#leaving on Sunday but I'll be busy tomorrow so posting this today

[jovieinramshackle]

(Original pinned post)

Hey! Hi! I'll be away for a while!

I've mentioned it here and there before but I will be going on a 2 week trip to Germany for an educational program my school took part in. I'll have morning classes, and since I'll also be in a different country for the first time, I'll focus on enjoying my trip there as well.

Obviously this means I won't be as active and it's very unlikely I'll make any art (even though I'll have my tablet with me for notes).

Moots still feel free to tag me in your posts, I'll get to them once I'm able to! I'll be back home on the 26th of January.

TLDR I'm going to invade Germany and will come back victorious as its new emperor. I shall use my new profound power to spread my middle-aged yaoi and transgender propaganda. (/j)

tagging some people I interact with: @oya-oya-okay @scint1llat3 @thehollowwriter @sunnysidesevenup @theolivetree123 @beneathsakurashade @cheerleaderman @viperbunnies

[avastrasposts]

A Baker's Dozen - Six

Twelve Pedro boys, twelve stand alone short stories, all set in the same bakery.

Hello!

I can't believe it's already the halfway point for A Baker's Dozen, Pedro boy number six is waiting in the wings. But before I let him in I just want to say a massive thank you for all the love all you lovely people gave Ezra. It was a bit sadder than others but there always a chance of him re-appearing...

I'm dropping chapter today seeing as tomorrow is New Year's Eve, from next week I'll be back on my regular Sunday evening posting.

Also, don't miss all the #pickledpena fics that'll be posting on January 1st! And follow @pickled-pena to see them all in their pickled Peña glory.

Happy 2024 all you lovely people!

Series Master List

He puts out the cigarette just before he steps through your door on a quiet afternoon. You’re busy placing some fresh coffee cake in the display case and he’s the only customer in the shop. Crouched down, almost out of sight, it gives you a few seconds to observe him as he looks around the shop. He’s handsome, dangerously handsome, and holds himself with a nonchalant air of confidence that makes you think he’s aware of how good he looks. No man would wear jeans that tight if he didn’t know his body could pull it off, his generous package clearly framed by the crotch of the dark wash denim. A black, short sleeved, shirt stretches across his broad shoulders, one too many buttons undone, yellow aviators nonchalantly hanging from the neckline. And as you drag your eyes away from the freckles of his chest and up to his face, you’re met by his dark eyes, an almost scowl marring his handsome features as he locks eyes with you. 

You stand up, placing the now empty tray on the counter and put your customer service smile on, squashing a nervous squeal in your belly. 

“Hi, welcome, how can I help you?” you say, wiping your hands on your apron as the man approaches. 

“I’m lookin’ for a bakery that does Mexican things, I need a Tres Leches cake,” he says, his eyes leaving yours and scanning the shelves of your display case as you shake your head. His Texas drawl is subtle but the low register of his rich voice emphasizes it and sends a little shiver down your spine.  

“I’m afraid I don’t have any for sale today, but I can make one for you, if you’d like to order?” you reply and you’re surprised when his face seems to fall and he sighs deeply, annoyance rolling off him like the warm scent of his aftershave. 

“Do you know any Mexican bakeries in town?” he asks, “I’m sure yours is good, but I really need the cake today.” He puts his hands on his hips and you’re momentarily distracted by the way his shirt stretches, the buttons hanging on for dear life as his wide shoulders spread even more. 

“Sorry,” you reply, “there’s not exactly a big Mexican community in this town, so no bakeries that do Tres Leches regularly. Maybe you can find another cake that will suit the occasion?” 

The man drops his head, briefly looking at the toes of his dress shoes before he meets your eyes again, his brow furrowed.

“It’s got to be a Tres Leches, sorry.” 

“Then I’m afraid I can’t help you,” you say, shrugging and expecting him to turn around and leave. But instead he remains in front of the counter, looking at you as you start straightening the cups on the counter, just to have something to do, the man’s intense gaze is unnerving.

“Fuck,” he hisses under his breath, sharp enough for you to startle, and his eyebrows shoot up, “Sorry, that wasn’t at you. And thanks anyway.” 

He turns and yanks open the front door, exiting out onto the street where he stops, looking left and right before glancing back at you through the window. He locks eyes with you for a beat, and then he stalks off, long legs in tight jeans disappearing down the street. 

He stays on your mind for the rest of the afternoon, not because of the need for a specific cake, but because of the way he’d reacted to being denied it, disappointment that seemed to hit something more than just missing out on what, you supposed, was a special request from someone close to him. Women, especially brides-to-be, could be very emotional and stressed about the specifics of their cakes, but you’d never heard a man curse when he couldn’t get the cake he wanted. You wonder if you should maybe make a Tres Leches cake, just in case he comes back, but decide against it. There are plenty of bakeries in town capable of making them instead of you, he’s probably not even coming back to your bakery anyway. 

By the next day you’ve forgotten about him, the day running past fast as your shop assistant handles the steady flow of customers that Saturday’s always bring. You’re busy in the kitchen baking the last batches for Sunday and planning the week ahead, getting your orders in. As a spur of the moment decision, you add a couple of cans of evaporated milk and condensed milk, the Tres Leches man popping up in your mind as you scroll through the whole seller's website. . 

On late Sunday afternoon you start cleaning the shop and the kitchen, the foot traffic always dies down the last hour before closing on Sundays and you send your shop assistant home.You use the last hour to reset everything for Tuesday, Monday being your day off. 

The sound of the bell on the front door rings as you’re on your hands and knees in the kitchen, wiping out the back of a counter under your workbench.  “I’ll be out in a second,” you call out to the customer. 

“No rush,” a dark voice comes back to you, the Texan lilt familiar. You stand up so fast you almost bang your head on the bottom of the shelf, stumbling to your feet and smoothing down your apron and your hair. There’s a small mirror on the wall just by the door into the shop, so you give yourself a quick glance, hastily wiping the sweat off your forehead and rubbing away a dusting of flour on your cheek. 

“Hi,” you say as you step into the shop, “how can I help you? I’m afraid I still don’t have any Tres Leches cake.” 

The handsome man is still wearing jeans so tight they look painted on, but this time they’re a light wash denim and his short sleeved shirt is white, the yellow aviators hanging even lower in the deep V of his chest. 

“I wanted to apologize for that,” he says, stepping up to the counter, “And I’d like to order one, if that’s alright?” 

“Sure, that’s fine, I’m closed tomorrow but I could have it for you by Tuesday afternoon if that works?” 

“Whatever suits you,” he replies, some of his earlier confidence coming back as he not too subtly lets his eyes give you a once over. “I’m sure it’s worth waiting for.” 

“Didn’t seem like it on Friday,” you say, biting your tongue as the words slip out. The man gives you an unreadable look, you’re not sure if he's insulted or not. 

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out, “that was uncalled for, I’m sure you had stuff going on that made the cake an essential part of your Friday. 

“No, I apologize, I was rude,” he replies, shaking his head, “I was just having a bad day, I…” he trails off, rubbing a large hand over his clean shaven cheeks under his neat mustache, dropping his eyes to the floor before he looks up at you, his eyes suddenly doleful and tired, “I’ve just been a bit homesick lately, and Tres Leches was my mom’s favorite cake, and mine too, she used to make it for my birthday. She passed a few years ago and I just wanted to be reminded of her.” 

“I’m sorry,” you say, “I’d be very happy to make you one, but it probably won’t be as good as your mom’s.” 

“I look forward to trying it though,” he gives you a crooked smile, “All your stuff here looks delicious.” He waves his hand over the display case but he’s looking at you and your apron suddenly feels very warm around your body. 

“S-so Tuesday afternoon works for you?” you ask, clearing your throat and the man nods with a smile, like he knows the effects his looks, and his tight jeans, are having on you.

“What name should I put on the order form?” you ask as you grab a pen to fill it in.

“Javier Peña,” the man replies, stepping forward and leaning on his forearms on the counter, watching you note down his name, “I think you should write down my number too,” he says, looking up at you, “just in case you need to call me, for whatever reason.” 

The image of a baby cow looking up at you through thick lashes flits across your mind as he smiles, his eyes are deep brown and suddenly very innocent looking despite the very suggestive tone of his voice. 

“Oh you’re good,” you chuckle, letting him take the pen and jot down his number, “Do you really want the cake, or are you just flirting?” 

“Can’t I do both, cariño?” he grins, pushing off from the counter and winking at you as he comes to his full height, making you look up at him again. 

“Sure, but you’re only getting the cake,” you smile back at him and now it’s his turn to chuckle, a dimple on his cheek as he regards you with a playful look. 

“I’ll be happy with just the cake, but I’ll keep hoping,” he replies, still grinning as he pats down his jeans, pulling out his wallet from his back pocket, “What do I owe you?” 

“Pay on delivery,” you say and he arches one of his eyebrows with a cheeky smirk. 

“So that’s how I get you to use my number, will you chase me down if I don’t turn up on Tuesday?” 

“Something tells me you’re used to women chasing you down,” you say, trying to keep your heartbeat under control as he cocks his head, another arched eyebrow, “so I should probably just play it cool and count on your turning up for the cake.” 

“When do you close up on Tuesday?” he asks, the corner of his mouth quirking up, as he puts away his wallet. 

“Seven, but the cake will be done before then,” you reply and he nods. 

“I’ll be here before seven,” he says, “you can count on it, cariño.” He winks at you again and you curse the butterflies that immediately take flight in your belly. 

He gives you a wave as he takes a nonchalant step back towards the door before turning, his tight jeans giving you a perfect view of his tiny butt, you’ve really never seen any guy wear jeans that tight and you can’t help but let your eyes linger. 

‘Really…’ you think to yourself, ‘how does he even walk down the stairs in those jeans?’ 

A Tres Leches gets better the longer it can sit in the fridge and absorb all the liquid that’s poured over it, so you get started as soon as Javier leaves. By the time you’ve cleaned up the kitchen and done your usual Sunday night prep, the sponge cake is cooling on the counter. 

Ordinarily you wouldn’t come in on your day off but the Tres Leches needs three types of milk poured over it, so at lunchtime on Monday you stick your key in the lock and turn off the alarm to the shop. 

“Hey, I thought you weren’t open today?” a deep voice says behind your back just as you punch in the code. 

“Oh shit!” you shriek and spin around, your hand on your heart, as Javier’s hands come out to steady you. 

“So jumpy, cariño,” he chuckles, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

“You’re sneaky, jeez,” you gasp, hitting the off button on the alarm that’s still beeping, “please, give a girl a warning before you jump out like that.” 

He follows you into the shop, apologizing again as you flick the lights on. 

“I’m sorry, I was just on my way to grab some lunch and I saw you open up the shop, I wanted to say hi and thank you for making the cake,” he smiles and you feel his hand come out and gently brush over the small of your back as you walk past him into the kitchen. The warmth of his hand makes you stutter, trying to keep your cool at his proximity. 

“T-that’s fine, but the cake isn’t done yet,” you say, “and the shop isn’t open, I’m just here to pour the milk mixture on it.” 

“You should’ve told me to pick it up on Wednesday instead, I don’t want to make you work on your day off,” Javier says, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen as you open the fridge and take out the cake. 

