#laurence you have no idea

[impishtubist]

"Does your heart yearn for a quiet retirement at the end of your service, and a house in the country?"

"Only if there were room enough for a dragon."

THE FORESHADOWING

[captain-rickbond]

Lazzzz ♡︎

[val-of-the-north]

Based on Grand Cathedral observations made by @katyspersonal lol

[mx-myth]

Little thing I wrote because everyone was throwing prompts around on the discord and I got inspired.

When Laurence was young, it was disappointing to be markless. He was never content with not having a soulmate, even with the informal arrangement he had with Edith. He remembers conversations spent together, wondering how long they would have to wait before their soulmates would be born and for their mark to appear.

He cares much less about it now. Perhaps he had felt belated horror after the initial shock ran through his crew aboard the Reliant as Temeraire first spoke and as black scales bloomed across his face. Laurence had felt nothing at the time, no physical sensation to signify the appearance of his soulmark. It was only when Temeraire was eating that Riley had stepped up and quietly told him of what had occurred.

It had taken him a long time to come to terms with having a dragon as a soulmate. But now Laurence wears his mark with pride. Black scales cover his left cheek, reaching down his neck and over the majority of his chest, inked across three-quarters of his arm and stretching down to mid-thigh. It is a huge mark, which would be looked down upon in the polite society in which he was raised. But why wouldn't it be large, given that Temeraire has dominated his life since he entered it?

Laurence remembers being reassured upon meeting the other aviators. Harcourt has lilies blooming up and down her back, she's said, and at times he can glimpse the edges of petals peeking up out of her collar at her neck. Granby has an entire bicep encircled with fire, which became immediately self-explanatory when Iskierka hatched, and even more so when he lost part of his arm. Berkley, in contrast to how large Maximus is, has scales scattered across the backs of his hands in Regal Copper red. James has Volly's colours painted up and down his legs. The Rolands both have blue and orange and white over their cheekbones. Even Little, who Laurence counts as an acquaintance verging on friend, has Immortalis around his wrists. Very quickly he learned that it was more uncommon for an aviator and their dragon to not be soulmates; his large and prominent mark apparently did a lot of work smoothing his arrival in ways he was unconscious of in the beginning.

He had worried also in the beginning whether the rumor was true that dragons didn't have soulmarks. He was afraid of him and Temeraire being different, more so than they already were. But on that front so too were his concerns put to rest.

Perhaps he should have known better. After all, he had known as soon as he looked into Temeraire's blue eyes and seen the storming, crashing waters of the sea within them, no shore in sight as the sky wheeled overhead. It was the sight that made him fall in love with the sea the first time and, he thinks fondly, scratching Temeraire under his closed eye, the sight that made him fall in love with Temeraire too.

(I have a fountain pen and so it doesn't dry up I try and write a little bit every couple of days. Most of it is temeraire-related; I'm thinking the ones small enough to not be fics technically I might post)

[vaguely-concerned]

kill me

(*wobbly tearstained voice* this is father & son richard plantagenet in henry vi part 3 1983 dir jane howell btw. which is. extremely good)

[ferronickel]

In typical Ferronickel fashion, I am now plagued with thoughts about how the Brontë's juvenilia would be different in a world where the military had dragons, a subsection of interests that is so irrelevant to everyone else that it's barely every worth mentioning on this site, let alone creating any fanworks about.

I'm gonna do a little incomprehensible rant in the tags about it and the go on my merry way. Please ignore the following

[jeremiahthefroge]

Unironically, IS there anywhere to get a good beat-by-beat plot synopsis of the original Minecraft Diaries without watching it all the way through? I want to get a good idea of all the plot beats and characters and the general timeline to see about writing some fanfic, because the characters are living rent free in my brain, but I'm also like... VERY aware that it's a 2016 minecraft roleplay series... and I fear that I will ruin my own mental image of the series if I try to rewatch it all...

[best-enemies]

Just watched S09E11 of CSI, 'The Grave Shift', after last night's 'One to Go'. I don't think I'll ever recover from Grissom, my favorite character, leaving the show, but his exit was still beautiful and so, so Grissom. Him just telling the team "Yeah so, I'm leaving" and having little moments with each of them, warmed my heart (the character that represented me the most was David, who had to bolt out of the room after Grissom said, "I'll miss you, though", barely managing to hold back the tears before leaving).

And oh my god. His reunion with Sara. They didn't even need words and it was absolutely perfect. Watching Grissom feel physical pain from his break up with Sara broke my heart -- you can see how much he loves her. I hate that they'll break up again; I don't remember how or why exactly, but it feels unnecessary, but I'm comforted by the fact that, ultimately, they'll end up together for the rest of their lives.

One of the things I love about this episode is how they all paid a little homage to Grissom and, near the end, Nick, who was offered Grissom's office, invited Greg and Riley to share it with him. Fits right in with Nick's sweet personality. I love how he says they need all the good energy from that place. He's really Grissom's n#1 pupil ♡

(Shout out to Hodges, one of my favorite characters from this rewatch, walking in and bringing the pig fetus saying it belongs there. I love how bitter he is after Grissom left and how he's not willing to get over it any time soon. Forget David, Hodges is the character that represented me the most, lol).

