#let’s see if I ever finish this one lol

[wolfie180g]

this is exactly how i got into supernatural. My ma was watching it on netflix in 2011 and got to season 2 before i stopped and went to see wtf she was watching.

I was trying to write my second book but i kept hearing awesome lines in the livingroom. What made me finally close the laptop and come out to watch was when Sam said "Ive got demon blood in me Dean. Im a whole new level of freak."

I started the series from the start but ma wouldnt wait up for me , she kept on truckin, so i had to binge watch faster when she wasnt home lol. Finally she started rewatching the episodes with me and let me catch up so we could watch together.

Been a huge fan ever since and we got half our family addicted to it too. I loaned out my dvds so much i bought a second set of each season so we all could rewatch them simultaneously in diff houses. I couldnt wait for them to finish disk 4 and they hasseled me for disk 5. We got some serious use out of them.

Ma and i literally watched the first like 9 seasons 16 times each and then about 5 times after that per ep. Everytime we finished the show we started back at the first season ep one.

Personally, i stopped rewatching since the finale. Mad how they ended it but also wanting to forget it. Never left the fandom. But they let us down with the finale. (Wheres Cas?!?!) 4 yrs later i started it over again and im back up to season 2 in less than a week. Onto disk 2!

[achilles-rage]

Close To You

summary: buck takes you out to a nice restaurant, then you spend the night at his place; as close to each other as possible.

word count: 5.0k

request: @dreams-encapsulated-in-glamour - So I have a request, if possible! So it’s basically romantic!buck but he’s obsessed with making both you and him cum, like finishing together multiple times throughout the session if that makes sense, with aftercare too!

a/n: thank you so much for requesting this, it was so fun to write. also i definitely got a bit carried away, my bad lol. i really like how this turned out, so i hope you enjoy<33

warnings: smut, no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader

MDNI- 18+ Only!

You smile widely at Buck when you open your front door, your eyes trailing down his suit-clad figure before you lean in to give him a quick kiss.

“This is last minute. What have you got planned tonight, Buckley?” you tease with a raised brow as he takes one of your hands in his and guides you to do a spin for him. He uses this time to let his eyes roam your body, taking in your pretty blue dress and the way it allows him to see every dip and curve of your body. His pretty girl.

“Just wanted to take you out for dinner. Is that a crime?” he says when you’re turned to face him again, teasing you right back and then pulling you both together. He guides your hand up to his shoulder, and then both of his hands grab your hips as he steps into your apartment, and he gives you another, deeper kiss. 

Honestly, he had a close call at work today, and it made him want to see you more than anything. And what better way to spend time with you than by treating you to a nice dinner?

“I guess not. Unless we don’t get dessert, then it’s most definitely a crime.” you reply when you pull away from the kiss, biting your lip as you look up at him with wide eyes. He chuckles, eyes studying your pretty face for a moment before he replies. God, he’d give you anything you asked for.

“Come on, I’m not a monster.” he teases, giving you a wink. You laugh softly, then begrudgingly part from him to grab your purse on your kitchen counter. Buck waits in the entryway, holding the door open as he watches you, and then you’re out the door and on your way down Buck’s jeep. 

You feel giddy as he drives to the restaurant, and he can feel the way your leg is bouncing as he keeps his hand firmly on your thigh. The movement makes your dress ride up your thigh ever so slightly, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Buck, but he tries to ignore it for now. He’s taking you for dinner first. 

You’ve been wanting to go to this new restaurant for months, but reservations are almost impossible to get; you’re not even sure how Buck managed to swing a last-minute reservation.

He acts like a perfect gentleman the whole night; not like you’re not completely used to that treatment from him, but the amount of effort he’s putting into this impromptu date night is making your whole body feel hot. You’re sure that if you weren’t surrounded by strangers right now, you’d be on top of him. 

It started with him opening your car door and helping you into the jeep, then telling you how gorgeous you looked at least four times on the way to the restaurant, then it was pulling out your chair for you, and then it was him insisting on paying for the entire meal. You tried to tell him that you should at least pay for dessert – even though all you have in your purse is your lip gloss and your phone, but it’s the thought that counts – but he shoots you down immediately. 

“I’m paying. It’s not your job to worry about paying for dates.” is all he says as he grabs the cheque, and you’re now completely sure that you’d be on top of him if it weren’t for being in public.

“What’s got you like this tonight?” you ask once you’re back in the jeep, the street lights illuminating Buck’s face every few seconds as you look over at him.

He squeezes your thigh twice as he glances over at you, an innocent smile on his face. He hasn’t been able to keep his eyes off of you all night, and it feels like torture to have to stare at the road until he gets you back to his place.

“Like what?” he asks, and you tilt your head to the side, your eyes narrowing even though there’s still a small smile on your face.

“I don’t know; nice dinner, getting all dressed up. I mean, you’re usually like this, but not this much.” you say and he sighs, shrugging. He doesn’t want to worry you, but he knows he’ll have to tell you eventually; he’s never been able to keep much from you. 

“Just wanna spend time with my girl.” he tries first, and when your eyes narrow more, he tries again. “I just had a bit of a close call at work today. Nothing major, but I just wanted to do something with you, I don’t know.”

Your eyes soften at his words, and although you’re worried about how close this call really was, you know that it’s part of the job, and that he’s made it home safe today either way.

You grab his hand off of your thigh and squeeze it, then bring it up to your lips to kiss the back of his hand. He smiles over at you, and he feels the blush on his cheeks at the tender moment. 

“I love you.” is all you say when you meet his gaze for a split second. He hums softly as he looks back at the road, finally pulling onto his street.

“I love you. So much.” he replies.

When you get to his building, it’s like a switch flips. The second the elevator doors close, your lips meet each other’s, and he’s pulling you in by the hips as you wrap your arms around his neck. 

Both of your hands start to wander as the elevator brings you to his floor; both of your breathing growing laboured and soft whines escaping your lips as you both fight the urge to rip the other’s clothes off.  When you hear the faint dinging, you part begrudgingly, both panting as Buck takes your hand again and leads you to his door.

As he unlocks his door, you wrap your arms around his torso from behind, running your nails up and down the thin fabric of his dress shirt. You can’t help the soft giggle that tumbles from your lips when he drops his keys and lets out a rough “fuck;” his hands shaking so much in anticipation for what he’s planning on doing to you that he can hardly focus. 

As soon as the door is unlocked, you both stumble inside, and he kicks the door closed with his foot as he cups your cheeks in his hands, bringing your lips together once again. Your purse drops to the floor as he kicks off his shoes, barely parting from your hot kiss as he backs you up towards the kitchen.

When you feel your back hit the kitchen counter, Buck’s hands slide down your ass to the back of your thick thighs and lift you onto the counter, making your dress ride up your thighs even more.

“God, you’re so beautiful. How did I get so lucky?” he whispers against your lips as his fingers trial up under your dress and along the outside of your thighs. You pull back with a dazed grin, eyes darting down to his puffy lips for a moment before you reply.

“I think I could ask you the same thing.” you tease, and he grins too. He admires you for a moment as you sit on his counter, your plush belly and thighs on full display for his eyes, and he has to fight back a groan. He’s so in love with you. 

He kneels in front of you for a moment, and you’re about to ask him what he’s doing, but then he grabs one of your ankles and begins to unbuckle your heel. You watch with a soft smile as he takes both your shoes off, and when he takes each one off, he finishes with pressing a soft kiss to your shin, just below the knee. 

When he stands back up, you both just stare at each other for a moment, looking into each other's eyes and both silently wondering how you got so lucky to find each other.

He brings your lips back to his for one more kiss, placing one hand on the side of your neck, before he trails kisses down your jaw to your neck. You tilt your head back immediately, and your hands eagerly go to his chest, trying blindly to push his suit jacket off of his shoulders. 

His lips don’t leave your neck as he shrugs off his jacket, and when his arms are free again, he wastes no more time in pushing your dress up to expose your lower half, the skirt now bunched around your waist.

Neither of you care that you’re both still fully clothed as you work to unbuckle Buck’s belt and he pushes your panties to the side, two fingers gliding through your slick folds. 

You bite your lips as you work to get his cock free, and when you’re finally able to pull him out of his pants, you waste no time in wrapping your hand around him. His two fingers have already plunged into your cunt as you stroke his cock, both of you moaning softly and bringing your lips together in a sloppy kiss as you try to focus on the other’s pleasure.

