noticed I actually named reader's bestie after you babe) @polarbvnny @kentocalls @kayleegomez

First divider by wonderful @cafekitsune - check out the banner I used here!

Second one as usual from the best @saradika-graphics - I worship the ground you walk on honey

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marofdawn · 3 months ago

Note

IOL is literally the best levi fanfiction i’ve ever read by far and im always searching for others that are as well written. was wondering, what are your favourites?

Thank you so much! It means so much to hear that, seriously :’). I never thought people would like my fic this much. It has really helped me become more confident with my writing.

I’ll name a few of my fav Levi fics; although, I’m sure most of these have been recommended thousands of times already 😅. They’re just that good. Also, I actually haven’t read too many Levi x reader fanfics, so this list might be small. I’d love to hear suggestions from others too :).

Content Warning: all of these fics include 18+ content

To Sing a Song Of Steel by CaptainDegenerate - I absolutely love the plot and worldbuilding in this story. I was not expecting the plot twist either. You can tell everything was planned out so meticulously. Also, the ending may or may not have made me ball my eyes out 😃. Very heartbreaking story, but I love the angst 💔. I’m currently reading Of Tea and High Buildings from this author too and I like it so far!

As the Spark Dies by wellitcouldbeworse3 - gosh this one absolutely broke me LMAO, like I was genuinely inconsolable for a whole week… it was so gut wrenching. I’m a sucker for zombie stories though, what can I say? I honestly thought the way this story was planned out was genius. The foreshadowing was done so well and the reader’s nickname was so cute and fitting. I don’t think a fanfic ever made me cry this hard before lmaooo. I just love angst, as you can see. Other fics I love from this author are The Feeling’s Mutual and Spite.

Death’s Door by SongsOfApollo - this is a fanfic I will wait patiently for. I don’t care if I’m old and in my 70s - as soon as I see that AO3 email notification, I’m jumping right in. Seriously though, this was my first Levi fanfic and probably my favorite characterization of him in any story I’ve read. I feel like this author’s Levi is the most accurate one I’ve read and that’s what made me obsessed with it. Also, the reader is a medic and you can just TELL the author has some experience in that field or has done a ton of research on it because it is just so well written.

Honorable Mentions (aka, fics I haven’t started yet but would like to when I have more time):

- Dust, Diamonds by maokitty

- we all bleed red by littlerequiem

- Percolate by heichoe

If anyone else has recommendations, please let me know! :)

#Levi x reader #Levi Ackerman #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman x reader #attack on titan #fic recs

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gojos-fr-bae · 8 months ago

Text

Stay

Pairing: Levi x fem!reader

Warnings: Angst...Death, mentions of war. Cussing, shouting, crying

Word Count: 649 (AAAHHH, It's short)

A/N: Two in one day AGAIN, damnnn

(Requests open)

You hated fights with Levi, especially before expeditions. You two loved each other deeply however just like in any relationship, you had your good days and bad days and boy were your bad days BAD.

And today was one of those days.

“WHY CAN’T I GO, IM A FUCKING CAPTAIN JUST LIKE YOU LEVI!” YOU YELLED

“BECAUSE UNLIKE ME, YOU ARE COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT AND IF YOU GO OUT THERE YOU WILL DO NOTHING BUT TAKE UP SPACE AND CAUSE EVERYONE ISSUES!!” He yelled just as loud

“LEVI I AM DAMN FUCKING GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU KNOW IT!”

“The only thing you are is delusional and you know it. So please, stop being a headache and listen for once.” He said in a chilling low tone.

He didn’t actually think that you couldn’t handle it, if anything, you were more skilled than any other member of the army. But that’s when It’s Titans. The war you were going to fight was against humans and they were unpredictable. He was just worried about you. If anything were to happen to you, it would ruin him. He just didn’t have the best way of communicating that.

“Well fuck that Levi. I’m a grown woman and I can do whatever I want, and I’m not going to sit here at home while people are going to be out there fighting for their lives and that’s final!” You walked out and slammed the door behind you and that was that.

***

He knew he shouldn’t have let you come. He knew he should have made you stay but you just wouldn't listen.

He was using his 3DMG to get to the medics tent as fast as he could. You were okay. Oh gosh you are going to be okay. He can’t lose you. He needs you. You’re his everything and he wouldn’t be able to survive without you.

Running through the tent flaps. His blood ran cold as he looked down at you in your bed with a bullet wound right in the center of your chest.

He knelt right next to your bed and held your cold palm on his own. Gosh, you felt so cold. Too cold.

“Darling, hey, hey, I’m right here. Look at me, look at me.” He said frantically, trying to grab your attention.

You slowly turned your head to face him, Smiling softly at him when your eyes met.

“Hey sweety.”you responded, although your voice is extremely soft as you’ve run out of energy.

“Hi, look, everything’s going to be okay, just stay with me, you’re going to be okay, I promise.”

“Levi, I’m sorry, I should’ve listened” you said sadly, a stray tear running down your cheek.

“No, no, no, please don’t be sorry, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Remember to take care of yourself.” You said, voice fading slowly

“Y/N please-” he responded, voice breaking ever so slightly as he placed one palm against your cheek, brushing away your tears. Gosh, you were bleeding so much…too much.

“And don’t overwork yourself”

“My love please, don’t do this to me.”

“And you dare, ever, forget that I love you.”

“Also, remember that I just want you to be happy, okay.?” “Y-Y/N I’m begging you-”

“And you dare, ever, forget that I love you.” You said, and then your chest stopped rising and your body went limp.

“Y/N, Y/N please, wake up. Darling, wake up. Don’t go, please please please don’t go. My love, don’t do this to me. I can’t live without you, please. Please.”

He was trembling as tears streamed down his face. You were gone. No matter how much he denied it or how much he prayed to all that was good and just, You are gone. You are gone and there was nothing he could do to change that.

He didn’t even get to tell you he loved you.

@porridgesblog , @giannitaa , @c0pkiller , @havens-not-here, @starlightanyaaa

I Always mix up liar tags and normal tags, sry if that's the case rn.

#attack on titan levi #levi ackerman #levi aot #captain levi #aot levi #levi x reader #levi angst #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman x female reader #shingeki no kyojin #aot #attack on titan #snk #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader

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pinkeoni · 1 year ago

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The Perception of Will Both In & Out of the Show

Right now I'm working on a whole post dedicated to looking at how Hawkins views Will, and something that I've noticed is how this in-universe perception is reflective of how the audience views him as a character.

Will the Crybaby vs. Will the Villain

tl;dr for a post I haven't even posted yet, but my assertion is that generally the town has two modes for how they see Will, prey or predator. He's either the sensitive, weak "fairy" who is assumed to be the target of violence based on these qualities, or he is the predatory "Zombie Boy" who is going to spread death and disease to the rest of the town.

Many of the critiques levied against Will's character from fans after season four was "all he does is cry!"

And in the same breath, after it was revealed that Will was going to be the focus for next season, the claim about Will's character was "he's going to be the villain!"

So Will is both the overly sensitive crybaby and at the same time, somehow going to be the villain of the final season.

I do think that GA opinion is actually more diversified then people give it credit for, so it would be inaccurate of me to say that this is widely agreed upon amongst fans of the show, although both of these statements, especially that of Will’s villain arc, did go around enough to be mentioned in articles about the season.

Starting with Will's sensitivity, it is one of his character traits. It's important enough for Joyce to mention this when describing him in episode one. Noah often gives Will really big reactions with weepy eyes and a quivering lip— he's a feeler!

Some push back against this critique of character, especially on here, was sometimes met with “But Will doesn’t cry that much! He’s tough! Look at this scene he knows how to shoot a gun!” which is kind of missing the point. It’s not that Will isn’t soft and sensitive, it’s that being soft and sensitive isn’t a problem.

The villain!Will claim, while maybe a fun idea for fanon material, seems to grossly mischaracterize him. Will, from the constant mistreatment he has faced, will turn vengeful and join Vecna to become a villain alongside him. You mean the same Will Byers who told D’Artagnan that he wasn’t going to hurt him? That Will Byers is going to seek revenge?

I don’t think that any of these takes are intentionally trying to be this way, but there is a subconscious undertone of homophobia coming from both of them. It’s a bad thing for Will to be soft and emotional, but he’s also going to become the vindictive “big bad.” The prey or the predator.

There seems to be a refusal from some fans to view Will in a hero role

This I can’t really fault them much for. I had a good back and forth with an anon awhile ago who stated that if the audience does not perceive the story as being Will's or Will as a main character, then this is a pitfall from the show. Which I agreed with. If the show is failing to communicate something, then this is a fault of the writing of the show. (I did, however, offer a counter argument to a claim they made saying that the show did not offer any substantial proof of this at all, in which I said that Will being the center in the first season was a good piece of evidence among some others)

I should note that I say "hero" but I don't mean this in a masculine way, just that Will is going to be the one to save the day, be that in his own way. He doesn't need to "man up" in order to be the hero.

El, for good reason, is seen as the hero of the story. If the next season is supposed to revolve around Will now, then he must either be A) A victim that El needs to save or B) A villain that El needs to defeat. (I made a post about El and Will's roles next season here)

This isn't always brought up, but a lot of the times the love triangle is talked about in relation to this because it goes along with the underlying homophobia. If Will is the focus next season and he is also the hero then there's an implication that he may be successful in "getting the guy" so to speak, just going off of typical narrative tropes. If El is the hero and Will is either the victim or villain then he either A) is saved by El and, out of gratefulness to her, is able to accept that that he won't have Mike and is able to accept the two being together (which wouldn't make sense considering this is the position he is already in) or B) El defeats the evil gay boy who is after her man, putting him in his place. These people can't seem to wrap their head around the possibility of Will getting the love interest in the end and El, still important to the main plot, ending up solo and it being a positive for both characters.

The problem with villain!Will especially is that, along with the fact that it relies on a mischaracterization of Will, is that there has to come a point where the villain has to lose and be put in their place in order for the hero to succeed. I see even fans of Will claiming that they want Will to have a villain arc because of everything that he's gone through. And yeah, Will has been through a lot and he has been treated unfairly by people around him, but he can't have a triumphant ending if he is the villain of the story.

I guess it has to do with framing. In simplified terms, Will, in some way, tries to fight for a better life for himself. If Will is the villain then he must learn to be complacent with the life he already has. If he is the hero, however, then he deserves and gets to earn this better life. If Will is the victim who is saved by El then he must learn to be grateful to her. Neither make sense for a story where Will is supposed to come of age. He has to be the hero and he also has to be one to save himself.

I want to say again that I'm not trying to use hero in a masculine sense, wherein I'm picturing a Conan the Barbarian or Rambo-esque buff!byers fighting in the Upside Down, but rather I just mean using his qualities that others deem weak as his strength. Will is the hero, just in his own way. @therainscene had a really great addition to a similar post I made while I was drafting this one. To quote a genius mind—

It's wild that Will is seen as weak, because he's the toughest motherfucker in the show -- not in spite of being soft and sensitive, but because of it. Being a sensitive gay boy in 1980's America is playing life on hard mode: he's punished for refusing to conform to traditional masculinity, both in-universe and by the audience, and his response is to doggedly continue refusing to conform. He's crying and throwing up the whole time he's doing it but he just keeps on doing it.

#sorry this is such a long one without pictures this time i just felt like rambling #will byers #stranger things #robin rambles

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justauthoring · 1 year ago

Text

the bond - chapter fourteen.

*bond: a relationship between people or groups based on shared feelings, interests, or experiences.

word count: 5909

based off of: 3x08, 3x09, & 3x10

a/n: ummm so kenny? pt. 2?

tag list: @ernyaeger - @luvelyxp - @urfictional - @decaffeinatedtealover - @ange-lica-3 - @midzuumi - @leiriswhore - @urfictional - @frasheliza - @echothy - @usernamehere91 - @happygirl5798 - @dwarfnip - @hegdus - @cheoriemoawa - @snapdragon-atelier - @fckwritersblock let me know if you’d like to be added!

You stare at the collapsing cavern in front of you, back pressing into the wall behind you because of the force of wind being smacked in your direction. It feels like it’s slapping you, forcing you back as your eyes shift across the cavern, trying to find some sort of escape room.

You can’t see anything.

Not anything that’ll help you escape at least.

To your side, Historia presses against you, and you let out a huff of frustration at the situation.

“We need to figure out something,” you cry, staring at the pieces of falling debris; “or else we’re gonna get crushed under the rumble.”

No one says anything because there are no solutions–not any viable ones at least. No one says anything because they can’t argue against your words either. You might’ve been able to rescue Eren and Historia, but that still didn’t help with the actual escaping part now that Rod Reiss had transformed and there was still the threat of Kenny’s men.

