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strrvnge · 2 months

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The 1

Part 3

Am I posting again after a year on a random sunday? Oh yes.I suggest listening to I hate it here by taylor swift, cynical one by tv girl, tomorrow never came by ldr.

Summery; After months of not talking after he conforted you in your party Stephen receives an invitation for your pre-wedding party.

Your fingers smoothly trail down the slippery yet soft and lustrous fabric of your white dress. Silk is known for its elegance, a symbol of femininity and luxury. You find it cold to touch, you hate how it fits your body and how self conscious it makes you feel.

‘’Darling!” You look up quickly as your soon to be mother in law approaches you.

‘’This is not the dress we picked’’ she says surprised looking you up and down

‘’Yes after you left the store I picked something myself’’ You follow her scrutinising gaze looking down at yourself, desperate to please her eclectic style.

‘’Darling’’ she tries to sound sweet but you can pick up on her patronising tone. She tilts her head and looks at you like she was dealing with a child that mismatches their clothes. ‘’Why do you do this to yourself? White makes you look…pale darling. Like a dead person. Didn’t we agree on eggshell?’’ she says touching the fabric with a disgusted grimace.

‘’I didn’t like eggshell’’ you explain trying to ignore how she is now shamelessly touching your stomach

‘’The fabric also looks cheap, nothing like the one we picked together. Did you forget we have to impress that executive? James really counts on us to make a great impression. Are you really feeling your best self in this?’’

It wasn’t a question so you don’t bother to answer. It was also true, you don’t feel your best self.

‘’You also put on a little weight, didn't you, darling? Let me take this out of your hands. A moment on the lips…’’ she shakes her head clearly disappointed in you. She takes the small pie from your hand and passes it to some waiter she barely bothers to look in the eyes.

‘’Mom aunt Mary is here’’ James comes and wraps his arm around your waist but to you it feels more like a lifesaver.

‘’Oh I should go greet her before she finds the bar’’ she chuckles and puts on her fake smile as she leaves.

‘’Did you see that? She literally took the food right off my hands’’ you turn to James but he is looking at his phone refreshing his emails.

‘’Well she does this for you. So you’ll look good in the wedding pictures that will last for a lifetimeyou will look back on for a lifetime’’ he says giving a last glance at his phone’s screen before looking up at you with a grin ‘’ Anyway you can always be thinner, look better’’

‘’James just because you work in finance doesn’t mean you have to quote Patrick Bateman on a daily basis’’

‘’This is a wedding cheer up . Now give me a smile’’ you look at him confused but also disgusted. You force yourself to smile but it doesn’t reach your eyes.

‘’There you go! Oh I need champagne. Do you want some?’’

You nod your head and before he goes to leave he look at you

‘’That’s not the dress mommy picked right? She’d never pick this type of dress’’ “Mommy picked that dress? Wow people change with age he looks again at the dress almost disappointed before brushing it off and leaving.

You sigh and try to compose yourself and stop that feeling of throwing up. You look around you a haze of familiar strangers and then your gaze is instantly drawn to the door. You’d give the world for an escape but before your melancholia could kick in you spot himdhdjdjjs.

Your eyes meet and you feel as if you’re seeing a ghost from the past. He walks to you

“Stephen. What are you doing here?” your tone is demanding and million different ideas as to why he us here run in your head. You panic scared he’ll destroy everything.

‘’Hi” he can sense your panic and “I was surprised you even invited me. I guessed you invited me to the wedding out of politeness but the rehearsal dinner? I don’t even see your mother in here’’

‘’I didn’t invite you’’ you say bluntly despite how rude it sounds. He looks at you puzzled and you feel relieved he isn’t here to cause any trouble.

‘’James mentioned to his mom about you and she probably invited you’’ he looks at you in disbelief but

‘’Because we went to collage together?’’

‘’No because you are an internationally acclaimed neurosurgeon and now a fucking superhero- wizard?’Please keep in check your inflated ego”

‘’Someone’s feeling bossy in white’’

‘’Don’t start and…Don’t call me that’’ you say pointing your finger at him

‘’Not a big fan of weddings so tell me are are brides supposed to be so stressed?’’ he makes another attempt to lighten up the mood but he knows it's futile.

‘’Do you want me to go?’’ he says in a serious tone and tries to hide his disappointment

‘’Dottie will want to parade you all around. She’ll kill me if I tell you to leave’’

‘’Does she know about…’’ he asks and you look at him with wide eyes full of panic that kills him.

“Don’t be absurd. James doesn’t know so she doesn’t either’’ she quickly says and he has to bite down his tongue to not ask you why you’re so ashamed.

‘’So where is your mom? I was excited to see her’’ he sighs and looks around the crowd of unknown faces.

‘’She couldn’t come’’ you quickly say and look down at your feet embarrassed with the bad lie.

‘’To her daughter’s rehearsal dinner? Isn’t the wedding tomorrow?’’ he chuckles, clearly not buying it.

‘’What’s up with the third degree? Are you suddenly Sherlock Holmes?’’ you ask defensively in a stern expression to stop this conversation.

‘’Just small talk. I forgot we’re beyond that. I should leave you to it and go get a drink’’

‘’Don’t’’you mutter and immediately reach for his hand. You feel a jolt of electricity that causes you dread. You feared that if you ever touched him again you would have a hard time pulling away.

His heart sinks as you touch his arm, gently but firm like always but also slightly different than what he remembered.

As you realise what you did you retrieve your hand and look down almost ashamed with yourself.

“Come. Let’s not keep Dottie waiting to meet your grace” you say and you take him into the crowd.

Stephan had made a name for himself in the medical field, he lost his talent, saved the reality and even though he felt a chamged man he realised nothing could beat the suffocating feeling social parties caused him. The supposedly intimate and close party before your wedding had turned into another social event perfect for networking and aimless small talk.

He had changed yet everything around him felt the same.

You and your mother in law introduced him to enough people to make his hand hurt from all the firm handshakes but despite the endless boredom and headache it caused him all it took was one glance at you and he found the power to do anything.

It surprised him how something you work really hard for and have the best intentions for, dreams and expectations suddenly just doesn’t work out. The second year of your dating he tested if your last name suited his name as well as his last name fitted your name. It did and if he was to ever marry you he wouldn’t mind taking your last name. Now he stands beside you a few hours before the wedding and he can go along perfectly with every person you introduce him to. He fits into your life perfectly like a piece on a puzzle and he hopes you can see it and keep him around.

Then your husband comes and wraps his arm around your waist and Steohen realises that the puzzle might be complete. Yet he looks at you longing for you. Can you see that? Does it make you feel something or it makes you indifferent? He knows there is a crowd and he has done things to hurt you but can you see beyond that and into his soul like you always knew so well to do?

“So how are things besides the wedding? How’s work?” he asks as you two escape to the terrace for some peace after all the endless socialising.

“I quit my job actually” you admit and his eyes widened in shock.

