#lee is a man that wanted a kid but could never have one

[mx-paint]

.

[babieken]

I was expecting so much more from Again My Life considering lee jungi was its main character but it was such a let down...

[sincerelyneo]

juno | l.hc

“one of me is cute, but two though…?”

💿now playing: juno by sabrina carpenter

❯ summary: Kids were never really something you thought about. But then you saw your sexy as fuck boyfriend playing uncle and now you can't stop thinking about giving him a baby of his own. What can you say...your hormones are high.

❯ pairings: haechan x fem!reader

❯ genre: smut, established relationship

❯ words: 2.7k

❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, unprotected sex (don't do this!), swearing, breeding and pregnancy kink, possessiveness, dirty talk, begging, praise, creampie, slight angst not really idk, fluff, reader uses she/her pronouns, literally just the reader getting baby fever from seeing hyuck with kids (very real el oh el.)

an: i know this is like my third haechan post in a week, but i literally don’t care. sue me x

You didn’t want kids. Well, that’s not true. You were indifferent to kids. 

That was until you saw your boyfriend with them. You didn’t think you could be more attracted to him, but then he had to go and check off the "great with kids" box. Maybe it’s just his playful side, but Lee Donghyuck is just so good with them.

And being forced to attend his niece’s first birthday party made you realise it. Honestly, you’d never given much thought to the idea of kids—cute yes, ready to give up endless nights of sleep, no. 

But the minute after you walked through his childhood family home and were done greeting his parents and siblings, a swarm of kids ran at him, hugging his legs and stomach. And he just melted into them, so gentle and excited. It was cute and made you smile. 

From then it was him letting his oldest niece cover his tanned cheeks in blush and stickers, to tossing a ball with his nephew after he announced he made the basketball team—and don’t even get started on him poking the chubby cheeks of his youngest niece, her soft giggles filling the backyard of the party. 

It was like he was in his element—soft, loving, and completely at ease. And even though his nieces and nephews had other uncles and aunts, they’d always say Uncle Hyuck was their favourite—even if they weren’t supposed to.

You watch him from the patio door in the kitchen, overhearing him tell his dad he’s “too young to be having the adult conversations,” which was really code for ‘let me play with the kids.’ 

Running around, telling jokes, creating games. It had your stomach turning and—were your heart strings being pulled? Seeing this absolute perfect man, so caring and playful, living just to make those little ones laugh and smile, had you seriously considering the sleepless nights that might come with having some of your own.

Wait. 

“He’s good with them, huh?”

You jolt, turning to see Hyuck’s sister standing behind you.

“Uh... yeah, I guess so,” you shrug. She steps beside you, and the two of you stand there, watching your boyfriend bounce his niece in his arms, soothing her gently.

She giggles, and you glance over at Hyuck’s sister again. “What?”

“Nothing,” she shrugs. “Just... you’re looking at him like you’re ready to add to the Lee family name.”

You gasp. “I am not!”

She gives you a knowing look, and you bite your lip, eyes shifting back to Hyuck. This time, he’s handing his niece a sippy cup, tapping her nose. Your chest tightens.

“Okay... I suppose he is good with them.”

Hyuck’s sister nods, humming in agreement. “He always has been. With every younger sibling, every cousin—even when I had my first daughter, Hyuck was the most excited.”

He’s sitting on the grass now, all his nieces and nephews swarming him, tickling him. He’s being extra dramatic, letting the younger ones tug at his hair just to make them laugh. You stare, warmth and wholesomeness filling you.

“He’d make a great dad, Y/N.”

The statement is completely sobering.

“Uh,” you stammer, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know. We haven’t really talked about it.”

That’s not entirely true. You had spoken about it—once. You’d told him it wasn’t something you had planned for but weren’t necessarily opposed to, and the conversation had never come up again.

Hyuck’s sister blinks at you, clearly confused. “That’s crazy. Hyuck’s always said he wants to be a dad.”

Clearly. 

There’s no denying that. It’s so obvious—every second he’s cupping up the kids, tickling them, teasing them. He looks so profoundly happy, so perfect. And it suddenly clicks for you.

This could be yours. Forever. He wants it. And now... you’re starting to think you want it, too. Him, this, forever. His kids. Your kids.

“Y/N! Y/N!” one of the younger kids calls, waving you over from across the backyard. “Can you play with us? We need more people to play the monsters. Uncle Hyuckie can’t do it on his own.”

And just like that, you’re being pulled away from the baby fever conversation and coaxed into joining them—not that it took much convincing. Your thoughts were starting to scare you a little. You’d never seriously thought about kids—until now.

Because you’d never seen Hyuck look more attractive than when he was playing dad.

“I can’t believe she’s one already,” Hyuck beams from where he’s stretched out on your bed. He’s been talking about the party nonstop since you got home. “Did you see the little bows in her hair? So fucking cute.”

You glance at him through the vanity mirror where you’re sitting, watching the way his face lights up, animated and so full of joy. There’s a warmth in your eyes, your lips curved into a soft smile as you take him in. He notices, raising an eyebrow.

“What’s that look for?” 

You stand and walk over to him, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his lips. His eyebrows knit together, more confused now.

“Y/N, what’s going on?”

You smile, sidestepping his question with one of your own. “Did you have fun today?”

“Yess…?” he replies, but there’s a trace of suspicion in his voice.

“Your family’s really nice.”

“Oh, are they now?” He squints playfully. “I saw you talking to my sister. I hope she wasn’t embarrassing me—she loves doing that.”

You shake your head with a giggle. “She wasn’t.”

“Okay…” he draws out. “Then what was she saying?” 

“That you’d be a good dad. That you want to be a dad.” 

Hyuck’s eyes widen and you mentally add this moment to the short list of times your boyfriend has been rendered completely speechless—still countable on one hand.

He coughs, his cheeks turning pink. “S-She said that?”

You nod, biting your lip to keep from laughing.

“And…what did you say back?”

You spread his legs out on the bed so you can slide between them, sitting there and looking up at him as he waits, eager for your response. He’s so cute like this—adorable, even—clearly dying to hear what you thought.

“I didn’t respond,” you admit honestly.

You catch the flicker of hurt in his eyes, but he covers it with a laugh—though it’s not genuine. You can tell he’s trying to brush it off, trying to pretend that he’d be okay with the possibility that you might not want that kind of future with him.

“She shouldn’t have said that,” he mumbles, embarrassed. “I used to talk about it a lot as a kid. I don’t really think like that now. I can’t, you know… because of my job.”

“So you don’t want kids because of your job?” You ask. The tone in your voice takes him by surprise because now you’re the one sounding hurt. 

“Baby... is this a trick question?” He laughs nervously.

You shake your head, crossing your arms across your chest. “No Hyuck. But I want you to answer it truthfully.” 

He shrugs, looking unsure. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it.”

“You’re lying.”

He lets out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Baby, I don’t know what you want me to say—”

“The truth,” you insist. 

He pauses, his gaze softening. “I love you, Y/N. You said kids weren’t really part of your plan, and that’s okay,” he begins, his voice steady but sincere. “And yeah, maybe I always kind of thought kids would be in mine, but then I met you. And you became my plan.”

You grab a hold of his hand and squeeze. It draws a genuine smile from him before he speaks again. 

“I know we’ve never talked about it since. But I’m fine with anything—as long as it’s with you.”

You smile, his comment pulling at your heartstrings because you feel the exact same way. 

“Those kids absolutely adore you, Hyuck,” you say and he gives a half smile. 

“Well, I am their favourite Uncle.” 

You trail a soft finger up and down the naked skin of his arm. His eyes follow your touch and that furrowed expression is on his face again. 

“Y/N what’s going on with you? You’re confusing me—”

“You know—” you cut him off. “I think you’d be a great dad.” 

He stares at you, properly taking you in. He’s never seen this side of you before, and you’ve never given him a compliment quite like that before. The thought of you being into the idea of him as a dad… well, he didn’t expect it to turn him on this much. Maybe it’s the way your fingers brush his arm? Yeah no, it’s not.

“Today made me realise something,” you say, shifting to straddle his hips, your arms wrapping around his neck now. He raises a curious brow, waiting. “You look so hot with kids. The thought of you being a dad is so fucking hot, Hyuck.”

Hyuck smiles at the confession, and his hands move to grip your ass as he ground your hips forward on himself. You let out a small gasp of surprise as you feel him. 

“Please don’t joke like that, Y/N,” he whines, eyes squeezing shut. “Because I’ve been thinking about you being the mother of my kids since the day I met you.”

You giggle, biting your lip to stifle the soft moans escaping you as he grinds you slowly against his growing bulge.

“Well, why don’t you do something about it then,” you tease breathlessly, feeling the hardness of him through his sweatpants.

Hyuck’s mouth parts, caught somewhere between awe and shock, but before he can question how serious you are, your lips capture his, and your tongue is slipping inside his mouth to deepen the kiss.

The groan you both share is synchronised, and it’s all the encouragement he needs to flip you over, hovering above you with a renewed sense of urgency to make promise of your teasing. 

His fingers hook into your panties, sliding them off as you shift upward against your pillows, tossing your nightgown aside. Hyuck strips out of his own clothes, desperate to press his bare skin against yours, his need overwhelming any sense of patience.

He kisses you back roughly, passionately. Fuelled by your impossible hotness and readiness to be fucked—fucked by him. Your tongue dips deeper and deeper into his mouth, never satisfied, craving more of him. You cling to him, your hands and legs moving over his skin, desperate to feel every inch. Your hips roll up, slickness coating his shaft, causing a rippling gasp to leave his mouth. 

Hyuck pulls back with dark eyes. You—his girl—naked and desperate under him, begging him to do something about his baby fever—your baby fever. It’s the hottest shit he’s ever seen. His new favourite thing. His obsession. He loves seeing you like this, he decides—so willing, so desperate for him, for his cock. Needing him to bring you the pleasure only he can give. And he’ll make sure you remember that once you're carrying his child.

The image floods his mind—your stomach growing, swelling with his baby, the glow in your smile as you hold his child. A family, all with him. Only him. Because you want his kids.

The last thought pushes him over the edge, and with a low growl, he bites down on your neck, lips and teeth claiming your skin. He wants you marked by him—like always—but this time it’s different. It’s possessive. Primal. Feral. His saliva wet on your neck, dark bruises blooming over your breasts, his fingers burning prints into your hips, and his seed buried deep inside your soaking wet cunt.

His cock jumps when you roll your hips again, your whimpers causing him to groan and eyes roll back. You sound so desperate. Desperate to make him your forever. 

“Hyuck—” you sob as his teeth graze your nipple, sending it hardening under his touch. “Please, I need to feel you.”

His eyes sparkle with lust as he drapes your legs over his waist and leans down, capturing your mouth in a long, needy kiss. He aligns himself with your slick pussy, your fingers clawing at his back as he slowly eases into you. He fills you completely, lifting your hips to bury himself deeper.

“So fucking pretty like this,” he mumbles, pulling away to admire the way you take his thick cock. “Taking me so well, always so good for me, aren’t you, baby?”

You moan as his cock hits every spot inside you—so deep, so hard, so good. Each thrust drags along your walls in a way that feels divine.

“Can’t wait until you’re mine, so full of me,” he whispers, kissing your neck. You whimper, your walls clenching at his words, urging him to quicken his pace. “Do you want that, baby? Want my cum inside this pretty pussy?”

“Yes—fuck yes—please.”

“Say it for me,” he requests softly, a gentle yet desperate edge in his voice. “Please tell me.”

“I want to be yours; make me yours,” you breathe out.

Hyuck's gaze drops to your lips, entranced by the words spilling from them. He thrusts harder, your nails digging into his skin as you pull him closer. Your cunt swallows his cock whole, turning his thrusts sloppy, and he groans.

You’re practically sobbing with how fast he’s driving into you, so close to seeing stars.

“You’re so good at taking me,” he praises, his breath ragged. “Gonna make me fill you.”

You squeeze around him, and the thought of cumming inside you sends a shiver through his thighs, making his breathing stutter.

“Yes! Fuck, please keep going,” You pant. 

“Want you so full of me that it’s dripping down your leg. And then I’ll push it back in when I fuck you again.”

Your breaths grow louder and quicker, matching his as you both teeter on the edge. He kisses you deeply, your mouths suffocating each other as you grip his soft brown hair. His fingers dig into your hips, holding you tight.

“Hyuck—I’m gonna cum.”

“So fucking good, baby,” he moans in awe. “I’m going to fill you with my cum. I want you overflowing with my seed—fuck!” He grunts hoarsely, his body tightening with tension.

Your walls shatter around him, tightening and fluttering on his cock as you cum. Hyuck holds you close, so intimately, holding himself deep inside you as he feels the first spurts of his cum shooting from his cock. 

He doesn’t stop, his hips still moving gently, making sure you take everything, softening each thrust with tender kisses along your bare shoulders. You sigh dreamily, fingers threading through his hair, and he smiles, still half-hard inside you. You’re exhausted, and the sight of your sleepy expression makes his heart twist. Leaning down, he presses a soft kiss to your lips, and for a moment, you stay like that—so close, so intimate.

But as the post-orgasm bliss begins to fade, a flicker of panic flashes in his eyes.

“Fuck—” he mutters, pulling himself off of you quickly. There’s a gnawing feeling in his chest, a sudden guilt. “Y/N, I’m really sorry, I got caught up in the moment. Do you want me to run to the store—”

“No.” You shake your head and grab his arm, keeping him close. “I don’t want you to. If that’s okay…”

His eyes darken with lust before a slow smile spreads across his face.

“Y-yeah… that’s more than okay with me,” he says, nodding eagerly.

“Who knows?” You shrug with a teasing grin. “I might not even get pregnant this time.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “This time?”

You nod confidently. “Yeah, this time. Because we’re going to keep doing this until I am pregnant, Hyuck.”

His grin widens as he climbs back into bed, pulling you into his arms.

“I never thought I’d hear you say that, especially not when I woke up this morning,” he laughs, pressing soft kisses along your neck.

You giggle, leaning into his touch. “What can I say? Seeing you in dad mode made me so fucking horny.”

[bywons]

✧ YOU BELONG WITH ME ENHYPEN—

╰—— 𝗈𝗋 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗋𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇

( ✶🪽 𝓢. ) 𝖾𝗇𝗁𝗒𝗉𝖾𝗇 x 𝖿! 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 g. 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗇𝗌, 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿 1796 𝒘𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗌 !𝗃𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗈𝗎𝗌𝗒, 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉, 𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 ✦ ◞ 𝒞ATALOGUE?!

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LEE HEESEUNG tightens the grip around your waist and pulls you in until you bump by his side. you could easily figure out the fake smile plastered on his face, holding you tight by his side in front of his friends. 

“so, is he more handsome than me?”, he whispers as soon as his friends are gone. it took you a couple of minutes to realise why he had a death grip on you, “you seem to like him a lot.” a single conversation with him has heeseung going tomato red now.

“what do you think?”, you scoff, looking him dead in the eye. 

“he's got the old fashioned looks, a proper gentleman with a perfect sense of timing. your kinda guy,” his eyes twitched while defining the guy, oh how bad he wanted to punch him.

“you know, you sound like one of my friends with terrible taste trying to set me up on a blind date”, you laugh, wrapping your hand around his suited biceps. “yep,” heeseung scoffs, “he will go blind soon.” 

“what do you think of me—?” 

“i love you a lot”, you roll your eyes and chuckle, now walking side by side with heeseung, his grip still present on you, “nobody can replace my bambi boy.” 

“your bambi boy huh?”, heeseung realises he can never be angry with his pretty girl when he melts the second he hears his nickname by you, pressing a small kiss on your cheeks and pulling you in. 

“you want it to be somebody else?”, you smirk.

“hey!” 

PARK JONGSEONG keeps a steady frown on his face, watching you finish up your pastry. he's not the type to sulk over things, if there's any problem the first thing he does is talk it out with you, and maybe have a small ice cream date later. but it's been 4 days now, that stupid frown won't leave his face, accompanied with his cold replies, even on this café date!

“is something bothering you these days?”, the fork softly clings against the plate, you try to hold in a giggle, “babe you know can tell me anything,” his sulky face is kinda cute.

“nope, i'm all good,” jay forces a smile. red flag, he's not calling you ‘love’.

“jay, you haven't even touched your pudding,” you sigh.

jay puts on a good serious thinking face, slowly withdrawing his hands from the table and releasing a deep sigh. this thing looks really serious. oh poor jay, what's wrong?

“well”, jay clears his throat before he goes off, “i really didn't think you were like this y/n i didn't expect this from you, if i did something wrong you could've just said that you know how much i love you i would do everything!”

“jay, what are you—”

“and the fuck kinda name's benjamin anyways? like hell we're not in the 19th century, y/n you could do better.”

oh. so that's what it's about. he thinks you're cheating on him, because you left your shared apartment for some benjamin guy for 3 days straight. you don't blame him though, you owe him an explanation.

“babe,” you sigh, “it's not what you think, remember benjamin? my cousin sister's child? i visit her to babysit him.”

“.....the one who called me uncle?”, jay's expression softens, instead he's shocked now.

“yeah!”, you giggle, putting your hand over his for comfort, shooting him a sorry look. “i hate that kid”, jay scoffs, you sigh.

SIM JAEYUN lets out a groan while he stares at the anime plushie in your arms. you're basically burying your face in it snuggling it, and if that wasn't enough the plushie is a man!

no way jake has to compete with a fictional man now.

“why do you need that ugly plushie when im here…”, jake whines, plopping down right beside you and scooting even closer, “am i not good enough?”

“did you just call toji fushiguro ugly?”, a frown casts upon your face as you whip your head around to shoot a glare at your boyfriend. poor him, he's too confused and jealous for this, he really wants to replace the plushie in your arms. “you're out of your mind jake.”

“i am in fact very willing to be out of my mind and be crazy for you,” jake rolls his eyes, shifting closer to you until there's only a pillow between you and him, which he soon throws away. the fresh smell of laundry and cologne floats from his sweatshirt and hits your nose, it always puts you at ease, and you miss the warm afternoons with him, just snuggling and all over each other, giggling over random past memories. “but i know for sure that plushie will…not do that for you,” jake breaks you from your trance.

“how about you show me that?”, you wink at him. heck, have you been staring at him too long?

“now you're talking”, jake smirks, snatching away the plushie from you as he sets it aside, practically throwing himself on top of you, engulfing you within his strong arms to press a series of kisses on your face, “fuck that ugly plushie.”

PARK SUNGHOON sighs, entering your shared bedroom with a bored face and arms folded. some obvious yet subtle signs he's disappointed by you, but the last disappointing thing you remember you did was eat his tiramisu. what crime have you committed now?

the bored expression quickly turns into a playful one as he clears his throat, tilting his head to one side, “are you resisting the urge to kiss and make up with me right now?”

“no not really”, you answer instantly, typing away on your laptop. but then you realised what he actually just said. with squinted eyes and a smile, you turn your head towards him, “kiss and make up? what exactly happened for us to do that?”

“i think it's about time you stop texting your best friend”, sunghoon sits down beside you giving you the meanest eye roll ever. he scoffs, “i don't get why she hates me and you don't do anything about it. it's like you two backbitch about me.”

“you won't believe it but i actually rant about you all the time to her”, you giggle, sunghoon's cheeks blooms from underneath, “she's sick of my extreme love for you.”

you let out a gasp as sunghoon pulls you in his lap, a coy smirk playing around his lips, “she should be. everyone should know i'm the best boyfriend in the world.”

you hook your arms around his neck and pull him closer, “so was the kiss and make up part just an excuse to kiss me.”

“maybe”, sunghoon chuckles, pulling you in for a chaste kiss, “who knows.”

KIM SUNOO stares straight into your phone screen, while listening to you ramble about your day and how it was. and when it glows to reveal the lock screen, sunoo feels infuriated.

“seriously now y/n, i can't believe this!”, sunoo's sudden shift in position causes your head, which was lying on his shoulders, to hit the bed frame, “like this is too much”, he seethes.

you utter a small ‘ouch’ and rub the hurt spot, a confused “what?” leaving your mouth, “wh-what do you mean?”

“you know what i mean, love”, he rolls his eyes, taking your phone and holding up the lockscreen in front of your face. it's not him. it's a random tv show character that he doesn't even know about. it should be him, it must be him, not a guy he doesn't know. “am i really being robbed of my wallpaper privileges?”, he sighs.

you let out a heavier sigh, putting up one of those smiles sunoo can't help but blush to. “don't you worry, love. maybe i don't want other girls to perceive my man. but if you're begging for it, i'll change it”, you giggle.

sunoo let's a sigh of relief and scoffs, “i'm not begging—”

“on one condition though, my head hurts!”

“aww come here, let me kiss it better”, he smiles, pulling you in again.

YANG JUNGWON literally just spawns right behind you as soon as the guy you're talking to at your friend's birthday party decides to make a move on you.

“go find someone who's not taken dude”, jungwon's eyes are green as he spits his words out, your waist already accompanied by his hand. the poor guy leaves in a hurry, not wanting to mess with the intimidating yang jungwon.

jungwon then turns to you, a shadow over his face, he's obviously upset about this, jealous even. “if you were that bored you could've called me”, jungwon mumbles.

“you were in the restroom, ‘won”, you sigh, placing a hand on his broad chest you pout, “are you…jealous—?”

“of course i'm jealous, i leave my pretty girl alone for one minute and some hipster comes and thinks he can have my girl?”, jungwon pauses for a moment to look into your cresent eyes looking up at him, you're smiling, “no. fucking. way.”

“well, it's good for you that i'm yours and only yours”, you reassure him, planting a soft kiss on his cheek and you have his breathtaking smile back. he grins at you before kissing you back, “now let's go home, i hate this party.”

NISHIMURA RIKI follows you around like a lost puppy after the dance class with his heart in shatters. just an hour ago, your dance teacher assigned partners for the upcoming festival. and it just looks like the universe is definitely not on riki's side cause you two were not paired.

“listen i'm gonna tell mrs. lee to make you my partner and i'm very sure she will listen, trust me! because you can't just—”

“riki, it's okay! it's just a project it'll be over till next week!”, you comfort your boyfriend ‘cause you know mrs. lee is a tough case, she won't crack at all. “besides, we'll be practising in the same hall.”

“exactly! that way that asshole can tease me how he got you”, riki sighs, plopping down on the benches, “i want to dance with you.”

“and i want to dance with you”, you sigh, sitting down beside him, “but you know mrs. lee would never rearrange.”

riki pulls you in a tight hug. he breathes in the vanilla scent of your hoodie before pulling back, gazing into your eyes, “if that dumbass holds you by your waist, i will go insane.”

“i won't let him do that”, you laugh, hitting his chest.

“can't we just drop out of this already? we can be the audience instead”, riki whines.

“i agree, kissing in the audience and booing them would be way better”, you nod your head. niki laughs, “you're the best girlfriend.”

© bywons, 2024. do not copy, translate or upload any of my works without my permission.

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[mingtinys]

in a thousand lifetimes

pairing : choi seungcheol x gn!reader

hurt / comfort , angst , mafia leader!scoups au

warnings : language , descriptions of blood , mafia themes

word count : 3.5 k

requested ? no

a/n : there's just something about the domestic side of mafia au's that i just love so dearly . secretly soft and fragile mafia leader crying in the arms of their loved one >>>>>>> ruthless and cold mafia leaders .

The day you stood by Seungcheol at the altar, you promised a myriad of unconditional vows, as did he. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health— until death do you part. To love him without doubt and cherish the heart he had so willingly placed in your care. You swore to cradle it with gentle hands; to keep it safe from shattering until the very last beat.

You were prepared for that. Excited, even.

But as Seungcheol limps through the entrance of the home you've built together, you feel your confidence in that pact falter for the first time. Perhaps you'd missed something in your vows. The part that told you what to do when the love of your life comes home stained in red. From his white button-up to his polished shoes— even his sweet, sweet face— tarnished.

You don't want him to hear the way your voice trembles. But God, that stench. That pungent scent of iron coats your throat and you can't help the way it constricts to keep the subsequent wave of nausea at bay.

"Cheol?"

His head snaps up at you like he's just now realized where he is. Glazed-over eyes connect with the wood floors you'd spent an hour mopping, then to his shaking hands painted in crimson, before that stale gaze finally lifts and meets your own.

"Are you hurt?"

He shakes his head.

"Seungcheol..." You take cautious steps his way, like how one would approach a wild deer. "Who's blood is this?"

Tears are in his eyes, but his face remains rigid. Like his brain is stuck in survival mode, but his emotions are leaking out.

"Chan's."

The boy's name hits your ears like venom. Sweet, gentle, kind, Lee Chan. The youngest intern under Seungcheol's leadership, you'd met him once at a company dinner. You don't think you've ever met someone with such a heart of gold. And it's a little hard to imagine you could be staring at all that's left of him. "Oh my God, is he okay? What happened?"

Seungcheol's face twists at your questions, some memory pulling at his brows and forcing his eyes shut. They open with fresh tears and the first ounce of clarity cracks through his otherwise dazed state.

"He's in the hospital—" You see the words catch in his throat. His fist repeatedly pounds against his thigh and his mouth hangs open until the words finally come. "It's my fault. He's just a kid, this is all my fault— he shouldn't have been there. They shouldn't have been able to get to him. It was too dangerous, he wasn't ready."

Nothing of his fragmented words makes any sort of sense. You've never seen him like this, so frazzled, so pitiful, so... broken. The sight of it twists your heart, contorting in your chest to such an unnatural degree there's a physical ache.

So, despite the nausea burning your esophagus and the screams of protest deep within your bones, your arms open and gravity pulls Seungcheol into them with labored steps. His knees buckle instantly at the contact and it takes every ounce of strength in your arms to catch him. Letting yourself sink with him to soften the fall; even if that means your knees land with a painful thud, already able to feel purple bruises blossoming from the impact.

Because you love him.

Because you vowed not only for better but for worse as well. And vows are only as good as the turmoils they prove to withstand.

Calloused hands grip the sides of your shirt. You try to ignore the stains they leave, pushing your focus onto the man before you on the brink of hysterics. His forehead falls to your chest, and that's when the most wretched sobs you've ever had the displeasure of hearing begin. Loud and sharp, like the blade of a sword, as they slice through the eerily still night.

A chill creeps in from where your knees connect with the hardwood and crawls up the length of your spine. It nests in your mind and metastasizes, igniting alarms in that little part of your brain that warns: you should be scared. Though it doesn't grant you the knowledge of what.

"Baby, what happened?" You ask and recite a silent prayer the answer to that is not him.

He sobs out an unpromising, "I can't."

"Seungcheol, there is too much blood for that shit. You need to tell me what the hell is going on." Your eyes are starting to burn with the flood breaching your lashes, unsure how much longer you can force an ease into your tone.

You need him to just spit it out. Before your heart explodes.

You steady his head between your palms and swipe at the blood spatter decorating his jawline. It just smears, mixing with his tears and tinting more of his cheek in a dull brownish-red. Seungcheol looks at you with eyes that scream please don't hate me and you don't know but... you know. Enough that when the confession finally pours from his lips, the shock doesn't totally shatter your ribs on impact. Instead, the words slowly seep into your skin and enter your bloodstream like a bitter poison.

Suddenly, minuscule details make much more sense, revealing the full picture like a jigsaw puzzle falling into place. The nights he doesn't return until the sun breaches the horizon. The general air of mystery around his job and the "family business" he took over years ago. How insistent he had been with you learning some type of self-defense. All the way down to the dried blood that lingered under his fingernails.

You should be levels more upset than you are at his confession. Any normal person would be. He lied to you, for years. Hid a secret so large it could easily blow a crater in the earth should the measly stilts it balanced on collapse. Yet, the anger you feel doesn't boil over into a blind rage. It stirs with concern and simmers until it has been diluted into nothing but the type of anger that can only be fueled by love. It comes with the terrifying revelation that the person you love most in this world, could've been stolen from you at any moment and you would've been none the wiser as to how. It makes you want to hold him a little extra in the mornings, a little harder, closer.

Then, somewhere, in that tangled web of emotions fighting to reach the surface, there's an unexpected relief. Because one thing has been glaringly obvious since the day you met Choi Seungcheol. The reason he appears as such a pillar of strength relies solely on the fact that he shoulders the weight of the world alone. Rarely does he let his struggles reach his cheery expression. You can't help but think, now that you know, there's one less burden he has to carry by himself.

"Please don't leave me," Seungcheol rasps out. You'd nearly forgotten where you were for a moment. Forgot his face was still between your hands, that blood still smeared his cheek, and tears were still slipping from his lashes. But at this moment, as those weary earth-brown eyes search your face for an answer, you realize just how malleable your morals are when it comes to him.

"I love you." You confess, like it's the first time the phrase has ever left your lips. "Cheol, I love you more than anything in this world." So much it frightens you what you're willing to forgive.

But then again it doesn't. Because he's never been Choi Seungcheol, the city's most feared mob boss. To you, he's always just been Cheol. The man that nearly burned your kitchen down two anniversaries ago trying to make you breakfast in bed. Who pouts and whines when you haven't given him enough attention after work. Who's touch has only ever been as gentle as a Summer's breeze. And maybe you're naive, but you'd like to believe the Seungcheol that peppers your face with kisses every morning and begs for five extra minutes in bed is a truer reflection of his heart than his job.

With one final deep breath to steel your nerves and silence the brigade of questions swirling in your head, you press a long kiss to his temple— one of the only areas not tainted with red. The tension in his muscles visibly melts away at the contact and beyond anything he just looks... tired. You want nothing more than to let him rest in the safety of your arms, but he's still covered in Chan's blood.

"Let's get you cleaned up, yeah?" You coax him from the floor, never once letting your voice slip above a gentle whisper. He tries to protest, insisting he needs to be at the hospital with the others to check on Chan, but puts up absolutely no fight when you tell him that can wait until tomorrow as you guide him towards the bathroom.

You gather towels and fresh clothes and lay them out on the vanity. "Take your time, okay? I won't go far, promise." With one last reassurance, you leave Seungcheol in privacy to shower and clean the blood from his skin.

Alone now, the adrenaline in your veins dissolves, and the full gravity of everything finally crashes around you. The metallic scent lingering in the air, the drying blood on the hardwood, the feeling of impending doom that comes with a truth so heavy. It's too much, at least to bear in such a tiny apartment. You all but sprint out the front door, accidentally letting it shut with a hefty slam.

The warm Summer night air hits your skin and wraps around you like a security blanket. You inhale deeply, once, twice, thrice, and on the fourth breath, it feels like the oxygen finally reaches the base of your lungs.

You sit, for a length of time you remain ignorant to, at the bottom of the stairwell. Lost deep in thought until the buzzing of your phone reverberates from your back pocket. You look at it but— no caller I.D.

Answering it anyway, a sense of comfort fills you at the familiar voice.

"Jeonghan." You greet.

"I'm sorry to call so late," He says, voice languid. "I just wanted to know if Seungcheol got home safe yet."

"He did."

There's a long pause of silence. Just the steady beeps of a heart monitor on the other side of the line. Then, "Is Chan okay?"

"Yeah, he's sleeping right now. Doctors gave him some of the good shit to knock him out for the night." There's a hesitance to the way he speaks and you think perhaps he's weighing in his mind what excuse Seungcheol might have told you as to why Chan is even in the hospital to begin with.

"Jeonghan, can I ask you something?"

"I can't promise I'll have an answer, but sure." He's always been so calculated in the way he speaks, which makes sense to you now.

You chew at the inside of your cheek. "Seungcheol, he... He keeps himself safe, right?"

"You know." He sighs, matter of fact.

"I do."

"He's careful, smart, keeps his hands clean-ish. We all look after each other, he's about as safe as he can be." The man on the other end of the line yawns, and you wonder how long he's been up wondering if Seungcheol made it home before he finally called. That in and of itself should comfort you and prove Seungcheol has people who care about him when you're not around, but it doesn't. You don't think anything ever could at this point. Perhaps it was better not knowing the truth.

"That doesn't exactly make me feel better."

Jeonghan snorts. "I didn't think it would."

Another stretch of silence spans over the line for an uncomfortably long time. So long, you begin to think maybe the call disconnected. But that steady beeping is still there, quiet, but there.

Then Jeonghan speaks, his sudden words sending ice pricking through your veins. "You're an accomplice now, you know?" His voice carries no emotion. It's as if he's reading the words straight from an instruction manual. "Unless, of course, you turn him in."

Oh.

You hadn't thought of that.

"Would you?"

His question lingers in the air like smoke, suffocating your airways so much it feels like you might choke before you can even answer.

Never has the idea of betraying Seungcheol's trust ever been a thought in your head, much less an option. But he's right. Your newfound knowledge makes you just as much a criminal in the eyes of the law as if you had committed the act yourself. It's either fess up while you still can or guard his secret with, quite literally, your life.

Perhaps you were a bit hasty. It was easy to hold Seungcheol in your arms and whisper comforting words between his sobs. However, when it comes to your own fate, you're forced to reckon with the dread that washes over you like a bucket of ice, alone.

Still, you're embarrassed that not even a shred of doubt weighs your decision. Just an immeasurable amount of guilt.

"No."

"You don't sound so sure."

"It's a lot to process." You defend, trying not to let your voice waver too much under Jeonghan's scrutiny.

"I know it is," He relents, and suddenly, his voice shifts back to the soothing, angelic tone you've always been used to. "I'm sorry, I haven't even asked how you're feeling."

The conversation lulls in what you assume is Jeonghan leaving space for you to share if so you wish. You don't— knowing that if you were to loosen even a single thread tethering your mind in the realm of sanity, it would all unravel. You've only just begun to construct the brittle wall that separates your Seungcheol from the one covered in blood. If it were to take a blow so early and come crumbling down, you fear you may not have the strength needed to start over.

Your current position is precarious and emotions are already tricky— pouring them out to Seungcheol's best friend even more so.

"I'm fine. I should probably get back to Cheol." You say instead.

Jeonghan hums. "He's had a rough night." Steady beeps still pulse like a metronome in the background, mixing with a subtle chatter. "Let him know everyone is okay and if you two need anything, just call."

"I'll tell him."

"That means you too."

A voice calls Jeonghan's name and the line goes dead before you can say anything more. Not that you had much else left to say— or anything that would be news to Jeonghan at least. It felt like he knew more about your spinning mind in one phone call than you'd pieced together since Seungcheol stumbled through the door.

Seungcheol.

Seungcheol, who's been alone in your tiny apartment for who knows how long at this point. With nothing but his thoughts and a water heater that runs out far too quickly to comfort him. Your heart aches at the idea of him crumpled up in the basin of the porcelain tub alone.

Seungcheol, whom you find sitting at the kitchen island with his head in his hands— hunched over a steaming mug of tea— upon your return. His hair hangs down in damp strings, dripping onto his pair of comfort sweatpants, the ones he tends to gravitate towards when he's had a long day.

