#lets not. lets not make real people the targets of transphobia. lets not normalize transphobia. is it that goddamn hard

[mapicccc]

why is lstwt doing transphobia Again

[ceilidhtransing]

There's a great post going around about slur reclamation, and it reminded me of an issue I often think about.

Being part of a marginalised minority group does not automatically make you progressive.

So much of the lateral aggression I see in the queer community is so obviously just repackaged, rephrased misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, etc. And it feels like a lot of people take the kneejerk stance of “I couldn't possibly be homophobic; I'm literally gay myself!” even though there is nothing about being queer that makes you magically immune to having and expressing queerphobic attitudes.

We all grow up in a society drenched in all sorts of stigma, bigotry, taboos, prejudice, and rejection around queerness and queer people. Of course queer people are going to internalise that same shit, and it doesn't just disappear out of your head once you realise that you yourself are queer. Being actually progressive requires actively dismantling all that ambient prejudiced nonsense that we marinated in for so long and that we are still surrounded by, not merely “being part of a marginalised demographic yourself”.

Next time you're having a go at some fellow member of the queer community - and especially if your target is not an individual but an entire group of people that you're lumping together - think: is this actually any kind of valid criticism, or am I just replicating the same bigoted attitudes as the the rest of society?

Might there be a reason I have a hate boner for specifically “this type of queer person” that has infinitely more to do with existing societal prejudice than anything said group has ever actually done wrong?

Am I disproportionately targeting some people for things that I would easily let slide from other people, and why might that be?

Why am I jumping to assume this particular person must be dangerous, threatening, deceptive, manipulative, predatory etc? Have they actually done anything to indicate that, or am I just following dominant cultural models that insist that there must always be something nefarious about “that type of person”?

Why am I so convinced that there is a huge problem of “fakers”, “infiltrators”, “trenders” etc in the queer community - some enormous number of “people who aren't really queer but who are pretending to be” - and that it's of the utmost importance that these people are rooted out and expelled? Is this a real, actual problem, or am I just replicating the dynamics in mainstream society that brand various groups of queer and trans people as “deceptive fakers” or “dangerous infiltrators” or “cringe attention-seekers”?

If it were not me saying this, but instead, for instance, Republican Congressman Mr I Hategaypeople or Pastor Homophobe of the Dirty Queers Will Rot In Hell Megachurch™, would it sound obviously bigoted and queerphobic? Would what I'm about to say sound at home coming from the mouths of someone like that? Is what I'm about to say just a “progressively” reworded version of the kind of shit they come out with?

Is what I'm saying in any way advancing the liberation of queer people - and all queer people, not just the “normal” ones, or the “passing” ones - or is it just cruelty and mockery? Is it just punching down at queer people who seem “weirder” or “freakier” than me and are thus easy targets?

There are queer people whom it's valid to criticise, because being part of the queer community doesn't automatically make you a flawless person. But my god, we need to be careful how we criticise each other, and there are some who need to take a long hard think about where their attitudes towards their fellow queer people come from. Because “I'm so frustrated with trans-exclusionary gay people; it's horrible how they throw trans people under the bus in a bid to gain acceptance from a prejudiced society” is a valid criticism of a group within the queer community. “God I fucking hate all these cringey little tenderqueers these days with their pronoun badges and made-up identities and the way they try to make being queer their whole personality; their attention-seeking behaviour is making it so much harder for us real queer people who face real struggles” is not. It's just bigotry. And the fact that the hatred and prejudice is coming from other queer people doesn't make it any less queerphobic. It just makes it sadder.

[imstraight]

well ig since i walked out i can spill the real tea at my last job

extreme racism

extreme sexism/misogyny

extreme homophobia/transphobia (a supervisor targeted this trans girl who was so sweet)

sexual harassment on a daily basis. i reported it often and was laughed at. didnt really help that the worst of it was coming from managers/supervisors. so many incidents including getting groped by an 80 something year old dishwasher over the summer

cut hours with a promise we’d be back to full time (never happened the salaried bitches got a 1k bonus for sending 20 people home daily) none of us were approved for partial unemployment and couldn’t eat or pay bills

dishwashers got paid meals. cooks did not. we were threatened with termination if we ate uhhh it was called stealing. but we got a free shift beer which no normal person took! we were hungry and most people weren’t even 21

call out sick? no that’s a write up. you were expected to come in still and have a manager send you home. (this is why i walked out i just came back after 2 viral infections that almost killed me and my dr sent a note and i had medical paperwork as proof) any absence would be held over your head including covid, not coming in during a travel ban, etc…

begged for a raise. i did not get a raise. i was the only person with a soup talent. i can make a mean soup. i was told “i didn’t give enough back to the company”

do you care about your family? not allowed. your life was supposed to be just work

13 hour shifts at times no recognition no nothing

phones were not allowed to be even in your pocket (new rule riiight before i left) scary shit bc i watched my friend have an extreme family emergency and i had to step in and take her home

managers got fired for sexual harassment ONLY if they were caught with multiple minors. no adult accusations were believed

sick time that you would get in trouble for using

filthy work environment

expired ass moldy food

someone sent out a blade in salsa a customer actually found it idk how we weren’t shut down and no he didn’t get in trouble he just blamed someone else

food was sent out either overcooked or extremely undercooked

gas leak (i almost got fired for calling osha over the summer cause everyone was getting sick anyways it was still a problem when i left)

we had a fire one day on a GAS STOVE and my coworker was screamed at for grabbing a fire extinguisher. it was rusty and he couldn’t pull the pin. they got it out with corn starch 😺

drinking on the job (im not a buzzkill but it was extreme and these people would drive home hammered)

you want a raise? you have to fuck a higher up for that. this girl was fucking a supervisor and they got caught on the property multiple times. she got a raise. a girl who busted her ass working did not get a raise and she quit after she found out (she was very nice)

need flexibility because you have personal obligations? no you’re not giving enough back to the company

unpaid vacation that rarely got approved. over the summer i needed 2 days off for getting my college shit set up and my bf’s bday. i let this manager know over 5 times with notice. eventually i was tired of being ignored and went around her and sent a mass email to everyone else reminding them i would not be there. it was not a request i was NOT going to be there. they didnt like that too much

managers would regularly come in 30+ mins late. i had to step in and get shit set up for the day write out lists and get a good idea of what we had stocked (which was not my job)

FAVORITISM if you were a white man you were golden. all minorities were treated like absolute shit

good employees were threatened with termination over everything. they did not need a reason to fire you. they just did

harassment in general i almost got into full on fist fights trying to defend myself after people came at me

hr cared about the company. owners cared about the company. management cared about the company. they did not give a fuck about employees at all

no one had manners this bitch almost knocked me out with a door she dropped a box on my head. she never said “behind, sharp” yk all the common kitchen etiquette. i was advised by a manager to stab her?

benefits? nonexistent. i did get covid relief for 40hrs which they didn’t want anyone to know about. i told everyone (we were encouraged to come in with covid just wear masks)

annoying ass rude ass people that wanted to mansplain everything even if they were in different departments LOL. i cussed out people on a daily basis. it got to the point grown ass men were afraid of me because they didn’t expect me to fight back

good workers were threatened the shitty ones were promoted

and much more!

honestly fuck that place with everything in me. i have been debating on blowing them in for labor laws and sooo much illegal shit. they would get shut down for many incidents i didn’t get into

[genderkoolaid]

#op pls keep talking! & @palestrangermoon

you've let in the vampire thank you. also most of this comes from leslie feinberg's transgender warriors which has a whole chapter on jeanne d'arc & which everyone should read imo!

so when i say "trans history" i do not mean that "trans" is a Real Thing that exists. we made up being "trans" and we cannot say that anyone in history is Objectively Trans, like its a fact we can prove. but we can say that people in history shared common experiences with trans and genderqueer people of today, and by linking them to our modern construct of transness we get a fuller picture of the human experience with gender diversity. also, and i cannot emphasize this enough: women afab can be trans. men amab can be trans.

but also, jeanne d'arc isn't just trans history because she crossdressed. the story often gets framed as her wearing men's clothes to fight in war, but its deeper than that! both from a secular trans sense and from a religious standpoint (which makes her an important figure for trans christians). & this gets compounded with the impetus in art to make sure jeanne d'arc looks appropriately feminine. which can be compared to the ways that, before fe/male impersonation had a queer connotation, male impersonators had to make sure that, even in drag, they always looked visibly cisfeminine.

on one level, regardless of gender, jeanne d'arc was oppressed by transphobia. she was the target of blatanly transphobic attacks for her gender expression. she was called a hommasse, a slur for masculine women, her crossdressing "contrary to Divine laws" and "abominable before God". while she was also a military threat, her trial was about her crossdressing- that was the crime that she was charged with after they failed to find evidence she was a pagan.

specifically, her claim that her wearing men's clothing and cutting her hair was a God-given command. and yes, part of that command was also going to war, but it does not seem like it was just "you have to wear men's clothing so you can fight." To Jeanne, crossdressing was its own command. She said she would rather die than stop, unless God told her to, and that "were [she] still so dressed and with the king and those of his party, it would be one of the greatest blessings for the kingdom of France."

Its claimed that she repented at first and was sentenced to life in prison as long as she started wearing women's clothing again, and that she later "relapsed" and started wearing men's clothing. some TERFs have argued that she had to wear men's clothing to avoid getting raped- but she was well known to be assigned female. The clothes she wore would not matter, given that she was famous enough that actual monarchs wanted her dead. And Jeanne said that she chose to start wearing men's clothing again which was compared to "a dog returning to its own vomit." And it was this that allowed them to burn her alive as punishment.

So on a second level, this is a lot more complicated than a normal cis woman wearing men's clothes to a specific end. Jeanne viewed her masculine gender expression as vital to her soul. It was used as the justification for killing her, so she quite literally chose to die rather than present as cisfeminine.

And on a third level, she didn't refuse to present cisfeminine to make a bold statement about the right of women to wear pants or go to war. She did it because it was God's command. And if Catholic canon matters to you at all, she is a canonized saint. The Church has given her a big ol blue checkmark in the sky. If Jeanne believed that crossdressing was its own command, and not just a means to an end, then she believed that genderqueerness is a holy command given by God. Which opens up a wonderful new trans-centric theology! It creates space within Catholicism (and anyone else who cares about Catholic saints) to view transness as a special role which comes from Divine blessing. And frankly, this cultural impact alone makes her part of trans history the same way plenty of cishet women are part of gay history because of their cultural impact on gay people.

