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instarsandcrime · 6 months ago

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Overworked and Under-managed

I've noticed that stress seems to be catching, so I thought I'd go for some silly, goofy fluff with a bit of feelings at the end! Also soft Caretaker!A/la/stor because I need more practice with him and that kind of angle. And Sick!Lu/ci/fer in denial because I miss writing him. This is a little further in the series in a universe where they do start to trust each other more despite their rivalry, so it does border a bit on Ra//dio//Apple. But as always, it can also be seen as platonic!

This is also part of Sick//tember//2024's prompt The Sniffles™️, but I've decided to not submit the prompts. However, I'm still technically participating in the challenge, and will try to finish everything by September!

Enjoy! 🩷

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"Hm. Well. That’s not ideal."

Alastor stood there at the center of the hotel library, blanching at the sight before him. He reviewed yesterday’s events in his mind over and over like a checklist, wondering what went wrong. He was sure he'd left Lucifer with only a few meaningless contracts– not that he would let a simple sinner, much less The Radio Demon, touch the important ones. So he'd sent himself to bed and back again with the usual hourly morning routine. Cleanliness is next to godliness, ironic as the saying may be.

So if Lucifer was the closest thing to divine power, then what the fuck was he looking at?

The fallen seraphim was practically passed out. And judging by the grooves in his seat he had apparently never left it, asleep or otherwise. His hat had tumbled to the floor by his cane, revealing a bird’s nest of hair. Despite his current state his eyes sported rather ugly eye bags, colored bruises striking against grayish, clammy skin. The center of his flat, snake-like nose was raw from rubbing– and horribly clogged by the rumbling snores that filled the room. His clothes were rumpled in all directions, vest buttons completely mismatched in what seemed like a rush to look even slightly presentable. All this chaos amongst piles of paperwork that seemingly appeared overnight. “Your Highness?” He called.

No response. Alastor risked stepping closer. “Your Highness.”

The idiot only responded with a louder snore. A crimson eye twitched. With all the pomp and circumstance of a man who could care less, he took his cane and swiftly whacked the side of the desk. “Lucifer!”

And in a white and red blur the fallen king snapped upright, sending little bits and bobs of stationary in all different directions. “I’m awake!”

“So you are.” Alastor said slowly, narrowing his eyes.

“Aw c’mon Al, don’t be so uptight!” Lucifer bent backwards to crack his spine back into place. “Seventy-two hours isn’t much for an immortal guy like me– oh, thank you.”

The sinner raised an eyebrow, completely unimpressed as his apparent superior snatched the folder from under the other’s arm like mindless clockwork, pausing to search for a possible sliver of space left to put it on.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I-hhh-I’m-hihh!” His breath caved to small hiccups, and quickly snatched a folded handkerchief from his pocket as he pitched forward into it. "Ikshhh’hieww!!"

“Clearly in need of a break.” Alastor finished.

“Pfft! Me? Take a break? Nooooo no no nononono! Don't be sihh-hih-! silly– Ikt'chieww! 'ITSHHH! ‘TSHHH! hhHHH-! H’TSCHHH’HIEW!” He blinked back irritated tears as a puff of gold smoke filled the air. And to his dismay, he found that the crimson fabric in his hands had turned from red to a bright yellow. "Snff! Oh– hih! Oh, dear-- ‘TSCHHHEW!"

“I must say,”

“Ht'schhhh! Hhhih-HITSCHHH'hew!”

“I believe I may have assumed too quickly. If something’s bothering you this terribly, you're certainly not fit in any way, shape, or form to continue.” Alastor bit back a wince at a nose blow that did nothing to stop the unrelenting fits. Watching the rosy blush of his cheeks grow stripes, spots, hearts, and back again.

“I'b ndot-- h-hih-hekt'tschieww! I'm pehh-perfectlyyyYYISHHH'hew! I've just got a...a bit of a...het'TSHHH’HIEW! HETSCHHHIEW! Snff snfff! Ughh, b-bit of a tickle.”

