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#let me know if i should include another example! i can edit it in
blanketforcas · 1 year
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5 times they almost touched or kissed each other and one time jensen wasn't allowed
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colleendoran · 2 years
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Misunderstanding
I received a note from someone who was upset I “failed to cite Scott McCloud’s Understanding Comics” in my research for my work on Neil Gaiman's Chivalry and the essays I wrote about it. 
I really appreciate that people want to make sure credit goes where it's due, and I have a lot of respect for Scott McCloud's accomplishment with his wonderful book.  
I haven't read it myself in some years, and didn't cite it in my articles because I didn't reference it. I don't even know where my copy is so I don't know what McCloud referenced, either. 
The information in my articles re: illuminated manuscripts and the Bayeux Tapestry, as well as other theories about the development of sequential art from prehistory, not only predate McCloud's work (and in fact, predate McCloud's birth,) but they are so common and so well known in comics circles that asking me to cite them seems as weird to me as asking me to cite the information that George Washington was the first President of the United States.
A part of me wonders if someone is trying to play, "Let's you and him fight." 
No.
But I’m happy to bring to your attention some reading material.
Stephen Becker in his 1959 work Comic Art in America: A Social History of the Funnies, the Political Cartoons, Magazine Humor, Sporting Cartoons, and Animated Cartoons was among the first to discuss the Bayeux Tapestry as comic art. I read that book sometime in the 1980’s. I think a lot of people assume the Bayeux tapestry as comic art was McCloud’s idea, but we don’t all walk around with a reference library in our heads, so there you go. I can’t find my copy of Becker’s work to quote, but I did find an article by Arthur Asa Berger with a mention of the Bayeux Tapestry as comic art in the summer 1978 issue of The Wilson Quarterly.
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My first exposure to the idea of comics as descendant of fine art was Maurice Horn’s 1976 The World Encyclopedia of Comics which was my first read re: comics history. I still have my tattered 1976 edition. 
While Horn scorned the idea that tapestries and manuscripts could be comic art (see, it was a matter of discussion way back then, so much so that authors were writing snarky asides to one another about it,) he believed the origin of sequential art was in the Renaissance sketches of Leonardo da Vinci - which I think everyone now agrees is kind of a bonkers idea.
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I think Horn was just intent on elevating the comic art form by hooking up with da Vinci.
You go, boi.
Comics as descendant of art on scrolls is a very common theory, the easiest to trace being in Manga! Manga! The World of Japanese Comics by Fred Schodt published in 1983 when I was still a teenager. I can't find my copy to show examples, but this text is still in print and you can go read it for yourself. 
I was introduced to manga by cartoonist Leslie Sternbergh and bought Schodt’s book at Books Kinokuniya on (I think) a trip to New York around the time of first publication of Schodt’s work. And years later took a trip to Japan with Fred Schodt and a group of cartoonists including Jeff Smith and Jules Fieffer, Nicole Hollander, and Denys Cowan as the guests of Tezuka Productions.
Here we all are.
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So, I’m familiar with manga, see.
As for comics as descendant of cave paintings, hieroglyphics and ancient art in general, Will Eisner’s 1985 Comics and Sequential Art not only made all of those points, but made those points with comic art examples. Like these.
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And this.
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And this.
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And more than a few words on this:
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I find it amusing that someone is questioning why I didn’t cite McCloud when what you should probably be questioning is why more people don’t cite Eisner who produced his book eight years before McCloud published his and who is well known to have influenced McCloud.
Whatever. My book's autographed.
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I also danced with Eisner. Eat your heart out.
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Understanding Comics is a terrific work with huge advantages over every book (that I know of) about comics that came before: it taught comics entirely in the language of comics. 
But the discussion in it about the origins of comics and my work especially re: illuminated manuscripts/tapestries, did not originate with McCloud. I research illuminated manuscripts because it’s my hobby and it informs my art. 
I encourage everyone to read Understanding Comics because it is an outstanding work.
But it’s not the book that introduced me to the concepts of the development of comic art. It’s not even the point of origin of those concepts. So, there is no reason to cite it.
Also, shocking as it may seem, I occasionally come up with ideas on my own. While I'm younger than McCloud, I've actually been a comics pro longer than he has. So I've had plenty of opportunity to, you know, read things and toss things around, and decide for myself.
When I first read Chivalry and first begged Neil Gaiman to let me adapt it, my head full of the work of Alberto Sangorski and his art for Tennyson’s Le Morte D’Arthur, Understanding Comics hadn’t been published yet.
It's been a good twelve years since I last read McCloud's work, and I don't think I've spoken to him five times in the last three decades. But I'm pretty sure he never mentioned Sangorski.
I hope that clears everything up, and maybe introduces some of you to some works you might not be aware of.
Have a great day.
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saintarmand · 7 months
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gonna post some screenshots from a particular user in the vampterview community and the users liking their garbage posts, just in case some of you haven't heard. should become obvious why i'm highly suspicious of anyone who interacts with any of these users.
please just read the posts. sorry i'm not providing image descriptions, please dm me if you need them and i'll add them when i can!
the first post is just one example one of many on this blog, the second one might seem innocuous if you see it on your own but in combination with the others, not so much. please pay attention to the people liking these.
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then we have an anon complimenting the wisdom and maturity of this person, who then replied with several paragraphs:
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and got likes from two of the same users and two others.
then they self reblogged one of the posts from earlier and continued:
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obviously this last post is the most egregious, and not everyone is bold enough to press like knowing that likes are public and could affect their reputation in the fandom. but i am going to assume that the people liking the other posts, which weren't all in public tags, are this person's followers and have seen all the other posts and believe this kinda shit is acceptable. and that speaks volumes about them as people.
i'm personally not going to assume that everyone who's ever liked or reblogged from any of these users did it knowing what kind of people they are (i didn't always know that either, and have probably reblogged from at least one of them before i did) but i am highly suspicious of anyone reblogging from them or interacting with them in a friendly way, and if i see people i follow doing that, i am going to unfollow unless i have very good reason to believe they genuinely had no idea, in which case i will message first.
i hope none of my followers need me to actually explain why what they're saying is absolute garbage but if you genuinely don't get the problem, dm me and i can find you some links about racism 101 i guess
EDIT/UPDATE:
someone asks nalyra what's going on
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she later adds this, linking to a post that links back to this very post you're reading right now
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track you UNliking something? GIRL WHY DID YOU LIKE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?
i do love how if you read this and don't bother clicking the link she sounds kind of reasonable, and even like she's taking accountability (she's not denying anything! she's linking to a source so people can judge for themselves!) just not SO much accountability that she'll actually say what she did. gotta click those links to find out, and let's face it, the majority of the people who see her post are simply going to assume she's being unfairly targeted again. i mean, she posts about it all the time! why bother even checking, it's not like she would ever link to, say, screenshots of her liking a post that says affirmative action is the only system of oppression based on race and anti-white racism is real
EDIT #2:
another screenshot i forgot to include from the same day of nalyra liking another untagged post from cosmic
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#s
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thatdeadaquarius · 2 years
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Was reading thru ur answered asks again (also hey lol i CAME BACK--) and like. Oh my god. It gave me The Most Idea.
So you get isekaied to Teyvat right? They hear your og language, they revere every single worf from your mouth, yadda yadda yadda. But like. How does SLANG AND THE OTHER ASPECTS OF UR OG LANGUAGE translate. I am having VERY heavy flashbacks to Pokemons "jelly filled donuts".
So like-- for example: (this is the first one that came to my head dont judge me i am tumblr trash) (lets also assume that traveler has perfect understanding of ur language and slang and all the nuances of it)
Lets say you and the traveler were hanging out with some of the Vision holders, and the traveler had some shenanigans and pranks or something planned. After they pull their shit, you say "i hate you so much (affectionate)". Which kind of throws the Vessels in for a loop because like-- their god literally just said they HATED someone. And hate is a PRETTY STRONG WORD. So they should DEFINITELY strike them down for catching their gods ire but-- AFFECTIONATE????? how does one hate someone affectionately???????? Does this mean their god hates the traveler but decided to recind their hate last second? Is it some form of Divine and Holy emotion that cannot be described by the mere words of their language????
Meanwhile youre just there vibin and having a blast with the traveler while you casually give them a philosophical crisis AHAHAHA
Another example is shortened words-- because i know teyvat doesnt have shit like "ily" or "omg" or "lmao" or "fyi" or "brb". Because honestly, without the cultural knowledge and background of the internet, these sets of letters are just fucking GIBBERISH.
And i know that like-- i know enough internet slang abbreviations that i can literally just talk in jumbles of letters, so how in the WORLD would the vessels interpret that? Because its very clear that their god is just using the letters of their language, HELL they might even use Teyvatian letters so what in the world are they saying????
So theyd just hear a convo between the traveler and reader thats like:
Reader: traveler, i gtg asap; tldr i forgot some stuff back in the cr brb
Traveler: wait fr?
Reader: yeah fr
Traveler: lol f
Reader: (sighs) ffs man-- anyways brb for real
Traveler: cya
And the vessels are just watching the exchange like "huh?? What????? What just happened here??????" And theyre just wondering if they used teyvatian to talk in the "divine language of the gods" but nah-- yall are just dickin around AHAHA
Hey, so it came to my attention some of this was AAVE, and while i am southern so things like "ya'll" got included w/o me thinking - thats not an excuse for me to use this as a white person.
so if you wouldnt mind letting me please know if i do this as we talk abt language more and more - i do not want to repeat shit like this again.
I'm genuinely sorry to any black readers out there.
I've personally seen and cringed with you when I see imagines/reader things that assume a white person as default,
All I can do in ur eyes is promise that I am actively putting a stop to my ignorance of things like AAVE, and ask for forgiveness (which you arent obligated to give, never feel that way).
So with that in mind, read the ask below with caution, although it has since been edited.
____
ITS YOU!! >:D
A treat for ur ask my liege 🤲🍪✨️
I think u were literally the first asker after my first SAGAU/Isekai language brainrot post!! Omg u came back with a banger LMAO
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What in the public menace is this...
(Gif is traveler and u pranking bitches)
Traveler knowing our world + language + SLANG?? INTERNET?? is SUCH A CONCEPT
So much room for inside jokes
I absolutely love the first one u said about phrases these days/gen z ig? slang
Its like so dramatic now that i think about it
Hate / love / dead / die / just straight up threats towards ur friends as affection or if theyre annoying u 😭
So many explicitives that make it hit harder too "go fucking die, my love <3"
^^^Or yeah like contradictions lol
I think it was @nexylaza (srry abt the tag!) who replied to one of my earlier asks about blunt language how that might sound like to Teyvatians like ur emotions sound more extreme than what u actually feeling (which makes sense ur literally using hate = mildly dislike LMAO)
Same situation here like what u said ^^^
(Ok i did lovely Aether awhile back so we'll go w/ Lumine this time! <3 u Aether!!)
.
*idk at an event/party for your arrival or something, and ya hungry fucks r hoarding the buffet table lol 🍻
.
You: "Shut the fuck up Lumine-"
Lumine: "Why r u pouring ur drink like ur in a earthquake lmao? Shaky hands lol"
.
*The immediate area of people around you go dead silent
*Lumine laughs
💀💀!!
.
Lumine: "Your gonna miss our cups LMAO"
You: "Bitch!" (u grinnin too lol)
.
*the whole rooms now quiet 😭
.
Lumine: "Don't spill- 🤣"
You: "I fucking hate you u whore <3"
(And u give the most genuine like abt to laugh smile🥰 )
.
*...a confused and kinda scared tension fills the room lol
*So poor Noelle, is like, oh. my. god. Creator is that upset with Lumine?? I must try to see what happened, how I can help! I dont remember Lumine doing anything bad to them! Shes wonderful y u do this to her 🥲
.
Noelle: "Uh, um, e-excuse me? Is every-everything al-alright, Y-y-your Majesty?"
You: "Huh? Yeah why??"
Noelle: "...w-well..."
UR FACE LIKE "😗?" LMFAO
.
*The room is staring at Lumine, in a mix of like shock, fear, and a little admiration for taking ur hate?? mood swing??? so well,,
theyre just waiting on Noelle to get an answer from you as to why you hate someone u seemed to care so much about, esp since they were ur first vessel 💀
look what you did their poor hearts u gonna give them a heart attack soon
.
Noelle: "A-a-a-a-are y-y-you s-sure??"
SHE IS SWEATIN
You: "🤨🤨??"
.
*Lumine finally notices why theyre all quiet and kinda concerned looking, bc u sure as hell wouldnt 😭 (i mean it is normal speech for u)
.
And Lumine's like: "No Noelle we're all good! It's just how Your Grace's home world, er, speaks for slang? Its overexagerated purposely dont worry love"
...
...
*Im sure they dont all believe her (or even you if u tell them 😭) and are just like,, REALLY NERVOUS CHUCKLING WHILE LIKE SWEATING-
And it takes a good like 10 minutes for the conversations to start getting back to their volume again, and they all still are looking over their shoulder checking on you guys 😰
.
(U did pour drinks w/o spillin tho🍻)
THE TEXTING SLANNGGG
Ok, but u and Lumine would fucking write letters to people, and being the little shits pranksters u are,
(Bc u kno Teyvat dont got nothing else bc we're in the medival ages, besides having cameras- 🙄 )
And u guys r constantly-
"oh yes yes, that sounds all well and good Keqing, please inform the Qixing that I'll be there ASAP"
AND THEN-
"oh haha, silly me, i forgot that only Lumine/you get that stuff, sorryyyy 😋!!!"
SOME PUBLIC MENACES LMFAO PLEASE
.
And it just spreads to ALLLL the official documents u write or literally any letters sent to anybody-
And everyone else is feeling like the friend that got sacrificed to walk in the grass instead of the sidewalk 💀💀
While also being like "??¿?¿??? 🥲🥲😀😀???"
Is this ancient code?? Why does Lumine get to know it??
Why dont the like??? really old deities understand it??!!
But then nerds like Tighnari, Albedo, Alhaitham, Zhongli, Sucrose, Ayaka, Kokomi, Xingqiu, Childe, Yanfei, Shenhe, Kazhua, Sara, Ayato, Heizou, Cyno, Kaeya
Try to "solve" the letters or slang, poor things and not a single one of them gets it (y did u do this to them lmao)
(God i finally looked at a character list so i wouldnt leave anyone out, but theres so many of these fucks by now help)
^^^But all these ppl try to solve it in different ways/for different reasons that im too lazy to type out individually, u can see it right??
Some see this as an ancient scholarly code thing, some of them think of it like a rlly hard puzzle, and some just rlly want to put the mental effort into knowing/not being left out 😭😭
.
And if anybody happens to see some letter exchanges w/ Lumine or like any written responses, you do not. stop. using. text slang. back to back.
(Like what u put in the ask💀)
And its so miserable for those characters mentioned especially, bc they look like scrambled letters 😭
.
Honestly them seeing u two talk to each other via letters just proves that the letters even mean anything at all to them, bc how did u understand each other, otherwise???!!
.
(No one would ever realize u guys were fucking around unless u told them 💀)
✨️Sorry✨️this✨️isnt✨️that✨️great✨️i✨️just✨️wanted✨️ to✨️ expand✨️ on✨️ what ✨️u ✨️already ✨️had ✨️nothing ✨️new✨️ 🧚🏽‍♀️🧚🏽‍♀️
I felt feral and out of it when i wrote this, i literally dont remember a single word i typed on that bullet list..
SO i still have asks/requests im gonna answer but i will be posting my follower event poll!! CLICK ME :) ♡
Yall get to choose what i write about for some posts :D
(You can be a new follower!)
✨️
BTW
UR SO BIG BRAIN SMART 2ND RANDOM U EVEN THOUGHT ABT TEYVATIAN LETTERS GETTING INCLUDED ADHJSLALASLL
WHAT A GENIUS
I hope my shit writing was somewhat ok of a reply to read to pay u back for that great idea lol
Cheers,
🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
♡the beloveds
@karmawonders
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rowanwritestoomuch · 11 days
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A Lesson on ConCrit -- how to give & recieve
Criticism is often something we all abhor, but in our artwork of writing, we need to understand how to recieve information about editting and how to give it, because we will not succeed without it.
There is no world in which writing is not a collaborative effort-- unless you never share it, in which case, this post is not for you. Keep on doing what you're doing you funky fresh individual. But for the rest of us with a praise kink, this is an ineffeible truth.
So how do we give *constructive* criticism in writing?
We remain focused on improvement.
Never give criticism to harm, never with malicious intent, never to degrade or belittle. Never. Do. This. If you did not like a work but it has skillful merit, it uses grammar properly, it has structure and themeology, it is OKAY to simply accept 'I did not like this' and move on. But if you have something useful to say, something productive for the writer, something genuinely meant in kindness and to improve, it is important to always keep in mind the 'when this, then that' method.
For example; "When [X character] confessed to his lover, it was the cutest thing I've ever seen, but then [Y character] had very little reaction, and it took me out of the scenes where their greater romance was developed. I would suggest when [Y character] is confronted with this information, perhaps we should include some more emotional beats and actions, like describing their expressions or what they think, to make sure the reader stays engaged. Thank you for posting this, I'm enjoying it!" In this bit of criticism, we have kept a constructive approach in mind. We have addressed that 'when this' happened, it made us feel good, but when we found something we thought needed improvement, 'then that' was discussed. We engaged with the artist in a way that did not degrade them but also did not demand that they take our advice, by framing our suggestions in a way that remembers inherent storytelling aspects, like emotions and actions, and we gave positive but not specific suggestions on how to improve those actions, without injecting our own bias into the artist's work.
This is the meat of constructive criticism. We do not want to put each other down. We do not want to taint another's art with our own voice. We want to focus on improvement and respect someone's vulnerability in sharing their work.
Another example; "I noticed that in this scene, I got really lost when [X & Y] were talking because you used a lot of pronouns and not very many proper nouns. In Chapter 3, you had a scene with [X, Y, Z & Q] and it was really engaging for me, I didn't mind the use of proper nouns because I was able to easily keep track of who was talking when. I think it would help both of us follow along better when the characters' names are used more. Really great work, I'm loving the banter between the two." In this example, we point out an error in the execution of the work, a literary thing such as forgotten proper nouns that pull the reader from the scene. In order to encourage the writer, we made sure to include an example of when they did well to remind them how they did well and encouraged them to improve this scene in the same manner as the previously well executed one. We remembered to let them know that we did enjoy the scene, we just got a little lost, and we collaborated with them on how it would help us, the reader, and them, the writer, follow along better. This same kind of concrit can be used for any literary skill mistake, or instead you could simply say "Would you like some help editting your work?" and collaborate with the artist even further. Grammar errors, spelling mistakes, structure issues, use of words and nouns, you can help with those things without placing any blame or anxiety on the writer, and many would love to have several hands edit their work before they do their final drafting. It is important to remember always that our engagement with an artist is a sensitive subject, and we will not gain more art from this person (content, if you will) if we continuosly demand, degrade, disgrace and disregard the feelings of the creators. Respect has to be given and recieved like a gift, and the gift in our metaphor is writing.
Things that you should not comment on; characters you just didn't like--- you can just not like something, the artist doesn't have to change it for you to enjoy, move on. Plot directions or twists that just weren't your flavor--- not every piece has to fit into your ideal of a trope. Only speak on these things when the plot is completely contrived or needs re-structuring to really hit the point it's trying to make. If you just didn't like where the story went, well, it's not for you. It doesn't mean its bad. Understand how to have a discerning eye for the difference between execution and expression. Stylistic choices that just don't hit with you, like purposefully lowercased words, the changing or reformatting of words into new ones, different dialogue types and tags--- these are things the author did on purpose. You do not tell a painter you did not like the use of orange in their sunflower painting, you just move on. That was a choice, not a mistake or a lesson that needs to be learned, and not everyone has to use words the way you do. Focus on being helpful, not being biased. Art is subjective and exists both in the eyes of the artist and the viewer, it is not supposed to be monotypical. To give criticism, one must also be able to recieve it.
