#lets all thank dazai to remedy that

[gemsouffle]

Kunikida "straightest man in bsd" Doppo becomes Kunikida "Dazai let me pound you into the mattress to shut you the fuck up" Doppo as soon as Dazai enters the chat.

[mazarinesroses]

A Remedy To My Sour and Bitterness

summary: Parsley remedy was perfect to get rid of those sour and bitter tastes, in fact, Dazai had always loved your parsley remedies. But you weren't able to make the remedy in the times he needed it the most.

pairings: Dazai Osamu x Reader

word count: 562

“How bitter!” The young man stated as his significant other could only laugh sweetly at his reaction. “[name]! Don’t laugh at me like that,” Dazai said with a look of disbelief, considering the fact that the young woman could only laugh at his unfortunate misery, amusement laced on her tone.

“Alright, alright, let me make you a remedy,” [name] said, smiling with endearment as she went to the kitchen to make a remedy made of parsley. Dazai’s gaze trailed her lingering figure before it disappeared into the other room before getting a glass of water to quell down the bitter aftertaste.

The young woman came back with a glass of parsley remedy and handed it over to the beautiful man with brown locks that framed his ethereal face perfectly. [name] couldn’t help but be lost in his bewitching features, as if Dazai’s appearance was a spell bound to make the young woman entranced.

Of course, Dazai catched his lover in a daze and chuckled, “I’m too beautiful, aren’t I, dear?” he said, voice low and hush as he shortens the distance between [name] and him, close enough for their noses to touch, an amusing smirk appeared as Dazai sees her snap out with wide eyes, cheeks flushed red along the tips of her ears.

“Well, you are, b-but!” Stumbling with her words, Dazai laughs as he closes the distances between [name]’s and his lips, one of his arms wrapped around his waist while his other holds the back of her neck. [name] smiled and replied with the same gesture, melting in the kiss.

Pulling back for breath, the two laughed with sincerity as the man gently tickled her as she tried to swat his hands away. The home is filled with endearing and warm laughter.

*

“How bitter…” Dazai said, but his words do not hold the warm tone he spoke of before. Eyes dead, the glimmers of life had been blown out as his brown locks were soaked in the somber rain, his head hung low.

There you were, in his arms. The horrific twist was that your heart no longer beats, your warmth long gone and chest unmoving. Dead. You were dead, what was more mortifying was that you had died in the arms of your lover. The very person you promised to live together, take your last breath together.

Promises were bound to be broken after all.

Agony, anger, regret, remorse. Multiple emotions swelled in Dazai’s chest, his breath ragged as he wished, praying to whoever it was that this was all a nightmare, a sick nightmare, one that would plagiarize his dreams every time his eyes closed.

Yet this was fate, one that cannot be rewritten. Why does those who he loves dearly, the ones who he wishes not to lose, were always the people who end up losing their lives because of him.

Because of him.

Ill-fated, he was, only misfortune was awaiting his end. Perhaps this was his karma, for all the lives that he had taken by his bare hands, all of the sins he had committed. Perhaps cursed for all he did, Dazai Osamu was bound to end unhappily.

“I would really like parsley right now…” Inhaling deeply, his breath shaky as tears brimmed in his eyes, threatening to fall. He was like a dam close to bursting. “A remedy to my sour and bitterness…”

First work to be uploaded on this blog! I know it's short but the future stories will be longer than this one, thank you for reading!

[simpforchuchu]

Hi.i love your work and i would like to request, an scenario/headcanon for dazai and levi having their female lover, suffering for apsoriasis, apsoriasis Is a illiness Who male the One Who suffer from It have White Scrubs on some part of their body so the more stressed they are the more the Scrubs are big,and so for this She's getting bullies and cutting herself or trying to slit her,well this had happened to me,of cours i didn't slit my wrist but i tried to hurt my self,this would mean a lot but feel free to decline the request cause i know this Is a really sensible topic,bye have a nice day,or night or evening or afternoon love from Italy 🇮🇹💜💜💜💜💜💜

Levi / Dazai x s/o with Proriasis

A/n: Really sorry for the delay, having bad times and trying my best.Hope you like it and love youu mwaah 😚🥰 Loves from Turkeey

Sorry for the grammer or spelling mistakes.English is not my main language so...

Thank you and love you 🥰

Warnings: none

Levi

• You know there's no cure for most things on this island

• Or nothing good

• You are a successful soldier in the exterior scouting

• You're on the Levi squad and you have a good relationship with him

• Levi... you always know how gentle he is with women

• He cares more when it comes to the woman he loves

• He knows about your scrubs and illness and brings you all the remedies he can find to put you at ease

• you are grateful to him

• But some things are starting to push you

• Some of the soldiers started mocking you when they saw the marks on your arms and this bullying started to push you after a while

• When you finally started peeling and scratching the wounds on your body until they bled, you knew the consequences would be bad, but you couldn't stop

• When Levi walked into your room, he went crazy when he saw your clothes and blood

• He ran to you and stopped you

• When you were done crying and calmed down, you told him and he walked out of your room in anger

•  You didn't know what happened that night but no one ever told you anything again

Dazai

• He's the one who makes fun of everything

• Can make fun of anything

• But never with you

• He quickly realized what had happened when he saw the wounds on your neck one day while you were sleeping together

• He didn't say anything to you about it

• He knew it was hard and it itched, sometimes it hurt

•  asked Yosano for the treatment and wanted to bring some medicine

• But he didn't know how hard you were trying

• One day, when he came home with creams, he couldn't hear a sound and rushed to your room.

•  The bathroom door was locked

• He quickly broke the door and froze when he saw the razor in your hand.

• you haven't done anything yet

•  "Babe, please let go of your hand. Let's talk"

•  When you started crying and shouted and told him everything, he listened without speaking and approached the tub.

• He took the razor from your hand and pulled you into a tight hug

• He talked to you all night and swore he'd kill anyone who hurt you

[n1kolaiz]

"You want to know what death is? I'll tell you. Death is the loss of life. Despite everything doctors like me attempt... a patient's life can still fall through our fingers. You think death lies in the apex of science? Anyone with such little regard for life will die by my hand."

Character Analysis: Yosano Akiko

Age: 25 || Ability: Thou Shalt Not Die

BSD CHAPTER CHAPTER 65-66 SPOILERS

table of contents:

1. Author counterpart.

2. Yosano's history.

3. 'Angel of Death' defined.

4. Yosano and Atsushi.

YOSANO BRAINROT!*(#&!*@#($

1. Author counterpart.

Having been given the “Sho Ho” at birth, Yosano Akiko’s counterpart—the real-life author—was known for her zealous take on both feminism and pacifism.

Side note: Once again, to avoid confusion, I will use the name Sho Ho in reference to the real-life author, and Yosano in reference to the BSD character.

Sho Ho's writings were pretty much out-of-the-ordinary in her time, and despite being suppressed by the social norms of gender hierarchy, she sought to reform society’s view on the cultural perspectives of women and their sexuality (She expressed her love for a woman in one of her poems, but many still argued on whether she identified herself as queer or not.)

"Thou Shalt Not Die," Yosano's ability, is actually named after one of Sho Ho's most famous, controversial poems. She wrote it for her brother, who was a soldier in the war between Russia and Japan (1904-1905). In her poem, she expressed her general distaste for war and how her brother was a part of it.

O my young brother, I cry for you Don't you understand you must not die! You who were born the last of all Command a special store of parents' love

Would parents place a blade in children's hands

Teaching them to murder other men Teaching them to kill and then to die? Have you so learned and grown to twenty-four?

- excerpt from Sho Ho's poem, "Kimi Shinitamou Koto Nakare"

Her words were blunt enough to inflict guilt on her brother's conscience, as she wasn't afraid to express her disapproval over how her brother took part in the typical violent bloodshed and manslaughter of war. Such opinions perturbed the authorities, and her work was eventually banned from the public for a period of time. Later on, it was used as an anti-war statement.

2. Yosano's history.

Now, as for the character in BSD, Yosano is seen to be generally strong-willed, and later on, we see that she is terrifyingly compassionately ambitious in the way she treats her patients. She treasured life itself, and hated the thought of losing a patient.

Yosano had developed her relations with Mori Ougai back in the Great War, when she was just 11 years old. Her ability was a great benefactor in saving lives. Realistically speaking, she was used for her ability to heal injured soldiers and diminish the effect of any casualty acquired.

Initially, she wasn't aware of this, until one of her close friends pointed it out by subtly accusing Mori of manipulating her to participate in the War under the close-to false pretence of 'saving lives.'

As much as her ability did save lives, it also forced soldiers to return to the frontlines and suffer injuries over and over again. The soldiers were never given the opportunity to return to their families because of her ability. This obliged them to carry on in the war without any excuse, inserting them into a vicious cycle they had no escape out of.

Metaphorically speaking, Yosano's hatred for Mori sort of mirrors Sho Ho's disdain for war and fighting, don't you think? The way Kafka materialised Yosano's past was quite interesting because he used chapters 65 and 66 to explain Yosano's dislike for Mori, reflecting how Sho Ho used her poem to explain why she condemned the idea of war and how her brother was part of it.

Before the effect of her ability was fully understood, however, every soldier praised and thanked her for what an angel she was. One of the soldiers she had befriended and gotten close to even kept a tally of the number of times she had saved him. He was the one who gifted her the butterfly hairpin she wore all the time.

The weight of the truth that her ability was a curse rather than a blessing fully dawned on her when her soldier friend ultimately committed suicide, because the fact of being indefinitely trapped in the throes of war agonised him until his spirit gave out. This drove Yosano to loathe her ability, or rather, how it was used.

In the time she participated in the War, Yosano was given the alias 'angel of death' due to the control she retained over the battlefield, but I thought that perhaps Kafka had a reason behind giving her this title, so I did my research.

3. 'Angel of Death' defined.

Side note: I wouldn't want to disrespect any culture or religion, so if my citations are inaccurate and/or disrespectful, do feel free to correct me/let me know! I did research out of pure curiosity, and I don't intend to twist the significance of any of the interpretations.

I had to grow up learning about the basics of religious stuff, so it's kind of nice to study something out of the box, and very much against my father's rigid belief system :D

ARCHANGEL ARIEL

(archangel: an angel of higher rank)

I came across the few characteristics of angels/goddesses and their roles, and the one which really caught my attention was the female archangel, Ariel, the angel of nature.

[ source ]

In Hebrew, the name Ariel means 'altar' or 'lioness of God,' and her role is to heal. In addition to that, she is also recognised as a helper to another one of the seven main archangels, Raphael, whose role is to provide physical and emotional healing, too.

She is the protecter of the environment and the animals therein, and is bestowed with the duty to oversee the order of heavenly bodies as well as earth's natural resources. She assures the sustenance of food, water, shelter, and supplies of human beings, much like how a nurse is to a patient I suppose.

In relation to Yosano, I think this part is pretty self-explanatory, or perhaps this is blown out of proportion HA, so take this as a suggestion rather than a fact, because I'd like to believe that Kafka had a reason for giving Yosano a title as such.

In the past, I've come across the angel of death only to perceive it as a female grim reaper of some sort, so it was pretty cool to find that the word 'angel' and 'death' made up a title of a someone like Ariel, one of the purest forms of humility and compassion.

GREEK GODDESS PANAKEIA

For my beloved (wannabe/or not) students of Greek mythology (much like myself, let's make a cult!), you've probably heard of Panakeia, the goddess of healing. Medicine finds most of its vital significance in Greek history, and in its mythology, Panakeia is actually known for her ability to heal any kind of sickness.

[ source ]

Her name means 'panacea,' which is actually defined as a remedy for all diseases. Terminal diseases and injuries lead to death, right? This would bring us back to Yosano's ability to nullify any injury's effects on a person, keeping them from death itself.

Now, we know that in order for Yosano's ability to work, her patient, or victim, has to be in a near-death condition in order for her treatment to take effect. This can't exactly fit into the description of resurrection, but it can be described as some sort of rebirth.

GREEK GODDESS PERSEPHONE

So another goddess which reminds me of Sho Ho/Yosano, is Persephone, the goddess of spring and rebirth. Before Hades, the god of the underworld, fell in love with Persephone to take her to live with him, Persephone lived a happy life.

