#less good is the part where like.
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if anyones curious btw i had what felt like a regular cold from... the symptoms were mostly Wednesday-thursday but i had a little bit on tuesday and friday. mostly sore throat on tuesday and a bit of tiredness/lingering soreness on friday. but since someone in the house tested positive for covid im going to assume thats what it was.
But Also. i got the ick way less badly than either of the others which. is certainly partially luck but also ive been yk. staying in my room & wearing my mask when i have to leave it except when i take it off to eat. like theyve both been sick longer and are still sick while i feel completely better so... masking/distancing good basicly 👍
#less good is the part where like.#im gonna need to buy groceries soon and one of the sick people trapped me into being dependent on her lol#(no i cant get public transportation or delivery i live in a rural area#)#so. 🫠#i guess i could possibly ask one of my sisters to make the 1.5hr round trip but. Lmao#its not an emergency or anything its just a very hey great work getting your dumb ass trapped in a living situation with a single point of+#failure op 👍👍 this surely will never come bite you in the ass
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very specific au thought, silver if he was the shield instead ( read the tags to see explanations )
#reading chapter 7 updates back to back on both servers YEEHAW#essentially shield silver is just silver but with his backstory has elements from yuulis' backstory#or like. the silver owl's kingdom falls apart much much more disastrously#so silver is!! essentially the same type of creature that yuulis is hnm hnm#he's less proficient in swordplay so sebek beats his ass in sparring#but he makes up for it in magic!! hes at least twice/thrice better than his og incarnation#though he lacks self confidence bcs hes surrounded by fae like malleus n lilia who r just. innately good at magic#he has thick arm guards instead of the regular diasomnia gloves#bcs his he needs protection for his feeble human arms#( jk he's still as muscular as normal silver bcs he has to swing that big staff around )#was gonna make the shoulder pad on his right to make him mirror the knight of dawn but it bugged me too much grrrrr#his clothes r also more loose but still not restrictive#without saying much#shield silver is closer to malleus than the og!! he imitates malleus' mannerisms a lot when casting spells. like the floaty thing mal does#also indirect yuulis lore ig#shield silver always covers up ( like malleus cards ) bcs he's got a mega complex about his stitches#unlike yuulis he has no means of rlly hiding his stitches by himself#so he's under an illusion spell ( cast by malleus ) where to the regular person he looks like a regular human#also when he overblots. he becomes the phantom himself ( indirect yuulis lore part 2 )#hence why.. fucked up looking creature in the last image#tahst enough rambling from me hehe live laugh love#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#sebek zigvolt#twst grim#twst yuu
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"Marinette being a fangirl of Adrien the model means she doesn't see the real him and Adrien hates that about his job"
Adrien when Marinette watches him model:
Boy is BASKING in her fangirlisms its crazy
Showing off to her was probably one of the only highlights of his job
He's a teenage boy and the cute nice girl in his class thinks he's cool for this thing ofc he's gonna milk it
#mlb#ml#miraculous ladybug#adrinette#adrienette#adrien x marinette#adrien agreste#chat noir#ladybug#marinette dupain cheng#sidrabbles#shes not part of the crowd that swarms him for autographs and keeps him from where he wants to go#she tries very hard to hide it but when it slips out he's always happy about it LMAO#when she was unknowingly repeating his ad in front of him in gorizilla#he's happily surprised and grinning#thinks the ad is whatevers but then yo??? marinette likes it??? one good thing to come out of this shit!!#sees pics of him on her wall#happy to see she's a fan of him like he has been of her (to a less obvious degree ofc lol) (refer to him asking for her signature in s1)#marinette complimenting his walk#makes him shyly and happily rub his neck at the praise#sees her wild smile as her eyes shine on him as he's on the runway has him SMIRKING from his effect on her#a nice friend of his
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You think this will be THE last update for book 7.. or will there be more chapters q-q. (I'm totally not desperate for book 8 HAHHA)
I think we're gonna get at least one more chapter where we wrap back around to the Diasomnia boys (I have THEORIES!!!!), but I think 13 will probably be the last one! maybe also 14 as a short epilogue/setup for episode 8, depending on where they cut after we deal with Malleus. we are definitely approaching the endgame though! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ the party is almost assembled...the light is at the end of the tunnel...it is almost time to go throw pies into Tsunotarou's silly face until he comes to his senses...
(disclaimer since I don't think they've actually officially confirmed that there's going to be an episode 8, that this is of course just me assuming that Grim's arc/whatever's going on with Crowley probably/various other wrapups are going to be a separate episode, and aren't gonna be folded into the absolute beast that has been episode 7. BUT it does make for a nice break point and makes sense thematically with Ramshackle being, like, the semi-official 8th dorm and all, so I think it's a pretty safe bet at this point!)
