#the way Micolash looks at him I can’t I can’t you can’t do this to me

[synthwayve]

DEVOURING THIS ACTUALLY

Micolash and Laurence sneak out to drink, 1820. 6 months after the discovery of the Old Blood

Comic series here

[callooopie]

₊ ⊹ // Dull Abstracts, Duller Hearts \\ Micolash, Host of the Nightmare

“How essential to me, you have become.” - Sackville-West to Woolf

What’s Micolash to do, when his academic rival comes to sit by him to comfort him?

—

a/n: Have never written fanfic, only read it. This is really just a blurb I had to get out of my head is all. And for the most deranged and unhinged Bloodborne character at that 😵‍💫. So this is nothing too crazy, enjoy?

Warnings: allusions to gore(ish), metaphorical masochism(??), rushed ending(☹️), written on phone(format might be ugly and idk how to format in general)

Word Count: unknown

It wasn’t your fault you got that scholar all worked up over nothing. Well- to you it was nothing, to him it was everything. Once again your work, your research, was praised and accolades were given to you by master Willem. And once again, Micolash is left in the academic dust.

You find the man skulking by the lake, glittering in the moonlight. Dirtied boots kick at the dirt as you walk over to him from the entrance of Byrgenwerth.

“Moping again?”

You call out as you walk.

“Hardly- actually I am not moping. Quite the opposite, on the contrary.. yada yada..”

He replies grumpily, throwing another pebble into the lake. A mere drop that ripples across the surface. Either he’s actually being sarcastic and funny, or he is fully trying to convince you he is not moping. Whatever his motives, he only serves to look like a child throwing a tantrum.

“Well. Wrong. I can tell you’re moping.”

You reply back with the tiniest bit of smugness, sitting down beside him on the banks of the lake. Leaning back against your hands, your eyes slowly settle on the lake.

You let the comfortable silence overtake you both like the waters of that moonlit lagoon. Perhaps you have nothing to say, or maybe you’re just waiting for Micolash to crack, to begrudgingly start to complain or vent or do anything to voice his frustration. What you’re doing is condescending, it’s annoying, it’s comforting. And maybe there’s a sick part inside of him that revels in this comfort you give him, even under the guise of academic rivalry.

Micolash scoffs at your words, but doesn’t say anything. He’s not upset at you; he can’t be. You’re not making fun of him, you’re actually doing quite the opposite. You and him could go back and forth like the ebb and flow of tides.

It’s a bothersome notion to him, that just like how ocean waves can’t push and pull without the moon; he can’t imagine his life without you. Now the scholar’s just being dumb and romantic about someone who sees him as a rival, someone to beat out in studies and scholarly research. How vexing he thinks to himself. It’s enough to make him nauseous.

“I’m just looking at the lake.”

Micolash grumbles with annoyance plain in his voice. If only he had a cigarette, and if only he didn’t give his last one to Laurence. Damnable prick.

You say nothing, merely flashing a tiny smile as you continue to stare out onto the lake. Your head falls back as you lean against your hands behind you, lounging with the cool breeze that comes off the waters.

“I actually quite liked your study.”

You admit nonchalantly into the air.

“Perhaps master Willem and the others simply didn’t understand it.”

You suggest coolly as you tilt your head side to side slowly in a meandering motion. A highly unlikely scenario, however the idea is oddly comforting to Micolash. As much as he dislikes said idea. Was it a rule now that academic papers had to be understandable??

“I did though.”

You add on after a beat of silence, finally turning to look at Micolash fully. That look of yours; so curious, understanding, sympathetic- fucking gentle; everything that Micolash believes he shouldn’t be looked at with.

Something in your words strike him. Or actually- your words do strike him. Hard. Like a lightning bolt, like Cupid’s arrow. Like a quicksilver bullet from a pistol, all in a good way of course. Oh, you understood his essay? Obviously you did, you’re smart, terribly and beautifully smart. But you complimented him..through his work- ..which technically still counts as a compliment to him.

