#daytodayopertions

[onemanzerosquad]

New York Blackbeard Diary Recap Pt.2

Day 6...... I woke up and got ready for work. While waiting for the bus, some guy was sitting inthe middle of the street having cars pass him and finally a non-scumbag driver decided to stop and ask the guy what's his deal. Pretty much he was tripping off of acid and wanted to kill himself. Next thing, like double digit number of cops surrounding and walked him to the corner away from cars. Could of been a Watching Wanda but I got on the bus. Pretty much worked for 12 hours and was amazed that my body limitations didn't reach to the short maximum. It was my first full week of work and it was cool. But full offside problems which I wont get into so much cause the day is over. My Sunday will be full fixing the issue but it's all good because I hate doing nothing anyway.

Day 7........Woke up from a power sleep that was needed from a long work day. Started off the day helping out an ex only to find out she was dealing with something that I saw as a lack of respect of herself which led me to a disappointment on her for her actions considering the fact that she wanted me back but I decline the offer. After that situation, I put myself in thinking mode contemplating on love because at this point, I starting to lose a lot of interest in it. Maybe it's me or I just pick the wrong woman to love and be with. Moving on, I washed my clothes and took care of an issue dealing with my bank account which will be fully fixed by Tuesday. After, I spent the day just focusing on love and where it stands because I'm leading towards calling it quits. While in thinking mode, I got a message on Instagram of a business opportunity of investing which I'm gonna to decline due to lack of knowledge on investing and doing business over the phone and social media is too uncomfortable. In meantime, I'm gonna look over what was discuss in that chat. Tomorrow I start my new workout and finally look more into this book I recently purchase titled......The Filter Bubble.

Day 8.......Woke up and decline the business offer which was calm then instead of hitting the gym, I went back to sleep.Woke up back and forth with moments. Woke up ate lunch from the shelter and talk to a friend and updated my health. Surprisely, I didn't use the cane all day. Went back to sleep but this time it was power nap and ate dinner and seen mold on a bread like wtf Being in the shelter has given me realization of reality to the point that I fully understand why people sleep on the streets and dont want to go to the shelter. After I leave the shelter, there will definitely change of things. I'm ending this day reading Rich Dad Poor Dad and The Filter Bubble. Tomorrow is a new day.

Day 9......Woke up with a headache from a dream. In my dream was me in hospital pretty much dying seeing people that that currently had in my life. I was dying of cancer apparently. With that scene came with moments of my past. Then I woke up and started crying thinking to myself what the f**k. I wipe the tears from my eyes and took a shower and got ready. Pretty much left me paranoid everytime someone sat next to me smoking a cigarette. Went to library and used the computer to contact my neurologist to fill this form from in regards to my restrictions of my body. Looking over the form later that day, I realize this form will come from honesty and being realistic with myself since I have to finally accept the fact that my body has limitations. This led to me thinking about 2013 til now and......I been through a lot of shit and pretty much everything is gone. So what now. First this horrible dream and this realization that I did everything to make things right. I might as well let it all out. I'm sharing my life from then to now and not holding anything back. I may lose respect and friends but I feel it's time to let it out and finally leave the past the past and accept the outcome......There's no point of hiding my thoughts anymore. Everything is basically gone.

Day 10........Woke up. Night before was kinda unfortunate watching a guy taken by the ambulance. My only assumption would be a drug related incident. I skipped gym today to work on this restriction form. First was first, a mail pick up. Had to fill out forms and make calls. My restrictions form was pretty much done. It was answered with honesty and from a realistic mindset. It goes back to what ex told me like a week ago....... My body has more limitations than anyone else and that I need to know when to slow down. It was unfortunately the true. I just needed to accept it and I did.

As I expressed on the last post, I will share my life from then to now. I would share from birth to now but 2011 started this Fall to Rise to Fall so here we go........

