#lazy ass colouring sorry gang

[arolegos]

2 sets of drawing jay walker (training myself to like him so ill gaf when DR focuses on him)

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Hi,

Do you ever think on the first conversation Inej and Kaz had in Heleen's office? It feels like theres a lot there and I wondered if you have any thoughts on it. I come back a lot to when Inej asks Kaz if he convinced Per Haskell to buy out her indenture because "you like Suli girls" and Kaz answers "i don't know enough Suli girls to say"

that's a very interesting sort of snarky answer to me because he refutes the idea that he's the type to fetishize the Suli culture to the point of being "into" Suli women just because they are Suli. But also he doesn't just shut down the idea of him being into anyone. Which ... This is post Imogen debacle, he's resigned himself to not being "into" anyone at this point for several years. He doesn't care how people see him for it either. He could have been ruder or more just more direct about this, but he wasn't. And its like that with many of his early actions towards Inej. He's nicer than you'd think he'd be and its interesting becuase i don't get a sense that Kaz fell for Inej "at first sight", i think his love for her was gradual and snuck up on him (heh) so really everything he did at first and especially not demanding she gets a dregs tatto must have been from some basic sense of compassion, although he'd shank me for saying so.

Also, i always wondered how Kaz explained to Haskell why Inej didnt get a tattoo, then i re-read the books recently i realized omg i bet he totally probably just didn't?! Inej wasn't the type talk about it, she wears concealing clothes and is not very seen/social within the gang so my theory is that lazy ass Haskell didnt ask and assumed she got a tatto and kaz just let the assumption happen. Do you think that's believable?

Hi, thanks so much for your question - and so sorry it’s taken me an eternity to reply!

When I tell you that I think about this meeting once a week… well I’m hoping that you think “woah so cool she knows so much and thinks so in depth about these characters literary analysis is awesome” and not “Jesus Christ she’s insane”. But genuinely, the Kanej meeting is something I think about a lot and I think holds an awful lot of meaning.

The “you like Suli girls” “I don’t know enough Suli girls to say” to me is such a wonderful moment because, as you quite rightly said, it immediately refutes Kaz’s endorsement of the hyper-sexualisation of Suli culture that we see so prevalently in Kerch / Ketterdam (I’ve gone into this at length before but in a whistle stop tour think about the way the Menagerie customers talk about Inej and place so much emphasis on her skin colour, her bedroom at the Menagerie being a “farcical” version of a Suli caravan, the way “the Menagerie always stocked a Suli girl”, the Rare Spices billboard, etc). And this is so important for so many reasons, but in particular because the second Heleen exits the room and she’s alone with Kaz, Inej immediately tenses at the assumption that he is going to rape or assault her- “braced herself for what would come next, fingers twisting in her silks”. And what happens instead? He asks her for her name. Her name, that has been ignored and erased for an entire year as yet another roll of dehumanisation piled against her. Even though the pair discuss and make a clear understanding of the fact that this isn’t some kind of rescue mission and Inej’s world isn’t going to suddenly fix itself, this moment makes an instant connection for Inej between Kaz Brekker and safety. Because somehow, despite everything that’s happening, this moment in Tante Heleen’s office is the safest Inej has felt for an entire year. It’s also interesting that you mentioned he doesn’t shut down the idea of not being interested in anyone and I definitely agree with that, personally I don’t believe that Kaz is asexual although I know some people headcanon him that way it’s just not something that works for me and my perception of his character, and that’s because of situations like his attraction to Imogen and several situations he’s in with Inej. His exact words when considering being with Imogen are “he knew the things he was supposed to want. He did want those things”, which to me very clearly shows that he does experience sexual attraction and sexual desire, and the limiting factor is his ptsd and touch aversion rather than his sexuality/orientation. I agree that Kaz and Inej didn’t experience a love at first sight kind of moment, but I do think that this meeting really solidified their relationship to a level of immediate understanding between them, in essence an acknowledgment of them being “twin soldiers, marching on, pretending they were fine”. They are both able to see the other, clock that they understand to some extent, and respect each other.

Kaz is quite abrasive in this scene, but what always gets me is how confrontational Inej is able to be - “And what happens when you take their money, and you become a rich man?”. (The quote is something to that effect, sorry I don’t have my book with me right now). I think that a big aspect of her being able to summon the confidence to put herself against him so immediately is that she genuinely feels this level of safety with him, because this far he represents the opposite of everything that had tormented her. Or at the very least the polar end of a spectrum that she has been tormented by another part of. And controversially to the image of everything Inej has experienced in the Barrel so far, Kaz is amused by and enjoys her standing up to him, in fact he almost seems endeared by it saying “Then you can steal all my secrets too”.

And ohh the tattoo, or lack thereof, makes me so happy! It doesn’t require much reading between the lines to understand the relevance of Kaz not forcing Inej to take the Dregs tattoo on, she even says herself that he refused to be the one who marked her again, but I love the idea that he didn’t actually tell anyone she’s not got it!! I hadn’t considered this before but it makes perfect sense with everything we know about Inej’s relationship with the Dregs - Nina doesn’t know she lacks the tattoo, and Inej comments on the fact that the others can’t see her scars from having the Menagerie feather removed but that “they all knew it was there”, suggesting she keeps her forearms covered most of the time, and the emotional disconnect she feels from the rest of the Dregs is always discussed at an intellectual level and in the way she spends most of her time with Kaz or alone rather than with them rather than any dislike/distrust/etc of her because she didn’t take on the tattoo. I absolutely love this theory because it takes away any feeling of guilt around lacking the tattoo and also makes it a far more personal thing to be shared only between Kaz and herself.

Thank you so much, I’m so sorry it took me so long to reply, but I hope this made sense and that you enjoyed reading it! <3

[universaln0b0dy]

oc challenge

But this time its my 43 hour I like every song I come across playist^^ Also I am making that up as I go, so I have no idea if the songs will connect.

1: Cannibal - Kesha, so female!

2: Record Player - Daisy the great. (Has brown hair she tried to colour blue, turned out seasick green. So, she loves vintage dresses from thrift stores and has boots? (Long hair ig)

3: My hero academia - peace sign /season two opening. (So when I listened to the song the cover was mostly red, black and a dash of yellow! So red dresses with black accents (and make up) and orange boots!! Because I have no idea what the song is saying and I am too lazy to translate the lyrics at the moment-- he...he... he.)

4: Little girl gone - Chinchilla (She had a really troubled past so she joined a gang and became this bad ass fighter!)

5: Elastic Heart - Sia (She has no travel picking herself up. It doesn't matter what happens. Her heart is bendable and doesn't break, she can be cold and she has trouble trusting people. She has a very strong moral code and while her joining a gang might be counter productive, she fights for what she believes is right.)

6: Servant of Evil (english cover) - lizz robinett (I am sorry, but I have trouble making this romantic, but here is what I have so far! She is very loyal to the person she loves and is willing to sacrifice herself for them, it doesn't matter what they ask of her. Once she is in love its forever.)