You try to keep a steady pace, running your thumb over the head of his cock every so often, but you’re finding it increasingly difficult as he uses two fingers to fuck you and his thumb to rub circles over your clit. 

To make matters worse, every few strokes, he sways forward; closer to you, and his tip presses against your dripping cunt so teasingly that you want to scream. If it weren’t for his desperate moans and grunts, you’d be sure that he’s doing it on purpose. His kisses to your neck feel white hot, and you can’t help but close your eyes as you keep your head tilted back.

When you feel him start to get closer to the edge, you slow your pace, moving achingly slow as he picks up the pace of his fingers. He curls them up to hit that spot inside you, and you mewl loudly, tilting your head back as you feel yourself getting close to the edge now, as well. He smirks as he sees your expression, and he coos softly, tilting your head back down with his other hand and bringing your lips back to his. 

In a few more strokes, he’s right on the edge, and he leans back from your lips again, urging you to take your hand off his cock and replacing it with his own. You lean back on your hands as you watch him, eyes glued to his hands as he continues to rub your clit roughly and fuck his fist, and in a few seconds, you’re both falling over the edge with loud moans.

He keeps his eyes on your cunt as you both cum, watching you clench around nothing as he paints your pussy with his cum. You bite your lips as your chest heaves, and you finally look back up to Buck’s face, meeting his eyes as you both try to catch your breaths. 

He finally removes his fingers and brings them up to his mouth, licking them clean with a soft groan. You watch him intently, your mouth going dry as you become unable to think about anything other than how fucking good your boyfriend looks right now. Sure, he’s attractive all the time, but right now, with his slightly wrinkled dress shirt and his blown pupils, you’re not sure how you’re ever able to leave the house.

“I’m nowhere near done with you.” Buck says, after he’s finished cleaning his fingers, then brings you in for another passionate kiss. He yanks you closer by your hips, and you put your hands on his chest, shaky hands working to unbutton the shirt so you can see his beautiful torso.

When you finally get the last button undone, your hands move back up to his chest, then to his shoulders, and you push the shirt down his arms and off his body. 

You part from his lips to look at his bare chest, your fingers ghosting across the scars and freckles on his skin. He chuckles softly as he watches your eyes move down his torso, seemingly in a daze, and he lets you look at him for a moment, then uses one hand to lift your chin back up to face him with a smile.

“It hardly seems fair that I’m practically naked and you’re still fully clothed, baby. I think I’m gonna have to even the playing field.” he teases, gesturing to his bare chest and his pants now sitting low on his thighs. 

You laugh softly, but it turns into a quiet yelp as he pulls you off the counter to stand in front of him and then turns you around and pushes your upper half onto the cold countertop. You hum softly, biting your lips as he grabs the hem of your dress and pushes it up to bunch around your waist again, admiring your pretty panties that have moved back into place from your movements and the dark wet spot now covering your cunt. 

In one swift motion he yanks your panties down, and you shiver as the cool air hits you.

“Almost there.” he whispers in your ear as he leans over you, pressing your back to his front. His arms loop around your torso, one hand landing on your plush tummy, and the other just above your chest, and then he pulls you back up to stand up straight.

 He works quickly to pull your dress off your body and throw it to the side, and then he works to get your bra unclasped, sliding the straps down your shoulders painfully slowly once it’s undone.

“You’re so pretty, baby. My pretty girl.” he rasps as he gently pushes you back down onto the countertop, and you whine softly, desperate to feel him. You push your hips back against his, and he groans as he grips your hips, stopping your actions.

“I’m getting there, sweetheart. I’ve got you.” he purrs, and you whimper in anticipation. As much as he normally likes to hear you beg, he doesn’t think he has it in him right now. So, without any warning, he grabs his cock and glides it through your folds, coating himself with your arousal, and then he buries himself to the hilt with a loud moan.

You lurch forward as you feel him stretch you out, feeling his tight grip on your hips as he slowly slides out almost completely, only to bury himself into your sopping cunt in one swift motion. As he starts to fuck you, all you can do is moan, and your cheek resting against the cold counter is a harsh contrast to the way your skin is burning. 

While he keeps one hand on your hip, his other moves up to your back, ghosting over your rolls and your stretch marks as he tries to touch as much of your skin as he can. You’re always so pretty for him, and right now is no exception.

His lips press hot kisses to the back of your neck and your back between low moans in your ear as he leans over you, and you can’t help the whimpers and pleas tumbling from your lips as he fucks into you like he hasn’t seen you in weeks.

As he keeps the steady pace of his thrusts, he leans down again, pressing his chest to your back. He’s desperate to feel you as much as he can; desperate to touch you and love on you, as if letting up on his hold will make you disappear right before his eyes.

He trails one of his hands from your hip to your arm, forcing you to hold your wrist up above your head on the counter as he intertwines your fingers, his palm pressed against the back of your hand; desperate to convey how much he loves you.

He fucks you slowly, moaning into your ear as he whispers soft praises into your ear. How good you feel around him. How well you take his cock. How pretty your moans are. He’s pressed so firmly against you as his hips move that it feels like he’s trying to mold you two together, not that you mind. Him being so close feels so good, the movements of his hips aside. 

He can feel you clenching around him, and he can hear the way your moans become more high pitched and breathy, and he knows you’re close. He picks up the pace just slightly, although it’s far more slow and sensual than usual, and you moan loudly, grip tightening on his fingers.

“You gonna cum with me, baby?” he murmurs in your ear, and you nod quickly, trying to move your hips back against him.

“Please, wanna feel you.” you whimper in response, and he smirks. He moves his other hand from your hip and wraps it around you, fingers moving to circle your clit sloppily as he tries to hold off on cumming too soon. He loves the feeling of both of you letting go together, and he’s desperate to bring you to the edge before he fucking explodes. 

“I’m gonna- I’m-” you moan breathlessly a few moments later, and with a few more thrusts, you’re both reaching your highs. You feel his cum painting your insides, and you let out a content sigh, smiling when you feel Buck bury his head in the crook of your neck. He rests there for a minute or two, still buried inside of you as you come down from your highs, and you can’t help your eyes fluttering shut as the warmth of his body on top of you consumes you.

“You’re always so good for me.” he whispers against your skin, his breath tickling you and making you let out a breathy laugh. 

“Can we do that again?” you tease, barely able to keep your eyes open as you focus on his voice. He chuckles softly, pressing a kiss to the middle of your back; right between your shoulder blades, then stands up straight. 

He finally slides out of you, groaning at the mess between your thighs as he spreads you open with his hands on your ass, then pulls you to stand up straight and turns you to face him.

“Patience, baby. We’ve got all night.” he murmurs as he moves one hand up to grip your throat gently, stopping you from rising onto your toes and kissing him again. 

His eyes soften as you pout, and he chuckles; he can’t say no to you. He leans down and gives you a featherlight kiss that leaves your head spinning. He’s usually gentle with you, unless you ask otherwise, but tonight, you can feel his love for you pouring out of him.

“You wanna go upstairs?” he asks when he pulls away, and you nod. Your knees feel weak at all the attention – and the orgasms he just pulled from you – so lying down sounds perfect right now. 

He pulls his pants back up, just until he can get to his room and take them off completely, then guides you up the stairs to his room, trying desperately to keep his eyes off your ass as you walk ahead of him. 

When you get to his room, you collapse onto his bed while he pulls his pants off, and when he’s finally lying beside you on his back and your cheek is pressed against his chest, you barely even think to care about the mess between your thighs. You’re sure you won’t be going to sleep soon either way.

“How bad was your close call today?” you ask after a few moments of silence, fingers trailing along his chest in front of your face.

“I mean, it wasn’t good, but it wasn’t being struck by lightning or anything.” he tries to joke, a sheepish look on his face. You lift your head off his chest and look up at him with a raised brow and he sighs. “Alright. I was trying to save someone who had fallen off their balcony, and was hanging on the side of their building. When I got lowered down, the winch malfunctioned, and I almost fell. I saved the person, though. Everyone’s alright.” 

You sigh, biting your lip. Of course his attention is focused on the person he saved.

“But are you okay?” you ask, and he nods quickly, giving you a look that shows you he’s not lying.