“It’s fine, this is quick, I’ll be done in ten minutes, then I’m leaving again,” you say as he watches you with those dark eyes, they follow you around the kitchen as you take out a pan and the three types of milk needed. 

“You have plans for the afternoon?” he asks, crossing his arms and the blue shirt stretches tight across his shoulders. You can’t help but glance at the way it hugs his biceps and he notices, his body settling into the pose a little bit more, thick fingers drumming against the taught fabric over his arm as he smiles at you. 

“Yeah, I have a date at the fair,” you say, pouring the milk into the pan and turning on the heat, from the corner of your eye you see him shift and straighten up a little. 

“A date huh…” he says, “Your boyfriend?” 

“No, just a blind date, a friend set us up,” you reply, stirring the condensed milk into the regular milk. 

“Ok, I hope you have a nice time then,” Javier says, his brow furrowed, standing up and thumping his fist lightly on the doorframe, hesitating for a few seconds, “I’ll come by for the cake tomorrow, have a nice afternoon.” He abruptly turns and you hear his footsteps retreat through the shop before you have a chance to say goodbye, leaving you surprised at his sudden departure. After finishing the cake and cleaning up the kitchen again, you leave the shop and lock up. Javier’s sudden departure still seems strange to you, you don’t know him at all, but he’d suddenly seemed offended by your date, even jealous. He’s a flirt, and you couldn’t help flirting back a little, but you really don’t think he’d be jealous of your blind date. Would he be?   

The next day you’re not sure if he’ll come for his cake after all, but you are hoping he will. The blind date had been a miserable affair and you bowed out after suffering through a painful hour of stilted small talk about small business taxes. Javier’s crooked grin and tight jeans had been on your mind throughout the afternoon as your date droned on.. 

Towards the end of the day you take the cake out and cover it in whipped cream and decorate it with fresh strawberries. And thankfully, a few minutes before seven the doorbell jangles and you look up to see Javier walk through the door, giving your heart a little jolt of excitement. But although he’s not exactly scowling, the yellow aviators cover his eyes and the corners of his mouth are downturned under the edges of his neat mustache. It’s a stark contrast to the bright pink shirt he’s wearing today, the color clashing with the apparent mood he’s in. 

“Hi Javier,” you say, giving him what you hope is your flirtiest look, wanting to coax him back to the flirtiness he’d displayed on previous visits, “I guess I won’t need your number after all,” you say, giving him a sweet smile as you watch his lips quirk up in response. 

“Maybe you should hang on to it, in case that new boyfriend doesn’t work out,” he smirks, coming up to the counter and leaning on the display case, long legs in tight jeans casually crossed as he gives you an appreciative glance up and down. You’d removed your apron a little bit earlier, changed into a nicer top, fixed your hair, only stopping yourself as you considered adding lipstick. 

“No, that was a bad date,” you scrunch up your nose at him, “I had to make up an excuse after an hour.” 

“Too bad,” he says but his crooked grin leaves you in no doubt about the fact that he’s very much not sorry about the failed date, “You should’ve let me take you out instead, I would’ve made sure you didn’t need any excuse to leave.” He gives you a quick wink, taking off his aviators, and you feel your cheeks heat up as he smirks and swipes a thumb over his bottom lip. 

“About that cake, querida?” 

The casual pet name ramps up the heat in your cheeks another notch and you’re grateful for the chance to turn around and head for the kitchen.

“Yeah, sure, let me get it,” you throw over your shoulder and yank the fridge door open, carefully sliding the cake box out. 

“Here, I boxed it for you, but have a look, make sure it’s what you wanted,” you say, putting the box in front of him as you get back to the counter 

“I’m sure it’s perfect,” he replies, but he still slips the paper lip from its hold and flips up the lid. He looks down at it for a beat and the casual confidence slips from his face, replaced by something you can’t place, almost as if he suddenly disappears from the shop, finding himself in another setting, looking at another cake. 

“Is…is it as you expected?” you ask timidly when he doesn’t move, his eyes still on the cake, and he blinks and looks up at you, his eyes soft and warm.

“It’s perfect, just perfect, thank you,” he replies, his tone suddenly sincere and raw in a way you didn’t expect, it’s just a cake. But he looks down at the cake again and there’s a play of emotions across his face, as if the thoughts in his head are dancing across his features in the space of a few heart beats. You let him have his moment and carefully start tidying up the counter around the till and turn to start cleaning the espresso machine when he clears his throat. 

“This is…uhmm…” he trails off and you look back at him, he’s still got his eyes on the cake but as he rubs a large hand over his jaw he looks up at you, “Do you wanna have a coffee with me? And some cake?” 

“You wanna cut the cake now?” you ask surprised, you thought it was for a special occasion but he nods. 

“Yeah, as a thank you for going out of your way to make it, coming in on your day off and everything,” he gives you a nod towards the coffee machine and grabs a couple of plates from the counter, “Although I should really be serving you but that coffee machine looks pretty advanced.” 

“I’d love to have coffee and cake with you, Javier. But are you sure you want to cut it now? I thought it was for something special?” 

“It was, or it is,” he says, coming round the counter with the cake and putting it next to you. “My mom used to make it for me and on Friday it was ten years ago since she passed….” 

He pauses and adjusts the cake with one hand, the other hooked into the pocket of his jeans, fingers drumming against his leg as you wait for him to continue. 

“I was feelin’ kinda homesick, wanted something to remind me of her,” he clears his throat, looking up at you again as you put down the cloth you’ve been wiping the machine with. His mood on Friday makes sense now, but you never would’ve you have guessed the reason behind it, and you push down the urge to put your hand on his arm. But he seems to shake out of his reverie and he gives you a crooked smile. 

“So how about that coffee, cariño?” 

“Sure,” you smile back at him and you see his eyes soften again, “How do you take it?” 

“Strong and black,” he replies, “Show me where you keep the knives and I’ll get us some cake, at least I can serve you that.” 

You show him and he gives a low hum when he slides the first slice onto a plate, “It smells just like I remember.” 

“Good, I hope the taste reminds you of her too,” you smile. It feels like he’s a different person now, still confident and flirty, and dangerously handsome, but you’re seeing a more human side, something underneath his winks and smirks as you watch him expertly wipe the knife and cut another clean edged slice and slide it onto the plate. 

“If you ever need a part time job, let me know, with those cake skills I’d let you serve my customers,” you remark, jumping up onto the counter next to where Javier’s standing. 

He snorts at your comment, picking up one of the plates and hands it to you, “Trust me, cariño, you don’t want me anywhere near your customers.” 

“No, true, those tight jeans might be a bit distracting for female guests,” you say, “I’d never get anything sold.” 

You bite your tongue, trying to stop your giggle, as you see his eyes widen, the spoon hoovering in the air over his cake slice as he tries to process your words.

“Really, cariño,” he says eventually, shaking his head as he pushes the spoon into the cake, “I didn’t think you minded them, considering the way you’ve been staring at my ass,” he gives you a wink as he puts the spoon in his mouth. 

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying, I know how distracting they are,” you laugh, “It’s a good thing you left yesterday, I would’ve messed up the cake if you’d kept hanging around my kitchen in those jeans.” 

Javier hums, distracted by the cake as he looks down on it, waving his spoon at it as he chews and swallows. 

“This is delicious, cariño, just as good as my moms, it tastes just like hers.” 

“Thanks, that’s the best compliment I could get,” you smile at him, taking a mouthful of the cake for yourself as Javier reaches for the cup of coffee you’ve placed next to him. 

“Mhm…” he grunts, “strong coffee and Tres Leches, best thing I’ve had in a long time, hermosa.” 

He smiles at you over the edge of the cup, his chocolate brown eyes making you feel flustered as he keeps eye contact when he’s put the cup down. 

“Relly, the best I’ve had in a very long time…” he says, “and the best company I’ve had in a long time too. Tell me, would I really distract you that much in the kitchen?” He takes another spoonful of cake and keeps his eyes on you, staring you down as he cocks his hip and leans on the counter, suddenly very close, making your nerves thrum just under your skin. You can smell the cake on his breath, the coffee from the cup on the counter and his faded aftershave, still lingering on the collar of his pink shirt. 

“You…I-I think you know what you do with those tight jeans, Javier,” you reply and his lips quirk up in response, the corner of his mustache twitching as his eyes move down to your lips and linger there. 

“Why don’t you tell me, cariño?” he smirks, “What do my tight jeans do?” 

You almost roll your eyes at him, the confidence is oozing off him but you can’t deny that he can back it up as he parts his soft looking lips and moves around your legs, stepping in between them, trapping you up on the counter. Your breath hitches as he looks up at you again, his eyes leaving your lips as the tip of his tongue comes out and lightly wets his own. 

Quietly inhaling, you decide attack is the best tactic, and reach out, putting your hand around the back of Javier’s head. 

“Are you going to talk about your jeans or kiss me, Javier?” you ask, and you just have time to see the glint in his eyes, before he leans forward. 

His hand comes up and grabs your jaw, cupping your cheek as his thumb moves across your lips, holding it for a beat before he’s on you. His lips are as soft as they look, molding to your mouth, gently probing to let him in. Your hand tangles into the thick hair at the back of his head, holding on as he pushes forward, widening your legs around his hips, pressed against the cupboard. With a low moan you part your lips to his tongue and he responds, a groan, as he wraps his free arm around your waist, his hand finding your hip and pulling you towards him. The jeans do nothing to hide his growing arousal as you slide right up against his crotch, his kisses are soft but the way he holds you tight, is heated. 

You hook your hand into his belt loop and tug him closer, feeling him roll his hips against you as the taste of the cake and his strong coffee overpowers your senses, his tongue sliding around yours. He’s exploring, his large hand sliding over your jaw, the rough pad of his thumb caressing your skin and finding spots that make you moan and tremble under his touch. It doesn’t take him long to figure out that a gentle nip on your lower lip makes you arch your back and press into him. He makes the most of it as his hand slides up to splay flat over your shoulder blades, holding you close as he continues to explore your mouth.. 

Heat is making your core ache, he’s hard against you, the texture of the denim rubbing against you with each lazy roll of his hips and you have to pant into his mouth, pulling back from him to catch your breath. 

Javier kisses the corner of your mouth as you tip your head back with a groan, drawing a deep breath, and then moves over your jaw, his teeth scraping over your skin, his tongue coming out to taste and lick as he trails kisses down to your neck. When he sinks his teeth into the flesh just under your ear you whimper and grip hard at his hair, hearing him groan against you. He places a wet kiss on the mark his teeth have left and straightens up, looking down at you with half closed eyes. 

“I fucking hated that blind date guy,” Javier growls, still standing close enough for you to feel every twitch of his hard length between your legs, “I should’ve told you to ditch him and asked you to come out with me instead.” 

“I would’ve ditched him, Javier,” you reply, letting your fingers trail over his five o’clock shadow and brush the edge of his mustache.

“So let me take you out tonight instead, finish what we started, cariño.” 

His hands are distracting, one rubbing firm circles over your back, down to your hips, kneading the soft flesh. The other one still on your neck, caressing your cheek, your hair, his thumb tracing the outline of your lips as he keeps his eyes locked on yours. 

“I have to get up at three am, Javier,” you whisper, his lips finding yours again and you lose your train of thought. 