I need to say, my brain completely ignored the fact that, when Grissom offered Ray Langston a job as a CSI he said that it was an "entry-level job". Instead, I thought he'd get the job as the team leader and it was weird for me to see him being so inexperienced at a job. But all of that is because, one, I haven't rewatched CSI in ten years and forgot about like, 97% of the show and two, I have rewatched Hannibal way too many times and got used to Laurence Fishburne playing a boss, and a damn good one. I do like his character, though!

I'm not a fan of Riley though. I don't know why, she seems mostly competent at her job, fit right in, but at the same time it's not really like she fit in? I felt like maybe she could have had some adaptation into the team, after all she was replacing a long-time team member, Warrick (will talk about him later). Her introduction and adaptation into the team felt a bit sudden and "inorganic" and maybe that's why I don't love her sassy remarks and sort of 'cool girl' personality. Yeah I love Sara but I don't love Riley for the reasons listed above. That could change, though!

Warrick. Oh, man. For Gedda/For Warrick were the most painful episodes to watch and I stalled for months. Some of the team got to have a nice last moment with him, others didn't. It broke my heart how at peace he was in his last hours, hanging out with the work fam, feeling relieved for not losing his job, which was a huge part of his life. I do hate that it had to end like that for him. I get that his death represented the loss of innocence, and that that team wasn't going to last forever... but it's just really painful. To know that he didn't have anyone else, only his soon, which we don't know if he was able to see often...

Too many things happening at once, too many changes, and bumpy ones, but I hope we'll get into a smooth road once again.

[girlanachrotism]

Back to the grind (thinking about Bloodborne)

[fakecats]

guys this cold weather is changing me ive been grinding every single day. working on my website working on my p5 fanfic trying to finish my comic . im gonna release so much shit all at once

[synthwayve]

DEVOURING THIS ACTUALLY

Micolash and Laurence sneak out to drink, 1820. 6 months after the discovery of the Old Blood

Comic series here

[mx-myth]

Okay so I've had some meta thoughts about Laurence's amnesia and how it relates to his relationship with Tharkay sitting in my drafts for like over a year now so I figured I'd finally clean it up and post it. Heads up it's really long.

Laurence finally consciously realises that he loves Tharkay (or is in love with him, whatever nuance you'd like) after "knew him, and knew himself." But at this point he's completely in pieces as a person (more on this next paragraph). Post-amnesia, he's an entirely different man. Pre-Temeraire Laurence is the harshest, strictest version both of and with himself. He follows the rules to the letter, basically takes Temeraire only out of duty in the beginning, and even keeps the promise between him and Edith despite there being no formal arrangement at all. Post-Temeraire but pre-amnesia Laurence has softened. He's putting less emphasis on the rules and more on his morals (see: treason). He has more leeway but still carries that honor/duty/order with himself.

Which is why post-amnesia Laurence is the version of himself that discovers that he loves Tharkay. In the wake of losing his memories and then regaining them he's lost and unmoored. Both of his past selves are so different and therefore so distant. They're both true but it's too jarring for him - especially in his current circumstances, much less the overall war - so Laurence becomes a new person. This is Laurence at his most vulnerable, his most unguarded, who smiles more often now because he doesn't really know that he didn't smile that much before. He has two major tethers to his personhood: Temeraire and Tharkay (I hesitate to say only tethers, simply because Laurence's life isn't that small, but repeatedly these two are the ones who have had the biggest impact on his life, who have kept him going). Obviously he loves Temeraire, he's never going to stop loving Temeraire, he just isn't capable of it, but seeing Temeraire didn't bring back his memories (I can't imagine how Temeraire must have felt, meeting a version of Laurence who had never met him). Laurence loves Temeraire in the most unconditional, selfless way - to be very Greek about it, his philia. But I think when he finally comprehends how Tharkay was the catalyst behind this radical change of his self he dives into his memories again and goes over them in excruciating detail (and he was definitely doing that already, but now he's doing it with a lens exclusively focused on Tharkay). At some point he comes to the realisation that Tharkay loves him, and that he loves him, and that he's been unconsciously shoving it down every time it's surfaced (past-Laurence was saying no homo while actively homo-ing). And with the benefit of being an new version of the same person (and also some hindsight, finally), this Laurence says, I've committed treason. My country sees me as a traitor but they still need me to serve them as a tool. I lost myself once in a war (see: "what are you doing?") that's still being fought. Time is short and there's no guarantee I won't lose my memories again, that I will still be the person I am right now. What do I have to lose?

(And on some level, this Laurence thinks, what can stop me?)

