#learning about yourself and your relationship with other people

[claudiafrankie]

Pick a Card: How They See You

DISCLAIMER: TAROT IS NOT AN EVIDENCE-BASED PRACTICE. YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF MAKING YOUR OWN DECISIONS.

Pile 1: The Dog

This person sees you as having mastered the earth element. I think you are pretty detached with the way you approach your goals and it like doesn't compute in this person's brain that this is how you get the things that you want and build the world around you that you have.

They see you as someone who revels in the simple pleasures in life - sitting in the grass on a sunny day, stretching your body in the morning, a delicious seasonal coffee creamer. You are rich in the ways that count pile 1. You take good care of yourself and because of this you kind of exude a nurturing quality to those around you. Whether you intend to or not, you help other people get to where they want to go. You build people up and show them that they are capable of achieving their goals. I think you have a good eye for material goods and know what to splurge on and what to buy generic brand. Maybe you invest in nice cookware and knives because you know you'll use those for years to come, or in a high-quality bed spread or mattress. You take care of your body and appearance, you understand this to be an art form. But you also know that it's not everything. And this down-to-earth quality of taking good care of yourself but also not taking it too seriously or to extremes is really sexy to a lot of people. I think this person thinks that other people see you as husband/wife material. If you're single they're scratching their head like "how the hell are they not wifed up yet"

I think they see you as someone who doesn't stay in people's lives for very long, and they are worried that this is going to be the case for your relationship with them as well. They think you are in tune with the rhythms of nature and aren't afraid to let go and move on. You enjoy the good times when they come knowing they won't last forever, and you don't let the hard times beat you down when they come because you know they will pass.

I think they see you as someone who has learned all this the hard way. As someone who has been through many highs and lows, someone flexible in the circumstances you can thrive and survive in. You know when a tree lifts up the concrete of a sidewalk? That's you. Pavement be damned, you are going to keep growing and growing. You understand setbacks are part of progress. You don't let the hiccups hangups and obstacles sway you from steady movement forward.

I think they think that you are very loyal to those you care about, perhaps to your own detriment at times. I think this person sees you as someone who feels easily caged and needs a lot of space to try new things and be your own person. They see these two sides of you being at odds with each other at times, whether that is true or not.

This person sees you as being perhaps at times unwilling to open up emotionally. I think they respect you for your stoic disposition, but they think that sometimes you take this position/approach when it isn't necessary and that you actually hold yourself back a little bit in this way. Like you are a little blocked in your self-expression. Again, this is how they see you. It doesn't mean that this is actually who you are.

Pile 2: The Moon

This person thinks that you are in an incredible amount of pain underneath a calm surface. The card you picked, I just really tried to sense what it would be like to be there. Sitting next to a lake on a cloudy night. You have that smell of the freshwater and grass, and the sound of maybe a frog or two. Some light wind ruffling the surface of the lake... sitting in that setting depicted on the card it has the vibe of "something happened here and there's this weight hanging over the whole place." Like the trees are clinging to the ground so tightly because they are afraid of a strong wind knocking them down, and maybe there's a dock with a small boat that has rusted over from getting no use anymore and with no one around to take care of it or store it properly.

That's how they see you, as someone who has been through something, or maybe a series of things, that have deeply impacted you. And it's like you're still processing and aren't quite sure what the you that comes out the other side of all this processing is going to look like yet. This goes beyond sadness, this person sees you as grieving. Who or what I don't know, but they see you as dealing with some kind of loss. I think it could have to do with your family. Maybe you have been dealing with family troubles or grieving the loss of a family member or a family friend. Or, if it's not a literal death that you are processing, it could be that you are beginning to understand your family in a different way, a deeper way. Maybe your perspective on your family is expanding, you are understanding the pain and wounding that they have been through, and you're angry. You could be reconciling feelings of bitterness or anger towards your family with feelings of sympathy for the difficulties they have faced in their own lives.

I think this person sees that you are holding on to this pain and struggling to let it go. Maybe they sense a despondency in you, a subtle hopelessness. Not detachment so much as fear of encountering the same lessons with different people, of being hurt in the same ways again. They can feel a deep anger in you, seeing you as someone who is looking for their place in the world, wanting more than anything to feel like you belong.

This is really sad pile 2. You are so strong and this person wants to help you but they know that you have to want to get better, and they think that you don't even see the sadness, anger, and longing in yourself. They won't offer unsolicited advice, so for the time being I think they are taking the role of being a supportive friend and willing to give advice should you go to them for it.

There is some judgment coming from them. Like "why can't they just get over it" or "they are so stuck and don't even realize." It's weird, they want to help you, but they do kind of want you to lean on them as some sort of savior/hero/rescuer figure. I think they believe that you really want someone like this to come along and sort of take care of you. I'll say it again, this is how this person sees you not necessarily who you actually are, so don't get too fixated on their perspective - especially if it is not accurate. You know yourself best.

I think this person is equally invested in making you feel better as they are making themselves feel better. Maybe they think that your well-being is what they're concerned about, or this is what they're telling themselves, but really they are dealing with their own insecurities and need to feel like the hero to be worthy of love. Maybe this person is an overachiever, or highly successful for their age. They could come from a family where this was expected of them - to win.

