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The Art of Being Seen - a Nancy Landgraab story
୧‿̩͙ ˖︵ ꕀ⠀ ♱⠀ ꕀ ︵˖ ‿̩͙୨
𝔓𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔗𝔴𝔬- 𝔘𝔫𝔦
Prev / Next / Beginning / Pillowfort
Part II - Uni -After a traumatic outing that tears her away from her first love, 19-year-old Nancy Landgraab turns to her faith and her relationship with Geoffrey as a way to cope with her longing for Vanessa. Just as she starts to put up her walls, she meets five women, each teaching her valuable lessons about herself and about life.
Transcript under the cut
Transcript:
Nancy: Heavenly Father, help me to find peace in Your love and wisdom.
Nancy: Grant me the courage to resist temptation and to stay true to my faith. Help me understand Your will for my life and to trust in your plan. Help me...
Nancy Narrates: [For two years, I prayed until my voice grew weak]
Nancy Narrates: [Until my knees bruised from kneeling]
Nancy Narrates: [Until I forgot the color of her eyes]
Nancy: Ok, we can go now.
Geoffrey: How do you feel?
Nancy: Like I’m going to throw up. I hate crowds.
Geoffrey: You’re going to do great, Nancy.
Nancy: Are you a bettin’ man?
Geoffrey: I am now.
Nancy Narrates: [The tenderness I’ve developed for Geoffrey over the years surprised me]
Nancy Narrates: [When he returned from holiday break, I was suffering from a heartbreak I thought would kill me. All he could do was hold me as I mourned]
Nancy Narrates: [In the end, he was all that I had]
Nancy Narrates: [Loving him was the least I could do]
Becca: Hello! Have you accepted Jesus Christ into your heart? No? Think about joining our bible study group! There’s free pizza every Thursday!
Darling: I don’t know shit about this club if I’m being real with you. Coach is making me do it. Something about building your resume, don’t ask me. You joining or what?
Siobhan: A Landgraab on campus? Now that’s a treat.
Becca: [squeals] I know you! I can’t believe it’s really you!
Nancy: I’m sorry? Do I know you?
Becca: I’m Becca! Becca Clarke? I won the Landgraab Foundation Scholarship! You’re the reason I’m even here!! I am freaking out right now! My Nana will not believe this!! [gasps] Would you be interested in joining my bible study group? Of course you would! Is this your boyfriend? Sooo handsome!
Becca: Can I just say, that the Foundation is a true blessing from God. The opportunities you give to people like me is- [sniffles] sorry, I’m getting emotional.
[muffled voices]
Nancy: I- I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I thought you were-
Morgan: It’s cool, I get mistaken for all the other freaky witchy chicks that go here. [smirks] That’s a joke, by the way. I’m the only one. I’m Morgan Fyres. Interested in tarot card reading?
Nancy: Fyres? Is your father the owner of the hotel chains? Dominic Fyres?
Morgan: STEP father, actually.
Siobhan: If you’re looking for real Fyres royalty, then look no further. Siobhan. No need to introduce yourself; I know exactly who you are, Nancy Landgraab.
Morgan: [grumbles] Annnnd cue the cameras.
Siobhan: I’m the president of Theta Omega Pi, the same sorority Queenie Landgraab pledged to. She proudly hangs in our hall of fame, so it would be a privilege to welcome a true legacy into our sisterhood.
Becca: Hey! I found her first!
Morgan: How about you two back off? You’re bringing bad vibes to my stand.
Siobhan: Relax, creature of the night. I was going to discuss Nancy’s future with Theta.
Morgan: Maybe she wants to start tarot reading? This isn’t some business opp, fake Barbie wannabe.
Becca: T-t-tarot!? The devil’s board game!? The Landgraabs are Christians! She wants nothing to do with that, right, Nancy?
Siobhan: [sighs] Find your own Landgraab, Virgin Mary. Grown-ups are talking.
[distant bickering]
Darling: The fuck is a Landgraab?
#The Art of Being Seen#the landgraabs#sims 4#sims 4 stories#ts4 simblr#sims 4 simblr#siobhan fyres#morgan fyres#darling walsh#becca clarke#side note- I don't think it was stated that Siobhan and Morgan are step sisters but I felt it made sense that they were
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lights, camera, bitch, smile!
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ now playing: taylor swift - "i can do it with a broken heart"
summary: it's your first time headlining the biggest music festival in the country, and your guitarist is nowhere to be found. good thing your other headliner-- and billboard chart rival-- can play guitar, right? right? (rockstar!gojo x popstar!reader)
wc: 2.73k
cw/tags: implied fem!reader but gn pronouns used, rivals to lovers, he falls first, mild angst (descriptions of a panic attack)/fluff with happy ending
note: this is another fic as a part of @ficsforgaza and a gift for @um-no-ok for donating and supporting palestinian families! interested in being a part of this initiative? check out my masterpost ! hope you enjoy this, i had a lot of fun writing it :)
likes, reblogs, and replies are appreciated!
“You’re sure the flight is still running late?” You plead, head in your hands as the tech lead, your publicist, and your manager sit apologetically on the other sofa in your trailer. “We can’t send out a car to go grab them from the airport as soon as they land?”
“Getting off festival grounds will be hard enough, not to mention battling the traffic of incoming guests,” the tech guy reminds you with a shake of his head, exhaling deeply as his radio crackles, another warning that you need to be on stage to sound check. In a matter of hours, you would be headlining the biggest music festival in the country, and both your guitarists were stranded hundreds of miles away. They should have known better than to take a gig right before the festival, but you let them do it anyway because it was only a 30 minute flight between the airports. But, after a stray bird flock nearly downed another passenger plane, the tarmac was backed up for the time being. “Can you try asking around to see if someone can fill in for them?”
“And maybe hire them instead,” your publicist mutters under her breath, seething. You shoot her a wry smile, absentmindedly fidgeting with the plug of your in-ear monitors.
“The band is out trying to find guitarists, but it’ll be hard to ask someone to fill in because of scheduling issues and the number of stages there are this year.” Your manager takes a peek at her watch and looks at you with regret. “You need to go soundcheck, guitarists or not.”
“We have a drummer, a bassist, two keyboardists, and a vocalist. You’re gonna make them go out there with a jazz band and expect them to sing the biggest pop songs on the planet?” Your publicist, bless her heart, voices what you’d been dreading since you got the call from your lead guitarist. It was the biggest test to your professionalism since your career took off and you silently wished you’d paid attention to those tour bus guitar lessons. “How bad would it be to push back the set, even thirty minutes?”
“Bad, very bad. There’ve already been more delays than anticipated that aren’t music related,” the tech lead replies with a grimace. Your publicist curses under her breath and gives you a look telling you to get on stage. “And, it’s too late to fly in guitar tracks, even if we had them.” Shit. You’d just have to trust your team to figure something out, you figure, grabbing your sunglasses from the coffee table and exiting the trailer.
The rest of your band is already plugged in by the time the golf cart drives you to the main stage where you’d be performing. The ruthless summer sun competed with barely any clouds, blazing anything in its sight and leaving you breaking a sweat, even in the shade. A stage hand slips a wireless pack onto the waistband of your shorts and the click of the volume knob brings you the dweedling sounds of your band. The audience lot is relatively empty, thankfully, save for a few brave souls who were taking care of sound. Steeling your nerves, you shoot the audio tent a thumbs up, pop in your in-ears, and wait for the click track to run.
CLICK! 2-3-4. CLICK! 2-3-4. Intro, 2-3-4. 1…2…1-2-3 and–
The synth intro of your walkout song rings concerningly quiet in your ears and you tap your in-ears a few times, signaling the sound tent with a thumbs-up until the rest of the keyboards are audible. Not a great start to sound check, but that’s what this time was for, right?
CLICK! 2-3-4. CLICK! 2-3-4. Drums and bass in. 1…2…1-2-3 and–
Nothing.
The click continues its monotonous beat and you vaguely make out bass at the bottom of your mix, but you and your drummer look at each other with the same confused expression. She taps her ears, shaking her head.
“W-Wait, wait, wait. Can we stop, please?” You speak your request into your mic, disheartened to not hear your own voice in your mix. The synths stop abruptly, as does bass, and a dozen tech people rush onstage to fix various audio problems. “This is a nightmare,” you mutter, wiping the beads of sweat accumulated on your forehead.
“It’s always mix issues, isn’t it?” As if your irritation couldn’t increase, your eye twitches on its own when you register the voice of the person standing at the bottom of the stage. All shining white hair and dark, round rimmed sunglasses, Gojo Satoru was the last person you wanted to be interacting with. To say he looked good would be an understatement and your eyes look for any place to focus on other than his chest under his unbuttoned shirt. “For what it’s worth, you sound pretty on the mic.”
“What do you want?” Your voice is tired already, as is your entire body. Figuring out who would replace both your guitarists had sapped your energy and doors weren’t even open yet. “I don’t have the time nor the energy to debate with you today–”
“Heard you were looking for guitarists,” he cuts in and you narrow your eyes. The last thing you needed was your Billboard chart rival mocking you and your current situation. “Oh, c’mon. Don’t look at me like that. You and I both know you’re in a less-than-ideal spot right now.”
“Choose your next words very wisely, Gojo,” you seethe, using every ounce of your willpower to remain civil. “If you’re here to tease me, I don’t wanna fucking hear it.”
“I wanna help you,” he says before you’ve stalked out of earshot. “I can fill in for your lead and Suguru can play rhythm. I’ve already talked to him about it and he’s down. We’ve got the chords alright, but if anything funky happens, we’ll just follow your bassist. We’re pros for a reason, aren’t we?”
“I don’t need your help, Gojo,” you lie, desperately looking around for anything to get you out of this conversation.
“Thought I told you to call me Satoru when we were at that awards show.” His voice was always velvet smooth, disarmingly charming, and you hated the way it drew you in like a moth to a candle.
“I don’t remember that; and, if you did, I still don’t care.” We’re back on, says a voice through your ears. Starting the click on your cue, lead.
“Seems like you don’t remember a lot about what happened that night. I wouldn’t mind recounting it for you since it seemed like you had so much fun,” he baits coolly and you fall for it, storming back to the front of the stage and looking him square in his pretty face. Memory remnants of dancing in colorful strobe lights and running your hands through his hair appear in your mind’s eye before you can stop them, and it must register on your face. “Ah, so maybe you do remember what happened if you’re this angry about it.”
“We’re rivals, Gojo,” you hiss, your vision close to going scarlet. “We’re not supposed to be buddy-buddy, and what happened at that afterparty was a slip of my better judgment.”
“We’re not supposed to be, or you’re scared to be?” His question hangs in the air and you have no choice but to glare at him, waiting for him to back down when you know he never will. After a long pause, he sighs, raking his fingers through his hair. “Look, I know you’re in need of guitarists and I just wanna help. Consider it a favor.”
“Favors need to be paid back,” you counter skeptically, “and you’re the last person I want to owe.”
“Not my kind of favors,” he says, more genuinely than you’re used to him being. “Just…think about it, yeah?” You don’t have time to dwell on why he was being so nice to you, though, as you give the audio tent a thumbs-up again. CLICK! 2-3-4. CLICK! 2-3-4. Intro, 2-3-4. 1…2…1-2-3 and–
By the time you’ve suffered through soundcheck, changed into your stage outfit, and inhaled more setting spray than should be considered healthy, the sun has become a laser. Gojo is nowhere to be found, thankfully, and you spend the rest of the time before your set pacing your trailer like a caged animal. There wasn’t any room in your mind to think about the crowd, the heat, or the extensive team counting on you to make it a worthwhile show. All that you could focus on was your lack of guitarists and the proposition from your #1 enemy in the music industry. Before you could cross from the kitchen tile to the living area carpet for the umpteenth time, the door threw itself open to reveal your breathless manager.
“We found guitarists! Let’s go, before they change their mind,” she commands. You thank the music festival gods for whomever she found, even happier knowing that it couldn’t be Gojo and Geto because their band had just finished on the other largest stage. “You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be,” you answer uneasily, still reeling from switching panic-mode into show-mode within minutes. “Let’s just hope they’re good.”
This next artist needs no introduction…
The golf cart parks sidestage.
Dominating the pop charts for twelve straight weeks, taking the industry by storm…
You wink at the handful of screaming fans that spot you before ducking backstage.
And nominated for the most prestigious awards in the music world…
The stagehand slips the pack onto the waistband of your pants and hands you a mic.
Performing live and streaming around the world… [CLICK! 2-3-4. CLICK! 2-3-4. Intro, 2-3-4. 1…2…1-2-3 and–] Make some noise for–
“Yo, Satoru. You got an extra pick?” Your synths come in at the same time you whirl around, heart dropping into your stomach when you see the two guitarists behind you. You recognize Geto with his signature black hair tied up in a bun and catching rays of sunlight reflecting off the turtle shell body of his electric guitar. The limited interactions you had with Geto were pleasant, but the same couldn’t be said about the other musician fishing a pick from his leather pants. “Thanks,” Geto says as he sticks the spare in his pocket, clocking your shocked expression and giving you an apologetic shrug. “Sorry we’re a little late, the set ran a little long because this dumbass wanted to do another encore. I made the golf cart guy race over here, though.” He motions in the direction of your temporary lead guitarist, who unsuccessfully tries to clean his sunglasses with his fishnet shirt. “Oi, hotshot. Get ready, we’re on soon.” CLICK! 2-3-4. CLICK! 2-3-4. Drums and bass in. 1…2…1-2-3 and–
“They’re smudged,” Gojo pouts and you act without thinking, snatching the glasses from his hands, wiping it on your own costume, and handing it back to him without meeting his gaze. “Oh. Thank you,” he mumbles, sticking them on his face and trying to catch your eye. There were too many things happening at once for you to worry about him.
“Mhmm. Thanks for filling in,” you choke out with no trace of malice, the pressure in your forehead and chest becoming suffocating. The gravity of your performance crashes down on you in one disorienting wave and you blink in an attempt to clear the sudden blurry spots in your vision. Hundreds of thousands of eyes, waiting on you, watching you, worshiping you. The biggest performance of your career thus far, and you were going onstage prepared with nothing but a terrible soundcheck and two rock stars that probably didn’t give a shit about pop music. It was too much, it was all too much–
“Hey.” It’s him, breaking through the static as the click fades into the background, any panic replaced by the feeling of your biggest rival lightly touching the side of your face. He wipes a stray bead of sweat from your forehead, and you’re close enough to see every shimmering fleck of turquoise in his eyes. The crowd noise is staggering, but all he sees is you. “You look beautiful.”
“Satoru,” you whisper, barely able to verbalize your panic. He understands anyway, confidence radiating from his body.
“I’m with you. I’ve gotcha,” he reassures you, letting you mirror him as he takes a deep breath. “You trust me?” CLICK! 2-3-4. CLICK! 2-3-4. Guitars in, vocals enter. 1…2…1-2-3 and–
“I-I do.”
“Great.” His grin is dazzling, heart-stopping. All of him, he’s yours. “Let’s have some fun, then.”
—
You sleepily blink open an eye as you register the ringtone for your publicist playing on the nightstand. Outstretching a tired arm, you find it a little hard to move with the other occupant of the bed securing you against his chest. You mutter Satoru’s name, unsure if he’s awake yet; he grunts with his eyes still closed and you figure it’s unconscious, the way his muscles tighten around your waist to pull you closer. You groan as the phone screen blinks off, then on again with another insistent call.
“Satoru, you need to let me go.”
“I already did that once,” he mumbles into the pillowcase, “and I’m not making that mistake again.”
