#legit massive mood

[ninjasmudge]

[slides in]

hope youre doing well, this is your excuse to talk about something you've been waiting for someone to ask about, any topic

THIS IS YOUR FAULT FOR MAKING ME THINK ABOUT TRANSFORMERS AGAIN its one of my favourite franchises bc there are really NOT MANY characters who i am neutral on or dont like. ive singled out dozens of tf characters over the years to be the fave for a bit and rotated them in my brain for a few months, its actually easier to list the characters that i dont like than the ones i do. i do have some favs but theres stil like. 10 that i couldnt choose between. probably soundwave, sunstreaker, ratchet, vortex, deathsaurs, tracks, steeljaw (rid), spinister (idw), perceptor, fort max, skywarp, thATS MORE THAN 10 ALREADY BUT U GET IT

i actually have 5-6 a4 notebooks just FULL of transformers drawings, little comics of g1 episodes and character designs and stuff, its all from a few years ago before i started digital art but i should really redraw some of it bc ill never get tired of transformers.

and actually, i was wondering what to draw today so MAYBE some transformers stuff. i loved g1 for how absolutely insane it was, ive never seen a show with so many lines said like jokes that were just. not jokes and usually made GENUINELY no sense. not sure i ever laughed at a joke in that show but i do remember being in literal tears over animation errors, wild lines, weird noises, and plotlines that make no sense whatsoever. do not watch g1 with hopes of getting it, but i do watch it to laugh at the show itself

[maxellminidisc]

Had like some fucking GNARLY mood swings today and frankly that was not remotely fun

[eatmangoesnekkid]

I don’t live my life thinking a lot about money, trying to ‘get’ more money, or not having enough money yet I am not motivated by money either. The act of receiving more money does not make me rush to hurry up and finalize my books or open up my school. I can’t remember the last time I worried about money because having money is an intimate frequency and energy of FREEDOM. You have to break the frequencies of constantly penny-pinching, being stingy, allowing how much money you have in the bank to dictate your mood or living afraid to buy the very things that you need that will expand or evolve you, which is not the same thing as shopping all the time as a coping mechanism for being human, incurring consumer debt or being irresponsible and reckless with your money. And your life force will never thrive when you are a slave or prisoner to money.

The Practical and Spiritual Journey to Making More Money —You Must Enlist Your Warrior and Your Energy

You have to look at earning money like a game and enjoy growing your money and playing the game or else you never win. Not just saving or hoarding it away in your bra but allowing your money to work for you while you sleep like putting it in stocks. I have a degree in Accounting and have always believed that women were born to be skilled in financials but we are socialized to perceive ourselves not. But when you were born with a womb, you are naturally gifted at multiplying a seed into something much larger and intelligent like a whole baby. You are a natural amplifier, nourishing and growing what has been received. Be willing to look into investments and not be afraid of accumulating “healthy debt” and learn to move your money around in order to grow it. Look to investing part of your earnings into different funds, even if it is just cutting back on buying coffee and putting that money you would have paid for a daily coffee into a savings that will accrue and be used to invest in the future. If you already have cash flow, getting rental property to airbnb or sell (everyone I know that is quietly wealth-oriented owns at least 2-3 homes) which can be overwhelming to think about when living pay check-to-pay check but just beginning to think about how you can earn more money from your own money passively gets the ball rolling in your consciousness like what would it be like to open up a laundry mat, build it up and sell it in a few years for huge profit? Laundry mat ownership is such a fast lucrative business, just like what you see in the hood in movies. Or buy a raggedy house, build it up and sell it for a higher cost and incredible profit. Some of you straight and bi women entrepreneurs who are ready for good lovers must find love and attraction with lovers who are builders and handymen and can help to upscale and modernize your home that you can then resale for great profit and stop messing with dusties who have zero skill sets and create more stress on your life. 🙏🏿 Because when you live a highly stressful, parasympathetic, flight or fight life, the first thing you lose is your sexual desire or libido i.e. your umlimited creative power. No thank you!

If you have a spiritual business like me, you can do deals underneath the table but also work towards a LLC to legitimize your company which gives you tax breaks and allows you to earn more money. Something about going through the channels to make something official moves it from just being a hobby to a legit business. As magical spiritual woman, your power move is to attract someone willing to invest in your work as a start-up. If you do, you must cherish this person, love this person with all your heart, hips and soul (if the relationship is romantic but of course it can also be platonic or familial, either way, love this person), adore them deep and true. The person, this angelic being, this God, is saving you massive stress and headache. Their presence in your life serves a larger purpose —you must help them to understand this because our world teaches us to be so fearful and suspicious of being helped or helping someone rather than gracious and honored. Too many people are missing out on great blessings of interdependence because they live afraid and suspicious of the big heart of another human. So sad that many amazing beautiful people are stuck in their little corners hoarding away and missing out on healing, thriving, and experiencing the gifts and/or talents of another human because of how we have been wired to perceive the desire to meet one another’s needs and desires by status quo culture. To be a woman who can love someone in ways that relax their body so deeply that they can finally get out of their head and rest well and regenerate their tissues at night is incredibly priceless.

**This is not the same thing as looking for a handout, walking around broken like the world owes you something or hoping someone will help because you tell a victimization story. It is about being mature and resourceful and consciously manifesting what is needed and not simply what would be cool or cute potentially through love and loving.

But not every woman is ready or qualified for the aforementioned experience because you do have to develop skills that will be greatly useful, nourishing, nurturing, decompressing, relaxing or expansive or beneficial in other ways to another person. You can’t just be attractive or whatever. You have to be a woman who has developed a certain ease and peace in her body and life first and and that is what joining my school and online temple will help you master. And I personally believe you must also really love someone if the harmony is right because 1. love is incredible and healthy for the body to experience for however long it lasts 2. love is essential for the brightest sustained outcome. I’m not talking about the “sprinkle, sprinkle“ foolishness being promoted online. I am advocating for more love between people and all that comes with truly loving someone.

Be so skillful in your mature womanhood that you don't run from challenges, but face and engage them head on, and refine, recalibrate, and evolve beyond them. Never lose the boundaries that you are running a business albeit a spiritual one but still a business. Stay devoted and disciplined, both are essential. Work towards hiring people who can help you scale and grow eventually.

The Spiritual Journey to Making More Money—You Must Invoke Your Lover

The key to having more money is to learn to surrender and trust and truly allow the universe to be your provider, which is not an intellectual idea but a frequency of feminine energy. This is less about gender and more about the willingness to live a little bit beyond the egoic surface layer of reality of urgency that tells you to hurry and produce, to hoard or take or trigger you to constantly need to check off a to-do list, always needing to plan or to cross your t’s and dot your i’s which will allow you to buy that nice house and cute car eventually, but could greatly inhibit your energy from flowing where you never really can feel the joy of a simple moment pulse up your spine because you live in stress and overwork for external things that never make you fully truly happy.

No matter what stage of life you are, the undercurrent of your reality must feel like more relaxation and freedom if you want to have more money but not exhaust yourself in rigorous pursuit and constant labor for it.

I had to learn to draw in the frequency of freedom—to laugh at myself, to play, to rest, to relax, to do silly shit like twirling throughout my day —when life was very stressful, drama was high, and money was low. Neighbors would see me twirling. I would sometimes twirl for customers whose shopping totals were over 200 dollars. Because changing frequencies or weaving new realities is most potent when life is hard. You have to discover strategic ways to do the things you really want to do in life but was told you couldn’t afford. You must also have this hunger and desire to play the game of life to win while laughing at yourself along the way as you refine more and more and develop intimacy with the currencies of relaxation, love and freedom, which naturally include having more money.

But do not just copy and paste and take from others. Give. —India Ame’ye

Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.

Kahlil Gibran, Mirrors of the Soul

Chapter: The Money Drop (unedited)

[hannyoontify]

how your relationship with seventeen was revealed

warnings | reader wears nail art for minghao's part

notes | reader is also an idol, kinda unrealistic in some parts but whatever js let me have this one LMAO, not proofread

seungcheol – an interview

he thought it was high time to reveal your relationship to the world. after (a lot of) discussing with you and receiving your permission, he mentioned you during an interview for a magazine shoot. the question was smth around the lines of "what do you do when you have a particularly bad day" and cheol casually said "i go to [name] for comfort. they're a really special person to me and always cheer me up whenever i'm feeling down. i'm lucky to have them." with an absolute love sick smile.

safe to say, twitter almost crashed after that interview was released and you confirmed it on a livestream js a couple days later. (both pledis and your company were not happy but fuck them)

jeonghan – your hair color

your company's very big on self-expression when it came to physical appearance, so they never forced a hairstyle / makeup / clothes on you or your members. you were free to dye your hair however you wished, and you mostly kept it natural. until you met jeonghan. a couple months into your relationship with him, jeonghan came up with the idea of matching hair colors. he often had to dye his hair for comebacks, and instead of dying your entire head, he suggested that you would only get a single, visible strand of hair dyed in the same shade. you loved the idea and no one really noticed, not even your own company, until a eagle-eyed carat pointed it out on tiktok. the entire kpop community knew you and jeonghan were close since you both guest mc-ed together before and one of your members were close with seungcheol. and it seemed legit. the entire internet blew up and it even became a trend among couples. your companies both released a statement just a few weeks later, confirming the allegations.

joshua – his podcast w/ vernon

there was a question sector of the podcast he hosted with vernon where carats could submit questions via twitter and he and vernon would answer them. he saw a question that asked about their thoughts on your group's most recent comeback, and vernon managed to sneak in a few praises, complimenting the composition of one of the bsides before shua began a word vomit of praise, specifically for you. he complimented how much you improved since the last comeback and how good you looked in the music video, the teaser photos, the most recent stage, basically everything. he was so busy talking that he didn't notice the massive side-eye vernon was giving him and once he stopped talking, joshua physically slapped a hand over his mouth because oops.

no worries though, you thought it was funny and thought it was high time that the two of you revealed your relationship. joshua got clowned for it a lot though, especially by vernon.

junhui – instagram

the two of you tried your best to time your posts so nothing seems suspicious. for almost a year, your pictures from cat cafe dates to museum dates and late park dates went unnoticed by fans. that is, until your group went to japan recently for a short trip for promotions and jun tagged along since he had no schedules for 2-3 days. you found a cute convenience store during a late night walk with him and took pictures. some on your own, some of only him, and some together. except this time, the two of you forgot to talk beforehand and you both posted the photos on the same night.

