#lazy cops or whatever) and made them more interesting

[madebypointlesswords]

I watched the first two seasons of Stranger Things, so here's my review (i guess)

ahem

*inspects notes*

a hot mess

*bows*

that is all thank u

[whackk-kermitt]

Dear PenPal

Prompt: Write a story that only consists of love letters.

STRAP IN, IT’S A LONG ONE! Warning: Fluff, No fire, Mention of homophobic Bullying, Mention of Bullying and Harassment, Shameless(steamy)flirting, some sexting(if you can call it that), Some Angst, happy ending Summary: Due to bullying and harassment at Beacon Hills High, the school board came up with the idea to randomly match each student with another and make them write letters talking about their experiences. At the beginning of the day, they will receive their letter, and by the end of the day have to turn in their response(Receiving a letter every other day) They've been asked to keep their letters anonymous.

Important(sort of): I saw a post where someone said high school au's portray Derek wrong because in high school Derek was completely whipped for Paige and I can't agree more. So soft mushy Derek for one, soft mushy Derek for all!!

Certain grammar mistakes are on purpose, these are handwritten letters I'm emulating here. Others. . .I'm just too lazy to proofread- I mean-THEIR ON PURPOSE

≫ ────── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ────── ≪ Dear penpal,

I honestly don't understand why I'm being made to write about bullying and shit when I'm not the issue in this hellhole school. But Mr Harris said if I don't participate he's gonna knock points off my final grade. Does that count as bullying? I think he has it out for me.

Anyway, Jackson Whittmore is a jackass, and I'm comfortable blaming him for all my problems. If this is you Jackass, your daddy's money means nothing and you're pathetic.

Apparently, we're gonna have to deal with each other all year or until the superintendent gets bored and loses all interest in this project of his. I don't see this still being enforced past a month or two.

They don't want us telling each other our names or anything. which is stupid So I need something to call you. You can call me Batman!

Sincerely, Batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

It doesn't matter to me whether we're writing to penpals all year, I'm out of here soon enough anyway. But it's a half-decent idea for kids to hear about bullying and what it can do to someone behind the curtain, it opens your eyes. Really makes you think about what you say to people before you say it. Some kid in my homeroom was excused because whatever his pen pal had confessed to him made him cry so hard I thought his eyes would pop out of his head.

As for Jackson Whitt-whore, I totally agree. He's never bothered me in particular, but he's laid into some friends of mine before and I wanted to rip his throat out with my teeth. I know I have some serious issues, but that guy has ISSUES.

If we're gonna deal with each other all year, or however long this lasts we might as well have some fun with it. Right??

Tell me some things about yourself..

Sincerely, Superman (the best dc hero)

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Superman,

Since um when? As cool as Superman is, batman is easily better by at least a hundred times!! Don't embarrass yourself, buddy.

Was it Greenburge?? I heard something about him crying like a baby down the hall lol

I don't know what to tell you without giving away who I am. I mean I'm pretty unnoticeable unless you know what to look for, and then I stick out like a sore thumb.

I like

comics

food

starwars

reading

reading about starwars

reading comics

the smell outside just after rain

watching garbage cop shows with my dad and making fun of all the shit they get wrong

dogs

curly fires (I mentioned food but curly fries are in their own category because they deserve it)

HATe

Jackson Whitt-whore good one

tinny annoying dogs

when I forget my clothes in the washer and they start to stink and I have to wash them again

sports (only because I SUCK) I like watching hate playing

people who think Superman is better than Batman

lack of personal space

derek hale

fake cheese ruining otherwise perfectly good nachos

What about you, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

First off, not really funny about Greenburge. I talked to him about it yesterday and the person writing to him confessed some pretty dark shit that's been said to them. Videos of them got posted online and how they get picked on in school and online by complete strangers. They mention how they were seriously depressed. (Although he does blubber like a baby, it was valid in this case.)

Second, what did Derek Hale ever do to you?

Lastly, I like:

Superman

Reading

Cooking

Basket Ball

Baseball

Comics as well

Family time

My sisters (don't tell them that)

The idea of traveling

Cats

I don't like:

People with zero work ethic

Bullies

People who hunt for sport

People who are dumb enough to think Batman outranks Superman

People who don't like sweets (can't trust them)

Dirt in between my tose

Mr Harris

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Superman,

Oh shit for real about Greenburge? damn. I feel sorry for whoever wrote him that letter.

Also derek hale is a douchebag jerk face. He used to tease the hell out of me but I guess he's mellowed out this year since everyone is talking about all the bullying and shit their penpals are confessing to.

I try not to hold grudges- dad says its not good for me- but I'm gonna hold onto this one. Derek hale can suck my big toe!

also dude it sounds like you just don't like people.. fair enough I guess I don't either but damn you do have issues

-batman

p.s sorry was in a rush, forgot to write until now school gets out in 5

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Damn.

I'm gonna be out of town for a few days next week, don't sus out who I am while I'm gone.

Also yeah, I don't trust easily. You know the deal with broken hearts. Been burned too many times. But as a result, I love and hold onto people even harder now. So I guess it's a win-lose.

Are you gonna be at the game tonight? Scratch that, you won't get this until tomorrow. Hope you have fun, otherwise, enjoy whatever it is you're doing tonight.

Question: what do you wanna be when you grow up?

Sorry, I'm just trying to think of ways to get to know you better. You seem cool.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Superman,

I seem cool? I'm legit a geek with like one actual friend. People just roll their eyes when I speak I roll them back but whatevr

You wanna get to know me cause im cute ;) or . . . you want to get to know me, so you can sus me out first, huh? Well, the race is on baby!

I haven't really thought about what I wanna be, most likely something in law enforcement. Aim high how about the FBI that would be sick!!

What about you tough guy? any big plans for life?

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

I don't even know what you look like, how would I know if you're cute? You don't know what I look like, so you couldn't even say if I'm cute.

I haven't thought about it much either. Maybe I'll open a bookstore or even a bakery? I'm not sure, those are just two things I like pretty well. Might end up in the family business or as a mechanic.

It's kind of sad now that I think about it; I've never really considered what I am without my family. Whatever it turns out to be it won't be far from home, that's for sure. Hell, I'm down to be a stay-at-home dad even.

That sounds really nice.

Sincerely, Superman

P.S FBI is super cool

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Superman,

I think it's cute that you felt the need to defend yourself about thinking I'm cute. You so think I'm so cute, don't you??

I also think it's cute that you wanna be a stay-at-home dad. Not gonna lie- dads are hot. Sometimes. but like, dude-wife energy you know??

also, just an idea- might take some serious cha-ching- but if you owned your own bookstore cafe you could totally bring your little ones with you to work and it could become your very own family business

i can imagine Superman jr running around like he owned the place.

"do you know who my daddy is, he owns this place, he's Superman"

SUPERCUTE Get it??

Dumb joke never mind

if were on the topic of getting to know each other whats your deepest darkest secret??

-Batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Sure, Batman, you're cute. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

That's a nice idea though, I like it. Maybe I'll aim for that. I wouldn't mind having my babies grow up and take over a shop I built. Definitely need that "cha-ching" though.

Deepest darkest secret? We only just met, you gotta at least buy me a drink first.

I'm a werewolf.

Your turn Batman

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Superman,

you SOOO think i'm cute!! I'll buy you a drink anywhere anywhen.

Also ha ha ha, super funny. but if you don't tell me yours I'm not telling you mine. hmm, you do have trust issues so I guess it's only gentlemanly of me to do it first- even though I'm buying you a drink at some point now.

Um I'm finding comfort in hoping you never ever know who I am when I tell you this

I've been talking to this guy and I kinda like him. We don't really know each other all that well, but from what I do know, there's nothing I don't like. But I'm not stupid enough to fall for that trap again so I'm not gonna bother

Also also “my babies” you're fucking adorable.

-Batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

Hope you didn't miss me too much while I was gone.

I know it's Friday and you won't see this until Monday but how have you been? Do you have plans over the weekend? What did you do over the weekend, I should say? I've been home the last three days so I'm itching to go out this weekend.

I'll be at the lacrosse game tonight, then I'll most likely hang out at the arcade with some friends tomorrow. Someone beat my high score on Pac-Man so I've gotta reclaim my crown.

Anyways, whats been up since I've been gone?

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Fuck you Superman

Not really sorry. I forgot you said you'd be gone for a few days and I thought for a while you ditched me.

Also, I was at the arcade on Saturday!! And just to let you know DRH your score was not hard to beat. Your crown is mine forever champ

What time were you there? What if we're were there at about the same time? Dude that's crazy! I was there at about 5ish and stayed for about two hours I think I don't really remember

-batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Screw you STI,

I left about five o'clock and had to get home for dinner, so we just missed each other. I waisted nearly three hours trying to get my high score back! I finally did it!

And what happens when I go back after your letter yesterday? You're on top again! Screw you. All that time and money for nothing.

I don't know what made you think I'd ditch you before, but now I'm considering it. You are the reason I don't have nice things.

In your wise words, “suck my big toe”!

Sincerely, Superman

P.S your initials sound like damn std

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Haha Superman

Don't be such a sourwolf.

Be humble, dude. Nobody likes a sore loser. Its not my fault I'm better then you, I'm perfect.

But hey maybe if you calm down I can give you some advice. I am perfect after all I give the best advice. And I advise you to take me up of it for the sake of your wolvly-hood.

But if you insist on being a sore loser, I could give you a massage to work out the kinks. ;)

-love yours truly, Batman 

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

“Sourwolf”? Really?

I regret telling you anything.

And don't think I didn't catch that last part. I had to hold it up to the light to see what you scribbled over but I saw it.

If you're so perfect why did you scribble out the shameless flirting? Not confident, hmm? If you're so perfect, why so shy, sti?

I think it’s cute, honestly. But I don't think you could take the heat. I think if we were face-to-face you'd be puddy in my hands. I think your mind would go blank and you'd revert to caveman lingo.

“Huh” “yeah” “mhmm” and a whole lot of grunting.

You're probably so hot under the collar right now you're not even reading this anymore. You're just thinking about us grunting a whole lot. I bet it's so easy to get under your skin.

I wonder what kinds of things you're thinking right now. I wonder if you'll go all day thinking about it. I wonder what you get up to when you're finally home alone.

You'll probably reread this letter over and over won't you, sti?

Can't wait to hear from you tomorrow.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Holy shit dude

Warn a guy before you say things like that. I literally choked on air my friend thought I was having a panic attack

Jeez I don't even know what to say now

What the hell am I supposed to say?

Yeah you're probably right about when I get home tonight though, not gonna lie. Damn dude

We should meet I think..

-Batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Holy hell, I was joking before. Wasn't expecting you to actually get hot and bothered. Thought you were just gonna roll your eyes and fuck with me.

Dude you actually touch yourself?

Like you seriously went home and I don't even know what to say cause I'm not sure if the teachers read these before passing them on. I don't wanna get into trouble.

But I kinda wanna get into trouble.

I regret nothing, hot damn.

As flattered and curious as I am about meeting you in person, I don't think I want it to be just for sex. You know? Like you seem like such a good guy, I don't wanna waste all my time with you on just that.

I want you to like me more then that.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Okay superman confession time I guess. Remember the letter I sent you before you took off? The guy I mentioned liking?

Sort kind of was you…

I said before I forgot you had mentioned not being in school for a few days, so when I never got a letter back I thought you put the very obvious pieces together and stopped writing back cause I mad it weird.

But I guess you're just ditzy cause clearly it when right over your head.

I do like you, I wanna meet you. Maybe at the arcade or something? I could show you how to actually be good at Pac-Man.

Only if you want!

-Batman

PS I DID NOT THINK ABOUT TEACHERS READING THIS OMG

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

That was me?! I didn't even adress it cause I didn't know what to say. I don't have a good track record with relationships and I didn't wanna screw anything up by getting jealous you weren't into me when we've never met.

Holy crap you have no idea how happy I am right now.

I think you're amazing. And I know we've only been talking for a month and it's been mostly banter but I really like the idea of getting to know you better. Person to person.

I’m gonna be honest though, I kind of don't want to cause I don't want you to be disappointed when you find out who I am. I don't think you like me very much outside these letters. I don't even know who you are in the slightest.

I've taken notes about you and tried to figure it out but I'm fucking clueless dude.

I'm nervous to talk new people, actually, anyone, cause I don't know if it's you want I don't wanna drive you away or give you a reason to be any more upset when you meet me.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Superman,

You are the cutest ditz I've ever not met ever. You have no idea how many times I read that letter and GIGGLED. Honestly, I kinda hate you for it now. That was embarrassing in Mr harris's class. I couldn't help it your so fucking cute I swear

I was like a 13 year old girl getting Justin Bieber's autograph. EMBERASSING

but you're sweet so I forgive you.

I'm ready to meet when you are, I don't wanna push you into something you're unsure of. But I want you to know that whatever I may have thought of you before, whatever impression I gave you to make you think I don't like you, it doesn't really matter now.

I know you well enough that I don't think any of that matters anymore.

Unless I hate you in person cause you were a total dick.

Then I think you'll have to make it up to me. ;)

I take smooches as payment for being a jerk

-Batman🖤

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

You really are something special. But do you really think it would all be swept under the rug, just because I made you giggle?

And we've talking about ouselves and our goals and everything but do you really know me well enough to make such a bold statement like that?

I wanna trust that when we meet it will be like a fucking fairytale, but fairytales are never as fun and a hell of a lot more gory in real life. I don't wanna be a downer but I don't wanna be hurt again. I've told you things about myself I've never told anyone. Things I don't trust anyone with.

I let my guard down and if you end up looking me in the eye and you can't stand what you see, then that's gonna break my heart.

Sincerely, Superman.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

I know that you're sweet. I know that you're a family man. I know you want kids and a big happy family of your own. I know you're smart, you always use basically perfect grammar and spelling. I know you're an introvert who like quiet time with friends more then parties. I know you love to cook. Not just because you told me, but because I get the feeling with you shifters that you're a total mommas boy. And mommas boys can always cook. I know you feel things with all you're heart and I bet you pour everything you have into your family and sisters. Even if you don't want them to know how much you love when they fuck with you. That's just what sibling are for- so I've heard. I know you've got enough charisma and charm that you probably have a lot of friends. But only maybe two or three of them would last long enough to be invited to your wedding someday. I know you are poetic, just based on the last few letters. I know you're funny as hell. You've made me laugh a few times. I know even though you seem like a macho sport guy your really a softy. Total hopeless romantic I bet. I know you're a geek like me, a fucking nerd too I bet. I bet you one of the top kids in class. I know my dad would love you. I know you're a werewolf. Which means if I tell you that tonight I'm gonna go to the store and find the strawberry-scented soap or perfume, what ever I can find, tomorrow you'll be able to sniff me out. You'll hear my heart when I walk into a room super nervous, knowing you'll know its me. I know that you care about me. And I know you're smiling like a little kid right now. I know you'll probably read this over and over but you won't tell a soul.

Have fun sniffing me out today, superman.

-Batman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

I know who you are. You weren't lying when you said you were perfect.

I smelled the strawberries as soon as I knew to look for them. Followed it in between classes. Kind of sent me on a wild goose chase for a bit, was late a couple times. The scent traveled everywhere, couldn't tack it. The you came into lunch, you walked right by me.

Your heart was racing just like you said it would be. It looked like you were looking for me too. I wanted to just walk over and kiss you silly.

I ran away like a fucking loser though.

Just got up and left. I'm sorry I'm such a coward. I miss you though. I know you already went home. I'm staying late to right this to make sure you get this tomorrow.

I almost didn't write anything. I didn't expect you to take me seriously when I told you. Didn't expect you to believe in werewolves or to know anything about us. That kind of scared me.

I had a girlfriend before. She had no clue. When she found out, she moved. She was so afraid of me like she didn't even love me anymore. I was a monster to her all of a sudden.

But for you, you don't seem to care. You used it to help me find you. Used your scent to help me find you and you probably don't know as much as I think you might, but that sort of thing makes the wolf go crazy.

Like a hunting game of cat and mouse but without the murder and eating at the end.

Shit, Stiles, you're so perfect.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Superman,

I told you so.

But, my friend got bit. I had to sort through Hollywood bullshit and actual facts to help him not kill anyone every full moon. Honestly if I had known there were wolves in Beacon Hills other than the sick fuck that attacked him I probably would've gone to them to help him.

But he's got control over it know. Full moons are more like a girl's time of the month for him now. Don't tell him I said that. Or your sisters! When I meet them I don't want them to be pissy over it.

But I don't mind. The claws and fangs are kinda hot. Definitely not hot on my friend! Ew

But I got to thinking about that night. I kinda liked it more than I thought I would.

I'm still here superman. You can't chase me away with claws and fangs. ;)

-Batman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

Warn a guy. I read that first thing this morning and I lost control for a minute. Hand to hide my claws in my jacket. You owe me a new one by the way. The pockets are fucked.

I wanna scent you so bad. You don't smell like me and it makes me uncomfortable. I wanna rap you up on my scent and leave you there until you smell more like me than yourself.