“I need to pick up the phone, baby. It’s my publicist,” you counter gently and it’s his turn to groan, reluctantly peeling away to rub his eyes. “Thank you,” you say sweetly, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before answering the phone.
There you are. Good morning, Sleeping Beauty, says your publicist, her incredulity obvious.
“Mhmm, good morning to you too. Everything okay?” You squint against the morning sun breaking through the windows of Satoru’s loft, the city skyline casting rainbows on the walls.
Everything’s great, just wanted to let you know what’s been happening media-wise.
“They figure out where we are yet?”
Not yet, no. But, you know how these things go. They’ll find you eventually, so savor the time you have with him now. Right now, you have a lot of late-night outlets asking for interviews and a few charity ball performances lined up. It’s all stuff you can handle, don’t worry. Aside from the scheduling talk, her warnings were things you already knew. It was weeks before social media users finally settled down after Satoru and Suguru joined you on stage. Satoru had even convinced you to create a burner account so you could scroll through all the edits and fancams of you two. Now that you’d reconciled your feelings about Satoru and agreed to let you two make up for all the time you lost to your stubbornness, it was relatively peaceful. On another note, I did see a pretty cute reel counting all the times he looked at you during your festival set.
“Yeah? And how many times was it?”
More than you looked at him, which is saying something, she chuckles. I’m still reeling from how chaotic the crowd was when those two walked out with you. You’d think there was a fire breaking out, or something.
“They were pretty loud, weren’t they?” You smile softly at the memory of strutting out in your boots with Satoru and Suguru on either side of you. “I think they went crazier when Satoru started soloing, though.”
“I’m not called the best for nothing, sweetheart,” he murmurs from behind you with a smirk. “These hands are worth millions, and you get them for free–”
“Okay, that’s enough from you,” you cut in before he says anything more. “Please, ignore him.”
What’d he say?
“Nothing important.” Your cheeks heat and you shoot him a look over your shoulder, only to be met by a self-satisfied wink that makes your heart race.
I’ll take your word for it. What’s your plans for today?
“Breakfast, probably, and then maybe head down to the shopping district.”
That’s pretty public, no?
“I don’t mind. I’m ready for whatever they throw at us,” you shrug, honestly feeling like you couldn’t care less about being seen with Satoru. You look over at him again and find boyish, giddy excitement written all over his face. He was yours and you were his, mind, body, and soul. Let the cameras come, let the tabloids rave, let the fake fans criticize, you think to yourself.
As long as you two were together, you were untouchable.
if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)
#fics for gaza#gojo x you#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#satoru x you#satoru x reader#satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x y/n#gojo fluff#gojo angst#rockstar!gojo au
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Channelled Messages II 💌
Channelling messages from your: Future Spouse's guides, your shadow self, your parents.
Note: Have fun!! And please reblog and send feedback (if you want) it helps a ton, have a lovely day everyone. Reblogging and paid readings help a lot! Pls DM me if you want one!
Masterlist! || Book a reading! || Tip 🫙!
Future Spouse's Guides
Your Shadow Self
Your Parents
- ✪✪✪ -
💌 Pile 1
My Dearest,
As the spirit guide of your future spouse, I am honored to offer you guidance and wisdom that transcends the boundaries of time and space. Though my role is to support your beloved from the spiritual realm, I am deeply invested in your happiness and well-being, for your future union is a testament to the profound love and connection you share. In this letter, I aim to provide you with advice that is both general yet specific, touching upon various aspects of life, not solely confined to matters of love.
First and foremost, let us discuss the significance of self-discovery. Throughout your life's journey, you will encounter a myriad of experiences, challenges, and joys. It is crucial to embrace these moments as opportunities for growth and self-understanding. As you become more attuned to your own needs, desires, and values, you will naturally radiate a sense of authenticity and confidence that will enrich your relationship.
Never forget the importance of compromise. In every relationship, there will be differences in opinions, preferences, and priorities. Approach these disagreements with a willingness to find common ground, and remember that sometimes, the act of yielding can be a powerful testament to your love.
Remember to nurture the small moments of joy and spontaneity. Life often unfolds in the ordinary, and it is within these seemingly simple moments that the deepest connections are forged. Cherish the laughter, the shared meals, and the quiet evenings together.
The universe is conspiring to bring you together with your beloved, and your spirit guides, myself included, watch over you with love and care. Embrace the lessons and blessings that come your way, and may your love story be a timeless testament to the power of love.
They are waiting for you, your souls are meant to meld and they will very soon, till then please take care of yourself <3.
With love 🩵
💌 Pile 2
Hello love,
Beginning with, let me assure you that your path is illuminated by the radiant light of potential and destiny. The future holds both challenges and triumphs, and it is essential to approach them with an open heart and a resilient spirit. Remember, life is a beautiful tapestry woven from both joy and sorrow, and every thread contributes to your unique and intricate story.
One of the most important pieces of advice I can offer is to embrace the ever-changing nature of existence. Life is a series of cycles, and like the seasons, it brings moments of both abundance and scarcity. In times of abundance, cherish the blessings bestowed upon you, but do not become complacent. Use your good fortune to uplift others and to grow as an individual. And in times of scarcity, hold steadfast to your inner strength, for they are the crucibles in which your character is forged.
In the pursuit of your dreams and aspirations, I urge you to cultivate patience and perseverance. Life's most significant accomplishments often require time and effort. Do not be discouraged by setbacks, for they are the stepping stones to your ultimate success. Your journey may be arduous at times, but your future spouse's spirit guide assures you that every challenge you face is an opportunity for growth. As you journey through life, you will encounter love in its many forms.
Some loves will be fleeting, like shooting stars in the night sky, while others will be enduring and steadfast like the North Star. It is important to discern between the two, for not all who enter your life are meant to stay, and not all who depart are lost.
Your relationship with yourself is the foundation upon which all other connections are built. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, and remember that self-love is not a selfish act, but a necessary one. When you love and respect yourself, you radiate positivity, attracting love and respect from others.
Waiting for you~
💌 Pile 3
Hi sweetheart!
In the years to come, you will encounter crossroads and diverging paths. The choices you make at these junctures will shape your professional destiny. Remember, dear one, that it is not always about the most lucrative or prestigious option, but rather the one that aligns with your passions and values. Seek out work that resonates with your soul, for a fulfilling career is one that brings joy and a sense of purpose.
Let me reassure you that the path you're on is destined for greatness. While life can be a rollercoaster, remember that even the steepest drops can lead to thrilling highs. So, don't be afraid to embrace the twists and turns that come your way. They're all part of the grand adventure. Now, let's talk about your career.
Picture it like a delicious buffet (and who doesn't love a good buffet, right?). You've got a wide array of options laid out before you. Some might look tempting, while others might leave you scratching your head. My advice? Try a bit of everything! Just like at the buffet, you won't know what your absolute favorite is until you've sampled a little bit of everything.
Don't feel pressured to settle for the first dish that comes your way. Explore different career opportunities, experiment with various roles, and indulge in your passions. If you're passionate about something, even if it seems unconventional, go for it
Remember, your future is a canvas, and your career is the vibrant palette you use to paint your masterpiece. Oh, and remember to strike a balance between work and play. Life isn't all about the hustle and grind.
Take time to savor the sweet moments, laugh with friends, and cherish the love of your future spouse. They'll be your biggest cheerleader on this journey, and together, you'll conquer any challenge that comes your way.
Take care love!
- ✪✪✪ -
💌 Pile 1
I see you often doubting your abilities and second-guessing your decisions. When you're faced with challenges or new opportunities, you tend to retreat into your comfort zone to avoid the discomfort of failure or rejection.
My advice to you is this: Embrace the discomfort. Step outside of your comfort zone intentionally, even when it scares you. It's in those moments of vulnerability that you can truly learn and grow. Remember, making mistakes is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of courage and the path to improvement.
When faced with challenges, don't shy away. Confront them head-on, for it is through adversity that you discover your true strength. Embrace your flaws and imperfections, for they are what make you uniquely you. They hold the seeds of your growth and evolution.
Do not suppress your emotions; they are your compass. Feel them deeply, both the joy and the pain. They offer valuable insights into your desires, fears, and aspirations. Learn from them and allow them to guide your decisions.
Embrace your darkness, for it holds the potential for profound transformation. It is not something to be feared, but a wellspring of untapped creativity and power.
Remember, you are a mosaic of light and shadow, embrace both.
💌 Pile 2
When you hear that inner voice saying, "I can't do it" or "I'm not good enough," that's me. My advice is to confront those thoughts head-on.
First and foremost, remember that your thoughts are not necessarily facts. They are products of your perception and past experiences. Start by analyzing the evidence for and against these self-doubts. Ask yourself, "What proof do I have that I can't do it?" You might be surprised to find that many of your fears are based on assumptions rather than concrete evidence.
Furthermore, consider reframing your self-talk. Instead of saying, "I can't," try saying, "I can, but it might be challenging," or "I can, with effort and practice." This shift in perspective can empower you to approach tasks with a growth mindset, recognizing that even failures and setbacks are opportunities for learning and improvement.
Embrace challenges as opportunities to prove me wrong. Remember that growth often occurs outside your comfort zone. Taking calculated risks, setting ambitious goals, and pushing your boundaries are all ways to demonstrate your capabilities. Each small victory, each obstacle overcome, is a testament to your potential.
Seeking support and encouragement from others is not wrong or bad. Share your aspirations and fears with trusted friends, mentors, or therapists. They can provide valuable perspectives, guidance, and motivation during your journey of self-discovery and personal growth.
Analyse your doubts, reframe your self-talk, embrace challenges, and seek support. By doing so, you can prove your shadow self wrong and unlock your full potential.
💌 Pile 3
When haunting memories of past mistakes and regrets resurface, don't let them consume you. Rather than dwelling on the pain of the past, reflect on what each experience has taught you. Every misstep and error holds within its valuable lessons. Reflect on what you've learned from these experiences, for they have shaped you into the person you are today.
Forgiveness, both of yourself and others, can be liberating. It allows you to release the emotional burdens that may be holding you back and opens the door to personal growth and healing.
Finally, those impulses and desires that occasionally surge within you are not to be ignored or suppressed. Instead, explore their origins and motivations. Sometimes, these desires reveal untapped passions and dreams that are yearning for your attention. By embracing and understanding them, you can find ways to channel them positively, enriching your life in unexpected ways.
I am here to challenge you to become a more authentic and whole version of yourself. They are not reckless impulses but signposts pointing to unfulfilled potential.
By acknowledging and channeling these desires constructively, you can embark on a transformative journey toward a more fulfilling and authentic life.
- ✪✪✪ -
💌 Pile 1
You've been positively shining lately, and we couldn't be prouder.
It's like watching a shooting star streak across the sky – you're constantly surprising us with your brilliance and leaving us in awe. From acing your exams to that recent project you tackled with gusto, you're proving to the world that you're a force to be reckoned with.
But you know what we love even more than your accomplishments? It's your zest for life and the twinkle in your eye as you chase your dreams. Remember, life is not just about reaching destinations; it's about enjoying every twist and turn of the journey.
So, keep reaching for the stars, our little superstar! We have no doubt that you'll continue to amaze us and everyone around you. Just promise us one thing – never lose that playful spirit and infectious enthusiasm that makes you who you are.
We love you more than words can express, and we can't wait to see where your next adventure takes you. Congratulations, and keep on. You're not just making us proud; you're making the whole family proud!
💌 Pile 2
We hope this letter finds you well and wrapped in the warmth of our love, even if from afar. There are words we've been carrying in our hearts, words that need to find their way to you.
We want to tell you how very sorry we are for any moments of pain, frustration, or disappointment we may have caused you in the course of your life. As parents, we've made mistakes, stumbled along the way, and at times, failed to truly understand your perspective.
We want you to know that our love for you is immeasurable, and it is in the shadow of that love that we can identify and acknowledge our shortcomings. We recognize that there were moments when we should have listened more, when we should have supported your dreams more enthusiastically, and when we should have been a more constant presence in your life.
Please understand that our actions were never intended to cause you harm. We were navigating the complexities of parenthood the best we knew how, often learning as we went along. Sometimes, our fears and insecurities clouded our judgment, and for that, we are deeply sorry.
Our love for you, though, has always been unwavering, a beacon of hope and pride. Watching you grow, accomplish, and become the remarkable person you are today fills us with indescribable joy. Your kindness, intelligence, and strength are a testament to your character, and we couldn't be prouder.
We hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us for any past missteps. Our wish is that we can move forward with a renewed sense of understanding, compassion, and love between us.
We're here to support you in all your endeavors, to listen when you need an ear, and to be the parents you truly deserve. With a love that will never die,
🩷
💌 Pile 3
You are a cherished part of our lives, and nothing will ever change that. We wanted to share some feelings with you because we believe in open and honest communication. Recently, there have been moments when we felt a slight sense of disappointment in some of your choices and actions.
Please understand that this disappointment does not diminish our love for you, nor does it define our overall view of you as a person. We apologize for feeling this way, as we recognize that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Our expectations might have been too high, and we realize that it's important for us to accept you as you are, with your unique strengths and flaws.
Our intention in sharing this is not to make you feel guilty or burdened but to foster understanding and growth within our family. We believe that through open conversations and support, we can work through these feelings together. We hope that you can forgive us for any undue pressure we may have unintentionally placed on you.
Remember, our love for you is boundless and unconditional, and we are here to help and support you as you navigate life's challenges. Let's move forward together, learning from our experiences, and growing as individuals and as a family.
- ✪✪✪ -
#pick a card reading#pac#daily tarot#tarot reading#tarot readings#tarotcommunity#tarot cards#tarotblr#tarot#intuitive#intuition#intuitive readings#pick a card#pick a pile#tarot witch#tarot deck#psychic
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i. so i’ve heard love is pain. love is a sickly sweet poison seeping through your skin with a lover’s touch, running through your blood and filling you with the rush of being alive, before it kills you with one swift blow.
ii. and they told me that to love, you must burn. set an agonising fire coursing through your veins and watch as the world around you is ablaze. but we chose to keep the ashes for another time, and now the love i find in you, is the warmest embrace.
iii. i was taught so many lessons about love but they never told me this: love will hold your hand as you stumble and pick you back up even when you fall. love will put out fires in places where your heart burns and set ablaze the corners that have always been dark. love will be the lesson you want it to be, the miracle you want it to be, and the blessing you always prayed, no, begged for. love will be everything, as long as you find a way to give a little bit of it to yourself first
// this started as one, ended as another (open to title suggestions!)
#writing#writers on tumblr#excerpt from a book i'll never write#poetry#prose#reading#poets corner#quotes#writers and poets#ramblings#writeblr#literature#new poets society#poemsociety#poets on tumblr#poetsandwriters#fiction#original poem#poeticstories#writersociety#love
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Love's Remedy ༓ jjk (m) l Ch. III
✑ Summary: Jungkook is a romantic. He comes from a highly intelligent family who wants him to carry out the lineage. Being this way, he goes to college to be a pharmacist but his friends say college isn't just about studying! With a little persuasion, he goes to his first frat party thinking his hat will help him pick up a girl-or woman he means.
Pairing: STEM major!virgin!jungkook x STEM major!hot girl!reader
AU/genre: angst, smut, fluff, s2l, college au, mini-series
Rating: M, 18+
Word Count: 4,378
Warnings: jk is very determined to "win" oc, jk a romantic, oc has philophobia (fear of relationships), protective!koo again, oc is an engineering student, PC Bang, jk is a king at LOL (League of Legends), jk lowkey flirts with new person, oc gets cold feet but please don't blame her 🥹, jk and oc get on level ground after hashing things through, themes of stalker-ish behavior (not oc or jk!), feat Jackson and Jae-beom, if i missed warning lmk!