So yeah they see you as a little bit of a damsel in distress pile 2. I don't think you need anyone to save you or are trying to signal this to people, but I do think that this person thinking that you deep down want someone to come along and sweep you off your feet has some truth to it. And I feel like I should tell you that wanting to be saved and taken care of is totally normal and human. We live in a world where it's difficult just to be a person. Dealing with deeply rooted pain while navigating the mayhem of daily living is incredibly difficult. You are doing a good job, pile 2. Maybe no one has said that to you in awhile. Keep up the good work. And, while there's nothing wrong with wishing for a knight in shining armor, remember who it is that has been saving your ass this whole time in their absence. ;)

Pile 3: The Broom and Whip

Hey pile 3! Lets get into it

This feels like someone that you had or have a romantic connection with but there was a falling out. They see you as someone who is defensive and in a lot of pain. They know that you are not the type of person to lash out and take your hurt out on other people, but they almost wish that the two of you could have it out - I just don't think that you are expressing your anger to this person. I think they could be concerned that this is eroding you mentally and emotionally, that you aren't expressing to them how you really feel.

I think you guys aren't talking right now and they are feeling this separation big time. They really want to work this out and come back together. You literally got the Lovers and the Two of Cups side by side - whoever you are asking about sees you as a soulmate, as their endgame. They are worried that this won't work out and they are trying to plan how to fix things with you, possibly asking about you to their friends or asking their own friends for advice on the situation.

This person sees how naturally cooperative you are with the people around you, how you are so willing to work with others and put your own interests aside if it benefits the majority - it's like this is just how you operate, you don't even have to think about it. They could see you as working on some kind of skill and gaining notoriety for it, gathering some attention for your diligence, attention to detail, and team-oriented attitude.

Yeah dude this person just thinks that you're it for them. The Lovers and the Two of Cups??? Come on. I think that even though this person is upset they see whatever upset is currently going on is temporary. It's like they aren't even entertaining the option or possibility that things are over over between the two of you. It will not compute in their brain.

I think this person thinks that you're pushing them away. They think that you are retreating into yourself where it's safe and keeping them at arms-reach. I think the way you are interacting with them now compared to the way you used to interact with them is very different - I think right now you are giving them friendly, polite energy but it's just a way to maneuver around them so you can keep them away. You are relying heavily on your manners to protect yourself in this situation and they can tell. They hate that you used to have so much vivaciousness when you used to talk to them and now they don't get that side of you anymore.

I do think that there is part of this person that enjoys the suspense and tortured waiting of what's going on. I think that they want to comfort and soothe you, to coax you into their arms and hold you while you hang onto them. I think this is part of a sexual fantasy of theirs as well, where they are the one to console you and then fuck the sadness out of you. They could be into BDSM type stuff, or if it's not that heavy/intense, they just want to test your limits a little bit. They like the idea of being the one to inflict some pain on you and then show you that they can make it better, that they can make you feel even better than you did before the pain even occurred.

It's hard to explain but it's not really an exotic fantasy or unusual I don't think, I'm just having a hard time putting it into words. They want to like........ stretch you? LMAO Like yeah just see... what you can take. And when they're done having their way with you, being the one who you collapse into. They want to be the person with the power to harm and to heal you. Not sure if that's your vibe but that is what I'm getting from this person. Very intense and steamy, if this is your situation then please write smut about it or something so the rest of us can live vicariously through you lol.

Take care pile 3 :)

[rose-maidenn]

Pac : Let's get insights on your purpose for the next 5 months !

nov-dec-jan-feb-mar

using safe passage tarot from "Agatha all along"

Pile 1-2-3

Hey guys hope you're doing well , chose the Pile that calls to you intuitively, know that I'm not gonna sugarcoat things because I want your best . Hope you enjoy this

For more see masterlist and paid readings

Pile 1 :

You are represented by the king of wands a very charismatic person , you attract people who are looking for growth and you are someone who always wins in all fields you exactly know where to play the cards right to win . Alternatively for the other part of the group king of wands can mean someone who's nose is kind of everywhere they're at too many different things not giving one thing the change to reach the full potential.

What's missing is an ending !!! Ending to certain things relationships, people , in order to reach something new you have to let the old things go which is something you have to learn . You need stronger boundaries , more self worth and less attachment issues .

The lessons you have learnt is represented by the queen of wands it is about social settings I feel like you're someone who easily becomes friends with everyone and that's a good networking skill. You could also be someone who is very creative and starts at everything their heart calls for .

Your path ahead is represented by death , it calls for an ending ending of doubts , bad thought patters , old beliefs and relationships let shit go and see what happens .

Your Obstacles is represented by chariot I feel in this case it's about you staying in the same zone and resisting change it's like an ouroburos moving but in the wrong places and wrong circles , cut the string , your comfort zone is killing you honey

O of wands in this case is like don't wait around for anyone not even about being ready yourself just do what you need to do end the things that you need to you can't drag this anymore dear, this could also be about drug addiction or addiction in general .

Your destination is magician yay ! You know how if you just let shit go the magic happens so will it happen for you. Just let it go let people be , only work for yourself, give yourself all, heal and you will know you're powerful, you don't need a guru you're the star itself.