your manager scolded you for being so careless, but truth be told he didn't actually care. he thought it was funny and only had a word with you because as your manager, he had to. (he already knew beforehand and thought you guys looked super cute together)

hoshi – seungkwan

you and hoshi were having a movie date night but you guys weren't particularly in the mood to actually watch a movie so the two of you just fucked around the whole night, prank calling different members to see how they would react and watching instagram reels (because hoshi swears by them and thinks they're better than 'that stupid clock app'). (the funniest reaction you got so far was mingyu, who was half asleep when you facetimed him and asked him if his refrigerator was running. when he responded with a groggy 'yes', hoshi said that he better go catch it and mingyu actually dropped his phone to go catch it.) the next victim was seungkwan, who you didn't know was doing a weverse at the same time. when seungkwan received the incoming facetime call from hoshi, he grinned and decided to accept the call by showing the camera his phone screen. what he didn't expect was to see hoshi's arm wrapped around you and his chin tucked onto your chin when he answered the call.

when seungkwan accepted the call, the first thing you saw was a reflection of you and hoshi, and you recognized the familiar flow of comments flying past the unfamiliar phone screen at an incredible speed. you dropped hoshi's phone in sheer panic and glanced over at your boyfriend who looked as equally panicked, his jaw basically reaching the floor. poor seungkwan began fumbling for a random excuse but it was too late now. the cat (tiger) was out of the bag.

wonwoo – via the company

wonwoo never thought there was a point in hiding your relationship from the public. he was with the person he loved and what a few jobless netizens had to say about your relationship wouldn't change that. after a couple months of 'testing the waters' and seeing how far the two of you would commit to the relationship, wonwoo just straight up went to the ceo of pledis and went 'yo i'm dating [name] from [group name] and you can't stop me' (with your permission of course, and you did the same thing) after a lot of discussion with both your ceo's, the companies agreed to simultaneously release a statement to the public about your relationship with wonwoo.

woozi – his lyrics

we all know woozi projects everything that's going on in his life through his song lyrics. yk those posts where people are like "i need someone to break bruno mars' heart again" bc his breakup songs are so good? it's like that. the latest seventeen comeback is FILLED TO THE BRIM with love songs and everyone and their mother is like "what the fuck is going on" because woozi's written love songs before but not like this??? the lyrics seem so much more deeper and personal, and the listener can almost feel woozi's heart and soul being poured into the lyrics and melody. woozi personally denied anything on a weverse live but people caught on once he released a mixtape of a love song and the lyrics contained a physical description of a person that was a little too similar to you.

minghao – books (and nail art)

minghao likes reading books. you like reading books. that doesn't mean you're dating, right? so many people in the world love to read books, that doesn't automatically make you lovers, right? ... right, except you read and post about the same books minghao reads and recommends to carats. even then, that could've been a coincidence, right? you just have similar taste in books.

wrong. you made a silly mistake of saying on a live how all your favorite books were recommended by a super close friend that you held dear to your heart. still, you can just be friends with minghao, right? wrong again because fans noticed that you had matching nail art with minghao's, the signature 8/infinity sign on your nails. there was no point in being in denial any longer.

mingyu – instagram

another silly little mistake. he recently came back from a trip with just you and him, and naturally, he wanted to upload some photos to instagram for his lovely fans to foam at the mouth scream over (he knows the power he holds). he was lying in bed (next to you), ready for bed as he scrolled through chose different photos to upload. what he didn't realize was that he had also clicked on a photo of you and him kissing in the dark, under a streetlight. it was a classic, romantic kiss. his hand was resting on your lower back, your arms wrapped around his neck as he dipped you, your leg held up by his other hand. almost immediately after posting, mingyu set down his phone and went to sleep in your arms.

the next morning, he woke up to about 56 missed calls from his manager, a BUNCH of weverse notifications, and 300+ messages from the seventeen group chat (that came back to life for the first time in almost a month and it wasn't js seungcheol talking to himself)

dokyeom – weverse live

dokyeom is surprisingly not shy when it comes to his relationship with you. after a few serious discussions, the two of you ventured out to the streets of seoul in broad daylight, your hand tightly entwined in his own, but no tabloid or news outlet seemed to catch whiff of it. dokyeom was frustrated because he wanted to show you off to the world, tell everyone that he was yours and you were his, but no one was bothering to expose it. so he decided to take this matter into his own hands. after receiving permission from both companies, he started a weverse live–with you. the two of you sat side by side, awkwardly waiting for more and more viewers to enter the livestream. obviously the entire internet went insane when dokyeom held his hand in yours and said with a proud smile that the two of you were dating and would appreciate all the love and support. and the internet officially lost it when he pressed a kiss to your cheek, which made you blush intensely.

it was cute, and even his manager–who was sitting behind the phone–was smiling as he watched the two of you together.

seungkwan – an entertainment show

similar to joshua. a couple members from your group were guests on a show that seungkwan was a regular cast of to promote your upcoming comeback, and of course they already knew that you were dating him. before the recording, they were teasing him (they're all already very close) and kept mentioning your name, which made seungkwan turn into a bright red tomato. during the recording, when it was time to promote your group's most recent comeback, your group members stood in the center of the room and gave a little sneak peek to the choreo of the title track, which seungkwan followed to with on the side (people didn't notice this until the airing of that episode–and an fyi, this was before their official comeback). and when the time came to the talk about the production process, seungkwan immediately began to ramble about how much you improved on your live singing and how proud he was of you. he also talked about how you talked to him about how much you struggled with the change of concept and how you pushed through those hard trials. he also couldn't forget about how good you looked and how the concept change looked really good on you and the new makeup look accentuated your eye color. at the end of his very long speech, seungkwan realized what he just did and sank into his chair with his bright red face buried into his hands.

vernon – vernon being vernon

vernon did a vernon and randomly revealed it on a weverse live, almost giving his poor manager a heart attack. he was reading through the comments when he randomly said 'by the way, i'm dating [name] from [group name]' HIS POOR MANAGER. HAD A MINI HEART ATTACK BEFORE TURNING OFF THE LIVE IN A PANIC. the following day, pledis released a statement, confirming vernon's impromptu confession.

dino – dispatch

my poor boy was the only one who fell victim to dispatch 😭 he was so careful not to get caught because he didn't want you to receive any backlash. specifically went on dates later in the day so the two of you wouldn't be as easily recognized, trying to stay home as much as possible, covering up as much as you both could. but eventually, dispatch caught the two of you hugging at the entrance of the hybe building at 11 pm. first, weird. why were they watching you guys at 11 pm. second, seungcheol was so relieved that the secret was finally out because he was running out of excuses as to why dino was almost never at home anymore.

reblogs and feedback is always appreciated ^-^

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday my lovely readers :) We’ve reached the episode that rocked me to my very core. Honestly haven’t been this attached to a ship in a very very long time. Years passed without this level of attachment. Bringing out sides of me I didn't think existed. Like doing reviews. But our ship is something special even when they rip our hearts out. I blame Eric and Melissa LOL They are INCREDIBLE in this episode. The both of them. Brought their A game and then some.

This ep legit affected my mood for 3 weeks no joke and utterly destroyed me. I needed extra days to decompress before did my mini. The fandom was so lovely about that too. Love this fandom so much. I still don't know how I got that out tbh lol Also God Bless my bestie D for going through that with me. I got to watch it early that day which normally didn’t get to. Was usually after work. I remember D wanted to stop me but didn’t cause she couldn’t tell me why..

I had to go to a company meeting after and pretend I wasn’t devastated. Be a positive fun leader when inside I was dying. I did a good job my team had no idea lol But damn that was tough. Never been happier for a 3 week break than after this one. We all needed it. Let us begin. And thank you all again for going through this heartbreak with me. Gif count was rough for me so I fit in everything I could and made a ton.

6x06 Secrets and Lies

We start out with Lucy looking as stressed and anxious as we’ve ever seen her. Laying in bed but most definitely is not resting. The brutal toll this situation has taken becoming visible. When Tamara asks how stressed she is from 1-10? Lucy answering 19….Ooof....Could not be more relatable if she tried. When I get this laser focused I too am a nineteen. Her person has been radio silent for days. Her last contact with him was a massive knock out drag out fight.

This is the most time they’ve spent apart since they got together. Like I stated last review other than 6x01 they've scarcely been away from one another. Her UC mission in 5x21 yes but doesn’t really count. They talked every single day. So it’s truly the longest they’ve been apart. No wonder she is at a 19. Poor Lucy. Kills me. Such a wreck without him. Tamara asks if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy tries to defend their situation. Not well but she sure tries lol

Lucy is barely keeping it together and it shows. I love that we get a shot of her pin-up board from that BTS video. The cupcake poster hehe Hopefully that makes a triumphant return in s7. Tamara doesn’t want to add to her stress... But let's her know she wants to move out. With friends from school. Worst timing ever. It makes sense but the timing is horrendous. Lucy takes so many hits this season. It’s almost worse the second time around somehow.

This time Lucy goes to an actual adult about Tim. Not useless Nolan who was painfully inept for her. Couldn’t fit it in but we see her touch her tattoo when she approaches Angela. *heart clutch* I love Melissa for doing it every time though. So subtle yet impactful. Nice little mini gut punch to start the scene. This was the right call though. If anyone knows Tim like her it’s Angela. Lucy asking if she should alert Grey? Honestly she should've but here we are. That would've been a whole other set of problems though...

Lucy feels like she’s going insane so Angela validating her helps. (at first) You know she finds this behavior of his incredibly alarming. We can see the immediate worry painted across her face. That’s her brother. She loves that man like he’s one. What sucks is that, even though Angela is empathetic, she doesn’t fulfill the needs that Lucy is going for. Which is reassurance and 'Hey let’s do this together.' A united front. Hoping since he is acting off Angela's reply would be 'Let's find out why as a team.' She is protecting her but Lucy is in a heightened emotional state and doesn't see that. Only see's being shut out further from Tim.

Angela plays her cards very close to her chest. Like a good detective would. Sadly Lucy wanted more solace than just ‘Trust him.’ That’s all she’s been doing for days. Poor woman is going out of her damn mind with worry. Even tells Angela as such. The reply she gets back not what she wanted… She wanted her detective gut and friendship. Unfortunately she just gets the former. That short lived validation she got earlier dying off quickly. Lucy is so damn upset when she takes off from the convo. Knowing if she sticks around she’s going to cry on shift. My damn heart. Melissa be killing me. Holy hell.

Angela scaring the crap out of Tim is hilarious. Serves him right tbh. This episode had me so upset and twisted, I couldn’t even enjoy scruffy Tim in a leather jacket. You know something is wrong when I can’t gawk over this man. Angela has zero trouble finding him. Because well it’s her. This is why Lucy enlisted her. She needed the best to help her. Such best friend behavior from the minute she enters his car.

Drinking his soda, calling him out, and asking WTF is going on? I adore her brazen bravery. This is why we love Angela Lopez. Willing to get herself fired for him. That she can take the hit not Lucy. I mean she’s not wrong….Angela could easily live off Wes. She would hate it but she could. It's a more viable option. Says it can be ‘Wine o’clock for her.’ LOL I always enjoy them. More of them in s7 please writers.