Hades, with his nature of darkness and the like, was captivated by how pure Persephone was, and stole her away from her former life to live in an environment which differed sharply from her natural aura of purity.

[ source ]

Remember when Yosano's friend left a note behind before he killed himself? The note said nothing except for, "You are too righteous." Take that as you will, but figuratively speaking, you could say Mori takes the role of Hades in the story, while Yosano can be portrayed as Persephone.

Sho Ho can also be a parallel of Persephone, in that she had to adapt to the realities of war and disharmony, while Persephone had to adapt to the raw darkness of the underworld with Hades.

Sho Ho stood against society's norms and decided to reform it, making her one of the most well-known feministic pacifist in history, while Persephone managed to escape from the underworld to return to her former position, earning the title the 'Bringer of Life,' or the 'Destroyer of Death.'

Furthermore, the way Sho Ho's anti-war poem took its effect later on, reflects the way Persephone restored balance in the world after returning from the underworld.

4. Yosano and Atsushi.

chapter 66; Yosano: "It's my fault that those close to me died... Is there some place where it's okay for me to live?"

chapter 8; Atsushi: "If I have any chance of saving them all, of returning them home safely, would that mean it's okay for me to keep on living?"

I couldn't help but think of Dazai and Atsushi back when I was reading through these panels. Ranpo (my beloved), along with Fukuzawa, accepted Yosano as she was, despite how her ability was a cause of despair and misfortune.

Ranpo looked past her mistakes and the entirety of how dark her past was to welcome her into the Armed Detective Agency. Dazai, on the other hand, knew who Atsushi was and what his ability had made him do before anyone else, and still decided to provide a safe place for Atsushi to find his sense of belonging, journeying with him as he learned to use his ability properly.

For more info about Dazai and Atsushi's dynamic, you can check out the analysis I did for Dazai :D

Atsushi desired to save people to prove his right to live, while Yosano made her wish to achieve the recovery of all her patients the reason for her existence.

Others would prefer to accuse both Yosano and Atsushi of having a saviour complex, but the reason why they pursued to save people with utmost dedication, stems from the nature of what their past was like. You know the saying 'from broken to beautiful?' Yeah, it's something like that.

The way their pasts were written out gave them a desire to change, which was, I daresay, initiated by the people who took them in: Ranpo and Dazai. Their abilities were demonised because of how they were used, but once they broke from their abilities' effect over their lives, they honed their skills to control them for the right cause instead.

In a less cynical point of view, I believe both Yosano and Atsushi stood for what was right, and wanted nothing but to achieve peace and harmony in whatever way they could, even if it meant risking their own lives to save others.

So yeah, that's it for my rants today. Thank you for reading, and if you have anything to add, go ahead! I'm open to discussions ;)

[smoochi-dazai]

Hi! Nice to meet you! Can I request Osamu Dazai with 14 & 27 of the bitter prompts? Thank you in advance ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

✿ “ A foolish wish ” ✿

—> Bungo Stray Dogs, Osamu Dazai | Reader

—> Bitter | prompts 

—> Description | Dazai warned her countless times to leave him, and just as things began to feel lighter. When he could finally smile, he felt a weight in his heart and on his lap.

✿ 14 | “ Don’t hide your emotions from me. “

✿ 27 | “ Don’t do this to yourself “

“ Don’t hide your emotions from me. ”

Dazai couldn’t comprehend the audacity in trying to connect with him, he was a monster while you were an angel. Staring at you, the halo above your head he once adored seems to grow obnoxious. Even if you’d insist on all those darkened memories being of the past, he couldn’t help but dwell on them in the present.

“ Don’t do this to yourself. ”

You pushed, and pushed. But none of your words seem to reach him, that familiar dull glaze coated Dazais chocolaty brown iris’s. He wasn’t often driven to be like this, but during an argument he couldn’t help but grow bored of both you and the argument entirely.

He cared for you deeply, both parties knew of this fact.

Dazai has been with you through thick and thin, so arguments like this weren’t common until recently. You were unaware of what fueled this sudden self hatred after he finally got over himself, but you wouldn’t allow this to get in your way.

“ Why are you always like this, Dazai? ” You inquire behind a broken tone.

Dazai remained silent, his gaze meeting the floor beneath him. He couldn’t bare the sight of you right now, your beautiful face didn’t deserve those tears. The tears cascading down your cheeks to your chin, the same tears that he caused, this was his fault.

One thing that didn’t go by him easily, was the fact you called him by his surname. Normally you’d call him by ‘Osa�� but you didn’t this time, it hurt more then you could imagine. Even finding himself flinch at first when your words process in his mind.

The voice in Dazai’s head has been singing a sickly sweet lullaby of pain, he felt trapped in his own head.

If your eyes met, he would surely break down after years of bottling up his emotions. The facades he held were becoming a bore, growing sick of himself by the day.

He has called you his sweet Belladonna since day one, a deadly nightshade by definition. Yet you were genuinely his remedy, the very thing that saved him from the toxic pit of his mind.

“ Look, I’m sorry for being inconsiderate. I’ll leave you alone for the night, I hope I can see you tomorrow... ” You mutter weakly, unable to find the strength to continue the one sided argument.

It felt insulting whenever Dazai gave you the silent treatment, but at the same time you understood. Giving him space would be the best for him tonight, you pray everything will be okay the next day. Using the little energy left in you, you reach the ghost of a smile.

“ I love you, Osa. ” I really do — you thought to yourself. The smile becoming more genuine as you grabbed your coat and walked out of the house. Deciding to just leave it at that.

Lifting his chin momentarily, Dazai’s bangs no longer shadow over his pained eyes. Unable to speak for himself, the man finds himself lock the door after you left. Turning around, he lost the ability to walk another step forward. Leaning his back against the door, Dazai allows himself to slide down until his bottom reached floor.

Pulling his legs to his chest, Dazai let a shaky sigh escape his lips. Forcing himself to hold back any possible tears from escaping his eyes, Dazai tightens his grasp on his legs. Who knows, if you didn’t walk out, if he didn’t fuck up— maybe you could’ve been the one in his arms.

“ What do you mean she never came to work? ”

Dazai couldn’t believe what Tanizaki and his sister voiced outload to him, you not showing up to work without a good reason was rare. Could the argument really have hurt you that badly? Feeling guilt swell in his heart, Dazai hides the pain with a small smile. Deciding to just thank the siblings, he takes a break to sit back and wait for your arrival.

As expected, Kunikida was the first to really start nagging Dazai for sitting on his ass the whole day. It’s not like he’d understand what he’s going through, so Dazai just brushed him off with excuses as to why he’s lazing around.

“ You’ve really got a talent for wasting my time—“ Kunikida muttered, adjusting his glasses before checking his watch and storming off.

Dazai remained on the small couch in their office, face in the cushions to mask himself from others. His butt was stuck up in the air, gaining no attention from the others since this was a regular thing on Dazais behalf.

Hearing a small creek at the door, Dazai perked up— sitting up straight on the couch to see who entered the office so late.

To his dismay it was only Atsushi, groaning to himself Dazai fell back on the couch. Grabbing a cushion, he held it against his face. The amount of force from the cushion against his face was suffocating, but at this point he didn’t care. Images of last night replaying in his head.

“ I love you, Osa. ”

He wished he could’ve just reached out for your hand, he wished he could’ve returned those words. He wished... to see your smile again. But none of those seem to come true in the moment.

“ Any luck? ”

“ She isn’t picking up her phone. ”

Dazai could hear muffled voices conversate in the room, lifting up his pillow a bit to ease drop even just a little bit.

“ Should one of us check on her? ”

One the the voices question the other, giving them an idea.

“ Hey Dazai- how about you make yourself useful and figure out where (y/n) is. ”

Even if Kunikida meant it as a request, it was more of an order to anybody else. Sluggishly siting up, Dazai slipped off the couch onto his feet.

“ Aye aye, Captain. ” Dazai muttered sarcastically beneath his breath, exiting the office.

It was way past your average time of showing up to work, so honestly everyone in the agency couldn’t help but be concerned. Not being in the best state of mind, Dazai could only pray you’ve forgiven him for last night. Even if you were the one to apologize, he was the one who went out of line. Dazai knew that, but was too weak to admit it to your face. He couldn’t help it, you’ve made him so vulnerable.

After a short walk to your home, Dazai found himself grow more anxious as his fingertips met with the doorknob of your homes entrance. Was it really okay to just barge in on you like this?

Twisting the doorknob to enter — it was clearly locked. Moving a hand, he began reaching into his pocket. Quickly, he fumbles around with the keys. You gave him the spare key in case of emergency so this is the first time he’s really needed it. Pushing it in the key hole, he twisted the key and pushed the door forwards.

It was eerily silent, stepping in he observed his surroundings. Your coat was nowhere in sight, did you not come home after your dispute? Slipping off his dress shoes. Dazai steps into your home, shutting the door behind him, he felt an odd suspense fume in his heart.

“ Belladonna? It’s just Dazai, I came to check on you. ”

Dazai continues the search around your home, but to no avail as he ends up finding no signs of your arrival. You were never here to begin with.

Disregarding your home for clues, Dazai puts his shoes back on. Deciding to retrace your assumptive steps. You were heading home from his place which wasn’t too far from here, so it shouldn’t be hard to find your whereabouts unless you are roomed with a friend.

Countless minutes of wondering the streets, Dazai found himself led to an alleyway- it was a shortcut you used to take in order to get from point A to B in Yokohama. There was a bridge you’d always visit for the the view over it’s waters in the early morning to late at night. He had to admit it was a beautiful view, but it still couldn’t compare to your features that he adored.

As Dazai approached the alleyway, the putrid stench of blood met his nostrils. Praying to god he wouldn’t find someone he cares for in there, the gods didn’t seem too fond of him today.

Speeding up his pace, it didn’t take long from him to nearly trip over his feet while coming to a full stop. Lifting a hand to his face, Dazai attempted to pinch himself. Trying to believe this was some kind of dream-

“ Nothing in this world can fill that lonely hole you have, you will wander the darkness for eternity. ”

Memories of the past suddenly blaze in his mind, tears begin to sting as they brim in his eyes. Dazai sprints forwards in the ally—Collapsing to his knees, he picks up your bloodied form.

“Odasaku...”

“ (Y/N)... ”

After finally meeting the one who he could call his love, he never wished for something to happen to you this drastically. That night where his closest friend passed away in his arms, he thought he’d never move on. His spitting image lays within you now, reminding him of that painful experience of the past. Both your smiles, the kindness and acceptance. He loved you both, he thought that maybe with you- he could finally prove the world wrong. That he could fill that empty space in his heart with someone other then himself.

He was wrong.

Tears escaping his eyes, a pitiful croak escapes his throat. Lifting your hand to his cheek, calling out to you for any sign of life. Everything he did never seemed to reach you, if that how you self when he gave you nothing much silence last night? Your eyes were shut, tear stains remain coldly on your cheeks. As he let go of your hand, it lifelessly fell to his lap. Dazai couldn’t believe it.

A weak laugh escapes his lips as he tries to stray away from his tears, cupping your face— he brushes some of the blood off your cheek. Your delicate skin that normally would glistening in the sunlight was now paler then before. Deep gashes adorn all across your body, while bruises create a sick necklace around your neck as if someone was strangling you.

Dazais grasp on you was shaky and rough, refusing to accept that you were gone just like that. The roughness became weaker and weaker as he pulled you against his chest, nuzzling his nose in your hair.

All the deepest regrets fill his soul to the brim,

“ I’m sorry I never said I love you that night...” Dazai began in a sob, losing his composer completely.

“ Look, I’m sorry for being inconsiderate. I’ll leave you alone for the night, I hope I can see you tomorrow... ”

“ Why did you apologize back then? When it was all my fault to begin with?! ” Dazai rarely raises his voice, but at this point every other sound was drowned out other then his desperate calls. He held so much pent up anger, all directed to himself. His ears began to ring as everything grew darker, tasting his own salty tears on his lips.

“ If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have left... if it wasn’t for me you’d be in my arms safe and sound at home. If it wasn’t for me, you would’ve seen another day. ”

Dazai loved your smiles, the angelic laughter which sent him to cloud nine. But now he wouldn’t hear it, all he heard was an inevitable silence.

