#letter to my younger self

[bodhrancomedy]

A letter to my younger self (with a blocked nose so breathing is hard)

[survivingdivorce]

Hi, my fellow pals of children of divorce. How have you been doing? Have you been eating and sleeping well? Are you doing well? I hope you are.

Did it get better, somehow? Does it ever get better? I hope it did; and continues to always do.

You deserve your own happiness, and your own world. You are free to choose yourself and to become your highest being, your best and kindest version of yourself.

No matter how hard it gets, it always gets easier and better too, somehow... only if you focus on your progress and betterment. Let go of that person of your past. Let go of the ghosts of your past. They don’t have a place in your present life anymore 🤍

(Also, don’t you think we need to stop identifying ourselves as a child of divorce? It sounds weird and the pain is too old for that.)

You are so strong, I hope you know that. And after reading this, I hope you can accept that. Sometimes when you tell yourself that you are strong, or when people tell you that, you don’t believe them or yourself. So I hope you have the courage to believe that you are strong and I am immensely grateful of how strong you are as a person.

Remember, you are never alone. Things happened this way to allow you to become your best self and to send you to places so unimaginably beautiful you could cry just thinking about it. You are loved, without having to ask for anyone’s permission.

You’ll do great.

But most importantly, you’ll be fine.

You’ll be fine.

[katherine-ophelia]

Love should be freely given, not withheld.

to: younger self, from: older self

[dougwallen]

Bernard Fanning "Letter to My Younger Self" interview for The Big Issue Australia

[laikacore]

i reach back and i say,

“you are ten. it has been the hardest thing you’ve lived through so far, or the hardest that you can hold in your mind, and

it will only get harder

but it will also get better.

you see me here,

i’m nearly twice your age

and i’m still learning to be you.

you cry when you need to cry, you laugh when you feel to laugh

you run and you play and you sing.

here i’m undoing the damage

that will tear you apart for the next

several

years

but

now i’m learning

to cry when i need to cry and laugh when i feel to laugh

and eat and sleep and play what and when i want

and love and be loved

and not bend over backwards

for someone who doesn’t deserve it.

and like you i need to learn these lessons over and over again

and like you when i mess up i’m just looking to be loved

and like you i’m never going to stop

and for you i’m going to make sure

everything will work out just fine.”

for myself at ten by laika wallace

[casperolivervo]

A Letter For Little Me

This is also posted on my Medium blog, along with other writings of mine!

A letter as a trans man who's about to get my top surgery tomorrow. I decided to sit and write a letter for my younger self, and I figured I'd share it in case anyone else may find comfort in it/relate to any of what's said.

  Dear Little Me, 

  It’s Casper, aka you from 2023. Hope you like the name we’ve chosen! We’re now 27, and tomorrow is a very big day for us: we’re getting top surgery tomorrow!

  We’ve wanted this for quite a while, huh? Over ten years we’ve wanted this change. Over ten years we’ve wanted to make this body really feel like ours, and now it’s finally happening. I hope you’re not disappointed in how long it took, but are rather excited to know that it will in fact happen!

  For a long time we’ve struggled to feel at home in our body, we’ve struggled to identify with our birth name, we’ve struggled to connect with the life that many of the adults around us expected for us to live. We’ve lived on such a tight leash with such a painful muzzle for so long, I know it’s hard to imagine a life without it. I promise you: we will free ourselves, and we will make this body a true home for ourselves.

  As I prepare us for tomorrow, I remember how we used to cry to mom at night about hating our chest and our painful menstrual cycles. We would beg for mama to help us, working towards a breast reduction or getting on birth control to alleviate the pains, to alleviate the dysphoria.. she did what she could, but it never felt like enough. We didn’t know at the time, but our gender dysphoria was trying to communicate to us that something was off. You did the right thing to listen to the feeling, and I am so sorry that so many of the adults around you made it feel unsafe to be even more open about it. But I want you to know: there are adults who love and support you, I promise you that those adults will continue to fight for you in the ways that they can.

  We’re no longer in Indiana, we escaped! We moved to Florida for a while, but that wasn’t the place for us. In fact, Florida got worse than Indiana was in some ways. While being there led to many amazing and wonderfully life-changing experiences, we also would have been unsafe to stay. Us and our polycule (wife, boyfriend, and queer-platonic partner/QPP) are all now safely in Oregon. It’s like the best of both worlds: we live in a rural farm town again, but it’s far more liberal and diverse than in Indiana. We’re also still in contact with many of our Indy friends, even as many of them flock and flee to other parts of the world- or those who have stayed in Indiana to continue the fight to make things better. We’ve also made many wonderful new friends and have built a new family for ourselves.