Summer 2011 was an end of something that I took very hard. My 2 year relationship with my first love finally end. I'll admit this publicly, as much as both sides had fault to it, I fucked that up mostly. I was insecure, lazy, had no ambition, anger problems and just verbally abusive. I provoked her at times. She try to make it up to me all the but I didnt give her the time of the day. I would apologize all the time and promise not to bullshit her then went back on my bullshit. The affections faded away and the assurance of being the protector wasn't wanted any longer. She finally had the courage to be strong and leave. I'm sure it wasn't easy. As I look back at it, she did the right thing. I'm sure she's happy now and at this point that's all I want for her. Anyway, the summer was kind of depressing and after the bullshit of being in the pystactric emergency room, to the shelter, back to the pystactric emergency room, then to a friends home, to The Bronx, I decided to finally go back home stay. Instead of not eating and doing nothing, I started working out and doing backyard wrestling a lot more than I should. Most of the year I was in the BWA (beach) but after the breakup, I went back to the stomping grounds DIW (and IKW) which was a place comfort to be honest. No disrespect but I couldn't trust most of guys at BWA (beach) since the break up. Well only the white boys I trusted lol. Felt like I was being hurt physically by some intentionally. I remember getting a call from my boy that left New York and apparently alot was being said about me but no one never confronted me about it which was some bitch shit to me cause there's three sides to a story and no one nevered talked to me about what was being said about me that year. So being at BWA (beach), it was uncomfortable cause now I know that something was said about me to some and those who read this know who you are. I didnt even trust my tag partner especially that one day when he just randomly basically admit that he had a thing for my ex. Like when he said that, the thought in my head was that if I had a gun, I would shoot him with hopes that he would die like. Is this nigga serious? Like she just left me and you got the nerve to say that shit. Fucking fat piece of shit get no pussy motherfucka.....Felt to be on some murder shit when he said that lol. Still wrestled in BWA (beach) but felt more comfortable in DIW. I knew my guys over there had my back no matter what and it was a family thing and they knew me more. As months went by, backyard wrestling became like a career/lifestyle. I would wrestle in BWA (bronx) during the week, DIW and IKW on Saturdays, then BWA (beach) on Sundays. The only thing that kept me going to BWA (beach) was my storyline with the Axis Of Choas. That match with Pitch Black was top favorite match. It brought me back to the real backyard wrestling days (IBW) During that year, I got involve in social media a lot trying to find love. Still insecure and in denial, I got into long distance relationships but one became something special to me and it started on New Years Eves.

Love is Love

Jikai.......One Last Time. The Past From The Last View 2012 The Love Gamble But 2......

Mad King Recharging Arc

[onemanzerosquad]

New York Blackbeard Diary Recap Pt.1

Day 1 went well. Alot of reunions especially in the Bush. What's Day 2 gonna be like

Day 2.....Got a chance to really work. A lot of walking. By the end my energy ran out (mostly from the right leg). So starting tomorrow, I will be doing workouts mostly focused on my right leg with other workouts with the return of the One King Man workout (100 push ups,100 crunches, and 100 squats).

Day 3.....Woke up went to the gym and did my workouts. Started with the elliptical. Then 100 push ups, 100 squats, and 250 crunches with the ending of pumping iron (lifting weights). From there, I went straight to work. After work, got into thinking mode and reflecting at all the moments from 2013 to now. Alot has went down and as I better myself, I lost a lot. As I rebuild things day by day and gain new knowledge, the realization of change is upon me. Tomorrow brings an update that I plan to acknowledge.

Day 4.....Tested my routine day to day operations. During the day, I communicated with some people no matter what position the played (friend or significant other). I tried to understand certain actions from them but got bullshit answers. It irritated me cause I feel I'm reaching to the brink of my patience and all I want is simple shit in my life and it's people that make my life difficult like they're a f'n anime character trying to teach me a new technique. Tomorrow is new day but a new day of just reaching out to the rest of people of my situation and giving up on people.

Day 5.....Started my day with my appointment with my case worker. Since my return to work, I'm able to get paid regularly. As soon as I get my pay stubs, I'll be able to to see a housing specialist and live independently and out of the shelter. During the day I thought about my workout plans and I decided to do weight training workouts more to regain my strength in full. Did my work then went to thinking mode and have decided to officially not look for and expect love. When it comes, it comes. Inthe meantime, updating myself with my knowledge from people and books.

Self control towards the justified diversity of those around you.

Jikai.......Operation Freedom Stage 1 New Visuals

Mad King Recharging Arc