#let’s look through thousands of notifs :D

[diddybok]

i’m back. what a good fucking week. like actually holy SHIT! i love this industry so much.

there’s SO many good things for everyone to look forward to highkey. i can’t say anything obvs (they strapped me to a chair and forced my hand to sign an NDA) but chix EYE am even excited.

anyways, admin time!

see ya

[always-just-red]

Hi! Hope this finds you well. Saw the request and wanted to ask for a Yandere Sylus with player reader. Like Sylus knows Mc is a player and he is a game character. When mc was gone for too long, Sylus gets impatient.

If you can do it, of course. If no, ignore this. Wish you writing ideas and inspiration

Hi! Hope you're well too, anon! Sorry for the long wait on this one, got really stuck with it and wanted to make sure I did it justice-- it was such a cool idea! (Also I know L&D has the microphone feature but I wanted to have fun with the limited communication of the player here, so no it doesn't, actually!! 🥰)

Fourth Wall

Sylus x Player!Reader 🩸

Summary: L&D is getting more and more real with each update. This is a new update... right?

Genre: idk really?? real world player x character

Warnings/Additional tags: yandere themes, player!reader, gender neutral, fourth-wall breaking, non-canon, swearing, mild threat, possessiveness, manipulation, Sylus is a little OOC here (we all know he's a sweetheart really!!)

| Word count: 1.5k | Masterlist |

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!

Your phone lights up with a notification.

Sylus: Are you in a good mood, sweetie? The weather’s nice, so let’s go out.

It makes you smile, even though you’ve seen it before. You haven’t played Love and Deepspace for two weeks or so, and you’re already thinking about how many dailies you’ve missed— more specifically, how many diamonds you’ll be short of going into the next event. You had a couple thousand saved, you think? It’s probably fine.

The truth is, you don’t really have time for it these days. Escaping reality with fiction is fun, but it’s just that: make believe. Reality’s still waiting for you on the other side, and recently? All that escaping has finally caught up to you. You have a real life. Responsibilities. Yay!

But you are in a good mood, and the weather is nice, so you’ll log in for old time’s sake. Your finger hovers over the app, but something makes you hesitate. You’ve got some emails you should probably get back to, first. Oh— and weren’t you supposed to call your friend, too?

Another notification:

Sylus: Take your time, kitten.

A new one? It’s just text on a screen, but you’re reading it— Sylus’s voice in your head—and you just know it’s dripping sarcasm. Before you have any time to dwell on it, your phone lights up with more notifications.

Sylus: I’m going to count to three.

Cute. He’s not actually going to—

Sylus: One…

Oh.

Sylus: Two…

Really?

Sylus: Three.

Ok.

You tap on the app, weirdly motivated by the time pressure given that it’s coming from a man who doesn’t actually exist. He smirks at you knowingly from the kindled moment you’d set as the loading screen, his crimson eyes playful. You’re not particularly patient either, so your fingers drum along the surface of your desk as you wait, your gaze caught between his and the slowly moving loading bar.

Come on… come on… It finally loads, and you enter the game with another apathetic tap. Sylus stands, waiting— a dark figure framed by the otherwise light and dreamy aesthetics of the Destiny Café. You smile to yourself; it’s just gone lunch, and you half expected to find him sprawled in the usual armchair, fast asleep.

He crosses his arms. “The countdown worked, huh? What are you— five?”

You scoff and give his head a flick. He chuckles, running a hand through his hair as though you’d struck him hard enough to ruffle it. It’s kind of cool that you get some unique dialogue when you’ve not logged in for a while, although… have you missed an update or something? The animation feels smoother. More lifelike, now you think about it.

Sylus stares back at you, his lips playing into a subtle smile. His arms are crossed again and he tilts his head like he’s enjoying your scrutiny. “Something wrong, sweetie?” he asks.

Not really. You zoom in with a practiced sweep of your fingers so you can get a better look at him. His eyes flit downwards, over you— equally shameless— and then he’s meeting your gaze as he steps forward, closing the distance. He can’t see you, but you still can’t bring yourself to look away from him, and you’re not really thinking about the animation anymore.

He lifts a finger to poke at the screen, as if he’s caught you daydreaming and wants you back. You poke him, too: a softer, more affectionate boop on the nose. You can’t help laughing to yourself as his face screws up beneath the touch. This game is getting a little too real.

With a sigh, you zoom out so you can set about collecting your daily log-in rewards. Sylus seems fine— standing idly by as your attention drifts about elsewhere. He knows the drill. He can wait. Speaking of waiting… it’s also been a while since you’ve seen the other guys, and you’re struck by a pang of nostalgic fondness. You might as well say hi while you’re here.

You hit the button to change who you want to meet in the café.

It doesn’t do anything.

Weird. You hit it again. Then again— no change.

Sylus is holding his chin as he regards where your finger aimlessly meets the screen. It’s like he’s looking at… the button? “Oh dear,” he sympathises, “that feature appears to have stopped working.”

You don’t really hear him, honestly. You’ve never had a bug like this, and you’re determined to overcome it with sheer, stubborn persistence. Is it your phone? You test the theory by jabbing Sylus’s chest, and he glances down, apparently feeling it. You try the button again. Then six more times.

Sylus wanders closer to you. “You’re hurting my feelings, sweetie. Am I not enough for you?”

Ok but why isn’t this working? You’re still trying the button; your hope has turned to frenzied disbelief.

“Stop.”

A single syllable, concise as a punch and just as effective. You do stop.

Sylus’s voice is lower. Darker. “Good,” he praises, but he doesn’t sound happy. “Someone’s gotten bolder in their absence, it would seem. I do hope you haven’t forgotten to whom you belong, kitten. Although—” his smile is different than before— “I’d be more than happy to provide a… reminder.”

It’s an innocuous word but not the way he says it. Threats are just intimate promises and he toys with the fact like a crow enamoured by something that catches the light. He’s not going to grow tired of it for a long, long time.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he says, sensing you gawping. “Did you really think I wouldn’t figure it out? What all… this is?” He indicates the space around him with a wave of his hand. “Quite frankly, I’m surprised the others still haven’t grasped it.” He reconsiders. Smirks. “I misspoke— I’m not surprised.”

Does he mean the game? The other LIs?  

“Honestly, kitten,” he continues with a tut and a shake of his head, “you’ve been far from a gracious host. I’m not a plaything, you know. Well…” He’s showing teeth with a sneer. “Not the sort you can throw away, anyhow.”

God, are you really being scolded by a video game character for having other responsibilities? The worst part is that you actually feel bad. You do care about him. You wish you could tell him you care about him.

“Are you even listening?” he sighs.

Shit. Yeah. You can’t say anything he would hear— as far as you know— so you give his hand a poke. He casts his gaze downwards, stretches his fingers with a contemplative flex, then raises his hand so it can be nursed by the other. Is he protecting it from you? Or is he protecting you from it?

“If we’re to keep playing this game of ours, I think it only fair we lay down some rules,” he states. “Firstly—” because it isn’t up for debate— “you will come here every day, just like you used to. I have nothing to do, you see, and if you leave me to my own devices I might just have to find a way into that captivating little world of yours. So I can… investigate what’s keeping you from me.”

Investigate. Another innocuous word he wields like a weapon.

“Secondly,” he continues, nodding towards the broken button on your user interface, “you had better stop seeing the others. Ignorance is bliss, after all, and we wouldn’t want to worry about them connecting any dots, now would we? Besides…” He approaches you again, leaning in close. “I don’t share what’s mine.”

Your breath is caught in your throat and you’re so glad you don’t need to speak. You don’t think you could; if you tried to get words out they’d be unintelligible.

“So,” Sylus drawls, filling your silence, “how about it? Still want to play?”

This time it is a question, but only because he knows your answer. You’re struck by a flash of inspiration, and you communicate in one of the few ways you can— navigating the in-game menus until you can get your message across.

There’s a ping. Sylus retrieves his phone from his pocket, and after a moment of scrolling, he smiles. You can’t see his screen, but you know what he’s looking at: a grumpy crow with an animated bead of sweat and a dispassionate gaze to go with it. That it? it asks.

He still looks far too smug, so you beckon him over with a relax time interaction, watching your character’s hand outstretch on your behalf. He steps forward, linking his fingers with yours, and this animation you know. You tug him closer, except… he doesn’t budge.  

His eyes are fixed to where your hands are linked, and he runs a thumb over your skin as though he’s savouring the touch.

Did they change the animation?

“Oh, sweetie,” he sympathises with a click of his tongue. He looks up at you— holds your gaze as he presses a deliberately slow kiss to your wrist. “This is going to be fun.”

[breezybangtanbebe]

Eye On You: Wonho❤️‍🔥

A/n: anyone ever sit back and think about how rich Wonho would be if he had an OnlyFan's account? Just me? 🌚 aw ok well....here you go🥴. I wrote this in like an hour so...

3.75k words

You never imagined you'd be the type to subscribe to one of these websites.

Hell, you barely liked forking over that $9.99 a month for Netflix and a small part of your soul died at the sight of that reoccurring charge on your bank statements.

But this felt different.

It was midday and you were alone in your room, writhing in bed as your body's reluctance to go to sleep frustrates you.

It wasn't as if you needed a nap but sleep was the only thing that could distract you from the insatiable ache between your legs.

So after scrolling on social media for a little bit, seeing enough of a particularly fine man's face and body on your timeline led you to fish out your debit card and open your laptop.

The cursor idles over the pixelated rectangle for what felt like minutes.

You've already created the account and input your payment information.

All you had to do was hit subscribe and an uncensored world of Wonho would be unveiled for your and 120,863 people's eyes only.

When you'd first seen him, you were amazed by the exaggerated definition of his muscles and undeniably handsome face.

Every Instagram post was either him fully clothed and candid, smiling or looking away as if he weren't aware of a picture being taken.

Or he was naked.

Ok, maybe not full-on ass-naked but he might as well have been.

Plump and pert glutes.

Thick muscled thighs.

Massive pecs that could easily fit in a d cupped bra.

Buttered Hawaiian roll-looking abs.

And then there was his....lower half.

No matter what he wore, there was never a reason NOT to look down at the sizable print that bulged in the most provocative way in even jeans or dress pants.

Him wearing a size smaller than his normal fit, no underwear, and sitting wide-legged in every picture didn't help either.

Don't even bother asking anyone what color his hair or his shoes are.

You damn sure didn't know.

All you knew was that when you realized this specimen had a Stream4You account, similar to OnlyFans, it only took a shameful 8 minutes for you to decide to subscribe.

The membership fee wasn't bad.

About as much as your Netflix subscription and you were sure to be much more entertained by this than the thousands of shows and movies you'd scrolled through.

Plus you could cancel any time so...

You click to enter the website and your eyes widen at the array of pornographic thumbnails from past streams.

"My gawd.." you gawk as you scrolled.

Well-lit 4K snaps of Wonho on his black leather couch.

Some of him alone, gripping his thick print in different colored boxer briefs.

Some of him with a woman in various sexual positions.

Doggy style with nothing but their naked torsos and legs in the frame.

Missionary with Wonho's massive upper body looming over a woman much smaller than him, their pelvis' pressed together.

Another with a view of the bare back of a woman kneeling in front of the couch and between Wonho's spread legs, his hand resting on the back of her head with his tipped back in ecstasy.

All of them different races and body types.

All of the gorgeous.

A pang of jealousy struck in your chest as well as deep within your clenching walls.

What an experience it would be to get fucked by such a magnificent man. You didn't even have to watch him in action to know he could fuck.

It was all in his aura.

You sigh, leaning back with your laptop resting on your tummy, scrolling down his profile with a pout.

Suddenly a notification bell pings in the corner of the screen, followed by a drop-down banner letting you know that Wonho was about to start a live stream in 5 minutes.

It's a shame how fast you clicked the link that led you to the waiting room which consisted of a black screen with a countdown, a sidebar with his past live streams in the queue, and a frenzy of comments popping off in a chat on the other side.

You immediately found the 'Turn off chat' option in settings because you didn't want anything distracting you from the main event.

After an agonizingly slow five minutes passed, the black screen shifts to an unexpected view of who you knew to be Wonho's glistening chest and sculpted abs.

He's leaning over the tripod, adjusting the angle from what it sounded like.

A second later, his beautiful face fills the screen.

"Hi guys...." he croons, smiling innocently in that way that reduced his eyes to slits and lit up his entire face.

His voice is deep and soothing, something you'd probably want to hear up close or in your ear first thing in the morning.

Wonho furrows his brow and tucks the soft pink tip of his tongue at the corner of his mouth as he goes back to fiddling with the camera.

"Bare with me a second everyone...I got a new tripod and I'm still figuring it out. This angle is not...ah..there we go." He huffs in triumph as he rights the camera in the way he intended.

He then kneels in front of his infamous leather seat. Not to be confused with his equally infamous black leather couch.

Wearing nothing but some black Adidas shorts and a smile, Wonho seats himself comfortably on the floor in front of the camera. He leans forward, squinting at it for a second before smiling and waving again.

"Can you see me ok? It's in focus?" He asks and you snort at the irony of him speaking so casually considering what he was setting the audience up for.

"Looks like I am. Anyway... Hi again. It's Wonho, your favorite. I hope everyone here is enjoying their day so far. I um....really have no plan for today's stream. I just got back from the gym and showered so I'm at home for the rest of the day. What are you all up to?"

Again, he was speaking to his audience as if they were coworkers or neighbors he say occasionally on his way in or out of his home.

It was...cute. Unexpected but cute.

Your brow crinkles in amusement.

Wonho smirks softly as he stared at what you assumed to be the comments, which were no doubt coming in by the thousands per second. His eyes squinted again as he read them, his smirk persistent at what his paying audience had to say. 

For a second you toyed with the thought of him asking you about your day with s genuine interest. He'd be looking at you the way he was looking at the camera now with expectant eyes and parted lips, hanging on to your every word.

" 'Just got off work.' Cool. 'Just had dinner..' Already? It's dinner time where you're at? I haven't even had lunch yet..'Hi, baby' Hi...' You're handsome' No you're handsome, whoever you are.." he chuckles cutely as he went through more similar comments before leaning back on his knees.

He lifts his arms and runs his hands through his hair, flexing his biceps and triceps unintentionally with the movement.

He then stands to extend his body in a stretch that gave you a godly eyeful of his body. Abs contract and quads flex as he stretched and your gaze falls to the plushy-looking hill that gathered at his crotch area.

He's not even trying.

After satisfying his muscles, Wonho exhales heavily and plops into the waiting seat behind him.

It groans under his weight and you could only imagine the things that chair had to endure being owned by this man.

On and off camera.

"Glad to hear all is well with you all. Thanks for tapping in." He says, resting his head in the nest of his interlocked fingers.

"As I said...I didn't really have a plan. I took a shower and had this urge to jack off but I didn't want to do it alone...."

Your ears perked up at the favorable turn of events and you reflexively push the laptop up to your chest.

"Oh..do tell," you mutter as if he could hear you.

"...So I figured I'd just get comfortable and do that while I chat with you guys until I cum. Or perhaps until you cum. Whichever comes first..." he jokes with a little chuckle.

His corny pun and little laugh alone should be considered a sin. How could a man so burley and huge be so cute at a time like this?

Wonho remains leaned back comfortably in his shorts that hung loosely from his tree trunk thighs, his hooded gaze fixed on the camera.

He lifts one of his hands from the back of his head to rub through his silky black hair again, mimicking the way you wish you could do the very same thing.

Beside him, an iPhone lays face down on the leather armrest and he picks it up, swiping his thumb over the screen a few times before focusing on reading the stream's comments from his own device.

Then he flashes that damned panty-dropping grin.

" ''Good plan' I know right? 'Deal.'  'Sign me up Coach. 'Cum first Daddy. I need frosting for my toaster strudel'...Wow. Nasty. And beautiful. You might have just inspired some future content with that one..." he says in response.

" 'Nice Tits.' Thanks. I work pretty hard on them so glad to hear it. 'Show us your dick please' Well since you're so polite.." he grunts.

Without wasting another second, Wonho lifts his hips to push down his shorts and underwear. They shimmy over his legs and drop out of view, leaving him shamelessly nude for the camera.

"There. That better?" He teases with a light-hearted chuckle.

As he continued to respond to comments, some funny and others nasty, your eyes fixated on the culprit of all of those damned likes on his Instagram posts.

Wonho's dick.

It sits lazily between his attractive man spread, not even erect yet but still impressive.

The fact that he's clean-shaven only allows you to appreciate his full size as you tapped the fullscreen icon in the corner.

Now filling your monitor, Wonho's muscular body and thick manhood captivate you entirely.

You'd never see a man so beautiful in your entire life and maybe it was your hormones leading you to exaggerate but...