It can be hard for someone to comment on our work with something that suggests we made a mis-step. We must always consider what it is that we have to glean from this new information when it strikes us anxious, instead of becoming mired in our own ego. If a reader has something to say about the improvement of your work, it is not a law, they will not abandon you if you do not heed them, and if they do, another one will most likely enjoy the place you decided to remain. Criticism is a very 'take it or leave it or do something with it'. You can hear the reader out when they say that the interactions between characters fell flat for them, but if it was your intention to display the character as apathetic, uninterested, uninvested, distracted or depressed, maybe then the reader just did not pick up what you were putting down. You could change your work because of this, or you could leave it the same and the next reader, or the many silent readers aside, will most likely feel differently. When someone has a suggestion on the changing of grammar, consider--- is it hard to read? I should probably change this, I'm *glad* they pointed it out. We sometimes write with blinders on, it is not an insult for someone to turn our head and make us look in another direction. It is not an insult for someone to suggest we need improvement, especially when they give examples as to how to help. It is not an insult to share our work and accept that not everyone will like it, and that we can take their advice both with grace and with self-respect. Listen to your readers, listen to your heart, and collaborate with the two.
And always, always remember, write because it hurts if you don't.
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writersundersiege · 7 months
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The New Girl in Town Pt 6
Rafe Cameron x F! Reader
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A/n: This one is another long one, and it took me so freaking long to edit, and honestly, I don’t know how I feel about this chapter. I will let you all be the judge. Should I keep doing this one this way or just do it based on whatever comes to mind?
The New Girl in Town - Masterlist
Summary: When Rafe comes to your rescue at the boneyard, what happens when things develop with him rapidly? But maybe things aren’t what you thought initially. Are the people of Outerbanks right about the boy you’re starting to feel so much care for?
MDNI 18+
Warnings: Storms, grief, death, insinuation of sexual themes, violence, weapons, swearing, drug use, and drug abuse, as well as some slight talks of addiction. Sexual themes: unprotected sex, smut, slight aftercare, soft! Rafe
That night, from two separate spots on the same property, two people couldn’t sleep comfortably.
You laid on the Druther’s, soft volume playing on Netflix from Sarah’s laptop; you could feel the waves slowly rock the boat, the double door slightly open, letting in the biting sea breezes that floated through the night while you sat and stared out the window of the ship that looks towards Tannyhill.
Sarah's sleeping frame on the couch across from yours. rises slowly up and down from breathing.
Looking back towards the vast house, you notice one dim light is on and immediately recognize it as the room one door down from Sarah, Rafe's room.
Earlier, he nearly slammed the door so hard to his room it shook the whole wall that connected his room to his sisters, and then a giant storm cloud of doubt swarms you.
From the second you stepped foot on the island, you’d heard about a boy named Rafe who was troubled and unbalanced. The first thing you heard about him was right before you met him while moving in.
The moving caravan stopped at a hardware store; you were buying a drink while your dad needed razors for the box cutters your mom had newly ordered to unpack.
You entered the smaller store, smelling of freshly cut wood and slight hits of cleaning oils, soft elevator-type music played.
Other than your father and you, there were workers, including a few boys your age and an older man standing at the register, but they were the only occupants of the store.
As you were browsing the refrigerator section, trying to decide what to get. Faintly, you could hear two boys in the other aisle talking, and they seemed rather upset.
Trying your best to mind your business, you round the corner, making your way towards the register where you can already make out your dad’s smiling face, leaning on the counter and looking back towards you.
In the last moments, you catch the boy stocking shelves, his messy brown hair falling in his eyes, saying, “Then after all that bullshit, dude, I go looking for her only to find her right underneath Rafe fucking Cameron.”
The redheaded boy, who sits on the floor, stocking shelves, listening to the boy next to him, shaking his head while continuing stacking, says, “is how it is out here, always has been, man. That isn’t the first girlfriend you’ll have stolen right from under your nose, nor will it be the last. Kooks take what they want.”
This makes you stop and step back, looking down at what appears to be outlet covers. Still, too enveloped in the things you don’t know but are curious about, you pretend to pick them up and be reading the back but listening to the boys.
Your dad stands at the front counter, watching you for a moment, frowning as you look at the light switch covers but shrugs, walking to a display shelf they had set up for electric hand tools that weren’t far from the front.
“Cameron and all the snobby rich kids on this island get what they want not because they deserve it but because they're crazy, and Rafe, man, I mean, he’s ruthless; he’s borderline psychotic, nah not borderline, he is psychotic I mean there are so my examples…”
He begins to trail off but immediately starts again: “One time, I watched him beat the hell out of a dude at a party who touched his truck by accident, mind you; the man was smiling back blood in his teeth, taunting the kid who wasn’t even fully conscious anymore till people pulled him off. I’ll never forget that, and the kid still has a huge scar on the side of his head from the fight.”
The messy-haired boy had been intensely listening the entire time, just like you so much, so you think it’s time to stop being intrusive and be on your way, considering not only are you eavesdropping, but you’re taking part in gossip that could be entirely subjective you don’t know any of these people and it’s best not to make a prior illusion of someone you’ve yet to meet.
The last thing you hear as you leave the aisle back turned but recognize it to be the brown-haired boy's voice saying, “It sucks. I thought she liked me; Cameron has everything: the perfect family, house, and life; no wonder she doesn’t want someone like me when someone like him even offers. I’m just some kid who grew up on The Cut, so whatever, I guess, keep moving forward, right?” the red-haired boy pats his back, saying, “Don’t worry, bro, we got you Pogues for Life.”
Eventually, you reach the register, quickly pay, and hurry out the doors; your dad catches up behind you, pointing back and saying, “You find a looker in there cause if you did and you're too shy, I could—“
You cut him off with a rupture of laughter that leaves him wide-eyed, saying, “No, please, we all saw your wingman capabilities were subpar at best a few months ago; ring a bell, cute waiter on the royal Caribbean cruise we took for Mom's birthday.”
Your dad stops walking with you, turning to face you, becoming mock-offended, throwing his hand to his chest. “You smite me (F/N). That was one slip-up, and frankly, don’t blame me for the strawberry daiquiris; they did all the talking that night.”
You shake your head, giving him a skeptical look. “I don’t remember a glass of Strawberry and Rum saying to a fully grown man. Who was working; may I remind you. that if he didn’t already have a girlfriend and wanted a good one or just wanted a new one…I was single, and then leaving my freaking phone number on a napkin, nope, pretty sure it was you.”
You end poking him in the chest with a small laugh and kind eyes because it is a story to laugh about; he gives you a defeated look while pushing you both to walk back slowly. You don’t notice till halfway there your dad is relatively still, and his defeated look turns to regret or sorrow; “Dad.”
Right as you make it back to the caravan, your father looks up, eyes wide; he gently grabs your face, cupping your cheeks in his hands and placing a kiss on top of your head before pulling you in a vast Charlie-style bear hug, swinging you back and forth squeezing till you felt you couldn’t breathe but you laugh a hearty laugh.
Moments like these remind you of being a little girl and playing with your dad on the beach, collecting shells, and splashing and running along the water line. These moments made you feel free.
He sets you gently on the ground, saying as he’s hugging you, “This time is gonna be different, Peanut, I promise.” You hug him tighter, not precisely sure what he’s talking about, but getting an idea from the look of sorrow you saw shadow his face. You break apart, smiling at him and hopping in the car, driving to your new home.
And that’s when you finally saw him in the flesh; at first, you didn’t know who he was, but out of the group at Topper's playing basketball, he’s the one that immediately caught your eye.
When you saw him, you knew from that second he was not only gorgeous but so dangerous. he was playing ball with the boys, moderately sweaty but nowhere compared to the other two, who were nearly drenched, which showed his athleticism; he had hard lines in his eyebrows almost seeming to have a permanent frown on his face.
His hair, which was so sandy and dirty blond, reminded you of the beaches back home and their mix of yellow and brown sparkling slightly when the sun would glint on it, and it hung right in his eyes, causing him to have to move it out of his face.
When he finally took attention to your arrival, you knew he was looking; you could feel his piercing gaze laid on you like an ice cub was being set right on the back of your neck, but you always knew when all of them were looking wherever you went, you could feel them, but when you had Luca, that feeling didn’t matter. Then he’d gone missing, and he’s still lost.
Luca had been gone so long now with nothing but his necklace and a note; he was the one who made you grounded, but now you want to live cause what if you go missing tomorrow? Wouldn't you like to say you lived extraordinarily? Would you like to say you loved it greatly? that you had fought valiantly? 
Eventually, hearing a knock on the door, you opened it for the boys. You intentionally didn’t turn down your music, and watching them react to you was humorous but endearing.
Specifically, you watched Rafe and how his muscles flexed and unflexed under his shirt and his hair falling right in his eyes, making you want to walk over and push it out of the way for him. When you finally meet with his eyes, he asks you a question, and you smirk, seeing how much his eyes remind you of the sea, its depths, and darkness swirling around with the orbs of his irises.
You have never believed in love at first sight; it was an act of cinematic thrill, but you’d never really seen it or experienced it. Luca wasn’t your love at first sight. You had known and loved Luca your whole life, but you were eight years old when you knew you were in love with Luca, and from that day on, you loved him, and you loved him entirely.
He was your twin flame or soulmate in whatever sense it is. He helped to complete a part of you, but now, with him gone. You are changing and growing; what do you do when you’re sitting across from a man who’s standing and looking into you already like you hung the sun and the stars and for a reason unknown, you like it, you enjoy him, how he carries himself, the charm, the mystery, the coldness. Then, he also seems to show you the sincerity, gentleness, and fondness he has in him that he saves for unique events.
In a moment, you know one thing, and it is Rafe Cameron. He is going to be the death of you; from the moment he sat the dresser down in the room and looked around, softly taking in your space, you knew he was not what they say he is, whatever they make him out to be, it’s not truly him.
You’re going to understand who he truly is, and you have the same thoughts repeatedly as he jumps in for the clothes drives, goes on a drive with your dad, not losing it for you having to help Diana the other day and tonight picking you up from the Boneyard.
Rafe Cameron may be slightly self-absorbed and moody, but he cares much more than he can say or physically show.
As you come to from your thoughts, you realize you’ve been aimlessly staring at the ceiling of the boat at some point while being engrossed by the idea of a man you have yet to learn more about.
One last time, you glance at the windows, swearing to see the curtains slowly swaying as if someone had just walked away, and the light suddenly went out; with that, you turn your back to the window and fall asleep, letting the waves cradle you softly in your dreams.
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In the room now creeping with darkness, Rafe lies in his bed, staring at the door. He had been pacing his floors since he came back in from all the thinking of almost kissing you.
He was right there, and just like everything, Sarah had to get her nose right in it. He thinks back to earlier in the day when his sister had also tried to pull shit with him in front of you about Emma, which was a low blow, considering how many times Rafe has covered for her.
At one point, Rafe looked out to the boat, anchored at the end of their dock, looking to see if he saw any remnants of you sitting on the bow, looking out at the waves that are currently sparkling silver, with the light of the moon, beaming down onto it. 
When Rafe sees nothing but darkness, the pushing and pulling of the waves, and the boat rocking next to the dock, he walks away from the window, lies down and shuts off the light.
Still thinking about you, in many ways, especially how you felt pressed so close to his body, the warmth you emitted on the ride back to Tannyhill making him feel like he was wrapped in a blanket, his thoughts get muddled between his perverse and benevolent thoughts. Still, one’s he’s not willing to tell you just yet.
Rafe doesn’t sleep the rest of the night; he sees you every time he closes his eyes, which in turn makes his heart and mind pulse rapidly, causing Rafe to toss and turn all night, getting no sleep.
He finally succumbs to sleep after he sees the beginning of the orange and pink shades of the sunrise gleaming through his window, putting a smile on his face, comforting him enough to fall asleep thinking about the way you looked when you blushed at him, calling you beautiful.
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The next day, you stayed for brunch with the Cameron family, minus Rafe; he didn’t show up, and nobody was sure where he was, considering his door was closed and no one saw him. They asked Sarah to knock, and she returned, saying, “He’s still sleeping, I think.”
It was lovely getting to know your new friend and her family and learning about their dynamic.
Everyone sat laughing and talking when Sarah kicked your foot under the table, making you look up to her; she nodded towards the Druthers. You see a boy who’s jumping onto the boat; you shake your head, indicating you’ll cover for her as she slowly gets up, saying Excuse me quietly and making her way to the dock and down on the boat; no one pays mind to her leaving though you can faintly see her before suddenly Ward says to you.
“So (F/N) what made your family move from California to the Outerbanks?” you look up at nearly the whole family looking at you anticipatory; you clear your throat and take a sip of water. The easy answer is your dad’s surfing business wanting to expand.
The honest answer was a lot; though you never wanted to be home, it seems like you could never leave home; it was never-ending the cycle of you feeling Luca. Whenever you took a step out the door, you’d start to sob and turn right back around and go in again. Since coming to the Outerbanks, you’ve been out more than you have in the year since you got the call: “There was a storm. Luca and Cameron, they can’t find them, but they will”
That sentence rings through your head, making you feel like spiders are crawling in your stomach and creeping up to create intricate webs on your bones.
You smile the best you can, noticing Sarah walking back to the table, looking somewhat frustrated with her conversation, simply replying, “It was time for a change, and Dad wanted to expand.” before you can say anything.
Sarah plops down as if nothing happened and says, “Sorry, I forgot this on the boat. What did I miss?” she smiles and holds up her phone even though Sarah has had her phone the whole time looking at you before you can say anything Ward says “Just getting to know (F/N)” he smiles at you.
“What does your mother do again?” you go to answer, but Sarah says, “C’mon, Dad, let the girl eat!” he chuckles, and you say, “It’s alright, she’s a history teacher.”
You check your phone and see your reminder going off. “I’m so sorry to be so rude, but I just realized my mother needs me to help her today, so I have to go,” Sarah smirks at you, knowing exactly where you are off to
You exchange pleasantries, secretly reminding Sarah to text you later about the boat. She vehemently shakes her head, and you’re rushing through Tannyhill, bag in hand when suddenly, you run straight into a firm, broad chest.
Long, strong arms immediately wrapped around your waist to protect you from falling on your butt. The fresh woody and citrus notes seem to encircle your mind and body, and immediately after that, you go from tense to relaxed, your head resting with your ear against the chest of the person and your heart thumping rapidly. You smile, closing your eyes and saying, “Rafe.”
Rafe's arms tense around you, and you hear him huff out a breath, looking up into his cosmically blue irises; he’s already looking down with a slight smirk when he says, “What’s got you in such a rush, Angel?” his husky voice dancing through your ears.
Rafe is shocked to see that you’re still here, and he’s even more shocked you’re still allowing him to hold you in his arms like this.
Last night, the fact that you ran away with Sarah so fast when you almost kissed made him think you didn’t mean any of it and maybe you’d gotten drunk at that kegger.
Now, though, as he looks down, you rest your chin on his chest, looking up at him; you look so small to him, saying in your discernible melodic voice
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you. I’m off to help my parents.” Rafe grunts out a croaky sounding “Where sweetheart?” and hearing how he said it made you start to word vomit everything you can think on the spot.
“Dad wants to make new advertisements and asked me to accompany the ambassadors today for a photoshoot. I have an eye for that, at least by Charlie’s standards. Also, since it’s about being here and he wants me to take over eventually, I’m supposed to be in the commercialization like how dad used to, and I’m just nervous.” you giggle slightly, realizing if you kept babbling; he’d stand, and hold you while you did.
Noticing this, you went to step back, but his hand didn’t leave your waist. Your hands dropped to his, laying them gently over his hands.
You both look back and forth at each other for a moment, searching the other's eyes, not knowing what to do or what move to make. Rafe had the urge to drag you up the stairs to his room, throw you down on his bed, and kiss you on every expanse of skin exposed to the eyes he had roaming you.
You feel the look he gives you like an apex predator hunting small game, waiting for the moment it turns its head to check in the other direction before it pounces; in the few seconds you stand there, you can feel the way his fingertips dig into your side like he’s afraid you’ll vanish before him for some reason that feeling makes you pull towards him.
Both of you feel the pull between you like an invisible string slowly yanking until it creates the perfected knots; your faces are even closer, then you can feel his hot breath fanning across your cheeks
Rafe gives it one nudge, pulling your body closer so both of your chests meet, eyes still locked; he could feel every curve and angle of your body pressing perfectly against him; it left his skin tingling all over his body, touching you like this.
He also could feel how warm you were, like you’d been laying out in the sun tanning on the hottest day of summer, but it made the blood that usually runs cold with anticipation get warmer. He leaned down just a bit to ghost his lips over yours.
In the lightest voice he could muster, he asks, “Would you like an escort to this event, ma’am?” he watches the corners of your lips curl, making his stomach twist and turn and a smile creep on his face.
You say, lips almost brushing his back. “I can protect myself this time, big guy, but I appreciate the offer.” Before Rafe can register what you’re thinking, you’re leaning into his lips, placing such a chaste peck it left his lips feeling like hot coals had burned them.
The next thing he knows, he hears your melodic laughter bouncing off the walls as you skip towards his door and smile from ear to ear, just like the day you met. Rafe couldn��t move, shocked not only that you had already kissed him but also that he didn’t react to it.
He watched your back, knowing it was in your nature to vanish. The best part about you is that you bring all of this joy wherever you go, and when you’re gone, you take it with you, but the aftershock of your nature leaves ripples like waves in the ocean, which seems to be the constant reminder of you to Rafe.
Your (H/C) hair bounces from side to side, wisps flying backward toward him, almost calling him to follow where your footsteps take him.
Once you make it to the front door with it slightly ajar, the sun creating a halo, you look over your shoulder to Rafe, saying, “See you around, Reef.” you are out the door before he can respond.
Rafe takes a minute to readjust himself and rewind what just happened in his mind because he, for the first time in his life, doesn’t know what to do with you.
It seems like when you’re around, his mind appears to shut down while also going into overdrive. After a few minutes of contemplating, he turns to walk outside to his family and is met face to face with Sarah, who’s looking at him disgusted.
Immediately, Rafe looks at her with a scowl, saying, “Why are you looking at me like that?” Sarah scoffs at him and walks right past, saying nothing and stomping her way up the stairs.
This entire show of emotion makes Rafe roll his eyes, yelling at her up the stairwell, “Drop the fucking attitude, Sarah. You don’t need to be so god damn difficult always; speak, stop acting like a child.” with this, he hears her door slam shut making him stomp his way to the kitchen huffing about her ruining everything for him.
On the walls outside Tannyhill, after taking a leap of faith and kissing Rafe, you sat in your Jeep outside the home, looking up at the vast white building and thinking everything anyone says about him is wrong; he’s just a boy who wants to be loved.
Whenever you do something and turn back to see if he’s looking, his eyes never seem to leave. When you call, he comes. He is always saying what you feel you need to hear. These thought makes you giddy and send you to The Hut to meet your parents, feeling like you’re on a cloud, gracing your face with a brilliant smile and a new rhythm in your heart.
————————————————————————
The next day, Sarah and Rose came over to invite you and your mother to go and sit with The Mason family later that morning, and you both gladly obliged.
They were a kind, small family of just Mr. and Mrs. Mason; they also had a sweet little girl who was only six years old; her name was Ellie; when the mothers were talking, you and Sarah were sitting on the porch steps looking around at the damage Hurricane Agatha created neither of you talking just observing the surroundings every once and awhile Sarah would text presumably Topper on her phone.
At some point, Ellie comes up to you, tugging on your pants to get you to look down, and she asked you if you would walk around the yard with her; you looked to her mother, and she shook her head, waving her hand and saying it was fine so you kneeled next to the girl smiling holding her by the shoulders saying “I would love to go on a walk with you” she looks at you wide-eyed and whispering, “Do you think Sarah will come to?”
Sarah picked up her head, hearing this on the spot. She looked like she was in a world of her own before. Her eyes are soft but show such care as she says, “I would love to join your walk.” she puts her hand out for Ellie, and you all walk down the porch and around the yard, talking about princesses, her Barbie’s village, and her Elephant that’s been missing since the storm.
At some point, you’re sitting on the dock while Sarah and Ellie walk back and forth down it, and you see three figures emerge from the side of the house; two of the boys wave towards the mothers sitting on the porch, and one stands with a drink and sunglasses staring right at the dock which is so obviously Rafe.
You look away, somewhat nervous seeing him after the kiss; when you glance away, you spot what looks like a stuffed animal under wires and grass.
In a moment, you stand calling Sarah and Ellie, pointing and asking, “Did you take your elephant in that boat?” she shakes her head vehemently. This makes Sarah kneel, asking about her stuffed animal and then saying she’ll get it.