Now Playing: seven, summertime sadness, she’s kerosene, angels like you+
A/N: For reference a PC Bang is: "a type of LAN gaming center and Internet cafe in South Korea, where patrons can play multiplayer computer games for an hourly fee". Also, I am not a gaming guru but I try for this chapter that means I researched haha Enjoy! 💞
<< ch. II ༓ ch. IV >> | series masterlist
A week later, Jungkook waits for you at your agreed rendezvous point; for over an hour. You promised to meet him near the campus garden at 7 pm but here it is almost 8 pm and you're a no-show.
He checks his phone for the fourteenth time since arriving–no reply.
Jungkook tries not to jump to conclusions but you broke your word and you ghosted him.
He thinks back to last week when he'd stepped between you and Jun-ho. And when you followed him back to his dorm where he told you he could love and take care of you, as you helped patch his wound. Had he come on too strong? Did you get into more trouble that he didn't know about?
He kicks a few pebbles by his feet, sending them flying in every which way, as the number of endless possibilities rattles his brain.
"Stupid," he cusses himself. "You're just so fucking stupid."
How could he believe that after two short weeks of random run-ins with you that he'd earn your interest? You told him you don't do relationships yet he still shows up, anxiously presenting himself as your knight in shining armor. Any sane person would tell him he was barking up a dead tree.
"Might as well get a head start on next week's homework." Jungkook loses hope, trotting back to the dormitory with the wind howling and mocking behind him.
"What do you mean she ditched you?" The boisterous inquisition belongs to Jackson who's looking thoroughly offended once hearing his new best friend was shown up. He isn't sure how much this woman meant to him, but either way, it makes him livid. Even if you weren't going to go out with him, you should've at least told him like a decent human being.
"I really thought she'd come," Jungkook replies with his heavy eyes. He walks alongside the blonde-haired boy, dirt crunching below his feet. "Guess she had something better to do."
"No." Jackson stops in the middle of the road. "You know who actually has better things to do? It's you. What do you say to hitting up the PC Bang downtown? Play a little League of Legends or Overwatch?"
Jungkook shrugs with less enthusiasm than a snail. "Sure…"
"Hey man," Jackson puts a hand on Jungkook's shoulder. "I'm sorry about you and __. It sucks being stood up. I've had my fair share and you just gotta take it as a blessing that nothing else happened between you both. Nine times out of ten, it didn't have anything to do with you either so don't blame yourself. Take it as a lesson and keep working on yourself until the right person shows up. They'll be the person you can truly give yourself to."
"Hard to believe you've been shown up. You're charismatic, confident, in good shape, have good facial features, and you're getting your MD." Jungkook's aware of his friend's attempt to lift his spirits but he can't fathom anyone not giving Jackson the time of day. Due looks like a pop star in the making.
"Nah, most of what you just said is me bullshitting my way through life. I'm not all that," Jackson rejects, striding forward. "I got rejected by a girl a few days ago myself."
"Had a boyfriend?"
"Nope, just didn't like me. And she doesn't go out with first -years apparently."
"Oh," Jungkook's eyebrows shoot up. "She was an upperclassman?"
"Yup, on her third year."
At this Jungkook's mouth gapes open. "No wonder she said no. What the hell are you doing trying to go out with a third-year?” The accusatory tone spins Jackson's head–he's a sad little puppy with you but a bulldog with him. What a puzzling fellow.
"Same thing you're doing trying to convince someone who doesn't want a relationship to go out with you."
Jungkook dials back his previous assertion. "We're idiots."
"Correction. we're dreamers." Jackson slaps him on the shoulder. "C'mon, let's go burn some shit up at the internet cafe."
By the time he and Jackson get to the cafe nearly all the computers are taken. It's no surprise since PC Bang's are quite a rave amongst university students like themselves. You can play the hottest games for hours while stuffing yourself full with whatever food's served on the cafe menu–all for a small fee of course.
"Let's go here." Jackson manages to grab two free id cards from the counter–guiding them to two empty PCs, side by side to each other. "How long do you want to play for?"
Jungkook sinks himself in the leather gaming chair and powers on the machine in front of him. "I'm good until 6 pm, but then I should head back to my dorm and do homework."
"Cool, same for me. We'll play for three hours then."
"What should we play?" Jungkook tosses the headset over his ears and scrolls through the game options. Jackson does the same.
"Kinda in the mood for LOL." He flips to the game's screen card. "Gonna need to join a team though."
"No problem.," Jungkook clicks the game on his own pc until the loading screen covers his view. "So many people play League of Legends. We'll be able to find one in no time."
Jackson nods and opens LOL himself. "Let's kick some ass."
"Fuck yeah," Jungkook mumbles, inaudible to everyone but himself.
An hour passes and he and Jackson have been hammering their opponents into the digital abyss. The thrill and surge of adrenaline cause him to forget previous heartaches–aka you. Plus, after finding a team of three to jump into; one member who happens to be female, Jungkook's been able to turn his attention to other prospects.
"Soomin, how long have you been playing LOL for?" Jungkook decides to learn more about his female teammate after claiming the final victory over the opposing team.
"Five years," her raspy voice comes through his headset. It sure is a unique voice, he notes.
"Same. We should play on a team more often. In fact, Jackson and I are thinking about building an official LOL team so we could use a third person. You're really good so if you want, we'd love to have you." Beside him, his friend gives him a confused look. 'We are?' he mouths silently which Jungkook ignores.
"Wait really?" She pauses a moment. "I've never been on a permanent team before. I guess that'd be cool."
"I play late at night sometimes too. Meaning if you ever wanna jump on with me shoot me a message or something."
"Alright, I'll jot down your username."
"Already got yours memorized," he says, a tad more cocky than he meant.
"Damn," she cusses. "You work fast. By the way, do you go to university?"
"Yeah, I go to Seoul National University."
"No way, what year are you? I attend there too. I'm a second-year."
"What?!" He nearly hits the ceiling once the information is disclosed. He had no idea Soomin would be this close and that he could meet her in person. call him eager but should he ask her out? No…he's already made that move with you and look where it left him. He'll ask to hang out first. "We should meet Soomin. As long as you don't mind that I'm a first-year that is," Jungkook chuckle lightly and looks over to Jackson who immediately gives him a double thumbs up.
"Well I'm kinda busy this week but how about next week? Also, if it's good with you, can my boyfriend come?"
Fuck. If this is some kinda joke he'd like to catch a break any time now. Not that he was as intrigued with Soomin as he was, or still is, with you but he definitely thought it was going somewhere!
"You're dating?" Jungkook watches Jackson lower his double thumbs up, frowny face on.
"Yeah, we've been together for a year. Met as classmates." When she giggles Jungkook has the unexpected urge to roll his eyes. Of course, you did, he mutters, just a perfectly peachy coincidence for you two.
"Well that's nice," he says bitterly.
"Oh, I'm sorry Jungkook. He's actually calling me now so I have to go but I'll talk to you soon. And message me when you want to meet. I'll tell my boyfriend about you!"
Great. Jungkook bids her goodbye and she signs off.
"Sorry about Soomin. She seemed cute." Jackson slides his headset off his ears to rest them around his neck. "But you know what? You're still a force to be reckoned with inside the virtual world. I honestly don't know how you do it."
Jungkook grins shyly and slips his headset on the desk. "I've been playing for a long time. Must be something to do with that." He throws a hand over his abdomen when his stomach rumbles at the same time. "We should order food." He browses the cafe's extensive menu on his pc. Nothing but rows and rows of tasty options flash back at him, urging him to spend fortunes.
Still, he's got to cap it at some point with only about 2,000,000 Korean won (about 1,500 USD) in his bank account. The Jeon family is wealthy but Jungkook is not. His parents are especially careful to inform him that generational wealth is not going to be given to him freely. Instead, he is to earn his own money, starting at the car wash which he worked at over the summer.
"I'm getting an order of Tteokbokki and a soju. What about you?" Jackson punches in his order, sparing a glance at Jungkook who's tapping on his keyboard with one hand while the other rests under his chin.
"The Jjajangmyeon looks good. I'll get that with a soju too." After Jungkook enters in his own order he strolls his chair out from under the gaming table. "Do you see a bathroom around here?"
"Yeah, it's all the way to that far right corner." Jackson points in that direction with his thumb.
"Okay, I'll be right back."
Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom.
Jungkook repeats the simple word to himself. He scans the corner Jackson gestured towards earlier but sees nothing except a giant blank wall. Must have meant the opposite direction. He turns himself around to scout the other side of the floor.
"Excuse me sir-" a voice chimes close behind him.
"Oh sorry." He steps aside to let the young lady by and as soon as he does his whole body jerks forward in shock. "__!"
You turn around with the tray of food in your hand in what looks like a work uniform. "Yes, what can I do–Kookie?" You grip the plastic tray firmer to keep it from shaking uncontrollably, though the clamminess of your palms makes it a challenging task. Seeing Jungkook at the place you work was bound to happen being that the PC Bang is close to the university. You just weren't prepared for it to be tonight during one of your last shifts of the season.
"I didn't know you worked here."
"Yeah, only part-time." After bumping into Jungkook moments ago, you found it inevitable to avoid him further. You agreed to meet him outside once your break started. "I'm planning on leaving before the semester gets crazy. I have about a week left probably."
It dawns on Jungkook that he doesn't know what you study so with shifty eyes and clenched fists, he asks. "What are you going for?"
"Engineering." You can tell he wasn't expecting that for an answer; most don't be a woman in the field and all. "Jungkook, let's not do this. I'm sorry about what happened the other night." A sick queasy feeling settles in your gut–you're well aware you did Jungkook wrong. You're not proud of it in the slightest and him standing in front of you right now only reminds you of your guilt.
"I waited for you __. You said you come even if it was a rejection." A twinge of hurt laces behind his words and he keeps a controlled stance. He doesn't get in your face, demanding for an answer, nor does he break down and cry. He's more inquisitive than anything else. "Where were you? Why didn't you come?"
"I–" You intertwine your fingers, a nervous habit you picked up in childhood. "I panicked Kookie. I'm so sorry."
Jungkook stiffens when he hears the endearing name drop from your soft lips again. It was nice at first but now it feels like a sharp pain twisting in his side, like a thorn only for his misery. "Can you not call me that, please? It's–It's making me uncomfortable."
"Oh god," you lunge forward out of instinct but freeze when he steps back. "Jungkook I really am sorry. I was planning to see you. I had my shoes on and everything. Like I said I panicked, I'm not suited for relationships. And I'm not suited for you."
The last part stings the most.
"But–"
“There’s no buts Jungkook." You place your hand on the door of the building. " I have to get back to work."
"Wait!"Jungkook moves to face in front of you from an angle. "You say you're not suited for relationships but why did you get ready to see me? Why didn't you just say no to me? And last week when you told me you needed more time to think…was it a lie?"
"Because I like you okay? You're cute, protective, sweet, but you like me too much." you release the handle. "You don't know anything about me yet you've already got into a fistfight with an obscene jerk for me and claim you'll wait for me even when you just met me. If you love me this much now how much more will you love me later?"
" I'll love you for eternity."
"See this is it, Jeon. You saying stuff like this before anything real has happened between us–it's too much. How can you be this devoted to basically a stranger? You'll love me for eternity but have you considered that maybe I won't?"
"What are you saying?"
"What makes you think I'll love you as much as you do me?"
" I don't think like that __. I don't want a relationship so I can see what I can get. that's not how my mind works. I understand that I've been very forward with you. I should have been more conscientious about how that would make you feel but when I say that I love–"
"Please, don't drop the 'L' word. If you're saying love then you don't love me; only the idea of me."
Jungkook pauses, wordless
"Never thought of it that way huh? Guess not. Let me ask you something…do you know what I do? With men?"
He swallows and shakes his head no
"I sleep with them. A new guy a week if not twice a week. People call me a whore, and I'm spreading my legs for everyone and anyone willing. Do you want to get involved with someone like that?" You wipe away an escaped tear.
"I don't care about that at all __."
"Well, you should! This is who I am Jungkook. I can't let you be responsible for me. So unless you want a one-night stand or a friends-with-benefits relationship, I suggest you forget about me. I can't be your girlfriend."
"__!" Your manager shoves the front door open, causing you and Jungkook to jolt in surprise. " Where have you been? We have about twenty orders that need to be served."
"Sorry Manager Choi. I'll get right on it." You spare Jungkook one last glance before disappearing back inside the PC Bang. "I'm sorry," you say with a lowered head.
That night Jungkook lays on his bed, thumb hovering over your name in his contacts list. His logical side whispers for him to delete it. His heart says to call, text, or do something to–no. He remembers your pained facial expression; on the verge of tears as you explained to him that he'd been too quick in making his mind up about you. But then he replays your final words.
"…unless you want a one-night stand or a friends-with-benefits relationship, I suggest you forget about me. I can't be your girlfriend."
Well, he doesn't want the first two but if it meant he could be in your life longer–stop. His logical side intrudes. "You don't want to go down that path," he matters to himself. "It's better if you just delete the number." Jungkook moves to tap the trash can icon on your phone contact, a pang in his chest. Just as he's mustered up enough strength his phone buzzes off, screen lighting the entirety of the darkened dorm room. His roommate groans at the sound and rolls over in their bed.
"Jungkook," said roommate rubs his face. "I have an 8:15 tomorrow morning. Please speak take it in the hallway."
Jungkook quietly jumps out of bed not solely because of courtesy to his roommate but also because it's from you.
"Jungkook… can you um…"
"__?" He eases the door shut behind him and paces up and down the hallway. "Are you there?"
"Can you meet me at the bus stop near the campus library/ I'm sorry to be asking you it's just that…Jun-ho's–"
"What is it? Are you okay? What about Jun-ho?"
" I'm taking the bus back from work and he's on the same one he keeps staring at me and I'm scared of following me back to my dorm. Please Kookie-Jungkook I mean. I don't have any right to ask you, I know. He won't try anything with the bus driver here but once I get off I'll be alone. I have some pepper spray in my bag–"
"Yes, yes I'll be right there. How far are you out?" This isn't about pursuing you, impressing you, or anything like that anymore; it's about your safety. Jungkook leaps into his room, grabs his wallet, and shoves the sneakers on his feet. "__? Did you hear me?"
" I'm five minutes from the stop. Oh, he's, he's still staring at me."
"Don't look at him __. I'm walking down right now. Stay on the phone with me. I'll be waiting for you when you get there okay?"
"Thank you Kook. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. If Jun-ho's tracking you down like a wolf, it'll be his funeral." The icy tone in Jungkook's typically warm, milky tone sends a shiver up your spine.
The bus you're on pulls up in exactly five minutes, as you estimated. Jungkook frantically searches for you through the window glass, growling when he sees Jun-ho standing up a few rows behind you. He makes sure to be as close to the bus's exit doors as possible so he can grab your hand as soon as you step out.
"Hey!" He greets you loudly. "How was your shift?"
"Great! We were running around like crazy but thankfully, I didn't have to work through the night." You cling his hand tighter, slinging your other arm around his.
"That's a blessing." Jungkook and you walk faster, putting more space between you and Jun-ho. "You must be tired."
"Oh yeah, I can't wait to slee–ah!" You trip over a ledge on the sidewalk. Jungkook grips you before you completely fall flat on your behind.
"New feet?" He can't help but joke and you slap his arm. Jungkook helps straighten you back up, your hands remain interlocked. When it comes to a split in the road, you and Jungkook filter to the right side towards the female dorms. You hope to god Jun-ho takes the left.
