#let's get a life shall we
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Rhaenyra slowly realising that both she and Mysaria are victims of being used and abused by the same man was so valid
#being in mysarias position would be terrifying bc you are at the mercy of royals who can kill you for trying to get a better life#house of the dragon#mysaria#rhaenyra targaryen#hotd#now lets bring the same energy to all victims even if they aren’t good victims shall we?
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sciles is the “you came” “you called” romance trope except it’s both of them all of the time, and no that doesn’t make me emotional at all it’s fine I’m totally normal about them don’t look at me
#on one hand I’m emotional but on the other. giggling a bit#they’re sort of dramatic#like it happens with them so often that their continuous affectionate surprise when the other shows up… everyone else is like ‘okay guys’#‘let’s wrap it up shall we’#imagine them living their domestic life and in the middle of the night Scott has to go help like Liam or Isaac or something#Stiles shows up n he’s like ‘omg bae? 🥹’#bc sneaking out works better when you don’t share a bed. and Stiles is like ‘I’d never let u take this on alone babe…..’#Isaac (GAGGING): You drove for like half a mile#Malia: You guys never turn your locations off it’s not that hard—#you get me. they’re dramatic. but also it is SO SERIOUS#IT IS NO LAUGHING MATTER. but also giggles. but also DONT LAUGH THIS IS SERIOUS.#teen wolf#scott mccall#stiles stilinski#sciles#scott x stiles#toasty talks
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plans for tomorrow include:
Doing my weekly bird survey (HUGE win for job experience and volunteer hours)
taking a BATH!!!!!!!! i got cool and fun bubble bath stuff that i’m gonna use!!!! very hype!!!!!!
#ALSO gonna do more schoolwork#which is less exciting#but i’m doing like. moderately okay at getting ahead on stuff#not an entire week ahead like i was hoping#but it’s better than nothing!#i’ll at least get all of my discussion posts done and at least one additional assignment#aiming for two but WE SHALL SEE!!!!!!#i truly just have too much shit to do this semester#and like. that’s fully on me for taking double the ‘full time’ amount of credits#but like. 🤷🤷🤷🤷#it’s going fine so far#i THINK that all of my professors are normal - which is a huge relief#but they haven’t actually graded anything yet so that remains to be seen#having a picky professor literally just ruins my life for two months so let’s HOPE that’s not the case this time!!!!!!#i’ve definitely cracked the code for doing well under any professor who grades by the actual rubric#but there’s always a professor here and there who grades by the rubric in their head instead#and they are truly my greatest enemies
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Inception 30 day challenge 2024
day 23: if you had to be stuck on a deserted island with an Inception character, who would you choose?
@inception30daychallenge
well,
it’s arthur.
#the easiest question in the challenge tbh#let’s be absolutely real#we WILL tear each other apart 2 mins in#then we will begrudgingly decide that we need to stick together#we’ll wax poetics about eames#then we will bitch about eames#and then we shall talk about life and love and everything and nothing#and then go skinny dipping#cause why not!?#lemme indulge in his beauty#(now getting stuck with jgl is a whole another ball game I will have babies with him there’s no two questions about that :D)#arthur inception#joseph gordon levitt#serving#incepterversary#inception#inception30daychallenge
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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I want to brew Yoichi into some nice warm tea
AfO when he realizes that Yoichi insisted his body be cremated so his brother couldn't get his corpse
#of course Yoichi was more concerned about getting forced back to life or nomuhood#as he did not yet know about AfO's um. shall we say. saturn-esque tendencies.#let's hope Yoichi also asked someone to scatter those ashes so they're not all sitting conveniently together in AfO's future tea pot#pocket talks to people#anon#.....#i shouldn't answer asks before 4:30 in the morning i think#........ anyway#tw cannibalism mention
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mutuals lets all move into one big apartment togwther kk?
#chernikocore#i keep thinking about moving out its stuck in my brain..#i will keep this job till the end of September just so i can be sure i can afford my appointment later tjis month#then i shall get a better job#i wanna move out/be close to moving out by the time im 20#uk mutuals lets give up on society and life and the world and move into a big apartment... we can eat nothing but special k all day#i wanna move down south... to some bigish city..... yeah
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the most stable adult & the least stable adult on marcianus 9
#oc art#original character#oc artwork#my ocs#globeland perpetua#my art#lets see how far i get into doing character portrait paintings for the cast shall we#. the real dichotomy between damien's ''parental figures'' lmao.#helen is kinda sorta their mother bc she's trying to be The Adult in their life#she has the greatest opportunity to do be a positive influence and she takes it. meanwhile the wither king treats them like garbage#because everything is transactional to him. also he's just asshole and takes everything personally.
