#let's wing it fic exchange

[ariichive]

SURVIVE────°˖✧ ✧˖°────

being in an arranged marriage with mydeimos was bound to come with problems—sharp words exchanged like drawn daggers, every touch charged with defiance rather than desire. resentment simmered beneath forced smiles, yet in the moments between their clashes, something dangerous lurked—a spark neither of them dared name, waiting for the right moment to ignite.

the heart grows stronger with distance, or so they say. with mydeimos sent off to war, the kingdom of castrum kremnos grew colder, the weight of his absence pressing heavier than an unspoken longing. but loneliness was a quieter enemy compared to the kremnoans, who saw the new queen not as a ruler but as a weakness. whispers turned to plots, daggers drawn in the shadows. they would see her dead before they let her soften their king.

cw: violence, threats, friends to enemies to lovers, arranged marriage au, childhood friends, death, parent issues on both ends, slight angst but happy ending, gore. fem reader wc: 12k took this fic so seriously that i typed it with proper capitalization and proofread it... i could have missed something though, my ideas were everywhere but i think i connected everything!

The man who stood before you was no longer full of that youthful spirit from a decade ago. The light in his eyes was diminished, something darker and more primal in them now. though, you're sure the same could be said about you.

Gone was the admiration in your eyes. Gone was the eagerness to learn more about your husband. In its place stood a wary acceptance, a silent understanding forged through years of unspoken grievances and battles fought both on the field and within these very walls. The love you once searched for had been buried beneath duty and bloodshed, leaving behind something colder—something you didn't have the courage to name.

This marriage was something neither of you wanted. While he was much more vocal with opposition, you couldn't deny the snarl of your lips when your parents would open their mouths and order you around like you were some object.

Obedience had been expected, demanded—but resentment had taken root long before you ever stood at the altar. Mydeimos fought his fate with fire and fury, yet you had been forced to smother yours beneath clenched teeth and measured silence. Still, the bitterness remained, coiling deep in your chest, waiting for the day it could finally be set free.

"Do you, [name] of Styxia, take Mydeimos as your husband? To be there after every battle, after every bloodshed? Will you be able to withstand the consequences and hate that comes from this marriage?"

The priest had a chilling smile on his face.

Of course, the people of Castrum Kremnos had a terrible hatred harbored for you. They believed in fighting for power, tearing through everything and everyone with brute strength.

Mydeimos' parents were wedded through battle and countless fights. That is precisely what Kremnoans expected out of their only son: marry a wife who rivals your strength and can hold the crown when the king is away. It was natural for them to protest the political marriage between you and Mydeimos.

Of course things were not always this way.

"Mydei, look at the butterfly I caught!" You gently lifted your finger to the young prince's face. "Playing with such insects?" Mydei crossed his arms and let out a 'hmph', "Young girls like you should be scared of those mindless- G-GET IT OFF!" The 8-year-old Mydeimos yelped in absolute terror as the yellow winged bug flew from your finger to the tip of his nose.

You let out a laugh that your parents would have ridiculed you for. You could hear your mother's nagging voice already, "[Name], no daughter of mine can let out such an unruly sound." And of course, your father agreeing.

"Mydei, c-calm down." you managed to get out through your weezing. "You'll hurt the poor thing!" Mydei snapped back to reality as your gentle hand took back the butterfly on his face, now red from panic or embarrassment, you couldn't quite tell. Either way, he refused to meet your gaze, lips pressed into a thin, sulky line.

"You’re insufferable," he muttered, dusting off his tunic as if the butterfly had tainted it. "One day, you won’t laugh at me like that."

You tilted your head, still smiling as you cradled the delicate creature in your hands. "Why? Because you’ll finally be brave?"

His glare deepened, and for a moment, you thought he might stomp away like he usually did when you got the better of him. But instead, he huffed and turned on his heel, nose still slightly scrunched.

You watched him go, amused, before gently releasing the butterfly into the breeze. It flitted away, its bright yellow wings catching the sunlight, oblivious to the way childhood had already begun to slip through your fingers.

"I do," you said quietly as you lifted your head up for the first time during the ceremony. The golden cup was passed into your hands by the priest, who looked content with himself.

The tension only rose as you raised the cup to your lips.

Tilting your head back, the smell of the wine hit your nose a second too late, as a drop of something sinister—a sharp, metallic taste— hit your tastebuds, leaving a cold chill down your spine.

It was a small amount, but it was clear there wasn't only wine in the cup.

Poison.

The thought flashed through your mind like a fire igniting your blood. They tried to poison you.

Your vision blurred as nausea twisted in your gut, but you managed to hold back the bile rising in your throat. The air felt heavy as you sank to your knees, desperately trying to stifle the coughs that threatened to betray you.

And then, for the first time that night, your eyes locked with Mydeimos.

He stood at the altar, glowering down at you with that familiar, icy indifference. There was no panic in his gaze, no concern—only disdain, as if this was just another inconvenience he had to endure.

"Do you, Mydeimos of Castrum Kremnos accept this lady as your wife?"

Your chest tightened, and you gripped the cup in your hand, now too weak to hold it. The priest, who had been watching this unfold with an unsettling calm, crouched down beside you and gently took the unspilled cup from your hands.

He didn’t look at you, only at Mydeimos as he straightened, holding the cup up.

The room held its breath and watched Mydeimos take the cup from the priest without breaking eye contact with you.

With swiftness and no hesitance, Mydeimos downed the drink as if it was water blessed by the Gods.

"I do."

The words were a simple declaration, but they hung in the air with a heaviness that suffocated. The indifference in his tone sent a chill through your already fragile state.

You had thought you were prepared for this marriage—prepared for him—but in that moment, you realized just how little you truly knew him.

And then, the full weight of it hit you.

You had spent years preparing for this day, telling yourself that you could endure it, that duty and honor would bind you together. But now, as you struggled to keep your breath steady, barely able to keep your eyes open, you realized the truth—you were not the prize here.

You were nothing more than an afterthought.

The room swirled around you, but you could still see Mydeimos standing there, his expression unreadable, a mask of stoic indifference.

It wasn’t just the poison that made your stomach turn now. It was the realization that this man—the man who you had been promised to, who now held the power to determine your fate—did not see you, not really.

"She is yours now," the priest continued, his voice echoing through the silence. But you heard nothing. Your world had narrowed to a single, suffocating thought: He does not care.

Your gaze flicked back to him, but Mydeimos wasn’t looking at you anymore. He turned his back on you, eyes already focused on the path ahead, as though the woman who lay gasping on the floor was of no more importance than the shadows that clung to the walls.

“She couldn’t even bear a little poison!"

“Castrum Kremnos is doomed!”

Their unconcealed voices cut through you, sharp and cruel, their judgment more venomous than the poison coursing through your body. You could almost hear their sneers, see the way their eyes looked down on you, the woman who had failed even in this most basic test.

A bitter taste filled your mouth—was it the remnants of the poison, or the humiliation? The sting of failure was so much worse than anything the poison had done to you. You were nothing but a pawn in this political game, a symbol of weakness.

It was then the tears finally hit.

Mydei, now 12, watched from the training grounds as you played in the nearby open field with a Kremnoan guard dog. The usually stoic and intimidating dog was now reduced to a cheerful puppy by an 11-year-old girl, showing off his belly to you as if it was the most prized thing in the world.

And maybe to you, at that moment, it was. Mydei would agree too, as he admired the enormous smile on your face. Your laughter somehow drowned out the sound of swords clanking against each other, the sounds of men screaming 'Watch out!'

"Watch out, Mydeimos!"

Mydei broke out of his trance as a rough kick to his abdomen caused him to end up on his back. No longer the view of you playing with the dog in his eyes, but instead the ever-blue sky.

For a moment, Mydei laid still, winded, staring up at the clouds drifting lazily by. His heart was still pounding from the kick, but his mind, for a brief moment, was somewhere else. In that space between the fight and the fall, he let his gaze drift back to you, watching the way the dog nuzzled against you, the two of you sharing some unspoken bond that felt as distant to him as the sky above.

He could feel the bitterness rise within him, a mix of frustration and something he couldn’t quite name.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he watched his mentor, Krateros, signal towards the field. It was then when an abundance of guards rushed over to that very field. Some grabbed your wrists roughly and dragged you away from the training grounds. Others were quick to drag the dog away with a prong collar.

If Krateros could describe how he felt about you, he'd say indifferent. He was well aware of the planned marriage between the two of you, but having spent more time with Mydei than anyone, he knew it wasn't a good idea for the future of Castrum Kremnos. However, his pleas fell on deaf ears. The king and queen were desperate for a change, even if it went against tradition.

"Focus, Mydeimos."

"Focus Mydeimos."

Mydei snapped out of his daze at Krateros' sharp words.

"She was supposed to finish the cup of wine as your wife. You had no business intervening like that."

When Mydei ignored the words of Krateros, he took it as his sign to continue. "Do you want your own people to think of you as weak? Standing before me cannot be the same man who killed-"

"Krateros, hold your tongue."

Used to the threats hidden in his words, Krateros sighed. "My apologies, my king. What I mean is, your parents, they did not die just for their son to be reduced to a fool in love! I never agreed on the marriage between you two, and it would seem I would be correct to have thought so!"

Mydei crossed his arms, forcing his gaze to meet Krateros' own with a coldness that mirrored his father’s. "I do not need your lessons on loyalty or strength," he said, his voice steady, though a flicker of something more vulnerable threatened to show. "If you weren't such a lapdog to the throne, this all could have been avoided."

Mydei had been groomed for this position, taught to never show weakness. The weight of their bloodline, their legacy, was supposed to be carried with pride, but now, Mydei was faced with the harsh reality of the expectations placed on him.

He straightened, pushing the heaviness of those thoughts aside, feeling the pressure of those around him. He was supposed to be something else, something his parents had wanted. But this… this was not the life he had chosen.

Krateros was still watching him, waiting for a response. Mydei met his gaze with a coldness that surprised even him. “I am not a puppet, Krateros. I will never be.”

Krateros’ face darkened, but Mydei didn’t flinch. The weight of their shared history hung between them, but it was no longer enough to bind him. His destiny was his to choose, even if it meant shattering the expectations they had built for him.

“You think you can change this, don’t you?” Krateros sneered, his voice dripping with disbelief. “You think you can escape who you are. But it’s in your blood, Mydeimos. You can’t outrun what’s inside you. You can't run from the lady waiting for a change that'll never happen.”

Krateros opened his mouth to continue, but Mydei turned away, his back to the man who had watched him grow.

For the first time, Mydei wondered if Krateros even knew who he truly was—or if anyone did.

The older man had shaped him, molded him into a figure of strength and cold precision. But did Krateros truly see him? Or was he just a reflection of the expectations placed upon him, a mirror of the man his father had been, a man Mydei no longer wanted to be? Krateros had seen him grow, yes, but had he seen the boy beneath the armor? Had anyone?

You had.

Mydei chose not to think about it.

With a quiet breath, Mydei stood taller, his back still turned to Krateros. The silence stretched, but Mydei could feel the shift inside him. He wasn’t sure if it was strength or defiance, but it was something. And he wasn’t going to let it be drowned out by the weight of his bloodline, by the sharp edges of Krateros’ scorn.

“I don’t need to escape,” Mydei said quietly, but his words carried weight. “I need to find my own path.”

Mydei walked away, walked until he made it to a familiar field. One where the two of you would spend days playing, joking around with each other until night came.

This was also the same place Mydei delivered the final blow to his father, King Eurypon.

Mydei was almost 18 now, soon ready to take the throne as king and takeover all of his father's errors and debts.

Tensions were high in the royal palace. Queen Gorgo and King Eurypon have been arguing day and night. Behind the heavy wooden doors of the royal chambers, they clashed with words sharper than any sword. Every decision was met with resistance, every plan torn apart by an unyielding will that only seemed to grow more bitter with time. Castrum Kremnos was falling.

The kingdom had long been a fortress of power and tradition, but now it felt as though it was crumbling under the weight of the monarchy itself. Whispers of weakness spread like wildfire through the court, fueled by the incessant quarrels of its rulers. Their once-unified front was now shattered, each king and queen stubbornly holding to their beliefs, no matter the cost to the kingdom.

Mydeimos could feel the tension pressing down on him like a vice. He had been watching this slow unraveling for years, but now it was so blatant that even the youngest of court members could sense it. His parents, once the pillars of their nation, were becoming strangers to each other—and to him.

His mother’s harsh words and his father’s biting retorts were more frequent now, each exchange more volatile than the last. The staff had become accustomed to the constant arguments, their faces drawn in exhaustion as they tried to carry on amid a palace that was slowly becoming a war zone.

As Mydeimos walked through the corridors, he passed the guards standing at attention, their eyes flicking nervously to one another. They had always been a symbol of strength, of unwavering loyalty to the crown, but now even they seemed uneasy. The very walls of the palace seemed to pulse with the strain of something fractured, something teetering on the edge of collapse.

"Where are mother and father?" The guards all looked at each other, hesitant to answer the prince's question. It wasn't until Mydei rested a strong hand on the hilt of his sword did one answer.

"They are at the field of flowers, the one where... lady [name] usually resides."

Mydei felt something in his gut, something akin to fear, and he wanted nothing more than to rip it out of him like a true Kremnoan.

With haste, he was quick to make it to the field.

The journey, once full of laughter and joy, was now one of dread and anxiety. The closer he got, the stronger the stench of blood became. Beautiful flowers were stomped on, bloody hand prints rested on trees, and animals were scurrying away.

When he finally arrived, the sight before him tore him into pieces. You were there, cradling Queen Gorgo's body in your arms; she was barely holding onto life. It got worse as Mydei realized the reason behind her state was none other than his own father.

King Eurypon stood before the two women with his sword raised.

The last thing Mydei heard before he took action was the cruel words of the bastard King.

"I will puncture through you to put an end to this reign. I have no sympathy for the wife of the man who'll take my throne."

The words echoed in Mydeimos' ears, each syllable striking like a hammer. His heart stopped. The finality of his father’s words—the utter disregard for human life, for loyalty, for everything they had built—was too much.

And just like that, something inside Mydeimos snapped.

The rage that had been building in him for years—his silent rebellion, his frustration, his hatred for the path he had been forced to walk—exploded in an instant. His father’s face, cold and cruel, became the target of his fury. He could hear nothing but the deafening roar in his ears, the pounding of his own heart as it raced faster than reason could catch up.

Without a second thought, he lunged.

But it wasn’t the sword he raised. No, instead, it was his own hands, his own fists, that continued to strike.

"You ruined everything!" Mydeimos yelled, voice hoarse, raw with emotion. "You ruined us!"

His father’s face, contorted in shock and pain, finally shifted. "You’re nothing but a spoiled child, Mydeimos. I’ll show you what it means to rule."

In that moment, Mydeimos saw through the façade of the man who had called himself king, the man who had been nothing but a tyrant hiding behind a crown. He had never cared about his people, never cared about his family. He had only cared about power, about maintaining control at any cost. And now it was too late.

The two fought like beasts, Mydeimos with his fists and the king with his sword. The wounds inflicted on them were paid no mind; it was time to put an end to this once and for all.

Mydeimos barely registered the sting of his own wounds, the cut on his cheek or the gash on his arm. The sound of your sobs seemed to only fuel his anger. The blood was a secondary concern—he could feel it dripping down his skin, but it was nothing compared to the burning need to destroy the man who had caused all this. To destroy the symbol of everything that had broken him, broken his family, and shattered his kingdom.

The king, too, seemed to feel no pain. The blade in his hand moved with a deadly grace, despite the fury in his eyes. It was a fight of survival for him as well. He didn’t just want to kill his son; he wanted to prove that he still had power, still had control. He wasn’t going to let a young fool like Mydeimos take away his reign.

The fight stretched on, each moment a battle of wills. Mydeimos could feel his muscles burning, his body screaming for respite, but there was no turning back. Every strike from the king was an insult. Every thrust of the sword was a reminder of his father’s disdain. And yet Mydeimos could see it in the king’s eyes, that flicker of uncertainty—he was losing. His own strength was fading.

As Mydeimos stood over the king, fate seemed to laugh at him as Krateros appeared with royal guards behind him.

The shock on his face would've been laughable if under different circumstances.

With a final breath, King Eurypon's gaze shifted to Krateros. "Krateros, you will make sure my son marries that girl as Gorgo planned so many years ago."

The words, though strained, hung in the air like a sentence. Mydeimos froze, his body taut with disbelief, his pulse pounding in his ears. That girl—the one who had been nothing more than a pawn in his father’s games, a figure to be manipulated, controlled, and discarded when it suited him.

The plan had always been to bind Mydeimos to you—his wife, his kingdom’s political future, his duty to the crown. The thought of it had always been a bitter pill, but never had he imagined that it would come at the cost of everything else. His father, in his final moments, had not even offered a word of apology or remorse for the years of manipulation, the pain that had been caused by their arranged union. No, it was a cold, calculated command, one more betrayal among many.

Krateros, standing near the edge of the scene, nodded solemnly at the king’s words, his expression unreadable. His eyes shifted to Mydeimos, but there was no sympathy, no understanding. There was only the weight of duty in Krateros’ gaze. Duty to the crown, duty to the plan, duty to the legacy of the Kremnos bloodline.

“My king,” Krateros said, his voice a low murmur, almost reverent, “I will see to it.”

King Eurypon was no more.

Mydei could barely register the shouts from Krateros, telling them to leave Queen Gorgo to lay to rest. The sound of you crying as the former queen was ripped from your grasp didn't even make him flinch.

The Kremnoan guards were quick to flee, Krateros deciding to leave you and Mydei alone.

"M-Mydei," you sobbed, your voice trembling, not knowing how to reach him through the walls of fury and exhaustion that seemed to encase him. The sound of his name seemed to strike something deep within him, though it only made his fists clench tighter, as if the very mention of the old name was a reminder of all the pain, the betrayal, and the heavy burden he'd been carrying.

He didn’t speak. He couldn’t. Not yet.

The sight of you, crumpled before him, bloodied and broken, stirred something deep inside him—something fierce, something tender, something buried beneath the weight of years. But it wasn’t enough to stop the coldness in his eyes.

“I-I’m so sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely a breath. Tears spilled from your eyes, the overwhelming reality of what had happened crashing into you. “I don’t know what happened! O-oh my god, there's so much blood, I-”

The words died on your lips as the nausea hit you all at once, a sharp wave of sickness sweeping through you. Your stomach churned, and before you could do anything to stop it, you found yourself hunched over, retching in the dirt. The bile tasted bitter in your mouth, the sharp tang of it mixing with the overwhelming metallic scent of blood that lingered in the air.

Mydeimos stood there, silent, his gaze unwavering, though his jaw clenched tighter as he watched you. For a moment, it felt like everything was at a standstill. The wind seemed to hold its breath, the only sound the distant rustle of leaves, the drip of blood on the ground.

His hand twitched, but he didn’t move toward you. It was as if the space between you both had become an impenetrable wall, one that neither of you knew how to cross.

For a long, agonizing moment, Mydeimos didn’t speak. He simply watched you, as if waiting for something—perhaps an explanation, perhaps for you to offer him the closure he didn’t know he needed.

The tension stretched taut between you, but the silence remained. The world around you felt too loud, too chaotic, but Mydeimos stayed still, his breathing steady, as though he were holding something back. His expression was unreadable, impossible to decipher.

"Instead of apologizing, maybe you should focus on getting stronger and growing up."

Mydei sighed as he recalled that day. After everything had gone down, he found refuge in his father's office. That is where he read the countless letters and documents concerning the marriage between the two of you. Papers that were dated back to almost a decade ago.

The marriage between you both was confirmed from the moment you stepped foot from Styxia and into Castrum Kremnos.

“You are just as trapped as I am, aren’t you?” he muttered under his breath, though he knew you couldn’t hear him. He couldn't even be sure if you felt the same way. The distance between you two had only grown since that night. Since the bloodshed. Since that moment, everything had come crashing down. It was for the better, being close to Mydei has only brought you pain.

But still, despite the rage, the resentment, the years of manipulation, Mydeimos couldn't help but wonder—would things have been different if he had taken the time to talk to you that day? Instead of leaving you there, curled in your own warmth, trying to comfort yourself?

He shook his head, his fingers clenching around the papers, crumpling one of the letters in his grip. It doesn’t matter now,he thought bitterly. What matters is what happens next.

But the problem remained: He couldn’t just cast you aside, not when the fate of the kingdom—and his own future—hung in the balance. You were always part of the plan, whether either of us liked it or not.

And now, you were waiting for him at the very place he wished to escape from.

The room felt like a distant, hollow space—a far cry from the warmth you had once imagined a marriage bed would hold. The sheets were cold against your skin, the air thick with the emptiness of your thoughts. The flickering candlelight cast long shadows across the walls, stretching into corners that seemed to hold secrets you weren’t ready to confront.

Tradition dictated that this would be the night—your wedding night—when you were expected to share more than just vows, when the marriage would be consummated and the bond between husband and wife would be solidified. But tonight, you lay alone, your fingers tracing the edge of the cold, untouched bed. There was no Mydeimos to fill the silence, no warmth of his presence to break the quiet.

Instead, your mind drifted back to that fateful night.

All you could do was watch as Mydei turned his back on you, leaving you covered in blood that wasn't your own.

The night suddenly took a turn for the worse. One moment, you were enjoying the calming breeze, counting the stars that hung in the bright sky. A shadow loomed over you, one you thought was Mydeimos, only to make eye contact with the eyes of the king.

"K-king Eurypon, it is an honor to be in your presence." You bowed your head in greeting.

"Tell me girl, what do you think of my son?"

The question caught you off guard, but you still chose to tell the truth anyways.

"Mydei," the king's eyes glared at you, "M-mydeimos is a strong warrior. He is very hardworking and prideful. It's truly admirable."

He hummed in thought. "I'm glad you think so highly of my son. I'll be sure to tell him you held him in such high regard."

The words were barely registering in your mind as his sword was quick to be drawn and pointed against your chest.

"A shame, truly. My wife thought it would be a good idea for a marriage alliance between you two."

Marriage? And why is the king trying to murder you?!

"W-what?" You managed to stammer out. This only made the sword press deeper into your chest. "You will never be able to live up to Kremnoan traditions and strength. You will only bring my son and this already fallen kingdom to hell."

It was then when Eurypon struck down with his sword, and it would've been the end of you if another sword hadn't come down to block the strike.

"Even now, you still are fighting against me, Gorgo?"

There in front of you, was none other than the queen.

"Eurypon, this is not how to go about business matters. Killing the girl will not solve all of our problems."

Eurypon and Gorgo had very opposing views with the alliance of Styxia. Eurypon wanted to take over by force, like a true Kremnoan. Gorgo sought other means, wanting less bloodshed and a possible connection with Styxia. Gorgo wanted connections, Eurypon wanted land.

"Gorgo, do you need a reminder of how a king rules his people?"

The two fought endlessly, and all the pressure that built up over time came out in their fierce battle. All you could do was watch as Gorgo began to weaken, her body falling pathetically in front of you.

She paid the king no mind; instead, her fading eyes focused on you. "I...I know you will bring good to my kingdom, to my son."

"Gorgo, I will make sure the two get married as your dying wish. The kingdom you brought to power will fall because of you, and I'll be there to fix it all my way."

It was then that another person came into view, a heartbroken Mydeimos who slained the king. Later, it was a shocked Krateros who took the queen from your hold.

The end of a reign and the start of a tragedy.

You didn’t know how to feel. Grateful or embarrassed? Humiliated, even. You were still his wife (once childhood friend), but it felt like you didn’t even exist to him anymore. Not since that night. The night that had changed everything between the two of you.

Your chest tightened at the memory—the chaos, the violence, the words left unsaid. That night had burned itself into your mind in a way you couldn’t forget, no matter how much you tried to block it out. His eyes had been cold, distant, filled with a rage and grief you didn’t know how to reach through. You hadn’t spoken since, not really. Not the way you used to. You couldn’t even recall the last conversation you had before everything fell apart.

A soft sigh escaped your lips, and you pulled the blanket tighter around you, hoping it would offer you some comfort against the chill that had settled in your heart. The silence seemed to stretch forever, the weight of it heavier than anything you had felt before.

You couldn't help but wonder if this was how it would always be—if the distance between you and Mydeimos was something that couldn’t be undone.

A soft sigh escaped your lips, and you pulled the blanket tighter around you, hoping it would offer you some comfort against the chill that had settled in your heart. The silence seemed to stretch forever, the weight of it heavier than anything you had felt before.

The once-familiar castle felt nothing more than a dreading curse on your soul. Halls where you would spend chasing around the young prince were now full of laughter and insults.

You couldn't help but wonder if this was how it would always be—if the distance between you and Mydeimos was something that couldn’t be undone.

As sleep was finally about to take over, the door slammed open and an angry Mydei stormed in.

He seemed shocked to see you actually there, his eyes silently saying 'so you didn't run away?'

The maids had dressed you in the finest of red silks, a color they said their king enjoyed. But in this moment, it seemed he didn't even want to look at you.

Your mind stumbled over a greeting, scared to say the wrong thing and scared that your voice would still be hoarse from the poison. None of that mattered as he took the initiative to speak. "I will be heading off to war in a few days. There is no need to see me off."

The silence between you was suffocating, thick with all the things neither of you were willing to acknowledge. You longed to break it, to ask him why, to demand an explanation for the way he was shutting you out, but the truth was, you were afraid of the answer. And even more, you were terrified of the way you might look to him now—the woman who had failed him, who had failed to be the wife he needed, who was now only a shadow in his life.

You shifted on your feet, the cold weight of the silence pressing harder with every passing second.

"I... I understand," you finally managed to say, your voice barely a whisper, betraying how broken you really felt. "I’ll... I’ll respect your wishes."

Mydei turned to leave, but just before the door closed, you heard him.

"Don't follow me." His voice was so quiet it almost seemed like an afterthought, but the command within it was unmistakable. It wasn’t harsh, but it wasn’t gentle, either. It was the final word, the one that sealed the distance between you both.

With that, he shut the door.

During these past days, you didn't leave the room once. You aren't sure where Mydeimos has been or if he has already gone off to war. The maids were kind enough to bring you food, but you were cautious to eat it after the poisoned wine.

The meals sat untouched on the small table by the window, cooling and growing stale. You were hungry, but fear held you back. Fear of what the food might hold, of what new betrayal could come from the very people who should have protected you.

As the days passed, your body began to feel the effects of the isolation—weakness in your limbs, a constant dull ache in your chest. The silence in the room became unbearable. You had become a ghost in your own life, tethered to the bed by your own insecurities, trapped in a room full of memories that both comforted and tormented you.

It wasn't long before rumors started to spread around the castle.

"The Kremnoan soldiers last weeks without a proper meal, and that invader can't last a few days?"

"She's probably trying make our king pity her."

"Does she not know we Kremnoans have no room for pity?"

"I heard, on the night of their wedding, she seduced one of the guards and bedded him. That's why King Mydeimos looked so frustrated!"

It was endless chatter happening outside of your door, the rumors you heard were absurd, and it almost made you cry a few times.

Everything about this situation was so frustrating! You had no one to talk to; sure, the maids were nice, but they loved to partake in all the gossip. You weren't even able to find comfort in your parents, who put you in this mess in the first place.

All you could do was stare out the window and wish for better days.

Even today, the commotion happening outside was nauseating. Cheers and screams of triumph were heard all over, and you couldn't help but be curious.

With a peek outside, you witnessed the ginormous army of Castrum Kremnos being led by no other than Mydeimos himself.

He was going off to war today.

The banners of Castrum Kremnos billowed in the wind, the rhythmic stomp of soldiers’ boots shaking the very ground beneath them.

The people cheered, their voices rising in a deafening roar of admiration and loyalty. To them, this was a moment of pride—of power. To you, it was something else entirely.

Your fingers curled against the windowsill as you watched him from the safety of your prison, your place in his life now reduced to that of a silent observer.

Your heart twisted painfully.

You should have been down there. You should have been by his side.

But Mydeimos had made it clear—Don’t follow me.

And so you stayed, trapped behind glass, watching the man you once knew disappear into the distance, leading an army to war.

All you could do was ask yourself why?

Why did he leave you alone that day? Why didn't he let you explain everything that happened?

Why did he shut you out?

Maybe it was because of everything piling up, but you couldn't bear to look outside the castle window anymore. It was a tragedy, a tragedy that could've been avoided if he had just listened to you.

But maybe his anger towards you was valid?

The thought unsettled you, but you couldn't deny some of the truth behind it. After all, you were the woman forced into his life, a foreign queen whom his people despised.

After all, you were his father's dying wish, the man he hated most.

You turned your back to the window, missing the way Mydei spared a glance at the highest window on the castle; missing you.

The night Mydeimos left was one celebrated. Everyone knew he and his army were going to obtain an easy victory, so they celebrated with the most delicious alcohols and foods.

You, however, found no comfort in their revelry.

Seated at the far end of the grand dining hall, you felt like a ghost in your own castle. No one paid you any mind—not the lords who clinked their goblets in toasts, nor the noblewomen whispering behind painted fans. You were nothing but a reminder of an unwanted union, a foreign queen with no real place in their hearts.

You felt grateful; it took a lot of courage to even come out in the first place.

The wine before you remained untouched. The food, no matter how enticing, held no appeal. You felt sick, not from the lingering fear of poison, but from the weight of isolation pressing on your chest.

"Ah, this is the King's wife? How weak." A group of scholars in the corner decided to be the first to interact with you tonight, albeit negatively.

"She's meek, but her looks surpass the brutes of Kremnoan women." Another one snickered out.

"Tell us, wife, how did your first night with the King go?" This caught the attention of the rest of the patrons in the room.

"Is it true he's as ruthless in bed as he is in battle?" A lady, one who you remember laughing at the wedding, asked intrusively.

"I-"

"Didn't you hear? She was unable to get him to enter the room! She had to go find a guard to take care of her harlot needs."

"That's not what..!"

Before you could even finish your sentence, the group of men glared at you, as if daring you to speak up.

"You need to be confident in your abilities." A 16-year-old Mydei said to you. "If you sound confident, people will naturally believe it."

You sighed. "Mydei, I don't think it'll matter how hard I try. I'm not a Kremnoan, just some girl her parents sent here so they wouldn't have to be responsible for me."

Mydei let out a deep chuckle.

"You think that's all you are?" he asked, shaking his head with something close to amusement. "You underestimate yourself."

His confidence in you was almost laughable. You gave him a skeptical look, crossing your arms. "And what am I, then? Some grand strategist? A warrior in disguise?"

He leaned in slightly, the moonlight casting sharp shadows across his face. "You are someone who can shape the world with nothing but your words—if you learn how to use them properly."

You blinked at him, taken aback by his certainty. Mydei was never one to sugarcoat things, and he certainly wouldn’t say something just to spare your feelings.

"Confidence is half the battle," he continued, arms folded. "If you say something with conviction, even the gods might start to believe it."

For a brief moment, you almost believed him.

You brushed off his words with a laugh. "I have you with me, and I know you'll never let any harm come to me." Although you said it jokingly, you both knew it was the truth.

How laughable.

"That's not what happened that night. You all are so concerned in the king's business and involving him in such baseless rumors. Is this how you act while he's out there fighting for us all?"

There was a wavering in your voice, one even you couldn't deny, but it was enough to stun them all into silence. The once lively air was now tense and awkward.

With a clear of your throat, you excused yourself for the night.

As you stepped away, the weight of their stares clung to you like a phantom touch. You could still hear the hushed whispers behind you, muffled by the clinking of goblets and the distant melody of a lute. They wouldn’t dare speak louder, not after the way you had silenced them.

But had you truly silenced them? Or had you only made yourself a greater target?

Your hands trembled slightly as you pushed open the heavy wooden doors to your chambers, the warmth of the grand hall replaced by the biting chill of isolation. You barely made it to the vanity before gripping its edges, trying to steady yourself.

You had spoken with confidence, just as Mydei once told you to. Yet, your voice had wavered.

Would that be enough for them to see through you?

With a heavy sigh, you turned toward the mirror, searching your own reflection for something—anything—that resembled the queen you were supposed to be.

But all you saw was a girl trapped in a place that would never truly be hers.

Sleep came a bit easier that night.

The morning was full of regrets as the door to your chambers was nailed shut.

You pulled and slammed against it but to no avail. You heard the snickers as people passed by, and the tears began to fall.

The laughter outside was distant now, their amusement fading as they moved on, leaving you alone with your humiliation.

You wiped at your tears angrily, hating how easily they fell. This was what they wanted—to break you, to remind you of your place, to make sure you knew you were nothing more than an outsider playing queen in a kingdom that would never be yours.

But would Mydeimos find out?

Would he even care?

A bitter taste filled your mouth at the thought. You turned away from the sealed door, your body shaking with something far stronger than sorrow.

If they thought this would make you cower, they were wrong.

Your breathing evened out as you forced yourself to stand tall. If they thought this was enough to break you, they underestimated you.

You turned from the door, scanning the room for anything—anything at all—that could help. The windows were too high, the furniture too heavy to use for leverage. You were trapped like an animal in a cage, but you refused to let yourself feel like one.

Instead, you paced.

Minutes turned into hours, the once-dim light of morning stretching into the harsh glow of midday. The laughter outside had long faded, replaced by the distant hum of daily life in the palace. As if nothing had happened. As if you weren’t locked away, forgotten.

A sudden sound startled you—a soft rustling from the door. Your heart pounded as you turned, half-expecting a cruel trick. But then, a shadow moved just from under the crack in the door.

A quiet knock, and then the sound of something being slammed against the door.

It was scary, and it caused you to take cautious step-backs.

One final slam, and the door busted open.

"Krateros?" You said in utmost shock. You remember your few interactions with him, all very brief. The last time you'd seen him, he was at Mydei’s side, whispering words of war and legacy into his ear.