The door clicks shut behind you and his head snaps up with lightning quick reflexes. A wild look flashes in his eyes, but it melts away almost as quick as it came. His shoulders slump with relief and for what seems like an eternity, he just let's his gaze linger.

"I didn't think you were coming back." He rasps. His fingers curl around the mug, siphoning off some of its warmth to combat the slight chill in the air.

His hands are clean now— free of any trace of dark red— then again, they never really were. Probably never will be.

"To be honest, I wasn't completely sure I was." You're still some distance away from where he sits, a fact you're made painfully aware of by the way his eyes flit between you and the door. As if he expects you to flee at any moment.

"I would understand, you know?" His voice is as soft and genuine as it was the day he said I do. "I wouldn't be mad. My job, this life, it was never supposed to be your burden. You can walk out and I wouldn't—" His voice catches and he takes a swig of his tea, cringing at the temperature as it goes down. "—I wouldn't stop you."

You know he wouldn't. Because Choi Seungcheol is a good man. There would not be a ring on your finger if he wasn't. It's why you're so comfortable closing the distance that separates you two.

It's why you're so comfortable excusing all of his wrongs.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"You should." He croaks. Tears gather at his waterline and on instinct, you wipe the first to fall away. But more continue to silently slip down his cheeks. Unable to catch them fast enough, you step between his legs and guide his forehead to your shoulder with a gentle hand on the back of his neck.

Seungcheol lets out a shaky breath as your fingers trail down the nape of his neck to just between his shoulders, then back up again. You hold him. Just as you've held his heart for years. Delicate. Like handling glass.

"I love you," He whispers. "I'm sorry I lied, I— all I ever wanted was to keep you safe."

"I know."

He tilts his head back, staring up at you with damp cheeks and bloodshot eyes. "I don't deserve you."

You tuck a piece of hair that's fallen into his eye behind his ear. "I could find you in a thousand lifetimes and there wouldn't be a single one where that'd be true."

"I'd still spend every one of those thousand lifetimes making it up to you." His hands grip your hips, holding you steady, as if he's still scared you'll run away.

"You." You hold the underside of his chin so he can't divert his gaze for your next words. Your tone is a firm, bordering on authoritative. "Make it up to me by coming home."

Seungcheol nods, but it's not a good enough answer for you.

"Don't ever make me plan your funeral, Choi Seungcheol. Do you understand? You cannot do that to me."

"I won't."

"Promise me. Because I swear if I ever have to hear from Jeonghan that you're not coming home I swear I'll—"

Seungcheol takes your hand from his chin and pulls it flat against his chest. The quick but rhythmic beats of his heart calms your barrage of threats instantaneously.

"I promise."

The words leave his lips slowly. Each syllable is enunciated loud and clear, so the sincerity with which he says them can reach your ears without doubt. His words linger in the air and all you can focus on is his pulse. How terrified you are that one day it'll stop before your own. That there could come a night where your head rests against empty sheets instead of his chest. No longer lulled to sleep by its steady beating.

That thought rattles you more than any crime Seungcheol could commit.

It takes Seungcheol's thumb grazing over your cheekbone to realize you're crying. But then it becomes unstoppable. More worries spilling out in the form of tears. It's the not knowing that may be the end of you.

"I want you in this lifetime, Cheol. I don't want to wait until the next to live a full life with you. So I need you to keep that promise."

Seungcheol rises from his seat and brings you into his chest. Allowing you to hide away from the horrors of it all in his strong embrace. "There's nothing I wouldn't do to make it home to you." He reassures. And the sheer determination in his voice makes you believe him.

"And no more secrets, okay?" You mumble against the soft fabric of his shirt. "I want you to tell me everything."

"It's better if I don't." He whispers with a deep exhale. And you want to be more upset with his answer than you are. But he keeps rocking you side to side and pressing long kisses to your temple.

"All you need to know is that none of it comes before you." The sincerity in his voice is as prominent as it was reciting his vows. "Everything I've built. All the money and power in the world— I'd burn it all to the ground for you."

[sooniebby]

ఌ 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑

w.c › 11k

warnings › This is an OC. Reader’s last name is Lee. Internalized homophobia from reader. Religious guilt 10x. Thanks @sauvhffp for that Drabble, I borrowed an idea you presented in it. I don’t hate religious people pls don’t think that.

plot › You’re a cog in the machine that is capitalism, wondering if the days are worth it. When you meet a certain man that will make you wish for your mundane life again.

kinks › humping, handjobs, praise, lite pet play, degradation

words to know › Hyung (형) — a term a younger male with call an older male. Seonbae (선배) — term for someone in a higher position, can be work/school. Yeobo (여보) — “darling/honey” only married couples use this term. Gangaji (강아지) — puppy. Eonni (언니) — term a younger girl will call an older girl.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟭

두통

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

다가와. 다가와, 자기야.

“Are you that scared of me? Or… are you scared of what this means for you? What you’re hiding deep inside.”

내가 너를 유���하니?

“When you kneel for your God, do you think of when you kneeled for me?”

너무 순종적이잖아. 맛보고 싶지 않아?

“Kneeling for me in the same room your mother kneeled for Christ.”

그만해? 왜? 나는 진실만 말해.

“You can’t forget me, Lee (Name). Even with my body rotting right outside your door. You’ll find another me.”

“And he’ll break you; showing you true temptation.”

“Yah! Lee (Name)! Wake up!”

You gasped, sitting up. A paper was stuck to your cheek from your drool as you rubbed at your eyes, trying to fight the sleep that was threatening to seep back in. Another slam at your desk caused you to shriek as you glanced over at who was causing the commotion.

It wasn’t your boss, thankfully. But it was still a higher up, Park Minhee.

“Lee (Name), have you completed the paper I sent you this morning? You seem to be comfortably napping during work hours.” She said, raising an eyebrow. Her back straightened as she looked down at you like you were a little kid, not another adult that was only four years younger than her.

“Yes, Miss Park. I did finish it, I sent it straight to the boss.” You quickly answered, pulling off the paper stuck to your cheek. Minhee stared at you for a moment before letting out a humph.

She turned her attention to your colleagues who were watching the exchange. “Don’t follow in Lee (Name)’s footsteps, you hear? When you finish your work early, you will gladly get up and come ask me for more work. Do you understand?”

It took a moment before everyone reluctantly agreed. Minhee smiled, pushing up her circular glasses as she walked off, her heels clicking against the recently polished ground.

Your body felt limp once she was finally out of earshot. You could hear murmuring from your coworkers, a few a bit snarky about Minhee’s attitude being your fault.

“You okay, Seonbae?”

You glanced over to see Kim Eunha. Eunha was recently hired after being an intern for almost two years. It was pure luck she got the job here. Even for you, you were about to quit as an intern before you finally got the job.

Eunha was sweet. One of the only people you actually liked at your job.

“I’m okay. I just haven’t been sleeping well.” You muttered, rubbing the bridge of your nose.

“Oh! Here.” Eunha moved to grab something off her desk before handing it over to you. It was a glasses cleaner. You thanked her, taking off your glasses as you cleaned the marks off them.

Eunha hummed for a moment before grinning nervously. “Uhm, Seonbae. I was wondering if you were coming to the party Friday night.”

“Party?”

“Mhm. It’s being held for Kang Taeyeon’s birthday. She invited the whole department.”

“I don’t think I want to go. No one here besides you likes me.”

“Please?” Eunha frowned, sighing slightly. “You never come to the dinners or parties we hold. It might help bridge the gap if you attend them.”

You knew she was technically right. With you continuously pushing yourself away from your coworkers, the gap was wide.

But you didn’t necessarily feel like bridging it. There was no way you wanted to get close to people.

“I’ll think about it.” It was only Monday. You had four days to think about it. Eunha beamed at your words and eagerly went back to her assignment.

Like you’d actually want to go.

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

Your family was relatively agonistic when you were growing up. Mom and Dad didn’t care too much about religion to raise you under it with your elder sisters. While your mother’s family were strict Christian conservatives, your father’s family was practically the opposite.

Though you couldn’t necessarily call him your father these days, could you?

It wasn’t until your tenth birthday that something cracked in your family. The once happy family of five soured.

And it was all your fault. That’s what your father screamed every day and night as he cried into a beer bottle.

Your mother was unfaithful.

Unfaithful for so long that your sisters were technically your half sisters.

After that, your mother and father didn’t divorce for some odd reason. Mom began to wallow in self pity about her actions and turned to God. Her once flip-floppy faith turned solid. Anything to make her feel good about herself.

Your father took his anger out on you.

The eldest sister, having reached the age of twenty, was embarrassed by her family’s history. More so that she dared to happily love an affair baby. She hardly talks to you as if you asked to be born from a man your mother fucked on the side.

Everyday from then on, you were dragged to church each Sunday with your mother’s family. They practically beamed at having you at arms reach. Your weak mind took in all of the prayers and sermons to heart, hoping that maybe, just maybe, your family will come back.

Your family would come back once you repented your sins.

Sins…?

Ten year old Lee (Name) was sinful.

Your therapist had laughed when you said that.

You haven’t gone back to see him in over a year. So sensitive you were. The mere thought of everything that you learned being wrong made you feel sick.

“(Name), you made it. Your sisters are already here.”

Your feet always hesitated before you walked into your parents’ house. It was like your body was trying to protect you but you would always ignore it. Your mother rushed you inside as you slipped off your shoes, following after her.

“Afternoon.” Your eldest sister, Yerin, didn’t attempt to look up from her phone.

“Hi, how was your day?” Your second eldest sister, Yena, asked. Yena was staring at you as she picked up her bag from the chair next to her so you could join her at the dining table.

You gave Yena a smile. “It was okay. How was yours?”

“Great! The kids are calming down now that it’s been a month of school.” Yena smiled. She was a kindergarten teacher. Yerin was a lawyer. More meaningful compared to the plain office job you worked. You wished you liked your job as much as Yena did.

Your mother was fretting around as she placed down the dishes for dinner. You almost attempted to help her but stopped yourself, glancing down at your hands. Yena began talking about a “poop incident” at her school a week ago when Yerin finally looked up from her phone.

Yerin looked you right in the eye as she tilted her head. “You don’t visit often; what, found your real family?”

“Eonni!” Yena frowned, stopping her rambling to glare at Yerin.

You didn’t even attempt to say anything. This was to be expected with her. “Is he coming out for dinner tonight?”

“Why? You could talk to him yourself.” Yerin rolled her eyes. “I’m not sure why you don’t talk to him. He raised you, giving you shelter, food, water. The least you could do is act like a son to him. He’s getting stressed out at his job these days…”

You tuned her out. She wouldn’t understand. She had already left the home when your father turned on you. When your father didn’t hesitate to lock you in the closet until your voice was hoarse from screaming and Yena finally came home from her club.

Yerin was just like your mother. Pretending the way your father reacted was normal. Your mother was still oddly religious—fully believing that she had her sins forgiven by her lord and savior. She still dragged you to church every Sunday.

You were sure she was attempting to scout out a good Christian girl for you to marry now. So many of the older church ladies were stopping you after the sermon to introduce you to their daughters.

Your father didn’t come out for dinner.

Your mother kept saying he was just tired.

You weren’t a fucking idiot. That man still hated you for daring to be born and not dying in childbirth.

The food tasted bitter and cold. The cross on the wall of the dining room felt like a curse. Bible verses hanging right in your face. He was mocking you at this point. Why haven’t you been forgiven for your sins?

“How has work been? Have you gotten a promotion yet?” Your mother suddenly asked.

The kimchi in your mouth was so bitter that you almost throw up but you swallowed it down. “No. They wouldn’t give me a promotion so soon.”

Your mother’s eyes narrowed in on your face as her lips twitched. “You seem irritated. Have you been praying? Perhaps you should come to the nightly sermons I mentioned to you. Work must be stressing you out.”

You glanced over at Yena. “Do you go the sermons?”

Yena frowned, biting her lip. “Ah, no. I haven’t been going as often as I should.” She laughed nervously, rubbing at her arm. “But uhm, my husband isn’t exactly all that interested in religion.”

Yerin clinked her chopsticks against the bowl. “Why do you ask, (Name)? Trying to get out of your duty?”

Duty.

It was a fucking duty.

Yerin and Yena weren’t forced by your mom to go to church. But you were. You were dragged there by your arms even if you kicked and scream.

Your father had always told you that he’d never force a religion onto you. Though it was an empty lie, huh?

Deep down, you had a feeling it wasn’t just being an affair baby anymore. Your parents, even sisters, assumed something about you that made you anxious.

Why haven’t you been interested in girls like any other boy?

You were normal. You were fucking normal and you weren’t whatever your family was thinking. The sin of being born to an adulator was already on your record being a ‘homosexual’ of all things was practically a death sentence.

It was normal to not go crazy over any girl just because she was ‘pretty’ in the eyes of the church. You had standards.

“No,” you muttered, staring at the bowl of kimchi. Kimchi and rice. You’ve always eaten this. Always eaten it without a care in the world.

Your throat burned as you vomited on the dining table.

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

“Seonbae, is this right?”

You glanced over at Eunha, checking the paper she was going over. “The number here is wrong. You subtracted instead of adding.”

“Ah! Thanks, Seonbae.”

It was Friday evening, your shift almost over in an hour. Eunha was still in the belief that you were coming to the birthday party. You didn’t know if you could turn her down. You’ve recently started going to the night sermons your mother was talking about.

They were bothering you—affecting your sleep. You would always come home with this weird ache in your chest that you couldn’t get rid of.

The hour felt long before it was finally over. It was bustling as people immediately got ready to go home for the weekend. You glanced over at the clock, trying to think of a way to excuse yourself when a hand patted you on the back.

“You coming, Lee (Name)? We’re heading to the restaurant!” It was one of your older coworkers, Park Woohyun. The ‘heartthrob’ of the financial department of the company. You understood why. He was handsome.

A few people often asked if he was related to Lee Dong-Wook.

You frowned, “ah, uhm, I’m not sure…”

Woohyun hummed. “What do you mean? I doubt you have anything better to do.”

Your jaw tightened as you heard a few chuckles. Anything better to do. Yeah, he was right. At most you were going to attend the sermon again. But to be told that out loud with the sounds of laughter following was humiliating.

Why did it seem like everyone hated you?

Were they right?

Does your sinful past follow you everywhere that people subconsciously feel it?

“Okay.” You suddenly said, a tight smile on your lips. “I’ll come.”

Besides, you needed to drink.

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

“Is… this okay?”

His lips pressed against yours before pulling away. The cool air from the opened window eases into the bedroom. It caused your body to shiver as he let out a laugh.

“No. It’ll never be okay. Not if you want to stay a perfect church boy.”

“Then don’t kiss me again..! I can’t do anything else to make Him angry.”

“Don’t kiss you again?”

Hands gripped your shirt, pulling you close against his chest. Nose touching as his gaze bore into yours. His eyes looked blank as he leaned down, his lips teasing yours.

“Is that what you really want, Lee (Name)?”

You can’t remember if you ever responded to his question. The aftermath is all you can remember. He grabbed his backpack and went outside. You watched him get on his bike, the moonlight shining down on him.

There was something he said before biking away. It was hazy in your mind now but the essence was still there.

No matter how much you tried—you’ll never make your family happy.

Then he biked away. You turned to get back inside your house when a crash was heard. Running. You ran not even a few feet to see him on the ground, blood pooling beneath him. A drunk, clumsy driver stepped out of her car as she began babbling something.

All you remember is that the last thing you told Kim Junhan before his death at the ripe age of sixteen was that you would never be a ‘homosexual’ like he was.

“𝙃𝘼𝙋𝙋𝙔 𝘽𝙄𝙍𝙏𝙃𝘿𝘼𝙔!”

The sounds of clapping caused you to jump up, glancing over to see your coworkers had brought out the cake for Kang Taeyeon. You paid them no mind, staring down at your drink. Whenever you drank too much, he would always seep back into your mind.

You downed the drink in ease before asking for another one from the bartender. She raised an eyebrow at you but complied anyway.

The memories of Kim Junhan always felt so bitter.

The bartender placed the drink down. You were about to thank her when she held out a tissue for you. She must’ve noticed your confusion when she just pointed at your face and waited for you to take the tissue.

You took it and began to tap your face. When you glanced at the tissue it was wet. Fuck. You quickly wiped at your face, hoping that you didn’t look overly pathetic. Crying in a restaurant while your coworkers were singing happy birthday.

What a joke.

After the embarrassment began sinking in even more, you drank four more shots until the bartender refused to give you anymore. You were disgruntled with her but knew she was just doing her job. So you gave her the bill and left the restaurant.

None of your coworkers noticed.

You shivered as the cool air immediately attacked you once outside. You were only dressed in a thin white button up and black slacks. Your hands shook as you quickly made sure to put on your suit jacket. Though it did nothing to make you feel warm.

Perhaps you were too drunk but you suddenly felt like crying.

It had been over ten years now since Junhan died. You briefly wondered what day it was. It must’ve been his anniversary of his death. Maybe that’s why. That’s all it is.

You kneeled down and couldn’t stop the sobbing as you curled into yourself. A drunk man crying on the wall of a restaurant.

How pathetic.

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

Moon Eunjae hated restaurants like this. Cheap and tacky. But more importantly, the rowdy group of corporate slaves that drank until they dropped. Looked like it was on their birthday.

He turned his attention back over to his plate of food, pushing it towards his friend. “Ugh. Eat it for me.”

His friend, Yoonchae, rolled her eyes. “What? Is the food too ‘cheap’ for your liking?” She asked, grabbing his plate and immediately digging in.

“Hey, if you paid for us, we wouldn’t drag you to cheap places,” his friend beside him, Rowoon, laughed. “Not everyone can afford a meal over 100,000 won.”

Eunjae hummed. “It’s just shit. Just because you’re poor doesn’t mean your food has to be shit.”

Rowoon laughed louder while Yoonchae snapped her chopsticks in half. A loud yell from the crowd caused Rowoon to sigh.

“Is this the only time they have fun? They’re so fucking loud.” He whined, shaking his head.

“It’s her birthday, cut them some slack.” Yoonchae muttered as she grabbed a new pair of chopsticks.

Eunjae didn’t say anything. He knew he wouldn’t understand how those corporate slaves would feel being free on weekends. Though he never attempted to understand. He was only twenty-one compared to the group of adults who looked closer to their mid thirties.

He rubbed at his face before standing up. “I’m taking a smoke break.”

“Hope you catch cancer.” Yoonchae said as he walked out of the building.

Eunjae yawned as he made it outside, the cool air hardly bothering him as he dressed in a thick jacket made with fluffy fur. He pulled out his lighter and pack of cigarettes, placing one between his lips as he easily lit it.

He stood there for a moment before hearing soft hiccuping. His eyes glanced to the right and he immediately looked away. Someone crying against the wall of a cheap restaurant that sells noodles that are obviously thirty years old.

Pathetic.

Oh well, he wouldn’t bother them.

His smoke break was needed as he hummed to himself. The calming wind breezed past him when he heard the stranger let out a particularly loud whimper. He was set on ignoring them again when they pulled their head out of their hands.

You were… pathetic.

So fucking pathetic.

But cute.

Like a puppy.

Round doe eyes wet with tears that’s stained your cheeks. Your body heaving as you took deep breathes from your heavy crying. Lips almost in a pout.

Who knew a man could be so cute?

Eunjae was ready to just leave you alone still despite his weird interest in you when your gaze turned over to him. Your body shivered as the wind picked up again. Doe puppy eyes bore into his as you sniffled, curling into yourself tighter to keep your body warm.

He didn’t know what to say. His cigarette was slipping out of his mouth as it parted in his shock.

Your eyes flickered to his face. He quickly wondered if you found him attractive. If you were feeling this odd need to be near him like he felt for you.

“I’m…” You whispered, he noticed your odd movements. Almost sluggish. Were you drunk? He waited for you to finish your sentence.

“Cold.” You lamely finished.

Eunjae didn’t know what exactly you thought he could do about that. But he didn’t say anything. You didn’t look like you’d listen to anything he would say right now. Right now he should be a ‘good’ citizen and get you home.

“What’s your address? You’ll freeze to death out here in such thin clothes.” He said, pulling out his phone to call a taxi.

You frowned, slowly standing up. Your body pressed against the wall as your eyes felt heavy. It was almost as cute as it was pathetic to watch you stumble over to him. Eunjae made no attempt to help you.

He enjoyed seeing you stumble.

Your hand gripped at his arm as you glanced at his phone. Your body felt so heavy that it felt as if you’d collapse if you let go of Eunjae.

“Address?” Eunjae asked again.

“Too far.” You whispered, subconsciously snuggling close to him. His jacket was so warm, so nice. Why couldn’t he share it with you?

“Too far? Come on, tell me where you live.”

“Incheon.”

“Incheon? You don’t live in Seoul?”

“Too expensive,” you whined, glaring at him. “It’s only an hour away… but trains closed.”

Eunjae checked the time. You were right, it was past midnight. No taxi was going to drive a full hour so late as well without some hefty cash. And you didn’t look like the type of be carrying such cash.

The door to the restaurant opened as a man and woman walked out. Eunjae watched them, noticing they must’ve been your coworkers. They looked worried almost scared as they frantically glanced around the street.

He wondered if they needed something until they glanced over at him. The pure anger on their face would’ve terrified him if he cared.

“What are you doing to my Seonbae?” The woman asked, glaring at Eunjae. She reached over and grabbed your hand, pulling you over. You didn’t attempt to stop her, releasing your grip on Eunjae’s jacket.

The man, a similar height to Eunjae almost looked like he was only one step away from punching him. “Were you trying to take him somewhere?”

Eunjae rolled his eyes. So much for helping. “I was trying to take him home. What is he your boyfriend?” He laughed, tilting his head.

“Woohyun Seonbae, let’s just get back inside, (Name) Seonbae is shivering.” The woman said, holding you close.

Woohyun glanced over at you. He only shook his head at Eunjae. “We’ll take him home.”

Eunjae shrugged. He didn’t care about you that much. But oddly enough, he couldn’t help but feel a bit… angry? Maybe it was the fact someone older than him was treating him like a predator.

Respect your elders or something like that.

He tugged at his jacket, holding it in his hands. The cool air immediately attacked him. No wonder you were shivering like a dog. He walked over to you, ignoring the woman’s glare at him.

“Here. Since you liked it so much.” Eunjae draped the jacket over your shoulders, helping you slip your arms in to properly wear it. Your doe eyes stared up at him as he zipped it up, a smirk on his lips. “Just return it to me, Gangaji.”

“Wait,” you called out. Eunjae glanced over at you just before he entered the restaurant. “How can I..? I don’t know your name..”

Eunjae grinned. “It’s in the jacket.”

He walked right back inside, joining Rowoon and Yoonchae. Rowoon hummed as he smirked.

“Where’s your jacket?” Rowoon asked.

“Gave it to someone.”

“You? Giving away your belongings?” Yoonchae laughed. “Why? Was she cute?”

“Very. He was as cute as a puppy.”

Yoonchae and Rowoon shared knowing looks at each other. Despite Eunjae’s ‘nonchalant’ behavior, they knew he must’ve been infatuated with this stranger to give up his favorite jacket.

They made a silent prayer for the poor soul.

Anyone Eunjae liked would often wish they never met him.

❝ 차츰 어둠이 드리울 테니 ❞

You awoke with a groan, feeling a comfortable bed beneath you. Your arms stretched out as felt considerably warm. A grunt left you as you sat up and took a look at your surroundings.

It was a nicer apartment. Your gaze flickered to the window. This was certainly Seoul. Incheon did have the busy streets as well but Seoul was considerably filled with people and cars rushing by.

As you got out of the bed, you noticed you had a large fluffy jacket on. You almost didn’t want to take it off. It was so warm and comfortable. But you pulled it off to see where you even got this.

Oh shit.

Dolce & Gabbana.

Your eyes read the name tag multiple times to see if you were imagining it.

Dolce & Gabbana!!!

Where did you get this?

You gently placed the coat that must’ve cost your rent on the bed and sprinted out of the bedroom. Just even where were you? The apartment was certainly nice but it didn’t look to be anything expensive. Quite small.

“Oh, Lee (Name) you’re awake!” A voice called out to you.

You glanced over to the kitchen to see Park Woohyun wearing an apron. Kim Eunha was right beside him holding a plate of pancakes. The two were smiling at you weirdly. Well, it was normal for Eunha to smile at you like that but you can’t ever remember Woohyun looking happy to see you.

“Do you have a hangover? I have some tablets in my bathroom cabinet.” Woohyun said, nodding towards the direction you came from. You did have a headache but didn’t want to leech on him anymore than you have.

“Uhm,” you whispered, walking over to them. “Did I sleep on your bed?”

Woohyun hummed. “You got my bedroom. Kim Eunha went back to her place but she came back to check on you. You slept in for a minute.”

Eunha hummed, smiling widely at you. “It’s 3 pm!”

Your eyes widen. “3 pm?! Why didn’t you wake me up?” You frowned.

“Why would I? You seemed like you needed the rest.”

“It’s okay, (Name) Seonbae. You had a crazy night, you needed all the rest you could get.” Eunha walked over to you, pushing you to sit down at the dinner table as she placed the plate of pancakes in front of you.

You muttered a quick thank you. “What do you mean? Did I do anything weird?”

Woohyun shrugged. “Define weird. You mean during the taxi ride here you cried that none of your coworkers liked you.” He took off his apron and walked over to you, sitting down beside you.

“I didn’t know you had that impression of me, Lee (Name).” Woohyun said, his face suddenly serious. “Have I been treating you terribly? Why haven’t you told me?”

Eunha sat down across from you, a frown on her lips. “Seonbae, I don’t know what gave you the impression we hated you but we don’t! We’re sorry we didn’t notice when you left the bar… If we were quicker that kid wouldn’t have been bothering you!”

You began to nibble on the pancakes when Woohyun gave you calculated look that was practically telling to eat or else. “What kid?” You muttered.

“The kid that gave you the jacket.” She said.

Your brain was a bit hazy. You couldn’t remember any kid that you spoke to. What kid was he to wear such a large jacket that it practically swallowed you whole? All you could really remember was what the kid called you.

강아지

You don’t know why he would call you a puppy, especially if he was younger than you. You do vaguely remember he didn’t speak respectfully with you.

Kids these days. You shook your head.

“I need to return the jacket then. Did he give his name?”

Woohyun shrugged. “He said it was written on the jacket. Check the name tag.” He leaned in close to you, causing you to flinch. His eyes narrowed in on you before he pulled away. “I think you suffer from low self-esteem, Lee (Name).”

Eunha coughed, her eyes wide. “Woohyun Seonbae! That’s not appropriate to say to someone randomly.”

“But it’s true.” Woohyun said, shaking his head. He was around fifty—probably uncaring about how to properly be a human at this point in life. “Only someone with low self-esteem would blindly believe everyone hates him. I joke with you but you seem to always take it as me punching you down.

“A normal person would tell the other that they don’t like the joke. However, you seem to think everyone else hates you as well. Kang Taeyeon invited you to the party for a reason. She was quite sad you stayed in the corner. It was party, you were supposed to mingle with everyone else.”

Eunha frowned. “Seonbae… This is a lot to spring up on someone with a hangover. Besides, it’s normal to not speak up in a work place setting. You’re our supervisor.”

“It’s not like I’ll fire you because you called me out.”

“Yeah well not every boss is as normal as you.”

You could only stare at Woohyun in shock. The audacity. The fucking audacity to bluntly tell you that you were suffering with low self worth.

It hurt. It really hurt.

Not just because he was your boss saying it.

But because he was right. Your therapist had said the exact same thing.

Were you that miserable that everyone could notice?

It was so fucking embarrassing. Why were you so embarrassing?

You didn’t even notice you were crying until your vision got blurry. Eunha began fussing obviously worried that Woohyun had hurt your feelings. And he did, he definitely did. You didn’t need this so early in the day, even if it was the afternoon.

A slight hiccup left you before you felt a hand pat you on the head. Your eyes glanced over to Woohyun. He looked a bit apologetic as he rubbed your head like you were ten years old.

“Sorry, Lee (Name). I hurt you again didn’t I?”

An apology? He really apologized.

Your lips quivered before you began to bawl. Woohyun and Eunha were shocked and quickly grabbed tissues as you wailed as if you were a baby.

Your dad was only ten years older than Woohyun.

Your dad never apologized like Park Woohyun.

To see someone close to your dad age, someone who could even be your father… To hear those words.

You needed to get back into therapy. You were a fucking mess.

Woohyun let you get cleaned up in his bathroom, telling you to just pull some clothes from his dresser. Eunha had given you a hug before you left. It was embarrassing to cry in front of a man who could be your father and a woman who was only two years younger than you. But it also felt liberating to see them care so much about you.

Did your coworkers… really not hate you like you assumed?

How many situations have you been in that you wrongly assumed the other hated you?

Maybe you… maybe you should make the effort to talk to people.

You shook your head. One step at a time. Your eyes flickered over to the jacket on the bed. You walked over and checked the tag again. Was there any other tag in it? It took a moment of you checking any space on the jacket before you came across a second tag that had the laundry instructions.

문은재

Moon Eunjae? A pretty name. You checked to see if there was any number. There was not. You checked the pockets until you pulled out a receipt. It looked to be from a delivery. The address and phone number was on it.

This must be his phone number. Hopefully.

You grabbed your phone, noticing a few texts from your mother. The familiar feeling of agony began to grow in your chest. You almost wanted to throw up the pancakes you ate.

Was it normal to hate being near your mother?

To even see a message from her and your world felt like it was crashing down.

She had sent multiple messages asking you where you were. Ah, there was another sermon yesterday. Looks like she was practically begging you to join the one for tonight. Why do churches even hold so many sermons everyday? Do people really enjoy that?

You checked the time. It was close to 5 pm now. No way would you make it in time for the 6 pm sermon. You didn’t respond and just decided to attend the usually Sunday Service at noon.

Your body instantly calmed when you decided that but you didn’t want to think any further on why church was so intense for you. You typed out the number on your phone and called it, hoping you could return the jacket tonight while still in the area.

It rang for a moment before it was answered.

“Who’s this?”

“Uhm, hello. Is this Mister Moon Eunjae..? You gave me your jacket last night.”

“Oh, Gangaji. You were able to remember me? Aren’t you a good boy?”

Your face flushed. What the fuck? You weren’t about to let someone younger than you talk down to you. “It’s Lee (Name). Anyway, I want to return your jacket while I’m still in Seoul. Where do you live?”

“Hm, you’re no fun.” He chuckled. “You got my number from the receipt, right? Go to the address.”

“What, but what time—?”

He hung up. That little…

You sighed. The address was in the direction of Incheon actually. So it wouldn’t be out of your way. You dressed in Woohyun’s clothes and put your dirty clothes in a plastic bag Eunha gave you.

It was awkward going back to the living room. Eunha had went back home before it got too dark. You were glad to not have to talk to her until Monday. But it was awkward seeing Woohyun.

Woohyun got up from the couch to let you out. You were set to rush out when he grasped your shoulder, turning you to face him. His face was blank before a slight smile pulled on his lips as he gave you comforting pat on the head.

“Get home safe. See you Monday.”

You definitely did not leave the apartment feeling happy, no you did not.

The address led you to a hotel. You at first thought maybe it was just a fancy apartment complex but the receptionist called it a hotel when you asked. It felt awkward just standing there in clothes a bit too big on your body.

Everyone that walked past was dressed to the nines. Expensive coats. Shining jewelry. It almost felt like a joke that you were even able to stand in the same area as them.

“Gangaji?”

You turned over to see someone walking over to you. You mentally cursed at yourself for responding to the nickname. The person who you assumed was Moon Eunjae grinned, wearing clothing vastly different from everyone else.

A baggy sweatshirt with faded jeans. He didn’t look like someone who could own such an expensive jacket but maybe he was just dressing down. You held the jacket out when he got close, a slight smile on your lips.

“Here… Thank you for offering it to me. I didn’t mean to act so childish last night.” You said, bowing your head slightly. Being his elder, you felt a bit embarrassed he took care of you.

Eunjae looked to be a few inches taller than you. Shaggy black hair. He had sharp dark brown eyes that stared straight at you. His lips pulled into a smug smile as he tilted his head. It took a moment before he grabbed his jacket from your hand.

“Thanks.” He said, his voice smooth and silky. You almost wanted to run out there but couldn’t help but stare right back at him.

He was handsome but you don’t remember ever being phased by a man being handsome. Mainly… only Kim Junhan had ever made you feel this strange way.

Eunjae suddenly hummed. “Do you want to have dinner before you go?”

Your lips parted, ready to refuse. “Yes.”

What?

You followed Eunjae out of the hotel. He didn’t say anything the entire walk. It was only for a few minutes before you reached a small little restaurant outdoors. There was a large tent covering it. A few people were sitting around eating what looked be Korean BBQ.

Eunjae motioned for you to sit while he talked to the owner. The owner almost looked excited to see Eunjae as she immediately pointed for him to sit down as she grabbed a plate of raw meat.

The two came over to where you sat. Eunjae sat down just as the owner turned on the heat of the grill. She handed Eunjae the meat and gave you a smile before rushing off to help some customers.

You reached out to grab the tongs when he did it for you. Your eyes just simply watched as he began to cook the meat. It was usually the eldest that cooked the meat—so to have him do it felt weird.

After a couple were finished he placed it on your plate, motioning for you to eat.

You silently thanked him and began to eat, having not had Korean BBQ in a hot minute. It was better than you remembered. You couldn’t help but flex your hand, shaking it in excitement as you continued to eat. Eunjae knew how to cook the meat just right!

A snort caught your attention as you looked up.

“You act like a kid.” Eunjae said, placing a few more pieces of meat on your plate. “It’s cute. You really are a Gangaji.”

You blushed. “It’s not right to call me that. I’m older than you.”

“Ah,” Eunjae rolled his eyes. “Should I call you hyung then?”

“Well, no, we’re not close.”

“But what if I want us to be?”

You almost choked as your eyes widen. Eunjae smirked. What the hell was wrong with this kid?

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-one. I can legally drink.” He said, motioning to the beer he had ordered.

“Well I’m twenty-five; twenty-six in a few weeks. You shouldn’t speak so informally with me.”

“Why should I speak formally with my Gangaji?”

“You little!”

Eunjae ignored your outburst and placed the rest of the meat on your plate. He turned off the grill and began finally eat his meat that he cooked. You knew the meat had to have been cold by now. You were about to give him some of your meat as it was recently cooked but he suddenly looked up at you.

“I usually stay to people my own age.” Eunjae confessed. “But you’re too cute to pass up.”

“I’m a person.”

“And my Gangaji.”

“Stop calling me that!” You whined, trying your best to glare at him.

Eunjae’s eyes bore into yours. You suddenly felt watched as he just stared at you for a moment.

“Are you happy, Lee (Name)?”

Your eyes widen. It was odd to hear him properly speak to you. To use your name. But to even ask such a question. What the hell.

“Why… Why do you…?”