Alastor rolled his eyes as he picked up a newly crafted bouquet of venus fly traps– hurriedly held at arm’s length when their heads grew large, snapping wildly at the air.

"Hm! How strange. I don't believe I've ever seen your powers act up like this. Or at the very least flare up when it’s just ‘a bit of a tickle’.” He countered, dropping the abomination into the black abyss of his shadow. “Perhaps it only happens when you overwork yourself--"

"No!" Lucifer yelped. Then froze, slapping his hands over his mouth. Carefully, cautiously he stood, taking one step back. Then another, inching for the exit. "That's-- ha! Y-you're imagining things. Besides, I can’t stop now! There’s so much I need to do! So much to-to catch up on, you know? There's the architecture of Hell that needs some restructuring. And yes the Overlords can run their own di-districts, but I definitely need to start– snff! start accepting their invitations to meetings! Oh, and all that missed bureaucratic shit and wow my new room is a mess so the least I can do i-ihhhs-! …HET'KSHIEWW! ‘KSHHH! ET'SHHH! Guhhh...helb. Sdnff!"

Before he could take another step, slender fingers locked on his wrist. Tugged back with a twirl until they were back to front The Radio Demon firmly grabbed his shoulders, clawed tips nearly digging into his skin before his prey could escape.

“Mmm no, I don't think you will.” He decided. “You, my dear, will remain in my sights for the rest of the evening. You are a ticking time bomb after all, and it would be a stain on my flawless reputation to sit back and watch my hotel turn into a child's plaything.”

Somehow, by sheer miracle, Lucifer paled further. Mahogany shelves turned to pink pastel plastics, lined with faux books that touted fused pages. Elegant wallpaper patterns turned to simple swirling decals lined with glitter. He sheepishly waved the curse away with the snap of his fingers, throwing his hands up in defeat.

”Fide, fide! So I’ve got a tiny case of the s’diffles. But I swear idt’s just a liddle glidtch, it won’t h-hahh..!” Panicking, he pinched his nose and held his breath. The all-powerful Overlord himself took a step back, both heaving a sigh of relief when it passed. “Nghhh...habbed again. I've got— snrff! eeeverythi’g under codtrol."

Worsening, Lucifer cleared his sinuses with another honking blow. Looking up from fluttering fabric to find his unwanted caretaker glancing him up and down.

“...What?”

“Hm?”

“What's with that look?”

“I'm afraid I don't follow.”

“That! That right there!” Lucifer huffed, poking at Alastor's chest, “That 'I'm scheming' face!”

“Oh? Can I not scheme in your general vicinity?” The other poked back square between the eyes, watching the demon king stumble backwards with some satisfaction. “If you're so jealous of those who have thoughts in their heads, why don't you spend some time with your royal psychologist instead of bothering me?”

“Ugh! You're so...s-so…!” Lucifer's snarl wobbled at the seams. His breath hitched again, and he couldn't help but groan in frustration as he hovered his handkerchief nearby with one hand, fanning his face with another. "Chhh! ‘Tchh! Ht‘Chnx! Het’CHNX’iew! Oh– hnkt! Oh n’do– hEH’CHNXT!”

Stifling was clearly a useless solution as well, stomach dropping as he felt the telltale wind of his wings snapping open. And, to his further dismay, only made the tickle stronger.

"Ndothi’g’s whh-worki’g! I cahh- ca’dt– hhhHH-!" Suddenly, the familiar soft fabric of his was pressed to his face, and he looked up and past it to find Alastor staring him dead in the eye.

"I won't let anything happen." Alastor's permission was somehow all his body needed to hear before it finally let go.

"H-hehhh…! HEH’TSHHH! HET’SHHH! HEKT’CHHH! ‘TCHHH! ‘TCHH! HEH’TCHHHHF! hhhHHH–! HETCH’TSHHHIEW! Ohhh..." Lucifer felt an icy shudder crawl up his exhausted body and leaned against his cane for balance, taking the momentary relief of the stubborn itch to tuck in his wings. “Is everything...”