And the best part is, we can say all of this and also see her as part of women's history! Because women's history, too, does not have to be exclusively about woman-born or woman-identified women. It can be about a larger cultural experience. And Jeanne d'Arc suffered because of transphobia which is always fundamentally misogynistic. I would argue it even makes sense to say her death involved transmisogyny in a very literal sense. The thing about transfeminism is that it can free us from the need to view personal identification with the role of "woman" as vital to feminism. Being a woman, in whatever sense, is certainly not unrelated to feminism, but one can be a feminist and have any kind of personal or communal relatonship with womanhood. Anyone can be inspired by the story of Jeanne d'Arc and her bold defiance of both misogyny and transphoba, no matter how she may have personally understood her gender.

you too can piss off both the catholic church and cisfeminists at the same time by saying this one simple phrase: joan of arc is part of trans history

[cosmik-homo]

For some reason I literally cannot find the post where I talked about my rewrite of The Hanged Man Rusts so Brian actually explains the trans thing and still gets rejected by Arthur but I am once again thinking about it.

'But that's the Means-Before-Ends mode'- well ever in a moralistic and not utilitarian system of morality I think explaining Mordred is trans is The Better Thing Brian would do, not only because explaining more clearly he is alive will help in the Good Deeds of relieving Arthur's grief, but because as a trans person the idea that mentioning a person has changed their gender from the one assigned at birth is morally wrong and taboo enough for a robot that prefers to Do No Harm to abstain from it at the price of an entire planets life is kind of insulting to me?

It's too much like how conservatives try to sweep queer identities under the carpet in Polite Company, and besides, even from an ally standpoint...

There is nothing wrong with being trans, and while outing is an issue and is not ok, it is not objectively horrendous to discuss a trans person's agab or transition.

that kind of thinking stems from and helps uphold the idea that trans people universally aspire to be seen as Cis People Of Their Target Gender and to let no one know of their transness- it's the same harmful idea that leads to the prevalence of empahsizing passing instead of normalizing trans bodies.

There's nothing objectively wrong with a trans character in a narrative having some of their struggles relate to their gender or due to dealing with cisnormativity/transphobia, but since the mechanisms are, well, the mechanisms, they're trying to make queer normative stories, and in this story specifically, I am a little bit disappointed of it- because in my opinion, and even tho I think Arthur would have dismissed Merlin anyways, the narrative and wording sort of frames it like The Prophecy Is Not Getting Through and the basis for a happier ending is failing because of Mordred's gender change- if he were not trans, and Brian just sang of the return of a daughter, the narrative doesn't say what would Arthur say, right? The key to the tragedy here is presented as the miscommunication, instead of it being Two Factions Not Seeking Out Each Other, Despite Mordred's Attempts. I actually feel like I would prefer, if any trans struggle, a straight up 'mordred faces transphobia' variant to this round about 'my robot tried to be A Good Non-Outing Ally And Look Where It Got Us' variant.

Specifically I think "I Would Rather Not Mention About This Aspect Of This Person Because It Could Be Impolite To Acknowledge, even if it harms the efficiency of my request that you support this person" really rubs me the wrong way due to my experiences of Ableism that operates like this. Amongst abled people, they consider calling someone disabled a value judgement of them or an insult (incorrect, obviously), and sometimes their attempts of dancing around actively mentioning a person's disability can do great harm and great delay or barrier when it comes to the conversation of giving that person accommodation. Mordred is trans, and no longer Arthur's daughter, despite being at one point known in that way- and there is no need to sugarcoat or gloss over that fact, because in a queer-normative future, i would expect understanding that trans genders are valid and true as much as their cis counterparts- that manhood that is SPECIFICALLY TRANS is just as real as cis manhood, and being trans does not detract from it. the fact that a gender identity is transitioned into rather than born in does not make it any more fragile- Mordred's having-been-a-daughter does not make his manhood less valid, so there is nothing harmful in explaining it, and it's ok for a Means Over End robot's morals.

And again, this story is not that much about Brian's Means-Justify-Ends/Ends-Justify-Means modes and their ethical choices! That's a secondary theme!! Getting rid of this miscommunication and having Arthur reject him anyways brings forth so much more the themes of War, Peace and the ways the two groups view themselves and each other while also deepening and highlighting Arthur's conflicted characterisation, the idealized, disconnected nature of his grief- more for a concept of the past he had then for an actual autonomic child- and his tiredness!!!

Which is why you should try singing my version and see if you like it:

Arthur, my sheriff, I've news to cheer you

Your child yet lives, and drawing near you.

Been saved by tribes which you misjudged

Then he changed his gender and name.

You lived, and grieved you'd ne'er again see him,

But still he came though worried how you'd act*,

So recognise, embrace and believe him

And you may yet save your world.

Hanged man I don't want to hear it,

A family is more than blood.

I have enough men to protect here,

Let Saxon sons go as they come.

I've got all those I've trust around me,

This world is hard, and I must be too

There's none of that trust left for you,,

*'though feeling deceiving' once again falls into an uncomfy transphobic territory for me, but I think it is a good lyrics and if you are comfortable with having that you're welcome to keep it. Again nothing wrong with representing trans people facing transphobia, I personally don't feel comfortable having that line out of my mouth.

So yeah! It's folk music, ish, it's open to changes, and I still think about my version of the narrative now and again and want people to see it.

[cake-and-spades]

Tell me about internalized arophobia please, thanks

I have been struggling with putting down my thoughts/ feelings for this ask for months, and I finally just did what I do best and did some research. I looked up internalized homophobia and obviously not all of these will apply to arophobia (or to everyone) but it’s a good place to expand from!  I’m so sorry this took so long anon 😭

Bold text is taken from the Rainbow Project (LINK) with anything I added in plain text underneath.

Trigger warnings for things mentioned but not described in detail, take care of yourselves y'all:

homophobia / transphobia / biphobia / arophobia / etc

self harm

abusive relationships

drinking / substance abuse

suicide

pedophilia

(if I've missed any please let me know and I'll add them above)

01. Denial of your sexual orientation to yourself and others.

Fun fact: for the first like 2 weeks after I found out what aromanticism was I refused to identify as aro because of like, the crushing fear and disappointment and the belief I’d never be happy. And of course I *had* to experience romantic attraction some day, I just *had* to, *everyone* does. (Oof)

02. Attempts to alter or change your sexual your orientation.

Do I even need to explain this one? “Maybe if I just try hard enough I’ll start liking someone. Fake it till you make it, right?”

03. Feeling you are never good enough.

Personally, whenever I used to think about platonically dating people/ having nonromantic partner(s) I’d start getting down on myself and think “they deserve a Real (TM) partner, a Romantic (TM) partner, they deserve more than the disappointment I would be” or alternately, the thought that I’m disappointing my parents by not giving them a child-in-law & grandchildren

04. Engaging in obsessive thinking and/or compulsive behaviours.

Not sure exactly how this one could relate, perhaps in obsessively seeking out romance (in fiction or irl) or exposing yourself to it knowing it makes you uncomfortable ?

05. Under-achievement or even over-achievement as a bid for acceptance.

The whole who gets to be an "ally" because they aren't *really* LGBT+ comes to mind

06. Low self esteem, negative body image.

Self explanatory, but I will also add: not wanting to be seen as a Romantic Person, policing your actions and your body / body language so no one could ever see you as anything other than Platonic or friends with benefits. Disliking the parts of you that are typically coded by society to be "romantic" things.

07. Contempt for the more open or obvious members of the LGBT community.

Self explanatory but also: Gatekeeping. I’m thinking especially gatekeeping people who aren’t “aro enough” to be considered aro (you will always be "aro enough" as long as you ID as aro!)

08. Contempt for those at earlier stages of the coming out process.

Contempt for “cringey aros / aces who make the whole community look bad / childish / heartless” when they are just discovering themselves and having a good time (and many times are just kids)

09. Denial that homophobia, heterosexism, biphobia or sexism are serious social problems.

The thought: “Sure arophobia exists, but it isn’t a *real* problem like homophobia / transphobia / biphobia�� Alternately: “yeah it’s not perfect, but it’s not like I have *real problems*”

Also a personal note: I didn't like. recognize that we live in an arophobic society? Like society definitely wasn't built for us but Baby Aro me refused to understand that.

10. Contempt for those that are not like ourselves or contempt for those who seem like ourselves. Sometimes distancing by engaging in homophobic behaviours – ridicule, harassment, verbal or physical attacks on other LGB people.

This one is similar to the ones above.

11. Projection of prejudice onto another target group.

Terfs, gatekeepers, etc

12. Becoming psychologically abused or abusive or remaining in an abusive relationship.

Self explanatory :( But especially: staying in a relationship even though it's hurting you, whether because of your partner or just because it isn't a good fit for you as an aro person.

13. Attempts to pass as heterosexual, sometimes marrying someone of the other sex to gain social approval or in hope of ‘being cured’.

Y’all ever faked a crush or just chosen one at random? Y’all ever dated someone you knew you didn’t “like” like while hoping you’d catch feelings someday or thinking it was like, the natural “next step” for your friendship? Y’all ever fear that some day everyone would find out you “”weren’t normal?”” Y’all ever cry bc you know you’ll never love a partner the way they’ll love you, because their love is “”more pure/ real”” or some bullshit???? It's the internalized arophobia 😌

14. Increased fear and withdrawal from friend and relatives.

"They won't like me anymore when they realize I'm not the same as them" "They'll see me differently" etc etc etc

15. Shame or depression; defensiveness; anger or bitterness.

Self explanatory :(

16. School truancy or dropping out of school. Also, work place absenteeism or reduced productivity.

Self explanatory, avoidance of problems and people

17. Continual self-monitoring of one’s behaviours, mannerisms, beliefs, and ideas.

This one seems like it would tie in with #6, specifically monitoring yourself for the Correct Amount of romance, even if you're faking it.

18. Clowning as a way of acting out society’s negative stereotypes.

I have nothing to add here

19. Mistrust and destructive criticism of LGBT community leaders.

I don't think I need to elaborate on this one askdjfdkj

20. Reluctance to be around or have concern for children for fear of being seen as a paedophile.

God I don’t even know why I have this specific internalized arophobia/homophobia. Like??? It doesn’t make sense from an aro perspective but boy do I got it. I love kids and I have an education degree, but am still constantly afraid people see me as a creep

21. Conflicts with the law.

22. Unsafe sexual practices and other destructive risk-taking behaviours-including risk for HIV and other STIs.

Lack of care and respect for self :(

23. Separating sex and love, or fear of intimacy. Sometimes low or lack of sexual drive or celibacy.

I mean some of this is natural and healthy for aros by nature of being aro, but fear of intimacy. Fear of being Known

These last two are self explanatory :(

24. Substance abuse, including drink and drugs.

25. Thinking about suicide, attempting suicide, death by suicide.

https://www.rainbow-project.org/internalised-homophobia/

[runby2]

I WANTED TO MAKE A CLEAR POST ABOUT MY STANCES on the BUGSNAX ISSUES. Because I was just informed people took things wildly incorrectly, and now people won’t stop arguing about them! People are stressed while some folks wanted to make my opinion law, which ISN’T what I want. This post will be Bugsnax Related,

If you don’t know about Bugsnax or could care less about the drama, scroll past this post because none of this matters or will matter to you. And dear god you are so valid.  

