lindalevanimamm

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 16

My first therapy appointment was good. I think they’re a good fit for me, and can help me get better. It’s been a few weeks now that I’ve started going. I’m doing my best to change my thinking and get better, I’ve also started on some medication, which helps. Most days I do fine, but the thoughts get worse at night. I’ve been trying different things to do at night to get rid of the thoughts. As bad as I feel, there is one person that I want to see in this universe as soon as I can other than Saeyoung of course. It’s Yoosung. I sent him a text asking if he wanted to come over tomorrow, or meet somewhere, and see me. I didn’t get a reply for a while, which wasn’t that unusual. I figured he was just playing LOLOL so I went to sleep. I woke up and checked my phone. Yoosung had sent a one word reply, which was even more unusual. Normally he would reply and I could tell how excited he was, but all he sent was ‘sure’. I frowned. Did I do something wrong? Maybe I shouldn’t have come back...does he not want to see me anymore? Thankfully, my train of thoughts was interrupted by Saeyoung knocking softly on my door, before coming in. He noticed my frown immediately. “Good morning! Is everything okay?” he asked. 

“Oh yeah, just Yoosung seems a bit off today. I asked if he wanted to meet up and he only said sure,” I paused. This doesn’t sound too needy or something does it? It’s Saeyoung, you’re fine. “Normally he would have been more excited…” 

“Oh.” Saeyoung scratched the back of his head. “I guess he didn’t tell you?” I looked up at Saeyoung. 

“Tell me what?” I asked, concerned. 

“I don’t know the whole thing, but do you remember that girl he liked?” I nodded. “Well, they got together for a while there, but she broke it off...I think it upset him a lot,” Saeyoung finished. I nodded my head again. Wow, I didn’t know that...he must have been heart broken...and I wasn’t there for him. I should have been there for him, I should have tried to get here sooner instead of moping around. “Breakfast is ready!” I heard Saeran yell from the kitchen. 

“Guess that’s our cue!” Saeyoung said as he walked out. I got out of bed and put some clothes on before heading to the kitchen. The twins have started to let me be alone for longer since I’m doing better. I had a lot of really bad days at first. Days where I felt like a piece of trash and wanted nothing more than to disappear, but I’ve been working hard to get better. I’m sure the medication has helped as well. My emotions overall seem more muted though, I’m never really happy or really sad now...I’m not sure that I like it. But it’s keeping me alive so I’ll stay on it. I walked out to the kitchen and sat down with the twins to eat. Soon after we were done eating, Yoosung arrived. I answered the door with a smile. “Yoosung! I missed you!” I said while hugging him. He did seem less energetic, which worried me. I want to make sure he doesn’t get to where I was. He hugged back and smiled. “It’s good to have you back,” he told me. I broke the hug and smiled at him. 

“Do you wanna go somewhere? We can stay here too,” I asked. 

“Here is fine,” he said with a smile. But I knew that smile, it was the same smile I used to give. It’s not a real one. I decided I’d do my best to try to cheer him up. I pulled him into the living room and set up our game console to play some games. We played for hours, losing track of time. I think he had fun, I did. We laughed and yelled. Saeran passed by us a few times and reminded us to eat and things, which we pretty much ignored. I was starving, so we decided to stop playing when I got an idea. “I have a good idea!” I announced it to Yoosung. 

“What?” he asked. I smiled, jumped off the couch, and lifted a finger into the air. 

“I think we should get Saeyoung to order us pizza!” I watched Yoosung think about it. 

“Sure ok,” he finally answered. I smiled. I ran to Saeyoung’s office, he had told me he had work to catch up on. I peeked in and saw him, he didn’t notice me, so I shut the door and ran back out to the living room. I searched the living room for my weapon of choice, before I finally found it. A new nerf gun I was waiting for the perfect opportunity to use. I grabbed another and handed it to Yoosung, who looked confused. “Here,” I told him. 

“(Y/N) what is this?” he asked. 

“A nerf gun duh.” 

“No what am I supposed to do with it?” 

“Uh, shoot it. It’s a nerf gun. This will be a funner way of asking Saeyoung.” I replied. I crouched down and began to make my way to his office, Yoosung following behind. We acted like spies as we made our way there. I made sure to roll across the hallway for an added effect. It apparently wasn’t as smooth as I thought it was because Yoosung started laughing at me. I responded by shushing him, telling him Saeyoung would hear. We finally made it to the door. I slowly opened it, just enough to fit the nerf guns in and for us to see. I looked at Yoosung and nodded. I softly counted down from three, and we shot. Saeyoung’s reaction was hilarious. He jumped and fell out of this office chair, screaming. Just as he was starting to get up to figure out what was happening, I ran in and tackled him to the ground. I put the nerf gun in his face and yelled, “Yoosung and I demand pizza or else we will take you out agent 707!” Yoosung began to laugh. 

“I don’t think you can take me out, I’ve got a few moves,” Saeyoung played along. 

“Not from my point of view. You have no other choices but to order pizza and for me, Yoosung, you, and Saeran to have a pizza night,” I seriously told him, moving the nerf gun even closer to him. Saeyoung sighed. 

“Alright, fine. Sounds good to me.” I smiled and got off of him, going in for a high five with Yoosung. “Mission accomplished,” I told him. He laughed. A few minutes later, the pizza arrived. The four of us ate and talked. I think my plan is working...Yoosung seems to be enjoying himself. Now for phase two, get him to stay and talk. Phase two began sooner than I expected. Yoosung checked the time and sighed. “I should get going. Thank you (Y/N) for today, I’m really happy that you’re back,” he began. I frowned and gave him my best puppy eyes. 

“Awww, Yoosung you don’t have to go so soon! I think you should stay the night!” I begged. “It’ll be fun~” I tried. I watched him think. He looked over at Saeyoung, probably wondering how upset he would be if he stayed. Saeyoung and I had been spending a lot of time together, I wasn’t sure if we were even official. It felt like we were, and I guess that’s why Yoosung was worried, but Yoosung is my good friend! I looked at Saeyoung and mouthed “please” to him. Saeyoung smiled and nodded at Yoosung. Yoosung finally gave in. “Okay, I guess I can.” I yelled with excitement, making the others laugh. It was kind of weird, being myself around people. Normally, my anxiety would have kept me quiet, just nodding and agreeing with Yoosung and letting him leave. I would have gone to sleep tonight, wondering why I did what I did. Yoosung and I continued our game. Once again losing track of time, before Saeyoung came in and told us he was off to sleep. About an hour after, we decided we should stop. Yoosung refused to sleep anywhere but the couch, so I decided it was now or never to ask him what was going on with him, but he beat me to it. “(Y/N) can I ask you something?” he turned to look at me. I nodded. “What happened when you were gone? You seem...different. Not in a bad way, you just seem to be more of yourself.” I sighed. I should be honest with him, I trust him. 

“Well, a lot happened. When I woke up in my universe, I knew something was wrong. I tried for a while to figure out what had happened and how I could get back. I had no luck though. I started to feel abandoned and like everything was my fault. I felt hopeless, alone, scared. Then it all, uh, became too much I guess. I stopped leaving my bed. I stopped caring. I wanted to stop living,” I paused. This is hard to say. “So I did it. I tried to stop living…” I mumbled. “But Saeyoung and Saeran got there in time to stop me...so I’m still here.” I turned to look at him. I couldn’t tell how he was feeling. He seemed shocked, but understanding. 

“I’m sorry,” he began. “But I’m really glad you didn’t succeed. It must have been hard, waking up and not knowing what had happened.” I nodded. 

“It was. Saeyoung has been taking me to see a therapist though, and I’ve started taking medication. Both him and Saeran had been by my side 24/7 to make sure I didn’t try anything again. They’ve started letting me be alone more though. It’s kinda weird actually. I wanted nothing more than to just disappear, to stop being a burden, to not exist. I wanted that for a while, at least deep down. But, it got worse when I was in that universe. Now that desire, it’s going away. I want to see tomorrow. I want to live. It feels weird, but I’m happy.” I finished. I let Yoosung process what I had said and we sat in silence for a bit. After a few moments, Yoosung leaned over to give me a hug. 

“I’m so glad you didn’t leave me. I was so worried about you when I found out you were sent back. I was afraid we would lose you, that I would lose you. You’re the only person I’ve ever considered a best friend, besides the RFA. I don’t want to lose you. You’re not a burden. I love you (Y/N),” he paused for a moment. “Love as in a platonic way of course, I’d never want to get between you and Saeyoung. Strict platonic love here.” I laughed. 

“I know what you mean Yoosung. I love you too. I’m so lucky to have a friend like you.” I broke the hug and looked at him, he looked even more sad now. “What’s going on with you?” I asked him, my voice just above a whisper. “We promised each other we would tell each other how we feel.” Yoosung nodded. I watched a tear fall from his face, and my heart broke. 

“Well, you remember the girl I liked right?” I nodded. “Well, we were together for a bit, but she broke up with me. When I found out you were sent to your universe, I immediately jumped in to help get you back. I guess it upset her though, and I kinda ignored her. She said I was too obsessed with another woman and I had no reason to be when she was right here. She thought I was stupid or something I guess...I guess I should have spent more time with her, but I was worried about you. I guess she thought I didn’t like her or something. I don’t know, I didn’t know what to do! I just wanted to make sure that you were safe, and I guess she took it the wrong way. I tried to explain it to her, that you’re a close friend, but she didn’t listen,” Yoosung began to sob. This was really affecting him, but I guess it was probably his first relationship. His first relationship that was messed up by me… I hugged Yoosung, and comforted him until his crying slowed. 

“I’m sorry,” I began. “I guess it’s kind of my fault this happened. But I think that girl should have been more understanding. I would have done the same for you, and I’m pretty sure Saeyoung wouldn’t break up with me over that. You deserve better. You’re a great person Yoosung. And I know it hurts now, but you did nothing wrong. You were only trying to help a friend, and it shouldn’t have mattered that that friend was a girl. She took it too far. There will be someone else, I promise.” Yoosung nodded. The two of us feel asleep, once again, together, on Saeyoung’s couch. All I wanted was to make sure Yoosung wouldn’t get to the same place I was in. 

I woke up early, uncomfortable from the position I was in. The couch wasn’t all that comfortable. I looked up and saw that Yoosung was still asleep, so I carefully got up to go get ready. I almost screamed when I looked over and saw Saeran. “Sorry,” he mumbled. He looked embarrassed, and also confused. I guess he probably saw that I fell asleep with Yoosung, and I know that looks weird when I’m with Saeyoung. I think we’re together. I don’t know. “You’re fine. You just scared me. Yes, I know this looks very weird, but Yoosung was crying last night after telling me about his break up. We are just friends, both of us know that and are okay with it,” I told Saeran. He nodded, before deciding it was best to go back to his room. I turned to walk down the hallway, and almost ran face first into Saeyoung. He stopped me from running into him, putting both of his hands on my shoulders. “Morning!” he said. 

“Good morning, sorry about that. I didn’t sleep well,” I told him. 

“Mmm, was the couch not comfy enough?” he asked. My eyes went wide. So he definitely saw that, uh what do I say. 

“Uh, it was, I mean, that wasn’t what it looked like. We both know we’re just friends and it was just that he was sobbing and I didn’t want to just ditch him, so I, well we, just kinda fell asleep, and-” I rambled. 

“Relax (Y/N), I know, it’s fine. I was just messing with you,” Saeyoung interrupted. My face felt hot and I knew I was probably blushing from being embarrassed. I sighed. 

“Okay, yeah...sorry. I’m going to go get ready,” I mumbled. Saeyoung laughed and let me through. I got in the shower and thought...not a good thing. I should have taken my medicine before I got in, but I didn’t think about it. I completely ruined Yoosung’s relationship. I shouldn’t have gotten drunk and said all of that that night...I shouldn’t have made him worry. I could have tried harder to get back. I could have done something, anything. Now he’s completely heartbroken, all just because he was trying to help me. He was trying to save me. I shouldn’t have needed saving. I just burdened him more. If I wasn’t such a burden, he wouldn’t have worried and his relationship would have been fine. I broke his heart basically. I hurt him, my first friend. I noticed my thoughts spiraling and got out of the shower. I quickly got dressed and walked out to the kitchen. Yoosung was up, and eating with Saeran at the table. I put on a smile and walked over to Saeyoung, who was conveniently not sitting at the table yet. When I walked over, he smiled. I smiled and then reminded him that I needed to take my medicine. The twins didn’t trust me with it alone, obviously, so they kept it hidden. “Oh right, yeah. Hang on,” Saeyoung said while walking away. He came back with the medicine, which I quickly took. I ate breakfast with everyone and talked, but my thoughts were eating me alive. I tried to ignore them, but I couldn't stop thinking about how it was my fault Yoosung got his heart broken. Yoosung left after breakfast, and I ended up in my room. Throughout the day I tried different exercises my therapist gave to me, and other things to distract myself. None of it worked. I felt awful. I eventually gave up and just laid in my bed, curled up in my blankets. I always do this. I always make people disappointed, or sad, and I hurt them. I should stop being a burden. I should stop trying, people would be happier without my existence. I eventually fell asleep, tired of thinking. I woke up hours later, I checked my phone. It was already 8pm. I got up and made my way to the kitchen for some water. The lights were all off on this floor of the bunker, so I assumed Saeran had gone to the basement for the night, and Saeyoung was probably working. I grabbed a glass and filled it. It’s my fault. I chugged the water and went back to my room. The thoughts flooded my head again. Why isn’t the medicine working? I began to cry. It had been a while since I had done so. 

Some time later, I heard a soft knock at my door. I quickly wiped my nose and face, and sat up as Saeyoung opened the door. “You’re up,” Saeyoung stated. He got closer, and then noticed the state I was in. “What’s wrong?” he asked, sitting on my bed. I thought about what I should tell him. It’s stupid really, but I decided to be honest. 

“It’s all my fault,” I sniffed. 

“What is?” he asked. 

“It’s my fault Yoosung’s girlfriend broke up with him. It’s my fault for making everyone worry and everything,” I told him. I looked away and tried to keep tears from falling. 

“No it’s not,” Saeyoung began. “That girl wasn’t good for him anyway, she shouldn’t have broken up with him for that. It’s not your fault.” Saeyoung came closer and wrapped his arms around me. I began to cry again. Eventually, the two of us ended up side by side. I listened to his heart beat as I tried to calm down. “You’re not a burden to me (Y/N),” Saeyoung suddenly whispered. “How could you be a burden if I love you?” he asked. 

“By being a burden and making you do too much for me,” I responded. 

“Well I don’t think so. You’re you, and I love you for that,” he stated. I eventually fell asleep again, thankful that someone was there to remind me that I was loved. “Thank you for telling me this. Everyone has bad days, but I’lll be here for all of them,” I head Saeyoung whisper as I fell asleep.

[lindalevanimamm]

Thanksgiving Dinner

(A/N: Hey everyone! Here’s a short little story while I work on the next chapter of Reality. Please make sure that you are staying safe with the holiday’s coming up! Happy Thanksgiving!)

I woke up feeling something moving behind me. Saeyoung had wrapped his arms around me and was kissing my neck. “(Y/N) it’s time to get up. We need to get ready soon or we’ll be late getting to your parents,” he whispered in my ear. Right. It’s Thanksgiving today, and we’re headed to my parents for it. This will also be the first time my family is meeting Saeyoung. To make things even more stressful, this will also be the first time any of my siblings have brought home someone for the holidays. I never thought I would be the first out of my siblings to do so, I’m the most introverted and shy. We all expected my sister to be the first to bring someone home, she being the most outgoing and flirtatious. It had all been chance that I met Saeyoung though, I never would have if I didn’t go to Rika’s apartment. Not that I was going to tell my parents the truth of how we met, they would think I’m absolutely crazy, we would decide on a lie to tell on the drive there. Thinking about all of it makes me even more nervous…. “Mmm, but I don’t wanna get up,” I replied to Saeyoung. I rolled to face him and buried my head in his chest, taking in the scent of his cologne. Saeyoung chuckled. 

“It’s a four hour drive (Y/N), getting there late will make you even more nervous. It’s just your family, they can’t be that bad can they?” he asked. I knew Saeyoung was the opposite of me, he was beyond excited to meet my family. He had never really had family gatherings, or a good childhood, so I guess he was excited to finally be a part of one. Saeran refused to come with us, I told him he was more than welcome to come, but I think the idea of being around a family made him nervous, which I understand. My family can be a bit...well, much sometimes. We’re about half introverted and half extroverted, which has an interesting dynamic to it. I’m sure they’ll all try not to argue with Saeyoung being there, but I know it’ll happen. 

“You don’t know my family,” I finally replied, smiling. I looked up at him. “They are something else.” 

“Well they’re our something else right? I’m excited to go,” Saeyoung told me. I smiled. Our family. It sounds so unfamiliar to me, but it also sounds right. Of course I already think of Saeyoung as family, but hearing him actually say it was weird. 

“I know you’re excited. But it’s so early, we could just be late...or not go,” I tried. 

“It’s only six (Y/N). And nope, we already said we would go! I’m counting to three before I try another method of getting you up,” Saeyoung threatened. I frowned. 

“You wouldn’t.” 

“Oh I definitely would. One-” Before he could even get to two, I was up and making my way to the bathroom. No way was I going to be attacked this morning with tickles or who knows what with Saeyoung. I got ready relatively quickly, making sure I had a good outfit. I didn’t want them to think anything about me, in fact I hoped most of the attention would be on Saeyoung, not that it would work out. He can’t talk too much about his past. I heard a soft knock at my bedroom door. “You almost ready?” Saeyoung asked. I opened up the door and nodded. “Physically ready yes, mentally,” I paused and then brought up my hand and wiggled it. “Eh.” Saeyoung smiled. We packed up our things and got in his car, when I had a great idea. Saeyoung had noticed the smile growing on my face. 

“Why are you so excited all of the sudden?” he asked. 

“Oh, I’m not excited about the dinner and stuff, I’m excited about this drive!” I replied. 

“You’re excited to sit in a car for like four to five hours?” 

“Well yes. First off, that’s four or five hours I get to spend with you. Second off, it means we can listen to an audiobook! More specifically Skippy!” Saeyoung looked at me confused. 

“I didn’t know you liked audiobooks, and what’s Skippy?” he asked. I grinned. 

“Skippy is from a book series that my dad introduced me to called Expeditionary Force,” I began to explain. “It’s really good, I’ll even start from the first book for you, I think you’re going to like it a lot. It’s about a soldier named Joe Bishop and what happens when aliens come to Earth. Eventually, he’s in space and meets Skippy the magnificent and they do so many things together in order to save Earth. That wasn’t the best description of the book, but I do think you will like it. And this four or five hour drive is the perfect time to listen!”  (A/N: this is a real book and I highly recommend it, it’s incredible.) 

“Sounds good to me, and I don’t think I’ve seen you that excited about a book, so it must be good. Let’s give it a try,” Saeyoung smiled. He started up the car, plugged in his GPS and began our drive. I sat in the passenger seat, obviously, and was in charge of controlling the audiobook. I smiled throughout a lot of the drive, excited to listen to a series I enjoyed. We stopped about half way there to take a snack and bathroom break. I got out of the car to stand up and stretch. “Alright, I’ll go buy the snacks, what do you want?” Saeyoung asked. I thought for a moment. 

“Uh, surprise me. More importantly, what do you think of the book so far?” I asked. Saeyoung smiled. 

“I like it a lot! It’s pretty good so far.” 

“Well it gets even better!” I told him, walking away towards the restroom. I did my thing, and waited back in the car for Saeyoung. When he got back, he handed me his snack of choice, Honey Buddha Chips, and we continued our drive. I tried to focus on the book and not the nearing meeting. I was nervous about it. Would my family like Saeyoung? Are they going to think I’m insane? I got lost in thought for most of the later half of the drive. Before I knew it, Saeyoung was asking me to make sure we were at the right place. I nodded. Saeyoung reached over and put a hand on my thigh. “Everything is going to be fine (Y/N). They can’t be as crazy as my family,” he reminded me. I nodded. 

“What are we saying if they ask how we met? I don’t want to exactly tell them the truth because it will definitely blow up in my face. I can’t tell them I followed some at-the-time-creepy dude to an apartment, where I was kidnapped and then half forced to join the RFA. Definitely shouldn’t talk about the whole almost killed until you showed up thing either,” I asked. 

“Just tell them we met online. It’s not a complete lie,” Saeyoung suggested. I shook my head. 

“No that won’t do. My family knows I would never sign up for a dating app because of my personality. I’d never get the guts to even message someone,” I told him. Saeyoung laughed. 

“Oh my God (Y/N), I love you,” he managed to say through his laughter. I frowned. 

“It’s not my fault I’m me!” I argued. 

“If you weren’t the way you were, I don’t think I’d be here about to meet your family. It’s because you’re you that I like you.” I blushed a bit. 

“You didn’t answer me. We need a back story, you’re good at this. You’re going to have to lie anyway if they ask about your past,” I told him. 

“Do I?” 

“Do you what?” 

“Do I have to lie? I told you I want to marry you in the space station, so then your family will be mine as well. I don’t want to lie to my future in-laws,” Saeyoung said. I paused, I wasn’t expecting him to say that at all. 

“Well, it’s your choice and your past. If you want to tell them, you can, it’s just-” I paused. “You’re sure the agency won’t come after you, or your father and my family will be safe if you tell them?” 

“Of course. I wouldn’t endanger any of you. If anything did happen, I’d be here as soon as I could to fix it and help, but I’m sure nothing will happen if I tell them. As long as they don’t go and tell some big media,” Saeyoung assured me. I nodded. 

“Okay, but I still don’t want to tell them about me almost getting kidnapped by Saeran. They will take it the wrong way.” He laughed. 

“How can they take it the wrong way, you were almost kidnapped?” 

“Yeah, you’re right. But that’s going to make them think that you’re not safe,” I argued. 

“Alright fine, let’s tell them that we met at a school club. We didn’t talk much until you were being followed one day after the meeting. You ran to me and I helped you and made sure you got to your apartment safe, then blah blah blah, we start dating and now we’re here. This way you get the important stuff like joining the RFA, and being saved by me,” Saeyoung concluded. 

“That will work,” I paused. “Though they’re not going to be happy that I was walking home in the dark alone.” 

“Well, from that day on, I walked you home every night, as your knight in shining armour of love,” he teased. 

“Yuck,” I replied with a smile. 

“Let’s go.” Saeyoung reached for my hand and squeezed, before getting out. We grabbed what we could before going to the door. I hesitated whether to knock or not, it was my house after all. I didn’t have to decide though, not a second later my mom opened up the door. “(Y/N)!” she said, while reaching out to grab some of the bags I was carrying. “Oh and you must be Saeyoung,” she finished, looking at the man next to me. I looked over at him when he didn’t answer right away. I grew concerned as he just stood there like a brick. What is happening? Why isn’t he being his playful self and responding? Then I noticed his expression. He totally lied, he’s beyond nervous. 

“Yes, this is Saeyoung,” I replied to my mom, smiling before I leaned over and nudged him. Saeyoung gulped. 

“Y-yes it’s a p-pleasure to meet you M-mrs. (L/N),” he finally got out, after stumbling over his words. He reached out his hand to shake hers. My mom gave me a skeptical look, before heading in and announcing that we arrived. I looked over at Saeyoung, who was still standing there. I could tell how nervous he had become. It was very unusual, Saeyoung was good at masking his true feelings, so for him to be this nervous, made me worried. Normally he would just pretend he wasn’t and would act like himself, or the more flirtatious and outgoing part of himself. “Hey are you okay?” I asked him. 

“Honestly,” he paused to look at me. “No. I thought I would be fine, but I’m not. What if they all hate me?” 

“They’re not going to hate you, plus it doesn’t really matter what they end up thinking right? It just matters about how we feel about each other. Just relax and be yourself,” I told him. He nodded, but I could tell he was still really nervous. When we walked in, the rest of my family was waiting. Saeyoung went around with me and introduced himself, gaining a bit more confidence as he went. When it came to my dad though, he panicked again. I gave my dad a hug. “I missed you!” I told him. 

“This must be Saeyoung. It’s nice to meet you. I'm (F/F/N) (L/N),” my dad said, shaking Saeyoung’s hand. 

“Y-yes. It’s nice t-to meet you as well,” he once again stumbled. 

“Well, now that we’ve seen everyone, we’re going to go move our stuff to my room,” I smiled at my dad. He nodded and went to continue cooking the dinner. When we got into my room, I sat on my bed and laughed. Saeyoung looked at me, growing even more confused. 

“What?” he asked. 

“Saeyoung! Why are you so nervous? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this! It’s just five other people, that’s it. That’s everyone. We’re not close to any other family, you’ve met everyone. Just mom, dad, my sister, and brothers,” I told him. He relaxed a bit. 

“Oh,” was all he said. 

“Come here.” He slowly made his way over to me and I wrapped my arms around him. “You don’t need to be so nervous. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I know my family will love you. So please just relax.” To make my point I moved my hands to his face and kissed him, before looking in his eyes. “I love you,” I reminded him. 

“Love you too,” he responded. “You’re right I need to calm down. I didn’t think it would be this scary, but this is everyone?” 

