#less than an hour lmao i just needed to get it out | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 3 months ago

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I don't have a lot of energy these days [because of The Horrors] so I'm looking at my day and my priorities and trying to plan how I'm going to spend what energy I have, because I do need to be able to rest and relax but there are also things that need doing and that is a careful balance for me.

I managed to [mostly] clean the kitchen last night so I've kicked it out of the priority list until next weekend. Unfortunately the living room, bathroom, bedroom, and my office all need cleaning too. I think of the priorities, my office and the bedroom are the most important to me, so I'll probably push the living room and bathroom until at least Friday.

There's also the laundry. I don't have any clean clothes and as we're moving into winter I need to be more rigid about getting that done because days where the clothes can be dried on the line will be more limited. So I definitely need to wash an outfit or two and hang them up in the next hour.

That's already a really busy day, so I'll probably cut it there. But it's definitely going to still leave me a lot of work this week. Half my cleaning, at least one more round of laundry, settling dog food for the next couple of weeks, planting the fall/winter greens, doing some set up work on my computer, work on some writing projects, cleaning out the fridge, and patching some worn clothes. My work week isn't insane atm, but it is definitely limiting. Right now I have 6+4+0+4+2+5+5= 25 non work/non-survival needs (sleep, food, shower, etc) hours available each week. I need to figure out a regukar distribution of these that means everything is getting done and I still have an hour a day to myself as often as possible. I think it's probably not realistic to give myself more than an hour a day for free time/fun, which is a bit unfortunate because I've found in the past that my floor tends to be getting 2-3hrs of free time most days because of how I deal with transition and decision-making.

25-7 [1hr per day] is 18 hrs, so I just need to decide where and how to distribute those in order to keep pace with things.

Lets say the garden needs 3hrs per week, the laundry needs 4 hours (specifically 2 sets of 2 morning/early afternoon hours), the cleaning needs an hour a day to get through a maintenance clean of the house, and 3 hours once a week to work down any deep cleaning that's built up. Which is....already three more hours than I actually have each week. So I guess I'll make a plan to work in the garden for 20-40min of 4 of my free hours each week.

It really doesn't leave me any wiggle room. Only about 4 hours a week that isn't explicitly allotted to something that needs doing, which means there will probably me a lot of weeks where I only get an hour or so at best across the whole thing for free time. I guess I've had a hard time accepting that at this point, having actual time for myself or a time-intensive project is only available if I've taken a day off work. I love my job, but it's ... not comfortable to realize that it's the only love in my life I actually have time for anymore.

I think that's probably why I end up here so much. It's this mindless little way of zoning out into my own head, dissociating away from the exhaustion, for a few minutes at a time. I keep thinking I want to use this space differently, make it more if the things I enjoy. But I think what I really want is just to actually have the time and energy to do things I love that take work. I keep crying a few times every day and I couldn't figure out why, but like

I dunno

Why **wouldn't** I cry a little every day? It's the closest I'm getting to actual emotional release or relaxation in my life. We'd probably all cry. Heck. A lot of us probably DO, capitalism being what it is.

I guess I'm starting to wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing. What is there left for me to sacrifice to this life? What is actually serving me about not just letting myself go up like a fireball and take my surroundings with me? What in the ever loving fuck am I fighting this hard for?

All I ever want, all I want now, is to be able to live. To really, actually live. How does wanting to live bring you this close to killing yourself, whether on accident or on purpose? What am I actually doing that is LIVING and what am I doing that is FACILITATION of living? It can't all be facilitation, or I'm not actually facilitating fuck all.

I'm 30 goddamn years old and I need to figure out what it looks like to actually love my life. I fundamentally refuse to zombify myself like this for everyone else around me forever.

#i really wanted to believe that if i just sat down and did the math i'd be able to figure it out.#but there is literally not enough time in the day for me to do all this.#i suppose i could sleep less. it's...not great for me to get less than 9 hrs a day #but i could probably pull it off for brief stints #a week on a week off or something #get an extra two hours a day that way #and then of course there's my old go to #i could just stop eating or taking care of myself #lord knows it's my well-being that restri ts my time more than anything else #and if i work myself to death like mom did instead of committing suicide at least the life insurance pays out #in case anyone gives wifey inheritance trouble #i already don't eat until dinner so that part won't give me a TON of extra time #but an hour a day at the end of the night to write does sound lovely so it might be worth it #on the weeks i sleep less i could use my 2 extra hours a day to do ingredient prep so that wifey's food doesn't go to waste as much #maybe even work on the garden and the yard's facilities a bit. i have a few projects that need time and attention so those'd fot in #if i cut my pain meds too i could put an extra $50/week back in my budget and i could use that for project supplies and emergency funds #god even thinking about this is making me so tired.#i don't know what this will leave of me #i've been doing this so long now #feels like the last time i remember having a consistent hour to myself every day was my BA sophomore year #and that was the first time too lmao #i'd spent high school waking up at 3am every day after going to bed at 12am because I needed to do my hw in the mornings #my bus left at 7:30am and i had to do all my paper assignments - make myself lunch for the day - wash dishes/tidy the kitchen - and THEN #i could finally make sure i had my shit together for the bus and maybe nap for 5min #then i didn't get home from school until 4pm and i had to fix the kitchen from whatever my parents did before i got back #then make dinner for the family #then clean the living room from whatever the pets had dome all day #then take the dog for her nightly walk and take a shower #and usually sometime after dinner around 9pm I would get permission to run to my room and try to get a head start on my hw before 11pm #that was my lights out curfew so it gave me a blessed single guaranteed hour to do something for me.....assuming i could stay conscious

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago

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ignore if you don't give one for my streams Anyways potential stream schedule goin forward Just Until I Finish Judgement

thursday i'll stream judgement from like. 3:30 ~ 7:30

friday'll be 4:30 ~ 8:30

saturdays will be the usual 3:30 ~ . fuckin whenever LMAO art stream i do

#snap chats #ew i just remembered i have my spanish exam tomorrow im going to throw up #anyway i thought i'd stream today but the more i thought of it the more i wanted to throw up #im already really drowsy and plus i dont want to be stressed under the time crunch in-between class #plus assembling and disassembling The Tower is nerve racking i dont need something breaking while i rush to class LOL #thursday'll be chill since i only have my morning class then and friday i only have The One class. and its friday.#i'm putting a strict time limit on gameplay days since i want to try to record these and i think four hours is just enough time #firstly to watch but also i think it's small enough to be able to be saved onto my computer #idk we'll see how it plays out. i think the usb could only record about two hours before it ran out of space #and my computer's space As Of Now is about twice the size of that usb #i'm gonna try to clear up more space but yeah thats the deal for right now #four hours is by no means a lot of gameplay time- much less than id like LMAO but we do what we gotta #maybe i'll do a similar schedule for IW except instead of thurs being a game day i'll make it sunday #i have a night class thursday next semester unless i edit my schedule at some point #honestly i might cut out art streams during IW... lemme speed through the shit so i can draw stuff for it LOL #but we'll get there when we get there