Kenny…

Had he made it out okay?

Did you care?

You weren’t sure.

A sob pulls you from your thoughts, brows furrowing as you glance down at Eren who’s slumped against the wall, noticing the tears streaming down his face.

“I’m sorry, everyone,” he sobs pathetically, hands left hanging by his sides uselessly. “I’ve been nothing but useless… ever since the very beginning, I was never the hope of humanity…”

No one says anything. A second later, something catches Eren’s eyes.

“Armor?”

“What’s this?” Jean speaks up, your eyes flickering to him as he smirks down at Eren. “Think you’re some tragic hero? When have you ever accomplished anything by your strength alone?”

Connie is quick to follow his lead; “what a weakling,” he jests, “we’ve been through worse than this.”

“Far worse,” you pipe up, pulling Eren’s gaze on you as you meet his, smiling down at him. “I’d say, at least.”

“Not that I wanna get used to it!” Sasha adds and you let out a light laugh at that.

“Still,” Connie mumbles, glancing ahead; “it’s going to suck trying to navigate through all that.”

Following the direction of his gaze, you scoff; “you’re telling me.”

“I’ll take Eren,” Mikasa calls from over your shoulder.

Jean then leans towards Historia, frowning; “we can’t go nice and slow for you, so hold on for your life.”

A moment later, she’s nodding.

“It’s useless,” Eren mumbles, staring at you like you’ve all gone insane. “We can’t escape.”

“So do nothing?” Historia argues, glaring down at him. “You wanna sit here and hold hands til we’re crushed or burned to death? Because we’re enemies of humanity?”

Eren’s eyes widen.

“You know,” Levi speaks up, voice low. “I hate doing this to you every time, but… Eren. you’ve gotta make the choice.”

You’re not sure what it means, but it seems to be enough for Eren. The look of surprise on his face fades as his gaze hardens and determination floods his gaze. With a blink of the eye, he’s standing up, grabbing the armor vial you’d brought with you and lunging forward, right in the direction of Rod Reiss.

“Eren!” Mikasa cries, reaching out for him but he’s already too far gone.

In the next second there’s a bright light that blinds you, your hands falling in front of your gaze as you lean back, trying to squint through. As the fog fades and lessens, you see it–it’s the Attack Titan! And not some frail or broken version of Eren’s Titan, he’s completely transformed and there’s that hardening stuff that had swarmed you all seconds ago coming out of him, spreading around the entirety of the cavern in long vines.

“What the…”

“Everyone!” Levi bellows, “get underneath Eren!”

No one hesitates, and moving so you’re directly standing underneath Eren, you watch as the vines he sends out protects you from the pieces of debris falling around you all. It creates a wall, and as the entire chapel breaks and falls apart over top of you, none of you get hit.

Trying to peer through the smoke surrounding you, your eyes widen.

“Guys!” You scream, pointing ahead of yourself, “Eren! He’s hardening too!”

Your eyes meet Mikasa and with a gasp, she lunges forward, Jean following her as they’re the two closest. They use their ODM gear to reach his nape, using the handles of their blades to break him out.

Once he’s completely out, Jean and Mikasa help lower him down.

“This is what I call hardening,” Levi calls, staring at the hardened Attack Titan Eren had left behind, completely intact. “Even after cutting you away, the Titan hasn’t disappeared. Pretty impressive, yeah?”

Eren just stares, as if in disbelief himself, before he blinks; “oh, yeah! Right before I turned into a Titan, I drank that “Armor” bottle…”

“Yeah,” Levi nods, stepping towards him. “You couldn’t do it at all before now, but you used the hardening power. And saved all of us. In the blink of an eye, you devised and built all this. Yeah, the construction looks shoddy, but… I bet that’s how the walls were made, too. In other words…”

Your eyes widen, shoulders tensing.

“It’s possible for us to plug that hole in Wall Maria now.”

You could… you could go back home…

“A lot of enemies and allies have died on the way,” Levi explains, “and getting this far hasn’t been pretty. But for as ugly as it’s been, look at the position we’re in now.”

Biting your lip, you glance up, eyes widening when you see Jean’s eyes on you. It’s like he’d been watching you the entire time, gauging your reaction and it makes your heart flutter at the action – he’d been the only one you’d really expressed just how much plugging that hole in Maria meant. How much going back meant to you.

And even in the midst of everything, it seemed you’d been his first thought.

Your lips part, but then–

“Captain!”

You turn at the sound of Sasha’s voice, watching as Connie and Sasha make their way back down the rope they’d used to climb out.

“We’ve secured an exit!” Sasha explains, landing on her feet before turning to make her way over to you all, Connie behind her.

“Armin’s okay.” Connie assures, “Hange and Moblit too.”

“Well done,” Levi nods back at them.

“Eren,” Sasha calls, racing towards him.

“You okay?” Eren asks in return, leaning in the direction of her.

All of sudden, Sasha falls to her knees in front of Eren, pressing her forehead to the floor; “we’re all safe, thanks to you!” You smile at that, shaking your head at her antics.

“But to be perfectly honest, when you ran off prancing while crying like a baby… I thought we were doomed!”

Shaking your head, you step forward.

“Sasha,” you call out, frowning lightly.

“‘It’s over, over!’” She continues, simply ignoring you, “‘Get it together, nincompoop! Quit bawling like a snotty-nosed brat!’ is what I thought.”

Levi steps towards her, “hey,” he calls, “let’s go. We’re going after that big-ass Titan.”

Despite yours and everyone else attempts to argue in favour, Historia readily accepts her role as Queen. She’s thankful for you all standing up for her, but she knows what is expected of her and she understands the consequences if she denies it.

All she has is one last condition–that she be allowed to fight alongside you all as a Scout one last time.

So, here you are, preparing for the battle that Commander Erwin has set up, fighting alongside your comrades and those you’ve grown to care for as a family with the hopes that the gamble is a success.

If it isn’t, then hundreds of innocent lives will be lost.

Splashing some water on your face, you try to stay focused, ignoring the millions of thoughts running through your mind.

“Y/N.”

Brows furrowing, you straighten out, head turning to the left and frowning when you see Jean facing you.

You’d been grouped off with him, Sasha, and Connie, with Levi leading your section, so it isn’t really a surprise he’s here. What is a surprise is that he wants to talk to you… the two of you have been steadily avoiding each other, despite being in close contact, since you’d confessed your feelings for him. You didn’t blame him; you’d avoided him just as much as he had and honestly, you weren’t ever sure if things would go back to the way they were.

You doubted it. Even if the two of you managed to settle things, your heart would still hurt every time you looked at him. It wasn’t his fault, that you knew. If anything, it was your fault for letting your emotions get the better of you even if you’d known how wrong it would’ve been if you did so.

In all honesty, this was all your fault. Your fault for being stupid, for being emotional, for letting yourself think that something like a relationship was possible in the world you lived in. It wasn’t just the Titans, it was your life–who you were. You’d grown up alone, you had no friends… it was a miracle you’d managed to make the comrades you had in the past few years.

And you’d ruined one of the most important ones because of your feelings.

Meeting his gaze, you swallow thickly; “yes?”

“I…” His lips part to say more, eyes wide and a light flush across his cheeks, but even as he stands there, no words manage to escape him.

Letting your hands fall, you sigh. It was unfair of you to punish him when he’d done nothing wrong – if he didn’t like you in that way, that was just a fact you’d have to come to understand. “It’s okay, Jean,” you whisper, ignoring the way your heart twists painfully in your chest. “I understand.”

He blinks, shocked because he hadn’t said anything, shaking his head; “but–”

“I shouldn’t have let my feelings get in the way, anyways,” you explain, shaking your head as you step towards him. “It was silly and unprofessional of me. I’m sorry I put you in such a tight spot in the first place.”

“Y/N–”

A loud thud echoes, shaking the ground beneath you and your head turns in the direction of Rod Reiss’ Titan, noting that he’s shortening the distance.

Turning back to Jean, you smile lightly though it doesn’t meet your eyes; “we should get ready.”

And with that you walk past him, moving towards Levi, Connie and Sasha who are standing a few feet away from you. You don't notice Jean’s gaze follow your own, a deep frown on his lips as he curses himself mentally.

Why couldn’t he just say it?

Eren is successful. You feel the heat of the blast as he sends the explosives directly into Rod Reiss’ mouth, sending his body in chunks into multiple different directions.

Commander Erwin’s order comes seconds later; ‘find the nape and kill it’ and without hesitation, everyone jumps into action, making their way towards Rod Reiss’ body, slicing through the pieces of his body that fly before you.

The desperation bleeds in, trying to find his nape. You hear Jean call out towards Connie in frustration, and your eyes meet Sasha’s briefly as you both slice through the chunks that come soaring towards you with no luck.

And then a flash of blond zooms past you, and before you know it, an explosion echoes, Historia having successfully sliced through the nape of her father–effectively killing him.

She’d… she’d done it.

“Hold on… you’re seriously doing it, Historia?”

“Yeah, I am.”

Raising a brow, you glance at Historia.

“Mikasa was just joking,” Eren argues, the desperation bleeding into his tone as he walks beside the girl, trying to get her to listen to reason. “Right, Mikasa?” His gaze shifts to Mikasa who, as usual, is walking next to him, confident that she’ll give reason.

“After you smack him, tell him this… ‘I dare you to hit me back’.”

But of course, Mikasa has always had a personal vendetta against the Captain since the moment he beat up Eren when he was on trial – so, as you expected, she doesn’t listen to reason. Or help Historia to either.

“Damn you…!” Eren curses.

Poking through the space between Jean and Historia, you set your hand on Historia, squeezing it reassuringly; “I personally think this is a wonderful idea,” you grin, despite yourself. It wasn’t often you all got to have a bit of fun and especially recently. Sure, it could end horribly but you doubted Levi would act the way Eren was so afraid he would – if there was one thing you’ve come to learn about the Captain is his grumpy personality was nothing more than just a front. Besides… “Eren’s just afraid of the Captain,” you eyes, eyes shifting as you stick your tongue out at him.

Eren just stares wide-eyed back at you; “aren’t you?!” Then, turning back to Historia, he shakes his head. “If it’s not a real grudge, just forget about it.”

“If I can’t do this, how can I call myself Queen?”

Nodding to yourself, you find you like Historia’s reasoning.

“Hell yeah, Historia,” Jean cheers from beside you, and you send a quick glance his way before averting your gaze. “That’s the spirit!”

Historia lets out a gasp, eyes falling ahead of her, and you follow her gaze, eyes widening when you see it’s Levi himself. He walks forward when he notices the group of you, moving to stand in front of you, and slowly, Historia steps forward, shoulders tensing as nervous gasps leave her lips. You wait in bated breath, now not so sure with the man standing directly in front of you.

How would Levi actually respond?

After a moment longer, Historia suddenly lets out a cry, racing forward and swinging her arm back before punching Levi directly in his arm. In retrospect, the punch doesn’t look all that painful, still, your chest tightens with worry as Sasha and Connie grab onto you in panic and you all watch, waiting to see Levi’s reaction.

“How’d you like that?!” Historia cries, giggling maniacally, “I’m the Queen! If you got a problem–”

But then, Levi does the unthinkable,

He laughs.

A short, simple chuckle.

Still–

Then, slowly, he raises his head, a soft smile on his lips; “thank you… all of you.”

Eyes widening, you feel yourself relaxed, an ease watching over you as you register the sincerity in his gaze, drifting across all of you. You’re unable to stop the smile that curls onto your lips in response, a sense of pride at being able to not only succeed but make Levi proud as well.

You’re just about to make your way towards Sasha and Mikasa when he calls out for you.

“Y/N.”

And your brows furrowed in confusion, Levi being the last one you expected to call for you. You pause, trying to think if you’d done something that he would want to speak to you about but nothing comes to mind–it surely can’t be because of what had happened in the Chapel, could it? He hadn’t seemed all that frustrated with you after the incident….

A quick glance at Levi’s face and he doesn’t seem mad–so, no, it can’t be that.

Swallowing back the nerves flooding through you, you step towards him, tilting your head in confusion at him; “Captain?”

“Do you have a minute?” He asks, glancing past you, and you follow his gaze, noticing the way Sasha is frowning at you, eyes dancing with wonder, a hard look from Mikasa who’s standing next to her at Levi. You just shake your head at them briefly, before turning back to Levi.

“Yes, Captain,” you assure, clasping your hands behind your back as you meet his gaze. “Is… is everything alright?”

