#letters I can never send
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dear childhood best friend. you don't know me but you meant the world to a kid who would be quite alone & very sad for many years after you left their life. thank you for the love, however brief it was. it was not wasted.
#letters i can never send#chaos.txt#unrebloggable </3 this is a bit toooo rambly even for me#chaos rambles
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Reuniting with a distorted past.
Extra:(New personality tested gone wrong)
wanted to play with rin living in the aftermath aus aswell and had these drawings laying around to share so yay
Panel 1: Was buried alive.
Comic 1: Who are you supposed to be?
new friends
Comic 2: Misguided protection.
obito still sensing the warning signs of rin losing her temper. anyways they proceeded to be dragged into the ocean by rin like some sea monster
Comic 3: Finding out (Now what will you do?)
obito is harshly brought back from his delusions because now its not just kushina but rin too who he needs to ripped out the tail beast from
#naruto#naruto fanart#kakashi hatake#rin nohara#obito uchiha#naruto sukea#fanart#art#my art#sketch#drawing#digital art#hope i can add something new and if not may i shall add fuel to the fire for rin!! :)#So Rin loses ALL of her memories forever (kinda)#the only thing that remains for sure is the feeling of missing something that she'll never reach it again#she's alone and is left to roam directionless until she meets an elderly civilian that is also alone#she stays with her for a year+ but she passes away. But Rin with her new identity decides to walk forward (with love comes pain#but to love at all was the greatest thing to her.) She cherishes her new memories and won't let it stop her from moving on#inbetween this time frame she meets isobu in her mind after he gains enough form within her (who is also without memories)#Now WAY LATER she meets Sukea who looks like he's about to panic and she tries to help (which uh doesnt work too well)#but then Sukea joins her on her travels (sending minato an letter through his summons of rin being alive and forgetting the mission)#they both wander around (he doesnt know how to bring up their past) but then obito appears (always at the wrong times)#At first glance he's pissed but then realizes that this isnt fake AND its both the worse thing yet best thing to ever happen#Now Rin thinks she made two new friends who give her feelings of warmth but they both also reminded her of something old she thinks#PS Minato and Kushina are freaking out back in the village but can't do anything about it (Obito hasn't acted on his plans yet so yes)
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I was thinking about the weirdness of LaCE and the whole sex=soul-marriage thing again (as you do) and a thought struck me:
what if the way it works in cases of assault (or is believed to work by the elves; in this case it doesn't matter if it's actually what happens of just what they think) is that you don't end up with a full-on bond, no, but you do get bits of connection, like hooks stuck in your soul from the other person(s)?
And—if we run with the worst interpretation of the Celebrían situation—what if that's what motivates Elladan and Elrohir to be so determined to hunt down every single orc in Middle-earth?
If Celebrían left because she couldn't bear the feeling or thought or those orc-hooks in her soul (or the ptsd flashbacks and trauma that made it easy to assume the stories were true, and that's what was happening to cause her misery) and hoped that crossing the Sundering Sea would cut them off, or at least blunt them and let the scars heal...
Well, the twins know that you can't really sail back, of course they do. They know!
But Glorfindel did. And a whole host of elves came once, during the War of Wrath. So it's not that nobody has, ever. (They can look up and see their grandfather sailing in the sky every night, out of the Undying Lands. Maybe somebody could hitch a ride...?)
If they can make Middle-earth safe for her again...well, maybe she won't come home. But at least then she could, if a chance ever came to leave and cross the Sea again. She could.
And even if she doesn't, at least when they Sail*, they can tell her that they slew her nightmares, finally.
And maybe that will be enough.
