#legitimately upset about this btw

[fun-k-boards]

I really love giving gifts to people I wish I knew my mutuals irl so I could send them little trinkets :((

[mattodore]

i can't get enough of them

[tauruswiftie]

it's just me and the 5th century bc guy i have a parasocial relationship with against the world

[myslutwritings]

I RLLY LOVE UR BLOG OMG 😭💗💗 IF U CAN, CAN I PLEASE REQUEST A THING WITH THE FIRST 3 UPPER MOONS WHERE WHERE READER ACCIDENTALLY CUTS THEIR LONG HAIR TOO SHORT AND REGRETS IT? I HAD THE SAME SITUATION BEFORE 😭😭

Aww, thanks honey! and of course! ����

➤ The 3 Uppermoons reaction to your haircut

featuring: Kokushibo [uppermoon 1], Douma [uppermoon 2], Akaza [uppermoon 3]

— A/N: sorry for being gone for so long (again) i tend to disappear and reappear whenever i please. 😂💀

(not proof read btw!!)

KOKUSHIBO

let’s start off by saying that before you even pick up those damn scissors to cut off those voluptuous locks he is IMMEDIATELY stopping you.

Is he doing this because this is his special way of throwing a silent tantrum over the fact you’re cutting your hair and he’s one of those guys who likes people with short hair? NO!

Is he doing this because he’s very observant and knows you’ll fuck it up and then regret it afterwards? YES!

Do you listen to him?

…

No :)

SOOOO you end up cutting your hair.. and.. let’s say it’s a total DISASTER AFTERWARDS.

Horrible would be an understatement!

(at least to you.)

You’re flipping your shit at this point and Koku is just looking at you with a “i told you so” look.

But hey! it’s okay! he still thinks your beautiful no matter what even with shorter hair. He doesn’t care about that and only loves you for you.

You could be bald and this man would still love you to bits!

Kokushibo actually finds it silly that you think he’d care so much about your physically appearance.

He finds you freaking out over it very endearing and now you have to admit you should’ve listened to him since he was right about you ‘fucking up’ your hair.

DOUMA

“Oh my! what happened?!”

Quite literally Douma’s exact words!

He just returned back to his temple from a mission to find a pair of old scissors in your hand and hair stands all over the floor.

Oh, so messy! He isn’t too fond of messes..

But, you know, since it’s YOU, so he’ll let it slide!

Questions what in muzans name you were doing.

Let’s pretend muzan is an expression because it’s funny.

Much like Kokushibo he’ll find it amusing how distraught you are over something so little!

It’s just hair.. why do you care so much?

He still finds you beautiful! not the best at validating your feelings though because he thinks you being legitimately upset over this is stupid.

Always found you being upset by the tiniest of things so dumb but also fascinating.

Douma doesn’t feel anything (so he claims..)

So therefore you feeling so strongly compared to him keeps it entertaining.

But he finds himself feeling somewhat sorry and comforting you in the end..

Strange.

Reassures you that your hair will look great long, medium length or short. he adores every part of you!

AKAZA

Akaza actually likes your hair short!

Not even like.. HE LOVES IT!

Digs it. i’ll tell you!

I feel like he’d like women/men with shorter/medium-length hair.

(Of course he is still attracted to you regardless of your hair style)

Since you’re dating a demon obsessed with fighting..

He actually teaches you how to defend yourself (so that when he isn’t around you’ll be able to fend for yourself)

And fighting with short hair is wayyyy easier! it doesn’t get in the way when you’re training.

Whenever Akaza would train you, you’d always have to put up your hair.

It sorta irritated him because why not just cut it? Or trim it?

Until you finally go through with it..

Shit turned into a whole fiasco. ☠️

You’re upset over it but he convinces you to look on the bright side. attempting to make you focus on the positive aspects rather the negative.

“You’re still so beautiful! Don’t be upset over your hair. it’ll grow back.”

You miss your long hair and regret cutting it and you know it’ll grow back but you can’t help but feel salty.

At least it doesn’t get in the way when Akaza trains you anymore so that’s a bonus.

[syndrossi]

Random question for you...

How would the boys deal if Daemon got hurt (in the Stepstones maybe?) and lost the last few months of his memory? How would Daemon deal with it?

(My current book has an amnesia plot, lol.)

If it happens in the Stepstones, that's over three months of bonding he's forgotten! It would be a lot harder on them than him, of course. For Daemon, once he gets over the disorientation of "why are there a lot more dragonriders here at the Stepstones," he gets a (mostly) happy surprise: he has two legitimate sons that Rhea kept from him. Hilariously, he would now believe his own cover story of her being their natural mother.

He has none of the baggage of the kidnapping attempts and almost losing them, though it sounds harrowing when he's told about it. It is strange that they know him but not vice versa, and he gets to relearn all that they're capable of. (He also gets the WTF revelation of "btw I want you to remarry" from Viserys.)

The boys, OTOH...

First of all, they'd be relieved he's alive. But it would also be difficult because he looks at them like strangers, even though he's clearly over the moon about their existence. He's freshly angry about the Vale's part in their disappearance--perhaps even moreso than before, since he wholly believes that Rhea kept their trueborn sons from him, and that would have required others to be complicit. Fresh vitriol towards Rhea is a given, though at least it's less raw for Rhaegar several months later.

Mostly I think they miss him? Which probably puts an added pressure on Daemon to be what they need (and feeling like he's failing them that he isn't, that this other version of him is), which leads to him playing a part and upsetting both of them in the process. I think it's harder for Rhaegar than Jon, since Daemon has a lot of those rougher edges that he learned over time upset Rhaegar. Jon would miss the closeness and the bond they had, but he would also miss Daemon trusting their competence.

(Like, Daemon in Resonant in general is fairly quick to accept their abilities as perfectly normal, given that they're his sons, but even so, after three months, I imagine there was a greater willingness to involve them in "adult" things, so long as it didn't put them in danger.)