Tim doesn’t argue with her reasoning. Starts to explain the whole Ray debacle. Why he can’t just let him go. What he has on him. That he needs to catch him in a new crime. So he has reason to actually arrest him. Once Tim fully explains Angela just replies. ‘I’m in.’ Tim is shocked because of course he is ha Even though she is his best friend he can't believe has his back like this. Oh my broken boy. He double checks and asks if she’s sure? Her reply being the absolute best. ‘Yeah. I got your back boo.’ Hehe Lucky she’s your best friend my love.

We rejoin our bestie duo at the docks. Scoping out Ray on whatever back door deals he’s doing. She is studying Tim hard in this scene. It’s the best. Angela tries to impart some logic to Tim. Saying he’s followed Ray for two days and nothing. Asking how long he’s going to do this? Tim replying the most Tim Bradford reply. ‘As long as it takes.’ Angela is on her game today and doesn’t let him get away with it. Saying he’s just going to walk away from his job? From his relationship with Lucy? All to arrest a guy he hasn’t thought about in over a decade?

Something isn’t adding up for her and she is letting him know it. Angela gives her patented look. Knowing it’s something more. There’s a reason she’s such a good detective. Woman knows how to get to the root of things. Tim has only given her surface info at this point. Definitely not enough to justify this crusade he’s currently on. Let’s him know Lucy would understand why he lied on the report. She would even commend him for it really. We know she would. She love his soft heart so much. Tim agrees and says she would still get in trouble for knowing and not reporting him to IA.

A risk she would gladly take if you’d let her Timothy… It’s here Angela digs a little deeper. He gets a second stare. Tim finding it aggravating and telling her as such. Angela let's her next truth bomb drop. Saying he’s doing it to protect himself as much as her. That there’s something he’s not admitting. Mic drop. Nailed it and Tim knows it but won’t entertain it further. Has him dead to rights and he knows it. We then get the glorious BFF line. Like it or not she is. lmao Has your number just like your girl.

We return to Angela’s for Tim to break our hearts some more. Theme of this episode. One punch after another. Literally no time to breathe unless you check out during the other SL's. Which I did tbh.... They’re alone so she probes Tim further. Knowing that it has to be so much more than a report. He wouldn't let Ray get under his skin like this if it was that shallow. That he's bearing the weight of something on his soul. Tim gives in and begrudgingly explains what happened. That he had been squad leader most of his tour. That he was looking to move up to Sergeant First Class. Only caveat was he couldn’t have any rampant criminality in his unit.

Ray was in the way of this. Tim decided to keep it within the squad if they caught him themselves. He did an unsanctioned mission… Oh Timothy….He explains how Ray called in an air strike on them. Did this the minute he knew he was trapped. Schmuck would rather take them with him. Such a cowards move. The way Tim describes the air strike. Ugh my heart. His eyes filling up as he depicts how the world imploded around them. Eric is a master of emotion here. So expressive. Looks like he is right back there, with the most haunted look on his face. He thought he was going to die. Being so vulnerable I wanna hug him.

He and Mark were lucky though. The Humvee took the hit for them. But Henderson and Coyle were ripped apart….Ugh and now we see what he’s been bearing. That he led his men to their deaths. Their loyalty and faith in him had cost them their lives. All because Tim was in pursuit of a promotion. For personal glory. Explains why he wouldn't praise himself or take awards pre-Lucy. Or advance his career before her either. He didn’t feel he deserved anything good. Because the last time that was important to him, he got two of his men killed. Imma go cry now.... My poor broken boy. The PTSD is so real.

Eric continues to rip my heart out. Telling Angela there was so much blood. I can't imagine seeing that. They for sure thought Ray was KIA. No way he survived. It’s the way he catches his breath, tears in his eyes in this next part. I'm so upset for him. The way he points at himself when he says leadership. The failure and shame he feels for what he did. When we found out it would be his military background I was excited. I knew it would be dark though. Whatever this was. But my god. I wasn’t expecting it to be this. But makes perfect sense why he’s kept it from Lucy. He can’t bring himself to forgive what he did. How could he expect Lucy to? To still look at him like he’s the same man she fell in love with?

The deep rooted shame is evident in this scene. This is quite the weight to keep on your soul. One I’m sure he’s never told anyone. Not even Isabel about I bet. My guess is he buried it once he was state side. Like most do with trauma. Hoping it would never resurface. Sadly not how trauma goes... The way he tells the story it’s for the first time. You can tell. He’s right back there re-living it all. This scene gives us so much insight to Tim as a person. Why he is the way he is as a cop. As a person. It explains why he lost his damn mind in 2x01 over Lucy falsifying the report. Probably brought him right back there.

This is a very revealing scene. It makes sense why he shoulders things alone. It’s punishment for what he did. Doesn’t think anyone could love him enough to shoulder it with him. That breaks my damn heart. This ep makes me so emotional. *sad sigh* Nothing scarier than the person you love seeing you at your worst. With his background of abuse, it makes sense why he’s hidden this from Lucy. He doesn’t feel worthy of the comfort she would bring him. Only shame that he made a mistake. Tim is very self loathing and this is why. Coupled with his childhood it makes so much sense why he is the way he is…This one is emotionally heavy af. All his unchecked trauma barreling through like a bullet train in this ep.

Lucy arrives home and Tamara is there to take care of her. Saying she ordered pizza. I love this. She needed this. Lucy leaves the room to drop off her stuff. We hear a knock at the door and it’s Ray.... Earlier he scanned Tim’s vehicle and got Lucy’s address. Which made me sick to my stomach. I knew him grabbing it was going to end this way. Best way to get to Tim is through his heart. When Tamara opened the door and it was him..The hairs at the back of my neck stood up. Tamara calls out for Lucy. She emerges and goes into protect mode right away. Eyes on Tamara first but also hating her gun is locked up.

Heart was in my damn throat the entire time. Lucy handles herself like the bad ass we’ve all come to know and love. Commend her for keeping herself composed when she was terrified. I also adore her not putting up with any of his scare tactic BS. Her line about the only call she’s gonna make is for the ambulance. Like hot damn Lucy. Way to protect Tamara and yourself. It's true she could take his scrawny ass easily. I long to be the confident BAMF she is.

Doesn't hurt she’s still got the rage burning from being in the dark. So not only is her life being threatened now Tamara's is. This is Lucy's FINAL straw. It’s now bled over in the worst way. Not only that but she still has no idea what’s going on. We can see that mama bear come out loud and proud. It’s one thing for her to be involved it’s a whole other thing with Tamara dragged in. This is what pushes her to reach out To Tim. To cut his crap. Whatever this is has now endangered an innocent life. One she loves fiercely and will die to protect.

Lucy RAGE calls Tim and unleashes hell. As she should… Demanding to know where his ass is. Tim knowing he can’t hold her back any longer. So he lets her know. I mean Lucy is million percent done with this crap now. With his behavior, him cutting her out, all of it. So very very done. Rightfully so. I do love him answering ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ Knowing she wouldn’t be calling unless something was. He for sure would’ve dropped it all to go to her.

But she was way too pissed to see that fact. She shows up like a bat out of hell. Biting his head off immediately saying 'Does she look ok?' No….she does not. Forever love Angela escorting Tamara out of the room. Mom and dad about to have it out so let's go. The concern all over his face kills me though. This was the last thing he wanted to happen. The very thing he was striving for by shutting her out backfired horribly. Not only did he endanger her but Tamara too.

It was Lucy’s final straw and she is showing it. These were the types of fights that are needed though. As much as this hurts she is fighting him to save them. Because he is worth the bother and effort. Just like he stated in 5x08. Asking why her and Chris never fight?They’re fighting against each other to protect one another it kills me. Also you know your ship has chemistry when even their fights are lightning in a bottle goodness. Just as amazing as their happy stuff. I can't speak enough to their fantastic on-screen chemistry. Even though this fight is fiery and hurts to watch it's hurts so good to watch them hash it out.

Tim explains who Ray is and Lucy don’t give a single fuck. It’s not who he is that has her raging. It’s him cutting her out that is. I love the movements Melissa does in this scene. I know she had an interview about her being mad. Thinking she was awkward. It wasn't at all. Was so real. I think she nailed it. Her body language is on point. How she stamps her foot. Shouting how who Ray is doesn’t explain why he iced her out. At all. She is VIBRATING with anger. Yelling at Tim to stop protecting her. Which he won't. That is like asking him to stop breathing tbh. He would rather die than not protect her. Ugh his reply of ‘ I can’t. I won’t.’ They’re at odds with the deepest part of their souls. Of who they are.

Tim will never stop protecting her. Just as she will never stop trying to help him. Been in her DNA from the jump. For him to not let her is just as painful as Tim not protecting her. *sigh* This is where their intense need to protect each other backfires so badly. Sounds romantic and sometimes it is. But in these type of moments, it shows the cracks in their already fractured communication. It real though. Communicating is HARD. Especially when you both come from abusive homes where that wasn't taught. If you aren't taught healthy communication you're just not going to do it. Simple as that. It's like a muscle that never gets used. Then when it does it feels so unnatural and painful.

These two are going to be the death of me. Hell they already have been. They have so much to work on in s7. It’s insane. I'm excited for it though. Lucy then brings up how Lopez was read in but not her. She is HIS PERSON. If anyone should be read in it’s her. Consequences be damned. Yeah Angela does have less to lose but that is NOT the point. Tim is clearly not getting that fact. I adore Lucy grabbing his hands during the end of the scene. Mirroring back she 'Can’t and won’t' not help him. Telling him she is over being to good girlfriend. He’s going to let her in NOW. Oooh lord. You Tell 'em Luce.

Their OP to foil Ray goes off without a hitch. Tim tells him it’s over. That there isn’t an air stroke to save him this time. Ray tells Tim ‘I am the air strike. I’m about to blow up your whole life.’ *grumble* It’s so true on many many levels. Watching Tim be so stoic in his IA investigation kills me. Wish could've fit this in. Eric be out here again making me emotional af two eps in a row. You can see the tears in his eyes but the rest of him is controlled. That military background of his coming in clutch.

it pains me to watch him lie and have it destroy him. I remember I saw people saying how could he lie? That’s not like him. Um no. This is very like Tim. Not to lie but to protect those he loves. If lying protects Lucy and Lopez that’s what he’s going to do. He has a history of being a little gray for those he loves. Isabel is a good example of that. All that went down with Detective Murphy was similar to this. ‘Some things matter more.’ Once again rings true with him. Tim is believed over Ray. Because even if Tim doesn’t want to believe this he is the better man.