“Baby, I’m fine. Promise. You just saw all of me, I don’t have any bruises or anything.” he tries to joke, and this time you do laugh a little. He’s right; you hadn’t seen anything to convince you that he isn’t okay.

“You’re a good man.” you tell him after a second, looking up at him with sparkling eyes. He blushes, a smile fighting its way onto his face as he raises a brow. Your smile widens when you see his confused expression and hear the small “thank you” that falls from his lips before you explain.

“You just told me that you almost fell off a building today, and the first thing you said after that is that the person you were meant to save is alright.” His brows furrow, and he shrugs, a little confused as to why you’re praising him right now. Not that he minds, of course. “Well, yeah. That’s why I was there.” he says a bit hesitantly.

“Baby, if anyone else was in your situation, they’d probably only be worried about themself. I’m sure that as you were struggling to keep yourself from falling, you were still thinking about the person you were trying to save.” He can feel his cheeks getting hot at your praise, finally understanding. Although he doesn’t feel like he deserves the praise, he relishes in it, staring into your eyes with so much love.

“I’m so happy you’re all mine.” you whisper before you press your lips to his. He lets out a content sigh as his arm wraps around your waist, helping you sit up and straddle his hips.

Once you’re on his lap, legs on either side of his body, his hands move to your thick thighs, digging into the flesh as he melts into the kiss. He lets you kiss him for a minute or two, but it’s when you start moving your hips against his that he flips you over, trapping you under his weight.

You laugh softly as you stare up at him, wrapping your legs around his hips as he settles between your legs, and you can feel his cock against your heat, growing hard at the small bit of friction.

“You want more, huh, baby?” he teases you softly, although he knows that he wants you just as bad.

“Please?” you ask as you look up at him with big, wide eyes. He groans at the pleading look on your face, and he glides one hand down the side of your face as the other holds himself up.

“You’re gonna get what you want, pretty girl.” he murmurs before his lips are on yours. You moan against his lips as his tongue slides into your mouth, and you loosen your legs around his hips to allow him to grind against you slowly.

He’s painfully hard again as he moves against you, and he can’t hold himself back from grabbing his cock and sliding into you slowly after a few seconds, desperate to feel you again.

Your face scrunches up as he bottoms out, and you keep your eyes on him as he begins to move, soft moans tumbling from your parted lips.

He can’t get over how pretty you look under him; sprawled out on his bed, your soft belly and tits moving with each thrust, and your big eyes locked on his as he splits you open on his cock. He can feel your skin against his as he moves his hips, one hand still holding himself up while the other moves down your neck to your chest, squeezing one of your breasts.

You arch your back into him, tilting your head back and closing your eyes as the pleasure envelopes you. He takes the time to admire you again, and relishes in how you feel pressed against him, so eager to take all that he’s willing to give you.

He looks back up at your face after a moment, then gently taps your cheek with two fingers, urging you to open your eyes again. When your eyes flutter open again, he moans, feeling your fingers digging into his shoulders as he stares deeply into your eyes. 

You’re both feeling sensitive from your previous orgasms, so it doesn’t take long for both of you to get close to the edge yet again. Buck keeps his eyes locked with yours the entire time, however, loving every expression that crosses your face and how you look spread open for him on his bed. 

As you both get closer and closer, he moves his hand to your throat, gripping it gently, as if to force you to keep your eyes open, he can tell that you’re struggling to keep your eyes open. 

“Can you give me one more, baby?” he asks and you nod, whimpering as you keep your eyes locked on his. You can see the thin layer of sweat across his skin, and you bite your lip, feeling yourself getting dangerously close to the edge.

He pulls you in for a kiss, his hand still firmly on your throat, and his thrusts grow sloppy as his balls tighten.

With a few more thrusts, you’re both falling over the edge, and Buck leans away from your lips just in time for you to watch each other cum. As his hips still, you take the time to close your eyes, breathing heavily as you feel his release fill you up. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to that feeling.

“God, I love you.” he whispers as he nuzzles into your neck. He presses soft kisses to your skin as you both come down from your highs, letting you relax as he keeps your fronts pressed together. 

“I love you.” you whisper back, your eyes still closed as you bask in the feeling of him still pressed against you.

After a minute or two, he pulls out, and you whimper softly, suddenly feeling extremely empty. You frown when you see him stand up from the bed, but when he holds out a hand to you, you smile.

“Shower?” is all he says. You nod, grabbing his hand and letting him help you off the bed. 

He leads you to the bathroom, then wraps his arms around you and holds you close while you wait for the shower to heat up. He presses kisses to the top of your head as you rest against his chest, both of you wanting to stay as close to each other as possible; not wanting to be apart for even a second.

When you’re showered; each of you taking turns to help wash the other, you dry off and get back into bed. You relax into each other’s embrace, warm skin to skin as you try not to let the quick approaching sleep envelope you too soon.

“Do you want some water?” Buck is the first to break the silence, and you shake your head, too consumed with the feeling of his chest pressed to your back to even think about one of you getting out of bed.

“I just wanna lay with you.” you tell him in a quiet voice, sighing. He smiles, then presses a kiss to the back of your neck. Who is he to deny you such a sweet request?

“I love you so much, you know that, right?” he asks, his arms tightening instinctively around your waist. You smile, nodding quickly. “Of course I do. And I love you, too. More than anything.” you reply, and he’s sure that if you both weren’t so tired, he’d have you on your back again.

“Good. Because I let you order two desserts and split them even though I only wanted one of them.” he teases with a quiet chuckle. You laugh along with him, rolling your eyes.

“And I’m pretty sure you ended up liking the other one better, anyway.” you tease back, an exhausted smile plastered onto your face. He scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, whatever. You’re always right, aren’t you?” he says, and you can tell from his voice that he’s smiling. You nod, giggling softly.

“It’s about time you admitted it.” you counter. You feel goosebumps on your skin when you feel his lips press to your bare shoulder, and you sigh, your eyes closing once again.

“Go to sleep, I can feel how tired you are.” he whispers in your ear. You hum softly, sighing heavily. You can feel your thoughts become cloudy, and it feels like everything is moving slower as you sink further into his arms.

“Can we do this again next weekend?” you ask in a quiet voice, and although you meant for it to come out in a teasing tone, you’re so tired that it comes out as more of a gentle plea.

“Of course, pretty girl, I promise. Now, go to sleep.” You nod slowly, and not a minute later, you’re asleep. He presses one last featherlight kiss to your bare skin before he closes his own eyes. It doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep either, it never does after he has you, but this time he’s out in record time, and his arm stays firmly draped over your waist the entire night.

notes: likes/comments/reblogs would be much appreciated if you liked this<33

click here for my masterlist!

click here to be added to my taglist!

click here to read my request rules!

taglist: @officiallyalbino @wanniiieeee @dreams-encapsulated-in-glamour @buckandeddiesverison @catkight @tatyhend @emilysuperswag @kulteule @korosevren @nyx3028 @sporadicmakerwerewolf @sherlocksbaby2323 @essienoe @p14th0mps0n @celestixldarling @brooke0297 @zelfanswhenshecan @avengersgirllorianna @bingbongsupremacy @nishinoyahhh @alyssanicole01 @outof-spite @supernatural-bangtanboys @x0xchristine @pear-1206 @swanshells @tpwkstiles @lulubelle14 @cannibalhellhound @odetolocksmiths @rafecameronsloverrrrr @charlie-winchester94 @hollandxxmix @evysian @starbyun92939798 @maxinish @uhmidkmuch @theking-mustdie @daeswash @911varietyposts @superlock-in-the-tardis @lilsquatch7898 @hufflepuff-spidey @starboygf @wnbweasley @damndirtylitch @eva-tts5 @alexxavicry @sammiejane22 (if you interacted with my taglist post and are not on this list, make sure your blog is visible in searches or i can’t tag you!)

[cliosunshine]

𝐎𝐟 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐬

Jason Todd x dragon trainer!reader

Summary: after a portal mysteriously opened in your world, setting all of your dragons loose, you must find a way to take them all back home before it's too late and before you catch feelings for a certain cute guy in a red helmet

Warnings: none; some mild cussing, reader wears glasses and jay's a bit awkward lol

Word count: 3.8k

A/N: first fic ever yay! I was rewatching HTTYD and this idea came to me and who am I to deny the muses of writing

Jason knew this patrol was going to be a tough one.

