#lets go douches
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Giant Douche Alert!
Team Giant Douche make an account on here and private message me your usernames, ill add all of us to a chat on there! https://web.webex.com/sign-in
@alister312 @vegetabletaxi @kylebroflvskii @thecrowthatdraws
@its-astr0philia @0-dear-rose-0 @justanartistiguess @lozislaw
@al-debaran26 @galatic-gazer @plugnuts
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Listen, it's not my fault that I'm the standard If I had it my way, we'd all be perfect
Caius on his way to see his boyfriend, Simon, on his last night in town, unaware this night will contain:
meeting the bf's sisters and brother
breaking into a cathedral
participating in a ritual to free a Ravnos elder from underneath
aaand staking Simon's oldest sister to take the elder's place. Sorry, Elisabeta.
It does seem like the rest of the siblings like him, though, and probably their (great-great?) grandma.
Weirdly, it was surprisingly romantic, and he might be married(-ish?) now. If things go south in New Orleans, he'll always have a place in Budapest.
#vtm#vampire the masquerade#caius lennox#oc#toreador#vtm oc#now simon is gone but caius is crazy about him#and hes crazy about caius#so uh lets see how a vampire ldr works#caius will for no apparent reason start investing in equipment to record and broadcast his gigs online#also hopefully despite being 100+ years old simon can use video calls or something#or caius might die#he almost left the campaign to go with them#aaalmost#at one point he was knee-deep in stagnant water beneath the church#thinking 'i douched for THIS??'#it took way too much effort to make this NOT look like Link#apparently being a light-haired twink in a tunic makes you one ocarina away from being the hero of time#also he and simon have been dating like a week#peak whirlwind romance#just toreador things
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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew
#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention#my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day#so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain#and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music#nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool#but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul#like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently#i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything#I DIDNT KNOW#that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage#anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros#i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on#and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years#and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol#more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well#i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john#i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche#but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave#(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now#i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh#and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs#the most in the bunch almost every time as well#the beatles#p
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We’ve gotten to the point of the Mr Beast scandal where ppl are bragging about never having heard of him before this as if that makes them somehow untainted lol
#myp#Somerton’s vibes were always smarmy but I appreciated the ‘research’ he ‘did’ until I found out. But yah I fell for his lies#Not ashamed of that. I didn’t watch Mr Beast and dont know what his target demographics (kids right???) were but I#just saw some lameass post saying ‘my douche coworker wanted to tell me smth about mr beast—‘ like ok#I’m pretty certain the reason the scandal is so big is bc he portrayed himself like a saint but. seeing as neither of us know shit lets shit#that wasn’t what I meant to type but I laughed so it stays. Let’s all go shit boys#also I will not be reblogging the post this is vagueing about bc thats mean but I’ll dm it to you if you’re nosy lol#swag 👍🏼
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well boss said reese has no indication of any uti or crystals only a tiny amount of red blood cells which can be caused by the manual expression. coworker insisted there was no point in taking rads to see if he's blocked from the string so going to try some laxaire and hope 😬🤞🏻also then my boss gave me a ride to the bus stop so i didn't have to carry the huge crate which was uncharacteristically nice of him 🤨