Thank you for reading, if you liked this and would like personal insights or a longer read to book click here .

Pile 2 :

You are represented by four of cups , you are someone who wants what they want and won't settle for anything. I sense a stern energy . Alternatively you might be someone who is extremely bored these days and just wants to lay .

What is missing is justice , you need to work hard rn for your dreams , but in the write direction I won't say you never worked hard but somehow in the wrong way , you might have a retrograde Saturn. You need to find what can do justice to yourself as you owe yourself everything and you are worth everything.

The path behind is represented by page of wands , your reading is like you were a very enthusiastic person once but now you have lost the zing for life . You have a great influx of ideas why don't you use them dear.

Path ahead is represented by the empress , clearly you are to start working on these ideas start the creative project take the leap. Focus on letting your creativity flow , your intuition knows , your soul knows.

The Obstacles is represented by eight of coins is that you need to learn dedication and working on something even if it takes time be it studying , art or relationships you are called to enjoy the journey and not just the victory.

Represented by ace of wands in this case I think you should avoid working on something new until you finish the old , you need to give one thing commitment and mastery then you will reach your destination

Represented by the king of cups. Mature and passionate about what they do . This infact represents a chance that you might become the best at what you wanna do . You might become a professor a teacher or a guide to people if you choose to follow this path .

Thank you for reading, if you liked this and would like personal insights or a longer read to book click here .

Pile 3 :

You are represented by six of coins a very beautiful earthy loving energy of gratitude and kindness , you give without thinking anything part of why you are blessed with more .

Ten of swords is what is missing in my deck it's literally a person cutting off a hand honey someone is using you , the awareness and discernment on who deserves your time money and energy is the thing that is missing .

You have learnt that people will be who they are despite giving your all so why don't you apply that in new relationships keep the knowledge but also use it . Alternatively this could be about relationship and someone leaving you in the past who was toxic.

The path ahead is represented by the fool , you're in the start of a new journey you have endless possibilities you can now leap into new and have faith that universe will do the best for you.

Your Obstacles are represented by death , you're ruminating on a past relationship too much which is making you work extra even for the bare minimum you have to work to stay in your queen energy don't do too much it's not worth it .

You must overcome the queen of wands I think this is a toxic person who was in your life you said you stupid shit that didn't align with you and now you have taken their words literally , recognize who this is maybe a family member a friend or a youtuber guru idk they have flowery energy but they're unhealed

Your destination is represented by the two of cups yay a union this can be the union of your logic and intuition. Masculine and feminine energie or a new relationship:) all in all an energy of balance and love .

Thank you for reading, if you liked this and would like personal insights or a longer read to book click here .

[tarotbyjam24]

PICK A PILE : WHAT YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU

Choose a pile which you feel most drawn to , if reading doesn't resonate there was no messages for you through this reading

Every like and reblog is very very much appreciated:D

Pile 1. Pile 2.

Pile 1 .

Your parents think you're backbone of others or you're usually supportive in nature ,you're always ready to lend a hand whenever needed . They think you've very business oriented mindset maybe you're about give and take relationship,you have success oriented mindset,they also think you're not afraid of ending things you're always welcoming new things\beginnings in your life . But sometimes you may lack confidence in yourself when things aren't going your way usually you're confident,using everything you have around you to create something Outta it . You're also someone who's not afraid of whatever comes on your way you just handle it all so effortlessly ✨ your parents are saying honey love yourself 😭💋

Initials for pile 1 : O,T,A,E,G

your moodboard :

Pile 2 . Your parents think you're not afraid for asking help when it's needed which is good from my pov because in modern world most of us are afraid of getting judged by people , you're always open to learn things from everyone be it older person or a child .you're very peace loving person in general,maybe you love being alone too , you're also advised to write by your parents maybe you can try some prompts from pinterest. Maybe you're not in right mental state rn maybe you're depressed regarding something,maybe you feel like someone's controlling you and you don't wanna be controlled anymore your parents think you tend to overshare things , may overgive\over pour too , can't hide things or can't keep secrets ,talkative,always have so much to say. Your parents are saying give me some more time ,give yourself some more time 🫂🩵

Initials for pile 2 : E,M,I,N

your moodboard :

Thankyou so much for letting me read for you 💗

I'm grateful if you read the reading , did you enjoy it ? Wishing you all the best in your life , thank you so much for everything 🌷,bless you all ⛄

Take the reading lightly as nothing's set in stone until you believe so , reading may or may not resonate with you !

[ferg0s]

Barou starting a new relationship with a shy girl and how he would go about it

The literal personification of trying to mix oil with water

He was used to everyone looking at him in times of need on the field - he was the king after all - so he didn’t even notice how you would take a step back whenever it came time to ordering food, or any sort of public speaking and interactions.

He naturally took the lead, and you followed suit. Thanking the lord.

He honestly didn’t even notice how shy you were- he just kinda assumed you like hearing him talk. It wasn’t until he passed by an aisle of cute keychains and decided that he wanted to get you one when he realized… he kinda didn’t know anything about you.