“You did?” He asks trying hard to hide his surprise “I thought you loved your job”

He doesn’t think he knows. How could he forget how passionate you were about your profession, how you loved taking care of people. Plus you looked really good in the white coat, a thing he seemed to love at the end of your shifts./whenever you worked the same shifts.

“I have changed Stephen” you say your voice is firm and assertive and you scan his face trying to see his true feelings. Shock, surpise, disappointment and for some reason sadness? You hated the reaction of your parents but you feared his.

“I mean I still love it but I wouldn’t mind a break. Anyway I’ll be busy. We bought a new apartment and after our honeymoon we’ll do a renovation, then there is the interior design and his mother helped me get into a committee of some organisation. There are many things I’ll have to take care of”

All it takes is one look to notice his obvious disappointment, your explanation is too weak to convince him. Truth to be told you are disappointed in yourself too, becoming a type of woman you never expected to be, one that he definitely doesn't recognise.

You both nod your heads and a pause follows. You both dropped your fake polite smiles you wore and the tension is thick with all the unspoken emotions and expectations neither of you dare to put into words or even make sense of. You look inside your gaze falling on your mother in law.

He follows your gaze and for a moment he wonders if it is a preview to the future. Is that the woman you look up to now? The woman he once swore to himself to love forever?

‘’Your mother in law is…she is something’’ he says trying to keep himself from chuckling.

‘’Come on. Since when did you become polite? Just say what’s on your messed up mind” you look over at him eager to push him to say all the ugly things you know he is thinking.

‘’She is a bitch” he says, his eyes locked with yours carefully waiting for any shift in your expression.

“She is the upper east side charity event, wamable socialite turned philanthropist with a tone of repressed feelings and dreams and an affair with the pool boy from her Hamptoms estate on the way”

“That’s very bold and awfully descriptive” you say, never taking your eyes off him. For a moment there is a mutual understanding, a raw feeling and a silence that you find unbearable.

“Well you are right. If she see me eating she will literally kill me’’

‘’Why? You look perfect’’ he smiles slyly and shamelessly looks at you up and down, taking in every curve and contour of your body.

‘’She ordered the wedding dress two sizes smaller’’ you say to make your mother in law like a bitch so you’ll laugh but you notice how his smile slightly falterns at the mention of the wedding dress.

“Well James isn’t far from the finance guy stereotype. Do you remember those insufferable business school guys we met that one time at a party? They were wasted uet couldn’t stop explaining to us the stock market”

“Don’t talk about him like that” you say but your tone isn’t demanding or shows that you're trying to defend him in any way. It’s something you wished you could say as his soon to be wife and actually mean. Also James did try to explain stock to you like a million times.

‘’I love the dress’’ he says hoping to change the subject and for one more time he looks you up and down internally struggling to realise how someone can be so breathtaking.

‘’No you don’t’’ you smile politely knowing it is only an attempt to cheer you up but it hurts him how you don’t seem to trust him even in something as simple as a compliment.

‘’No, no. I would say it’s not your style but I don’t know you -no sarcasm intended. It does look good”

He almost wants to lick his lips as his gaze trails down your body. The soft and thin fabric is a good reminder that your body is exactly as he remembered.

“Silk…silk is very flattering to your body’’ he mutters and you can feel your cheeks burn. You can’t believe how once again he has flustered you even though you shouldn’t want his compliments and the fact that on that day he is the only one who complimented you and was genuine makes this situation even more impossible.

‘’Why did you come here?’’ you ask softly and he is surprised with your gentle tone.

‘’I was forced”

He had promised himself to be guarded around you knowing that after all the history between you two he shouldn't be so vulnerable because your anger, even though understandable , would leave him lethally wounded. He never was one to betray such promises yet all it takes is a tiny sign of softness from you and he is crawling to your feet ready to be vulnerable and honest even if you’ll kick him away.

“I didn’t want to come because I thought you wouldn’t want to see me. But then there was the invitation for this little party so I was foolish to think it was a mixed message and you wanted to patch things up. I know it’s silly-’’

‘’It’s not silly” you give him a warm smile, the idea of having him by your side melting your heart.“Patching things up sounds nice’’ you say but you can see how he doesn’t believe you.

‘’Stephen I know I said some things-”

“You said things you ment and you were right. I had no right waltzing/bursting into your life like this and I had no right hurting you in the first place. I only ever want you happy and.. now you are” His palms are sweating as he says the million times rehearsed on the mirror speech and he prays it doesn’t sound emotionless. He says with all the courage he had managed to gather those past months.

“I am?” you hate how it came out as a weak question but right now you’re dying for some validation that you had made all the right choices and now you are happy.

“Yes. Which girl doesn’t dream of living in the big city, in one of the best neighbourhoods with a husband she loves-” he starts off himself a bit impressed with himself and how courageous he is. He feels genuinely like the bigger person even though that fact that he had prayed you would call off the wedding.

“It is a dream indeed” you cut him off and take a big sip from your champagne, his words doing more damage than good.

“I’m happy for you. You deserve to live a dream” he continues not picking up how you avoid his gaze. You don’t reply and he wonders if it was too much and you find him cheesy and ridiculous. He hates how he has to second guess himself and your once effortless conversations felt like walking on eggshells around you.

“Anyway I also came to bring you something before the wedding” he says and you watch as he searches in the inner pocket of his suit.

He is holding a small bracelet. Not designer, not gold or silver but an old well preserved bracelet of yours you had almost forgotten about. He remembers the day you had given it to him. It was your lucky bracelet and whenever you wanted to cheat in some exam it always brought you luck. It was his first big surgery and to help him feel less stressed you had given it to him.

“It's yours. You forgot it when you packed your things that day. I shouldn’t have kept it all those years but I did. You should have it”

For a brief moment his hand touches yours as he places the bracelet in your palm. The metallic bracelet feels cold against your skin but all you cared about is how your hand almost burned where he touched you.

“You can wear it. Or James, I don’t know”

You look up at him desperate to say so many things but unable to speak a word. You don’t want the bracelet. Its memory has faded and you can barely remember the version of you that loved it. There is a strange and foreign feeling in your heart you can’t point your finger to but you want it gone. You feel as if all those years you were searching for something lost and now that you came upon it you can’t remember why you were looking for it or its importance.

You don’t remember how you once were someone who believed in luck who felt fearless and ready to dominate the whole world and make it hers. Now you feel little and all you wish is to fade away. No one would notice and it is both sad but also a relief.

“I think you should keep it”

A sudden feeling of escape hits you and you want that version of you to survive being somewhere else and not here where you are.

Stephen can’t bear your rejection. He wants to keep it as much as he wants to keep you but most of all the memory of you two together, the memory of himself when he had it all. He wants that version of himself to be with you, he wants you to be happy and if he can’t be with you then he can compromise knowing part of him is.

He can see you changing no matter how he wished he was blind. His memory of you is fading and you’re turning into a stranger he’ll never get to know.

“I can’t keep it. It's yours. It’s your luck and I’ve been holding onto it for longer than I should”

And then it hit you. He didn’t come here to patch things up but say goodbye. Your heart is racing and you bite down your tongue to keep your emotions in check.