- I don’t mind if you want to pair Wiggle and Gramble together. No one should mind. Please draw what you want. They’re both consenting adults. My opinion literally doesn’t matter! Do what makes you happy. Don’t attack people for shipping Gramble and Wiggle, don’t attack people for not shipping Gramble and Wiggle!!!! Think about this! Don’t even leave a passive aggressive comment or reblog it with judging tags. Leave folks alone. Block the pairing tag if you need to. No ones in the wrong here unless they started targeted harassment for really petty reasons!

- Floofty is, in canon, trans (non-binary) and deserves to be called by their proper pronouns. I’ve never made a post about Floofty with the intent of making fun of their pronouns. I am trans and non-binary leaning, and I made a lot of the goof posts on Floofty because we all like to get frustrated towards gender critical people. That’s where these comic ideas originated from, those are their intent. I will never draw Floofty experiencing actual transphobia because none of the muppet characters on that island are transphobic in canon. Floofty just uses they/them because it’s an actual pronoun and it’s normal.

- Wiggle’s character having a black voice actor does not make the fictional character Wiggle Wigglebottom immune to criticism for her actions that aren’t even SLIGHTLY race related. Because the actual grumpus characters are not racially charged. We can’t get into racism discourse about a game without racially charged characters that aren’t even human. Wiggles actions being based on a “drug addiction metaphor” doesn’t make them immune to criticism either! People are allowed to say: hey that was shitty of wiggle to do.

That’s not “demonizing wiggle” or “making wiggle out to be a villain” that’s just saying what happened in the game. It’s just the facts.

- Country accents are not AAVE. I would never make fun of AAVE, even in a shitpost comic. Gramble is just REALLY really southern in the game.

- Gramble being written as having trauma related episodes is not “babyfying” him. People being concerned about an age gap dynamic Gramble is in, due to their own trauma, is not infantilizing. If you draw Gramble acting only innocent and in a clear childlike way, that’s when infantilizing becomes a thing. That’s when the label fits. That’s when things get weird. People being concerned when I was in an age gap issue in real life was not them belittling me. It was just them being concerned. A lot of my comics are based on actual experiences I’ve gone through, and I see it all in Gramble. But that’s my take and it in no way has to effect yours. Don’t let it effect yours.

- THAT BEING SAID people who don’t want to see Gramble as being in a scary situation, for any reason, are completely fine too. They’re allowed to draw art where everything is okay in that relationship. If you try to make my opinion law I’ll find you and get you. Especially if you’ve been harassing people.

[velvetvexations]

You think there is some secret

I think there's a few transfems on Tumblr who replicate cis Karens 1:1, it's not a conspiracy, it's just a normal manifestation of the existence of very petty and clout-obsessed bullies who come in a diverse variety of flavors.

cabal

Anti-Semitic, but dw, I also just found this out. That should also give you an idea of the gap between your conception of what I'm saying and what I'm actually saying, though. I'm saying some people start drama for popularity points, not that they staged the moon landing.

trannies

TRFs include all varieties of trans people, which is what I assume you mean by this, so sure? It'd be really silly if you meant this as in trans women specifically, because that's not what that word means haha.

Also, some TRFs are cis! Usually cis women who think trans men have Evil Bad Misogynistic Kinks, which, oh boy, that's going to be an issue down the line if yall don't check their anti-kink moralizing soon, but let's not get into that rn.

out to destroy your good sacred boy Brennan Lee Mulligan

I think some people see Brennan as a target for this kinna thing because of the hype he gets, which is actually pretty overblown a lotta the time. I mean, have you seen the tweet calling him a "decolonial philosopher"? I will never stop meming about that. The whole reason I came back to Tumblr after so many years, in fact, was that the D20 fandom was so performatively, obnoxiously Marxist that they were being wildly misogynistic about a teenage girl who they thought was a "nepo baby" because her dad sold real estate and her mom was a clerk with the city government.

Brennan's politics are awesome but the fandom doesn't always do the best with them. In any case, I have seen people be annoyed with the way he gets pedestaled, and sure, that's fair. For the record, I've criticized him pretty harshly!

I think you can criticize Dropout in general. There's plenty to critacize them about. Hell, it WOULD be cool if they had more transfems! I love seeing transfems on Dropout, which is something that has made me really happy on multiple occasions in the past already, even more would be awesome!

But the way they do things, and being loudly progressive, and often loudly praised for that progressiveness, does make them an easy mark for someone who wants to shake the beehive. How, then, do you determine what's legitimate criticism and what isn't?

Well, I already explained why the methodology used to determine transfems are so underrepresented is blatantly engineered to give that result in defiance of all logic, so I guess that'd be a start.

as opposed to the reality that some people just thought a joke he made was in poor taste

Yeah, except they're completely wrong about the meaning of the joke and are being intellectually dishonest about it. Dadgum, I WISH he intentionally made a transfem character with a star sign that translates to "serpent bearer," that's badass. That'd be some real BSE (Big Serpent Energy).

This is a charitable reading of your post.

I can be meaner.

Once again, I ask you how this is any different from the rhetoric of reactionaries and anti-sjws.

I think transphobia exists. I do not think it exists in this moment in this place. As a trans woman myself, I think this is bad logic for determining transphobia has taken place.

Ah, let me put it this way. Who's your favorite cis creator? I'll make a post saying they're a transmisogynist because Oswald the Lucky Rabbit told me so in a dream, and if you disagree with it, that'll prove you're basically a reactionary!

I wasn't going to say anything about the Dropout thing (and I'm still not going to make any statements on Dropout's internal structure) but the way that y'all have been responding scares me. This all started because a few trans women were uncomfortable with D20 making the only trans woman in the series' introduction be "serpent bearer," and Dropout fans responded with a whole bunch of blatant anti-sjw talking points from a decade ago.

Like, this is blatantly the same thing as whining about "DEI Mandates™" and shit. You realize that, right? Do you see the pipeline you're going down?

[softtransbf]

Mister Nice Guy, part 2

part one

Summary: Shit hits the fan, and the rest of the BAU is done with it.

Word Count: 3523

Reader: he/him trans man, no physical description

Warnings: case involving targeting gay people, brief mention of a child abduction case, coming out/anxiety of experiencing transphobia (no actual transphobia though), alcohol, swearing

@aleccolocco (sorry it took so long to finish lol)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No, that doesn't make any sense at all, doctor!" you spat his title. "He's not jealous of these couples, killing what he can't have, or a homophobe, punishing gay people for being happy. He's putting an end to their unhappy relationships. He sees it as mercy." Over the months, your cold war with Reid turned into outright conflict, and tonight, alone in the police station in Oregon, was no exception. Hotchner had tasked the two of you with presenting the preliminary profile the next morning, and it was going as well as conversations ever went.

"We have no evidence that he knows they're unhappy, though. All of his victims are clearly happy in their relationships," Reid challenged.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed. "Please. One look at their social media and it's obvious that the relationships are on the rocks."

"Where do you get that? All I see are typical happy relationships. Selfies, checking into special events together, posts about kind things one does for the other. Nothing indicating a troubled relationship to me."

"The gentlemen doth protest too much. They're painting an overly happy painting on social media, hoping that some of that happiness will actually become real. They're desperate for the relationship to work."

"Let's say you're right. I don't think you are, but let's pretend for the sake of trying to see your logic through. Why? Why would they be so desperate to save a failing relationship?"

"God, straight men just don't fucking get it!" You went to grab a file, missing his small flinch. "You don't understand how limited the dating pool for men who are into men is. Look at the most recent couple in particular. The most lovey-dovey on social media, and got the most brutal deaths."

"Yes, because they were the happiest. My theory holds," Reid interrupted.

"No. Look, this guy put way more out there on social media than his partner, and look at the pictures he posted. Look how forced his smile is, look at the body language. He needs this relationship to work, because dating as a gay man is one thing, dating as a gay trans man is almost impossible. Having to start over and deal with transphobia over and over again is worse than being in a bad relationship. In his eyes, I mean." Shit, the first person I come out to on this team cannot be Spencer fucking Reid. He doesn't deserve the honor.

"That was yesterday. We haven't gotten the autopsy report yet. How could you possibly know that he's trans?"

"Testosterone vials and needles in the bathroom. Neither of them are old enough for a cis man to reasonably have issues that require testosterone injections. It's HRT, hormone replacement therapy."

"Even if you're right, your conclusion still seems like a much bigger jump than mine, that the killer sees the relationships as happy and is lashing out at that, be it from jealousy or homophobia."

"Whatever. You'll see tomorrow, when we talk to the M.E., that he was trans, and that fact backs me up. I am absolutely right about this, and you will eat your words. Then I will present my theory, and you can choke on yours."

"We? You anticipate us spending more time together?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I meant 'we' as in the team, asshat. The world doesn't revolve around you. Mine sure as hell doesn't. I'm gonna go back to the hotel, write my own damn preliminary profile, and try to get some fucking sleep. Clearly we won't agree on this."

"We don't ever agree on anything," he pointed out.

"Not true. We agree that we dislike each other and can't get along. Good night, doctor." You turned and walked away, not giving him a chance to respond.

This man is going to be the death of me, he thought as he watched you walk away.

~

The autopsy report came in the next day, and you were right. The tech team also found a locked notes app on his phone that catalogued his unhappiness and fear of leaving. You presented your preliminary profile to the team. Reid didn't even argue; he just sat in silence, leaving the room as soon as you were finished. Never one to pass up a chance to gloat for beating him, you offered to get coffee for the team, got everyone's order, and left shortly behind him.

You were expecting to catch up to him, his impossibly long legs be damned. You weren't expecting him to be waiting for you. He pulled you into an empty interrogation room and pushed you up against a wall, his face just inches from yours. It was only a moment before being flustered by the closeness and those goddamn eyes were replaced by anger.

"What the FUCK, Reid?"

"What game are you playing, Y/N? What game are we playing? What's your endgame?" He spoke quickly and softly, but there was an intensity in his voice that had you captivated.

"I'm the one playing games?" You pushed him back, away from you. "You're the one who decided to hate me before we even met. When I transferred, all I wanted was to do a good job and fit in with the team. But quite literally from the minute I walked through the door, you'd decided you hate me. Turnabout is just fair play, gorgeous." Oh, fuck.

"Gorgeous?" You walked past him to the other side of the room, running a hand through your hair and turning your back on him. "Fine. Yeah, okay? I wanted approval from the brilliant and handsome Doctor Spencer Reid. In a way that's respectful of your heterosexuality, of course." You turned around and faced him again. "But that doesn't matter, because you made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me right off the bat."

