#learned about it when a Chinese friend made it and I recreated it when I still used to cook with meat

[heartstringsduet]

I know I'm very late to this, but it's Nice Ask Week!

When do you think Carlos found out that TK can cook? What was the first thing TK made for him and what was the occasion?

Hey friend 🥰🥰 I think it took a while but it did happen before Carlos moved in. Usually, Carlos just likes to cook and take care of others and TK helps him cut if he helps at all and doesn't just gobble down ingredients. But of course Carlos has late shifts and by the time they get so close that TK just stays over at Carlos' without him there, TK wants to surprise him with a dish. I think he'd go for comfort, something he cooked for himself but not one of the go-to quick meals. A labor of love with a garantued outcome.

Maybe I'm projecting my own penchant for cooking East Asian food, but I think TK might make five spice pork. Also because he misses getting it from Spring Street. If you do eat meat, definitely give this a try!! https://vjcooks.com/chinese-pork-belly/

[pain-suffering-even]

various headcanons that i forgot aren't actually canon pt. 2

the americans (thomas, christopher, and laura), plus china (zhigang) and germany (lennart)

Thomas, Christopher, and Laura are childhood/middle school friends

Laura would always bring home stray cats and dogs

Lennart and Thomas become friends when Lennart asks for help with an S rank gate that spawned in Germany

Lennart isn't super close with Christopher, since him and Thomas tend to swing between being best friends or mortal enemies every week, but Lennart thinks he's nice

Christopher visits Europe a lot, since he's partially retired, so they get closer then as Lennart shows him around

Zhigang is usually too busy to hangout with Thomas or Christopher, but whenever the Annual Guild Conference is around, they tend to dedicate that week to hanging out

Christopher hates any mention of Kamish. Thomas doesn't care and thinks Christopher needs to get over himself. Hence their strained relationship

Zhigang is most definitely traumatized but works too hard to notice

Lennart wasn't part of Kamish, but did participate in the cleanup team. That's where he first met Zhigang and Christopher. Thomas was too busy recovering, so he never got to meet him

Hwang Dongsu gets on Laura's nerves, but Thomas usually steps in if he's eyeing her a little too creepily that day

After becoming friends, the group decided to attend the Annual Guild Conference dressed up with a theme. They've done pink (Barbie-esque), Aloha Shirts (wonder who came up with that one), emo/punk/goth, and the latest, Disney Princesses (Lennart loves Disney movies). There isn't much anyone can do to stop them. Even Laura participates

Thomas disregards a lot of his guild leader duties to steal Christopher and Laura and go on roadtrips. Sometimes, they go visit Europe to see Lennart

Zhigang basically never leaves China, being a hardcore workaholic, so they always have to plan to go see them on their birthday and for the holidays, etc

Thomas has a custom aloha shirt, except it's made to withstand S rank attacks. He used the Scavenger Guild budget money on it. As a tax write off. Laura wishes she could be mad but she's impressed he thought of such a thing

Christopher is scarred from Kamish due to seeing Thomas almost die from tanking attack after attack for him. He almost died. It sparks an argument, where Christopher leaves the Scavenger Guild, and their frenemies relationship begins

Once, Thomas sneaks up on Christopher and scares the ever loving shit out of him. Christopher accidentally sets the room on fire and sets off the fire alarm and emergency sprinklers. The entire building has to be evacuated

Thomas does the same thing (sneaking up on someone) to Lennart and his screech is priceless

They joke about putting a bell on Thomas, like they do with cats, just to be aware of where they are in the room. Laura is really, seriously considering it, because despite Thomas being 10 feet tall and built like a fridge, he can be quiet when he wants to be

Lennart casually mentions he has four sisters, and his first job was being a hairdresser in his village in Germany. This leads to him finally dealing with the mess that is Thomas' curly and knotted up hair

Zhigang got into university on a baseball scholarship, before all the awakenings happened. This is why they tend to swing their sword... like a baseball bat. And instinctively swing whenever they see an object flying at them. Thomas has recreated the game fruit ninja in real life using this information

Lennart started learning Chinese, because despite him knowing about three other languages, Chinese isn't one of them. This leads to the two of them having conversations that Thomas can't listen to, and it drives him insane (it's usually Lennart complimenting Zhigang, and then Zhigang compliments Lennart, etc etc)

Laura threatens to retire early whenever Thomas gets on her nerves a little too much and it always worries the entire Scavenger Guild, because she's kind of the only reason they're functioning. Thomas would solo too many gates on his own if it weren't for her

Lennart is one of the most put-together and polite hunters out there, but even he struggles not decking Dongsu in the face when he drops casual comments about his and Laura's physique in front of his face

Thomas has a lot of other S rankers in his guild from various other countries. He isn't very well liked, since he's "stolen" so many of them, like with Dongsu, but he doesn't mind (the trend started after Christopher left, when he no longer had a vice, or a sparring partner that could withstand his attacks. He's looking for a replacement, in a way, but it never feels right)

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday!

Venetian blinds were invented in Japan.

A one dollar bill has been in an average of 3 bras.

Houses in Britain numbered 13 cost £9,000 less than average.

In the 1940s, butt plugs were marketed as a headache remedy.

There has only been 240 years of peace in the last 3000 years.

It would take 23 bales of straw to break a camel's back.

Open plan offices increase worker stress, blood pressure and turnover.

In the United States, giving birth is 20 times more lethal than skydiving.

In 2004, a boat in Texas capsized because everyone ran to one side to look at a nudist beach.

In 2012, a smuggler was arrested at the Smuggler’s Inn, Washington, after arriving in a car with the licence plate SMUGLER.

One outbreak of Legionnaires' disease was traced to the hot tub at the Playboy mansion.

In Alabama, it is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

Brad Pitt was banned from China for 20 years after his role in the film ‘Seven Years In Tibet’.

A survey in Colorado found people are much happier if they believe they are having more sex than their neighbours.

Japanese researchers have concluded that cats do recognize the sound of their owner’s voice when called … they just don't care.

The novel 'All Quiet On The Western Front' was banned in Poland for being pro-German and in Germany for being anti-German.

On busy Chinese trains, passengers take turns on the seats so everyone gets to sit for some of the journey.

In the Middle Ages, a lovesick man could be prescribed ‘therapeutic intercourse’, whereas a lovesick woman was prescribed marriage.

Christie’s auctioneers are taught to stop their hands shaking with nerves by clenching their buttocks.

80% of the UK’s bread is made by a process so nutritionally barren that vitamins must be added back in by law.

Dog lovers tend to have more Facebook friends than cat lovers, but cat lovers get invited to more parties.

On D-Day, J. D. Salinger fought with six chapters of ‘The Catcher In The Rye’ in his backpack.

The belief that ideas from the past are by default worse than ideas of the modern age is called ‘chronological snobbery’.

In the public toilets at Rothesay, there is a plaque indicating which urinal was used by the then Prince Charles when he visited.

Great Ormond Street Hospital have recreated their site in Minecraft to help kids who want to explore the building so that it’s less scary when they arrive.

John Shepherd-Barron the inventor of the ATM originally intended them to have PINs that were six digits long, but his wife could only remember four digits at a time, so that became the standard.

In 2016, Microsoft set up a Twitter chatbot that could learn to converse based on what people told it. It was using swear words by the next morning.

The annual ‘Bad Sex In Fiction’ award was cancelled for 2020, as the organisers believed that the public had been "subjected to too many bad things” that year to justify exposing it to bad sex as well.

Google Image search was invented after Jennifer Lopez’s green dress at the 2000 Grammys became their most popular ever search, but they had no way of providing users with a quick result.

A study has shown that birds that live in colder places have smaller beaks. McGill University’s blog published an article about the study with the headline ‘Peckers Get Smaller Where It Gets Colder’.

Every year, Lake Superior University publishes a list of words and phrases they would like to banish the next year. This year's entries include "moving forward", "does that make sense?" and "it is what it is".

In 2006, 84-year-old Edith Macefield from Seattle refused a $1 million offer from a shopping mall developer to move, so it was built around her house. In fact, Pixar's film ‘Up’ was later modelled after her home.

The first recorded attempted human flight with artificial wings in history was in the 6th century in China. Emperor Kao Yang would strap prisoners to kites and throw them off buildings to see if they could fly.

When HMS Dolphin stopped in Tahiti in 1767, the sailors found that local women were prepared to exchange sex for iron nails. The captain ordered a stop to the trade as the significant loss of nails from the ship had massively compromised its structural integrity.

Compound swears like ‘shitgibbon’ work best when the second word is a two-syllable word, where the first syllable is stressed and contains the same vowel of the swear. This is why ‘cockwomble’ works but ‘dickwomble’ does not.

Centre Point was constructed between 1963 and 1966. It was one of the first skyscrapers in London. It stood empty from the time of its completion (1966) until 1975. In 1995 it became a Grade II listed building.

The shortest commercial flight in the world is from the Westray Airport to the Papa Westray Airport between two small Orkney Islands north of Scotland. It's only a distance of 1.7 miles and, if the wind is ideal, it can take as little as 47 seconds from start to finish.

A Dutch supermarket chain introduced ‘slow checkouts’ for people who enjoy chatting, helping many people, especially the elderly, deal with loneliness. The move has proven so successful that they installed the ‘slow checkouts’ in 200 stores.

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.

[quarantinegirls]

January 2nd

Today, I woke up at 7:30 to FaceTime a friend in China. We were neighbors, became good friends in middle school, and would often copy each other's homework on the morning bus to make up for lost sleep. She is now a dentist, been married for a year, and working on her third degree. We chatted and laughed from our bellies. Towards the end, she moved her phone camera to the pillow, and there was her husband, soundly asleep like a happy rock.

I got up, made coffee, had a simple breakfast, and took care of some digital chores - insurance, emails, fun stuff that you suddenly get the urge to take care of on January 2nd.

I then went for a quick walk in the snow, came back and spent an indulgent 50 minutes to do yoga. My back and shoulders stretched to the point of soreness, and my thighs and core tightened and burned during chair pose.

Slightly sweaty, I heated up a quick lunch of leftover pasta and chicken drumsticks. I tried to savor every bite while waiting in an online chat for a Geico agent to get back to me about something.

A text popped up. A deep, time-sensitive question about relationships from a close friend. I call, we talk for an hour.

I fill up the tub while finishing dishes that managed to accumulate before dinnertime. Picked a book and hopped into the bath. I let the hot water carry me away with the words on the page.