7: Zydrate Anatomy - Paris Hilton (Murder, kidnapping, being useless, surgery??)

8: MEAN! - Madeline The Person (Her family thinks of her as a waste of space and she never wants to be like them. Her family is really mean to hear and they are lying. They treat her bad and use her as a scapegoat for all of their problems

9: The kageguri rap (She is more sick when people think. I guess you could say should she ever do what her thoughts are telling her the world would be burning. She likes gambles and her thoughts have diffrent personalities ig)

10: Other friends - Steven universe (WAAAAA WHY IS ALL OF THIS SOOOO CONFUSING??? So she was replaced and thrown away and she had to watch the people she liked get along with the people that hurt her the most, even leaving her behind. And know she has to deal with them being celebrated as heros and even being forgotten!)

11: I don't like myself- Imagine Dragons (because of her family she was seriously depressed early in life. She wanted to love herself but she couldn't, she became insecure and kinda clingy. People spread rumours about her and after some time she started to believe them?)

12: The ghost - NIVIRO (Girl can't catch a break-Up her lover has a hunter prey kin-I AM JOKING!!! So her love is kinda obsessed with her and is chasing her around? She tends to be in multiple places at once and finds everyone no matter where they are)

Soo, what should her name be??

[strawbearisamu]

for a day like this

timeskip! hanamaki takahiro x gn! reader

summary: a coincidence on a train ride home leads to a confession and kissing in the rain.

note: requested by anon :) here, semi long one guys

cw: light swearing, semi makeout scene

wc: 1.8k 

the sky shrouded by a dense fog, the blue of it completely concealed by a covering of wooly grey clouds. rain continuing to pour from the desolute atmosphere as you heard a disembodied female voice announce the departure of the train. you sighed, train starting to move as you look out your window only to see a strike of lightning, the muffled thundering of the storm only growing louder, reminding you of the impending consequences of today's events.

"miss..miss...excuse me miss?" shaken from your daze, you meet the face of a middle aged woman carrying an infant and a young child, "miss, would you mind switching seats with me? there just isn't enough space for my baby's breastfeeding equipment on the other side." she asked apologetically, "even though i specifically requested it," mumbling the last part under her breath.

you press your lips in to a small smile, grabbing your things as she thanked you in relief, your eyes light up at a familiar shade of strawberry brown, occupying the very seat next to the one you were supposed to replace, "makki?" you couldn’t help the grin as called out from behind.

he whipped his head towards you, eyes widened, mouth slightly agape as he eyed you a few times. as if making sure you weren't a fake, making sure the familiar resonance and tenor of your voice, the one he replays to himself some nights, making sure it wasn't just an auditory hallucination. "y/n."

eyes lighting up with excitement, you speed up towards him, engulfing his sitting form in a warm hug, arms wrapped around his neck as he breaths in your scent.

"missed me huh?" you don't miss the playful glint in his eyes as you finally let him go. "yeah," a beaming grin displacing the forlorn look on your face.

"what were you doing in the city?" you asked, squeezing past him into the window seat as he towered over to the side of the walkway to make room, you see his eyes glaze over for a split second before he says "just a reunion with the boys."

"how are they! you guys were always quite the gang."

"yeah," he paused, slight hesitation lingering in his voice, "they're good i mean, really good."

the thunder crackling, a shot of lightning briefly lighting the gloomy sky as the scenery beyond your cabin window blurred with the speeding train.

"you look awful," he says, words slipping out absentmindedly, his eyes widening in absolute horror as he spluttered an apology, rambling on, "not as in you're ugly but your clothes, your stuff, it just looks a little...disheveled."

you burst into laughter, the first time today, "my bag was stolen today, some guy on a motorbike snatched it and knocked me over, it was crazy! i tried chasing him too!" you recounted the story again, but for the first time today, in humour.

"pfft, sorry not the point, you tried chasing him?" his mouth curving into his signature lazy grin.

"what's your point strawberry head?" narrowing your eyes at him as he raised his hands, pleading innocence. "you okay though?"

"i'll survive, can't say the same for my job, had some really important work documents there, weren't supposed make copies, now they're gone."

"oh..."

"yeah, i'm so pissed but well the jury will be out after the weekend," you sighed, "but anyway should we be talking about how you look just as bad as me, makki?"

a boyish laugh resonates from him, it does something to you, the familiar scratchiness of it inscribed in your mind from long ago. the corner of his eyes crinkled, "shit i guess i do," he said. "mhmm," you hummed, nodded along in laughter.

"the reunion," he cleared his throat, "i mean first off, this is not even close to being as bad as your day," he precautioned.

"just get on with it," you rolled your eyes.

twisting and fiddling the ring on his pinky, "just saw everyone doing really well, what with oikawa and iwaizumi being on olympic teams, even mattsun has a steady career and plan you know? i think i'm second guessing myself? i thought i was living life, having fun, but sometimes everything feels like filler before death.”

you nodded along to him, listening intently. you had always known makki to be more of a free spirit so this was rare.

"we all have those days," you mumble under your breath.

you let a comfortable silence fall between you, rummaging your bag for the slightly squished convenience store sandwich and your earphones.

"it’s tough huh, trying to find our place now.” you said, handing him one side of your earphones.

“yeah, so much easier when you’re two dumbasses goofing around, playing with erasers and tic tac toe during class," he slotted in the bud, and you do the same, as the ambient music filled your ears.

“you and mattsun?" you probed.

“no you, you and me.” for second his playful facade falters. his eyes lingering on yours as you held each other captive, your stare burning through his enigmatic grey eyes, a raw emotional intensity that made it seem like time had slowed down, neither of you finding the courage to make a move in the moment of impenetrable tension.

"i guess the rain is quite fitting for a day like this." you finally dared to look away, taking in the storm weathering just beyond your window, "but somehow i feel a little better now makki. maybe it's your pink hair."

"you do love it," he said, "i feel a little better too," he whispered, and you barely catch it.

—

he took a deep breath in, releasing it in a heavy sigh. “miyagi air right? nothing like it.”

“can’t tell if you’re a free spirit or an old man now.” you stepped off the platform, bags in hand.

"let me walk you tonight. you don’t have an umbrella.”

“neither do you?” you pointed out, handing him one of your bags as the both of you walked towards the exit.

"don't worry, i've got a plan," he winked a cheeky smile playing on his lips.

—

the wind howls, your hair violently blowing into his face, "this was your genius plan makki? run a little faster will you!" you shout over the blaring pour of the rain, incredulous.

"easy for you to say, you're not the one hauling your heavy ass bag." one of your bags slung around his shoulder, arms stretched around the both of you as he holds his jacket up for cover. well, your cover, his exposed side completely drenched.

"we're close," you called out, awkwardly trudging across the puddle ridden road, his warmth emanating from beside you as your heart raced in your chest, though you couldn't decide if that was the rain or makki, more probably both you finally decided.

"we actually made it in one piece." you breathe a sigh of relief as you finally made it under the roof of your home, catching your breath a little as he twisted his rain soaked jacket.