“Yes. We were lucky. A few books fell this time, nothing more.” Despite the barrier he raised in the kitchen. He pulled back the well-soaked handkerchief, pulling a horrified face as he dropped it once again into the void. “You, on the other hand, are a mess.”

“But I'm—”

“Trembling.” Alastor's cane thumped sharply against the carpet, and Lucifer winced as the other finally put his proverbial foot down. “You know, it's quite unbecoming of a king to be dishonest with his subjects, even for the Father of Lies.”

Lucifer felt a hand on his back, and it nearly chased away the sudden chill when the radio static he'd heard for so long lulled. And to his shock, a very human voice broke through the illusion of a monster.

“The truth this time, Your Majesty. How do you feel?” Alastor urged gently.

“I-I. Uhh.”

How…how does he even argue with…

“I just told you I…I feel fi-!” Lucifer blinked in surprise as the two words he usually repeated like a mantra suddenly caught in his aching throat, pressing a hand to his chest. "'Scuse me, heh! Don't know what happened there. I said I feel...I-I feel..."

He opened his mouth a second time, and the last of his pride finally, finally crumbled to nothing.

“...awful.” He moaned, “God, so fucking awful! My-- snfff-- my head hurts! I'm freezing and sweating at the same time! Everythihhh...everythi'g aches! Mby ndose is– Et'shh'hiew! 'Tshhiew! Guhhh...rudd’ig like crazy. I ca’dt sto--...stohhhp...stop snehhhh...hih! Het'SHHHH'HIU! Sn-sneezihhhHHET'SHHHH! HET'SHHHH! HET'SHHH'HEW! Ughhh, I ca’dt even gedd the word out!" Fat droplets lined the corners of his eyes, "For Heaven's sake, now I'b clogged! A-a'd I feel like cryi'gg! Why do I feel like cryi'gg?!”

He could feel himself be guided from the desk, Alastor making a sympathetic noise.

“And there we have it.” Alastor’s radio filter returned, and yet he himself was surprised to find every word was laced with something soft. So, he decided to use the opportunity given to him. He was sure he could use this sudden development to his advantage...somehow. But for the moment he felt Lucifer start to shiver again, wobbling dangerously at his side. Chills, Alastor noted. Writhing tentacles pulled up a chair for his patient to sit, handing his spare handkerchief for the ailing demon to clean himself up.

“Ugh, tha-that was embarrassing. I d-don't know wh-what came over me.” Lucifer chattered out, body rocking with another violent shudder.

“Certainly not the sniffles with such a terrible fever. Why, it only took a single poke to the forehead and I nearly burned myself!"

Lucifer scowled.

"Don’t be so dramatic! We both know that you wouldn’t let me take your temperature without a fight, and you’re hardly in a position to do so. It would only exacerbate your condition, or worse. Bore me. Now don't you touch that dial, I’ll be right back.”

“Trust me, I couldn't m-make a break for it if-- snff! if I tried.” Another shiver, and Lucifer rubbed at his arms, “It’s f-freezing in he-here…”

In a snap a bonfire lit near a reading chair, Alastor casually plucking up the throw draped over the side.

“Oh ha ha.” Lucifer grumbled, watching the sinner leisurely stroll to an old, worn hardcover. “What, are you waiting for the fun to start up again? Don't bother, I'm-- snff! I'm all sneezed out for tonight. Humbling myself must have d-done the trick…” He pouted, last sentence unraveling to a faint whisper.

“Precisely.” The other stepped forward, holding out a hand. “I'm going to take the spotlight for once while you, Sire, get to play second fiddle.”

Lucifer hesitated, staring at his hand. Ruminating, tasting the words on his forked tongue before he wilted in defeat. “Fine, but just for tonight. What did you have in mind?”