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tardis--dreams · 8 months ago

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Some of those doctors make hating oat milk their entire personality. I hate them. Cannot pretend to find them funny or like i give a shit. Fucking pretentious assholes

#also my colleague (the girl i had my shift with) is the exact opposite of me in all aspects. asked me if I'd ever worked in customer service #because i couldn't care less about being fake friendly to assholes and don't care if they like the service or not #like bitch those people don't have any other choice but drink our fucking coffee it's not like I'm competing with anyone #or like they pay us in any way. i get paid for doing the dumb work i have to do not for stroking some dumb ass doctors' egos #they come out of their rooms once an hour to get coffee and we have the cups on the table and i wouldn't even Think of #HANDING them the cups and smiling sweetly at them and asking 'coffee? tea?? :))'#I'll just assume these grown adults will get their stupid coffee or tea when they want some. it's not like they don't know where it is #(and i AM friendly and smile when someone is coming in our direction but why the fuck do you need to get so disgustingly friendly with them #if someone held up a cup asking if i.want some coffee I'd leave immediately even if i came just for coffee. it's creepy)#anyway. she's nice. I'm not.#there's normal people who will get their coffee and maybe ask if the milk in the little jug is cow milk to which I'll happily reply 'yes #:)'. then there's the other people who see the oat milk and make it clear they are the most insufferable people on the planet #(and i pity their patients so much. not much to choose from i guess but if i had that as a doctor I'd happily just die)#like everyone who took oatmilk could do it without making a fuss about the cow milk on the table. the cow milk lovers could never #'the oat milk is in front of the actual milk. this is unacceptable. i hate such healthy bullshit' lol okay #'OAT milk?? I'll leave this to the horses! THANK GOD you have actual milk!'#my favorite was the one who really took personal offense with its sheer presence. as if it had killed half of his patients lmao #'we had 50 patients with xyz problem. ALL of them drink oat milk. they cannot see the connection. it's really unhealthy'#at this point i just said i didn't care and stopped paying attention and he started complaining to his doctor colleague about how #oat milk is advertised to be healthy and how it's actually the opposite and i just find that very funny compared to the first comment #from that one guy who doesn't like such healthy bullshit. you guys need to find a consensus on the oatmilk issue i think. no one takes you #seriously if you contradict yourself like this. also i couldn't care less about the healthiness of the milk alternative of my choice. bitch.#next week I'll end up killing someone. i hope they all die from their cow milk. (but not the ones who took cow milk and didn't say anything #about the oat milk. they can continue living as they didn't annoy me)#void screams #some of these doctors were actually quite nice (most of them even). one even brought an applicant to us telling her to get some coffee #(which we are not allowed to give to applicants. but i don't care. I'd rather they get something than some of the asshole jury members #who hate oat milk (which is not the issue. the issue is them making it everybody else's issue that they don't like oat milk))

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seventh-district · 6 months ago

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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold

#Seven.txt #writing stuff #thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe #wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life #i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever #i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel #nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao #it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts #anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months #i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff #not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck #so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally #the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit #and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better #so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic #then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot #i also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again #and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline #so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done #but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy

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campingwiththecharmings · 2 years ago

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no but, the quickest way to get me to not call you back with any sense of urgency is to call me multiple times in one day.

#negl i am a petty bitch and i have no problem making you fucking wait if you choose to annoy the shit out of me #yes this is the about the same lady i complained about earlier lmao #the one who isn't even a client #for some reason she seems to think we have nothing else to do but be at her beck and call idk what her deal is #but she's calling me like every hour #leaving messages like 'hi this is really important i need x y and z'#and i'm just like 'ik i already talked to you???'#i told her i'd get back to her #like less than two hours ago #chill tf out bitch damn #ignore me

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poorlittlevampire · 8 hours ago

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good morning

#she’s not hiding anymore and she’s getting really confident!!#we were told not to let her hide if possible but i dont think she’s trying to hide i think its just warm and soft in the closet like this #so i dont wanna move her #i bought her a bed and i laid out blankets for her but she wants to sleep here lmao #i miss my babyboy every day and she is absolutely not a replacement or anything like that but having a cat in the house again has been #really good for everyone #its been less than 24 hours and everyone has been in such a good mood bc of her #i was debating for a while if we needed to wait longer for a new cat but i think its a good time #everyone loves her already

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phagodyke · 9 months ago

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this assay is so fucking fake......

#same one ive been working on for like 3 months. every other assay ive trained on took me a couple goes to get but ive done this one ~45x #and i keep getting 2 good runs and then 1 fail. which SUCKS bc i need 3 passes in a row to sign off on it #and its so sensitive that changing even tiny things like using a different brand same volume beaker. or a 0.5cm longer flea #anyway i had another 2 good runs this week so this was my 3rd but bc its a friday afternoon im tired as fuck and keep making dumb mistakes #like overstirring it + one of my samples leaked which is soooo embarrassing bc ive already had to ask for more before bc its taken me-#almost 50 fucking attempts already #anyway. hour and a half into prep and im at the most crucial time sensitive part which is pipetting thr enzyme into the substrate #and i manage to do it all w even time spacing (u have to replicate the exact same pace at the end of the timer or it doesnt work)#and then realise id picked up a different identical model pipette that was set to half the volume i was meant to put in FUUUUCK #by that point i was like fuck it im almost 2 hours in and nothing else to do the rest of the day. so ill work around it + see what happens #i figured well its half the volume. so if i add the same half volume again at the 5 minute mark and leave it for 12.5 instead of 10 mins #then itll hydrolyse the substrate to the same degree. IN THEORY in practice this stuff never works bc of error margins etc #bearing in mind this js like 30 seconds of thought bc it took me a couple mins to realise what i did #but the thing abt working in a lab is u make these split second decisions constantly bc everything is so time sensitive #so u have to be quick thinking on ur feet #anyway long story short got to the end of the 3 hour process. which i was carrying out v sloppily bc the chances of it working were-#slim by that point lmao. but lo and behold it was completely fucking fine. all cvs less than 5% and averages <5% of spec #which is awesome bc it means after THREE MONTHS and like. 45x3 whats that AT LEAST 135 HOURS OF FOCUSED TIME ON IT #not counting attempts i gave up on halfway thru bc id alreaady fucked them up bad #i can FINALLY sign off on it lmfao. but im just so mad like why does it play these mind games with me. it shouldnt have worked #whatever chemistry is such a fickle stupid science. anyway wahoo weekend time baby #gorgeous weather here + im gonna get pizza on the way home...... maybe life doesnt suck sometimes 😇#mutuals if ur still at work stay strong soldiers #.diaries

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futuremercifulnerd · 1 year ago

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New 2024 resolution just dropped - Stop playing overwatch because its fucking garbage now and 90% of the ppl that play it are braindead