Today was the last day of the Christmas-NewYears-winterpotato amalgamation vacation. I never know how to feel or what to do at the end of vacations: it seems that no matter what, there would be a brief moment of dread and resignation, with a sprinkle of preemtpive nostalgia. That maybe instead of staying occupied to avoid it, I should embrace it. Let it wash over me, fully immerse in it, even braise in it a little bit, and emerge a ready person for whatever lies ahead.

I remember a similar feeling from school at the end of vacations, but in school, I could get excited about seeing friends all the time, whereas, just two nights ago, I had the biggest FOMO watching all the NYE parties on Instagram and seriously doubted if I was a loser for never having spent NYE drunk or with friends before.

Usually, I try to write something - anything - for the conclusion of a year and for the beginning of a new one. But 2022 felt inconclusive in an oddly good way. It was the first year I felt stretched by small crises, the first year adulthood found a way to wrestle with my psyche, the first year I fell deeper in love with someone instead of falling out of it, and the first year I made a career move.

In 2022, I had been deeply lost and depressed, bitterly homesick and confused. I had spiritual highs and I cried so many times while praying. I tied my career to some of the biggest identity questions, so I searched, asked, doubted myself, searched and asked again. And though I'm still in that cycle, I'm not panicking anymore, I'm just trying to enjoy the beautiful views along the way while making sure every footstep I put down is in good faith.

So how could I write a 2022 summary for myself? It feels like something is just starting to unfold, like when the trailers finish and the lights go out, and the real movie is about to begin.

Tonight, I labored over two pounds of potatoes and leeks to nurse a creamy potato soup with homemade chicken stock, browned then roasted Cajun chicken, and recreated one of my childhood favorites: stir-fry Chinese squash with dried shrimps. It's snowing again in Denver, and I'm finally learning to like it.

-R

[lochnessies]

@cockati3l the church isn’t ruling people from behind the scenes. even the devs confirmed that. the church in adrestia doesn’t exist, the church in the alliance is ‘toothless’ and nobody pays attention to them as said by lorenz, and the western church is in open rebellion against the central. also, when does the church control anybody in the game? nobody is forced to follow them and they even take on nonbelievers as staff.

once again, what corruption are you talking about? it can’t be what edelgard mentions in her speech because that’s been proven false.

it can’t be killing the western priests because they attempted assassination more than once, grave robbed, and attempted to kill students. not to mention are racist af

it can’t be changing history a little because in your own words “what the fuck so u want her to do?” humans killed her race when they found out the amount of power stored in their bones, blood, and hearts. at that time in fodlan’s history clans were fighting for power with the relics of her family and she had to find a way to broker peace as said by intsys: “seiros and co. meddled with history not in order to rule over humans, but to quell the flames of war and chaos as much as possible, and to also keep a steady balance about humanity.”

also yes, rhea was about to step down. she says so herself. even calling herself a “mere proxy” for byleth.

tell me how claude piggybacked off of edelgard’s war to further his own aims? the game tells and shows that he’s spending his time trying to just keep the alliance together.

she’s literally called the hegemon. there is no freedom under her rule. she centralizes all power onto herself and makes herself the supreme ruler. what she says goes and in order to achieve that result she murdered, lied, and stole.

she literally said “i have no regrets.” why? because she doesn’t. she may feel kinda bad about all the dying but obviously not enough to stop what she’s doing and find another path.

also her words about the followers of seiros are far from kind. she calls them “mindless” multiple times (even in her s-support). the faithful are forced to flee from her. people even lose contact with the believers in the empire, and it’s not even allowed to be one in the first place. not to mention in hanneman/manuela’s ending the church can come back but only under the empire’s supervision. so we have a state controlled church. look at all the freedom!

when does dimitri leave crestless people to get fucked? he literally talks at length that he believes that people with crests and people without need to work together and recognize each other’s strengths.

also the church isn’t the one behind the “crest system” (if you can even call it that since the way each house interacts with it is so different). crests/clans became noble houses because of their strength (aka the empire’s meritocracy in the beginning) and the strong aka crest bearers rose to the top bc in the 91 years it took to kill nemesis his elites had already started their own bloodlines and families. the nintendo interview says that rhea lied about the origin of the crests and relics bc she wanted the wars to end and the only way to have gotten rid of the crests humans had would be to genocide them.

with nemesis gone and the adrestian empire now in charge of the continent, a meritocracy started to form among the nobility. hanneman in his support with dorothea says this about the founding of the empire: “consider this. at its inception, the concept of nobility assumed that the greatest among the populace would rise to power. in my mind, i believe that those who value knowledge, those who strive for more, and wish to protect and guide their fellow man. however, in practice, nobility often serves to keep those deemed commoners down, segregated from those who, by chance, were born to a noble family.” this is also paired with ferdiand’s support with edelgard: “certainly, we must recognize the common folk who strive for greatness and attain it. but for those of us born into nobility, things are more complicated. from birth, nobles must excel. if we do not, we will be forced out of our houses. this environment breeds superior individuals, and they, in turn, recreate the rigorous environment for their own children. without that cycle, there would be no political elite guiding the world towards prosperity.” so from these supports we learn that the empire was founded on the idea of the strongest shall rule and they would be replaced if they didn’t reach a standard. however, over time, the nobility started to abuse this power of theirs and the idea of meritocracy was forgotten. which, ironically, is how it always works in the real world as well. that’s where the concept of nobles often bearing crests comes from. it’s comes from the empire not the church. and when faerghus and the alliance break off from it they kept the tradition. also, if you talk to rhea in verdant wind when she talks about zanado you can tell she hates crests. at the very least she hates the fact that humans have them due to how they were acquired. you know, through genocide. it’s also in the book of seiros that the reason the goddess left was because people were abusing crests and it saddened her and she went back to the blue sea star. so no, the church isn’t propagating anything. and they can’t force the noble houses to adhere to their religion so they don’t.

i’m not sure what you mean by “squander any rebellion”. i think you mean squash/stamp out? well the only rebellion we see in the game is from the western church and as i said previously, the priests were punished because they attempted assassination more than once, grave robbed, and attempted to kill students. not to mention are racist af. the church wasn’t the aggressor and only stopped the rebellions because they were dangerous and were also attacking innocent people. however, we do know that in crimson flower there are rebellions under edelgard’s rule and they are put down as well by the empire secret police aka hubert.

the devs also mention that azure moon was written to be a counter to crimson flower. and that is the route where dimitri has to learn to rely on his friends and work together with his people in order to usher in a bright future. in crimson flower edelgard berates people who lean on anybody else for support (all while taking some from byleth) and believes humans need to stand on their own two feet. in azure moon she says: “if after all of this you believe the weak will still be weak, that is only because they are too used to relying on others instead of on themselves.” to which dimitri responds: “yes. perhaps someone as strong as you are can claim something like that. but you cannot force that belief onto others. people aren't as strong as you think they are. there are those who cannot live without their faith... and those who cannot go on once they have lost their reason for living. you path will not be able to save them. it is the path of the strong, and so, it could only benefit the strong.” so yes, there is someone who represents human unity in the game: dimitri.

edelgard doesn’t make fodlan better. she’s the game’s hegemon (called this in three routes). there are rebellions under her. her people are starving (ashe says on cf), she attacked two nations she had no rights to, and defamed an entire race/religion.

crimson flower ends in flames and darkness. this is made VERY clear by the ending mural. unlike the others, which all show a very joyful scene; am has dimitri being loved by the people with archbishop byleth at his side, ss has byleth being held up in the crowd of people as it talks about how they are now the arbiter of every soul and mother of all life (which are the exact words used to describe sothis), and vw has claude talking with the people and the almyrans are visiting; which infers peace between the two nations. however in cf, we have edelgard standing on the flags of the nations she has conquered. she holds a napoleonic staff in her hands, and the mural portrays people with their heads bowed in obvious sadness and defeat. the biggest indicator that this is not an ending to be celebrated, but rather lamented, is the border. In all the other endings, the border is white and is accented by the color of the route. in cf you can see that the border is black. black and red: colors synonymous with evil or darkness. the epilogue also mentions rebellions against her rule that she has put down.

edelgard’s role in the story is that of nemesis 2.0. someone that is manipulated by twsitd and is fed false information to lead her to finish what nemesis started over a thousand years ago - the extinction of the nabatean race.

another massive red flag is what the devs have said about crimson flower being the supreme ruler route. “edelgard in "crimson fower", or rather known as the, "supreme ruler (hegemon) route" is something we honestly meant to be much more difficult to enter.” (they were talking about why it is harder to enter cf than ss). let’s focus on the word ‘hegemon’. the direct definition is ‘a supreme ruler.’ in another interview they mention the ‘hegemon’s path’ which is a chinese philosophy that goes along with the mandate of heaven that the devs have said that they based cf off of. there is a rule of the mandate of heaven: the right to rule is only granted if the ruler cares about his people more than he cares about himself, and if this is not the case, then the people rise up to overthrow the tyrant. we know for a fact that edelgard is this ‘tyrant/hegemon’ because she is called this in the game.

the devs have also said: “due to all the previous titles in the series, the thought/impression that the empire = antagonists is left upon the playerbase. when you think about the "empire", you usually get some sort of "bad/evil" image, i think. and as for the story, it really feels like it started from the romance of three kingdoms, but we force them all to take part in school life. In other words, a period in which there was peace must exist, before starting the fires of war. and because of that, someone evil (villain) has to exist, and so we had the empire bear that burden.” this interview also blew the common argument pro-empire fans had of fodlan not being at peace at the start of the game. they said themselves that the three countries were at peace. even the game states at the start that ‘these three ruling powers now exist in relative harmony.’

also even if other characters did some things wrong that doesn’t suddenly let her off the hook for her actions just like her’s don’t nullify theirs. if she wanted to peacefully change how things worked in her nation then fine. i don’t care. however, she invaded two other independent nations in order to change their systems and put them under her control. that isn’t morally gray no matter how you spin it. it’s tyrannical.

actually it was humans as a whole who fucked up the earth first. the agarthans are a race of humans that have been around for over a thousand years at the start of the game. when the goddess sothis came down from her home on the blue sea star she arrived in fodlan and took on a form that resembled humanity and lived among them. she used her blood to birth a race of children called nabateans. in the beginning, these two nations lived in harmony.

sothis and her children helped the humans advance their technology and weapons over time until the humans’ hubris grew to the point that they began to wage war on each other and eventually the goddess herself - the one who gave them the technology to do so. as confirmed by seteth, (who was there during that time) some of the weapons they used in the war are also seen in the game, such as the missile of light that destroys fort merceus. so basically, it was a ye olde nuclear war that almost completely destroyed the land and the humans. during this, a faction of humans left the surface to live below ground. they built a city called shambala and officially became known as agarthans. back on the surface, sothis used her godly power to try and heal the earth. however, due to the incredible damage done by the weapons, so much of her power was used that she fell into a deep sleep to try and recover. so no, sothis didn’t fuck shit up. it was the arrogant humans that took her kindness and decided they wanted to try and kill each other with it.

yes, dimitri and claude do have the rest of fodlan under their command at the end of the day. however, they way they achieved this was nothing like edelgard’s. they had no intentions of starting a war to unite the three under their rule. dimitri was given the alliance (the round table came to an agreement and willingly became part of faerghus) and when he kills edelgard the empire is now, by default his whether he likes it or not. same with claude. he defeats the empire which by that point had taken the kingdom. both are now without leadership and he doesn’t even stay. he fucks off to almyra. edelgard on the other hand started the war to put all of fodland back under her rule. it’s not comparable.