  I know it can be hard to imagine, but we pursued what we really wanted to do: we’re an actor! You grow up to become a voice actor for podcasts, an award-winning script writer and stage performer, we’re doing drag shows as a pageant-crowned drag king, and we’re helping host murder mystery parties as we PRETEND to be a detective… I know you never wanted to actually be an officer of the law, and I promise we’ll never be forced into that role. In fact: we’re staunchly ACAB. (I promise you’ll learn what that means sooner rather than later). You never wanted to go into the military, and you did the right thing by backing out of that by any means necessary. I know it seems like dad’s plan for you is the only option that you have, but it is not, and we’re living a far better life than we could have imagined.

  Now that we’re in Oregon, we’re able to spend our time making art and helping fellow queer and disabled people.

  Before you fight me on it: honey, we’re disabled. No matter what dad said about health, we are disabled and that is a-okay… Our body and brain need more care, and I promise you’ll get the care you need. Our new doctor is wonderful and we have a medical team that believes us. We are not weak or lazy, we’re ill and our body needs extra care- like Sarah, ours is just harder to see than hers.

  We’re able to work with our friends and partners to make art and create resources for folks in need. We’re able to connect with people like us, or people that are so different from ourselves that it opens our eyes to brand new ways of life, and we’re made all the better for it. We’re able to help kids who grew up like us to live better and happier lives, we’re able to meet people much older than us who have so much wisdom about life that we’re finally able to receive.

  Unfortunately, mama is gone now… I promise you: it is not your fault. We knew that she would die before us, likely while we were young… but it isn’t the end of the world when that happens. It hurts, but we survive. Make the most of your time with her while you can, and when she’s gone we’ll find new ways to communicate and contact her. Our witchcraft is still very important to us, and it allows us to become even closer to our mama than we ever believed possible. You need time without her to work on yourself, and you’ll eventually be able to have a healthier relationship with her.

  Dad’s gone too, but not in the same way. We finally had the strength to cut him out of our life. You don’t need to worry about him, he’ll be okay. Cutting him out is going to be the best thing you could do for yourself. It’ll hurt and be hard, but it’s going to be such a freeing and liberating experience. He can’t control our life, he can’t force us into anything we don’t want to do, he can’t keep us in a box anymore. I promise you: life is so much better without him tugging on the leash or tightening the muzzle anymore. You will miss him and the good times with him, but you’ll find far better parental figures over time. And you’ll also find out that you are not the only person that he mistreated, and many adults did see how he was treating you as bad. You’ll have more allies than you could imagine, you’re not alone.

  Tomorrow is our first gender-affirming operation. We have the medical support we need for it, we have a community of loved ones helping us through, and we have the insurance and finances to afford it. We still are fighting to get other medical needs met, but it is infinitely better than it was in Indiana.

  As of right now, I don’t have much more to say. I still need to set up our recovery space and make sure the home is clean before I become unable to do chores for a while. But I wanted to give you a sliver of hope that things will get better, and I’m sure I’ll write more letters to you over time.

  Thank you for holding on and continuing to fight, I promise it’ll all be worth it. We’re still fighting for better, but we’re not doing it alone anymore.

  I love you, hun. I promise you’re doing great, and you’ll come to love yourself in time. Be kind to yourself until then, you’ve gone through a lot.

Sincerely,

  Older You.

IMAGE ID: a photo of my younger (still femme) self smiling in the rural Indiana countryside.

[sixbucks]

‘Dear Brian’: Read Brian Eno’s letter to his 21-year-old self

By Roisen O'Connor

Brian Eno is one of a number of friends and fellow artists to contribute to a project by Reverend and the Makers for their forthcoming album, Heatwave in the Cold North.

To mark the release of the band’s new single “A Letter to My 21-Year-Old Self”, frontman Jon McClure asked fans and friends to write their own letters imparting wisdom to their past selves with an exhibition held in Sheffield last night.

Read Brian’s letter below.

Dear Brian,

As clever as you think you are you could benefit from a little more humility. You hold very strong views but I suspect that this is often because you admire the other people who hold those views and hope that some of their worldliness will rub off onto you. Sometimes, you must admit, you haven’t thought those matters through very carefully, and yet you argue for them as though you’ve spent years thinking about them.