“I see. You want to hold your own luck in your hands” you give him a fading smile the only thing keeping you from saying something bitter and mean. You know you can’t blame him for letting go no matter how much want to. “we should be the masters of our own fate”

“I’m not a good person. I wasn’t back then and I doubt I am now but you make me hope I can be one day. Your forgiveness means more than you could ever imagine” he takes your hand into his but you feel no comfort.

“Which makes me sound like an asshole asking you for something on your wedding day but nevermind. Now let me help you with that” he lets go of your hand and takes the bracelet.

“Maybe it can be my something old for the wedding” your eyes are fixed on his face and you hope your words will hurt him deeply. You curse yourself for being such an awful person.

“Maybe” he gives you one of his charming smiles and the bracelet is set on your wrist.

“You’ll make a wonderful bride” he looks at you affectionately, his eyes lingering on your face as if he is trying to memorise every little detail.

“White is your colour for a reason right? I bet you’re getting married just for that. Of course the attention and the gifts” he says and no matter how much it hurts you can’t help but laugh.

“Also the gown” you laugh your words tasting bittersweet in your mouth.

“The gown of course. Is it puffy, promise me it’s puffy. Puffy with bows” he asks with pleading puppy eyes.

“Please I would die” you chuckle and as you place some of your hair behind your ear the charms of the bracelet hit each other making a long forgotten sound.

“No? I find it pretty classy”

“I hate you” you say and you smile with perhaps the wider smile you ever had over the past years.

“Fuck I have to go” he looks at his watch and you can feel a knot in your stomach “We have a situation at the sanctarum”

“Long story. I honestly would have found someone else to deal with it but I didn’t think I’d stay herr for long. I thought you'd kick me out the moment I stepped my foot in here”

“Like I have ever been abusive with you” you roll your eyes with his dramatic comment.

“Only in the ways I liked it” a sly smirk plays on his lips but you don’t care and smile back. You don’t care if tomorrow is your wedding, you certainly don't care if he is your ex and that comment is bringing back memories that are not so innocent.

“Go back to your magic word you disgusting wizard”you say and playfully hit him on the arm. There is a burning sensation you’d like to hold onto for eternity.

“I want to say domestic abuse but I don’t think I can’t” he looks at your happy face and he now believes it that soon to be brides are shining with joy. He only wishes he could cause that joy.

“No, no you can’t” you chuckle and a pause follows. Despite the deafening silence there are so many things unsaid.

“I’ll see you tomorrow” he rests his hand on your shoulder, his eyes locked on yours and he wonders if you can pick up on his lie. He can’t bear witnessing your wedding if now just your smile makes him feel as if he was looking directly at the sun.

“Okay” you softly say and you catch yourself hoping the next day would come as fast as possible just to see him. “I’ll see you tomorrow”

The sensation of his touch is still lingering hours after he left. The bracelet is still on your wrist and you hate how strange and unknown it feels against your skin. It doesn’t belong and it shouldn’t.

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

James’ question snaps you out of your thoughts and you look across the room at him surprised and puzzled.

“What?”

“Do you think I’m stupid? As a person I mean.” he stops unbuttoning his shirt and takes a step closer to your bed where you are sitting a second ago lost in thought. You don’t understand his question or how to answer it.

“Where were you all night long?” he notices the slight change in your expression but doesn't wait for you to reply. “I wanted to introduce you to some guys from work and some relatives and I just couldn’t find you”

“I was there of course” you say and smile sheepishly as if that would put him at ease.

“Do you really think I don’t see the way he looks at you? That face he makes whenever I put my arms around you or kiss you? Or do you think I’m blind and didn’t notice how you two completely disappeared all night long?”

You bite the inside of your cheek and you just look at him. He doesn’t look disappointed or hurt or even angry and that makes you feel even more nervous.

“Stephen and I are friends” the lie feels so easy to say but too heavy to hear and believe. You don’t believe yourself and he doesn’t believe you either.

“Friends don’t look at each other like that” he says and looks at himself in the mirror as he takes off his tie.

“After your birthday party I had to ask your friends since you didn’t tell me, turns out you used to date for six years. You had told me your past relationship meant nothing and I believed you. But six years? Six fucking years of your life and you never cared to menrion him once?" He scoffs and you wish he could strangle you with his tie.

"James-"

"You told me your past relationship meant nothing" he lets go of his tie and takes another step closer to you.

"It meant nothing. And if you minded then why did you let your mother invite him here?" You ask defensively.

"I believed it meant nothing until he came here and you disappeared. A day before our wedding"

"That party was suffocating. I wanted a break" you finally admit, unable to hold back or bite your tongue anymore.

"Oh give me a break” he laughs dryly before he looks at you and pauses for a moment his expression turning serious again. He kneels down and takes your hands into his while you just watch him in shock.

“I'm not perfect. I have flaws and I know I can be...a jerk sometimes. I talk too much but somehow manage to never say anything of substance. I make stupid shallow jokes and do stupid things to fit in and hide how...I'm not as sophisticated and as real as you even if I have the money. I know all that but I'm trying. I'm not the perfect husband. I'm probably not even a very good person but I try. And I want to work on us. But despite my flaws I don't think I deserve to be lied to like you did"

Your expression softens and you feel a pang of guilt and shame. His once smug demeanour had shifted into something more vulnerable and raw, a moment so rare in your relationship that makes you uncomfortable.

You look down at him as he shakes his head trying to hold something back but he makes a scoffing sound and looks again at you.

"And youre so so difficult. Whining and complaining about my mother, me, the prenup, your job and don't deny it because you might not say something but I can see your face. So here I am putting all the effort and trying to make everything perfect for Miss Perfect and you’re flirting and hiding away with an ex. So please get off your high white horse because you're deeply flawed and frankly too broken to be judging me or my mother or my friends or my family. Our fucking family”

You’re taken aback but he seems pleased finally letting out he has been holding inside him for far too long. He stands up and walks to the mirror continuing getting undressed as if nothing had happened. You look at him for a moment shocked, hurt and confused.

He doesn’t seem to pay you any mind and you stand up walking out of your bedroom. Your head is foggy and millions of thoughts are running through your head none of them clear. You can feel the cold air hit you but you have no clue where you’re headed just that your steps are determined. Despite the unclear thoughts you feel oddly There is knock but you don’t seem to process the noise till the door opens

“What..what are you doing here?” Stephen looks at you confused.

After minutes of walking without realising where you’re going his voice brings you back to reality and you feel like you’re waking up from a dream. You take a small step forward and you kiss him, nothing gentle or soft but an intense passionate kiss that conveys all the frustration and desperatetion and longing.

#dr strange x reader #stephen strange x reader #dr strange x you #stephen strange x you #dr stephen strange #benedict cumberbatch

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builtbybrokenbells · 1 year

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Spitfire | vi

Rumours spread around the internet, causing turmoil like never before. In a desperate attempt to forget,y/n takes solace in the bar, making it a mission to forget him completely. Jake is left wondering if he’ll ever get a chance to explain himself. When her roommates try to do damage control, they’re left wondering if the Twitter feed and speculation is really the biggest issue, or her way of covering up her crippling fear of falling in love.