He begins giving to Tharkay what Tharkay always had given to him. His acts of devotions start small (relative to Tharkay's; transporting too many ferals is obviously a little outside of what Laurence can feasibly do). He cares for Tharkay once he wakes ("have you noticed the top of your head appears likely to come off?"), he helps him eat and drink, he massages his hands once they heal, he stays with him through the nightmares that come to haunt him. And he continues doing these little things for Tharkay, hoping that he understands (he's willing to wait, Tharkay waited for him after all, and Laurence doesn't want to push him, especially as he's healing). But I think the act that hits Tharkay like, oh, it's different this time is when Laurence bargains his freedom to Napoleon. I feel like that carries unspeakable meaning for Tharkay, who was ostracized growing up and ended up never having a "permanent" home since he travelled so much. I can't imagine that he hasn't been in a similar situation before, but he's probably always been expected to weasel his way out of it without any outside help. He's trained himself out of expecting someone to help him, to care enough about him to save him. Yet part of the man who turned to treason simply so the dragons of France wouldn't die in pain lives on in this Laurence. Pre-Temeraire Laurence is rules and post-Temeraire pre-amnesia Laurence is morals, but post-amnesia Laurence is all heart. There was never a way he was going to leave Tharkay behind.

So Tharkay starts watching him. He watches Laurence continue to devote himself to him, again and again. He brings him his coat on cold days. When it rains and their scars ache he curls around his hands and rubs lotion into them. When he goes into town he always brings Tharkay back a little gift. He starts growing vegetables in the garden and he learns how to cook non-wartime foods and how to knit (because he is a man forged by war and what does one even do during peacetime when one's dragon is busy reforming the government, anyway?) and suddenly he's providing for Tharkay like never before. He looked away for one moment and suddenly Laurence's prescence and all that he does has made the manor a home.

Yet Tharkay, for years, has told himself so many times that Laurence is off-limits, untouchable, that he can love him but that there's no chance that Laurence will love him back. The only way he can love Laurence is silently, nearly from afar, and so he tried to do that. But he can't just stand by and so every time he finds himself committing a deux ex Tharkay (see: ferals, again). He understands that there's some shit Laurence needs to learn himself (and god is this series very good about character development for Laurence) but he's not going to do nothing when the man in about to die. For him it's about caring and providing for Laurence even if he doesn't know it. He learns to content himself with the knowledge that, even if nothing comes of it, he can still be by Laurence's side.

But then the amnesia plot happens (which he only learns of after all of it goes down) and suddenly there is a half-stranger wearing the skin of the man he loves (loved, he tells himself) looking at him with those familiar blue eyes filled with a completely unfamiliar emotion. He's relieved that Laurence remembers but he's said that his Laurence is gone that he's even thinking of it like that (Tharkay has a lot of anger, both at himself and others and the world). Laurence is right in front of him, he's not gone at all, but he's gone in a way that matters. But also this new Laurence is by his side all the time. He's feeding him and helping him drink and dress and he sleeps on the floor by his bedside. Tharkay is so confused because this has to be some kind of fantasy dream he's having. He must still be in the cave (and it's believable that he is, because he returns there every night in his dreams). But he isn't and he has to struggle to come to terms with this new Laurence.

So every time Laurence does something even remotely nice he hyper-analyses it and rationalizes it to himself. He deludes himself into thinking that this is normal for Laurence now. It's normal for Laurence to fuss and hen over him now; it's normal for him to smile at him with that emotion written plainly on his face that Tharkay still hasn't (refuses) to decipher. And he does this well into post-canon.

For that reason he only gets with the program when Laurence has to leave the manor (leave home) for a long while (probably with Temeraire) and suddenly Tharkay is all alone in this huge manor. He's wearing the socks Laurence knitted for him and eating food Laurence grew and walking into rooms and seeing little parts of him scattered everywhere. There's a novel he's reading left on the table by the chair he prefers in the library. There's a cookbook in the kitchen in which he's bookmarked recipes he thinks he might like. Tharkay finds a handwritten list of things they need to buy in town left out for him. He left his pillows on Tharkay's bed because he knows he likes sleeping with a ton of pillows (and they smell like him, and Tharkay pretends he doesn't bury his face in him, that he doesn't miss him while he's gone). When Tharkay wakes up in the morning he makes two cups of tea and waits for Laurence to come in from talking with Temeraire before remembering that neither of them are here (home). He expects Laurence to appear in the evenings to ask if he wants to go on a walk through the grounds with him (and he always ends up saying yes). Tharkay learns that the manor is too big for one man who has always been a little too lonely in his life.

So until Laurence returns home he plots and plans and agonizes. After a week once Laurence has come home (and the first thing he had said to him was welcome home, and Laurence had beamed at him, and it was so unbelievably natural to say it) Tharkay begins his attempts at reciprocating. He wakes up earlier so that he can brew Laurence tea so he can take it out to sit with Temeraire. He says that he cooked some of the recipes from Laurence's cookbook and insists on making them for Laurence (he had to figure out his system of marking which recipes were Laurence's favourites). He gifts him a sturdy, functional, and beautifully crafted knife to wear around the house for daily use; he specifically makes sure the knife is up to Temeraire's standards. In fact, Tharkay talks to Temeraire about everything, and Temeraire tells him, with no minced words while completely drawing his own conclusions, that it's very nice that Tharkay is asking him for his blessing, but does he really need it at this point? Haven't they been courting long enough? He's always approved of Tharkay, because he makes Laurence happy.