“That’s everyone,” I confirmed. “Here, you stay and unpack to calm down. I’ll head down to be with them. Come down when you’re ready okay?” He nodded. I walked past him, until he stopped me and grabbed my hand. He brought me close for another kiss. We pulled apart, and he smiled at me. “I’ve got this,” he said, more to assure himself. I nodded. “You’ve got this.” 

I walked downstairs and began to talk with my family. No one had mentioned much about Saeyoung yet, we mostly talked about them and what I had been doing. About half an hour later, I got a text from Saeran. I pulled out my phone to read it. 

Saeran: Saeyoung just called me for 15 min. He needs help 

(Y/N): is everything okay?? 

Saeran: You tell me. He just complained abt how nervous he was and I told him to suck it up

(Y/N): i know he’s nervous...seeing saeyoung stutter like that was not normal. I’ll go check on him, sorry 

Saeran: not your fault. Is there anything else you can do to calm him down so he’ll stop calling? 

(Y/N): idk, I tried everything. 

(Y/N): whatever u did worked, he’s coming down. 

I put my phone away and smiled at him. He gave me a small thumbs up before sitting next to me. After a few minutes, he joined the conversation, relaxing more as he spoke. Soon he was making everyone laugh. A few hours passed and we were all sitting down to eat. While Saeyoung was relaxing more, I was growing more nervous. The dinner table. There’s no escaping it, they’re going to ask about us. We began to eat, and soon my fears came true. 

“So Saeyoung, how did you meet (Y/N)?” my sister asked, looking at me. She knew this would be the last thing I wanted to talk about, so of course she was sure to quickly bring it up. 

“Oh, well, we met at a club meeting I guess in school. I was walking home from a meeting when (Y/N) came up to me and pretended to know me, before she told me she was afraid she was being followed. So me, being the gentleman that I am, decided to walk her home. I thought she was cute, so I got her number and we started dating,” Saeyoung lied. He turned to smile at me, I gave a slight smile back. 

“We told you not to walk in the dark alone (Y/N),” my mom scolded. 

“Yeah I know,” I mumbled, before putting more food in my mouth so I wouldn’t have to speak. 

“So what do you do for a living?” my dad asked. Saeyoung tensed, but then calmed down just as quickly. I had no idea what he was going to say, turns out it was the truth. 

“Well, I was working as a hacker, but I quit about a month ago. I’ve been looking for somewhere new to work. A friend of ours is a CEO now, and has offered me a job there that I’m considering,” Saeyoung told them. 

“A hacker?” my brother asked. Saeyoung nodded. “Isn’t that kinda dangerous?” he asked. 

“Honestly, it was dangerous. I ended up quitting because I didn’t want to put (Y/N) or Saeran in any danger,” he replied. 

“Cool,” my brother said. 

“Saeran?” my mother questioned. 

“Saeran is Saeyoung’s twin brother,” I answered her question. I knew Saeyoung needed a break from all the truth-telling. 

“Oh, any other family?” she asked. Shoot. I don’t know how much Saeyoung wants to tell. I looked at him and he nodded. I looked back at him confused, he really trusts me to tell them whatever? He nodded. Fine then. 

“Saeyoung left home when he was young, in order to protect his brother. His mother was abusive and his father is in a position of power and threatened if anyone found out he had children. So no, he basically just has Saeran now,” I told them. I looked at Saeyoung. 

“I left in order to make a living for us, which is how I got into hacking. I had to do it without my father noticing in order to be safe. I’ve never met him. A man helped me get out of the house and told me he would help Saeran. That ended up being a lie, so Saeran was upset with me for years thinking that I had left him to die. (Y/N) helped me find Saeran and rebuild our relationship,” Saeyoung concluded, adding more details that I thought he wouldn't want to share. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” my mother said quietly. 

“Don’t be. The past is the past, besides, now I have both my brother and my fiance,” Saeyoung smiled. Oh no. I watched as each member of my family stop eating in horror. I didn’t tell them we were kinda engaged. It was dead silent, and the air was thick. I heard a fork drop onto a plate. My sister looked over at me and her jaw dropped. My brother’s looked down, not wanting to get involved. I looked at Saeyoung, and his eyes grew. He didn’t mean to slip that in. My dad broke the silence first, which I was thankful for. My dad was surprisingly the more easy going one in the family. 

“Fiance?” he asked. I avoided his eyes and nodded. “That’s wonderful. I’m happy for you two.” I looked up in shock. He didn’t care. 

“I was not expecting that,” my sister stated. “You’re serious? When did this happen?” My anxiety was skyrocketing, and Saeyoung could tell so he quickly answered. 

“A few months after we started dating, we haven’t started planning anything yet, and probably won’t for a while. But yes, we are engaged. I’ve never been so happy to have anyone in my life,” Saeyoung answered. An awkward silence grew, no one really knew what to say after the news. We weren’t going to tell them, we were going to wait and then fake an engagement. I guess it’s not faked since we are engaged, but we would make it look like it happened later. Eventually, someone spoke up and changed the conversation. Everyone avoided talking about Saeyoung and I’s relationship, which was a blessing. After the dinner, we all cleaned. I was stuck with my mom doing dishes, so I got an earful about my newly announced engagement. I didn’t dare tell her that the ‘after a few months’ thing was a lie. We knew we wanted to be together after the first RFA party, we just made it official a few months after. As upset as my mom was, she eventually accepted that I was indeed going to marry Saeyoung. The rest of the day went smoother. Everyone kind of avoided the subject as we watched a movie and played games. Eventually, we headed our separate ways in the house for bed. When I got to my room I flopped on my bed and sighed. Saeyoung followed and closed the door. “That was a nightmare,” I told him. I felt Saeyoung flop next to me on my bed. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry that was all my fault. It just slipped,” Saeyoung apologized. 

“It’s okay, they would have found out eventually,” I told him. 

“Do you think they hate me?” he softly asked. I quickly sat up, Saeyoung slowly followed to look at me. 

“Why would you think that?” I asked. 

“Well, I completely screwed up introducing myself, then an hour later I was completely different and outgoing. Then I told them I’m a hacker, unemployed, have a screwed up childhood, and am now engaged to their daughter.” 

“I’m sure they don’t hate you, they’re probably just surprised. No one expected me, of all of us, to be the first to get engaged. Have you met me?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled and looked away. I could tell he was feeling insecure and upset. I suck with words so I did the only thing I could do. I tackled him in a hug. It knocked us over, so I was now on top of Saeyoung. I didn’t move. He eventually wrapped his arms back around me. We laid there for a while, until I felt that I got through to him. I sat up, put my hands on his face and looked him in the eyes. “It doesn’t matter what they think,” I told him. 

“But they’re going to be family, I don’t want them to hate me. I want to have, or be a part of a real family,” he confessed. 

“I know, but I also know my family Sae. I know that they don’t hate you. I’m sure by the time we wake up tomorrow, they all will have thought about it and will be fine. How could they not like you? You’re fun, caring, incredibly smart, you make me smile. You make me happy. Yes, your past was hard, but none of it was your fault, you did what you could. You’re literally incredible Sae. There’s no way they won’t love you. Most importantly, you are the only person that I love this much, and I want to spend my life with you. They know that now, and they’ll be okay with it, because it’s you that I want to be with. You don’t need to worry about them liking you. I know that they’ll get over it, and if they don’t you still have me. We’ll still get married and make our own family,” I told him. I leaned down and kissed him again. Saeyoung deepened the kiss, before pulling away. He looked on the verge of tears and I was worried I had upset him. 

“How?” he asked. 

“How what? How do I know they love you? Or how do-” 

“How did I get so lucky?” he interrupted. I froze. 

“You’re not that lucky. You’re just you, and I like that.” 

“Nope. You’re wrong. I don’t deserve you therefore I am lucky,” he argued. 

“No Saeyoung, you do stop saying that.” 

“It’s the truth,” he teased. 

“No it’s not. You’re a liar. If I say you deserve me then you do, that’s final.” I leaned back down to kiss him again. I felt Saeyoung's hands start to wander as he deepened the kiss. I didn’t want to ever stop feeling like this. His hand made its way down my back until it landed on my butt and squeezed lightly. I broke the kiss, or tried to. Saeyoung made sure to lightly bite my lip as I backed up. I looked at him. “You’re not that lucky Saeyoung Choi. My entire family is here,” I told him with a smile. He frowned. 

“You don’t care when Saeran is around,” he argued. 

“That’s completely different!” 

“How?” 

“Saeran basically lives in your basement. He only leaves for food, it’s like he lives in a different house entirely. There’s no way he’d hear or anything. Here, my sister is two rooms down, and my parents are literally next door,” I reminded him. He frowned at me and I watched him think. I noticed a gleam in his eye. 

“Who says Saeran doesn’t hear?” he whispered. My face dropped. I could feel how hard I was blushing. There’s no way… Saeyoung began to laugh. “I’m kidding (Y/N). It’s a bunker, there’s no way he could hear. Can’t we just be quiet here?” he asked. I pushed Saeyoung’s arm. 

“As much as I would love to, I’m not risking it here with them,” I told him honestly. 

“It could be fun though, like a little challenge,” he suggested. I shook my head. No way am I about to with my family in the next room, they’d be horrified. A smile grew on Saeyoung’s face. What is with him? He’s always respectful when I tell him no. “There’s always the car? We could go somewhere….” he suggested. I thought about it. It could work, no one would see or hear anything then. If anyone asked where we went, we could lie and say we got food. 

“Fine.” I agreed. Saeyoung quickly jumped up and grabbed his keys and wallet.

Hehe you can imagine the rest or whatever   

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 15

(A/N): I am going to go ahead and put a trigger warning on this chapter! If any mentions, or thoughts of suicide trigger you in any way, please skip over at least the beginning until the second paragraph of Saeyoung’s POV, or the entire thing!! I’m going to put a short summary of what happens in case you want to know what happened, but are afraid of it triggering anything. Remember that there is always a reason to live <3. 

(Y/N) POV:

I don’t know how long it has been since I’ve been back. I’ve lost track of time. I’ve given up on everything… I tried everything I could. I read so many articles about traveling between universes, I attempted to fix the portal, which failed epically. I played Mystic Messenger for many days, but it just hurt. It wasn’t them, not the real ones. I haven’t touched my phone in days, maybe even months at this point, I really don’t know. I don’t know what I was expecting. Living there was too good to be true. Saeyoung isn’t coming, maybe they’re even happy to have gotten rid of me. I’m tired here, even though I haven’t been doing anything at all. I haven’t eaten in a while, I haven’t moved from my bed in a while. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know why I’m still living. No one has checked up on me, the RFA isn’t coming, I have nothing. I am nothing. I was too much of a burden that they sent me away. I don’t want to live anymore. I have no reason to. I have nobody, I have nothing. I got up and out of my bed for the first time in weeks. I headed to my bathroom and grabbed a bottle. I brought it to my couch and sat down. I wonder how long until people find out...probably a while. I stared at the bottle in my hands. It’s easy, just take them. Why are you hesitating, you have nothing. I sighed. I never thought I would get to this point... I opened up the bottle and dumped it into my hands. I closed my eyes and moved my hand closer to my mouth….but a noise startled me and I stopped. 

I looked up and saw my front door swing open. Someone had opened it. Oh, they’re running towards me, wait this isn’t how this was supposed to go. What is happening? What are they saying? Oh wait, it’s Saeyoung. No, not just him, Saeran is here too. Why is he taking them from me? Give them back! It’s my only option. I can’t live like this anymore. My knees hurt. Why do I feel warm? Who’s there? I felt my face, I was crying. I looked around me. I’m on the floor, how did I get here? I watched Saeyoung as he pulled me closer to him. He looked disappointed. Of course he is, look at what he walked in on. He probably really thinks of me differently now. I thought I heard him saying something, but I don’t know what. My brain isn’t functioning right now. It’s probably the lack of food and water, or lack of sleep. Or lack of literally everything I’ve been denying myself. Why are they here? What happened? Am I going to be okay? Why do I care? Why is it getting dark around me? I didn’t take them did I? Maybe I did….maybe this is goodbye...it wasn’t supposed to be like this….

Saeyoung POV:

As soon as Saeran and I went through the portal, we made our way to (Y/N)’s apartment. When we got there I knocked, but there was no answer. Concerned, I quickly picked the lock and opened up the door. My mind wasn’t ready for what I saw. (Y/N) was sitting on their couch, a handful of pills in their hand. They looked, well, small. It looked like (Y/N) had lost a lot of weight, not in a good way. Their hair was messy, there were dark circles under their eyes. I did this. This is my fault. Saeran immediately moved when he saw what was happening, I was frozen. Saeran shoved me out of the way and ran over to (Y/N). He moved their hand, and took the pills and the bottle. I watched (Y/N) scream, and reach out to Saeran to get them back. I did this. Why do I always hurt the people I love? I watched Saeran move out of the way as (Y/N) fell to the floor. Saeran looked at me, and I broke out of the daze I was in. I ran over to (Y/N) and hugged them. I had begun to cry. I held onto them as I sobbed. I should have listened to Saeran. I should have focused on getting (Y/N) back, I should have known something was wrong when Jaehee couldn’t contact them. I should have done better. After a few minutes I noticed that (Y/N) was no longer conscious. I looked for Saeran. He had moved to the kitchen to make sure the bottle was out of sight, he was coming back with a glass of water. He moved me to get to (Y/N). They were barely conscious, but drank the water, before losing consciousness again. “Saeran,” I managed to get out. 

“We need to get her to a hospital. I don’t care if it’s one here or one there, she needs to go,” Saeran interrupted me. All I could do was nod. I picked up (Y/N) and we headed for the nearest hospital. We probably should have gotten an ambulance. What is going to happen to them? We got to the hospital and checked (Y/N) in. The doctors made us stay back since we weren’t family. We knew we would be getting questions from a nurse to find out what had happened. Saeran did most of the talking. All I could think about was what I could have, what I should have done. When the nurse left, Saeran turned to me. “The nurse says we’re good. She said it’s up to us what we want to do with (Y/N). (Y/N) hadn’t been taking care of them self, the doctors have got fluids and things running through them. They say they’ll be up in about an hour. While (Y/N) is asleep we need to decide what we’re doing. (Y/N) needs help. We can send her somewhere here, or take her back and do something about it in our universe,” he told me. 

“Yeah,” I mumbled. This made him angry. 

“What do you mean yeah? Can you snap out of it?! (Y/N) would be dead right now if we hadn’t gotten there in time. It’s our fault. We need to figure out what we’re doing. We need to be there for them! I don’t care what stupid things you are telling yourself right now because it’s not important. What’s done is done. All we can do is hope they forgive us and be there for them!” Saeran stormed off, realizing he was getting worked up and didn’t want to cause a scene. I sat down in a chair and thought. No one likes mental health centers, Saeran almost killed people in one because of how much he hated it. I want to help (Y/N). They were happiest in our universe, so I think we take them back and then get them help. Hell, I probably should too. I waited for Saeran came back, before heading into the room they had (Y/N) in. 

(Y/N) POV: 

I woke up confused. My body hurt. The lights are really bright. I felt something grab my hand. I looked up and saw Saeyoung. I looked around. I was in a hospital room, Saeran was sitting in the corner watching me. I looked back at Saeyoung. “What happened?” I asked. My voice sounded harsh, and my throat hurt. Saeyoung smiled. 

“Which part?” he asked. 

“All of it. How am I here? Why are you here?” I sat and listened as Saeyoung told me everything. The agency sent me here and threatened Saeyoung. They took down the agency and came here when they found me, you know. Then I passed out and they took me here. “So you didn’t get rid of me?” I whispered after he finished explaining everything. 

“What? Why would you ever think we wanted to get rid of you?” Saeyoung asked. 

“Stupid. Obviously they thought that. They woke up in their universe, with no explanation. To everyone’s knowledge we were the only people who could do anything like that,” Saeran rolled his eyes at Saeyoung. Saeyoung’s face fell, I watched a tear fall from his face. 

“I’m sorry,” his voice cracked. “I should have listened to Saeran and focused on getting you back before taking down the agency. I was worried that they would harm you if I got you back without taking them down first. But I was wrong. I was the only one that hurt you. I wouldn’t ever want to get rid of you.” I looked up at him and tried to smile. 

“You are stupid,” I giggled. “But I knew that. I understand why you did what you did. You just did what you thought was best. It’s not your fault my mind is messed up.” Saeyoung looked up at me. 

“But I’m still sorry.” 

“I know. It’s okay.” I thought to myself. I didn’t really know what to think. I don’t know what to do or where to start. “What are we going to do?” I finally asked. 

“Well, it’s ultimately up to you, but Saeran and I talked about it. We think it would be best to go home and then get us some help,” Saeyoung answered. 

“Which home? And who’s us?” I asked. 

“Home home. And you and Saeyoung,” Saeran answered this time. I nodded. I knew I needed help, I’ve known for a while and didn’t do anything about it. Look where it’s landed me, a hospital. 

“If it’s okay, I’m going to sleep some more now,” I mumbled to them. Saeyoung smiled and nodded. I woke up a few hours later. I felt something by my side and looked to see Saeyoung leaning on me, asleep, still holding my hand. I smiled a bit. Maybe he does care. I just overreacted, took things too far. I should have trusted him. 

“How are you feeling?” I heard Saeran softly ask. I moved my head to look at him. He looked uncomfortable, but concerned. I knew he had gone through similar things as I just did. 

“Better I guess. I want to apologize to you,” I told him. 

“For what?” he asked, genuinely confused. 

“I’m sorry for trying to do what I was going to do…” I looked away. 

“You don’t have to apologize. Your mind was just lying to you, telling you that was your only option. It happened, but we got there in time to stop you. I’m sorry it took us so long. I know it’s not a fun place to be in when you think that’s your last option. It’s hard, but you’re a lot stronger than I am (Y/N), you’ll be fine,” he responded. I was surprised. I had never heard of this. Someone not being angry for someone trying to end their life. But I suppose he knew what it felt like to have someone yell and ask what’s wrong with you when you do something like that. It was nice he didn’t. 

“Thank you though. For saving me,” I told him.

“Thank you for letting me. I don’t want to lose you either. I’m sorry it took us so long.” I felt Saeyoung stirring in his sleep. He slowly lifted his face, his glass askew on him. He looked up at me and smiled a bit. “Good morning,” I told him. 

“Morning. How are you?” he asked. 

“Better.” Just then a doctor came in and asked about our plans. We told him I would leave and get into therapy. The doctor suggested I be under constant supervision, which I really wanted to oppose, but I knew I needed it. The doctor let us go, and we checked out. We headed back to my apartment. I decided to shower and make myself decent before returning to their universe. Before I could go into the bathroom, Saeran ran in. I was confused at first, until I saw him exit the bathroom with anything sharp or dangerous. He meekly smiled at me. I nodded. I knew he should. I got into the shower and it felt refreshing. I got out and changed. I walked out to my living room and informed the twins that I was ready. They nodded and we got on the bus to head to the portal. I was nervous, but also felt oddly calm. I was going back, sure my life would be slightly different now, but I was happy there. So I could be happy again right? 

When we got through the portal, I once again was out for a day. When I woke up, Saeyoung and I talked about what was going to happen. He and Saeran decided that I should stay with them so someone could be with me, which I agreed to. He then gave me a few options of therapists to see so I could decide and make an appointment. I looked through the options and decided. We made our appointments for tomorrow. Saeyoung wanted to make sure I started early, which was probably best. The day was weird. I didn’t spend a minute alone, except for when I was in the bathroom, but even then, one of the twins would be waiting outside of the door for me. They made sure that I ate plenty, all three meals plus snacks. If I refused they would look at me and refuse to let me not eat. The twins each tried to give me space, but I knew it was hard when they wanted to make sure I wouldn’t do anything. I didn’t really have too many negative thoughts though. Around 4, I was watching a movie with Saeyoung when he broke the silence. “The RFA all wants to see you,” he began. “But only when you’re ready.” 

“I think I could, maybe in a few days,” I paused. “And maybe only a few at a time. I don’t want to have to answer too many questions. Did you, you know, tell them what happened?” 

“No, I don’t think it’s my place to do so. You can tell whoever you want and whenever you’re ready.” I nodded. I watched a smile creep up on his face. “Do you want to go get dinner somewhere? There’s a small cafe I know of that doesn’t get too crowded.” I thought about it. I hadn’t been out in a long time. I took a deep breath, I was nervous to go out. “Sure.” Saeyoung and I got up and ready to go out. I thought about changing out of my sweats, but decided not to. We told Saeran and then got into his car. The drive wasn’t too long. Their bunker is far outside of the city, but the cafe was in a nearby small town. When we got there, we walked in and ordered. It was nice. When we sat down to eat, it was silent for a bit. Neither of us really knew what to talk about. Soon, we were talking like normal again. Saeyoung made sure to make me laugh a lot. After we left, we went to a nearby park. I sat down on a swing next to Saeyoung and looked at the ground. I heard him chuckle. I looked over at him. “What?” 

“It’s kinda like when I first met you right now. You, in sweats and your hair pulled back, in a park at night,” he replied with a smile. 

“Yeah, I looked like a wreck then too.” 

“I don’t think so, you look amazing to me.” 

“Yeah whatever,” I said, moving to bump my swing into his. He laughed. 

“I knew then that you struggled with mental health. I should have been better about it all,” he told me. 

“What do you mean?” I asked. 

“Well, it’s not like your mental health just suddenly gets better. You even told me how you felt! People are fine for a few days, maybe even weeks, but then it’ll all go downhill. When you told me how you felt, I should have been better at being there for you. Been better at showing you how I felt.” My breath caught in my throat. How he felt?.... Saeyoung looked at me and took my hands into his. He looked into my eyes and smiled. My heart felt like it was beating much faster than it ever should have. “I love you (Y/N). I have for so long. I was afraid to say it, I didn’t want to push you into anything. But I should have told you sooner. I should have told you that I am so in love with you. I should have told you how much I care about you, how much I want you to be happy. I should have said that I don’t want to be with anyone else, that I love your personality. I should have been more forward, I should have shown how much I cared. I should have told you that I loved you sooner. I love you. I do. I really do.” I began to cry a bit. 

“Saeyoung, you know that what happened wasn’t your fault right?” I asked. He didn’t move. My chest began to hurt. He can’t think this is his fault. “It isn’t your fault. I knew how much you cared about me. It’s just my brain. I love you too Saeyoung. And I appreciate that you didn’t rush me into anything, even though I knew that I love you. I’m happy when I’m with you. And I’m going to work on my mental health, because I want to live. I want to live so that I can love you. Maybe it’s not the best reason, and it’s too dependent on someone, but for now, it’s what is stopping me from trying again.” I reached over and hugged Saeyoung. When he wrapped his arms around me I was reminded that someone cares. Even when I feel like that, someone cares. After a while, we made our way back to the bunker. I was still tired, so I headed to bed early. I slept for a few hours, before being woken up by bad dreams. I sighed as I sat up. I should be over this by now. Don’t go see him, he’s asleep. I decided to get up and get some water. When I got into the kitchen I noticed Saeran in there. He smiled at me. 

“Can’t sleep?” he asked. I nodded. I knew he also struggled to sleep. He passed me a glass and I filled it. “What’s on your mind?” he asked. 

“Everything,” I smiled. “Nothing dangerous though. How did you get through it?” 

“I wouldn’t say I’m completely through it. There are definitely still days where I wonder why I’m even still here and trying. But it’s usually on the days that Saeyoung decides he needs to spend time with me. As annoying as he is, it helps.” I smiled and nodded. 

“Yeah, it’s hard though.” 

“It is, but it’s easier if you have people who help you. Saeyoung might not quite  understand what it’s like, I’m here for you too (Y/N).” I looked at him. 

“Thank you. I’m going to head back to bed, have a good night.” 

“You too,” he replied. I headed back to my room, but hesitated before going in. It wouldn’t hurt anybody if I just...Before I knew it, I was standing in front of Saeyoung’s door. I could see a light coming through so I knew he was up. He was probably working. I knocked on the door and I heard him mumble to come in. He swung around in his chair and looked at me when I came in. “Oh (Y/N). Is something wrong?” he asked. 

“No, well...kinda. I just had a dream that woke me up. What are you still doing up?” I asked him. 

“Well, I was working, but now it seems I have something more important to do.” I furrowed my brows. 

“What?” I asked. He got and came toward me before hugging me. 

“Making sure you get to sleep,” he answered. He picked me up and put me on his bed. 

“Oh uh, are you sure? I’m fine alone…” I mumbled, embarrassed. He nodded. 

“Yep! God 707 is here to make sure his 606 sleeps comfortably!” I shook my head. He wrapped his arms around me as he laid down. It felt wrong, but also right to be next to him. I smiled into his chest. Maybe, with you here, I can get through this. I can get through the thoughts my mind has put me through for years.

SUMMARY FOR THOSE THAT WANTED TO SKIP OVER IT:

Basically, Saeyoung and Saeran saved (Y/N) when he got to their universe. They took them to a hospital to get them immediate help, before returning to their universe. The twins decided to keep (Y/N) under constant supervision, so their first day with the twins was weird being followed around. Saeyoung and (Y/N) decide to go out to eat at a small, empty cafe. They head to a park afterwards where they are honest with their feelings to each other. They return to the bunker, where (Y/N) has a bad dream and is woken up. They have a short conversation with Saeran about how hard it is dealing with mental health, before going to Saeyoung, who decides to make sure they sleep comfortably. 