#i could literally make an hour long video on why this game pisses me off now and how sad it is as someone whos played since day one #im not gonna shut up about it actually lmao cause someone had the audacity to message me thru playstation #i called out team diff cause my team sucked and the tank had the nerve to message me saying #“its qp the mercy gameplay i just witnessed was garbage dont be toxic unless you have the gameplay to match it up”#first of all i was mercy for like a minute and switched off after i used my ult and i couldnt stay alive cause no one was doing damage #secondly the TANK who refused to ever group up is talking shit to ME about ganeplay?#you walked away from the team when the payload was inches away from landing on point and us losing #the enemy team had a sombra and even if they didnt you shpuldnt be leaving when its that close #how many times do i need to spam group up?#how many times do the other teammates have to join in spamming group up for you to listen lmao #i get not acting like qp is comp but theres a certain point where qp isnt an excuse for YOUR behavior and the way ppl react to it #you cant actively throw or play like shit or refuse to try anything different and then get mad at ppl getting mad at you #me picking mercy WAS my chill trying to have fun option lol she is the furthest thing from my main #you lost the right to claim “its just qp” when you deliberately walked away from the team+died on your own then complained about heals lol #anyways i just sent back “not the tank you cant fathom grouping up lmao check yourself” and blocked them #cause im not gonna entertain your bullshit #im 100% quick to block online cause i dont need to deal with shit i dont want to lmao getting blocked =/= you won the arguement btw #ppl really cant fathom others just refusing to mess with crap they dont need to or want to #in a other match the enemy lucio was just diving and doing no heals (seriously he had less than 2k heals at the end)#and their teammates called them out and their respinse was just “quickplay” and their team went “so you cant heal in qp???”#and that interaction sums up my opinion on a lot of shit lol #also the fact that a majority of the ppl who play this game atp act like this is a huge reason why ppl call out bullshit so readily #like fuck dude we played an arcade game where the enemy had two snipers who were def soft hacking at the very least #whats the point?????

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delllamortes · 1 year ago

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can money just fall out of the sky or something 😭

#the pay i just got was a whopping $397 #and my account was already at -$300 #and it’s already all used up bc i put $200 on one credit card (which doesn’t even cover the entire minimum payment)#then $87 on another credit card that i’ve been using more than i wanted to #and then $100 as spending money until i get my last paycheck from my second job next week #which is also going to be less than $400 #i left $10 in my account just in case any overdraft fees come out before my $200 payment comes out #bc i do not need nsf fees on top of everything else rn #i’m just so fucking depressed about money all the time like this is insane #getting two jobs was supposed to help but they both barely gave me any hours lmao #so nothing actually changed #can’t wait for my next pay to also be half gone the day i get it to pay the rest of that minimum payment 🥰#also still owe $60 on my phone bill and $82 for another credit card’s minimum payment #the phone bill will be overdue but i’ve still got a few weeks before that other minimum payment is due at least #my pay 2 weeks from now will actually be pretty good but until then i’m fucked #shush sar

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kurthorton-moving · 1 year ago

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took a chance on a laundromat thats way closer to my house (10 min walk instead of 30) but only takes cash. The chance was it turns out a mistake

#i only got $20 out cause it never costs me that much for a load this size at the other one #and uh. $6 wash per machine and $4 dry for 20 mins #so i have spent $12 on these tiny machines to wash less than half my laundry it literally fit my work uniform some towels and Nothing Else #and i have to spend the last 8 on dryers and if they dont get dry in 20 mins thats too bad!#so now im faced with the dilema. add an extra 2 hours to this laundry run by going to the other one immediately after this to wash the rest #and maybe dry more of these if needed #OR do it after work tomorrow when i already feel exhausted #this is so upsetting wkshdkf its not a big deal but also $20 to barely manage to wash my uniform and a few towels is so #i only have another $20 until tuesday so its gonna be the rest of my money to do the rest of my laundry #and i just. do not have the money for this shit lmao #also this place doesnt have wifi and my usual place does #god i had to go out of my way to get cash in coins too this is very upsetting actually #also their machines automatically dispense detergent which i.. really do not like #ive been using specifically laundry sheets i hate liquid detergent #but its too late to back out now and thats put me in a Mood lmao

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sturnsdarling · 21 days ago

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cherry cola

you ask for Matts assistance in dying your hair red

vibe check: fluff, established relationship, good vibes all round really

900 words

A/N: this is completely self indulgent bc i literally just dyed my hair red lmao (i wrote this like two months ago now lol)

love and cigs, merc

You were sat, cross legged on a stool in front of his bathroom counter, in nothing but your bra and a pair of his boxers. Matt was behind you, clad in only grey plaid pyjama bottoms.

You’d wanted to dye your hair red for so long, and after bringing it up to Matt only one time, he became obsessed with the idea.

That day, he went and got you an entire selection of shades of red to choose from, a decision he made after standing in front of the hair dye section at the beauty supply store for 45 minutes and having less than no clue what the fuck he was doing.

“this is gonna look so good, princess” Matt said, eyes trained on the way the red made your eyes glow, “you’re gonna look like a hex girl” His eyes lit up as the realisation hit him.

You giggled, rolling your eyes at his statement, “you’re ridiculous”

“maybe we should get you a red dress and some fangs” Matt said, ignoring your insult and allowing his mind to wonder

“I was thinking more Ariel over hex girl but, i’m down for a little role play” You smirked, looking at him through the reflection.

“Ariel is hot” Matt said, nodding slightly in agreement

You jokingly raised your brows and nodded back to him, earning a chuckle from Matt’s lips as a smile spread across your face.

Matt continued to work the dye into your hair, making sure to get every inch of it and trying his best not to get it on your skin. His concentration was adorable, and you couldn’t help but stare at him as he worked across your scalp with perfect, caring movements.

Matt was literally the perfect boyfriend. Anything you wanted to do, he supported you and paid for it. New nails? he’s got it. New piercing? he’ll come with you. New tattoo? he’ll get one too. everything you do is gold to him, and he wants nothing more than to be able to treat you like a princess, it is your nickname after all.

“i think you’re all set, beautiful” Matt said, doing a final scan of your head as he took off his gloves.

“thanks, Matty” you cheesed, craning your head backwards to look at him, pursing your lips.

Matt smiled and leaned down, pressing his lips against yours for a moment from his towering position over you.

You hummed into the kiss, and Matt pulled away with a smile, his hands coming to your shoulders as you returned to looking at him in the reflection.

He rubbed your shoulders softly, pressing his thumbs into your skin before leaning down once more and pressing a soft, open mouth kiss onto the curve of your neck.

you couldn’t help but smile.

about half and hour had passed, and after a nice warm shower and matts assistance in rinsing your hair out, you were once more sat in front of the mirror, watching as Matt blowdried your now red hair with intense concentration.

