#let us get our first apartment together T_T

[windser]

i just know i would have the BEST sleep sprawled out against laios chest. he'd literally be a human furnace and we'd be all sticky from the shared heat in the morning. but being surrounded by love and appreciation? yeah, it makes it all worth it.

[jonillaa]

hi hi can i request a jo slight angst then fluff at the end where you got into an argument and he cried T_T and oh! can female!reader be a noona? ^^

i feel bad seeing/imagining jo cry but he just looks so pretty when he does *flashback to &audition when he cried in that one ep 😭*

thank you so much, lovely!

STATIC ┊ asakura jo

PAIRING ┊ jo x noona!reader

GENRE ┊ slight angst , fluff

WC ┊521

WARNINGS ┊ jo cries , reader and jo are yelling at each other , arguing , bad writing , lowercase intended

SYNOPSIS ┊ jo and you have been dating for a while (before he joined &audition), but one night you both get into a heated argument about his busy schedule as an idol. the argument ends after you notice that jo is crying, which leads to you comforting him.

A/N ┊ AAAAA my first angst!! honestly i feel like this is terrible like idk i promise i wrote this in the span of 2 hours so im so sorry if it seems rushed T_T also ignore how the photos do not match with each other at all plz ..

the sound of a slammed door reverberated through the small apartment. tension hung heavy in the air as you and jo stood facing each other. you had been dating for several months now, but tonight, frustration and exhaustion drew the line between you both.

"i just don't understand why you can't make time for us," you spoke, your voice quivering with emotion. "we barely see each other anymore!"

jo’s shoulders stiffened at the accusation. he couldn't meet your gaze, instead choosing to fixate on the ground beneath his feet. "you know how busy i am as an idol, y/n. i wish you could understand."

"how am I supposed to understand if you never talk to me about it? we used to spend time together, jo. now all we have is glimpses of each other in between your hectic schedule!" your voice rose, anger and hurt seeping into their words.

frustration welled up within jo, his emotions boiling over. "it's not like i want it to be this way! being an idol is what i've worked so hard for, y/n. can’t you at least try to support me instead of adding to the pressure?"

silence hung in the air for a moment as both of them took a step back, suddenly aware of the intensity of their words. jo’s shoulders slumped, and he swiped a hand across his eyes.

that’s when you noticed the glistening tear tracks on jo’s cheeks. your anger instantly dissolved, replaced by concern and a twinge of guilt. stepping forward, you gently took jo’s trembling hands in your own.

jo tried to pull away, averting his gaze. "i-i’m sorry. i didn't mean to cry. it’s just... i’m tired, y/n. i’m tired of feeling like i’m disappointing you."

your heart sank at those words, gently letting your fingers intertwine with jo’s. "you could never disappoint me, jo. i just... i miss you. and i’m scared that we'll drift apart at this rate."

a shuddering breath escaped jo’s lips, his voice barely above a whisper. "i miss you too, y/n. but I can't give up on my dreams just because it's difficult. i don't want us to give up on each other either."

your grip tightened, voice filled with emotion. "i don't want to give up on you. i want to fight for our relationship, but i need you to meet me halfway. Communication is key, jo."

tears streamed freely down jo’s face now, his vulnerability laid bare. "y/n, i’m sorry for shutting you out. i should have talked to you about how i’ve been feeling. i... i never wanted us to argue like this."

you pulled jo into a tight embrace, your fingers gently caressing his back. "i’m sorry too, jo. i shouldn’t have lashed out. we needed this conversation, as difficult as it was."

you both stood there, holding each other, finding comfort in one another's presence. the weight between them slowly dissipated in the warmth of their shared embrace.

"i love you, y/n." jo whispered, his voice laced with raw sincerity.

"i love you too, jo. more than words could ever explain” you replied softly, your voice filled with tenderness.

[takasgf]

🍯 and 🍓 for any F/O for the ask game ^-^ <3

MORNING FREYA🌤 THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTIONS UWAA <33 answering the first one for R.ocket and the second for Taka :3c

🍯: what do you think is the sweetest thing I've done for you?

Morket-wise it's definitely the way he takes care of her injuries all the time. He's really good at it too, it gets pretty intricate at times (like trying to piece a broken vase together but instead of a vase its your girlfriend's arm LOL). He's super patient and sweet with her. While he fixes her wounds he usually keeps her occupied by talking to her (or letting her talk and rant about her favourite things). If she's not up for talking, he hums little songs for her so that it's not completely silent in the room. She thinks its the cutest thing ever and would do anything just to hear him. This is sooo self indulgent and dummy dumb but after they start dating, Morgs tells him that "kisses make the injuries hurt less haha" as a joke (because yeah, even if she is not an organic creature she still experiences some sort of pain when she's severely hurt) and he does actually end up giving her little kisses on the spots that are more affected. Nobody look at me. ALSO sorry i keep bringing up the fact that they get hurt often, but their job is to fight off space creatures and evil stuff so.... they are entitled to financial compensation. I was also going to talk about him as a character helping me in my childhood and that is very sweet of him but man i do repeat myself a lot about this

����: what's your favourite adventure that we've shared?

TAKA MY BABY I WILL NEVER FORGET THE SUMMER VACANTION OF 2020. Worst year of my life and worst summer of my life EXCEPT !!!! for our trip to the beach that year. (dont come at me, it was my parents' decision not mine) My memory is a tad foggy, but I was so terribly happy with him. We also took Celeste with us and it was an absolute delight. I remember literally skipping on the street thinking about him being besides me, having fun at the beach, sharing ice cream, getting playfully scolded for not putting on enough sunscreen (darling where were you this year when i got sunburnt T_T), cuddling with him in the apartment and looking back at our day... its all pretty normal stuff but i remember having the time of my life. 2020-2021 was an iconic time for ishigeru and im looking back on it fondly even if i was struggling heavily. they will always be special to me. i love you ishi my dear <33 lets go to the beach again!!! (seriously i miss it so much....)

[kurosukii]

hi my luv! i feel like it's been years i hope you're doing well🖤 i'm back with a few updates :)

things are still going really well between me and mr.dilf! i feel like at this point it's less tutoring and more of us just hanging out together (he does still help me when i need it though)

i also went to his apartment for the first time last saturday. he lives downtown and it was so pretty just looking out the window at all the nightlife and the sky and the stars. but we cooked together and overall we just had a lot of fun :)

but me being me i just had to get on his nerves a little by doing and saying stuff. he's got so much patience though!! but my hard work payed off. here's a few highlights of how that went down:

"get out of my apartment."

"actually, don't. but stop talking to me like that." (PLEASE HE WAS POUTING WHEN HE SAID THAT)

"darling. i know what you want and you're not getting it."

"aww darling why are you so quiet now? isn't this what you wanted? yeah? my hand around your throat like this?"

but my personal favorites (who am i kidding everything he says is my favorite):

"who knew my pretty darling was such a pathetic little slut. i've hardly done anything to you."

"you're so fucking wet you're gonna ruin my couch."

"fuck it let's ruin it."

"look at my pathetic little slut begging for me like that."

"keep begging. you look so so pretty when you do."

and that's how i got my special friend ate for the first time :)

after that came so much praise i thought i was gonna cry. some things he said:

"i'm so proud of you."

"you listened so well."

"you're such a good girl for me."

"you're just absolutely perfect darling."

"god you're just so beautiful."

it was so cute because i was just sitting in his lap and we were looking out the window and if he wasn't kissing me he was praising me and after that he started telling me facts about the stars and the city buildings.

we're still not fully fucking (?) until we're both 100% sure that things are okay and we discuss limits and everything else fully. he just wants it to be the perfect moment.

we're still trying to figure out how far we want to go relationship wise but like i said so far everything is great.

we are going out together for the first time this weekend so i'm excited for that. it's like our first date (and it's honestly my first date ever). but my outfit is literally so pretty i can't wait to show you😭

that's all for now but i'll be back sometime soon with another update :)

my emotions in 4 pics ... pls ... this affects me even more bc ur a virginia and im a virginia too ... but i am not experiencing this .

oh my god .... he got a nasty mouth on him 🤤 and ms girl got her kitty ate 👀 PLSSS I AM SO JEALOUS OF YOU . and he’s so nice he’s really taking his time T_T

[aural4444]

Stolitz is canon!

I know this should be known at this point, but I still find people who doubt the Stolitz, and the feelings of Stolas and Blitz for each other, which surprises me at this point. In part I understand it, since we can´t deny that the clues for the ship have been mostly ambiguous in the previous episodes (Although if you know how to look closely, you realize that their relationship is in a state of growth, there are many people who have written essays about it, which I like it), but in episode 7 they give us direct evidence throughout the chapter about the feelings they have for each other... To break our hearts in the end (Vivziepop and her group trolled us LMAO), but in question to "will they end up together or apart?", I leave that for the final episode and season 2 (Although it hurts to wait (T_T)). I'm going to focus on showing the direct evidence from episode 7 that Blitz and Stolas have romantic feelings for each other:

1-The first person Blitz thought of calling as his "date" was Stolas.

In episodes 1 and 2 (Pilot doesn´t count), Blitz has always avoided Stolas, only accepting calls and things strictly "business", but in chapter 5 and 6 that changes, and it shows when Blitz doesn´t hesitate to call Stolas as his date (Although it's still low of him to use Stolas's feelings like that, but it's Blitz, let's not get picky either XD).

We can conclude that Blitz trusts Stolas much more than he did at the beginning of the series, and that he doesn´t hate spending time with him.

2-Stolas is in love with Blitz.

Honestly, I think this was obvious during the series, but I don´t deny that his way of showing affection has always been very sexual, also that he likes to use pet names that makes it seem that he doesn´t respect Blitz or only sees him as a toy ( And he suffers the consequences in this episode (T_T)), in my opinion episode 2 and 5 showed that he likes to invite him to spend time with him, but this episode has shown it in a more direct way with this cute face<3<3<3<3.

3-Blitz didn´t deny that it was a date.

Although in my opinion it shouldn´t count that as a “real date” of how bad it was, besides that it was wrong that Blitz told Stolas about "overkill" (Although in my headcanon, he says it because he didn´t expect Stolas to be so gorgeous, but yeah, it is headcanon, doesn´t count as proof XD), and initially ignores Stolas.

BUT when Stolas begins to ask him about his day, in the end Blitz stops spying on M&M (The main reason he had come to the club) to pay attention to Stolas, in addition he hesitated to tell Stolas about the real reason he asked him to go out that night (And Blitz has never had problems directly reject Stolas, so this time he did not want to hurt his feelings), and finally we add that he never denied that this was a date (They are little and small, but in my opinion this says a lot).

4-Blitz looks at Stolas when Fizzarolli says "Some nerves you got to comment on a relationship".

Yeah, I know he looks at Stolas because his relationship with him is super messed up (With the how it started, the deal, the grimoire, Stolas's marriage, the social difference, etc...), but I'm still happy that he looks at Stolas when Fizarrolli mentions the word "relationship" (That shows how he considers his relationship with Stolas to be something like a "romantic relationship", even if is super messep up XD).

5-When Verosika approached Blitz threateningly, Stolas stood up in concern.

In episode 6 it already showed that when Blitz suffers from mortal danger, Stolas will make a confrontation, the same here (By the way, this is headcanon, but I think Asmodeus noticed Stolas because he stood up XD).

6-What hurt Blitz the most was that Stolas hid in shame.

Sometimes we don't realize how much something or someone really matters or we love until we lose it or they hurts us. This is a good example, as Blitz was able to put up with Fizzerolli and Verosika, not that they didn't hurt him emotionally but he didn't show real pain and shame until he saw Stolas's reaction (And to remember, in episode 6 it showed that he mentally puts Stolas on a FUCKING PEDESTAL, even if he pretends otherwise or lies to himself, Stolas' opinion matters a lot to him). This is when he was truly hurt for the rest of the episode.

(By the way, I don't think Stolas was ashamed of Blitz, he was ashamed of himself)

7-Stolas wants a serious and romantic relationship with Blitz (Like M&M).

After our dear M&M couples set a beautiful example of a healthy, romantic couple, Stolas stares at them and then looks at Blitz, then he tries to hold his hand... Needless to say, this scene speaks for itself as to what Stolas truly wants with Blitz.

8-The car scene.

Yeah...

I'm aware that this was basically the "couple fight" scene from the episode, but in my opinion it shows how they both still have feelings for each other (And maybe I'm "pushing" it with this XD.

For starters, that Blitz brought Stolas home with his van says something in my opinion, as he could abandon Stolas on his own and let himself go home with his magic, when Stolas say that even if the date was a disaster he enjoys spending time with Blitz, I found him sweet and sad, that he proposed non-sexual activities to Blitz (Even when Blitz rejects him), and this will sound cruel, but when Blitz says "Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time" with a trembling voice, he recognizes that they have a "we have" and when he says "You make that really clear all the time" his voice almost breaks, when Blitz sees Stolas's sad face he apologizes, and Stolas accepts Blitz's rejection and bows (It is now clear that Blitz could reject Stolas, and Stolas wouldn´t "force" Blitz , I emphasize this because there are STILL people who believe the opposite of this), and Stolas crying alone.

(T_T)

9-Blitz also has romantic feelings for Stolas.

Damnit! They only reveal this photo to us after the car scene, this is trolling no matter how you look at it XDXDXD(T_T)(T_T)(T_T)

Needless to say, these photos are photos of happy moments, and Blitz loved ones, that he keeps even if his relationship with them goes bad or his phone breaks.

He took out a secret photo of himself and Stolas cuddling while smiling softly and sweetly<3<3<3<3(T_T) (T_T) (T_T) (T_T) .

If this isn't proof of Blitz loving Stolas (Or at least like "like" him), then I don't know what it is.

The End (For now)

Now in a matter of what will happen in the next chapter or season 2, I HAVE NO IDEA with Stolas and Blitz. I'd sell my soul for a spoiler, because the wait is literally torturing me (T_T).

I belong to the "Stolitz forever" team, so we'll see in the future<3.

BY THE WAY

X-I can't be the only one who thinks they are a sweet couple of hypocrites, right?

Thank you very much to everyone who has bothered to read to the end despite being so long, I appreciate it very much, thank you.

[jaegerboob]

WIP ROUNDUP!!

i was tagged by @trashpocket​ (hey bae ;)) and since im lonely here on tumblr and have no one but the void to yell at, i won’t be tagging anyone :((

okay let’s start off with my published WIPS lol i have quite a collection and boy do i regret posting most of these, but anyway that’s here’s my hot girl shit

"i’ll figure it out with a little more time” - (if u knew me at my thai BL phase no u didn’t :)) anyways this was a supposed to be a pretty short fic that features an oblivious Sarawat not knowing how to navigate his feelings towards Tine and Tine being an equally giant dumbass. their school is hosting a school dance and Sarawat’s emotionally constipated ass doesn’t know how to SPEAK and just ASK Tine to go w/ him. i swear i might be the author of this story but i also get mad at these fuckers

“we’re boyfriends?” - ah yes another Thai BL fic, i will admit. i have NO idea where to take this story lmao. i still wanna finish it tho cuz i hate disappointing ppl. the fic starts with Ae and Pond making a dumb bet so Pond will stop jerking off in their shared room and promises that he won’t do that as long Ae dates someone random and based off of Pond’s choosing. sweet bby Pete wanders into their campus accidentally  and gets picked. Ae does the deed and tells Pete they’re dating. Ae thinks that Pete and Pond are scheming to make his life a living hell but lo and behold Pete has actually fallen in love with him (heheheh) 

“i wanna ruin our friendship” - hello lgbtq+ community :). we all know where this fuckin title is from don’t be sneaky. so here’s my KilluGon college fic. I initially wrote this like two years ago and uploaded it on wattpad lmaooo then i edited it and posted on ao3 and once again i have no idea where to take this (ive forgotten what my original idea for this was lol) so basically Killua and Gon are really close friends and Gon is sortof a player in this AU idk why khdkadha but anywayz all of Gon’s exes have left him bc they’re jealous of Killua but Gon would never pick his current S/O over him so HAAA. it all goes to shit tho when Retz decides to trick Gon to taking her back for the school dance and idk what path to go for T_T 

AIGHT now for my UNPUBLISHED WIPS buckle up yall this is a LOT. all the titles are WIPS so that’s why theyre iffy lol

“pussy talented”- (don’t mind the title lmao i just wanted a cat pun in there somewhere) basically, Bokuto is a firefighter and Akaashi an editor. They work near each other and Bokuto often visits Kuroo, who works with Akaashi. Ofc Akaashi falls in love at first sight but then he overhears that he has a "Kenma" waiting for him at home. Akaashi assumes that he's probably Bo's boyfriend and then leaves him alone, making Bo confused as hell. Little that he knows that Kenma is actually a grumpy calico cat.