Pulling you closer to him, the croaks turn into muffled whimpers. His grasp was unbelievably weak, knowing that he’d never get the chance to hear you say ‘I love you’, one last time.

“ I love you too, Belladonna... ”

[sweet-cynical-writer]

Hewwo~ Can I request a fluffy scenario or hcs were reader is having trouble at work because their different and they just feel like they don’t belong and Dazai tries to cheer them up..I’m just a bit down and need some dazai Love 💕 thank you so much 🙏🏻 -daffodildazaiwrites

Sil!!! I'm so sorry your feeling all sad;; ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡

I hope this little fluff scenario drabble brings a smile to your cute face! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Fluff Prompt: "Reader is frustrated with work and is in a horrible mood. It's their first day and they don't quite fit in so they feel uncomfortable. But their co-worker, Dazai has a remedy for that!"

Cheer up, Buttercup~

First day on the job was typically supposed to be the most nerve wrecking but also exciting. Well you only felt the nerve wrecking part and on top of that, you didn't know anyone in the agency. You picked up the job off a flyer and they hired you on the spot.

The day started out the worst way possible by you coming in with your blouse on backwards. You didn't sleep too well from the anixety of messing up on your first job. When you tried to redeem yourself by making everyone tea, you tripped over your own feet causing you to spill hot tea everywhere including yourself.

You were shaking and the tears begging to come out but you held back. Be a strong person you told yourself. The day was a little bumpy but surely something will go right. You got up to clean the mess and change shirts then made it to your desk.

Eyes scanning over the computer you did your best to sort files. Then each of your coworkers came by to either stack more piles of papers or ask you about something you had little knowledge of. The pressure was weighing on you and your optimism was running low.

Looking around, they were all so amazing. Gifted with wonderful abilities while you.. had nothing but intellect with technology. You began to wonder why you were even hired. Was it just sheer luck?

"Psst. Atsushi-kun."

You heard whispers but ignored it. It felt like they were now going to talk about you. This was it. You were going to get fired the first day.

"You got it, Dazai-san. Good luck."

You wondered what they whispered to each other but brushed it off. It was probably something ugly anyway. You went to the bathroom for a short break to return to having a vase of daffodils on your desk. The yellow vibrant as the warm sun on a breezy day.

Puzzled you plucked a note off the flower stem that read:

"Things may look bleak now, but that doesn't mean you can't have new beginnings."

It made you smile and you wanted to know who left you such a sweet encouragement note. Was it the director? Either way you gained some courage to keep trying.

Throughout the day, each time you left your desk to deliver reports or run errands, you returned to a new gift. They left you sweet chocolates with a note saying:

"Everyone deserves a little something sweet in their lives. You came into my life and made it a little sweeter."

This was too much you thought. Your face flushed pink and you covered your face. Whoever this was, really supported you. And you didn't want to let them down. So you pushed on through the day until it was over.

"Good work today everyone."

The director said to everyone as they took their leave. Determined to do more with your first day, you stayed behind to work on one last report. A paper airplane lightly hit your shoulder and you winced from surprise.

"A .. paper airplane?"

Open me! It said and you unfolded it into a piece of paper. The handwriting was beautifully written and looked like the writer carefully used the ink in perfect strokes.

"I want you to know that I admire your gentle spirit. The way you smile is far more radiant than the sun itself. I hope you continue working with us at the agency. And maybe we could have some tea together sometime?"

-The Most Handsome & Charismatic Detective

[juminly]

Hi hi dear! Hope you are doing well☺❤🌻 After i saw your matchup i couldn't resist asking for one! ☺🌻❤ can i pretty please request an Ikevamp match up ☺ i am super curious to see which vampy boi u think would suit me best hehe 🌻thank a million! Sending ya lots o hugs🌻☺ hope ya keeping safe and warm❤

The Art of  Love & War

Context: Finding yourself in an unknown place AND back in time wasn’t an easy experience for you. It was only natural for you to be overtaken by a strong sense of unease because of the unfamiliarity of your surroundings. A mansion full of so-called vampires, a bunch of historical figures that you’ve read so much about but were now all before you, in the flesh. It was a lot to take in and no one could blame you for keeping to yourself and isolating yourself from others (unless you were coaxed by the gentle Comte  [kinda forced by Sebastian] otherwise). 

Fitness has always been something that you indulged in and engaging in physical activity allowed you to focus solely on what your body is doing, pushing away where your thoughts would usually wander (sometimes unnecessarily in very dark paths, considering your situation). 

It was not safe for a woman to go about in the city all alone, let alone, jogging and running which is something unspoken of during those times. Sebastian knew what you were doing and could only think of one way to remedy this situation without causing any inconvenience to your routine.

One day, you woke up at the crack of dawn to find Napoleon leaning on the grand door of your mansion, blocking your exit.

“Bonjour petite nunuche, Sebastian and Le Comte have taken it upon themselves to bestow on me quite an interesting chore. They believe I’m spending way too much time sleeping. I hope you’re worth the sleep I’m wasting on you.”

He had no intention of sounding harsh but his teasing was meant to get a reaction out of you. And they certainly did. Those words were enough to earn him some snarky remarks from you and it earned you a most glorious smile on Napoleon’s face. He knew that there was much more to find under that shy exterior of yours. 

Sebastian couldn’t think of anyone else who would be able to keep up with you but Napoleon. Jean was also a candidate but considering his state of mind, it would take some time before he even agrees to be anywhere near you. 

Your relationship started with the morning jogs that he joined you on. He was unfamiliar with the notion of women engaging in strenuous physical activity and he was definitely impressed and curious to know more about your time. 

He was the yin to your yang, his personality not necessarily opposing yours, but complimenting it, filling in the gaps that closed the distance between you. His extroverted and easy-going nature was more than enough to get you to loosen up around him, almost too easily.  

Napoleon is an extremely charming man and was eloquent, adept enough to make you feel at ease around him. You spent your mornings talking about your time, how your life was like, how invested you are in your studies, how you enjoyed working out and allocated enough time to do the things that you loved. 

You never seemed to notice it but his eyes would shine with admiration the more he got you to talk about yourself. Your ambitions in life, your intelligence and your wit unconsciously made him grow very fond of you.

Even though he led a life full of bloodshed, fear and treachery, he saw in you the peace and the beauty of simplicity that he ached for. He felt that maybe, if he were able to be your friend only for a short period of time, he might be able to live a life that he would be satisfied with (one where he wouldn’t have to escape through long hours of sleep).

He found your sense of humour endearing and he was one of the few to laugh at your jokes (along with Arthur, Dazai, Leonardo and even Theodorus sometimes). You certainly brought more life to the mansion, especially when you would sometimes butt heads with Theo, who would take your sarcastic demeanor as a challenge. (that man is just to easy to rile up)

Having evaluated your physical capabilities, Napoleon deemed it fit to teach you fencing and invited you to join him and Jean during their sparring session. It was challenging, fun and extremely exciting and the adrenaline rushing through your blood was like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. You found a new passion and the smile drawn on your face was one of pure contentment (and Napoleon found it absolutely ravishing).

The blood would rush to your face, sweat dripping from your forehead and your cheeks turned tomato red when the other two men would chuckle and seem like they didn’t even lift a finger. Napoleon often teased you about it and would say “Nunuche, your cheeks look red enough to bite.” (and he secretly did want to kiss them and nibble on them)

Leon couldn’t help but notice the type of food that you ate and he was practically appalled. The man was on a mission to feed you and stuff you, especially after your intense training together. And when he discovered how much of a good cook you were, he was awfully confused. “How is it that a woman of your talent for food cannot feed herself properly? What a nunuche you are.”

If you weren’t spending time together in the training room, you were both most probably in the kitchen, making a mess that Sebastian was going to have a hard time cleaning up on his own. The residents were more than happy that you and Leon spent so much time bonding in the kitchen and cooking together (they got lots of yummy food without even asking for any).

Whenever Leon wasn’t around, Jean was your sparring partner. He was your silent friend and you definitely enjoyed his presence. Even as the man was burdened with such somberness, he was a soothing presence and he appreciated your company as well.

For some reason, Leon feels his chest tighten whenever he sees how close you’ve gotten to his dear friend, Jean. He knows that there is nothing between the two of you but he can’t help but feel a bit jealous. That was when he realized he began developing romantic feelings for you.

He ended up sparring with Jean and the winner would get a kiss from you. In the middle of the fight, he realized that he was on edge and maybe a bit too aggressive. In that moment of hesitation, Jean was able to win (and whispered something in your ear while he left the training room).

Leon was completely unfazed until you meekly walked closer to him, earning you a sly comment “What’s wrong? Has the thought of kissing Jean scared you, nunuche?”. You completely wiped off the smirk off his face when you kissed his cheek and walked away, saying. “Winner decides what to do with their prize. Jean was feeling generous today.”

When Leon noticed that you were cooped up in the mansion for too long without exploring Paris, he took it upon himself to show you around: tasting local delicacies, visiting local monuments and recounting tales of the past.

During your outing, you discovered his side-job which was teaching the less-fortunate children and orphans in Paris. It was a bit hard for you to hold your tears back when you saw their eyes shining with excitement and fascination as Napoleon and Isaac took the time to teach them about the world and give them the knowledge that they needed to survive.

The children loved having you around, looking up to you as their “older sister”, confiding in you and looking for comfort whenever they needed it. They would sometimes come to you for hugs and even take short naps in your arms because they felt very comfortable being near you.

You treated them as equals and not as children (you didn’t necessarily have to be good at dealing with children to be able to support them), just like Napoleon and Isaac did, which made them very fond of you and also the assistant teacher! (Leon would demonstrate how to spar with you and showing the children, both the boys and the girls, how to defend themselves) 

Napoleon would often watch you, without you noticing (but Isaac did notice it and even Jean): whenever you teased and spoke to Arthur, the gentle way you dealt with the children. Appreciation for beauty and he saw you as a flower in full bloom that was hiding in the shadows. He wanted to see you under the bright light of day and marvel at how special you are.

During one of your lessons with the children, it was pouring cats and dogs and there was absolutely no way you would make it to the mansion without getting soaked and sick. Renting the only double room available in a nearby hotel, you decided to spend the night there until the rain subsided.

Your body was shivering almost violently from the cold as Leon tended to the fireplace. He gave you his back while you stripped out of your damp clothes, as he ordered you to (while he also did the same [only removing his top though]). He gathered the cover of his bed and turned around with his eyes closed, wrapping it around you to cover your body and pulled you against his body. He held you tightly in his arms, and hummed in approval  “Les petits ont raison. Your embrace is quite delightful.” (that was more than enough to make you turn beet red)

The next day, the sun was up and illuminating your room, announcing that it was time for you to head back home. Unknowing of Leon’s bad habit, you sat on the edge of his bed and nudged his shoulder to wake him up, only to have him grip your shoulders and pull you down for an unexpected kiss.

Zeta: *squeals and turns red* What was that? Leon: Hm? That was a kiss. Zeta: I know what a kiss is, Leon! What was that for?

Leon: It’s a sign of love and affection, ma belle.

Zeta: ... what exactly are you trying to say?

Leon: Exactly what you think I am.

He sits up and pulls you in for another kiss, a bit longer and a lot sweeter. He cradled your face so gently and kissed you with a tenderness that brought tears to your eyes. “Allons-y, mon amour. I’ll make sure you have the thermae all to yourself today.”

Leon was never the type to be clingy but he has a strong protective streak, without being overbearing either. He doesn’t have to be with you 24/7 but he likes to be informed of your whereabouts, to make sure that you are safe and sound.

Considering his past, you couldn’t really blame him for being the way that he is and whenever he tried to apologize to you, shutting him up with a kiss would be the best way to make his heart flutter with happiness. You calmed him and reassured him that there was nothing for him to worry about.

Public Display of Affection is his thing and he likes and wants everyone to know that he is yours and you are his. You are his Queen and this man might have ruled France back in the day, but you were much mightier than he was, since you ruled his heart.

He’ll kiss you every single time he’ll get the chance: on your cheek, your hands, your hair and sneak a kiss on your lips too (especially when he wants to see that gorgeous blush on your cheeks).