Micolash feels as if he could throw up any second.

“.. you did?”

He asks quickly with that turned up half-grin. He’s trying to be normal about it. Trying to hide his emotions that are whirling around inside like storms.

“Of course I did. Although- it was more like ramblings than a thought-out and planned dissertation.”

You say, eyes shifting to look up at the stars that hung overhead.

“However it was ..beautifully written. Much better than Laurence’s dull abstracts and compositions on blood.”

It was.. a backhanded compliment for sure, you were known for those. But Micolash found himself wanting more of it. Gods, you could slap him around all you want. Backhand him with your words or your touch, either way he’d soak it up and give you his very soul in return.

Hell- you could even gouge out his eyes, crack open his chest like they did with cadavers and corpse heads. Bury your hands in him and search for anything and everything. Split him open on the table and peer inside him long enough to know that you infect every bone and cell and crevice.

However you do it, any touch you offer him is a prayer he’ll hold fast.

“Easy to understand hm?”

Is all Micolash hums in reply. Very normal.

“Oh yes... You know, ..-I like to think that we think alike.”

You comment with a beaming smile, moving your focus from the stars and lake to the scholar right next to you. Oh gods, Micolash is fearing this is going in a direction he isn’t sure he’s good at, stepping into territory he’s unfamiliar in.

He never did like the idea of courting, especially other scholars at Byrgenwerth. After all why go through something where he might get hurt? Where he’ll be made a fool of so easily? He’s strange, his reputation is least desirable. Workaholic, annoying voice (according to some- or most), uncanny at times. He can’t woo a man or woman to save his life.

Micolash could visit any lady of the night, pay the price for whatever bleak and quick pleasure he wanted. But to actively pursue you? An angel that’s out of his league some twenty thousand times? Out of the damn question and a fate that’s out of his hands and control.

“..Alike? We?- you and I…- ah- yes. We… do share similarities in our… thoughts.”

Terrible. He stammers like an idiot. Micolash wonders if he could just slip into the lake out of embarrassment. Surely you wouldn’t care right? Oh what does it matter. As he stares at the surface of the lake, watching it wrinkle faintly in the light of the moon. He likes the moonlight, he likes you in the moonlight. Is it possible to be as beautiful as a celestial body? Obviously it is, you exist. Ugh, he could just desperately grasp at you with need and want and yearning. Like the tides reaching up for the moon and heavens, he too would reach up toward you.

Perhaps you’ll never love him, or you’ll never know he loves you. Well.. what’s actually stopping him from outright confessing to you? From attempting some shoddy confession at least? Why can he not just look at you, open his mouth, and go I love.. I love, I love- please oh I love-

“You coming along back inside? It’s getting cold now- certainly don’t want you ill if you’re to best me at our next research proposals.”

You’re standing over him now, a gentle smile donned on your face as you wait for Micolash. Oh fuck, how long exactly was he just staring dead at the water with thoughts of you. Micolash blinks at you before briskly nodding awkwardly and standing up. The ever tall and lanky scholar dusting off his uniform as he looks at you, as normally as he can possibly muster.

He won’t confess and be made the fool. Not this time.

“Lead the way.”

[fromsoft-meowmeow]

Propaganda Below ☟☟☟

Micolash

"he is literally peak pathetic. nothing else to it!"

"he is so. p athetic. his boss fight is just him running away and moaning like he's getting the best head of his life while you beat on him. And you can just cheese him in six billion ways instead of giving him the satisfaction of a fair fight. He wears a dumbass chastity cage on his head and also his name is Micolash so clearly his parents didn't love him. I do though. just kidding i have a save just for murdering him over and over again. Also he's like 50 and ugly so basically Tumblrs dream guy lesssgoooo have I mentioned the moaning yet what the fuck is up with that fr"

"HE HOWLS. THIS OLD MAN RUNS AROUND HOWLING WITH HIS SHOES UNTIED. HE IS TERRIBLE AND SOGGY AND PATHETIC AND JUST LIKE ME FR. I ADORE HIM."