“killugon flower shop AU” - Wing owns a flower shop and Killua helps out with Zushi along with Alluka out of boredom and one day Alluka asks Killua to help out with her client then he meets Gon and is immediately smitten until Gon says that he's looking for something that he can give to a girlfriend (it was actually Ging's request lol), lots of misunderstanding, Killua being too shy to ask the handsome stranger out and Alluka and Zushi being done with his shit 

“rice isn’t the only thing getting crushed here” - Osamu falls in love with one of his most loyal costumers—Akaashi and he thinks he might just have a shot at it until one day while Akaashi is ordering a bunch of riceballs, Bokuto Koutaro of Japan's National Volleyball team enters the restaurant and sweeps Akaashi of his feet, unexpected angst and a generous helping of unrequited pining :)) dw this fic can go two ways: Bokuto is just Akaashi's best friend who he hasn't seen in months or b. Bokuto is actually Akaashi's fiance maybe i’ll write both endings heehee

“killua is sad and gets lovebombed” - while staying in Whale Island, Killua thinks he that he doesn't deserve Gon and tries to leave him while he's asleep but his plan is stopped when Gon wakes up and they both end up revealing their true feelings for each other

“excuse to write charles getting fucked by two delicious men” - Erik and Charles have been in a relationship for years now and basically fell out of love so when Erik gets promoted and has to move, Charles agrees and so they break up. Charles turns to Logan (who harbors a giant crush on Charles) for companionship and sleep together once. Logan says it was an accident but Charles wants more and they establish a FWB situation of sorts since Charles isn't ready yet. But then Charles gets into an accident and can't remember what happened the past year and a half so he still thinks he's with Erik. Meanwhile, Erik is living a luxurious yet empty life and when he gets the call from Raven about Charles' situation, he immediately goes back running.

“killua in whale island” - KilluGon are like 20-ish and Killua visits Whale Island and Ging just happens to be there as well. Killua thinks about how even though Gon and Ging are near identical, Gon just looks so much more handsome. (probs just a oneshot) 

 “another horny cherik fic” - Charles is a demon who was accidentally summoned when Raven, Hank and Ororo uses Erik's blood to perform a demon summoning ritual (as a joke) they didn't know it would actually work so now Charles is stuck with Erik because the human absolutely refuses to sell his soul

“IwaOi overboard AU” - Oikawa is a rich pretty boy and Iwa a college dropout who works at his uncle's repair shop with his younger brother Tobio and cousin Kyoutani ( both 5 yrs old). One day he gets called over to fix one of Oikawa's cars and after a failed and disastrous encounter with a drunk Oikawa, Iwa leaves the mansion fuming. Later in the day, it's discovered that Oikawa got in a car crash that took away his memories and since Oikawa apparently lives alone, he has no one to get him. not until Iwa comes ofc and with a malicious and vengeful intent, he tells Oikawa that they're dating and live together in his crappy apartment

“dancer Akaashi” - Akaashi is a dancer, Osamu is a bartender at the bar he works at and has also been in love with Akaashi for the past two years. He doesn't confess since he knows Akaashi doesn't like romance but then enters a bright eyed cheery Bokuto who sweeps the unreachable Midnight Moon off of his feet, bokuaka but im leaning towards bokuosaaka since akaashi deserves two boyfriends

“watch me be poetically horny for Akaashi Keiji” - Akaashi is a vampire and Osamu, a skilled artist. Akaashi posing nude and delighted at how beautifully Osamu portrays him. Osamu says otherwise. 

Cherik College AU - drift by great gable.... late teens cherik... Erik being a misanthropic horny bastard and Charles a snarky piece of shit.... they get paired up for 7 minutes in heaven... turns out Charles has been ogling him for a while now..  hmmmm,,,.,. ( i wrote this when i was drunk and my og draft is too long so take this instead lolz) 

“ BokuAka (NSFW) ” - Bokuto pushing off a guy who tried to hit on Akaashi while they're at a club. Akaashi gets so turned on he immediately drags Bokuto to the bathroom where he gets his facefucked in one of the bathroom stalls or Akaashi getting his face fucked in a dirty alley at the back of a bar after Bokuto gets into a fistfight.

“KuroKen (NSFW)  ” -Kenma does top during sex but but he's just really lazy to put in the effort 

aight that’s it oh damn i just now realize how much i have T-T bruhhhhhhh and this isn’t even all of them damnnn 

[chocoluckchipz]

Will You Help Me, Marinette?

                                  Read it on A03, FF.net, WattPad

Halfway into her walk to work, Marinette’s phone chimed. An amused smile tugged at her lips. A new record. Usually, he’d text her first thing upon waking up. Had been for years. She was already starting to suspect something had happened.

Adrien: Help!

She rolled her eyes. If it were anyone else, she’d panic. But it was Adrien, an overgrown man-child to whose overly dramatic, exaggerated ways she was used to by now.

Marinette: I’m bringing you croissants. Don’t worry.

Adrien: U rock!

Adrien: But that’s not it. Can I ask you for a favour?

She stopped at the lights, looking around for cars and quickly ran across the street.

Marinette: Coffee? I’m about to walk by our café.

Adrien: Thanks, but not today. My photoshoot relocated at the last moment, so I won’t be in until much later in the day.  

Adrien: I’ll still meet you at our cafe for lunch. Don’t order without me.

Marinette: :thumbs-up:

One end of her scarf got loose and seeing as Adrien was still typing, Marinette stole a moment to fix it, swaddling her neck away from the crispiness of cool air on the early April morning.

Adrien: Marinette, you’re my best friend and the luckiest girl I know, and you’re super smart and creative, so if anyone, you’d know what to do, and I really can use help now in something super important.

Adrien::puppy eyes: Please?

She didn’t bother suppressing a giggle, attracting a few glances from a morning crowd around her. Turning the corner, Marinette inhaled a warm aroma of fresh baked goods from a nearby café. She grew up and still lived in a bakery. She should've been used to this kind of thing. Yet this one was special. It was close to Gabriel’s office, and Adrien and she loved to frequent it during their lunches.  

One of the servers waved at her, wishing her a good day. Marinette waved back, asking how their new kitten was adjusting. A brief exchange later, she walked on, a buzzing device in her hand reminding her of an unintentionally abandoned friend.

Adrien: T_T

Adrien: Are you ignoring me?

Adrien: Five minutes had passed. No answer. :sobbing:

Adrien: I thought we were friends? Friends help each other.  

Adrien: …

Adrien: You do still like me, right?

She couldn’t hold back a chuckle. Such a drama queen and an incorrigible dork. Though, no one would ever believe her if she’d say that out loud that because in the public eye a supermodel, part-time CEO of a fashion empire Adrien Agreste was perfect in every sense of this word. Only his closest friends knew better.

Marinette: I beg your forgiveness, Your Highness. I was distracted by Pierre. How can I help you?  

Adrien: :D You like me after all!

Marinette: I wouldn’t put up with your insufferable antics otherwise. Now, spill because I’m about to walk into the office and you’ll lose me five minutes after that.

Adrien: Okay.  

Adrien: So…

Adrien: I’ve decided…

Adrien: To confess to the love of my life.

Marinette froze in her path, her heart sinking. Tightening her grip on her cellphone, she stared at the screen in shock. Adrien was in love with someone? Why didn’t she know about that? They’ve been friends for years, so how did she miss that the love of her life was in love with someone else? Her quickening-its-pace heart ached as Adrien continued to type.

Adrien: I tried to confess to her on my own many times but chickened out every single one of them because I’m terrified of ruining what we already have if she doesn’t feel the same for it’s amazing and wonderful and absolutely beautiful, but I’m also at a point where I NEED more. It’s getting too hard to be just a friend.

Adrien: So, I’m risking it and I need you to help me. As my oldest and best-est friend ever you must help me. Please, say you’ll help me?

A knife Adrien didn’t know he’d stuck into her heart twisted, ripping through tender flesh. Marinette bit on her tongue and closed her eyes, breathing in deeply. She needed a moment before she could reply, so walking into Gabriel’s building, she proceeded to the elevator and didn’t check her phone until she was safely in her office, settled in her chair.

Adrien: Marinette?

Adrien: I hope I didn’t ask for too much. You’re the only one I can trust with this.

Adrien: If you’d rather not, though, it’s fine. I’ll figure this out somehow.

Adrien: Are you upset with me? I’m sorry. I didn’t think this would be a big deal.  

Adrien: … Please, say something.

Marinette read over the messages a few more times before dropping her head in her hands, propped on the table. This hurt. It ripped and crushed and devastated her, but as much as she’d love to run away and scream her pain out right now, Adrien was her friend first of all, and as his friend, she’d be supportive of him even if it hurt her.

Marinette: Sorry. I got distracted on my way. In my office now, so you have my full attention.

Adrien: T_T Don’t scare me like this. I already thought you hated me.

Marinette: Why would I hate you?  

Adrien: Idk. Just a thought. So, you’re in?

Marinette: Are you sure you want me involved? Love confessions are kind of personal.

Adrien: Mari, please. I’m twenty-three. I don’t want to die an old maiden because I’m too chicken to confess to the most amazing, gorgeous girl around.

Marinette stared at the phone. She was also twenty-three, and ten of those years, she’d spent loving Adrien. All in vain, it seemed now. And yet, she couldn’t find it in herself to regret a single moment because Adrien had been brightening her days ever since their mothers became friends at a random book club meeting all those years back. She couldn’t desert him now, even if she wanted to.

Swearing under her breath, she cursed her inability to say No to him once again and typed.

Marinette: Alright. Let’s start with the name of the lucky lady.

Adrien: Can’t tell you.

Marinette: Seriously?

Adrien: Yes.  

Marinette: How can I help you if I don’t know who she is?

Adrien: Keep me accountable. Bug me until I confess. Remind me every freaking minute that I can do it. Idk, threaten me or something. We’ve been friends for what? Almost fifteen years now? You know how I work and how to make me do things. That’s why I’m begging you and not Nino.

Marinette wished he’d asked Nino instead because helping Adrien confess to some girl was the least of Marinette’s desires.

Marinette: It’s going to be hard to suggest anything specific if I don’t know who she is, but fine. We’ll think of something. I get the front row seat at the wedding, though.

She wanted nothing less but Adrien couldn’t know that.

Adrien: Thank you! I’ll save you the best seat in the house… IF she accepts.

Marinette: Oh, please! You’ve got looks and money. Who would refuse you?

Adrien: See, that’s the issue: she knows me too well. She won’t be swayed by my looks or money. T_T Why do you think I’ve been stalling?  

Marinette: Your dorkiness is finally catching up with you?

Adrien: Meanie.

Marinette: :P I’m sure everything will be fine. Now, is there anything you can tell me about her?

Adrien: She works at Gabriel.

Marinette tried to swallow the knot in her throat. Of course. Adrien must be in love with one of the models. He worked amongst the most beautiful girls in France every day, and who was Marinette? A junior designer in his father’s company? Not ugly or a failure per se but she was nothing to be proud of also. Marinette was just a girl whom he’d known her for most of his life and whose every fault he’d witness more than she’d like to admit. Nothing new and exciting to catch his attention. She was an idiot to ever dare to dream of him.

Yet, gritting her teeth together and pushing the thought aside, Marinette typed a response because he was her friend and he needed her help.

Marinette: You can ask her out to lunch for starters? Take her to our cafe. I’m sure she’d love it there.

Adrien: …  

Adrien: But we always have our lunches together. I can’t betray you like that.  

Marinette: I’ll be fine. I have a few designs I need to finish today, so I’ll eat at the work cafeteria.

Adrien: They don’t have your favourite.  

Marinette: I can survive one lunch without an eclair. Or I can call Alya and meet up with her.

Adrien: Shoot. Gtg. Ttyl.

Marinette: Good luck.

Adrien: <3

Marinette put the phone away. dropping her head onto the table. They’ve been so close for years. How could she have missed that Adrien was in love with someone? Was she that blinded by her own feelings for him? If she wasn’t, maybe then she would’ve noticed and could’ve prepared herself and not feel this excruciating pain in her chest now.

Her phone chimed again. This time it was Alya, reminding her of their Friday night plans. Marinette briefly responded, not paying close attention to what she was saying, adding an invitation for lunch at the end. Not that she was eager to be in anybody’s company today, but it was better than sitting alone and obsessing over who Adrien’s lady-love was. She knew herself and right now she needed a distraction not to fall apart. So, pushing misery aside, Marinette pulled her work files and started on finalizing her sketches due by the end of the day.

Closer to noon, Adrien texted again. As he always did.

Adrien: Guess who’s all done and who’s so nervous about today, it showed in pictures and drove my photographer insane?

She bitterly chuckled. Classic Adrien.

Marinette: Nothing to be bragging about. I thought you were a professional?

Adrien: I am. That’s why I’m done already. All you have to do is to imagine spaghetti. :3

Marinette: Dork.

Adrien: Proudly so.

Adrien: Marinette, thank you. I REALLY appreciate you being with me on this one. Honestly, I just can’t do this alone, and I wanted to do this for so long now, I’m desperate. So, your help means a lot.  

I don’t want to help you, Marinette grumbled to herself.

That’s what friends are for, right? she wrote instead.

Adrien: She’s just so amazing, it terrifies me to lose her, but I can’t imagine myself being with anyone else. We’re perfect for each other. I hope you’ll agree with me once you’ll see who I’m talking about.  

Adrien: Okay, I’m downstairs. I’ll drop by after I see Father.

Marinette: Cool. See you soon.

She put her phone on the desk, pushing her designs away. Tears, successfully withheld by the distraction of work, surfaced at the corners of her eyes, as the reality of what was going on hit again. Adrien was in love with someone and that person wasn’t her despite Marinette’s most daring hopes because otherwise, Adrien wouldn’t be asking her for help.  

Someone opened the door, walking in without an invitation. Marinette quickly wiped away the lingering moisture in her eyes. Adrien couldn’t see her crying or he’d know she was less than happy about this confession of his. She was heartbroken, but for his sake, she'd keep a brave face and smile until the end.

“Lila?”

“Didn’t except me?” The woman walked closer and settled in a chair opposite Marinette, a mug of coffee in her hand.

“Not really,” Marinette replied coldly. She hated Lila for lies and manipulations. Why M Agreste hired her as a model was beyond her. “What do you want?”

“I’ve come to warn you,” Lila said, ceremonially checking her nails.

Marinette quirked an eyebrow. “About what?”

Lila smirked, putting her mug down on a table. “Adrien and I are going public today, and we’d like you to stay out of it.”

Marinette inwardly growled. There was no way that could’ve been true! Yes, Lila was not so subtly trying to get Adrien’s attention for a while now, but as far as Marinette knew, Adrien was tolerating her antics only out of innate politeness and kindness of his heart, not affection.

“You’re lying,” she seethed. “Adrien had never mentioned—”

“That’s because he knew you don’t like me, and he wanted to spare your feelings since you’re his friend and all.” Lila shrugged. “But we’ve been secretly dating for a while now. Not anymore, though.” She smirked. “Adrien’s taking me out for lunch on our first official date today. But, to make it easier for everyone, I thought I’d warn you”—Lila’s face became stone-cold, her voice and glare matching—“stay out of my boyfriend’s life or you’ll regret it, Marinette.”

“What if I won’t?” Marinette barked without thinking twice. “He’s my friend. I have a right to—"

“You have absolutely no rights when it comes to my boyfriend.”

“I won’t believe it until I hear it from him personally.”

“You shall see it on the news tonight."

Lila’s sly smile promised nothing good as she stood up, picked up her coffee, and turned around to leave. Her hand swayed. Marinette’s blood ran cold because the mug in Lila’s hands tipped over, all of the coffee inside spilling all over Marinette’s desk, her sketches and her outfit. “Oops! Clumsy me.”

“You!” Marinette rushed to save what she could of her work.

“Stay away from Adrien or this will only be the start,” Lila whispered, leaning closer. “He’s mine.”

“Oh my gosh! What happened here? Marinette, are you alright?” Adrien suddenly appeared by her side.

“Adrien,” Lila cooed. “You’re just in time. We have to help Marinette. She spilled her coffee all over her hard work.” She picked up a few coffee-drenched papers, making a show out of trying to save them. “You’re such a klutz, girl. Let me help you before you do any more damage.”

Marinette glared at Lila, pressing her lips into a thin line.

“Marinette, are you okay?” Adrien took her by the shoulders and turned to face him.  

“Of course, she isn’t,” Lila interfered. “Just look at her: the poor thing’s all soaked. And doesn’t she look pale to you? She might be getting sick. We should ask your father to give her a day off. Or better yet send someone to do that. We don’t want to be late for lunch. I'll go call someone.”

The moment Lila stepped out of the room, Marinette looked at Adrien and asked, “Are you really taking her out for lunch?”

Adrien pressed his lips together, looking away as he nodded.

Lost for words, lost for actions, lost for anything, all Marinette could do was to stare at the ground.

“It’s not—”

“Oh my gosh! Marinette, what happened?” Alya pushed Adrien to the side and took her friend by her shoulders. “You’re all soaked.”

“Found her wandering down the hall,” Lila looped her hand around Adrien’s arm. “She’s here to pick up Marinette for lunch which reminds me that we need to go now or we’ll be late for our reservation. The girls can take care of this mess by themselves, right Marinette?”

Marinette wanted nothing more than to slap Lila and take Adrien away. He deserved so much better! How could he fall for Lila? Didn’t he see what kind of a person Lila was? Didn’t he know how she felt about her? How could he ask her advice on this? Tears pooled in her eyes. Adrien was her best friend. She loved him, but this hurt too much. It felt too much as a betrayal, and if Adrien cared for her so little as to ask her for advice on how to woo her enemy, then Marinette didn’t want him to see how much that pained her.

“I’ll be fine with Alya.” Marinette turned away to gather her papers. “This is my mess; I’ll clean it up. You should go.”

“What’s going on here?” Gabriel Agreste himself appeared behind them.

“Marinette spilled coffee all over herself and her work,” Lila rushed to explain.

“Father, I think—”

“You should clean up and take a day off,” Gabriel interceded. “I’ll give you an extension on those. Now, Adrien. Why are you still here? Don’t you have lunch to go to?”

Adrien glanced at Marinette, then to his father. His lips pressed into a thin line. “Yes, I do.”

"Then off you go. Mlle Dupain-Cheng would be fine without you.”

“Right.” Adrien reached forward to lightly touch Marinette’s elbow. “I’ll call you later,” he mouthed and walked out the room with Lila Rossi on his arm.

