#lesbianism has stigma that bisexuality doesn’t. bisexuality has stigma that lesbianism doesn’t. both share certain stigmas | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hellomynameisbisexual · 4 years ago

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Dr. Lauren Beach was 14 years old when she/they first came out as bisexual. Beach revealed the truth to friends and curious classmates at her/their suburban Michigan high school. The reactions varied, but not many were affirming.

"I experienced a lot of people who eroticized my attraction to femme people. It's like, 'oh, you're bi. That's so hot,'" says Beach, who has a Ph.D. in molecular, cellular, developmental biology and genetics.

Other friends asked Beach if she/they were doing it for attention. Beach says only three people, including Beach, at her/their school were openly out as queer. Instead of being embraced by them, Beach received flak for her/their sexuality.

"One of the other people there who was queer was like, 'You're a fence sitter! You're a switcher. You can't be trusted, you might date men after dating me," recalls Beach.

This kind of biphobia, which perpetuates stereotypes, hatred, and prejudices about bisexual people, is not uncommon — even (or sometimes especially) within the queer community. Stigma against bisexual people stems from a larger culture of homophobia, Rory Gory, digital marketing manager of the Trevor Project, an LGBTQ youth suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization, wrote in an email to Mashable.

"Since bisexuals often move between straight and queer spaces, they are subjected to both homophobia and biphobia," Gory explains.

Bisexual people make up a sizable population within the LGBTQ community, given more than 50 percent of queer people in America identify as bisexual, according to the Williams Institute. The think tank does research on sexual orientation and gender identity to ensure stereotypes don't influence laws, policies, and judicial decisions. To be clear, bisexuality means a person is attracted to more than one gender. It doesn't mean bisexual people are more sexually active than others or going through a phase (two common myths).

As a teenager, Beach bought into stereotypes about bi people. But now 22 years later, she/they are a professor at Northwestern University where she/they focus on the health of bisexual people and works to dispel myths about them. Additionally, Beach co-founded the Chicago Bisexual Health Task Force, a coalition that advances the heath equity of bisexual people.

Mashable spoke with Beach, and representatives from advocacy organizations such as the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), GLAAD, and the Trevor Project to learn about the unique challenges bisexual people face and how to be an ally.

1. View bisexual people as individuals

It's easy to lump a single group together but resist that trap. Like anyone else, bisexual people are individuals and their personalities and preferences vary. As Beach says, "there's not one single experience of bisexuality."

For example, Beach is asexual or ace. This means Beach doesn't experience sexual attraction, but she/they are romantically attracted to people across the gender spectrum. One can be both asexual and bi, with some asexual people preferring to identify as biromantic. Although many asexual people are not interested in having sex, some may choose to engage in sexual activity; asexual people can have varied preferences and experiences. Beach's experience doesn't mean all bisexual people feel the same way.

Getting to know more bisexual people can help scrub away your pre-conceived notions. You could already have friends who are bisexual and not know it. Be open about your intentions to learn so you can tear down your misconceptions about bisexual people, Beach recommends.

"You'd be surprised by how many people are like 'Oh, I'm actually bi. Let's talk," says Beach. "From understanding the breadth of experience, you personalize people."

2. Challenge negative stereotypes

As you expand your knowledge about bisexual people, speak up when you hear people perpetuating harmful misperceptions. Sometimes we don't even know we've absorbed negative stereotypes if we're not informed, says Mackenzie Hart, coordinator of GLAAD's Media Institute, which advises media, television, and film professionals on accurate LGBTQ representation.

An easy way to interject when you hear a myth about bisexual people is to say, "Actually, that's not true, my friend who is bisexual does not fit that stereotype," suggests Hart. It can also help to arm yourself with accurate statistics to further back up what you're saying, says Madeleine Roberts, HRC's assistant press secretary. HRC is a helpful resource for these stats.