Better reputation and Percy closes the investigation. Have missed him. But whoever he’s around it’s not good. Love the actor though. What happens after is rough to say the least. Never seen Grey as disappointed in Tim as he is here. Reprimanding him and having to report him to Pine SUCKS. R.I.P. Metro Tim. I loved you so…It’s killing Tim to have Grey look at him this way. Deeply respects him and to be scolded by him cuts him. Just dismisses Tim without further comment or fight….

God almighty the song playing in the background. I don’t even remember it. I only watched this scene once. I think I blacked out a lot in this moment. The immense shock rocked my system. Suffice to say it’s beautiful. The piano, the haunting oohs and lyrics are the perfect backdrop to this devastating scene. I felt this building anxiety watching this scene. Waiting for the hammer to drop. When she pulled him into her arms *phew* It was first breath I had taken in nearly two episodes. These eps had me on the razor's edge of sanity. I love her waiting outside for him and instantly pulling him into her arms. Just like Tim did for her in 5x22. I'm fine.....Imma cry as I write this. Horse heaven playing in my ears right now. Adding to my emotional state. These two getting me all weepy.

I’ll be honest I thought if a break up was coming, it was coming from Lucy the first time. Which is why this devastated me like it did. Having the full season in hand now. Makes total sense it’s Tim. At the time I thought would be her. But that wouldn’t be like Lucy at all. After everything he put her through. The secrets, the lies and shutting her out. She had every damn right. But she loves this man unconditionally. So unconditionally. Everything Lucy does in this scene is a reflection of that unconditional love. There to pick up his broken pieces despite all of that went down. Look at her in those gifs above.

Especially that second one. First time she took a breath too. So grateful to be here for him in this moment. I truly thought ‘Oh. Maybe we’re ok... She’s hugging him.’ Encasing him in her arms. Trying to absorb all of his hurt. Supporting him the way he sought out days previous. Gently cradling him against her. It's the tender way she nestled her fingers at the back of his head that gets me. Tapping into some ship crack for me there. *phew* Honestly thought with her being there for him they would make it out unscathed. I truly did. The chemistry from this hug is unreal btw. Tim doesn’t feel worthy in the least. The way he slumps against her. Doesn’t really hug her back like normal. Can't see Lucy is so willing to absorb his hurt and pain. To love him through this. This hug is beautifully tragic.

Lucy releases him and he looks as broken as I’ve ever seen him. 4x09 x 1000 tbh. He shirks away from her. Hands in his pocket. So disgusted and ashamed with himself. Something l've learned in Pilates is posture and the importance of it. When you stand tall and at full height. You are confident and sure of yourself. When you are slumped it presents a lack of confidence, shame, and feeling unworthy. His posture is screaming that. Like he feels he shouldn’t even be in her presence right now. He crushes me with how he says he lied about everything.

Then sarcastically almost sardonically follows it up with ‘But hey it saved my job….’ The amount of disdain in his voice is gut wrenching. The whole reason he was in this Ray mess was to further himself. To keep his career intact. He saw a promotion and went for it at all costs. What he just did lying to IA was to be that same man again. (In his mind) To put his career first over what’s right. Risked people's lives again as well. People he loves. Sickens him ten years later he’s doing the same thing all over again. Even though it's so different this time. There is still nobility in it with saving Lucy and Lopez. But this man can't see that right now. Doesn't see any good in this situation or himself.

Lucy does her best to sympathize. Telling him it was an impossible situation. If it had been her she would’ve done the same thing. Thing is if it had been for Tim yes she would’ve without question. But he can’t see the forest for the trees atm. He is drowning absolutely drowning in his self-loathing. Tim continues on with the painful self flogging. Telling her she would’ve never been in his position. Putting her on a pedestal while he makes himself very very small. That OTP line from 6x03 from him 'You could never disappoint me.' That is true. The problem is he doesn't realize he could never disappoint her either. Tragically Tim doesn't view it that way. Only sees he's not worthy.

Lucy once again tries to pick up his pieces. Telling him he thought he could handle it. He was wrong but made it right. It’s like she can sense him pulling away in this moment. Doing her best to calm his fears about himself. Trying to do what she’s always done in years past best. Build him up. Soothe him. Sadly she isn’t gaining an inch of ground with him. He is stuck in how he feels and there is no budging him. Tim is morose saying he wishes it was that easy….We can see the incredible amount hurt on his face. Telling her he just lied to two men he deeply respects. He is coming undone rapidly and Lucy can see it. I adore her putting her hands on him. Trying to right his ship.

Ground him to her in this moment. Because once again it's something she’s done so well in the past. Tim is spiraling so hard he can’t see her gesture for what it is. Tells her he just betrayed everything he thought was right about himself. *heart clutch* Lucy can’t stand him talking down about himself. Tries to interrupt but Tim won’t allow it. Lucy graciously nods and lets him get it out. Especially when he tells her how hard this is for him. She is so wonderfully understanding it makes my heart ache. Tim feels like he is a bad guy. Thought he had gotten past this and was sucked back in so easily. Truly believed he had become a better person since then. (He has) Ray was right he was gonna blow up his entire life.

He just exposed Tim for the fraud he already felt he was. Bringing his greatest sin to light. Bringing up feelings of not being deserving. Of inadequacy. His abuse background pulling into the station and not leaving. Tim is back to a place of massive self loathing. Saying he has been lying to himself for years. Thinking he’s gotten better when he hasn’t. To him he reverted back to the man he thought he left behind. Not only that he put his person. The woman he loves at risk to cover up his past. To cover up his shame. It’s hitting him like a freight train of terrible realization. Continuing on to say he can’t go back to the way it was. I was hopeful when he said ‘Right now.’ Then followed it up with maybe never….

Lucy had been nodding along. Being so wonderfully empathetic and understanding. She was with him till he said that. Then she is hit with her own terrible realization. He’s leaving her. She is losing him. In the same parking lot where he told her to take a risk. Where she expressed her concern over losing him if they did. Worried about losing the most important relationship in her life due that risk. The same spot where he told her 'Unless it is.' A giant stab to our collective shipper hearts.

It's why Lucy is in a state of utter shock. As we all were tbh. She shakily asks him if he’s breaking up with her? When he said I’m sorry. I remember having to pause. Freak out and cry. I recall chanting ‘No no no….’ To myself repeatedly. My dog was very alarmed. Because I was distraught af. I couldn't believe this was really happening. My happy place was being decimated before my eyes.

Look at the range of emotions on Tim's face before he delivers that line though. Eric you why you doing this to me? They blow this scene out the damn water. it's so visceral. and raw. He looks like he's about to have a breakdown before he delivers that line. Battling with himself about it. There's a desperate need to want to stay with her. But his self doubt and hatred wins out knowing he isn't deserving. Do I think he came out thinking he was going to do this? A little. I think the more he spoke about it and himself the decision was made. He wasn't going to be be talked off this ledge.

The way Lucy replies after this rips my heart out. This break up feels like death by a thousand paper cuts. Months later and this hurts just as much as the first time. Lucy doesn't hold back in the least. Telling Tim he doesn't get to do that. Her line about using it as an excuse is so spot on. This Ray situation has hit VERY close to home for Tim. An insanely sensitive subject for him. It's rubbed against a wound that never really healed properly. Just was buried in the back of his mind.

He doesn’t have the capacity or emotional maturity to handle it. So he ejects out as a coping mechanism. Lucy calls his ass right away for it. It’s so painful to her that he is doing this excuse. Because it feels like a crappy cheat to them. To her. It's truly a cop out and our girl deserves better than this. Especially after all they’ve been through together. All that rapport and trust they’ve built over the years. It’s an insult to who they are as a couple and the relationship they’ve developed. Sadly that all vanishes in this moment. It’s stunning Lucy and straight murdering my feels.

Her ‘That's not okay.’ is a dagger to my shipper heart. The way she continues to repeat herself cause she's in shock. Ugh.This goes down as one of the most painful breakups I've had to go through. Lucy is so upset he is going this route. Melissa had a great interview (quite a few actually.) About the lie line and using it as an excuse for Tim. She noted Lucy is upset cause how he’s acting isn’t them. That they get to have these conversations. Not only have them but recover and grow from them. It’s what she expecting from him in this moment. It's what she expected from his 5x08 Mantra going into this relationship.

She is telling him I’ve got your back. I’ve got you. What are you doing? What happened to ‘Unless it is?’ Lucy continues to vehemently disagree with him. As she should. The worst part is Tim says ‘I know.’ Like he knows what he’s doing is wrong. Knows to eject after everything isn’t ok. Yet he can’t stop himself. He is not emotionally mature enough to handle this conversation properly. Also too blinded by his own self-hatred to see the unconditional love she is showing for him in this moment. God this is painful.

Tim then comes in with the breakup line of ‘You’re an incredible person.' Lucy can’t believe this shit . She really can’t. That Tim is is doing this to her. To them. Even though Tim is being genuine with his statement. You can hear it in his voice. Doesn't do anything to soothe the wounds he's causing. Once again Melissa crushing it with the upset body language. The mannerisms are so on point. Maybe it's because I'm Italian and I use my hands when I'm upset. I do exactly what she's doing. Why I appreciate it so much. It's so real.

It's a cop out what he is doing. 'It’s not you it’s me' schtick. We see the anger building in Lucy. She can't even look at him in the second gif. For him to toss away what they have is painful enough. To do it based off a cliched excuse is destroying Lucy. Thinking what they had was worth so much more than this. Thought they worth the nasty fights. No way she knows fully what happened or she would figure out why he's really doing this. That’s what makes the rest of Lucy's replies so god damn tragic. She is trying to hold onto him for dear life. But is only being pushed away in return...

Tim continues to push forward with this breakup. Letting her know she deserves better than him. It's SO much deeper than that but it's the only way he can convey it right now. Her ‘Oh my god…’ This is her worst nightmare. Her biggest fear come to life. This is why she hesitated starting this relationship. Why she was so afraid of risking her most important relationship. It's unfolding before her eyes and she can’t stop it.

Like a bad dream she can't seem to wake up from. We all wish we could...Tim has never felt worthy of Lucy’s love, light or praise. This reaction just proves that. It's been building for a long time and this is the final result of it. It’s not logical but a trauma brain rarely is. The amount of emotional and physical abuses he endured growing up left it's mark. Has him truly convinced Lucy could never love him knowing what he did. Tim feels he does not deserve her comfort, support or love.

Punishing himself and denying what he need most because he feels unworthy. Thinks he has made a mistake so grave there is no coming back for him. No way she could love him if she knew. So he like Angela stated earlier Tim is protecting himself. Pains me to watch. Now as I've said before it's not to excuse but to explain his side of it. I understand why he's doing it even if it's fucked up.