Almost immediately after you had started dating, he told you that 'you never needed to do anything ever again', meaning that every strenuous day to day task you did simply to exist as a person, Matt was now going to do for you. that included drying your hair. as much as it was for you, a part of you knew he loved it, he loved looking after you, feeling needed, so despite your huffing and puffing about 'being able to do it yourself', you always let him do things for you.

Your hair was shiny and soft, and Matt was captivated by the colour, drying your hair for just a bit longer than he needed to so he could keep his hands in it.

"all done" Matt said, turning off the dryer and placing it down on the counter with a boyish smile.

"ugh, I love it so much" you said with a squeal, faffing about with your parting in the mirror, leaning forward slightly and causing Matts baggy tee to slip down your bare shoulder.

"it looks so good, princess" Matt smiled, unable to take his eyes off you as you gawked at yourself like a cockatoo

you cheesed at Matt in the reflection, watching as he absent-mindedly licked his lips at the sight of you. Turning on the balls of your feet to face him, you caught his eye-line, blinking up at him like a cat.

"you like it?" you said, fishing for compliments.

Matt licked his lips once more, feeling his chest tighten slightly at the way you were looking at him, "mhm" he nodded, "I love it, red is definitely your colour"

Matt brought his hands to your face, squishing your cheeks slightly as he pressed parts of your soft hair against your skin with his palms.

you hummed in response, unable to control the smile on your face, "reds more your colour than mine, I think" you said.

Matt smirked, "good thing you're always by my side then, ain't it princess?"

"mhm" you nodded smugly, edging your face closer to his with a seductive smile.

Matt pulled your lips to his gently, pressing his soft, wet mouth against yours with a small hum. your hands found his wrists, pulling him into you deeper as you slipped your tongue into the kiss.

Matt chuckled into your mouth, shifting slightly as he deepened the kiss further. Smoothly pulling an arm from your face, not once breaking the kiss, he pressed you against the bathroom wall and pushed the bathroom door shut.

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touyaismycomfortboy · 23 days ago

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♡ Forgotten dates...

a/n: idk I just think panicked shoto would be so cute <3

word count: 2.0k

synopsis: you and shoto had a date planned for today, you guys were gonna go out and get ice cream and go to the park. you got all dolled up and waited for him to come pick you up, but as more and more time passed, you started to realize that he had forgotten. now he has to make it up to you.

pairing: shoto todoroki x gn!reader

genre: slight hurt/comfort, fluff at the end, nothing too serious <3

warnings: not proofread and rushed LMAO

you looked in the mirror while you fixed your appearance. you were going on a date with your boyfriend, shoto, and you were so excited. even though you had been on plenty of dates, it always made you happy to spend time with him.

nothing too fancy was happening today, you two were going to get icecream at the local parlor and take a walk around the park. you were going to stuff some cards and a sketchbook in your bag just in case you guys needed something to do after a while.

it was 3:55pm, shoto was supposed to come get you at 4. you quickly slipped on your shoes and glanced one more time in the mirror before running downstairs.

unbeknownst to you, shoto was currently asleep.

he had a rather intense training day today and decided he would rest his eyes for a couple of minutes, but that couple of minutes had turn into hours and, well…

you sat on the couch that was near the window, scrolling on you phone and occasionally looking up to see if you could see shoto, feeing excited and giddy for your guys' date.

4:02, alright, that's fine. not too bad at all, two minutes late isn't bad at all. you looked back at your phone, seeing if shoto had texted you that he might be late, but he hadn't texted you since this morning.

4:08, okay… now it's weird for him to not have texted you. if he was going to be this late this needs a little warning, it's been almost 10 minutes since was supposed to pick you up, suspicious… you opened your phone once more and opened shoto's contact, texting him quickly.

y/n: hey, are you almost here yet??

(sent)

you waited patiently for it to show that shoto had read your text, but you were left on delivered for the next few minutes.

you decided to go wait outside, you could see him if he was walking down the street that way. but you walked all the way out to the sidewalk and saw… nothing.

y/n: shotoooo, where are you??

the vibrations of shoto's phone weren't enough to wake him, still sleeping peacefully in his bed back home.

4:15, okay, are you allowed to be mad now? i think you were allowed to be mad now.

y/n: heyy what's going on? where are u? you were supposed to get me 15 mins agoo

once it hit 4:20, you quickly opened your best friend, mina's, contact and called her. it took her less than 5 seconds to answer and you sighed in relief that at least one person would acknowledge you today.

"hey y/n~! what's up? you usually text me before you call me." mina sounded cheerful on the other end, a small bit of concern lacing her words.

you started to walk into the direction of her house, doing you best to not look angry to passerby. "mina, shoto forgot about our date and he's ignoring me!" you sounded exasperated. "can i come over? i worked hard to look good today, i'm not letting that go to waste."

mina gasped dramatically on the other end, sounds of her shuffling and moving around coming through the speaker on your phone. "getting ready now, i'll meet you halfway!" she quickly hung up the phone, and you laughed at her urgency.

you shoved your phone in your pocket, trying your best to not let this ruin your day. at least you got to hang out with mina, right?

shoto better have a good explanation for this.

mina kept her word, and while walking to her house you saw her pink form frantically running towards you in the distance. when she finally got close, she gasped dramatically once more. "you look so cute!! i can't believe shoto would miss out on the chance to see this!" she crossed her arms and frowned.

you smiled at her, adjusting your clothes. "thank you, mina."

she stomped her foot on the ground, arms still crossed. "how are you being so calm?! you should be so mad at him! look at how cute you are, and he's just ignoring you!" she wrapped her arm around yours and started to lead you to her house. "don't you worry, y/n, we're gonna have so much fun!"

mina didn't tell you this, but as she was walking towards you she was spamming shoto with angry messages.

mina: SHOTO TODOROKI!! explain yourself right now >:( mina: how DARE you flake off my best friend!!! next time i see you you're getting it!!! mina: i'm gonna go steal ur girl since u can't treat her right >:( mina: I SEE HER SHE LOOKS SO CUTE. HOW COULD U ABANDON HER LIKE THIS????

she might have overreacted, maybe.

shoto woke up during mina's spam, half awake and turning his phone on silent from all the notifications and laid his head down.

then, icy fear struck his heart. he immediately sat up, wide awake now.

he opened his phone to look at the time, almost scared to look.

4:38.

he cursed under his breath, quickly getting out of his bed and changing out of his sweaty clothes, trying to look at his phone as he did so.

6 unread messages.

he saw your texts asking where you were, and pangs of guilt hit him in the gut.

he saw mina spamming him with angry messages, and assumed you had told her and that you were with her right now, he had to hurry up.

he ran down the stairs, his hair still a mess from sleep. his sister fuyumi greeted him, but he quickly ran past her, slipped on his shoes, and ran out the door.

he looked at his location on your phone, he saw you were a couple blocks away and walking in the opposite direction of his house, that must be where mina lives. he quickly took note of what street you were on and started running.

he opened your contact and called you, doing his best to run as fast as he could while still being able to hold the phone to his ear.

you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, quickly reaching into it with your free arm that wasn't linked with mina's and looked at who was calling.

mina looked over your shoulder and snatched your phone out of your hand, shoving it into her own pocket. "nuh-uh! he doesn't get to be 40 minutes late and then steal you from me, you're mine now!" she pouted, squeezing your arm tightly.