On a more serious note, I think its time I ask. I don't wanna pry but this whole thing was supposed to be about bullying anyway. How did Derek Hale tease you? It's been really bothering me since your first few letters. Why do you hate Derek Hale? I mean you don't seem, at least from your letters so far, to be harboring a serious grudge against Jackson, so what makes Derek that much worse? What did he do exactly?

I don't really remember anything that could make someone hate him as much as you do. Yet I'm biased. So, I guess I'm just concerned.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

Oh dear lord you're dereks friend??? That's why you think I don't like you? Cause you hang out with that jerk? this is awful I hate you

No i dont sorry

DO NOT TELL HIM ABOUT ME AT ALL

I'm serious Superman. Please.

I was humiliated by him! I dont want to drag up anything and relive freshmen year, it was the worst. Thank god people forgot about it over the summer and it's been peaceful since.

And don't get all wolfy jelly over it, cause I'm over it. Its all you now baby.

I may have let it slip ACCIDENTLY - i talk alot, my mouth moves before my brain can tell it to shut up- that I sort of maybe had a teeny weeny little bit had a major crush on him. the next day his friends were laughing at me in the halls and there was a note in my locker calling me a fag and shit

This was back before danny made it cool to be gay.

I couldn't even muster up the balls to tell my dad what I was crying about when I got home. I spent all last year avoiding him like the plague and yet I still got mean notes in my desk and locker every now and then

like i get he probably doesn't like guys, and even if he did I'm like a fish out of water on my best days- very clumsy- not the prettiest flower in the garden but let a guy down gently you know??

I just wanna forget about him and his stupid face

-Batman xoxo

Ps I owe you a drink, jacket, Pac-Man advice and you owe me smoches. Am I forgetting anything?

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

Don't be mad. . please don't be mad. Derek says he has no clue what you're talking about. He never had any guy confess a crush on him, and he certainly didn't tell anyone about anything like that. Literally ever.

Maybe someone else overheard and they made fun of you? But I don't know, cause you never told him anything like that. Derek isn't the kind of guy to do something that fucked up. He's an ass sometimes and he knows it but he wouldn't do that.

It doesn't change the fact that you were hurt, and I'm so sorry that happened. Whoever is responsible is twisted and deserves a beating. I'll rip their throats out with me teeth, just give me the word!

Please don't be mad!

Maybe try talking to Derek? I'm absolutely certain he will wanna hear from you in person about this.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

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︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Please, please, please talk to me! Nobody else knows about this and I swear Derek won't tell anyone. I want you to understand that Derek would never in a million years use someone's feelings like that to hurt them. He's a total pussy honestly!

He's been taken advantage of by someone he's gave his heart to, so he wouldn't do it to someone else.

I promise you with everything in me, Stiles.

Derek Hale if not that kind of guy, there's a misunderstanding somewhere. I want to understand what happened. I want to help!

Between you and me, Derek is Bi, not out to his family or literally anyone yet. He wouldn't out you like that.

Can you please tell me what happened? Spare no details.

Sincerely, Superman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Derek wouldnt out me maybe, but you just outed him??? how the hell am I supposed to trust you after I asked you not to say anything and then you did!! THEN you outed your fucking friend.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Yeah, I get how I fucked up there. But Derek was down for it! I let him read the letter and he told me what to say. Think of me as his wingman! He wants to know what happened just as much as I do.

Swear on my mother, Batman.

thats a weird thing to write so sincerely

Yours Truly, Superman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Fine Superman.

First off, why didn't you just fucking drop it! I don't wanna mend anything with this guy cause I want you! Derek Hale is dead to me, a thing of the past.

But you wanna know why your friend is a dick, sure.

I was sort of his friend- kind of only because I knew Cora. It was a best friend's-other friend's-friend's-friend thing- cora being the last one. I don't know we just kind of knew each other and we were chill. and that's how we met. we talked for maybe three minutes at Cora's birthday party last year and then I literally only saw him from a distance at school. but I was whipped okay.

I mean have you seen him?? he's fucking perfect. totally unfair

We ended up in a group project though, even though he was out for the week- family emergency or whatever it was. But the group got everyone's phone numbers down to go over shit, and thats how I got his number, and we started talking- like literally every night for a good two weeks. I let it slip on night when we were going back and forth fucking with each other that I liked him

I was gonna play it off like as friends or whatever but he said he had to go and then blocked my number.

The rest is history.

Stiles out

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Stiles,

What was the phone number?? Are you sure you got the right one? Derek never got any texts like that! I swear he wouldn't do that to you. Ever. Not you.

If we can sort this out then you'd see where it all went wrong. And you won't hate him anymore.

I wanna make this right.

Sincerely yours, Superman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dude why does this fucking matter? Its not like just because we’d potentially be a thing doesn't mean I have to be buddy buddy with all of your friends. I don't care about whatever happened between me and Derek fucking Hale. I don't give a shit about him. He's old news, loser boring basic news okay.

He's a jerk and there is no way in all his time hanging out with that asshole that called me names and beat me up, and told everyone I was a freak and a fag that he didn't catch on. He had to have known something was happening because the whole school knew it was happening. He may have not been the one to call me those names. Or break my arm and nose. He may have not been the one to tell Jackson all about how I thought he was pretty and smart or whatever I was hyped up for but he still knew I was getting shoved, jumped, and dragged through the dirt.

And just like everyone else who watched, he said NOTHING. didn't step in didn't stop it, nothing.

He may not be a bully, but he's a bystander which is so much worse Superman.

I was hurt and alone and at some point I let myself believe it was actually my fault. I don't care about Derek Hale anymore.

I don't wanna think about him.

If you wanna keep being his bud then whatever defending him and shit go ahead. I won't stop you.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Superman,

Haven't heard from you in two weeks. I've been reading your letters over and over. I miss you. I'm sorry I kind of blue up on you in that last letter.

I ended up taking a lot of things out on you that I shouldn't have. I'm so sorry. I never talked about any of that with anyone, so I kind of just bottled it up. And you poking and the damn broke. Its not your fault.

You just wanted to help, and your stupidly sweet for that.

My feelings for you haven't changed at all. I still wanna be with you, and totally school you at Pac-Man. I wanna argue over Batman VS Superman. I wanna meet you and smooch and cuddle. I wanna go home smelling like you. I want your sisters to like me. I wanna do stupid romantic shit that makes you blush and get all cute.

I want you to talk to me again.

I miss you so much.

Sincerely Yours, Stiles xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

ps I guess I owe you kisses for being a jerk now

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Stiles,

You're really gonna hate me after this one.

I asked around about it. I don't hang out with those guys anymore. You were right, their fucking bullies. I don't know how I never noticed. They were always so cool and nice when I was around. But I guess you weren't their only victim. Basically, the whole school thinks those guys are assholes. And so am I by association.

You never had my number. You were taking Greenburge the whole time. He told Jackson and them about it and they said they thought they were doing me a favor.

If you hadn't been given the wrong number none of this would've happened.

Meeting you last year would've saved me from a lot of pain. You make me feel at home in my skin. I meet Paige at that party right after you. But you never seemed to notice me and Paige did.

When she saw me as I am she made me feel like a monster, I hated myself for it afterward. Still do. I felt like being born the way I am would cost me everything. Like id have to settle for someone who was just okay, because they're a wolf and they get it. Like I was robbed of being with someone as amazing as you because I was a monster.

But here you come, and you're so fucking perfect, Stiles. You make me feel whole again like I can trust my wolf again. I trust you with every part of me.

My anger, fear, loneliness, my love.

I didn't want you to know who I was while you hated my guts. I didn't want you to look at me like I don't even know. I wanted to clear up the misunderstanding before we met in person is what I'm saying. I want you to like me so bad it hurts, Stiles.

Cora made fun of me for crying when Mom put strawberries on our pancakes the other day. I didn't tell anyone about you. I couldn't. Didn't know how to think about you without feeling like shit.

I never wanted to hurt you but I did anyways. I'm so sorry sorry.

Sincerely, Derek Hale

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Derek,

Saw Greenburge with a cast and broken nose. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you? I know you've been suspended for fighting the past few days. But I know you'll be back here today so

I just wanna forget about this. I wanna just get to the good bit where you're all over me because I'm so fucking perfect.

heres my number xxx-xxx-xxxx text me so I can actually have your number this time.

With Love, Stiles

ps meet me in the locker room during lunch so we can be alone

I'm gonna smooch you so hard ≫ ────── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ────── ≪

Part Two (Comming Soon)

•Kermitts Masterlist•

[nobodypunk]

Avatar Way of Water Jumbled Thoughts SPOILERS AHEAD

So initially, it was very pretty. Visually stunning. We all know that.

I was so happy to see Jake and Neytiri again, I was pumped to just to be on Pandora again. I’ve split up my opinions in sections:

This Family is a Fortress:

I loved seeing Jake and Neytiri’s family. I loved the song bead opening and the ending, that was a very nice round way to tell the story. The kids all had their own distinct personalities and stories to tell which I feel can be hard to portray in sequel films especially with more than one kid. I loved Jake’s balancing act of being a father, I love that Neytiri didn’t lose any of her grit while being a mother. I will say I felt it was very strange for them to leave the Ometikaya. The planet is under threat again, I know it’s personal, but I felt like them leaving the people we spent an entire film with to fend for themselves was unnatural. I would have been down for a whole clan relocation, but whatever. I do think their refugee angle was compelling and it offered that “whole new world” angle to it. Neteyam and L’oak’s relationship was very nice, very much early Prince of Egypt vibes, I could sense as we got closer to the end of the film that Neteyam was for sure going to die. But again it was very round and it was pretty well done. Kiri, my little nature girl, I love. I loved her vibes, I live for Sigourney, but I’ll get back to her later. Tuk was precious baby, in too many dangerous situations but I guess I’m not mad if it gave her more screen time. Aaaand Spider, I liked having a child raised by scientists involved with the tribal lifestyle of his peers. I wish that they had utilized that more. I’ll also get back to him.

The Colonel Debacle: Attack of the Clones:

Quaritch…. I am so mad about everything to do with his return and the “sky people” narrative in this film. First of all, in the first film they express that making an Avatar body is extremely expensive and a huge undertaking. They invited Jake in the first place because his DNA was compatible with his dead twin’s Avatar, so they wouldn’t just be pouring their money down the drain. And again, this was a mining endeavor, it wasn’t military. All the “military” we see are mercenaries. So why would a mining company put replicating their expendable mercenaries high on their spending list? They wouldn’t. Just like we saw, the new colonization attempt just brought in more military force, so why bring back a team of 9(?)mercenaries that died into specific Avatar bodies?(Also felt like there were a lot killed, but too many of them by the end of the film?) The plot tries to explain it away “to be bigger, stronger, to blend in with the natives” not once did they blend in though (THEY WERE BAREFOOT IN CAMO???), not once did being Avatars actually bring them the upperhand. AND just plugging in memories to the body, why didn't they do that with Grace? Or Jake’s twin for that matter? I also feel like Quaritch would be SO against cloning in general! “It’s not the real me” blah blah blah Let alone in an Avatar body! Also BALD SUNGLASSES GUY??? REALLY??? Sorry, I’ll die on this hill. What made Quaritch a good villain is that he was a weapon of mass destruction, evil and toxic masculine to the core and he just kept coming. His death was so satisfying in the first movie because of it. It feels like such a cop out to bring him back, all satisfaction lost and it really just looks like little Jamie C couldn’t write any other villain and that’s lazy.

Okay so they’re clones and they’re there. Now you have identity conflict, I feel like if they were going this route, have the clones have a moral and identity crisis to the CORE I would have loved that narrative of realizing that their original selves were wrong. But Quaritch, while we did see some struggle in identity, decided to have a vendetta against Jake Sully! It was interesting to see his interactions with Spider, still feel like OG Quaritch wouldn’t give two shits to learn the language (he didn’t in the first place) or about “becoming Navi”. And I’ll talk about some of my issues with Spider as well here. I felt like he needed to show more motivation about showing them to be Navi to grow their sympathy, but it felt like show and tell. I also felt like he should be more reactive and more upset at everything they were doing, it felt like he was just watching and strangely apathetic most of the time. Quaritch burning that village to the ground and deciding to go after the Tulkun instead of just murdering everyone felt out of character, but that can all be traced back to— this is a clone. Quaritch was a genocidal maniac and I expect him to just be exactly that. I don’t exactly want to go on a sympathetic redeem the villain story with him (even if his clone “didn’t do that”). I don’t hold it against Spider for saving the clone in the end but I am mad at Jamie C for keeping him around. I am so done with Quaritch’s story. I was more than done in the first movie, let alone this one.

SKY PEOPLE. So I felt that the threat of the sky people was FAR GREATER in this movie than the last because instead of just “we want the rocks you're sitting on” it’s just straight up old fashioned colonization!! They are coming for the planet!! I don’t understand why this film wasn’t about nipping THAT in the bud, you didn’t need Quaritch, that would have been compelling enough. The way they landed, cLEARING the forest with fire NEAR the Ometikaya homeland was HORRIFIC, but the plot treats it like whatever. Though it makes a little sense (ahem MARS) for Humans to want to settle here, I still think it doesn’t make sense? The air is toxic, the wildlife is huge and dangerous, I just don’t think Pandora is “the promised land” GO SETTLE ON TITAN OR SOMETHING. I can make room in my brain for a mining mission, but full colonization? No thanks. General Lady had smaller exoskeleton armor because Lady, was so fun and she was just there to explain stuff. I was expecting there to be some differences in the suits and technology too, given the time skip. Jamie C was like I LOVE SPIDERS AND 3D PRINTERS. And I still don’t understand the Avatar Marine’s mission. It just felt like a personal murder party??? Like no real orders???? I’m just generally mad about all of these decisions. They felt lazy and under-baked. I WAITED 12 YEARS FOR THIS?!?

Kiri is Avatar Jesus:

Kiri, Kiri, Kiri… While I love her… I have some issues with how she came about and her role. Kiri has come from an intubated version of Grace…. (though I do not remember Grace’s Avatar body dying. I can see if they put her in stasis but it seemed as though this was a clone) Clone gets pregnant…. So (iF this is Grace’s original Avatar) either Avatar Norm and Avatar Grace were messing around for science or Eywa was like guess what I’m not bringing you back to life but I’ll make your Avatar preggers with my spiritual baby ALA Bible style. OR if this is a clone, somebody was just messing around in the lab. Either way science immaculate conception needs to stop please. I would have almost preferred it if Grace meant so much to Jake and Neytiri that they implanted one of Grace’s eggs in Neytiri. (which is still weird but not as weird as space jesus ANAKIN ALREADY TOOK THAT SPOT) 

And Kiri’s Eywa powers. It’s really screaming white savior yet again. Kiri is born of an Avatar, not native and yet again Eywa has chosen an alien to be her chosen one. It’s just bad. It isn’t right. 

I also thought her Epilepsy was going to play a bigger role in the rest of the movie but it was just a plot device for Quaritch to find them?

The Metkayina:

THEY ARE SO COOL I’M ALL ABOUT THE EVOLUTIONARY CHANGES TO THEIR BODIES, I LOVE THEIR ARM FINS, TAILS, AND LARGE RIBS FOR BREATHING. On a sciency note, I found it interesting that they chose to make their tails swim left to right like a fish instead of up and down like an aquatic mammal. I loved the ocean, I loved the quiet moments we just got to explore and soak in the surroundings, I loved the sign language and the breathing. I was all about it. FREE WILLY SIGN ME UP, I WANNA TALK TO WHALES. The Tulkun were so charming and I loved them. THERE’S ALWAYS A BIGGER FISH. But yeah, big big fan. I wish that we got to see some female friendships? Jamie C is big sexist. Neytiri disappeared for much of this part. I wanted to see Kiri and Tsireya vibing, and Ronai and Neytiri finding common ground as Matriarchs. 

Ferngully 2: Whale Hunting Palooza Electric Boogaloo Payakan’s Revenge:

So the new colonizers are here for unobtanium 2.0 (even though they sound like they’ve been here for a while, even though the sky people were driven out???) We went for the forest in the last movie, now it’s time to go after the animals! We have the hunter that is here to be way too excited about poaching, and the scientist that has been a part of this the whole time but is Jamie C’s favorite trope of “sympathetic moral high ground scientist who has no accountability whatsoever because the big mean corporation is paying him to do it”. It’s just so tired. I hated unobtanium 2.0, magic gland fluid that stops human aging????? Like come on, I could get down for a stupid rock with a stupid name, but really????????  Payakan’s revenge was satisfying. I felt like the Metkayina disappeared randomly after that.. And with Quaritch going after the Tulkun, and ultimately attacking the sea people, it was still kinda Jake’s fault for endangering them. I feel like if they just lived on an island close but separate from the people, it would have worked out better??? Idk

James Cameron and casting problems:

Jamie C didn’t fix any of his writing issues with indigenous people. It was still white savior, take advantage of indigenous narratives, and sexualized native women. And at the end he was like “I directed Titanic, remember????” Man with everything he put Neytiri through I was surprised she didn’t turn to Jake and go “I want a divorce”. 