I wonder how long until the first sleepover. *thinks* Probably they give him some space/time to adjust for a few days, then cave to their need for reassurance. It also wouldn't surprise me if the Redfort twins feel much more insecure about starting over from scratch with Daemon and leave them a bit more emotionally wrought.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

I was so impressed with your toe-to-toe comment on the French philosophy anon. So happy to have found you, omg! I heard Taylor called her ttpd set as the "female rage musical." I take it she knows the impact of the song Labour by Paris Paloma which has been dubbed as the female rage anthem. So naturally, here is the 34 year old culture vulture, can't-have-any-ideas-of-her-own that is Taylor Swift hopping there wanting to get the attention away from it when that song is quite phenomenal. One song compared to her 31 diss tracks that's nothing to me, at least, but the excessive sentimentality of an infantile woman in her 30s. It's gross the confessions she's put on that album. And even her own fans are comparing her to Olivia Rodrigo. That's she's copying everything about her - song, outfits, the "female rage" theme just to mock her. Somehow, Swift thinks it would do her a world of good. People are catching on to her antics which are absolutely disgusting, btw. I'm hoping one day you write about all these completely ridiculous gross things she's done using her own lyrics. You know what I mean? I hope someone write about her nasty lyrics and that it completely destroys her.

Thank you ha, I'm glad you found something meaningful in that post. I will not lie, that Anon actually hurt my feelings for a second (I got over it by writing my response), but I was upset at being so misunderstood. I'm not out here levying unreasonable criticism at Taylor Swift. All will be based on reality, or interpretation of her own lyrics.  I’m defs out to get her though- in the most legitimate way possible- and maybe someday I will publish for real on her. I have a couple of criticisms that I will not be putting on my blog- because I want to say it on a bigger platform. : )  

I do see a lot of harmful things in her music that I have been resisting the urge to write about for YEARS! Even back in 2009, listening to "Love Story" I remember thinking to myself, oh this is nothing like what Shakespeare meant and it's also a weird appeal to the patriarchy through the "I talked to your Dad/ Go Pick out a white dress." It's so clear that she's just reduplicating mainstream attitudes on romantic relationships by using Christian Conservative social standards of needing the father's permission to ask the girl's hand in marriage. She obviously wanted to attract the Christian- Conservative fan- base with that song, and that's exactly what happened. Her marketing is tied to the phrases she places inside her songs in a way that is extremely calculating. She, Afterall, learned from the best at attracting mainstream, Christian, conservative fans, Toby Keith (hate that fascist, white nationalist freak). (WHoops, that was mean- oh well, he’s dead anyway). (and if he wanted me to be nice- he shouldn't have been a fascist).  

It's so obvious, and I really figured everyone else was also aware of the ways in which Swift interpolates patriarchal standards in her music. I have many more examples- I could write a whole essay on it.  

Apparently, everyone thought she was a feminist? Bro, she became a "feminist" if only to evade criticism and capitalize on mainstream pop-feminist trends. She's not a real feminist. Her use of “feminism” to evade critique ties directly into her other marketing strategy of telling the world “I’m so innocent and young” all the time. 

Also, her co-opting of the phrase Female Rage has made me angry, exceptionally angry. I saw that she's trying to trademark the phrase. I am incensed. I will post about it soon. 

I wish Swift would stop co-opting legitimate terms and pulling only the most shallow- self-centered conception of the term out to use in her mediocre music. She’s like if Pinterest was a person- and I’m tired of it.  

Paris Paloma’s “Labour” is amazing, because guess what- it actually speaks about the experience of women under patriarchal standards in a way that respects the seriousness of the topic. I absolutely believe that Swift saw how viral that song went and decided she needed to cash in on that too.  

And she is totally copying Olivia Rodrigo. Can you imagine being 34 and trying to act 20? I would die of embarrassment. But it's so obvious that it's getting weird.

I have much more to say on this topic- sincerely I could write a book on the conceptual point of “Female Rage” in media. I have thousands of examples, and I’ve been studying this stuff for years. I will, however, ramble on no longer. Thank you for your kind words- and I hope you enjoy my upcoming writings.

[merp-blerp]

Honestly, the beardings don't bother me much ever. I don't know if it's just because I'm new or what, but they kind of just roll off my back. I guess I've just... cemented it in my head that it's just a business thing, likely, and that Taylor doesn't have to come out ever if that's what she wants (I believe she wants to come out). More bearding moments will come up, that's expected, but that doesn't mean they're suddenly the truth. I personally don't think they are. TK kissing Taylor with a camera shoved in their faces doesn't sway me, it makes me more confident that it's fake because love's not for show to Taylor. Ms. "I would die for you in secret", Ms. "They got no idea about me and you", Ms "older guys, just playthings for me to use" etc. At most, it felt it's most upsetting for me when she changed the Karma lyrics—that was a bit much. But TK yapping about how "happy" he is with her for some reason doesn't get to me. Is that weird? Should it? Joe and Taylor were "happy" too before they "broke up". I mean, Karlie's seemingly pretending to be married with kids to a guy, that's arguably worse (I believe Kar's kids are indeed real and hers, don't get started on assumptions with me, hetlors).

What gets me are hetlor and actual pieces against gaylor. The backlash to the New York Times article legitimately saddened me. To see so many people, especially queer people, ignore/forget/be unaware of the queer history of speculating on others sexuality was really rough; especially when it's still a thing! I see femme sapphics online talk about wanting to express queerness without telling people their sexuality so that other queers can spot them all the time! News flash: that requires speculation, that thing that's apparently so disgusting! And to see the conversation of it be so trivialized as "Don't out people!" or "Don't be gross!" when strangers can't out strangers through speculation and there's nothing gross about queerness. Especially with how mainstream the discourse became—it was upsetting to not be able to get away from it.

BTW, I understand it gets really annoying to see bearding. You're fully valid if it makes you upset, I'm just saying my feelings.