Krateros stood in the doorway, his broad frame casting a shadow over your trembling form. His dark eyes swept the room before settling on you, unreadable as ever.

"You look surprised," he muttered, stepping inside without invitation. His boots left faint imprints on the rug, damp from the evening chill. "Did you think they'd just leave you here to rot?"

You swallowed hard, your back pressing against the far wall. “I—” You didn't even know what to say, because honestly, yes you did believe that.

"As much as I believe you aren't fit as queen, I... made a promise that night. Before the queen fully passed."

Your heart skipped a beat at the mention of that night. The one where everything had fallen apart, where Mydei's father had been killed, where the weight of duty had been thrust onto both your shoulders, though neither of you had truly chosen it.

"What promise?" Your voice barely rose above a whisper. The chill in the room seemed to deepen as you tried to comprehend his words.

Krateros’ eyes softened, just for a moment. It was a fleeting glimpse, quickly masked by his usual hardened demeanor. He crossed the room toward you, the air between you heavy with tension.

"The queen," he began, his voice a rare softness, "she... asked me to ensure you weren’t left to suffer in silence. That you were given the chance to survive."

"I couldn't give her a quick enough response before she passed, so to be quite honest, I never felt indebted to her... to you."

He avoided your eyes.

"But I spoke with Mydeimos recently." Your body visibly tensed at the mention of his name. "There's no changing his mind," Krateros had a fond look in his eyes.

"If you want to be more than a puppet queen, then you’ll need to change. Prove to these people that you have teeth, not just a crown," Krateros said, his words heavy with a cold truth.

You wanted to protest, to scream that you hadn’t asked for this role, that you’d never wanted to be a pawn in a game you couldn’t even understand. But Krateros wasn’t wrong.

"I’m not… I’m not like them," you said, the words escaping before you could stop them. "I can’t just… pretend to be someone I’m not."

Krateros raised an eyebrow. "No one expects you to pretend, but right now, you're invisible. And in this world, that’s worse than being hated."

ou flinched, the truth of his words stinging more than you cared to admit.

"And as for Mydeimos…" He paused, as though considering how much to reveal. "He doesn’t want a queen who’s meek, who lets herself be shut away. He wants power. And you—" Krateros’ eyes flicked to your face, sharp and calculating, "—you need to show him you can wield it."

Your mind spun with the idea. Could you do this? Could you become the queen the kingdom demanded, even if it meant losing yourself in the process? Or perhaps—just perhaps—you could reclaim something from this mess and turn it into something of your own.

"Yes... You're right. I need to survive because I..." I miss my friend is what you wanted to say but left quiet.

Krateros took a step closer, his gaze never leaving yours. There was a calculating coldness in his eyes, but beneath it, something more dangerous lingered. It wasn’t kindness, but something akin to respect, or perhaps something more manipulative.

"If you want to prove your worth, start by helping in this war."

His words were a bit of an eye-opener; you had no idea who Mydeimos was even fighting or why. If you were able to help someway, it'll be perfect. "With all due respect sir, I don't think I'm fit for fighting." You couldn't help but shy away.

Krateros’ lips curled into a smirk at your hesitation, his eyes scanning you with something akin to amusement. "No one’s asking you to wield a sword, Your Majesty. But you’re smart enough to know there are other ways to contribute. War isn’t just about fighting on the frontlines. It’s about strategy, influence, and knowing how to manipulate the forces around you. Your place in this war isn’t on a battlefield, but in the court, in the strategy rooms, and with the people who can sway the outcome."

You swallowed hard, the weight of his words pressing down on you. Strategy. Influence. Those were things you’d never thought of in relation to yourself, and yet, here they were, suddenly thrust upon you.

"But I—" you started, but Krateros cut you off with a sharp gesture of his hand, his eyes darkening.

"You’re not a helpless pawn, [Name]. If you want to survive, you need to learn how to play the game. And that means you need to start thinking like the Kremnoans do." His voice was low, firm, almost a growl. "Every action has a purpose. Every word spoken in court, every ally made or broken. You need to learn how to use them all to your advantage."

"I’ll do it," you said quietly, more to yourself than to him. "I’ll learn."

Krateros nodded approvingly, the faintest trace of something—satisfaction, perhaps?—glimmering in his eyes. "Good. You’re starting to understand. Freshen up and meet me in the library in approximately 5 minutes."

Your eyes widened. "5 minutes? Is that even enough time to...!" Krateros was already out the door.

You rushed to the mirror, hastily brushing through your hair and adjusting your clothes. A queen. You need to look the part. But the rush, the pressure—it felt like everything was moving too quickly.

You didn't even have time to catch your breath as you pushed open the door and hurried toward the library. You had no idea what Krateros had planned for you there, but you knew it wouldn't be anything easy. It never was with him.

When you arrived, you found the massive wooden doors already slightly ajar. Taking a deep breath, you stepped inside. The room was as imposing as ever, shelves filled with scrolls, books, and maps, the air thick with the scent of parchment and ink. Krateros stood by a long table, his back to you as he perused a map laid out before him.

"Right on time, good."

You finally managed to let out the breath you were holding in.

He finally turned to face you, his gaze sharp. "Sit."

You hesitated for a moment before doing as instructed. Krateros slid the map over to you, revealing the territories and borders of Castrum Kremnos, marked with different symbols and annotations.

"Start here," he said, tapping a red X near the southern border. "This is where we’ll be focusing our efforts. A new alliance is forming in the region called Pixara, and we need to decide how to handle it."

Your gaze flicked to the map, uncertainty creeping in. "But... how can I—"

"You're not here to question," Krateros cut you off sharply. "You're here to learn, to make decisions. I'll guide you, but you have to think like a ruler. Think about the people, the stakes. And then, decide what the best course of action is."

"Now, I want your opinion. What do you think we should do? You've been in Castrum Kremnos long enough, it's about time you started learning how things work around here." Krateros pressed, his gaze unwavering. "How do we deal with this new alliance? How do we defeat Pixara?"

"From the perspective of a Kremnoan, charging in and defeating them would be their first choice. A quick and easy slaughter. Though I..." you thought back to all the letters sent from your mom, teachings she was too lazy to do in person. "We could negotiate with them, offer an alliance of our own—one that strengthens us both. Or... we could play them against each other, cause dissent, and let them destroy themselves."

The air in the library felt heavier, more suffocating now. You could feel Krateros' gaze on you, his silence pressing down like a weight. You’d spoken, given him your answer, and now you had to prove that you could handle the consequences of those words.

Krateros stepped closer, running a finger along the edge of the map. His voice was low, calculating. "I like your idea. Playing them against each other will keep us in a position of power, but it’s a dangerous game. We’ll need more than just words. We’ll need spies, alliances of our own, and a very sharp eye for deception."

He paused, allowing his words to hang in the air like a threat. You felt your palms begin to sweat. This was it. This was where you either sank or swam.

"And you'll need to be careful," Krateros added, his eyes finally locking with yours. "You don't have the luxury of hesitation. They won’t wait for you to make up your mind. If you hesitate, they’ll tear you apart."

His words struck like a slap, and you flinched involuntarily. "I understand," you managed, your voice steadier than you felt.

He nodded. "Good. We’ll begin at once. First, you need to learn the geography of Amphoreus and history of Pixara. Then, you'll need to meet with the generals and get a grasp on the situation. Learn everything you can about our current position. Finally, we’ll start making moves."

You nodded quickly, wanting to appear confident, even though your mind was racing. Become more aware and educated. Meet with the generals. Get a grasp on the situation. The task was daunting, but it was the only way forward.

Krateros’s eyes narrowed, his lips curving into a slight smirk. "Don't forget what you've learned here, [Name]. Your position is tenuous at best. You’re not just representing yourself anymore. You represent Kremnos."

Your first task—Pixara's geography and history. It was a daunting start, but you had to begin at the root of the problem. Why was this alliance forming in the first place?

The library felt even more overwhelming than before. Rows upon rows of ancient tomes lined the walls, each one seemingly a gateway to a piece of the puzzle you needed to solve. You glanced at the high shelves, the vast collection of knowledge all at your disposal. But where to begin?

You pulled down one of the books labeled History of the War Between Nations, and the sheer weight of it felt like a burden. You flipped it open, eyes scanning the pages, trying to piece together the history of Kremnos and its wars with neighboring kingdoms. As the hours passed, the words began to blur together, the names and dates sinking into a fog. The more you read, the more questions you had.

Who could be trusted? Which alliances were real? Where had the kingdom gone wrong?

And what could I possibly do to fix any of this?

It was then an idea hit you: You were still a royal from Styxia, they could join us!

The reason for Kremnos's alliance with Styxia—and why they wanted to secure your marriage to Mydeimos—wasn't just about the kingdom’s internal strength. It was about survival.

From what you gathered, Kremnos had once been a much larger power, holding dominion over vast stretches of land, but it had splintered over the centuries, weakened by betrayal and constant war. The neighboring kingdom of Styxia had always been a threat, a kingdom rich with soldiers and political influence, but the alliance was not born out of mutual respect. It was born out of necessity.

Kremnos needed Styxia’s resources, its warriors, and its sheer manpower to maintain any semblance of power in Amphoreus. And Styxia needed Kremnos for access to the trade routes, the wealth, and the stability of a larger kingdom. Now, they had what they wanted through the marriage of you and Mydeimos; it was about time they paid you back.

And so, your first step was writing a letter to your mother back in Styxia.

To My Beloved Mother,

I trust this letter finds you well, as it is my hope that this message will carry more weight than mere pleasantries.

I am reaching out to you, Mother, because it is time to ask for what I need in return. Styxia must come to my aid—not through direct intervention, but through resources, information, and political maneuvering. I need Styxia’s support in securing my place here as a force to be reckoned with, both to stabilize this kingdom and to help guide Mydeimos toward becoming the ruler this land needs.

With all the respect I can muster,

[Name] Queen of Castrum Kermnos.

The days following the letter’s dispatch were filled with tense anticipation. Every moment felt like a countdown, but you had no idea when the reply would come. Krateros was still helping you and making sure you were actually eating.

You had done all you could for now—sending a message to Styxia and beginning your education on Kremnos’ geography, history, and its position in the war. Krateros’s demand to meet with the generals was still looming, but there was no immediate need to rush into that; for now, you kept busy with what you could control.

The knock on your door broke through your spiraling thoughts, and you quickly stood, adjusting your posture to appear composed. You didn’t have the luxury of weakness anymore.

"Enter," you called, voice steady.

The door creaked open, revealing one of the castle’s servants holding a sealed letter.

"Your Majesty," she said, bowing low as she extended the letter.

Your heart skipped a beat. The seal was unmistakable—it was from Styxia.

Without a word, you took it from her hands, immediately breaking the wax seal. You read through the contents quickly, your eyes widening as you absorbed the information within.

Your hands clenched around the letter as you processed its contents. The message was clear: Styxia had granted you their conditional support.

You had no time to waste. The war, the generals, the people—they all awaited a queen who could lead them.

The next steps were clear now. You would prepare to meet with the generals and gather the information Krateros had insisted you understand. You would learn every detail about the war—what they were fighting for, who the enemy was, and where the key strategic points were.

The next morning, you dressed in a simple yet authoritative gown, forgoing the luxurious silks that you were once adorned with. You needed to prove yourself capable, not just of ruling in the shadows, but as someone worthy of standing in the light. Your expression was set with determination as you stepped out of your chambers, ready to face the generals.

The long walk through the palace halls felt longer than it should have. Every step echoed, as if the palace itself was waiting for you to take action. As you arrived at the war room, the heavy wooden doors loomed ahead, guarded by two sentries.

"Your Majesty," one of them greeted, opening the door without hesitation. You nodded and entered, only to be met with the steely gazes of several high-ranking generals. They were older, grizzled men, some of whom had seen more battles than they would care to count. But their respect was not given freely.

At the far end of the room, General Mavros, an older man with a thick beard and scarred face, looked up from a map sprawled across the table. His gaze shifted to you, and despite his age and experience, there was a visible flicker of surprise in his eyes.

"Your Majesty," he began, his voice a mixture of authority and curiosity. "To what do we owe this honor?"

"I’ve come to understand the situation in full," you said, your voice steady, clear. "I’ve come to see how I can help lead this war."

Mavros raised an eyebrow but said nothing, waiting for you to continue.

"I want to know everything," you demanded. "The enemy, our positions, our strengths and weaknesses. All of it. I intend to be involved. I will not be a queen in name alone."

The next few hours were a blur of information, names of enemy factions, strategic locations, and key battles. The complexities of war unfolded in front of you as Mavros and the other generals taught you what they knew—about the landscape, the movements of enemy armies, and the politics of the other factions involved.

It was then you suggested your idea of tearing them apart from the inside. Plant a mole, spread misinformation, and make them surrender.

Krateros, who had remained in the background up to this point, stepped forward, his eyes calculating. "It’s bold. But it’s also risky. The enemy could catch on quickly, and if they do, we’ll be exposed as the ones responsible. We need to be careful with this approach."

"That is where my home kingdom comes into play. Styxia will be our alibi."

"Explain," Mavros said, his tone all business now.

You stood straighter, your confidence solidifying. "Styxia, my homeland, has a history with the neighboring kingdom we're fighting. They’ve always wanted influence in Amphoreus, and as a result, they’re often suspected of meddling in its affairs. We can use that suspicion to our advantage. By making it look like Styxia is supporting the enemy, we can feed into their paranoia and create division within their ranks."

You could see the generals begin to process what you were proposing. Krateros’s gaze flickered with recognition, while Mavros’s calculating expression told you he was considering the broader implications.

"We don’t need them to know we're involved directly. If Styxia's name is associated with the unrest, the enemy will begin to doubt every move their allies make. They’ll turn on each other, without us ever lifting a sword."

Krateros, ever the skeptic, crossed his arms. "But Styxia would never commit to such an act openly. If we move forward with this, we’ll need to make sure they’re kept in the dark. Their involvement must be only implied, and that requires finesse."

"That's why our mole is essential," you replied, stepping forward. "We can use Styxia's reputation as a shield. The rumors can start with someone who has a connection to the kingdom, someone with the knowledge to plant seeds of doubt. This way, Styxia can remain unaware, and our position won't be compromised."

"Let’s not waste any time," you said, your voice firm. "The longer we wait, the more chances they have to uncover our plan. Let’s set this into motion immediately."

Mavros looked to the others, who gave a quiet nod of agreement. "We move quickly, then. This could be the turning point we’ve been waiting for."

Another warrior was slain by the hands of Mydeimos. It was never-ending at this point. A week into battle and Pixara has yet to yield.

It wasn't that Castrum Kremnos was weak by any means, but Pixara had numbers. Numbers that shouldn't be possible for a newer alliance.

It was clear to Mydeimos that Pixara had underground connections. Connections to kingdoms that most likely wanted to witness the fall of Castrum Kremnos.

It was then that an argument broke out amidst battle between warriors on the opposing side. "What are you saying? Styxia was never promised to us! We're fighting for bigger kingdoms than that!"

"You fool! Styxia and Castrum Kremnos are relying on each other now! If we take down one, we get the other!"

"Then why are we even fighting? King Mydeimos and his wife don't even get along! She'll give us their powers without all this bloodshed!"

"Where did you hear such rumors!?"

The argument between the warriors grew louder, their voices sharp and accusatory, as if the tensions on the battlefield were not enough to contend with. In the midst of the chaos, the clatter of swords and shields drowned out the shouts of their own comrades.

One of the warriors, his armor dented and worn from the heat of the battle, spat out, "You think too highly of yourself. If Styxia were truly so eager to abandon Kremnos, they would've done it by now! But they haven’t. They’re still dependent on us, just like we’re dependent on them."

Another voice, thick with disbelief, responded, "Don’t be so naïve. You don’t understand the politics of it all. It’s not about kingdoms anymore—it’s about survival. Mydeimos' wife—what a joke. She’s as much of a pawn as anyone. When she takes control, the entire balance of power will shift. Kremnos will fall. Styxia will take the reins.”

The first blow came suddenly, without warning. A crazed, bloodied warrior, his face twisted with exhaustion and frustration, swung his sword at the nearest comrade. The strike was wild, driven not by skill, but by pure desperation.

The clang of steel hitting steel echoed across the battlefield, and for a brief moment, the fighting halted, the warriors around him looking at one another in confusion.

"What are you doing?" someone shouted, trying to back away from the escalating madness. "If you keep this up, Pixara will fall! All of our effort, all our resources!"

But the man, his eyes wide and unseeing, didn’t answer. He was too far gone, the madness of battle overtaking his sanity. His sword came down again, this time finding its mark in the chest of another warrior, sending him crashing to the ground with a pained scream.

The shout of alarm spread quickly. “Traitor! He’s lost his mind!”

Mydeimos signaled for his warriors to fall back.

His warriors hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to follow orders or try to salvage what was left of the frenzied battle. But the sight of Mydeimos—calm, collected, his expression stone cold—was enough to sway them. Slowly, they pulled back, retreating from the chaos unfolding behind them.

The battlefield, once a chorus of clashing swords and battle cries, fell into a grim silence, punctuated only by the ragged breaths of the fallen and the distant cries of those still fighting amongst themselves.

Mydeimos surveyed the scene, his jaw clenched in frustration. His eyes scanned the disarray—the scattered bodies, the warriors who had once been allies, now locked in confusion and violence against one another.

"Pathetic," he muttered under his breath, his fists tightening. "With the diverse group of nations in this alliance, opinions were bound to be different. But this?" His voice rose in disgust. "This is the end of unity, the end of purpose."

"Today, my army, we witness the fall of the weak known as Pixara!" Mydeimos shouted with a raise of his sword.

"We are Kremnoans! And we will never fall to these cowards!"

The battle cries that followed were fierce, loud, and unrelenting. The warriors surged forward once more, and with Mydeimos at their helm, they began to push back the disarrayed forces of Pixara. His eyes were focused, his mind calculating. This time, it was different. The defeat would be decisive. The rebels would feel the weight of their disobedience.

He'll be back home sooner than expected.

The news of their army's victory spread around Castrum Kremnos quickly, many were preparing for the return of the warriors excitedly.

You were also finally starting to be seen and respected as good word began to circuit about your participation in the small war.

You hadn’t truly expected it. You had been preparing for failure, even as you worked tirelessly behind the scenes. But now, as the whispers grew louder, you couldn’t deny the shift. You were no longer just the wife of Mydeimos, the one who had been thrust into a kingdom full of political intrigue and turmoil. No, now you were beginning to be seen as an asset, someone who could hold her own.

The palace felt different now. People greeted you with more respect, the once-dismissive looks were replaced with nods of acknowledgment. Some even approached you with suggestions, offering advice that seemed more like an invitation to join the ranks of those who would guide the future of Kremnos.

Your mind, though, was still occupied with Mydeimos.

What would Mydeimos say when he returned? Would he see your involvement in the war as a sign of your loyalty, or would it further estrange you both? Would this newfound respect be enough to create the change you desperately needed?

There was only one way to find out.

A few days later, the army returned with their king.

People lined the streets, their faces a mix of joy, curiosity, and anticipation. It was clear this victory meant more than just a battle won—it was a declaration of power, a symbol of the strength Castrum Kremnos now wielded, and a glimpse into what the future could hold.

Mydeimos was leading them; there was something in the way he looked at the crowds that made your stomach twist. It wasn’t joy or triumph in his eyes; it was a quiet, brooding intensity, as if the weight of the kingdom’s expectations, the loyalty of his people, and the complexities of his reign were bearing down on him all at once.

It wasn't until late into the night, when you were up walking around the now familar castle, when a hand came out of a room and yanked you inside.

The door slammed shut behind you, and for a moment, everything was still—silent and suffocating.

Your eyes adjusted to the low light, and before you could speak, you heard a voice.

"Don't make a sound," Mydeimos’ voice commanded, harsh and firm. It was the first time in weeks you’d heard it so close, so raw. His presence in the room felt almost like a storm, unpredictable.

He released his grip on your arm, and you took a step back, your pulse still racing. "Mydeimos, what—?"

"I told you not to speak," he snapped.

Mydeimos’ gaze softened for just a fraction of a second, though it was fleeting. "You think I don’t know what you’ve been doing? The whispers around the court… the way they look at you now."

Your stomach dropped. "I only—"

"I don’t care what you’ve been trying to do." 

Your nervousness was quick to turn into anger.

It was as if the weight of everything that had happened—every word unsaid, every action, every betrayal—had been building up inside you, and now, finally, it was spilling over.

"You think you can just walk in here after everything, after everything that's happened, and still treat me like this?"

Mydei looked shocked before his brows furrowed, but you didn't give him time to speak.

"You left me at the altar; you left me without saying goodbye before heading into a war! Y-you even left me that night when all we had was each other!"

Your chest heaved with every breath, and the tears, which you had been holding back for so long, began to threaten. But you wouldn't let them fall. Not now.

"I wondered what I did wrong for so long! I just wanted my friend back. I wanted to be there for you after the fall of your parents! I just thought you'd need me the way I need you..."

You couldn't help the tears from falling now.

For a long moment, there was silence, broken only by the pounding of your own heartbeat in your ears. Mydei looked at you, his face unreadable, but you could see the flicker of something—guilt, remorse, maybe even regret.

Finally, he spoke, his voice strained. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"You did a terrible job, Mydeimos!"

Your anger seemed to rub off on him now. "Could you stop calling me Mydeimos! To you, I am your Mydei!" He was damn near growling now, an animalistic look in his eyes. "Did you ever stop being selfish for one second and think about the consequences of us being so close?"

"Selfish? You're calling me selfish?"

"[Name], let me finish talking." He wasn't asking, and with the look in his eyes, you knew it'd be best to be quiet.

"I did what I had to do," Mydei continued, his tone low, laced with frustration and something darker—resentment, maybe. "I didn’t want to push you away. But we’re not children anymore. We’re not playing games. Every choice I made, every move I made, it wasn’t for me, it was for this damn kingdom, for Kremnos, for us, whether you understand it or not."

His fists clenched, the muscles in his jaw working as if he were restraining himself from saying more. His eyes never left yours, dark and intense, the emotions running so deep beneath the surface.

"You don’t get it," he muttered, almost to himself, his voice thick with bitter frustration. "You think I’ve been selfish? You think this is easy for me?" His breath hitched, and there was a flicker of something vulnerable in his gaze before he quickly masked it again. "I’ve been carrying this weight, this burden, all by myself. And I didn’t want you to have any part in it. That night in the field... I saw what my people, my own father, were capable of. It haunted me every night, seeing you like that, holding my mother's deceased corpse."

"Then... the marriage actually happened, and I knew there was no way for either of us out of it."

Your heart clenched, the venom in his words stinging more than you expected. Hell that’s coming... You didn’t want to ask him to explain. You didn’t want to know the details of his world, of the decisions he had to make. But you couldn’t help it.

"Is that why you avoided me? Because you thought it would keep me safe? Because you thought I couldn’t handle it?"

His eyes softened, just for a moment, before the harshness returned. "I left because I thought you deserved better. I thought you could have a life without the weight of this kingdom crushing you. Without being tangled in my mess. But maybe I was wrong about that."

You stepped back, your hands trembling, unsure if you wanted to hear more or if the truth was too much.

"Maybe you’re wrong about everything," you whispered, barely able to hold back the tears. "You don’t get to decide what’s best for me. You don’t get to keep me in the dark while you fight your battles and make your choices."

Mydei’s expression shifted—something flickered in his eyes. Regret? Sorrow? "I didn’t want to make those choices alone."

"You think you can fix this? After everything?" you asked, your voice trembling, raw with emotion. "What do you want from me, Mydei? After all this time, after everything you’ve put me through?"

He didn’t answer right away, his gaze searching yours as if trying to find the words.

Finally, he spoke, his voice quieter, more uncertain. "I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. I just know I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to keep running away from you."

You let his hand touch your face. "I heard about everything you did to help us, me, come home. It made me think about how much stronger you actually are. I... regretted making you rely on me so much as kids. You could have always been a strong leader if I had just given you the chance. If I let you adapt to life here instead of trying to seclude you from it."

Mydei’s expression softened, his thumb gently brushing away a stray tear that had fallen down your cheek. There was a quiet sincerity in his eyes now, a vulnerability that he rarely allowed anyone to see. He took a deep breath, as if gathering the courage to say something more.

"I’ve been so scared of losing you," he confessed, his voice tight. "But maybe... maybe I’ve already lost us, in some way. Maybe we’ll never be what we once were."

You shook your head, stepping closer to him, your heart pounding. "We don’t have to be what we were, Mydei. We can be something else. We can start again—slowly, but together. If you’ll let me in again."

"We can be different from your parents; we don't have to end in tragedy."

He paused, his eyes searching yours as if weighing his options, as if the weight of his past mistakes was heavier than the future he could possibly have with you.

After a long, tense silence, he nodded, the corners of his lips lifting slightly. "I want to try," he murmured, his voice barely audible. "I want to try with you. If you’ll have me."

You took a deep breath, your chest tight with all the emotions you had been holding onto for so long. "I’ll have you, Mydei. But you have to promise me something. Promise me that we won’t hide from this anymore. Promise me we’ll face whatever comes together, no matter how hard it gets."

His grip on your face tightened slightly, a silent vow in his eyes. "I promise. No more running away."

You smiled. "No more running? Not even from a pretty butterfly that lands on your nose?"

Mydei's once longing face turned into one of annoyance. "You cannot be serious."

The look on his face made you laugh even harder; his scowl, which was usually threatening, felt like looking at a puppy. "If you had something randomly land on your nose, would you not freak out?"

With your laughter dying down, Mydei looked lovingly at you. He missed this.

"Not as much as you, that's for sure."

Mydei let out a 'hmph' as he grabbed your chin with his hand, forcing your eyes to meet his. "W-what are you..!"

He leaned in gently, placing a soft kiss on your nose. This action left you flustered and a stuttering mess.

"I promise you, [Name]. I will not leave your side; I'll protect you no matter what." He pressed his nose against yours, forehead to forehead.

And for the first time in a long while, you believed him.

wowie this was long, i'm working on something similar for phainon (probably not as long), lmk if you wanna be tagged!

[blythesarchives]

Masterpiece. | B.B

summary: You show Bucky some love in Wakanda.

warnings: Smut | 18+ MDNI | Wakanda!Bucky | Fem!reader | Insecure Bucky | Soft & emotional sex | P in V | Unprotected sex

a/n: I had this idea for a really long time but finally finished it after having it in my drafts for months. A little shorter, so it was a quick little thing. I have some WS!Bucky fics in the works too, so hopefully those will be out soon! I made Bucky's time in cryo about a year and a half, between the release of Civil War and Black Panther. Idk if that's accurate or not, but for this fic it is. ;; wc: 3.6k

You stuck around. Honestly, nothing could tear you from his side.

T'Challa had arranged for you to have private accommodations within the medical wing where Bucky's cryogenic chamber was, ensuring you could maintain a constant vigil over him. The aftermath of the confrontation between Steve and Tony in Siberia had left you deeply shaken - when you discovered the extent of Bucky's injuries, including his violently dismembered metal arm - you had been horrified and it took a lot to calm you down. It was more than just the physical dismemberment, but the repeat amputation and the weight of the emotional turmoil for him and you was a lot to handle at once. Upon finally reuniting with him, you couldn't help but frantically check over his wounds, your hands trembling as you assessed the damage.

His body covered in various injuries, dried blood caking his skin, and his once-powerful metal arm now completely destroyed from Tony's repulsor blast, the metal once white hot now blackened as the circuits and wiring were completely melted and fried. The intensity of your concern was completely justified given his condition, though Bucky repeatedly tried to ease your fears with gentle reassurances. Steve also attempted to comfort you, though he mostly let you and Bucky have the time you needed.

When you arrived in Wakanda, Bucky's anxiety about potential discovery had been eating him - the fear of being found and captured again weighing heavily on his mind. The peace you had in Romania felt like it would never come again, it wasn’t perfect, but it was enough. Steve stepped in, promising that Wakanda's advanced defenses and T'Challa's protection would keep him safely hidden from those who wished him harm.

While T'Challa approached the situation with grace and hospitality, you couldn't help but maintain a defensive posture around him initially. The memory of his vendetta against Bucky was still fresh - his determined pursuit with the intent to kill still dominating your thoughts. As he approached your group for the first time without his panther suit, your protective instincts remained heightened, positioning yourself slightly closer to Bucky's side.

"I assure you, my hunt for Sergeant Barnes is over, though I understand your hesitation," T'Challa’s deep voice carried a gentle tone meant to soothe and reassure you. His eyes held sincerity as he continued, "I was foolishly deceived and have seen the error in my previous pursuit and regret my actions. We offer both him and yourself sanctuary here in Wakanda, where you will find peace and protection. I give you my word as both a king and a warrior that no one will be permitted to threaten your safety. He will be free to stay as long as he desires."

You exchanged a meaningful look with Bucky, unable to fully mask the lingering hesitation that flickered across your features. When he met your gaze with quiet reassurance, you mentally scolded yourself for being so overtly cautious, though you couldn't quite shake the protective instinct. You felt like you were being unnecessarily paranoid, but after everything that had transpired - the chase, the fighting, the constant looking over your shoulders - you felt justified in harboring some anxiety about the situation.

Despite Bucky's outward display of calm acceptance, you could sense the underlying tension radiating off of him in waves, even as he maintained a brave face for your benefit. His stoic demeanor couldn't completely hide the wariness that years on the run had instilled in him.

You stood before him in the sterile medical bay as the team of doctors prepared the cryochamber. His warm hand gently cupped your cheek, those familiar eyes gazing at you with an endless depth of affection. "It won't be too long..." He spoke softly, his gentle words attempting to calm the storm of anxiety that swirled within you.

"Maybe not for you." Your voice trembled despite your best efforts to keep it steady, barely rising above a whisper to match his tender tone. "You're gonna be frozen in there, suspended in time - just a blink of an eye for you, while the rest of us watch the world keep turning."

He chuckled softly, the corners of his lips curving upward in that familiar way that always made your heart skip. "Yeah...well, Shuri seems to be pretty smart - probably the smartest person I've ever met, so hopefully she figures something out, so I won't be in there for too long." His thumb traced gentle circles on your cheek, a silent gesture of comfort.

Your hand drifted up to cover his, fingers intertwining as you squeezed gently, seeking anchor in his touch. "We'll get through this..." The words escaped as barely more than a breath, a quiet promise meant more to convince yourself than him.

The doctors signaled the chamber’s preparation and you began your gentle goodbyes. “You could always come in with me.” He hummed against your ear as his arm wrapped around your body, holding you close. You smiled against his white tank top, sighing shakily.

“I don’t think my body is enhanced enough for that,” You muffled against him, “But I’ll be waiting.”

He continued to comfort you, his whispered promises of return that hung in the air like morning mist. When he finally stepped into the cryochamber Shuri had engineered, your eyes never left his face. You watched, heart aching, as his eyes fluttered closed and the chamber activated, crystalline ice slowly creeping across the glass, gradually obscuring your view of his rare, peaceful expression.

Through countless days and endless nights, through seasons changing and the world moving forward, you remained by his side until the day finally came when the ice melted away and those eyes opened once more.

It took quite a bit of adjusting, but life in Wakanda was gradually becoming more manageable. The climate was intense, with the relentless African sun beating down mercilessly throughout the day, making even simple tasks feel more challenging. Thankfully, the pristine lake situated just steps away from your shared cozy hut provided a welcome respite, offering an escape from the sweltering heat whenever you needed to cool down.

Bucky's adjustment period, however, had little to do with the weather. The recent removal of his prosthetic arm left him feeling deeply unbalanced, both physically and emotionally. The titanium appendage had been a significant part of his body weight distribution, and after decades of having it surgically integrated into his body, learning to function without it was proving to be a considerable challenge. The sudden absence of the familiar weight threw off his center of gravity, leading to a persistent sense of insecurity and mounting anxiety about his capabilities.

Doing things one handed was difficult.

Bucky's stubborn nature only complicated matters further, as he refused any offers of assistance, no matter how simple or necessary. Whether it was moving heavy objects around their living space, managing his increasingly long hair that now required more maintenance, or handling basic daily tasks - he remained determined to maintain his independence.

You backed off, knowing that he needed space to process and work through things independently. While your nurturing instincts urged you to do more, you consciously resisted the urge to be overly protective or maternal. He was undoubtedly capable of handling himself, yet you couldn't entirely suppress your natural inclination to provide support where possible.

You focused on offering practical assistance - preparing meals when needed, keeping the living space tidy and organized, ensuring his sleeping area was comfortable with fresh linens and proper cushioning if he’d allow it, and providing help with daily tasks like dressing when his mobility was limited.

Small gestures of support.

Though Bucky was grateful for your help, there were moments when the frustration of his situation manifested in terse responses or visible tension. He would become a little snappy at you or too moody when you spoke, but you kept reminding yourself that this was hard for him. The psychological impact of being without his arm for the first time in literal decades, regardless of its origins, was something you knew was incredibly difficult. To try to subtly ease this behavior, you made conscious efforts to help redirect his thoughts from dwelling too heavily.

Your days took on a gentle rhythm - spending time with the playful goats that roamed the area, playing with the curious children who would gather around the hut. But with every day came night, and as the sun's light faded and dusk settled in, accompanied by the persistent chorus of cicadas echoing through the trees, you saw how raw Bucky's psychological well-being was being affected.

Most of his tears flowed from deep-seated anger - anger that burned within himself for seeing weakness in his own reflection, for feeling unable to maintain his composure despite all the hell he had gone through already. In his mind, he was stronger than this moment of vulnerability, he was better than this; the act of crying over the loss of his limb felt almost juvenile and shameful to him, even though in reality it was obviously not - it was a natural, human response.