The usual gloomy Gotham night had a sort of electric tension to it, putting everyone on edge.

As he finished securing the guns on his holsters, a deafening roar made him jump out of his skin.

It was nothing like he had ever heard before: the sound seemed like it came from above his building complex, akin to that of a thousand lions. A loud thump shook the whole building and Jason peeked his head out of the window, watching as people on the streets were running away from flames, screaming in terror.

He sighed warily, grabbing more magazines than usual and hurrying down the fire escape, too preoccupied to reach his bike and go to the Batcave to tell them what the fuck was going on than to look back out of the kitchen window, where a pair of giant eyes was watching him leave his apartment.

As he rounded the corner of his building in a hurry, so close to reaching his bike in the garage, he abruptly stopped as he was face to face - or better yet, face to snout - with the humongous muzzle of a giant lizard.

Or at least that's what he thought it was until the creature opened his mouth and emitted scorching flames too close for his comfort.

Jason backed up, his mind running a hundred miles an hour.

"Hey there, buddy..." He tried to coax the thing, whowas eyeing him with a blood-lust gaze.

Jason gulped, not too sure about his helmet's fire resistance anymore.

The thing was at least 10 feet tall and just as big, if not more. The scales on its body reflected the streetlamp light, giving it a more menacing look and steam seemed to come out of every pore on its body.

As both of them kept looking at each other, none of them relenting, Jason swiftly pulled out his gun, aiming it at the creature just as quickly.

Frightened by the sudden movement, the giant lizard thingy that he didn't want to call a dragon but that looked scarily similar to one, screeched, causing Jason to let go of his gun and clutch at his helmet in pain, the noise unbearable.

The dragon -yes, he was going to call it that- stumbled again and zeroed in his fire breath directly on his garage door, melting the metal panel.

"Shit!" Jason took several steps back to shield himself from the heat.

The dragon kept at it for several seconds, but all the damage was already done. As it took one final look around, it flew away, its huge wings taking out the flames.

Jason stood there in silence, the chaos of the outside world drowning out all of his thoughts as he stared at his bike, just the two silver handles barely visible in the otherwise pile of melted metal and burnt leather.

His chest heaved uncontrollably, just know realizing what he saw.

Suddenly, his comms activated, the shrill of Dick's screaming making him frown in irritation.

"Everybody, we've got dragons in Gotham!"

"No shit, Dickhead," Jason deadpanned, still looking at what remained of his bike.

"Oracle, I need a ride to the Batcave. Now."

You had spent the whole day tending to your dragon, Obsidian, as he had quickly gotten bored of his play buddies that he usually hung out by the lake with and had decided to bother you while you were studying.

"You big baby," you cooed at him, scratching his chin with your left your hand as you continued typing on your laptop, one paragraph of your final essay almost finished.

After completing your bachelor degree, you had decided to open a dragon sanctuary with your best friend from college after seeing so many of them getting mistreated and abused.

In the area where you lived, dragons were sadly thought as being more of a nuisance than loyal companions, thus leading everyone to think that they weren’t worthy of love and shelter.

The first dragon you had ever rescued was Obsidian, discovering him near your local park after a morning jog.

His little paws were sticking out of the half-burned box he was laying in and you couldn't resist his big amber eyes staring at you, so you took him home, much to your parents' chagrin.

Now here you were, nearly two years later and almost finishing your thesis with a huge, sassy dragon resting his head on your lap and demanding scritches behind his horns.

"You're so cute, Obi," you smiled down at him.

The dragon responded by gently nuzzling his head further into your lap, a low purring rumbling through your whole body.

"So cute, such a cutesy, lovely-" your cooing was cut short by a large swooshing sound and screeches coming from the lake.

You furrowed your brows as you felt the way Obsidian's body tensed up and started growling at the direction the noise came from.

You set your laptop aside as you made your way towards the lake, your dragon hot on your tail, his black scales reflecting the moonlight.

"What the hell's going on?", you muttered to yourself as you reached the premises.

Your eyes widened as you saw all the dragons of your sanctuary lose their minds, their wings flapping erratically as they screeched in fright.

Slowing approaching the flock, you noticed how they were huddled around a sparkle of some sort.

You took your utility belt and your trustworthy lasso from the nearby hut in case something came out to harm you.

The sparkle was emitting blue light and it kept keeping bigger and bigger, opening up like some sort of portal, and as it grew in size, the dragons freaked out more and more, to the point where you had trouble controlling Obsidian as well.

"Easy now, easy, Obi," you tried to reassure him. Your bond with him was extremely solid and transcended everything you had felt before, so you could calm him down enough for him to still listen to you, but it was too late for the rest of them.

Now too far gone, they became skittish and as the both of you approached them, they ran through the portal, one by one.

You ran after them, swiftly getting on Obi's back as you saw the portal getting smaller again.

"Shit, Obi, run faster!"

As you shouted at him, you felt his wings sprawling out and you took flight, passing through the portal.

You looked around as you took in your new surroundings, but you quickly had to clutch your nose at the pungent reek of smog and overall dirt that seemed to cling to the city below you.

You furrowed your brows in disdain as you saw skyscraper after skyscraper, not a single ounce of green in sight.

It all was so different from your home, but you quickly had to regain your composure as you saw your dragons already wreaking havoc through the city, squishing cars under their weight and setting things on fire.

"Obi, fly low," you instructed him.

He grunted in acknowledgement as he slowly lowered himself from his previous stance and you instructed him to land on a rooftop.

Getting off, you took a once over at Obsidian, checking for anything out of the ordinary that might have happened as he flew through the portal.

Reassured that he was all set, you released a breath you didn't know you were holding.

Everything here seemed so...strange.

It was as if a bolt of lightning had struck the city and you could feel the static that was left in its wake.

Where were you anyway?

You didn’t have much time to ponder on the question as you saw one of your wind dragons, Helix, making his way towards the outskirts of the city, gusts of wind quickly encircling him as he flew away. The white dragon couldn’t have been too far away from you, so you decided to follow him in attempt to lasso him back and tranquilise him. You hated carrying the tranquiliser gun, but you knew that it was better to be safe than sorry when dealing with these giant creatures.

As you hopped back onto Obsidian’s back, a light caught your eye.

It was being shone from a near-by building, and it represented a…bat?

You contemplated on the image a bit, but then got pulled back to reality by you dragon suddenly taking flight.

You yelped as you reached for his horns, trying to hold onto them, completely caught by surprise.

“Whoa, Obi, what has gotten into you?” you screamed at the dragon, who huffed in response, tailgating Helix.

You held tightly to your dragon’s back, the absence of a saddle not bothering you, as that’s how you first learned to ride.

You quickly approached Helix, the white dragon’s movements erratic and confusing you.

As you got closer to him, you let go of Obi’s horns and unravelled your lasso, positioning yourself upright, ready to catch one of his legs or, more hopefully, one of his wings.

The pursuit lasted several minutes and you couldn’t get a clear opening.

Just as you thought you had a car view of his hind legs, Obi suddenly stopped and remained still, his black wings still flapping to keep the both of you in the air.

You were about to question him but the words died in your throat as you saw that Helix was headed straight to what seemed like a manor’s rooftop.

Your eyes widened in shock, but you knew you couldn’t do much and just looked with your mouth agape as he made full contact with the building, the great force of the collision seemingly rattling the manor.

Meanwhile, Jason and the others were in the Batcave, contemplating what to do.

“You know,” chimed Damian, “if these dragons are anything like Goliath, we’ve got nothing to worry about,” he said as he looked up at his pet dragon, who was lazily lounging next to him.

Both Dick and Jason deadpanned at that.

Dick was the first to speak up, his arms moving all over the place, “Have you seen them?” he asked, incredulous at his little brother’s words, “they’re freaking huge, much bigger than Goliath and much, much scarier,”

“One of them set my bike on fire.” Was all that Jason said, his arms crossed in irritation, wanting to get rid of them already.

Stephanie wheezed, holding her stomach as she doubles over in laughter, “Is that why you asked Barbara for the Batmobile to be brought to you?”

All she received was a dirty look.

“If that’s of any consolation, another one of them almost stomped me to death,” added Tim, shivering at the memory of almost becoming a human patty mere minutes ago.

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a contemplative sigh as he thought on what to do next.

Before he got a change to open his mouth, a loud crash with a following roaring sound shook the Batcave and the manor, making everyone brace themselves onto the console so they wouldn’t fall.