“It’s just a question.” Eunjae said nonchalantly. “I’m not happy, at least not fully. I think I’m not living life the way I want to.”

“I…”

“Are you living the life you want? Are there any people you should cut out of your life?”

A shuddered gasp left your lips, your eyes wide as you tried to speak. Why did it feel like everyone was suddenly your therapist?!

“I’m.. I’m happy.. I…”

“Are you religious?”

“How..?”

Eunjae grinned. “I don’t think you’d wear a cross necklace if you weren’t.”

You glanced down to notice your necklace wasn’t tucked in your shirt like it usually was. Your hand quickly tucked it away. Looking back up at Eunjae, his face was unreadable as he watched your action.

“It’s… I uhm. I do attend sermons. Are you religious?” You asked.

“No.” Eunjae took a sip of his beer. “Someone like me would burn if I step foot in a church.” His smile didn’t reach his eyes.

It was silent for a moment as he went back to eating his meat. Once he was finished, Eunjae glanced over at you.

“We should be friends. My mom wants me to be friends with more sensible people.” Eunjae chuckled, grinning at you. “Will you be my friend, Lee (Name)?”

You bit your lip. “Ah, but we might not have anything in common…”

“We’ll find something.” Was all he said before getting up, motioning that he was going to pay the bill. You almost shot up at the idea but he didn’t take no for an answer.

After paying, Eunjae walked with you to the train station. Usually silence made you feel awkward or anxious. But with Eunjae, the silence felt peaceful. Your mind didn’t overthink with him.

It wasn’t like he was doing anything. You just felt weirdly comfortable with him. There was an odd disappointment when you finally reached the station. You wondered if you should thank him or something when a hand slithered itself to the curve of your waist.

Your eyes widen as lips pressed against yours. Eunjae was kissing you. Kissing you out in the open. Your hand pressed against his chest but you hesitated for a moment to push him away.

No.

A man’s lips aren’t supposed to feel so good.

You were normal. You couldn’t be…

When Eunjae pulled away, you subconsciously moved forward. Your eyes watched his face as a slight smirk pulled on his lips. He released his grip on you before reaching up and tugging off his jacket.

You watched, sober this time, as he placed the jacket on your shoulders. He carefully helped you put it on, zipping it up. His hands rest on your shoulders before gripping your face, squishing it softly before pulling away.

“Text me when you get home, Lee (Name).” Eunjae said. You tried to ignore the weird way you wished he called you Gangaji again. That was weird, no man calls another man a puppy!

You mutely nodded, feeling cozy in the jacket. “How will you get your jacket back..?” You whispered.

Eunjae grinned. “You’ll call me.” He said. “And when I answer your call, you’ll come running to me.”

“Won’t you run to me..?”

“No,” he laughed. “You better go, the trains about to leave.”

“What about your number?”

“It’s the same one you called. Just save it.”

You nodded but your feet was glued to the ground. There wasn’t anything else you wanted to ask but you couldn’t find it in yourself to leave him. This odd feeling you have. Infatuation probably.

You’ve never felt this way about a woman.

For a man younger than you was insane. You almost wanted to cry. Couldn’t you do anything right?

A hand caressed your cheek, causing you to glance up. His thumb pressed against the bottom of your lip. It gently pried your lips apart before he leaned down, his lips teasing the tip of your ear.

“Don’t look at me like that—I’ll end up leashing you so you’re never away from me.”

You gulped as he pulled away. He didn’t say anything else besides gently nudge you to leave. You listened and quickly walked to train just as the doors open. Just as you stepped inside, you glanced back at him.

Eunjae waved. His lips parting to mouth something.

A blush spread on your cheeks at his words.

Good boy.

Something was awakening within you and it wasn’t going to be good.

❝ 달빛 아래 숨죽인 나 ❞

Sunday Service.

Sunday Service was something you had come to hate. But you never skipped them despite your body always feeling physically sick on Sundays. You had begun waking up early and vomiting the bile in your throat.

When you told your mother she said it was God pushing the sin out.

Whatever that meant.

You sat in the usual back row, right next to your mom. You always sat at the end so you could bolt right out as soon as it’s finished. The pastor was preaching something. The quotes weren’t registering to you.

A tap on your shoulder caused you to sit up straight. You didn’t look at your mother knowing she would be looking at you with anger. The pastors words finally began to settle in.

Genesis 19:26.

Your body froze when the pastor began reciting the verses. Something felt wrong. Very wrong.

You glanced over at your mother and saw she was smiling at you. It was a genuine smile—as if she was happy about what was happening. She couldn’t have…

Memories of after Kim Junhan’s death filled your mind. You had mostly blocked it out at this point but it was all coming back. After the funeral, your mother had pulled you aside to talk to you.

She quoted Genesis 19:26 to you. Reciting it word for word. Then told you that your ‘worldly’ beliefs would lead you to follow in Junhan’s fate. You remember asking her if she thought Junhan possibly loving the same sex meant he had to die.

You remember her face.

Her blank face before saying yes right. Junhan’s parents were only a few feet away from you. You wondered what would’ve happened if you had told them what she said. That their poor son was killed because God believed homosexuality was a crime.

That God created the accident. That the drunk driver probably wouldn’t have killed them if Junhan only kissed girls.

In a way, you began to believe it was your fault he died. Maybe if you pushed harder, let him know he couldn’t live his life his way.

Your breathing was hard. Your hands gripped at your pants as you watched everyone else just say “amen” over and over again. You glanced up at where the pastor was. Your mother was friends with the pastor.

Did she really request him to recite that specific scripture? Would she do that to you?

Did she suspect you were falling back into homosexual thoughts?

You wanted to vomit.

A strangled gasp left your lips as you shot up. Everything stopped, everyone staring at you. You knew you probably looked like a freak. People probably thought you were scared about a homosexual.

You had to leave. You couldn’t be here anymore.

Your hand gripped at the bench as you made the attempt to leave.

“Where are you going? You’re being disrespectful!” Your mother yelled, grabbing your hand.

“Let go of me!” You involuntarily screamed, ripping your hand from her grasp. A needle could be dropped at your outburst. You, Lee (Name) screamed?

Just as you were about to apologize, a hand gently rest it on your back. You glanced back to see someone you least expected.

Standing behind you was Kim Junhan’s parents, Geon and Dohee. Geon gave you a comforting smile as he gently patted your back. You looked down in embarrassment.

“We’ll help him get some fresh air. Please continue on.” Dohee said, smiling. She turned to your mother and gave her a nod before motioning for her husband to help you walk out. Geon practically dragged you out, your legs feeling like jelly.

You don’t remember ever seeing Geon and Dohee at the church ever since Junhan’s funeral.

The fresh air brought a much needed relief as it kissed your face. Geon held you to his chest as you attempted to stand straight. Dohee came over with a water bottle, dapping at your skin with a handkerchief.

“Poor, baby… You’re sweating.” She muttered.

“Are you alright, (Name)-Ah?” Geon asked, helping you to sit down on the outdoor bench. You practically collapsed and went limp, chugging at the water bottle.

“It looked like he was having a panic attack. (Name)-Ah, do you have any medication for it?” Dohee said. You forgot she was a therapist.

You coughed slightly. “Why are you guys here?”

Dohee smiled somberly. “Well, Friday was Junhan’s death anniversary so we came to visit his grave. We were going to go back to Seoul yesterday but I wanted to visit the church to see some old friends.”

“I’m sorry,” you suddenly whispered. “I haven’t been visiting his grave often.”

Geon patted your head. “It’s alright. We know you love him. How have you been? Is everything treating you alright?”

You frowned. How much should you tell them? Back then, they certainly knew your father hated you. It wasn’t exactly a secret. There were so many times you ran to Junhan’s house to stay the night or even weekend to get away from home.

“I just… I just always feel anxious and terrible when I hear Genesis.” You admitted.

“Genesis? Why? It’s simply about disobedience.” Geon handed you Dohee’s handkerchief that you greatly accepted.

You shook your head. “It’s not over the story’s meaning itself… It’s more so on the memory surrounding it.”

Dohee and Geon didn’t make attempt to press you on it, thankfully. Geon went back inside to grab some more water as Dohee sat down beside you.

“Have you been treating yourself well?” She asked.

“Yes… I have.”

“Mhm.” She glanced over at you. “You can always contact us or even visit us, (Name)-Ah. Just because Junhan is gone doesn’t mean we have to leave your life as well. I felt like you were my own son back then. And even now, you’re my son. I worry for you. I want you to be happy, doing whatever you so wish.”

You frowned, biting your lip. “Anything? What if what I want to do is against God?”

“You want to murder someone?”

“What?! No!”

“Then what could it be? Do you truly believe in God? I remember how you speak about God—it’s always in fear. You never seem happy in church.”

You stared at her. “I guess… I guess I didn’t willingly want to go to church. Coming to church makes me anxious. I don’t like it here.”

“Then why come?” Dohee patted your leg. “You’re not a child anymore. You’re twenty-five. I assume you have your own apartment?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you letting your moth—your fear control you?” She gave you grin. “Before you started going to church, you were so bratty. No one could tell you to do anything without getting into a screaming match. You had to be presented a PowerPoint to do anything. I know it’s been too long for you to truly be that person again.

“But I believe you can see your worth. It’ll take time but you need to stop letting God or anyone else tell you what to do.” She sighed, pulling away just as Geon came outside with a water bottle. He handed it over to you.

You stayed outside with Geon and Dohee for a while longer. They told you to visit them whenever you came back to Seoul and left. It almost felt amazing to be with older people who were normal. You thought back to Dohee’s words as people began to leave church, signaling the service was done.

Your mother and her usual group of friends came over with their children. You usually attempted to force a smile but you didn’t this time, too tired to really do anything. So you didn’t even try to stand up when they were right in front of you.

“Lee (Name), are you alright? That was so scary? What happened?” A woman asked.

“Stomach bug.”

“Stomach bug? But why did you scream?” A man asked, one of the older woman’s son. His wife was right beside him, holding their daughter. You knew that’s what your mother was praying day and night for you to have.

“I was going to throw up if she held me back.”

Your mother looked angry but you didn’t say anything to her. The group began talking a bit amongst themselves when one of your mother’s bestest friend came over with her daughter who was close in age with you.

The mother was Sieun. Her daughter being named Gayoung if you could remember.

“(Name), you gave us quite a fright! Gayoung was so worried she was about to rush out to see if you were alright.” Sieun said, subtly nudging her daughter.

Gayoung smiled shyly, pushing at her hair. “Are you okay now, Lee (Name)..?” She whispered.

You knew Gayoung was any Christian man’s dream girl. A pretty girl who was quiet and modest. It wasn’t her fault that her mother was so desperate to marry her off to any man.

“I need to go, the virus is coming back.” You said, standing up. The three women stared at you in shock as you walked away.

It felt absolutely awful to leave them like that but you didn’t think you could handle staying there for a second longer. You just wanted to get home and collapse on your bed before work tomorrow.

You wanted to die.

It took longer for you to get home because of the need to stop multiple times. But you finally reached it. You got inside and kicked your shoes off, sluggishly dragging your body to your bedroom.

You plopped down with a huff, reaching into your pants to pull out your phone. It was around 4 pm.

You attempted to just sleep then when your eyes landed on a jacket resting on your door. It was fluffy and the most expensive thing in your house. Eunjae’s jacket. You slowly got up and grabbed it, hugging it to your chest.

The scent was nice. It must’ve been recently washed before Eunjae gave it to you. You dropped the jacket on the bed and began taking off your clothes. The clothes landed half hazardously around the room. Your finger tugged at your boxers before you slipped it off as well.

A grin pulled on your lips as you crawled into the bed, right over the jacket. You sprawled it out and leaned down, sniffing it. It was soft against your face. A weird feeling was taking you over as sat up.

In your twenty-five years of life you never masturbated.

Never.

Sexual pleasure was wrong.

Or the pleasure you wanted.

When you had moved out, you thought you would finally be comfortable enough to masturbate. But when you looked up porn, you noticed yourself paying more attention to the guy than the girl.

You had never touched porn again after that.

The most you had ever done was with Junhan.

But even then, you two didn’t go far because you were too scared. You had seen his cock and almost attempted to lick it. You wondered how far your relationship could’ve gone if you weren’t so scared about being punished.

Who could even punish you?

Dohee was right—you were an adult. You couldn’t live your entire life hoping to make your parents happy. To get the love from a man who doesn’t even say your name.

You stared down at the jacket. It can’t be too hard to wash a jacket, right?

Besides, it’s really soft. Is this real fur?

You slowly pressed your lower half against the jacket, your cock twitching already from the sensation. A whimper left your throat as you began to grind against the jacket. You started off slow before that wasn’t enough.

You rutted against the jacket, arching your back to get a better angle. It was so soft but that meant there wasn’t a lot of feeling in rutting. Your hand reached down as you hesitantly grasped your cock, shivering at the feeling.

The sensation was a bit much but you began jerking off. Your hips still moved as your toes curled, your orgasm already coming. To think you were missing out on this.

A stuttered whimper left you as you came, coating the soft fur beneath you. You sighed, pulling your hand away. Well, you could again…

You began to rub down against the jacket again, closing your eyes as you tried to reach a second orgasm. Maybe it was because it was his jacket you were using but you suddenly wondered what Eunjae would think if he saw you like this.

Would he be angry? Punish you for running his clothes with your cum?

Would he degrade you? The thought made you whimper—you liked his praise but you wanted to know how badly he could degrade you.

That couldn’t be normal but you were too close to think about the implications of that.

The high reached you quickly once again as your hips stuttered to a stop and you came. Your breathing was heavy as you pulled away, staring at the brown fur that was covered in white.

A weird sense of pride filled in your chest.

Now whenever he wore it, you’d be ingrained in it.

Wow, what the hell were you thinking?

You shook your head. Weird. That thought was weird. You need to take a shower.

And maybe masturbate some more.

Yeah, you have all night.

❝ 달콤한 어둠 아래 마녀들의 밤이 와 ❞

“You okay?” Eunha asked, sitting down beside you.

No, you weren’t okay. It had been over two weeks and you’ve been rutting against Eunjae’s jacket every night like a damn dog. You always managed to cum two times a row, last night reaching three!

You were insatiable. It must be your body wanting to catch up on all the years you’ve missed but it was fucking crazy that it was mostly dealing with Eunjae’s jacket!!

No way in hell you could return his jacket now. You washed it and now it was lighter than normal! How were you supposed to know you can’t bleach fur!

Eunjae would be furious!!! He’d make you pay him right away!

6,408,249 won!

That’s more than your fucking rent. That’s triple your rent!

You were so fucking screwed.

As you wallowed in self pity, you felt a pat on your back. Woohyun sat down beside you as he began eating his lunch. Eunha was still trying to ask you questions but you didn’t exactly want to tell her that you came all over a jacket and it was now ruined.

“Have you gotten back into therapy?” Woohyun suddenly asked. “I know the younger generation is much more mature about going to it. Is it too expensive now?”

“Seonbae!” Eunha glared.

You shook your head. “I won’t be able to afford therapy at this point.” You whined.

“Why?” Woohyun asked.

“Got stuck with a payment.”

“How much is it? I’ll help you.”

“Oh! Me too, Seonbae!”

“6,408,249 won.”

Woohyun and Eunha stared at you as if you were fucking insane. They both coughed before looking down at their food.

“Uhm sorry.”

“Sorry you’re going through that, Seonbae.”

“Thanks for the other anyway.” You muttered, finally eating your salad that you’ve been poking for over fifteen minutes.

That was the reason you haven’t called Eunjae despite wanting to. You practically hovered over his contact information each night before forcing yourself to bed. Why hasn’t he texted you? Why do you have to be the one to text him?

Was he finally taking to heart that you were the elder in the relationship?

Man, you didn’t care about that anymore.

Well, sort of. You still wish he had some respect for you.

The rest of the day was uneventful as you took the train back to Incheon. You actually made it home before the train got filled to the brim with people. Once you made it to your apartment you almost thought about masturbating again.

But no, you couldn’t keep running away from your future payment.

You were an adult. That meant having to face the consequences of your actions.

You changed into an oversize t-shirt and gym shorts. Your phone was staring at you as you hesitantly grasped it. You scrolled your limited contacts before landing on Eunjae’s. Your finger hovered over his contact before you slowly pressed it, anxiety taking over.

It rang for a few moments. You almost wondered if he wasn’t going to answer until it finally picked up.

“Gangaji…. What took you so long?”

A giggle almost escaped your lips but you managed to stop it by biting your tongue. “It’s Lee (Name).” You said, gotta have some form of self respect. “I wanted to know when I can return your jacket.”

“You can return it now.”

“Huh? But I’m back home in Incheon.”

“I’m in Incheon right now.”

“Huh?”

“I was visiting a friend who lives here. Tell me your address.”

You got ready to refuse, it wasn’t smart to tell a stranger your address. But when your lips parted you ended up telling him your address.

Fucking idiot.

“See you, Gangaji.”

It didn’t take too long for him to knock on your door. You had practically jumped up and ran to open it.

There he was; dressed in a simple t-shirt with baggy jeans. He didn’t even wait for you to invite him in. You almost yelled at him for that until he looked back at you and grinned. Wow, his smile must regularly make girls faint.

“Where’s my jacket?” He asked, causing your body to freeze up.

“Ah uhm. Slight problem, when I attempted to wash it I used bleach and now it’s really ashy in color.” You explained, waiting for him to yell at you and ask for payment.

But he didn’t, he looked amused. Eunjae hummed. “Okay. Lemme see.”

You nodded and went to your room. You grabbed the coat, ready to turn back when you see him entering your room. A gasp left you as you almost jumped out of your skin. Eunjae only grinned before glancing down at his jacket.

“Ah, you really did ruin it.”

You frowned. “Yeah… I know it’s over 6,00,000 won… I can’t pay that right now but I can do it in fragments or something.”

Eunjae only tilted his head. “Why did you wash it anyway?”

“Ah! I got it dirty!”

“How?”

“Ah….”

A sly smirk appeared on his lips as he stepped towards you. You flinched, taking a step back. It continued until your legs bumped against the edge of your bed and you fell down. Eunjae took advantage of that and trapped you down on the bed, his hands resting on either side of your head.

“Tell me. I deserve to know. It was my favorite jacket.”

You gulped. His favorite? Oh for fucks sake.

This was going to be so embarrassing. You clutched the coat to your chest as you closed your eyes, not wanting to look Eunjae in the eye.

“I.. got cum on it.” You whispered.

“What was that?”

“I cummed on it!” You cried out, waiting for the anger.

It was silent for a moment. You opened one eye before glancing up at Eunjae. The sight was shocking to say the least.

He didn’t look angry… he looked almost pleased..?

“Did you, Gangaji? Don’t you know that makes you naughty?” He asked, his right hand moving to grab the jacket. “But you were telling me that I have to speak to you with respect… yet here you are, cumming on my clothes like a pathetic dog.”

You whimpered as he pulled the jacket out of your grasp. He tossed it across the room before leaning down, his nose brushing against yours.

“Did you think of me? Or were you just using it because it was so soft?”

Your cheeks flushed. “A.. a few times..”

“A few times…” Eunjae’s hand trailed down your chest, grasping the edge of your shirt. He roughly pulled it up and forced it into your mouth. A strangled gasp left your lips just as you were about to spit it out when he glared at you. “Keep that between your teeth. You don’t want to act out anymore, do you?”

Eunjae smiled when you bit down on the shirt. His hands gripped your gym shorts, pulling them down without any hesitation. You could only watch as he rubbed his palm against your clothed cock. Your boxers were already tight against your skin but felt even tighter as your cock began to harden.

“Cute. I had so many ideas on how you’ll be but you’re already better than any imagination.” He said.

His palm slowly rubbed your cock. He made no effort to take your boxers off even as you began to whimper. Your hips stuttered from the feeling, wanting to just quickly jerk off. This teasing isn’t something you were used to.

No matter the fact it was another man. Despite yourself, you were thinking about how much of a sin this was. How you were disappointing everyone in your family. You were disgusting in the eyes of God.

Tears prickled your eyes as you tried to push the thoughts away.

“(Name).” Eunjae suddenly said. Your eyes opened as you stared up at him. His face was devoid of any emotion as he released his grip on your cock. You could only watch as he reached beneath your shirt. A shriek left your lips when you felt something snap against your skin.

His hand pulled out and in his palm was your cross necklace. You could only watch in awe.

“My poor Gangaji.” Eunjae muttered. You didn’t know if he was actually worried about you or being patronizing. “You’re already broken. That’s no fun.”

He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against your lips. “I’ll have to build you back up.” He whispered against your lips. A moan left your lips as his free hand slipped into your boxers, grasping your cock with ease.

He quickly jerked you off, your back arching as the orgasm was immediately building. You were withering and moaning beneath him, grasping at the bedsheets beneath you. The shirt had already left your lips as you couldn’t hold back your whimpers.

Your toes curled as he pressed kisses along your neck. It was different with someone else. You thought you were about to die from the pleasure.

“Cum, Gangaji. Cum for me.”

A loud cry filled the room as you cummed, coating the inside of your boxers. Eunjae pulled his hand out as he pressed it against your lips. You whimpered as he pried your lips open, slipping his fingers into your mouth.

It took a moment before you began sucking on them, cleaning the cum off his fingers. Your cock twitched again. You wanted to cum again.

Eunjae chuckled. “Wow, you’re insatiable, huh?” He asked, grasping your bulge again. You whimpered, staring up at him with wide eyes.

He only smirked before rubbing your cock against your boxers. You immediately went into a panting frenzy as he rubbed a quick orgasm out of you. Eunjae hummed, seemingly shocked you came so quick.

“Cute.”

You laid on the bed in a daze, wanting to just sleep. But Eunjae had other ideas as he began to undress you. “Can’t sleep here, you need to bathe.”

A whine left your lips but you didn’t stop him. You felt his arms beneath your body before he hoisted you up.

“Stay awake for me, Gangaji.” He said, pressing a kiss on your forehead. “Tell me the code to your front door.”

“Hngh… 1004.”

“Angel?” Eunjae laughed. “Cute. You really are cute, Lee (Name). I don’t want to leave you alone for a second.”

You hummed. “Then don’t…”

You must’ve fallen asleep because you woke up hours later alone in your bed. You almost felt disappointed but fought the feeling away. It was okay… At least he wasn’t going to charge you for ruining his jacket.

But you still felt so empty.

Your hand reached up to touch your chest. The cross was gone.

And you couldn’t help but feel a little relieved.

❝ 데려가 줘 ���원히 마녀들의 밤이 와 ❞

It had been a week since you last seen Eunjae. You almost felt like you imagined him. But his jacket was still at your house, he never ended up taking it.

You would still rut against it to masturbate. It was still so good. But it never felt the same as when Eunjae jerk you off. You had stopped going to church and seeing your parents.

Though there were nights you cried and prayed to push the thoughts away. In your heart, you knew you were gay. You hadn’t answered your mother’s calls. Even ignoring Yerin and Yena.

You knew that would implode on you one day but at least not today.

You came home from work, ready to collapse on your bed once more.

But you noticed there were moving boxes right outside your door. You gasped, wondering if your landlord was kicking you out or worse! Until you punched in the code. It hadn’t been changed. You slowly pushed it open to see nothing had changed.

Then…

You heard a laugh coming from your spare bedroom. There was nothing in there because you could never afford to buy anything so it was your spare closet. You hesitantly walked over to the door, slowly pushing it open as well.

The room was fully furnished. A small little sofa against the wall. A whole desk with a PC and everything. A few more boxes in the room that possibly haven’t been opened yet.

In the center there was someone in the chair.

Your eyes widen as the person took off their headphones before swirling the chair around.

Moon Eunjae stared at you with a smirk.

“Welcome home, Yeobo. Sorry I took so long, I had to break the lease of my apartment back in Seoul.”

What the fuck?!

Finally!! I got Eunjae’s first chapter! I originally didn’t plan for pet play to be his main kink but realized it suited him a lot. 1004 sounds similar to the Korean word for angel (천사) that’s what Eunjae says “angel.” He isn’t as manipulative in this cuz I gotta set things up but he’s gonna turn insane in later chapters. Also, it’s pronounced Gang-Ah-Ji in case you’re confused.

Also I know Genesis 19:26 isn’t about homosexuality, but my grandma used that against me when I told her that I might be trans to persuade me to stay Cis so that’s why I used it here.

Tag list: @joonggphilia @the-ultimate-librarian @smellwell @tehyunnie @ofclyde @iwishtobeacrow @chill-guy-but-cooler @star-3214 @tomoeroi @cherry-blossoms-187 @rhetorical-conscience @mooncarvers-world @euthymiko @kiiyoooo @love-kha1 @remdayz @mello-life25

Translations:

두통 (the title) — headache

다가와. 다가와, 자기야. (Come close. Come close, baby)

내가 너를 유혹하니? (Am I tempting you?)

너무 순종적이잖아. 맛보고 싶지 않아? (You’re so obedient. Don’t you want to taste it?)

그만해? 왜? 나는 진실만 말해. (Stop it? Why? I only tell the truth)

❝ 차츰 어둠이 드리울 테니 ❞ (the darkness is being casted slowly)

❝ 달빛 아래 숨죽인 나 ❞ (i hold my breath under the moonlight)

❝ 달콤한 어둠 아래 마녀들의 밤이 와 ❞ (in this sweet darkness, the witching hour descends)

❝ 데려가 줘 영원히 마녀들의 밤이 와 ❞ (take me, the endless witching hour decends)

Songs used: Reveal by The Boyz and Apple by Gfriend

[winwintea]

dreamies meeting their kid for the first time + as a parent

GROUP ↬ ot7 dream x reader (ft. their child)

TAGS/WARNINGS ↬ some angst, LOTS OF FLUFF MY TOOTH IS LITERALLY ROTTING, spider-mark agenda is real, the child is sometimes a cockblock, haechan does some weird michael jackson-sherlock holmes roleplay idk it made sense in my head, jaemin going on shopping sprees, chenle never loses, ji... is ji.... (poor baby)

AUTHOR’S NOTE ↬ everyone say thank you to @https-lvesick for getting me on that baby fever stuff... like i hate children but i love children. iykwim... anyways this is meeting their kid for the first time, but i can't come up with reasons why they were separated so you fill in the blanks. probably angsty reasons i love angst.

Mark Lee

when you come back through that door with a child holding your hand, it’s him you meet first again, and the tears are already glossing his eyes over before you can say anything.

literally has no words when you smile at him gently, saying it’s his.

mark swallows nervously, before making his way to the both of you, holding the two of you in his arms for only god knows how long.

“i.. can’t wait to live my life with you both, my love,” he mumbles into your hair, ears slightly tinged, only causing you to laugh at his adorable antics.

as a father, he isn’t very strict, and he isn’t all that good in child-rearing, either.

but he tries! give him some slack — you have to keep reminding yourself of this when you see your child holding a sword?! 

and of course mark was in his halloween costume. typical.

“baby.. i can explain,” mark says calmly when you first find the two of them

well actually, three; it seems haechan was in on this little practice, though he quickly bolted when he saw you. good strategy.

“엄마, papa said he was iron man! he teached me how to be a superhero!” your child exclaims, flailing the sword around excitedly as your gaze only darkens.

“well, you see, i meant spider-man, but—” his words die down when he sees your unimpressed face practically dripping with murderous intent.

mark slowly kneels down to whisper something you couldn't make out to your child. the little one nods seriously, slowly putting down the weapon.

then, as seconds pass, mark immediately hoists your child up in his arms, running out of the room as both his laughter and your child’s squeals echo throughout the halls.

“mark min-hyung lee, you are so dead!” you scream, running after them.

“3, 2, 1 — I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY!” the two of them scream back, before bursting into laughter. they’re always in sync. It’s exasperating.

but you love it anyways

Huang Renjun

when you meet him at the door, there's a flurry of emotions clear on renjun's face, but his smile says it all.

“is it too much to say i’ve been waiting for you this whole time?”

regrets the fact that he wasn’t able to be a part of his child’s life for the first few years, literally becomes wrapped around your little one’s finger because of it.

so adorable and happy that he’s blessed with your lovely child, always smiling when he thinks of them.

literally makes the other members question whether or not they want a child too.

bonding time is painting of course!

usually ends up with all three of you cramped in the shower, you scrubbing furiously at the sticky paint on their skin.

“i’m sorry for having you do this all the time,” renjun's soft voice makes you forget why you were mad in the first place tbh.

massages your shoulders from behind you, causing your fingers to halt in their journey of rubbing some stubborn blue paint off your child.

“it’ll take more than that if you wanna make it up to me,” you hum, leaning back into his chest and gazing into his eyes.

your lips were just about to meet, when —

“ma, i'm not clean yet!”

damn. cockblocked by your own child.

you groan, renjun laughing as he picks up the pouting child with their arms crossed.

“don’t give 妈妈 too much of a hard time, okay?” he never forgets to take care of you above all.

Lee Jeno

when you walk through that door once more, nervously telling jeno that this child is his, you’re afraid of his reaction.

and when you finally gather the courage to do it? his jaw drops and he can’t stop staring at you nor the child and you have to help him sit and calm down.

“아빠?” your child asks, staring up at the still slightly panicked jeno as you hold your breath.

he stares for a moment, mouth wide, before finally, finally smiling, albeit a little awkward and rough around the edges. “yes, little one?”

very new to this whole parenting thing and can barely do anything without asking you first, so he feels bad quite often for having to lean on you so much.

plus he barely knows how to handle a sobbing child, nor can he entertain the child very well,

but you find that the both of them are quite content in each other’s presence as is. so that's a plus !

you'll usually find them in jeno's room together, while you need jeno to watch your child while you go out for an errand or something.

but when you see jeno, well, he starts to look ethereal as the sun shines through the windows in his room.

then, a gentle smile gracing his face as he stares at his sleeping child.

jeno utters your name, causing you to look up, only to find him tracing circles around your child’s soft skin. “딸,” he rasps out, cracking a bleary eye open and gripping their wrist softly. Then, he smiles, all sorts of soft and lovely and.. unguarded.

“You two.. are the best things that have happened to me.”

Lee Donghyuck

haechan tries swallowing back the lump in his throat when he sees you standing in front of that damned door, though to no avail as a tear slips.

starts full-on crying when you say that you’re back for good and that the child is his. it's okay, let it out hyuck. <3

“ah, crying like that on our first meeting… don’t you think your fath — i’m a bit embarrassing?” he asks, sniffling as he tries to muster a smile through his tears.

your child giggles, eyes crinkling while grinning. “no! mommy told me a whooooole lot about you, daddy!”

you have to intervene at this point to stop him from sobbing again.

haechan wastes no time in making up for what he’s missed, so he's definitely going to spoil this child every second that he can.

you’d always find the two of them either going out shopping or messing about at home

also probably just chilling in the comforts of his room, doing god knows what.

one day you were curious, so you peeked through a tiny crack of the open door.

genuinely concerned at what you saw.

was that a... trenchcoat on your child? the two of them were engaged in conversation as haechan started nodding with a serious look on his face.

“so, mj, do you think waffles make mummy happier?” your child asks, holding his magnifying glass up like a mic in front of haechan's face.

mj???

haechan strokes his chin for a moment, before answering, “seeing her reaction when we gave her the ones we bought yesterday, i dee-hee duce they do, sherlock!”

sherlock...?

“good deduck – deduction, mj! i thought so too.”

you can't help but snort as haechan grabs his crotch and poses while high fiving your child.

as stupid as this was, your heart literally melts. the two are far too cute for you, you having to calm yourself before walking in with the widest smile on your face. dorks. 

Na Jaemin

“i was hoping you’d be back, my dear.” his perfunctory smile is so smug that sometimes you just want to punch him in the face. “with a lovely little thing in hand.”

“Your lovely little thing,” you say gently, trying to ignore your anger. you were here to show your child to jaemin. jaemin looks at the two of you with surprise, the curves of his mouth inching upwards.

hey jaemin wasn't trying to be possessive... cause that's weird. but the way you emphasized the word 'your' made his breath hitch. we can unpack that later though.

for now, na jaemin is a certified sugar daddy

jaemin is wrapped around the little one’s finger, his rotten spoiling being the effect of not being in your child’s life for a good while, and, of course, his indispensable regret for having you come back to him.

you asked jeno the whereabouts of your lover and your child, only for him to give you the look, responding that they were out yet again, and are probably not coming back without a few shopping bags in hand.

okay something needed to be done about this. so you decided to conduct a harmless experiment.

placing a few coins on one side of his desk, a toy in the middle, and a beloved fruit on the side. after explaining to him that it’s to see what your child’s fate would be — picking between fortune, fun, and, well, snacks, you think — he simply leans back, interest shining in those eyes of his.

but your child pushes all these away in a second, opting to hug the wide-eyed man on the soft armchair behind the desk.

“and what.. does this mean, ma chérie?” fuck him and the words he's picked up from traveling abroad. but jaemin looked honestly confused as his hands slowly wrap around your child’s.

you smile softly, “isn’t it obvious, silly? the little rascal loves you more than anything.”

he laughs. he doesn't get it. preparing for yet another shopping spree. why do you even try at this point?

Zhong Chenle

oh my god. when he first sees you after years with a child, his child, grasping your hand, chenle has to literally take a quick second to calm down cause he’s so angry.

no, not at you, of course, he would never. but at himself.

he wasn’t there for his child, for you, and god, even if he were, would he have been a good father?

“Y/ — 甜心,” he starts, running his fingers through his already messy bed-head hair and staring at you with eyes that practically scream "please hug me, i'm insecure"

“how am i supposed to take care of a child when i couldn’t even take care of you?”

but don't worry, after many reassuring words and warm hugs, chenle's finally okay and back to his normal self, holding your child up and giggling.

maybe this was a wrong idea cause now you have to take care of a manchild and a child.

is surprisingly very gentle with your child because he honestly doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing. (just because he has a nephew does not mean he knows how to parent a child.)

also very grounded and doesn’t fall for cute little tricks as much, so out of the dreamies, he’d end up becoming one of the better fathers.

also cause he never loses. and no way is he gonna lose an argument with a child.

“不行。” “爸爸, pleaaase?” “no. 不可以。”

chenle seemed to be holding a chocolate bar high above his head, steely gaze fixed on your young child trying to ignore their pleading puppy dog eyes.

“妈妈说 no chocolate, right?” your heart warms when you realize he remembered you scolding your child yesterday, though you can’t help but to feel a little bad.

“chenle,” you say, both their heads turning towards you. “how about you give the little baby some chocolate and we can eat the eggs i just made in the kitchen?”

the way both their eyes shine almost identically is so fucking adorable.

Park Jisung

??!?>!?!>?>!?@#?>(*#(@*(*#!?!@?

“that’s… mine??” “what?” “… it?” “it?” “the.. child?”

actually malfunctions.

jisung is very flustered, for lack of better terms. he was always considered the baby maknae of dream, but his own child? lord, help him.

you... him.... the baby... it or they.. came out of you??? what.

gets awfully flushed whenever he’s carrying his child around the building. everyone tries to stop and coo at the baby, + chenle and haechan have decided to make his life a living hell cracking up jokes whenever they can.

jisung is surprisingly good at getting your chaotic child to sleep with his bedtime stories, which are usually all his big yap sessions.