That's how Tharkay realises he and Laurence have been dancing around each other like shy birds, both of them subtly showing off but not making the first move. And maybe he realises that Laurence is thinking how he used to think - that it's okay as long as he can be by his side, that he doesn't need his love reciprocated (it's a very long chain of Tharkay loving Laurence, Laurence knowing Tharkay loves him and loving him back, and Tharkay loving Laurence and knowing he knows he loves him and loves him back). And of course Tharkay wasn't going to make the first move back then, and if Laurence hasn't by now, then maybe he should borrow some of Temeraire's courage.

It's something small. The words come later, given how action-forward both Laurence and Tharkay are. They don't even need words. Maybe Tharkay takes Laurence's hand during dinner and intertwines their fingers, maybe he touches Laurence's cheek after he's braided his hair as their eyes meet in the mirror, maybe as they pack away the port and piquet he kisses him good night. Whatever it is, they look at each other and simply know. Tharkay sees Laurence slowly start to smile, a huge one that spreads across his entire face, one that he's only seen on Laurence when he thinks he's alone with Temeraire. He seems to brighten, almost radiating light.

For his part, Laurence reciprocates. He squeezes Tharkay's hand, he turns his cheek into Tharkay's touch, he pulls him in for another kiss. He watches as something seems to drop from Tharkay, something that he hadn't even known he was carrying. He becomes loose and relaxed, his body language more open as he looks at Laurence with one of his little smiles, a bit of shyness that he's never seen before evident on his face. He tells Tharkay that he's the most beautiful person he's ever seen.

[munsonsmixtapes]

munsonsmixtapes masterlist

Anthony Bridgerton

Tired of Waiting

After years of being friends, Anthony goes away causing a rift in your friendship. when he comes back, however, you both realize that you want to be much more than friends. Very loosely based on "Love Story" by Taylor Swift

request: you and Anthony are convinced that you’re enemies until you’re not

Benedict Bridgerton

Paint Me series

After ten years of being away, you come back and your old friend, Benedict has eyes for you despite not remembering you.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four (18+)

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

Benedict x bestie!fem!reader series (discontinued)

A look into your life with Benedict as the two of you grow up together.

Benny

Ben

Falling For Ya

You meet Benedict and after falling in front of him in a game of tag, you continue to fall for him in more than ways in one for the rest of your lives.

part one

request: you tell Benedict that you don't want to have children

request: your fiancé Benedict worships your body after you struggle with some insecurity (18+)

request: You see Benedict dancing with another woman and think your courtship is over, but he assures that he loves no one but you

Tyler Owens

Save a Horse (18+)

A night of line dancing at a bar with your best friend Tyler makes you realize that you'd much rather ride a him than a horse.

Make it Real (18+)

After Tyler reads a smut scene in one of your books, he helps you realize that you'd much rather have the real thing.

Oh, Baby (18+)

You and Tyler decide you want to have a baby after he sees you playing with your niece.

request: even though you claim not to be, you are very jealous when Tyler interacts with female fans

request: you give Tyler special treatment even though it’s your birthday (18+)

request: you and Tyler can't deny the tension and sleep together at a house party-based on the song shut up and drive by rhianna (18+)

request: Tyler knows exactly how to comfort after you've had a nightmare

request: kitchen floor sex with your boyfriend Tyler (18+)

request: Tyler decides to teach you a lesson after he gets jealous seeing you hang out with Boone (18+)

request: you're the only one who's able to tie down Tylet the womanizer

Finnick Odair

request: a snippet of your life with Finnick

request: you're totally oblivious to Finnick's obvious feelings for you until he comes out and says it

Peeta Mellark

request: make out session with Peeta after he tells you that he loves you

Boone (Twisters)

request: a storm causes you and Boone to share a motel room where you have plenty of time to talk about your feelings for each other

Theodore "Laurie" Laurence

If We Have Each Other

A look into your life with and without Laurie after you lose touch.

Fiyero Tigelaar

What Is This Feeling?

You and Fiyero mistake your attraction to each other for loathing.

I’m Not That Girl

You think Fiyero is only flirting you to be nice because you're not the kind of girl he usually goes for, but he's more than eager to set the record straight when confusion arises

request: you have Glinda help you change your appearance when you think that your current look isn't impressing Fiyero

Joel Miller

I'll Be By Your Side

You stumble across Joel's camp site and after you faint, he and Ellie take care of you until you come to.

request: Joel can’t seem to keep his hands off of you when you get home from work

Igor (Anora)

Fix it For You (18+)

You meet Igor at a bar and he somehow worms his way into your heart by being your personal handyman.

Let it Simmer (18+)

You and Igor work at a diner together and you have no idea that he’s just as head over heels for you as you are for him.

Dean Winchester

It’s Nice to Have a Friend

During a movie night, you and Dean realize that you want to be more than friends.

Spencer Reid

Stay Just a Little Bit Longer

You have to go to work, but Spencer wants you to stay for just a little bit longer.

Simon "Ghost" Riley (COD)

Eyes On Me (18+)

Simon is more than happy to worship you after you tell him how nervous you are to sleep with him for the first time.