“Sarah, are you sure we don’t know if those wires are live?” she smiles and laughs, waving you off. “It’s fine (F/N). I doubt it, but I can be careful.” She starts to climb onto the plank, and you kneel, taking Ellie and wrapping your arm around her shoulder, taking a step back from the dock, rubbing the side of her shoulder gently.
Rafe talks with Topper and Kelce, eyes tracing from his sister being stupid to you. He can’t help but smirk and sip his drink, thinking about how good you look, being caring and especially caring towards a child. You seem to be protecting the little girl, which makes Rafe smirk deeper into his drink.
At this point, all the moms are yelling, and Rose has come down trying to coax Sarah. Then none, to Rafe's surprise, Sarah pretends to be shocked, which makes everyone except Rafe and you panic.
Topper yells, rushing forward, and the moms gasp; you have the little girl tight in your arm, eyes wide in shock, and Ellie screams, “Sarah!” starting to cry; you pull her head to your neck, gently shushing her, saying, “No, no, she’s okay, it’s okay,” he can hear the slight quiver your voice makes which makes him roll his eyes scowling at Sarah knowing she’s doing this purposefully.
Your head pops up at the sound of Sarah laughing. Like little Ellie in your arms, your horrified faces turn to small smirks at the show Sarah put on. He takes one more look at you, waiting to see if maybe you'd look back, but you don’t, so he turns to head to Tannyhill.
After all of this, your mother calls your name, holding her phone and shaking it, “(F/N) Crush Waves, we gotta go.” your eyes go wide, remembering that you’re meant to be going to promote at the Charleston convention center they were putting on a Surf and Water sports event your dad wanted to go and set up a booth for some networking of the new branch of The Hut.
Once Sarah is back by Ellie, you rush off, but not before you look back to where Rafe was standing before, seeing him disappearing around the corner, frowning but continuing your pace off and out with your mom.
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Sarah🎀🦋: Want to come to the church's beach cleanup? Save the sea animals and get sand between your toes. Plus, your lead singer is going 😏
You wake up the following day to this text from Sarah, making you laugh and immediately messaging back.
(F/N)🗺️🌏: Sure, you can always use a little sand and some Kelce in your life.
You immediately get ready wearing shorts and a cropped shirt that says St. Jeffersons Athletics, which used to be your brother's years ago. You brush your hair and teeth, throw on some mascara, walk over to Topper's house, and knock.
The door is swung open, and you are met face to face with Topper's mother smiling “(F/N). What a pleasure to see you; what brings you here?” You go to speak, but you see Topper's head pop up from behind his mom, saying, “Hey (F/N), come in, Mom, she’s coming to the church to clean up with us.” she moves, and you walk through the door.
Topper takes you up the stairs to his room; you walk in to see Kelce lounging back, playing video games; when his head turns and sees you, he jumps up, walks over to you, and wraps an arm around you. “how are you, girl?” you smile hugging tightly back before you both step back while letting go saying “Pretty good going as usual” you all make friendly conversation for a few minutes before heading off to the beach.
Topper left separately from you and Kelce on his boat to pick up Sarah while Kelce drove you to the spot, allowing conversation.
He showed you different places as you passed on the island while listening and car partying to music; at one point, he stopped at a house and said he’d be right back, and you presumed it was his house by the way he slammed the door.
When Kelce re-emerged from the house, he looked at you, smiling, holding a considerably large water bottle, shaking it in the air, hopping back in the car, and handing it to you.
Your face scrunches, and you lift the bottle to your eyes, inspecting it. “What is this exactly?” you ask questioningly; Kelce laughs at the look on your face. “Don't worry there, pretty girl, just some fuel for us for clean up; trust me, these things tend to be a little taxing.” With that, he pulled off from the house towards the beach.
When you got to the beach, you listened to the pastor talk a little before he sent you all off; most of the event, you spent with Wheezie and Kelce so as not to intrude on their time. Sarah did, although, come and ask how the surf event went, and you let her know only a few small league surfers showed up this time, but Dad's table ran well; he ran out of business cards to distribute.
Sarah also ranted to you about the attitude John B gave her and how he stole scuba and got fired, blaming Sarah, but she didn’t tell Ward. You frowned at the fact he stole, not seeing the reason he would need to return something you’re stealing; essentially, the boy lost a job over the air, but you shrugged, saying, “I don’t know, Sarah, he’s gone through a lot maybe give him a little slack, he’s alone now. he misses his dad and is trying to figure it out on his own.” she stares a moment kinda shaking her head and squinting her eyes.
She also asked if you could help her cover if Ward calls looking for her and says she’s staying with you, and you agree; after these conversations, Topper comes back to walk with Sarah a bit, leaving you to talk to Wheezie also at some point during the conversation Kelce had disappeared.
As you walk up and down cleaning the surf with Wheezie, you hear her scoff, watching Topper and her sister; you look at her, eyebrow arched, asking, “What is it, Wheez?”
She whips her head to you with a scowl. “Sarah is what it is? She has been sneaking around, and she’s not telling me anything, but I saw John B leave the boat the other day, and she’s been sleeping there; she’s just being weird.”
Wheezie continues walking with you, throwing trash she sees in bags and stomping her feet; this makes you slow a bit, and say to her, “I used to think the same thing about my brother until he covered for me one day when I really needed him to.”
You stop waiting for the girl to turn to you, and she does, getting ready to say something, but before she can, you smile, cutting her off. “You may not understand or like your sister's actions or decisions, but she’s the only sister you've got, and she’s always going to love and protect you no matter how mad you get. Just remember that.” she sits thinking for a moment, slowly shaking her head
When you feel an arm wrap around your shoulder, you stiffen slightly until you see the mystery liquid from earlier shoved in your face; you hear Kelce through a chuckle behind you, saying, “Need a fill-up.”
You grab the bottle, take a sip, and wince at its strength. You hand it back to Kelce, and he walks to Sarah and Topper, you and Wheezie not far behind, and has them take a drink. Wheezie grabs it, making your jaw drop, and you start laughing while Sarah asks Wheezie, “Since when did you start drinking?” She shrugs and smiles. “Today.” This makes Sarah scold Kelce.
You all giggle, and suddenly, the Pastor walks around the corner to ask how you’re all doing. Topper calls to him, “Looking great, sir, we’re,” Kelce adds, “clearing the stretch.” he hides the water bottle of alcohol while you and Sarah say simultaneously, “Just hydrating.”
Eventually, it is the end prayer, and you guys are heading out; you tell Kelce you will head back with Topper and Sarah to help her on mission ‘Ward doesn't need to know.’
Sarah will ride back to your house with you, so Ward thinks she’s there. So Tooper drives you back to Tannyhill, and when you see Rafe's bike out front, it makes your heart skip.
Suddenly, Wheezie is pushing past you and Sarah, fast walking on the dock back to the house; you both exchange a bemused look and follow her slowly into the house.
As you go upstairs, you can hear Wheezie getting sick, and you look to Sarah, who shakes her head, letting you know she’ll be good. You walk to Sarah’s room, peeking to see if Rafe is home, but his door is closed, so you go into Sarah’s room, choose a book from her bookshelf, and lie on her bed looking through it.
When Sarah comes back, she asks you to talk to Ward with her, so you make your way down to the porch; on the way there, you and Sarah can hear Ward scolding Rafe; you stand back while Sarah sneaks up to listen; you can hear little bits, but it just makes you look down at your shoes to keep yourself from feeling too much guilt intruding.
At one point, you catch Ward's voice becoming more stern than before. “You need to get it together, Rafe, or you can go live on the Cut.” You don’t hear a response, but you do listen to him raising his voice at him and repeating himself and scolding Rafe for laughing at him.
What makes your blood boil is when you hear him say to his son, “Now get out of here; I’m sick of looking at you.” They go back and forth until Rafe walks through the door. And he hears Sarah, and he looks at her with so much coldness, scoffing and turning.
When you both make eye contact, it’s like everything goes on pause; you go to say his name, but the rage and wounded look in his eyes overtake you; he shakes his head and continues walking; you follow slightly, saying, “Rafe-wait” and your heart dropped when he kept going straight out the door.
Turning back to Sarah when she called your name, a slightly confused look shakes her to the porch; you slowly and cautiously move towards the porch, now feeling somewhat different about the man on the other side.
When Rafe made it to his bike, he whispered a hard “fuck” and then got on his motorcycle off to Barry’s to try and make up for all of this.
————————————————————————
On the drive to your house, music plays in the background; you don’t say much as you get closer; you finally speak up, saying, “Does Ward always talk to Rafe like that?” Sarah looks at you, squinting slightly, almost like she doesn’t know why you care. “I know he may seem charming to you (F/N), but it’s an act. Rafe sees everything and anything as property, and the more you have, the better you are; he’s got problems.” She shakes her head, looking forward, and you park the Jeep in your driveway.
Sarah turns, grabbing you by the hand, looking into your eyes, an earnest look on her face. “I know you may like him (F/N), but I care for you, and I don’t want him to mess around with you as he does with everybody else.” you slowly shake your head and say, “We’ll have to see what time will do.” with that, you’re slipping your hand from hers and opening the door smiling your usual smile but with slight discomfort and disappointment shadowing you “Have fun with Top Sarah.” she starts to say “(F/N)—“ but you’ve already closed the Jeeps door and are disappearing into your house.
When you enter, your mom and dad see you come through the kitchen entryway to the stairs, your mother trying to stop you at the bottom. “Hey Peanut, how was the beach cleanup?” both your parents stair at you, expecting excitement as usual, but they’re met with your back, and you say, “Fine.” they let you continue up the stairs after you are gone from view your parents look at each other, and your mom says “I’ve got it.”
When your mom knocks on the door, you are lying on your bed holding the sea shell bracelet you and Luca made when you were eight.
He had gone and found all the shells, and your parents helped you both get the tools to glue hooks, and you made it a bracelet, then Luca insisted you keep it. Sometimes, you wish you could ask him what to do cause he was the only one who knew you.
You hear a knock and sit up to see your mom open the door; she comes to sit in your bed with you a moment before saying, “Honey, what’s going on?” you sit for a short time, and she sits next to you, rubbing circles in your upper back.
After a while, you speak up, “The people out here seem so mixed up, like that Ward Cameron mom today. I literally heard him say to his son’s face he is sick of looking at him who even says that to their child.”
You throw your head in your hand, shaking it. “Also, there is Sarah; don’t get me wrong, I like her, but she’s so judgmental of him.” Saying this makes you stand, turning to look at your mom. “This whole island does, Mom; he’s been so sweet; he reminds me so much of Luca.” this part makes you pause, looking wide-eyed at your mom, who looks back softly.
A long moment passed, and your mom stood walking to you, taking your shoulder in her hands, brushing a hair from your eyes, and gently saying, “My sweet girl, the world will sometimes turn the victim into a villain, but you, my girl are so bright do what you know best ride the waves let it take you where you know” she kisses your forehead and leaves you to think.
————————————————————————
A few hours later, Rafe’s at Topper's getting ready for the party; when he’s in Topper's room grabbing the coke from his bag, he sees you lying on your window seal, looking out towards the bit of the sea. You can see at the back edge of the house, and your windows open, you are singing along to “In My Mind’ by Lyn Lapid
Rafe sees the sadness in your eyes; even from this far, your brow is creased, which makes him want to come over and run his thumb to make your face rest; it is too pretty to look so sad.
He opens Topper’s window, hearing fully now your voice rings out, singing; he sits on the edge and watches as your voice carries through the window.
Your skin seems to have a soft glow on it from the lights of your room. Your hair was wet like you’d let it dry after jumping straight in the ocean, creating beachy waves, making it look layered in beautiful shades of (H/C).
He listens to the words in the song but in your tone, making it feel like it’s just for him; he hears you sing
“Oh, but darling, running ain't enough to escape from
The monsters in my brain
People say I'm quiet most of the time
If only you knew what goes on in my mind.”
At this point, he can’t help but lean out, calling to you, “Your voice is very angelic; it reminds me of something.” your head whips towards Rafe's face, beaming, “Hey, Rafe.” immediately, your face drops.
You say, trying not to be loud but just enough for him to hear you. “are you okay?” he shakes his head, smiling. “Don’t worry bout me, angel; say how you would like to come to the party tonight.” you nod your head immediately, making Rafe smirk as you close your window.
He watches you scurry around your room, getting ready and still smiling, hoping for something good.
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By the time you make it over to Topper's house, there are people everywhere, and you are bumping into someone everywhere you walk till you feel a warm hand grabbing yours; you meet the smiling face of Kelce with a drink in his other hand. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming.” you smile back and move your face to his ear cause the music and people are so loud, saying to him, “I wasn’t, but someone asked me to come.”
This makes Kelce smile almost shyly, and he turns his head to your ear as he says, “Cmom, let’s get you a drink, and we’ll chill by the pool; it’s less crowded.” you shake your head, eyes scanning the crowd for any sign of Rafe but you don’t see anything over the number of people. It’s so crowded you kept getting pushed, so you’ll hope he looks for you soon.
You were by the pool sipping a Gin and Sprite, talking to Kelce and a girl named Myra when you heard people yelling, “Toppers on the roof.” you looked over, laughing, knowing this is exactly what your friends back home would do Kelce nudges you whispering “10 bucks he belly flops” This makes you laugh throwing your head back grabbing his arm to steady yourself
You look at him with seriousness, saying, “I’m not gonna bet on my friend's pain, but 20 bucks he gets Sarah out there with him, and she freaks out halfway down,” giving him an evil smile.
He laughs, throwing his arms around your shoulders and pulling you closer to his side. You wrap your arm around his waist while he says, “You know, I like how you think I think we’re gonna be real good friends.”
You laugh again, laying your head on his shoulder, saying, “We are friends, weirdo,” watching Sarah and Tooper jump from the roof, you both celebrating for them and laughing as he hands you a 20 since you called it.
From afar, Rafe could feel his chest constrict, and his blood started to boil. You and Kelce were looking way too cozy for his liking. He didn’t even know you’d made it here yet, that is, until you laughed at Kelce and ran off with the girl Myra he knew from being in school.
Rafe watches Kelce's eyes trace the other girl, not you smirking; he walks off into the party until he can sell the coke; he can’t get distracted.
He’s got to do that before he can talk to you and do the things he’s been thinking about.
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When you eventually see Rafe again, you walk up from behind with Myra beside you. You look at the table covered in drinks and money and some white powder. All of the girls are talking and staring at Rafe, and he’s charming; the one he sits next to is bumping knees with him, and he leans back all of a sudden like he’s relaxed. Topper walks by you looking pissed off; you try and say
“Hey, top you alr—“ but he walks past you, and Rafe notices him, bringing the girl’s attention to Topper; catching your eyes for a moment, you frown, looking from him to the enormous group of women to the powder and he continues catching your eyes every few seconds as he talks.
When you see Kelce making his way to you and Myra, you nod at him and slowly disappear into the house and push through the house until you make it to the front quickly; you make it to your home and slowly and quietly go upstairs, laying in the darkness of your room staring at your ceiling.
You thought about the act Rafe was putting on, and it makes you think back to the hardware store and all the comments about someone named Emma.
Was Rafe really what they made him out to be? Are you just another venture to conquer for him? These thoughts make your mind spin like a whirlpool getting out of control.
————————————————————————
After hours, you can still hear the music from Topper's house, but it’s gotten much quieter. You lay looking at the photos, missing home, your friends, and yours, and Lucas spots everything that reminds you of him.
Then, like a message from heaven, you hear the pit-pat of something hitting your window; you get up and peek out to see at the bottom, Rafe has little rocks from Topper's driveway and is tossing them at your window
When Rafe eventually sees your face appear in the window, he sighs in relief after he did that last sale and bumps with Topper; he had gotten up to go over to you, but you are already gone.
Kelce said he saw you go into the house, so Rafe checked everywhere; he even accidentally walked in on some couple doing it in Topper guest’s bathroom, having to do a slight double take to make sure your cute floral skirt you wore was nowhere in sight lucky for him it was not you.
You open the window, saying with a smile and harshly joking tone, “You’re gonna break my window there, Romeo.” he chuckles, looking at his feet, saying back while looking back to you, “Can I come in?” you shake your head motioning towards the front.
That’s where you meet at the door; you open it, and he can see the darkness casting shadows on your (E/C) eyes; you immediately grab his hand and drag him with soft feet up the stairs; he follows willingly, and you guide him to your room where the window his now closed along with the shades this makes his head tilt, but his head turns to you when he hears your quiet voice say “What was all that about Rafe.”
He stutters for a few seconds, but you stand patiently, waiting for a response before he sighs and says, “It was coke.” your eyes start to get comprehensive, but he rushes to you, taking you in his arms. You stiffen slightly and say, “It’s just a party fix, angel, not a regular thing. Plus, I was selling for a friend tonight.” you start relaxing, but he can feel you shiver slightly.
“Be careful doing that kinda stuff, Rafe; you could get hurt, or what if you get add—“Before you can finish, he cuts you off, taking a finger to your chin and lifting it so he can meet those gorgeous eyes looking back and forth between both of them mapping both of them out and how your face was twisted in worry and care.
Rafe smiles at the look, making a warmth spread throughout him, whispering as he gets closer, “Are you worried about me, angel?” you smile shyly, simply shaking your head, and that’s when Rafe leans down and captures your lips with his.
Slowly, you feel yourself nearly melting backward; you take a step back, dragging him with you, and he feels it too, the way your tiny fists curl into his shirt; he keeps on walking with you slowly, letting you guide him, lips barely breaking contact until, eventually, you make contact with the mattress at the back of your knees. You almost fall, but Rafe grabs your lower back, putting his arm out, gently laying you back, and caging you underneath him.
You both break the kiss, breathing heavily, staring at each other, almost shocked. Then Rafe feels your small hands come up to cup his cheeks, pulling him back down this time, you kissing harsher.
He feels the tip of your tongue brush his lips, and he opens his mouth, taking control and exploring the sweet taste of your mouth; he runs his tongue gently on the underside of yours, coaxing a small moan to ring through Rafe's ears.
You slowly run your hands up from his cheeks to his neck, splaying your fingers through his hair, feeling how each strand slides easily past your fingers.
He’s kissing down your jaw to your neck, hands trailing your sides until one ghosts the side of your breast and moving back down, you quickly grab his wrist, moving it right onto your left breast, putting your hand over his, moving his to grip the fat of your breast this makes Rafe moan and grind his hips down in between your legs setting off a small whimper feeling his hard length pressing your core he hums a gruff “Do you see what you do to me, princess.”
Suddenly, Rafe feels you pushing him back, and he quickly moves, thinking he’s gone too far, when all of a sudden, he’s staring at you, who’s wearing a smirk;
You remove your shirt, tossing it to the side; he eyes your breasts lying on your chest; they look so soft, and as your chest has made contact with the cold air of your room, your nipples perk slightly.
Rafe's eyes trail down, watching how your figure maps out from your chest to your stomach down to the swell of your hips and to your thighs still lying on the bed.
Rafe looks at your smile and your eyes. He then just quickly removes his shirt, dropping to his knees in front of you, kissing your knees up your thighs, whispering, “I didn’t believe there was any way you could get more beautiful, but you’re always proving me wrong, princess” you lean your head back enjoying the feeling of his lips pressing to your skin like a car heater getting warm after driving five minutes in the brisk winter air.
He makes it to the bottom hem of your sleep shorts with his lips looking up at you as his finger hooks into the waistband of the shorts. “Can I?” Saying nothing, you lift your hips, and he quickly tugs away your shorts, revealing your olive green laced bikini-cut panties.
Rafe takes a considerable breath laying his head face down on your thigh; he can feel his cock throbbing painfully below, leaking precum onto his boxers under the shorts he wore. he sighs once more, saying with his head still down, “I’ve wanted you so bad since I saw you, but I don’t want to fuck this up” you guide him to look at you.
“I want you, Rafe,” and with that, Rafe had his fingers hooked in your panties, pulling them down and kissing up and down your knees to your thighs; you sighed, relaxing back, feeling his lips and hands trail you when he hooks his hand under one of your knees; you quickly allow him to pull open legs and he lets out a breath saying
“Holy shit, you’re dripping wet, angel. I haven’t even touched you yet.” You whimper from the cold contact from the air but also his words when, all of a sudden, you can feel his hot breath right next to your core, and then you feel his lips pressing a chaste kiss to your soaking wet bud.