"He's such a fucker." Jungkook curses, peering over his shoulder just enough to see Jun-ho faltering at the intersection. He burns holes at both of you so much that it makes Jungkook feel like kneeing him in the gut but he doesn't want to provoke the bastard–putting you in unpredictable danger. "I'll get you to your dorm. Which one is yours?"
"Up ahead." You gesture at the brick building with the number 318.
"We can let go of our hands now." You're the first to speak after arriving outside your dorm.
Jun-ho thankfully did not follow you any more than back at the split in the path between male and female dorms. The fact that he still attends school here makes your skin crawl. You don't exactly like calling people a mistake but Jun-ho is by far an exception. You messed around with the guy one time while you both were a bit tipsy and he keeps hounding you. If you need to, you will make him stay away from you permanently.
"Promise me you'll get a restraining order on him if this happens again or gets worse." Jungkook ignores your suggestion to release your hands. "That idiot has no right to be around you."
"I will. Thank you for coming out. I was nervous to call you being what happened earlier. I truly, from the bottom of my heart, am sorry. And I know having to go back to work left things hanging so if there's anything else you wanted to talk about or tell me, please feel free."
"Anything for you–" slips out of his mouth before he can stop it. He slaps a hand over his mouth instantly, you chuckle softly.
"It's okay Jungkook," you reassure. "I can tell you wear your heart on your sleeve. You're naturally very accommodating and flattering."
"And you're beautiful. Damnit, I did it again. I'm sorry __, but whenever I look at you I feel butterflies and I say a lot of fluffy stuff. I'm not trying to flirt or impress you by using what can be in the right context, shallow methods. But yeah, I was thinking about what happened at the cafe earlier tonight and I think get it–I've been too quick to the draw. I'm honestly not sure why I'm so attracted to you other than the fact that you're breathtakingly gorgeous in literally every way, both physical and non-physical. It makes me want to know you more. And the fact that assholes like Jun-ho won't leave you alone makes me want to be your personal bodyguard or something. I don't lift as much as him but fuck, I can keep him in his place. I'm starting to sound crazy, aren't I? It's like you said, we're strangers after all…right?"
Jungkook waits for you to respond. The cool autumn air is crisp against your cheeks, not cold enough to see your own breath, but enough to have you secretly grateful for the warmth that comes from his hand. That's right, you've been clinging onto his hand for dear life for the past fifteen or more minutes. You should probably let go now if weren't for the fact that he's also clinging onto yours just as hard.
"You really want to know me Kookie?" You brush a few strands of his hair that have blown in front of his eyes. He's incredibly handsome now…how did you not see it before? Sure he's cute with his bunny-like smile, mole on his button nose, and his adorable voice that makes you oh so soft and comfortable inside. But he's also handsome with his piercing oak tree-colored eyes, perfectly sharp jaw, and eager yet tenacious energy that always seems to show up for you.
Jungkook takes your other hand in his, swinging them between you both. "Of course," his earnest voice chippers. "It’s next to impossible for me not to want to know you. I'm sure I'll eventually move on if that's what you really want, but if there's another alternative that can avoid that I'd like to take it. You seem to be in deep thought about something…" he switches up his response when he notices you don't look as alert as you usually do. “__.”
"I'm here," you say, the tiniest bit dazed. "I was just thinking about something."
"Yeah I know, but about what?"
You swallow before replying. “…You.”
Jungkook smiles sheepishly. You're unsure if he's pleased or nervous. "Is it–is it something good or should we leave it here?"
"Are you free tomorrow?" You bite the inside of your cheek, begging yourself not to take it back. "It's Sunday so I get if you have some last-minute studying to do. Just thought maybe we could do something….together." Jungkook goes to reply, cheeks more than raised but you continue speaking before he sounds a word. "It's not a date per se. I'm being crazy annoying but I'd like to be friends first with something extra."
"You said no to friends before though. This isn't an offer to be friends with benefits is it?"
"That was when I wasn't sure what I wanted with you if anything. I didn't want to take advantage of you or anything. I want to start as friends so we can see if we can somehow be more. I'm interested in you Jungkook so no, not friends with benefits but rather, friends with the potential to be more."
"Okay," Jungkook squeezes your hands. "I can do that. What do you want to do? What time do you want to meet? What do you want me to wear?"
"First of all, if we're going to do this I'm going to need you to treat me like your bro. Wear what you want, we can meet afternoon and we'll figure it what to do along the way." You think your suggestion is fair yet it's crystal clear that it's not ideal for Jungkook, given the pout on his face.
"I don't want you to be my bro though," he whines.
"We start as bros or we're not hanging out." You're firm because you want this to work but you know yourself, and you need to take this slow.
"No wait, okay. Bro it is. You'll be the prettiest bro of mine."
"Jungkook," you snort, undignified. "That sounds weird."
He shrugs, "I'm weird when I'm with my friends. Especially when they're as pretty as you, it makes me all dumb because I can't seem to think straight anymore."
"Alright Romeo," you say, face flushing. "Save the rest for tomorrow."
<< ch. II ༓ ch. IV >> | series masterlist
A/N: This was originally going to be three chapters but it will be extended 😶 Lmk what you think and if you wanna to be tagged fill out tag form or ask 💞
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#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook imagine#jungkook fanfic#bts fanfic#bts angst#bts fluff#bts imagine#bts scenarios#fic:lovesremedyonfire#kookslastbutton
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𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗬𝟮𝗞
𝗔𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗘𝗻𝘁𝗿𝘆 𝗼𝗳: 𝟱𝟬 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲
[𝗦𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝗬𝗼𝘂: 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗖𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗱]
𝗢𝗻 𝗥𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗮𝘁: 𝗟𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗱𝗲 - 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗮 𝗔𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗿𝗮, 𝗟𝗶𝗹' 𝗞𝗶𝗺, 𝗠𝘆𝗮, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗣!𝗻𝗸
how do you bring life to others?
i've reached over 2k followers, and i am long overdue for hosting a game, so i present to you this one! thank you to all who have decided to folllow me! i feel like i've been a little all over the place with content, but i'm happy to see you all interact with it when i do actually get to post 😭 i'll try to be more productive in the future! again, thank you!
some of the questions include [a] or [someone]; this is to allow participants to have the most flexibility possible.
[a] or [someone] could be your next partner, someone you know in real life, your future spouse, or anyone you want it to be.
please, specify who [a] or [someone] is to you when sending in an ask, or it will not be answered.
𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘆 𝗠𝗶𝘅
𝗜。 𝗥𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗼𝗮𝘁 - 𝗔𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘆𝗮𝗵
how will [a] sexual encounter go?
𝗜𝗜。 𝗙𝗼𝗼𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵 - 𝗔𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶
what lessons were you to gain from your last relationship?
𝗜𝗜𝗜。 𝗡𝗼 𝗢𝗻𝗲 - 𝗔𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮 𝗞𝗲𝘆𝘀
how does [someone] feel about you?
𝗜𝗩。 𝗟𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀, 𝗧𝗶𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀, & 𝗕𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 - 𝗝𝗮𝘇𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝗹𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗮𝗻
how are you holding yourself back?
𝗩。 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄 𝗨𝗽 - 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝘂𝘀𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗮𝘁 𝗗𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘀
how would fame be for you?
𝗩𝗜。 𝗗𝗶𝘃𝗮 - 𝗕𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲
how do you gain attention?
𝗩𝗜𝗜。 𝗡𝗼 𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗪𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗗𝗼 - 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗝。 𝗕𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗲
why does [someone] choose you?
𝗩𝗜𝗜𝗜。 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝗜𝘀 𝗖𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻' - 𝗕𝟮𝗞
what holds people back from committing to you?
𝗜𝗫。 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 (𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗜 & 𝗜𝗜) - 𝗨𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗿
what is [someone] hiding from you?
𝗫。 𝗕𝘂𝘆 𝗨 𝗔 𝗗𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗸 (𝗦𝗵𝗮𝘄𝘁𝘆 𝗦𝗻𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻') - 𝗧-𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻
how will [someone] approach you?
𝗫𝗜。 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗚𝗼𝘁 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗱 - *𝗡𝗦𝗬𝗡𝗖
what is your next blessing?
𝗫𝗜𝗜。 𝗛𝗲𝘆 𝗬𝗮! - 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗸𝗮𝘀𝘁
what is an overarching theme or lesson in your love life?
𝗫𝗜𝗜𝗜。 𝗛𝗼𝘁 𝗜𝗻 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗲 - 𝗡𝗲𝗹𝗹𝘆
what do people or [someone] find sexually attractive about you?
𝗫𝗜𝗩。 𝗟𝗲𝘁 𝗠𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 - 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗼
how can you open yourself up to receive love?
𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒:
i. you must be following me ii. reblog or like this post iii. tell me one post or game you would like to see from me OR tell me what you like about my blog. DO NOT be vague when answering this; simply saying "an astrology post" or "a PAC reading" WILL NOT COUNT. iv. send in the song and question you choose like this:
song and artist - question
(ie. let me love you - mario - how can i open myself up to receive love?)
v. feedback is greatly appreciated, but not required. it helps me in knowing if my intuition and interpretation of the cards is correct. vi. please, be patient! i'm very close to finals week and i'm taking 50 asks at a time. it's okay to send an ask to check if yours was sent, but do not spam me! i will update on my progress when i can.
[𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃]
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Desiderium II
Loki Laufeyson x f!Reader
<- Part I
Note: Thank you so much to everyone who left such kind feedback on the first part of this series! <3
Warnings: A little bit of angst, mentions of death/disappearances, a crazy amount of pining
Word Count: 6,170
It had all started well over one thousand years ago, when you and the now so well known god of mischief were but babes at the mercy of the wild world around you.
You, the daughter of a powerful and well sought after witch named Karliah and an experienced healer named Tal, born and raised for eight years within the woods of Asgard until destiny laid herself bare before you and stole you away.
A witchling by blood, and a strong one at that, your parents had brought you up with grace and dignity in mind, each passing day a new lesson, and each moment spent a gift, though one that sadly ended up being in low reserve.
Eight blessed years of life spent with two loving parents, before it was traded for a still well-loved, but slightly more lonely life with your aunt, whose adoration did not make up for your sorrows, but did keep you from going down the wrong path upon your loss.
'Abandoned' they had called you when your dear aunt moved you out of the woods and into the palace to live alongside her, 'Left behind', they'd said.
But deep down, nearly everyone knew the truth of the matter.
Karliah was no weak woman, and Tal no coward. If neither had come for their daughter within the first few days of their sudden absence, then surely something had come for them, something strong enough to harm the most powerful witch in the known realms outside of those found within the royal family.
Most shuddered at the thought of this, and stuck to the tall tales of your improper abandonment instead.
'Poor witchling, left to die, so lucky to have been brought in by the merciful hands of her aunt, the palace teacher, educator of the princes and all other royal manners of children, be them visitors or otherwise.'
Oh, and of course, you.
From eight onward, you had lived within the palace walls, wandering from corridor to corridor and exploring every available nook and cranny until you had all but mapped it out within your mind, branding this once so foreign place as your home with a childlike fondness.
And you had not done such a thing by your lonesome, had you?
No, of course not, for everyone knew of your friendship with the feeblest prince, little Loki Odinson, the magic bearer, the one who used his mother's feminine magic, the seidr, over that which had been deemed stronger by the many men of Asgard.
The boy cared not for his image after all, he was just a child, the second born son of a god, and thus not the one who would have to worry about succeeding the throne himself someday.
No, that duty fell to Thor, more brawn than brains, but oh so sweet, though he notably lacked the vast intelligence of his brother.
It was as if someone had cut the perfect child in twain and created some hilariously different duo to see what the Allfather might do.
And though he loved them both, it was clear that in Odin's eye, the brawn came before the brains nearly every single time.
So, while Thor had his expectations laid out before him upon his birth, Loki had spent his days wandering the halls with you, the little witchling and her trickster prince, bound together by adventure and some childlike wonder found only in the eyes of those who had yet to learn but craved so desperately to do so.
The two of you were as close as close could get, tugging each other along by the hand, whispering secrets into one another's ears, every day a new opportunity to amuse yourselves in spite of the boredom that seemed to surround the palace.
Though, notably, you seemed to be the most interesting character of all, and perhaps that had been what had drawn your trickster prince to you in the first place.
Your mother's daughter to be sure, just as she'd had prophetic visions, ones containing the future in bursts that she often controlled, you had something rather similar, though far less easily grasped.
You, Asgard's little witchling, had prophetic dreams randomly while deep within your slumber, something that you had learned shortly after taking up residence within the palace.
It made you miss your mother tremendously to have her powers, and you resented the lack of control that you had over them, but even so, as each passing dream came true, you found suddenly that you were far more useful to those around you.
You were able to say which one of two dinner options might be best for upcoming guests based upon visions you would see weeks prior to their arrival, and on more than one occasion, you had avoided being caught by straying away from the wrong hallways while on your adventures with your dear friend after having had a particularly useful dream a night or two beforehand
Loki, of course, so heavily fixated on his intense study of magic, was entranced by this naturally inherited power of yours, and would gladly spend hours hearing you talk about your visions, no matter how mundane.
Except after one dark evening, he found that you no longer wished to.
You had woken up pale, a sure sign of a vision the night before, one that the god of mischief, thirteen years old at the time, knew all too well.
He had greeted you enthusiastically, something that was not so uncharacteristic of him at that time, only to find that you did not wish to talk about what you had seen.
Something bad, he'd realized with a start, having never considered before the downside to a power such as yours.
Sure, your mother had been able to control hers in some ways, but yours could appear almost as nightmares to you, uncontrollable and painful, because in the end, waking up offered little relief.
It could still come true after all, more than likely would too.
Not a very fair situation for such a young witch to endure on her own.
So, he decided, you would not have to.
And thus, a promise had been made.
Under the blooming flowers of one of many beautiful trees in the queen's garden, you and the god of mischief locked your pinkies together in fealty.
You would no longer hide your visions, no matter how frightening, from your prince, and in turn, he would never lie to you, at least not on purpose.
It was a childish way to appease one another, but in the end, that promise was what ended up driving you onward far into the future.
In fact, that promise was why you had ended up in the Avenger's Tower in the first place, lying on the floor with an audience of heroes watching as the man who had once been your closest friend rushed toward you, falling to his knees close enough that he could touch you if only he reached out.
You had missed his touch more than that of anyone else throughout your many years of solitude, a fact which gnawed at you slightly when you thought about your aunt and the wonderful hugs she had once given, until the final one, which had oh so sadly been in farewell.
Still, even she could not top the feeling of being held by Loki Laufeyson, though back when he had still done so, he had been Loki Odinson to you, and to everyone that knew him.
It had been Loki Odinson who had danced with you at nearly every social event, Loki Odinson who had mastered the art of sneaking into your room each night, Loki Odinson who had held your hand sweetly since childhood as you'd wandered through paths yet untraveled by your feet, and Loki Odinson who had kissed you beneath that same tree which the two of you had made that binding promise under.
You could only hope, as you looked up at the man before you, that Loki Laufeyson was not so terribly different.
You were unsure if you could take another loss, after all, not after having been alone for so very long, yearning to see the face of the one you once loved, silently praying that he might find you somehow, back in that old cabin where the two of you had carved your names in your youth.
Over your one hundred or so years there, you had all but traced that carving raw, remembering what it had been like to have the god of mischief at your side.
There was no longing like that which you felt for Loki, and of that you were certain.
Even as he stared at you with such a wild expression that you almost wondered if he had gone mad at the sight of you after so many years, perhaps having long since thought you gone from him.