"what are you waiting for? aren't you gonna open it?" he asked.

"okay what?"

"open the door?"

"i don't have the keys, they got stolen remember?" you said dubiously, now working the water out of your clothes as he gave you a baffled look.

"what? how are we gonna get in?

"well i assumed you had the keys?"

"how in the world would in have your keys?"

"in that confe-, letter i gave you? said you were here all the time you might as well have the key and gave you a key?"

"letter? what letter, y/n?"

"wait the letter...you didn't receive it?" the colour in your face drained, you took a sudden notice to his drenched figure.

"you're soaked dumbass." you say in an attempt to quickly move on, unzipping your bag to pull out a fresh t-shirt. he tries to stop you but you don't let him.

"shut up just let me do this makki." you pull on his forearm, tugging him down to meet your eye-level, his face inches from yours as you gently pat his face and neck dry.

"is this just an excuse to kiss me?" the same lazy smirk playing on his face again but his expression morphs into an unreadable one, eyes clouding, "the letter," he whispered looking down at you, his bangs skirting his lashes as you dabbed his cheek with a t-shirt.

"you wish you could kiss me," you joke.

"i do wish," he doesn't.

"was it a confession?" you didn't answer him, "can i kiss you makki?" the burning desire held off long enough as you somehow found the courage to ask.

makki broke into a smile, clumsily taking your hands in his, hurriedly dragging you back into the rain shower. hard rain hitting you, massaging your head, but even as you felt your senses become overwhelmed your attention was still singly engrossed by the man in front of you.

"what are you doing? i just patted you dry!" you reprimanded him, shouting over the pour of the rain, looking up at him, now 6'1, his soft gaze easily slipping past your faux stern one.

"it's more dramatic this way," he whispered, his hand gently caressing your face, thumb running circles on the now flushed apples of your cheek, his eyes becoming clearer to you as you finally begun to understand the liquid grey eyes that held you captive for so long. your heart speeding up again, butterflies fluttering aggressively in your stomach.

you tiptoed a little, eagerly reaching a hand into his now drenched strawberry pink hair that you were always so fixated on. he responded in kind, securing an arm around your waist, hoisting you up, you body colliding into his warmth, lower lip tingling a little as he traced it with his slightly calloused thumb. finally, he cups your jaw, taking your lips in his.

his lips warm, soft, impossibly plush against your own, the soft tickle of your hair on his cheek, your honeyed taste playing on his tongue, the shared warmth between you melding into one, your heartbeat synchronous, in perfect parallel with your harmonised movement. lips slightly parted, he bit your lower lip as you moaned a little.

"you think the neighbours can see us?" you pulled away, holding his cheeks in your hands, still in a slight daze.

"don't know, don't care."

"when did it become a drizzle?" you asked as he shrugged in response, desperate to capture your lips in his again.

and you guys stood there, in the light drizzle of the rain, soft rays of sunlight finally peaking through the glum clouds, making out for the audience of your entire neighbourhood, enjoying the petrichor of the rain. because yeah you were still locked out of your house, yeah you were probably getting fired and yeah he still didn't know shit about what he was gonna do, but everything seemed just a little bit better.

"i guess the rain was quite fitting for a day like this.”

sol's comments: can you tell i have no idea how to write a makeout scene? :")

m.list | each and every reblop is appreciated ☻ (+ free hugs)

[porkchop-ao3]

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 4)

Blackwater

The first night reader and Arthur met :) Contains suggestive conversation, violence and heavy drinking.

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

-

I could barely keep my eyes open but I could still hear. The piano had stopped playing and people were shouting, my brother being one of those voices. Who knew what they were saying? I didn't particularly care. I'd come here to let go, to drink and to forget everything for the rest of the evening, and that's exactly what I was doing. The barman had kept sliding shots across the bar and I had kept knocking them back, my hands still managing to find the coins for more despite being completely wasted.

Someone on my right was speaking to me, I’d told them to leave me alone but they persisted.

“Excuse me, ma’am?”

“Leave me be,” I grumbled back to him, holding my head up with both hands, elbows on the bar as I stared down into my shot glass.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, but-”

“What’chu want? You see a drunk woman at the bar and think she’ll be an easy lay?” I snorted, shaking my head before necking my shot.

“No, it ain’t like that. I’m trying to-” he cut himself off, and I heard his tone change. “You better back off, boy, or you’ll lose some more of those goddamn teeth, you hear?”

I slumped over to one side and tilted my head, catching a glimpse at the back of the guy’s head. There was most definitely a fight breaking out, but I couldn’t care less. I just wanted to enjoy my evening.

“Ma'am, you might want to move. Those men are getting a little rowdy and you're too close for my liking,” the man returned to me and warned, touching my elbow.

I pressed my hand against the bar and pushed myself up so I could look at him properly; I felt like I had the weight of the ocean keeping my head down, either that or the world was tilting and I was fighting against gravity to keep myself upright. I blinked until my eyes focused, and a handsome gentleman with pretty blue eyes and hair the colour of chestnuts came into view. Lots of movement behind him, my brother throwing a fist at someone he didn't like. Again.

“He'll tire himself out,” I told him with lazy lips. “'s my brother.”

There was a clatter and a series of smashes as someone got pushed into a table and I groaned in annoyance, wondering how much the barkeep would want for repairs.

“That's your brother? What's he doin’ getting into fights, shouldn't he be lookin’ after you?” The handsome man said irritably, looking over his shoulder and edging closer to me, arm outstretched as if to shield me as a glass came flying past us.

“He don't look after me, I look after me,” I told him.

The yelling got louder, messier, there were more people getting involved. The barkeep was the closest person to me who was yelling and the only raised voice I could understand. He was telling everyone to stop, take it outside, you'll pay for every broken glass or else.

“I paid for another drink five minutes ago, where is it?” I asked him, being completely ignored. “Hey! Gimme my goddamn drink!” Now I was raising my voice.

“Miss, I think we should leave now,” the man beside me urged, the hand on my elbow tightening into a grasp as the gang of men beating the crap out of each other grew.

“I ain't leaving here with you, I don't even know your name,” I slurred, I was getting annoyed, that bastard behind the bar had stolen my money!

“It's Arthur. I'm sorry, ma'am but I have t-” his body collided with mine roughly and I went tumbling over. I landed on my ass, falling backwards into someone else's legs and sending them flying too, we were like dominoes.

“You pushed me!” I whined up at Arthur, not even registering the cacophony of swear words being thrown at me from behind.

“My apologies, I was pushed,” he held his hand out to me and in the moment I didn't know what he wanted me to do with it. His lovely eyes flashed up over my head and he growled; “don't you start with her, I'm tryin'a get her out of here!”

He made an irritable sound and then I was being pulled up by my arms and pressed up against his side.

“Hey!” I called out, trying to organise my feet in such a way so that they weren't dragging on the floor. Somehow, I ended up outside; I could see my breath. The cool air sobered me up just enough that when Arthur let go of me, I stayed on my feet.

“You alright?” He asked.