[life-rewritten]

ITSAY EP 4- SELF-SABOTAGE, HINDERANCES, AND REVERSE HELPS

Warning a painful post coming. I cried so much while analysing this. A lot happened on episode 4 of ITSAY, and I've spent days trying to process. First of all, with that episode my weary heart grows hopeful for a happy ending, even if it is bittersweet, I can't see what else they could possibly do after breaking my heart into pieces. So yes I don't see deaths coming, I don't even see running away from feelings coming anymore, I feel like episode 4 fulfilled all the foreshadowing clues left, and there's nothing left now except but to wait and see the results of the exams. To fully understand the episode and relieve that whole heartbreak again, let's analyse the theme this time and this time let's look deeply at Tehs: Self-loss, regression and sabotage because of the overwhelming consequences of feelings. 

THE CONSEQUENCES OF MISTRANSLATION OF THE HEART

For me, this episode was like a cut that refused to heal. It's easy to predict most of the events that occur in this episode: Teh freaking out about his sexuality, trying to distance himself from Oh, Oh getting hurt becoming resentful, Oh becoming even more hurt when Teh finally tries to call what they have off, both become lost and confused and defeated, Teh gives up all he has for Oh, Oh rejects it and they return back to their rivalry/ their relationship regresses.

 Remember in my previous post (here) I said that Episode 1 was going to be mirrored in Episode 5, that there were so many full circle moments they could return to. Well, I think Episode 1 started to be reflected in Episode 4 with our characters: Oh and Teh have repeated a cycle again of resentment, rivalry and regression (will discuss this in my next post). They've returned back to their old state as rivals no longer friends, no longer lovers, no longer intimate. 

And it's not like Teh wanted this to happen. Teh is so lost when he's without Oh, remember he's addicted and obsessed with Oh, Oh is like the only thing that keeps him grounded and not restless. The fear of losing Oh is something that Teh can't control, it causes him to act out, to lose his mind and it causes him to try and try and try every single time to ensure it doesn't happen. But Teh forgot who Oh was, and I also did. We all screamed from the top of our lungs that Teh would give up his place for Oh but we just forgot about a specific part of that equation: Oh's reaction. I thought it'd be easy; Oh will realise too late what had occurred and Teh would have left by then and he'd run to the sunset and keep waiting for Teh, but nooo I forgot about how Resentful, Prideful and Angry Oh gets whenever he gets hurt by Teh  (shown in episode 1). But before we go into Ohs state this episode, Let's look more at Teh in detail, try and understand him more in this episode when looking at our theme.

TEH: Reverse-Help and Self-Hindrance

Again our Chinese translation lessons become a tool for foreshadowing in this episode. From the beginning of the episode as we see Teh create the tutorial guide, and try and tutor Oh, we get foreshadowing titles/translations such as the word for Reverse Help and it's further emphasised with another translation the word for being a hindrance because of trying to help. As Teh goes through his devastating, and uncontrollable self regression, he tries to go into overdrive. First, he tries to keep his promise to the two people he's torn about; 

For Tarn, he tries to retain his position as someone who loves her for 3 years, as someone who still wants what they have, as someone who is still the same .

For Oh he tries to keep the promise he made to him in episode 1 that he'd help him fulfil his dreams by tutoring.  

Tutoring Chinese Translations Whilst Mistranslating Feelings

Tutoring Oh has always been his way of trying to make things make sense, for example when Oh told him he couldn't return back to their closeness as best friends in episode 1, Teh decides to show him that he will keep working on their friendship and proceeds to help him pass the exams by tutoring. Tutoring Oh becomes an excuse for Teh with everything, to get closer to him when he doesn't want to think, to avoid underlying issues whenever things seem hectic, and to spend as much time as he can to be near Oh without having to face the implications of it. Tutoring Oh is to make Oh learn how to translate Chinese so he can pass the exam to get to the University. 

However, tutoring Oh being Teh's priority shows what he truly wants as his goals: to always be near Oh no matter what, to grow with Oh (for both of them to go the University together and fulfil their dreams) and to repay Oh for the time he hurt him when they were kids/enemies (insulting his dreams and making him self doubt). Teh puts the tutoring as a priority because he puts Oh as his number one, Ohs dreams are important to him, and that's all that matters even if things feel too much to handle. This is already why you see what happens to Teh during this episode, he starts to hyperfocus on that priority as he tries to avoid and avoid what is truly going and instead of helping all he does is make it worse: 

Here are instances in episode 4 where Teh's over helping does nothing but make things worse for him and for the people he cares about; 

TEHS REVERSE HELP TO OH

As mentioned, we have the tutoring. The whole obsession with Ohs dreams become more of an obstacle to Oh, who feels frustrated at Teh, who isn't understanding how he feels. Teh and Oh crossed the line and become more than friends after episode 3, but Teh tried to run away from Oh and then tried to pretend everything was okay. For Oh, Teh hyperfocused on the tutoring (ironic since again he's focusing only on Oh) but he was breaking and causing him to question everything because of his avoidance of the issue. 

Both Oh and Tarn had no clue where they stood with Teh, and he didn't know how to tell them how he felt, because he himself didn't know. Remember the tutoring is all about translation and as I said before the show is all about the consequences of mistranslating feelings when young. When we are young, we don't understand how strong feelings can be, how painful, how confusing (if its someone you can't be with in your perspective) or how uncontrollable. Like Teh instead of trying to listen to the heart, we revert to logic to try and explain feelings and typically that leaves us with nothing but confusion and exhaustion. The more Teh kept running away and avoiding the subject, the more he was affecting both Oh and Tarn: 

Tarn: Because she needed to study, she made it her priority that her aspirations mattered to her that's why she held of their relationship for 3 years despite liking Teh, her aspirations were more important. But now Teh was making her revert to someone who couldn't stop thinking about their attraction to each other; the more Teh led her on, the more her feelings were becoming a  hindrance to her aspirations( trying to help but being a hindrance). But again Ironic because Teh was trying to help her too, he was trying to 'do right' by her by not changing what they have, he was trying to stay by her side even though he was no longer there in the present for her. 

Oh: Because he was starting to realise that just like Teh everything revolved around him, he was beginning to become hurt, self-hating and resentful towards everyone and Teh. He was beginning to lose the zeal to keep on struggling for his exams (Teh revived his hope thus without Teh everything was beginning to seem useless), and he was starting to feel broken-hearted each time Teh avoided the situation.  Oh was realising his dependency on Teh but it frightened him because it could be gone, it could all go wrong, and Teh still had Tarn.  He was starting to be exhausted with everything because when he tried to keep his promise (to keep them a secret), Teh refused to treat it like that, Teh kept on pulling his hopes up and then destroying them, and he became tired of it. 

: The tutorial guide

This brings us to the tutorial guide. Damn, the way my heart screamed for Teh during this. One because as his mother put it, Teh spent nights, days recreating a tutorial guide with 1000 words for Oh to learn for the exam. By tearing out parts of his own revision guides, he used it to create a version that was understandable/ easy to understand. This is clearly a metaphor for what he was doing again with his over helping by tearing/ giving out parts of himself to create different versions of himself for the people he cared about, so it was easy for them to deal with his change. 

The guide was beautiful; you could see the care, the effort, the time he put into it because Tehs priority as mentioned was Oh, Ohs dream and Oh being near him. The guide represented what Teh was trying to do all episode, to make everything easy, pleasing and understanding for everyone.  Teh went into overdrive with the tutorial guide because it was the only thing he could do to again avoid and run away from what was going on, on the surface. 

Now at first, this tutorial guide seems helpful just like Tehs intentions, and it brings Oh back to him. Oh forgives him and they reunite, even proceeding to continue their relationship like before, talking, returning to their beach and doing what they wanted with each other. Except we see later at the end of the episode, all Tehs hard work was for nothing. Oh was resentful because Teh brought his hopes up once again, but refused to deal with the situation again. The tutorial guide instead of being a helping guide to Oh became a waste, it led to Oh even retreating and avoiding to study for the exam because he was heartbroken. Oh did not use the tutorial guide and did not show up for the exam. 

Meanwhile, Teh realises how much he gave to Oh that was wasted and couldn't be retrieved, for example, he later discovers he has to study for the exam only to see empty tatters of his previous revision guide (himself), he'd given everything to Oh, and it was wasted. 

Tehs acting position

This is why Teh giving up his place for Oh with the application is just so sensitive. It's romantic how much Oh is Teh's priority. From episode 1, we've gotten a repetition that getting past this application was Tehs vision, everything he wanted since he was a child. Again we see the evolution of all this; he spent so many years studying, practising, preparing for his acting dreams. His mum did all she could to show him how proud she was of him, his brother worked hard to save money to provide plane tickets and cash for his university dream. Everyone put effort into helping Teh and pushing Teh to his goal. And it's heartwrenching to see him give it all up. 

Us romanticists squealed and hoped that Oh would understand, that this was the first steps for our two to return back together. There's still the exam, we thought, Teh and Oh will reunite, they'll be together, in University, we'll run to the sunset together and scream after that is done except, instead of Oh to see it as a gift, he calls Teh out, he's insulted, he's annoyed, and he's frustrated. He's not going to accept it, he's going to relinquish it. 

Again all Teh did was a waste. And it's worse because this was the final thing he could give up for Oh to be near him, it was the last thing he could give of himself in an attempt to make things go back to normal, the final thing he could do to have Oh forgive him. And by the end, Teh is truly mentally, psychologically, and physically exhausted and gone. There's no more to give, no more to help, he lost it all, and he still couldn't figure out why. 