"well, maybe he has a good reason-"

"nope!" she pointed her finger at you. "he ignored you, now you ignore him for a little bit to get back at him! then you can talk to him."

you sighed, shaking your head. "and you wonder why you're single." you mumbled under your breath.

mina gasped, holding her hand to her heart. "how could you say such a thing!" she asked, feigning offense.

shoto sighed as the call went to voicemail, putting his phone in his back pocket as he ran towards the street you were on. he couldn't blame you for ignoring him, but he wanted to explain himself to you sooner rather than later.

you didn't live that far away from him, so even though you were walking to mina's house you weren't terribly far away from him. he could make it there in just a couple minutes if he ran fast enough.

guilt was making its way into your gut since you ignored shoto's call, but every time you reached for your phone mina smacked your hand away and insisted that you ignore him back since he ignored you first.

you were almost at mina's house, you could see it in the distance, but then you heard fast footsteps running towards you both.

you instinctively turned around and stood in front of mina to shield her, but you were immediately taken aback by shoto running towards you.

your eyes widened, and he finally reached you he bent over, resting his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. did he run all the way here from his house?

you observed his appearance, his hair was disheveled and his outfit was haphazardly put together, he was sweaty and out of breath. he looked like a mess, not typical for shoto.

mina peeked from over your shoulder, gasping and taking a step around you. "shoto todoroki!! you better have a good explanation for this, i was just about to hang out with her!! you ignore her, and now you come and steal her right as i get her?" she crossed her arms and pouted.

you smiled and put a hand on mina's shoulder. "girl, it's okay."

"y/n-" shoto said breathlessly, finally standing up as he caught his breath. you looked into his eyes, and all you could see was remorse and guilt. "-i'm so sorry, really." he took a deep breath. "i was training earlier, and i decided to rest my eyes for a little, and i was asleep for longer than i anticipated, i'm sorry for being so late."

you sighed, a small smile appearing on your face. you were happy that he wasn't ignoring you intentionally, and that he wasn't playing hooky on purpose, but you still felt a little upset.

shoto took your hands in his and ran his thumbs across your knuckles. "i'm very sorry," he looked into your eyes. "would you still like to go out?"

you squeezed his hands lightly, nodding. "yes, of course." you moved your hands away from his, looking over at mina. "sorry, we can plan for tomorrow?" you laughed lightly.

mina crossed her arms again, more playfully this time. "sure, go off with your boyfriend, just abandon me-" she laughed. "go have fun!!"

she waved at you, then looked at shoto and gave him a death stare. "if you do this again, i'm stealing her." she quickly changed her demeanor and waved at you again. "bye-bye!" and walked off.

you giggled at her actions, you loved your best friend.

you looked at shoto, seeing his disheveled hair and reaching up to smoothen it out. "did you even look in the mirror before you left?" you smiled.

"no, i saw the time and had to get to you as soon as possible to apologise." his lips curved upward as you smoothed his hair. "would you still like ice cream?"

once you flattened out his disheveled hair, you stood on your toes to kiss him on the cheek. you then held his hand and squeezed it gently. "well, of course!"

shoto smiled at your happy demeanor now, happy that he didn't just ruin your whole day. "let's go."

you all peacefully walked to the ice cream parlor, you got your favorite flavor and shoto got plain vanilla. you convinced him to make it a little more fun by adding sprinkles, then stole a bite.

after you all were done, you walked to the park and traveled down the winding and weaving paths, admiring flowers and occasional birds that passed by. there was a bench that was perfectly in the shade of a large tree nearby and you both decided to sit there.

you sat in comfortable silence for a while, leaning your head on his shoulder as you looked at the scenery around you.

"i'm still sorry for being late." shoto spoke, squeezing your hand for a moment. he felt terrible.

"it's not your fault," you squeezed his hand in return, reassuringly. "maybe next time you could just set an alarm." you giggled.

he smiled, nodding in agreement. "i will." he kissed the top of your head. "i love you, y/n."

you moved your head to look at him, a subtle blush covering your cheeks. he didn't take those words lightly, you knew every time he said them he absolutely meant them. "i love you too, sho."

#shoto todoroki #todoroki shoto #x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #shouto todoroki x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #mha x reader #feat. mina ashido #mina ashido is ur best friend #fluff #slight hurt/comfort #nothing serious #carmen writes bnha

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drunkinyourbenz · 2 months ago

Text

IF YOU'RE GONNA LIE, DO IT IN MY BED

☆ SYNOPSIS: billie kept lying to your face, but when she looked at you like that, you didn't really have it in you to care. you did, however, have it in you to push her further by being a brat. ☆ PART TWO ☆ RELATIONSHIP: dom!billie eilish x fem!bratty!reader ☆ WARNINGS: SMUT, mean billie (oops), reader is a tiny bit pathetic, bratty reader, situationship/fwb, angry sex (kind of?), crying, established safe word (not used), strap-on, oral on a strap-on, deepthroating, gagging, oral, overstimulation, squirting, degradation, praise, petnames (pretty girl, baby, ma, etc.) name calling (slut, whore, brat, etc.), choking, hair pulling, humiliation, dumbification, billie is so condescending in this, toxic dynamic. ☆ NOTE: sorry babes i've been totally off the grid, writing this when i should be studying calculus lmao!! this is long as hell i'm so sorry i got carried away 😭 title from the song ‘guess we lied…’ by fletcher. this is oxytocin billie at her finest btw!! also situationship/fwb billie has me in a chokehold !! also i'm on my period rn lmaooo ☆ WORD COUNT: 4.8k words

you’d been in a friends with benefits situation with billie for roughly the past four months, but you’d known each other for far longer. billie was too busy for a proper relationship, so the past four months had been all hotel rendezvous and stolen kisses, but no real commitment.

billie would always fuck you better than anyone else could, and you'd be left alone in a cold and empty bed the next morning. she knew how to treat a girl, that was for sure, she was just emotionally unavailable. she needed someone who didn’t need her to actually be present in their life, just there for a good time when she felt like it.

of course, that was where you came in—you and the countless other girls she had wrapped around her finger. there had been many girls throughout the years, but rumour had it, most of them were gone after less than a month. that knowledge gave you an addictive feeling of importance, something that kept you coming back for more. you might mean nothing to her, but you meant more than the others did.

you’d planned to meet up today, but billie was late—of course she was.

she’d been at a party—of course she had.

chances were, she’d been out fucking one of the many other girls she had totally entrapped in her siren-like charm—she told you that you were her favourite, but you weren’t sure you believed her. she probably told every single girl she fucked that, she just happened to keep you around for longer than most.

so she stumbled into the hotel room she’d told you to meet her in, forty five minutes late, a resting frown on her face as she kicked off her shoes upon entering the room. you look up from where you sat on the bed scrolling your phone, raising an eyebrow.

