#let me be cringe in peace thank u

[iizuumi]

rest & save?

[moonstruckme]

Hi, I love the emt!marauders you post, I was wondering if u could write one that the reader has a chronic disease that involves getting sore when it's cold? Idk how to explain, I have lupus, and when it's cold, my joints tend to get sensitive and sore...so something with fluff/comfort, pls?

Thank you for requesting my love <3

cw: reader has unspecified chronic pain that flares up in the cold, I relied on the internet to write this so if anything seems wrong/inaccurate please let me know

emt!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 887 words

Sirius is furious with himself for not checking the weather report. It’s so rare that you all have time off work on the same day, it’s possible you’d gotten ahead of yourselves in the excitement, but the sudden onset of winter wasn’t part of anyone’s plan. Even in Remus’ coat and tucked under James’ arm, you’ve gone quiet and withdrawn. Sirius can practically see you cringing with every step you take down the sidewalk. 

The other boys are similarly concerned.

“Let’s pop in here,” James suggests, maneuvering you all towards a bookstore. 

“Jamie,” you say, voice all sweetness even when it’s threaded through with exhaustion, “don’t go in somewhere you don’t want to just for me.” 

“Doll, I know how it might seem that way,” says Sirius, “but despite popular misconception, James actually can read.” 

You crack a smile, though it looks like it costs you. “Right, thanks, but we’re supposed to be out doing things we all like. If we went into a bookstore, you two would just end up sitting somewhere while Remus and I looked around.” 

“I like seeing you comfortable,” James says, somewhat poutily, “and I like buying you things. A bookstore is sounding rather enjoyable right now.” 

“Don’t you want to go inside?” Remus touches his knuckles gently underneath the butterfly-shaped rash on your cheeks that’s worsening due to the sun and cold. It’s not a terribly frigid day but the wind makes it worse, and however you try to act your boyfriends can see the toll it’s taking on you. “Even if it’s just for a while, it’ll be good to give yourself a break.” 

“Rem’s cold too,” Sirius says, noting the tension in the other boy’s posture now that he’s given up his coat, “aren’t you, lovely? C’mon, I know where we can go.” 

You don’t seem to have it in you to protest as Sirius leads you all down the block to the coffee shop around the corner. The heat is blasting inside. He finds you a table away from the door, where the cold breeze coming in can’t reach you and the whirring of the coffee grinders is less deafening. James insists on buying you each a warm beverage and a sweet (only you and Remus protest this; Sirius doesn’t know why you bother). 

“My poor girl,” Sirius murmurs, holding your frozen hands carefully in his. Remus’ coat pockets have done an insufficient job protecting them. Sirius devotes himself to rubbing warmth into each finger. 

“I think my drink would do as good a job of warming them up,” you say amusedly. 

“As good? I’m insulted.” 

“You know she really should be stretching her joints herself, love,” says Remus. 

“I do know,” Sirius replies primly, “thank you very much. It’s only that I’m very selfish.” 

Remus hums into his tea. “Selfish enough to let her drink go cold.” 

Sirius relents and lets you pick up your mug. You squeeze his hands thankfully before letting go. 

The windows at the front of the shop are foggy. It’s not cold enough yet for frost around the edges, but the mist gives the bustling street a blurred, wintry look, like the four of you are encapsulated in a warm snow globe scene, unmoving and separate from the outside world. Sirius finds it rather peaceful. 

“Did anyone bring ibuprofen?” James asks. 

You cringe sheepishly. “No, sorry. I forgot it at home.” 

“Don’t be sorry, lovie.” James palms the back of your neck, thumb rubbing soothingly. “Any of us could’ve thought of it. We’ll stop somewhere and grab a bottle.” 

“It never hurts to have extra,” Remus agrees before you can argue. 

“Okay,” you say, voice gone soft as it often does when you feel your boyfriends are taking too much notice of you. Sirius doesn’t understand your aversion to this in the slightest. “Thanks.” 

“It’s ungodly freezing out,” Sirius complains. “I move that we make a coffee shop stop every two blocks.” 

James’ face lights. “It could be like appetizer hopping—”

“But with pastries,” Sirius finishes. 

You don’t immediately argue, a promising sign. Remus appears to be warming to the idea as well. “We’d have to pace ourselves a bit more,” he points out, looking at your table cramped with plates and saucers. “Maybe at each place we pick one thing to share.” 

Sirius scoffs. “Suit yourself. I’m not splitting a muffin into four pieces and eating only one.” 

James looks as though he agrees, but he only says cheerily, “We’ll figure it out as we go. Does that sound good?” 

He poses the question to everyone, but they all know he’s really only asking you. Remus and Sirius give their assent quickly and you shrink a bit in your seat, embarrassed. 

“If it really doesn’t sound too inconvenient for you guys.” You lift one shoulder in a shrug. Sirius thinks with satisfaction that the motion looks easier than it might have when you first came in from the cold. “Then yeah, I’m alright with it.” 

“Oh, yes,” Sirius teases, “an afternoon spent enjoying coffee and pastries with the three most fetching people on the continent. I should really rethink this, it may be too inconvenient.” 

“Prick.” James elbows him and leans over to wrap an arm around you protectively, but your smile blooms, and that’s all Sirius wanted in the end.

[iamtired10]

what the hell is love anyway!?

synopsis: love is supposed to suck, but damn, she’s making it look good. the things you used to hate? she does them all���and somehow, you’re okay with it.

pairing: pham hanni x female reader

genre: fluffyyy, slow acceptance of feelings

word count: 1.7k

warning: reader’s anti-romantic philosophy, no-touch boundaries, kisses... idk man.

a/n: birthday gift for u gaysss (no for me)

y'all are so lucky i love you guys bc i literally skipped paying attention to my crush's debate rounds to write this. everyone was watching in the auditorium and there i was focused on this instead (btw my crush won the debate 😫)

you always thought love was a scam—a packaged lie wrapped in clichés and false promises.

people called it magical, but to you, it was just a hassle. all that hand-holding, constant texting, and clinging to each other’s personal space?

gross.

you’d made peace with being alone.

then pham hanni came along.

it wasn’t like you fell for her overnight.

it started with the small things.

her goofy smile, the way she made everyone laugh, how her voice softened when she spoke to you.

she was the type of person who could win over a room with a single joke, and while you weren’t the type to be easily charmed, something about her stuck in your mind like a catchy song.

but liking her didn’t mean you’d signed up for the full “love” package.

or so you thought.

spamming messages

at first, it was cute.

hanni would send you random texts during the day:

“have you eaten?”

“look at this dog i saw today!”

“I MISS YOUUUUUUUUU!!!!”

“where are you? :3”

“let's meet plsssss”

you didn’t mind the occasional check-in or funny meme.

but then it escalated.

your phone buzzed relentlessly during class, notifications piling up like an avalanche.

p.hn

what are you doing?

are you ignoring me??

i bet you’re doing something boring without me

y/n i’m going to cry if you don’t answer

answer me plsss

im dying without your attention...

ok fine

ignore me all you want

bye?

bye????

BYEEE!!!

:(((((

you used to hate it when people bombarded your phone. you had once ghosted a friend for triple texting.

but with hanni?

you sighed, typed out a response, and felt strangely warm when she replied immediately with a heart emoji.

hand-holding

physical touch wasn’t your thing.

the idea of holding someone’s hand always made you cringe—clammy palms and awkward positioning?

no, thanks.

but hanni had a way of breaking down your walls without even trying.

the first time she grabbed your hand, it was instinctive. you were crossing a busy street, and she reached for you, her fingers slipping between yours like it was the most natural thing in the world.

your first reaction was to pull away.

but when you glanced at her, her brows furrowed in focus as she guided you across, your protests caught in your throat.

by the time you were safely on the other side, she hadn’t let go.

“you okay?” she asked, smiling up at you like it wasn’t a big deal.

you nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat.

the weirdest part? you didn’t hate it.

hugs

you had a strict “no hugs” policy.

friends knew better than to even attempt it.

but hanni was a serial hugger.

she didn’t just hug; she wrapped herself around you like a blanket, her chin resting on your shoulder as if she belonged there.

at first, you stiffened every time she came near, your brain screaming, why is she touching me?

but one day, after a long, awful day, she hugged you without warning.

her arms were warm, her scent comforting, and instead of pushing her away, you found yourself melting into her embrace.

“feel better?” she asked softly.

you couldn’t bring yourself to admit it, but yeah, you did.

late-night calls

you hated phone calls.

they felt intrusive, unnecessary, and way too intimate.

so when hanni called you at 1 a.m., your first instinct was to ignore it.

but then you thought about her pouting on the other end, and before you knew it, you were swiping to answer.

“what?” you mumbled, already regretting it.

“i couldn’t sleep,” she said, her voice soft and a little raspy. “wanted to hear your voice.”

you groaned, but your heart betrayed you, skipping a beat at her words. “it’s the middle of the night, hanni.”

“i know,” she whispered. “but you sound cute when you’re annoyed.”

despite your best efforts, a small smile crept onto your face. damn her and her stupid charm.

kisses

kisses were overrated.

sloppy, awkward, and unnecessary—at least, that’s what you used to think.

but hanni had a way of making even the most mundane things magical. the first time she kissed you, it wasn’t planned.

she was rambling about something, her eyes bright with excitement, and before you could think, she leaned in and pressed her lips to yours.

it wasn’t dramatic or earth-shattering.

it was soft, sweet, and over too quickly.

when she pulled back, she looked at you nervously, biting her lip. “was that okay?”

you stared at her, heart pounding. “it was fine. . .”

fine was an understatement.

cuddles

cuddling was the ultimate invasion of personal space. you couldn’t understand why people willingly turned themselves into human pretzels just to feel close to someone.

but her?

she didn’t ask.

she just flopped onto you one afternoon, her head resting on your chest as she scrolled through her phone.

“what are you doing?” you asked.

“getting comfortable,” she replied nonchalantly.

you wanted to push her off, but her warmth seeped into you, relaxing muscles you hadn’t even realized were tense.

“fine,” you muttered. “but don’t move too much.”

she grinned, nuzzling closer. “i love you too.”

nicknames

you weren’t big on nicknames either.

they felt unnecessary and a little too mushy for your taste.

but she was relentless.

“baby,” she cooed one morning, poking your cheek as you sat groggily at the table. “what do you want for breakfast?”

you froze, blinking at her. “did you just call me... baby?”

“yeah. why?” she tilted her head innocently, like she hadn’t just thrown your entire morning into chaos.

“don’t.” you tried to sound stern, but the heat creeping up your neck betrayed you.

“okay, love.” She grinned, clearly enjoying herself.

“stop.”

“alright, sweetheart.”

you groaned, burying your face in your hands. “you’re... a-annoying...”

“and you love me for it,” she teased, planting a kiss on your temple.

and she was right.

watching a movie

movie nights with hanni were… an experience.

you’d always prided yourself on being someone who actually watched movies—no talking, no distractions, just pure focus.

but hanni? she was the complete opposite.

“wait, who’s that?” she asked five minutes in, pointing at the screen.

“that’s the main character,” you replied patiently.

“right, right.”

another ten minutes passed. “why is she crying?”

you sighed, pausing the movie. “hanni, if you’d been watching—”

“i was! kind of.” She pouted, tugging on your sleeve. “sorry, baby. keep playing it, please.”

you rolled your eyes, but when she cuddled into your side, resting her head on your shoulder, you let it slide.

by the end of the movie, she’d fallen asleep, her soft snores filling the room. you looked at her, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

yeah, you couldn’t stay mad at her.

stealing your hoodies

your wardrobe was sacred.

you hated it when people borrowed your clothes without asking.

but then there was hanni, strutting around in your favorite hoodie like she owned it.

“is that mine?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.

she looked down, feigning innocence. “oh, this? it was just sitting there, so…”

you opened your mouth to protest, but then she turned to face you, the oversized hoodie making her look impossibly small and adorable.

“you... can have it,” you muttered, averting your gaze.

her grin was victorious. “i know.”

early mornings

you weren’t a morning person.

waking up early was your personal hell, and you avoided it at all costs.

but hanni had a habit of waking up before the sun and dragging you along for the ride.

“y/n, wake up!” she whispered excitedly, shaking you gently.

“go away,” you mumbled, pulling the blanket over your head.

“but i made coffee,” she said, her tone teasing. “and pancakes.”

your stomach growled, betraying you. you groaned, sitting up reluctantly.

she smiled triumphantly, handing you a mug. “see? mornings aren’t so bad.”

you sighed, glaring at her over the rim. “they are. you’re just annoying.”

“i love you too,” she shot back, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before skipping away.

singing randomly

you weren’t a fan of noise, especially when you were trying to focus.

but hanni was a walking jukebox, always humming or breaking into song at the most random moments.

“can you stop?” you’d grumble, trying to concentrate on your work.

“stop what?” she’d reply innocently, twirling around the room as she belted out a love song.

you’d glare at her, but deep down, you couldn’t help smiling.

especially when she changed the lyrics to include your name.

poking your cheeks

hanni had an odd obsession with your cheeks. she’d poke them at every opportunity, claiming they were “too squishy to resist.”

“do you mind?” you snapped one day, swatting her hand away.

“not at all,” she replied cheerfully, poking you again.

you huffed, but when she giggled and kissed the spot she’d just poked, you let it slide.

showing up unannounced

you liked your alone time, and you hated surprises.

so when hanni started showing up at your place unannounced, you were less than thrilled.

“don’t you ever knock?” you asked as she waltzed into your living room.

“why would i? it’s me,” she replied, flopping onto your couch like she owned the place.

you rolled your eyes, but the truth was, you didn’t really mind.

because with Hanni, even the things you used to hate felt… okay.

personal space

you were a fortress, a private island, a lone wolf.

but pham hanni was a storm, relentless and impossible to ignore.

she broke through your defenses without even trying.

she sat too close, invaded your bubble, and left her things scattered around your space like she belonged there.

and you let her.

because somewhere along the way, you stopped seeing it as an intrusion and started seeing it as her way of showing she cared.

by the time you realized how much she’d changed you, it was too late. she’d already wormed her way into every corner of your life, breaking down every wall you’d carefully built.

and honestly? you didn’t hate it.

as she sat beside you one night, her head resting on your shoulder and her fingers playing with yours, you finally admitted it to yourself.

you didn’t just like her.

you loved her.

hanni glanced up at you, her eyes sparkling. “what’s on your mind?”

“nothing,” you replied, squeezing her hand. “just you.”

and for the first time, that didn’t scare you.

a/n: i promised myself i wouldn't write anything this month so i could focus on studying, but i missed writing too much

now i feel like i suck even more than before :'D

[everythingisromant1c]

It's Always Been You - Chapter 9

james potter x fem!reader

summary - after the whirlwind of emotions that you'd felt in the past few days, and with James's odd mood definitely not being of any help, all you wanted was some peace and clarity. Though, it didn't seem like you'd be getting much of that any time soon with how things were looking around school.

wc [4.5k]

a/n: the biggest thank u to everyone who has been sticking w/ this story and supporting it!! it means the world to me, + i cannot wait to keep at it and get the last few chapters out 🤭very exciting times ahead

all chapters | <- Chapter 8 - Chapter 10 ->

You'd seen so little of James the rest of the day you'd think he was walking around wearing a bloody invisibility cloak. You tried not to jump to conclusions as to why he was acting the way he was, but that seemed impossible when your mind kept replaying each moment you shared with him in the locker room like you were making a stop-motion film from it.

The fact was troubling, especially because of the other blaring fact that you had a big History of Magic exam coming up that you desperately needed to study for. You'd decided a study session in the library was exactly what you needed to get your mind cleared and focus on eighteenth-century goblin rebellions, but your solution wasn't proving so successful.

Maybe you were still paranoid from the broom closet rumor incident, but you could've sworn people were giving you weird looks. You'd only been sitting at your table on the far side of the library for maybe twenty minutes and had to stop what you were doing three times because you had the feeling people were staring at you—which you were proved right about every time, looking up and meeting a pair of eyes that would glance over you once before turning away, a matching pair of lips whispering something to an equally nosy friend that you couldn't make out.

Each time it happened that feeling in your stomach would sink deeper and deeper until it made it too hard to even focus on the books in front of you at all. You shut your textbook maybe too loudly, bracing your head in your hands for a minute in frustration. When you looked back up, you met the eyes of a Slytherin girl from afar. She was giving you what you could only interpret as a dirty look, though she wasn't so quick to look away.

You looked over your shoulder, like an idiot, thinking maybe she was staring at someone behind you, but the only thing in your sight was more books on a shelf. Your gut was churning, a feeling that only got more intense as you watched her get up from where she was sitting and march over to you like she meant business.

"Hey," she greeted, though her greeting was anything but inviting, her darkly painted lips a thin line against her pale complexion.

You creased your forehead up at her. "Hi?"

"I don't know if you've noticed," she began, practically snarling, "but everyone's getting pretty sick of you going around acting like you can do whatever the hell you want."

"Excuse me?" You blinked at her, entirely lost. She only stared down at you, nostrils flared with a cringe-worthy hand on her hip. You turned halfway back to the closed textbook in front of you. "Sorry, I think you've got the wrong person."