[campyvillain]

sometimes i wonder if my love for writing fucked up gorey stories was just something i gained naturally over the years or if i was just nuts as a kid and always thought that thing was fun

and then i remember when i was younger i played the same copy of animal crossing happy home designer for years on end non stop. what i would do in it is set out to make like the creepiest most discomforting hospital possible. it was my favorite thing to do in that game nothing even came close. but i kept on getting like really really angry that there were no premade blood and gore items to go in my scary hospital like i really wanted nintendo to add an item that was just a dead body in the corner or something i would spend literal hours making my own paintings of dead bodies and blood and skeletons and shit and then i’d get mad at that because it wasn’t a real object in the game or the blood didn’t look convincing enough, i would spent forever deciding on what music was the best for a scary hospital but all the tracks i had were like happy animal crossing music so i’d get mad about that too. whenever i got upset that the game didn’t have enough graphic evil scary skeleton imagery i would just lie down on my bed and imagine a version of animal crossing happy home designer where you could add blood and intestines. not even go and dream about it just picturing a world where that was possible. i think the funniest story i have from this time was me asking my mom if she could call nintendo and ask them if it was possible for them to add. legitimately. a feature where your villagers could get sick and die. just from An Illness. because i thought it’d be immersive for my scary hospital if little charming cartoon animals died forever from like asbestos inhalation or something

so no yeah i’ve always been like this. i was like 10 or 12 during this time btw

[moonyasnow]

The ways in which my OCs are neurodivergent

Bc this is a legitimately big part of who they are as people and I'm not gonna let you forget! My OCs are neurodivergent, some of them mentally ill, and I'm very open about that fact; I really LOVE talking about it actually ^^

I love sharing things like this, especially bc just normalizing stuff is a big step toward wider acceptance of it! And as an autistic person with ADHD, Tourettes and BPD, my own perspective is just so neurodivergent to a degree where I don't really know how to write characters who aren't at least somewhat neurodivergent

Plus...way too few people seem to be actually aware of what a lot of these things actually entail for the people who actually are/have it :,) So wherever I can, I wanna work to try to change that!

Edit:

@babyghoul138 CRAP I FORGOT TO TAG YOU FOR VERONICA—

Tomoe

She's autistic.

You might not be able to see it easily, because she's very good at masking it, but she is.

But you can still see it very clearly when she starts talking about history! Because once she starts, she gets so overwhelmed with excitement about being able to share everything she knows of one of her favorite things in the world that the mask just sorta falls off.

That's a big reason why she's always wanted to be a history teacher; to be able to share that excitement with others, and have an excuse to talk about it and teach others all her favorite historical facts every day.

Btw I'm saying 'is autistic' instead of something like 'has autism' because there is no way to separate the person from the autism, if that makes sense. Autism makes up so much of who an autistic person is (the way we think, the way we grow up, the things we like and are drawn to, how we interact with others on a fundamental leve, etc) that there would be nothing left if you 'took away' the autism.

Irina

She has Borderline Personality Disorder.

Since idk how much the general population knows about BPD, here are the symptoms (taken from helpguide.org)

Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. Even something as innocuous as a loved one arriving home late from work or going away for the weekend may trigger intense fear. This can prompt frantic efforts to keep the other person close. You may beg, cling, start fights, track your loved one’s movements, or even physically block the person from leaving. Unfortunately, this behavior tends to have the opposite effect—driving others away.

Unstable relationships. People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing that each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, without any middle ground. Your lovers, friends, or family members may feel like they have emotional whiplash as a result of your rapid swings from idealization to devaluation, anger, and hate.

Unclear or shifting self-image. When you have BPD, your sense of self is typically unstable. Sometimes you may feel good about yourself, but other times you hate yourself, or even view yourself as evil. You probably don’t have a clear idea of who you are or what you want in life. As a result, you may frequently change jobs, friends, lovers, religion, values, goals, or even sexual identity.

Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. If you have BPD, you may engage in harmful, sensation-seeking behaviors, especially when you’re upset. You may impulsively spend money you can’t afford, binge eat, drive recklessly, shoplift, engage in risky sex, or overdo it with drugs or alcohol. These risky behaviors may help you feel better in the moment, but they hurt you and those around you over the long-term.

Self-harm. Suicidal behavior and deliberate self-harm is common in people with BPD. Suicidal behavior includes thinking about suicide, making suicidal gestures or threats, or actually carrying out a suicide attempt. Self-harm encompasses all other attempts to hurt yourself without suicidal intent. Common forms of self-harm include cutting and burning.

Extreme emotional swings. Unstable emotions and moods are common with BPD. One moment, you may feel happy, and the next, despondent. Little things that other people brush off can send you into an emotional tailspin. These mood swings are intense, but they tend to pass fairly quickly (unlike the emotional swings of depression or bipolar disorder), usually lasting just a few minutes or hours.

Chronic feelings of emptiness. People with BPD often talk about feeling empty, as if there’s a hole or a void inside them. At the extreme, you may feel as if you’re “nothing” or “nobody.” This feeling is uncomfortable, so you may try to fill the void with things like drugs, food, or sex. But nothing feels truly satisfying.

Explosive anger. If you have BPD, you may struggle with intense anger and a short temper. You may also have trouble controlling yourself once the fuse is lit—yelling, throwing things, or becoming completely consumed by rage. It’s important to note that this anger isn’t always directed outwards. You may spend a lot of time feeling angry at yourself.

Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality. People with BPD often struggle with paranoia or suspicious thoughts about others’ motives. When under stress, you may even lose touch with reality—an experience known as dissociation. You may feel foggy, spaced out, or as if you’re outside your own body.

The way it manifests in her is she has the 'Discouraged' subtype

There are 4 commonly recognized subtypes: Discouraged, Petulant, Self-Destructive and Impulsive. They come from which of the symptoms of BPD a particular person with it shows more prominently.

For irina, this means that she suffers more from the symptoms of 'fear of abandonment', and she directs all her negative feelings inside at HERSELF rather than at others. For this reason, this kind can also be called 'quiet' Borderline since it can be hard to tell it's there at all with no outward signs

The Discouraged Subtype is most often characterized by: Avoidant, depressive or dependent behaviors, an intense- sometimes even crippling- fear of abandonment, and always directing negative emotions inward and believing they are at fault. Can also be desrcibed to be operating in 'abandoned child' mode; wanting to do anything to avoid a percieved abandonment.