"What makes you think I'm straight?" He's fucking with me, now that that cat is out of the bag. Great. Fucking cishet men. Even he's no different. Thank god he still thinks I'm cis.

"Garcia mentioned in her newbie-run-down that you're 'awkward, but in a cute way, especially around women'. Plus, she mentioned that Emily is bi, leaving everyone else implied straight as even the best cishet allies are wont to do. And as we both know, Penelope knows everything.

And before you make the hearsay argument I can see forming in that brilliant head of yours, I've heard and seen too much about your impeccable memory to assume you don't remember when we all went to the bar after my first case. I was unabashedly Queer, friendly flirting with Derek and calling out cishet bullshit. When I did the latter, you literally rolled your eyes and walked away. Which is, funnily enough, some cishet bullshit. 

JJ said you were just going through a thing and things would get better, but they just got worse. I'm not going to ask you to spill whatever was going on, because it's not my business, but god damn, dude. Why did you hate me so much so quickly?"

"You asked JJ about me?" He took a few steps towards you, a small smile on his face.

"That's the part you focused on? Jesus fucking Christ. Yes, I asked her about why you decided to hate me before we even met. Whatever. I hope you got whatever you were looking for by pulling me in here. I'm done. Done with this conversation, done with whatever has been going on with you and us since the day I transferred." You turned to leave, but he grabbed your arm. It was barely more than a light touch, but you let it stop you.

"Y/N. I can't-" he sighed. "God, you make my head spin. I can't organize my thoughts enough to say what I want to. JJ was right, there was something I had to work through, and I guess you'd made up your mind about me before I figured it out. It isn't an excuse for how I treated you, just an explanation. As for the more recent development of arguments… I guess I read a subtext that wasn't there. I could never dislike you, let alone hate you. I am truly sorry for- for all of it." With three long strides, he was out the door.

Make his head spin? What subtext? Since when is he unable to say what's on his mind? And what was that about not disliking me? All we've done since we met is argue or ignore each other. Why else would he act like that? Why do I even care? Why am I so knotted up about what he's thinking and feeling? Whatever. Fuck him, and not in the fun way. I've gotta go get coffee for the team. As you were getting the coffee, you couldn't get the memory of his face, so close to yours, to stop playing in your head.

The rest of the case was mostly as normal, but there was an energy between you and Spencer that was distant like when you joined the team, but there was something else to it that you couldn't quite put your finger on. It made you a little bit sad, though, for reasons you didn't understand.

~

"I love you, Y/N. I love you so much. I pulled away from you because it terrified me how much I loved you from the moment you walked through the door that first day. Being around you, even when we were arguing, made me feel alive in a way I never had before. You're all I think about, you're all I could ever want. I love you."

"I… I love you too." You didn't know which one of you moved, maybe you both did, but in an instant, you were kissing Spencer Reid, and you couldn't have been happier.

-

You woke up with a start, breathing heavily. You looked around; you were in your room, home alone, and it was 3:37 am. What the hell was that?

Four hours later, you trudged through the door of the BAU office, venti red-eye in hand. You made it about ten steps before Derek had his arm around your shoulders.

"Whoa there, hot stuff. Rough night?" You tried to shake him off, but he wouldn't budge, so you just kept walking, making him go with you towards your desk.

"So not your business, Derek. You being open with your personal life doesn't mean we all have to be open like that with ours."

"Personal life, huh? So who is he? More importantly, how was he, and should we expect more mornings like this in the future?" You rolled your eyes and playfully shoved him away. You'd reached your desk, so you sat on top of it, facing him. As you did, you made eye contact with Spencer, who was well within earshot. His face was unreadable, and you weren't sure why him hearing Morgan tease you like that upset you. It never had before.

"No, Derek. There's no one. Just some nightmares. Nothing major; I'll be fine by tomorrow." You got off your desk, sat in your chair, and logged into your laptop. Derek whistled and walked away without another word, shaking his head.

You tried to focus on the paperwork you needed to get done, but you couldn't stop thinking about that dream. The feeling of his lips on yours… it felt so real.

This is ridiculous. Love? We don't even like each other. Well… there was the stuff he was saying yesterday- 'I could never dislike you, let alone hate you', and some sort of subtext? But not disliking someone is a far cry from love. Plus, he's straight, so this is all absurd. And even if he DID have feelings for me, I sure as hell don't return them. I mean, maybe he's not as awful as I've thought, especially if he wasn't coming from a place of dislike. And he really is very pretty. Those eyes… Wait, what the fuck? This is all fucking ridiculous. I just need to get a full night's sleep tomorrow, and all this weirdness will be gone.

You took a giant gulp of your coffee, shook your head, and ran your fingers through your hair. Fortunately, Hotchner called a team meeting, forcing your attention to other things.

While no case could ever be described as 'normal', this case was pretty cut and dry, once you figured out what you were looking for. No dramatic twist, no tense showdown at his arrest. There weren't many cases like that, but you were very glad that this one was. You never sleep well when on a case, and no matter what you did, you couldn't shake that dream, the butterflies it left in your stomach every time you looked at him, and the strange disappointment when, unlike before that moment in Oregon, he wasn't looking at you.

Two more weeks passed. The energy between you and Spencer, whatever force it was that had drawn you together to argue again and again, was gone. You were polite to each other, and cooperated as necessary, but didn't do more than the bare minimum when it came to interacting with each other. Your interactions were cold and low-spirited. So you were so glad for a fun night out with Penelope, Emily, and JJ.

"So, Y/N, things seem… different�� between you and Spencer these days. Did something happen?" Emily's tone made it clear that the three of them had intended to bring this up long before the plan to get drinks was even made. "I appreciate y'all waiting until I had a couple of drinks in me at least before going here. I guess we just got tired of fighting? I don't know. I can't figure out what's going on in that brilliant head of his. I thought I at least knew where I stood with him, even though it was purely adversarial, but I think I was wrong. But then that leaves me with no idea what he thinks of me or why I care so damn much."

"Really? No idea at all?" JJ asked. "I remember walking by a closed door in the police station in Oregon and hearing the word 'gorgeous' being thrown around." "Oh my god. You heard that?" You buried your face in your hands, and they all laughed.

"Yeah, I did, but only that one word. I'd figured you were on the phone with someone, but then you and Spence both started acting sad. I wasn't sure, of course, that you were talking to him until just now."

"Fuck. Okay, yeah. I think he's pretty. But I'm absolutely not alone in that. Derek calls him Pretty Boy, for goodness' sake. Appreciating someone's beauty doesn't have to mean anything more."

"Y/N, really? After everything we've been through together, you're gonna lie to us like this? Whatever happened, you've both been miserable since, and it's throwing the whole team off balance."

"What do you want me to say, Penelope? That I'm in love with him? He's pretentious and a know-it-all and a nerd and funny and kind and gorgeous and oh my God. I think I'm in love with him." The three women clapped and cheered.

"Finally, you get there! Took you long enough." Emily winked. "So, what's the plan now?"

"Keep this shit between us until my feelings go away. Even if he wasn't straight, I wouldn't risk fucking things up by telling him how I felt. As it is, I stand no chance in hell, so I'm just gonna write this one off as another straight guy I've fallen for and try to move on."

"Y/N, if you tell him-" Penelope started.

"No. You, more than anyone, know why I can't even entertain the idea of trying to be with him. I can't set myself up for that kind of pain. Not here, not where things are so good." You looked at all three of them. "I know that your intentions were good, but I just can't do this. I'm sorry." You grabbed your coat and left.

Your interactions with Spencer changed yet again. Now that you knew you loved him, you couldn't help yourself from being warmer towards him. As the weeks passed, you got closer. After three weeks, you considered him to be a good friend, not that that made things any less painful. You were just hoping that Penelope, Emily, and JJ were going to respect your wishes and drop the subject of your feelings for him.

[From: Penelope]: round table room ASAP

Shit. The last time you'd gotten that text from Penelope, the team left on a serial child abduction case 30 minutes later. So, despite it being your day off, you ran out the door and were there with your go bag in 15 minutes.

But no one else was there. No files on the table, nothing to indicate that there was a new case. You pulled out your phone to call Penelope, but then you heard a commotion outside the door- you'd closed it behind you.

"No, Derek, wait, I don't-"

"Can it, Pretty Boy, and thank me later." Derek opened the door, pushed Spencer into the room, winked at you, and shut the door, all in about 3 seconds.

"Spencer. Um, hi. Is the rest of the team not going to join us? Garcia's text seemed pretty urgent." You tucked your phone into your pocket.

"I don't think so, since I just heard Morgan barricade the door." He tried to open the door and failed.

"Oh my god they're Parent Trapping us. I'm gonna kill them."

Spencer tilted his head, confused. "Parent Trapping?"

"Oh my god have you not seen any of the Parent Trap movies? Were you living under a rock in 1998?" "I was seventeen and working on my first doctorate, so pretty much, yeah," he laughed. You couldn't help but laugh, too, as you firmly ignored how his smile made you absolutely melt.

"Fair enough. The '61 one is good too, but the '98 Lindsay Lohan one is Iconic for good reason. Anyway. The point is, they've locked us in here and won't let us out until we have a conversation."

"Just a conversation? Or do they want us to talk about something in particular?" He took a seat at the table.

"I- yeah, they have a particular topic in mind. I'm so sorry. This is my fault. I was tipsy and said things I should have just kept to myself. I thought they'd respected my wishes and left well enough alone, but clearly they didn't. And they won't let us out of here until I tell you-" you hesitated.

"Tell me what?" He leaned forward, and part of you swore you saw hope in his beautiful brown eyes. You looked at the floor, avoiding them.

"Tell you that I… have feelings for you. Romantic, cheesy, butterflies-in-my-stomach feelings. I don't know why they want me to tell you this. We've just gotten to a good place as friends, and you're straight, and-"

Somehow you missed the sound of him getting up and taking the few steps over to you, because you practically jumped out of your skin when his hands were suddenly on your shoulders.

"Y/N. Please, darling, look at me?" Bewildered by the endearment, you did, and his smile was blinding. "I'm not straight. I'm bi, and I think part of me has been in love with you since your first day at the BAU. The thing JJ said I was working through? The potential problems of having feelings for a coworker. For you. As soon as you walked through that door", he pointed and then took both your hands in his, "I loved you. The night at the bar? I was rolling my eyes at myself for how much I wanted to kiss you, and I walked away to stop myself from doing something reckless. I love you, Y/N. Can I do something reckless?"

"I'm trans," you blurted. "I hope that doesn't change anything, but it's something you should know. If knowing that I'm trans changes things, now is the time for you to say something. If it's a problem and it blows up later, it might actually kill me. Because I love you, too. So much. If it doesn't change anything, then please, Spencer, kiss me."