Jason locked eyes with Cass as he shouted a “what the fuck is going on?”, voicing everyone’s thoughts.

Bruce put on his cowl and gestured for them all to follow him, not waiting for them as they all put on their domino masks and helmets and got out of the cave as well.

“I hope to God that wasn’t a fucking dragon crashing right into the manor because if it is-”

Dick’s threat fell on deaf ears as they all reached the left wing of the building and saw a huge white dragon trying to wiggle out of his spot on the rooftop, as it had completely caved it in when it crashed.

All they could do was watch in horror as the creature seemed to flap its wings trying to escape, sending bricks and debris flying everywhere.

They all swiftly dodged the moving objects, when all of a sudden, a person’s screaming voice pierced through the chaos.

Jason looked to the left right of the manor and could hardly make out the silhouette of another dragon, this time pitch-black, who had…a person on its back??

He had to do a double take to confirm that what he saw wasn’t something his mind was conjuring up: on the dragon’s back there was a woman with a lasso in her hands, yelling something at the white dragon who continued to thrash on – or should he say in – the manor’s roof.

Her yelling stopped as she spotted them on the ground, all of Gotham’s vigilantes staring with a mixture of confused and awe-struck expressions on their faces as she told something to the black dragon she was on and quickly landed on the manor’s grounds, the dimensions of the creature really showing when its horns brushed against the top branches of one of the oak trees planted by the entrance.

“Fucking hell…” was all that Jason could mutter as he took in the creature’s large body, covered in black scales that reflected the garden lights in hues of metallic blue and purple. Its spiked tail swishing back and forth as it started down at the group with its beady amber eyes, almost as if it was challenging them to try and come closer to you, now standing in front of it.

You held a hand to his snout and whispered something to the lines of “calm down, bub, I’m just going to talk to them”, and the dragon visibly relaxed but still kept a guarded stance.

You hesitantly approached Jason and the others, who were all sizing you up to determine if you were a possible threat or not, but upon reading your relaxed and submissive body language their shoulders slightly sagged.

You walked until you were a few meters from them, then stopped and pointed back at the creature on the manor’s roof with your thumb.

“My dragon’s on your roof,” you said with a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of your head.

No shit, Jason thought, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth nonetheless.

He was admiring the way you purposely carried yourself with a calm and composed, albeit quite awkward, demeanour, having probably realized that dragons weren’t an everyday sighting here.

Your eyes sparkled behind your glasses as you latched your lasso back onto your utility belt. Jason noticed how you were wearing civilian clothes, quite similar to the ones you could find in most stores here in Gotham, so he wondered how on earth did you look like some sort of dragon-cowboy back there, up in the air, with the lasso hovering over your head as you swung it with expertise.

Bruce was the first one to talk, taking a few steps towards you. You widened your eyes in surprise, not having noticed the black-clad man until now. A shiver run down your spine as you saw the menacing cowl he was wearing.

“Who are you and why are you here.”

You released a shaky breath as you started talking, feeling everyone’s eyes on you.

“Listen, I don’t know where I am but I was just minding my own business when all of a sudden, a portal bigger than my house opened up in my backyard and that may have heavily triggered my dragons and they kinda went through it and are now here and I know they are wreaking havoc and are overall being so naughty I’m so sorry-” you said all in one breath, your apologetic nature getting the best of you as you pleaded them not to hurt them.

Dick held his arm up, shutting you up, “They’re yours?” He said, an incredulous look clearly shown on his face despite his domino mask covering his eyes.

You nodded as if that were the most normal thing ever, giving him a strange look.

“Uh, yeah?” You said, looking back at Obsidian, pointing at him, “Well, he’s technically mine, but the others are, too, since I’ve rescued them and they’re now staying at my sanctuary-” you got interrupted again, this time by Damian, who received a concerned gaze from you, shocked to see a kid.

“You have a sanctuary for dragons?” He asked, trying to sound nonchalant but feeling very excited to have someone to talk about dragons to.

You smiled in excitement, your sudden change in body language not going unnoticed by Jason as he kept quiet, memorizing your every feature.

God she’s pretty.

Jason caught Cass’ gaze and felt himself blush as she gave him a knowing look, having clearly read his body language as well.

He was so grateful to have his helmet on at that moment.

Your laugh pulled him out of his thoughts and he caught you answer to one of Bruce’s questions.

“-yeah, so I don’t know where it exactly was, I only was some skyscrapers after I passed through it,” you quickly explained.

Bruce nodded in contemplation, lowering his gaze to the ground, before your next question made him snap his stern eyes back at you.

“So, what’s up with the costumes and the masks?” You asked, slightly confused at the funny looking people in front of you. Maybe they were having some sort of party?

“You don’t know who we are?” Asked Stephanie in slight surprise.

You chuckled, looking at her, “Should I?”

“Duh, we’re Gotham’s best – and only – vigilantes!”

“What’s a…vigilante?”

Uh?

“UH?”

Everybody’s incredulous gaze snapped to you and sensing your discomfort, Obsidian growled in warning at the group, still not getting too close to them per your command.

“Easy, Obi,” you reassured your dragon, smiling to comfort him. He huffed and turned his head to look at Helix, who had since stopped struggling and was looking at you curiously from his place on the manor’s roof.

“Uhm, so…” you continued, staring back at the group, “where I come from, we don’t have vigilantes…so, care to explain what you guys do, exactly?”

Jason huffed a laugh at Dick’s defeated expression, his pride noticeably shrinking by the second as you stared at him as he were a lunatic.

“We fight crime,” he said, turning your attention to him. He noticed your perplexed gaze, probably caused by the helmet he was wearing, “but we do it in suits and masks to conceal our identity since, you know, we have day jobs and carry normal lives during the day.”

You mouth opened in realization, bashful for having mistaken them for randos but also relieved to have struck conversation with people who might be able to help you.

“So, you’re like dragon protectors!” you said in awe, “they basically do the same stuff you guys say you do, but while riding dragons so they can cover more land.”

“Wait that’s actually so cool-”

“I know, they’re the coolest people where I come from!!”

“Wait, where do you come from?”

You furrowed your brows, thinking of an answer that will probably help them understand your world better.

“Earth.”

“What do you mean Earth, this is Earth”, said another one of the vigilantes, a quite lanky one with black bangs falling on his eyes.

You shrugged in response.

“We call it Earth, so I don’t know what to tell you, really”

“Well, then, we must figure out where the signal of the portal came from so we can understand if it was opened from your Earth or ours, and then we’ll help you bring the dragons back-” Bruce’s plan was interrupted by Helix’s roar, this time in desperation as he wanted to be freed by the bricks that were digging into his scaled body.

You signed, turning back to them with an apologetic smile, “I’ll get that.”

“Do you want us to help?”

You shook your head, thanking them, apologizing for the dragon-sized damage.

Bruce dismissed you with his hand, telling you not to worry about it.

As you walked back towards Obsidian, he turned back to the others, his tight-lipped expression evaluating the possible outcomes this situation could bring upon Gotham.

“So, what do we think?” said Tim, his gaze not leaving your figure as you hopped onto your dragon’s back.

“She’s nice, I like her.”

“We’re not talking about that. We need to know if we can trust her not to use the dragons to turn the city to literal ashes,” said Damian, receiving a groan in response by Stephanie.

“You’re awfully quiet, Todd,” Dick jabbed his little brother with his elbow, earning a stomp on his foot.

“What do you want me to say?” he responded, truly at a loss of words, “I mean, dragons? In Gotham?”

“What about Goliath, then?”

“Well, he isn’t from here as well, you know,”

“I should show her him! Maybe she could tell us why he’s been itching like crazy for the last few weeks-”

The banter stopped as Tim’s “Guys, look!” made everyone turn back around and watch with wide eyes at the scene before them.

You were now a good 15 feet from the ground, the wings of your dragon flapping steadily as you got up to your feet, positioning your body sideways to stabilize your core.

You took the lasso into your hands and started rotating it in a circular motion at the white dragon in front od you, who had begun to wriggle again out of fear of staying stuck there, his frightened gaze unable to clearly see you.

It was safe to say he’d never been the sharpest dragon amongst your flock.