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 14

Saeyoung’s POV

After finding out the agency was behind this, I made a plan. I would find out where they’re hiding, then take them down. I need to make sure the agency will either stop coming after me, or I need to shut them down entirely. The second option is better. If I can get there and restrain them and then call the police...but then the police would wonder how I’m involved. Maybe I can get enough information and then the authorities will go after them on their own… My thoughts were interrupted by Saeran. “Saeyoung? Hello? Anyone in there?” 

“Yeah,” I mumbled. 

“What are you thinking? You have been staring at your screen for like 10 minutes.”

“We need a way to take them down before we do anything,” I stated. 

“But what about (Y/N)? I don’t know if it’s a good idea for them to be gone this long,” he argued. 

“It won’t matter if the agency is active. If they come back, the agency will take them again. We have to take the agency down first.”

“Okay, you work on that then,” Saeran rolled his eyes at me and then began typing away at his computer. 

“What? Do you not think we need to take them down?” I asked. 

“No, we definitely need to, but I think getting (Y/N) here should take priority. They’ve told you how their life is there. I think if you take too long taking the agency down, (Y/N)’s mental health will get worse, and fast. I don’t want that. So I’ll keep working on the portal and you can go after them.” 

“It’ll be quicker if we both work together. We have to take down the agency and then get (Y/N). I don’t like it anymore than you do, I know the longer they’re there, the worse (Y/N) will get. But if they come and the agency is still active-” 

“Didn’t the agency say they’ll send people after (Y/N)?” Saeran interrupted. 

“Yeah, but there’s no way they can make a portal that fast and-” I began, growing more frustrated. 

“Yes they can Saeyoung. They have all the files. They don’t have to work through any math or do anything. They just need to get the supplies. They could have most of them by now. We need to get to (Y/N) first,” Saeran began to get louder, also probably growing more frustrated with the situation. I sat and stared at him, frowning. I thought about it. I don’t want to bring (Y/N) here and put them at risk again….why can’t I just steal the files back?... 

“Why don’t we just steal the files back?” I asked. Saeran rolled his eyes again. 

“You really think they haven’t made copies of all the files yet?” 

“No they haven’t. If everyone that was there in the game is here, their hackers aren’t great. Well, not as good as us. It would be easy to break through, find all the files and delete them. Then get information and give it to the authorities. Maybe we could make it look like the agency has hacked into government files, they have before, and they’re using that to harm the country. Then once we’re sure the agency has been taken down, or while they’re being taken down, we work on fixing the portal. As soon as it’s done, we go through and find (Y/N),” I suggested. I watched Saeran think it over. I waited as patiently as I could for him to think. 

“Fine. But I still think getting (Y/N) back here should take priority. I have a bad feeling about them being there,” Saeran finally spoke. 

“(Y/N) will be fine. They’re strong. Let’s get started.” Saeran began working on a virus to use on the agency’s database. We needed a virus to locate all the files they had stolen, and any copies and then corrupt the files and delete them. I got to work on finding a way into the agency’s database. 

After some time, I got into the database. Everything was the same, so it was easy to get through. I was the one who coded it all after all. They really should have thought that one through. Once I was in I began to look for anything to use against them. I opened up file after file. I was reminded of the horrors of the agency. I found files of all the torture, murder, and experiments they have done. I scanned through them, not wanting to think about what they were doing to them, or what they had done to me, but I lingered on a file. It was Vanderwood’s file. Vanderwood had been forced to join the agency. I found files of how exactly they managed to get them to join. I felt my heart sink. Vanderwood had been tortured and used for an entire month, before they gave in. After joining, the agency used Vanderwood as an assassin. That I knew, but I didn’t know how often Vanderwood was used. It explained a lot about them. Vanderwood, although they never said it, had a deep hatred for the agency and what they made them do. Vanderwood had been on countless missions, many of which were successes. But they still treated Vanderwood like trash. I stopped reading entirely when I saw a new file, updated yesterday. I read through it in shock. They found Vanderwood. Vanderwood is here, in this universe. They got away, but the agency was making a plan to get them back. I hesitated. What do I do? If I dig more through this file, I can find Vanderwood. I have to warn them. No, I can’t waste time. I’ll take the agency down, both for (Y/N) and for Vanderwood. I closed the files and opened the next, and the next, and the next. I stopped once again when it was my file. I had to go through it, it could lead me to know who found me and their exact plans. I began to read through. It brought back memories I didn’t want to remember. Me joining as a young child, the so-called ‘training’ they put me through, the missions they gave me. Thankfully, everything in the file I knew. I remembered how when I first started working for the agency, I didn’t quite understand what I was doing. When I did realize, it was not a good time for me. I realized that I was hacking into databases so the agency could either get more people to join, or so they could take them out. I realized it on my first hands on mission with Vanderwood. We were assigned to infiltrate a building and steal some files. Once I was inside and getting the files, I realized what the files were. They were files on people, mostly innocent, that the agency would then have me track down. I kept working for the agency though, because I thought it was the only way to keep Saeran safe, but that was a lie. I hate the agency. I hate everything they’ve done, everything they’ve made myself and others do. I finally got to the part of my file that was updated. They had found me, of course, the first time they saw me was at the restaurant I took (Y/N) to. Then they started following me and gathering information. Their plan was simple, to simple, they should have known it would fail. It was to simply use (Y/N) to get me to join them again. They’re going to have a nice surprise. I continued to dig through files for what felt like hours. They were endless. I glanced at the time, it was almost 10am the next morning. I noticed that Saeran was no longer sitting across from me. He must have finished the virus. I began to read through the next file when Saeran entered the room with a tray. “Here. You need to eat and take a break,” Saeran instructed. 

“I don’t have time to take a break. The sooner this is taken care of the sooner I can get to (Y/N) again,” I replied. 

“Yes, but the longer you work, the more sloppy your codes will get. If we’re doing this we’re going to do it right. I’ve finished the virus and implemented it, and now I can start helping you gather info, after we take a break. Take a break. Eat. Update the RFA. They’re all freaking out in the chat,” Saeran insisted. 

“Fine. 30 minutes tops,” I replied. I thanked him for the food he brought and ate it quickly. While I was taking a small break, I moved my computer up to my office so I could be a bit more comfortable. I pulled out my phone and logged into the RFA chat. 

Yoosung: Seven!

Yoosung: I mean Saeyoung! 

Yoosung: what’s going on? Zen said (Y/N) is back in their universe?!

Saeyoung: yeah….I’m afraid it was the agency’s doing

Saeyoung: Saeran and I are working on taking them down, so that we can get (Y/N) back here safely

Yoosung: is there anything I can do? 

Saeyoung: no. Saeran and I have this. 

Saeyoung: since you’re the only one here, I hope everyone will read this. 

Saeyoung: our plan is to get enough information on the agency and give it anonymously to the authorities, in hopes that they will take them down 

Saeyoung: as soon as the information is sent, we will be working on the portal to get it up and then we’ll bring (Y/N) back 

Yoosung: are you sure there’s nothing I can do? I can help go through files or something…

I thought for a moment. Any normal person could do what we’re doing. Anyone would notice something bad on a file we could use, and the more people on it the faster we can get (Y/N) back. 

Saeyoung: yeah...

Saeyoung: okay. Anyone who wants to help come to our bunker. It will be a long and boring process, but you can help look through files to find stuff we can use. 

Yoosung: I’m on my way

*Yoosung has left the chat. 

I put my phone away and got back to work. I was interrupted by an alert from my security system. I checked the cameras and was surprised. Everyone was here, even Jumin. I let them in, and headed to my door to greet them. “Hello everyone, I didn’t think so many of you would come…” I began.

“We want to help in any way we can,” Jaehee answered. 

“(Y/N) is more important than our jobs,” Jumin agreed. I was surprised to hear that coming from him. He always just worked. 

“I don’t have another rehearsal lined up for a few weeks. I want to help get (Y/N) back. I know they’re miserable there in that world,” Zen said. I stared at them and then thought about how to divvy up the work. If I get them on files, I can work on contacting (Y/N) again. I got computers for everyone and showed them how to go through the files. Anything that they did find was to be copied and put into a secure file. Jaehee offered to make meals and be sure to make sure we all eat. I agreed. She would also be the one to talk with (Y/N) if I can find them again. We all got to work. The RFA began finding usable files quickly. I showed Jaehee how to try to find (Y/N), her job would be more complicated. She needed to go through every phone connected with an app titled “Mystic Messenger” and find (Y/N)’s phone. Jaehee is smart though, so I knew she could handle it. I began to sort through the files everyone was finding. Around midnight, most of the RFA headed to sleep, they needed it. None of them are used to this kind of work. Saeran and I sifted through all of the files that night to find ones we could connect to worse things. The two of us began forming fake files, that way we could make the agency seem more like terrorists. We needed to make sure they’d be put down. This process continued for days. Jaehee was having no luck contacting (Y/N). The rest of us had finally got enough information. I checked the time and date on my phone, for the first time since working. It had been an entire week and a half. It felt like years, but also like minutes. A week and a half is a long time, longer than I wanted it to take. I sent the information to the authorities. I made sure that they got it, and kept an eye on their progress. The rest of the RFA stayed at my bunker while Saeran and I worked on the portal. Some would go off and get supplies we needed, and some others would help with construction. 

A few days later, we had a working portal. Or so we thought. When I went through I ended up in a different universe. So I got back to coding. The authorities we’re taking their own sweet time with the agency as well. They finally had a plan and it was going to begin in a few days. Everything was taking a few days. It had now been weeks since (Y/N) went back to their universe. Weeks to long. I lost track of who was in the bunker and what everyone was doing. I hadn’t slept in a good week. I'd fall asleep at my computer for an hour or so, wake up, and keep working. Finally, the authorities made their move. Their plan succeeded. I watched as the agency was taken down, it even made it onto national television. Vanderwood, I hope you can live your life now. I was sure to delete all files related to myself and Vanderwood, so we could just live how we wanted. I’d try to contact them later to inform them they are safe and free. I had finally got the portal up and working. It had been an entire month since (Y/N) was taken. It was not supposed to take this long. It was supposed to take a week tops. But getting the files, creating fake files, sending them in, and fixing the portal took so long. The authorities took too long, I know they did it to make sure the job was done right, but it took a week for them to even start making a plan, let alone to implement the plan. I was worried about (Y/N). Jaehee eventually found the phone that belonged to (Y/N), but they never answered. I hope they’re okay. Saeran and I went through the portal, hoping that we could finally see (Y/N). Please be okay...

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 13

Tomorrow is the first RFA party that I organized. I had begun working on it a few weeks ago, it’s going to be a small party. It’s small mostly because the organization hasn’t gotten big yet, so we’re having to make new connections. I’m nervous about it. I worked really hard to get people to come, and planned it all, so I can only hope that it will be a success. Saeyoung has still been on edge about the agency being here, but nothing has happened. There’s been so sign of any of them. I’ve been doing my best to comfort him about it, but he can’t shake the feeling that something is going to happen. From what he’s told me, the agency is not good and they’ve caused him a lot of trauma. I’m trying to prepare for the party tomorrow, by relaxing. 

I’m not good at it, but I’ve got the bath water going and face masks prepared. I turned the water off and threw in a bath bomb and bubbles. I then grabbed a face mask and applied it before getting in the water. It was warm, and nice. I turned on some music and listened. I quickly grew bored. How do girls just chill in a bath for so long? It was relaxing for a whole 5 minutes, but now I’m bored. Thankfully, I heard my phone go off from the other side of the bathroom. I carefully got up, and reached across for it, trying to stay in the bath. I got water absolutely everywhere, but I managed to grab my phone. Thank God this bathroom isn’t huge. I got comfortable and unlocked my phone. 

Saeyoung: heyy are you ready for tomorrow? 

(Y/N): I’m getting ready 

Saeyoung: what does that mean? 

(Y/N): it means I’m trying to relax by taking a bath, but I’m bored already 

Saeyoung: *blushing emoji*

Saeyoung: so I probably shouldn’t hack into your phone to see you? 

(Y/N): I will hurt you and never talk to you again perv

Saeyoung: I’m kidding! 

Saeyoung: you doing a face mask and everything? 

I sighed and took a selfie, making sure only my face showed. I’m not comfortable with that kind of stuff yet, but a selfie sure. 

(Y/N): *selfie*

Saeyoung: aawww my little ghost 

(Y/N): aww my stupid boyfriend who threatens to hack my phone when im in the bath 

Saeyoung: :(

(Y/N): :)

(Y/N): what about you are you ready for tomorrow? 

Saeyoung: im still nervous about the agency...I really thought that was my boss the other week 

(Y/N): but both you and Saeran have looked into it again right? 

Saeyoung: yeah…

(Y/N): and you both found nothing?

Saeeyoung: yes

(Y/N): then there’s nothing to worry about. You all would have found something, you’re both smarter than the agency 

Saeyoung: yeah I guess

(Y/N): well I’m not guessing. I trust you. Nothing is going to happen. You’re the one that organized all of the security for the party, so it’ll be safe. 

Saeyoung: I hope so

Saeyoung: how are you feeling about it? 

(Y/N): I feel like everyone will be safe if that’s what you’re asking? 

Saeyoung: well, yes, but also no. I mean are you nervous about how it’ll go?

(Y/N): Oh, yeah I’m super nervous about it. What if no one even shows up? I put a lot of work in it, and I don’t want it to be a flop 

Saeyoung: well, if no one shows up then I guess the 7 of us will party alone 

(Y/N): yeah…

Saeyoung: I’m sure it won’t be a flop, people will show up 

(Y/N): thanks 

(Y/N): well I’m going to get out of this bath and get ready for bed. Talk to you later? 

Saeyoung: always 

I got out of the bath and put a robe on, before letting the water drain. I took off the face mask and rinsed my face. I looked in the mirror and frowned. I really hope it turns out fine. I hope people come. I brushed my teeth and all that before leaving to go to my bedroom and changing into pajamas. I looked at my phone and noticed everyone was in a chatroom. I got on and talked to them all for a good hour. We talked about tomorrow. Everyone is excited for the party and is sure it’ll be a success. I still don’t know if it will be. I started to get a headache from looking at my phone for so long and thinking about tomorrow. I told everyone to have a goodnight before logging out of the chatroom. I got up and took a few painkillers for my headache before heading to sleep. Before I set my phone on my night stand I noticed Saeyoung had texted me once again. 

Saeyoung: I’ll be there around 2 to pick you up okay? 

Saeyoung: Don’t feel too nervous about tomorrow. Have a good night :)

(Y/N): thanks sae :). Goodnight. 

I woke up with a massive headache. I groaned as I rolled over to check the time. I felt around my nightstand for my phone, but it wasn’t there. I opened my eyes and a wave of panic fell over me. Why am I here? What? I sat up and took in my surroundings. I was in my universe, not Saeyoung’s. I don’t understand, I didn’t go through the portal. What is happening? The party was supposed to be today, what do I do? I don’t have a phone, where is it? I quickly got out of the bed and looked for my phone. I had no luck. I guess only I came back to this universe. I felt a panic attack quickly approaching me. How am I here? Did something happen? Is Saeyoung okay? How do I contact them? What do I do? I curled up and cried. It was the first time I had cried in a while. After about half an hour, I calmed down and started thinking. What do I do first? I don’t have anyone I can call or anything here… the portal! I’ll just go back through the portal to their universe and then I can ask Saeyoung what is happening. I got up and then realized I was still in pajamas. I ran to my kitchen and took more painkillers. I don’t care how bad I feel, I need to get back. I then found some clothes and threw them on before grabbing my keys and leaving. I had left a wallet here with this universe’s currency, so I was able to get on the bus. I sat on the bus and anxiously waited for the stop. The portal was not close. My legs bounced and I worried. I avoided eye contact with people around me. I knew I probably looked like a mess. I somehow am back in this universe, and then I had a panic attack. My head is killing me and I didn’t bother with make up or anything, because I need to find out what’s happening, if everyone is okay. When the bus finally made it to the stop, I jumped up and practically ran to the apartment. I ran inside and to the door, before I remembered I didn’t know how to get in. The main lock was a code. I thought and tried every combination I could. I smiled when I tried my birthday and it unlocked. It somehow unlocked all of the crazy locks on the door. I know Saeyoung isn’t stupid enough to use the same code for each lock, so he must have programmed it to do this for me and this specific code. I opened the door and walked in. My stomach dropped. There used to be a huge portal in the middle of the living room, but now it was everywhere. It looked like someone had come in and smashed it to pieces. Parts of metal were sprinkled throughout the living room. I fell to my knees. Something happened. I can’t fix it. I can’t contact Saeyoung. Just when I was feeling better, this happened. I was hoping I’d come here and just walk back through the portal, but that’s not happening. I broke down completely. I don’t know how long I sat in that living room and sobbed. I was at a loss for what I should do. Eventually, I ran out of tears. My throat was sore, my body felt weak, and my head was pounding harder than it ever had. I feel like I just lost everything. I lost my friends, my new life, and my happiness. I can’t just sit here and give up, there has to be a way to contact Saeyoung again. I got up and left the apartment, there is nothing I can do to fix the portal, I have no idea how it all works. I got back on the bus and headed to my old apartment. Once there, I grabbed some money and left again. 

I headed to the nearest store. I decided to head straight to the electronic section to buy a phone. My best bet at talking to everyone again, started with me getting a phone. I looked through the section and decided on one that wouldn’t destroy my bank account. I then walked through the store and grabbed a few groceries. I didn’t know how long I’d be back, but I’d need food. I need to pick up a few more clothes, and some essentials. I paid and quickly made it back to my apartment. I first decided to eat, because I was starving. I made a quick meal and ate quickly. I pulled out the phone and set it up. Now what? I downloaded the game, and opened it up. I began playing immediately. Nothing. This isn’t them, it’s just the game. What can I do? How can I let Saeyoung know it’s me? I have no idea what to do. I decided it was a long shot, but I went to the internet. I sat and read hundreds of thousands of articles and threads about alternate universes, but none of them helped. I’ll have to trust Saeyoung. He’ll look for me, right? But what if he doesn’t care enough to? He couldn’t like you… Stop. I got up and looked at the time. It was the first time I noticed what day it was. What? It’s Sunday? No, that means...the RFA party already happened. I must have been out for an entire day again when I came back. My whole body hurt, and I was tired of thinking. I have no idea what to do. What can I do? Maybe I’ll try figuring out how to fix the portal...yeah right, it’s not even worth me trying. I’ll never get it. For now I’ll just wait. I’ll stay here and keep playing the game, hoping Saeyoung will find a way. He will. I decided to just sleep for the night. It was still early, only like 6:30, but I was tired. I didn’t want to think any longer. 

Saeyoung’s POV:

After getting ready I left the bunker to go pick up (Y/N). I left early because they hadn’t been answering my messages all morning. Maybe they just slept in, they still have a while until we need to be there. What if they’re sick? I drove as fast as I could to their apartment. Once there I knocked on the door and called out their name. They didn’t reply. (Y/N) had given me a key to use, so I unlocked their door and went in. I looked around and didn’t see them. I went to their bedroom and nothing. I started to get worried. Where is (Y/N)? I then noticed their phone was still on their nightstand. (Y/N) wouldn’t just leave their phone, something is wrong. I checked, and sure enough, they hadn’t read any of my messages. I immediately called Saeran. “Saeran?” 

“Yeah what’s up? I thought you were getting (Y/N)?” Saeran answered. 

“I am, well I was. Something is wrong. (Y/N) isn’t here, and their phone is here. They don’t go anywhere without it. Can you check the cameras?” I asked. 

“Yeah give me a second…” I waited for a response. I bit my lip. Where are you? Are you okay? Did something happen? “Weird…” Saeran mumbled. 

“What’s weird?” I asked. 

“I’m watching now. They got home last night after work it seems, and then nothing. (Y/N) didn’t leave the apartment. From last night until when you got there, no one existed or entered the apartment...you sure (Y/N) isn’t there?” 

“Positive. I checked every room. What happened? Did you check nearby cameras?” I asked, growing more concerned. 

“Yes, just checked the last one. No sign of them… What’s going on? It’s not like (Y/N) to do anything like this, I thought they were happy,” Saeran drifted off. 

“They were. I’m coming back, is something wrong with the portal?” I asked. There was a pause. I could hear Saeran get up from his office to head to the room the portal was in. I heard him stop, and then nothing. “Saeran? What’s going on?” 

“The portal is gone,” he stated. 

“What do you mean the portal is gone?” I asked, practically yelling. 

“It’s just a metal circle, no portal. Something is wrong… I think….I think (Y/N) got sent back to their universe…” I hung up and ran to my car. My mind raced with worry. I have to get back. I don’t know how fast I was going, I’m extremely lucky I wasn’t pulled over is all I know. I ran into the bunker, for once annoyed that the security was so hard to get through. I ran downstairs to the portal. Saeran was there, already sitting with his computer out and running diagnostics. “Find anything?” I asked. He shook his head. 

“No, something is off. It’s almost as if it just stopped working, but that doesn’t make sense… it’s almost like someone covered something up,” he replied. I grabbed a computer and sat down. I pulled up the codes and began to work. He was right, it looked as if it just stopped working, but it wouldn’t do that. I checked the math so many times so this wouldn’t happen. The two of us lost track of time, before we were interrupted by a phone call. I picked up my phone, it was Zen. “Yeah?” I answered. 

“Saeyoung! What’s going on? Why aren’t you and (Y/N) here yet? Guests are going to start coming. Saeran hasn’t gotten here yet either,” Zen began. 

“Listen,” I interrupted. “Don’t freak out, but I think (Y/N) is back in their universe.” 

“What?!” 

“Something is wrong. Sometime between this morning and last night, they got back. The portal is messed up, it’s too clean. Tell Jaehee, Jumin, and Yoosung we won’t be coming. Saeran and I are going to stay back and figure it out. (Y/N) would want you all to continue with the party,” I instructed him. 

“Yeah, uh, okay. I’ll tell them. I hope they’re okay…” he paused. “Yeah okay, call me if you find anything okay?” Zen asked. 

“I will, bye,” I hung up and immediately got back to work. The code is to clean for it to have just stopped working. (Y/N) is probably so confused and angry. I’m sorry. I’m coming. After another hour or so, I found something. A code that was not supposed to be there. It was a virus. Someone hacked into the portal and left a virus. The virus made the portal stop, made (Y/N) go back and then covered it up. It’s a damn smart virus. I informed Saeran and we worked to kill the virus. I then stumbled on a line of code and stopped breathing. “They did this…” I paused. “I knew it wasn’t nothing. The agency is trying to get back at me by sending (Y/N) back.” Saeran looked up.

“The agency did this?” he asked. I nodded. “What do they want?” 

“They want me to work for them again, if I don’t they’re sending people to hurt (Y/N),” I answered. 

“How can they do that if (Y/N) is in their universe?” 

“They stole the code. They can make their own portal. We have to take them down and fast. Get this portal working again, I’m going to look for where the agency is hiding.” Hang on a little longer (Y/N), I’m coming. I don’t want to lose you.

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 12

I’ve been in this reality for about a month now. Things have been well, I’m adjusted, I talk to the RFA regularly, and Saeyoung and I have gotten even closer. My typical day consists of me working with Jaehee and then coming home to talk with Saeyoung, or chatting on the RFA app before I eat and then sleep. I’m pretty happy actually, it’s a little weird. Tonight is Zen’s performance. I’m really excited about it. Saeyoung thought it would be nice to make the performance into a date night. So I’ll be with him for it. I somehow convinced Yoosung to invite that girl to go with him, and she accepted. I’m really excited to meet her. I think Jaehee and Jumin are going together, as strictly friends. I don’t think I could imagine them in any sort of relationship other than that. They were the only two left and decided it’d be easier to go together instead of someone they don’t know. The two of them are so busy, I’d be surprised if they had met someone. Saeran isn’t going, I think it’s too much of a crowd for his comfort, which I get. I’ve only ever been to one musical, and it was in high school. I went to get extra credit for the class, but I enjoyed it. Saeyoung and I decided to go eat before the musical, so I’m currently getting ready. I got a nice, and pretty fancy, dress. I decided on an all black one, hoping it wouldn’t draw much attention to me, but it would still be nice enough to wear. It’s your typical full length, sleeveless dress, with some lace. I smiled as I looked in the mirror with it on. I don’t get to dress up often. I finished getting ready, making sure this time to not tear my room apart. I sat on my couch and waited for Saeyoung. In the meantime, I got onto the RFA chat. 

Yoosung: I’m going to throw up for real

Jaehee: Yoosung you’ll be fine

Jumin: I do not understand why you are so nervous

(Y/N): you got this Yoosung!!! 

Yoosung: what if I embarrass myself and she never wants to see me again?

(Y/N): then she’s missing out 

Yoosung: not really…

(Y/N): yes really doofus. Just be yourself and if nothing comes out of it, then fine. If the relationship continues great. 

(Y/N): just relax 

Yoosung: thanks...I should get going to pick her up for dinner. See you all there! 

Jaehee: good luck!

Jumin: bye

(Y/N): you got this! 

*Yoosung has left the chat

*Zen has entered the chat 

(Y/N): Zen!