#already plotting in my head how trying to get him into emergency surgery on the weekend would go and its not great#on account of the fact that i simply do not have enough thousands of dollars for the er proper. or a way to get there but i could probably#figure that one out but not so much the money#he had a god awful time he had to see a d*g and that was horrible he hissed at it (chihuahua less than 1/3 his size)#he was SO scared i feel horrible and i almost cried a lot of times just from looking at him 😭#anyway i'm glad we did a ua though that does help some of my anxiety but now the problem is the string#it probably had a big knot in it so i'm not totally convinced it would even be able to exit the stomach but if it did thats terrifying#i don't think it was super long just the big knot#coworker also insisted strings cant cause blockages only intussuseptions which does not sound right to me particularly if it was a bulky#but not long string such as this one. but what do i m#*know#i'm still really stressed and we have to move tomorrow ugh#i forgot to grab the laxaire at the clinic so i'm going to have to go out and get some but i have to go drop off a goodwill bag anyway#ugh also while my coworker was trying to get pee from him she said “if you bite me i'll smack you in the face i dont care if your moms here”#and i didnt say anything but if she had done that i think i would have lost my mind. what the fuck is wrong with you#she is like that with all of the animals and it drives me insane or like she'll brag about how her rottweiler lifted his lip at her so she#beat him and stepped on his head (???) like some would accurately identify this as animal abuse and yet youre a vet tech???#like these animals are all having a horrible day why the fuck don't you have two seconds of patience instead of immediately going to#“oh you threatened to bite me let me force you into tonic immobility”. again what the fuck is wrong with you#same woman who justified hitting kids in the face btw. of course#my boss is actually much nicer to them for the most part than she is he's just a total douche to people (me) its weird#like i just think you should not have made your lifes work being a vet tech if you think its cool and fine to smack dogs and cats around for#not immediately doing what you want or for expressing discomfort or fear#and they are almost all fear reactive i think there have been maybe two cats that i would describe as aggressive and not just fear reactive#and i'm probably wrong honestly! theres always a reason#anyway. please everyone pray or vibe or whatever that my cat doesnt get his guts tied in knots because i dont have $10000 and his insurance#doesn't kick in for two weeks i think (i got it last night in a panic having intended to do it months ago but thought he had to have a vet#relationship in order to get it)#i'm still really scared lol. god bless#me
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story time: want to know why my sona is (and will always be) an alien?
cause my entire life, my ethnicity was called that derogatorily. Every single person who wasn’t white and didn’t speak English fluently was an “illegal alien.” It was spit out like venom, like a slur. People took a look at my family, my community, and scrunched their noses, deeming them dirty for speaking with a Latin American accent if they could even speak English.
However; I love aliens. I personally think the concept of aliens to be an inspiring thought, that we AREN’T alone. We AREN’T completely unique in this world. There’s a being similar to us, at least in intelligence, with a whole new set of customs and rules and appearance than one’s self. An opportunity to grow and for human empathy to expand.
Yet, in this case, I’M the alien. I’m the thing people are afraid of just for seeming different, even if we’re the same. My people, my community, my ethnicity, we’re all dehumanized in that way. They don’t want to admit we come from a similar stem of nerves, tissue, muscles, organs. We’re treated like invaders from some stupid movie. It’s very jarring to see how different people treat me if they deem me as white passing vs if they see me for who I am.
But I’m not going to let them ruin my love for aliens. If this is what humans are: cowards of the unknown, people who don’t understand a thing about anything outside of their own bubble: then fuck it, I’m happily an alien. I’m taking that that title and molding it as something to be proud of, and they can’t do anything about it.
#and I will never be afraid to admit it#USA#politics#US politics#go fuck yourself if you have a problem with that#I’m not letting myself hate something I’ve always loved just because of some douche with a bad tan
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once again at my wits end bc of men
#rant ////#i hate being afab sometimes bc no matter what i do ill always get shit in return. this is the second time the hospital cafe staff has been#little “too friendly�� w me already and it hasnt even been a month(::: this one patient is strating to drive me crazy bc istg if u dare ask#one more personal question im not responsible for what will happen. no i cant give u my pen bc u already got one and why do u specifically#want mine?? its nne of ur business if im wearing a white coat or scrubs??? stfu and let me redo ur bandages over ur catheter#MAYBE IF U HAD S KEPT QUIET INSTEAD OF CONSTANTLY ASKING ME IRRELEVANT THINGS THAT R STARTING TO FEEL LIKE HARRASSMENT MAYBE IT WOULDNT HUR#but also u kno what? i just applied over the flaster to FIXATE so yea i have to apply a little pressure. dont “ouch it hurt” me ur a grown#ass man tf#no i told u tons of times idk ur treatment plan nor am i responsible for it stop asking me stop calling ot for me LEAVE ME ALONE#if youre told u cant leave ur room to wander off whya re u asking me again??? thne going "yea well ill go n if they ask ill say my disciple#doc allowed me“ no i didnt?? ”well my number is written there anyways“ so?? its not my concern? just stay put ur average bp is 17 and u r#stil going out to smoke do you have a fucing death wish or smt#also leave me alone and no u cant call me anything other than doctor. stop acting like a douche u dont act like this to my friend. is it b#im afab and hes not? yeah im sure it is BC THATS ALWAYS THE CASE IN THIS GODDAMN COUNTRY AND IM SICK OF BEING EITHER TREATED W DISRESPECT W#WHEN I TRY TO MAINTAIN THAT FRIENDLY DISTANCE A REGULAR DOC PUTS ON JUST BC IM NOT A CIS MALE. bc wow when youre afab youre eithre asking#for it or youre a rude bitch its no inbetween im so tired