#*i think the twins almost inevitably do eventually#probably not until arwen dies#(or maybe shortly before; maybe she tells them to leave towards the end because she doesn't want them to see; wants to put on a brave face)#but i think they do go: because what over here would make them stay and choose the doom of men?#all the mortals they've known and loved have died or soon will (including their sister)#while all their elvish friends and their parents and all the family they never met are over there#including the mom they couldn't save but can at least see again now#(which isn't to say i dislike or object to stories where they take elros's choice; i enjoy those too)#(i just operate under the assumption that they sail eventually in my stuff so that's the premise that i'm writing this idea under)#(others are of course free to run the other way with it)#(maybe they DON'T sail. maybe they stay...but send a letter with legolas and gimli to tell what they did for her; that they still love her)#(etc)#celebrian#elladan#elrohir#laws and customs of the eldar#rape mention#lotr#lotr headcanons#my stuff#my writing
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whatever you do, don't imagine a young J Corvin waiting every day at the end of their drive, hoping today is the day the mail carrier finally brings a letter from their very best friend
#i'm personally about to start sobbing#how many letters do they try sending#how long does that sweet gentle soul wait - I actually don't want to know#little too close to home frankly lmao#grandpa i don't CARE that something evil lives in fernweh and wants to eat me or control me or whatever - that's my bestie!!#I just did James's route and this part hurt so much worse#fernweh saga#like J is SO scared to ask MC if they can write this time & they're trying to be SO supportive--#--of the fact that the last time they tried MC was going through an incredibly difficult time in their life#but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt so badly#and like it's obviously not MC's fault bc they never even got the letters in the first place#but now I want to cry thinking about how my MC hugs James at the police station when they meet again and how he's probably like ???#my MC missed him and James is like 'weird reaction for someone who couldn't be bothered to write back'#'and shattered my little fifteen year old heart into pieces'#i'm making wild assumptions about the inner workings of J's mind here but anyway#j corvin#all i'm saying is if my best friend was ripped out of my life and I tried writing them I would be religiously checking the mailbox#probably far longer than I should but still trying to hold out hope
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max kaspar, the friendly ghost... hunter
#sims 4#ts4#sims#simblr#the sims 4#my sims#*max kaspar#he has no technological literacy <3 he spends his time touching grass and being mentally stable bc he barely knows what a simstagram is#other teens were sending dms whereas he was writing letters bc he had no phone growing up#still as an adult he doesnt know how to phone or computer. he mostly goes on there just to answer messages and emails and manage clientele#in a discord i wrote “Local man fumbles the baddies every time because he can never tell that they're flirting” and it's true.#cant even tell that he fumbled.
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Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee
dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.
jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3
#i had a couple different ideas for poems that were taken by the time i could go deranged for a couple hours to make this but as I looked#i was like WAIT NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JASON ROBERTSON YOU HAVEN’T SEEN MY TEXAS CAM and had to do it. also was STRUCK with the#sudden immaculate vision of the Dallas D as part of terfenol-D and could not get it out & robo is the most dance! person i know on the team#liv in the replies#dallas stars#jason robertson#nhl periodic table poems#guys i am plagued with visions and no execution skills!! every day i come here and learn one new skill on GIMP the way god intended!!!#today it was emboss. also cannot claim any credit for the pulse to the magnetic beat photo which is so cool that was one where i had a#couple and was like maybe i can do like crayon shockwaves like the art process video kasper showed? and then found that picture and was#like thank you lord stanley for knowing my limitations. thank you for your understanding in this moment it was a trial enough to make#expand contract dance and one would THINK i would have fucking learned from the claude animorphs tragedy!! i did not. but i did use the#shear tool and 3D rotate so at least if we’re animorphing it’s SLIGHTLY better. anyway me frantically doing this like WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT#WAIT FOR ME YOU GUYS ARE SO FAST i keep seeing all of these and just spinning around in circles until i get dizzy & fall down I’m so happy#the drive folder for this is just called joy!!!!! because joy this is such a cool idea but now because it brings me so much joy#i just saw the Travis dermott one and burst into tears super normal AND someone did exactly what i wanted with hydrogen which was the water#the ice!!!!! it’s so perfect!!! and cody ofc did silver lord stanley. like does it ever make you cry how beautiful & creative everyone is?#anyway if you see me post and delete this and then update it or change it no you didn’t it’s fine. but i wanted to be included#if i could make the dysprosium letters not have a white background i would I simply could not fuck with it at 1AM. we are hitting send#it may not look like it but i queue#pretend i spoke at length about the reasons why i picked all the pictures & the element just know that it’s there inside my brain u can ask#GUYS I TAKE IT ALL BACK I SAW NEONFRETRA’S ISOTOPES AND I COULD MAKE THE EDITS EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE THERE!! ISOTOPES!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!#get ready for the edits then. dylan magnesium my beloved child of stars who can never return… like i wish i could say anyone else but it’s#i KNOW number nineteens bismuth don’t make me Google how many years nolan played hockey but also there’s ej for stable so.. also half-life#actinium claude giroux my beloved… when i saw there already was a claude i thought maybe Brady too for that#I don’t know how but flerovium doubled magic is percolating in my brain as was promethium bad boy because I was like hmmm. tyler. but#couldn’t commit and THEN SOMEONE DID BAD BAD LEROY BROWN TYLER BERTUZZI TO PROMETHIUM AND BESTIE I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH!!! with cons#anyway shane wright germanium with juraj slafkovský but showing him very obviously not missing it. if jack eichel was not an asshole#the narratives WOULD be narrativing. you could argue for a sidovi here with the calder cup and potentially a best friend stealing narrative#(the most recent is cam yorke’s acquisition of jamie d from trevor zegras which would then require a yorkie one for silicon the other side)