Zen: hello everyone! Oops looks like I missed Yoosung. That boy, he has nothing to be worried about, I’m the one that could make a fool out of myself in front of an entire audience 

Jaehee: I don’t think that’s possible with your looks

Zen: you’re right. No one could stay mad at me 

(Y/N): I’m sure you will do great! I’m really excited about it! 

Jaehee: as am I 

Jumin: I look forward to the cast’s performance 

Zen:...

(Y/N):...

(Y/N): oh shoot gotta go Saeyoung is here. Good luck Zen, I’m sure you will kill it! 

Zen: thank you (Y/N), I hope you enjoy the show! 

*(Y/N) has left the chat

I got up to answer the door. I swung open the door and immediately my jaw dropped. Saeyoung was in a suit. Like an actual suit. I’d never seen him in one before, but wow. He smiled at me. “Like it?” he asked. I shut my mouth and nodded, a bit embarrassed. “You look stunning as always,” he told me. 

“Meh, you look better,” I replied. He looked shocked. 

“I will have none of that. While I am incredibly attractive, no one could ever compare to your beauty!” I laughed. 

“Yeah whatever. Lets go,” I smiled and shook my head, before turning to shut and lock my door. When I turned back around, Saeyoung was frowning. “What?” I asked, 

“I’m serious. Not even Zen is as attractive as you. Why don’t you think you're pretty?” he asked. I started to grow a bit uncomfortable. Does he want specifics? Got a lot of reasons. I’m not sharing. I shrugged my shoulders and walked past him, hoping he would get the hint that I didn’t want to talk about this. Thankfully, he dropped the subject. We drove to the restaurant and parked. When we walked in, I realized how fancy the restaurant was. I felt a bit out of place. There was a huge chandelier in the center of the room, the tables all had white cloths, not to mention everyone there looked extremely successful. They all wore suits and dresses, and I could tell by the atmosphere that they were mostly business men and women. I looked at Saeyoung and whispered to him. “Saeyoung are you sure we can be here?” 

“Yes, I made reservations. Is something wrong?” he whispered back. I shook my head. We followed the waiter and sat down. I tried to stay calm as I looked at the prices of the meals. He’s already spending so much money on me, this is too much. How does he even have all of this money? I stayed pretty quiet. We ordered and there was a period of silence. This hasn’t happened before...we always have something to talk about. Think of something. Wait why is he being quiet? He almost never is...unless. I looked up at him, well up and down rather. I noticed his leg was bouncing slightly, his hands rubbing together in his lap, his eyes unable to focus on one thing. My suspicion was confirmed. Saeyoung is just as uncomfortable as I am. Now what can we do about that? No drinking. Nothing that will draw too much attention to us. “You okay?” I finally asked, unable to think of anything else to say. He looked at me. 

“Yeah,” he answered. I looked at him and furrowed my brows. 

“No you’re not,” I stated. He sighed. 

“Alright fine. I maybe shouldn’t have chosen somewhere like this. I mean have you seen the people around us? I knew the place was nice, but I didn’t think this was where all the sophisticated business people came to eat and talk about business! I feel like I’ve stumbled into the king’s palace or something!” he confessed. I giggled. 

“I think so too. Maybe we could just go somewhere else? Wait no forget I said that. I’m sure it took you a long time to be able to get a reservation here.” 

“No no no. I thought you would want to stay so I was going to suck it up and hope we didn’t stand out too much. If you’re fine going I’m all for it,” he quickly said. 

“Well, okay, but we’ve already ordered…” I began. I watched as he quickly pulled out a check and filled it out. 

“There. Food paid for, with a tip. Let’s go,” he said and quickly stood up. That confused me. Is he really that uncomfortable? That doesn’t seem like him… I stood up and we quickly made our way out and to his car. When we got in the car I noticed his breathing was off and quickening. This really concerned me. “Saeyoung are you okay?” I asked. He didn’t answer. He put his head on the wheel and sat there. I saw small drops falling onto his pants. Then the alarms started going off in my head when I realized the signs. Is he having a panic attack? I tried my best to soothe him through it, doing all of the things I would want when I’m having one. After a few minutes his breathing returned to normal. He sniffed and softly spoke. “Sorry, thank you.” 

“You don’t need to apologize. Do you want to talk about it? You could have told me you were uncomfortable sooner and we could have left. I don’t want you to put yourself through anything that makes you uncomfortable. You don’t need to put a mask on your emotions when you’re with me” I replied. He shook his head, and lifted it. He wiped away the remaining tears. 

“No it’s not you. I think I saw someone there,” he trailed off. 

“Someone there?” I pushed. 

“I think I saw my old boss.”

“What? Like from when you were in the game? Is that possible?” 

“I don’t know. I thought it was just the RFA that got out, but it’s possible when we came and joined this reality that they did too. Or that they got mixed in. Maybe they were real and are here. But I saw someone that at least looked like him, and it brought back memories...I don’t know what’s going on,” he rambled. I interrupted him. 

“Calm down. If they came then we figure it out.” He shook his head. 

“No if they’re here and remember, they’ll still be after me. If they saw me I could put everyone in danger again. They’re smart, they’ll remember everything. They’ll figure out how they got here. They’ll start over. They probably already have. What if they saw me? Even worse, what if they saw you? We passed him on our way in, he could come. We need to go. Now.” Saeyoung quickly started his car and drove away. 

“Is the agency that bad?” I asked.

“Yes. They don’t let people leave. If they saw me with you they will come for you. We need to get into hiding.” 

“Woah Saeyoung, this is all an if. We don’t know how much they remember, or what they’ve done, or if they’ve even seen us!” I told him, getting more and more concerned. “I think you need to calm down. Get Saeran to look into it.” He thought. I could tell he was worried, he bit his lip. “Saeran can look into it. If we’re not being followed right now, then there’s no way they’d make a move this fast. If the agency is as bad as you say, they’re not going to just go in without a plan. Your stuff is secure, there’s no way they would have known we were going to be there.” 

“Okay...fine,” he finally agreed. He pulled over and called Saeran. Saeyoung told him everything that happened, and Saeran agreed with me. Saeran said he would look into it so that we could go continue our night. I could tell Saeyoung was still nervous about it. We only had enough time to go to Zen’s performance, so we skipped dinner and went. The air between us was tense, and I was worried the others would notice. Before we got out of the car I made sure to remind Saeyoung that Saeran would call if he found anything, so to try to relax. Saeyoung put on his cheerful face, I could tell he was still nervous, but he didn’t show it. Zen’s performance was great. We all met up with him afterwards to congratulate him. Saeyoung and I left rather quickly after that. I felt bad not being able to stay longer and meet the girl Yoosung brought, but both Saeyoung and I were worried. 

Saeyoung drove quickly to his bunker. He hadn’t heard from Saeran and was worried. When we got there he ran inside and to Saeran’s office. I stayed behind and waited on their couch. I didn’t want to intrude. While I waited I decided to text Yoosung. 

(Y/N): Hey Yoosung! I’m sorry we had to leave so quick, how did everything go? 

Yoosung: good I think! We have another date planned 

(Y/N): that’s great Yoosung! I’m happy for you

Yoosung: are you sure you’re okay? You seemed off tonight? 

(Y/N): i’ll be fine

Yoosung: saeyoung isn’t being an idiot is he?

(Y/N): :) no he didn’t do anything. I’m just a bit tired 

Yoosung: okay...get some sleep then! Goodnight!

(Y/N): night! 

I felt bad lying to Yoosung, but I didn’t want to worry him. Saeyoung came into the living room and sat next to me. I waited for him to say something. “Nothing,” he said. 

“What do you mean?” I asked. 

“There’s nothing on them. So either I imagined it all, they don’t remember, or the agency hasn’t started up again here yet.” 

“So we’re safe?” 

“For now.” 

“I trust you all. If you can’t find anything, then I’m sure there’s no threat,” I told him. 

“Thank you. And I’m sorry about all of this, I overreacted again. I haven’t had a panic attack in a while, sorry you had to see it.” He looked down. I frowned. 

“I told you not to apologize. I’m glad I was there. You’ve seen me a lot worse. If anything, you just care too much about me.” 

“No one could care too much about you,” he argued. We sat in silence for a while. “I guess I should take you home,” Saeyoung stated. I nodded. “Though I am still worried about this.” 

“I’ll be fine. You’ll come for me if anything happens, but nothing will,” I assured him. He nodded. Saeyoung drove me and walked me up to my apartment. I hugged him and whispered in his ear. “Thank you for letting me be there for you. I still enjoyed tonight because I got to be with you. I’ll be fine here.” I broke the hug and looked at him. He looked like he was going to cry again. Instead, he leaned in and kissed me. I could tell he was worried about leaving me here alone. When we broke the kiss, I smiled at him. “Nothing is going to happen. I promise.” He nodded. We said goodbye, and Saeyoung left. I got in my apartment and got ready for bed. Before I fell asleep I made sure to text Saeyoung. 

(Y/N): don’t stay up worrying about me

Saeyoung: i don't think that's possible…

(Y/N): I’ve locked all my windows and doors. You and Saeran didn’t find anything. I’m fine

Saeyoung: I know, but I’m still worried

(Y/N): do you want me to come over? 

Saeyoung: honestly?

Saeyoung: yes. But I know that I shouldn’t want you too

(Y/N): there’s nothing wrong with it. 

(Y/N): let me pack some things and I can head over

Saeyoung: no

Saeyoung: it’s fine. I’m fine really. You don’t need to go out of your way and come here

(Y/N): then how about you facetime me, or whatever the equivalent is here for video chatting

Saeyoung: what? 

(Y/N): we can video chat and I can plug my phone in before I sleep, so then it’s like you’re here with me

Saeyoung: you don’t need to 

(Y/N): too bad 

I quickly called Saeyoung to a video chat. I smiled when he answered. I waved before plugging my phone in and setting it next to me so we could see each other. “See? Now it’s like we’re together!” I told him. 

“You really don’t have to do this (Y/N),” he said. 

“Mmm, but I want to. Now if I don’t see you laying down in the next 10 minutes I’m going to be mad. You need to sleep.” He smiled and soon made it to his bedroom. It was a little awkward, but we soon talked about pointless things. I grew tired quickly and don’t know when it was that I fell asleep. But I know I slept with Saeyoung there on the other side of my phone.

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 11

The past few weeks have been an adjustment. I started working at Jaehee’s cafe, which is really great. As expected, Jaehee is an amazing boss, and for the most part, the people in this universe are incredibly kind. With some help from Yoosung, I’ve applied to start going to college next semester. I had to get Saeyoung’s help with records. I don’t know how he did it, but I have everything I need to officially live here. I’m mostly enjoying my life, which is weird for me. Normally I’m not happy, but here I have friends and a job and little stress. Zen’s performance is coming up, and he’s got tickets for all of us. I’m really excited about it. I woke up today and went to open the shop with Jaehee. I reluctantly let Saeyoung give me a car, but i’m not keeping it. I told him I’ll only use it until I can get my own. I had decided to bring over dinner, as well as the clothes I borrowed from Saeyoung a few days after the whole drunk incident, but that was when he sent me home with a car. Jaehee and I opened the cafe and got through the morning rush. Around noon, I went on my break. I made myself a cup of coffee and grabbed some food, before sitting down in the back of the cafe. I checked my phone. Unfortunately, no one was online to chat, but there was a text from Saeyoung. I smiled. I read the message and immediately grew nervous. Am I ready? I think so. It’s Saeyoung, I’ll be fine. 

Saeyoung: Hey (Y/N)! This might still be too soon, but would you like to go on an official date soon? 

(Y/N): I would love to! :)

I sat and stared at my phone. I feel conflicted. I know I like Saeyoung, but it still feels weird. How can he like me? I’m, well, me… Saeyoung answered back quicker than I had expected. 

Saeyoung: :). Is tomorrow night too soon? 

(Y/N): I’ll check with Jaehee to try to get off, but it should be fine! 

Saeyoung: perfect 

I tried to hide the smile growing on my face. It will be fun. I know it. I’ll have to go buy something to wear though. I tried to not think about the date and just eat my food, but it was hard. What if I’m too awkward? What if he really changes his mind? What do I do? What do I wear? Ugh. I checked the time. I got up and put my apron back on to get to work. I got back to work, putting on my friendly face for customers. Around an hour later Jaehee stood next to me while I was making a drink. “Is everything okay? You seem to have something on your mind,” Jaehee asked. Oh right I still have to ask her for tomorrow off. What if she needs me? What if it makes her disappointed in me? It’s one night, come on (Y/N). And this is Jaehee, she’ll be honest. “I’m okay,” I paused. “I think. Saeyoung just asked me out.” Her eyes widened slightly before she smiled. 

“It’s about time he asked you. Do you feel ready?” she asked.

“I think so. I’m nervous. I don’t know why I am, it’s just Saeyoung,” I replied.

“I’m sure being nervous for a first date is pretty normal. You don’t need to worry. While Saeyoung is interesting, he’s kind. He won’t try anything.” I smiled. 

“Yeah I know.”

“When is the date?” she asked. 

“Oh yeah, um, he was asking about tomorrow night. I know I’m scheduled to work though so if you need me to I can reschedule,” I offered. Jaehee laughed. 

“No need to do that. I can handle the shop on my own, you can go early, or even take all of tomorrow off.” 

“Thanks Jaehee, you really are the best.” After our short conversation, the cafe started to get busy again. I did my best not to think about tomorrow, but it was hard and it was distracting me. Thankfully, I kept enough focus to make orders correctly. But the clumsiness did ensue. I completely tripped and spilled an entire order on the ground. It was embarrassing. I apologized a million times to both Jaehee and the customer, both of which were really nice about it. My shift came to an end around 3pm. I waved bye to Jaehee and clocked out. First stop, clothing store. One problem though, I don’t know any. I pulled out my phone and searched for a store. I decided to try one called J&N. When I got there I immediately began looking for something to wear, but quickly was overwhelmed. What do I wear? Is this even cute? I was starting to break down in the dressing room. This looks terrible on me. Why did I think I’d look cute in this? I can’t wear this? Wait. Who knows fashion best? Zen. I decided that before giving up entirely, I would ask Zen for help. I sent him a few pictures of some outfits I was looking at. 

(Y/N): *pictures*

(Y/N): Zen helppp!! Saeyoung asked me on a date for tomorrow and I have no idea what to wear or buy

(Y/N): bless me with your knowledge 

I waited, and waited. I sighed. Guess he’s probably busy with rehearsals. I shouldn’t bother him anyway. I started to gather my things before I heard a knock at the dressing room I was in. “(Y/N)?” someone called out. There’s only so many people that know me here. Kinda sounded like Zen. I opened up the door and was surprised. It was Zen. He smiled. “Hello!” 

“Hello?” I asked. “Why are you here? How did you even know where I was?”

“Oh, you asked me for help so I came, duh. And in the pictures you sent I recognized the dressing room. I was in the area already so I decided to come. Also you really need help. Here try these.” He handed me a pile of clothes. I smiled. I’m glad I have someone who can help. I grabbed the clothes and started trying things on. I came out of the room each time to show Zen. We would discuss and then I’d go back to try on more things. It was actually kind of fun. I tried on the last outfit. Zen and I agreed that this had to be the one, and if it wasn’t then we’d go somewhere else. I looked in the mirror. Woah. I think this looks good. I feel good. I walked out of the room to show Zen. His mouth hung open and he nodded. “Oh yeah. That’s it. That’s what you are wearing tomorrow. How does it feel? Thoughts?” he asked. 

“I like it a lot! I feel good in this one for sure!” I replied. 

“Good. It looks really good. You look really good I mean. I think Saeyoung will like it, and if he doesn’t then he needs new glasses.” I laughed. 

“Thanks, and I think so too. Thank you for helping by the way. I really appreciate it. I would have been so lost, but you swooped in and saved me from looking like an idiot.” 

“It’s no problem. I’ve got to head back to rehearsal in half an hour, but I’m sure tomorrow will be great. I’m excited for you two.” I smiled. I went back and got changed into my clothes and paid for my new outfit. I said goodbye to Zen and headed home for the day. 

I woke up feeling nervous, which isn’t that unusual for me I guess. Saeyoung told me he’d come pick me up around 5p. I got up at 7a to go help Jaehee at the shop. I ate a small breakfast and made my way there. I was a mess. I kept messing up orders and dropping everything from the pen I used to the actual orders. I was stressed. I was doing a terrible job, just because I was nervous. I need to calm down. It’s just a date (Y/N), get it together. But I couldn’t get it together. Around noon, Jaehee nicely told me I could leave. She really was nice about it, but I still feel bad. I was going to stay until 3 again, which meant she’d be working alone for three hours until another employee came. I guess I always mess things up. I hope I don’t mess up this date. I got into my car feeling down. I leaned down and put my head on the steering wheel and sighed. I was close to tears, I felt so bad. It’s fine. You’re fine (Y/N). Jaehee isn’t like that. She understands. She’s not going to fire you because of one bad day. The customers were so-so about today. I probably made someone’s day a lot worse. I wiped away a couple tears and drove to my apartment. Yoosung and I promised to talk to each other when we felt down. We didn’t want either of us to spiral any further. I texted him as soon as I got home. 

(Y/N): T_T today has sucked

Yoosung: what’s going on? What happened? 

(Y/N): well, Saeyoung asked me to go out with him today, but I still went into work to help Jaehee. But I guess I was so nervous about tonight I kept making mistakes 

(Y/N): I kept getting orders wrong and dropping everything…

(Y/N): Jaehee asked me to leave….I still had another 3 hours I was supposed to work

(Y/N): why am I like this? 

Yoosung: I’m sure Jaehee understands, and it’s normal to be nervous. I’d be a mess if I were you too. You’re not incapable, you just had a rough day 

(Y/N): yeah I guess so 

Yoosung: I know so. Sometimes we have bad days, it doesn’t make us any less of a person

(Y/N): thanks yoosung :)

Yoosung: anytime. Now stop worrying to me and go get ready to have fun!

(Y/N): okay haha 

I went ahead and did as Yoosung suggested and got ready. I was still really nervous though. I was done getting ready at the perfect time. I heard a knock at my door and went to answer it. I smiled. “Hi Saeyoung!” He stared at me and I grew uncomfortable, so me being an idiot said, “what’s wrong with you? Stop looking at me.” Saeyoung laughed. I’m an idiot. You didn’t have to be so rude (Y/N) geez. 

“Sorry. You look nice. Are you ready to go?” he asked. I nodded. We walked to his car and my curiosity grew. “So what are we doing tonight?” I asked. 

“I’m glad you asked. Also I’m glad you decided on pants instead of a skirt or dress.” he stated. 

“What?” I asked. 

“Nothing. Today, in this universe, there is a carnival going on in the city. I thought it would be fun to go, and didn’t want to go alone,” he paused, and then asked with worry, “do you like carnivals? Or are you one of those people that’s afraid of all the rides?” I smiled.

“I actually love them. I’m a huge fan of roller coasters and things. Carnivals are fun.” 

“Oh good. I would have had to drop you back off and stopped talking to you if you didn’t.” 

“Brutal.” 

“I’m kidding...mostly,” he laughed. I laughed with him. “It would be really hard to love someone who doesn’t want to do stupid and slightly crazy things with me.” 

“I get that,” I chuckled. The rest of the car ride there was fun. We laughed a lot. Saeyoung really is amazing. As soon as I think the conversation will stop, he starts with something else. I don’t think I’ve ever conversed with anyone so easily. When we got to the carnival, the sun was just starting to set. We parked, bought tickets and went in. Our eyes lit up as we scanned the area. There were kids running around yelling, couples holding hands passing by. Not to mention all of the colorful lights and smells. Oh the smell. It smelled like popcorn and treats. I looked over at Saeyoung, he was already looking at me. I smiled. “I haven’t been to one of these in a really long time. I always got overwhelmed by how many people were here so I stopped going. It’s beautiful,” I told him. 

“I’ve only ever been to one, it was for a mission though, so it wasn’t what I wanted,” he replied. I nodded. He reached down and grabbed my hand, I looked down, avoiding all eye contact. “Is this okay? Purely so we don’t lose each other,” Saeyoung asked. I nodded. Before I could process what was happening, I was being pulled away by Saeyoung. We ran to the nearest booth for some food. We got huge things of cotton candy, as well as some normalish food like hot dogs. After that we ran from ride to ride. It was amazing. While we waited in line we talked, mostly about stupid things we’ve done, or things we like. Then we’d laugh and scream on the ride. We both had our hands in the air, smiling until our cheeks hurt. After we had rode all of the rides I was a bit nauseous. We sat down at a table and took it easy for a bit, then we went and played the different games they had. I was terrible at all of them, but somehow Saeyoung was really good. He even won me a cute stuffed bear to take home. The carnival was going to close soon, so we ran again trying to get to all of the rides again. We were running when Saeyoung suddenly stopped in front of me. I ran into his back completely, but he turned around to look at me. “Wait,” he began. I rubbed my head. 

“Ow, why did you stop?” I asked. 

“There’s one ride we didn’t get to!” he answered. I looked up at him confused. 

“What? I’m pretty sure we rode all of them.” 

“Nope!” he pointed over at the ferris wheel. “We forgot about the ferris wheel!” I rolled my eyes. 

“That’s hardly a ride!” I argued. He gasped. 

“It is too a ride! Why wouldn’t it be?” 

“It’s not any fun! You just sit there while it slowly brings you around,” I shook my head.

“No it has to be fun!” he whined. Has he never…?

“Have you never been on one?” I asked. He nodded. I sighed. “Alright I guess we have to then, but I’m warning you, they’re not that fun.” He grabbed my hand again and ran towards the ferris wheel. This is probably the last thing we'll be riding. I forgot his childhood was hard, he’s never even been on a ferris wheel. I have to find a way to make it more interesting. We got into the line and waited. When it was our turn we got into the cart thing. Saeyoung was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. I smiled. I guess it’s a little exciting. The wheel began to move, then stopped for more people to get on. Finally, it filled and began to move. I watched as Saeyoung calmed down, he almost looked disappointed. He looked over at me. “Yeah you’re right. This is boring. Why do people even go on these?” he asked. I laughed. “I’m serious why?” 

“Do you really not know? Or are you screwing with me?” I asked. How would he not know why people typically ride these? 

“I seriously don’t know. I thought they were popular because they’re fun, but clearly that’s not right.” He looks serious. He really doesn’t know? How am I supposed to tell him couples come up here because it’s romantic? Nope. I’m not doing that. He’ll figure it out eventually. He kept looking at me waiting for an answer. I sighed. “It’s for the view,” I told him. Not a complete lie. 

“Oh,” he replied. He looked out over where we were. Sure enough the view was amazing. The cityscape beneath us, and Saeyoung here next to me. I could see the city lights in his eyes, it only made his eyes even more beautiful, which I didn’t think was possible. I hadn’t noticed how long I had been staring at him until he turned and looked at me. “Need something?” he asked. I blushed and looked away. Quick think of something to change the subject….

“Yeah,” I looked back at him. 

“Go on,” he laughed. 

“Wanna know how to make this more fun?” He nodded. I put my hands on the bar in front of me and started swinging the cart back and forth. Saeyoung laughed and helped. So there we were. Two idiots swinging a cart on a ferris wheel back and forth. When we were supposed to get off the worker wasn’t happy and asked us to leave. We had to leave anyway because they were closing down, but whatever. Saeyoung and I held hands as we finally walked back to his car. I was smiling. I just had so much fun, I hope he did too. When we got in the car Saeyoung looked at me. “I don’t wanna take you home yet,” he stated. 

“Are you kidnapping me or something?” I asked. 

“Yes,” he stated. What? My face dropped.

“Wha-”

“I’m kidding (Y/N). I just don’t want today to end, I’m having too much fun,” Saeyoung interrupted. 

“Oh, haha, yeah me too,” I answered. We decided to go and get some ice cream to end our date. We sat in his car and ate the ice cream while talking. When we were done eating there was a pause in conversation, it was the first time that had happened that night. “You know,” Saeyoung began. “I don’t think I expected you to be like this.” 

“What do you mean?” I asked, insecurities starting to creep in. Was the date not good? Was he not having fun? He smiled at me. 

“I don’t know really. I didn’t think I could like someone as much as I like you. I mean, we’ve known each other for a month maybe, but I feel like I’ve known you for longer. I feel like we’ve been through so much. I guess when I went to your universe I expected you to not actually care about me. I expected you would say that your feelings weren’t real and that it was just part of the game, but you didn’t. You returned the feelings I had. I feel like you care. You’re so fun to be around. I don’t know why you’re insecure. You’re absolutely stunning, you’re kind, you make me laugh. You’re just, you, and I love it. I hate that you feel empty sometimes, or are anxious around people, because, really, people would be lucky to get to know you. I feel so lucky that I get to know you. I’d feel even luckier to get to love you. I never knew people could be as perfect as you,” he finished. I sat there and looked at him with my mouth slightly open. No one has ever said anything that beautiful to me. How do I even respond? How can I respond? He took words right out of my mouth. I’m not perfect, but I love being around him. I didn’t know I could feel like this. Turns out I didn’t have to say anything. Saeyoung leaned over and hesitated, before kissing me. I was in shock at first and didn’t move, so he backed away, looking afraid that I wasn’t interested. I snapped out of it and leaned to kiss him back. His lips felt soft against mine. It felt right and sweet. I poured my feelings into it. How much I care about him, how happy he made me even when I thought he didn’t exist, how happy I am to be here. After a few moments, we separated. I smiled and looked down, a bit embarrassed. I could tell he felt the same way. “Uh,” Saeyoung swallowed. “I guess I should take you home now.” I giggled. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” I replied. He started up the car and drove me home. After a minute or two of awkward silence after the kiss, conversation began to flow again. Saeyoung walked me up to my door again. I stopped outside of my door. “Thank you for tonight, I had a lot of fun really,” I told him. 