Adrien didn’t contact her until the very evening when exhausted from the day, Marinette put the work she took home away and went for a stroll.

Adrien: Hey. Sorry, I had a few things to settle. How are you?

She closed her eyes for a moment, before looking back at the Seine. The gentle lure of waves calmed. It mesmerized and relaxed. Marinette always came here when she was stressed, or tired, or needed a pick me up. She couldn’t explain it, but there was something soothing and healing about gazing at the passing-by waters of the Seine. Her own safe haven, a little oasis in the desert of stress and chaos. Today, Marinette needed it more than ever.

Adrien: Marinette? Is everything okay?

No. Nothing was okay, and she’d rather not talk to him now, but… years of friendship and her treacherous heart demanded otherwise. He hurt her, but it was also him, who she wanted to comfort her right now. Pathetic, she knew that, but better texts than face to face.

Marinette: Everything’s fine. Taking a walk.

Adrien: Where are you off to?

Marinette: [image 1509]

Adrien: Pont des Arts?

Marinette: You know your Paris well.

Adrien took five minutes to reply, but when he did, he did so in person. “I know you well. You always come here when you need to calm down or to think things over.”

Marinette whipped around. Adrien was standing just a few meters away. Trying to catch his breath, he ran his hands through his dishevelled hair to fix it back in somewhat decent shape.

“Adrien? What are you doing here?”

“I need to ask you something.” He walked closer, stopping only when Marinette was pressed flash against the bridge, his hands on either of her sides, his face inches from hers. "Why didn't you expose her?”

Marinette blinked. “What?”

“You didn’t spill that coffee. Lila did. And don’t even try to deny it. You never bring drinks in your office unless it’s in an air-tight container because you think you’re too clumsy.”

Marinette shifted her eyes to the side. “I am clumsy.”

“Just a tiny, adorable amount. Nothing serious.” He cocked his head to the side. “So? Why did you let her get away with it?”

Marinette looked away. She hated Lila and Adrien knew that. What did he expect her to say? Why did he even come here? He should go back to that liar girlfriend of his.

“It’s so unlike you. I want to know what’s going on.”

She didn't know what to answer him, so she remained silent.

“Marinette, please? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

“Then look me in the eyes and repeat that.”

She tried and failed. Adrien sighed and pulled her into his arms, whispering into her ear. “Marinette, please. Why did you allow her to walk all over you? You never did that before. What’s happened? You know I won’t leave you alone until you tell me.”

She closed her eyes. The gentle tone of his voice, the comforting wrap of his arms around her, his body’s warmth so close to hers… It stirred those damn butterflies at the pit of her belly, ripping through her heart at the same time… because he’d betrayed her. He’d fallen in love with the only girl whose guts Marinette hated more than anything and there was nothing either of them could do because who could control their heart? Adrien couldn’t help loving who he did… which, however, didn’t mean he could be so inconsiderate of her. He knew she hated Lila!

“Marinette?”

She pushed him away. It hurt to remain in his embrace any longer.

“Mari…”

“Leave me alone. Go to your girlfriend.”

His eyes widened as he stared at her in shock. “My girlfriend?”

“Lila.”

“Lila?!”

“Yes, Lila,” Marinette huffed, turning her back to him, her face to the Seine. “Can’t believe you had the audacity to ask me of all people for advice on that. You know how I feel about her!”

Her eyes focused on the rolling waves as Marinette waited for an answer that didn’t come for a few moments and not until Adrien walked to stand beside her, searching her face with his eyes.

“Just to make sure I understood you correctly: you think I’m in love with Lila?”

“Aren’t you? You took her to lunch just as you said you would.”

Adrien laughed, leaning on his arms to rest on the bridge. “Marinette, you know me better than that. I took Lila to lunch only because my father blackmailed me to do so.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “A likely story.”

“No, really. He said Lila dug some dirt on him and her price for silence was me. And Father, knowing you’re my friend, threatened to fire you if I won’t comply.”

Marinette looked at him, her eyebrows knitted into a frown. “What?”

“Don’t worry, your job is safe, and I made it clear to both of them that I’m not taking part in any of their bullshit. If Father wants her silence, he’d better pay for it some other way.” Gently, Adrien cupped her shoulder, turning Marinette to face him. “Seeing what she did to you… it made me angry. I wanted nothing more than to protect you at that moment, and the best way to do that was to deal with the cause once and for all. So, I trusted Alya to take care of you, and I went with Lila only to ensure she won’t be troubling you again. And after that, I visited Father and we had a long talk about the situation. He won’t be bothering either of us again as well.”

Marinette stared at him for a few seconds before muttering without thinking. “What did you do?”

“Nothing significant. I explained to Father how serious I was about quitting Gabriel the moment you’re fired and we both know he can’t afford me walking out. Not with me owning half of the company in my mother's shares. Lila, though, was harder to get through. She kept dismissing me until I pretty much avenged you. Then she got the message loud and clear.”

As in a haze, she echoed, “What did you do?”

Adrien grinned. “I might have placed my plate of spaghetti in a strategic place for it to be accidentally tipped over and end up all over Lila.”

Marinette gasped. “What?!”

His grin widened. “I only placed it in the spot. She did all the job herself, and”—he leaned closer—“there might have been a reporter close by and he might have taken pictures if you are interested.”

“What? How?”

Adrien chuckled. “Lila hired someone to ‘witness’ and report on our ‘first date’. The guy reached out to me later to see if I wanted to buy the embarrassing pictures of ‘my girlfriend’ from him. I wasn’t interested, but I saved his card in case you are.”

Marinette stared at him for a moment, then erupted with laughter. “You’re horrible.”

“She deserved so much more after what she did to you.”

“Still, spaghetti?”

“Just using her own methods against her, and only because she wouldn’t listen to me when I was nice.”

Marinette chuckled. “Dork.”

“And you like me that way, don’t you?”

“I do,” she smiled, relaxing against the railing. She looked up at the stars and breathed in. So many worries for nothing. She should've trusted Adrien more.  

“Marinette?”

She hummed, turning to him.

He looked hesitant, moving closer. “Were you jealous?”

Marinette squeaked, her face flaring crimson, as she shook her head. “No! Why would I be jealous? I—”

“You looked like you were jealous.”

“No, I wasn’t!” Her face burned hotter with every moment.

Adrien chuckled before turning serious and reaching out to cup her face in his hands. His touch, gentle and warm, sent electrical current down Marinette’s body. He slowly started to lean in. Her eyes widened with realization, fluttering close the moment his lips hesitantly brushed against hers.

“The girl I’m in love with is you, Marinette,” Adrien whispered, searching her face for a reaction. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and I’m the fool who couldn’t find the courage to confess to you for years without asking you to keep me accountable because I’m terrified my feelings will ruin our friendship, but I can’t keep it in anymore. I love you, Marinette.”

Dumbfounded, Marinette stared back at him wide-eyed. “Me? You love me?”

His lips tugged in a hopeful smile as he nodded. "Will you give me a chance? I promise I’ll make you happy if you’ll let me be more than just a friend.”

Marinette forgot how to breathe. “Adrien—I… I don’t understand. You said—I thought—”

She froze, seeing his face saddened, and shook her head. No! What was she doing? She’d dreamed of this moment for years and now that it was finally here, why was she stalling?

He slowly pulled his hands away.

She couldn’t let him misunderstand her even if her reaction was puzzling to her herself, so she grabbed the collar of his coat and pulled him down, crushing her lips against his.

Adrien stilled. Then wrapped his arms around her and angled his head to deepen the kiss. She let him press forward, pushing her against the railing of the bridge as their lips moved heatedly in tandem, years of pinned-up love and desire spilling out. It was only when the air became a necessity, she pulled away breathless and smiled at him.

“I love you too, Adrien. Have been for years.”

His face lit up.

“And just like you, I was too scared to confess. Looks like we’re both hopeless idiots.”

Adrien pulled her closer, burying his face in the crook of her neck as he pressed a lingering kiss to a patch of exposed skin he found there.

“I’ve wanted to do this for years,” he whispered.

“You could’ve if you’d asked,” Marinette replied, running her fingers through his hair.

He leaned into her touch, almost purring from the pleasure. “Can I now?”

“Yes.”

He growled lowly, tightening his hold on her. “Mine.”

She giggled, wrapping her hands around his neck. “Possessive much?”

“Very.” He grinned. “Marinette?” Without letting her go, Adrien pulled a key with a ladybug keychain on it out from his pocket. “Will you also consider moving in with me?”

“What?” Marinette blinked. “Right away?”

He shrugged. “It’s not like we need time to get to know each other better. We grew up together. We know what makes us tick and what we like. Why wait?”

Marinette smiled. Adrien was right. They did know each other well. And it wasn’t like she hadn’t dreamed of sharing her days, her nights, her happy and sad moments, her dreams and fears, her life, her everything with him for years. Why wait indeed? “I’d love to move in with you.”

Adrien grinned harder and pulled her in for another kiss. Slow and sweet, filled with longing, and need, and desire.

“In that case,” he added, his voice raspy as he drew away and, pulling a small box out of his pocket, dropped on one knee. “Will you also consider marrying me?”

Marinette gasped as Adrien revealed a gorgeous ring inside.

“Adrien, you’re insane. What are you doing?”

“I thought I’ll ask everything in one go,” he admitted. “It took me years to confess, and I don’t want to wait that long for the next step. So why not? We can have a long engagement if you want, or you can say No now and I’ll ask again la—”

“No, you really are insane,” Marinette kneeled beside him, cupping his cheeks and kissing him slowly. “How can I say No to you?”

He grinned. “Is that a Yes then?”

“That’s a Yes.”

He held her gaze for a few moments, giving her that goofy, happy smile of his before shaking off his stupor and sliding the ring on her finger. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy in my life.”

“Me too.”

“I already looked up hamsters in my local pet store. They’re keeping a few for us to choose from until next week,” Adrien murmured. “You did want a hamster, right? Three kids and a hamster. We'll start with the hamster and add kids later—"

Marinette laughed and grabbed him by his coat’s collar again, pulling him closer.

“As much as I’d love to talk kids and hamsters with you,” she whispered. “Right now, I need you to kiss me senseless. Leave the rest for later.”

A lovesick smile tugged at his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Marinette echoed, weaving her arms around his neck, losing herself to the caresses of the man she loved more than anything.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, SE02, Ep19

A rare ep divided between mom-tohru & real-girl/woman tohru!

-The sohma’s moma role (ending?) :

Once again tohru is shown as a mother figure. I know this is the backbone of the show & reason of its existence, but it’s been dragged so long now! It’s time the show graduates from this concept & moves on to deeper analysis of the characters. But since the writer impersonates yuki most of the time, I think the show/story itself will stop playing/showing mama-tohru card when yuki moves on/admits his feelings. Yuki can grow in front of our eyes but tohru won’t be allowed much growth unless her mama role is done completely. Kinda similar to a young mom raising kids, once they grow up, the mom will start to see herself as a person with interests, excepts tohru isn’t really the sohma’s mother, so the longer it takes to move her character beyond this role, the longer this role itself becomes stale & known as long last impression. However, it is promising that this is a first where a person finds motherly love in tohru yet sees her as teen/equal/friend in the same ep they discover her motherly charm!, so I guess the story/ show is getting ready to let go of moma-tohru & welcomes woman-tohru!! Moreover, this ep is divided between tohru & rin as equals! Rin acknowledges tohru’s motherly appeal but she quickly moves from it, since rin herself is treated as an adult within the show (intimate with haru), so her initial child-like attachment to tohru is treated as rin needing one last hug/break down before she reconciles/lets go of her motherly issues. We see the result right away, all rin’s interactions with tohru is based on equality as BOTH bush each other in a unique way within tohru’s journey in sohma land.

-New bond with new friend (female power!):

Tohru is the person with most friendships in furuba. Each of these friendships are unique with the other person. There are friendships with motherly/ dependent hint as of yet in the story: yuki/kisa, friendships strengthened by kyoko: hana/arisa, light friendships: haru/hiro, equal friendships: kyo/momiji (It shocked me looking back at momiji’s friendship with tohru! he was never dependent on her & he shared time & interests with her! cute lil boy!). so why is tohru’s friendship with rin any different? Tohru befriends rin based on mutual feelings of loneliness & abandonment at first, then mutual goal, mutual strong desire to fight & protect loved-ones, mutual stubbornness & mutual need to keep the quest hidden from others. The biggest differences between hana/arisa friendship with tohru & rin’s is that the former was established in the tender age of early teens & fueled by the three’s admiration & attachment to kyoko. Hana/arisa tend to care for tohru & shower her with love, pretend to not see her mask, respect the distance tohru puts in her heart, fight for her at times & always try to protect her which is awesome & sisterhood goals! but rin is different. Rin acknowledges tohru’s weakness & doesn’t see it as cute or endearing!. Seeing someone being overly kind for their own good breaks rin, she hates seeing such kind ppl taken advantage of, she challenges tohru with care wrapped in harshness, she fights back tohru’s tendency to take care of her & isn’t afraid of scratching tohru’s mask by stating the truth! Rin is harshly frank & doesn’t sugar coat her words. (sth she shares with kyo). Moreover Rin’s friendship is sth tohru makes in her youth/early adulthood years. soon, tohru is becoming an adult woman who needs to stand up for herself & her desires in the harsh world & fight back to get what she wants. It is amazing that the story is acknowledging the importance of new bonds without belittling old ones. Tohru’s friendship with rin shouldn’t be compared or put above or under her other friendships. We need/give different things from/to different ppl. I love that!

-Tohru the Real Woman:

While the ep contained a moma-tohru reference, tohru was more herself than most eps so far!! her inner thoughts were blocked again but she was given space to interact with others, a space to be a girl/a woman! Glimpses of tohru’s real character with hints of growth!! was shown this ep:

She yelled at rin demanding answers. Didn’t like to be pushed over or ignored!! YES! Showed rin that she too has things to fight for. She stood her ground to the point of making the boys leave their rooms shocked! tohru shouting & demanding selfish needs & fighting shrewdly!! “I have things I can’t give up, just as you do” You go girl!!

She interacted with kyo like normal teenage girl in love for the 1st time pleased with how much he was paying attention tor her & they flirted openly like the young dorky oblivious teenagers they are!

She talked frankly with rin abt the curse & the two bonded over their desire to break it without teaming up together. Rin wouldn't want to endanger another “haru”.

Tohru’s core was shaken with one direct question triggering past/deeply buried trauma. we saw glimpses of real vulnerable tohru as opposed to the bright always 100% optimistic persona introduced since SE01.

-Tohru’s Mother nightmare:

That was chilling, creepy & weird. it was triggered with rin’s “why do you want to break the curse?” which is odd cuz we know tohru wants to save the zodiacs, then “ what can’t you give up? What’s the most precious to you?”..then Akito is shown... weird!!! if her mom was shown, as she’s the most precious to her, then, fine. If kyo is shown, I’d say perhaps he’s the new most precious to her?.. but Akito?? Obviously, Akito’s pic doesn’t mean she’s the most precious o tohru. perhaps it calls to sth Akito said?...what tho??.. that day they only talked abt kyo’s confinement, & zodiac never ending banquet... I don’t get it? what’s so triggering abt a speech Akito said ages ago & tohru moved from it since then. Why NOW it is triggering?

-The nightmare tells us YES, her mom is the most precious.. why Akito mattered then?? The nightmare showed that tohru still hasn’t moved on from her mom’s death & perhaps still feels guilt, which is very common for ppl who suddenly lost a loved one. The “if only I said goodbye, if only I kissed you one last time or even worse if only we didn’t fight that day”... al these guilty feelings are common symptoms of not letting go yet. But what comes after the nightmare is the chilling part! Her haunting face.. what is tohru looking for outside her door? she’s trying to see if her mom is still there? ouch!

-Rin’s monologue/voice-over is giving us exposition of what tohru is feeling & what she needs. Rin notes that tohru is falling apart & breaking down. Baring the burden of everybody’s pain on top of her own buried lid! Tohru needs a haru-like person. someone who sees the real her as haru saw the real tormented rin. someone who smiles warmly for her & gently pushes her forward. Oh I get it now! Rin said tohru needs someone who opens the door! we saw tohru herself open the door after the dream. meaning that this person is yet to be admitted in tohru’s life! Off course we know it is kyo~ duh~ but it’s not this easy or simple. Tohru needs to acknowledge kyo as this person even if he really is. Her realization is her door to opening the lid.

Side Notes:

I know that the scene of kyo/tohru flirting is shown from yuki’s perspective & is essentially made to be used to further yuki’s development abt his own growth & how he sees tohru vs how kyo sees her. but I really wished that visually the scene would be given double importance. show it from yuki’s perspective & show it from tohru’s. You can do that. You actually can show multiple characters equally in one scene & hit two birds with one stone. further yuki’s growth & show us glimpses of tohru’s. Not everything regarding tohru’s development needs be shelved for later. We saw kyo’s face, but the scene moved quickly & tohru was giving her back to yuki when she blushed meaning giving her back to us. (don’t mind me, just slightly disappointed abt tohru NON-mom-mode screen time/focus that could’ve been adjusted better). no big deal..T_T.

Yuki got a mother-nightmare. Then tohru, does this mean kyo will have one too? Does this mean that their lid opening will follow the order of the nightmare appearance? yuki,then tohru, then kyo?

Haru acknowledging, blessing yuki’s growth & new friendships is cute!

I hope this isn’t the last time we touch upon tohru’s personal feelings this season. Give me hints, symbolism. Doesn’t have to be full story. T_T.