#twisted wonderland#joseimuke games are serious business#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#mostly because i'm gonna talk about spoilers at least#the dream chapters have all been pretty solidly focused on their respective dorms so far#so i figure this friday will be riddle's dream + a little extra bit at the end where they talk about what comes next/hook for 13#and then we go back into waiting mode#i do genuinely try not to speculate TOO much because i don't want to get too caught up in my own expectations#but my theory at this point is that silver is going to get lured back into dreams somehow so we can get silver dream + story card#(or at LEAST the diadorm reruns. i will not believe 7 is ending until we get those.)#and even if i'm wrong about that we still need the closure between him and lilia + mal's arc to be wrapped up#presumably malleus will also have a moment where he's like 'actually. heck this. (pulls out a gun and shoots his phantom)'#(not to mention grim has to eat a rock again)#but yeah anyway i think all the diasomnia stuff is gonna need its own chapter#so i'm more like...are they gonna cut it right after we fix mal or will 13 be the entire ending to 7#my other based-on-nothing theory is that they might be trying to time the end of 7 to be around the fifth anniversary in march#(...which actually feels less likely now that the february schedule's out but HEY it ain't disproven til it's disproven)#i think chances are good we'll start getting 13 in march at least so hopefully we'll have a better idea once that starts#i am mentally preparing for the fifth anniversary to be where they unveil episode 7: the squeakquel
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yan wushi's betrayal is necessary, his cruelty is the point!!! much like the audience, shen qiao believes that there's kindness in yan wushi, and with time spent together, it will eventually show, no matter how small. that although they walk different paths, shen qiao's is the ultimate truth.
shen qiao's character flaw is not his kindness. it's his ignorance. and he doesn't truly accept (we, the audience, don't truly understand) this until yan wushi betrays him.
#the amount of times i've seen sentiments like 'i love how yws is less evil in the donghua' or people hoping that he's a softie inside#wanting to take away a crutial part of his character because it makes you uncomfortable is strange#because if you were to do that would you be talking about yan wushi? it's good if he makes you uncomfortable#it's good if liking him makes you uncomfortable. that's the whole point!#qian qiu is not this epic love story where good and evil fall in love. it's about ideals it's about power#it's about how you can be held back in life by yourself. it's about morality community hope. love just so happens to also be discussed#and yes. both shen qiao and yan wushi are more than their respective philosophies. but those are the fundaments their character stands on#thousand autumns#qian qiu#yan wushi#shen qiao#yanshen
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I hate myself for simping for a twitch streamer, but my god whenever Hasan posts a pic where you can see his freckles I’m just like
#shit post#Hasan Piker#Hasanabi#good god#men with brown eyes and freckles really fuck you up#the most ridiculous part is he posts OBVIOUS thirst traps#like he recently posted a pic of himself just in his boxers#and it did LESS DAMAGE to me than a close up of him where I could see all his freckles#but freckles in the sunlight 🥺🥺🥺🥺#immediate OHKO
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there are a lot of daddy issues to go around on DS9 in general, but odo, bashir and garak are really in their own special little fucked up 'what am I but wrought in my father's image' club
#star trek#star trek ds9#ds9#odo#julian bashir#elim garak#(I personally think we should put their dads in a cage match and let them kill each other. tain would probably win#but we could just shoot him after he claimed that victory. I Would Like To See It)#the triumvirate of bad dads to karmically oppose the sheer power of good dad vibes benjamin sisko has#specifically dads who Cannot and Will Not allow the healthy individuation of their sons into whole separate people#apart from what their father's hands have shaped them into#where that is one of the first things sisko accepts and realizes he must allow jake to do right at the early seasons#the bad dad club boys seem more specifically forcibly held in place to serve as mirrors for their fathers#and have to find ways to break away from that in more or less graceful ways; breaking off more or less important parts of themselves#to do so#dr mora seems to have a 'oh fuck.' moment where he sort of realizes what he's done#but the sympathy that gains him from me is hm. neglible lmao at least tain is basically fully just a monster#what's your excuse mora#I haven't met bashir's dad properly yet but I've seen enough to suspect I'm not going to be very charitably inclined towards him either
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thinking about how Oda chosing Luffy, a pirate, to be the protagonist of One Piece may be one of the most brilliant story moves by any shonen mangaka ever. by virtue of its main character being an in-world criminal, OP naturally lends itself to becoming a story about the exposure of a society festering with corruption for what it really is, and the dismantling of a dystopia and its propagandist facade. you simply do not get a story like that with a shonen protagonist who conforms to or tolerates the shitty system they're born into
#one piece#luffy#monkey d luffy#ive been watching non-OP shonen lately and its been hitting me that for all of them#ALL OF THEM#their protagonists' hero journey is about climbing up the ranks of an established social structure#where that established structure in question is considered the 'good guys' in universe#and the protagonist more or less does not push against the structure no matter the consequences of that structure's actions#like yeah they'll question a moral quandary here or there but for the most part they're like#'this is how things work *shrug*'#im convinced that if OP is just another shonen its main character would've been Koby#anyway this is why OP is best shonen thank you for coming to my tedtalk
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The Cat Curse - MC Edition
Characters: Sylus x gn!mc (poly lads)
Warnings: Heavy hurt|Some comfort, Semi-canon compliant heart condition, Spoilers for current story release (Small mentions of Sylus bond up to 102 and all of Sylus' currently released content).
Word Count: 4170
Written: 23rd December 2024
Notes: New relationship Sylus/MC-centric but poly LADs (this time with group chat), with my personal pov of the game and lil headcanons littered in. Unnamed MC, but using my personal MC's basic appearance and adjusted backstory. I take some liberties with what the game offers me.