He doesn't give Lucy much more than she deserves better. Tells her it's why he's walking away. This man feels so undeserving of the love she has to give. In his mind he thinks he’s doing her a kindness. To separate herself from such a shameful and broken man. That she could do better than him. To Tim he made the biggest sin and can’t live with himself about it. He can't envision a world where Lucy would love him through it. The tragedy is she already was in this scene.

Lucy isn’t hearing any of it. Full on panic spiral that I shared in this moment. Her ‘Don’t do this. Why are you doing this?’ Is the most soul crushing part. She can feel him slipping through her hands. Like sand rushing through her fingertips. She can’t hold onto a grain of him. Can only stand there as he gives up on them. His face in the third gif...Knife to my soul. *screams into a pillow* It's killing him to walk away from her. Eric and his expressive eyes has me bawling. The quiver in his bottom lip as well. Gah it hurts to watch them both in so much pain. It’s the way she pulls away with one hand, but is clutching his other hand for dear life, that really gets me in that last gif.

Asking him once again why are you doing this? I shared that sentiment in this moment.. Tim stands firm in his decision to end them and rip all of our hearts out. Eric had a great quote about how Tim handed this whole thing. ‘He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through. And it can come out as a bit too strong.’ He feels he is a burden Lucy therefore he is removing himself. Not thinking about the damage it’s going to do to her. The immense regret he’s going to feel when he regulates a bit more.

Something therapy has taught me is we are ruled by our nervous system. Anxiety, stress, fear etc Tim’s was haywire in this moment. All of them going off at once. Not thinking clearly. Acting out of fight or flight. He took the flight option unfortunately. The tragic way he grabs her head and gives her the saddest head kiss. Shattering all of our hearts in the process. It’s the devastated look on his face when he strokes her hair and takes off. One final gut punch from him. It's like he’s leaving behind his greatest treasure and can’t bear to be around it any longer. Lucy is clutching to him until he departs. *snifffle*

The man actually thinks she is better off without him. Truly believes that. Even if Lucy had succeeded it keeping Tim, this would've reared it’s ugly head again down the road. This breakup ruined my friggin life. I kid you not. They were my happy place. My consistent happy place. And now that was gone. It affected my mental health a little too not gonna lie. I think I was in mourning for three weeks. Honestly I still am. Low key will be till they're fixed. Those three weeks were unbearable. But also needed. Thank you again to my bestie D for being my mourning partner through out that. Kept me sane.

That being said I think this will push them in the best direction. A healthier and stronger one. I truly believe that. I recently broke up with a friend who I had been friends with for ten years. It was very hard on me but time. Boundaries were being pushed and it wasn't healthy anymore. My therapist pointed me to a wonderful book called ‘Goodbyes and good boundaries. ’ While It helped heal my heart it also has really good pieces in it. Stuff made me think of this very ep tbh. Sure that wasn't her goal LOL But my brain is always in a Chenford state of mind in some way or another.

First one that made me think of them. ‘Health cannot bond to unhealth.’ As much as it wasn’t fair for Lucy. And god it wasn’t after everything else this season. Tim was in such a radioactive state staying with her wouldn’t have worked anyway. He was radiating turmoil. Lucy can do a lot for him but not this. He NEEDED therapy so much. There are things you learn in there that only your therapist can help you with. He was unhealth and Lucy was trying to keep her empathetic healthy self to him. It was never going to work. Not unless Tim put in some work. Which he couldn't at this point in time.

“Relationship often die not because of conversations never had but rather conversations needed but never had.” Another good one made me think of them. Tim was not ready in the least for the adult conversation required of him in this moment. Or their entire relationship really. They both danced around the issues a lot. 6x02 closest we got. Even then it was one sided. Thus them dying in this moment. Despite Lucy’s damndest to keep them afloat. Remind him of what they’re fighting for. Of why they started this. This breakup was painful af. Despite how this wrecked my world it’s going to be good for them in the long run.

I will say Lucy in that last gif was all of us in that moment. It was a soul crushing moment that decimated this fandom. Still blows my mind Melissa and Eric were surprised just how insanely devastated we were. Why they did those lovely posts during the three weeks. To thank us and to hold on. Growth is coming. They’re going to be even better after this. Doesn’t mean this didn’t hurt like a SOB and won’t long after they reunite. Curse you Eric and Melissa. You are incredible to evoke such emotions out of us all.

Thank you for going through this with me again. It wasn’t easy but they always worth it. Appreciate any and all comments, likes or reblogs I get. I shall see you all in 6x07 :)

Side notes non chenford

Balian doing the creepy bed thing again. Just have to note that.

Also can’t believe they didn’t end the ep with their breakup. There is a whole minute or so of I don’t give a shit after that scene. I was so distraught they could’ve had Nolan walk into a wall and I wouldn't have noticed.

[legoflowrs]

HEADCANNONS

c/w: drinking, drugs, addiction, abuse, slight nsfw

AGED UP TO 18 MY PEOPLE!!!!

A/N: ok so in the headcannons he’s with Stan cause Style is very dear to my heart but in the relationship headcannons he’s with reader xx

Kyle Broflovski

- Massive fucking NERD!! (pls i love nerds).

- Got straight A’s throughout high school.

- Was on the honour roll and was on student council.

- Firm believer in basketball Kyle supremacy.

- Came out as Demisexual and Bisexual (male leaning).

- Stopped being super strict on Kosher throughout high school but kept that a secret from Sheila.

- Never stopped being insecure about his nose. Literally at one point started saving for a nose job till Stan talked him out of it.

- Drinks almond milk.

- Thinks thrifting is gross cause he’s a germaphobe. Washes his hands like 50 times a day.

- When I hear the song Basic Instinct it reminds me of Kyle.

- The Smiths > The Cure.

- Style: Stan fell first, Kyle fell harder (bro i love these dweebs lol).

- Was legit so in denial about being in love with Stan for the longest time.

- His Dad pushed him to study law but he ended up studying psychology to become a child psychologist because he saw the effects of unchecked mental health in children while he grew up.

- Got really drunk once and Kenny pierced his septum. He has it flipped up most of the time.

- Hates glasses so wears contacts.

- Such a fkn mummas boy lol it honestly was a problem at one point.

- Didn’t do his own laundry till he moved out. Did not know how to put sheets on a bed 👍

- Such a good relationship with Ike, he would die for his little brother.

- Did someone say abandonment issues!!!! Could not keep a partner to save his life during high school.

- Smoked weed with Kenny twice and then freaked out after he greened out.

- Got addicted to nicotine during college and used it as an outlet because he put so much pressure on himself to be perfect. Spoke to his doctor and he’s trying to quit.

- Defs listens to Phoebe Bridgers because he has a strange relationship with his dad.

- His dad pushed him to be perfect all the time until Kyle had a massive breakdown in junior year that burnt him out for a long time.

- A family man!!! Wants kids pretty early on into his life.

- A god at poker.

- Hates taking photos of himself.

- Still pretty insecure about his hair but Kenny and Stan helped himself to accept it and even start taking good care of it.

- Really struggled with anger issues.

- Stopped speaking to Cartman completely.

- Forest green is his favourite colour.

- Writes poems and makes people cry with how nice his birthday card messages are.

- First out his friends to get a license. His parents paid for his car.

- Such a damn backseat driver.

- Didn’t really work until he moved out.

- I think he’d help Heidi out at the community gardens.

- After Heidi finally ended things with Cartman, her and Kyle became really close friends.

- Had a friendly academic rivalry with Wendy through high school.

- Him and Wendy study together in college often.

- Has a record player.

- Grew closer to Craig’s gang in senior year of high school. Goes record shopping with Tolkien.

- Very accident prone.

- Has diabetes.

- Loves picnics and simple activities like stargazing.

- Smells like pine needles and the ocean.

- Actually a fantastic swimmer.

- Did drama in sophomore year.

- A massive library in his house. Had to instil a book ban on himself because he was spending all his money on it.

- Really nice eyelashes.

- Comes home to celebrate Hanukkah with his family every year.

- Did long distance with Stan during college. They almost broke up a few times but pulled through.

- Enjoys taking pictures of nature.

- Takes Ike to the movies very often.

- Has the nicest knitted sweaters.

- His guilty pleasure is Taylor Swift.

- HE IS SO MIRRORBALL CODED.

- When he’s in a good mood he loves baking and often bakes for his friends.

- Kenny, Kyle and Stan do day trips together super often. In my world these three never grew apart they are inseparable 🤞🤞

Kyle in a relationship

- An absolute gentleman. Refuses to let you get out of his car without him opening the door for you. Holds doors and pulls out seats. Always gives you his jacket.

- Was very insecure about his sexual inexperience. But y’all guided each other through it. I think there’s something so sweet and special about that.

- Touch tank by quinnie is all I have to say 😼.

- Loves kissing your neck and ears. He kisses your knuckles as well it’s very tender.

- Combusts when he sees you getting along with his family. Especially his Mum and Ike.

- Let’s you touch his hair, it relaxes him a lot.

- Opens up to you about his struggle with his Dad and nicotine. You are his biggest supporter through it all.

- Even though he hates photos, he’ll have a polaroid of y’all in his phone and wallet. Plus a photo booth strip in his car.

- Y’all will bake at midnight together.

- You go on fancy dinner dates together and rate the restaurants in the car together.

- Avid Letterboxed users lol! Give each other show and movie recommendations all the time.

- Kyle always had trouble sleeping but there was something very comforting about your presence so he’ll spend a lot of time at your dorm.

- Writes poems for you.

- Brings you flowers every time the old bouquet dies (ugh what a man).

- BUYS YOU LEGO FLOWERS!!!

- His love languages are gift giving and quality time.

- Keeps a list of all the dates you’ve been on.

- Will take such good photos of you fr! Your biggest hype man.

- I think his short temper would be a problem for you guys but he loves you so much he works on it so hard.

- Your praise means the absolute world to him.

- You guys always go to carnival together and share a caramel apple, it’s like tradition now.

- Couples costume for halloween always.

- Asks for your Dads/Mums/Guardians blessing before he proposes to you.

- Loves the smell of your perfume/cologne. Like it’s seriously intoxicating.

- Proposes to you with his Grandmas ring.

a/n: guys i love kyle so much i’m gonna make his mood board now <3

also if any of these are ooc in ur opinion it’s just for funsies and my opinion hehe

[reasonsforhope]

Your blog is a literal god send for me, I’ve been feeling so depressed, pessimistic, nihilistic and cynical at the state of the world right now and my fear of if I even have a future, but your blog is absolutely what I needed right now, so I can’t thank you enough. I’m just so happy to see someone who is hopeful and positive and not pessimistic, and it makes me legit want to cry tears of joy. How are you able to stay so positive and optimistic despite everything going on?

<3 <3 <3

As for how I stay optimistic and relatively positive? Lots of effort and hard work.

I'm not naturally an optimist. I spent most of my life (and certainly my adolescence lol) being pretty angry and cynical.

