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patton-croc-agenda · 7 years ago

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LAMP AU Where They’re in a Band

Okay just think about it

It’s Roman’s idea (of course). He gets the idea junior year of college and knows his friends Virgil, Patton, and Logan all like music too so he asks them to join

Virgil and Logan are hesitant, but Patton is super on board. Puppy eyes from Roman and Patton convince them

Roman is the only one who actually knows how to play an instrument (guitar), but he wants to be the lead singer so he helps teach Logan guitar. Patton learns the drums from his cousin (who also lets them practice in their garage) and Virgil self-teaches himself how to play bass

They’re pretty bad at first and they start out super small, just doing cover songs for fun. It’s actually super fun and they all look forward to it on days they practice

They end up writing some of their own songs later, headed by Roman and assisted by Logan after some convincing from Patton (it’s like poetry, but set to music!)

Patton walks in one day to see Virgil threatening his cousin. Apparently they secretly filmed one of their practices and put it on Facebook. All their families seemed to really enjoy their music, so Virgil lets it slide

He doesn’t let it slide as easily when he finds Roman setting up a video camera at their next practice. Roman decided they should start uploading their music to YouTube. Virgil doesn’t like it, but the others think it’s a good idea so Virgil hesitantly agrees

“We need a name for sure, now” Roman informs them. They’re all going for a walk and talking about the band. “What about-” Logan starts before Patton screams “LAMP!” and shoves Virgil out of the way as someone throws a lamp out of their window. They walk faster, Roman wheezing with laughter, Logan looking over Virgil for any damage, and Patton grinning sheepishly

They take that as destiny and name their band LAMP (in all caps)

They occasionally play at fundraisers and bars around their town, now that Virgil’s comfortable enough with others hearing him play. Everyone loves them.

Their audience, surprisingly, grows quite rapidly. Roman starts out as just the lead singer, but ends up doing some guitar too when Patton asks if he can sing with Roman for one song

After that, songs would vary between just Roman singing, Roman and Patton singing, and very rarely Virgil would shyly join in

Roman sets up a joint twitter for them once they hit 2,000 subscribers on their YouTube channel

“What’re your names, by the way?”, one of their very first fans asks on twitter. Virgil replies “Well, I’m just a big ball of Anxiety” -bassist

The fans start calling Virgil Anxiety. Roman decides this is a great idea and makes them all have codenames. Logan thinks it’s illogical? Boom, you’re Logic now. Patton makes a lot of group decisions based on what he thinks would be best for them? Boom, Morality. Roman does all the effects and most of the songwriting? Creativity bAby.

In their first video QnA Virgil snorts and jokingly calls Roman Princey after he starts listing all his favorite disney movies. The fans start calling him Princey after that instead of Creativity, though he doesn’t mind much

In the QnA they’re asked if they like anyone. Patton turns bright red and babbles, something about ‘they might feel the same…’. Virgil hunches down and grumbles “of course not”, despite his expression saying otherwise. Roman admits he’s always crushing on someone. Logan says nothing, expression blank

Eventually, during the summer after they all graduated college, they somehow get a record deal and weLP now their music is on the radio? Virgil totally doesn’t scream the first time he turns on the radio and hears his own voice

They end up deciding to move in together. They make more money than they expected off their music. Along with that, their YouTube channel had over 2 million subscribers now. They move into a pretty big house and that’s when Princey starts vlogging.

When he first starts it’s pretty bad, just like the band. Virgil and Logan feel like their privacy is being invaded, so they hide in their rooms, and Patton just waves excitedly whenever he sees the camera

Eventually Logan stops hiding in his room all day, and even later Virgil does too. Logan starts talking in the vlogs, Virgil mostly grunts and hides in his hoodie.

“Why doesn’t Logic ever sing?” they’re asking in one of their now bi-monthly QnAs. Logan looks away from the camera for the first time ever in a QnA and says “I do not like to sing.” Which is a complete lie. Patton sometimes will hear Logan singing in the shower. Recently he had been humming something Patton had never heard before, but it was beautiful. He would sometimes sit against the bathroom door and listen. Sometimes, Roman and Virgil would join him

Roman and Patton do a baking vlog one time. It’s a mess, but they don’t mind. They’re laughing and singing and every comment is saying stuff like ‘2 pure’ and ‘highkey ship them’

Patton knew he’d had a crush on Logan for a while, but after reading those comments starts to realize he likes Roman too??? And Virgil had always been his best friend and oh god could he like all of them??? Was that a thing he could do???

Roman has a similar crisis across the house as he screams into a pillow. Virgil walks in and awkwardly rubs his back in an attempt to comfort him, despite not knowing what was wrong. It was kind of nice. Virgil liked Roman a lot. He liked all of his friends a lot…Whoops time for him to go, he was turning bright red at the realization

The three of them are all dancing around each other after that. Not in videos obviously, but when Roman isn’t filming sometimes the silence gets tense. Roman starts to film more just to fill it.

They all like hanging out in town, but they’re starting to get recognized more. They can’t risk using their names when ordering coffee anymore (Logan still thinks this whole thing is stupid)

They go on their first tour and BOY ARE THEY TERRIFIED. It’s super weird having fans come to see them perform on stage. Patton keeps checking on Virgil to keep himself busy, Roman frantically types out possible lyrics for new songs, Logan tells Roman they don’t need to write songs right now that’s not a tour was for.

They almost cancel when Virgil has a panic attack right before their first show, but they soothe him enough and he assures them he wants to go on. They do, it goes fantastically.

During their tour, after their ‘last song’, Roman suddenly talks into the mic, saying they have one more song. Logan is confused and steps back as his friends play him happy birthday, and then an original song about him and…uh oh, feelings.

Logan almost cries as Patton gets up from where he’s sitting behind his drums and opens his arms. He launches himself into the hug and poor Patton, who’s mic is still on, says “Alright then, Logan?”

Roman is furious that their cover is blown, Patton is sheepish and just shrugs pathetically, Virgil tries to defend him, and Logan doesn’t give a shit

Roman ends up revealing his name next at a concert. Probably through some hilarious shenanigans

At another concert, they’re all signing autographs after the fact and a little girl tugs his pant leg and whispers. “Could I be as cool as you one day Mr. Morality, sir?” Patton smiles and ruffles her hair. “Of course you can kiddo! And call me Patton.”

Virgil’s name still hadn’t been revealed. A lot about him was a mystery to the fans. They loved it, and Virgil was slightly afraid that if they found out his name they wouldn’t have any reason to like him anymore.

Eventually, Virgil posts a solo vlog about his experiences with Anxiety for their channel and tell them his name. The video goes viral pretty much overnight.

After their tour, everything feels calm again. They’re all at home and not running around like crazy every morning. They need to work on their new album, but Roman’s got creative block, so they’re not really doing much.

All this pesky nothingness is bringing feelings up again. Roman gets back into vlogging daily, as he couldn’t do as much filming while on tour. Virgil is a lot more open after his personal vlog and talks more when Roman films

One day, Roman, Patton, and Virgil wake up and check Twitter to see a bunch of people @ing them both on their joint account and their personal accounts

Apparently Logan had uploaded a video the night before and deleted it, but it had been too late. People had downloaded it and were sending it to everyone

In it Logan sang. He sang a love song, one he’d written. Patton recognized it as the song Logan had been humming in the shower for months now.

Fans start theorizing about who Logan meant in the song. Ship wars break out, it’s madness.

The vlogging goes dead for about a week before they’re back on. All four seem a lot more cheerful than usual. Apparently something happened that helped Roman out of his creative block and their new album would be out soon

When it came out, listeners were shocked to find that they were all love songs???? With duets from Roman and Patton, ones where all four (yes, even Logan) sang, and solos from every single one of them

Audiences were split on what this could possibly mean. Were they singing to each other? If so, who was together with who?

They end up going on tour again before their fans are given answers. It’s Roman’s birthday and they all sing an original song again before Patton walks up to him, smiling softly. “Thanks to you…we get to have all this. Thank you” and he kisses him

Fans are screaming in joy and shock…then Virgil walks over and kisses Roman too, and Logan does as well. Everyone is confused

Roman faces the audience and screams “THAT’S RIGHT! WE’RE ALL DATING EACH OTHER!” then grabs Virgil and Logan (who’re the closest) and slings them over his shoulders before dashing off stage. Patton laughs and runs after him

It’s big news. They’re the first really popular band that happens to be in a poly relationship. The interviews are a little awkward, but they’re all too in love to care

They still do some other songs, but now most of their music are love songs dedicated to each other. Fans tend to love the ones where they all sing together the most. Their voices all fit together perfectly, just like the members themselves.

tl;dr: They boys start a band and start dating so they sing cute love songs with each other about each other and it’s good and wholesome

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #lamp/calm #polysanders #this was longer then i was expecting oops #og post

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fromtheringapron · 6 years ago

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WWF Royal Rumble 1999

Date: January 24, 1999.

Location: The Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim, California.

Attendance: 14,816.

Commentary: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler. Shane McMahon joined commentary for match 4.

Results:

1. Big Boss Man defeated Road Dogg.

2. WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Ken Shamrock (champion) defeated Billy Gunn.

3. WWF European Championship Match: X-Pac (champion) defeated Gangrel.

4. Strap Match for the WWF Women’s Championship: Sable (champion) defeated Luna Vachon (with Shane McMahon).

5. I Quit Match for the WWF Championship: The Rock defeated Mankind (champion) to win the title.

6. Royal Rumble Match: Vince McMahon won the match by lastly eliminating Steve Austin. Other participants included (in order of appearance): Golga, Droz, Edge, Gillberg, Steve Blackman, Dan Severn, Tiger Ali Singh, The Blue Meanie, Mabel, Road Dogg, Gangrel, Kurrgan, Al Snow, Goldust, The Godfather, Kane, Ken Shamrock, Billy Gunn, Test, Big Boss Man, Triple H, Val Venis, X-Pac, Mark Henry, Jeff Jarrett, D’Lo Brown, Owen Hart, and Chyna.

Analysis

The 1999 edition of the Royal Rumble may be one of the most memorable in the history of the event. Let me clarify, mind you, that memorable doesn’t necessarily mean great, as this show is far from it. But few capture the spirit of the Attitude Era quite like this one, for better or worse. The WWF is reaching enormous heights in popularity thanks to its brand of crash TV. The fans in the arenas are submerging under a tidal wave of crass, neon signage. The matches are constantly booked with run-ins and outside interference. Storylines move have more twists and turns than a Mario Kart course. When the product isn’t serious and gritty, it’s campy and oversexed. Everything has the vague feeling of a nu-metal concert. Sure, the era’s success carried on into the early 2000s, but you can’t deny the time period in which this show takes place is smack dab in the middle of the Attitude Era vortex.

And you really can’t acknowledge this time period without mentioning Vince Russo, the man responsible for turning the WWF into a barrage of Jerry Springer theatrics and all the bad taste that comes along with it. Under Russo’s watch, every member of the roster is given a storyline It’s wonderful to learn that, say, Steve Blackman and Dan Severn are feuding or that the J.O.B. Squad and The Brood are feuding. It should be noted, however, that this doesn’t mean every member of the roster is given a good storyline because it’s still Russo at the end of day and there’s going to be content that’s varying degrees of problematic. Still, giving everyone something to do is a great idea and certainly one of the hallmarks of the Attitude Era that WWE should implement today.

On the other hand, one thing is they should not implement today is basically try to stuff an entire episode of Raw into the Royal Rumble match, which is what happens here. As I explained in my ranking of the Rumbles, the match isn’t boring. There’s just so much going on that there isn’t really a lull but, amidst all of that, the actual Rumble feels like the least important thing. Sure, there’s all the intrigue of Austin vs. McMahon at its zenith, but it’s a story so big that it can’t help but overshadow considerable portions of the match. Plus, it leaves the winner options pretty limited. Either Austin wins for the third year in a row, a logical choice but wouldn’t fly in an era that would deliver swerves just to avoid the predictability, or McMahon wins, which everyone would know to be a ruse the instant it happens. Literally anyone else winning would seem out-of-the-blue.

The Royal Rumble undercard, no matter how good it may be, always feels like something to pass the time until we get to the main attraction. This show isn’t an exception to the rule, but it does feature one of the most legitimately brutal contests of its era: the I Quit match between The Rock and Mankind. We, 20 years later, know so much more about the dangers of unprotected chair spots but the late ‘90s was a much different time where wrestlers were upping the ante on risky high spots just to pop a crowd or a TV rating, much to the detriment of their own health. It’s weird how there’s a spot where Mankind gets thrown into an electrical circuit board and people kinda forget about that now. The real spot of the match is Mick Foley is shedding years off his career, and possibly life, by taking a series of legit, unplanned chair shots to the head. It’s hard to watch now, but it’s the rare occasion where an undercard Rumble match may be more remembered than the Rumble itself.