He sighs at that, only further concerning you as he shifts, inhaling sharply before he finally speaks. “Right after the battle with Rod Reiss’ Titan, a Scout informed me that they’d found a sighting of Kenny Ackerman just south of where the Chapel had been. He’d been the sole survivor of his friends, the rest of them all having been crushed under the rubble.”

Lips parting, you stare back at him.

Why was he…–

“Turns out Kenny Ackerman is my uncle.”

Blinking, your eyes widen.

You weren’t expecting that, to put it bluntly–then again, you weren’t expecting any of this.

Levi stares back at you, letting his eyes drift across you before he continues; “my full name is Levi Ackerman.”

It’s shocking to say the least.

But what shocks you more is the fact that Levi is telling you.

You’re just a cadet on his team. One of the many brats he’d been forced to deal with over the past few weeks and although Levi was hard around the edges, you knew he cared about you all in his own way–but that’s just it. He cared about you all, and it wasn’t like you’d grown particularly close to your Captain in any meaning of the word so why had he pulled you aside to tell you this himself?

Something so personal to him?

“With all due respect, Captain, why… Why are you telling me this?”

He pauses, and you feel your chest tighten in worry at what was wrong. Why was he being so… elusive like this?

Reaching into his jacket, he pulls out a slip of paper, before extending it towards you.

You stare at it for a moment, gaze flickering from him to the letter before slowly taking it. He nods at you the second you pause before unfolding it and still as confused as you were two minutes ago, you slowly unfold the paper. It’s old, worn around the edges and the paper has stained yellow and feels as if it might rip if you weren’t anything but gentle with it. Yet, it’s in perfect condition otherwise, as if the letter had been carefully protected over years.

And when you open it, disbelief floods you.

It’s your mothers writing.

You’d recognize it anywhere.

When you were a little girl, she used to help you with your own penmanship and you used to study her writing for hours.

Before you can gather the courage to read it, your eyes meet Levi’s. He’s watching you, carefully, and all he does is gesture at you to read it, staying completely silent.

So, ignoring the racing of your heart and the way your hands shake, you let your eyes drift across the words written on the page.

Kenny.

If you’re reading this, that means you came back.

I tried to wait for a month, but I had to move on. Being in this house felt too painful, reminding me constantly of the day you walked out the door on me and left our child.

I’ve only left this letter so that if you ever did return, you’d know that I tried for you but you never tried for me. For our child. And that I hate you with my entire being.

I never want to see you again.

And I never want your daughter to see what coward her father is.

So, if this letter finds you, never search for me.

Never search for Y/N.

Our child will never know your name, she’ll never know her father and she will inherit my name, not the Ackerman name. She will never know of your existence.

And if I ever see you, I'll kill you myself.

Johanna.

You retrace the words once more, a lump forming at the back of your throat as a sick feeling washes over you, swallowing you whole.

Kenny… was your father.

The feeling that had nagged at the back of your mind, that had filled you with dread and hope all at the same time… it was because it was true.

Kenny Ackerman was your father.

Your father who’d left your mother all alone.

Your mother who had hated him so much she’d never talked about him, never told you the truth and never wanted him to come searching for you?

Is this why? Because he’d left her all alone… because he’d abandoned her–abandoned you…

Had Kenny never gone looking for you because of this?

Or was it because he truly didn’t care for you?

To just leave your mother like that, he must’ve not–

“Y/N.”

You’d forgotten Levi was even there. It’s starting to feel like you can’t breathe as the truth comes crashing onto your shoulders. The sick feeling in your stomach is ever present and your vision is closing in on you as your fingers grip onto the letter tightly, risking ripping it but in your confused mind, you don’t even think of it.

This is… this is horrible. This can’t be true–any of it… all of that, the years spent thinking about your father, dreaming of the day you’d meet him, of imagining what he looked like, sounded like and he was the man who’d captured your friends, tried to kill them… was the man who’d abandoned your pregnant, alone and scared mother.

It comes like a startling realization, barely noticing how you’re gasping for air. You can't breathe–

“Y/N!”

Blinking, you stare back at Levi. Everything zones in on him as he frowns down at you.

“This was it, right? In the wagon? Under the Chapel? You’d thought…” His words trail, like he’s not sure what to say. “You’d thought Kenny might be your father?”

A shaky exhale leaves you. “My mother… before she died… she told me to find my father. She’d said his name but never finished, all she’d gotten out was Ken before she’d… died.” Feeling your eyes water, you do everything in your power to hold back your tears, feeling like you might puke. “When I heard the name, I thought I was crazy but I couldn’t get rid of this feeling in the back of my mind… and then, when you’d mentioned having a moment where you felt like power had surged through you–all I could think was I’d had a moment like that.”

Levi just continues to frown down at you.

“But this?” You cry, unable to stop the way your voice pitches as you gesture to the letter. “He… he just left her! He abandoned my mom and me!”

Levi shakes his head; “he did the same to me.”

You freeze, turning to Levi.

“When I was a boy in the Underground. One day, he just… left.”

It hadn’t even processed to you yet. If Kenny was Levi’s uncle then…

Clenching your fists, you huff; “where is he? I want… I want to talk to him.”

You move to walk forward, but Levi stops you with a hand to your shoulder. When you meet his gaze, he looks solemn; “he’s dead, Y/N.”

He’s… what?

“He wanted me to give you that letter. Said he’s kept it since the day he found it.” Levi explains, “I won't tell you how to feel. You can hate him or you can forgive him. That choice is up to you. But he wanted you to know he was sorry.”

If you had reached him in the Chapel, would he have still apologized to you?

If he wasn’t dying in front of Levi, would he have still felt apologetic for everything?

This was too much. It hurt too much.

Everything–fuck, it hurt.

“Captain,” you whisper, staring at your feet as you blink back the tears. “If Kenny’s your uncle, then…–”

“Yes,” he cuts in before you can finish, and you flinch at his tone, “our relationship stays the same, Y/N. I am still your Captain.”

You try to ignore the way his words sting, tug painfully at your heart. You don’t know why you would’ve expected any differently. This is who Levi was. You didn’t have to know him that well to understand that. His role as a Scout always comes first. He was your Captain and you were a cadet on his squad. Just because… just because–

Nodding, you fight back the words you truly want to say. “I understand, Captain.”

You move to walk off, but Levi’s hand catches your wrist.

Lips parting, you turn to meet his eyes.

“Our relationship stays the same, yes,” he nods, and disbelief floods you as his face shifts to a look of discomfort, as if not sure how to say his next words. There’s regret in his eyes, like he hadn’t meant the words he’d said earlier and his grip on your wrist loosens as his expression softens. “But… you are family, and I know neither of us have very much of that left. So, if you need anything, you… just need to ask.”

Did he–

“That is all.”

His hand leaves your own and before you can say anything, he’s turning, walking off.

You watch his back, watching him grow further and further, as a small smile curls onto your lips, despite everything, his words process in your mind.

Family…

You couldn’t believe it.

You’d lost your mother, you’d never get to talk to your father but… but you had family. You had someone…

You had Levi.

A knock on your door catches your attention.

Peeling your eyes from the letter that hasn’t left your hands since Levi gave it to you, you glance at your shut door, before slowly letting the letter fall to the bed, standing up.

When you open the door, Jean is standing on the other side of it.

You blink; “Jean.”

He stares back at you, but you quickly notice the look of determination in his gaze. He has his shoulders squared and his hands are clenched by his sides and he’s making his way inside the room before you can even say anything more, let alone him saying anything back in return. The action stuns you and confuses you, and you momentarily wonder if it’s everyone’s goal to confuse you today as you slowly shut the door behind you, turning to face Jean.

You raise a brow; “is… everything okay?”

He spins to face you, and your head jeers back at the quickness of his movement.

“I have something to tell you!” He declares, voice pitching.

You stare back at him for a moment, before nodding. “Me too actually.”

And it’s true. You hadn’t said anything to anyone since Levi had told you, even though Sasha and Mikasa had tried to ask what had happened. It wasn’t that you hadn’t wanted to tell them, but you were still processing the information yourself and needed time. It was one thing to find out who your father was, and another to realize that he’d left your mother and had abandoned you and that you’d never get to ask him about it–about why–because he was dead.

And there was nothing you could do to change that.

But you wanted someone to confide in and even if Levi had said you could come to him, you knew it couldn’t be about this. He’d already done enough telling you the truth in the first place and you still weren’t sure how to navigate this newfound relationship you shared with him.

It was more a matter of who you could confide in.

And despite everything, the answer had come easily.

Jean.

Even if he didn’t return your feelings, even if he didn’t like you like you did–you still felt most comfortable with him. You still found warmth and solace with him by your side and you didn’t want to lose that. As much as you’d felt embarrassed, it had been painful and uncomfortable feeling distant from him for the last while.

And that wasn’t something you wanted to continue.

You wanted to tell him, because you knew he’d help make you feel better and that it would show him that despite what had happened, you still trusted him.

Jean blinks at your words, before slowly nodding and then, there’s an echo of silence, before both of you just blurt it out.

“I’m in love with you!”

“Kenny Ackerman is my father.”

Woah–

Had he…

Eyes widening, you stare back at Jean, a similar expression on his face staring back at you, except his cheeks are bright red with the flush of his confession.

And silence follows, a minute, and then another, and then finally you say something but all you can manage is; “oh.”

He cringes, curling into himself, as his eyes lower and then his eyes catch the letter on your bed and it’s like your words finally register in him.

“Wait,” he calls, shaking his head, “Kenny’s your father?”

“Uh, yeah,” you nod, slowly. “Captain Levi just told me a little bit ago–”

“Captain did?”

“Well, yeah, turns out he’s actually my… family, I guess? Because Kenny’s his uncle and I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to say that to you so do not tell anyone that! Especially Connie or Sasha because I think he’ll actually kill me if he found out and–wait! Did you just say you love me?”

Your ramble ends with you breathless, and Jean’s cheek burns red as the attention turns back to him.

“Yeah,” he says quietly, “I… I wanted to tell you before, when we were fighting Rod Reiss’ Titan but then you just kind of…”

Cut him off is what you’d done.

Because you thought he was just trying to apologize for hurting your feelings and you’d been too embarrassed to have to face pity like that so you’d brushed it off.

He’d been trying to tell you he loved you?

What–

“But when I… you ran off, so I thought–”

Jean steps towards you, “I… I hadn't meant to… not really.” Rubbing the back of his nape, Jean glances at his feet, thoroughly embarrassed. “I was feeling like a coward because Armin had to kill someone for me when I couldn’t and I was worried because you’d gotten hurt and I don’t know… I panicked.”

You look off to the right, unable to stop the pout from forming on your lips; “I thought… Well, I thought it was because you were still in love with Mikasa.”

“What?”

You blink, turning back to Jean, not having expected the bellow that left his lips. His eyes are wide as he stares back at you, like you’re crazy and he’s crossing the distance over to you until he’s right in front of you. “No, no… I… I’ve liked you for a while but I felt like I didn’t deserve you because… well, because I’m a coward.”

You can’t help it. You reach out for him, grabbing his arms as you shake your head up at him. “That is not true,” you argue without hesitation, voice pleading with desperation for him to believe your words. “You’re… you’re one of the bravest men I’ve ever met. Sure, I thought you were a jerk when I first met you but then… you just kept changing and growing and when you chose the Scouts over a quiet life in the Military Police my entire view of you changed. You make me feel safe and warm and protected even if I can take care of myself. You’ve helped me and comforted me more times than I can count and… you were the first one I wanted to tell about my father, Jean. No one else.”

Staring back at you, Jean’s lips part; “Y/N…”

“You’re more than just brave,” you finish, “you’re an amazing leader.”

He stares back at you, your words hanging in the air and then, slowly, his hand raises, and you freeze when his hand falls on your cheek, cupping it.

“I really do love you.” His admission is breathless, as if dazed as he stares down at you, drunk at the sight and feeling of you.

It makes your heart flutter.

Licking your lips, you stare up at him; “I… I love you too, Jean.”

He smiles, and his eyes flicker down to your lips before back on your eyes, and you just stare back at him, waiting. Then, after a moment, he leans forward, pressing his lips against your own. His lips are warm against yours, and your eyes fall shut as he pulls you closer, feeling your back straighten at his touch on you.

He’s pulling back in the next second, still nervous, the kiss short but sweet as you smile up at him, cheeks flushed.

And then, Jean blinks. “We really gotta talk about Kenny being your father though,” he cuts in, frowning down at you. “Are you okay?”

Swallowing thickly, you lean into him; “he wanted me to have that letter… it was a letter my mom had written him after he left her, telling him to never come looking for me or her… Captain Levi said he was sorry,” glancing at the letter, you frown. “But I can’t help but wonder if he’d still feel that way if he’d lived.”