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I love you THC I love you CBD I love you CBN I love you CBG I love you CBC I love you all the other minor cannabinoids. I love you cannabis. :^)
#this isnt about oo look at me im a cool stoner#this is about how weed has been saving my ass the last few days and how no matter how much it costs i sure do just love going to#and being in dispensaries#truly my element#love that my last couple jobs have been in the cannabis industry like yessss lets keep that goingggg#anyways. atm i have my THC my CBD and my CBN vapes all on my chest and brother i am playing them like a pan flute#not really i have 2 batteries and 3 tips this is actually ultra tragic but it is what it is#sorry for the stoner post but also not cause honestly weed is truly just one of my favorite topics :^) it just sucks that it makes you like#instantly come off as a douche or just kinda. drug addict-y to anyone who doesnt enjoy it#which i totally understand and i dont like acting that way#but like. damn i do love it for myself :^) yessiree i love me my marijuana.#anyways. byeee
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i love you guys so much meme left is Mia and Ethan from Resident Evil and Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin from t100
#the 100#resident evil#bellarke#mithan#will i elaborate? maybe#simple answer (as I haven't watched the show in a bit)#characters make mistake and do very dark things#hated by the fandom to a extortionate amount? check#ethan for killing the lords/ not being a therapist to the people trying to fucking kill him#mia for being involved with evie (valid however most of the hate i've seen has positioned Mia in a position of power)#and made no mention of her boss director (actually called that in game) douche and makes no mention of how much worse lucas/miranda is#clarke for being forced into hard choices (both in show and out of show she is hated for being forced between bomb or gun so many times)#bellamy for attacking an innocent army of grounders (bleh) and just daring to exist in the presence of a white woman etc (lot of it is bs)#and the positives clarke protecting bellamy not knowing what will happen to her/ sending her daughter to the frontlines of a war#(i do have problems with the latter on account of 12 year old and other things)#bellamy seeing morse code being tapped out on clarks arm and going clarke is still alive lets get her back/ the entire CPR scene#valeveira (and cleon) is somewhere between them and jeresa n a bi4bi way#you know devotion connections etc#mia winters#ethan winters#bellamy blake#clarke griffin
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you know how sometimes your parents show you something when you're a kid and they're like "haha hey look at this cool thing" and it burrows into your psyche forever in a way they absolutely did not intend for it to
that's me with the greco-italian war and specifically the political comics that got made about the poor widdle impovewished gweeks absolutely whipping mussolini's ass
#my dad's got a whole book about the conflict and international reactions to it [spoiler: the uk left greece in the lurch] and he let me read#it when i was like eight? because it's a lot of political cartoons and illustrations and stuff#they are all so fucking funny#there's one of il douche going 'once i start i cannot be stopped!' while falling down the stairs#i am sure this is not how anyone expected this post to end but
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Oh yeaaaah baby
Wendy and Tweek being friends + punk/short haired Wendy and goth Stan for @fandom-freek !!!
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" don't tell me my husband paid you extra to babysit me tonight . or wait , let me guess ⸻ he's making sure i'm too occupied to walk in on him fucking other women . "
#here's diana !!!#idk where i was going with this#but#i love u#definitely leaning towards the forbidden vibe because she's miserably married#and her husband is a douche and wont let her go#but she's not stupid either so skdfjds
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I’m not usually into politics but I fee very strongly about this;
#south park#giant douche#turd sandwich#controvercial#politics#southpark#giant douche vs turd sandwich#Cartman vs Kyle#voting#let’s go cows#you killed Kenny#you bastards#this is important#important#importance#vote or die
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Me: *sees something annoying about Shuro dunmeshi* ...