Jason stared in awe as you swinged the rope one last time before flinging it at the dragon, catching him by one of his crooked horns. You secured your hold on it, tightening the rope quickly and then putting it in Obsidian’s mouth, who pulled once, twice, and at the third time successfully released his friend, setting him down onto the ground with a loud thump that shook the trees and bushes surrounding the premises of the manor.

You quickly got off of your dragon’s back and with some sort of weapon in hand, made your way towards the creature. Jason furrowed his brows in confusion at your “I’m so sorry buddy”, thinking the worst when you aimed the gun at his throat, but taking a breath in relief when he saw it was a dart gun.

The dart now jabbed in Helix’s throat had a quick effect on his, as he slumped over, his chin squishing a finely shaped topiary, turning the squirrel-shaped bush into a sad blob of leaves.

You smiled to yourself and petted Obsidian’s snout, praising him for a job well done.

Turning back to the group, you shouted happily, waving your arms to attract their attention but stopping mid air as you saw them all already staring at you.

“Can he stay here for a while?”

[ghost-bxrd]

“Ghost” Selkie wip 🦭👻

[bacchuschucklefuck]

we let the ocean drown out our voices/enjoying the bitterness/in the chaotic light, I close my eyes and see

[kyouka-supremacy]

Well.

[florbelles]

finished hera & started lady macbeth and we have got to start blaming women for shit again for real

[theflyingfeeling]

💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖

Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝

The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️

For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3

.

PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!

~

Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o’clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia. 

Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).

Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)

The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.

Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.

You awake?

Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.

He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him. 

“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.

“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”

“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him. 

Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.

“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”

A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.

“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.

“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.

“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”

Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.

“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”

“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.

“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”

Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet. 

“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.

“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”

“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.

The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.

“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.

He had to steel himself for his next question.

“What do you mean?”

“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it’ for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself. 

A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.

“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’

“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.

“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”

Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.

“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”

“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”

Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.

“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”

“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”

Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)

“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”

Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.

“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”

That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.

“Probably not half as much as I did.”

Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.

If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.

It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.

Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇

Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.

yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤

From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.

[non-un-topo]

This is your permission to take advantage of some ridiculously harsh sunlight for the specific purpose of posting low-quality cringe

[aluminumoxideaddict]

Some previews of art I’ve been working on during the last nine months or so, just to break my unintended hiatus and to show I’m still alive. 

I’m hoping to revamp this blog a bit and update a bunch of my old art during May and June... if life doesn’t get in the way, that is. 

[tsuki-in-faerun]

Photosynthesis

(idk if i'm gonna link to ao3 anymore)

fairly sfw. inspired by 'reader who loves to cook' headcanons written by @avocado-writing. gnc tav, tav is not physically described. astarion/tav, w/mentions of astarion/tav/karlach.

trigger warning for descriptions of food and talk about deprivation.

You and Astarion have settled down under a pocket quilt you pieced together from the most intact bits of cloth you’ve found along your travels. It’s stuffed with cattail fluff, what you glean from Scratch and the owlbear shedding, fur and down from various game. He hunted supper tonight. Cleared a warren of rabbits and donated their carcasses to the stewpot. His belly is actually sloshing a bit as he settles in next to you.

Astarion had physically kept his distance somewhat while he tried to figure out how to fit himself into your partnership with Karlach. She was still untouchable and you occupied your bedroll alone, but the companionship and intimacy you shared was palpable to everyone in camp. Beyond the initial discussion between the three of you, Astarion had not responded much to questions about his feelings nor showed you much affection. He still preferred to feed while you were resting and he still preferred a sardonic tone when addressing you.

But he had started bringing meat from his hunts back to camp. Healthy game worth eating was much more scarce in the Shadowlands and his ability to wander while your living companions were busy taking care of other needs meant that his contributions to your larder became that much more important. Once or twice, you felt his eyes on you as you ate the evening meal. You would smile at him in gratitude and toast him with whatever was in your dish. When Astarion came walking up to the makeshift kitchen table bearing his brace of rabbits, you whistled.

“Ooooh, you do know how to spoil a body,” you said playfully. “I hope the flavor doesn’t get too repetitive. I’ll probably taste of rabbit stew later. Gale, will you please wash these greens while I dress the meat?”

“Yes, saer,” Gale called from his little station. “Just let me finish pulverizing the spices. It’s actually quite good for exorcizing frustrations.”

“Pent up are we?” Astarion teased.

“Exceedingly.” Gale answered without hesitation. “I’m holding a number of things very closely to my chest. Keeping a tight rein on every single vagary of emotion or desire lest I literally explode has not been an easy habit to drop now the orb is contained.”

You squeezed his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile. “Best get it all out then. We’ll benefit from a happier Gale and a more flavorful stew.”

His eyes softened as he returned your smile with one of his own.

You had set up the rabbits on a branch nearby and started skinning the first one.

“Astarion,” you asked, “can you actually taste what I’ve eaten when you feed from me?”

He laughed a little. “You do taste different now that we’ve built a stock of better quality provisions, but I don’t believe I’ve noticed much variation from night to night, darling. It’s more like tasting the essence of a person, I believe.”

You finished cleaning the guts out of the first rabbit and looked at him curiously. “Fascinating. In species who nurse their young, the babies will often react when their parents eat strong flavors. There’s a healer’s theory that all bodily fluids are made from the blood, so I wondered if the flavors in food were passed on via that route. You’re probably one of the few creatures I could ask to see if there’s a correlation.”

Gale visibly perked up. “Oh ho ho! This companionship certainly does present us with some exhilarating research opportunities, I must say!”

Astarion scowled. “Must you? It takes some of the fun out of the blood lust when I know I’m under observation. Just listen when it comes up as part of my sparkling conversation.”

“You made a verse, beloved.” You chuckled. He turned to see you making quick work of the game and the scowl fell from his features.

“I did, at that,” he purred. “My, you are handy with that knife.”

Your eyebrows shot up. You became aware of the cooling blood on your hands and wrists. Astarion looked you up and down and flashed you a grin with his fangs out.

Gale heaved a sigh and went back to crushing spices with a renewed vigor.

“I have to get these rabbits ready to roast and then salt the pelts.” You said with a silly smile on your face. “After that I have a free hour.”

Almost more quickly than you could follow, Astarion moved into your personal space as close as he could without actually pressing his body against yours. He picked up one of your bloody hands and kissed your fingers, eyelids drooping as he inhaled deeply.

“Mmm. I shall be by the fire warming up.” He said quietly. “You can ask me any number of questions in private, if you can stay focused on the topic.”

He snaked his tongue into the crease between your fingers and lapped at the blood there. You felt the heat rising in your chest and cheeks, and let your eyes drift closed for a moment, savoring.

“Questions about what?” You asked, voice husky.

“That’s the spirit, darling.”

“Are you still hungry for my blood after draining all those rabbits?” You ask Astarion once you’re squirreled away under your quilt together.

“I’m always hungry,” Astarion murmurs against your neck, lips brushing your skin just enough to cause you to shiver.

“Truly?” You say as you pull away from his grasp. “Even away from the Loveless One’s thrall, you haven’t been able to drink your fill?”

He sighs, reaching for your waist to draw you to him again. “I don’t know exactly how it works. You’re wasting your hour.” A wafting scent drifts up to his nose and he pauses. “Darling, why have you got a handful of herbs?”

You blush. Your free hand plays with the collar of his shirt. “I - well. It seems a little absurd now, but I was wondering if there might be a way to share with you how our supper tastes. If you were up for a little experimentation. But perhaps I should concern myself more with making sure you get enough to eat in the first place?”

Astarion wears a look of detached amusement. “We have got Withers at our disposal if you’d like me to drain you dry. However, I’d rather not have the entire camp at my throat for doing so. Especially Karlach. What kind of absurd experimentation did you have in mind?” A wicked grin spreads across his face. “Does it end with you flooding my mouth, gorgeous?”

You bite your lip a little. “You are marvelously skilled at distracting me, beloved. If you’d rather I stop poking at something painful, I can respect that. Can you forgive me my concern? I do care about you.”

He rolls his eyes and sighs loudly this time, flopping onto his back. “I - that’s not something to apologize for. Why do you have to be so… nice? It makes me want to be nice back. I do not appreciate it.” He groans like someone long-suffering. “What do you want to do with your little leaves, hmm?”

His gaze softens when your face lights up. “Are you sure?” You ask. He nods. “Thank you for indulging me, love.”