“and did daddy get that bruise on his forehead because he slipped while chasing uncle chenle and uncle haechan?” you question the two of them, wondering what they had been talking about earlier.

your child nods, bright eyes sparkling and grinning, “아빠 also said, ‘get back here, you devilish imbeciles!’”

oh fuck.

your accusatory gaze turns towards jisung, who averts his eyes, holding an ice pack to his bruising forehead, trying to shield himself from possibly getting more bruises.

“i-in my defense, they were—”

“one more time, park jisung, and i’m changing their legal godfathers to the two imbeciles you love and appreciate so so much.”

his eyes widen in shock, “you wouldn’t.”

“try me.”

now jisung is a grumbling mess when the two idiots are around his child, but the lack of chasing them around can be counted as an upgrade, i guess.

TAGLIST ↬  @lyvhie @aquaphoenixz @ldh0000 @galacticnct @peterm4rker

[soobnny]

dating him | han jisung

❝ you found my heart broken and you helped me make it whole again ❞

chan | lee know | changbin | hyunjin | HAN | felix | seungmin | jeongin

i think you’re a second love type situation for han jisung

the one where he thought he’d never recover from his first heartbreak

but then here u come

i think han’s the type of person to feel everything

if he’s in love, he’s in LOVE

and if he’s hurt, it would just be overwhelming pain

so imagine how he was when he got his first heartbreak

he’d lose a little bit of his spark

maybe keep to himself even more than he used to

u come to his life in the form of a friend first

and han has unknowingly planted a seed that’s grown and grown and grown

with every interaction

with every laugh you’ve brought back

with every moment he was coming out of his shell again

until it’s fully bloomed into a love that’s very very real and very very present

han jisung would also love so beautifully

he knows what it’s like to be hurt, and he doesn’t ever want u to feel that same pain

he rly makes efforts

he is FULL of efforts

and he makes u laugh ☹️☹️☹️☹️

he communicates

and when the boys finally meet u, they’re very grateful but also

????!!!! why do u they know ur favorite color

and ur go-to order at the cafe

and the hoodie u like to steal from jisung the most

well turns out, han loves talking about u to his friends

they just know everything about u before even meeting u

he’d get rly shy about it but never embarrassed

he’d tell the whole world about u if he could

what else can i tell u

han jisung is just someone where nothing sounds crazy to him

so i think all ur dates with him would be so fun and adventurous lowk

amusement parks !!!!!

ice skating and roller blading

both of u would fall on ur ass

but you’d also laugh so much and somehow that makes up for everything

you’d be holding hands and skating with each other and looking at each other with lovesick smiles

I FEEL SICK!!!!!!!!

he’s always trying to impress u too

he tries to imitate figure skaters

kids don’t try this at home

ofc he fails miserably

obvious blushes when you’d tell him he was cute for trying

or when you’d praise him

anyways when i said he’s always trying to impress u i mean ALWAYS

he treats the relationship like he’s still pining after you

being the standard fr

he never lets go of the love

sometimes he’d still get shy to ask u out

somehow he doesn’t believe u actually said yes to him

he thinks he’s the luckiest boy

anyways, aside from adventurous dates, he equally values his inside time and quieter dates

he’s thankful u understand his shifts in his energy

on days u stay inside, you’d probably watch horror movies

look…. he suggests it….

it looked cool in his head to be all protective

you’d hold onto his arm when the jumpscares come

but

womp womp

he ends up being more afraid than u

and now HE’S holding ur arm

yeah it looked way cooler in his head

you’d play silly little board games together

or maybe charades

he’s so easily amused by sexual innuendos

he’s just a man guys

anyways

there are two things he loves to steal from u the most

aside from ur kisses

and it’s (1) ur perfume and (2) ur lip balm

u’d catch him putting on ur perfume just bc he wants to be surrounded by ur scent

it’s very comforting

one time, he was sick and the boys were taking care of him

and when u finally had time to take over and care for ur bf

u just …. smell ur perfume

“did you put on my perfume?”

“i missed you ☹️☹️☹️☹️”

DOWN BADDDDD

he’s so pouty and so cute

let’s suffocate him with the pillow

KIDDINGGGGGG KIDDING

and then ur lip balm

sometimes he steals the actual thing

sometimes he kisses you so he can have it on his lips too

han jisung is also the type to avail every possible couple coupon

and he’s always begging the cashiers to let u prove u’re a couple

it’s so he has an excuse to kiss you

so

months into dating him also means a thousand love letters

he loves writing u love letters

and u know sooner that he also writes songs

on ur anniversary, he reveals a song he’s written for you

and when he proposes, he tells u about every single one he’d ever written about you and for you

wish that were me 😂😂😂😂😂

TAKE CARE OF HIM

note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy

[lisired]

who needs cupid’s bow?

pairing: bff!haechan x (f) reader

genre/warnings: bff2l, suggestive, lots of sexual innuedos but no smut, fluff, a teaspoon of angst, mc & hc are oblivious to each other’s feelings and jaemin calls them out on their bullshit, mutual pining

summary: Cupid is not on your side, it seems. He’s made you fall in love with the worst possible person ever, AKA your best friend, AKA the man who still eats tootsie-pops—willingly. And frankly, it feels like the damn candy has a better chance of dating him than you ever will.

word count: 11.1k

a/n: inspired by down for you by kehlani, boyfriend by ariana grande, and serial lover by kehlani. another oldie but i kinda like it… kinda. as always, feedback is appreciated!

It’s safe to say that Cupid is your mortal enemy (Or immortal—whatever. Nonetheless, you aren’t the biggest fan of him.)

You don’t know why, but for some inexplicable reason, he always makes you fall in love with the wrong people. Such as Lee Taeyong from eighth grade, or your failed relationship with Kim Jisoo from your biology class in high school — a pretty girl, but you were as compatible as Mentos and Coca-Cola. Hell, there was even Jung Sungchan from senior year, who you naturally drifted away from during an exam period. They’re all chapters in your book now, but you’re currently stuck on the one about your best friend, Lee Haechan.

It seems like you’re Cupid’s mortal enemy, too. You and Haechan are always side by side, down one another’s throats, there’s no way his arrow could have hit you and missed Haechan.

Perhaps, it’s a hole you dug yourself in. Via mutual friends, when you were seventeen, you met Lee Haechan — jock, senior, and the most beautiful boy you’ve ever seen. There was an instant connection between you two, all it took was a convo at a party about coincidentally both failing the same math exam, and you quickly became friends and close enough to pour out your heart into little rants whenever there was something personal bothering either of you, and you needed an outlet. You liked him because he understood you. He was patient witth you. You see, you aren’t the best at communicating how you feel, and he never makes you feel bad about it.

You remember breaking up with your then-boyfriend, Jung Sungchan, and while you weren’t heartbroken since you saw it coming and all the love had evaporated by then, you were devastated that you no longer had someone to kiss. That being your main concern made Haechan laugh. He thought it was the most you thing ever.

“Can I kiss you, then?” you asked, a little grin on your face, although you were very serious. It wouldn’t be the end of the world, kissing your best friend. He has pretty lips, and it isn’t like it’ll mean anything, you think. It’s just one kiss.

Haechan scoffed, biting off the last remaining piece of his Tootsie Pop off the stick. You’re kidding, he thinks. Why would you seriously want to kiss him? And after breaking up with your now ex-boyfriend? The wound’s still fresh. “You wouldn’t dare.”

To Haechan’s surprise, you dared.

He tasted like chocolate, exactly like a Tootsie Pop, as expected of him. You didn’t mind, though. You never do. It was fun, you liked the way Haechan held you in his lap and kissed you back with fierceness, and he still kisses you with that same passion, like there’s no tomorrow.

And that’s the problem.

Fast-forward four years later, you’re still best friends with Lee Haechan, only this time you’re in college, and have the fattest, most gigantic crush on him. Somewhere along the way, those lines between love and friendship were blurred. It’s impossible to pinpoint when, but you fell deep and hard for your best friend.

And the worst part? You doubt he’ll ever reciprocate those feelings.

One kiss turned into more than you can count on your fingers and toes.

Should you continue making out with your best friend who doesn’t reciprocate your romantic interest in him? Probably not.

Are you still going to, though? Absolutely.

“Y/n, I’m going to kill you,” Haechan states as he stumps inside the dining room. His hair is tussled since he’s just waken up from a nap, but you like this raw side of him. He looks gorgeous, and despite him basically threatening to murder you you still want to kiss him.

“Romantic,” you deadpan, training your eyes back on your laptop. It takes everything in you not to stare, but if you want to keep your feelings low-key, you need to follow a couple of rules.

“I know you took my Tootsie Pop. Where is it?”

You smirk a little, but it quickly fades into a line. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Okay, so maybe that’s a lie, and you both know it. You aren’t the only other person in the house, but Jungwoo, Haechan’s stepbrother, is asleep and wouldn’t cut his nap time short to do something as stupid as stealing the last of his brother’s favorite candy. That leaves you. As his best friend, you’re the first person to know Haechan turns murderous over those stupid lollipops, and that he’s the last person to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop. In your personal opinion, they’re not even that good. But he’s loved them ever since you’ve known him.

“We’re best friends, y/n. I know when you’re lying,” he remarks, and doesn’t give you the chance to answer before he persists, “where is it?”

There’s only one way out of this.

Run.

Haechan follows almost automatically, and in spite of being barely awake he obviously has the upper hand because he’s always leaned more towards the sport-y side. This doesn’t deter you though, because you have a getaway plan.

In your attempt to somehow outrun a man that used to do track and field, you make a beeline for the backyard door. He’s not going to outrun you in the grass in slippers, you think as you turn to see if he’s caught up on you. You’re in the lead, albeit barely, with your body almost being in arms reach. You try to pick up your speed, and once you reach the door you hurry to turn the knob. Except, there’s one, itty-bitty problem.

The door is fucking locked.

And you already know you won’t have time to open it, so you cave in to defeat, whirling around with your hands up in a surrendering pose. Your plan’s backfired; you’ve been caught.

“Oh, I’ve got you now,” Haechan says cockily. He has you—hook, line, and sinker, and at this point you aren’t even upset. You can’t be upset. His eyes are on you, and his body is close to yours, dangerously so.

“Okay, you win. Happy?” You mumur.

“Not until I get my Tootsie Pop back,” he shakes his head, “now where is it?”

Smiling, you shrug. Of course, you know where the candy is, but he’s either going to have to win or pry the answer out of you.

Then, he steps even closer, and your heart starts pounding in your chest twenty times faster than your feet were against the hardwood. This isn’t your first rodeo, you’ve made out with your best friend countless times, yet the anticipation gives you a rush, like you’ve never done this before. It makes you feel like a teenager in love all over again — seventeen, young and head over heels in love with the man closest to you.

He’s back you into the door, and you can’t keep your eyes off his lips. Beautiful, plush, soft, and your eyes flutter shut as you prepare to feel the same skilled pair against your own, closer, and closer, and closer—

Crunch.

“I fucking knew it!” Haechan yells, jolting your eyes open. You aren’t even given the opportunity to register the situation before his hands are digging into your back pocket, retrieving his fortunately unharmed Tootsie Pop.

It feels like he’s gone before you can even blink, and realizing he’s slipped back into the hall, you begin to follow him into his room. “Hey!” you yell, and he doesn’t say anything, just looking up at you from his gaming chair with that damn candy hanging from his mouth, “why didn’t you kiss me?”

“Why’d you steal my Tootsie Pop?”

Okay, that was stupid, yes, but there was a particular goal in mind which was reached, even if for a short-lived moment.

You frown, “I wanted your attention.”

Haechan shakes his head, laughing. “C’mere.”

Somehow, those words never fail, making you melt and slip into his lap effortlessly every time. You’re like Jell-O to his voice, to his touch, to his whole. You’re a goner, some would say, and a part of you is alright with never coming back if it means you get to feel all the weird, Cupid-y emotions he makes you feel.

At this point, you don’t think you’ll ever stop kissing Haechan. In the time that you’ve been together, you’ve both been in relationships, hence putting the make out sessions on hiatus. They were never really long though, because you’d break up with them and inevitably find your way back to one another in the end.

His fingers guide your chin up, and once more your eyes flutter shut as his lips unite with yours. Haechan kisses in a manner that contrasts with the soft feeling of his lips. He always starts off gentle, but there’s a hunger that overcomes him as he stands up and pushes you against his desk, rough yet graceful and holding you so firmly, like you’re glass, but he wants to break you. And when he shatters you into all those tiny pieces, you don’t care. You want him to glue you back together and do it all over again. He’s intoxicating, he’s an addictive drug, but he tastes like candy, and you can’t stop coming back to him. He feels like home, the place where you belong. The place where you can be one-hundred percent, authentically you, safe and whole, more than the general perception than you. And fuck, does he kiss like the damn devil himself.

You were silly for ever believing it would only be one kiss.

Jungwoo thinks that for people who are trying to keep their not-so relationship-y relationship under wraps, you two are very loud.

Speaking of which, and despite the nature of your relationship, you and Haechan haven’t even discussed your label. You know that you aren’t friends with benefits—you haven’t crossed that line, but to be honest, those lines have been starting to look blurry for a while—but you also aren’t in a relationship. You see other people, you fuck other people, and when other people ask if you’re dating, you both deny it immediately. You’re just best friends, you both say each time like some rehearsed line, even if it breaks your heart to hear him friendzone you.

Karina and Mark even have an ongoing bet about you two. Karina is one-hundred positive there’s something going on, whereas Mark is probably the only person in the world that wants to give you guys the benefit of the doubt.

“For heaven’s sake, I can’t get any type of sleep around here,” Jungwoo rasps, leaning against the doorframe, “I really hope you guys don’t do this shit when Dohwan’s here.”

His judgmental eyes practically bore into your soul, and you thank heaven that you don’t have to worry about keeping this secret from Jungwoo, even if he would probably appreciate it more if you did. He finds you in a rather interesting position, straddling Haechan’s lap as you press kisses into his collarbone.

It’s all Haechan’s fault, really. Three years ago, Jungwoo made the mistake of walking inside Haechan’s bedroom without knocking, accidentally finding you two making out in a very touchy way on his bed because a certain someone didn’t think to lock the door. Not only did you ruin his quote-unquote innocence, but his perception of you forever, and ever since that ordeal, Jungwoo has never opened his stepbrother’s door without knocking. This time, it just so happened to be wide-open.

You bite your lip, feeling bad. Kim Dohwan is Haechan’s halfbrother of whom he babysits whenever available (and you like to tag on, because dealing with children is stressful and Haechan’s already stressed enough), and on weekdays Jungwoo has to wake up from his nap earlier to pick up the kid from school and bring him back home, then leave for work. You were too loud and disrupted the poor guy’s nap time.

“Oh,” Haechan says the syllable blankly, not too sympathetic, “did we wake you?”

“Of course not, I usually wake up at 2pm and take extra longs showers to start my day,” Jungwoo deadpans, “but whatever. I’m heading out. Don’t forget to go grocery shopping today.”

“Noted,” you and Haechan say simultaneously, gazing at one another and stifling giggles when you catch each other’s gaze. Jungwoo smiles at you, then flicks off his brother before parting.

When you’re both all alone again, a few seconds pass before Haechan’s eyes do that thing where they twinkle every time something catches his interest (or perhaps that’s the in love side of your brain making you see things.)

“Hey, you coming to Chenle’s Valentines Day party Monday?” You don’t know why he’s even asking, you follow Haechan everywhere he goes like a lost puppy. Maybe he’s discreetly asking you out. “Unless you’re actually busy, by the way, I hope you know you’re going. And maybe you’ll find some single pringle interested in a relationship. You can’t just kiss me forever, you know.” Oh. Well that eliminates that thought.

A part of you is yelling at you to decline, to lie and say that you actually have a dick or pussy appointment scheduled for the 14th, yet another is weak, in spite of you being aware of how this works. First of all, Valentine’s Day parties are mainly for single people who don’t have anything better to do, and each time one of you go to one, you end up meeting some stranger and hooking up with them. You know that’s more than likely what he’s going to do, and you aren’t strong enough to watch him flirt with other people.

You know how to put up a good front, though, so you’ll fake it until you make it.

“We can do a lot more than kiss,” you suggest with a wink.

Haechan grimaces, “No thanks. Now get off my lap.”

You frown, but climb off his lap nonetheless. “Wow,” you drag dramatically, “You’ll make out with me for what feels like hours, but sticking your dick in me is where you draw the line?”

“Precisely.”

You gasp in faux offense. “Oh, come on. Sex doesn’t seem so bad. Like, think of it as my pussy giving your dick a nice warm hug.”

Haechan’s at a lost for words, his face bright red. How do you even come up with this stuff? “Oh my god, are you coming or not?”

You joke, “I thought you said sticking your dick in me was where you draw the line?”

He shoots you a glare so sharp you’re sure that if you were still on his lap, he’d be barely resisting the urge to shove you off. You don’t miss the way his cheeks heat up, though.

Haechan groans exasperatedly, leaning back his gaming chair, “Y/n, seriously!”

“Fine!” resisting your best friend is literally impossible, you conclude, because you have officially caved in to his request—or, more or less, demand, rather, “fine, fine! I’ll go!”

“Great,” he grins with satisfaction, beaming with his thirty-two teeth, and you even see little gleams of smiles in his eyes, “anyway, Dohwan’s gonna be here soon, so let’s get ready to go shopping.”

You furrow your brows. You have a solid twenty minutes left, and all you really need to do is slip on your shoes.

“I need more Tootsie Pops,” Haechan adds, and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense.

And you roll your eyes. “We’ll get you some more Tootsie Pops, but you better not ditch us for the candy aisle!”

“Of course, not,” he smiles, not even trying to sound or appear convincing. “I’d never leave you guys.”

That’s exactly what he does.

You aren’t even remotely surprised, though heavily disappointed when he announces in the middle of the thankfully empty cereal aisle that he’s going to find Tootsie Pops, managing to run off before you can even protest.

Gripping the shopping cart, you avert your gaze from the Cinnamon Toast Cruch boxes to his figure, almost missing him jog onto the following aisle. You shake your head, a small smile tugging your lips. If it were the end of the world, Haechan would stock up on those candies before he would even think to consider water.

“Auntie Y/N,” you aren’t quite adjusted to being addressed as an aunt, but you aren’t against it either. You have the image all put together—rich, thriving, and the kids adore you, “do you love my brother?”

That was perhaps the very last question you expected the six-year-old boy to ask you. Your eyes are a little wide, but it’s a kid, you remind yourself, so you shouldn’t be worried. But shit, then again, if a first-grader can figure it out, you’re fresh out of luck.

“Why do you think that?” You crouch down to be eye-level with him, having a feeling there’s some misunderstanding here. Dohwan’s bright for his age and doesn’t let anyone forget it, but you’ll be damned if he’s sniffed you out.

He makes a face. “I saw you kiss him, just like mommy and daddy do. And my mommy and daddy love each other very—” he stretches the vowel, and you can’t but giggle, “—much! That’s why they made me!” then he gasps, and you fear what it means, praying he doesn’t ask what you think he will. “Will you and my brother have a baby, too? I wan’ a new friend!”

On second thought, you think you’d rather he would’ve asked you what you thought he was. You nearly have a heart attack in the middle of the aisle, yet still, Dohwan gazes up at you with his innocent, sparkly eyes. You assume it’s in the blood; Jungwoo doesn’t have them, and he isn’t blood-related to Haechan, but Dohwan partially is, and the twinkle is promiment.

Calmly, you reply, “Don’t you already have a lot friends?”

He does, you both know it. You vaguely remember pulling up to his sixth birthday bash and being in shock of all the little kids jumping and flipping on the Spider-Man bouncy house. You haven’t been surrounded by that many children since, hell, probably since kindergarten.

“Yeah, but I wanna be a big brother,” he folds his tiny arms and pouts, “It’s not fair Hyuck and Woo get to be big, but I don’t!”

With minimum success, you manage to stifle your laugh, stretching out your arms to bring the little boy in for a hug, “You’ll be big one day. Trust me, you don’t wanna rush it.”

“And strong like Superman?”

“And strong like Superman,” you reassure, all smiley and convincing. “Now let’s go check up on your big brother, he’s taking too long.”

Dohwan rocks from side to side as he walks, murmuring some Nickelodeon TV show theme song, and you push the cart until you’ve reached your designation.

Quickly, you regret acting on your impatience. The scene taking place at the back of the aisle is anything but comforting—Haechan’s talking to some girl, whom of which is literally throwing herself onto him, and you can’t help but notice the way he wallows in the attention. For fucks sake, all the attention you give him and he doesn’t even give a fraction of it back! Then here comes this random girl from your campus.

Sometimes, you think about how you could do everything she’s doing right now—twirl your hair around your finger, be touchy with him, giggling girlishly at everything he says, funny or not—and yet he wouldn’t bat an eye, because you’re best friends and nothing more. Kissing each other breathless is already normalized between the two of you, what’s a little flirting.

Sometimes, you wish you hadn’t kissed your best friend that day. You’re both too comfortable, everything is too weightless. I love you, Haechan says it back without a thought. C’mere, he calls and pulls you onto his lap or cuddles you to death. Fuck, he—on very rare occasions when making out goes a little too far—groans into your ear, groping you a little. Scratch that. It may be weightless on his end, but it isn’t on yours, and everything has an everlasting effect on you.

“Auntie?”

When you look down at Dohwan, your gaze is so, so tired. Your eyes do the talking; you can’t move your lips.

He hugs your leg. “I love you.”

His face is pure, innocent, but he reads you so perfectly. The corners of your lips turn up, and you ruffle his hair, “Love ya, too. Let’s go get your brother, alright?”

He bounces eagerly, and you both begin to stroll down the aisle until you’re beside Haechan. You’re in a selfish mood today, so you think of some remark to make in the process.

“Nice Tootsie Pops, Bowlcut,” you mask your tiny emotional breakdown with a joke, “Hi, Faith.”

“Hope,” she corrects, evidently annoyed by your presence, though she doesn’t state it outright. “My name is Hope. And… bowl cut?”

“Interchangeable,” you dismiss her correction carelessly. In all honesty, you already knew her name, but you’re feeling like a bitter bitch currently, “and yeah, in high school Haechan had this hideous bowl cut that he—”

“Shut the fuck up,” Haechan grumbles, “that was four years ago!”

“And I’ll never forget,” you’re smiling blissfully, nostalgic. “Anyways, what’cha two doing?”

“We were catching up, it’s been a minute since I’ve seen Hope here,” you hear Hope snicker at this, and something about it is extremely off-putting. He turns to her, “So, I’m in a bit of a time crunch. Could I have your number?”

Ouch. Right in your face, literally.

She giggles some more, typing her number in his phone, and you try to focus on Dohwan so that you don’t cave into your desire to knock her upside the head. There’s already so much on your plate, you don’t need an assault charge.

She smiles, all bubbly and giddy. You know jealousy isn’t a good look, but it’s still pissing you off. “See you around?”

“See you around,” Haechan replies. She hugs him, not forgetting to shoot you a look from across his shoulder as she does, and only once satisfied does she turns on her heel, sashaying away.

“Didn’t know pussy was on the shopping list,” you sneer, relieved once she’s finally gone. Her presence was suffocating.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he rolls his eyes, “at least I’m actually trying, I don’t know what you’re going to do when I’m cuffed down and—holy sh—I mean crap! You’re so quiet, I forgot you were here,” Haechan jumps, only noticing Dohwan when he pokes at his leg. “And don’t you dare make a cuff joke, y/n. Not in front of the kid.”

You yell in that defensive tone which is a tell-tale sign you’re lying, “I wasn’t gonna!”

Haechan gives you the look.

The we’re-best-friends, I-know-when-you’re-lying look.

And that look is utterly withering, so you decide you’re accepting defeat. “Okay fine, maybe I was thinking about it, but I wasn’t actually gonna say it. Not with him around.”

Haechan snorts, like you said something funny, but in reality he just doesn’t believe you. “Yeah, alright. Let’s finish shopping.”

You don’t argue, but there’s a lingering thought in your mind as you push the cart, rattling around in your brain still.

When he’s cuffed. Hmm. You can’t speak for him completely, but you both know how that one goes. When you get into a relationship, you think the person is great and they serve as a nice temporary distraction—that is, until you’re bored and realize no one will ever compare to Haechan, and especially not in the kissing department. So you break up, and then you go back to making out with Haechan, solidifying your suspicion that no one will ever replace your best friend. It’s the reason you don’t do relationships anymore, you feel bad for using people when you know it isn’t going to change a thing. It never does.

As far as your knowledge extends, things aren’t too different with Haechan. You and him don’t push things, you don’t pry too deep. There’s some unspoken boundary, and you know when to drop things. That’s why you both say the same thing each time you ask one another why you and whoever it was that you were previously seeing broke up—it wasn’t working out.

Like a moth to a flame, Haechan always finds his way back to you too, because apparently you’re the only person that can keep him tied down. You don’t think that’s the case, though. Your problem is you’re in love with your best friend, no matter how hard you try to suppress the feelings. His problem? You can’t be sure, but you’d guess commitment issues.

Whatever it is, and as selfish as it may sound, you want it to stay. He isn’t yours, but you like the comfort of knowing that he isn’t anyone else’s, either.

If Cupid had a human counterpart, it would be Na Jaemin in reincarnated form. He may not have wings nor a bow and arrow, but he does have dedication and a gigantic mouth.

“I can’t believe you called me over here for this,” you stand in an effort to leave, but Jaemin pulls you back down by your wrist, so you sigh, accepting that you’re stuck in the cafe and in the middle of a Jaem-terrogation.

“Not so fast, Sonic. You still haven’t answered my question. I don’t have all day, you know, I have other people’s business to be in,” he admits unabashedly, and you snort at his honesty.

Jaemin is an extremely shameless, extremely straightforward individual. He knows what he wants, how to get it, and the only time he’s afraid of letting someone know what he’s chasing for is when it interferes with his goal of obtaining said desire. He loves all things drama and gossip, and these are the lengths he’ll go to squeeze information out of you. No wonder he’s one of the writers for the campus newspaper.

“I don’t have feelings for Haechan,” you fiddle with your fork. “And even if I did, why would it matter? Haechan doesn’t have feelings for me, either.”

“Forgive me, but you’re a fucking dumbass,” Jaemin concludes, and you gasp in dramatic offense. “Why would I be here if he didn’t like you back, y/n? You know that he hasn’t had anyone over in two weeks? There’s like, three things at the top of Haechan’s list of shit he needs to survive, and that’s you, Tootsie Pops, and sex. Yet he’s gone two entire weeks without it. He likes you, really fucking bad.”

“Golly gee, Haechan hasn’t fucked anyone in two entire weeks. He must be head over heels in love with me,” you deadpan, ignoring how Jaemin rolls his eyes in response. “Be serious, Jaem. He literally got this girl’s number the other day. The man said himself that he doesn’t want to stick his dick in me. There’s nothing going on.”

Okay, so maybe Haechan is a raging sexaholic. Maybe he’s been a little horny recently. And maybe contact-full makeout sessions have been a reoccurrence in the past two weeks, but none of that matters, and he typically has extreme self control. Fresh as yesterday, he was definitely trying to get into Hope’s pants. It’s weightless, everything between you. It means absolutely nothing, and you’re trying to come to terms with the possibility that it never will. You wish your friends would accept the fact, too.

At least they don’t know you and Haechan make out, and have been for the past four years. They’d be insufferable, and you two would absolutely never hear the end of it.

“Y/n, please. Your biggest competition is those damn Tootsie Pops.”

“And if you told him that he had to live without me or the candy, he’d choose them over me any day.”

“Actually, he’d tell me to fuck off—and stop asking him stupid questions. You can’t tell me I’m wrong because I’m speaking from experience,” Jaemin grins, “I pushed the question until he gave me a proper answer. He chose you, by the way.”

You groan into your hands, “Unless you have some other evidence to provide besides this stupid question and him not getting laid in two weeks, you’re wasting my time here, Cupid.”

Jaemin sighs, “I thought I could pressure you into admitting your feelings—”

“I don’t have feelings for Haechan!”

“—that you deny having, but I guess taking the high road doesn’t work. Don’t worry, I still have plan B. I mean, you should be worried, but it’s whatever.”

You blink. “Plan B?”

He ignores you, standing up and preparing to take his leave. You’re still curious about whatever his alternative, backup plan is however, and he doesn’t look like he’s going to tell you.

“Jaemin!” You shriek. “What are you talking about?”

“February 14th, Chenle’s party,” he answers vaguely, swinging his bag over his shoulders. “Be there, or be square. Whatever that means.”

He exits without another word, leaving you dumbfounded and with a sudden dread in your chest. They don’t… know, do they? No, of course not. How could they? You’ve been keeping this secret for nearly four years, and the only people that know are Jungwoo and Dohwan.

Great. Another reason to dread the fourteenth, and despise Cupid—and his human counterpart, your actual mortal enemy.

“I know you like Regina George, but the dress code is Cady Heron.”

Bummer. You didn’t exactly plan on attending as a sexy bunny in fishnets and knee-high boots, but you don’t intend on wearing a Party City outfit, neither. It’s only the 6th though, so you still have a week and some change to outfit plan.

You frown, “Why the change? None of his past parties have had much of a dress code.”

“Because Chenle is also stuck babysitting his baby brother on Valentine’s day while his parents are having a date night,” Haechan answers. “I’m not saying you have to dress like a prude, but don’t dress like a slut, either.”

Ignoring the insinuation behind his words, you don’t miss the fact he said also. “What do you mean also? Don’t tell me…”

“Exactly what you think. Dad is whisking my stepmom away on a romantic evening date to only God knows where, and Jungwoo is busy with his girlfriend, so me being the sole single-pringle in the family gave him the bright idea to have me baby sit,” he explains, though he doesn’t seem burdened by the task. “I don’t really mind, though. It’d be one thing if I planned on getting some pussy that night, but no one’s smashing at a party where there’s children. I hope not, at least.”

You wince at that. You hope not, too. It’s a setback that you have to re-plan your outfit, but on the plus side, Haechan can and will help you decide this time, even if you have to force him.

So that’s where you find yourself a couple hours later, your bedroom a mess as the aftermath of the meticulous care you’ve put into your self-styling. You’ve narrowed it down to two outfit selections; option A, the white crop-top with the cute pink pants; or option B, the pretty and red mini-dress with stilettos. It’s a little embarrassing that hours of your indecisiveness have led you to this conclusion, but you want to choose the perfect outfit that’s also not overbearing.

“And I have to help you why?”

“Because you’re my best friend, and that’s what best friends are for, duh.”

Haechan’s favorite thing about your place is you have all his utmost favorite games—and that literally everything there is like a piece of you, from the decoration to the smell of your perfume bottles you keep in your bathroom. He’d never tell you that, though—so he wasn’t too enthusiastic about being interrupted from his video-gaming session. But then, he realized he gets a special preview of your Valentine’s day outfit, and Haechan loves the way you dress, probably an abnormal amount. Slutty or prude-y.

“Then what’cha waiting for? Strip for me, princess,” he demands jokingly. It isn’t normal for you to feel bashful by anything a guy says, but everything is so different with Haechan. It’s the littlest, simplist things that drive you over the edge, that make you want him in ways you probably, scratch that, definitely shouldn’t.

And all the questions, assumptions, and rumors regarding your nonexistent relationship with Haechan aren’t exactly unwarranted. You two flirt and touch an abnormal amount, and while it’s common knowledge that Haechan is a touchy person, and you’re a natural flirt, people say it’s extreme between you two.

That makes you laugh. When it comes to the tension between you both that people speak of, you wish you could see what they see.

“You want to watch me strip?” You’re genuinely surprised, only the other day he seemed repulsed by the thought of you naked. “That’s new. I’m guessing you haven’t gotten laid in a hot minute.”

Haechan rolls his eyes, silently confirming what Jaemin told you at the cafe, but you shake the thought away, refusing to let it spur you on. It doesn’t mean anything. “Anyways. You’ve got nothing I haven’t seen before, baby girl. Now, you gonna strip or what?”

“I’m stripping, I’m stripping! Relax, Liam Payne!” It’s really nothing he hasn’t seen before, because Haechan’s seen naked girls, and he’s seen you half-naked before, so neither of you actually care. You peel off your top, slowly and in a strip tease sort of way and look him in the eye, giggling once you catch him shaking his head. You don’t repeat the movement with your shorts though, simply taking them off and picking up your new shirt to slip it off the hanger.

Successfully discreet, Haechan wallows in the sight of you half-naked for as long as he can before you’re slipping on the crop top and the pink pants. Now that he thinks about it, he bought you those pants, and darn do they make your ass look good. Then he realizes he’s thinking about your ass and taking not as discreet looks at it, and shakes the thought away.

“So?” Your voice cuts through the silence. “What do you think?”

He needs a moment to gather himself and recollect his thoughts, because he feels like turning on Destiny’s Child’s Bootylicious and if spoke his mind he would definitely say something he’d regret. Like, I could fuck the shit out of you. He doesn’t think he should say that.

“What do you mean, what do I think? I bought you those pants, I’d be damned if I thought you didn’t look good in them,” Haechan supplies, making you roll your eyes in response.

“Very underwhelming reaction. I wanted you to fall out on the floor and pass out for a few seconds with your hand on your chest,” you pout.

“Definitely not doing all that,” he chuckles. “But you do look good enough for… somebody to do it. Anyways, it’s stripping time again. Get in that dress for me, princess.”

If he doesn’t stop with the pet names you’re going to combust. You hide it though, taking off outfit option A and putting on option B. You feel confident in your appearance, with or without him, but the way Haechan’s practically gawking at you does boost said confidence.

“What about this one?”

Okay, so Haechan’s one-hundred percent biased in his decision—or maybe he isn’t, since he didn’t buy this outfit—though nonetheless, he loves this dress on you. In his personal opinion, you’ll look good in anything you wear, but the way this particular dress hugs your figure perfectly is a bonus. He knows all eyes are going to be on you the moment you step inside Chenle’s house, and maybe he’s going to have to keep you and Dohwan close to his side.

Rather than replying verbally, Haechan walks forward and pulls you into a kiss. His hands dip around your waist, skirting the area until he’s gripping you like he’s afraid of letting go.

And as always, you melt into his lips. Like ice to the sun, or wax to a flame. It’s the umpteenth kiss in your whole lifetime, but Haechan always makes it feel like the first time. Like two love-struck highschoolers, except with a lot more experience. Haechan kisses you like he loves you, and you hate it. You might even loathe it.