Rafe starts to slowly suck on your clit, one hand coming up to tease your hole, making circles around the opening. This sensation causes you to squirm, making him smirk a moment, saying, “You like it, princess?” you shake your head rapidly, stating, “Yes, yes, please more.” he immediately dives back in, unable to hold back, hearing you plead.
As he goes back in, he slowly slides a digit into your tight hole simultaneously while sucking your clit, feeling you immediately squeezing his finger tightly and pulling him in. he licks strips up and down your clit circling his tongue when he gets to the top.
He hears you making a hissing noise, so he stops moving his finger and looks up immediately, asking, “Does that hurt?” you shake your head, eyes closed, and head back. “so good, Rafe” you let out a pant making Rafe slowly add another finger moving them skillfully in and out of you which makes your back arch off the bed he pulls his head back lips glistening with your wetness “you taste so fucking sweet, but you look even better angel god damn your killing me” the hand that was fingering kept its pace. His other came down to trace the hard length in his shorts.
He kept his pace, looking at you and hand back to gripping any part of your body he could reach. He could feel your slight fluttering around his digits, and then your voice came in a small pant “I need to feel you, Rafe.” he wastes no time removing his fingers from you and reaching his hand to your mouth; you open and gladly swirl your tongue around his fingers, moaning.
Rafe lets out a groan, removing his finger and leaning down, grabbing your chin, kissing you hard, teeth and tongues clashing for dominance.
He feels your small hands tug on his shorts and say, “Please, Rafe,” which makes him chuckle at the whine you let out when you can’t pull them down.
Brushing a hair out of his eyes, he reaches into the waistband, untying his short's drawstring. He cups your cheek with a hand, looking into your eyes, and says, “Are you sure you want this? Cause once I have you, I don’t know if I’ll ever stop wanting you.”
The way you answer him is by tugging his shorts down to his knees and letting them fall the rest of the way to the floor.
Then you fall back on your bed laughing, hands behind your head, body strewn on the messy sheets from your moving around; you are smiling at him like he’s the only thing in the world.
Rafe smiles at you and climbs on top of you, slowly pumping his length; he’s smiling down at you. “You are something you know that right?” you smile, placing a kiss on the apple of his cheek. “says yo—“
Rafe doesn’t let you finish as he slowly presses his length into your opening, making your eyes blow out, and your mouth fall open; he brushes hair from your face, saying softly, “Shh angel, let me make you feel good.”
He moves his hips slightly at first. The feeling of your pussy pulling him in makes him groan and bury his head to your neck, sucking lightly on the skin, moaning at how much he feels you stretch.
You bring your hands to his back, nails dragging down the skin lightly, whispering in his ear, “Rafe.” this makes him rut his hips faster, feeling your legs shaking already, making him groan. “You like that, princess.”
“Yess,” you said breathlessly, gripping the back of his neck till it turned white under the pressure. He groans, feeling the way you tighten around him, and he lifts your leg to get a better angle, the other hand coming down to rub circles on your clit, laying close to hear the little breaths and whimpers you release.
When you connect your lips to his, you can’t help but release a moan at all the tension he seems to be pulling from your body; he smirks but starts to feel his balls tighten and hips stutter.
When he quickly leans back to pound into you, you bring your now free hands to grip and massage the flesh of your bare breasts. He moans, saying, “You’re gonna be the death of me, Angel.” his unsteady thrusts go faster. “God, you are so sexy.”
The pace he’s set has you whimpering and moaning loudly until you are nearly lifting your hips. He has to push you back into the bed. He's pressing so hard you know it will be bruised tomorrow.
At one point, he seems to brush the spot deep in you, sending a moan tumbling from your mouth with the words, “Gonna cum, Raf—“ but right as you are about to say it, your whining and cumming all over his dick.
The feeling of your pussy fluttering and pulsating on his cock makes him thrust one last time, letting out a throaty “Fuck yes, baby,” releasing his seed deep in you falling to hold himself over you catching his breath and leaving chaste kisses to your jaw, neck, and cheek.
He pulls out of you, and you can feel his cum leaking down your legs; he quickly walks to your en-suite bathroom, grabs a towel, and gets one side damp, walking back and cleaning you up, whispering sweet nothings about how your body is a dream and how beautiful you look even in the darkness.
Eventually, after you both clean, you crawl under your comforter, lifting it to him, who’s still standing on the side of your bed; he tosses the towel toward your laundry hamper, lifting the blanket and putting one arm under your head, you immediately curl into his chest.
You nuzzle your head, feeling his warmth and woody citrusy scent and rhythmic heartbeat. Rafe lays his other arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer, feeling your even breaths and smelling the ocean breeze and coconut scent. Both of you falling into a comfortable sleep feeling warm and content.
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The following day, you woke to the side Rafe occupied the night before, empty but still slightly warm; you blinked the sleep from your eyes a few times to see a sticky note on your vanity mirror; you hopped out of your bed, pulling it off, reading.
Angel Girl,
Leaving you in bed like this is nearly killing me, but Topper made me promise to golf with him. Meet at the Marina later. I’ll take you out. Thank you for last night, Angel. You are a dream.
- Reef ❤️
You smile, reading it, and hear a knock and your dad call through the door. “You decent?” you call back to him, hurrying for clothes. “one sec,” throwing on shorts and an old school shirt from last night and kicking your panties under your bed. “Come in.”
Your dad walks in smiling, carrying what seems to be some folder. “Hey, peanut, you don’t look ready.” you tilt your head questioningly, and he chuckles. “Remember we’re meeting Mr. Orien for golf; he wants to talk the deal over a game.” your eyes widen, and you shake your head, running off to the closet. “Yeah, sorry, slept badly. Be down in five.” your dad nods his head, leaving the room, saying, “Don’t rush too much. You’ll give yourself a heart attack,” and closes your door.
Then, 15 minutes later, you were in the car with your dad on your way to the Island Club for the business meeting; when you got there, you spotted Topper's truck, but you knew it was unlikely for you to see Rafe till later
Nearly half an hour later, in the middle of you and your dad golfing, you are on the third hole, and you tell your dad you want to walk to the main clubhouse and grab a soda; he shakes his head, knowing you weren’t the biggest fan of golfing.
On your walk back, you are thinking about Rafe and how you hadn’t felt like you did last night in a long time. It has been a year since kissing someone, still holding out for Luca. Something was different about Rafe; he reminds you of Luca so much in so many ways but is so mysterious in others.
You’re broken from your stupor when there is commotion by some voices ahead of you; suddenly, you hear a distinguishing voice: “Hey, Rafe, Calm Down, man.” Then clear as day, you heard him scream, “Stay down bitch” You walk as quick as you can toward their voices coming into view; you watch as Rafe slams a golf club right next to the ground by someone who looks familiar.
You stand watching him as he yells at the boy on the ground; your heart shatters watching the man who was so gentle with you the night before going as far as to leave you a note to wake up to hurting someone and being so vulgar. You watch him crouch over the boy, and Topper turns to see you, making you hurry into the bush so that he can’t catch you.
Rafe finally diffused slightly but still taunted the boy, Tooper looking back to where you were standing, eyes trailing to you, giving you a look of pity and fear. Your back goes straight against the tree as you hear them running off, and you round the corner to see the boy rolling on the ground, trying to get back up.
You rush, and as you get closer, you see Pope nearly tripping over the sand, and you drop on your knees next to him, hands ghosting over his body, saying, “Oh my god, oh my god, are you okay? I’m so sorry. What can I do ?”
He groans and says, “It’s not your fault, but help up would be much appreciated.” you stick your hand out and pull him up and help lightly brush the sand from his body
You look down and help pick up what he had. Pope is still standing. “I’m sorry, Pope, I can’t believe the—“ he grabs the things in your hand, turning while saying, “Just go (F/N); you don’t need to be seen with a Pouge.” he turns, walking. “Pope—wait.” you try and catch up to him. He is gone before you can even try to say anything else.
Hanging your head, you go back to your dad; when you reach him, he sees the look on your face, and when you sit in the golf cart, not moving or talking, he walks up asking.
“What’s up, Peanut?” you shake your head, eyes scanning the grass for the boy you saw who you thought you had all wrong.
Your mind is racing a million miles thinking about last night and how you felt so connected with him, and then seeing how he treated Pope shocked you. It made you second guess everything you thought.
Maybe Rafe was precisely the person they said. Perhaps you’d be another girl on the notch of his belt. Then you think of the note and the boneyard incident. You were broken in your thought when Dad nudged you, letting you know it was time to return the cart and go home.
————————————————————————
As your dad drove you home, you laid your head against the window, listening to the music he let you put on, ‘Logical’ by Olivia Rodrigo, playing slowly as you watched the leaves creating patterns from sunlight casting through the windows and on the ground.
You could see slightly past a line of trees, all the people at the beach, the sun shining down. All of them are smiling, and all you can do is trace your finger along the window's glass back and forth, trying to keep yourself from thinking nothing stopped the tidal waves of things hitting you from all sides.
You thought about everything with Rafe and how everything around him felt genuine and solid. You could tell Rafe was dangerous when you met him but not aggressive, and these thoughts scare you. There are so many complex parts of him, but to see him letting out his rage on someone who you know didn’t deserve it any sense not like that.
Then you think about your night together, how he touched and held you all night. He was so gentle; this wasn’t your Rafe, not the one you know at least, and you don’t understand why things with you are different.
As the chorus plays, you sing along, head resting now on the window, looking forward just staring off, ‘If rain don’t pour, and sun don’t shine, then changing you is possible. No, love is never logical.’
Your dad's eyes had been flicking from the road to you when he finally spoke up, watching you wince, making him break. “Honey, you know you can talk to Dad, right? Does this have to do with that Rafe boy?” you wince again. He gives you a sad look, pulling to a parking lot that looks out at the beach, leaving the car on but turning to grab your hands, making you look at him.
The second you make contact with your dad's soft brown eyes, your entire heart drops, and you sob, falling into your dad's arms. “I’m so stupid, Dad. I don’t know why I keep making these choices.” He holds you in his arms, running his hand down the back of your head.
“Honey, does this have anything to do with me seeing Rafe and Topper pretty disheveled leaving the sandbar walkway?” you shake your head, looking up at him. “It’s so much more. I am so confused.” he puts his hand on your cheek, brushing tears away. “My sweet, beautiful girl, if he knows how much you are worth like I do, which I think he does, he’ll show you it.” you shake your head. “That’s just it, Dad; he does; he’s perfect with me; it's not exactly that, but there is a whole other side he hides from me. I don’t know,” you finish looking down, shaking your head.
Your dad chuckles, which makes your head whip up “(F/N); sometimes people are afraid if you see a certain part of them, it will make you run; maybe he just doesn’t want what the people of this island say about him to shape who he truly is; he’s just a boy who’s learning let him come to you sweetheart he will I’m sure and whatever he’s done, be calm, don’t lie, tell him what you know and ask him; let him explain see his reason sometimes you don’t always fully know what’s happening within someone or around them” your dad wipes the rest of your tears and turning back to drive you home.
———————————————————————-
When you get home, you lay in bed with Rafe's note lying next to you on your bed right next to the ring Luca had given you; stare at both and think, what would Luca say and think? Would he hate you for your choices? You think about Jason, who’s always given you the best advice, feeling he’s so far; now this isn’t something you can get help with over the phone; you think about Pope and if he’s okay, hoping he is.
You think of Rafe.
————————————————————————
Across the island, in his room, he is getting ready to meet you at Marina and take you out. Finally, he wants to sit down and talk and know more about you; he puts on one of his nice button-downs and jeans and grabs his phone while running a hand through his hair, setting his phone on the counter as he clicks the call button.
My Angel ❤️
As the phone rings, Rafe brushes his teeth; it keeps ringing as he washes his mouth out until, finally, the call goes to voice mail. Rafe sets down his toothbrush and shoots you a text
Rafe🪸: Hey Angel girl, I’m about ready; when do you want to meet?
Rafe waited for nearly an hour before he got a response back from you that had him stirring with anxiety
My Angel ❤️: Not feeling well. Raincheck?
You’d never sent him such a short response; this immediately had him Facetiming you; this time, you answered, and you were in your bed; he smiled when he saw your face.
That all changed when he saw; it looked like you’d been crying, making him say, “Hey, sweet girl, what’s happening? Are you okay?” you stare at him, almost looking shocked that he asked, then you shake your head like you’re snapping yourself out something making Rafe frown and tilt his head. After you just stared at him, he quietly said, “Baby girl.”
This made you snap out of the wait, and finally, you said, “I’ve just been getting sick today. My stomach is killing me, and I think I should stay home.” Rafe looks at you worried, and you shake your head, starting to say, “I’ll be fin—“
Before you can finish, he says, “I’ll be there in 20 minutes; hang tight.” you were trying to say, “Rafe, no, wait—, “ but he was already off the phone, and you went to text him that he didn’t need to come that you just needed to rest and sleep only to see a message.
Rafe 🪸: Don’t even try to say no, Angel. I said I’d be there, so I will see you in 20 minutes, stopping by the store. See you soon
📍location shared
You stared at your phone for so long, knowing what you saw happen to Pope was uncalled for and unnecessary, but the feeling you have for him is something you can’t help; he already fills many voids you think have been gaping in you for so long.
You are lying on your bed holding the note from this morning to your chest, phone in the other hand, staring at the bit of the horizon; you can see bits of orange cast glow over the houses and grass. You don’t even notice until after you've sent it.
My Angel❤️: Okay, thanks, Reef; see you soon 🪸❤️
You hope you’re not setting yourself up for something you know will end in tragedy. Then you think of what Dad told you, ask him, be calm, let him explain. As you lay in your bed, that’s what you'll wait to do.
All rights belong to the owners of Netflix and the Outer Banks. I do not own any characters except OC characters. The fiction is simply for fun. All copyrights belong to the original owners.
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LITA Ep. 5 Rewatch Thoughts Part 1
(edit bc I started writing this post like 6 months ago - hi! I'm gonna finish going through the rest of the phayurain episodes of LITA finally! I've lost all sense of shame so these posts are just gonna be love letters to Eul, hope that's ok) Hi hi hi! I find it absolutely hilarious that the notes on the final part of my episode 4 rewatch post (which contains my best screenshots of That Scene) has like triple the notes of the rest of the parts. I love the thirsty LITA fam <3 I think I kept it mostly clean for the first 3 episodes but LITA brainrot is real and from here on out I'm putting down all my deranged thoughts into words so enjoy
Onwards to episode 5!! Ok so y'all should know by this point that BossNoeul sang the opening right? I added it on spotify and have listened to it on repeat so much over the last week that I could probs (badly, bc my singing voice leaves much to be desired but I can and will belt it at the top of my lungs) karaoke it now. If y'all haven't heard the full version check it out bc they rap a few bars and Noeul has this line "shake your bo- shake your bo- shake your body" that makes me lose it every time
The recap sees us revisiting some rather adorable moments from the previous episode including PhayuRain in the rain and tub. Imagine if they stuck the leg kiss in the recap >.<
We open to sunlight pouring in through the curtained windows on the morning after. I kind of wish the last episode had ended with this scene bc it would have been a soft transition after the intimacy PhayuRain shared rather than the abrupt cut to credits. But I digress.
Phayu's hair looks glorious out and I wish we'd gotten to see it like this more. In fact I think we should've seen Rain push his hands through it and grip it during episode 6's NC scene. Also the definition of that bicep? Sir pls.
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I ADORE how sweet Phayu is towards Rain all the time, and this is yet another example. I love it when characters look fondly at their lover (I finally get to use that word for them!!), cover them with a blanket, and then give them a forehead kiss before sliding out of bed. SO FOND
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I just think it's really attractive when people do this. Rain was really missing out by snoozing.
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The state of Rain's neck and chest sends me into hysterical giggles every time. Phayu you did not have to go that hard with the marking bestie (let's be honest though, looking at the state of Phayu's neck post episode 6 they both have marking kinks) - everyone's gonna know Rain's officially yours soon enough. Also throwback to how like two months ago (or something like that idk the exact timeline) Rain was like hmph I never want anything to do with P' Phayu ever again. I didn't hear any complaining from you last night hmm??? Also I love how confident Rain was in his abilities to seduce Phayu, so true of him
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I'm DECEASED
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OK WAIT I think I finally get the whole yellow-blue thing. It literally is just that yellow is Rain's representative color and Phayu's is navy blue. So by making Rain put on Phayu's navy blue shirt for the "morning after" they're just reiterating that Rain belongs to Phayu now. Mystery solved :)
Obligatory shot bc he's worked hard for these gains and I think he deserves some appreciation ft. Rain who's making the same face as all of us. I think they spent like 30 whole seconds on Phayu's shoulders and that's so valid of them
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Sir, do you have a good reason for striding in here shirtless and sweaty to wake your new bf up? Methinks someone was hoping for round 2
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Ok, and we're back to Rain in a yellow t-shirt looking very feverish. He's holding his teal green phone (case) up though which is a combo of yellow and blue, isn't it? I'm sorry my color theory is lacking. His eyebrows look really nice here and I don't know why I noticed. I hope he has a good nap! But oops he misses calls from Phayu...
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This episode's title is "the Calm Before the Storm" which implies it's gonna be a mostly tooth-rotting fluff episode and that drama is on the way next week. I'm already smiling so wide my cheeks hurt so the title is apt.
Phayu (dressed in navy blue!) is here to make sure his precious Rain is ok and Mama is already planning the wedding in her head.
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The first three or four times I watched this, I was paying too much attention to their faces and probably missed a lot so let's break it down a bit. Phayu comes in, Rain's surprised and sits up, and Phayu sits down next to Rain on the bed but facing away. Phayu is slightly upset that Rain went away without saying anything and he was worried that since Rain was sick that him driving home alone was dangerous. The second Phayu sits down this way, Rain reaches out to grab his arm but Phayu pulls away. Compared to couples in other dramas, PhayuRain depend on touch a lot to communicate so obv the situation is quite serious plus Phayu is not immediately making eye contact with Rain.
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The next couple of shots are just back and forth where Phayu asks why Rain left and Rain tells him what happened and apologies for worrying him. He looks v v soft and fluffy here
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Gonna take a second to appreciate the background music bc it sounds so serious and doom-y right now but they're literally about to clear it all up so it was unnecessary to go that hard. Sound artist I love you
Throughout this conversation, Phayu starts far away (which for PhayuRain means there's like 1.5 meters of distance between their faces instead of 0.15 meters) but he moves closer and tilts his body more in Rain's direction as Rain gives each justification. He also lets Rain grab his arm. It's very subtle but I like the acting choices here.
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Phayu, Rain is sick. Can you pls stop staring at his lips bff give him some rest (spoiler alert I counted like 5 lip-looks in the next 10 seconds, Phayu didn't hear me)
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OK this hug. Exquisite. The gap has been bridged, all parties are happy again, and they both absolutely sink into each other.
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Boss' little shoulder rub here is so soft and gives us more PhayuRain believability. We can see how worried he was and how relieved he is now that Rain is safely in his arms again.
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Rain's cheek-smushed nod agreeing to never disappear from Phayu's side ever again is everything to me.
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I don't actually think this was what I was supposed to get out of this but there's something about the symmetry of this hug and them being in the shape of a triangle and how technically their first encounter as a couple involved Phayu's triangle tool etc. etc. etc. Also headpat alert!
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More subtle and soft gestures from Phayu. Rain is down bad.
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HANDS!!!
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We really heard the MWAH here and I want to forehead kiss whoever placed the mics
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Everyone needs to observe Rain's expression right after Phayu asks this question bc it's very sus
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(I couldn't get it in motion but Rain straightens up a bit and raises his eyebrows. Someone thinks they're about to get spanked like before)
Except this is not that kind of punishment and I can't believe Phayu really brought along a rectal suppository. To his credit though, I believe they're supposed to be more immediately effective than oral medicines because they absorb more directly into the body so he just wants Rain to be healthy faster. Although I wish Phayu would've not proceeded to yank Rain's pants off without permission, it's fiction and I hope if Rain had shown signs of major discomfort he would've listened. I do have to wonder if Mama put on headphones though bc Rain was really loud with his protests. I also think this must've been funny to film bc if you look closely before it cuts to Rain's mom, Rain looks like he's holding back laughter.