My brain: ...Shuro def-
Me: Absolutely Not
#you see part of my brain still cherishes the combat training it received in fandom flame wars ca 2009#and the rest of me would rather not#platextsofmemories#but also like why do i see so much that acts like his feelings for falin were just like... shallow. or something?#like i know im still missing half the story but i also do not get the impression that he's like. mean. about her not feeling the same way#or that like this is some blind infatuation he has no sense of what she's really like#and he will be immediately disillusioned and dismissive when he realizes she's weird or whatever#like they've been in the same adventuring party for years. going on dungeon expeditions.#for god's sake the glamour shot of Falin with the caterpillar is /Toshiro's lovesick memory/#like he knows she's weird. and i know the manic pixie dream girl effect is real but it's not like. inevitable#i know he knows she's weird and i believe in my heart of heart he's genuinely into it#and i don't ship them! at all!#it just drives me crazy when like having an unrequited crush on a sapphic woman means he's obviously gotta be a douche bag#anyway. let he who did not chorus 'whoa hey' cast the first stone at shuro for his unfortunate loser crush
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pro heroes meeting their feisty, mcbling gf
♱ bakugou, kirishima, midoriya, dabi
♱ pt.2 here pt.3 here
note: it’s me, i’m the feisty mcbling gf 😞
Katsuki has been on shift for what feels like hours. In reality… well it has been hours. He’s been patrolling a smaller, more mundane part of Tokyo, where all he’s done is help little old ladies with their groceries and scold kids for trying to steal candy.
He was dying to get home.
So, when he heard a scream five minutes from patrol ending, the groan he let out was loud, unprofessional and frankly, really douche-y of him. But still, he flew towards the alley it echoed from.
He turned the corner, expecting a damsel in distress…
Only to see you.
Beating a man with a Juicy Couture suede bag, wobbling on platform sandals.
While this man lets out the girliest, highest-pitched screams Katsuki has ever heard in his life.
“That’s.” Hit. “What.” Hit. “You.” Hit. “Get!” Big hit!
Katsuki blinks out of his trance and takes a booming step toward you. “What the fuck’s goin on?”
You gasp and look up, and Katsuki swears his heart is echoing out of his chest.
Your s/c skin is everywhere, from your jean shorts to the cleavage practically spilling out your leopard print zip-up, and as you straighten up, he catches a glimpse of a belly ring that makes him gulp.
Your hair frames your face with a pair of sunglasses at the top of your head, showing off a fantastic scowl. Glittery eyes are met with furrowed brows, decorated with piercings-galore on your face, and two big hoops either side of your head.
“This prick!” You punctuate it with a nudge of your painted-pink toe, “Tried to rob me! I kneed him in his tiny balls.”
Katsuki raises a brow. You take a minute to glare at the guy, still whimpering, before you strut towards him with narrowed eyes.
You hate to admit it, but Dynamight was hotter in real life. Soot is smeared on his cheek and the scowl on his face sends his ruby-red lasers shooting through you.
“What? You have a staring problem?” You ask with a hand on your hip. Every ounce of confidence you’re letting off is soooo clearly fake right now, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
He shakes his head and looks around you to the poor guy on the floor. He’s not going anywhere, still curled up in a feral position and cradling his nads.
Katsuki sweats.
“Alright, sweetheart-”
You try to pretend it doesn’t make your heart skip a beat.
“Sweetheart?” He freezes and looks down at your cocked brow. “At least take me out for a drink first, Mr. Dynamight, c’mon.”
He clears his throat awkwardly, “Shit- sorry, I didn’t- look, you’re okay, right? No injuries?”
You’re inspecting your nails at this point, trying to avoid looking at the muscles in his hero costume. “Huh? Nah, but he should probably get checked out. Am I good to go?”
You sound eager to leave, but you make no move to when he nods.
Instead, you stand, scrutinising him with crossed arms. Katsuki hates to admit it, but even standing a whole foot taller than you, you’re making the blond blush.
“Okay, what? You need somethin’?” He gruffly says.
You glance back at the idiot still on the floor, and he flinches at your gaze.
“You don’t need my number for a report or somethin’?”
The words leave your mouth sooner than you can stop them, but you keep your face cool as your turn around. God, you need a smoke after this.
Katsuki’s hearts skips a beat, but his lip quirks up and he huffs out a chuckle. He reaches into one his pockets, and passes you his phone.