“Rain check,” he mumbles against your mouth, “What are you doing on Sunday night? You don’t work on Mondays.” 

“There’s this guy,” you reply, smiling as he pulls back a fraction to look down at you, one eyebrow raised, “He wears these really tight jeans and I think I should find out if he’s got the goods to back them up”.

“Oh he does,” Javier growls, tugging you closer and making you open your mouth to his eager tongue, pulling a breathless moan from you as he wraps his arms around you again.  

Part Seven

Tag list: @harriedandharassed @inept-the-magnificent @sheepdogchick3  @readingiskeepingmegoing @noisynightmarepoetry @survivingandenduring @vabeachazn @amyispxnk @oberynslady @vabeachazn

[copperbadge]

[ID: A large black minivan parked on a street in Chicago; the van has a bright logo painted on the side that reads "Brush Hour: Mobile Car Wash and Auto Spa" with a red, white, and green racing-stripe style border beneath the name. This is a play on the term "rush hour" implying that they will do a great fast job on your car.]

Didn't really have anything to show for NaClYoHo today, so here, have a photograph of a local business with a great pun in the name.

I had to go in to the office for work today, and I'm traveling from tomorrow morning through Sunday evening, so I didn't put much on my to-do list today. I did a bit of tidying, but mostly so that the catsitter doesn't think I live in filth. (Vacuumed, swept the bathroom and kitchen floors, put away all the weird shit I normally leave lying around because I live alone, etc.)

The plan for the next few days is, if I have the time, to do digital "housecleaning" like sorting files, answering emails and asks, finishing posts in draft, etc. And if I don't get anything done, the plan is also to be okay with that, because I'm traveling to see a friend and have a good time, which is important for the mental health. Visiting with her is more important than sorting my photos, and I don't want to lose sight of that.

In any case, I may be more quiet than usual for the next few days, but also possibly not, these things always depend :) But I hope you guys have a great weekend if I'm not around much, and good luck to everyone who is keepin' on!

Disposable nitrile gloves used: 6 (couldn't bring myself to use my bare hand to clear out the shampooer-lint balls that were clogging the vacuum's nozzle)

Trips to the hardware store: 2, but only because I blew off trip #3 that I'd planned for today. I'll go Monday. I wasn't planning to use anything I was going to buy before then anyway....

[graneymar]

#5.2 NEYMAR JR: ONE NIGHT IN IBIZA (Part 1)

SUMMARY: You and Neymar are back from vacation, finally facing different sides of having a public relationship.

WARNINGS: none actually, some fluff with a minimum of angst and the smallest minimum of smut (literally just one dirty sentence)

PAIRING: Neymar x fem!reader

After spending our last few days in Ibiza, I decided I would stay with Neymar in Paris for another week before I had to leave for my studies.

We arrived only a few hours ago and spent the rest of the day cuddling up in his bed, watching movies and our favorite shows. My phone lit up - an Instagram notification about Neymar tagging me in his story. I smiled at him and shortly pecked his cheek. Since the public found out about us, he wouldn’t go a day without tagging or posting me - he literally mentioned me whenever and wherever he could. "How do you feel about being in the public now?", he asked and took his eyes off of the tv to glance at me. I shrugged, "It's been okay so far I guess. I'm just really hoping I will not get treated differently in university now. And I hope your fangirls will not overcrowd my office once I'm finished." He chuckled before kissing my hand he was holding in his. Those hazel eyes that always looked at me in love and admiration suddenly darkened. Oh, I knew what he had in mind. "Ney, I'm too tired today", I exclaimed laughing while he didn’t seem to care as he climbed on top of me. "Can’t wait to fuck you in your own office, Ms. Lawyer", he smirked before the two of us shared a long, passionate kiss that quickly led to another fun activity.

The next morning I woke up to see Neymar wasn’t in bed anymore. It wasn’t anything new, he always got up earlier than me. When I heard his annoyed groans and cursing though, I got a little worried. Slowly opening the bedroom door, I tiptoed my way into the living room, where I found Neymar talking on his phone. "Yeah okay, whatever. I'll be there tomorrow", he sighed out before hanging up and looking straight at me. "I have to play Saturday, training starts tomorrow." I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "Why? All you asked for was another week off? I'm leaving Sunday", the disappointment in my voice was clearly audible. "I know baby, but Kylian's injured. I can’t leave those idiots hanging", Neymar explained. My lips formed a pout as I nodded. We planned to attend the match anyway, but we were supposed to be watching together instead of me watching him playing. "I'm sorry meu amor", he mumbled while cupping my face in his hands. "Está bem [it’s fine]", I replied, even though it really wasn’t. If it would be only him playing on Saturday I’d be less worried, but him training meant even less time we would be able to spend together. "Hey", he softly said stroking my cheek, "Don't be sad, please. Let’s have some breakfast, get ready and go out, hm?"

Our day went just as planned. Honestly, I've been excited and nervous about going out with Neymar since it would be the first time everyone would see as the couple we actually were, not just friends like we pretended to be before. To my surprise though, there were no paparazzi, barely even any fans interrupting our shopping tour - and most of the fans that came up to us simply wanted to take a picture with Neymar and greeted me nicely. So far, so good, I thought. Until we got out of the sushi restaurant and the paparazzi were already waiting outside. I gasped at the amount of cameras that were directed at me, my body twitched everytime another flashlight lit up. "Que merda [shit]", Neymar mumbled to himself and reached out for my hand. I instantly grabbed his,l while my other hand was busy covering my face. As he started walking through the crowd to get to his car, he squeezed my hand a little tighter. One of the paparazzi shoved his camera right into my face. "Step away from her please", Neymar politely yet demanding said - ignorance being the only response. That one paparazzi got even closer to me, almost tearing apart Neymars and my intertwined hands. He started asking questions like how we both met; why Neymar would be dating me in the first place and finally, if I had serious intentions with Neymar or if it was just money, fame and attention that I was after. That was enough for Neymar to lose his shit. He pushed the camera away from me, making it hit the paparazzi right into his face. "I said step away from her! Filho da puta [son of a bitch]", he shouted out through gritted teeth, pulling me closer to him. As soon as we approached his car, he quickly opened the passenger door for me, slightly pushing me in to avoid anyone else getting closer to me than they were supposed to. Taking a few deep breaths I started calming down a little, instinctively grabbing Neymars hand as soon as he dropped himself next to me. "How did they even know where we're at?", I asked, my voice still a little shaky. Neymar stroked my hand with his thumb while checking his phone. "Oh fuck", he mumbled and turned his phone in my direction, "I thought I saved it as a draft but I must’ve accidentally posted it. I'm so sorry babe." How clever, a photo of our food and the damn location. I tried to keep my angry facial expression while staring at him, but finally bursted out into laughter. He looked at me, relieved but confused. "Why are you laughing? I thought you’d be mad at me."

"I am, actually", I raised my brows at him, "but that’s so typically Neymar. This is something that can only happen to you and no one else, honestly." He shrugged, his lips pressed into a thin line, looking at me with puppy eyes before finally giving me a short kiss and starting the car.

The next few days went by quite ordinary. While Neymar was at training, I tried to distract myself by cleaning the apartment, cooking or simply taking a walk outside. When the day of his match arrived though, the anxiety broke through me again. "Baby, don’t worry! Guilherme and Gil will be with you. I got you seats far from the fans", Neymar reassured me as he tried to calm me down. God, if he only knew I wasn’t scared of the fans but the media talking shit about me again. When the paparazzi caught us back in Ibiza, I instantly got compared to Neymars ex girlfriends, saying I looked nothing like them, talking badly about my appearance, my body, even how I wasn’t photogenic. I truly didn’t care about what they said about how I looked. I was confident enough to ignore it and as long as Neymar viewed me the way he did, I couldn’t care less about how others saw me. When the media started talking trash about our relationship, saying I was just enjoying the luxurious lifestyle Neymar brought to my life and I apparently was only interested in his money, fame and attention though - that actually hurt me. It was hard enough for Neymar to open up after so many people took advantage of him, building up his trust in me was an entire process. I was afraid they would come up with some story that would make him doubt my love for him or even overthink our relationship. But I refused to tell him about what was actually bothering me. I didn’t want to make a scene before anything even happened.

"I have to go now", Neymar finally said, quickly kissing my cheek, "I'll see you there. Gil calls you once he’s here to pick you up!"

The first half of the match went pretty calm, no goals and not too many fouls. I was just happy I didn’t really get noticed by anyone. Only ten minutes into the second half, Neymar scored the first goal for PSG. Guilherme, Gil and I got up from our seats, clapping and cheering. That was when Neymar jogged up to our side of the field and blowed me a kiss with a wide smile on his face. I felt my cheeks blushing as all heads in the crowd turned in my direction. Gil noticed how uncomfortable I gor and decided to distract the crowd by blowing a kiss back to Ney, screaming out "Oh my God, I love you Neymar" in a high pitched voice, acting like a fangirl. I started laughing and sat down again. "That’s Neymars girlfriend, she’s so pretty", a girl a few rows in front of me said. I smiled at her widely as her boyfriend turned around to look at me. "Bruna is prettier", he simply stated. I tilted my head, my smile widened in a provocative way and I waved at him before showing him my middle finger. Guilherme started laughing while Gilmar almost choked on his drink. "Y/N, you can’t do that", he said, "Your Neymar Jrs girlfriend! Adding to that, you’ll be a lawyer soon." I shrugged my shoulders and continued to watch the match. "And what about it? Aren’t lawyers allowed to fight and defend themselves outside of the court?" Guilherme held his hand up for a high five that I returned.

The match ended, PSG won 2-0. The boys and I were waiting for Neymar outside the stadium. "Hey babe", Neymar greeted me and kissed my cheek, Marco following closely behind him. "So you wanna come over to my place and celebrate the win?", Marco asked after politely nodding at me. Neymars facial expression turned from happy into sad as he heavily breathed out. "I can’t", he responded, wrapping one arm around my shoulder, "Y/N leaves tomorrow." Marcos nod told us he was absolutely understanding. "It’s sucks you're already leaving, but it was a pleasure to see you again", he grinned and hugged me before we said our goodbyes and got into our cars.

At the airport, I hid my face in Neymars chest, refusing to let him go as the tears continued to stream down my face. By the way his body slightly flinched from time to time, I knew he was close to tears as well. "Calm down meu anjo, I promise I'll do everything I can to visit you as soon as possible", he whispered, stroking the back of my head and kissing my forehead. I looked up at him and saw a single tear rolling down his cheek. "I love you so much", I sobbed, hugging him even tighter than before, "I really can’t do this anymore. I can’t be this far away from you all the time." Neymar pulled away a bit, only so much that we were face to face. "I'll be there soon, I promise you Y/N. Please keep on focusing on your studies. No matter what happens, I'm right here waiting for you - or waiting for you to call me over. I love you." The last call for my flight. I grabbed my suitcase and fell right into his arms for the ultimate time. "I love you", I repeated again and again until I finally walked away from him slowly, not able to take my eyes off of him.

[lost-girl-2021]

Days Into Decades

I was unexpectedly busy today, so here's the first scene of Chapter fourteen for Days Into Decades, I'll try to post the whole chapter on Ao3 tomorrow!