His fingers slip down your hips, to your revealed thighs, like he just so happens to know that’s one of your weak spots. Luckily you’ve learned some of his weak spots too, and not really thinking, you don’t hesitate to aim for his most sensitive one - his neck. You can’t get used to how beautiful he sounds as he moans, your lips pressing into his sweet spot and leaving undoubtedly a mark.

“Fuck,” Haechan moans, “you’re my kryptonite, you know that?”

“A kiss is all it takes for you to fold?” You gasp out with a smirk.

“Shut up.”

Your grin widens. “Make me.”

Just as he leans in, about to pin you down to your duvet and kiss the life out of you while you’re thinking that maybe this is the tension people speak of, his phone rings in his back pocket. It feels like snapping out some trance or spell, like a reverse Cupid’s arrow, and he instantly backs off of you.

He takes a look at his phone screen. “I um, I gotta take this.”

Biting your lip, you nod. “Okay.”

“You look great though,” he comments, and you smile thinly at him as he slips from between your fingertips yet again.

It seems that you’re left all alone, pathetically wet, and wondering if that person on the other line is Hope - but you try to shake that thought off.

Sighing, you flop against your sheets. Love is some extremely cruel, extremely rigged game that only lucky people win, and it seems that Luck has sided with the evil that is Cupid. You’ve been dealt cards, and Haechan refuses to show you his hand. All you can do is watch it play out.

Haechan knew that something was dangerously off when Jaemin bought him a brand-new bag of Tootsie Pops without being asked, and invited you over for a movie night with the guys, offering to open up with you and Haechan’s all-time favorite movie, Mean Girls. He even offered to play The Kissing Booth next! Everyone else instantly protested of course, but the fact he offered in the first place is borderline suspicious.

Sure, Jaemin’s not the devil or anything, depending on who you ask. He’s… kind, and he can be a sweetheart. But Jaemin does nothing for free, and Haechan can’t shake the thought that this is planned bribery. And it isn’t hush-money. Jaemin doesn’t buy silence, he buys words.

By the time Jaemin asks Haechan to help him with the popcorn, he’s ninety-nine point nine percent sure that something is definitely wrong here. Yet still, he follows him into the kitchen.

“Alright, what’s up man?” Haechan wastes zero time, wanting to get to the bottom of all this. “I know you want something out of me. There’s no other reason you would offer to play The Kissing Booth, or buy me Tootsie Pops for free.”

Jaemin scoffs, but he doesn’t try to front, “Glad you know. Since we’re on the same page, let’s address this thing with you and y/n.”

“That’s what this is about?” Haechan grumbles. “I’ve told you, I don’t have feelings for her!” He whisper-yells.

Jaemin has heard that far too many times for it to be convincing. He’s positive that even Helen Keller herself could tell you two are hopelessly in love. Takes one to know one, he thinks. It seems the three of you must be blind, because you and Haechan are oblivious to your feelings for one another, and it’s painfully obvious.

“And Mary wasn’t a virgin,” Jaemin says ironically, making Haechan roll his eyes. “If you’re not in love with her, then explain what the hell is going on between you two. I know that she’s your best friend or whatever, but you don’t act like it at all. From a fresh perspective, someone would totally think you’re in love.”

Haechan hates that he’s right. It doesn’t make sense the amount of times you’ve gone to public places and had cashiers refer to you as a couple, or elderly people ask you if you’re together. Because you’re not. You’re best friends, and even if Haechan wants to be more than that, that’s his label. And he’s sure he’s stuck with it for life.

“You’re fucking Hope to distract yourself from your feelings for y/n,” Jaemin adds, and it’s a statement, not a question.

“I’m not—”

“You are,” Jaemin interjects. “Head over heels, in love with a girl you think doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, and you’re also being an ass to her, whether you know it or not.”

If Haechan was in a situation where he needed to simplify the reason you two click so well, he’d say chalk it up to compatibility and say it’s because you’re like a mirror of one another. Which also means he knows you, better than anyone else even, and he knows neither of you do the whole catching feelings things anymore. You like to fuck and flirt, and fuck some more, to avoid the fact that you love too hard. If you fuck people whose names you don’t even remember, it doesn’t mean a darn thing that you two make out.

No one really knows about that part yet. But they do know that you like to fuck, and that’s why Haechan thinks that if he’s an ass, then that means so are you. What the fuck is he doing that you aren’t?

Even if he is an ass, what is he supposed to do? He’s only recently realized that damn, he actually does have feelings for you, which is where Hope comes along and yes, he is fucking her to distract himself from you. So what? It’s not like it’s working, he’s still stuck on you, obsessed with the thought of you, craving your touch and the sound of your voice. He still loves you, and it’s so scary because no matter what his friends say, he thinks they don’t know you or your relationship like he does. They think they do, but they don’t.

“I’m not in love,” Haechan lies through his teeth, “maybe I’m in like.”

Jaemin snorts. In like? That’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. Not in love his fucking ass. “You’re in denial, that’s what you are.”

Haechan grumbles, trying desperately not to raise his voice so that the others don’t hear him from the living room, “Even if I did like her—and I’m telling you, I don’t—it wouldn’t change anything because she doesn’t like me.”

“You two are the same breed of oblivious and stupid,” Jaemin takes the popcorn out of the microwave, pouring it all into a bowl. He’s even laughing, much to Haechan’s confusion, but he’s apparently unbothered by Haechan’s lack of confession, “but fine. Lie to my face. I still have a backup plan.”

“A back-up plan?” Haechan repeats, lost.

“I just thought it would be nice of me to try and get you to confess before I have to work a Valentine’s day miracle, but unfortunately you two are a match made in heaven—both terribly stubborn,” Jaemin says vaguely, not really answering Haechan’s question, “so I guess we’ll all know the truth at Chenle’s party.”

Jaemin exits with the popcorn bowls before Haechan can even part his lips to ask another question, and he stands there, shocked and unsure of how to react. He’s concerned, though. Jaemin has something cooking (besides the popcorn), and he isn’t sure what, but it’s Na fucking gossiping blabbermouth Jaemin. That means it can’t be anything good.

So apparently when you and Haechan had that heated makeout session the other day, you left a trail - or in other words, you marked his neck the fuck up.

You hadn’t noticed because he covered it up with concealer, but you’re in the middle of another one of those when he stops you, preventing you from repeating your mistake.

“You can’t do that. People will see,” Haechan frowns. You wonder what’s the problem with hickeys. Is he embarrassed? No way. Haechan? Embarrassed? About hickeys? He has much bigger fish to fry.

In contrast, you’re over the moon. Even if he isn’t yours, marking him up makes you feel like he belongs to you. Plus, other people will see, and they’ll know that he isn’t theirs, either. Haechan also has a beautiful neck, you realize as you stare at his skin. It makes you wonder if there’s anything about him that isn’t beautiful.

“Would that be so bad?” You ask. “You’d look sexy all marked up by me.”

Haechan groans, “Do you ever think with your head and not your pussy?”

“I wish my pussy was my head. My head’s just so full of you,” you sigh dramatically.

It’s rare for Haechan to blush, but you somehow manage to make him full-on flush sometimes and you take that as an achievement. It’s partially the reason you love flirting with him so much, he’s so reactive. His reactions are cute sometimes.

“Be serious for 5 seconds,” he whines, and you giggle.

“I was serious,” you insist, “but fine, I’ll think with my head since yours is clearly not working. No one’s gonna assume they’re from me, Hyuck. Just tell them they’re from one of your hoes.”

“I know, but it’s not them I’m worried about. It’s, um…” he trails off.

You’re confused, blinking. If not your friends, then who on earth—oh, for fucks sake.

“It’s Hope,” you utter tonelessly.

“Yeah, uh, yeah,” he wonders why you suddenly sound so dry, and then the whole grocery shopping thing seeps back into his mind. You obviously don’t like Hope, and it’s not just you, really. Lots of people don’t like her. But Haechan needs a pretty face to compete with the image of yours in his head, even if it isn’t winning. “She kinda likes me, and—”

“Do you like her?” You don’t mean to ask so fast. It slips, like your mouth has a mind of its own.

Haechan shrugs. No, he doesn’t like her. He likes you, but he thinks that maybe he can somehow convince himself it’s the other way around. So he replies, “Maybe.”

Fuck. You try not to appear suddenly devoid of life, forcing a cheery smile. “That’s… nice,” you lie through your teeth. “Let me take this opportunity to have one last kiss before I possibly never will again?”

Haechan snickers, to silently say as if. He isn’t wrong for it, either. One kiss is never one kiss with him — never has been, never will be. There’s a reason you both bonded over bombing a math exam.

D-day rolls around, and you’re eyeing your frame in your full-length mirror, smoothing your palms over your dress as you give yourself a quick once-over before the clock strikes 7PM. You look like that bitch, and everyone in that party is going to fucking know it because you’re going to walk in there like that bitch. Fuck Cupid. You don’t need his stupid bow. And fuck Haechan, too. He’s your ride, but he’s gonna ditch you at some point in the party like he always does. It’ll be no different now, and this time, you’ll be the first one to leave.

The chime of the doorbell jolts you from your mental slumber, and you quickly reach for your purse then head towards the door with a heavy heartbeat. You know he’s already seen you in this dress, he chose it for fucks sake, but there’s something else that gets your heart racing—no. You can’t think about him. Fuck Haechan, remember? He’s no good for you.

“Here goes nothing,” you mutter to yourself, palm on the doorknob, “you can do this.”

Haechan’s sucks in a breath the moment you open the door. You look gorgeous. You always do, but in this particular moment, you look better than you ever have before. Those corny romance sayings usually make him laugh with mirth, but he’s genuinely convinced you look better everyday that he sees you. All dressed up like this, or not.

“You look so pretty, Auntie!” Dohwan beats him to a compliment.

You bend down to ruffle the boy’s hair, “Thank you, Dohwan. You look very handsome.” And then you look at Haechan.

He looks handsome as well, unfortunately. Jet black hair, exposed forehead, and his outfit is black with red hearts in the center of the shirt. You try not to pay him too much mind, but your heart and the place between your thighs don’t seem to agree with your mind. He catches you looking at him, and feels a twinge of anxiousness in his heart. Get it together, man, he tells himself. Lee Donghyuck doesn’t get nervous looking at pretty girls. Lee Donghyuck doesn’t hesitate about his actions, either, wondering if he should hold your hand, he doesn’t rethink what he should say. It all comes to him naturally.

“Yeah, you look beautiful,” he settles, mentally cursing himself for being unable to think of anything else. He blames you. Ever since you first snuck in his mind, you’ve been living rent-free there, and make it hard to think about anything else sometimes. That’s why he thought that needed distractions.

If you could relay the message to your heart, you’d tell it stop beating. Instead, you mask your emotion, smiling. “Thank you, likewise. Now c’mon, we gotta get there by 7:30!”

Haechan’s saddened by the dismissal, but you don’t catch his face as you walk to his car.

If you ignore him, you can do this.

Haechan cannot do this.

Something isn’t right. It wasn’t right the second he noticed you gave him a simple, rushed compliment, not bothering to make some sexual remark that usually makes Haechan’s cheeks feel like fire. You didn’t even kiss him before you got in the car. And Haechan’s sure you’ve been avoiding him like the plague, scurrying off and getting lost in the red and pink sea before he could even ask you if you wanted to check out the drink menu.

He doesn’t know where you are, and that haunts him. Turns out Chenle is paying Yangyang, Ten and Jisung to keep the kids entertained on one end of the house, whilst the adults do adult-y things on the other. You could be with someone else for all he knows, hell, you probably are. He was practically fuming when he saw some people staring at you as you walked in.

“Uh oh, I think y/n divorced Haechan,” Chenle jokes, and a choir of laughs follows suit.

Haechan grumbles, “A guy can’t miss his girl best friend?”

“Of course, you can,” Chenle drawls, “but everyone knows she’s more than just a friend to you. Like even if you aren’t together, there’s no way you guys don’t have feelings for each other.”

“Right? And they’re so cute together, too. A literal match made in heaven by angel Cupid,” Jaemin agrees, speaking as though Haechan isn’t right there.

“You’re dating y/n?” gasps Karina, overhearing Jaemin much to Haechan’s dismay. Oh, great, she’s as much as a blabbermouth as he is. The whole world’s going to think Haechan’s dating you in five minutes or less.

“No!”

“Yes, he is, spread the word,” Jaemin says, already knowing he doesn’t have to tell her. Karina’s mumbling I knew it under her breath before jogging somewhere.

“You know,” Haechan starts, downing a shot because if he’s not at least tipsy he’s going to die at this party, “she’s been making me watch murder documentaries with her and I’ve definitely picked up a thing or two. I’d be careful.”

Jaemin scoffs, “Please. You’re going to be kissing my ass and the ground that I walk on by the time this party’s over.”

There it goes. Haechan wonders what’s so special about tonight that Jaemin’s been hinting at vaguely. It’s been keeping him on his toes, but he doesn’t ask because he knows Jaemin, and he isn’t going to tell him a thing. The one time this guy wants to keep something secret.

An hour flies by, and Haechan still hasn’t seen you. He’s looked for you, and refuses to believe his eyes are somehow missing you, even though you’re in a crowd. He literally went up the stars and gazed over the railing for a better view, and you were no where to be found. You’ve refused to answer your phone, too, and Haechan doesn’t know what to do. He would just start talking to some random chick, but that’s not what Haechan wants. He doesn’t want some random chick. He wants to be with you. Hold you. Touch you. Kiss you, with no shame, no fear, in front of everyone, and he isn’t in denial about it. He wants you.

And Jaemin is fed up.

“Alright, I’m tired of you moping around drinking like a divorced man. Let’s go to the kitchen,” Jaemin suggests. Or commands, but still.

Haechan quirks a brow. “Where there’s nothing but more drinks?”

“Trust me, I’m not letting you drink anymore tonight. You have a wife and a kid to drive home,” Jaemin jokes. Usually he’d deny any sort of relationship with you that isn’t best-friendship, but Haechan simply shakes his head, following his friend and roommate into the kitchen.

Then he sees you, and his jaw doesn’t just drop, but it falls flat on the ground, bounces a little, and comes back down. You’re clinging to Chenle’s side with a confused face, equally as surprised to see him, though not very delighted.

“What’s going on?”

“What’s going on?”

You stare at one another.

“Stop copying me!”

“Stop copying me!”

Jaemin and Chenle stare at one another, then stare at you two staring at one another, and stare at one another again.

“I hate to interrupt your… stare-off, but there’s a reason we brought you two here,” Jaemin interjects, making you two finally split gazes as you stare at him, confused.

“Which is?”

“Which is?”

You glare at him. Jaemin’s success was short-lived, it seems.

“Drum roll, please,” he says, and Chenle begins tapping against the counter, “Dohwan!”

Suddenly, Dohwan pops up from around the corner. He’s on the completely wrong side of the house, and while he’s under adult supervision, you still wonder why he’s here.

You blink. “What’s he doing here?”

Jaemin smirks. “I’m glad you asked. Dohwan tells me he’s witnessing some very interesting sights of the two of you. Go ahead and tell us what you saw, kiddo.”

“I saw Haechan and Auntie y/n kissing, like mommy and daddy do!” Dohwan shares, grimacing in disgust. If you weren’t practically fearing for your life right now, you’d probably laugh at his reaction.

“And how often do you see this?” Chenle adds.

“Um…” the kid ponders, “every time Auntie y/n comes over. I heard them say they wanted to keep it a secret from me, but they’re not very good at it.”

Haechan shoots you a panicked look, and you’re wearing the exact same one. By the time you realize that this is what Jaemin’s been hinting at this whole time, it’s much too late. Your secret has been exposed to the worst people ever, and now they’re definitely going to think you’re dating. 

“Thank you for your input, Dohwan,” Jaemin smiles, then turns to look at you and Haechan. You’re both frozen and stiff, unsure of how to respond. “So, anything to say about this?”

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Haechan’s quick to say. You hope no one catches the way your face falters with hurt for a split second. “If you want me to be honest, then fine, I will. Yeah, we kiss. We’ve been kissing since high school, but it didn’t mean anything then and it doesn’t mean anything now. We just, I don’t know, do it for fun.”

Chenle deadpans, “So you just kiss for pure, innocent fun.”

“Exactly,” Haechan nods. “It means nothing.”

It means something to me, you think to yourself, and when you notice the silence in the room, you gaze up to see everyone’s eyes on you, Haechan’s a little wide. Oh, fuck.

“I said that aloud, didn’t I?”

“Yep,” Jaemin grins. He was right. “Is there something you want to share with the class?”

Stupidly, you decide to look at Haechan, and he’s re-lost his composure, frozen up and stiff all over again. Your heart is pounding harder than it has been all night. It’s partially the alcohol, but you can feel it in your veins and all around you. It won’t leave you alone, and looking at Haechan, it’s faster, as if to say he’s the one I want.

So you choose to make another decision that you might possibly regret, but you have to get this off your chest. It isn’t news to anyone but Haechan anyways.

“Donghyuck,” you start, and he knows it’s getting serious because you just said his government name. You literally never call him by his government name. “I know we agreed to keep things platonic, and for it to mean nothing, but I want you. Like really, really bad. I think I—no, everyone’s right, I really am, extremely in love with you. If you don’t feel the same I understand, I just had to get this off my che—”

You aren’t given the chance to finish before Haechan swoops you in his arms, reaching for your waist as he pulls you into a kiss. There’s a chorus of cheers from Chenle and Jaemin, followed by a shriek of disgust from Dohwan as he covers his eyes, but you two aren’t trying to hide anymore, you want to scream from the rooftops that you’re in love. Yes, the infamous Lee Donghyuck and y/n know more than flirting and fucking. You’re in love, drunk off of a sip of it and the taste of Haechan’s lips, and god, has kissing your best friend never felt better.

“Let’s give the newlywed couple some privacy now,” Jaemin says with a grin. Gosh, he really is the spawn of Cupid, but you have to thank him. This wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t for his stupid ‘gotcha!’ plan. “You two work this out.”

The three of them pile out, and you and Haechan part from one another to breathe. You stay in comfortable silence for a moment, his hands slipping into yours.

“Your hands are sweating,” you comment after a while.

“It’s hot.”

“It’s the middle of February.”

“So? Global warming is real, you know,” Haechan shrugs, refusing to acknowledge the fact that his hand is sweating because he’s nervous. He’s accepted that you make him feel all warm inside and his heart feel like mush, but he still isn’t used to not hiding the way you make him feel.

You laugh but don’t press things. “Newlywed couple, huh. Can’t be, you still haven’t popped the question.”

“Yeah?” He laughs, too. “Then will you take my hand in marriage and take me as your illegally wedded husband?”

You hum, pretending to contemplate, “Hmm, I don’t know. You sure you don’t wanna marry a giant cardboard Tootsie Pop cutout? Or what about that girl? What happened to her, by the way, I thought you said you liked her.”

Haechan groans, not really wanting to think about her right now, “No more Hope. Ironically, she’s a lost cause. I had to cut shit with her because she can’t comprehend what a fling is. She wanted a relationship, and you know, I lied to you when I said that I might want her. I didn’t know you liked me back until, like, now, so I was just saying shit in hopes of convincing myself I could stop liking you. That planned failed, though.”

His words lift a massive weight off of your shoulders, and you finally feel like you can breathe now. Take that, bitch, you think with a smirk. She was giggling in your face so hard at the grocery store, but you’re having the last laugh.

You tilt your head. “What about the Tootsie Pops?”

“Yeah, sorry but I can’t give them up as easily. Would you mind a Tootsie Pop bouquet?”

Gosh, this is the man you love. You roll your eyes, but smile as you reply, “You know, you’re like a Tootsie Pop.”

If Haechan were a dog, his ears would perk up right now. “How come?”

“I’ll never know how long I’ll be able to kiss you without wanting to fuck you,” you lean in his ear to purr, voice tickling his neck. You eye it and his lips, and lord knows you can’t wait to finally be able to mark him up again.

“Yeah? Wanna go home, put Dohwan to sleep, and let me take this dress off you?” He grips at your waist, his hand resting there with the burning urge to dip lower. He bites his lip.

“Thought you drew the line at sticking your dick in me,” you joke.

“That was when I was in denial about wanting you,” Haechan whispers, “but now I can admit to myself that even though you amazing in this dress, I wanna take it off of you. Your body’s perfect.”

“I kinda hate the scar on my thigh.”

“Don’t. It provides depth to your character. It makes someone wonder how you got it, the story of how it happened,” he answers, ever so deeply.

“Poetic,” you snort, “can’t tell if you’re giving me Bruno Mars or John Legend vibes more right now.”

Haechan rolls his eyes, smiling. “You said you’d never know how long you’d be able to kiss me without dying to fuck me, right?”

“I never said dying.”

He ignores you, “Then let’s put it to the test, shall we?”

Your lips wind up pressed firmly to his, with your hands on his cheek and his palms on your hips yet again. It’s fiercer than ever, Haechan’s kissing you like he doesn’t want to let you breathe, like he wants to stay in this moment with you forever. He kisses you with love and lust, with passion and desire, with emotion and no more fear in his chocolate-y eyes. You don’t regret kissing Haechan that day. It took a while, but it brought you to this moment where you can finally call him yours. And that one more kiss stuff is bullshit. His lips are yours and vice versa, and as you’re by each other’s side, you’ll never stop kissing him. And he’ll never stop kissing you.

“They’re here!” Karina suddenly bursts into the kitchen, pointing at you and Haechan. “Look! I told you they were dating!”

Oh, god. You totally forgot about Karina’s stupid bet with Mark. Mark looks entirely devastated and surprised, devastated because that’s twenty-five bucks gone from his wallet, and surprised because he genuinely believed you and Haechan have been best friends this whole time. Technically, he isn’t wrong, but you’re not sure if you want to interrupt to tell them that.

Mark whines, “Oh, c’mon! I really thought you guys were just friends.”

“Pay up, loser,” Karina smirks, and with a pout, Mark pulls cash from his pockets.

Haechan looks at you, and while you don’t say anything, you can tell you’re both thinking the exact same thing. The whole campus is about to know you two are dating. Karina’s for sure going to tell everyone she knows, hell, probably even people she doesn’t know, and there’s a ninety-nine point nine percent chance of Jaemin raining your business on everyone in his latest report for the school newspaper.

You can’t say that you care, though. This is what you wanted, to unashamedly love Haechan, to be able to state it proudly in front of everyone, to let everyone know, to claim him as yours and yours only. So fuck Cupid. Fuck his bow, fuck his arrow, because this relationship is all a product of you and Haechan’s hard work and dedication.

Who needs Cupid’s bow when you have tasty lips and Tootsie-Pops?

“You’re telling me you’ve been in love with me for the past four years? Oh, you’re a soldier. I would have given up in the first month.”

You snort. Part of becoming Haechan’s girlfriend is the process of telling one another the secrets you’ve been keeping, such as how long you can been in love. Haechan’s been in love with you for a solid year, he thinks, maybe two, but it’s been almost four years for you, on the other hand.

“If only it were that easy,” you sigh. “Trust me, I tried getting over you by getting under other people—how Jessie Reyez of me—but that didn’t work out, obviously.”

“You are too much like me,” Haechan shakes his head. “What made you think we should anyways?”

“You mean, four years ago, or now?”

Haechan shrugs. “Either. Give me three reasons.”

“Oh, brace yourself. I could do a presentation on this. One, we know each other’s McDonald’s orders. Two, like you said, we’re very alike. When have we ever argued over pizza toppings?” You reason. “Three, I can’t imagine kissing anybody else. I mean, we’ve basically been practicing on each other for the past four years. I’m the reason you can kiss so good, it would insane for you make out with other people. Four, I have a fat ass and sometimes I catch you staring at—”

“I said three reasons!” Haechan cries, face blooming red as a rose.

“I could go for a fifth,” you grin, “we’re both terrible at math.”

“Damn right we are,” he mutters. “But that’s what makes us… us, isn’t it? The only reason we’re dating right now is because we couldn’t resist kissing each other after one time.”

He’s right. It practically only took one kiss to fall in love with Haechan. He’s giving you major Dua Lipa vibes right now.

“I know you’re thinking about that Dua Lipa song right now.”

You smirk. “You know me very well.”

He tilts his head. “And what else are you thinking about?”

“That you look like all I need,” you say in tune, making Haechan laugh. “And I just want to feel your skin on mine.”

“Then we should do something about that, right?” Haechan smirks back.

You’re kissing the smirk right off his lips seconds later, and this is where you decide that you just can’t get enough of him. Even if one kiss is all it takes, you’re greedy for more, and more, and more, until both your lips are swollen and you’re both gasping for air.

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 10: The One About the Audibly Loud Lukola FanFic

I’ll address the elephant in the room. And, no, I’m not talking about Jake Dunn’s brown suit! Or, that he’s posing with a man. Or, that Tyler commented “Bellissimo!!!!” on Jake's post.

I don’t think a lot of people understood the connection I was making this morning about “Mis-Directed,” Gwilym Lee, and Jake.  So, now I feel the need to explain because I don’t want people running with a narrative that goes in the opposite direction of where I was taking it.

Sorry, JVN, you’re getting pushed to the side again. I promise, I’ll get to you one day.

Let’s go back two months…

On September 25, Nicola posted to her Instagram stories a link to Alex Babsky’s post, which was a picture of Nicola. She had her hair and make-up done but she was wearing one of her own dresses (the black dress she wore in Australia and Brazil). Babsky captioned his post “[pink bow] @nicolacoughlan in London today for…well, never mind what for actually [laughing emoji with hand over mouth] [winking emoji] [shushing emoji].” Nicola responded, “You’re amazing it was so gorgeous to see you xxx.”

Babksy’s caption sent the fandom into hysteria wondering what the hell Nicola was up to. It didn’t help that this was the same day Luke updated his Instagram bio and used “Xx” and it didn’t help that Nicola was wearing the black dress she allegedly wore on her beach walk in Brazil with Luke.

Do you want to know what I thought the photo of Nicola was from? I’m not going to lie – I thought it was pre-wedding makeup. Seriously, not kidding. It reminded me of my own wedding day. Formal hair and makeup and my own dress that was easy to take off without messing up the hair and makeup. I never said I wasn’t a little bit delulu.

On November 5, an author named Lucy Parker announced on her Instagram feed that she had a new Audible book called “Mis-Directed” being released in February 2025. The post came with pictures of Nicola wearing the black dress and the same hair and makeup as the September 25 post. Nicola (presumably) is reading the part of Hattie Murton, and Gwilym Lee (presumably) is reading the part of Anthony Rafe.

Oh, okay.

Turns out, I was wrong.

So, Nicola and Luke didn’t get married.

Fine.

I have always liked crows.

But, wait a minute – what the fuck is this Audible book about? A woman who stars in a romantic drama called “Leicester Square” (what the fuck?) which was adapted from a best-selling romance novel (what the fuck??). Then, in comes our antagonist, Anthony Rafe, who plays opposite of Hattie and, let me quote here, “But when very real chemistry sparks during their scripted love scenes, Hattie begins to think the industry’s legendarily heartless Bad Guy [Anthony] might just a have a pulse after all. And Anthony, for his part, is caught off-guard by the way his heart races when he’s around his aggravating onscreen lover. As reality starts to imitate art a little too close for comfort, the world’s most unlikely couple might just have more in common than they thought…” (what the fuck???).

Let’s start with Leicester Square. What the hell is Leicester Square? Oh, the name of the fake television show on which Hattie and Anthony star. Sure, Jan. Is it odd to anyone else that Leicester Square is the name of the location of where the London premiere of Bridgerton Season 3 took place? You know, the event that happened hours before Papsmear.

Then we have the make-believe show being adapted from a best-selling romance novel. Mmm hmm.

Let’s try and not make the connection between Luke and Anthony. Mmm hmm.

And, let’s add fuel to the fire and have two co-stars falling in love with each other.

Yeah, we get it. It’s a Lukola FanFic being read by none other than Nicola. I mean, the only way it could be any better is if Luke was reading the part of Anthony Rafe! But, no, that part is being read by Gwilym Lee (who is fantastic in everything he does, by the way).

Who is Gwilym Lee? Well, he’s an actor (my father calls him “Midsomer”). Ask Mr. Google about him. But, if you check out his Instagram feed, you will find that he knows Jake and has since, at least, 2022. Is it possible that Nicola met Gwilym through Jake? Yeah, it is.

Now, why do I find this situation intriguing? Specifically, why did I find the post from Jake this morning posing with Gwilym interesting (and a bit shady)? Let me explain.

The Jakholes took the “Mis-Directed” FanFic as shade towards the Lukolas. Yes, they went there because that FanFic does not (in the least) fit nicely into their Jakola narrative. I mean, if it wasn’t shade to the Lukolas, how weird the storyline must have been for Jake! The writing was audibly on the wall, in big red letters, but the Jakholes chose to spin it into something messier than my hair in the morning after sleeping on it wet.

What exactly is this theory? Well, per the Jakholes, Nicola hates the Lukola fandom so much that she sat and read (likely, for hours) this Lukola-coded FanFic just to spite us! I mean, Anthony is a bad boy in this story and “everyone loves to hate” him (don’t forget, Luke became the devil incarnate after Papsmear). And, Hattie is tired of the “brutal press, overly invested fans, and a cutthroat industry…[that] would give even Pollyanna an edge of cynicism.” The Jakholes believe this means Nicola is saying she’s really in love with Jake and she wants us all to know that by reading a Harlequin-style romance about a woman who falls in love with her costar! Oh, my God!! How could she?!

What in the actual fuck are the Jakholes drinking with this bullshit? I know, I know. I shouldn’t expect anything better from people who ship Jake with Nicola. In fact, if I was a Jakhole, I might buy into this conspiracy theory. But, I’m not a fucking Jakhole. And, guess what Jakholes? I don’t mind breaking the hearts of Lukolas by saying we’re probably never going to see sexy-hot Brazil pictures of Luke and Nicola, so I don’t mind telling Jakholes to put this theory back into Davy Jones’ locker and feed it to that bitch Kraken.

Let’s talk a bit further about the absurdity of this “Nicola is shading Lukola” subplot from Hell.

We will pretend Nicola hates Luke. She hates Lukola. She baits the Lukola fandom for shits and giggles.

What would this make Nicola?

It would make her a villain, for starters (and “villain” is me being extremely nice).

More importantly, it would make Nicola a PR nightmare.

Even if Nicola and Luke despised each other, do you believe Netflix, Bridgerton, and Shonda Land would allow Nicola to play games with the Lukola fandom? Talk about playing with fire!

The reality is the lines between Polin and Lukola are heavily blurred at this point. I hate to say it – and maybe a lot of you will view me as a complete asshole after I say this – but, if I learned Nicola was shading the Lukolas (therefore, in my opinion, trolling Luke), I would not be interested in Bridgerton Season 4. Or, Season 5. Or, any season after that. Or, in Nicola, for that matter. You’re welcome to have your own opinion about this but I would feel incredibly betrayed, and not just by Nicola. On top of that, for me, Polin has become Lukola. They’re so blurred, they don’t even resemble a line anymore. Maybe that’s a bad position to be in, but that’s where I’m at. Sorry, not sorry.

I’m not going to rehash the breadcrumbs left by Nicola that support Lukola – if you know, you know (or you can catch up by spending an afternoon on Tumblr). Even Luke, in his own way, leaves Lukola-coded crumbs. We also have damn convincing evidence that Netflix, Bridgerton, and Shonda Land support Lukola. I mean, even they’re blurring the lines with “Nicola and Luke’s Cutest Moments” and interestingly timed images of Polin. So, do you think they’re going to let Nicola fuck with that on a public forum?

That would be a cold, hard NO.

But, this Audible book – “Mis-Directed” – is loud and made louder because Nicola is reading it.

So, what is this Audible book? Shade? Or, Nicola being cutesy? I’m going to place my bets on the latter solely because, like I said, the Corporate Office is not going to let Nicola shade Lukola because it has a direct effect on Polin.

That’s not to say that the excitement of this Lukola-coded “Mis-Directed” FanFic wasn’t attacked by the Jakholes from all sides, and the wind – for the moment – was kicked out of it. That’s a different story for a different day.

But, what I found so intriguing about Jake’s post today is that, of all the people he could have included in his photo (because there’s obviously lots of people at this event), he chose Gwilym. And, this means people will look into Gwilym. People will realize that Gwilym is the other side of “Mis-Directed.” People will realize Jake and Gwilym are friends. People will realize that Jake’s friend is reading a Lukola-themed romance novel with Nicola.

And, if we agree that the book is not shade towards the Lukolas and we agree that Jakola is not real, what is the significance of the connection between Jake and Gwilym? Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe I’m overthinking it. But, the connection – at least in my mind (and it’s been there since November 5) – is that Jake supports “Mis-Directed” because he supports Lukola and he has always been there, helping Nicola lay the breadcrumbs. He wanted people to look into Gwilym and make the connection. Jake could very well be the one who suggested Gwilym read the part of Anthony. Jake is the degree of separation.

I want to close this out by noting that Jake also liked the post Nicola has pinned on her Instagram grid – the black and white one about her Time 100 article. You know, the one where Nicola says, “A lot of people really want me to marry Luke.” Follow the links and it will take you to this article. That’s an interestingly placed like by Jake, in my opinion – as is his photo op with Gwilym.

[doitforbangchan]

All Bark and No Bite 06

The moment so many have been waiting for...

Also! I will no longer be accepting new ppl for the taglist for this series! If you wish to be alerted when i drop a new chapter you may choose to be notified when i post! Thank you :)

Masterlist

Series masterlist

Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8

ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe

Previous - Next

Series Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, verryyyy nsfw, chan x reader, OT8 x reader, A/B/O, m/m/f smut, possessive! SKZ, possessive! Reader, anxiety and depression, reader is a CRYBABY, fluff, angst, virgin!reader,  cursing, violence, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, Sub reader x mostly dom SKZ, misogyny and sexism, Ateez are depicted as terrible people (sorry Atiny!) 

Chapter Warnings: Crying, nsfw content, Smut, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, fingering, mating, biting, begging, blood play(?), blood in mouths, reader is in heat, super possesive! Chan, knotting, angst, anxiety, cursing, tension in the pack, yelling, drama, Lee know being a dick

WC: 4.1k

MDNI 18+

Disclaimer: The names and faces used here are just that, names and faces, and in no way reflect the real people the characters were designed after. The views and actions of these characters do not reflect the real Stray Kids in any way shape or form. This is all for fun let’s keep it that way please. 

You were dying. You were sure of it. The fire you felt in your body was killing you. You didn’t even register it when Chan gently placed you on his bed, suddenly overcome with the pure scent of him. 

“Alpha…It hurts.” your words coming out slurred.

He was by your side, one hand running through your hair, the other keeping a steady grip on the mattress- to keep himself grounded so as to not to do anything rash. 

“M’ here Omega. It’s gonna be ok.” His pupils were dilated the biggest they have ever been. 

“Hurts so much Alpha. Please please make it stop.” You were pleading -begging- him to make it better. There was one thing in particular you wanted. One word playing in your head on a loop. 

Knot

Knot 

Knot 

Over and over again, it was making you delirious. 