I also have major issues with the casting. I was fully expecting at least mixed boys playing Neteyam and L’oak but they were WHITE! And Kate Winslet is wonderful but she was playing an indigenous islander woman??? I just think it was a big mistake and honestly it kept taking me out of the movie. 

His action sequences are great but the plot was very convoluted and he definitely needs a wake up call to fix his narrative, work with native people, and cast people of color. Zoe’s back hurts from carrying both of these movies.

[namandabu]

It's about the efficacy

"The sole intent of Shakyamuni Buddha to appear in this world was to spread the teaching of the Larger Sutra of Immeasurable Life."

This isn't a direct quote, but it is an idea that is repeated in Jodo Shinshu teaching over and over again. It is part of what is so hard to accept about the Jodo Shinshu teaching, coming from the west.

I'll be honest, I grew up with simultaneously a very secular upbringing, while also having my own interests in mysticism and western esotericism that, admittedly, gave me a very inaccurate image of religious experience because while I read all of this stuff, I never really practiced any of it. I knew a lot of book knowledge, but I was all armchair, no meditation cushion.

When I finally decided to get serious about religion (I.E., when I started taking Buddhism seriously), I was bad at it, naturally. Meditation was fun in bursts but anything more than 5-10 minutes made me dread it. I was too overactive. I still am to be fair. And then I found Pure Land Buddhism and I had two conflicting impulses, one of which won out in the end it seems. The first, was to scoff at it, as if it were not "real" Buddhism, whatever that means coming from an arrogant westerner. The second, was to feel as though this was a form of Buddhism that spoke to me as I am now. I'll address the first impulse, then the second.

The first impulse came from a number of things, such as how the after-death aspect of Pure Land reminded me of Christianity which I had long ago thrown into the wastebasket of my mind as a religious feel-good cop-out, mostly out of anger at some of its more "vocal" supporters. Or that the practice of chanting and relying on other-power felt lazy, as though I had any right to make such a claim, as some armchair esotericist, who had never engaged in any kind of truly intensive Nembutsu practice. And to be clear, if these were my feelings for Pure Land more broadly, you can imagine my utter disdain for Jodo Shinshu, which does not even require any intensive practice at all! And to say that this is the sole intent of Shakyamuni Buddha? When Vajrayana exists and yields enlightenment in this lifetime? I did not buy it at all.

Looking back now, I cringe at my arrogance and prejudice, both towards Pure Land Buddhism, and towards Christianity. Because Pure Land Buddhism (very much including Jodo Shinshu) is a full and complete path to Buddhahood that is suitable for practicers of all capacities, and I should not have painted all of Christianity as a bad religion just because christian extremists exist and this ideology is a problem in my country. And if Christianity and Buddhism have overlap, then that isn't a measure of what Buddhism gets wrong, its a measure of what Christianity gets right. Because even though I'm not a Christian I know for a fact that a lot of people, from laypeople to clergy, old and young, get a lot of peace and fulfillment from their lives as Christians, and that deserves respect.

Fortunately, the second impulse won in this internal battle. I decided to follow my intuition, rather than my preconceived ideas. I was lead by this to Amitabha. And though I scoffed, I could not help but to just try reciting his name. Just a little bit. I attended a few chanting services online. I did chanting in my practices at home, when I did them, and more and more I wanted to understand Pure Land Buddhism. The more I practiced, the more I felt as though I was at home in my religion. Saying Amitabha's name became a positive experience for me. And when I tried to leave it behind, I felt lost. Eventually, I gave up on seated silent meditation altogether. I wasn't doing it anyway, and thinking about Amitabha can be done anytime anywhere, so I just let my OCD brain run with it. It was as though I didn't have to practice anything, it was like walking or breathing. And this continued despite my lack of keeping of the Precepts, despite my lack of regular ritual practices, despite my own internal inconsistencies and prejudices. Amida was and is, someone who can be relied upon. Nowadays, Amida and I communicate regularly.

And that's the crux of the matter, isn't it? It's about the efficacy of it. You read these Sutras, and if you have my attention span, not the entire thing, but everywhere you go the Buddha is talking about Great Compassion, the Bodhisattva Vows to save all sentient beings, and all the ways that can happen. And in every verse, it is all about enlightenment as the dynamic activity of the intent to save all beings. And when you look at it like that, and you read just the beginning fasicle of the Larger Sutra, you realize it makes sense:

"The sole intent of Shakyamuni Buddha to appear in this world was to spread the teaching of the Larger Sutra of Immeasurable Life."

Were it not for the Jodo Shinshu teaching, as well as Pure Land Buddhism more broadly, I might not even be a Buddhist today.

[liamarmitage]

Gil Scott-Heron wrote, “The revolution will be televised.” Matt Dinniman wrote, “The apocalypse will be televised.” Damien Hanson and Joseph Phelps did not write, but should have, that the apocalypse will be marketed. 

Currently the Shopaclypse Saga, or BuyMort books as they are often known, sit at a series of six and is complete. I listened to the first five books on Audible and then read the last one on Kindle Unlimited as the audio is not out yet. 

Since I have one complaint about the audio I also want to list the positives and let's get all of that out of the way to focus on the story itself. The voice work was done by Wayne Mitchell who I thought was excellent. A central theme of the protagonist is their endurance and working through physical trauma. Not original I know. And a mechanism of the story, a literal mechanism within the story, allows them to survive incredible physical damage. The text to emphasize the experience is repetitive during scenes which in prose you can visually skim but Hanson diligently grunts and strangled screams making it difficult to listen to at times. 

There are six books in total:

BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona (Shopocalypse Saga)

BuyMort: Smart Shopper: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona (Shopocalypse Saga)

BuyMort: Rise of the Windowpuncher: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona (Shopocalypse Saga)

BuyMort: 30,000 Leagues: How I Merged to Become Nu-Earth Affiliated (Shopocalypse Saga)

BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem: How I Cornered The Multiversal Monopoly (Shopocalypse Saga)

BuyMort: Closing Time: How I Crashed the Multiversal Market (Shopocalypse Saga)

The plot can be summed up as a multi-dimensional Amazon comes to Earth and as absolute capitalism takes over the human race all but dies off. I'm going to be honest, the first book is a rough read. I know quite a few people who did not make it all the way through. I felt it picked up in the second half and the protagonist we had absolutely no reason to follow in the first half started to become interesting. The sheer passivity in the first half made for the worst kind of character - boring.

Yet, the diligence pays off and I found myself sucked in. Make no mistake - this story is more LitRPG than Scalzi despite the premise, a fact they even make fun of indirectly. The main character has to level up and collect gear. The races of the universe have some twists but little distinguishes them from their fantasy counterparts such as beholders, gnolls, hobgoblins and dark elves. There are definitely nihilistic elements and if that isn't our cup of tea, walk clear of it. 

If I had any single complaint, the series is almost too simplistic. The bad guys are lazy and stupid and lack any nuance. They are cartoon baddies.  However, the challenges are often not so simple and whatever faults the series has did keep me wanting to know what happens next as Tyson Dawes, one time slacker and steward of a run down campground in Arizona becomes a warlord determined to challenge a nebulous entity that runs the multiverse itself. 

There is also a lot of what some people might call white dude rage but anger against capitalism, environmental damage, media influence are well founded. Be warned there is a strain of libertarianism that runs through I didn't agree with. 

All in all, I've been debating between 3.5 and 4 stars. The series has enough flaws, that I can't get into without spoilers, that I'm not sure 4 stars is warranted but 3 stars indicates average and that didn't seem fair to it, as it does rise above mediocrity. And I hate fractional numbers, it feels like a cop out but I am going to give this a 3.75 and admit that feels like the most accurate value.

[lunaxriax]

"Hmm. That's what I've been doing for years, though. Following the wrong path. Then again, I turned out alright. Well, more or less anyway." She chuckled softly. When he put his hands up, she reached out to swat at his hand a little. "No! I'm not working on pushing you away. I'm working on not doing that!" She pouted a little, shaking her head. "Well, worst case scenario, I would have possibly died. However, I could have also ran back into the club or called for one of the bouncers." Jinae shrugged her shoulders slightly. She wasn't really one that gave such things much thought, to her it was more of a 'it is what it is' kind of thing. She just goes for it and deals with the aftermath later. "But what if you don't have time to think about such things? I mean, let's say there a guy that runs at you with a gun. You're not going to ask him, 'sir, can I have a moment? I need to think about whether it's worth it or not.' You just do whatever your instincts tell you at that moment." She hummed a little. "You're so cute when people give you compliments! Looking all flustered and what not. Really precious." She grinned at him for a moment, smiling softly afterwards.

"If only that was the reasoning for all cops to become one." She smiled a little, turning a little more towards him as he went on. "That sounds tough. In many ways. I guess failing people is a much bigger wake up call than fucking yourself up. So what would you advice someone who does have control over it, though? Like someone who could function properly with it, someone that you wouldn't even be able to tell they were on drugs. They can't really get a wake up call, right? Because they're doing good nonetheless, well in other people's opinion then I mean." Perhaps she shouldn't have been asking so many questions. It wasn't fair towards him, since he mentioned it was a struggle everyday. Yet she couldn't help herself. She would never discuss these things with anyone, but he made her feel comfortable enough to do so. "You do have control and you do got this. I mean, look at you, you've managed well so far. Even if it's a struggle, you don't give up." She spoke softly. "Sometimes there's plenty of negative things in the world that make thinking positively quite difficult though. Sometimes when you live life the way you want, it doesn't always work out that way for everyone."

Even despite the tough topic they had discussed merely a moment ago, she couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped her with what he had said. "It was a very interesting episode of Drake's car talk. We should do it some time again." Jinae winked at him and finally got out of the car. Taking his hand in hers, she gave it a gentle squeeze and smiled. "I have to do way too many exciting things on a daily basis so yes, I do enjoy some boring moments when I can have them. Well today you don't get to do work events. You get to be lazy and do boring stuff with me."

“I wouldn’t follow what’s bad, follow what makes your heart skip a beat and keeps you at the most peace and positivity, then in time it paves a new path and shows you want you want. Being in survival mode tends to block that out.” He replied looking at her. Putting his hands up a bit he laughed. “You’re working on pushing me away?” He said in a teasing tone laughing once again. Looking at her he smiled nodding. “Just facts.” He chuckled once again with a faint grin on his lips. “And who knows how badly that could have turned out if you did and I wasn’t there eh?” He questioned. “Sometimes the ‘if’ in a situation doesn’t count. That’s there you need to think a head, is it really worth risking my life? I know sometimes it just happens and you can’t stop it. Though that’s the risk.”  Drake rambled a bit but listened to her while his lips curled into this smile. “What?” He laughed flustered. “Eh well thank you Peaches.” He smiled not sure how to reply to compliments, even if he did like dishing out complete others he didn’t know how to take them. 

“One of the reasons I wanted to become a cop, so help and get people back on their feet in the right directions they need to take to get to that point in being sober. Life can be its own high, you just have to find it.” He looked down for a moment. “Started using once the band was getting really popular then It wasn’t till I had a show in Vancouver that I realized I needed help, I couldn’t get in the building because I was just too fucked up. Couldn’t talk or hardly function. It was then when I failed the most important people in my life that I realized I needed help.” He moved his hand putting his finger in his bottom lip rubbing it. “It’s a fight I deal with everyday to not pick up and go back to that time in life- it is also a blessing to think more on it and see how much you fucking hated it. It doesn’t get you anywhere a head but backwards, gets you in with the wrong people, the wrong crowds.” He moved his hands waving them. “I have control I got this.” Drake chuckled and shook his head. “Time, time has control. “Only thing you get is left behind if you can’t find it within yourself to admit you’re defeated and need help. It’s a stab rip and tear of your ego that everyone so dearly thinks is something to boast about but it isn’t.” Drake chuckled a bit sighing. “Spent a long time in negativity, it’s great to make a cautious effort to think positively and live life happily, the way you want it.” 

Taking a deep breath, as much as he did talk about his road to becoming sober it wasn’t easy though it’s a road Drake encouraged anyone and everyone who used to take it. It’s enlightening. Smiling a bit he opened his car door chuckling a little. “Thanks for coming to this episode of Drake’s car talk, stay tuned for the next episode.” He teased laughing a little getting out of his car closing the door, walking around and opened the door for her. “I’m glad you do, most exciting things I do when I don’t work is work events.” He laughed once again. 

[libraryofloveletters]

A June Wedding

Evan Buckley x Reader 

Warnings: alcohol and the consumption of 

Category: Fluff 

Word Count: 2.8k

Author’s Note: idk what this is, I opened the doc and just started typing, so yeah // the flashbacks are set two years ago, when y/n meets Buck. The end is back to the present

---- 

From B: I was thinking about you.

From B: I miss you. 

The phone sat in your hand, you stared down at the message on the screen. It had been months, maybe longer since you met him-  2 years to be precise. 

The two of you had a weird friendship to say the least. One of those “will they, won’t they?” kind of things. Everyone seemed to notice how the two of you were in love except the two of you. 

Your story starts in a hole in the wall coffee shop two years ago, when Buck comes in after his first shift at the station. 

*Two Years Before* 

Tired and hungry was a typical look you saw among the folks who came to your shop. It was downtown LA and there were a lot of businesses around including station 118. 

Among your typical morning crowd, there were people in suits and ties, the few hippies/skater crowd and your favourite, the fire-fighters. 

They were your favourite not because they always had larger orders but they usually left big tips and were super sweet. 

It was around 9 in the evening when the bell on the door chimed as it was pushed open. You were closing up for the day but the ‘come in, we’re open’ sign still hung on the window that was ideally supposed to be taken down an hour ago. 

Pulling a tray of cookies from the oven, you were startled by the door considering that you thought you locked the door. Peering from the doorway of the kitchen, there was a man by the counter, staring up at the menu board. 

“Hi,” you smile, hesitantly stepping towards the counter from the kitchen. He glances down at you and smiles, mumbling a hello. 

“Uh, we’re actually closed right now.” you inform him. 

His brows furrow, glancing over his shoulder at the window. “But the sign-” “I forget to take it down.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry, I’ll- okay, I'm gonna go.” he looked.. disappointed. He pulls a phone out his pocket and sighs. You take that moment to study him. A grey sweatshirt and a pair of jeans, there’s a hat sitting backwards on his head and a duffle bag tossed over his shoulder. As he turns to leave, you notice the 4 letters written on his hat in bright red - LAFD. 

“Hey!” you call out, “You’re a firefighter ?” 

The blonde smiles and nods, “yeah, I started today actually. The guys at the station were talking about the coffee shop down the street. I didn’t get a chance to come during the day so I thought I'd come now- but I can come back another time, you’re closed”

Waving off his statement, you pick up a cup from the counter. “Nonsense, I'd never turn away one of the city’s finest.” you smile, he chuckles. “The city’s finest is more of a cop thing.” he tells you. 

“Is that so ?” asking, you begin looking through the fridge to see if there was any milk, he hums. 

“I think you’re pretty fine yourself” you mumble, standing straight when you realize what you’ve said. Your back was to him, a blush burning up your face. 

What you didn’t know was that Buck was blushing too, a pretty person like you calling him fine was surely going to make him blush and that it did. 

Clearing your throat, you turn to face him again. He was looking anywhere but at you for the moment. 

“What can I get you ?” 

“What do you have right now ?” 

“Just about everything, except for baked goods. I usually put those in the oven in the morning but I do have a tray of cookies if you’re interested.” 

“That sounds good,” he smiles at you. “I’ll take a cookie and uh-” glancing up at the menu, “whatever is your favourite drink” 

Humming, you turn and head to the kitchen to get two cookies for him and then begin mixing some coffee and creamer in a cup, along with ice and some caramel sauce. You ended up making two, one for him and one for you. 

The man was sitting at one of the stools by the window. He was watching the cars drive past. “Here,” you slide the plate over to him and set the cup beside it. 

He smiles, “thank you. How much do I owe you ?” he asks, reaching for what you assumed was his wallet. “Oh, don't worry about it. The register is locked and it’s your first time here, I wouldn’t have charged you anyways” 

“You don’t charge first time customers ?” 

“Only the firefighters, y’all hold a special place in my heart” you laugh, he smiles once more. 

“Are you in a hurry to leave? I can take it with me if you are.” 

“No, you're alright. The cookies are warm, I just took them out when you got here.” you sit beside him, taking a sip of your drink. He also takes a sip of his, you watch as his face twists and he smacks his tongue to try and figure out what it is. 

“I call it the y/n special” filling him in, his brows furrow. “It’s basically just caramel ice coffee” a small laugh passes your lips as you take another sip.

“I’m y/n by the way.” “I’m Buck” he smiles.

--

From that day, Buck was a regular in your shop. You made him a regular coffee before his shifts, 2 cream and 3 sugars - you've come to realize he had a bit of a sweet tooth.  After work, he’d stop by for an iced coffee and a cookie. You’d always keep some in the back for him. 

This became a routine, you asked him for his number so he could let you know when he was on his way to work that way you’d have his coffee ready if he was running late. 

Most mornings you’d just get an ‘coming’ or a little fire truck emoji letting you know he’s on his way to work. 