I mean he did. He knew your name, your height…. The colour of your eyes…. And hair… and…

“So what do you do?” He asked bluntly as the two of you walked down a park, ice creams in hand. The one he ordered. “What?” “Hobbies? Sports? What do you do in your spare time?” He asked as he looked at you, determined to get an answer. “You know… the usual stuff-“ you awkwardly chuckle. “I don’t know actually.” He was a little shit about it.

But after literally interrogating you for an entire hour, he managed to squeeze out an answer from you. You were completely cornered by him, and you shyly tell him your hobbies. He looks dumbfounded, because to him those are completely normal and healthy hobbies for someone to have. He was starting to think you’re a grave robber by the way you were acting.

Knitting? He will get you the yarn, and parade a scarf you made for him and show all his teammates. Collecting something? He will always be on the lookout for what you like, even going as far as asking his teammates to be on the lookout as well. Video games? He will learn to play your favourite game with you. Cute farming sim? Silent hill? Niche indie game that only 3 people know about? You best bet he will ask for a 4 hour lore deep dive.

Very supportive.

Lwokey will get annoyed at your shyness at one point.

At first he thinks it’s cute, but he’s not the type of person to fully baby anyone, and will force you to order your own meal. He wants the best for you :(

Will say his order and look at you to say yours, watching you stumble on your words as you try to order some fries and a sprite. And will say he’s proud of you after. But doesn’t do it often because he can see the genuine terror in your eyes - only does it even it’s the two of you in line on a slow day.

Slowly learns to accept that you’re passionate in your own way. He’s loud and proud, whereas you like to keep to yourself. In a way he likes that you’re so open with him, that you let him see the stuff you don’t show other people. Thinks it’s adorable.

Will 100% try to make you more comfortable and less shy. You bought a new dress and don’t want to wear it, he will bluntly tell you it looks good and it would be a waste of money not to wear it.

Encourages your fashion choices. Polly pocket platform heels? He loves them. Bold lipstick? He will buy you earring that match. He quietly realized he liked seeing you happy. And you were happiest being yourself.

He’s not a big fan of grossly obvious PDA. Loves holding your hand or when you grab his bicep when you two walk together. You like it because it doesn’t draw unnecessary attention and he likes it cuz you’re always attached next to him and he doesn’t have to worry about actually loosing you. Plus he likes it when you grab his bicep.

Took forever to convince you to come to one of his games. You were too nervous to get into an arena with so many people - said you could come with a group of his teammates girlfriends - but you hated the idea of being with people you didn’t know.

He got really good at spotting you in the crowd. Didn’t matter where you were sitting, he just trained himself to see you. You were too shy to loudly cheer like everyone else, blending into the crowd due to that. But it didn’t matter.

In a weird way. He likes that hes the only one who gets to see you this happy, because hes the same with you. Slowly learning to take his guard down, be more open.

You’re learning to be confident while he’s learning to be trusting.

[talonabraxas]

Odin - Ansuz Talon Abraxas

Ansuz Rune

Ansuz is the rune associated to the supreme god Odin. Its symbol represents Odin’s mouth and the magic that comes from communication. The spoken word, linguistic expression and understanding with each other is its energy. Odin, discoverer of the runic alphabet, transmitted the information of the runes by speaking so that people could learn from it.

Ansuz is said to symbolize the mouth of the wise god Odin. Odin once discovered the first runes. Advice seekers, when they draw Ansuz, should pay attention, because they may soon be the recipient of an important message.

Ansuz further represents truth and clarification. It represents the divine and spiritual power of life as well as the exchange through language. It embodies the great mystery.

Inspiration and sensitivity and magical powers can also be enhanced and unfolded through Ansuz. This rune provides a defense against intrigue and protects against slander.

For the future, Ansuz predicts happiness in interpersonal relationships, and also that existing prejudices can vanish into thin air.

Origin and Meaning of the Ansuz Rune

Ansuz is in the fourth position of the older runic alphabet Futhark. Alternative names are Ansus, Ansur, Ós, Áss. This rune governs people’s abilities to name all things around them. Ansuz a rune of order.

Naming a thing correctly can give power over that thing. Therefore, in ancient traditions, incantations were often used to dispel malevolent spirits, break psychological bonds, or bind demons.

Ansuz is the rune of creative expression. It shows us the power of language, passing down the knowledge of the ancestors from generation to generation through the spoken word. This rune represents both spiritual and worldly power, clarification and truth.

For this reason, lessons in life must be learned thoroughly in order to attain wisdom. Ansuz announces a message to those seeking advice, which in our time may well correspond to correspondence by telephone call or a video chat.

In Norse mysticism, the rune Ansuz corresponds to the one-eyed wanderer Odin. His personality combines the qualities of shaman, chieftain, warrior and sage.

It is said that the wandering god often mingled with people to examine and observe them. When doing so, he wore a long gray cloak, walked slightly bent and lowered his face to the ground to learn about the life of the world unrecognized.

Ansuz symbolizes communication through the god of wind: sound waves spread through the air and become audible or visible signs are effectively used for non-verbal communication. The rune symbol resembles the Old English understanding after signal pennants, which served for communication over long distances.

This technique has survived to this day in the navy as the flag alphabet. But signals also have their place in everyday life. A red traffic light means “stop”, turn arrows and speed signs guide our way. All signals are part of normality through daily contact.