What specifically causes BPD isn't 100% known, but it's thought to be a mix of childhood experiences and genetics.

I'll talk more about the 'childhood experiences' part in Veronica's part, so here I'll discuss the 'genetic's part...

For example...

I hadn't actually thought about it until a while ago while discussing it with a friend, but It's VERY likely that Irina got, or was at least at a much higher possibility of developing BPD because of her father.

Because looking at the things he did...he'd fit into at LEAST 7 of the symptoms.

All he ever did was either go out drinking and doing drugs (impulsive, self-destructive behavior with no regard for his own health or safety) or stay home watching TV. Both, I think, could very well be an example of that 'chronic feelings of emptiness' thing; he wanted to find something to fill the void with.

I also think he sometimes just bought random stuff he thought was cool, both as another example of that emptiness, but also of the thing with constant shifting self-image.

And unstable relationships, mood swings and explosive anger... There's an OVERABUNDANCE of evidence for that.

Spike

Like I said, I'm not 100% sure about Spike yet... I don't think he's ENTIRELY neurotypical though...

I don't think it's autism...

I'm thinking maybe some sort of learning disability? A few SYMPTOMS of ADHD???

...I don't know...

But there's SOMETHING here...I can just feel it

Junia

Is autistic, has dyslexia and dyscalculia

Her dyslexia and dyscalculia are pretty straight-forward. She has a lot of trouble reading: to her, letters, and numbers too, always just refuse to stay still on the page, shfting and jumping around so much it makes most texts illegible to her. Even though she tried to learn to read...she barely can.

Which lead to all her peers making fun of her when she was a child, calling her stupid for not being able to read or do math.

She's never been super good at reading the room; she can usually discern whether the mood is positive or negative, but not much else. And only really if people are being honest. She can pick up on individual people's moods pretty well though. At least, unless they're actively TRYING to hide it.

She learned to read people's emotions pretty ok because she's very empathetic, and also because her mother's expression was often a sign of if Junia had done something 'wrong' or 'weird' again...and she wanted to make her mother happy, and do things 'right.'

She's quite gullible, and trusting, always believing people have good intentions. She's a bit more cautious than, say, Kalim, because her mother always told her not to trust strangers so easily. But when someone is in front of her, and being nice to her, she just feels bad thinking they could be suspicious, so it doesn't take too long for her to start to become more comfortable around them.

It's happened before that people she thought were her friends were just her 'friends' to make fun of her behind her back.

Often, her trains of thought make no sense to others around her.

She's always liked things other thought of as 'weird'. Like for example having a huge love of flowers- almost all of which don't even grow underwater- and cats- which DEFINITELY don't live underwater. But also things people consider 'scary' like horror! Whenever she's seen a big monster in a story, she's never been scared of it, instead seeing it as a friend.

Because people have always struggled to understand her, and called her weird, she's always felt like an outsider, even when she was surrounded by people. So she feels more at home with monsters, and cats, and most things that AREN'T people. And monsters in particular, because they can understand what it feels like to be different.

In fact, when she was little, she dreamed of marrying a monster, thinking what good friends they'd be.

She doesn't really 'mask'...it's more that she's just silent more often than if no one had ever reacted negatively to her openly being herself. Because of the weird looks she used to get when she spoke her mind, she just...doesn't, anymore. At least, not unless she considers someone her friend.

As an example, she feels comfortable speaking her mind, no matter how 'weird' it might sound, with the rest of the Pop Music Club. Probably because Kalim is likely very similar to her in that regard, and Lilia kinda is too, since fae have a different way of thinking than most non-fae people. It's mostly just Cater who sometimes has trouble understanding what she's thinking or what she means.

Lisle

He has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Info from mayoclinic.org, again, since they're basically my best friend when it comes to this stuff

"Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.

A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial matters. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration that they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships troubled and unfulfilling, and other people may not enjoy being around them.

Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder centers around talk therapy, also called psychotherapy.

Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Some children may show traits of narcissism, but this is often typical for their age and doesn't mean they'll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder.

Symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and how severe they are can vary. People with the disorder can:

Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration.

Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment.

Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements.

Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.

Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate.

Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people.

Be critical of and look down on people they feel are not important.

Expect special favors and expect other people to do what they want without questioning them.

Take advantage of others to get what they want.

Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others.

Be envious of others and believe others envy them.

Behave in an arrogant way, brag a lot and come across as conceited.

Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office.

At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they view as criticism. They can:

Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special recognition or treatment.

Have major problems interacting with others and easily feel slighted.

React with rage or contempt and try to belittle other people to make themselves appear superior.

Have difficulty managing their emotions and behavior.

Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change.

Withdraw from or avoid situations in which they might fail.

Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection.

Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, humiliation and fear of being exposed as a failure."

Lisle is, again, say it with me now, just pretty good at hiding all of this, to the point where most people don't realize this is what's going on in his head. He himself had no idea about it.

I think, after his Overblot, he'd be made to go to therapy of some kind, where he'd start to find out more about this and his own troubles in his personal relationships with others.

I don't think his fundamentally selfish mindset would ever really change; it's just part of him. And since he still does treat people pretty well, for Lisle, it's not exactly something that's TOO much of an issue.

Veronica

Also has Borderline Personality Disorder

She has the 'Petulant' subtype. For her meaning the symptoms that manifest stronger in her are the 'explosive anger'

The Petulant subtype is most often characterized by: Passive aggressive behaviors, directing anger outward, a feeling that it's the world- not the person- who is at fault, unpredictable moodswings, and a need to feel in control.

She feels constantly angry, at both the world AND at herself, often with no clear cause or reasoning.

I'm only just now, after reading through a lot of stuff I wrote her saying as part of other fandom settings, am I realizing just how…I guess 'mellow' Veronica currently is compared to what she used to be when she was younger?