Over the next year and a half, the two of you became close. All the guys that came in from the station always teased you about your “boyfriend Buck” although he wasn’t your boyfriend. 

The two of you were close, you hung out all the time - when Buck had days off, he’d still stop by the shop for coffee or just to see you even though he lived in the opposite direction. He would also pick you up after work when you could walk home because you lived down the street. 

You often stopped by the station when you knew they were on a 24 hour shift. Buck would text you hourly with whatever he was thinking about, especially during the nights when most of his team was asleep and he couldn’t. During those 24 hour shifts, the last few hours kicked their asses, everyone was tired and too lazy to move to do anything about it- those were the days that you headed into the shop early to get some stuff together to take over for them. 

Over time, the affection between the two of you became clear to everyone but the two of you. 

You only really noticed you liked him after his unfortunate run in with the fire truck and his promotion which you decide to celebrate with him. 

There you were, a bottle of champagne in one hand and a bag of Thai takeout in the other - the perfect thing to celebrate his new- temporary as he kept reminding you- position. 

He had invited you over to watch a movie but life was short as was recently reiterated after Buck’s “getting stuck under municipal equipment” phase as the two of you joke. 

“Hey!” he smiles at you when he opens the door, immediately noticing the bottle of champagne in your hand. 

“The nice stuff,” he hummed, stepping aside so you could come in. You set the bag on the counter with the bottle before venturing further into the kitchen to find glasses. 

“What are we celebrating ?” he watches as you tumble through the cupboards. 

“Y/n?” “What ?” 

“What are we celebrating ?” he asks once more. 

“Do you not own any champagne glasses ? All I can find are solo cups and those ugly ass mugs you have.” sighing, you grab the solo cups knowing his answer already. 

“Y/n/n, I'm a 20-something year old guy living by himself-” “What makes you think I have such things?” finishing off the sentence for him which makes him laugh. 

Setting the cups down on the counter, you push the bottle over to him. “Would you be so kind as to do the honours?” you hop onto the counter. Buck peels the casing from around the top and then shakes the bottle. 

Your brows furrow, “that’s going to make a mess-” before you finish your sentence, the bottle pops. 

The cork ends up somewhere in the apartment whilst the very expensive champagne is sprayed everywhere. Buck just so innocently titled the bottle your way, soaking you in the liquid. 

Laughing, you pull the bottle away from him. He's standing in front of you when you grab his chin, pulling him towards you. Your left hand is cradling his jaw and leaning his head back to pour some of the champagne in his mouth. You over poured and split it on his shirt. 

The two of you were a laughing, sticky mess and the bottle was already half way empty. He held the cups out for you, letting you pour some into each cup before handing you one. 

“Okay, now will you tell me what prompted the champagne showers ?” he smiles, leaning against the counter next to you. 

“Well, life is short. You’re a fire Marshall now so, I’m here to celebrate.” 

Buck smiles at you, he wasn’t the biggest fan of his new job to be honest. Sure he liked it, but he’d do anything to be back out in the field. 

Your arm stretched out, “So to you Mr. Evan Buckley, wait should I say Fire Marshall Buckley ? Anyways congratulations my love, you deserve the job but if the power goes to your head, I'm putting you in your place.” laughing, you bump your cup to his. 

“To a speedy recovery and hoping for your return to the field soon because you’re driving everyone mad. Cheers!” 

Both taking a sip before Buck hops up onto the counter beside you. He shifted slightly, making a gap between the two of you and pulling the bag of takeout to the spot. Dinner was had on the counter, eating straight out of the containers.

“Bobby would be so upset if he saw us right now.” Buck mumbles, his mouth full. 

“Mhm but he’s not here. He doesn’t have to know.” 

A few moments later, his phone began ringing. He pulls it out and his eyes widen. There’s a confused look on your face, waiting for him to give you some context or tell you who’s calling. Finally he shows you his phone. 

Bobby is calling. 

“You summoned him!” Buck shouted. You resisted the urge to laugh. 

“Answer the phone!” 

You watch as Buck answers the phone, holding back his laughter at the conversation moments ago. He looked happy, you loved seeing him like that. The way his eyes glimmered when he smiled that million dollar smile of his, how his curls showed when his hair was wet or if he hadn’t cut his hair in a while. 

It was the little things that made you fall in love with him. 

He was still on the phone when you decided you’d find something to change into. 

He watched as you made your way to the bathroom, coming back out shirtless with a towel in your hand, drying off. He noticed the way you took a step every two steps like he does. He could hear you humming from upstairs, the way you went up in pitch when you saw something you liked or how you’d stop in-between to start whistling. He smiles to himself as he ends the call. 

He too had fallen love with you somewhere along the line. 

----

You watched as the little bubbles popped up on the screen on and off for the next few minutes. 

Today was your wedding day. 

You hadn’t spoken to him all day, things had been hectic. You promised to see him before you got married but truthfully, you had been so consumed with planning and making sure everything was ready that you didn’t get a chance to. 

Your friend comes in, sticking their head in and smiling at you. “You ready ?” they ask, you hum before taking one more look at the phone. 

“As ready as I'll ever be.” 

It was a hot summer day in June, you and your fiancé had decided on an outdoor wedding considering you had always wanted a June wedding. 

Standing at the end of the aisle, each side of the yard was filled with people you loved and cared about but your love was smiling at you on the verge of tears at the altar. 

Resisting the urge to laugh at him, you smile as the music begins playing - your cue to make your way down the aisle. Making it to the end without tripping, you smile at him. 

“Hey,” you smile, reaching for his hand.

“You look beautiful” he smiles, he leans forward to give you a kiss when a hand against his chest stops him. 

Bobby gives him a disapproving look, “I’ll be fast but you gotta wait to the end to kiss them, Buck.” The statement earned him a laugh from the crowd. 

The heat was getting to everyone including the two of you so Bobby skipped over the unnecessary parts, letting the two of you say your vows. 

You started, your hand giving his a squeeze. “The day you walked into the shop, I thought ‘damn, I'm gonna die. Why do I always forget to lock the door?’ but little did I know, it was going to be the love of my life walking in. From the moment we sat down and started talking was the moment I knew you were the one- you made me smile, laugh, gave me butterflies but you also made me feel safe, like I could tell you anything and you’d always be there for me. I watched you walk out with the promise of coming back in the morning and I knew then, we were gonna have a June wedding.” you laughed. 

“You taught me what love was, how to be happy, to never give up no matter what life throws my way because for the last 2 years, that’s what I've watched you do and I'm so incredibly proud to be marrying you. There’s no one else for me. It’ll always be you.” you smile, blinking back the tears. 

“How am I supposed to compete with that ?” he hums, giving you a grin. 

“Everything about you is.. perfectly imperfect, in every single sense of the term. You strive for perfection, but you come up with a slightly different version every time and I love that about you- like when you run out of breath while singing you start whistling so you don’t lose the melody, it’s the little things that make me love you. You hold the stars and the moon, you’re my whole world y/n, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You make me a better man and I could never thank you enough for that.” Both of you are about to cry, looking at each other with the most love and adoration in your eyes. 

Bobby cuts to the end, both of you now impatient and waiting for him to announce that you were officially a couple and the moment he does, Buck pulls you towards him, kissing you like it was the last time he was ever going to. 

The sound of clapping and cheering filled your ears, making you both smile as your made you way back down the aisle officially as the Buckleys. 

---- 

taglist: @advicefromnixxxx @dralexreid @keenmarvellover @beth-winchester21 @fernandaweasley2 @yikesyikesyikes95 @hotchsdarling @duhbar1975 @hailsstormthings @averyhotchner @captainxholmes @venusrosepetal @luke-alvez @looney-literature @caitsymichelle13​ @artemishunter18 @multibuckley 

[prophxtslash]

Hi there! So a while ago, you posted your thoughts on how certain survivors would thirst over slasher - reader. I absolutely loved them! If you’re interested, can you please share your thoughts on Leon, Felix, Kate, and Jill thirsting over slasher reader? If not, please feel free to disregard my ask!

Of course I can! I was going to link the others here to read as well, but I'm lazy lol

Killer!Reader

Leon Kennedy

Like many survivors within this predicament, Leon is in vehement denial over the ordeal. Being as someone who has a high set of morals, the idea of having any semblance of attraction towards a ‘killer’ leaves the young cop nauseous, his conscience screaming at him to snap out of this lovesick stupor.

When in trials with you, Leon has a hard time doing his job properly, fumbling with wires and needles when within your radius, a slight flush to his ears as he forces the feeling down, the need to protect the others trumping any attraction towards you. However, whenever he is the last one standing, his feet trip over themselves and his eyes dart back to you more, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest.

Leon wallows quite a bit, agonizing over his descending sanity and moral code, and even though many other survivors (especially those who have been here for far too long) assure him that this is actually quite normal, he continues to beat himself up over it. Nights at the campfire alone consist of fingers pressed hard against his scalp, head hung low and knees pulled flush against his chest.

Eventually, everyone gets found out in the end, and Leon is no exception. You’ll have to quite literally corner him into an admission, his breath uneven and hot as he presses against the wall, his eyes darting to everywhere but you. Force the words out of him, through any means, and he’ll be left a crumbling, shattered mess for you.

Felix Richter

While others may struggle with this type of attraction due to morals and the like, with Felix, it’s a bit more complicated, given that he not only ‘technically’ still has a girlfriend, but also a child, so initially, the guilt of practically abandoning them plagues him

Had it been another survivor he was engaging with in this sense, it wouldn’t have been as bad, but given that you’re one of the many responsible for a large part of the suffering he and the others undergo, Felix can’t help but feel even worse. This is a person who hurts and even kills him on a daily basis, yet here is wishing to be closer to them. He’s disgusted with himself, disgusted for his family even, yet he can’t bring himself to pull away.

When in trials with you, Felix tends to keep a level head, putting the objectives ahead of whatever feelings he may be harboring towards you. However, when alone with you, he sometimes slips up, wires becoming tangled and pallets barely slammed down, his body taking over for what his mind cannot keep up with.

Every chase (or lack thereof) must come to an end, so when you’re finally able to corner him, to get up close and personal, Felix falters, his eyes locked onto some horizon right above your shoulder, his fists curling and uncurling.

Kate Denson

Kate has been here far too long; hell, she still remembers the time where it was only her and a handful of others. As such, being in the Realms for too long changes you, changes the way you feel. Once a realization is made, Kate more or less shrugs; if it helps cope with this hell, then why not?

Kate, regardless of whatever may be bothering her, is always able to pull through for both herself and others within trials. If anything, this constant routine of surviving and dying has become second nature, her mind wandering to you and what you may be up to even when in the middle of chase, or even when dangling from a meat hook. This almost daydreaming of you offers a temporary escape from the uncertainty that is the realms; regardless of how inherently wrong it is.

In a sick way, her fascination with you stems from a desire to help you; that if someone were to simply listen or even just be there, you’d turn away from the darkness, so to speak. She believes that you’re not inherently evil, yet not inherently good either; she believes you’ve just been presented with no other options.

Unlike others, Kate would actively seek you out within your realm, the pressure from keeping this fascination secret building up. Whatever outcome is reached, she is ready for, and should you readily accept her admission, she’d dedicate herself to you, determined to save you from both the Entity and yourself.

Jill Valentine

Where Leon crumbles and agonizes, Jill refuses to even acknowledge the swelling feelings within her, forcibly shoving it down to never see the light of day. Sure, she’ll internally beat herself up about it, but not another soul will ever know that she’s weak enough to fall prey to this.

As such, trials come and go, and Jill never falters, never sways when faced against you. It could even be said that she does better when against you, her need to dominate and beat you trumping all else. If she can’t beat these stupid feelings out of her, it’s enough for her to glance back and see you seethe in the exit gates, your knuckles taut against your weapon as you watch her escape.

Should she even dwell on her fascination for you for even a moment, Jill will plummet, her mind immediately swallowing up any interaction the two of you had shared from previous trials, from the smallest, brush of your hand against her back to your face inches from hers, her vision going in and out as you tear into her body, the meat hook laying barren a few inches away. These desperate pleas for intimacy leaves her rabid, leaves her curling further and further into herself.

Much like the others, you’ll have to force Jill into submission, the meat hook piercing her shoulder in one plunge, your ears ringing from the shrillness of her scream. Force every obscenity, curse, and yell from her, and eventually, you’ll be gifted an uncharacteristic quiet, her shoulders sagging as her admission comes out in a whisper. After this, she’s broken and malleable, leaving you to do with this new found relationship as you please.

[queenofzan]

anyway here are my fallout opinions, abridged:

fallout 1 excellent. v good. disappointed they copped out and made it “easier” by getting rid of the timer. absolutely not a game i could play today but had i access to it when it was released i would have...probably not gotten very far unless i watched someone else play it first. i was even worst at video games as a child. WHATEVER GOOD GAME GOOD WORLDBUILDING FUN

fallout 2 very good. again sad to see so much stuff cut or dummied out and it being more linear in some ways BUT extremely fun to see the classic sci-fi villains “people who had privilege before The Event” show up and be assholes, and also explicitly believe they are the Real United States (and not like. everyone they left to die and fend for themselves in the former united states). UNFORTUNATELY fallout 2 started leaning more into some racist bullshit that enabled later very racist bullshit. like i see where they were coming from in fallout 2 but. they did it badly and enabled future Worse Shit. president robot was not as fun as the master

fallout 3 was a slog tbh. not opposed to the change in format and gameplay style but the writing was SO BAD. i don’t want to be the protagonist’s son and follow around the guy actually doing shit! i also don’t want a FALLOUT GAME to railroad me into siding with anyone but gosh you sure can’t do shit to the brotherhood of steel in this game bc you have to have them for the endgame. lazy. did have some very good classic fallouty quest lines. also a huge fan of introducing in-game radio, i’ve been a sucker for that since watching danny play gta

fallout new vegas is the love of my life, the light of my soul. has some problems but the political situation and developing worldbuilding is delightful. i love the fact that there is no clear “good” choice, there are legit real and thoughtful and narratively consistent downsides to everyone you could side with. the choices that are best for your character are not necessarily what is best for the people around them, and they feel real enough that it really can make you feel guilty about letting down the ones and zeroes. caesar’s legion is one of the most interesting fictional representations of both the strengths and weaknesses of absolute rulers

fallout 4 is definitely better than fallout 3. i am still yelling about these basic-ass failures of science fiction premise awareness and genre conventions but it’s not nearly as bad as the literally bad writing of fallout 3. it also is trying to have more nuanced factions with competing needs again. not doing it as well or as tightly as new vegas or like. fallout 1, but it has some truly kickass companions and the fundamental hopefulness about humanity that the trekkie in me loves

“ani i thought you said these were your abridged opinions” i’m a wordy bitch and this IS the short version

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

The Mask 1994

*I finally wrote the whole thing. I finally watched the movie that involved something I’ve been talking about A LOT. I think this took about an hour since I finished the movie. Forgot to mention Charlie.*

I wanna make this clear, even before I watched movie or ever writing this. I am legitimately a stupid and lazy person. Because my mom told me about this, and last week, my dad rented A Quiet Place Part 2. When I was trying to go to sleep but was looking up movies...I literally forgot my tv can do that too...and that I can rent or buy a movie...I rented the movie this morning, and deleted it afterwards...after all that talk...I could’ve done that...wow. I should do that more considering some movies I wanna see or like. Not too much though. My tv has DirecTV. Just a heads up.

But a few or couple of minutes ago, I finally watched The Mask film from 1994. This post is gonna be filled with spoilers and it’s gonna get long. Gonna be kind of a review. My overall thoughts on it. This was my first reaction to the whole movie.

I’d just wanna talk about this too. I like comic books, I like comic book movies. Mainly my favorites are ones like all of Zack Snyder’s DCEU movies, Spider-Man 1 & 2, The Suicide Squad 2021, Wonder Woman 2017, The Dark Knight(Despite whatever issues I have with it), and Joker 2019. Yeah, those are mainly DC films and two Marvel related ones. I don’t even mind Spider-Man 3 as well. I also forgot Dredd 2012 is another one of my favorites. Along with Batman 1989.

I was hoping The Mask could make that list of favorites. Because I read the comics first. I don’t think I ever watch the movie fully as a kid MAYBE. I’m a fan of the comics, I know this movie was gonna be a lighter take on the series. 

In a nutshell...I liked it. It’s possible it will be on that list of favorite CBM’s...but I want to talk about it. I’ll also admit I think what got me interested in seeing this film and this series was me liking Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura...now, let’s get to the point.

Yeah, I liked it. I thought the movie was genuinely entertaining. Despite seeing some clips before. But also Ryan Hollinger’s video about it. Revealing the ending, the twist, and other stuff. But I didn’t wanna watch more more that I haven’t seen yet.

I will be honest, it still made me laugh. Even some scenes I already have seen. I will admit, the Cuban Pete scene is actually one of my favorites. XD But what also surprised me is that at times, despite being a funny film. It can genuinely be touching in a way. And I am mainly talking about the developing relationship between Stanley and Tina.