Jean lets go of you, moving to grab the letter. He sends a look your way, asking for permission, but you just nod, letting him read it. You watch him do so, seeing the shock that floods his gaze before he finishes, glancing back at you.

“She… she seemed really hurt.”

You nod, making your way over to him; “I wish she would’ve told me the truth.”

Jean hands you the letter; “she probably thought she was protecting you.”

“I know,” you agree, letting your fingers brush against the letter. “Still. I’ll… I'll never get to ask him myself.”

You feel your eyes water again, unable to hold them back as you stare back at Jean. He reacts without hesitation, pulling you into him as his arms wrap around you, and you sink into the hug, burying your face into the crook of his neck.

Jean holds you close, never letting you go, and it helps.

Even just a little.

The door is open when Kenny returns.

And everything is completely silent.

As he pushes the door open slowly, he isn’t surprised to see it completely empty without a single trace of Johanna anywhere.

Frowning, Kenny lets his eyes drift across the barren house, before his eyes fall on a letter laid on the table.

Making his way over, he takes the letter, slowly unfolding it, eyes drifting across the words scrawled across the page.

The second he’s finished, he stares at it a moment longer, before folding it and sliding it into the inner pocket of his jacket, standing there a moment longer before making his way back out of the house.

Kenny doesn’t know it but…

It’s two days after Johanna had left.

And he’d been too late.

It’s that moment that returns to his mind seconds before his death, that barren, empty house and that letter he’d held for sixteen years straight–never once opening it again but never once daring to throw it away.

And as he lets his eyes fall shut, ignoring the stunned look on his nephew's face, he lets himself think of you for the first time in sixteen years. He’d only gotten a glimpse of you, but he lets that float through his mind, before the image of Johanna appears in his mind just as he feels himself slipping away.It would’ve been nice, he thinks, to have been able to talk to you at least once.

#aot #aot x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin #jean kirstein #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #jean x reader #jean angst #jean fluff #levi ackerman #eren jaeger

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i-am-kat-hi · 9 months ago

Text

Yall wanted headcanons, yall shalt recieveth

Arturo styles Ace’s hair to make it look good.

#Couple Therapy

Their reaction ship is a cycle of “-I’m mad, I yell at you, we separate, I feel bad, I forgive you, we love each other again, something ticks me off so-” over and over again.

Arturo actually makes decent meals for them.

Don’t think they go easy on each other if they get intimate.

If either of them has a bad day, the other will hug and comfort them while they cry.

Arturo tries his best to help Ace care for himself.

Arturo also does makeup, Ace has tried it once and he looked kinda funny, which made Arturo laugh.

Every once in a while, Ace steals Arturo’s mask and hides it.

The way I squealed with joy for Aceturo cannot be explained with words. I fucking love Aceturo.

Ace definitly clings to Levi’s leg when he’s bored.

Levi usually makes Ace eat food

Ace and Levi make it a tradition to sleep in together every saturday no matter what.

They either don’t show affection or shower the other in it.

They both get very intimate with each other, especially when they’re both in a good mood.

Levi makes all the clothing they wear, since he refuses to let other people make what he and Ace wear.

This is one of my OPTs, I adore this ship to death.

Eden and Arei always bake cookies together. Arei would decorate them with swear words and Eden would draw faces on them.

Eden always kisses Arei goodnight.

Arei is very defensive of Eden and will do anything to make sure she’s safe.

Arei teases Eden often but the friendly type. Sometimes Eden drops a comeback which makes Arei proud.

When they kiss, Eden’s lips taste like sugar and Arei’s taste like lipstick.

They prefer to keep a romantic relationship, nothing too intimate.

The amount of hate these two get for being lesbian. Eden stays silent and Arei yells at them.

Lovely Lovely Lesbians <3

Damn 2 Charuko requests-

Charles and Teruko sleep in different rooms

The two of them order doordash because neither of them can cook.

Teruko is usually the one to start a conversation, Charles ends it

Teruko will sometimes wear Charles’ spare lab coat when he’s at work because she misses him

Charles gives small forehead kisses to Teruko when she’s asleep.

They keep their relationship purely romantic, with no sexual stuff.

They have a small bird named Kiki. She’s a Conure.

When they aren’t busy, they watch romance movies at home.

Charles had to take Teruko to a lawyer to fix up her legal documents.

FUCK YEAH MY FAVORITE SHIP, LET’S GOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Min has taught David perfect grammar for his speeches.

David and Min read books together.

Since neither of them really go out, they order doordash.

To help David sleep, Min reads him some calming poems.

Min is always at the front row of David's speeches.

They bond over “society is fucking stupid”

David always moves Min’s bangs out of her eyes and Min takes off David’s starclips as an inside joke.

Rare pair I never thought of but like a lot now❣️

Nico brought a black cat home once and David refuses to let anyone else pet it.

The two of them adore oversized hoodies so they might wear one together.

David is usually the one who takes the initiative when it comes to intimacy, of course, he never goes rough.

The two of them are

Nico usually makes meals for the two of them. David will sometimes have to drag Nico into the shower with him so they can get clean. Man, I’m all for rare-pairs and I think this ship is cute <3

How about both 😀

-Halloween Trio

Veronika and Arturo go on a lot of shipping sprees for fashionable clothing, with Ace having to carry everything.

Ace and Veronika agree to share Arturo, and Arturo watches in confusion.

Ace definitely loves it when Arturo hugs him. He sees it as a special occasion.

Veronika gives Arturo little pecks on the cheek and head pats Ace.

Ace is a rough kisser, Veronika goes a bit lighter, and Arturo gives light kisses.

They all have bracelets with each other’s names on them. FUCKING LOVE THIS POLYCULE.

-Acevid

They’res a lot of fighting between them.

They both call each other mentally insane.

Since neither of them really.. eats..their kitchen is very empty.

They rarely show each other affection, even if they want to.

Every once in a while, Ace will kiss David on the cheek.

Expect these two to have nightmares in the middle of the night, wake up crying, and hug each other for comfort.

Teruko lets her guard down around Nico

They’re not very touchy or intimate with each other.

They usually don’t talk with each other, instead, they write little notes for each other.

They have three cats, Tractor(a Canon Cat), Lily(A grey cat), and Soju(Brown with white splotches of fur).

Nap times are common.

Teruko usually drags Nico to baths and showers.

SO MANY HOODIES.

Oooo this ship intrests me/pos

Oh no…this ship…I can never escape it/lh

They constantly fight but it’s more lighthearted.

They go all out in intimacy.

They sometimes have swear-offs, but David usually wins.

Teruko does David’s hair.

David gave up doing speeches and instead uses his new free time to hang out with Teruko.

The amount of injuries David has from Teruko’s luck is absurd. Teruko feels bad about this and tries to patch the other up.

Every once in a while, they have some wholesome moments.

Teruko calls David, “Stardust” and David calls Teruko “Nova”.

They have matching earrings. Teruko has a star earring and David has a moon one.

I LOVE. TERUVID.

The two of them often go out to graffiti on old buildings.

Arei often plays pranks on Xander, Xander afterward would pick her up and suspend her in the air playfully.

When Xander cooks for the two of them, Arei always has a bottle of cold water prepared since Xander cooks really spicy food.

They take baths together and splash each other in the process.

If either one of them gets hurt, the other gets very defensive. They definitely enjoy their intimate time together. This is a ship I’ve never seen before, personally I headcanon Arei as a lesbian but I’m all up for rare-pairs!

Whit makes the meals for the two.

Xander actually confessed to Whit the day before Valentinesday, since he knew Whit disliked the holiday.

Whit showers Xander with affection and Xander does his best to do the same.

They definitely enjoy their intimate time together.

Whit calls Xander “Xanxan”, and Xander calls Whit “Muffin” just because it’s cute.

Their ideal date is chasing each other on a grassy hill when it’s sunny outside.

Xanwhit is actually really cute now that I think about it.

Teruko is almost always dragged by Veronika to see horor movies.

Veronika is very intrigued by Teruko’s luck, even if that means she’s getting into a lot of trouble due to it.

Even if she doesn’t show it, Teruko loves Veronika dearly.

The two of them are very intimate with each other, Veronika always starts it and they switch around. Both of them exploring each other.

Veronika works at a movie production studio and Teruko is the main actor.Teruko learned how to write just so she could write love letters to Veronika. Man, I love this ship sm. It’s honestly adorable to me.

----

GASP A LOT OF REQUESTS AND A LOT OF HEADCANONS! TYSM TO EVERYONE WHO REQUESTED SHIPS <333

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misc-obeyme · 8 months ago

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Can we talk about Solomon...? Tbh in the OG obey me game i never found him interesting, that is until Nightbringer came out. He feels much more fleshed out here, and i think it's cute that both Solomon and MC share a living space together as if they're married.

I also find it very interesting that Solomon is based on the REAL King Solomon of Israel. There's so much lore surrounding him, and i find it kinda sad that the devs don't use it to their full potential to the plot. Of course, they make references here and there, plus his pacts with Barbatos and asmodeus, but i feel like they could do much more?

Can we talk about how biblical lore, King Solomon, also had (foreign) 700 wives and 300 concubines, and his greatest sin was in building temples for the gods that his wives worshipped Young Solomon is a playboy xD even though i'm sure he married all of those women for power, so it's more likely not out of love but more political expediency? and apparently, "his wives turned his heart after other gods” (Kings 11:4), and thus, he built shrines to the gods of their religions. In the biblical account of his reign, God tells Solomon he will punish him for his apostasy by breaking up his kingdom after his death. Seeing how Solomon is still alive in the Obey me universe, that would mean he had to witness his kingdom being split into two kingdoms (The people revolted against heavy taxes levied by Solomon and his son, Rehoboam). He also probably had to watch many people he truly cared about pass away. (Do you remember that one Gif in the OG Obey me that he was crying in front of a grave??)

BUT, as I mentioned before, since he had many wives, naturally, he had children as well. The documented children of his were Rehoboam, Menelik I, Taphath, and Basemath.

So maybe the reason why the devs didn't mention this might be because fans might get jealous? Seeing how many were upset when Thirteen (the first female character) was announced because they were threatened that she might be stealing the boys, I can see why they didn't include that information.

-Angsty Anon

It does seem like more people are enjoying Solomon since Nightbringer! In fact, the fic I wrote about Solomon shortly after NB came out was the first time one of my fics really took off - it got so many notes in the first day or so and I was so confused lol.

Anyway, I personally started to really enjoy Solomon's character in season three of the OG, but they definitely made him more prominent in NB! And of course I loved that he and MC were living together... it was so cute, nearly all my Solomon centered fics after that are about them in Cocytus Hall.

As for the Biblical lore, I can guarantee you it had everything to do with not wanting any of the love interests to have had any wives in their past. Of course, they don't explicitly say as much, so I think you could headcanon that Solomon still had all his 700 wives and 300 concubines.

I also think they don't go too heavy on the Biblical stuff for the reason of not wanting to offend people who actually believe in this as a religion. I think there's probably only so much you can really use if you want it to stay somewhat neutral in that regard.

By only loosely basing Solomon on the real King Solomon, they give themselves the space to do whatever they want with his character. They're not as bound by the source material. So they only pick and choose the parts they want to include.

I think they do this for the entire story, honestly, not just Solomon. For instance, who is Diavolo even supposed to be? I always thought he was supposed to be kind of a stand in for "the Devil" you know?

But anyway, I digress.

I think they kind of completely rewrote Solomon's past. Considering how he was said to be locked up in a basement as a child, after which he was brought to the Fountain of Knowledge by Barbatos... so when was he actually King? Perhaps after that? And maybe it was then that he would have had all the wives and such?

I definitely remember that particular gif... I made everybody upset when I suggested that it was MC's grave he was crying at lol. Sorry, guys.

But it could just as easily be a wife he actually loved or one of his sons. (Though how is it he only has four sons when he has 700 wives and 300 concubines?? I don't know anything about Bible stuff lol perhaps these are just the ones with names??)

Anyway, I'm fairly certain that people wouldn't like him to have all those wives and concubines. Maybe one wife could be handled, you know, because she'd obviously have been dead for a long time. But I dunno. People get jealous over the idea that Solomon was Lilith's lover, too. So probably best for the game if they just don't go there at all lol.

I do think it would be interesting if they introduced another demon that he happens to have a pact with. We never see any of the others, but I suppose that's more about a lack of space... it's not like they can add 70 characters... in fact, I take it back I am glad they've kept it to the two we have, no more are needed, thanks!