Read part five here

Read part seven here

Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader

Word count: 7.5k

Warnings: cheating/cheating rumours, Twitter, binge drinking, unhealthy coping mechanisms, lots of angst, crying, like a 2 second mention of throwing up (very short because i hate throwing up with a violent passion), basically this whole chapter is an angsty shitshow because I live for drama, sorry if I missed any!

so obvi i had to throw in some heartbreak to offset all the fluffy happiness, cause that’s just who i am. lots of projection in this one (hey, at least I’m owning up to my flaws) but this is just an angsty mess before we get to a happy ending cause I wanted to showcase how detrimental the internet/social media can be and how bad ldr sucks 😁 as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻 (also thank you all so much for the love on this series. im having a lot of fun writing it and it overjoys me to see that other people like it, too)

Your feet carried you to the living room, speed faster than you’d ever ran before. When you turned the corner of the hallway, your footing slipped and you had to brace yourself on the wall. Eve was sprawled on the couch. She looked to you, eyes wide with panic, scared that something bad happened. “What has got you all riled up?” She threw her phone beside her, sitting upright.

“I-I, uh, I just…” you were breathless, heart pounding in your chest as you tried to formulate your words. “The… t-the-“

“Just fucking spit it out!” She laughed, clearly understanding that your rapid approach was due to good news rather than bad.

“Okay, sorry.” You ran your hand through your hair, pushing it away from your face. “I think I’m gonna throw up.” You laughed, fanning your face with your hands. Tears were threatening to spill over, and your skin was prickling with excitement. “So I started my internship on Monday, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” She said, waiting for an explanation.

“And I met everyone in the ‘office’.” You air-quoted office, knowing you’d only interact with them over zoom meetings for the four month duration. “But I met the head of the department today, the big boss.” She gave an eager nod. “He told me that he read over my research report. He said it was one of the best he’s ever read.”

“No way!” Eve was standing now, bouncing with just as much enthusiasm.

“Yeah, but that’s not it.” You stopped her. “I mean yeah, that’s fantastic, but it’s way better than that.” You felt the tears begin to roll down your cheeks, too caught up in the situation to care. “He wants to continue on with it. He told me he thinks the idea is fantastic and worth the money. I’m not going to be working on, or following up somebody else’s research this summer. They want to work on mine.” Her eyes were wide, her previous demeanour completely frozen. After a few seconds, she exploded into a scream and engulfed you into a hug. You held on to her, wanting to yell just as badly. “Can you punch me? Just to make sure I’m not dreaming?”

She pulled back, shaking her head and wiping your tears away. “Not a dream.” She laughed, pulling you in for another embrace. “Y/n, they picked your topic from an undergraduate, not even a masters or a PhD. Do you know how huge that is?”

“I know! He told me he’s been waiting to work with me since the end of my first year. Apparently I’m the at the top of the program.” You were almost lightheaded, not being able to process what was happening.

“I’m so proud of you.” She said, taking your hands into hers. She gave them a squeeze, bringing you back to reality. “Did you tell anyone else?” You shook your head.

“No, I was going to text the sibling group chat and get it all over at once. I want to call Jake, but I’m just not sure if he’s busy or not.” You explained.

“Call him! If he’s busy, he won’t answer. I think this is way too important to wait to tell him.” She encouraged you.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna… I’ll go call him.” You breathed.

“Okay, but I’m taking you to dinner tonight to celebrate. We’ll go to The Garden, maybe get some drinks afterwards. It is Friday, after all.”

“Yeah, that sounds amazing. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You assured her.

“Good, now go call your loverboy.” She shooed you away. You jogged back to your room, letting the door fall shut behind you.

It had been almost two weeks since Jake left, meaning that your trip to Atlanta was right around the corner. Your brothers left the week prior, leaving your home quieter than you liked it. It was amazing having everyone there, but it was terrible when they all had to leave. You were adjusting, though, and knowing you were going to see Jake in a few days was really helping.

You slipped on the hoodie he’d so graciously left for you, and found the bottle of cologne, giving the front a small spritz. The smell immediately swarmed your senses, making you close your eyes in bliss. When your end of day meetings came to a close, you practically lived in his sweater. Him being gone this time was a little easier now that you had small reminders of him. You pulled your phone out, dialling his number off by heart. Your hands were vibrating as you clicked the speakerphone button. The dial tone rang a few times, but you couldn’t help but hope he’d pick up. You tapped your fingers on the wood of your desk, trying to remember if he told you he had a show or an interview that day.

“Hey, it’s Jake. Leave a message.” Your stomach sank with disappointment, but you didn’t let it last too long.

“Hey, rockstar. Big news, call me as soon as you can. Love you.” You didn’t let the voicemail linger, ending the call as soon as you finished speaking. As you stared at the screen of your phone, you realized you hadn’t heard from Jake since the night before. It was very strange of him not to send a good morning text, but you were so busy with work meetings all day you hadn’t picked up your phone at all.

You debated calling again, but decided against it. Instead, you went to your contact list and clicked on Josh’s name. You were expecting the same empty tone, but you were surprised when he answered after the first ring. “Hey, mama.” His usually happy tone was so comfortably familiar.

“Hey, Josh.” You couldn’t help but smile. Josh had rapidly become another brother to you, just the same as Sam and Danny.

“What could I have possibly done to deserve a call from such an angel?” You rolled your eyes, a laugh making its way out. Josh was a very verbal person, and extremely friendly, too. At first, you were a bit thrown off by his strong compliments, but you’d gotten over it quite quickly once you realized Jake never batted an eye about it. Clearly there was a lot of mutual trust between the two.

“Just missed your sweet voice, is all.” You joked. He let out a small chuckle.

“You’re too kind,” he said “but really, what’s up? Usually I’m the one calling you.”

“Don’t say it like that, that makes me sound like an asshole.” You replied.

“You know what I mean.” You could practically hear his eye roll through the phone.

“I know,” you assured him. “I was just calling to see if you knew where Jake was. I haven’t heard from him all day and I got some pretty big news. I called to tell him and he didn’t answer. I thought maybe you were all doing rockstar stuff, but it seems like you were waiting around for someone to call you.” You teased.

“Maybe I just drop everything to talk to you. Have you thought about that?”

“Whatever you say, Joshua.”

“To answer your question, I have no idea where he is. Today is kind of a day off, I guess. We’ve got a meeting tonight, but that’s more of us just hanging out with the managers.”

“Oh, that’s weird, then.” You said, uneasiness sprouting in your stomach.

“He could be asleep, or in music writing mode. I’ll get to the bottom of it for you.” He promised.

“Thanks, super-sleuth.” You laughed.

“What’s your big news?” Josh asked, changing the subject. You didn’t think the topic change was suspicious, more or less just Josh being nosy.

“I don’t know if Jake would forgive me if I told you first.” You were being honest. Jake wanted to be your biggest supporter, and you didn’t know if you telling Josh first would cause any issues. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt him.