I just wanna talk about the characters right now. I’ll just admit unless I haven’t already. I’m a Jim Carrey fan. Mainly because of his more goofier roles. Particularly his roles from the Ace Ventura movies, Liar Liar, and especially Sonic The Hedgehog. I also will admit this, Jim Carry nails playing Big Head or who they call...The Mask in this movie...I’ll nitpick about that later.

But yeah, Jim’s entertaining as Big Head in this film. He does make me laugh. But I think another role he does well despite there are some sillier moments, which is fine. I feel like in a way, Stanley Ipkiss in this version, is maybe one of his more normal roles. But I know I’m wrong considering whatever other roles he’s in. He portrays a likable good guy who’s sadly mainly pushed around. Which is quite the difference from the comics, except being pushed around. But that’s another topic. Yet for this story, even if maybe Stanley’s name could be changed. But him being a genuinely kind guy works for this story.

Even before I saw the movie, learning more about this version about the character. I can relate to Stanley in some ways honestly. Which is something that I like. He basically shines as a protagonist. 

He portrays both sides well. Despite at times...honestly, this Stanley is wacky. I shouldn’t be judging. Jim does a good stuff with what he played, and he’s the highlight of this movie. He also delivers possibly my favorite Jim Carrey line of all time now. Sorry if I get this wrong. I was looking for a clip of it to help me.

“Daddy’s gonna go kick some ass”. A literal line from Jim Carrey in this movie and I love it. He even brings a pistol with him.

I also wanna admit Peter Greene as Dorian is pretty good as a villain. The dude can be threatening and he works with what he is given. And he’s effective as an antagonist. I just wanna admit that I swear, one of these guys. One of them could’ve Walter in a way and I just think that could’ve been possible. But I’m not sure. Just one of Dorian’s henchmen looked like a huge guy. It just got me thinking about Walter from the comics.

Will admit, I think Kellaway is fine. And I just found out Christopher Reeve was one of the actors considered for the role...damn. But again, Kellaway was fine. He’s more like a supporting character and again, this is like an origin story. I do feel bothered Lionel Ray wasn’t added but replaced with this Doyle character. I will admit that Doyle is silly, which is the point of his character. I guess the writers and director didn’t want two sensible cops or something. I like Kellaway alright, but I’ll always dig Lionel too.

I really wanted to get this point. I thought Cameron Diaz was good as Tina Carlyle and Amy Yasbeck as Peggy Brandt. I will admit, I do strangely like the subversion with Peggy in a way with it’s twist. I get the idea if that it was going for that theme of, “We all wear mask” and Peggy turning Stanley into the mob said a lot about her character. While Tina was genuinely the one that truly supported Stanley.

I think was surprised me more was the fact despite Peggy turned in Stanley for selfish purposes such as paying for her condo. Yet what surprised me more was she was actually concerned for Stanley being killed, and didn’t want him hurt...which explains even more why she stuck around in the cartoon. And honestly, it makes me glad the director took out that deleted scene of her getting killed. So she wasn’t that heartless.

Also...it made me think that...my ideas and changes towards her character...maybe hold some weight.

I’ll just put this out there too. Milo is great, one of my favorite fictional dogs maybe. Good dog.

Trying to think what else, the score was fine. But the licensed music was good or something. Overall, I think my negatives could be just...nitpicks. Such as the Big Head part I wanted to talk about. Listen, I understand this is a different version. I just feel it’s weird to call him, “The Mask” instead of Big Head. I know other characters mask in their name or something. But...some reasons, the name Big Head is there. I guess it’s because of the title or something.

Honestly, I think my negatives are more that it feels short. And maybe Stanley becoming Big Head a bit too early. I sound kind of stupid, I know. But this was the 90′s and whatever else. This was a different take on the comics. But I did genuinely like it. Maybe I’m just a bit attached to those comics. Despite knowing the changes they did.

But I will admit, considering the development for this film. And learning that it was meant to be a horror film. But the director Charles Russell found the violence in the source material to be off putting. So he made it less grim, and more fun. I’ve also read somewhere that trying to make comedy with that violence was difficult.

Back to the point, to be honest. I feel like for that time and age. A more light Mask film was maybe the best choice to go. And we wouldn’t have Jim Carrey in it. I do also wanna say, I feel like The Mask series, you can do a lot of it. You can have something dark with it, or maybe more lighter.

There are still some of those darker elements. Mainly considering the moments with the gangsters and all that. But I will admit, learning that Charles mostly directed horror films. I think it’s impressive he made a more family friendly film and it worked. 

I liked it, despite my love for the comics. I thought when writing this, maybe some folks reading this may think I sound like fans who read the comics who first experienced this movie. But the film isn’t bad, it’s just a different take and a pretty nice one at that.

And to be honest, as much as I would of loved to see an actual sequel. And not that bad film known as Son Of The Mask. I understand why Jim Carrey dropped out, and I would’ve loved to see Peggy back because the director planned to bring her back reformed. But I feel like this film works as a one off in a way. And there’s also the cartoon, which works fine as a sequel despite some differences. Yet...I’ll admit, I would’ve loved The Mask 2 if we got Jim Carrey as Stanley again fighting against maybe someone like Walter.

The Mask 1994 is a good film. Despite changes from the source material, but the changes for this vision work. It’s cool this film has a cult following, and the fact I have used elements and story beats from it for The Mask Rebirth stuff I’ve been talking about. Even before watched this whole movie.

It’s a genuine fun flick. But I’m hoping down the line, if Warner Bros stops being fucking stupid with how they run things. Maybe we’ll get a reboot or how about an animated film that seems more true to the source material. 

I know The Mask/Big Head doesn’t have a big legacy such as the likes of Superman, Batman, and Spider-Man. But I do think this series could be reimagined and expanded upon. Using elements not only from the original comics, but even the movie and cartoon. 

And...despite it was because of Ace Ventura...I would like to thank @kaijuguy19 for being such a supportive dude, and talking about this franchise with me. Including wanting to talk about this movie long ago when I haven’t seen it. But I want to say...no...he’s one of the big reasons why I’m a fan. Because he’s one of the only guys I know who’s a fan. It started with Ace Ventura, but it was because of talking with Kaijuguy that I guess things started to escalate. So thanks man for talking about this stuff with me.

Also, Charlie was silly and he was fine as a character. I forgot about that dude despite wanting to talk about him. Gonna tag him too in case. Charlie schumaker

[shihalyfie]

Adventure and 02′s production philosophy and its impact on the storywriting (or: “a series made with love is best understood with love”)

It’s hard to really judge a series too much by its production details, but Adventure and 02′s staff has been very open about discussing background and production to the point we’re able to involve it in discussions. In fact, to a certain degree, we’ve gotten rather reliant on said production notes to explain too many things that weren’t clearly depicted or stated in the series -- I’ve spent a fair share of time complaining about how frustratingly subtle this series is -- and you see a lot of strange conspiracy theories or myths about production that circulate in all sorts of different directions. Undeniably, it’s a series that spoke to a ton of people, but there are still so many things that have perplexed people over the last two decades, and when you ask someone “what’s good about this series?”, people struggle to say it in clear words, often only able to resort to a rather oversimplified explanation like “the character development is good” (but what is character development, anyway?). A lot of times, some small things that initially don’t seem to track have led to some pretty wild, far-reaching fanbase-endorsed theories, when in fact the actual reality of the situation is much more mundane.

I think, in general, the best way to “understand” Adventure and 02 is simply to have an open mind about everything in regards to it. This is something I can only say because we currently have more than enough evidence, given production testimony, that this is the kind of series that was made with that kind of philosophy -- I will not shy away from the fact that there are things in this world that are made maliciously, meant to “one-up” the audience or using half-baked explanations as a way to cover up the fact that it wasn’t well thought-through. But in the case of Adventure and 02 specifically, almost everything we have heard about it is to the contrary, and, in practice, I find one can get much more out of the series by adjusting one’s mindset to think about what they’re looking out for and not, because once you have, the beauty of the series opens itself up even in places you’re not looking for it.

Let’s talk a little about the production philosophy behind Adventure and 02 and how it shaped a series that left such an impact on so many kids, and what we can learn from it!

“Something important that we wanted to tell the kids who were watching”

The two most important figures to know when it comes to Adventure and 02 production are its producer, Seki Hiromi (who would eventually go on to produce Tamers and Frontier as well, along with being supervising consultant on Kizuna), and its director, Kakudou Hiroyuki. I would say that both of these figures are probably the most influential people in shaping the series as we know it, but in different ways -- Kakudou was the one most responsible for building the world of Adventure and 02 and setting up the standard for having all sorts of background worldbuilding details that weren’t shown in the series, whereas Seki was the one who pushed for them to include family backgrounds and things that ought to be relatable to the average kid, so that they could empathize with the problems shown on screen.

Both of them had different ways of going at it, which is all for the better because it allowed the story to be enriched from both sides, but the common thread between the two was that they wanted to use this opportunity to “show the kids important things”:

Kakudou is the kind of person I would say is very “media literate” -- he was very well-read in books and well-versed in cinema, not just Japanese but also internationally, and also very in-tune with the Internet by the standards of a director in 1999. (Part of the reason we know so much about Digimon production now is that he still keeps up with everything on social media and throws in a few comments here and there.) His comments on the final episode of Adventure include a list of all of the things he credited for inspiring him during this series, and he later stated that he had a goal of conveying all of those “interesting things” to the kids watching, so that they could also find it interesting. So in other words, Adventure and 02 were basically his love letter to everything in media that he’d come to appreciate.

Seki was the one who pushed for humans to be involved in the series so that the audience could empathize with them, and for all of the “real world worldbuilding” like the kids’ family backgrounds. She’s also functionally responsible for the base premise of 02 at all, having been thoroughly alarmed by the story of a young boy skipping grades into university (to the point this plotline resurfaced a whole 20 years later in Kizuna). It can be said that the heavy “human drama” elements and family background emphasis continuing into Tamers and Frontier are probably her doing, and in terms of Kizuna, she also was responsible for personally vetting the dialogue to keep the kids in character, and it was said that it came off like she loved the characters as if they were her own children.

The result is that, firstly, Adventure and 02 is a series that is very well-thought through. Ridiculously well thought-through, in both background lore and character backgrounds and mentality. So many surface-level criticisms of Adventure and 02 come with an accusation that the writers were “lazy” or “did a writing cop-out”, but we actually have more evidence that the Adventure and 02 staff thought out so many details in the background that they kept forgetting that they hadn’t actually told the audience about it yet. (No, seriously, there’s a thread of official staff repeatedly forgetting that they may not have actually outright mentioned one of the background details they’d planned out in advance.) Even despite all of the extra information we’ve gotten since in the drama CDs and Animation Chronicle and such, it seems there’s still way more information that was planned out that we still haven’t learned about, and it’s presumably why there are so many little things that are too consistent to be coincidental and yet were still never actually stated. It may have been awful at communicating those details well, but those details were most definitely there, and both series have a shocking amount of consistency in adhering to them.

The second is that not only did the producer and director want to convey those important things, they also encouraged the rest of the staff to do it too:

One of the concepts behind the prior series was for us to pack in as many interesting things that we’d seen, heard about, or read about as we could into it, so for 02, we thought, what else could we put in beyond even that?, and so we looked over what we needed to have, and put in all the things we could so that they wouldn’t be left out, and the story became a multi-layered one, overlapping and accelerating. It was to the point that, after we’d gone through 02‘s story, the scriptwriters told me that they’d worn everything they had out to the ground.

So in other words, Adventure and 02 were basically a sort of potluck where they encouraged everyone on staff to come up with interesting things that they wanted to show the kids, and throw it all in -- and it’s presumably why the second half of 02 is so “crowded” (more on this later), because you had everything from all of the writers on staff adding another thing into the potluck, until everyone could get it out of their system. Yoshimura Genki, one of 02′s head writers, said outright that she used the famous 02 episode 23 to convey her concerns about some very real and horrible things happening to kids at the time, and it’s easy to imagine that all of the other writers and staff members were given similar encouragement to do so. Even the (in)famous 02 episode 13 was something originally created from Kakudou seeing Dagomon, thinking he was really cool and wanting to make an episode about him, and remembering that Konaka was good at Lovecraft and basically going “he’s gonna love this, we should get him to do an episode.” In fact, it’s said many times that a huge attitude behind production was to “not be ashamed of anything” and try whatever they wanted.

Which means that the result is a series that isn’t actually all that well-organized in plot or structure -- 02′s plot writing is of course an infamous pile of knots, but even those who are willing to be a bit more critical of Adventure often point out that its plot is simply more linear, being basically a video game-esque boss rush of “evil enemy, followed by even more evil enemy”. Most people do not watch Adventure or 02 for the actual plot writing. What they do watch it for is all of this stuff mentioned above -- that all of these different people on staff were given the question “what do you want to say to this audience of kids?” and took the opportunity to say something fun or meaningful. And, hence, why it’s best to understand Adventure and 02 not necessarily by the minutiae of its plot, but rather, “what was this series trying to say?”

Writing the series as it went along, under massive constraints

In general, Japanese anime is produced as it goes along -- even the character writing is subject to change depending on the voice actors’ performance (this was cited for Adventure specifically, but it’s well-known common practice for non-adaptation anime in general). That said, Adventure didn’t even have a guarantee of how long it was going to be at first -- it was generally expected that it’d be a one-year series (like most Toei series), but they weren’t even sure about it. This resulted in a very “loose mindset”, in which they decided to basically wing it, and the only thing determined for sure was that the epilogue (that we now know as the 02 epilogue) was going to be at the end of it.

As I mentioned above, scrutinizing the plot of Adventure too closely reveals that it’s not actually that coherent of a narrative, just more linear -- and, even by official admission, Hikari wasn’t planned to be the eighth child at first nor was the Tokyo arc of episodes planned to be that long, and yet this entire section is one of the most famous parts of Adventure. A lot of the best parts of Adventure and 02 seem to be the result of sheer accident...

...Or was it accident? Can you say that “going in with a positive mindset and a desire to do something meaningful” is accident? Even if you didn’t plan things out from the beginning, if you go into everything with an attitude of wanting to make the best out of something and make the best out of opportunities you see and hear about, is that really an accident? Couldn’t you perhaps say that this kind of thing is why Adventure and 02 hit so well with people to begin with?

By the time we get to 02, 02 started off as a very different series from the get-go, and it’s always struck me as very odd that people act like 02 was tacked on and didn’t have nearly the exact same staff. It was Kakudou himself who petitioned for 02 to start off with a light atmosphere, and the series itself was fundamentally meant to be addressing the new concepts of “relationships” instead of Adventure’s “self-assertion”, and explore concepts that hadn’t been covered in Adventure. The reason 02 is so different from Adventure is exactly because the staff didn’t want to rehash things for another year, and instead wanted to take the opportunity to cover stuff Adventure didn’t. And the fact that 02 is lighter than Adventure at first, but quickly gets darker, is also by design:

The story had gotten rather heavy by the time of Digimon Adventure, so we decided to make it come off as brighter. And then, it actually ended up getting even heavier somewhere down the line, but there was no way we could just avoid depicting important life problems.

Which is also a similar sentiment reflected by Seki herself, when thinking about how her suggested plotline ended up making the story darker:

An overly intelligent child, prone to falling into loneliness, cut off from his friends and family, and with a Digimon slowly coming and staying close to him…I remember that kind of image forming. We were supposed to have been aiming to have them going to the Digital World with the mood of a picnic, but the fact it didn’t end up so easy for them may have been my fault…or so I remember thinking as I reflected on it.

02 didn’t get dark for the sheer sake of getting dark, and in fact it’s not like the staff necessarily wanted it to get that way, but there were so many meaningful things that they wanted to tell the audience of kids that they allowed it to. It’s also kind of odd how the fanbase has this idea of there somehow being staff conflicts or people bickering in order to produce 02, but there’s no indication of this at all -- at most, 02 unusually had two head writers instead of one, Yoshimura Genki and Maekawa Atsushi, but it was even said that they had a clear division of roles, with Yoshimura on the “villains” side and Maekawa on the “protagonists” side, and there’s no sign of conflict.

(A lot of people also tend to give more credit to Yoshimura since the villains are some of the most masterfully crafted part of both Adventure or 02, but this is still somewhat reductive; Maekawa is very open about the fact that he was rather inexperienced during 02′s production, and considering the fact that the 02 protagonists aren’t nearly as underdeveloped as the fanbase claims they are, and Maekawa would later go on to write a PreCure entry that basically saved the franchise and a very well-acclaimed Super Sentai entry, both with many parallels to 02, his role should not be discounted, especially since 02 is often liked by its fanbase for the duality between both its lighter and darker sides.)

So we had the staff basically on a roll of throwing in everything important they wanted to say to the kids, both “fun” and “meaningful”, and then, two things impacted the way it ended: firstly, they weren’t allowed to go with their initial proposal for the final enemy because it was too gory, and secondly, the decision was made midway through that they would not be making a third Adventure series, and would have to end more quickly than expected.