He shakes his head, seemingly at himself. “I have a feeling this won’t be the last time.”

“Perhaps,” you smile. “However, I’m sure there will be plenty of opportunities for me to reciprocate.”

“Technically, you’ve been indulging me since that first night you let me bite you,” he drawls. “But don’t expect me to bring it up much.”

Your smile drops and you take one of his hands. “Astarion, your well-being is not an indulgence. No matter what yours and my relationship is, you deserve to be fed and happy.”

His face is hard to read. You stroke his hand with your thumb and wait. “I know you believe that, darling.” He says after a spell. “Come on, Subject A is ready to be briefed on your hypothesis.”

You laugh and show him your handful of herbs. “Well! So much of how the living perceive taste is in the aroma of the foods we eat, I was thinking that perhaps we might be able to approximate the experience of eating supper with the group if I scented my skin with the herbs we use for the meal.”

He stares at you. “You want to rub leaves on your neck before I bite it?”

You squint and purse your lips. “Kiiiind of.” You sit up and spread the herbs out on the quilt. “There are different substances which carry scent in different plants so I think we will have the greatest chance of success if we try a few different methods and locations on my body. This rosemary is resinous and could be rubbed directly on my skin to impart its aroma.” You pick up a small section of lemon peel. “The aroma of citrus is carried in its oils, so I could just twist this over my skin to scent it.” Next you point to a parsley leaf. “Now the smell of something like parsley is aqueous, so I’d probably have to crush it and express the juices onto my skin for you to get a good whiff. What do you think?”

Astarion looks mildly impressed. “I think you’ve been very thorough. You want me to bite you three times tonight?”

You shrug. “Well, I’m not relishing the prospect of so many puncture wounds but I can heal them once I get some supper in my belly.”

He tugs you back down to lie next to him. “Then I’m game if you are, sweetheart.”

You blush again, a little flustered. “Sweetheart?”

“Why not? It fits.”

“I thought you preferred more savory offerings.”

“I’m developing a taste for you, whatever my preferences were before.” He leans in for a kiss. The first real affection you have shared together, not simply the promise of sex or food. Just a brief press of his lips, lingering slightly before he pulls away again.

“Oh!” You sigh, bringing your fingers to touch your mouth in an unconscious gesture. You look deeply into his eyes but are unable to discern the emotions there.

“Come on, stay focused, darling,” Astarion teases. “Where am I biting you first?”

You blink and try to clear your head. “Ummmm, the - the results might be more clear if we pick spots that are a bit farther away from each other. Let’s try the rosemary on one side of my neck, then the parsley on the other. How about my wrist for the citrus peel?”

“Sounds eminently reasonable,” he says smoothly. “How unfortunate. I must lavish some more of my seductive skills on you once I’m buried in your flesh.”

You can feel your eyes turn as big as saucers. He laughs, low and throaty. “You know, I thought you were oblivious to my charms when you fell so quickly for Karlach. Perhaps I was just taking the wrong tactic.”

That brings you back to yourself a little. “You asked once me if I wanted to lose myself in you when I wanted to be present with you. It just didn’t feel like we were on the same page.”

“Hm.” He raises one eyebrow, lifts his chin. “And you feel like we’re on common ground now?”

You reach over and tuck a curl behind his ear. Smile softly. “We’re getting somewhere. I’m not foolish enough to believe there’s an easy way into your heart, if that’s even what you want. But I will do my best to honor how far we’ve come, no matter where we end up.”

A beat.

Astarion’s eyes go to your mouth before he kisses you. Talk about presence. He had sat by the fire so his lips would be warm for you. You sigh with happiness and enfold him in your arms, sharing your body heat freely.

“Mmmmmm,” He moans. “I like this flavor.”

When you gasp, he steals your breath with another kiss. And another. His lips part against yours and without thinking, you open to him. He grabs the back of your thigh as leverage to pull you against his body and he hasn’t stopped kissing you. You have to push on him a bit, tap his shoulder so you can come up for air.

You lie panting open-mouthed. Smiling. You let your hands play with his collar again and say, “We have time for my experiment before I have to get back to supper.”

His whole face crinkles up when he laughs, head thrown back. “Wha..? HA! Oh, I suppose I do think such curiosity should be rewarded. Alright, darling. Where do you want to start?”

You have to feel around blind for the herbs on top of your quilt, giggling breathlessly while Astarion indulges his oral fixation all over your throat. When you finally grab the plants, you wave them in front of his face, triumphant.

“Ahahaha!” You crow. “I will not be denied!”

“Neither will I,” He rasps, choosing to spend this remaining time kissing you senseless.

Once again, it’s only when you start to feel a greater desire for air than for Astarion that he chooses to let you go.

“…perhaps…” you say between gulping breaths. “Perhaps if I put the herbs upon my lips?”

You’ve never seen him laugh this hard. A silly high-pitched giggle gives way to hearty belly laughs that have his whole body rocking. A watery red tear escapes the corner of one eye.

You can’t help but laugh, too. You both reach for each other in your mirth, sharing little touches and pressing your foreheads together.

“Oh! Hahahaha! Hooooo! Haahaha. Ohhhhhhhh. Oh, fuck me.” Astarion swears, beginning to wind down. When he can open his eyes again, he finds you looking into them. He appears merry, but then the briefest expression of pure panic twists his features. You reach for him again in concern and he deflects by clearing his throat, unable to meet your gaze.

“I do rely on your patience.” He says after a time, patting your thigh.

“That’s not exactly fair to me, beloved,” you tell him softly. “But I understand. Just… please don’t fake it. If you love me, don’t fake like you don’t. If you do not love me, don’t pretend like you do.”

He’s angry now. “You don’t know what you’re asking of me.”

You do your best not to match his tone, but you are heated when you tell him, “You’re right. I have no idea what it would take for you to get to that place of honesty. But I do know how I’m willing to be treated, Astarion. My love and support has never been contingent on a romantic relationship between us. You sought me out.”

He sputters indignantly as you get to your feet. “You might consider what has been asked of me along this journey, beloved,” You say fiercely as you brush yourself off. “And just how many others are relying on me to follow my best instincts. In fact, I shall leave you to it.”

You walk away and take a second at the edge of the circle of firelight to breathe deeply and regain your equilibrium. Your other companions are keeping themselves busy and take no notice of you as you begin to dig up the pits where the rabbits have been roasting among coals. Wyll and Gale come over to help when they do notice, scraping out the grains and pine nuts that had been stuffed in the carcasses and shredding the meat. Half the meat goes in the stewpot along with most of the bones and half goes in a bowl with greens and a wine-based dressing.

You give Scratch the rest of the roasted bones and the offal that didn’t go in the stew while Gale sets up the cup board. The owlbear cub gets a whole rabbit with the pelt on.

Arabella runs up to you after having spent the day learning about the Weave with Withers. A green glow is just now fading from her eyes as she chatters to you about her lessons and peppers you with questions about druidic magic. You tell her to call in the rest of the camp for the evening meal and she takes off running and shouting with Scratch bounding behind.

Karlach comes to chat with you while your company gathers around the ware board to serve themselves and you feel your heart ease just being near her. She, Lae’zel, and Arabella join you when you sit down to your meal. The owlbear cub curls up around your feet. You bask in the coziness afforded by this moment. You’ve just planted a kiss on top of Arabella’s head when you look up and see Astarion.

He’s frowning. Not at you, more in a general, arch sort of way that reminds you of his demeanor when you first met. You nod and he returns it, but he wanders over to Shadowheart and Halsin by the fire instead of coming to join you.

“What were you and Fangs laughing about earlier? It echoed around the whole camp.” Karlach inquires. “I didn’t know he was into… joy.”

You snort into your cup. Wiping a dribble from the corner of your mouth, you sigh, “Oh, I was just pestering him to let me try a cheeky experiment with some culinary herbs. He found the whole thing ridiculous and that was just more incentive for me to pursue it.”

She laughs, too. “You and Gale, man! You keep putting curiosity over common sense and I love it.”

You gasp in faux indignation. “Pardon me? Are you saying I have been… unwise???”

Karlach cracks up. Lae’zel instantly answers, “Yes,” without even looking up from her plate, which only makes Karlach laugh harder.