“Ah, come on, mama. He didn’t answer, so it’s his loss. Besides, we’re practically the same person. Same DNA and all, you know?”

“I don’t think that makes you the same person, honey.” You giggled. “I think you just want to know.”

“Duh,” he scoffed “I won’t tell him, I promise. I’m really good with secrets.” Somehow, you weren’t sure if you believed him. But you were so excited about your accomplishment that you were itching to tell anyone who was willing to listen.

“Fine, okay, but promise you won’t say anything.”

“I won’t, I swear!” You could hear the giddiness in his voice.

“Okay, I’ll hold you to it, then.” You told him. “Basically, I started my summer internship with the biotechnology society this week. Today I met the head of the department and he told me he’s been wanting to work with me for a long time. He read my report about non-invasive blood-glucose tests and he wants to take it a step further. He thinks it’s worth the time and money.” You rushed out, feeling the excitement take over again.

“Y/n, that is fantastic!” He said. You could feel his smile in his words. One thing you adored about the four boys is that they all seemed incredibly genuine.

“Thank you, Josh. It’s super cool. Usually they only study graduate topics, but I guess he thinks I have what it takes.” You breathed, barely believing your own words.

“You absolutely have what it takes, mama, and Jake is going to be over the moon when you tell him.” You felt a smile break out on your lips.

“Thank you.” You really meant it. Jake and his brothers were always seemed so proud of you, and it made you feel so important. “I can’t wait to see you guys this weekend.”

“We’re really looking forward to it, too. Jake’s been so uptight when we practice because he wants to impress you at the show. It’s starting to get unbearable.” You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head in disbelief as if he could see you.

“I’m going to be the biggest fan there, even if he forgets how to play every song.”

“I know that, y/n. He just wants to show off for you. I, on the other hand, don’t have to practice. I already know I’ll win you over.” You rolled your eyes.

“Uh-huh,”

“Oh come on, what’s the matter with a little brotherly competition?” He joked.

“It seems more like a pissing contest.” You said. “Well, as nice as it’s been talking to you, I must go call my own brothers and tell them the news. They’ll be really upset if they find out I told you, first.”

“Like I said, my lips are sealed.” He promised. “I’m really happy for you, y/n.” His earlier tone of humour was gone, replaced with sincerity.

“Thank you, and thanks for picking up.” You said.

“As if I’d ignore you. I’ll find out what’s up with Jake and let you know. Talk soon?”

“Of course. Talk to you later, Josh.” You bid your goodbye. He hung up first, leaving you staring at the blank screen. Worry started to consume you, unsure of what Jake could be up to. The radio silence was extremely strange.

Before calling your own siblings, you decided to jump in the shower. You connected to your Bluetooth speaker, playing music softly in the background as you undressed and turned the faucet on. You climbed in, humming softly to the first song that came up on shuffle. You washed your hair and worked at getting all of the knots out. You took your time washing your body, letting the hot water sooth your stiffness from sitting in an office chair all day. You even took the time to exfoliate and shave. When you stepped out, you felt like a new person. You dried off, wrapping your hair in a towel, and throwing on an oversized t-shit and some sweatpants.

You went back to your room and threw your old clothes in your laundry basket. As you sat on the edge of your bed, your phone chimed from beside you. Your eyes fell on the screen, trying to make out who the message was from. Josh’s name was showing in the notification bar, so you picked it up to read what he said.

Twin Rockstar

Hey, checked on Jake. Don’t think he’s in his room. Will let you know when I find him :)

You typed a quick reply before clicking on your brothers contact. You figured you shouldn’t put off telling them the news any longer, and Sam would be the most likely to answer. You told him you needed him to call you ASAP, throwing your phone back on the mattress. You got up, moving to the closet and scouring through your heaps of clothes. Your hands settled on a simple red dress. Enough to look classy, but not enough to catch too much attention. You threw it on, spritzing some perfume and throwing on some deodorant. As you took your hair down to dry, you started on your makeup. You didn’t put on too much, just enough to accentuate your features.

You finished with swiping on the same lipstick you’d worn the night you met Jake. It was your favourite one before that night, but ever since it had caught his attention, it was the only one you liked to wear. Just as you were finishing up, your phone began to ring. You shuffled over, grabbing it off the mattress and accepting the video call. “Hello, Samuel.” You said, looking over his face.

“So you saw it, too?” He asked, forgoing any type of greeting. You raised an eyebrow, confused at what he could be talking about. He watched you carefully, quickly realizing that you did not want to call him for the same reason. “Oh, nothing.” He said, sheepishly. Your eyes hardened, not willing to play the game with him. He’d always done that; start a sentence or a story and try to change topics. Usually it was only when something bad happened. He hated giving bad news.

“What, Sam?” You pried, waiting for him to give in.

“Nothing, y/n. It was probably just a rumour anyway.”

“Just tell me, please.” You sighed. He shifted uncomfortably under your stare, but eventually conceded.

“I saw something. It’s probably nothing, I just thought you saw it, too, and that’s why you wanted me to call. You never send an urgent message.”

“What did you see, Sam?” Your stomach was twisting with anxiety the more the conversation went on. He let out a jumble of words that you had a hard time understanding. When you gave him a look of confusion, he rolled his eyes.

“I was doing my daily routine of stalking everyone on the internet.” He said, seeming to have trouble with how he was going to word his sentences. Leave it to Sam to spend an hour a day to catch up on everyone else’s drama. “And I saw a couple posts, a-and I think it’s just speculation and rumours,” he led into the topic as easy as he could. “But there’s a couple pictures of Jake going around. With another girl. And everybody thinks it’s a possible girlfriend.” He breathed. Your stomach dropped, but you held your expression firm, not letting a hint of emotion through.

“Oh, okay.” Was all you said. You tried to reason with yourself, wanting to believe that it was just a misunderstanding. Then, your brain immediately focused on the fact that you hadn’t heard from him all day, which was extremely unusual. That, and he hadn’t even told his brothers where he was. You were certain if Josh was lying to you, you’d be able to tell. He wasn’t very good at it. “Can you send me them?” You asked, clearing your throat to get rid of the lump that was forming.

“I’m sure it’s nothing, squirt. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.” His attempt at deflecting the impact was failing miserably.

“Just send them to me, Sam.” Your tone was becoming more angry by the second. He let out a long sigh, but did so without another word. The incoming message popped up on the top of your phone, immediately drawing your attention. You clicked on it, the aforementioned pictures unpleasantly gracing your screen. You tapped on the screenshot, zooming in a little bit to get a closer look.

There he was, unmistakably Jake, sitting at a restaurant table across from an unknown girl. There was a familiar smile on his face, one that made you sick when you thought about him giving it to another girl. You swiped through the photos, quickly finding that it was a whole Twitter chain. ‘Damn, his fans are always on top of the game’ you thought to yourself. There was pictures of them eating together, one with his hand resting on her arm, one of them walking down the street a little too close for comfort, and the last one of her wearing his jacket. You felt an indescribable feeling wash over you.