“I did too. We should do this more,” he replied. 

“I would love that.” I smiled. 

“Can I-,” he paused. “Can we do that again?” It didn’t take long for me to realize what was asking. I nodded. Saeyoung moved his hand to my cheek and kissed me again. I melted into it, wanting to memorize the feeling of his lips on mine. We separated and smiled at each other again. “I’ll see you then, have a good night,” Saeyoung said. 

“Thanks, you too.” I moved to hug him before he left. After we hugged, we said goodbye once again and Saeyoung left. I went inside my apartment and smiled. Wow. A whole night where I didn’t feel anything, but happiness. I can’t remember the last time that happened. I got ready for bed, but found that I was unable to sleep. Normally, I can’t sleep because I’m thinking about all the stupid things I did that day, but tonight was different. I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about how much fun I had and wondering when I’d get to see him next. Eventually, my thoughts slowed and I slept.

[lindalevanimamm]

HEY!

Just a reminder that if you’re 18+ GO VOTE!! And if you’re not old enough to vote, encourage those around you that can vote, to go and vote! It’s super important! 

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 10

I started to wake up because I was feeling cold. I snuggled further into Yoosung’s chest. Wait. What? My eyes quickly shot open, and sure enough I was sleeping next to, well half on top of, Yoosung. My mind raced. What happened? Did Saeyoung see? I hope neither gets the wrong idea? I like Yoosung, sure, but I have feelings for Saeyoung. What do I do? Do I just go back to sleep and hope Yoosung understands? I don’t want to hurt Yoosung in any way...or do I just get up and pretend nothing happened? Maybe Yoosung won’t remember. Ugh I don’t know. I’ll just pretend I haven’t woken up...I’m cold and he’s pretty warm. Wait where did this blanket even come from? Crap, someone definitely saw. Before I could think of what I was going to do, I could feel the urge to puke. I got off of Yoosung quickly and ran to the bathroom, where I threw up my dinner from last night. Man why did I drink? I’ve never been that stupid. I don’t even remember half of what happened. Wait, I totally dumped out all that I’ve been feeling to Yoosung, like everything. Even about me being bisexual. Ugh. This is too much. I rested my head onto the toilet seat, real sanitary I know. I lifted my head up when I heard someone running to the same bathroom I was in. The door was thrown open and before I could process what was happening, Yoosung was next to me taking his turn throwing up in the toilet. I backed away, giving him some space. “Ughh” Yoosung groaned. 

“Ugh seconded,” I replied. He looked up at me. 

“What were we thinking?” he asked. I shrugged. 

“I have no idea. How much do you remember?” I asked. He looked down. 

“Well, everything from our heart to heart to now I guess. The rest is a blur. I think I’ve embarrassed myself more than I ever have before. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone all of that before…” 

“It’s the same for me. Promise not to tell anyone else? I won’t tell anyone what we talked about.” 

“Deal” we linked pinkies, sealing our promise in a pinkie promise. “So uh, should we talk about what happened after the heart to heart?” Yoosung mumbled. 

“Yeah…” I softly began. “I don’t know how to say this without hurting you-”

“Don’t. I mean, you did tell me exactly how you feel about Saeyoung. I’m fine staying friends. We can think of everything that happened yesterday as purely platonic,” Yoosung interrupted. I looked over at him, surprised at how he took it all. 

“Are you sure that’s fine?” I asked. He nodded and smiled. 

“Saeyoung is a lucky guy, but if I’m being honest I’ve got my eye on someone else.” Yoosung blushed. I smiled. He’s grown up. 

“Oooh, you’re going to have to spill to me,” I joked and pushed him gently with my arm. Before he could spill, I was about too. “Ugh move it.” I told him before puking once again. Yoosung grabbed my hair and held it so it wouldn’t get messy. After a few minutes I was finally done. I smiled and thanked him. “Okay, I think I’m done now. Now you gotta spill. Who is she?? Or he?? Or them??” I pushed. He smiled. 

“She’s in a lot of my classes at school. I haven’t talked to her much because I’m afraid to, but she seems really nice. Not to mention she’s so pretty.” I smiled at him. 

“You should talk to her! Anyone would be lucky to be with you!” 

“Thanks.” We were startled by a knock at the door. Saeyoung walked in and looked down at us. Both Yoosung and I looked down at the floor, embarrassed from last night. 

“You two look like a mess. How are we doing?” he asked. 

“Okay I guess. Got a headache,” I replied. 

“Same, but also I’m starving and don’t remember anything,” Yoosung said. 

“Well, I did not expect both of you to feed off of each other like that. I mean seriously, you all acted like children. Do you know how hard it was for Saeran and I to get you to come here and sleep?” he asked. 

“Sorry, I don’t normally drink that much, like ever,” I mumbled. Yoosung nodded in agreement. 

“Well, you two get cleaned up and I’ll go start breakfast and grab some painkillers,” Saeyoung told us. I laughed. 

“Saeyoung if you step foot in that kitchen and start cooking Saeran will kill you,” I reminded him. His head dropped. 

“Yeah...I’ll go wake him up. I can get you two painkillers though!” Saeyoung exited the bathroom, Yoosung and I followed behind him. Saeyoung reached into a cabinet and passed out the painkillers. Yoosung and I each took one and swallowed. I went and found a bathroom. I striped down and got into the shower. The water was refreshing. While last night was super embarrassing, it was a lot of fun, and I feel a lot closer to Yoosung. At least now I feel like there's another person I can go to. About half way through the shower I realized I didn’t have a change of clothes. I got out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. I felt bad asking, but what else was I supposed to do? “Saeyoung?” I called out. 

“Yeah?” he replied. I heard him start to come to the bathroom. I closed the door more so just my head was sticking out. I blushed a bit when he came into view. Once he noticed I was only in a towel, he spun around as fast as he could. “Can you get me something to wear? My clothes from yesterday are fine,” I asked. 

“Y-yes of course, sorry, uh, I’ll be back,” he answered. Saeyoung quickly walked away and out of my sight. The embarrassment continues. I feel so bad so burdening him so much. First he’s paying for my apartment, then he took me here last night, and now he’s still taking care of me. Saeyoung came back, avoiding my eyes, and handed me some clothes. “Are these okay?” he asked. 

“Yes, thank you. Sorry about this. I’ll make sure I get them back to you.” I shut the door and got changed. I couldn’t help but notice how the clothes smelled like him. I smiled. It’s almost as if we’re a thing. But I’m not ready for that yet, or am I? Who knows. Once I was dressed I walked out to the kitchen. Saeran was cooking, while Yoosung and Saeyoung were sitting down at the table. I smiled and then took a seat across from them. I felt a bit awkward. I’m sitting with my crush, and a guy I literally cried and fell asleep on, though I guess I’ve done that to both of them. Saeran came and put plates of food in front of us. It looked incredible. “Woah Saeran this looks great, thank you!” He smiled. 

“It’s no problem. Are you feeling better?” he asked. I nodded. Breakfast started off awkward, but quickly grew more comfortable. Saeyoung and Saeran told us what all we did last night. I felt kinda bad. Yoosung and I really were a lot. After breakfast, Saeyoung offered to take both of us home. The three of us piled into the car. Saeyoung dropped me off first, making sure to walk me all the way to the door. “You know you didn’t have to walk me to my door?” I asked him.

“I know, but I wanted to make sure you got in.” I smiled. 

“If you say so. Thank you by the way for everything. For bringing me here, for helping me last night, for just being here.” 

“It’s no problem,” he paused and looked me in my eyes. A rare occasion of Saeyoung being serious? “I’ll always be here for you,” he finished, then smiled and continued. “Have a good day and make sure to rest!” He waved goodbye and walked away, leaving me stunned. What was that all about? He didn’t? Did I say something last night? I mean I know I talked to Yoosung, but did I tell him something? He’s never that serious. Eventually I got out of my daze and walked into my apartment. The first thing I did was digging through the mess I left my room in to change into my own clothes. Ugh, I should clean. I spent the next hour cleaning up my room, which was surprising because normally I’d honestly just leave it how it is. I should thank Saeyoung and Saeran...they really didn’t have to do all of that last night. My headache started to come back, so I decided against doing anything for the rest of the day. I took some more medicine and went to my bed. I curled up in my blankets and put on an anime. An episode in, my phone started blowing up. I checked and almost all the RFA were talking. I decided to pop in, and immediately regretted it. 

Zen: *video*

Yoosung: We did not do that! 

Yoosung: T_T

Twin1: did you not watch that video? Yoosung you guys were so loud

Twin1: oops need to change that

Saeyoung: there

Yoosung: ugh I shouldn’t have drank that much

(Y/N): Same T_T

Zen: (Y/N)! How are you?

Saeyoung: hii

(Y/N): I’ve been better...sorry about yesterday....

I decided to watch the video Zen had sent. It was really embarrassing. I was hanging onto Yoosung and we were swaying side to side singing our hearts out. Yikes. I really should never do that again. 

(Y/N): omg were we really that loud?

Saeyoung: ya

Saeyoung: it took Saeran and I forever to get you all to leave

Saeyoung: Yoosung went pretty willingly with me, when I told him he had to go, but according to Saeran you were not going to leave 

(Y/N): sorry Saeran T_T

Saeran: it was cute honestly. You trying to be defiant, I thought I was going to have a bruise when I woke up this morning 

(Y/N): a bruise?! What did I do??

Saeran: well, you refused to go so I tried to pick you up and you swung some punches 

Zen: it was fun to watch

(Y/N): I AM SO SORRY OMG

Saeran: it’s all good, I’ve dealt with worse

Saeyoung: and then after we went to get ice cream and you two made fun of me because I can’t braid hair

Yoosung: well I mean, you can’t it’s so bad 

Saeyoung: *crying emoji thing*

(Y/N): sorry

(Y/N): we didn’t like...pour our hearts out or anything right?...

I asked that hoping he’d say no. I know that we definitely did after we were supposed to go to bed, but I don’t know about before. 

Saeyoung: no mostly normal drunk stuff, Yoosung being a baby

Yoosung: hey!

Zen: as much as I’d like to stay and chat I’ve got to go to rehearsal, bye!! Rest up (Y/N)!

(Y/N): good luck Zen!

*Zen has left the chatroom 

(Y/N): I can’t believe I caused so much trouble T_T

Yoosung: me too T_T. I never drink that much, why did we even keep drinking?

Saeran: you and (Y/N) tried to convince all of us that you could handle your alcohol, so you both just kept going

Yoosung: *crying emoji*

(Y/N): wait why don’t I have the cool emojis Saeyoung? :(((((

Saeyoung: I’m working on it I promise!!

(Y/N): ooooh

(Y/N): but I’ve also never drank that much, or felt this bad after drinking

Yoosung: I’m having to skip class because of it too T_T

(Y/N): T_T

Saeyoung: that’s what happens when you drink like children 

Saeran: I hope we’ve learned our lessons? 

Yoosung: yeah…

(Y/N): yes dads 

Saeran: ew I’d never be with Saeyoung 

Saeyoung: meanie 

Saeran: have you seen how you live? I feel sorry for whoever ends up with you

Saeran: gotta go, got my appointment in half an hour. Bye

(Y/N): bye! 

Yoosung: see ya!

*Saeran has left the chatroom

Saeyoung: I should get going too, gotta drive him. You two take care!

(Y/N): I will, bye! 

Yoosung: bye!

*Saeyoung has left the chatroom

Yoosung: hey (Y/N), can we talk? I’ll call you

(Y/N): of course 

I left the chatroom. I’m pretty sure I know what he wants to talk about. I also remember more of our conversation last night. Turns out we’re both really struggling...I’m worried about him. My phone rang and I picked it up. “Hey. Sorry I know you also probably don’t want to talk about what we talked about last night, but I feel like we should. I’m worried about you, are you sure you’re okay?” Yoosung asked. I sighed. 

“You beat me to it. I think I am right now, but I definitely haven’t been. I’m definitely happier now than I have been, but I still feel pretty empty. I still don’t like myself and think I’m a burden, haha. But I know you feel the same…”

“Yeah...I do. It sucks doesn’t it? Have you thought about therapy?” 

“Yeah, I have actually, a lot. I’ve never gone though, I always get anxious or weird about it and don’t make an appointment. I know I shouldn’t see myself as a burden, just like how I don’t see you as one, but I look at myself and feel like I am. Does that make sense?” 

“Yeah it does. I still think everything that happened with Rika is my fault. I should have been better. School is hard, I don’t even know what I’m doing with it,” Yoosung confessed. 

“I know. College is so stressful, and it seems like the professors have no mercy. Maybe we should go together,” I suggested. 

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about school, mostly because I don’t want to keep relying on Saeyoung for my rent. So maybe I can go to the same school and we’ll see each other!” I suggested. The line was silent for a moment. 

“That would be cool, but it’s completely your choice. Didn’t Jaehee offer you a job?”

“She did, but I could do it on the side. Plus if I go there’s more of a chance of me meeting this girl you like!” Yoosung laughed. 

“I guess so haha. Also about what you mentioned to me,” he paused. “About your sexuality….I-I want you to know that I’ll accept you and be there for you no matter what. I’ll support you even if no one else will, but I’m sure the rest of the RFA will.” I smiled to myself, though I was hoping he didn’t remember that small detail.

“Thank you Yoosung. You’re the first person I’ve ever talked to about it, I’m still not quite sure why I did. I guess it was all just the alcohol.” 

“Well I’m glad you did. I don’t know about you, but I at least feel a bit better knowing that I’m not alone and that someone knows,” he stated. 

“Me too.”

“Well I should let you go, I think I’m going to go take a nap, thank you for talking with me.”

“It’s no problem, I’m glad I did. Bye.” Just like that our conversation was over. I hope I won’t regret saying any of that. I spent the rest of my day resting and trying to git rid of the massive hangover I had given myself. 

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 9

I spent most of my days the same. I would talk with some RFA members, watch anime, and slowly explore this new universe. Saeyoung was right, most everything was the same. It’s a bit disappointing, but also nice that it’s not a huge adjustment. Today I woke up excited, but also nervous. It’s Sunday, the day I’m going to meet all of the RFA members. Everyone is going to be there. I checked the time, I had about an hour and a half to get ready. I sat in front of my closet. I really should have gone and bought something, I don’t have anything cute. I destroyed my room looking for something to wear. I finally settled on a simple outfit. I also decided to put some makeup on. I rarely wear it so I’m not very good, but I want to make a good first impression. I sat down in front of my mirror and began. I hope today goes well. Actually, I hope I don’t get too anxious and awkward. I don’t really know any of them, but they all know each other. I want to fit in with them. This is my chance to finally make some friends. They won’t care about you, no one does. I sighed. There’s that stupid little voice. It’ll be fine. I’ll act like everything is normal. I’ll act like I am happy and excited for everything. Not how incredibly scared I am about living in this new universe. I need to figure out what I’m doing. I can’t stay here and mooch off of Saeyoung forever. I need to either get a job, or work on a way to go to school. I can’t depend on him forever, he’ll leave eventually too. No. He wouldn’t. Why am I acting as if we’re together? I barely know him, he can’t leave me when we’re nothing. I hope I at least make one friend out of today. What do friends even do? Will they even want to be friends with me? I heard my doorbell ring, startling me a bit. I looked at my phone and didn’t realize how much time had passed. I quickly got up to answer the door. Saeyoung had offered to pick me up and take me to Jaehee’s coffee shop. Probably for multiple reasons. Reason one, I don’t have a car here and I refuse to let Saeyoung just give me one. Reason two, it’s a long walk from here and there isn’t a bus stop close. Reason three, I don't think Saeyoung would trust me to drive after the whole ticket incident a few days ago. I opened up the door and smiled. “Hey Saeyoung! Give me just one more minute and I’ll be ready to go, you can come in!” I moved back inside, letting him in. 

“Hey (Y/N)! And take your time, I got here a bit early,” Saeyoung replied. 

“Is Saeran coming today?” I yelled across my apartment. Where did I put those shoes?

“He is. He’s waiting in the car right now,” he yelled back. Seriously where in the world?

“I’m glad!” I continued to tear apart my room to find the shoes I wanted to wear. Ah, there they are. I grabbed the shoes from off the floor and stood up, of course hitting my head on the shelf on the way up. When I hit it, it also knocked off a few books that landed on the floor making a lot of noise. “Ow,” I mumbled, rubbing my head. 

“Everything okay (Y/N)?” I heard Saeyoung yell. 

“Everything’s great!” I answered. I guess I get a little clumsy when I’m nervous. I put the shoes on and walked back to my living room. I smiled. “Okay I’m ready!” Saeyoung looked at me concerned. “(Y/N), what did you do I thought you said you were fine!” 

“What are you talking about?” I asked. He ran over to me, reaching for my head. 

“Your head is bleeding! Go sit down, I'll grab the first aid kit.” He dropped his hands and I laughed. “Why are you laughing?” he asked me. 

“I don’t know! I guess I’m just a mess right now!” He shook his head and laughed. Saeyoung then went into my kitchen and grabbed the first aid kit. He was adamant that I should get one, and now I was glad he convinced me. I sat down on my couch. Wow I am so dumb. Seriously, who in the world hits their head on a shelf so hard that it bleeds?! Saeyoung came back and sat next to me with the kit. He opened it up, grabbing an alcohol wipe and band-aid. I giggled. So much for a first impression, everyone is going to notice a band aid on my head. I’m going to have to explain this to everyone. ‘Hi I’m (Y/N), and I was so excited and nervous to come that I hit my head on a shelf’. Saeyoung looked at me. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just thinking about how it’s the first time I’m meeting everyone and I’m going to have to explain how much of a clutz I am,” I replied. Saeyoung smiled. He then brought the wipe to the nice sized cut I had gotten to clean it. I jumped when it hit the cut, it burned a bit. “Sorry,” he mumbled. He then got the band aid and put it on top. I saluted him. “Thanks doc!” He saluted back. 

“Make sure you’re more careful out on the field soldier.” I giggled. 

“Can we go now?” I asked. Saeyoung nodded. We made our way out of my apartment and to his car. We got in the car. “Hi Saeran!” I said after I got in. He replied with a polite hello, and we were on our way. We made small talk, or I tried to, I was more busy thinking about how this would all go. I was definitely excited, but also really worried. The three of us finally made it to the cafe. I smiled. It was such a cute looking shop. We all got out of the car and headed inside. Unfortunately for me, everyone was already there, so when we walked in I was overwhelmed by everyone. I just smiled through it. They each came up introducing themselves, and honestly I don’t remember what exactly each said to me, so I’m very glad I know their names already. I know I reluctantly explained why I had a nice sized band aid on my head and they all just laughed. Jaehee asked everyone for what they wanted, as if she were still working. They all told her, I offered to help her since there were a lot of drinks to make. We went to the counter and began. “It’s weird seeing you in person.” Jaehee stated. 

“I feel that, but it’s nice as well.”

“I agree. By the way, you seem to know your way around the machinery, is there a reason why? Most people aren’t able to make these so easily,” she asked.

“Oh I actually worked as a barista for a few months in between school sessions,” I answered. 

“Really? That’s so cool! I know this might be too much to think about right now with you adjusting, but if you need a place to work, or can’t find anywhere your welcome to start working here.”

“Seriously? Jaehee that would be amazing! I’ve been thinking that I needed to start working. Saeyoung is paying for the majority of my rent right now since the currencies between universes aren’t the same. I don’t want him paying it forever you know!” 

“That sounds like Saeyoung. He’s changed a lot thanks to you. We all have. I would be honored to have you work here. We can talk more about it later.” Once we were done making the drinks, we went to the table everyone sat at and handed out the drinks. I took a seat in between Saeran and Saeyoung. Yoosung was next to Saeyoung, with Zen across from him and then Jaehee and Jumin. Conversation flowed easily between most of them. I felt really out of place. I didn’t know when to speak or what to say. I started to get wrapped up into my thoughts, getting a bit overstimulated from meeting everyone all at once. I’m being too awkward. They’re going to think I’m weird. They won’t want to be friends with me. Just say something, anything. Maybe this was a bad idea, this is a lot. I hadn’t noticed that I was looking down in my lap, until I noticed a hand make it’s way over mine. I looked up, surprised to see that it was Saeran’s. He smiled. 

“It was hard and awkward for me at first too. Don’t think too much about it, they’re all nice. Do you need to get some air or anything?” he asked quietly, so that I would be the only one to hear him. 

“Thanks, but I think I’m fine. I’m just overwhelmed you know?” I answered softly.

“Yeah. It took me a long time to be comfortable around this many people, but you got this.” 

“Thanks.” Saeran moved his hand back into his lap, probably not wanting to make anything awkward. I felt better after our short conversation, like I wasn’t really alone. Someone else at least knew what it was like. My confidence rose and I began to talk more with the members. I became more of myself. It was nerve wracking, but I did it. I grew more comfortable as time went on. Soon we were all laughing and arguing. 

“No. You are not going to bring that animal anywhere near me!” Zen yelled. 

“Elizabeth the 3rd is not just an animal,” Jumin argued. 

“Yeah! Elly is too cute to be called an animal, and (Y/N) wants to meet her so Jumin should bring her!” Saeyoung jumped in. I laughed. 

“Well can’t she just go over to Jumin’s and meet her herself? Wait no. Nevermind don’t ever go there alone (Y/N),” Zen made his point. 

“You really think Jumin would try anything?” I retorted. 

“Unlike you, I am civilized,” Jumin stated. 

“Nope. All men are beats.” Everyone laughed at that. Eventually the conversation made its way to RFA parties. 

“What are we doing about them? Do you think we could have them outside of the game? Or would it be too hard?” Yoosung asked. 

“I think we could.” Jaehee stated. 

“Yeah, if everyone does the same thing we did before, it should be fine. My funds aren’t what they were, but it should still be feasible to hold a party,” Jumin added. 

“Wouldn’t it be a lot more work for (Y/N) though? They’re still adjusting too,” Saeyoung asked, concerned. I thought about it for a moment. 

“I think I can handle it if it’s not too soon. I might be a lot worse at it than what you want, but I can try!” I answered. So we all agreed to try having a fundraising party. We talked for a long time. We didn’t notice that we’d spent all afternoon at Jaehee’s shop. Jumin suggested that we all go out for dinner and drinks, which we all accepted. We all headed over to the restaurant. I rode with Saeyoung and Saeran again, the ride was mostly silent, until Saeyoung broke it. “Are you sure you’re okay (Y/N)? We don’t have to go to dinner.” I smiled.

“I think I’m good, thank you though. It was a little overwhelming at first, but I feel a lot more comfortable now. I thought I’d feel more anxious than I do. It’s kinda weird actually,” I laughed.

“Well I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. I know everyone was really excited to meet you, but we all wanted to make sure we didn’t push you too much.”

“Mmm, for once in my life, I’m actually having fun. I don’t think I’ve had this much fun with anyone in a really long time, maybe ever honestly.” 

“Well, let’s hope the fun doesn’t stop here.” 

“Gross” Saeran interrupted. 

“I didn’t mean it like that! Get your mind out of the gutter geez!” Saeyoung retorted. I laughed at them. We all arrived at the restaurant and ate, continuing our conversations. Then we had the great idea to start drinking, maybe a bit too much. Saeyoung and Saeran both refused to drink for their reasons, but some of us were the opposite. I’m going to be honest, I’ve never drank so much in my life. I have no idea why I just kept drinking, but I did. Yoosung was just as bad. The two of us together was a bad idea, we were so loud. Jumin, Jaehee, and Zen were adults and drank a normal amount. “Shh!” Saeyoung chided Yoosung and I. The two of us broke out into laughter. I turned to Yoosung and whispered in his ear. “We, me and you, should ignore Saeyoung completely and just have fun. Who does he think he is? My mom? Nope nope nope.” Yoosung started laughing and I joined in. Then we both thought singing sounded like a lot of fun, so we sang our hearts out. “Alright, I think these two have had more than enough to drink. I’m going to take them home, before we all get kicked out,” Saeyoung had told the others. Saeran agreed. “While I’m at it I’m calling you three cabs.” 

“Thank you Saeyoung,” Jaehee told him. 

“Well I don’t wanna go!” I yelled at him, then pouted. 

“Me either!” Yoosung agreed. 

“Too bad, come on. Saeran can you grab one?” Saeyoung got a hold of Yoosung and started dragging him to the car, apologizing to the people around them on the way out. 

“Don’t listen to him Yoosung! Don’t give in!” I yelled, pushing Saeran away from me. 

“(Y/N) come on we need to go,” Saeran tried. I shook my head. “What if I make Saeyoung stop and get us all ice cream?” he tried. I thought about it. Ice cream did sound good…. “Promise?” I asked. He nodded. I agreed to go with him and stood up, or tried to. Saeran caught me and helped me walk out, saying goodbye to the other three, who wished them good luck handling myself and Yoosung. 

I got into the back seat with Yoosung and smiled. “Guess what?” I giggled. 