Spider usually slept in late on the weekends, when he could. He’d never been a morning person, typically half-asleep until his second or third class of the day. His first night in Quaritch’s apartment, he’d spent nearly an hour tossing and turning in bed before finally falling asleep. He was surprised that he didn’t wake up throughout the night like he usually did when particularly anxious. It was a small mercy, considering how late he’d fallen asleep and the loud knocking at his door before the clock even hit double digits.

His father apparently woke up with the sun and called nine in the morning sleeping in. Spider was half-tempted to ignore him, but the bedroom door only had one of those dumb push-button locks that could be undone with a quarter or particularly long fingernail. Reluctantly, he changed into a pair of dark jeans and a fresh t-shirt (that may or may not have belonged to Lo’ak), slipping on his sneakers without bothering to tie the laces. He half-heartedly brushed he teeth, pulling his hair back into a barely-contained bun to deal with later. He wasn’t planning on leaving the apartment until Sunday, so effort didn’t seem necessary.

By the time he slid into the kitchen chair across from Quaritch, he was ready to go back to bed, slumping on the table. The man set a plate of food in front of him, better than anything Spider would’ve been able to cook himself. The eggs weren’t burnt or accidentally scrambled like Spider’s usually ended up, and the toast didn’t have any scorch marks. He still loaded it with pepper before stuffing his face wordlessly. 

“Hungry?” He asked sarcastically as Spider started on his second egg. The boy glanced up, shrugged, and took another bite.

He noticed that across the table, Quaritch only had a cup of coffee. It was weird— why make food when he wasn’t even hungry? Spider was too tired to overthink it, chugging down the glass of water in front of him.

“Can I have coffee?” He asked, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

Quaritch tossed a napkin his way, shaking his head. “Ask me again in two years.”

“I’ve had it before.”

Mr. Sully let Neteyam have a cup on the way to school most mornings and Spider was allowed to sip at the admittedly gross drink. If his friend (who everyone seemed to forget was younger than Spider) was allowed to drink it, than so could he.

“It’ll stunt your growth.”

Spider hadn’t known that. He sighed, taking another sip of water. “Fine.”

“Do you own any pants without holes in them?” He asked suddenly, raising an eyebrow. The right knee of Spider’s pants was torn open in a crooked gash, revealing his bandaged leg underneath. The left side had a smaller tear, sure to grow the next time he washed the pants.

“It’s called style.” And the result of a lot of skateboarding accidents.

Quaritch rolled his eyes. “You look like a hipster. All you need is a man-bun— oh, wait.”

“Ha-ha. At least I look cool.”

“Puh-lease. I invented cool, son.” He gestured towards his tank top and cargo pants. “The only reason you’re so cool is because you got it from Paz and me.”

Paz. His heart skipped a beat, but he tried to play it cool. “Mom I believe, but you? You wouldn’t know something good if it hit you in the face.”

He half-expected the man to reach across the table and slap him from the insult. Instead, he just snorted, taking another bite of food.

“Yeah, sure, tiger. Let’s see how cool you are the next time you scrape your knee.”

Spider flushed, sinking in his seat. “What-ever. I don’t need all that antiseptic stuff. I’ve probably got, like, immunity to everything by now from eating dirt as a kid.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“You sound like Neteyam.” He grumbled. “Yeast isn’t just dead bugs, Spider. You can’t eat flowers when you’re hungry. Like, geez, how was I supposed to know that? If Kiri says I can eat a sunflower, I’m gonna eat a sunflower.”

Quaritch looked at him like he’d grown a second head. “You can eat sunflower seeds, from the gas station. But, you shouldn’t just go around eating stuff. You’ll get pesticide poisoning that way.”

Spider was too tired for a lecture. “Why’d you wake me up so early? The sun’s barely up.”

“It’s almost ten already. And we’ve got a busy day.” His father grinned. “I think it’s time you meet your uncle.”

[universeofmuses]

//forgot to post the next chapter last night. Here you go :)

A/N: I do not own the characters, concepts, and so on, this is my first try so please play nice kids. Enjoy.

Sunday was a pretty uneventful day as the four teens were physically dragging trough the day because of the lack of sleep, trying to study for the quiz that their teacher was preparing for them. Even Dr. O was having a hard time concentrating on writing the quiz as his attention was very clearly divided between his work, his dream, and the clear fatigue that has been with him since he heard 'the voice' and began working on the main computer in his basement/command center.

As the day wore on it became clear to Dr. O that there was no disturbance in the morphing grid nor anywhere else, so with the information that was generated from the computer he let out a sigh of relief and chalked up the dream and unshakeable feeling like a large battle was coming to just working too hard at school and being a ranger teammate/mentor to his students. Having felt at ease Dr. O finished up on the quiz he was going to give to his class tomorrow and decided to go to bed early, meanwhile his four ranger teammates where busy cramming worried about the impending quiz thanks to Kira's playful mood with Dr. O as she helped him out the previous day.

(Monday Morning, Reefside High)

As the students of Reefside high where in class chatting away unknowingly that their teacher was about to surprise them with a quiz, while the four rangers furiously flipped through pages of their science book for the quiz,

"Ok everyone lets take our seats, we're going to start out this week with a pop quiz." Dr. O announced as the whole class let out an anxious groan,

"So lets clear off the desks and get started." Dr. O commanded,

As the students complied Dr. O started to hand out the quizzes, Conner was clearly struggling to get through the quiz but Ethan, Trent, and Kira were getting though a little bit better than Conner was. Ten minuets later Dr. O called for the quiz, as he picked up the last stack of quizzes he began his lecture.

"Ok, who can tell me when the Triassic period started?"

The rest of the class went routinely enough until the bell rang signaling the end of class,

"Ok class that enough for today but don't forget to read chapter 9 and answer the questions on page 91 for next class." Dr. O said as the students gathered up their things to leave. The rest of the day went pretty uneventful until after school,

"Dr. Oliver, I need to have a word with you." Said principal Randall,

"Uh, sure what on your mind principal Randall?" came Dr. O's replied as he stopped gathering up his things to call it a day.

"I've heard that you have quite the collection of artifacts, could I see them?" Randall asked with a hopeful tone to her voice,

"Um, I don't know-"Dr. O started,

"Please Dr. Oliver, I would love to know what you have hidden away in your private collection." She said,

"Well, ok you can follow me to my house." Dr. O finally said giving in to his boss' request,

"Great I cant wait" she said with a mischievous grin on her face as they walked out of the room and turned the corner, at the moment they turned the corner the woman from the gym had turned the opposite corner looking very nervous about meeting Dr. Oliver. When she reached the science lab and tried to turn the handle, she couldn't because it was locked, she then look around though the window in the door and noticed that it was empty meaning that she had just missed him.

"Damm it, looks like I just missed him I'll have to try his house." She said out loud.

(Dr. Oliver's residence, outskirts of Reefside)

"And this piece I found on my doctoral internship with Anton Mercer." Dr. O said as he held up a little rock with a tiny fossilized fish in it,

"What's in here?" Randall asked as she lifted the lid of a miniature Ark of the Convent to reveal the thought lost Dragon Power Coin,

"Don't lift it." Dr. O said as he slammed the lid back down on the box,

"Whoa, what did I do?" she asked backing away with her hands up,

"Nothing it's just some of these artifacts are sensitive to the air." Dr. O said as a cover as to why he had freaked out when Randall opened the box that contained his old power coin.

"Oh sorry, I didn't know." Randall apologized,

"Its ok, you couldn't have known." He said, when all of a sudden he noticed a Tyrano-drone lurking outside though the window,

"Oh my god" Dr. O said as he tried to sound surprised,

"What? What's wrong?" she asked as she noticed the worried expression on Dr. O's face,

"Its those things that have been attacking the city." Dr. O explained,

"We got to get away." Randall said worried,

"Yeah I'll hold them off while you get to safety." He said as his strength returned,

"Are you going to be ok?" she asked,

"Yeah when I was younger I use to compete in marshal arts competitions all the time, it's like riding a bike." He said,

"Even so, you're not a young teenager anymore." Randall said, he then looked at her with a look of anger and thought,

"Why is my age such a big deal to everyone, I mean I'm not that old."

"Now go." He said as he ran out the door to take out the Tyrano-drones in his front yard, but there was a lot more there then he had though. He thought about morphing but decided he couldn't risk Randall finding out about his 'extracurricular activities' so he had no choice but fight them with out his powers. For every one drone he took town two more would take its place, it was becoming too much for him as the large group was beginning to surround him. Then he saw something that reassured him that it was not as bad as it looked, a white and black streak ran through the drones and cased sparks to fly as it ran by them, when the streak was no longer visible the white dino-thunder ranger was visible kneeling down with the phased Tyrano-drones behind him as the drones slowly fell down around Dr. O,

"Wow, that was amazing thank you helping me White Ranger." Dr. O said as he quickly approached the ranger to make sure he wouldn't spill the beans on their secret,

"What are you talking about-" Trent asked,

"Principal Randall was here when they attacked and I don't know if she is still here." Dr. O explained in a hushed volume so only Trent could hear,

"What are you talking about, no one is here besides you, me, and the scraps of the drones." Trent responded,

"Oh, then she must have gotten to safety then." Dr. O said,

"POWER DOWN!" Trent called out to demorph just as a pink Pontiac Firebird drove up and the one person that Dr. Oliver never expected to see got out of the car.

(Conner's car)

Conner sat in his car on his way home from a long day at school, but he couldn't shake the image of Kira laying lifeless in a dark room with a blue tube in front of her. It was a feeling of helplessness, like something big was about to go down and there was nothing that anyone could do to stop it; like the events in his dream was inevitable. When he got home he got out of his car and went inside and went straight for his room to continue his line of thought until, he stepped on a small bag of half eaten cheetos. As he sat down at his desk with his backpack and got out his math book to start on his homework when he looked up and saw a picture of him and the others on the team, he himself was behind Kira hugging her waist as they both smiled with a warm glow. At that he felt something inside of him grow,

"I have to make sure that dream never comes to pass, I need to fight harder to make sure that no one on this team get hurt; even if it means that I have to make the ultimate sacrifice." Conner said sounding like a true blue red ranger, but deep down inside he had to admit to himself that he was crazy for Kira.

(Kira's room)

Kira was working to keep her concentration on her book report for her English class, when she suddenly stopped and threw her pencil down on the paper and leaned back in her chair to try and clear her head. The dream she had about Conner dieing at the hands of some freaky monkey was too much for her to bear, she was going crazy trying to figure out what her dream meant but then she had an idea of who to ask,

"Hey mom, I'm going to Hayley's for a while" Kira called out to her mother,

"Ok honey just be back in time for dinner, its taco night." Mrs. Ford replied,

Kira needed to talk to someone knowledgeable to get their take on her dream, and make sure she wasn't losing it.

(Mysterious Island Lair)

Elsa returned to the lab on the hidden fortress through an invisa-portal with a rather triumphant grin on her face,

"What are you so happy about?" asked Zeltrax with a clearly jealous tone in his voice,

"Well I so happy because I got the power source that we need for the plan." Elsa replied very smugly as she held up the Dragon Power Coin!