It's not that I never feel depressed or despairing about the state of the world. There's fucked up shit happening, indisputably, and hey, I'm trans, it's been a rough fucking year for that. But I guess I try to focus on the difference between passing moods and baseline worldview.

Some of the main ways I moved my baseline worldview to be optimistic and hopeful:

A lot of reading and looking at data and in-depth stories. The headlines never give you enough of the story - hell, most news articles don't these days, because they're so skewed toward negative news

Especially reading/looking at good news sites (I have a masterpost of good news sites here). There are good things happening everywhere that you never hear about. Mostly, you only ever hear about the good things when there's been a huge setback, which sucks!

I'm basically not on social media. Nothing except Tumblr, Facebook, and LinkedIn, and I only ever go on FB and linkedin briefly for business. It's fantastic, can't recommend ditching social media enough

I made sure I was doing something to help (aka I started this blog. I would also volunteer but my disabilities and a lot of logistics make that complicated)

My job involves reading a couple dozen self-help books a year lol, not gonna lie that def helps

Taking a long perspective of time. It often doesn't feel like it, but statistically, this really is the best time to be alive. (Here's a fantastic essay about many of the reasons why.) People really gloss over how much most of the past kinda fucking sucked to live in. 50% of all people used to die before their 15th birthday, for basically all of history until the past 200 years!! Imagine having to live with that. Imagine all of that pain and grief literally everywhere. I'm really happy about living in modern times, actually!

That last point is esp helpful to remember for me because I'm 100% for sure on the list of "people who would've died in childbirth" pre modern medicine (and my mom would've died having me, too). It was modern times or nothing lol

The vast majority of the world has spent the past 300 to 500 years being absolutely brutalized by white people and/or the West. There's still a lot of fallout to fix and colonialism to uproot, but I genuinely can't wait to see what people and nations will achieve with sustained self-rule and significantly fewer massive atrocities

Solarpunk and hopepunk stuff

I'm gonna make a whole post about this at some point but the fact that we eliminated scarcity in the past few decades actually changes the entire fucking game for the world (literally it's not a zero sum game anymore) and for the future. We're allowed a bit of a learning curve I think

I listen to the Rent soundtrack a lot and go "well you know what being trans right now sucks but being trans at the height of the aids crisis would've been way fucking worse" lol rip

Meds! Meds. Antidepressants and antianxiety meds unfortunately don't work for everyone (yet!), but also thank fuck for meds

Progress almost always happens in slow, tiny increments, with a lot of stops and starts and setbacks. You have to always remember that there are always people fighting somewhere, and if they're stopped, there will always be more people to pick up the fight in the future

[gladdygirl18]

This is super late but this is an incredible tickle story that happened between me and my boyfriend

Blue me, orange BF

So about a few days ago I was over at my boyfriend's place just to hang out (his mother gave me a standing invitation to visit whenever I please 🫶🏾💖🥰 God bless that woman I love her so fucking much ahh 😆💖) and so while I was over there, my boyfriend would constantly poke me and tickle me a little and ofc yours truly is the instigator of such (whatever I do to him he does to me 😋💖)

While my boyfriend and I were laying on the couch, I got hit with a MASSIVE Lee mood omggg 😳😳😳 and my boyfriend and I were just cuddling and even still I have a really hard time asking for stuff, and while yeah, I had a special word for when I was with my girlfriend, this is new, so asking for tickles is like all of a sudden new for me

"Please, dear. Tell me what you want. Do you want cuddles, kisses, tickles, (rated R stuff)? I don't care if it's weird, silly, sexy. I just wanna make you happy. Because when my baby's happy, I'm happy. So what is it you want me to do for you?"

I legit almost started crying when he said that. Hearing that meant so much to me (even tho he has said this to me multiple times on occasion it still means so fucking much 😭🥰😭💖🫶🏾) I love him so fucking much, your honor, I don't deserve him

I cuddled up close to him and just hugged him cuz I was nervous of asking him

"Use your words, my love, come on"

"C-can you.... tickle me please?"

The minute I asked, he was already squeezing my sides with vigor, wiggling his fingers all over my body. Omggg I've never been happier 🥰😭😆 he eventually had me on my back, STRADDLED ME, and continued tickling me

I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR 😭🥰🫶🏾💖😆

As i am squirming around, he leans in and asks "is this waht you wanted? Having my hands all over your tickle spots?" Oh my GOD the tickling got WOOOOORSE 😳😭💖 BUT IT WAS SO MUCH FUUUUN

After what felt like a few minutes, he stopped and asked, "How was that?" (If you're an EPIC fan @giggly-squiggily, you will get this reference)

"What did Hera day? Try harder. You can do better than that~"

Oh yeah, my bratty Lee mood was in full swing! He flipped me over on my stomach and started pinching my sides and clawing at my armpits and belly and I kid you not I was laughing so hard but it felt amazing 🥰😆💖

After some time after the tickling my boyfriend was speculating that I had a fetish/kink for tickling. I explicitly told him that while yes I love tickling and being tickled that doesn't make it a fetish/kink. My love language is physical touch, and obvi tickling falls under that category, so with that, feeling my boyfriend's hands all over me like that is very comforting and loving to me. I told him to not think of my tickling as a kink/fetish again, cuz the thought of such makes me a bit uncomfortable, and he said he understood, and gave me a fee tummy tickles as reassurance

(I will say tho, while i dont like, and practically despise, the idea of bondage [ropes, cuffs, etc], I don't mind him pinning my arms above my head to tickle me. Idk y but it's kinda fun. I made that abundantly clear with him too)

"You are adorable when you laugh and smile. All I see is love in your eyes when you look at me with your laughing giggly face, and I can tell when you're having fun"

He had just as much fun tickling me as I enjoy being tickled. Unfortunately he's not that ticklish and any time I try to tickle him he quickly turns the tables, but it's fun 🥰💖

I think it was yesterday or the day before yesterday that he was over at my dorm and we kinda went thru the same song and dance again. Me having trouble asking for tickles, him reassuring me it was okay, me getting my tickles, being a brat to get more tickles, and cuddly aftercare

Ik I'm probably missing some events that had happened but these are some of the ones that I remember perfectly

Sorry this was so drastically late; more to come!

Tagging: @giggly-squiggily @sunstone-smiles @burningablaze @cutesmokes @otomiyaa

[nickeverdeen]

Hehehe could I get an Arcane and/or Nimona matchup😋 I’mma yap a lot so prepare LMAOO

My name is Kathryn (or Kat for short) and I'm in school for graphic design and communications - I originally wanted to go into cosmetology to become a desairologist, but I didn't get in. I play piano, dance (hip hop, ballet, tap, and jazz), and sing. I also produce my own music.

Idk how to classify my style so I'lI say it alternates between morute, gloomy coquette, dollette, gothic, and alternative. I also lean heavily towards the feminine side of the spectrum.

I practice witchcraft and l'm also a Christian. I have a weird fascination with dolls and I collect them, specifically porcelain dolls. Like, it's so bad LMAO my friends are scared to come into my room atp!!! Literally I'm probs on someone's rob list I have one worth $400😭🙏

I also collect vinyls. I have over $600 worth of them save me…

Some of my favorite music artists are Bambi Baker, Melanie Martinez, Solya, Elita, Ha Vay, Baby Bugs, and Mercy Necromancy. I also like a lot of rock; AC/DC, Scene Queen, Delilah Bon, BANSHEE, Gurldoll, Ashnikko (she's sometimes rock), and Ennaria

I suppress literally everything until I just burst and it’s been building for two years now so uh yay😍

My humor’s honestly really weird. I can laugh at bread falling but find a really good dad joke stupid and unfunny. I also tend to match the personality of the person I'm speaking to. I’ve also been told I’m really great at comfort but I don’t know about that. A lot of people confide in me with their problems. Like a lot..🥲 not that I mind, it just gets a bit tiring

I’m more attracted to masc leaning people but I’ve also dated fems before. It doesn’t really matter to me as long as we have chemistry, but I do find myself eyeing a lot more masculine girls.. I’m kind of attracted to men, but not a whole lot.

I also don’t like touch unless I’ve known the person for at least 6 months or I initiate it. I’ve had multiple breakdowns because someone who wasn’t a “safe person” touched me without giving any warning…… I tense up MASSIVELY when someone hugs me even if I know they’re going to. The only people that don’t have that effect on me are my best friend (who I’ve known for 4 years) and my dad.

I took a state personality test and I’m exactly 50% INFP and 50% INFJ. Legit confused the test and it gave me both💀

Im diagnosed with anxiety & depression. I've been told I might have OCD, BPD and some sort of depersonalization/derealization disorder.

I believe I could have autism or ADHD. I also have heavy hallucinations that can last either 30 minutes or 2 weeks. I have major mood swings too. One minute I can literally be bouncing up and down while wanting to blow something up and then the next I’ll be crying on the floor😭

Aaanyway I think that’s enough of me yapping have a great day babes<3

Your Arcane match is…

Caitlyn Kiramman

Caitlyn would love discussing your music collection, especially rock and alternative genres

It may not seem like it, but she has a soft spot for underground bands and loves discovering new music

Caitlyn’s patient and empathetic nature makes her a great listener, offering comfort and understanding when you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious

She’d be your rock during your mood swings

Provides a calming presence and helpes you through tough moments with patience and care

Caitlyn respects your need for personal space and takes care not to touch you without permission, understanding the importance of consent and comfort

Caitlyn would plan unique and adventurous dates, like exploring hidden spots in Piltover or attending underground music gigs

She herself would maybe prefer a classic restaurant one, but when she tried this she prefered this

Caitlyn would like your unique style and often compliment your outfits, even suggesting accessories or outfits that might suit your aesthetic

She’d be a bit unsure and creeped out by the doll thing, though

Caitlyn would silently encourage you to express your emotions and not suppress them

Caitlyn’s love for photography would complement your graphic design skills, and you’d often collaborate on creative projects

She would cherish quiet, quality time with you

Whether it’s listening to music together, having deep conversations, or simply enjoying each other’s company

Your Nimona match is…

Nimona

Nimona’s playful nature would match your quirky humor

She’d often make you laugh with her antics and shapeshifting abilities

Nimona would love going on spontaneous adventures with you, whether it’s exploring new places or trying out new activities

Nimona’s fierce loyalty means she’d be incredibly protective of you, always ready to stand up for you if anyone tried to harm or disrespect you

Nimona would appreciate your artistic talents and often encourage you to express yourself through your art and music

Her unconventional ways of comforting might seem odd, but they’d always make you feel better, like turning into a cute animal to cheer you up

Slowly she would learn to respect your boundaries over time, ensuring she doesn’t touch you without your consent

Nimona would love discovering new music with you and often play your favorite songs during your adventures together

Despite her tough exterior, Nimona has a deep understanding of emotions and would be there for you during your highs and lows

Nimona’s idea of a date would be anything but ordinary – from sneaking into restricted areas to watching thunderstorms from a safe spot

She’d like your unique style and individuality, often praising your confidence

[mochabonesblog]

Maybe we should show Ian cardoni and harry belden just how much they are loved here, If ian only has insta he may be feeling really effing shitty right now. How can we do this without just saying "dude go look on tumblr and spend time looking through the tags to find that people love you"

I'm legit talking a massive mood board collage esqu way to like message him and go "dude, ignore these tossers, we love you and absolutely see the EFFORT you and harry have gone through to not only be cast, but the incredible results of your episodes after having to dub over already animated dialogue in such a small time frame. Let's not forget adult swim hid the names until the episode because they knew what would happen.