He’s still blushing, but God that man is grinning as well.
:::
Eijiro is mid-lat pulldown when he hears you through the full blast of his headphones. Being the manly pro he is, he takes an earbud out to hear the commotion.
“When I say fuck off, I mean fuck off! What part of that isn’t get through your thick skull?”
Eijiro watched as you scream in a steroid-fueled gym-bro’s face. You’re jabbing a pink nail in his chest, neon pink shorts matching to a sports bra and a small hoodie on your top half.
He gets off the machine, and a loud clang echoes through the gym - you don’t even notice.
“What, too much muscle blocking your brain from working?”
The guy is getting ready to respond, an ugly, violent grimace on his face. As Eijiro steps behind you and crosses his arms, the guy thinks twice.
He nods at you, and turns away, practically running.
You huff and tuck a loose piece of hair behind your hair.
“What was that?”
You jump at the voice and spin around with a shout. A chest- Jesus Christ, he’s tall. You’re face-to-chest with a man covered in muscle, a sharp-toothed smile and spiky, red hair to match it.
“Oh!”
…
…
He raises a brow and smiles at you.
A blush is fighting it’s way onto your face, but you’re too cool for that. Way too cool. So you clear your throat and stop staring at his adorable face for a minute.
“He wasn’t taking no for an answer,” You huff and cross your arms.
Eijiro frowns, “Shit, that sucks. Do you come here often?”
…
It’s your turn to raise a brow.
His face turns as red as his hair when he realises how stupid that sounded. It’s weirdly endearing watching such a large man blush and panic in front of you.
“N-no, like, I can get him banned if you’re a regular. I know the owners, so-”
“Where do I know you from?” You cut him off, doing mental gymnastics.
Eijiro freezes as he watches you. Your thick lashes touch your brows as you go wide-eyed, staring at him intently. So intently, he’s terrified to move a muscle.
You click your fingers and point a sparkly nail at his chest, “Red Riot! I knew I recognised you from somewhere.”
He grins and shrugs. “Yeah, that’s me.”
“I mean,” You trail off for a minute, using all your self-restraint to not blush or stutter in front of this fine-ass man, “if you ever wanted to come to rescue again, I could just give you my number?”
Eijiro has never grabbed his phone faster in his life.
:::
Izuku has been caught in the midst of little fans. Children are detaching themselves from parents, flying away from friend groups to crowd around for his autograph. He’s reminded again why he always wears a cap and glasses when he goes to the mall.
He just needed to pick up a pair of boxers, for Gods sake.
A little boy comes hurtling at him, but such is the norm. What he doesn’t see is the girl sprinting after him- sprinting in platform heels that is.
Jeans cling to you tighter than your zebra print top, and the tiny handbag on your shoulder keeps slipping down. Every step you take is a loud jingle with the massive array of jewellery you have on, and star-shaped clips in your hair keep slipping out.
“Deku! You’re the coole-”
“Isamu! Get back here!” You screech. Your sister was going to kill you if she knew the one time you took your nephew out for a little trip to the mall, you lost him.
Watching him talk to a stranger was almost the cherry on top.
You come to a skidding stop, somehow not hurtling over on your open-toed death machines, and grab the 5 year old by the armpits. Isamu let’s out an excited shriek and smiles at you.
Then he points to the guy.
That guy being the number one hero in Japan.
You nearly drop your nephew.
“Oh my God-”
“I’m so sorry-”
You both speak at the same time, then shut up, and just stare at each other like two idiots. He’s not in his costume - duh, idiot, he’s at the mall?- but he looks just as good as he does with his face plastered all over Tokyo.
Strong arms are straining the seams of his black shirt, and his dark hair is brushing the nape of his neck- it looks so soft-
“I’m really sorry, I should have come out with my hat on, sunglasses-”
“Please do not apologise for looking that good,” You mutter and roll your eyes. Then you freeze. Then you both look at each other, while you nibble your lip and smear your lipgloss everywhere.
“Deku! Can I have your auto map!” Isamu screeches from your arms, wiggling like a worm. It’s getting hard to hold him, so you plop him down and hold his hand instead.
“Autograph, buddy, not auto map,” You whisper in his ear.