But he was still used to being human after spending a lifetime as a machine.

You were silent beside him, supporting his trembling form as the tears fell, holding him close against you as you offered what comfort you could through gentle touches and steady presence. Your heart ached to see his pain in the endless stream of tears, but there was a small measure of relief in knowing he felt safe enough to break down in your presence rather than bottling everything up until it inevitably erupted in a more destructive manner.

"I...just can't...handle this anymore." He hiccupped against your chest, his fingers desperately clutching at your top as if it were an anchor, grounding himself from everything that threatened to drag him under. You carefully considered your response, walking the line between wanting to comfort him and needing to help him face reality without pushing him further into distress.

"It's okay to feel this way...I know this is hard for you," you soothed while you rubbed comforting circles across his back. "I'm here for you, whatever you need, whenever you need it. You don't have to worry about asking for help or showing your feelings..."

He let out a trembling breath, slowly shifting his position until he wasn’t so crunched up against you. His face was flushed and tear-stained, cheeks mottled with emotion, so you reached out to brush away the wetness with your thumbs. "There you are...handsome man," you cooed, your lips curving into a soft, nurturing smile that reached your eyes. It was a familiar look he loved, no matter how he was feeling.

"...I don't feel handsome," he muttered back, his voice barely above a whisper as he deliberately avoided your gaze. Instead, his eyes remained fixed on the intricate patterns of the weathered rug beneath you both, while the sturdy walls of the hut sheltered you from the biting night air that whistled outside. His words were heavy with self-doubt, pierced straight through your heart like shards of ice. Every fiber of your being ached to chase away his demons, to somehow make him see himself through your adoring eyes, to help him understand just how perfect and whole he was.

But this wasn't about your feelings.

You focused on soothing his wounded spirit, placing his needs above all else. "You are handsome, Buck Buck," you assured him, your voice steady and warm. "Nothing could ever change that. Not the loss of a limb, not the absence of your prosthetic, not a single thing in this world. You are everything to me, absolutely everything, and I want nothing more than to show you just how true that is. Would you let me?"

He finally lifted his gaze, his watery eyes meeting your steady ones. "I don't think...you want to right now. I just...I don't feel whole anymore. Not like this."

"Let me try?" Your voice was hushed, gentle as morning light basking over his skin as you carefully guided him back until he was seated more comfortably against the cushions scattered on the floor. He obliged with visible hesitation, his eyes a mixture of trust and lingering anxiety. You began to pull the silken cloths away from his body, revealing the strong planes of his muscular chest. His breathing quickened noticeably, an edge of nervousness creeping in as your hand drifted towards the delicate silk that kept his amputated arm hidden from the world's prying gaze.

His remaining hand caught your wrist, stopping you with an urgent touch. Your eyes immediately found his face, offering wordless comfort and reassurance. "It's okay..." You whispered, keeping your movements completely still to honor his hesitation.

"They had to take the rest of it...there's...not much left there anymore. I don't even...have a shoulder anymore. It's just...empty space where something should be..."

"Hey...shh. It's alright...we can stop right here if you need to. Know that whether you have something there or not...I'll have you either way. Every piece of you, exactly as you are. That doesn't matter to me - it never has, and it never will. I promise you that..."

He swallowed thickly, his throat constricting as a heavy lump forced its way down. Gradually, his racing heartbeat steadied and his breathing evened out enough to allow you to continue. In all his years, through all his struggles, you had become the only one he truly trusted to see him like this - vulnerable, exposed, and completely himself. It took patience and time, but you remained steadfast by his side and proved you were worthy of seeing all of him.

His fingers loosened their grip around your wrist, slowly releasing you as if reluctant to let go. With the silent permission, you carefully pulled away the silk fabric. His eyes squeezed shut instinctively, the familiar wave of self-consciousness washing over him as he actively avoided looking at himself. But those tightly closed eyes flew open in surprise when your soft lips pressed against the jagged landscape of scars around the area. His body jerked away reflexively at first, the unfamiliar sensation sending tingles across his skin. The touch still felt foreign to him, but just as quickly as he had flinched, his muscles began to unwind and relax beneath your tender attention.

"There we go...just let me love you. You are so perfect." Your words drifted between tender kisses, each one a gentle reassurance as you traced a path up his neck and along his jaw. Your hands moved up and around his body, touching and caressing him as if memorizing every inch. Your touch wandered a deliberate path from his hips, ghosting up along his sides until finally reaching his face, where you cupped his cheeks and drew him close, keeping him anchored to this moment. "Look at you...so gorgeous...you couldn't be more perfect to me. You know that? Every single part of you."

Your kisses continued, dotting across his face during your gentle peppering. The attention made his nose scrunching slightly as a shy, almost boyish smile spread across his features, transforming his entire expression. "You're just saying that..." He murmured, but your earnest words had already worked their magic, warming his ears and cheeks until they glowed pink, each sweet affirmation making his stomach flip.

"Oh no, I mean it, Bucky..." You hummed with such conviction that he couldn't help but meet your gaze. Your eyes held his, full of nothing but pure adoration as you whispered, "I mean every single word, every single time."

You continued to warm him up with tender kisses and gentle touches, taking your time as you massaged his body while you lovingly peppered soft kisses all over him. Your lips traced a path down his sternum and across his stomach, your fingers dancing lightly as they rubbed soothing circles over the sensitive skin by his hips, occasionally mixing in playful little nips that made him shiver. Gradually, you felt his body responding to your attention, his desire evident as it pressed urgently against you through the remaining clothes he still wore on his lower half.

"Are you sure you want to be with me like...this?" He asked once more, that deep insecurity still festering inside him like an old wound. He kept his gaze averted from the loss of his limb, unable to bear witnessing the damage that marked him. The phantom pains that plagued him were already more than he could stand - they seemed to intensify tenfold whenever his eyes fell upon the empty space where something should have been. His mind played such cruel tricks on him, tormenting him with sensations from a limb that was no longer there, an endless reminder of what he had lost.

"I'm positive..." You captured his lips in yours, pouring all your emotion into the sweetest, most tender kiss you could possibly give, wanting him to feel just how completely and utterly you adored every part of him.

When you were both fully undressed, you straddled him once more, beginning a slow and sensual rhythm as you moved your hips up and down, grinding yourself against his length. Your breath caught in your throat as you spoke, your voice thick with emotion, "Y-you...you're so incredibly beautiful...every single mark, every scar on you...none of it bothers me the way you think it does. I can see all that fear in your eyes...hear the doubt in your voice…but I promise you, I swear to you...it doesn’t. I love you. Every single part of you. All of you, exactly as you are."

You sunk down on him before he could respond with words, his voice strained as he moaned loudly, his strong hand instinctively finding its way to your hip as you moved against him with passionate intensity. His deep, resonant moans drove you forward, fueled your desires, and you maintained your rhythmic bouncing. Your own satisfaction was the furthest thing from your mind - all you wanted in this moment was to show him just how much your love for him was through every careful motion. You channeled all your attention into performing every little movement you knew brought him pleasure, carefully swirling your hips in tight circles, rolling your body in waves, varying the tempo and pressure while you recalled previous nights of passion and how much he liked every individual change.

"I love you so much baby, you know that right? You know how completely I adore you, what an absolutely perfect, precious boy you are..." You moaned back breathlessly, your eyes meeting his for a fleeting but intense moment. In that brief connection, you made sure every word flowed directly from the depths of your heart, knowing he deserved endless reassurance and affirmation of your devotion.

"You are a masterpiece," you urged, your voice carrying both fierce determination and infinite tenderness. "And you are all mine to cherish and admire every single day."

Crystal tears began flowing freely down his flushed cheeks, nearly causing you to pause in concern. Your lips parted instinctively to ask if something was wrong, but he spoke first, his voice thick with emotion. "I-I love you so much, sweetheart, y-you've always been there for me, through everything. You've shown me nothing but love and patience...even when I was struggling and being an asshole...”

His breath hitched as he took in a sharp breath, steadying himself to continue. “You were my warmth when I was stuck in nothing but darkness and cold...when I had no one else to turn to...when I had nothing left." His movements synchronized perfectly with yours, his body rising to meet each careful swivel and roll of your hips in an intimate dance of shared passion.

“You are my world.”

He throbbed inside you, burying his face in your chest as he tried to hold himself back from finishing but couldn't. He cried out into you, muffling his tears into your chest as he came - shooting thick ropes of hot fluid deep into your cervix and warming you from the inside.

Bucky remained still afterwards, seeming hesitant and uncertain, his body tense with what could only be embarrassment at finishing so quickly without ensuring your pleasure first. But that thought couldn't have been further from your mind - his vulnerability in these moments only made your heart swell with even more affection.

You guided his face away from where he'd buried it against your strong sternum, immediately capturing his lips in a deep, reassuring kiss before he could voice the apology you could see forming.

"Hush now...don't you dare apologize, Barnes.” Your tone playfully firm with the use of his last name, “I need you to understand...I love you. So deeply, so completely...whatever you think you're lacking doesn't matter to me at all. I will spend every moment showing you exactly how cherished and adored you are through my eyes until you finally see yourself the way I do." You pressed another lingering kiss to his slightly swollen lips, letting it stretch on for several long seconds before slowly pulling back. "And I'll keep doing it for as long as it takes."

"For as long as it takes, huh?" He echoed softly, a hint of playfulness creeping into his voice though you could hear the genuine concern underneath. "What if I need that every single day?" The question held a weight to it - you could tell he worried about being too needy, too demanding of your patience and reassurance. But your expression remained unwavering, eyebrows drawing together with fierce determination.

"Every single damn day, Buck Buck...until my lungs have lost their breath."

Thanks for reading - 💙

Dividers by @/strangergraphics | Images found on Pinterest

[just-some-random-blogger]

Tormented Spirit | 13

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."

Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 6k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, DD:DNE, pregnancy, miscarriage, panic/anxiety attacks, suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: i have realized i dont link the polls to the fics. here's what won last time!! bask in your decisions <3 once again, the high valyrian might be wrong so roll with it and leave comments/reblogs ok!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! | cross posted on ao3

@arabellasleopardcoat @prettybiching @myllovellybones

Caraxes was never fond of being holed up in the pit, and yet, as King's Landing became apparent on the horizon, the dragon found himself beating his wings faster than normal. When the stench of the pit the creature's nostrils, he knew then, he was home.

Perhaps it was still because he was in his armor, but for Daemon, it was not until Viserys looked upon him, first warily then happily, and embraced him that he felt the realness of it all.

As the entirety of court watched the brothers' affectionate exchange, most thought the display touching... then there were the Hightowers. The only reason Alicent was here in the throne room to greet him was because she was queen and it was expected of her. And Otto did not want to look upon the dastardly prince's face, but he had to see what state he was in for the sake of his eldest daughter.

"My brother has returned!" the king announces, enticing cheers from the onlookers. Lord Hand promptly leaves after this, intent on going to you.

Otto asks the first servant he sees where you are, and is immediately directed to the garden. He is unsurprised to see that not one, but two of your wards are there, evidently on high alert. The moment they spot him, they freeze to greet him in unison, "Lord Hand."

"Does she know?"

The twins share a quick glance, and again, in unison, "everyone knows."

Otto releases a sigh. You know of your husband's return and yet you chose to remain in the gardens. He was about to ask the twins to step aside, but then he hears the sound of giggles. He peers past the two, finding you laughing with your nephew in your arms. He rubs his forehead and clenches his jaw, "what did she say?"

Erryk and Arryk stare at Otto's distressed face. The former speaks, " 'he did not wish that I see him off, I should not see to his return'. "

Otto sighs deeply and wipes his face, "Seven save us."

Arryk almost pities your father for how worried he looked... but almost is not enough; he'll never forget the tears you shed because of him. No one in your family seemed to grant you grace.

"As it is," Lord Hightower raises his hands, "the prince is in good spirits, and I am sure he will not so soon look for her as he would the cups of wine he wishes to share with the king. Do not impose upon the prince if he does come around," Otto raises a finger, "but do not let his entitlement get into his head."

The Cargll twins nod in sync, "my lord."

With that, Otto walks off.

Once he is gone, Erryk turns to his brother, "I would sooner fall on my sword than have her husband ruin the happiness she's so delicately built for herself."

Arryk gives him a look, "do not forget yourself."

"I do not," he snaps, "but perhaps you do."

Arryk does not take kindly to his accusatory tone.

"I cannot forget even if I wanted," Erryk looks off, "it my shift when she miscarried," he grits his teeth, "mine, when she tried to fling herself off the eastern tower."

"And it was mine when she locked herself in her bath," Arryk quips, "and when she threw herself at Caraxes, only to have the beast take her under his wing. Do not feel self-righteous in your suffering, for it is not yours," he points, "it's hers."

Erryk clenches his jaw so hard it's a wonder his teeth do not break. He spare his brother a glance.

Arryk turns forward and sighs deeply before repeating, "do not forget yourself."

"Do not forget yourself," he counters.

All three of them are wrong, Arryk, Erryk, and Otto. Otto was wrong to think that Daemon would not look for you before anything else. The prince notices your absence the very moment he notices your sister. He asks Viserys, "where is my wife?"

Viserys looks over to Alicent, who clutches her belly and finally approaches, "ah... she's probably with her boy."

Daemon pulls his head back.

"My prince," Alicent smiles half-heartedly to her good-brother, "I trust your travels home were smooth."

He completely ignores her, "her boy?"

Viserys thinks nothing of Daemon's words as he takes his wife's hand, "where is your sister, dearest?"

Dearest? Daemon's expression curls.

Alicent turns to the king, rubbing her swollen belly, "last I saw her, she was in the gardens with Aegon."

Aegon? Daemon's eyes narrow.

"Oh!" Viserys smiles, turning to Daemon, "you should go to the gardens and fetch them then. Your wife has brought forth new life to the Keep. I encouraged her to write about it to you, but she did not think you would find care to learn it through letters."

Daemon's face falls. New life? You brought forth new life? Without a word, he sprints off to the gardens.

Viserys is momentarily taken aback by this. Alicent is agitated by it, especially because she catches on to the ambiguity of his words. She squeezes his arm, "do you think this is a good idea?"

"What?" he pulls his head back, "that he see his wife and nephew?"

"He might not take kindly to Aegon. You called him her boy."

Viserys chuckles, "but he is. She loves him so dearly."

"I know, but you made it sound like my sister had a babe."

The king pulls his head back and chuckles. When he realizes Alicent's worry was apparent on her features, he thinks about what he said and shakes his head, "I was talking about the flowers she planted in the garden."

"I know," Alicent repeats, "but does Daemon?"

"Don't be silly, Alicent," Viserys squeezes her hand, "Daemon is not that slow-witted. Besides, does your sister not write to him everyday?"

She clenches her jaw, "yes."

"So," he shrugs, "why would he be so sorely mistaken?"

Except he was; Viserys is also wrong. And as Daemon makes his way toward the gardens, it becomes apparent why Arryk and Erryk too are wrong. Both of them immediately forget themselves upon seeing the approaching prince. They block his path instinctively.

Daemon stops in his tracks, "out of the way."

Erryk stares blankly at him. Arryk shifts on his leg, "allow me a moment to announce your presence to the princess."

"Why would I need to be announced? She is my wife."

"She is with Prince Aegon," Arryk raises a hand and steps forward, "it is in her best interest that I ensure you are welcome while he is present."

Daemon is flabbergasted. He clenches his fists, "why wouldn't I be welcome around my own flesh and blood?!"

"My lady has only recen-"

"Do you deny it!?" Daemon snaps.

They do not reply.

"Do you deny the boy is my flesh and blood?"

The twins know the prince is riled up. If they persist, a fight will surely break out. Though they cared little for the consequences of quarrelling with the newly returned prince, they did care greatly for your peace of mind. This was why Erryk replied, "no, ser."

"Then get out of my fucking way," he snaps.

Arryk and Erryk stare at him. Eventually, they reluctantly step aside.

Daemon, in all his rage and pettiness, makes sure to knock into them as he passes. It was good he was still in his own armor, or else the collision against their steel shoulder pads would have hurt.

"Right, shall we go back now?"

The sound of your voice makes him stop in his tracks. How was it that he was so angry to be denied going to you just now, yet he now can't seem to move from his spot.

"No, my love, we do not pick roses so carelessly."

"Flower!"

Daemon's breath hitches at the sound of the boy's voice.

"You want the rose?" your voice is soft but audible, "you want to pick the rose for mummy?"

Mummy? Daemon slowly inches foward.

"Mummy?" the small voice repeats.

Daemon witnesses the moment the babe reaches for your curls. You brown hair is completely undone, spilling all the way down to your waist. A gentle breeze makes your tresses and skirt flow. His lips part at the beauty of you.

You chuckle when Aegon tries to eat your hair and pull it away before he manages to, "silly boy. Shall we ask Ser Arryk to pick the flower for us?"

"Flower for mummy!" he bounces in your arms.

You bounce him back, making him giggle as you repeat, "flower for mummy!" You flip your hair back, "Ser Arryk, could you-"

Your mouth goes dry when you see Daemon staring back at you. His hair is short and his eyes shine. You nearly choke on your breath, feeling your knees buckle as he slowly walks over. Your hold on Aegon tightens as he reaches out.

You step back. It takes him off-guard. It feels just like when an arrow was shot to his chest. Daemon moves towards the rose bush, picking out a flower, carefully removing its thorns.

"Flower!" Aegon coos and reaches out.

Daemon turns to him, handing the blushing bloom, "rūklon, ñuha tresy." Flower, my son.

You freeze. You freeze because you understand him.

Aegon gives a gummy smile; he shows all his teeth but he only has two at the bottom. He happily groans and grins at you when he has the flower in hand, "FLAWOW!"

You turn to the boy. His shining face instantly shatters the tension and unease you feel. You huff and brush his silver hair back. You freeze again when Daemon's hand comes upon yours.

You turn to him with wide eyes. His eyes are fixed on Aegon, "Rūklon, Aegon. Kostagon vestrā rūklon syt kepa?" Flower, Aegon. Can you say flower for father?

Daemon takes Aegon's chin, making him look to him, "rūklon, Aegon. Rūk-lon."

Your initially shocked expression melts into molten anger.

Aegon looks at his uncle, "rūklon."

Daemon is surprised but immediately pleased. He lets out a rich laugh as he turns to you, "he is good."

"Daor kirimvose naejot ao." you snap, pulling Aegon away from him. No thanks to you.

He pulls his chin back. He watches in shock as you turn to move the prince away. You glare as you do so, eyes beady and pink. His forehead wrinkles.

"Eman gūrēntan Valyrio Eglie sīr bona kostan bodmagho zirȳla. Emā daorun naejot jiōragon zirȳla." I have learned High Valyrian so that I can teach him. You have nothing to offer him.

Your frosty words make him pull his head back again. "daorun?" Nothing.

"Kessa," you nod, "daorun." Yes. Nothing.

His eye twitches as he shakes his head in disbelief, "iksan se valītsos kepa." I am the boy's father.

The severity of your laugher is haunting. His eyes widen and his skin pricks with goosebumps. You throw your head back, feeling a tear run down your face. You sigh and shake your head as you turn back to him, "you are completely devoid of both heart and mind, aren't you?"

Daemon is too stunned to do anything but stare.

You turn. Daemon finally sees Aegon playing with the flower. You catch his attention by brushing his hair back, "my love," you start, "qilōni iksis aōha kepa?" who is your father?

Aegon looks up at you with little interest.

"Kepa, Aegon, kepa."

"Kepa?" he repeats.

"Kessa, skoros gaomas kepa gaomagon?" Yes, what does father do?

Aegon raises his rose, "dārys!"

King? Daemon's face falls.

You smile and bounce the child in your arms, "rōvēgrior!"

He tenses at the sound of the word. Rōvēgrior. Excellent. There was a time where you could not say that word at all. He taught that to you. And yet as you turn to him, your face destitute of any happiness that you had offered Aegon, it felt at though it was a memory he just conjured up.

"You are no more related to the boy than I am," you quip, "she is my sister's first born."

"Viserys said you brought for new life in the Keep," he mutters, as if he was afraid he heard wrong.

Your jaw feathers, but as the wind blows, you catch sight of the flowers, "he meant the roses," you turn to the said blooms. You laugh, bitterness pulling out a mocking smile from you, "how could you expect a son from me?"

Daemon shifts in his spot, ready to argue, but he quickly finds he had nothing to say to that. He thinks of all the seed he's spilled on your skin. He thinks of his persistence in leaving your womb empty. He thinks of the discipline he employed to ensure he would never finish in you. He clenches his jaw.

You turn to him; tears begin to fall from your eyes. Aegon notices and reaches for your cheeks; his flower falls to the floor, forgotten.

You and Daemon stare at each other. You feel your breath begin to shorten the longer you do.

Your expression falls when you hear Aegon begin to fuss. You immediately steel yourself away as you turn to your nephew; the boy looks like he is on the brink of tears. You sniffle and shush him, "no, no, no-"

It's too late. He begins to cry.

You push past Daemon with little regard. Your wards turn to you upon hearing Aegon's cries. You say nothing to them, your full attention on Aegon as you rock him in your arms, "the fishes swim in seas of blue, and dragons breath fire so red..."

Arryk and Erryk follow after you.

Daemon is left alone in the middle of the garden.

He has no word to describe what he felt in that moment. He was stunned, hurt, saddened, torn. He was angry. How could you do this to him? You had begged him not to go, and now that he's returned, you treat him like... like you hated him.

He laughs dryly under his breath. Was this a game? Was this your way of getting back at him? He laughs louder as he walks off. He could hate you back better.

Daemon joins the luncheon the king throws in honor of his return. He does not waste his time and makes a show of himself.

It is easy for him to fall back into his old ways once he is in his princely garbs. He openly and unabashedly flirts with all the ladies he can set his eyes upon and eagerly annoys and offers backhanded compliments to all the lords present.

It gets so bad that Viserys has to intervene. Even Alicent and Rhaenyra, who had not spoken to each other since the king's wedding, find each other's company just to momentarily agree that Daemon is being completely callous and tactless.

The king pulls him by the shoulder and Daemon manages to snag a cup of wine as he is pried away from the offensive conversation he instigated.

"I understand that you are overjoyed to be home," Viserys leads him off, "but please, control yourself."

Daemon pouts, facetious, "kessa, kepa." Yes, father.

He bristles, "iksan issare dokimare. Emagon mirri iotāptenon syt aōha ābrazȳrys." I'm being serious. Have some respect for your wife.

Daemon immediately shoves Visersys's hand off him at the mention of you. He snaps, "gaomagon daor ȳdragon naejot nyke hen bona aspo!" Do not speak to me of that bitch!

The queen and princess, along with the rest of the people present, turn to the brothers upon hearing raised voices.

"Uncle!" Rhaenyra calls him out, offended by the conversation only she and they could understand.

Daemon turns to her, chucking his drink to the side before storming off.

Viserys rolls his eyes and sigh, "Daemon."

Alicent walks over to her husband.

"Daemon!" the king snaps.

"Leave it to me, father," Rhaenyra says, following after her uncle.

Daemon is back at the gardens. He snaps over his shoulder, "fuck off!"

Rhaenyra rolls her eyes, "what has gotten you so sour?"

"HER!" Daemon whips back around, eyes red and glassy, "THAT HIGHTOWER BITCH!"

Rhaenyra recoils and pulls her head back in shock. She carefully mutters, "you can't possibly mean Alicent, can you?"

"Her and the whole lot!" Daemon throws a hand out, "they can all drop dead for all I care."

The princess watches him pace around. Her brows knit, "I would say I am comforted that you share in my offence over my father and Alicent's union, but I cannot say I do. I know you have long hated Otto, and Gwayne, as he's bested you in tourneys—"

Daemon steps forward, "have you followed me to further spur-"

"But what has -"

"Don't you fucking speak her name to me!"

Rhaenyra is taken aback by this. The two stare at each other, and as Daemon heaves. Her face hardens, "what could you possibly be angry about?"

"She did not even greet me!" Daemon points to nowhere.

Rhaenyra laughs. It goes dry when she realizes he was being serious. Her face contorts, "Daemon."

He looks away.

Her lips curl, "she just got better"

His brows furrow.

"You do know that?" she tilts her head, "right?"

Have you been sick?

"Seven hells," Rhaenyra's face falls, "you don't know."

"..."

"She writes to you everyday," she motions vaguely, "I have not been in King's Landing for many moons, but even I know this."

"War makes time for-"

"Then why are you angry?!"

"..."

Rhaenyra raises her brows at him. Daemon remains unable to respond. She rolls her eyes, "welcome home, uncle."

Daemon is left alone in the garden for a second time. He goes back to his personal quarters.

You see him from across the hall just before he enters but he does not see you. Before you can take another step, Arryk and Erryk each take hold of your arms.

"Release me."

"Why should you be the one to go to him?" Arryk asks.

You turn to him, "you know why."

"If he does not want to go to you, do not waste your grace on him," Arryk says, just as you pull away to turn to them.

"He does nothing to understand you," Erryk adds, "and he will misunderstand you so long as it suits himself."

Your eyes immediately water, "why are you turning against me?"

"We are-"

"You think I want to live like this?"

Erryk speaks your name, "he is not ready to face you."

"It's been three years!" you chuckle dryly.

"Let him come to you," Arryk adds.

You scratch your eyes and shake your head, "the bodies of my babes remain unburied, wrapped and sealed in a crypt, because I insist that they be given but one respect due to them in the tradition of their house, and you would deny me-" your voice breaks. Tears run down your cheeks as you try to compose yourself. You clear your throat, "you would deny my son and daughter this?"

The twins do not speak.

You wipe your face roughly with your hands, "well? What say you?!"

Arryk lowers his head. Erryk cannot look at you, but he cannot keep his peace either, which is why he says, "I say they would not want their mother to suffer at the hand of their father."

"Damn you, Erryk!" you shove him back.

Erryk looks at you in shock.

"You dare presume to know my children when I-" gasp, "did not-" gasp, "even-" gasp.

Your guards reach out for you when you begin to topple. They keep you upright and you find yourself too stubborn to faint. You wrangle out of their grasp and lean on your knees as you struggle to catch your breath.

When you straighten up, you look and see Erryk's teary eyes. You feel terrible. It nearly makes you lose your breath again. You groan and sink your face into your hands, "I can never win, can I?"

"Princess," Erryk mutters, "forgive me, I-"

"Enough," you raise a hand to him, "I will not have my children be the cause of conflict."

Erryk nods and keeps his head bowed. Arryk turns to him before doing the same.

You sigh, belly churning with sadness and guilt, "come," you take their hands, "my twins waited this long for their father. They can wait a little longer."

Daemon, though in his adamant refusal to read your letters, kept every single one of them, even the ones he trampled on in his anger. Three sacks of letters, there were three sacks that contained all of the letters you sent him, one for every year he was gone. He empties them out on his bed. He walks to his trunk of clothing and grabs the only one he ever read and rereads it.

He walks back to his bed and sits a the floor. He flattens out the parchment beside him, then haphazardly reaches for another one.

𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔥𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔩. ℑ𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔪𝔶 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔡𝔞𝔶 𝔱𝔬𝔡𝔞𝔶. ℑ 𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔩 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔫𝔬 𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫 𝔱𝔬 𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔞𝔨 𝔬𝔣 𝔥𝔬𝔴 𝔰𝔲𝔯𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔦𝔱 𝔦𝔰. ℑ 𝔫𝔬 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔯 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔞𝔪𝔢 𝔴𝔞𝔶. 𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔪𝔢 𝔥𝔞𝔰 𝔪𝔞𝔡𝔢 𝔦𝔱 𝔰𝔬. ℑ 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲. ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔟𝔢 𝔪𝔶 𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔞𝔩 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔡𝔞𝔶 𝔠𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔟𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲. 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔚𝔦𝔣𝔢.

Daemon flattens the parchment, stacks it on the previous one, and grabs another letter.

𝔓𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔥𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔩. ℑ 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔡𝔬 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡 𝔪𝔶 𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔰, 𝔶𝔢𝔱 ℑ 𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔟𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔪𝔶𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣 𝔱𝔬 𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔭 𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤. 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔤 𝔏𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔏𝔞𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔯 𝔙𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔯𝔶𝔬𝔫 𝔥𝔞𝔰 𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫 𝔱𝔬 𝔪𝔢 𝔦𝔫 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔯𝔫 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔩 𝔪𝔢 𝔰𝔬. ℌ𝔬𝔴 𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔶 ℑ 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔫 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔖𝔱𝔢𝔭𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰 𝔥𝔞𝔰 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔪𝔢, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔥𝔬𝔴 𝔤𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔩𝔶 𝔪𝔶 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔞𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔦𝔱 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔶𝔬𝔲. ℑ 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫 𝔱𝔬 𝔥𝔦𝔪 𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔶 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔰 𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢, 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶𝔡𝔞𝔶 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲. ℌ𝔢 𝔰𝔞𝔶𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔯𝔶 𝔬𝔣𝔱, 𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔞𝔡𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔞𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔢𝔰. 𝔇𝔬 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔟𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔯𝔶 𝔞𝔱 𝔥𝔦𝔪; ℑ 𝔯𝔢𝔤𝔞𝔯𝔡 𝔥𝔦𝔪 𝔞𝔰 𝔞 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔡. ℑ 𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢 𝔦𝔫 𝔪𝔶 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔞𝔰 ℑ 𝔡𝔬 𝔶𝔬𝔲. 𝔖𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔩𝔶, 𝔏𝔞𝔡𝔶 ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔯

He knits his brows, flattens the parchment, stacks it on the previous one, and grabs another letter.

𝔓𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, 𝔏𝔢𝔞𝔫𝔬𝔯 𝔥𝔞𝔰 𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲'𝔳𝔢 𝔤𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔬 𝔞𝔫 𝔞𝔯𝔤𝔲𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔥𝔦𝔪. ℌ𝔢 𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔰 𝔪𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔫𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔩𝔶 𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔞𝔠𝔨𝔢𝔡 𝔥𝔦𝔪 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔬𝔣𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔫 𝔬𝔭𝔦𝔫𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔯𝔶 𝔱𝔬 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔰. ℌ𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔡𝔩𝔶 𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔥𝔢 𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔞𝔤𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔡. ℑ 𝔢𝔫𝔳𝔶 𝔥𝔦𝔪. ℑ 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔨 𝔬𝔫𝔩𝔶 𝔪𝔶 𝔡𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔡. 𝔓𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔢 𝔯𝔢𝔭𝔩𝔶.

His face falls at your sentiment. You think this? He wonders for a moment what he and Laenor argued over, but he cannot recall anything for the life of him. The next letter he opens makes him sit up straight.

ℑ'𝔪 𝔡𝔶𝔦𝔫𝔤. 𝔓𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔥𝔬𝔪𝔢.

This letter drives him mad, because it is the only one like it. He rips open more than a dozen letters, yet all of them are like all the rest. He reads some more about Laenor, some of Gwayne and Alicent, some of Otto, some of Arryk and Erryk, some of Viserys, but most of them are about the mundane things you busy yourself with. Mundane things you do to distract yourself from him.

He does not know what to make of it.

Then, he unfolds a piece of paper with hastily written script.

𝔖𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫, 𝔦𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔞 𝔩𝔢𝔱𝔱ℯ𝓇 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓅𝒾𝓇ℯ 𝓂𝓎 𝒽𝓊𝓈𝒷𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉ℴ 𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹, 𝓁ℯ𝓉 𝒾𝓉 𝒷ℯ 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈. ℐ 𝒽𝒶𝓋ℯ 𝓃ℴ𝓉 𝓌𝓇𝒾𝓉𝓉ℯ𝓃 𝒶𝒷ℴ𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒷ℯ𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈ℯ ℐ 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒶𝒻𝓇𝒶𝒾𝒹 𝓉ℴ, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒟𝒶ℯ𝓂ℴ𝓃, ℐ 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹. ℐ 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒷𝒶𝓇ℯ𝓁𝓎 𝓈ℯℯ 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝓅𝒶𝓅ℯ𝓇 𝒶𝓈 ℐ 𝓌𝓇𝒾𝓉ℯ 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 ℐ 𝒻ℯ𝒶𝓇 ℐ 𝓂𝒾ℊ𝒽𝓉 𝓃ℯℯ𝒹 𝓉ℴ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓃ℊℯ 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝒸𝒽𝓂ℯ𝓃𝓉 𝒶ℊ𝒶𝒾𝓃. 𝒞ℴ𝓂ℯ 𝒽ℴ𝓂ℯ. ℐ 𝒾𝓂𝓅𝓁ℴ𝓇ℯ 𝓎ℴ𝓊, ℐ 𝒷ℯ𝓈ℯℯ𝒸𝒽 𝓎ℴ𝓊— 𝒸ℴ𝓂ℯ 𝒽ℴ𝓂ℯ.

"I was with child?" Daemon repeats to himself.

He frantically grabs a bunch of letters and skims through them, desperate to learn more of this. He goes through 5, 10, 20, 50, 100 letters, but none of them ever mention such a thing ever again.

At some point, the letters become singular.

𝔐𝔶 𝔥𝔲𝔰𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔡, ℑ 𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔢𝔞𝔱. ℑ 𝔭𝔥𝔶𝔰𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔶 𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔟𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔪𝔶𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣 𝔱𝔬 𝔢𝔞𝔱 𝔬𝔯 𝔨𝔢𝔢𝔭 𝔪𝔶 𝔣𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔡𝔬𝔴𝔫. ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔞 𝔡𝔢𝔠𝔞𝔶𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔠𝔬𝔯𝔭𝔰𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔞 𝔭𝔲𝔩𝔰𝔢. ℑ 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔪𝔶 𝔪𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔰 𝔪𝔢 𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥. 𝔖𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔪𝔢, 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔪𝔶 𝔣𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔦𝔱. ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔳𝔦𝔰𝔦𝔱 𝔪𝔶 𝔱𝔬𝔪𝔟 𝔬𝔫𝔠𝔢. 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔚𝔦𝔣𝔢

They all speak of your apparently imminent demise.