Now Playing: Monster, by STARSET
Masterlist
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You've been responding to his messages, Sylus notes, but something's off. He's been away on some inane business trip, ever since you, the doctor, the fish, the prince and he had visited a new kitty cafe opening. He rarely gets to see you visibly excited, you are worse at showing your feelings on your face than he is. Whenever you're faced with animals, of any kind, even Mephisto, your eyes sparkle and you could easily spend hours upon hours sat with them. Even more so if they let you pet them.
The first time you'd seen the evol kitties, according to the doctor, you'd been unsure. They didn't look like cats. Something off and a little wrong, but they mewed at you and straight away you'd gently stroked their noses. As if unable to hold back.
Since then you would drag any of them along to play kitty cards. You didn't like the game, had no patience for strategy, but you did like petting the cats. Sitting there between every round, barely looking at the board, and tickling small whiskers. Much to the fish's distress.
While Sylus doesn't really care if he wins or loses around you, he's almost assured a win when playing with you because it's simply not something you care about. Distracted and unbothered by the game. He's only relieved that when he sprouted ears and a tail (of the caracal kind), you had been just as enamoured with those. Finally smothering him in affection in the same way, and being distracted by his tail. Though he'd never confess to competing with cats, at this point it's just an everyday occurrence.
He found he enjoyed playing most with the doctor, unlike when the man played with you, he took no soft approach with Sylus, and it was fun to butt heads with him. Stubborn as they both could be. That left you to lean your head on the fish's lap, the prince asleep against your side already, and play with cats, to a backdrop of 'You're cheating', 'I'm simply better at this than you.', 'If you would stop getting distracted-' that you mostly blocked out.
Rounds later, he paid the bill before anyone else got chance to, and picked up some cakes to take back.
Then he'd had his business trip to attend, having moved things around so on your rare day off, you could see everyone. It was never fun to drop you off, Sylus missed you anytime he could not see you, and though he was prideful, he had been honest about not being able to sleep without the sound of your voice. A confession you'd flushed at and tugged at one of the straps of your prosthetic.
He'd watched you waver over how to respond, biting at your lip, and fidgeting, as you fought against your urge to run away from him.
Trying didn't come easy, you'd told him. Honesty and openness, it got even harder when you'd lost your family, it got easier with every day you were given room to breathe by all of them, and every friend you held dear to your 'broken' heart. He didn't want to dig, or poke at old wounds, not now you were trying to live... but he often saw too much of himself in you.
Whether it was because of the way you'd grown up, or his soul inside of you, it made him even more careful and aware of offering you what you offered him.
"I'll miss you too, Sy. Call me, alright?" Your finally settled on, cool metal hand taking his in yours and squeezing. Before he'd left you, reluctant and complaining, he'd pressed kisses over your face, down your neck, and finally pushed you to the wall of your apartment building, to steal all the air from your lungs. Thigh holding you up, as he tangled his hands in your hair.
When he'd tried to pull away, he couldn't quite, leaning back in once, twice, three times, chasing the warmth of your mouth. Over and over.
You'd laughed, pushing him back to breathe, gasping, "It's a week. We'll be fine for a week."
A week... you aren't possessive enough, he thinks, spinning his pen in his hand. Half listening to Luke and Kieran talk. He feels as though he's emptied and lost, missing parts of what makes him who he is, and your messages feel... the same.
He could be reading into it... you're not exactly one to put your heart on your sleeve, or cling. You're independent because you've had to be, and he still hasn't had enough time to get you to lean all of your weight on him.
So he sends a message into the group chat without you, made in order to plan surprises or outings.
🐦⬛: Is everything ok back home?
⛄️: Aren't you busy?
🐦⬛: I'm taking a break.
They don't have to know he's tuning out his business partners, hoping they'll talk themselves out so he can leave.
🐠: lucky, some of us have r busy
🐠: [Attached photo]
🐦⬛: Please tell me that's not paint on my walnut table.
🐠: won't answer u then
⭐️: looks more colourful now
He rubs the space between his eyes, already dreading returning to the mess, and regretting letting the fish use his space for storing work while his studio is being fumigated. The partners at the table tense at his action, but he doesn't bother sparing them a glance, so they relax and resume talking.
🐦⬛: Is anyone going to answer my question?
⛄️: Is there a reason you're asking?
He hesitates, it's just a feeling, if he worries everyone, and it's nothing...
No, he didn't get this far by not trusting his instincts.
🐦⬛: Kitten's messages have felt off.
Two exclamation reactions are his instant response, the fish and prince. They start to type, then stop, then start again.
🐠: what way?
⭐️: have U called them?
⛄️: Calm down, they took some time off work because of a cold.
🐠: y didn't anyone tell us?
⛄️: I thought they would have asked Tara to contact you, or contacted you themselves?
🐦⬛: They didn't.
⭐️: ive been on mission for a couple of days, i can stop in tomorrow when its over
He puts his phone down too forcefully and looks at the room. He's... irritated. Not like he normally is when it comes to you, a childish way where he can't have enough as he likes from you. Like you're a toy he cannot stop playing with. He's almost angry, but mostly sad.
He's been patient, surely you can at least talk to him if you feel sick?
Sylus is done with this trip, he's bored of listening to people talk nonsense, and he has no need for anything they have to offer. "We're done here, Luke. Kieran."
Waving his hand absently and ignoring protests behind him, he leaves the room, phone in hand.