I hate/love how hot shigure is!

Shihure’s “ the sound of breaking” is epic! his schemes are paying off & he knows it. My wish is for the curse is to break without any magic involved or any big thing tohru needs to do! it would be best if it even breaks without tohru!!!! I kinda feel a hint of “depend on yourself for your wishes” subtle theme here, so tohru breaking the curse for the sohma’s negate that. Moreover, the hell with the curse & the sohmas!!!! why should tohru bear others’ burden till her last appearance in the show! I want her to let go of everything & focus on herself!! what SHE wants/needs for HERSELF! That’s an epic message for a self-denying & excessively altruistic character like tohru! but yeah..seems it’s curse-breaker tohru story.

Haru wearing kyo’s red shirt!!! which means that is after, Se01, ep.9. he wasn’t a high school-er then. (I’m not gonna calculate how old was he when they did it. lol)

I relate to rin’s feeling towards overly kind ppl!

I don’t like tohru’s elementary style pigtails in an ep where she’s more womanly than she’s ever allowed to so far..=/. Nothing against woman doing pigtails!! but we are speaking abt using visuals to express change in character & growth! C’mon show!! however, I’ll give them credit for drawing tohru more grownup/older/mature in her hospital walk scene with rin. =D! plus her clothes are awesome! 

Who thought that the kindest, cutest & most precious character would say the most cryptic, haunting & chilling words “ together..always”.. tohru continues to hide her pain.

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 11

The past few weeks have been an adjustment. I started working at Jaehee’s cafe, which is really great. As expected, Jaehee is an amazing boss, and for the most part, the people in this universe are incredibly kind. With some help from Yoosung, I’ve applied to start going to college next semester. I had to get Saeyoung’s help with records. I don’t know how he did it, but I have everything I need to officially live here. I’m mostly enjoying my life, which is weird for me. Normally I’m not happy, but here I have friends and a job and little stress. Zen’s performance is coming up, and he’s got tickets for all of us. I’m really excited about it. I woke up today and went to open the shop with Jaehee. I reluctantly let Saeyoung give me a car, but i’m not keeping it. I told him I’ll only use it until I can get my own. I had decided to bring over dinner, as well as the clothes I borrowed from Saeyoung a few days after the whole drunk incident, but that was when he sent me home with a car. Jaehee and I opened the cafe and got through the morning rush. Around noon, I went on my break. I made myself a cup of coffee and grabbed some food, before sitting down in the back of the cafe. I checked my phone. Unfortunately, no one was online to chat, but there was a text from Saeyoung. I smiled. I read the message and immediately grew nervous. Am I ready? I think so. It’s Saeyoung, I’ll be fine. 

Saeyoung: Hey (Y/N)! This might still be too soon, but would you like to go on an official date soon? 

(Y/N): I would love to! :)

I sat and stared at my phone. I feel conflicted. I know I like Saeyoung, but it still feels weird. How can he like me? I’m, well, me… Saeyoung answered back quicker than I had expected. 

Saeyoung: :). Is tomorrow night too soon? 

(Y/N): I’ll check with Jaehee to try to get off, but it should be fine! 

Saeyoung: perfect 

I tried to hide the smile growing on my face. It will be fun. I know it. I’ll have to go buy something to wear though. I tried to not think about the date and just eat my food, but it was hard. What if I’m too awkward? What if he really changes his mind? What do I do? What do I wear? Ugh. I checked the time. I got up and put my apron back on to get to work. I got back to work, putting on my friendly face for customers. Around an hour later Jaehee stood next to me while I was making a drink. “Is everything okay? You seem to have something on your mind,” Jaehee asked. Oh right I still have to ask her for tomorrow off. What if she needs me? What if it makes her disappointed in me? It’s one night, come on (Y/N). And this is Jaehee, she’ll be honest. “I’m okay,” I paused. “I think. Saeyoung just asked me out.” Her eyes widened slightly before she smiled. 

“It’s about time he asked you. Do you feel ready?” she asked.

“I think so. I’m nervous. I don’t know why I am, it’s just Saeyoung,” I replied.

“I’m sure being nervous for a first date is pretty normal. You don’t need to worry. While Saeyoung is interesting, he’s kind. He won’t try anything.” I smiled. 

“Yeah I know.”

“When is the date?” she asked. 

“Oh yeah, um, he was asking about tomorrow night. I know I’m scheduled to work though so if you need me to I can reschedule,” I offered. Jaehee laughed. 

“No need to do that. I can handle the shop on my own, you can go early, or even take all of tomorrow off.” 

“Thanks Jaehee, you really are the best.” After our short conversation, the cafe started to get busy again. I did my best not to think about tomorrow, but it was hard and it was distracting me. Thankfully, I kept enough focus to make orders correctly. But the clumsiness did ensue. I completely tripped and spilled an entire order on the ground. It was embarrassing. I apologized a million times to both Jaehee and the customer, both of which were really nice about it. My shift came to an end around 3pm. I waved bye to Jaehee and clocked out. First stop, clothing store. One problem though, I don’t know any. I pulled out my phone and searched for a store. I decided to try one called J&N. When I got there I immediately began looking for something to wear, but quickly was overwhelmed. What do I wear? Is this even cute? I was starting to break down in the dressing room. This looks terrible on me. Why did I think I’d look cute in this? I can’t wear this? Wait. Who knows fashion best? Zen. I decided that before giving up entirely, I would ask Zen for help. I sent him a few pictures of some outfits I was looking at. 

(Y/N): *pictures*

(Y/N): Zen helppp!! Saeyoung asked me on a date for tomorrow and I have no idea what to wear or buy

(Y/N): bless me with your knowledge 

I waited, and waited. I sighed. Guess he’s probably busy with rehearsals. I shouldn’t bother him anyway. I started to gather my things before I heard a knock at the dressing room I was in. “(Y/N)?” someone called out. There’s only so many people that know me here. Kinda sounded like Zen. I opened up the door and was surprised. It was Zen. He smiled. “Hello!” 

“Hello?” I asked. “Why are you here? How did you even know where I was?”

“Oh, you asked me for help so I came, duh. And in the pictures you sent I recognized the dressing room. I was in the area already so I decided to come. Also you really need help. Here try these.” He handed me a pile of clothes. I smiled. I’m glad I have someone who can help. I grabbed the clothes and started trying things on. I came out of the room each time to show Zen. We would discuss and then I’d go back to try on more things. It was actually kind of fun. I tried on the last outfit. Zen and I agreed that this had to be the one, and if it wasn’t then we’d go somewhere else. I looked in the mirror. Woah. I think this looks good. I feel good. I walked out of the room to show Zen. His mouth hung open and he nodded. “Oh yeah. That’s it. That’s what you are wearing tomorrow. How does it feel? Thoughts?” he asked. 

“I like it a lot! I feel good in this one for sure!” I replied. 

“Good. It looks really good. You look really good I mean. I think Saeyoung will like it, and if he doesn’t then he needs new glasses.” I laughed. 

“Thanks, and I think so too. Thank you for helping by the way. I really appreciate it. I would have been so lost, but you swooped in and saved me from looking like an idiot.” 

“It’s no problem. I’ve got to head back to rehearsal in half an hour, but I’m sure tomorrow will be great. I’m excited for you two.” I smiled. I went back and got changed into my clothes and paid for my new outfit. I said goodbye to Zen and headed home for the day. 

I woke up feeling nervous, which isn’t that unusual for me I guess. Saeyoung told me he’d come pick me up around 5p. I got up at 7a to go help Jaehee at the shop. I ate a small breakfast and made my way there. I was a mess. I kept messing up orders and dropping everything from the pen I used to the actual orders. I was stressed. I was doing a terrible job, just because I was nervous. I need to calm down. It’s just a date (Y/N), get it together. But I couldn’t get it together. Around noon, Jaehee nicely told me I could leave. She really was nice about it, but I still feel bad. I was going to stay until 3 again, which meant she’d be working alone for three hours until another employee came. I guess I always mess things up. I hope I don’t mess up this date. I got into my car feeling down. I leaned down and put my head on the steering wheel and sighed. I was close to tears, I felt so bad. It’s fine. You’re fine (Y/N). Jaehee isn’t like that. She understands. She’s not going to fire you because of one bad day. The customers were so-so about today. I probably made someone’s day a lot worse. I wiped away a couple tears and drove to my apartment. Yoosung and I promised to talk to each other when we felt down. We didn’t want either of us to spiral any further. I texted him as soon as I got home. 

(Y/N): T_T today has sucked

Yoosung: what’s going on? What happened? 

(Y/N): well, Saeyoung asked me to go out with him today, but I still went into work to help Jaehee. But I guess I was so nervous about tonight I kept making mistakes 

(Y/N): I kept getting orders wrong and dropping everything…

(Y/N): Jaehee asked me to leave….I still had another 3 hours I was supposed to work

(Y/N): why am I like this? 

Yoosung: I’m sure Jaehee understands, and it’s normal to be nervous. I’d be a mess if I were you too. You’re not incapable, you just had a rough day 

(Y/N): yeah I guess so 

Yoosung: I know so. Sometimes we have bad days, it doesn’t make us any less of a person

(Y/N): thanks yoosung :)

Yoosung: anytime. Now stop worrying to me and go get ready to have fun!

(Y/N): okay haha 

I went ahead and did as Yoosung suggested and got ready. I was still really nervous though. I was done getting ready at the perfect time. I heard a knock at my door and went to answer it. I smiled. “Hi Saeyoung!” He stared at me and I grew uncomfortable, so me being an idiot said, “what’s wrong with you? Stop looking at me.” Saeyoung laughed. I’m an idiot. You didn’t have to be so rude (Y/N) geez. 

“Sorry. You look nice. Are you ready to go?” he asked. I nodded. We walked to his car and my curiosity grew. “So what are we doing tonight?” I asked. 

“I’m glad you asked. Also I’m glad you decided on pants instead of a skirt or dress.” he stated. 

“What?” I asked. 

“Nothing. Today, in this universe, there is a carnival going on in the city. I thought it would be fun to go, and didn’t want to go alone,” he paused, and then asked with worry, “do you like carnivals? Or are you one of those people that’s afraid of all the rides?” I smiled.

“I actually love them. I’m a huge fan of roller coasters and things. Carnivals are fun.” 

“Oh good. I would have had to drop you back off and stopped talking to you if you didn’t.” 

“Brutal.” 

“I’m kidding...mostly,” he laughed. I laughed with him. “It would be really hard to love someone who doesn’t want to do stupid and slightly crazy things with me.” 

“I get that,” I chuckled. The rest of the car ride there was fun. We laughed a lot. Saeyoung really is amazing. As soon as I think the conversation will stop, he starts with something else. I don’t think I’ve ever conversed with anyone so easily. When we got to the carnival, the sun was just starting to set. We parked, bought tickets and went in. Our eyes lit up as we scanned the area. There were kids running around yelling, couples holding hands passing by. Not to mention all of the colorful lights and smells. Oh the smell. It smelled like popcorn and treats. I looked over at Saeyoung, he was already looking at me. I smiled. “I haven’t been to one of these in a really long time. I always got overwhelmed by how many people were here so I stopped going. It’s beautiful,” I told him. 

“I’ve only ever been to one, it was for a mission though, so it wasn’t what I wanted,” he replied. I nodded. He reached down and grabbed my hand, I looked down, avoiding all eye contact. “Is this okay? Purely so we don’t lose each other,” Saeyoung asked. I nodded. Before I could process what was happening, I was being pulled away by Saeyoung. We ran to the nearest booth for some food. We got huge things of cotton candy, as well as some normalish food like hot dogs. After that we ran from ride to ride. It was amazing. While we waited in line we talked, mostly about stupid things we’ve done, or things we like. Then we’d laugh and scream on the ride. We both had our hands in the air, smiling until our cheeks hurt. After we had rode all of the rides I was a bit nauseous. We sat down at a table and took it easy for a bit, then we went and played the different games they had. I was terrible at all of them, but somehow Saeyoung was really good. He even won me a cute stuffed bear to take home. The carnival was going to close soon, so we ran again trying to get to all of the rides again. We were running when Saeyoung suddenly stopped in front of me. I ran into his back completely, but he turned around to look at me. “Wait,” he began. I rubbed my head. 

“Ow, why did you stop?” I asked. 

“There’s one ride we didn’t get to!” he answered. I looked up at him confused. 

“What? I’m pretty sure we rode all of them.” 

“Nope!” he pointed over at the ferris wheel. “We forgot about the ferris wheel!” I rolled my eyes. 

“That’s hardly a ride!” I argued. He gasped. 

“It is too a ride! Why wouldn’t it be?” 

“It’s not any fun! You just sit there while it slowly brings you around,” I shook my head.

“No it has to be fun!” he whined. Has he never…?

“Have you never been on one?” I asked. He nodded. I sighed. “Alright I guess we have to then, but I’m warning you, they’re not that fun.” He grabbed my hand again and ran towards the ferris wheel. This is probably the last thing we'll be riding. I forgot his childhood was hard, he’s never even been on a ferris wheel. I have to find a way to make it more interesting. We got into the line and waited. When it was our turn we got into the cart thing. Saeyoung was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. I smiled. I guess it’s a little exciting. The wheel began to move, then stopped for more people to get on. Finally, it filled and began to move. I watched as Saeyoung calmed down, he almost looked disappointed. He looked over at me. “Yeah you’re right. This is boring. Why do people even go on these?” he asked. I laughed. “I’m serious why?” 

“Do you really not know? Or are you screwing with me?” I asked. How would he not know why people typically ride these? 

“I seriously don’t know. I thought they were popular because they’re fun, but clearly that’s not right.” He looks serious. He really doesn’t know? How am I supposed to tell him couples come up here because it’s romantic? Nope. I’m not doing that. He’ll figure it out eventually. He kept looking at me waiting for an answer. I sighed. “It’s for the view,” I told him. Not a complete lie. 

“Oh,” he replied. He looked out over where we were. Sure enough the view was amazing. The cityscape beneath us, and Saeyoung here next to me. I could see the city lights in his eyes, it only made his eyes even more beautiful, which I didn’t think was possible. I hadn’t noticed how long I had been staring at him until he turned and looked at me. “Need something?” he asked. I blushed and looked away. Quick think of something to change the subject….

“Yeah,” I looked back at him. 

“Go on,” he laughed. 

“Wanna know how to make this more fun?” He nodded. I put my hands on the bar in front of me and started swinging the cart back and forth. Saeyoung laughed and helped. So there we were. Two idiots swinging a cart on a ferris wheel back and forth. When we were supposed to get off the worker wasn’t happy and asked us to leave. We had to leave anyway because they were closing down, but whatever. Saeyoung and I held hands as we finally walked back to his car. I was smiling. I just had so much fun, I hope he did too. When we got in the car Saeyoung looked at me. “I don’t wanna take you home yet,” he stated. 

“Are you kidnapping me or something?” I asked. 

“Yes,” he stated. What? My face dropped.

“Wha-”

“I’m kidding (Y/N). I just don’t want today to end, I’m having too much fun,” Saeyoung interrupted. 

“Oh, haha, yeah me too,” I answered. We decided to go and get some ice cream to end our date. We sat in his car and ate the ice cream while talking. When we were done eating there was a pause in conversation, it was the first time that had happened that night. “You know,” Saeyoung began. “I don’t think I expected you to be like this.” 

“What do you mean?” I asked, insecurities starting to creep in. Was the date not good? Was he not having fun? He smiled at me. 

“I don’t know really. I didn’t think I could like someone as much as I like you. I mean, we’ve known each other for a month maybe, but I feel like I’ve known you for longer. I feel like we’ve been through so much. I guess when I went to your universe I expected you to not actually care about me. I expected you would say that your feelings weren’t real and that it was just part of the game, but you didn’t. You returned the feelings I had. I feel like you care. You’re so fun to be around. I don’t know why you’re insecure. You’re absolutely stunning, you’re kind, you make me laugh. You’re just, you, and I love it. I hate that you feel empty sometimes, or are anxious around people, because, really, people would be lucky to get to know you. I feel so lucky that I get to know you. I’d feel even luckier to get to love you. I never knew people could be as perfect as you,” he finished. I sat there and looked at him with my mouth slightly open. No one has ever said anything that beautiful to me. How do I even respond? How can I respond? He took words right out of my mouth. I’m not perfect, but I love being around him. I didn’t know I could feel like this. Turns out I didn’t have to say anything. Saeyoung leaned over and hesitated, before kissing me. I was in shock at first and didn’t move, so he backed away, looking afraid that I wasn’t interested. I snapped out of it and leaned to kiss him back. His lips felt soft against mine. It felt right and sweet. I poured my feelings into it. How much I care about him, how happy he made me even when I thought he didn’t exist, how happy I am to be here. After a few moments, we separated. I smiled and looked down, a bit embarrassed. I could tell he felt the same way. “Uh,” Saeyoung swallowed. “I guess I should take you home now.” I giggled. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” I replied. He started up the car and drove me home. After a minute or two of awkward silence after the kiss, conversation began to flow again. Saeyoung walked me up to my door again. I stopped outside of my door. “Thank you for tonight, I had a lot of fun really,” I told him. 

“I did too. We should do this more,” he replied. 

“I would love that.” I smiled. 

“Can I-,” he paused. “Can we do that again?” It didn’t take long for me to realize what was asking. I nodded. Saeyoung moved his hand to my cheek and kissed me again. I melted into it, wanting to memorize the feeling of his lips on mine. We separated and smiled at each other again. “I’ll see you then, have a good night,” Saeyoung said. 