Although none of that is unusual in young men, it is unseemly in you. Your gift for absorbing information, and your good memory, make you able to chatter convincingly about lots of different things. That is amusing and people like you for it. What is not so good is the certainty with which you then communicate the mishmash of semi-random titbits you’ve gulped down. You would do well to listen a little more to others who have had lifetimes of experience - instead of a few evenings of reading books.

This is not to say book knowledge is to be sneered at - but neither is lived experience, of which, it must be said, you don’t really have much.

Have you ever asked your parents what their lives have been like, and what understandings they might have gathered on the way - having passed through, among other things, an economic depression and a world war? No - I thought not. They aren’t readers like you so you can’t understand what they might know, what kinds of things they might understand. If it isn’t written down you don’t think it counts. You might want to consider that most of the world, and most of history, has been populated by people who learned things in other ways.

So my advice is: a little more humility! Try it: you’ll like it. Stick to your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses.

Your old friend Brian (74)

XX

Heatwave in the Cold North is out on 23 April.

[nomorekillingbutterflies]

letter to my younger self

I hope 8 year old me is proud of who I am today. I hope she laughs until her belly hurts when she listens to the story’s I would tell her. we are finally happy now, can you believe that? mom still smiles like she always used to do. please never give up. it will get better. keep on moving. you don’t know what’s going to happen yet, but I am proud of you. for living. for living despite of it all. and especially for not loosing your smile. laugh when you fail, you don’t have to be perfect all the time. never say sorry for being yourself. your feelings are valid, don’t hide them. talk about what happened. about everything. they will believe you. there is nothing wrong with your body. I love you. fooling yourself into thinking it never happened is the most effective way to never get over it. so speak. choose to speak as loud and as much as you can. you will be okay again. someday.

- e.f

[pearl484-blog]

A letter to my past self

Dear past self,

I know you struggle with your anger issues, and it gets you into trouble. A lot. And honestly, your habit of chasing the feeling of anger despite KNOWING that it screws you over is....not helping.

I know why you're doing it. It makes you feel strong and powerful and focused in a world that makes you feel weak and keeps telling you you're stupid and lazy and will never amount to anything because you keep losing things.

I'm sorry to tell you, you have ADHD. No, you won’t believe me, and yes, I get why you're so frustrated. The meds are not the cure all everyone will tell you they are, and you'll want the behavioral therapy. I know how much you struggle with meds, and they have side effects. Side effects that will kick your ass. You're smart enough to know the first, and pessimistic enough to fear the second.

Use coffee on really bad days. It'll work similiar to meds, but it won't turn your heart into a jackhammer and you'll be able to eat most things. Yes, I know you hate the taste. Drown it in creamer. A lot of creamer. You'll learn the proportions you need and how to tell about how much coffee to drink.

The behavioral therapy though is your life saver. It will teach you how to outsmart yourself, how to plan ahead, and how to drag yourself out of the messes you are always getting yourself into. And I don't mean being a lying, manipulative turd. I know you can lie. But your lies aren't always foolproof, and you'll get caught. A lot.

Sorry. I can’t stop that. You're too clever to realize you can't talk your way out of everything. You're too passive to fight someone hard enough to get in serious enough trouble to get a wake up call, and your ADHD controls too much of your life to let you stop that trainwreck without the proper tools. You'll need a therapist, and a LOT of help.

What I CAN help you with is your anger. See, I know that everyone tells you to control your anger and your temper. They tell you over and over that you're out of control and you're a hothead, and that's not appropriate behavior. I can't make them stop. They will never stop even after you learn to get a handle on it. So you can't do this for them. You have to do this for you, and I PROMISE you, it is worth it.

The secret is that anger is not inherently bad. It's your mind's way of saying that a boundary of yours is being violated or that someone is bring unfair. It is TRYING to help you, but it doesn’t know how.

Your anger knows when people are treating you badly. Your anger can tell when you're being ignored or people think they're more important than you. It knows all the times people put being right ahead of you being lost and confused and unable to explain yourself because you can't think of the words and you don't want to sound stupid. It knows how wrong it is when you feel like you have to plsy dumb and say whatever it is people want you to say so you can leave without getting into trouble or digging yourself deeper.

Your anger is not a fire that you can smother into nothingness. It is a guard dog. Sometimes, it overreacts and growls at nothing, and you need to be the owner and let it know that you know what's up and you know that it's okay, that there's no reason to growl, but if you think you can outscream it, or wrestle it into submission, you're wrong.