She scoffed. "You're dating Sebastian Vance, are you not?"

You paused, taken aback. "I- ..." You opened your mouth and then closed it. Were you dating him? He did ask you on a date, but that didn't mean you were really dating him, did it? The girl didn't even give you time to answer her, let alone figure it out for yourself.

"Yeah, you are. And you're also the girl who's been sneaking around hooking up with Potter every other day, correct?"

Your jaw dropped along with your stomach. You were rendered speechless for a second, mind racing a mile a minute as this random girl peered at you like you were some dirty gunk stuck to the table with a cruel expression. You rolled your eyes. "Look, I don't know who you are, and I also don't know what the hell you're on about."

"Yeah, sure," she spat. "Well, you should know that it's bloody trampy of you to be going around hogging Vance from the rest of us when you're so set on fooling around with Potter."

"'Hogging Vance?' What-"

"Hey, Ashthorn!"

The girl snapping at you whipped her head in the direction of the voice from behind you, luckily rescuing you from the one-sided conversation you'd been forced into. In no time, the voice grew louder and you recognized with a relieved smile Marlene and Lily making their way over to where you sat.

The blonde put a hand on the back of your chair, sharp eyes glued in front of her. "Why don't you slither away to your other horndog friends until you figure out what the bloody hell you're talking about?"

The girl, or Ashthorn, as Marlene had called her, contorted her features crudely. "Bugger off, McKinnon."

Lily crossed her arms from beside Marlene. "Professor McGonagall is right down the hallway. Do you want us to go get her for you?" The redhead took an authoritative step forward. "If not, I can deduct points from Slytherin fine myself."

Ashthorn crossed her arms over her chest too, eyeing the prefect and seething blonde standing beside her. You'd never been so thankful for having such intimidating friends.

She scoffed, seemingly deciding the argument wasn't worth whatever punishment Lily had in store. "Whatever."

With a final nasty look at you and the two girls behind you, she stomped off and out of the library. You released the tension that'd spread to your shoulders and let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in.

"What a bitch." Marlene rounded the table so you could better see her. "I knew she was crazy, but not total batshit crazy."

Lily gave her a look, but you saw her holding back a smile. She turned to you concernedly. "Are you alright?"

You nodded, finally feeling like you could think clearly. Then, you remembered all the stares you'd been getting, and the full-blown argument you'd just had in the middle of the library certainly didn't help. You felt dozens of eyes still lingering on you, like they were insects crawling on flesh. You must've looked visibly uncomfortable because in no time Lily and Marlene were packing your bags away for you and having you follow them out of the library.

"How did you guys know I'd be in the library?" you took your bags back from them, smiling gratefully.

"You're not exactly a difficult girl to find," Marlene shrugged. "We knew you'd either be in our dorm or off in the library as soon as we heard that bloody rumor."

Your feet halted in their tracks, a painstakingly familiar alarm blaring in your head. "What rumor?" you panicked. "The one about the broom closet?"

"Not the broom closet one." Lily shook her head horrifyingly. "The locker room one."

"Oh no. No no no." You ran a stressed hand through your hair. "What are people saying now?" The crowded feeling of your heart beating in your chest told you that you weren't sure you truly wanted to hear the answer.

"Well," Marlene began cautiously. "It's ridiculous, but my brother heard from his friends in the second year that you and Potter got caught snogging in the boys' locker room without shirts on."

"What?" Your eyes widened until you felt as if your eyes could fall out of your head any minute, dropping to the floor along with your stomach and your pride.

Marlene shook her head. "I know. I don't know how they come up with these things, really."

You bit the inside of your cheek, averting your eyes as your brain racked backward to that morning. "I guess it's not entirely far off from the truth."

Lily's jaw dropped. "It's not?"

"It's not true, obviously," you began hurriedly, placating your friends' petrified stares. You lowered your voice to a whisper, paranoid but rightfully so. "I was in the locker rooms with him this morning. There was no ... no snogging. None of that."

Marlene raised a brow at you. "So then where did the 'topless' part come from?"

You fought against the heat rising into your face. "Well, I wasn't topless, of course. God." You lowered your voice and your head. "But James was." You hurried to add, "But only because he'd just come from playing Quidditch outside."

"Oh, Love." Marlene sighed, a hand reaching for her forehead. "At this point, you're doing it to yourself."

Lily slapped at her arm. "What she means is," she eyed Marlene. "Even though these people are boring and awful for having nothing better to do than obsess over some dumb rumors, it's hard to explain why you and Potter keep ending up in these ... situations. Ones where he's topless nonetheless."

You averted your gaze, beginning to walk again. "Yeah, it is hard to explain. I wish I could tell you the answer myself." You sighed. "I've been trying to steer clear of being around him too much because of-" you stopped yourself, remembering the feelings for James you'd avoided speaking to the redhead about all year. "-Because of all the rumors. But he just has seemed off lately, and I wanted to check up on him. That's all. But I suppose even that's social suicide since the world has it out for me and loves seeing me holed up in my dorm since that's where I'll be hiding for the rest of the year."

Marlene reeled, tipping her head at you dramatically. "Don't be ridiculous. You can't let these thirsty idiots win."

"Win what?" You threw your hands down at your sides tiredly. "I don't want to be in some competition I didn't even sign up for."

"Don't think of it as a competition." Lily shook her head from next to you. "It's not about them. It's about you getting to have fun at Hogwarts while you still can. Things will die down in a day or two, and we'll be here for you the whole time like we were just now."

"Yeah," the blonde agreed. "This school is literally full of deadly magical creatures. Something's bound to snag their attention in no time." She rolled her eyes. "Plus, not everyone is as feral as Cressida Ashthorn."

You held in your laughter, maybe still shaken up from the interaction but your friends easily lightened up that feeling.

Marlene shook her head to herself, face still contorted with disgust. "Who knew she gets that territorial over Sebastian Vance of all people." You stopped in your tracks again, probably a walking traffic hazard by then, but your mind was too occupied by a different revelation to care.

"Oh my God. Sebastian." Lily and Marlene both watched you wordlessly with only the raising of their brows in question. "I need to go find him." Without saying another word, you sped off down the hallway.

"We'll meet you in the dorms?" you heard Marlene call, voice full of confusion but encouragement that you definitely needed. You threw her a thumbs up. The day was lasting much too long and every new thing being thrown at you was getting harder to dodge.

You had absolutely no idea where you thought you were going, and after peaking around the dungeons for a solid five minutes with no sign of him, you remembered you were a Marauder and that the map existed.

Groaning at the idea of all the stairs in this god-forsaken castle of a school, you started for the Gryffindor common room. It felt as if an eternity had gone by before you arrived on the right floor, your mind trying to think through what you'd say to Sebastian—you came up with nothing.

The feeling sunk in alarmingly when you rounded the corner to the common room and saw the very person you were looking for standing by the portrait entrance.

"Sebastian?" You stopped your steps a few feet away from him. He was standing there with his hands tucked into his pockets, head tipped forward that he raised at the sound of your voice. He called your name back to you softly in greeting and you were struck with how handsome he was once again. No wonder that Slytherin girl had been so crazy over him.

"What are you doing here?" You tried to make your tone as casual as possible, suddenly shy after not having seen him since he asked you out the night before. The fact that not even a full day had gone by since then was mind-boggling.

"I was looking for you, actually." Even if he ended his sentence with a smile, you still felt yourself panicking internally.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. "I'm guessing you heard about the rumor."

He tilted his head, eyes lightly painted over with a look that told you he had. "You mean the one about you and Potter in the locker rooms?"

You visibly cringed. "Yeah, that one." You looked him directly in the eye, even if doing so made you want to run into the portrait door behind him and hide in your dorm like you'd wanted to all day. "I'm so sorry you keep having to hear all these rumors. I swear whatever you heard about it isn't true, and I can explain everything."

Sebastian began to shake his head. "You don't have to-"

"I was in the locker rooms with him," you started, because you didn't know how to stop, "and he was shirtless but trust me I was definitely not, and there was no snogging no whatever else people have been saying, and-"

"It's alright." Sebastian cut in, stopping you in your panic, his voice sandy and smooth. "I believe you. You don't have to explain yourself or apologize. It's not like you started any of these rumors, right?"

He laughed lightly and you thought he must be one of the kindest boys in your whole grade. How you got him to ask you on a date of all people, you didn't know.

"You're right. It's just not fair that you have to keep hearing them. I hope you know I would never do something like that when I just agreed to go on a date with you."

"I know." He shrugged a shoulder. "Don't worry about it, seriously. People are just bored and want a good story to talk about."

You laughed inwardly, feeling a little lighter now that you'd cleared things up with Sebastian. "I can certainly tell some stories." You stopped yourself with wide eyes. "Not ones with James, of course. God." You looked up at Sebastian, who was laughing to himself, and that soothed your nerves. "I was talking about this absolutely rude girl who came up to me in the library of all places earlier today and started yelling at me about hogging you, or some rubbish like that. She was crazy, I swear it."

Sebastian sighed as you finished your story, a hand to his head. "Let me guess. Cressida Asthorn?"

You blinked at him, surprised. "Yes, how'd you know?"

He put his hands back in his pockets like his forthcoming answer took effort just to tell. "She's had this obsession with me since the third year, Salazar knows why." You fought back the urge to ask him, Have you seen you? "This isn't the first time she's done something like this."

You laughed. "Wow."

"Yeah," Sebastian huffed. "Now I owe you the apology, for having to put up with her and all."

You shook your head. "Like you said to me, it's not your fault."

He smiled warmly at you. "Don't worry though, I'll talk to her."

"Don't, I think she'd like that too much." You could see him immediately fight back a laugh, something that had you grinning at your own joke.

"Anyways," he said, straightening himself up. "The rumor wasn't actually why I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh." You winced. "Sorry, I was probably panicking so much you couldn't get a word in."

He grinned, flashing perfect teeth. "Don't be." He ran a hand over his hair. "I came here to ask you whether you liked The Three Broomsticks or Madam Pudifoot's better for our date. Or we could walk around and go to both. Whatever you want."

Our date. The word felt foreign in your mind. You weren't even sure you cared where you went on the date, just the fact that you were going on one had your mind occupied enough.

"Both sounds good." You pulled your lips into a smile, suddenly feeling light as air in a way you weren't used to.

"Great," he said, and he smiled infectiously.

"Perfect."

You were looking up at him, ignoring your lack of social skills, and he was looking down at you, and you could've sworn his eyes flickered over your face so delicately it was almost unnoticeable, but it made your mind spin. What was he thinking about right then?

You never got the chance to find out, because the life-sized portrait door swung open from beside you, right in between you and Sebastian.

"Sorry," Sebastian muttered immediately, bowing his head and taking a step back to give whoever was exiting the common room space. When no one came out, you frowned until you saw who it was.

"Well, look who it is: Our favorite couple," sang Sirius, who stood in a group with the other three boys. You took in a breath, already having the urge to roll your eyes at your friend who loved to torture you any moment he could. He looked between you and Sebastian with a glimmer in his eye. "Oh, please, don't stop whatever you were doing on our accord." He pretended to cover his eyes with his hand. "Act like we're not here."

Now you really were rolling your eyes, if only to hide the embarrassment you were feeling at him calling you and Sebastian a 'couple'.

"You can open your eyes, Sirius," you drawled, the corners of your mouth creeping up. You turned to Sebastian, who was watching the interaction with interest and definitely some confusion.

"Sebastian, these are my friends." You gestured to them from where they still stood inside the portrait hole, trying to deflate the awkwardness of the situation and probably failing. "This is Sirius." The boy in question waved his fingers at Sebastian, and you fought your reaction from your face. "And then there's Remus, Peter, and, well, you've already met James."

You couldn't explain the way your heart beat heavier as you looked at the boy you gestured to. The last time you'd spoken to him was that morning when he'd practically shooed you away from him. It felt like at this point you were living your life on rotation, bumping into James and wanting nothing more than both talk with him and avoid him all at once. With the realization that he'd probably heard the rumor by now too, you were thinking the latter was the better option.

"Yeah," said Sebastian, and maybe his tone was tight but you could see him making an effort. "Alright, Potter?"

The distance between the two felt tangible, and it didn't help that James hardly even gave a nod in response. You looked over at him, trying to signal with your face that he was being rude, but he wouldn't meet your eyes.

"Well," you began. "I was just talking with Sebastian about the new horrid rumor going around. Hopefully, you guys haven't already heard it."

"Trust me, we have." Sirius barked out a laugh. "This one was quite the catch." Remus elbowed him in the side, and Sirius held his torso dramatically. "Fine, not funny. Tragic."

You sighed. "I'm guessing it had to come from that blonde kid who came looking for his broom polish, James." You looked up at him, who finally met your gaze, something off about the way he'd been avoiding your eyes. Maybe he was thinking about what'd happened that morning; you definitely were.

"Yeah, Crembley," he said plainly. "He's a second year on the team. I already told him he'd be running extra laps at our next practice." His eyes flickered between you and Sebastian. "Don't worry."

Your lips parted. "Thanks." You held his eyes for a second, something that reminded you too much of the moment you shared in the locker room.

You broke the suffocating silence hurriedly. "Well, I'm gonna head in." You turned to Sebastian again.

"Right," he said, nodding. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

In all the disarray of the week, you'd almost forgotten that the Hogsmeade trip, and your date, was tomorrow. You didn't let it show on your face though, and smiled. "Yeah, tomorrow."

You felt like maybe hugging him goodbye, but turning and looking at the four boys still awkwardly standing in the portrait hole, you decided on a wave instead. He waved back, and you watched as he gave the boys one last nod before leaving, walking down the hallway and out of sight.

You let out a tired puff of air from your lips, turning to your friends that still hadn't budged. "You know, you guys really could've helped make that less awkward instead of just standing there like a bunch of stone statues."

"Hey, I talked," defended Sirius, a side smirk creeping its way onto his lips.

You gave him a look. "Yes, unfortunately." You made your way into the portrait hole, the painting door shutting behind you as you walked into the common room, the four boys following you from behind. You eyed them over your shoulder. "Weren't you guys going somewhere before we bumped into you?"

Remus nodded, taking a seat on the arm of the sofa before the burning fireplace. "Yeah, we were actually going to look for you."

You raised your brows, leaning against the back of the couch. "Oh. How come?" You paused. "Don't tell me it's about another prank."

"Not yet," Sirius teased. "We actually have some exciting news to share." He sprawled lazily beside Remus, a doggish grin taking over his features. "Wormtail here scored himself a date to Hogsmeade tomorrow."

You gasped, maybe too loudly, turning to Peter. "Pete that's great!" You poked him in the shoulder as he came to sit by the rest of you. "Who did you ask?"

He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, looking sheepish. "Lina Wednesbury." You racked your brain and matched the name to a quiet Hufflepuff girl in your Herbology class. "And, well, she asked me."

Sirius pushed him in the side, smiling playfully. "Nothing to be ashamed about, mate. Game is game."

"Yeah, I think you two make a perfect match." You grinned. "It looks like the two of us both have dates for tomorrow then."

"Hear that, Padfoot?" Peter joked, turning to the boy on his left. "You're off your game."

The long-haired boy shrugged, rolling his eyes cockily. "Please. I reckon I could score a date without even getting up from my seat."

You shook your head at his antics, Remus doing the same. He held up a hand. "Please don't test out that theory."

"Don't worry, I won't." Sirius smirked at Remus and tipped his head over to where James sat in the seat to your right. "Wouldn't wanna leave you and Prongs here all alone."

James tilted his head up from where he'd been leaning it back against his seat the whole conversation. "I don't see what's so important about getting a bloody date."

Sirius barked out a laugh. "Says the man who spent more than half his Hogwarts years asking Evans out to every Hogsmeade trip."

James rolled his eyes at him, tone souring. "Ha ha."

Remus peeked over at him curiously. "You ask her out this time, mate?"

"No," he answered, bored tone telling you he didn't want to discuss the matter. "I didn't."

Sirius gasped. "That's gotta be a first."

"Not true," James defended.

"Yes, true." Sirius leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. "Weren't we just saying we reckon she'd say yes this time?"

"Yeah," Peter agreed. "And then the three of us could all have dates."

"How adorable," Sirius cooed. "You three could all triple date. You, Pete, and Sebastian." He cracked up at his own joke as James rolled his eyes.

"Like I'd spend a whole day with Vance when I could be doing funner things, like helping Filch clean the toilets."

You tutted, squinting at James and his lazy position in his seat. "Very funny," you mocked, turning back to the others. "Sebastian's actually quite fun to be around. He told this hilarious joke the other day in Potions about Slughorn's outfit that-" You halted your words. "I'm sorry," you said, turning to James, who'd scoffed into the empty air as you spoke. "Is there something wrong?"

"No," he answered, but continued talking anyway. "It's just that I've heard Vance tell about a million jokes to you in that class and trust me, you couldn't get a five-year-old to laugh at any one of them."

You frowned at him, sitting up in your seat so you could better look at the boy who'd had little to nothing to say to you all day, yet now wouldn't let you get a word in. "So you're listening in on my conversations now?"