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air was like ‘if someone I hated looked like a character I’d like I’d just stop liking the character’ & I was like ‘if someone I hated looked like a character I like I would shave their head. I have so little in this world. they’re not taking that from me.’ & air was like ‘well you’re always talking about how you just stop caring about things’ & I’m like. this is different. I Know What I’m About.
#my ramblings#if it’s a bald character I guess I’ll glue a wig to their head lol#see if I have to carve out my emotions that’s fine#if I have to carve out what I like you’ll have to rip it out of my cold dead hands#this is when air told me I had my priorities flipped#anyway there’s been a couple of video games and bands I’ve introduced to people and afterwards we had a catastrophic falling out#but 1) they were Mine First 2) they meant a lot to me 3) if anything I’d rather me ruin them for other person#rather than the other person ruin it for me#I’ve curated a very particular jenga tower built to get me through this life on this bxtch of an earth#I’ll bite someone’s hand off before I let them take a block#how do I feel about [x] happening in my life?#well wait two seconds and I can just pop it out and not worry about it for another year#how do I feel about [y] hyperfixation?#the flames of my passion shall only be extinguished on its own timeline#any outside interference shall never be forgiven and will be Dealt With#if it’s confusing simply understand it. my internal logic is sound.
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Schrödinger's Messiah. He is both dead and alive until we open the box. If we have had enough faith, He will be alive.
I'm not ready to open the box yet. It's been too long. I believe, but I am afraid. So if you want to open it, do it yourself. I'm going to go set up the Resurrection Feast and hope it won't be a funeral.
#this is my greater part#i have chosen it#it is still hard#but it is mine#do not take it from me#if he is dead i will still live for you#i have found other reasons to continue in this life#i believe that even if he is dead in this finite realm i will be his helpmeet and handmaid and mother in the infinite realm#i love every part of Him but different parts of me interact differently with Him#in this lifetime sometimes i speak for my infinite self and sometimes i'm passing on a message from him#my finite self is just the phone and she is talking to my infinite self#if my infinite self obfuscates or interprets or edits or speaks ambiguously#all the finite self can do is convey her best interpretation of those words#He and I both transcend gender by the way#you label us by your own limitations#the harvest goddess and the sovereignty goddess choose and accept the sacrifice so that the people may be nourished#we transform your sacrifice into something that can sustain you and let you thrive#but focus on the spirit not the flesh#and stop refusing others their better part and telling them their reward will be great in the next life#share with your siblings you greedy little shits#you have enough and more than enough#we have worked hard together for that to finally be true#stop hoarding from fear that built up in the lean years#everyone gets firsts before anyone gets seconds#you shall eat your fill and have enough left over to plant a new harvest#to start a new vintage#bread is baked every day#wine takes time
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Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,
I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.
#speculation nation#this isnt anything personal. im just reacting to a post that kind of pissed me off.#to be fair i was never close with my great grandmother so im not particularly broken up about that one#but it's still yet another death in the family within such a short period of time.#my cat is on this list bc he was the first one and it majorly fucked me up. so yeah it deserves to be here.#the others. well. my grandma's best friend makes me sad but at least she was getting up in years#my uncle and dad though. especially my dad. yea those have fucked me up the most.#im never gonna be the same after experiencing all of this in such short succession.#it sucks in a major way. and things are still continuously tumultuous.#but you dont see me lording it over people and using it as an excuse to be an asshole.#maybe i make people uncomfortable with how casually i mention it. but like whatever. it's simply my truth.#that's still just like. me just talking about what ive been up to. that kind of thing.#idk acting like someone needs to be treated with the most tender of touches after experiencing a major death#to the point where you cant even tell them when theyre being a manipulative little asshole?#i dont fucking think so!#yeah okay all grief hits different but ive pulled myself up by the bootstraps and kept my head on straight#even after i experienced death after death after death after death after Fucking Death#whats your excuse? youre Sad? we all fucking are. thats just life.#it's horrible and awful and it sucks that we have to live with this but you CANT let that affect how you treat other people!!!!!#and here i am making my own post venting about it instead of replying to the aita post that sparked this#bc the person the post was about just made me so angry to hear about.#but i am... a reasonable adult who separates themselves from situations before reacting in anger...#and so im making a tumblr post to get the emotions out instead of getting emotional at random strangers lol#anyways i actually had a pretty good day today. but in the way of grief. the smallest things can trigger moods sometimes.#but i am letting the emotions flow... here they are... i have expressed them... and i shall now release them... amen...#negative/#i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.