Izuku’s heart skips a beat. You are gorgeous, silly and amazing with kids- I mean, what else could he really ask for?
He nods and crouched to Isamu’s height.
“Who am I making it out to, then?”
Isamu screams his government name so loud you want to cover your ears, but you just smile awkwardly at Izuku crouching under you.
He looks at you with his big, doe eyes and a soft smile. “What about you?”
“Oh, no, I don’t want an autograph-”
“Your name?”
Oh shit. You mutter it and watch with a smile as the pro scrawls on a notebook he miraculously pulled out from his arse. His round, perky-
“There you go, Isamu. It was great meeting you,” He pats your nephew’s head, who is practically beaming. “It was nice meeting you too, Y/n,” he adds, and turns away with a wave.
As you walk away, Isamu thrusts the paper in your hand.
“LOOK AT IT AUNTIE Y/N!!”
‘if it’s not too forward, id like you text me sometime y/n :)’ and next to the note is his number.
Cheeky bitch.
:::
Dabi has no fucking idea how he ended up in a bar blasting Kesha from the speakers with millennial women screaming ‘this was my party song!’ but he hates it.
Until he sees you.
You’re in the tiniest jean skirt he’s ever seen, and your ass cheeks are so close to popping out. If you’d just stopped swaying your hips and bend over, he’d get a glimpse-
But you turn around, and he watches you twist and turn in a matching halter top, jewellery adding rhythms to the music.
Dabi swears he has never seen anything as captivating as your baby pink lips mouth along to Die Young. God, was he really thinking that? In relation to Kesha? You must be special, he thinks to himself.
He makes no move, though. He sits at the bar, watching you tip back fruity cocktails and teeter on your fur-covered boots.
He looks away for a second, he swears, and suddenly you’re on the bar stool next to him. Not just sat, but staring. Like, blatantly staring right at him.
He mirrors you, leaning on his palm and watching you.
You’d be lying if you tried to say his cerulean eyes weren’t doing something to you, but there were more pressing issues at hand.
“You’ve been staring at me all night.”
It’s a fact, he has been.
A smile curls onto his lips, and he shifts so he’s closer to you. “Have I? Didn’t notice…”
You’re drunk. Like, much too drunk, because his face is a blur- a handsome blur though. You are aware enough to tell he’s staring at your tits, though.
You click your fingers in his face and he looks back up at you. There’s a moment on his face where he looks shocked, but a bigger smirk replaces it.
“Sorry, hun-”
“Hun? What am I, 5?”
He leans forward, and the overwhelming stench of a beach fire is fighting with your Britney Spears perfume. The air starts to smell like burnt sugar around you, and it’s weirdly compelling.
“What do you want me to call you then?”
“Well, you’ll need my number to call me.”
It takes you a minute to realise how dumb that was- you’re drunk and that is not what he meant, but it made him drop the cool boy act. He stared at you for a second with wide eyes before chuckling under his breath.
“You are somethin’, princess…”
“Princess?”
“Yeah, the skirt and all the pink- very princessy,” He gestured to your outfit before pulling out… a burner phone.
You really should not have drank that much, because you don’t even care to question it as you’re typing you digits in.
note: ffs i didn’t make izuku’s gf feisty enough 😞
#{ mcbling baddie }#bnha x reader#bnha#mha#mha x reader#bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#eijiro#eijiro kirishima#eijiro kirishima x reader#kirishima x reader#izuku#izuku midoriya#midoriya x reader#izuku midoriya x reader#dabi#dabi x reader#bnha x mcbling reader
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jack & luke loving quinn’s gf almost as much as he does bc suddenly they have an older sister they can call for advice on the most random things…
“so, hypothetically, if i wanted to get a pedicure, would they give it to me since i’m a guy?” jack asks you over the phone.
you stop in your tracks, right in front of your car, baffled at the question. “jack, is this seriously what you called me four times about?”
“i mean, yeah. you weren’t picking up. thought you and quinn might be screwing and wanted to break that up as soon as i thought about it,” he admits like it’s the most casual thing in the world.
“jack!” you scolded, scoffing at his crudeness. “i was picking up some snacks for the guys before their game today. i couldn’t even get to my phone if i wanted to,” you roll your eyes, even though he can’t see you.