𝔐𝔶 𝔥𝔲𝔰𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔡, ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤. 𝔄𝔩𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔬 𝔰𝔢𝔢𝔰 𝔪𝔢 𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔰 𝔪𝔢 𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔢, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 ℑ 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔦𝔱. 𝔉𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔪𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔪𝔶 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔰𝔤𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰. ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲. 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔚𝔦𝔣𝔢

It goes on for far too long.

𝔐𝔶 𝔥𝔲𝔰𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔡, ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔫𝔲𝔪𝔟. ℑ 𝔫𝔬 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔯 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔫. ℑ 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔠𝔨𝔢𝔡 𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔞 𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔩𝔢 𝔞��𝔡 𝔟𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔢𝔡 𝔪𝔶 𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔡. ℑ 𝔣𝔢𝔩𝔱 𝔫𝔬 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔪𝔱𝔥 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔩𝔞𝔪𝔢. 𝔓𝔢𝔯𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔰 𝔦𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔪𝔶 𝔡𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔶 𝔱𝔬 𝔡𝔦𝔢 𝔟𝔶 𝔡𝔯𝔞𝔤𝔬𝔫 𝔣𝔦𝔯𝔢. ℑ𝔱 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔟𝔢 𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔰. 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔚𝔦𝔣𝔢

Daemon's stomach rolls. He cannot bare to read any more, and yet his guilt urges him to drink up this pain, as if it would make it go away, as if it could make up for what he had done.

The moon begins to fade as the sun begins to rise. He reads hundreds of letters that speak nothing but your pain and desire for death. His face is wet with tears and bitterness linger in his mouth. He no longer is on the floor. He lies on his bed, surround by his wife's misery.

He wails. He can do nothing else as he takes in your words.

Then, for the final time, the tone changes.

𝔓𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, 𝔗𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔫𝔬 𝔭𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔢 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔞𝔠𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔪𝔶 𝔰𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯'𝔰 𝔰𝔬𝔫. ℌ𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔪𝔶 𝔡𝔢𝔢𝔭𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔰𝔬𝔯𝔯𝔬𝔴 𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔦𝔣𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔟𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔢𝔶𝔢𝔰. ℌ𝔢 𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔭𝔰 𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔥 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔩𝔡 𝔥𝔦𝔪, 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔥𝔢 𝔩𝔬𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔟𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔢𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔪𝔶 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔪. ℌ𝔦𝔰 𝔠𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔪𝔢. ℑ 𝔴𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔰𝔬𝔫 𝔬𝔯 𝔡𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔰𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔞 𝔱𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔫𝔬𝔦𝔰𝔢. 𝔏𝔞𝔡𝔶 ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔯

... mine own son or daughter. Daemon wipes his face.

𝔓𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, 𝔄𝔢𝔤𝔬𝔫 𝔦𝔰 𝔪𝔶 𝔨𝔢𝔢𝔭𝔢𝔯. ℑ 𝔡𝔢𝔱𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔰𝔬, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔦𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔯𝔲𝔩𝔶 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔣𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔰𝔲𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔰 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢 𝔬𝔴𝔫. ℑ𝔣 ℑ 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡, ℑ 𝔴𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔟𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔰𝔬𝔯𝔯𝔬𝔴 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔰𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔣𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔣𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔧𝔬𝔶. ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔥𝔦𝔪 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔶𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔡𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔶 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔩𝔡. ℑ 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔥𝔦𝔪 𝔱𝔬𝔬. 𝔏𝔞𝔡𝔶 ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔯

He knits his brows and sits up. All the remaining letters are about Aegon.

𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, 𝔗𝔬𝔡𝔞𝔶 𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔨𝔰 𝔞 𝔶𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔪𝔶 𝔟𝔢𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔡 𝔄𝔢𝔤𝔬𝔫 𝔥𝔞𝔰 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔟𝔬𝔯𝔫. ℌ𝔢 𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔡𝔰 𝔪𝔢 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶𝔡𝔞𝔶. ℑ 𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰 ℑ 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 ℑ 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔨 𝔬𝔣 𝔥𝔦𝔪, 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔴𝔥𝔢𝔫 𝔥𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔞𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔡. ℑ𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔪𝔶 𝔪𝔬𝔰𝔱 𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔣𝔞𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔶 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔬𝔬. 𝔙𝔦𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔶𝔰 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔥𝔬𝔩𝔡𝔰 𝔥𝔦𝔪𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣 𝔬𝔣 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔞𝔣𝔣𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰 𝔞𝔱 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔰; ℑ 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔨 𝔦𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔟𝔢𝔠𝔞𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔥𝔢 𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔰 𝔰𝔦𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔞𝔯 𝔪𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 ℜ𝔥𝔞𝔢𝔫𝔶𝔯𝔞. ℑ 𝔡𝔬 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔣𝔞𝔲𝔩𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔤 𝔥𝔢𝔦𝔯 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔠𝔬𝔩𝔡𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔡𝔰 𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔥𝔞𝔩𝔣 𝔟𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯; 𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔩𝔩, 𝔢𝔞𝔠𝔥 𝔡𝔞𝔶 ℑ 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔰𝔥𝔢 𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔤𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔬 𝔬𝔭𝔢𝔫 𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔥𝔦𝔪. ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔡𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔞𝔪𝔢 𝔲𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔯𝔢𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫. 𝔏𝔞𝔡𝔶 ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔯

You speak of nothing else save him. You do not mention your affliction, you do not mention your everyday life, you speak only of your affections for Aegon.

The sun rises.

Daemon did not realize he fell asleep until a voice of a servant wakes him. It did not feel like he slept at all; he is still exhausted.

He groans as he sits up. He sees a servant girl staring at the thousand pages scattered across the room. He comes to a stand and begins pick up the papers, "do not mind this. Prepare me a bath. I will break fast with my wife."

The servant watches the prince clean up after himself. She curtsies and does what is instructed.

Daemon had stacked the letters by date as he read them and now tiptoed around the room, gathering the papers in chronological order. He grabs his trunk and files the papers there. By the time he is finished, his trunk is stuffed and his bath water is barely warm.

Neither did the bath wake him fully, nor did it refresh him. What's worse was the scent of his soap broke forth dam of memories for it smelled like you. Resentment for his own folly began to choke him with tears.

His face scarcely resembled him. His angular features were softened with woe, namely his eyes. He cared little for the puffiness rendered him by his tears as he made his way over to your room.

Arryk and Erryk instantly spot him, both of them raising their brows and curling their lips at the look of the prince.

"Is my wife awake?" Daemon asks once he is before them, voice telling of how he had clearly been crying.

Neither of them find sympathy, only disgust and irritation. Erryk particularly despises how readily he refers to you as his wife; he was just a stranger, an evil-doer you had tragically married, "do you see that she's awake?"

Arryk's jaw tenses at his brother's response. He slowly turns to him with knit brows.

Daemon is numb to their hostility, too wrapped up in his self-loathing, "it is nearly noon. Doesn't she wake earlier than this?"

"Yes," Erryk instantly responds, "she did three years ago."

The prince stills. He now recognizes the twins' acrimony. He takes in a breath; he has no desire to start a fight, not when he's freshly just read about your affections for them and how they cared for you in his absence. Daemon wipes his face then raises a hand, "alright. Let me pass. I will wait for her to rouse."

The twins' shoulders hit each other as they block the prince's passage. Arryk tilts his head, "rest does not come easy to her. It would be best if she is not disturbed."

"I will not disturb her," Daemon quips, "I said I would wait for her to rouse."

Erryk raises a brow and motions, "of course, my prince. Feel free to wait for her out here with us."

Daemon stiffens. He grinds his teeth as he debates the truth of the sentiment. He stares at them.

They stare back.

He shakes his head and storms off.

Erryk scoffs in disgust, clutching his scabbard. Arryk scowls at the prince then his brother, "you dunce. This is what we want, for him to go to her."

"Yes," Erryk eyes Daemon hotly, willing his body be burned by his glare, "yet watch how easily he retreats. He wants only to go to her for his own sake, not because he wants to see her."

"Erryk," Arryk places a hand on his arm, "you overstep."

Erryk turns to his brother, "I step my foot exactly where it should be." He looks forward, "if he really wants to see her, he would come back."

And he was right. Daemon really wanted to see you. Why then would he waste his time and patience in quarrelling with your wards when he could simply take the hidden entrance to your chambers? He knew the passages well, after all; this was his home.

Daemon's senses are flooded as he emerges from the darkness.

Your fragrance is nearly tangible to him. He walks towards your vanity and takes a vial of your body oil. He inhales deeply, feeling warmth cascade through his body. He smears a bit on his philtrum. He missed this.

He sets the vial down and brushes his fingers over your jewelry. He takes the robe hung on your vanity chair and smells it. His eyes begin to water. He hangs it back in its place and finally, finally, he turns to you, throat uncomfortably tight.

Your brown hair is fanned out behind you. Your skins glows with invitation to be caressed.

He kneels beside you the way you did before your beloved statue of the Mother. He scratches his eyes when his tears begin to fog his vision. He strokes the back of his hand down your cheek. He fixes the blanket around you.

He watches you intently. He so badly wants to bury his face into the crook of your neck, to feel you, to smell you, to kiss you, but even he knew it was selfish; even he could admit he was undeserving.

The memory of the very first time he had ever beheld your sleeping form plays in his mind as you act it out in real life. Your lips and forehead curl; you stir slightly in your spot. He sighs when the corner of your closed eyes begin to water.

Daemon wipes your tears away, speaking the same words he spoke you then, "amīvindigon sesīr isse ēdrugon." Tormented even in sleep. He strokes your cheek and hair, "mundagon riña." Miserable girl.

He cannot help himself any longer. He shifts on his knees and moves in to press a kiss upon your temple. He leans his forehead on you, closing his eyes to savor your presence.

All is still.

All is solemn.

That is, until you begin to fuss.

You mutter incoherences and begin to moan.

He squeezes your shoulder and kisses you again, "gīda ilagon, ñuha jorrāelagon." Calm down, my love.

You moan out in response.

He pulls his head back with and opens his eyes. You moan again and it becomes clear that you were moaning a name.

"Alyrie."

A line forms between his brows.

"Alaeric."

He feels his chest tighten. What?

You moan as your arms reach out, "stay."

Daemon pulls back, eyes burning with tears. You repeat those names and a pit forms in his stomach, deep and dark. You whine as you embrace your pillow. He watches you press your lips into your pillow. He hears you mutter, "love you."

His throat constricts and he clenches his jaw. He does not like this dream.

You speak those names again and he pulls back, deciding he's had enough. He repeats it, mutters under his breath what he thinks he heard you say, "Arryk and Erryk." After all, how would he know the names Alyrie and Alaeric when you couldn't bare to even think of them, let alone mention them?

And just as he did moments ago, he wastes no time.

Daemon storms away, grabbing a pitcher of water on his way. He is upon them the moment he throws the doors open.

Before either brother can react, one has a pitcher bashed to the back of his head, and the other is kicked from behind. Shrieks pierce the air; your incoming servants witness the brutal onslaught.

All that was not enough to wake you, nothing would.

You startle awake, terrified out of your mind. Not only did you wake from a melancholic slumber, you wake to the sound of screams and battery.

Daemon would have managed to knock out the brothers had they not worn helmets. Still, the blow to the back of Arryk's head left him in a daze and Erryk, who was kicked from behind and shot off to the parallel wall, was no better.

The prince focuses on the closer twin who managed to face him. He kicks Arryk on the chest, knocking him down. He quickly climbs upon his felled body and removes his helmet before splitting his knuckles on his face. He manages to land two punches before he is throttled to the ground by the other Cargyll.

Erryk did not mean to merely subdue him, he was eager to retaliate. He crushes his knee into the prince's back, squeezing the air out of him before flipping him over, intent on breaking his nose at the very least.

Erryk underestimated the raging sense of betrayal that fuels his opponent.

Daemon manages to grab Erryk's neck and squeezes it with all his might. The latter begins to choke but he thrusts his shin-guard into the prince's side, giving him little choice but to scream and loosen his hold due to the the pain.

Erryk finds the upper hand in no time. He pries Daemon's hands off him and launches a right hook. The prince shields his head, still, the knight manages to land some nasty punches.

"ERRYK!" Arryk shouts, prying his brother off. He drags his brother away, and in that moment, you emerge from your room, running barefoot in nothing but your shift.

You notice the twins first, for they were closer to your door. You release a horrified sound at the sight of them. They look at you with hard faces as you walk over, "what is the meaning of this?!"

Erryk shrugs his brother off and points an accusing finger, "the prince attacked us from behind!"

You turn to where he points.

Blood trickles down Daemon's face as he struggles to get on his knees. His lips are busted, nose ruptured, eye swollen. Your face falls at the sight of him. He looks horrendous, even worse than what Gwayne looked like when he fell from his horse during the tourney. A dozen horrible memories begin to flood you. You clutch your chest as you feel it tighten.

Erryk continues, "we would not let him disturb your sleep, but he managed to sneak into your bedroom-"

"What?" you turn to him.

"- then he attacked Arryk with a pitcher," Erryk points to the pitcher on the floor that laid beside a puddle of water, "then he kicked me on the back."

You turn to Arryk, finding his hair, neck, and armor wet. You whimper and wipe your face. You snap at Daemon, "what is wrong with you?!"

You watch your husband come to his feet.

He clutches his side and grunts out your name.

Goosebumps shroud you.

Daemon shudders as he walks over, "gaomagon ao jorrāelagon nyke?" Do you love me?

You instinctively step back where the Cargylls step forward. Your face curls in mortification. Your lips wobble and you shake your head in disbelief. You repeat, "what the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"Gaomagon..." Daemon lowers his head, "ao ēdrurys yno?" Do you dream of me?

You knit your brows tightly. You grit your teeth and clench you fists. You take a step towards him.

He lifts his gaze when you do.

A shiver runs down your spine as he speaks your name.

"Īlē mirre hen ēdrurys nyke mi—" You were alll of the dreams I ev-

You slap him before he can finish his words.

The blood from Daemon's nose sputters to the wall. The action hurts more than the act. He does not look back at you.

You are trembling, neither from your affliction or fear, but out of pure, blinding wrath. You do not tear your gaze from Daemon though you do not speak to him, "the both of you go to the maester's ward."

Arryk and Erryk nod and regard you, "princess."

"Drag him with you," you blurt, turning to your open door, "I will be there shortly after dressing."

[dreamlandbarnes]

f1 fic recs

a compilation of all the fics i've been reading in the f1 rpf tag on ao3! please leave comments and kudos for the authors, and check the tags before reading. sorted by pairing, and summary and word count are provided. none of these fics are mine.

if your fic is on here and you want it removed, please let me know!

charles leclerc / max verstappen

bloodsport by 140445 | 37,711 words | M

“I don’t care about then, you are here now,” Charles says. “You are on my side now.” Max is on his side. It’ll feel like that, too, at some point. Surely. Or: Max and Charles as teammates for the 24 hours of Le Mans.

such murderous and vengeful desire by foggystars | 20,676 words | E

Where Carlos’ girlfriend has her fingers crossed, keeps covering her eyes as if she can’t bear to watch, Max is focused, mouth set in a hard line. He’s leaning in, balancing on the edge of his seat. To anybody else he looks intent, focused on the screen. To Charles, he looks like a bird, poised to take wing. Like he’s about to fly right through the screen and take the steering wheel from Charles’ clumsy hands, get in there and drive the car himself. When Max Verstappen suffers a career ending injury, he pours all his effort into turning his old rival, Charles Leclerc, into a worthy champion. Five years and two world championships later, they finally decide to talk about it.

like in love with me by linearity | 7,800 words | T

Austria 2019, a two-person house party, Abu Dhabi 2021, a silly lover’s quarrel, and a stove-side morning proposal.

Anonym by additiv | 13,971 words | E

The truth is, Max finds Charles unbelievably annoying. He’s chaotic and unpredictable. He’s staring at Max across the room one moment, and in the next, seems to have forgotten he exists. He swaps clothes with people at random, whipping off his faded Gucci t-shirt in the middle of the dance floor, to trade it for some girl’s crop top, laughing and crowding close to block the view of her body while they make the exchange. When he disappears to the bathroom, Max never knows whether he’ll reappear with glitter on his eyelids, or white powder on his nose. He flirts with every person in the room, and probably sleeps with them too. He ignores Max completely, then goes home with him. He’s always gone when Max wakes up; nothing left behind, nothing missing. He refuses to stay the night, but refuses to let Max get over him. And, he refuses to let Max know anything about him.

when you cut me open by triangularity (linearity) | 44,900 words | E

Well, Charles concedes, miserably. He did die last night. A few days staying with his vampire ex-boyfriend probably isn’t the worst thing he’ll have gone through in January.

a life in your shape by weiwuxian (BreathOfDream) | 29,431 words | E

“Oh god, not you,” Charles groans, crossing his arms on his chest. The Batman visibly rolls his eyes (blue, of course, because all men that messed with Charles’ life had that in common apparently) at his reaction, but another look at Charles makes him step closer. “Yes, always a pleasure. Are you ok?” or: 5 times both Max and the Batman makes Charles' life a lot more complicated than needed + 1 time he doesn't

Frecheit by additiv | 208,723 words | E

The first time that Max heard the name Charles Leclerc was in 2022, just after winning his first WDC. Maybe it only stuck because he heard it twice in one night; first as Leclerc was announced as the 2022 F3 champion. Second, as Helmut lamented not signing him to the Red Bull driver development program. Now, Max is ready to put the newly-promoted Ferrari driver in his place. The problem is, Leclerc seems to think his place is on the top step of the podium. And he is not playing by the rules. An age-difference fic, where they never got to work out their differences as kids. 3-time WDC Max's experience of being personally victimised by baby-Charles.

in dream by 140445 | 81,025 words | E

Charles tried to figure out the dream on his own. In the morning he sat down with a cup of coffee, trying to make sense of what he had seen—he even googled it. Surely, Charles couldn't be the first or only person to dream about someone he shouldn't. But there were no search results for my professional rival is suddenly also my soulmate or soulmate dream of someone i'm not supposed to want???.  (In a world where soulmates identified each other by sharing a dream, Charles dreamt of the last person he expected.)

heart of the wind by pipitass | 13,830 words | M

There’s a slip of paper taped next to one of the doorbells — third floor, second door. It should, in theory, be the one directly across from his own. Max V. “Yes?” “Uh— hi.” He clears his throat. “It’s your neighbor. From across the street. Your, your clothes…” He doesn’t really know what to say after that. Hi, I got into a street fight with your bedsheets yesterday. Welcome to the neighborhood.

charles_leclerc ✔️ posted: 😘 by ninetqs | 11,500 words | M

Charles posts a photo with a mystery man and casually breaks the Internet in the process.

cameras in the traffic lights by c_e_1 | 9,958 words | M

Pop Crave @PopCrave • Aug 13 2023 Popstar Charles Leclerc has put his instagram on private after fans spotted Formula 1 driver Max Verstappen in the background of his vacation photos 303 comments | 1.6K retweets | 10K likes

(don't read) the last page by mintchocolatechip97 | 7,475 words | E

Max feels a light tap on his arm, and turns to see the beautiful door-opener, chestnut brown curls fluffed up on his head like he’s been running his hands through his hair. “I have been on a set a time or two,” the man says, trying and failing to wink, “but this is my first time in a writers room, so you are not the only rookie here.” He clearly speaks English fluently, but has a smidge of a European accent, which Max thinks might be French. “I’m sorry,” Max says, a little annoyed that this stranger is speaking to him as if they know each other, “I didn’t catch your name?” Several emotions flit over the man’s face, in such quick succession that Max can’t quite catch them all. In the end, he looks mortified. “Oh, I am so sorry,” he says, “This is going to sound terrible, like I am the worst kind of person, but I thought you would know who I was.” Dr. Max Verstappen gets hired as the expert medical consultant for a new Netflix show. Charles Leclerc, former teen heartthrob, stars.

all i know of love is hunger by 140445 | 28,509 words | E

Anger flares in Charles’ chest. Not the kind that he feels in the car, when he’s on Max’s tail, when they are braking late and later. The one that’s been looming over his head ever since Max announced his retirement. The one he hasn’t been able to tame until now, until he can give it a name. Betrayal.

hollywood and highland by japrufrocks | 26,730 words | E

Max had left New York a week before Charles had, seven days exactly. Max had gone to Hollywood; Charles had gone to a hospital. Now they're starring in the same film. Hollywood gives its darlings everything. It takes everything too.

straight lines (that unwind you) by 140445 | 16,330 words | E

“Do you know him?” Arthur asks. “No,” Charles decides. Because he does not. He knows Max is a mathematics major, and that he plays chess. And that he hits the gym. And what he looks like when he comes. Details.

all to play for by linearity | 49,300 words | E

Charles Leclerc is not at Red Bull to win races. He is here to win championships.

my thoughts will echo your name by witchee_writer | 38,826 words | M

“Do you think you’ll ever want to do Le Mans one day?” asked Max, glancing sideways at the man sitting next to him. Charles’ eyes lit up, a grin spreading across his face. “I think I want to win Le Mans one day.”

heart on your sleeve by nyoomfruits | 4,812 words | T

The thing about having a racing helmet that constantly displays your emotions for the whole world to see, is that you kind of get used to it after a while. These days Charles almost forgets it’s even a thing. Almost. But then he goes and falls in love.

ghost of you by nyoomfruits | 3,436 words | T

“All right, are you now finally ready to explain why four time world driver champion Charles Leclerc is currently in my living room?” Max says, as Charles towels off his hair. Charles pauses, lets the towel fall into his lap, stares at Max with wide eyes. “I’m sorry, did you say four time?”

The HR Situation by thearchercore | 3,027 words | Gen

Jacob found out many things during his first month in the new HR role - Mary and Connor from Aero Engineering were dating. Thomas and Nick from Comms got recently divorced and it's a sensitive subject. Eddie from Legal had to go to an Anger Management class but hasn't had any issues since his return. Oh, and also - Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc were fucking weird about each other. or: Charles and Max go to Mercedes and the HR Department is in shambles.

Sawtooth by nottonyharrison | 40,305 words | E

In another universe, Max rejected karting at the age of fifteen, no longer prepared to be a proxy for his father’s dream. He moved back to Belgium to live with his mum and sister, excelled at school, and eventually went on to complete a Masters of Mechanical Engineering. Now 27, after four years working for Alfa Romeo and Sauber, first as a junior performance engineer and then on the pit wall for Zhou Guanyu, he’s put forward for a job with Ferrari when Carlos Sainz is left without a race engineer thanks to the increasingly hectic F1 schedule. The problem is, Max has a crush on Carlos’ teammate. A huge, obvious, embarrassing crush that leaves him stumbling for words, face burning every time he’s within six feet of the guy. What makes it even worse is that sometimes he’s sure that Charles is looking right back.

leminiscate by weiwuxian (BreathofDream) | 27,799 words | E

Charles tries to imagine Max, on the opposite side of the kitchen. Eating bread too, like he did that first morning of the After—gross and charming. Tries to think about the way he would hold him, maybe. Of the softness of his lips, glossed by butter; and how he would laugh and push him away. His phone dings and he blinks himself awake once again.

achilles comes down by sincerelylancelot | 21,068 words | M

The World Championship trophy rests in his trembling hands, his name etched in fine gold. It isn't until he's staring down at it—his name nestled close to Max’s—that he realises his dreams have always been carved out of someone else’s pain. Jules. Max. And now, maybe even himself.

charles leclerc / carlos sainz jr

a bad recompense for your love by steviethenarwhal | 65,162 words | M

“I do not want to date you,” Charles says. Carlos’s eyes slide warily over to him. He tries to explain. “I do not date men. It would be… not smart.” “I don’t want to date you either,” Carlos says. “I do not date racecar drivers.”

translation theory by linearity | 9,500 words | E

Charles Leclerc, Ferrari’s golden boy, their Il Predestinato. He likes it up the ass and likes getting fucked by rockstars who have more tattoos than thoughts in their brains. What a fucking joke.

semiotic study by linearity | 8,600 words | E

Carlos knows. He knows what this is and what this is not. This is not romance, this is not love, but Charles makes it so easy to slip into that illusion. Charles makes it so hard, and Carlos cannot be without.

last night by venerat | 24,259 words | E

Rule #1: When you go to America, don't lose your virginity to your best friend's roommate. Charles fails Rule #1.

Good Boy by chiliconcarlos | 8,445 words | E

Really, it’s all Alex’s fault. ~~ Or: the one where Charles and Carlos want to settle the question of who's better in bed.

at the dinner table with god and my father by Cloudcollector | 4,599 words | M

There is a table in his house that knows more about him than his father. Or, Carlos and his father. And the family dinner table through the years.

win or lose (it's how you play the game) by chiliconcarlos | 18,321 words | E

It all starts because of a stupid bet.   Or: Carlos suggests a hickey bet for their '23 season, and it goes about how you'd expect.

darling by magnificentbirb | 6,579 words | T

The pet names begin as a joke.

carlos sainz jr / oscar piastri

take it or leave it by venerat | 6,771 words | E

r/relationships: My (22M) coworker (29M) keeps irritating me at work

he just turned in like i didn't exist by linearity | 36,500 words | E

Oscar doesn’t have a problem with his soulmate. It’s his soulmate who has the fucking problem.

Happy Death Race by powerfulowl (playmyace) | 28,390 words | E

Carlos gazes up at the fake blue sky. Dopey grin, contrapposto pose, head as empty as the cottony clouds above. “Look, look. Look, Piastri. It is always daylight.” Oscar imagines pushing him into the piss water canal. "Yeah, cool. Stop dying!" (Oscar is in a time loop and Carlos won't stop dying.)

when both our cars collide by buildyourfences | 8,483 words | M

It’s race day, which means his phone shouldn’t be ringing. And yet, it is. “Carlos, why are you not at the track yet? We are waiting for you.” “But–” “I sent you the updated schedule last night, please get here as soon as possible.” The call ends. He blinks down at the phone in his hand. Friday, March 1. Well, that’s not right. Carlos is trapped in a time loop. He can't stop crashing with Oscar.

at a constant speed by wisteriagoesvroom (bobaheadshark) | 11,676 words | E

“Are you close?” Oscar asks. “What does it look like?” “I wasn’t expecting it to be, uh, so…” What? Oscar wants to add. Hot? Desperate? Pathetic? All of the above? --- Or, carcar get themselves into a situationship, and it just keeps situating.

left a calling card so they would know that it was me by xxxdeerlordxxx | 6,139 words | E

Carlos continues to sit there, in the cockpit with his back to the wall, pieces of the torn advertisements raining down on him. He can see a big screen from where he’s at, the replays they show over and over, of Carlos spinning out, of Oscar driving away from the incident like nothing happened. Because of course no one believes him. But Carlos knows that Oscar’s to blame. Just not in the way people might think.

hatred cradles you by foggystars | 6,829 words | E

“You see?” Carlos asks, hanging up the phone. “He does not pick up.” Oscar shrugs, unsure why Carlos seems to think this is his problem. Just because Oscar’s his teammate doesn’t mean he knows where Lando is at all times, like some sort of twink-seeking missile. Then Carlos says, “I wait for him in here,” and nods to himself. He’s walking into Oscar’s hotel room before he can stop him, and all Oscar can do is blink stupidly at the empty stretch of hallway where Carlos once stood.

in midnight’s jaws by Springsteen | 30,806 words | E

Werewolves are fiction, the stuff of books and movies just like witches and zombies. Men do not turn into wolves, or fly on broomsticks, or raise the dead. There must be a logical explanation for the restlessness in Carlos's blood, for the waves of pain so sudden and intense it feels as though his bones are trying to break free of his body. Surely there is a perfectly good reason for Carlos to have woken in the dirt the morning after a full moon, with no idea where he is or how he got there. And surely there was a reason he turned to Oscar Piastri, of all people, for help.

pulling teeth by arboretics | 9,030 words | Not Rated

Oscar is very private, very in control. Carlos pretends he is both of those things, too. But after a late night collision in Baku 2024, things spiral between them into something straddling a game and an uncomfortable intimacy. A year on, Oscar and Lando are battling for the championship, Carlos is fighting for low points finishes, and Oscar loses his grip on the whole situation.

the better half of a good time by antimonyandthyme | 4,413 words | E

“Most guys, they look at the date.” He manages to make it sound both admiring and chiding. Oscar is very quickly losing control of this conversation. “Do you make a habit of just giving your license out? To every stranger you meet?” “Only those I really like.”

reckless attention by crescenteluce | 4,290 words | E

It’s probably on Oscar to be the bigger person here, to tell Carlos if he can’t do it sober, he shouldn’t be doing it at all. But that’s the thing about Carlos – he doesn’t exactly inspire Oscar to be the best version of himself.

george russell / max verstappen

winning mentality by linearity | 18,500 words | E

It’s not, like, a thing. It’s only happened twice, if you don’t count the time during the pre-season when Max shoved a thigh against George’s crotch, and George, touched-deprived and broken-hearted, let out a sharp gasp and came instantly. Max, looking shocked and frightened, stormed away.

cut your teeth by 140445 | 9,224 words | E

And that is the thing that brought George here. Eat or be eaten. It’ll happen either way. Maybe here, he will like the taste.

full throttle by calenmirel | 3,397 words | E

Later, Max will turn to him, meeting his gaze head on, and ask if George truly hadn’t seen him in his mirrors at turn eight, like George had claimed. He'll rub his hands on his racesuit as he says it, like he'll be rid of the phantom feeling of George's hair from between his fingers if he wipes them hard enough. George will look back at him, licking the taste of Max from the back of his teeth like he can savour it, and will reply, “of course I didn’t,” lying through his smile.

alexander albon / george russell

a feeling all brand new by ginnydear | 16,481 words | M

Alex is halfway through his sandwich when he starts to feel talkative, so he takes a sip of his tea and waits for Logan to finish chewing before he says what’s running through his mind at full speed. “I think I’m homophobic.”

nothing but teeth by crescenteluce | 25,057 words | E

“Oh, come on.” Alex says, poking George in the thigh again with his foot. “Don’t tell me you’ve never done a little-” Alex makes a complicated hand-wavy gesture that has the contents of his glass nearly sloshing over the sides. “At your fancy boy schools, a little stiff upper-lipped make-out amongst the chaps? In between rounds of cricket and fox hunting?”

carlos sainz jr / max verstappen

ease the madness by magnificentbirb | 12,231 words | M

Max signed away his soul on his sixteenth birthday.

pierre gasly / charles leclerc

a long time (maybe forever) by strongestavenger | 10,021 words | T

AITA: homophobic but only to my roommate/best friend? First of all, I swear I have never been a discriminatory person – I have lots of gay friends and my little brother is bisexual. I know that sounds stupid as hell but it’s my only defense right now. My problem is that I (Marc, 26M, straight) have a roommate (Jacques, 28M, gay), who has also been my best friend since we were kids, and I think I’ve started to feel homophobic towards him? (or: Charles needs some outside help to figure things out.)

miscellaneous / general / multi

One thousand laps of jeddah by in_in_in_in_in_in_in | 68,585 words | Gen

George feels sick for the whole ride to the track. He has no idea how he got from breakfast to the car, let alone how he shook off Alex. He knows that he said ‘for god’s sake, Alex, I’m not on drugs’ about a hundred times, even though he’s not at all sure that it’s the truth. What else could have happened to him? Did he dream the race last night?

eat them alive by linearity | 57,000 words | E

Oscar lost Lando a championship and left McLaren. There was still a year in between.

the condominium community committee by jusst_you_wait | 36,452 words | T

the condominium community - 2:36pm Oscar and Logan have been added to the chat George Hello, welcome to a group chat we have for the Formula apartment building! There are only 18 (20 now) of us so we like to keep in contact about the building maintenance and other neighbourly orders of business. I’m George, and I liaise with the building manager on behalf of all of us when there is a building specific issue rather than an apartment issue. Welcome to the building! Lando do u copy and paste that from ur notes every time Alex I bet he has it memorised ~ or, the ridiculous chat fic where the f1 grid all live in the same apartment building

temperature get to you by minieggs11 | 9,339 words | E

It’s Logan’s last ride of the night, it’s clearly two drunk tourists going back to their hotel. As long as they give him a five star rating, he doesn’t care what happens.

sugar and spice by pipitass | 10,785 words | E

“Do you know already? Who you’ll pick?” Oscar frowns. Eyes still closed, scrunched now. Sharp brows downturned, meeting in the middle of his face. “When you win.” The frown deepens for a second. Then his face releases, and he shrugs. Shuffles as he goes to lay down, kicking his shoes off before he brings them up so his toes are poking at Max’s thigh, settling in. “Someone nice.”

triple header by 140445 | 7,890 words | E

Because Oscar isn’t here with Charles. And he’s not here with Max. He doesn’t get it, this thing between Max and Charles. They look like they’re here together, share glances that make Oscar feel like an intruder—but Max brought Oscar back to the booth to sit with them. For Charles to flirt with him. As if it’s some kind of game, where Max brings back prey for Charles to take.

somebody else by piastrism | 31,252 words | E

Oscar misses the color lilac — the color of the twilight sky behind Charles as they drank wine on Sedici, and the long-faded color left behind on his hips by Max’s fingertips.

we'll take the shadows (since the limelight isn't ours) by magnificentbirb | 2,177 words | T

Lando hears the screech of tires on asphalt behind him, the distant crunch of carbon fiber colliding with a wall. He glimpses only the aftermath of the carnage—the dust and smoke, the flashing lights, the unmistakable gleam of bright red—and then he’s clear. And that’s when the seconds slow down.

possessed by light by Anonymous | 6,885 words | Gen

It is a lesson you learn alone. Or that you are supposed to learn alone. At some point you will look at yourself in the mirror and see not just flesh and blood. You will see the capabilities beyond that. You will see your body as a ladder to forever ascend, to always want more. You will see just what you’re made of—and you will realise it has to be used. You will learn not to waste it. Charles did not learn that on his own.