It would not be so strange, after all, that you would have died in the time that passed. As far as your dear Loki knew, you were but a witchling, your immortality fragile and preserved almost entirely by the safe life that you once had led in the palace alongside him until your "disappearance".
You almost shuddered to think about explaining all of that to him now, and wondered briefly in the back of your mind if any part of him blamed you for your sudden absence.
Had his father told him of all that had transpired? Had Thor? Or had your dear prince of Asgard been left to wonder what had become of you, assuming himself abandoned at your hand?
As you gazed up at his still so perfect features, taking in their persistent familiarity, you found that you could not tell.
That is, until he spoke up, voice husky and thick with what almost sounded like grief, or the impending weight of tears.
"Starlight?"
He repeated as if in disbelief, the familiar name causing you to freeze up instantly.
You stared, unable to move nor speak.
The entire room fell silent as everyone watched on in shock at the scene unfolding before them.
There, on the floor, having just fallen out of some magical hole in the wall, was a woman. The very same woman, in fact, that this small group of avengers had just seen smiling within Loki's hellishly realistic dream as the duo lovingly lived out their life together.
A life that had never existed.
A life that, according to the adopted son of Odin himself, never would.
Except he'd never anticipated this, had he?
No, they could see his surprise in the way he stared down at you, his hands hovering just inches away as if he were afraid you would turn to dust before his very eyes if he even dared touch you.
And maybe you would, it was hard to tell when one did not know, after all.
Hard to tell, indeed.
The silence persisted for several long moments, before finally, you spoke up.
"I-I found you,"
You began, a soft smile gracing your lips, though it notably did not erase the obvious exhaustion from your eyes,
"It worked."
Loki frowned at that, his eyebrows knitting with confusion as he remained on his knees before you, the god of mischief, so besotted and enamored by your presence that he would live upon his knees once more, for however long you so required.
A surprising sight, to be sure, at least for all who bore witness to it from the outskirts.
Though notably, you did not seem to pay it any mind, as if his almost pleading body language was a normal part of speaking with him that you had come to know so well.
Loki reached forward hesitantly, his fingers outstretched as if he were about to place his hand upon glass, and with another tired smile, you did the same, placing your smaller fingertips against his with a sense of ease that had the entire room outside of yourselves wondering what could possibly be going on in front of them.
Who were you? What were you doing here? How had you gotten here? And why was the god of mischief himself looking at you as if he'd seen a ghost?
Whatever answers they were seeking though, they did not find quite yet, not in the still pervasive quiet of that room you all inhabited.
Still, all watched on with immense interest as Loki's eyes widened at your touch, and he withdrew as if stung, expression morphing into one of confusion, pain, and longing all at once, all of these being emotions that few in this room had ever seen him experience before.
"What are you doing here?"
Loki asked cautiously as he lowered his hand back down to his side, watching with sharp eyes as you did the very same with a casualness that nearly made him shiver.
If this was not truly you, then it was a damn good copy, one that rivaled any of his own creation in the history of time itself.
You let out a shaky sigh, your smile somehow growing more exhausted each time that you wore it upon your face.
"I needed to find you. I know that it's been a long time, and that you probably won't have any idea what I'm talking about when I say this, but I made a promise, and I am bound not only by my word, or the title I was given, but also by my care for you to ensure that I keep it, no matter what."
You looked down toward the floor, clearly expecting Loki to overwhelm you with questions, having long since anticipated his reaction to a moment such as this one, especially since it had been so very long since your promise had been made...
But to your surprise, he only had one question to ask, one that had the entire room buzzing with quiet conversation and confusion, and your eyes alight with utter shock.
"You've had a vision?"
He asked gently, tone low and concerned, eyes seeking yours and clearly finding the answer he was looking for there within in instant.
You nodded anyway.
Loki turned immediately to the small crowd standing behind him, though he was most notably looking for Tony, his expression pleading for the very first time since he had been imprisoned within this realm.
"I apologize for the suddenness of my request, Stark, but might you have some available space for her to stay?"
He asked quietly, as if trying to keep their discussion private in spite of the crowd watching on curiously.
"I believe this conversation may take us some time..."
He trailed off, thankfully having his question answered before he had to elaborate any further.
"Uh yeah sure, there's an empty room two doors down from yours, have at it..."
Tony trailed off himself after a few moments, before finally he continued,
"Just uh, keep me updated, okay? I try to make it a habit to actually know the people who are staying on my property."
Loki offered the man a rather firm nod in response to his request, moving into a kneeling position and offering his hand to you, his fingers outstretched and his palm upturned,
"Can you stand, starlight?"
He murmured, and immediately you nodded, grasping onto the god's hand and pulling yourself to your feet just as he did the same, allowing the audience to truly see you for the very first time, though it was your clothing far more than your physical form that garnered their attention.
The cloak around your shoulders was a deep and stunning green adorned with familiar gold accents, though on the inside, it was dark and lined with what somehow looked to be a billion little gold stars lighting up a night sky. It was almost as if they twinkled even as you stood still, wrapping the fabric tighter around your neck as everyone seemed to stare.
"Follow me." Loki said quietly, letting go of your hand after a brief moment of hesitance, and though you nodded, taking a few short steps forward just as the god began to make his way toward the door, you did not make it nearly as far as he, instead having your eyes roll back suddenly before you pitched forward without warning, the sensation of a single strong arm wrapping around your waist from behind as voices sounded from all around you being the last sensation you felt before darkness closed in.
The next thing that you knew, you were waking up in an entirely unfamiliar room, in an equally unfamiliar bed with a soft groan of confusion and pain, your head throbbing and your bones aching in spite of your still relatively young age (as far as Asgardians went, that is).
Immediately, your eyes landed upon the god sitting in a chair beside you, his gaze unwavering yet somehow almost casual as he took in the sight of you once more.
How long had it been since he had seen you last? Over one hundred years at least, that was to be sure.
You gazed back at him, a pained groan leaving you just before you spoke,
"What happened?"
You asked, hearing the god of mischief hum from where he sat before he pushed a glass of water in your direction.
You took it eagerly, beginning to drink it in small and controlled sips.
"You over exerted yourself."
Loki said simply,
"Whatever it is that you did to get here nearly took every ounce of energy that you had."
His tone was disapproving as he spoke, but you chose to ignore it in favor of focusing a little bit too hard on your water in an effort to avoid him.
This was harder to do than you'd thought it would be, seeing him after all this time.
It didn't make it hurt any less, not even in spite of all the years that had passed, and you struggled not to stare at the way his hair still fell the same, and his clothing still looked so similar.
It did not appear as though either of you had changed in the slightest, and yet you knew for a fact that such a thing was not true.
"We both know that you were taught better than to risk your health for something foolish."
Loki said, his tone stern but his voice soft, as if he hadn't yet decided how he was supposed to address you.
You sighed in response, looking away at the subtle reminder of who exactly it had been that had worked so tirelessly to teach you better.
You did not dare allow yourself the opportunity to wonder what had become of her.
"We do."
You replied casually, though your tone betrayed your nerves, as did your fidgety body language.
"But this is far from foolish, I'm afraid."
You all but murmured, watching as your old friend leaned closer, urging you silently to continue,
So, you did.
"I-..."
You trailed off, briefly giving up before finally starting over again.
It was so hard to explain, all of this, all that had happened, but Loki deserved to know the truth, and if no one else would tell him, and you had made a promise, then who were you to deny him the knowledge that was so rightfully his?
"Lo..."
You trailed off a second time as you watched the god of mischief flinch at the once familiar nickname, immediately causing you to clear your throat and try again.
"Loki, there is something that I have to tell you, and I want you to know that it was never my decision to keep it from you for this long. When I found out, I searched and searched all over for you, but Odin found me first, and there was nothing that I could do but flee..."
Loki looked down at you, confusion etched into each of his features,
"I do not understand."
He spoke,
"What does Odin have to do with the promise you once made to me? In what manner has he worked his way into this?"
You frowned, unable to meet the gaze of the being who had once been your best friend, and then almost so much more, as you finally spoke.
"Loki, Odin has everything to do with this, because it was he who banished me and made it impossible for me to find you for so long. He saw me as I was searching the palace for you, and could tell from my complexion alone that I'd had a vision..."
You trailed off for a moment, but Loki motioned for you to continue, his body language reminding you of the way that he had once so eagerly listened to the tales of your visions, his eyes always wide and his body always leaned in toward yours, as if he feared that he might miss something if he could not make out every little syllable and each individual pause.
Oh, how you missed those times with him.
Yet even so, instead of lingering upon those thoughts as you so wished to, you carried on.
"He could tell that I'd had a vision, yet when I would not tell him of what, and I insisted that I speak to you instead, he seemed to know immediately what I had witnessed, in spite of how hard I had tried to hide it."
Loki raised a questioning brow at you, his gaze still unwavering,
"So he knew what you saw and did not approve of you telling me?"
You nodded, but it seemed that Loki was not yet finished,
"Alright, that's easy enough to understand, but what does any of that have to do with this promise we made to one another? How did his knowing of your vision stop you from telling me of it for so long? And what could have possibly consumed you to waste so much energy on finding me just to keep your childhood promise after all of these years?"
You flinched slightly at the barrage of questions, but did your best to respond,
"I know this is complicated, but you have to understand, Loki, Odin never wished for you to know, and he was willing to do whatever he needed to in order to ensure that you didn't."
Loki sighed, dropping his head into his hand,
"And what exactly was it that you saw then, starlight? Do you intend upon enlightening me anytime soon?"
He was growing cross with you now, in that very same way he once had with his teachers when they did not give him the answers to his questions as directly as he wished.
He was still so hungry for knowledge, and you could not help but wonder what trouble that had gotten him into throughout your many years apart.
You placed your hand upon his, palm grazing the back of his hand more out of habit than anything else, though you did not move it even when he tensed, desperately wanting to believe that he still found something soothing within your presence, and that you had not lost him entirely, not when he still owned so very much of your heart and soul.
"I am going to tell you, Loki, why would I come here just to break my promise?"
You reasoned gently, watching as your dear god of mischief simply scoffed lightly before looking toward the ground, never one to admit it when he had overreacted.
"What I saw in my vision was no small revelation, and I want you to know that keeping it from you for so very long was never my intention."
You began, eyes growing desperate as you took both of the god's hands into your own, causing him to look up toward you once more,
"I was banished, Loki, never would I have chosen to betray you so otherwise, and I pray that you know that."
The god sitting before you pulled his hands away from yours at that, eyes growing weary, as if he was no longer certain that he could trust you.
It nearly shattered your heart to feel his touch be ripped away from yours after so very long of being alone, of missing him each and every day, but even still you did not reach back out for him again in that moment.
"Betray me?"
He whispered, his tone gaining a slight edge to it as he spoke,
"What do you speak of, witchling?"
He hissed, and you were quick to respond,
"My prince, you do not understand, what I am saying is that I never would have chosen to betray you by waiting as long as I have to tell you what I am about to. You have always been dear to me, and I have felt guilt eat away at me for all of these years that I have allowed this lie to endure in spite of my knowledge, even if I could not risk helping it until now."
Loki sighed, motioning for you to continue,
"Just get on with it then, I desire not to be kept in such suspense regarding my own life, starlight."
You took a deep breath, nodding as you began, trying your best to maintain eye contact even when it got hard.
"Loki, over one hundred years ago, I had a vision of some event far in the future, wherein you sought out your father's treasures, and learned a most difficult truth."
You watched as the being sitting in front of you stiffened slightly, his gaze widening as he slowly shook his head back and forth.
"No."
He whispered, and you watched on in confusion as he continued,
"No, no, it cannot be. You cannot possibly know. My sole comfort throughout all of these years was that you had no way of knowing..."
He carried on, and hesitantly, you reached forward to take his hand once more, and this time, he simply stared down at where you were touching him, as if not entirely believing your touch to be real anymore.
You offered him a look of deep compassion and sympathy, before finally you continued,
"You are not Odin's true son, Loki, but a-"
"Monster."
He cut you off, voice still quiet and body all too still as he stared down at your enjoined hands.
You shook your head,
"No Lo, not a monster, that is not what I-"
"My knowledge of your vision has come far too late, my dear."
Loki said gravely, a deep and humorless chuckle leaving him as he finally looked you in the eyes again, allowing you to see the tears that had built up there in spite of how hard he had tried to hold them at bay.
To the untrained eye perhaps, they may not have been so obvious, but even after all of these years, you knew his eyes far too well to not notice that they were growing wet.
Your brow creased in confusion and concern as you took his other hand in yours once more, squeezing both the way you always had before when he had experienced some great emotional suffering.
"Whatever do you mean, my prince?"
You asked gently, watching as Loki's expression morphed into one of so many emotions that you could scarcely name them all in the brief moment that they flashed upon his face.
Grief, sorrow, anger, longing, disgust, guilt. So many things to feel, and none of them good.
He continued,
"I'm afraid that what you have revealed is a truth long known to me, sweet starlight."
He said quietly, and instantly you understood, your expression falling as sadness overcame you, not only over you being too late to help him avoid further suffering, but over the way that he so clearly felt about himself.
He thought what he was to be a monster, something to be feared and hated as if it meant a thing.
You squeezed his hands again, urging him to look into your eyes, and drawn in by a habit he had once believed to be long since forgotten, he did, seeking out something within you that you were unsure of, but desperately wished to give.
"Loki, I am so very sorry that I was too late to tell you the truth. I studied so long to find some way to get to you, but I could not risk trying anything until I felt more certain of what might work for fear of Odin finding me."
The god before you regarded your words with utter shock, but you simply smiled in response,
"I will explain all when the time comes, sweet prince, but for now, please just know that you are no less Loki to me now than you ever were, nor were you any less Loki when I learned the truth. You are Loki Laufeyson, or even Loki Odinson if you so choose, and you are a crowned prince of Asgard and the god of mischief. No lineage could ever change that or take it away from you. You are no different now than you were back when you did not know."
Loki regarded you with brief confusion, as if he had never anticipated for you to feel such a way, or maybe for anyone to for that matter, and then suddenly, his eyes were squinted, his mind obviously deep in thought.
You had no doubt that this was partially in effort to change the subject to one he was far more readily prepared to discuss, but you did not tell him that you knew this.
He would talk when he was ready, if he ever truly was.
"Hold on a moment,"
He began,
"I understand that you did not explain all, but there is one thing that I cannot ever see making any sense."
He continued, eyes searching yours for the answer to a question that was yet unasked.
You shrugged,
"Lay it on me, Lo, I'm an open book."
Loki bristled a bit at the nickname, but said nothing, likely all too aware of how much of a habit it was for you, even after all of these years.
To hear it fall from your lips so easily though...
He distracted himself with his question immediately to stop that thought where it began.
"I know that you wished to keep your promise to me, that much is clear, but you spoke earlier of you having done so not for your word, and not for your title, but for care."
You nodded, cheeks reddening slightly at the memory, though the god sitting before you was clearly far too deep in thought to consider the connotation of your words as heavily as he otherwise may have.
"Your care is easy to understand, and your word is another worthy mention when it comes to reasons you may have worked so tirelessly to find me, but I do not understand what you mean by your title. What title is a witchling so bound by that would keep her from breaking her fealty to me? Why would you say such a thing at all?"
You looked away, unable to meet your old friend's gaze even as his eyes bore into you,
"Well..."
You murmured, eyes meeting his once more before you quickly looked away again, hoping somehow, that even after all of these years apart that the silence might speak for you the way that it always had with him.
He had been all but capable of reading your mind once, and who was to say that such a thing ever truly went away?
