#let me taste it
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Y'all they cropped me out. I was under the table.
oh my god
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I'm more of a wine guy but I had no problem swallowing their small batch, limited release, fresh brew.
Besides, they'd been carrying it around for a week and so desperately needed to lighten their loads.
You know what they say; it's part timing, part luck, and part ability to swallow on demand. Well, at least I say that.
#let me taste it#wanna taste?#freshly brewed#fresh batch#fresh brew#yeasty#beer brew#six day laod#blew them both#went down on them#lightened their loads#swallowed their brew
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Hold up I've got a collection in progress
#pls if you know more examples of pop girlies w swords let me know#this is my favorite genre of photo#carly rae jepsen#fiona apple#fka twigs#phoebe bridgers#caroline polachek#björk#ROSALÍA#weyes blood#grimes#mitski#charli xcx#lorde#kate bush#SZA#florence welch#florence + the machine#taste in music
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hi hi hi girlies I’m doing a Maltober prompt list teehee
#BARKING LETS GOOOO#butcher for u Izel#Oscar for me#Noel for the girlies with taste#artists on tumblr#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevolent fanart#maltober2024#arthur lester#john doe#john malevolent#daniel saltzman#bella saltzman#oscar malevolent#detective Noel#charlie dowd#the king in yellow#kiy malevolent
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step into the light
what do you see?
my sun,
my stars
shining on me
#narumitsu#wrightworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#ace attorney#can you BELIEVE i made it through that without a big ole smackeroo? amazing#anyway… dont think too hard abt what this is. theyre just in a magical place. dream world. idk. theyre in love does it even matter#shoutout to the anon that requested the kisses on the corners of the eyes…. my friend you spoke to a part of me that needed to awaken#the mush in this was brought to you by my maple tree of romance and a lifetime of boiling over with a need to channel it somewhere#they taste like a sunrise and syrup and i’m choking up#i hope the last page being colored isn’t too jarring it just looked like that in my head#that last panel of pg 2…. boys i’m printing that and sending it to all my friends bc wth i was FEVERISH with nrmts holy fuck#last art of 2023 AND first art of 2024. let it be a year of multi-track drifting#fan art#aa#rendevok#fan comic
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guess who 😈
and I have this art with beta—
I also have a lot of sketches that I hope to finish in the near future (don't pay attention to the fact that there're a lot of Howdy here....)
(hum)beta!Wally (eechy pspsps 🫴)
I don't know what else to show you, so I'll show you (the old ones) art for my mutual :]
Margo for @//thelone-copper ; (I don't know his name 😔🥄🥄🥄) for @//dxkjf
#Hooray I came back again.... two months later.... hm#you know I actually draw very often but most of the sketches seem very stupid to me to put them here—#yes the feeling of shame for my art. AGAIN ((i'm trying to get rid of this feeling))#ahem. let's change the subject#I hope you're doing well and eating well!! also don’t forget to drink water :]#please I love water so much.... such a refreshing taste smhhh#welcome home#welcome home wally#wally darling#howdy pillar#sketches#art#wally fanart#barnaby b beagle#beta wally
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Bro how did you get on haiku bot again!
I DONT KNOW,, Thank you again Haiku bot for your blessing 🙏🏾
(Original post)
#ask reply#TBH I thought for a second yall were mistaking the last post I got from Haiku bot as something new#BUT NAH HAIKU bot really did strike again#my beloved Haiku bot 💜💜#on the Jeremiah post too based BAHAH#you have taste haiku bot 😤#I’m glad I know for sure anytime this happens#you guys will be the first to let me know immediately#thank yall for your service 🙏🏾
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in case anyone was wondering where I disappeared to for the past few days, i've been going insane again. fun fact staring at stained glass windows for hours on end will not turn you catholic (source: i stared at so many stained glass windows to make this bc i really wanted to go for a realistic church window sort of vibe)
tumblr is a coward and won't let me upload the full size images so you can look at them and zoom in to your heart's content (please look at them. please) [1] [2]
Prints of this are available on my Society6 (both versions cuz I'm indecisive) (it may take a little while for them to actually appear on the site)
Details:
Timelapse under the cut!