“What?” he asked. I took both of his hands in mine and smiled. 

“Saeran said he would make Saeyoung get us ice cream!” I yelled. Yoosung’s eyes grew wide. 

“Really? Saeyoung really?! We get ice cream now? Ooh I really want some! Please?” he whined. I joined in, the both of us whining for ice cream. Saeyoung turned and glared at Saeran. Saeran smiled and shrugged. “She wouldn’t come,” he defended himself. Saeyoung sighed. “Fine.” 

“YES!” Yoosung and I screamed in unison. Saeyoung started the car and started driving to a nearby shop. I stared at Yoosung. More specifically his hair. “Let me braid your hair Yoosungiee!” I whined. 

“Only if it’s done really well (Y/N), I can’t look like Saeyoung did it!” he protested. I laughed. 

“Can Saeyoung not braid hair?” I giggled. Yoosung shook his head. 

“No. He tried braiding his hair and mine and it looked like a two year old did it!” 

“HAHAH Saeyoung can’t braid hair!” I yelled. The two of us laughed. Then Yoosung moved so I could braid his hair. I took a section and divided it into three, before beginning to braid. “Your hair is so soft!” I murmured. “What do you use? Tell me tell me tell me!” I begged. 

“I don’t even know (Y/N)! I just get what’s cheap!” 

“No way! That’s not fair! Why isn’t mine that soft then?” I pouted. He shrugged. I sighed and finished the braid. “Done!” I yelled. 

“I wanna see!” I took out my phone and took a blurry picture of the braid and showed Yoosung. 

“Ooh so much better than Saeyoung! My turn! I wanna try!” I giggled and moved so he could braid my hair. Before he could finish, Saeyoung pulled into a drive through. 

“What kind do you two want?” he asked. 

“Mmmm, strawberry like your hair Saeyoung!” I yelled. 

“I want chocolate!” Yoosung yelled. 

“Got it, now please be quiet so I can order,” Saeyoung begged. I giggled and looked at Yoosung. Time to sing. The two of us broke out into song again. Well half singing, there were a lot of laughs and giggles in the song. Saeyoung sighed and ordered. The poor worker barely got the order and brought it out. “Thank you, sorry about them,” Saeyoung told the worker. She smiled and took us to have a good night. “You too! You're doing God’s work, miss!” I yelled to her. Yoosung and I began to quietly eat our ice cream, until I noticed Yoosung crying. I gasped. “Oh no! Yoosung what’s wrong? Is your ice cream not good? Do you wanna trade?” I asked. He shook his head. 

“No it’s just,” he sighed. “I should have done more to help her!” Yoosung went on to talk about Rika and how he felt he should have been a better cousin to her. By the end of his rant, both of us were sobbing. I told him all about how I always wanted someone like him and the RFA in my life and that I know he was good to Rika. The two of us were hugging each other and sobbing, meanwhile Saeyoung and Saeran were trying to decide what to do with us. “I don’t know if we should just leave these two alone,” Saeyoung stated. 

“Then let’s just bring them to the bunker, there’s enough space,” Saeran offered. 

“Would that be too much?” 

“No, look at them.” They both looked back to see us sobbing in each other's arms. “I don’t think we could trust them to just go to bed if we brought them to their apartments.” Saeyoung nodded. 

“Bunker it is then.” The rest of the drive was filled with Yoosung and I’s sobbs and words of comfort, or how we felt, I don’t remember. When we arrived at the bunker, Saeyoung and Saeran worked together to get us inside. Saeran brought Yoosung to a guest room to attempt to get him to go to sleep, while Saeyoung guided me to a room. I whined to Saeyoung that I didn’t want to be separated from Yoosung. “He’ll be fine (Y/N), he’s with Saeran. Now let’s get you ready for bed.” I frowned. Saeyoung went and grabbed one of his shirts for me to wear. He came back and handed it to me. “Go change?” he asked. I shook my head. 

“Make me,” I challenged. 

“I’m not going to make you change (Y/N), just please go.”

“What if I want help?” 

“I’m not helping, that wouldn’t be appropriate. There’s a bathroom next door you can use.” 

“Nooo, I don’t want to go alone.”  

“I can wait next to the door?” he offered. I thought about it and sighed before agreeing. I went into the bathroom and changed. I came out of the bathroom, dressed just in his shirt and underwear. Saeyoung blushed and looked away. 

“Ta-da!” I yelled and spun around. 

“Thank you, now get in bed please,” he asked. I frowned again. 

“I don’t wanna sleep, I’m not tired.” 

“Yes, but believe me if you don’t go to sleep now you’re going to feel a lot worse in the morning.” 

“You’re bossy,” I told him. He smiled. 

“I only want you safe and healthy.” 

“Yeah yeah whatever,” I waved him off and got into the bed, pulling the sheet over me. 

“Goodnight (Y/N),” Saeyoung said before turning off the lights. 

“Goodnight,” I replied, but I knew I was not about to go to sleep. I would pretend to sleep until Saeyoung went to sleep, then I’d have my way. Saeyoung and Saeran met up and confirmed that both Yoosung and myself had gone to sleep, so the two parted ways and went to sleep. The two were exhausted from my and Yoosung’s antics, little did they know we weren’t done. I waited until I heard both rooms close before I got up. I peeked out of the guest bedroom I was in. Coast clear. I tiptoed my way to the other guest bedroom I assumed Yoosung was in. I opened the door and peeked my head in. “Pssssst, Yoosung?” I whispered.

“(Y/N)?” 

“Yeah!” I replied and walked in. I jumped onto the bed and flopped down next to him. “I don’t wanna sleep,” I told him. He sat up. 

“Me either. Let’s see if they have anything to do here,” Yoosung proposed. I nodded. We found our way into the living room. I quietly turned on a gaming console, making sure the volume was down, meanwhile Yoosung had found a bottle of wine. He came back and giggled. “(Y/N)! Look what I found! I thought these two didn’t drink but it looks like we’re not done!” We sat down on the couch to play some games, while passing the bottle back and forth to drink. We tried to keep quiet, which was quite easy because one round into the game we both got sleepy. I took another sip of the wine before rambling out my feelings to Yoosung. And I mean all of them, I don’t know why. I talked about my anxiety, how depressed I felt, how I was questioning my sexuality, even my feelings for a certain redhead. After my sleepy ramble, Yoosung told his about how school was slowly killing him and how he’s not over everything that happened with Rika. Both of us were crying once again, in each other’s arms. Eventually we cried all the tears we had and fell asleep on Saeyoung’s couch. The game console was still on, the half empty wine bottle on the table, and snuggled up in each other’s arms.

Saeyoung’s POV (A/N: hehe)

I went to bed exhausted. Who knew the combination of (Y/N) and Yoosung would be like that? I didn’t expect (Y/N) to be so much like Yoosung. Just as I was about to be fully asleep, I thought I heard a noise. I quickly sat up in my bed and listened. It almost sounded as if....oh no, please tell me those two are not in my living room. I sighed and got up. I opened my door and saw a dim light coming from my living room. Ugh, those two are going to regret not going to sleep. I don’t want to act like their parent, but my gosh these two are like children when they’re drunk. I peeked my head around the corner, and sure enough (Y/N) and Yoosung were up and on the couch. I watched for a moment, and then realized what was happening. Some sort of heart to heart was going on. (Y/N) was pouring out their soul. I knew I shouldn’t have listened and I should have just walked away, but I couldn’t. It hurt when they started to cry about her depression. It hurt more when they were afraid people wouldn’t accept them if they came out. I wanted to walk over and give them a hug, but Yoosung was there. I honestly was a little jealous. I wanted to be the shoulder they cries on. I froze when I heard them begin to talk about me. My mind yelled at me to not listen, this is all private, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t believe my ears, they really like me like that? Yoosung then began sharing his feelings. I didn’t know he was struggling with all of that. I sat and listened to them cry for a while, felling complicated. I shouldn’t be jealous, (Y/N) even said that they have feelings for me, but their hurt and crying to Yoosung. I noticed that there was no longer any noise coming from the living room. I looked and saw the two of them wrapped in each other’s arms asleep. It hurt a bit. I hate myself for feeling this way, we’re all just friends. (Y/N) and I are just friends. I walked in and decided to get over myself. I grabbed a blanket and put it over the two. I found the wine I was saving for something special half empty. I sighed, but put the lid back on and brought it to the kitchen. I walked back and turned off the game console. Before walking back to my room, I looked over at (Y/N) in Yoosungs arms. I wish I were him, but at least they’re finding comfort in someone. While I’d love for them to be with me, as long as (Y/N) is happy, I can be happy. 

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 8

After they left I sat on my new couch and took in my surroundings. Everything is new...and I mean literally EVERYTHING. I tried not to overwhelm myself. Step one is done, I’m moved in and settled, now I should do the other...it’s not too late is it? What do I even send? What if they don’t like me? I pulled out the phone Saeyoung had given me. I smiled when I looked and realized he had changed the phone’s background to a selfie. I don’t know when or how, but apparently he had taken it and done this. Not gonna lie, the photo was cute, but he always is. I know that I’m not ready for a relationship right now though. I’m incredibly thankful for Saeyoung giving me this opportunity. I’m thankful he cares. He does care right? He’s not just doing this because he feels like he has too? Does he really even like me? I’m different from the ‘MC’ he met in the game, just like he’s different...does he care about that? What if he changed his mind and now just feels like he’s stuck? Why would he like me? I’m average. I have no friends. I’m just extra baggage. I can’t completely pay the rent here, I have no job here, no degree, it's all just baggage I’ve thrown onto him...even my feelings are baggage. People say they would want to know how a friend truly cares, until that friend tells them about their anxiety or depression. Once they hear that they’ll tell you to just ‘get over it’, but that’s just not possible. It’s the same with sexualities. People say they love and accept everyone, until you tell them that you’re not straight and then they say they’re going to have to ‘get used to it’ or some other stupid crap. That’s why I can’t tell anyone. I’ll just keep the tears and feelings away for as long as I can, then explode on my own. That’s how it’s always been and that’s what will continue to happen. The phone buzzed in my hands, bringing me out of my thoughts. I had opened up the RFA app, and noticed that almost everyone was in the chatroom. I decided now was the time to start getting to know everyone and went into the chatroom.

Zen: Jumin no.

Jumin: Jumin yes

Jaehee: -__-

Zen: that’s not how it works

Jumin: well why not, that’s how it should work

I hesitated before letting them know I was there. I don’t want to interrupt whatever is happening right now, but I also want to talk to them. Oh well here goes nothing.

(Y/N): hi everyone :)

Zen: (Y/N)!

Jaehee: hi (Y/N), glad you could join us

Jumin: hi

Zen: How's everything going?

(Y/N): it’s going well, I think. Saeyoung and Saeran just left so I’m all settled in my apartment now, but it’s a little weird being here.

Zen: well no one would blame you for that

Jaehee: we all went through a similar thing. All of us here took a while to adjust to being in a reality

(Y/N): you’re right! I never thought of it that way, but you all basically went to a new universe as well lol

Jumin: we're here to help

Zen: yep! So if there’s anything you ever need, we will be there!

Jaehee: I also agree

(Y/N): so, if you don’t mind me asking, what is everyone up to now that you’re free?

Zen: I’ve started acting again. I pretty much had to start over, but I’m gaining a following now here

Jaehee: I’m very proud and amazed at how quickly his following has grown

Zen: well, a lot of it is because of your support Jaehee!

Jaehee: I’d do anything to support a friend

Jaehee: I run my own coffee shop now, thanks to your encouragement in the game. It's nice to be your own boss

(Y/N): Zen I hope I’ll be able to see you in a show one day! And Jaehee I’m so glad! But Jumin, what about you? Saeyoung didn’t really tell me anything about you...does C&R even exist?

Jumin: well…

Jumin: to keep it short, no, C&R doesn’t exist here

(Y/N): I’m sorry

Jumin: It’s fine, it’s allowed me to really think about what my passions are

Jumin: So I started from the bottom working under people, once I had enough I opened up a new business for cat food and products. It’s going well

(Y/N): that sounds like a perfect match for you! I hope it continues to go well….was our cute little Elly able to come too?

Zen: I’m going to sneeze

Jumin: thankfully yes. Saeyoung managed to find a way

(Y/N): ooooh I want to see her!!

(Y/N): please :D

Jumin: I trust you more than Saeyoung, so yes I’ll allow it

(Y/N): yay!!

(Y/N): and while we’re talking about meeting...I’d really like to see everyone in person...I know it may seem weird, but I feel like I’m already kinda close to you all…

Jaehee: yes! We all agree we would love to meet you in person, we just didn’t want to overwhelm you, we will set up a day and time as soon as you’re ready

(Y/N): I think I’m as ready as I’ll ever be haha

Jaehee: well, to start we could meet at my coffee shop?

*Yoosung* and Twin2 has entered the chat

Yoosung*: sorry guys I just got out of class what’s happening?

Yoosung*: omg (Y/N) hiii!!

Yoosung*: oh sorry, I totally interrupted Jahee. I think that’s a good idea!

Jumin: I can make it work

Zen: I’ll have to check my rehearsal schedule, but it should be fine

(Y/N): ok how about on sunday? Just a few days from now…

Zen: someone’s excited

(Y/N): :D

Zen: works for me

Jaehee: me as well, I can close the shop for a day

Jumin: I as well

Yoosung*: I’m free….I just won’t study haha

Twin2: saeyoung and I can make it work

Twin2: wait who the hell changed my name

(Y/N):....

Yoosung*:...

Twin2: saeyoung is running ill be back after i take care of him

*Twin2 has left the chat

(Y/N): LOLOL

(Y/N): I see those two get along well...but if that works for everyone then I’m glad! But Yoosung you should study, how much more school do you have left?

Yoosung*: T_T

Yoosung*: too much

(Y/N): aww I’m sorry, I know how hard university is! I need to decide if I’m going to go here or what T_T

Yoosung*: good luck T_T

(Y/N): you too T_T

After that we all got to know each other more. Everyone is pretty much the same as they were in their endings. I’m excited to meet them all. I’m going to spend the next few days settling in and learning about this new universe, then Sunday I’ll get to meet everyone. I hope they all like me. I hadn’t realized how long I had spent talking with them. I decided it would be best to get some rest, I’m still adjusting. I got ready for bed and got on my phone. Normally, I would scroll through social media, but I don’t have any here and I don’t know what social media they use...or who I’d even follow. Just as I was putting my phone on the table next to my bed, it vibrated. I tapped the notification, it was a text from Saeyoung.

God707: Have a good night (Y/N)! Don’t hesitate to call me!

I smiled. I didn’t know how to answer, so I didn’t. I decided to get to sleep thinking that maybe, just maybe, someone actually cared about me.

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 7

I woke up feeling a lot better. I got up and found my way to a bathroom to get ready. More new things today. I only want to worry about two things. Number one, moving in. Number two, chat with the RFA. After I was showered and dressed, I made my way to the kitchen. It didn’t look like anyone was up yet, so I decided to start making breakfast for everyone. Well, I was, that is, until I opened up Saeyoung’s fridge. He and Saeran apparently don’t cook. It was full of Phd Pepper, and random things like cheese, milk, jelly, and just stuff you couldn’t make a meal with. I frowned. How are these two even alive? After digging through the fridge I found some eggs, and settled on just cooking them. I began to stand back up, after crouching to find the eggs, to shut the fridge. My eyes met with two others and I jumped back and fell, hitting my head on the fridge’s handle on the way back down. “Ow” I sighed. I looked up to see a worried looking Saeran. “Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” he stated then held out his hand to help me up. I took it. “You’re fine!” I replied. 

“So, uh, what are you doing?” he asked. 

“Well I was going to make breakfast, but you all don’t seem to have much. I did find some eggs though and I was going to cook them,” I answered. Saeran smiled at me, looking relieved. 

“Oh, sorry about that. I was going to make Saeyoung take me today to pick up ingredients since I ran out. I do the cooking for the most part. Saeyoung is a mess in the kitchen.” 

“Oh thank God. I was worried for a minute. I figured Saeyoung couldn’t cook due to the half cooked pancakes he made me, but I’m glad someone here is.” Saeran reached and grabbed the few eggs I was going to cook. 

“If it’s okay with you we can just order some food. I’ll be stopping off at the grocery store at some point when we’re moving you.” I smiled and nodded. I hope I’m not being too awkward. Ugh. Wait...what if instead of ordering we… I began to grin at the idea I just had. Saeran seemed to notice. “(Y/N) is everything okay?” he asked. 

“More than okay. What if instead of ordering food we, well, you know, go pick some up?” I trailed off. 

“Pick them up? How would we do that?” 

“Well, I know Saeyoung has cars, he always showed them off. It’s not like I’ve never driven before and the driving laws here can’t be that different…” 

“That sounds like something Saeyoung would flip out over,” he paused and smiled. “Let’s do it. I’m totally in!” I smiled back. Hehe I can finally drive a cool car! The two of us quickly and quietly made our way to the garage. We decided on which car we were going to take and grabbed the keys. I made my way into the driver's seat and smiled. It was so cool. I looked over at Saeran and beamed. 

“You ready to go?” I asked. He laughed and shook his head. 

“You’re crazier than him, but yes.” With that, I started the car. It sounds so cool. I was so excited. I started off driving slower than what I wanted, but I wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t crash and kill both of us. Once I was more comfortable, I was zooming. It felt amazing, it was exciting. The drive was mostly silent, but still comfortable. Saeran led me first to a grocery store. We got out and shopped together, making some small talk. After that we went to a cafe and picked up some breakfast to bring home. Saeran had the brilliant idea of bringing Saeyoung his favorite doughnut, as an apology for stealing his car. We were gone for around an hour and made it back safely…..or so I wish. I guess I had gotten a little too carried away and sped a bit too much as we were pulled over. As soon as I saw the lights I looked over at Saeran in horror. I’m not from this universe so it’s not like my licence is going to be valid, not to mention if he recognizes Saeran for any reason that could be really bad. I’m sure police are some the two tend to avoid. Both Saeyoung and Saeran had a complicated background and literally hacked into things for money. Saeran looked at me, slight worry in his eye. 

“Well, this sucks. When you pull over, switch me spots quickly and as discreetly as you can, then follow my lead,” he told me. I nodded and pulled over. As soon as I pulled over, we both unbuckled and switched spots, thankfully the policeman didn’t notice. I buckled back up, barely, I noticed my hands had begun to shake so it was difficult to buckle. I knew I shouldn’t have done this. This is what happens when you try to have fun (Y/N). Now you’ve made a big scene, not to mention having to tell Saeyoung when we get back. Ugh he’s going to be so mad at me!! Saeran rolled down the window and smiled. 

“License and registration,” the policeman stated. I don’t know how he got it, but Saeran pulled out a license, and reached over for the registration stuff and gave it to them. Once the policeman was out of eyesight and earshot, Saeran whispered to me. “In the glove compartment there is a heavy laptop, could you grab it for me?” Confused, I grabbed it and handed it to him. “Keep watch,” he stated. I watched as he opened it up and pulled up a database. Of course. He’s hacking our way out of this. Smart. But also could go wrong very fast. “S-Saeran,” I paused. “Are you sure that’s a good idea.” He nodded. I decided to trust him and keep an eye out to make sure the policeman wasn’t coming back. After only a few minutes, Saeran shut the laptop and handed it back to me to put back in the glove compartment. He smiled. “There. We should be good now.” We sat in silence waiting for the policeman to return. I was super anxious at this point, thinking of all the things that could go wrong and how Saeyoung would react. Eventually the policeman came back. 

“Mr. Choi?” they asked. 

“Yes?” Saeran answered. Did he really use his real name? Is that okay?

“Looks like everything is up to date, but do you know how fast you were going?” 

“Ah, I’m so sorry. My wife and I here were just trying to get home for our child's first birthday, we left him with the sitter to pick up some things for it. I honestly don’t know how fast I was going. I’m a bit excited I guess.” Saeran laughed hesitantly. 

“Well, you were getting close to 100mph,” the policeman paused. “I understand the excitement, but please watch you speed from here on. I’m sure your child would like for you to make it home.” 

“Yes. I am so sorry. Thank you.” The policeman nodded and drove away. Saeran turn to look at me. I shrunk down in my seat. 

“O-one hundred miles per hour (Y/N)? What the hell?!” 

“Sorry, I guess I got a little carried away,” I mumbled. 

“Well, please slow down from now on.” I nodded. We switched spots again. I started driving, feeling the pit in my stomach growing. I felt really bad. We made it back to the bunker and found Saeyoung waiting inside the garage. Saeran got out of the car first. I took a deep breath and tried to act like nothing happened. It didn’t work. 

“Saeran, what did I tell you about taking my cars without me! You’re such a bad driver my baby could have gotten hurt!” I heard Saeyoung whine to Saeran. Saeran tried not to smile. 

“I didn’t drive, but you should be worried about (Y/N)’s driving abilities,” he laughed. I looked down. 

“What are you talking about? (Y/N) are you okay? What happened?” I sighed, and continued to look at the floor. 

“Well, I, uh, kinda got a little excited to be driving such a cool car that I guess I was speeding a bit too much, and we, uh, we got pulled over…” I looked up and saw Saeyoung’s eyes grow wide, before softening. Then he started laughing. Not just a small laugh either, like full blown doubled over laughing. Saeran joined in making me even more confused. Why isn’t he mad? Once he finally calmed down he spoke. “Wow (Y/N), I would not have expected that!” 

“What?” I asked. 

“Oh wow, phew. I can’t tell you how many times Saeran and myself have been pulled over for speeding. How fast were you going? How did you get out of it? Or did my little bro fail you and you didn’t get away with a warning?” I was stunned. Saeran spoke for me. 

“Police said they were going over one hundred miles. And for your information, I got out of it very easily pulling a few hacking strings and lying a bit.” 

“Oh ho ho, nice!” Saeyoung held out his hand and fist bumped Saeran. What is happening? He’s seriously okay with all of this? “Tell me (Y/N), how fast were you going? Pleasssseee tell me I have to know!” I relaxed a bit. He really doesn’t care. Might as well be honest. 

“125,” I mumbled. His jaw dropped. 

“Did you just say 125 miles per hour (Y/N)?” he asked. I nodded. He clapped his hands. “Ladies and gentlemen a new record!” I watched as he walked over to a whiteboard and changed the 98 into a 125, and then wrote my name next to it. 

“What is happening?” I asked. 

“Oh well, Saeran and I have an ongoing competition to see who can get away with speeding. I held the record. I was going 98 miles per hour and was pulled over, but got out of a ticket,” Saeyoung explained. 

“Shouldn’t my name be going up there with (Y/N)’s? It was a team effort,” Saeran challenged. 

“Is this true (Y/N)?” I nodded. Saeyoung sighed and wrote Saeran’s name next to mine. Saeran smiled. I was still confused and shocked. Then it hit me. 

“Hold on, you two go around speeding and getting caught, just for fun? Then why did Saeran act so surprised and tell me to not speed? ” I asked. They both turned and smiled. 

“Yep! We speed for fun and hope to get pulled over.” Saeyoung answered me.

“Sorry, I was surprised at first. Then I realized you completely demolished Saeyoung’s record, but I was pretty sure if you kept going that fast we’d get pulled over again and it would be much harder to get out of that a second time,” Saeran answered the other question. I stood in awe and shook my head. Here I was thinking Saeyoung would be upset. I began to laugh.

“You two are insane.” 

The three of us made our way inside to eat. We ate and then decided to get on with our day. We spent the majority of the day going from store to store buying furniture, after looking at the apartment and deciding on what I would need. It took the majority of the day, but there were many periods of laughter and we had fun. Around 7pm, I finally had a fully-furnished and comfortable apartment, thanks to the help of both Saeyoung and Saeran. I was nervous about staying alone, but I let the two leave for the night. Saeyoung was quick to remind me that he was just a phone call away, so if I needed him to just call and he’d be here. I don’t think anyone has ever told me that before. I smiled and waved goodbye, as their car pulled away from my new apartment. 

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 6

I woke up feeling anxious. Today I’d leave my life behind. What if this isn’t what I should do? What if my life just gets worse? Will Saeyoung really want to be with me? Does he really want me to go, or am I just going to be left behind eventually? What if everyone else doesn’t like me either? What if I’m still completely alone after this? I felt something moving next to me and I whipped my head around to see Saeyoung waking up. Oh yeah. I completely broke down again yesterday. Geez I’m a horrible person. I hope he’s not worried. “Is everything okay?” Saeyoung asked. 

“Mhm,” I replied. 

“No it’s not. I could feel your thoughts so loud it woke me up. What’s going on? Are you worried about leaving?” I bit my lip. I can’t burden him even more. I’m sure he’s nervous about it too. So much of his life has changed already. Going through all the Mint Eye stuff, Saeran, then breaking out of a game and coming here, I don’t need to add more on top of that. Only share enough to get him to stop. 

“Yeah, I’m a little nervous,” I finally told him. He smiled at me. 

“Don’t be. Everything will be fine. Is there anything you want to get done before we go?”