Like… look at these quotes:

"Why do you care? What, is it a crime to read a book now?"

Veronica becomes angry "You— you think I hadn't thought of that? I can't! That's why I fucking asked you in the first place! Ugh, just, forget it! I'll go read a book about it or something." And she storms away.

This was her attitude all the time, on a regular basis, with EVERYONE. Talk to her, no matter the topic, and it's very likely you'll be yelled at, with her taking everything as having insulting or malicious intent, which also handily ticks off the 'feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality' symptom.

She was always just— so angry. Angry because she couldn't really trust anyone but herself, so she was always stuck in 'defense' mode. So now that she actually has friends she trusts and respects, who trust and respect her too, and she has her brother back, it's like she feels more safe.

And she definitely swore way more before NRC, even though she still swears a lot now. Credit to Vil for that.

It really goes to show what a good support system and learning to better manage that anger can do for people with BPD.

And now, for the thing about 'childhood experiences' playing some part of it... Though first- I do think it could be possible that her mother having a few traits of it, such as intense emotions, could also be part of it for Veronica.

But for people with BPD, when it comes to trauma, it's thought that a disruption in attachment at an early age could cause it For Veronica...take your pick, really.

Losing her parents, then her brother, and then her father... Any one of them could have brought about SOME of it...so just imagine what all three of them, along with the disorienting experience of basically being 'thrown out of the nest' before she was ready- being sent to that school halfway across the country, where she knew no one and nothing was familiar to her, after having gone through so many already traumatic losses...and then add to that her original teacher having provided her no comfort.

Victor

Has SYMPTOMS OF Antisocial Personality Disorder

According to the medical website Mayclinic.org:

"Symptoms of antisocial personality disorder include repeatedly:

Ignoring right and wrong.

Telling lies to take advantage of others.

Not being sensitive to or respectful of others.

Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or pleasure.

Having a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated.

Having problems with the law, including criminal behavior.

Being hostile, aggressive, violent or threatening to others.

Feeling no guilt about harming others.

Doing dangerous things with no regard for the safety of self or others.

Being irresponsible and failing to fulfill work or financial responsibilities.

Adults with antisocial personality disorder usually show symptoms of conduct disorder before the age of 15. Symptoms of conduct disorder include serious, ongoing behavior problems, such as:

Aggression toward people and animals.

Destruction of property.

Lying and dishonesty.

Theft.

Serious violation of rules.

Antisocial personality disorder is considered a lifelong condition. But in some people, certain symptoms ― particularly destructive and criminal behavior ― may decrease over time. It's not clear whether this decrease is a result of the effect aging has on their mind and body, an increased awareness of the impact that antisocial behavior has had on their life, or other factors."

Though I would add that, the fact that Victor actually has a very good sense of what is and is not societally appropriate is why I only said he has SYMPTOMS of it, since I'm not a doctor, and thus wouldn't know if that would or would not make him applicable for a diagnosis.

Artemisia

Is autistic, has ADD (like ADHD, but the MIND is hyperactive rather than the body), anxiety, and depression

As her ADD pertains, she has a habit of getting lost in her thoughts quite often. Or a book. She has difficulty focusing on multiple things at a time, and can feel overwhelmed if there's a lot that needs to be done. But so long as she just decides to pick ONE thing to focus on, it usually winds up ok, though it does make her stressed.

The anxiety is mostly SOCIAL anxiety, and for a pretty clear reason, that being her past experiences WITH people. But still anxiety, so I think it counts.

Depression... It's something she's struggled with since she was pretty young.

Shutting yourself into your room for years on end with nothing to do each day except read books doesn't exactly create the best conditions for good mental health.

She's legitimately had suicidal thoughts for many years, since she thought she had no reason to live. She never tried anything, though, because she just didn't want to. For her it more manifested as a lot of escapism through books. That or just sleeping for a whole day.

It's started to get a bit better now though. More stable. Now she has friends like Idia, Silver and Sebek. Idia knows exactly what all that stuff feels like, Silver tries his best to understand despite not having felt them himself, and Sebek tries to get her to do more stuff outside of her room. So she has a lot of supportive people around her, and she's grateful for it.

Because she doesn't want to keep feeling like that...she does want to feel ok.

She's never been good at understanding the emotions of other people. She can understand simple expresssions, but not automatically. It's a bit stilted, like someone who didn't grow up learning a specific language learning to read it; it's a manual process, instead of an automatic one. And since she's unable to pick up on things unless they're expressed in words, she ends up not knowing

She's always been completely unable to understand subtext unless she has it spelled out for her. She's also thus very bad at knowing when she's being lied to. She's so used to living in a world of only her- and she's the type who always tells the truth no matter what, and to her it's just a foregone conclusion that it's the good and rational thing to do- that others being capable of deception isn't a thought that enters her mind often. At least, not when she herself is involved.

Even if she sees a discrepancy in the things someone said and did, she always assumes they must have just misspoken, or made some other mistake, or not realized it. She assumes there has to be a reason for it.

It just doesn't come naturally to her to think someone could be operating in bad faith.

She also has a lot of sensory issues. Her senses of touch and hearing are VERY sensitive. One of the reason she doesn't like crowds is because she kinda has no 'filter' for her ears-- she hears EVERYTHING around her; the ticking of the clock, the humming of the lights, and the conversation on the other side of the room. None of it ever becomes 'just background noise' to her.

And she can't stand it when most people, even those she likes, touch her. She always refuses to shake people's hands because her sense of touch is so sensitive that it often ends up overwhelming her and making her uncomfortable. This also leads to her being unable to wear an item of clothing unless the tag has been removed, because otherwise how uncomfortable it feels is all she can focus on.