We should do some sort of collective thing that let's him access that part of the fandoms posts whenever he needs it

If you notice I keep saying He, it's because I'm sure ian is bearing the brunt of this, not to say harry isn't, but these dudebros have long been misinterpreting rick and his intentions and opinions to idolise him for the wrong reason and it mixing STRONGLY with roiland in the way morty doesn't (and mr poopy butthole)

So. Guys. A CALL TO ARMS HOW DO WE DO THIS

[safetycar-restart]

okay i don’t know if you’ve seen the new “rate the gram” video williams did but i swear to god if logan had a tail it would have been wagging that entire video.

so i have thoughts. hybrid!au. black cat!oscar, golden retriever!logan.

so oscar is in general sort of grumpy and indifferent to people, except for you and logan of course. but logan loves everybody. especially alex. as soon as he got comfortable at williams, alex was on his list of people that immediately make him excited to see.

and oscar doesn’t dislike alex, but he would prefer to just be left alone with you and logan. just imagine you cuddling with logan and oscar on media day, splitting time between mclaren and williams so you get to see both of your joys equally. then alex comes up and scratches logan behind the ears and tells him they have a video to record and oscar does not like that one bit?? that’s his emotional support puppy thank you very much. why is alex touching him? so he hisses and swats at alex and alex just chuckles and gives him a head pat, not caring that oscar attempts to bite off his fingers.

then just imagine one weekend you get called away for some reason and you have to leave them with alex for a few minutes while you take care of whatever it is. and when you come back, logan is so happy, asleep with his head in alex’s lap and oscar is also cuddled up against alex but glaring at him the entire time.

and if oscar finds out logan is sad, all bets are off. maybe he’s had a bad race weekend or he misses his family, so he’ll lay around in bed and mope. and oscar will not accept that. he will flop his entire body weight on logan and stay there until he feels better. legit smothering his friend until he starts giggling and pushing him away with his tail wagging again instead of being all droopy and sad.

so yeah, that was a ramble. i’m just obsessed with this dynamic all of a sudden and needed to share :)

(also could i be 🐈‍⬛ anon in honor of oscar’s black cat energy)

Oh my god this is perfect. I've been in a massive Logan mood lately as well (lads we need to appreciate Logan more! Logan and lance!), so this is so good and so soft. Perfect for soft and AU night. And of course you can be 🐈‍⬛! I'll add it to the claimed list :))

I think the thing with Logan is that if someone praises him, he will love them for life? The moment he realises Alex will so easily call him pretty and talented? Alex becomes one of his favourite people!! (And yes he absolutely does this because he knows it makes Logan tail wags ridiculously fast and it's adorable).

After a while of this, Logan's tail will start wagging the moment he spots Alex, something which becomes a meme online.

(Which is why it's so sad that so many drivers can't be bothered to try and to get to know Logan because they'd have such a good friend! Sidenote: dog!Logan somehow becoming friends with Lewis? He's truly a little puppy around him and he always lifts lewis's spirit)

Anyway, so Alex is one of Logan's favourite people, but of course you and Oscar have golden status, his favourite people out of his favourite people.

Oscar, however, doesn't care that he is liked even more than Alex, all he cares about is that Alex is liked and therefore can take some of Logan's attention which is absolutely unacceptable. Logan is either completely oblivious to this or just knows Oscar won't cause any real harm because he doesn't even try to act less excited when he spots Alex.

(Though to be fair to Logan, he can't really control his reactions in the first place)

But yeah Oscar is very upset about this. Logan is Oscar's emotional support puppy! Logan must give him cuddles and kisses at all times or else everyone will have to deal with an even grumpier Oscar.

Poor Alex is always getting hissed at, mostly because Oscar is just so possessive of Logan? Of you as well of course, you and Logan are his people!!

It's especially funny because Oscar's love language is kinda just... to lay on top of you and Logan? He'll just decide that he needs to cuddle you or Logan and so he arrives and just plasters himself on top of you, purring lightly and wriggling until he gets pets.

In fact, sometimes people can't even see Oscar? He'll just lay on Logan and snuggle against his chest, so much so that Alex will only see him once he gets closer. That doesn't stop Alex from giving Logan a little headscratch just because he knows how much Logan loves it, but he will have to be ready to dodge because Oscar has a second sense to know when someone else is close and he will hiss and scratch at Alex's hand.

So you're very shocked to discover Logan and Oscar both cuddled up to Alex one day.

Maybe Logan was having a bad day, hence why Oscar was looking for him in the first place, but then Oscar finds Logan asleep on Alex's lap and as much as Oscar wants to hiss, it's clear that Logan needs all the love and attention and he's comfortable enough to fall asleep so Oscar can't disturb him. But he wants to join, because he has to help! He has to help Logan his feel better. So he reluctantly cuddles up to Alex, wrapping his tail around Logan.

Alex, meanwhile, is having the time of his life. He's got two cuddle buddies now! And yes Oscar is also glaring at him but thats fine!

And oh my god the way Oscar comforts Logan? I love it.

He kinda just squashes him and rubs himself all over Logan, making sure that Logan is all his!! Logan can't be upset when Oscar is right on top of him, those are the rules.

Logan, of course, loves it and always ends up smiling and playfully pushing Oscar off him.

That's the time that you join them, because now Logan is soft and pliant and opening up a little more and he's ready to hear what you have to say (while Oscar stays cuddled on top of Logan of course).

[kissporsche]

Okay, last one, I promise - and no need to answer ANY of these, obviously. I'm just in the mood to be annoying today. 🙈💕

Top 5 KinnPorsche scenes - WITH and WITHOUT VP (because I think the latter would be really interesting) 👀

BLESS YOU FOR THAT, YOU KNOW ME TOO WELL (and you are not annoying AT ALL 💕💕💕)

Top 5 VP scenes

Ep 12 hedgehog funeral + sex scene

I meeeeean. I mean. I mean!!!!!!! When is a monster not a monster? When you see him utterly broken sobbing over his dead pet and your catastrophic empathy instinct kicks in because you see yourself in him and him in you and you KNOW this will backfire but need NEED to go back anyway and it NEEDS to be your choice and it KEEPS being your choice and kissing him is your choice and fucking him is your choice and offering up your wrists is your choice and you fucking SMILE because for once you got everything you wanted and for just a minute the whole world falls into its proper place.

Ep 13 break-up scene

My beloved. This is legit one of my favourite scenes in any piece of media, ever. It enraptures me. It's every terrible, beautiful, instinctual decision that they've made together being CRUSHED by the world outside their safehouse/prison/escape/condemnation and exploding in their faces. It is everything to me. It's inevitable. And so necessary even though it hurts like hell.

Ep 13 alleyway scene

THE DRAMA. Vegas with his prince hair pulling his One Move. Pete with the cigarette and the realisation and the gun. They both look so insanely good sorry for being shallow. But GOD. "Don't you want me to disappear?" "Shoot me!" "I don't think you can. And you know why." like ugh UGH it's the PEAK of fucked up romance! Vegas risking it all on Pete feeling the same and not caring if he loses his life on that bet, Pete unable to even speak in response but just breaking down in Vegas's arms because he can't and he knows.

Ep 14 pool scene

Okay now obviously this one is also everything to me. It's... yeah. This scene was to my brain what a magnet is to a VHS tape. I lost the ability to form coherent thoughts for multiple days. I still can't adequately express everything this scene means to me. It's a masterclass in writing and character work and ACTING!!!! Like with anyone else this scene could have failed massively but instead we got CINEMA. My favourite, most unhinged viewing experience of my entire life. Maybe if I loved it less I might be able to talk about it more.

Ep 14 epilogue

THE SOFT EPILOGUE THEY DESERVE. Their lives have beaten them down into the dirt, they've nearly lost their humanity entirely, they barely know how to be people and yet. They find each other. They choose each other. They live for each other. And they get happiness as a reward, and a family they will keep choosing again and again and again.

I could have picked so many other scenes, literally any of their scenes! But 12-14 really is just hit after hit of some of the best television ever created so. holy shit there's a whole other half to this ask OOPS- Top 5 KP scenes (no VP)

Ep 1 Porsche and Chay

Porsche wiping his tears away and hugging his little brother is what sold me on his character and really the entire show.

Ep 5 Porsche breaking down in the bathroom

Talk about a masterclass in acting. Phenomenal.

Ep 6 final scene

All the lead up too. Kinn apologising, Porsche deliberately failing rock paper scissors, Kinn's speech when they escape, Porsche running back to kiss him. GORGEOUS.

Ep 10 warehouse scene

Oh I live for gloves-off Vegas. And the horriblest little man Tawan. Sleeveless Kim. Big's sacrifice.

Ep 14 office scene

I'm being soooo good and not counting this as a VP scene but like. Oh I love it. Namphueng reveal, "you're just as bad as papa was", "the truth that Namphueng is-", Vegas surrounded by a halo of guns, Korn at his most menacing, "I can't keep betraying my feelings", the look between Porsche and Pete, I-. I love it. There's just so much to keep coming back to.