In an attempt to help everyone, to revert everything to normal Teh is the person who's the most broken and lost. It's to Oh on the surface with his actions, but  he's also trying to help/ impress everyone else as well:

His family: 

His mum who has made it a thing of how helpful Tehs brother has been in her life. Their father isn't here, and Tehs mum is someone who relies on her sons' dreams and actions to provide a sense of success in her life. For Teh he couldn't live up to his brother, but once he told his mother about his dreams about being an actor she rejoiced and boasted to all her friends about it; she was proud, immensely excited and driven to push him to his dreams. 

So when Teh realises that his mum will also be proud that he had a girlfriend like his brother, another form of success, he regresses back to this thoughts, he still needed Tarn to impress his mother, he was reminded of his previous goals, to impress her and be seen as equal to his brother. So he tries to keep what he and Tarn had as normal to keep making everyone around him 'happy', and 'impressed' except it led to Oh hurt. 

It's like a sad game of choices; if he chooses Oh, everyone else he's trying to impress falls apart; for example, the revelation when he decided to give up on the acting application, it wasn't just him affected, everyone had put their hopes and excitement on it, and he ended up losing their praise and support. 

In fact, he came face to face with the thing he was trying to avoid, his mother proceeds to harshly compare him with his brother (I thought she was so out of line for this) and she finally shows him that all his fears and notions on this were real. His mum had been seeing him as a failure compared to his brother it just sucked. 

If he chose them, he lost Oh again he saw that happen when he tries to revert all he had with Oh back to normal, he broke Ohs self-esteem and made Oh go into self-hate and despair. He, on the other hand, was also just as broken, confused and defeated. 

In the end, the sick game of choices, as he tried to impress everyone Teh became a shell of nothing, no support, no praise, no love (both losing Tarn and Oh) and no aims (losing his path to his dreams and his confidence). 

Self-sabotage, hindrance, and regression

So you see Teh becomes a mess because of his failure to translate his feelings correctly. The obstacles to him being able to do so causes him to try and do so in a logical way; trying to split his self and please everyone. He becomes self-sabotaging, and as Tarn tells him he only ends up hurting himself, losing everything he tried to hold on to, and he also ends up becoming a regressed version of himself with nothing to lean on (in his perspective).

 It hurts because these are the results of Internalised homophobia, the results of a society that has made people like Oh and Teh feel like they have to hide and hate who they are at a young age,  the effects of immaturity and young age; not able to understand or deal with feelings, not being able to know what they mean or able to control how we act when it comes. 

It's all consequences of falling in love so young. And as much as falling in love is worth it when you meet the one, it sucks that some LGBTQ+ have to go through obstacles and hindrances and more pain just to understand or get to the person they are meant to be with. It sucks. Thank you to ITSAY for teaching us all about this, for showing us this, for making us realise all this. 

In a way we all can end up like Teh's cut out revision guide, if we don't have enough self-love, confidence, or trust in our feelings, we can end up tearing parts of our selves, losing our selves, dreams and perceptions because of mistranslating who we are/what we want. Luckily this is all to do with age, it's okay to make mistakes and learn from it, this will now push Teh to understand and accept himself for whatever he is, and what he feels, this will open his eyes to seeing he has people by his side who won't let him fall (Hoon, and hopefully Oh) and this will make him stronger, confident and braver. And finally, hopefully, it will lead him once again to the person he loves, and they'd be able to run to the sunset together and scream that they made it. One can only hope. 

PREVIOUS ANALYSIS: PROMISES, SUNSETS AND MALE PROTAGONISTS

PREVIOUS ANALYSIS; XIN THE FOCUS OF THE HEART

[mediterraneantings-2022]

Week 8

Good evening everyone I am now on week 8 and I have finally finished midterms. We currently have 4 more weeks until spring break and I am very excited. I have a couple trips planned with friends and hopefully if everything goes as planned we can have a nice time. Last weekend there were no trips planned through global semesters so I went bowling with a few friends of mine which was nice. Surprisingly it was very packed with older adults versus teenagers and families. The bowling alley here surveyed food and alcohol, so it was nice that we did not have to go to a bar before or after the bowling alley. Seeing that the bowling alley had alcoholic drinks it reminded me of how convenient alcohol is here compared to America. Drinking alcohol has such a different culture around it here than it does in the United States. The drinking culture here is very light and friendly and it isn't seen as something that you do only on the weekends and it is not only done in a party setting.  

With being in Cyprus, I have picked up on a few things about the food culture. It seems here that a lot of the locals do not like spicy food. I have been to a Mexican restaurant near my building a couple of times and have tried different things on the menu, but I have not received any food that was spicy. At the end of the evening my friends and I asked the waiter why there was no food on the menu that was spicy. He informed us that when the restaurant first launched last season there were a lot of items on the menu that were spicy, but there were many customers that complained and wanted dishes to be adjusted so that their food would not be spicy. So it was decided to remove most of the spicy food off of the menu and recreate the dishes so that it would be favored by everyone. While I do understand why some people do not like spicy food, I do feel like the Mexican restaurant should've kept the original menu because real Mexican food is spicy and flavorful. After having this experience I did realize that I do miss some of the foods in America. It also made me realize how diverse America is compared to other countries. For example, since I have been here I have not found a Chinese or Japanese restaurant. I have found no Korean BBQ places or Indian food. Even though there are a lot of processed foods in America that are not healthy, I do in fact miss the taste of them and the amount of different options of food we have in the States, but mainly the different cultures that we have. It’s always nice to have access to another culture's food and being able to try it and love it and learn more about it.

[adoptee-cooks]

Chicken congee 鸡肉粥 (jī ròu zhōu)

This dish dive is slightly longer, because I had a lot more thoughts while righting this!

Dish dive

In 2017, my mom donated her kidney to a friend in need of one. While she recovered at home, my friend’s mom made her chicken congee. She explained congee is very gentle on the stomach and good to eat when you’re sick.

I’d heard about congee or jook before, but always as an easy breakfast or porridge-type dish that would be eaten during a famine because it would stretch the amount of rice.

Maybe my memory is biased by the surprise and appreciation we felt when my friend’s mom brought over the congee. But, I remember the dish being simple and rich all at the same time. It was so delicious, like a comforting bowl of chicken noodle soup combined with the gratifying thickness of porridge or oatmeal.

Three years later, eating seafood congee prepared by my boyfriend’s mom is what sparked this memory. After eating it for breakfast, I knew I had to try my hand at making this staple dish. I also knew I wanted to recreate the version I first had with chicken and ginger so I could relive that glorious first bite. 

Unfortunately, my favorite Chinese food blog, Woks of Life, only had a 20 minute recipe. It’s good for making congee in a quick pinch, but I wanted to make it the long way for my first time. 

So I googled chicken congee and came across another cool Chinese family blog that even included a step-by-step video called Made with Lau! I’m glad I have another blog (this one is Cantonese) to rely on for ~authentic~ Chinese recipes.

Cooking it up

The actual cooking was easy, even if it did take an hour or so of passive boiling. While I’m aware the entire purpose of congee is to be easy on the stomach, I recalled my first bite of congee and wanted to make sure this one would be equally flavorful. In case you weren’t aware, the secret is the ginger! It pairs so nicely with the dash of salt and meatiness of the chicken. 

The end result was the perfect texture... but I may have gone slightly overboard with the ginger.

Final thoughts

While cooking this, I couldn’t help but imagine my own birth mother cooking congee to feed infant me. I’m content with cooking basic Chinese dishes for now because it might be the closest thing to everyday meals I would’ve eaten in China. 

I’m also grateful for these family food blogs because by sharing their treasured family recipes, I get to learn one more dish I can practice and cook for my own children someday.

[lunavadash-creates]

Have I ever told you that you are the sweetest cupcake ever?❤️ It’s impossible to not smile at your posts! I sincerely thank you for all your sympathy towards me! My heart just melts! It’s so rare to find such a pure and kind soul like you. Please, don’t change. Ever.

You made me worried a bit with your last paragraph - maybe I am oversensitive, but I am really worried. It breaks my heart honestly, I feel like you belittle yourself. Babe, you are wonderful! I am not saying this just for you to feel better, but because you REALLY are. Think for a moment about things you’ve already achieved! Darling, you graduated! It’s really something. It is even more something when you study two different majors at the same time and study in language school at weekends. It’s real hardcore! I am proud of you. SO FREAKING MUCH! You did so well and you did so much! Please, be aware of it. You are incredibly talented and creative. YOU are hard working, not me. And you know what? Please, have a proper rest. Don’t overwork yourself anymore. You have to have some space just for you. You have to rest and regain your balance. Don’t think about writing as your duty. I know you feel responsible for all requests you have. But they really won’t run away or disappear. They all will be waiting to be written when you rest. Don’t pressure yourself, I beg you. You know I love your writing. We all here love it. But we love you even more. Taking a break it’s not bad. It’s necessary. When you rest you will be able to concentrate, you will have a fresh mind and new ideas. Just remember that you are a priority.

Speaking of your visit to Prague. OMG, THIS ASTRONOMICAL CLOCK!! I envy you soooooo much! I wish I could see it by myself someday! Thank you so much for the photo! And geez, you are the very first person admitting that museums are wonderful! No one amongst my friends likes them and it hurts so much, because I couldn’t go to the Uffizi museum and Palazzo Vecchio in Florence. I would love to go to any museum with you then! Museum of sex toys sounds really interesting, mostly because it’s not about modern toys. Like, I would never thought that people could have such rich sex life! I heard that in Amsterdam and Paris there are similar museums. But! I bet you would love icelandic museum of punk. Ohh, I am pretty sure you would enjoy it! It’s really small, because well..Its former public toilet. Buuuut, if you like non-obvious museums this is definitely for you. Whale museum was also pretty good. Or I enjoyed it just because I love whales. I was also in a museum of teddy bears in Seoul and it was the cutest museum I have ever been in! Tell me more about that vegan restaurant! What good did you eat? I am not vege myself, but I avoid eating meat on a daily basis so it’s easy to make me excited with such things!

I am not sure if I am better. I mean, I changed my mind about being able to sleep all day. I am not able to sleep at all at the moment. I am tired and my eyelids are so heavy, but sleep never comes. I guess insomnia hits again, it's a never-ending circle. But I am concerned about your leg! I guess you had spoken with doctor since you got xray and usg. Did they say anything? Any ideas of what it could possibly be? It has to be something serious if you have problems with walking! How did you manage to go sightseeing in Prague? Babe, please, take care of yourself! And what does “health problem AGAIN” mean?! Have you had such a problem before?? It scares me like.. we just started adulthood? My friend sneezed and it made him lay in bed for 6 days not being able to move. Literally.