🐦⬛: I'm coming back now.
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Jenna had sent you home, it's not the first time she has. You're terrified one day she'll get bored of having to keep track of your health. Or you'll really let her down, and get you... or more importantly someone else, hurt.
It's probably not a normal mindset to worry so much about what your boss thinks, or to fear disappointing them like they're your parent.
It's not like you have parents to know what's that like... but gran's disappointment every time you got into fights growing up... well it was enough.
Caleb used to cover for you, within reason. He lectured you, told you to pull yourself up and figure it out. That fighting every battle against every jerk you met, reckless and stupid, would get you killed. "Come on pipsqueak, use that energy for something better. Something worthwhile."
So many reasons you didn't want to or couldn't, you wanted to tell him... a hand clenched over your chest.
You were so tired of disappointing them both though, so tired of seeing worn eyes tending to cuts and bruises. Bandaging your back, or fixing the set of your arm.
Being a hunter was that answer. If you used what little life you had in you, unsure when your busted up heart would give out finally, then you could greet Caleb and Gran with pride. Your life was a tool, to make others better.
So every day you weren't working, felt like a day you were failing them... failing to be worth anything other than the core in your chest. A vessel with no purpose or value but to hold something you hated. That could kill you.
It wasn't like you could work like this though... you'd laughed at your partners when they'd sprouted ears and tails. Especially Raffy, he'd been so disgruntled at the fate that had befallen him. This was... probably karma. Pointed, soft ears on top of your head, pinned back against your skull. Pristine white, so they at least blended into your hair.
At your back, a bristled tail, huge and furry... already having picked up some dirt to sully what had been pure white.
It hadn't settled since it had appeared, and you wondered what that said about you...
Fucked up mess. Stupid fool. Useless.
Too loud, everything was too loud. You could hear your neighbours through the walls, all the cars below your apartment, every child crying, dog barking, cat mewling.
It hurts.
You covered your ears with your hand, but noise filtered in through the new set you'd acquired.
Hurts.
You'd grown accustomed to the state of your heart. If you don't pay attention you can miss something, and you care now... perhaps you always did, just too raw like an open wound to let yourself.
It's racing and panicked. You don't need your hunter's watch to know it's too fast.
Burying yourself into your bed, you cover your head with the duvet, grab at your headphones to shove them into your ears, turning them as loud as they can go, and bury your head under the pillows.
Your phone buzzes at your side, and you don't want to touch it. Scared to leave the cocoon you've built for yourself.
You'd begged Tara to tell Zayne you were sick with a cold, that you would be fine soon. She'd given you a heartbroken look that had made you bristle further, pity. Always pity.
You didn't want pity.
Before your fraying emotions could get the best of you, you'd fled the hunters association, hood up over your head and run home.
You can feel your tail trembling, struggling to swish under the blanket as you struggle to calm down, to at least get some sleep.
Maybe if you sleep it will go away.
Maybe when you wake up you'll feel better.
Useful.
Worth having around.
Not on the cusp of disappearing with nothing to show for yourself.
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When you'd woken up, tail still bristled, and newly acquired fangs digging into your bottom lip. Blood staining the bedsheet, you'd finally fished your phone out from your nest.
3am.
The world was quieter for it, and you wondered if this was part of why Sylus preferred the night to day.
You didn't remove your headphones, but you did finally open up your messaging app, seeing messages from everyone.
TaraTara💖: I hope you're ok bestie, if you need anything let me know.
Number One Lumiere Fan: Tara said you were sick, if you have time, I have a few shows you could watch to waste time. Only one is about Lumiere! Promise!
Simone (the one whose guns explode): Hey! Tara said you weren't doing so hot, if you want some company for a movie night, I make the best soup you'll ever have!
Captain: Remember to actually get some rest, take advantage of the break, alright? Everything will be fine here.
🐠cute fishie 🐠: hey cutie, wat do u think?
🐠cute fishie🐠: [Attached Image]
⭐️little star⭐️: missions going well, how are U?
⛄️sweet snowman⛄️: Tara said you're sick, I'll come over to check on you as soon as I can. Make sure you eat and drink.
🐦⬛pretty bird🐦⬛: Meetings are always more boring without you kitten, I hope you're missing me as much.
Your tail settles, curling against your side, fur flattening and you try really hard not to cry. You wish you'd thanked Tara when you left instead of fleeing, overstimulated and hurting.
Wounded like the cat you're teasingly referred to as. Feral and ready to hiss and scratch. You've spent so many years shutting people out.
Shutting Gran and Caleb out.
Shutting them out you wasted so much time until it was too late.
Why can't you learn?
You force yourself to respond, trying to sound as much yourself as you can... it's unnerving, to wear a mask over a mask. You wonder if you'll ever recognise your reflection.
You hesitate as you go to respond to your partners. You should tell them, reaching up to roughly pull the ears on your head. They'd understand, they've been where you are. Your brain says you should go to the kitty cafe, find out how to fix it this time around... but being out there, in the noise...
Instead you send some version of you're fine, and things are fine, everything is good. You're good.
You're together. You're useful. You're not a burden.
You aren't fragile and sick and useless.
You are worth keeping around, even when your heart picks up speed again, beating so hard against your chest that you fear the core wants to escape its fleshy vessel.