[really-fanny-longbottom]

a solstice to remember

summary: nothing could keep azriel from the place where he wants to be the most. pairings: azriel x reader words: 3.6k a/n: let's pretend i'm not like a week late with this fic, anyways, happy 2025!

velaris was beautiful during this time of the year.

the city was surrounded by snow, the houses decorated, the frozen river and the streets illuminated by bright lights. 

even the cold couldn't shake the magical atmosphere for the sounds of singing and laughing could be heard from the top of the mountains. 

it truly was a sight to behold.

but it was azriel who had the best view of all.

high in the sky, with a distant flapping of wings from the clouds, azriel flew over the beautiful city of starlight.

the stars kept him company on his return flight, and the wind that blew against his face, his wings, taking all his worries away, welcomed him back. 

there was nothing like home. 

if this were the old days, azriel wouldn't have hesitated in arranging some poor excuse and locked himself in his bedroom in the company of his shadows until morning arrived.

but things were different now—they had been different for quite a while. 

the sight of the house of wind came into his vision, soothing his heart, which azriel had carried heavy all day.  

he wasn't supposed to work today, but with last-minute information coming in through one of his spies, azriel couldn't postpone it.

a conversation with rhys had taken place. the brothers had discussed the best plan of action, both coming to the same conclusion.

and with that, azriel left at dawn with only a promise to try to return today.

a risky promise, knowing what was at stake, but one that he would do and did everything he could to keep. 

with a lighter heart, azriel landed happily on the house's porch. 

still in his spymaster attire, the male made sure to check that everything was in order before opening the double doors. 

the moment the doors opened, he was welcomed with all the scents and sensations he was grateful to experience.

the smell of roast meat, mashed potatoes and vegetables filled the air, the fire in the fireplace warmed the room and the decorations left no room for doubt as to which festivity they were celebrating. 

his family was already in the room, snuggled up in the comfort of the sofas with glasses of wine in hands and with brief conversations and laughter being exchanged. 

azriel closed the doors behind him before stepping forward.

"finally!" rhys exclaimed, a relieved smile appearing in his features. 

at his exclamation, all heads turned in azriel's direction, welcoming him with warm and kind smiles. 

cassian, ever the playful, "took you long enough. we were starting to wonder if we had to send a search party for you."

azriel chuckled, shaking his head while entering the room, "it was work, you know how it is." 

as he approached the sofas, rhys stood up, walking towards him.

"sorry for making you work today, brother," he apologized, a firm hand taking the place on his shoulder.

"nonsense," azriel was quick to reply, "we both know it was the right decision," he finished with a light pat on rhys's back.

rhys smiled, knowing it wasn't easy for his brother to be away from home for long periods of time, especially during the holidays, and now more than ever. 

"still, i'm glad you made it. it wouldn't have been the same without you here."

azriel was grateful for his words, more than he let on.

a raise of rhys's eyebrows allowed azriel to hear his brother's silent question—if everything had gone well and if he was okay.

a simple nod was all that was needed, and a quick hug was exchanged between the brothers, ending the conversation about work. 

"here," cassian said, handing him a glass of wine, "we've already started, so you'll have to hurry up to catch us."

azriel chuckled and shook his head, but before he could take a sip, he found himself looking around the room, his hazel eyes hoping to find a pair of green ones.

feyre smiled fondly at her brother-in-law, understanding the feeling all too well "looking for someone, az?" 

the corners of his lips rose, his heart skipped a beat at the thought of those green eyes. 

"indeed," he replied as his eyes kept traveling through the room "where's my girl?" 

and as if the universe had listened, there you were, entering the living room, helping elain to bring out the desserts.

as soon as he spotted you, azriel's heart melted.

affection and love filled his eyes, and shivers ran through his body.

after all this time, his body, his heart, and his soul, they all still reacted to you just as they did the very first time. 

"there she is," azriel said, his voice laced with adoration while setting his glass of wine on the table.

your eyes moved towards the sound—the first one you heard every morning and the last one you heard every night. 

azriel watched you as your features change from reserved and quiet to one of surprise and relief. 

"az!" you said and hurriedly to place the tray of food on the table before running into his arms— your safe haven. 

his heart skipped another beat as he saw the smile that lit up your face upon seeing him and the male didn't hesitate to hug you tightly, his face going down to your neck, inhaling your familiar scent. 

it was both adorable and terrifying, the effect you had on him, but azriel never complained—and he never would. 

"you made it," you said softly against his chest, where his heart was beating faster than he could fly. 

"of course," azriel replied, his scarred hands caressing your back before tangling in your hair. "i promised you, didn't i?" 

you responded by breaking the hug and cupping his face with your hands, your thumbs caressing his skin before pulling him in for a much needed kiss. 

azriel deepened the kiss, his hands grabbing your hips to pull you closer, however, the kiss was interrupted when your body pressed entirely against his and a small tap was felt by both of you.  

the shadowsinger pulled back slightly, a loving smile already plastered on his features "looks, like we have an intruder." 

you chuckled and rested your forehead against his, closing your eyes for a second to savor the moment, "it looks like we do." 

azriel's smile widened, he kissed your forehead, his lips lingering on your skin for a beat before looking down.

"hi, little one. daddy's here" he said, his large hand coming to rest over your small baby bump, running his fingers through it.

another kick was given, the baby clearly happy for their father's voice. 

chuckles erupted from the both of you, his hand continued his caress as he lowered his head down to plaster a kiss there.

his hazel eyes met yours when he stood to his full height again, his hand remaining on your bump.

"sorry for being late, love" his fingers caress your cheek, before grabbing a few loose strands and tucking them behind your ear "i tried to hurry up as quickly as pos-" 

you silenced him with a kiss on his lips, both of your hands finding his chest while his hand positioned on the back of your neck.

azriel's heart melted even more, you always knew how to disarm him, at any moment.

"the only thing that matters is that you're here, az," you ran your hand over his jaw, the touch soft and affectionate "the only thing."  

"you're right," he said, before lowering his head to your shoulder once more and placing a light kiss there.

he lifted his head moments later, his hazel eyes scanning the room, trying to find his own eyes in a smaller version. 

a smile graced your face, and you couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped you. 

"he's upstairs." 

azriel's eyes meet yours, behind them you could find a hint of nerves "how is he?"

you sighed, your heart clenching for the male in front of you. 

"a little sad for thinking that his daddy won't make it for winter solstice" you told him softly, your hand caressing the length of his back to help him relax in a way only you could. 

azriel sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration, "i hate to disappoint him." 

at that moment, despite being a little more serious, a laugh escaped you before you could hold it back.

azriel raised an eyebrow in question, his nerves being replaced by confusion. 

"what's so funny?" he asked you, squeezing your hip slightly.

"you're such an idiot" you answered him, another laugh leaving you.

at his reaction, you grabbed his face and looked into those beautiful hazel eyes.

"dorian it's not disappointed with you, azriel. he's sad, yes, but not disappointed. he thinks you're the coolest person of prythian, he wants to be like you when he grows up. you could never disappoint him." you explained, finishing with a light swat to his chest.

your words helped calm his heart. you knew more than anyone how insecure azriel still felt about fatherhood.

even though your son was already five years old, there were still times when he didn't feel worthy of you, or dorian, or the life you had managed to build together. 

it was in moments like these where he needed you the most, your words were more powerful than any other's.

"you're right," he told you, his hand running up and down your hips. "i'll go upstairs, telling him that i'm here." 

when azriel turned to head for the stairs, you were quick to grab his hand and pull him towards you.

"let me go," you told him, "i'll tell him that one of his presents arrived earlier and bring him down." 

a big smile invaded the male's features, excitement running through his veins "yeah, okay."

you kissed his cheek before letting go of his hand and walking upstairs.

azriel kept his eyes on you as you left the room and headed for the stairs.

his eyes studied your purple dress and how the color only helped to highlight your beauty even more, how your hair had gotten longer since you decided to grow it out over the summer, how you always have one hand resting on your bump, and the golden ring with a cobalt blue stone as you placed your other hand on the railing of the stairs. 

he watched you, with a goofy smile, as you disappeared up the stairs and his attention was drawn to cassian when he imitated the sound of a whip. 

laughter reached his ears, and the male let his head fall in defeat, knowing exactly what was in store for him.

"oh, you're whipped, brother," cassian told him as he watched his brother join them on the couch. 

azriel sighed as he took a sip of his wine, shaking his head in response to cassian's comment. he didn't even bother to deny it, knowing clear as a blue sky that he was hopelessly whipped for you.

as he leaned further into the couch, cassian leaned forward, resting his arms on his thighs.

"i have to say, i never thought i'd see the day where azriel," he began, a smirk forming on his lips.

"...the feared shadowsinger, the ruthless spymaster, the most brooding illyrian," he continued, earning chuckles from every member of the family, especially the said male.

azriel rolled his eyes, and crossed his arms over his chest, knowing very well there was no way of stopping his brother, so he embraced the teasing.

"...would be completely whipped by a female." cassian finished, winking a eye in his direction while taking another sip of his wine.

azriel barked a laughter. he didn't correct cassian because there was nothing to correct, everything the general said was true.

he himself had not imagined the day where something like this would be possible—but here they were.

"i never thought about it either," azriel replied, a fond smile on his face, his eyes locked on cassian's.

cassian's face softened at his words, he knew that despite his teasing, the words carried nothing but truth and he couldn't be happier to be that way.

"i bet it feels damn good," the general said, raising his glass in the direction of his brother.

"it does," azriel said on his turn, mimicking cassian's gesture "it really does, it's the best feeling in the world."

they both drink to that, a feeling of gratitude passing through both of them for the life that, after everything they faced, they managed to have. 

azriel couldn't help but smile, his eyes flickering towards the doorway you had just disappeared moments ago. 

•••

as you reached the top of the stairs, the sound of giggles and lively conversation echoed through the hallway. 

as you made your way down the hallway, you smiled softly, your heart warming at the sound of the children enjoying their playtime.

when you reached the door, you stood there for just a moment to hear another set of giggles, a small chuckle escaping you.

you opened the door and were greeted with the sight of your nephews.

"auntie!" nyx exclaimed, dropping his toys to the floor to come wrap his arms around your leg in greeting.

your other nephew, kaden, followed nyx shortly, hugging your other leg.

"hi, auntie!" kaden said, showing you his big toothless smile.

"hi, sweethearts," you caressed their heads, "you're boys having fun?" you asked with a smile mimicking theirs.

"yeah!" the boys answered in union before returning to the floor, definitely to finish their toy's mission.

your eyes stayed on them for a little longer before your attention was drawn to the side and settled on your son.

dorian was seated a little further from his cousins—sadness was evident in his eyes, his head was resting on his hand while the other one was fiddling with the toy. 

the sight made your heart ache, so little he was and yet he already felt such great emotions. 

you approached him, one hand on your baby bump while the other held the skirt of your dress.

you knelt in front of him, your hand caressing his back carefully to not hurt his little wings.  

"hi, baby" you said, your voice gentle and calm.

your voice drew dorian's attention and he lifted his head and you found you "hi, mommy."

your eyes locked on his hazel ones, the same ones you had fall in love with "still sad about daddy leaving for work?"

dorian sighed before nodding his head, his eyes dropping to the floor.

"yes," he murmured, his small voice filled with sadness, "he should be here." 

your fingers found his hair, the one he had inherent from you, and caressed it in a soothing manner.

"i know it's hard, baby," you spoke softly, your tone comforting him, "but daddy's job is important. he didn't want to leave today, you know that right?" 

dorian's eyes flickered to meet yours, a hint of understanding making it's way on his features.

"i know, but i still miss him," dorian whispered, leaning into your touch.

a small smile formed on your lips, and you gave him a mischievous look.

"well, what if i told you that one of your presents arrived earlier?" 

dorian's eyes lit up at your words and he moved closer to you, his small hands reaching out to touch your baby bump. 

"sissy?" he asked you, his sadness being replaced with excitement.

despite not knowing the baby's gender, dorian had been convinced since the very moment you and azriel had broken the news that he was going to be a big brother, that he was having a baby sister.

a small chuckle escaped you at his eagerness "no, my love. it's not your sister, she's still going to take a little longer to get here" you caressed his chubby cheek with your thumb.

his eyes fell at your words but you were quickly to intervene "but," you started, his eyes lifting immediately to find yours "this present is much better." 

his face light up at that, and your smile widened, seeing that your sweet boy was no longer sad.

"do you want to come see it?" 

dorian nodded his head eagerly "yes, mommy" he said and a beat later, he was on his feet.

you laughed and got up too, extended your hand towards him which he didn't hesitate to hold onto.

"let's go then," you said as you led him towards the door.

when you opened the door, you turned around to look at your nephews "you boys come too. it's almost dinner time." 

at the mention of food, kaden got up almost as fast as the speed of light, his toys now forgotten on the floor—he really was cassian's son.

you let the boys go ahead of you, keeping an eye on them so they wouldn't get any ideas about doing something reckless on stairs. 

as dorian walked down the stairs, he suddenly stopped when azriel's voice came from the living room.

your son lifted his head to look at you, "daddy?" 

your response was a smile, and you had to quicken your pace as dorian began to descend the stairs faster, taking you with him.

as you entered the room, his eyes began to search for azriel and you only had a second to register his happiness before he let go of your hand and ran towards your husband. 

"daddy!" he shouted, his voice filled with joy.

azriel's lip formed a smile the moment he son your son running towards him.

the male stood up just in time to catch the little boy who threw himself into his arms, the little boy's arms wrapping tightly around his neck.

"hey, sweetheart," azriel said, hugging dorian just as tightly.

dorian snuggled into his father's embrace, his face on his neck "you're here!" he exclaimed, his excitement echoing through the walls.

"of course," azriel replied, his hand caressing your son's back "i promised you and your mommy, didn't i?"

"yes, yes!" dorian confirmed, too excited to contain his happiness.

your heart melted at the sight, grateful for having your two favorite boys with you.

you approached them, your hand going to dorian's hair and ruffle it a little "did you like your present?" 

dorian lifted his head to look at you, his smile never flattering "yes, best present ever!" 

at the mention of presents, the other boys couldn't contain themselves.

"when can we open the presents?" kaden asked from his seat on nesta's lap.

"soon, we still have to eat dinner first, son." cassian told him, ruffling his hair.

"can't we just have dinner later?" nyx insisted, more than ready to open his presents.

the boys eyes flickered between the adults and all the presents gathered under the tree. 

even dorian couldn't hide his eagerness to open his.

you, living up to the title of coolest aunt, had no choice but to back up the children "since we're all here, we might as well take advantage and open the presents." 

the children cheered and didn't waste another second before launching themselves towards their presents.

your heart swelled with love and affection, seeing that dorian was happy, his sadness from earlier completely forgotten.

you and azriel observed as he opened his presents, his face lit up.

your arms wrapped around azriel's waist, pulling him closer to you "thank you."

azriel's hands found their place on your hips, as they belong there "for what?" 

you studied his features before answering softly "for keeping your promise." 

azriel's eyes softened, his heart filled with pride and love "of course, there's nowhere else where i would rather be than here." 

you couldn't help the small blush that painted your cheeks and drew a chuckle of amusement from azriel. 

you leaned forward to peck his lips, enjoy your little bubble of love for a little longer.

"i love you," you whispered to him.

he rested his forehead against yours, his hands leaving your hips and finding your baby bump.

"i love you more."

you didn't try to argue with him, knowing already how azriel had about a thousand arguments to use in his favor and how he was the one who loved you more.

with a small peck to his nose, you reluctantly pulled away. 

azriel took a seat on the sofa, pulling you to sit on his lap while you both watched your son opening his presents.

cassian passed his present to dorian, a box so big it was almost the size of the little boy.

"that's a big present, dorian. what is it?" azriel asked, his arm coming to surround your waist.

you looked at cassian, silently asking him what could he possibly have got dorian that needed a box so big.

when he replied to you with a mischief grin and a wink of an eye, you knew you were in trouble.

"oh, no," you mumbled.

nyx and kaden let out small gasps as dorian's face lit up so much that it could have been a shooting star. 

"it's a guitar!" dorian exclaimed with widened eyes and a bright smile.

you and azriel freezed, your mouths slightly opening, not believing what you had just heard.

you both looked at cassian at the same time. 

the general dismissed you with a shrug of his shoulders "what? dorian is the baby of the family, he deserves special presents."

you and azriel kept looking at him dumbfounded, your reaction making everyone laugh.

"oh, this is priceless," rhys said, taking a sip of his wine.

 nesta patted your knee, her face red from laughter "good luck."

you and azriel looked at each other speechless, but you didn't have time to try to say something when the sound of the guitar reached your ears.

"this is so cool! thank you, uncle cass!" dorian exclaimed.

"you're welcomed, kiddo," cassian replied while ignoring the glares he was receiving from you and azriel.

he was enjoying this entire situation too much to care about your death stares.

however, when on the following winter solstice, you and azriel offered kaden a drum set, cassian didn't find it that funny.

masterlist

general taglist: @emryb @fantasyandshit @azrielover @shadowsingercassia @littlelou22 @brieflyclassymortal @lilah-asteria @meul-a @lure-of-writing @pruvii @olive-main @mybestfriendmademe @anuttellaa @mrsjna @lively-potter @avajustreads @talesofadragon @circe143 @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @dark-chaos-314 @tequilya @scoliobean @saltedcoffeescotch @charlotteintumbleland @agirlwithwifiandalaptop @987coley

*if you asked to be tagged and you weren't, it's because i couldn't find your blog.

dividers by @cafekitsune

[inkedinshadows]

A Matter of Firsts

Day 2: Virginity loss — Cassian x f!reader

Warnings: oral (f receiving), fingering, p in v

Word count: 2.229

A/N: my first non-Azriel fic ever! Both nervous and excited eheh

Things had never gone this far with Cassian.

You had exchanged heated kisses, hands had explored underneath clothes, but never before had you let things escalate so much.

Today felt different. You had thought about it a lot over the past few days and you had come to the conclusion that you wanted more. You and Cassian had been dating for a few months now, and he was the sweetest guy you could ever wish for. You knew he was the one with whom you wanted to share your first time.

When he walked you home after your date, you asked him if he wanted to spend the night. It wasn’t anything you hadn’t done before, but it usually didn’t go beyond cuddles and the occasional fondling.

But now you were straddling his lap, your lips locked in a passionate kiss that you broke only so you could take off your shirt. Cassian’s eyes widened when your bra came off next.

He swallowed, and you could have sworn his fingers twitched where they rested on your thighs. He didn’t touch you, though. He didn’t do anything besides slowly looking up at your face.

“Sweetheart,” he said softly. “Are you sure about this?”

His concern and gentle tone warmed your heart, bringing a smile to your lips—though it was a nervous one.

“I am,” you replied, fingers threading through his long hair. “I really like you, and I want you to be my first, Cass.”

Cassian’s grin was as bright as the sun. “I like you too.” He pulled you in for a soft kiss. “Thank you for trusting me, Y/N.”

His attention turned back to your exposed breasts, and you shivered as his callused hands caressed up your sides, stopping short of touching them.

“May I?” he murmured.

You nodded, your voice barely audible. “Yes.”

He immediately cupped the supple flesh, thumbs brushing over your nipples. Your eyes fluttered and you exhaled deeply. He had touched you before, but there had always been some kind of fabric in between, whether it was your shirt or your bra. Now, the slightest touch sent thousands of little shivers right down to your core.

Cassian didn’t waste much time. His tongue soon shot out to flick your nipple, eliciting a small moan from you. His mouth then closed around it and he rolled it between his lips until it was hard and perky. You were already breathing a bit more heavily when he moved to the other and repeated the process.

“Cass…” you sighed.

He trailed kisses up your collarbone and then your neck, until his mouth found your again. “You are… so beautiful,” he whispered against your lips.

You couldn’t help the heat rising to your cheeks, and he must have noticed it too because he chuckled, cupping your face and gently kissing you again. “Will you lay down for me, sweetheart?”

After pressing your lips to his one more time, you climbed off and settled down next to him, careful to avoid brushing against his wings as you did. Cassian waited for you to be comfortable, watching you move around with a soft smile on his beautiful face, and then his hands were on you, running down your stomach until they reached the hem of your pants.

He looked up at you again. “Can I take them off?”

Once again, you simply nodded. You lifted your hips to help him slide them down your legs and watched as he slowly draped them over the footboard of your bed.

Now only your panties covered you.

Cassian let his gaze wander over your almost naked body, but he didn’t pounce on you the way you had imagined he would. Instead, he took his time to caress your legs, gently parting them so he could kneel in between. Even then, he only lifted one leg to plant a trail of kisses that started at your ankle and descended all the way to your inner thigh.

You swallowed, breath itching as his eyes remained locked on yours the entire time. Each new kiss left a trail of goosebumps in its wake and seemed to make your core throb in anticipation. You could feel wetness pooling there.

When Cassian finished kissing your other leg and his mouth was close to your panties, he brushed them with the tip of his nose, breathing in deeply. You shivered again.

He didn’t speak this time, but you read the silent question in his eyes when he looked up at you again.

“Yes,” you whispered. “Take them off.”

He smiled, placed one last kiss right on the thin fabric, and then proceeded to remove it completely. Before settling down again, he also took off his shirt, revealing his chiseled body and the swirling tattoos that you liked to trace with your fingertips when you cuddled in the morning.

Cassian’s wings rustled behind him as he lay down again and spread your legs a bit more.

“Just relax, sweetheart,” he murmured. His hands were on your hips, drawing lazy circles over them. “We can stop whenever you want.”

You hadn’t realized just how tense and nervous you were at the thought of what was about to happen. Not that you were having second thoughts, but it was still your first time. No one had ever touched you like this before. And the way Cassian was doing everything he could to take things slow, to ensure you were comfortable… you might have fallen in love with him right then and there.

You let out a deep breath, feeling the tension leave your body as you exhaled. You then reached out to take one of his broad hands in yours.

“I don’t want to stop,” you assured him with a smile.

Cassian squeezed your fingers. “Alright, then,” he smirked. “Let me make you feel real good.”

He lowered his head, and then he was licking a stripe up your center. You didn’t know who groaned first as you arched slightly off the bed, but it was the best thing you had ever felt in your whole life. And it only got better when Cassian’s restraint seemed to snap at the lewd sounds that came out of your mouth: his lips closed around your clit and he gently sucked on it while his hand on your stomach held you down, the other one still entwined with yours.

“Cass…” you mumbled incoherently, unable to stay still, too lost to the pleasure.

He paused as he heard you, looking up at you with a newfound concern in his hazel eyes. Before he could ask if you were alright, you gave his hand a gentle squeeze and smiled down at him.

“I’m okay, I just…” You paused, trying to find the right words. “I need more, please.”

The sight of his head between your legs, his eyes on you, and a smirk on his lips threatened to make you crumble.

“As you wish, sweetheart,” he murmured against you.

His tongue resumed its circling of your clit, but his free hand now joined in too. Keeping his gaze on you to make sure you were fine, Cassian probed your entrance with a finger, pushing it inside only when you nodded. You gasped at first, but quickly relaxed around him, allowing him to pump it in and out slowly.

You were racing toward an edge you had no idea could be so close, and right when you thought it couldn’t get better than this, Cassian added a second finger and curled them inside you, hitting a spot so sensitive that you tumbled over.

A loud moan broke free as you came, squeezing his hand so tight that it probably hurt, but you couldn’t think about anything other than his mouth and fingers still moving, and the white-hot pleasure that washed over you.

Cassian’s ministrations slowed to a stop as you came down from your high. Panting, you watched him sit up straight and lick your release off his digits and chin.

“You taste delicious, you know that?”

You let out a breathy chuckle as he climbed up your body, holding himself up with his elbows on either side of your head. You stretched your neck to kiss him softly.

“Thank you, Cassian.” You ran your fingers through his hair. “That was… amazing.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” He peppered your face with kisses until you were giggling again. “And thank you for trusting me.”

Your hands traveled down his sculpted body to hover near his crotch. “What if I want it all?” you whispered, biting your lip in an attempt to hide a sheepish smile.

Cassian just pressed his mouth to yours one last time before moving off you and standing up to remove his pants.

“Then you shall receive,” he said as his underwear was dropped to the floor and his body was revealed to you in all its glory.

He looked like an ancient statue with all that muscle, and the wings, and the defined jawline. The hard cock—bigger than you had expected. Your eyes widened slightly at the sight, but Cassian only chuckled, eager to keep things going.

Once he was settled again between your legs, though, he paused. “I just need to ask one more time if you’re sure.”

Your gaze returned to his face, warmth blooming in your chest as you offered him the sweetest smile you could muster. “I’m sure. I want you, Cass.”

“I want you too.”

He leaned down to kiss you, and then he gently guided the head of his cock inside you.

It was hard—so astonishingly hard that you winced and shut your eyes. But Cassian went slowly, pushing in only a few inches at a time and pausing to let you adjust around him. He left tiny kisses all over your face—from your jaw to your temple, from your lips to your closed eyelids—and he kept murmuring tender words to soothe you through it all as his hands caressed your body.

Still, a part of you wanted to cry. But not at the painful burn that came with every thick inch of him, rather at the sweetness of it all. Of him. And when Cassian was finally fully seated inside of you and the discomfort gave way to a warm feeling deep in your stomach, you opened your eyes and smiled up at him.

“Are you okay?” he asked even as he smiled back, brushing some hair out of your face. “Did I hurt you?”

You shook your head. “No… no, it’s gone, I think. I’m alright. Can you try to move?”

Cassian obeyed, giving a tentative roll of his hips that had you both moaning. It stung a bit, but it diminished when he did it again, and by the fourth, careful thrust, there was only pleasure left.

“Gods, it feels… you feel incredible,” you breathed as he set a slow, steady pace.

Cassian chuckled. “And you feel perfect around me, sweetheart.”

It was everything you had dreamed it would be—and then some. You began to move with him, legs wrapped around his waist, hands exploring and holding on to each other. His lips never left yours unless it was to kiss or nip at your neck, and he picked up the rhythm as soon as you asked him. Pants and moans echoed in the room alongside the sound of his hips slamming into yours, but you particularly liked the groans that slipped past Cassian’s lips every time you clenched around him.

When his fingers found your clit again, you knew you wouldn’t last much longer.

“Cassian…” you whimpered. “I— I think I’m close…”

He pulled away from where he was kissing your throat and he retreated to his knees, your legs draped over his powerful thighs. With the new angle, you could feel him deeper inside you and it made your eyes roll back.

“Let go, sweetheart,” he purred, fingertips dancing faster over your sensitive clit. “Come around me.”

You shuddered then, crying out as you arched off the bed. If you thought coming on his tongue and finger was amazing, then you had no words to describe how it felt to come on his cock. You were writhing beneath him, legs shaking and walls squeezing him while he kept fucking you through it all, his own groans louder and louder.

Cassian waited for you to calm down and sink back on the mattress before thrusting a few more times and pulling out. You whined at the sudden absence, a complaint about to roll off your tongue until you saw him fist his own cock. You watched in silence as he pumped himself once, twice, and then a stream of his warm seed coated your stomach with the third stroke.

Breathing heavily, you stared at each other for a moment, just smiling and enjoying the lingering ecstasy of your orgasms.

You sat up on wobbly legs to face him better and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “That was… life-changing.”

His laugh boomed in the now-silent room as he gathered you in his arms. “You don’t know how happy that makes me. No doubt the best compliment I have ever received.” He kissed your forehead, then stood up to walk to the bathroom, still cradling you to his muscular chest. “Now let’s go get you cleaned up, sweetheart.”

General taglist: @mrsjna @navyblue-eternity @paintedbyshadows @highladyandromeda @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @azrielsmate3 @mollygetssherlockcoffee @mirandasidefics @tinystarfishgalaxy @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @anarchiii @readinggeeklmao @anneas11 @azrielslittleslut @lilah-asteria @aaahhh0127 @lorosette @azrielsrealmate @pey2618 @mellowmusings

Kinktober taglist: @thyellablackk @p1nkfluffysocks @maddieboo8 @a-courtof-azriel @whataenginerd @loviseamms @chaconnelatte @okaytrashpanda @scarsandallaz

[vinelark]

Hello! Was going through your fic rec tag and saw someone asked for your favorite pangy Jason fics, and was wondering if I could request the same but with Tim instead?

okay, you’ve asked the golden question for me, because tim pangs are my favorite pangs—and this fandom has such an abundance of them. i had to narrow this list down so much, and tried to focus on fics where the pangs feel like a core part of the story for me. i came up with a mix of go-to recs that have definitely appeared on this blog before and some stories i don’t think i’ve mentioned yet. so here we go, serving up some tim pangs:

Like a Hinge, Like a Wing by @bonesbuckleup

tim joins the batfamily early, and in one of the pangiest ways possible. featuring an actual uncle and tim being so very isolated and alone (until he isn’t!)—excellent recipe for great and sustained pangs. i rec this one often and for good reason: i love the characterization of this pre-robin tim (smart! competent! lonely! believably a kid!), the writing is fantastic, and it still hits on each reread.

A Meditation on Railroading by @eggmacguffin

another one of my favorite rereads—this is all about robin-era tim being hurt in his home/civilian life and trying to deal with that on his own, because he’s drawn a clear line between “robin” and “tim.” this is pangs galore—from tim’s positioning of himself in relation to the bats (especially bruce and dick), to the large and small ways he is hurt + how he deals with that hurt, and, especially, the way we get to see jason observe & recharacterize tim based on what happens in this story.

Surveillance series by @smilebackwards

this series has these very specific “tim comes into the picture late” flavor of pangs that i am (more than) a bit obsessed with—it does such a compelling job navigating what this version of tim would think and do and feel as he forges relationships with the bats/assorted heroes a few years later than in canon. and some of those feelings (especially in the first and last installments) are beautifully pangy; here we have tim dealing with a lot on his own without ever expecting outside help, and even later when be finds himself with a support network, this still teases out the great, subtle pangs of tim having to learn how to navigate that.

equivalent exchange by scribblemetimbers

holy tim pangs, batman! this really hits the sweet spot—a tim who is competent and cunning and stubborn as hell AND is lonely with terrible self-worth unintentionally reinforced by bruce, all of which collide in a self-sacrificial gambit that sets its long plot in motion. (this fic is complete, but is part one of a series.) this does one of the top-tier, prime pang setups: in which one character unintentionally reinforces another character’s deepest insecurities (with devastating consequences).

between hands that relaxed by @deitybird

one of my new fav reverse robins fics (that recently completed!), in which tim, the second of batman’s partners, was killed by the joker—and that’s just where the horrors begin for him. lots of pangs re: tim’s sense of identity/worth, his aching loneliness as he slowly finds his way back to the family, and especially notable angst re: his relationship with an older damian. (before he died it was: bad. this story takes a very hopeful approach to their future.) i also adore the timkon & core four threads here. as a bonus, the first fic in the series is damian pov and, imo, extremely worth reading both fics for maximum pangs.

Hear it in your tone (you’re slowly letting go) by sexyPineappleMan (wip)

a take on “bruce is tim’s biological father” that is so far doing everything i would want with this premise, and delivers a buffet of pangs from chapter one. tim is brilliant, lonely, and hurting in this joins-the-family-late au—that also sees him as a (former) olympic hopeful gymnast, a non-robin tim identity i love—and i’m equally compelled by the angst/looming reveals, and by the intrigue of the plot itself. i’ve been well fed so far and am eagerly awaiting more.

Our Bodies & Other Fine Machines by @sunflowersandink

in which robin!tim is dealt a very specific kind of difficult hand and (you may be sensing a pattern here) tries to deal with it entirely on his own. the way there’s so much tension and angst hanging over a scene about eating pancakes speaks to the kind of story this is: one where every single detail is used for maximum potential. i return to this one for its prime tim pangs, and i still forget, every time, just how well executed they are and how the plot builds to a top-notch reveal and resolution. (heads up for food insecurity/disordered eating in this one, do mind the notes!)

some of us have childhoods that aren't poems on sight (but darling, you're doing alright) by mrs_d

specifically chapter 21, which has a fully executed pang arc that almost lets it read like a standalone story. don’t get me wrong, there are pangs threaded throughout—tim in this story is very lonely and primed to expect lack of care—but the misunderstanding between alfred and tim in the second half of this chapter is really notable. it’s simple and technically low-stakes compared to what else is happening in the plot, but the stakes feel high to us (and to the characters).

How to Proceed by @philosophersandfools

another reverse robins fic, this one a oneshot that pulls off its premise both efficiently and potently. here we see a teenage eldest brother damian, who has softened a bit (especially since a very young jason and dick have already been brought into the fold) but still distrusts and dislikes his father’s new mentee, 14 y/o tim. that distrust stems from damian’s misunderstanding of tim’s intentions/situation and leads to some excellent pangs before a decisive resolution.

this is nowhere near an exhaustive list and i reserve the right to update with additions later 💪

[slut4hee]

Slut4Hee 2025 WIPS

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Nevertheless Series

{Paring: Toxic Lee Heeseung x Fem! Reader

{Genre: smut, fluff, angst, toxic relationships. This fic is inspired, by one of my favorite kdramas, called nevertheless. It’s about heartbreak, love, lust, and companionship. 18+ so (mdni).

{Synopsis: Lee Heeseung was like breath of fresh poisonous air to your healthy lungs. He was the fire that ignited your flame, the missing piece to your unfinished puzzle. Lee Heeseung, was also the one who destroyed you, the one who clipped your beautiful wings off your body, and shattered your whole innocent being. But still you remained attached to him, drawn in by his dark aura, and blinded by his charming and enchanting presence. You got it bad, but nevertheless…

{Warnings: explicit themes, alcohol consumption, smoking, rough sex, unprotected sex, big dick heeseung soft dom heeseung, sub reader, creampie, breeding kink, fingering, oral (m&f receiving), spanking, corruption, manipulation, love bombing jealousy, cheating (but not really cheating?), Heeseung is hella toxic and a jerk in the beginning, reader is very emotional and down bad for this man, Heeseung has a butterfly tattoo on the back of his neck, lmk if I missed anything!!!