“What'chu think you're doing?” I stumbled backwards, straightening out my skirt and blouse.

“Saving your hide, woman!” He snapped.

“I was having a drink!”

“I can damn well see that!” He gestured at me with both hands then shook his head and took a breath. “Never mind, I'm sorry. It was getting ugly in there and I can see you ain't in the best of conditions.”

“‘s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean you've clearly had a skinful, you weren't getting out of that place goin’ in a straight line,” he said and I cracked up. He shook his head in bewilderment as I laughed. “You want me to go get your brother?”

“Nah, he pulls this crap all the damn time, he'll be fine,” I waved my hand back and forth and leaned backwards. Luckily there was a post of some description behind me.

“What am I gonna do with you? I ain't just leaving you here. How far's your home?”

“Uhh, what town are we in again?” I slurred and he looked at me, slack jawed and vacant eyed.

“I’m just gonna put you in the hotel,” he decided.

“I ain't got the money for that!”

“My treat,” he tutted at me, wrapping his arm around my waist and walking me away from the saloon. His body was hot and solid against mine, I could tell he was strong. I giggled and wrapped a hand around one of his arms.

“Look at this big, strong man, takin’ care of me,” I commented, looking up at his face to see his cheeks redden. “Mama would approve.”

“Oh, I don't think she would,” he replied, shaking his head.

“Why's that? Don't be hard on yourself, sir, you're a handsome one,” I told him, patting his cheek. His jaw was a little coarse with stubble.

“And you're drunk,” he laughed, looking down at me.

“I can still use my eyes!” I exclaimed, tripping over my feet but staying upright thanks to the arm around me.

“Careful, now,” he warned.

He led me into the hotel and deposited me onto a chair, holding onto me for a moment to make sure I wasn't going to fall off of it. I was too far gone to be embarrassed about my behaviour and simply grinned up at him. He turned to the man at the desk and requested a room.

“A room for two?” The man questioned, eyeing me up and looking between us. I giggled.

“Yeah!”

“No,” both Arthur and I spoke at the same time.

“I'm jus’ kidding, he ain't getting into these britches that easy,” I laughed, noting the way Arthur looked back at me and cocked a brow in amusement.

“Just a single room for the lady,” he continued, turning back. “Thank you.”

Arthur made his way back to me and helped me up again, which required a lot of effort on his part. I rather liked being lifted around by such a nice man, I might've played up how off balance I was just to feel his arms tighten. I hummed in appreciation as his large hands settled firmly on my waist, feeling something stirring in me.

“I've never been held like this before, you know,” I told him. He frowned and seemed upset by this.

“I'm sorry, ma'am, I fear if I let go you'll hurt yourself,” he explained, taking my hand and putting it on the handrail of the stairs so he could better lead me up them.

“I weren't saying you should let go,” I said, and Arthur looked at me. His face was so close, he was so handsome, I beamed at him. He cleared his throat and looked down at my feet as he continued to help me up the stairs.

“Can you send some water up to the room, please?” He called back to the clerk.

“Of course, sir.”

“Come on, stand up straight, let's just get you into bed,” he muttered, hastening me.

“At least buy me dinner first,” I snickered. Arthur sighed and shook his head.

When we made it to the room he sat me down on the bed, prying my hand from where I'd wrapped it around him for support.

“Now, I'm gonna leave and you're gonna go to sleep and sober up, ya’ hear?”

“Ooh, so demanding,” I purred and snickered, laying back onto the mattress and peering up at him. Arthur flushed again and shook his head. A lady knocked on the door before she came into the room carrying a tray with some glasses and a container of water. She apologised for the intrusion and left it on the dresser before leaving again.

Arthur turned and filled a glass. “Sit up, get some fluids in ya’ that ain't booze.”

“I know what kinda fluids you could put in me.”

“Please. I'm tryin'a be nice,” he complained, holding the glass out to me. I simpered and did as he asked, drinking down the whole glass; he sighed with ease. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” I responded, surprising him. “This is all very gentlemanly of you.”

“Yeah well, if I'd have left you there you'd've been on my conscience and I already got enough on that,” he told me, taking a seat on the chair by the door. He sat for a moment, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the wall.

“Looks like you need this bed more than I do,” I laughed.

“No, I'm fine. I best be gettin’ on. You take care of yourself, alright? Get some sleep, and don't try going back for your brother tonight.”

“Don't worry, I weren't planning to. He is one heck of an idiot,” I rolled my eyes and laid down on my side, sighing pleasantly at the cushion of a comfy bed.

“You tell him to start lookin’ out for you. Family comes in many forms but it's important, you gotta stick together.”

“I will,” I assured him. He rose to his feet and made for the door. Before he left, I called out to him, telling him my name. “In case I see you around again.”

Arthur chuckled. “That's a lovely name, but, I don't think you will,” he tipped his hat at me before letting himself out. I sighed when the door clicked shut behind him and I rolled onto my back.

The booze in my system pulled me into slumber real quick, that and the comfortable bed and the lack of my brother's snoring through the wall. Arthur made his way into my dreams; the handsome cowboy filling my head with images and sounds that mama would definitely not approve of, and that would turn my face pink with shame once I was sober enough.  

[darling-cas]

We Are Young: Chapter 2

Throne of Glass High School AU

Summary: Senior Rowan Whitethorn is new to town. It doesn’t take him long to get use to a new school, make new friends, even join the local hockey team. But it also doesn’t take him long to meet sophomore and figure skater Aelin Galathynius. And it doesn’t take him long to realize one thing; he can’t stand her.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Lysaedion Shower Scene | Masterlist

--------------------

Standing in the middle of the school foyer, Dorian took a moment to stare up at the giant piece of fabric hanging from the ceiling.

The school colours stared back at him. LETS GO ROYALS jumped out, painted in red with a gold outline. Someone had even added red and gold sparkles, causing the banner to shine in the light of the school foyer.

The big game was in just a few days, and already the school was abuzz. Banners were being hung all over - in the hallways, classrooms, and especially around the front of the school - despite the fact that they would all have to come down for the game.

Dorian smirked as he walked by a banner that had been made just for him. “YOU HAVE A GOALIE, BUT WE HAVE A PRINCE!” Prince. A suitable nickname for the star goalie of the Royals. Everyone loved to say he was the best goalie they’d ever had, and if he was being honest with himself, he kind of was. That said, even he would admit the nickname was a bit much. Some girls came up with it his freshman year, and it stuck ever since.

“They sure love their hockey.”

Dorian looked to his left, pulling his lips back into a smile as Chaol stepped up next to him.

“Can you imagine what would happen if we didn’t win Friday night?” He turned back to the banner, giving Chaol a little nudge with his shoulder.

“Don’t say that too loud,” Chaol chuckled, jokingly glancing around. “Someone will probably eat you alive.”

Dorian couldn't resist the urge to roll his eyes. Turning away from the banner, he started making his way towards the main doors, Chaol following his every step.

“You nervous for the big game?” He asked Chaol, once they were out in the blinding sun.