Your whole body was on fire. Boiling  through your bloodstream and radiating out of your skin. So hot you couldn’t breathe, the flames engulfing your lungs. I guess that's why they call it a heat. 

Chan had been excited to work you through your first heat together, he just thought he would have more time beforehand. No time like the present, though. 

“I’ll help you, omega. Your alpha will always help his sweet omega.” He cooed at you, his body slowly moving over yours, caging you under his built frame. 

The second he was settled over you, your arms shot up and forcefully pulled the back of his head down, capturing his lips against your own. Chan let out a grunt of surprise, not expecting this shy girl to be the one to take the lead. It’s not his style, but he would let you have it this one time. He would have plenty of time to train you later. 

You lifted your hips, looking for that bit of friction- any bit you could get. At the brush of your hips against his own Chan let out an almost inhuman growl. If anyone else had heard him let out that sound they would have pissed their pants, it was so deep coming from a place inside of him he didn’t even know existed . 

He let you grind into him while he savored the taste of your mouth. Your whimpers like music to his ears. When he had his fill of your mouth (tho really he never will) he sat up and hastily removed his shirt from his body then literally tearing into your tee shirt ripping the garment in half. He was more than eager to see all of his pretty omega. Your pants were next to go, seeing the same fate as your shirt and joining it on the ground. 

“Alpha.” There was that begging tone again, “Knot. Need it.” 

“Fuck baby. Ok ok Alphas gotcha” He shimmied out of his own bottoms, throwing his pants and boxers to the floor beneath. 

To say Chan was good looking was an understatement. He was the most gorgeous man you had ever seen. His whole body toned from his years of discipline, his muscles rippling as you rake your nails across his abs. His cocky smirk gave his face a boyish charm but his sharp teeth reminded you he was a predator. 

And you were his prey. 

“Oh pretty girl. You have no idea of the naughty things I want to do to you.” He licked his teeth. 

“W-wan’ it Alpha. Wan’ it all from you.” Your words still slurring together in your plight. You would give him anything he wants. Your mind, body and soul - all of you, just MAKE IT STOP. 

Chan couldn’t hold back any longer, your words causing his self control to snap. His hands gripped your body, fully allowing himself to grind against your sex drawing helpless moans from you. 

Yes 

Yes 

YES

It felt so good, but it was not enough. You needed more. 

The alpha gripped you by the face then placed his finger against your bottom lip before slowly inserting the digit into your open mouth. He pressed down on your tongue as he collected the saliva that was accumulating, then pulled it out of your mouth and brought it down to your pussy. 

Chan used the finger to swipe through your wetness, the immediate sounds of your slick filling the air. 

“Fuck Baby you’re so fucking wet. Who made you like this, Omega?” He asked rhetorically. 

More tears escaped you, “A-alpha. Always you, my alpha.” 

Chan inserted his long finger into you, a wet gasp escaping you at the intrusion. Now it was his turn to moan. You were just so tight. Fuck, how was his cock going to fit? He would make it fit. 

“So good. Need more, Alpha. Need your knot.” Your eyes were pleading. Chans mouth left stray kisses down your chest, coming to your breasts where he took one of your nipples between his teeth, giving it a sharp tug. You felt a strike of pain at his actions, but it also felt so good- to be touched by him. 

“Mmm are you sure Omega?” He teased between bites, alternating between the two mounds. 

‘Perfect for feeding our children’ Chan could see it now, you with your breasts full of milk, leaking all over the place while you waddle around the house, his baby growing inside of you. The thought alone could make a grown man cry. 

“Yes!” You humped into his harder in response. 

“Ok baby. Alpha will give you what you want.” 

Chan grabbed his cock in his hand and rubbed the tip through your slick, collecting some of the drippage, before slowly pushing into you. 

The moan you let out was one of pure ecstasy.  Never in your life had you had something so big inside of you before. If you thought you were seeing stars before, it was nothing compared to now. Your nails found purchase in his shoulder blades, the indents turning red at how hard you pressed into him. 

“Nnnngggg '' Chan isn't faring any better. Since the moment he smelled you he had wanted to take you this way. 

“N-n-need you, alpha.” You choked out through sobs of pleasure. 

Chan buried his face into your neck, breathing heavy in your ear.

“Tell me you’ve never done this before, Omega. Tell me no other man has ever touched you like this. That no one else has taken you this way.” Chan needed you to say it, to feed his ego. 

“Tell me I’m the only one. Then I will give you all of me.” He nipped at the skin on your neck, so close to your mating gland. 

You answered without hesitation, “Only you, Alpha. Never anyone else. Only you.”

At your confession Chan growled, something absolutely primal escaping his body. The need to mark you as his feeding into his frenzy. He brought his hips back as far as he could, letting his tip just barely leave your hole, before thrusting into you harshly, his hips snapping into yours with vigor. 

“Fuccckkkk, Alpha. Please, please, please” You didn’t know what you were begging for, just that you couldn’t stop. The sound of your slick filled the room, as well as the smell of your combined scents. The liquid was literally dripping out of you, coating both your thighs and Chans balls. There was no room to care, though. Not with the way he was fucking you so nicely. His cock fit perfectly inside, filling every inch as if he was made for you. He was. 

His movements didn't slow at your whines, in fact they only increased. He was pounding into you like a rabid animal, letting you draw your pleasure from his body and in return feeding his primal urges. 

“ Gonna claim you Omega. Gonna let everyone know who you belong too.” He looked into your eyes for any hint of an objection but found none. You were too far gone to respond but somehow managed to nod your head, baring your neck in submission, waiting for him to claim his prize. 

At your submission Chans’ eyes glazed over and he opened his mouth to reveal those sharp canines. No more warning was given as he dove right for your neck, his teeth slotting over your mating gland and biting down. Hard. 

The sensation was otherworldly. You thought it would hurt, preparing for the pain that never came. Instead all you felt was intoxicating love. You felt loved, and wanted, and cared for. Like everything Chan felt for you was pouring out of him and into you. Without warning you came around his length, fluids spraying out of you and coating Chan's abdomen. 

The alpha released his hold on your neck after a few seconds, his tongue smoothing over the bloody mark left behind. His thrusts never faltered still, his driving into you gaining intensity as he neared his own release. Once your neck stopped dripping he pulled back from your neck, his lips covered in your blood. He pushed himself back on his haunches and hoisted your hips up further, his grip bruising your hips. 

Chan was panting as he spoke “ I am never letting you go. I have ruined you for anyone else. This pack is all you need, all you’ll ever need. Soon you won’t be able to breathe without us, Omega.” 

You had completely succumbed into a subspace, floating through nothing and everything all at once. You’re only thoughts consisting of him. 

“Wanna bite…” You mumbled out. “Wanna claim my Alpha.” The words were escaping you without you even registering you said them. 

Chans felt his knot start to inflate and he leaned down once more, “Do it. Claim me, Omega.”

In your daze your teeth found his neck and you bit down, his blood now filling your mouth. 

As your teeth sunk into him, Chan came inside of you. His knot inflated fully now, keeping him from thrusting any further, holding him against you. 

“Fuck, fuck fuck! Perfect little omega, love you so much.” 

His cum filled every crevice inside of you, coating you completely and spilling out around his cock. It was pure warmth. You were sure you would never tire of this feeling. 

When Chan had given you every last drop he tried to catch his breath, his lungs feeling like he ran 10 miles at full speed. 

You were slowly coming out of that mind space, now needing the comfort only your alpha could offer. You brought your hands up to rest on his cheeks, and inched your face closer to his until your mouths met again. The blood both of you had on your mouths mixing together on your lips, the taste of iron taking over completely. It wasn’t an unwelcome taste, but something about it felt dirty. Dirtier than the act the both of you had partaken in mere seconds before. 

Chan was the first one to pull back, you whining trying to keep his lips locked on yours. 

“Enough of that, Omega. Gotta’ make sure you're ok.” He gently rolled your head to the side to take a peep at the bite left behind. He let out a low whistle, “fuck, got you pretty good. M’ sorry baby.” He peppered kisses all over your face as an apology. 

“It’s ok alpha. Wanted you too.” Your clarity was returning to you slowly, your heat having been satiated for the time being. His thick knot kept you close to him. Suddenly all of your past actions were flooding your brain, the humility creeping on to you and you hid your face in his chest, a quiet sob emanating. 

Chan gave a noise of shock and the sudden appearance of your tears. Though he shouldn’t be surprised. His sweet girl seemed like she was always crying. Still, he had to make sure you were ok. 

“Aww baby, why the tears, huh?”

“M’ so so sorry, Alpha.” You sniffled, words muffled by his skin. 

“Sorry for what my love?” He was genuinely confused. 

You sniffed a few more times , trying to catch your breath before responding. “I’m sorry I acted that way… before with the other boys. I had no control over my own body, it just came on so suddenly. I know that’s no excuse but I really am so so sorry Chan. I would understand if you didn’t want me anymore. No one would want a sloppy Omega.” 

Your words filled him with a fury, harshly gripping your cheeks and turning your eyes to meet his own. 

“Did I say I didn’t want you, Omega?” You shook your head the best you could in his grip. “Then why would you think such a thing? I don’t blame you for what went down. I know you’re a sweet, shy little baby. And sweet girls would never behave that way on their own volition” Not yet anyways. 

The alpha gave you a quick peck. “No one will blame you or be mad. Especially not me. So stop saying shit like that. Like I already said - I am never letting you go. You are my true mate, were made for me. You belong to me now. Right omega?” He used your head to nod up and down. 

It was a possessive statement, and would have made any sane person want to run for the hills, but for some reason it just made you wet again. 

“Yes Alpha.” You whispered in lust, the intensity starting to return,  “I belong to you.”

--------------------------------------

The pack members took shelter at what they called the ‘safehouse’. It was a small apartment sized home at the very edge of the property. They used it when one of the alphas went into a rut or if one of the members just needed some space for some reason. The space wasn’t really suited for more than one, maybe two, people at most. But it was this or camping and at least this place had a small kitchen and bathroom. 

There was tension amongst the guys. A lot of them replayed the events of the day in their own minds. It had been a few hours since the incident. In his shame, Jeongin locked himself in the bathroom refusing to come out no matter how much Hyunjin had begged. Hyunjin, Felix and Seungmin had been filled in by a teary eyed Jisung. 

Jisung was in a daze. He had been sitting on the porch since they arrived, just gazing out into the trees that surrounded the estate. The crystal tears every once in a while cascading down his rounded cheeks. He felt like it was all his fault. You were with him when you went into heat. You were with him when Jeongin went for you. Fuck, it was him that took you straight for the young alpha. ‘I should have warned Jeongin. I should have called him and told him to get the fuck out of the house.’ 

The first thing Jeongin did when he got to the safehouse was lock himself in the bathroom and take the hottest shower possible, he needed to rid himself of your scent. Needed to scrub you off his skin, if he didn’t he was sure it would cause an early rut. That is the last thing he needed right now. The boy was filled with deep shame. ‘I can’t believe I acted like that’ he rested his head against the shower tile. ‘How will I ever face Chan again?’ He truly didn’t know what to do, so he will do the only thing he can do right now. Stand here under the cooling water, and wallow in his mortification. 

Minho, on the other hand, was fuming. To him all of this ordeal was avoidable. Aren’t omegas supposed to be able to sense their heats coming? And how convenient it was that you happened to have said heat almost as soon as you got there. To their home. A home full of unmated men. 

Chan had also filled him in the night prior, about Hongjoong and you being promised to him. Something about all these circumstances didn’t sit right with the beta. He didn't hate you, he knew deep inside that you had no ill will, he's pretty good at sensing that kind of thing in people. Minho just can’t help but be defensive over his pack. And is wary of things disrupting the peace within his pack. He isn’t an alpha, but Minho can be protective like one. He had tried to comfort Jeongin but the alpha had made it clear he didn’t want to be bothered at all. It was breaking Minho's heart. 

Changbin was outside trying to exercise the stress away. He felt the best option for him was to sweat your smell off of him. Really, working out was his answer for everything. He was fairing well enough, though there was a little part of his brain itching with the knowledge there was a pretty omega in heat not too far away. Best to ignore that little bit of information. 

The three remaining betas were at a loss for what to do. It seemed like everyone else was in their own little worlds, replaying what had happened over and over. Felix was trying to cook something up for the pack. His motto is food fixes everything so that's what he will do!

 Hyunjin had eventually given up on his mission to comfort Jeongin, his pleading being in vain, so his next target was Jisung. Hyunjin skittered outside and crawled into Jisungs lap, bear hugging the younger man. The moment Jisung registered the warmth he broke into a sob- burying his face into Hyunjin. “Its ok Sungie. That must have been a lot for you to handle by yourself.” Jisung nodded, the hiccups beginning. “You did such a good job, you got her home safe. You know that means the world to Chan.” At the mention of their leader Jisung cried harder. 

“It’s my fault, Hyun.” Hyunjin shook his head to disagree but Jisung continued “ I should have warned Innie. I could have called him or something.” 

“Nobody blames you Sung. Not a single person in this pack would dare put you at fault for anything. You did right by your pack. Chan trusted you with her and you did what you had too. When we eventually go back home I know he will tell you the same thing.” 

That seemed to perk up the younger beta, the tears coming to a slow stop. “Y-you think so, hyung?” 

Hyunjin nodded without hesitation. “Absolutely. It will be alright.” Jisung nodded along, hugging the older boy tighter. 

Seungmin was sitting on the small sofa in the living room, observing Minho who sat a few feet away scrolling on his phone with a scowl upon his face. Seungmin wondered if now was a good time to ask just what Minhos' problem had been. It was obvious something had crawled up the elders ass but Seungmin wanted to know what. Yeah the events of today are mildly inconvenient, of course he would rather have his own bed versus an air mattress but it's really not a big deal. And Jeongin would get over it soon enough. So what was Minho's problem? 

“So what’s your deal?” 

“Huh?” Minho looked up from his phone with a confused expression. 

“I mean, I know this kinda sucks and was a shitty situation but something has been up with you since yesterday sooooooo…” Seungmin gestured with his hands for Minho to explain himself. 

The elder beta rolled his eyes, “Nothing is wrong Seungmin. It’s been a stressful day, is all.” 

“Yeah fucking right. What about yesterday? When you called Y/n a ‘situation’?” He used air quotes around ‘situation’ for emphasis. 

‘Dammit, I should have worded it better then to avoid this shit.’ Minho thought bitterly. 

“Well if you can’t fucking tell Seungmin, she has become quite the situation now, hasn’t she? Look at what happened to poor Jeongin! Not to mention Han and Changbin.” Minho had been trying to keep his voice down but couldn’t help the slight raise. 

Seungmin scoffed, “They will all be fine. Those guys are more resilient than you think they are. It was a learning experience for everyone - next time will be different.” 

“Maybe next time she can give us a fucking warning.” Minho mumbled, not intending for seungmin to hear. He did anyway. 

“So you’re gonna blame her? She just met her true mate, not to mention all the stress she’s been in ya know , having to flee her fucking entire life. So yeah I imagine her hormones are all over the place.” 

The elder beta stood in fury, “How are you just so ok with all of this?! How has none of what’s occurring bothered you?!” 

“Why would our leader -our alpha-finding his mate bother me? Why would it bother me to know we now have the missing piece of our pack? I have no issues with her. Hell, I even like her. And I can say pretty confidently that the other guys like her too. So it seems the stick is only up your ass, Minho.” Seungmin stood too, he started this argument and he won’t back down. 

It seems both guys forgot Felix was a few feet away, listening to the entire conversation with baited breath. 

He had a bad feeling this would escalate if he didn’t get involved. The small beta appeared between the two with his hands up to diffuse the tension. 

“That’s enough from you two!” Felix was trying not to tremble at his own assertiveness. 

“Felix this doesn’t concern you.” Minho tried to shoo him away. 

“My pack mates are fighting, of course it concerns me.” Felix turned to Seungmin now “Why don’t you take a walk, please. Go clear your head.” Felix gave him pleading eyes. 

Seungmin looked like he wanted to refuse but only gave a sigh and a nod before calmly walking out the door, but making a show of letting it slam behind him. 

Minho let out a breath when the younger boy had exited. Felix now had turned his attention to only Minho. “ Can we have a calm discussion about what exactly made you feel like this, min?” 

Minho sighed, plopping back into his chair and putting his head in his hands. 

“It’s not that easy, Lix. There’s so much going on in here I don’t even know where to begin.” 

Felix being the sweet boy he is, came to sit on the armrest beside the older boy, and began to rub his back in comforting circles. “ You can tell me anything. I could tell since yesterday you haven’t been yourself. I just wanna help you Min.” 

At his words Minho unloaded all his thoughts and feelings onto Felix. Every doubt, every concern, all of it. Felix listened intently, letting Min get out everything that he has been holding on too. 

“I see where you’re coming from. It’s a big sudden change for our pack. And it definitely comes with some challenges. But it’s nothing we can’t handle.” Felix was trying to help as much as he could. “I really think once we get past this hurdle, our pack will be more unified than ever!”

“Don’t take this the wrong way Felix, but I feel like you're only saying that because you want a turn with her next.” Minho griped. 

Felix looked hurt for a second but didn’t let it faze him much. “Hyung, if you got to know her I think you’d change your tune. I got to spend some real time with her yesterday and from what I've seen she is actually really great. I’m not going to sit here and lie and say there’s not an urge for me to sleep with her because there is, but if she wasn’t an omega I know I would feel the same way about her.” Felix leaned into Minho. “All I’m asking is that you give her a chance. Don’t let this one slip up ruin your relationship with her. If not for me then at least try for Chan. He’s a good leader to us and he deserves your effort.” 

Minho knew Felix was right. He didn’t want to admit it but the younger beta spoke some sense into him. There was one thing still bothering him, though. 

“What about if the Ateez pack comes for her?” 

Felix didn’t seem worried, “If they come for our omega, they will see just how strong our pack is. They won’t lay a finger on our girl.” 

“Chan would kill them first.” They spoke in unison, then looked at each other and burst into laughter. 

A/N: Finallyyyyy getting into the dirty stuff!! Also I sincerely apologize for the angst :'), it gets better!! at some point.. Thank you for reading!

Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

©doitforbangchan

Taglist - closed

@chxnb97 / @butterflydemons / @zaggprincess2 / @stellasays45 /@uhhheather/ @walnutspie /  @a-mistake-tbh / @meowmeeps / @realrintaro / @ihrtlix / @raehawthorne / @juskz / @freckleboilix/ @marvelsmarauder / @0325tiny / @iyeeeverydee / @stars-garden / @boi-bi-ahaha/ @gini143/ @queenmea604 /  @palindrome969 / @f9clementine/ @theysaidhush/ @kpophosblog/ @usercaiskz/ @honeym0chi/ @nobody3210/ @changbinswife10789  @5starluvr @usercaiskz/ @neyangi / @jiminssluttyminx / @ayejaii/ @iknowleeknow/ @jeonginnieswifey/ @catlove83/ @upsidedownchaire/ @emmxxsworld/ @manuosorioh/ @igetcarriedawaywithyou/ @blondechanni/ @woozixo/ @ilovejeongin007/ @yaorzu-blog/ @theydy-madamonsieur/ @jehhskz/ @feybin/ @rylea08/ @sebastianswhore13/ @kihyuns-military-wife/ @luvyev/ @xx3rachaslutxx/ @hahhahahjakakla/ @skzstaykatsy/ @zerefdragn33l 

[leaderwonim]

𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐘 — fourteen: because you tolerated me

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. lee heeseung x fem!reader, park sunghoon x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲. Y/N always knew that her high school was dominated by wealth and privilege. Upon having a one night stand with popular athlete Lee Heeseung, she uncovers that Heeseung's friend group controls not only social dynamics but also school policies and local affairs, revealing a hidden world of power and manipulation behind their so called perfectly polished exteriors

author’s note: wrote this at 11pm and just finished at 12:25am 😭 my roommate told me to head to bed but i haaaaad to update for you guys so!!! enjoy the lore, hopefully it’s not too confusing ??

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Hanni isn’t so sure what to do. On one hand, she thinks she hates your guts, but on the other, she knows that she really doesn’t.

In fact, Pham Hanni had lived across from you at the ripe age of three, your moms having shared the same apartment complex. Hanni hated everything about that place, it was poorly managed, and quite frankly, cheap.

“Nini!” Little you yelled, your chubby baby hands reaching out for the girl in front of you. “Nini!”

You never knew her actual name because you were so young, referring to her only as Nini.

Hanni loved playing with you, she would beg her mom to bring over some spoiled bread they had in the pantry to pretend to play tea party and eat.

By the time Hanni turned six, her father took custody of her. Her father worked under a man named Park Hyunwook, and that was where she met Park Seojun.

He was a fairly skinny boy, but he made himself look charming nonetheless. Seojun took Hanni under his wing whenever her dad was busy in his father’s company, and soon enough, the two of them became best friends.

They became close to the point where that he made sure his father secured a spot in Decelis for Hanni.

“I’ll quit football if you don’t do it,” he threatened, which earned him a painful slam into the door by his own father.

It worked, though.

Hanni met Jungwon in her sophomore year of high school. He was a cute, rather calm composed boy who reminded her so much of a cat. She swore she fell inlove in an instant.

They talked for quite a while, and eventually, Jungwon did ask Hanni to be his girlfriend.

He stumbled upon Seojun and her hugging after class, and even though Hanni swore to her heart that it was platonic, the younger boy wasn’t having any of it.

So she spilled it out. She told him why they were hugging—of course she did—she loved Jungwon, how could she let her relationship just go down the drain like that?

“My dad’s threatening to pull me out of Decelis if I don’t tell my mom to stop contacting him.” She explained, and Jungwon didn’t understand what Seojun had to do with it.

Turns out, Seojun’s father was the one paying the tuition. If she was pulled out of Decelis, she would never see any of her friends ever again.

“Well, I don’t care if you’re rich or not Han, I love you.”

Despite Yang Jungwon promising his love to her, all Seojun could think about was how scandalous it could be if word ever got out that his father was paying for Hanni’s spot when millions of scholarship kids were still waiting.

So he killed him. Pushed him off a cliff. Seojun wasn’t a monster���maybe he was an awful person—but that didn’t mean he hated Jungwon. He just couldn’t risk it. His reputation was far way more important than some guy his friend was dating.

Besides, Hanni was a pretty girl. She’d find loads of boyfriends by the time Jungwon was gone.

“Are you listening to me? Hello?”

Heeseung waves a hand in front of your face, a playful smile comes to his face when he sees you snap out of your daze.

“Sorry,” you say. “I was just…”

He looked over at your direction, sighing when he sees Sunghoon and Hanni all close to each other. “Looking at the newly inlove couple? Yeah, I know.”

“Inlove is a reach.”

Heeseung shrugs. “I just want class to end so I can take you out for dinner.”

You practically choke at his confident tone. “We made up literally a few days ago.”

“So? I mean it when I say you’re important to me, Y/N.”

Any girl in your spot would’ve dropped dead at Lee Heeseung practically melting in a puddle in your presence.

“You should smile more,” Sunghoon says from the table across yours, his hands coming under Hanni’s chin to smush her two cheeks together.

She slaps his arm away, annoyed. “You’re lucky Seojun didn’t kill you.”

Sunghoon grows tense at that, his eyebrows furrowed. “What did you say to me?”

“Nothing.”

Danielle grows uncomfortable in her seat, her eyes dashing around the room. “How’s home life Hanni?”

Hanni shrugs, stabbing her fork into the mushy mashed potatoes the school had served. “Nothing better than before.”

She wanted to cry so badly in her seat. But if anyone had caught onto the tears that were forming at the edge of her eyes, she would lose the reputation she so desperately worked hard to maintain.

“Excuse me.” She hurriedly rushed off. Sunghoon stands up after her, but Danielle places a hand in front of him.

“Just let her be Hoon.”

And who was Sunghoon to argue with Danielle?

She practically grows limp as she reaches the end of the empty corridor, far away from the cafeteria. Her mascara is probably smudged like crazy, and she doesn’t even want to think about how insane she might look to a passerby.

“Are you okay?” You don’t register the crying girl as Hanni at first. You had just bid goodbye to Heeseung and dropped him off at his business management class, so you were in a rush to get to your class before your teacher gave you detention.

“Just leave me alone.”

Your eyes widened. “Hanni?”

Hanni never felt more embarrassed in her entire life. She didn’t even know why she was crying so hard.

Sunghoon, despite always being around her, was never truly there for her.

Sure, he was there when she broke down in tears complaining about her dad, but he only used that as collateral against her when Seojun had threatened him after he too found out about how Seojun’s dad had been paying for Hanni’s tuition.

Hanni had opened up to him more than she knows she should’ve. She told him how much she hated her dad, how everytime she went home from Decelis, she couldn’t wait to go back because she couldn’t stand an day in that house, let alone an hour.

And what did Sunghoon do with that information? He used it against her.

Sunghoon wasn’t like Yang Jungwon. Seojun couldn’t just kill him off, he was an important asset to the Park Administration for the local politics, the same ones that Seojun’s father was running for.

Killing Sunghoon was too much of a big risk for everybody involved.

Sunghoon knew he had that power over Seojun. He knew Park Seojun couldn’t cry to his daddy about him and he knew that he could destroy Hanni’s whole life with a snap of his fingers.

But he didn’t. It wasn’t fun that way. Plus, like Seojun said, Hanni was a pretty girl. Much prettier than other girls at Decelis. Sunghoon actually liked her.

Heeseung just had to get in his way. The boy knew Hanni first, but Sunghoon managed to squeeze his way to the top within months of joining the friend group. He knew Lee Heeseung had too much of a weak stomach to keep secrets like this. Lee Heeseung was a coward, and would always be in Sunghoon’s eyes.

“Drop him.”

“What?”

“Are you deaf? I said drop him.”

Hanni didn’t want drop Heeseung. She just wanted to feel loved. Heeseung made her feel loved. Sure, she didn’t like him enough to actually pursue him—but she loved the attention and adoration he had for her despite seeing through all her faults. Lee Heeseung cared for her, she just didn’t have the energy to care for him back.

So she let herself reject Heeseung’s confession on the night of Seojun’s gala, she let Sunghoon humiliate him in front of their whole friend group, she agreed to become Sunghoon’s girlfriend.

Why? Because Pham Hanni’s reputation was too big for her to let a man destroy it.

“You can tell me what’s wrong, you know, I won’t judge.”

“God, I hate you.” She whispers, hands harshly rubbing away the tears.

“Why Hanni? What did I ever do to you?”

“Because you tolerated me.” She cries even more. “Because you never once called me out on my behavior, because despite me being a total bitch, you were always nice to me.”

You had no idea what to say, so you didn’t say anything. You just rubbed Hanni’s back, wondering why the hell you were actually feeling bad for the girl who made your life a living hell for weeks.

[cheeseceli]

Their s/o is a songwriter

Pairing: idol Ot8!skz × songwriter Gn!reader (individually)

Genre: fluff, headcanon, idol!au

Request: so what if skz finding out their partner is a song writer / composer? bonus points if the skz members also found out that they wrote their favourite song :>

Warnings: reader is implied to write for Kpop most of the time, not proofread.

A/n: as a songwriter, I appreciate this request a whole lot lmao. Thank you for requesting, I hope you like it!

Bang Chan

Honestly, I think this is something he would find out before dating you

Man knows everyone in the whole entertainment industry

Ofc he knows who you are

If anything, the way you both got to know each other more was through working together to make a stray kids song

Overall, I think he would love to have a partner in the industry

Even if you never get to be on stage

Simply because you understand him more than other people do

You know how music is essential and demanding at the same time

Your job probably makes him feel more connected to you

He likes to joke that you're the newest member of 3Racha

Always sends you songs he made your you to listen

And wants you to do the same

You can send him an audio at 1AM and bro will listen to it right away, ready to give you his opinion and advice (and praise)

Lee Know

Poor stray kids and stay

They will be listening to the songs you worked on nonstop

He just happens to be your biggest supporter 🤷🏻‍♀️

Has a whole 10 hours playlist with all of your work

Knows every lyric even if they aren't Korean

And he also enjoys dancing to it very much

Even if the song doesn't have a choreo, he likes to make up his own by listening to what you did

Probably invented a few trends with your songs because of it lmao

He also listens to it a lot when he's on tour

Even if it's not your voice that he's listening to, it's still you somewhat

He just wants to feel close to you

Asks you to sing or play the songs you produced

Might or might not have a small compilation of audios of you singing when he's way too homesick

(And if you wrote his favourite song, he would definitely have an audio of you singing it)

Changbin

Sees you as a very big inspiration

The amount of times he listened to one of your songs so he could get out of creative block is crazy

If anything, he probably already saw you as a role model before even getting to personally know you

Imagine the seo changbin fan boying you

If you write for other K-pop groups/soloists, he's probably trying to make references of what you wrote in his own rap

Fans always think he's talking about a certain idol or something but he really is just trying to include you in his work😭

And he would beg to have at least one stray kids song cowrote by you

Like literally begging

He needs to have one small Collab with you at least once

And will get a little pouty every time you can't work with skz because you're with another group at the moment

Hyunjin

Loves to have songwriting dates with you

Usually releases the songs you both write (with your permission ofc) as a skz-recorder

Stays are starting to wonder who is that composer/songwriter who is behind every single song Hyunjin is in lmao

I remember he said that one of his goals for 2024 was to produce more

So he will 100% seek your advice and even ask for some particular lessons at times

And he is always a little bit shy when he's about to show you what he's been working on

Because he feels like you are THE songwriter

And you're also his partner so like

Your opinion is a very big deal

And he's also so excited when you let him listen to a preview of your newest work

Is always awestruck

(Any song of yours would be his favourite lmao, and the best part of it is that he means it)

Han

He would LOVE to have a partner in the industry

Or just connected to art somehow, even if it's just a hobbie

I mean, look at his lyrics

Bro inhales and exhales art

The fact that you understand this side of him and even share this interest is so what he needed

He's also very very helpful when you need to write songs

I see late night dates in the studio

Even when any of you is far away for whatever reason

It can be 2am in Korea, he will be on his phone more than willing to listen to you brainstorm

Brainstorming with Han would be very fun overall lmao

It's either going to be the most sentimental thing to ever exist or it's going to be complete nonsense lmao

Oh and he would also make a lot of references to things you wrote

And would be so so so so happy if you ever made a reference to a work of his

Felix

I remember he said once that if he wasn't an idol, he would like to be a professional songwriter

So the fact that YOU are a songwriter/producer

He kinda loves you a little bit too much

One thing he loves is to understand your thought process

If you ever let him see your notes,he will try his best to understand every little thing

Even if it's only words with no correlation all over the page

He loves to know how your mind works

And he wants to know where the inspiration comes from!

(If it's from him he will never shut up about it)

Loves to know the stories behind each one of your works

He feels like he gets to know you a little more every time he listens to something that is yours

Is always covering one of your songs on lives

Seungmin

Literally everything you could've asked for, both in the dating aspects and in professional aspects

He makes sure you never overwork but will never restrain you from your work

Like, he knows that sometimes the inspiration comes at 2AM. He won't shut off your notebook, he'll be up with you and guarantee you don't stress

And he's your most honest critic

If you need help with rhymes, structure, chords or whatever, he is there

(After dating him you rarely browse anything at Google anymore, seungmin always understands the specific vibes you want)

And if you are a songwriter/ composer who doesn't know how to sing (that's me criticising myself) he always volunteers to make the demo for your songs

As I said, everything you could've ever asked for in a partner and coworker

I.N

Now this one

The moment he discovered he was begging to see some of your work

It's crazy how many of your songs were included in the playlist he has of songs that remind him of you😭

Talk about soulmates

I also believe that he would love to help you with songs

Give him one chance and this man is already with a notebook open trying to come up with the best verse ever

But he really likes to hear you brainstorm as well

Just you in your comfort zone really makes him admire you

And he loves how he can feel closer to you

Just reading the lyrics you wrote ou listening to the beat you produced makes him feel like he is meeting you for the first time again

Always having a new impression of you

Will also sing any demos you want him to!

Masterlist | you'll probably like: if skz wrote a song for you

Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Taglist: @yuyubeans

[https-lvesick]

“YOU BELONG WITH ME…” | nct dream on your wedding day!

❪ ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 ❫ 𝒞 𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓. how the boys react to you walking down the aisle. nct dream x fem!reader. and a big thanks to my pookie @winwintea for helping me with this!

MARK LEE

mark would be shaking for his life. like, he couldn’t believe he was about to marry you, the girl of his dreams. the light of his day. the person he will always look forward to have in his life. when he realises you’re taking too long to show up, intrusive thoughts immediately flood his mind.

“what if she gave up on this wedding?”

“what if she regretted everything and right now she’s taking the first flight to… wherever?”

he feels his breath starts to get shallow and tears prick up his eyes. mark dries his sweaty palms on his pants and asks renjun: “is she really coming?”

“dude, stop, for god’s sake. i know it’s your wedding, but please. for the last time, she is indeed coming!” renjun was visibly annoyed. that might be the tenth time he’s asking the same thing. “mark, that woman loves you more than you even love yourself. she would never in a million years leave you.” the younger male sighs, seeing his friend’s pleased smile.

“thanks, dude…” mark sighs, more relaxed.

“you better name your kids after me, ‘cause i’m not doing all this shit for nothing.” renjun jokes, nudging the anxious groom. he checks his phone once again and smiles. “seems that your girl is coming. ready to be a married man?”

“more than ever.”

the gates are closing. the wedding march is playing. the guests are standing up. and mark feels like he will faint any moment. but as soon as he saw you, his mind went blank.

how could you get even more endearing? the white dress, the one he swore he’d be designing only for you had some minor changes, but that made you even more perfect. your makeup, your hairstyle, fuck… even the bouquet in your hand. everything was used to accentuate your beauty. the beauty that only his woman, the one and only mrs. lee could have. mark didn’t even notice he was crying until jeno handed him a cloth. he accepted and tried to dry his tears, but it was useful.

when you were handed to him, he pecked your hands and praised you.

mark was always sure that you were the one. he realised that when you left a family gathering in another town only to take care of him when he was sick. you made sure to keep him nice and comfortable and didn’t even care if you got sick too. that moment he realised he wanted you with him forever.

and now you’re ready to say the most expected “i do.”

HUANG RENJUN

renjun is the calmest. he’s sure you love him and he does the very same, if not more. all he can do is close his eyes, take a breath and picture you. the perfect you walking down that aisle towards him in white. he can’t even tell how he’s going to react to you. the only thing he knows is that he’ll keep that memory forever: the day you’ll turn into mrs. huang.

“i can’t believe i’m here… sitting and watching the love of my life getting married to a… a… woman.” donghyeok whines, pouting.

“you shut up. if it wasn’t for my woman, you wouldn’t even be here.” renjun hisses, fixing his tie. a leash would be better than this thing.