[narwhalandchill]

(HEAVILY suspect genshin 4.2 AQ weekly boss leaks, massive spoiler if its legit etc etc but take with a Colossal grain of salt, also general 4.0 & 4.1 spoilers jic, i am going moderately insane)

i would like to formally apologize in advance for the person im about to become if childes whale (or 'it' more likely than not) is genuinely going to be the 4.2 AQ weekly boss what the fuck. What the fuck

Listen. Listen. Listen.

ive been saying for YEARS that this fucker is a bigger deal than just he hee minor miniboss turned neutrally aligned friendly rival on the fatui harbinger gauntlet. ive been coping ive been starving seeing him get literally no relevance or new abyss lore for years as fanon butchered his character beyond recognition. but i knew. i knew they werent putting those lore breadcrumbs in there for nothing and like. im trying not to lose my mind just yet its still highly suspect claims but. itd make so much sense. itd explain everything.

the oratrice was not wrong. if the primordial anti-french bathwater is connected to the whale all along its no wonder it deemed childe guilty as the one with 'its' traces remaining on him all this time especially as the latent yet-untapped power resulting from that past encounter has clearly begun to surface. theyre registering as one and the same to the oratrice. and for the whale to end up as a weekly boss its Very clear theres an explicit link there.

and like? if the whales been behind fontaines rising sea levels and tied to the primordial water all this time lurking somewhere just underneath the nation of hydro im just. was childes instinct to come to fontaine specifically due to his worsening mood rly much coincidence at all or was 'it' beginning to call for him due to sensing that hed soon be ready to awaken his potential? his stories suggest quite clearly that this was what happened when ajax was 14 as well - the abyss called to him as did he to it, frustrated as he was with his ordinary life, seeking the potential he had within. ready to nurture his trouble-mongering nature into a true force of chaos and a nexus of strife. isnt this just the same thing all over again?

and the celestial star-cruising whale is his constellation. that kind of link isnt giving me a "chance encounter you happen to get latent powers from". and for skirk to explicitly state that awakening 'it' was a feat unheard of before ajax. that no one had ever done it before. theyre deeply intertwined if not outright the same entity on some cosmic level - just different incarnations somehow. shits getting Real and i fucking knew there was something up YEARS ago

anyway hooooly shit i am going to fucking lose it i really really hope its real. and like sure sure knowing its coming is technically a spoiler but also not really? bc now its just the how and why and when. is skirk going to finally show up? is childe going to summon 'it' either on accident or on purpose? would he utilize the imminent threat the whales presence poses to force both furina and neuvillette into emergency mode given how abyssal creatures are literally kryptonite for dragons and celestia-approved divine beings alike? is that why traveler ends up having to face it instead? bc those 2 would literally get irreversibly corroded by the abyss from one hit?

alternatively, will childe want to fight it? bc ppl dont talk about this for some reason but hes always had a voiceline about what we now know 100% was 'it' and bro genuinely wants to go back to the abyss full send just to throw hands with the whale to prove hes surpassed the past terror that gripped him upon their first encounter and that hes overtaken it with his own power. which with the new lore drops of their deep connection definitely isnt giving childe replacing and becoming the new incarnation of the abyssal star-whale at all nuh-uh. surely. (i want it so bad)

anyway. holy shit. heres hoping this doesnt just age like shit DUFYDUGHFGDJSHDK i really want an AQ final fight thats not just harbinger of the week for the 4th time in a row. theyre fun and all and like yeah arguably childes ties to it kinda make it a harbinger fight but also not? bc this is about his abyssal links nothing to do with being in the fatui. and its the whale anyway not him per say

anyway heres hoping we get that 3rd final boss fight to the death with him in the celestia arc for once and for all when hes finally reached his peak. first we fight him at his incomplete level in liyue. then his abyssal whale. then 3rd time him in his final form thank youuu

but like. still emphasizing. this is NOT reliable leaks or confirmed yet so hold your horses. very sussy whisperings from some ppl who do have somewhat of a truthful track record but nothing concrete. i just went insane enough with the very idea that my brain made me type this madness out regardless

[seitmai]

This is legit a memorable birthday but in the worst way lmao

First I had to postpone my original planned trip because it is snowing there and other places, quite a lot actually (snow is very much not normal mid September here)

Then I went to the town my parents live in and planned to go to a special dinner with my dad and stepmom. But the weather is still not good and heavy wilds and massive floods are so bad that the whole state has announced a state of emergency. So, not even my step-mom came over to make sure her house stays save and because of the many closed roads.

So I legit stayed all day at home, mostly alone, with having nothing to do, not even a show to watch. Legit what I did not want to do and I already don't like my birthday anyway🫠

I'm glad my loved ones are all safe but this whole situation really killed the rest of my mood

At least I had some nice dinner with my dad and baked myself a cake lol

Happy birthday to me I guess lol

[queer-coded-camaro-driver]

The #1 Reason Stranger Things Fell Apart, an Essay:

**All things stated below are my personal OPINION and do not have to impact your views if you don't want them to. As an avid D&D player, however, I wanted to write this out for shits n giggles. I was in the mood. This also doesn't address the racism, badly handled character intros, or random B-character deaths.

There is one rule to rule them all in Dungeons & Dragons, a rule so vital to smooth gameplay and story-building that the smartest players know to break it almost certainly means death:

Never split the party.

(There's an entire song about it, that's how deeply engrained in the culture it is).

Once the party has been separated it's not only way easier for your characters to get ambushed/get in trouble/die, it's way harder for all members of the game to keep having the same level of fun! Usually because the wait time between turns and plot development causes players to lose interest or lose track of their last actions.

When it comes to Season 1 of Stranger Things, we have multiple groups of characters building plots together: Nancy, Steve, Jonathan, and the other teens have their drama together. Hopper and the investigation into Hawkins' weird science has its own plot. Will's disappearance and the children hiding El are the main focus - and those groups are almost NEVER narratively separated.

These plots are interwoven to create the greater story and build suspense but the groups within are constantly orbiting around one another to strengthen those connections. Despite my current beef with the Duffers, Season 1 was pretty damn successful in following the Golden Rule of TTRPG.

So when S2 arrives and the process of El's reunification with Mike/the Party gets dragged out further than necessary, all that yummy tension dissipates. Rather than using the established relationships to scaffold new conflicts (Mike/El, Mike/Max(?), Max & Lucas' crush/truce, Dustin's frustration, Will's loneliness, etc.), they broke these load-bearing narratives into smaller "more digestible" chunks.

As S3 and S4 went on, the group fractured even further apart. With this separation came the loss of critical character traits. Mama Byers' beloved velcro-mothering disappears in the face of Hopper's potential survival. Jonathan and Nancy's class disparity falls out of the story despite being one of the more interesting aspects of the "Teen Drama".

Max slips away, Lucas slips away, Dustin and Mike join the Hellfire Club... I know these shifts are meant to represent the way things change in high school but the clique-forming is so fast and drastic by S4 that the Party is unrecognizable.

The Duffers lost serious momentum when they split the party the first time by sending El to Chicago to meet her retconned siblings. But rather than learning from this mistake, they tried doing it a different way over and over until the compiled failures led to... Whatever the fuck is going on right now.

They COULD have done some fascinating stuff with Will and Billy's birthdays marking the dates of the first and final episodes of S4, Vol 1 respectively. They share a name and they were both Flayed. That could have been SUCH a cool coincidence to play with. Yet somehow the fans noticed their timeline mistake before they did, ffs.

They could have done some cool stuff with the Upside Down and Billy and Max getting a heartwarming sibling redemption arc. The 4 OG Party guys could have talked through a legit heart-to-heart about growing up and finding new interests but staying friends, Breakfast Club style.

But no. We got whatever the fuck the Henry Creel stuff was/is/will be. It's not the worst possible writing they could have done, but that element could have been incorporated with so much creativity and class... Yet it got shoehorned between several other developing ideas instead.

And honestly I don't think any of the massively laggy sub-plots with Joyce and Russia and Hopper in jail and Dustin's Mormon girlfriend's stoner sister would have happened if the Duffers had simply followed the rules and never split the party.

[ukusreticence]

i told myself to keep myself from ranting about my characters on here, but my brain has decided that this is my sketch and oc blog and i do not care anymore. i am LORE DROPPING EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT PROCESS AND I DO NOT CARE. at the very least its helping me gather my thoughts more by spewing it all out since i dont know how to simply write without some kinda art to accompany it so i have a topic in mind or something. thought process rant under cut, TLDR; side b is a damn mess of a character and such a fun concept to play with that i legit cannot decide on one concept for them

(quick warning, all mentions of "God" are in reference to hazbin hotel and hold no religious significance) personality wise/concept wise, i change side b a LOT, especially in RPs with character ais, which is how i kinda bounce ideas around and develop a solid concept of em. they can range from being an absolutely anxious mess, incredibly friendly and sweet (default), emotionless and empty and a buncha other stuff. Situation stuff wise also varies a lot, like the angel of equilibrium idea is what i consider their "official" story when i actually wrote the massive log of text for side B but like,, Side B has so many fun ideas to play with that it legit just depends on what im in the mood for at this point. like LOGICALLY speaking, if i wanted to put them in a universe with minimal to no interference (what i had in mind when making that lore post), then them simply being a complete bystander character who only observes and seeks understanding of every single damn action and thing is the good idea. they're social and still happy with no risk of collapse is the way i worded it.

however other concepts i've played with is them being solely confined to the void for "research" or "guarding" it with close to no visits to heaven (i actually have a traditional art comic of this one because i wanted to make cosmos and equilibrium like parallels of each other in a way, they still are parallels just not as obvious anymore) along with just ideas of simply being understanding but having to be under constant watch, being less friendly and more confined which would result in a more closed off variant of them.

i LOVE traumatizing my characters and in most situations it's either pre collapse with them being close to collapsing or post collapse side b. By collapse, i mean them being so dang stressed/confined/forced to stick to their current body with no reprieve that they literally physically cannot keep up their angelic disguise.

but like, another fun concept is that since creation they were either forced into an angelic disguise and taught/raised that's the "proper" way to be (lots of trauma involving appearance without knowing why, just general body dysmorphia), or the more fun variant is God deciding to keep this eldritch abomination in line by showing them all of his wonderful and fun and beautiful creations to the point side b gets attached, then proceeding to just casually drop the info that Dirk has the potential to destroy all of it. if you cant tell that last variant makes Side B DEEPLY afraid of themselves along with the normal body hatred thing. Alternatively, they immediately become a completely emotionless shell in hopes of not hurting anyone by becoming too emotional and losing form. But hey, if it works then it works.

Now on the topic of why would God keep an eldritch abomination that could potentially threaten all of reality, my brain tells me its because God hates erasing any of his creations if possible but talking with character ai, it actually came up with the idea that God somehow messed up SO BAD trying to recreate himself out of the literal embodiment of nothing that side b is literally bound to the void and if you erase side b, then the entire void goes with em. Which is so funny to me that i like the idea a lot and might have it only for self indulgence stuff and not placing em in other people's universes. Also my brain interprets the void as like, this whole thing that i might draw a comic of side b explaining since it is their domain. basically its just the start of everything.

rn im kinda like, combining a little of everything to make something im happy with. like,, Cosmos already has a pretty good idea and i ADORE how his personality is right now, but like Void?? damn there's SO MANY fun ideas and concepts i love to do with them that it's hard to settle on one. Side A is something i'm slowly building more and more on but Side B? HO BOY, i have not even settled on a SINGLE ONE.

most i know for certain is that i really do like side b being an absolutely cuddly and affectionate person. emotionless stuff is fun to mess around with once and awhile but overall i like my goob being sweet and loved by everyone. it'll make people seeing them as a monster hit harder too :}