“late again, where were you?” your voice didn’t sound accusatory, simply curious, but you were accusing her of something, and she knew it.

she shrugged casually, her face still set in that slight scowl. “a party, it’s not important.”

she was clearly in a bad mood, but you didn’t really have it in you to care. her bad mood was no excuse to leave you hanging for almost an hour. you laughed dryly. “next time, just cancel. i don’t care if you don’t want to see me, that’s fine. just don’t leave me waiting here for you to show up.”

billie rolls her eyes slightly, through her eyes, it genuinely didn’t matter, and it was irrational for you to be this annoyed. the two of you weren’t dating, she did this with so many other girls, you weren’t special. “god, you’re so dramatic. it was just a party, it’s not a big deal.”

you let out a soft scoff, “i don’t care that it was a party. just let me know next time so that i don’t sit alone in an empty hotel room for almost an hour looking like an absolute loser.”

“i meant to get here on time.”

“don’t lie to me, i know that if you mean to do something, you do it.” which was true. if billie actually wanted to do something, she found a way to do it.

billie raises an eyebrow, “you’re being a brat.”

you bite back another scoff, but can’t stop yourself from snapping back at her. “and you’re being a bitch.”

something seemed to change in billie’s eyes then, one of her eyebrows raising as she took a few steps towards you. you almost instinctively took a step back, a reminder of the control she had over you even when you were trying to be mad at her.

her eyes were a fraction darker than they had been before, her sharp blue eyes fixated on you as she kept waking forward, backing you towards the hotel bed without even touching you—that was the power she held over you.

“i’m being a bitch? hm, interesting. you don’t look like you think i’m a bitch, you look like you want me to fuck you.” her voice was smooth and level, but there was a sort of harsh bite to it, a warning, foreshadowing for what was to come.

you couldn’t even deny it, not really. you wanted to deny it, but she was right. you did want her to fuck you, despite how little she clearly cared about your feelings right now.

she took a step closer again, and you felt the back of your knees hit the mattress—you hadn’t even been aware of stepping that far back. she watched you closely, a calculating look in her eyes.

“so? you gonna say it, or what? i know you waited around for a reason.”

again, she was right. why else you have waited around for almost forty five minutes? no one fucked you like she did, and you could tell she knew it, from the smug smirk that always painted her lips when she was fucking into you with her strap. god, she could be so cocky sometimes, the knowledge that she was so incredibly hot was a little too powerful for her.

when you thought about it, it was kind of pathetic that you’d actually waited around for forty five minutes. like, who does that? why had you sat alone in the hotel room, waiting for her in the silence? why hadn’t you walked out after twenty minutes and gone to the party where your friends were probably drunk off their faces—the party that you had skipped because you already had plans. plans with billie.

you’d waited around for forty five minutes, and you knew full well that you weren’t going to get her to have a mature conversation. so, you concluded, you might as well make the wait worth it, and let her fuck you. and if you were going to get fucked, it might as well be good.

so, when you spoke, you kept the slightly snarky tone. “obviously, why else would i have waited around for so long?”

she saw the bratty look in your eyes, and her eyes darkened further. she clearly wasn’t in a great mood, and needed a way to blow off steam—your brattiness was giving her exactly that, an outlet. she huffed, grabbing your jaw tighter as she stared at you. she pushed you so you fell onto your back on the bed, landing with a slight impact on the soft mattress. she crawled on top of you so she was straddling your hips, one of her hands coming to wrap around your neck, pressing down to give you just the right amount of pressure. it was a warning, but you weren’t at all worried.

“watch your fuckin’ tone, ma. and don’t look at me like that. you’re a brat today, aren’t you?”

you caught the slight sparkle in her eye in reaction to your attitude, which just pushed you further. she was enjoying this, seeing you act up. you kept the same tone to your voice, looking up into her eyes as her ring-clad hand pressed down on your neck.

“well, i think i deserve to be a brat, after being left hanging for almost an hour.”

she pressed down slightly harder on your neck, her nails digging into your skin slightly and her eyes narrowing as she held your eye contact.

“is that really how you want to play this? don’t act like you didn’t wait around here like an obedient little slut for that whole hour.”

you could’ve sworn you felt your brain falter as her words went straight to your core, because when she talked like that, you always melted a little bit inside. you couldn’t find any quick smartass comeback this time, but you didn’t want to look even more pathetic by fumbling for a response you weren’t going to find, so you simply rolled your eyes.

at your eye roll, she pressed her lips together slightly, “where’s the good girl i normally get to fuck? hmm?” she said those words as if your bratty attitude is somehow displeasing to her, but you knew for a fact that it was the opposite. she loved when you were like this, it gave her an excuse to be rougher, meaner.

“guess i’ll just have to remind you how to behave, won’t i?”

the hand on your neck snaked around to the back of your head, where she took a fistful of your hair in her hand and tugged roughly at it, sending a stinging sensation to your scalp. she used the hand she was pulling your hair with to angle your face upwards, so you were looking right up into her eyes. you held the eye contact, an almost challenging look in your eyes as you spoke again.

“maybe you should. might wanna hurry up with it, though. getting bored here.” that was a blatant lie, you were not bored, and you could listen to her degrade you like you were her slut for hours, but you wanted to push her. you wanted her to be unable to resist fucking you hard. no matter how good the other girls she’d fucked at the party were, you would be better, and you were sure of it. you had to stand out somehow.

your words did indeed have the intended effect on billie, and she let out a scoff, giving your hair another harsh tug as a reminder that she was in charge.

“watch that fuckin’ mouth, sweetheart. it looks better when it’s being put to use.”

that, of course, was the perfect opening for another bratty remark, and you were too deep in to resist winding her up now. “well, i don’t see you putting it to use, do i?”

and… that was it. you could practically see something in the wiring of her brain change as she snapped. “that’s it,” she breathed out, her grip on your hair tightening as she climbed off you, pulling you off the bed and pushing you to your knees on the floor in front of her in an instant.

“you really can’t learn to shut your pretty little mouth, can you? you know, you’re a lot prettier when you shut up.”

she was unbuttoning her pants as she spoke, and you could see the bulge of her strap-on underneath the clothes. within moments, her pants were discarded on the floor, revealing her signature long red strap. for how long she’d spent on the back and forth teasing, she sure seemed to be in a rush now. her hand returned to your hair, gathering it in a makeshift ponytail, harshly tugging your head back to an angle that worked for her.