I think, whenever you hear stories of “we were originally going to do this but couldn’t,” people generally tend to assume that they should have done the original plan (especially if the original plan was particularly gory or brutal, because everyone loves to think that edgy is better), but, perhaps fittingly for a series that’s about not drowning in past regrets of “what should have been” and learning to move on, the staff has never really shown any indications of really, thoroughly regretting any of the decisions they made for 02, even if the second half came out messy. If you look at that original proposal they had for 02′s final enemy, in which it would be an enemy “reduced to an idea”, it certainly explains a lot about why BelialVamdemon was defeated by the power of sheer positivity in the final ending -- obviously that would make a lot more sense with a conceptual embodiment of malice, instead of a returning enemy from the prior series -- but at the same time, that loss of that concept led to the creation of Oikawa, Archnemon, and Mummymon, which have consistently been praised as one of the most compelling parts of 02 and its finale, and Yoshimura herself even gushed about the concepts they got. So it’s not “we couldn’t do what we wanted,” it’s more “we couldn’t do what we initially wanted and made something out of it, arguably an even better something in certain ways.”

And as for the lack of the third Adventure series, all indications point to the fact that this was something by personal choice of the staff, not by higher-up mandate -- not that I enjoy speculating about other people I don’t know, but if you actually follow what Kakudou has said about his work on Adventure and 02, and the fact that he considers his later work on X-Evolution to functionally be getting everything else out of his system (even saying that he liked Bandai doing a lot of the work for him), Kakudou doesn’t seem to want to be the main leader of his projects for the most part, mostly seeing Adventure and 02 as the one time he got to dump all of his one-time ideas that he personally wanted to accomplish, and otherwise being satisfied doing episode direction work for others -- testimony as to the handoff between 02 and Tamers consistently depicts him as expressing sentiments similar to “please let me have a break.” (As of this writing, he still does work for Toei, but has never been lead director on a full series since.) Kakudou didn’t like having to deal with a bunch of increasingly canon-contradictory works because, as an infamously detail-oriented and consistent person, dealing with that kind of thing didn’t really seem to agree with him, and moreover it’s understandable that he (and the other staff) would feel that it was better to end it there instead of overstaying its welcome and stretching things out.

Certainly, when you look at the second half of 02, its plot is “crowded” in nearly every direction (not as incomprehensible as people like to claim it is, but definitely going in a lot of places at once). The infamous 02 epilogue is probably the biggest example of the disparity between staff thought and how it came off; remember that it was one of the first things decided about the series at all, meaning that the staff was deliberating over it and under the impression they were building up to it for a whole two years, but when it finally dropped everyone was blindsided and even often made accusations of the staff coming up with it at the last minute while drunk or something (not helped by the staff clearly being so fixated on their own production that they even included details that were completely incomprehensible to anyone not aware of the potential third series plotline). Yet, ever since then, many people who have sat down with it have figured out that it’s not that incomprehensible and that many of the aspects of it make sense on a theoretical level or are foreshadowed in the series -- it’s just that they tacked it onto the end of an excessively crowded finale with no warning and didn’t sufficiently communicate their reasoning for it, requiring people to spend the next 20 years puzzling it out and Kizuna to come around to drop even more clues, and also failed to realize that one of humanity’s most die-on-a-hill issues about media (shipping) would make people a lot more offended than they likely intended. (PreCure has successfully pulled off “adult timeskip” epilogues in recent years, and they’ve all been received well, but the difference is that they actually pad out the episode with a proper lead-up instead of just chucking it in your face right after Oikawa dies.)

And, ultimately, the staff has never shown any signs of having regret over this. Kakudou takes the stance that they were able to close out 02 in a good way, despite all of the circumstances. The rest of the staff, including Seki herself, and overall Toei as a whole, has doubled down further on the latter half of 02′s plot events and the epilogue’s place in canon despite the infamous controversy around it, and I have to say that I do at least understand why they’re like this when you consider the circumstances and their likely feelings on it -- regardless of everything, they’re proud of the work they did on it, and even if not everything went according to original plan, they loved taking the opportunity to use the sandbox to express things they may not have been able to in their other projects, and the epilogue was their baby that they’d been raising for two years. It’s the ultimate question of “satisfying the creators vs. satisfying the audience” -- not to say that I completely agree with the call to be this unaware of how people were going to read this, because it’s not good to blindside your audience or hurt their feelings, but at the same time, it’s said that you will never be able to satisfy an audience at all if you’re not satisfying yourself first. And in the end, despite everything, that something in Adventure and 02, built out of that earnest desire to say something, came across in some ways and touched the hearts of kids all over the world.

So the result was that the Adventure and 02 staff did everything they wanted, got it out of their system, and handed an imperfect but carefully-crafted baton to Seki, who decided that it was a good opportunity to do something completely new, and deliberately picked Tamers’s director Kaizawa on the grounds that he’d had no experience with the series before. Remembering that Seki was on Adventure and 02 and was clearly happy with it, her decision to do something new with Tamers was just that -- to do something new -- and it’s honestly kind of saddening that the series’ respective fanbases treat each other with significantly less respect than their actual creators do, since both series still shared a lot of staff, Kakudou went on to be an episode director for Tamers (and even calls it a “masterpiece”), and Konaka clearly has a lot of respect for his predecessor series as well, with Tamers being its own product made with conscientiousness and a desire to make things meaningful for kids (Kaizawa himself has expressed a lot of strong opinions on this topic). A lot of anti-02 folks have often spread a conspiracy theory that Tamers came out of a “writer revolt” because they hated being “restricted” by 02 and wanted “more freedom” -- but that is completely contrary to the above evidence where 02′s production process arguably gave the writers too much freedom, and Tamers head staff was picked deliberately due to their lack of connection to the prior series so that they could do something conversely new and fresh...

One thing that’s interesting about Kizuna is that its director, Taguchi Tomohisa, has spoken very often about his love for the original series, right down to respecting its ability to cover very serious topics. His recruitment philosophy for the movie also seemed to have “being a fan of the series” as a big plus factor, and he moreover shows a lot of respect for the staff members involved in production, both the people he recruited and the long-timers like Seki. “Being a fan of the series” doesn’t necessarily constitute skill by itself, but there’s a lot of similar sentiments in “let’s make something that shows respect and does something interesting and important” and “let’s make sure the staff gets to do something without regrets” also seem to be pretty huge factors in consideration here, rather similar to the original series...

What this means in terms of understanding the series

I do not think that, just because a creator clearly had good reasoning for putting in what they did, the audience necessarily has to accept that. It may have had good intentions, but "intentions” don’t justify things coming off the way they do, or at least, the 20/20 hindsight can make us all get together and think “if that was your intention, there were probably a million better ways to execute that.” And, as someone writing this blog, there are times I really think “if you could have please just thought a little harder about making those ideas clearer so we wouldn’t have to have these arguments...”

However, I do think there is something illuminating about the idea of “adjusting one’s mindset” in response to the above revelations, and going in with an open mind when trying to get something out of the series for one’s own sake. I mean this truly in the sense of encouraging others to find something interesting and new -- this is not a blog I write expecting people to see things the same way I do, as much as I like encouraging people to look out for things they might have not noticed beforehand.

I started writing for this blog regularly last year (I hadn’t even planned to start regularly doing it) after a rewatch of Adventure and 02 with some friends and some honest discussion about the series after it, and one thing we all agreed to do when we did that rewatch was “we are not going to go in with the intent to criticize it.” That is to say, we decided to throw out all of those sentiments that you have to “admit” everything wrong with any series when even bringing up its name -- which is not to say that we’re glossing over potential criticisms or their validity, just “we’re doing this rewatch to have fun and to enjoy and appreciate things, and that will be our priority going in.” After making that agreement, something really magical happened, and it was that we started catching things without even looking for it, things that had clearly been planned but hidden in the background, or things that were caught by one person in the group watch chat and pointed out to the others, and it turned out that a huge chunk of the “criticisms” we might have originally gone in with actually did have answers, we just hadn’t realized it because we were too brainwashed into the mindset of dismissing things as “well, that part’s just bad writing.”

Of course, we’ve seen bad writing -- it’s not like we were going out of our way to absolve everyone for every mistake -- but that base mindset allowed us to better appreciate things we might have missed earlier that weren’t immediately apparent. I’ve said many times that I don’t think the things I write on here are that huge speculation -- in fact, in writing meta, I often throw out a lot of stuff because I think “yeah that’s too absurd, let’s just stick with the simplest explanation” -- as much as I just thread things that are in the series but are frustratingly subtle, because I’m taking things that seem like throwaway details and going “hm, well, instead of just dropping it the first time like ‘probably bad writing’, let’s maybe look at this one more time and see if there was a reason?” And those reasons present themselves surprisingly easily without even that much effort, and after a while you come to realize: this is a really consistent series!

It’s actually very rare that things outright contradict themselves, because it really does not take long to piece together a rational explanation (because those things are in the series, just buried)! This was a detail-oriented series that had a ridiculous amount of attention paid to it, even if it didn’t communicate that! Whenever I post meta, I often get comments from people who say outright that they’d had the same impressions, they just didn’t know how to put it in words! There’s been multiple cases of people independently coming up with readings of the series that the fanbase historically dismissed as a reach, only for official to come out and confirm they were absolutely correct, and a common thread between all of these is that they were referenced in the series, it’s just that people kept wanting to dismiss them because “there’s no way they’d be that detailed”! A truly contradictory series falls apart when you subject it to higher scrutiny (even when you’re being optimistic about it), but there’s a strange thing about Adventure and 02 in that they actually fit together even more when you look closely -- and, again, things start coming in when you don’t even expect it, just because of your mindset.

I suppose the take-home here with all of this is that a series like this is best understood when you have an open mind and a desire to listen to what it has to say. As I said before: Adventure and 02 (and especially 02) are not series that most people watch for the plot, and, to be honest, it’s clear that plot wasn’t even a priority for all of the staff in the first place as much as it was about conveying important ideas and sentiments. And I’m not going to say whether not prioritizing plot or not is a “good” or “bad” thing -- for some people, that kind of thing is understandably very important, and a series like 02 can be very frustrating to deal with as a result! -- as much as, for those who have a genuine interest in sitting down and understanding these series, I cannot recommend scrutinizing the plot too much simply because it will not get you very far, and, to be honest, whenever I see a lot of analyses of Adventure and 02, I really do often wonder if they actually understand the core of the series and the sentiment and emotion behind it, or whether they’re just doing it on a technical surface level so they can say they did (which is usually partially as a bid to passive-aggressively dunk on later series to prove Adventure is superior). The entire concept of objectivity is a lie in itself, but this is not a series that you can get much out of if you try to evaluate it with that kind of detachment; it’s a series that spoke to you through theme and passion first and foremost, and to receive that message and “enjoy” the series is most effectively done when you detach all of those doubts and approach the series without malice.

(By the way, this is not me claiming I’m inherently a “better” analyst just because I also prefer to use this mentality when approaching it; it’s just that I’m a bit frustrated that this kind of approach is so hard to find, despite Adventure’s popularity, because losing out on the heart causes so much rich potential to get lost. This is also the reason I recommend @analyzingadventure‘s work so much -- I’m so sorry about tagging you for the third time here! -- because they’re as positive about Adventure as I am about 02, and their insight and thought into the series coming from the angle of “appreciating” it with genuine positivity is something I believe is truly valuable in a climate where this is very hard to find.)

And this is what I mean, “to approach it without malice”. I don’t mean that you should go in prepared to never have criticisms of it ever again, nor that you should just absolve everything and assume that everything is fine, but rather that going in with a mindset of “we’re going to look for things to love” instead of “we’re going to ‘look past’ the bad” alone has the magical effect of shifting your entire view of the series, way more than I would say with any other. And, again, that’s only something that can happen when the base product was made with this much sentiment and honesty to begin with, and moreover fighting against the mindset to criticize is tough when we’re dealing with a fanbase that’s acted like being “fair” requires “acknowledging” the faults of everything in the same breath you praise it until the horse is beaten for two decades and everyone’s exhausted. (And then yells at you if you dare criticize anything that’s put on the fanbase’s pedestal.) It’s kind of the question of: should this really be about media criticism and whether it’s “objectively” good or bad, especially since this has been brought up so often for two decades now, or might it be better to think about how to have a more positive experience with something that you may not have had before?

Once you get rid of that mindset of “critical by default”, you start to realize things that the series did knock out of the park, or were exceptional, that got too obscured by the distractions of fixating on its plot -- 02 is a plot mess for sure, but I have never seen any series that is so sincere and earnest about its actual themes and things it wanted to say, and it’s something I love it even more for. And buried under that criticism of everyone not getting “equal attention” from an evolutionary forms perspective is the fact that, from a story perspective, they deliberately went out of their way to make sure everyone gets mostly equal focus, which is something that sticks out especially when you start watching other long-running series that aren’t as good about this, and although it’s not completely perfect by any means, they do a damn good job keeping everyone in the 8- and 6-person groups relevant to the very end, which is pretty impressive! And, in the end, you end up having a much healthier relationship with the series -- again, it’s not glossing over everything to pretend nothing is wrong per se, but rather, you’re able to appreciate it and love it for what it is, instead of constantly feeling like you’re making up for its “mistakes”.

[twopoppies]

Whatever road the movie My Policeman wants to go down, I'm ok with it unless it is a love triangle storyline. I heard a few magazines refer to the movie as a love triangle and it is anything but that! Just because Tom married Marion does not mean that he loves her, he loves Patrick. There's not even a moment of doubt for him if he's made to choose between the two. How is that a love triangle? If the movie makes it like he has some romantic feelings for her as well, I'm not going to like it at all. And that's not at all what the book intended as well....

And as for the whole thing surrounding Marion, i think a lot of her decisions and reactions were heavily influenced by the time period. Marion seems like a bit more of a progressive woman than the ones around her (except for her teacher friend ofc) and she believes in equality between the sexes and such. I'm not defending her but it's the many misconceptions during the time that made her act that way and her redemption arc proved that if she had known before that being queer is something that can't be "cured", she probably wouldn't have acted that way. And as for not knowing beforehand that Tom was gay, nobody around that time would ever think that handsome, established men, especially one who chose policeman as a career to ever be gay. Nobody's mind ever wandered to that conclusion even if the dude didn't show particular interest in them. PS: I'm in no way defending Marion, i absolutely loathe wat she put the two lovers through (it broke my heart being a queer myself) and the decision she made at the end was something she should've done in the beginning. I just think that she would've acted differently had there be more social awareness at that time. Same with the way Tom was sexist about mothers having jobs. Patrick and Marion were more alike than they wanted to be in things as such apart from the fact that Marion was a raging homophobe.

Hi love. I’d be really shocked if they changed the story to be a love triangle. It literally defeats the whole purpose of the story. But yeah, I’ve seen some media calling it a “movie about a love triangle” or that Harry plays a “bisexual cop”. I have a feeling that either this is just laziness and heteronormativity on behalf of the journalists, or there’s some lame plan to loosely market the film that way (but that seems like an incredibly bad idea, so I’m really not expecting that).

As for the rest of your message about Marion and the time period. Yes!! I absolutely agree. Her thoughts and behaviors were very much formed because of the time period and her personality. She really wasn’t the type to ever question the status quo and you can see how she brushes aside all of the “red flags” about Tom (from his sister’s hints, to his total disinterest in Marion, and his obvious interest in Patrick), making excuses or blaming herself, because even admitting to herself that he could be gay was so unthinkable at the time.

So yes, the times dictated all of their actions, to a large extent. It’s horrible to think about how queer people were treated and thought of then, and to know that there are so many places where next to nothing has changed.

In reference to this

[maladjusted-nerd]

Starsky and Hutch’s Girlfriends (and Their Hair Color)

[PBS announcer voice] This post is brought to you by the time I was reading The Ollie Report for Bounty Hunter and came across the memorable line: “Again, Starsky is drawn to the dark-haired girl, Hutch to the blonde. Exogamists they are not.”

These are the two ladies in question, respectively:

I thought of this quote a lot as I continued watching the show, because it was quite often relevant. But then I got to Starsky’s Lady, and suddenly Hutch’s date wasn’t a blonde! I began to wonder about the quote, and the truth of the sentiment behind it (which is by no means specific to that one blog). Did Hutch really tend to go for the blondes, and Starsky for the dark-haired women?

So like any sane person, I decided to spend a billion hours of my life making a long-ass photo-heavy meta post that hopefully someone will care about. If anyone actually finds this information interesting or useful I will be happy, buuut I guess if nothing else it gives us an excuse to look at a bunch of pretty ladies.

How did I decided who’s here: I started with the list of women from the Canon Compendium’s Girlfriends and Dates page, added anyone whom I felt the boys made a “concerted effort” to flirt with, and then threw out a few people I didn’t think belonged. I tried my hardest to be objective, but making this list was by no means an exact science and several times it really just boiled down to “do I personally believe she should be on here” so like people will have different opinions on that and it’s fine! Spice of life or whatever.

As for the actual contents of the list: I will state each woman’s name and the episode she’s in. (If she doesn’t have a name she’s listed as Jane Doe. This is a cop show, after all.) I will state her hair color-- for Reasons and also My Sanity the only options are “blonde” or “darkhaired” (not blonde), but hair color is fucking weird and sometimes it was a guess so feel free to think otherwise. I will also state the reason that she’s here, aka the nature of her relationship with Hutch or Starsky (or both)-- so spoiler warning for pretty much everything, I guess.