“Thanks, you too.” I moved to hug him before he left. After we hugged, we said goodbye once again and Saeyoung left. I went inside my apartment and smiled. Wow. A whole night where I didn’t feel anything, but happiness. I can’t remember the last time that happened. I got ready for bed, but found that I was unable to sleep. Normally, I can’t sleep because I’m thinking about all the stupid things I did that day, but tonight was different. I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about how much fun I had and wondering when I’d get to see him next. Eventually, my thoughts slowed and I slept.

[elencelebrindal]

Favourite colour, music, film, anime? I'm curious

Uuhhh, sorry for the wait, this ask has been waiting in my inbox for a lot by now, but let me answer you. Some of these answers are really long, so I marked them with a title in case people are not interested in everything. Though, I don’t think many people would be interested at all, my life is not that eventful. 

Favorite Color

My favorite color is black (even though black is not technically a color, damn you art school why did you have to teach me that), closely followed by blood red and silver. 

Favorite Music

My favorite music... I don’t really understand if you’re asking me what genre I prefer, or who do I prefer listening to, so I’ll just go the safe route and answer everything at once.  I love metal (especially power metal, epic metal and folk metal, with a significance preference for its viking sub-genre), and I am in love with Blind Guardian, the first ever band I listened to. I still remember the first song I’ve ever listened, which is “Noldor (Dead Winter Reigns)”. Being a Tolkien fan led me to discover them, and subsequently to fall in love with the genre. Among my favorites there’s also Nightwish, Epica, Alestorm, and I’m baffled by Sabaton and Korpiklaani. I do listen to a bunch more bands, but not as much and I don’t know as many songs. 

But it’s not my one and only love. Aside from metal music, I also love classic music (I am deeply in love with a ton of Italian composers alongside the others), dark cabaret music (most notably Aurelio Voltaire, Dresden Dolls and Emilie Autumn, though her style doesn’t really fall into one single category), and I go crazy with anime music and openings.  I appreciate the music of anime so much, even though a lot of people don’t think highly of it, and since childhood I’ve always listened to our “opening singers” (the most important I grew up listening to are Cristina d’Avena and Giorgio Vanni), so I simply cannot stop loving them.  On a similar note, I cannot have enough of movie soundtracks. Composers like Howard Shore, Ennio Morricone, Hans Zimmer... the list could go on forever. I never get tired of their music. Again, videogame soundtracks are on the list of my beloved music as well, especially the music from Skyrim (Jeremy Soule) and Assassin’s Creed (Jesper Kyd). 

Favorite film/movie

I don’t really have one favorite. I do have a list of movies that I could watch over and over again, though, and others I just have fun watching even though they’re not my favorites.  The Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Hobbit trilogy are absolutely on the top of my list. As I said, I’m a huge fan of Tolkien, and I’m also a huge fan of Peter Jackson. Add them together and BOOM! I am a tiny bit bitter about the Hobbit movies, but seriously? I still loved it.  Right after them there’s ALL the movies by Tim Burton, Alice in Wonderland and its sequel on top. I love Tim Burton, so much I cannot even explain it. And Alice in Wonderland has a very special place in my heart. 

[story time, you can skip if you want]

Not just because I love the story and the craziness of everything, but because back in high school (my last year) we decided to do Alice in Wonderland with a twist for our theater lab, and I not only got to write the entire script, but also to play the Cheshire Cat alongside all of my friends. My best friend was Alice, my other best friend was the costume designer, a lot of other people I knew and loved were the other characters. It’s such a delightful memory for me that I never stopped enjoying Alice in Wonderland from that day onward.  I got so involved with my part that I ended up making an entire steampunk-ish cosplay of the Cheshire Cat from scratch, a cosplay I brought two times to a convention and I’m currently renovating after taking it apart. This is how much I grew attached to that play and to that character.  Some years ago, before this, we had a director guiding us for two years of theater lab. A delightful man that looked at me and decided I needed to be addressed as “Alice” because of how much I reminded him of her.  It’s just good memories. 

[end of the story time]

I also have the “classics”, like Harry Potter, Star Wars, and the like. If it’s fantasy/sci-fi/something along those lines, I probably love it. Regardless of who made it, being it the writer or the director.  One particular movie that holds a special place in my heart is “The Fall”, and I cannot really pinpoint a reason why I love it so much. I just do.  There’s many titles I can tell you, even more serious ones like “The Imitation Game”, “The Danish Girl”, or “Dallas Buyers Club” and “Fight Club”.  Even though I prefer fantasy themes, there’s significant exceptions.  Old Italian movies are among my favorites too, but they’re just a drop in the ocean.  To close this, I’m going to bring you my love for the entire “Night at the Museum” ordeal and the entire “Jumanji” series (as of now, but I will never love anything more than the original).  I get really excited when I get to talk about this kind of interests, sorry T_T

Favorite Anime

Oh boy.  This sounds like it might be an easy one, given the nature of this blog, but it’s actually not.  In fact, I forgot Saint Seiya was my favorite anime.  You see, I originally watched it when I was nothing but a child, with a memory that obviously wasn’t so good at the time. This eventually led me to forget about how much I loved Saint Seiya, even though its characters never left my mind, and I started gravitating more towards Yu-Gi-Oh!, especially 5D’s. For the longest time I was convinced my absolute favorite was Yu-Gi-Oh!, until I finally started re-watching Saint Seiya and got hit by the memory train. 

But let’s not wander too far away from the question. What’s my favorite anime? Of all time is Saint Seiya, hands down. It has so much to offer, so much diversity, so much story and so many characters. Here in Italy, it has one of the most unique dubs of all time, with dialogues that are aulic (for the Italian fans who are curious --> l’origine del registro aulico dei Cavalieri dello Zodiaco è stato deciso da Enrico Carabelli e  Stefano Cerioni ed è spiegato in questo video, ed è poi stato mantenuto da Ivo de Palma nella serie di Hades) and filled with quotes from authors like Dante Alighieri, Ugo Foscolo and more, an “oddity” that made me fall in love again and again. 

Aside from this, I have another list, because I honestly cannot bring myself to choose only one.  Above all are Yu-Gi-Oh! (in order from best to worst for me --> 5D’s, Duel Monsters, GX, ZeXal, Vrains, Arc-V), My Hero Academia, and Sailor Moon.  Honorable mentions are Attack on Titan, Black Butler, Another, Pretty Cure ( spent basically my entire childhood/teenage years watching them, my favorites are the first two series), One Piece, Dragon Ball, Naruto, Beyblade, Tokyo Mew Mew... this could go on forever.  I’m a sucker for “old” anime as well, so a lot of them are mostly from the 70′s, 80′s, 90′s. Some of them I was so little when I watched it, like for example Card Captor Sakura (I was like three years old and I dressed up as her for Carnival), that I don’t remember them but they still have a place in my heart.  I wasn’t even fixated on one genre and that was it, I watched the hell out of anime and I still do (when I have time). 

I do also watch yaoi (shame on me, I know), and since I’m here telling you about my favorites: I love Dramatical Murder, especially (and you might not believe me) for how creative the story and the worldbuilding are. I’m also shameless enough to have watched the entire game in all its incarnations, so there’s that.  Not only that, I’m shameless enough to have watched more explicit ones, but I’m not telling you ;) I have a reputation here, after all. 

This took a long time for me to answer, and I’m sorry. I legit looked at this in my inbox, tried to conjure up some will to write, failed and went back to bed or to my books. Rinse and repeat for an entire week.  And to all of you who actually made it through this entire thing without getting annoyed/bored, damn you’re determined. 

[commander-yinello]

Something in the Shadows (Jumin x Zen)

Happy Halloween <3 I’ve been busy but I really wanted to write a spoopy JuZen to see if I could. This is my first horror so I hope I can give you a bit of creepy (and if I can’t, some fluff ~_^). Please enjoy!

Like what I do? Please tip me a kofi so I can write faster!

Word Count: 5344 (this was meant to be a drabble, oops xD) Warnings: Horror, mindfuckery (no gore)

~~~

There were so many stars. Zen sat on a stone stairway staring up at them, an empty beer glass still in hand. Behind him, the RFA party continued in all its noise and lights, not caring that he had stepped out.

He heard footsteps coming closer, and next to him the most familiar dark-haired man in a suit sat down, missing his usual glass of red wine.

"Didn't expect you here,” Zen remarked. Wasn't the CEO-to-be scared to ruin his suit? The thought of stained pants amused him greatly.

"I needed a break from all the reporters," Jumin replied.

Zen sighed. "You too huh?"

The two sat in silence for quite some time and Zen mulled over everything that had happened in the past week. All this trouble and it was the jerk who was there for him the most. He pushed down the thoughts quickly - he didn’t want to ruin this evening.

"Hey… I wanted to thank you. For helping me. I really thought I was done for."

"It was a small effort, Zen. I am glad I could help you."

"Well it's a big deal for me,” Zen emphasized. No doubt in a few seconds Jumin would push another stupid cat thing in his face and Zen would hate him for it, but for now Zen wanted him to know how grateful he was.

Jumin accidentally brushed their knees together. Trust Fund must have had a bit of wine, because the guy pulled his leg back and looked embarrassed about it too. Zen felt the biggest grin forming. In a childish moment, Zen wanted to knock their shoulders together. 

Unfortunately gravity was not his friend, and he ended up nearly falling onto Jumin.

"You're drunk," Jumin said, as he carefully pushed Zen upwards.

Still grinning, Zen brushed his ponytail back but didn't make an effort to leave Jumins personal space. "I'm not drunk, I'm tipsy. And so are you."

"What is the difference?"

"We get to be slightly foolish instead of completely foolish."

Zen wanted to make another joke, but Jumin grabbed his beer glass and set it next to him. Zen stared at the glass and then back at Jumin, whose face was very close.

“Is that so?” Jumin said. It was a joke, maybe one to get a rise out of him, but Zen found himself leaning forward.

He smells nice, Zen thought. The wine, the cologne, the freshness of a recently dry-cleaned suit and a soft husky leather smell Jumin always carried combined were nostalgic. 

Zen wasn’t aware of the kiss until a few seconds later, when his brain caught up and registered soft lips against his. When they separated, their noses still touched, both not saying a word or daring to breathe too loudly.

Zen felt his face burning. What had he done? When had he leaned in? What in the world was he thinking? And why wasn’t Jumin punching his face flat right now, instead staring as if frozen?

He suddenly felt shivers run down his spine. As if someone’s stare pierced right through his soul. He turned around immediately, but no one was behind them.

“Zen?” Jumin asked, and Zen found he couldn’t deal with Jumin’s deep gray eyes right now, who were desperately searching for his reaction.

“I think someone was watching us.” Stumbling, Zen grabbed his glass and got up. “I should go.”

Every fibre of his being told him to turn around, back to the stairs. But he couldn’t stop his feet from moving towards the light, the noise and the faceless people that didn’t confront him with his confusing feelings.

~~~

What a party! - 20:05, 707, Yoosung☆, Jumin Han, ZEN, Jaehee Kang

707: another RFA success in the pocket! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Jaehee Kang: I was a bit worried though. What if that crazy fan had shown up?

Yoosung☆: I know what you mean Jaehee, she did manage to make people believe she was dating Zen! She even had realistic-looking articles online! That’s scary!

707: yeah, but one quick speech from the actor man himself and the press ate it up No doubt she will vanish into internet obscurity ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴

Jumin Han: I too am glad that is over.

707: Zen, you’re really quiet got something on your mind?

Did you elope with your fan? Were the rumors true after all?? ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

ZEN: Omg no Why would I do that??

Yoosung☆: Normally you’re super talkative after a party Zen

ZEN: I know, I know I’m a little busy Also I keep hearing weird scratching sounds

Jaehee Kang: Rats? :o

ZEN: Maybe I checked but I’m not sure

707: Tomorrow is Halloween y'know They say when there is a new moon just before Halloween your inner demons become real And they will haunt you!

Yoosung☆: °Д° Noooo I don’t want to die!!

ZEN: -.-;;;

Jaehee Kang: Stop. Seven, stop making stuff up.

707: How dare you insinuate that I read it from a piece of paper I found last night!

Yoosung☆: Wait, is that the one you tried to give to me and told me it was a fortune cookie’s fortune?

707: Maaaaaaaybeeeeee

Jumin Han: Enough foolishness. Zen, you should arrange an exterminator to search your apartment.

ZEN: It’s fine, I can handle it myself Bye all

- ZEN has left the chatroom -

Yoosung☆: Eh?? Zen left and didn’t insult Jumin about money or something??

707: Jumin didn’t sass him either. They’ve been acting weird since yesterday I miss my daily dose of fighting! (ó ì_í) (ì_í ò)

Jaehee Kang: I noticed it too. Sir, what happened at the party?

Jumin Han: Nothing happened. You all have overactive imaginations. Assistant Kang, if you have time to dream up silly scenarios, you have time to work on more contracts.

Jaehee Kang: ...Sorry sir.

- Jumin Han has left the chatroom - 707: whoo, touched a sore point there

Yoosung☆: Something definitely happened

Jaehee Kang: Agreed, but let’s not dwell on it any longer. I don’t need more work T_T

Yoosung☆: Success Jaehee ^_^;; Aaaahhh don’t want to help with uni decorations today (ಥ﹏ಥ) Why is Halloween so scary?!

707: If you think that’s scary, wait till you hear what *really* happens on Halloween! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yoosung☆: ｡゜(｀Д´)゜｡

~~~

Zen knew he was being a dick. He couldn’t get the image of Jumin sitting alone in the darkness, staring at his retreating form as he shuffled off like a coward. The CEO-to-be had even sent him a message. 

‘Don’t forget to call the director I introduced you to.’

That was it.

It was not like Jumin to act like nothing happened. Hell, Jumin had every right to be absolutely pissed. But he wasn’t, and that was worse. Guilt ate Zen from the inside. The man deserved a response from him, even if it was just a sorry. Zen wanted nothing more for things to go back the way they were so he could tell Trust Fund where to shove it acting like a mom for this message.

How hypocritical of me, Zen thought, for calling Jumin a jerk, when he was the one to kiss Jumin, and the one to run away the second he had to own up to it.

He contemplated getting off the couch when he felt that horrible chill on his back. He felt eyes on him, eyes from someone he couldn’t see, in the shadows of the corners of his apartment. 

The sounds. They were back.

Scape. 

Scrape. 

Slow, then fast.

Thump. 

Scrape. 

Over and over. 

Again. And again. And again.

It rooted him in place. He knew he should turn around. All he had to do was get up, go look and figure it out. Nothing special.

But something stopped him. His logical mind told him that he had to turn, but his own body wouldn’t let him. His hands clenched his phone, trying to stop himself from shaking.

He hadn’t been completely honest in the chat. He hadn’t checked what it was. And he feared that if he did say so, the RFA would make fun of him. And rightly so.

Thump.

Yet he couldn’t turn around. He couldn’t get himself to stand up, or to call out. He’s had his light on since last night. He hadn't really slept, waking up every hour wondering what was in his house, watching him constantly.

When the morning came, he was as stiff as a board and it felt like a fever dream. Now back in the darkness, the dream returned. Worse than before.

I am just on edge because of this thing with Jumin, Zen thought. If I can distract myself long enough, this will pass.

It took another half hour before he was able to move again.

~~~

Am I going crazy? - 03:30 ZEN

ZEN: And I thought last week was crazy Hahaha ….

- MC has entered the chatroom -

MC: Zen? Why are you awake so early?

ZEN: Ah MC! It is hard to explain You shouldn't worry

MC: is it the rats? Jaehee told me you might have them

ZEN: A sound is keeping me awake I don't know if it's rats ...I kinda want it to be though

MC: you want it to be rats? Why? 

ZEN: Don't mind me, I'm being strange because I'm tired Please go back to bed We both need our beauty sleep! ^_~*

MC: hehe okay Good night Zen!

ZEN: Good night!

- MC has left the chatroom -

~~~

Something wants to get in.

The thought was ridiculous. Unnecessary. It made no sense. When it was silent, he could tell himself this. But just as he had calmed down, the sounds started again. This went on and on until Zen wasn’t sure if time had passed at all.

He lay on his side, staring at the door of his bedroom. He felt watched. And when the scratching began, he was convinced something was on the other side.

Something wants to get to me.

Stop this. Just get up. Get up, get up, get up-

When he was on the edge of doing so, the noises stopped.

...

It was quiet again. 

...

Slowly, his eyelids started to droop. 

In the far distance, he heard a car drive by and a dog bark.

His door moved.

Zen’s eyes shot open.

THUMP.

The door shook again. Zen clutched his blanket tighter, ready to steel himself against whatever was going to break through at any moment.

But then there was quiet. 

...

The door definitely moved… didn't it? 

He was not nuts. He was simply tired.

Was he?

~~~

Mad fangirl? - 05:30 ZEN

ZEN: Guys maybe that fangirl is trying to get in my place That makes the most sense right? She probably is angry after that press conference

- Jumin Han has entered the chatroom -

ZEN: ?! Why are you up so early?

Jumin Han: I normally get up before 06:00 to prepare for a breakfast meeting. 

ZEN: Of course -.-

Jumin Han: But I noticed activity here already. Why are you going on about that fangirl? Are you having issues with your security?

ZEN: Eh yeah? Just read above I hear constant noises

Jumin Han: Do you have any signs of property damage?

ZEN: Damage? I don't know

Jumin Han: You don't know? Why don't you check?

ZEN: I don't see why I should Maybe I should call the police

Jumin Han: You could but you will look foolish. You would have a stronger case with evidence.

ZEN: I just I can't check okay? I fucking can't 

Jumin Han: You can't check? Why not?