"Barsexual" is a hurtful label often used to demean bisexual people. It refers to the incorrect belief that bisexual people will only interact with certain genders when they are intoxicated, explains Hart. It upholds the myth that bisexual women are actually straight as it implies they only flirt or make out with women when drunk. It also contributes to bi erasure, which GLAAD says happens when "the existence or legitimacy of bisexuality (either in general or in regard to an individual) is questioned or denied outright."

You should also push back against the harmful stereotypes that bisexuals can't be trusted to commit to a relationship, says Gory. "Embrace bisexuals as valid members of the [LGBTQ] community, rather than referring to them as 'allies' of the community."

Additionally, you can be an ally by understanding certain words and promoting proper usage. For example, you can clarify the difference between bisexual and bi+. Bi+ is an umbrella term inclusive of people who are pan, queer, fluid, and those who don't prefer labels. Use the full acronym of LGBTQ rather than gay as an umbrella term for queer people, explains Roberts. By taking these steps, you can "create spaces where people are hearing these words," says Hart.

3. Healthcare providers need to educate themselves

One time, a clinician asked Beach how many sex partners she/they had.

"I was like, OK, what do you mean by sex?" says Beach. The practitioner questioned why Beach would ask this. Beach told the clinician she/they are bisexual and, therefore, needed clarification about what sexual behavior she was referring to.

"She got really uncomfortable and said 'deep vaginal penetration,'" says Beach. "She started off guessing. She said, "you seem like a nice girl. So what is it, like one or two people?"" says Beach. The provider then said, “So, what you’re saying is more than 30 or 40 people.”

"It shows how someone [in a healthcare setting] can make this jump based on biphobic stereotypes of what my sexual behavior would be,” explains Beach.

After that encounter, Beach never went back to that doctor. To this day, Beach doesn’t have a designated primary care provider.

“I have to work up the emotional energy to want to go put myself through that potential experience," Beach says about seeking out healthcare.

Beach's experience isn't uncommon. Biphobia may discourage bisexual people from going to the doctor, with 39 percent of bisexual men and 33 percent of bisexual women reporting that they didn't disclose their sexual orientation to any medical provider, according to a 2012 study by the Williams Institute. Comparably, 13 percent of gay men and 10 percent of lesbians did not share their sexual orientation with a doctor.

Providers shouldn't presume anyone's sexual behavior because they know their sexual identity, says Beach. Hart echoes this advice. A doctor once asked Hart, "Are you seeing anyone?" Hart said no. She then asked, "If you were seeing anyone, would you be seeing a woman, a man, either, or other?" It wasn't perfect, Hart says, but asking open-ended questions that are inclusive of gender nonconforming people made Hart comfortable enough to see her again.

"Even if you aren't sure of certain words... you can make it clear you aren't going to be judgmental and you understand there's a wide array of experiences," says Hart.

4. Uplift bisexual people of color

Roberts recommends following prominent bi+ people of color on social media such as singer and actor Janelle Monáe, NFL player Ryan Russell, writer and transgender rights activist Raquel Willis, and politician Andrea Jenkins to become familiar with their lives. The next step is to share their stories with your friends and family.

At last year's Academy Awards, actor Rami Malek won Best Actor for his portrayal of British singer Freddie Mercury. Malek described Mercury as gay during his acceptance speech but Mercury was actually bisexual. Willis called out the bi erasure in a tweet.

Of the four people Roberts listed, two (Willis and Jenkins) are transgender. Just like one can be asexual and bi, one can also be transgender and bi. In 2015, the National Center for Transgender Equality surveyed 27,715 transgender people from every state and D.C., U.S. territories, and U.S. military bases abroad and 14 percent of respondents described their sexual orientation as bisexual.

To ensure you're not erasing transgender bi+ people's identities, always use inclusive language like "siblings" instead of "brothers and sisters," says Roberts, when addressing people as if they're family. This guarantees you're not assuming every bi+ person (or anyone generally) identifies as either male or female.