Take a Ride (18+)

You visit Simon at the shop where he works and decide to take him for a ride- in collaboration with the always lovely @the-witty-pen-name

Sunshine

Simon just can’t stop talking about his fiancé.

The Magic Touch

You rant about an issue very important to you to Simon

Make it Steamy (18+)

A weekend at a cabin with your best friend, Simon makes the both you decide to take your friendship to the next level

Requests

After months of being away on deployment, you and Simon meet again at a bar where you discuss your relationship which leads to other things (18+)

You and your roommate Simon realize that you’re in love with each other when he comes back from deployment (18+)

Simon loves when you ramble

Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!virgin!reader series

You call a sex hotline looking for some relief and Ghost is more than happy to give it to you.

A Guiding Hand (18+)

Daydreaming

Take Your Time (18+)

Summer Celebration Requests

You and Steve say “I love you” for the first time during a picnic in the park

You tell your best friend Eddie that you love him on the way to a camping trip

Your best friend Eddie takes you to see your favorite band in concert where you both realize that you’re in love with each other

You’re filling in for Gareth on the drums on the Corroded Coffin. Too bad you and the lead singer hate each other. Or do you? (18+)

Steve takes you to see a horror movie despite his hatred for them just so you’ll cuddle him

You and your best friend, Eddie become members of the mile high club while on a flight (18+)

A love confession with Eddie in the rain

rockstar!Eddie and roadie!you are finally together

One thing leads to another and you make out with your enemy, mechanic!Eddie in the rain while you both wait for a tow truck to take your car to the mechanic

Eddie hates the pool, but he accompanies you anyway because he loves you so much

You and Steve are working are camp counselors for the summer, but it’s too bad that you don’t like him

Halloween requests

You and your husband Eddie Diaz take your daughter pumpkin picking

You and your friend Eddie Diaz decide to take your friendship to the next level after months of pining for each other (18+)

Prompts

Buck + 5

Eddie + 33 (18+)

Eddie + 10

Steve + 24 and 37 (18+)

Buck + 14

Steve + 19

[victor-azmund]

Synth you absolutely outdid yourself with this, the composition, the colors, the way the characters are posed jdbrhdhfhfjf I will look at this for the next 3 hours thank you very much

All I want for Christmas is someone who would dissect a corpse for me on command

[redfoxwritesstuff]

A Misdemeanor Of The Heart: Chapter 41 (Human Alastor x Married Reader)

CW: Domestic Violence, financial abuse, mentions of sexual abuse, suggested potential early implantation miscarriage, discussions of fertility Prev__ Welcome Post__ AO3__ KoFi Show your support by leaving a tip, buy Kit a coffee!

You made a simple dinner, roast chicken and vegetables. The smell that wafted through the house was divine, paired with fresh crusty bread. It was a fresh loaf you baked this afternoon. When all was done and the kitchen cleaned, the food still sat in the kitchen untouched as you dusted the living room. 

Hours passed, and the food grew colder until you finally sat at your table, alone, and carved yourself off a slice of breast meat. Roasted carrots and potatoes lost their appeal when stone cold, but you scooped some onto your plate, anyway. The chicken tasted dry, but you needed to eat. There was no reason to waste the meal just because he hadn’t come home when he had said he would have. 

You convinced yourself he would not come home at all when a car screeched to a stop in front of the house. The sound of a door opening and slamming shut echoed down the street. Most of the residents likely already retired for the evening with their books and their fires. 

For the second time that day, you stood watching the front door with wide eyes, only relaxing slightly at the sound of a key working into the lock. It wasn’t like Laurence to drive so quickly, to stop so suddenly or even slam his car doors when he was alone. 

Something was wrong. Fear was becoming your constant companion as it ran circles in your mind, hardly giving you more than a few moments of rest. 

The door opened, revealing disheveled blond hair and his tie hanging limp around his neck. The light cast from the fireplace danced in his wild eyes as he swept into the room. 

He looked larger than life, blocking out the light from the street as he lumbered inside. The door slammed behind him, rattling the pictures on the wall with the force of it. He threw his keys into the dish by the door. They missed, clattering loudly to the floor. 

“You scared me.” There was a tremble in your voice that matched the hammering of your heart against your ribs. “Dinner is cold, but I haven’t put it up yet. I can make you a plate.” 

“You bitch.” Laurence stocked across the room. Pain flared as he grabbed your bicep, yanking you around as he screamed into your face. “Where were you today?!” 

“Laurence, I saw you for lunch.” Pain shot through you as your hip crashed into a chair.

The sound of the back of his hand striking your cheek was almost as painful as the blow itself. It sent you to the ground, only held up by his hand around your arm, shaking you and making you long for the stability of the floor. 

“Where were you after?!” His face was red, nearly as red as a tomato. A vein stood out on his neck, so much so you wondered passively if it would burst. 

“I brought Sarah- Mrs. Montemuro a pie and took tea with her, just as I told you.” Tears ran down your cheeks as he lifted you, only to throw you to the ground. You slid along the wood floor, crashing against the stairs. Sitting up, you cradled your shoulder, aching now as you looked up at him. “I went nowhere else, I swear.” 

