#lesbian jokes

[that-butch-archivist]

source: That's Ms. Bulldyke to You, Charlie! by Jane Caminos

[mykawaiiromance]

so do lesbian bird watchers make jokes about loving tits (boobs and also the type of bird)

because if they dont i think they should start that now.

[gostbat]

I think Stolas is gay (men liker), any lesbian after seeing a mean girl would be like "oaww mama"

[kingcaspian43]

these gems i’ve found in my notes

tw: tiny mention of drugs

—

“Are you a girl or a boy?”

“I don’t know but I’m starting to hear colors.”

—

“I was a good kid.”

“Michael, you sold drugs.”

“Janet, I will push you off a bridge.”

—

“You’re… so angry…. and short.”

“If I didn’t value your company, I’d kill you in your sleep.”

—

“I’m sorry, it’s just that I’m gay and you’re… short… and filthy. It just wouldn’t work out.”

—

“Oh, god, was that expensive?? Please tell me it wasn’t expensive, I’m poor.”

—

“Well, what’s a slut to do when in a room filled with simps?”

—

“She can not be mentally stable.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not!”

—

“Ah, yes. Thou doth shine like a Cullen on the sun.”

— “i’m trying, but i just can’t find my inner silly goofy in these conditions.”

—

“i called my superior an asshat, and now i’m running from the law.”

—

Small goth man wants to eat eyeballs.

[sadwhitegirl-mp3]

turtlenecks to me are the hottest thing ever. like whenever i see a girl wearing one.. immediately wet….

[theeviltwinduh]

So my family and I went out to get pizza and after a finished up some meat lover’s pizza my father leaned over to my mother and said, “She may not like nuts but she sure does enjoy the meat.”

My mother? shocked

My older sister and I? delighted

My little sister? confused

Hotel? Trivago

[eloquentsisyphianturmoil]

They call me Richard because I’m a Dick Van Dyke

[beeesworld]

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[carrianncandyy]

What do you call a gay nonbinary person from the south?

A Queer Agender

[sometranssoup]

Idk if I'm allowed to make this joke but have a blondike

[poorly-managed]

MC: I've never slept with a man, no.

RI: oh a gold star lesbian

MC: yeah I'm super good at sex

Mc- main character

RI- romantic interest

[disastercomingfaster]

[ithappensoffstage]

I am genuinely so worried for all the young horny dykes going into adulthood thinking there's something "problematic" / "wrong" with them for being horny because fucking tiktok lesbians think any horny dyke content is "male gaze fetishistic"

[queerism1969]

[petrichor-moss-and-lightning]

being a lesbian is so dumb. this girl once sent me a photo of a rat she found in a dumpster and i imagined kissing her in a botanical garden

[andstuffsketches]

um, can you play a song with a beat?