Taking into account the role intersectionality plays in the lives of bi+ people is important — especially when you're looking to amplify their voices.

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prideguynews · 6 years ago

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The Bisexual is a new comedy-drama coming to Channel four which claims to tackle “the previous taboo”. You guessed it: bisexuality.

It’s published by Desiree Akhavan (The Miseducation of Cameron Put up, Correct Behaviour), who has just received the Grand Jury price at Sundance Pageant, and her longtime collaborator Cecilia Frugiuele, and claims to be a “raw, amusing and unapologetic” look at what it suggests to be bisexual in 2018.

“With Desiree’s trademark dry wit, the collection normally takes a candid look at people’s approach to enjoy and sex, and what the enjoy and sex they are drawn to reveals about them,” Channel four claims.

Here’s every little thing you have to have to know about the demonstrate.

When does The Bisexual commence?

The very first episode will air on Channel four at 10pm on Wednesday ten Oct. Soon after that the total collection will be obtainable to look at and obtain on All four, but episodes will also go on weekly on Channel four.

In the demonstrate, Desiree Akhavan’s character Leila starts identifying as bisexual for the very first time (Picture: Channel four)

What’s it about?

New Yorker Leila lives in London, but starts to come to feel shed right after she and her girlfriend of ten a long time, Sadie, make your mind up to consider a break.

It doesn’t enable that Sadie is also her company husband or wife, so even though Leila is equipped to transfer out of their shared flat she can’t steer clear of looking at her ex every single working day at get the job done.

Leila finishes up renting a place from a neurotic novelist and live-in landlord named Gabe. Gabe had a smash strike with his very first novel in his 20s, but is now in his 30s and hasn’t had everything printed considering the fact that.

Leila and her flatmate Gabe (Picture: Channel four)

Leila commences sleeping with gentlemen but struggles to occur out as bisexual to her gay buddies. She finds unlikely solace in Gabe, who becomes her wingman. Leila introduces Gabe to the London lesbian scene, and also allows him get the job done out his perhaps-girlfriend Francisca.

Channel four claims: “Skewering stereotypes and unpicking them, The Bisexual explores the difference amongst dating gentlemen and females from the viewpoint of a person who finds herself – for the very first time – doing both equally, whilst examining the amusing, agonizing, complexities of realising that the one particular you enjoy, and the daily life you have to have, may be two really unique matters.”

Who’s in the solid?

Akhavan performs the lead position of Leila, even though Sadie is played by BAFTA-nominated actress Maxine Peake (Shameless, Silk, The Village).

Gabe is played by Brian Gleeson (Logan Blessed, Mother!), who is the son of Brendan and brother of Domhnall.

Also among the the solid are Saskia Chana (Lives at Random: An Awkward Truth of the matter), who performs Leila’s best buddy Deniz, Eva Birthistle, Michelle Guillot, John Dalgliesh, Naomi Ackie and Niamh Algar.

Maxine Peake in BBC A person drama Silk (Picture: BBC)

What do the solid say about it?

Desiree Akhavan on how autobiographical The Bisexual is: “It’s not autobiographical in its plot – I’ve hardly ever discovered as a lesbian and arrived out as bisexual from the commence, but the characters in it are motivated by the men and women Cecilia and I know and enjoy, so it comes from a really individual place. It’s a look at London and especially Hackney as we know it.

And on bisexuality as a taboo: “It certain feels like it. There are worse taboos out there, but this one’s tricky because by the really character of it being bisexual is invisible: if I’m strolling down the street keeping a woman’s hand I’m gay, if it is a man’s I’m straight. Which is how a ton of men and women aspect-step the label. It has a ton of stigma to it.”

Maxine Peake on Sadie: “Sadie hasn’t necessarily had the least difficult daily life. She alludes to what it was like growing up as gay in Burnley in the nineteen eighties. Yeah, she’s not had it quick. She’s occur from a doing work-class qualifications, from the north, and Burnley’s a compact town in the north west of England.