"Elsa, good work recovering the power source needed to power the weapon of the rangers final destruction." Mesogog hissed in approval,

"Thank you my lord, just allow me to make the following changes to the machine to allow it to draw power from the power coin." Elsa replied,

"How long do you need Elsa?" Mesogog asked,

"It should be ready by this time tomorrow." Elsa replied with a look of fear that her answer would set off her master,

"Please proceed, Elsa and alert me when you are done. Oh and Zeltrax help Elsa with anything she may need." Mesogog commanded as his henchmen scurried of to their respective tasks.

(Outside Dr. O's house)

"Hey Tommy, I guess you just cant leave this behind huh?" asked the woman,

"Dr. O, you ok? Who is she?" asked Trent trying to snap his mentor out of his haze,

"Yeah . . . I guess I cant. Trent this is Kimberly Hart the first Pink Ranger and my First Love." Dr. O replied as he fainted.

[vendetta-if]

Writing Update (8 August 2022)

Hey guys. I have quite a lot of things to cover on this writing update post, and I also come bearing some good news today 💖 Since it'll be quite long, I'll keep it under the cut. Strap in!

First, Chapter 2 has now reached a total of 45,949 words excluding commands (around 15k words added in around a week) 🎉 It's so big that I decided to split it into two separate files, just in case one big file can lag some browsers. The first part is 21,446 words and the second part, which focuses on MC's birthday party, is 24,483 words currently and will increase more as I'm nearing the end of the chapter.

I was tempted to actually label the second part of Chapter 2 as Chapter 3, but I'll leave both parts as Chapter 2 for now. Maybe I'll make a poll, later on, to see whether readers will feel it more fitting to actually separate and label them as different chapters 🤔

Second, I'm sorry for not being able to answer any asks today 😔 I've been busy spending my whole Sunday afternoon tracking down and fixing a bug on the looping conversations coding that would've messed up almost the whole part two of the chapter. Thankfully, I did manage to find out what was wrong and fix it immediately today 😮‍💨 I was worried about having to spend more days resolving it.

Third, I have finally passed the section where I had to write and code a lot of variations to the conversations you'd be able to have with various characters during the party. I think it's one of the most time-consuming sections in the chapter 😭

Now, according to my calculation, I just need to write the last 1/4 of the chapter, and then I'll run the whole chapter through a grammar check to get rid of as many typos and grammatical errors, while also polishing the chapter even more. After that's all done, I'll send the chapter to a small group of my friends to test to make sure there are no more game-breaking bugs and errors. And finally, I'll be ready to update it publicly! I really can’t wait for you guys to finally be able to play and enjoy it 😁

Whew, that's a long writing update! Well, it's currently 1:30 A.M. where I am right now, and my brain hurts from thinking of the codings all day long 😵‍💫 I'm going to bed now, and hopefully I'll be able to answer some asks tomorrow morning. See you guys then! 🥰

[itsdanii]

Hurting his s/o's feelings

genre: slight angst to fluff

terminologies used: y/n - your name; f/a - favorite anime

ft. ushijima wakatoshi

You're aware of how straightforward Ushijima can be but it can't be helped that sometimes, his words affect you more than you expect

tsukishima's part

It was Saturday night and you can't help but smile, knowing that your boyfriend will be home soon from practice. It had been a weekly routine of yours to cuddle and watch a new episode of your favorite anime every Saturday night when the episode is released to catch up with your boyfriend's busy schedule.

Lately, he had been skipping your routine, always coming home late because of practice and leaving you to watch the episode all by yourself. Despite that, you were still hopeful every single time that he'd come home early to spend quality time.

With the blankets and pillows arranged perfectly on the couch for both you and your boyfriend's comfort, you put a hand on your hip to check if everything was in place. You gave a small nod and sat on the couch, eyes staring at the door, hoping that it will soon reveal Wakatoshi.

Five minutes passed and your boyfriend was still nowhere inside your shared apartment. Furrowing your brows together and sighing in frustration and anticipation, you took your phone and sent a message to him.

Y/n: Baby, where are you? It's getting late, I miss you :((

After ten minutes of waiting, he finally replied, a frown immediately making its way to your face upon reading his message.

Babe: I'm sorry, y/n. Practice finished late today but I'm on my way home already.

Y/n: Okay, careful on your way home. I love you ❤️

You sighed and placed your phone on your lap, a slight feeling of disappointment settling inside your chest.

When the door finally opened, you instantly stood up and made your way to Wakatoshi, your arms immediately wrapping around his neck as you buried your face on his chest. "Missed you," you mumbled affectionately.

"Y/n, let go. I'll go take a shower first," Wakatoshi said before unwrapping your arms and making his way to your shared bedroom, leaving you alone once again.

You took another glance at your bedroom door when 20 minutes had gone by but your boyfriend hadn't stepped out yet. The episode you were waiting for was already released and several spoilers were now posted on the internet.

You stood up and made your way inside your room, your eyes widening to your boyfriend already asleep.

"I guess he's really tired..." you whispered, thinking that you could just watch the episode tomorrow. For now, you'll let your boyfriend rest despite the feeling of disappointment.

-

With your eyes still closed, you reached out your arm only to pat the empty space beside you. Your eyes immediately fluttered open, curious as to where Ushijima is.

You stood up and caught sight of the paper placed on top of your bedside table, Wakatoshi's neat writing present on the sheet.

Went to the gym to practice my spikes with Tendou. I'll be home late.

"Again? It's Sunday..." you muttered to yourself.

It wasn't fair that you were the only one trying to exert effort in this relationship. So, with a heavy sigh, you quickly showered and decided to visit your boyfriend's practice.

"Toshi," you called out as soon as you stepped inside.

Satori's eyes immediately wandered to your form, a goofy smile adorning his face. "Look, it's your s/o!"

You gave Satori a small smile and made your way to your boyfriend, irritation visible on his features at being interrupted mid-spike.

"Y/n, what are you doing here? I'm practicing, haven't you read the message I left at home?"

You put a hand on your hip at his tone, chin slightly lifting up to look up at him. "It's Sunday, why are you practicing?"

"It is needed to further enhance my skills," he simply answered.

"I-" You gave Tendou a side-eye, which he immediately understood. You waited for the red-hair to leave before continuing. "You were home late last night, and we were supposed to watch the new episode of f/a but you fell asleep on me. This morning, I woke up, expecting some quality time with my boyfriend, only to see an empty space beside me and a letter saying that he went to practice. Just-"

"I have to practice. You wouldn't understand because all you do is stay at home and laze around."

You froze. No words managed to slip past your lips as you stared at your boyfriend with your now glossy eyes. "You're unfair," you said shakily before walking out with tears falling on your cheeks.

-

You stared at the television as the episode ended. Your eyes were still puffy from crying awhile ago and your cheeks were still flushed. Even your nose was still a bit runny and tissues were littered beside you.

You ignored the sound of the door opening and the footsteps of your boyfriend. Instead, you stood up and made your way inside your room and covered yourself with the blanket while facing the wall.

"Y/n..." you hear the apologetic voice of Ushijima, the bed creaking as he slid his way to you.

You ignored him, eyes closed with your back on him.

"My love, I'm sorry for being insensitive awhile ago. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," Ushijima said with a gentle voice, his arm circling your waist to pull you flush against his chest. The smell of his shampoo filled your nose, reminding you that he must've showered before coming home.

"I'm not even mad at you for forgetting our movie night. It's just... I feel like I'm the only one in this relationship. I love how you're passionate about volleyball but Toshi...you're so passionate that sometimes you forget that there's someone waiting for you at home. I just want to feel appreciated and loved..." you cried.

"Hey, baby, look at me." Wakatoshi spun you around and sat you up, putting you on his lap and cupping your cheeks. "Baby, look at me, please."

You opened your eyes and stared at him, surprised that his eyes were teary as well.

"I'm sorry. I won't try to make any excuses because what I did was wrong but I promise that I will try my best to put you as my priority. I'm so sorry, my love," he whispered before placing a kiss on your forehead.

You nodded silently, arms clinging around him as if you were afraid that he'll disappear if you let go. "You promise?"

"I promise."

You smiled against his neck, hand clutching the back of his shirt as you slowly drifted off to sleep.

Ushijima stared at your sleeping figure, his fingers gently combing your hair as he gave another kiss on your forehead. "Sleep well, my love. I'll be here when you wake up. From now on, I'll always be."

[themonotonysyndrome]

REDACTED verse - Guardian angels

Prompt: any fandom / any pairing / “everything is going to be okay” kisses

Word Count: 2,650

Author/Team: LadyMonotone

Fandom/Original: Redacted ASMR (David Shaw/Angel. Freelancer/Gavin + Damien, Lasko, Huxley & Caelum)

Rating: T

Triggers: Near accident. Panic attack. Angst with a happy ending. 

Summary: Guardian angels can be the most unlikely people you ever come across. That includes a group of college students. 

ConCrit: Y

OK, so, first off. A bit of a warning for this oneshot. I’ve never written anything about a vehicle accident or panic attacks so I did some research and read some references. So yeah... 

I meant to post this last weekend but it turned out be a hectic Saturday and Sunday for me. Oh well. 

I’ll be editing this oneshot again tomorrow so please excuse me for any grammar or spelling mistakes. It’s quite late in the evening here in my country, but I really wanted to post this oneshot today. 

-

A split second is enough to change a person's life. Be it for the better or worse. 

A left here, a right turn after the bakery shop on the path that Angel thought was right towards their new job, ended up turning into theirs and David's first meeting. They may be late for their first day of work, but it ended with a happy ending and a man that will one day become their husband. 

Today, however, what was supposed to be a relatively normal Wednesday turned out for the worst for Angel. 

It's a windy Wednesday, signalling that Autumn is fast approaching. The trees that line the streets bear its dark orange leaves where the passing breeze carries every falling one. Pedestrians are milling about in thick coats, scarves and boots - some are rushing back to work after their lunch break while others are trying to catch the next bus or Uber to head to their next destination. You could also smell the scent of pumpkin and cinnamon pastries wafting from the nearby bakeries. 

Walking down the streets with a pep in their step, Angel is glad that they could end work earlier than usual. Their team had successfully launched a project that they've been working hard on and losing sleep over for days (David was not happy about that), so their bosses allow Angel and their team members to pack it up and spend the rest of their day resting at home. 

Angel wasted no time packing their laptop and notebooks. They shouted their goodbyes to their colleagues and left for home after their lunch break. 

With a phone in their hands, Angel stops beside the signal traffic light at the pedestrian crossing. They press the button and continue to text David. 

'Yup. I ate with my friends before I left. I'm planning to do the laundry after my shower and probably play some Minecraft or something.'

Not a minute later, David sends his reply. 

'The new laundry detergent is in our storage. I couldn't find the lavender fragrance, so I bought the one with rose-scented. Where are you now? Do you want me to pick you up and drive you home?'

'Got it and nah. I'm nearing the bus stop now. The next bus should be coming in a few minutes. Besides, aren't you busy at that magical school today?'

Angel glances up from their phone. Vehicles rush through the road while the signal traffic light is still flashing red. Their attention returns to the phone when it chimes once more. 

'We're discussing the security rotation and details with the faculties and teaching staff now for the Games. The most important things are out of the way so Asher can take over for an hour. I can pick you up.'

'It's cool, Davey. I'll see you at home. I love you!'