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#☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⸺ behind the scenes. ⊰ ooc ⊱#me thinking about everything with hsr yaya when he's a mourning actor#the loss of his mom and gallagher and misha and how he leaves penacony to grieve among the stars#how his songs have gone from something festive and cheery and fun to melancholic and grieving#how he sings and sings and sings until his voice goes raw and he loses it. only to repeat this whenever his voice recovers#but it's never the same as it used to be anymore due to how much he's damaged his vocal cords#how he fucking HATES the nameless & acheron. how he trusted lumine with his whole heart.#how he told her about his mother and her being a self-annihilator and the dream is basically her hospice.#only for him to lose her forever. how albedo reaches out to kaeya as a memokeeper. tries to be there for him while recording memories.#but yaya is just so jaded and numbed. he's tired. he's lost so much. he can't lose more if he keeps himself away.#he doesn't care if everything was for the greater good. what good *is* the greater good if he cannot keep someone for once.#and then i think about yaya and haitham. because holy shit ven has filled me with brainworms on their potential dynamic.#how haitham & yaya understand each other more than anyone else. how yaya is able to navigate convos with haitham just fine#and even finds him to be hilarious with his humor even if most people dont get it. dont get haitham.#how haitham can see yaya's masks and his different smiles. his different personas.#how haitham would know khaenriahn and would speak it with yaya and how much it devastates yaya in the best way.#how they send each other little gifts. how they sign off their letters to each other.#how they think of each other in their day-to-day lives#how *liberated* they both feel being near someone who understands them while also being afraid of being known#i just. im IN MY FEELINGS#IM GOING TO FUCKING SCREAM
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just officially sent in my resignation for my fucking childhood dream workplace
#my boss always talks about her 'guilt complex' lmao. as soon as i have another job and dont need to worry about burning bridges#im sending this bitch a letter detailing exactly why she deserves to feel guilty for the rest of her fucking life#i hope she lies awake at night picturing my face. fully intend on letting her know how close i came to killing myself.#fully intend on intentionally continuously saying its bc SHE MADE ME anxious and SHE MADE ME depressed#since she doesnt believe she can make me anxious#i hope she has to attend therapy. i want to make her feel as guilty as she made me feel like fucking shit#fully just wish nothing but the worst for her for the rest of her lonely miserable life. i hope she realizes soon that everyone hates her#truly one of the people she considers to be a close family member also works in our department and hates her!#talks all the time about how awful she is and how horribly she treats all of us#i hope she feels that hatred every day of her fucking life and i hope she never sees true happiness as a result#until the day that my memories of my childhood refuge from abuse are no longer tainted by HER abuse‚ i pray she never knows peace
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guy who is so bad at writing letters voice hey maybe i should write this person a letter
#i can write messages in holiday/birthday cards. i could send letters to friends#but vaguely professional letters to someone i do not know at all???? cant do it!!#its like. euighg not only do i feel like such an imposition but i am also like. nobody. no one. what right do i have to send a letter#and even IF somethinggggg came about because of it. which is an INCREDIBLY slim chance#what do i do. lets say this person was like youre absolutely right go make a documentary#i dont know how to make a documentary!!!! ive never done anything!!! im booboo the fool and all im trained to do is customer service#maybe i could like. get a rough outline . ish. for the hypothetical documentary#i don't know. for some reason my brain thinks this is a good idea to pursue#is it???? would anyone care?????? AGH#i dont know . i have no idea if ill actually even do this but this is my latest creative crisis
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alright lads (gender neutral) chaos posting time I need Sapphic song recs I'm making a playlist but I only have two songs bc apparently this is a particular niche that my standard music taste doesn't touch. so far I have Untitled God Song by Haley Hendrix and The Stranger At My Door by Brandi Carlile. also I'm thinking of changing my name actually and for real. that is irrelevant to the rest of the post I'm just kind of putting it into the universe to see how it feels. I've been considering the name Cedar. anyways. lesbian songs please and thank you bye
#littletalks.txt#sapphic#screaming really#idk man we're having a real one over here I spent all morning drafting a letter to my father that I'm never going to send and a letter to#the girl I like but also just want to be friends with that I might send if it ends up making enough sense god help me#I have work in a half an hour and idk if i can do this today boss im gonna be honest#YIPPEE!!!