“It was hard for her. At faculty, she had to cover it. And then she’s occur to London, catapulted into a really large-traveling, middle-class earth, where by she’s seeking to struggle and in good shape in and maintain her head higher than water.”

Brian Gleeson on Gabe: “Gabe is a novelist who, when we fulfill him in the tale, hasn’t had everything printed for about ten a long time. He sort of grew to become fairly effective in his 20s, and it is been a couple a long time considering the fact that that. He’s instructing in a faculty and getting by, but he’s on the wane a little little bit. He’s fairly neurotic.”

Is there a trailer?

There is! It starts off with Leila asking Sadie to marry her, before the pair telling the employees at their tech business that they have resolved to consider a break in their partnership.

The trailer finishes with Leila indicating: “Bisexuality is a fantasy. It was created by advertisement executives to promote flavoured vodka.”

The post what you need to know about the Desiree Akhavan comedy appeared first on PrideGuy - Gay News, LGBT News, Politics & Entertainment.

#gay #gay news #lgbt

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dakitcat · 6 years ago

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Happy PRIDE 2018

Have you ever stopped to imagine what it would be like if everyone had to come out?

No matter what your sexuality happened to be. Imagine if you had to come out with it no matter what. Almost comparable to a Christening - maybe not the best choice of comparisons, but you can't sue me for it. We would all get to a certain age at which every single one of our loved ones would come to our hometown, and reunite for a special ceremony: your coming out.

There would be flowers, a pedestal, you wearing really fancy, almost angelical, clothes. Maybe there could even be added a legal part to it, for which you would need an official, and he would add you to the 'public sexuality records' or something like that. The ceremony could be carried out anywhere you wanted as long as there is a closet transported to that location. When the time arrived, you would enter the closet and when the official said the 'words', you would open the door and reveal which sexuality you have decided to go with, since it is a very important decision to take at the tender age of eighteen.

It might sound really unrealistic - because it is - but the concept is still one that I believe worthy of being explored. Because nowadays it is becoming easier to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community (despite all the social and judicial issues still being disputed). More and more people are starting to find it easy to come out, being that the topic has been discussed so much that many have come to accept it, and even normalize it as a simple other way of life - of love. Still, there is a large stigma around 'coming out'. Some people feel as if they have to do it, else they could be seen as liars to their family and friends. But are they?

The way I see it, they are just doing the same thing a heterosexual pal could be doing. They don't feel as if there is a need to announce it to the public because:

1) the public doesn't need to know; and 2) yeah, the public doesn't need to know!

Your sexuality is a part of your identity, and it is also a part of your life, but it isn't your whole definition. You choosing to omit your sexuality (not lie about it), shouldn't be something that you get shamed for. At the end of the day, you don't owe it to anyone to announce who you want to date. Yet I still see so many people crumbling over the pressure of having to be open about the sexuality that has been deemed 'unusual'. Almost as if society has a rule that says, "Hey! If you plan to do anything out of our norm, you have to make sure that all of us know about it so we can best frame our lives with your personal information."

When it came to coming out, it took me a good amount of time, and a humoungous fight with my own insecurities to finally do it. Coming out to people my age has always been easy since I went to school with them, we're from the same generation, and they are not related to me by blood. I believe the first person I came out to was my great friend Noah. Keep in mind that at the time I went with the term 'Queer' because I did not feel comfortable with labeling myself. Then soon followed my most intimate group of friends at school, whom would have found out either way since I was dating my best friend. Everyone was super accepting. To this day, I think only one of my friends had a negative reaction to it, and it had to do with his religion (and I think a little bit of man-pride getting hurt since he liked me for a bit).

For the next year, I did not come out to anyone else. They were the only ones who knew. I took this time to really figure out 'where I fell into'. Because if I were to approach any of my parents, or other adults in my life, with "I'm open minded," I would have instead gotten the label of 'confused phase.'