As a whole, Royal Rumble 1999 isn’t the most satisfying Attitude Era show, but it does gives you a good taste of an extremely popular time in wrestling history. Just don’t try to consume the whole thing all at once. For every good idea in the era, there’s a bunch that don’t work, and like Mick Foley on that January night, the WWF doesn’t seem to know when to call it quits.

My Random Notes

Of course, this show’s coverage on the documentary Beyond the Mat is a huge reason why it’s so memorable. Does it get any more real than watching Mick Foley take all those chair shots as his children look on in terror?

This show immediately got me thinking about the WWF Attitude game I had for the Game Boy Color, which I rage quit several times because I never knew how to pin an opponent or get up off the mat.

I had the privilege of watching this show live on pay-per-view and I was so pissed that Mr. McMahon won the Rumble that I swore off wrestling, which only lasted like two seconds because it didn’t stop me from watching WrestleMania XV. Whoops!

Ugh. I also wanted Gangrel to win the European championship so badly and he got so close on that botched pinfall. I was such a mark for him. Heck, I’m still a mark for him.

Oh, and looking back now, I wish Luna Vachon was women’s champ at some point. It’s actually next-level sad that storyline never came full-circle.

Kudos to the dudes in the front row bopping along to the Oddities and The Brood entrance theme. I bet they were delightful at, I’m assuming, the several Korn concerts they attended back in the day.

Imagine being so pathetic that you actually find the time to make a sign that merely says “Sable is Old!” and then wave said sign just so it can be seen in front of a live pay-per-view audience. Some fan was that pathetic on this particular January evening. I mean, wow.

I can’t just not mention the amazing Mr. McMahon training montages leading up to this show. I still quote the whole “I HATE AUSTIN!” thing pretty often.

Terri Runnels accompanies D’Lo Brown to the ring by, um, performing an interpretive dance?!?

You know what? Kane’s character development throughout 1999 is amazing to watch. They did such a good job of making him a more relatable, human character. Easily one of the best parts of the Rumble is when he wrecks shit and receives a major pop for it. For someone whose character is so prone to jokes and truly execrable storylines, it’s great to remember all the times when he’s been, excuse the pun, fire.

On Chyna entering the Rumble: This seems like a fairly minor step forward now in the time of the all-women’s Royal Rumble but for as much as Chyna is thrown in the discussion of trailblazers in the Women’s Revolution, she’s still pretty much on her own level. Sure, there’s all the talk of her as the first woman to do this and that, and rightly so, but nobody has quite thrown up a middle finger to the whole concept of gender quite like Chyna did. No wonder she’s a queer icon.

#royal rumble #attitude era #mick foley #the rock

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corgisocks · 7 years ago

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85 questions

tagged by @ribenaflip 💞💕💖💗

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

EDIT: as of 2019, this tag is like 20% irrelevant to what i’m like now....did it in 2017 so

— what was your last…

1. drink: water

2. phone call: it was me calling jojo’s phone so they could find it

3. text message: “I am having a major crisis”

4. song you listened to: coffee & tv by blur

5. you cried: that’s tmi but also saying it’s tmi is tmi and all of this is tmi so what am i DOING

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nooo

7. kissed someone and regretted it: yes i kissed a piece of toast and it got crumbs all over my face

8. been cheated on: if i have been that’d be concerning seeing as i’ve never not been single

9. lost someone special: not recently.

10. been depressed: 24 hours 7 days a week m8

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: what is an alcohol? (no)

— fave colours

12. vermilion 13. cerulean 14. very very dark grey

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: YEET (shoutout to the gc)

16. fallen out of love: i WISH (lmao it’s been 2 years please end me)

17. laughed until you cried: yea obvs

18. found out someone was talking about you: many times. many many many times.

19. met someone who has positively changed you: YES. my bestest buddy has and not in a bad way. i’m definitely a better and happier person because i met him

20. found out who your friends are: i never think about friendships in that kind of way. and if i did i probs wouldn’t care to be like ‘they were a shitty friend’ instead it’d just be like they were someone in my life and it sucks that they’re not/don’t want to be in a good way anymore but shit happens. and i don’t take it personally

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: what is a face book because if it’s like a book of faces i kissed myself in the picture of my group of friends that is in my yearbook

— general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know irl: again…what is a face book

23. do you have any pets: YEET

24. do you want to change your name: i mean idk i think i’d be cool with just usin a nickname for now i’ll figure the legal stuff out later

25. what did you do for your last birthday: went to my friend’s birthday party. spent almost all of it looking for one of the people who was invited with two of my bros. then i saw wonder woman, went to a reallyreally good korean bakery, and then went to the empire state building. and last but not least, the next day, my friends came over and we played clue and mariokart. all in all it was a 10/10 birthday tbh! (it was an anomaly though ngl my birthday this year is going to be infinitely more depressing)

26. what time did you wake up today: 5:30 am cos my school starts too fuckin early ;(

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: taking a shower

28. what is something you can’t wait for: plake’s upcoming single (it’s my fav and i’ve been wanting it in my library for m o n t h s so i’m 110% ready for it

30. what are you listening to right now: the sound of people talking

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i was at an improv comedy show and of all people i was picked to volunteer and when i was on stage my shoe fell off and one of the comedians who was called tom was like 'your foot has been borne to the audience’

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: my own exhaustion!

33. most visited website: my school’s online gradebook 😬

34. hair colour: really dark brown (some people think it’s black but NO)

35. long or short hair: short...it will never be long again i assure you

36. do you have a crush on someone: yes ;(((

37a. what do you like about yourself: i may be an awful person atm but at least i can understand why i am the way i am and know how to improve

37b. what’s something you don’t like about yourself: too many things. rn though i don’t like how i come off as like a 'show-off’ when i’m trying to help people cos me trying to get them to like actually understand what they’re learning always sets em off even though it’d be worse to just do things my own confusing way and leave em in the dust. i also hate how i get frustrated with them (and myself tbh) when that happens

38. want any piercings: hecc no

39. blood type: i legit have no clue

40. nicknames: lou, coco

41. relationship status: what is a relation ship

42. sign: gemini

43. pronouns: he/they i GUESS

44. fave tv show: peppa pig tbh

45. tattoos: hecc no!

46. right or left handed: BOTH

47: ever had surgery: nope 😬

48. piercings: once again HECC NO

49. sport: used to do tennis and track. now i kind of just do a lil bit of everything for fun and i love biking and running

50. vacation: yes please. i need a vacation from LIFE

51. trainers: i’ve had the same old black nikes for three years and the same flip flops for five ;( (and i also have some black converse high-tops that i never wear unless i need to look 'nice’ whoops)

— more general

52. eating: i prefer raw foods to pretty much everything so poke bowls are my jam. i’m also a vegetarian who doesn’t eat fruit because what is self-care??

53. drinking: water. it’s important to stay hydrated

54. i’m about to watch: my surroundings that aren’t my phone

55. waiting for: this tag to be over. yikes

56. want: to pass english for ONE GODDAMN MARKING PERIOD before i graduate cos i haven’t since mp1 of ninth grade during which i got a 99 (now i have a 15 look how far i’ve come!!)

57. get married: i mean…

58. career: ah yes i’ll probably have one of those

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: y'all mean in relationships? no pref. generally speaking though i almost always hate both

60. lips or eyes: no pref

61. shorter or taller: no pref…

62. older or younger: i don’t think about any of this shit i am so confused!!

63. nice arms or stomach: what constitutes an arm or stomach being nice?

64. hookup or relationships: labels ew neither is good

65. troublemaker or hesitant: somehow i’m both. like i’m loud as fuck and kind of obnoxious and audacious but i also have 9.9/10 self-control. so like i would be cool with either type of person

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: i hope not

67. drank hard liquor: hecc no

68. turned someone down: i thought i was gonna have to but that never happened WHEW

69. sex on first date: what is this “sex” you speak of? what is a “date”?

70: broken someone’s heart: i hope not! except hearts are kinda squishy so like i probably haven’t

71. had your heart broken: no although my heart rate’s so high i fear it will explode one of these days

72. been arrested: so far, no

73. cried when someone died: :((( chris cornell. i was lookin up soundgarden on google to find tour dates near where my uncle lives and then i saw it and i was like 'no. nononono. nonononononononono.’ then i let one tear escape from the ducts in my eyes before going into denial river. (aren’t i so fuckin clever 😤😤😤)

i also cried during a tribute to chester bennington at a muse concert if that counts

74. fallen for a friend: once again ew labels but y'all should know by now that i HAVE and i’m STILL falling ;(

— do you believe in

75. yourself: i have no concept of anything in existence and this tag has made me realise that. whoops

76. miracles: i could ramble about this one but i don’t have the time

77. love at first sight: dunno, but i will say that when i met my best friend i knew i was going to love him from how he acted and what his sense of humour is like. he’s so unique really like you can TELL he’s his own person and he owns it without trying to

78. santa claus: yes but only cos i’m tryin to stay off the naughty list

79. angels: what is an angels

— misc

80. eye colour: this is a subject that has been widely debated so for now i’ll just say they’re either grey or green or both

81. best friend’s name: zeke

82. favourite movie: i have no concept of having a favorite movie unless it’s based on who it’s by so i’ll say my favorite pixar movie is wall-e for the sake of having something down for this question. otherwise it’s probs either memento or the imitation game.

83. favourite actor: myself 🤔

84. favourite cartoon: oh shit that’s too hard. my favs as a young child were tom and jerry and the first season of the pokémon anime and i guess my fav one that’s more 'mature’ is bojack horseman (although i’ve only seen half the first season lol)

85. favourite teacher’s name: my favorite is either nicole, hyungmin, rebecca, eileen, hayley, matt, kevin, or robert, but like…i hate picking cos that’s just unfair. so idrk

can’t tag rn but do this if you want to i guess

#i am a relatively uninteresting person #tag

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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The Best TV Shows of 2020

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Some year, eh?

We’re often poetic about TV around these parts. It’s no secret that we like to sing its praises as a powerful, restorative, and maybe sometimes therapeutic medium. But during a dangerous, confusing year, delving into the many ways that TV “kept us sane” or whatever feels reductive.

What we can say, however, is this: TV was around this year. And that’s no small feat as not every other medium was so lucky. Concerts and other live performances were canceled. The movie-going experience was upended (perhaps permanently), and even curling up with a nice book at a coffee shop was no longer an option for much of the year. The TV production schedule may have been disrupted, but for the most part, the television machine chugged along, providing us with a diverse (and often overwhelming) number of truly excellent options to take in.

This year we want to honor the best of those TV shows – not for any particular reason other than that it’s fun to do and we’ve all earned some year-end distractions. We had our staff vote on their favorite series, polled you the reader as well, then crunched all the numbers in an intensely complicated propriety equation (not really) to determine our winners.

Please enjoy our choices for the 25 Best TV Shows of 2020.

25. How To with John Wilson

How To with John Wilson is the heir to Nathan For You’s throne, which seems obvious considering the series boasts Nathan Fielder as an executive producer, but the new HBO series shares much of the fiercely beloved former Comedy Central series’ DNA. While Nathan For You used helping businesses as a jumping off point to explore social interactions and the funny, insane things that people may say or do if you point a camera in their face, How To with John Wilson purports to explain how to perform simple tasks like making small talk or splitting a check, but mostly showcases how beautiful, ugly, life-affirming, and odd life in New York City can be. It’s a difficult show to explain, but it uses dry narration and quick documentary-style footage to create laugh out loud set-ups and punchlines, and digresses into some of the most poignant, and “WTF” moments found in a comedy series. You may not learn much, but you’ll laugh a lot.

– Nick Harley

24. The Plot Against America

TV writing geniuses David Simon and Ed Burns (The Wire, The Deuce) are masters of subtlety. Their many shows, several of which are among the best in TV history, know how to conquer small moments en route to a bigger, oft devastating picture. During these very unsubtle times then, how could they possibly adapt Philip Roth’s equally unsubtle book about creeping fascism in America, The Plot Against America? The answer, as it turns out, is with the same gentle touch and keen understanding of the human condition as they always employ.

Like Roth’s 2004 novel, The Plot Against America picks up in an alternate version of the American 1940s, where real life aviation hero and Nazi-sympathizing populist Charles Lindbergh is elected president. The show then follows the working class Jewish Levin family as they deal with the fallout. Simon and Burns’ subtle touch works uncommonly well here. The Plot Against America’s six episodes are in many ways about how gradually and imperceptibly things can get worse until one’s home is no longer recognizable. For obvious reasons, the series resonated this year but its ability to summon creeping dread would have played well just about any time.

– Alec Bojalad

23. Lovecraft Country

A sprawling anthology with an overarching fable set in the depths of Jim Crow America in the 1950s, Lovecraft Country was an epic, political, sometimes gory, always ambitious sci-fi horror unlike anything else in 2020. Following the journey of Atticus (Jonathan Majors), Leti (Jurnee Smollett), and Atticus’s uncle George (Courtney B. Vance) on a mission to find Atticus’s missing father, the story combines real life racist horror with supernatural creatures inspired by H.P. Lovecraft.