“you make it sound like you were ignoring me on purpose,” he says, basically being able to hear the pout on his face.
“i wasn’t not ignoring you on purpose.”
he smacks his teeth at your answer, returning to his original question. “anyways, will they do a pedicure on my gnarly man feet or no?”
you don’t even try to hide the laugh that escapes you, opening your door and finally sitting down in your car. “yes jack, they’ll give you a pedicure. are you actually going to go get one?”
“yes! dude, have you seen my feet lately? they’re disgusting. plus, quinn was telling luke and i about that time you made him do one with you and how much better his feet felt in his skates afterwards.”
you think about the fact that quinn now has monthly pedicure appointments with you, not shocked at all that he shared the information with his younger brothers.
“jack! is that y/n? i need to talk to her!” you hear luke yell in the background of jack’s call, stopping whatever response you were about to give.
you hear shuffling, insinuating the exchange of the phone. “hey! y/n! so, i need your advice.”
“hi, luke, i’m good, thanks for asking! how are you?” your voice drips with sarcasm.
“yeah, hi and whatever,” he dismisses you. “so, if you were a girl, would you rather your date wear a pink shirt to show he’s not a toxic guy, or would you rather him wear blue or black to show he’s serious about the date?”
once again, you pause. you look over to the side, as if there’s an invisible camera there and mouth a ‘what?’
“okay, well first of all i am a girl-“
“well yeah, but like…a real girl. one that isn’t dating quinn and would be ready to hop on the luke train,” he interrupts you, earning his own roll of your eyes.
“as i was saying,” you ignore his interruption, “i am a girl, and i don’t think it’s that serious? wear whatever you wanna wear. if she likes you, she likes you. if she doesn’t, she doesn’t. i don’t think wearing pink is going to either hurt or help the date.”
the line is silent for a moment. “i think i’m going to wear pink anyways. you know, just to let her know i’m not a douche,” he finally speaks.
“okay, well, if that’s what you want to do, then do it-“
“thanks, y/n! bye!” you’re cut off yet again, hearing the line go dead. groaning, you call quinn, letting him know you’re on your way with the food.
“hey, baby! you get the catering order yet?” quinn’s excited voice fills your car as you turn it on and put it in drive.
“yeah, i got it. on my way now. just got off the phone with your idiot brothers,” you tell him, pulling out into traffic.
“oh god, what did they want this time?” he asks you, knowing how often you’re plagued with calls from his siblings.
“well, jack wanted to know if he could book a pedicure appointment even though he’s a man, and then luke wanted to know if he should wear pink on his date so he doesn’t look like a douche,” you give the short version of your conversations.
quinn lets out a laugh, not at all surprised at his brothers.
“quinn, we’ve gotta set some ground rules. i can’t keep doing this. i don’t know how you dealt with this by yourself for all these years. and god, your sweet mother. i feel for her,” you say not entirely seriously, knowing they call ellen more than they call you, if that’s even possible.
“baby, they love you. you’re the big sister they never had, they’re just excited to finally have someone to ask this stuff to other than mom. because mom usually tells them to figure it out on their own,” he chuckles, knowing how much both luke and jack have told him they loved having you around.
“well, i’m about to take the ellen approach because they make me want to pull my hair out sometimes, those disgustingly lovable heathens,” you tell your boyfriend, never really being able to say anything bad about the brothers. they’re like excited puppies anytime they get to see you in person, and it does melt your heart a little bit each time.
“i’ll talk to them about it,” quinn’s still laughing at how you can’t help but talk about how much you love his brothers, even when you’re aggravated at them. “just focus on getting here. i miss you, wanna see you before game time.”
“okay, be there in like-“ you stop talking when your ringtone blares through your car.
“god, its jack again. i gotta go, i’ll see you in a few minutes,” you groan, ending the call to answer the interruption.
“what is it this time, jack?”
#alliyaps#idk how i feel about this#but i hope it’s what you were thinking of#hockey#nhl#quinn hughes#jack hughes#luke hughes#quinn hughes fluff#quinn hughes fic#quinn hughes fanfiction#quinn hughes one shot#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes blurb#quinn hughes imagine#qh43#hughes brothers
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