Tagging @angelwishess BC ANGEL MADE ME DO THIS-- /hj

[yippie-madness]

Sorry, I didn't mean to say that your world wasn't real, just that you might be interpreting things differently or that your situation is different from most I see. I recommended you improve because it was my belief that you had skewed perceptions, but I don't know that for sure so I acknowledged that in my ask. I personally believe that it is really self-righteous of you to think that you don't need to improve anything. By your blog it seems that you DO hate yourself, but I of course don't know the nuances. I acknowledge that. I also have problems, but I feel like you are insecure about "criticism" I gave, when it was more of an observation and recommendation. Yeah sure, it was criticism, but it was not saying "Your existance is wrong," it was stating a potential to study. I literally am not breaking any laws so technically I do have the right, but I am really disappointed you took so much offense to my ask. I don't care how important I am, I think you should listen to ANYONE'S input and THEN determine whether or not it is useful to you, or you can say "I'm not in a place to hear this" or smth. I have reason to believe that my interpretation is at least moderately correct because I've had to learn how to question my thoughts and come to conclusions based on evidence, you know CBT and therapy and stuff. Plus, I said it might NOT be incorrect, I said you might legitimately live in a different situation! I don't think I have a saviour complex, but since you mentioned it, I will do some introspection. (What gives you the right to tell me I have a saviour complex? What makes you right about me having it?) I actually will take into account what you said, even though I feel like you said it in a rude way. I feel like if I am looking at myself because you said something about me, you should extend the same courtosey. Because I am the person who sent the ask, I can say that you interpreted my ask in a skewed way. You interpreted it as "You shouldn't exist" but I never said that, and as far as I know, it was never even implied unintentionally. You are literally incorrect about me saying you shouldn't exist. That isn't a "my perspective is who I am" that is a mistaken interpretation! In terms of philosophy, I disagree about your statement that a person's perspective is what they are. That said, we are allowed to disagree. I disagree that I'm telling you to change every aspect of your personality. That said, it's possible your personality could change (including improve) if you work on your perceptions. BTW I said perception, not perspective. At the end of the day, you don't need to listen to me, but I feel like you are being immature or feeling attacked. This is literally what I was talking about. You perceived my ask in a way it was not meant and you probably could have saved yourself mental pain if you interpreted it more accurately. Now /I/ feel attacked. I am probably going to come off as mean because I'm upset, so for that I apologize. (I tried to send the ask as politely as possible! I acknowledged that you might be in a different situation! I acknowledged that you might not be in a position to put effort into changing! You don't need to take everything as an attack! This is literally what I'm talking about! That right there was a skewed perception!)

google what a delusion is. im not going to apologise for my response, i stand by what i said even if i would phrase it differently, you have no right as a person who very clearly does not know me (and even if you did know me) to come and treat me like that. people do not owe you politeness, especially when you go and give unsolicited advice like that and ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY when you trigger psychosis or whatever the fuck that was. not everyone is like you and wants to change their personality or perception or any of that. bot that i can change my perception (although i do not know what specifically your talking about) (again google what a delusion is). honestly cannot be arsed going through and responding to ur entire ask, its extremely long and repetitive. this is just ridiculously really.

i tried to kill myself because of you, im not saying that just to make you feel bad but maybe so you learn that your unsolicited "advice" is really fucking harmful. people cannot control how they perceive things, GOOGLE WHAT A DELUSION IS!!! GOOGLE WHAT PSYCHOSIS IS!

[sharpth1ng]

Kid stu hc

I feel like stu would be those really fast talking kids

Loves dinosaurs

Has a very apparent speech impediment

And is always in trouble

And definitely missing a few teeth

Kid Billy hc

Hates being called william

He's a shy quite kid until you mention horror

Stu usually has to speak for him

He definitely does parallel play

Corrects stus grammar

Yeah I agree with all of this. All canon in butterfly eater (which I am planning to add to btw, giving some backstory to some stuff that will be mentioned in wave of mutilation).

A couple more hcs:

Stu steals constantly, little dude is just grabbing random shit and putting it in his pockets. He doesn't steal from Billy though because Billy is protective of his stuff and would be legitimately really upset. Stu doesn't really care if he upsets other people though, so they're fair game.

If Billy starts talking about something he's actually interested in he's one of those kids that sounds like a mini adult, using all of these old fashioned words and turns of phrase he picked up watching old movies with his mom. He even speaks with a bit of a transatlantic accent he picked up from the movies too. This inevitably gets him teased but luckily Stu is both socially capable and rapidly defensive so the teasing doesn't go far

[squib-2006]

Dr pt2 spoiler warning

This was a fantastic set of episodes

• Kai and wyldfire are everything. Kai having to deal with someone who acts like he did in the earlier seasons is poetic justice and funny as hell.

• I also like how they kinda tried to explain why Kai seemed calm after sea bound and nyas seaifcation. I guess Kai meditating with wu would make him calmer. At least it confirms that Kai was upset (even if they didn’t show it)

•I am kinda upset that nothing from skybound was brought up with the Djinn. I personally don’t really like skybound but I still find that it could be used more than just oh yah that happened right wink wink. I mean we had to suffer through skybound for something right?

• I actually really liked sora and nyas whole plot with the Djinns curse. It was fun and had a nice conclusion.

• Coles return is great I love his little gang in the land of forgotten things. My favorite has to be the skeleton girl (I forgot her name probably cuz they only say it like 2 times) she’s funny.

• I do wish there was a scene where nyas like btw I found Cole and the other ninja react. I mean she does mention it at the end but no one except Zane has any real reaction.

• Beatrix going off the rails was really funny. It felt like someone gave a teen with daddy issues an insta death weapon.

• rapton switching sides kinda came out of left field for me. Like the guy isn’t the brightest bulb in the box I think it would be more likely for other characters to switch sides. Also how did he recover from being tased so quickly? Man was out cold and not two minutes later he was up and walking around.

• kinda felt that the whole being sucked into non existence should have had more lasting effects (totally not because I want to traumatize or brutally injure Kai no why would I want that /s) tho fake out deaths are pretty par for the course with ninjago, this one actually didn’t make me feel all that much cuz I knew the moment wyldfire got pulled in that this was a fake out. They wouldn’t kill one of there new characters that quickly.