The straps attaching your prosthetic are digging into your skin, rubbing it raw, but you ache to even try to remove it. Fighting with the buckles and biting at the bit. You're still in your uniform, and you're sure by now you need a shower. The idea of water shooting a shot of anxiety straight into your chest, flaring up your tail, and your ears flatten as far as they can.
No water...
Maybe later.
Or you can really fill out how shit you feel with a wet wipe bath.
Caleb would kill you.
You don't want to think about it anymore. You want to let the quiet take over, or reasonably so with the screamo in your ears. Blasting the noise outside into nothing.
So you go back to sleep. Easing the pain in your heart with the only sure fire way.
---------
You can't breathe. You can't breathe.
Bolt upright in bed, hissing through your teeth, chest so tight you can feel your ribs.
You flounder, pulling at where your straps should be, but they're gone, no leather under your fingers. So you move to claw at your chest with one hand, gasping.
Hands grab you, and you struggle and you fight and you hiss. Fangs out, feral and ready to claw your way free. Arms far stronger than you pull you against a warm chest, tilt your head back and pills are placed in your mouth. You try to spit them out but a hand is on your throat, rubbing at your larynx. You swallow and then water follows it.
You splutter and cough, and you wriggle and struggle. Your head is pressed against skin, and you sink your fangs in.
Out. Out. Out.
"It's alright, you're alright, I'm here."
Blood fills your mouth and his scent surrounds you and you shiver. Blinking as your heart medication begins to do its job, easing the fractured organ in your chest. You spit, trying to clear your mouth of the taste of metal, shivering and shaking but your chest isn't constricting you now.
"Sy-" You cry outloud, he holds you, not bothered by the blood tricking down his shoulder. Of course he isn't, he heals it, the pain nothing in comparison to watching you choke on air you can't breathe. "Sorry. Sorry." You mumble against his skin, licking where you bit, crying and shaking. Wrapping your arm around his neck.
He assures you, and he rocks you both in his arms, rubbing your back and running a hand through your hair. Careful around your ears, not going far enough down to touch your bristled tail.
He hums and he rocks, and he squeezes you tight enough to ground you.
It's an hour or two later when you can finally feel any semblance of stable. You can't bring yourself to look at Sylus, he's stroking your cheek and wiping tears from your face, and all you can do is stare at the bed. You can't think of what to say.
You didn't take your medication, you hurt him... it's not the first time, but when this happened with Caleb you didn't have a cats' fangs.
Between you opening up and me prying, I prefer the former. He'd told you, after a terrible day, listing every way he would support you.
With all your sharp edge, you place your hand over his on your cheek, "I'm sorry, Sy."
He huffs, turning you in his arms so you're facing each other, but his one hand grips your hip, sturdy. Solid, strong. He doesn't hurt, but escaping would be hard. You try hard not to.
Though you can feel the... your tail swishing.
He looks at it, at your ears, then at you, red nosed and disheveled.
"Explain."
It's a command, brooking little argument, and though normally you'd refuse to take orders, you duck your head now. Avoiding molten eyes and seeking out something to focus on. The hand that was on your head, stretches out in between you both, palm up, and you take it quickly. Toying with his fingers, squeezing it in your own. Finding connection in your hand on his.
"Jenna sent me home, my evol doesn't work, I can't fight. I... it hurt. Everything's so loud."
You can't see it as he frowns, as your ears prick, then settle, seeking out all the things that hurt them. "I went to sleep, thought it would make this go away, but it didn't."
"Why didn't you tell me?" You hear it then, the pain, like he's biting down on glass. Your eyes dart up and his eyes are glassy, warm red gone dull. "You left your prosthetic on. It was rubbing your skin raw at the angle you were sleeping. There was blood on your sheets." He presses his forehead to yours and breathes you in, "Then this. Why didn't you tell me?" His voice cracks, and you want to be sick.
You twine your fingers with his and choke on the words, "I didn't want to be a bother."
He hisses, his grip on your hand almost hurts, but you probably deserve so much worse. You lied to him, to them, and you hurt him. More than just biting at him.
"You need to tell me. No matter what. No matter what I'm doing, beloved. No matter the issue." He kisses your forehead, over and over and over again. "Promise me."
You nod, and curl your pinky around his, just like you used to with Caleb when he made you promise to come to him with an injury. The words are too stuck in your throat, your voice too sore to use, but you nod. Desperately.
"You're not a burden to be carried, kitten. Ever. Do you understand?"
You don't. You want to, but it's hard. There is no part of you that feels easy or fun, but you do love him. So much. More than you thought yourself capable of. More than you wanted, on borrowed time.
"I'll try." You promise, and it feels like you've cycled back around to the start. Promising to figure things out at home, promising to aim for something. A future you're not sure you're going to ever see.
He takes it in earnest, you do not go back on your word. You are loyal and once you trust, you trust with your heart and your soul. It is yourself you do not trust.
Instead he eases you back into his lap and stands, you flinch and release his hand to grab his neck with your hand. "You need to be cleaned up, I'll help." You go to tell him no because it's water, and you're more a cat than even he teases you for, but you have your head in his neck at this angle, and his scent is so strong. Your tail flattens and begins to flick, lazy and soothed. You hear him chuckle, vibrating through his chest and through yours. "I'm not going anywhere."