James avoided your eyes, rolling them instead. "Not willingly, trust me."

You shook your head, face surely showing disgust. "You're being incredibly immature, James."

"I'm sorry that I'm not as mature as Vance." You huffed out an annoyed breath, because you were sure you'd never talked about Sebastian mature, ever. "And quite frankly," James continued, "I'm just saying what we're all thinking."

Now you were really irritated. "Really?" You turned to the three other boys sitting beside you, onlookers to the absurdity. "Was anyone else thinking that?"

"I think we're all just tired," rang Remus when everyone else said anything, forever playing the role of peacekeeper, though you'd rarely ever seen him have to do it over you and James. "Maybe let's talk about something else, yeah?"

James huffed. "Gladly."

"No," you interjected, turning full in your seat to the brunette. "I want to know why the hell you hate Sebastian so much."

James sat still for a moment, eyes flickering directly into yours for only a beat before they wandered again, taking on that avoidant and quite frankly aggravating set to them. "I suppose it's not so much him than the fact that he decided he suddenly needed to take you out during the first Hogsmeade trip back. Obviously, the lad doesn't have friends of his own."

At his last sentence, he let out an ill-humored laugh, looking to Sirius and whoever else to agree with him. Meanwhile, your head was spinning at his words.

"Is that what all this is about?" you interrogated. "If it's so important to you, then fine I'll ... I'll take the carriage ride into Hogsmeade with you guys. That way we can still all spend some time together." If you were being honest, spending time with James when he was acting like this was the last thing you wanted to do. You threw your hands up. "Are you happy?"

James regarded you for a moment silently, and then shrugged, seeming to submit back into his aloofness once again. "Yeah," he said. "Whatever."

You ran a hand over your hair desperately. "If that's not it, then what is it?" You couldn't help the way your voice was rising. Your hardening eyes searched over his form for whatever stick seemed to be up his arse, and then softened as a realization flooded into your mind. "If it's about Lily, then I can always-"

"For Merlin's sake," James interrupted, loud enough to stun you. "Not everything's about Evans, alright?" He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and then rubbed both of them over his thighs in frenzied thought, silent. "I'm going to bed." He stood up, storming swiftly past you and the others without another glance back.

"But the sun's hardly set," Peter squeaked in question.

Remus shook his head. "Let him go." He peaked over at his retreating form until he disappeared up the stairs, out of sight, and a weight seemed to lift in the air of the common room, though it stayed rooted in depths of your chest. "He's just in a foul mood. Needs to sleep it off."

"Yeah," you agreed, leaning back in your seat tiredly. You looked over at the seat he'd been sitting in. "I hope so."

taglist!!

@hisparentsgallerryy @msmk11 @garfieldsladybird @empath-bunny @urmykindofwoman @bambi-jp @babyclea @cloudroomblog @mooonyxoxo @imgondeletedis @moon-flowerrs @fruticake @arey0usirius @kenjikishimotoswifey @the-marauders-mapp

[vrmxlho]

-ˏˋ ur socials as rin’s gf ˊˎ-

-`♡ ´- liked by isagi_11, 666666 and 1.9k others

yn: bless us, o god. bless our food and our drink. since you redeemed us so dearly and delivered us from evil, as you gave us a share in this food so may you give us a share in eternal life

tagged: itoshi_rin

666666: who needs a prayer book when you have user yn on insta 😍

↳ yn: i'm always saving them trees 🙏

eggod: why'd you photoshop rin's face on my body dawg 🤣

↳ yn: LMAOOO

↳ yn: you got me 😒

itoshi_rin: can't even enjoy a pink sky in peace

↳ yn: you're lucky i haven't strangled you yet

↳ itoshi_rin: when i die, they will use this as evidence to convict you

↳ yn: i'm so scared 😱

-`♡ ´- liked by karasu, mikage and 876 others

yn: my personal bag holder kinda cute

tagged: itoshi_rin

itoshi_rin: not as cute as you

↳ yn: ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

↳ itoshi_rin: that was so cringe oml

↳ yn: SHUT UP

mikage: who tfs taking your pics is my question

666666: is he bothering u bae

↳ yn: no nagi he is not 🙄

isagi_11: theres something next to u dont move

↳ itoshi_rin: kys

-`♡ ´- liked by eggod, kaisersexc and 3.1k others

itoshi_rin: my lovely

tagged: yn

yn: i am no man's property 😡😡😡

↳ itoshi_rin: ok

↳ yn: ❗❗❗

megsbachira: food <3

↳ itoshi_rin: thank you for confirming you have eyes

↳ megsbachira: yn come get yo man he's acting out again 😟

↳ yn: rin please be nice

↳ itoshi_rin: no

↳ yn: sorry megs he can't be helped 😞

-`♡ ´- liked by mikage, chigiri and 1.3k others

yn: pt 2

tagged: itoshi_rin

chigiri: wake up break up!!!!

666666: how're u letting it touch you 😧

↳ yn: IT?????

↳ itoshi_rin: you should say goodbye to ur neck nagi

↳ 666666: pls i promise that was a joke 😥

itoshi_rin: i better not see anyone else ever hold your bags

↳ yn: ofc not bby ❤️‍🩹

[squinch-depraved]

would you be open to feederism with schlatt? where fem!reader wants him to gain weight? don’t have to write it if you don’t want too!!

im gonna kiss u ive had 3.5k words about getting schlatt fat and making him burp ready to go for like maybe a week,,, i wrote it for my bestie so i guess it's time for me to share it

CW: feederism, eructophilia, fat shaming, degrading, breeding kink, uhmm pls let me know if i need to put anything else here thanks

a cold breeze bit at your skin, coaxing a flush from your cheeks and nose. stepping out of the loud restaurant had earned you some peace, but at the expense of your warmth. luckily, you weren’t alone on the sidewalk for long; the only person you knew at this godforsaken dinner had followed out after you.

“hey, schlatt,” you greeted him tiredly. the evening was proving to be too much for you, and you had to knock back several drinks just to be able to tolerate the raucous bunch.

“hey, doll,” he replied smoothly. “i saw how much you had tonight, there’s no way i’m letting you walk back to your place alone, even if it is only two blocks from here.”

“dude, i don’t even wanna go home,” you whined. he tilted his head at that and rested one arm above you against the brick wall you were now leaning on.

“and why’s that?”

“my fucking roommates. it’s just always something with them, i don’t even wanna deal with it anymore.”

schlatt thought for a second before using his other hand to guide your chin to look at him. “d’you wanna come to my place for the night? i’ve got mario kart and more alcohol,” he offered gently. “much better than the stuff they serve here.” the last sentence was muttered under his breath, so you didn’t even catch it. you were too hung up on the way the city lights reflected off his gorgeous brown eyes.

“y-yeah, sounds good!” you stuttered when you could finally talk. he simply nodded and offered you his arm, walking you towards his car at a pace slow enough for you to match in your inebriated state.

“dude, now that i think about it, you ate, like… a lot of food,” you giggled once you had gotten comfy in his passenger seat. he had just belched and looked mortified for a second before turning away to focus on the road. “you don’t have to be embarrassed, sorry, i didn’t mean to make you feel bad.” you cringed at your awkward attempt to salvage the conversation about the dinners you had eaten. he did look significantly bigger than the last time you saw him, but that didn’t mean it was okay for you to comment on it. even though, looking back on the meal, he was looking at you an awful lot as he stuffed bite after bite into his mouth. there was always this dark look in his eyes, too, something deeper than hunger. it looked almost like… lust?

no, that’s insane, you thought to yourself. why would he be turned on by that? why am i turned on by that?

the rest of the car ride was easier; you two started talking again and, before you knew it, you were stumbling into his apartment. he helped you onto the couch and walked to the kitchen to grab some booze after you were situated. schlatt couldn't help but chuckle when he returned to find you slumped all the way down, nearly horizontal and about to slide off the cushion.

“you still up for a game, toots?” he asked, extending a beer towards you. you accepted it and nodded, taking a long swig while he set up his switch. eventually he found his way next to you on the couch and handed you a controller. you took it gingerly and soon the two of you were screaming at each other as you raced, occasionally shoving each other whenever there was a break between matches. naturally, he won the first round, and he got up to grab more beers while you complained from the couch.

“i totally let you win,” you called as he returned with two more drinks. one was unopened, as you had yet to finish the first one he got you, but there wasn’t much left, so you downed it and let out a belch. as soon as you did, you winced at your lack of decorum and excused yourself. a glance at schlatt revealed not a look of disgust like you were expecting, but rather a look of interest that he appeared ashamed of himself for having in his eyes.

unable to stop yourself, you let out a laugh as you crack open your second beverage. “did you like that? what the fuck?” schlatt found himself unable to look away from your gaze, no matter how badly he wanted to. his face burned with the knowledge that he had been found out.

“i dunno..” he mumbled, taking several deep gulps from his own drink. “maybe. what if i did?” it was his turn to burp, loud and drawn out, and you crossed and uncrossed your legs a few times in an attempt to shoo away the feelings it brought up deep in your gut.

“if you did, i think we could easily keep going,” you replied, sipping your beer. “loser has to chug one beer every race?”

he smirked, eyes dark, and nodded. “i’m down.”

“yeah, you’re going down,” you joked.

somehow, you won the first two races, and he drank a full beer each time, pulling them from the twelve-pack that he ended up just bringing to the coffee table. triumphantly, you mocked him, but the next race, he came in first and you weren’t even on the podium. he watched you intensely as you opened your third can, eyes trained on your face while you poured it down your gullet. you were going at such a pace that some of the liquid spilled from your lips and dripped onto your lap, and when you finally finished, the belch you let out caused his pants to tighten. when you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand after crushing the empty can and tossing it away, you turned to look at schlatt, noticing the tent in his pants shortly after taking in how bloated he was.

“jesus, you’re big,” you commented drunkenly. immediately, you felt bad for making the remark, but the guilt didn’t last long— he lit up at your words. “you like being called big??”

this time, he couldn’t meet your eyes.

“yeah? you like when i call you my big boy?” you shuffled your way onto his lap, the game you were playing long forgotten. schlatt just burped and covered his mouth with his hand, face redder than you had ever seen it. after studying his expression for a moment, you pulled his hand away and kissed him roughly, grinding your hips down onto his clothed bulge and earning a moan from him. you pulled away with a grin and patted his cheek.

“you’re so pathetic. you’re gonna do whatever i say, right?”

he nodded, eager to please, and waited for your instructions.

“good boy. now go get more snacks, you fat fuck. i wanna watch you eat until you physically cannot hold any more.” at that, schlatt let out a whimper and waited for you to clamber off his lap before standing up and rushing to the kitchen.

he returned with a bag of chips and a gourmet looking package from a bakery you remembered seeing on the way here. “chocolate chip cookies okay?” he asked, holding them up as he leaned against the doorway into the living room. you nodded and patted the couch next to you, smiling when he scurried over to sit down.

as soon as he was seated, you took the food from him and placed it on the coffee table. he looked confused for a moment, and then you were on top of him again, peering down at his pitiful expression. even though he only had a small glass at the beginning of dinner, he still smelled of whiskey. you wondered if that was a permanent thing for him as you dove in for a kiss— maybe he wore cologne or something that smelled like it? all you had to drink since you arrived here were beers, so it was fitting that he tasted like ale. he let you explore his mouth with your tongue, running it over his teeth before withdrawing and wiping your chin of the string of spit that connected you still.

you grinned down at him while you reached to grab a cookie out of the box and brought it to hover just over his lips before saying, “be good for me and eat every last bite, okay?” schlatt just whimpered again and nodded, opening his mouth for you to stuff the pastry in. he went above and beyond, keeping his deep brown eyes locked on yours so he could watch every ounce of pleasure that you got from this as it crossed your face.

“you are such a fucking pig, you know that?” you giggled. he froze for just a second, eyes growing impossibly wider, and then made the slightest movement upwards with his hips, as if he were trying to get any friction that he could from you on top of him. “oh my god! what the fuck is wrong with you that you enjoy being called a fat fucking slob?” using one finger to poke his stomach, you smiled maniacally and bounced your hips up and down a bit, making him feel unsteady and causing him to bring his hands up to your waist in an attempt to slow your movements.

you scoffed and grabbed another cookie from the pretty package, giving him no time to prepare before shoving it into his mouth. “don’t fucking touch me,” you snarled. “sit there and take whatever i give you.” after he swallowed, you got off his lap and waltzed into the kitchen yourself, grabbing a few sodas from the fridge before returning to your place atop schlatt’s lap. he had sat up a bit since you left, making it much easier for you to pop open the tab on the soda can and hold it to his lips. slowly, you started pouring it into his mouth, holding eye contact while he gulped down the entire can. once it was empty, you repeated your steps of crushing it and tossing it away, and then you placed both hands on his stomach and gently pressed down. the pressure forced an enormous belch from him, and he groaned as he threw his head back.

“so much food in here,” you drawled as you smushed around his tummy. “let’s give you some more, hmm? fatass.” the nickname earned a quiet whine from his lips as you reached this time for the chips, opening the bag and shoveling a handful of them into his mouth. “you’re really pathetic, y’know that?”

he let out a strangled grunt as he worked on chewing the mouthful you had given him.

“can’t believe you get off on being force fed and degraded. it would be pitiful if i felt like you deserved any pity.” another burp found its way past his lips and you grinned at how embarrassed he appeared. “keep doing that. actually, who am i kidding? i can make you keep doing that.” you grabbed another soda and hurriedly poured it down his gullet, laughing whenever he couldn’t swallow fast enough and the liquid spilled from his mouth and down onto his shirt. you guessed he swallowed about 80% of the contents of the can as you chucked it somewhere across the room yet again.

schlatt let out a deep groan as he brought one hand up to rest on top of yours on his stomach. “fuck, doll, i’m gettin’ full,” he mumbled uncomfortably.

you simply cackled and prodded his belly, reveling in the painful noises he let out. “that’s the point, idiot.” he winced at the feeling of your fingers jabbing into his gut and bucked his hips up again, drawing a moan from you before you could stop it.

“see? i know you want it too, please, fuck me,” he begged. you rolled your hips down onto him with a snort and grabbed another cookie from the box.

“you’re cute when you’re desperate,” you admitted as you stuffed it into his open mouth. schlatt moaned as he chewed, and it actually took him a second to be able to swallow. lucky for him, there was one soda left, so you did him a favor and opened it, only pausing when it reached his lips.

“please, no…” he asked, blinking his eyes at you a few times.

“shut the fuck up.” you ordered. with a grimace, he opened his mouth yet again and screwed his eyes shut, waiting for you to pour. but you didn’t, at least, not until he peeked at you to see what the hold up was. once you two were maintaining eye contact again, you tilted the can forward, this time giving him a break every time he started to sputter and clutch at your legs. it took maybe two minutes, but he downed the whole can, and you gave him some much deserved praise.

“good boy,” you murmured, stroking his hair softly. he just let out burp after burp, unable to stop himself. “now i can fuck you.”

the sounds he made as you stripped off his belt, pants, and boxers were… pathetic, to say the least. he wouldn’t stop thrusting up into the air, he was so desperate for your touch. once you finally got his bottoms off, you sat for a second, taking in the sight that was in front of you. he lay there on the couch, sweater pulled up slightly to expose his bloated stomach, cock red, twitching, and leaking precum, and the most desperate expression on his face.

when you finally began to peel off your clothes, schlatt waited patiently, clenching and unclenching his fists over and over. as soon as you were completely naked, you took his length in one hand and began pumping him at a generous pace. instantly he was a moaning, grunting mess, stopping every few moments to let out another burp involuntarily. pleased with his reactions, you climbed on top of him once more and hover over his tip.

“please…” he muttered with drowsy eyes. you chuckled to yourself and kneaded his large stomach again.

“quiet, fatty.” smiling cruelly down at him, you shoved his abdomen roughly and giggled when he let out another burp. and then, with no warning at all, you sank down onto him, earning a loud yelp, which he immediately felt embarrassed by. you gave him no time to adjust; you simply started rolling your hips as you watched his helpless expressions, head tossed back in pure bliss.

“look at you, so big you can’t even move under me. i gotta do all the work, you lazy fuck.” his cock throbbed deep inside you, throwing you off your rhythm. “oh, fuck! god, you fat fuckin’ loser, don’t do that! cannot believe you’re this into being shamed like this…” schlatt let out a whine and brought his hands to grip your waist, now staring at the way your chest moved with every gyration of your hips.

as you moved his hands to grip your breasts, you changed it up and started bouncing up and down along his shaft, smacking down against him every time. “god, you feel good for a disgusting slob, i’ll give you that.” he twitched again inside you and squeezed your tits tighter, eliciting whorish noises from you.

“i wonder if you’ll last long enough for me to make myself cum,” you thought aloud. schlatt moaned at the prospect of being used like a toy and let his eyes flutter closed. “even if you don’t, i’ll keep going. i’m not leaving until you’ve cum inside me and i’ve cum on your cock.”