NSFW Ahead ~ 

He mostly sweet talks when you’re in bed but says the dirtiest things in the most eloquent way which makes you sometimes giggle out of shyness.

Your first time together, Leon kissed, licked, nipped, explored and tasted every inch of your body before claiming you. He was gentle as he made love to you (and his body lightly trembled with the height of his emotions).

He likes to be playful with you, even when you are getting down and dirty so he sometimes tickles you out of nowhere and ends up laughing together before his fingers find their way between your legs, making you gasp and moan for him.

He enjoys teasing you to no end and makes you say and demand the things you want him to do for you before he actually does them. The sight of you frustrated, trembling and almost furious for his touch is absolutely mesmerizing.

He likes spending some quality time with you in the thermae. Just enjoying the warmth of the water and the vapor cleansing your skin. He would massage your body and help you wash and ask you to do the same for him. He would definitely sneak in a few kisses here and there (and would sometimes turn into heavy make-out sessions or a bit more than that). However, he simply enjoys being physically intimate with you (even without the sex).

Leon doesn’t really moan in bed but his soft grunts and groans are very arousing and enough to make you dripping wet when you’re servicing him.

He could spend the entire night with his head between your legs. He relishes the taste of you and the beautiful sounds that you make.

His favourite place to bite you: your inner thighs and wrists (so you can watch him as he feeds on you and see how much he needs you).

He growls at you whenever you try to cover your mouth or bite your lips, depriving him from hearing the moans ripping from your throat. Your pleasure fuels his so you will absolutely succumb to your desires and his needs.

You sometimes feel like he does it on purpose so that the other residents can hear you and make them know that he is the one responsible for making you lose your wits.

Favourite position

In front of a mirror: he likes to take you from the back while holding you up from your waist so he can have easy access to your neck and also turn your face around for a kiss and stimulate your breasts and clit with his hands. When you’re laying on your back: he loves locking eyes with you, seeing every single reaction you make with each touch of his hand and every thrust that he makes. He likes to have your legs over his shoulders so that he can sink deep into you and stimulate your sensitive nub with his thumb, driving you over the edge multiple times and make you tremble before he reaches his own climax.

He has the most irritating and beautiful smirk on his face when you have trouble walking around the mansion or have to excuse yourself from fencing practice.

His absolute weaknesses:

When you call out his name (whether you’re moaning, whining or just asking for his touch). He adores you more than anything and knowing, feeling and seeing how much you need him and love him in return is enough to make him lose control.

When you initiate physical contact and show any sign of neediness, clinginess, desire/yearning. He intentionally drives you into a state of frustration so that he’s able to see how you would be if you were to take things into your own hands, throw him on the bed and just claim him.

He’s a huge cuddlebug after sex and whispers the sweetest things in your ears before he falls asleep with you cradled in his arms. Your warmth is his safe haven.

Kinks: mirror sex, overstimulation, bondage (mostly blindfolding you and tying your wrist over your head), sensory stimulation (using feathers, arousing your senses with heat and cold [example: ice or melted chocolate]), edging, outdoor sex (where you could get caught).

[patchwork-panda]

If A Moment Is All We Are (8/?)

AO3 link: HERE.

“Oh! Kusunoki-kun.”

Kunikida glanced up from his watch, looking pleased.

“An excellent start for your first official day. You’re right on time—”

His smile vanished.

“Kusunoki-kun...”

He adjusted his glasses and approached me, crossing his arms over his chest as his gray-green eyes swept across the top of my head.

“What is that on your head?”

“Uh, a baseball cap?” I replied, jamming the hat further down on my head.

I took a small, hesitant step back towards the door, my hand still glued to my hat.

“Is there something wrong?”

“That depends,” Kunikida ground out. “Would you say there’s something wrong, maybe even unprofessional, about wearing a cat-shaped baseball cap on your first day of work at a well-known detective agency?”

I involuntarily scanned the room, where the only people around my age were Tanizaki Junichiro and several female clerks, who had just begun filing in. Unlike the casually-dressed Tanizaki, each of the clerks was wearing professional attire: a uniform consisting of a gray pencil skirt and vest, decorative white ribbons tied at the neck and modest heels. Sensing my eyes on her, one of the girls, a smart-looking brunette with pink square glasses, put a friendly smile on her face and waved at me, but seeing that only made me feel worse. I glanced back at Kunikida, in his beige professional ensemble, hoping he looked more irritated than he actually felt.

“D-depends on what you find unprofessional about cat-shaped baseball caps.”

When Kunikida’s frown deepened, I sighed.

“It’s the kitty ears, isn’t it?”

“Kusunoki-kun,” Kunikida growled, “Take that ridiculous looking thing off your head this instant. It’s costing us time!”

“But—” I protested, still clutching the hat, and even ducking a little in hopes he wouldn’t snatch it right off my head, “Tanizaki-kun gets to show up in jeans and a sweatshirt! (“Leave me out of this, please!” Tanizaki called from his desk) Why can’t I wear—?”

“Tanizaki-kun,” Kunikida replied, his eyes flashing, “Is an assistant. You are in training to eventually become a full-fledged detective.”

“But I thought I’d gotten hired as a sketch artist!” I squeaked, “Nobody said anything about my becoming a—”

“A sketch artist who needs to meet with clients!” Kunikida snapped, the volume of his voice jumping significantly, “And who is now running several minutes behind in her orientation schedule! Now give me that hat!”

Kunikida took a swipe at the hat and I immediately ducked out of the way and dove under the nearest desk. Throwing both hands over my head as Kunikida yelled for me to come out, I squeezed my eyes shut and hunkered down, praying I could wait it out.

I couldn’t let Kunikida take my hat. I couldn’t let anyone see what I’d done last night just before going to bed...

After officially passing the Exam yesterday, I’d gone home completely wiped out. Not only had I gotten more physical exercise in a single day than I had in months (thanks to Kyouka chasing me all around the main office), but Kunikida had lectured me on math during the entire shopping trip—he even quizzed me when he’d walked me home! By the time the day was over, I’d felt less like I’d accomplished something significant and more like I’d just taken (and failed) an entire summer’s worth of remedial math lessons.

My afternoon schedule was supposed to be simple: go back to my apartment and rest up a little, then head out to the shopping district to get myself some new clothes. Entry to the Armed Detective Agency came with a small advance, so I could buy myself a sort of “work uniform.” Each of the members of the Agency wore a unique professional ensemble, like Kunikida’s beige vest and pant set and now that I was a member, I needed an outfit as well.

A self-proclaimed fashionista, Dr. Yosano had helpfully emailed me a short list of acceptable articles of clothing: mid-length skirts, button-down shirts, ties and so on that I was free to mix and match however I wished. She’d even provided a list of stores that she herself frequented when she needed to freshen up her wardrobe. It was incredibly useful information, given just how little in the way of actual professional clothing I had; the small bag of garments collected from my old apartment was mostly full of T-shirts and jeans, with only one or two pieces that could reasonably pass as “professional.”

Unfortunately, the minute I’d gotten back to my apartment, my otaku tendencies fully took over again and I ended up spending the entire afternoon catching up on manga over instant ramen and several cups of hot tea. Catching up on manga led to watching anime, which led to checking my commissions email account (I still hadn’t closed up my patron-backed account yet), which led to live-streaming a few drawings to relax...

In short, I ended up procrastinating until every last store in the Motomachi shopping district had long since closed. The only thing I could do at this point was search my apartment and pray I actually had something suitable to wear for my first day of work. However, when I looked up from my computer and scanned the room, my heart sank. Graphic T-shirts, scuffed up jeans and mismatched socks lay scattered in wrinkled piles about my living space, exactly where they’d been when I’d discarded them earlier this morning. As I went about the room, rifling through them one by one, hoping to find something even half-way suitable, the knot in my stomach grew tighter and tighter... The brief spark of hope I’d felt when I picked up my one nice blouse faded the moment I turned it over and remembered I’d spilled coffee on it just before leaving for the Entrance Exam. I threw it in the “discard” pile and kept going.

In the end, I’d picked up every piece of clothing on the floor and thrown them in the “discard” pile, with the exception of two pieces: a white button-down shirt that was a little too tight in the stomach and a knee-length plaid skirt that was starting to fray at the hem. I tucked and re-tucked the shirt, even attempting a “French tuck” I’d seen in a video tutorial before realizing it wasn’t working either way.

Then, when I picked at the loose thread on the skirt, I thought I heard something rip. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I looked, I couldn’t figure out what had ripped or more importantly, where. I didn’t want to risk taking anything off so carelessly that I ruined the only set of clothes I could wear for tomorrow, nor did I want to ask for more time to do the shopping I should’ve taken care of today. As much as I wanted to avoid it, there was only one way to figure out how to get myself looking decent enough for my first day at the Armed Detective Agency.

I had to look in the mirror.

Swallowing nervously, I carefully made my way to the bathroom, walking quietly as I went, as if merely softening my footsteps might prevent me from seeing the thing I dreaded most: the disturbing, hollow look of the pupils of my eyes. I only realized I’d kept my eyes closed when I’d gone in once I bumped into the light switch and let out a strangled shriek the minute I laid eyes on my reflection.

But to my surprise, there was nothing to scream about.

My eyes looked... normal. There wasn’t a trace of hollowness in sight. Shakily, I put my hand up to the mirror and leaned in to stare. For the past six months, looking into my own two eyes gave me the jarring impression that I was staring into the infinite reflection between two mirrors. Tonight, all I saw when I looked in the mirror was the face of a regular girl, albeit a nervous-looking one with mahogany-brown eyes and short, choppy black hair.

I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped back to check my outfit. It might have felt a little uncomfortable here and there but overall, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. The actual worst thing about my look was my hair. Although my hair looked okay when I’d put it up in a ponytail, when I took out the elastic, it resembled an uneven chop job accomplished by a five-year-old, no thanks to Akutagawa nearly slicing me in half at the art gallery.

As I twisted an uneven lock of hair between my fingers, I thought about what I could do to fix it. I was an artist by profession and all I needed to do was to even out the ends a little, how hard could this be? I headed for the kitchen, returned to the bathroom with a pair of scissors and started snipping...

If only I’d just stuck my hair in a ponytail again and left well enough alone. Then maybe I wouldn’t be hiding under a desk at a quarter past eight, with a kitty-eared hat on my head and Kunikida roaring at me from overhead like a fire-breathing dragon...

“Kusunoki-kun, you come out right now or I will rescind your employment offer at the Agency!” Kunikida boomed, emphasizing his words by pounding his fist one last time over the desk. “I mean it! Don’t make me use my Ability to pull you out of there!”

I stiffened.

What was his Ability again?

“You’ve got until the count of three!”

Now that I thought about it, no one had ever told me what it was...

“One...”

But did it even matter when I’d seen him knock Dazai to the ground on several occasions?

“Two...”

“Okay, okay!!” I cried, terrified at the prospect of being throttled or fired on the spot, “I’m sorry! I’ll come out!”

As I crawled out from underneath the desk, the heat of Kunikida’s furious glare made me feel like an ant frying under a magnifying glass. I threw away what was left of my dignity and actually started begging.

“Please don’t make me take off my hat, Kunikida-san!” I pleaded, “If you think this one is unprofessional, I can wear a different one tomorrow! It’s not going to interfere with orientation or my ability to do my job, I swear—!”

“Morning, everyone!”

I snapped my mouth shut and turned to the door.

Dazai Osamu, the man who could take a bad situation and somehow make it infinitely worse, had just walked in. Kunikida immediately turned to his partner and began unloading.

“Dazai! You’re late again! Didn’t you hear the President’s orders yesterday? It’s Kusunoki’s first day and you and I are supposed to—”

“Oh, give me some credit, Kunikiiiiiida-kun,” Dazai said dismissively, practically rolling his eyes as he pushed past the irate blonde detective, “Like I could forget about the pretty girl I convinced you to vouch for. Speaking of which...”

He stopped in front of me.

“Good morning, Kyou-chan!” he chirped, his brown eyes sparkling brightly, the widest of grins on his face, “That’s a cute hat. Mind if I try it on?”

And before I could stop him, he pinched one of the kitty ears between his fingers and pulled the entire hat off my head.

At once, a hush fell over the room.