You read through the comments of fans talking about seeing it, how pretty she was, how happy he looked, and some not so nice tweets. You couldn’t help but feel a small comfort at the unsupportive statements. Your rationale was completely gone now, filled with anger at the sight. More than anything, you felt like an idiot. You fell for him so hard, but he was a boy, and a rockstar, at that. You had no idea why you believed a insignificant girl in Baltimore could tie him down. He probably had a new girl falling for him in every city he visited. Panic started to seep in, realizing that everything you were afraid seemed to be coming true. The look in his eye when he was smiling at her sent a shiver down your spine. It was so similar to how he looked at you.

There was a small part of you insisting there must be more to the story. A bigger, louder part of you didn’t care. Your trust for men and significant others was already extremely low before you met him. You’d spent a lifetime getting treated like garbage and cheated on, and even if this wasn’t the case, you weren’t sure if you even wanted to know. It was easier for you to shut down, to draw the conclusion that boys would always be boys. Although the photos weren’t a tell-all, they certainly didn’t make you feel good when you looked at them. A tiny voice in your brain was telling you that you were being irrational, and that you were doing what you always did; you were using this as a scapegoat to jump ship before you got seriously hurt. Self-destruction was a very well acquainted friend of yours, but you thought you’d left it behind a long time ago.

You took a long, shaky breath before speaking again. “I gotta go.” You mumbled, not giving Sam any time to answer. You hung up, completely forgetting about the real reason you wanted him to call you. You turned your phone on silent, throwing on an old jean jacket. You slung your purse over your shoulder, making sure you had everything you needed before you walked out of your bedroom.

The door slammed behind you with enough force to rattle the wall beside it.

As you made your way down the hallway, your jaw was clenched hard enough to made your head ache. Another classic move of yours; burying the sadness in anger. You tried to break out of it your whole life, but having four hotheaded brothers that loved to pick on you made the emotion permanent. Eve peeked her head around the corner to see what created the loud noise, but recoiled at the look on your face. You walked past her, not able to even give a glance in her direction, scared if you did you would break down. You were sure Sam would tell her, anyway. You threw a pair of shoes on and disappeared through the front door as fast as you could. You knew where you were going, and nobody was going to stop you.

You made your way down the street, eyes set forward and unwavering. The tunnel vision made it easy to ignore all of the passerby’s. By the time you made it to the front door of your favourite bar, you were positively sick with despair. Your stomach was churning and your chest was aching. You wanted nothing more than to go home and cover yourself in blankets and sleep the pain away, but you were never so willing to let a boy ruin you. You pushed through the front door with such a force that everyone’s head turned to look at you once you stepped inside. You went straight to the bar, too determined to drink to pay any mind to them. You stopped once you got in front of the bar, pulling your card out. Mike approached you, giving you a look of curiosity.

“Awful early for you to be here. Usually you only drink before 8 if something serious happened.”

“Triple whiskey sour.” You muttered, in no mood to make conversation. “And two shots of fireball.” He eyed you with concern, but pulled the bottles out, anyway. He wasn’t worried that you couldn’t handle your liquor; he was worried about why you were itching to drink so badly.

“You okay?” He asked as he slid the shot glasses towards you. You took both back to back, ignoring the burning in your chest. It was nothing compared to the ache in your heart.

“Perfectly okay, Mike.” You promised. “Never been better, actually.” He handed you the solo cup, eyes never leaving your face.

“For some reason, I don’t know if I believe you.” He said, watching you take two long drinks out of the glass.

“Quit it with the concerned act. Business is business.” You scolded, mustering a small smile to lessen the blow of the harsh words. You tapped your debit card against the machine once he pushed it towards you, taking a seat in one of the chairs. Tonight was not a dancing night, you decided. You felt your phone vibrating in your purse. It hadn’t stopped since you left the house. You were sure it was Sam, and you cared so little that you didn’t even bother taking it out to check it.

Your first drink came to an end pretty fast, and Mike, knowing you well enough, kept a steady stream of refills in front of you. By the time 9 o’clock rolled around and the bar began to get busy, you were already hammered. The anger in your body was still raging, but you were drunk enough to bury it deep under the surface. Mike had got a bit more talking out of you as the time passed, only making his concern grow more. You were very elusive as to why you were so desperate to be intoxicated, making him believe that whatever the reason was, was really bad. He’d only seen you drink like that on a few occasions, and rarely ever did you go to the bar alone.

“I think you should answer your phone, darlin’.” Mike said, eyeing your purse on the counter as your phone vibrated. As he sat with you, he took note of all the calls you were ignoring.

“You can.” You giggled, nudging the bag towards him. He sighed, reminding you of your dad when he got upset. “I’m not worried about it.” He reluctantly opened your purse and took your phone out, figuring it was better to let your friends know you were alive. You were good enough friends with Mike for him to feel comfortable enough to answer your phone for you. It definitely wouldn’t have been the first time. He tapped the screen, lighting it up to reveal the extensive list of missed calls and texts.

“Eve sent you a bunch of question marks then asked where you went. She’s called you probably a million times. Sam is very worried about you and says he’s going to fly back here if you don’t answer him. Uh, whoever ‘twin rockstar’ is called and texted a few times. Ally called. And ‘Rockstar’ called you about… fifty times.” He listed off. All you could do was laugh. ‘Fuck Jake’, you thought to yourself.

“That’s nice. Can I get another shot with my next drink?” You asked.

“Y/n, you should at least tell Eve where you are.” You played with the straw in your cup, pretending not to hear him. He gave up, sliding your phone back to where it was before. After a moment, he obliged to your request, placing both drinks in front of you. You threw the shot back, feeling someone slide into the chair next to you as you placed the glass back down. You looked over, not recognizing the boy now in your company. You weren’t sure if you were too drunk to place the face, or if you’d never met him before.

“Hey,” he smiled at you. ‘Pretty smile’ you noted.

“Hi.” You replied, not really feeling up to making conversation. You kept your eyes on your drink, not willing to look up at him again.

“What are you drinking? I’ll buy you one.” You almost laughed out loud.

“No, thanks. I’m okay.” You told him, taking a long sip from your straw to avoid any further trouble.

“Why, you have a boyfriend?” He asked. It wasn’t harsh, more of a genuine inquiry. “He must be a lucky guy.” He spoke again before you could answer. You looked over to him, an unfamiliar feeling settling under your skin. You opened your mouth to respond, but you weren’t sure what to say.

“Uh, no, I don’t.” You decided in a split second. As the words came out of your mouth, it felt like someone had punched you in the stomach. “Not anymore, so I’m just not looking for anything.” You explained, gloom casting over you again.

“Sorry to hear that. He must be real stupid to let someone as pretty as you get away.” All you could do was chuckle at his statement. When silence ensued again, he took it upon himself to fill it. “If you change your mind, come and find me.” He quickly scribbled his number down on a bar napkin and slid it your way. Your eyes fell over it, almost finding it humorous. Once he got up and walked away, you handed it to Mike after ripping it in half.

“So dark and broody broke your heart?” Mike asked, tossing the paper in the garbage.