Just as Angel sent their text, the light for the pedestrian crossing switch to green. They nudged the straps of their bag higher on their shoulders and began walking with their eyes occasionally glancing down at their phone.

Angel is too focus on their phone to hear the screams and shouts in the background and the screeching tires and blaring horn becoming louder. It's only when something big is approaching from their right did Angel blink and look. 

"Wait! What are you - "

"No, don't!

"You can't - "

" - too many people! Risk of Covert - "

"Lasko!"

"I-I can try! Wait - "

Angel couldn't hear anything. At that moment, all they could see is the head of the truck seconds away from their face, and their heart froze. 

"What are you doing!? Freelancer - "

Everything happens in a split second; someone grabs Angel's backpack and yank them backwards with enough force that they both fall on the pavements. Arms immediately latch themselves onto Angel and pull them away from the crossroads just in the nick of time that a rushing wind blew past them. 

What comes afterwards is a loud crash and the screeching tires that are so loud that they nearly shatter the eardrums. More people start to scream and shout. 

The arms around Angel immediately let go, and not even a second later, they find themselves surrounded by a group of people. 

"Oh my god! A-Are you alright!? Are you hurt anywhere!?"

"Did someone call the ambulance already? Are they coming - "

"Already on it, dude! Fuck. That was so not fun at all!"

"Caelum? What do you - "

It's too much. Everything is too much! Angel's heart is hammering painfully; as if it's going to burst out from its ribcage. The shadows surrounding them and the cacophony of noises makes the world shrink tighter and tighter around them. 

Overwhelmed, shocked, frightened and disbelieve could hardly begin to describe what Angel is going through right now. 

"Guys, guys, back off a moment! Give us some space, please." Someone from Angel's left pleads. It sounds like they were having trouble speaking too. 

Immediately, the tall shadows that were surrounding Angel rush away from their immediate area. Far out that Angel feels like they could breathe again yet near enough to offer help when needed. 

Angel's head is spinning. Their brain struggles to process where they are and what has just happened. Their heart is still beating like an erratic hummingbird. 

"Can... can you hear me?" That same voice who ushered the crowd away gingerly asked. Angel blinks. They look down at their hands and realise that they're sitting on the rough pavement with their phone nowhere in sight. 

"W-What just - " Angel stutters, eyes slowly widening. Their body starts to shake once the adrenaline begins to wear off. It was a good thing that they had already ended up on the floor because Angel could hardly feel their legs at the moment. 

Wait. Their hands... their phone! What - 

"Whoa, don't!"

"I don't think you should - "

"You don't need to look at... it."

Three young men quickly huddle together to block the view in front of Angel when they jerk their head up towards the pedestrian walk. Their eyes search around, wildly. Oh fuck. Oh shit. The truck! They nearly died -

"They're starting to have a panic attack, Deviant!" 

Angel couldn't breathe; it feels like the air is sucking out of them. A pair of invisible hands choking them all of a sudden with their head spinning. It doesn't help with the blaring sirens in the distance. 

"Hey, hey... easy. Easy there." A gentle and kind voice pierce through the chaos around Angel like a beacon of light in the dark. "Take a deep breath with me; come on. You can do it. One... OK, let go. Again. Two... let go. Good job. Three... yes, you're getting it! Four.. let go. Just a little more, c'mon on. You're doing amazing."

Angel did as instructed. They made sure to match their breathing along with the stranger on the pavement beside them. When the stranger gently ask if they could hold their hand, Angel shakily nods and squeezes back. 

"The ambulance is here." The stranger patiently informs Angel. "Do you think you can follow us to the hospital? We... both of us need to see a doctor. Is that OK?"

"Please..." Angel gasps; their chest feels so painfully tight. "Don't let go. I-I can't - "

"I won't. I'm right here." The stranger is quick to assure them. "I'm right here. We're going to go together, OK? My friends will be coming along too. You're not alone." 

Angel takes one deep breath and exhale. They nod once and finally allow the group of young men to help them get into the ambulance. They explain the situation to the emergency response team within the vehicle, fuss over Angel and the stranger before the ambulance pulls away and drive off to the hospital.  

They were all very kind to make sure that Angel couldn't see the aftermath of the crash behind them. 

-

The hospital trip, conversation with the nurses and doctor, and the check-up are a blur for Angel. Their head is still reeling with their near brush of death. The stress, anxiety and horror are still threatening to overwhelm them. 

But despite it all, the stranger kept their promise. They never let go of Angel's hand, even for a moment. Even when the doctors wanted to treat their minor injuries separately. 

Their friends are staunch pillars of support too. One by one, they introduce themselves - Damien, Lasko, Huxley and Gavin. The group are students, currently attending the local academy. The stranger introduces themselves by the nickname the boys gave them - Freelancer. Angel deduced that it must be an inside joke between them. 

After the round of introductions, they then made sure that Angel and the stranger had a water bottle with them and some snacks when Angel could stomach some food. They would constantly take turns distracting Angel and their friend by chatting about the latest movies, that one professor they're having trouble with and the newest drama circulating their academy. 

They'd even made sure that Angel feels included in their conversation by asking about their favourite food to eat whenever it rains, what's their ultimate pet peeve and even what's their favourite sweater to wear during Autumn. 

Hours went by, and before Angel knew it, evening had fallen. Angel and the stranger (their saviour!) are now waiting at the lobby to be cleared by the doctors. The group of young men are ever around them. 

"Hey, um..." The stranger suddenly interjects while the nurse finishes up their paperwork behind the counter. "Is it alright if we accompany you home? I-I just want to make sure you get there safely. "The young man beside them - Angel assume is their boyfriend -  wrap his arm around their shoulder to ground them. They throw him a weak yet grateful smile. 

The whole ordeal shook them too. They've been so strong, so it's Angel's turn to be strong for this incredible group of people too. 

"You don't have to. You all... are so very kind." Angel said quietly. Their voice might be devoid of their usual cheer and liveliness, but Angel wants to convey their sincerity. "If it weren't for you... I..." God, Angel couldn't imagine it. 

"You're alright. You're right here with us." One of the young men - Damien - is ready to calm Angel down. They notice that this one has a bit of a temper, but Angel had noticed how gentle they hugged their friend after the doctor finished checking them. "Look, your phone was... destroyed in the incident. Is there anyone you'd like us to call? We'd feel better if we knew that you're not alone."

Someone to call... Angel's heart begins to sink, their eyes wide as they remember that they were texting David! 

Seeing Angel's dramatic change in expression, Gavin quirks up a shapely eyebrow. "I take it you have a special someone that you just remembered?"

Before Angel could say anything, a voice bellowed through the lobby. "Angel!" 

Everyone except Angel flinches. They all watch, transfix, as David runs into the lobby and straight towards Angel. They didn't hesitate to throw themselves into his arms and buried themselves into his chest. Feeling how David's arms curl themselves tighter around Angel and David's murmurs of "Everything is going to be okay" accompany calming kisses on their head and cheeks finally burst the dam that Angel unconsciously has been holding in the entire day. 

Angel burst into tears. "D-Davey... oh god, Davey..."

"I'm so, so glad that you're alright, Angel," David replies with a ragged sigh. In a much quieter tone, he continues, "I thought I lost you. I thought I lost my Mate. When you didn't answer my text and when news came out that there's been a freak accident on the street across your bus stop I... I couldn't think of anything else."

Angel sniffs loudly and holds back a choked sob. Their tears are making a mess out of David's uniform, but neither they nor David cares about it. "H-How did you know where to find me?"

"Milo showed me the news about the accident on his phone. He remembers the street where you work. I... I thought of the worse when my calls to you weren't getting through." David explains. Angel could detect the pain in his voice and how his body began to shake. "After Milo told me which hospital responded to the accident, Asher took over the job, and I came here as fast as I could."

It feels good to cry. Even if they're currently in the middle of a hospital's lobby with visitors and patients walking around. They are kind enough to give Angel and David the spaces they need. 

Once the waterwork stops, Angel juts their chin upwards to stare into David's eyes that are filled with love, worry and immense relief. "I'm here because of these incredible people, Davey. One of them saved me at that pedestrian crossing." They explain and gesture to the group of college students still standing nearby the counter. 

However, their reactions confuse Angel. 

Lasko is gaping like a goldfish. Damien's mouth curved into an 'o', surprise written all over his face. Huxley tilts his head as if he's thinking hard. Gavin's eyes keep glancing at his side, where there's nothing but the air. Angel's saviour just smiles happily at the couple, oblivious to their friends' behaviour. 

It's David that breaks the strange silence amongst the group. "Thank you... for being there for my partner."

"We were fortunately at the right time and place." The Freelancer humbly reply. "I'm just glad that the both of us are alright."

David nods once. "You have my gratitude. More than you can possibly imagine." David pauses here to squeeze Angel's small body when Angel starts to sniffle. "Each one of you has earned a favour from me and my... family. If there's anything we can do to pay you all back, don't ever hesitate to come to me."

"Davey?" 

"On behalf of the group, we are honoured to receive such a high favour from you, Mr. Shaw," Damien replies, his body suddenly went rigid and his voice adopting a formal tone. "However, as our friend said, we were there at the right time and the right place to help your partner with no thoughts of a reward."

Angel and the Freelancer stare at each other, lost and confused at the sudden formality that the boys are having. 

"And b-besides," Lasko joins in on the conversation. So sweet and nervous, but he presses on, "You and your security are helping us a lot with the Games, Mr. Shaw. That's more than enough."

"That's business." David corrects him. A passing nurse who had been watching them hands some tissue to David. He quickly thanked her and proceeded to wipe Angel's wet eyes and cheeks before addressing the group. "D.A.M.N contacted my company for extra security, and that's how we treat it as such. So my offer still stands."

The Freelancer, not knowing how to respond to that, just awkwardly accept it. "If you say so... Mr. Shaw, was it?"

It's Gavin who interjects to finally clued in their partner. He snaps his fingers to make sure his explanation remains in a bubble around them. "Those guys that you've been seeing wearing the same uniform here belongs to the Shaw Security. They're also known as the Shaw Pack; the most powerful Werewolf Pack in Dahlia and the whole region. Mr. Shaw here, Deviant, is the Alpha of said Pack."

That got the Freelancer's eyes to widen in surprise. They begin to splutter out apologies for the lack of recognition; their cheeks start to reddened in embarrassment. So it's Angel's turn to save their saviour. 

They lightly tug on David's jacket to get his attention. When their boyfriend tilt his head down at them, Angel innocently blink their watery eyes and asks, "You're a Werewolf, Davey? Why did you never tell me before?"

"Wha - Angel!"

[ashhdaniellee95]

Bringing him & the crew lunch × Antonio Dawson

|Leena's POV|

It was a cold morning, when I wake up and slide out of bed to use the bathroom. I do my thing, brush my hair, wash my face and brush my teeth, and come back to the room to see my handsome husband laying in his spot on the bed, and smile.

I quietly give him a quick kiss on the lips, and head into the kitchen to make him breakfast.

I grab the carton of eggs, the milk, and sausage, and shut the door, then grab the coffee and start the coffee maker.

I grab a pan hanging from the island and put it on the stove then pour a little bit of oil in the pan.

I grab a small bowl from the cabinet and crack an egg in it, then pour it in the pan when it gets hot.

Antonio really likes his eggs with a little bit of yoke still runny, as do I.