You watched as Loki's eyes widened by a millimeter, a slight inhale alerting you to some subtle realization that had just entered through the back of his mind, one that he had not been at all prepared to consider, but that made far too much sense for his liking, particularly as he considered all that had happened to you further.
His hand found the underside of your jaw, and without warning, he tilted your head upward, forcing you to look him in the eyes, allowing you to see all of the emotions building within his green irises.
Confusion, anger, frustration, but most of all, disbelief, though you could tell that the latter of the four was quickly fading.
"Starlight, did you tell Odin what you saw within your vision that day?"
He asked sternly, and, swallowing thickly, you shook your head, watching as the god of mischief's eyes widened even further.
"No."
He said matter of factly, repeating your answer as if it might make it easier for him to process what he was slowly coming to realize,
"You- You never told him what you saw."
His tone was incredulous as he spoke, his expression incredibly hard to read as he stood, using the grip you still had on his hands to tug you up alongside him.
His eyes found yours once more now that you were standing together, his head shaking back and forth almost as if he were in utter disbelief of what you were saying.
"And you know what he did, don't you? What you've become?"
He asked gently, and slowly, hesitantly, you nodded, watching as the prince of Asgard chuckled from above you,
"What a surprise you've been at every step of the way, starlight."
He muttered, leaning his head down against yours like he used to for the briefest of moments before he pulled away, clearing his throat slightly as he did.
"Well, now that we have some of those things clarified, what do you say we give the others a real introduction, hmm?"
You nodded after a moment of contemplation, moving to wrap your cloak around your shoulders once more, just barely missing the way that Loki's eyes shone at the familiar sight of it, his hands briefly reaching out toward you before he stopped himself and walked across the room to open the door for you.
From there, he guided you out into a long hallway, maneuvering the two of you about until finally, you reached a rather large common area, where you suddenly realized with a start that everyone from before was waiting.
Thor smiled at you from where he sat on the couch, the apologetic edge to it very nearly causing your heart to weep.
There were few who deserved to feel guilty over what had happened to you less so than Thor, who had only been doing what he was told.
You would have to speak with him privately soon, to thank him for having caught you when you fell forward earlier on in the day, if nothing else.
Though, you suspected that the two of you would have plenty to talk about beyond that.
The room was silent as you and the god at your side entered quietly, all eyes on the two of you as Loki cleared his throat slightly before finally speaking.
"So, as many of you have likely surmised, this is the witchling that was present in the portion of my dream that I showed earlier."
At that, you shot a glance toward the asgardian beside you, briefly wondering what on earth he could have possibly been referencing, when he brought the topic back to the discussion at hand, successfully distracting you for the time being.
"That said, she is no illusion or dream, nor is she some spirit come back to haunt me."
You watched as the man who had granted you permission to utilize a room earlier groaned at that, slapping a wad of green paper into the hand of a blonde woman who sat next to him, who simply grinned subtly.
Still, Loki paid this no mind, and continued after a brief pause,
"She is very real, and though both of us are rather confused, we are working together to figure out what exactly is going on here."
At that, a multitude of hands shot up, causing Loki to glare at those who had raised them until they begrudgingly lowered them once more.
"We will happily inform you of all that we know in just a few moments,"
He said pointedly, causing a few of the people who had been so eager to ask questions before to roll their eyes at his dramatics, though they appeared to be fairly used to them by now based upon their reactions.
"But before we get to that, I would like to introduce you properly."
Loki sighed deeply, casting you a sidelong glance of what almost appeared to be sympathy before he finally continued,
"Starlight, meet my... coworkers of sorts, the avengers."
He began, and you gave a small wave to the people in the room, smiling the tiniest bit when a few friendly looking faces waved back, some even eagerly.
Still, that almost peaceful atmosphere was clearly not meant to last forever, because after Loki's next sentence, well...
"Avengers, meet starlight, the Aesir goddess of compassion, mercy, and fidelity."
All hell broke loose.
Desiderium Tag List: @princess-ofthe-pages
Loki Tag List: @mischief2sarawr
#loki x reader#loki x yn#loki x female reader#loki x fem reader#loki marvel#loki odinson x reader#loki laufeyson x reader#loki x you#loki odinson#loki fanfiction#loki series#loki laufeyson#loki x reader angst#loki angst#fic: desiderium#desiderium
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Eugenia Martinez Vallejo "The Monster" Fanart
I recently read about her, Her story is quite sad and fascinating. She was born in a church and her parents were blessed by this but soon they found something unusual about her, she started growing unusually compared to other children. She had a voracious appetite and gained more weight as she grew older to the point that she became famous in nearby towns and her fame reached the Spanish Court. The fame she received in the village was not pleasant as many people would trespass into her home just to make fun of her physical appearance. To the point that her parents had to keep her hidden inside her home. She never went outdoors until Charles II of Spain heard stories about her and started to feel a great interest in her. Charles II invited her and her family to court to meet Eugenia in person. When the family arrived at court and met King Charles II. He proposed an idea for Eugenia to be part of the Spanish court. Her parents accepted this offer and began to be known as the monster. She lived with the people of pleasure which is composed of individuals who had physical deformities. Their Job is to entertain the king and the court. They were not given a salary, instead, they were given the comforts of living in the palace. Having all kinds of food and wine and wearing the best clothes. She became increasingly famous and many drawings and writings were created about her. She was described as having whitish skin and black hair. She always had a sad expression. Her body had such a volume that she looked somewhat deformed. She always walked with great difficulty almost staggering. This attracted tremendous attention from other girls at court. The other girls would watch her imitate their footsteps and even of the King. many ladies would demand her presence. She would accompany them at court events. They observed her and treated her as if she was a strange being. Charles II would display her at state diners and events. All would come far and wide just to see her. She among other people of pleasure was seen as pets. Historians speculate that she suffers from Prader-Willi syndrome. Despite the mockery she received she enjoyed her time in the palace. She received binders and expensive dresses. It is known that she was pleasant and quite healthy becoming appreciated by the royal family and the nobility. She died on the year 1699 due to her condition.
Eugenia was subjected to mockery and ridicule just because of her weight. She lived her life fully and made the best of her situation. It is so sad that fat shaming is still a thing today. The lesson of this story is not to bully others regarding their appearance.
She had two portraits painted by Juan Carreno de Miranda
As for Charles II, I have read many people making rude comments about him. Yes, he commissioned these portraits to be painted and displayed for all to see. At that time, having a portrait painted for you was a great honor for someone to have. She was used, like other jesters: madmen, blacks, dwarfs, etc. They were called "pleasure people" of the court, typical of the time. Being painted naked was weird and barbaric in the modern eye even I find it weird but at the time, It was a "rarity" and her clothing did not allow us to see her true physical state. The artist's morbidity probably influenced it, although with a minimum of dignity when adding the vine leaves. She lived practically isolated during the first years of her life, which would have greatly affected her social abilities and development if it had continued. In the palace, she did not have to worry about clothing, food, or any work that could cause injuries. Although being part of the "pleasure people" was not the best, she had a better life than he could have had outside. Charles II saved her from a life of isolation and gave her privileges. Charles II is a very compassionate and always shared a great interest in people in her condition because he knew deep down he could relate to them. We have to thank Charles, as he was one of the reasons why her story is known.
#sad stories#Eugenia Martinez Vallejo#charles ii of spain#house of habsburg#carlos ii#please like and reblog#history#sadgirl#historical#my artwork#digital fanart#historical fanart#No to bullying#habsburg#art#digital art#artists of tumblr#bullying#so sad#she deserves better#she so cute#she so pretty#look at her eyes#It is a sad reality#drawing her took time and effort#spain#spanish history
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Poland has announced that it is building massive fortifications along its borders with Russia and Belarus. Serious money is going into this: 10 billion zloty (about $2.55 billion) will go into building the fences and planting forests. Poland’s undertaking raises an important point: Border fortifications can slow down the enemy’s advance, free up troops, and indeed save troops’ lives. More NATO countries ought to follow Poland’s example.
Some countries are blessed by nature. God may have put Finland next to Russia, but at least he also graced the small country with forests along large swaths of its border. During the 1939-40 Winter War, when the Finns valiantly tried to save their country from the invading Red Army, the defenders used the trees to their advantage and dramatically slowed what the enormous Red Army had thought would be a cakewalk.
But the Finnish military has added to the defenses nature provided. “We have a long history in building fortifications, especially for coastal defense and to protect our air bases,” said retired Maj. Gen. Pekka Toveri, a former chief of Finnish military intelligence and now member of the Finnish Parliament. “They protect troops and equipment, and troops in fortified positions can also defend key terrain with fewer troops compared to when you’ve got your troops in the open.”
Poland, too, has several hundred miles of border with Russia (combined with Belarus), but it has less forest than Finland, though it does have a few swamps. Indeed, until Aleksandr Lukashenko’s regime decided to weaponize migration in 2021 and send thousands of migrants across Belarus’s border to Poland, Latvia, and Lithuania, the three countries had little border fortification of any kind. Since then, the Polish government has built a steel wall along its border with Belarus, and Latvia and Lithuania have erected fences.
A steel wall may keep migrants out, but it certainly won’t deter Russian or Belarusian soldiers. Now, Polish Prime Minister Donald Tusk has announced East Shield, a plan to do exactly that. “We want our border to be safe during peace and be impassable during war,” Tusk said at a World War II commemoration ceremony last month, Bloomberg reported. The project will “include the construction of new fortifications, fences, changes in landforms and special forestation along 400 kilometers (249 miles) of land border,” Bloomberg noted. Construction has already started.
Poles support the plans. When asked, just before Tusk’s announcement, whether Poland should “build fortifications (barbed wire, bunkers, trenches) on the border with Russia and Belarus,” 64.3 percent of Poles responded yes, while only 16.5 percent opposed such a move. Indeed, with Poland now spending more than 4 percent of its GDP on defense, allocating less than 10 percent of this year’s budget to fortifications seems worth a try.
$2.55 billion is a hefty sum, even in a country whose 2024 defense budget amounts to about $29 billion. But if forests, fortifications, and fences can keep the enemy out or at least cause a delay, this is money well spent. Fortifications can take blows that would otherwise fall on troops.
“Generally, a fortified border should provide us with more time to respond to any sudden attack, the likelihood of which is minimal, as things currently stand,” noted Marek Swierczynski, the head of the security and international affairs desk at the Polish policy analysis firm Polityka Insight. “It may provide a more robust defense posture against both land and—if sufficiently equipped—a low, slow air attack. The lessons learned from the Ukraine war suggest that a well-prepared and sufficiently manned defensive position may slow down the enemy’s attack to the degree it would culminate and break down much sooner than otherwise.”
In Finland, the fortifications are indisputably a source of strength. “The Army trains the troops in fortification … but we don’t build long trench lines like the Ukrainians do,” Toveri said. “Our fighting positions normally have two, three soldiers with overhead protection, which creates a mutually supporting network of positions protected by minefields. That’s much more difficult to destroy than the trench lines.” The bottom line, Toveri noted, is that “since the threat is heavy Russian artillery and now also drones, fortification gives the troops much better protection.” Better yet, Finnish industry can quickly build concrete and wood elements for such fortification. Indeed, Finland is building new fortifications. (Yes, their locations are classified.)
Poland’s plans and Finland’s good experiences, in fact, suggest every country that borders an increasingly aggressive Russia ought to erect fortifications along their borders. Trees and bollards are indisputably less valuable than soldiers. During the Cold War, the intra-German border, then also the NATO-Warsaw Pact front line, was heavily fortified. The installations were removed in the early 1990s, but anyone wishing to see a few examples for themselves can do so—in a museum on the border between the formerly East German region of Thuringia and the formerly West German Bavaria. And now fortifications may experience a renaissance. Imagine the burden lifted from the shoulders of NATO’s front-line soldiers—and, in the long run, the money saved.
But retired Lt. Gen. Ben Hodges, a career infantry officer who commanded U.S. Army Europe from 2014 to 2017, cautions that fortifications are only as effective as their human and air support. “Fortifications and obstacles such as minefields and tank ditches by themselves are only effective if they are covered with observed artillery or rocket fire,” he said. “Otherwise, the attacking force is able to take their time and conduct deliberate breaching.” And, he explained, “the fortifications have to be in-depth, and they must be properly integrated into NATO’s defense plans for that region. Otherwise, plans could be disrupted by obstacles and fortifications that are not complementary to the defense plans.”
Fortifications designed by an individual country could trip up soldiers from allied countries that come to its aid in a crisis—because defenders, too, have to operate near the border, especially as they try to push the invading forces out. Plus, Hodges added, fortifications consume considerable resources and are expensive.
That means Poland’s planned fortifications will only add benefit if NATO planners know all the details. It’s unclear how detailed Poland’s plans are, as the fortifications’ locations will most likely be kept classified. “We don’t have full clarity yet as to how deep, how wide, and how well armed that fortified line will be and what its aims will be,” Swierczynski said. “In terms of this being an opportunity to free up forces, I think it’s actually going to have a reverse impact. It will need to be manned, and this burden will fall on the armed forces.”
Such sentry duties are likely to be carried out by members of the Territorial Defense Forces, a branch of the armed forces that has particular responsibility for homeland defense and whose often part-time members are deployed in their home regions. “And it will require maintenance and supplies by army engineers and logisticians,” Swierczynski said.
As with all attempts at deterrence, though, what truly matters is whether the potential attacker is swayed. Signaling to Russia that Europe takes its threat seriously may be worth its weight in gold. If the plans merely cause a raised eyebrow in the Kremlin, they’re not worth pursuing. For now, most of us can only guess at the conversations inside the Kremlin—but if Russian media freaks out about the move, it may be one sign that it’s working.
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Though there are certainly lessons to be taken from World War II about the potential for whole populations to be rendered docile, there are also lessons about what it means to defy pacification in extraordinarily bleak circumstances.
When we forget these kinds of stories, we forget about our own capacities for resistance. This text is about telling those stories and letting them become part of our own struggles.
We have already been led to our slaughter — it is all around us. The world in which we exist is a protracted death, a sort of economically-sustained limbo in which hearts are permitted to beat only to the extent that they can facilitate the upward stream of capital.
We who still have air in our lungs are the living dead, and struggle daily to remember what it feels like to be alive, holding tightly to the “desire for wildness that the misery of a paycheck cannot allay.”
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Chapter 18 - Balgruuf II: Dragon Rising
Fredas 22nd of Last Seed 4E201 Evening
Balgruuf the Greater
"You heard the summons. What else could it mean?"
I never thought I would willingly wish for a return to the tedium of daily life. Of taxes and tariffs and petty farmer disputes. By Talos, I'd even prefer the veiled threats I've gotten from Ulfric these past few months. Politics, I can handle. I've years of experience dealing with diplomats, insults, and compromises. But this week of dragons and barrows and... It's all so overwhelming. I thought I might have had a reprieve when a scout returned with news of the dragon's demise, and the survival of Irileth, and of Uthgerd and Talao. I'd dismissed the rest of his report as a flight of fancy, or a hallucination, until...
"The Greybeards..."
I could still feel their call reverberating in some deep part of my being. The Voice is a blessing ingrained in all Nords, though it is something that takes years and longer to manifest. A gift from Kynareth herself. Or so the stories say. I made the pilgrimage of the Seven Thousand Steps once in my youth, but I had already too many commitments to consider studying under their tutelage. Nor do I believe I would have had the temperament for such training. I'm too overfond of speaking when it suits me.
"We were just talking about you. My brother needs a word with you."