Each episode is both a standalone story and part of the whole, playing with different subgenres. Ep 3 “Holy Ghost” is a classic haunted house tale with a historical twist against a backdrop of neighborhood racism, ep 5 “A Strange Case” is an extraordinary body horror which explores the female experience, 6 “Meet Me in Daegu” introduces a character from Korean folklore, while ep 8 “I Am” is a sprawling afrofuturist sci-fi. Created by Misha Green, exec produced by Jordan Peele and JJ Abrams, this is glossy cinematic stuff with a terrific ensemble cast. Talk about bang for your buck.

– Rosie Fletcher

22. His Dark Materials

If season one of this fantasy adaptation was carefully laying the tracks, then season two is hurtling along them, whooping out of the window as it goes. The new episodes started from the high-point of the season one finale and kept climbing. The difference is in tone – this time it’s warmer, keying more successfully into its characters’ emotional lives. It’s bolder too, demonstrating confidence by stepping away from the books to add scenes, humor and modern updates as required.

Season two, adapted from the second book in Philip Pullman’s original trilogy, sees Lyra and Will cross worlds and forge a bond. Will undertakes his own hero’s journey, one involving Spectres, a magical knife and the father he’d long thought dead. The real star though, is Ruth Wilson as Mrs. Coulter, a devilishly complex character into whose head this show is satisfyingly determined to get.

Season two is an episode short, thanks to COVID-19, but we should be grateful it made it here on time at all. The real delight is all the talent and effort that’s gone into telling such a weird story, one that only gets weirder from hereon in…

– Louisa Mellor

21. She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Season 5 of She-Ra was the show at its absolute best. Every restriction seemed to be lifted and it just let loose with all the joy, deepness, and big queer energy it had ever wanted to display. Bless it for that because it allowed the show to go out on the highest of notes. We’d be here all day if we listed all the fantastic plots this season and how everyone got a chance to shine but no moment stands out more than Catra and Adora kissing.

It’s a moment queer fans had hoped for and were shocked it actually happened. Seeing two leads in a legacy property get to be not only confirmed queer but also kiss is still a rare sight and we can only hope it signals great change in animation going forward. We’re sad to see She-Ra go but glad it got to end so perfectly.

– Shamus Kelley

20. Pen15

During the 2011 “Middle School” episode of This American Life, host Ira Glass interviews producer Alex Blumberg, who presents a radical new approach to education in America: get rid of middle school. Children’s bodies and brains are just simply too volatile in their preteen years to meaningfully learn anything in the years between elementary school and high school. Give them a break, then pick up and try again in a couple years.

It’s hard not to think of that interview when watching Hulu’s wonderful middle school comedy Pen15. Lead characters Maya (Maya Erskine) and Anna (Anna Konkle) are very rarely seen learning something in class or poring over their homework. And why would they be? There are boys to obsess over, school plays to audition for, and moments that will scar them forever to experience.

Rarely has there ever been a more frank, honest, and hilarious exploration of the middle school years than Pen15. Much was made during the show’s first season about the adult Konkle and Erskine’s ability to portray their younger selves. And in season 2, they blend in so seamlessly that the novelty of the casting choice might never even occur to the viewer.

– Alec Bojalad

19. I Hate Suzie

The last time playwright Lucy Prebble wrote a TV series for Billie Piper, it was 2007’s Secret Diary of a Call Girl. London-set, glamorous, sexy and funny, that was a distinctly twentysomething story. Over a decade later, Prebble and Piper reunited to do something different in I Hate Suzie; still funny, but rawer, more experimental, and probing all the ways that a thirtysomething woman’s identity – wife, mother, and in this case, celebrity – can be defined by everything except herself.

Piper plays popstar-turned actor Suzie, whose life explodes when hacked photos of her cheating on her husband leak online. Suzie goes through the stages of grief in eight riotous half-hour episodes that experiment with form and genre. There’s drama. There’s satire. There’s singing and dancing. There’s Dexter Fletcher doing coke off a bare arse, and a whole-episode wank that explores the societal construction of female desire. It is, in modern parlance, a lot, in the most exhilarating and enriching way. These two had better not leave it another 10 years until their next collaboration. We demand more.

– Louisa Mellor

18. Rick and Morty

Did you hear? This guy turns himself into a pickle…a PICKLE! It’s wild. Every subsequent year that Rick and Morty airs, it gets harder to separate the “meme” of Rick and Morty from the show itself. Suppose that’s just what happens when a fanbase proves itself to be…uh, energetic, and the Merchandising Industrial Complex kicks itself into overdrive to produce some truly offensively bad Big Dog-style shirts.

Removed from the meta of it all, Rick and Morty still churned out some great episodes of television in 2020. The back half of the series’ two-part season 4 all aired this year and there were real gems included among them. Though it proved to be divisive, “Never Ricking Morty” was certainly among the most structurally ambitious installments the show has ever attempted. Then there was just the sublimely hilarious “The Vat of Acid Episode,” which was enough to earn the show a Best Animated Series Emmy.

– Alec Bojalad

17. Dark

Dark is already notable for reaching levels of popularity in the United States not often enjoyed by subtitled fare, but it also was afforded the rare opportunity to end on its own terms with its third season in 2020. Audiences fell in love with the generational stories of the families living around the nuclear power plant in Winden, Germany, marveling at casting choices for characters in their older or younger forms whose resemblances were spot on.

The time travel plot tied viewers’ brains into knots, but the desire to see an end to the apocalypse was made even deeper by the strong chemistry between Dark’s own Adam and Eve: Jonas and Martha. As the true source of the alternate timelines and causal loops became known, everything about the show’s reality was called into question, but the ending left a lingering question mark to entice fans to speculate long after the show had ended.

– Michael Ahr

16. The Untamed

While The Untamed technically premiered in 2019, the Chinese xianxia drama was one of the escapist stories that most defined a year we all wanted to get as far away from as possible. Bursting onto the transformative fandom scene to come in ninth on Tumblr’s list of the most-discussed live action TV shows of 2020, the foreign-language fantasy series tells the story of supernatural flautist Wei Wuixan (Xiao Zhan) from his humble beginnings as a teen cultivator-in-training to his controversial role as a demonic cultivator war hero to his time as a masked detective after he is mysteriously brought back to life in a stranger’s body 13 years after his gruesome death.

But, like any good melodrama, The Untamed is really all about the relationships. This is a complex emotional story about siblings and sects, honor and morality. At the heart of the interpersonal narrative is the epic romance between Wei Wuixan and his stoic swordsman boyfriend Lan Wangji (Wang Yibo). The Untamed is adapted from an explicitly queer web novel, but China’s anti-LGBTQ censorship laws require the series tell its love story via lingering gazes, clasped wrists, and declarations of undying devotion. The result is no less queer, as these canonical soulmates sacrifice everything but their fervid commitment to protect the innocent for one another.

– Kayti Burt

15. The Haunting of Bly Manor

In 2018, Netflix shrieked its way into the spooky season game with the breakout hit The Haunting of Hill House. The streamer then afforded creator Mike Flanagan the opportunity to American Horror Story-ize his work into an anthology of his own, thus The Haunting series was born. In typical second child fashion, The Haunting of Bly Manor had a world of expectations to live up to, which included its often-adapted source material, primarily the novella Turn of The Screw by Henry James (or Hank Jim as we like to call him) among two other works. Flanagan, who’s a heavyweight in the horror genre at this point, again eschewed a direct remake for a loose adaptation with Bly Manor, a slow burn, but ultimately a deeply personal and satisfying tale of ghosts, both of the faced and faceless variety, intertwined with Gothic romance.

The returning players from the previous season, Victoria Pedretti (Dani), Oliver Jackson-Cohen (Peter Quint), Henry Thomas (Henry Wingrave), Carla Gugino (The Storyteller), and Kate Siegel (a surprise character in an excellent episode 8), bring back some of the winning chemistry from Hill House. However it’s the newcomers to the series, T’Nia Miller as Hannah Grose the housekeeper, Amelia Eve as Jamie the gardener, and Rahul Kohli as Owen the cook, whose standout performances ground Flanagan’s headier concepts, like the series’ mesmerizing fifth episode. It’s through these characters that Bly Manor poignantly articulates how love can be as much of a burden as it is a blessing. Not long after your Bly Manor binge is complete, Flora’s line, “You said it was a ghost story. It isn’t. It’s a love story,” will crystallize the throughline Flanagan was gunning for. And if that line isn’t a lasting memory of the limited series, perhaps it’s Owen’s lucious mustache, the best on TV in 2020, that will live on.

– Chris Longo

14. Ted Lasso

In a relentlessly dark year, Ted Lasso was one of the few rays of sunshine that warmed our hearts. Its title character is so pleasant and optimistic, he makes Leslie Knope look like a curmudgeon by comparison. Folksy, thoughtful, and almost aggressively friendly, Jason Sudeikis’s Lasso is hired to lead a struggling English Premier League team in a move of sabotage, but ends up charming the pants off of the squad and proving the power of positivity.

The character is practically impossible not to like, and in a time of so much anxiety and frustration, it’s refreshing to spend time with someone like Ted. The title coach isn’t the only reason to watch; the show features well-crafted characters with satisfying individual arcs, comforting, yet well-executed sports movie tropes, and funny fish out of water culture clash moments. Ted Lasso is a breezy, low-effort experience that makes you feel good. What more could you ask for in 2020?

– Nick Harley

13. The Umbrella Academy

The first season of The Umbrella Academy was already a stellar achievement in adapting the gloriously weird Gerard Way/Gabriel Bá graphic novels, but season 2 took the show to another level in 2020. The varied reactions of the superpowered family to being stranded in 1960s Dallas were extremely enlightening and made the characters even more enjoyable with all of their quirks, flaws, and emotional depth.

Of particular interest was the manner in which Allison strove to lead a normal life with a husband that loved her despite the difficulties of being Black in the segregated South and her determination not to use her powers. Fan favorite character Ben also received a noble and inspiring arc that led to a completely new role for him in season 3. Although there are plenty of mysteries remaining, the unfolding backstory leaves us always wanting more of The Umbrella Academy.

– Michael Ahr

12. The Great

“Russia must be saved, and I with it.” An occasionally true story from The Favourite co-screenwriter Tony McNamara, The Great is a satirical look at the rise of Russian monarch Catherine the Great (Elle Fanning, getting a chance to show off her comedic chops), from her arrival from Prussia as a naive teen bride to her time plotting the death of her husband, Emperor Peter III (Nicholas Hoult, seemingly having the time of his career). The Great is cutting, clever, and hilarious, but, like The Favourite before it, its true secret weapon lies in its moments of earnest emotion.

The Hulu series revels in the often absurd nature of its subject matter, but not at the cost of ignoring the trauma and joys of its often gruesome world. The unpredictability of which kind of scene you will get next—absurd, deeply emotional, or both—creates a fantastic dramatic tension that sustains throughout the entire 10-episode first season, perhaps necessary in a story that, should it follow the broadest of historical strokes, the viewer knows will end in Catherine’s triumph. Huzzah!

– Kayti Burt

11. Harley Quinn

This year, we found out the answer to a question that no one was really asking – “who would win: a big budget Birds of Prey DC spinoff movie starring Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn, or one small Harley Quinn-focused animated series that was seemingly about to be left for dead on the ailing DC Universe streaming service?” Harley Quinn won, for everyone who cared to investigate, as the show leveled up in season 2 by having the balls to let Dr. Harleen Frances Quinzel fall in love with her sardonic roommate Poison Ivy on screen and ditch any lingering feelings she had for the Joker, but for those not invested in the romance (they should go have a soup and rethink their priorities) there was so much else going on beyond deconstructing its central character.

Animated shows are typically seen as an immature, lesser form of entertainment than live-action series, but just imagining the creativity you’d need to come up with this many running jokes, in-jokes and meta jokes for the larger-than-life characters of Gotham is exhausting. There’s so much writing talent behind Harley Quinn that a third season wasn’t just expected, but demanded. And indeed, Harley Quinn will live on at HBO Max, but if it hadn’t happened, we’d do what the Doctor ordered and RIOT.

– Kirsten Howard

10. BoJack Horseman

Through its superb six-season run, BoJack Horseman’s tonal brilliance came to be an expected fact of life. Early on, it was tempting to pull non-viewers aside, shake their shoulders, and yell in their face “No, you don’t get it! It’s an animated comedy about a horse that was a ‘90s sitcom, yes, but it’s also a searing exploration of depression, dysfunction, and the dismal nature of the human condition!” It’s to the show’s eternal credit that that stellar comedic/dramatic tightrope act became all but a given a few seasons in and the world adjusted to it thusly. But even with that level of familiarity and comfort, it’s jarring just how well the show pulls off that delicate formula in its final, and perhaps best season.