Alastor released a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

“A simple, old-fashioned transformation would suffice. One worthy of a sinner such as myself.”

“...Oh. I c-can do that.” Lucifer shot him a small, worn smile. And in a flash of scarlet and gold, he very literally snaked up his arm, white-gold scales wrapping loosely around his shoulders.

“Good man.” Alastor sat back in the pillowy armchair, adjusting the blanket until both of them were covered— biting back a spark of satisfaction when the shivering frame slowed to a stop. A comforted sigh brushed his ear.

“This feels nice.” Lucifer rasped, coiling further around The Radio Demon's neck and deeper into his makeshift hide.

“Obviously.” The Overlord huffed.

“...Sorry.”

“Hm? Whatever for?”

“For being so tesssty.” Lucifer hissed, flicking out his tongue in distaste. “I haven't been a ruler in so long. And to be with Charlie again, to schedule meetings with old friends I haven't seen in years since The Fall, and...”

Alastor snuck a glance at the old serpent, and he swore those golden eyes aged centuries in seconds.

“It must be terrifying.” The other finished for him. “To take in so many responsibilities at once after being alone for so long.”

For a moment, the crackling fire was all that answered.

“It's certainly…over...whelming...” Lucifer yawned, jaw unhinging to unnerving lengths. “Oh my, pardon me.”

”Well, it's best you recover.” Alastor cracked open the book in his lap, “It would be a rather dull place without your constant whinging.”

“Hey! I'm not whinging! I'm complaining, there's,“ Another fang flashing yawn, “a lot that I can't stand about you.”

“And yet the horrors persist.” The Radio Demon shot him a grin.

“Oh shut up.”

“What a shame. Here I am about to read in peace, but there’s still so much pesky noise. And in a library, no less!”

“You sssstarted it.” The king grumbled, slit pupils shrinking to needles.

And began to un-tense as a lilting voice carried in the air.

“Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank and of having nothing to do…”

The first sentence barely passed when Lucifer finally succumbed to a restful sleep.

#ha//zb//in//ho//tel//#a/la/stor #lu/ci/fer #snz fic #snz #sick//tember//2024 #ra//dio//app//le

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wolfsnape · 5 months ago

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En vrai si le dernier porteur de flamme c'est l'homme au masque de fer c'est hilarant parce que c'est une ref incroyable et le mystère ultime de l'histoire française et on valide fort

#j'ai vu la ref assassin's creed et j'aime bien mais VRAIMENT #le masque de fer la LEGENDE #olympics #paris 2024 #jeux olympiques #paris #wolfie made a statement #french side of tumblr

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guillemelgat · 1 year ago

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30 llibres en català!

Bon any! (Sí, ja sé que arribo molt tard, però necessitava un descans després dels examens i tant de viatjar durant les vacances 😅) Porto un temps volent fer algun pas més amb el català, com que ja tinc un C1 còmode i no gaire pressió per millorar. El fet és que arribat en aquest punt, encara em queda moltíssim per aprendre, i per fer el pas al C2 i més enllà he d’esforçar-me més per afinar el lèxic i aprecisar els registres. També és cert que no he tingut gaires oportunitats aquest any per utilitzar el català, i es nota. Però tot això té un remei: tornar a estudiar, verament estudiar, el català.

Amb el C1 i C2, com que depenen tant de l’ús precís i mesurat de la llengua, és molt important interactuar amb una diversitat de gèneres i estils lingüístics. Amb el català, no tinc cap problema amb la gran majoria de registres orals ni escrits, si és que són informals, però entrats en coses més formals ja hi tinc molt menys familiaritat. També cal dir que el llenguatge literari sol ser més ric, tant a nivell lèxic com estilístic, i per això és un bon punt de partida per treballar la llengua. A més a més, llegir en anglès ja forma una gran part del meu dia-a-dia, i tot i que no puc canviar-ho tot al català, fer que el català sigui una de les llengües que faig servir tindrà un impacte important en el meu nivell i també podrà ser una part fonamental de la meva vida professional en algun moment, com que em vull dedicar a la catalanística. Per totes aquestes raons, crec que posar-me a prova amb la lectura en català serà un bon repte.