You need to understand it. You need to learn to ask it what is wrong, and you need to hear it. Figure out what it wants and why it NEEDS to act. Bargain with it, explain what can and can't be done, but remember that you're going to have to give it some ground too.

Don't go hog wild. I know you. I know you're tempted. But you have no idea how far "if I don't like it, I'll leave and no one is going to stop me" will go. Because you CAN go. You can walk away at any time. You are there because you want to be. You do not owe anyone anything. No one has the right to put their hands on you to stop you, and if they do, that is full permission to let your anger MAKE them let go of you.

I know you are smart. I know you are clever. I know you are worthwhile, and I know you deserve love. I know you deserve to be heard, no matter how pointless ralking seems. I know you deserve to feel, no matter how ugly the feelings.

Don't worry about being kind. Being kind will come naturally, when your anger knows that you know you deserve kindness. You'll learn it more strongly and deeply than you ever thought possible as you learn how to tell what's bothering your anger, and learn how to see it in others. Just worry about you for now. The rest will follow.

I believe in you

[tearosewater]

I wish I could go back in time and tell you all about it.

You’re going to finish college. You changed your major, it suit you better.

You have a job where you get to roll out of bed at 8:50 AM and login in your PJs. You work in fraud and you’re really good at it. It’s not writing, or photography, or journalism, but you do best at those things in your spare time. 

You lived with your best friend for 4 years. She lives 20 minutes away now and you’re still best friends. You’re having sushi tomorrow.

Your other best friend died 2 years ago. So did your step-dad. You’ve been grieving a lot of things. 

You’re still with him. You love him dearly and he loves you. It’s been 12 years. 

You travel a lot. A couple times a year, at the very least. You see new places and try new things and actually have the money to enjoy it. 

Your mom is still your mom, but at least she doesn’t get under your skin as much anymore. 

Your little sister is one of your best friends. You did a good job raising her. 

You’re healthy. A lot of the ailments that disrupted your youth have dissipated, either through surgery or force of will. 

You still need to go to therapy, though.

But you’re not as volatile! Some might even call you calm now.

But you still cry a lot. That was never going to change. Yet its not the hours and hours of painful crying until you see the sun. You can’t remember the last time you did that.

You can’t remember the last time you intentionally hurt yourself.

You can’t remember the last time someone made you feel small, or insecure, or worthless. You don’t let them do that anymore.

You still write fanfiction, loser. Except not cause people actually like it and beg you for updates.

You’re okay. Go to bed.

[r3alisticreads]

What Will You Tell Your Younger Self?

Healing and self-forgiveness are essential when embracing self-love. Some people find it easier to release their emotions by forming a letter to their younger self.

This is a time to reflect and be open with yourself. You will be surprised how much there is to discover once you write your letter.

It is a self-exploration experience that you will find quite refreshing. What would you tell your younger self if you were to write a letter? You can start your self-reflection process with these journaling prompts.

[hyphensix]

Hi. I'm hyphensix, and this is a letter to my younger self.

Hey. I know you're going through a lot right now and things feel overwhelming and hopeless. I remember how it felt, like there was nothing within my power that I could do to change my life for the better, like I was trapped and my circumstances were insurmountable. But you're going to get through it and build a life that you never even thought was possible. You're not just going to survive, you're going to thrive. I know that's hard to believe right now, but you have to believe me, and I promise you'll get there.

I know you don't like who you are right now. You hate so many things about yourself, and you feel so much shame that you hide the real you. Nobody really knows you, because you're terrified of how they'll see and treat you if they do. That's a really hard place to be in. It's exhausting to keep people at arm's length while craving acceptance and belonging. You feel damaged, broken, unwanted, undeserving of love--but those things aren't true. You are enough, you are whole, and you are worthy of being adored and loved.

I'm not going to lie to you, it's not going to be an easy path to understanding and accepting your worth. You may not even be aware of it, but you went through a lot of trauma growing up. You never felt safe or comfortable in your home, or kinship with your family. You felt like you were always being watched, always being judged, never good enough. Your parents treated you as a trophy to be shown off, not a person with goals and desires--your priorities were dictated to you, your performance never measured up, and your wants were dismissed. You were never given real chances to follow your curiosity, explore your identity, or make mistakes--you had to be perfect, constantly, to someone else's image of what perfection was.