my favorite part of this is when I'm trying to get the pose down and I keep flipping the canvas and it looks like they're doing a silly little dance :)
#ultrakill#my art#stained glass art#gabriel ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#gabv1el#artists on tumblr#this took . so long. why do i keep doing this to myself#the voice of god commanded me to ignore all previous instructions and finish this. and by voice of god i mean adhd#i need to go eat a fruit to recover or smth#....like the food. just to clarify#vibes-wise very much inspired by The Ecstasy of Saint Teresa#had a lot of fun walking a very careful line between tasteful and homoerotic#i love drawing stained glass windows that would make the pope say a homophobic slur for a third time.#the file is named 'penetration metaphor' in case there's any doubt about what im trying to say here btw.#also this was too much serious drawing so i left a little easter egg in there let's see how many people notice lmao
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Hearing news that he’s confirmed romanceable (and described as intimate and sensual) got me so giddy I might just expire.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#emmrich volkarin#my art#this guy is so targeted at me just from design and what little we know of him in the written works#and I’m so mad cos I need him now#ahdidbd#lemme indulge im sorry it’s so rarely I ever get a romance with an older character who’s part of the main cast#it’s so damn rare#so I get stupidly hyper when it happens#my tastes are always stuck being npcs or unattainable cos they’re not usually conventionally attractive#so I’m so so glad for how unique they’re letting us strive for in this#grrrrr#it’s 1am in the morning how am I to sleep with this info#wtf BioWare
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Just give me a little taste
#shower#taste#let me taste you#in my mouth#in my mind#desire#intimate#kiss me#call me a good girl#voice k!nk#oldermen#age g4p#daddy k!nk
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Pynch Fic Rec Wrap-Up
35 fics you would be doing yourself a favor by reading. divided into 5 (+1) neat categories for your convenience.
GOATs
the best to ever (ever ever) do it.
Free as a Bird by pinkhorizon rating: M | wc: 31k (10 chapters) | musician au this fic is at the very top of this top tier list not because my heart was pounding and I was giggling and teary-eyed and overwhelmed and emotional throughout it - although it's all true; but because I obsessed over it non-stop for a week after reading it, and still think about it with alarming frequency. this is, truly and embarrassingly, my roman empire. if you ever read an au from this fandom, please dear lord: let it be this one.
Ronan is the lead guitarist of the Ravens, and Adam is a roadie. Romance ensues.
Friends We Keep by pinkhorizon rating: M | wc: 56k (10 chapters) | non-magical future this section of the list only has three recs, and this is the second one by pinkhorizon. this is not by mistake. in this case, ronan and adam are occasionally friends with benefits but continuously deeply in love; this fic gives you the kind of good pain that puts a lump in your throat but keeps you so, so hopeful for that happy ending because it earns it. for bonus points, it deals with mental health issues and trauma and just all the heavy stuff from canon in a truly superb way.
Adam doesn’t know what he wants, and Ronan wants whatever he can have.
Fall Back by flightspath rating: E | wc: 14k (6 chapters) | college au unlike free as a bird, I didn't fall into obsession with this fic immediately. I read it once and enjoyed it, found myself craving a reread shockingly soon thereafter, and loved it more and more each time. I only noticed how special it was when I easily passed the 10+ rereads. much like adam and ronan in this fic, friends with benefits whose feelings creep up upon, my deep pure love for this fic creeped up on me.
Adam, at the library, scanning books with a pen behind his ear. Adam, trudging across the quad in the snow. A recurring dream, all throughout fall semester, a bright spot in Ronan’s days.
Canon Compliant
* compliant with the original series; I tend to ignore td3's existence.
Of Being the Tenders of Gardens by shaenie rating: E | wc: 85k it's honestly beyond my comprehension how this fic isn't its own classic in this fandom, if only for its arguably unparalleled focus on the magic system and adam's powers and the connection to cabeswater. in short, it's a post-canon take on adam and ronan trying to bring cabeswater back, but not by dreaming a new one.
It's Adam Ronan takes to what he thinks might be a remnant of Cabeswater first.
Rock Me Like by zephfair / @zephfair rating: E | wc: 6k I read many fics about different aspects of adam and ronan cohabiting during the summer after high school, but I specifically liked how this fic alludes to their different upbringing in the more practical ways.