I did a lot of soul searching; read up on the things that before I thought were prohibited due to the heteronormative life I was used to; really dug deep into my earliest memories of having the feeling of attraction, or jealousy for people.

I came out of the deep dive a lesbian. And it took a lot out of me to be able to comfortably say it to myself. I didn't doubt it because it made sense. It was like a part of my life had always been in a haze, and all of a sudden it became sparkling, crystal clear. Like seeing in color for the first time. All the confusion you remember having in those moments far behind, now fit neatly into the puzzle of who you are.

I told my oldest sister - she was incredibly supportive of me; then my brother on my mom's side - he didn't even get why I thought it would be a big deal; then my older sister - she was surprised but thought it was cool and vowed to be there for me; then my oldest brothers found out in a game of truth or drink - one had a feeling already, and the other thought it was completely fine.

Just like that, the siblings were covered. The parents would soon be the next ones to come. My oldest sister was so dedicated to my cause that she even came out as bisexual at the dinner table to see how my parents would react. I still didn't feel ready to say anything, so I let some more time pass by. The only thing I was waiting for was for it to feel like I was doing it for myself, rather than for the public, or a specific person. And once that moment came, I went for it!

My dad was the first one to know, because he had always been very chill and accepting. We went out so I could practice for my driver's license, and the entire time I would be looking at him, and asking him if there could ever be something that would make him be mad or disappointed at me. He assured me endless times that there could never be anything capable of doing that. So while we were driving back home, and said it, "I'm gay." He had the biggest smile on his face. He said, "Really?" To which I responded yes, and he was like, "I knew it!!! This entire time, you were always saying no to any boyfriends, and already saw it coming. I mean, in six kids, at least one of you had to be gay, I was finding it strange for all of you to be straight." In between laughs he told me that he had my back no matter what, and that nothing could change his love for me. He then lit a cigarette and we went for keebabs. What we both agreed on at the end of the ride was that my mom could be the only possible challenge for me.

It took over a month for me to finally get the guts to open up to my mom. I had already been cornering her for some days, and she already felt like there was something that I wanted to say (since she's psychic with me). While she was out in the balcony having a smoke, I sat there with her. We were talking about happiness and honesty, and at some point it fell into the love talk. She was saying something about being honest to yourself and others is the best way to lead a life free of worries, and I said, "In all honesty, I think I really like girls." Her face didn't show much of a reaction, which made me shit my pants. Then she proceeded to ask, "Is that really how you feel?" And I nodded my head. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? Did you think I would be mad?" And I said, "Of course! - at this point I'm in tears of joy and relief - You always wanted me to marry a rich doctor, and have a huge mansion. I was afraid to ruin that picture in your head." And then what she said next was literally the best. She said, "Well, you could marry a rich, female doctor." To which I almost had a laugh attack over, because of how adorable it sounded. My mom accepted me, yet she only held reservations upon the fact that this could change how some people behave towards me, and somehow she felt as if I would be in danger because of it.

Coming out to my family made it easier to be around them, because I didn't constantly have this huge secret stuck in my mind. Also, I was relieved to have revealed it while I was not in a relationship because then it wouldn't be a huge surprise, and a pickle to process. I wanted it to be a preparatory heads up. The best way to not make people uncomfortable is to not put them on the spot.

I know what I mean when I say that I am extremely lucky. This happy turn out to coming out is not a story many of us share. For those of you who don’t have the luxury to be in an environment where it is okay for you to be yourself, I want you to know that you will be okay. Many other people will love you. Your sexuality does not define you, it is simply a subtle complement to the amazingness that you already possess within you. Never let yourself be shamed, never let yourself be doubted. You are AWESOME! And I LOVE YOU for all that you are, and all that you have yet to become. Don’t give up, please.

#pride #lgbtq #loveislove #gayshit #lifeisworthliving

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