I think I was in shock. I just stood there like a statue as Dazai and Kunikida stared at me... until Dazai put his free hand up to his mouth and stifled a laugh. Flushing angrily, I snatched back my hat.

“Give that back!” I snapped, ripping it out of his hands and throwing it back over my head.

It was bad—I knew that better than anyone. Last night, I’d started with hair that ended halfway down my neck in some places and at my chin in others. I came in this morning with about half that length, looking like I’d lost a fight with a blender—there was barely enough hair left over for even a professional to “fix.”

Hence the kitty hat.

As I watched Dazai double over in silent laughter, Kunikida struggling to maintain his composure, a feminine voice rang out from the hallway.

“Hey, what gives? Why’s everyone blocking up the lobby?”

I turned to the door just as the last of the female clerks scattered and saw a very cross-looking Dr. Yosano striding into the room. As usual, she was impeccably dressed and she had a clear bag of freshly dry-cleaned clothes thrown over one shoulder. As she walked towards us, I thought about hiding behind either Kunikida or Dazai—but I was too slow. Yosano had already spotted my hat and her expression immediately morphed into one of distaste.

“Kyou-chan.”

Her deep purple eyes narrowed even as I clamped my arms down more firmly on my head.

“What is that on your head? In fact...”

She wrinkled her nose.

“What is that entire outfit?”

“I-it’s a kitty hat,” I managed, squirming uncomfortably as Yosano looked me up and down, “And... my only blouse and skirt.”

Yosano looked offended.

“What about that list I sent you?”

“Uh...”

There was a quiet cough, and everyone turned to look at Kunikida.

“Yosano-sensei, you’re only slightly taller than Kusunoki-kun, right?” he mumbled awkwardly. “I’m sorry to ask this of you but do you think you could lend her some of your clothes? You see, she actually has a case already and we need to meet with the client this afternoon...”

“I what?!” I squawked, snapping my head towards him

“You have a case,” Kunikida repeated, looking disgruntled. “We’re meeting the client at two.”

“How?? It’s only my first day!”

“Kyou-chan.”

A black-gloved hand descended upon my shoulder and I stiffened in fear as Yosano turned me to face her, her purple eyes burning with the intensity of a raging fire.

“I’m taking you shopping this weekend,” she muttered between gritted teeth. “Prepare yourself.”

And with that, she shoved her bag of clothes at me and stalked off towards her desk, shooting both me and Kunikida dirty looks as she went. Clutching the bag of clothes in my arms, I sprinted towards the women’s bathroom.

“Don’t worry, Kyou-chan!” Dazai called after me as I ran. “I still think you look cute, no matter what you wear!”

***

Yosano’s clothes (a navy blue skirt and soft cotton blouse) were just a tad bit loose on me, but overall it was a good fit. When I emerged from the bathroom (sans hat) with my clothes in Yosano’s bag, I found the good doctor ready and waiting for me with a dark wig in her hands. Taking the bag from me, she stuck the wig on my head and quickly adjusted it so that it sat correctly on my head.

“We sometimes keep disguises in the back room for stake-outs,” she explained, tucking the last stray hairs away from my face into the wig. “You should hang onto this until I can book you a proper haircut.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, coloring as she examined my face.

“Don’t mention it,” Yosano said brightly, “Now, let’s show you around the office. I’ll be taking over since Kunikida-kun seems to have his hands full...”

As I followed her gaze, I saw Kunikida brandishing his little green notebook at Dazai (they seemed to be arguing again), so I went with her as she went round the desks and introduced me to different members of the staff, who’d been absent during my exam. As we began touring the main office, I pretended not to notice the damaged coffee machine still sitting on the counter near President’s office or the fact that one of the desks that had been there yesterday morning (the one Shirayuki had hurled at me) was now missing. I followed after Yosano as she took me through the kitchenette, the staff locker room and the main conference room. I was about to go with her into her special operating room when I once again caught Tanizaki furiously shaking his head at me and mouthing the words, “Don’t go in there!”

“You’ve already seen the infirmary and the reception area,” Yosano said, taking me back to the office floor, “And since I honestly can’t show you the President’s office, that concludes your tour. Let’s see, it looks like we don’t exactly have a desk for you just yet...”

I guiltily thought back to the desk Kyouka destroyed during my exam as she rubbed her chin in thought.

“So how about you sit with Kunikida-kun for today?” she said, pointing out a desk in the middle of the room, “It looks like he just stepped out to take a call... but I don’t think he’ll mind sharing a workspace with you, especially since he says he needs you for the case this afternoon. I have to go so you can just ask him if you need anything. Bye!”

As she walked away, I started towards Kunikida’s desk... only to stop in my tracks the instant I saw Dazai sitting at the desk directly across from it.

Grinning, the bandaged detective waved cheerfully and I grimaced.

It figures they’d be sitting together; they were partners after all and since Fukuzawa had asked both of them to watch over me, it made complete sense that for my first day, I’d be sitting near both of them. But between the suicide maniac and the raging giant, I wasn’t sure whether I wanted either of them as a mentor...

Taking a deep breath, I slowly headed for the desk, deliberately walking as slowly as possible and avoiding Dazai’s gaze. Maybe if I took my time, Kunikida would come back and then I wouldn’t have to deal with Dazai on my own. At least when they were together, they managed to keep each other in check...

To my relief, someone did arrive, sparing me the ordeal of having to deal with Dazai all by myself, but it wasn’t Kunikida. My savior was a pale, skinny young man with unevenly chopped white hair (the cut looked only marginally better than my own) and a messenger bag slung over his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I’m late!” he shouted, barreling headlong into the room in a blur of black and white before I even got close to my seat.

He screeched to a halt next to Dazai, hastily bowed in greeting and immediately collapsed in the chair next to the brunette’s, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

“I dropped Ranpo-san off in front of the station like you asked me to but he started going the wrong way again,” the young man gasped, loosening his thin, black tie. “I had to ride along with him or he’d been in Tokyo by now!”

He brushed his pale, sweaty bangs away from his forehead, revealing a pair of beautiful duochrome gold-and-purple eyes (my fingers immediately itched for my colored pencils) and when he caught me looking, the boy’s golden eyes went wide.

“Oh no. Are you the new client? Am I that late?!”

“Calm down, Atsushi-kun,” Dazai said, putting a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder. “You didn’t miss our client. This is Kusunoki Kyou-chan. She just joined the Agency yesterday. She’s going to be our new sketch artist.”

At once, Atsushi got to his feet and I did the same.

“I’m Nakajima Atsushi!” he exclaimed, nearly knocking his head against his own desk as he bowed, “Pleased to meet you!”

“I’m Kusunoki Kyou. Pleased to meet you, too!”

“Atsushi-kun here is also an Ability User,” Dazai said as Atsushi took his seat. “Like you, he joined shortly after being targeted by the Port Mafia.”

“Really?” Atsushi and I asked simultaneously as Dazai nodded, his lips twitching into an amused smile as he looked at us.

“You should get to know each other. I think you’ve got a lot in common.”

As Atsushi and I stared at each other, Dazai suddenly grew quiet. He propped his chin up in his hand and leaned forward on his desk so that he could observe me more closely. When I noticed and turned my attention back to him, his coffee-brown eyes glossed over, as if he was daydreaming about something and his smile grew soft.

“W-what is it?” I asked, already regretting my question.

“I didn’t care much for Atsushi-kun falling into my arms the way he did when I first met him,” Dazai mused, “but it were Kyou-chan instead...!”

He sighed dramatically, covering his cheeks with his half-bandaged hands.

“I don’t think I would ever let go!”

“Kyou-chan...?” Atsushi repeated, looking at me curiously as I involuntarily pictured myself in Dazai’s arms and flushed. “Oh, are you two close...?”

He jumped back in fear as I suddenly slammed my hands down on the table and got to my feet, my face burning like the setting sun.

“Dazai-san and I are not close,” I informed him before turning to his desk-mate. “Dazai-san? I don’t know why you’re calling me by my first name but could you please stop? You’re going to give people the wrong idea.”

“Wrong idea?”

Dazai blinked innocently at me.

“But Kyou-chan, you dropped the honorifics with me first. Don’t you remember?”

I was taken aback. I had no memory of this.

“When did I—?”

“It was right after the exam,” Dazai recounted, pointing to my injured arm, “when I put that bandage on you. You were thanking me for looking after you during the test.”

I froze.

He was right. I might have used his last name but I had dropped the honorifics—and right when he was touching me too...!

“I—” I sputtered, face burning hotter than ever before, “It was an accident! I didn’t mean to—!”

“There’s no need to be embarrassed, Kyou-chan,” Dazai sighed, his warm brown eyes twinkling as he floated back into his imagination, “I liked it! Now that I think about it, I’d really like to hear you call me ‘Osamu’ without any honorifics one day, but that’s asking for a bit much right now, isn’t it?”

“What makes you think—?!”

“I know... We’ve only known each other for three days,” Dazai continued, still in that dreamy tone of voice, as Atsushi looked on in awe, “but we’ve had some pretty personal conversations already, haven’t we? You know, like the night I walked you home...”

I needed to stop him before poor Atsushi really got the wrong idea...!

Panicking, I grabbed a roll of masking tape from my desk and dashed over to Dazai’s side.

“What a nice night that was... You looked so cute wearing my jacket, Kyou-chan... Maybe we should get you a nice coat as well, then we could match!”

I had just about lined up a section of tape over Dazai’s mouth when a shadow suddenly appeared over us. I turned around to see Kunikida towering over me with a very irritated look on his face.

“Kusunoki-kun,” he rumbled, pushing his glasses up his nose. “I see Dazai has roped you into his antics.”

I dropped the tape as Kunikida turned his glare on Dazai.

“Dazai-san, wasn’t I just telling you to be a better role model for your juniors? Quit playing around with Kusunoki-kun and get to work! Your client has been waiting for you for over five minutes now!”

He pointed at the door, where an old woman carrying a bag of turnips was holding up a photo of a large, ginger cat. Atsushi was at her side in a flash and he hurriedly showed her to the client booth, shooting worried looks over his shoulder at Dazai as he disappeared through the glass-paneled doors. Tucking his hands into his pockets with a sigh of defeat, Dazai stood.

“Alright, alright... My apologies, Kusunoki-kun. If you want me to call you by your last name, I’d be more than happy to. But just so you know...”

He winked as he passed by me.

“You can call me by my first name. I wouldn’t mind it at all. See you later!”

He walked away, not realizing the only thing keeping me from throwing the roll of tape at the back of his head was Kunikida’s hand clenching my shoulder.

***

The rest of the morning didn’t get any easier.

Having never worked a full time job in my life, I spent the next couple hours sitting at Kunikida’s side, doing my absolute best to absorb everything I could. It was a little hard to concentrate with the weight of the wig on my head and the clothes I’d borrowed from Yosano bunching up in places but somehow I managed. To his credit, Kunikida could probably tell how nervous I was because he was being oddly patient with me. Whatever the reason for it, I was thankful; he didn’t seem to be mad at me any more and I was able to follow along as he explained how things worked at the Agency.

Most of the cases started with taking calls from clients. Each desk had a landline phone connected to it and we were encouraged not to give out cell numbers to clients unless we absolutely had to speak with them while we were out of the office. In those situations, a call forwarding number was provided, so we could keep work matters and personal matters separated. I listened carefully as Kunikida went through the phone shortcuts and took notes on a small notepad I’d brought along just in case the man started quizzing me again, like he had with the math questions on my fake test.

Day-to-day work turned out to be a lot simpler (and less dangerous) than I’d expected for a place called the “Armed Detective Agency.” Most of it was the sort of thing Dazai and Atsushi were currently busy with—finding lost cats, looking up information for business dealings, investigating the occasional affair and so on. Fighting with the Port Mafia or other criminal organizations was generally avoided when possible but skirmishes did happen here and there, in which case, we were expected to defend ourselves appropriately.

“Wait, so does that mean...” I interrupted, “you’re going to be giving me a weapon?!”

Kunikida thought for a moment before giving his answer.

“If the situation calls for it, perhaps,” he mumbled as I blanched visibly.

From there, we moved on to talk about the rather extensive paperwork and filing system at the Agency. At first, it didn’t seem like there was too much to document per case, but as the number of cases piled up, so too could the paperwork.