The words were barely out of your mouth before his lips were on yours. You weren't sure how long you were kissing before you were interrupted by cheers from the other side of the door. "Shit, Spencer, they're going to be the worst about this, aren't they?" You were a bit embarrassed by how breathy your voice was, but you were too happy to really care.

"Oh yeah. We're not going to get a moment that's just us in this building ever again. Do you want to get it over with and face them, or would you prefer we stay in this moment a bit longer?"

"What do you think, doctor?" you asked, pulling him in for another kiss.

[37q]

do you see positives in the ways transmascs have already dabbled in doing that? like with the playing in the concept of transandrophobia or transmisandry?

firstable i wanna say im kinda on the fence about the idea of transandrophobia and transmisandry, for a few reasons, two of which ill explain here

one is that transmisogyny as a portmanteau is primarily a union of transphobia and misogyny which reconstitutes as uniquely targeted or vitriolic oppression. this is taking both of those axes as a given, whereas i do not take misandry / androphobia as a given. you could potentially say that it becomes real when its used as a portmanteau itself, though if it only exists co-dependently, according to the Buddha its empty of any independent or innate value of its own. you could say its transness that focuses on the maleness, or the fallacious pre-maleness or post-femaleness, or the failed male or failed female, but that simply wouldnt be true because those are all ways that transmisogyny is used. you could say that its about the specific transition direction -- "FtM" if youre into that -- which allows for a little more freedom to talk about things such as transmasc & trans men's reproductive rights, however thats merely getting caught in the crossfire of a cissexist conversation thats ultimately about the constraint of womens autonomy, bodily, politically, and economically.

two is an emphasis on the fact that the portmanteau of oppressions is not only a union but a uniquely intense and targeting one at that. i take issue with the fact that trans men and transmascs are implying that their targeting is as unique and intense as, or even a peer to, transmisogyny. not because trans women have the oppression olympics imperative, but just because of the content of the conversation. "the trans social contagion as administered by TIM predators is overriding peoples critical thinking skills so they cant possibly consent" is actually normal transphobia but making trans women the demons instead of addicts or sex workers. trans women experience this, we have our rights to give consent taken away because were deemed mentally unfit, so logically it is not unique to transmascs or trans men. meanwhile, because we are the demons, rapists, and predators here, we face most of the in-your-face violence as well, ranging from incarceration to daylight assault & murder, so logically transmascs and trans men do not experience something more targeted or intense than we do.

secondable i do think that, independent of making the conversation a re-centering of womens own, there is merit to what they say because they are stating facts. JKR is using trans women to target trans men, and thats facts. the specter of the predator, whether hes an immigrant or a white failed-male, is causing reactionary women to cling more and more to their misconstrued gender class, which can only be saved if we realized were in this together and WHY (something about chromosomes probably). not only is it a predator, its also a specter, the politically correct regime that wont even let a victim identify their attacker (as an immigrant, or as a "male"). JKRs terrified of that, like genuinely, shes terrified of not knowing what you are, or people HIDING what they are. the deceptive interlopers! the failed experiment! the trans woman!

my general pithy response to "is transandrophobia / transmisandry real?" is "only if its not normal transphobia". if you can find some examples of transandrophobia that dont boil down to your run-of-the-mill cissexism or "brainwashing" then let me know, but as of right now i dont know what new information a lens of transadrophobia-critique brings to the conversation that cant be obtained in a general trans lens.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #127: Leonardo Da Vinci

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re making the one person with enough free time to be both a universal genius and the best ninja turtle, Leonardo Da Vinci! Like many casters you’re super power is Being Adaptable, so just imagine every level summary ends with “Adjust your spell list to fit what your party needs” a lot.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Tamamo... 3!

Race and Background

Like a couple other servants you’re technically a homunculus, but we need that feat bonus, so we’re making you a Variant Human. This nets you perception proficiency, +1 Intelligence and Dexterity, and the War Caster feat. This gives you advantage on concentration checks, the ability to use cantrips for your attacks of opportunity, and the ability to use somatic components with full hands. That glove’s cool, but it’s probably hard to flash gang signs in that thing.

You’re Chaldea’s resident Izzet Engineer, giving you proficiency with Arcana and Investigation. You also get the ability to look up public building’s schematics to look for secret entrances and the like (it definitely would make the opening to Descent into Avernus a lot easier...) You also get enough background-based spells to make your first level spell list look downright silly. We’ll get into those at the levels section though.

You should probably try and keep that “Izzet” part under wraps. Mixing servants and mizzium could only end in disaster.

Ability Score Improvements

As the poster child of the Renaissance Woman, your Intelligence and Wisdom should be pretty goddamn high. After that is Dexterity- you literally made your body, and your craftsmanship is impeccable. Your Charisma isn’t amazing, because despite your body being a literal work of art you get a demerit due to the writing team’s transphobia, and also the standard array’s inability to give you all 20s. Your Constitution isn’t great for the latter reason as well, but we’re dumping Strength. Once again, the caster class’s 90% damage modifier is not going to help you get buff.

Class Levels

1. Wizard 1: You’re smart and magic, that’s a wizard. You get proficiency with Intelligence and Wisdom saves, as well as two wizard skills. History and Insight would be my pick, but you’re good at everything, so pick your poison.

You also get an Arcane Recovery once per long rest, allowing you to regain a couple spell slots on a short rest as a freebie, but their total level has to be half your wizard level rounded up. Oh yeah, you get spells too. They use your Intelligence to cast.

As the Universal Genius, your entire schtick is about being adaptable, so I’m not going to list spells in the breakdown this time around. If you want them, my personal picks are in the character sheet. 

That being said, you do get some guaranteed spells from your background. Thanks to being an Engineer, you get Produce Flame and Shocking Grasp as cantrips, and Chaos Bolt, Create or Destroy Water, and Unseen Servant at first level.

2. Wizard 2: Another problem with being a renaissance woman is that there’s no “everything” specialty for you to grab. That being said, the Transmutation school will help make your body a bit stronger on a more permanent basis than bladesinging would. You become a Transmutation Savant, meaning it takes half the time and cost to transcribe transmutation spells into your spell book. You also learn some Minor Alchemy, spending ten minutes per cubic foot of your target object, turning a nonmagical item made of wood, stone, iron, copper, or silver into one of the other materials on that list. This lasts for an hour, or until you drop concentration. I’m sure you can come up with fun ways to abuse this.

3. Wizard 3: Third level wizards get second level spells, including your background spells Heat Metal and Rope Trick. Everyone needs a bit of alone time. And also to slowly set people on fire. Also, you should probably grab Enlarge/Reduce. It’s a secret tool that will help us later.

4. Wizard 4: Your Ability Score Improvements are all going to intelligence, but we can be smart about it. Your Keen Mind gives you a small boost to Intelligence, but it also helps you navigate, tell time, and be a jerk to your DM by forcing them to keep notes on literally everything. Use this power wisely.

5. Artificer 1: You’re not just a mage, you’re also an inventor. And an artist, but we’re sticking with int casters today. Maybe for rider. With your Magical Tinkering, you can add minor effects to tiny items, because it’s not like you’ve already got prestidigitation or anything. Speaking of, you get another Spell list, which also uses your Intelligence to cast and prepare. Again, you’re a caster-almost literally any spell is canon for you, aside from maybe the divination ones. Specifically the futury spells.

6. Artificer 2: Second level artificers can Infuse Items, allowing you to create magical items for your party. Again, you can make almost anything, so take some liberties. Or check the character sheet. Either or.

7. Artificer 3: As an inventor who’s specialty is “inventing”, you’d think picking a subclass here would be hard. Normally you’d be right, but I want to make the Bastenyan X, so we’re going Battle Smith. This gives you some specialty spells, like Heroism and Shield, as well as making you Battle Ready. This gives you proficiency with more weapons, and you can use your intelligence instead of strength when using magical weapons. You also get a Steel Defender, a construct to help you in battle. You have to use your bonus action to command it, but you weren’t using it for anything else, so that’s fine.

You can also make the Right Tool for the Job after rests, creating a set of artisan’s tools until you make another.

8. Artificer 4: Another ASI, and another half feat. The Observant feat rounds out your Intelligence, allows you to read lips, and gives you a +5 bonus to perception and investigation checks.

9. Artificer 5: Fifth level battle smiths get an Extra Attack with each attack action, for when you really want to slap someone with your giant hand. You also get second level spells, like Branding Smite and Warding Bond. 

10. Wizard 5: Third level spell time! You also get your background spells, Call Lighting, Elemental Weapon, and Glyph of Warding. And that’s not even counting your normal spells.

11. Wizard 6: Sixth level transmuters can make a Transmuter’s Stone over the course of eight hours, and a creature holding possessing the stone gets one of several benefits. These include darkvision, and extra 10 feet of speed, proficiency in constitution saves, and resistance to acid, cold, fire, lightning, or thunder damage. If you’re holding onto the stone, you can even switch up the effect every time you cast a leveled transmutation spell.

12. Artificer 6: Hopping back into artificer gives you Tool Expertise, giving you doubled proficiency with any tool. I’m not sure if I was explicit enough here, but you’re very smart.

13. Artificer 7: So smart, in fact, that you can use your Flash of Genius to add your intelligence modifier to a nearby ability check or save, a number of times per long rest equal to your intelligence modifier. You might not be great at athletics, but you do know a lot about the technique!

14. Artificer 8: Nope, we’re not maxing out intelligence yet. Use this ASI to become a bit Tougher. No real reason for it, but you’re kind of a melee fighter with less than 100 hp at the end, which isn’t good. This gives you +2 hp every time you level up, and a nice +28 hp immediately.

15. Artificer 9: You get third level spells again, including your specialty spells Aura of Vitality and Conjure Barrage. You also learn how to add an Arcane Jolt to your magical weapon attacks, either dealing extra damage or healing a nearby creature. You can use this once per turn, and a number of times per long rest equal to your intelligence modifier.

16. Artificer 10: Tenth level artificers see a lot of their infusions become a bit stronger, and they become a Magic Item Adept, which gives them an extra attunement slot and makes building magic items from scratch much easier.

17. Artificer 11: Eleventh level artificers can make Spell Storing Items at the end of long rests, allowing you to give your Bastenyan a Knife of Enlarging so you can ride in style by hasting and growing it at the same time. Despite the name, these items have to be weapons or focii, you can only have one item at once, and they only hold a number of charges equal to your intelligence modifier.

18. Artificer 12: With our final ASI, we can finally max out our Intelligence score for the best spells, the strongest hits, and the most effective magic items.

19. Artificer 13: With your fourth level spells, you get specialty and background spells at once, netting you Aura of Purity, Fire Shield, Conjure Minor Elementals, Divination, and Otiluke’s Resilient Sphere. And again, these are all spells that don’t count for your prep.

20. Artificer 14: Your capstone level makes you a Magic Item Savant, allowing you to attune to five items at once and ignore all requirements for using magic items. True genius knows no limits, after all.