Yeah, I was in South Korea, but please, do not perceive me as your role model. Gods, it would be a terrible decision, really. But, I would love to share some stories with you if you want! I know it's a popular destination these days because of kpop. I used to listen to it, but I think a few years ago kpop was better? More interesting? Now I’m more into khh, but I think I can’t say that I’m into it anymore.

Talking about music! I discovered two new songs and I bet you know them already, but for me it was huge woah woah woah! First of it - Sabaton. Thay covered Metallica’s For Whom The Bell Tolls and they did it so good! Secondly - The Heart Asks Pleasure First. They basically made their own song based on one of my favourite piano songs. Oh my.. it’s sooo good!

And still talking about music! I just wanted to say that I also love our Wombo edits! That one with Ezio singing Stressed out was perfect! Mr Auditore looked very believably singing it. I liked the one with Edward and Haytham. I don’t know the song but it had such a christmas vibe! It made me think of Edward and Shay singing Last Christmas or some other shitty Christmas song together. Why them? No idea. I love Altair, but your latest headcanons could make me love them even more.

And! I just wanted to tell you that you inspired me to take japanese lessons on Duolingo. I am aware that such app won’t help me with learning such a language, but at least I can tell you that katakana sucks. Gods, I hate it so much. Hiragana is so pleasurable to learn. And I know katakana is visually similar, but it is a no no from me. I have learnt some basic kanji signs. And I just admire you so much more.

I hope you will have wonderful and peaceful week, Babe! Once again, please take care of yourself. Remember to have proper rest, sleep at least 8 hours and drink water! I hope your leg will be better soon!

🔪

Hey Knifey! I finally have the right mind set to respond to this ask!

So first of all thank you. You always make me blush with your kind words and I have no idea how to react! I want to squeaze you in a hug and give you all the sweets in the world!

As for the rest. You see i have always worked to hard on studying, so hard it actually burned out everything inside so now all i want to do i nothing! But i cant, i really want to go back to spending my free time in more creative way!

Omg Knifey! Finally i met a museum lover! And gods i want to visit them all! And you know? That Icelandinc museum sounds like such a goal, i want to go there 🥺 and Seoul museum of teddy bears?! I want to go there!

Honestly I love all museums and generally history. I enjoy visiting ruins of castles and villages, going to museums of everything! Art, machines, objects! There are always so many things and so many different ways to find the inspiration! And I always take so many photos for 'future references'. Some time ago i was in a gardens which showed different time of gardens of the world and there was this amazing exhibition of demons from Slavic mithology. That was so awesome! As well as Japanese garden!

In began restaurant i have this fried soy bites in some sweet-spicy sauce. So tasty! Im trying to recreate this recipe but so far its 1:0 for the soy :/

As for my leg. Its swollen AF bht i just... Put on my shoe and pretended it didnt exist. I can walk in good shoes but still im worried. As for that little again... I generally have some weird health issues. I had 5 surgeries for different stuff (spine, tumor, nose) so like... Generally i am healthy... Or at least i was until thst damned foot decided to show off. Its been 4 weeks and im still looking for a solution, running different tests and all. Hopefully they will figure out whag is going on.

Yes TELL ME ALL THE STORIES ABOUT KOREA.! I love stories, tell me everything!

Tbh i never listen ed to k-pop. I guess its just nkt my type of music but I enjoy some Japanese and Chinese songs (one i like is Arrogant by Xiao Zhang). I know songs you sent me and gods they are amazing! I love sabaton, rock/metal im general but I listen to all kind of music. Like Italian soundtrack from Winx, music from burlesque, Dragonforce, shanties. If there are k-pop songs you like you can always send then to me! Ill gladly listen to them all!

Im glad you like those wombos i guess i should make more! 😂😂

And gods. Katakana. 4 years of learning Japanese and I still need katakana board to remember those signs! And tbh i feel like Japanese duolingo has some mistakes ;/ but for Japanese i used lingodeer app and it was nice!

Knifey Im very sorry you have troubles sleeping. Is there something you can do to make it easier for you? Maybe you can take some melatonin pills? Maybe you are stressed? Can you maybe contact doctor, maybe they can help? I dont want anything bad to happen to you! Please take care of yourself? Pretty please?

Love you so much Knifey, you are such a sunshine and I just want you to be happy and healthy!

[aion-rsa]

How TCM Resurrects Plan 9 from Outer Space for Ghoulish Table Read

https://ift.tt/3rnt3hu

UFOs are often visible, but not always. Sometimes they make noise, sometimes they are silent. If you’ve never seen a flying saucer, that is proof they are everywhere. This is one of the many amazing things we learn in TCM’s upcoming table read of Ed Wood’s masterwork, Plan 9 from Outer Space.

We once laughed at the horseless carriage, the aero-plane, the telephone, the electric light, vitamins, radio, and even television. But it took a while to get the joke about Plan 9 from Outer Space. Written and directed by Edward D. Wood Jr. in 1959, it was a little-known independent film with a direct line through directors who carried on the DIY-filmmaking spirit like John Cassavetes, Melvin Van Peebles and John Waters. The Cult of Plan 9 began when Ed Wood was posthumously awarded a Golden Turkey Award for Worst Director of All Time in 1980. Though this has been disputed.

Turner Classic Movies is the go-to channel for prestigious films. You can always count on a showing of The Treasure of Sierra Madre or The Public Enemy, or Citizen Kane. But top prize in the Golden Turkey awards carries its own prestige.

“This isn’t ‘Plans One Through Eight from Outer Space,’” Jerry Seinfeld proclaimed at the Chinese restaurant in a 1991 episode of Seinfeld. “This is Plan 9. The one that worked. The worst movie ever made.”

The SF Sketchfest presentation was adapted for the stage and virtual stage by former The Simpsons writer, and self-proclaimed Ed Wood superfan, Dana Gould. He and his Stan Against Evil co-star Janet Varney have been acting in live staged reads with a revolving cast of eager comic actors for over three years. The Zoom production also features Kat Aagesen, Bob Odenkirk, Bobcat Goldthwait, Oscar Nuñez, Deborah Baker Jr., Maria Bamford, David Koechner, Jonah Ray, Paul F. Tompkins, Baron Vaughn, and Gary Anthony Williams. The miniature visual effects, which are by no means just cardboard cutouts, were done by Mike Carano, and the sounds of musical accompaniment came out of Eban Schletter.

Laraine Newman is the narrator. She brings Gould’s adapted stage directions to such vivid life they can reanimate the dead, which is a key element of the actual plan at the center of the cult movie. Originally titled “Grave Robbers from Outer Space,” the film marked the last appearance of Bela Lugosi, who had also acted in Wood’s 1953 feature Glen or Glenda.

Lugosi’s footage for Wood’s unmade film “The Vampire’s Tomb,” was repurposed for Plan 9. Lugosi died of a heart attack on Aug. 16, 1956. To complete the film, Wood cast his chiropractor, Tom Mason, who in spite of his professional familiarity with the human skeletal structure, somehow believed he could mask the fact that he was much taller than the horror icon by pulling his cape over his face.

The table read of Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space is part of TCM’s Classic Film Festival weekend, which runs through May 9. For easy comparisons, the original film will air directly after the event. Dana Gold and Janet Varney spoke with Den of Geek about refurbishing the low-budget cult classic, and how, like their predecessor, they proudly spared every expense on its new décor.

Den of Geek: I watched the table read a second time while playing Plan 9 in another window, and I just have to say, recreating those sets must’ve cost a fortune.

Janet Varney: Yeah, just like it cost Ed Wood a fortune.

Dana Gould: That’s the genius of, of Mike Carano. All those things were this big. You can see, I have the Bela Lugosi statue and the saucer. What he did was so amazing, and it really brought [the production] up to be better than it had a right to be. When Janet and I discussed doing this on Zoom, we were like, “Well, how do we take the limits of Zoom and turn them to our advantage? Why is it on Zoom?” By doing it, one, it allowed us to get a cast that we might not be able to get. Got people in different places. Maria Bamford was in Minnesota. Bob Odenkirk was in Vancouver. So, we could get people that normally we couldn’t get. Doing it in black and white helped. And then what Mike Marano did, it made it something unique.

Janet Varney: I would just also add, as a tribute to Ed Wood, we’ve never had anyone that we’ve asked to do the show who hasn’t wanted to do the show. Whether or not they’ve been in town for the live version, every person that we love that we’ve asked to be a part of the cast at one time or another is like, “Oh, my God, I need to do that. I want to do it. When is it? Please say it’s not a date I’m out of town. Please say it’s not. Will you ask me on the next one?”

Everyone knows this movie. And the idea of getting to step into its shoes in any kind of iteration is really exciting for every single person that we’ve ever asked.

Dana Gould: And it’s great to see how different people play different parts. Joel Murray plays the General different than David Koechner plays the General. Bob Odenkirk plays Eros differently than Patton Oswalt plays Eros. It’s always great. And Janet and I, we don’t want to know what you’re going to do. Just do it.

For this production, you assembled the all-star team. But were you ever tempted to use the same kind of players Wood used: wrestlers, tap dancing accordion players, chiropractors, and radio psychics?

Janet Varney: That’s a great question. I feel like we also have pretty good access to all those folks. So maybe that will get the next variety version. Because our friend, Jim Turner, is just about to do a fundraiser for the kind of variety acts who have been struggling in this last year, because of the many myriad things that they do.

So, I actually love that idea, Tony. And you’re right, it would be a totally different experience. That’s an interesting idea too, because we do come at it with a bunch of people who love the movie, but there’s also some major winking going on, as all the comedians and actors try to lean into being: “It’s my first time on stage, maybe my first time saying words,” really playing that up.

In the future, do you hope to see this performance eviscerated on Mystery Science Fiction Theater 3000?

Dana Gould: That would be great. If they did this.

Janet Varney: Especially because Bill and Kevin have done it. They have been in our production of Plan 9. Bill had been what Laraine [Newman] did. Bill did the narration at a show, at SketchFest, and it was great.

Dana Gould: I would like to see Jonah making fun of himself.

Janet Varney: Yeah. Let’s get meta. Our fans can handle it. Fans of MST3K can handle it. Plant 9 fans can handle it. Everybody could handle it.

I know I’m paraphrasing Seinfeld, but as the person who’s trusted with Plan 9 and all that comes with that, did you get to see the first eight plans from outer space?