Also fair warning that sometimes I was too lazy to get a good picture, or it was just actually impossible (newsflash: discos have bad lighting). Rip to any women I may have made look bad, you’re all beautiful queens and I love you.

Pre-Show

Vanessa (Hutchinson Murder One)- Darkhaired. Hutch’s late ex-wife and all-around terrible person.

Laura Kanen (Deckwatch)- Blonde. Hutch’s ex-girlfriend.

Helen Davidson (Lady Blue)- Blonde. Starsky’s late ex-girlfriend.

Kathy Marshall (Fatal Charm)- Darkhaired. A stewardess friend of theirs; it’s never said she’s an ex BUT she kisses Hutch square on the mouth in greeting and is Starsky’s date for dinner/disco. And she dances with both of them. Good enough for me!

Season 1

Hutch

Jeannie Walton (The Fix)- Blonde. His girlfriend at the start of the episode but not by the end! (Rip king)

Molly (Pariah)- Darkhaired. Stewardess friend/one-night stand? Something like that. Also his date at the end.

Jane Doe (Deadly Imposter)- Blonde. His date at the party.

Abigail Crabtree (Deadly Imposter to Vendetta)- Blonde. The only girlfriend we see in several episodes!! (The only girlfriend that lasts several episodes, whoops.)

Starsky

Jane Doe (Pariah)- Blonde. His date at the end.

Jane Doe (Deadly Imposter)- Darkhaired. His date at the party.

Amy (The Hostages)- Darkhaired. She works at a café that he’s going to for a second time, to let her know he’s ~available.

Sharman Crane (Running)- Darkhaired. They had a semester of woodshop together in junior high and then they kind of fall in love while he’s helping her dry out.

Season 2

Hutch

Abby (Deadly Imposter to Vendetta)- Still blonde. Miraculously still his girlfriend. (Until she isn’t.)

Gillian Ingram (Gillian)- Blonde. His now-late girlfriend who fucking deserved better.

Jane Doe (Gillian)- Blonde. Lady at the bowling alley that Starsky discreetly tries to set him up with.

Christine (Starsky’s Lady)- Darkhaired. His date of the episode.

Starsky

Vicky (The Las Vegas Strangler)- Darkhaired. They don’t really get a chance to go on an official date but they kiss a bunch and he’s really sweet on her and it’s cute.

Andrea (Vendetta)- Darkhaired. His picnic date.

Nancy Rogers (Gillian)- Darkhaired. His bowling date.

Terry Roberts (Starsky’s Lady)- Darkhaired. His now-late girlfriend who, like Gillian, also fucking deserved better.

Laura Stevens (The Velvet Jungle)- Blonde. They’re on a date at the end, but it should also be noted they meet when she accidentally knocks him into a dumpster. You know, like the start of any good romance.

Sharon Freemont (Starsky and Hutch Are Guilty)- Blonde. His evil lawyer girlfriend. (Not that he knows she’s evil.)

Both

Jane and Bobette (The Vampire)- Jane is the blonde on the right, Bobette is the darker blonde on the left. Starsky and Hutch mix up their names so it’s hard to tell which girl they actually like better, and also they’re twins so like does it even really matter?

Officer Sally Hagen (The Specialist)- Darkhaired. Starsky kisses up her arm in her first scene (someone please file a workplace harassment suit against him), and then at the end he and Hutch keep wrapping their arms around her waist. But she does get to flip both of them over her shoulder, so it kinda evens out.

Season 3

Hutch

Dianna Harmon (Fatal Charm)- Darkhaired. His possessive, violent nurse girlfriend. (You can really pick ‘em, Hutchinson.)

Dr. Judith Kaufman (The Plague)- Darkhaired. He tries so hard, but twas not meant to be.

Molly Bristol (The Collector)- Darkhaired. His girlfriend du jour.

Anna Akhanatova (A Body Worth Guarding)- Blonde. He’s technically her bodyguard and then they spend like two whole days making out. Good for them.

Mary (Class in Crime)- Blonde. His fishing date.

Starsky

Jane Doe (Murder on Playboy Island)- Darkhaired. Undercover agent he flirts with at the bar.

Rosey Malone (I Love You Rosey Malone)- Blonde. The entire plot revolves around him falling in love with her and it really doesn’t end well.

Jane Doe (The Collector)- Darkhaired. His date at their late-night deli party. (Bonus Starsky in the picture, hi Starsky!)

Sharon Carstairs (The Heavyweight)- Blonde. Their canoodling on his couch gets interrupted by Important Case Matters, and she winds up getting re-engaged to her ex-fiancé (ex-ex-fiancé?). Rip to a king.

Rachel (Class in Crime)- Darkhaired. His fishing date.

Caitlin (Class in Crime)- Her hair almost has a red tint but it’s otherwise undefinable. Car saleslady/one-night stand.

K.C. McBride (Quadromania)- Blonde. They have a nice taxi date (although he’s been sleep deprived all episode, poor boy, and falls asleep).

Both

Christine Phelps (The Heroes)- Blonde. She makes them lose all their braincells, it’s painful to witness. This episode hopes you will forget the actress was Gillian last season.

Julie McDermott (The Action)- Blonde. Starsky wins the kerfuffle for her but Hutch definitely makes a good go of it.

Lisa Kendricks (Foxy Lady)- Blonde. They drool and fight over her for half an episode like they did with Christine and it’s embarrassing.

Season 4

Hutch

Paula (Photo Finish)- Darkhaired. He’s like her date at the party, and also the end.

Kate Larrabee (Cover Girl)- Darkhaired. An old friend of his. It starts out just as a comfort thing but they quickly become very friendly.

Marlene (Starsky’s Brother)- Darkhaired. Starsky steals her from Nicky as a Big Brother Power Move but Hutch winds up with her at the bar.

Marianne Owens (Ballad for a Blue Lady)- Darkhaired. I don’t really know what’s going on here but there’s Something (and there’s a lot of parallels with Rosey Malone, so).

Starsky

Sergeant Lizzie Thorpe (Discomania)- Blonde. Technically Hutch talks with her more, but Starsky does most of the flirting.

Jane Doe (Discomania)- Darkhaired. He spends literally five minutes dancing with her. Is it relevant to the case? No. Does he care? Also no.

Emily Harrison (Blindfold)- Darkhaired. He accidentally blinds her during a case so he starts hanging out with her out of guilt but I feel like he also kinda falls in love; they kiss at one point anyway.

Marcie Fletcher (Photo Finish)- Blonde. His photographer girlfriend.

Officer Dee O’Reilly (Strange Justice)- Blonde. His meter maid girlfriend. They have a date at the end!

Jane Doe (Dandruff)- Darkhaired. He’s making out with her at the beginning.

Detective Joan Meredith (Black and Blue)- Darkhaired. It’s Heavily implied they slept together. (Side note love u Meredith!)

Melinda Rogers (The Groupie)- Blonde. He has a date with her at the end. (Yeah she slept with Hutch, but he was undercover and proceeds to lowkey rebuff her in the tag, so I’m not counting it.)

Katie (Starsky’s Brother)- Blonde. His date at the nightclub.

Both

Allison May/Laura Anderson (Targets Without a Badge parts 2 & 3)- Darkhaired. They both try to court her before Starsky realizes she’s his childhood friend (although they do make another go of it in the tag).

Kira (Starsky vs Hutch)- Blonde. Starsky’s girlfriend, although she says she’s also in love with Hutch so then they sleep together which Starsky is NOT thrilled about and it’s a very ugly mess.

Totals:

Hutch:

Pre-show: 3 (1 blonde, 2 dark)   Season 1: 4 (3 blonde, 1 dark)   Season 2: 6 (4 blonde, 2 dark)   Season 3: 8 (5 blonde, 3 dark)   Season 4: 6 (1 blonde, 5 dark) Overall: 26 (13 blonde, 13 dark)

(If the math looks weird, it’s cause Abigail counts for both seasons she’s in but only once overall.)

Starsky:

Pre-show: 2 (1 blonde, 1 dark)   Season 1: 4 (1 blonde, 3 dark)   Season 2: 8 (3 blonde, 5 dark)   Season 3: 10 (6 blonde, 3 dark, 1 ??)   Season 4: 11 (6 blonde, 5 dark) Overall: 35 (17 blonde, 17 dark, 1 ??)

(Thirty-five?? Calm the fuck down, Starsky.)

  In conclusion:

“Exogamists, they are not” might have been true back at the end of season 1 when it was said, but it’s certainly not true by season 4/the end of the series. Hutch now seems to favor dark-haired women, and Starsky’s about half and half, although they both wind up with an equal split overall.

Do with that information what you will; I’m outta here.

[khaotic-kitsunes]

Thigh-Riding

Another Mafia scenario because why the fuck not.

Cheeky Kitsune 🦊💋

 Taishiro let out a low hum as he leaned back in his chair, one hand resting against your hip gently; keeping you steady while you rubbed yourself against his thigh, hands gripping his leg tightly with soft mewls spilling past your parted lips.

 His pants did nothing to stop the feeling of your slick against his skin and it was ruining his best suit.

   “Enjoying yourself, kitten?”

   His lips twitched up into a lazy grin while you turned your head to look back at him with a hazy, lust-filled gaze; the exact reason he didn’t have the heart to stop your current advances, after all, it was partially his fault that you were so neglected.

 Your soft whine of displeasure made him chuckle, his hand moving from your hip up into your hair, yanking on it roughly until your back was arched and your hips were bucking down against his thigh; desperate for more.

   “Enter!”

   He looked towards the door the moment he heard the knock he had been waiting for, granting permission to one of his most faithful followers to enter his office despite your current appearance.

 “Ah, Fat…” Taishiro jerked his leg up, making you gasp out from the sudden friction, almost drowning out the young-redhead’s mumbled start.

 “If you’re here, that means you’ve got what I asked for right?” Taishiro cast his gaze over to Eijiro while tugging at your hair more, prompting you to continue moving your hips like you were a moment ago; though you bit down on your lip to muffle your moans so that he could converse with Eijiro, who was still trying to avoid looking at you.

 “Um, yeah. Kind of hard to find but we got there in the end” He approached the desk cautiously, holding out a plain manila folder towards Taishiro, his lips pressed into a thin, unimpressed line.

 If you had been thinking straight in that moment, you might have been worried.

   “It looks like you were right to be suspicious of her”

   You let out a whimper when Taishiro tugged your head back so that you were arched into an uncomfortable position, your head beside his own while he opened the file with his free hand; clicking his tongue.

 “(Name), do you see this file? It contains everything there is to know…about you” You blinked slowly, your mind beginning to clear itself of the pleasure-filled haze it had been in moments ago; replaced with a feeling of dread.

   “Stay. Kirishima.”

   You glanced over to Eijiro when he gulped nervously and stopped in his attempt to leave the office unnoticed, Taishiro’s tone of voice leaving no room for argument.

 “Now, back to you, my adorable little kitten” Taishiro pressed a kiss to your cheek, positioning the folder where you could read it, dread filling you the moment your eyes landed on the standard police portrait that had been hastily taped to one side of the folder.

   “You didn’t really think you could become a member, let alone my personal plaything, without being checked over. Did you?”

   You chewed on your bottom lip nervously, squirming in his hold before going still soon after, trying not to moan at the way it felt to have his leg jolt up against you, grazing your clit in the most enjoyable of ways.

 “I’m surprised, most would be sputtering out excuses by now, isn’t that right? Eijiro?” The young red-head nodded at the question, crimson gaze glancing over you before again losing interest, finding better entertainment in the nearby wall.

 “Most would be dead by now too”

   “Mm, but most haven’t taken so well to my treatment of them”

   Taishiro threw the folder onto the desk, his now free hand moving to your inner thigh, calloused fingers dipping under your simple dress and brushing against your oh-so-sensitive clit, going still the moment you whimpered out from the touch.

 “Which is why I’ll give you the choice they never had, kitten” He paused, leaning in close so that his lips brushed against your ear with every word he spoke, hot breath sending shivers down your spine; the offer already seemed more appealing than what awaited traitors.

 You had heard the stories, the whispers, their fates. You had no desire to become one of them and at this stage, you would do what you could to get on Taishiro’s good side; you had already been enjoying his favouritism, there was no reason why that couldn’t continue.

 “Fat…are you sure about this? She could betray you! She’s a cop!” Eijiro stopped when Taishiro looked over at him, going quiet so that he didn’t overstep whatever line he had been given.

 “She was a cop. Right now, she’s my faithful little slut.” He moved his fingers as he spoke, rubbing your clit firmly and pulling yet another breathy moan past your lips, the sound music to his ears.

 “And that’s exactly why she’s going to tell me everything I want to know because if she does that, I won’t have to get rid of her” He tugged at your hair as he spoke, making you look at him before pressing his lips against your own in a heated kiss; stealing away your breath before you had a chance to regain it.

 “So, make your decision baby girl, are you gonna tell us what we need to know?” You whimpered out as he pulled his head away from yours, his fingers going still against your clit once more, leaving you hanging by a thread; your orgasm close but not close enough.

 “Y-Yes, I’ll tell you! Whatever you want to know, I’ll tell you everything!” Taishiro grinned at your declaration, glancing towards Eijiro while his fingers resumed their torturously slow movements, causing you to start grinding yourself down against his leg once again.

   “You can leave now. I’m sure I’ll have no troubles with (Name), in fact, I think a reward is in order…”

[five-rivers]

Cold Case

So, this is a continuation of Interview With a Ghost, my corpse AU.  Sort of.  Lots of outsider perspective.  

But, I’m too lazy to hunt down the tumblr links.  So.  Here’s the AO3 link to the series.  

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McGee braced himself before getting out of his car and walking into the precinct.  He’d heard all the jokes before, all the mindless digs at his name, and he liked to think that he’d grown a thick skin in response, but part of him still flinched every time.  

Plus, there was a reason he’d been sent to Amity Park.  That reason being the incredibly suspicious crime rate.  That is, the just shy of nonexistent crime rate.  Also, the billionaire mayor that had popped up out of nowhere.  And the high road repair and park maintenance bills.  

Oh, yeah, and the giant murder investigation that had just.  Disappeared.

The county wanted answers.  So, they sent McGee.  Of course, they didn’t tell the Amity Park Police Department that.  As far as they knew, he was just a transfer. Someone being shifted from one department to another.  

So, yeah.  Bracing.  Just like the wind.  Ouch, it was cold.  McGee wrapped his coat more closely around himself and began jogging through the otherwise deserted parking garage.  

The… underground parking garage.  Wind?  

McGee stopped and turned in place, trying to see where the breeze could have possibly come from.  There weren’t exactly any windows down here.  

Feeling more cautious, but not knowing why, McGee made his way more slowly to the elevator door and hit the call button.  The doors opened immediately.  Inside, a speaker tried to play music, but what came out of it was mostly ear-tearing static.  

Well.  If APPD was getting paid off by a mob or the town was skimming from road funds, they certainly weren’t using their ill-gotten gains on the elevators.  

When the doors opened, McGee was hit with a blast of warm air and Christmas music.  He kept his face carefully blank.  It had only just become December, and the police station was… it was… Well. McGee would have to call it ‘decked out,’ no matter how much he abhorred the phrase.  

… Why were there so many menorahs?

“Hey, are you John McGee?”

“Yes, that’s me,” said McGee, turning to face a remarkably plain man in a button-down shirt and a pullover sweater.  

The man had a pair of novelty felt antlers on his head.  They were decorated with bells.  How unprofessional.

“I’m Collins.  We’ll probably be working together at some point.  Same department.”

“Homicide?”

Collins raised his eyebrows.  “I don’t know what you were told, but we don’t have enough homicides to warrant a dedicated homicide department.  We get a one or two mysterious deaths every month, but it always turns out to be, like, anaphylaxis or something.”  He brought a mug to his lips and sipped slowly.  “Mostly we do vice, theft, fraud, and missing persons. Not much of that last one, either. Oh, we had an arson one time.  But it turned out it wasn’t really arson. Anyway, let’s get you checked in, and hopefully Patterson will be here by the time Captain Jones is done with you.”

“Patterson?”

“My partner.  You know, you being here gives us an odd number of detectives.  That’s going to be weird.”  He sipped from his mug again.  “Maybe we’ll promote someone.  Not Cameron Daily, though.”  Collins stared into the middle distance.  “No. Not Cameron Daily.  Love that man. He’s got to stay in tech support.”

“The captain?” prompted McGee.  

“Hah.  Yeah. You have to brave the secretaries, first.”  Collins patted McGee on the shoulder, and McGee suppressed the impulse to shake him off. “Good luck.  At least this is going to be a quiet month, right?”

.

McGee spent what was probably far too much time pondering what Collins had meant by ‘it’s going to be a quiet month.’  Did the APPD’s arrangement with the local criminals (because there had to be an arrangement) include forewarning concerning the crimes they did deign to investigate?  Or did they have statistics that indicated December was a low-crime time for Amity Park?