•so wus just legitimately fudging dead. Never thought we would see the day when this old mad would just peace out. Also ghost wu legit looks like he’s slowly loosing his form or something cuz in the first half he appears with his full body but in the last scene he’s in he’s just a chest and a head. It might have just been a stylistic thing tho.

•I’m not mad jay only showed up for around 30 seconds (this just might be my bias tho cuz jays probably the ninja I care the least about, not that I hate him or anything he’s just not that interesting to me) it’s kinda refreshing for me cuz nya gets to be her own character for a bit and not be completely attached to Jay and Jay gets to take up less screen time (if I am being honest Jay had so much focus in the wild brain seasons it kinda got annoying to me personally) idk if he’s actually lost his memories or if that leak is wrong cuz it would make sense cuz he has not searched for the ninja (specifically nya cuz that man is a simp for his gf) Arin missing him by a second is hilarious to me.

•not sure about how I feel about Lloyd being the linchpin for the entire thing. Part of me thinks that it would have fit the shows themes better if all of them used their elemental powers or something else to power the cores to fix everything. But another part of me understands that Lloyd get main character privileges cuz he’s the son of ninjago god.

•still kinda frustrated that they are changing how elemental powers work. Originally they were from the first spinjitzu master, but the whole source dragon being the source (for lack of a better word) of the elemental powers, it completely retcons and nerfs the first spinjitzu master. It would have made more sense if they still came from the powers of the fsm and were gifted through the source dragons to people.

•the implication of the cursed realm merging with the rest of the realms brings up the question if the departed realm merged to? Does that mean no one can die??? Or is there some sort of force that still keeps the departed realm separated from the rest (like how the people in the land of the forgotten can’t leave) or can some dude just wander in to the departed realm and see like there dead grandma chilling with the fsm having tea or some crap like that.

•Lloyd going I forgot there are two of them now towards Kai and wyldfires antics is peak writing. And all the arson and explosions the two created is just beautiful.

•I think the Kai and wyldfire duo should be called like the arsonist or the kaboom duo

•THE HUGGG!!!! My boi was so happy looking when the tackle hug was done.

•I just cant get my brain to shut up about these two. They give off tired dad who sometimes gives in to his old chaotic ways he’s sworn he’s grown out of and living embodiment of chaos and fun daughter who drags her dad into crazy things.

Tdlr I loved this second half and had a few issues with it but it was still really good.

[anonymous-dentist]

It's been a couple of days since the last QSMP lore stream and merch drop, and there have been two DRASTICALLY different responses from the fandom:

What the fuck oh my god why did they do this what the fuck >:( I'm very angry >:( I'm on twitter btw

Yayyy omg the Lore is back!!! :D :D :D Fuck twitter btw

I've seen SO MANY passive-aggressive posts coming from users on this website that are all saying something along the lines of, "I'm happy that the server is getting back on its feet! The eggs aren't in a coma btw, they're just out of service (looks at angry twitter users who can't get over the fact that things aren't being solved immediately)."

And, really, I think almost everybody on this website has missed the reasons why other fans are upset over the recent lore stream and the merch drop. They think it's all just whining about how things haven't been solved immediately, but it's really actually all about how things don't seem to have been solved at all.

See, the thing with the Egg Lore Stream was that, uh. None of the admins currently on hold know whether or not they have a job, including known egg admin Ryan. You might know them as Sunny's Actor, and they were pretty taken aback when Egg Lore was revealed to be happening last Saturday... without Ryan, or seemingly any other known admins whatsoever, knowing. And Ryan isn't a former employee, they're a current employee. They haven't been let go.

Ryan, and other current employees, have all been stating that communication between the QSMP higher-ups and the other admins hasn't gotten better at all. Nobody knows if they even still have jobs because the only way they find that out? Through livestreams.

Ryan, and any other suspended egg admins sticking around, only found out that they aren't, like, fired because of a goddamn lore stream.

And for former admins? It's interesting how the admin team put Pomme and Dapper in the little coma machine despite Pomme's actor, Lumi, and the French all saying that they'd rather Pomme die than get replaced, and Lumi isn't going back to the server. And Dapper's admin, Shade, isn't going back without Lumi.

So imagine being them and finding out through this stream that, oh, wow, you're just going to be replaced. An entire language group is quite possibly going to be lost, but it's fine! Actors can just be replaced, right?

Just like how Twitter admins can be replaced by a bot after being fired in the middle of the night with no warning.

Oh, and shall we mention how it seems that the whole Money Thing isn't going anywhere? How we had a paid writer admin come out and say that even after the changes were starting to be made internally that the higher-ups changed the writer's description of the Pomme figure to be as soulless as possible, because if there's one thing the QSMP admin team seems to have, it's a grudge against the French. But then, remember? The writer said that, despite being paid for February and being promised to get paid for March, that they haven't been paid? And they don't think they ever will be?

And how they thought they would be fired for speaking to their friends, aka former admins?

I think that quite legitimately every admin that has come out after leaving the company, or who is still part of the company but who still made a statement anyway, has said that they hope that the QSMP can continue because they believe in the project, but they don't know if it will because nothing seems to be changing behind the scenes.

But, yeah, sure, okay, say it's all just people whining about how change hasn't been immediate. It's people just complaining about the lore! They need to grow up, right? They need to touch grass? Right?

But, well. Being critical is absolutely vital. Does that mean people should harass the admins? Absolutely not. But that does mean that people should be like, "Hey, so why is the admin team still being so shady?"

Things can't be fixed immediately, but it's been over a month. The problems with communication are still continuing! They haven't stopped! It's just that nobody on this website is listening to the admins anymore.

Trusting ccs is fine and all, but keep in mind that they didn't know what was going on before, either. With the general lack of transparency still going on behind the scenes, how would they know if it's all been fixed now?

[fierceawakening]

You know, Pratchett is really wise about how powerful people get tempted into misusing their power out of either feelings of superiority at just how goddamn dumb people are, or fear bad things will happen if they don’t. But I feel like he says the same thing over and over, and it’s a bit irritating.