Pros:

By mixing some wizard levels in with your artificer, you can learn a frankly silly number of spells by default, allowing for a lot of magical versatility. Multiclassing also lets you steal higher level spells from other spellbooks, negating some of the weaknesses you’d normally get from multiclassing. By the end, you can still copy over seventh level spells! Not bad for someone who just got fourth level spells on paper.

With pseudoproficiency and advantage in concentration saves, you’re pretty good at holding onto spells even with your lackluster Constitution score.

Your DM’s going to have a really hard time keeping secrets from you with a maxed out Investigation checks, plus good insight and perception, plus the ability to perfectly remember everything that happened in the last month. Proficiency is +6, intelligence is +5, Observant is another +5, Flash of Genius is another +5... That’s a base of 22, even if you roll a one. Rogues aren’t that good at investigation. Okay, maybe rogues are, but still. 

Cons:

Multiclassing still has downsides. You don’t get ninth level spells, which is a bummer, and you also don’t get the capstone ability of Artificer, which is downright broken. That being said, it’s not like most games get to level 17-20 anyway, so it’s probably not that big a deal.

I don’t like making builds that rely on DM fiat, and this build kinda does. In a low magic setting, or against a DM who just doesn’t like you, you’re stuck with, at max, fourth level spells. A situational weakness, but one you should be aware of.

Despite having tons of abilities to join in the melee with your other party members, you’re actually pretty bad at surviving there. You have an AC of 15 with mage armor (the in-character option), and your HP is probably somewhere in the 130s without a magic item we get at level 20. That’s not to say you can’t get in a fight, you just really don’t want to stand out.

[positivityforlesbians]

hi! i have some questions that i hope i can explain well as i don’t want to be misunderstood- i know many TRAs that say we lesbians are transphobic because we prefer to not date/being in a relationship with trans women as because our non attraction to penis.. they in fact say that we can be in a relationship with them because after all we don’t have sex necessarily and that centric our discourses around only genitalia is transphobic... now, all of those discourses are a daily routine on twitter especially and it makes me feel very bad. i don’t think that only saying we aren’t into trans women it’s transphobic, we (or at least many lesbians i know) don’t say something like that transphobia isn’t real or shit like jk rowling said, how can they see everything as transphobia?

and, as if it wasn’t enough, in those days a lesbian shared her experience with her ex gf that was bi, and she break up with her for a man so this lesbian girl shared how she felt and everyone said to her that if she felt bad and doesn’t want to feel like that then why she dated a bi woman, she could chose another lesbian but... when a lesbian say she wants to date only lesbians because she wants to share same experiences even there we are biphobic, the most hurting thing was seeing some other lesbians agreed with the fact other are biphobic for it— after this another bi woman said that we silence them when they talk about men and i really don’t know where she lives but in the society where I live eteronormativity is still a thing and i’ve never seen a lesbian silencing straight or bisexual girls when talking about men as because we don’t even are out most of the time.

I feel that especially twitter become a bad place for lesbians, or at least for me. what do you think about? and why now if people see a lesbian especially quickly say to her she’s a terf??? or a transphobic or a biphobic, or other things aside the lesbophobia. it seems really to me we can’t have not a single piece for us lol

----

Hi, yes Twitter has become an especially bad place for lesbians, there is this “better than thou” atmosphere there in general but it’s worsen for us because our simple sexual orientation is seen as bigoted. They don’t say it like that (and unfortunately it’s not exclusive to Twitter), they don’t say “oh lesbianism is wrong and you’re disgusting for it” they say “you are solely into people with vagina/vulva ?! Eww transphobic scum, you’re not a lesbian but a vagina fetishist, drink bleach !” this is the type of shit 2.0 homophobes say and it must be fought as much as possible. These people are way too comfortable with their homophobia yet they are validated for it because they pretend to be our allies or to be like us, the truth is they are none of that.

If you follow the right accounts (whether it be on Twitter, Tumblr or any social media and person irl) then you will not see this being spread like the Gospel. There is no reason why suddenly all lesbians would be evil “TERFs” in the wrong about this topic : maybe just MAYBE we’re accused this much because we all see a huge problem with the way gender/trans activism is addressing lesbians and homosexuality in general (but not only) and since it’s targetting us we are speaking up. They are angry that we don’t let ourselves be disrespected and honestly ? It means we are doing the right thing, homophobes should be angry that their strategy is met with adversity.

It was addressed on positivityforlesbians once but J.K Rowling defended lesbians in her statement (and never wished any harm on trans people) but are they talking about that ? No of course, they spread lies to the point you even seem to think she wrote something objectionable when she didn’t. If we erase the reality of sex then we erase the reality of homosexuality (and heterosexuality), we aren’t attracted to an inner state of gender identity, we aren’t attracted to stereotypes of gender, we are attracted to people of the same sex (or opposite sex for straight people), there is nothing wrong about it. We must be extremely careful of the ways new homophobes spread their toxic rhetoric, they do it in our spaces and that’s how they differ greatly from traditional homophobes. It makes them more dangerous in the sense that they feed this to young impressionable wlw and mlm who aren’t seeing it for what it is. Like you said, lesbians are very much targeted by hateful discourses, on many topics, none of it is acceptable. It’s normal that you’re angry, anon. Xx

[modernmutiny]

I've decided I'm reading a book a day for the rest on the month (starting Dec 4 2021, meaning 27 books by the new year) and I need accountability so! I'll update this post as I go, rating the books I've finished under the cut

4 Dec: Tracker Hacker by Jeff Adams (7/10)

Very teen spy-esque, think Alex Rider but more gay. The main theme of the whole thing, aside from saving the world through computer hacking and general teen spy stuff, was about coming of age (as YA usually is) and making decisions for yourself instead of letting other people control you. Great queer rep with the narrator Theo and his boyfriend Eddie. I love how real their relationship feels - often the s/o in spy thrillers is very two dimensional and flat but Eddies got depth to him and has very clear motivations, which is refreshing. The adult characters, on the other hand, felt a little flat. There were four whole secret agents dedicated to watching one teenaged boy basically 24/7, and besides a random throwaway comment about an English degree none of them had much to them. Overall, I'm glad I read it and if my library gets the sequels then I'll definitely read them, but I'm not sure if I would pay for them outright.

Dec 5: Felix Ever After (8.5/10)

Very cute love story that focuses less on the love interests and more about the protagonist himself and his incredibly complex relationships with gender and sexuality and identity love itself. There's a lot of emphasis on how you have to focus on yourself sometimes, and get rid of people and relationships that are ultimately hurtful to you, which is something i really appreciate esp for the target audience of YA readers. There was a lot of normalizing of drugs and alcohol for minors, which personally i find fine in most contexts but there were hardly any scenes where a character wasn't high or drunk or both, which (again, for me personally) sits weird with me. Otherwise a very powerful book that has a lot to say about representation and marginalization and how even queer people aren't exempt from transphobia which is something we don't see often in fiction. Very much looking forward to the tv show!

Dec 6/7: Red, White, and Royal Blue (10/10)

Maybe I'm just biased because I read all the I, Q books as a kid, or because the trope of falling in love with a stuffy Englishman with his heart on his sleeve hits a little close to home, but this book was *chef's kiss* so good. The political landscape was so realistic, the settings felt so real and heartfelt, the idea of having the world resting on your shoulders at 22 (i mean, what 22 y/o doesn't feel like that?) I loved Los Bastardos, I loved Bea and June and Nora and Pez, I loved Leo and Shaan and literally every character. I loved every second of it. A+, 10/10

[makaylajadewrites]

Part 9: Demons

Hi everyone, welcome back to the Bria Monique series! It's been quite some time since I've posted anything in this series, and although this is just a drabble/is kind of rough, I hope you enjoy!

Read on AO3 here

Summary: Spencer was not a stranger to having enemies. He had been dealing with them all his life and had them for as long as he could remember. Even as a child when he would walk down the street from his house to the bus stop a few blocks away, wearing his heavily scuffed Converse and old leather backpack that once belonged to his father, he was looked at like some kind of natural phenomenon. But the attention wasn’t always innocent and harmless, and he learned that the hard way through the ruthless bullying he suffered through his high school experience.

Tags: Hate speech, Homophobia, Potential transphobia, Bullying, Coming of Age

Word Count: 2665

-

Spencer was not a stranger to having enemies. He had been dealing with them all his life and had them for as long as he could remember. Even as a child when he would walk down the street from his house to the bus stop a few blocks away, wearing his heavily scuffed Converse and old leather backpack that once belonged to his father, he was looked at like some kind of natural phenomenon. The sensation of eyes on him was nothing new, because at first it had always been harmless, curious onlookers left confused and amazed at the sight of eight year old Spencer Reid, sitting in a Las Vegas public high school’s library soaking up the contents of a quantum physics textbook. But the attention wasn’t always innocent and harmless, and he learned that the hard way through the ruthless bullying he suffered through his high school experience.

To think that teenagers, some almost six years older than him, bullied him to feel a sense of power was sickening when he thought back on it, but he supposed it was a natural part of Darwin’s theory of evolution at play; survival of the fittest, and Spencer was far from the fittest. He was physically small at that age, as any ten year old would be, with knobby knees and too-small hands, but that only made him a primary target for bullies.

The goal post incidence would forever remain engrained in his memories, and even though it had been over ten years ago, Spencer would never forget the pain, humiliation, and shame he felt after that day. He had been so uncomfortable in his own skin, thinking things about himself that twelve year olds shouldn’t have to think. He didn’t like his body, and had come to hate it more and more as the years went by.

College should have been where the bullying ended, but it didn’t. Twelve - almost thirteen - year old Spencer trudged into his first ever class at Caltech with those same dirty Converse and his mother’s old peacoat since he was now tall enough to wear it without it going below his knees, and the looks were still the same. Some were harmless, others malicious; he told himself it was normal to be hated by those who didn’t understand him. He came to expect it, and at the tender age of fifteen, he began to realize another aspect of himself that would bring him hatred from others for the rest of his life.

Spencer was gay.

He didn’t know what exactly made him realize it. He had been sitting at the desk in his individual dorm room one day (since the university thought he was too young to dorm with another student) with an Abstract Algebra textbook open in front of him while he scratched out impossible equations in his notebook. And suddenly his hand seized movement, his eyes rose, and he looked out the window into the cool December air. A young man was walking across the street two stories below, with olive skin and unruly brown curls, and when he glanced up towards Spencer’s figure in the window. He smiled, and Spencer was breathless.

That was all it took. He had never thought about it much in the past, since he was so heavily caught up in his studies and more concerned with his education than anything else, but the minute those emerald eyes locked with his own, he was reminded of the fact that all human beings crave affection from someone, and in Spencer’s case, he just so happened to wish for it to be a man.