#can you imagine if Solomon had relationships with all those demons like the ones he has with Barbatos and Asmodeus?#like so involved and complicated #maybe he does he's lived long enough #but we don't have enough space for that in the game I don't think #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me solomon #angsty anon #misc answers

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aotopmha · 10 months ago

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What are your thoughts on the whole Mikasa's new family thing? As a normal person with some romantic experience, I think it makes sense for her to have a family and not be stuck single on a dead guy for life. As an AoT fan who can basically not separate her from her 'Eren' rhetoric, it feels like a twist... or dare I say, betrayal? I wish we had a bit more padding to the ending, because it seems these things were wrapped up very quickly, and besides the literal deaths, I feel like my girl Historia and Levi got such bitter endings...

This is quite a few questions so I'm answering them in a list:

1) I really like Mikasa moving on because from the framing of her final moments in the story and the passing time in the extra pages and credits, I feel like she had a mourning period and then was able to move on and start a new family, something she always wanted. And I think earning that ending is at least some (and an appropriate one) reward after what she went through.

2) She has always loved Eren, but she has also punched him in the face when she thought he was doing stupid shit and being hot-headed. She threw him in chapter 1, punched him in the face in episode 2, is perfectly capable of making her own decisions without him, which was the point of the first half of episode 6. As much as she loves him, her attachment has actually comparatively little to do with him and everything to do with the death of her parent(s) figure(s) twice in a row in the span of a year when she was a child.

(Episode 6 in the anime, chapter 5 in the manga.)

Her attachment to Eren has caused a bunch of issues and is her biggest "flaw", but she has never been a *doormat*, which is what so many people read her as and I disagree with.

The decision to kill Eren was made by her when she saw families and children suffer because of him, something she can deeply relate to and works to prevent.

(Chapter 48)

Mikasa isn't a crying damsel, she's a warrior who went through some pretty tough shit and is reacting accordingly.

She will fight when she needs to fight and do the right thing when she needs to do the right thing.

3) Pacing was actually probably the biggest issue I personally had with the manga's ending, but the anime pretty much fixed all of it in my eyes. Mikasa's feelings for Eren, though, and vice versa was one of the most obvious things about the entire story from start to finish, so you've got a disagreement there as well. From the moment you see the subtle blush from Eren in the flashback, the trope became really clear to me and nothing onward from there really convinced me otherwise because Eren never had any other relationship like that in the story, no other love interest characters or characters framed in relation to his character in the same way.

4) Likewise, I think Levi probably had the best ending out of every single character in the story. As much of a pyrrhic victory as defeating Eren was, he got his revenge and kept his life. He got the most strongly defined closure he could get in context of the story.

5) What I agree with you on is how Historia was treated, though I'm not sure if for the same reasons or in the same way. The final arc basically destroyed her character and the anime equally did not even mention or even have a nod towards any of her defining moments as a character or her important relationships (because I suspect Isayama just could not figure out how to write her in this context in any other way).

In my eyes, she went through one of the best, most strongly defined character arcs in the entire story, but all we got from it was a metaphor for the birth of a new world... through a clearly gay-coded character. It's pretty awful and contradicts the theme of freedom her character is about and embodies by the end of the Uprising arc AND the general ideas of freedom the story is about, but I choose to put it in its own awful box and reluctantly close my eyes to it.

I think her arc was about her finding out what she wants and no longer living in a role and I think the entirety of the final arc went against that.

I've gone into why Historia's arc is awful in many other asks and posts, so I don't feel like reiterating it all right now (I have a tag for her character and pretty much all characters, so if anyone is interested, you'll probably find my detailed thoughts looking around there, but, yeah I think it's pretty awful even if you don't see her as gay-coded.)

Thank you for the ask!

#Attack on Titan #Shingeki no Kyojin #AoT #SnK #Mikasa #Levi #Historia #Mikasa Ackerman #Historia Reiss #Levi Ackerman #Asks

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beelsbignaturals · 1 year ago

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💀DEMON FORMS: SATAN🔥

AN: for some reason I am incapable of seeing Satan in a romantic light so I hope all the Satan kissers are at least a little satisfied. I tried my best. If you like this and want to see my Levi and General Demon Form Headcanons, check out the obey me world building tag. 💚💚💚 also thank u michi for helping w the trigger warnings ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Inspiration for this part: @waltnut and like the one pic from @breakfastwiththedamned of him with all the fire n stuff

TWs: Body horror, mild injury, DEATHLY SKINNY, skeletal body, demons looking demonic, SIR THOSE R UR BONES, skeletons, burn mention.

First, in general, Satan had the hardest time learning to control his form. He's really good at it now, though!! He's right up there with Mammon and Lucifer in terms of self control.

● 1.5 Satan is weirdly hot to the touch. It feels like touching a hot stove. Ouch. His teeth are actually pretty tame compared to, say, Levi. Four fangs in his upper jaw, two on each side. The rest of his teeth are like. Uncomfortably straight. A dentist would cry tears of joy. One might say they are…. Like a military cemetery (ref) Overall, 1.5 Satan isn't really that wacky. His bones are a lot more prominent, though. And being around him is enough to make you irritable. You will stub your toe and suddenly want to fight God.

Satan, completely engrossed in his book, had no sweet clue he was about to trip down a flight of stairs. You, being an upstanding citizen, grab his arm to pull the demon back. Bad idea. Hissing in pain, you pull your hand back, bewildered because you didn't expect to be burned of all things! Satan apologizes for unintentionally scalding your hand, but.. it technically is your own fault. Protip: Don't do good deeds in hell.

● Level 2. In-game demon form plus add some snazzy hooves, and also His Bones Glow. Could be mistaken for a radium girl because of the eerie green light emitting from his body at all times. It's worse in the dark. This man is a GLOWSTICK. His teeth get sharper, and his nails grow into long curved claws. Also, his tail is made of vertebrae. He has a habit of dragging it slowly along the floor when he's deep in thought. Makes a very creepy clack-clack-clack sound.

The power had gone out while you were in your room. When you tiptoe out into the dark, the last thing you thought you would see was Satan, standing there looking like he is being lit up from within. Startled, you jump what feels like ten feet in the air, but in reality, it is only a few inches. Satan lets out a combination of a death rattle and a laugh.

● Level 3. His skin is extremely sunken in. You can see each and every bone and joint. His arms and legs are disproportionately long, and he has to hunch over to get through doorways. If you touch his skin in this form, you will need medical attention for the severe burns. His eyes are black, sunken-in pits. Though sometimes in the dark, you can see a faint green light. Every movement he makes causes his bones to make the aforementioned clacking sound. When Satan is especially pissed off, green smoke and fire billows out of his mouth, nose, and eye sockets.

A strange noise can be heard throughout the house as you struggle to breathe through the smoke. Satan had gotten mad because a prank against Lucifer failed miserably, causing the curse to backfire onto himself. Now, there is a tall, skeletal blonde who can not stop hiccuping. Each spasm of his demonic diaphragm sends fire spewing from every orifice. It's not until you manage to make it into the room, coughing profusely, and remind him of your cat cafe date that he begins to calm down.

● Level 4. He grows taller the more angry he is. 40 foot home depot skeleton who?! All his bones are black, blending seamlessly with his horns. The skin has a grayish tint and is stretched so thin in some places that it's translucent. His bones glow brighter based on how angry he is. Basically, he's a giant glowing skeleton. His body temperature is so high that if he touches anything flammable…. Grab some marshmallows. Satan is real reason the library of Alexandria burnt down. Someone bumped into him and... the rest is history. I don't have much else to say about it. Big grumpy skeleton.

The second the fire alarms go off, everyone panics. The fire alarms at RAD are enchanted, so only real emergencies can set it off. You barely have time to push your way through the door when a giant skeletal hand breaks through the window. Wait a damn minute... you know that eerie green glow... you somehow manage to fight your way through the crowd of screaming demons and succubi. Carefully, you step over the broken glass, peeking your head out the window. "Satan?" You call out softly. "Wanna talk about it?" A giant obsidian skeleton that towers over the school looks down at you, the flames dancing in the empty eye sockets dim ever so slightly. You count that as a win. The air is suffocating its so hot, and anyone in their right mind would be running for their lives. Good thing you aren't in your right mind. You sit on a desk as the Avatar of Wrath shrinks about a foot in size. He still has to crouch to be eye level with the window. But you can tell he appreciates the offer from the way Satan is paying extra attention to make sure his breathing doesn't roast you alive. How sweet.

#om! shall we date #obey me worldbuilding #obey me satan #obey me satan x reader #obey me x reader #shrimp writes

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mysteriousmissfsart · 4 months ago

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BNHA Rambles #1

I would like to thank Horikoshi-sensei for creating Boku no Hero Academia. I appreciate his hardwork and effort that he has put into his work. Thank you.

However, I am incredibly sad about episode 11 of season 7. Episode 10 as well.

I warn anyone reading this that there will be spoilers if you are not caught up with the anime or the manga (up to this point).

This post is just me rambling about a few things. (I mean a lot of things, actually)

Do tell me what you think as well!

Spoilers under the cut!

First of all, WHAT IS IT WITH THE RIGHT ARMS OF PEOPLE GETTING BROKEN OR SOMETHING????

Like, Endeavor lost his right arm??? Now Bakugo is most likely not going to be able to use that arm as well???? Are we drawing parallels between those two? Is their redemption in not being able to use one side of their body???? This is sad???????!!!!!!!! I was literally rooting for Katsuki to become a pro hero by the end of the series.

Speaking of KATSUKI BAKUGO-

Like, is my boy dead? (I already know the answer so please, no need to tell me. Also, I really had to know, okay?)

I basically grew up with this guy???? (I was 14 when the first season came out and now I'm 22)

Am I literally going to be watching bnha without Katsuki? He was literally the reason why I watched it in the first place! I could see where his character development was headed and I knew that it would be good! Yes, the other characters are amazing as well and I am going to watch the series anyway, I don't like leaving things unfinished unless its really bad. I am happy about Shinso getting some good screentime, though. Hope he doesn't get hurt in some way, seen or unforeseen.

(Fun fact: There are only two series I have dropped and will never finish watching; 1. Kuroko no Basket. 2. Shingeki no Kyojin. Reason: For Kuroko, the only characters that were interesting to me were Kuroko and the Blonde guy, I literally forgot his name, I also didn't like the cherry stem girl really. Overall, didn't find it appealing. For Shingeki: Only character I liked was Levi, still like him. It has too much gore, I didn't know that when I was told that it was a masterpiece. I couldn't stomach anything everytime I watched an episode. Bnha is MILD in comparison to whatever was going on in Titan land. Also, I always disliked Eren with a passion. If you know you know. My friend and my sister have already told me the whole thing. I was right about you Eren Yaeger!!!!)

But-

I never expected his heart to get pierced????? Why did we have to do that?????

I was peacefully eating dinner today when I was shocked by the sheer evilry that scene presented. I have not cried this much over a character death before. The first time I cried over one was over the death of Hiccup's dad from how to train your dragon (I was maybe 11 at the time). But, never like this. Never like somebody I know has died. It's strange that I felt so connected to him. I don't know, my emotions never make sense really. Like, my breath literally hitched and my eyes just teared up and flowed down my face???!!! Like, what???? Why did he have to be done like that? The scene with him talking to All Might's Shadow (ghost, spirit????) and that tone change. We have never heard Katsuki talk in that way before, he seemed like himself there and not the tough facade he always dons.

The scene at the end when we see his heart get pierced and then when Jeanist realizes what has happened was just heartwrenching. I couldn't stop crying. He doesn't deserve this, none of them do. I literally made myself pretend that didn't happen but when Jeanist pointed it out, all I could do was stare in disbelief at the screen. The saddest part of all of this? His mom realizing that it will rain and saying "that kid doesn't like the rain". Why? Because that's when Jeanist realizes that his heart has been pierced by Shigaraki/All for One. IT RAINS WHEN THEY REALIZE THAT KATSUKI'S HEART HAS BEEN PIERCED.

Sad, I'm just unbelievably sad.

I just wish this series ends on a happy note.

To Horikoshi-sensei,

If you are reading this, may your readers' tears soon dry and there be a happy ending to your series. I am truly a big fan of this series and how it has turned out. I never expected to stick around for so long but it has been interesting. This series has kept me on my toes and has fed into my love of mystery solving. I loved discovering things along with the characters as well as figure things out on my own. The angst and horrifiying theme has been carried out so well. I hope I will be around for the ending as well.

Thank you!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

What did you all think of this episode and Katsuki's development? I am dreading the next episode. Were you shocked by this scene? I literally couldn't keep my eyes on the screen. It hurt too much.

See you again sometime!