“oh, so she made sure i was here to watch her steal my man? bro, i’m gonna have a talk with this bride.” he checks his phone and stands up. the other guys just roll their eyes, watching hyeok walk away.

“do you feel nervous?” jisung asks, handing him a glass of water.

“well, even though i know things will go as planned and i’ll be a married man in a few minutes… it’s my wedding, you know, so yeah, i’m nervous.” renjun drinks the water, patting the younger’s shoulder. “but… do you think she’s ready and that’s why haechan was checking his phone or something went wrong…”

“no. no, no, okay. there’s nothing wrong. i’m sure that in a few minutes, your bride will show up there and you’ll say the ‘i do’ and live happily with your babies. now, don’t. overthink.” jisung squeezes his shoulders and takes the glass from his friend’s hand.

renjun only murmurs a “right”.

the boys were going to their positions and the guests stood up. when the song started to play, renjun couldn’t think of anything besides why so many people before my wife?

and when you showed up in his sight, he was taken aback. his heart skipped a beat when you walked slowly towards him. he was speechless, poor man, didn’t even notice he was deadfaced. a rush of emotions hit him like a truck, but somehow, he couldn’t express any of them at the moment. you, on the other hand, were worried about why your soon-to-be-husband was not smiling or giggling or anything? he was just standing there.

“baby, are you fine?” the moment when he hears your voice, he blinks a few times before smiling and taking you from donghyeok.

“i am. it’s just… i don’t think i’ve ever seen such a gorgeous sight before. you’re absolutely stunning. not only today but always.”

LEE JENO

jeno would be calm like it was an ordinary tuesday in his life. since the time he woke up, he thought about you and your future and he couldn’t be happier. you were about to be his ‘til death do you part, why would he be so nervous to see you?

“is he fine?” jisung asked jaemin. both of them watching their friend smile dumbly at nothing.

“i… guess… well he’s happy, isn’t he? he’s about to get married.” jisung scrunches his nose, walking to the goom.

“are you spending your best smile when your wife is not even here?” the younger teases him and jeno immediately deadpans.

“are you sure you don’t wanna see my downfall every time you think of me?” jeno asks, making the other stick his tongue at him. the groom laughs warmly, ruffing the youngest’s hair. “i can’t believe i’ll be a part of your family.”

“i can’t believe my sister is a traitor. giving up on our name like that to… take after yours…”

“you know what, i should’ve taken your name off of the guest list.” jeno teases.

“i dare you.”

minutes passed and the guests were all standing up. jeno was already standing, waiting for you. jisung was missing because he was the one walking down with you. and when the music starts to play, jeno’s heart starts to race. he thought he would be so fine, but how can he? it’s his wedding. with the woman of his life.

the moment his eyes connected with yours, he was speechless. that may be the most graceful sight he’s ever seen. he knew anything would look good on you, but this? your wedding dress makes you look like you just came from heaven to please his eyes.

he can’t say a word when you’re handed to him, all jeno can do is to let some tears fall and mutter “i love you more than anything.”

LEE DONGHYEOK

donghyeok would be so nervous, like, he was shaking. many intrusive thoughts have been plaguing his mind recently, but you made sure to make him as confident as possible. somehow, he couldn't help but think about it. he took a deep breath and thought about you. your smile, your words of affirmation, you. the simple mention of your name, the mere thought he had about you was enough to make him calm himself.

“uhm… haechan…” mark approached him, holding his phone.

the groom shivered to hear his best friend’s tone. “what happened?”

“i think your wife is going crazy. may you please talk to her?” he handed his phone to the younger, who had his eyes open, hesitating to take the phone. “bro, i might be committing a fucking wedding crime here letting you both talk when you’re not done yet. do it.” mark shook his hand in front of donghyeok’s face.

“hi, baby.” his voice was kind of worried.

“love…” your voice softens listening to him. “why are we taking so long? i wanna see you…” the same way you could hear his smile, he could hear your pout.

“i know, my sun. i’m dying to see you too, but you need to get ready, huh? get all pretty for me…”

“but i am ready!” you whine, sighing. “i have my dress on, heels, and makeup done. i don’t need anything else! i don’t wanna sit and wait for more to have a hairstyle. you gonna mess it anyways…” you murmur the last part, making him chuckle.

“then you don’t need a hairstyle. you know i’ll find you pretty regardless. you could show up here naked and you’d be the prettiest.” donghyeok wiggles his brows.

“oh, and you’d let other people see your wife naked?” you question, jokingly, and he answers deadpan.

“never. you’re mine.” you chuckle on the other side and he can hear someone calling you. “see, you’re making people wait, do it how you want it. i’ll be here waiting for you.”

donghyeok handed the phone to its owner and he was visibly more relaxed. “ready to go?” mark asked, fixing his tie.

“sure.” and they headed to the wedding place.

when the music started to play, donghyeok was anxious. he could picture your beauty like always, but you never fail to impress him like always. he stood there, waiting for you with eyes closed, deep breathing.

when his eyes opened and he could see you, he could tell two things: first, you were as anxious as him and second, you were a goddess. he was more than right in being completely obsessed with you. how could he not? when you made him the happiest man alive, when you lit up his day when it seemed like everything was going wrong, when you fucking gave him life.

his eyes were wide open, just like his mouth. and being himself, what would be a donghyeok thing he could do there? kneel. right in front of you, like you were some kind of divine creature. and you were.

“can you please stand up? how dare you embarrass me at our wedding?” you scold him, pulling him to stand up. oh, and when you scold him? he loves it!

“just… please promise you’ll never ever leave me. i cook, i clean, i kiss your feet, but never let me live without you. i promise to never make a mistake and to make you happy for our eternity and if you want i can even birth our chil-”

“lee donghyeok, shut up.”

“yes, ma’am.” he takes your hand and you peck his lips.

“i love you more than anything. i could never leave you.” you whisper on his lips, making him smile big.

NA JAEMIN

jaemin is so calm, that the boys almost think he has lost it. from minute to minute, he was smiling to himself and petting the cats, chatting with the guests and enjoying his time “alone” because the moment you show up and start walking towards him, his focus will be solely on you, like all the time.

“okay, so when mommy shows up, you just sit here, right? i know you all love her more than me, and i do too, but you don’t want mommy to trip on you, huh?” jaemin explains to the three white furballs sitting on the little benches he bought them.

“i can’t believe you brought these three troublemakers.” renjun approaches him, petting lucy.

“they’re our kids, how could i not? and chenle brought daegal…” he points to the dog messing with the flowers.

“right… she’s the worst.” renjun accepts. “how do you think she will be today?”

“gorgeous… as always.” jaemin replies in a blink of an eye, smiling to himself. “you know… i’ve always dreamt of this moment since i met her, but now… i just want this fucking time to speed up, ‘cause, damn, i just wanna be with my wife.” he jokes, giggling with his friend.

“you’ll have your whole life, jaem.” he pats his friend’s shoulder. “oh, and your mother asked me to tell you: you better enjoy this party with the guests for, at least, thirty minutes, ‘cause if she notices you and your wife are missing, she’s coming at you. so no babymaking at the party, please, mr. na.”

“but thirty minutes is so long…” he whines and pouts. “how am i supposed to control myself knowing she’s all mine for eternity? knowing i’ll wake up to her by my side every day. knowing she’s already carrying my baby, huh?” jaemin wiggles his eyebrows, causing the other male to gasp.

“she’s what?” renjun says out loud and the groom just shuts him, dismissing curious glances.

“surprise renjunnie, you’re gonna be an uncle.” he smiles widely. “but… care you to keep it a secret until my wife announces it? she’s been planning the perfect moment for weeks.” the other nods, still being shut by his friend. “right.” he checks renjun’s watch. “she may be coming. time to get married, lil’ bro!” he squeezes renjun’s shoulders, pets his cats and stands up, preparing himself.

less than five minutes later, there you were. in white, makeup and hair done nicely, holding your bouquet, and just… endearing. how could he have found the most perfect woman in his life? and he’s about to be yours until death do you part.

it was only you. you and him. forget about the music, guests, family, friends, and the place you were. it was just you and him in your own world. the heaven. his eyes were watching you with such love and his wide grin could never be wiped off. for him, you were his goddess, his muse, and every single thing you do is a reason to make him fall in love even more.

the moment you got close to him, jaemin took your hands and planted a chaste kiss on both, before pecking your forehead.

“i have no words to describe what i’m feeling right now, but you are the woman i’ve always dreamt of, and i’m more than glad you let me be yours.”

ZHONG CHENLE

chenle would be proud of himself. of where he is right now, about to create his own family. you are his everything and he couldn’t be more happy about marrying the love of his life. he’d be thinking of you the entire time. he even texted you – what he “shouldn’t”, but did anyways, ‘cause he couldn’t be away from you for two days. he could be all calm outside, but his mind was thinking nonstop. he’d often pet daegal to calm himself.

“you fine?” jisung approaches him, fixing his cufflinks.

“more than i thought i would.” he smiles, still keeping daegal, who was wearing a light blue dress, in his arms.

“do you need something?” the younger asks.

“her. that’s the only thing i need right now. i swear, jisung, if she doesn’t show up in, like, five minutes, i’m gonna combust.” chenle sighs, glancing at the door. he couldn’t wait anymore. he just needs you with him. he just needs his wife.

“ningning spared us an update. she’s ready, crying tears of joy and… gorgeous.” jisung smiles along with his friend.

“i know that. i don’t even need to look at her to know it. she has always been gorgeous, ji. you don’t… shit, you don’t get it. i can’t even describe how much i love to watch her, even when she’s just waking up, she’s the most beautiful sight i’ve ever got to see.” chenle says with dreamy eyes and a silly smile decorating his lips.

“i knew you were head over heels for her, but this… is another level.” jisung rolls his eyes, tapping his best friend’s shoulder. “she’s coming. be ready.”

and he was. he was more than ready to have you as mrs. zhong, by his side for your whole life.

the moment the gates open and you show up, his eyes widen. and there, the realisation hits him hard. he is about to get married to the woman he loves the most. he is about to start his own family. chenle can’t help but let some tears fall from his eyes. you are his happiness and he’s more than sure of that.

“i…” he lets his words die on the tip of his tongue. “i want you to know that you make me the happiest man in the world every day. from the time you wake up, to the time you sleep, you’re always by my side and i’m grateful for having you as now my wife.” chenle pecks your forehead, making you cry even more of joy.

PARK JISUNG

jisung would be in undeniable despair. boy would be so nervous he had fainted like two times before going to your wedding place. he couldn’t believe that out of the others, he was the first to get married, but what to do? he was sure it was you who he wanted in his life forever. you were the love of his life, why wait any more? he just didn’t imagine all of this would be so desperate. but, in fact, he hadn’t much time to get nervous when he had his friends teasing him for life.

“jisung why don’t you sit here, drink this water and try to relax?” renjun asks in a calming voice, handing him a glass of water, which was gladly accepted by the younger.

“i can’t believe our little jisung is getting married before me.” haechan whines, making the groom roll his eyes.

“maybe if you had, at least, a girlfriend you could think of getting married before me.” jisung says in a low tone, standing up.

“wow! hey! why the wildness?” donghyeok scoffs, crossing his arms.

“when she will be here, jaemin?” he asks his friend, who is too busy flirting with one of the guests. “i swear to god… i have useless friends.” jisung murmurs, but renjun clears his throat, clearly disapproving of his opinion, for him at least. “i’m gonna call her.”

“no, no. you can’t do it!” jeno interrupts the younger, who was already taking his phone. “don’t you know it gives you bad luck?”

“you know what else gives bad luck? me not being able to see my wife!” jisung smiles, averting his guest’s curious glances.

“yeah, your wife, man! didn’t even get married and is already claiming her.” chenle cheers, patting the groom’s back, teasing the poor boy.

“i’ll make sure to not invite any of you for our vow renewal.” jisung grits his teeth. “neither our children's birthday, haechan.” he adds, sensing something about to come from the older male.

“and i’m the delusional one… bro is already thinking of children…” haechan says dismissively.

“again, i’m the one getting married. i can think about it.”

“i’m ignoring you right now. you’re getting wilder each day about our love life.”

“if you had one…” mark shows up, catching his best friend’s tantrums. haechan scoffs, looking at the other. “man, you’re ready? she’s about to come.” when these words come out of mark’s mouth, jisung’s eyes just lighten up.

as soon as you show up, jisung can’t help but shed his first tears, that’ll soon turn into a whole sobbing seeing you walking calmly at him. and you can’t help but laugh a little at him. you knew he would cry, but you thought he’d wait a little longer.

“babe, it’s okay…” you say in a soothing voice, drying his tears while caressing his cheeks.

“you think i’m a crybaby now.” he says, sobbing. “but you’re just too beautiful and we’re getting married, i’m so happy.”

“oh, don’t worry love, i knew you were a crybaby from the start.” he deadpans, for a while, his tears stop falling. “and i love you even more for that. you’re sensitive, cute, and the love of my life. i couldn’t have chosen the best husband.” you boop his nome, before pecking it.

“fuck… i love you so much, i’d go to the moon for you.”

[tqmies]

Love Guard | Lee Chan

Description. Lifeguard Lee Chan is a pain in your ass, and you swear he's only picked up this job to ogle at girls in bikinis. Little did you know, the only girl he wants to look at is you — not that you'd ever let him tell you that though — Especially now that you're convinced he's in love with your co-worker.

Pairing. Lifeguard!Lee Chan x Lifeguard! Fem Reader

Warnings. Curse words, (Pretend) Drowning, Karina attempts to meddle, Fluff, Chan's so whipped, Swimming, E2L (One sided)

Word count. 9.2k (Oops?)

Note: Summer has been over but I couldn't help myself! Welcome to my first Seventeen fic! Not 100% sure if I like this one but feedback is always appreciated!

"Two weeks." You repeat to yourself, attempting to calm yourself by digging your fingers into the squishy material of the rescue tube you have strapped on. Only two weeks left until the local waterpark is closed for the year — and until you have to look for another job — but the point remains a positive one.

In exactly two weeks from now, you will be freed from your own personal hell in human form, otherwise known as Lee Chan. Even when he's not stationed at the same ride as you, he's always finding his way over in your general proximity, just like he is now.

He's chatting up a few girls who look gorgeous in their tight fighting bikini sets, and you just about scoff at how obvious he is. You and Karina are set at the wave pool right now, and you feel bad for whatever station Chan is supposed to be manning. Does he ever do his job?

Karina quirks her head, her long ponytail falling to her side. "I heard he was supposed to be with the flow rider."

Ah yes the flow rider, the stationary surfing machine that tiny children and older adults alike swear they can do. You've only had to operate it once, and let's just say you complained so much you never had to do it again. Just this once, you can understand why he wandered over to the other side of the park.

"Vernon probably took over and kicked him out." You shrug, knowing how serious the older male takes his job.

"I hope so." Your friend giggles, patting your shoulder as she walks away. You notice her hand on the whistle, she must've spotted a few kids running again, nothing out of the ordinary.

A few feet away, Chan is just about whining into these poor girls ears. He smirks at them. “Is she looking this way?”

The girl on his left — whose name Chan hasn't caught — glances over her shoulder and then turns back. “She’s not, she’s watching the pool.”

One of the other girls snorts. “Looks like she’s doing her job.”

"That makes one of us." Chan slumps dramatically before an idea pops into his head. (The girls swear they could see a lightbulb above his head in that moment).

Chan swivels into the water after he stood to his feet, the others awaiting his revelation. "Okay, I'm going to need one of you to pretend you're drowning."

"Drowning?!" The blonde girl's jaw drops. Chan doesn't see why he has to explain it though. They would simply pretend they were drowning, he'd jump in all heroic like, and save them. And in the process, you'd notice and commend him for being so cool.

Chan was a genius, he nodded to himself.

So after explaining the plan to girl's that he had just met today, well about twenty minutes ago, he's ready to get this show on the road. He's lucky the girls felt bad for him after he gave the typical sob story on how his crush hated him. Otherwise, they probably wouldn't have agreed.

The blonde girl submerges herself into the water, on purpose, as Chan prepares to take action. But first, he had to take his shirt off. Oh don't act so shocked, he's literally trying to get your attention! He's not above showing a little skin!

You don't even notice though, too preoccupied with watching some children jump on each other. You approach them and politely tell them to not attempt to kill each other under the water. You didn't even think that needs to be said but, this job surprised you every day.

However, the minute you turn around, you notice some arm's flailing around in the water. It was the area where Chan was just standing, but he's nowhere to be found now. Shit! You were going to have to act, and fast!

So you dive into the water, peeling your eyes open in the chlorine to find the girl. You reach her in record time, using your rescue buoy to grab her and pull her out. You lay her on the concrete, shaking her shoulders and gaining no response.

"Someone get me an AED!" You shout, preparing to begin CPR. Karina rushes to your side, asking any bystanders if they knew what happened and trying to gain more information about the situation. Thank goodness for her.

A crowd begins to form around you as you recall the CPR process in your head, ready to begin when you're abruptly shoved out of the way.

"I got it!" Chan explains, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. You're too stunned to reply so you just let him take the lead, watching his next moves in silence.

He barely starts to push on her chest when her eyes shoot open, and she begins coughing up imaginary water. You're a bit suspicious, but this was your first time dealing with an unconscious victim, guess you'd just been lucky so far.

She sits up as she starts talking, waving her hands around. "Don't call 9-1-1 or anything! I'm fine!"

Karina leans forward. "Are you sure?"

"Yes!" The girl replies, before easily standing to her feet as she rushes out, her friends following behind her. They didn't even have their shoes on?

Chan watches them in defeat as you and Karina silently gape at each other. The girl had run away steadily, no signs of being disoriented for someone who had just been unconscious. It did all happen so fast though, maybe you weren't seeing things right.

Karina is the first to stand. "What just happened?"

You shake your head, your now wet hair dripping on you. "I don't even know."

Chan doesn't look as confused as you two though, but never mind that, you had a bone to pick with him first.

"And where the hell were you?"

Chan barely registers you speaking to him, as he's mentally recounting how his plan went awry. "I was getting my CPR keychain."

You want to bang your head against the ground. "You didn't have it on you?"

Hey, give him a break. He's human too! He forgets things sometimes, it can't be that bad! However, if he was going to convincingly look like he was saving the girl earlier, he had to have his keychain on him. Which is why he ran off looking for it...

"I left it in my locker." He mutters, rubbing the back of his neck.

"God, just put a shirt on Lee." You stand to your feet. "And please do us all a favor and stay in your station."

"So you acknowledge that you checked me out?"

You deadpan. "I acknowledge that you make my job harder because an old woman almost slipped on the shirt you threw off!"

Had he really thrown his shirt? He didn't even notice, your wording had to be a bit exaggerated.

You cross your arms as you head back to the other side of the pool, back into your comfy life guard chair. And preferably, as far away from Lee Chan as possible.

..

"Then he shows up like some fucking hero and interferes with me doing my job!" You state sarcastically, slipping your sweatshirt on as you stand by your locker. Screwing the cap back onto your water bottle, you sigh.

Minghao, your close friend who you never managed to get stationed with, just listens in mild amusement. "But he saved the girl, right?"

You shake your head as you gather your things. "I don't know if you could call it saving. It was weird, she just up and ran off."

Minghao giggles. "Are you sure she was drowning?"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say no." You admit, the jingling of a lanyard behind you catching your attention.

"Okay, I'm heading out." Karina says as she holds her bag over her shoulders. Your brain is too busy trying to configure how she looks so cute after a full day at work. You were sure you looked as worn-out as you felt.

"MIngyu's still around here somewhere. And Seungkwan and Chan are still in the back, I saw them fighting with the pool nets." Karina continues, referring to the long wands used to skim the pools for bugs and dirt. Or worse, fecal matter.

Thankfully, that's usually not the case. Nevertheless, you're grateful that wasn't your job today. You did have to lock up though, meaning that you had to get the aforementioned boys up and out.

"I'll get Minghao to yell at them." You nod, and Minghao just laughs.

Back at the pool, Chan is currently shuffling his brain for another plan, one that won't fail this time. Honestly, it probably made you more angry at him than anything. "I have two weeks Kwan."

Seungkwan rolls his eyes. "Oh God."

"Two weeks to make her mine." Chan repeats, rubbing his eyes.

"You're delusional." His friend replies, picking up his own pool stick and heading to the main area. "Why don't you start with something simple, like driving her home first."

Chan perks up at that. "Wait, that's actually a pretty good idea!"

"Actually?" Seungkwan starts, but Chan is already racing past him, pool cleaning long forgotten. Though the older male still shouts after him. "I always have great ideas!"

Chan mentally prepares himself on the way there, stopping by one of the outside mirrors in the kids splash area to check his hair. Looking good, he thought.

"Hey," Chan speaks, approaching you and Minghao as he tries not to give the latter a death stare. He could never figure out what kind of relationship the two of you had, and that made him uneasy. Not that you owed him an explanation or anything, but it'd be nice to get some clarification.

All he knew was that you and Minghao applied for this job together and you'd been friends for a while. Chan also knew you spent your lunch breaks together at the snack bar, courtesy of his friend Mingyu's spying, and he knew he took you home everyday.

But those could all just be friendly gestures, right?

You ignore Chan's presence as you turn to close up your locker, not bothering to acknowledge him. Minghao does though, "You heading home?"

"Yeah, actually." Chan responds, eyes never leaving your figure. He calls out your name, to which you roll your eyes to. "What?"

He stands up straight, slightly puffing his chest out in an attempt to appeal more to you. Was it working? Probably...Not. "Can I drive you home?"

"Not a chance." You shoot down immediately, not a hint of hesitance in your voice. Oh, that was fast. But Chan knew this wasn't gonna be easy after all.

"I'll buy you food on the way." He offers, clinging to his last ounce of self respect before he gets on the floor to start begging. He was not above that when it came to you.

You cross your arms. "Are you insinuating that I can't buy my own food?"

Of course things were going this way, "That's not what I-"

You put a hand up to stop him, smirking. "Because you're right, this stupid job doesn't pay me nearly as much as I'd like."

Chan stays quiet, unsure of what to say next. Luckily, you continue for him, all in a condescending tone though. "Whatever Lee. Even though you're probably doing this just to feel better about yourself for being such an asshole all the time, I'll bite."

Minghao grimaces, had you always been this harsh? Well, he knows the younger male did you piss you off more than usual today. He knows in his rational brain that he probably shouldn't let this happen. But will he? Yeah.

Minghao gently grabs your arm. "Call me when you get home, okay?"

"Of course." You reply, and Chan watches you flash a smile reserved for your friends only. He knows that because never once had you directed that smile at him. This was soon to change, or so help him.

"You can go ahead, I'll get 'Kwan and lock up." Minghao nods and you thank him.

Chan's just about losing his mind though, Minghao was on a nickname basis with Seungkwan? What the hell? Did Seungkwan not know that Minghao was enemy number one ?! He had some words for him later.

Right now though, his main focus was you. Even in the horrible florescent lighting of the locker room, he thought you looked beautiful.

You, on the other hand, were getting the ick from seeing Kim Mingyu walk around with flip flops. That was going to be hard to move on from.

Just to be clear, you really weren't interested in relationships right now. And yes, you and Minghao were just friends, strictly platonic. However, with on slow days, you liked to occupy yourself with staring at Mingyu's prominent muscles. And honestly, who could blame you?

Chan redirects your attention to him. "So, where to?"

You roll your eyes. "You were the one who invited me out, and you don't know where we're going?"

He looks down. "McDonalds?"

So that's how you two end up in the drive-thru of the famous golden arches. Chan has a million thoughts running through his head, the main one being how he managed to get you in his car, willingly!

In another universe, Chan imagined that this would be your first date. He'd make you laugh, hold your hand, and maybe even get a kiss at the end of the night.

"Should I get a Coke or a Sprite?" You speak to yourself, pulling Chan out of his thoughts.

He straightens his posture. "Oh you should-"

"I wasn't actually asking." You roll your eyes, already mentally having decided in your head.

Chan shuts his mouth.

"You know, I'm really interested in hearing why you invited me out of a sudden." You say, leaning your head against his car window.

Chan's scrambling for the words. "I just wanted to talk."

"About?"

Chan breathes in, here goes nothing. "Well, we only have a few weeks left working at the park, and I kind of.. like this girl."

You narrow your eyes, knowing where this was going. "Oh lord, did you really drag me all this way to try to get me to set you up with Karina?"

Chan's eyes widen. What?! How did you get to that conclusion. Chan barely knew the other girl, much less liked her. In all honesty, he barely even paid her any mind, always too preoccupied with staring at you by her side. He rushes to deny it. "No-"

"You don't have to lie." You speak, rolling your eyes. "You took me here on a bribe so I could put in a good word with you."

Chan's so confused right now.

"Sorry but I think Karina's worth more than whatever you're getting me on the dollar menu." You spout sarcastically. "And anyways, why would I help set her up with you?"

Now, Chan has to speak up, because really? Was he that bad that you couldn't even imagine setting him up with a friend ? He's mildly offended, even if he could care less about her. It's more so that he's utterly infatuated with you, and he can't believe you don't see him as possible boyfriend material. "Huh? What's wrong with me?"

You narrow your eyes. "Well, for starters you're broke, lazy, and irresponsible. Oh, and stupid, immature, full of yourself-"

You were really laying it on thick, and Chan doesn't think he can take anymore stabs at his character without possibly jumping out of his car window. He interrupts, "Anything else?"

"I wasn't even done yet." You stop counting on your fingers. "Point is, you're not good enough for Karina."

He doesn't even care about who you're talking about anymore, he throws his hands up. "You don't even know that, you've never seen me on a date." Because you've never given me a chance, but he only speaks that last part in his head.

"I've seen your everyday character, that says more than enough."

Chans on the verge of ramming the car in front of him in line. "So what kind of guy would be good enough?"

You shrug. "Probably someone like Joshua."

"The manager?" Chan draws back, because were you referring to Karina's taste or yours? He was so lost right now. "He's like way too old."

You click your tongue. "I said someone like him. He's smart, soft-spoke, responsible, and he knows how to deal with conflict."

Chan grips his steering wheel. Yes, Joshua had his life together, but that's because he was older! Was that really what you were into? Chan might as well throw in the towel now. "It sounds like you want someone like Joshua."

"Maybe, I don't know."" You cross your arms in thought. "Well, he's kind of boring, can't be much fun dating someone like that."

So there is a drawback to perfectly stunning men like Joshua, or was he just saying that to make himself feel better? He'd have to ask Seungkwan for advice tomorrow. "Well-"

"Whenever you're ready." A voice takes over through the intercom. Chan hadn't realized he had already pulled up this far.

He didn't even know what he wanted, in fact this whole conversation made his stomach turn. Was he even hungry anymore?

However, you knew exactly what you wanted. But Chan's silent by the intercom so you do the only feasible thing to do, you unbuckle your seatbelt and lean over him. Climbing past the center console, you throw your body halfway out of the window and start reciting your order.

Unbeknownst to you, the male in the car with you was losing his mind. Why were you so close to him? Why did you smell so good? Why was your body basically on top of his (You aren't touching at all)? And Why did this feel so intimate?

You turn to him, still in the same position. "What do you want?"

Chan's face is red, and he's trying his best to stay cool, avoiding eye contact. "A burger."

"Which one?"

Poor guy can't think straight. "The normal one?"

You sigh, turning back towards the speaker. "And a Big Mac."

"I think Chan likes you." You speak, seeking refuge from the scorching hot summer sun under the tiny roof peeking out from the food stand.

Karina sips on her slushie, that's halfway melted, and grimaces. "No way."

You offer a tight lipped smile before shooting her glare. "Don't give me that look! Who wouldn't like you?"

Karina laughs. "It's not that I don't think he'd like me, it's that he doesn't."

"And how are you so sure?" You ask, adjusting the straw on your own slushie.

"Um, okay one, he's never held a conversation with me for longer than two minutes." She starts, placing her cup on the counter. Trying her best to stop the syrup from getting her hands all sticky.

You digress though. "That's because you make him nervous!"

"Two, we barely know each other."

"You haven't given him a chance." You tease, unaware of prying ears listening to your conversation. Give you a break though, honestly, it was too hot for all of this.

"Where did you even get this idea from?" She inquires in disbelief.

"Last night when he took me to McDonalds."

Karina's jaw goes slack. "You voluntarily went somewhere with him outside of work?"

Guess you had forgotten to mention that, oops. "He bribed me with food."

She narrows her eyes, suspicious but moving on anyways. "And then he told you he liked me?"

"No," You answer truthfully. "But he didn't deny it."

Karina shakes her head. "I think you're just desperate for some cute lifeguard-love-story to shake things up around here, and it's not going to work on me."

You giggle. "Whatever you say."

"You could have your own story if you just asked out Minghao already." She suggests meekly, despite knowing your constant insistence that there was nothing going on between you two.

"That's gross, I think I just threw up in my mouth."

"Yeah, I know." She teases before lowering her voice so only you can hear, and her eyes dart over to Mingyu making a hot dog. "But you could finally strike something up with mister beef cake over here."

You roll your eyes. "He's too hot for me, half the park wants him."

"He gives you free food."

You hush your friend. "He gives everyone free food!"

"You win this battle." Karina says, trashing her finished cherry drink. "But the war is far from over."

"Get back to your post, Yoo." You sigh, cleaning up the mess your melting treats made with a few napkins and discarding them.

Mingyu comes back to the front where you are after noticing you were alone, "Going back?"

You groan. "Unfortunately my break is over."

He offers a small chuckle, and all you think about is how good he looks. Especially since he's donning a sleeveless red shirt, matching the parks general colors, and you can see his arms in their full glory. No wonder you'd heard girls in passing giggle about how they wanted to take a bite out of the food stand guy, you saw the appeal.

Why couldn't he be a lifeguard? Just saying, it would be nice to see him without a pesky shirt sometimes. Oh you were so embarrassing.

"Have you seen Hao? I wanted to talk to him about something?" The male inquires but you shake your head.

"He called in today," You stand. "Said he felt sick, or some other kind of lie."

"He's not sick?"

"Judging by his Instagram stories on a boat?" You quirk your head. "I'd say no."

MIngyu laughs at your humor, and you're flashing that pretty smile again, and Mingyu's feeding right into it. Are you two flirting?!

Chan hates it!

Not your smile, no he could never hate your smile. But he hates how he's never once gotten to see it aimed at him. Yet here you were, chatting it up with Mingyu? Did the nuggets he bought you last night mean nothing? He thought they were a great symbol of his undying love for you!

Vernon looks unimpressed. "Stare at him any longer and you might just burn a hole through him."

Chan narrows. "That's the plan"

Vernon's bored. "Okay, this is getting weird."

"I just don't get it, what does she even see in guys like Joshua? Or Mingyu?" Chan crosses his arms.

"Maybe because they do their job-" Vernon tries to get his station partners attention back.

But Chan's having none of it. "Yeah right, look at Mingyu! He's flirting on duty!"

"He just runs the food stand, in his defense. Half the time isn't he helping you spy on her and Minghao?"

"Well it seems like he's playing for the other team right now, standing there and talking to my girl!"

"Your girl." Vernon repeats, shaking his head in disbelief as he mocks the younger male. "You're ridiculous."

Chan stays rooted in his place. "I can't even believe-"

"Hey, Chan right?" A voice plucks him out of his plotting to kill Mingyu (Okay, maybe killing was extreme, but at the very least he was going to jump him. Eh, that might be a little too much as well, he was still technically Chan's friend. Maybe he could-)

Oh wait, someone was talking to him, and he should probably respond. "Yeah that's me."

"Oh, well I'm Karina." The girl introduces herself as Chan finally gets to take a look at her. He knew who she was, everyone did, but the two had rarely a few words to each other before now, if anything.

He adjusts his sunglasses, eyes barely moving from you and Mingyu. He had to make sure Mingyu didn't try anything. This was a matter of national security! "Nice to meet you, I guess"

"What's up Karina?" Vernon asks, trying to break up this weird tension as he saw how Chan effectively ignored you.

Karina places her hand on her hip. "I'll just be straight forward, someone told me that Chan had a little thing for me, but I know that's not the case, even though she's entirely convinced."

Chan's irritated. "What?"

"I'm not blind, Chan." Karina raises a brow. "I know you have a crush on her."

"Well yeah, could he be more obvious?" Vernon snidely remarks as Chan does his best to ignore his comment.

"So," Chan looks down, slightly dissapointed. "Did you come just to make fun of me?"

"No," She leans forward. "I've decided I'm gonna help you."

"Help?" Chan's taken back as he snaps his head up.

"Help?" Vernon parrots, though he sounds more confused.

She smiles. "Yup"

"Why?"

Karina stares at her perfectly manicured nails. "You're a decent guy. Good looking, nice enough, and I know you're trying your best."

Chan blinks, this was the complete opposite of what you had told him. Karina continues, "But mostly, it's because I can tell you really like her. And I think she deserves someone that'll treat her well for once."

"Well give it up," Chan sighs, wiping sweat from his brow. "Mingyu's about to propose to her anyways."

"Mingyu's not doing anything," Karina moves her hair. "He been standing there like a dweeb the whole time, completely oblivious to everyone around him."

"And she still likes him more than me."

Your friend glares at the male. "Well this isn't going to work if you're going to be so negative."

"Karina," He turns to her. "Honestly, what's the point? She wants nothing to do with me."

"Because she's blind, she can't see how much you like her."

"So, what should we do?" Vernon pipes in, surprisingly intently following the situation.

"We have to prove to her how much you like her!"

"And how can I do that?"

"Don't worry, I have that part covered."

...

"And then he threw up right next to the trashcan." Jeonghan — one of the new hires — finishes venting to you about one of the kids on the waterslide he was manning.

"Swear there should be some kind of law forbidding kids from eating four hotdogs and then getting on a ride that sends you spinning." You sympathize.

"Or people could just have more common sense." Jeonghan comments, before his eyes drift off somewhere else. "Is that Karina talking to Chan?"

Your eyes widen as you try to follow his line of sight. "What? Where?"

"Over there." Jeonghan points with his head, towards the bathrooms.

Sure enough, leaning on the bricks outside the bathrooms, was your friend talking to Lee Chan. Had he finally gained the courage to talk to her? And oh no, was she actually reciprocating?

"I didn't know they were friends." Jeonghan breaks the silence.

"They're not." You raise a brow. "I think he likes her."

Jeonghan looks at you like you've grown three heads. "You're joking right?"

You shrug, "Why would I be joking?"

"Everyone knows that he-" Your friend stops himself before waving you off. "Never mind, you wouldn't believe me anyways."

"Believe what?"

Jeonghan snickers. "Nothing."

You're eager to press on more about whatever he was talking about but the manager, Joshua, asks if you and Jeonghan can get showered already so you can all head out.

By the bathrooms, Chan's about to start throwing a fit. "She looked over here once!"

Karina pats his shoulder lightly. "We'll get her next time. For now, I'll just have to feed her a great narrative of you until she realizes she wants you for herself."

Chan looks down. "This is hopeless."