“I think I’m good. I can make us some breakfast and then shower and then we can go.” I got out of my bed to go do just that. I threw a cardigan on before heading out to my kitchen. The temperature in my apartment had apparently dropped last night and it was freezing. Once in the kitchen I started making pancakes. It was a big day, so why not start it with something I like. What am I going to do with all this food? I can’t take it and I can’t leave it to just rot...maybe I can stop off at a food bank and see if they’ll take it before we go. Ugh I’m so nervous. Everything is changing. It’s almost too much and too fast for me. I’m going to be in an entirely new universe. I’m not going to know anything. New town, new people, new life. I won’t be in school for a while. I’ll have to find a job. Maybe this is a bad idea. But I have no reason to keep living here. I’m not really leaving anything behind. But am I really leaving my life behind for a guy I’ve really only just met? Sure I know him through the game, but that doesn’t really mean I know him. What if he ends up completely different? What if the whole RFA is different? Their personalities could be completely different, they could hate me...what am I going to do if- 

“Hey are you good (Y/N)?” Saeyoung asked. I jumped, dropping the spoon I was using to mix the batter. I didn’t think he’d be up so quickly. 

“Yeah,” I answered, bending down to pick up the spoon I dropped.

“You’ve been mixing that batter for like three minutes…”

“Really?” I asked. 

“Yeah...really.”

“I guess I’m just a bit distracted. I'm fine.” 

“You sure? I know this is all a lot.” 

“Yeah,” I lied. Honestly this is all too much. I don’t know what I’m thinking. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m leaving everything I know behind. I felt my heartbeat start to quicken. My hands sweat and I struggled to breath. Get over it. You’re fine (Y/N). You don’t have time for this. I tried to ignore the oncoming panic attack and continued to try to make the pancakes. I was shaking and dropped the pan instead of placing it on the stove. Saeyoung was quick to catch it and place it on the stove. I kept my head down and focused on my breathing. In and out. In and out. I could feel Saeyoung watching me in worry. Stop. You’re fine. You can’t make him worry. I went to grab the batter, but I was stopped by Saeyoung. He got to the batter before me. I looked up confused. He smiled. It calmed me down, just slightly. 

“I’ll finish this. I know you’re going through a lot. Just go try to relax,” he urged me. 

“Saeyoung I’m fine,” I argued. 

“No (Y/N), you’re not. You’re literally shaking with nerves. I’ll give you two options. Let me take over here, or we both sit down and you tell me what’s going on.” 

“I’m fine. This happens all the time, it’s nothing. I’m doing great, just let me make them.”

“I won’t let you.” I reached for the bowl and Saeyoung lifted it above his head so I couldn’t reach it. I frowned at him. Way to go (Y/N), now you’ve made him worry over nothing. I decided to give up and left the kitchen. I went and sat on my bed. My breathing had returned to normal, but I was still sweating and shaking. Why do you always do this? Why can’t you just be normal and be excited about new things? I put my earbuds in, once again, and listened to music. I closed my eyes and focused on it. I don’t want to think. I made Saeyoung worry about nothing and now he feels like he has to do this. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder, gently shaking me. I slowly opened my eyes, not realizing that I had fallen back to sleep. Saeyoung smiled at me. 

“Pancakes are done!” I just nodded my head. Saeyoung turned around and headed back for my kitchen. I took a deep breath and followed. I smiled as I noticed he had burnt half the pancakes. I laughed. 

“What?” Saeyoung asked. 

“I didn’t know someone could be so bad at cooking pancakes. You should have just let me finish them!” He frowned. 

“Well, just enough for both of us turned out fine, so who cares!” I laughed and sat down to eat. Saeyoung and I made small conversation, not talking about what happened earlier, which I was thankful for. After we were done, we washed the dishes and set them in the cupboards they belong in. 

“Oh uh, before we go I’m going to see if a food bank or someone will take my food so it won’t be wasted,” I told Saeyoung. 

“That’s a good idea! When do you want to go?” I thought for a moment. Better to just get it over with. 

“Now.” Saeyoung looked at me in surprise. 

“You sure?” 

“Yes.” With that we grabbed all of my few things. Thankfully it all fit into a few suitcases and a box, so we could take the bus to wherever the machine was. We got on the bus and headed to the closest food bank. I gave them the food and they thanked me and assured me that it would go to someone in need. We got back onto the bus and were on it for what felt like forever.

“How far away is this?” I asked Saeyoung. 

“Just two more stops and a short walk. I wanted to make sure it wouldn’t be found by anyone. If someone stumbled upon it they probably would freak out,” he answered. I nodded and we spent the rest of the bus ride in silence. Almost there. Almost to a whole new world. Haha just like Ariel, but Ariel was more normal than me. She had friends that supported her, I don’t. The bus stopped and Saeyoung got up. I followed behind him. We ended up at a small apartment building. He led me to an apartment. I could tell it was his because of the extra security on it. After a minute of him just unlocking the door, we went in. I don’t know what I was expecting the portal to look like, but it wasn’t this. My jaw dropped. The apartment had nothing in it but the machine. It was round and glowed. It was made of a lot of different metals, it was quite beautiful. It glowed a blue-ish green-ish color, but the center of it was just black. The machine made a very soft humming sound, one that people would pass off as a dishwasher. I looked over at Saeyoung. He moved to a computer looking object that was connected to the machine and began typing away. I sat silently next to him and watched. Slightly afraid that if I spoke or distracted him, he’d act like he did in his route and yell at me. After about ten minutes he looked up and smiled. 

“Alright. Everything is ready to go, are you?” he asked. 

“I think so,” I quietly replied, still nervous about it all. 

“You don’t need to worry, I’ll help you in any way I can so you can adjust. If you don’t want to be alone the first day, or even week, I’ll stay with you. The other RFA members are excited to meet you for real, but they all agreed to wait until you felt ready.” 

“Okay,” I took a deep breath in. “Let’s go.” Saeyoung reached out his hand to me, which I gratefully accepted. Together we walked through the portal. The portal to his universe, to my new life. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My head was pounding when I gained consciousness. I slowly opened my eyes, trying to adjust to the light. That was weirder than I expected. I don’t remember anything after walking through the portal. Where’s Saeyoung? How long has it been? More importantly, where am I? I heard a voice speaking, muffled a bit. It was slightly unfamiliar. I fully opened my eyes and saw someone that wasn’t Saeyoung, but looked a lot like him. I was confused and then I realized who it must be. 

“S-Saeran?” I asked, my voice sounding hoarse. My hearing was starting to work again. 

“Saeyoung! She’s up!” I could hear him yell. He smiled slightly at me. “He’ll be here soon. How do you feel?” 

“Like shit,” I replied. He nodded. Soon after I saw Saeyoung come running over to me. I tried to sit up from where I was, but gave up and laid back down. 

“Hey how are you doing?” Saeyoung asked. 

“She said like shit,” Saeran answered for me and I smiled and nodded. “I’ll go get some painkillers.” I watched Saeran get up and leave, disappearing from my sight. 

“Sorry I should have warned you about what it’s like,” Saeyoung began. 

“You knew I’d feel like this and you didn’t tell me?” I questioned.

“Yeah...sorry…” I shook my head. 

“It’s fine. Where am I? How long was I out?”

“The machine is in my basement, so you’re here in my bunker. You blacked out once we went through. Saeran helped carry you up here. You’ve been out for half a day,” he answered. 

“H-half a day?!” I asked. It definitely didn’t feel that long. 

“Yeah,” he laughed. Just then I noticed Saeran had come back. I tried to sit up and Saeyoung helped me. Saeran passed me some pills and water, which I quickly took. 

“Thanks,” I told him. He smiled a bit back at me, before sitting down in a chair next to the couch I was on. My eyes were finally adjusted to the light and I took in my unfamiliar surroundings. It was definitely Saeyoung’s bunker. I’m here. This is a new universe. Everything feels off, but also right.  

“Are you hungry? We ordered some takeout.” Saeyoung asked. I nodded. Saeyoung got up to go get it for me. 

“Is it really you?” I heard Saeran ask. 

“I think I should be asking you that, but yes I’m really (Y/N),” I answered. 

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” 

“Everything I guess. I know it wasn’t really you who I tried to kidnap and stuff, but it kinda was and I feel bad about it. And thank you for helping Saeyoung.” I smiled. 

“You don’t need to apologize, but I’ll accept your apology if it makes you feel better. I know what you did was mostly because of Rika and stuff. And I guess I’m also sorry.” 

“What?”

“I totally bit your arm that day! Or well the CPU did, ugh I don’t know either way though I bit your arm and I’m sorry!” Saeran chuckled.

“Thanks,” he softly replied. Saeyoung came back with the food and I quickly dug in. I don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything so good in my life. 

“Woah, someone’s hungry,” Saeyoung stated. I glared. 

“Well you said it’s been half a day. I’m starving. This is really good.” 

“Yes it is. I was disappointed to find that your universe did not have a Ren and Ran’s.” 

“I’m disappointed now too,” I replied before stuffing more into my face. The air and feeling in the room had begun to grow a bit awkward. This was the first time I’ve met Saeran, and I’ve never been here so it was to be expected. After I finished, I spoke up. 

“So what now?” I asked. 

“Well whatever you want now. I can bring you to your new apartment and help you get settled, but I’m not sure we can get everything done before stores close. Or,” he paused. “Well here, hang on.” Saeyoung got up and went to another room, before returning. He handed me a cell phone. “Here. You’ll need this. The RFA app is on there if you want to start meeting everyone and stuff. I’ve also put in my and Saeran’s number in there in case you need anything.” I smiled. 

“Awesome. Thank you. If it’s not too much for you, could we wait until tomorrow to move me in?” I asked. 

“Of course! I can go set up the guest bedroom!” Saeyoung got up to leave, but Saeran stopped him. 

“I’ll do it, you stay here.” Saeran stated, and then got up and left. I smiled to myself.

“I can’t believe this is happening.” 

“Me either,” Saeyoung replied. “Well why don’t I show you around?” I agreed and stood up. I was feeling mostly normal at this point. Saeyoung brought me around the bunker showing me all the rooms and where everything was. I smiled as he did. I could tell he was trying to hold in his excitement. After the tour, the three of us decided to take it easy and watch a movie. I had never seen the movie, obviously because it’s from this universe instead, but it was good. We were going to watch a second, but my head had started to pound so I excused myself for the night. I said goodnight and then found my way to the room I was staying in. I can’t believe all of this. I’m nervous about talking to the RFA. I’ll wait until tomorrow after I’m settled. I have to meet new people. I hope I won’t disappoint them. I only had pre-made options to communicate with them, and some of the ones I used I wouldn’t actually ever say. I hope it works out. Maybe I’ll actually have friends for the first time in my life. For the first time I feel lighter. I don’t feel as empty. I hope that feeling stays. I began to grow really sleepy, so I changed into some pajamas and headed to sleep for the night, hoping all would be good in the morning.

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 5

(A/N): Just a warning that there are spoilers for the route endings in the game, so if you don’t want them spoiled read with caution!

Once we got back to my apartment, we sat on the couch. Saeyoung turned to look at me. I waited for him to start, ready to learn about how all of this is even happening. “I don’t know where to even start with all of this,” he began. 

“Just start from the beginning. I’m not going anywhere,” I replied. 

“Ok,” he breathed in. “Well I guess it all started with me realizing that my life was repeating. I kept having deja vu I guess. I felt like everything that was happening had happened before. I started to log my days in detail with what happened. Turns out I was right. I woke up, and went about my day and when I went to log what happened I found a log with my exact day on it. From there I tried to figure out why. A few weeks later I discovered I was in a game. I questioned my own existence. Is my life really real? Or am I just living a program? I still don’t really know the answer. I went through the same life day after day. No one really seemed to know either, but now I think I know that Zen was also suspicious. Then you came along. I wanted to make my feelings known. I wanted to meet you. So I figured out how to get us out of a game. It took a long time. I was able to talk to the RFA freely way before you and I could, obviously. Once we all figured it out we decided we needed out. I worked endlessly to get us out and into a reality. Eventually, I figured it out. I wasn’t sure because everything felt the same, but nothing had repeated yet. So then I got to work on getting here while I waited to see if I had gotten us out of the game. Coming here would confirm that we were no longer just pixels on someone’s screen. I did a lot of research. I went through a lot of errors before I finally got here. I was able to use dark energy and a lot of complicated math to figure out a way. I got to work and built the machine I have now. I don’t think I can explain it all. I don’t doubt your intelligence, but it barely makes any sense to me…”

“Yeah I wouldn’t understand,” I laughed. “But I think I get enough. Basically, you figured out you were in a game, hacked your way out and then made some sort of portal to get here.” 

“More or less.”

“So what happened after you made the machine?” I asked.

“I went through the portal. Looking back, that was not the best thing I could have done. I mean if something went wrong I could have died. But it did, by some miracle, work. I found myself here. I had no idea where to look for you so I just started walking. I guess fate is what really brought us together.”

“No, I think it was my overwhelming urge to get ice cream that did,” I chuckled.

“That too,” he laughed. “So then we met. I honestly had no intentions of returning to my universe, or reality, whatever it is. I had told the RFA before I left, but I guess I’m sort of glad I didn’t just ditch them all. But that night my head started pounding. Then I literally saw parts of me disappearing. I wrote that note and then blacked out. When I woke up I was back in my bunker. As soon as I could I sent messages to the RFA about what had happened. I think we’re all trying to figure out what to do with our lives now. Then I worked on fixing the portal, and I think I’ve got it now.” 

“So,” I paused, not sure how to ask my question. “What exactly are we going to do? I don’t want to make you come to this universe and leave everything behind...I mean everything that happened in that game was still your life right?”

“Yeah. Everything with Mint Eye and Saeran did happen.”

“But he knows you’re here right?”

“Yeah, he knows…” I sensed him starting to become uncomfortable so I decided to change the subject.

“How about everyone else and their routes?” I asked. 

“Their routes?” he questioned. 

“Well in the game you were all in there were different routes. So like in Yoosung’s he became a vet, in Jaehee’s she quit her job. What’s happening with all of them?”

“Oh yeah. All the endings did happen, kind of. After we got out of the game we started living lifes. Yoosung has finished school, and is studying more to become a vet. Jaehee did stop working for Jumin and is running a coffee shop. Zen did have a falling out with Echo Girl, but is back on track and is actually in a lot of musicals and movies right now. Jumin, well, he’s still working, but is a better boss and person all around.”

“Woah. So about your route...there were those days you came to see, well me I guess, in the apartment, what was that for you?” I asked. 

“Hehe, well. It was like someone was there. It was weird. I don’t know how to explain it. I was in a game, so I guess who I saw was just a CPU or something being controlled by you.” I felt my heart drop a bit. He sounds almost disappointed. Well of course he is. I’m sure the CPU was attractive, and now he is seeing me. Just me. I’m just average at best. 

“Oh” I softly answered. 

“Did I say something wrong?” he asked. 

“What? No.” 

“Tell me please?” he asked. I sighed. 

“It’s stupid. It’s just, well, I’m sure the CPU or whatever you interacted with was probably more attractive...you almost sounded disappointed and I mean I would be to if I was expecting someone to look like the CPU, but instead I look like me,” I mumbled, not really wanting to tell him, but also not being able to come up with an excuse. I heard him start to laugh. I looked at him confused. 

“Sorry. I thought it was something more serious.”

“It is serious,” I stated. 

“(Y/N),” he took my hands into his. “You are way better than some CPU. You’re real. I like you for you, not because of your looks. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think you're the most beautiful person I’ve laid my eyes on, because you are. You are so incredibly good looking, but what’s even more unbelievable is how you act as a person.” 

“Yeah whatever,” I replied. I know I’m not good at taking compliments, but there’s no way that’s true. Saeyoung sighed and let go of my hands. 

“It’s true! But since we’re talking about serious things, we need to talk about what’s going to happen. I don’t think it would be safe to pop back and forth between realities. I have a bad feeling that something would go wrong. I hate to push this decision on you, but it really is up to you on what you want to do. I mean, I know we technically just met and I’d be asking you to leave everything and everyone behind, but-” My mind began to think, ignoring the rest of his apology. I already hate being here. I have no friends. I hate my life. Just a few days ago I thought about ending it. Is there really any reason for me to stay? Yes I’m in school, but I can drop out and start over in their universe. It can’t be that much worse. Sure we just technically met, but I know that I have feelings for Saeyoung and would do anything I could to make him happy. It’s a little crazy, but my life can’t get that much worse…

“I’ll go,” I stated, not realizing that he was still talking. 

“What?” he asked. I looked up into his eyes. 

“I said that I’ll go with you Saeyoung.”

“But what about your family and friends?” I scoffed and then laughed.

“I have no friends Saeyoung. I don’t even know why you like me. But we can find a way for me to communicate with my family right? Just like how I could message you through the app. It’s not like I see my family in person much anyway, and when I do need to I can use the portal. I know you said it shouldn’t be used often, but once a year or so won’t hurt.” 

“But you’re in school…” 

“So. I hate it anyway. I’ll drop out. I’ll tell my parents that I’m just going to drop out and start working somewhere. If I need to go to school in your universe then I will.” Saeyoung sat in thought for a moment. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

“Why not? I have no reason to stay alive here,” I replied seriously. 

“Don’t say that.” 

“What?” I asked, a bit taken back.

“Don’t say you have no reason to live. There’s always a reason.” 

“Oh” I shifted around a bit uncomfortable. I’m not wrong Saeyoung. I have no reasons to live. My life sucks. I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m depressed. I’m anxious. So why not go somewhere completely new. Actually that’s a bit scary. But it can’t be worse than how I am now.

We sat in silence for a few minutes in thought. I felt okay with my decision to leave this reality. But I could tell Saeyoung felt bad for asking me to leave my life. “I’ll get started on packing and then-” I stopped mid-sentence realizing I needed more details. “Wait. Where am I going to stay? Is the money currency the same? Oh my God, you all don’t speak a different language do you? How do we even get back?” Saeyoung interrupted me with a laugh. 

“(Y/N), calm down. Most everything is the same I think.”

“Oh,”  I replied a bit disappointed. 

“As for where you can stay it’s up to you. I have feelings for you, but I’m not going to rush anything. You can stay in my bunker, or we can get you a place.” I smirked at him. “What?” he questioned. 

“Did the Saeyoung Choi, Mr. ‘I can’t ever be with anyone because I’ll hurt them’, just admit his feelings for me?” I asked. “I mean what happened to you pushing me away on your route saying I was annoying? Now you’re saying you like me so casually?” Saeyoung looked down, hiding the blush that was creeping up onto his cheeks. 

“Well you played the route. You already know I have feelings for you. You’re the one that has helped me with all that,” he replied. “Can we just pack up now?” 

“Yeah,” I smiled at him. 

“Just bring the important stuff. We will need to keep this place here for you so no one gets suspicious.” 

“Right. I should drop out of school first,” I said excitedly. I’ve always wanted to just drop out. I’ve sure thought about it enough times, and now I finally am. I ran to grab my computer. I quickly emailed the school registration and figured out how to officially drop out. After a few minutes I was done. I looked up at Saeyoung and smiled harder than I had in months. “I am officially a college drop out,” I managed to get out before laughing in glee. 

“I’ve never seen someone so happy to drop out,” he laughed with me. 

“Alright, I’m going to go have a long phone call with my parents about me dropping out.” 

“I’ll go ahead and set up a way for you to message them,” Saeyoung replied. I went to go make the phone call. 

==============================================================

The phone call was quicker than I expected. Surprisingly, my parents took the news better than I thought. I walked back into my apartment to see Saeyoung hovering over his computer still. 

“Well, they took that better than I thought they would have,”  I told him. He looked up and smiled.

“I’m glad. Did you decide where you want to stay?” he asked, then added, “no hard feelings if it’s not my bunker.” I smiled. 

“I think I do want my own place. I don’t know if I can go through that many adjustments at once. I’d probably break down. I’m not good at any kind of relationships, plus I’m like, you know, moving to a whole new universe.” 

“I figured so. Come here I’ve got some options for you.” I walked over and sat down next to him. Saeyoung passed the laptop over onto my lap and I looked. My eyes went wide looking at the prices of rent. The apartments were also incredibly nice. 

“Woah Saeyoung these are a lot of money...not to mention so much nicer than this,” I moved my arms up and in circles. He looked at me confused. 

“How much does this place cost?” he asked. 

“Like 400$ a month. These are over 1,000$!” 

“Oh, weird. How much is a Ph D Pepper here?” 

“Well first off it’s called a Dr. Pepper here, but like two dollars,” I answered. 

“Hmmm, it appears our currencies are not exactly the same. These apartments aren’t that much, but I also want to make sure you’re staying somewhere safe. I can cover the costs.”

“I don’t want you to have to pay for it, it’s a lot!” I argued. 

“Too bad,” he said leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Fine,” I grumbled. I quickly decided on an apartment. Not the nicest, but not the worse either. “I’ll take this one, but at least let me pay you back what I can,” I told him. 

“Maybe,” he smiled at me. He’s not going to let me is he? I can’t burden him with this so I’ll find a way. I passed the laptop back to him. He was typing away. “Looks like you can move in tomorrow!” he said. I smiled. I’m starting over. 

“I’m going to go pack then,” I told him, before standing up and stretching. Saeyoung apparently thought it was the perfect moment to lean forward and tickle my sides. I immediately swatted at his hand laughing and trying to get him to stop. I eventually broke free and ran to my room before he could catch up. 

“HAHA. You can’t get me in here!” I yelled through my now locked door. 

“Sure I can!” Was all I heard him say before he suddenly was opening the door. My jaw dropped in horror. He held up a small pin that he had used to pick the lock. Saeyoung then smiled and lurched forwards, once again attacking me with his hands. I felt like I couldn’t breathe from laughing so hard. 

“S-stop! I-,” I took as big of a breath in as I could, “I can’t breath!” Saeyoung just laughed before he eventually decided to stop. I breathed heavily and caught my breath. I was so busy trying to breathe I hadn’t realized where we had ended up. I was laying on the floor, with Saeyoung hovering over me, pinning me down. Once I realized I looked away, trying to hide the blush that I knew was coming. My heart was pounding, from the tickle attack and the fact that Saeyoung was here, and pinning me down. Saeyoung seemed to catch on as he quickly stopped and got off. 

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled, now embarrassed. 

“It’s fine,” I mumbled back. I got up and decided to just move on and start packing some of my things into a box I had found. Soon after, Saeyoung began to help, asking what all I wanted to bring. After packing everything up, we laid sprawled out on my floor, exhausted from moving things. 

“Are you sure about this?” Saeyoung asked me. I rolled my head to look over at him and smiled. 

“Yes. Like I said earlier, I don’t have much to live for here. And while I know it will be hard at first, it can’t get worse than how I feel now,” I answered. He looked at me. 

“How do you feel?” I choked on my spit, surprised that he would just ask me flat out. 

“You really want to know?” I asked. He nodded. I sighed. “Well, empty I guess. I feel like I feel so many negative emotions, but also nothing at all. I don’t have friends, and I never really have, so something must be wrong with me. I don’t even know why you’re here. I hate my life. I’m not happy and I don’t think I have anything to live for. I worry about everything, and I do mean everything. But I don’t ever share my feelings with people because I don’t want to burden them. I don’t even know why I’m telling you. I guess it hasn’t really hit me that you’re actually here. My mind is constantly telling me why I’m not good enough for things and it sucks. It sucks to not have someone there for you. It sucks to wake up wishing you didn’t. It sucks to feel like no one understands you. It sucks to question every bit of you. Everything just sucks.” I was trying to keep the sobs from coming, but it wasn’t working. I could feel the tears beginning to stream down my face. I was swallowing the sobs that were trying to escape. I brought my hands up to my face to cover it and wipe away the tears. Why did I even tell him all of that? It’s going to scare him away. He’s not going to like me. I’m a waste of space burdening him. I suddenly felt arms moving me. Saeyoung moved me so that I was now crying into his chest. I sobbed harder. The sounds coming out of me weren’t human. I think he picked me up, all I know was I gripped onto his shirt as I sobbed. He put me onto my bed and wrapped me into a hug once again. His hand moved to rub my back. 

“I know it sucks. I know how hard it is, but I’m here now. You’re not a burden. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’ll get through this. I’ll be here every step of the way,” he whispered. Why are you doing this? I don’t deserve this. I moved even closer to him, leaving no space between us as I cried. Saeyoung stayed there and comforted me, whispering that he was there for me. My cries began to quiet. Only a few sniffs and tears here and there. I looked up at Saeyoung.

“I’m sorry” I tried to whisper, but soon realized how harsh my voice sounded. 

“Don’t ever be sorry for your feelings,” Saeyoung whispered back. 

“But I am. I don’t normally cry this much,” I let out a small laugh. “You’ve been here for not even two days and I’ve already cried what three times or something?” 

“Sometimes it’s good to just let it all out. I’m just glad I could be here this time.” I buried my head back into his chest, finding comfort in his heartbeat once again. I know I shouldn’t be doing this, falling asleep in his arms when we’re not even really in a relationship. I don’t care though. I need someone and I’m just glad he’s here.