Janet Varney: And are you allowed to talk about it if you did?

Dana Gould: Exactly. What were they?

Janet Varney: So many questions.

Dana Gould: So many questions.

Were the first eight plans rejected?

Janet Varney: Or were they all executed? And I use that word purposefully. Were all of those plans executed and they didn’t have great results?

Dana Gould: That’s a drunk man at a typewriter, “Plan 9 sounds good.” I remember showing Plan 9 to somebody who’d never seen it before. And they turned to me afterwards and said, “Did he not have any friends he could have shown this to and gotten notes?” He didn’t have those kinds of friends.

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What are some of your favorite mistakes from the movie?

Janet Varney: Oh, God. I was going to say Dana had mentioned that the first time he saw the movie was on a video cassette that Tom Kenny and Dan Spencer, and Bobcat Goldthwait showed him. And I was actually going to ask, did you think it was the tape glitching at the end when the monologue goes from, blip to [makes a noise]? And you’re like, “Wait a minute. Back that up, hold on. Is somebody going to fix this?”

That’s definitely one. That’s a spectacularly new, weird problem in a movie that was not a consistent problem. So, you’re like, “Wait, how did that happen one time, in this very, very overt way?” So good.

Dana Gould: From the very beginning, it’s like the first time you saw William Shatner do “Rocket Man.” I remember, I had a party at my house, and I was working on The Ben Stiller Show, and everybody was there. And back then, there was no YouTube. You would just have these cassette tapes with all of the weird stuff that you had collected on it, like the farting priest and all these weird things that you had, and “Rocket Man.” And I remember showing “Rocket Man” at this thing and Bob Odenkirk just shouting at my television, “You’re a grown man. You’re a grown man.”

I always thought Shatner gave the same line reading for “Mr. Tambourine Man” as he did for “Kahn.”

Dana Gould: Yes, he did. He did. He had a couple of tricks, and he used them. Yeah. There’s one direction he doesn’t get a lot, “You want to just try one big? You want to just see how it goes?” “Take the chains off and let it rip?”

Was some of the background music in this reading, especially the oxidation bit, inspired by The Simpsons?

Dana Gould: That’s all Eban [Schletter, the musical accompanist], you have to ask Eban. But again, that’s great, especially the Solaronite song. Necessity being the mother of invention, that is a brutal chunk of dialogue for anybody, a thankless, brutal chunk. And every time I give it to Paul, I say, “I’m apologizing ahead of time. I give it to you because I don’t want anybody else to do it. Because if it was anybody else, it would be death.”

Eban came up with that. And we were just like, “Maybe we can break this up. Maybe there’s a way to break this up.” And then Eban came up with that kind of thing. And it is one of those things that I love, that it’s like a mutant. It’s grown into its own weird thing to solve its inherent problems. You can’t describe it to anybody. It’s just like, you have to see it.

I used to remember describing Kevin Meaney, the comedian. I used to just tell people, “I can’t describe what he does. You just have to see him, but then you’ll know. You only need a minute, and you’ll get it. But I can’t describe it to you.” That’s really a good analogy.

Laraine Newman, I believe, steals this as the narrator. How much of that is improvised and how much of that is written by you? Because I know that you wrote the stage directions.

Dana Gould: It’s written, but Laraine, I call it “newscaster flat.” Laraine knows how the notes need to be played. It’s like the Wrecking Crew, you have a guitar behind you. I don’t know what Tommy Tedesco is going to play, but I know it’s going to be good. I don’t know what Carol Kaye is going to play, but I trust it. It’s the same thing. It’s a murderers’ row, and I wouldn’t have the gall to tell them what to do.

Janet Varney: It takes a very specific kind of confidence as a performer to be that deadpan. It’s such a specific skill. And it’s a skill, I think, born out of a type of bravado and expertise that’s all just tightly contained in this tiny space, where she’s not trying to sell any of it. And that is the genius behind what she does is just letting it lay out there like that. I mean, it’s hard.

When you have something that you know is funny and you would be laughing yourself, if you were listening to someone else read it, it’s so hard not to want to sell it. Like, can I make this even funnier? And she’s like, “No, I need to take it all the way back, to the back of the house just like, who me, who me? I’m just reading these things.” And it’s just so brilliant.

Dana Gould: This is a person that did sketches on live television with John Belushi and Bill Murray. So she definitely knows where her center of gravity is.

Janet Varney: That’s right. Well said.

Dana Gould: And yeah, again, unflinching. And that takes, as a performer, just like a little inside baseball, a lot of control and to really, to have control of your own ego, to know that I’m going to get what I want by stepping way back. I mean, Sterling Hayden is the only person I’ve ever seen blow Peter Sellers off the screen. And he does it just by, he’s like a statue, but there’s so much weight to it.

In the original movie, I love the “Criswell Predicts.” So I wanted to ask, Janet, do you get asked to do bathroom readings?

Janet Varney: I would if asked, I would love to. That’s one of the things that’s great about Ed Wood in general too, is just having this a sort of fascination with the occult and that kind of thing. And the way that it fits into camp is so appealing. And so, yeah, I would very happily jump back into some bad psychic practices if I could. Hopefully, I will someday.

Dana Gould: And an unerring dedication to Wicker furnishings.

Janet Varney: That’s right. Always that. Paula and her wicker.

Because the table read is done during COVID and everyone feels an immediacy to Zoom calls, were you ever at all concerned about an Orson Welles’ scenario, where the residents of San Fernando Valley will believe they’re under attack by flying saucers from outer space?

Janet Varney: If only.

Dana Gould: Yeah. That’s the least of our problems out here. I don’t know when you visited last time, but the walking dead, they’re around.

The table read of Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space airs on Friday, May 7 at 8pm on TCM. Plan 9 from Outer Space airs at 9:30pm.

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The post How TCM Resurrects Plan 9 from Outer Space for Ghoulish Table Read appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2Rxjm4a

[colorfulmetaphors]

gonna make a post about lrb because i have more to say but it think it’s improper now to write in the tags. i don’t know the etiquette anymore, so here:

please forgive me for my probably incorrect terminology. i’m not writing this with any authority on the subject, other than my own personal experience, about which this is mostly focused. i’m not trying to make some great claims in regards to representation. i’m trying to talk about how i feel.

when i saw that the protagonist was half-chinese i was so excited. i know there’s the issue of casting people who are half-poc for the roles of poc, but i rarely see a role that’s actually half-poc. being such has given me a host of identity issues that i don’t really see reflected in media that features poc. i never know: do i have privilege i’m unaware of? can i really claim to relate to x issue because i don’t experience the full gamut of its effects? can i write about my issues without taking away from other poc who face larger ones, and should be proportionately amplified? it’s a mess of good intentions and extracurricular research that i feel obligated to do for the purpose of existing in my own skin.

so when i saw a character that might reflect my experience i was so. damn. excited.

but i didn’t see any hint of this internal struggle. sure, alina faces racism and microaggressions, many of which i’ve also experienced, line for line. but that was it. she was defined as “half” by other characters, and found her triumph in rejecting both. her heres what i am line was about magic, about power, not about identity. it felt so hollow. i get the whole, finding my own identity thing. it’s been shoved down my throat for decades, but it’s not satisfying in this story because it’s not something i can do, in this way.

i was raised white. culture, church, friends and family. my dads (the chinese) side of our family was distant, due to some interpersonal issues. i knew as much about chinese culture as any other kid. had no connection to it. but OTHER people, connected me to it, constantly. fucking constantly, complimenting my eyes and skin tone, asking me about the zodiac and whatever fucking else. in a college class i was forced to write an essay about being chinese and i made the whole thing up. i asked my prof if i could write about being biracial, because it was my actual experience, but he said no. i was chinese. i had to write about that. and we didn’t have another asian person in the class.

i hated it, because i had no answers for them, because they insisted on forging this link where none existed. and i learned to hate being chinese, and all things associated with it. hated the imagery, the music, the traditions. i hated half of myself, hated looking in the mirror and seeing a flat nose, round cheeks, pupil-less eyes.

it’s taken a lot of effort, pouring on of love when i didn’t really feel it, to rectify this. and i still dont know where i fit, but i know how i can find value in myself. im learning about chinese culture as a part of heritage, not experience, and finding value in its rich history, and in how im a complex part of it. im trying to recreate relationships with family. im trying to see myself as a whole, not two parts.

and theres no magic involved. my biracial experience is purposefully placing value on each part of myself, and alina does jack shit in this regard. she’s who she is because of her power, IN SPITE of what everyone says about her. it’s very, aha i’m not like those other girls. it’s throwing her shu half away because it’s insignificant compared to her magic. shes not defined by her race. wow. great for her. its empty. its patronizing. it’s all the negatives of being biracial, without any of the positives, as the author writes about. my heres what i am is explicitly, exclusively about race. about reconciling myself with myself. alina’s is... not. she might as well be white, to save inflicting more racist rhetoric on people who really dont need to see it right now. or chinese, if the show still wants to capitalize on its noble stand against racism.

[irithyll123]

class 1a headcanons part 3

EDIT: the format on mobile actually hurts my eyes. I advice you to read this on the website version so it's less chaotic.

I have more ideas regarding these characters cause it’s just so fun to imagine all the hijinks and shenanigans that teenagers with superpowers can get up to! Also because we need more appreciation for certain members of the class, we can do better y’all. Anyway, here we go:

Satou’s great at baking. The whole class knows that. What they don’t know, is that he stress bakes at ungodly hours.

And considering the abysmal luck the class has when it comes to villains, there's stress a plenty. 

Aizawa runs into Satou quite often after the underground hero's patrols. It happens so frequently that Aizawa had given up on lecturing about curfew.

Sometimes Aizawa helps out with the baking.

“Shouta, you’re getting soft.”

“Shut up, Mic.”

Kaminari is incredibly talented when it comes to languages.

other than Japanese, he’s fluent in English, Chinese, Korean, Spanish and even a little bit of French and Latin

Unfortunately, that talent is not enough to bump up his last-place-in-class position. His ADHD certainly didn’t help.   

before getting to know him better Aizawa used to be very stern when it comes to discussing Denki’s grades, which made Denki very upset at times.

(I come from an Asian background and diagnosing learning disorders such as dyslexia and ADHD is still a very much work-in-progress in these parts of the world, I imagine it would apply here too)

Nowadays, Aizawa is much gentler. 

“It’s illogical for an education system to expect a student to be great at everything, even for heroes.” 

“Just admit you’re getting soft, Shouta.”

“Nemuri, I will throw you off a building.”