I let the egg cook without poking the yoke, then turn it over and let it cool for a couple of seconds, then put it on a plate. As I put the other egg in the pan, i hear a creak from the floor from the bedroom, along with the creak of the door, and look over to see nothing but the door cracked open a little, and I left it closed. I think he might be trying to scare me.

I ignore the noises and continue to make breakfast for Antonio and me.

××

|Antonio's POV|

I slowly creep into the kitchen and hide behind the wall. I guess she heard the floor and door creek and looked over here, but she didn't see anything so she kept cooking.

After she turns her head back, I slowly creep forward, getting closer to her as much as I can without getting caught.

I sneak around the island and wait for the right time, then go around to her and wrap my arms around her tightly, and she jumps. "Toni, why'd you do that? I could've drop the eggs on you." I smile at her, "Oh baby, I'm sorry. I was just getting you back from the other day. I didn't mean to scare you." She smiles back, "it's okay I forgive you. I made us breakfast. Come eat." I grab my coffee and the sausage and sit at the table and wait for Leena.

She sits down with the eggs and two plates with her glass of milk then makes our plates. She gives me two eggs and a piece of sausage and does the same for her, then we dig in.

After we eat, and I get ready for work, I give Leena a kiss and head to Intelligence.

××

|Leena's POV|

After Antonio leaves for work, I wash all the dishes and put them up, then get a shower and get ready for work myself.

I have two jobs, I work during the day at a local diner/bakery as a waitress, and I'm the manager there as well, and my other job, I post ads to Instagram and Facebook whenever I have time off, or when I'm not working during the week.

I make sure I have all my stuff, my phone, purse, keys, etc. and head out the door.

I get in my Toyota 4 Runner, and put my keys in the ignition and turn on the engine. I back out of the drive way, and drive off.

20 some minutes later I pull up in my 'manager' parking spot and shut off the engine. I grab my things, lock my car and head inside through the back door.

I walk to my locker and put my things inside then close and lock it, then get to work.

When I became manager, I went from wearing a normal waitress outfit, to wearing jeans and a shirt. And the reason I became manager in the first place is because my aunt and uncle own and run this diner, and they knew I could take care of it in case they couldn't come in to run it themselves. You can do a lot of things when you're the manager at a diner.

I clock in on the machine and the register and put my apron on and get to work. Our busiest days are Sunday's and Wednesday's, and today's Monday, so it's probably not gonna be busy today.

As the day goes on, a few people come in and sit, and a few pickup/delivery orders come in over the phone. I help the customers with their orders, make sure they have plenty of drinks, and cash out a customer on the cash register.

Around 12:46 when it's dead, I tell the other waiters that I'm going on break, and tell the cook to make two egg and tomato and cheese sandwiches with our special mayo sauce, along with 4 other different things, and to make me a shredded ham and chicken salad with tomatoes, eggs, blue cheese crumbles, and bacon crumbles with plenty of avocado and avocado ranch dressing.

As he makes the food, I total everything up, and cash out with my card on the cash register.

The cooks put everything in boxes then in bags, then hands them to me and my coworker helps me take them to my car.

I thank her and grab my keys, phone and wallet and get inside my Toyota, and head off to the Intelligence unit.

××

I pull up into a guest spot and turn off the engine, then grab the food and head inside.

I greet Trudy with a smile, "hey Trudy, you hungry? I didn't know what you'd want so I brought a few different things." "Well, thank you Dawson." I smile at my last name. "Hey, can you tell Kim to come down? I want her to help me take this upstairs to the bullcage." "Of course, anything for my favorite Dawson." She winks at me. "I didn't know I was your favorite." She smiles and puts her index finger up to her lips. I smile and nod. "I won't tell. Promise." "Thank you for lunch. If you deliver, I'll call you for lunch. How much do I owe you?" I wave her off. "On the house. Don't sweat it." She smiles and thanks me as Kim comes up to me. "Hey, Lee. That lunch?" I nod my head. "For the crew. I just needed someone to help me take it upstairs. Plus, you and Trudy are the only ones who know about this, that it until we go upstairs and everyone see me with lunch." She laughs. "Alright, come on. I'll help you."

She grabs both the drink trays and a bag and we head upstairs.

She put her hand on the palm scanner and it lets her in.

We get upstairs and she tells everyone she's got lunch. "Aw, you didn't tell me you loved me." Came from Adam. "It's for everyone. Where's Antonio at?" Kevin answers, "bathroom." I nod my head. "Ah, okay. Well I've got lunch for everyone. I just got a few different things. If someone calls in a head of time, I'll get everyone what they want next time."

Everyone chimes in with "okay" and "thank you", then I hear "is that my wife?" My head swivels to see my husband coming towards me with a hug and a kiss. I smile, "I brought you and the crew lunch. My dime, so nobody owes me anything." "Well that was nice." "Yeah, it was dead over there, so I figured I'd bring lunch to you instead of someone over here coming to pick it up." I dig inside the bag until I come across a box with Antonio's name on the top, then hand it to him. "You're favorite, with fries." He kisses my forehead and goes to his desk. "Thanks."

Hank comes out of his office with a smile to greet me and he picks out his lunch.

After everyone grabs what they want, and I eat with them for a little bit, I say bye to everyone and give my husband a kiss, then head back downstairs to Trudy.

"Trudy I'm heading out. I'll see you tomorrow." She smiles, "Bye kiddo."

As I walk out the front door, I hear someone say "hey baby, wait up." from behind me and know who it is, so I stop at the door. "Let me walk you to your car. Since you know, it's cold and all." I smile at him. "Okay." He walks with me to my car, holding the extra stuff in his hands as we walk.

When we get to my car, I unlock it and he puts the stuff in the back seat and shuts the door.

I lean my back up against my driver's side door, and he stands in front of me with a smile on his face. "What's the smile for?" I ask. I see him look down, then back up. "No reason. Just that I love seeing you come bring us lunch is all." I look at him sideways, "Mmhmm. Yeah, okay." "It was really good. Everyone loved their food." "Yeah, I don't mind every once in a while, just as long as everyone let's me know what they want ahead of time." "I'll be sure to remember that." We stay like that for a few more minutes before I speak up. "I have to go, Toni." He nods his head. "Okay, I'll see you later at home. Love you." I smile at him, and lean up towards him and give him a kiss, "love you too." He opens my door, and let's me get in, before he smiles at me, his breath showing in the winter cold, and shuts the door and then I head back to the diner.

[pidge2080]

Nov 25th, 2022

It's Friday, which means I'm doing my "official" check-in.

I've lost 4lbs/2kg since last Friday and unsurprisingly, I look exactly the same. That leaves 75lbs left to my goal.

This time I want to try fasting until Sunday morning, and on Sunday I'll have one nice meal. It's getting easier, I don't know if it's that easy yet but trying and failing would be better than not trying at all.

So far today I've managed just fine. I'm super tired, and I've gotten really hungry at a few points. Near the end of the day I almost thought I was going to be sick, but I just needed more water. If I can get to bed and stay asleep, by tomorrow morning I'll have fasted almost 30 hours.

No word on when I can fetch the exercise machine yet. I checked how heavy it is and I definitely can't do it, I need two stronger people to carry it. It's shaping up to be kind of a big deal and frankly I just wish I had it already.

So that's some good and some bad. I'm still optimistic about my progress in the future. The next few days I'm not nearly as busy as I have been this week, which could go either way couldn't it? I'm hoping having more time to relax

It's weird that Sunday's entry is going to post before this one. I wish my other entries didn't take so long to write.

[dearmomimissyou]

So yesterday I tried to make a post explaining the back story of what caused Sunday's mental breakdown to happen and I tried to save it to drafts after spending 30 minutes on it while walking Miss Phyre outside but Tumblr decided to cock out and didn't actually save it which led to another mini meltdown afterwards so I'm just going to skip the background. It hurts to mich to relive it a g a i n. So thanks Tumblr.

Sunday I went to Sam's house after donating plasma cause dad was working on the electrical and I figured I'd just spend time there instead of being home. Instead, I ended up having a breakdown on Sam's back porch. I started crying inside while in the fetal position on the floor and figured that I should go outside so nobody heard me. I violently sobbed for at least ten minutes and dug my nails into my arm because I wanted to punish myself. I also went outside because I wanted to destroy Sam's living room and I can't do that but I can destroy myself and my things. I kept wanting to smash my head into something and eventually I did on the banister twice and screamed both times when I did it. After some time like five minutes of so Nemo came out and tried talking to me and I blew up on them and basically blamed them even though it wasn't their fault. They were crying and begging me to get help dad came out too crying because he heard me say that somebody was tearing me down and making feel like shit about myself but he didn't hear who and at the time it didn't make me feel anything but looking back fucking hurts. Sam came out too after Nemo went inside I think to talk to dad about what was happening and she brought Nala Tyler's cat and asked if I wanted cookies or soda to feel better. I just remember ignoring her and being so annoyed with her in the moment.

Eventually I got to the point where I couldn't physically talk and typed a message to Nemo:

I want to me normal I WA. T to be fixed and go just can't cause miss Phyre needs attention and the dress fitting and I don't want to worry mom and tge family but fucking here I dpimg just that all the God dam. Duckknf time vsvauar I can't fucking control my stupid fucking brain

They asked if I wanted to go to the lds hospital crisis center or if I wanted to wait til tomorrow:

I have to go today cause if I don't there be an excuse tomorrow like I feel better it always happens

So they drove me home so I could get some clothes and stuff to bring to be admitted into inpatient. The whole time I was getting stuff I cried and kissed miss Phyre and told her over and over how much I love her and that I'll be back I'm not abandoning her.

So we get up to the access center thing and because of covid Nemo has to leave but I get taken back pretty fast for the physical part and asking the standard health questions. They also take my stuff including my phone and the pieces of paper that I wrote down all my problems on and a brief breakdown of my childhood traumas. I sit in a pretty okay chair for what feels like an hour. I cry a bit but nothing too noticeable when I finally got back to see the crisis counselor she basically said I'm very knowledgeable about my mental illnesses and told me that she'd let their therapy coordinator know to give me a call on Tuesday and also gave me her business card so I could call too and said as long as I'm not a danger to myself I can go home. In that moment I wasn't in danger of hurting myself more and I did want to go home instead of being admitted so I could take care of Miss Phyre but this was the second time a crisis counselor told me I wasn't in enough danger to be admitted like? Excuse me? Sorry my fucking emotions turn on a fucking dime but I absolutely need professional fucking help please?

She led me back to my chair to wait for the psychiatrist or whatever and that time I didn't have to wait as long. I got a turkey sandwich box thingy that came with a fruit cup chips and a string cheese as well as mustard and mayo in packets to put on it and tomatoes and Lettuce on the side so you can add them if you want them. I only had time to eat the fruit cup and started spreading the mayo on my sandwich before the psychiatrist came to me and we talked and he said the same thing as the counselor thag I'm very insightful about my failings and then put me on welbutrin instead of Lexapro and said I'm good to go home. I went back to the chair finished making the sandwich and then ate it while filling out their crisis sheet thingy that's like when I'm in a bad place who can I go to type shit. I still had to wait to actually be discharged so J ate the string cheese too. I finally left and had to wait another thirtyish minutes for Nemo to come pick me up.