“Nah.” Chaol gave a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s just like any other game. Everyone's just freaking out because it’s the first one of the year.”

“I think you’re the least enthusiastic hockey player ever,” Dorian teased. He bumped Chaol’s shoulder with his own as they walked down the front steps of the school.

“I prefer the term realistic.” Chaol’s lips pulled up in a small smirk, his eyes squinting in the sunlight.

Dorian chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

Chaol may not care much for the games, but he and Aedion were the team's best defensemen.

They had just reached the bottom of the stairs, making their way towards Dorian's car, when an all too familiar voice called out to him.

“Dorian!”

Turning around, he found Aelin Galathynuis walking towards him. Her unique turquoise-gold eyes glowed in the afternoon light. Golden hair flowed down her shoulders in perfect curls. Her lips were turned up at the corners as she came to a stop before him, book in hand.

They went back, him and Aelin. Back to before they were born, even. The Havilliards and Galathyniuses were two of the longest standing families in town. At some point, their families even became friends. Now, they simply tolerated each other - mainly because of Dorian’s father.

It took a while for Aelin to look at Dorain as anything but a Havilliard. While they were growing up, she and Aedion used to gang up on him. But one night, back when they were younger, they ended up bonding over their favourite books. She must have realized some time around then that he was nothing like his father, because they have been friends ever since. Before Chaol moved to town, Dorian used to escape to the Galathynius home when things got too much at his house.

Chaol was his best friend. But Aelin was his oldest.

“Hey Aelin.” Dorian turned completely around to face the blonde, a friendly smile still on his face.

“Hey!” Her smile was dazzling. However, it became more forced when she looked over at Chaol. “Chaol.”

A simple nod of his head was all Chaol gave her.

The tension around them suddenly became so thick, Dorian felt like he was choking on it. Thankfully, Aelin cleared her throat before turning her gaze back to Dorain.

“I saw you walk out of the school and wanted to give you back your book,” She held out the book in her hands - his copy of A Dance With Dragons. “Sorry it took so long to get it back to you.”

“No worries.” He reached out, accepting the book from her. “It’s not like it’s the shortest book out there.”

“You can say that again,” Aelin said. “But damn, it was good.”

Dorian laughed, smiling. But the smile slowly slipped off of his face in the awkward silence.

“So, uh, you excited for the big game Friday?” Aelin asked suddenly, her eyes shifting to Chaol for a moment before returning to Dorian.

“Pretty excited,” Dorian answered for both of them. Even though they all knew Chaol wasn’t that excited. “I just can’t wait to play an actual game again. You?”

“Of course,” Aelin nodded, a smirk pulling on the corners of her lips. “I’m a big hockey fan.”

“Oh, I know,” Dorian could help but chuckle. “I don’t think you missed a single game last year.”

“What can I say? The rink’s my home.” She gave a lazy shrug, smile growing. “And with that said, I better get going. I have practice at 3:30.”

Dorian nodded, smiling.

“See you later,” he called, as Aelin turned and walked away, sending a wave over her shoulder.

He waited, then when he was sure Aelin was out of earshot, he turned to Chaol with a pointed look.

“What?” Chaol raised an eyebrow.

“You could have at least said hi or something,” Dorian rolled his eyes. “Instead of standing here like your tongue was cut off.”

“We haven’t talked since this summer,” Chaol shrugged as they started making their way to the car. “And I’m not really in the mood to start.”

Dorian couldn't help but sigh as they weaved in and out of cars and people.

“You’re my friend. And I know I’ve said this a million times, but dude, it’s been months.” He groaned in frustration. “I know you two dated for six months or something, but don’t you think it’s time you forgave and forgot?”

“I told her I loved her and she replied by jumping on a plane and leaving for the summer. Without saying it back.” Chaol’s gaze turned heated as he glared over at Dorian. “It’s not exactly easy to forgive and forget that.”

“To be fair, you guys were already broken up when you told her you loved her and she left.” Dorian pointed out.

“Whose side are you on?”

“I’m not picking a side! I’m just saying. Besides, weren’t you with Nesryn by the end of the summer anyways?” Dorian pulled out his keys as their approached his car. “What happened to her?”

“Nothing happened to her,” Chaol shrugged. “We weren’t together. It was just…”

“You can say sex, Chaol.” Dorian rolled his eyes. “It was just sex.”

“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?”

Dorian couldn't help but throw Chaol a smirk as he unlocked the car doors. “That’s Prince Pain in the Ass, to you.”

Chaol simply gave him the finger over the hood of the car, and Dorian couldn't help but laugh.

“Get in, dick.” Dorian said, climbing in the car himself.

“Not a very nice thing to say to the person who has to defend you Friday night.” Chaol shot back with a small smile on his lips, also getting in the car.

“You fuck up Friday night and you’ll have the whole school on your ass.” Dorian gave Chaol a smug look before starting up the car. “Hey, maybe Nesryn will be at the big party after the game. The you guys can have - wait for it - sex.”

“Yeah,” Chaol rolled down his window, resting his arm outside as Dorian backed out. “And maybe Manon will be there too,” Chaol teased.

“You can be friends with girls without having sex with them, you know.”

“Well then. Looks like only one of us has the possibility of getting laid Friday night,” Chaol glanced over at him, a smug look on his face.

“I hate you, Westfall.”

“Sure you do, Havilliard.” Chaol waved him off, turning to look out the window.

Dorian rolled his eyes but there was a smile on his face. A quiet laugh left his lips as he turned up the radio, and pulled out of the school parking lot.

--------------------

Her legs were burning.

Her thighs were on fire. Despite the cold arena, she was sweating. A few smaller pieces of hair had fallen out of her long pony tail. She long ago got rid of her sweater. Now she was just in a simple black tank with her leggings and leg warmers. If she could take off more layers, she probably would.

But she kept going, kept pushing on.

She needed to land this jump.

She needed to land the triple lutz double toe loop.

Fighting through the aches and pains, Aelin skated faster. She picked up speed before turning backwards. Taking a deep breath in through her nose, she set up the jump. She stuck her right leg behind, setting up her arms, before putting her toepick in the ice.

Then she was flying.

She pushed off her toe, tucking everything in tight as she spun through the air. It all happened so fast, she didn’t have enough time to so much as register the wind blowing past her. Suddenly, she was back on the ice, leg stuck behind her once again before re-entering the air. When she landed this time, she held it. She felt her leg wobble slightly, but kept her arms and leg out, with her chin held high.

“Good.” Weylan Darrow nodded his head. His arms were clasped behind him as he spoke. “The landing needs work. And the take off for the toe loop is sloppy. But good.”

Aelin skated towards her Uncle and coach, nodding her head. She kept her hands on her hips, trying to catch her breath. They skated towards the boards, where Orlon was waiting with Nehemia, who was already gulping down water.

Orlon and Weylan coached together. They were a pair - they always were, ever since Aelin could remember. They were also the head coaches at the Rifthold Royals Figure Skating Club. But, they never worked on the same skater together. They would take turns. Aelin would practice with Orlon first then Weylan. Most people thought this was silly, stupid. But Aelin loved it. Weylan helped her with jumps while Orlon worked on spins and footwork. And while Aeiln was with one Uncle, Nehemia was with the other.