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Uh-oh, Mama it's better if you walk away now
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This sequence was actually so adorable and funny. I love purrito!Rain and Phayu is looking way too smug. Mama Rain walked out of there trying to name all the yellow and blue flowers she could for the wedding centerpieces.
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omfg Phayu calling Rain's mom "Mama" is so friggin cute and I love how smoothly he just slid into son-in-law position
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Rain's like excuse me I'm sick I should NOT be slandered right now
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To part 2 with all the cute shots!!
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crackedpumpkin · 7 months
Text
|| ʙᴀᴅ ɴᴇᴡꜱ || 08 ||
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[ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ] | [ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ] | [ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ]
“No.”
Ren, the student council president looks at you with a sigh, having skimmed through the proposal you handed to him in the morning. He places it down on his desk, pinching the space between his brows and massaging it with a grimace. “I already told you that the school won’t let this run.”
Ever since Hiro had suggested the idea to you, it’d taken root in your mind, planting new ideas here and there until you made a whole proposal, PowerPoint presentation and all you’d used to persuade Leo to be on your side. Suffice it to say it worked. 
The urgent article had been published without issue, but it quickly got edited to put the school in a good light by Ren. It’d taken a little over a week to put everything together, but now you’re ready. The proposal is bulletproof. 
“But,” You raise a suggestive brow, “you and I both know that you want this to be printed.” He pauses, barely opening an eye to give you a frosty stare. You simply smile widely in return, knowing full well that regardless of how much the students and teachers like him, or how well-off he is, he doesn’t like how the school operates. 
“Look,” You sit down on the armchair reserved for special guests in the spacious lounge, glancing down at another paper with words underlined in prominent red ink. A slight squint reveals that they’re all things that can be improved on in the school, with your journalism club being given more of the school’s budget. “I don’t like whatever the school’s doing, and I sure as hell don’t know why you’re still here when your parents could’ve transferred you elsewhere,” a slight narrowing of his eyes makes you skip over that subject quickly, “but the journalism club was made to give the students a voice.”
You can sense him considering your words, so you barrel on, not intending to stop. Hiro had given you a match, and you’d be damned if it isn’t going to start a fire. “So many students agree with me about the school’s stupid measures, and they won’t even listen unless we do something about it! Are you ready to watch everyone be denied their bathroom rights? What if someone’s still pooping and the lights turn off? They’d be terrified!”
“Those are the examples you chose to go with?” He raises a brow. You wince.
“Okay, maybe not the best ones to start with. But think about it. If we publish this and make sure it gets out there, they’ll listen. They won’t have a choice, right? And I’ll be sure not to credit you in it in case it goes wrong - which it won’t,” You quickly add, watching his nose scrunch. 
He’s silent, staring down at the proposal where you’d outlined all the benefits and reasons why you should do this. You’re not sure whether to move; it feels as if though as soon as you do, he’d shoot it down faster than before. The ticking of the clock above the whiteboard is almost ominous, but the rhythmic sound clams you somewhat. You’re confident in this; confident that you’ll be able to convince him.
All you need is a moment. A moment of hesitation, a moment of recognition, a moment of acknowledgement that you have something solid. And as soon as you spot it, you lunge. 
— — — — —
You slam open the doors to the journalism clubroom with an air of victory. Leo turns around in his spinny chair at the sound, eyes wide and jaw dropped in excitement.
“You didn’t…”
“Oh yes, yes I did.” Your wide grin is starting to hurt your cheeks, but this doesn’t phase you in the slightest, marching over to him and staring him down. “I just got Ren’s stuffy butt to approve our proposal. You and I? We’re gonna head this together.”
Leo takes off his glasses, wiping them as he ponders for a moment. “Don’t you have work? Are you sure it’s a good idea to juggle everything, including school?” 
“I’ll be fine,” you wave off his concerns, sitting down in your own designated spinny chair in the mildly cramped room and turning on your computer. “First, we gotta plan this out.”
“Not now you won’t,” he snorts, getting up from his seat and walking to the door. He opens it, pausing in the doorway. “Your shift starts in thirty minutes. It takes you twenty to reach there from here.”
“Oh crap, you’re right. I’ll call Cass. Thanks!” You race out the doorway, grabbing your bag on the way. Leo shakes his head with a disapproving sigh, though a hint of an amused smile ghosts his lips. 
It does in fact take about twenty minutes to reach the Lucky Cat Cafe. Well, nineteen minutes and thirty seconds to be exact. But who’s counting? 
Apparently Hiro Hamada.
He’s already waiting for you at the counter with an apron on and a toothy smile that immediately drops when he sees you. “About time you got here,” he grumbles, passing the apron to you. “It’s been a nightmare.”
“Aw, did Cass drag the gremlin out of his cave?” You say in mock pity with pursed lips, dropping your voice to a whisper. “It’s you. You’re the gremlin I’m talking about.”
“Wow, that’s a salary deduction. Maybe twenty percent.”
You hold your hand over your heart in mock offence, having stashed your bag under the counter. “Not twenty percent!” You drop to your knees, the devastating news crushing your soul as he stares down at you with a smug smile.
The both of you hold this charade for a few more seconds before a twitch of his lips makes you both dissolve into laughter. You get back up from the floor, leaning against the counter. Luckily, there aren’t many customers around that you have to attend to. The only people are the regulars, like Miss Darcy from down the road and Tom from the bookstore. They both merely chuckle, used to this behaviour by now.
Rifling through your bag, the smile drops from your face when you realise the shirt you’d brought along to change into is suspiciously absent. Textbooks? Check. Pencil case? Check. Snacks in case you get hungry? Check. 
Everything is there but your shirt. Clearing your throat, you glance up at Hiro who’s making a drink for himself. “So…” You start, noting the stiffening of his shoulders. 
“What do you want?” He asks warily. Sometimes your requests ranged from borrowing a pen to dismantling his precious megabot. The latter was done under his strict supervision, of course. 
“I kinda, forgot to, maybe, bring my shirt…?”
He turns around with his mug in hand, scanning you up and down to figure out if you’re lying. Judging from your sheepish grin, you’re not. “Follow me.” He sighs. The both of you head to his room after placing a sign at the counter saying you’d be back in five minutes. 
Something’s different, you realise, upon entering. Hiro’s side is well-lit, having finally drawn the curtains and allowing the natural sunlight to enter and illuminate the room in a warm glow. His desk is mysteriously tidied up, all his blueprints arranged in a corner next to his notebooks. You watch him go through his drawers, taking a sip from the drink you’d bugged him to let you try until he relented.
Huh. It’s fizzy yuzu tea. You’re unsurprised by this odd combination, quickly figuring out how he managed to make it. It’s nice. Taking a few more sips, you notice the absence of his brother. He must be at SFIT again, probably working on Baymax.
“Here.” You’re interrupted from your thoughts, taking the shirt Hiro hands to you. “Bathroom’s down the hall.” You hand him back his drink which he happily takes, sipping away at the same place your lips touched. 
Oh. That’s an indirect kiss. 
You shake your head, dismissing those silly thoughts before heading to the bathroom and quickly changing into his shirt. 
Indirect kiss? So what?
His shirt is more comfortable than you thought. You recognise the logo on the front belonging to a famous YouTube channel. The shirt itself is a faded red, resting loosely on your shoulders. 
Exiting the bathroom, you fold your shirt up and tuck it securely under your arm before approaching Hiro. He tilts his head upon seeing you, nodding approvingly. “I was worried it wouldn’t fit.”
You arch a brow. “Really? It fits like a charm. It’s a little loose on the shoulders though, you pig.” The effect of your words turn out the way you intend them to, grinning widely as he scoffs. 
“Return it then.”
“Sorry, can’t hear you! Busy working!” You call out, slowly making your way down the stairs. However, a thought occurs to you and you pause, poking your head back into sight before he heads back to his room. “On a totally unrelated note, do you know where Cass is?”
“What do I get in return for being your informant?” He crosses his arms. Your shoulders slump, glaring at him.
“Very funny Hamada. Cute move. Where’s Cass?”
He only smirks in response. “Bold of you to assume I’m joking.” 
“I’ll just call her.”
“Wait!” You’re interrupted from unlocking your phone, Hiro running a hand through his hair in defeat. “She’s at the grocery store. I think she’s coming back soon.” A victorious chuckle slips from your lips, pocketing your phone. 
“Thanks Hamada, ‘preciate it.”
The shift in the cafe is as usual, though you keep an eye out for Cass. Once she returns, she invites you to dinner once more, citing a new recipe she wanted to try. You agreed eagerly, planning to ask her about your request for some adjusted shifts afterwards.
Once the cafe has been wiped down, dishes cleaned, and the ‘Open’ sign flipped to close, it’s time for dinner. You’re making your way up the stairs when you hear the door open and shut behind you, turning around to see Tadashi putting aside his umbrella and taking off his shoes. 
“Oh hey, didn’t know you were having dinner with us tonight.” He says, surprised when he sees you. He hands you another pair of house shoes that you accept graciously, slipping off your sneakers. 
“Yeah, Cass invited me again. You guys should take this out of my pay y’know.” You chuckle warmly, slowly walking up the stairs with him. He laughs along with you, but his eyes widen slightly upon noticing something. He looks at you oddly, tilting his head. 
“Is that Hiro’s shirt?” You look down at it, suddenly feeling self-conscious and tugging on the hem. 
“I forgot to bring mine, and he lent me this one.” You spot the smirk playing on Tadashi’s face, scowling as you punch his arm lightly. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
He rubs his arm with another chuckle, reaching the top of the stairs. “Sure, sure it doesn’t.” You spot Hiro setting the table, Cass busy stirring a pot. The younger Hamada acknowledges your presence with a nod, Tadashi checking on the chicken in the oven. 
You slide into your seat beside Hiro’s. Your seat is now a designated spot at the table, Cass claiming that you’re over for dinner often enough to have your own space. “Hey,” you greet when he sits down, handing him his fork that had somehow made its way onto your plate.
“How’s the article?” The question catches you off guard, surprised that he’d remembered even telling you about it. He spots your incredulous smile, offering a small one of his own. “I’m taking that as bad news.”
“Actually,” you begin, unable to suppress your excitement, “I got Ren to agree to the proposal and he’s gonna turn a blind eye for now. We’re gonna start by asking people to do our survey and compile the information, then get signatures for a petition! Ooo, maybe the art club might wanna do some posters or something.” In your enthusiasm, you fail to notice Cass and Tadashi exchanging looks, quietly beginning to eat while Hiro listens intently.
“That sounds good, how long do you think it’ll take before teachers shut you down?” 
Propping your elbow up, you rest your cheek on your hand with a huff. “As if. They’re too busy sucking up to the principal and Ren’s parents to even care. If not for all those donations his parents made, maybe they’d be serious about teaching us.”
“Tell me,” he points his fork at you, “have you ever considered embezzlement?”
“Aand that’s a conversation for another day.” Tadashi interrupts against his own will, reaching out and roughly messing up Hiro’s hair. The victim looks up with a scoff, stabbing his fork into a piece of chicken on his plate. 
Huh. Jokingly as it was said, you’d never actually considered that before. What if…?
Nah. You shake your head, ignoring the suspicion that sneaks its way into your mind. For now, dinner is the priority. Surprisingly enough, conversations are civil and the atmosphere is light-hearted. 
“Looks like it’s your turn to do the dishes,” Hiro calls out, standing in front of the sofa and allowing himself to fall back with a loud ‘oof’. You casually kick his leg that’s dangling off the armrest, making your way to the kitchen. 
“Thanks, honey,” Cass greets warmly when you approach the basin. She closes the fridge door, a bowl of washed grapes in her hands. “I’m gonna go binge my drama now, so be careful on the way back! I’ll get Hiro to walk you home.” She narrows her eyes as soon as you part your lips to decline, her pointed look enough for you to merely nod in response.
Gotta hand it to Cass, she’s the best boss you’ve ever had. Working at the Lucky Cat cafe is the best blessing the universe has decided to give you, and there’s no way you’re ever going to let them down. Tadashi saunters over, nudging your side.
Pausing your dishwashing to briefly raise your brow, suggesting a silent ‘What’s up’ makes him smile. He nods to Hiro who’s going down the stairs. “Do me a favour and make sure he doesn’t spend too long in the garage. I know you don’t have school tomorrow, kid. Stay over if it gets too late.”
“Sure.” You shrug off the dishwashing duties to Tadashi, following Hiro out the door and into the garage. It’s still as tech-chic as ever, the stunning glow of the vending machine they have overshadowing all the other cool gadgets. 
“I can’t believe you still have to pay for your snacks.” You muse, your sudden presence startling Hiro. he flinches at the sound of your voice, his hand gripping his chest with wide eyes. 
“You have got to stop doing that.” He sits down, turns on the lights above his desk and begins to solder wires. You pull up another spinny chair and roll over to him, peering over his shoulder with intrigue. 
“What’s that?”
Apparently, he quickly forgets people are around because he flinches once more. “Seriously?” He calms down quickly and sets down his soldering gun, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “Get a bell.”
“So spill,” you ignore his disbelieving splutter, prodding at the headband on his desk. “What’s this all about then?”
He sighs, perhaps sensing that you’re not going to leave anytime soon. “It’s the headband you suggested last time. It controls the microbots, but currently…” He lifts the headband and plops it onto his head. You watch it light up, turning your head when you hear something crawling toward you. 
A river of microbots is slowly but surely approaching. You prop your feet up on the chair seat, sitting cross-legged in fascination as Hiro focuses. Once they reach both of you, they move into a large pile before promptly collapsing in on itself and scattering all over the floor. 
“That’s all I got so far.” You look back to see the headband back on the desk, Hiro hunching over and resuming his soldering. “But it won’t take long for me to figure it out. I’m probably like, halfway done?”
You don’t reply. He doesn’t notice your silence, but it feels as if you’re already drowning. You drop your gaze to the floor, eyes fixed on a small stain that’s been there since the first time he’d introduced you to his workspace. 
Moments like these suck. As much as he forgets that you’re there sometimes, you always forget that he’s a child prodigy — someone so smart, so capable of doing anything that you often wonder why he’s still here. Still in San Fransokyo, going to bot fights and working at this cafe.
And then there’s you. A scrappy teenager who’s still in a school that probably has corrupted teachers. A random spokesperson in the journalism club, just someone who started writing as an escape mechanism and ended up liking it so much she wanted to be a journalist. 
You’re nobody compared to him. 
Hiro must’ve sensed something off. You’re snapped back into reality when he coughs awkwardly, having swivelled around in his seat and is now looking at you with a hint of concern in his eyes. 
Realising you’d been staring blankly at the floor for probably a while now, you force a smile back onto your face. “Is there, like, a spider on my face? Or are you just mesmerised by my charm?” 
The concern in his eyes is instantly replaced by disgust, reaching out a hand to shove you away. A genuine giggle from you does make him crack a smile though. “There’s a spider on your face.” 
“Don’t even joke about that.” You punch his arm lightly, feeling at ease from his reaction. “Hey,” you tap his shoulder, noticing a date on his calendar that’s circled in red. “You didn’t tell me Tadashi’s birthday is next week.”
“You never asked.”
“Very funny, Hamada,” you reply grouchily, straightening up in your seat. “Have you gotten his birthday gift yet?”
“I’ll get him the same thing: a massage coupon and a coupon of servitude.” He shrugs, having gotten used to your habit of fiddling with the contraptions on his desk when you’re thinking. You roll a screw between your fingers, shooting him a sceptical glance. “Hey, he loves it!” He states defensively.
“I haven’t gotten him anything,” you grumble, setting down the screw and taking a random wire he hands you. “Wait, are you free this weekend?”
“I think so- wait, why are you asking?” He looks down at you with a raised brow, already suspicious. You scoff, crossing your arms and discarding the wire back onto his table which he nonchalantly sweeps into the small trash bin right next to you.
You cross your hands, before remembering that you’re about to ask him a favour. “Could you come with me to the mall so I can buy a present for Tadashi?”
“He’ll love anything you get him.” Hiro leans back in his seat, stating an obvious fact. You roll your eyes. 
“I know that, genius. That’s why I wanna get him an actual good gift. God knows he hasn’t had one from you in years.” The offended look on his face makes your eyes widen, clearing your throat. “I mean, not that massage coupons and servitude aren’t good gifts, but I was thinking of something else. Besides, he kinda…saved my life. I would’ve been homeless without his offer. I owe him.” Your voice goes a little quieter, almost as if admitting to yourself that truly, you wouldn’t be here without his help.
“Fine,” You look up to see Hiro place his soldering gun down and turn to face you properly. “I’ll go with you this weekend if,” He holds up his phone, the screen filled with a picture of a new movie that’s just come out. “We watch Iron Man.”
“Looks like you got yourself a deal.”
— — — — —
@urfavarab @dee-zbignuts @frogindisguise @mangodamochiii @stars4won @whoisgami @nayleannn @millerworld @bodieohbo @1intrusivethoughts1 @randobeetlehouse @riritvt @louvredea
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tearsoftime0086 · 10 months
Text
Zero-Sum Escape: A Close Reading of Code Veronica’s Steve Burnside
Introduction + Disclaimers
If you’re a friend/mutual/unfortunate witness to my discovery of Steve Burnside, you might’ve seen this coming. I’ve become an avid enjoyer of the character, which has led to some interesting discussions about him with friends! I’ve decided to write a small (edit: it was supposed to be small) piece on what makes him so interesting, using quotes and cutscenes from the original Code Veronica game. A lot of online discourse around Steve has historically been negative, so I hope this can be a positive primer for folks who want to learn more about him, or even an interesting curio for folks wondering why someone would do such an in-depth read for a one-off character.
This reading will focus strictly on Code Veronica (and not any of the Darkside Chronicles material) – with the full understanding that many aspects of the game are a product of their time, good and bad. I’ll try to cite my evidence as much as possible, but this will obviously be coming from a subjective and modern perspective as a fan of his character! I’m also a fairly new Resident Evil fan, so if anything’s incorrect, please forgive me and let me know! I’d be happy to make edits.
Anyway, this is all in good fun – and to anyone who even reads a single sentence of this, I appreciate your time!
Reference
As a way to “cite” dialogue and cutscenes, I’ll be including rough timestamps to this great video of Code Veronica cutscenes: https://youtu.be/ym46RPHqaSY?si=a6ItTpdOn3rCZq-U. Feel free to follow along, but the text should make sense without the video too.
So, who is this guy, anyway?
Let’s start with the basics. In the game Resident Evil – Code: Veronica (taking place shortly after RE:2), you start as Claire Redfield, recent prisoner of Rockfort Island. Unfortunately, Claire finds herself in the midst of another biohazard outbreak. And what’s worse is that during her escape, a stranger in a watchtower starts shooting at her indiscriminately! (0:05)
When the dust settles, Claire comes face to face with an abrasive teenager named Steve Burnside, a fellow prisoner on the island.
“Uh, sorry about that little misunderstanding…” (0:43)
This, alongside his attempts to be “smooth” – (I mean, who says “Relax beautiful…” unironically?) doesn’t do him any favors for most players. Not to mention his active derision of Claire’s skills – he leaves her with a few choice “tsks” and a “I don’t want you following me, lady. You’ll only slow me down.” (1:30).
This opening scene sets up a few key characteristics for Steve, which I’ll be referencing throughout this piece.
Steve is someone who makes numerous mistakes, ranging from purely accidental to sheer negligence.
Steve puts a heavy emphasis on reliability/dependability. He leaves Claire because he thinks she will “slow [him] down”. We’ll see more examples of his complex with “relying on others” later on.
Where do these traits leave us? A character that ends up being deeply paradoxical, and in my opinion, super fascinating because of it.
“You’ll just end up disappointed if you rely on others”
Claire finds Steve somewhat quickly afterwards, perusing information about her brother, Chris. I think it’s important to recognize Steve’s intent here. If he was purely focused on escaping (and leaving Claire behind), he wouldn’t have bothered looking for any records relating to her. Some folks may argue that he has a crush on Claire already, and is just following teenage impulses. But trust me, there’s more concrete evidence of teenage impulses later. For now, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was trying to help her out – it ties well with point 2.