What the scratches looked like right after being discharged. We went back to Sam's house because dad was still doing the electrical and we stayed there for another hour or two before going home. Don't remember much after the discharge honestly.

Monday was labor day and we went shopping I got my pills and stuff from Smiths. Then we went back home to wait for mom and Karleigh to get up so we could go to Joanne's tk make a playyard thing for aidrian and the dollar store for other stuff I don't remember. Then we went to the grocery store to get pita bread for dinner and something else I forgot but we ended up shopping and spent like 200 dollars. We also went to Lowes to get more pvc pipe for the playyard because dad apparently didn't get enough the first time. We ate dinner with Dave which was tikki masala and it was pretty dang good. Also before we got my pills I walked Miss Phyre for a while outside and she loved it. I decided to give her a bath afterwards since she doesn't wash herself and she was oaky the entire time she didn't meow or hiss or anything. She tried to climb out of the tub but not like in an aggressive manner like she didn't want anything to do with the water. She was such a good girl.

When Dave left we started working in the playyard. We wrapped some pink tulle on the sides and tied it to the pvc with some thin yarn. It took us hours to do and it was just mom Karleigh and me because dad went to bed. It was grueling work because my body was already exhausted from shopping all day and I had to hold my arms above my head for extended periods of time. My heels were in excruciating pain but we finally finished half of the playyard at about 1230 only to find out the other tulle we bought was the wrong stuff. It was too small to have it folded over to keep the sides secure and wasn't long enough to reach both ends of the other tulle so we had to give up for the night which actually pissed me off more than finishing it would have probably. I ended up only going to sleep at 5 am and waking up at about 9 on Tuesday but it was a nice cool day so I took Miss Phyre out for another walk and while we walked I typed up the previous Tumblr post. When I was ready to go inside and take a break from reliving the shit that happened I saved it to drafts so I could finish it later and brought Miss Phyre inside. Then I realized that it didn't actually save it and I had another breakdown but not nearly as intense as Sunday. It didn't help that the therapy coordinator never actually called me. I got a call from a bit for Intermountain that asked a bunch of questions like do I understand my discharge orders am I feeling safe did I get medication and do I understand how to take the medication and I had to hit 1 for yes 2 for no and 3 for unsure and one of the questions was like am I still feeling like I'm in a crisis or something and I had to hit 1 three times because it just wouldn't register it and that pissed me off and made me mad that it was automated and they didn't even bother to have areal human call and talk to me. After every question I answered basically they said were sorry to hear that well have a nurse follow up with you later today. I ignored both calls from the nurse because I just didn't have the energy to deal with it after the Tumblr thing. Like I wasted so much energy just typing it out and what little I had left just instantly sapped after I realized it was gone. The second voicemail the nurse left mentioned that it would be the last time trying to get into contact with me but also that our insurance has mental health advocates so thats something I need to look into.

Eventually Cavell told my dad that I needed to be watched I guess and since dad was still at work and mom had just left to take aidrian back home mandi came downstairs and spent time with me. Cavell told my sad that I needed to eat so he texted mandi to make sure I ate something and we went upstairs and made pizza and waited for dad to come home. After that we had to wait for mom and Karleigh to get back so we could go back to Joanne's to get the right tulle and while we were there I bought some double pointed needles so I could make some wrist warmers to hide the scratches. I also wrapped them up which just made it seem way more serious than it was since they were too close for bandaids to work right I had to use gauze and ace wrap.

We thankfully didn't finish the playyard yesterday we're supposed to some time today but hopefully I'll be asleep before then.

I also left the access center a review since they only had two. One one star review that was basically my experience and one five star with no description from an account that only gives 5 star reviews and seems like a bot.

Nemo wanted me to call the center for evidence based treatment last night because Google said they closed at 7 but when I called they closed at 5 so I called today instrad and nobody answered so I filled out their online form and I just got the response email from them so I'm going to hopefully get better soon I guess.

Love you always.

[football-and-fanfics]

So sorry, but I'm going to have to clear the posting schedule for today and tomorrow (5 and 6 May) as well 😢

To clarify: I'm applying for a new job, and everything is moving a lot faster than expected. I have to take a few entry exams. At first, those were scheduled for a few weeks later, but we're moved up to this week. It are very busy days, leaving me without time to write or post much.

Everything is finished this Friday, so I'll be back to posting the imagines then ☺️

The posting schedule will be updated tonight, and the requests from the new prompts list will be added to it as well.

Also, this coming Sunday (May 9th) the Bromance/Friendship themed prompts list will de dropping.

Sorry everyone, but I have to change the posting schedule a bit. I am very busy in these two days, which makes it impossible for me to post the imagines which were scheduled for today and tomorrow. 😥 The revised posting schedule can be found here. I hope that most of the chaos is over on Wednesday, so I can go back to posting from then. The requests from the new prompts list will start posting from May 8th now. I hope to be able to add those the posting schedule tomorrow or Wednesday. So sorry y'all, but I'm back later in the week 😌

[onemanzerosquad]

New York Blackbeard Diary Recap Pt.2

Day 6...... I woke up and got ready for work. While waiting for the bus, some guy was sitting inthe middle of the street having cars pass him and finally a non-scumbag driver decided to stop and ask the guy what's his deal. Pretty much he was tripping off of acid and wanted to kill himself. Next thing, like double digit number of cops surrounding and walked him to the corner away from cars. Could of been a Watching Wanda but I got on the bus. Pretty much worked for 12 hours and was amazed that my body limitations didn't reach to the short maximum. It was my first full week of work and it was cool. But full offside problems which I wont get into so much cause the day is over. My Sunday will be full fixing the issue but it's all good because I hate doing nothing anyway.

Day 7........Woke up from a power sleep that was needed from a long work day. Started off the day helping out an ex only to find out she was dealing with something that I saw as a lack of respect of herself which led me to a disappointment on her for her actions considering the fact that she wanted me back but I decline the offer. After that situation, I put myself in thinking mode contemplating on love because at this point, I starting to lose a lot of interest in it. Maybe it's me or I just pick the wrong woman to love and be with. Moving on, I washed my clothes and took care of an issue dealing with my bank account which will be fully fixed by Tuesday. After, I spent the day just focusing on love and where it stands because I'm leading towards calling it quits. While in thinking mode, I got a message on Instagram of a business opportunity of investing which I'm gonna to decline due to lack of knowledge on investing and doing business over the phone and social media is too uncomfortable. In meantime, I'm gonna look over what was discuss in that chat. Tomorrow I start my new workout and finally look more into this book I recently purchase titled......The Filter Bubble.

Day 8.......Woke up and decline the business offer which was calm then instead of hitting the gym, I went back to sleep.Woke up back and forth with moments. Woke up ate lunch from the shelter and talk to a friend and updated my health. Surprisely, I didn't use the cane all day. Went back to sleep but this time it was power nap and ate dinner and seen mold on a bread like wtf Being in the shelter has given me realization of reality to the point that I fully understand why people sleep on the streets and dont want to go to the shelter. After I leave the shelter, there will definitely change of things. I'm ending this day reading Rich Dad Poor Dad and The Filter Bubble. Tomorrow is a new day.

Day 9......Woke up with a headache from a dream. In my dream was me in hospital pretty much dying seeing people that that currently had in my life. I was dying of cancer apparently. With that scene came with moments of my past. Then I woke up and started crying thinking to myself what the f**k. I wipe the tears from my eyes and took a shower and got ready. Pretty much left me paranoid everytime someone sat next to me smoking a cigarette. Went to library and used the computer to contact my neurologist to fill this form from in regards to my restrictions of my body. Looking over the form later that day, I realize this form will come from honesty and being realistic with myself since I have to finally accept the fact that my body has limitations. This led to me thinking about 2013 til now and......I been through a lot of shit and pretty much everything is gone. So what now. First this horrible dream and this realization that I did everything to make things right. I might as well let it all out. I'm sharing my life from then to now and not holding anything back. I may lose respect and friends but I feel it's time to let it out and finally leave the past the past and accept the outcome......There's no point of hiding my thoughts anymore. Everything is basically gone.

Day 10........Woke up. Night before was kinda unfortunate watching a guy taken by the ambulance. My only assumption would be a drug related incident. I skipped gym today to work on this restriction form. First was first, a mail pick up. Had to fill out forms and make calls. My restrictions form was pretty much done. It was answered with honesty and from a realistic mindset. It goes back to what ex told me like a week ago....... My body has more limitations than anyone else and that I need to know when to slow down. It was unfortunately the true. I just needed to accept it and I did.

As I expressed on the last post, I will share my life from then to now. I would share from birth to now but 2011 started this Fall to Rise to Fall so here we go........

Summer 2011 was an end of something that I took very hard. My 2 year relationship with my first love finally end. I'll admit this publicly, as much as both sides had fault to it, I fucked that up mostly. I was insecure, lazy, had no ambition, anger problems and just verbally abusive. I provoked her at times. She try to make it up to me all the but I didnt give her the time of the day. I would apologize all the time and promise not to bullshit her then went back on my bullshit. The affections faded away and the assurance of being the protector wasn't wanted any longer. She finally had the courage to be strong and leave. I'm sure it wasn't easy. As I look back at it, she did the right thing. I'm sure she's happy now and at this point that's all I want for her. Anyway, the summer was kind of depressing and after the bullshit of being in the pystactric emergency room, to the shelter, back to the pystactric emergency room, then to a friends home, to The Bronx, I decided to finally go back home stay. Instead of not eating and doing nothing, I started working out and doing backyard wrestling a lot more than I should. Most of the year I was in the BWA (beach) but after the breakup, I went back to the stomping grounds DIW (and IKW) which was a place comfort to be honest. No disrespect but I couldn't trust most of guys at BWA (beach) since the break up. Well only the white boys I trusted lol. Felt like I was being hurt physically by some intentionally. I remember getting a call from my boy that left New York and apparently alot was being said about me but no one never confronted me about it which was some bitch shit to me cause there's three sides to a story and no one nevered talked to me about what was being said about me that year. So being at BWA (beach), it was uncomfortable cause now I know that something was said about me to some and those who read this know who you are. I didnt even trust my tag partner especially that one day when he just randomly basically admit that he had a thing for my ex. Like when he said that, the thought in my head was that if I had a gun, I would shoot him with hopes that he would die like. Is this nigga serious? Like she just left me and you got the nerve to say that shit. Fucking fat piece of shit get no pussy motherfucka.....Felt to be on some murder shit when he said that lol. Still wrestled in BWA (beach) but felt more comfortable in DIW. I knew my guys over there had my back no matter what and it was a family thing and they knew me more. As months went by, backyard wrestling became like a career/lifestyle. I would wrestle in BWA (bronx) during the week, DIW and IKW on Saturdays, then BWA (beach) on Sundays. The only thing that kept me going to BWA (beach) was my storyline with the Axis Of Choas. That match with Pitch Black was top favorite match. It brought me back to the real backyard wrestling days (IBW) During that year, I got involve in social media a lot trying to find love. Still insecure and in denial, I got into long distance relationships but one became something special to me and it started on New Years Eves.

Love is Love

Jikai.......One Last Time. The Past From The Last View 2012 The Love Gamble But 2......

Mad King Recharging Arc