Laurence stormed over to your coin purse, dumping the pennies and nickels into his palm and shoving them into his pants. “You don’t need these.” 

“What are you talking about?” You struggled to your feet. “How can I do the shopping without it?” 

Questioning him was never a good idea. It always earned you a blow and yet you never seemed to learn your lesson. This time was no exception. 

The strike of his fist in your stomach had you doubling over, retching as what little of your dinner you had eaten before his arrival threatened to make a reappearance. Pain and nausea rolled through your body as your knees buckled, sending you back to the ground. 

“I will do the shopping with you from now on.” Laurence kicked you. It was a soft blow, all things considered, but it sent you flat on your back just the same. “You will not leave this fucking property,” his voice climbed louder with every word, “Without me at your fucking side until you tell me where you fucking went.” 

He was drunk; you realized as you looked up at him. Pink was on his neck, not flush, but something else. Lipstick. He was with her and came home to beat you. How romantic. 

“I went nowhere,” you sobbed the words, again and again as he calmly walked closer. The heels of your shoes clattered against the wood, a painful stab of noise as you tried to put some distance between you and the man towering over you. He was faster than you, stalking up to you. 

You felt bones shift as he stepped on your forearm, the sole of his shoe digging into your skin. A painful scream tore from your throat as his weight increased until he was stepping over you, leaving you behind as he made his way to the kitchen. 

The world swam in and out of your vision, lost in a sea of black and tears as you clutched your arm to your chest. It hurt, throbbed you but you could still move all five fingers. You were too scared to test your wrist, instead curling up on yourself as you cried. 

You didn’t think it was broken. If it was, you would have heard the bones snap, right? And you didn’t. Unless you wouldn’t have heard it over the sound of your screaming. 

Sarah’s words danced across your mind. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. There were wives, many of them, that were not laying on their living room floor, sobbing in pain as their husband finished their plates of food. 

The Shadow Butcher had done Sarah a favor. He saved her. Could you be so lucky? You doubted it. You had used all the luck you had up by simply meeting Alastor. Closing your eyes, you prayed for just a little more luck. Let the Shadow Butcher find Laurence and judge him not worthy of life. 

Aches settled into your body as you lay on the floor, but you dared not move. As you waited, tears puddling under you, you listened to Laurence burb and the scraping of the chair against the carpet. Dishes clattered as he carried them out of the kitchen, cleaning the table for you. 

It was a rare kindness, and you were thankful for it until you heard the backdoor open and close. Finally, you sat up, still holding your arm to your chest as you found your feet. The muscles of your abdomen screamed in protest as you tried and failed to straighten your posture. 

Limping, you made your way toward the dining room to find the chicken and the dish it was in gone. Slowly working your way to the kitchen, you saw Laurence step back inside with the empty pan. 

“Where… where’s the chicken and potatoes?” You were terrified to ask and feared you already knew the answer. You were a silly woman, though, one who never learned not to ask stupid questions. 

“Threw it out back for the animals.” He wrapped his hand around your jaw, palm covering your mouth and nose crushed against the webbing between his thumb and forefinger, making it hard to breathe around his grip. “You’d had enough to eat.” He shoved you back with such force that if you hadn’t crashed into the wall, you would have fallen to the floor. “I’m going to bed. Clean up the fucking mess.” 

“Yes, Laurence.” 

Laurence took your house key with him when he left for work that morning. He offered no explanation or demand as he pulled it out of your bag. There wasn’t anything he needed to say. 

You already knew you were not to leave the house without locking the door. 

Once he pulled out of the driveway, you braved stepping closer to your bag. There was nothing in your purse, not even a penny left for you when you looked. The supplies in the kitchen were running dreadfully low and yet he left you penniless and unable to leave the house. 

A cramp had you clutching your abdomen. All night, your stomach had been cramping up ever since Laurence’s blow. For a while, you thought it was just lingering pain from the blows, but now, as wetness gathered in your panties, you suspected otherwise.

Laurence had taken your body for his pleasure before going to work, leaving your body aching everywhere as you climbed the stairs. Blood ran down your legs, dripping with each step you took into your bathroom. Now wasn’t the time for your cycle, but it appeared to have arrived, anyway. It wasn’t the first time.

Was this normal? Or was it something else you just took at face value, assuming it was the same for everyone?

You’d always assumed Laurence was somehow bringing it on with his harsh lovemaking. He had taken you this morning as he often did, forcing himself inside you for his own pleasure. This time, like most times, it was a painful intrusion that left you feeling ripped open. 

Alastor had not visited your dreams in the night. There had been no slick to keep the pain at ease for you this morning. It was better that way. You didn’t want the thought of Alastor, his memory to be tainted by what Laurence would do to you. 

Another month, or perhaps just a few weeks since you were off schedule, without a child. Would it be blasphemous for you to thank god for the gift when you were guilty of so much sin? Perhaps it was a curse. Perhaps you were barren. 

Did Alastor want children? You hadn’t discussed that with him. It felt like doing so would only open wounds that would be impossible to heal. All having that conversation with him would do was remind you of everything you could never have. 