They weren’t usually Nehemia’s coaches. But her last coach up and left the club one day, randomly. Leaving Nehemia with no one. So, Orlon and Weylan took her in.

Weylan picked up his binder off the broads, flipping through the pages as Aelin greedily drank her water.

“We’re adding a triple lutz-triple toe to her routine,” He said to Orlon, nodding his head in Aelin’s direction.

Aelin all but choked on her water as Orlon raised an eyebrow in question at his partner.

“But she hasn’t done a triple lutz-triple toe yet,” Orlon said. “She hasn’t even been landing her triple lutz-double toe consistently yet. She barely pulled it off at Regionals a few weeks ago.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Uncle Orlon.” She mumbled under her breath. But he heard her still, casting her a sharp gaze before turning back to Weylan.

“She will,” Weylan didn’t so much as look up as he continued to write in the binder. “We’ll make it her opening jump. Open with a bang.”

“Regionals are just a month away, Weylan,” Orlon sighed.

Looking up finally, Weylan raised an eyebrow at his husband before turning to Aelin.

“Think you can land this jump before Sectionals?”

Her gaze shifted from Weylan, to Orlon, then to Nehemia - who was looking at her with a raised eyebrow and slightly concerned look - before going back to Weylan.

She couldn't keep the smile off of her lips or the excitement out of her eyes as she spoke.

“Yes, Coach Weylan.”

It was always Coach Weylan on the ice, and Uncle Weylan outside the rink. Aelin often wondered, if she hadn’t been calling him Uncle her whole life, whether or not he’d make her call him coach all the time.

Weylan’s look matched her own as he closed the binder.

“Then it’s settled. We’ll get to work on them tomorrow,” He glanced down at the watch on his wrist. “You girls have 5 minutes left on the ice, make the most of it.”

With one last glance their way, Weylan picked up his things and headed off the ice. Orlon stayed behind for a moment, shaking his head slightly. He skated past Aelin, stopping to place a kiss on her cheek, before following after Weylan.

Nehemia let out a low whistle once they were alone.

“A triple-triple combo,” Her brows were pulled together slightly as she studied Aelin. “You sure about this?”

Aelin couldn't help but roll her eyes, a smile pulling at her lips. “Of course. I have a month to practice it. Besides, with your speed and crazy spins, I’m gonna need this combo in order to kick your ass.”

“They are pretty good.”

“Wow,” Aelin let out a light laugh. “You have been hanging out with me too much.”

Nehemia simply laughed in reply as the sound of skates coming to a stop next to Aelin filled the air.

“Holy shit, Aelin.” The grin on Lysandra’s face was blinding as she spoke. “You should have seen Kaltain’s face when you landed that last jump. She was pissed.”

Looking over Lysandra’s shoulder, Aelin found Coach Clarisse - Lysandra’s coach - finishing up with her last skater, Archer Finn. And farther down the rink, Coach Perrington was just making his way off the ice. Kaltain stood by the boards, arms crossed over her chest as she glared at Aelin. When their gazes meet, Kaltain stuck her nose further in the air before grabbing her water bottle and skating off the ice.

“Of course she’s pissed,” Nehemia spoke up. “She spent all summer practicing and still has trouble with her triple flip. And yet, Aelin takes the summer off and now has a triple-triple combo in her routine.”

Lysandra’s wide eyed gaze cut to Aelin. “You’re adding a triple-triple to your program?”

“Don’t get too excited,” she grinned. But even Aelin couldn't hide her excitement as she spoke. “I haven’t actually done the jump yet. But as of now, if I can do it, it’s in the routine.”

Lysandra’s gaze stayed on her for a moment before cutting to Nehemia. Aelin watched the two with a raised eyebrow, about to say something. But not a beat later, Lysandra turned back to her, lips turning up in the corners.

“I don’t even know why Nehemia and I are competing this year,” She rolled her eyes in good nature. “You’re a shoe-in for Nationals.”

“I need to make it past Sentinels first, Lys.” Aelin laughed. “I may not even make it to Nationals.”

“Listen to her,” Lysandra leaned against the board, “trying to make us little folk feel better.”

“You placed 1st at Regionals, Aelin.” Nehemia pointed out with a laugh. “Of course you’ll get top 4 at Sectionals to move to Nationals.”

“You guys make it so hard to be humble.” Aelin teased, flicking her ponytail over shoulder.

“Is this what you skaters do all day?”

The sound of Aedion’s voice flooding across the ice caused Aelin to turn around as Nehemia rolled her eyes and Lysandra raised an eyebrow.

“He better be careful with what he says next,” she smirked. “I have great power over him right now.”

Aelin placed one hand on her hip as she took in the boys before her. The whole hockey team was there, standing by the boards. Aedion was front and center, a giant smirk plastered on his lips.

“And they call figure skating a sport,” he yelled across to them, causing Aelin to raise an eyebrow.

Nehemia sighed from behind her. “He’s asking for it, isn’t he?”

“He is so not getting any later.” Lysandra added.

But Aelin kept her gaze locked with Aedion’s. There was a daring look in his eyes. He was challenging her. And she never backed down from a challenge. He knew that.

With a smirk slowly gracing her lips, Aelin took off. She was aware of Nehemia calling out to her while Lysandra bit out a “serves him right,” but she didn’t look back.

She skated down and around the bottom of the ice before coming up the middle. The sound of the zamboni starting up was their signal to get off the ice, but Aelin didn’t listen to it.

She could feel everyone's eyes on her as she set up her jump. It did nothing to unnerve her - she lived for this.

Kicking her foot out in front of her, Aelin quickly turned backwards. She pushed off her toe, landing her triple flip flawlessly. And then, just to show off some more, she casually stuck a double loop on the end.

There were shouts, a few catcalls, and claps. She could hear Nehemia and Lysandra laughing behind her. There was a giant grin on her face as she spun around to face the boys, giving them a little curtsy.

Then her eyes clashed with Rowan’s.

He was the only one not reacting - just standing there. Even Lorcan was rolling his eyes and grumbling under his breath. But Rowan was doing nothing.

When he met her gaze, his lips thinned. His eyes had turned hard as he glared at her slightly. Annoyance was written all over his face.

The smugness Aelin felt a moment ago vanished. Anger took its place as she glared right back at him.

She didn't know what his problem was, why he hated her so much, but it was pissing her off. He didn’t even know her. And she was getting sick of him looking at her with nothing but hatred every time their paths crossed.

She held Rowan’s gaze for another moment, her lips pressed together and brows narrowed. Then, she turned on her blade and skated back to the boards to grab her sweater. The whole time, there was a look of irritation covering her features.

If he wanted to hate her, fine. She’d let him. But she didn’t care how hot or attractive he was, she was going to make his life hell.

--------------------  

Lysandra should have been in heaven.