That and… he seems to think that we all have a dark side and that the difference between a good person and a bad person is whether we give in to those desires. (Id say the explanation of this I most liked was in A Hat Full of Sky, but I have not read and do not plan to read everything the man wrote so there may be more famous versions of it.)

Which I think is a great message considering that a lot of people think that bad thoughts make them bad people. Most of us do have bad thoughts! And a lot of us feel bad about them!

But here’s the thing for me personally:

I spent most of my youth thinking “I have bad thoughts and I have to resist them,” and I did it in a way that made me very unhealthy. Because of this, I would personally prefer something more than just “it’s okay to have them as long as you don’t act on them.”

(I really dislike the whole thing I gathered about the vampire in the book I gave up on, and for this exact reason. I just feel bad for the character and profoundly uncomfortable about that, which was disappointing as they were pretty much the only character I even liked a little. Everyone else was too nondescript for me. I could barely tell who was talking once they all started using the same pronoun. Which I could also rant about, btw.)

Where my own therapy seems to be taking me with this isn’t just “have them but don’t act on them.” It’s something like (haven’t fully got it figured out) “have them, don’t act on them, but think about them. Is there anything legitimate they’re telling you, even if what they want you to DO about it is obviously unproductive?”

And where that’s led me at this point is to… where I hoped social justice would lead me, before I realized that it’s culty and creepy and reproduces Us and Them without really offering good ways to shuttle our anger into protecting the vulnerable.

I don’t know if I’m the best at protecting the vulnerable! I’m probably wrong a lot! But I feel like my own rage helps me see where to direct myself better than most other stuff did.

So yeah i can kind of see why he sees not being bad as a kind of temperance, especially since he’s writing parody of fantasy, and “magic makes you powerful so you’re only good if you don’t use it” is a trope. Not really one I like, but one you do see a lot.

But for myself personally… I dunno. Someone give these vampires some willing donors, I’m way too upset for the poor dears.

[cg920fire]

(There's both a TL;DR and a poll at the bottom; the TL;DR is right above the poll btw)

I was discussing about romance in media with a couple of people on a Discord server. I asked for feedback on one of my ships to see if they would fit a comment someone made that romance in media is that it isn't enough to have a healthy romance but the dynamic must introduce something entertaining that compensates for the lost spice and tension.

I shared the description of my ship (basically a F/F OC ship for my Hamlet fic):

Side A (Clytie):

Clytie is a passionate, devoted lover towards her girlfriend, Solana, who loves her back just as much. She treasures Solana and loves her with every ounce of her being. Solana is the sun to her moon, and whenever they're together, Clytie lights up (no pun intended) from her usual dreary personality, bringing out a more playful, snarky side to her. Clytie is extremely protective of her, giving hell for those that seek to harm her and calls off people that try flirting with her. She is aware of Solana's naivety and how gullible she is, making her easy prey in a morally gray world, adding incentive for Clytie to protect her. Sometimes, she's too overprotective to the point that Solana is quite restricted in what she can do and only lessens it if Solana directly calls her out on it. The concept of intentionally hurting Solana is unimaginable to Clytie and if she upsets Solana, she'll apologize profusely and attempt to make up for it..

Side B (Solana):

Solana loves Clytie with all of her heart and is very affectionate towards her. However, the former found the latter to be too overprotective of her and is legitimately concerned that Clytie won't be able to function independently from her. As much as she loves her, Solana doesn't want Clytie to be so reliant on her. Being the saner woman in the relationship means that Solana keeps Clytie on track and has been trying to teach her to not be so dependent on her. She'll speak up if she feels that Clytie has been too obsessive over her.

That person then responded that it's a realistic, pretty healthy and sweet relationship albeit the overprotectiveness might be cliche but it doesn't stand out in terms of appearing entertaining unless it's a major romance that isn't a big deal to worry about.

This ship is what my fic focuses on. It is an angst fic and Clytie is not above revenge like Hamlet.

And more on the fic, this isn't a 100% fluff fic. There are fluff scenes but they're in-between the angst and trauma. This is a fic that's a tragedy and going to have the Major Character Death warning. So, perhaps the sweetness of the relationship is like the light within the grim darkness of the fic and if something happens to it, you know that shit has hit the fan?

TL;DR: Was told that my ship, while healthy and sweet, is not interesting enough to be the focus of my story

[chaifootsteps]

One creator's pet I grew to despise is Marinette/Ladybug from Miraculous Ladybug. What an AWFUL MC. She is an obsessive stalker who memorized the routine of her crush and has the tendency to neglect her partner Cat Noir (Who is Adrien, her crush, btw but she doesn't know)

One of her worst moments was this

https://youtu.be/3KE_fwPOQeo?feature=shared

Which is her being generally creepy and obsessive over what she thinks is a wax statue but her going into detail about "it" smelling and feeling just like him is just...ugh.

And to top it off she's based on a "what-if" child with his ex, Sabine. Even named Marinette's mom and dad after him and her.

Btw, Thomas Astruc is Vivziepop but as a man. Like legitimately the most passive aggressive, shallow, and downright immature person and changes the plot randomly if it is not to his liking EVEN WHEN EVERYONE LOVED IT. What he did to Chloe's character was way worse than what Viv did to Stella and a large majority in the Fandom were upset with his treatment of the characters ALL BECAUSE he didn't like how people were starting to like a character who is based off his bully as a child....so he regressed her into a worse character, gave her a sister that was NEVER EVER BROUGHT UP before hand, and had HER replace Chloe. Btw her sisters name is "Zoe"....and she has NO interesting traits other than to be a nicer version of Chloe. Chloe also came from a very neglectful and dysfunctional family that was only starting to get better so that just added more pain to it all. Chloe gets shafted for being bad while living a rather dysfunctional life, while Marinette who had a rather stable and structured life gets away with being obsessive, neglectful, and ignorant because "She does no wrong". Marinette is the best example for Creators pet.

One last entry for the creator's pet pile, because we do love to see a long list of receipts.

Also, what an unprofessional prick. I can see why you guys are always comparing this dude to Vivzie.