꩜ .ᐟ Teaser

You held onto your chest, feeling your heart beating rapidly. You feel like the air has been stolen from out of your lungs, and you physically can’t breathe, the pain is so unbearable and excruciating.

You should have known sooner or later that you weren’t the only one, but still, your fucked up head told you otherwise. You watched as their lips moved sensually, his hands gripping her waist, and squeezing the fatty flesh.

Tears slowly start to steam down your face, and you can feel yourself going into a panic attack, as the girl lets out a quiet moan, as he sucks on the flesh of her neck. You start to hyperventilate, feeling yourself drifting into the void of darkness, your chest feels tight, your head is pounding and your legs feel weak.

Your body is frozen as you watch, his hands explore her body sinfully, and he whispers to her “you’re a beautiful butterfly” you feel sick to your stomach, as your heart pleads with you to tear it out. That’s what he always called you, his little butterfly, his muse. You can’t take it anymore, you need to get out of here, before you die of a broken heart.

A part of you wonders, if he was to find your lifeless body laying here, with a tear drop running down your cheek before it dries up, would he even care. Would he laugh at your pathetic self, or would he cry and beg for you to wake back up.

And that’s when it happens, your eyes locked with his, his facial expression is unreadable, but you know exactly what’s hidden behind those stone cold eyes of his. He smirks at you, before pulling away from the girl, telling her he’s had enough for tonight.

The girl tries everything in her power, to keep the session going, throwing herself shamelessly at him to spend the night with her. He declines her offer politely, kissing her forehead before he stepped away from her. Almost like the girl was hypnotized or in a trance, she nodded, before kissing him one last time goodbye and taking her leave.

Gaining control over your body, you hurried and hid yourself further into the staircase, watching as the smiling girl walked passed you. There’s a hickey clear as day on the right side of her neck, you can hear your heart shattering into pieces.

You peaked from the side of staircase, immediately making eye contact with Heeseung. It was almost like he spoke to you, without actually exchanging words, as you managed to pull yourself away from hiding and made your way over to him. You looked up at him with tears still in your eyes, your body trembling as you stare deep into his dark orbs.

He can see the hurt and pain radiating from your body, but it does nothing to affect him, instead he just smiles at you and wipe the tear that threatens to fall from your waterline. All you want to do is slap the fuck out of him, and tell how much of a fuckboy he is, but you don’t have it in you to even lay a finger on his beautiful face.

“She just wanted to see how it feels” he looked into your eyes, staring into your soul, as he ghosted his lips against yours. You held back a sob, as you turned away from him, stepping away and looking down at the ground. He slowly walked over to you, and hugged you from the back.

“I really wanted to try it with you, my muse” he hummed, turning your body back around to face him. You looked at him with an unreadable, expression falling into the trap of his alluring voice.

He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear, before leaning down, and pulling you into a soft sensual kiss. You were so disgusted with yourself, for letting him kiss you, after his lips was just on another girl. Like a million butterflies erupting inside your stomach, you once again have given yourself willingly to Lee Heeseung.

“𝙉𝙤 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙧𝙮 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙗𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙡𝙮, 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙡𝙡, 𝙞𝙩’𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙮 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙤“....

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Land Of The Riches

{Paring: Rich Top Student Kim Leehan x Scholarship Student Fem! Reader

{Genre: smut, college au, private school au, fluff, toxic relationship, fwb?? Rich kid things, 18+ so (mdni).

{Synopsis: Stepping into a world, you knew you didn’t belong to was something you really didn’t participate doing. The flashy earrings and watches accompanied by the students, and the all black luxury cars, pulling up in front of the school with chauffeurs present in the front seat of them. Truth is, you didn’t come from a rich background, in fact your parents could never afford to pay for you to go here out of pocket, but your high IQ and your excellent grades landed you a full on scholarship spot at New Winchester University. Fitting in was going to be a hell of a challenge, but it seems you are already making progress, since the star student Leehan has taken a liking to you.

{Warnings: explicit themes, rough sex, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, oral (f&m receiving), fingering, squirting, face sitting, mutual masturbation, sexual acts in public (they fuck in the library, and Leehan fingers reader in class), dirty talk, pet names, bullying, manipulation, corruption kink, cheating, (no I don’t condone cheating so pls hush it’s all fictional love), Leehan is preppy cocky rich mf, alcohol consumption, smoking, lmk if I missed anything!!!

꩜ .ᐟ Teaser

“Fuuuck that’s it doll, suck that fucking cock like you mean it” Leehan grunted, his hand holding your head in place, while his other hand holds his phone up as he record you sucking him off. You don’t know how you managed to find yourself, in this situation with your head between Leehan’s legs, doing unholy things to him.

Wait in fact you do, it all started with him staring at you in class, studying you, and hypnotizing you with his enchanting and flirtatious aura. Not long after, the boy convinced you to skip class with him, asking you to have a smoke with him.

You made it clear to him you didn’t smoke, but he insisted you come with him, and that you could just accompany him. And that’s how you ended up here, with Leehan abusing your throat, with his long thick length.

“Holy shit princess, I knew you would be so good at this. Look at me baby” he groaned when your eyes locked with his and then the camera. Your eyes widened at the realization, that he was recording you. You pulled off his dick and covered your face quickly.

“W-why are you recording me, please turn it off” you stuttered out, feeling embarrassed and ashamed. He chucked lowly, grabbing your chin, and wiping some of the drool and his pre cum that drips on the side of your mouth.

“Oh C’mon baby girl, I swear I won’t show anyone, matter of fact, I pinky promise” he pouted cutely at you, caressing your chin lovingly as he manipulates you into giving him what he wants. Of course you ended up giving in. Not being able to resist his puppy dog face and menacing attics.

“Fine, just p-please don’t show anyone, please don’t” you pleaded with him, his eyes lit up and a smirk appeared on his handsome face. You felt your heart skip a beat at his stupid beautiful smile, easily falling into his trap. You grabbed his throbbing cock, pumping it a couple of times, before taking back inside your wet mouth.

“Oooh my fucking goddd, damnit that feels so good slut” he whined, bucking his hips up, causing you to gag around his dick. He groaned deeply, pushing your head roughly as he fucked into your mouth desperately. He stuggled to keep ahold of his phone, his legs trembling and shaking as he chased his high.

“F-fuck Y/n, I’m so close, you gonna be a good little whore and let me cum in your mouth right?” He cooed as he caressed your cheek lovingly. You clenched around nothing, your thighs rubbing together, as your panties became sticky with your leaking arousal Leehan noticed that and chuckled lowly.

Suddenly his phone ringed, pausing the recording, he groaned in frustration and rolled his eyes as he went to answer it. You panicked, about to pull away but he glared at you, giving you stern look as he shock his head no at you. Your eyes widened at the realization that he wants you to keep sucking him while he talks on the phone.

“Hey baby what’s up” he answered, rolling his yes at the loud girl over the phone. Your felt a churn in your stomach, at the fact that he’s talking on the phone with who you believe to be Yu Karina, aka his 𝙂𝙄𝙍𝙇𝙁𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙉𝘿!!!

You hear the girl on the other end, pouting and acting babyish, as she complains to Leehan for being late to their ice cream date. Some sick part of you, enjoys the fact that Karina is waiting for Leehan to show up to their date, meanwhile you’re sucking the life out of him. Truth is Karina has bullied you since day one, calling you an outsider, poor, and a pathetic nerd.

Your lips turned into a smirk, at the thought of Karina, finding out her so called perfect little boyfriend is currently getting mind blowing head from this so called nerd.

“I’m sorry baby girl, I had some important things to deal with, I’ll be there soon” he said in a sweet and apologetic tone, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his false claims, which didn’t go unnoticed by Leehan, him thrusting his length deeper inside your throat causing you to gag.

You heard Karina on the other line, asking him if he’s okay and what was that sound. He quickly comes up with a bullshit lie, saying that he drank something nasty and spat it out.

You decided to test the waters, sucking on his cock a little faster, and fondling his heavy balls. Leehan threw his head back, choking back a deep moan before harshly biting his bottom lip to conceal his sounds.

“S-sweetheart, I have to call you back, I’m in the middle of something” he stuttered, his composure dropping slowly, as he tried his hardest not to shoot his load deep inside your throat. He quickly hung up the phone, before grabbing your head roughly, and pushing it all the way down before fucking aggressively into your mouth.

“You fucking slut, you almost got me fucking caught. You’re that damn desperate for my cock that you have to show the fuck out” he spat angrily at you, but a shit eating grin was plastered across his face. You whimpered, and gagged around his dick, as tapped and scratched on his thighs for him to slow down.

“What’s wrong darling, can’t breathe because you have a mouth full of cock” he chuckled menacingly at you, before yanking your blouse open, some of the buttons flying across the bathroom stall.

“𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙨𝙞𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚, 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖𝙣 𝙤𝙗𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙤𝙖𝙙 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙖𝙩. 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚 𝙖 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙥”....

A/n: Yup that’s right, slut4hee is making her return back to tumblr world🤭 these are some projects yall can look forward starting next year. As I stated before I am a very slow writer and I’m a very busy person, I work full time and go to school🙂‍↕️ but teehee I’m so excited to release these works next year, especially the Leehan one bc wtff I’m so down bad for dom Leehan like pussy is soaked rn do you hear me?! But please please look forward to these some time next year pookies mwah luv u all🫶🏽🩷 not proofreading shit😭

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Taglist:

@i03jae @ataver @ancnymcnzjy @jooniesbears-blog

[justmeinadaze]

I Want You (Steddie X Y/N)

A/N: "I present to you...this fucking thing..."

Because I'm a hoe. :P

This is from the universe they visit in this fic. You don't have to have read it to understand. Everything that happens here is years before what happens there.

Warnings: Serial Killer Steddie & Fem Sub Y/N, SMUT, sub/dom dynamics, light knife play (no cutting or anything), dirty talk, light chasing, light choking and spanking, a safe word isn't established (yet) but they do make it clear that they don't want to hurt her.

ANGST, starts off with the reader in jail (Steve is her lawyer), mentions of reader "embarrassing" her family, mentions of her getting into a fight while in prison, Steddie do kill someone but the death itself is not described, the person they take insults the reader (calls her a whore), Eddie likes to play with knifes 🫠, mentions of them tailing victims and disposing of them. They do talk about how they only kill people who deserve it (kinda like Dexter).

I think that's it.

Word Count: 6508

Donate to Me

As you slowly shuffled into the visiting area of the prison, Eddie hastily rose to his feet and took ahold of your hand to help you down to your seat.

Your eye was swollen where the other prisoner had punched you when they jumped you in the lunchroom. She got in a few good hits including busting your lip before any guards intervened.

Exchanging a glance with Steve, the long-haired boy sat back down beside you as you sat across from his friend and colleague.

“Did the hospital wing take care of you?”, your lawyer asked barely above a low rumble. 

They didn’t need to ask what happened. 

They warned your father that given your last name you could be hurt or worse if he insisted you should go to prison but he said that you needed to learn a lesson. Kallie tried to defend you; told your dad that you did nothing wrong and explained again how you defended her. 

Like the stubborn man he was, he wouldn’t listen. 

You embarrassed the family and that’s all he cared about. 

“She was drunk and took a swing at a prominent member of society. Thank God he’s not suing us.”

“So you’re worried more about the asshole that pushed me than the daughter that defended me.”, your sister growled. 

“I’m worried about our future, Kallie! I’m doing this for her own good!”

“And if she dies behind bars? What good will that do?”, Steve replied flatly, trying to control the immense anger that was welling up in his chest. Eddie was usually the one to respond with emotion but not him. He always needed to be in control.

“She’ll be fine, I’m sure.”

“Yes, sir.”, you whimper, wincing as the tears begin to fall. 

Blinking, he hesitated slightly as he reached for your hand, encapsulating yours with his own. 

“You don’t have to be so formal with us, honey.” Glancing his way, he delivered you a small smile before letting you go. “Like I told you in my letters I’m not…good at showing my feelings but… we’re here for you, Y/N.”

Since you met them, you picked up on their different personalities pretty quickly but understood why they were friends and worked so well together. Where Steve could come off as closed off, Eddie always radiated an energy that screamed he’d do anything that needed to be done. The first time your lawyer smiled, it warmed your heart because you had a feeling not everyone got that genuine side of him.

In court and on tv doing interviews, he played the part of a charming man well. He was suave and intelligent while always engaging but that wit could turn quick when challenged. Eddie wore his heart on his sleeve and could go to a ten with little to no prompting which is why you assumed he drifted more towards computers. 

It allowed him to focus that energy and use it where necessary which (besides being his best friend) is why Steve hired him to help at his firm. With their resources they had won numerous cases which is why your sister insisted on hiring them but your father was the one with the money so there was only so much they could do. 

Over the past four months being incarcerated, they sent you letters and items to make sure you were safe while letting you know you weren’t alone. You found it easy to be open with them and to trust them not just as your representation but as your friends. 

“I can’t stay here another six months. I’m scared.”, you whisper.

Eddie’s eyes met his friend’s stern ones before defying him and pulling you to his chest as his palm held you close.

“Everything’s going to be ok, sweetheart. Steve’s been trying to file appeals but it’s hard.”

“Your dad’s been bribing the judge.”, the other man answers when you look at him with confusion. “He’s blocking my motions.”

Leaning back, you wipe your eyes as you carefully take both men in. Their faces may appear calm but you could feel the worried energy rating from them. 

“I’ll…I’ll be ok. Just six more months right?”, you try to sooth as you force a smile. “T-Tell me about you two. You’re both being safe right? I heard on the news that serial killer has amped up his count.”

“Yeah, princess, we’re being safe. No dark alleys or talking to strangers.”, Eddie teases, smiling when you laugh.

They loved the sound of your laugh.

“Good. Besides my sister, you two are the only people I trust. If anything ever happened to you…I don’t know what I would do.”

***

“What are you thinkin’?”, Eddie asks as they both linger on the opposite side of the empty building they were currently in. 

“We’ve never done something this close to the vest before.”, Steve replies, continuing to stare into the void as he blows smoke from his cigarette towards the sky. 

“Yeah…but what else can we do? We tried the right, legal way and were shut down. I offered to hack into his bank records and expose him but that would put her dad at risk. You didn’t think Kallie or Y/N would want that even after all the evil shit he does.”, the metalhead growls. 

The lawyer’s eyes scanned his friend as he absently flipped the knife in his hand. The man’s own irises had begun to slowly darken as he dipped into the headspace that offered him control. Steve always found it amusing because while Eddie was calculated with the computer and finding their victims, once the person was in front of them he changed into the equivalent of a hamster running on a wheel. 

The man tied to the chair began whining as they listened to him slowly wake up and pull on his restraints. 

“Last chance, Steven. As soon as he sees our faces, there’s no going back.”

When his friend nodded and tossed the cigarette out into the night, Eddie knew he was sure, his grin growing now that they were going to get to satiate that need both boys struggled with, with the added bonus of being able to save and protect you. 

After throwing his suit jacket to the side with their other things, Steve casually sauntered to the judge that had sentenced you, now restrained with wide eyes looking up at this man he had extremely underestimated. 

“Judge White, we apologize for this inconvenience. Usually, my friend and I like to leave our personal lives out of this thing that we do but you didn’t want to hear reason. Because of your selfishness a young girl is currently suffering behind bars for defending her sister. You promised to uphold the law but only when it matters to you it seems.”

The judge mumbled behind the gag before Eddie roughly ripped it off and held his knife to the man’s throat as a warning. 

“You’re one to talk Mr. Harrington! Kidnapping a judge isn’t exactly ‘upholding the law’, now is it, son?”

Steve chuckled and Eddie’s fist flew hitting the man in the nose hard. 

“I’m not your son, thank God, but you do remind me of my father. People like him, you, and Mr. Y/L/N pretend to be these moral men but you’re not. What my friend and I do helps the people. We don’t hurt anyone that doesn’t deserve it.”

“Who are you to make that call!?”

The metalhead hit the man again and pressed the tip of the blade deeper into his skin. 

“Who are you? You were appointed and let the people down. You gloat behind your fucking Ferrari and 3 story mansion while people like Y/N rot, scared and alone IN A JAIL CELL!”

As Steve slowly became more ramped up, he rose to his feet till he was hovering over the frightened man below him. Blinking, he quickly regained his composure and took a step back. 

The sound of the judge’s laugh had both men tilting their heads. 

“Jesus. Out of all the women in the world, you fall for that one. An alcoholic whore with an arrest record now who won’t be able to do anything in this world without ‘a few favors’. Favors you can’t help with financially on your salary, Steven.”, he laughs. “Hopefully she’s good on her knees—MMPH!”

While he mocked you, Eddie himself had been struggling to keep it together. You were always so kind to him and made him feel seen. Steve was one of the few people to treat him like an equal but when you came along, even with what you were going through, you never looked down on him. He wasn’t going to allow anyone to disrespect you and especially not this asshole. 

The judge gritted his teeth as the metalhead removed his blade from his leg and wiped the blood along his pristine button up white shirt. 

“Watch your fucking mouth.”

“L-L-Look, boys. What do you want? You want her freed? I can do that—”

“We don’t need you for that. Without you there to block the appeal, the new judge will review her case and this one owes me a favor.” The judge’s eyes widen as his gaze shifts between Eddie’s wild eyes and Steve’s calm demeanor. “I think there’s a bit of a misunderstanding here. You seem to believe there’s a route you can take that has you walking out of this building alive.”

“You won’t get away with this! I’m a prominent member of this community! People will—”

The metalhead, placing a fresh price of tape over his mouth, interrupted the man’s pleas as the lawyer smirked, stepping forward. 

“Trust me, Judge White. We’ve been doing this for a while. No one will find you.”

###################

“Oh shit. I mean, hey, hey sweetheart. What, um, what are you doing here?”, Eddie asked when he answered your knock on their door. 

“I just wanted to come by and thank you so much for what you did. I mean…filing the appeal and finally getting me out of that awful place.”, you smile as you glance behind him to see Steve saunter up in gray sweats and a white short sleeved undershirt that showed off his muscles. “Um, I brought some food…as a thank you…I can drop it off and leave if you’re busy or—”

“No, Y/N, don’t be silly. Come on in. Thank you so much.”, the man behind him chuckled as he reached for what you were carrying while his friend met him with wide cautious eyes. “It’s alright.”, you heard him whisper before Eddie shut the door. 

“We’re just, um, doing some renovations here and there so we apologize for the mess.”

Smirking, you gesture towards the nice, expansive living room.

“What mess?”, you giggle. “The only thing messy is you two.”

The metalhead swoons as your hand reaches out to lightly tug on his hair and trails down his chest allowing your fingers to trace the Metallica logo on his shirt. 

“I was with Kallie but after a while I couldn’t sit inside so I thought I’d come thank you.”

“We can understand that. You spent so much time in a dungeon basically.”, Eddie sighs as he helps distribute the food you brought. 

As the night continued, you got to know both boys as you asked them questions you had been dying to know for months. Both men were single but they insisted this was due to their busy schedules. Steve followed in his father’s footsteps and became a lawyer but deviated to open his own firm which pissed his family off. Eddie’s computer knowledge was all self-taught having picked up some tricks through the years from other people as well as felon father. 

“One time I applied for a manager position in the tech department of some security firm but they kept brushing me off saying I had no experience for such a high position so I hacked into their mainframe showing them how good I was finding flaws.”, Eddie cackled as your laugh warmed his heart. “Yeah, Stevie had to use his know how to keep me out of jail.”

“What?! They didn’t hire you?! I would have if you showed me something like that.”

“Naw, companies like that have huge egos that are way more important to them than anything.”, the lawyer smiled as he sighed. “After seeing what he did, I asked him to come work for me and we’ve been together ever since.”

“That’s amazing. The two of you saving lives one broken hearted girl at a time.”, you grin as you take a sip of soda avoiding their gaze. 

After glancing towards each other, Eddie’s own smile widens as he gestures towards the radio that had been playing in the background. 

“I can play this song on the guitar.” Steve studies you as you giggle and playfully shake your head. “You don’t believe me? My uncle loves The Beatles.”

Reaching behind him, he grabs his acoustic instrument and begins to strum along with the music as he hums. 

“I want you… I want you so bad…”, you sing under your breath causing them both to watch you intensely. “I want you so bad, it’s drivin’ me mad, it’s driving me…”

The energy in the room starts to thicken and the lawyer catches onto it first as he sees his friend’s eyes darken with that familiarity he recognizes from when they take and dispose of their victims. Steve knew for a fact that Eddie didn’t want to hurt you like that. They both cared about you deeply but that intense need to take care of you and please you… To have someone love every bit of them…even the darkness… was pushing through and even he was struggling to control it as he listened to you sing. 

“She's so…Heavy…heavy, heavy, heavy…”

When his fingers stopped strumming you chuckled as you wiped away a tear that fell. 

“I love The Beatles to.”

The long-haired boy abruptly jerked forward and grabbed your cheeks, bringing your lips to his. It was a passionate kiss filled with so much want, you couldn’t get enough. After moving his guitar to the side, you climbed onto his lap, circling your arms and legs around him as he lifted you up and placed your back on the floor. 

While Eddie’s lips trailed down your cheek to suck on your neck, you glanced towards Steve who was still focused on your features as he watched your mouth fall open. Your hand reached for his face and he tenderly held the back as he brought your palm to his mouth. 

“Want…you…to...please.”

His eyes soften in a way you had never seen before from him. It was almost as if he had never heard someone tell him that…or maybe no one had ever proved it to be true. 

“You want me, baby?”

The subtle crack in his voice broke your heart as you nodded and Eddie fell to your side without removing his lips from your neck as Steve slid over to join him.

##########

You awoke a few hours later with a desperate need to use the bathroom. 

Your eyes flick to the metalhead who was fast asleep on his stomach and you couldn’t help but kiss his bare shoulder, grinning when he adorably groaned and turned his head to face the other direction. Shifting your gaze to the other sleeping boy, your finger gently reached out to move some of his fluffy hair away from his face as you tenderly kissed cheek. 

“Hm. Everything ok?”, he mumbled as his palm lazily came up to pet your head. 

“May I use your restroom?”

“Yeah, honey, of course. There’s one down the hall on the left.”

You smile as you kiss him before grabbing Eddie’s shirt and scurrying to where he directed. After finishing your needs and washing your hands, you caught your reflection in the mirror. Your hair was slightly out of place from where they had run their fingers through it and you had little marks on your neck leading down your chest from where they had sucked hickies into your skin. 

Just a few nights ago, you were in the worst place of your life and now you were safe because of these two men who did everything they could to get you out. As you reentered the hallway, you glanced up stairs and in your giddy state, curiosity got the better of you. 

The first bedroom you found was Steve’s, assumed by the cleanliness and strong smell of cologne. Your fingers grazed his dresser as you browsed the many scents and sticky notes along the mirror reminding him of things like meetings or court dates. By his bed, he had a pack of cigarettes and note pad with what you thought were case notes before actually taking in the words on the page.

“-Dick called her a name again. Sister said he doesn’t mean it he’s just angry. I don’t care. I don’t like the way he talks about her.

-Munson found evidence in bank account, dick bribing to keep her unhappy to “teach her a lesson”. Fucker.

-Emails and messages, calls her a whore…fucking… She’s not…she deserves everything good…”

What threw you off even more was when you opened the drawer and found a small gun nestled on the top. 

“As a lawyer, he probably feels he needs this as protection.”, you told yourself as you carefully put it away. 

Eddie’s room was the complete opposite with his clothes thrown every which way and the strong smell of cigarettes hanging in the air. Unlike his friend, he had a few photos on his own dresser of a gorgeous woman you assumed to be his mother and his uncle hugging him when he was smaller. 

On the wall across from his bed, you noticed little marks that looked like he had thrown something sharp at the material and as your foot hit a box underneath the mattress you learned what had caused them, quietly bending down to open it, finding many shiny, sharp knifes nestled in their foam beds. 

A couple were missing but you found one stabbed into the wood of his bedside table next to cigarettes and, to your surprise, a picture of you next to a notebook. Eddie’s notes were much more chaotic than Steve’s as he scribbled random words and doddles on the paper. One page you found had a sketch of you when they went to visit you after you had gotten jumped. 

You looked so broken and the words around your frame seemed to convey the same except underneath each sentence was another in bold as if he was trying to comfort you.

“I’m scared.”

“It’s ok, sweetheart. We’re gonna get you out. You’re safe with us.”

“Someone jumped me. It’s ok. I’m ok.”

“Tell me who, baby, and I’ll make them regret it.”

“It’s only 6 more months.”

“No. It’ll be sooner than that, pretty girl. I don’t care what we have to do.”

Blinking, you placed everything back where you found it and began heading back towards the stairs before another room down the hall caught your eye. 

You should ignore it and you know that. You’ve already disobeyed and invaded their privacy by coming upstairs but…curiosity got the better of you. 

The door creaked louder than you wanted it to as you gradually opened it and tiptoed inside. There was a desk with a desktop that had multiple monitors with another notebook beside it; Eddie’s handwriting scrawled throughout. 

“Transactions every week, same time from Mr. Y/L/N to Judge White… 5 grand…

Schedule: due to be in court Tuesday.

Takes Ferrari back home at 7pm. 

Camera on front and back entrances. (disabled)

No wife or children

Sometimes picks up a woman on Field St for the night.

Vacant building 5 miles away.”

Backing towards the other side, you noticed photos on the adjacent wall of Judge White as well as the missing knife stabbed into one of the images of him getting in his car. On the floor was a black trash bag and as you shakily opened it, you noticed one of Steve’s suits caked in what appeared to be dried blood. 

Your mouth fell open as a tear slid down your cheek but as you turned to head back downstairs, you bumped into a broad chest promptly meeting the lawyer’s angry irises. 

Covering your mouth and pulling you to his chest, Steve effortlessly carried you back downstairs where the other boy was pacing. 

“Did she…?”

“I told you to burn all the stuff upstairs yesterday.”, he growled as he used his free hand to point furiously his way. “This is your fucking fault.”

Eddie’s eyes darkened in a way you had never seen from this kind man before as he stood up straighter and his head tilted. 

“You’re the one that let her in the fucking house.”

“I didn’t think she’d misbehave.”, he hissed into your ear. “Especially not after everything we’ve done for her.”

The lawyer felt your lips moving against his palm and he lowered it slightly to allow you to speak. 

“I’m sorry. I-I-I didn’t mean to… I just—”

Covering your mouth again, he grunted in frustration as he slammed his fist against the wall. This was new behavior for you to witness when it came to him. Usually, Steve was calm and in control but right now he seemed…wild…and that scared you but not for the reason they would think. 

Eddie noticed first that unlike other people caught by them, you weren’t fighting against his friend’s hold. Your eyes didn’t reflect fear but worry, not for yourself…but Steve.

“Harrington.”

“WHAT?!”, he screamed making your jump as the metalhead narrowed his eyes. 

“Let her go.”

“I can’t do that, Ed—”

“Let. Her. Go.”

The deep rumble that left his friend’s throat had his own head tilting; even more so when a little whine only he heard left yours. Slowly, the man lifted his arms expecting you to bolt out the front door but when you instead turned to circle your limbs around him…he was surprised. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be nosey. I just…I wanted to know more about you…and I got curious. I should have just asked. I’m sorry. Please, Steve, don’t be upset.”

He’d be lying if he said he knew how to respond. Instead, he carefully unhooked you from his waist and took a couple steps back to sit on the armchair behind him. His amber eyes remained locked on yours as you did the same, placing yourself on the couch.

Eddie startled you slightly eliciting a small squeak when he jumped over the back of the sofa and balanced on his heels beside you. His long fingers reach out to move some of your hair behind your ear and you can’t help but sigh as your eyes close, absorbing his touch. 

“I told you she was perfect, Steve.”

“Hang on a minute—”

“She’s not scared of us at all.”

“She hasn’t seen the real us yet—”

“Why are you trying to ruin this!?”

Just as the lawyer leaned forward, prepared to yell at his friend, your own palm extended out to caress the metalhead’s cheek. 

“It’s ok, baby. Let him think. He’s analytical…like Kallie. Kallie always thinks before reacting. I’m the opposite…obviously.”, you reply with a nervous chuckle.

“Kallie doesn’t kill people.”

“Neither do you.” Steve’s eyes narrow in confusion at your response. “I’ve known you for a while now. You’ve been…incredibly kind and loving to me and my sister… I’ve seen how you both are with the people around you. If…if you are hurting people…they probably deserve it…right? L-Like Judge White?”

“Your father wasn’t the only one he was taking bribes from. Add in all girls he picked up and used from the street. He didn’t even pay them, Y/N. He’d threaten them, fuck them, and send them back like they were trash.”, Eddie growled, closing his eyes as he tried to control his anger. “He still had the nerve to disrespect you even when we had him tied to a chair—”

“Edward.”, Steve interrupted with a low rumble. “You’re right, Y/N. I am more analytical whereas my friend is mostly emotions. This is how he really is…especially when he steps into that particular headspace… he’s harder to control but when he’s hunting…whether it be online or out in the world…he’s zeroed in and focused. Add in the fact that he’s amazing with a knife.”

At the word, Eddie grabs one you hadn’t noticed nearby and it rings through the air as he holds the sharp side to your cheek. Again, you don’t flinch or show fear and again he swoons. 

“Fuck me, you’re so beautiful.”, the metalhead whines as his nose replaces the blade and his breath warms your face. “I told him, sweetheart. I told Steve you were perfect and you deserved the world.”, he panted as his fingertips ghosted along your inner thigh. “You like this, baby girl. I can feel how warm you are between these sexy fucking legs. I bet that pussy is dripping. Fuuuuuuck and you’re wearing my shirt to—”

“Munson.”

This time Steve’s voice radiated authority, deep with a particular note of anger that had your head lulling towards Eddie’s smiling lips. 

“W-What are you like? In that headspace?”, you murmur breathily.

“You mean what am I really like?” His chest vibrates as a cool laugh escapes him. “I’m like him…I just hold it in better. I like control.”

“So do I—”

“No, little girl, you don’t!”, he snaps cutting you off. “Not the way we do it.”

“How would you know? I imagine no one’s ever seen you both like this before. I mean…no one who actually cared about you and wanted to be with you.”

“No one cares about us.”

At his sullen remark, you slowly rise from the couch and carefully climb into his lap, resting your head on his chest as you wrap your arm around his neck and twirl your finger in his hair. 

“I do. I care about you both a lot. Besides my sister, you’re the only people who actually seemed to give a damn. You wrote me letters and made me feel safe. Every time you visited me or called; every time I heard your voices… I knew everything would be ok.”

You felt it above your head, his jawline twitch as his chest rose and fell. The arms he had resting beside him gradually came up to wrap around you and you could barely contain the giddy pride that ran through you at the feeling. 

“I’m not afraid of you, Steve, either of you. Eddie’s right…I like this…” Grasping his hand in yours, you slowly glide it along your skin, between your legs till his fingers graze the slick sticking to your inner thighs. “I want you.”

His hair wipes to the side as his eyes meet yours. 

“You want me?”

“Yes, Sir. I want you both.”

Within his eyes, you see multiple emotions flash through them before finally darkening once more. 

“Show me. Show me how much you want me.”

Your eyes never left his as you slid down on to your knees between his legs and reached into his boxers to free his cock. When your lips delicately kissed his mushroom head, his whole body down to his toes shuddered in pleasure. 

“How does Mr. Harrington like it, baby, tell me.”, you whimper as your tongue darts out to lick his slit down the long vein that traced his massive size to his balls. 

“I don’t—fuck—I don’t want to hurt you.”, he whispered, his eyes squeezing shut as his fingers dug into the furniture. 

“That’s not what I asked.”, you giggle causing him to glare down at you at the sound. This time, your head leans to your left as you visually take him in. “Oh…I see…”, you nod as you let him go and rise to your feet, backing away slowly. 

Steve’s fury practically radiated from him as your gaze shifted to Eddie who was still balancing on his heels as his earnest eyes followed your every step with a smirk on his lips. 

“Ok.”, you repeat before turning to sprint in the opposite direction.

You manage to make it all the way up the stairs again before you’re grabbed by the leg and tumble to the ground. A ringed hand grabs your bicep preventing you from falling to hard and the long-haired boy’s husky voice fills your ear as he places his whole body on top of yours. 

“Didn’t get very far did you pretty girl?”

You push back against him but all that does is make him laugh as you feel his arm bend back and his fingers glide effortlessly through your folds.

“Fuck, baby, I knew you were dripping. I could fucking smell it.” 

As he breached your entrance with two of his fingers, you noticed a set of feet step over you both and Steve kneeling down in front of you. 

With his free hand, Eddie lifted you till you were on your palms and knees as the other boy pulled back your hair with his first. 

“I said…show me how much you fucking want me.”

Utilizing your hand, you grabbed his cock and enveloped him into your mouth greedily while his friend pumped his fingers into you at a fast pace. 

“Do you hear that, Steve? Oh my god. I’m gonna bust faster than I did when I lost my virginity. My dick is so fucking hard, Y/N.”

Holding your hair tighter in his grasp, the lawyer thrust his hips, pushing his length to the back of your throat as you gag. 

“That’s it, little girl. You said you fucking want us—shit—this is fucking us.”

“Fuck, Steve, I can’t…I need to…” Eddie had never bothered to put on any item of clothing like his friend so it didn’t take him long to position himself behind you to guide his cock inside your entrance. 

The cool metal of his rings stung a bit as his palm came down hard on your ass as he thrust his hips roughly into yours.