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Sylus eases you through steps. He's seen you injured, he's seen you with phantom pains, and he's watched you battle nightmares. Wanderers with swords through your chest, your heart stopping, an explosion you can't stop. He knows what you look like when wounded, he also knows that you fear his reaction when you are.
It takes time to heal wounds, he knows that intimately. You'd never shed your rage or anger, not really. When someone has made mention of gods you'd scoffed, when someone has talked about EVER and their many plans to help humanity, you'd snarled. You trust no king, no god, no corporation to fix the world or the people in it. He knows you're always scared but you keep walking forwards anyway, and he admires and loves you for it.
He just wishes you'd take his hand when that happens.
He has not felt fear like seeing your heart failing you in his arms before, and no matter the violence of your struggle, he would let you rip him to pieces to survive.
He has so much time, and his greatest fear is losing you too soon.
He cleans, and he dries, brushing hair and rubbing lotion to ease the burns on your skin. He helps you dress, finding clothes that don't irritate your tail, because at least he is intimately familiar with that, and then he sits you down on the couch with vegetable soup. Not handmade, though he'd rather have done so. He doesn't want to leave you alone, so he orders what he needs. Sending the twins running around. He's sure you'd like to see them, but he's worried their exuberance will agitate the overstimulation you're combatting.
Watching your ears flick this way and that, picking up too much. As though you don't already struggle with the world's input.
He almost feeds you, wanting to heal you with his own hands, like he's anything like the doctor... he's not. His skills are in bloodshed, and he is as sharp edged as you are.
Except you have made yourself a weapon, to be worth the pain, and he was made a weapon, to survive the pain.
He does not move far away, however, kneeling at your feet, and massaging your calves while you eat. You try to pull your legs away, but he keeps them held, and continues his movements. You have soothed his body before, stitched his wounds, kissed where his scars would be, and he will not have you lacking his own love and affection.
A dragon does not love lightly. Though you don't remember the depths he has gone to for you. This is an easy act of devotion.
"You need to tell them too." He finally speaks, as you clear your bowl. He's relieved to see your ears are no longer flat, your tail is not bristled, you are as relaxed as you can be. You nod, guilt written in your face, and he retrieves your phone for you on black and red mist.
Sitting at your side, he grabs your brush and begins to brush your tail. You almost leap into the air, startled and dropping your phone onto the couch cushions. "Sy!"
"Cat fur can get tangled, especially long fur." He smirks, pulling you closer, and brushing through it with long fingers, "So let me take care of it."
You flinch at the contact, stare at where his hand is in the new found attachment, then keeping your eyes trained on your phone, you nod.
He's content to let you write out what you need to, to be honest with the others, he doesn't want to have that job. It's your mission to step out of your self made cage. So he brushes quietly, the twitching tail in his hands restless, but soon as soft as you can be in your relaxed moments.
Your head hits his shoulder, ears twitching in sleep as all the pent up energy and stress escapes you. Held in long white furs in a small brush. You mutter in your sleep, words he can't understand, and whistle through your nose, little noises that make him laugh.
The best, however, is the purring in the back of your throat, broken up by sleep, and the tail that has found its way around his wrist.
He does not move you, but he retrieves a blanket and holds you against him, cheek pressed to the top of your head, against your fur ears, and keeps watch while you finally find some peace.
⛄️: Are they alright?
🐦⬛: They will be.
#wonder writes#love and deepspace#sylus#reader x sylus#sylus x mc#lads x mc#lads x reader#sylus x reader#lads#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus#this was meant ot be cute and fun to write... it ended up being very venty and i just yeeted it out into the world so godspeed.#mc is a feral cat and so is sylus#one is more feral than the other and no its not the dragon#i might just end up doing so many fake texts just for this group chat#the idea of the boys specific group chat where raffy and sylus actively try to torment each other#while xavier mostly watches but occasionally drops a bomb#and zayne has it muted unless mc's name comes up...#quick notes - mc's heart condition has no cure the medication is to keep it running hence why zayne is so determined to study the heart#they also lost their arm in a wanderer attack. and have nightmares about the chronorift event#after being told their heart couldn't be fixed they basically went out and started fights they had generally good reasons to help someone#but they got hurt a lot and had to be taken care of a lot. caleb suggested they become a hunter in order to put something good in the world#they have a lot of anger over their situation and over what they've learned about gran and the loss of their family#they also have that age ol' chronic illness and disabled fear of being too much for people... it do be like that#i might do a less heartbreaking part two... i really didn't mean to do this.. cries but its out my system... kinda...
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Something that bugs me a lot in Dawntrail discourse is watching people who think they are defending the expansion argue away its best aspect. Because here's the thing: Wuk Lamat isn't like prior FFXIV characters. She takes up way more space than them. That's good!
A common thread you see in defenses is that people are complaining about things they were fine with earlier in the story. "Oh well actually Lyse was also the main character of Stormblood and people didn't hate her as much!" or "Heavensward is the story of Aymeric and Estinien and Ysayle, and the Warrior of Light doesn't do that much!" or "No one complained when Gaia jumped into the Eden raids, or when Emet showed up during Seat of Sacrifice" with the implied conclusion of "Wuk Lamat's not different from any other previous major character, your complaints have more to do with [sexism/transphobia/your crippling insecurity about not being the main character] than the way she's written." First of all people did hate Lyse. I get what you are saying but they very much did hate Lyse.