“please, please, oh my god,” he whimpered, not even asking for anything in particular. “i’m so close, i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” his voice got higher as he went on, and his eyes were scrunched shut— he was trying so hard not to cum yet, all he wanted was to cum at the same time as you.

but that was not fated to happen on this night, as he spilled his seed in you a few minutes later. he borderline screamed as he came, roused on by your filthy words.

“yeah, cum for me, you stupid fuckin’ asshole. can’t even make me feel good; you’re so pathetic. absolutely pitiful. all you’re good for is eating and breeding, hmm? fatass,” you mocked him. just like you said, you kept going, riding him more passionately than you had before. “fuck, i can’t believe i thought you were a somewhat normal guy. you’re such a freak!!”

he winced at the harsh words through lidded eyes, dick pulsing inside you again. you placed a hand on his stomach once more and used it to steady yourself as you rocked your hips back and forth furiously, masterfully sliding up and down his length, coating it in his cum with every bounce.

“it’s a good thing i know what i’m doing,” you giggled as you inched closer and closer to your orgasm. “you can’t fuck for shit.” his hands went to clutch your hip bones, gripping onto you for dear life as you ground down onto him.

“y-you feel so good…” schlatt babbled, pupils blown and a fucked out expression on his face.

“yeah?” you scoffed down at him. “you don’t deserve it. a fat fuck like you, getting used by someone like me? you’re so lucky.” he let out a shaky whine as you sped up, nails leaving deep, angry crescents where he was clamping onto you.

“i’m so lucky,” he repeated.

“yeah, there we go! stupid boy understands his privilege.”

“i’m so lucky!!” he cried out again, slightly thrusting up into you.

“you pathetic prick,” you jeered, recognizing his change in behavior. “are you gonna cum again?”

schlatt removed his hands from your waist and brought them to cover his face. “s-soon,” he mumbled, his words muffled.

“if you cum twice before i do even once, i’m making you down another beer.” the threat was clear, and he couldn’t tell if he wanted to finish again or not.

“can i fuck you? please,” he begged after a moment of contemplating his options.

grinning, you stopped moving and let him take over. you weren’t expecting him to do as good as he did, given how full he was, but he grabbed your hips once more and began bouncing you up and down, switching to ram his cock into you every now and then. the pace he set made you feel incredible; he was slamming so deep inside you you swore he was bruising your womb.

“oh, fuck!!” you screeched, arching your back and taking your breasts in your hands. schlatt bit his lip and bucked his hips harder, savoring the screams you let out with every thrust. unfortunately, he couldn’t hide how close he was getting— the bruises he had left where he squeezed your soft skin would last for days, and he was letting out the saddest little whimpers. he tried to hold it for as long as he could, but eventually, his hips faltered and you felt him release inside you for the second time.

“are you fucking kidding me???” you yelled before returning to rolling your hips. he had gotten you much closer, so you weren’t too mad. plus, now you got to make him chug another drink.

“i’m sorry!”

“’sorry’ isn’t good enough,” you spat back through gritted teeth. “’sorry’ isn’t going to make me cum.”

“i know, i’m sorry,” he said again. “i’ll make it up to you.”

“of course you will. you think this is gonna be the only time we fuck? dumbass.”

schlatt let out a breathless laugh and rested his head back. “thank god,” he mumbled. his words made you smile again, and you bounced on his cock faster and faster until the knot in your stomach reached a point of no return.

“oh my god!!!” you shrieked as you clenched around him, stars dancing around your vision. you sat there, chest heaving, until you felt like you could move off of him. as soon as you did, you grabbed another beer and handed it to him after opening it.

“please, no.” he eyed you tiredly, just wanting to clean up and go to bed with you.

“drink it all. and then we can sleep, or whatever.”

with an exaggerated sigh, he accepted the can and drank it as fast as he could. you watched as he tossed the empty can away and made a few uncomfortable faces before letting out a massive belch.

“there we go, big boy. that’s all i wanted.” you pressed a kiss to his lips and one to his stomach. “let’s go cuddle.”

[nvuy]

HII i'm the anon from before who asked for writing advice !! thank you so much for answering omg (≧▽≦)

i'm not gonna start the tumblr blog idea 'til i actually feel confident in my writing (and already have a few things i can post), which i don't at the moment!

i really wanna write self-indulgent fics and if someone happens to relate then that's great!! thing is, my writing feels bland at the moment and rarely do i have any ideas to actually make into a fic (unlike right now. my brain's flooded with ideas all of a sudden..)

point is! i wanna give my writing a sort of descriptive/poetic feel and i know for sure a wide vocabulary isn't enough, even though it *is* a huge part of the style,, if that makes sense. how should i go about this? so sorry if i'm bothering u with all these writing questions!!!

enjoy the rest of your week nd stay cool <33

ur not bothering me at all, lovely. dont worry about it. i think i am the queen of self indulgent fics so there’s nothing to stress abt and i enjoy explaining how my stupid brain works.

description ;

a wide range of vocabulary isn’t necessary. it helps to know some special words and you’re welcome to incorporate them, but some of the best poetry ive read comes from its simplicity. a lot of people dont really want to read constant droning description; as much as i enjoy writing it myself, i hate authors like charles dickens with a passion. you can tell when a writer was being paid per word rather than how many times the book sells. and fuck his stupid ass christmas book.

a tip i can give you is to do what i do, which is to hand pick words depending on the scene.

i’ll use an example because i know that made zero sense: picture a very basic fairycore forest with pink plants and fireflies. this setting, from the description alone, should explain that this forest is a nice and small tucked away and pretty place. we add a stream that runs along the treeline. let’s describe the stream specifically. which sentence sounds better to you?

The white waters that part the soil flow down the centre of the earth, and divide the trees in two.

The clear waters that part the dirt splash down the middle of the path, and section the forest in two.

now, im hoping to the gods that you think the first one is better. the sentences are exactly the same in terms of definition, and the description depicts the same thing, but its the words used that make the first sentence softer, and therefore the setting seems a lot more peaceful by default.

if you use words with harder and rougher consonants throughout—i’m not telling you to avoid them—will make the sentence sound rougher, at least to me. harder sounds like ‘t’ and ‘k,’ as an example. words like ‘white’ i think, despite the hard ending, are still particularly softer, because the ‘wh’ sound at the beginning serves almost as a counterbalance. it’s why the word ‘clear’ sounds rougher; because it starts with a harder sound despite its softer ending.

it has nothing to do with magical sixteen letter words that nobody understands. learning new big words is cool and you’re welcome to use them, but if i see you writing: And the river is so beautiful, so stupendous, so marvelous, so loquacious… i will kill you with my bare hands.

something i also avoid is repeating the same words over and over again. using the stream as an example still, if you’re going to refer to it again and again, dont just use the word ‘stream.’ you sound like a parrot. change it up. look up synonyms if you’re not sure, or simply describe it also as ‘the water.’ the thesaurus is your best friend.

sometimes you can repeat words to emphasise them, or the passing of times. you can do this, but make sure it appears deliberate.

example:

even in confiteor when i was forced to write the word ‘cock’ 5600 times, i broke it up. frankly because i dont really know what other word to use that doesn’t sound awkward or cringe, so in between verses, i tossed in exposition, internal musings, thoughts and feelings, etc, to change up the repeated use of the word.

i Hope… that made sense . .

dropping cliches ;

cliches are inherently bad things, but there’s a lot of things you can do to differentiate stereotypical phrases and such from the norm.

for example: a confession “i love you.”

BORINGGGGG. put it in the bin (im kidding but you can make it more interesting or heartfelt).

observe the typical: “im in love with you.”

now, in my opinion, it’s better than the former. it sounds more sincere. ‘i love you’ on its own could refer to many different types of love, but “im in love with you” is romance.

scrap the obvious and toss out the word ‘love:’ “i’ll never grow tired of your voice.”

now obviously poetic prose wont always work depending on the character doing the confessing. i could imagine someone like argenti prattling and waxing poetry for nine hours.

someone like boothill, however, in all of his inelegance, you can have more fun with.

observe again: “i trust you.”

“but wait nvuy that’s not a love confession.” it’s called subtly. and, if you’ve written it correctly, i shouldnt have to hear a ‘i love you’ to understand that the two people you’re writing about are in love. i should be able to understand that through interactions and exchanges beyond that. i based old habits around that; you didnt have to see the mc and scaramouche smooch to know that they were in love.

there’s so many ways to explain the feelings of romance without saying “[X] was in love with [Y].” UNLESS you use it for a comedic and abrupt effect that the character themselves is feeling, and not so much you as the narrator telling your audience that the character is in love.

the romance you write can be slow and gentle or quick or hostile or muddied or confusing. make it so through words and actions. it’s all in the ‘show don’t tell.’

so if you want to combine my tips you can write your own gooey gross romantic self indulgent fics just like me and then force feed them to your friends YIPPEEEEEE

[dontexpectmuch]

Part 5 - Lost in Madrid

-

author note; i know i made u guys wait for quite some time, but i hope i can make it up to u with this long-ish part. let me know what you think! enjoy btw they make out and stuff, but nothing too explicit :)

-

series.masterlist

-

the unpleasant feeling of nervousness mixed with guilt spreads through your body, the sour taste in your mouth making you almost regret your decision, almost.

you have to remind yourself over and over again why you are even doing this, like a mantra that your mother forced you to remember back then. Sweat tickles down your neck and your cheeks feel warm, the distant voices filling the halls finding their way to your ears, as if to distract you from your mission. senor lagardes closed door is the only thing holding you back from going in, it almost looks at you mockingly, as if you won't be able to go through with it.

Inhaling deeply one last time, you raise your hand and knock on the door, a deep voce giving you permission to enter immediately.

“ah, linda!” his voice calls out, happiness painting his features.

you smile at him and close the door behind you, not understanding why you got even more nervous all of a sudden. you spent many breaks in this room, senor lagarde was always kind enough to let you work in here whenever you needed a quiet place to work.

“i hope i’m not bothering you?” your voice is stable, you think, your hands however feel clammy, and you feel your rapid heartbeat in your throat.

senor chuckles, clearly amused by your behaviour, “you could never bother me, how can i help you?”

a sigh leaves your lips, tongue poking out to wet them, “i wanted to ask if it is okay for me to switch teams?”

his eyebrows shoot up, however instead of saying anything he just nods, urging you to continue.

“i would like to see how the volleyball players develop, you know? The footballers almost understand everything, there would be nothing for me to watch anymore.”

you resist the urge to cringe as you watch senor hum at your words, he must think that you are some weird kid that does not know that they want. you remember telling him just how much you enjoy watching the footballers, and now all of a sudden you request to change the teams, fucking paradox [or desparate?].

“i understand. just go to their coach and explain the situation, nothing to worry about.” even though he smiles at you, deep creases around his mouth and eyes, you wish to do nothing more but break down and explain everything, or even ask for hid advice, maybe even both. senor has started to become the father figure you missed over the few years, always going out of his way to make you feel at home and comfortable.

and you? you decide to leave his side because you’re nothing more than a coward, not knowing how to deal with your feelings and this whole situation to begin with.

you nod, lips pulled into a straight line, “thanks. i’ll make sure to visit you as much as i can.”

you bid your goodbye and leave the room, sad smile somehow not leaving your lips as you walk dow the hall to amandas classroom. You need a shoulder to lean on, and though you have not updated her about the situation, you can count on her to be there for you.

your steps are fast, the fear of meeting him fueling your body to move in a pace that got you almost jogging. though you try to be subtle, your eyes frantically look around, avoiding and searching for him, just so you can avoid him and reach your friends room in peace.

“so, everything was fine, but you avoid him because…?” amanda eyes you skeptically, leaning back against her chair with her arms crossed. one might think that she is scolding you with how you sit in front of her desk, hands placed on your lap and guilt written over your features.

groaning, you throw your head back, shoulders sacking, “i can’t be with him, manda. i won’t be here in a few months, like, that wouldn’t be fair”.

everything was just perfect that night, the vibes, his scent, his soft lips and the warmth that spread through you as he pulled you closer by your waist, deepening the kiss in a way that has never happened to you before. his brown eyes were so kind when he smiled down at you, making the stars in the sky jealous of the sparkle inside of them.

amandas stern voice pulls you out of your thoughts floating around jude, making you flinch, “no, you are being unfair to him, not the time or whatever you think it might be.” her eyes pierce through yours, “you basically are playing with his feelings at his points.”

“we don’t know if he actually likes me like that, i mean he could-“

“bullshit, that guy ran after you for months just to be even considered your friend, stop denying the truth.” amanda cuts you off, wording the thoughts you had, but were to coward to admit.

you sigh once again, head in your hands, “well, its too late anyway, i tried to avoid him for the past week, he probably hates me by now.”

“just talk to him, linda. he is a very mature guy for his age and will definitely listen to you.”

you know that she is telling the truth, that you are being unfair and that without trying, you’d never know how it would work out anyway. and though you already knew all of this somehow [did you really?], hearing someone else say it helps you gain a clearer view of the situation.

nodding, you get up seeing that the time has come to move to your own classroom, hugging amanda goodbye before leaving her room. the refreshing feeling of determination takes place inside you [might also be nervousness] as you take confident steps towards your room. you only have to finish this lesson, sprint to the field and wait for training to end, then you can talk to him and get things clear.

amanda is right, though jude is [adoringly] annoying, he is quite mature and will listen to you, and hopefully understand the reason for your avoidance the past week.

what you however failed to realize is that jude can be also quite emotional, stubborn and really talented when it comes to make one feel like they did the biggest mistake known to mankind.

because when yours and judes eyes meet as he walks through the gate, he immediately looks away and fastens his steps, beelining to his mother’s car. you always forgot just how fast jude is, his long legs making helping him move quicker than the average person.

you run after him, hand holding your bag to stop it from sliding off your shoulder, “jude! c`mon just listen to me this one time!” you call after him, fighting off your smile [and the butterflies in your stomach] as you see his steps flatter when he hears your voice.

he halts suddenly, making you almost collide with his back before he spins around to face you, his eyes holding a certain emotion in them that you can't exactly describe. all the confidence that you held in you vanishes as you look at him, his whole demeanor making you feel small.

as you open your mouth to force something out of it, jude beats you to it, his voice so deep that it makes your core clench, “you are fucking mean.”

your heart drops, everything around you stills as you look at his eyes defeated, not sure how to move on now. it’s the first time you hear him say something so, hurtful, especially towards you.

“jude, i-“

“i really thought you felt the same, like, shit, that was probably one of the best things to happen me ever since i came to madrid,” he scoffs, shaking his head, “and what? am i just some baller for you to fuck to get fame? really?”

you mouth hangs open as you try to find the right words to say, but oh how bad his words make you feel. did he carry these thoughts with him for the past week? fuck, you are the worst person ever, he didn’t do anything to deserve all of this, and you definitely do not deserve him in any way.

as your eyes dance around his face, still unsure how to reply to him, jude scoffs, light smirk - though it is anything but a good sign - on his lips as he looks down, hands resting on his hips. he turns on his heels, away from you, to continue his way to his mother’s car. each step he takes makes him feel a stab to his heart, even though you were the one who hurt him, he still can’t help but horrible.

that feeling mirrors itself inside your chest, too, and you decide to speak up, letting any and everything that just comes to your mind, “you were so annoying at first, i genuinely didn’t want to be in any relationship with you, at all.”

the sound of your voice makes him halt, eyebrows raised as he turns around, “is that supposed to make me feel better-“

“and i thought you were some over confident, spoiled and entitled footballer that thought that everyone wants them.” you cut him off, taking a step towards him, feeling better as you see that jude does the same, his eyes looking at yours.

“and it hurts me to admit it, but yes, i also thought, no -i still think that, you were - and really are, attractive, not the slightest bit arrogant and a sweetheart. yes, we had a weird start, but as you kinda forced yourself into my space, in a good way, i came to like you, fuck, i even missed you even though you were standing right next to me.” your cheeks burn as you just admitted all that to jude, the feeling even increasing as you watch his lips form to a smile, the one that he usually wore when he started to tease you for something.

“and that’s why you ghosted me? after that night?” jude takes another step forward, tilting his head to the side. his eyes never leave you, the warm temperature doing no good as a cold shiver runs down your spine. you feel goosebumps spreading over your body, the slight tingling almost going unnoticed because of the emotions you feel inside of you.

“i,” you speak up again, lump forming in your throat. you inhale deeply, “i’m not gonna be here for much longer, jude.”

fuck, have you always been this emotional? you let your eyes look up the baby blue sky, trying to reform your thoughts to make them make sense.

“even though i want it, like, really want to be with you, i can’t do that to neither of us. what would happen after i leave?” your voice grows weak towards the end of you sentence, the bag and a certain weight on your shoulders making them sack.

a sigh leaves judes plump lips, the ones that felt so soft against yours, warming up your entire body even though they only ever touched one spot. you know that now is not the right time to fantasize about the feeling again [there is no wrong time for it either], but the sudden urge to feel them again almost makes you go feral.

“i wish i could understand you.” jude makes you regain your senses, your eyes snap up to his eyes.

that probably means he won’t forgive you, you think, the unpleasant feelings from this morning returning. you should’ve known, why would he even forgive you for cutting him off so suddenly?

his big hand suddenly grabs your shoulder, then moves to grab your bag’s strap to move it off from it to put it on his. you watch his moves quietly, trying to understand what he is doing.

is he going to steal your bag as a revenge? [you definitely yap too much, you admit]

“let’s continue this at mine’s.”

that’s all jude as before he turns away to walk to his mother’s car once more, stunning you to your core.