ZEN: Fuck never mind

- ZEN has left the chatroom -

Jumin Han: …

~~~

He didn't want to stay in his apartment anymore. 

When the morning came and sunlight poured through his window, he told himself it was nothing. The noise was probably woodworm. Of course his bedroom door hadn’t moved. Plus, his front door was locked tight as it could be and the windows were too small to fit anyone in. How could anyone have entered his place? 

Really, it had to be another stress nightmare. 

Today, he would take it easy. Rehearse a few lines, practice a few songs. Go for a jog. All was good.

But throughout the day, he heard whispers in the corners of his home, always behind him. There were eyes following him wherever he went.  And with the evening leaving the sun for the stars, he swore he heard the scraping louder than ever.

THUMP. SCRAPE. THUMP.

He had to leave, no matter what.

The problem was where. Jaehee might find it awkward to have a man over. Yoosung's student apartment was too small. And who knows where the fuck Luciel lived.

Worst of all, they weren't safe. There was something, something within his mind, telling him he would still be in danger. Worse, he might put them in danger. He would never forgive himself if he did.

That left only one option. Jumin and his penthouse, with all those bodyguards and security cameras. The CEO-to-be always boasted how his home was the safest in Korea, now he could prove it. Zen hated himself for stooping so low. But as his fingers shook while typing in Jumin's number, he hated feeling like this more.

"Zen?" said Jumins voice, "Where have you been? The others have been asking for you in the chatrooms."

He had been too distraught to check the RFA chat. But that didn't matter now. "Jumin, I'm not safe here. Can I-" he paused, and let out a shuddering breath, "Can I stay at your place for now?"

There was a short pause. Then, Jumin spoke up. "Not safe? Did someone break into your apartment? Is it the fangirl you spoke of?”

“Look, I don’t know. I just need to get out of my house.”

“And you want to come to me and Elizabeth the Third?” Jumin sounded very surprised and Zen didn’t blame him. He was so on edge, he’d accept being a sneezing mess for eternity over this.

It was quiet now. No way to prove that he hadn’t absolutely lost his mind. Fuck it. “Yes, even the furb- cat. Please, Jumin. I’m losing it.”

Another pause. It took all Zen had not to punch his phone. “...Alright. Pack your things, I’ll have Driver Kim pick you up.”

“No need, I’ll take the bike.” Without waiting for a response, Zen hung up. He ran towards the front door, grabbing his backpack where he had stuffed as many clothes into as he could in a minute. Keys in hand, he cursed the setting sun and didn’t look back to his apartment after he locked it.

~~~

Zen’s burglar - 19:45 Jumin Han, 707, Jaehee Kang, MC

Jumin Han: Zen called me. He is acting really odd. Luciel, can you please check the security cameras in the street near his house?

707: waaay ahead of you Whoever is bothering the actormeister, I will find out!

MC I’m so worried

Jaehee Kang: Me too, Zen hasn’t said a thing all day.

Jumin Han: Assistant Kang, I need you to keep Elizabeth with you a bit longer.

Jaehee Kang: What? Why?? You have no urgent projects to complete. I thought my catsitting duty was done!

Jumin Han: Zen has asked to stay at the penthouse. As much as I would rather keep her in a room fit of her position, I fear Zen’s erratic behavior will scare her. Therefore it is best Elizabeth stays with you.

707: Hol’ up

MC: Zen asked

Jaehee Kang: To go to you???

Jumin Han: I was equally surprised. On the phone he seemed utterly terrified.

MC: Oh no now I’m really worried

Jaehee Kang: For Zen, I can take care of her longer.

Jumin Han: Good. I must go, he’ll be here soon.

- Jumin Han has left the chatroom -

Jaehee Kang: Luciel, I really hope you can find the culprit. I don’t know what’s worse, all this cat hair everywhere or Zen being so stressed. T_T

MC: Yoosung is going to be so upset when he reads this Seven, you will catch the piece of shit, right? She or he

707: Of course! ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿  The moment I see them, I hack their phone and boom! Jailed. Still it’s interesting Zen decided to go to Jumin ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Why do you think that is? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

MC: The bodyguards

Jaehee Kang: The bodyguards.

707: You two are no fun

~~~

Zen nearly crashed into the first security guard he saw with his motorcycle. They didn’t say a word to him as he locked his bike in the oversized garage and ran up the stairs. No doubt they’ve already been told he was coming. 

He didn’t care. Something watched him on the road and it was watching him run now.

At some point he had to relent to the endless stairs and take the elevator, but the tiny space made him pull at his ponytail hairs. He could finally breathe when he jumped through the sliding doors and into the unnecessarily large white marble hall.

Jumin was waiting for him at the door and Zen slowed to a halt upon seeing him. He was wearing his normal suit again instead of formal wear. Zen found himself back at the party, back on the stairs, with Jumin waiting for him to respond. He wanted to say his name, but his tongue felt heavy in his mouth.

Jumin frowned before holding the door open. “I’ve prepared a room for you. It’s the one furthest away from Elizabeth’s suite. I’ve asked my maid to label it with your name.”

The cat has her own suite? The rooms have labels?? Zen thought, then dismissed it. Who cares right now? “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

And I’m sorry. For leaving you. Because we… Because I-! Zen instantly quelled the thought. The well of uncertainty within him threatened to bubble and overflow, and he couldn’t stand it.

He stepped into the penthouse, Jumin taking a step back to let him in. The two of them exchanged awkward glances before Zen walked further, backpack in hand. The living room was so large, he almost didn’t spot the hallway. He would have told Jumin so, would it not be extremely rude to insult the guy whose home he begged to enter.

“There are cameras everywhere except in the bedrooms and bathrooms.” Jumin said behind him, “ I have men on watch at all times too.”

He should show more gratitude. That was what Zen wanted, but cruel irony had that he felt that chill creep up his neck again. The constant reminders of the night unspoken wasn't helping either. Maybe coming here was a mistake. 

“Good. I’m off to bed, I’m really tired,” Zen said, before heading to the hallway where he hoped to find his room fast.

He didn’t want to look back at Jumin, afraid the CEO-to-be would read his exposed soul in his eyes.

He just couldn’t.

~~~

Zen is here - 22:30 Jumin Han, Yoosung☆, MC, 707

Jumin Han: Zen has gone to his room. He barely looked me in the eye. He never did that before.

MC: does that bother you, Jumin?

Jumin Han: It does. I don’t like this feeling. It feels... Troubling. I want him to look.

Yoosung☆: you're really on about this Is Seven right? Did something happen?

Jumin Han: Aren't you supposed to be sleeping? It is a school night.

Yoosung☆: oh come on, I am worried about Zen too! You're not my dad ):<

MC: give up Yoo, we're never going to get a straight answer out of Jumin

Jumin Han: There is nothing to figure out. Zen's possible stalker is taking up precious RFA work time. The sooner this is solved, the better. I need Elizabeth here with me.

Yoosung☆: is work and cats all you think of ;;;; Oh gosh I sound like Zen now

707: You need to amp up the narcissism Yoosung ma boi!

Jumin Han: Luciel, any news on your side?

707: So far not much good There was no one near the windows or doors of Zen’s apartment at any night the past week However, I did discover something interesting The fangirl whose rumors we had to dispel? She was at the party

Yoosung☆: She was?? I hadn’t spotted her Why do you think she was there?

Jumin Han: I suddenly have a suspicion. Luciel, that piece of paper you found, was it ripped off a page?

707: It was ripped off how did you know? o_O

Jumin Han: I need to do some research. Please Luciel, find the page that it belongs to if you can.

- Jumin Han has left the chatroom -

Yoosung☆: ???? what is happening

707: oh crapsicles, I threw it away dumpster diving I goooooo

MC: Ewwww Yoosung, I don’t get it either, but let’s do our best to be there in spirit for Zen

Yoosung☆: T_T☞ okay MC!

~~~

It had been quiet and dark for a while now. Zen had literally thrown his bag and his clothes on the nearest dresser and flung himself into bed wearing only a shirt and boxers. He hadn’t even done his usual face care regime in the luxurious bathroom that was connected to the bedroom, too tired to care.

Not feeling cold eyes on him gave room for thoughts. Thoughts that acted like an intrusive person that happened to be in his mind asking him questions. Questions such as: why did he kiss Jumin? And why couldn’t he deal with it?

Zen knew he could admit it was a mistake. A lapse in judgement caused by alcohol. Gravity pulled him too far and accidentally made their faces touch. He didn’t mean to do it, and it didn’t mean anything, and that was it.

Except, that was not it. Because in that moment, Jumin was not the rich spoiled jerk Zen firmly hated. Not anymore. In that moment-

No, no, no. Zen ran a hand through his hair and forced his brain to shut down the words. It was too much. Every part of his body was tense.

Were they friends now? If they were, then this wasn’t such a big deal. Friends could laugh this off.

Were they-? No!

Was he-? Stop!

If he thought about it, it would be real, and if it was real, the world he knew would change forever. He couldn’t deal with it.

Thump.

Zen’s heart leapt out of his chest. Not again. 

It was here. It saw him. 

He thought he would be safe. What was he thinking?

Another thump, and the large black door shook, the hallway light flickering from underneath. It had found him again. It was watching him again. Zen pulled his legs up underneath the blanket, his body forming a protective ball. It was cold, so cold.

“Zen!” 

Was that... a voice? Jumin? It sounded like him, but Zen wasn’t sure. He strained his ears to listen, fearing that the next sound would rip his heart out of his chest.

“Zen!!”

Now he was certain. Amidst the slow, horrible noises, he heard Jumin.

He sounded like he was in pain.

Oh God. 

Whatever was trying to get to him, it had gotten to Jumin.

“Jumin!” He shot out of bed, threw the covers off and ran right to the door. There was a moment’s hesitation when his hand hovered over the golden doorknob. Then, he heard Jumin’s voice again, and flung the door open.

“Jumin!” He yelled into the darkness.

There was no one there.

A low static hummed in the distance. The cold air gave him goosebumps all over.

Zen saw movement in the corner of his eye. Underneath one of the doors he saw the lights turn off and on, accompanied by a hiss. It was a sick invite to walk into a trap.

But if Jumin was there, he had to go.

Zen ran and turned the handle, expecting the door to be locked. Only to nearly fall into the bedroom.

This bedroom was much larger and better decorated than his. An aquarium lit up the room and gave everything color, leaving Zen’s experience of mere seconds ago but a grayscale nightmare. The ceiling lights worked fine. 

The hissing and scratching were gone. But someone was still watching him.

“Zen?” He whipped his head to the right. Jumin sat on the edge of his head wearing dark blue silk pajamas, a stack of papers in one hand and a cup in the other. Was the guy still working? Zen quickly thought.

“Why are you here?” Jumin asked, and his eyes trailed down to his bare legs and back up quickly. Zen faintly blushed.

“I thought I heard you,” Zen replied sheepishly. He just barged into Jumin's bedroom like that.

“Me?” Jumin asked. “Zen, what is going on?”

There it was again. The dark eyes asking for more. And his legs wanted to turn and run. Zen wondered how long he could keep this up.

Enough was enough. Was this the kind of person he wanted to be? He had to be honest. 

He had to tell Jumin.

“Jumin…” Zen resisted the urge to look away, “On the night of the party. I felt something. Something I’ve never felt before, and it scared the shit out of me. Ever since then I’ve been haunted by it. And I-”

Hear noises. See things. Feel things. Kept wondering why. Why. Why. 

Why you.

Zen closed his eyes, licked his lips and opened them again. Jumin stared in confusion. And Zen realized… there was something more important he wanted to say.

Slowly, he walked to the bed and took a seat next to Jumin. He clasped his hands.

“I hurt you. I overwhelmed you and then ran away. I'm… sorry."

A shift in the bed caused him to look to the side. Jumin had scooted closer, setting the papers next to his lap.

"Why did you kiss me?" he asked.

He was so close again. Zen recognized the scents and warmth that came from Jumin. And this time, he saw a handsome face with worry etched all over.

"Because you're not always a jerk… and I've fallen for you."

It was the truth. He didn't expect to get a crush on Trust Fund jerk. He didn't think it would resurface after burying it for ages, in the moment where Jumin showed a kindness he had not expected.

The static that had always been there but Zen didn't notice suddenly faded away. 

Jumin stared as if he were on fire. Zen wanted to ask how he felt when Jumin suddenly took hold of his chin and kissed him.

Zen relaxed, feeling Jumin’s hand travel up his neck and behind his head. After a few seconds, they seperated, hyper aware of each other’s breathing.

Jumin’s gaze was intense. "I wanted nothing more than to lock you up. Let you never leave."

The way he said it gave Zen chills. Jumin must have thought things that Zen could not imagine. Despite all the time they spent together on the chatroom, the CEO-to-be was a mystery to him. "I'm glad you didn't. I won't run again, I promise."

Jumin rewarded him with a small smile. Zen felt light and giddy. It was not perfect, but it was a better start than before.

Did this mean they were-

THUMP THUMP CRASH

Both their eyes went wide.

“Fuck!! It’s here!” Zen yelled and made a beeline to the door. He slammed it close, locked it and looked for the nearest furniture to shove it against.

Jumin was frantically searching through his papers. 

“What are you doing?! Help me! Or call your bodyguards!” Zen yelled, pushing a dresser.

"There’s no point!” Jumin replied, taking out one piece of paper and tracing the sentences with his finger. “We need to stick together and hold on for one more night.”

Zen’s mouth dropped open. “Wait. You know what it is?!”

Jumin shook his head. “Not exactly. During the party, we found a piece of parchment. I asked Luciel to send me all the information he found on it. I don't know if it is a curse, but it was definitely cast on you during the party. It specifically says here that after 3 nights, it fails.”

A curse. In a silly way, Zen was glad that he wasn’t mad. But the sounds were there, eating at his nerves. And the eyes watched his every move.

A loud scratch made them both jump.

Now, Jumin heard the noises too. Zen grabbed the raven-haired man and hugged him tight. “I won’t let it get you.”

Jumin scoffed. “Don’t be a fool. It’s after you. I should be keeping you safe.”

Amidst the adrenaline rushing through him, Zen could still chuckle. Strangely, he felt safer than ever. The cold from before had never reappeared. With no guilt gnawing on him, he could steel himself against the dark.

The two of them wrapped a blanket around them and sat against the bed’s headboard, holding each other tight as the sounds continued. Before long, they nodded off into a peaceful sleep, heads leaning on each other, leaving the eyes that watched them powerless.

~~~

Still alive - 07:49 Jumin Han, ZEN, Jaehee Kang, Yoosung☆, 707, MC

Jumin Han: Nothing in my apartment is broken. Whatever it was, its primary goal was to terrify its victim.

Yoosung☆: But why?

Jumin Han: I wish I could say.

Zen: I dont hear anything anymore, but I am staying one more night to be sure

707: I found a bit more info it’s a spell that affects the victim and everyone near them So when you got cursed, Zen, Jumin must have been affected too MC: that is so scary

ZEN: !! Jumin did you suffer from anything the past few nights too?

Jumin Han: ... Nothing out of the ordinary, I can assure you.

Zen: What does that mean I’m going to make sure you tell me

MC: Awww

707: you guys never said what you two were doing at the party before you were cursed.

MC: Yeah! Spill the beans!

ZEN: Not now Maybe soon

Jumin Han: Agreed.

Yoosung☆: Awwww come on!

Jaehee Kang: o__O

MC: lmao Btw can't we curse the caster back? Revenge!

Jumin Han: I do not dare mess with dark magic. I have done some reading before. The backlash if it fails is too severe. Death. Or worse.

Yoosung☆: omg what is worse than death??