“Which is why it is imperative you stay on top of your schedule and manage your work properly,” Kunikida stated evenly.

He paused to throw a stapler in the direction of his bandaged partner, who for some reason had been leaning against a window and playing with a fidget spinner.

“Or you’ll end up constantly behind like some people.”

“G-got it,” I mumbled keeping in mind that I should stay on my toes in case Kunikida thought he needed to throw a stapler at me too.

He went over the basic types of reports we needed to write up, which included documenting injury or Ability usage that occurred on the job, and was about to go into the filing system when he noticed I was falling behind in my furious note-taking.

“It’s okay,” he said, the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at his lips, “the clerks take care of most of that, so you can just go ask them if you need something from the system.”

From there we moved on to the computer stuff. I’d actually brought my own laptop from home but as it turns out, that was completely unnecessary. The Armed Detective Agency was a small company of private investigators, so security was a must. Everything, from the company email server to the software programs used to log and track data, could only be accessed from the company laptops, which would be locked up at night in the building. I was, “under no circumstances,” to use the company computer to check my personal email, play video games or goof off in the middle of the work day.

I glanced across the desk at Dazai, who now appeared to be doing all three of the things Kunikida had just forbidden me from doing.

However, unlike the other detectives, I was allowed to take one particular item in and out of the Agency office because of the nature of my position...

My eyes widened as Kunikida presented me with a thin, spiral bound sketch pad with a plain black cover.

“You may be a detective-in-training,” Kunikida admitted, “but we could still use your skills as a sketch artist. The opportunity may not come up very often, with modern security cameras and the like, but on occasion we may need you to assist the police or our clients with identification of certain people. Just try not to hang on to the sketches for too long—”

My excitement getting the better of me, I snatched the notebook out of his hands before he could finish speaking. I knew a good sketchbook when I saw one and this one definitely qualified. The recycled paper had a nice, slightly roughened texture to it, and the thickness and weight were absolutely perfect for either charcoal, colored pencil or ink pen—and there was a really nice smell coming off the pages, like sandalwood or maybe incense. Without thinking, I brought the open pages up to my nose and inhaled, only stopping when I realized Kunikida was staring at me.

I put down the sketchbook at once.

“I’m sorry!” I squeaked, turning red, “It’s just... this is a really nice sketchbook! In fact, it’s perfect. Where did you get this...?”

To my surprise, Kunikida’s face lit up.

“My Master dropped it off along with my new notebook last night,” he gushed, suddenly looking so excited that I nearly fell out of my chair in shock. “He’ll be so happy to hear that you like it—you should tell him yourself the next time he visits. I’ll put it on your schedule—”

Nodding, I scooted a couple centimeters back in my chair. There was clearly something wrong with Kunikida and I needed to call Dr. Yosano right away—the man was actually smiling and his green eyes were literally sparkling as he talked! I was an anime and manga otaku through and through but there was no way any sane person could actually be a notebook otaku!! Were those tears in his eyes?!

“Finally!” Kunikida sighed, “Somebody at this office who appreciates a good quality notebook when they see one—”

As he pulled out his own olive-bound notebook to make a note, he looked up at me, saw the look on my face and instantly put his pen back down. Cheeks flushed, he pushed his glasses back up his nose where they’d slipped down and cleared his throat.

“I—I’m glad you like it. Anyway, let’s set up your email. After which...”

He clicked a few icons on the computer and turned slightly to give me a hesitant look as he typed.

“We should talk about your first case. I hate to throw something so difficult at you on your first day but we’ve been under a lot of pressure to solve it and given the nature of the investigation, this would be a good use of your talents as an artist.”

“Difficult?” I repeated, blinking at him. “What... kind of case is this?”

Kunikida stopped typing.

He swiveled his chair around so that we were facing one another and my unease grew as his serious gray-green eyes met mine.

“It’s a serial kidnapping. And there’s been four victims.”

I stared at him.

“I’m sorry. What?”

[altumvidetur]

[Soukoku] Chains Meant to Break: an elaboration

Almost a month ago, I posted a Bungou Stray Dogs fanmix called Chains Meant to Break (link is here if you missed it), about Chuuya and Dazai and their relationship.

Since then, I’ve been trying to resist the temptation of making a post explaining why I chose those songs to represent Soukoku. What most of my other fanmixes in the distant past taught me is that no one is interested in hearing why; you should just strive to say what you mean with your choice of songs, and skip the blocks of text.

It’s hard to tell because of the shoddy art, but I actually spent quite some time assembling the fanmix -- about two years, in fact. And, despite my maxim, I found out that I want to talk about it: why I chose the songs, my interpretation of their relationship, and all that shit. And I realized: hell, this here is my blog, what is stopping me?

So I came to a compromise with myself: I would put the explanations in a different post, so only people who are really interested will see it. And, if no one is interested, too bad; I enjoyed the writing process, and that’s what’s important.

So, if you’re interested, here it goes:

Side A (Chuuya):

Foo Fighters – Best of You I needed somewhere to hang my head Without your noose You gave me something that I didn’t have But had no use I was too weak to give in Too strong to lose My heart is under arrest again But I break loose My head is giving me life or death But I can’t choose I swear I’ll never give in I refuse

The first songs are about first impressions. To Chuuya, Dazai is a walking contradiction — a suicidal manchild who shouldn’t have been able to survive in the real world, and yet commands his own troops in the Port Mafia without enough cunning to turn tides and do miracles. Chuuya has to deal with the temptation of a place to belong coming from a person whose ideals he cannot condone or stand. Ultimately, despite accepting the invitation and becoming a Port Mafia soldier, he still refuses to cave in to Dazai’s worldview.

Seether – Remedy Frail The skin is dry and pale The pain will never fail And so we go back to the remedy Clip The wings that get you high Just leave ‘em where they lie And tell yourself, you’ll be the death of me

Here we have the start of a relationship — a working relationship, a sexual relationship, and maybe something of a romantic relationship. Chuuya gets to know Dazai more, and understands that he’s barely holding it together under the façade of cheerfulness, so he comes to see their liaison as something of a pain-reliever for Dazai’s worst moods. He acknowledges their dynamic as unhealthy, but it holds too much allure for him to stop; it also helps him deal with the harsh reality they live in as Port Mafia hitmen. He still has things he holds close to his chest — he won’t die for Dazai, he won’t “die for pleasure” —, but he is willing to shoulder the burden of Dazai’s affection, with all that it entails. 

My Chemical Romance – I Don’t Love You When you go Would you have the guts to say I don’t love you Like I loved you Yesterday?

This song marks the moment Dazai leaves, and Chuuya realizes he has given too much of himself up, to get apparently nothing in return. He repeats to himself, to Dazai, and to whoever wants to hear that he never cared; he knew who Dazai was, knew the man was unreliable and it was bound to end like this. However, there is a part of him — a large part of him — that still wants answers; that expected some sort of commitment, or at least an acknowledgement of what they had. In the end, he’s screaming he doesn’t love Dazai anymore, in the hopes it will ring true out loud — because inside his heart it doesn’t.

Breaking Benjamin – Breath This will be all over soon Pour salt into the open wound Is it over yet? Let me in

As fate would have it, Chuuya meets Dazai again and again after the man’s departure. And he knows he has to let the man go, for the Port Mafia and for his own sake; holding on to Dazai means that the both of them will drown. But when they meet, the wound only gets deeper, and their longing for each other pulls them into a cycle of hatred and violence with no discernible end. Chuuya begs Dazai to either get a hold of himself and change — and acknowledge their relationship, and make a move towards something better — or end their connection, since he himself can’t do anything.

Placebo – Special K Gravity, no escaping gravity Gravity, no escaping, not for free I fall down To the ground Make a heavy sound Every time you seem to come around

For me, this song represents exactly what Soukoku is about, so much so that it’s actually the origin of my otp tag here. Chuuya followed Dazai swearing he would never give in to him, but he is already in too deep,  no coming back. There are moments when Chuuya thinks that maybe Dazai will bring him into the light, and moments when he knows Dazai as his greatest weakness; the constant is that, no matter what effect Dazai has on him, Chuuya cannot fight it. He, the master of gravity, is at the mercy of Dazai’s pull, and can only go whenever Dazai wants him to go.

Side B (Dazai):

Garbage – A Stroke of Luck You say that you’ll be there to catch me Or will you only try to trap me? These are the rules I make Our chains were meant to break You’ll never change me

Chuuya comes in like a hurricane in Dazai’s world of neatly labeled boxes. Even though he is confronted every day by their merciless reality, he still thinks there are things worth living for; at the same time, he refuses to let Dazai get away with his bullshit, presenting himself as someone who could help him change, should Dazai want it (although, of course, he doesn’t). Dazai is clever enough to know Chuuya could break him, and wonders whether he will with the dispassion of someone who’s not really attached to life anymore.  

Damien Rice – Volcano Don’t throw yourself like that In front of me I kissed your mouth, your back Is that all you need?

Don’t drag my love around Volcanoes melt me down

When it comes to their relationship, Dazai realizes quickly that Chuuya is more invested than he says he is. He knows this is a bad idea, and warns Chuuya accordingly: he is not worth Chuuya’s time, he will waste Chuuya’s love, and he thinks Chuuya may be projecting his own ideal partner into him. What he doesn’t realize is that he himself cares more than he implies; his need to warn Chuuya of all the things he could possibly do while dismissing Chuuya’s positive feelings for him — and his own positive feelings for Chuuya, to boot — are symptoms of his shitty self-esteem trying to sabotage something that makes him happy.

VAST – You Should Have Known I’d Leave Suddenly You're outside of my dreams You should have known I'd leave

Dazai leaves with no goodbye or last messages to Chuuya — save for the burning car. Considering Dazai’s wreck of a psyche, and his constant statements that Chuuya does not need him, it’s easy to see why he would want to sever the connection between them. He blames Chuuya for placing expectations on him that he would never be able to meet, but lacks the self-honesty to admit that leaving him behind is a lot harder than he claims it is.

The Gaslight Anthem – Get Hurt And I came to get hurt (get hurt) Might as well do your worst to me (get hurt) Have you come here to get hurt? (get hurt) Have you come to take away from me? From me, from me Might as well do your worst to me

As fate would have it, Dazai’s past catches up to him, and he meets Chuuya again and again after his departure. He is aware of the cycle of violence between them, but, unlike Chuuya, he encourages it; he sees it as punishment he’s due, maybe even a death to look forward to. And, while he recognizes they seem to be somewhat stuck with each other, he also recognizes that Chuuya bloomed after he left, which reinforces his theory that Chuuya actually never needed him, and will be happier once he’s gone for good.  

The Mountain Goats – Oceanographer’s Choice Look at that Would you look at that? The way the ceiling starts to swerve What will I do when I don’t have you? When I finally get what I deserve?

When subjected to deep-sea pressure, divers are subjected to nitrogen narcosis, a delirium-like state of mental impairment because of gas inhalation. It is the kind of situation where one might be unable to see a way out; is the kind of situation in which a person might just let themselves drown. While Dazai is very aware of his own toxic nature, he also can’t let Chuuya go, not completely, and he dreads the day when Chuuya finally gets his bearings and lets go of him. Unable to do anything to remedy the situation, Dazai just simmers in his own misery, moving helplessly towards a future he doesn’t want.

So that’s it. Thanks for reading, and, if you want to, tell me what you think!

[multiimuse]

1 2 3 4 6 10 12 13 15 - bsd kids !

1.) what would completely break your character?

Chuuya - There isn’t much that would break Chuuya. In fact, it would probably take someone deliberately going to the trouble to do so. He’s skilled at picking himself up from things that would have broken others and throwing himself into something else. Betrayal would shake him, but the only thing that would truly break him would be a complete and prolonged loss of control over himself, his life, and his body. He values his ability to be in control of himself so highly that to lose that would tear him apart, and the longer it goes on, the worse he’ll be when he comes out the other side.

Alcott -  Being directionless and without guidance would break Louisa. She’s very good at supporting others, but she’s a follower, and without someone to guide her or a purpose to work towards, she’s very easily broken. Her desperation to find and help restore Fitzgerald to his position of power was, at heart, her loyalty combined with her inability to take hold of her own life. Without someone or something to give herself to, Louisa would fall apart.