When bad weather threatens the Barns, Adam does his best to take care of his loved ones.
negative capability by smileymikey / @smileymikey rating: G | wc: 3k the general consensus is that these two find it easier to communicate through touch than through words, so I really liked how this tackles the way touch may present its own issues as well.
If Adam were poetic, he and Ronan would be spinning planets, constantly drawn together by gravity and the sheer power of the universe, sometimes aligning so they would be both at the furthest points of their orbits at the same time with millions of miles of emptiness and dust between them, but sometimes aligning so they would be at the other edge of their orbits, hovering inches away from one another, the dust between ionised and pulsing with tension. But he’s not. So they’re just assholes.
lavender and burning skin by deathlessaphrodite rating: E | wc: 8k very early in their relationship, spending time in the barns with the lynch brothers and fumbling around sex and communication the way god intended.
To: Adam Parrish From: Ronan Lynch Subject: (no subject) come round tonight? not if you’re working obv r. Adam stared at the email for several seconds before he could even begin to comprehend it. Ronan Lynch and email did not belong in the same sentence.
Between Eternities by BeautifulSoup / @thebeautifulsoup rating: T | wc: 12k (10 chapters) actually fucking brilliant vignettes of moments from the year after trk ended.
The world is waiting for them. Not the world they saved last night, but the other one. The solid, undreamt and undreamlike world of Aglionby and Ganseys.
Wringing Out the Hours by quietcoast / @sentimentalspiders rating: T | wc: 8k one of the very few future fics which gave me that exactly-right feeling.
It felt irresponsible to leave. He had willed the thought away, and breathed in the sleep-sweat of Ronan’s neck instead. He thought about the scratch of Ronan’s jaw, and the soft fury of his mouth. He thought about how far into the drive his first exit would be. He thought about Opal, who had hidden herself in the enthusiastic buttonbush that grew alongside the house; she had taken to crouching there whenever it looked like Adam and Ronan were doing things related to Leaving, and had gnawed an entire branch clean. She watched them as they swayed and whispered, and Adam had thought she would stay in the bush and not come see him at all, but he was wrong: at the last minute she had been unable to stand it, and had burst out to wrap herself around his legs. It was impossible to leave them. He had gotten in the car.
The hang of being alive again by Goshen (applecrumbledore) / @goshen-applecrumbledore rating: E | wc: 13k I can say with a good amount of authority that I've read every single iteration of immediately-post-canon pynch, and every single take on their first time, and this is just the most heart-stopping and disarming and gorgeously written one of them all.
Falling for Ronan had felt like going to speak at the same time as someone else after a long silence, two people bumbling over their words to say, no, sorry, go ahead before one of them says what they were going to say.
Roses in Between My Thighs by orphan_account (*) rating: E | wc: 6k I marked this with an asterisk because technically speaking, it's not canon compliant - it was written before the series was completed. but its grasp on the characters is so good that it's honestly impossible to tell it wasn't written post-trk, so I'm counting it.
Four things that could have ruined them but didn't.
Canon Divergence/Non-Magical
where the setting is close enough to the original universe, with minor changes.
Never Knock by burn_it_slow / @burn-it-slow rating: E | wc: 28k | non-magical adam goes off to college and unintentionally loses touch with his best friend ronan, all the while realizing he's in love with him. a summer later they meet again. also: all the emails adam never sent, but probably should have.
“We good here?” Ronan sweeps a knuckle across his lower lip and glares at Adam as if daring him to say something about… any of this whole situation. Whether it’s the destroyed car, the forgotten phone number, or the gratuitous kiss from a super hot dude with an expensive motorcycle, Adam can’t exactly determine.
A Strange and Complicated Thing by ungoodpirate / @ungoodgatsby rating: T | wc: 39k (12 chapters) | non-magical a retelling of select parts of a non-magical canon if adam and ronan started sneaking around to hook up first and became friends and boyfriends later - with a slow and excellent build of emotional intimacy.