Jaehee Kang: I hope we never find out.

~~~

"NO!!" she yelled at a tall mirror.

The room was void of anything else. She sat on the wooden floor, flipping through an old tattered book in a frenzy. "He is supposed to be here! He’s supposed to want me!"

She slammed her fists on the book, ruining its pages.

“He was supposed to come running to me, begging me to save him! He should know it was me! Not this other… man who tried to force himself on my poor Zen!”

She nearly tore all her hair out from anger.

“Useless… thing! Get lost!” She yelled and slammed the book shut, before throwing it against the wall. Loose pages scattered around her, showing letters written in ink and blood.

It was quiet, for a moment. She pondered on what her next move was, how to get Zen to see she was his true love forever. A love potion. Or a love spell. Surely something like that had to exist.

But then she heard scratching from the wood underneath her feet. A low hiss came from the shadows in the corners. She jumped away, but kept feeling it. She felt eyes on her, and turned to look over her shoulder, only to see nothing.

But something was watching her.

Even when she closed her eyes she saw, it was here. Even when she left the room to another. When she switched on all the lights. When she tried to leave her house and couldn’t. She knew it was here.

Hissing, and scratching. Over and again.

“GO AWAY!!” She screamed. It wouldn’t leave.

She threatened it, bargained with it, reasoned with it, but it wouldn’t leave.

It would never leave.

[niwiwin]

115万キロのフィルム - 1,150,000 KM OF FILM

The song I’m about to sing is about what’s in my head The lead is of course you And I’m the supporting actor, director, and cameraman

Here is the story of the movie that I make with the film in the back of my eyes

If you laugh and say “that’s ridiculous!” then the hook is all good! Don’t get exasperated and wait a bit I think you definitely will like it Let me show you a little trailer of things so far The tears on the night of our first fight My heart hurt inside but let’s keep on watching We said sorry, made up, and held hands... Look, this scene here of you smiling is a highlight Such a slight gesture that cannot be captured in a photograph There are so many moments of bleak stories turning for the better Let’s cut whichever one out and make that bit there a thumbnail for now

I’m sure in 10 years or so there will be more people in the cast Even now I’m barely managing it with such low monthly pay, I’m overwhelmed already! I’m sure I’ll show tons of my being pathetic too

The day when our family name became one Those same old days Are all beloved days, precious days So that they won’t slip away, so that I won’t forget, I will keep on filming them

Now, squinting our eyes bashfully wishing for eternity Those times when we pass each other and depressing developments tried to tear us apart I will sing this song however many times with a loud voice So please just stay by my side Because I don’t want to even make the end credits

We won’t be able to decide when it’s a wrap So let’s just get blown by the wind I have prepared film for the span of a lifetime, approximately 1,150,000 km

Look, this scene here of you smiling is a highlight Such a slight gesture that cannot be captured in a photograph There are so many moments of bleak stories turning for the better Let’s cut whichever one out and make it a thumbnail

Come, let’s go find famous scenes that will emerge from now on Be it bitter or sweet, let’s get closer and taste it together until the film runs out

Let’s continue shooting as long as our lives allow

I love this song. Just so, so romantic. I often tear up lol. Movies are inherently romantic. Describing a lifetime of a couple being together as if making a movie, not forgetting anything by putting everything on film. I can’t T_T. He uses movie jargons, making the analogy stronger: lead, supporting actor, trailer, (plot) developments, end credits, famous scenes. 1.15 million km is the length of film needed to film for 80 years. A lifetime. Translating just for myself. I don’t know if the romanticism comes out.....haha

[cultgambles]

The Boy with the Letter (1/3)

As you know, Rainbow’s book is coming out literally next month and of course, I’ve been in a SnowBaz mood…and I watched To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, and ideas just come up. This is loosely based upon the film…I hope you enjoy!

Please bear with me, I have not written in a very long time so I feel rusty T_T comments appreciated and loved :)

Masterlist | Requests? open

WordCount: 1482

part one / part two / part 3

Chapter One: The Letter with a Thousand Words

B A Z

In second year, I had an inkling that I might just be the tiniest bit interested in boys. Simon Snow in particular. But in fifth year, that’s when I realized my hopeless crush on him.

And because we’re sworn enemies destined to fight and destined to kill one another, I wrote him a love letter. What else is a boy to do? I didn’t send it off. No. Never. Instead, I stuffed it in an old shoe box under my bed, with other random things I’ve poached from Snow. Like, a chewed on pen cap for example. (Don’t ask.)

I shake my head, trying to rid myself of those memories. I’ve got to concentrate on the game now. It only takes one slight glance up, and I see Snow in the crowd and my concentration is shot again. I shouldn’t be surprised, really, he shows up to most games. He used to be more tenacious back in fifth year, where’d the dedication go? I slightly laugh at the memory. The football smashes against my head, and I hear various people prodding me with questions and shouts of dismay.

“I’m fine,” I say, and the game reluctantly continues.

By the time the match is over, my head is throbbing. As I’m walking off the field, Snow approaches me. This is new.

“So…hey…uh..I wanted to talk to you?”

“Oh Snow, you have such a way with words. ‘Hey, uh,’” I snort.

“Look, I’m really flattered you feel that way, but me and Agatha…we’re just in a weird place right now?”

“What in Crowley’s name are you talking about?” my eyes fall to a letter that’s gripped in his hand. No. It can’t be.

“Like, we’re enemies. No way that would work out,” he explains.

“Yo! Baz! What’s this I hear about you and Snow?!” Dev shouts, running towards us.

Not even thinking, I screw my eyes shut and smash my lips to Snow’s. I can feel the heat radiate off my face, and I use his shock to try and wrench the letter out of his hands. His grip is stronger than expected, so I give up and live with the embarrassment that he’ll have it until I can get it back.

And I run.

S I M O N

OK. What the actual fuck? Did Baz just kiss me? And run away? This day really can’t get any weirder. I shudder slightly and make my way back to the mess hall. I can hear Niall and Dev sputtering behind me, but I do my best to ignore them. It’s nearly dinner after all, and I must have at least five scones a meal to curb my craving.

I make my way over to mine and Penny’s table. It used to be mine and Penny’s and Agatha, but she’s said she needs space and that it’s ‘not me, it’s her.’ Whatever that means. I know we’ll get back together, we always do.

I follow Penny’s gaze on Agatha. She’s alone in the corner, sneaking glances both Baz’s way and ours. Suddenly, a light bulb goes off on my mind.

“I don’t like that look on your face, Simon Snow,” my best friend smirks.

“Baz and I should fake date to get Agatha jealous. Then she’ll take me back!”

“Excuse me, fake date? What would be in it for Baz?” And just like that, I deflate. No dice. “Well what about that letter you found this morning? It’s from him and you can use it against him.”

“Oh Pen! You’re a genius.”

“However, I still don’t think this is a good idea.”

B A Z

It’s when I’m finally back in our dorm room that I start to worry. Will Snow ask me about it? He’ll probably punch me, anathema or not.

Like always, Snow bursts into the room with a loud bang. He’s panting, like he just ran up the stairs, but there’s a strange glint in his blue eyes when he looks at me.

“Baz!”

“What, Snow? There’s no need to yell,” I cross my arms, staring up at him from my bed.

“We should fake date!”

I instantly choke. “What did you just say to me?” Maybe I’ll be the one to punch him.

“It’ll make Agatha jealous and want to get back with me, and you’ll also look good because you’re getting closer to the “Chosen One.” It’s foolproof.”

“That’s the only thing that’s in it for me?” Besides being close to Snow, as close as I can get, really. He must have gotten that idea from Bunce and I silently thank her.

“Well. I also have this,” he says, holding up my letter. It’s a bit crumbled, but I can still make his name out in perfect fifth year cursive. It’s not like I needed more convincing, really, but this is truly the icing on the cake.

“Can I think about it?” I say out loud, even though I want to instantly agree. Snow mumbles a ‘sure’ and goes into the bathroom. “Can I at least have my letter back?”

“No!” he shouts back, a laugh at the end, “It’s security!”

How embarrassing. Snow and I return to our normal routine and get ready for bed. I can tell he’s asleep, because he’s spread out like a starfish, in the way he always does. The moon caresses his skin and I long to run my fingers over his moles and freckles or card them into his curly hair.

In the morning, I wake up later than usual and find Snow gone. Must have gone to get an early breakfast. I quickly search his drawers for the letter, but to no avail.

I throw on a jacket and tie my tie before making my own way down to the mess hall. He’s sitting there like usual, hanging onto every word Bunce says.

“Snow,” I say, approaching him.

“Huh?” he says, getting up. Eloquent as ever.

“Let’s do this.”

He looks around, giving me a small smile. I blink for one second to calm my nerves, and his lips are on mine. I almost melt. Almost. The only thing keeping me from me doing just that, is one hand of his that made purchase on my waist. The other is barely holding my cheek. We break apart, and I’m stunned into gay silence.

“I’m..I’m going to trig. Have a nice day,” I say quietly, shuffling away. C’mon, Baz, you’re supposed to be that unfazed rock, but what can I say? I’m a disaster.

“Yeah. See ya.” He smiles a dazzling smile and goes back to his conversation with Bunce.

I find Snow during the beginning of lunch outside and pull him to a secluded table in the courtyard. “So first things first, we need to have a contract so we’re on the same page about the rules,” I say, grabbing a notebook out of a drawer.

Snow scoffs, sitting across from me. “You got rules? You really know how to zap the fun out of a situation.”

“I don’t want you to kiss me any more,” I say, shrugging his complaint off. One, my heart can’t handle it. Two, another part of me can’t handle it.

“Are you crazy? No one’s gonna believe us if I can’t touch you.”

“I’m sure they will, Snow. After all you followed me around all of fifth year and we’re almost always clashing. I wouldn’t be surprised if people thought we were secretly dating anyway. I also don’t want all of my firsts being fake.” (Even If I’d kill to be kissed by Snow like that again.)

“Okay but you kissed me first.”

“This is non-negotiable.”

“Fine. Then how are people gonna believe us?”

“You can hold my hand.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes,” I snap. “Rule Two, we can’t tell anyone about this.”

“Agreed. It would be too embarrassing, for the both of us,” he sighs. “I, uhm, could…write you notes.”

“What? You’d do that?”

“I know I’m not good with words, and everyone knows that. They’ll see I’m making an effort. And besides, Aggie was always getting on me for that.”

I try to hide a blush as I write that Snow will write me letters.

“I should say that you have to come to my football games, but we both know you already do that.”

He scoffs. “Then you have to sit with me and Pen at lunch.”

“Fine. You have to go with me to some parties that the families hold.”

“Oh,” Snow gapes, mouth open like a fish. “D..Do you really think we’ll last that long?”

“Contingency, Snow.” I make two long lines at the bottom of the list, and put small X’s by each of them. My signature is long, I use my full name. Snow’s on the other hand looks like chicken scratch and I can barely make out the letters.

[btskz-19]

Silently Loving You Pt. 1 Han Jisung x Reader

hey guys!! ahh this is my first time posting a fic haha but i hope it’s somewhat enjoyable !!! im a new blog so pls give me support <3 thank u!

genre: fluff/angst ig ???                                                                                      warnings: strong language/alcohol                                                                    pairing: jisung x reader                                                                                    word count: 1.7k                                                                                            summary: you have a massive crush on your best friend han jisung. too bad he has a girlfriend.

When I met Han Jisung for the very first time, the first thing I noticed was his smile. That beautiful, gummy smile of his that exudes warm energy made me feel safe. I had barely knew the guy and he had me wrapped around his finger in seconds. But he has a girlfriend and I can’t do anything about it. I can’t do anything about the way he gazes at her like she’s the only woman in the room or when he wraps his arms around her in the cutest, most loveable way. To him, I was just his close friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

~~~~~~~~~~

I nervously walked into the restaurant that my best friend, Yeji, sent me the address to. We were having a meal with our new classmates from university, but the only person I really spoke to was her. She was more of the social butterfly kind as opposed to me and begged me to go with her to this meal because I “need to make more friends.” Well, she wasn’t wrong. Besides, it’s not that I don’t want to, I just never got the chance. As I walked in I scanned the restaurant for the table to find her waving my way, smiling and motioning for me to come over. I scurried across to the table and she began to introduce me to everyone. That’s when I saw him. He looked over my way with eyes that held the universe inside them and the most bewitching smile I’d ever encountered. I felt my heart skip a beat before I realised I was staring and he laughed to himself.

“And finally, ____, this is Jisung! And next to him is Sohee, his girlfriend.” She waved at me as I smiled at her, slightly sad that this incredibly handsome man was taken. But of course he would be, I would’ve been surprised if he wasn’t. I decided not to dwell on it too much, after all I had just met the guy, he may be an asshole for all I knew. Albeit a cute, sexy asshole. But that’s besides the point. I decided it was time for a drink. I ordered my favourite cocktail off the menu and started heavily gulping it down through the straw. Throughout the dinner I kept taking quick glances at Jisung resulting in awkward eye contact. He had his arm draped over his girlfriend’s shoulder and occasionally gave her soft kisses on her head.

“Oh, how I wish that was me.” I said under my breath.

“What?” Yeji turned around, clearly hearing what I said, giving me a knowing look.

“I’ll tell you later.”

About half an hour later after finishing my food I wasn’t quite drunk, but I was tipsy. After laughing and joking with Yeji, I used my liquid courage to finally start a conversation with him. I walked over to Jisung and Sohee, who had also had a couple of drinks, and beamed.

“So I’ve never seen you guys around before. Are you sure we’re in the same class?” I asked, words prolonged and loud. They both started laughing at my sudden burst of confidence.

“Haha of course! I’ve seen you. You and Yeji sit further in front of us.” he replied. “But you are right. We’ve never actually spoken before today.” He laughed and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. How did that just sound so beautiful? Just at that moment Sohee’s phone started to ring, so she excused herself to go answer. I wanted to further break the ice with Jisung, and I thought, what better way than to make a bad joke and hope he laughs?

“So, you wanna hear a joke?” I asked.

“Hit me.” He giggled.

“I should warn you, I’m quite the comedian.”

“Oh I’ll be the judge of that.” He beamed his bright gummy smile again and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“What does a vegetarian zombie eat?” I paused for a second. “GRAAAAINS!” I drunkenly imitated a zombie as he stared at me, amused and stifling a laugh, before breaking loose. “Did you like it?”

“No!” He continued. “I’m not laughing at the joke, I’m laughing at how terrible it was.”

“Hey! I’ll have you know that’s a Grade A pun okay.” I turned my head, pretending to be hurt before turning back around and laughing with him. Just at that moment, Sohee came back saying she had to go.

“Ugh babe, my roommate got back to the apartment and she’s forgotten her keys.” She pouted.

“Aww, don’t worry. Do you want me to come with you?” He offered, kissing her on the nose. I suddenly felt awkward and didn’t know what to do with myself, so I turned away, not really wanting to pay attention to their conversation. Sohee said bye to everyone and I smiled at her in acknowledgement before quickly turning around and downing the rest of my fifth cocktail. The booze at the bottom of the drink hit the back of my throat as I winced and started to stare into space. I was kind of sad that they were leaving. I wanted a chance to become at least friends with Jisung, even if it meant admiring him secretly. But oh well, I guess I’ll see him around seeing as we’re in the same class. A moment later I heard my name being called, interrupting my haze. I turned to the direction of the voice as Jisung’s eyes met mine.

“Wait what? I thought you left with Sohee?” I asked, trying to hide my shock.

“No, I didn’t haha. She told me to stay here and have a good time with everyone.”

I smiled. “She seems really nice.” He nodded and chuckled before looking up at me with a smirk plastered on his face.

“So, you wanna hear a joke?”