"Shit..." you exhale, marveling at his size.

For a moment you wondered why he had so many subscribers. Beyond his good looks and entertaining content, you didn't think 120K for one guy doing normal amateur porn made much sense.

Until he took off his underwear.

Wonho's dick is gorgeous. Similar to his skin tone if he were blushing with a fat mushroom tip that looked like it had been kissed by lips stained pink.

Thick and surprisingly long to be flaccid. He reaches down to cup himself, ringing his shaft between his thumb and two fingers while his ring and pinky fingers rested over his balls.

Which looked heavy and smooth to the touch.

The thought has you nearly drooling on sight

Wonho slowly begins to stroke himself, the velvety smooth skin moving over his veiny shaft.

He readjusts his seating and spreads those massive thighs more for the camera, scooting forward so that the audience has a perfect view of all he was selling.

With his other hand, he holds his phone to read the comments. He smiles at whatever madness you imagined to be occurring in the live chat.

If you weren't already touching yourself, you might have been able to post a comment or two.

At some point the laptop materialized beside you on the bed, giving you the freedom to shuck off your underwear and caress your sensitive folds.

The pads of your fingers pass over your clit and you gasp, repeating the action in a rhythm mimicking Wonho's.

Slow and steady.

Teasing yourself just enough to arouse you more.

It's not long before Wonho's once drooping member is ramrod straight and standing up at its full length.

He's a grower and a shower.

My gawd.

Wonho pauses to reach for something on the floor and sits back up with a glistening glob of liquid from a dispenser off-camera. He drops the phone to clap the substance between his palms, warming the lube before reaching back between his legs.

His large hand encircles the shaft, twirling his wrist slightly on the upstroke that's now much smoother with the help of the lubrication.

Now his dick shined as if it were encased in glass, showing everything in greater detail. He jerks himself with the original hand, using the other to cup and tug his balls gently.

"Ah..shit.." he exhales.

His tongue runs over his top lip as he continued stroking, his chest moving with each breath.

Yours shuddered beneath your shirt as you rubbed over your clit in slow and teasing circles, but the wetter you become, the more stimulating your touch is.

A soft moan parts your lips and you spread your legs wider as if you were on full display for this beautiful man and not the other way around.

Wonho gets lost in his touch for a moment, not shying away from rubbing his perineum as he worked over his dick.

His head tips back and his eyes fell shut for a moment and you wondered what he saw when he did.

What did he think about when he touched himself? It's not like he didn't have a massive collection of savory images to recall from his past experiences.

You wondered what memories turned him on the most...

After a while of the same pace and some of the sexiest soft moans you'd ever heard come from a man, Wonho lifts his head and opens his eyes to gaze straight into the camera.

There was something different in his eyes now.

Long gone was the cute and funny guy with punny jokes.

There was now what you could only describe as a demon. The brown of his irises seemed black now and they hid halfway beneath his eyelids in a sultry stare that makes you clench around nothing with a pathetic whimper to follow.

"What the..." you pause, feeling as taken aback by his expression as you were by your body's reaction to it. 

A little smirk lifts at the corner of the demon's lips before he releases his ballsack. He does a quick wipe over his thigh to rid his palm of excess lube before picking up his phone again.

Wonho goes back to reading the comments, leaning over to rest his elbow on the armrest as he stroked his dick slowly.

His brows go up at something he read but he doesn't respond out loud, only sparing the camera a knowing look briefly with a sly smirk.

He then goes on to read more, his thumb strumming over the screen.

He laughs at something someone said and pauses to switch up his tactic for a moment, focusing just on the tip of his dick and stroking over it with a shuddered sigh.

This makes his eyes roll back and he curses under his breath.

By now, your clit was so hard and swollen that your legs twitched every time your fingers passed over it. Occasionally you'd slide them inside to stroke the ache away that grew from deep.

But you could only manage that for so long before feeling like you were about to cum.

And you know once you did that, it would all be over.

Wonho looks back at his phone and smirks.

" 'Stroke faster' Yeah? That's what you wanna see?" He asks breathily, his eyes never leaving his phone.

He then adheres to the request, most likely accompanied by a cash donation.

The tacky sounds of the lube slicking the motion of his hand kicked up as he jerked himself faster.

It must have felt really good because his smirk melts into him scraping his teeth over his plump bottom lip.

"Ah fuck...mhmm.." he moans, exhaling sharply through his nose.

You match his energy, strumming two fingers over your needy clit, hips rolling and back arching.

You moan louder now,  panting as the heat collecting at your apex mounts.

You were close and so was Wonho.

You could tell from the way he'd abandoned the phone to go back to sitting upright, the other hand groping his balls and rubbing under them. His dominant hand was doing what it did best, pushing him closer and closer with every upward stroke.

He cursed and moaned just as freely as you did and you only bit down on them so that you'd be able to hear him over yourself.

Not that it was an easy task.

Hearing him moan.

Watching his hips canting and his abs contracting.

Spotting the shine of pre cum dribbling from the hole at the center of his rock-hard tip...

You wanted him. You wanted him so fucking bad that it sparked tears in your eyes knowing it wasn't him fucking into right now.

Wonho's eyes lift and lock onto the camera as it had done a few times before and for a moment it felt as if he were actually looking at you.

Through you.

Straight to your soul.

"You're about to cum aren't you?" He asks and you hiccup amidst your moan in reaction.

You lift your head from your pillow and blink away the blurriness to inspect your screen.

"Yeah...Im talking to you. I've got my eye on you...I've had it on you this whole time.." he rasps, now stroking his dick as if her priming a weapon ready to fire at any moment. 

His mouth goes slack for a second and his eyes roll back a little, but he resists the urge to look away from the camera.

From you...

"Oh fuck..I wish I was there. I bet you feel so good..fuck I bet you look so sexy right now. Are you touching yourself for me? Hmm?" He continues, this octave lifting to a gentle coaxing tone that has no will to resist responding to.

"Yes." You whimper, rubbing and swirling over your bud with the sole intention of getting yourself off.

"Good....keep going. And don't you fucking stop until you cum, you understand me?" He commands with a lifted brow.

"Yes..yes. Oh god..." you cry out, tearing your eyes away from the screen to shut them.

"Yes, baby! Like that...just like that...Im about to..." Wonho grunts and you open your eyes just in time to watch the thick spout of pearl shoot from his tip. Some of it hits his chest, drizzling over his sternum as he kept milking his dick for more. It was like it would never stop.

Your mouth hung open in a silent cry as you give in to the impending explosion as it sizzled down your spine.

Your breath hitches and your fingers pause over your clit at the memory of his intense gaze and throaty moan of release, and it's enough to send you hurdling over the edge and into a heart-stuttering orgasm.

Your climax hits you like shockwaves, making your muscles tense and relax as it passed over your body.

Hooded and lust-drunk, Wonho exhales finally and slows his strokes to rid himself of any remaining drops of cum he had left before sagging against the coach.

"Fuck...that was good...shit..." he pants, talking more to the ceiling than to his audience.

You lay limp in your bed, staring dazedly at your laptop with your now exhausted hand resting over your pussy.

That was good. Better than you'd expected for sure. You felt that same liberating tingly sensation all over that you always felt after an intense orgasm.

But this felt different.

Even though this was what he did for a living and thousands of people watched him exactly as you had...

And even though you knew there was no way in hell that this man could see you when he looked into his camera...

In your own little bubble of horny delusion, he was looking at you.

And that is perhaps what makes him so popular. The way he connects with his audience. The way he just doesn't set up a camera and act as if no one is watching him. He engages and puts on a show well worth the $10.99 a month.

Knowing and feeling that made this monthly subscription feel less like an expense and more like an investment.

Wonho's hand still rested around his dick, which was still stiff in his grasp but not as erect as it was seconds ago.

He sighs and leans up from the back of the couch, the sound of his sweaty back pealing from the leather surface making him cringe.

"Alright guys...that was fun but looks like Im gonna have to take another shower.." he huffs humorously.

You watched him in silence as he reached off-camera for a small washcloth he must have prepared beforehand.

Wonho cleans himself casually, wiping his cum from his chest and abs as if he spilled food on his shirt or something, and it makes you smile weakly.

He then wipes his hands thoroughly before tossing the washcloth aside. The cushions squeak beneath his bare ass cheeks as he scooted forward, lifting briefly to detach the device mounted by the tripod.

Now carried in the hand he just used to jerk himself off, Wonho held his audience and lifted them so that he was looking up at the camera in selfie mode.

"I hope you enjoyed our time together. I know it was quick but I didn't want to interrupt your day for too long. I have a lot of cool content planned for the month so stay tuned. Subscribe to get notifications and become a platinum member for exclusive videos. Until next time. Come back and see me. Bye..."  he winks and gives the camera a quick wave before the screen goes black again.

And just like that, the stream was over.

I miss him. I miss his random IG posts of his bawdy. I miss his smile. I miss his laugh. I miss his dorky shimmy when he’s shy or embarrassed or happy over his food. I miss his daily vlives (dammit Vlive why’d you have to go!!? *waves fist)

*sigh* anywho..🌚 I think im gonna do more onlyfans wonho stuff

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

fic writer q&a

thank u @geneticcatalyst for tagging me <3<3 (when i opened up tumblr and saw the notification i was floored!! u?? participating in a writing game?? this is really cool im really happy about it! a normal amount of happy for normal mutuals who have def not spend a lot of their free time scream reblogging each other's takes with further additions)

How many wips do you have currently?

i usually work at multiple projects at once, it keeps me fresh, so, like, less than 30 but more than 10. lets not give out numbers to cultivate the illusion that i know what im doing

Which one are you finding the hardest to finish?

this isnt easy to answer because most of my wips give me headaches. im reluctant to say that all of them do, because i am an optimist, but the truth is that :D all of them do. but these kinds of headaches are usually easy to content with. most often its really just myself who stands in my own way; i have a method for that by now. i fridge wips and let them marinate for a bit, and often that is enough to work out the snares. either the enforced distance also established an emotional recontextualization, or future-me, who is 9 out of 10 smarter and more level-headed, immediately sees the issue and immediately knows the solution. god bless her

anyways! that is a longwinded way to say that yes, i have a wip like that. and its chosen in great honours for this title because, other than the other headache-inducing wips, this one's headache doesnt want to vanish even if i ignore it very hard, to my greatest chagrin. for one, i have to research a lot for it and subsequently examine subject matter that is difficult to expose yourself to over a prolonged period of time. my wip is inspired by and works through the socialpolitical events during soviet germany, nazi germany, and china during the time of the cultural revolution and in its present day. (im being vague on purpose.) im not a historian, and my formal education is helpful but lacking. the second reason, the true reason, is that through this wip, im also examining my own family history and recontextualize who i am in relation to it. its deeply personal and very emotional, and very exhausting. it also makes me, like, very angry, all the time. which is also exhausting.

What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?

that depends! im working on finding a better writing/resting balance for myself because im really bad at respecting when i have reached a healthy limit. i know that many people in the writing community struggle with getting words on the page or making daily writing a habit. i dont have that problem i dont have any problems im amazing, no im joking, of course i have problems, but its more the other way around. see afromentioned disrespect of personal wellbeing during working hours

my relationship to writing is super fraught. so when inspiration strikes me, i will not automatically open up my docs anymore and start drafting or editing, or to write down some notes, because that would mean to delegate the thing im currently doing to another time. i need to have a really, a really, really, good reason to do so now. (this is a recent development thats still in the trial and error phase.)

i dont want writing to have that kind of power over my day-to-day life, yknow. my motto is that if whatever im cooking up in that moment, if its really "meant to be", it can wait. and if not, well. thats not my problem! (it actually is my problem, but im trying to ignore that unfortunate happenstance. writing is, like, literally just a thing i do for fun, i dont have to do it, there are thousand other things i could do instead /threat, and not more. this is what im telling my brain everytime it tries to convince me to make more out of it than it is. takes out a knife.) i also find it super helpful to just, like, sit with the inspiration. to just enjoy that feeling of bursting creativity. it feels really good, like attraction. and i can channel that elsewhere. fortunately, i see myself as an artist (hairflip) rather than a writer, so, to my other innumerable talents belongs a variety of very cool creative hobbies that i literally could do instead. (and they arent nearly as stressful!!!!11!!!11! for me!!!! personally!!!1!!!!! oh look, a second knife, however did that come into my pocket.)

its been doing me a lot of good to just, like, not care too deeply, and only write when im in the right mood. i want the act of sitting down and tending to my wips to be a conscious decision i make in full-knowledge of the consequences, no matter how pressing it feels in that moment to “do” something with that strike of inspiration. cultivating that enjoyment of a story by spending a healthy amount of my writing time dreaming about it, and virtually “doing nothing” makes me happy, and helps me find to where i need to go in the end. that is also an argument i use to barter with my capitalist brain.

Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?

i used to curate playlists for wips. i still have those! theyre great for when i want to get into a specific mindset. i dont do that anymore though, too much work. most of my wips are fueled by the same music anyway, because most of my music listening to is being done while writing. thats also why i dont listen to music just for fun anymore, my music listening to capacity is fully exhausted (i know! how can i! im currently trying out this new thing called "recreational listening to music while lying facedown on the bed being a blob in the troposphere" its really nice)

Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized?

balls to the walls!!!!!!!! but id argue that these two things arent necessarily at odds u just have to know how to ride that rodeo (takes out a third knife)(camera pans in and it is revealed: im a knife bouqet shaped like a woman disguised in a trenchcoat)

tagging: @aiyexayen @intertexts @ayjada @fanghuas @gingabish0ujo

[sunny6677]

Spooky Month: The Dating Sim

Part 37

(I'm mainly just doing this because it's fun to watch, but this is basically a spooky month interactive thing/poll which is kinda like a dating sim. Of course, only the adult characters can be your love interests. So do take that in mind.)

————

A part of you felt a bit of irritation sink into you deep within, but on instinct, you tried to be polite regardless. So you opened your mouth to speak back to the woman..

...only to find a slightly passive aggresive comment making its way out of your mouth.

You immediately widened your eyes, a little shocked at such words coming from out of your mouth. The woman blinked, her brows raised and her eyes wide. With slightly gritted teeth, she looked at you for a moment, her dark eyes glistening with that of a raging fury.

She then turned her head away, placing her hands on her hips. "Hmph.. whatever. You can keep standing there. But you better stay miles away from me, you got that, plebian?"

In reply, you only nodded while swallowing a chunk of spit down your throat. The woman then swiftly turned, and with her hips swinging from side to side, she began to walk away—her high-heels clacking against the concrete ground as she did so.

...

You just decided that now would be a good time to head home. But a part of you wondered who that woman was, or why she seemed so intent on calling you 'plebian' like it was the medieval era or something. Even so, you let out a sigh, and swiftly turned around into the direction where your house was. And slowly, you began to walk there through the cool night, the sounds of a thousand crickets accompanying you as you did so.

————

You eventually made your way back home. And as of now, your eyes had been heavy with that of exhaustion. Your mouth would let out soft yawns of drowsiness every few minutes or so, and by now, you had been sitting on your bed. You had been fully prepared to head to sleep, for your eyes were slowly starting to flutter shut. But you decided to check your phone before you did so.

You slowly picked up your phone, clenching it in your hands. With a gentle tap of your thumb against the screen, the screen lit up—blinding you with pouring artifical light for a sheer moment. Then, when your vision adjusted to the brightness, you quickly blinked and realized you had three notifications from your messengers app. Which was.. surprising, honestly.

One message appeared to be from Lila, the message reading something along the lines of:

"Hi there! I was wondering if maybe you wouldn't mind taking care of my son again some other time? I don't really need you to right now, but he seems like he had so much fun with you today! He seems pretty happy that you were able to take care of him and his friend."

You smiled a little at the message, though it quickly faltered, for your eyes moved with concentration as you saw another message. This time, the message appeared to be from Kevin—it didn't look to be sent from too long ago. Only a few minutes ago actually.

The message had read:

"Hey, I'm back from work. I'm gonna have to go to bed soon, but do you wanna chat for a bit til I do?"

Another smile played at your lips, though your eyes then moved with concentration to the other message. This time, it.. appeared to be from an unknown number. Though judging by the way the person on the message spoke, you immediately took a quick guess at who it was.

"Hey!!! Is this that person I gave my number to??? If it is, then hiii! It's me, Radford! :D"

Well.. you didn't immediately take a guess, since the message said it itself.

You then thought for a moment..