And now, the moment of truth. Hrongar sends Talao and Uthgerd to me. I'm eager to hear my suspicions confirmed. Strangely, the two do not seem as though they'd just slain a dragon. Or perhaps not so strange, considering. To be sure, they are both covered in grime and ash, exhausted and triumphant, but it's an undertone to a sense of... bewilderment. Confusion and perhaps a bit of fear. The Breton in particular looks to be in distress, as though he can't focus on any one thing in particular.
I decide to feign ignorance, keen to hear a firsthand account. "So... What happened at the watchtower? Was the dragon there?"
"The tower was destroyed," Uthgerd says, "but we killed the dragon. I damn near cut its head off."
I'd think her bragging if my scout hadn't said the same. "I knew I could count on Irileth. But there must be more to it than that." An awkward pause. Neither seem willing to talk about it for some reason. "Did something... strange happen when the dragon died?"
"...Aye. When the dragon died... I absorbed some kind of power from it." To my eternal surprise, it was not Uthgerd who spoke, but Talao. Everyone in the room is stunned. Everyone here knows what it means.
"So it's true. The Greybeards were summoning you. You're... Dragonborn."
I can count on one hand the number of times my hall has been completely silent but for the crackling of the hearth fire. It always seems louder than the usual chatter somehow. It never lasts for long. Everyone explodes into chatter at once, cries of confusion, anger, "Impossible!"
"Pardon me, Jarl," Talao manages to make himself heard over the commotion "But how is that possible?"
"Well, tell me what you know of the legend of the Dragonborn, Talao. You are the storyteller here."
"I... Well... Dragonborn is a term used to describe the Septim dynasty of the Empire. A blessing from Akatosh, that those whose veins flowed with the blood of dragons remained in covenant with the god, beginning with St. Alessia's founding of the First Empire, and ending with the death of Martin Septim at the hands of Mehrunes Dagon at the end of the Third Era. Those are the documented 'Dragonborn Emperors.'"
"True, but spare us the history lesson." He puzzles me. He's become increasingly uncomfortable as the conversation goes on. "Why are you skirting the issue, Talao?"
"I'm not! I just... The Dragonborn also refers to a warrior, or rather, warriors of ancient Nordic legend who could... Absorb the souls of dragons slain in battle, gaining their knowledge and power. But I recall no pact-making, nor am I descended from the Septim bloodline! I'm not even..."
"What, not a warrior?" I ask heatedly.
"...a Nord," he finishes lamely.
I lean back, looking at Talao over steepled fingers. Why he continued to deny the obvious baffles me; what else could explain the spectacle earlier, or the call? "The Greybeards are masters of 'The Way of the Voice.' They live in seclusion, high on the slopes of the Throat of the World. The Dragonborn," I raise my hand to stifle any objections, "is said to be uniquely gifted in the Voice - the ability to focus your vital essence into a Thu'um, or Shout. IF you really are Dragonborn, they can teach you how to use that gift."
My brother, ever excitable, interjects. "Didn't you hear the thundering sound as you returned to Whiterun? That was the Voice of the Greybeards, summoning you to High Hrothgar. This hasn't happened in... Centuries, at least. Not since Tiber Septim himself was summoned, when he was still Talos of Atmora."
"Calm yourself, Hrongar. What does any of this Nord nonsense have to do with our friend here? Capable as he may be, I don't see any signs of him being this, what, Dragonborn." Shor's bones, does Proventus never keep counsel to himself?
"Nord nonsense? Why, you puffed up, ignorant..." Hrongar looks angry enough to tear Avenicci's head clean from his shoulders. And I must say, I mirror the sentiment. "These are our sacred traditions that go back to the founding of the First Empire!"
While seeing Proventus cower before the rage of my brother is entertaining, it would be poor form to allow his anger to get the better of him. Especially with guests present. "Hrongar, don't be so hard on Avenicci."
For once, Proventus wisely backs down. "I meant no disrespect, of course." Liar. "It's just... What do these Greybeards want with him?"
"That's the Greybeards' business. Not ours." Everyone was looking at Talao now. He still seems unsure, but far less uncomfortable than before. I suppose, as a bard, he is more than used to being the center of attention. "Whatever happened when you killed that dragon, it revealed something in you, and the Greybeards heard it. If they, of all people, think you are Dragonborn, who are we to argue?"
"I suppose, one way or another, they'll have answers I need to hear. I hope. It's as though..." Talao shakes his head. "Forgive me, I'd prefer not to speak of this now."
"I understand. One last thing, Talao. The dragon; was it the same one you saw at Helgen?"
He shakes his head. "Nay. Mirm... This dragon was a sort of bronze color. The one at Helgen was pitch-black, with glowing red eyes."
So it is as we feared then. One dragon could be coincidence, but two different dragons? "My thanks. Go to High Hrothgar. Learn what the Greybeards can teach you. But, before you do..." I stand, and descend the steps. "You've done a great service for me and my city. Both of you. By my right as Jarl, I name you both Thanes of Whiterun. It's the greatest honor that's within my power to grant." Uthgerd seems astonished, and Talao nods, as though perhaps he expected something. "I regret that the matters of your housecarls and badges of office may take a few days to settle, but your actions are deserving of all I can give you; it would not feel right to delay a reward for any reason. You both have gone above and beyond what was required of you, and I speak for all of Whiterun when I say that we are honored to have you as Thanes of our city."
"I... I know not what to say my Jarl," Uthgerd stutters. "Thank you."
Talao inclines his head respectfully. "Passing gracious, my Jarl, I humbly accept."
A wide smile crosses my face. "Now come! Enough of this heavy talk. We have this day slain a dragon, and must celebrate properly! Let's to the Bannered Mare, before Irileth returns and tries to keep me away from the festivities. All hail Uthgerd and Talao, slayers of dragons!"
For such a small group, the cheer is strong and vigorous. Even Farengar joins us as we walk down the steps to leave the hall. Uthgerd seems proud enough, but underneath Talao's cheerful face, I can see the undercurrent of uncertainty lingers. For good reason. A Dragonborn, in this day and age. I'm sure this is what I sensed in him our first meeting, this destiny of his. But the question lingers; why bestow such a gift upon a mortal now, of all times? To slay one dragon? No. Something far greater lurks over the horizon. Talao knows it, and I know it.
Ah, well. Heavy thoughts for another day. Tonight, I plan to drink as much as I can before Irileth spoils my fun. I see little enough of my people these days. If my hangover is as strong as Vignar Gray-Mane's, I'll consider the night a success. And, hopefully, distract myself for at least one night.
A/N: Last "canon" chapter for a while. Slight hints to the nature of Dragon Souls in this fic are being dropped, but any true explanation will be quite far off still. Jarl Balgruuf adheres to the Imperial pantheon of the Eight Divines, though it is known that he also secretly worships Talos. But as a good politician, he must put up a front for the Aldmeri. Uthgerd was glanced over for reason. Namely, that reason being that Balgruuf was way more interested in Talao at this point in time. For those who question why Balgruuf entrusted Talao with his task... well, why does he trust any protagonist with it? Doesn't matter what kind of character you roll, or how you appear, you'll be sent on a mission for merely having survived Helgen. So, there must be another factor at play. Just instincts.
Chapter 17 - Whiterun I: Dragon Rising x Chapter 19 - Uthgerd V: The Way Of The Voice
#fanfic#gaming#skyrim#tes#the elder scrolls#dragonborn#tesblr#the voice of the bard#reblog and review
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Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "Part of the Furniture" Episode Followup, Part 2
Orli's Day: Mk. II shall continue! Don't pop those limbs off being pulled every which way, Orli.
Below the break.
That's the world's most fake plane. Not even an Odd Squad seal on it, so clearly Orwell didn't take OddAir.
Ha...wait, hold up, he's a PILOT???
Since when?! What are his qualifications?! Is he in pilot school? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING AND WHY WILL WE NOT GET AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS.
Okay, these bits with Ozzie and Terry are actually pretty funny. The man's teaching the kid how to be aggressive, bless his heart.
And Ozzie...Ozzie is trying. He is trying very hard. Cut him some slack.
See? He's trying! He's bound by PBS Kids S&P, but he's trying his best!! Good for him!!!
I just let out the most deflated and saddest moan I've ever let out since Season 3 pulled that shit with "Ahead of the Times". And that had Olaf explicitly be mentioned, whereas I...don't have high hopes for this one.
Oh!! Oh, but it's unique because it involves seconds, ooooooh- shut. Just shut. This is not spicing things up any. SHUTTY-UPPY.
"Oh. Maybe it's fine?"
NO YOU I D I O T THE ROOM IS STILL RED ARE YOU C O L O R B L I N D .
Now, see, if she were green, she'd be dead.
And I am very happy I got to make that reference twice in recent memory.
Putting aside the reused spider-cat animation: if they freak out over this, never let 'em step foot in Precinct 13579. God forbid.
(On a side note: Asha really should have re-recorded her "I should say no more often" line. Tonally, it sounds too scripted.)
*violent coughing*
I'm sorry, but I'm finding it hilarious that there exists a gadget that apparently does agents' jobs for them. Like, you could base the entire fucking franchise around this one gadget. It removes any oddness? Has unlimited ammo? Hell of a Mary Sue!
God...Gemma, honey, what are you smoking?
You can hear the record scratching from where you're sitting. It's like Orli brought a gun to the world's craziest rave.
Or, for a more kid-friendly comparison, it's like that "girls at a party looking at you like you're gross" meme image.
"as usual" W-what??? TF do you mean "as usual"??? You've been fitting in since at LEAST the fourth episode, Orli, and you're pretty much part of the precinct's body. There is no "as usual" AND YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT.
Having a villain deliver this message is less impactful than when Mr. Sides delivered the falsehood that "your group has no leader" in "Odd Squad in the Shadows".
Only here, it's even stupider. There's still a falsehood, it's just a stupid lesson for being this far into the season. At least "Shadows" was early on, y'know?
Why does someone not know how to put a coaster down after they've poured some TEA???
DISGUSTANG!!
nice agent, even nicer agent
Yep, PBS Kids execs have their dirty-ass hands all over this and I'm about to go RIP UP A FUCKING FENCE, TEAR UP THE YARD, AND GET A DOG TO SHIT ON IT.
Fuck you, genuinely. You tainted something good. Go to hell.
And your credits for this episode. Looks like Celestia's pet bird made an appearance in here...somewhere.
------------------------------------------
Overall, this was a swing and a miss for Gemma. It's basically taking the plot of "Olympia's Day" and sapping out what made it fun -- not just the wild hallucinations and the sanity slippage we saw along the way, but also replacing the character in question with one that has no motive in life. And that's not even getting into the math lesson torn from such episodes as "6:00 to 6:05" and twisted to include seconds like that means anything of merit in terms of uniqueness. It does not. Oh yes, and the whole "nice agent. not-nice agent" thing. It's watered-down preschool stuff. "Good cop bad cop" would have done fine and gotten past censors just like it did all those years ago. It being British, "constable" would have been a better-suited term. "Good constable, bad constable" would have worked. (Likewise, a slang term could have been used -- "bobby" is apparently popular.)
So yeah. No. Throwing this one in the trash too. Sorry, Gemma, but you need to try harder.
Next up will be "The Odd Ness Monster", which I hear is actually pretty good. At this point I'm at the whim of the fandom when it comes to "is this episode good or not?" I don't think I can trust myself to not keep getting disappointed like this.
Seren out!
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milly alcock , twenty two , cis woman , she + her . announcing ! princess daenya targaryen of house targaryen hailing from king's landing . they are known to be clever & charming but also , immature & reckless across the realm . there are faint whispers that they support house targaryen alongside their house.
𝑩𝑨𝑺𝑰𝑪𝑺 .
birth name : daenya targaryen . pronunciation : dan - nee - uh , tar - gair - ee - uhn . nicknames : daeny . date of birth , age : seventh day of the fourth month , twenty - two . place of birth : king's landing . gender , pronouns : cis woman , she / her . orientation : queer . status : royal princess .
𝑨𝑷𝑷𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑬 .
height : five foot three inches - 160 cm . build : petite build with lithe limbs . hair : silver, falls silkily down her shoulders and until about mid back . eye colour : a light lilac . notable features : button nose, striking silver hair , freckles on the bridge of her nose , a broad smile . faceclaim : milly alcock .
𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀 .
natal chart : aries sun , taurus moon , scorpio rising ( likely has no relevance in this world but i wanted to give it for personality reference ) moral alignment : chaotic good . mbti : entp , the debater . positive traits : clever , determined , loyal , hardworking , charming , kind , bold , passionate . negative traits : inflexible , immature , temperamental , avoidant , envious , impatient , unforgiving , disorganized , possessive , naive . character inspirations : lavagirl ( sharkboy and lavagirl ) , bakugo katsuki ( my hero academia ) , agatha harkness ( agatha all along , wandavision ) , aegon targaryen ii ( house of the dragon ) .
𝑻𝑳𝑫𝑹 . emotional abuse tw , verbal abuse tw ( very mild but just in case )
daenya targaryen was born seventh . eighth truly . not the heir or not the spare , not even after that . or after that . or after that .
perhaps her position should have brought her freedom . and in some ways it did . daeny was able to get away with more than her elder siblings . she was able to slip through the tunnels of the castle and roam king's landing perhaps easier than they would have been able to do so . whilst her elder siblings had responsibilities, daeny's were perhaps fewer . while they were perhaps needed, she was needed less . she tried to revel in that . tried to enjoy it . tried not to remember that it was perhaps proof that she was of little consequence .
indifference was a blessing and a curse . daeny tried to see it that way . seeing it as only a curse would only make it taste more bitter than it already did .
but indifference was better than hatred . than disdain or fear . she knew that to be true . she'd seen as much . the dreams had taught her that . perhaps not directly, but through experience . through the lessons that followed them .
the first time she'd told her mother of her dreams she'd disregarded them . it was to be suspected, she supposed . her mother had barely paid attention to her then anyways . not the heir . not the spare . not even after that .
it stung all the same . daeny tried again and again, and each dismissal hurt all the same .
little did she know that dismissal would hurt less than what came next .
the dream was real . it came to fruition . daeny was shocked . awed, truly . the feeling she'd had in her stomach that this was important was right . she was right . and she was elated for it . perhaps she shouldn't have been . what had happened was terrible . but she was right . she was right and she was special for it wasn't she ? her mother would see that . she had to see that .
her mother disagreed .
doombringer . words that cut deeper than dismissal . than simply bring ignored . as they were spat from her mother's mouth daeny found her smile quickly fading . no, this was not what she wanted . it was so much worse .
after all, daeny didn't make the vision come true . she just saw it . she only saw it and she even said so but no one would listen . this wasn't her fault . it wasn't .
ill fated . black omen . cursed child . her mother was a righteous woman . a strong one . the second queen of westeros, a woman more formidable than most could even imagine . daeny never thought her mother's fear of oncoming doom , of the unknown would be so potent . that it would result in a fear of her .
that smile ! do you take joy in it ? in the suffering you see ? the fear made her mother's back rigid, and her eyes wild . daeny preferred the indifference .
daeny knew she could do better . that she would do better . she would show her mother the truth . that her dreams were a good thing . that she was a good thing .
but every dream was the same when she saw them . bad omens . suffering . hurt . she never saw anything miraculous . not anything ... beautiful or serene . not once . nothing to bring to her mother , to prove to her that she brought more than doom . that she could bring good too .
but daeny was nothing if not determined . if not stubborn . scroll upon scroll was read, book upon book was consumed . she could be good . she would be good . she would show her . she would .
or perhaps she would leave . it was a dream daeny indulged in often . not the heir, not the spare, not even after that . she would not be missed, surely . life would go on without her and she could see the world perhaps . she and shrykos will do it . the moment she's big enough . the moment they can .
until now the tunnels will have to be enough . king's landing and it's joys will half to be enough .
it isn't quite enough truly, but daeny has been living on not quite enough her whole life . she can stomach a little more .