The signals of the runes, however, are more profound. Recognize the signals that lead to the answer, even if you have to “think around the corner.” Use intuition to understand the message.

The perception of small signals must first be sensitized in our hectic way of life, especially when it concerns emotions or the body. The heart rhythm disturbances are simply not heeded because there is no time to pay attention to them. On the contrary, more work is done until, in the worst case, serious consequences cause total failure.

This is not a functional signal, but a depressing feeling that manifests itself with heart problems. Ansuz advises you to listen to your body’s signs and treat yourself respectfully. If you are willing to recognize the messages transmitted and learn lessons from them, your life will be more harmonious.

Signs are appearing everywhere in your environment. Learn to see them and respond to them. Ansuz knows that you have been blind to them until now. By sharpening all your senses, you will achieve complete clarity about what to do now. Respond properly to the signals, stop at the red light and step on the gas when it turns green.

Do not watch from a distant perspective, but meet things consciously, because it could be an indication of a new development. All occurrences have a special meaning. When you learn this truth, you will understand and pay attention to the messages around you.

Fixed Ansuz Rune Meaning

The Ansuz rune can indicate the need to incorporate intuition or emotion to make the wisest decision. Listen to your inner self and then put your experiences into action. It is also open to you to learn from others who have more knowledge than you do.

Ansuz can represent an intelligent person in a reading. In conjunction with Berkana, your mother or another woman in the family can give you good advice; in conjunction with Othala, an older relative will help you. The connection to Jera suggests the advice of an official institution such as a lawyer or doctor.

Seeking advice means a release of stress and blockages. You may feel attached to a situation. When you seek resolution, the effect of the energy released by the Ansuz rune is physical, emotional, and intellectual freedom. Ansuz shows you the effect of your positive or negative action.

Reversed Ansuz Rune Meaning

If a reading shows the rune Ansuz reversed, you should pay attention and listen carefully to what others say to you - manipulation, lies, rumors and deceit are flourishing around you.

Check any advice for hidden traps, false or double meanings, and read the fine print in a contract. Often, begrudging people will try to trap you in order to thwart your plans. In conjunction with Othala, there may be problems with older people.

The reversed rune indicates lack of clarity and misunderstanding. Regarding a problem, you do not take advice and refuse to learn this life lesson. This unpleasant situation may be accompanied by a sense of futility or wasted effort. Now is the time to purge the old to usher in the new.

Ansuz the other way around means you didn’t find the answers you were looking for because you asked the wrong questions. You need to seek your results in a different way. Look within and everything will become clear.

[tipytap]

reminder this pride month that labels are tools to describe and discover yourself, not rigid cages you need to be stuck in ❤️

reminder that it is always okay to change what labels you use 🧡

reminder that it is always ok to not identify with a label at all 💛

reminder that it is not your job to police how other people identify based on abstract criteria 💚

reminder that you are under no obligation to tell anyone how you identify 💙

reminder that if you do change your labels or discover something new about yourself, you werent “wrong” for identifying how you did, you have simply grown and changed as a person 💜

happy pride month yall 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[novadreii]

If your life circumstances have always required from you an abnormal amount of strength and resilience, I see you. If your inner child lets out a small sob anytime someone compliments you on that strength, I see you. If that strength translates to you being some form of domineering/abrasive because you learned early on that your lot in life was to take care of yourself because nobody else ever did, I see you. If you are so fucking angry all the time and can't pinpoint why, I see you. If you've had to watch as people you care about continue to abandon you in adulthood because you grew up to be type A, controlling and assertive, I see the fuck out of you. It's not your fault that nobody ever gave you a soft place to land so that you could be your true self. And I won't inundate you with condescending platitudes about how you'll find your person/people one day.

Some of us are lucky, but to depend on external sources for your well being is a crap shoot. I won't tell you to keep looking for your home in other people. Home is where you are. Take that strength you've painstakingly cultivated since you were a child, and quadruple it. Become bulletproof, unbreakable. Don't let anyone else find a fault line in you to exploit ever again.

[brinnanza]

I'm fully aware that there may at some point be a resigned reblog of this post with the predictable consequences BUT I'm calling shenanigans on the fanfiction trope where if you tell your friend you're in love with them and they're like anything except ecstatic and everything gets weird and awkward and messy and bad because it turns out if your friend is also super audhd and depressed, it's basically like. fine. you csn just be normal about it. cause like nothings changed for me yknow. I already knew that information and if the relationship status and behavior around each other is continuing unchanged then it's just fine?? idk it's just like I've been having a LOT of experiences and realizations lately that are like gasp omg just like my stories because for a long time all I had was fictional characters but this particular thing I'm like hm this is not at all like my stories am I just super autistic about this or is everyone crazy

[solarpunkpolliwog]

My hispanic community members are already being harassed IN PUBLIC just by your average Joe, and that's before policies kick in. The Dominican women I live next to are getting verbally assaulted, made fun of that Trump won, called heinous slurs, told them to "go back where they came from" in the middle of living their lives with no changes to the policies that protect us and in a blue state. It's super important and serious to ensure that we are doing what we can to protect more vulnerable populations in the face of massive suffering that will occur.