BoJack Horseman season 6 premiered eight of its final 16 episodes in 2020’s first month and their dramatic resonance carried through the rest of the year. The story ends here as we always expected it might. BoJack’s past finally catches up to him, and when he becomes a pop culture pariah, he slowly begins to undo whatever progress he made throughout the series, culminating in a stunning penultimate episode where BoJack faces the infinite and meets up with all the figures in his life who died along the way. But it’s not until the show’s very end where the message comes into clear focus. BoJack has to start all over again, just like we all must from time to time. The difference this time is that the other people in his life are finally prepared to move on…possibly without him. “Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if this night was the last time we ever talked to each other?” BoJack says to Diane as they look up at the Hollywood night sky. Wouldn’t it be funny indeed.

– Alec Bojalad

9. Legends of Tomorrow

There is no superhero TV show that has strayed as far from its superheroic roots than Legends of Tomorrow. Despite the fact that its full official title is quick to point out that this is indeed DC’s Legends of Tomorrow, you’d be hard pressed to find a DC show less overtly concerned about its comic book roots, or even with any synergistic responsibilities it may have to the other DC shows in its orbit. Sure, Supergirl, Black Lightning, The Flash, and Stargirl are great, and they’re note perfect representations of what makes those characters special, but Legends does everything those other shows do, but with far less recognizable characters, with far more laughs, and an effortlessly perfect ensemble cast boasting chemistry for days.

No matter how high the reality-altering stakes, it all seems less important than watching the friendships between this crew of superheroic time traveling misfits. Legends of Tomorrow is everything good and hopeful and pure (ok, well…maybe not pure, especially where Matt Ryan’s John Constantine is concerned) about superhero shows without any of the baggage, and often without the superheroics. Always hilarious and often surprisingly touching, there’s not a single superhero team on the big or small screen that you’d rather actually hang out with. You don’t have to love superhero TV to love Legends, you just have to love TV.

– Mike Cecchini

8. Schitt’s Creek

People who love Schitt’s Creek LOVE Schitt’s Creek. It’s almost become cult-like in its following, so the arrival of the sixth and final season felt like an event and the end of a journey not just for fans of the show but the stars themselves. Season six isn’t the best season of Schitt’s – it leans into the schmaltz and sentiment heavily and throws realism to the wind in favor of the absurd but if you’ve come this far with the displaced Rose family and the sometimes odd but overall endearing residents of Schitt’s Creek, you won’t be disappointed.

All the major players get their arc. Alexis and Ted’s separation is heartbreaking, Moira’s Crows movie premiere is a hilarious mess, some of the Jazzagals almost join a cult… the season is packed with ridiculous scenarios in between many more moments of genuine sweetness as it gently guides its characters to an end. The finale comes together with David’s wedding to Patrick – a perfectly idiosyncratic affair in the Schitt’s Creek town hall. It’s a moving send off to which we’re all invited.

This is a show about family and community, created by a real family – father and son Eugene and Daniel Levy (sister Sarah plays Twyla) – that spawned a community of fans. This might be the end of Schitt’s Creek but we can always re-visit.

– Rosie Fletcher

7. Devs

Alex Garland’s unsettling, yet visually gorgeous science-fiction parables are always thought-provoking, but FX’s Devs asks bigger questions than any of the writer/directors previous projects. Do we determine our own fates? Does the multiverse exist? Can computers predict our future? Devs isn’t just heady techno-philosophical musings, it spends its runtime being a pretty satisfying corporate thriller, with our protagonist Lily (Sonoya Mizuno) investigating the mysterious disappearance of her boyfriend.

This is a somewhat scathing indictment on Silicon Valley culture, with a Google-esque tech company operating with unmatched power in the shadows. Featuring a moving dramatic performance from Nick Offerman and a star-making turn from Sonoya Mizuno, Devs is just as pretty, existentially threatening, and hard sci-fi as Garland’s beloved films Ex Machina and Annihilation. If you love thrillers, but are also interested in Quantum Theory, this was the limited series you’d been waiting for in 2020.

– Nick Harley

6. The Mandalorian (READERS’ CHOICE)

Starting with its first season and extending into its improved second, The Mandalorian just works. Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni’s creation about the galaxy’s most beloved bounty hunter dad is the kind of forward-thinking Star Wars project that works perfectly on a streaming platform.

If you’re a massive Star Wars nerd, The Mandalorian continues to provide plenty of Easter eggs and callbacks for you, but the show excels at being both a fun reentry point for fans fatigued with the sequels and prequels, and a standalone adventure series for viewers who don’t have much knowledge of Star Wars at all, deftly creating a string of sidequests in a galaxy far, far away that put you firmly in the beautiful Lone Wolf and Cub-like tale of Mando and Grogu as they fly toward an unknown future.

As we recently learned, there will come a time in the next few years when we will be simply drowning in Star Wars TV series, as ten(!) of them are in development, but for now, we get to really savor the intricate worldbuilding going on in The Mandalorian.

This is the way.

– Kirsten Howard

5. The Boys

The Boys was a breakout hit when it first landed on Amazon’s streaming service, but when the series returned, there was a bit of a backlash from fans of the show who were enraged that some of its new episodes would arrive weekly, unlike the binge-ready first season. Luckily, Season 2 had so many “what the fuck” moments in store that the griping soon quietened down, and the show eventually found its stride again after a slow start. Our diabolical, supe-fighting team led by a rather distracted Billy Butcher dealt with one bonkers revelation about Vought International after another this season, while the Supes themselves battled with their own humanity, and both groups often found common ground where they least expected it.

It’s really hard to pick a favorite moment from Season 2, but if you’ve forgotten how out there it was, let us present a wild bouquet that includes “Homelander angrily wanking over the city in the form of his own demented Bat-Signal”, “The Seven filming a very (very) thinly-veiled Zack Snyder-esque superhero movie that had undergone a Joss Whedon rewrite”, “a massive-dicked supe-in-captivity called Love Sausage”, and “a timid child getting confidently pushed off the roof of a house by his own beaming father”. And that’s without bringing up the whole “immortal Nazi” stuff that occasionally propelled the narrative into Verhoeven-level satirical territory.

There were things that didnt work about Season 2, and we can argue about them forever, but there’s one thing that everyone can agree on: if Antony Starr doesn’t get two armfuls of awards for his performance as Homelander, a fucking travesty has occurred.

– Kirsten Howard

4. I May Destroy You

On a night out while writing the second series of her acclaimed sitcom Chewing Gum, Michaela Coel was drugged and sexually assaulted by strangers. What she did with that experience – alchemizing it into a wise and fearless TV drama about trauma and survival – was extraordinary.

I May Destroy You is an extraordinary series. In it, Coel plays Arabella, a young writer also drugged and raped on a night out, while under pressure from publishers to follow up her hit book debut. With long-ranging flashbacks, the story moves through the next year in Bella’s life. We see her draw power from her new identity as a survivor and (often clumsily) navigate close friendships and new sexual relationships. She strays from likeability, changing in response to what happened, and in a transcendent, experimental finale, teaches herself how to live.

Coel is a bewitching lead with excellent support from Weruche Opia and Paapa Essiedu as Bella’s friends Terry and Kwame. This is no dreary misery memoir. It’s surprising, confrontational, often funny and always buzzing with life – a frank and much needed course correction for telling this kind of story on screen.

– Louisa Mellor

3. What We Do in the Shadows

Over the past decade of television, we’ve come to expect a lot out of our TV comedies. Since the Emmy Awards now categorize just about anything that’s 30 minutes long as comedy, the genre is now home to things like shockingly dramatic coming of age tales, intensely personal narratives, and experimental structures. This evolving of the half hour format is a welcome one. At the same time, however, sometimes you just want to laugh.

Enter What We Do in the Shadows. In its remarkable 10-episode second season, this FX adaptation of Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi’s movie of the same name made a serious case for itself as the funniest show on television. And it did so in shockingly simple fashion. In season 2, the character list remains short: just Nandor (Kayvan Novak), Laszlo (Matt Berry), Nadja (Natasia Demetriou), Guillermo (Harvey Guillen), and Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) make up the show’s cast of characters for the most part (give or take a Mark Hamill or Nick Kroll). And that’s all they need.

This year, the writers and performers all operate at the top of their game to make every possible plotline work and every character pairing sing. The comedic energy is top notch from the season’s opening “Resurrection” episode through midseason classics “Colin’s Promotion” and “On The Run” and all the way to the finale “Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires.”

– Alec Bojalad

2. Better Call Saul

The penultimate season of Better Call Saul was an absolutely brilliant run of episodes that perfectly set the stage for a climactic conclusion that looks to be every bit as heart-wrenching and explosive as the final season of parent series Breaking Bad. The show successfully introduced Lalo, perhaps the most charismatic and terrifying villain in Vince Gilligan’s Albuquerque, and merged the series’ seemingly disparate storylines by bringing fan-favorite Kim Wexler closer to the dangerous dealings of the cartel.

It turns out that Jimmy becoming Saul wasn’t the tragedy that we should have been anticipating, it was Kim embracing the Saul way that we should have been worried about. The show’s strengths have always been its meticulous attention to details, fascination with processes, and humanistic view of exactly why someone like Jimmy McGill might break bad and become a dishonorable huckster like Saul Goodman. Those strengths only became more apparent in the thrilling, low-key heartbreaking fifth season.

– Nick Harley

1. The Queen’s Gambit

Oftentimes when assessing the quality of TV shows, we talk about how “timely” they are. In fact, if you scroll back through this list, you will find at least a few instances of just such language. The appeal to Netflix’s stylish, thrilling limited series The Queen’s Gambit, however, is just how timeless it is. And in a year with plenty of timely TV shows, that distinction was enough to launch the show to the very top of our best-of list.

Though we on the television side of Den of Geek are loath to call any rightful TV show an “x-hour movie,” there’s no denying that The Queen’s Gambit fits that mold. But this is not just any kind of filmic experience. It’s a throwback to a ‘70s and ‘80s style of simple, elemental storytelling that simply knows how to win over an audience. The beats of The Queen’s Gambit are predictable, but elegant and perfectly executed. Beth Harmon (the ethereal Anya Taylor-Joy) is a quiet, wide-eyed hero armed with one skill that can make the world care about her and in turn make her care about herself.

So she uses that skill and assembles her tools – her King, Queen, Bishops, Knights, Rooks, and Pawns, to embark on a classical bildungsroman journey of self-discovery and chess dominance. Like a deftly executed chess game itself, each of The Queen’s Gambit’s seven episodes acts like a move on a chess board. Some moments are triumphs, some are defeats, and some are sacrifices. But they all lead into one definitive, enormously satisfying checkmate.

– Alec Bojalad

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Other shows receiving votes: Animaniacs, Ozark, High Fidelity, Star Trek: Picard, The Last Dance, Mrs. America, Solar Opposites, The Hollow, Killing Eve, Noughts + Crosses, Outlander, Star Trek: Discovery, Vida, Saved by the Bell, Lucifer, Gangs of London, Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet, World on Fire, Crash Landing on You, Infinity Train, Locke & Key, McDonalds & Dobbs, Into the Night, The Good Lord Bird, The Last Kingdom, DuckTales, Little Fires Everywhere, Normal People, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Pharmacist, Doctor Who, Away, Dublin Murders, Great Pretender, The Babysitters Club, Tiger King, The Crown, Ramy, The Shivering Truth, Perry Mason, Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!, The Undoing, Westworld, Doom Patrol, Stargirl, The Clone Wars, P-Valley, Bridgerton, Homeland, Stumptown, The Magicians, Bob’s Burgers, Primal, Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous, Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, Search Party, Roadkill, Raised by Wolves, The Flight Attendant, The Eric Andre Show, Defending Jacob, The Outsider, Julie and the Phantoms, Brave New World, Utopia, Carmen Sandiego, Brockmire, Somebody Feed Phil, Adventure Time: Distant Lands, Dead to Me, The Gift, Ghosts, YOLO: Crystal Fantasy, The 100, The Spanish Princess, I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, Adult Material, Fargo, Deadwater Fell, The Flash, Archer, Weird But True, Evil, Motherland: Fort Salem, Baghdad Central

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jeremyknox · 7 years ago

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i was tagged in 3 tag games in the last day or so and instead of making 3 separate posts in which i tag much of the same people, i decided to consolidate. i love you all who tagged me.

uh....idk if i have anyone to tag? you guys kind of covered everyone i WOULD tag. i guess @flowerparrish, @colormekorrasami, @jordanetalaredead, @megayest, @twin-ace, @lakesandquarries, @peachy-shrimp, and @hotdamnlookatthispan.... if any of these look interesting, you should totally do them!

okay everything under the cuuuuut

tag game number one: tagged by the sweetest human, @carrie-frances

what’s your favourite song(s) to sing/hum? this is a tough one? currently i’ve been singing You by Keaton Henson a lot and also Ophelia by The Lumineers. Let Her Go by Passenger is another goodie for singing lately. Oh and Lost Boy!!!! by Ruth B.