“you’re also a lot prettier on your knees, so gorgeous f’me.”

those words were misleading, almost soft. when she spoke again, her voice was raspy as she looked down at you with that harsh look in her eyes. “my fuckin’ slut. gonna take what i give you, and you’re not gonna complain.”

that you weren’t, even in your bratty state, you knew you weren’t in a place to complain, on your knees in front of her. plus, you were pretty sure that you wouldn’t need to complain, not for this. you were right, when she pushed the strap-on into your mouth. you hollowed out your cheeks to make it easier to take—not that billie was at all concerned with whether this was easy for you. she wanted to make you cry, she wanted you to be an absolute mess, right there in front of her and on your knees.

your tongue swirled along the sides of the strap, putting on a show for her. she smirked, loving that she had finally shut you up. the satisfaction of seeing you no longer talking back didn’t last for long, however, and soon she had tightened her grip on your hair, holding your head firmly in place. then, she started thrusting the strap as deep as she possibly could inside your mouth.

you faltered at first, your gag reflex acting up, as always. you’d always had a bad gag reflex, but billie didn’t seem to care. after a moment, you managed to sort out the gagging reflex, but it wasn’t long before it was acting up again. you could feel the tears prickling at your eyes, as you always did when billie did this. you were convinced the only reason billie ever got you to suck off the strap was so she could see you cry when you gagged.

after a while, you felt the tears rolling down your cheeks, mixing with the spit that had gathered around your mouth from the sheer pace at which billie was thrusting the strap into you. you let out a muffled whimper around the faux dick, and if you could look up and move your head from the tight grasp billie had on your hair, you’d see the cocky smirk painted on her face. she loved shutting you up like this, and she loved seeing the tears rolling down your cheeks. it was a reminder that she could make you into a mess like no one else ever could.

“god, look at you. so pathetic f’me.”

eventually, once billie was satisfied with how much of a mess you were, she pulled the strap out of your mouth, using the still-harsh grip on your hair to pull you up off your knees. she manhandled you to your feet in front of her, looking you up and down for a moment with a smirk. she took a moment to just take the sight in, your hair messy from how she’d held it, your cheeks tear-stained, and a slightly dumb, empty look in your eyes—oh, how she just adored how much of a mess she could make you.

it wasn’t long that she spent admiring you—she was still in a bad mood, and she desperately needed to blow off some steam. pretty soon, she had crossed her arms while she looked at you closely, “strip.”

you didn’t hesitate—she was unbelievably good at stripping you of your brattiness, as well as your clothes. you could feel any stubbornness you’d had leaving your body at an alarming speed. once you were stood there in front of her in just your bra and panties, billie’s lips twitched up into a small, satisfied smirk. she placed a hand on your shoulder, pushing you backwards to the bed with ease, and you fell backwards onto the sheets and pillows that had been perfectly smoothed out by the hotel staff earlier that day—they wouldn’t be looking that flawless for much longer.

she took a few more moments just admiring you, in front of her on the bed, almost bare. her index finger slipped under your panties before letting them snap back onto your skin with a teasing grin. her other hand moved to your bra, where she tweaked at one of your nipples through the lace, the sharp pain rushing straight to your core.

it wasn’t long before she’d manhandled you into the position she wanted—from behind, it seemed to be a favourite of hers—and rid you of your bra and panties. she lined the strap up with your entrance, and within moments, she’d thrusted the strap fully into you, not giving you any time to adjust. one of her hands circled your clit teasingly, dipping inside your pussy briefly and gathering your wetness on her finger with a smug smirk.

“so wet…that all from me throwing you around? treating you like some dumb toy? fuckin’ whore.”

you let out an utterly pathetic whimper, and she chuckled darkly as she thrusted into you roughly from behind, your pussy swallowing her so perfectly, so willingly—a huge contrast from the bratty display you’d been putting on earlier. her hand squeezed at your ass as she gathered your hair into a makeshift ponytail again, harshly forcing your head back.

“mm, look at you taking me so well, so much prettier when you just shut up. moments like this remind me why you’re my favourite.” you were sure you weren’t her favourite, you were sure she said that to all her girls, but you didn’t care. you let out a moan at her words, and she gave your hair another tug in response. “so fuckin’ pretty when you let me do the thinking, baby.”

she gave your hair another harsh pull to emphasise her next words, “dumb brats don’t need to think, yeah?”

you whined again, and she laughed, the hand that was grasping your hair moved to circle around your neck, squeezing slightly. it wasn’t enough to really hurt you, just a display of dominance—as if the way she was thrusting into you wasn’t enough to tell who was in charge.

the metal of her rings dug into the skin of your neck as she squeezed, and another moan spilled from your lips at the feeling combined with the pace at which she was fucking you from behind.

keeping her pace the same and her hand around your neck, she asked, “colour?” she always checked in, no matter how caught up in fucking you she might seem, she was always attentive to your signals.

“green,” you muttered, surprised you even managed to get a word out with the amount of pleasure you were feeling.

she grinned, although you couldn’t see it, and kept pounding into you at the same harsh speed, the hand that wasn’t around your neck squeezing your ass again. then, she leaned over to speak in your ear, her body pressed against your back. her lips brushed against the shell of your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. god, she knew what she was doing.

“still think i’m a bitch, hm?”

you debated just not replying, but you knew that being bratty again was just what she wanted you to do—and who were you to deny her? “a bitch who’s fucking me good, yeah.”

if you could see her, you would’ve seen her smirk widen as her warm breath fanned over your neck near your ear, and she gave your ear a teasing nip, “still a brat, i see. guess i’ll just have to fuck it out of you.”

she moved away from your ear, the hand around your neck moving back to its previous position in your hair, tugging your head back with her harsh grip. her other hand moved to your hip, holding you in place as she thrusted into you. another trail of moans fell from your lips, your hands moving to dig into the sheets of the bed. “i’m- fuck, billie—”

she laughed condescendingly, giving your thigh a slap, and you whimpered as the pain sunk in. “mm, a bitch who’s fucking you so good you can’t even form a whole sentence, right?”

you just cried out at her words, your hands gripping the sheets as your walls clenched around her strap, your head going fuzzy from the pleasure she was bringing you. you didn’t care how many other girls she had fucked right before she got here, not when she was fucking you this good. you were so, so close, and she could tell.

“cum on my cock, baby. wanna see you fall apart,” she gave your hip a squeeze and tugged your hair, and that was enough to push you over the edge. you came with a moan, clinging onto the sheets like your life depended on it, pleasure washing over you in the most intense waves. your eyes squeezed shut as you mumbled incoherent nonsense, “bils, fuck—oh my god…”

she grinned again, keeping up the bruising pace, which you assumed was just her helping you ride through your orgasm. but even once you’d come down from the intense pleasure, she was still thrusting deeply inside you, causing whimpers to fall from your lips.