Other than the Dekusquad and Momo, Todoroki is closest to Sero.

Pretty sure its canon at this point 

Sero isn’t caught up with the latest tea of Keeping Up With The Todorokis but he’s perceptive enough to have some theories on the subject.

He keeps it to himself though. He figured if Shouto wants to, he’ll eventually come to him and the rest of the class.

However that would not stop him from squashing away any admiration he had for the current no.1 hero.

On a happier note, Sero and Shouto talks nerdy to each other all the time. Their DMs are filled with fan-theories and headcanons of their latest manga or show they are following.

Koda runs a rather popular blog that is mostly aesthetics and pictures of baby animals and of course, his pet bunny.

Both Hagakure and Ojiro are aware of Koda’s blog. They recognised the bunny.

Koda is very talkative in his blog. Hagakure, in true Invisible-girl fashion, once sent an anonymous ask, 

‘hi, mysterious blog person! Just wondering, are you this talkative irl? I imagine your friends love you a lot’ 

‘Hello, anon! No, I’m afraid I’m much shyer in real life. I try to be more talkative here cause its easier looking at a screen and its good practice for me. My friends love me all the same tho! They won’t force me to talk or anything and some even learnt a bit of sign for me. I’m very grateful for them!’

“Mashirao, I can’t he’s so pure and precious...”

“We don’t deserve him, Tooru.”

One of Shouji’s favourite thing to do to Tokoyami is to wrap him up with his many arms.

(Remember that time where Shouji’s carrying Deku through the forest? It’s a lot like that.)

But Instead of being bloody and scruffy think more fluff. And instead of a self-sacrificing idiot think Smol Birb.

“Do I weigh anything to you, Mezo.”

“No.”

“I hate you.”

“I can stop.”

“......I didn’t say that.” 

After watching Thor Ragnarok on movie night, Ashido somehow managed to convince Momo to recreate Hela’s Iconic Scene where she wiped out an army. Using training dummies obviously. 

Momo got really into it and it’s honestly very impressive if not a bit disturbing.

Mina is mostly excited, Jirou is very gay, Aizawa wants to be on the receiving end of those knifes.

[lorirwritesfanfic]

Get to know my MC tag

Thanks for the tag @itsalliepg​ and @missameliep​ ❤ I wasn't sure if I was going to do this because I already have character profile posts for my MCs, but I'm working on the character development of one of my favorite MCs, so let's do it.

Name: Daphne Wang

How tall are they?

5'4"/1,62m

How do they tend to dress?

Daphne's clothes tend to reflect her mood. Usually, her style is casual and when she wears colorful palettes, she's in a good mood. When she chooses her most minimalist garments, she's either tired or sad. During social events, however, her clothes are never boring. Every single piece she wears is artsy and it has to make a statement.

Do they like how they look?

She wishes she wasn't so lazy and went to the gym more so maybe she could have more curves, but she likes what she sees when she looks in the mirror.

Are they an only child or do they have any siblings?

She was raised as an only child, but after meeting her father in her early teens, she found out she has a stepbrother and a younger brother on her father’s side and lived with them for a couple of years before she went to college.

Are they a morning person or night owl?

Morning person because she loves painting and drawing in the morning and uses natural light in her favor.

Are they a cat person or a dog person?

She loves both, but never got the chance to have any pets while growing up. After she moved to the UK, she got a pug from a friend and would certainly adopt a cat if she could.

Got any favorite foods?

Chinese food, especially Chicken Fried Rice, Wonton Soup and literally anything with noodles.

How about favourite drinks?

Grape juice, chai latte, strawberry daiquiris and mimosas.

What are their favourite movies/tv shows?

Movies: Room because she was obsessed with the book; Romeo + Juliet, which was her mother's favorite movie and made Leonardo DiCaprio her first celebrity crush and Memoirs of a Geisha (she loves every single detail about it).

Series: Friends and Parks and Recreation are comfort series, Queer Eye (original version and Netflix's) and Project Runway are favorite reality shows and Gunesin Kizlari because she loves the never-ending drama of Turkish series.

Do they have any hidden talents?

Besides drawing and painting, she's also a pretty good singer and knows her way around a sewing machine.

Do they believe in love at first sight?

No, she's pretty skeptical when it comes to love. To her, love is a consequence of sharing moments and experiences with the person she's with. Hamid respects her opinion and obviously uses it an excuse to spend more time with her 😉

Who is their love interest?

Sinclaire can’t handle her Hamid

What are they afraid of?

She's afraid of being alone, because of all her history with abandonment ever since she learned the story about her parents.

What are their guilty pleasures?

Watching trashy movies while eating junk food.

What was their dream job as a kid? Is it still their dream?

She always wanted to be an artist, painting and drawing for a living, but since she became a noblewoman and with all her duties to the Crown, becoming a History of Art student was the next best thing.

Have they ever broken a bone?

Yes, she broke her left wrist after falling off a tree when she was ten.

Have they ever been in trouble with the law?

She was arrested for common assault after punching a guy's face during a protest for equal pay in London because he tried to grope her. She spent twenty-four hours in jail and her sentence could've been simply paying a fine to the government but the guy also asked for a public apology in court. She said she'd rather go to jail than apologizing to a misogynist asshole and would punch him again if given the chance. Her sentence got extended to fifty days of community service.

Three other random facts about them:

Painting is her coping mechanism. She has several paintings of her parents and her mother. She also painted Ernest a few times after when they broke up, but she sold everything for the cheapest price she got before going to college. When she's happy, she prefers drawing and photography.

Despite her family’s best efforts to hide the scandals involving her name fro the tabloids, two of the letters of acceptance in college she received mentioned their hopes were “a higher education will improve her progressive ideas and activism in her future endeavors”. 

Her pug is named after Dr. Drake Ramoray. The name was Harry's idea and she loved it.

Tagging: @bobasheebaby @darley1101 @thehonorarybeaumont @thequeenchoices

[watchtheblog]

no new friends

when i lived in new york, i was dating someone for 3 months and i literally didn’t know if i could refer to him as someone i knew. we’d be returning a vehicle we rented for a weekend trip and i’d still be like “him? oh. we’ve hung out two dozen times but i don’t really know him know him.”

in la, you wait on line at a grocery store with someone for two to seven minutes and they’re name checking you in therapy three hours later.

i have never had to question the descriptor “my friend” more times than i have since i moved here. 

i know now that “friend” is a spectrum that includes “person you’d invite to your wedding” and “person you exchanged “wow that party sucked” banter with in an elevator once because you happened to leave a party at the same time.”

a really corny thing people with no personalities like to promulgate - and always as if they’re the first person to have ever thought of it - is the idea that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat servers at a restaurant. 

while i do think that is true - because like, ok sure - on the flip, i treat servers like deities, but i also once described a 12 year old as a “no job having ass bitch”, so…

(^ a photo of me immediately post yelling at a stranger)

yes. that is important. but, in my opinion, seeing how a person speaks about and interacts with someone they’ve met (who is of any tenable social standing) 1-5 times in the city of los angeles is a far better indicator of whether this person is objectively “good”, or if they are someone who pronounces ibiza in the way you know i’m talking about (you know. like they’re a character in don quixote. you fucking know the way), who will likely try to entangle you in a ponzi scheme in the near future.

these are your friends in NY:

the person you’ve known since you were born, who bailed you out of jail that time you got popped for jumping over a turnstile (this is called “fare evasion”, fyi) in high school

that exact person. no one else.

in new york, a guy who was v close friends with my ex boyfriend pinned me against the door of my ex boyfriend’s dressing room and tried to fuck me... two weeks after we’d broken up… while my ex boyfriend was in the en suite bathroom.

that’s what friendship is in new york! it means nothing! 

these are your “friends” in LA:

every dog

the ex of the person you’re currently dating

the kids and other patients of any of your doctors

someone you let go in front of you on line at any establishment that serves matcha or anything CBD infused

someone you have the same in n out order as

anyone you’ve ever seen before 9am in a context other than working out

someone you DMed 10 times, who responded once with the heart that’s already there for you to click

a person you’ve fucked once or dozens or times over the course of 6 months, whom you refuse to call your significant other because you’re scum

and lastly,

a person who wanted to be your friend, whose trust you broke by trying to fuck them in a v creepy and unwelcome way

let me elaborate on the last:

last year, i was actively soliciting friendship on r*ya (a dating app) by setting up a profile and indicating i was “only here for friends”*.

*(this is a setting for 1. men who want to discreetly cheat on their girlfriends and 2. girls who want to trick men into being friends with them by pretending there’s a possibility they might fuck because they matched on a dating site.)

i matched with a “famous” “musician” (i put both words in quotations because i don’t quite consider a sleepy, middle aged white man whose music’s main accreditation is being the melody playing over a man slipping from coma to death on grey’s anatomy “famous”, but ok…) and we talked for a few weeks (mainly about how i had no friends and was desirous of a handful of them).

eventually we met up. he took me to a restaurant, i ate some food, i had one drink, we had a v boring conversation, and 50 minutes later i went home and remembered that i don’t need friends.

we didn’t talk again until three weeks later on a monday afternoon. he invited me over to his place to watch the new “curb” and eat chinese food. i said yes because i wanted free chinese food (and because i still have not learned that accepting an invitation to a man’s house apparently indicates that you’d like to suck his dick).

i arrived in sweatpants at 4pm. we ate chinese food, played backgammon, and he mansplained the “me too” movement to me for approximately 20 minutes. that is not a joke.

he also told me that louis ck would be the next man to be outed (weird flex but ok), and shared a story about him “lining girls up and masturbating on their shins”! also not a joke.

impossibly boring story short… at some point i thought, “i do not even want to be friends with this white devil. it’s time for me to leave”. so i got up, ordered an uber, and walked to the front door.

as i was putting my jacket on, he walked over to me in a way that i cannot even compare to anything to emphasize how crazy it was because it was so specifically over the top in it’s own way. this man sauntered over to me with both his arms outstretched, grabbed either side of my face and tilted his head to kiss me.

after touting his beliefs on the importance of women not being seen as sexual beings for three hours while i sat in his sterile home in sweatpants, eating lo mein, this soft, balding man tried to #metoo lite me.

that’s what friendship means to a man in los angeles. 

there’s no doubt in my mind this corny bozo refers to me as a “friend”... but my only friends are on the internet + the guy who pumps my gas on coldwater.

that being said. if you made it all the way here (wow. you must want to fuck me. hello!!) we are now friends and you are therefore obligated to buy me a christmas gift from the below list of carefully curated, v expensive christmas gifts i’ve assembled:

1. what i really want is a vintage sean john velour sweatsuit that i can have altered and wear every single day of my life until i die from texting and driving, but i don’t know if that’s reasonable… so maybe this tracksuit which is for children but i am sure will fit me. or this set. or this one, which matches my sneakers:

2. i want to go to a lakers game, please. front row. i don’t want this unless it’s front row. please respect this.