He pres com a punt de partida aquest repte en castellà (que he arribat a conèixer gràcies a, i que també ha estat elaborat més per @cernuda), però he decidit rebaixar la quantitat de llibres per algunes raons: (1) la persona que ha fet el repte ha triat llibres més curtets, i jo en tinc algunes de 500 pàgines i més, per tant crec que és més que justificat, (2) tinc moltes coses que em demanen l’atenció i sé que si poso un número més alt no em trobaré amb els ànims d’acabar el repte, (3) vull tenir el temps d’assaborir alguns d’aquests llibres perquè són clàssics, i (4) ja faig moltes més coses en català, i llegir 30 llibres ja per mi són molts llibres per llegir en un any, ni que siguin en català. Crec que, vist així, té tot el sentit del món la xifra que he triat.

Tinc una llista més o menys elaborada, amb una gran varietat de llibres (no-ficció, juvenil, medieval, poesia, tant moderns com clàssics de la llengua), i espero que amb això ja tindré prou per ocupar-me fins a desembre. Si teniu recomanacions ja em direu, i moltes gràcies a @no-passaran i @quimerathetraveler per l’allau de llibres que ja m’heu recomanat, sou els millors ❤️ Si algú més s’anima a acompanyar-me, ja em diràs i podem intercanviar llistes. I amb això, apa, a llegir!

#catalan:general #catalan:goals #general:goals #no prometo absolutament res de contingut perquè amb llegir ja n'hi ha prou però si ha un llibre que m'agrada en especial us ho diré #però vull llegir tirant lo blanc el canigó el llibre de meravelles i incerta glòria com a mínim #fa temps que els he volgut llegir però necessito una excusa per fer-ho #em sap greu quimera no m'ha deixat etiquetar-te 😔✊ però mil gràcies per totes les recomanacions ja confio que veuràs aquest post #ostres porto el català formal fatal però ja ho treballarem ja :///

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joe-willow · 2 months ago

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Reblog please !!! this is urgent

Hello everybody who sees that post!,

I need your help for a VERY important art project !!!! (it's for school, it's my final art project......)

And guess what, to help me, you just have to tell me what you consider beautiful ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️

beautiful, ok uh but what ? what ?? what ???????

Well, my project is about SUPERFICIALITY and SOCIAL NETWORKS , so, to help me, you have to tell me what makes you consider a person BEAUTIFUL. like go ahead. Tell me. Even your most unrealistic criteria, it will be even better for my project.

The whole idea is to create a statue of a person lying on a beach, between two panel, which would make the whole thing look like a scene.

The statue would look like an average woman, like...... average........ Not so beautiful, but so ugly either.

ALL OF YOUR UNREALISTIC CRITERIA would help me for the FIRST PANEL. This one is supposed to look like a social network interface, which would have a transparent part, through which we would see the statue. I WILL PAINT ON THAT PART, which is supposed to show, yk, what we would see her like on the social network, SO ALL YOUR UNREASONABLE CRITERIAS AND ALL. The project is much more complicated and deep but french is my language, not english, pardonnez moi..........

My project is supposed to denounce the impact of the social media on the way ppl sees themselves and the ridiculous abuse of filters and such.

It looks like this rn :

The girl at the right is how the statue will look like.

WHAT MAKES YOU CONSIDER A PERSON BEAUTIFUL ???????????????????????????????"?' ????¿

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blackswaneuroparedux · 2 years ago

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James Bond: I admire your courage, Miss…? Sylvia Trench: Trench. Sylvia Trench. I admire your luck, Mr…? James Bond: Bond. James Bond.