“come on!” he yells back at you, a few meters away from his past position.

your legs move before you even notice it, quickly following him to the sleek black car where his mother already waves at you happily, which you return just as happily.

“hi, darling.” denise greets you as you enter the car and close the cafe behind you, turning her upper body to look at you properly.

“hey, how have you been?” you smile reaches your eyes for the first time since last week, comfortable air surrounding you.

throughout your entire small talk and the drive back to their home, jude just quietly sits in the passenger seat, looking out the window. his mother tries to include him into the conversation every once in awhile, though he doesn’t really respond to anything.

the pit of nervousness inside you only continues to grow when you enter the home and listen to jude telling his mother that the two of you will be talking in his room. your body follows him as if it is on autopilot. you can feel your heartbeat down to your toes, your hands are cold and your eyes look around his room when you sit down on his grey sofa.

jude puts both bags down next to the small coffee table in front of the sofa, then turns to walk to his big closet to change of of his training clothes into something more comfortable. all while you are in the room. watching him. you should look away, you think, and that is what you do [though you don’t want to].

instead, you decide to look around some more, impressed by how big his room is. all of it is held in a dark tone, greys, blacks and whites present through the entire room. his king sized bed is in the middle of the wall in front of you, two small tables next to each side. he has polaroid pictures of friends and family above the right bedside table, the wall above the left one left blank.

the grey sofa you are sitting on is across the bed, in front of it the small coffee table with a bottle of water and two glasses on top. his closet is on the right side of the room, next to it he has a drawer with different perfumes lined up on top of it.

his room looks like it is cut out from pinterest, but at the same time it just screams that it belongs to none other than jude bellingham. scattered pieces of clothing is present on the floor, some moving boxes pushed to one corner begging to be opened and the light on the ceiling is just one light bulb. a perfect example of what kind of person jude is, you guess.

you suddenly feel the cushion of the sofa next to you sink, jude now sitting next to you. he put on some grey sweatpants and a white shirt, his scent invading your personal space, though you do nothing but welcome it with open arms. you truly have missed him, though you suck at showing it to him.

“you actually like me like that?” his voice sounds giddy as he slightly pushes his shoulder against yours, making you groan as you put your elbows against your knees with your head in your hands.

“is that all you heard?” you ask, looking at him.

jude smiles down at you, taking one of your hand inside of his as he intertwines your fingers with his, “well, yeah. the important stuff only.” he shrugs.

he just shrugged, as if your fears are nonexistent. as if they aren’t a problem to you guy’s relationship. he didn’t invalidate them, you know it. he is too considerate to do so, but you just don’t know what to feel, if you’re honest.

“jude…” you begin, sighing.

“listen,” he sits up, your hand still in his as he clears his throat, “i understand what you mean, i really do. but that’s in the future, and we have lots of time til then. trust me when i say that i am serious about you - about us. if you let me.”

“let you what?” your voice is small, not wanting to ruin the moment by speaking too loudly.

“let me be serious about an us. let me get to know you even more, let me be your man.”

judes words stun you, knocking out all the air from your lungs as you just sit there and look at him. if your heart was beating like crazy when you first came into this room, it surely will jump out of your chest with how fast it is beating now.

“so, you just forgive me? even though i was so mean to you?”

jude pulls you closer by your hand, now your upper body rests against his as your cheek is squished against his broad chest. you feel him rest his head on too of yours, a content sigh leaving him as if he finally found peace.

“i guess, if you-“

“i won’t have sex with you now.”

“-become my girlfriend, but okay.” he scoffs, “you really think sex is the only thing on my mind.” [with you, it mostly is]

“kinda.” you shrug, not even fighting off the smile on your lips.

“so?”

“hm? so what?” you lift your head to look at him, his arms still hugging your body.

“be my girlfriend?” the way he asks you, the way his big brown eyes shine as he looks down at you and the way his lips stretch to a beautiful smile, showing his pearly whites make your shoulders relax.

“i’d love to.” you mirror his smile, putting your head back on his chest and closing your eyes.

“i can’t believe you won’t come back.” jude complains as he takes your bag out of your hands, watching you wave goodbye to the volleyball players on the court.

rolling your eyes, you turn back to home to walk home, gently pinching his arm, “i actually enjoy watching them. all of them are fun and volleyball is a cool sport.”

“cooler than football?”

you just shrug as an answer, teasing smile causing him to bump his shoulder against yours.

the distance to your home isn’t long, the walk filled with comfortable conversations and teasing smiles thrown at each other. you still won’t hold his hand in public, not comfortable at the thought that someone else might see you. and though jude tried to convince you for the past week to just go for it, he respects your wish to go slow, wanting to savor the moments. [if he could, he would push you against the wall, though, and-]

“i fucking hate these stairs.” your boyfriend, yes, your very own, very cool, very talented-

“you’re an athlete, jude, two flights of stairs shouldn’t be a problem.” you grin down at him, already walking up the stairs.

you hear him groan behind you, your fit of giggles interrupted as jude suddenly leans his upper body against yours from behind you, causing you to almost stumble over the steps.

“carry me.” his strong arms circle around your waist, his cheek resting on your back.

the weather today was mild, you’d say, not like the past few weeks where even one step would make you sweat buckets. but now with jude hugging - well more like holding onto you for support - warmth is washing over you.

you try to pry him off by twisting your body and using your arms, but his grip only gets tighter, noises of refusal leaving his throat in protest. if you don’t hold onto the rails, you would have definitely fallen down by now, judes weight pulls you down so much that even your legs start to shake.

“jude, let go!” you laugh, finally getting his hands away from your body to quickly move up the stairs.

jude looks up to you from his position, leaning against the railing. his smirk makes your knees weak once more, the air around you two causing a certain dizziness arise inside you.

“carry me.”

“no.”

“is that your mum?” you hear jude ask from the living room, turning around as you dry your hands to look at him.

he is standing in front of your photo wall, many pictures scattered across it from different places, people and memories. you knew that you would be leaving madrid soon, but having those pictures on your wall, just where you can see them makes you feel even more at home, like you never left to begin with.

you walk around your counter to stand next to jude, smiling as your eyes look at the pictures, all the moments flooding your mind.

“yeah, she’s really photogenic.” you smile at him, heart beating fast when you see him inspecting the picture even more.

“same thing can be said about you, eh?”

his teasing smile reappears on his lips as he wiggles his eyebrows.

you groan, leaving his side to sit on your couch, not in the mood for his antics, “please don’t, i don’t have the energy to feel insecure about my pictures.”

you don’t hear him anymore, leaning your head back against the couch and closing your eyes. though you only stood by the sidelines, you feel quite drained from today. the new rules and names alongside the warm air inside the indoor field making your head pound uncomfortably. you definitely don’t regret that you changed teams, it’s refreshing and you habe always liked volleyball, but you also miss señor lagarde and judes loud shouting across the field sometimes.

deep in thought, you don’t notice how jude starts to walk around the couch, now standing behind you. his hands slowly move to your shoulders, he even has to lean down a bit. you only truly notice his presence behind you when his hands start to massage your tense shoulders and your neck, unlocking a deep moan from you.

“oh, fuck.” you moan again, especially when his fingers start to press against the sides of the crook of your neck.

jude stays quiet, seemingly calm and collected even though you are quite literally a moaning mess [his mind is a stark contrast to his outer appearance]. his upper body moves down some more, until his face is next to yours, hot breath fanning your neck and exposed shoulder.

you shudder when you feel his warm lips on your akin, feather like kisses dancing around, trailing after his fingers as they massage your shoulders, down to your arm. his lips stay on your neck, slowly move to your earlobe as he nibbles on it slightly. you take deep breaths to collect yourself, but suddenly he starts to suck at a certain spot behind your ear, whiny moan leaving you before you can even register.

“fuck, jude,” you speak up, leaning away from his touch to turn around, “c’mere.” you say, more like demand, which he happily does.

you don’t know when or how it happens, for one moment you are on his lap, hands behind his neck as your fingers dance along his muscles, his tongue moving inside your mouth as to explore it. his hands love up and down your waist, coming to a halt on your butt when he suddenly pushed your closer to him. you could feel his strong thighs underneath yours, however one thing that blinded your senses the most was his growing member that pushed against your core.

the next moment, all of it feels like a haze, you are on top of your bed, lips never leaving his as your hands cup his cheeks, deepening the kiss if that was even possible.

you have always thought that you have gotten used to the warm weather and could deal with it, but the air around you two was different, more demanding, more intense. it was like being pushed against jude without a way to escape, not that you would ever dare to leave this situation.

his hands hold onto your hips desperately, and you think it will leave marks if he continues to do so, yet you are too busy to care, judes lips trailing down your jaw to your neck sending you to a whole other world.

how could you ever think that it wouldn’t be worth to try it out? you should definitely thank amanda the next time you see her.

“can i?” judes voice comes out deep, his brown eyes staring into yours so intensely, almost making you lose your control.

such a simple question, and you definitely know the answer to it, but judes entire demeanor makes you halt for a second, just so you can appreciate it a bit more. so simple yet so demanding. so intense yet oh so soft. if you could, you would stay like this for the rest of your stay here in madrid, cherishing this moment throughly with every fiber of your being.

“yes.”

and that’s all he needs to hear before he captures your lips with his again.

here you go!

i havent proofread it yet, but i hope you still like it :) lmk!!

[meguyummy]

pls see the vision lets have a reddit love story guys! reader owns a book store, izuku's a nerd, pt 1.

--

Internet anonymity is something that you abuse often. Who could really blame you, though?

It's late evening, almost closing time. Sat behind the counter in your small antique bookstore, the only noises you hear are the occasional rustling and crunching of autumn leaves. Today was a slow day, and you're insanely bored. Pulling out your phone, you wonder which app to kill time on before closing up shop. Twitter has been uninteresting, and YouTube has irritatingly long unskippable ads. So recently, you've turned to Reddit. More specifically, r/HeroSnark.

Initially, all your critiques on heroes were posted on Twitter, long and profane rants that got you suspended multiple times. You gained a following for being an outspoken "hero hater", but the sheer amount of die-hard All Might fans who almost found your location deterred further posting. Hating in peace was way more fun than getting swatted.

Has anybody else noticed how sloppy Pinky is getting with her acid recently? Public damage is out the fucking wazoo. Istg if I see another hole in the sidewalk I'll riot.

After posting to the subreddit, you turn off your phone and stand up, ready to flip the sign on the door to "closed" and head home. That's when the work phone rings. Of fucking course that's when the phone rings.

Plopping back down with a groan, you yank the phone out of the receiver and greet the caller, wondering if they've ever checked your closing time (or have, and were just shameless enough to not care).

"Hi! I noticed you have a copy of Captain Cosmos' special edition autobiography and I was wondering if you could hold it for me. I'll pay extra!"

You cringe, scrunching up your face at the phone. The voice on the was certainly.. enthusiastic. The caller was a guy, with a deep, but still somewhat boyish voice. He must be a fanboy on a different level if he liked Captain Cosmos, an ancient and mostly irrelevant hero. Your store offered all kinds of obscure old books, and despite your personal dislike, you knew better than to hurt business by not selling hero media.

"Yeah... I could do that if you're planning on coming to pick it up within the next two days. Are you?" You hope your exhaustion isn't too obvious from your voice.

"Yes! Yeah, I am. Thank you so so much I've been looking all over for it. I'll be there tomorrow!"

You say both say parting words, and you put the phone down, closing up quickly so no other last-minute calls can stall you. Walking up the stairs you retire to your apartment.

Living above the shop was a dream come true, allowing you to thrive without the possibility of an annoying downstairs neighbor. The space was cozy, designed perfectly to your liking after years of living there. After a relaxing shower, you slump into the couch. Checking the post, you read replies from others who have noticed the exact same issue and are equally frustrated by it, some even bringing up more problems you hadn't even noticed yet. You upvote a couple responses, reply to others, and turn on a sitcom.

The amount of bitching done online doesn't mean you're an asshole to people in real life too. Not to normal people, at least. The fact that heroes act like celebrities instead of the crucial emergency workers they really are grinds your gears. Who needs to see Can't Stop Twinkling's annoying ass on TV for something that isn't a rescue? There's a pedestal that they always put themselves on, like they're all-mighty and amazing and need to be praised, but their actions never speak enough for your liking.

A new reply catches your attention, and your brows furrow reading it. This is probably because she's been suffering injuries from her last mission and has still been pushing herself to work and save civilians! We should all be a little bit nicer :)

You frown, blinking hard down at your phone at the reply. Why the hell is.. u/minimight on here to spread positivity? Wrong place for that, bud. You pause the sitcom and sit up from your slouching position on the couch, readying your thumbs.

First, the downvote button gets smashed. Hard.

Dude, I honestly couldn't give less of a fuck that she's injured. If she can be a guest judge on The Masked Singer while injured, she can try a little harder to not make the sidewalk in my area look like Swiss cheese.

Why would anybody who likes heroes spend any time in that subreddit? The whole point is being able to dunk on them freely. You're not going to let some random guilt-trip you.

A reply comes in a minute later. The sidewalk is going to be fixed soon, it was just a minor inconvenience that came during her battle to save a life!

Way to make it deeper than it was supposed to be, u/minimight. You send another quick downvote.

Don't care lol save it for a hero-dickeating subreddit, not this one. You type.

While I understand your frustration, we should give more grace! I know how inconvenient and annoying things like this are, but not everything turns out as planned.

Holy shit they're not done. You don't really feel like arguing with a hero stan tonight, so you reply with a photoshopped picture of All Might in a clown suit.

They quickly reply. I just wish more people would have an open mind on these issues.

Yeah, u/minimight is gonna feel the banhammer soon. After swiftly downvoting their reply, you click on their account. They're a member of a couple All Might subreddits, which are expected, but also some more snark ones as well. They've written a couple of long posts written about random obscure heroes and their 'impact on hero culture'. Seeing that, you decide to write them off another annoying hero superfan and turn your phone off, changing the TV to a movie you've wanted to watch for a while.

Disappointed, (the movie was way worse than you expected) you switch off the TV and head to bed. As you lie there in the darkness, the image of All Might in a clown suit comes to mind, bringing a slight smile to your lips. Maybe tomorrow will be a less annoying day, free from hero fanatics.

[augustghosts]

Plastic Trees

Tommy Miller x Fem!reader

Ok, I’m sooo nervous to post this lmao. I’ve convinced myself that it sucks. This isn’t everyone's cup of tea so make sure you read the warnings! I did the classic me thing by wanting to get right into the story, so there isn’t much of a backstory here but I have future chapters planned (and may have already started writing them) if anyone is interested. So let me know if you enjoy and want more <3 Thank you for reading!

Word Count: 3.4k

Warning: 18+! This isn’t proof read so lmk if u spot any dire mistakes. Kidnapping duh, kind of dark!tommy i guess? Or maybe just very ooc. guns and swearing and all that typical tlou stuff. Reader is an adult, obviously. Handjob, slight voyeurism, face fucking.

This is the worst part. Night time, or at least she thought it was night time. The countdown to morning, wondering if they will even come back down. Wondering if this was the night they pack up and leave, leaving her to die alone down here. The basement was always dark, day or night. But these next few hours were the worst, it would get quiet. No footsteps or shouting. Only a few steps every now and then of whoever was up to keep watch while everyone else slept.

She knew who was on watch tonight, it must be Tommy. She knows this now, she's been down here long enough to know their patterns. She knows it’s Tommy because every hour or so the footsteps sound above her and a shadow appears at the basement door. It lingers for a while and then retreats. She wonders what he thinks, is he toying with her? Is he just trying to listen? See what she’s doing? Or, does his hand linger over the door knob, does he ever think about coming down? Does he ever think about letting her out?

She’s convinced that he does. Or maybe she’s convinced herself that to make herself feel better, either way - Tommy is different. He has softer eyes than his brother. He asks her if she’s okay, despite her answer always being something along the lines of go fuck yourself. Tommy is the only one who actually told her his name. His brother Joel, she only knows after hearing Tommy say it. All of this - Tommy looking at her sweetly and sneaking her extra food is what led to this. She's crouched at the bottom of the stairs. Tommy’s silhouette is lingering by the door. A few seconds and he retreats. His footsteps echo above her, getting quieter as he reaches the other side of the house. Her heart is hammering in her chest, her blood rushing as she steps up onto the first stair. The wood creaks under her, the same way it does when one of them walks down them. She cringes - she listens. When she hears nothing above her, she takes a chance and steps up onto the next one.

She knows the door isn’t locked. The world was years into an apocalypse, this house is run down. The closest thing they had to a lock was making her believe there was someone on the other side 24/7. And usually, there was. Until night, she guesses they think she's asleep - so they would wander around the house. They go stand by the front door instead, keeping watch.