#bnha #bnha spoilers #bnha rant #bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha season 7 #mha season 7 #mha #mha spoilers

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prideofcelestia · 2 years ago

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❝ reincarnation ❞

notes -> this is my piece for leviathan's birthday collaboration 2023. the prompt is 'reincarnation'

i had a lot of fun with this collab. everyone worked really hard and it was a beautiful feeling to work with people who love the game and levi. thank you everyone for the support and effort you put!

happy birthday, levi!!! thank you for being my beacon of hope during bleak times. you are such an amazing otaku. you give me courage to love the things i do ♡

contains tw -> angst, mentions of war, mentions of death, angst with a happy, hopeful ending.

leviathan x gender neutral reader

Levi jumped, a magazine lying at his feet.

“Ivel-chan was reincarnated as a slime in this life and she will have her revenge!”

He remembered crying buckets last week when they had killed her off. So what if she was a side character? In his heart, she was brighter than the protagonist who only gave fan service these days. At least Ivel-chan had character!

The door to his room flung over. Lucifer peeked inside, his eyes glimmering with sadistic enthusiasm. The twins, who were only toddlers, rested in baby clasps, one on his back, one in the front.

“Levi, dinner has been ready for ten minutes now. Do you want to come to the table or be fed right here?”

“Eep! I-I am coming.”

༺☆༻

“Mammon, don’t play with your food. Asmo, put the mirror down. Satan, don’t glare at your food,” Lucifer chided before feeding a happy Beel.

“Levi, remember that you have to show [Name] around the neighbourhood.”

Levi groaned because he liked staying indoors, “Why do I have to do it?”

“Because their family just shifted in yesterday and [Name] is the same age as you. So as good," Lucifer put emphasis, making Levi shudder, "neighbours, we must do our duty.”

༺☆༻

Seeing you for the first time made Levi feel butterflies in his stomach. You seemed someone out of his memory but that somehow made you feel more real than ever. Every word of protest he had been repeating to himself till then disappeared.

He has had crushes before, both reel and real but it felt different this time. It was as if he knew you from somewhere, and not in a I-have-seen-you-before kind of way but in a I-know-you-well kind of way. It made him feel uncomfortable. He felt violated, as if you could see right through him. He might not be too difficult to read, given that he was nothing more than a yucky otaku but he still had some secrets he wanted to keep safe and your vibe was completely off.

“Do I know you?” you asked, feeling a knot in your stomach that you could not justify.

The idea of letting a stranger show you around a new neighbourhood made you anxious, but the feeling that dominated you right now was curiosity, and surprisingly, interest.

༺☆༻

Levi wasn't that bad. He actually did a good job showing you the places that mattered. The arcade, the stores where the best instant ramen was to be found, the aquarium, and… an anime cafe, too. The last one quite surprised you.

You started hanging out together, mostly because you had become acquainted with him a little, and he seemed fun. He held the same opinion about you and made plans together, although all of it was in his room, playing games.

It felt as if you had lived those exact moments several times with him. Every time he leaned against you during an intense gaming session and apologised, or when he offered you new ramen flavours to try, you would be hit with a memory from a time unknown.

Even though your mind was foggy, you knew that the places you pictured him in were more beautiful than your memory could produce. To add colour to mystery, he was in some sort of an angel cosplay. It all felt really bizarre but it made you think about him more than should be considered healthy.

In his turn, Levi felt guilty that he just couldn't get you out of his mind. He was supposed to be a good friend to you. Wasn't it betraying you if he was, what he believed it to be, falling in love with you?!

༺☆༻

The dreams followed soon. You could neither understand the significance nor discuss it with someone to come to a conclusion.

Those felt disconnected and unreal and you kept mixing the details in your head, not to mention the haunted look Levi had the day after you got one of the dreams.

One day, you decided to take him into your confidence. Slowly but firmly.

You said casually, “Levi, why do you look so tired today?”

He blinked and looked frightened, “Huuuu-? Me?? We-Well, there's something on my m-m-mind. I didn't know how to t-tell you this. I've been having strange dreams these days. I got one last night.”

You stopped in your tracks abruptly to turn towards him. He felt hot under your intense gaze.

“Wh-Why are you looking at m-m-me like that?”

“It’s just,” you began, extremely calm and intrigued, “I have been having dreams that I can’t explain for a while too. Maybe we should talk.”

༺☆༻

“Is this the place?” you called out to Levi after reaching the top of the hill.

The poor guy had been running to keep up with you. Presently, he sat down to rest. Once he could breathe well, he looked around.

There were a few trees scattered around. Wild grass and dandelions had spread there for a good while, lending a weathered yellow look to the place.

It was hauntingly beautiful in your eyes.

“Y-Yeah, this is the place I saw in my dr-dreams. I have been too afraid to come here alone,” Levi said, almost breathless.

The place seemed to talk to him too.

You explored the place while Levi was content with glancing around from his spot.

A sense of nostalgia washed over you. When you glanced back at him, you knew that he felt the same.

On walking around, you came across a small pond that seemed to draw you in.

That's when you saw something shining between the rocks.

After nudging the rocks aside, you found a locket there. It must have been a pretty colour once but now it was rusted and impossible to open.

You didn't know why you hid it so quickly when you heard Levi calling out for you.

Maybe you needed time to think and figure it out yourself first.

༺☆༻

You couldn't put the matter aside for later. The object seemed to call out to you so you put the controller down and turned towards Levi.

“Listen, I picked something up from that place.”

You pulled the locket out and showed it to your friend.

His eyes grew as large as saucepans, “Wh-What do you mean you just randomly picked it up? It could be bad, REALLY b-bad! We still don’t know what those dreams mean!”

You sighed and motioned it towards him, “But isn’t this better than to just speculate?”

He croaked, “The dreams make me uncomfortable… the place… I feel like I have been there before.”

You inched closer to him.

“I understand. Don't worry, I am here with you.”

He stared at you before his lips finally curved up in a smile. “Thank you. You are my true friend, my best friend even!”

Then he shrugged his shoulders, “I guess this is what a protagonist would do. Who am I to stop you? Let's see if it does anything.”

When he touched the locket in your hand, everything around grew dark.

༺☆༻

You were transported to a place beautiful beyond expectations. A strong, shaky hand wrapped around your shoulder, surprising you. A quick glance revealed that it was Levi. He was wearing pure white robes and there was a halo floating on his head. You wanted to laugh and tease him but you couldn’t move.

“I love you, [Name],” he said. The pain in his voice and the fire in his eyes took you aback. “I-I promise that I will pr-protect you in the war.”

What war?

Your mouth seemed to have a mind of its own. Your hand intertwined with his and you found yourself smiling while your veins coursed with fear. “I love you too, Levi. I will not let any harm come to you. Forever, remember?”

“Yes, fo-forever,” he spoke shyly but there was a smile on his face.

༺☆༻

The scene shifted. You were in armed combat with an extremely angry looking woman.

Damn! She was skilled. Every time she swung her spear, you thought that you were about to die, but your body moved meticulously to avoid the attacks.

“[Name], are you fine?” Levi screamed from somewhere.

The female angel raised her eyebrows and showed you a nasty smile before pointing her spear in the direction of Levi’s voice. Your eyes widened as you turned around only to find him busy commanding his army.

He would notice the spear too late! You launched yourself in front of him just before the fatal blow.

“[Name]!”

The poison flowed through your body with vigour, making you fall in and out of consciousness. Levi caught you just as you were about to give up.

With his features contorted with rage, he turned towards the female angel. She smiled triumphantly.

"SOLDIERS!" Levi bellowed. "Attack her!"

The woman got her spear ready and took charge while Levi's army flew past Levi at top speed.

The legion of angels he had been fighting looked on with hope.

The leader of the opposition commanded in a muffled tone, “Attack [Name] together while Leviathan is distracted. That way he will lose his intention to fight.”

Someone put a dagger through Levi's back but despite not understanding the source of the pain, he shielded you with his body. He prioritised you over his own life.

"Soldiers! Protect [Name]!"

It was too late. His eyes felt heavy owing to the poison in the dagger. He couldn't even see where his sworn angels were for the last time or who had been his nemesis in the end.

You both fell together. If you couldn't be alive together, then you two would be together in death.

༺☆༻

“I wish we had a normal life together. Then, we wouldn’t have had to live like outcasts,” Levi whispered when he saw you struggling to keep your eyes open. “As long as I had a chance to live with you, I was happy being an outcast. It seems that our time is up now.”

Levi cried, not because of his condition, but to see life draining from your eyes slowly. “I-I am the happiest angel that’s about to die, [Name]. I am sorry I couldn’t protect you in this life.”

A tear ran down your cheek, “I am sorry too for breaking my promise. I couldn't be with you forever. I couldn't protect you in the end either… I hope we meet again, Levi. I will love you in every lifetime.”

Your hands were intertwined, a locket in your grasp. A locket that enclosed your happiest memory together.

༺☆༻

The flashback ended and you both came back to your senses.

“Ouch!” you yelled and tried to pull your hand back. Levi had it in a tight grasp.

On seeing the fear etched on his face, you got quiet and took a deep breath. It had all felt so surreal.

“What just happened?” you murmured, the full burden of the flashback just setting in.

He looked at your entwined hands and noticed the absence of the locket. He felt a pang in his heart. He only knew that it had been important once but he didn't understand how. Surely it was no merch so why did he care so much?!

“I th-think it was the locket," he blurted out. "When we bo-both touched it, we finally saw the… the entire dream.”

A thoughtful silence filled the room.

You whispered, “I don’t think it was a dream.”

You squeezed his hand gently before looking at him with bated breath.

His lower lip quivered, “I don’t think it was a dream either.”

He turned his gaze towards you. His grip tightened, “D-Did I ever tell you that I am glad we met? I'm happy that you're not a dream. I want to keep knowing you, to make more memories with you. Will you let me?”

༺☆༻

Two people, seated in a small room, forgot the game they had been playing and instead glanced at each other at the moment. Their eyes held tenderness and the advent of new love.

The vast world danced with endless possibilities for their future. No moment was wasted as they decided their own future, unsullied by their past but still keeping their spirit alive.

It was a life they wanted and that was good enough.

#obey me #obey me x reader #gender neutral reader #gender neutral mc #obey me x mc #obey me!#shion script #obey me scenario #obey me leviathan #leviathanbday2023 #leviathan x reader #leviathan x you #leviathan x mc #obey me levi #leviathan avatar of envy #obey me imagines #i feel like i could have added something more or done a better job ;;;;

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notwithoutsins · 4 months ago

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@blcdcarnage continued

His words brought a smile on her lips. She could feel her cheeks warm with a blush. She held a cup of coffee in between her hands, her gaze stared down at her hands. How was it he could say anything, and it made her feel so warm? He was soft around her, she noticed that after their first meeting even if he was an asshole in the beginning. The way he looked at her, talked to her. She knew it wasn’t because of her, it was because she resembled his Nora. That part still didn’t make sense to her, and it got her thinking of looking into her family to see if there was some kind of connection. She knew that would be some work, but she had to know. That was for a different time She felt almost bad for feeling happy, it felt like she was betraying her late husband, Daniel. Her smile faltered then, fingers idly running along the side of the cup. Ever since Daniel was killed and her near death experience, she felt like no one treated her the same. Maybe she was overthinking it, but she saw the looks, heard whispers. They treated her like she was some fragile doll that needed to be handled with extra care, like it bothered them. She wasn’t fucking fragile, she was angry, she was exhausted, and she just needed some to actually give a damn. She knew that she didn’t make things easy for anyone. She was distant, giving the cold shoulder. Could they blame her she was dealing with a lot, and it never seemed to end. Her eyes raised then to catch a glimpse of Levi. She watched him and felt that familiar stir of emotions swells in her chest. He did things to her that scared her a little. Of course she found him incredibly gorgeous, but could she trust him fully? It was foolish of her to even think that way. He wouldn’t be interested in her. She pushed that thought from her mind, pushing back a strand of hair back behind her ear. “You would be surprised how many people don’t give a shit about me.” Her voice came out strained and full of emotion. Rosemary dropped her gaze then, she could feel the burning of tears threatening to fall, but she was damned if she was going to cry. She gave out a shaky breath. “You don’t have to, you know, show me kindness. You don’t even know me.”

#╰┈➤𝑹𝑬𝑷𝑳𝒀 #blcdcarnage

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levis-coffeecup · 1 year ago

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chapter 20| Through the Storm

WC-4.9k

Summary

The underground is filthy and dark. Dim lights, dull alleys, and desperate hearts. A place Levi knows as well as the back of his hand, and a place he would do anything to get out of.

Chapters of life roll by and with the turn of a page, things drastically change. In front of him is the opportunity to live on the surface. And the flimsy bridge that he has to cross. From an uncivil criminal to a disciplined soldier.