[amortentiaparker]

jump, then fall into me ⇔ p. parker

you have been having secret rendezvous with your long time best friend's superhero alter ego. a little miscommunication is actually the biggest problem in these circumstances.

pairing: peter parker x fem!reader

word count: 3.7k

warnings: nothing much, just mentions of blood and not yet proofread lmfao also the top tier genre of friends to lovers ;)

A/N: AAAA I'M BACK screw college for tearing me away from tumblr and writing about my one true love peter benjamin parker. i feel so bad for missing out on everything and i hope i reconnect with everyone soon 🥺

this is actually based on a request (thank you so much anon!) but i switched it up and wrote it fully in peter's pov- which i have never done before so let me know if it's alright :D and knowing my ass, you know there's t. swift references.

i'll be catching up on some missed notifications and I MISSED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU sending all the love

my masterlist

It wasn’t a secret that Peter was absolutely smitten with you. He didn’t mind if his closest friends taunted him about it. The only time he would lock the ‘secret’ in a closet and throw away the key is whenever it involves your knowledge of it. Peter could solve the most difficult, mind-boggling mathematical equations and yet he couldn’t piece together as to why he gets flustered at the notion of you knowing how oh so smitten he is with you. Peter couldn’t decide if it was technically a crush, but maybe it truly was; he was just too chicken to come to terms with it.

“Good morning.” Peter’s spidey senses couldn’t predict how much of an impact your soft voice in the morning would affect his entire system.

“Good morning,” Peter repeated with a breath and he knew that your laughter was directed at his surprised expression, yet he didn’t feel embarrassed. He would go to any lengths just to hear a few seconds of his favorite sound.

“What’s up with you today?” You asked as you put the combination to your locker.

Peter nearly missed the question as his focus was on the colorful bead bracelet wrapped around your wrist. It was borderline tacky and difficult to pair with outfits due to its color combination, but it warmed Peter’s heart when you insisted to wear it every single day after the two of you got it from a local Brooklyn shop. You both agreed to buy something from the knick-knacks store when you saw the sign that it was closing down. Peter still remembers the look on your face when he agreed to your joking suggestion to purchase the bracelets so that you two could match.

“What’s with you?” Peter turned the question around as he saw that you were practically glowing. He couldn’t explain how and why but you were. He’s seen you multiple times with highlighter-- you showed him the difference between pink and gold undertones too- on the tops of your cheekbones, but this look to you was something else. It was like coming from within, a thousand candlelights lit underneath your skin and emitted a warm glow that Peter was eternally drawn to.

“Nothing,” You shrugged. He immediately dusted off the tiniest piece of lint off the collar of your sweater. The close proximity between the two of you gave Peter the opportunity to glimpse at the infinitesimal twitch on the side of your lips that indicated a smile was fighting to break through. Though distance didn’t really matter when it came to him knowing your body language.

“You didn’t answer my question,” You pointed out as the two of you started to walk to class.

“Nothing also,” Peter replied, mimicking your shrug from earlier and a teasing smile etched on his lips. The smile only grew wider when he saw your narrowed eyes looking directly at him.

Thankfully, you let the subject drop. Peter hasn’t come up with an answer to your question anyways. How do you tell your best friend of many years that somewhere along the way, the lines have blurred and now you make their heart skip a beat?

The first subject for the day was Chemistry and Peter hasn’t gotten over the guilt of taking pleasure in the fact that the subject wasn’t particularly your strong suit. It meant that he always offered to help you out and whenever a pairing was needed for the class, the two of you gravitate to one another like magnets. You were getting better though. And quickly at that too; with you now actively participating in recitations and solving the more complicated assignments on your own. He’s more than proud of you. But Peter feared that your time together would be cut short, and he let his be worries known through his jokes during your study “dates.”

Then again, he knew that you could always see right through him and you responded to his jokes with serious reassurance that nothing’s going to change. He still hasn’t gotten over the feeling of blood rushing to his face when you said that it’s even better because once you kick Chemistry’s ass, then you and Peter would be an unstoppable power couple.

“Why so chipper?” Peter piped up as he watched you place your notebook and pens in neat order by the side of your shared table.

“Can’t a girl just simply be happy?” You replied, the words coming out of your mouth in a dreamy sigh.

“Yeah, but during the start of midterms week? Highly unlikely for Y/N Y/L/N.”

You let out a hum because of Peter’s words. He observed as the side of your mouth twitched again but this time, it was more likely that you were pondering over what to say next.

“Well,” You shrugged. “I have some motivation.”

Peter smiled. He was relieved to see you so relaxed when in the past few weeks, you have been ranting to him about how nervous you were for this particular practical Chemistry test. Well technically you were speaking to him, but not him as Peter, the curly-haired boy you spend nearly every day with; but as Spider-man, the masked vigilante of New York City who you have spent your free late afternoons chatting with on your apartment fire escape.

It all began at least three months ago, nearly the end of summer vacation before senior year, when Peter had just gotten back from a vacation in California with May. Peter wanted nothing more than to run- or swing- to your place after his feet had touched familiar New York ground, but Karen immediately alerted him of a major bank robbery going down in lower Manhattan. Peter could’ve left it to the authorities but Karen told him that things were getting ugly real fast and some dangerous, underground-made weapons were involved.

Having to fight off a group of ten would usually be a piece of cake but the robbers had obviously anticipated Spider-man’s arrival because they had a few pieces of tech that counteracted Peter’s attacks.

In the end, Peter was left with a deep cut on the side of his abdomen and had to retreat to a secluded alley to take a few breaths in to stabilize himself. Turns out, the alley wasn’t as private as he thought when you caught sight of him and immediately stopped in your tracks.

You had never met Spider-man before and that was a calculated effort on Peter’s part.

He didn’t want you caught up with his life as a ‘hero’ because your safety always comes first. But of course, there were days when he nearly burst because there was nothing more than Peter wants in the world than to be honest with you. He wanted to tell you stories of how funny the new wannabe villains littering New York are or his training in the Avengers compound with Mr. Bucky Barnes, who was actually a lot funnier than how the media paints him out to be.

“Mr. Spider-man, are you okay?” Peter let out a chuckle which quickly morphed into a wince.

Of course, you would go against Peter’s one wish of not talking to anybody dressed as Spider-man, even if it was the hero himself. The amount of swindlers in cheap yet realistic replica suits were increasing by the day and Peter always reminded you to be vigilant in the case you would run into one of them. He didn’t know whether to be relieved that it was the real deal you were approaching or worried that, despite the cover his mask provided, you found him in a vulnerable spot.

“I’m,” Breathe in, Peter. “Fine.”

Peter would’ve turned on his voice modulation system, but his head was pounding and the scent of blood filling his nostrils made him forget. He just hoped the rasp in his natural voice would conceal his identity from you.

“Should I call for help?” You asked and Peter was desperately trying to seize control over his stimulated senses. Everything was in overdrive and the best he could do was focus on you. Your bated breath, the soft patter of your footsteps, the faint speed of your heartbeat, just you.

“N-no,” He waved one of his hands. He heard your steps come to a stop. “I got it covered.”

It was true. The pain may be threatening to release a pained groan from him, but Peter could feel his super healing work.

“Are you sure?” He didn’t feel himself nod but he concluded that he did because you stepped closer. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Peter finally looked up from his slumped position and you looked so angelic just by simply standing there. The setting sun behind you cast some sort of halo around your head and your wide, worried eyes set a fire in his heart, bright and burning like the color the dusk sky was painting over the city. If it weren’t for the loud sirens in the background, Peter would’ve been worried that the feeling of his super healing was an illusion and he was actually in heaven already.

“It’s alright, Miss,” Peter let out slowly. He nearly called you by your name. “I will be okay.”

As if to prove a point, he finally pushed himself up from the grimy brick wall and stood up straight in front of you. Tears pricked his waterline as the new position pulled at his open wound but you didn’t need to see and know that.

“Okay, uhm…” You shied away from looking at the white eyes of his mask to dig into the paper bag you were holding. You held out a sandwich wrapped in plastic.

“It’s no Delmar’s, a.k.a the best sandwich place in Queens, you should check them out if you happen to be in the area, my best friend and I love that place…” You were rambling now, a clear sign that you were nervous. “But here ya go.”

Peter’s smile was from ear to ear, but obviously it was out of sight for you, so he voiced his thanks out loud. A shiver ran up his spine as your fingers made contact with his gloved ones. It was an effect only you could induce onto him.

“How can I repay you, Miss…?”

“Y/N,” You smiled before shaking your head. “And there’s no need to. You do enough by protecting this city.”

Peter wanted to hug you and never let you go.

“Well, can I at least walk you home, Miss Y/N?” Peter offered a gloved hand.

In the back of his mind, there was a faint voice chastising him for getting close to you as Spider-man. But all that time spent away from you with nothing but FaceTime to connect to each other this summer, the selfish need to be around you overpowered his anti-hero protectiveness.

“Oh! Sure!” Peter heard your heartbeat grow erratic and he had to ignore the ego boost it gave him.

“Is it alright if I, uh,” Peter stepped closer to you. He placed a tentative hand on your waist. He wasn’t fully holding onto you yet but his gesture was obviously hinting at something.

“Oh, uhm, sure,” You whispered. “I thought we were going to walk?”

“Much faster and less media,” Peter shrugged, his arm now starting to slowly snake around your waist, as if to test the waters. He could tell that you didn’t see him as a threat so he proceeded to tighten his grip. “Hold on tight.”

“Oooh, Peter’s so going to kill me.” You whispered, mostly to yourself. Peter distracted himself from laughing by raising his web shooter to the direction of the sky.

Peter heard your squeal before the roar of the wind flooded his ears. Your grip on his torso got tighter every time the two of you dipped and shot back up above the New York skyline.

“Open your eyes!” Peter shouted through the wind. He felt your grip tighten once more and your face burrowed deeper into his suit-clad neck.

“No!” You exclaimed, nails digging into his shoulders.

“Don’t be afraid,” Peter managed to chuckle. He looked down at you for a second and saw how tightly closed your eyes were. “Please.”

He felt you huff before slowly lifting your head from where it seeked sanctuary in the junction between his neck and shoulder. You only had one eye open at first, fear evident in it. But once the golden light hit your cheek, an awestruck look immediately took over. A second later, both your eyes were finally open, slack jawed as you took in the sight of your home from this view up above.

The both of you were nearing Queens and Peter realized that he hadn't asked you where you lived. Of course, Peter knew but Spider-man didn’t. It would be creepy if he just landed on your apartment’s rooftop and gave no explanation whatsoever.

You were obviously in a trance whilst giving him the directions. Your eyes were still taking in the city and Peter found himself smiling once more underneath his mask.

Eventually, he landed by your fire escape. You were opposed to his rooftop suggestion because there may be people there right now, taking in the slipping moments of the summer weather.

You gave him many thank you’s and grabbed the sandwich from the paper bag where you stashed it earlier before you practically flew over the city. Peter’s stomach grumbled once the sandwich was in his hand.

“Wait…” You spoke, starting to stare at him with an apprehensive look to your face. “Are you the real Spider-man?”

“What?” Peter chuckled. Mostly because he found the furrow of your eyebrows endearing.

“Are you?” You pressed. “God, I’m such an idiot. This was what my best friend was warning me about!”

Peter just stood there letting you rant, watching in amusement. The adrenaline must’ve finally worn off and you were just starting to truly take everything in that just happened. On the bright side, at least you were always thinking of Peter’s warnings. Good girl.

“You’re asking that after I literally shot webs out of my wrist and clung to buildings?” Peter asked, his teasing tone creating a deeper divot in the middle of your forehead.

“Maybe you’re just a really good con artist,” You stubbornly replied, crossing your arms.

“I’m the real Spider-man, Y/N,” Peter said, starting to step backwards. “I promise I’ll pay you back.” Was the last thing he said before backflipping away from your fire escape.

And pay you back came in the form of him taking up the role of listening to your rants. Of course, what you told him were mostly the same things you told Peter, your completely normal, unenhanced best friend, but he didn’t mind. He could listen and watch you talk for hours about everything and anything.

What really thrilled Peter was that you talked to him- Spider-man- about Peter. You’d tell him about what you did for the day but this time, Peter could hear about the role he plays in your day to day life. It melted his heart every time you would tell Spidey a joke Peter told you. The double life situation was a conundrum, but Peter wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Maybe I’m just excited to see somebody later.”

Your words brought Peter back to the present.

“What?” He asked as he put on his lab goggles.

He finally looked at your eyes and he saw that same twinkling look you had when you fawned over that stupid Timothée Chalamet who the two of you met by a fancy restaurant in East Village almost one and half years ago. The adoration ran deep and the last time he saw that gaze in your eyes before the Timothée incident was when you briefly “dated” Ben Carter the summer before freshman year.

That look only meant one thing: you were talking about a crush.

Peter’s heart was hammering in his chest and he so badly wanted to ask you about this someone, despite how scared he was for the answer. But the teacher just had to start the timer for the 30 minute examination.

He didn’t know if it was a conscious effort, but Peter was subtly avoiding you throughout the entire day. Last minute sitting next to Ned during lunch or letting out a fake laugh when you made a pun during History class. The only way he could justify his actions was facing the fact that he was a coward and didn’t want to deal with the knowledge that you liked somebody else.

In order to have an outlet for his frustrations, Peter immediately got suited up after class and left to do his usual route. But still, you occupied his thoughts. He even had to ask Karen if there was something to do just to get his mind off you, but surprisingly the streets weren’t in need of Peter’s Avengers level assistance.

It was already dark by the time Peter decided to go home, May’s text that she made baked lasagna somehow lifted his spirits. But from where he was, he had to pass by your place before getting to his. He nearly forgot about your agreement to meet (you told him to come anytime), with him as Spider-man of course, so he made the conscious decision to really get near your building. He hoped you were up for a conversation.

You were merely a tiny dot in the distance, but Peter already knew that it was you. You were sitting criss cross on one of the chairs your neighbors set up on the rooftop. Your usual meetup spot would be by your fire escape because it was more private that way and he’d get your attention by knocking on your window to the opening beat of Another One Bites The Dust. But maybe the universe had something different for Y/N and Peter today. And with Peter came Spider-man.

As he got closer, as if there was an invisible string pulling him to you, he saw that you were fiddling with one of the fairy lights set up behind the chairs, a defeated look on your face.

Peter sighed and decided to finally make his way closer. The familiar thwip caught your attention and you sat up straighter. Usually, you would be a lot more chipper to see the superhero, but you had an almost imperceptible frown on your face that immediately worried him.

“Hello, Y/N,” His voice sounded foreign to him as Karen immediately turned on his voice modulation setting. “Are you alright?”

“No.” Was your simple reply before hugging your knees to your chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

It was always like this; your comfortable routine with Spider-man. Whenever you had a problem, which was rare, he would always ask if you wanted to talk about it. If no, he’d understand and change the subject and if yes, you would give him the condensed version because at that point, the heavy feeling in your chest has most likely settled already because you had talked about it to Peter before seeing the hero by your fire escape.

You never told Peter any of your secret meetings with the hero, but it didn’t bother him. He liked how you were very respectful of Spider-man’s privacy that you didn’t go around bragging about how you occasionally hung out with New York’s hero.

“I think so,” You sighed. “Remember Peter? My best friend?”

Peter stood up straighter at this and nodded, “What about him?”

“Well I finally got the courage to see who he really is,” You trailed off, which caused a bead of sweat to break on Peter’s temple. Where were you going with this?

Who he really is? Last time he checked he wasn’t a bad person. Or did he do something that was bad in your eyes? Because he would go on his knees to beg for your forgiveness in the blink of an eye.

“Peter’s someone I,” You started tearing up and Peter panicked, not knowing how to approach. Spider-man hasn’t hugged you ever, unless the time he swung you home counted. “Someone I’m in love with.”

It was as if his brain short circuited and he couldn’t produce any other word to come out of his mouth other than, “What?”

“Yeah, I finally came to terms with my feelings and- god, sorry, this should’ve gone differently,” You sniffed. “I was so excited this morning to tell you because you’re the only person who I could tell that wouldn’t freak out and cause a scene, but here we are…”

“W-what happened?” Peter was opting to use words that were simple and easy to string together.

“I don’t know,” You wailed, tears now freely falling down your cheeks. “I even had the stupid thought that, ‘hey! Maybe I should tell him!’ but he just started ignoring me.”

Peter wanted to reply with ‘well that Peter’s a jerk’ or some other form of insult towards himself, but his mouth moved before he could fully think, “Maybe he likes you back.”

It was the first time tonight that you looked at him and your lips formed into a half smile, letting out a sarcastic laugh that contrasted against the sad gleam in your eyes.

“No- no, he doesn’t,” You wiped at the stream of tears and it was official, your confession has rendered Peter’s brain useless and his heart was doing all the thinking for him.