He was once again faced with self-deprecating thoughts, fearing the judgement that would certainly come his way should others know of his identity. He felt like he was constantly holding his breath whenever he went out in public, like he was one second away from screaming out to the world ‘I’m gay,’ just to get the pain and humiliation over with. He didn’t know much about gay culture, and as intelligent as he was, he didn’t know much about gay history either. So as well as doing research on his own, he took a course called Queer History the next semester. In that class, he met Ethan, and together, they explored their sexualities and Spencer had never been more sure of anything in his entire life. He was gay, and that was okay.

They drifted apart naturally, with no hard feelings or animosity, and even today, they remained friends, only contacting each other occasionally. Reid would sometimes pay his old friend a visit if the team ever traveled down to New Orleans, and seeing Ethan behind a piano always seemed to calm him. He was truly talented, and although many chastised him for wasting his intelligence in order to be a jazz musician, Reid couldn’t fault him in the slightest. He was doing what he loved, being who he loved, and that was all that mattered.

It wasn’t until Spencer met Derek that he began to think a little differently about himself. He had always had so many issues with his self esteem and the way he viewed his body, and even before their relationship turned into something more than a platonic friendship, Derek went out of his way to make Spencer feel better about himself. He called him ‘pretty boy,’ encouraged him to go on dates often, feigned jealousy regarding Spencer’s intelligence. When they became a couple, those efforts increased tenfold. Sometimes with no real reason he would compliment Spencer, throwing in pet names as a form of shared intimacy between them. They would make beautiful love together at night, writing poetry with their lips, composing symphonies with their joined bodies. He would wake up the next day in bed with Derek, and Derek would greet him with a deep voice that creeped over his skin like ivy, saying, “Good morning, beautiful.”

Over the years, those looks remained of course, but for the most part, he had learned to block it out, because he had proved time and time again, both to himself and others, that he was undeserving of needless judgements. He was fine the way he was, and while nobody was perfect, he had grown comfortable with himself. Of course he still had moments of doubt and he was still occasionally dysphoric of his body, appearance, personality, but Derek, ever the loving partner, would guide his thoughts in the other direction, and with gentle kisses and soft murmurs, Reid would feel better. Performing in drag definitely helped too, because a drag queen could not be a good performer if she wasn’t confident. But he lacked the confidence of Bria Monique in himself, and sometimes he wished he had merely an ounce of the confidence she possessed. But he was getting better, slowly but surely.

Which was why when he walked into the bullpen alongside Morgan on a seemingly normal morning, a sheer layer of lip gloss coating his lips and a dusting of pale pink blush over his high cheekbones, he nearly stumbled over himself when all eyes seemed to lock onto him. The whispers started, subtle in nature, but they pierced through his brain like a dagger, and not even Derek’s hand on the small of his back could erase the overwhelming sense of shame that swelled in the pit of his stomach. They knew. Word must have spread like wildfire, and it certainly didn’t help that most of the bureau followed along with the BAU’s cases, since they played out like a police procedural sometimes.

What bothered him the most though was that David Rossi stood just outside of his office, leaning over the railing and watching the scene play out like it was some sort of entertainment, a neutral, unreadable expression on his face. Spencer felt nauseous all of a sudden, and he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so uncomfortable in his own skin. He pushed away from Derek, not with malice, but with the need to simply get away from prying eyes, and his closest refuge was the restroom just outside of the bullpen. He quickly found a stall and threw himself to the ground before that porcelain throne, dispelling the contents of his stomach into the bowl and feeling a sob force its way from his throat. He hardly even noticed Morgan who was there with him almost immediately after, holding his chestnut curls back with one hand and rubbing his back, just between his shoulder blades, with the other.

“It’s okay… You’re gonna be okay, baby,” Derek said softly to him, hating the sight of his lover crying so openly. “Let’s get you cleaned up… We can talk to Hotch about this, get it sorted out.” And while he knew that Derek was only trying to be reassuring, it still hurt like a bitch to become the focus of all of that negative attention once again. He didn’t say anything at first, reaching blindly for toilet paper which Derek was happy to supply him with before wiping his mouth and nose with it, using another piece for his eyes. Morgan managed to get him out of the stall and standing in front of the row of sinks, he was faced with his reflection, and he was disgusted with himself. He turned the water on, splashing it on his face and practically scrubbing the light makeup off of his face with his fingertips. He looked up slowly, catching the dark bags under his eyes and other imperfections on his face, and he broke down once again. People couldn’t accept him either way. Derek pulled him in, and Spencer melted into the embrace as sobs shook his shoulders.

“Do you want to go back home, Spencer?” Derek asked softly, pulling away to catch sight of Spencer’s tearful honey-brown eyes, and he gently cupped his cheek. His thumb caught a tear that was just beginning to fall past his bottom lashes, and with a sniffle, he shook his head. That would be like admitting weakness.

“N-No, I-I just… I just need a minute,” he murmured rather lamely, pulling away from Derek and pulling a few paper towels from the dispenser to dry his face and wipe away his tears. “Then we can… We can go talk to Hotch,” he said, his voice dropping in volume considerably when he said that, like it was embarrassing. It was, but it was what they should do. He felt uncomfortable, singled out, and while talk and gossip was bound to spread, he hadn’t expected it to be so obvious.

“Take your time, pretty boy. Deep breaths, okay?” Derek reminded him, rubbing a hand over his back yet again as Spencer leaned heavily against the edge of the skin, exhaling shakily and doing as Morgan said. He needed to calm down if he wanted to go out there again, but he wasn’t sure if he could ever face his colleagues the same way again. Eventually though, he managed to collect himself, and the two exited the bathroom and walked quickly to Hotch’s office, Spencer keeping his head bowed in shame the entire time while Derek escorted him with an arm around him the entire way.

Once inside, however, they weren’t expecting to see Rossi inside, sitting down in the seat in front of Aaron’s desk. The two seemed to be chatting amicably while Hotch filled out paperwork simultaneously, but both men raised their heads at the intrusion, and instantly, Hotch took notice of his youngest agent’s flushed face and swollen eyes. He said nothing though, giving either Spencer or Derek the opportunity to explain. Rossi looked on curiously, but he remained silent, paying special attention to the contact between the two men.

“Hotch, we’ve gotta talk, man,” Derek said simply as he closed the door behind them, “How did details of the case leak?”

Hotch was silent for a few moments, setting his pen down and sighing, “It was bound to happen, Morgan. It was getting a lot of attention from the media due to the social justice concerns that arose from it. We cannot control what the media does with the information they retrieve,” he said, folding his hands across his desk, “Nor can we control how others react to seeing such news.”

“So… what? You just want Reid to deal with it?” Morgan asked, narrowing his brows. Spencer stood awkwardly alongside him, glancing over at his partner since the anger was radiating from him in waves.

“What do you want me to do, Morgan?” Hotch asked, clearly a bit exacerbated, “I believe the bureau is considering a mandatory seminar regarding discrimination and harassment in the workplace, but I can’t force them to do it.”

“Of course,” Reid said then, nodding his head a bit sheepishly, “I-I understand…”

“It came across as quite a shock, kid. No offense,” Rossi said, truly sounding genuine but the way his dark eyes roved over him made Spencer feel incredibly vulnerable. “It was, ah… shocking, to say the least. You can’t be surprised that people reacted the way they did.”

“David,” Hotch said warningly, but Reid was already raising an eyebrow, his expression turning into one made of both confusion and surprise.

“What does that mean?” Reid asked slowly, and Rossi simply raised his hands in exasperation as if it were clearly obvious to everyone.

“Oh, Reid… You have to understand how strange it is. Men don’t belong in women’s clothes, it’s just unnatural!” He exclaimed, and Reid shrunk into himself a little bit as the volume rose in the small office. Hotch rose from his desk slowly, catching Reid’s panicked eyes.

“I don’t think you get to choose what type of clothing someone wears,” Reid said simply, “People can wear whatever types of clothes they want to. I don’t wear women’s clothing in my casual life but I’m quite familiar with women’s clothing due to my hobby, which is not unnatural and is completely harmless.”

“Reid…” Rossi started, shaking his head, but Reid wasn’t finished just yet.

“Maybe you should come to one of my shows sometime. Then you’ll see how unnatural it is for me to feel comfortable in my own body and enjoy myself. You have no idea how many straight men have tried to take me home. I bet even you wouldn’t be able to keep your eyes off of me, David,” he said smoothly with an air of confidence, huffing a bit and glaring sharply at Rossi, making direct eye contact, something he was not known to do. In fact, Hotch and Morgan shared a look of surprise, and even Rossi was left speechless. Derek had never seen his lover like that before, but he was swelling with pride at seeing Spencer defend himself. Reid didn’t feel an ounce of regret for anything he said, and was in fact quite satisfied with himself.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to fix my makeup,” he said with no hesitation, turning on his heel and leaving even Derek in the office as he returned to the bathroom to do just what he said. When he emerged, pink gloss glistening on his diamond lips and translucent blush shimmering on his cheeks, he walked to his desk with his head held high, and even as the whispers continued around him, he sat himself down and got to work, just like he always did. Derek watched him from his own desk and Spencer’s eyes lifted to meet his gaze. He didn’t have to be afraid of judgement anymore, and even if Rossi couldn’t accept him, he would always have someone.

“I love you,” Derek mouthed, and Spencer beamed, feeling more content with himself than he had in a long time.

“As you should,” Spencer said aloud in response, looking down at his work and not missing the guffaw of laughter that came from his lover.

He may always have demons, but he would always have Derek too.

<-Part 8: What a Woman

[bitch-in-a-bag]

can we talk about how the LGBT movement has changed in the past 15 years?

in the light of the events surrounding Chris chan, and people prioritizing pronouns over the rape of a woman with dementia, I think it displays just how... different things are.

i personally feel like it's been co-opted by the more loud and entitled mtfs/ males/penis-havers/whatever pc term exists for the XY chromosome'd, who go too far and aren't reasonably kept in check. I think terf no longer has meaning anymore because it's just become a word we use to silence anyone that disagrees with a trans woman. immediately you're going to call me a terf, I accept that, but please continue reading. I may suprise you. calling someone who's transgender a terf is kinda messed up anyway, and that's exactly why im writing this.

I also think that everyone else (allies, ftms, etc) have followed suit because they've written this messed up narrative that EvErYoNe iS VaLiD. except for trans penis-havers, bc they're the most oppressed and the most valid, actually, regardless of their experiences.

I never used to believe the above because it was always written off as terf shit, and ignoring it kinda benefitted me, but between seeing ftms getting bashed for refusing to follow new "TME" rules as if they aren't trans too, and seeing outrage around Chris chans pronouns, I think it's time to start saying things that may make people uncomfortable. innocent people are already getting hurt by this, and we need to do better. it's time to get uncomfortable.