I think it's important for everyone, but especially for white people to force yourself outside of your baked-in community. Segregation still exists in our country, and very real policies and government actions made it possible for a lot of white people to live in almost literal bubbles away from bipoc people.

Find a nonprofit like a makerspace or a community that services the unhoused. Meet regularly with them (At least once a month, preferably more) for volunteer work or community meetings. Make sure you find a group that has more varieties of people in it. Are there less than 20% people that are bipoc? You need to find another group that represents more than white people.

Go to every regular meeting that they have. Ask questions about people's lives, overhear that someone needs something you have and offer it to them- build relationships with folks! It makes it possible for you to learn more about your community, how they are impacted differently than you, and make moves to protect them. It's also possible to have multiple intersected communities!

(I THINK that this is already well known, but just in case, I would also highly recommend combining that with only asking hard questions on the internet unless you do a check-in with someone very close about if those types of conversations are okay. If there are questions digging into bipoc people's experience that are potentially an invasion of their bodies, mind, or culture, ask the internet instead of them. Bipoc folks who are willing to examine those questions have already done the emotional labor to share their thoughts and you won't be forcing them to experience pain for your education without their consent.)

Intentional community building is not something we're trained to do. We're primarily trained to have neighbors, academic peers, and co-workers for friends. For me at least, it has sometimes been uncomfortable and terrifying, and I wanted to quit a couple of times, but it has made such a difference in how fulfilled I am by the connections I have. I get to ask myself questions about who I let into the varied spheres of my life, and I get to feel so much richer in how many people I get to interact and love in different ways.

All this to say, bipoc people and other vulnerable populations are in danger, and yes... Us lighter skinned queer folk who aren't in immediate hostile danger have a higher chance of being okay. I honestly am still grappling with not knowing exactly how bad the path our country is on, and not knowing if it could veer extremely badly or if we can band together enough to protect each other and make positive change. But for now, if we already have privileges, we need to unlearn how we've been trained to socialize, and be there for the people who need it most. I want to go beyond this, but if the only thing I do is hug my friend as she cries in my arms about how scared she is to survive even greater abuses from the world around her as an older Dominican immigrant, it will be worth it.

still a lot of "we'll survive, we did before" and not enough "here's how to prepare for the promised mass deportations and fight for people who may be facing racist policies come the new year" and "here is what we can do about how the climate may get worse in the coming years"

Like. Cool that you have confirmed that you as a white queer will probably be kind of okay. I need to see more about what we're going to be doing for people of color both in this country and outside of this country that are at risk of state brutalization, increasingly dangerous natural disasters, wars......

Too much placating. Not enough discussing plans of action.

Idk about y'all but I AM really afraid of the deportations that have been threatened, especially when the racism that pairs with it goes even beyond targeting illegal immigrants (which to be clear is still awful) but legal immigrants as well, and even people that white Americans think LOOK like they might be immigrants.

Get your shit together and start talking about what people of color need because right now we DESPERATELY need the help of white people, you are the ones who are safer in the face of the cops and ICE, you are the ones that the other racist white people will actually listen to when you cover for us. Please. If you've genuinely decided that you will be okay, then start getting out there for the people that definitely won't be.

[hsslilly-blog]

source

[iidsch]

Re the Neil Gaiman allegations but it really says a lot about the politics of this website that people care more about gay rep than the wellbeing of women. Major Tumblr darling gets accused of sexual assault and people in his fandoms either immediately jump to "the victims are lying/this is a smear campaign" or continue posting like nothing happened, with only a handful of posts actually dealing with the topic and getting attention. Not even a "let's wait until more details come out but sexual assault is bad". At this point I don't even care if the allegations turn out to be false because the biggest issue here is not the sexual assault, it's the silence of the people around it. This should have been a moment to step back, leave fandoms aside and realize that people are being hurt by his actions but that didn't happen! This was incredibly disappointing, ESPECIALLY after we had a wave of people arguing that you shouldn't buy the wizard game because JKR is transphobic. As always it's easy to cast stones to other people but when it comes to the guy who wrote your fav gay ship suddenly it's a different matter. If you wouldn't do "innocent until proven guilty" for a creator that you dislike who got accused of sa but you do it to Neil Gaiman, then you are willing to excuse despicable behavior as long as it comes from someone you have a parasocial relationship with and you should really think about what it's doing to your own principles and politics.

[oranberrie]

If you act like any one music app is better than another I will never respect you.