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 4

Ugh Mondays. They suck for everyone, and today was no different for me. I of course, had a super weird weekend. I’m so confused. Did it all really happen? Was Saeyoung Choi really here? Did he really come to meet me, ME, of all people? Did he really come to my apartment and clean? I mean, my apartment was cleaner yesterday, but I could have just imagined it. But then the chats yesterday were definitely off book. No where online does it say that chat room is supposed to happen. I mean I could type messages instead of choosing pre-made options. My life has gotten weird. Too weird. I’ve already been struggling mentally, and now I might actually be going crazy. No, I know I’m going crazy. There’s no way it was real. It’s not possible. There are no other dimensions, or worlds, or realities. There’s just this one where Saeyoung does not exist. I jumped at the sound of an alarm going off, stopping my train of thoughts. I had set an alarm to make sure I leave for class on time. Crap. I haven’t even showered yet I was so caught up in everything. Maybe I’ll take a day off...yeah right I’ll get so behind. I can’t be late. Too many stares for that. I guess I won’t shower and just hope for the best. I quickly put on a change of clothes and redid my hair into another bun. I’ll wash it eventually...maybe...it’s been a bit. I skipped breakfast and practically ran out of my apartment and to campus. I missed the bus, so I had to run the entire way. Thankfully, I made it to class just before it started.

I took my seat, the one in the very back in the corner, of course, and got to work. Or so I hoped. My mind kept thinking back to the past few days. How cruel can my brain be? I feel empty and anxious all the time, it reminds me of my failures and makes me question everything. And now it’s making me believe that Saeyoung is real. I’m just so stupid. Why am I even thinking about this? People would think I’m crazy. I started to feel eyes on me, so I looked up from my ‘notes’. People were moving into groups for an activity. Crap no. I knew I should have skipped. Did we already get groups or do we have to chose? I don’t want to chose, no one will chose me so I’ll either be alone or have to awkwardly ask to be in a group. I soon realized that two people were facing me. So we were assigned thank God. I began to sweat and shake, as I normally do when having to talk with new people. We got started on the project. Thankfully, neither seemed like talkers so we all agreed on just doing a portion of the work separately. The class seemed to drag on forever. Now not only was I thinking about my weekend, but now thoughts of how awkward I must have been talking to my group mates. They probably think I’m dumb. Did I stutter to much? Could they tell I was shaking? Did I seem weird? I shouldn’t have said that. Once again, I snapped back into reality to realize that our teacher had dismissed us. I packed up my things and quickly left. Thankfully, this is the only class I have today, my other was cancelled, right? I checked my emails to find the one saying the class was cancelled for the millionth time that day. I had checked before and I knew it, so why do I have to keep checking? I was starting to feel really hungry since I had skipped breakfast, so I decided to suck it up and go order something at a nearby fast food place (A/N: I don’t know pick your fav). Anxiety started to creep in. How stupid am I to feel anxious over something so basic? I never have to see the person ever again. They don’t care about what I say or do, but I still feel a bit anxious. I got into line and made sure to breathe. Once it got to my turn I ordered. Haha, I didn’t even stutter that time. Feeling proud of myself, I got my food and began walking to the bus stop. Somehow I managed to get there right before it left, so I got onto it, thankful I wouldn’t have to walk the entire way. I sat down on a seat away from everyone else. I felt my phone vibrate, another chat room. I had been trying to think about other things that don’t involve me going crazy, but that wasn’t working. I opened it up. 

Yoosung*: so you really got there?

707: yep! I think I fixed everything so I’m going to go again later today

Yoosung*: you sure (Y/N) would like that?

707: I don’t know...

It was then that I realized they didn’t notice I’d come into the chat room. He’s coming again? It’s really real? If I see him than it must be real, right? That doesn’t mean anything, I’m sure crazy people see and hear things too...how can I be certain? Maybe a picture? Pictures will only show what’s there right? Okay, if he comes, I’ll just try to get a picture of us and I’ll know for sure. 

Yoosung*: well I got to go theres amonters on LOLOL bye

*Yoosung* has left the chat

707: all alone T_T

707: I should go surprise (Y/N) now hehe 

*707 has left the chat

(Y/N): idiots lolol I’ve been here, it won’t be a surpise <3

I smiled and turned my phone back off. The bus had finally made it to my stop so I grabbed my things and left. I made the short walk to my apartment. I got on the elevator and started walking down the hall to my apartment. I stopped midway. My jaw dropped slightly. Sitting on the floor in front of my door was Saeyoung. Picture, my brain reminded me. I began walking closer, trying not to smile. I’m still mad he just left. Wait no this still might just be a hallucination. Saeyoung looked up when he heard someone coming and smiled when he saw it was me. “Surprise!” he yelled. 

“I was in the chat Saeyoung, I knew you would come. Or at least I knew my hallucinations would continue.” He frowned. 

“But I’m real,” he whined. 

“Mm as real as every other anime character. And if you are really real then I’m mad at you,” I crossed my arms. Well, tried to, it was hard to do so with the food in my hands. 

“Well I am real and why are you mad at me?” 

“Because you left...like everyone else,” I trailed off. Saeyoung’s head dropped.

“I know. I am sorry. I really thought I had figured it out, but I think I do now, so I shouldn’t be going anywhere.” I looked up at him and squinted at him, pursing my lips to complete the look. 

“Promise?”

“Promise,” he smiled. I went ahead and unlocked my apartment and let him in. 

“You know I’m surprised you didn’t just pick the lock,” I said. 

“I would never do such a thing!” he protested. He made his way to my couch and flopped onto it. 

“If you say so. Sorry I didn’t get any extra food. Are you hungry? I can make something?” I made my way to the kitchen, setting my food down. 

“Nah I’m good.” I went ahead and decided it’d be best to eat out in my living room for two reasons. Reason one, I don’t trust Saeyoung, and reason two, it would be more rude to just sit in my kitchen and eat. I sat down next to him. I quickly remembered that I needed a picture. 

“Hey, can I get a picture with you?” I asked suddenly. He looked up at me confused, but then smirked. 

“Why? You can’t get enough of this face?” he asked and then stuck out his tongue. 

“No,” I rolled my eyes. “I want to make sure I’m not hallucinating. Pictures can only show what’s here right?” He laughed. 

“A picture wouldn’t be enough proof. Even if nothings actually there, you could just hallucinate it when looking at the picture!” 

“Oh yeah...well you did not just help your case any. How am I supposed to figure out if I’m going crazy or not,” I frowned. 

“You’re not going crazy. How many times do I have to tell you I’m really here?”

“That’s exactly what a hallucination would say!” He frowned. “I’ve been so depressed my brain is now making me think that you’re here! There has to be some way to prove that I’m right!”

“Well there is one way.” he mumbled. 

“What is it?” I asked, desperate to know the truth. He looked up at me and I almost missed the slight pink dusting his cheeks. He leaned closer and reached out for my chin again. What is he- oh... I didn’t have time to think before I realized his lips were on mine. Time sort of just stopped. I got lost in the feeling out it all. My hands moved to the back of his head, his moving to my sides. Before I noticed, Saeyoung was deepening the kiss, his tongue making its way into my mouth. It soon was getting hard to breathe, and we broke the kiss. I looked down, embarrassed. We sat in silence for a second before Saeyoung broke it. “Well, now do you believe me?” he asked. I tried to pull myself together.

“I-it was, uh, pretty convincing, but it still doesn’t really prove anything...” 

“Hmmm, does that mean I’ll have to try again?” he asked. 

“No...” I softly answered. I was conflicted now. Sure that all felt real, and I definitely wouldn’t mind another, but it truly doesn’t prove much. 

“Oh” he replied softly. I winced. He sounded hurt. I don’t mean it like that, really. 

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” I began. 

“No, you’re right. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have pushed you.” There was another moment of silence. Both of us just thinking about what had happened. 

“I have an idea.” I broke the silence. He looked up at me, ready for me to continue. “I’ll go with you and you’ll order something or buy something from somewhere. If other people can see you, then I’ll know it’s not a hallucination.” He thought for a moment. 

“Yeah, I don’t see any holes in that logic...where to?” 

“There’s a convenience store about a block from here.” We both got up and made our way outside. After a few minutes, of a silent and awkward walk, we arrived at the store. “Here we are,” I said. 

“Any requests on what to buy?” he asked. 

“Nope I’m just going to stand back and observe.” He chuckled. 

“Normally I’m the one doing the observing, but okay.” We walked inside and I watched him disappear in one of the isles. I went to go find a snack to buy. I wasn’t just going to walk in and not buy something. As I walked down the isle, my thoughts started getting to me again. I can’t believe your life has come to this. So lonely that you’re making someone up. This is why people don’t talk to you. That’s why the walk here was awkward. You don’t know how to talk to people, so you just don’t. It feels real, but it’s not. No one would kiss you. Imagining your first kiss and making it feel real is really sick. You’re sick. No one wants to be with you. No one would want to be your first anything. You should just be leftovers...a hand on my shoulder interrupted my thoughts. I didn’t notice that I was tearing up. I quickly wiped them away. “You okay?” Saeyoung asked me. I kept my head down. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” 

“You don’t have to pretend in front of me you know?” 

“Yeah because you’re not real. You wouldn’t be doing all this, you wouldn’t be this nice to me if you were real,” I answer. He let out a small sigh. 

“I don’t know who would make you think that. But I still have to prove to you that I’m here right? Watch.” I finally looked up and I watched him walk away. I watched him go up to the counter, smile, and have a small chat with the cashier before paying and coming back to me. He smiled at me. “See?” he asked. Unable to hold back any longer, I threw my arms around him in a hug. 

“You’re really here?” I asked. 

“I’m really here,” he answered. 

“You really came for me?”

“I really came just for you, (Y/N).”

“Really though?” He chuckled again.

“Really though. I came for you, and only you. I’m here and I don’t intend to go anywhere unless you want me to.” I hugged him tighter. He pretended to choke. “Ack (Y/N)! I’m not going to be here if you keep holding on so tight!” I laughed. 

“I’m just making sure it’s real.” I finally let go of him and looked at him. How is this happening? Why me? I don’t deserve this. 

“You do,” he suddenly said. 

“What?” I asked. Can he read minds?

“You do deserve this. I’m the one that didn’t deserve you. I didn’t deserve your help with Mint Eye, and I didn’t deserve your feelings. But you, (Y/N), you really do deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy. I hope to make you feel happy and loved and I don’t know if I’ll be enough, but I’m going to try.” I just smiled, unable to form any words or sentences in my mind. I don’t know how he knew what I was thinking. I didn’t know if I fully believed his words, but for now I was going to try. “Now lets head back so I can try to explain everything to you and answer any questions you have.” 

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 3

I woke up and immediately my head was pounding in pain. I looked over my shoulder to see nothing. No one was there. I frowned. Of course it was all just a dream. He’s not real. How stupid can I get? No, how lonely am I? It felt so real though. I started to tear up. Damn it not now. It was just a dream it’s nothing to cry over. But even in my dreams people still leave me. Why did I wake up expecting Seven to be here? It’s not possible. He’s not real.  I reached to my bedside table and grabbed my phone, desperate for some kind of distraction. I started scrolling through social media, my mind eventually going blank. No breakdowns today. I sighed. Another boring day for me. Thankfully, it’s a Saturday, so I can just do nothing. I don’t even have to leave this bed. After a few hours of mindless scrolling I started to become hungry. I stood up after getting out of bed and stretched. My headache began to get worse. Ugh, I cried too much last night. I started to walk out of my room, but something caught my eye. I turned around and looked at the other small table next to my bed. I squinted at it, my brows furrowing. That’s not there….is it? There’s no way. What is happening? I walked over to it. A red letter was left on the table. I hesitated before touching it. It’s real. Is it? Or am I finally going insane? With shaking hands I picked it up to read it. The handwriting on it was unfamiliar to me. It can’t be. Maybe I am just going insane. It was a dream, Saeyoung doesn’t exist. I held my breath as I read the note. “(Y/N), I’m so so so so sorry to do this to you. I promised you I wouldn’t go, but I did. I didn’t mean to, but I still broke my promise. I guess that’s all I can do is break promises. Something is wrong. I thought my machine would work to keep me here, but last night my head started to pound and my body shook. I can see myself phasing back to my dimension right now, so I’m trying to make this quick. I’m sorry I have to leave, but I promise I’ll find a way to perfect the machine so I can come back to you. Please wait for me, ~Saeyoung”. After staring at the letter for what felt like hours, I let out my breath. Was it all real? Was he here? No that’s not possible. There’s no way. I must really be going insane. I got home last night and went to bed, everything after that was a dream. My mind is just playing tricks on me. It’s nothing. I put the letter back on the table and left to go eat. I made some eggs and toast and sat down to eat. What has my life come too? Why am I even doing this? I’m so alone my brain is trying to convince me that Saeyoung, a character from a game, is real, and here for me. Haha as if. Why would he want me? I’m worth nothing. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I’m a disaster. No one likes me, if someone did then wouldn’t I have at least one friend? I try talking to people, but I’m either ignored or they don’t talk back. I’m too closed off, too shy, too stupid I guess. There’s no way someone would want to be with me. So I should just- “No!” I shouted at myself, slamming my fist down on the table. Stop. Don’t do anything. You’ll just burden people more. Stop thinking. Stop feeling. It’s not worth it. You’re not worth it. I grabbed my water and chugged it. You’ll get through this. Should I call someone? Tell someone? No. They wouldn’t want to deal with it. Getting things off your shoulders is a luxury I don’t get. Think about something else. Oh I know how about how you’re not straight. People will judge you. Your parents say they’d be fine with it, but would they really? No. They wouldn’t. Frustrated with myself again, I got up from the table. I put my dishes into the sink and went to find my earbuds. I shoved them in my ears and started to play music to drown out the argument in my head. I truly have gone crazy. I closed my eyes and focused on the music. It’s my only comfort besides anime. 

After a few songs I had calmed down. I decided to switch distractions and watch anime. I grabbed my remote and put one on. I had gotten really into the fight scene ahead of me, when I was interrupted by my doorbell. Confused, I paused the show and went to the door. No one was there, so I opened it. I looked down to see a small package and flowers. Who in the world would?... I picked them up and brought them inside, after looking down the halls of my apartment. Yeah, no one in sight….weird. I set the box and flowers down on my kitchen counter. I looked for a note, expecting one to be in the flowers, but there was none. Maybe in the box? I grabbed a knife, I know really safe, and opened the box. I finally found a note. “I hope this works haha. Hang in there, I’m coming back. ~S”. I dropped the letter in shock. No way. What is happening? Is someone stalking me? This is getting weird. It can’t be Saeyoung...he’s not real. But how do I explain that dream? It felt so real. Then the letter and now this...either I’m going insane, someone is really stalking me, or- no he’s not real. But maybe he is… I decided to look and see what was in the box. It had my favorite snack. How? The flowers were some of my favorites too. My mind went through a list of people I knew. Who would know this? My parents knew, but it’s unlikely they just sent me flowers. I grabbed my phone and decided to ask my parents. A few minutes I got the answer, they hadn’t. They asked if it was from someone special like a boyfriend, and I grimaced when I read it. They can’t know. So of course I answered and said no it was nothing. I didn’t want to worry them. My phone vibrated in my hand, bringing me back to it’s attention. It was another notification from mystic messenger. I opened it up, just a chatroom with 707. 

*(Y/N) has entered the chat

707: (Y/N)!

(Y/N): 707!

707: Did it work?? 

My heart stopped. This chatroom isn’t supposed to say that. Is it really? I looked at the options I was given to answer, but there were none. Instead I could type in whatever I wanted. My eyes widened and my hands shook. It’s real? He’s real? I swallowed and typed a message. 

(Y/N): what’s happening?

707: YES! FINALLY!

707: I did it!

707: No options right? 

707: You can see this?

(Y/N): yes...but what’s happening

(Y/N): are you really there? That wasn’t a dream

707: yes I’m here. I’m real. We all are.

707: I finally hacked in to make this a way to communicate freely instead of these ‘options’ and story line. I did it 

(Y/N): I’m really confused. This can’t be real

707: it is

707: did you get the flowers and snacks? :D

(Y/N): yeah….

707: YES!

707: HAHA IM SO HAPPY

707: But celebrating is for later. I’m sorry I left so suddenly

707: I thought I had figured it out, but there was a glitch in the machine I made. I'll fix it and be there as soon as I can. 

707: but~

707: for now you can talk to us, the real us, with no options or story line

(Y/N): I’ve really gone insane haven’t I? 

(Y/N): Haha

(Y/N): ha...I should call someone this has gone too far

707: (Y/N). You’re not cray. We’re here and we exist, it’s just a different dimension

(Y/N): Different….DiMeNsIoN?!~

707: …

(Y/N): Yeah OkAy. Alternate dimensions exist and I’m talking to the Saeyoung Choi for real. He “exists” 

707: yes….

(Y/N): oh I’ve really gone insane 

707: no, we’re here...do you not remember last night?...

(Y/N): yes, last night I had a DREAM that Saeyoung Choi came to see me. HAHA me as if. And I guess I’m still dreaming, or I’ve gone insane at this point because this isn’t possible

707: That wasn’t a dream. This isn’t a dream. 

(Y/N): yeah okay~ 

707: well then I guess I’ll have to convince you when I see you again that I’m real...I’ll have to leave more evidence… maybe this time on you 

*Zen has entered the chat

Zen: what the hell is going on? 

Zen: Saeyoung why can I say what I want? 

Zen: Also stay away from (Y/N) 

707: Zen! So glad you’re here. I broke us out 

Zen: broke us out?...

707: Yep! We were all stuck in this game/dimension and I figured out how to get us out of the game part. So our lives will no longer repeat. Also I met (Y/N) last night in their dimension. 

Zen: so… we’re free?

707: Yep! But (Y/N) doesn’t believe me :( 

Zen: they’re here? 

(Y/N): Hi “Zen” 

Zen: omg 

Zen: this is happening

(Y/N): yes, welcome to my dream of insanity 

Zen: I think this is real…

(Y/N): its real in this dream of mine

707: see? 

707: I think I’ve almost fixed the machine so I should be able to go back tomorrow 

Zen: can I go? 

707: I don’t think it can handle more than one person, we might blow up time 

Zen: ok…

707: sorry

707: I should go work now though

707: (Y/N),

707: I promise I’ll be there tomorrow

707: bye~

(Y/N): yeah ‘see you tomorrow’

*707 has left the chat

Zen: so…

(Y/N): this is crazy

Zen: yeah it is…

Zen: we’re really free. I can go see people for real

Zen: I’m going to go, I need to think 

(Y/N): bye ig

*Zen and (Y/N) have left the chat

I’ve really gone insane. I decided not to think about it, or at least try not to. So I spent most of the remainder of my day watching anime and eating occasionally. I didn’t notice my eyes closing as I was watching, eventually falling asleep on my couch for the night.

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 2

We walked down the street, hand in hand. I felt like the world almost looked a little brighter. How could it not be when Saeyoung is by my side? But I began to worry about his presence here. Wouldn’t it like, screw with timelines or something science-y? And what about his universe and all the RFA members there? Was it a game I was playing, or was it just a way to communicate with another universe? I decided to ask. “So, is it okay for you to be here? It won’t like, mess up the world or anything?” 

He laughed, “it’s okay for me to be here.” 

“Hmm okay. But like is mystic messenger just a game or is it really a whole new universe?” 

“I’m not sure I should answer that...but it’s kind of both.” 

I furrowed my brows and looked up at him, “that’s not very helpful, but okay. What about Saeran and the RFA? Is it okay to leave them?” 

He smiled and looked at me. “They knew about my plans to get here. I figure we can figure something out. Either we stay here, go there, or I guess I could go back alone if you don’t want-” 

“I do want to stay with you.” I interrupted. I know it’s weird. We kinda just met, but at the same time, I’ve known him through the game. 

“Okay. Then we will figure it out later.” 

“Okay...” We kept walking in a comfortable silence. Both of us just happy to be there together. We eventually made it to the apartment, and I hesitated to unlock the door. My apartment was a mess. I hadn’t had energy to clean it so it was kind of a disaster. Oh no, gosh what am I wearing? I look like a mess, he’s probably changed his mind after seeing me...he definitely will after seeing this wreck of an apartment. 

“Everything okay?” Saeyoung interrupted my thoughts. 

“Uh, yeah, I guess. I just, uh- myapartmentiskindofadisaster,” I replied quickly and quietly. 

“What was that?”

“My apartment is kind of a disaster right now...it’s a little embarrassing. I’m about to let someone I really care about into a disaster of an apartment…it looks about as I do right now.” 

He laughed and I quickly looked up at him, confused. “(Y/N). Do you really think I’d care about all that? I know you’ve been having a hard time. That’s why I tried even harder to get here. I don’t care how much of a disaster any part of your life is. Also, I think you are very cute, even in those sweatpants and sweatshirt. Though, I think you’d look even cuter in my sweatshirt,” he winked.

I blushed. “I’ll take you up on that offer sometime. But okay, I did warn you.” I unlocked the door and we entered. I kept my head down in shame. It was definitely the worst my apartment had ever looked. Saeyoung once again grabbed my chin and tilted my face up to look at him. 

“Hey, stop looking down so much. I want to see those pretty eyes of yours. This is nothing to be embarrassed about. I’ve seen much, much worse. My own place has looked worse than this. Now let's get to work so we can relax.” Saeyoung immediately got to work on cleaning. We cleaned for about an hour before both of us were too tired to continue. It looked better, but was still pretty bad. I was in the kitchen when I heard Saeyoung. 

“Ughhh I’m so tired.” 

I smiled. “Me too, I think that’s enough for today, it��s almost midnight.” I walked out into the living room to find Saeyoung. Instead of seeing him where I expected him, my face was met with a pillow. I heard Saeyoung begin to burst out in laughter. I pouted at him. “That hurt,” I said, doing my best to make me look sad. He kept laughing. I frowned and grabbed the nearest pillow to throw at him. He caught it of course, which irked me. “That’s not fai-” I was interrupted by that same pillow I just threw hitting my face. Now I was mad. I grabbed a pillow and began to chase Saeyoung around my apartment. He ran into my room and slammed the door, using his weight to keep it shut as I helplessly tried to open it. “That’s really not fair! You’re so much bigger there’s no way I can open this!” I yelled at him. 

“Hehe, that’s not my fault (Y/N)! You have to keep in shape for missions like this!” he replied. I sighed and stopped my attempts at getting in. I heard a small click. 

“Did you just lock me out of my own bedroom?” I asked. His reply of giggles was the only answer I needed. I started to feel a bit anxious. I hadn’t gotten to clean my room up yet, so it was still disastrous. I hope he doesn’t try anything. 

“Ooooh (Y/N) I did not expect you to own this!!” he giggled like a child. Immediately my mind raced through what in the world he could have found. I consider myself to be a pretty innocent person, so I had no ideas. Oh no. It’s not….an anime poster...or worse a cardboard cutout. Scratch that last one I got rid of it. Crud. I heard a gasp. “Oh-ho-ho (Y/N)! This pair is pretty scandalous!” he yelled out. I felt my cheeks turn red with embarrassment and anger. “Saeyoung Choi. If you do not shut that dresser drawer right now-” Another gasp interrupted me. “No way. (Y/N), you’ve got some explaining to do. No one should see you in this stuff!” I think I died right there. “Saeyounggg stop,” I whined. 

“But it’s so fun!” he replied. I sighed and gave up. I walked back to the kitchen and decided to look for some food. Then it occurred to me that I had nowhere for Saeyoung to sleep. Great. I mean I trust him so it wouldn’t be that bad to share….my face once again started to heat up. I heard my door finally open. He’d been in there for about 10 minutes. I figured he’d get bored and come out eventually and I guess I was right. 

“Oh (Y/N)~” he called out. 

“Saeyoung~” I answered. 

“Come here.” As requested I headed over to my room. He was standing in the middle of the room, proud of his work. Somehow, he managed to clean a lot of it within those 10 minutes. 

“Saeyoung, you didn’t have to do this,” I began. 

“Well I wanted to. Plus we gotta sleep somewhere, and I don’t know about you, but it’s harder to sleep when everything's a mess.” 

“We?” I questioned. His face began to get red, it was so cute. 

“I, uh, mean you, i-if, so you could sleep well. I-I’ll be on the couch of course,” he managed to eventually get out, completely flustered. I laughed. His face shot up in shock. I quieted down after a few seconds of laughing, when I noticed him staring at me. 

“What?” I asked. 

He smiled, “Nothing. I’ve just been waiting to hear that.” Now it was my turn to get a blush of my face. 

“Oh...also I was kidding, I’m not going to make you sleep on the couch. I know enough about you to know you won’t try anything,” I told him. 

“Ok….then I call the right side!” he yelled before running and claiming his side. I smiled and shook my head before joining him. It was awkward at first for sure. I turned the lights off, but couldn’t sleep. I could tell Saeyoung was trying to give me as much space as possible, he literally would fall off the bed if he moved any further. I could also tell that he was not able to fall asleep. Gathering courage, I finally asked him. 

“Hey Saeyoung?” 

“Yeah?” he whispered back. 

“Is it okay if I- I mean can we, um...no, ugh,” I struggled to ask what I wanted. Saeyoung rolled over so he was now facing me. I stopped breathing. His glasses were off, allowing me to see his entire face. He’s stunning. He smiled at me and my heart melted. “Yeah” was all he said before moving closer to me and wrapping his arms around me so my head was on his chest. I don’t know how he knew what I was going to ask. I don’t even know how he’s here, but he is. I felt more comfort than I had in years. I snuggled further into him, afraid that he’d be gone when I woke up. Afraid all of this was just a dream. I listened to his heartbeat, telling me that he’s real, he’s here, as it lulled me into sleep.