I want to remind you that perception is both the relying factor, and also the downfall of newer lgbt theory. if my profile were mtf coded, maybe it currently is, you'd call me a self hating trans and I wouldn't be that big of a deal. terfs would probably target me.

if my profile was ftm coded, I would be absolutely skewered for daring to speak out about these issues, even though they do actually affect ftms disproportionately. terfs would try to convince me that being trans is a plague and a mental illness, and to just ~be a cis woman~!

and if assumed cis, I would 100% be assumed radfem terf, and everything I say would immediately be dismissed because of the genuine damage terfs have done. but terfs would still probably flock to this post and berate me for daring to validate trans people At All, because to them, being transgender is a mental illness akin to an eating disorder, and "giving in" to it is "self harm". clearly I don't believe that, so hopefully you'll give me at least some benefit of the doubt.

so, does my identity matter? i have a feeling you'll say yes, because it gives us a good idea of experiences I do and don't have expertise in, and thus room to talk about. but I refuse to directly identify what I actually am because I want the focus of any resulting conversation to be my message and not my self identification. if you read between the lines and figure it out that's just fine, but I would like to be heard first and foremost.

my profile is thus an attempt at being cis female coded, somewhat out of comfort, and that is likely what I'll be assumed to be due to the beliefs I am expressing, even though there is a substantial risk of getting misgendered and dismissed, no matter what my birth sex may actually be. i will give you a hint about my identity: I am transgender, on HRT and everything, and I have been personally affected by all of this. rest assured, this is well within my lane to speak about, and it does matter if you misgender me.

I want you to really think about that. before you respond, really think about if someone saying words on tumblr, talking about their OWN experiences and their take on recent history that applies to themself, really more worthy of being misgendered and harassed than... someone who said they transitioned so they could date lesbians, and then raped their own mother with dementia.

is that fair or just? or is this just a new way of letting people with penises do whatever they want? I personally think it's the latter. we need to hold people like Chris chan accountable without getting caught up on something as minor **in comparison** as misgendering and self identification. Is it sad and confusing that someone who self IDs as transgender became 1:1 with the most dangerous stereotypes that exist for trans women? Of course it is. But it doesn't mean that self identification is suddenly more important than a literal crime being committed.

I would normally dismiss it as a fluke or outright trolling if the evidence weren't so damning that this is in fact a real event that happened. If I hadn't seen this happen to other people, and if I didn't literally know another mtf person who used their dysphoria as an excuse for date rape on multiple occasions and never got any consequences for it.

It's not a one time thing, it's a developing problem that we need to stop before more people have their lives ruined. I can't even imagine how traumatizing and messed up it is for an FTM person to be date raped, by another transgender person no less. When I, an abuse survivor, told people of this MTFs red flags, people violently silenced me. People who didn't know I was trans called me a terf and transphobic. We, as a community, could've protected someone from getting date raped, and we didn't. Trans women can be awful, horrible fucking people, because they are people. Protecting them at all costs is wrong. Protecting them from transphobia is what we should be doing.

That being said, misgendering is still skeevy, and I haven't done anything like raped a disabled woman who is no longer able to consent, or date raped my own partner. if you give a shit about respecting my identity, please use they/them for me. if not, use visual perception and make assumptions that will most likely be incorrect, skew your own argument, and put me on the same level as a rapist, and arguably a fetishist. And I do need to remind you that calling someone transgender a rapist and a fetishist without evidence is still definitely classic transphobia, to the letter, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that.

as someone who is same sex attracted, I also want to bring this up as well.

in the US in the past 15 years, the movement as a whole pretty much went "YEAH BORN THIS WAY" with Lady Gaga, and then jumped ship to prioritize mostly mtfs at every angle. do mtfs need support? absolutely. but they don't need misguided toxic positivity, and that's what it's turned into.

it's gotten genuinely homophobic to the point where actually homosexual people are constantly being erased and demonized via "genital preferences are a fetish uwu", and vulva havers, especially the trans ones, are constantly being told to shut up about their experiences.

as much as you want to deny bioessentialism, its still very much well and alive with newer trans movement sentiments when we classify ftms as not worthy of speaking about their own issues with terms like "TME". it's also incredibly ignorant towards FTMs who pass, but dress feminine for comfort, and get mistaken for MTF, and treated like garbage because of it. They are not remotely exempt from misogyny, transphobia, or the intersection of the two, and it is not anyone's job to tell them they don't ever experience that when they do. Turning ftms and biological homosexuals into our enemies-- especially when the actual cause is transphobia and harmful gender stereotypes-- does nothing good or healthy for our movement.

Dont be mistaken, though, passing isn't the focus or end all be all here, it's the perception of others that ends up drastically effecting your experiences. There are words like misogyny that imply treatment via birth sex, however this too can be reliant on external perception. If an MTF individual either transitions very young, has an abundance of resources to transition, or just gets lucky and passes well, chances are she will experience a lot more misogyny than people may give credit to. inversely, someone who just started questioning yesterday, but lived as a male their whole life up until then, they genuinely cannot speak about misogyny with that much room because they simply haven't experienced it at an accurate enough angle or for enough time to understand it as a repeated and sociological force.

It works the other way as well, though; someone who's known that they're trans for a long time and haven't had the resources to transition, or do not or cannot pass in the eyes of society; these people suffer pain that we don't neccesarily have a word for yet, imo. It makes dysphoria worse and it makes living seem hopeless. And as a community, we deal with this is in a really messed up way by over-validating them instead of solving the core issue at hand. and people who suffer from this, but also acknowledge they can't claim what they haven't experienced, are left with nowhere to go.

And its important to acknowledge these things because they're integral to the over-encompassing trans experience. Instead of lying to everyone and telling everyone they pass/giving out unconditional positive regard, our focus should be making it so that it **doesn't matter if you pass**. that you're still worth respect and dignity if you're transgender, no matter what passing is or what it means to you, and no matter how you present. But also, if you do something awful, you still need to be held accountable, especially if you use yourself, your body, or your trans status to contribute to other axi of oppression.

Transphobia is a word that encompasses and addresses all of that, regardless of birth sex. "TME" shuts that down in favor of only letting MTF's speak. Which is still very bio-essentialist, and I can't help but feel like we've gone full circle.

Once upon a time you couldn't even get married if your partner had the same genitals as you. in the US, this was less than 7 years ago. and if you care about human rights activism, you know damn well that legal modification is not the end all be all. people who are genuinely homosexual are still oppressed, but the trans movement has started stepping on them to make ground we don't deserve. homosexuals are ok and valid. it's not a genital preference, and the prescence of trans people doesn't make conversion therapy sentiments ok, ever.

we've gone full circle, and it's not right.

[simonjadis]

No one’s experiences are universal, and there are a multitude of ways of telling queer stories , , ,

Personally, during high school, I experienced little to no homophobia (except from my dad). I “subtly” hooked up with a guy in the middle of an afterschool club when I was 15. I wore a dress with my Halloween costume my senior year. These were in 2003 and 2004 respectively (I’m 1000 years old), when noted war criminal George W Bush was making opposition to my rights as a human being a central platform of his reelection campaign (the rest was just name-dropping 9/11 every other word in his speeches to imply that opposition to him was unpatriotic). There were same-sex couples at school dances. One of our swim team’s top athletes was gay (he incidentally was killed a few years ago after heroically pushing people out of the way of a vehicle of armed people fleeing a shooting that they had committed).

(X)

But I went to a high school that was queer-friendly as well as racially and religiously diverce. My experience was neither universal nor typical of the time. Only when I went to college and met people who had experienced horrible bullying. I’ve met peole who had been kicked out of their homes or attacked by classmates or targeted for ridicule by teachers. In some cases, they experienced anti-queer bullying even without coming out, or even without being conscious that they were queer (denial is a hell of thing, and I’ve been there).

Their experiences are not universal, either. ALL of those experiences were real. It would therefore be realistic to give a fictional character any of those experiences.

But ...

I think that, first of all, there’s a difference between having, say, a bi main character and telling bi stories. Is your story about someone awakening and freeing an ancient lich to face a new threat that the current world cannot stop, and also that someone is bi and might have one or more datemates of any gender? great!

that’s not the same as telling, say, someone’s personal journey that is inherently about their bisexuality as they navigate life as a queer person in our world with the unique struggles and pitfalls that they might face

what I mean is that I, a white person, have many characters of color, but I would never try to tell the story of what it means to be a person of color. I simply do not feel that it is my place to write narratives about the transatlantic slave trade or jim crow or even more positive stories of what it means to be black. but telling a story about a black vampire or a latine with who lives in a floating crystal mountain or anything else is inclusion, rather than speaking over someone who could tell those stories more authentically

(also there’s a general pattern in hollywood of “black movies” so often being about slavery or jim crow, which is extremely limiting and while it’s out of my lane to lay out exactly why that sucks, plenty of actors and storytellers of color have already explained it; I wanted to list that example as something that I wouldn’t cover but I don’t want to conflate unique racial challenges with unique challenges of sexuality and gender, but I will remind everyone that a person can face both and so much more and still be a deeply realistic character)

there are also worldbuilding questions -- is there transphobia in a fantasy setting dominated by centaurs? is there homophobia on a space station in 2243? are there ace exclusionists in an undersea kingdom? I hope not, but maybe your story needs those. that’s a deeply personal choice on the part of any writer, and readers will have opinions in both directions

let’s say that you’re writing a story in an Earth-like setting and you want to include a realistic dose of homophobia. maybe even at a dramatic moment

think about how it might serve the story, or characterization. but also think about how your readers are going to feel

one suggestion is to remember that not all stories featuring homophobia have unhappy endings, as one bigoted bozo learned a couple of years ago

not everyone who is a target for bigotry has to come out of the situation worse for wear. seeing stories of marginalized people surviving and thriving can be so good.

I also want to note that sometimes a vicious (or especially over-the-top) bigoted attack in books can feel cheap or even deliberately emotional manipulative. there’s a difference between a queer 14-year-old writing fanfic about a character with whom they identify facing their struggles and being comforted by a romantic interest and an adult writing the exact same scenario . . . if that makes sense

as exhausting as it can be for marginalized communities to see their oppressors seemingly “follow” them into any piece of representation in media that they receive, sometimes that can lead to really powerful, cathartic moments, like this moment when a gay actor’s character tells a nazi exactly what he thinks of him

it’s true and he should say it

But again, whether your character, in our world or another, faces oppression for being queer has to make sense within the setting. it can be very realistic for a person in a homophobic world to avoid direct bigoted bullying entirely if they’re in the right environment within that world

I don’t normally say this, but ... Age-Appropriate Wolf did that well, with multiple adults at the school and among parents being queer-friendly

that show did most things wrong and got worse over time but I do give them points for making a high school without pervasive homophobia because it’s what they want to see in the world

It’s always up to the storyteller, and the audience will have opinions no matter what.