“Told you, honey. No self-control.”, Steve chuckled before pulling out to allow you to collect some air. “Like a fucking animal.”

It was Eddie’s turn to tangle his fingers in your hair as he pulled till your back arched and you mewled as his dick overwhelmed you filling you so completely that it felt like your pussy was made for him. 

“You like how my cock feels, dirty girl?”

“Y-Yes…oh ma…Goood…”

“H-He’s right. I am a fucking animal. M-My knife has slit so many throats but—f-fuck—baby, when I killed that fucking asshole—”

“Eddie.”, Steve scolded but was met with wild eyes you didn’t see. 

“Fuck off, Steven!”

“T-Tell me, baby. Please.”, you begged as your forehead rested against his cheek causing him to deliver the lawyer an “I told you so” smile.

“He…he was so fucking rude. He called you a fucking—mmph—a fucking whore. You’re not a whore and you shouldn’t have been in that cold cell. We made him pay, sweetheart. I-I wasn’t going to allow him to k-keep living while you were in so much pain because of w-what he did.”

“Thank you. Thank you f-for saving me.”

“Oh, f-fuck.”

At your whimpered words, his palm pushed your face against the carpet as his rhythm faltered and he slammed his release inside of you. Feeling him warm you as he whined was all you needed as the coil snapped and you came hard.

You barely had time to come down from your high as Steve circled his arm around your waist and lifted you like luggage as he carried you back to the room he found you in before dropping you on your knees. 

He was on you fast as he pinned your back to the floor and held your arms above your head. His expressive eyes watched your face as slid his cock into your cunt and your own eyes fluttered closed. 

“No. Open, Y/N. Keep them open.” You did as he commanded while he rolled his hips hitting that sensitive spot inside you slow and deep. “Look around you. This is what you want?” As your arms pushed against his grip, he clenched his teeth as he let go of one of your limbs to wrap his palm around your throat and turn your head to take in the photos on the wall. “I said fucking look. Answer me.”

“I want you.”, you repeated. “A-And everything that comes with you.”

Something in your voice slowed his pace and loosened his grip enough for you to look at him once more. 

“I’m not afraid of you…either of you…please, baby.”, you beg as your hand cups his cheek. “Give it to me. Give me all of you.”

Steve’s palm slithered to the back of your neck as he brought your lips to his and began pounding into you. He wasn’t as…animalistic…as Eddie but his pace was definitely rough and overwhelming in the best way. 

When you made love to them earlier that night, they were gentle and generous which you absolutely loved. This dominate energy they were displaying now, however, was perfect beyond compare and the fact that you were now aware they could enter both headspaces made you feel safer. 

Your body shook almost violently as you came, clinging to his shoulders as your nails dug into his skin. He grunted at the sensation and his head fell into the nook of your neck as he chased his own high before emptying his release inside of you. 

Steve collapsed on top of you as he panted, his cheek against your chest with his head under your chin and your fingers began to absently play with his hair as he listened to your heartbeat. 

“Eddie, why are you so far?”, you murmur as one of your hands reaches for where he was sitting against the wall fiddling with one of his knifes. 

“I didn’t want to…overcrowd you…”, he replied with a softness that told you he was back to the long-haired boy you had known for the past view months. 

“You won’t overcrowd me, sweetie.”

At the term of endearment, his chocolate eyes lit up like a boy on Christmas as he tossed his weapon away and crawled to your side. You hissed as Steve pulled out and both men scanned over your features with concern. 

“It’s ok. I’m just sore.”

After exchanging a glance, they silently rise to their feet and the metalhead lifts you in his arms as they carry you to his bedroom. The lawyer gets a bath going and once everything is ready, your (Eddie’s) shirt is removed before you’re lowered into the warm water. 

You sign pleasantly as they take care of you, beaming occasionally when their eyeline finds yours but Steve’s seemingly unhappy face gives you pause. 

“Are…are you still mad at me?”

“No, honey. I was never mad at you…just the situation…”

“You still seem upset.”

At your small voice, he smiles gently as he gestures around him. 

“I’m not used to the filthy conditions.”

“Rude.”, Eddie teases as he hits his friend’s thigh and the man laughs. “We could have gone to your room, asshole.”

“I thought…your room would make her more comfortable… My room is kind of, I don’t know, sterile? Hazard of growing up with my family.”

You softly grin as you reach for his hand and caress his skin comfortingly with your thumb. 

“You both make me comfortable.”

After kissing your forehead, the metalhead lifts you out of the bath and dries you but when the other man turns to wrap you up in one of his button up shirts you were suddenly gone. The tail end of the towel caught their attention and they followed it to find you taking in the photos of their latest victim on their wall. 

“It’s a little hard to fathom, you know? That my dad would work so hard…to punish me like he did…” Steve gradually came up behind you to remove the towel around you and replace it with what was in his hands. “Did Judge White really call me a whore?”

Eddie, who was now leaning on the desk in front of you, nodded.

“We don’t usually like to…play so close to home…”, he added. “But we tried everything else first, sweetheart, we really did.”

“We also don’t…” Your eyebrow quirks upward as the lawyer gestures towards the floor. 

“Play with women the way you just did with me?”

They both emphatically nod. 

“Where is he now? Judge White.”

“Would you like to see?”

######################

After a short boat ride, you found yourself with them in the middle of the lake on the opposite side of town. 

“Are you alright?”, Eddie asked as you clung to his arm. 

“Yeah. I’m just…I’m a little afraid of the…water…Not the water per say but what I can’t see in the water…like, ya know, sharks.” 

The metalhead smirks when you lightly laugh at yourself and tilts down to kiss your cheek as his fingers tangle with yours. 

“No sharks, honey, only bodies.”

“A lot?”

“Define a lot.”, Steve commands firmly as he brings the cigarette to his lips. 

“Do you EVER just answer a question?”, you giggle. 

Tossing the stick between his fingers overboard, he stalks your way till his face is hovering just above yours. 

“Sometimes.”, he jokes eliciting a wide smile as you push up to kiss him. “You’re fascinating, Y/N. We’ve never met a woman like you before. That being said…”, he pauses as his eyes search yours. “You have no idea what you’re in for when it comes to dating us; the danger it could put you in.”

“I’m not afraid of cops or anything else. I trust you to keep me safe. I know that’s odd to say but—”

Steve’s mouth cuts you off as Eddie wraps his arms around you from behind. 

“How did you do that? How do you know I didn’t mean us?”, he whispers as he rests his forehead against your own. 

“I told you…I trust you… I know your analytical mind may need some time to learn to trust me but I’m willing to wait.”

The metalhead abruptly lets you go with a little oh as he grabs the trash bag they brought and dumps its contents into a bin before pulling out a set of matches from his pocket. 

Steve’s eyes watch you as saunter towards the other man and place your hand on his to stop him, taking the matches, and lighting one yourself. You bring the flame to the cigarette between his teeth as his own eyes take in your beautiful smile and soft features before turning to drop it in the bin in front of him setting all the evidence ablaze.

##################

@dashingdeb16 @myherometalhead @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes

I just tagged the always lol if you want to be added let know

[gokyrts]

your carlos fic was amazing... can you do a mafia au carlos?

hiii nonnie! thanks for putting in a request<3 there were many thoughts about mafia Carlos, so here’s my take on this AU 🤭 this contains both SFW and NSFW thoughts, the latter will be under the cut!!

wc: 1.2k

SFW

—Mafia boss!Carlos would be a tantalizing mix of calculated behavior deluded with kindness:

Being under the wing of a local mob had its perks even with the risks that came from inside the organization. A risk you realized you took accidentally when you walked in on a family meeting, the boss himself sitting at the head of the table. The voices died down, everyone was staring and you gulped. A shiver ran down your spine when Carlos stood up, silently walking around the table to you.

“W-What’s going on?” You squeaked out, but that was the wrong kind of question to ask.

“I cannot tell you, preciosa…” Carlos’ voice wrapped around you like the first gust of wind in late autumn — chilling amidst the warmth.

“If I tell you, I’d have to kill you… and I don’t want to do that.” And you saw the cold honesty in his eyes which, despite their depth, seemed hollow and loveless. Yet it juxtaposed the warmth of his voice in your ear, the sweetness of the petname he used for you…

You nodded meekly, understanding your place and feeling a strange sense of gratitude that he took mercy on you, despite your intrusion. Carlos tilted his head at your reaction, a hint of a smile on his lips. He brought his hand up to your cheek, caressing the soft skin with the back of his fingers.

“Good girl… now, back to your duties.” He ordered you like he would a servant and yet you found yourself happily obliging, scattering from where he held a meeting with the family.

His smile fell when you rounded the corner and he turned around to go back into the room you so unfortunately stumbled into.

—Mafia boss!Carlos would not tolerate his men disrespecting you:

No matter which position you held in the family, you were always respected… only on occasion, someone dared to do the opposite. A new young man joined the family not long ago, he noticed you around the estate and nearby bar the family owned. He made the unfortunate mistake of assuming you were a local escort. Before he was able to further dig his own grave, he caught a hand upside his head.

“Oi! Cabrón, this isn’t some whore you can chat up!” One of the capos scolded, trying to save the new guy’s ass before the boss would notice but Carlos was watching the entire exchange. He clicked his tongue, catching the attention of the rest of the men in the bar, and beckoned the new guy with his finger. He was already sweating and slowly approached the boss.

“Y-Yes, boss?”

“What is your name?” Carlos asked, his tone indifferent, yet the look in his eyes told everyone they were about to witness a lesson being taught. The young man in question told Carlos his name, to which Carlos repeated it, letting out a hum as if in thought before continuing.

“How would your mamá feel if she knew you were treating women this way?” The distaste for others seeing you as less than you were was clear in Carlos’ tone and you watched with interest as the guy stammered.

“S-She wouldn’t be happy, boss…”

Carlos nodded in acknowledgment before leaning forward.

“She would give you a worse beating than I ever would so I suggest you apologize to the señorita before I get your mother on the phone.”

In mere moments you had the new guy at your feet, apologising for his behavior and a promise he’d never dare assume who you were or any other woman for that matter. Carlos could only watch on with a smirk on his lips.

—Mafia boss!Carlos would make sure you have everything you need:

You want a new dress? Boom, it’s laid out on your bed. You like a particular piece of jewelry? Boom, it’s sitting in a pretty box for you to take. Anything and everything you wanted, the boss provided. A shopping spree? There are three bodyguards with you, carrying your bags, holding the doors open, driving you around. You really got the princess treatment from their leader. When you returned, Carlos would of course have you model it for him since he bought all of it, in some cases, the dresses had to be returned because his hands were too eager trying to take them off of you and he ripped them. Worry not, he made up for it.

NSFW 18+ under the cut

—Mafia boss!Carlos would have you at his beck and call:

You would know when he snapped his fingers, when his gaze intensified, that was your call, your call to drop to your knees and serve your boss. He loved how perfectly you fit under the table in his office, how easy it was to thrust into your mouth, watching you take every inch of him. He especially loved the look in your eyes when one of his men came in and Carlos didn’t stop, he held you there, nose buried in his pubic hair as you gagged, till he let you come up for a breath.

“That’s it, preciosa… you like it, huh? I can see you rubbing those thighs together…”

Your cheeks only reddened at his words, making him grin. He stretched his leg, sliding it between your thighs.

“Come on, be a good girl for me… get yourself off on my boot.”

Of course, you’d be licking the mess you made off the expensive leather of his boot later when he allowed you to cum.

—Mafia boss!Carlos would do his occasional inspections:

You nearly yelped when you felt someone step up behind you but the warmth of Carlos’ big hands on your waist soon put you at ease.

“Shhh, it’s just me…” He cooed, humored by your startled behavior. His hands traveled lower, hoisting up your skirt. You bit your lip, thighs trembling in anticipation as you realised Carlos’ curiosity got the best of him again.

“Mmm, I like this pair on you,” He praised, his thumbs digging into your lower back slightly, forcing your forward, making your ass stick out as he appreciated the sight of you in a particular set of panties. You gasped when he smacked your right cheek, your reaction earning you a warm chuckle from the Spaniard.

“Beautiful…” Carlos continued, his fingers hooking in the waistband and pulling it down. You obediently stepped out of them, your skirt falling back in place. The piece of clothing looked tiny in Carlos’ big hand and you could see him smirk as he noticed the patch of wetness on them. But it wouldn’t be Carlos if he didn’t do something to make you yearn more for him. He pocketed the underwear and you could feel your heart racing.

“I—” He didn’t let you finish the thought, putting a finger against your lips.

“Shhh, you can come earn them back later, hmm, how does that sound, preciosa?”

Carlos didn’t wait for an answer, he knew you would come so he just left, with your soaked panties in his pocket, letting you walk around bare underneath your skirt the whole day.

want more thoughts on mafia boss Carlos or do you have your own? lemme know in my askbox!! <3

2024 @ gokyrts . do not distribute or translate my work on other sites.

[jason-todd-rh]

Masterlist 12

It's been a while (4 years to be exact) since i have done a masterlist but I wanted to do one. Here is the link to the other ones. My organization for each post is random. Also some didn't have names so i just did a short name (sorry in advance). There isn't a specifc order to them and these are just some i liked from the last year-ish.

As a reminder, make sure to follow these blogs :)

Series "Birds of a Feather" (part 1) (part 2) by @zyhkoo "Guard Dog" (part 1) (part 2) by @mostly-imagines "Shower Surprise" (part 1) (part 2) (part 3) by @twilight-orchid "Learning to Love Slowly" by @to-the-stars8 (honestly one of my favorites 10/10 recommend)

Jealous/Protective Jason (love me this category) "Don't Tell Jason" by @siddyyyyyyyy "Who are your boyfriend" by @prongsx

Fluff "Moonstruck" by @mostly-imagines "Favors in exchange for kisses" by @prongsx "Scenes from an afternoon odyssey" by @mostly-imagines "MIA" by @indulgentdaydream "Hungry?" by @montagoves "How He Shows He Loves You" by @mistymisfit "Amnesia and Flustered Jason" by @sanguineterrain "Eat Your Heart Patrick Swayze" by @kitkatscabinet "Physical Touch" by @luv4jason "Bluetooth j.t" by @cipheress-to-k-pop "Falling Asleep for the 1st time" by @patchiko "Hiding Nightmares" by @stararch4ngelqueen "Perfect Match" by @msfantasy-comics "SFW Fluff Alphabet" by @kimberly-spirits13 "Late Night Bouquet" by @killxz "We Got Love" by @makethatelevenrings "For the hell of it" by @lambsouvlaki "As long as you're with me" by @maivolpe "Shelter in the Rain"

Angst/Angst-ish "Don't Go Disappearing on Me" by @rambling-at-midnight "So This is Love" by @mostly-imagines "Not hot enough" by @writeriguess "Kidnapped" by @sanguineterrain "Where Are You" by @millyhelp "Ghosts of Gotham" by @sexsylexi "Domestic Betrayal" by @yourlocalcringydaydreamer "The Arkham Knight" by @mostly-imagines "Never Let Me Go" by @froggibus "Misunderstandings" by @sanguineterrain "Broken Heart of Gold" by @jasntodds "Be with You" by @chaotic-birds "Text me when you get home" by @sanguineterrain "Puzzle Pieces" by @makethatelevenrings "O Me! O Life" by @makethatelevenrings

NSFW "Jason Birthday fic" by @spidernuggets "Trying to get s/o's attention" by @gay-dorito-dust "First Time" by @igotanidea "Doesn't Always Have to be So Black and White" by @hanasnx "Lazy Morning" by @k2ntoss "Soft" by @stararch4ngelqueen "Don't make me cover your mouth" by @patheticbabie "Shower's on" by @icameheretoreadstuff "For the Hell of it" by @lambsouvlaki "NSWF Alphabet" by @sunlight-wing

[hanafubukki]

Waking up before your husband was always a treat.

This time only between you two and no one else.

He was known for his golden locks. Charming and bright against the silver of his armor.

What you thought most beautiful of all?

The smile from one recently waken from slumber. Eyes a soft blue bright in a pool of pink, speaking of how relaxed he was of this moment.

He stares at you as if you adorned the sun in the bright sky.

How you wish that was so. If then, could you give him the freedom he so rightly deserves. Let him spread his wings far and wide to soar the sky.

“May I touch you?”

“You needn’t ask.“

But you did ask. You always will.

He was somone chained to duty and crown. Someone whose wings clipped.

You would always ask him. Give him this freedom of choice.

He knew. He would take your hand every time. Calloused from training but treating yours as fine jewels. Placing it over his heart.

Yours. Yours. Yours.

While his body might not belong to him, his soul will always belong to you.

“My light, what are you thinking of?”

You lean into the hand that cups your cheek before taking it in yours, lips grazing across scars and hardened skin.

“How much I adore you.”

A shuddering breath.

Hands pulling you close.

Kisses filled with smiles exchanged.

Was feeling soft for The Knight of Dawn and decided to finish this fic that I started months ago. ☺️💞💞 I’m quite happy how it turned out 🫶🫶 even though that middle section came and hit me out of nowhere lol.

This was inspired by this art piece of the Knight of Dawn from months ago. (Careful, it’s nsfwish; he’s naked waist up but he’s so beautiful 🥰🥰)

Story Notes: the reason why I said Dawn’s eyes are “bright blue in a pool of pink” is not only because he has aurora colored eyes like Silver, but also because when Silver is determined or fierce, you can see his eyes become more pink highlighted. So the soft blue eyes is a tell to show how relaxed and comforted Dawn is. 💚💕

[amyispxnk]

I'd run away and hide with you

Summary - Ellie joins you and Joel on your trek to Jackson. Along the way, your mind gets the better of you, and when you reach Jackson it all comes crashing down.

A/N: i don't have any excuses for why this took so long and im so so sorry guys 😭 2024 was hectic and ive only recently been able to catch up on stuff pls forgive mee

Pairing: platonic/father figure!Joel Miller x f!reader (could probably be read as GN tho?)

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, violence, guns, language, PTSD, abuse mentions, panic attack/mental breakdown

Previous Chapter || Series Masterlist

DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

You’re getting bad again; that much is visible to him now. But he doesn’t even know what’s wrong this time.

You never open up to him anymore. At the start, you’d tell him everything that was going on in that little head of yours. You’d let him hold you while you cried. You’d always talk to him.

Now you don’t talk and you practically smack yourself in the face whenever you cry, willing the tears away as you bite down on your lip.

It’s been a few months since you left Boston to visit the guys at Lincoln. It was a good trip. After that hiccup at the start, you had pretty much forgotten about your dad; he couldn’t even get to you in your sleep. You spent a lot of time hanging out with Frank whilst Bill and Joel ‘talked business’, and it was pretty fun seeing the little home they had built for themselves in the town - Frank even let you pocket some strawberries, and it was your first time trying them. Safe to say they were fucking amazing, and you told Joel all about it that night. He'd pretend to be annoyed at your incessant rambling but he liked to see you happy, distracted, somewhat.

When you came back, Marlene was bugging Joel about some new smuggling job in exchange for the car battery he’d been searching for and before you knew it, you were back on the road again to bring this kid - Ellie - to the fireflies.

She was a bright, bubbly kid. Constantly talking and telling you and Joel jokes from that damn pun book of hers.

Joel didn’t warm up to her nearly as quickly as you did, and you obviously knew why. You’d been staying with him for almost half a year now, and had gone through a lot of shit with him, so he’d told you about his past. About Sarah.

So you had a hunch that that was why he didn’t open up to Ellie easily. That was why he’d always just grunt at her whenever she asked a question, why he’d practically toss her food at her when she had to eat, why he would barely even acknowledge her.

You could always tell he never meant it though. He didn’t really hate her. He cared about her - that’s just how he was - and it scared him. He was a protector, a fighter, and, most importantly, a father. He basically took you under his wing and gave you all the paternal love you ached for before, and now he had Ellie to look out for too.

But as time went on, you started noticing things. He started laughing at her jokes, or engaging in conversations with her, even telling her about before. You then realised how much it actually pissed you off.

Seeing them getting along made you incredibly jealous. Joel was your protector, your carer, your da..

You shake your head. It still felt weird when you accidentally found yourself thinking of him like that, giving him that name in your head.

It had been a few months since you all left Boston, for good you hoped, you hated that place and all the unfortunate memories you left there, but now you were in the cold and unforgiving state of Wyoming.

Right now you were all huddled around a fire in a little alcove. Joel had some whiskey which he sipped on.. As he talked to Ellie. Fucking Ellie, who was joking around with him, asking him stupid questions about some sheep farm on the moon.

You weren’t paying attention, you didn’t care. You instead chose to stew in your own thoughts which were drifting back to before any of this. You stared into the fire as you remembered the times you were the one making Joel smile, the one he’d hold and comfort, the one he’d talk with at the end of a long day.

He didn’t do all of that with Ellie, but he didn’t do any of it with you anymore, either.

Suddenly, your thoughts go even further back, remembering your father. Remembering the constant screaming which definitely damaged your eardrums by the time you’d left, the incessant beatings you received - at least that taught you first-aid, right? - and the many, many nights spent crying yourself to sleep. You didn’t get to cry in front of your father, knowing he’d only hit you harder for being weak and useless, so you just waited until you were curled up on the little mattress on the floor, your dad already asleep from the alcohol.

You only come back to the present moment when you taste the metal of blood in your mouth. You didn’t remember biting down on your lip but apparently you had been so hard that it made you wince slightly when you pressed your fingers to it.

Joel didn’t notice. He was still talking with Ellie, his eyes soft as he looked at her over the flames.

Jealousy makes tears sting at your eyes. You’d thought finally, finally, you found someone who would actually care about you.

Now you watch bitterly as Ellie makes him laugh more than you’d done in a while, wondering what you did wrong.

-

You were clutching your handgun tight, not feeling safe out in the open like this despite not having encountered any dangers for a good week now. It felt like things were too safe, and you didn’t like it.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Ellie blowing air through her lips, and it actually kind of annoyed you, because what was she even doing?

Joel asked that question for you.

“What are you doing..?” He sighs heavily, glancing at her, to which she just smirks.

“I’m learning to whistle.” She replies simply.

“You don’t know how to whistle?”

“Does it look like I know how to whistle?” She huffs.

They go back and forth for a little longer, with Joel ending up defeated as Ellie continues her air-blowing, and you find your heart splintering at the sight of them bickering only like father and daughter would. It might not seem like much, but you’ve definitely noticed how Joel’s gotten closer with Ellie over the past few months. It’s upsetting, seeing his natural paternal instincts coming out with her too now.

The three of you make your way past a big dam and arrive at a river, at which point Ellie unhelpfully chirps up.

“Hey, guys, what if this is the river of death?” She jokes, not realising how poor her timing was, for you hear the heavy thuds of horse hooves almost as soon as she finishes her sentence.

“Hands up. Don’t make any sudden movements, or we shoot.” A gruff voice barks out. You know better than to go against what they’ve said, so you turn slowly with your arms raised, and wait for Joel to do any negotiating.

“We ain't lookin’ for any trouble, we’re just passin’ through.” Joel says, keeping his voice strong and unwavering.

“Drop the gun.” The man spits, and Joel slowly does as he says, his eyes wide with panic and betraying the collected and brave persona he attempts to put on when he realises that this might be it.

Ellie looks equally terrified, and you can’t blame her, especially when the man addresses her directly, telling her to step back and away from you.

“How ‘bout we just talk this through-” Joel starts.

“How about you shut the fuck up?” The man’s gun is now raised, and Joel knows better than to argue now, nodding.

The man asks about if any of you are infected, and you feel the dread setting into your bones. Joel tries to diffuse the situation and ease the man’s (unfortunately correct) suspicions, but it’s no use, as he whistles for the sniffer dog.

He offers you a bullet instead, the easy way out, and you all remain silent, panicking further as the dog sniffs you, then Joel, then makes its way to Ellie.

You don’t know where to look, you can see Joel starting to hyperventilate, you can see Ellie’s eyes shining with a terror you’ve never seen her showing before, and you just decide to not look anywhere. You squeeze your eyes shut before-

She’s giggling. Your brows furrow, eyes opening to see Ellie playing with the dog, her face getting licked, and she looks over at the two of you, giving you a sort of ‘how the fuck am I alive’ look, before petting the dog and smiling.

“You just bought yourself 10 more seconds. What’s your business here?” The man shouts, and Joel tells him that he’s looking for his brother, trying to keep things brief.

A lady rides forward, asking Joel for his name. He gives it, and she’s silent, looking around at the three of you and trying to piece things together, before telling you to come with her.

-

Maybe something’s wrong with me, you think, picking at your nails absentmindedly as you trail behind the group - Maria, Joel, Ellie, and Tommy on their little tour of Jackson.

No, something’s definitely wrong with me. Because why else would you be so jealous of them? Of Joel finally finding his brother - another person to drive him away from you - and finally growing closer to Ellie.

Not to mention the way you just fucking clam up any time he asks about it.

Not to mention the way you just let it all build up, suffering in silence, waiting and waiting for the inevitable moment where you break.

You all end up in the dining hall afterwards and, while you’re pissed about everything else, you can’t deny some good food. You almost moan at the taste of proper, seasoned meat after all these months, wolfing it down in similar speed to Ellie and Joel.

“There’s more if you need it.” Maria adds after a few moments of watching you all, no judgement in her tone despite your rough actions.

“Thank you, ma’am,” Joel says, looking up briefly before continuing to eat. “Been a while since we’ve had a proper meal.”

“Actually I don’t think I’ve ever had a proper meal,” Ellie chimes in, making you clench your jaw. God, even her voice pisses you off. Nobody asked her to talk. “This is amazing.” She mumbles, food in her mouth.

Joel glances at her for a second.

“Sorry.” He tells Tommy and Maria. “Ellie, let’s mind our manners.”

She doesn’t reply, looking up instead to see a girl watching her behind a pillar.

“What!” She barks, making the girl run away and making you scoff. She glances at you, frowning, before continuing to eat.

You knew she didn’t hate you - you were a good pretender most of the time. Laughing at her jokes, smiling tightly during conversations.. But lately you’d slipped a bit, and she was starting to notice.

“What’s wrong with you?” Joel mutters.

“What about her manners?” Ellie spits, always so defensive.

“She was just curious.” Maria soothes, “Kids around here don’t usually look or talk like you.”

“Right,” she says, nodding her head slowly, “well maybe I’ll teach them.”

It takes everything in you to not scream. She was annoying you so much. And she was getting all the attention because of her boisterous behaviour. You were sitting there, quietly, calmly, and no one batted an eye at you.

“And I want my gun back.” Ellie argues.

“They also aren’t armed.”

Tommy jumps in, sensing the tension growing even more.

“You know what, uh, I think y’all got off on the wrong foot.” He starts, but the two keep bickering.

Eventually, Tommy reveals that Maria is his wife, and after an eager congrats! from Ellie, and the most forced one possible from Joel, the meal ends.

-

Tommy quickly shows the three of you around the rest of Jackson - Maria chose to stay behind - before leaving you and Ellie in your temporary house, going to have a chat with Joel.

“Soooo.. That was awkward, huh?” She chuckles, trying to joke with you like you used to at the start of all this.

You nod, anger still bubbling up inside of you. You didn’t want to be angry at her, or Joel, even, and you knew if you talked with her for too long you’d just end up yelling at her, so you tried your hardest to keep calm.

She chews on her lip, nodding slowly before starting to ramble about how crazy this town is and how Joel is totally pissed at Tommy.

You keep nodding along, wondering how on Earth she manages to keep going on and on for way too long.

Eventually, she bids you goodbye, going to explore the town.

You wouldn’t want to hang out with yourself either, you think as she closes the door.

-

Joel came back home in the evening, pissed off. You tried saying hi to him, having decided you were done being annoyed at him, but he completely brushed you off before storming upstairs.

Maybe you weren’t making it up. Maybe he did just.. Start hating you.

Ellie’s been in her claimed room for an hour, and the house is quiet until about 10pm. You’re still on the couch, curled up, lost in your thoughts. About Joel, about Ellie, wondering about yourself, too. You were thinking about how nice this town is, how you didn’t want to leave tomorrow at all, but figured you’d definitely have to. You’d have to return to the wasteland outside these walls, and you’d probably never make it back to Jackson.

You’d had too many close calls already. God, or whatever was out there, had probably spared you enough.

Your thoughts spiralled and spiralled until it happened.

Everything came out.

It started with tears, silent as they streamed down your face, before the anger released itself, making you dig your nails into your skin in some final attempt at self-control, before you were storming upstairs.

You throw the door open to Joel’s room, and he blinks at you, having been in bed, probably trying to sleep while you soaked in your misery downstairs.

He’s such a fucking asshole, is all you can think.

“I’m not coming with you tomorrow.” You mutter, surprised you aren’t yelling already.

His brows furrow and he stands up, trying to approach you.

“What’re you talkin’ about?” He says, voice stern and rough.

“You clearly don’t want me around anyway! I’d just be making your life even harder if I came with you. I’ll.. I’ll just go my own way.” You huff, voice quivering towards the end when you realised you’d have to trek this world alone now.

He repeats his previous question and you bury your face in your hands, nails tightening against your fists as you try not to start screaming at him.

“When was the last time we had a proper conversation? Or you asked me how I was doing? Or you hugged me, or anything?! You couldn’t even be bothered to say hi to me earlier, and last night you and Ellie were being buddy-buddy by the fire while I was literally on the verge of tears. You clearly don’t care about me anymore. It’s just her.” You’re shouting now, rage consuming you as you get closer to him, shoving him backwards.

He grabs your arms roughly and you visibly flinch, eyes widening under your furrowed brows as you peer up at him. His face is blurry underneath your tears, and your mind short-circuits.

Your dad is back? Your mind tells you yes. Yes, and you’ve pissed him off now, he’s grabbing you because he’s about to throw you on the floor. You’re always doing something wrong - you should’ve known better than to argue. Only insolent, disgraceful children open their mouths in retaliation. You should respect your father. Now you have to apologise and pray he accepts it.

Immediately you’re cowering. He can’t even get a word out before you start apologising, body trembling as he loosens his grip on you.

“Please, sir, I- I’m so sorry- I didn’t- I didn’t mean to- to yell. I’m sorry, I’ll leave, just please d-don’t- please don’t h-urt me-” you choke out, voice raw.

His expression softens, brows knitted in concern now rather than frustration.

“Baby, come here-” he tries to say, but you’re shaking your head, inching further backward until you press against the wall, whimpering when you realise you’re trapped.

Now he’s going to hurt you. Your apologies mean nothing when he gets this mad.

Joel had only grabbed you. It was nothing like the abuse you used to face and yet it was still enough to make you completely crumble.

You sink to the floor, sobbing, still apologising. Ellie’s awake by now, her eyes wide as she listens to what she can make out. What the fuck did he do to you? She’s about to get up, to go and protect you. She doesn’t care if you’d been giving her the cold shoulder for the past few weeks, she doesn’t care if Joel seemed to be giving her the opposite at last. If you’re in trouble and it’s because of him she didn’t fucking care about anything else.

But then she pauses, just outside the door, hearing him cooing at you.

“Calm down honey. It’s okay, it’s me, Joel. Look at me, please.” He murmurs, crouched down in front of you but still giving you some space.

You had your arms raised in front of your face, legs tucked inward, trying to protect yourself from any potential blows, mind still loud and thoughts jumbled, but his voice suddenly helped to clear some of the fog.

You peered at him through the space between your arms and blinked the tears away as best you could.

“..Joel?” You croak after a moment, and he nods, a small smile blossoming on his lips.

“‘S me, sweet girl. Come here.” He opens his arms for you, and you shift closer, still timid and not making that final step.

He sighs softly, not disappointed or annoyed, just sad that your trauma managed to put you in this state.

“It’s just me, okay? It’s Joel, not.. not him. Look at my face, baby.” He whispers, and you do. Your dad wouldn’t call you baby or speak softly with you. Surely this man in front of you wasn’t him.

When you finally recognise him, you feel the tears blooming again, a small whimper escaping your throat before you’re crawling into his lap, clutching him tight. Still apologising, as always.

“Shh, it’s okay. What’s goin’ on, hm?” He says, voice gentle as ever as he holds you. He doesn’t squeeze you tight, or move in any way, he just lets you cling to him. He doesn’t want to suffocate you, knowing you probably already feel like you're drowning, barely tethered to him for support.

“Y-you don’t like me anymore.” You hiccup, and he shakes his head.

“No, sweetheart. Of course I like you. You’re my.. You’re my girl, yeah? Could never hate you.” He murmurs, brows furrowing. Why did you even think that?

“B-but you get on with Ellie way better now, and- and you don’t even talk to me anymore.”

He sighs softly. Ellie was.. A chatty kid. If she didn’t start all those conversations with him, he doubts he would’ve engaged with her nearly half as much as he did. He had grown to enjoy her ramblings, of course, but he was too stressed, anxious all the time on the road, to ever actually start the chats with her or you. He realises now how that would’ve looked to you, understands the emotional breakdown you’d just had, understands why you’d been so quiet recently.

You thought he didn’t want you anymore.

He gently pulls your head back, tilting it up so you could meet his eyes. His thumb catches a tear before it can fall and he starts explaining.

“Babygirl, I wasn’t not talkin’ to ya as much cuz I didn’t like ya. I was just stressed.. Too focused on gettin’ us across the country in one piece to worry about conversations. Ellie’s.. a bit of a chatterbox so of course I had to be respondin’ with her, but..” he trails off, guilt consuming him more and more as he tries to reason with himself. Yes he was nervous but that’s no excuse for the state his negligence has landed you in.

“Fuck, there ain’t no excuse, really. I just.. Please, please believe me right now. I’m tellin’ ya, I don’t hate you and I never ever could, okay?” He pleads, eyes searching yours for any sort of understanding or forgiveness.

He definitely doesn’t see hatred there like he’d seen when you first stormed up here, no, he just sees confusion, worry.