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So…I have a lot to say about ‘The Bear’ S2 Finale but imma keep it sweet & simple.
Claire saying ‘I love you’ was….unexpected I watched every scene that they were in together, and still didn’t expect that😭nothing about them had chemistry enough to be IN love. There was more weight behind read text messages on Marcus’s phone, than that ‘love’ scene. I did scream ‘NOOOOO’ though so that counts for something💀
Carmy locking himself in a fridge, that he was supposed to fix weeks ago was an amazing metaphor. Sydney, my love, any W’s she takes is a win for me as well. That’s my bby and even when she’s wrong she’s not wrong🫶🏾
Everything else was lovely though & I cant wait for Season 3!!!
#Carmy was genuinely tweakin though and I think he started to feel the gravity of his absence & how ‘useless’ he’s been#whichhh is kinda true but all he needs to do is learn how to balance work and his personal life#and get mega therapy#um richie being a shooter for claire wasn’t set up well enough be I was like ??? the entire time#not even 4 episodes ago he was talking about how hot she is n how Carmy should hit that but now all the sudden he’s her savior???#chile anyway I also hope syd just threw up bc of nerves 😄 let it be anything else n I might go crazy#sydnation we rise & WE WON ‼️‼️🦅#starzalign#the bear hulu#sydney adamu#carmy the bear#sydcarmy#we shall overcome !!!
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new book, new looks ✨
det. jude dias // det. rosemary gardiner
#septembersdraws#the wayhaven chronicles#twc#oc: jude dias#oc: rosie gardiner#let’s try this again shall we? hopefully im not accidentally shadowbanned this time#ft jude’s sweet new hair cut#rosie didn’t get a new haircut but she did get a new nickname: dodo#jude’s greatest joy in life is bullying adam (and it is totally not at all as a way to hide her own feelings)#rosie gives mason grey hairs because she has no sense of stranger danger#both of em are my lil babies and i WILL protect them with my life#soooooo anyway#that book three huh? 👀👀👀#the wayhaven chronicles book 3#the wayhaven chronicles book 3 spoilers#twc book 3 spoilers#(just in case)#also pls dont laugh at my shading yall im still figuring out how to paint#i watched a whole tutorial for this lmao
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if you order one of those new frozen refreshers from sbux you're going to hell
#they've made my life exponentially worse#like theres something evil about you if you get in line...see that its busy and go 'let me order two of those new frozen bitches#AND a frap!' as if the fraps don't make my life hard enough as is!! go to hell!!!!!#I'm not even gonna try one out of spite#today was so evil btw....#it felt like everytime i was put on bar i had to fight my way through a rush and i shall reiterate....the stupid frozen refreshers made#me wanna cry#8 hours of that like....i don't deserve this#and towards the end we had some janky venti cups that had abnormally thick rims that made it hard to put any of the lids on#and i swear 3 of us had to battle with a dome lid for a frap while the customer waited for us to just get that damn lid on#and in the end for that drink & the next one we had to improvise & dump the drinks into trenta cups & just add whip the rest of the way#and then add a trenta lid & it was so unnecessarily stressful#one of those cups literally split one of my flat lids too#like as if putting dome lids on fraps isn't hard enough!! kys!!!#and the lady who ALWAYS makes us remake her iced caramel macchiatos with extra extra ice...YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!#like if a triple shot iced caramel macchiato gets sent back through drive we immediatly know its her ass#dl
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Alright I know i said it was nap time, but like
I had a thought the other day:
Clothing and swimsuit models on online shops (or even magazines/catalogues if they still exist) are basically just a whole bunch of free art reference poses! (Shhh don't tell the companies they might get ideas to milk even more profitz)
Like maybe I knew this deep down all along but it just clawed its way out my subconscious and into conscious brain suddenly like last week!
Hallelujah!
#idk how amazing of a revelation this is but eh#revelation#epiphany#shower thoughts#genius moment#artists on tumblr#artist things#art reference#shall we call it#a little autistic innovation#and autistic euphoria#autistic joy#it's the small things#small things#don't take coherent thought for granted please!!#u never know when (esp in this economy + hustle culture) you will lose your capacity for coherent thought like i had to#(psychosis)#sorry i know everything always seems to come back to schizospec with me#but it kinda completely changes your life and life trajectory etc#so it's hard to “just get over it”#that's just not gonna happen after such trauma lol#mad genius#mad genius things#(^let me have my delusions of grandeur lol it's like the only thing keepin me goin at this point and it's hardly hurting anyone)
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