"Holy shit, where is Chan?" Minghao complains, but you show no sympathy as he was seemingly having the time of his life yesterday.

You shrug, adjusting the strap of the bathing suit you had just put on. "Don't know, don't care."

Your friend tsks. "At least we get out early today."

You shake your head. "Doesn't matter, Joshua's forcing us into that work bonding thing."

MInghao groans, resting his forehead against the steel locker. "I forgot about that, what's the point again? We've had plenty of time to bond already."

"It's mandatory if we want that last paycheck." You remind him and he sighs.

He grabs a bottle from his locker and uncaps it. "Can you put sunscreen on me?"

You nod, it was a normal occurrence, and usually no one batted an eye. Even as you rubbed it into his face, too close for it to be considered just friendly, you know it's all platonic.

Chan on the other hand, isn't so sure.

Him and Karina were walking up the gravel path and the scene hits him before he walks into the area. "H-He's rubbing sunscreen on her back!"

Karina tries to calm him. "They do that for each other all the time."

"Then why does it look so romantic!"

"You're overthinking!"

"Seungkwan rubs my sunscreen in! Why don't you do it for her?!"

"I always get here late!" She defends. "Anyways, this isn't about me, we need to get in there!"

You're instantly drawn to Karina and Chan loudly entering, and it seems the two have gotten close over the past few days.

"Hey guys," Minghao greets and they offer him a hello back before opening their lockers.

"Chan," Karina speaks louder than her normal volume as to draw your attention. "Could you help me put on sunscreen? Can't reach my back today."

Chan nods, grabbing the bottle from her hands and slowly helping her rub it in. He wants to make sure you looking too, and how he's one hundred percent sure he can do it better than Minghao can.

"Uh Rina," You speak before you all head out.

"Yes?" She responds, hoping for you to say something about Chan.

"You have a couple white streaks on your back." And you grimace at Chan's poor job of doing something as simple as rubbing sunscreen in. "Do you want me to-"

"No! No," Karina laughs at her outburst. "Um, I'm sure Chan can help me fix it."

You almost flinch.

"Right, Chan?" Your friend grits her teeth so the male could take the hint.

"Oh, right!" He catches on and then vigorously continues to rub the cream into her skin. He's a little too aggressive with it.

"Ow- um, okay!" She lets out. "I think I'm good now."

You stop, "Okay..."

Chan scurries off, and he realizes he actually needs to get his own swim trunks on, and for heavens sake, where is his first aid whistle?!

You two walk away, you picking at your nails as you dread the day ahead. Your friend needs to break the silence. "So, you're staying today?"

"I wish I had a choice." You grovel.

"I feel you."

You catch the time on one of the parks various clocks. "We open in five."

Your partner nods at the reminder, continuing to with you just out of the sight of the boys and any other listeners. "So, what do you think of Chan? Isn't he sweet?"

You're taken aback. "Is this you trying to get my approval?"

"No.."

"Because you could do way better."

She almost stops in her tracks. "What?! But Chan has lots of redeeming qualities."

You feel like this is a prank. "Like?"

"Well he's nice, a good listener, and-"

"Oh, you got it bad." You interrupt.

She's about to start swinging. "No, you know he's not my type."

You frown. "So you're leading him on?"

Karina deadpans. "We're just friends, but all I'm saying is, uh, he's not a bad guy!"

You almost stop walking. "Right..."

She speaks again, trying her best not to seem pushy. "You know, I think the two of you have a lot in common, you could be good friends."

Before you can even respond, someone is yelling your name across the park, and its too early in the morning for that.

Though your face softens when you realize its Mingyu beckoning you over. You tell Karina you'll meet her at your station and separate. She was acting kind of odd anyhow.

"Mingyu," You approach him, the shade now concealing your face as you take a seat on one of the chairs. You try to keep your eyes from wandering, mainly to his exposed arms. "What's up?"

He smiles' bashfully, leaning on the counter. "Well, I've been wanting to ask you this for some time,"

You can sense he's a little nervous, so you nod your head. "What is it?"

"Could I maybe..." He trails again, before closing his eyes in mental preparation. "Have Karina's number?"

You gape like a fish out of water, doing your best to conceal your light disappointment. "K-Karinas number?"

"Well yeah, I'm interested in her. Unless she's seeing someone." He stumbles on his words.

You tilt your head. "Not sure, maybe you should ask Chan."

"Chan?" Mingyu almost laughs. "He doesn't like her like that."

You grimace at that. Had Chan been telling everyone that he didn't like Karina, when clearly he had been acting the opposite? Sure, she didn't like him back but, for him to be saying things like that was a low blow. "Did he tell you that?"

"Huh, what?" Mingyu looks confused. "Well, not directly. Though, It wouldn't make sense because he already likes someone."

You wave him off. "Doesn't matter, either way, you should ask her yourself. I really can't give you her number on my behalf." You explain, feeling kind of bad, but keeping a peppy voice.

"You think she'd give it to me?"

You smile. "You'll never know if you don't try."

Watching, once again, a few feet await is Lee Chan. He's using all his self control not to rip the foam tube in his hands apart, but Vernon brings him back to earth, or more like back to helping him tie up the obstacle course in one of the pools.

Even as he's experiencing red-hot jealously from watching you interact with his friend, he can't help but admire how pretty you were. You somehow managed to make that stupid visor look cute. And trust me, Chan thought no one could make that hat look cute.

If Chan was anyone else, he probably would've given up on his painful crush by now, but Chan wasn't anyone. He's not sure where his liking for you started, maybe it was that first day you joined. Looking all pretty as you stood next to Minghao and introduced yourself. Chan had overheard from Joshua that you had impressive swim skills, and you had a crazy dedication for your job.

It was a few weeks before he even got to interact with you. You were pretty much attached at your friends hip, taking a minute to warm up to the others. You had gotten partnered with Karina for a ride once and she helped you get along with the rest of the staff pretty well.

That's not how you first knew of Chan though.

No, that was a while later. One hot day a few years ago, when Chan was still scrawny and more awkward with girls. He had finally had a chance to grab a slushie, opting for the purple mystery flavor that rested in the machines. (Chan thinks it was a result of a machine that hadn't been cleaned, so it really just tasted like a mixture of all the flavors.) Anyways, he happened to be in a hurry due to him chatting with Mingyu for well over his break.

Which meant he booked it to the other side of the park.

Which consequentially meant that he wasn't watching where he was going. This meant that his slushie met an unfortunate end on your lifeguard bathing suit. And all over the floor.

Now, you were testing patience at the time. This was a new job, plus it was an accident, you could forgive the guy. You also didn't mind that he was pretty cute.

That was until he ran.

Look, in Chan's defense, you made him so nervous. You were so much prettier up close! He stood there frozen for a few minutes, stuttering and thinking of ways to apologize. So he did the only viable thing to do, he ran to the bathrooms to fetch napkins!

Only, he didn't say a word so you thought he literally just ran off to avoid conflict - which wasn't even happening in the first place!

After that, you dubbed Lee Chan someone to avoid. He obviously left you in a mean spirited haste, a deep purple stain blotched all on the front of your uniform. You figured he had a good laugh about it too!

Chan regrets it everyday, why didn't he just act like a normal human?! Why did he have to make things harder for himself?!

By the time Chan had returned, you were long gone. You had ran to the bathroom on the verge of tears, basically abandoning your post and leaving Minghao to run after you.

So if anyone asked, you'd say that your distaste for Lee Chan was completely valid.

...

"Great work today team." Joshua addresses you all, clapping his hands together before placing them on his hips. "I'm really proud of you all today."

"Which is why you should let us go home." Jeonghan pipes up from behind you in the cluster of a group, smiling hopefully.

Joshua laughs sarcastically. "But then you'd miss all the fun!"

The smile dies on Jeonghans face as Joshua starts recanting the same little group seminar tips he gave last year. And the year before that.

Then he waves a hand out. "I've noticed that there's been some tension on the team lately, so we're going to heal that with some bonding time!"

Karina stiffens beside you, leaning in to whisper. "I'm already bored."

You giggle a bit as Joshua starts pairing up teams for an obstacle course through the park. Normally, you wouldn't care, that was until Joshua cited a twenty five dollar Starbucks gift card awarded to the winner. Oh, he had your attention now.

"Karina, I know you don't talk to Jeonghan a lot so you're with him!" Joshua says esthetically, while you sigh at losing two possible partners. Well, there was still Hao.

"Minghao and Vernon."

Well there goes that.

You finally are graced with the call of your name but are immediately shot back down to earth when the accompanying name leaves your managers lips. "..And Chan."

You immediately step up in protest. "Are we allowed to switch partners?"

Chan frowns but regains a bit of hope as Joshua shakes his head. "Nope, sorry but I have to be firm with this. In fact, you two are the tension I was referring to earlier."

"Are you kidding?"

Joshua narrows his eyes, gripping his clipboard. "Do I look like I'm kidding?"

"Joshua, with all due respect, there is no tension! It's just Chan being an idiot!" You complain, widening your eyes.

Ouch, Chan thinks. That went straight to his ego.

Though your boss stands his ground. "I would just like you two to work together for once."

You scoff, muttering a string of curses under your breath which Joshua pretends not to hear, Chan does as well. For the sake of his pride.

Your manager finishes reading the names off of the paper and announces the commencement of the challenge, which you could be less than excited about.

"For this activity, one of you is going to be blindfolded. This will help strengthen the trust you two have in each other."

Trust? You and Chan just looked at each other after you were handed the blindfold. You didn't even know what the objective of the game was yet.

"Part of this activity is deciding who will be blindfolded amongst yourselves." Joshua continues, rubbing salt into the wound.

"Well-" You begin, about to start arguing when Chan holds his hand out. He can see that you're definitely uncomfortable with the idea.

"I'll be blindfolded." He states.

"What?" He wasn't even going to fight you on it? "Really?"

He shrugs, trying to will his face from not turning red. "I trust you."

You blankly stare for a minute, trying to read a hint of humor or anything of that sort in his eyes. But you come up empty, his expression dead serious. You just handed him the blindfold, leaving him to fend for himself as he tied it around his eyes.

What did he mean he trusted you?

Karina finishes tying Jeonghan's when she turns back to your boss. "Now what?"

"You're going to lead them through the water course," Joshua smiles, although it seems a bit mischievous. He had to be getting a kick out of this. "The ones that come out first, and the most dry, win."

You gape, you were supposed to lead this grown ass man through the water course and not let him fall in?

"Lead your partner to the starting position, and then we'll begin."

You do a steady job at pushing at Chan's back to the finish line. You're less than enthusiastic about it though.

You line up among the others, knowing you'll probably come out of this ordeal soaking wet, and that's less than desirable.

The course is simple, lined up floating fuzzy blocks paced in a pathway like structure. Then you have to follow up a little climb of inflatable stairs. Then back down to the finish line. Easy enough right?

Chan's shaking right now, he's not looking forward to falling in and possibly being left to drown — as if he's not in the prescence of a group of lifeguards right now — as if he's not one himself.

He's still scared though, give him a break, he can't see!

He hears the sound of a whistle and you begin pushing at his back, leading him onto the first block. The weight of you two displaces the block, and you can feel the other block getting further.

"Okay, move about two inches onto the next block, don't fall." You instruct him and he follows, waving his foot around until he feels the safety of the makeshift ground.

You jump onto it after him, "The next one is directly in front."

And you're pleased as he lands right on it. The two of you are ahead of some of the others as well, Seungkwan already having fallen into the water, and Vernon still on the first block as Minghao tries to encourage him to move already!

"The next one is far, so I'm going to go ahead of you. I'll grab your hand after and pull you, alright?" You explain and Chan nods.

You do as you said and then hold your hand out, grabbing his palm and pulling him so the blocks float closer together. He carefully makes the step and you cheer a little in your head.

You only had one more block, then the stairs, and you were home free. You could practically taste your drink now.

Well, maybe if Chan hadn't almost fell over.

You grab both of his arms in an attempt to stop him, and you catch him just in time. He winces at the prospect of falling, and you squeeze him. "I'm not going to let you fall, okay? I've got you."

Chan's glad he can't see you, because then he'd bear witness to you noticing the growing redness of his face. And if he had to acknowledge it, then he'd jump into the water himself.

You two successful make it to the last block and you cheer, the others having more trouble with their team work behind you. The others seem to be having a hard time due to lack of trust in their guiders.

You notice that Chan had trusted completely in everything you had said, even though you knew he didn't want to splash in the pool.

You stare at him for a minute, and he starts talking. "Uhh, aren't we supposed to keep moving"

You shake your thoughts from your head. "Up the stairs now, I'll lead you, just hold my hand."

Before you know it, the two of you had made it to the end. You take off Chan's blindfold as you announce your victory. Throwing your arms around Chan as you celebrate. "We won! We beat those suckers."

"Those suckers are right here!" Karina says, panting as she comes down the stairs. She's wet, pulling a much dryer Jeonghan behind her.

You keep your hands around Chan as Karina explains. "He stepped back on the block and basically pushed me off on accident."

You giggle at that, face on a few inches from Chan as he tries not to combust. Lord, he was so in love with you. Your pretty eyes as they crinkled while you let out the prettiest laugh.

Karina notices and she lets out a smile. He really did like you, anyone could see it in his eyes.

You don't notice though, sliding your hands off of Chan as you jokingly tease Karina. "I won the card! I won the card."

Jeonghan pulls off his blindfold just in time for you to see him roll his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

Chan insisted you made a night of spending the card together. You didn't mind, telling him you'd meet him there after your much needed shower.

So here you sat in the Starbucks lobby, awaiting Chan as you had the card and he had already passed you his order. You tapped away on your phone as you hear the chime of the door and you hear someone sitting across from you.

You don't mind his presence, weirdly, you felt he was really vulnerable with you today. While it likely didn't mean much to him, it had you overthinking everything.

"Here's your drink, it just came out." You speak first, pushing the cup towards him.

Chan thanks you and drums his fingers on the side of the cup. "You know, I think this is the longest we've been together without you saying you hate me or something."

You shrug. "It's hard to be mad in a Starbucks. Place smells like heaven, plus you showed out in the game today."

He waves you off. "It's easy to trust you, we've known each other for long."

You snort. "More like you've bothered me for so long."

"Oh, admit it. I make your job more interesting. If it wasn't for me constantly causing a scene then you'd be bored out of your mind."

"I guess you have a point." You reluctantly agree as you sip your drink.

He smirks. "I know."

You purse your lips. "So, any updates with Karina? I know you two have been spending time together lately. Seems I was wrong."

Chan sighs. "No, I'm not into her in that way."

Brows raised, you chuckle, asking a question you already knew the answer to. "She's not interested or?"

"No, and neither was I." He states, eyes meeting yours. "She was never the one I liked."

You don't know why but you stutter a bit. "S-She wasn't?"

Chan looks away. "If it had been her and I out there today, I would've fell into the water."

"What do you mean by that, Chan?"

"You know what I mean by that."

...

You'd been avoiding Chan for the past two days, even constantly buttering up Joshua so you could be on the opposite side of wherever Chan was. It was wrong, you know, but you couldn't help it.

You were a coward, you couldn't even think about acknowledging any feelings Chan had for you. You only had a week left until the end of Summer anyways. Maybe if you ignored it you could move on.

You couldn't like Chan, not after the years you spent disliking him. Sure, had he done anything else to make you increasingly upset? Well, no. And he did usually brighten up slow days with his presence. And he did leave random water bottles by your chair when he knew you were too busy to go get one yourself. (He didn't know you knew, you figured this was his way of trying to get on your good side after the ordeal, but you never forgave him)

That was another thing too, how could he say he liked you after purposefully trying to embarrass you? Sure, it was a while ago, but you never forgot.

You're brought back from your thoughts when Jeonghan speaks, "I'm sorry, your child is not tall enough to ride this ride. It's regulation."

In front of you was an increasingly stubborn woman and what seemed to be her child as she whined about rules you had nothing to do with. "This is ridiculous!"

"It's regulated by the city, ma'am." Jeonghan shrugs. "You can leave a comment card up front if you have a complaint."

She just scoffs and storms off, stomping loudly down the stairs with her child in tow. You'd never understand some people.

Jeonghan turns to you. "Been here the whole summer and I'm still not used to it."

"You never get used to it, trust me."

He laughs in response, before changing the subject. "It's quiet up here, usually Chan's in the general vicinity by now."

You stiffen at the name. "He must be busy."

"He's never too busy for you." Jeonghan crosses his arms.

You bite the inside of your cheek. "Too busy to bother me?"

He suddenly turns serious. "I don't understand, Chan is nothing but nice to you and yet you're always ratting on him like he's a pest."

"You don't get it." You say, hoping he'll drop it.

He doesn't though. "Sure, he's a little overbearing at times but it's only because he really likes you."

"Don't say that."

"Say what?"

"Say that he likes me."

"Are you stupid?" Jeonghan spouts, and you're shocked at his tone. "The poor guy looks at you like you hung the stars yourself and you always just brush him off like he's a nuisance! But you know what? Even after all the mean things you do, he does nothing but talk greatly about you. About how you're the kindest soul, about how your smile lights up his day. How you're the prettiest girl he's ever laid eyes on."

You stay quiet, holding back tears.

"He thinks you're the greatest girl in the world, you've just never given him a chance to tell you." He finishes, leaning against the railing.

"I don't believe you."

Jeonghan turns away. "Then you'll have to ask him yourself."

You open your mouth to speak, but it's as if your friend reads your mind. "I-"

"Go," He interrupts, jutting his chin in that direction. "Before it's too late. He's with Vernon at the flow rider."

You nod and take off down the stairs, mindful of the puddles of water on the floor, but your urgency remains the same. You had to know, you had to hear it from him. You need to know why.

It's not too far in the afternoon that there's a huge line, only a couple people standing around but Vernon's helping them. Chan stands to the side looking unoccupied, now was your chance.

Wading through the people, your heart beating against your chest, you find yourself standing in front of Chan.

He averts his eyes, unsure of how to start the conversation. He had gotten the message from your avoidance, you had made your point. "You want to, um, ride the flow rider or..?"

You clear your throat. "Do you like me?"

He leans back at the question. "I thought it was obvious."

"And this isn't a prank?"

He wipes his palms on his pants. "W-Why would it be a prank?"

"I don't know! How am I supposed to believe you after that slushie?" You say, genuinely distraught.

"What slushie?"

"The one you spilled on when I first got hired here! What kind of joke was that?" You ask, finally glad to let it out into the air after holding it in for so long.

"What do you mean? I ran off to get napkins and when I came back you were gone!" Chan answered, confused on why you even remembered that.

"You could've told me! I thought you had ran off to laugh at me!" You argued.

He stands, ignoring the attention you two had drawn from others. "I would've said something but I clammed up and didn't know what to say, you were just so pretty-"

You straighten up. "Chan, you're a moron."

He stills. "I know."

"I thought you were cute before then too. But I felt so embarrassed after that, I even had to pay for a new one because Joshua said someone took the spare."

Chans eyes soften. "I grabbed it for you, but as we know, I never got to give it to you."

You look down at the new information. "Oh."

"I like you, I really do." He begins. "I like a lot of things about you. Like your perseverance, your passion for this job, your love for your friends. Just one of these days I wished you would've talked to me long enough without ripping me apart."

"I'm a bit harsh, aren't I?"

"It's one of the things I like about you, you're not scared to put anyone in their place." He admits, and it was true. Chan liked all of you, not just your better qualities.

"This whole time I thought you were the jerk when really it was me." You remark, eyes on your shoes and the floor beneath you.

"I don't blame you, I'd hate me too." Chan chuckles.

You shake your head. "I don't hate you. In fact, these past few days have been so draining. As much as I complained, you gave me something to look forward too. Knowing I'd see you do something to get my attention, just didn't know why you wanted it so bad."

"Now you know." He steps forward. "And between you and I, I've done a lot of embarrassing things to get you to look my way."

"Oh, you did them on purpose?" You tease.

He playfully rolls his eyes. "Obviously."

You assured him that you believed him as you smiled. He grabs your hand in his, the two of you standing in the sweltering heat of the park. He rubs his thumb over your palm. "So what now?"

"Take me on a date."

"You want to?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't." You respond. "I want to give us a chance."

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that."

BONUS:

"That bastard really did it." Seungkwan remarks, eyes bulging out of their sockets as he watches you and Chan flirt by the lockers before closing.

Karina stares on as well. "They're so cute that I want to throw up."

"Give them a break." Minghao butts in. "Today is the last day."

"Thank the Lord." Vernon approaches the others. "As if he couldn't get more annoying about her, I've had to hear him recount every date they've had so far."

Minghao cringes. "She's the same way."

Karina agrees. "I'm not even that bad."

Seungkwan looks over at her. "So how are thing with Mingyu anyways?"

Karina put her hands up. "Oblivious as always."

Shrugging, Minghao leans on the wall. "Should we just ditch them here and go?"

"But we haven't finished cleaning-" Jeonghan, who appeared out of nowhere starts before his voice dies down. "Yeah, lets go."

"They'll definitely be too in love to notice us leaving."

"For sure."

[ihave-atummyache]

lap up!

Stray Kids Imagine/Blurb

OT8

summary: sometimes you have to lap up, to save space… or just because you can.

mega fluff, SFW

3.1k words

Bang Chan:

When he is especially tired, he has himself wanting you on his lap. If he wants to wake up, you're like an espresso shot for him. If he wants to fall asleep, you're like a warm blanket that he loves.

He finds the most peace when your bodies are pressed against one another. He's a real lover and genuinely can never get enough of you.

If you are just sitting in his lap, he is fidgeting with your clothes or your hair. He might be absentmindedly squeezing and rubbing you. We all know the man can't keep his hands still.

He’s definitely the type to push his hands into the rips of your jeans and squeeze at the the plush of your thighs.

—

You walk into the studio and sit your bag down. Chan seems to sense your presence and pulls the headphones off his ears.

"C'mere," his accent is thick, a sign that he is getting tired. You smile and cross the room to your pretty boyfriend. You step between his open legs and lace your fingers through the unruly curls on the back of his head.

Chan's hands rest on your hips for a moment, thumbs rubbing back and forth before he looks up, his gaze meeting your's.

"Hi," you smile softly down at your boyfriend, your hands grazing down to his jawline, your own thumbs gently caressing his cheekbones. Despite the dark circles under his eyes, you've always thought he looked the (hottest) prettiest when he’s bare face and in producer mode.

He looks at you with a lopsided, sleepy, smile before his hands leave your hips, grazing over your ass. He stops there, giving a quick squeeze, before letting his hands trail to the back of your thighs.

He sits back away from you, pulling you towards him. The motion has you being pulled to straddle his lap. You quickly oblige, wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands wrap around your back, pulling you impossibly closer.

He inhales deeply under you before letting it out, a low and sleepy groan leaving with the breath. His hands loosen for a moment, pushing under your sweatshirt and his hands press against your bare skin, making you jump.

"Mm, cold hands, Channie," you giggle and he lets out a chuckle, pulling you closer anyways.

"Smell so good... ‘S warm. I just need to finish this song and then we can leave and I can have you all to myself," he grumbles, more to himself than to you. You chuckle and run your hand back into his hair, gently scratching his scalp.

"Am I motivating you to hurry up?" You ask and he immediately nods. You laugh again, "Good. That was the whole reason I came in here," you press a kiss to the top if his head.

Lee Know:

Minho pulls you onto his lap whenever he wants and deems it would be fit. Meaning, if someone's gaze is lingering on you a bit too long or if he thinks that you're drawing too much attention to yourself.

It doesn't matter to him what the setting is. It could be at an award show (if you're public), a family gathering, in front of the boys, wherever! He's a possessive little shit and you both know it.

And also his thighs are just soooo sittable. Like you can’t look at his juicy pretty thighs and tell me they’re not BEGGING someone to sit in his lap!!

Also! Chronically cold hand haver!! I believe his hands are cold most of the time. I can’t explain why but it makes sense to me. He’s the type to shove his hands down your pants, not in a sexual way (sometimes), and rest them on your thighs, his cold skin raising goosebumps on your thighs before they eventually warm up.

—

You're sat on the arm chair that Minho is sitting on, your back to him as you indulge in a conversation with some random guy you just met. You're at a work gathering for your boyfriend and you've been getting a lot of attention all night.

Minho talks about you constantly but you had never been able to make it to anything work related for him until now. This is the first time his coworkers and staff are able to meet you, outside of the boys. To their surprise, you're just as charming and beautiful as Minho had described you! They thought he was exaggerating, wearing the rose colored glasses, but you're honestly amazing.

Minho's arm wraps around you, his hand resting on your thigh, playing with the threads hanging from the holes in your jeans, absentmindedly. You let out a laugh at what the man in front of you said, your head tilting back.

The sound of your laughter immediately pulls Minho's attention away from his own conversation to your's instead. What could possibly have been that funny?!

Before you can process it, his hand that was resting on your thigh wraps around your waist and he pulls you into his lap, making a squeak leave your lips at the sudden movement.

You fall back, your legs still resting over the arm of the chair and turn your face towards your boyfriend, his gaze elsewhere in the room.

"You big, jealous baby," you grumble and roll your eyes but adjust yourself anyways in his lap. You wrap your arm around his neck and twist the hair at the base of his skull before leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to his cheekbone.

Changbin:

Like Minho, juicy thighs. So firm but soft at the same time. I also just know that Changbin is one of those people who is always warm. My source? Just trust me.

If you’re especially cold, he’ll pull you into his lap and wrap his big, warm arms around you. I feel like he really likes having you sitting on his lap in general. He feels like he’s protecting you and that natural instinct just takes over. Changbin loves to take care of his baby!

He likes that he can feel you immediately melt into his touch when he wraps his arms around your torso. He has no problem placing you in his lap himself either. He’s quick to pick you up and plop you right into his lap. (strong man. i need him so bad. u dont understand. im tweakin rn)

—

“Gotcha,” Changbin’s voice spooks you and his warm breath against your neck. You let out a squeak when he cups an arm under your knees and the other around your torso before he, quite literally, sweeps you off your feet.

“What are you doing?” You giggle out, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck. He carries you out of the dining room, where you had been rereading some papers for work, completely oblivious to your surroundings.

“You are to engrossed in your work. You didn’t even hear me come in. I could’ve been an intruder, y’know?” he raises and eyebrow at you as he approaches armchair and sits down, placing you sideways in his lap.

“But I know I had the door locked and was perfectly safe,” you counter, tapping his nose gently with your finger tip. He chases your finger with his teeth, chomping on air when you move just a little faster than him.

“But babyyy,” he whines, his arms wrapping around your waist and his face nuzzling into your neck. You roll your eyes but wrap your arms around his head anyways.

“If you needed a cuddle, you could’ve just said that, bunny,” you tease and he scoffs against your neck, pulling you closer anyways.

Hyunjin:

Hyunjin is a fan of lap sitting but only for a short period of time. He gets hot easily and will get hot even faster with your body heat against him. It usually starts off as you sitting in his lap but eventually evolves to you sitting between his legs.

Whether he is on the couch and you’re on the floor below him or you’re still sitting on furniture, you usually end up with your boyfriend’s legs on either side of your body.

If you do sit in his lap and he knows it’ll be for a while, he prefers for you to be perched on one of his thighs, your legs between his own.

However, Hyunjin has said before that he gets cold easily. Therefore, if you two are at a winter show or an event and it gets cold outside, he just slowly moves closer and closer until you are in his lap, acting as his own personal heated blanket.

—

“I told you to bring a thicker coat, baby,” you scold your boyfriend when he inches closer to you, pulling one of your legs on top of his. You turn your body towards him before swinging your other leg onto his lap as well.

“I know, I know. Don’t scold me,” he grumbles, pulling his beanie further over his ears, which were quite red from the cold nip in the winter air. You turn your attention back to your friend’s daughter’s winter show. They were showing a Christmas classic and you wouldn’t miss it for the world, despite it being on an outdoor stage.

Your attention is drawn back to your dramatic boyfriend when he lets out a whine, pulling you completely into his lap. You roll your eyes but adjust, wrapping you arms around your dramatic boyfriend. He immediately presses his cheek to your chest, his eyes still on the show.

“Such a baby,” you tease him and he shrugs, his eyes never leaving the stage.

“Yeah yeah. You knew what you signed up for when you agreed to date me, angel,” he whispers quietly and you chuckle, returning your gaze to the performance on stage.

Han:

Han loves to be close to you 24/7. You're his personal happy pill and everyone knows it. Whenever he gets into a funk or just feeling down, you have the ability to bring him back to you.

You usually notice that he's going downhill before he even notices. All it takes is you distracting him from whatever has him hyper fixated and feeling down. Usually it is some post or comment on social media or sometimes he just starts to get down for no particular reason (dont we all).

It’s like magic the way you have the power to bring him instant comfort, no matter the circumstances. If he had a nightmare? He pulls you into his lap and you’re basically acting as a weighted, girlfriend shaped, blanket.

—

"Hannie?" You peak your head into the spare room in your house. His back is to you as he's hunched over his computer, headphones on. Chan had texted you and told you that Han had been feeling a bit defeated about a specific song that they had been working on.

He was having the worst writers block ever and you hoped you could pull him away from the screen, his poor eyes probably strained from how long he has been staring at the screen.

You approach, gently closing the door behind you and approach his slumped over frame. You place your hands on his shoulders, rubbing there for a moment before he lets out a deep sigh.

You circle the chair and gently push the headphones around his neck, his big does eyes staring up at you from behind black framed glasses.

"Hi my baby," his voice is hoarse, he clearly hasn't spoken in a while, probably since he sat down at this computer. You push his hair away from his face and lean down, pressing a kiss to his lips before sitting in his lap and leaning your back against his chest.

"Watcha workin' on?" You ask, hoping that if he talks about it, it'll help with his slump. He presses a kiss to the back of your neck before resting his chin on your shoulder. He reaches towards the computer and pulls up the beat he's been working on.

Han pulls the headphones from around his neck and settles them on your own head before pressing play and the pretty melody fills your ears.

"This is really good!" You exclaim, much louder than intended, due to the noise canceling headphones. He lets out a chuckle and pulls the headphones from your head.

He wraps his arms around you tightly, burying his face in the crook of your neck, forcing a giggle from your lips at the feeling of his breath.

"I love you so much, you have no fucking idea," the words that leave his mouth are quiet, almost like he didn't want you to hear his little confession. You reach behind yourself and scratch at his scalp gently.

"I love you more than anything," you confess in return, turning your head to press your lips to his.

Felix:

You often find yourself in Felix's lap but surprisingly enough (not really), he also ends up in your lap!! He never does it in a soft way though. He genuinely uses you like a chair. He's light, and you don't usually mind.

When you sit in his lap, however, it's all wandering hands and gently kisses. He's just a soft little baby and he loves to hold you. If he could crawl into your skin, he quite literally would.

Not that you mind his affections, he was like this even before you two began dating. He has always been down bad for you since he first laid eyes on you.

—

You don't even look up from your phone when you feel your boyfriend sit on your thighs. You're slumped back into the couch and he saw the opportunity so he took it.

He's leaned forward away from you, one hand on your knee between his legs and the other one holding the glass in his hand. He's talking to one of the boys about some new video game and you couldn't care less, opting to scroll through social media instead.

"I love being your personal chair," you chuckle after a few minutes, your eyes never leaving your phone.

"I'm pretty sure you have texted me and said that if you were a chair you would want me to sit on you. Consider this a favor," he replies over his shoulder at you and you roll your eyes, laughing again.

You absentmindedly run your nails up and down his back, making him relax a bit more, more of his weight sinking onto your thighs. You don't even notice yourself doing it, its such a routine for the two of you to be affectionate like this.

Felix has no problems with physical affection or PDA. It might’ve taken some getting used to on your end, but he really is overflowing with genuine love.

Seungmin:

He likes to have you in his lap in private. He wants you to sit facing him and wrap around him like a koala. It makes Seungmin feel so safe and so loved to be completely surrounded by you like that.

He also likes to rest his head in your lap after a hard day. Usually when you're catching up on some shows or reading, he'll come in and not even bother changing his clothes. He'll kick his shoes off and crawl onto the couch next to you, resting his head in your lap.

In front of others, Seungmin has this tsundere personality that he is determined to maintain but when it is just the two of you, he's just a baby. He's babied by his whole family and he's used to this kind of treatment. He likes to be doted on, although he'll pretend he doesn't.

Most the time, if you have guests over, you rest your feet in his lap or your legs over his lap. His hands will absentmindedly stroke your ankles, calves, feet, whatever he can reach.

—

You hear your boyfriend before you lay eyes on him. The door swings open and a sigh that is so characteristically Seungmin meets your ears, making you press pause on your T.V. show.

"Baby?" You call out but you don't get a reply, instead you do hear him kick his shoes off in the doorway. He finally rounds the corner and you lay eyes on him, his broad shoulders slumped and deep bags under his eyes.

"I'm so happy to be home," he mutters before crossing the room and sitting next to you on the couch. He leans down and kicks his feet up on the couch before settling his head in your lap. He lets out another breath, his hand making it's way under your thigh for warmth.

"Long day?" You question, your hands threading through his messy hair, gently scratching at his scalp. He hums in response before letting his eyes fall shut.

"I'll run you a bath when you wake up," you promise and lean down, pressing a kiss to his temple before grabbing the remote and pressing play on your show again.

I.N:

Like Seungmin, Jeongin also isn't too touchy feely in public. However, he loves you sitting in his lap in front of people. He may not be too fond of PDA but the man is still possessive (aquarius king).

He's the type to pat his lap when you lock eyes from across the room, signaling for you to have a seat on your throne! He usually keeps his hands to himself, resting a ring clad hand on your thigh or hip.

But, he has also developed the same habit as you and will absentmindedly play with your fingers or hands. He'll twist your rings around if you have some on or he'll rub your hands.

Because you play with his hands so much, he'll sometimes offer you his hands to rub and play with until your heart is content!

—

You look up from your phone after reading your boyfriend's message, immediately meeting his fox-like gaze. A soft smile creeps onto his lips and he sits up straighter on the couch before gently patting his lap.

You cross the room quickly, squeezing through people and random conversations between all the people that are taking up the practice room. They're rehearsing for a big music show and there's a lot of moving parts going into the performance.

"You looked uncomfortable. You okay?" Jeongin's voice is soft as you approach and you nod before stepped between his open legs and settling on one of his thighs.

"Better now," you let out a sigh of relief before wrapping your arm around his neck and leaning more of your weight into him. He hums in response and places his hand on your thigh, squeezing before turning his hand face up.

"Try to relax, pretty," his voice is quiet, careful to not let the others hear it. You grab his hand and quickly begin cracking his knuckles.

"You know how to calm me down so well," you smile and glance over at his boyfriend, a wide smile on his face as his eye flicker between each of your's.

"It's my job to take care of my future wife," he teases and you immediately feel your face heating up before mumbling a low 'shut up' and avoiding his gaze.

sorry i’ve been down bad lately on changbin if u cant tell