Ranpo - Having his world upended on him again. It nearly broke him once, and it took the intervention of Fukuzawa to keep him from snapping. To have his security ripped out from under him again, to lose the people he’s come to depend upon and car for in return... he couldn’t handle that happening again. (He’s always known there’s an inherent level of risk in the work they do, but he never fully believed anything could take a single one of his coworkers down, let alone the president. Not permanently.) 

2.) what was the best thing in your character’s life?

Chuuya - Receiving closure on the whole Arahabaki... thing. The answers he learned weren’t all things he wanted to hear, and they weren’t necessarily easy to live with, but knowing for certain is still the best thing that he could have ever experienced, because it let him put that chapter of his life behind him at last and focus on building up who he wanted to be.

Alcott - Working for Fitzgerald --- as frustrating as he can be, she knows he relies on and appreciates her strategic skills, and it inspires her to work her hardest. Even now, she wouldn’t go back; she’s right where she wants to be, and she’s thankful that she could get this back. 

Ranpo - Getting an answer that made a confusing and terrifying world refocus into something he could understand. That day in the theatre with Fukuzawa saved his sanity, and he knows that full well. More than that, it shifted the direction his entire life took, and led to him gaining the family that he has now. There’s very little that can even come close to the relief that came from him getting a logical explanation for why the adult world was so bewildering.

3.) what was the worst thing in your character’s life?

Chuuya - Dazai leaving the mafia.Alright, no, that was just the culmination of it. The worst thing was the disintegration of their partnership, the tentative friendship they had been building falling apart before it could solidify or grow into anything more.

Alcott - Losing her younger sister, Elizabeth. It wasn’t something that surprised anyone, because she was very sick for a long time. But it still hurt, and hurts to this day. That, in the end, there as nothing that could save her --- that the money she sent home from her work with the Guild could, in the end, only go toward making her comfortable... it’s easily the worst thing she’s ever had to face.

Ranpo - When his parents died and left him alone in a world that he could neither understand nor cope with, leaving him to face his grief and try to find his way without any kind of support. It was and is the worst thing that has ever happened to him, though... recent manga events are threatening to outdo that.

4.) what seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?

Chuuya - A lot of little incidents from when he and Dazai were partners: spilling a newly-purchased wine on his equally-new rug, a spar that got out of hand (and got both of them in trouble), the mission that earned the mackerel his nickname, etc. It would take too long to go through all of them, because there are so many and so varied. They’re not all tied back to Dazai, however --- there are moments with Kouyou, sharing tea and training, conversations with Hirotsu, any number of Kajii’s strangest ‘experiments’... just little things, but things that remind him of the people who have been a major part of his life for good or ill.

Alcott - Listening to her sister Elizabeth play the piano, discussing dreams and future plans with all of her siblings, reading by the fire with her father. When she cut her hair to above her shoulders for the first time in her life, much to family’s horror. An argument between her parents about philosophy versus practicality. Falling into a pond when she was eight years old and losing a shoe to the muck.

Ranpo - Hahaha... this would take too long to list, because Ranpo’s memory is like a steel trap, and he remembers so many things that seem insignificant to other people that it would take forever to go through all of them. But one such memory is walking with his mother in their garden, just after she had gotten some new, imported flower seeds. He was angry thy hadn’t sprouted yet, and she told him to give them more time --- they’d emerge when they were ready to face the world, and not before. (It stands out in his mind moreso than most things, because neither he nor his mother ever saw those flowers bloom: she and Father died mere weeks after that walk.)

6.) what is your character reluctant to tell people?

Chuuya - Anything about Arahabaki and Corruption. If you don’t already know, you don’t need to know. On a less obvious level, he’s very reluctant to tell anyone when he’s feeling conflicted about something. It’s much easier to be honest about straightforward emotions --- when something has him tangled up in mixed feelings, he’ll generally only address the surface-level, obvious issues in conversations with other people. (For example, he was very open with being pissed at Dazai for everything he did, but was extremely reluctant to bring up or admit to anything else he felt about his partner.)

Alcott - Louisa is reluctant to tell anyone the kind of background she comes from. She’ll admit she has multiple sisters, and that one was sick for a while before passing away, but she won’t breathe a word about her father’s habits or how many times they moved or... anything like that. Why should she? She at least has a family, and she’s loved. There’s no reason to bring up the less-pleasant details, is there?

Ranpo - With the ADA, at least, he’s very reluctant to tell them that he knows he doesn’t have an Ability. While this is in part because he doesn’t want to look stupid for having believed it for so long, it’s also due to the fact that it’s a comfortable little delusion, something that’s become a part of his identity and the routine of his world, and admitting that he knows the glasses do nothing would shake him out of his comfort zone. (He has less issue admitting it to other people, and he can finally admit it to himself entirely as long as he’s alone, so... he’ll get there eventually.) He’s also pretty reluctant to talk about anything that upsets him on a deeper level --- he’d much rather distract himself or fuss about something that’s easily remedied than address anything more serious.

10.) what would your character make a scene in public about?

Chuuya - He’s not prone to making scenes in public unless Dazai is right there and pushing his buttons. Then he’s likely to make a scene just because he can’t keep his temper under control around that asshole. (...And, alright, he’s kind of a wine snob, and he’ll kick up a fuss about bad wine.) 

Alcott - Nothing! Why would she want to make a scene? Scenes are scary, they make people look at you and try to talk to you and then all you can do is try to get away. The only kind of scene she’s likely to make is when something spooks her enough to make her panic, or Fitzgerald has driven her to the very end of her rope.

Ranpo - He doesn’t really care if the world knows that he’s hungry or tired or lost or just feeling ignored, so he’ll make a scene about just about anything if he’s uncomfortable or unhappy enough. Why bother with societal norms that seem pointless and stupid to him, anyway? 

12.) what are your character’s major flaws?

Chuuya - His temper, though he’s gotten better at controlling it as he’s gotten older, save for when it’s Dazai poking at him. He’s also a little too trusting, a little too gullible, a little too willing to believe what he’s being told if it comes from the mouth of someone he considers important enough to pay attention to. And it isn’t a major flaw anywhere else, perhaps, but the fact that he genuinely dislikes taking casualties and tends to get attached to other people within the mafia is a trait that is a flaw by virtue of leading toward unsafe habits. In short, he cares too much. (Note, however, that this doesn’t apply to strangers or anyone outside of the mafia --- he doesn’t care about everyone, after all.)

Alcott - Her anxiety is to the point of crippling, and is one of her biggest flaws. But it’s far from the only one: she also tends to see money as a way to solve problems, or at least ease them, and she’s far, far too reliant on others to give her a set goal and purpose in life. She wouldn’t be able to function without Fitzgerald giving her something to do, and her loyalty to him has led her to excuse most, if not all, of his actions. 

Ranpo - His pride and lack of tact, for sure. He’s arrogant to a fault, and while yes, he can back up his claims, that combined with his lack of tact can leave a lot of wreckage in his wake. (See the state that he left Poe in after crushing him in that competition.) Generally, he can be thoughtless and disrespectful, and cheerfully selfish in a way rather like a human hurricane --- he doesn’t necessarily mean to leave everything scattered in his wake, but it happens anyway. 

13.) what does your character pretend or try to care about?

Chuuya - He makes an effort to try and show interest in and care about whatever his coworkers are hung up on. This mostly extends to putting up with things that he has no desire to actively participate in, like Kajii’s experiments or ideas. It helps that he really does care about the rest of the mafia --- they’re the only family he’s ever known, so it’s worth expressing an interest in things that he has no real interest or investment in.

Alcott - She doesn’t see much point in pretending to care about anything, even if it might be the kinder thing to do. However, she does try to care about Fitzgerald’s sudden interest in shopping for bargains, if mostly so that she can try to teach him how to actually shop wisely. It’s less about enjoying the hobby, however, and more about damage control.

Ranpo - Why in the world would he pretend to care about something he has no interest in? Why would he want to try? Ranpo doesn’t bother with anything like that, both because he doesn’t care for pretending or conforming to others’ ideas about what’s polite or sensible, and because he’s naturally a little too self-centered to see the worth in faking or forcing interest. If he’s interested, he’ll show it, if not, why bother?  

15.) what is your character afraid of?

Chuuya - Losing his humanity; being forced into using Corruption when Dazai is too far away or too disinterested to step in and stop him before he dies, the pictures of his unfortunately highly-successful crossdressing mission turning up again.

Alcott - Something happening to her family while she’s away in Japan and never finding out. Being left to try and find her own way. Talking to strangers or people she doesn’t know well yet or particularly loud and intimidating coworkers. Heights. Mice.

Ranpo - Losing Fukuzawa and Yosano, and to a slightly lesser extent the rest of the agency. (He likes everyone there, or is learning to, but Fukuzawa and Yosano are family, and he can’t bear to lose another family.) Looking stupid in front of the people that matter. A national candy shortage. 

[dazaaaai]

(person from ur tumblr): CAN I JUST SAY THIS BLOG IS AWESOME :D I cant believe I found another person who likes bsd! btw Im Kunikida's wife, nice to meet you. Tell ur hus that Kunikida wants an explanation regarding the sudden disappearance of his nb XDD Aaanyways, to get to the point, I was hoping maaaybe for a prompt like: Kunikida sick w/ cold and a sweet Dazai takes care of him...?

HI THERE!! Sorry this is so late omg it’s been almost half a year but BLESS!!! It’s always good to have more people who like the Bungalow Wild Pups :D hello Mrs. Kunikida it’s a pleasure to meet you as well, I’ll be sure to tell Dazai to attend to the case of Kunikida’s missing notebook XD And yes !! You may of course, have your request! I think it’s not as fluffy and one-on-one as you wanted, but I had a lot of fun writing, so thank you for requesting and I do hope you enjoy it as much as I did typing it up!!

This Can’t End Well

⋆pairing: none that are mentioned!⋆ characters: Doppo Kunikida, Osamu Dazai, Akiko Yosano (main); Atsushi Nakajima, Junichirou Tanizaki, Kenji Miyazawa, Edogawa Ranpo, OC (secondary); Fukuzawa Yukichi, Kirako Haruno and the clerks (mentioned)⋆genre: mostly comedy, fluff near the end⋆ rating: K+⋆warnings: mentions of vomiting and other sickness symptoms⋆words: 2051→  summary: Kunikida’s definitely sick, and neither the Agency nor he himself are entirely certain what to do. Dazai, however, has a plan…

   This couldn’t end well.

    He didn’t want to admit it. It was shameful, and he had work to do! He couldn’t just slack off, couldn’t just stay at home… He had a schedule to keep to, an ideal — there was no way he could allow himself to be lazy, no way he could allow himself to act like…

    Dazai pinches his cheek, “Kunikida-kuuuun. You look awfully red.”

    Kunikida growls, “Well. Maybe if someone weren’t standing here trying to annoy me to death, my complexion would be a lot paler.”

    “I don’t think it’s just that,” Dazai hums, moving his hand from his cheek to his forehead, Kunikida doing everything in his power to keep typing and not snap Dazai’s wrist. “Kunikida-kun, I think you have a fever!”

    “Absolutely not,” Kunikida quickly swats his hand away before returning to his ever-important document. Click-clack, click-clack…

    “I think maybe Yosano-sensei should take a look at you.”

    “Absolutely not.”

   And then, to Kunikida’s horror, his body completely betrays him. His nose seizes, his lip quivers, his face scrunches up…

   He does an awful, awful thing.

   He sneezes.

   “Bless you, Kunikida-san!” Comes Atsushi’s voice from across the desk, from where the tiger boy is sitting, on the other chair.

   Kunikida swiftly wipes his nose with a hanky, returning to his typing.

   “You know,” Dazai says, leaning against his chair. “Our little photographer says that where she’s from, a single sneeze means bad luck, or very simply, ‘be patient.’ Maybe your work can wait?”

   “Nonsense! I do not procrastinate,” But his voice sounds stuffy — stuffier than usual, Kunikida’s sure Dazai would remark — and his eyes feel weary. His throat is scratchy, too…

   “Uh-oh,” Dazai coos. “I think somebody’s definitely sick.”

   “No.”

   “You really don’t look so well, Kunikida-kun.”

   “I’m fine, Dazai!”