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Oh god.
This summer you sent our mutual friend a package, to get to me. An heirloom, a bit of camp history. Passed down to me.
And on that package, your phone number and address. Your phone number, that I had long deleted from my phone because the urge to call you was always too strong.
When I last saw you in person, you said that when you finally moved to the city it would be with your girlfriend. You would move in together. And surely, she would become your fiancee and then your wife.
There it is. On the package. Your new address, in the city.
I have to keep myself from calling you right now. You probably have my number blocked, and I truly don't know what I'd do if you answered. But I would give anything to hear your voice again.
Even if it's just you saying, "Hello? Who is this?" While her voice is in the background, asking you what you want for dinner.
At this point, I don't even need to be the voice in the background asking what you want for dinner.
I just wish I could be the voice on the other end of your phone call.
#idk if this made sense. its 4am#but storytime i guess#years ago. like four now. i had a best friend#i loved her so much. truly i was in love with her. which was the problem#she had a girlfriend. im sure you can guess where this is going#she cheated on her gf with me. i felt guilty and made her tell her gf. months later but better late than never i guess#her gf made her choose between us. understandable. she chose her gf. understandable#so i got a call one night from her. where she said we could never speak again. we couldnt be in each others lives. and i deserved that#it still killed me though. it still kills me. i havent recovered#but this past summer she sent a package to our mutual friend. for me#just something from the camp we both work at. and there on the package was her phone number and address#two years after she left me she volunteered at the camp i worked at and she used to woek at#we ended up talking. and being friends for that one last week. and she mentioned that she wanted to marry her gf#and move in with her. in the city. so when i saw her city address... yeah#i took a picture of her number and address before throwing away the package. something i remembered tonight#its just sitting in my camera roll. her number and address#and i could never call her. never send her a letter#idk what the point of this storytime was#but this is some half decent writing for 4am#i hope you enjoyed
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nobody talk to me i've been emotional all week over king's dad having kept an eye on him his whole life from The In-Between. much like spinel, i will never be able to watch the series the same way again
#liz blogs#toh#the owl house#king clawthorne#i dont know what to tag his dad as. uh#the titan#papa titan#yeah thats what came up and i'll use it#this trope comes for Me specifically every time. i will never not weep my eyes out over it.#and with the suggestion that the titans can control the weather and shit#i am remembering when the titan trappers sent that letter and hooty ate it because there was a bug on it#yeah that was god vibe checking ur stupid letter and sending the bug to destroy it#mental illness please go AWAY i WANT TO DRAW TOH !!!!! I HAVE IMAGES IN MY BRAIn#i am cursed with Visions#you literally just have to show me a silly and or down to earth dad character and oops they're one of my favorites now#do not read me#i loaf you... shut the fuck u p...... weeps#yeah i just watched the episode for a third time with my brother and its just digging the brainrot in deeper#god. god. toh was such a good show. im so tired of every show i love getting cancelled.
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I will gladly let these feelings eat me up in time rather than tell you what I feel. "Take the risk or regret it". And to tell you the truth, I would gladly regret it.
I have grown accustomed to regretting most of my decisions in life. I'd learn to carry the weight of the unsaid words. I've gotten comfortable with the burden of decisions I didn't make to the point that I let it hold me each night and let the echoes of 'what if's' lull me to sleep.
Because, at the end of the day, I will gladly let these feelings consume me rather than have a chance to hurt you.
