#lesbian existence

[cantsayidont]

April 28, 2008. Why "DYKES TO WATCH OUT FOR"? Alison Bechdel explains.

(Sort of jumping around here because even in a fit of self-reflection, Bechdel is easily distracted by the impulse to draw naked ladies.)

[farmerlesbian]

I'm going through and catching up on my readings and thought yall might appreciate this one! Some history and context around the term compulsory heterosexuality.

If you’re queer and on the internet, there’s a good chance you’ve heard of the term ‘compulsory heterosexuality,’ often shortened to ‘comphet.’ While academic and scholarly theories have often made their way into popular culture, this is especially true on the internet, particularly in spaces like Tumblr and now Tik Tok.  Today’s popular usage of the term compulsory heterosexuality has stemmed from several different sources, but there’s one source that stands out as being the most influential. The so-called “Am I a Lesbian?” masterdoc was first posted on Tumblr in early 2018, and since then has gone viral on that site and others, with copies frequently being posted and discussed on Twitter, Reddit, and Tik Tok. The 30-page document was created by a Tumblr user who was 19 at the time, and is essentially a checklist of sorts, or as the creator puts it, “a tool of self-reflection.” The document relies heavily on the theory of compulsory heterosexuality, reassuring readers that compulsory heterosexuality can cause women to feel like they are or should be attracted to men, but that uncovering who you really desire is the key to unlocking your identity. The document lays out the difference between actual attraction to men and the experience of compulsory heterosexuality, as well as listing many common signs that you may have been attracted to women in the past without realizing it.  Since the masterdoc was first posted, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding it, with many sharing how much it helped them figure out their identity (even Kehlani said it helped her realize she was a lesbian), and others critiquing it for ignoring bisexuality. I’m not interested in unpacking that controversy right now, in part because it would take all day and also because I don’t feel it’s necessary to pick apart the impromptu work of a teenager. Instead, I want to dig into the lexicon used in the document and explore the origin of this terminology. 

continue reading

[scifisiren]

The queer longing for the tender mentorship of older women.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[forever-plz]

i genuinely feel like sobbing every time they remind me how much they fucking love lesbians fuck my stupid phlesbian life

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[luckyyharms]

if anyone complains about no agathario I'm going to punch them in the face LOOK AT LILIA LOOK AT HER. SHE'S FINALLY FOUND PEACE WITH HERSELF ANDBHER POWERS. SHE HAS A COVEN. LOOK AT HER

(further rant in tags)

[butchsaint]

i saw a post saying that we will probably see the end of necromancy in alecto, and i felt so sad for a second. then i remembered that animating dead bodies is, in fact, not chill even in-universe.

[soup-mother]

Lesbian subreddits with "trans inclusive" in the rules when a trans woman makes a post: "uh well this isn't about our unique AFAB experience so maybe go back to the trans subreddit"

[ferntern]

Frieda's thoughts on Susan.

[cantsayidont]

1993. The first issue of the indie comic DYKE'S DELIGHT had contributions from various artists, including Roberta Gregory and Leanne Franson, but the highlight is a story by Kate Charlesworth in which Auntie Studs, a middle-aged butch, recounts growing up in postwar England, including her first serious affair with a butch named Lenny, who ran a chip shop in femme drag by day (and thus couldn't quite hide the smell of chip grease) and charmed young Studs' mum. However, it didn't work out:

[sapphic-sprite]

A reminder that lesbians need abortions too. There are tons of reasons why a lesbian might need an abortion so kindly stop saying we are lucky we don’t have to worry about the current state of the US. It’s stupid that I even have to say this and I’m tired of seeing the take that we shouldn’t have to worry about abortion access being taken away in many states.

[its-always-sunny-in-city17]

still thinking about the idea that jadzia wanted to get with kira at the start of ds9 but kira just. was not all there yet.

[macbxth-pdf]

“ Are butches butches because they love femmes? Or because there’s something about our gender expression? It would seem to be just sort of a moved point. Like how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, which came first the butchness or the lesbianism. Except, there’s another one of these great misunderstandings. If you simply identify that butch and femme go together like love and marriage, horse and carriage. Soup and sandwich. Then it leaves out butches who are attracted to other butches. It leaves out femmes who wanna be with other femmes. It leaves out bisexual butches. It leaves no area at all to define why some women are so masculine and yet are heterosexual. To me, being butch doesn’t mean what you do in bed. I mean to be butch on a street, that’s what being butch is to me.”

Butch Activist and Author, Leslie Feinberg

Timestamps for quote: 19:39 - 20:37

[daisylolezzi]

"Feels good, doesn't it?"

"I'm a lesbian!!!"

"That's not an answer to what I asked you. I asked you, feels good... doesn't it?"

"it.... f-feels.... yes~"

"Say it. Tell me what feels good. Be a good girl and be specific"

"y-your... your cock feels... so good... in my pussy-"

"Good girl~"

[haughtwaversblog]

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