[rosewaterandpinkseasalt]

if we’re going with that though—do we think steven would really figure that out during the timeline of the show? we only see him up until the age of sixteen. he’s processing everything he’s been through (which is a lot) and he’s in a terrible mental state. i think this is something he’s going to reflect on & really figure out in post canon. if anything, a tiny silver lining is that the end of canon reminds young people that they don’t need to have all their traumas resolved right away! his relationship, too, is something he’s still working on but we can kind of tell they’re always going to be together.

i can’t help but sympathize with steven & as someone who’s older than him i really like how you always acknowledge the outside perspective! lots of rose haters see the show from steven’s perspective and forget that they can have an outside one, too. i try to look at both.

through steven’s eyes, he has a whole belief system set up and so much happens throughout his adolescence that, while he changes and goes through unimaginable things, he doesn’t know what to believe anymore. he starts to only see extremes. he started off with imagining rose as this perfect mother for comfort, and then he learns things about her that are quite alarming (i.e., bismuth being bubbled, not telling garnet and ame and dad about being a diamond) and feels this bitterness & anger. he even begins to question if she’s a bad person. it’s going to take awhile for him to process and figure out everything.

in a very similar way, he has trouble with how he feels about himself. he grew up isolated from lots of kids & finding out he was a protector & a healer, but as time goes on he struggles with self blame and self doubt. he begins focusing so much on protecting others that he forgets about himself—which makes him lose some self awareness, too.

so, when he’s in fight or flight like that and he needs to make a last minute decision, he chooses something that’s extremely self destructive but with the intention to protect the person he loves most. & that’s interesting to me because he’s not only reminding me of one mom here—he’s reminding me of pearl, too.

situations involving life or death & fight or flight, when the person already has lots of unresolved trauma and mental health issues… these situations can easily bring out some troubling aspects of people.

i have so much empathy for steven & pearl that i can’t bring myself to say that they were bad hurtful partners—really, they were being self destructive. & i think connie and rose were upset but more so because they were worried about their partners and they couldn’t do anything to protect them. it’s not something that would end their relationships or lessen trust—but it’s definitely a good example of how putting your loved ones over yourself & not having self compassion can cause issues when they feel the same amount of love for you & want to protect you, too.

@selkie-soup you know steven & connverse better than i do, but this situation is just very interesting to me and i thought i would chime in! i hope this is soup approved :3

it irks me so much when people act like Connie is in the wrong for how she acted after the trial. It ignores three things. One- Connie is 12, of course she won't act "perfect". Two- she tried to talk to him irl but Steven was at the cabin with the gems + his dad. Three- Connie has a right to take space, even if it was in her best interest it's not unreasonable she was hurt. She wanted to be there for him and they promised to protect each other (not to mention if any of Pearl's ideology still effected her) and she felt like their promise was broken. It was for the best she was left behind but she can still have complex feelings about the topic.

[the-joy-of-knowledge]

25 Laws of power for women

Conceal your goals especially the ones that are appealing. Losing weight, reinventing yourself, marrying wealthy. Instead talk about your altruistic goals - to help children, invest in education, this will chase insecure people with vile intentions.

Do not give anyone your source of power: Was is a book that changed your life? a mentor? a movie? Never give up your secret to success. If forced to do say allude to God, the universe, the a random phenomenon

Use the patriarchy to your favor; we live in a world that is, only associate with men who have power, use that power for good.

Never appear too perfect but be selectively vulnerable when needed. Only share something that you will be comfortable saying. You might say “I forget my keys all the time,” “I don’t know how to perfectly park a car “. But never disclose something you are not comfortable with just because you are afraid of being perfect.

Maintain distance in relationships. Friends are the best and you need them. But if you feel that they are becoming too dependent, see them at your own will. But also the reverse could be the case. Your friend may keep a distance, and that is the way of life. You have got to move on from it.

Develop your own style that makes you unique, beautiful, and elegant. Avoid trying to fit in the crowd of people who claim to care less about their style yet have too many opinions about other women’s style

Avoid male friends at all cost, you will have male colleagues, male bosses, male acquaintances, business partners. Keep it that way. You do not want a Truman Capote divulging your secrets to the world. Do not keep a man who does not fit your standard.

You do not have to win at every game. Pick and choose what is best for you and leave room for others. And step down if you have attained that level of success, do not let the society do it for you.

Trust people but remember that we are all humans. So trust with discretion!

Confuse people with kindness; people are not always comfortable with beautiful and intelligent women. That power is too intimidating so confuse them by being genuinely generous, curious, kind, and passionate.

Keep your strong opinions to yourself.. if you support a movement, a way of life, do so silently.

We all have dirty laundry, wash them privately, don’t expose yourself. Remain silent when people try to attack you or shame you. Whatever is not confirmed is not true. You are the only one who knows all the truth about you.

Don’t attract pity or praise: People who pity you do not help you, in fact they might think that you are weak and could mock you at their annual gossipping meeting. And if you are doing things for the sake of praise you are wasting your time.

Choose yourself all the time; never put any one’s feelings above yours.

Trust your own intuition if you feel someone is being malicious towards you, giving you back handed compliments then you should let them go

Never speak bad of another woman. Do not lazy around gossipping. Keep your hands clean and your conscience clear.

Avoid women with low self esteem they will bring you down. For some reason they do not like seeing other women who are doing better than them

Be careful who you seek validation from. Not everyone needs to be pleased. If they are in no way capable of contributing to your life in the ways you prefer, then don’t ask them for their opinions or please them.

Do not compete with other women, if you do you are only putting them on a pedestal. You are making the the standard by which you measure your progress. If you do compete, begin digging your grave.

Do not give unsolicited advice, do not share the inner workings of your mind, If your mouth is very charitable you better start journaling.

Be well-rounded and interesting. It attracts people. It also keeps you busy because you are continually improving and learning. An idle mind is an easily subdued one.