For most of the night we were talking as if we had known each other forever. He’d told me about himself, his family and his big group of friends who weren’t at the meal and said I just had to meet. The more I got to know him, the more I started to fall for him. I knew I had to stop myself, but I just couldn’t. Everything about this guy is so inexplicably enchanting. But I can’t be thinking like this about someone who has a girlfriend. I’ll have to find a way to be content with just friends. Pushing these thoughts to the back of my mind I continued to enjoy the night with everyone. We had all started to play drinking games and gotten drunk very quickly. By the time we all left it was nearing 3am. It was safe to say I woke up the next day with a hangover.

~~~~~~~~~

It had now been three months since that night, and my feelings towards him only grew. Ever since we met we have become best friends and we see each other pretty much everyday. I also met his friends and became close with them too. Lying in bed, I stared at the ceiling, hoping that a blanket of drowsiness would wash over me. But, alas, I can’t sleep. My phone chimed with a text and I turned over to see who it was from.

“Felix: Let’s play 8 Ball!”

I chuckled as I made the first move before sending him a text.

“You: Why are you still awake you dork lmao” 2:01 A.M”                                    

“OPPONENT’S MOVE” 2:02 A.M”                                                                      

“Felix: Haha I could ask you the same thing” 2:02 A.M.

“Felix: But also I had coffee and I can’t sleep” 2:02 A.M.

“Felix: And also 8 ball” 2:02 A.M.

“YOUR MOVE” 2:03 A.M.

“You: Wowww why would you have coffee before bed” 2:04 A.M. 

“You: Tbh that sounds like the kinda dumb shit I’d do” 2:04 A.M.

“You: We out here being dumb and dumber” 2:04 A.M.

“You: You’re dumber ofc :)” 2:04 A.M.

“OPPONENT’S MOVE” 2:05 A.M. 

“Felix: Heyyy T_T” 2:07 A.M.

“Felix: Okay fine I’m dumber :(“ 2:07 A.M.

“YOU WON” 2:09 A.M.

“Felix: WAIT WHAT” 2:09 A.M.

“Felix: HOW DID I LOSE” 2:10 A.M.

“Felix: I hate this game I’m going to sleep” 2:10 A.M.                                         

“You: LMAOOOOO YOU IDIOT” 2:11 A.M.

“You: Goodnight dork <3” 2:11 A.M.

“Felix: Goodnight ___ <3” 2:11 A.M.

I put my phone back on the bedside table, suddenly feeling sleepy and eventually I fell asleep.

I woke up to Jisung yelling in my ear and smacking my arm. As much as I love this boy, I hate being woken up.

“____! WAKE UPPP!”

“Leave me alone! Let me sleep in peace.” I grumbled as I turned over and buried my head under the blanket. He peeled the blanket off me and I sat up giving him the most evil death stare I could muster. “You know, no matter how hard you try not to, you’re still gonna look hilarious first thing in the morning.”

“HEY you little shit!” I grabbed my pillow and started hitting him with no mercy.

“Ahh! Yeji help she’s attacking me!” He shouted, barely able to get his words out without being interrupted with laughter.

“Ugh I hate you.” I said once I had stopped hitting him. He put up two v signs to his face and flashed his gorgeous smile very close to my face.

“No you don’t hehe.” Rolling my eyes, I pushed him off the bed, chuckling as I left to go to wash up. Why does he have to be so cute when I can’t have him? Although they’ve been spending less time together, he’s still with Sohee. And for that, I can’t risk him being so close to me when all I want to do is crash my lips onto his. Yeji is the only one who knows about my crush. Sometimes going as far as to tease me when we’re altogether. As I walked out of the bathroom and back into my bedroom I saw both Yeji and Jisung chilling on my bed and talking.

“Why is it that you guys always seem to flock to my room?”

“There! Now you look better.” He cheekily smiled. Yeji laughed with him and I rolled my eyes.

“Han Jisung you are going to be the death of me.”

[junionigiri]

BNHA Rarepair Month 2018 - Day 4 - Early Mornings/Late Nights

for @bnha-rarepair-month

Summary: Yagi Toshinori wakes up to an empty apartment, and comes home to a not-as-empty one. 

Relationship: Yagi Toshinori | All Might / Tsukauchi Naomasa (NaoMight)

Rating: G

Warnings/Notes: One of the OTPs I’m willing to suffer for. Need more content plz. Also pls read Vigilantes if you haven’t already T_T

Links: AO3 | FFNet

Toshinori opens his eyes to an empty room and an empty, unrumpled space next to him.

He gets up slowly--the bones on his back, shoulders, and limbs complain with the simple motion. By the time he’s upright, he’s a little lightheaded. Little pinpricks of light cloud his vision that slowly dissipate.

He’s gone early. The voice in his head is solemn, quiet. Matter-of-fact. Resigned. The left side of his chest stings slightly, but it’s not as bad as it is on bad days.

Carefully, he steps off the bed and walks to the kitchenette in his pajamas. It’s as empty and as unrumpled as the bedroom. He’d clung onto the hope that perhaps he’d collapsed from his shift on the couch, as merciless shifts in work sometimes drive him to do, but it seems that it’s not the case.

The only evidence of life is a coffee mug, with the colors and sigil of All Might--a tacky, cheap thing, but nevertheless his favorite mug--empty, with just the stains of yesterday’s instant coffee inside it.

He sighs. He supposes that leaving him his own dirty dishes to clean when he gets home from work is a little petty given their present arrangement. Between them, it’s Toshinori who suddenly has more time what to do with. It’s time to clean this mug out.

And he does--takes the cold mug in his hands, washes out all stains. Tries not to think about how the last time they’ve seen each other is three days ago, and the last time they’ve seen each other awake is probably a lot longer than that. Tries not to think about how living together isn’t much different from their hero days, where they both struggled with their schedules to sneak out eating in cafes on their days off, which are far and few in between.

It doesn’t take long before the mug is cleaned. Toshinori wipes his thin hands on a towel and makes his way to the couch. He thinks about watching the news--maybe there’s a new crisis, a new danger that he has to confront. He knows that all he does is worry these days and feel sorry about his own body that’s reduced to a skeleton that’s somehow still together… so he’s reluctant to do even just that.

He picks up his phone and reads his messages. There’s one he takes time in reading, sent at one in the morning: Staying the night. I’ll be back by dinnertime later. Please look forward to it, Toshi-kun.

So he wasn't even home in the first place, he thinks to himself a little sadly. An apologetic smiley stares at him at the end of the message. Nevertheless, he smiles back at the message.

He types in a reply: Excellent! Work hard! Don’t forget to eat breakfast and lunch and dinner! Do you me to bring you a bento? Do you need a change of clothing? Please advise Tama-kun against smoking too much, and about Kenji-kun…

Before he knows it, the message already takes up most of his screen. He falters for a bit and asks himself why his message suddenly sounds so motherly, but he does not edit out anything. All of them are his honest concerns, after all.

He adds one last line to his message before he sends it out:

I’ll look forward to having you safe at home, Nao-kun.  

*

It’s been a while since he’s out this late. The faculty spent a lot of time on the promotion board, deliberating each and every student in the Hero, Support, Managerial, and General tracks; adjusting the curriculum for the remaining years; poring over new security measures to keep the students safe; arguing over the form of the incoming entrance exams…

The entrance exam discussion took especially long because of Aizawa-kun’s criticisms. They made so many drastic changes to it to give chances for students who have anything other than physical quirks. Took so much time, too. It isn’t physically taxing, but even the full day of sitting with the faculty has his bones complaining.

By the end of it, he’s consciously trying not to pay heed to the shooting pains at his lower back. He thinks he’s made a good show of masking his discomfort. It’s a fifty-fifty chance that no-one’s noticed it, or they just pretend not to, for his sake.

He bids his fellow teachers goodbye in the next minute, and checks the time. He’ll still be able to make it if he runs, and so he does.

Normally, Makoto’s there to pick him up and bring him home, but today he politely asks her to let him handle this on his own. He runs fast, and for an acceptable distance before his chest complains, but it’s definitely far away from what he’s able to do before. He tries not to think about his losses, again. Young Midoriya’s doing a good job of nurturing One for All. It’s his time, and it’s Toshinori’s time to be quirkless, and normal, and…

Breathless. He’s wheezing by the time he’s made it to the shop, which is minutes away from closing. People glance at him, ask him if he’s all right without recognizing who he is (or was). It’s a struggle not to cough out a fresh spurt of blood. He’s grateful that he’s able to keep it together, and he’s able to ask if his order is ready without any worrisome noises escaping from his mouth.

Finally, he walks the familiar streets home, to their quiet apartment in an unassuming neighborhood. It takes him some time to take the elevator, and by the time he’s outside their door, it’s already 10 PM.

It’s all right, he sighs to himself. No matter how late it is, the apartment’s usually empty when he gets there. He opens the door and smells…

Roses.

He’s a little flustered as he peers through the apartment. In a daze, he kicks off his shoes and takes careful, bashful steps in the living room. He holds the little box of Osaka crabs in front of him and takes in the sight gratefully.

Naomasa’s lying on the couch, eyes closed, arms crossed in front of him, chest rising and falling quietly in a paced rhythm. His signature tan coat’s draped over the back of the couch, leaving him with just a neat pinstriped shirt and dark slacks. The tie around his neck is loosened and relaxed. His face isn’t tense, as it tended to be these days because of the surge of villains in town. He’s able to appreciate how clean and ageless and neat his appearance always seems to be.

He’s warm and safe and all in one piece, in a place to call their own. It’s another blessed day. Toshinori feels himself breathing a little easier as his eyes fall on his peaceful figure.

Two dozens of red roses are on the table, wrapped in blue and red and white. Toshinori bends over to take them and put them in water, when he hears the figure on the couch move slightly.

“Toshi-kun?” The other man breathes in sharply, takes a hand up to rub his bleary dark eyes to wakefulness.

“Nao-kun.” He hears the smile on his own voice as he says the name. “I’m home.”

Naomasa smiles back at him. It only takes the earnest detective a few seconds to be alert and on his feet, but Toshinori also feels the exhaustion looming over him. “Would you look at that? It’s finally my turn to say that you’re home late.”

“I’m sorry.” Despite this, they both have a good laugh out of it. He places his gift on the table next to the roses and sits next to the space that Naomasa makes for him. “You know how it is. Heroes never rest… that includes people other than pros. Like police officers. And teachers.”

The dark-haired man hums in agreement. “It’s our turn to rest though. For once, I think I can spend more than just breakfast with you.”

He knows there’s a risk that this earnest half-promise of his can be easily broken, and for a good reason--villains running amok in the city, treacherous criminals both over and underground, massive casualties, anything can break the little peaceful universe they have in their apartment. He also knows that there’s a risk that one of these days, the unrumpled side of his bed might remain unrumpled permanently, that there’s a chance that there’ll be nobody else in that lonely apartment to drink coffee, watch the news, collapse on the couch after a long day--

Toshinori knows it, having lived that type of life for more than a few decades, so he knows that all he’s able to do is to treasure what he has right here, right now.

Thus, he holds the man sitting next to him close, tries not to laugh or smile too much as he realizes that again, he’s used the rose-scented bath salts he gave to his sister as a present. “I missed you, detective.”

“Me too.” Naomasa holds him close too, and suddenly his chest feels lighter and pain-free.

“Happy anniversary, Toshi.”

[survivemiddleearth]

Rites of Passage

-

Crow- Bruh. I thought we were going to be friends/allies in this game but then I hear you were telling the entire tribe how I was not to be trusted and as much as you mock me for my lack of a social game, it sure saved me there! But still love ya and hope things have gotten better, and hey, maybe you were smart for targeting me from the start :P

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmc21V-zBq0 

Roxy- runaway with me noww  oh its come away with me fuck

Dylan- king of first boot

Well mine was short lol. but I think Crow has played an amazing game and def deserves this dub :)

Crow- Although I personally trusted you, you were just unfortunately the outsider from the start and with having proof of Drew/Zach sparing me, I didn't want to risk reaching my neck out for you and getting labeled as trying to play both sides. You were robbed though, it was just because our tribe was so garbage at comps...

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2WWrupMBAE 

Roxy- We didn’t meet in this game

Dylan- king of second boot

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Crow- Legendary flop! You were hilarious and completely messy and if there's any way to bond with me, it's that. Unfortunately flops are always targeted for some reason pre-merge (maybe cuz they wreck their tribe average??? no shade, but) but I would have KILLED for your commentary from post-merge onwards cuz I felt completely alone being the only one constantly hogging the spotlight :/

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfHHv7yOYX0

Roxy- skinny legend

Dylan- you would have killed the lip syncing comp but these losers flipped the vote

Aah, what a fun time I had during this game (from the little I remember). I still would like to say it was a wonderful tribal, 8-0? wow so great. COuldn’t do it without people hating me <3 jkjk. Anyways! It was fun while it lasted and hopefully was fun for everyone that was in it too.

Crow-  Okay, truth be told, I really thought you were like the social queen of your tribe but when tribal came around and people said your name, I felt powerless, as the only person from Pikachu, to try and sway it, and especially when you seemed okay with it. Thank you for having a graceful exit, not many people can do that nowadays....

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CID-sYQNCew 

Roxy- http://sketchtoy.com/68755176 

Dylan- queen of having crazy fast internet. accepted her defeat which was iconic 

This game seemed very fun and I loved the opportunity to play, I wish I didn’t get so busy so I could’ve backstabbed Roxy like I planned. Ah well. Congrats on getting so far I hope the game was fun for you all!

Crow- I know I'm a big reason why you were cut just shy of merge but it was more of a move to solidify Sammy/Johnny (and supposed to be Eric...) and break apart the potential trio I saw in you, Roxy, and Dennis (I mean, now I'm sitting next to both of them in f4 so can't say I regret it :P ) You were a very intelligent, brash guy and I hope you know that your placement was not indicative of your game. Hope the novel turns out well!

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1tAYmMjLdY 

Roxy- MY AUSSIE BUDDY UGH/ I wonder how this game wouldve gone with you here. You were fun to talk to and play  with and i loved chatting about the shows we both loved together/

Dylan- king of being blindsided. second season where I watched you get blindsided from a different tribe. 

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Crow- Thank god you didn't try in this game. I didn't even want to get into the ring with you again and go for Round 3. Thanks for making this one easy :P

Dennis-  You freaking stole my tom bombadil to just be inactive -.-

Roxy- L

Dylan-  making it to merge without doing anything ? queen

That damn bitch Beyoncé got me again huh. I swore I wouldn't let her after last time but she always has to have the last word. Thank god she's been outed as a satanic black witch!!! Thank you to the brave former drummer for walking in the light and exposing her depravity. I will expect my reparations settlement money in the mail.

Crow- Okay I literally feel so bad like comforting you in that round but know that I was completely blindsided by it myself so I really hope that wasn't misunderstood as me trying to make sure you were blindsided asghsgsho but thanks for taking the bullet then! Love a good shiel- bodyguard.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdCslA8xs98

Roxy-  nnnn I remember when I saw you in merge I was hyper excited to play with you. I never really allied with you or met you in games so finally getting to play with you finally a familiar face from your tribe was refereshing and welcoming. I told you to f2 me or im quitting lmfao. That lasted long ... rdfc Your vote off was a mess of flipping multiple names thrown and idols. I feel like we drifted during the day or 2 leading up to the tribal and we didn't really talk game that round which was sad. I really wanted to have you as a clsoe allly that game but it ended up the way it did since I saw jg as a closer ally.

Dylan- literally actually the most robbed person in this entire game. you were missed

This game was pretty fun. All of the people I was close to voting me out and losing on a twist was pretty shitty. I’d just never do these challenges ever again. :P

Crow- You're honestly just a mess. P.S. My beard is now gone because of you.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRh_vgS2dFE

Roxy- hahah hi hi johnny. “Daddy”. You are always a great blast to play with even though we have yet to truly get somewhere together. ALthough in hos we were close it was just a diverging of end game interests that tore us apart. I remember the jokes we made about applying for this org. I had no idea when I was applying that I would make it this far and when I applied for you as a joke haha. My biggest regret is not telling you about the vote and what was going down. Our relationship this game was sort of foggy but it was great while it lsted. 

Dylan- voted for me but you’re so lovable 

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Crow- We were never on a pre-merge tribe together, then you made the big-ass move to blindside Drew at the first vote (without telling me, which no hard feelings) so when it came down to our mini-tribe's tribal, I felt like it was too little too late for both of us to try and make something happen together? I'd say we just fell on opposite sides rather than being enemies. But I hope you've been watching because I know you're an analytical guy who's obsessed with Survivor so I would love to hear your input as a juror.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YShWLjj1TO0 

Roxy- UGH SO ROBBED!!! We had so much potential to play a fun game together but the unmerge robbed us of that T_T im glad we got to play together for one round at least

Dylan-  you and I have a lot in common, we both put our trust in the wrong person.

Hey y’all! This was game was fun and fresh and I did better than last time so I definitely achieved my goal! There really wasn’t anything shady going on until the night I left and I’m sure that was aired out so I have nothing to spill. Tbh I was just bored and wanted to be messy and have fun. It was a fun last night! I had a great time playing with everyone and good luck to the final 4!

Crow- Truth be told, I really didn't see myself voting you out so soon. I thought we were working together, sorta, but it always felt like you had better allies? Which I don't fault you for, I know I was not the most critical ally, for like, anyone in this game, but that's purely the reason I decided to vote you out over Eric. I might regret it though since Eric pretty much shunned me from there on out and I know you would've really appreciated me saving you.....but it is what it is. (also you didn't swipe on my tinder so im kinda insulted but dats fine!)

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM 

Roxy- Hey zach!! You seem like a really sweet person. We didn’t really hit if off and we never clicked together. WE had different allies and diff groups so us allyining was never really an option. I recon its just how the game unfolded and you were loyal to your allies while i was to mine and i respect you for that despite the mess of how you left. 

Dylan- why didn’t you give me the legacy idol. I’m kidding I would’ve misused it 

I really didn’t know what I was getting into here, and I REALLY liked it!! Who knew performing arbitrary semi-public tasks with complete strangers could be so much fun? I wish each of you the best, in the game and out of it. May Manwë smile upon those who walk the world; may Mandos rule with steady hand those who rest in his hall.

Crow- Literally, you were the only one I was just like, hey, he's probably not going to lie to me. And so it's ironic that we also never talked game other than the casual vote here and then....you were a very interesting person though so I wish I hadn't got caught up in the game as much and really tried to connect with you as a person, and for that, I take the blame.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE-1RPDqJAY 

Roxy- Ford!! When I first saw you in the scvanger hunt I asked "are you single ?" nnn you seem like a cool dude and you were fun to play with despite the fact we never really talkde game and we werent really aligned this game/ I still promised you to be honest to you and I think i pulled through on that. It was amazing fun to play with you and i hope you luck in yoru studies.

Dylan- you were amazing sweetie as a newbie you made it so far omg 

Hey guys! Like I said before I quit, I have no regrets about the game and how I played it. If I stuck around the community I would have loved to be friends with all of you! Best of luck to you all and may the best player win!

Crow- Hope everything is okay in your real life and I hope you were never offended by anything I did or said. I completely understand your game decisions and you don't ever need to apologize for them. You were a chaotic mess, but genuine and real, so you have my respect. You also proved what I've always thought you were (even back in Great Lakes) as a really go-getter type of player.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrcMMyNeJJs 

Roxy- rip gl with life

Dylan- I loved how we found middle ground during the F7. 

hiii yes i don’t have much to say. i had a blast and made some amazing friends and just goofed off a lot. No hard feelings, you are all icons...I’m rooting for one of you but i wish you all good luck!

Crow- Okay I love you as a person, but like, you also betrayed me for no reason so I'm a little confused as to why or how we stand now, but just know that whatever your reasons for doing so, it doesn't change how I see you as a person. And even through my bitterness in the betrayal, I will admit, you didn't deserve to go out like that.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSvFpBOe8eY 

Roxy- Sammy!! Weve had a very varied ride in our org careers and this game was no exception/ I feel like timezones really got to us this time round and early on our games diverged when I tried to save stephen and you tried to save Eric.  During merge and then unmerge i think you bonded more with jay and that tribe so we never really played as allies. Howveer i think the way you left did not give you justice. Jay letting you get idoled out after you were one of the few who stuck with her and then her quitting just because people were voting her out. You did NOT deserve that. And I was honestly  mad at jay for doing you dirty. 

Dylan- cirie who ? Jay shoulda used that idol on you you were the second most robbed queen 

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Crow- Well, I had your back. I knew of multiple of your misdeeds in previous rounds and I think you knew that? But game-wise we were very compatible in playing styles (not similar, but definitely compatible - you were the strategic one, I was the......other...one) so although your exit was less than glorious for me, I do hope you find comfort in your gameplay and know that you were really impactful on the game, for better or worse.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXzDu071RdQ 

Roxy- nnnnnn she snapt

Dylan- there’s not enough space to describe anything but the takeaway is that I hope you know that like I actually genuinely care about your well being 

We just want to say a sincere thank you to everyone who came to have fun and played to their fullest extent. Jo and I have worked on this game for months and like we’ve said all along: the goal for this was for everyone to have fun in the chaos and the world of LOTR and Survivor combined. There’s a lot of drama and toxicity in the org community and in the world right now and if this game provided you with any sort of reprieve from either that’s all we could ever hope for. We hope you had a great time, we know we did, and we want to reiterate again: thank you all for bringing this game to life and for participating. Good luck to our final 4!

Love, 

Olivia and Joanna <3