She was pressed against her bed, Aedion’s muscular and shirtless frame pushing down on her. A large hand gripped her waist, lazily moving up and down her sides. The movement caused her shirt to ride up further and further while her fingers wrapped themselves in his long hair. His mouth - oh, that damn wicked mouth of his. He placed a heated kiss on her lips, biting and sucking her bottom lip before trailing kisses along her jaw, down her neck, nipping her skin as he went - yeah, she definitely should have been in heaven.

To be fair, part of her was. She still couldn't stop the soft moan that left her lips, her hips arching against him as Aedion lightly nipped and suck the sensitive spot between her neck and shoulder. He replied with his own growl, deep in his throat. Running one hand down her side, over her hip, he stopped on her thigh, hitching it up around his waist. His lips met hers again as his hands found their way under her shirt, slowly creeping their way up, his touch as light as feathers on her skin. Lysandra wanted nothing more than to melt into that touch.

But she couldn't. She wasn’t fully there, in the moment.

And Aedion noticed.

“Come back to me,” He breathed against her lips, his fingers stopping to draw lazy shapes just under her breasts.

God, she wished she could. But it wasn’t happening.

With a sigh, Lysandra pulled back. She sat up, back against her headboard as Aedion rolled off her with a groan.

“Do you think Aelin’s okay?” She asked after a moment.

With another groan, Aedion threw an arm over his forehead as he stared up at the ceiling.

“You’re seriously thinking about my cousin right now?”

“Shut up,” Lysandra’s sharp gaze cut to Aedion as she smacked his shoulder. “I’m being serious right now.”

There was a beat of silence before Aedion let out a sigh. Lysandra watched as he sat up, sliding back until he, too, was resting against the headboard.

“She seems fine, I guess.” He said, a slight look of confusion on his face. “She seemed fine to me at lunch and-”

“No,” Lysandra shook her head. “I mean, is she okay? You know, after the summer and everything that’s happened.”

The confusion on Aedion’s face faded and understanding took over.

“I…” He paused, taking a moment to pick his words carefully. “I honestly don’t know.”

“I thought you two told each other everything?”

“We do. For the most part,” He explained. “But Aelin… she likes to wear a mask. She doesn’t let people see how badly she’s hurting. And with everything that happened with Sam… I think there's a lot she's not showing or telling.”

All Lysandra could do was nod as she bit her lip. She knew what Aedion was saying was true. Aelin did wear a mask a lot of the time. She hid behind smiles and jokes, even when she didn’t have to. Just the thought of her best friend silently suffering caused her heart to ache.

“She’ll never be like she was before.”

Aedion’s voice was so soft, so gentle. The unspoken words hanging between them.

Before Sam.

Running a hand through his hair, Aedion let out a loose breath.

“Why do you ask, anyways? Did something happen?”

Taking in a deep breath through her nose, Lysandra let her head fall back against the wooden headboard.

“Coach Weylan wanted to add a triple-triple to her program today. And she let him.” She explained, and when Aedion sent her a confused look, she continued. “Aelin’s a perfectionist, you know this. She wouldn’t dare agree to add a jump to her program unless she could land it flawlessly. That’s why she works so hard and how she got where she is now. But,” Lysandra sat up straighter, meeting Aedion’s intense stare. “She’s never even tried this jump before. And she let him add it, without a second thought. That’s… that’s not Aelin.”

Aedion had no response to this, and Lysandra knew it was because he knew every word she said was true.

“She does something like this, and I’m reminded of how much she’s changed.” She continued. “But then she goes and shows off for the hockey team, and she’s old Aelin again.”

“She’s lost, that’s all. We just need to help her find herself again.” Aedion wrapped an arm around Lysandra’s shoulders. He pulled her close, placing a kiss on her temple. “Besides, did you see that glare she gave Rowan at the end? That was definitely an Aelin glare.”

This caught Lysandra’s attention.

“Rowan?” She sat up, turning to face Aedion. “As in your boyfriend Rowan? New guy Rowan?”

He simply rolled his eyes at her comment.

“I’m pretty sure those two have only met once. But oh man, the hatred basically poured off them.” He chuckled. “If he wasn’t so tough I’d be worried. Being on the receiving end of Aelin’s hate is not fun.” A cocky smirk started to form on his face. “Not that I’d know. But you might.”

Lysandra honestly had stopped listening at that point. She was too intrigued at the thought of Aelin and Rowan. She never met the boy before, but from what she heard he was… on the more serious side. Tough, collected. He had a small group of friends and, most importantly, didn’t take anyone's bullshit.

Almost the opposite of Aelin.

A smile slowly started to spread on her lips.

“What are you thinking?” Aedion raised an eyebrow at the look on her face.

“Nothing,” She replied, with a slight shake of her head.

It could work. Rowan and Aelin, that is. As friends or more, she wasn’t really sure yet. She’d put more thought into it later. Because she now felt lighter. She was still worried about Aelin, but she was glad she‘d talked to Aedion about it. She didn't feel so bogged down anymore. Her eyes also found their way to his shirtless torso. So yeah, she was done thinking for the night.

“I’m going to shower,” She said suddenly, jumping off the bed.

She only made it a few steps before turning back around. Aedion was making himself comfortable on the bed before reaching for his phone.

With a smirk slowly pulling at the corners of her lips, Lysandra reached down and pulled off her shirt. She flicked it at Aedion, causing his head to snap in her direction.

“You’re coming.” Her stomach tightened as Aedion’s heated gaze devoured her body.

She turned on her heel, and reached behind her back, unclasping her bra. She let it fall to the floor as she continued on her way. The smirk on her face grew as she heard the bed creak, as Aedion jumped up.

His voice washed over her - a sensual purr. “Yes ma’am.”

[kokichino-benaben-blog]

ITH Shorts #2: Her

Guess who's still writing? Hahaha, this bitch right here lmao. Here's a particularly edgy piece. I'd make it less edgy, but I just got out of exams...so I'm kind of drowning in feels. In other news, y'all will be getting more frequents with the story now! Of course, they're all snippets, but it's better than nothing amirite? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   “Is it really over?” Wrath asks me, looking at me worriedly. I try to avoid his gaze. It’s a question I’d rather not answer.

   “Yeah.” I let out an exasperated sigh. But maybe I should answer. Wrath gingerly puts his hand on my shoulder. Sparks sporadically fly off the crack in my skin. Wires peek out of the cracks like unsuspecting plants growing between the cracks of a sidewalk. Any more damage and I would’ve looked like a walking system unit.

I try to wipe off the blood from my chin, but I end up smearing it, making it worse. I try to rub off the blood on my hands, but it won’t come off. I wish I could cry. Too bad I don’t have tear ducts. I wish I could cry. I wish I could forget. But I have all my memories synced to computers in the lab. It’s all just too bad.

   “In the end, no good came of it.”

   “You sure?” He doesn’t look convinced. I sure don’t feel convinced either.

Because maybe, I too, want to know if it really is over.

Because it certainly doesn’t feel like it.

She was never mine, but I still let her go.

Or rather, she let go of me.