But Wuk Lamat is different. She's different because Dawntrail is unapologetically, full-throatedly her story. She is there at the start, she is there at the end, she is there basically all the way through except for a brief interlude. She is the character you talk to the most, she is also the character that talks the most. She has more of a complete arc than anyone else in the expansion. The antagonists develop much stronger direct and personal relationships to her than they ever do with you. Several major characters have relationships to you through her more than they do with you directly. At multiple points in the story you explicitly step back and are like "Go right ahead, queen, do the main character stuff." She 100% takes your role in certain ways. She's literally a new WL to your WoL!
and that's awesome! Like, holy shit! If you had traveled back in time and told me after Endwalker, "Hey, the next expansion will be almost solely and entirely focused on the character journey of a young woman, and she'll be nuanced and complex and allowed to fail but also allowed to succeed wildly, and her characterization will be interesting and her ideals will be very directly challenged, and she'll get to do some real classic 'sorry my noble opponent but I must stop you, even though I sympathize' shit, and the way she is framed won't feel excessively male-gazey, and she won't get stuck in the FFXII Ashe Miniskirt, and she won't just be someone you watch and clap for while the real protagonist and narrator is some random guy in her entourage," I would've been like "haha, okay, I like FFXIV as much as the next guy but I don't think it's shaken its baseline sexism off enough to do an expansion entirely about a woman and her personal growth and what makes her a good leader, especially after Stormblood's mixed reception. And CBU3 definitely doesn't have the guts to make her even more of a main character than any other prior NPC, and you didn't mention this part future time traveler, but I also don't believe they'll be willing to cast a trans woman in the role." And I would have been fucking wrong!
Yes, Wuk Lamat is the main character. Yes, she does get more attention than other NPCs, or even your Warrior of Light. And yes, that's totally fine, and even something to praise!!! You don't have to run from it to accommodate people who are looking for something to complain about!
#wuk lamat#dawntrail#dawntrail spoilers#dt spoilers#7.0 spoilers#and then once we've gotten this nailed down#we can move on to the more complex part:#'dawntrail did a lot of stuff cool and right and its decisions should be praised but also there are still things you can critique about it'#'and yes that includes how well it handles its laserlike focus on a character that isn't the Warrior of Light'#which is where all the actual fun and interesting conversation is!#defending dawntrail shouldn't mean pretending its less than it is#and we will never get to the good convos as long as we are focused on critics who wouldn't like her even if she was Exactly Estinien 2.0#also i'm not saying her design isn't obviously intended to be sexy. she's a furry lady with washboard abs#and the camera 100% focuses on those abs at various points#but being a furry means that her relatively exposing outfit actually doesn't come off quite the same way#and she doesn't come off as fully fanservice'd out the way that again someone like ashe does#and she appeals to a broader range than just straight men#god i hate ashe's design.#meta: durai report
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"so, that was fun"
#YAHOO YIPPEE#i drew each of these in like 2 mins and i can do like 50 more the amount of energy i have rn is !!!!!!!!!!!!#GAH im not normal im so sorry#WHAT A GUY#sth#doodles#sonic frontiers spoilers#frontiers dlc spoilers#IM GONA RAMBLE ABOUT THE MUSIC HERE because idk where else to do it#the new im here version ??????? SO so good what did they put in this song !!!!!!!!!!!#specifically. it fits the new super form so well. it sounds more electronic and theres less focus on the traditional instruments in the bg#which is so cool!!!!!!!!!#but the bit that gets me is the new vocal line that plays in the instrumental part right near the end. the higher bit#THATS SO PRETTY . AND IT PLAYS RIGHT AT THE CLIMAX#then it fizzles out and ghhhh the visuals ...... ... .#sorry i cant focus on what im writing im still listening to the ost and the instrumentals on undefeatable are INSANE#the melodies you couldnt hear before are incredible. ill just stop here💥#but anyways. please talk to me about the dlc im ALWAYS up to talk about the dlc ok bye
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how about you shut the fuck up Mr. Irresponsible
#i forgot to add the context but this is the part of empyrea part 2 where mellori previously got bodied and now she's in a coma#and so the arcanum is trying to figure out how to save her life when ambrose barges in and starts insulting them for no reason#the man who directly puts children at risk: how dare you do unnaproved experiments on MY children? its a school night!!!#okay so like. ambrose if the arcanum is Not Approved to save lives who is. who do they need the permission of. You ?#the ONE TIME ambrose cares about the children under his jurisdiction its just to get to tell other people what to do 💀#this conflict leads to nothing by the way. ambrose fails to make a point. much less a valid one#he appears. he insults everyone and talks back to a grieving mother. he does not elaborate on why he is so upset. then he leaves.#this would have been an interesting conversation if ambrose actually. contributed to anything#this also fits into his personality: focusing on the greater good#viewing living beings as Keys and Saviors first - people second#ambrose will yell at a grieving mother if he thinks it will save the spiral#wizard101#wiz101#w101#text posts
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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I've been watching Hazbin Hotel in prime. Just watched episode 5 and I gotta ask
Why, oh, WHY DON'T I SEE MORE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT "MORE THAN ANYTHING" WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE HAZBIN HOTEL MUSIC???