It was better not to think about that at all. Don’t spend time wondering what Alastor’s children would look like. Would they have his wider nose? Or would they have yours? It didn’t matter. You would never know. 

It was better to focus on what you could actually have and what you actually needed to do, like cleaning the blood from your legs and putting on your lady’s rag. That was more important to look at what you had to do.

There was no future to look forward to, not with Alastor. All you had with Alastor was fleeting moments that would come fewer and fewer as Laurence’s grip on you tightened until it choked out what little light you had. 

As long as Laurence was alive, there was no future with Alastor. There was no future for you at all. 

The heavy mood clung to you as you moved through your room, changing out of your bloodstained clothes and into something fresher. You had to get the blood out of them before the stain set in. 

You almost didn’t see him when you looked out the window over the back garden while you straightened the bedding. He was standing at the back of your property, just behind the apple tree. How long had he standing there? 

You didn’t want to face him, not now. The face he had peppered with kisses was bruised and swollen now. Your shoulder ached much in the same way it had a lifetime ago when he was little more than a stranger. 

The desire to see him was greater than your shame over your condition, driving you carefully down the stairs. The clouds were heavy and the grass outside sparkled in the dim light with dew. Mist was thick in the air but it wasn’t actually raining, yet. That would surely come. 

At least you had gotten the bedding in before Laurence had gotten home the night prior. 

The shoes by the back door were easy to step into while you wrapped yourself in the housecoat hanging nearby. Laurence had said you couldn’t leave the property, not that you couldn’t leave the house. Still, you knew damn well what he had meant, and that you were about to break a rule without justification. 

It’s not like you could do the washing in this weather. 

You didn’t want Alastor to see you like this. Now, more than ever, you felt shame for your battered appearance. Where soreness had only been the day before, red, purples and pinks had set in. There was no covering Laurence did to you, not all of it, and Alastor would know if you tried. 

You loved him too much to lie to him. 

Tears pricked in your eyes as you slowly walked out of your home. Sarah’s advice to mind the wall if you didn’t want to be seen was disregarded. Right now, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Maybe if you got caught, Laurence would kill you.

It was a matter of time before he killed you, regardless. 

“Ma cherie,” Alastor whispered as you drew closer, wrapping you in his arms as soon as you were within his reach. “What has happened?” 

“He- I,” tears made it hard to speak. They were unexpected. You had thought you cried all the tears you had last night but the safety of Alastor’s arms sparked a new well. Alastor grabbed your chin softly, turning your face this way and that to examine the damage. 

“It’s just surface level bruising here,” He said softly, leaning down and placing a feather soft kiss against your blackened cheekbone. “I’m more worried about why you’re holding your arm? And the redness around your neck.” 

“I don’t think- It’s not broken but he... he stepped on it.” you looked away from Alastor as if you had caused it. 

“And your neck?” Time stretched on while you sat silent in his arms. “What happened?” 

“He- he strangled me. Yesterday morning. I don’t- I don’t remember most of it. I thought perhaps it was a dream at first.” 

“What set him off?” Alastor leaned against the back of the tree, holding you to him. “Or was it random?” 

“He was sure I snuck off. He- he thinks I went somewhere else this weekend. I’m scared, Al. He took my coin and my key. Banned me from leaving the house.” 

Alastor leaned down, kissing your trembling lips softly. “I will just have to come to you, then.” 

“He came home, just after you left.” Fingers fisted into the fabric of his shirt as tears dripped from your chin. “At least two people know I’m seeing someone. Not who, but someone. It’s falling apart. Everything we have-” 

“I will get you out of this. I just need some time to think. I promise you, you’re going to be alright.” He caressed your jaw softly. “I’ll come by every day, I swear it. He will not stop me from seeing you.” 

“What if he sees you?” 

“He won’t,” Alastor promised. “Go inside, rest, and heal. Do the dusting if you must and be careful. Do whatever you have to do to keep yourself safe.” 

“You’re leaving?” You wrapped your arms around him in desperation. “I need to call in some favors. Maybe I can make someone care about his adultery.” 

“Won’t that put us at risk too?” 

“I won’t do anything without telling you first.” Alastor kissed you again, lips slanting softly as he licked at the seam of your lips. 

Unlike with Laurence, you were eager to open up to the taste of him. The kiss was deep, but slow and soft as you breathed eachother in. It broke your heart and mended it all at the same time. 

“Mrs. Montemuro said she was thankful that the Shadow Butcher took her husband.” You whispered as he pulled away, a thin string of saliva connecting you both still for a moment before snapping. 

“Did she? How scandalous.” Alastor chuckled softly, “I wonder what he would think of that.” 

“Would you hate me if I wanted him to take Laurence too?” You whispered, scared to look Alastor in the eye as you confessed. “Would it make me disgusting to you?”

“My love,” Alastor whispered, pulling you to look at him. “I wish the same. Does that make me disgusting to you?” 

“No,” you whispered.

 “And the same is for me.” Alastor kissed your nose, smiling down at you as your face flushed. “I swear, I will get you out of this.” 