Arabella is trying to hide her giggles and you wiggle your fingers at her before you attack her ribs with tickles. “How’s this for unwise?” You shout. “I’m antagonizing a DANGEROUS tiefling spellcaster!” The girl shrieks with laughter and half-heartedly fights you off while Scratch tries to get in between you, whacking both of you with his wagging tail. It’s only when he manages to snatch a mouthful of your roasted grains that you stop and haul him away from where people are eating.

You and Scratch are sat snout-to-snout discussing two-legger table manners when Astarion approaches you. You ruffle the fur around Scratch’s collar and wait. The dog noses your cheek and whines. The man sinks to the ground in a cross-legged seat, a little glum. He opens his mouth, shuts it, and sighs, scratching the back of his head. You don’t push him, but you don’t fill the silence for him, either.

“How…” Astarion looks like he’s losing steam before he even begins. “How was supper?” He finishes dispiritedly.

“Really delicious. Thank you for your contribution.” You tell him. He grunts an acknowledgement.

More waiting.

Even Scratch looks concerned.

“I don’t… want to lose you.” Astarion finally says.

“Which part?” You ask.

He meets your eyes. “Your h-heart. Your laughter. Your warmth.”

A little smile crosses your face before you get serious again. “Are you still hungry?” You ask him. A look you’ve seen a thousand times on thousands of faces in the Lower City tells you the answer is “yes.”

“Does it pain you?” He gives the slightest of nods. You suspect that if it were a lesser pain, he would announce it loudly and as often as he felt he could garner sympathy.

“I wish we were free.” You tell him. You rub the back of your neck and draw your knees up to your chest. Tears prickle your eyelids. “All of us.”

Astarion lets out an explosive breath and hangs his head for a moment. “Sweetheart… it hurts too much to hope.”

You nod in understanding, taking his hand and kissing it. There is fear in his eyes but he lets you see it. He sits with it, and with you, squeezing your hand.

Scratch’s tail thumps the ground as he wags.

“I care about you, too.” Astarion says.

“Beloved…” you murmur. “Can I kiss you?”

“Can you?” He asks, amusement lending him some bravado. “Yes, I suppose you can.” He pulls you to him. When your lips touch and he is already warm as life, you recall him choosing a seat by the fire at the meal. Then you let go of all thought as Astarion devotes himself to kissing you thoroughly. He kisses you so thoroughly that you actually feel deprived when he gives you a break to breathe.

You’re reaching for him again when he holds up his hands. “Darling! I came prepared.”

He reaches into his belt pouch to pull out a sprig of rosemary, leaning in close as he brushes it against your parted lips.

Your smile genuinely dazzles him. Astarion has the look of a deer surprised by torchlight at night. You pluck the rosemary from his fingers and trace it down the curve of his cheek.

“Plant lore tells us that rosemary can aid one in committing events to memory.” You say softly. The longing in his stare leaves you just as breathless as his kisses.

Astarion turns his head and inhales deeply of the herb before wrapping his arms around you and holding you tightly. You gently press your lips to his face, run your fingers through his hair, as he releases a shuddering breath. He moans when he finds your mouth, then his weight is bearing you down into the dirt. The rosemary falls from your grasp and gets crushed beneath your body. The scent of it is thick in the air.

“Now.” You whisper at the earliest opportunity in which your mouth is free. “Drink. Please…”

He’s practically vibrating with need. The impact of his bite shocks you, almost knocks the wind out of you. But you’re so happy in this moment that all you can perceive is how expansive it feels to have your love flow into him. To have it nourish him.

Astarion’s grip becomes more tender and the pull from his mouth less intense. You feel your ability to focus begin to fray right before he lets you go.

He’s nuzzling your face with his own, stroking your body everywhere he can reach. You share a tired, giddy laugh.

“See?” You slur your words a little from exhaustion. “You feed me, I feed you. And then there’s more to go around for everybody!”

“Hush,” he whispers, drawing you into slow and sultry kiss.

“But yes. I’m starting to see.”

[keeps-ache]

thinking of fairies that look like ferret + mourning doves. uh huh yep :>

[muncaster]

do i tell my grandma that back in the day i wrote jonnor fanfiction on fanfiction dot net

[izzy-b-hands]

So much of typing in particular as I get older is just shouting at myself 'USE THE FONT EVEN IF IT'S NOT YOUR FAVE. SET THE SIZE TO 12 OR MORE EVEN IF YOU THINK IT LOOKS CRAP/MAKES THE DRAFT SEEM TOO LENGTHY. YOUR EYES CAN'T DO IT LIKE THEY COULD BEFORE; WHY ARE YOU INTENTIONALLY MAKING THIS HARDER FOR YOURSELF?'

and I don't even have a good answer for that lmao

[thebuttsmcgee]

so. um. 👉👈

hi guysies.

Ig I should just say like. Hi

I haven't been posting here as much cause. Idk. Might be depression? I keep thinking its cause I've been so busy, which also wouldn't be not untrue, but these past, like, 3 weeks I think so far? I've had some free time but I haven't cause. I dunno, then again, I haven't been doing too much in general? I gues, besides very mandatory things, hell I've even been lacking in my regular skyrim hours of playing.

That, and as said, I get super melancholic when I remember just how sad and bittersweet it is that t0h is. Actually legit over. The show and experience, that is.

Oh all that and also becuz my headphones broke! Fuck! That's like number 2 in my bare necessities for when I post, do almost anything really! It's seriously been painful this past month going without headphones holy shit. Dude I've been scratching at the bit for some relief for headphones, I NEED music legitimately. Even right now, as I'm typing this on my phone, my music is on low levels.

But yerp. Its been. Rough. Really rough. I really do appreciate yall, everyone of yall. Have a sweet week everyone, ✌️!

[foone]

I see a lot of people joking about the adhd thing of "I have a appointment/phone call at 3pm, guess I won't do anything all day!"

But no one seems to make the connection that it's a time blindness thing. One of the symptoms of ADHD is not having a good and accurate sense of time. And not doing stuff prior to an event with a hard deadline is an obvious coping mechanism for that.

Can I go to the store? It's 10am and the appointment is at 3pm. How long does going to the store take? An hour? Three hours? Five hours? I DON'T KNOW!

I get anxious trying to do things before appointments because I'm aware that I don't know how long those things take, and that if I think I do, I may be very wrong. Too often I've been like "hey I can walk to the corner store and grab a drink, that'll take like 15 minutes!" and then an hour later I get back and whoops my rice has burnt.

Plus there's also the fact that ADHD people know that motivation and focus is a two-edged sword.

Like, let's say you decide to play a video game. You've got time, you can pause/save whenever, so this should be a perfect fit to make good use of your waiting-time. So you start playing and WHOOPS you get really focused for some reason today (because people with ADHD do not get to pick when their brain decides to focus) and the next time you look at the clock it's 2:49 and you haven't showered or dressed and the appointment is 30 minutes away. Fuck. (you could have set an alarm, but now you're asking people with the forgetting-things-and-time-ignoring condition to remember it set alarms)

And with motivation, it can be almost worse. Instead of playing a game, you so something useful or creative. You clean your room or fix your plumbing or write a story or draw a picture. And suddenly it's great. Your brain is firing on all cylinders. You've got all the motivation you can ask for, and you are FLYING. the ideas are brilliant, your hands are nimble, you're getting stuff done you've been putting off for weeks or months. And then the alarm goes off. Time to go to your appointment. Fuck.

You drive there, your brain still full of ideas and plans. But by the time you get back, the motivation is gone. You may still have the ideas but you don't have the drive to write them down. You can't force yourself to do it. Your sink is still in pieces. Your room is half-cleaned, and you have to shove all the sorted clothes into one big bin just so you have somewhere to sleep. You've left things half finished again, in a cycle that has been repeating your whole fucking life. It seems sometimes that nothing ever gets finished.

So next time you don't even start. There's not time. You've been burnt too many times. Why add another half-completed project to your pile of shame?

My point is that people seem to be going "lol I can't do anything all day if I have an appointment at 3pm" like this is a quirky "oh I'm so scatterbrained!" weirdness they alone have, and not a major complication of a disabling mental illness.

(and that's not even getting into the secondary effects. If you know that having an appointment ruins your whole damn day, you're going to avoid them. Even when it's things like "going to that party" or "meeting your friends for a drink/game" or "going to a movie with that cute girl from your math class". Things you should enjoy. Things that'd help you be social. Things that make you feel human.)