Didn’t Adam Parrish deserve nice things? Didn’t Adam Parrish deserve to be pushed against the back wall of Boyd’s and be kissed like he was addictive by a boy who had the cheekbones of a model? Didn’t he deserve hands grasping at his waist with an eagerness to be held close that Adam had never known? Adam Parrish didn’t have many nice things in his life, and he wasn’t going to question this one that had happened unanticipated this one random, Saturday afternoon.
every dream i've ever had has been of myself by cloverspies / @parrishh rating: T | wc: 8k a different version of how their first kiss could've gone that literally had me breathless and kicking my feet.
Chasing down a mysterious address left behind by a dead psychic was much more attainable than getting ice cream, which was all sorts of messed up but also the truest thought Ronan had had all day, so he shifted into reverse and peeled out of the two spots the BMW had been taking up without even bothering to glance at his mirrors. He was already burning rubber, practically drifting around the corner of the parking lot exit, when he asked, "Where to?"
Every Stupid Little Thing by Diana_Dreams / @diana-dreams rating: M | wc: 10k a canon-divergence vaguely placed in the timeline in which floundering teenagers struggle through expressing their emotions. more importantly, this has a first kiss car scene that still lives rent free in my brain.
Courting. Jesus. It sounds like an awful joke. Parrishs don't court. They get girls knocked up and beat the shit out of the people they're supposed to love.
Alternate Universe
A Moment in Time by pinkhorizon rating: M | wc: 132k (20 chapters) falling in love, getting together, breaking up, pining, getting back together, all crafted by pinkhorizon's masterful hand. if you're still not convinced to read all of their works: why, and also, do.
Ronan likes being alone. Adam's looking for summer work.
(i’ll clean up) the mess that you are by ecoterrorism / @bartskull rating: M | wc: 5k there's just something about baseball au's and soulmatism.
It will work because Adam willed it so. Even when Ronan doubts God, he still knows better than to doubt this.
go running by thesehands / @ahotknife rating: E | wc: 72k (5 chapters) emotionally unavailable rich professional adam starts having kinky sex with his co-worker's brother ronan and somehow convinces himself there are no feelings involved. then it blows up in his face.
most of the time, ronan takes his crucifix off when they have sex. sometimes, he doesn't. sometimes, adam thinks he might be ready for a relationship. most of the time, he doesn’t.
light by paintedpolarbear rating: T | wc: 3k a paramedic au with the tangible sort of attraction that makes you want to read meet-cutes in the first place.
When the tones drop at four in the morning, Adam briefly entertains the fantasy of rolling over and getting more sleep. Then he puts his boots on.
seek ye the living by charactershoes / @charactershoesfic rating: T | wc: 40k (9 chapters) a fleabag au that I enjoyed with all my whole ass self despite committing the cardinal sin of not really enjoying fleabag. this deals with grief and religion and god-slash-magic and purpose versus autonomy in a way that changed my interpretation of trc forevermore.
Ronan says, “What’s the church’s stance on fratricide?” “Frowned upon,” says the almost-priest. He’s got a remote, orphan-eyed face like something off a prayer card, but his voice is as Henrietta as cicada song. “Although there’s precedent.”
gets late early by charactershoes / @charactershoesfic rating: G | wc: 18k I've already made my point about baseball au's and soulmatism, so let me add this: there is just something about authentic depictions of teenage boys and their repressed emotions. also, like, essentially everything by this author is gold.
That year, Ronan was Declan Lynch’s Little Brother, The Kid With The Dead Dad. That year Adam Parrish was The Public School Kid. That year Adam Parrish was God’s Gift To Southpaws. That year they went to the league championship and blew it badly. Next year, Ronan was Academically Ineligible. Next year, Adam Parrish was gone. Now, Ronan is a senior and starting catcher on the Aglionby Ravens. Now, Adam is back on the clubhouse bench, tightening the ragged laces on his cleats.
A stillness at once awful and sublime by Wisteria_Leigh / @purrincesscatitude rating: T | wc: 18k adam experiences a crisis and applies to be a fire lookout on an isolated mountaintop in montana. this is a truly remarkable lesson in interweaving canon into a completely alternate setting, which manages to be both beautiful and poignant.