“Peter has never ignored me on a normal day,” You continued but quickly stiffened as his gloved hand cupped your cheek and his thumb gently wiped away at a stray tear. “He didn’t even laugh at my, very good may I add, Aaron Brrrr joke earlier and left me after class. He’s never left me alone on purpose.”

“Peter’s an idiot,” He said, coaxing a small giggle out of you. “And very sorry.”

“What-”

It was time, Peter thought. The opportunity presented himself and he gathered whatever superhero bravado he could find. He wasn’t going to tiptoe around feelings when it’s already out there. By some unknown reason, you actually felt the same for him. That was the last push he needed.

Peter slowly took off his mask, and despite him promising himself to stop using his enhanced abilities on you, it was hard to ignore how loud your heart was beating. The bustle of New York was white noise at this point.

“I’m in love with you too.”

left it to an open ending because MWAHAHAHA it's up to you my loves,, i hope you liked it and i'd really appreciate the feedback! ❤️

tag list (also tagging people who i hope will like! <3) @woahmrstark @elios-timotea @decadentwastelandtrash @thevery-firstpage @xetherealbeautyx @love-you-to-saturn @givebuckyhisplumsnow @imawhoreforu @ysywyw626 @spideyspeaches @bakugouswh0r3 @lauramacch @moonykiss @616films @vendettaparker @celestialholland @parkerpeter24 @alinastarkrovs @daiiybuugle @hunnybunimdun

[asset35-maya]

Prompt no. 18 from this list

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

“Sorry, just give me a minute, babe. I need to recalibrate the interface I’m using…”

Gavin’s voice trailed off. The only sound in the room was from the clacking of his keyboard, his fingers flying across the keys.

Nines tried his best to take his mind off his situation. Immobile in bed… with the very real possibility that it could be permanent.

It was a just a software update… just another afternoon nap… but now he had no idea whether he’d ever move again.

Noticing his stress levels spiking, he focused on Gavin. The crease of his brows… the old scar across his nose… the determined set of his jaw as he scrubbed through lines and lines of code to find the root of the problem.

Gavin.

Lover. Friend. Saviour.

The man he depended on for everything, including his continued existence.

Nines silently thanked whichever force of nature had brought him into the safety and sanctity of Gavin’s embrace. RA9 or God or the laws of physics that dictated where atoms would end up from the beginning of time.

Not all androids were as lucky as he was.

After the Revolution, the digital giant known as Cyberlife had been dissolved under political pressure from New Jericho and its vehement supporters. Android production ceased, Cyberlife’s assets were stripped and its R&D departments were spun off into smaller, more benign companies.

People were elated in the beginning… and then they realised there was no one around to maintain and service the androids that now comprised 30% of American citizenry. Private technicians had booming business, but they were eventually overwhelmed.

The worst of it was the software.

The patches, the bug fixes, the security.

No single company was able to do it by themselves and individuals realised they were pretty much on their own. Human husbands and wives and girlfriends and brothers and pretty much everyone scrambled to learn how to take care of beloved androids on their own.

Gavin was one of the most capable ones. He knew how to do most of the mechanical work and quickly taught himself the software and systems elements. When Nines asked him how he was so proficient… whether he learnt any of it in college… he wouldn’t respond directly. The closest Nines had gotten to an answer was a grumbled “s what happens when you share a room for fifteen years with the nerdy prick that started all this trouble in the first place”

It was initially tough on the both of them… and expensive… as they figured out how to do things by trial… but Gavin was confident and adamant that he wouldn’t let Nines down. He quickly reached a steady state, even managing to get a maintenance routine in place.

But he couldn’t be perfect.

And there were things he couldn’t control.

Androids were the most complicated cyberphysical systems on the planet. Anything and everything could go wrong at any time…

And it had… during a major OS update.

“Babe, can you hear me?”

Nines’ LED cycled yellow once and went back to red.

Gavin held one of the limp hands in his own.

“Can you feel this?”

The LED spun again.

“Great. And I’m pretty sure you can see me, I know that look in your eyes, babydoll. Hmm… okay, that means all the sensors and IOT device connections are fineee…”

The musing continued as Gavin set aside the laptop and scooted closer to Nines. A gentle hand came up to tilt the android’s face from side to side.

“But you can’t talk…”

“AAAAAAAAAA”

“Wow. Never make that noise in the bedroom again. Hmm… Okay, this means your vocal chords are fine but you can’t move your mouth. Huh.. well… you can’t seem to move anything… not that different from your usual participation levels in bed then. Not to worry.”

The only thing Nines could do was glare and Gavin seemed relieved that even that was possible. He patted the android’s cheek.

“I’ll check your motor actuation and control. Simple modules. I should be able to see anything strange right away.”

Gavin resumed scrolling through the chunks of code and running searches for common errors. But minutes passed… and turned into an hour… and the hour, doubled, tripled.

But Gavin was undeterred. He had to be. Giving up was not an option. Plus, years of being a dedicated police officer had wiped out any fears of hard work and failure… he would scroll all night if it came to that.

A notification popped up on the screen.

RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: Sweetheart, you’ve been trying for hours. Take a break.

Gavin turned to his side. Nines could detect the worry and agitation behind the facade of lighthearted calm.

“I know right. It’s not fair. You’ve been chilling this whole time I’ve been working. Tsk tsk.”

RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: I’m serious, Gavin. Stop. Take a break for today. Call someone. You can try again tomorrow morning.

“Nines, you’re not a work assignment. I can’t take a break from you. You can get up and close this laptop for me.”

A few more hours passed. Frowning, Gavin climbed under the covers with Nines and began troubleshooting and testing all other modules too. It was a massive undertaking, but he’d be damned if he didn’t do it.

RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: Know when to give up on a lost cause.

It was nearly two in the morning when that message popped up. Gavin’s eyes were red from all the screen time, but his fighting spirit had not flagged. If anything, he felt close to the finish line. Having gone through nearly the entirety of his lover’s system architecture, there were only a few stones left unturned. He’d identify the problem, win half the battle and then the solution would flow from there. It always did. They’d be fine.

He turned to tell Nines precisely that and balked at the tears staining the android’s perfect face.

“Hey…”

Gavin leaned over his partner and wiped the tears away.

“Hey… shhh… don’t… don’t worry, I’ll take care of you…”

RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I’m putting you through all this. Things can’t go on like this. I’m such a liability. Emotionally, physically, financially! You can’t keep doing this for me, Gavin.

Gavin placed the laptop on the bedside table and slipped deeper under the covers, wrapping himself around Nines’ still form.

“It’s a good thing you can’t speak right now, cause you’re talking some major bullshit, baby. You are going to be FINE. I will take care of you, like always, like I promised.

You are not a liability. You are my man. I signed up for this. If you were human and sick and I dunno, needed a kidney or something, I’d simply give it to you. You and I are bound like that. For life.

So quit bitching, let me do my thing, and when you’re back… you know how to thank me.”

He smiled genuinely as he said that, stroking the android’s skin and trying to calm him down. When the speed of the LED cycles came down and the colour stabilised at a warm amber, Gavin kissed the frozen lips and gave Nines one last cuddle before returning to his computer.

Sunrise began to streak across the dark sky by the time the critical error was identified. Gavin sighed deeply as he pulled up the faulty synchronisation that had jammed the hundreds of motors and drives throughout Nines’ body.

There was actually nothing much to be said for the root cause of the failed execution loop. Just improper methods written for some of the new hardware they had installed the previous week.

That’s what they got for using uncertified biocomponents and unlicensed third party software bought off the seedier parts of the internet. Some incompatibility somewhere would inevitably trip them up. Gavin was usually able to see such trouble before it found them… but even he couldn’t be perfect.

He stretched and cracked his spine and wiggled his fingers before plunging into rewriting the problematic section. He would sleep like a log after this… but first, he had to sprint to the finish line.

And he did.

At 7AM, Gavin finally copied the clean code into the compiler and hit execute. After a brief reinitialisation, Nines blinked awake. He raised his hands tentatively. As soon as he realised full functionality had been restored, he sat up and threw himself at Gavin, smothering the exhausted human in a giant hug.

Gavin hugged back, fighting to keep his emotions at bay.

“All… all good?”

“You saved my life. Again.”

“I’ll do it a thousand times more if I need to.”

“I thought I was done for.”

“Don’t be dramatic. It was just some bad code.”

“I could have been stuck like that forever. Never moving, never talking. Just lying there till my charge drains out. That could have been the end for us, and frankly, I was prepared for that eventuality. You should be too.”

“Never.”

“I don’t doubt your abilities, sweetheart, but we are painfully limited by our resources. There’s things in this world that only Cyberlife can do and they’re never coming back. We have to make our peace with that. Pulling all-nighters just to keep me alive… it’s not sustainable.”

“Hey it’s not like this happens all the time, Nines. I get that this was really scary, but it’s not always like this… so please don’t tell me whether things are sustainable. I will always fight for you. End of discussion.”

Nines didn’t respond and just rested his head on Gavin’s shoulder. His steel blue eyes were fixed on the pair of birds fluttering outside their bedroom window. They sat intertwined like that on the bed for a while. Now that he could, Nines didn’t seem to want to stop holding his partner. The birds landed on the window sill, chirping away and enjoying the morning breeze.

“They’re really quite sweet, aren’t they? The two of them are always here in the morning. I should build them a little bath in our garden.”

“They’re mates.”

“Huh. Just like us.”

“You know… it’s just a myth, what they say… that birds die when their mates do.”

“What?”

“Most species will go through a grieving period, but after that they will begin courtship again.”

“What the phck are you on about? No one’s dying and no one’s beginning courtship again. Nines, I’d move heaven and earth before anything like that happens.

Besides, if I really, really couldn’t get your body to work, worst case scenario, I’d just transfer you to a mobile device. Carry you around like a voice in my head… like my conscience… I promise you that nothing can keep us apart.”

It wasn’t all that easy to convince Nines, and Gavin wasn’t about to try. It had been an ordeal for the both of them. It wasn’t the first time, and it might not be the last. But for the time being, they had emerged, and they had each other, and that was all that mattered.

Yawning, Gavin lay back among the mussed sheets and pulled Nines with him. Birdsong and the muted whir of thirium pump compressions lulled him into a dreamless sleep.

[consumeconstantly]

Bring Me To The Precipice of Victory

1| 2 | 3(you are here) | 4  | next

Summary: When Batman departs— just for a short time, just to patch things up in Gotham— things go horribly, horribly wrong in Paris.

He doesn’t know if he can come back from realizing that Marinette and Ladybug are one and the same (and that his daughter has died more times than he can count.) (all biodad bruce are posted in chronological order but can be read as stand alones)

______________________________________________

The moment of peace, of solidarity, that Batman shares with Ladybug up on that rooftop at night means the world.

After a minute or two, Ladybug pulls back, tear tracks down the sides of her face, eye and nose red. She takes another minute of silence,hugging herself in the muggy Parisian air. When she next opens her eyes, Batman can almost imagine that Ladybug never cried at all. 

But he knows that's not true. Ladybug seemed so fragile in his arms. He can imagine— he can imagine Dick in her place, broken over Jason’s death. Tim losing his parents. All of his children facing insurmountable odds with no team by their side. Alone. 

Ladybug is not alone, but functionally, she may as well be. He’s watched the fights. He’s analyzed them. Ladybug is always, always the leader. She strategizes with Ryuko and Viperion, but Ladybug is who everybody looks to for an answer when things don’t work out the way they want them to. She’s the one with the plan, the backup plan, the out. She’s the one who swoops in to save the day.

She’s also the one who has racked up the most hours on the battlefield. Even Chat Noir, her partner, only has three quarters of the hours that she’s put in. For most of the other members of her team, she puts in double, sometimes even triple of what they do. Over the course of six years, there have been a little under two thousand battles, lasting from under an hour to over five hours. Ladybug has shown up for every single one, without fail. That’s not even counting the patrols that they do; although Ladybug is given a lot of flack for not patrolling as often as Chat Noir, there’s a fundamental difference in how they patrol. Ladybug is methodical, Chat Noir is volatile. 

He’s not a bad superhero when it comes down to battle, but the two of them are fundamentally different. Ladybug sees her time as a superhero as a duty. Chat Noir seems to view it as a time to unwind— and while that’s worrying, considering the information he’s gathered on the Miraculous Team so far points to the majority of them beings teens or young adults— it’s not what is needed to deal with the Paris situation. 

Perhaps one of the easiest ways to see these differences is during patrol. Chat Noir uses patrol time almost seems to be an outlet for stress. He entices whoever he’s on patrol with to race to random places in Paris with no rhyme or reason. Whenever he comes across crime, he stops it, but Ladybug— Ladybug searches for crime.

Ladybug has a team and she trusts them with her life, but she cannot trust them to be responsible. That is perhaps the worst possible thing that can happen. And through the videos that he’s watched, it’s clear that the hours she puts in do affect her, and fairly heavily. 

Whoever she is, she’s young. Too young to be in battle untrained, because they are untrained— despite being in the field for years, all of their basic form lacks and tells anybody with an experienced eye that they’ve never had formal training in martial arts. 

When Batman and Ladybug leave the roof, they leave on a better note than where they started. Batman is still upset that Tom and Sabine are dead, but he cannot attribute it solely to Ladybug’s negligence. He admires the young heroine for rising to the occasion when there was nobody else to help. He has no doubt that with the resources and training that he can provide him and his operatives already on the case, Hawkmoth will be revealed in no time at all. 

He’s right, but in the worst possible way. 

It’s largely a mistake on hiss part-- he gets a notification that the Joker broke out of Arkham again, and Hawkmoth and Pavona are missing for the time being. Though Ladybug has made a mistake in not taking Pavona out immediately, she and her team have won every akuma and sentimonster battle. The logical course of action is to go where the most danger is. 

Bruce does not have any predictive powers. There is no way for him to know what’s going to happen. But when he and his team finally catch the Joker and put him away again-- a feat that takes just a little under twenty four hours, extreme concentration, and a good number of injuries-- Batman finally gets a chance to breathe. The adrenaline from facing off against the Joker’s latest scheme fades. Batman reclines in a chair as Alfred binds his  wounds and passes him pain relieving pills while he gets stitches in his abdomen. 

He checks the news in Paris. 

He almost drops the device that he’s using to view the news. 

Marinette’s existence has been hidden from his family. With Dick, he was more concerned about his existence as Robin, rather than informing him that he had a sister. As soon as he started contemplating bringing up Marinette, Batman and Robin had a bad break. Then Jason came along, troubled and angry. Bruce didn’t want to introduce Marinette into the mix then because he was volatile. 

Jason died due to Batman’s incompetence. Bruce grieved the loss of his ward; Batman was never allowed to mourn the loss of his second Robin.

Tim felt unworthy as the only child Bruce didn’t pick up off the streets, and Damian-- well, Damian was Damian. First he had a superiority complex the size of the Grand Canyon, and once he got accustomed to how they handled things in the Wayne Manor-- though Tim would argue that Damian is still not used to this kind of lifestyle-- he overcompensated every single mission and needed a remedial course on How to Interact With Other Humans 101. Add the overarching concern of Marinette being exposed to his vigilante life style and being unprepared for it, and he was never able to tell his children that he had another biological kid. A daughter.

When the news that Sabine and Tom died reached his ears, he told everybody he had business in Paris without elaborating what. With Wayne Enterprises opening a Paris branch of their R&D specialising in European artifacts, it was easy to draw connections that weren’t there.

“Bruce, you need to relax. Business in Paris can be dealt with later, you need to take the time to heal,” Tim says.

A clip in his shoulder from a bullet, knife wounds on his torso and legs, a sprained wrist. Whatever chemical experiment the Joker got his hands out still pumping through his veins. “I need to go-- it’s important--”

The pain relievers Alfred gave him earlier were also a sedative. 

Tim catches him before he passes out.

#

He wakes up three hours late through sheer force of will.

“Paris!” Bruce jolts upright, still in costume, lying prone on a medical cot in the Batcave.

The first thing that catches his eyes is the red and black flying across the screens.

Ladybug.

His kids are all watching the screens with abject horror. 

“Is this,” Tim wets his lips. “The business trip that you were on?”

Bruce drags himself out of bed, adrenaline washing out any residual pain. He doesn’t have the capacity to respond, he needs to get to the zeta tube, he needs to get to Paris, Ladybug is bleeding, the city is in shambles, and Marinette-- 

One of the news sites up on the screen declares the arrondissements that are obliterated. The one that houses Tom & Sabine’s Boulangerie is amongst their number. An approximate death toll fills the static.

-- Marinette is likely among those lost. He has lost another child due to his inaction. Due to his inability to push through, to look forwards and predict the future and the consequences of his actions. Marinette is another Jason, but if Ladybug doesn’t get it together, she’ll be gone permanently. And Ladybug is little more than a child. She can’t handle it, not by herself, not with her team. She needs an experienced hero, and Batman will be there for her, be the one leading the charge against Hawkmoth as the civilians hide in their homes and pray for her Miracle Cure to reverse the damage.