“Don’t say it like that. Makes him sound more important than he is. You have to love someone for them to break your heart.” You explained. Mike eyed you, a knowing look on his features.

“I think you’re lying to yourself, honey.” He said, handing you another shot. He was hyper-aware of your state, wanting to recognize when he needed to cut you off. “It’s okay to get hurt. Makes us human.”

“No lies and not human.” You told him, a sweet smile on your lips.

“Whatever you say.” He shook his head, moving on to serve the next customer. You lost yourself in the music playing over the speakers, finally seeming to rid yourself of the overwhelming emotions. Your face was hot and your body felt light. Your head was swimming with words, but none of them came together to make a worthwhile statement. The intoxication had reached a point where all of your inhibitions were gone; it was a dangerous situation for someone hurting so badly. Just because you weren’t currently immersed in the hurt, didn’t mean you weren’t trying to suffocate it for good.

You walked over to the pool tables, grabbing a cue and racking the balls. You sipped at your drink, shooting aimlessly and sinking shots intermittently. After a while, a group of people joined you at your table. You had no idea who they were, or what their names were. You were sure they told you, but you were in no state to remember them. There were a few girls and two guys, and they all seemed super friendly. They were a good tool to pass the time with, or perhaps more of a distraction than anything. Either way, they were buying pitchers of drinks and sharing, and they were quite funny.

As the hour neared midnight, Mike had turned the sound system up as he usually did. You retracted your much earlier thought, realizing that dancing was the best sounding activity at the moment. One of the boys from the group took his chance, moving closer to you and dancing alongside you. Instead of recoiling, you allowed it, ready to reap the consequences later. He twirled you around, pulling you closer to him so your chest was pressed to his. You both sang the song to each other, faces dangerously close. His hand was on your hip, eyes never leaving you. You were having a good time, but couldn’t shake how wrong it felt. Sure, it was fun, but it was absolutely meaningless. You never wanted to feel something meaningless again after feeling what you had with Jake. He leaned in, attempting to catch you in a kiss, but you withdrew, suddenly feeling dirty for even letting another guy get that close to you. You were lost in thought, almost furious again knowing that Jake still had your entire heart. As bad as you wanted to rid yourself of him, you were more terrified of feeling like you weren’t his anymore, or him yours. The thought didn’t last long, because someone grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the group.

You looked to the source of the disturbance, only to be met with the fuming faces of your roommates. You took a moment to process it, blinking hard to rid yourself of the double vision. “We’ve been calling you all night.” Eve said, dangerously calm. “We didn’t know if you were dead, or if you got kidnapped, or what, until Mike called us and told us you were here.”

“Why would he-“

“Do not get mad at him for looking out for you.” She snapped. You felt a wave of nausea run through you as your face burned with heat. “I’m taking you home before you do something you’ll regret.” She pulled you towards the door, not willing to listen to any sort of explanation. When you got outside, the cool night air hit you like a million knives on your skin.

“Eve,” you mumbled. She continued walking, not listening to your warning. “M’gonna be sick.” You told her. She stopped, looking back at you. Her tough exterior faltered, now really seeing the state you were in. She pulled you back in an alleyway, gathering your hair in her hands. You braced yourself with your hand on the brick of the building, heaving until there was nothing left in your stomach. When you straightened up, there were tears in your eyes. Some from throwing up, but more from crying.

You took a step back, leaning your whole body against the wall and letting out the sob you’d been holding back all night. Ally was standing guard at the end of the side-street, making sure nobody could witness your crisis. You were consumed with the memories of the pictures you saw earlier that night, feeling a non-alcohol related sickness in your stomach. Eve dug in your purse, finding a small pack of tissues. She pulled one out and cleaned off your face as best she could before discarding it on the ground. Normally, she’d be appalled at the thought of throwing garbage on the ground. At the moment, she was willing to sacrifice her morals rather than hold on to the repulsive piece of paper.

She brushed the hair from your face, for once being completely unsure of how to help you. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d seen you so upset. “Let’s get you home, okay?” She whispered. You managed a nod through your inconsolable state. She led you back to the main road after helping you take your heels off. She kept a supportive hold around your back, making sure you didn’t stumble and fall. Ally took to the other side of you, also offering her support.

The walk was treacherous and much longer than it should have been. By the time the two girls got you through the door, you were nothing short of a mess. Eve whispered something to Ally that you didn’t quite catch. Then, Eve helped you to the couch and Ally disappeared from sight. Eve took a seat next to you, gently wiping away the tears staining your cheeks. You tried to catch your breath, feeling completely out of control. Within a few minutes, Ally had rejoined the group holding a plethora of items in her arms. She put them down on the couch, making fast work at her mission.

First she pulled out a few makeup wipes, handing them to Eve so she could rid you of the mascara running down your face. When she was done, she placed the wipes on the coffee table. Ally handed her a hair tie next. Eve turned you slightly, combing her hands through your hair and quickly braiding it. “Next parts gonna be a bit harder.” She mumbled. “Gotta stand for me, okay?” You gave a nod. She helped you to your feet, steadying you before unzipping the back of your dress and slipping the sleeves off. When it fell to your ankles, she pulled a large t-shirt over your head. “There.” She sighed. You slowly sat back down on the sofa, feeling the world spinning around you.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, squeezing your eyelids shut. Tears were still making their way out with no sign of stopping.

“I know.” She said, thumb brushing them away as fast as they were falling. “I know you’re hurting. We all do stupid stuff when we’re hurting.”

“I told him I loved him. He said he loved me, too.” You cried, feeling the ache settle in your bones again. “He promised.” You blubbered.

“I know, honey. We’re gonna get some sleep and sober you up a bit, and we’ll fix this in the morning, okay?”

“I’m supposed to go to Atlanta next weekend.” In your drunken state, you unintentionally disregarded everything she was saying. “He said he was gonna take me around the world with him. I knew this was going to happen. I never should have opened up. I never should have let this happen.” You let out a shaky breath. “I don’t even know if he did it, or not. All I know is that it hurts. ‘nd m’so scared because I hate when people have this much power over me.” She knew you were really fucked up over this, because it was nothing like you to come out with all of your feelings so willingly. “I love him. I really love him. I’ve never felt like this before, and it just made me realize that he makes me so happy, but he has the power to take it away whenever he wants. And he’s this big rockstar who can have anybody he wants. All he has to do is say the word. He can have girls who looks like that. Why would he settle for me?”

“Hey, that is not true. Anyone who ends up with you will be the luckiest person in the world.” She scolded, not willing to accept that.

“He’s just… he’s Jake. And he’s perfect. And I adore him. A-and I’m so scared of losing him that… that I feel like I have to leave first, to spare myself from the worse hurt, later, you know?” You hiccuped. “I always do this. M’gonna ruin it for myself because m’always so fucking scared! I tried to get rid of the feeling, to get rid of him, but all of the stuff that usually works just made me think about him even more. I don’t want him to have that power over me, don’t want him to be able to flip my world upside down whenever he wants, but it just felt so good being loved by him and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forget it.” You let your head fall back into the cushion of the couch, completely defeated by how you were feeling. She quickly caught on to the fact that this whole situation may have had a lot less to do with the pictures from earlier, and much more to do with your fear of being in love.