Steve’s snooping reveals that Chris is being monitored by Umbrella. Claire immediately takes action, contacting Leon about it. At this point, Steve sarcastically tells her,
“That file shows latitude and longitude of this place. Tch, why don’t you send your brother the coordinates and ask him to come help?” (2:20)
When Claire takes him completely seriously, he becomes prickly.
S: “Hey? I was just kidding? There’s no way he could get here, even if he is your brother.” C: “Yes he can; I’m sure of it.” S: “No way. He won’t come. You’ll just end up disappointed if you rely on others. Believe me, I know!”
Steve’s sudden anger and exit demonstrate how much this topic of “reliability” affects him. He’s vocal about his need for self-reliance – and yet, if we take his investigation in a positive light, it’s not like he’s completely selfish in his attempt to escape Rockfort.
Steve is someone who desperately wants to believe in human reliability, and yet has been spurned due to the circumstances of his imprisonment. We’ll see that he tries to emulate it himself, but unfortunately (and perhaps realistically) falls short.
Yet, what really nurtures this desire is Claire – someone who he can finally depend on. The pair’s next encounter comes when Steve is in trouble (if you’ve seen the “Steve is suffering” memes, it’s from this scene). The player hears him yell a pitiful “Help me!” as he bangs against a locked door – so much for relying on yourself.
If Claire solves the puzzle fast enough, Steve escapes and tells her, “That was too close. But I found something. Thanks to… you.” (3:44).
Thus begins the two’s shaky partnership – and believe me, it’s shaky. Steve runs off yet again, only agreeing to give Claire the essential golden lugers if she trades him something “fully automatic”. But Steve’s obviously on better terms with her now, as seen when he emphatically tells her, “See? This is why you need me. I got your back,” later (5:10). Quite cooperative for someone who was crowing about not relying on others.
In the midst of these scenes is a growing desire to look good to Claire – to be someone she can count on.
The knight fantasy – and bitter reality
Steve ends up describing his own motivation pretty well. Claire finds herself stuck with a nasty Bandersnatch, before Steve dramatically comes to her rescue (more on this in the next section). Afterwards, he eagerly proclaims the following:
S: “Oh yeah, that felt good! Don’t worry Claire, your knight in shining armor is here!” C: “You wish – but thanks for the help.” S: “See? This is why you need me. I got your back.” (4:54)
Steve wants Claire to see him as someone she can rely on – as a self-proclaimed knight to save her from the influx of zombies. It’s why he tells her to wait as he clears out the following area with his “new toy” (6:35). He wants to be the hero who saves the day – Claire might not be able to count on others, but she can sure count on him. He even states it outright afterwards:
“See? You can depend on me.” (6:58)
But maybe this is too blatant of a turn even for him, because he immediately backs off and instead mentions his guns instead:
“You see? This thing is a lot more reliable than any person.” (6:59)
Claire takes immediate suspicion of this, however, and starts to ask questions.
C: “Than people?” S: “…” C: “Steve, what were you doing here? Who brought you here, and where’s your family?” S: “Shut up – I don’t want to talk about it!” *shoots his gun at the wall* C: “Steve…” S: “Never mind. Let’s get going.” (7:04)
Note that he punctures this conversation with an angsty emptying of his gun magazine at the wall. This is no knight – this is volatile, teenage behavior. Claire can tell there’s something on his mind, but Steve doesn’t seem to be in the condition to explain anything.
Steve does the same thing four times – aka, analyzing entrances
As a brief interruption (but it ties into the rest, I promise), let’s take a chance to look at the different ways Steve barges into a cutscene. Humor aside, Steve’s physical actions vary across the four different times he comes to Claire’s “rescue”.
Bandersnatch (4:30)
The first rescue is all cliches and edge. Claire’s “knight in shining armor” breaks through a window dramatically. He shoots at the Bandersnatch without even directly aiming at him, walking forward as he shoots with his dual wielded lugers. It’s almost comical as he walks straight up to the Bandersnatch, delivering a kick and single killing shot for good measure.
It’s all impractical – Steve’s incessant wish to dual wield would hardly be effective in real life, let alone everything else here.  But this scene, cliche as it may be, reflects what Steve wants to be in front of Claire. He’s the action hero, the knight – the one who can be counted on to swoop in and save the day.
The Infamous Father Scene (8:13)
These heroics fail him once the two encounter his father. No longer is this a fantasy but bitter reality – and Steve can’t find it in him to shoot his infected dad. It’s only when Claire is in peril that he takes action – and this time, it’s impulsive and rough. He unloads all his ammo in a single, shaking shot, continuing to press the trigger even when it’s all gone.
It’s now that Steve tells Claire the full story – his father was caught trying to sell confidential Umbrella information, leaving his mother dead and the two of them locked up here. He morosely tells Claire, “He was a fool to do something so reckless! So stupid…” (10:15). We can see how much his father’s actions have impacted him – his desire for consistency comes from having his familial life ripped apart by the actions of someone he trusted dearly. And now, at the end of it, he is truly alone – the last one left in his family.
Alfred (11:07)
The next time we find Steve, we see a little bit of the Bandersnatch energy back in him – there’s the same aim, the same kick (to open the door) – but it’s less dramatic this time. There’s no slow-motion focus on shattered glass, no cocky final shot. In fact, this encounter leaves Steve visibly hurt – a crack in his armor. Steve’s still trying to be Claire’s dependable rescuer, and yet this encounter shows that he’s not the infallible knight he wishes to be. Far from it, considering the mistakes he'll make later on.
Alfred in Antarctica (21:30)
This cutscene skips forward a little, but it’s a nice final reminder that Steve does genuinely try his best to protect Claire, and succeeds! We see him take two stylish leaps and then shoot a quick few bullets to rescue her from Alfred. He’s still trying to emulate that knight image, but it’s more efficient than his Bandersnatch moment.
The Flight (and THAT SCENE)
After numerous troubles, Claire and Steve are finally able to escape the island. Needless to say, they’re elated and exhausted. Now that the coast is clear, Steve decides to get honest with Claire and apologize:
S: “Claire, I’m sorry. I know I caused a lot of trouble for you.” C: “No; it’s okay. It was hard for both of us.” S: “Well, I really hope you find your brother. I… I know what it’s like to be alone.” C: “Oh Steve…” S: *coughs awkwardly* “So, where should we go now? I can take you anywhere you want to go, Claire.” C: *laughs* “I hear Hawaii’s nice this time of year.” S: “You got it!” (14:20)
(On a personal note, isn’t this scene so cute? If only this was how it all ended…)
It’s here that Steve bares his heart to Claire. It’s clear that his mishaps and snarky remarks have been weighing on him too – he genuinely wants the best for her. When Claire is all too accepting and sympathetic, however, Steve begins to reveal his feelings (in… controversial ways).
After they find out that the plane is out of their control, the two of them take an uneasy rest. In the cutscene at 16:12, we find Claire leaning on Steve – a physical sign of how she relies on him. As if to follow his teenage impulses, Steve leans in for a kiss – only to startle as Claire begins to wake. His notion is thwarted immediately. Steve stands up,leans on the glass, slams the window and sighs.It shows signs of a “what was I thinking?” moment of clarity.
After all, kissing princesses in their sleep is something knights do in fairy tales. And Steve? Well, he’s no knight. He’s someone who’s almost hindered Claire’s escape as much as he’s helped, and he knows that. This thought is only exacerbated with his actions upon their arrival in Antarctica.
Antarctica, where more mistakes ensue
The plane decides to violently crashes into the side of the Umbrella Antarctica base. Steve kicks the door down and jumps first, reaching his arms out to catch Claire. She lands after, only to stumble and leave them both on the ground. Steve pulls her into a hug, which Claire doesn’t quite reciprocate. As she stands up, Steve lays back flat on the floor, sighing. It’s clear he’s jumped the gun, and it leaves him embarrassed. He doesn’t take Claire’s hand back up and tells her that they should split up to try and find a way out (18:55).
Steve’s love causes another mistake shortly after. The two of them try to break through the base wall with a digging vehicle, only for Steve to get distracted by Claire midway through. This causes a toxic gas pipe to burst – interestingly Steve tries to correct it through the controls – perhaps a reflection of his desires and fantasies for an “undo”. But in reality, he can’t undo his mistakes, and Claire is forced to grab him and leave the area.
This last mistake hits Steve particularly hard:
S: “It’s all my fault…” C: “Don’t say that. Listen to me – we’ll escape from here, together.” C: “Come on, we’ve got to shut off the gas. If we split up, we’ll have a better chance of stopping it.” S: *sighs* “…Okay.” C: “Steve. Don’t forget. We’ll get out of here. Together.” (20:45)
It’s not as if Steve is blind to his own faults – he knows that he’s been the one hindering their escape and takes it particularly hard. Claire has to reassure him multiple times that they’re working as a team to get out of here.
As a further blow to his ego, Steve is completely useless when the two exit the base and encounter Nosferatu, previous Alexander Ashford. Claire notices Nosferatu first, but Steve forces himself ahead of her soon after. He’s still clinging to the need to protect her.
However, Nosferatu easily knocks him off the platform, leaving him clinging to the side. Steve’s at his lowest here, and urges Claire to just leave him behind. If he can’t protect her, then what use is he?”
C: “Hold on, I’ll waste that monster and come back.” S: “Claire, forget about me. Run!” (23:50)
Claire’s resourcefulness and skill allow her to defeat Nosferatu and come back to Steve, still weakly hanging on. She pulls him back up, and Steve is left apologizing again for his rash behavior:
S: “I’m sorry. I failed you.” C: “Don’t worry about it. Let’s go.” *she leaves* S: “I swear I’ll protect you next time, Claire.” (25:15)
At this point, Steve’s all too aware of how his mistakes have left both of them in peril. It’s something that he deeply dislikes – as someone who wants to be dependable, he’s being a poor show of it. Claire’s been the one helping him out through most of this, both emotionally and physically. And so he makes himself a promise that next time, he’ll repay the favor.
It’s with this personal promise that the two climb aboard a snowmobile, hoping that they can make it to the Australia base. Unfortunately, this escape is a dead-end for them as well.
Sleep, weary knight
After Alexia awakens and destroys the snowmobile, Claire is rescued by Chris, who managed to find a way to Antarctica. She’s insistent that they must rescue Steve. She finds him cuffed to a chair in a long hallway, with an axe against his throat.
To Claire’s dismay, it seems she’s too late. Alexia has injected Steve with the t-Veronica virus. Steve’s last words before his transformation are a desperate plea for help. At this point, he’s actively asking for help from the one he loves, but fate has it that Claire is powerless. He begs Claire to save him, but she can only watch in despair as he morphs and chases after her.
In what seems to be a miracle of love, Steve manages to snap out of it just before he lands the killing blow. He instead slashes through Alexia’s entrapping vines, sparking her ire and a fatal blow to his chest. He dies in Claire’s arms, once again in human form, lamenting how he couldn’t protect her – how he couldn’t be her knight:
C: “Oh Steve…” S: *brings Claire’s hand to his cheek* “You’re… warm…” C: “Steve, you’ve got to hang in there, okay? My brother’s come to save us. We’re getting out of here!” S: “Your brother kept his promise. I’m sorry I cannot…” C: “What? What are you saying?” S: “I’m glad that I met you… I…. I love you… Claire…” C: “Steve? Steve?! Steve!” (34:15)
To players who dislike Steve, this may be a cheesy ending to a tedious character. And yet – we see Steve’s character arc complete fully in this final scene. No longer is he a volatile teenager, or a “cool” hero, or a self-perceived deadweight. He’s just Steve – utterly human Steve, who couldn’t keep his promise, and yet saved Claire in his own way. And it’s in these final, human, moments that he can confess his true feelings – only for everything – his façades, his love, everything – to all vanish.
The arm theory
As a somewhat lighter ending to this post, I’d like to discuss a little theory of mine.
People who have been following along with all the cutscenes might have noticed Steve’s right arm getting injured during the fight with Alfred. There’s no visual effect on his model, and Steve even claims, “I’m fine; it’s just a scratch” (11:30). And yet I’m convinced that it was quite a serious wound.
Note that he continues clinging to the platform in the Nosferatu battle with his left hand (24:40), not his right. Yet he keeps clutching his right arm in the cutscene after (25:44). And more importantly, Claire is the one driving the snowmobile during their escape attempt, after Steve had taken the wheel so many times prior (25:59). My theory is that the deterioration of his right arm is also why the arm is significantly skinnier upon his final transformation. If you look super closely at the bottom of the screen, you can actually see his right hand convulse as he mutates! Does this imply anything? Not really. But it would be cool to see this brought back somehow in a hypothetical remake, especially as Darkside Chronicles skipped these parts entirely. Kind of reminds me of another Resident Evil character who had arm injuries…
Anyway, if anyone made it this far, thank you! I hope this was a little insight into why I appreciate Steve so much as a character – and maybe in my wildest dreams, made you potentially enjoy him too.
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kazoosandfannypacks · 11 months
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any tips on making moodboards? I been trying & am not very good lol
*cracks knuckles* boy oh boy do I have some tips! or more like a walkthrough i guess?
The first step is to find a good app. I've found InShot to be simple to use (for photos, collages, and videos.) It's available on both android and apple, and while there is a paid version [which takes away ads, gives a few bonus filters, and removes the watermark from video files,] I've found it works just as well to use the paid version. It allows for many different layouts and canvas sizes, and up to nine images.
Next, find images! Think about what kind of moodboard you want to make, and think of some things that are iconic for it. For example, a Wonderland themed moodboard might include clocks and mushrooms and teacups, while a Rapunzel themed moodboard might include flower crowns and chalk drawings. I've found the best way to find an image to use is to google "[thing] aesthetic" or "[color] [thing] aesthetic." I've also found it can give the eye a nice break to include textures, like "[color] crochet blanket texture" or "wooden plank texture aesthetic." It gives your moodboards an almost palpable feel when put together properly.
Once you've found all the images you need, compile them into one image using the collage function on the app. Be sure to pick a layout and size you like. A basic 3 by 3 square is typical, but you can expand beyond that! Some layouts might even let you make some images cut off on the diagonal, or make one image larger than another. Also, this isn't insta; there's no law saying your moodboards have to be square- you could even make them the right size for a phone/computer wallpaper! Make sure to use the in-app crop feature to custom crop them so they're focused on exactly the part of the image you want them to be on. It also helps to rearrange images with a little symmetry (balancing similar colors, shapes, or patterns in opposite corners, thematic elements on opposite sides, ext.)
Next, edit each image. Yes, all of them. Yes, individually. No, don't just slap a filter on it. Trust me, this is so worth it! Here's a before and after of a moodboard's editing phase:
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Find whatever "adjust" button your application uses (on inshot it just says "adjust)" and then tap the individual image. Play around with the sliders until you get the look you want for it. This is probably the most time-consuming part of the process, but trust me, it's worth it! The unique, custom filtering of each image will make a difference.
I recommend playing around with the sliders until you find the ones you feel most comfortable with. I tend to use sharpen, vignette (VERY sparingly!) hue, saturation, tint (usually just for green or purple moodboards) warmth (especially for red, orange, or blue moodboards,) contrast, and lightness.
Once you've edited all the images in your moodboard, tap "save" to download it.
Now, most people would be finished right now, but not us! One of my top secrets to making moodboards is, once you've made your moodboard, edit the whole entire thing together- again, using the adjust sliders instead of filters. Editing the whole thing at once adds this rich, uniform feel to it, making it one collage instead of a bunch of images. As an example, here's a moodboard I've made, before and after the bonus filtering:
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Another thing I wanna say: whether you're posting on tumblr, insta, or pinterest (or all three, as I do, because I have too much free time,) you can always add alt text! Accessibility should be the standard, and when you add alt text, blind/vision impaired people who use screenreaders can know what your moodboard's about! If you don't know what to write in the alt text box, click the "alt" button on the above images, and you can read the description I used and base it off that!
Lastly, have fun! If moodboards aren't fun for you, don't feel pressured to make them! If you get a request for one you don't want to make, you're totally cool to deny it. Have a blast, babe!
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Glenn Loury: The answer I’m taking from you, to my question of how do we get to antisemitism, is that the world is divided into oppressors and victims. The oppressors are white, the victims are BIPOC.
Jews are white, ergo, Jews are oppressors. Palestinianss, I guess by extension of this kind of logic, are people of color, are incorporated somehow into the BIPOC coalition, so they are the victims.
And that’s their account of this conflict that has sued over the last 75 years since the founding of the state of Israel.
I guess I want to say about that, that is a gross oversimplification that actually betrays the responsibility to educate here, regardless of "whose side you’re on," we can get to figuring out what we want to say and what we want to do about the conflict and what’s wrong and what’s right. But let’s just understand the circumstance.
And that is ahistorical and ignorant and should be objected to strongly, should not be tolerated in an institution of higher education.
Tabia Lee: Yes, and unfortunately, Glenn, it’s not only being tolerated, it’s being held up as the only way to understand these geopolitical and world issues in many institutions. And if you even suggest that there’s other ways to view this, that we don’t have to view everything through a matrix of domination and oppression, even just saying that got me labelled as a pariah.
This is the environment that people are working in, and often you don’t hear about it because what happens for us as faculty members, we're advised, at least I was, by many mentors, you know, Lee, just resign. It’ll be like this never happened.
I could’ve taken that option. I could’ve done that. But I felt like there were people who were being very unprofessional bullies and gangsters in a learning environment. So, if I just disappear quietly and save myself, right, then I’m contributing to the problem as well. So that’s why I chose to go public. I knew the risks, I knew that I would probably never get another tenure track position.
Once I went public, hearing from people across the nation that it wasn’t just California. You know, sometimes people say, California, you guys are a little weird over there. That's just the California thing. This is happening all over the place.
==
"Another aspect of the construction of whiteness is the way certain groups have moved into or out of that race. For example, early in our history Irish, Jews, and Italians were considered nonwhite—that is, on a par with African Americans. Over time, they earned the prerogatives and social standing of whites by a process that included joining labor unions, swearing fealty to the Democratic Party, and acquiring wealth, sometimes by illegal or underground means. Whiteness, it turns out, is not only valuable; it is shifting and malleable." -- "Critical Race Theory (Third Edition)," Delgado & Stefancic
This, partly, gives the game away. "Whiteness" is so malleable that activists can decide that anything they don't like falls under this banner, just as they declared everyone to be a Nazi (before becoming Nazis themselves).
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plantsarepeopletoo · 1 year
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Only Friends Music Ep1 (1/2)
The prophecy episode
I am starting a series about the music of Only Friends, because I have noticed a ton of details, which I will attempt to put into words in a organized manner.
First, I wanted talk a little about the three ways I'm seeing music being used, these terms are just what I’ve been calling it in my head.
Just background music- It’s important and creates an atmosphere, like using Disco Frog for Mew and Cheum’s chat at the bar. These I will not use unless I see a theme or something important later.
Playing with Music- It’s like body language, the music will pause, start up, move along faster or slower. It's intentionally moving with what is happening on screen.
Verbal- Music that is telling us things. It could be songs that have names that seem important or have lyrics that may or may not be in the show. If there are lyrics I will include them, but will specify if they are in OF, and where they start and stop.
Master List here, in my pinned post. These will be long and probably split up, mostly because of lyrics and Music players. First two are a little weak here. Thank you @rocketturtle4 and @shouldiusemyname for helping me edit, lyrics, ideas, and organize my thoughts.
Ep1[1/4]
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Song: Unknown (Take All My Heart) Scene: Opening scene at the bar  Type: Verbal music
We start off with the music from the song Sand sings, maybe an original song? Don't know it but I don't know enough Thai songs. Only including it because it feels like it's something that will happen.
Because I know you are honest Someone like you I've never met Take it, take all of my heart It's all yours
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Song: Unknown Scene: Mew bumps into Top Type: Playing with music
I like how this song is repeating a riff, jamming away, there is a slight difference when Top stops Mew when Mew tries to clean up the spill, saying “It’s Ok”
Then the song settles down again until Ray drags Mew away, and it shifts to a faster part of the song and the scene shifts to Boston and his attempted hook up. Then it settles into the pattern again while Boston and the hookup talk. (I promise, it gets better, stick with me for a few, these are weak examples.)