#letter no. 15#letters i'll never send#this was written for a girl I admire back in my senior year in highschool.#she's everything I dreamed of but I didn't do anything#because I know I can never be someone she likes#and I know she will find someone who will make her happy#AND I'M RIGHT IN PART!#because she's in a relationship now and both of them seems happy!#wlw yearning#wlw post#dear#spilled thoughts
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The array I've got here is so fucking wild, I swear to the gods. I get whiplash going from some muses who will smite you if you even look at them wrong -- and then there's other muses that fuck all the goddamn time with varying levels of needing to be invested in someone before they get nasty
And sometimes I have to fill out little sticker charts for when they go thirty minutes without having sex with their partner. 😐
#sorry for being weird last night. it's just because there's a bunch of shit wrong with my brain // mobile.#Muses I thought were v ambivalent towards sex originally: Amis#Muses that are the actual worst example of this bc they fuck like rabbits: Amis#Man's hornier than my cute little 'was originally a succubus' devil#APPARENTLY it's just a matter of him vibing with the right freak#Adopted children be warned: you can NEVER read ANY of the letters he sends to Ashen when they're apart#They might have their sweet moments but I PROMISE you you will regret having eyes when you get to the raunchy bits#Bc those always exist#Legitimately the funniest shit ever to me#Also ironically I think Asmo is my most ace muse#( I would say Methil but I'm not sure how much is cultural repulsion and how much is personal repulsion )#It's ironic bc he's v sex positive and is probably considered the embodiment of lust in some spheres#( pulling from the demon he takes his name from )#But also don't you DARE level any of that nonsense at him#...... Which is an exaggeration actually but??#You cannot fuck him#That's the main takeaway here
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something feral awakens in me every time i hear the intro song from a tale of thousand stars
#a tale of thousand stars#atots#atots my beloved#tian#phupha#chief phupha#phutian#i truly cannot describe how i feel when i hear that song#something in me desperately wants to have never seen it just to experience watching it for the first time again#but when i hear it the feeling i get is me remembering how i felt when i first watched atots#can you tell i love atots a lot?#i am once again rewatching atots#gmmtv should send me a thank you letter because i alone am responsible for like half of the views that atots has
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which was more culturally significant, the renaissance or hermitgang
#it all started when grian touched my redstone he played himself like a xylophone set on automatic doc monster is a savage with technical#skills and crazy vocal acrobatics i’m a legend of the nho with etho beef and double o docmc is coming for you seven fold i got rendog and#other firemen to douce the flames that you shoot at this leviathan iskall can try again you think i’m in hiding i’m just biding my time#putting pen to paper coming up with rhymes were the star studded group got together just to crush you once we start something you know were#going to see it through i’m the knight the soldier who brings the fight at first light y’all had to incite so now i gotta indict you’re#guilty of getting murdered with words y’all are outgunned go home nerds hermitgangx16 if you think you can stop the symmetry that’s false#gteam is dialling for help but i’m in ignoring their calls and when their bodies dissolve you know that false’s on a killing spree try to#stop my pvp and perish painfully i’m the queen of hearts heads and body parts your diamond armour can’t compare to my martial arts i’ll#send a poison dart to make you breath your final breath gteams name will be the only thing left caffeinated animated redstone innovator my#behaviour’s crazy can’t phase me impulse is never lazy tango why would you betray now my scope is aiming better run from cover from all the#ghast balls that i be taming without a sound without no hesitation my creations are amazing better watch your step or the gteam will end up#blazing whos the better team there is no controversy but before it’s said and done y’all be begging us for mercy hermitgangx16 x gone give#it to ya i’m gone give it to ya x gone give it to ya what lyrical boxing dropping blows on all my foes and the gteam they’re looking#unclean needing some sunscreen burnt by words this herd of nerds it’s ubsurd how my rhymes got them injured danger danger i got lasers to#cut them up like razors it’s flexing season and i got flavour their weak defenses like trenches and fences that these dense heads are#presenting they’re presenting them alright they’re not very good i could walk over them i could jump over them i could use an ender pearl i#could use my elytra come one gteam geez hermitgangx16 now i’m back and i got some things i wanna say what’s the letter that starts the#alphabet a ladies get it line the diggity be on the way cleo don’t know who she freaking with all the signs say to notify her next of kin#this digitty dog be dropping bombs nothing but hits spit that line again brrr cause the message is i could mumble rap and still be the best#there is hermitgangx16 oh you wanted me to do a verse i’ll have to check with gteam i mean i’ll have to check my schedule to see if i can#see if i’m able to do that sort of thing busy guy lots of things to do oh do averse bananas do a verse bananas i just don’t know if it’s a#good idea for me to a part of this song really#i just typed all of that out from memory im a little bit insane i think
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