"Just look at him! Pathetic man with a cage on his head who howls! Obviously the best choice! Look at him run around while you chase him though his funky little nightmare! Such pathetic little meow meow material!"

"Because his a precious little bitch."

Greirat

"Lives in a jail cell. Terrible posture. In order to progress his questline you need to witness him curled into a ball muttering inconsolably."

"I love him sm he deserved better <3 (also his name is literally Gray-Rat you can’t get more pathetic meow meow then that-)"

[feartheoldblog]

R O B B I E I DESPERATELY NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOUR SIMS WORLD-- I HAVE TO. I'M OBSESSED NOW. Bls.

🙏

I’M SO GLAD YOU ASKED BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY STORIES TO TELL

• Valtr and Yamamura have a lovely suburban home, a fairly healthy marriage and a pet fish. They had a spare bedroom so I decided to put Brador in. He started pissing everywhere and I ended up locking him in his room for like 90% of the time. I felt a little bit bad so I made Henryk and Simon and let them live in the basement so he had friends that did not randomly fuck on the living room sofa (wicked whims woes sorry). Henryk and Simon decided to start fucking so now Brador is back to square one 👍

• Originally I had 8 BB characters living in a house together. They are all now in separate homes (you can imagine how it went).

• Gilbert the Sick Man is a total cunt. He literally has the good trait as well as other nice traits but he’s got beef with half the town. He’s also why I had to separate the house. He basically pissed off Maria by insulting her, she got angry, Gehrman tried to comfort her, she got angry at him, then Gehrman got sad and Micolash got angry at him and they ended up fist fighting next to the barbecue and are now total enemies.

• Micolash lived alone in a house but I let him adopt a baby and now he is married to the babysitter (and tried to flirt with the new babysitter, their marriage is in shambles- he does not have the romantic trait)

• Gehrman (Micolash’s worst enemy) showed up at his wedding as a caterer and set the kitchen on fire

• Gilbert hated everyone so he lived alone, then decided he liked Vicar Amelia so now they’re living together. However, he fancies Smough but Smough finds him extremely unattractive. Ranni wanted to shag him but refused romance from him……… it’s complicated

• Iosefka has shagged like 60% of the town’s population. I support her in her endeavours 👍

• Radahn and Artorias are married and look after the two accidental babies that have been created. The best dads in the entire place 10/10

• Quelaag got knocked up by a random sim (one of the Rahrtorias kids) so I got werewolf Brador to kill him but I didn’t have the kill mod enabled so he basically just turned Quelaag’s baby daddy into a werewolf (and got his ass beat)

• I can’t remember who the other baby’s mother was but it’s being looked after any way ig

• Gascoigne got sad bc he had the family trait but no family so I made him adopt kids but he neglected them and Alfred had to look after them

• Logarius lives in a house with Godfrey and they both hit the gym together

• The Doll and Chapel Dweller are best friends <333

• I decided to be evil and make Arianna and Adella live together but they’ve ended up being best friends despite their opposing traits????

• Lucatiel and Emerald Herald are girlfriends- they would be married by now but they keep arguing sometimes so their relationship does not improve it is merely maintained

• Smough, Ornstein and Solaire all live together happily in the mansion of that one goth family i evicted

• Me and my partner’s BB OCs are chill as hell, married and do nothing wrong. Literally the only normal people

• Pate and Creighton live together and kinda despise each other but it’s fine

• Juno, Diallos, D, Corhyn and Rogier all live together but I stopped playing Sims because my mental health improved so I never got to see what would happen with them

• I forgot that Djura and Henryk were married with kids but Djura needs to move in with Brador so I’m gonna make them divorce and Henryk can live alone with the children

• Everyone that can give birth has been put on birth control. I learned my lesson 👍

• Also everyone wants Gascoigne carnally. Man cannot catch a break.