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Song: Now we do it again by Duplex Heart Scene: Friends at hostel discussing if they can run it Type: Verbal
When the friends ask Boston if he knows a designer, he pauses and the song starts as he smiles. It continues into the next scene and fades as he walks into Nick’s IT store. There are no words in the show. But lets look at some lyrics:
Oh, you have the strangest way  Of loving someone  And it feels like it's all over  Before it has begun But when we do collide  We play no games  Don't you know that kind of love Must go down in flames Oh we should really  Leave this one alone  But it keeps coming back  Coming back, coming back Two hours on the floor  (You better wake me up, wake me up)  Band-Aid on a sore  (We gotta rip it off, rip it off)  Two lovers want more (You better shake me up, shake me up) It's such a hopeless situation  But we do it again 
It's about loving, or wanting someone, who isn’t good for you, the relationship won’t go anywhere, but still going back again. I do believe the song goes for Boston, wanting more of Top, but also a prophecy of Nick wanting more and more from Boston. 
Our two lovers, Nick and Boston, want more, it’s such a hopeless situation.
Themes(motifs?) Fire, games, things falling apart, and hopelessness.
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Song: Lurking Tiger by Ava Low Scene: Boston goes to get his phone fixed at Nick’s store Type: Verbal, playing
Boston catches Nick staring at his body while he was writing Mew's number down, leans forward and asks "What is your name?" Lurking Tiger’s bass starts. When Nick says "Happy to be of service"  the lyric-
I'm waiting here for you
Also who is the hunter here, really? Boston notices Nicks stare, did Nick actually need Boston to come back another day to fix his phone? Or was that a way to get Boston's name and to see him again.
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Song: Always Always by Akerman Scene: Top answers quiz question Type: Verbal
When Top answers the question right, the music starts, then lyrics start after Boston introduces Top to the friends
Be sure I can do this  All night, all night, all night I just want to stay like this  Always, always, always It's one thing to promise,  And It’s another to deliver
This is where the lyrics in the show stop Top’s side is the first 2 lines, maybe they’re both “I just want to stay like this” and the last two lines are from Mew. Or, continuing the theme of these songs being prophecy, it could be asking both of them if they can deliver on promises. Things will change, it will not be easy like this all the time.
Lyrics not in the show, continue:
Be sure I can do this  All night, all night, all night I just want to stay like this  Always, always, always It's one thing to promise,  And It’s another to deliver And you don't want it now that you got it, To hell with it, to hell with it, Oh it’s one thing to deny it,  But it’s another to be defined by it,  And you used to play with fire And you think that you can get away with it  ‘Cause you’re always in my head  Yeah you’re always in my bed  I just wanna know that it tastes  What a waste, what a waste, what a waste  I just wanna stay like this  Always, always, always  Heaven is an open door  But I wait, I just wait, I just wait  I just wanna know that it tastes  What a waste, what a waste, what a waste
"And you don't want it now that you got it" might be either of them, do either of them want what they think they want?
"And you used to play with fire, and you think you can get away with it" Mew could be playing with fire (Top, love, and sex), Or Top could be playing with fire by sleeping around with people who might be looking for more from the relationship (or going after Mew, specifically) . Or both.
“Heaven is an open door, but I wait.. I just wanna know that it tastes, what a waste” Heaven is right there, what you want is right there, but not following through and instead waiting.
Themes- Fire, wanting things to stay good, promises, lust, Heaven and hell
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Song: I'd like to love you by Psüche Scene: Top goes to dance with Mew Type: Verbal
The music starts when Top takes a drink and leaves Boston, and lyrics start when Top takes Mew’s hand on the dance floor
I know how, only now  We're in this game together  Take your time, make no vow
The game is on, it might be malicious, unintentional, real, or something else, I don't know, but the game is on. Top is doing what he does, Mew letting it happen. If we look at the rest of the lyrics, not in the show:
But hold me, like you do  Hold me, like you do  Hold me, like you do  Hold me  Dream now, dream wild In the end we're only echoes  Shine bright, fight the fight  Before we part, I'd like to love you
Asking to be held, to dream, but knowing it’s not going to last.  I was taking “Before we part, I’d like to love you” as Top wanting to have a one night stand. Or it could be from either of them, knowing the relationship probably won’t last, but wanting to try anyway. Given the context of what happened right before, Top getting excited about Mew’s virginity, it might not be the second. But if we’re looking at it as a prophecy, then it might be them shining bright and falling apart.
Themes - Games, promises, love/lust, wanting to be held.
Ep1[2/4]
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Song: Check for Pulse by Duplex Heart Scene: Top and Mew in Mew's Kitchen Type: Verbal
The first notes of the song start when Top downs the glass of water.  The lyrics are cut a bit, the first line "Here we go" is from the first verse and they put it at the beginning of the second, replacing it with "all the bad things" Lyrics start with Top moving in to kiss Mew. Here we go indeed. 
Here we go  Love can be All in the blind spot That we don't see Wipe the dirt  From your face  Dry your eyes  And I'll play the ace  Ride along, ride along  There's a place where you belong  Shake your ass, don't you worry  'Bout the future, 'bout the past  You will hurt the ones who love you  And they will hurt you right back Sing along, sing along  Our love is a heart attack  You better check for pulse (repeat)
I wanted to highlight the fact that it's intentional, the wording, picking out this verse, the timing. "You better check for pulse" repeats start when Top pulls himself up on top of Mew. 
Full lyrics:
Here we go Once again Four hail Marys Nine amen Don’t you worry It’s gonna be alright ‘Cause I’m the judge and jury And we be up all night You better check for pulse (repeat) All the bad things That love can be All in the blind spot That we don't see Wipe the dirt  From your face  Dry your eyes  And I'll play the ace  Ride along, ride along  There's a place where you belong  Shake your ass, don't you worry  'Bout the future, 'bout the past  You will hurt the ones who love you  And they will hurt you right back Sing along, sing along  Our love is a heart attack  You better check for pulse (repeat) If it's goodbye  Well don't be sad  Head up high  Come on wave your flag  We're all in this  Without a clue  In the madness  But what can you do?
"Love can be all in the blind spot that we don't see" Mew is ignoring Ray and Top’s tension, or choosing not to see it. He is not seeing Boston and Top’s glances at each other (thinking of a specific time in EP2, during the wakeboarding.) He’s choosing to see all the good things, only the things for his checklist. This song is going to come back to haunt us in the future.
Themes- love/lust, falling apart (love is a heart attack), Blind spot/not seeing because of love, hurting who we love, Heaven
Quick recap of Top and Mew having three songs with lyrics in them, They’ve just started their relationship
Always Always - wanting to stay like this, but "It's one thing to promise, another to deliver and now you don't want it"
I'd like to love you- Take your time, make no vow, Hold me, before we part, I'd like to love you.
Check for pulse- blind spots, You hurt the ones who love you, and they hurt you right back. Our love is a heart attack. 
These are not “Fluffy love songs”, they are warnings.
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Song: I am next to you by Alight The Night Scenes: Sand and Ray in the car/Sand's bathroom Type: Verbal/ Playful
A stripped down version of I Am Next To You plays after Mew asks if Top would like ice cream and continues into the scene where Sand is trying to figure out where Ray lives. As Sand gets Ray into the house, a few lyrics are sung
It's been a long time since we had it all  It's been a while since I was your
The cut part of the lyric is "your catcher in the rye" link to post about catcher in the rye vlogbrothers/crash course videos. They're short and sweet. I'll also have it on my pinned post for this.
According to Britannica.com… In the book, the catcher in the rye is a person who saves children from falling off a cliff (A metaphor for entering adulthood). The book ends with the main character realizing he can’t save everyone.
Wikipedia says "themes of angst and alienation, and as a critique of superficiality in society. The novel also deals with complex issues of innocence, identity, belonging, loss, connection, sex, and depression."
I'm sure a few (or all) of these themes are ideas that Ray and Sand could connect with. 
But Sand is probably going to learn he can’t save everyone, or even himself. Empathy *is* a finite resource and sometimes you need to learn who to give it to.
Looking at the full lyrics-
I've always been the one to carry you home  Always been the one to catch you  All the things we've done  When everything went down  I know we are never gonna get enough  And maybe it's better to let it go  We'll never be the same  Tell me what you're going through  Won't you tell me, all the things that you do  Tell me, make your wish come true  I know that everyone is sorry next to you  And I am next to you  It's been a long time since we had it all  It's been a while since I was your catcher in the rye  And now it's gone  We don't even seem to care at all  But maybe it's better to move along  We'll always be the same  All this time I wondered, now I realize  Let me reach out to you  Tell me what you're going through  Won't you tell me, all the things that you do  Tell me, make your wish come true  I know that everyone is sorry next to you  And I am next to you  And I am next to you
Song is about taking care of someone, but that someone does not realize it and is not seeing the person standing right next to them. Pleading with someone to just tell them what’s wrong, or talk to them. Which mirrors a song Ray sings, more on that in the EP2 post. Looking at this as something that is and will happen, Sand is already saving Ray from himself, he is going to try to be Rays savior. He already can't resist the puppy dog eyes Ray gave him when he was drunk in the car at the bar. Come back to this song with Ray and Sand in future episodes.
Themes- Wanting to be seen, Talking/Communicating, Saving, things falling apart.
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Song: Go Quiet by Torii Wolf Scene: Top and Mew are eating ice cream/in bed Type: Verbal/Playful
There is a soft acoustic guitar that plays until Top asks if he stay the night, there is a pause in the music while Mew says Yes, but they’re not going to do anything. Top asks “how about a cuddle” and Go Quiet starts after Mew says ok. The next scene Top and Mew are in bed, the lyrics “Come and tell me…” happen as Mew is rolling over, almost as an invitation. Which Top takes.
Come and tell me  What you need to know  We can stoke it  And make it grow come and ask me  What you want to know  And we can go from here  Our world just keeps turning  And here I am still learning 
The lyrics not in the show continue:
And here I am still learning  About  What it is that you need  What it is you’d bleed for  Longing and yearning  Deeply burning  For you  Are you staying with me  Help me feed it  Slow down Let our minds go quiet now  No sound  Let our hands do the talking now  Do You see how  This fire grows  Rapid  Nobody knows  How it started  Or where it will go  I can’t stop now  Baby no  Are you staying with me  Tell me you need it  Slow down Let our minds go quiet now  No sound  Let our hands do the talking now
First part is about talking to someone, getting to know them, and “stoking the fire”. Learning about them. As it continues into the part not said in the show, it’s about talking and learning about the other person to grow their desire, until they can let their minds go quiet and let the desire take over. Which could be very much what Mew wants. He’s asked Top if he knew him well enough to know that Mew’s apartment fit him. He wants to grow a relationship, not just have sex. On Top’s side, he needs to sleep with someone to let his mind go quiet, more in EP2.
Nobody knows  How it started  Or where it will go  I can’t stop now  Baby no  Are you staying with me  Tell me you need it 
Also this part especially "Are you staying with me or are we temporary" is like the bookstore question in the second half of ep1.
Themes: fire, growing, lust, yearning
Part 2 of Episode 1 here
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nifflering · 4 months
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Part two Beware spoilers for life on mars series one and two
Hello, hello, hello (some brainrotted fellows will understand this reference) Welcome to another edition of
*me rambling at you about life on mars (the UK version)*
Most important thing: this is my interpretation/analysis.
So, these are my personal, quite uneducated opinions. Also: I bought the series on DVD. No one will be safe.
Today, we'll be talking about the usage of colours in lom in general. If I do start and finish a rewatch and find some interesting scenes – I will add my commentary on them.
Like I already said many times before – there aren’t really many scenes in 2006/2007.
The shooting script of the first episode (I found it while floundering around on the waybackmachine) originally includes a scene in Sam and Maya’s appartement. (Context my beloved: Sammy boy is being kind of an ass, too busy with his job to solve his issues with Maya. She attempts talking to him but fails. I don’t know why they deleted it, because it would have really provided more context to their relationship and – most importantly, for my cause, a sneak peek of their apartment – I imagine it as very clean and kind of impersonal, a few personal touches, Maya’s attempt to brighten up the place. I think they’re both really busy, they started decorating but then Sam became DCI and he got too busy to use the apartment for anything except for sleeping. #Overwhelmed king)
Anyway, let’s take a look at.... a shot that to me represents a big theme of the show and some ✨️colors✨️.
After Sam gets hit by the car , he wakes up in this construction site with a poster of the soon to come high way. An image of the Future.
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There’s a really distinct difference between the colour palates. The “future” sky is a nice light-blue, not a cloud to be seen, with some touches of orange and green. Everything is all white, clean and perfect – and it’s all coming soon(er or later).
Of course, it’s a very idealized version of the future. Because it’s how Sam perceives it – at this point in time, he’s very desperate to return.
(Just look at the scene where he first gets contacted through the math programme through the TV. The way Sam crawls towards the TV….. SIR, YOUR ACTING CHOICES. PLEAAASEEE.)
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But it’s still surprisingly accurate. However, the idealistic picture of the future is quickly shattered, if you consider that – let’s squint our eyes - to see little Sam’s limp body lying on the ground. Surprisingly, in the 1970s we don’t really see a person being hit by a car (as far as I can remember - except Sam ofc)- But – let’s be honest in 1973 the streets are just every ground that is remotely driveable on.
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The past still contains traces of those colours, mostly orange as seen in the dirty underneath the bridge. The air is heavy and greyish, trash and building material is littered on the ground.
The only bits of white are the high-flats in the background, but they are far far away.
Those buildings and streets are still being built – everything’s in flux. Things can change. But, should they? Sam is generally really unsure in that whole department but that’s the thing about it:
We never actually find out, (side note: I haven’t yet seen ashes to ashes) if Sam’s choices actually make an impact in the present. It certainly gives you the impression – his father staying away, his mentor teaching him those lessons, Maya’s birth, etc. etc.. But does it really matter in the end?
Or is it just all in his head? Is he still Sam Tyler in a hospital bed in 2006 or is he an amnesiac Sam Williams in 1973 on an undercover operation?
In the past, there are several buildings – bound to Sam Tyler’s identity, and which I will be further explaining in another ramble.
Let’s get back to colours. Two examples where a similar concept applies: The interrogation room and the general office space of the police department.
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The room is flooded with light – courtesy of the huge windows (side note: privacy??? What’s that?). The situation is very transparent as the interrogation is literally being recorded. The person being interrogated has their whole support team with them, including lawyer, social worker and psychiatrist. This scenario is as by the books as you can get it.
I also really like that little shot of Sam adjusting the pens, character go brr.
Same thing in the general offices – a 2010s fever dream with all those clunky computers – which school computer lab have you magically transported me to?
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Imagine the absolute horror that Sam feels when he sees the past police department.
Look at it
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Without considering the lighting and furniture, the room looks sort of modern – it has a lot of windows and could be causing the same effect as the interrogation room on a visitor.
The officers are working diligently and carefully through every case and issue – investigating every clue and they never rest until they catch the perpetrator.
But that’s wishful thinking - In reality (at least in the past)the room is tinged with brownish yellow lighting, there’s no order to the tables, paper strewn all over the desks and even spending a second in this room will lead you to smelling like smoke for the next 55 years. I would faint. And I’m not even talking about the consequences of not being a white straight guy….
This police department doesn’t even have an interrogation room, they also rarely record any interrogations (leaving a lot of room for interpretation or using some creativity to catch the suspect or get an important lead) and mishandle, don't notice or even collect crucial evidence.
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In the lost and found
Even asking for a lawyer – leads to being laughed at and insulted by the literal governor of the department. It’s quite dark and very cramped – it’s quite private – so no one will notice you beating up an innocent person….
But I still feel the office feels very lived in.
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There’s a giant dart board, random trophies, dirty dishes strewn about… Good luck getting your case solved. Where’s the evidence that could solve your murder? It’s probably buried under some spicy magazines and a bunch of cigarette buds.
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For all the time the police spend at the office, they sure do know when to stop and start going to the pub.
One scene in the later seasons – in the episode about the false imprisonment of the teenager who murdered his younger girlfriend, Gene Hunt is determined to catch her killer for good. He’s made a promise to her father and he’s willing to do almost everything to make his city a safer place (any means necessary). He urges the police men to do anything they can, work day and night and not sleep a wink until they’ve put the right person in prison.
And then, he peeks at his watch and drops everything because they need to get drunk in the pub.
and that's it, hope you enjoyed :)
BONUS: have some cinematic shots
For u @roxannepolice <3
featuring: desperation, isolation and crippling loneliness
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lom 1
lom 2
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rainbowsky · 1 year
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hay rainbow,
Dis u see this?Its so hilarious
twitter.com/LiLi_Rksa/status/1640384000370810882?s=20
Yes, as a matter of fact I did.
Fake, fan fiction, CPN.
Along with this clip. And it is something I want to address because I think this is a very important issue for all turtles to be conscious of.
I am referring to the way that video clips can be used to manipulate and mislead people. While I think it's likely the 'eyeroll' clip you shared was edited, even actual, real-time unedited footage can be misleading. A segment of action is selected in a way that removes context and gives an impression that might not be accurate.
I have another clip I want everyone to take a look at, one that is not being shared in turtle circles - one that paints an entirely different picture of what's happening. I think it would be pretty difficult for people to look at this clip and claim that GG and YZ don't get along, or that GG was avoiding being near her.
So, just a bit of a reality check and reminder for turtles - myself included, as I was taken in by one of the clips - that we must always thoroughly investigate claims, particularly negative ones, before buying into them. Very often we are being misled.
Now, that's not always intentional. Someone might just see something happening in some footage and get angry and interpret it in a certain way, and then share it with others, completely not realizing that they aren't seeing the whole story. But the narrative gets written and reinforced and we all go along for the ride.
So what is really happening on that stage?
Well, it looks to me like GG and YZ are getting along fine. It's possible they agreed to appear together in the final shot, maybe to appease those who voted them to be Weibo king and queen (they were chosen in the vote by a wide margin but likely didn't want the dubious honor again).
From what I can see they appear happy to do so, and I don't see any animosity or contempt between them. The idea that GG hates her is a popular turtle narrative that I think is clearly incorrect. And I vastly prefer the idea they are friends to the idea that GG is being plagued by someone he hates.
And a dear friend pointed out to me yesterday that there's likely a more charitable explanation for the guy manhandling GG in that one clip as well.
As we may already know, it's a cultural thing for people in China to be almost competitively modest, trying to defer to the other person, step aside and let others in front of them, etc. We see GG and YZ doing that to each other at the foot of the stairs to the stage. DD also did this as he was taking the stage that night, and he frequently does this with trying to bow deeper than other people, etc.
And as my friend pointed out, it looks like GG was doing that a bit with the guy directing traffic - modestly trying to let others ahead of him so that he wouldn't end up standing at the center of the stage (the place of honor).
It's possible that man was just nudging GG to his rightful place near the center (where the Weibo producers would have wanted him as one of the most popular stars of the night) rather than let him bow away from the spotlight. I hadn't even noticed that there was this weird light sign thing that they were all posing behind, I wasn't really paying attention to that, but the Weibo producers would have wanted him near the center for their photos.
I think the 'modesty' interpretation is much more charitable, and given all the evidence I think that we should at least consider the possibility that's what happened there.
I think CPN and personal interpretations are totally fine - everyone gets to decide their own take on things. HOWEVER, I think we need to be very careful about what sort of picture we paint of GG and DD, what kind of people we claim them to be at the very least. This turtle narrative of GG hating YZ often paints GG as a vindictive, angry, even rude person.
For example, there was a turtle claim that GG kicked the hem of YZ's dress in anger and moved it out of his way, when it's far more likely - and far more in character for GG - that he moved the hem out of the way so that it wouldn't be stepped on. It's more likely that he was being a gentleman and looking out for the safety of another person. He would do that for anyone, we know that about him.
And aside from what we claim about GG and DD, we should also strive to be fair and honest about the people around them. I've said this about Du Hua and about Meng Ziyi, and now I'm saying it about Yang Zi - we need to stop piling hate on the women around GG and DD. It's so toxic and so misogynistic.
I need to be clear that I'm not condemning anyone who has felt those things (nor am I judging Anon). I myself have fallen prey to some of that. We are all just doing our best based on the information we have. But I feel that - for myself anyway - when we're presented with unadulterated evidence that we were wrong, we need to revise our position based on that and admit where we were wrong.
We also can't be constantly threatened every time a woman comes within ten feet of GG or DD. I see this happen a lot with turtles. We shouldn't be so insecure. We know GG and DD love each other, and that these women are just friends and colleagues.