“You really don’t hate me? Even- even after I gave you so much attitude and I was shouting at you? Surely I deserve.. You shouldn’t be being nice to me…” You whisper, brows furrowing, confused at the fact someone was apologising to you. Normally you were the one apologising. He’d been the only person to ever show you compassion and understanding, and you thought, surely you’ve fucked it all up now.

He sighs again, shaking his head. “I could never ever hate you, honey. Never. No matter what you do or say to me, I can promise you hatred would never even cross my mind.”

You whimper again, nodding. “Okay.” Is all you can get past your lips, your body shaking with sobs again as he finally allows himself to hug you properly, rocking you back and forth and stroking your hair.

He isn’t surprised when you fall asleep like this, curled up in his arms. You’ve exhausted yourself in every way tonight, and you deserve a good, long rest.

He grunts softly as he stands up, still keeping you clutched in his arms as he makes his way to the bed and sets you down. He’ll take the couch, he figures. His back is fucked already.

But then you stir a little, blinking up at him as he watches you.

“Joel?”

“Hmm?”

“Can.. can you please stay tonight? I just.. I’m…” You can’t get the words out, but he understands. He knows what you need.

He gets in beside you, kissing your forehead after you cuddle up to him and drift off slowly, blanketed by his comforting presence, your mind a little less stormy with his reassurances now there instead.

Sleep evades him for much longer, though, distant memories of Sarah swirling within his mind. He wonders what she’d think of him, of you, of the way he’s taken you in like this. Would she be proud? Would she be angry? Would she feel like he’s replaced her?

He shakes his head, knowing that those thoughts would just cause him to distance himself from you again.

He finally manages to fall asleep at 2am, dreaming of Christmas trees and a little girl with curly hair.

Tysm for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

Tags - @tbeep @rosierogie @jjlevin @axshadows @pedropascalsbbg @pedroshotwifey @pedrosfanny @s0meoone

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Hooters Waitress Y/N HC’s!

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, flirting, creepy guy mention

An: Thank you so much for sending in requests!! These headcannons were inspired by this fic by @dunnswrld and one of my friends who once jokingly told me she was going to work at Hooters someday! Some of these HC’s were actually based on real events that happened to me or people I know XD anyways, thank you for sending in requests and please keep them coming!

After Jeff had to bail the guys out of jail due to their drunken antics, they were barred from partying for a couple nights,

And yes, that did include any trips down to the hotel bar. This was a huge boner killer because there’s only so much fun you can have getting hammered in your room.

“I mean, I like the guy-” Steve mused about Jeff as he laid back against one of the beds, “but I feel like a caged animal stuck in this joint...“

Inspired by their desperate predicament, Knoxville got an idea everyone was onboard with,

“I think there’s a Hooters across the street…Why don’t we go there?”

Technically a restaurant, Hooters was something that Jeff could let slide.

Now, you didn’t recognize all of them when they walked in, because you only paid attention to Jackass when the cute one was half naked on screen, but you could tell they were famous

Nearly shoving your coworker out of the way, you rushed over to where they had already gotten seated,

“Hiiii! My name’s Y/N, and I’ll be your server tonight!”

Flipping open your little notepad, you turned to the table, “Now, what can I get you boys to drink?”

Johnny spoke up first, sweet as always, “How about a round of beers for me and the guys? Miller High Life if you’ve got 'em, ma’am.”

As you jotted it down, the guys exchanged ‘woah, she’s hot’ glances. I mean, even in the world of Hooter’s waitresses, this lady was something…

And remember how you didn’t recognize all of them at first?

Well, given the fact your main customer base were middle aged men, Bam’s whole skate punk look with the black hoodies and eyeliner and whatnot didn’t exactly scream maturity to you

I’m not even going to mention his height…

Point is, you kinda assumed he was one of their teenage sons or step kids or something, so you bent down and asked him in that patronizing coo,

“Can I get the little prince of darkness anything to drink? We’ve got Sprite, Pepsi…”

After connecting the dots, Bam’s face flushed bright pink.

Part of him was pissed that you thought he was some prepubescent twerp, but at the same time he couldn’t be that mad because this hot piece of ass was being all sweet to him

Ry interjected, putting a paternal hand on his back before Bam could correct you, “The little guy’ll take a chocolate milk.”

That earned him a good, silverware rattling kick under the table.

After you dropped off their beers, you tottered off to tend to other customers and the crew got to discussing their smoking hot waitress.

Johnny, all of a sudden Mr. Polite, stepped in once the conversation got a little too raunchy for his taste, “Alright, boys- let’s be gentlemen here.”

“We’re at Hooters!” Bam scoffed at his resistance, “We don’t have t’be gentlemen!”

Ryan, who never really got the guys’ whole obsession with boobs, rolled his eyes at him, “You’re startin’ to sound like your uncle.”

Taking a sip of his beer, Dunn imitated Vito’s…unique manner of speech, “‘Oh, we’re at hooters! We don’t gotta be gentlemen!’”

“Fuck you.” “Fuck me? Fuck you!”

Finally breaking up the squabble was Steve, who had been busy eyeing your fine ass from across the room, and he leaned over to Bam,

“Hey, little prince of darkness- think’y could knock your crayons on the floor?”

Dropping off their drinks, you glanced around the table at the sleazy expressions that were all looking back at you and you asked if they wanted to order any wings

Flashing you a charming smile, Chris playfully wiggles his eyebrows at you as he put down his menu, “I was gonna ask if you were on the menu, but I’m a vegetarian!”

Steve saw his chance and quickly piped up from across the table, “I’m not!”

It was like some animal planet show, but instead of fighting for territory, they were all competing with each other to see who could get the pretty girl to look at them more.

Sure, it may have been against company policy to give out your number, but that’s only in instances when creepy men pester you about it,

Not so much if you happened to jot down your digits on the bill of a group of very handsome, very charming customers.

[societyfolklore]

Dangerous Notes – Part 4

Title: Dangerous Notes – Part 4

Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Singer!Female Reader

Fic Summary: Reluctantly agreeing to fill in for her sick friend at a prestigious jazz club, The Armoury, Reader finds herself thrust into a world of old-world glamour and unknown danger. The club’s enigmatic owner, Bucky Barnes, has set his sights on making her a permanent fixture on his stage—and in his life.

Chapter Summary: You curiosity about The Armoury’s deepens as she begins to notice subtle details about the club’s patrons and staff. Meeting  Wanda she hoped to get a few more answers, but is only left feeling unease. Which only grows as Bucky’s focus on her remains unrelenting.

Word Count:  2.6K

Fic Warnings: // Explicit Content // Mature Themes.18+, Minors DNI, Dark Romance, Slow Burn, Possessive/Obsessive behaviour, Violence, Smut (eventually) No Beta... so yeah.. forgive things  Chapter Warnings:  None…just slightly Possessive/Obsessive behaviour if ya squint.. I promise stuff will start happening!

A/N: Ok, moving forward this fic will be updated every other Thursdays (I need more time with these, and I want to be working on other fic too, so.. Bi weekly, unless I want to post extra.. so :p)

Rehearsal had gone well, you were seemingly gelling well with the band. But The band and watch Pietro put on his little show the piano just made you smile.  Instead of leaving and returning later for your performance, you decided to stay in your dressing room, tinkering with a new arrangement to keep your mind occupied. Maybe something to add to the set before Kara came back? Nah, you didn't want to act like you planned on staying.. This one might just stay for you, or even give it to Kara. The fact way working on things like this soothed you, grounding your thoughts until the faint hum of music from the main room drew you out. maybe you'd just go watch the band in the wings for a while. 

The lounge was dimly lit but inviting, though the stage lights didn't reach the stage wins in such a dramatic way that you couldn't see out into the club. But for the moment you were just watching Pietro’s fingers flew across the keys, his playful energy infectious as the other musicians kept up effortlessly. You leaned against the wall, letting the music wash over you, filling a space inside you that had long felt empty.

There was something about this place-the music, the camaraderie among the performers, the way every note seemed to breathe life into the room. It made you feel part of something. Here, you didn’t feel like a failure, like you often did at the high school where you taught. Music had always been your escape, your sanctuary, and being around people who lived and breathed it reminded you why you’d fallen in love with it in the first place.

You began to notice details you hadn’t paid attention to before. The men in tailored suits who approached Yelena with whispered words before slipping into private rooms. The subtle, almost imperceptible nods exchanged between staff members. The glances toward the 'Staff Only' door that seemed to lead to places unknown. A creeping unease settled in your chest. Maybe the rumors about The Armoury weren’t entirely baseless after all.

“Dinner,” a voice interrupted your thoughts. A woman stood before you, holding a tray of small dishes. She had sharp features softened by a warm expression, her dark hair pulled back neatly. “Come on, let’s eat. Been told I've got to make sure you eat before your set.”

You followed her back to your dressing room, where she set the tray down on the small table. The spread was modest but thoughtful: cold cuts, pickles, toasted bread, and other light snacks-exactly what a singer would need to keep their energy up without feeling weighed down. The fact that once again a glass of whiskey was also included made you smile.  “Oh, I’m Wanda, by der way,” she said, glancing up with a small smile. her accent the same as her brothers “Sorry, I just started my shift, so I 'aven’t been able to say hi properly.”

You blinked, feeling a twinge of guilt as you sat down. “Wanda? Hi. Your brother mentioned you worked here too."  guilt hit you in the stomach, you'd taken this poor girls job. "I’m sorry, I-” You gestured vaguely at the meal in front of you. “I didn’t realize there was a backup singer already lined up when Kara called she- she asked if I'd cover and-”

Wanda waved off your apology with an easy shrug. “Sweetie, you don’t have to be this apologetic. I only fill in on occasion.  If it 'ad been for more than a week, the boss would’ve called in someone else. I’m not as good as I like to think I am.”

You gave her a curious look. Modesty seemed to run in the family-Pietro had the confidence of a showman at the piano, but even he downplayed his skill. “Music run in the family?” you asked, trying to make conversation as you picked at the food.

Wanda smirked slightly, moving her head a little. 'Somet'ing like that. Pietro’s the one with the real talent, though. My skills are, else where.”

You let the statement sit between you, sensing there was more she wasn’t saying, but you didn’t press. Instead, you changed course. “Have you been here long?”

For the briefest moment, her expression stiffened, but she recovered quickly. “A while,” she said vaguely, you weren't sure what the issue was.  "I noticed a lot of people seem to work here. Well I kept seeing people go through the staff door, I didn't think somewhere this size needed that many people, must be a lot competition for shift."   She hesitated before answering, "Not 'veryone you've seem works 'ere, I mean." Her tone deliberately casual. “Mr Barnes likes to conduct business from one location sometimes it's here, others its" she waved her hand about "He like to treats this place like 'is 'private boys’ club' you know? So you'll probably see people using that door that work for him in other places.” There was something in in her tone that made you realized talking about things might not be the best idea. "Wouldn't think too much about it.”

You nodded, but her words only reinforced what you’d started to suspect. There was more happening at The Armoury than its vintage charm and live music suggested. The suits that came and went, the hushed conversations, the careful movements of staff-it all added up to something larger, something you weren’t sure you wanted to understand.

Still, you pushed the thought aside, forcing yourself to focus on your meal. Your set started in half an hour, and you needed to warm up.

The performance was going well. The crowd responded organically, their applause and murmurs of appreciation fueling your confidence. The initial and familiar nerves that had gripped you at the start dissipating as you lost yourself in the rhythm. Maybe you weren’t as rusty as you thought. Maybe last night wasn’t a fluke. There was a certainty settling inside you now, a quiet realization that you could still do this-that you still had it in you. As you glanced over at the band, you caught sight of Pietro shooting you a small, encouraging smile, his fingers dancing effortlessly over the piano keys. Ted gave you a subtle nod of approval while he strummed out his bass notes, but it was the drummer Leo met your gaze with an approving wink between beats that made your smile grow that little bit more. The warmth of the spotlight, the support of the band, and the way the audience seemed utterly enthralled made you feel weightless, like you belonged here more than anywhere else. You were growing wings again. 

Standing under the lights as the next musical intro started your eyes wandered, scanning the room taking it all in, it was packed tonight, but then again it was Saturday, the sight of patrons lounging in deep booths and seated around dimly lit tables, glasses clinking softly, pleased and relaxed smiles. Maybe after Kara came back you'd come and enjoy a night here. 

Then, your gaze landed on the back of the room. To one of the booths against the back wall.

Bucky Barnes.

He sat with a group of men, looking every bit like a king surrounded by his court. The men around him were engaged in conversation, discussing something of importance while enjoying their drinks and their own company, but Bucky was completely still. His eyes were locked onto you, unwavering and intense, his gaze tracing your every move as if committing them to memory. You could almost feel his suspicion, his distrust, pressing against you, wrapping around you like a silent demand, the weight of it making your breath catch in your throat.

Even from a distance, the power of his presence was undeniable, an anchor amid the ever-shifting currents of the club. The men around him spoke in low tones, exchanging words over glasses of dark liquor, but Bucky remained distant, seemingly uninterested in their discussion. His fingers rested lightly on the rim of his glass, tapping an almost rhythmic beat, but his attention never wavered from you.

You could feel the heat of his stare, the quiet intensity of it sending a shiver down your spine. It was as if he was daring you to acknowledge him, to let your eyes linger just a second longer than they should. And for a brief moment, you did.

Your gaze met his, and the air seemed to shift between you, thickening with an unspoken tension that curled around your skin like invisible tendrils. A slow smirk ghosted the edge of his lips, not just a look but an invitation, a silent declaration that he could see through every carefully placed wall, peeling back each layer with disturbing ease. It was a challenge, a provocation wrapped in calculated amusement.

Your skin prickled, a ghost of awareness crawling down your spine, warning you that you were seeing something you weren’t meant to. A shiver rolled through you, but you held his gaze, trapped in the unrelenting force of his scrutiny. The intensity of it made your breath feel shallow, your pulse just a beat too fast.

And yet, despite the quiet battle raging in the air between you, you couldn’t bring yourself to look away first.

The spell broke when the dark-skinned man next to Barnes spoke to him, drawing his attention away. Bucky’s smirk vanished instantly, his expression hardening as he turned to listen, the relaxed grip on his glass tightening. Though the group seemed to find amusement in whatever comment the other man was making. The momentary reprieve allowed you to glance away, your gaze sweeping the room.

That’s when you noticed the older blonde man speaking with Yelena at the bar. Something about the way she held herself made your stomach twist. There was a stiffness to her posture, a tension that hadn’t been there before when you'd looked over towards her earlier.  Her expression remained composed, but her head turned towards  Bucky’s table before returning to the man, something wary lurking just beneath the surface.

She wasn’t just giving directions-she was pointing him there deliberately. And not out of politeness.

You weren’t supposed to be seeing this. The realization struck like a bolt of lightning. You were witnessing something quiet, something subtle, but unmistakably important. Your presence here was incidental, but suddenly, it felt invasive. Like an observer to a conversation not meant for outside eyes.  You forced yourself to turn and have your eyes move across the cross the room. But when you looked back at Bucky, his expression had shifted once more, the mask of cool detachment slipping back into place. His sharp blue eyes remained fixed on you, but there was something else now-an edge, a calculation, like he was already deciding his next move.

The newcomer approached Barnes, his movements steady, unhurried. He leaned down, murmuring something in Bucky’s ear.  Whatever was said had drained the air from around him, replacing it with something cold, something urgent. The shift was nearly imperceptible, but undeniable. But you witness it move to effect the others at the table.  A thread of tension wove through the group, their casual postures straightening, amusement dissolving into something heavier.

Bucky gave a small, almost imperceptible nod before rising smoothly from his seat. The movement wasn’t rushed, but it carried weight, his control evident in every step he took toward the Staff Only door. The men at his table followed without hesitation, their conversations abandoned, their drinks forgotten.

No one  else seemed to notice, the patrons seemed blissfully unaware, too wrapped up in their own indulgences. You couldn't work out why you felt cold, was it that last look he gave you, or maybe just him being absent drained the heat you felt. Curling fingers gripped the microphone a little tighter, you forced yourself to keep singing, to maintain the illusion that nothing had changed, but your mind buzzed with questions.

You had no idea what had just happened-but you were certain of one thing:

Something was wrong.  For now, though, you pushed the thought aside and focused on the music. There would be time for questions later. Though ones you had a feeling you had no business asking- ones you'd keep to yourself. 

Bucky leaned back in his seat, one arm draped lazily over the back of the booth, his fingers tapping idly against the dark wood as his sharp blue eyes remained locked on the stage. The music curled through the club like slow-burning smoke, filling every corner with its sultry pull. But it wasn’t just the music holding him still. It was her.

She made it look effortless. The way she leaned into the microphone, the way the lyrics slipped from her lips like she was breathing them, as natural as the hum of a record spinning late into the night. It should have been a relief to see her fit in so seamlessly, to watch her take to the stage like it had always belonged to her. Instead, it put his nerves on edge.

It looked right. Felt right.

And that’s what unsettled him.

She wasn’t just some temporary fill-in, someone fumbling to make the best of a situation. No, she carried herself like she’d done this forever, like she had an unshakable rhythm of her own. But it was more than that-it was the way she absorbed the room, her gaze drifting across the patrons, pausing a little too long on the right people. She wasn’t just performing. She was taking things in.

She was noticing too much.

And that made her dangerous.

Bucky had spent a lifetime spotting threats before they could take root. It was instinct, an unrelenting hum in his bones. But this? This was different.

“You’re doing the staring thing again,” Sam murmured, his tone half amused, half exasperated. He lifted his glass to his lips, watching Bucky with a smirk. “You’re gonna burn a hole through her.”

Bucky didn’t so much as blink. “She doesn’t seem to mind.”

Sam chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, maybe that’s a good sign. Not everyone can handle your scowling ass all night.”

The conversation around the table continued, drifting in and out of his awareness, but Bucky remained focused. He wasn’t just watching her sing. He was studying her. The way her fingers skimmed the mic stand, the way her shoulders moved just a little too deliberately, the way she seemed to lose herself in the music-but never quite enough. There was a sharpness beneath it, an attentiveness she couldn’t quite shake.

Then he saw it. The moment her attention faltered, her gaze shifting past the stage lights, locking onto something-or someone-at the bar.

He didn’t turn to look. He didn’t have to.

“She’s too observant,” he muttered under his breath, already feeling Clint’s presence beside him.

A firm hand landed on his shoulder. “We got eyes down by the docks,” Clint murmured, voice low. “Stark’s people were seen near the water. Watching one of our shipments come in.”

Bucky exhaled slowly, his jaw tightening just slightly. It wasn’t unexpected, but it was still a problem. “How close?”

Clint leaned in. “Close enough.”

Bucky set his glass down with a quiet clink, fingers curling around the edge of the table. He didn’t move yet, just watched. One more moment.

Then he stood, adjusting the cuff of his sleeve. The men around him followed without hesitation, falling into step as he made his way toward the Staff Only door.

But not before he looked at her one last time.

She was still singing, but there was something in her expression. A wariness. A quiet, creeping awareness.

She wasn’t just a performer. She was watching. That meant he’d have to watch her too. But right now, there were bigger matters at hand. 

[calebdatabase]

Caleb • 0400

"Caleb Xia will serve as a stark reminder of the power that Ever possesses across timelines."

SUMMARY | A private glimpse into the Farspace Fleet Colonel’s morning after being plagued with nightmares (and daydreams) about you. 

GENRE | Minor Angst, Missing Scene, Worldbuilding, Plot, Sci-Fi

TAGS | T-Rated, Mullet!ColonelCaleb, Brief mentions of F!MC, She's referred to as his adopted sister, Yearning ofc, Flashbacks, Stalking tendencies, Use of Evol, Mention of death, Brief panic attack, Toring Chip influence, Implied telepathic connection, Pre-Homecoming Wings, Implied feelings, Shower scene hiii, Questionable daydreaming

WC | 2.8k Oneshot A/N | Hi, welcome to my first LADS fic! Call me Vaix. I wanted to explore the significance of Caleb’s Farspace Fleet Colonel uniform and what it represents to him versus outsiders. We often get to see impressions of him in full Colonel mode through MC's pov, but what about when he’s alone with his own thoughts at 4am in the morning? That’s the Caleb I’m trying to uncover here. Enjoy 🩶

© 2025, Caleb Database. All rights reserved. Do not translate or post anywhere.

Caleb is met with pitch black as his eyes split open, skin damp with cold sweat, the Toring Chip working overtime to temper his emotions. He bolts up from his sheets like a spooked animal, fighting to distinguish reality from dreamscape.

Shaky, calloused fingers reach for his tag out of instinct only to graze his collarbone. He’s reminded that it's no longer in his possession and hadn’t been for a long time.

Caleb drops his head forward as he clings to that last perfect image he had of his adopted sister all grown up, right outside their childhood home. He tries to overwrite his haunting memory of nearly being consumed in flames with the stubborn jut of her chin and those bright determined eyes flashing at him just seconds before the incident.

“You can’t protect me forever.”

When she held his gaze and spoke her truth aloud, Caleb had some choice words to say in response. But he bit his tongue instead, conceded to her as he always had. 

And now? Things were different, and he’d be handling business on his own terms.

Thinking back, he wouldn’t have hesitated to forfeit Josephine’s life again to shield his sister completely from the blast. Although losing the woman who raised them no doubt caused the girl grief, there was nothing he would’ve done differently because she came out of it in one piece.

In his brief coma that followed, there wasn’t a second that went by where his subconscious thoughts weren’t filled with her. It was like he was watching an endless loop of their childhood memories bleeding together behind his heavy eyelids.

Some memories felt like home and others didn’t belong– white walls stained with red, endless syringes, the stench of death lingering in the air.

By the time he awoke on his deathbed, he was barely able to make sense of Lucius’ offer in exchange for his survival. In spite of his broken body, he found that he couldn’t quite let go. Not yet. 

In his most tumultuous moments, the common thread of devotion that tethered him to her always remained true.  

Relinquishing his freedom to the Ever Group for a chance at power to keep her safe was the easiest choice to make in his life. And now, he could make himself even more useful, redirecting Ever’s attention off her by molding himself into the ideal vessel for the conglomerate's most groundbreaking project in the works.

Once a pilot in training, he resigned to forfeit his life to the infinite darkness within the Deep Space tunnel. Now having returned to the cosmos that nearly swallowed him whole as the Farspace Fleet’s Colonel, he’d find a way to conquer it.

Caleb fights to steel himself, eyes narrowing in the dark as he kneads his throat. It’s dry and scratchy like he had been talking in his sleep again. Probably screaming. Luckily for him, the dense steel walls that made up his living quarters on the FSCV-01 were soundproof. 

Nightmares always left him disoriented beyond belief upon waking. He should’ve felt relief once he broke out of his dreamscape, but he doesn’t, not entirely. It’s not often he experiences fear while awake, but the effects of his dreams still linger in his nerves. 

Terror is an insidious thing, never failing to discriminate his state of consciousness to impose itself on him.

It made a home in his marrow, housed there since his childhood, festering from endless days spent in laboratories and surgical rooms that seemed like a blur.

He once felt trapped in loss and grief— a seemingly endless cycle when she would reappear in front of him after each experiment as if she were just meeting him for the first time. 

It’s a phenomenon that only occurs when she’s involved. A sensation exacerbated beyond belief by the mere thought of losing the only soul who affirms his miserable existence. An existence that grows more numb by the day...

Suddenly, the Toring chip finally feels like it’s doing its job to regulate his pulse. He breathes easier, but just barely.

Caleb spares a glance over his shoulder; the faint white glow of his alarm clock indicates that it’s just past four in the morning.

It would be unproductive to force himself back to sleep despite feeling like he’s gotten zero rest. By 0600 the starship would reach a point in their voyage that branches off into several different pathways, all marked for exploration.

A seemingly standard mission disguised as a trap set by the fleet’s old guard. Nothing to overly concern himself with aside from guarding his life with vigilance. He'd see to it that the mission would be completed regardless.

‘Just get moving.’

Caleb reaches for a thin silver remote on his bedside table and taps it. When he moves to stand, the floor feels like ice penetrating the soles of his feet but it wakes him up a fair bit.

A massive panel of smooth frosted glass flickers to reveal the inky cosmos swirling with glowing stardust as the starship continues on its set path through the Deep Space Tunnel. Filtered low light fills his otherwise dark room, slightly brightening the space for him to walk through with ease.

The bathroom lights activate to reveal his blurred reflection in the mirror. Ignoring it, he leans over to run the faucet and gathers a handful of frigid water to soothe his throat.

He washes away the sleep from his eyes before flicking droplets from his fingers. When he’s ready to face the state of himself, he lifts his head, bracing his hands on either side of the polished sink.

Dark amethyst eyes bore back at him briefly before they traced down to his bare collarbone. Unkempt tendrils of dark hair are plastered to his cheekbones and curl around the base of his neck.

Caleb hadn’t bothered to cut his hair since the day he was nearly wiped off the face of the earth. Guess he was lucky to still have a full head of hair in the first place after an explosion like that.

A wet sheen of perspiration coating his upper body just confirms his dire need for a routine cold shower.

He wastes no time in shedding his loose black sweatpants and turning the water temperature dial to cold before stepping under the rainfall shower.

Water pelts part of his skin like shards but it briefly soothes the throbbing behind his eyes. Beneath the spray of water, he flexes his right hand absentmindedly, the limb completely numb...

A small but mighty fist raps insistently at the wooden bathroom door. “Caleb you’re taking forever, quit hogging all the hot water!” He rolls his eyes at her insistence but quickly rinses suds from his hair. “I’m taking a cold shower, dummy, and it’s only been five minutes–” “Liar, it’s been twenty!” “Seriously, stop trying to barge in,” his voice drones over the splashing of water. He smirks when his accusation earns an affronted gasp from the younger girl. It's more than easy to picture her cute features scrunched in disgust. “Ew! I am not trying to barge in!”

Caleb scoffs as water trickles into his lashes, then the scene shifts imperceptibly. A sudsy head of hair suddenly leans into his touch, that familiar delicate slope of shoulders tight beneath his fingertips. Tense from combat training and in need of his usual service, he presumes– until she intentionally presses back against him.

Caleb nearly jumps out of his skin, blinking water out of his eyes, and realizes he’s staring at the smooth white wall.

Oh. A flicker of a daydream first thing in the morning was not a good sign. 

Guilt forms in a thick knot within his throat. He releases a sharp breath and pumps body wash into his palm before roughly scrubbing down. Of course, these memories choose to plague him this morning, of all mornings.

Maybe he should have just slid back into bed, endured the nightmares, and allowed his alarm clock to wake him up an hour from now.

Still, his mind threatened to linger there in the comfort of familiarity. Similar to how dark vines used to the shadows twist across a slab of stone warmed by the sun. Nostalgia had a way of suspending him in reverie more than he should’ve allowed. 

Within a few minutes, Caleb emerges from the bathroom with a towel tucked around his waist and icy breath. A double tap on the remote shifts the lighting to something more ambient, subtly revealing streamlined furnishings dipped in black and lustrous silver.

Everything in his quarters was impersonal from the lack of decor on the walls down to the missing photos of a certain someone that belonged on his bedside table. The kitchenette tucked away in the corner was seldom used except to brew coffee when he required a jolt of energy. It’d been a long time since he cooked anything.

The reality was that he only slept and ate on these excursions in rare stints; typical of his schedule even when he was a mere cadet.

Still, if the ruthless girl plaguing his daydreams caught wind of his slacking, his culinary skills would be under scrutiny– but it was futile wish to even entertain.

His hand waves across the air, revealing the luminescence of her hologram portrait. He's only half aware of how his shoulders unwind as he takes in her smile, the perfect balance of amiability and professionalism. So unlike the brat he raised. Caleb’s gaze softens, a rare sight these days.

The girl’s eyes lacked the gleam they once held, her gaze steeled from her experiences. That practiced smile of hers didn't fool him. She looked far from jaded but he could tell she'd been through it.

He had let her go through it all alone.

Would she resent him if she ever discovered he’d been alive all this time? Knowing he let her fend for herself?

Over the past year, he saved every piece of media he could get his hands on whenever she made the headlines as a Hunter. Soundbites of her voice, photos, and interview clips. Especially videos of her whereabouts outside of work, recorded by his private surveillance drones.

Nothing instilled more pride in his heart than seeing how far she’s come in her career. But the more she grows, the closer she gets to the truth…

Wherever whispers of an Aether Core begin, she would inevitably follow without realizing the dangers that lie ahead.

The hologram portrait disappears and dims his features as he drops his hand, fist clenching tight.

If she ever came within the vicinity of the fleet, he would resort to any and all methods to ensure her safety. No matter the cost. He made up his mind about it a long time ago. 

Caleb moves to retrieve the layers of garments that made up his uniform from his closet, slipping them over his taut muscles one by one. 

Black. Grey. Tie. More black. 

Caleb’s almost mindless as he fastens buttons and buckles in place, both human and synthetic skin efficiently hidden by a heavy garb that straightens his subordinate's spines when they lay eyes on it.

He’s worn a myriad of uniforms throughout his twenty-five years, but this was certainly the most prestigious one yet. Most people his age commonly experience bouts of impostor syndrome at an early point in their careers. 

Considering he was fast-tracked into this position by Ever’s influence, he should be the ultimate victim of it. And yet, he’s never wavered about his purpose since stepping foot into this role.

The first time Caleb wore this uniform, he embraced its suffocating weight knowing it would allow him to keep her safe in the only way he knew how.

Lucius silently circled the tall, dark-haired man, observing the way he donned the Farspace Fleet’s Colonel uniform as if he had done so for his entire life. Those who have worked to attain the rank of Colonel were often twice his age. He’d be an anomaly within the fleet, but it did not matter. There was nothing anybody could say or do to evict the new Colonel from his position. The uniform was flawlessly tailored to broad shoulders that would carry out Ever Group’s plans to infiltrate one of the many fleets to come.  Lucius was the kind of scientist who preferred to play to his experiment’s strengths and enhance them to the fullest. Selecting Caleb Xia for this task was a no-brainer for the Professor. Even he could recognize how the uniform conformed to Caleb’s brawn, making him appear more like an otherworldly entity than a pawn to be trifled with. Though, many would try.  The young man’s imposing stature, intelligence, and prowess as a pilot pointed him down this revered avenue of opportunity. Not to mention the underlying grit beneath that exterior of calm, stemming from his past as a child experiment. Whatever lies in his past may be a weakness to exploit later down the line, as needed. But above all, his gravity Evol rendered him practically untouchable. It was the sort of ability Ever lusted over, and now, they finally reclaimed one of two missing experiments they thought they’d lost in the Chronorift Catastrophe all those years ago. In due time they would obtain the other. Leading the simple life of a DAA pilot would have been a complete and utter waste of Caleb’s potential. Surely the boy can see it himself. With the best modifications and the Toring Chip’s influence, he’ll certainly give the fleet’s old guard a run for their money. The dogs may bitch and cry about it before being shipped off to Atley Island, but Caleb Xia will serve as a stark reminder of the power that Ever possesses across timelines.  A testament to Lucius’ great work– but their plan was still just beginning. Something twisted emanated from the Professor who merely inclined his chin towards the young Colonel. Caleb silently acknowledged that from here on out, he would be scrutinized by all from head to toe. He could hide nothing from his masters and enemies, one and the same. But he'd continue to hide it all from her, and if it came down to it, keep her hidden away from the world itself.

The metallic clinking of his regalia pulls Caleb out of the memory, his brows knit tight and that migraine back with a vengeance.

With a slow roll of his shoulders, a heft of gold chains brush against accents of maroon and navy. It settles across his chest, distinguishing him from the rest of his crew.

Pressed white trousers are swiftly tucked inside black leather boots that settle above his calves. A tactical holster containing his personal effects seamlessly clicks into place around his left thigh and his hip.

The Farspace Fleet’s insignia seems to sharpen beneath the overhead lights as he slides the hat into place. Black leather gloves cover up the last of his cold skin.

Caleb is already bound for the command bridge one and a half hours earlier than what's stated on his schedule. His crew will just have to learn to adapt to his time swiftly. 

The starship lurches violently, nearly knocking Caleb off his feet if he hadn’t half the mind to activate his Evol. The abrupt sensation reminds him of when he was trapped in his fighter jet in Deep Space and endured bouts of intense turbulence.

A different era entirely.

Obnoxious sirens swirl in flashes of red throughout the halls causing his head to pound even more incessantly. Caleb remains unfazed and continues to move forward.

Either it was interstellar turbulence or the attempts on his life had begun. If it's the latter, it wouldn’t be the first time he’s a target, nor the last.

At the his will, vantablack swirls split through the plane of space outside the paneled windows of the corridor. The strategically placed vortexes immediately influence the magnetic waves of FSCV-01’s flight path. For now, they'll stabilize the starship’s wild tremors until he can rule out the cause.

Caleb had a feeling he managed to execute something similar on a smaller scale while unconscious inside the belly of the Deep Space Tunnel years ago. Since entering the fleet, he's performed the skill countless times even as a cadet, and would always manage to smooth out the flight path of any vessel he was aboard.

Even without Ever Group pulling the strings for his promotion, the Farspace Fleet would have been stupid not to consider him an eventual candidate for Colonel.

At this point, Caleb was used to the universe's attempts to snuff him out of existence. Would a few extra power-hungry fleet dogs thrown into the mix make a difference?

Caleb fixes his stoic gaze ahead and continues to the brig, mentally shuffling through everything that could’ve gone wrong with the engine, personnel, or weather conditions. Whatever it may be, he'll ensure his starship’s return to Earth.

Because even now, light years away from his home planet, he feels an inexplicable ache within his chest.

Caleb knows he’s but a memory to her.

She’s already moved on. As for him?

He wouldn’t dream of it.