It’s a momentary lapse of emotional regulation, if one is generous. An absolute fucking meltdown, if one is honest. When Adam comes back into his body, he’s lying on his bed, empty styrofoam staining his duvet with red chili oil, blank-eyed scrolling through his LinkedIn feed of job openings at Harley-Davidson for motorcycle engineers. He doesn’t want to work for Harley; he’s got brand loyalty to Honda. Also, being a mechanic again would be backsliding, and he is absolutely, most certainly, not backsliding. No, he just needs a sabbatical. A break from reality. Something temporary. Remote. Far from Virginia. Then he sees it: "Fire lookout."
The Course of Certain Stars by quietcoast / @sentimentalspiders rating: T | wc: 9k truly an exemplary take on adam's characterization and the existence of demons and the catholic church.
Once upon a time, Adam Parrish had not - if you’ll pardon him - given a good God damn about God or the devil. At eleven, Adam took for granted that praying did not mean an answered prayer. At twelve, he understood that devil was just another word for the man who lived in his house and shared his eye color. At thirteen, Adam realized that, actually, he was fucking wrong, that the devil was literal and maybe so was God. He knew this because one day, a demon crept into his parents’ trailer. As an adult, unmaking the rules of good and evil consumed Adam Parrish. Proving his experience was the undercurrent to everything he did. That was why it was so absolutely fucked up that when he did finally encounter a demon for the second time, he wasn’t even trying to do it.
Careful the Tale You Tell by shinealightonme rating: T | wc: 26k (4 chapters) if there's one thing I like, it's trope subversion. this had that misty, fairytale-like grimms vibe and incredible relationship development, but more notably, it managed to not be at all what I was expecting.
Ronan makes a deal with a witch. It's okay, though. He'll never have to go through with his end of the bargain.
This Is Canon To Me
a collection of short fics-turned-headcanons that you could not pry from my cold dead hands.
How To Train Your Fire-Breathing Reptile by pinkhorizon rating: T | wc: 1k if you weren't hoping for this during the end of tdt, idk what is up with you.
If you asked Adam, Ronan's latest dreamthing is absolutely not a dragon. (If you asked Ronan, it totally is.)
worship by ssstrychnine / @oneangryshot rating: T | wc: 1k do you ever remember that ronan canonically worships adam like his god. because I sure do.
ronan dreams stained glass.
oreos and peanut butter by lizpaige / @lizpaige rating: G | wc: 1k this is actually bronan in a pynch disguise, and I fully mean that in a complimentary way.
Adam shows up at Monmouth after work and Gansey is breathing into a paper bag while Blue pierces Ronan's ear with a sewing needle and an apple Parent Trap style.
Dog Days by cheeryos / @cheeeryos rating: T | wc: 1.5k I legitimately wondered about this while reading trb and was sad it never came up again.
Ronan picks up a surprise for Adam.
Unfold Me by cherishadamparrish / @cherishadamparrish rating: N/A | wc: 1k the idea of ronan pulling embarrassingly mushy things out of his dreams, especially after they have sex, is so important to me (you can also find this scenario referenced in another fic on this list, and it's great both times).
The entire bedspread was covered in a canvas of rose petals.
like a dog with a bird by charactershoes rating: G | wc: 3k so many attempts have been made at what this conversation would be like, but none have stuck with me quite as much as this one, so this is the Canon one to me.
The bruises at Ronan’s neck are fading, the pools of dark green and purple dispersing. Adam knows intimately the phases of a bruise, how the brutal press of fingers washes out dingy and yellow. Still, if he looks, he can discern where his nails bit in, where his thumbs pressed hard against Ronan’s windpipe. “I’m sorry,” he says. His hands shiver. “Don’t start,” Ronan says.
out of the dark day, into the brighter night by York / @ellipsesetcetera rating: G | wc: 4k I always wished we'd seen more of their st. agnes sleepovers and their burgeoning friendship moments.
"Blink and you'll miss it. I'm not doing this shit all night, so when it does happen, don't be fucking daydreaming and gripe about it later like some —" "I won't miss it," Adam promised. "It's not a circus act." "Ronan. I won't miss it."