“I know, baby.” She practically winced. She didn’t know the full story. She only knew what Sam had told her, then Jake’s incoherent babbling on the phone when he called her earlier. He was so out of his mind with worry she was surprised he didn’t jump on a plane and fly back just to make sure you were alive. Then, when she finally calmed him down enough to tell him she would make sure you were okay, Josh called and voiced his worry and defence of his brother. Eve was completely in the loop from all sides of the battle, but she had no idea what was really going on. “Ally is going to get the air mattress and we’ll all stay out here tonight. We’re not gonna leave you.” She pulled you into her, holding you close. Ally disappeared once again, off to gather more necessities. Eve rubbed your back, soothing you as you worked through your emotions. Her main concern was you, and it would always be that. Once you were asleep, she’d worry about everyone else.

The two girls banded together to pump up the large air mattress, having to take turns every now and again. Eventually, they had it set up and decorated the top with comforters and pillows. They prompted you to get in, wanting to get you to sleep as fast as possible, hoping if you got enough rest you’d feel better in the morning. They turned on a speaker, playing gentle music in the background so you could focus on something other than your hurt. It didn’t take long for the alcohol in your system to lull you to sleep, soft snores falling from your mouth.

“What the fuck happened?” Ally asked, finally winding down from the eventful night.

“I… couldn’t tell you, really. Sam sent me some suspicious pictures of Jake and another girl. Apparently Twitter thinks they’re together. And you know her, she doesn’t really believe in explanations or second chances. I guess it probably reminded her of last time. And I think she may be using it as a cop out because she’s really in love with him, and that terrifies her.”

“Do you think Jake would do that to her?” Ally asked, genuinely curious.

“He seems to be head over heels for her, but the pictures did seem kind of incriminating. He wasn’t kissing her or anything like that, but he was pretty close with her and she was wearing his jacket. Whoever she was, he looked quite enthralled in her. If i were her, I’d probably be pretty hurt, too. I don’t think she’s wrong to feel upset, especially if she didn’t know about it or who she was before she saw the pictures. I do think she should talk to him about it before running away.” Eve explained. Ally gave a nod. “Jake called me and he was super upset. Could barely understand what he was saying. He was just all over the place. Told him I’d make sure she was okay, but I didn’t ask him about it. I’m on team y/n, always. I’m not going to vouch for him, cause that will only make her mad at me.” She shrugged. “Even if he didn’t cheat on her, she’s still hurting. Maybe a bit more from her internal battles, but she’s still hurting.”

“I get that.”

“Josh called, too, trying to explain on behalf of his brother. It’s just a mess. I hope that Jake does have a good explanation, because I really like them together. But I’m not sure if she’ll listen to him, even if he does. She doesn’t listen to anyone but herself.” Eve chuckled. Ally nodded, knowing that all too well. “She already has the idea in her head, and every one of those feelings are multiplied by a thousand because she’s in love. Like, really in love. I don’t think she’s been this crazy for anyone, ever.” Just as she finished speaking, your phone began to ring in your purse again. Eve pulled it out, inspecting the screen. She sighed, rejecting the call and picking up her own phone. She dialled back the number that called you and waited for him to answer. She didn’t feel the need to completely block Jake out, but she’d be damned if she was going to let you know she was talking to him.

“Hey,” a raspy voice said from the other side of the phone.

“Hello, Jacob.” Eve said.

“Is she okay?” Her eyes looked towards you sleeping soundly on the air mattress.

“That’s a relative term, I think.” She grimaced slightly, recalling the state you had been in. “Alive, yeah, but she’s really fucked up.”

“Okay.” Jake said, clearing his throat a little bit. “I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

“That’s also quite relative. I’d like to say I know, but I can’t.”

“I didn’t cheat on her.” He said firmly. “I’m not cheating on her. I would never do that.”

“Okay.” She replied, mimicking his earlier statement.

“I absolutely know why she’s mad at me. If it was the other way around and I saw those pictures, I’d… yeah.” He trailed off.

“I can’t defend you to her, Jake. She’s been my best friend for years. I barely know you. Even if she’s overreacting, which I am absolutely not saying she is, I’m on her side.” Eve explained. “Unless she did something really fucked up, which she didn’t, and she won’t.” She added quickly, wanting to clarify that she wouldn’t blindly stand up for you in every context. “She’s a spitfire. She goes from 1 to 100 faster than anyone I’ve ever met. Yeah, she’s upset about what happened today, but I think she’s also having a hard time with being in love. She’s scared of it. Always has been. She’s so independent that it’s actually infuriating, and I believe she may be struggling with depending on someone for once. This whole thing might have been the excuse she’s been waiting for, to run away.” Eve explained. “I think maybe if she just saw the pictures, it wouldn’t have been so bad. But all of those Twitter comments were pretty hard to read, and I’m not even dating you.”

“I know. That part of fame sucks. Everyone speculates, and stories spread before we even know that it caught someone’s attention. And I get it. I understand why you and her both feel the way you do. I would feel the same if one of my brothers got hurt.” She did feel quite bad for him. She didn’t think Jake was a bad guy, but perhaps not the best at communication. In this instance, at least. “Can you at least try to get her to come to Atlanta? Just so I can talk to her. I’ll fly her back as soon as I do, if that’s what she wants. I just can’t leave things like this, and I know she’ll never answer my calls.” His words were met with a staggering silence. After a while, Eve spoke again.

“Do you swear on your life you didn’t cheat on her?” She asked, picking at a string that had frayed from the hem of her sweater.

“I promise.” He said, quite firmly.

“Cause if I get her to go Atlanta and I find out you really did fuck her over, I’ll kill you.” She replied as a matter-of-fact.

“I would never do that to her, Eve.” She believed him, for the most part. If he was lying, he was really good at it. “I love her.” He finally admitted. The sincerity in his words took her off guard.

“I’ll try, rockstar. It may not work, and I’m not going to force her, but I’ll try to get her on that plane. Only because I think you guys are cute together, and you made her so happy. She’s never had that before. It took a lot for her to give you a chance, especially after the last guy. If this ends like this, I don’t think she’ll ever recover.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t. And also, this conversation never happened. I’m not defending you, I’m not going behind her back, nothing like that. The only reason I’m doing this is because I think it’s in her best interest. Even if it’s just closure, that’s fine by me.” She warned. “Now think up a real good apology, rockstar.”

“Will do.” He said. There was no room for any more words, because she’d already hung up. Ally gave Eve a look of caution, worried that Eve was going to rock the boat even further. Eve brushed it off, standing and flicking the lights off in the living room. She climbed on the air mattress and wrapped herself up in a blanket. Ally followed suit, both of them falling asleep not long after with the hope that the morning would bring some form of clarity.

TAGLIST: @gvfpal @jakesgrapejuice @hellowgoodbye

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