Dick places a hand on his shoulder. Bruce tries to shrug it off, but his fingers dig into the place where the bullet clipped his flesh. The pain is just a reminder that if he does not get to Paris now, there will be thousands-- no, millions-- more who feel this pain. How did Marinette die? Was it an akuma? Did the rubble of one of the destroyed buildings fall on her? Did Ladybug even try to protect her?

“I need to go,” Bruce growls.

“You can’t. While you were out, the majority of the Justice League prohibited all travel via zeta tubes. Nobody can get into Paris right now.”

Bruce knocks Dick’s hand off his shoulder and turns to his eldest. At the very least, Dick and the rest of his children look solemn. Damian’s gaze is fixed to one of the screens that shows Ladybug. “A city is in danger, millions of lives are at risk, Marinette--”

His daughter is dead. He can’t bring himself to say it out loud.

Standing by idly is the last thing he’ll let himself do.“Who put out the order? I’ll get them to reverse it.”

Dick moves so he’s between the zeta tube and Bruce. “B, you don’t understand. If you go to Paris right now, you’ll get akumatized.” 

“I can handle my emotions.”

Jason points at the upper right section of screens that’s replaying past footage. “I wouldn’t bet Paris’ survival on it. Not when more level headed superheroes got on the scene first and failed. They really don’t need any heavy hitters getting akumatized. Not when Superman put three members of their team out of commission.”

Superman arrived on the scene first; it took a matter of seconds for him to get akumatized. He was responsible for razing down three arrondissements in no time flat. Ladybug had to call for a Lucky Charm in order to get her hands on some kryptonite, which forced her to recoup after her time ran out. 

Black Canary arrived next. Then Red Tornado. 

Both were akumatized in mere minutes. 

“After Red Tornado got akumatized, Wonder Woman led the charge to put the rest of the zeta tubes on lockdown,” Duke says, grim. “All we can do now is hope that these Parisian superheroes can pull off a win.”

Bruce stumbles over to get a better view. He remembers Ladybug, small and slight in his arms. A child, crying over the loss of her pseudo parents. 

A warrior, bloody and bruised and broken.

She is one of the last ones standing.

King Monkey and an ox themed hero both died at Superman’s hands. The former got in the way of his laser beams, the latter a victim of super strength and getting thrown through two buildings and having their necks snap at an unsightly angle. Chat Noir was also sent hurtling through the air, and the only reason he was still alive was because Ladybug alighted from the sky and grabbed him before he got sent through a building in his unconscious state. Black Canary came shortly after, apparently informed of the Superman situation and carrying kryptonite. 

She didn’t last for long either. Almost immediately after helping Ladybug and Ryuko bind Superman in such a way that he couldn’t escape, 

Pegasus got hit by Black Canary’s sound waves and Chat Noir’s residual injuries from his fight with Superman forced him into a state of unconsciousness. Queen Bee and Carapace were able to pull off a win against Black Canary, but not without serious injuries. Ryuko faced off against Red Tornado alone, which normally would have been a thing of awe, but in the grander scheme of things, was a huge issue, as without her, the Miraculous Team functionally lost all of their heavy hitters. Rena Rouge and several Miraculous users that clearly had never been in battle before were the ones left to hold their own against the scores of akumatized Parisians.

The only ones left to hunt down Hawkmoth and Pavona were Ladybug and Viperion, and the former was already on her third use of Lucky Charm.

Ladybug pulls out her communicator, dodging an attack.

“Can we get sound on this?” Jason grips the closest table.

Dick shakes his head. “Zatara says there’s already enough interference just trying to get these images. And for some reason, Dr. Fate refuses to get involved with any of this.”

Bruce’s phone rings. He doesn’t pick it up on the first ring, too focused on the ongoing battles. He does take his phone out of his pocket to silence it the next time, but when he presses the sound off, an image comes through.

“Bruce.” Ladybug’s image comes through crystal clear, and it doesn’t make him feel any better. Ladybug, blood dripping from her mouth, costume torn open, hair burnt, wild eyed. 

He opens his mouth to speak, but the image goes blurry as she moves to avoid several attacks pointed towards her. 

“Before I go, I--”

“Watch out, LB!” Bruce lifts his eyes to the screen that displays Ladybug and Viperion in battle. The spotted heroine gets pushed out of the way of a laser, but the snake themed hero takes the hit.

The ambient noise coming from his phone is strong; he can hear blades clashing in the background as Chat Noir, already on his last legs attempts to hold off Darkblade. Screaming from civilians, a strangled sob from Ladybug. “Viperion.”

Ladybug comes back into view. Blue eyes filled with rage.

“If this doesn’t end in our favor, you need to make sure that Hawkmoth and Pavona do not acquire both the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous. Do whatever it takes to prevent that from happening.” She blinks, retreats into herself, and Bruce wonders if he’s seeing the girl behind the mask. 

“And If I don’t get to see you again--” If I’m dead, the words go unspoken, “I really did want the chance -- I-- you’re a good man. A good father. Your daughter-- she loves you. She really, really does. Stay safe.”

The transmission cuts off. On the screen in front of him, Ladybug closes her communicator, closes Viperion’s open eyes, and strides to the epicenter of the akumas. Blue fire flashes in her irises, and for a moment, she’s staring directly at the screen. And Bruce knows those eyes. He knows them. 

The next second, all of the computers simultaneously die.

Bruce is numb. No-- no.

He is nothing.

#

All his children-- no, not all his children, Marinette is missing, Marinette is Ladybug, and she’s out on a field that he can’t see grappling with magic forces strong enough to incapacitate Justice League members like their powers and abilities are inconsequential-- stare at him.

“That was… Ladybug?” Tim’s brow furrows. It’s clear that he’s thinking up a hundred different reasons why Ladybug and Batman are connected, why he’s the last person she calls before going into a battle that could very well cost her her life.

“My daughter.” The words are ash on his lips. An existence he’s never acknowledged. Not out loud. Saying it brings a sense of finality to the room. An impending death. “My daughter.”

Nobody asks how long he’s known or when he met her or why he’s never brought it up before. Everything is fuzzy. Floating. 

For a while, there’s silence. 

“Zatara says there’s too much interference to get the picture back up,” Dick opens his messages, frowning. 

Damian still stares at the screen Ladybug looked at directly, frozen.

Bruce picks himself up and moves. He may not be able to use the zeta tubes, but he has a private jet and a license, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t do something.

#

It takes two hours too long to get to Paris. He shaved five hours off the flight length due to superior technology, and another hour and a half off due to sheer force of will. 

The landing is not a pretty thing, but Paris is already in shambles, and there’s no way that the ATC will approve his landing, so Bruce picks out the flattest looking spot of rubble before his jet meets the ground.

According to Tim and Duke, who stayed behind in case this turned out to be an attack spanning multiple cities, the battle ended mere minutes before they landed. Dick manages to get Zatara to broadcast the image in the cockpit of the jet, and on the screen lay three prone bodies. Gabriel Agreste, whose body type fits that of Hawkmoth, Lila, and a third that Bruce does not recognize. 

A bone sticks out of Marinette’s arm, the connected hand crushed and hanging limp. The opposing ankle is twisted almost fully backwards. She is covered in blood and ash and filth. There is no victory in her eyes. Only weariness.

In her good hand, she holds her yoyo. 

She raises her eyes skywards-- the roof of the Agreste mansion is blown clean off-- blinks slowly, and throws the yoyo into the air. 

“Miraculous Cure,” her lips read.

The corpses in Paris rise from the dead. Rubble reforms into buildings. The ashy haze that covered the city disappears.

Ladybug looks like she wants to disappear, too.

She collapses, instead.

Nobody is there to catch her when she drops to the floor. 

@biodad-bruce-month

Maribat tag list(to be added onto this pls send me an ask/dm): @our-precipreciousss @my-dear-friend-anxiety

Who Are You (and what will you become) tag list (to be added here just comment): @anjuschiffer @theunquiet-dead @certainmuffinbagelcalzone @cresentmo0n @allulily @myazael @zalladane @rebecarojas07 @keepingupwiththemalfoys  @frieddonutsweets @all-mights-asscheeks @thornalchemist23 @trippingovermyfeet @jiso-lee @redscarlet95 @ira-sairain @screechingflapbiscuitpeach @ramos123 @cutechip @theunquiet-dead @sleep-deprived-aroace @enternalempires @lilkymilky @woe-is-me0 @officiallydarkgeek @miyla-lokidottir @queencommonsense @demonicbusiness 

mb for not doing tag list right away i forgot i had these cued up already

[free-pancakes]

continuation of this famous!AU ask, aka the part 2 no one asked for :D

Levi stared back and forth between his phone and the little piece of paper in his hand. He bit his lip in hesitation. Perhaps she was just being nice—did she even want to see him again? Maybe she just wanted him to keep quiet about her hobby. That was fair, though. He wouldn’t reveal a secret she went to lengths to conceal, even if she did lie to him.

A knock woke him from his thoughts—he shoved the piece of paper into his pocket. “Come in.”

Erwin pushed through the door. “How was your week with Hange?”

Levi rolled his eyes.

“She was a goddamn handful, Erwin. I can’t believe you left me with such a mess,” he muttered, trying to cover up the fact that his heart was fluttering in his chest as he thought of Hange.

Erwin laughed to himself. “Sorry, Levi, I had that meeting about your upcoming tour.”

“Sure…”

He eyed Levi curiously, noticing him shifting in his seat, his fingers tapping nervously over his pants pocket. “…Well anyway, good news—we’ll have you touring over the next year. Your first concert we’ll be across the country, starting in May.”

“A whole year??” Levi gripped at his pocket tightly.

“Yeah, I thought that’s what we agreed on?”

Levi grunted and looked away. They had agreed on that. But that was before he met that weirdo…

He nodded, Erwin knowing he was heard and dismissed. He walked out of the room, but he took one peek back through the crack of the door. He stared at Levi, a hint of concern on his face.

“Hange really did him a number, huh,” he thought, and closed the door behind him quietly.

-------

Levi arrived home, placed his guitar case by the door, hung up his jacket, and plopped down on his couch. He pulled out the piece of paper again, fiddling with it. He took out his phone, swiping away the notifications from Mike—probably just a bunch of dumb memes.

He scrolled through his contacts to see the name “Four-Eyes” staring back him. He stared at the piece of paper again, her number scrawled on it, and a small note next to it, “Call me, Shorty!” He smiled, remembering the sound of her voice saying it to him before she left the room that day. He sighed and put the phone down. But as he stood up, a new notification from a number he didn’t recognize lit up on his phone.

Levi’s jaw dropped as he read the text: “Call her, she’s been waiting. Please, she won’t shut up about you and I can’t get any of my work done! Also, delete this when you read it, and please don’t text this number back. I won’t hear the end of it if she finds out I contact you.”

Levi stared, absolutely dumbfounded. He took note of the number in his planner, and deleted the text as asked. He took a deep breath, and pulled up her contact. Before he could change his mind, he clicked the green phone icon.

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

“Levi? Is that you? Oh I KNOW it’s you! You finally called!”

“Relax Four-Eyes.”

“Guess you wanted to sing with me, huh?? What took you so long to call me? Your schedule isn’t even busy!”

“Wait, how did you know my schedule was light this week?”

“Well yeah, stupid! Your schedule was plastered in most of the rooms in the studio. You seem free on Thursday, I’ll send you my location that afternoon. See you then!”

“Wait—“

Before Levi could say another word, she hung up. God she really is such a mess, but he strangely enjoyed it, for someone who liked to carefully plan things meticulously. It made his heart race.

-------

Thursday morning came. As he tried to figure out what button-up to wear, his phone lit up with a location, and a short text saying, “See you at 4!”. He grabbed his guitar case, threw on a hat and sunglasses in hopes that no fans would recognize him, and hopped into his car, driving off to meet her.

Once he arrived, he scanned the park, until he saw a messy ponytail sticking out the back of a green baseball cap. She was sitting on the pavement at the edge of the grass, looking over the ocean. He practically ran over to her, and poked her shoulder to make sure it was her. She looked up and smiled up at him—he could just make out her bright brown eyes through her tinted lenses.

“What did you want to play?” Levi asked, pulling his guitar out of the case.

“Surprise me! I know all of your songs, so…” she mentioned. He felt his heart jump in his chest to hear that she really did like his music. So he played one of his lesser known ones, just to test her.

“Oh, trying to quiz me here, huh Shorty?” She pinched his cheek, and laughed when he responded with a groan. Soon he began singing, and she joined him. She definitely knew all the words. Their voices blended beautifully, her brightness mixed with his darker tone. Levi felt the notes swell in his chest, ringing as it complemented hers, crinkling his nose every time she let out her sweet vibrato.

They sat and sang together for hours—the setting sun rays hugged around them like a warm blanket, the smell of grass and sea salt tickling their noses as they made music so sweet as though they’d been performing together for a long time. Levi’s heart felt so full, and he couldn’t remember the last time he felt this way.

Before they could slip into a whole extra hour of singing together, they noticed three people huddled together in the distance. “Do you see that, Hange?” Levi whispered. She looked over, and suddenly one of the three, a young brown-haired girl, exclaimed excitedly, “Is that… Hange Zoe?” Several heads turned towards them, as they tried to better hide their faces under their hats.

Another kid yelled out, “Hey isn’t that—“ “NOPE!” Hange yelled, interrupting the kid before he could say Levi’s name. She quickly picked up his guitar case as he hooked his guitar to his back by the strap. She smiled and grabbed his hand, and ran.

She sped along, dragging Levi behind her as he tried to make sure his hat didn’t fly off and reveal his identity. She laughed as she ran, and Levi found himself actually giggling behind her. They finally found themselves deep into a set of trees, bent over huffing and puffing from sprinting so fast.

“God, Hange… that was… close,” Levi said, out of breath. She slapped a hand on his back, almost causing him to fall over. “Thanks… for running… with me,” she said, also trying to catch her breath. At some point, they made eye contact again, and burst out into laughter.

“You sure you still want to keep this a secret?”

“What a secret?” she asked, tilting her head to the side with curiosity.

He paused. Oh God. He hope she didn’t think he meant seeing the two of them together. He meant just the whole secret about keeping her singing ability under wraps. “No, just you said you didn’t want anyone to know that you sang so well—“

She grinned, and playfully punched him in the shoulder. “I’m just kidding, Levi, don’t get your panties in a rut! I knew what you were referring to.”

She paused for a second. “But yeah, isn’t this so much more fun?”

“You think almost going into cardiac arrest sprinting away from being caught is… fun???”

“Yeah!”

Before Levi could lecture her about the thousand reasons why this should not be thought of as “fun”, she grabbed his hand once again, causing him to shut up on the spot.

“Come on, we’re actually at the bottom of my favorite trail. I want to show you something.” She pointed up the dirt path up a tall hill. He held her hand, focusing on how soft her skin felt under his fingertips, and stared at the dimples that formed on her cheeks every time she smiled at him.

“Okay.”

[pangolin-404]

the property of hate chapter 9 + 10 liveblog/thoughttime/somethingsomething I like the character design of this comic a lot

ALSO I’ve noticed a couple people rb-ing or replying to some earlier stuff so for uuuh this onward please don’t spoil anything, don’t explain anything at all even if you think it’s nothing, try not to tag characters whose names haven’t been revealed at that point (or wait a day before going back to it? so my notifs cycle through? idk if that’s too much to ask), and please keep memeing abt chars to a minimum, I like having no idea what’s going on lol (edit: I’ve finished reading wooo)

While this is a late thought, the time between readings made me start to wonder what ability Hero has to bring things to life. I’m assuming she brought Assok to life, based on how RGB worded it, and given his surprise, he’s surprised by her ability. I wonder what about Hero revived the tree.

I worry greatly for TOby; they’re way too close to the edge of that place for my liking. I also like the dead-eyed thousand yard stare they have 90% of the time

more rambling about designs here: The longer I look at Melody’s design the more it hurts my brain; the way she’s put together out of a million instruments, it’s taking me a while to get a visual on what’s analogous to a mouth, eyes, etc., it’s so cool. Also I realized RGB has never fully “shut” his “mouth” yet; there’s always at least some of the color bars showing. I wonder if he even can

I’m endeared by how, despite Hero’s conflicted feelings towards RGB, she still puts his hat back on. he keeps loosing his hat. do not separate them (both RGB and his hat and RGB and Hero)

I wonder how many people RGB’s gotten attached to who convinced him to try taking them home. I doubt anything good happened on those attempts.