Honorary Mentions
made me laugh / surprised me somehow.
i told the moon about you by broyals rating: T | wc: N/A (10 chapters) mixed media fic, told through fake social media images
ronan lynch and adam parrish grew up together on the set of the strange case of jane armstrong, and as their careers took very different paths the media couldn’t help but compare them every step of the way, creating a rivalry that wasn’t quite there. as they accidentally feed into the rumors, they must now get along publicly to dispel them, and get to know each other once again.
vanitas vanitatum, omnia (pro Adam) by JayJEx rating: T | wc: 11k in a truly unhinged post-canon universe that somehow almost feels plausible, ronan becomes instagram famous.
“You can’t really blame him,” Ronan hears Adam shifting on the other end of the call, like he’s moving into a more comfortable position. “You’re using your phone. Willingly. That’s gotta be, like, a sign of the apocalypse, or something.”
should've left my phone at home ('cause this is a disaster) by shinealightonme rating: T | wc: 4.5k the only thing you need to know is that I laughed out loud through the vast majority of this fic.
Most of the interesting customers that Adam meets are terrible interesting rather than fun interesting. The hot guy who can't keep a cell phone alive might be both.
#pynch#trc#the raven cycle#pynch fic rec#I finally did the thing!!!#let's play a fun game where I give you all these banger recs and you tell me what you learned about my taste in fic :-)#spoiler alert: when you're a seasoned reader you can usually tell within 10 secs of reading the summary and maaaaybe the first sentence#if it's a work you're going to enjoy#I am by my nature predictable in the things I like#v:text
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Not home but something familiar
#this is tasteful let me post without covering shit up tumbl#art#Idk what to call this cause it’s not clean lineart but way more than a sketch#frankly I’m sick of clean lineart and i might redo my coms for stuff like this instead idk#jimmy#curly#jimcurly#mouthwashing#curly is disgusting for him it’s probably clinical#I wanna see them together not destroyed by capitalism maybe they would have been better people not riddled with sleep deprived psychosis
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there wasn't a slice of life moment with these idiots so i took matters into my own hands... this is my modern au (kimetsu gakuen adjacent?) hence their designs.
[captions i was too lazy to add under the cut]
#null rot#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#zohakuten#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#kimetsu gakuen#kimetsu academy#!!!! ADJACENT AUS !!!!!#tried to prevent burn out and made this! honestly... it was just supposed to be lines but then i liked colors............#its nothing too perfect but it was fun!#also yes their designs are catered to my tastes specifically#i really like them as demons....... but i also reALLY LIKE MODERN AUS.............. LIKE BROOOO BROOOOOOO WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY GHOSTS?????#FUCK OFF BRO#YOU CANNOT ADD EVERYONE EXCEPT THEM. LIKE WHAT????#i think i teased the modern au in that one mitsuri post but idk if any of you caught on#ALSO YEAH THEY ALL HAVE EARRINGS EXCEPT FOR ZO. THE OTHERS WON'T LET HIM GET ANY YET#aizetsu has his covered... orz#zohakuten and aizetsu answering diligently. urogi being way too excited. karaku who doesnt answer and instead makes everything confusing#and sekido who insults then corrects everyone whether or not he's right or wrong#do you not see how they'd be so good in a modern au... please......... PLEAAAAASEE GIVE ME MY GANGSTER FAMILY#FUCKKKKKKKKKK
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I know Adrinette are in a weird phase of their relationship right now with Adrien's grief/guilt/conflicting feelings (and whatever else he has going on) and Marinette's guilt/fear/feeling of inadequacy but I hope we'll get some romantic Adrinette this season, too!!! With the Ladynoir/Adrinette dynamics apparently changing and even levelling at times, it would be interesting to see Chat Noir's romantic antics seep into Adrien's behaviour once he's feeling more secure in his relationship with Marinette. That boy has so much love to give, please let him show it 😭
#rewatching Elation this morning made me realise how much I loveeee romatic goofball Chat Noir#and I'm not operating on a meta analysis level rn. I know his understanding of romance might be warped etc etc#I just want to see him do nice things for Marinette!#Protection gave us a taste of it already#let's bring that back#(rewatching Elation also made me realise how much I miss the french dub lol please hurry up tf1)#ml#ml spoilers#(kinda? just to be safe ig lol)#ml s6#adrinette#ladynoir#ml s6 spoilers
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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