   “You’re sick,” Dazai’s teasingly insistent, turning to his subordinate, “Atsushi-kun! Doesn’t Kunikida-kun seem sick to you?”

   Atsushi glances nervously between his two superiors — one wears an easy-going smile and the other’s glaring daggers at Atsushi, as if daring him to speak up.

   “W-well,” he begins. “Kunikida-san’s a logical man… Why would he come to work if he wasn’t feeling well?”

   “I don’t know,” Dazai hums. “Why don’t you ask him?”

   Atsushi takes one look at Kunikida, yelps, and buries his face back in his paperwork.

   “I am not sick, Dazai,” Kunikida says, with a sense of finality — he refuses to accept any prolonging of this discussion. He has work to do.

   But then…

   Coughs.

   It’s a small, tickle of sorts, within the back of his throat, at first. Then the tickle turns into scraping in his lungs, and soon enough Kunikida’s hacking up spit and bile into the palm of his hand, desperately trying to keep the contents of his stomach inside his body where they belong.

   “Kunikida-san?” It’s Junichirou this time, he’s walking by with a stack of folders and binders. The boy’s bright red eyes gaze at Kunikida with concern, “Are you alright? You don’t look too good.”

   “Tanizaki-san, I assure you, I’m in perfect health—” Kunikida says, but ends up being unable to continue as another coughing fit wracks his chest.

   Junichirou frowns, “You should go lie down in Yosano-sensei’s infirmary, if only for a bit. It’d help a lot — I can take over what you need to do for today from here, if you need me to.”

   Kunikida dismisses him with a wave of his shaky hand, “No, I insist. I have it under control.”

   He returns to his typing, only to realize upon hitting a certain point in his document, that he needs to refer and source something from a case they’d solved last year — the files to do with that are not on the hard drive belonging to the computer he’s currently working with. In fact, they haven’t been digitized yet, so they’re on a shelf against the walls of the office, a little ways away from where Kunikida’s working.

   All he has to do is get up and get the binder. Simple, right?

   Not right. He gets up and is immediately hit by a wave of dizziness so intense that both Atsushi and Junichirou shout at once, “Kunikida-san!”

   They rush to his side just as his head’s about to hit the ground and catch him, the two younger, weaker boys barely holding the man upwards, dragging him back to his seat, which he collapses in gratefully, and while breathing heavily.

   “You definitely need a break,” Junichirou puts a hand to Kunikida’s forehead, tutting when he feels the high temperature of his skin.

   “No no,” Kunikida insists, but when he sits up he again finds himself dizzy, collapsing back once more in his seat.

   “Everybody needs to rest sometime,” Atsushi says, voice soft.

   “I can rest at night, when I’m asleep…”

   “Kunikida-san,” Junichirou continues. “We’re going to take you to Yosano-sensei and see what she thinks, okay?”

   Kunikida’s face manages to pale, at least, in comparison to how red it is from his fever. “Oh no.”

   Dazai cackles maniacally, “How exciting! Gotta get treated by the scary scary doctor when you have the suds, Kunikida-kuuun…!”

   “Is he alright?” Kenji asks, poking his head out from behind Atsushi and Junichirou, who’ve been waiting outside of Yosano’s office for about half an hour.

   He was asking this question to Yosano, of course, who’d finally unlocked the door and stepped outside, seeming bemused in expression but smiling gently at Kenji, then laughing.

   “Oh he’s fine,” she replies at last. “He’s just sick.”

   “I knew it!” Dazai yells cheerily from across the floor.

   “So he really is sick?” Junichirou bites his lip, “Can you heal him?”

   Yosano shakes her head, “No. My ability only works on injuries, and is mostly intended for the life-threatening kind… It can do nothing for psychological damage, medical problems you were born with, nor, in this particular case… The common cold.”

   “He caught a cold?” Atsushi’s almost in awe. “That seems so strange. He’s always seemed so healthy and hard-working.”

   “Finally took its toll,” Yosano sighs. “It’s a sign that he needs to rest.”

   She then narrows her eyes, looking all around at the Agency members.

   “Whatever you do,” she begins, tone deadly serious and commanding. “Do not let that man leave his bed. I don’t care if he begs or pleads or cries, he will not work today.”

   “B-but,” Atsushi tries to argue. “Yosano-sensei! You know Kunikida-san is so very, u-um—!”

   “Doctor’s orders,” is Yosano’s firm reply, as she exits the Agency with her heels pattering against the marble. “Now, I’m off to get cough syrup for the patient. Do what you will to make him feel comfortable, if you feel like it — though I’m sure he’d rather you all be working in his absence.”

   The door shuts, and a silence falls upon the members of the Agency.

   “What…” Atsushi trails off. “Now?”

   “Isn’t it obvious, Atsushi-kun?” Dazai laughs, coming to put a hand on the boy’s shoulder, “We take care of Kunikida-kun until Yosano-sensei returns from the pharmacy.”

   “How do we take care of him though?” Junichirou looks at Dazai, curious. “We’re not doctors.”

   “Oh, pish-tosh! It’s just a cold, right? Everybody has home remedies for a cold! Why not throw some suggestions my way, and I’ll see what I can do for my beloved coworker!”

   “Dazai-san,” Atsushi’s surprised. “I didn’t know you cared about Kunikida-san so much.”

   Dazai puts a hand to his chest, as if he’s completely and totally offended. “Why! Atsushi-kun. I’m struck at the very idea that you thought I don’t care about him. Nothing could be further from the truth! He takes such good care of the Agency, why don’t we return the favor for a change?”

   There are slow, then enthusiastic nods amongst the younger Agency members, but Ranpo simply cackles from where he sits, sucking on a lollipop.

   “Oh yeah,” he shakes his head, eyes ever closed in amusement. “This can’t end well.”

   “Now now,” Dazai claps his hands together. “Ranpo-san, don’t be so pessimistic! So, which of you lovelies has an idea for what we could do?”

   “Well,” Kenji taps his chin. “Honey will do the trick, if he has a sore throat.”

   The brown-eyed girl sitting next to Kenji sticks out her tongue, “Honey. Yucky! I hate that stuff. I have a better idea,” she gets up off her seat, and skips off to the front door, “I’m going to go down to the café, ask Lucy if she has any maple syrup. Same effect, tastes much better!”

   Before anyone can stop her, the door is opened and shut once more.

   “Maybe something hot and warm to eat,” Atsushi turns around. “Like soup.”

   “Atsushi-kun, can you cook?”

   “M-more or less, but—”

   “Wonderful! Accompany the little princess down to the cafe and ask if you can use their kitchen and ingredients — be sure to tell them to put charges on your tab, alright?”

   “B-but!”

   “You’re the one who suggested it, not me. Now go, go go go!”

   Atsushi sighs, getting up and doing so.

   “What should we do?” Junichirou and Kenji ask in unison.

   “Hmmm,” Dazai tips his head, thinking. “You two should take care of Kunikida’s work while he’s away from his keyboard. I’m sure he’d appreciate that tons!”

   Junichirou furrows his eyebrows, “His work is really complicated, at least to me. I’m just an errand boy, Dazai-san…”

   Kenji nods in nervous agreement, “Yeah. And I still don’t know what a computer is, let alone how to use one!”

   Dazai laughs, like it’s not a problem at all. “You’re two capable boys! I’m sure you can figure out.”

   They exchange glances, then get up, bowing lightly, saying, “We’ll do our best!”

   Dazai waves them off happily, then turns to the infirmary’s door with what can only be described as a grin akin to that of the Cheshire Cat.

   So begins his fun…

   “Y-Yosano-sensei!” Kunikida splutters as the woman enters her office once more, having returned with the cough medicine she’d promised.

   “Hmm?” Yosano raises a perfectly-shaped eyebrow in confusion. “Kunikida-kun, you’re acting so scared as if I might treat you with my ability.”

   “This is worse,” he whispers. “So much worse.”

   “What happened?” Yosano rolls down one of her gloves to check her watch, “I couldn’t have been gone more than forty minutes.”

   “Dazai happened.”

   And Kunikida, with a dying voice, though Yosano insists for him to rest his throat, regales her on all the awful things that have occurred in those devastating forty minutes that Yosano was absent.

   First, Atsushi and his little friend come back up into the Agency, one with a pot of hot soup, and the other with a big urn (that’s the only word that comes to Kunikida’s mind, as it was just so large) of maple syrup, both insisting that he eat it all.

   He, er, had expelled most of it, to his utter humiliation and to Yosano’s complete unsurprise.

   And then, it got worse… Dazai came in and tried to cheer him up, as it were, by driving him “COMPLETELY UP THE WALL” and constantly poking and prodding him, pretending to give him a soothing massage when really he was nearly breaking Kunikida’s foot to go along with his disease.

   Then, to top it all off, Junichirou comes in, maybe five or ten minutes before Yosano’s return, only to tell him that he finished all of Kunikida’s work… When Kunikida asked Junichirou to show him, Kenji waddled in with the laptop, and after seeing the state it was in, Kunikida could do nothing but scream.

   Kunikida’s end up sent home for the week — and the detectives are given a thorough scolding from the President. Ranpo laughs about it nonstop, every day up until Kunikida returns…

   And once he does, nobody goes near him, not even Dazai.

   They know if they do…

   It won’t end well.

   But, when Kunikida arrives, all better now though even angrier than usual, to sit at his desk…

   He finds a little card perched on his laptop.

   He takes the small, thick paper, and unfolds it to reveal the words, surely in one of the members’ neat calligraphy…

We’re sorry!! Get well soon, Kunikida-san!

   And it’s signed by every one of the detectives and clerks, even Dazai and Ranpo.

   So maybe it did end well, after all.

[graevite-blog]

askbox roulette! / there's the potential for both fluff and angst i like this --

[ askbox roulette ]

It’s something they both know how to do, and yet, while watching some movie or another one night, waiting for Dazai to finish some paperwork in the study ( because Chuuya has been - in no uncertain terms - banished from the study for the night due to his propensity to, ah, distract Dazai from that boring paperwork ), he realizes it’s something they haven’t actually done together.

Having grown up in the mafia meant that they’d both learned various forms of dance in order to be able to mingle with the high-class business clients they frequently deal with, and yet… Due to their schedules as children had been quite different, they’d never taken dancing lessons at the same time. Even so, he was certain that Dazai knew how to do it - Mori wouldn’t have let such an important skill be missed, even if Dazai hated it - and so Chuuya supposes he will have to remedy that situation immediately. Dazai probably doesn’t even like dancing, and is probably tired, but… The second Chuuya hears him moving, he puts on some soft music, and when Dazai looks over at him, curious, from the door of the study, Chuuya holds out a hand in gesture, smiling warmly.

“Come here for a few minutes.”

And he can tell Dazai is somewhat suspicious - curious, rather; it’s not a bad look on his face - of the music, but he approaches anyway, and Chuuya slides their hands together, giving Dazai the role of the lead. It’s likely more natural to him that way, considering they’d both - presumably - learned with Elise as their partner. He slides his other hand up to rest on Dazai’s arm, pleased to feel Dazai’s free hand curl around his waist to land on his back, and so he moves them to the center of the room, resting his head against Dazai’s shoulder as they start to move slowly. 

It’s just a simple waltz, nothing complicated, but it’s really not about the dance at all; it’s about the indulgence and the closeness and just… The peace between them right now, the domesticity they never thought they’d have, being able to spend time like this dancing, of all things, despite all the bloodshed and chaos in their lives. He knows Dazai is tired, and he has every intention of dragging them to bed after this, he’d just… Felt the need to do this, and the fact that Dazai had obliged - had seemed quietly pleased, even, despite Chuuya’s thought that maybe he hates dancing ( or maybe he only doesn’t hate it because it’s Chuuya ) - has his heart swelling with affection as it does so often. 

This peace and quiet, the affection warming his chest and filling his lungs, is more than he’d ever deserved. Dazai is more than he ever deserved, and yet Chuuya won’t give him up for the world.

Once the song draws to an end, Chuuya allows a few extra steps before they slow to a stop, then tilts his head up to give Dazai a soft, loving kiss. “… I love you, Osamu.” He’s sure they both know that already, of course, but still. “Thanks for indulging me. Now let’s get you to bed.”