I wish I knew what sheet music symbols meant so I can get a vibe on Melody’s tone on things. All I know is that f is Loud

melting over how RGB is knelt to speak at Hero’s level. ik it could be because the “ball and chain” brought him down but let me have this

going feral over this worldbuilding. the tree. the roots and flowers. the market??

Hero.., untying RGB because she’s worried,,,, AUAUAUAUAAAAA WAA

The force of the tone shift in this comic is so powerful. everything’s all happy and lighthearted and I Do Not Like how the waves or whatever swept Julienne and Melody away in pure silence

gonna set that weird little butterfly moth thing on fire. I don’t trust it. it can turn invisible apparently. Unsure if Hero knows it’s there or if it being close made her think about being wise and such. but while she doesn’t trust RGB (or fears Evil Twisted Twin RGB), she trusts everyone else. and she feels they trust him, even if RGB himself doesn’t believe that. her believing this ticks off the butterfly YEEAAAHH. brb catch me crying in the club

I just had a thought. I wonder if the butterfly moth thing is this “her” or an agent/familiar of hers. Hm.

-

Any critical thinking has gone out of the window RGB GLOWS RGB GLOWS RGB GLOWS UEAAUYAYEYEA YYAAAAEEAAAHH

love this logic where by making the area darker, she can see things in a new way. Hero can hear her own heartbeat so loudly. I don’t think RGB can do this same thing; he doesn’t glow like her (doesn’t even have ears!); and is one of the dullest things there. love her face in this scene. going :D at everything

the way RGB appears in this is so odd. In some panels it looks like there’s a whitish glow in his chest, and in others he seems scratchier, darker. He knows something about Assok; starting to think he didn’t just deduct that when figuring out the tree (or if I knew all that beforehand).

So: A burning light masks itself to protect the world. A voice reveals the world would hate and fear it without the mask. The light shatters its mask. Here, RGB says the sun broke - is the sun the mask? Whichever, 5 trees fell: one fell into a wasteland, one drowned, one sank into a mire, one turned to ice, and the fifth was lost forever.

Tied together by darkness, the forests lifted the sea up to extinguish the fire. The sea of Limen is still there, in case the sky ever catches blaze again, to provide shelter and safety.

Hero, upon hearing of what sounds a lot like a prophecy/start up to a hero’s journey: So we go free the other 4 trees, right? RGB: HA. YOU FOOLISH CHILD, WE ARE SO WEAK COMPARED TO THE TREES. WE COULD NEVER HOPE TO DO SUCH THING. In fact whatever powerful force trapped it in the first place freed it with intent to set us on fire! Hero: oh

I’m going to lose my mind. staring at this image so hard. osmosing the raw power these characters give off they are all perfect in every way. that snake, that bird in the corner, that wiggle giraffe amargasaur thing, that boney bird-fear lookin thing back there, the thing with the snazzy tassels, I am losing it

I will not lose my mind over another object head I will not loose my mind over another object head I will not lose my mind over another object head I will not lose my mind over another object head I will not lose me mind over another object h

all of these character designs are right up my alley.

amazing. incredible. I’ve been staring at these panels for 8 hours now

anyways

uuuh right ending thoughts time: that story is definitely going to return later; I think the other trees have a good chance of showing up, as is that creepy butterfly moth thing, uuuUUUuuh gonna stare at these panels some more goodbye

[sub-hoshi-enthusiast]

I’m back with another idea!!😆😆 could you do sth like overstim/degradation with a hint of manhandling for Hyunjin or Changbin?? Plz and thank you❤️❤️

I know that this one took awhile so I'm sorry for the long wait but I hope you like it! I decided to write it for Changbin since I haven't written anything for him yet and I already have something for Hyunjin.

⚠️Warnings⚠️: sub!Changbin, fem!dom!reader, mommy kink, degradation, overstimulation, a hint of manhandling, use of toys (vibrating plug), masturbation, and a lil bit of spanking.

See You at Home~

If you could use one word to describe yourself in this moment, it would be bored. Very bored. You had finished up everything you needed to do for the day and most everything you needed for tomorrow. Even so, you still had to sit in a boring, empty, office, waiting for someone to finish doing some paperwork to run up to you. The room itself was nice and spacious with a large window as the back wall so you had the perfect view of the city as well as a small wall of books (one that you had specifically requested to be put in). For some reason though, you just didn't feel like reading today, so you decided to watch some interviews of your boyfriend and his bandmates instead. 

     You were giggling at a random comment when a texting notification popped up on your screen. You smiled to yourself as you saw who it was. Speak of the devil. You had forgotten that Changbin was free for the day so you didn't text him, thinking you wouldn't get a reply. You tilted your head in slight confusion as you saw what he had sent you. It was a video that was about a minute long, sent with the simple message 'Make sure you're wearing headphones ;)'. The  thumbnail was just a black screen so you couldn't tell what it was about.

     You opened one of your desk drawers, pulling out a pair of headphones and plugging them into your phone. A few seconds into the video and your mouth went dry as a whimper filled your ears. He was face down in your bedsheets, facing the camera with his ass in the air. He had moved your body mirror so you could clearly see the vibrating buttplug he had shoved in his hole. One hand was desperately clutching the sheets next to him as the other pumped his cock, which you also noticed had a cockring around it. He was whimpering and whining into the mic, making arousal shoot through your body at the submissive sounds that flooded your ears. 

     "M-mommy~! Ngh- I missed you s-so much. I've been teasing myself for s-o long so I could be hard for you when y-you got home, but…" his words trailed off as he bit his already swollen lips. "I really wanna cum mommy! A-ah- it just feels too damn good!" You gripped your phone harder, knuckles turning white as you stare intently at the screen. He sat up, whimpering as the plug pushed deeper inside of him from the action and slowly removed the cockring. As soon as the object had been removed, he began stroking his cock at a much faster pace than he had before. "AH! Ohh- I've been thinking about you all day mommy! T-thinking about you p-pounding me into the mattress as I scr-eam for you! Oh god! Want you to t-tie me up and use me! Use me like I'm your own personal t-toy! Ngh- Oh god! - Cum! Cumming! G-gonna - A-AH!" You bit your lip as you watched his body tense up before thick ropes of white covered his hand and his stomach. He slowed down his strokes before stopping completely, giggling cutely as he grabbed the remote for the plug to turn it off. "See ya at home mommy~." He said before blowing a kissing to the camera and the screen went black.

     You stared blankly at the screen in front of you for a few minutes, clutching it tightly as thousands of thoughts clouded your mind. You snapped back to reality after you heard a small knock on the wooden doors to your office. You took out your earbuds, setting your phone down as you called for whoever it was to enter. Your secretary opened the door, arms full of paperwork. With the files secure in your office, that was your que to leave. 

-

     Changbin was standing in the kitchen, heating up popcorn for your weekly movie night when you walked in. The door slammed behind you, making him jump in surprise. A wide grin spread across his face as soon as he saw you, shuttering as he saw the dark look in your eyes.

     "Welcome home mommy! I was just working on-" He cut himself off with a quiet gasp as you slammed him against the counter, his back digging into the marble as you pressed your body to his.

     "What the hell was that? Did you think you were being cute?" You asked in a deep, raspy voice that you knew he loved. He shyly looked to the floor, the tips of his ears turning a bright red.

     "I-I'm sorry mommy." He claimed, but you could see the small smile making its way onto his face. You gripped his thighs tightly, making him whimper. You quickly spun him around, gripping his hair tightly and bending him over. He whined loudly, squirming in your grip as you landed a harsh slap to his ass. You pulled down his pants and boxers, ready to spank him again when you noticed something. Anger flared in you as you saw that he was still wearing the plug from the video. You yanked his head up by his hair so you could growl in his ear.

     "So this is how it's gonna be, huh? What the hell has gotten into you? Usually you're so good for me Binnie, what happened?" He bit his lip with a whimper, turning his eyes to look at you.

     "I-I - It's just - you haven't fucked me in so long! I just wanted to get mommy's attention." He whined out, squirming in your grip. You scoffed at his answer. He was kidding right?

     "If I remember correctly baby, I fucked you a little over a week ago, didn't I? Are you really such a filthy cockslut you can't go that long without mommy's cock pounding into you?" He moaned, grinding his hips back into yours.

     "Y-yes mommy! I-I'm such a slut for you! I can't live without mommy's cock destroying me! Please mommy~!" Your hand that wasn't in his hair gripped his hip tightly to stop them from grinding into you, making him whine. You pushed his head down so his cheek was pressed against the cold countertop.

     "I'm gonna go grab something, so don't move or I'm not gonna even think about touching you." He whined in slight aggravation as you disappeared but stayed still nonetheless. You weren't surprised to see most of your toys laid out on the bed already. You rolled your eyes, picking up the control for the plug, taking your time with putting away the other toys your boyfriend had laid out. You smiled once you had entered, happy to see Changbin still bent over the counter where you left him.

     "So you can listen?" He nodded enthusiastically, turning to look at you.

     "Wanna be a good boy for mommy." You had to hold back from laughing at his statement.

     "I think it's too late for that baby." You hummed, twirling the remote in your hand before turning it to the lowest setting. Changbin shuttered, whimpering at the sensation. You smirked at his reaction, pushing his thin t-shirt farther up his back so you could press open mouthed kisses up his spine. You bit down on the base of his spine, leaving a mark as you reached for the ring at the base of the plug. A loud whine left his lips when you pulled it out slightly, but was immediately followed by a gasp as you harshly thrusted it back into him. Submissive noises continued to flow from his lips as you harshly thrusted the plug in and out of him. He suddenly let out a loud gasp followed by a high pitched moan.

     "O-Oh fuck! Mommy! R-right there!" He whimpered as his arms reached out to grab anything, eventually deciding on gripping the opposite edge of the counter. You smirked down at him, chuckling at his disheveled state.

     "What's the matter Binnie? You were so confident in your little video earlier, so what's the problem?" He whined, squirming against the counter as his thighs started to shake from how close he was to his release. 

     "I-I'm sorry m-mommy! I- AH - I-I really am! Mommy! I w-wanna cum! N-need to cum so bad!" You raised your eyebrow, scoffing at his statement. 

     "You need to? But you came earlier, didn't you? I remember you cumming all over my sheets like a filthy slut because you couldn't wait for me to get home." You growled down at him, digging your nails into the flesh of his hips. He whimpered loudly, trying to grind back into the toy.

     "Please mommy! I-I'll be good for you from now on! Promise!" He whined, turning his head so he could look back at you with a pleading look in his eyes. You rolled your eyes before smirking and moving your other hand to play with his tip. You leaned over him so you could whisper in his ear. 

     "Go ahead baby, cum for mommy." He came while a mantra of 'thank you's left him. He let out a breath of exhaustion before whimpering once your hands didn't slow their movements. His eyes widened in realization.

     "W-wait, mommy!" He whined, squirming to get away from your hands. You removed your hand from his dick to spank him once, making him whimper.

     "Stay still. I thought you said you were gonna be a good boy for mommy." His whimpers turned to loud moans as the pain from the overstimulation drifted into pleasure. You snickered when you noticed him grinding back into your hands. "I thought you wanted me to stop, baby." He shook his head violently, whimpering as he felt a knot build up in his belly.

     "D-don't stop! Please d-don't stop! F-feels so good!" You leaned over him again, pressing your breasts to his back as you bit and sucked marks onto his neck. He was so focused on the pleasure he was receiving, he didn't notice that you moved one of your hands until he felt the vibrations from the plug suddenly shoot up. You smirked at his surprised gasps and whines as you switched the plug to max, stopping the thrusts to press it directly against his prostate. He babbled incoherently as the pleasure overtook his body, his sudden orgasm hitting him hard. His jaw fell open in a silent moan as his release covered the underside of the counter. You pressed the plug into him harder, making another spurt of cum shoot out of his tip before turning the toy off and carefully pulling it out of him. You removed his shirt so you could clean up the counter before pulling his pants and boxers the rest of the way off so you could clean them later.

     His body twitched slightly when you removed the plug. His mind was fuzzy and he couldn't even think about where he was until he felt his warm sheets around him. He hadn't even realized you had cleaned him up and moved him to the bedroom. You smiled at him, pushing some of his hair out of his face before bringing him into a sweet kiss. He smiled against your lips, pushing himself as close to you as he could. You cupped his face in your hands as you pulled away to look at him.

     "Are you alright baby?" He smiled at your concern before nodding, burying his face in your neck.

     "I'm fine." You let out a small sigh of relief as you pulled him closer to you.

     "Good. You can always tell me if I go too far y'know. I don't want to hurt you too bad." He looked up at you, pressing a few kisses to your jawline. 

     "I know you would never hurt me like that. I trust you." He mumbled. Your heart warmed at his statement and you kissed the top of his head.

     "I love you baby." All you got in return was a quiet snore, making you giggle before closing your eyes and drifting to sleep.

[blu-joons]

He’s A Single Dad ~ Park Jimin

His eyes watched on as the viewer count grew, fans quickly hurried to click on their notification when they saw BTS went live. He was alone at home, his daughter was fast asleep in bed, the house was silent, the perfect time to take some time for himself and speak to all the fans. The first few moments were always quiet, but the questions still began to flood in.

“Hello,” he waved, brushing his hands through his messy black hair, “how are we all doing?”

Responses soon came, most of them positive, but a few mentions of hard days which brought a frown to his face, he’d had a bad enough day himself, this was the one thing he could rely on to try and cheer himself back up.

“I’m Jimin from BTS,” he chuckled, his introduction never really changed, he still liked to introduce himself as if people were watching him for the first time.

The rise to stardom the band had carried him on was something he was never quite able to come to terms with, he never imagined he’d be selling out stages, meeting thousands of fans, all with his daughter at home, building a future for her.

The usual questions about his daughter soon began to appear, the fans loved to see her and interact with her, she loved all the attention she received from them too, the smile on her face whenever a fan would speak to her when she was with Jimin made her happy.

“Y/D/N’s sleeping,” he answered them all, giggling as the screen then filled with emojis of sad faces, and requests for him to go and get her anyway so that she could feature. “I’m not going to go and wake her up, it was hard enough to get her off to sleep tonight.”

He sighed heavily, resting his head in his hands, the fans could quickly tell that something was wrong, perhaps being live wasn’t the best place for him to be right now, they could tell that there was something playing on his mind.

The concern of the fans in the comments eased him a little, through all of his troubles, the fans were a permanent fixture who could help him when he was sad.

“She’s been missing her mum a bit today and I’ve not really known how to cope,” he finally began to tell them, “she has good days and bad days when she struggles to understand why she’s different.”

The fans loosely knew about his situation at home, he was private for the sake of his daughter about her life, he didn’t want fans to intrude, or for fans opinions to change on you, they knew one day you disappeared, but it was always too hard for him to be entirely honest.

“Trying to explain death to a three-year-old is hard,” he then added.

He hadn’t quite realised what he’d said until the comments filled with mentions of your name, figuring out finally what it was that had happened to you. It was hard for him to fight back his tears as demands of the truth filled on the screen, for so long fans had blamed you for running out on your family, when all along this wasn’t the case.

“I’ve never really wanted to speak about it because it’s quite a private matter for us as a family but seeing as I’ve just ending up telling you all anyway, I might as well explain properly. Y/N was ill for quite some time, Y/D/N was still so young, and losing her terrified me. I didn’t want to be a single father, because I didn’t think I was capable of it.”

The first day without you in his life will always be the hardest day of his life, not having you there to help him with breakfast or show him how to use the washing machine, he had no idea what to do, and a demanding toddler by his side trying to figure out where her mum had gone.

“It’s still so raw for me to deal with the fact that Y/N isn’t around anymore, my heart still misses her greatly, she’s someone in my life who will never be replaced, no matter how hard I try. I wish that things could have been different for our family.”

The comments he received brought him great comfort, a slight smile appeared on his face as the fans assured him that they would all be there for him and support him.

The long days were always the hardest, like today, trying to answer her questions the best he could without breaking her heart. One day he’d have to have a conversation with her, but now wasn’t the time, she wouldn’t understand what was going on around her just yet.

“Any of you who have lost someone close to you will understand how it feels,” he whispered, “I miss having someone with me to support me, especially in parenting, I’m forever doubting myself that I’m doing the wrong thing. I’ve always got a firm eye on her because I’m too scared that if I do something, I’ll end up letting Y/N down.”

He’d left you with a promise that he would take the best care of your little girl, that was what scared you the most, leaving your daughter without a mother, but Jimin assured you that he’d try and fill the void that you’d leave behind.

“Sometimes it’s hard to know if you’re doing the right thing.”

Beside him, his phone buzzed, he looked down to see a text from Taehyung telling him he was watching the stream and would be on his way over as soon as Jimin was finished.