As she ascends the steps, Tommy is above her. Leaning against the dirty kitchen counter. His gun on the old marble in front of him. Easy job, my ass, he thinks. The day he stops listening to Joel is the day he will know peace. Kidnapping someone, locking them in a basement and waiting to hand her off to a group of fuckers who are planning to do god knows what. This is not an easy job. As if to illustrate his point, a gust of wind blows over the house and it creaks. The shitty windows sound awful as the rain pounds against it. Fuck this. He wants to go home. He straightens up and swings his gun back in over his shoulder, planning to do another lap of the house as boredom takes over him.

He freezes as he hears a familiar squeak. It’s not the house this time, it’s those damn noisy basement stairs. He walks slowly, quietly - and peeks around the corner down the hallway. The door is closed. He peeks round into what used to be the living room of this house, Joel and the rest of their group are asleep on the floor and on various old couches. He’s still frozen in place, listening. Another creak echoes from the hallway. He creeps closer, obviously more stealthy than the person on the stairs. Another creak as they reach the top stair, he knows the sound is more hollow than the rest of the stairs. He dips into another room as the basement door handle begins to turn slowly. Her hesitation is obvious, the door is opened slowly - she’s slow, not wanting it to make too much of a noise.

She looks out into the hallway, holy shit - it’s empty. She can see the front door from where she’s standing. She knows the lounge is on the left, and she knows they’re all in there. She can hear the rain and wind up here too. Shit, she’s wearing a shitty pair of jeans and a t-shirt. The same thing she had been wearing since they snatched her up. She opens the door wider and takes a step out, the house is silent. Where the fuck did Tommy go? She takes a few more quiet steps, excitement building inside of her. Excitement to feel the rain and wind on her skin. Excitement to go home.

Her pathetic excitement turns to pure fear and adrenaline as she hears the familiar click of a shotgun beside her. As she passes a dark room on the right of her, a cold metal barrel is pressed to the side of her head. Her hands instinctively rise up, surrender.

“Turn around.” Tommy’s familiar voice - he’s quiet, trying not to wake the others. Her hand flexes at her side, contemplating grabbing the gun. What would she do with it? She has no fucking clue. But she’s so close to the front door.

“Don’t.” He says. “Just turn around.”

“Please, Tommy.” She tries. Her voice was shaking. He almost felt bad. She turned to look at him, face to face with the gun aimed at her head.

“Please what?” He’s still whispering. His voice was deeper than usual when he did.

“Let me go.”

“Yeah, right. Turn around.” He scoffs. Stepping out into the hallway and blocking her way. He’s much taller than her, his height is intimidating as he towers over her, crowding her back down into the basement. She takes a few steps back as he takes a few forward.

“The door is right there. You- you could let me go.” She tries to bargain as he continues to walk forwards, forcing her to walk back into the doorway.

“Oh yeah? And then what? I’m supposed to be on watch, so you escaping is my fault. Then you die out there and we don’t get paid.”

“Please i-“ She starts again, resorting back to pleading with him. She’s so worked up she forgets about the steps. Tommy stops her before she can fall backwards, his large hands reaching around her waist. He’s in charge now, he’s standing in the doorway holding her above the stairs. Blocking her exit, and if he lets go of her - she falls. She’s looking up at him, her eyes big and tearful. Fear evident on her face. Her hands are tightly gripping the front of his jacket, trying to steady herself.

“What now princess?” He says, his voice rumbles.

“Hm?” He prompts as she doesn’t reply. She’s honestly at a loss for words. She’s not sure if it’s because this is not what she planned, or wether is being so close to him like this.

“Are you gonna be good?” He asks. She hates the way her stomach stirs. She wants nothing more than to push him away. “Are you gonna go back down? You don’t have many options.”

She continues to stare at him, weighing her options. She looks at the door behind him and he smirks, an idea popping into his head. He pretends to let her go, one of his arms dropping away from her and slapping over her mouth when she almost screams - thinking he’s about to let her fall down the stairs.

He hauls her up and presses her against the wall, his hand still covering her mouth- the other one gripping her hip tightly. Her hands are still twisted into his jacket, her knuckles turning white. She’s crying now, sobbing behind his hand. Fuck, he was enjoying this.

“I’m going to ask you again.” He whispers. “Are you gonna be a good girl and go back downstairs?”

Her eyes are wide, tears hitting his hand as they fall. She nods slowly, trying to ignore the heat growing between her legs. God, she wishes she had met him in a different situation. He was so beautiful. His dark eyes bore into hers before they flickered downwards. He watches her chest heaving, he feels her eyes on his face and he knows she can feel him. His body is pressed against hers, trapping her against the wall, so he knows she can feel his cock hardening against her.

He lets go of her mouth, bringing his hand down to her throat instead. He leans in, his lips inches from hers. She can feel his breath on her lips but she doesn’t dare move. Fuck, she can’t deny that she wants him to kiss her. Would he let her go if she fucked him? She decides to take her chances. She slowly unwraps her hands from the collar of his jackets. She presses her palms against his chest, for a second he thinks she’s going to try to push him away and he prepares himself to grab her wrists. But his breathing hitches as her hands travel down his stomach and pause at the hem of his shirt.

She looks up at him with the most innocent look she can muster, she searches his eyes for any anger or resistance. He’s doing the same to her, his eyes urging her to carry on. She feels his stomach flex as she slowly lets her hands travel underneath the fabric. How long has it been since someone has touched him? It’s been a while since someone has touched her - just his hand around her neck right now is setting her on fucking fire.

His hand tightens around her throat as she unbuckles his belts and dips her hand into his jeans. Feeling him over his underwear first. Stroking him with a feather light touch. He leans in to press his mouth to her jaw, a quiet moan leaves her lips and she swears she can feel his cock twitch.

“Get on with it.” He mumbles against her skin. Trying to resist biting down into her flesh, not wanting the other guys to see any marks. The other guys - who are only around the corner. If any of them were to wake up and look over here they would see them. Fuck, that turned her on. She hates it.

She reaches into his underwear and grips him tightly. “You're not gonna be gentle with me baby?” He hisses beside her ear, she can hear the smirk in his voice, she feels his lips brushing the shell of her ear.

“What do you want me to do?” She whispers, her hand begins to move, jerking him off slowly. He smells like leather and sweat, she whimpers as her clothed tits press against his chest. His nipples are hard and aching.

“Fuck.” He moans into her ear. His hand flexes on her throat before he shocks her by letting go and straightening up. “Get on your knees.”

“Okay.” She mumbles, slowly kneeling down on the dirty floor. The floorboard creaks underneath her and they both freeze for a second. His hands stop in the middle of pushing his jeans down. They both look down the hallway and listen for a second. When they hear nothing- the house is still silent, he continues. Pulling his jeans down just enough to pull his cock out.

Tommy almost feels guilty as she kneels down in front of him. Almost. His cock is so fucking hard and aching that he can’t help himself. He reaches for the back of her head, guiding her mouth towards his length. He can’t help but think about how fucking jealous Joel would be. He’d expressed his attraction to her when they had picked her up, joking about keeping her the group they were waiting for never came.

He almost explodes as she takes his tip into her mouth, swirling her tongue around his slit. Fuck, it really had been a while. But honestly, they didn’t have time for this. Anyone could wake up at any second and all he wanted was to come down her throat. He grasps her hair at the back of her head and pushes her head down until he feels her gag around him. And she lets him. Fuck, she was perfect.

“That’s it, baby. Fuck.” He mumbles through gritted teeth. As she works up a rhythm, sucking him off as best as she can when his hand is still on the back of her head. Applying pressure to stop her from pulling completely away. Tommy is biting his fist to keep himself quiet, his other hand has a painful grip on her hair. He keeps glancing down the hallway, eventually deciding she isn’t being quick enough.

“You’re mouth is amazing, sweetheart.” He whispers as he grasps both sides of her face. He lets her pull away for a second - she knows what he’s about to do. “But, we gotta hurry up.”

He’s already close. His dick hasn’t had anything but his own hand for a long time and the sight of her allowing him to fuck her face has his balls clenching. She has her palms on his thighs, letting him hold her head and thrust in and out of her mouth at his own pace. And his own pace is a rough one. She’s still crying, but now it’s the feeling of his tip hitting the back of her throat that’s producing the tears. Him using her mouth to get off, she swears she’s never been this turned on in her life.

It’s so fucking wrong. This is one of the men who has had her locked in a basement purely for his own gain for the past couple of weeks. But as she looks up at him, his face flushed, his teeth biting down on his lip as he roughly fucks her face in a disgusting basement - she can’t help but hope he keeps her for himself. She thinks about running away with him. She thinks about him taking her away from all this, ditching his brother and their money and taking her out into the world. She thinks about how he looks pointing his gun at her, how he would look pointing it at someone else to protect her.

She moans around him at the thought, her hand coming down and pressing between her own legs - her jeans stopping her from getting herself off. Her hand eventually goes to her breast instead. Between the sight of her desperately trying to touch herself and the way she moaned around his cock, Tommy is done for. He pauses, forcing her as far down his cock as she can go as he comes down her throat. She feels every drop as it hits the back of her mouth. He pulls his cock out of her mouth but is quick to bring his fingers to her chin, forcing her mouth shut.

“Swallow it.” He says. She does as she’s told. He lets go of her chin when he feels her swallow. She practically collapses backwards, sitting in front of him and breathing heavily. He tucks himself back into his jeans before he crouches down in front of her.

“Shhh. You did good, baby.” He whispers. He caresses her cheek. She looks beautiful like this. She swears she can see the change in his face, his eyes soften and he stands up and holds out his hands. She looks from his palms to his face a few times before it clicks, oh. She takes his hands and lets him help her up. The feeling of him holding her hands making her knees feel like buckling again.

“This doesn’t mean I’m gonna let you go.” He says, his grip tightening on her hands.

“I figured.” She nods,her voice slightly hoarse. But suddenly, she feels like she doesn’t want to go. She pulls her hands from his and turns to walk down the stairs. He stops her before he can descend them with a hand on her shoulder. He backs her up against the wall again and she gasps as he slips his hand into her jeans.

“Shit, did sucking me off get you this wet?” He asks, he’s only tracing her pussy through her panties but he can feel the wet spot she’d created. He can feel the heat radiating off of her and he swears he could get hard again.

“I asked you a question.” He says when she whimpers in response.

“Y-yes.” She moans lightly as he traces her clit through the fabric.

“You want me to touch you?”

She bites back a snarky comment of you already are and just nods instead.

“Please, Tommy. Please touch me.” She asks him sweetly.

“Since you were so good for me, i guess you deserve it.” He says. He leans in closer to her face, god - he wants to kiss her. He knows it’s a bad idea but when she leans up to meet him halfway he can’t help himself. Their lips are practically touching, softly brushing against each other - a moan leaving her mouth as he presses harder on her clit, beginning to move his finger in slow, tight circles.

As he’s about to commit and push his tongue into her mouth, some fucker moves in the other room. The sound of shuffling and someone standing to their feet has him ripping his hand out from between her legs. She’s frozen in place for a second, disappointed and shocked. Tommy is picking his gun back up and whispering Go to her and it jumps her into action. She scurries down the stairs as fast as she can, not missing the way he sucks the finger that had been touching her into his mouth.

“You good, Tommy?” A male voice calls down the hall.

“Yeah. Everything is fine.” The other man looks at him standing in the basement doorway and then looks into the darkness of the basement behind him.

“Everything okay with her?” The man asks.

“Yeah.” Tommy answers. “I thought I heard her moving around. But everythings fine. She’s asleep.”

The man nods and asks: “You wanna switch?”

Tommy nods and hands his gun over. He needs a fucking nap after that. He needed to think. He watches as the man approaches the basement door. A weird protectiveness washing over him. Shit, this isn’t good. He can’t afford to have a soft spot for her. He snaps out of it and takes the man's place on the couch. The couch is dusty and creaks underneath him and he sighs. He thinks about how the people who had hired them to collect here were supposed to be arriving tomorrow.

Below him in the basement, she’s thinking about it too. As she lays down to sleep, she hopes that Tommy will save her - hopes that he won’t let it happen. That he will sweep her off of her feet and carry her away. Hours later, she’s still hoping. A few minutes ago she had been awoken by yelling and gunshots. She’d been curled up in the corner ever since. Waiting, listening. The basement door swings open and she squeezes her eyes shut as loud footsteps tumble down towards her. Honestly, maybe this was a better end than whatever the people who had hired her to be captured had in mind.

“Hey! It’s me.” Her eyes shoot open, Tommy is standing above her looking even more disheveled than he did last night. He’s breathing heavily - his words rushed.

“What’s happening?” She asks. Tommy looks back up the stairs before extending his gloved hand to her.

“Get up. We need to go. Right fucking now.”

[sophieinwonderland]

r/FakeDisorderCringe doesn't know what biblical canon is, atheists are offended by saying God is plural, and other people casually throwing out some blasphemies and ableism!

👎

For uncreative title.

Atheists Pretending To Be Deeply Offended...

So, let me guess, you're not actually Christian are you?

Those guys sure aren't.

So weird how people pretend to be offended over a religion they aren't even a part of.

(Let's be real though, that's most of the tulpa discourse.)

Oh... you considered converting.

That clearly gives you a say in this conversation. /s

Meanwhile, my host actually lived the religion. He was Christian through his teenage years, and as a child helped his mom teach Sunday School and went to sleep every night on a Noah's Ark pillow.

Sorry, I distracted from your point. We're thieves stealing from a religion. 🙄

Okay, let's talk "canon!"

I just... I LOVE this whole conversation! 🤣

THIS is actual cringe.

Does anyone see the issue here?

I'll let u/AdSuccessful3533 spell it out. Possibly the only person with sense in the thread.

It's not just Catholic Canon either, but Biblical Canon! Like, there's a whole Wikipedia article on it!

The sheer self-righteous ignorance of r/Fakerdisordercringe (and r/systemscringe) never ceases to amaze me.

All of these people so bent out of shape over the use of "canon" to describe biblical text as if that's not been in use for hundreds of years!

"Something a middle schooler would say."

The Heresies!

That's correct. This is NOT the modalism heresy.

Modalism suggests God is a single unified being who reveals himself in different forms. God being plural would mean that God is three beings in one. This is completely in-line with the views of Trinitarianism.

An example of the modalism heresy would be more like this...

Comparing God to Optimus Prime, arguing that they're just different forms like Optimus Prime in a truck form vs him in a robot form, is modalism.

But if modalism isn't enough, we've got some tritheism too!

Besides the tritheism... it's really hard to take people who are calling tulpas appropriative seriously when they don't even know basic facts about the most popular religion in the world.

Also, the part about System not being a term for a person with DID is technically correct. System is, rather, the term used for the total collection of all the alters. But it is very much a term used by psychologists and it's accurate to refer to the Trinity as a system in this way.

Also, if the Tritheism bothers you, don't worry! We're going to go right back to modalism.

The H2O metaphor is controversial for the same reason as comparing God to Optimus Prime. It suggests God is simply changing form to become these different things.

Miscellaneous

Can you show me that rabbit hole?

I'm the one who Tweeted that, and have NEVER been on the OSDD sub.

Who do you think I am?

No... it definitely doesn't sound right. Religion shouldn't just be a thing for neurotypicals.

If one believes in God, then surely God made all people, including those of us who have mental illnesses. Why should Christianity and biblical references be kept away from people with mental illness other than ableism?

I mean, if by in peace, you mean without endogenic systems, then no. You can't.

We're here and we aren't going away. Ever.

And we exist in all spaces, including in your churches and your religious communities. And Christian systems shouldn't be expected to hide who they are because our existence bothers bigots like you.

We're going to share this world, and we're going to share spaces. And that includes churches and religious spaces too. Deal with it. 🤷‍♀️

Acknowledgements:

I would like to thank everyone at r/fakedisordercringe for giving me the free material. For a subreddit that's designed to laugh at people for supposed "cringe," you all sure are a goldmine for it! 😜

[cupidjyu]

befriend the kitty

juyeon x reader + request by @i95wvo (thank u for requesting :D)

genre: getting together, strangers to friends to lovers, bad boy x good reader trope, tutoring, kissing, fffluff??? gender neutral reader (pretty is used) notes: actually this is like my first time writing a story where the relationship isn't already established TT so i hope its good. also i did make them hangout a few more times before actually getting together since i felt it awkward that they move so fast LMAO and also juyeon is just too nice to be mean i love him word count: 2.3k

“juyeon’s so annoying,” your friend complained as she sat beside you, moving your books aside despite your protests. you had a test next class and you knew that if you didn’t study now, you wouldn’t get the grade you wanted. 

you took your notebook back and flipped to the page you were just reviewing, ignoring your friend’s words.

“did you not hear me?”

“hear what?” you looked up with a bored expression.

“juyeon’s annoying.”

you glanced up and back to the corner of the classroom where he was currently listening to music through his earphones, dozing off with his head in his hand.

you eyed her weirdly, “ why?”

“well he looks peaceful now, but just earlier, i tried to work with him on a project and he was so quiet and looked like he was glaring at me the entire time…”

you turned back, he was looking at you now. you held your breath and quickly turned back around.

“i don’t know,” you mumbled. “maybe that’s just how his eyes are. can you let me study now?”

your friend once again ignored your request.