- Dr. No (1962)

During the Casino scene at Le Cercle (Les Ambassadeurs Club), James Bond plays a game of chemin de fer using cash plaques. It’s in the middle of a game against Sylvia Trench (Eunice Gayson), he utters the line that will immortalise the entire Bond saga, “Bond… James Bond”. After beating her several times, 007 uses his charm to invite the young woman into his room. Sylvia thus becomes the very first James Bond girl.

Les Ambassadeurs Casino was established in 1941 by John Mills, a Polish immigrant, on Hanover Square before moving to Hamilton Place in 1950. At the dawn of World War II, the Pole left his homeland for England. Previously a member of a Polish commando unit and an intelligence officer in Portugal, the man founded Les Ambassadeurs Casino.

Nicknamed “The A’s” by its patrons, the establishment was first located in Hanover Square and then in Hamilton Place, the first building having become too small to accommodate all the patrons.

Built in 1810, 5 Hamilton Place was inhabited by aristocrats, the Conynghams, businessman Leopold de Rothschild and Captain Leonard Frank Plugge before being sold to John Mills.

The club was later expanded to include a nightclub and a gaming club, Le Cercle, in 1961. Run by French croupiers, it has been popular with royalty such as Prince Philip, the late Duke of Edinburgh. Sir Christopher Lee, (the actor and future Bond villain, Scaramanga) was a member and kept a bottles of gin with his name on it.

#dr no #james bond #quote #movie #cinema #film #casino #le cercle #les ambassadeurs #london #gambling #chemin de fer #ian fleming #sean connery

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westeroswisdom · 1 year ago

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Nikolaj Coster-Waldau has eight seasons of faux Medieval cred thanks to his character Jaime Lannister on Game of Thrones. In an upcoming production by the BBC and CBS Studios he gets to recreate some actual 11th century history in the series King and Conqueror.

Nikolaj's character never got to rule the Seven Kingdoms. But in King and Conqueror he portrays William the Conqueror who became King of England and ultimately the founder of the royal line which still reigns in London.

George R.R. Martin was heavily influenced by English, French, and Scottish history in ASoIaF. GRRM may have had William the Conqueror in mind when writing about Aegon I Targaryen.

In 1066, the English King Edward the Confessor died without an heir. As if dying without a direct descendant to claim the throne wasn't one of the most chaotic things a king could do, Edward took it a step further: He allegedly promised the throne to both his brother-in-law, Harold Godwinson, and to a distant relative, William of Normandy. Harold and William weren't the only ones with a claim, either. While the pope endorsed William's claim, the resulting war of succession would force Harold to fight Harald Hardrada, the king of Norway, who also claimed the thrones of Denmark and England and invaded the latter alongside Harold's brother, Tostig. Anglo-Saxon King Harold would have to defeat Harald before meeting William and his Norman invasion at the Battle of Hastings, all in the same year. If that sounds to you like a lot of drama that could easily be its own television series, you aren't alone. CBS Studios and the BBC are teaming to produce "King and Conqueror," a show about this most pivotal event in English history. James Norton ("Happy Valley") and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau ("Game of Thrones") are attached to be the titular King Harold and William the Conqueror, respectively. [ ... ] Historians might disagree on whose side of the story is more accurate, but screenwriters and producers agree that no matter what happened, the 1,000-year-old story will make for great television. Michael Robert Johnson ("Sherlock Holmes") will pen the series while Baltasar Kormákur ("2 Guns") will direct. "King and Conqueror" begins production in 2024.

There's actually a physical artistic link between the account of William's conquest in the 1060s and Game of Thrones.

After William's victory, his half-brother Bishop Odo was apparently the commissioner of a tapestry embroidered with scenes which tell the epic story of William's conquest. The cloth, now known as the Bayeaux Tapestry is an amazing 70 meters long. It can be viewed here.

So volunteers at the Ulster Museum in Northern Ireland where GoT was produced created a tapestry in the style of the Bayeaux Tapestry which tells the story of all eight seasons of GoT. See our 2019 post about it.

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