But life on the surface seems tougher amidst all the mockery, civilities, and the gaping hole left in his heart, after the demise of his dear friends Isabel and Farlan.

Content/Warnings

canon- compliant, canon-typical violence, spoilers for No Regrets OVA, descriptions of PTSD, grief, depression, heavy angst and themes, strong language, self-hate, physical assault.

Author’s Note

Hi guys!

It's been long. And I am incredibly sorry for promising to publish chapter by Sunday, yet doing that today. I feel incredibly guilty, like I've been taking everyone who reads this story for granted.

I've genuinely been quite busy. I have my college, my part time job and I also have to cook and clean for myself. And in all honesty, I've also lost my interest in completing this fic. So i have to push myself, rather than actually looking forward to writing it. But I'm not giving up on it yet, I've promised a few people that I will get it finished, and so I will.

@musumusuhasi a huge reason for one of the scenes in the chapter is because you told me Mae was always very cutesy, and never strong. I hope I've made that better, and if not please do let me know! (And if you don't read the fic anymore, then that's understandable too:)

Also since I've posted after a long time and if you've forgotten what happened in the previous chapter; here's a recap. Mae and Levi attend Ivan's wedding. Mr. Mendes is still mad at Mae and yells at her about Levi being a bad decision (ends up revealing that Levi is an underground thug.) Mae feels defeated because Levi didn't tell her this and starts losing faith in their relationship. She talks to Ivan, and Ivan comforts her, and lets her know that Levi still loves her, and their love for each other is pure.

Song for this chapter is I can't help falling in love with you.

Chapters

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

Masterlist | Playlist | Other Works

JAN 847

The wind growls, as it blows harshly. The morning sunlight barely reaches the ground.

In the stroke of a night, the rain has turned into snow. The first snow of Mitras, but it seems more like a storm. And Mae is not prepared at all.

Her fingertips have gone numb, and the ache in her head seems never ending. Her dress is wet from all the snowfall. And she shudders as she walks through the snow covered ground.

It feels like death is close. Her entire body shivers, almost violently. But a certain fire inside her keeps her going, despite the odds.

The world seems abandoned, people stay cooped in the warmth of their houses. And pellets of snow hit her head, as she walks ahead. It’s been hours since she’s been on the road. And she swears she wants to cry tears of joy when she finally spots the two-storey building with the Military Police symbol painted on it.

Her pace fastens, and with the last of her energy she pushes past the gate.

And everyone at the police station looks up, as they see a young lady on their door. Drenched from head to toe, turning blue from all the cold.

“I-I h-have a missing c-complaint to file,” Mae speaks in between shudders, leaning against the doorframe, tired enough to collapse at the moment.

And the officer in front gets up. He decides he doesn’t think too highly of her. For one it's way too risky walking out in the snow so underdressed. She could have died in some corner, and no one would have even noticed.

Nevertheless, he takes one of the coats hung on the wall and offers it to her. “Here, you’ll die in the cold if you dress up this way, miss.”

And Mae still shivers from the cold, But her eyes are resolute.

“Sir Ellias, “ she reads the badge attached to his shirt. “I have a missing complaint to file.”

And Ellias gawks back at her, sizing her up.

He doesn’t understand what brings her here. Wearing no gloves and a light jacket in a fucking snowstorm.

And so he wraps the coat around her trembling shoulders, and leads her towards his desk.

“Levi… his name is Levi.” Her voice comes out raw and vulnerable.

Levi has disappeared. She has checked everywhere. He wasn’t in their hotel room. He wasn’t anywhere near the wedding location. And he wasn’t even around all the popular tea shops in Mitras.

His wallet lays on their hotel bed, long forgotten. And the suitcase, packed with half his clothes, remains untouched too.

It's been 8 hours since Mae’s talk with Ivan, and there is still no sight of Levi. She has waited for him the entire night, and now the snow on the ground is at least a foot high.

It's too late… She worries something must have happened to him.

A young lady places a tray of warm tea on the table. Its smell wafts through the air, and Mae’s eyes well up. The drink warms both her throat and her heart.

She just hopes Levi is alright wherever he is.

“The name is Levi you said?” Elias reconfirms as he puts it down on paper.

“Mhm,” she nods vigorously. “He is quite short but his build is strong. His skin is pale and his eyebags are really big and prominent. His hair is black and he works in the Survey Corps… He also has-”

Elias stops writing. Face morphing into one of confusion. ”Wait…” he cuts her off. “Are you talking about Humanity’s Strongest? Captain Levi? Or is this someone e-”

“Yes.” Mae answers, exasperated. “It's him, he’s gone missing.”

Hope glimmers in her eyes.

People know Levi, and she’s one step closer to finding him.

But disbelief settles in Elias’s.

Slowly it shifts to mirth. A beat of silence passes by, and then a soft chuckle escapes his lips.

“What the hell, why are you laughing?” Mae scoffs, eyebrows scrunching in disapproval. ”This is a serious matter.”

Her words only makes him laugh louder. It adds to Mae’s temper.

“EXCUSE ME.” She bangs her fist on the table and gets up. And even though exhaustion is heavy in her voice, her eyes burn bright red.

“Have you ever seen that guy? Is this some sort of a prank?.” He speaks in between laughs. “Even death would be scared of him.”

“So you are telling me he couldn’t have been caught up in this snow storm and might need help?”

“He is fully capable of protecting himself… you’d know that if you’d met him.”

And Mae’s lips tremble as she remembers the last time she saw him.

He wasn’t even able to meet her gaze. He looked so vulnerable… Like a kitten left astray.

“He’s not made of stone.” her voice comes out as a whimper.

“But he’s got a heart of stone,” Ellias rebuttals as he crumbles the missing form and tosses it towards the bin.” Humanity’s strongest can look after himself… There’s a reason why he’s Humanity’s Strongest…”

And Mae gapes. Her head throbs, with the texture of pain. Her body aches for a minute's rest. But somehow she finds the energy to create a scene.

And she leans forward towards Elias, with her hands placed on the table and her arms stretched straight

“EXCUSE ME…” she sneers. “I’m here to file a missing complaint and it's your duty to look into it. Instead you’re telling me that I’m lying... Just because you’re a lazy bum who can’t get himself to work… people like yo-”

The door is yanked open with a bang, Mae flinches and Elias looks towards it.

Out comes a tall - middle-aged man, wearing a large black overcoat and a… bowler hat even though he’s indoors.

His jet black hair is gelled to the black. And his face sports a pronounced scowl. “OI!” He calls out. “What’s all this ruckus this early in the morning?”

The atmosphere suddenly changes, and Ellias straightens himself. Slightly scared.

“Sir…” his voice trails off, a lump forming in his throat.

“I have a missing complaint to file, I’m afraid it’s not being taken seriously.” Mae beats him to it, as she pushes her chair back..

“He doesn’t work in that department,” Ellias pokes in, but Mae moves ahead regardless

And Kenny smirks in glee at the sight of her.

Missing complaints are not something he concerns himself with. He’s here to work for the King,, not to solve some minor civil problems and save some damsel in distress.

But he’s bored, and she’s a wreck. It will be good entertainment.

“Sir… Captain Levi has been missing for the past 8 hours, and we all know how harsh the snow storm is.” Mae explains , hoping she receives the help she’s here for her.

And Kenny’s eyes blow wide, more with concern than surprise.

Captain Levi. The title sounds pleasant to his ears.

Now he can’t help but stay.

“See, I told you she is crazy” Elias sputters to cover up. “I think the cold has gotten to her head or something… which maniac walks out in the cold like that.”

“THE COLD HAS NOT GOTTEN TO MY HEAD.” Mae’s eyes flash dangerously at Elias, and she shifts her attention towards Kenny. Deeming him more competent.

But Kenny only lets out a snicker. “He’s strong, he can take care of himself very well.”

I’ve made sure of it. He wants to add. But some things are better left unsaid.

“AND HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? YOU DON’T KNOW HIM? HAVE YOU EVER EVEN MET HIM?” She yells, absolutely appalled at the insensitivity of these men.

And Kenny takes a step towards her too, towering a foot above her. His nostrils flare in anger, and he glares at her, his aura almost threatening. Not a lot of people have had the audacity to speak to him in such a way. “Who are you to him?” he seethes through clenched teeth.

But Mae doesn’t back away either.

“I’m his lover.” she spills out, without an ounce of hesitance.

Sheer surprise flashes in Kenny’s eyes for a second. Slowly it fades and the creases under his eyes melt into that of laughter. “Aah, that runt grew up finally.” he chortles

And Mae looks at him, appalled and disgusted. “And who are you to him?” She counters . Half in mockery. Half in contempt. He doesn’t even wear a badge that tells his name. She’d be surprised if she’d find even one reliable officer in this damned place.

And Kenny falls silent for a millisecond, face conflicted.

“….Nothing.” He lets out a weak laugh. “Just go back home, you’ll find him there.”

And then he takes a step back in resignation. A little emotional, a little exhausted. “Take good care of him.” he mutters under his breath, before he coops back into his cabin.

—--------------------------------------------

A heavy sigh falls from Levi’s lips as he steps into the premises of the Survey Corps headquarters. The midnight moon shines over. And the stone walls embrace him, it's cold grays have never seemed so inviting.

It’s been an entire day on horseback. Nevertheless he should be grateful the stable manager at Mitras recognised him, and rented him a horse, free of cost.

And as glad as he is to be here, there’s also a heaviness in his heart that he can’t shake off.

It's the kind of pain that only Mae is capable of causing.

She isn’t next to him.

He left without a thought. Running away from the haunting unhappiness in her eyes. And now he’s left with only his feelings to keep him company. Cold and empty.

He wonders if the marriage went out as planned? Were the celebrations as grand as the decorations? And was the buffet as large as they were setting it up to be?

Most of all he wonders if Mae is okay? He wonders, if just like Kenny, that was the last time he saw her as well?

Memories of yesterday trickle into his mind. The disappointment in her eyes, and the complaints in her mind. And he sighs, exhausted. Wondering if the heaviness in his chest will alleviate.

He needs tea, he tells himself.

The torches on the walls flicker, dimmed by the constant breeze. Winter is just around the corner and darkness engulfs the hallways.

And Levi relaxes a tad bit. Finding solace in his darkness, it’s what is familiar to him.

He rounds the corner and enters the kitchen. Sadly for him, a familiar brunette is already seated on the dining table next to the kitchen.

Hange. His features twist into a scowl.

They are the worst person he could possibly find at this time.

And Hange swivels as the sound of his footsteps reaches their ear.

“Levi!” They exclaim. “You’re back early.”

And Levi looks at them coldly, completely ignoring their existence.

He was so close to sulking. But now he looks emotionless again. It's like something has shifted in his head. And now the person next to him will only face his anger, never his sadness.

He makes his way to the kettle. And he prays that Hange stays put in their chair.

But Hange is relentless as usual. Hyperactive, and curious. They spring up from their seat and follow Levi into the open kitchen. Ready with their barrage of questions.

“So how was the wedding?” Where is Mae?” It's probably the dim candlelights that impairs them from seeing the scowl on Levi’s face. A few moments more and he will snap. Hopefully in a tame way.

“Don’t tell me you dropped her back home, this late at night?” They wiggle their brows suggestively, as they linger behind him. Watching him boil the water from over his shoulder.

And Levi doesn’t even turn to look back at them, as he puts his hand on their shoulder and pushes them backwards. “Fuck off, “ he threatens

Hange’s lips part. Usually with Levi, they can never tell when he’s mad, because he always looks mad. But tonight, the anger in his voice is primal.

And they can only head back to the table, and shove their head back into their research books. Looking over occasionally to give Levi a onceover.

He looks at the pot of boiling water a little too hard. His jaw is clenched tight, and his footsteps are a little too loud.

His hands shuffle through the cabinets. Banging the shelf doors shut. And Hange doesn’t understand how Levi doesn’t recall the spot he’s specifically designated to his beloved tea. None of the other Survey Corps seniors are even allowed to touch it.

Frustration fills him up, and he curses, rather loudly.

And the Levi in front of Hange, is completely unlike the Levi they’ve always known.

The Levi in front of them is messy and unorganized. Grabbing a hot vessel bare hand, and then hissing at the burn.

The flipping of their pages stops, and all they see in front of them is a problem to be solved.

There’s an obvious tension in the air that drowns in all the quiet. And Levi finds himself falling into the endless pit of sadness inside of him, again.

He tries to forget the disappointment that he saw in her eyes. He tries to forget the things that Mr.Mendes said about him, harsh but so true, they still make his heart hurt. But its all too recent, all too fresh in his memory.

Mae was close to crying back then, he could tell by the way her lips shuddered.