“do you really think he’s a nice person?” she bit back. “isn’t he the resident bad boy of this school?”

you internally cringed at the nickname.

“uh…”

“y/n.”

“i mean personally, he’s not all that bad.”

“what?” she stared in disbelief.

 -

you knew about juyeon. the thing that you didn’t know was why he constantly put up a tough front when in reality he’s really just a nice person.

it had happened last week. when you were strolling through the library, trying to find that one book that would help in your research project. as you turned the aisle, you ran into juyeon. that tall guy with dark hair seemingly loomed over everyone with a scary aura. you ran straight into him.

“oh,” you breathed out. "sorry."

“y/n?” he spoke.

“hm?” you weren’t surprised that he knew your name despite never talking. you had practically all your classes with him.

“can you do me a favor?”

you blinked. that was new.

“yes?” you said, almost sounding like you were questioning him instead. he pulled up his phone and showed a picture. it was a picture of a book.

“i need help finding this book to borrow,” he spoke in his usual deep voice.

you almost let out a laugh at the book itself. “How to Befriend a Kitty: A Guide” was what it read on the screen.

it seems he must’ve heard your chuckle because he furrowed his eyebrows in slight confusion.

“what’s so funny?”

“first, you can’t befriend a kitty? second, can’t you just search it up?” you laughed.

you could see his cheeks redden slightly. “no, for some reason my cat really hates me,” he explained sheepishly. “and i’ve tried everything, so i thought a traditional book would help…”

“hm, well…” and then you led him throughout the whole library, walking through the various aisles until finally, you found the book. you handed it to him with a smile.

“thank you,” he said. you could spot the smallest smile on his lips.

“no problem.”

it was silent.

“can i get your number?”

your mouth dropped open and your eyes widened.

“m-me?” you stammered out.

“yes, you,” he said bluntly.

you slowly nodded as you handed him your phone. after exchanging numbers, juyeon stated that he had to go. he gave a small wave before walking the other way. you stood there, rooted to the spot as he disappeared. he wasn’t bad at all.

-

juyeon watched the back of your head as you hunched over your books, seeming to be cramming for a test. he could make out the slope of your nose and the way the window glowed against your skin.

he sighed, his eyes softening, a sort-of romantic ballad playing in his ears.

juyeon always liked you, ever since he had laid eyes on you. he’s just never had the courage to ask you out or even approach you until he ran into you at the library.

his eyes shifted down to where his recent mathematics test paper was sitting on the desk. there was the number 50 written on it in bright red pen. or was it a 20? he never was skilled at math anyways. 

he glanced at you again and you were looking back at him too. he could feel his cheeks start to warm as he hurriedly looked away.

and that was when he had the most amazing idea ever.

-

you stared down at the phone. you had just finished a conversation with juyeon and now there was an address on the screen that he had texted you.

you tilted your head slightly as the conversation replayed in your head.

“y/n," you jumped when you heard his deep voice behind you. school had just ended and you were packing up your things to leave.

“juyeon,” you replied quietly. "do you need something?"

“yes.”

he stared with expectant eyes as if to wait for your answer. you giggled.

"what is it then?"

he took a deep breath before spilling it all out, “i need a tutor for math because i failed the test and you seem really good at math so i was wondering if you could come over to my house and teach me some things-”

firstly, it was funny how he had rushed everything into one sentence with a higher-pitched voice as if he was really nervous. second, he wanted you to tutor him?

“uh- juyeon wait- calm down," you stood up and thought for a second. he seemed nice enough and he just wanted a good grade so... "sure, i’ll go but what exactly was your test grade? and why me?”

“a twenty or a fifty. and you seem like the right person,” his voice was back to its monotone deep voice.

“you can’t even read numbers?”

“no- it’s just that the teacher’s handwriting is horrendous. it’s like a doctor’s.”

you laughed. and you stopped. you laughed at juyeon’s joke. you never even knew that juyeon could make jokes.

“when are you free?”

-

and so there you were, standing right at his doorway the next day. you took a deep breath and pressed the doorbell, swaying side to side as you nervously waited for what felt like hours.

until finally, the door swung open, and there he was with a small but visible smile on his face. your eyes widened slightly. you just realized that you’ve never seen juyeon outside of school which meant that you’ve never seen him without the school uniform on. not like he ever wore it properly anyway.

you were wearing a casual outfit. not too lazy, not too special. juyeon’s was casual too, except he looked good in it. it was a simple black t-shirt, yet it fit him incredibly well with his tall height and broad shoulders. you gulped, gripping the math textbook in your hands.

“y/n?”

“yes?”

“i was asking if you wanted anything to drink,” he said as he stepped aside so that you could enter his home. 

“oh!” you shook your head. “no, i’m fine.”

he shrugged as he led you down to where his room was located.

“we can study here,” he calmly spoke. you nodded as you entered and sat down at the desk where there were two chairs located. you were just about to beckon him over when you noticed something small.

a hello kitty plushie propped up on a nearby shelf.

“hey…” your eyes widened. “is that-”

“what?” he hurriedly rushed over and shoved it down in a dark corner of the room. “it was nothing.”

you stared, your mouth wide open in shock. he stared back, his eyes narrowing as if trying to hypnotize you that you saw nothing.

and then you burst out laughing, unable to contain it anymore.

“so, you’re really different than what others think, huh…” you patted the seat next to you and he slowly went to sit almost timidly. “hello kitty, huh?”

“look, it was a gift from my aunt okay?”

“sure,” you laughed. “whatever you say.”

juyeon reached down and pulled out his notebook and a pencil with an embarrassed sigh. 

“and there goes my intimidating act that i keep up in school,” he grumbled, eyeing you.

you smiled.

“there’s no need for it though? why keep it up?”

“people piss me off,” he explained, taking your textbook and flipping to one of the pages. “is it so bad to just want to ignore their annoying, chatty selves?”

you paused. then, you feigned fake hurt across your expression. “so am i annoying to you as well?”

he sputtered, his cheeks turning red, “n-no! not you. you’re very…”

and it looked like he was about to say something but instead, he slammed his pencil down.

“let’s start?” he said hurriedly.

-

juyeon surprisingly (not so surprisingly judging by his sweet personality) was good at studying. he certainly wasn’t good at math, but that’s why you were there. you helped him through every step of the problem until he understood it. everytime he would get the answer right on his own, he would secretly smile to himself proudly. you thought it was endearing.

“y/n.”

you looked up from putting on your jacket since you were about to leave.

“hm?”

juyeon thought for a moment, his hair falling over his eyes. he bit his lip nervously as he fidgeted with his hands.

“do you want to… to go get ice cream after school tomorrow?”

-

“so,” your friend nudged your shoulder as she sat next to you on your bed. “you and the certified bad boy huh?”

“please stop calling him that.”

“you didn’t answer the question!”

you sighed, your cheeks starting to feel warm when you recalled the earlier events of that day. he paid for your ice cream, giggled (giggled!) when you left some vanilla on your lips, and even walked you home while chatting about whatever you wanted. who knew that juyeon had such a sweet side to him? he was confusing you and he made your heartbeat somehow beat faster.

“so what? we’re just new friends that’s all. and i tutor him,” you explained.

“and…?”

“nothing else!”

she giggled, slyly, toying with her hair. “but judging by the way he looks at you…”

you paused and abruptly turned your head to her. 

“what?” you exclaimed.

“nothing, nothing.”

- 

this was now your fifth tutoring session with juyeon. the two of you grew closer and closer, even exchanging smiles in the halls. for some reason though, people haven't noticed your guys’ newfound friendship and still avoided juyeon. but maybe, that’s just his whole intention.

all the tutoring sessions were about math, until this one. this time, he said it was english.

you plopped down next to him on the small couch he had in his room.

“now, it’s english?”

he silently nodded.

“what’s your test score?”

he went to one of the desk drawers and pulled out the paper. right there, on the corner of it was a large 100 and a well done!

you stared blankly at it. then, back up to him. he was smiling shyly.

“juyeon-” you slapped your hand over your own face in disbelief. “why would you ever need me to tutor you on this?”

he pouted cutely, despite his all-black attire. 

“i wanted to spend time with you.”

and that hit your heart like a sharp arrow. your cheeks immediately began to flush as you quickly looked away. this was not what you had expected.

“wh-whatever. you could’ve asked to get ice cream again or something,” you rambled, your heart was beating fast this time.

“but,” he stated clearly and bluntly. “i wanted to give you this.”

and then he reached under the couch and pulled out a bouquet of flowers. it was beautiful, multiple colors and different flowers scattered around. you gasped immediately at the sight of it.

“wh-what is this?” you took it in your hands gently. you could see his hands trembling nervously. "this is for me?"

“well i wanted to confess to you eventually…” he mumbled.

“confess?” you questioned, your eyes widening. 

“y/n, i really like you," he stated, placing a hand on his chest sincerely.

and you almost fainted right then and there.

“huh?”

“i’ve liked you ever since i laid eyes on you,” his eyes were sparkling and his cheeks were tinted pink as well. “and i enjoy my time with you and you make me, this guy who wears all black all the time, feel all fluttery and pink on the inside.”

you stared in utter disbelief. your jaw dropped as you clutched the flowers in your hand. and then you smiled widely, giggling.

“that’s crazy,” you whispered shifting closer. “i seem to like you too, juyeon.”

“really?” his eyes were wide in hope.

“yeah,” you pinched his cheek. “you’re actually really cute despite the whole bad boy thing you’ve got going on. plus, you are really, really, attractive. even when you smile and-”

and your words were interrupted by his lips on yours. you dropped the bouquet to the floor in shock as he brought you closer with his large hands. you gasped but still, melted into the kiss your heart thumping wildly.

when he pulled away he smiled widely.

“i’ve wanted to do that for the longest time.”

“really?” you asked, breathless.

“you’re just so … pretty.”

you were frozen. your cheeks certainly were red now. and then you leaned closer and kissed him again. and again. and again.

and he reciprocated, even bringing you into a warm hug.

meow.

you both jolted away from each other. when you looked down, there was a kitty. juyeon’s kitty, staring up at you both with angry eyes.

“you still didn’t befriend this cutie?”

“i’m working on it...”

[pupkashi]

restless

when you can’t sleep, kakashi is there to help you

a/n: hi friends !! ty for the request ! i hope u all enjoy this for our favorite jonin <3 let me know what u all think and any requests u have :3

wordcount: 706

masterlist

you’d kissed kakashi goodnight about an hour ago, and you’ve tossed and turned that entire hour. a frustrated sigh left your lips, your body growing hot as you scooted away from your boyfriend and out from under the covers.

you planted your feet on the cold floor of your shared apartment, sighing as you got up to get some water. it was quiet, the only sounds coming from the rain hitting the windows. as you downed the cup of water you heard the shuffling of the covers.

kakashi was silent as he rubbed his eyes, leaning on the doorframe as he watched you finish the water. when your eyes landed on him he offered a sleepy smile.

“did i wake you?” your voice was barely above a whisper but kakashi heard you clearly, shaking his head. his silver hair fell over his forehead, covering his eyes a bit.

you sighed, walking over to him and brushing the hair out of his face, his eyes fluttered open to look at you, frowning when he noticed your tired eyes.

“can’t sleep?” his voice was deep and raspy from sleep, you shook your head, frowning as he wrapped his arms around you. your head rested on his shoulder, he placed a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

“let me make you a tea, go wash your face and change into one of my t shirts” he mumbled, already grabbing the teapot. there was no point in arguing with him to get back to bed, he wouldn’t listen.

you changed into the t shirt he wore after he showered, smiling as you fiddled with the hem and the smell of his cologne filled your nose. the noise of the rain relaxed you a bit, sinking further and further into the bed until kakashi placed the cup of warm tea in your hands.

“this used to help me sleep when i had trouble” his voice was gentle, “drink all of it and I’ll read to you” he smiled, you sipped the tea, cringing at how bitter it tasted.

“kashi do i have to finish it all?” you pouted and he only kissed your lips with a smile, “of course you do my love, it’s good for you!”

with a frown you chugged the tea down, the bitterness causing your nose to scrunch up. kakashi handed you a cup of water to help wash the taste down, thanking him as you took it from his hand and handed him the cup of tea.

after he washed the cup he slipped into bed with you, grabbing a book from the bedside table and opening his arms, motioning for you to cuddle next to him. you smiled at him, curling up besides him and laying your head on his chest.

you could hear the beat of his heart, the vibrations in his chest when he spoke. his voice was soft and smooth as he read from the pages. the soft smell of his cologne wafted into your nose and you felt your muscles relax as you melted into your boyfriend.

kakashi continued to read, holding the book in one hand and using the other to rub your back soothingly. as he came to the end of the chapter he looked at you with a fond smile, your breathing had evened out.

kakashi knew how terrible it could be being exhausted and not being able to sleep. he moved a gently as he could, turning the lamp off and setting the book on the nightstand, wrapping his arms around you and keeping you close his chest.

with a satisfied sigh he smiled, his eyes fluttering closed as he focused on your soft breaths and the patter of the rain.

“goodnight my love” his voice was a whisper, not wanting to disturb your peace, not when you’d only just gotten to sleep. soon enough kakashi fell asleep as well, the two of you tangled in each others embrace.

restless nights weren’t too bad now, and you knew you’d never have to deal with the sun rising before you’d gotten a wink of sleep anymore.

not when kakashi would do everything in his power to relax you and make sure you slept a healthy amount.

[blue-jisungs]

xdinary heroes?? I can do that!

kind of chaotic tho cause my braincells are dead.

like a music major! reader x idol! jooyeon ig???

like reader starts rambling about some work thing they have to do and jooyeon offers to help and it turns into like this mess where they compose a song with jooyeon's bass and readers music stuff and it's really chaotic or something. idk.

butterflies (or stomach ache?)

author's note. if u followed me for a while u may know that uhhh i’m no musical genius aha! so sorry if it’s just messy and not making sense at all when it comes to music aspect even tho i tried to google stuff n all! thank u for requesting, i hope you enjoy and sorry you had to wait for so long

warnings. swearing, kinda cringe LMAOOO

jooyeon is playing a game on his phone while you scribble something in your notebook, the quiet hum of your laptop working in the background. he really enjoyed moments like these, at peace and calm from all the chaos he encounters everyday with his members.

he was kind of anxious that your friendship will fall apart when he becomes an idol but you’re still going strong and there aren’t any signs of letting the each one go. “you’re stuck with me forever” as you said one day… which was kind of creepy, now that he thought about it.

“damn it!” you huff and throw the notebook aggressively, causing it to land with a loud slam on the desk. jooyeon, startled, shrieked and looked up at you.

“what is it?” he asked, fixing his posture.

“for the love of–!” you whined when some notes fell out from the notebook. you sighed, collecting them “it’s just… nothing. i have a homework to do, i need to literally write a song and put it all together. i don’t need to sing, someone else can do it but it can’t be a cover. pure new melody, text… ugh, never getting this done!”

“y/n, i’m literally in a band. i can help you” jooyeon blurted up, 100% serious. your gaze shifted towards him and he could swear he heard the gears turning in your head.

“okay, fine. but it’s serious” you sent him a threatening look. he nodded, standing up.

“yes ma’am! let me grab my bass!” he announced and off he went. excitement was rushing through your veins; you never really worked with jooyeon on music projects. he was an excellent singer so even if he just sang some lines, your teacher would be delighted.

jooyeon came back and sat down, grinning.

“let me show you how the professionals do it” he said, resulting in you scoffing.

“sure, whatever you say mr idol” you hummed and scooted closer to him.

“do you have any lyrics? or nothing at all, nada?” your friend asked. weeeell, you had one song written but it was… about a crush. lovey dovey stuff, he would laugh in your face “hello?”

“uh, nope!” you shook your head. besides, you wrote it like year ago. you’d die if you showed it to him. on top of that, you’d die of cringe. which is even worse.

“i’ve known you for a while now and i can literally feel in my bones that you’re lying right now. but okay, let’s work with something new” jooyeon cleared his throat dramatically and opened his notes app.

you sat in silence, looking at him. jooyeon looked at you, blinking slowly.

“this is awkward” he said, laughing. you soon joined him.

“i know, right? like, when put on spot i cannot think of anything!” you whined, wiping your face with your handsome

“hey, don’t whine. well then… we both can’t think of lyrics but maybe let’s create the beat then? do you have anything we can work with?” he asked, tilting his head. you nodded, grabbing your laptop. you had a couple of songs you made while bored so…

“okay, i have this and that but let’s pick the best one. i mean, you pick. which one do you think has the most potential?” you asked and put the laptop in front of him.

you played five songs you’ve made with apps like garage band and other music creating platforms.

“y/n… this… this is really good!” jooyeon said, completely serious “like, for real!”

you smiled shyly, blood rushing to your cheeks. jooyeon picked the one he liked the most and plugged in his bass.