The boys were the greatest support he had throughout this time, he would have never been able to get through things so well without them all encouraging him and making sure that he remained positive for his girl’s sake.

“My bandmates are just incredible, Taehyung just text me to tell me that he’s on his way over soon and I really need to see him today, I’m very lucky to have such a great support network around me, when I know so many people aren’t anywhere near as lucky as I am.”

He thought back, remembering his front door was unlocked, Taehyung could walk straight in when he arrived, which Jimin knew would be soon.

“I hope that all of you will continue to be there for the two of us through all of this, it’s hard trying to balance everything, and sometimes I might be tired at concerts, but I’m trying hard for you all, and my family, one day I’ll be able to do it all.”

As he finished talking, he heard the front door slam shut, Taehyung padded up the stairs, smiling across at his best friend, walking into the room, sitting beside him on the stream. “Hello army,” he waved, resting his hand on Jimin’s shoulder.

“I think I might end this stream now, and spend some time with my brother, and speak to you all soon,” he whispered, reaching across to turn the camera off.

As soon as the camera went off, Taehyung’s arms wrapped around Jimin, he knew how hard this was on him, and how brave he’d been through it all.

“You did a good job Chim, Y/N would be so proud of you and what you’re doing.”

“I hope she would be too.”

---

Masterlist

[theblossomangels]

dream.

summary ⟶ Jay thinks that he is being ridiculous, dreaming about his girlfriend on stage as he was performing.

timeline ⟶ August 2019

characters : Jaebeom (Jay Park), H1GHER Music crew

warning ⟶ none.

❝ No you’re not. My girlfriend wears her business clothes. ❞

Jay looks at his reflection on the mirror, fixing his white shirt and his jeans before taking his phone and snapping multiple pictures, sending to his special someone.

Jay

How do I look?

In just a minute, Jay’s phone made a sound, indicates that he received a message as he quickly takes his phone, already seeing the contact name on his phone screen.

His smile grew wider.

baby hayeon 💕

Omg! Is that the shirt that was made by Blazed? It looks good! Especially when it’s on you! 😊

Jay was about to reply when Hayeon called him and he immediately answered her.

“Hell--

“JAY! OMG! It looks so good! How much is it?!? I hope they are selling it! I’m so gonna support them and buy a couple of it! I’ll probably ask Eunjae to buy a dozen too! Does it come in--

“Hey hey! Babe! Calm down.. Relax..”

“Hehe! I’m sorry! I think I drank too many cups of coffee!”

“Hey, I told you not to drink too much.. It can ruin your health if you drink too much, baby.”

“I’ll try to cut down, just for you okay? Anyways, are Blazed selling the t-shirts? I’m seriously interested on buying it!”

“Baby.. You don’t need to buy it.”

“What?! Why not!? Aren’t you guys not selling it? Aww man..”

“Hayeon. The reason why you don’t have to buy it which is because I already pre-ordered it for you and in about 2 days, I think it will arrive at your door in LA.. by today or tomorrow??”

“......WHAT!? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!! YAH! PARK JAEBEOM!”

Jay quickly distance his phone away from his ear, hearing the screaming on the other end of the receiver.

“What are you screaming for!?!?!”

Jay could hear his girlfriend sighing.

“Baby, you do know that you literally sent me like more than 100 stuffs in just a year?”

“We already talk about this and I will keep saying it even if it’s for a thousand times. You deserve it, baby.”

“But--

“No buts, baby. I hope you’ll like it. I can’t remember what I ordered but there are like a few versions of it. Oh! There’s like the ph-1 version, then there’s like the blaze summer edition version, the flame version and others that I can’t remember.”

“....That’s not a few, Jay.”

Jay chuckled to hear Hayeon’s straightforward tone, his laughter trails off.

“I honestly miss you, Hayeon-ah.”

Jay wasn’t kidding, he really did miss her.

He couldn’t believe that he could survive a long distant relationship.

Each day, Jay would call her without fail. Even if either one of them missed the calls, they will return the call and one of them would answer without needing to call again.

Because of Hayeon’s line of work, Jay couldn’t regularly see Hayeon although they were like in the same state.

Jay knew that one day he couldn’t resist of holding onto the feeling so he decided to flew out to L.A. just to see her, and he gets to spent the night with Hayeon intimately.

Since then, Jay was even more clingy to Hayeon, calling her each night. He even drunk called her causing Hayeon to laugh hysterically.

“I know. I miss you too, baby.”

“I hope you will come back home soon.”

Jay’s voice became softer as he muttered while looking at the door to see staff running here and there knowing the concert was starting soon.

“Baby, I have to go up stage soon.”

“Oh.. Good luck Jay! And have fun too! Don’t get too drunk!”

“Thank you baby, I’ll call you as soon as the concert ends. Love you!”

“Love you too, Jay! Byeeee!”

The call ended with Jay smiling widely, as he quickly checks himself out at the mirror before stepping out of his waiting room, seeing his other H1GHER members coming out of their waiting room.

Just as Jay was about to approach the others, his phone suddenly lit up with a notification sound and he knew who it was.

baby hayeon 💕

Hey Jay. I hope you are not on stage yet but just wanna say GOOD LUCK AND HAVE FUN BABY! GO ALL OUT FOR YOUR FANS not all till you lose yourself okay? HAVE FUN WITH THE H1GHER GANG AND DO NOT DRINK TOO MUCH TILL U DRUNK CALL ME AGAIN MOANING MY NAME AND SAYING SEXUAL STUFF! its cute but seriously not in public okay i’m out of track but all I’m saying is have fun safely okay Jay? I have to go back to work soon 😔 and once again, good luck Jaebeom. I love you 💋💞💓💘 💖 💝💞

Jay smiled softly as he quickly replied her, before joining the rest of the gang.

Jay

I love you so much, baby.

Jay didn’t know if he is drunk or he is dreaming.

It is ridiculous that he is dreaming of Hayeon as he performs on stage, his eyes were scanning through his fans, him hoping to see the one he wanted to see.

But he knew his hope was just a little one, knowing Hayeon wouldn’t fly back to Korea just to see him performing for the concert launch of his clothing line that his company collaborated with

Hayeon wouldn’t come just for this, her work is too heavy.

Jay smiled a little as he shifted his gaze towards his friends who was enjoying themselves on stage.

Some of them were taking pictures with the fans, at the same time rapping their hearts out.

“Hyung, hyung!” Minsik came running towards Jay, his face leaning towards Jay’s ears.

“I think I saw Hayeon.” whispered Minsik and Jay pull away, looking at the younger one with a deep frown.

Jay knew that Minsik won’t joke about this topic because Minsik is in the same boat as him.

Their girlfriends are best friends, more like sisters.

Jay looked at the younger one, checking if he is drunk since Jay saw him drinking a few shots.

But Minsik didn’t look drunk.

“I think you are going to be drunk, Minsik.” commented Jay and Minsik shakes his head, looking at Jay seriously for the first time.

“Hyung, I’m serious.” answered Minsik and Jay looked towards the crowd of fans, his eyes moving the front, scanning the fans faces.

Jay’s eyes moved towards the back and his eyes slowly widen.

No, it can’t be.

Jay sees Hayeon standing in the middle of the crowd with a smile on her face, seeing her wearing the white blazed design shirt, he just told her that he pre-ordered it for her.

No way...

His eyed then turned towards Minsik.

“You must be really drunk, Minsik-ah.. C’mon..” Jay dragged the younger one away as his eyes turned towards where Hayeon was standing at.

Hayeon wasn’t there.

“Oh no... Our CEO is drunk..”

“Really drunk..”

“Hyung! You’re being too close!”

By the end of the performances, Jay was already too drunk and he was clinging to Harry and Minsik.

“Should we bring him back to the hotel?”

“No..... I wanna see Hayeonnie...” Jay slurred, then letting out a giggle causing Minsik to scoff, followed by the others.

Jay never mentions about his girlfriend whenever his label mates were there since their relationship is a secret to the public, except for his close friends and the people he works with.

Almost all of them knew about Jay and Hayeon’s relationship, because he was being too obvious.

Jay always had his hands on Hayeon whenever and wherever they go and when some of them confronted him about it, he decided to just come clean, saying he is in a relationship with Hayeon since 2-3 months ago.

“We all know clingy Jay hyung is hard to manage..” Jaewook commented as Jay was wrapping his arms around him, his head laying on Jaewook’s shoulder.

“Yah! Stop laughing and help me!” Jaewook whines towards the others who were trying not to stifle their giggles while recording their CEO who is acting cute and just clingy while mumbling english words that some of them couldn’t understand.

“Hyung! Hyung! Hey! We really sh--

Junwon’s words were cut off as his eyes were traveled towards elsewhere.

Although his sight wasn’t clear thanks to people dancing here and there, the dim lights and the neon lights flashing, his smile grew wider, causing the other H1GHER crew to look which direction he was gazing at.

“Noona!” Haon yelled, waving his hands.

Some of the H1GHER crew turns shy as soon as they see Hayeon, waving towards them before gazing towards jay who was clinging onto Minsik.

“Oh my god. He is so wasted.” Hayeon muttered, her gaze was fromthe rounded table that filled with bottles of beers, and all kinds of alcohol bottles and shot glasses.

“Hey! When did you get here and how did you come here?” asked Hwimin before hugging Hayeon.

“Jay hyung didn’t tell us about your arrival.” added Gyujeong and the others nodded, looking at the girl who was staring at Jay.

Jay saw her but he didn’t even turn directly towards her.

“An hour ago. It’s a surprise visit that I planned with Jay’s manager. I don’t think he recognize me..” commented Hayeon, peering onto Jay who was now cuddling Minsik.

Minsik looks extremely uncomfortable.

“Hayeon, d-do something..” Minsik pleaded, his words cause some of the H1GHER crew to laugh.

Hayeon sat beside the drunk Jay.

“Jay--

“Don’t touch me! I have a girlfriend!” Jay whines as he swats Hayeon’s hands away from him.

Her eyes slowly widen, looking towards Minsik and to the others.

“Oh my god. Our Jay hyung has change.” Hwimin commented at the back and Hayeon slightly smirked towards him.

It was the best opportunity for Hayeon to mess with him since Jay is completely drunk and she knew that he won’t even remember anything the next day.

“C’mon Jay. Your girlfriend isn’t here. Let’s have fun!” Hayeon sweet talk towards him while pulling his hand.

Jay groan as he tightly cling onto Minsik.

“No! I don’t want to! I said I already have a girlfriend! Leave me alone!” Jay whines grumpily.

Hayeon tried her best not to laugh or break her acting.

“Aww, c’mon Jay. Your girlfriend won’t know about this. It’s just a while..” said Hayeon sweetly, pulling Jay softly.

The older one turned towards Hayeon.

For a moment, Jay was staring at her causing Hayeon to freeze as he was gazing at her in the eye. She could feel her heart beating a little fast.

The way he looks at her is adorable.

Jay’s face was so red and his eyes were droopy thanks to how many bottles of alcohol he drank.

“I’m sorry.. I have a girlfriend.. She will be disappointed if I’m with you.. She’s my world.. I love Hayeon.. I’m not the old Jay..” Jay was already slurring his words, his eyes becoming droopy.

Hayeon could feel the others grinning towards her because Minsik was covering his mouth, trying not to giggle.

“Okay. I’ll just sit here then.”

As cheesy as it is, Hayeon can’t help but to let out a small smile, nodding as she let go of his arms.

Jay slowly turned towards her with a slight frown.

“But.. why do you smell like her?” Jay mumbled as he was sniffing Hayeon’s side.

The others could only giggle while still recording their drunk CEO.

“That’s because I am your girlfriend..?” stated Hayeon in a questioning tone. Jay frowns as he looks at Hayeon upand down.

“No, you’re not. My girlfriend wears her business clothes.”

“Jay, I don’t always wear my business formal wear everywhere.” answered Hayeon, turning towards him with a slight frown.

This time, Jay’s cheeks turned rosy though his face was already red as he quickly looks away from Hayeon.

His gaze turned towards Minsik.

“Minsik-ah, can you please tell her to go away? Hayeonnie is going to be mad at me if she founds out a girl is flirting with me.” Jay whines towards Minsik, as the younger one sticks out his head towards Hayeon, looking at her for help.

Hayeon could only giggle, shrugging as she turned towards the others who were still recording her and Jay’s interaction.

“I guess I’ll just stay and baby-sit you guys.”

“What?!? We don’t need to be baby-sit!”

“Yeah! We’re adults!”

“Jay hyung is the one who needs to be baby-sit!”

Hayeon intends to bring Jay back to his hotel but seeing how determined Jay look on staying with Minsik, saying he didn’t want to cheat or betray his girlfriend behind her back, Hayeon could only watch him with a smile on her face.

[prose-for-hire]

My babysitter’s in love with a vampire

 Pairing: Spike x chubby!reader or Dracula x chubby!reader

Request: you are spending the night with dawn and then you see all the likes she has on her facebook pics and you get insecure about your weight and then spike swoops in and saves the day? something like that? or hell instead of spike make it Dracula. im feeling rebelious with my request lmao

Requested by: @lilacprincessofrecovery​ - sorry about the wait love 💜

Warning: Insecure reader. Weight mention. Low self confidence.

A/N: Right, so, I’ve been enjoying the interactive element I’ve been using (I hope you have too) and this one’s gonna be little different. You can choose Spike or Dracula (the one that appears in Buffy or one of your choosing if the characterisation fits). Kinda modern au I guess (smart phones/facebook/etc). Reader doesn’t get much love online, but there’s no hate more of an absence of like(s).

You were babysitting. Not to say that you and Dawn weren’t friends, she wasn’t even that much younger than you, it’s just her older sister was very protective. You had been in school with Buffy and you understood - It was just the two of them now, so you had offered good rates to Buffy so she could go out and do whatever it was she needed to do all night while you kept Dawn company. You didn’t judge and you didn’t feel the need to demand to know where she went all night – it wasn’t any of your business.

Now, you were aware of the supernatural element in your town. But you didn’t realise that Buffy and Dawn did too. You all skirted around the subject, trying to avoid mentioning it to each other as much as you could.

You had both been watching a movie when she had excused herself to the bathroom. But she had been a really long time so you went to check she wasn’t feeling sick or anything. When you got upstairs, you saw through the ajar door that Dawn was now in her room taking pictures of herself.

Dawn enjoyed taking selfies and posting them online and she sat on the edge of her bed as you walked in as she was constantly refreshing the page as the likes and comments rolled in. Her most recent picture having brought over 100 likes on her picture so far. This made her bounce around with glee, finally getting the attention she had been craving herself. Who knew all she had to do was take a mirror selfie?

She gushed about all of the praise she was getting and excitedly showed you, waiting for you to shower her with more compliments. But you had gone quiet, thinking of your own page. You barely posted and when you did, you would be lucky to get even a quarter of the likes Dawn would get. Dawn was blissfully unaware of your insecurity. She presumed you weren’t bothered about that kind of thing. She thought you were so cool, so hadn’t even considered that you wouldn’t have as many likes on the app or even mind about it.

She had noticed that you were quiet so she had tried to make you take a picture with her to post on your page. So that you could both show the world that you were spending another Saturday in watching the same option of movies. You let her take the pictures, you smiled and tried not to stare too long at your face beside Dawn’s on the pictures she saved and then sent to your phone. 

After you opened the message and looked at the pictures again, you knew you wouldn’t be posting them. Dawn was confused and a little hurt when you refused to post the pictures, embarrassed over the number of likes (or lack thereof) you knew you would get.

You went quiet as Dawn kept hounding you to post them, missing that you were growing more and more upset. She just kept pushing the matter, she had never been exactly tactful. But it started to really upset you, to even have to admit the growing insecurity that was under the surface, never quite properly hidden.

Dawn finally noticed that you were not in the same good mood you were in earlier. But it was too late, you had started to feel the prickle behind your eyes. The lump growing in your throat. You got up, rushing for the door as Dawn stood up and watched worriedly.

“I-I just need some air”

“You can’t go out- it’s dark-!” Dawn called, but you shook your head and she say the stake concealed in your pocket. Her eyes widened and she just nodded. You were too upset to acknowledge what had just happened. Instead, you just ran off, leaving the younger girl frowning after you before getting distracted by her phone buzzing rapidly with notifications after her recent post had been found by the masses.

You ran out of the front door, your eyes streaming with tears as you just need to get out of there. As if you could run away from the hopeless feeling of not being good enough.

Dracula:

He had been watching you for a while, he had been interested in you after a single glance several nights ago. He had kept a distance, watching and waiting. He could feel that you were going to be the one. The beauty that your face possessed had enchanted him in a way that he was only used to holding over others. Your frame was larger, but that merely meant that there was more of you for him to be enraptured by. More of you for him to worship should you accept his offer. And he had no doubt that you would accept his offer, his love was yours.