You covered bruises with makeup and powders, using your good hat, oh how much you hated it, to cover the worst of the bruising as you stepped out of the car, hand on your husband’s arm as he walked you into the tailor shop. 

Your heart was beating as you stepped inside, the bell jingling loudly overhead. Susan turned, smile twitching into something forced when she saw the man you were with. In the echo chamber of your mind, you begged her to not mention Alastor as you stepped up to the counter together. 

“We’ve got a dress to drop off.” Laurence motioned to you. Stiffly, you held out the dress, forcing your shoulder to work through screaming pain. Your panicked eyes locked on Susan’s and her smile turned softer. 

“Mrs. Latimer, it’s good to see you again. Can I presume this is the esteemed Mr. Latimer?” 

“I am,” Laurence’s chest seemed to puff up with pride at being recognized. 

“Oh, I’m so pleased to meet you,” Susan gushed, holding her hand over her heart, fingers grazing the fabric as she gestured with every word. “Your wife is a darling customer of ours, but quite the klutz she is. Always has new and creative ways she’s torn her dresses but oh! How she sings your praises.” 

Susan kept speaking as she pulled the dress this way and that, taking note that it was once again a rip in the shoulder. 

“She speaks of me then?” Laurence laughs, charmed and charming while you wanted to cry, smile glued to your face as you prayed Alastor wouldn’t come in.

 You could see his jacket hanging behind the counter, waiting for pickup. Usually he would come earlier in the day, though. He should be preparing for his show, but that didn’t stop your heart from dropping as the bell over the shop rang, the door opening. 

“I’ll be right with you,” Susan called out before returning her attention to your husband. “Your wife, she talks so highly of you. Tells me how lucky she is to find a man like you who lets her utilize our services so much instead of mending the rips herself. I’ve never met a woman so taken by her man, I swear.” 

You waited, breath held and too terrified to look behind you as Susan wrote out the ticket. When she went to hand it to you, Laurence was quick to grab it up. He placed it in his billfold and tucked it away in his pocket. 

“We will be back to pick it up,” Laurence stressed the ‘we’ as he thanked Susan for her services again, turning you both from the counter with a harsh grip on your hip. It was a man you had never seen that had entered the shop, you saw before looking over your shoulder to Susan. 

“Thank you,” you mouthed. She only winked at you. 

You were not the first woman she would cover for in her shop, and you wouldn’t be the last. At least having you on Alastor’s arm meant the man wasn’t frequenting the shop so much, causing her headaches for his own sick entertainment. 

Laurence leaned into your side, sneering at the man as you walked by. He was a thin thing, young and hardly more than a boy with a curly head of red hair. “Is it him?” 

“Is what him?” you whispered back, looking between Laurence and the man who didn’t even seem to register your presence as he made his way to the counter. 

“The dick you ran off with?” Laurence hissed in your ear. “Who you spent the weekend with?” 

“I was with my sister,” you insisted as he shoved you toward the steps. If you hadn’t snagged the railing, you would have tumbled down the stairs. Across the street, people looked the other way. You couldn’t fault them for it. 

How many times had you seen a woman in the same position you now found yourself in and looked the other way? Did you notice them on the street and question the makeup and jewelry hiding bruises? You didn’t want to face the fact that you very well could have been blind to the struggles of those around you, but to have seen it and looked the other way? Was that worse? 

Across the street from the tailor shop was an alley that you never paid much mind to. You didn’t even notice it now but deep in the shadows, Alastor’s fists balled in rage. He knew he needed to get to the station, but when he saw you, he had to stop. 

Rage like he hadn’t felt in years boiled through him as his nails cut into his palm. Poisons, that was what he had spent his day in the library looking up. Alastor had to be careful, flipping through meaningless books on different plants under the guise of trying to identify something growing on his land. 

It was a cover story for what he really was looking for, a way to kill Laurence painfully, slowly and without a trace. The last thing he wanted was suspicion or blame to fall back on you. The less reason anyone had to look at you, the better. 

If he could pull it off without you knowing, it would be perfect. 

He was tired of waiting. As of now, Alastor decided, Laurence was living on nothing but borrowed time. 

AN: Did you know that 10-20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage? And when factoring unknown early miscarriages prior to the missed period, it's thought that it could be 30% or higher? We're far more aware of miscarriage now than we were in the past with the increased availability of early detection of pregnancies using home tests that are also becoming more and more sensitive as time goes on. I've had some questions regarding how and why Reader hasn't gotten pregnant yet and I hope this answers those questions- she's suffered from repeated miscarriages.

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[goldfishinaplasticbag]

i kind of want to draw a quick comic on this…. no one here knows me from ORV but if you did, you would be scared right now. i don’t play about my short angst comics……..

on a slightly related note: would anybody be interested in seeing what the “original characters” from 1-800-GOTHAM look like? (i.e., laurence, emma, maybe andrew from chapter 1 that probably no one remembers.)

it’s not going to be “canon” since i was intentionally very vague on describing details because i like it when the reader can imagine their own details, but i DO have thoughts on what they may look like. just an idea! if this flops it flops