what’s your favourite flower/tree/plant? I love nature wow. My favorite tree is definitely a Weeping Cherry Tree or Willow. My favorite flowers are sunflowers and roses! Plants in general, I just really love cacti? It’s a product of having family I adore in Arizona haha

what do you always doodle? hm... cats, mostly

how do you take your tea/coffee? With plenty of splenda and some milk

favourite candle scent? Vanilla, mostly. just sweet things

what perfume do you wear? body sprays from bath and bodyworks, usually vanilla or peach

what’s your go-to dance move when you’re alone? i have zero clue haha

favourite quote? i don’t know off of the top of my head! perhaps the one i have tattooed, from star wars. “luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.”

favourite self care routine? putting on good smelling lotions. reading a book. snuggling oliver. calling someone i love.

fuzzy socks or house slippers? both! but mostly fuzzy socks

what colour are your eyes? just plain ole brown

what’s your favourite eye colour on others? idk? i think blue or green but i adore brown eyes on everyone

favourite season? why? autumn, i like the colors and the clothes and the smells

cheek, neck or nose kisses? cheek! but the real MVP are forehead ones

what does your happy place look like? the beach but without all the people. or a quiet forest with light filtering in

favourite breed of dog? i’ve always loved boxers the most, and cavaliers

do you ever want to be married? if so, what colours would you pick for your wedding theme? yes, i think i do? i don’t know what colors, it’s always changing. i think it depends on the person i’m with because their input would matter. i’d want the colors to be whatever colors they think of when they see me and vice versa

cursive or print? it’s a solid mix but mostly print

favourite weather? raining and warm, but not thundering

tag game number two: tagged by the amazing @dancyon

— What was your last…

1. Drink: iced tea

2. Phone call: my aunt calling with some hard news

3. Text message: my aunt with an update

4. Song you listened to: love me by the 1975

5. Time you cried: yesterday and i’m gonna cry later today @ love, simon

6. Dated someone twice: yeah

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: for sure

8. Been cheated on: by two different people, apparently im easy to cheat on

9. Lost someone special: sadly, i’ve lost a few

10. Been depressed: lmao got that good good depression goblin

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: god yeah whoops sorry friends

— Fave colours

12. purple (any shade really)

13. blue (any shade really)

14. soft yellow

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: ahhhh!!!! yes i have ♥

16. Fallen out of love: hhhhhhhhhh

17. Laughed until you cried: probably

18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh yeah

19. Met someone who changed you: yeah, in more ways than one

20. Found out who your friends are: idk???? kinda yeah

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: uh i think i have my ex still

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: majority

23. Do you have any pets: my boy @ollycat and then my dogs and cats @ my parents house

24. Do you want to change your name: i actually did but now i’m back to my birthname bc being NB is one big ???? of what do i want

25. What did you do for your last birthday: oh shit well w my friends i got drunk on rum, dressed up like a pirate, and played d&d. and then fam was the usual cheesecake factory adventure

26. What time did you wake up today: uh around 8 something officially?

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i fell asleep before midnight? if not i was watching Critical Role

28. What is something you can’t wait for: my next tattoo!!

30. What are you listening to right now: just the sounds of my grandparents house

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I have an ex named Tom and a Grandpa named Tom

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: just like....everything about this breakup and stuff i guess

33. Most visited website: god uh...tumblr and twitter????

34. Hair colour: naturally a dark brown with some reddish in it. it’s currently died as close as possible to that

35. Long or short hair: medium?

36. Do you have a crush on someone: no currently i’m avoiding all romance like the fucking PLAGUE

37. What do you like about yourself: i’m pretty tenacious

38. Want any piercings: nah, i’m more the tattoo type

39. Blood type: ..............why

40. Nicknames: bird, birb, kbird, kbirb, broseidon

41. Relationship status: single

42. Sign: aries

43. Pronouns: they/them

44. Fave tv show: on air right now it’s b99 and the good place. in general, buffy and gilmore girls

45. Tattoos: i currently have 6 and i want sooooo many more

46. Right or left handed: left!!!!

47: Ever had surgery: tonsils and stomach yeah

48. Piercings: none

49. Sport: none currently but football (soccer) will always have my heart

50. Vacation: currently in arizona!! i’ve been all over though, i miss mexico a lot

51. Trainers: what does this....mean....like.....shoes???????

— More general

52. Eating: currently nothing?

53. Drinking: iced tea currently

54. I’m about to watch: LOVE, SIMON AGAIN BITCH!!!!!!!

55. Waiting for: life to feel right

56. Want: a nap, like always

57. Get married: okay your answer of “if i get past my commitment issues and find someone that loves me, sure” was fucking perfect

58. Career: teacher!

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: hugs

60. Lips or eyes: eyes

61. Shorter or taller: taller

62. Older or younger: older

63. Nice arms or stomach: arms

64. Hookup or relationships: relationship

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: nope

67. Drank hard liquor: hell yeah

68.Turned someone down: in high school yeah. and like once in college

69. Sex on first date: ........im an ace baby

70: Broken someone’s heart: supposedly

71. Had your heart broken: mhmmmm

72. Been arrested: nah, just brought home by cops

73. Cried when someone died: yeah, i cry at everything but especially death

74. Fallen for a friend: ..........only friends tbh

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: trying to? cullen says my heart’s vibranium

76. Miracles: some days i do

77. Love at first sight: probably not, i used to though

78. Santa Claus: not anymore

79. Angels: i’d like to

— Misc

80. Eye colour: brown!

81. Best friends name: i mean..... jenny, ellie, michelle, and cullen? plus like max and jor, of course

82. Favourite movie: i guess the princess bride is the Most Favorite of All

83. Favourite actor: my MAIN MAN, hugh jackman

84. Favourite cartoon: danny phantom right now

85. Favourite teacher’s name: in HS it was mrs haley and in college it was dr trainor....grad school so far it’s been jen lynady

final tag game: tagged by the cutest, @blurredmxnds

bold the statements that are true

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory (lmao about some things???)

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year (on and off)

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have at least 15 CDs (somewhere in my things)

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now (i JUST ended my thing w this)

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone (just a toe)

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages

I have made a new friend in the past year

#tag games #was uscjean #about the blogger

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basilfeather · 7 years ago

Text

Tagged by @athenahono

(this is actually really exciting)

1st rule: tag 9 people you want to get to know better.

um okay I don’t think I know 9 people who haven’t been tagged yet. @alaughingfreak @snowwolf5552 @twilitremlit @momma-jim-says-oi-fischfuck @monochromemedic @just-another-starfish

2nd rule: bold the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE

I am 5'7 or taller (5′7 exactly)

I wear glasses (since I was 9)

I have at least one tattoo (probably won’t get one)

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or had braces (it was an annoying two years)

PERSONALITY

I love meeting new people (not always)

People tell me I am funny (I ramble and apparently people laugh, so that’s good with me)

Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine(I’m quite the listener, so people will often come by and tell me what’s going on. Not the best at advice, but still. I try)

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I am playfully rude to people I know

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it (chill)

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY

I can sing well (kind of?? I hum a lot but that’s not really singing)

I can play an instrument (piano and percussionl)

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (pfft nope)

I am a fast runner (like a cheetah. Fast but only for a little bit.)

I can draw well (Yes I love art!! It’s almost all I do in my free time)

I have a good memory (for conversations. I memorize them and go back to them later. I know it’s strange but it’s really fun)

I am good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling

I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch (adulting? What’s that?)

I know how to throw a proper punch (7 years of karate.)

HOBBIES

I enjoy sports (no, competitive stuff is scary)

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else (I help out with music at my church)

I have learned a new song in the past week (yeah! Working on a song from that game called OneShot called Niko and the World Machine)

I exercise at least once a week (whoops)

I have gone for runs walks at least once a week in warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month (Drawn something in the past day, you mean)

I enjoy writing (yep! Written maybe 5 books??)

Fandoms are my #1 priority (tied with my characters)

I do some form of Martial arts (well I did.)

EXPERIENCES

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored a winning point in a sport (I was always a defender)

I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event (camps and retreats in the mountains!)

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country (I was in Canada for a day when I was 7 if that counts)

I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts

MY LIFE

I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend

I live relatively close to my school/work (school is at home so yeah)

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling (two half-siblings. never met them.)

I live in the United States (Arizona!)

There is snow where I live right now (i wish)

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I own at least 15 CDs

I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS

I am in a Relationship

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I’ve been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a Relationship (I’ve never actually had a crush on anyone. everyone thinks I’m lying when I tell them but it’s true.)

I have admitted my feelings to a crush

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush for over a year

I have been in a relationship for over a year

I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM

I have break-danced

I know a person named Jamie (this gardener! He’s very nice and I wish I knew more Spanish so i could actually have conversations with him)

I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce (homeschool, dears. Homeschool)

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to a song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week (I’m not brave enough XD)

I know someone who has gone to jail (my birthfather)

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do in life (art, something with animals)

I speak at least two languages

I have made a new friend in the past year

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katesloan · 7 years ago

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2017: the Year of Devastated Bravery

Time for my annual year-end survey! Been doing this one for well over a decade. Previously: 2012, the year of sex-positivity. 2013, the year of self-care. 2014, the year of turning over a new leaf, 2015, the year of foxy femme power, 2016, the year of the staunch heart.

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? Rang in the New Year at the home of a local sex-positive community leader with some of my closest pals, and was sent home with Alka-Seltzer tablets for the morning. Interviewed a bunch of matchmakers for a news feature (which sadly has yet to be published, boo). Started writing for Glamour, after their sex & relationships editor reached out to me via Twitter DM. Hired some rad babes to overhaul my blog design for me. Was hired by, and later fired from, two different sex shops (lolol). Had a sex-date in a creepy hotel room in Queens. Got spanked with a hanger rail from said hotel room’s closet. Performed in the Bed Post variety show a couple times. Started inviting guests onto our podcast (Cooper S. Beckett was the first one!). Missed my flight from New York to Toronto and had an anxiety breakdown in the airport. Got published on Teen Vogue. Had our first podcast sponsor. Started banging one of my coworkers (whoops). Did a photoshoot in a dungeon with a beautiful babe. Made out in a heated outdoor swimming pool at a sex club (uh, many times). Got intensely spanked over an acquaintance’s kitchen counter by three people working in tandem. Hooked up with a cute older British man who was visiting on business; he invited me to return to his hotel the following night and bought me sushi and wine on his company card (so fancy). Attended the launch party for a party game I was a staff writer on. Tried having sex with a penis extender. Had a surprisingly fantastic one-night stand with a guy who remembered me from when he was my waiter at a restaurant once. Went on a date with a polyamorous guy whose girlfriend listened to my podcast and told him to ask me out. Got paid to ghostwrite spanking erotica. Celebrated my five-year blogiversary. Went on a couple dates with a cute civil litigation lawyer who was an exceptionally good kisser. Got high with my best friend and did a livestreamed podcast. Was a bridesmaid in the wedding of two of my best friends. Topped my previous monthly income goals, again and again. Turned 25. Attended (and subsequently roasted) the Toronto International Porn Awards. Dated someone (for ~4 months!) who initially knew me from listening to my podcast. Had sex for like 5 hours on a first date. Learned to like some kink acts I’d previously found scary, like choking, face-slapping, and face-fucking. Was in a Daddy Dom/little girl relationship for a while. Attempted non-hierarchical polyamory. Reviewed a vibrating teddy bear. Started a part-time social media job at an adult-industry marketing firm. Took Reid Mihalko’s jealousy workshop. Took a freelance writing class from Alana Massey. Pegged someone. Got my wrists tattooed. Did a live podcast recording at a sex conference in front of friends and fans. Spanked a friend with a bible in a hotel room in Virginia. Got fucked in the ass with a glass dildo by a blogger friend while other blogger friends casually watched. Got a 4-handed erotic massage. Performed blowjob sonnets at a sex club. Went on a date with someone who turned out to be the best friend and roommate of someone I’d gone on a date with the previous month. Unexpectedly made out with/got slapped around by/got fingerbanged by a friend I’d known for over 10 years in an alley behind a restaurant. Moved out of my parents’ place and into an apartment! Had coffee with my editor at the Condé Nast building. Saw the McElroy brothers speak (and Lin-Manuel Miranda open for them) at a live podcast recording. Attended my high school reunion. Did tequila shots with my boss on my first day at a new job. Had an actual goddamn “sugar daddy,” briefly. Sold a sweaty T-shirt and socks to a fetishist. Went to a sex tradeshow with my fuckbuddy. Got spanked with a lightsaber. Slow-danced to a song about impregnation. Got accepted to speak at the Playground Conference. Received a strap-on blowjob from a pretty lady. Had two dates with two Twitter crushes in New York in one day (and then started dating both of them). Made out in a Breather. Did a knifeplay scene. Explored my domme side in earnest. Sexted from a TSA line. Went through NRE with two different people at once (a lot of crying ensued). Got hypnotized. FaceTimed with someone for 8 hours straight.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year I resolved to “make self-development and career development my top priorities, to make romantic/sexual decisions based on the maxim ‘quality over quantity,’ and to make more money.” I think doing the first two things is what enabled me to do the third thing (I earned twice as much money in 2017 as in 2016!) – focusing on love and sex only when it actually served me, and delighted me, freed up a lot of time and passionate energy for businessy pursuits. Next year I resolve to pitch more stories, travel more, further foster my friendships with femmes, write more helpful content, and save more money.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Not that I can recall.