Orientation was highly typical, as far as these things went.  The only oddity were the advertisements and promotional pictures for the local tourist trap tapped up all over half the captain’s office.  Was the man a fan?  Did he believe in that ghost nonsense?  Was it some kind of bizarre joke?

At least the Christmas plague hadn’t made it this far.

“Right, now that we’ve got that part out of the way, let’s move on.  We normally like an even number of detectives, but the county moved you over so fast we couldn’t get you a partner, and no one is retiring.”  Jones rolled his shoulders and fixed McGee with a very sharp gaze.  “Do you know why the county was so… insistent with your transfer?”

Ah.  So, the captain was suspicious.  Time to put that backstory to good use.  

“Honestly, sir, I embarrassed someone, and I think they just spun the wheel on how to get rid of me.”

“Mhm.  See, usually when they do that, they pick from departments that actually put in requests for extra personnel.  We haven’t.”

“I think the main concern was just to keep me away.”

“I see.”  The level of suspicion in the man’s eyes did not change.  “You’re going to be with Patterson and Collins until you get your feet under you and we decide what to do about the partner situation. If the county will even let us out another detective on payroll.  Consider yourself on probation as far as whatever it is you’re doing with the county. Don’t put my detectives in danger.”

“Sir—”

“Whatever excuse you have, I don’t want to hear it. Go talk to Collins.  I know you met him.  Patterson probably isn’t here yet.”

.

Collins stood next to a woman in a coat with a long dark braid.  Both of their backs were to McGee.  He could see that they were talking to one another, making tight little gestures with their hands near their chests.  All the other occupants of the room stared at them without a modicum of shame.  

“—until he sees his first fight?  We’re supposed to babysit him until January?  We won’t be able to talk about anything!”

“Well, if you’d been on time, maybe we could have convinced the captain not to—”

Someone behind McGee cleared their throat. Loudly.  Collins and the woman turned, sheepishly.  

“Oh.  McGee. McGee, this is Patterson. Patterson, this is McGee.  You’ll be working with us, apparently.”

“Hopefully, I’ll be able to get out of your hair before too long,” said McGee.

“Don’t count on it.  How long have you been in town?” asked Patterson.  

“Only since yesterday.  Why?”

“We’re showing you around,” said Patterson, snatching the antlers from Collins’s head.  

“Consider it your last bit of freedom before you’re condemned to paperwork,” said Collins.  

.

Amity Park was odd, McGee decided.  

It wasn’t just the clashing but equally enthusiastic Halloween and Christmas decorations, the omnipresent construction, and the worrying number of holes in the road (really, there was no way the road repair budget was actually getting used on the roads).  There was something else.  Something McGee couldn’t put his finger on.  Something—

He did a double-take.  Were those two cosplaying the Ghostbusters?  Why?

How seriously did these people take their tourist trap nonsense?

“What are Jack and Maddie doing out?” asked Patterson.

“I don’t know,” said Collins.  He tilted his head to one side and pulled into a nearby convenience store parking lot.  “You’d think they’d be told; December is a quiet month.”

“Mhm.  Maybe they didn’t believe it?”

“They can be stubborn sometimes,” mused Collins. “But it would be nice if there was some action.”  He pulled the parking brake.  “You want to introduce McGee to the local celebrities?”

A look of indescribable disgust appeared on Patterson’s face.  “Why don’t you introduce them?”

“I did that last time.”

“No, you didn’t.  You rang their doorbell and then ran like the coward you are.”

Collins, without any hint of repentance, shrugged. “Wouldn’t you do the same?”

“This is different,” she protested.  “This isn’t just any new resident.  This is a coworker.  A coworker who isn’t going to see that kind of action for a whole month.”

“Action?” asked McGee.  This felt perilously close to what he’d been tasked to find out.  

“You’ll find out in a month,” said Collins. “Assuming you last that long.”

McGee frowned, and decided to take another risk and prompt the pair further.  “I know you have a low crime rate here,” he said, “but I’m sure there will be something for us to investigate before the end of the month.”

“Well, yeah,” said Collins.  “We don’t get paid for doing nothing.”

There was a sharp rap on the window, and everyone jumped.  God. It was just some kid.  McGee put a hand over his heart and tried not to think too hard about the time he had almost been killed in his car by a dirty cop and his gangster friends.

Collins rolled the window down, letting in a gust of frigid wind.  

“Hi, detectives!” chirped the teen.  “I heard you got a new guy!”

Oh.  That was interesting.  Was the local gang using children as in-betweens?

“Yep,” said Patterson.  “This is McGee.  McGee, this is Danny, the only sane Fenton.”

Danny tipped his head to the side and squinted. “I think that title needs to go to Jazz.”

“Danny, I hate to break it to you, but your sister is a lunatic,” said Patterson, completely serious.  

“Come on, you’re just saying that,” said Danny, staring openly at McGee.  

Did this kid blink?

“Anyway, I’ve introduced McGee to one Fenton, you get to do the others,” said Patterson, poking Collins in the ribs.

“Danny doesn’t count,” protested Collins, squirming. “He’s sane, like you said.”

“You’ll have to be fast.  Mom and Dad are like three blocks down the street chasing…”  He trailed off.  “Well, they think they’re chasing something, anyway.  Transient noise on their latest EMF reader.”  He rolled his eyes and finally blinked.  

“Think they might actually get anything?” asked Patterson.

“Nothing with a mind,” said Danny.  “Might have to play animal control soon, though.”  There was a loud crash and a squeal of rubber, followed by distant but still deafening engine noises.  Danny winced.  “Can you please give them a fine for driving around in that thing?”

“They have a special permit,” said Collins, shrugging.  “Straight from the mayor.  Nothing we can do.”

“I will bribe you to do something.”

McGee choked.

“With what?” asked Collins.  “You’re a penniless middle schooler.”

“Excuse you,” said Danny, crossing his arms. “You know I’m in high school.”

There was another crash.  

“Are you sure they haven’t found anything?” asked Patterson, leaning forward.  

“Absolutely positive,” said Danny.  He sighed.  “I should probably go, though.”

“Okay, have fun, Danny!”

“Don’t think you’re getting out of introductions, Patterson,” grumbled Collins.  

.

“Alright,” said Collins, opening a narrow door and turning on the buzzing yellow light within.  “Your kingdom awaits!”  He gestured grandly, disrupting clouds of dust.  “You’ll be entering old cases into the system.  Did Cameron Daily show you how?”

McGee’s lips twisted at the memory of the computer tech.  “Yes,” he said.  

“Yeah, Cameron gets that reaction,” said Collins, thumping McGee on the back.  “If it makes you feel better, he’s usually in charge of keeping track of the cults. Did he tell you about the VHS evidence?”

“The cults?”

“Yep.  You’ll learn about those later.  VHS?”

“Yes, he told me how to handle the VHS.”

“Great.  So, Patterson and I will be working on case paperwork in the main room, if you have any questions, come get us, okay?”

“I will,” said McGee.  

Collins nodded.  “If we wind up being assigned a case, we’ll come get you.”  He absentmindedly rubbed his shoulder.  “The captain probably won’t give us anything today. Oh, and if Mayor Masters drops in, redirect him to the front desk.  There’s no reason for him to be back here.”

There was a good deal of hostility in Collins’ tone. Interesting.  

“Do you not get along with the mayor?”

“We get along fine,” said Collins.  “He just oversteps his authority, sometimes.”

“I… see.”

“Not yet you don’t,” said Collins, softly, before turning to walk away.  A “Good luck” was tossed casually over the man’s shoulder and seemed to echo in the air despite the hall being far too small for that to happen.  

McGee turned to his work and smiled.  They shouldn’t have left him alone with the records. This was where he did his best work. There was always a paper trail somewhere.  

He opened the department-issued laptop and brought up the digital filing system.  

It was odd, though.  He’d spent years in the police, and he’d never heard of Fenton & Foley Information Systems.  

.

The department computer filing system was a miracle.  McGee meant that completely, as a connoisseur of filing systems.  He wondered if he could get the county to adopt it, assuming it didn’t tie back to the mob or something equally unsavory.  

On the other hand, it was only a couple months old, by the looks of it.  It was, therefore, mostly empty, as compared to the almost infinite number of filing boxes in the record room.  

The record room was not well organized.  In fact, it was barely organized at all.  Several of the boxes looked like they’d been beaten with a bat, others were singed.  A few dripped with something sticky and green. One or two looked as though they’d been drenched in water and then left to dry in a dark, damp room.  Only about half of them were labeled.  

To top it off, towards the beginning he’d found a post-it that had said: Boxy, if you steal these again, I’m going to leave you in the thermos for a week.  -Phantom

The people here were way too into their tourist trap shenanigans.  Unless they weren’t just tourist trap shenanigans.  Unless they were a front.  

He’d put that on his list of things to investigate.

But first, first, he was going to find the records for the murder that was recently swept under the table.

The newest boxes, despite being reasonably intact and therefore unique, weren’t easy to find, but he was able to drag them out and sit down with his laptop.  He could enter as he searched, and thereby give the illusion that he was a completely normal transfer more credence.  

Except.

Except.  The records for that murder didn’t seem to exist.  Not even in the cold case box.

“Hey.”

McGee jumped.  Patterson was standing behind him, holding two paper coffee cups.  

“How’s it going?” she asked.  “I know these records are hell.”

“Fine,” he said.  

“Coffee?”

“Sure.”  He took the offered cup from her.  “Forgive me if I’m wrong,” he said, “but when I was working up at county, I heard that you had a murder case here, recently?  You dug up a teen’s body?”

“Oh, yeah.”  Patterson was unperturbed.  “Yeah, that was pretty exciting.  Collins and I were on that.”

“I can’t seem to find the records for it.”

“Yeah.  Well, there wasn’t any foul play.”  Patterson shrugged.  

“Wasn’t he found buried in a public park?”

“Well, aren’t you informed,” said Patterson. She sipped her coffee aggressively through the plastic stirring straw.  

“So, you found an illegally buried teenager’s corpse and just… dropped it?”

“We investigated it,” said Patterson.  “There wasn’t anything there.  Case was cold even without that.”  Another long, aggressive sip.  She couldn’t possibly be getting any coffee up through that straw.  It had to be mostly air.  

This was the most bizarre intimidation tactic McGee had ever come across in his entire life.  This was saying something.  Once he’d worked with a man who’d pretend to have the flu during interrogations.  

“You should still have records for the investigation.”

Patterson shrugged.  “You’d have to ask Captain Jones about that.  Anyway, I brought a bunch of tapes for you, too.  You’ll have to rewind them by hand, though, when you finally get to them.”  Another sip. “Are you planning on doing the salvage boxes?”

“The what?”

“The salvage boxes.  The ones that got fished out of the lake.  Wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t.  Just curious.”

“I’m- They were in a lake?  Why?”

“Stick around and find out,” said Patterson.  “Did Masters come bother you yet?”

“Mayor Masters?”

“The one and only,” said Patterson, raising her coffee in a mock toast.  

“Why would he come here?”

“Because you’re new, and theoretically a weak link. Oh, yeah.  One more thing.  I know your check-out time is in half an hour, but come back around eight, okay?”

“Why?”

“Reasons.”

“Are you hazing me?”

“That’s what the salvage boxes are for,” said Patterson.  “Come back at eight.  Bye.” She waved as she left.  

Great.  What was he supposed to do about that?

.

He didn’t go home after checking out. Instead, he walked around town.  Patterson and Collins’ tour had been… interesting. Not terribly informative.  They had given him an overview of various restaurants, ‘paranormal hotspots,’ and places where dumb kids gathered to experiment with drugs of dubious legality.  

But they had avoided certain parts of town.  McGee had noticed.  

True, some of that was likely coincidence, but McGee had never heard of a public cemetery that wasn’t the site of something shady. Sure, a good caretaker would chase off anyone messing around in daylight, but cemeteries and graveyards just attracted trouble.  Even if that trouble was just the local goth kids running around while high out of their minds.  

But this cemetery, evidently, is different. Because there’s an unholy amount of people there for something that supposedly hallowed ground.  Is this also part of the weird ghost-theme the place had going for itself?  Were those tourists?  In the graveyard?  

That seemed to be in remarkably poor taste.  

McGee pushed his hands deeper into his pockets and lengthened his stride.  This whole town was in poor taste.  

Oddly, everyone seemed to be gathered around the same grave.  Maybe it was a funeral?  No, the ground in front of the headstone was long since patted firm, and the headstone, while obviously fairly new, had some evidence of weathering even from a distance.

Had there been a celebration today?  Memorial Day wasn’t today, was it?  McGee always lost track of those fiddly little holidays.

Huh.  The headstone was blank.

“Excuse me,” he said to a nearby woman.  “Do you know who was buried here?”

“You… don’t know?” she asked, eyes wide with surprise.  

McGee grinned.  “I’m new in town, I’m afraid, and I just saw all these people here… I’m curious, I guess.”

“Oh,” said the woman.  She looked away, every part of her body language screaming that she was coming up with a story to feed him.  A lie.  Or, at least, deciding which lie to use.  “Well, there was a body found a few months ago?  No one ever identified him, so… He was buried here?  We just, um.  It was sad, you know?  You’ll probably hear more about it if you stick around.”

Despite almost everything she said being a statement, she still managed to make everything but the last sentence sound like a question.  

Even if it was a lie…

“I hadn’t, actually.  Can you tell me what happened?”

… Maybe it was just what McGee needed.

[hlizr50]

Alright. I'm gonna talk about The War of Two Queens. Enough time has passed. I have thoughts. I would say they're all along the same lines as @mystical-blaise, and if you haven't read her reaction I highly recommend.

1. First: It is THE War of Two Queens, not A War of Two Queens. This is petty, but it drives me bonkers. There be spoilers below.

2. Pacing: The pacing was a hot mess. It takes far too long to rescue our dear king, when we could have spent more time dealing with his trauma after and getting flashbacks and general backstory for Cas and Kieran in a much better way than just walking and talking, which seems to be a favorite of JLA.

3. Kieran: I ADORE the evolution of Poppy's relationship with Kieran. Poppy is GRIEVING, and she has nobody to turn to. Except for Kieran. I legitimately have NO idea how people have construed anything between them as Poppy emotionally cheating on Casteel while he's legitimately chained in the Queen's basement. If ANYONE is in the wrong, it was Kieran for an instant, but it felt very much like an attempt from him to return to their usual dynamic, where he and Cas poke at her and try to make her blush or rile her up. Even more, I love this glimpse into soft Kieran, because it gives us some insight into how he would be with his person. I loved Kieran so much more after this book, even though I think Cas will always be my number one.

4. The Joining (Before, During, and After): If you exist in the fandom in any of the groups that JLA is constantly in, then you KNEW that the Joining would happen, and that it would probably be spicy. I didn't want it, but I was prepared for it. So let's talk about it.

The BEFORE conversations were ON POINT, NECESSARY, AND WONDERFUL. They were all about consent, comfort, and their existing relationships. Nothing was going to happen without Poppy's express consent, and Poppy and Cas are still heartmates and that is not changing.

The DURING was a pretty egregious fail. It's fairly clear that JLA was doing her best to appease both the people who were salivating for a salacious threesome and the people who didn't want it at all. And what we got was a blur of vague words and little initial understand of who was where and how they were participating. If you're going to write a threesome - if this is something you truly planned to do in your heart of hearts and soul of souls this entire time - then DO THE THING AND DON'T LOOK BACK.

The AFTER was... fine. I think Cas could have done more care and cleanup, but Kieran left them and gave them their space. And through the remainder of the book I still didn't get the throuple vibe, whatever the intention may or may not have been. It is undeniable that the relationship between Poppy and Kieran has shifted to something, but I don't think we're in throuple territory. It was even specifically called out that whenever Kieran finds his person they'll have to do this again, because they wouldn't want to make Kieran live without his person just bc they share a lifespan. I feel like this wouldn't have popped up if the romantic relationship was between the three of them.

5. Why aren't these people dead? One of the things I really dislike are the changing of the rules and the very unrealistic notion that everyone we love stays alive all the time. Tawny was stabbed by shadowstone. She should be dead dead dead. We see deaths in the ending battle, and they all magically get brought back to life. It's a cop out, and I don't like it.

6. SPEAKING OF THE ENDING: This is where I feel the strongest. The ending of this book was SO LAZY. Nevermind that we got another final-chapter info dumb just like ASITE, but we have been placed in a position where we are literally in the same place, plot-wise, that we found at the beginning of ASITE. I've already read that book, Jen. I don't need it again. I legitimately don't understand why, and I feel like there could have been so many more interesting, impactful decisions that could have been made. But instead we just got Nektas making a speech of way too much information and then a scenario that she has already utilized and (I'm assuming) will be completing with ALITF. Like... do LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE.

7. Don't get me started on the modern turns of phrase and vernacular.

Overall, it wasn't the best book I've read, but I didn't hate it. JLA is incredible at building characters that we absolutely fall in love with (I mean, I cried when we had to part with a freaking snake tattoo in Dark Elements), and I think the characters and the relationships are still strong. I especially love Kieran in this book. The things I dislike about it are almost plot-adjacent, and are all based on the author's decision-making and execution.

I've never rated books, but if you asked me to I'd probably give it a 3/5?