Like I get it, the song before it "Hell's Greatest Dad" Is a bop reminiscent of other music from the era its parodying. I loved it.
BUT why are you only putting clips of that song when this MASTERPIECE comes a few minutes after
I honestly don't even know where to begin with this song. The visuals are beautiful, especially when we get moments like this where you can just see the absolute LOVE this man has for her daughter is so sweet and Heartwarming I just-
The voices are fenomenal but what else can you expect from the broadway talents of Erika Henningsen and Jeremy Jordan.
There is also the whole Symbolism with passing the baton to the next generation and stuff. I- I can't even get into the specifics right now Im too emotional.
But above all else THE LYRICS
ESPECIALLY THAT LAST ONE
"I'M GRATEFUL YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER/FATHER MORE THAN ANYTHING"
DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY?? CAUSE I AM. I AM BAWLING MY EYES OUT RIGHT NOW.
It's just so fucking beautiful man. Probably the best song I will hear all year. Obviously my favorite from Hazbin.
#Call me Sir Pentious cause Im crying like a baby over here.#WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THIS GEM FROM ME. THIS ABSOLUTE DIAMOND#I didnt even mention lyrics like “I've been dying to find out who you are. looks like the apple doesnt fall far.”#“You are a part of who I am” “you are the only thing worth fighting for” that just BREAK ME#but oh well#BTW of course I was gonna watch and become obsessed with Hazbin Hotel. I am a theater kid that loves animation. It was like meant for me#could do with a little less obsenities but thats alright its a staple of the show#On another note I almost went insane when I found out lucifer was Jeremy Jordan.#Like its insane how that man always ends up in my obsessions. Newsies. Tangled the series. The Death Note Musical#(Im team L btw in death note but GOD Jeremy's singing made me reconsider for a milisecond in Where's the justice he is just THAT GOOD)#Erika I knew from the mean girls musical which I also deeply enjoy#its Insane the Talent this show brought in. my theater kid heart is ELATED#Last thing is I gotta say I LOVED Lucifer#Like I thought I was gonna hate him because everyone was talking about charlie's daddy issues#I thought he was gonna be neglectful and manipulative#BUT NO. He is a silly (little) father who just loves his daughter but doesnt know how to show it#And had DREAMS and AMBITION and fate in humanity. And he is just such a fun character to follow I had such a riot with this episode#Hazbin Hotel#charlie morningstar#lucifer morningstar#charlotte morningstar
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dumb.......but it appeared in my brain and i had to do it (ノ •_•)ノ
bonus: wip ft. even less hinged kurapika
#if i were smart i would have made this pixel art 540px wide from the start but alas. i must ask you to click for less blurry#...it's a good thing melody is nice because#ability to infer people's psychological state + power that affects your mind and emotions is a bit ಠ_ಠ ;;#this is admittedly not the best example of kurapika mansplaining i just wanted to redraw the panel of him looking unhinged#but for evidence refer to almost any scene where he talks#hunter x hunter#hxh#kurapika#leorio paladiknight#senritsu#melody hxh#(when i say “pixel art” i feel like i need to qualify that by adding#some parts were cleaned up but a lot of this was just me scribbling around like i normally do but with a pixel brush#and i'm not sure that's quite the same thing lol)
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I see there's posts floating around directly and blatantly arguing against mine (same wording) by completely misunderstanding what I said. I'm fucking BACK, babey. Should've bought some hay-scented fragrance while I was at Sephora today, because I am once again your strawman!
#yes Lucanis has been told what he's going to do with his life for his entire life and has not been able to make a lot of choices for himself#this has no bearing on how he has no moral issue with killing people for money#which is what I was saying: he has no moral issue with killing people for money and some of you are clearly uncomfortable with that#because you're bending over backward to insist that he does actually deep inside have an issue with being a contract killer#when it is INCREDIBLY clear and he discusses this multiple times that he does not have any issue with being paid to stab people to death#I can't even discuss other aspects of Lucanis because you're all so unwilling to accept the specific point I'm making#which is that the text makes it incredibly clear that Lucanis does not have any issue with being killer for hire#he has no issue with the “killing people as a profession that he engages in”#he flat out dismisses the idea that there is any moral issue to be had when Emmrich and Davrin ask him about it#you all want him to have a moral issue with the core premise of “killing people” because you struggle with the idea he does not have one#because you're all very convinced that if he chose for himself that he would choose to have an issue with murder#but he doesn't#when he engages in what you consider “making it more palpable” to him it is actually not related to the murder at all#in fact the things he does extra isn't even un-Crow-like necessarily—it's just making things more complicated and less efficient#by avoiding doing things that are not part of the contract and thus aren't necessary to do even if it would make it easier#it is still not an issue with performing murders for money!#I know I'm repeating myself a lot here but people really are doing Olympic floor gymnastics routines to avoid what I'm trying to say#which is that the text is very clear Lucanis does not have a moral issue with the part of his job where he is hired to kill people#(also to that refutation asserting that Lucanis's “enjoyment” is derived from going after objectively bad people#how did you miss the part where Lucanis HATES it when people say that when THEY kill it's Noble And Good only)#(Also his contracts are not strictly Venatori. He has a specialty but he very much states he has non-Venatori and non-mage contracts)#DATV things#anyway I should write a follow-up post
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