He doesn’t understand why he still feels so sad. After all he knew that things between them were bound to end. He doesn’t understand why he always gets his hopes up, when he has a habit of losing people left and right.

And he doesn’t understand why he sits on the same table as Hange, taking the farthest chair from them. When he can easily take his tea to his quarters.

Maybe it's the fact that he’s been left alone again. And being in the vicinity of someone, even if it's someone as annoying as Hange, seems comforting.

Even if that comfort is temporary.

He’s so much of a disappointment.

Sometimes he wonders why Erwin and Hange keep up with him?

It's probably because of his strength.

The smell of tea floats through the air, but Levi doesn’t touch it.

And Hange notices. “I can’t wait for the day when you’ll marry Mae as well.” They chirp out of nowhere. Hoping to make him feel better.

And Levi does manage to throw one of the harshest stares at them, before he winces.

“She found out.” The words slip out of his mouth. Accidently, perhaps. It's one of the rare times where his emotions run so wild, they can’t help but take charge.

“She found out what?” Hange repeats. Their ears practically flying over.

Slowly they shift to the chair next to him.

And Levi sits rigid, holding his head where it hurts, it feels like the walls in his brain are caving in.

And yet, he fights.

He fights Hange’s company.

He fights his needs, his desires.

He fights himself. Adding fuel to his own struggle.

It’s what he has done his entire life.

It has left him worn out.

To the point where he doesn’t have the strength to resist anymore.

The walls around his heart are slowly crumbling down.

He’s lost her. His world feels dark.

“She found out that I’m an underground thug.” His voice comes out weak… barely above a whisper. The position life has put him in is hard to believe. Because here he sits, opening up to Hange of all people.

Kenny would disapprove so much of the emotional bastard he still is. Losing hope by a mere person leaving him behind.

But he does it for Mae, he tells himself.

And Hange’s eyes widen, surprised that Mae didn’t already know about this. It's abnormal, and unhealthy. They were pretty sure Mae was the person he was closest to.

A silence spreads, its claws fatal.

Levi takes Hange’s silence for judgment, and decides to go back into his invulnerable shell. “Doesn’t matter, things were going to end anyways,” he mutters coldly, and then he loudly slurps his tea.

And Hange still sits in shock. She found out, his words echo in their head. Which means he didn’t even tell her himself. “LEVI!,” They urge, breaking out of their stupor “Till when were you going to keep this hidden from her!”

Forever if possible he thinks to himself. He can always keep a few parts of him hidden.

And his silence tells.

“You weren’t planning to tell her, were you?” They question, but they know it's true.

The quake of his heel never fades , and his shoulders still slouch. They’ve never seen him look so defeated. He’s too afraid of disappointing. He’s too afraid of being abandoned. And he’s too afraid to voice out that he didn’t want Mae to know, because he was afraid she’d leave him.

“Why would you not tell her Levi….? Hange racks through the potential possibilities. “Was it because you were treated harshly by the soldiers when you first came in….”

Everything comes off as a surprise to them. They could have never guessed that all the taunts thrown his way were something that bothered him. Not by the look on his face anyway. Guess he’s a little more sensitive than they had anticipated.

“You were discriminated against in the Survey Corps, because it's the military and rules are important here. You broke the order, you broke the regulations so obviously people didn’t like it. Also your first impression was HORRIBLE…And just because everyone in the military condemned you, doesn’t mean Mae will too… You can’t pretend to be someone else and hide parts of yourself from someone who is in a sense your life partner Levi?”

There is a stiffness in the air that constricts. And Levi feels like he’s being put on the spot, when he’s caught vulnerable. He feels angry, he wants to yell, he wants to push Hange away… or maybe– or maybe he’s just scared.

And he sits there forcing his eyes shut as Hange’s words sink in. He’s repeated this mistake before, fitting himself into the likes and standards of Kenny, just to please him. So much so that sometimes he doesn’t even recognise the softer, more emotional parts of him.

“To love, means to accept the person for what they are…” Hange places an arm on his shoulder, and he looks at them, his gaze tender. “And if she doesn’t… then good for you. At least you know she wasn’t the one.”

And Levi does find Hange’s thoughts beautiful. But he also knows that no one will go to such lengths for him. He knows that he’ll be abandoned by the Survey Corps as well, if one day he wakes up weak.

He tears his gaze away from them. Knowing that if he looks too long, Hange will see through all his imperfections.

They have a habit of not keeping their nose in everyone’s shit anyways.

But Hange’s mind is already working at a speed that he should be afraid of. And they almost jump from their chair, as a realization strikes. “This is the problem isn’t it Levi!... The thought that she might leave you…. You ignored her because you knew she was bound to leave you or be disappointed in you in some way... You thought she was better off with Ivan, then you taking the pain of losing her.”

Levi’s eyes widen. They are threateningly close to knowing him.

“HOW DO YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?”, he seethes as he grits his teeth. Half embarrassed that Hange knows about his pitiful behavior with Mae when Ivan was here.

“I… I have assumptions,” they gulp. Fearful for once

The clock ticks, and slowly his features soften “Mae told you everything, didn’t she?” he sighs, as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Well but I’m always open to hear your perspective as well.’

“Oh fuck off Hange.” He sneers as he gulps his tea down, and pushes the cup to the side.

He feels horrible, so out of character, and vulnerable. But he doesn’t feel unsafe.

And he has a shit ton of problems that he knows he can’t solve by himself. Especially when it comes to Mae.

And what's the point hesitating now, when his pride has already been tossed into the bin.

“I don’t know how to keep her Happy Hange… It's not the same anymore, she’s unhappier, doesn’t talk with me too much.” He looks down, his voice somber.

“Says you Levi… the person she used to smile just at the sight of?” Hange’s voice is soft, their eyes full of genuine concern.

And despite his uneasiness with discussing his personal life out loud, and getting his behavioral patterns dissected by none other than Hange, he settles into his chair.

The night is long and Hange seems welcoming,

—--------------------------------------------

Heavy gray clouds conceal the midnight sky. The rains are relentless, boisterous with thunder. And fog wraps around the tall trees like a blanket.

The winds blow fast, Levi can hear it rattle against the glass windows.

His quarters are warm though, fire crackles in the hearth, casting an orange tint. And his cloak is leisurely draped over his shoulders.

Scented candles are lined up on his window sill.

And lavender tea he brewed for himself has now run cold. Halfway finished

It's something Mae made him do, when sleeping was becoming difficult.

She crafted a whole ass routine for him, to help him relax and sleep longer.

He drums his fingers on the table, sitting idle, Frustrated that he’s done with all his paperwork.

It feels so damn lonely. Like those days, when she’d quit her job from the Survey Corp and he was haunted with thoughts of her..

The sound of thunder fills up the space.

The temperature has dropped all of a sudden. Surely it must be snowing in the interior. And Levi feels guilty for leaving Mae behind so thoughtlessly.

None of them were prepared for snow.

Another round of thunder reverberates around. Lightning strikes and Levi shivers. The night is uncannily similar to the night when he lost Farlan and Isabel.

Just another testament of how he is not made for happy endings.

And he can only watch as every second painfully passes away.

Tick-tock, tick-tock

The fire cackles

Tick-tock, tick-tock

The wind whistles.

Tick-tock, tick-tock

The lightning feels blinding.

Tick-tock, tick-tock

A distant sound adds to the mix. It's rushed and heavy, pounding closer to his gates.

And Levi is pulled out of his reverie, as then the door barges open

In front of him stands Mae, with her hair partially drenched, and her dress splattered with mud.

The closed umbrella in her hand, makes a pool of water on the floor. Dripping wet.

His eyes widen.

And so do hers.

“Levi,” his name slips past her lips. And for once she didn't overthink. The umbrella in her hand drops to the floor, and the door behind shuts close, as she leaves everything behind and darts towards him.

She doesn’t hesitate, as she sits on his lap, and throws her arms around his frame. Surrendering to the intensity of emotions in her heart..

Levi's body tenses at instinct. His heartbeat picks up the pace and the butterflies in his stomach come alive once again.

It's just been 4 days, but he’s missed her so damn much. For a moment he wonders if he’s still daydreaming

And it's only when he feels her shivering against his chest, that he gives in. “Y-you’r-re c-cold,” he stutters, as he wraps his cloak around her. His hands splay over her back, rubbing it to warm her up quickly.

And she too, huddles closer to his warmth. The sound of his low baritone, brings her so much comfort, and she shuts her eyes close, to pause this moment.

Their breaths mingle, hearts beating in sync, together.

In this moment they are so vulnerable.

She cries, into his chest. And he’s made sure that nothing in his life is important enough to make him cry. But for god's sake does his heart sob with joy.

He looks at the messy trail of mud her shoes have left behind. And her fingernails that are dirty with grime. He looks at her shuddering shoulders and her hair, wet and cold.

She’s traveled through the storm for him.

She’s come back to him. Despite everything

And he doesn’t know what the future holds for them, or even if she'll be alive the next day. But he does know that no matter how cruel and brutal this world gets, his heart will forever be labeled hers.

Her hands leave his chest, before they slowly come up to his cheeks. She cups his face, as she pulls back and looks at him. Silence stretches between them. Or maybe it's the pause one takes to admire something beautiful.

And fresh tears fill up her eyes as she strokes his cheek.“Why do you make me worry so much? Couldn’t you have told me that you were leaving? I-I was so scared something happened to you.”

His knees feel weak at the thought. Like he’ll shatter to the ground, if not for her holding him so close.

And his breath shudders, sodden with emotions. “I-I’m s-sorry.” he gulps. Voice heavy with guilt. “I-I thought you would be u-upset. Wouldn’t w-want to n-near me anymore.”

“I would have wanted to hear about your past from you. I was more disappointed in the fact that you didn’t tell me, when everyone else knew about it... I am your lover Levi… I consider you my better half, then why is it that I know so little about you?”

In her questions, Levi feels a kind of reassurance. Perhaps it's the fact that she’s still making an effort to stay with him.

It's a feeling he can't put into words.

As if his sun-burned body has finally found the cooling shade of a tree.

As if his directionless quest has finally found a destination.

There is such a prickle in this moment, and the way she holds him, tightly, yet with gentleness. It makes him question all the nasty thoughts he has had about himself.

Because he was convinced that he was way too crooked for anyone to find any beauty in him. And yet she dares to sit on his lap, so close to him. Cradling him as if he’s something precious.

Words fail him. And he can’t help but think if he could just kiss her, and pour all his love into it. If he could kiss her and express all that his speech never could. They all seem so beautiful in the romance novels he reads.

If only he could kiss her and not succumb to his overthinking head.

And so he brings her hand closer to lips. His heart hammers, almost violently in his chest. And his hand shudders with nervousness. Yet he dares to take her knuckles and kiss it.

Hoping it conveys everything he can’t spout out loud.

That he’ll fight for her. Even if it's parts of himself that he’s up against. “I;m s-sorry…I’m s-sorry, I thought you’d h-hate me”

And Mae smiles as she looks at him. The first genuine smile she’s given him in months. “We’ve got to work on a lot of things to make this work,” Her words are blunt, but the way she delivers them is so gentle.

And Levi blinks up at her. Grateful that she has not given up on him yet. “We do…” he hums.

There’s fear in both of their eyes. The fear of messing up. The fear of losing one another. So many things still remain unexpressed. So many fears, desires, wishes. If only they were given a voice. Both Levi and Mae would know that their love for each other is boundless.

“You promise you’ll tell me everything and we’ll talk about us tomorrow?” Mae says as she tries getting out of his lap. Desperate in need of a shower

Surprisingly, his grip around her waist tightens. He holds her there, listening to the sound of her breath.

And despite the wreck Mae is, she finally feels so wanted. The butterflies in her stomach tumble. And she can barely contain her happiness.

“I will… “Levi presses a kiss on her forehead. “Now go take a shower, I’ll set up the bed for you.”

“Will you sleep on the bed, next to me?” she asks on her way to the shower.

And Levi never sleeps on the bed.

Because Levi lives every moment with the unsurety of whether he’ll make it to the next. He lives every moment considering the possibility that the titans might break in.

Yet now as he looks into her warm brown eyes, he can’t help but wonder if for one night he just lets loose.

The worst thing that could happen is that the titans breach the wall, and he ends up dying with her.

Indeed that sounds like a soft epilogue. To die in each other’s arms, to not die alone.

Everyone comes to this world on their own, and they die on their own, because inherently everyone is alone. And yet to hold on to each other, as they take their last breaths. To have a moment of bliss before death separates them.

“Levi!” Mae prods again. A brow raised in question. “Will you sleep on the bed with me?”

And his lips quirk up a tiny bit, as he timidly nods a yes.

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