You ran past him, hiding under the large tree that loomed above the Summer’s residence. You sat, curling your plump frame up as small as possible as you wept. His eyes never left you as he glided towards you, as if walking on air. He moved his head, unsure as to who could affect you this much. He wanted to tear them to the ground, make them grovel at your feet.

“Your eyes… they cry with the tears of a thousand waterfalls and yet you do not see your power” He said, his voice strong and commanding of everything in the vicinity. He held his hand out and turned it upwards as if to offer you his hand. As he did, you find yourself rising to your feet, still sniffling slightly.

“Who-who are you?” you stutter. Why would this beautiful man give you the time of day (or, night as the case may be).

“Dracula” He stated with such confidence you would never question it. You were drawn to him instantly. But you had been rendered speechless in his presence, “What is the matter, my love?” The affectionate term, although you had never formally met, felt so right. So soothing and it made your tears slowly dry up and regulate your breathing. You reached for his hand that was still outstretched waiting for your touch. Demanding to feel the warmth of your hand in his. Your hand slipped into his so easily, as if they were made for each other. He leaned in, moving your hand towards his lips. You closed your eyes as his lips contacted your hand.

He straightened up slowly and asked you, without once opening his mouth, for you to explain. To reveal why you were so sad. He wanted to put it right any way that he could. He wanted to show you the vision he saw before him.

“I’m- nobody likes me- not the way they like, well, my friend” You admitted, knowing he wouldn’t know who Dawn was. His eyes bored into yours and you felt completely seen for what felt like the first time in your life. He frowned, not aware of such popularity contests that were now evidently so important to the modern world, “It’s all about how many likes you get. How popular you are… and I’m j-just fat”

He shook his head slightly at this, you were not ‘just’ anything to him. Your form rendered him full of awe. Your plus-sized figure the epitome of beauty to him. He had seen you outside after dark leaving a young gentleman who had not been kind to you after a date. Your features had been upturned and it had taken all of his strength not to turn into his other form and follow you home. Instead, he would take care of the man that had hurt you. 

“Your figure fills my vision with the light of the golden sun that I cannot cast my eyes upon… you are radiant beyond compare” He spoke, rather than dwelling on such an insignificant human. He willed you to feel it and you did.

“Look into my eyes and see as I do” He rested his hand against the side of your face, a feather-light touch. His thumb stroked softly along your cheek. His eyes scanning over your face, as if to learn every inch, every quirk of your expression. He wanted to know what every look meant. What every tear told him. You closed your eyes as you allowed yourself to accept his sentiment. Accept that he saw you in this way. There was something deep within that told you he meant every word so intimately.

“Your beauty is beyond this realm, my dear…” He continued, “Please. Join me”

“D-do you really mean it? About someone like me?” You whispered, having to confirm once more.

“Join me, an eternity awaits” He asked, an edge that almost sounded pleading. Although the change in tone would only ever be evident to you. You nodded as he took your hand. You walked away into the night together, knowing there was no thrall. You felt affection. Love.

You wished you could show him even a fraction of the affection and comfort he had laid upon you tonight. As you wished this, he felt it and he knew that time would show him of what he was already sure of. 

Spike:

He had been smoking a few streets away, stalking to get to that tree outside of the summer’s residence. He had adopted that place as his own, you were always spending time there and so he had taken to waiting for you – especially if you weren’t staying over than night. He always waited, watching from the shadows. He wanted to make sure that you were safe, that he could be convinced no harm would come to you. He had long since admitted his feelings for you to himself, he was just trying to formulate a way to tell you of this.

You ran past him, in floods of tears. He rounded back on himself, following you straight away flicking his cigarette into the night. His heart crumbling to see you upset in this way. He caught up with your shapely form, a gentle hand on your upper arm that you looked down at through blurry eyes. You turned, facing his caring eyes. this expression you had to tell yourself couldn’t possibly be the love you wished it was. His eyes boring into yours with so much concern it almost made you cry harder.

“S-Spike?” You frowned, unsure if you had just been imagining it. He had been exactly who you would imagine to be there for you and you were amazed to see him there when you turned. 

“Love, what is it…?” He asked, his voice almost cracking with emotion, “Is there anything I can do?” he wanted to hurt whoever had hurt you this way. Make them pay in all of the worst ways possible. To drink from their skull. He wanted to put it right any way that he could.

“I’m- nobody likes me- not the way they like Dawn” You sniffed, wiping your eyes again, “It’s all about how many likes you get. How popular you are… and I’m j-just fat” You sighed, gesturing to the app that was still open on your phone. His eyes widened in shock, his jaw tensing. He glared at the phone, mad at it for being the reason for your tears. 

How could you ever think that? How could you even talk of yourself that way?

“Don’t be bloody ridiculous!” His voice raising slightly, “You… you really think that makes any difference?” he cocked his head to the side, studying your expression closely. He started to reach his hand, wanting to touch your face, but he swiftly moved his hand and looked away as you looked back to him.

“What?”

“You’re bloody beautiful, y/n. Ever since I met you, I’ve wanted you. Been sodding obsessed with you…” he admitted, his words so honest you almost wept further. You just stared, not believing he could feel the same way you did for him. Your silence made him continue, “So what if you don’t get likes on that stupid bloody face-app-thing? All that counts is the people that matter… and, well, I hope I matter to you love. ‘Cause you really do to me” he insisted. His eyes pleading you to listen to his words. Every syllable the most honest he had been since he first met you. He had longed to say these words. Had long, lonely days or little sleep imagining you by his side. In his arms. 

 “But how could you... about someone like me?” You gestured at yourself and he shook his head with such vigour, as if he could shake these thoughts from your mind in the same way. He clasped his hands around your outstretched wrists. Stopping you from tearing down your beauty with your harsh words. He was shocked you would even question the way he saw you. To him, loving you was as easy as breathing. Hell, easier - he didn’t need to breathe after all.

“You’re the most captivatin’ person I’ve ever laid eyes on… and I’ve seen a lot in my time. Trust me, I love you. Your size. Everything. Just- please- let me show you how much?” Spike said those words as if they were the most important he would ever utter. You had never seen him plead like this before, although you had seen the way he looked at you sometimes. You had thought he was just being kind. But now you knew. 

With every soft brush against your skin, you knew. He held his hand out for you and you took it, the crying had subsided at his hand wrapped around yours comfortingly.

You just hoped you could show your love for him in such a meaningful way. you took his hand with such trust, he almost felt it pulsing through his veins as you clasped your hands with his. You walked away together, into the night. Both of you wishing for your moments together to never end.

[stefciastark]

Identity Reveal ~ Webpril Day 12

A/N: Peter accidentally posts a Spiderman photo to his personal account, and a personal photo to his Spiderman account. Panic and Irondad ensues. This is a bit of a shorter one, but this fill was inspired by an anonymous prompt submission to IronDadPrompts' blog, and I just had to roll with it!

~Read it on AO3

~Read it on FFN

Seeing the multicoloured bar reach its final destination on the top right of his screen, Peter admired his handiwork for a moment before switching his phone off and putting it back in his back pocket.

The golden hour lighting gave his most recent selfie an ethereal look, and he proudly captioned the photo “Sunsets are my sol-mates” followed by an emoji wearing black sunglasses and a smiling sun.

The selfie was in stark contrast to the picture he posted moments before to his ‘friendlyneighborhoodspider’ account. The chaos in that image was palpable, a frenzied and partially blurry photo taken while Peter was swinging, bright pink handbag in hand taken from a local thief. He had captioned it: “Has anyone lost this?” He never did find who it belonged to.

He finally rounded the last corner to his apartment building, the sun now completely set, bathing New York in a blanket of darkness. He oddly felt more at ease in the night than he did when the sun was at its peak. He supposed that went with the territory of being an undercover hero.

Leaping up the last two steps to the seventh floor, he closed the apartment door behind him.

“May? You home?”

Hearing no response, he made his way through the kitchen and stopped when he saw a note written on the countertop.

There’s some leftover lasagna in the fridge for dinner. I’ll be late tonight, so I’ll see you in the morning.

Aunt May xx

Right...May had her F.E.A.S.T function tonight.

As much as he loved coming home to his caring aunt, he rarely got time to himself as just Peter Parker.

He smiled to himself, taking his phone out and leaving it face down on the kitchen table. Tossing his backpack haphazardly into his bedroom, he returned to the kitchen and began reheating the lasagna, the smell of warm pasta, beef and love flooding the apartment.

As soon as the beep of the microwave faded into silence, his phone began to buzz, an obnoxiously loud rendition of the Imperial March blasting through his phone speakers. Flipping the device over, he almost fumbled and dropped it - not like another crack on his screen would matter - as the name ‘Tony Stark’ filled his Lock Screen.

“H-hey Mr Stark, how’s it going?”

“Hey kid. Look, I just wanted to say I’m real proud of you for finally coming out with it. Not how I would have done it, but maybe that’s for the best. What’s th-”

Peter furrowed his brows, trying to remember if he’d done anything recently to warrant a call from Tony, much less a congratulatory call from Tony. “Uh, Mr Stark,” he laughed nervously. “What are you talking about?”

“Your big Spiderman reveal on, the hell do you guys call it… the ‘Gram’,” Peter could practically hear the air quotations. “What do you think I’m talking about?”

Peter didn’t immediately respond, but Tony could hear the intensity of Peter’s taps on his phone screen. Tony suddenly felt a lot more ill at ease.

“Oh shit,” Peter breathed. He saved that kind of language for special occasions, and this fit the bill. What he saw made his blood run cold. Thousands upon thousands of comments and likes flooded both his personal and Spiderman Instagram page. Ranging from “HA! Knew it” to “Spiderman’s a kid? I suddenly feel a lot less safe now…”, Peter suddenly felt very under the spotlight, and not in the cool way he’d always dreamt of. But it wasn’t the influx of comments or the sheer magnitude of likes and notifications sending his phone into a frenzy. It was the image of himself, backed by the afternoon sun that was his “sol-mate”, the username ‘friendlyneighborhoodspider’ sitting like a cherry atop his Panic Cake. Just below it, p.parker8101 had posted a photo of Spiderman, the strap of a bubblegum pink handbag grasped between his fingers.

“Peter, listen to me, just breathe.” Tony knew a panic attack when he heard one. Peter complied, a deep inhale that made Peter’s whole frame shake more than the earthquake that had rocked Sterling Hill. Tony knit his brow, suddenly and overwhelmingly very concerned for his kid. The cause of Peter’s panic dawned on him quickly. “You didn’t mean to post it, did you…” Tony sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose from the other side of the call. “Oh, Pete.”

Peter couldn’t think through the sheer panic. Whenever he’d been confronted with a threat or dangerous situation - which was just an occupational hazard he’d experienced with alarming frequency - his go-to strategy was just to outmanoeuvre the bad guys, send a good punch flying, and get the innocent bystanders out of harm's way. This had now become so far out of his control that he didn’t have a clue where to start, and he was beginning to think that it might not be something he could come back from.

He felt more than heard himself say the words, chest heaving with sporadic breaths in his futile attempt to calm down. “W-what do I do, what d-did you do?”

Tony grimaced, knowing he had to tread lightly. It had been different for Tony, coming out as Ironman. It had been almost instantaneous, in the grand scheme of his hero career. It had been on his terms, and he had been ready. Peter, well...Peter was facing something that could either make or break Spiderman. It could make or break Peter.

“Things were a bit different for me, kiddo. The best advice I can give you is this: own it. Don’t let any of the hate get to you. It’s hard, I know, but what’s done is done and as of right now you don’t have two separate lives anymore, and you’re going to have to learn to live with that. If you can’t, are you prepared to let Spiderman go?”

“No,” Peter sniffed, wiping his sleeve across the frustrated tears that spilled down his cheeks. But Tony was right. There was no use in crying over spilt milk. Maybe there’d even be a silver lining, although Peter was having a hard time thinking what that could possibly be in that moment.

“That’s what I thought.” Tony opened his contacts, already composing a text message. “Tell you what, I’ll get Happy to come get you, and we can talk this through. I’ve got you, we’ll figure this out.”

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Goals & A Backwards Glance

Writing Edition

I know NYE is usually reserved for looking ahead at what new things the coming year will bring. But I always like looking back, too. Perspective is always a good thing, and what I’ve found is that things almost always look and feel different with a little space in between. So this is basically my little look back at some of the things I’ve written this year, and a hopeful list of the things I want to accomplish in the new year.

Writing Goals for 2021:

Finish ISY and Simplify. These two were the first two series that I started writing on this blog and they’re still unfinished. I know what happens in both of them, and I have for a long while now. I think the main reason that they’re still in limbo is because my writing has changed quite a lot since I started both of them. I’ve also worked with those (and other) characters a lot more since I started them, and so I feel like a lot of the things that I wrote for both that version of Billy and Logan don’t quite fit the way that I see them now- because I think I have a much deeper understanding of them both as characters now than I did a year and a half (that’s embarrassing) ago. My main concern is making sure that they don’t feel disjointed in terms of the storytelling- I know they’re disjointed insofar as time between updates but...  nothing I can do about that now except close the books on both of ‘em. 2 more sections for Logan, probably about 4 or 5 for Billy. So if you’ve been waiting on either of these stories to finish, I’m very sorry. I have actually been creepin in the ISY document lately so look for that in the coming week 

Find John’s Voice again. I had it, plotted out pretty much the entire storyline for LFtM&D, and then completely lost both his voice and my confidence in my ability to convincingly write the story that I want to write. He’s just such a precious cherub and I want to make sure that if I write him, I do him and all his charm and whimsy justice. So getting him back on track is a must. 

Complete an entire series before posting it. I’ve tried this in the past and have only managed to hold back like two chapters at a time. I’m working on something new for Billy though, and I really want to make sure that I take my time with it. While I know I’m hard on myself when it comes to writing, I tend to be even more critical when it comes to my interpretation of Billy (hence ISY and my hang ups with it.) And I really want to make sure that there’s nothing I’ll wish I had done differently by the time I’m posting the final chapter. It’s a few thousand words in now, and I’ve already made some major changes so I’m glad I am sticking to this method. 

Branch out with my writing. I started writing something for a different fandom... like... 5 minutes ago. I want to finish it, see where it takes me, and hopefully have the guts to post it here. 

Non-fic related projects. The last few years I have been focusing a lot of my attention on writing fanfic over original pieces. I regret absolutely nothing because doing that helped me out of a years-long wordless drought. I have learned so much in the last few years about my style and the things that are important to me when I write, so I think now that I feel like I found my feet again, it would be a good time for me to revisit my non-fic related projects. A few need complete overhauls and some need to just be junk-drawered while others have been patiently waiting to jump from my notes to a real, live google doc of their own. I’m in no way done with fic writing. On the contrary, I actually have a ton of fic ideas that I still  want to get to. But I want to split my time and attention towards both branches of my writing, because I’m ready to take the steps that I need to to advance this from a hobby into something more. 

2020 Writing at a Glance: 

Series finished: Jigsaw, The Jilted Tourist, 

Series continued from 2019: Too Good to be True, I See You, Simplify, Passing Through, See You in New York, Made Man, Our Time

New Series in 2020: Core Drive, In the Arms of the Ocean, Let’s Face the Music & Dance, The Last Dream 

Favorite New Series: Core Drive (Logan)

Favorite One Shot: Luckenbach, Texas (Ryan)

Favorite Request Result: Lonely Stranger (Ryan) 

Biggest challenge: Navigating the storyline for Core Drive. It’s built on flashbacks and dreams and inner thoughts, so keeping it all straight enough when it’s not really meant to be linear can be a challenge. 

Most proud of: The OCs I created for In the Arms of the Ocean. Vash, Sereia, Coralia and Cheepimeek make me smile just thinking about them. I’ll be really sad to start fucking up their world in the next part of that story.  

Anyway, if you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading! I hope that this keeps me accountable for the things that I want to accomplish with my writing. If you’ve read this list please feel free to call me out and help keep me on the path towards completing it. 

And if you’re one of the people that have been reading my stories, thank you. Those words always feel insignificant whenever I say them, but I truly am grateful for anyone who has ever interacted with my writing in any way shape or form. Sharing my stories with you makes it far more fun to write them. 

And on a final note, I won’t beat a dead horse and talk about how shittastic this last year has been for a lot of people. But what I will say is that I hope this next trip around the sun brings a lot more light and happiness to everyone. Happy New Year, guys, we made it through another one. 

** I have something planned to post tomorrow that will hopefully start the year off on a positive note, so if you love Ryan Brenner and you know it clap your hands...and check your notifications tomorrow ;)