Avoid women who want to live vicariously through you; they want to know who you know, shop where you shop, befriend who you befriend, wear what you wear.

Pay attention to the source of your discomfort; get rid of them. You tell them your dreams and they remind you of all your hindrances. They ask why are you dressed so fancy as though fancy isn’t subjective. They undermine you interests and goals. They will also be quick to bring you down because they are afraid of your potential.

Do not fear power or please power. When we see powerful people we try to hard to befriend them, to be close to them but you need to be comfortable without them. Don’t push yourself in the name of friendship, do not try too hard to be in their inner circle. Your independence of mind is the most important. Instead become a powerful woman, aloof to the presence of power but aware of its importance. Be an ingenious and intelligent and use your creativity to uplift yourself. When you do so it will be hard to ignore you. Even the powerful will become an ally.

Enjoy moments of solitude. Use that time to develop yourself, improve your body, learn new skills, create with your mind, read widely, become more elegant, then launch yourself.

Remember the most powerful women are the most intelligent. Inspired by Robert Greene's 48 Laws of Power. Use at your discretion.

[becomingthatgirl111]

these are the habits you have to give up before the year is out:

worrying about people and things you can’t control

negative conversations with others

obsessing about what others think

lying for others

expect others to do what you want them to do and get angry if they don't do it

creating expectations on others

gossiping

making excuses for not taking care of your responsibilities

lying to yourself

putting your needs lasts

giving priority to other people's opinions rather than your own

letting the negative opinions of others affect you

limiting yourself

comparing themselves to others and putting them on a pedestal

giving prominence to people who do not deserve it

set boundaries with others but not with yourself

spending too much time on social media

habits you need to implement:

create a daily routine that you feel comfortable with and suits you

calming your mind a few times a day

positive affirmations and healthy thoughts

complimenting others and congratulating their success

letting go of things you can’t control

ending toxic relationships

more time outside

making yourself and your health a priority

self compassion and self forgiveness

taking responsibilities

more self care

beginning with a motivation each day

do what you need for yourself

starting something new (activity, hobby, habit)

not to depend on others and to learn to do things you want to do on your own

focus on the good things and not on the things you don't like

exercise and eat healthy for the sake of your body and not to fit into a beauty canon

getting out of your comfort zone

focus on building healthy relationships rather than being guided by false expectations of how relationships should be

be true to yourself and your values

not to sell or denigrate you for money or lavish gifts

[sunsetsimon]

at the beginning of your relationship, simon is not used to physical affection. his body just exists, only being touched by someone else while receiving a friendly bump from soap or while in combat. he's naturally on guard, feeling uncomfortable with people behind him or when they stand too close.

so once you start dating, it doesn't immediately occur to him that he should be touching you sometimes. no hugs when your date ends, no cuddling on the couch while watching a movie, no kisses when it's just the two of you. the actions are unnatural to him, having to teach himself to be okay with touch. and he won't realize it unless you tell him, explaining how one of the things you need in a relationship is to be able to be physically attached.

it's a big learning curve for him to accept it. not that he doesn't like it, or yearn for it even, it's just not anything he was allowed to have. so he flinches, reeling his arm away from you when you grab it to catch his attention, or pulling his knee closer into himself when you brush each other on the couch. and it hurts you, constantly feeling rejected and like he doesn't want you as more than just company. you have to remind yourself it isn't easy for him, but that doesn't make it easier on you.

but oh, does simon yearn for touch. though he may jump and pull away, those small touches mean so much to him. he catches himself thinking about it on his sleepless nights, remembering your touch from earlier and fantasizing about what it'd be like to have you laying next to him right now. to have his head on your chest, huge body tucked against yours, shorter legs entwined with his under the sheets. would you play with his hair? running your fingers through the short blond strands, giving that small tug that could make his eyes roll back?

and although it's a challenge, he works really hard on it with you. beginning to let his knee rest against yours, pulling your hand into his lap to hold, giving you a tight hug before he leaves for the night. he loves the way you get so excited each time, feeling your palms get sweaty when he grabs your hand or your body melting into him when he embraces you. positive association with touch is what he needs, and you give it to him perfectly.

so once he gets comfortable, you can't keep the guy off of you! he's pulling you into him for a wet kiss as soon as you let him in, pushing you into the wall beside your front door because he just can't wait any longer. sometimes he picks you up and carries you around just cause he can, loving the way you squeal and grip onto his shirt as he carries you to bed. si automatically assumes cuddle positioning any time he gets onto the couch, not having to say anything to get you to crawl into his burly arms, holding you there until he decides you can go.

his favorite thing though, is when you touch him. the unexpectedness of it, the feeling of being wanted, desired, needed, he can't get enough. constant butterflies erupt in his stomach when you reach for him, pulling him closer to you because it feels better that way. saying 'i want you close' without words.

poor si nearly passed out the first time you back hugged him, slipping your arms under his shirt to caress the soft pale skin of his tummy. he's ticklish too, so don't push too far or he's going to be throwing you onto the bed for a tickle attack!

it takes him a bit to warm up, but once he does, you'll never go without his touch for too long. so you better not keep your touch from him either, he doesn't take the feeling of rejection from you well. he really is an amazing boyfriend <3