I look back in the bloodied alleyway. I see her. I discreetly wave to her, hoping maybe we could salvage this.

She doesn’t wave back.

I guess we can’t.

I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. Even without a functioning heart.

“Yeah. I’m sure.”

Because I don’t want to admit that it is all over. But it hurts so damn bad for it to be true.

Both inside and out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   “I have better things to do than be here.” She looks at me as if it’s my fault she’s here. It isn’t. I shuffle awkwardly in my seat. The feeling’s mutual. At least we’re on the same page.

   “Me too. I have to make dinner tonight. The sooner we hit the books, the sooner we’ll both get to leave.” I look at her, trying not to throw the chair next to me at the wall. I mean, she hasn’t done anything (yet) to make me hate her. Other than the fact that she dates a jerk.

I shouldn’t hold that against her. Sure, her boyfriend isn’t the epitome of evil (Satan is), but he’s racist. Painfully so. Unfortunately, he’d rather use his fists to make his opinion clear rather than words. Then again, he’s tame compared to the others. I rub my bandaged arm underneath my uniform. It’s been about a saptāha since her so-called boyfriend and his friends ganged up on me and almost broke my non-cybernetic arm. It still hurts.

I take a deep breath and exhale. It’ll only be as bad as I make it out to be. Besides, it’s not like this could possibly escalate to anything bad so long as her boyfriend doesn’t know, right? What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him.

   “So what do you need help with?” I try to put on my best smile. I keep staring at her chocolate eyes.

She seems to take the hint.

   “Nothing really.” She sounds like she means it.

   “Your parents say otherwise.” I quip good-naturedly.

   “Hey, you can’t hold me up against unrealistic Cipherean* standards. I can’t help it if my parents have high-as-fuck expectations of me.” She retorts, not so good-naturedly.

* Cephirean= Eastern Asian (it’s a work in progress)

   “Whoa there, I didn’t ask for a life story. I’m just here to tutor you.”

She stares blankly at me for a second in confusion. Shit, that’s what her expression seems to say. She blinks back into reality and blushes profusely. Well, this is going great. At this rate, I just might make it home by just half past never.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that people make assumptions because I date a ‘jock’ that I’m a stupid blonde bimbo. Well, I’m not.” She grabs strands of her ombre cherry blonde hair and points to them. “And okay, I’ll admit my grades are slipping, but I didn’t think it’d be so bad that I’d need you,”  She gestures to all of me, “to tutor me.” Her eyes throw daggers at me. “No offence, there’s nothing wrong with you.” She gestures to all of me again.

Like I’d believe that. Everything is wrong with me. Low-esteem and boys don’t exactly work well together. Especially if you’re the universe’s punching bag. Which is a title I wish I didn’t have. But I do, which sucks. A lot.

“Well, at least there’s you to believe there’s nothing wrong with me. That’s a first.” She smirks. “You haven’t been down on the streets, have you?”

“Actually, contrary to popular beliefs, I haven’t. It’s not like my parents would let me out there anyway, took me ages to convince them I was mature enough for a boyfriend...Why are you asking?” She gasps, her face turning pale. “You aren’t a drug dealer-- are you?”

“That’s what you’re concerned about?” I chuckle. This girl certainly has her priorities straight. I was scared she was going to ask if I was a murderer. Which I definitely wasn't. At all. Nothing to hide at all.

She raises a concerned eyebrow. I quickly reply, “No, I’m not.” to assuage her growing fear that her serial-killer tutor was a drug dealer. Because I am definitely not. Her face slowly gains colour. She’s sceptical.

She has every right to be.

“Moving on, I didn’t catch your name. Your name is?” She brings out her hand for a handshake.

I hesitate. What if I grow attached to her? I’ll suffer for it. But I have to tell her my name. It’s common courtesy. I bring out my hand to shake hers. “Kaito. Kaito Riseborough.” I reply.

   “But no one calls me Kaito. I just go by Kai.” I quickly add.

We shake hands. I hold on for a little too long.

   “Well, I just go by Genevieve. But my close friends call me Vive.” Genevieve laughs this bubbly laugh, and it makes me want to hurl. I don’t need this. I don’t want to like her. Or like like her for that matter.

   “Am I one of your ‘close friends’?” I joke.

   “You might earn that highly coveted title soon.” Genevieve giggles. “But seriously, like you said before, the sooner we do this, the sooner we get to go home. I want to binge watch Faye.”

The universe is trying so hard to make me not like her. “How far are you?” I ask before I realize that if we keep talking like this, we’ll never get to leave the godforsaken library.

“You really don’t want us to leave this library, do you?” Eyeing me carefully, she continued. “If you must know, I’m three seasons behind. I’m only one season five.”

I try hard not to fanboy. I try hard to keep myself from spoiling the season for her. I swallow my excitement and compose myself. “So what do you need help with?”

   “I don’t really need your help.”

   “Not this again.” I look at her knowingly. It’s a vicious cycle. I guess we both don’t want to leave.

   “Okay, well maybe I might need a little help with Universal History. We got this project-”

   “Wait. You're a freshman? I thought you were a junior.” I exclaim. Genevieve looks much older than 14.

   “Shhh. We’re in a library. And yes, I am. It’s the makeup, I look like a baby without it. So there’s this unit project-”

   “Where you research about lost races and civilizations across the universe and present it to the class as a five-minute lecture.” I finish. “You have Miss Ahn, right?” She nods. “Yeah, we did the same thing last semester.”

   “Awesome! Kind of off topic, but how was the exam for U.H? I heard it was easy but then I heard it was hard, so I’m kind of worried.”

   “It’s not that bad-” She looks relieved. “But it’s not easy either.” The look of relief disappears. “I can lend you my notes if you need them.” I quickly finish.

   “Really? I mean, I’m doing fine in her class, but that exam is worth 20%. And as much as I hate to admit it, I need to bring my average up.” She looks grateful. My heart does a figurative backflip.

How am I supposed to do this?

I guess even if a lot of me is just wires and circuits, I’m still cursed with falling for the first pretty girl I see. Funny how that works. I don’t even have a functioning heart. Not like hearts really have anything to do with feelings. It’s all just symbolism.

   “Because, you know-”

   “Cephirean parents?” I finish her sentence.

   “Yeah.”

   “Don’t worry. Athiean parents aren’t so easy on their kids either. It’s either be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer.” I chuckle softly. Almost all my cousins are either doctors, lawyers or engineers, or some other high-paying job. “If not…” I make a gesture of me cutting my neck with a knife.

   “Oof. What a mood. My parents want me to be a pharmacist. But I just want to be a cat lady.” She sighs dreamily. “Say, what do you suggest that I do? For, you know, the project. It’s worth 10%.” She looks nervous again.

   “I know, I did the project already. But I thought it was a group project?”

   “It is. But I wanted to do it on my own. Working in groups are a pain. I do most of the work anyways for every project. My classmates are just lazy asses.”

   “Smart choice.” I think for a bit.

   “Maybe...you should do the human race. We don’t hear about them often, now do we?”