4. Did anyone close to you die? My grandfather, Rex Loring.

5. What countries did you visit? Just the USA (New York in January, September, and December; Alexandria in August). Within Canada, I spent a fair bit of time in Hamilton but was otherwise in Toronto the whole year.

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? A specific goal for my savings. Some steps taken toward larger-scale writerly ambitions (like, perhaps, writing a book proposal and/or self-publishing an ebook). Maybe a long-term relationship of some description; I dunno, man.

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory? January 25th – missed my flight back from New York February 10th – met my current FWB (and then, February 13th, banged him for the first time) April 22nd – Eric and Ashley’s wedding April 25th – first date with G, at Tell Me Something Good May 9th/10th – some disastrous poly stuff happened with G June 1st – started at my current dayjob August 3rd-6th – Woodhull August 11th – the hardest breakup I’ve been through in many years September 1st – moving day (and Brent’s show at the Horseshoe) September 8th – live MBMBaM show + coffee with Cady at Condé Nast September 11th – BirthdayBruises November 14th – got fired + talked to Dick a bunch November 29th – Vagic Tricks workshop December 13th – first dates with Dick + my Sir

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Professionally: Made twice as much money as I made last year. My dayjob remained under 25% of my income, with the other 75% coming from my more creative and self-directed income streams. Had clips in two prominent Condé Nast publications (Teen Vogue online, and Glamour online and in print). Sold 27+ sponsored blog posts. Personally: Made it through a horrendous breakup without dying. Got better at setting boundaries within my friendships and relationships. Successfully prioritized relationships and friendships with people who treat me well and actually deserve to be in my life.

9. What was your biggest failure? Putting up with men who walked all over me. (I feel like this is a recurring motif in my life, and in the lives of most women and femmes, honestly…) I also got fired from two different jobs this year. In both cases, they were minimum-wage jobs I didn’t really care about, wasn't well-suited for, and didn’t actually need, but still...

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Not really. I had the flu in September and struggled with mental health stuff all year, particularly in January and August, but was mostly fine.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Several things: My bright turquoise Coach tote, which I carried with me on numerous trips, sex-dates, photoshoots, etc. An app called Piezo which I use all the time for Skype interviews/podcast thingz. My knee-high Frye engineer boots (swoon) and rainbow glitter Doc Martens (swooooon). The V10 brush from BH Cosmetics (sooo useful for my brows on a daily basis!). Two Tarina Tarantino heart necklaces. A new mirror for my new apartment. Several adorable H&M dresses. My turquoise Seven-Year Pen. Lots of knitwear. A new Kindle. Weed. A microwave.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? My best friend Bex, and my family. (Hell, Bex is family at this point.) My close and supportive buddies Sarah, Suz, Dan, Tynan, Taylor, and Steph. The 4 boys with whom I am romantically/sexually entangled right now (gems, all of ‘em!).

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? The boy who broke my heart, and lots of Men On The Internet. Same old.

14. Where did most of your money go? Other than boring answers like rent and transit? Food and drinks, probably. I was more gluttonous than materialistic this year. I also spent a good chunk o’ change on tickets to things: theatre, airfare, classes, concerts, comedy, live podcast recordings...

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Working with Glamour and Teen Vogue. The Adventure Zone and other McElroy content. Hitting income goals (seriously, I’m talking about money more often than boys in my journals recently, which is a FEAT). Hippo Campus and Nathan Stocker. Working on ye olde blog and podcast, as ever. Negotiating/exploring new kink stuff.

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2017? First and foremost, Hippo Campus’ album Landmark, which I thrashed for almost the entire year. Related: their Warm Glow EP, and anything from their guitarist Nathan Stocker’s solo project Brother Kenzie. Beyond that: Coin’s How Will You Know If You Never Try?, Pinegrove’s Cardinal (which I listened to pretty much on loop while recovering from my brutal breakup in August), Grouplove’s “Do You Love Someone?”, Vampire Weekend’s “Horchata,” Panama Wedding’s “Uma,” Bombay Bicycle Club’s “Cancel On Me,” Betti’s “Ordinary,” Saint Motel’s “Puzzle Pieces.”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder? Happier. My heart got thoroughly broken this year but I feel stronger and more self-sufficient for it. thinner or fatter? A bit thinner. Who cares. richer or poorer? Soooo much richer. Your girl made some goooood biz decisions this year.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Last year I wrote that I wished I’d gone on dates with more people, and woof, I sure met that goal in 2017. I went on 12 first dates, which is more than enough, thank you very much. I wish I’d spent more time chasing my creative impulses than my romantic or sexual ones. Although the latter kind of fueled the former for me, this year and every year.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Thinking “I can and will put up with this [bad behavior/uncomfortable circumstance/shitty job]” when I couldn’t and shouldn’t have. Being depressed, but hey, what can ya do.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Spent it exchanging presents and eating delicious meals with my family.

21. Who did you spend the most time talking to? Bex, Max, Brent, Sarah, my FWB, my two current long-distance beaux, and the dude who was my boyfriend for a bit.

22. Did you fall in love in 2017? Yeah, and I’m still pissed about it. Love is pain!! [tosses hair in the manner of a tortured goth]

23. How many one night stands in this last year? Two true one-night stands (defined as: we had sex the night we met, and never saw each other again), plus one additional person I had sex with only once but went on a second date with afterward.

24. What was your favourite TV programme? American Horror Story, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Bold Type.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I’m not thrilled with the guy who broke my heart, but I wouldn’t say that I hate him; that would involve more energy than I am willing or able to give to his memory at this juncture...

26. What was the best book you read? Fiction: I loved The Killer Wore Leather (Laura Antoniou’s murder-mystery set at a kink convention), Perfume: the Story of a Murderer (a truly haunting and viscerally olfactory novel by Patrick Suskind), and Sleeping Beauties (the creepy “what if every woman on earth fell asleep and wouldn’t wake up?” novel co-written by Stephen King and his son). Nonfiction: Laurie Mintz’s Becoming Cliterate was eye-opening, inspirational and fresh. Lisa A. Phillips’ Unrequited blew my fucking mind. I recently devoured Rachel Hills’ The Sex Myth and it’s wonderful.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? I listened to a bit of Pinegrove last year because Sean recommended them on his blog, but it wasn’t until this year that I really got into them. I started inexplicably craving their music after I got my heart broken and it made me feel weirdly better for weeks afterward.

28. What did you want and get? A boyfriend/partner/daddy dom (though it didn’t last very long). More money than I have ever made before. Career expansion. Closer friendships. An invitation to do a live podcast recording at a conference. An apartment, with a rad roommate. More confidence and self-sufficiency. Interesting kink adventures.

29. What did you want and not get? A romantic relationship that was actually and enduringly satisfying to me in the ways that most matter to me. I feel like I write some variation on this here every year. It’s okay. It’ll happen when it happens. Also, I wanted to do a writing retreat and that didn’t happen, though I’m blessed enough that I take little mini writing retreats of sorts all the time anyway.

30. What was your favourite film of this year? I think the only new ones I saw were Wonder Woman, The Big Sick, and It, none of which I really loved that much. It wasn’t a big film year for me.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 25. At midnight I was in bed in a hotel in Hamilton, having been in the wedding of two of my best friends the day previous. I had invited a gentleman friend to come romance me in my hotel that night but he was sick and had to cancel, so I just spent the night in a hot bath and then cozy in bed. The morning of my birthday, I checked out of the hotel and took a bus back to Toronto. That evening, Bex and I got dressed up fancy, went for dinner at the Black Bull Tavern, and attended the Toronto International Porn Festival awards gala, which was a hot mess.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? I can’t even think of anything. It was a satisfying year for me in many ways.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? Low-effort femme. Lots of cozy colorful sweaters, denim shorts, stompy boots, crop tops, big hair, and kneesocks.

34. What kept you sane? My friends, my family, therapy, journaling, sex/kink/masturbation, my work, quiet introvert self-dates at bars/diners/cafés, hot baths,

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Nathan Stocker, Andy Samberg, Mark Andrada, Dan McCoy...

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Civil rights stuff, same as always. Gender equality and sexual equality and racial equality and all the equalities, basically.

37. Who did you miss? The two New York boys I’m currently romancin’, and Bex, pretty much always. And my ex, for a time.

38. Who was the best new person you met? Jordan, Adam, Thane, Cady, Logan (and several other babely bloggers at Woodhull), Todd, Dick, Matt, Eva...

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. Even people who claim they will never hurt you can hurt you. That’s depressing, but it’s also somewhat Zen, because if you deeply, truly know that anyone can hurt you at any time, you come to enjoy the non-hurting parts so much more while they’re happening. Again, this sounds super tragic but I actually find it so liberating and uplifting when I think about it.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. “Menfolk, they need their women, but women don’t need their men.” -Nellie McKay, “Just a Pose” “Maybe I would’ve been something you’d be good at. Maybe you would’ve been something I’d be good at.” -Tegan and Sara, “Call It Off” “It’s cold outside this evening, but warm between your sheets. We both wanted something we’re not likely to repeat.” -Paul Cook & the Chronicles, “Ships Pass” “Someone to talk to late at night. Someone who fits you right… Someone who makes your heart go boom boom boom. Someone you see across a crowded room. Someone who makes your heart jolt. Not some okay girl. A real thunderbolt.” -Paul Cook & the Chronicles, “A Real Thunderbolt” (I could’ve quoted this entire song here, honestly)

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starsburnouttoo · 8 years ago

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boring tag

because of @kitkatdana

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? I close them, i’m OCD about all the doors in my room.

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? I probably have, honestly don’t remember.

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? I have a sheet too big for my bed so its wrapped around kinda weirdly and never comes undone. (life hack?)

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? No because what would I do with it? I mean, I’d hang up a stop sign on my bedroom door maybe but that might be too cliche?

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? I like to make small notes and I like to write things out in my notebook but post-it notes specifically? nah, not really.

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? I take the whole page and just rip out the coupon I end up using.

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? Big bear because it’s only one and I feel like they’d be easier to out run than a whole swarm of bees. Also at least with a bear it’s a quicker death, with a swarm of bees I’m not even sure i’d day.

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? Nope, I have a lot of moles/beauty marks though.

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? I do because I don’t want to look back at a photo and regret the facial expression I made -- it happens a lot surprisingly.

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? I... don’t know? I don’t like when I get blamed for stuff that isn’t my fault?

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? I don’t actually count but I think about how, like, “this room is only about 20 steps from mine.” and that sort of stuff.

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? No... I don’t go into the woods?

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? I literally do not go in the woods and the few times I have gone camping their were restrooms for this stuff.

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? All the timeeeee I can’t seem to be still, I’ll move from side to side a lot or bob my head or do that shoulder beat thing, ya feel?

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? So, I chew on those pen caps from those pens that are clear and only have a blue cap? they’re like hard plastic? I feel like they’re in the top 3 most used pens... but I like to chew on those caps specifically, other than that no.

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? Okay so literally slept with only one but like sex? hehe ;) I’m a virgin.

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? twin but that was because I have a bunk bed. i’m buying a queen soon :D

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? Song of the week... uhm... okay so “Trapdoor” by Twenty One Pilots is really good but also “I Hate U I Love U” by Gnash because mood.

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? Yes, honey do what makes you happy. You like the color? wear it. You want to make a point that men can wear pink? do it. You want to support breast cancer? love it. you just couldn’t find another shirt to go with your new jeans? you look so good! I love it, wear the hell out of pink.

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? Actively? No... I watch a lot of anime from time to time, though... which, ya know, animated cartoons are still animated cartoons. Toe-may-toe toe-mah-toe.

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? Least favorite? err I hate every scary movie to have ever existed but I also can’t find it in me to like anything from harry potter, star trek, star wars, lord of the rings.... those series.

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? my grandpa owns two mountains... I won’t say where... you never know if I’ll get treasure worth hiding, my guy.

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? tea, literally any kind of tea.

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? Ketchup, ranch, chick-fil-a sauce... yes.

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Alright so I’m weird and I really love potato salad, like, no joke, but there was potato salad in my dream last night? I like cereal a lot, its so good, but I would die for oatmeal creme pies... devilled eggs...

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? Okay any disney movie ever, but to specify I love Beauty and the beast, Mulan, Aladdin, Tangled, Frozen (I only saw it twice so it wasn’t killed for me, I genuinely like the characters), Anastasia.... yeah I like them all.

27. LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? Ugh okay so my last kiss was in 8th grade and yall know how those middle school relationships are all mistakes right? So yeah, it was this guy who was the pastors son at my church... his name is josh... he’s in college now... yeah. ew.

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? I went to the first meeting because my brother was going to the boy scouts meeting (he wanted to learn to use a pocket knife and tie cool knots) but the girls just sold cookies and i thought that was lame so... no.

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? I would strip but completely naked? Nah... do I get like a sheet to cover with or something?

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? Last week... I write thank you cards a lot (not that I give them out a lot because I feel like people would think I’m weird for thanking them for... like... i dunno... loving a similar band to me and having a nice conversation or something.)

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? No but all my brothers can so I don’t need to know... hopefully...

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? nope... because I’m learning to drive still.

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? uh... no. I haven’t learned how to drive in the time span between this question and the last one.

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? I really like subway because of their samiches. i couldn’t say any specifics because I like.... like, all sandwiches.

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? okay so breakfast tacos from Dans... oooooor cereal.... ooooooor breakfast tacos in general. oooooor Waffles from Jim’s because they put whipped cream, chocolate chips, chocolate drizzle, etc.

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? my bedtime is 9 but anytime after 6 pm works too... if its later than 10 I’m suicidal.

37. ARE YOU LAZY? If I’m determined to get something done I will do it, just leave me alone and I’ll do it. but if I really just don’t want to do something or don’t care... yes. i’m so so so so lazy.

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? Okay so one year, and keep in mind this is the most embarrassing costume i remember, I dressed up as a party rocker based on the song party rock anthem... because I was extremely crazy about that song when I was like.... 11.

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? I’m a dragon my guy. but like... hopefully a water dragon or ice dragon or earth dragon.. i don’t wanna be hot headed.

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? English.... and I passed Spanish....

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? I mean... I have none but my household has a ton and I like to take the Mens Health ones because none of my brothers want them and the cover guys are sooooo hot.

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? Legos by a long shot.

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? Nah.. I mean if its a morals thing fuck yeah but if its like... “should we go to chick-fil-a” I’d be like “I kinda want chinese” and the someone would say “but I want chicken” so I’d be like “okay”

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? Uh... you see.... I like the name Leno better than letterman but i dunno these people?

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? No dude... like... if I did it would be more ironically...

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? funny story but one time I thought I would die if I jumped off of the air vent that was outside my house... it’s like 3 feet tall... so yeah... anything above 3 feet scares me I guess. xD

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? does satan’s name resemble santa’s?

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? almost alwayyyyyys... if I don;t i’m thinking hard or just in general talking to myself.

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? Yes. Especially to the good songs. so... a lot.

50. EVER USED A GUN? Yes and i like pistols but the.... whats it called.... the force after you shoot a big gun that makes you jump back... yeah I don’t like that.

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? Okay so... no?

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? I think that certain musicals are borderline obsessive with songs that just don’t go well for a serious mood... like, they’re too cheesy and annoying to be a good romantic song... but a lot of musicals are really well put together too.

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? Ugh, yes. I have 3 separate families to visit okay? Literally there is over 50 people to shop for and that’s not including friends and I’m unemployed so yes. yes it is.

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? no.. I dunno what that is.

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? pie is so gross but I like the topping of pecan pie.

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? uhhhh I gotta list. here we go: chef, baker, singer, actress, model, pilot, therapist, vet, successful, talk show host, americas got talent judge (like... i reallllllllllly wanted to be a judge--- still do a looooooot but I have no fame so...)

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? nah but I make jokes about them being around a lot.

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? ALL THE TIME except its not exactly like a full on minute of deja vu its like a hand motion or a sign I saw on the wall or someone saying something that I swear I’ve heard before.

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? no but I did as a kid, especially when my mom bought the sour gummy ones.

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? no but I wear sandals and socks around the house a lot.

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? no but I own, like, 2.

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? a t-shirts with literally anything ranging from jeans to leggings to yoga pants... etc.

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? One Direction on September 21st, 2014 in Houston.... the arena was huge... a million girls and I got sick during the last song... whoops.

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? target....?

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? I wear so much nike stuff because its so comfortable but adidas shirts and jackets look hella comfortable.

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? cheetos my main dude. I had an on going joke with my little brother once when we were at a concession stand and I couldn’t see what was there and he was tall so he read to me, “cheetos... fritos... doritos... and sunchips” and we died laughing because of all the rhyming.

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? I like the taste of sunflower seeds better but they’re so time consuming to open with so little food as a result that peanuts are just easier.

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? Nah my guy. How about Three Days Grace? xD

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? No but my spanish teacher had us learn a hispanic culture dance for one of our final projects. I had the cumbia.

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? I don’t care as long as they’re enjoying what they do.

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? like... taco? cause yeah?

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? Okay so uhhh no but I went to this education festival thing and they had a spelling bee booth and I spelled the word they gave me wrong but I still won a reallllly nice notebook (as a writer I really do mean that) and it was the first notebook I ever filled up. (it lasted from march 8th, 2016 to November 11th, 2016.)

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? Uh.... maybe? I dunno?

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? No but they sound cool.

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? I have literally no idea whats in my garage. I doubt it.

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? Yes... I have like 20 in my room and I burn one every few days... or a candle...

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yeah.... yea...... uhhhh.... yeah.

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? Twenty One Pilots, again, tbh, gnash, NF, and i’m sure there will be more in the future.

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? Troye Sivan on October 24th, 2016.

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? uhhhhh all tea, don’t discriminate.

81. TEA OR COFFEE? both... but like tea.... is more appealing.

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? sugar cookies all the way.

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? i know how to swim.

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? yeah

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? sometimes. if its something I wanna do then nah... but if its like... waiting for a friend to do something yeah.

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? DJ... (I forgot to add this to the job list but I wanted to be a DJ once... and a break dancer once.)

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? I got 2nd place in an 80′s themed costume dance contest...??? I dunno.

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? yeah but it was to smooth out a few scars.

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? olives can burn in hell.

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? ahhhhhh I wish no.

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? any room that gets cold???

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? only if my partner does but me??? yes.... yeah I’d loooooove to be able to call someone my partner for life and just have that assurance that they actually want to be with me...

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? never... yet...

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? she actually might see this somehow so i won’t say the current one but I liked this girl name Olivia all through middle school until 9th grade... so you know?

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? Playfully? dramatically? but never seriously.

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? so I have 2, one is named Pikachu and one is named Bruce Banner... or Willis... or Wayne.. whatever you want for Bruce.... they’re small.... and precious... and chihuahuas.

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? I don’t want to give birth, I want a ton of kids though so... well see?

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? I like maroon... and purple... and blue... and black.... silver... white.... yeah.

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? nah.... not really.

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS VIDEO NEXT? its not even a video but uhhh @sweatersnshades @depressedtopramen @guacnroll @ashlapash579 @sleeping--light @beverlynotcleary @pups-art @stark-nakedness because all of yall are my fave accounts and some of the coolest people I’ve got to see.... yeah :D

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beerlovinggemini-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Starting Over

I suppose since I’m starting a new tumblr page I should introduce myself...

My name is Brittany. I’m 28 years old and I live in a little podunk town in Indiana. I am a bonus mom to two incredible little girls. My heart belongs to their father, Tim, who undoubtedly is my soul mate (1,000,000%). I’m a beer loving Gemini who likes concerts, Chicago Cubs baseball, and video games. I love all food and summer is my favorite season. I absolutely LOVE making people laugh and I’ve got a handful of tattoos displayed on various parts of my body that mean the world to me. I love expressing myself through words so, if I’m happy, sad, mad, scared, nervous, etc. you’ll read about it here. So follow my daily posts if you choose. I can’t guarantee you’ll like them but maybe they’ll help you out in some weird indirect way.

If I have to be honest... this blog is going to contain a lot of lovey-dovey posts regarding my man so, if that isn’t something you want to consistently read about then I suggest moving on elsewhere. I love being in love and I love sharing with the world how in love I am. Especially because I never thought I’d find my “prince charming.” Turns out he’s really just a good ole’ country boy who raises chickens, fixes everything on his own, cans his own food & preserves, and drives a truck. Did I mention he has a beard and he’s sexy as all get out? Oh! And he has tattoos...

Wait.. oops... sorry, had to wipe up my drool.

So anyway, I’m about to bust out with story time right meow so get your snacks and drinks because it’s gonna take me a little bit...

Alright, so, I always believed that at the age I’m at now I would be married, possibly starting my own family, and living in the stereotypical all American white picket fenced house. Boy was I wrong. I fell in love for the first time when I was in the 8th grade. I thought for sure we’d be together forever. We dated for a year before our relationship came to an unexpected end. By that I mean, my Grandma (she raised me) told me we couldn’t be together anymore because she found out I lost my virginity to him. Whoops! That relationship is still up in the air as to whether or not it would’ve lasted. I’m glad it didn’t but I’m still curious to know how long we would’ve been together had it not ended prematurely. Then I dated one guy from 10th grade until we graduated college. I also thought we’d be together forever but as we got older we just changed into two completely different people who wanted different things out of life. He wanted to live the city lifestyle and move away from family and friends to pursue his career in accounting. I cherish family and friends more than anything so that was my first sign that we probably wouldn’t last. Sure enough, I broke up with him and moved back home while he found someone new, got married, and moved to Indianapolis.

Okay... so serious relationship #1 & #2 were epic fails. But you live and you learn, right?

On to relationship #3 --- This one was unexpected. That was a good thing because one piece of advice my grandmother always gave me was to never go looking for a relationship. She would always say that the good ones would come to me. The fact that I unexpectedly met him in a bar may or may not have been a sign that our relationship wouldn’t last forever either but hey, a lot of good people hang out in bars so I went with it. Actually, looking back on the whole scenario leading up to us dating, it all should’ve tipped me off but whatever, it is what it is. Again, I met future BF #3 in a bar. I was standing at the bar ordering shots with a friend and excitedly telling him about a concert I was going to the next night. There was either a live band playing in the bar that night or the music was just really loud. Either way, I was talking louder than normal so my friend could hear me. Future BF #3 was already drunk at this point and apparently didn’t like how loud I was being so, as politely as he could, he told me to “shut the fuck up because I can’t hear myself think.” CLASSY! I should’ve poured my drink on his head right then and there but I was poor then and I couldn’t afford to waste my drink... that I couldn’t afford, haha! I gave him a look and proceeded to walk away when I felt a death grip around my right arm. It was so strong the momentum of me walking the opposite direction made me spin around only to face the same idiot who, 30 seconds prior, gracefully told me to shut my trap. He began drunkenly apologizing and for whatever reason I let it slide. I’m not sure if it was because of his blue eyes, his beard, or his rugged good looks in general but something about him calmed me despite how rude he previously was. He bought me a drink and we talked for the rest of the night until he went home. The buffoon wasn’t even going to ask me for my number until I offered it. THEN, he didn’t even contact me for almost three weeks after the fact. If that wasn’t the second red flag I don’t know what was. To make an already long story shorter, we dated for 4.5 years. We moved in together after year one and he proposed to me on May 12, 2017. Our wedding was set for June 9th, 2018 but it never happened. Why? Because he was heartless. OR his heart was sooooo buried within him that it was impossible for him to express emotions or show any form of affection whatsoever. Anyone who knows me knows I’m a very lovable person. I love telling people I love them. I love hearing people tell me they love me. I love kissing and hugging and holding hands. I love small romantic gestures like random love notes and just because flowers. Typical woman shit. BF #3 DID NONE OF THESE THINGS. He never told me he loved me unless I said it first. He hated holding hands. It took years before he’d kiss me in front of his friends and family and even then he acted like it caused him physical pain whenever it happened. It got so bad that towards the end, in the comfort of our own private home, he would turn his head away when I’d lean in to kiss him. He actually had the nerve to ask me one time why I like kissing so much. SERIOUSLY? Being engaged to marry this man, I had some serious self-exploring to do. Could I live with that for the rest of my life? Definitely not. And it wasn’t like I just up and left him. Over the period of our relationship, I had expressed my sadness with him many times. He had plenty of opportunity to try harder... if he really loved me. He claimed he did yet it never bothered him how sad I was. If I cried about anything he would make me feel stupid for it. Sometimes, just to spend time with him, I go out into the garage when he’d be working on something. In an effort to try and learn about the things he was interested in I’d ask him to teach me about engines or whatever it was he was working on. Instead of it being an actual learning experience, it always turned out to be him belittling me because things he thought I should already know (as if they were common sense) I didn’t know and that would just wear his patience thin. Not that it wasn’t thin already. Someone who loves you just doesn’t do that to you. I was constantly walking around him as if I were on eggshells because I never wanted to upset him, or make him say things to me that would make me hate myself or feel terrible about myself. My self-esteem was at an all time low with him. Finally, one day, I woke up. I told him I wasn’t happy anymore and I wanted to go stay with my grandma for a little while to think about things. In that process, I started a new job. At that new job is where I met future boyfriend #4... aka: soul mate.