𝑴𝑰𝑺𝑪 .
daeny is my doomed child . desperately wants to be good , like DESPERATELY wants to prove herself not to be the villain her mother sees her to be, and yet she is doomed to never do so as she only gets dreams of tragedy . so she will suffer forever, rip, but it is what it is dkjds anyways, in the running for mom's least favourite fr but other than that pretty well liked over all ? beloved by the people and by the castle staff, genuinely kind and quite free spirited . has a desperate need to prove herself and can be painfully, stupidly stubborn, but has the best intentions honestly . very possessive of the people who she sees as her own, like does NOT like to share and perhaps that's on being a princess sdkjs so she's a little spoiled in that way and can be a bit immature with those she feels comfortable with . but she's very clever and works extremely hard for just a crumb of maternal affection but it is likely never coming queen give it UP DKJDS has no interest in the crown or the rift between the targaryens and velaryons, like she would be neutral if she could be because if it was up to her she'd be dipping ! she'd be offset !!! but unfortunately shrykos is a babie dragon and so she's got to wait a little longer . do i hc that her mother kind of disregarded her even more bc her dragon egg didn't hatch on time ? ya . ya i do . anyways , she's pookie actually ty for listening to my ted talk .
𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺 . just something to spring off of for plotting things .
someone she consistently drags through the town with her , a childhood friend who she would die for ,a favourite sibling bc ofc , someone she can actually talk to her dreams about without feeling deeply self conscious and judged ( bb is traumatized ) , someone who looks out for her a little cause she's just a bit naive , a crush she has a court , and literally anything else ok thx < 3
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Jumu'ah Sohbet: 6 December 2024
We are blessed with attuned spiritual perception points in belonging to our Tariqa (Sufi spiritual school). Additionally, your Ammu is ever grateful that her condition as an accident survivor enables us all to reflect on some of those rich learnings, with her increased sense of Allah consciousness:
Shukran Ya Allah (Divine gratitude) and Bismillah (and with that Divine name, we begin)...
#1. During a local Jumu'ah Sohbet, our beloved heartsmith Shaykh Nishaat declared that there are many ways in which we learn in Sufism. However, that is contingent on having awareness and being present in the moment. We must, therefore, engender an awareness within us as we travel on this sulook (spiritual path). In reality, our thoughts and minds are all over the place, where in any given moment, we are thinking of multiple things. We want and plan many things. But, where is Allah in all of that?!
As we have come to know, most of our life lessons are subtle. Again, your Ammu's former intrigue with what she always missed in herself, subtlety! We don't get direct instructions. They are often subtle messages that we may think apply to others. That is why if we are not aware or present, we miss it. It is just as I couldn't truly understand Sufism's constant focus on the nafs (lower-self / ego). Our heartsmith rightly declared that if we are not willing to work on our nafs, nobody else will work on it for us! The truth is that we humans have to face the music for ourselves. I now see and study the nafs as the millionth shade of grey, which represents the potential darkness within me foremost that can darken Allah's Nur (Divine light).
#2. Thereafter, our beloved olden and golden fellow murid, Shaykha Sheila, conducted last week's Saturday Sohbet (spiritual conversation). She reflected on Shaykh Taner's Sohbet from the past, which fortuitously synchonised various bits of knowledge that I had acquired as a former muhib (regular attendee) and subsequent murid (follower of our Sufi Tariqa).
That included;
i. The essential elements of Sufi Psychology in understanding the seven levels of the nafs. Our Tariqa doesn't actually consider the understanding of these levels as a critical teaching within Sufism because of its complex nature, as each level can contain all seven levels within it,
ii. With affirmations of the Qur'anic verses that support these levels,
iii. The connection of human history to our sulooks by highlighting the Prophet that foremost represented the epitome of success on that level of nafs.
iv. The reigning name of Allah, which provides the outer and inner connection per level of the nafs, and lastly,
v. The reasoned justification for the purposes of the social structure of a Tariqa; including male or female Shaykh figures, Wakil, Khalifa, and Murid.
Most strikingly for me was when she reflected that tasawwuf (an ethical code that is also referred to as Sufism) is actually a constant state of surrender where one puts nafs in its proper place, because we need it away from and in order to learn from, our spiritual hearts - which is the sultan (authorotative power) within. If a murid chooses not to proceed, then that becomes their maqam (permanent spiritual station). The insaane kamil is the perfected human being who has surrendered to Allah completely, having mastered their nafs. Insha'Allah, Ya Rabbal 'Alameen (as You will, oh Lord of the worlds)!
#3. During a Sunday Learning Circle was a refreshing and poetic elucidation of the role of a spiritual mentor to a student, AKA Shaykh / Shaykha, to a murid by our heartsmith, Shaykh Nishaat. The spiritual mentor's role is to be a subtle gardener of a student's heart and primarily focused on working with the seeds they bring to their garden. I was genuinely surprised by the emphasis on the wholesome potential that the idea of seeds in a student's garden creates rather than the weeds (nafs) that they are taught to manage in it.
He affirmed my delayed be'yat (spiritual allegiance) to our Tariqa because he said that when a student is ready and yearning, the spiritual mentor appears. As an agent of self-reflection regarding needed transformation in the student's life, they become a mirror and not a magician. Spiritual growth is inherently messy business that contextualised why gentle humour is often drawn on, '...laughter opens doors that logic keeps shut.'
A spiritual mentor is a servant of a student's spiritual heart as they help one to uncover one's capabilities. The student's spiritual growth is contingent on their own desire for it. Success in the eyes of both spiritual mentor and student is seeing themselves walk confidently on their own while fully connected with Allah, insha'Allah! 🌿
In conclusion, while the end of the week is designed to be a winding down of our beings. Alhamdulillah that we're spiritually renewed while we physically and emotionally wind down. Shukran Ya Allah for palpable synchronicity in our existence!
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Why is the guilty punished according to Islam?
In punishment, various viewpoints have been prevalent throughout the history and the goals of punishments have been determined in the light of those viewpoints. In the West, approximately until the 18th Century, the goal of punishments was just intimidation, revenge, and exposure. Burning, crucifying, amputation, bone breaking, burning with a hot iron bar, etc. were among the mostly seen ways of punishment.
Moreover, in those times, punishments were not suitable for crimes. The death penalty could sometimes be applied for even the simplest crimes. According to the British Criminal Code, up to 200 crimes were punished with the death penalty until the 18th Century. According to the French Criminal Code, on the other hand, 215 different crimes were punished with the death penalty. Furthermore, many of those were petty crimes.
Gradually, the aim of personal revenge was replaced by social and divine revenge. In social revenge, intimidation is sought; in divine revenge, the atonement of the crime. Since the 18th Century, thinkers in the West have struggled with the aim of revenge in punishments and tried to replace it with other aims.
AIMS OF PUNISHMENT IN ISLAM
In Islamic Jurisprudence, the aim of punishments is not to tyrannize over, to torture or to take revenge on the culprit; that is because Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was not sent to terrorize or to oppress people, but was sent as a mercy to the worlds.
As is understood from religious pillars (Quranic verses and Hadiths) and from the expressions of mujtahids-Islamic scholars, the effects Islam aims at in punishments are as follows:
1. To prevent crime in general
In practicing punishments in Islamic Jurisprudence, the functions of serving as a lesson and of preventing committing crime are essential. In other words, Islamic punishments have such a nature as to prevent crimes before committed and to serve for others as a lesson so that their tendency to commit crime is broken.
For this reason, big punishments in Islam are carried out in public. It is closely concerned with human psychology that punishments are carried out openly in public.
The functions of serving as a lesson and of preventing crimes are achieved in the best way by carrying out the punishment in public. Thus, the communitys feelings of hatred for crimes and of blaming are always kept awake. Nobody wants to be like the culprit and to fall into such a shameful situation before the public. And this feeling breaks the tendency toward crimes.
2. Personal Prevention
In Islamic punishments, it is also aimed at the betterment of the culprit. Punishments are carried out to improve the morals of the culprit and to ameliorate him by training so that he will not commit crimes again.
In Islam, punishing is like a fathers training his child, or a doctors treating his patient; it is not to tyrannize over, to torture or to take revenge on the culprit.
3. Atonement
The punishment of the crime is atonement, which is the requisite for the absolute justice. Punishment provides absolute justice by getting the culprit to compensate for and to pay back the equivalent of the crime. The wronged party is thus satisfied and calmed down; security and peace are maintained in society. For this reason, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said in one of his Hadiths:
A punishment carried out in order to realize justice over earth is better for the people of earth than 30 mornings with rain.
Ibn Hanbal, Musnad, II, 402.
It is a requisite of justice to respond to a wrongdoer with the wrong he perpetrated. In Quran, this point is highlighted this way:
The recompense of an evil deed can only be an evil equal to it; but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from God. Surely He does not love the wrongdoers.
(Ash-Shura Surah, 42:40)
As is seen, it is just to punish a wrongdoer according to the measure he deserves. However, it is a special virtue for the offended to forgive the culprit.
In punishment, fittingness is also required.
In other words, the punishment given must be fit to and suitable for the crime committed. It would be a source of cruelty and unease in community for the punishment to be heavier in comparison to the crime, not of justice. It is also a great favor and mercy on the part of the culprit for the punishment to be atonement, because, according to many of Islamic scholars, the punishment of a crime suffered in the world covers the sins of this crime and lifts the punishment of this sin in the Hereafter.
About this topic, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
Whoever commits one of the crimes and gets its punishment, this is his atonement.
It is because the main aim in punishments is betterment that if the culprit shows regret having committed the crime, generally the punishment is not carried out. That is because in this situation the essential aim of punishment is realized.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said to someone who himself came and confessed that he committed burglary: I do not think that you committed burglary.
In the same way, when someone among the Companions named Maiz came to the Prophet and confessed with a deep remorse that he committed adultery, the Prophet said to him: Think carefully. You may not have committed adultery, may have just kissed or something like that. And he thus wanted him to withdraw his confession. However, Maiz insisted on his statement. And he was eventually sentenced to the punishment of adultery.
Here I want to emphasize something; in both of these two instances, the crime is not certain, because there is no one who saw or knew that the crime was committed. The culprit himself confesses and declares his crime out of penitence. Without the declaration of his, it is not legally possible to attribute the crime to him.
For this reason, when he saw that they were remorseful for what they did, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) did not want them to confess their crimes themselves and make them legally proven. He saw it sufficient for them just to repent and ask for forgiveness themselves.
However, in a case of crime, which is proven for sure with proofs and witnesses without the need for the culprits declaration, the situation is different. The culprits feelings of repentance are not important here
For in punishments given to the crimes, whose retributions are certain according to the Sharia, the interests of the community are essential, more than those of the culprit. In order for such grave crimes not to proliferate in the community and not to cause mischief and unease, whatever the condition of the culprit, the punishment of the legally proven crime is carried out, except for atonement, though. That is because in atonement, the parents of the murdered have the authority to forgive the culprit. And in Quran, this forgiveness is encouraged.
However, in crimes whose punishments are left to the discretion of the judge, the condition of the culprit is essential. If the judge decides that the culprit shows signs of betterment, he may cancel or alleviate the punishment. Surely, the interests of the public must also be kept in mind.
#allah#quran#revert#islam#muslim#help#reverthelp#prayer#god#muslimah#dua#religion#new to islam#new muslim#new revert#new convert#new muslimah#how to convert to islam#welcome to islam
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.... and you're NOT gonna tell us about the Shadowgast Playlist? Please 🫴, hand it over.
I said in my original post this was my toxic trait... nonetheless I am SO glad someone took the bait 😈
I'm not going to post the link because I value my spotify privacy and also I have an embarrassing username that no one needs to know about. However, since you asked nicely (and let's be honest, I wasn't expecting anyone to care! so thank you!), I will share ✨ my personal top 5 shadowgast songs ✨ with a bit of context for each.
If you're just here to roast my music taste, bear in mind... I said toxic trait. Proceed at your own risk.
1. Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce
"If I could make days last forever / If words could make wishes come true / I'd save every day like a treasure and then / Again, I would spend them with you..."
This one has two meaning imo: first, early-campaign Caleb wishing he could change the past to save his parents' lives; later, Essek wishing he had more time to spend with Caleb. The original version is beautiful, but there is also a cover by Yungblud (yes, it's on the Hobbs & Shaw soundtrack) that's badass but a very different vibe.
2. Lilith by Halsey
"I'm perfection when it comes to first impressions / I romanticize and then I get to stressing / Big brain like I'm teaching at a lesson / Baby, it's a blessing..."
Every time this song comes on I legit yell ESSEK ANTHEM! because it is. This is the Hot Villain theme song. The beat is so sexy. The lyrics are on point ("I am disgusting / I've been corrupted / And by now I don't need not help to be destructive"). The vibes are just immaculate.
3. No Halo by Brockhampton
"Went to church for the hell of it, stumbled in drunk as shit / Been going through it again / Been talking to myself, wondering who I am / Been thinking I am better than Him..."
Look. I could write an entire essay about this one song. Wizard hubris, depression, and the crisis of faith Essek goes through when the Nein find out about his betrayal. Also, for those who theorize Essek is the unwilling chosen of the Luxon - he could, in fact, be "God's special mess".
4. X&Y by Coldplay
"I dive in at the deep end / You become my best friend / I want to love you but I don't know if I can / I know something is broken / And I'm trying to fix it / Trying to repair it / Any way I can..."
Two characters who both think they are terrible people that don't deserve love, trying to be better and trying to better each other? And they fall in love? And they're narrative foils? No one is doing it like them! (Plus the chorus "You and me are drifting into outer space" just screams ~wizards in the star room~.)
5. All The Stars by Kendrick Lamar feat. SZA (album version)
"Tell me what you gon' do to me / Confrontation ain't nothing new to me / You can bring a bullet, bring a sword, bring a morgue / But you can't bring the truth to me..."
I don't know how this song manages to be both broody and uplifting at the same time, but it is and it's perfection. It's the grimness of reality and the hope for the future, the refrain of "All the stars are closer" symbolizing all the possibilities that are now within reach.
And oh boy, I don't have time to write about the whole playlist but if you've made it this far, here are some bonus mini listicles because this is my Roman Empire 😌
Entire playlist of just shadowgast-coded Hozier songs:
Arsonist's Lullabye
In The Woods Somewhere
De Selby (pt. 2)
Someone New
Like Real People Do
Moment's Silence
From Eden
All My Homies Hate Trent Ikithon songs:
Heathens by Twenty One Pilots
Eat Your Young by Hozier
Buzzkill by Mothica
Another Brick In The Wall, pt. II by Pink Floyd
My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark by Fall Out Boy
Other ships? In my shadowgast playlist? It's more likely than you think:
The Cave by Mumford & Sons (widobrave)
Cringe by Matt Maeson (widojest)
Tessellate by alt-J (blumendrei)
EDM wizard songs if you're into that sort of thing (I am):
Time Stops by Virtual Riot
I'd Love To Change The World (Matstubs Remix) by Jetta
I Could Be Anything by the Glitch Mob feat. Elohim
New Eyes by Echos
Keep in mind this is just a handful of songs out of like a hundred, so I welcome you to give me the benefit of the doubt and fill in the rest of the playlist in your mind with whatever makes me seem cool to you.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk, I am sorry it took me four days to write this... 😅
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