“can it be a cover? i only have weird rhymes in my head right now” he scoffed, scanning your face “i woke up today and ate a banana–“

“what?” you scoffed but he went on with it, patting his foot on the floor

“then i bought a new pyjama~” he hummed, giggling. you scoffed at the ridiculousness of those lyrics

“i thought you’re a professional singer!” smacking his arm, you massaged your temples “oh i’m never getting it done…”

“then i booked a flight to bahamas…” jooyeon ignored you. shaking your head you decided to grab the microphone.

“you know what? just improvise and i’ll add some chorus, the lyrics don’t matter anyway” you mumbled to yourself. jooyeon was playing the bass, the song suddenly getting more and more listenable (minus the sense of lyrics)

after some time passed, the masterpiece was done. gunil came back to the dorm, sitting down next to you.

“oh, oh! judge the song! do you think it has potential?” you asked, scooting closer to jooyeon. your arms brushed against each other as you two stared at gunil in anticipation. he nodded.

“hit me”

you looked at jooyeon, chuckling at hit ‘play’. the song started, chorus similar to some kind of justin bieber’s ‘baby’ ones. you couldn’t stop giggling, resting your forehead against his arm.

the longer the song went, the less serious you were. jooyeon leaned in, bumping his head slightly against yours. his body was shaking because of the laughter.

“yeah yeah, keep the change! i only have two cents…!” (the chorus went ‘two cents, ouuu, he only has two cents’)

it wasn’t even funny. it’s the effect jooyeon had on you. your stomach started to hurt from laughing, gunil looking at you two like you were insane.

suddenly you felt jooyeon’s hand wrapping around your waist, his head hiding in your neck as he tried to calm down his giggles.

and now you weren’t sure if it was truly stomach ache caused by too much laughter or butterflies taking over.

[ masterlist <3 ]

taglist.  @geniejunn ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @starlostseungmin ,, @elviransworld ,, @jnks6r ,, @sieunsgf ,, @ethereallino ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @duolingofanaccount ,, @slytherinshua ,, @stxrseungs ,, @ka-ni-ma ,, @iliveforlixie ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @mark-geolli ,, @l3visbby ,, @w3bqrl ,, @ddeonudepressions ,, @yourfavoritefreakyhan ,, @mirxzii ,, @kazmura ,, @primoppang ,, @nfrgirl ,, @crxzs

[aleximustdr4w]

Mask of Sanity

Available on AO3

Fandoms: Mötley Crüe

Characters: Nikki Sixx

Word count: 2.5k

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Sex, drugs & violence; underage (implied) sex; non-con; exaggerated drug-induced psychosis. Proceed at own risk

Summary: Nikki goes batshit insane. Again. 

A/N: I first started writing this around when I was reading American Psycho, which was like, back in April 2021? It was my first smut ever and it made me cringe with every word I wrote down lol but looking back at it now, I think I didn’t do that bad of a job. For this reason, in fact, I promised myself I would try to finish it, years later. In conclusion, if you can read this you’re very lucky

I wanted to imitate both Ellis and Nikki’s writing style with this, and i used nothing but sheer will, fantasy and a quick skimming of the heroin diaries as my resources (other than American Psycho itself of course), so if its not accurate or you think i could've wrote it in a different way please bear in mind that i will not accept criticism, constructive or otherwise, at this hour. thanks <3

Knock. 

«Comin’» I enunciate from the other side of the room as I sniff up the last line of blow I put down on the bathroom’s counter.

It must be that chick the boys told me they’d send my way once they finished with her. I'm still not sure why I didn't want to join them in the fun... I told them I just wanted to be alone, have some peace and quiet. Yet, I’ve been pacing back and forth my hotel room the whole fucking time like a rabid mongrel in a rusty cage that is too small. I’ve downed maybe five Halcions with half of a JD bottle and a quarter of an eight-ball and it’s only 2 am. My brain feels like it’s running a hundred miles an hour and at the same time the outside world looks like it’s melting in slow motion just before my eyes. I'm starting to hear voices again. To hell with peace and quiet.

Knock knock.

«Ya, ya, I’m coming!» This is annoying. What’s the fucking rush?

I raise my head up taking a deep breath in. I glance at my reflection in the mirror, I try to relax my face muscles in order to not look like a complete lunatic. I exhale and roll my eyes; I give up: I don't think it’s working.

Knock.

Jesus Christ, do you want to get murdered?!

I move across the room with long strides. I feel my whole body jittery, my hands are shaking. I open the door abruptly. 

«Is this… Are you...» The chick looks both surprised and shocked. 

Shiiit, they fucked her up. She can’t stand straight without leaning on the door jamb, her voice is shaking, her makeup and hair is all ruined, her clothes half torn, her skin has been covered in bruises and God knows whose bodily fluids. She doesn’t look the age she wants to pass as.

«Sixx, yes.» I nod, cracking up the best smile that my mental state allows me.

She relaxes and clears her voice. «Tommy told me you were all alone, so… I thought I could pay you a visit» She smiles, raising the bottle of whiskey she had in her hand, trying to be as charming as possible. She gazes me up and down with her big shiny eyes. Rhinestone crystals drowned in alcohol.

I shrug. «I could use some company.» Thanks, T-Bone!

I wasn't planning to have anybody join me in my descent to madness, but something awakened in me as I glanced at this girl’s now ruined innocence. There's something so arousing about her desire to be completely destroyed and be a disappointment to her parents that I can't just back away.

I open the door wider to let her in. I check the hallway to make sure if there’s anybody else. «Are you alone?» I ask. 

«I mean, like, I came here with Vicky but I think she either passed out or choked on Tommy’s cock? I don’t think there’s any point in waiting for her...» she blathers.

«Don’t worry,» I wrap my arm around her shoulders. «You’re gonna do just fine…» 

The door closes behind us.

Cut.

I look at her as she strips in front of me, slowly, sensually, without breaking eye contact. Her movements are clumsy due to her drunkenness, but that’s what adds to her uninhibited charm. 

My vision gets hazy all of a sudden, as I watch her dance in slow motion, probably looking like somewhere between mesmerized and fucking stoned out of my mind. Yet, I feel restless, and I start to feel the instinct to jump onto her like an animal with its prey.

I get up from the bed and pick her up by her bare waist in a swift movement, which made her yelp in surprise. I throw her back on the mattress, rip the rest of the rags off her body and start going down on her, gently pulling her labia apart with two fingers and sucking on her clitoris and licking her juices. The girl bucks up her hips and moans in pleasure. I position myself better on my knees, then I pull her closer to the edge of the bed, grabbing her by the waist and making her spread her legs more. I press my hands down on her thighs, hugging her lap, and I bury my face into her heat. I lap her pussy up and down, groaning like a dog in heat, thrusting my face into it, going from wide licks to tracing small circles around her clit and penetrating her with my tongue, sucking off all her fluids that are pouring out like a delicious fountain of youth. I feel her losing control of her body, thrusting her hips against my face as she moans louder and I go faster, until my jaw hurts and I remain completely breathless.

«Please… please please please keep going!» she begs.

 I raise my gaze to her for a moment. I can hardly make out the silhouette of her biting her own fist. My mind is foggy, I can barely form coherent thoughts. But the whispers… Those are clear. I try to ignore them, concentrating on the task at hand of making her a slave to lust.

I bury my face between her legs once again, penetrating her with my fingers and tongue.

The girl’s moans and whimpers are slowly getting louder and higher in pitch, blending together with the voices in my head. I feel her getting tighter around my fingers, until she squirts all over my face.

«S-Sorry…» She murmured.

I stare at her for a few seconds. I let out a laugh, licking my lips.

I climb over her body. «Ready for round two, baby?» I whisper in her ear.

«Uh-huh…» She nodded.

Suddenly, I am hit with a wave of dizziness. My head is spinning and my fingers are tingling.

As I get up, I am met with a confused gaze.

«What are you…?»

«I’ll be back in a minute. Don’t move.» I winked at her.

I slam the bathroom door behind me, breathing heavily. I am sure I am about to throw up, but that satisfaction of vomiting your guts out never comes. I decide to take a line of zombie dust, so that if I do something awful to the girl, I won’t have the memory to regret it afterwards.

Cut. 

I enter the bedroom, where the girl is still laying in bed. I grab the Jack I left on the bedside table, and take a good swig of it, feeling it burn inside my throat. I hand out the bottle to her, in a “You want some?” gesture. She gladly accepts.

«Have you ever done blow before?» I ask her, as I sit on the bed and she drinks.

The girl shakes her head.

My eyes widen. «Didn’t Tommy share with you?»

«Nope.»

«Well…» I get up, pulling a bag out of my pocket. «You’re in luck, ‘cause I’m feelin’ very generous!» I grinned. I want to ruin you so bad...

She gasped in joy. «You’re the best, Nikki!»

I quickly prepared two lines to sniff, one for each of us.

Cut. 

I’m on top of her, fucking her tight pussy, grunting and panting like a beast. Her hands are all over me, and my back is covered in scratches. My mind is racing at a million thoughts per hour and I can’t grasp a single one of them. All I want in this moment is to fuck her, ruin her, use her, reduce her into a mindless sex toy for my own pleasure. I hear voices that I don’t know what they’re trying to tell me, I see shadows in the corner of my eyes that I don’t know what or who they belong to. Her moans are the only thing that snatch me back to reality, but soon even they become faint and the voices are more insistent.

I pull out.

The girl tosses a disappointed look at me, with languid eyes. «Nikki…» She stretches out her hand, trying to pull me closer. «Why did you stop…?»

With a jump so swift even I got surprised by my own mental alertness at that moment, I grab the girl by the jaw moving closer to her.

«Ask for it. Beg me. Say my name.» I demand grinding my teeth.

She swallows and has fear in her eyes. «Please. Please Nikki, please I beg of you» She lets out in a small voice.

I strengthen the grip, lifting her chin. I let out a beastly breath in her ear: «Not. Enough.»

She stares at me, her eyes wide in terror.

«I SAID NOT ENOUGH!» Nikki punched the girl with brutal force, making her scream in horror. He was breathing heavily, eyeballs out of the sockets in shock. A trickle of blood started running down the girl’s nostril. A drop of translucent fluid dropped on top of it. Nikki brought his hand to his face: it was his saliva. He was drooling like a rabid dog.

Nikki had his grip tight on her neck, and kept hitting her, making the blood flow on her face and her porcelain doll skin break, until her screams stopped. 

Nikki let go of her throat, his breath short from the violent frenzy. He looked down at his trembling hands, the knuckles stained in red, then he looked at the girl. Admiring the bloody mess on her face, Nikki felt his whole body tingling with an undefined sensation: he had a rush of adrenaline, horror and ecstasy all at once, but he wasn’t completely sure if those were the right sensations, the right terms for what he was perceiving. The voices were getting clearer and louder, telling him to do horrible things to her.

Nikki touched himself, to then enter inside her, and began thrusting.

The girl was slowly coming to her senses and as soon as she noticed that Nikki was violating her, she started screaming, kicking and pushing Nikki away with her hands, who promptly blocked her mouth with one hand and pointed his switchblade knife at her throat with the other. «Shh-shh. You wouldn’t want anyone to hear us, trust me…» He whispered, with a smile that hid the devil. 

Her eyes were filled with tears in supplication, her body paralyzed in fear.

Nikki forcefully pushed himself inside her. «You like that, huh?» The whole bed shook. Muffled sounds came out of her mouth. The blade touched her skin at every thrust. «You like being fucked by me until your insides hurt, don’t you?» He rammed once more and there were more suppressed cries.

He stopped for a moment and leaned closer to her: «Answer me.» Nikki breathed, baring his teeth. He pressed the knife against her jugular, cutting her skin. A trickle of blood streamed down her throat and chest.

The girl shook her head. Her whole body was trembling.

«Wrong answer.» He stabbed her in her stomach, making her cry in desperate pain like a wounded fawn.

Nikki traced a bloody line with the blade on her pale skin, stopping at the height of her heart. He could feel her breath accelerating more and more under his knife. He shot a glance at the girl, who had her eyes wide and pleading, with tears running down her cheeks, faint whimpers coming through her covered mouth.

«No one can hear you scream, you stupid slut.»

Nikki raised his armed hand.

The sound of the blade slicing through flesh.

A silent scream.

Blood gushing out of the girl’s breast.

Nikki pulled out the knife from the girl’s chest, and dug inside the wound. With the help of his switchblade, he ripped out her skin like fabric and then her heart, still pulsating, and observed it with fascination; he felt its warmth and weight in his hand and then he licked the blood dripping from the torn arteries. It tasted like death. Then, he dropped it to his knees.

Cut.

I wake up in the bathroom, with a massive headache and generally feeling like shit. I barely remember why I am here in the first place… I try to recall what happened a few hours before, but in vain. I take a glance at the toilet: it’s filled with vomit. Huh. Must’ve been a wild night. Getting up, I notice red stains all over the sink. What the hell…?

Suddenly, my heart is racing, my palms are sweating and I am scared to look at what’s behind the bathroom door, left ajar.

With a deep breath, I gather all the courage I have in my body, and I open the door.

Jesus Christ…

I slowly enter the trashed room, carefully, warily, like if there were landmines all over the pavement. There are red pentagrams and writings all over the walls. A real, human heart is taped at the head of the bed. Then, I see it: the body of a girl, lying lifeless on the mattress.

«What the hell… What the fucking hell!» I scream, recoiling against the wall, horrified at the realization of what I’ve done.

Knock knock knock.

«Sixx, get the fuck up! We have to leave in ten minutes!» Doc’s voice from the other side of the door made me have a fucking heart attack.

«Uh… Yeah, I’m coming, gimme a minute!» I try to sound as relaxed as possible but my heart is pounding in my throat and my voice is quivering. Just then, I realize my hands are still covered in blood. I quickly go to the sink to wash them, but they seem to never come clean. I come back to the bedroom, and I throw the windows open.

I need to get rid of this body.

I wrap the blood-stained bed sheets around the girl, almost throwing up from the anxiety and the smell and the guilt that are all eating me inside out like flesh-eating beetles. I pick the corpse up and bring it to one of the windows.

«I’m so sorry I did this to you.» I whisper, with tears in my eyes and a despaired tremble in my voice.

I throw the body out of the window.

I open the door of my hotel room and I am met with Doc’s stern gaze.

«You look like death. What happened?» He asks, squaring me off.

«Oh, nothing.» My eyes wander somewhere behind his shoulders. «Just a bad trip.»

I don’t think he bought it.

«Whatever, get your ass in the main hall.» Doc steps aside to let me come out of the room. «We have an important interview this morning: behave or I’ll send Fred to kill you.» He looks at me in the eyes, stressing the last words.

«Can’t promise anything.» I mumble.

«Excuse me?»

«I mean… Yessir.»

«Good boy.» He gives me a pat on the back and starts walking.

I follow him, glancing at the room one last time. I take a deep breath, trying to calm down, but I can’t shake off the sensation that someone is watching me behind my back.

[demadogs]

(disclaimer i havent seen or read rwrb) heartstopper is a bit cringe but tbh i love it bc of that… i’ll never love wtvr nick n charlies ship name is the way i love byler but the show itself makes me so happy in a way st (usually) doesnt. maybe thats bc i havent been exposed to enough queer tv so i just love it wherever i see it but as a queer teen in a mega conservative us state it feels so hopeful/joyful esp compared to all the trauma will goes thru in st bc of his queerness (or wtvr various homophobic things happened in young royals i didnt watch the whole thing)

not that i dont love st (my blog is byler themed lol) but thats my unasked-for defense of cringe gay tv/movies. overall i just want MORE queer tv shows whether theyre cringe n saccharine or ultra serious n depressing :) would love to hear ur thoughts if u want to share or u can let this marinate in ur inbox or delete it w/o reading. peace and love !

and im so glad it brings other people joy!! when i say my own opinions that is not me saying the show/movie is objectively bad. i totally see the appeal of a happy gay show like heartstopper, i personally just prefer things that arent lighthearted and romcommy feeling. like my favorite genres are scifi, horror/thriller, and murder. i like deep and dark shit thats not always boiled down just to a ship.

and also i wanna make it clear that when i say “serious tone” that does NOT equate to depressing!!!!!!!! i am NOT saying i dont like happy endings. it just means i want it treated in more of a real way and not romcommy. i dont like the cutsey stuff like the doodles in heartstopper and how they filmed the phone calls in the first bit of rwrb (i know you havent seen it but just trust me). for me personally things like that just completely take me out of the movie like i just want to watch it authentically like it would have happened irl and thats how more dramatic and serious toned shows/movies are always shot.

i also tend to like my gay fiction to be within a much huger story. a good example of this is the show, the wilds. that show is about a severly fucked up social experiment involving 8 girls and a staged plane crash that leaves them stranded on an isolated island and two of the girls end up together. i LOVED how they wrote that. amazing show highly recommend. this is also one of the reasons i love byler. its a part of a much bigger story and its treated seriously while still being cute and beautiful. plus im 10000% sure itll have a happy ending so again, serious in tone does noooot mean depressing.

thanks for being respectful in this ask and not just trying to change my mind or act like im not allowing anybody else to enjoy what i dont enjoy. and i will say since you do love heartstopper, youd probably love rw&rb and i highly recommend it! and if you want a list of more queer fiction recs i can def give you that (but obviously mine will be less lighthearted than heartstopper).