But you are your own person, and you don't have to be perfect or live your life according to someone else's vision. You don't need someone else's approval to pursue your own happiness, and you don't need to bleed yourself dry trying to make them happy. It's an unfamiliar, uncomfortable thought when you always took measure of your life according to someone else's standards, and you may feel lost and anchorless at first, but that's okay. It's all part of the process of standing on your own two feet. It takes time to build up those muscles, and you'll stumble and fall as you learn, but before long, you'll have the strength and independence to go where you want to go.

And if you find yourself struggling, give yourself the same patience you give to others who falter. Ask for help and give opportunities for others to help you like you help them. It's not weakness--refusing assistance when you need it, avoiding being vulnerable in front of others, and faking bravado is weakness of ego and character. You don't have to constantly put up this front that everything is under control and you've got it all figured out. As long as you keep putting in the effort, as long as you don't give up when things get hard, and as long as you understand that this journey isn't about reaching some endpoint and coasting, but constant and consistent incremental self-improvement, you will keep making progress to a better and happier life. And you'll find close trusted friends along that path.

There are things in your life that you can't control, no matter how much you want to. You can't change other people, they can only change themselves if they want to change. Conversely, you are the only one who can make changes in your own life. You may not be able to dictate your circumstances, but you can exert control over who you are: what you say and what you do. For so much of your life up to now, you've been reacting to things that happen to you, letting the swings of your emotions lead your words and actions. But it doesn't have to be that way. You can feel your emotions and that initial reaction, then decide deliberately how you're going to respond to the situation. Building your character, too, is like building a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it gets over time.

But you don't just go into a gym and lift random weights, you go in with a plan with exercises designed to get you to your goals, personalized to your current state and abilities. Cultivate that mindset of understanding where you are, defining where you want to be, planning how you'll get there, and what you'll do when you face setbacks. Start small, set realistic and achievable goals, and make steady progress toward them. You can't change the past, but you can move forward in the future. You can be the person you want to become. You will be the person you want to become.

I believe in you, and I'm rooting for you. I hope we'll talk again soon,

hyphensix.

[dietpillsanddietcoke]

“An Apology. A Promise. A Prayer.”

Dear Little One 

I’m sorry you’re hurting and I’m sorry the adults in your life have failed to show up in the way that you need.

I’m sorry I’ve failed to show up with love and compassion for the You that feels so broken and hurting. 

Little One, I know the darkness you feel inside… 

the hopelessness that envelopes you… 

the empty brokenness 

where healing doesn’t feel possible. 

I’m writing to tell you that it is possible, my dear.  

Hope and healing will one day become your 

immutable reality.  

It may take a while to get there, 

but I promise it will come. 

Darling, the next decade or so is going to be hard.  

You’re going to fight like Hell just to stay alive, 

only to be pushed back down as soon as you rise and hurt once more. 

But this isn’t the end of your story.  

Your heartbreak will not break you; 

your sorrow will not drive you to despair. 

I know this because I’m making a promise to show up for you in the way that others haven’t.

I can’t change the unsafety that’s happened, 

but I promise to protect you from the self-defeating words you use so often. 

I promise to remind you that you are worthy

(worthy of love and protection).

I vow to honor your hurt

(by not hurting my own body anymore)

My dear, your life is worth living

(not because of your achievements and successes)

Your presence and spirit is a gift.  

And if you died, Little One, 

there would forever be a You shaped hole in the universe. 

Don’t let there be a You shaped hole, my dear.  

You are too precious, 

too holy, 

and too important for this to be the end. 

Don’t leave the work undone. 

I promise to support you along the way. 

With Love, 

The Me You’ve Yet to Become

[twina1993]

A TikTok Letter to my younger self that I’ve recently posted. I was so nervous about even posting this even though it was a slideshow because I was so scared of what people in my hometown would say. I’ve also had did some blog posts on my blog site that I’ve had since my first year of college. Now I can’t wait to post more on there whether if it’s behind the scenes of my short films, photography projects and more.

[dougwallen]

"Letter to My Younger Self" interview with Ben Lee for The Big Issue Australia

[ayonnaraee]

I know i am, but what are you?

& when it comes down to-

what are you gonna choose?

I've paived my way- met my dues

& with everything to lose-

you still refuse.

yeah shit happens, you might fuckin bruise

don't let life shorten your fuse.

let life's lessons be your muse,

& somehow it'll work out, you'll live to see a different view.