“bils, too much–fuck, it hurts—”

giving your hair another pull, she spoke with that same raspy voice, “i don’t care if it hurts, you’re gonna take what i fuckin’ give you, mamas. you know what to do if it’s really too much.”

you let out a strangled cry as she kept pounding into you, the pleasure mixing with pain and creating an intense feeling of ecstasy—but she was right, if you needed her to stop, you knew what to say. but you didn’t, you just kept letting out those same broken moans as your hands tangled in the sheets. your release was gathering around the base of the silicone as she pounded into you.

she let go of your hair, moving her hand so both of them were firmly holding your hips, keeping you in place as she fucked into you at that bruising pace. you were almost certain you would have bruises from how firm her grip on your hips was—not to mention how unlikely it was that you’d be able to walk the next day—but you didn’t care. it just felt too good, her fucking into you like this, the way she was manhandling you…

it wasn’t long before one of her hands snuck down to your clit, circling it torturously with her index finger and drawing even more desperate moans from your lips. you were embarrassingly close to your second orgasm, it couldn’t have been longer than five minutes since you came down from the last, but you could feel your walls clenching around her strap again.

billie noticed this, of course, and you could visualise the smug smirk on her lips when she spoke. “gonna cum f’me again, pretty girl? god, you look so much better like this.”

so, you came around her cock for the second time that night, moans falling from your lips like music. your arms were aching from holding yourself up, and you slumped down slightly, resting your head on the newly messed up sheets of the bed, a soft sigh escaping you. your thoughts were jumbled and you couldn’t pick out a single coherent thought amidst the mess of pleasure, your thoughts just a repeating mantra of billie’s name.

after a moment, billie pulled the strap out of you, and you whined again at the feeling of emptiness that took over you. she laughed softly, a slight condescending undertone to it, before grabbing your shoulders to turn you over so you were laying on your back. her touch was decidedly more gentle than it had been earlier, but she clearly wasn’t finished with you yet.

once you were on your back, she pushed your thighs apart and settled down between them, propping herself up with her elbows and looking up at you. her lips twitched upwards when she took in the expression on your face, you were completely wrecked—and she’d made you like that. she watched as you took deep, heavy breaths, your head resting back against the bed as you stared at the ceiling.

“can you move up f’me? get your head on the pillow, ma.”

her voice was almost soft, and you nodded quietly, using your weak arms to pull yourself up the bed slightly. once your head was resting on the pillow, you let out a soft sigh of relief—your neck was aching from how hard she’d been gripping it, so the pillow gave you some much needed extra support.

she looked at you for a moment, before speaking again, that raspy hint to her voice still very much present. she seemed a bit more cautious than she had been, a lot of her frustration from the day clearly fading from how hard she’d fucked you. “i wanna taste you, baby. colour?”

you nod softly, exhaling slowly. you were exhausted from how hard she’d been fucking you, but you needed her mouth on you. “mhm, green.”

it didn’t take any more confirmation for her to lean down and bury her face in your pussy, her hands gripping your thighs and holding you firmly in place. her tongue licked a stripe up your slit, drawing a loud moan from you. your thighs instinctively closed around her head, the amount of pleasure she’d given you hard to bear. she tsked, giving your thigh a warning slap and firmly forcing them open again,

“stay still.”

two fingers slipped inside you with ease, and she started thrusting them inside you at a torturously slow pace while her tongue circled your sensitive bud. the slow pace was a contrast from how fast she had previously been pounding into you, and you knew she was doing it on purpose to drive you insane. everything she did was always so calculated, exactly what you needed at that moment to make you fall apart, to make you an absolute mess for her.

her free hand moved up to your tits, giving them both a soft, misleading squeeze, before harshly pinching your nipple between her index finger and thumb, laughing mockingly when you let out a soft cry of pain.

“oh, it hurts? hm, you’re fuckin’ pathetic, baby. such a mess.”

the sounds of her fingers inside you echoed around the hotel room, the only sound other than your moans. you were so impossibly wet, and you could feel another orgasm approaching rapidly as her fingers curled inside you, “mm, you’re taking me so well. such a good, dumb slut for me, hm?”

your walls clenched around her fingers at her words, and she grinned, nipping at your inner thigh teasingly before returning her tongue to your clit. “yeah, my good little slut. like when i call you that, ma?”

you moaned again, and you were coming on her fingers before you could stop yourself, your body going limp against the bed as you were hit by your third high of the night, moans falling weakly from your lips.

billie didn’t stop her movements, her tongue moving from your clit to your pussy, gathering your taste on her warm tongue and moaning softly. her fingers replaced your tongue at your clit, and you flinched as they circled your sensitive bud.

you let out a whine as her tongue kept up her movements, slurring out a soft protest through the pain of being so overstimulated, “bils, i can’t– ‘m too sensitive—”

she hummed against your pussy, the vibrations eliciting another moan from you. she pulled back ever so slightly to respond, but you could still feel her warm breaths hitting your clit in the most achingly pleasurable way.

“fuckin’ take it like a good girl, know you can.” her fingers kept circling your clit. “you want to be a good girl for me, right? make up for being such a brat?”

you nodded desperately, because yes, you wanted to be her good girl. you wanted to please her, “yes, fuck– wanna be your good girl, billie-”

billie grinned, her tongue returning to where it had been, slipping inside you as her fingers teased your clit, “mhm, my good girl. my favourite girl.”

you whined at the pleasure she brought you, trying not to close your thighs around her head again as they shook from the sheer pleasure of this moment. you didn’t even really comprehend her words, the way she kept throwing around the lie that you were her favourite.

you didn’t even care if you weren’t her favourite girl, being one of the girls was more than enough for you. you didn’t care how many other girls she’d fucked right before this, because you could feel her tongue coaxing yet another powerful orgasm out of you. a sob left your lips, the pleasure overwhelming you and taking over your body in every way possible. god, she was too good at this.

you opened your mouth to warn her, but all that came out was a moan as she flicked your clit with her finger, and the dam broke. your head fell back against the pillow as liquid gushed out of you, soaking her chin and the sheets below you.

she eagerly lapped at it, and you let out another strangled whine, your hand reaching out to her head. your fingers tangled in her hair, trying to guide her off you. your things were shaking, your skin tingling, your body drenched in sweat, your mind foggy.

it was too much, the pleasure becoming too overwhelming. you’d have told her that if you could form words, but she took your signal and dragged her mouth away from your pussy, pressing a few soft kisses to your inner thigh.

“mm, look how messy you are, mamas. such a messy slut, all for me?”

you whined softly as she pressed kisses to your trembling thighs, “all for you.”

she grinned up at you smugly from where she lay between your thighs, her eyes raking over your face and body. her smile widened as she took in just how wrecked she’d made you, your hair messy and your body limp and exhausted, paired with the marks that were already appearing on your hips and neck from her harsh grip. she found you unbelievably gorgeous when you were like this, and she gave one of your thighs a teasing squeeze.

she had fucked the brattiness out of you, just like she’d said she would.

“see, baby, what did i tell you? so much prettier when you’re not being a brat.”

#୨ৎ lyd writes #billie eilish #billie eilish smut #billie eilish x reader #billie eilish x reader smut #smut #billie eilish x you #billie eilish x y/n #hit me hard and soft #hmhas #happier than ever #when we all fall asleep where do we go #wwafawdwg

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