I've always felt it's so sexist that women are treated that way, to be honest. Like they can't be friends with men without it being treated as something more. And then everyone wonders why men and women struggle to understand each other and get along well. Maybe if they were actually able to socialize freely with one another without it being treated as sexual or romantic, maybe they'd be better at connecting with one another.
Gender role heteronormativity is such a negative force. Let's try to keep ourselves in check, and look out for the ways that it might be encroaching on our own interpretations.
Just my two cents about it.
EDIT: Follow-up post here.
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nickmaghighlights · 1 year
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Nick Mag Highlights - Nick Mag Presents: Danny Phantom (Fall 2005)
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Well, well, well, fancy meeting you here. Welcome back to my blog and the words that inhabit it. Today, Halloween comes early this year when we read through another exciting issue of Nickelodeon Magazine Presents, this time all about Danny Phantom. Boo! Trick-or-Treat! Deck the halls!
And not only is this edition of Nick Mag Highlights spooky, it’s also… pretty chill. Y’know? Just takin’ it easy, reading a handful of comics and probably a crossword puzzle or something. As much as I love researching the kind of stuff Nickelodeon Magazine includes in its articles, sometimes it’s nice to sit back and take things at face value and just see what the state of Nickelodeon was like at any given time, and these short-and-sweet issues of Nick Mag Presents are the perfect venue for just that.
But why exactly am I tackling this purportedly Halloween-themed issue in August? Well, mainly it’s because that new Danny Phantom graphic novel just came out… two weeks ago (oops). And I really enjoyed it! So I’ve since been in a big Danny Phantom mood lately. I even ended up re-watching the whole first season and had a blast doing so. This show was a real obsession of mine as a kid, so maybe this blog post is also a way for me to give it its dues.
This issue can be found online here, read along… if you dare!
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Another Nick Mag Presents, another humorously wordy introduction. If you’re unfamiliar, basically all these Presents-styled issues have a panel on the first page with a character essentially advertising the book to you and talking about all the comics and activities included inside. This one here features Danny and an understandably perturbed ghost, for example. 
Since these issues were usually sold in stores as opposed to through a mail subscription, I suppose this is the issue’s way of hooking you in and explaining to you why you should buy it. I think a kid would probably be more inclined to just flip through the book and arrive at the same conclusion, but I guess this approach doesn’t hurt anybody.
But anyway, let’s see here… aw, only two wholly new comics? The Fairly Oddparents-themed issue I took a look at previously had five original comics. That’s a bummer, but at least we’ve still got variety… SpongeBob, My Life as a Teenage Robot, and The Wild Thornberrys, oh my! Even Tak makes an appearance here, two years before the premiere of his actual Nickelodeon cartoon, meaning this was an attempt to interest readers in the then-recently released video game: Tak 3: The Great Juju Challenge. Not sure if that worked.
And if you’ll take a look at that yellow, spiky bubble with words on the right there, this September 2005 issue is meant to coincide with the then-upcoming two episode-long Danny Phantom special, “The Ultimate Enemy”, which featured Danny taking on a more powerful version of himself from the future. Seems like the included removable poster is even themed around that very episode! Let’s just hope that poster is still left intact, eh?
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So first up, we’ve got a page to get you up to speed on the main cast if you’re new to the show. It’s even got some new factoids for the already familiar superfans! For example: Did you know Sam is into anime? I sure didn’t.
Oh, and if you’re wondering where series villain Vlad Masters is, don’t worry, they go over him later on in the book.
On the right you’ll find an easy if not slightly amusing word puzzle, which tasks you with solving questions where each answer contains the word boo. Simple enough for a kid while still being worth the time, methinks.
Although all the stock ghost art on the page gets me wondering, how come most of the ghosts in the show manifest as typical-looking cartoon ghosts while others manifest in a human form? I guess maybe it comes down to the strength of your spirit. Who’s to say?
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You’ve met the characters, now it’s time to meet the voices behind them! I’ll always take a side of interviews with my Nickelodeon Magazine, and this is no exception. The questions are cute, and I had fun reading them. Not much to say.
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So we’re finally here at the first comic of the issue, and… not really a fan of this one! Yeah, sorry to start this retrospective off on a sour note but this isn’t really doing it for me. The main villain of this one is Youngblood, who already isn’t exactly one of my favorite villains from the series. But here they’ve got him and all the other characters stuck in a pretty by-the-numbers plot where Danny and co. get stuck babysitting the brat while he tries to maim them, with them of course unable to fight back lest they face the wrath of his parents (who are humongous lizard monsters, for some reason). 
If you’re even a little familiar with cartoons you’ve probably already seen quite a few takes on this formula already. And even if you like Youngblood as a character they don’t have him doing his usual pirate shtick he’s remembered for, so I’m not sure what anyone is getting out of this, really. What's especially not helping is that this goes on for ten pages, further dragging out an already tired concept. 
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So there you have it, I guess. Done-to-death story with accordingly done-to-death jokes, a lame villain, and about two pages of action. I will say though, Danny and Tucker’s babysitting poster on page 2 did get a smile out of me, at least.
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You’ve met the characters, and you’ve also met the voices behind them, now it’s time to meet… the rest of the characters! The villain ones! These guys really made the show for me, cause the team behind the show really just seemed to understand the assignment and made all of them really unique and memorable.
So we can see they’ve been ranked in terms of how dangerous they all are, which is a fun idea. ‘Course you’ve got Vlad at the top of, but then there’s Technus just behind him? I can’t say I remember him being notably more dangerous than any of the other baddies, I’m fairly certain he gets swept up at the end of his specific episode just like all the rest. I’m pretty sure Valerie gave Danny a bigger run for his money, and she’s down at #3.
Woah now, I’m starting to scrutinize the power levels of cartoon characters. Cartoon characters from a show I haven’t even fully watched all the way through since I was a kid, no less. Better put a stop to that before it gets ugly.
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Cool little cartoons on the left there, that one on the top right is properly devious and I’m all for it. All the art is quite lovely too.
The right is… well, it’s Mad Libs, there’s no other way around it. Y’know the Mad Libs website refers to itself as “the world’s greatest word game” but I seriously think they need to take that up with Scrabble, or hell, even Hangman. Yeah I was never a big fan of this kind of fill-in-the-blanks stuff, but I guess it’s a pretty inoffensive activity to include.
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Check out Danny’s dad rocking that emo hair.
And now we’ve made it to the second and last new comic for the issue, and unfortunately it’s only a two-pager. But hey, if my thoughts on the previous ten-page comic said anything, it was that I prefer quality over quantity. And this one is… okay. It’s funny enough, does what all it needs to with the concept, and it definitely doesn’t overstay its welcome. I’m again surprised by the lack of action in both of these comics, considering Danny Phantom is an action show, after all, but it’s not like the show wasn’t a comedy either, so it’s not that weird.
I guess while we’re here I could nitpick it a bit. The lineart here courtesy of series creator Butch Hartman* is a bit wonky at times. There’s the aforementioned emo hair Danny’s dad is wearing, but my main gripe is that dog robot just doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the artstyle. It being the only new original character design for this comic as well doesn’t seem like a coincidence to me. I guess the team was fine with whatever Hartman drew because he made the show after all, so surely he knows what he’s doing, right?*
*Insert obligatory comment about how much of a loser Butch Hartman is here.
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Just want to give a shoutout to this pretty creative puzzle here. It actually stumped me a little when I first read it! Those monster designs are pretty entertaining too. Solid activity overall.
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Next up it’s an installment of Sam Shade, which was a short-lived recurring series in Nickelodeon Magazine. Apparently the series ran from 2002 to 2005, so this may be one of the last times a Sam Shade comic was ever printed in a Nick Magazine. 
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These comics mainly consist of the titular Detective Sam Shade trying to solve some mystery, sleuthing around the area in a series of detailed, wordy scenes. Likewise, you as the reader are as well tasked with scouring the pages for clues to help deduce the culprit. Each panel here smoothly moves into the next, making for something like a Where’s Waldo puzzle but with an actual narrative. It’s a really good idea! A shame this series didn’t last longer.
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Hey, is that Carl from Jimmy Neutron on the bottom right there?
Pretty nice My Life as a Teenage Robot comic here. Although that’s kind of unfortunate in a way, since that means I haven’t got much to talk about! It’s pretty much a 1-to-1 translation from animation to comic here. The artstyle and writing are both on point, it’s all just in a shorter, more paper-y format.
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I wonder why the aliens’ speech bubble has flowers in it. Is that a theater reference, maybe?
The design of these fiery aliens are particularly awesome - simple but effective. I’m surprised they used such a cool design in a comic that was going to be seen by way less people as opposed to using it in the cartoon. Man, this show is so cool, even its supplementary media is stylish!
But anyway, do you want to know how this story ends? Read it yourself!
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Ohh man, I distinctly remember this comic. I don’t remember what issue of Nickelodeon Magazine this one is sourced from, but whichever one it was, I had it. The story’s nothing to write home about really, It's another take on the age old tale of “Squidward yells at SpongeBob and Patrick for doing something annoying, so they inadvertently ruin his life”. Squidward must have a really good lawyer for him to be able to bounce back from all the crap SpongeBob and Pat get him into.
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This version of the usual story has S. Bob and P. Rick making a cake in Squidward’s image. Mr. Krabs ends up mistaking it for the real Squidward, bringing it to the Krusty Krab, and having it run the cash register, obviously to disastrous results. It’s all pretty par for the course, and there’s some funny lines to be had.
Weirdly though, unless I’m blind, I can’t seem to find any credits for this one. Not in the comic itself or at the back of the book. I’m pretty sure the artist(s) behind this one did more SpongeBob SquarePants comics though, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the same writing team had a hand in them too. I distinctly remember one where all the characters turn into desserts. Or maybe it was an alternate universe where they’re all desserts? Something like that. Maybe I’ll find it and cover it on this blog someday!
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And up next, it’s a Wild Thornberrys comic of all things (said with feigned surprise, having read the table of contents moments ago). And I’m just now realizing none of these comics have anything to do with ghosts, or horror, really. Quite the magazine you’ve got just in time for October, Nickelodeon!
But hey, it’s not right to judge a piece of art specifically by the context in which it is presented. Especially when it was originally published in a magazine that likely came out years earlier, probably not even around the month of October. Desperate times call for desperate measures and all that, even when it comes to filling the pages of a magazine.
This comic is especially cool, anyway, as you can no doubt tell from its distinct shakeup in style!
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The story has Eliza receiving some gifts from her Japanese friend, Mayumi (who was probably in the show, presumably), one of those gifts being a homemade manga. And while I’m not exactly an expert on the Japanese arts, I certainly find this art convincing and really appreciate the attention to detail. I bet any kids that were fans of manga around this time must have felt pretty seen to have one of their hobbies referenced in a rather unlikely place, and with such attention to detail no less.
One thing I can also appreciate is that this story really isn’t something they could have pulled off in the show itself (unless they studio really wanted to have an anime-themed episode and go through the undertaking of doing an episode in an entirely different, foreign animation style all on their usual budget), so overall this is a really fun idea done quite flawlessly. My only gripe is we don’t get to see a manga-styled Nigel Thornberry, but what can you do?
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Oh boy, the Tak comic, cool. Now, I know these games have their fans, but I can’t say I’m one of them. I did watch the show a bit though, but I’ve heard it has nothing to do with the games, so I guess that makes me rather unprepared to tackle this two-page comic on an intellectual, researched level. I will say though that I think the Sam Shade comic from earlier pulled off this style of free-flowing, no-panel storytelling to a much greater effect. The amount of Taks they threw around the page makes it feel really busy and cramped, and they had to essentially remove the second character Tak is traveling with from the story since I guess they were strapped for page space.
But yeah, the colors are nice at least, and Tak media is especially hard to come by nowadays, so I suppose if I were more into the property, I might be more into this.
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Last comic of the day, and it’s Jimmy Neutron. At least this one kinda fits the theme, I mean, aliens are almost in the same horror-league as vampires, zombies, ghosts, and all that. This is a pretty quality one to end off the book with, and in regards to Jimmy Neutron, this is one of the better ways these characters have been translated to 2D. Although the incredibly warm colors and harsh shadows throw me for a loop. Pretty good overall!
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Before we wrap things up, I would like to mention that advert for The Nicktoons Film Festival on the right. I totally forgot these used to be a thing! From 2004 to 2009 Nickelodeon hosted a film festival and let viewers vote for their favorite animated short, along with letting proper animation people who know what they’re talking about vote on their favorites, too. Lots of great up-and-coming cartoonists took part in these festivals. This one in 2005 actually featured a short by J. G. Quintel that eventually was used as a basis for his own Cartoon Network show, Regular Show! You can check the short out below:
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Neat bit of history there, yeah?
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Even though I’m still a bit disappointed this issue didn’t include more original content, I still think this ended up being a fairly entertaining walk down memory lane. And hey, I hope you had a good time too. I’m doubly disappointed, however, that the archive of this issue didn’t come with that tear-out poster! Now we’ll never see it in its full hi-def glory.
As always, thanks for stopping by and checking out another bit of Nick history with me. Have yourself a good one, and I’ll see you all next time!
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benetnvsch · 1 year
Text
ADDRESSING TWITTER'S TOS/POLICY IN REGARDS TO ARTISTS AND AI
Hi !! if you're an artist and have been on twitter, you've most likely seen these screen shots of twitters terms of service and privacy policy regarding AI and how twitter can use your content
I want to break down the information that's been going around as I noticed a lot of it is unintentionally misinformation/fearmongering that may be causing artists more harm than good by causing them to panic and leave the platform early
As someone who is an artist and makes a good amount of my income off of art, I understand the threat of AI art and know how scary it is and I hope to dispel some of this fear regarding twitter's TOS/Privacy policy at least. At a surface level yes, what's going on seems scary but there's far more to it and I'd like to explain it in more detail so people can properly make decisions!
This is a long post just as a warning and all screenshots should have an alt - ID with the text and general summary of the image
Terms of Service
Firstly, lets look at the viral post regarding twitter's terms of service and are shown below
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I have seen these spread a lot and have seen so many people leave twitter/delete all their art/deactivate there when this is just industry standard to include in TOS
Below are other sites TOS I found real quick with the same/similar clauses! From instagram, tiktok, and even Tumblr itself respectively, with the bit worded similar highlighted
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Even Bluesky, a sight viewed as a safe haven from AI content has this section
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As you can see, all of them say essentially the same thing, as it is industry standard and it's necessary for sites that allow you to publish and others to interact with your content to prevent companies from getting into legal trouble.
Let me break down some of the most common terms and how these app do these things with your art/content:
storing data - > allowing you to keep content uploaded/stored on their servers (Ex. comments, info about user like pfp)
publishing -> allowing you to post content
redistributing -> allowing others to share content, sharing on other sites (Ex. a Tumblr post on twitter)
modifying -> automatic cropping, in app editing, dropping quality in order to post, etc.
creating derivative works -> reblogs with comments, quote retweets where people add stuff to your work, tiktok stitches/duets
While these terms may seems intimidating, they are basically just tech jargon for the specific terms we know used for legal purposes, once more, simply industry standard :)
Saying that Twitter "published stored modified and then created a derivative work of my data without compensating me" sounds way more horrible than saying "I posted my art to twitter which killed the quality and cropped it funny and my friend quote-tweeted it with 'haha L' " and yet they're the same !
Privacy Policy
This part is more messy than the first and may be more of a cause for concern for artists. It is in regards to this screenshot I've seen going around
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Firstly, I want to say that that is the only section in twitter's privacy policy where AI /machine learning is mentioned and the section it is is regarding how twitter uses user information.
Secondly, I do want to want to acknowledge that Elon Musk does have an AI development company, xAI. This company works in the development of AI, however, they want to make a good AGI which stands for artificial general intelligence (chatgpt, for example, is another AGI) in order to "understand the universe" with a scientific focus. Elon has mentioned wanting it to be able to solve complex mathematics and technical problems. He also, ofc, wants it to be marketable. You can read more about that here: xAI's website
Elon Musk has claimed that xAI will use tweets to help train it/improve it. As far as I'm aware, this isn't happening yet. xAI also, despite the name, does NOT belong/isn't a service of Xcorp (aka twitter). Therefore, xAI is not an official X product or service like the privacy policy is covering. I believe that the TOS/the privacy policies would need to expand to disclaim that your information will be shared specifically with affiliates in the context of training artificial intelligence models for xAI to be able to use it but I'm no lawyer. (also,,,Elon Musk has said cis/cisgender is a slur and said he was going to remove the block feature which he legally couldn't do. I'd be weary about anything he says)
Anyway, back to the screenshot provided, I know at a glance the red underlined text where it says it uses information collected to train AI but let's look at that in context. Firstly, it starts by saying it uses data it collects to provide and operate X products and services and also uses this data to help improve products to improve user's experiences on X and that AI may be used for "the purposes outlined in this policy". This means essentially just that is uses data it collects on you not only as a basis for X products and services (ex. targeting ads) but also as a way for them to improve (ex. AI algorithms to improve targeting ads). Other services it lists are recommending topics, recommending people to follow, offering third-party services, allowing affiliates etc. I believe this is all the policy allows AI to be used for atm.
An example of this is if I were to post an image of a dog, an AI may see and recognize the dog in my image and then suggest me more dog content! It may also use this picture of a dog to add to its database of dogs, specific breeds, animals with fur, etc. to improve this recommendation feature.
This type of AI image, once more, is common in a lot of media sites such as Tumblr, insta, and tiktok, and is often used for content moderation as shown below once more
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Again, as far as I'm aware, this type of machine learning is to improve/streamline twitter's recommendation algorithm and not to produce generative content as that would need to be disclaimed!!
Claiming that twitter is now using your art to train AI models therefore is somewhat misleading as yes, it is technically doing that, as it does scan the images you post including art. However, it is NOT doing it to learn how to draw/generate new content but to scan and recognize objects/settings/etc better so it can do what social media does best, push more products to you and earn more money.
(also as a small tangent/personal opinion, AI art cannot be copywritten and therefore selling it would be a very messy area, so I do not think a company driven by profit and greed would invest so much in such a legally grey area)
Machine learning is a vast field , encompassing WAY More than just art. Please don't jump to assume just because AI is mentioned in a privacy policy that that means twitter is training a generative AI when everything else points to it being used for content moderation and profit like every other site uses it
Given how untrustworthy and just plain horrible Elon Musk is, it is VERY likely that one day twitter and xAI will use user's content to develop/train a generative AI that may have an art aspect aside from the science focus but for now it is just scanning your images- all of them- art or not- for recognizable content to sell for you and to improve that algorithm to better recognize stuff, the same way Tumblr does that but to detect if there's any nsfw elements in images.
WHAT TO DO AS AN ARTIST?
Everyone has a right to their own opinion of course ! Even just knowing websites collect and store this type of data on you is a valid reason to leave and everyone has their own right to leave any website should they get uncomfortable !
However, when people lie about what the TOS/privacy policy actually says and means and actively spread fear and discourage artists from using twitter, they're unintentionally only making things worse for artists with no where to go.
Yes twitter sucks but the sad reality is that it's the only option a lot of artists have and forcing them away from that for something that isn't even happening yet can be incredibly harmful, especially since there's not really a good replacement site for it yet that isn't also using AI / has that same TOS clause (despite it being harmless)
I do believe that one day xAI will being using your data and while I don't think it'll ever focus solely on art generation as it's largely science based, it is still something to be weary of and it's very valid if artists leave twitter because of that! Yet it should be up to artists to decide when they want to leave/deactivate and I think they should know as much information as possibly before making that decision.
There's also many ways you can protect your art from AI such as glazing it, heavily watermarking it, posting links to external sites, etc. Elon has also stated he'll only be using public tweets which means privating your account/anything sent in DMS should be fine!!
Overall, I just think if we as artists want any chance of fighting back against AI we have to stay vocal and actively fight against those who are pushing it and abandon and scatter at the first sign of ANY machine learning on websites we use, whether it's producing generative art content or not.
Finally, want to end this by saying that this is all just what I've researched by myself and in some cases conclusions I've made based on what makes the most sense to me. In other words, A Lot Could Be Wrong ! so please take this with a grain of salt, especially that second part ! Im not at all any AI/twitter expert but I know that a lot of what people were saying wasn't entirely correct either and wanted to speak up ! If you have anything to add or correct please feel free !!
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