3. a trip here  (+ 1 for my sister)

4. this hand soap, because i love to keep my hands clean, and i also love people to know i’m rich when they use my bathroom, which they’ll know when they exit my bathroom, and i charge them for the squirts of hand soap they’ve just used

5. a personalized tray. i do all my business, sleeping, and eating in bed, so this would be helpful, so i can organize all my things.  or a clutch. same people

6. these sneakers. or these. or these. or these. size 7

7. one of these two books. or another book. i love to read, and i can afford to buy them, i just thought it nice to include here... so you remember i’m a thoughtful and educated thot.

8. this dress. or this one. or this dress which i don’t think will look good on me

9. this candle

10. this fanny pack, but only because i want to recreate that man’s exact look, so probably not the best idea to purchase this. 

11. these shoes. or these. 7.5

12. this chair. or these

13. a series of 1 on 1 training sessions at lagree. if you’ve ever watched me simulate sex work out, you will come through with this gift before christmas  

14. this bag which is overflow from my birthday gift list. or this one

thank you so much. here is another picture of me and one of my closest friends in la - a dog i spent 90 harrowing minutes with. i hate dogs.

[freddiestardust]

I Never Thought I’d Need So Many People

I hope nobody minds but I want to try to start documenting some of my more exciting adventures more often so that I don’t ever forget them. You may think you’ll never forget something but details always slip that you wish you could remember, I’m learning that more. So my first entry if you will, will be about my experience at Philly Loves Bowie Week this year because it’s still fresh in my mind rn and I am old and don’t want to forget!

So the first day of Bowie week for me, January 7th, held one of my favorite events to go to every year which is “Bowie Karaoke” or “Bowieoke”. Its held at a concert venue so all singers, perform on an actual stage which at first seems daunting but I adore every moment of it because I get to feel like the rock star I was always supposed to be. That night I sang “Young Americans”, “Quicksand” “Diamond Dogs” and most of all, “Rock N Roll Suicide”. I was the last singer of the night when I did “Rock N Roll Suicide”. When they announced I would be the last one up there, I knew I had to make it good and try my best, to do Bowie justice which is no easy feat but I was determined. It was also very odd that they announced I would be singing “Rock N Roll Suicide” because I had entered to sing multiple other songs before that, and they are supposed to do your choices in order. I believe in signs and messages from the universe, and I took it as some sort of sign. I was meant to sing that song, not the others. While I was performing it, I was over come with a wave of confidence I never knew I could have, which allowed me to give a more emotional and intense performance. When I was done, the host of the event said “I think that’s a perfect note to end the night on, thank you Stella!”. (For those who don’t know, Bowie ended the last stop of his Ziggy Stardust tour with this song, as a way to comfort his fans. He announced that it would not only be the last show of the tour, but the last show he would ever do, which naturally, many fans took as HE was never playing again, but he was referring to the Ziggy alter ego-still people lost their shit). As I got off the stage, the other attendees surrounding the stage started running up to me and hugging me with tears in their eyes, my mom who had come to watch, embraced me and cried and said that my performance was “moving”. I have sang in public on a number of occasions, but never received that type of response or praise. Maybe I was really meant to sing “Rock N Roll Suicide”. 

Day 2 of course was Bowie’s birthday. Surprisingly there weren’t many events going on that day. I dressed up in my Blackstar cape, a golden circle painted on my forehead, my eyes decorated in iridescent moon dust eye shadow and vibrant red shadow and donned my Aladdin Sane shoes (this is starting to sound like a fan fic my bad bro). The Franklin Institute was having a Bowie themed night of star gazing, featuring a signature cocktail called “The Gin Genie”. The institute had a room where they had recreated Bowie’s constellation with Chinese lanterns. You could gaze at it while they played his records, it was beautiful. There was supposed to be more going on at the observatory but it was far too cloudy :(. The best part of that night, came when I ended a birthday party for him being thrown at “Doobies”. Doobies is a bar owned by massive Bowie fan and Sigma kid Patti Brett, who also happens to be a dear friend of mine. She saw him live over 150 times, was one of the lucky fans invited in to listen to “Young Americans” with him on the last day he was recording the album, and has met him a number of times. At this party, she was screening his concerts on the tv all night long, and serving Bowie themed cocktails. My favorite was the “Starman”. The drink was sprinkled with little, edible stars. 

I can not describe to you how lovely it is to spend his birthday surrounded by people who love him as much as I do. It is such a sense of community, of friendship with these dozens of strangers. Two women there brought two different types of cologne he used to wear and everyone was spraying it on one another so that we could all smell like him. We laughed, cried, and shared our favorite stories about them. The people attending who had met him, shared their personal encounters with him and I wept. 

I made several new and very dear friends that night. One woman in particular I bonded fantastically with after discovering while we were outside smoking, that she also had several bizarre coincidence type experiences and signs surrounding Bowie’s death. We exchanged stories for what felt like several, glorious hours. 

- I gotta come back to this. Will type up part deux later. My fingers are tired. 

[i-am-total-sketch]

Two Night Stand

I Made a Wattpad

Chapter 1:The ex who fucked it up

Chapter 2: Not Quite Stranger Danger

Spring semester Junior Year, things were looking up. 

I had spent the fall abroad, in a dream location. Learning a second language and getting closer to the other people in my major. I had been a dream and I was afraid it would end in the spring. But being on campus again was no refreshing. My ex was abroad in the spring semester so i wouldn't have to be fake polite. I was still ashamed to be thinking about him but after having not been laid since then, so of course he would pop into my mind. All I had to do was think about how he would only tell me he loved me when he was drunk and instantly any positive memories would dissolve. I had started focusing more on diversifying my studies. Taking more liberal arts to balance out my science classes and it made me a happier person.

I had new friends from going abroad and a semester of positive experiences to hold me over. I was learning to love myself again. And it was smooth sailing.

In the middle of the semester, like most undergraduate locations, there was a concert. I was excited to go with friends and experience all kinds of recreational drugs that had been on my bucket list. I was and always will be a goody two shoes so this was my chance to be bad. I'm the kid you invited to your events so your parents will give you the okay to go. I'm the friend your mom low key compares you to when she gets mad. But I'm also the boring friend. This was me trying to get out of my shell. Springfest would be my one day to be wild.

I straightened my hair, taking hours and gallons of heat protectant. It wasn't perfectly straight, but as straight as you could get natural hair at 350 degrees on a flat iron. I put it in two flat braids, hoping to put a kink in it, before slapping on sweats and running to my friend's house to morning fun. I could hear music blasting from the frats on the main road, and was glad that my group of friends lived in student housing a distance away. I walked to the second building in my complex and waited for my friend Ling to show up. She had gone abroad with me and we had gotten a lot closer. We were meeting up early to help our friend Derek set up for his all day pregame. Ling was super straight laced, this wasn't her usual scene, but Derek had lured her in with promises of making bubble tea. So here we were knocking on Derek's door at 10 AM on a saturday. We knocked for several minutes, no noise on the other side.

"Do you think he's asleep?" I asked.

"He better not be, i was promised tea!" Ling was only 5 ft tall but super feisty when it came to food and drinks. She continued to pound on the door. "Derek, those bubbles better be fresh!"

Suddenly the door opened. Derek was still half asleep. Oversized tee shirt, boxer briefs, long black hair half in his face. He had one eye open as if the other was still trying to get some sleep. Honestly, he was beautiful. If I hadn't been here before I honestly would have mistaken my friend for a girl. "Derek, you look like a princess" shouted Ling.

He nodded and opened the door the rest of the way, letting us in as we chatted loudly about nothing in particular. "Oh, my friend is sleeping on the couch" Derek added nonchalantly.

I turned my head and there on the couch was a man with his jacket strewn over his face, fully dressed, passed out on the tiny dorm room couch. Dennis continued down the hallway back into his room, to get ready for the day, leaving me and Ling with this stranger.

I turned to Ling. "dare desu ka? (who is this)"

"Shiranai yo( i dont know)" was her reply. Thank god we had taken classes in this so we could gossip in peace.

Ling was chinese american, and so was Derek. I was too stupid to learn Mandarin so I had chosen Japanese instead. After combing through the weebs and the fetishizers, there were a few cool people left in the department, Ling and Derek being two of them. And since I coudn't speak mandarin or shangai-nese or fuzhou-nese, Japanese was the gossip language of choice.

"Chugokugo ga wakaru kana?(I wonder if he speaks chinese too) "

"Hontou ni ki ni shinai, demo kore ha chotto okashii to omou. Doushiste kare ha so-fa de neteiru? Okite! (I dont really care, but i think this is a little strange. Why is he sleeping on the sofa. Wake up!)"

We continued to chat and giggle, until Derek came back out in his usual baggy attire. We made out bubble tea and chatted loudly some more, the stranger on the couch shifting.

Finally I was nosy enough to ask. "Hey Derek, Who's your friend here and does he speak japanese too?"

The friend finally sat up. Ripping the jacket off his face. "Oh my god you guys are honestly so fucking loud. And why would I speak Japanese, I'm fucking korean"

I turned slowly, and our eyes met. His were hazel and still sleep deprived. His eyes had to be the only outstanding feature on him because the rest of this guy was entirely average. "Hey, who are you yelling at," I retorted. "And look, the rest of us here speak japanese so it wasn't a ridiculous question!" The answer didn't seem to soothe his feelings and he continued to sleepily glare.

"oi , kono yatsu (look at this asshole)" I said to Ling, and she began to laugh.

"Hey, at least talk about me in english!" I looked back up at the stranger.

"Well who the fuck am I talking about right now, I don't even know your name?"

"It's Cavan."

"Well, nice to meet you Cavan"

Derek suddenly whipped out a deck of cards. He nodded his head towards his friend. "I think we should play, and invite him too," said Derek

So Ling and I grabbed our luke warm bubble tea glasses and shuffled over to the generic living room set that matched the set I had in my apartment two buildings over. "Move over, you're taking up too much room."

Derek and Ling had taken the two single armchairs leaving Cavan and I to share the loveseat. He seemed annoyed at the idea of moving and grunted before making space for me.

Derek and Ling looked at each other. It was about to be a long day.