Soooo... I’d be lying if I said BF#4 didn’t help get me over the final hurdle of officially breaking it off with BF #3. He was going through marital problems himself and at first we relied on one another to vent. We kind of were going through the same thing so it was nice to have someone to talk to when it seemed like there was no one else. It didn’t hurt that he was gorgeous either ;) After a little bit of time it was plain to see that there was something special between us. He made me feel like no other man in my life had ever made me feel. We genuinely belly laughed together. We genuinely cared about the others feelings and where abouts. He looked at me like I had never been looked at before. And his eyes had such a kindness to them. It was hard not to fall in love with his eyes. We quickly realized that we were falling for each other and we had to decide if we really wanted to start a relationship together or not. At one point in time he tried ending whatever we were thinking maybe his marriage had one last thread of hope for lasting. Needless to say, I woke up 8 hours later with messages on my phone from him so even he couldn’t deny that there was an unbreakable bond between the two of us. At that moment we decided to take a leap of faith with one another. I told BF #3 it was officially over and future BF #4′s (then) wife moved out and filed for divorce. I think about six weeks later BF #4 gave me a house key and asked me to move in. He told me he loved me first about two weeks before that. To an outsider, our relationship moved at lightening speed and I’d be lying again if I said we didn’t think it was moving quickly ourselves but we weren’t scared of it. We took it on full force and have been moving along with it ever since. He is 3000% opposite of BF #3. He holds my hand EVERYWHERE. He wraps his arms around me while I’m standing at the sink washing dishes or cook dinner at the stove. He makes me coffee every morning while I’m getting ready for work. He bought me Old Style when baseball season started because he knew it was a personal tradition of mine to drink one while watching the Chicago Cubs home opening game. He pays attention to little details, like when I run out of my favorite wine/beer because he’ll buy me more every time. He tells me he loves me every day, multiple times a day. He also throws in daily compliments about how beautiful I am or how happy I make him. He never denies my kisses. Sometimes I think I don’t give him enough of them because we kiss so often. He texts me in the middle of the day to ask me how everything is going. He kisses my forehead. He does things with me even if it may not be something he’s totally into. He laughs with me. He believes in me. He makes me want to be a better woman. He’s made me the mother I always wanted to be. Maybe not the traditional way but that’s completely okay with me. He inspires me. He motivates me. He dances with me in the kitchen while he’s making me dinner (which he does almost every night). He helps me with household chores. He teaches me new things WITHOUT belittling me and making me feel stupid. He’s patient with me. He helps me and I help him. We are a perfect team. When/If we disagree we talk it out. We don’t throw fits and go days without speaking. He recognized that communication wasn’t his strong suit in his last relationship and he’s made it a point to focus on that skill with me and I’d say he’s phenomenal about it. We never go to bed mad at one another, that’s for sure. We joke together. We simply have fun together. He’s the hardest working man I know. He’s smart, funny, caring, loyal, trustworthy, and so on... there are millions of ways to describe him. Overall, he’s nothing short of amazing. I ask myself every morning when I wake up what I did to deserve him.

Deep down I always knew I deserved a love like this. The last relationship I was in slightly blinded me of that but I was able to find my way back and I was lucky enough to meet the man who I undoubtedly, with my whole heart call my soul mate. It’s been a short but exciting road with him so far and like they say, “when you know, you just know.”

I definitely know.

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krysrawfiggs · 8 years ago

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1-154

1.Full name:Krysten Alexandra Figueroa but you will reffer to me as Krysfiggs

2.Zodiac sign:Im a cusp baby born as the day changed. I am a leo/virgo

3. 3 Fears:Spiders, being alone forever, my fam disowning me for being gay

4. 3 things I love:Being surrounded by awesome people, video games, outdoor activities

5. 4 turns ons:Firey passion, neck biting, n eyes.. its always the eyes, n intelligence

6.4 turns offs: Lack of intelligence, if youre rude in general, if youre clingy, lack of understanding n compassion

7. My best friend:I have a coupleNadia, amanda, n bree (when shes not being an idiot)

8. Sexual orientation:Lezzzzzzzzbbbbiiiiannnnnnnnn

9. My best first date:So far going out into town in the middle of a rainstorm running dancing n dickin round and then showing up soaked n eating at friendlys

10. How tall am I:Im 5'5"11. What do I missNot paying bills

12. What time were I born:12am on the dot

13. Favourite colour:I like deep colors. I used to say deep blue but i do love red n grey too

14.Do I have a crushXD maybe! Ok yea. I do. But i aint tell you.

15. Favourite quoteGod theres too many…

16.Favourite placePuerto rico

17. Favourite foodGawd this is hard ok. I have the soul of a very very fat man. If i had to pick one thing…itd have to be my moms pernil (pork shoulder)

18. Do I use sarcasmNever im a sweetheart😆

19. What am I listening to right nowEvie- last dinosaurs

20.First thing I notice in new personEyesss…eyess…eyess…….!

21.Shoe size822. Eye colourBrown anytime of dayGold in the sun

23.Hair colourBlack as the normBrownish in the sunlightBlue when its overcast

24.Favourite style of clothingandrogynous 25. Ever done a prank call?Yup i bothered the fuck outta kymmie for months before i gave myself up xD

26.What colour of underwear I’m wearing now? Burgandy See thru lace

27. Meaning behind my URLWelp minus the word raw its just my name. If my father didnt delete my 1st blog and of someone in asia didnt take my old username right after it wouldnt be as stupid.

28. Favourite movieToo many brahhh

29. Favourite song

30.Favourite bandBloc party, last dinosaurs, split milk society

31.How I feel right nowHorngry n lonely. Lusting for warm weather and beach weather

32.Someone I love.In what context?

33.My current relationship statusSingle af

34.My relationship with my parentsCurrently ok..

35. Favourite holiday Hmm i dont have one

36.Tattoos and piercings?I have average ear piercings But i want a lip ring n a tatoo of leo n virgo fighting inside of the sun ony shoulder

37.Tattoos and piercing i wantWhoops jumped the gun. Please refer to 36

38.The reason I joined TumblrMy friends at the time

39.Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nope we’re cool

40. Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?I used too from my so. But now its just my good friend manny

41.Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Hmmm no

42. When did I last hold hands?Non romantically:I held hands with my lil sister cuz she doesnt know how to cross a freggin road without getting hit by a car! But romantically: its been over a year and a half.

43. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 10mins

44.Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?Its been a good 6/7 months. Im at man status rn

45.Where am I right now? Trapped on a bus with zombies from nyc somewhere on the way to newburgh

46.If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? In oswego it would be chance. Here.. idk it hasnt happend.. but my best bet would be nadia

47.Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Both. Depends where i am

48.Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Yes. Please dont ask how its going. Its not well.

49.Am I excited for anything?Yes. The 3 day weekend

50.Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?No i only have 2 chill male friends

51.How often do I wear a fake smile?Often enough

52.When was the last time I hugged someone?That would be last sunday i hugged holly. We went for a movie and a bite n caught up since inhavent seen her in 5ever

53.What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?Its w/e as long as you happy n your not like eating face

54.Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?Yea

55.What is something I disliked about today?Evelyn being passive agressive towards me. Makes me uncomf. But i could care less.

56.If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Rebecca sugar

57. What do I think about most? Its gonna be one of 3 things, women, video games, food

58. What’s my strangest talent?I can get really creepy really fast. Iv been told to try out to be villians or serial killers in movies

59.Do I have any strange phobias?Spiders

60.Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Both

61. What was the last lie I told?

62.Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?Im old skool ill show up at your house ;) jk phone so no one can see this akward mess

63.Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Yes

64.Do I believe in magic?Yes

65. Do I believe in luck? Yes

66.What’s the weather like right now? Bloody cold

67. What was the last book I’ve read? Allegiant

68. Do I like the smell of gasoline?Addicted

69. Do I have any nicknames?Krys, elmo, jesus

70. What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I have 12 stiches on my thumb both for cuts by blades oh n the one time i was going down a mt. On my longboard n i fell and got the worst road rash on my ass.

71. Do I spend money or save it?Both

72. Can I touch my nose with a tongue?No

73. Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? Idts?

74.Favourite animal?Otter

75. What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Hehhhh better not say

76. What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Idfk

77.What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Anything fr the last dinosaurs

78. How can you win my heart? Compassion understanding and a drive no one else has.

79.What would I want to be written on my tombstone?Im not gonna be burried.

80. What is my favourite wordOogle

81. My top 5 blogs on tumblr Ill answer later

82.If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

83.Do I have any relatives in jail?Yes

84.I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Speed

85.What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Feelings are a tough subject

86. What is my current desktop picture? An image from second son

87. Had sex?Why yes i have

88.Bought condoms?Nopes

89.Gotten pregnant? Nopes too gay for that shit90. Failed a class?Several

91. Kissed a boy? Yep im not a gold star lezzy no more

92. Kissed a girl? Many

93.Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?Yes. Im super cheesey i do things like that all the time

94.Had job?I have a job95.Left the house without my wallet?Keys and liecensexD

96. Bullied someone on the internet? Nope

97.Had sex in public? Yes

98. Played on a sports team? Several

99. Smoked weed? Yasss

100. Did drugs? Ive tried some shit

101. Smoked cigarettes? Never now thats nasty

102. Drank alcohol? Yes

103. Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Never

104. Been overweight?yes

105. Been underweight?yes

106. Been to a wedding?yes

107. Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Days

108. Watched TV for 5 hours straight? When i was younger

109. Been outside my home country?yes

110. Gotten my heart broken? Many times

111.Been to a professional sports game? Yes

112. Broken a bone? Do Teeth count?

113. Cut myself? Not on purpose

114. Been to prom? Unfortunaly. Thats an akward story. If i didnt go i coulda stayed in puerto rico longer. But nooo joe had to ask my parents…

115. Been in airplane? Yes

116. Fly by helicopter? No. But ive been in some heavy duty military air craft

117. What concerts have I been to?Walk the moon, in hs i saw i see stars mega concert there were like 20 bands there idr them all, versaemerge, dragonforce

118.Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Yeaaa im megagay

119.Learned another language?I can fully understand spanish. But i cant speak it.

120. Wore make up? Im alergic to eyeliner xD

121.Lost my virginity before I was 18?Yes

123. Had oral sex? Yes.😍

124.Dyed my hair?Ive never dyed my hair

125.Voted in a presidential election? Yes both times for obama♡ . n fuck you, you lil orange dicked cheeto (donald trump)

126.Rode in an ambulance?Yes i did when i sliced my thumb deep with an exacto and was bleeding everywhere

127. Had a surgery?No

128. Met someone famous? Yes i have i met that guy from “what would you do” when i was staying in maryland. Also i stick around after theater shows and concerts to meet the actors, performers, and musicians

129.Stalked someone on a social network?Guilty

130. Peed outside?Um who hasnt?

131. Been fishing?Yes. Anyone wanna join me this spring?

132. Helped with charity? Yea every 3 weeks i participate in a soup kitched in poukipsee with my siblings and my cousins.

133. Been rejected by a crush?I have unfortunate luck.

134. Broken a mirror? Haha yea i did once

135. What do I want for birthday? Id love to go somewhere amazing and warm with awesome people. If im dating someone id love to actually have a birthday kiss. #neverhadoneonmybirthday

136.How many kids do I want and what will be their names?By kids you mean dogs? N id have all of them. Theyd have really crude/harsh spanish names.

137.Was I named after anyone?No but krysten means follower of chridtXD

138.Do I like my handwriting? Sometimes

139. What was my favourite toy as a child? Why it was my stuffy scooby doo

140.Favourite Tv Show? Gawd theres so many. But steven universe👌🖒

141.Where do I want to live when older?Puerto rico when i hit the lotto

143. Play any musical instrument? I can play the trumpet, the recorder, basic drum beat, and im learning the uke

144.One of my scars, how did I get it?Sliced my thumb with a woodcutter one year. Then the next year same thumb with a brand new exacto. Landed me in the hosp 2ice total 12 stiches

145.Favourite pizza toping? Extra cheese

146.Am I afraid of the dark? Sometimes. Im more worried bout the it under the bed that comes out when you dont have sheets on.

147.Am I afraid of heights?No. In my stage craft class i was the only one who wasnt scared of heights they sent me high up to work on stuff they also sent me 60ft up to the grid too 😎

148.Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?Yes and i had my ass handed to me on a silver platter several times.

149.Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Yes. All the time.

150.What I’m really bad atBeing social. Talking to girls. Drawing.

151.What my greatest achievements are. Being the first to graduate college.

152.The meanest thing somebody has ever said to meYou should see the list of stuff my parents have told me since i was little. Its a little too awful to put on here.

153.What I’d do if I won in a lottery. Top secret Plans back the fuck up

154. What do I like about myself Um my bed head. Idk

155.My closest Tumblr friend Haha nadia

156.Something I fantasise about my exTisk tisk ladies n gents we shouldnt be reopening wounds like this. *points finger n shakes it like a noodle*

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