[baeddel]

uzumaki spoilers [again, read Uzumaki first]

i think we are licensed to say that Ito was influenced by Lovecraft when making Uzumaki. he has described Lovecraft as an influence himself, and he makes a comedic reference to the Mountains of Madness in one of the self-insert skits. the infohazard theme that was important in Lovecraft is an important theme in Uzumaki. but it’s interesting to see how they differ. Lovecraft was worried about humanity; the limits of human rationality, the development of the human species, and the fragility of human civilization. for Lovecraft only white men have access to rationality, so only white men can understand the horrors that lesser men bring into existence; this is alluded to in Pickman’s Model (“I’ve got a place that I don’t believe three living Nordic men besides myself have ever seen...”), and is implicit in stories like the Mound. Lovecraft’s protagonists are white American academics, scientists and artists who use their superior reason to uncover the horrible truths of the universe which humanity had until now been too primitive to witness. when they do reach beyond the veil they go mad, catatonic, chittering, or else kill themselves. lesser men mistake what they see for gods and make cults to them with obscene practices, or else degenerate into subhumans.

when Ligotti takes up the same things he uses similar characters and similar devices but with new coordinates. his refernces are not racial scientism and theosophy but structural anthropology and German idealism. the horrible wisdom of the world was not out of reach of Ligotti’s humanity but inescapably evident to it; all of our discourses and social institutions are ruses and devices through which we can hide from it. his protagonists uncover the truth because they are curious, knowledge-hungry fools. impulsively following the intellectual riddles that preoccupy them they disturb things that were better left alone. if they leave with their lives then they find their own way to avert their gaze and put the truth away.

in Uzumaki i think the relevant comparison is shūyō, self-cultivation. virtually every strain of East Asian discourse (religious, philosophical, etc.) has some version of this. what it means to cultivate yourself varies according to tradition but you should have the idea from the name. it’s about developing one’s learning, one’s habits and morals, or one’s te, inner power. everything from Buddhist meditation to martial arts to alchemy to keeping a rock garden is built on a theory of self-cultivation. while self-cultivation isn’t uncommon, there is an expectation that a very cultivated person will be strange (especially outside of Confucianism). sages are different from ordinary people; people can’t understand them, they have a different sense of right and wrong from other people, etc.

the first character in Uzumaki who has any idea about the spiral horror is Suichi’s father. he has renounced everything and devoted himself to the spiral; he spends all of his money on spiral merchandise and sits in his room staring at them. he learns, just by looking at the spirals, how to work miracles; he can move his eyes independently, extend his tongue unnaturally and curl it up, and finally extends and twists up his whole body into a spiral. he achieves a sort of twisted immortality in the spiral. you can easily read this as a dark paroday of self-cultivation; he is a middle-aged man who gets taken by fanciful ideas and spends a lot of money on it. it could as easily be green tea or anything else. his contortions are like a sort of evil tai chi.

Suichi is the second character who knows about the spiral horror. he knows, perhaps, more than his father; he knows how terrible it is. he withdraws from the world, sits alone in his home and does not eat. he rejects whoever comes to him except his lover-disciple; he teaches her how to avoid the spiral, though she cannot learn from him. he is one who has “drowned in the midst of dry land.”

Suichi’s father introduces Yasuo, Kirie’s father, to the spiral horror. he calls pottery “the art of the spiral,” a phrase Kirie’s father repeats for the rest of the manga. he turns his pottery into a form of spiral-cultivation. yet unlike Suichi’s father he doesn’t kill himself doing so. he listens when his family express their troubles and he goes on working on it quietly; he functions well even in the finale when everyone else is losing their minds.

when we get to the bottom of Dragonfly Pond we collect the fruit of cultivation. correct me if i’m wrong but i don’t think we see Suichi’s father in the underground structure at all. he remains in Kurôzu-cho, in the mud, the trees and smoke. Yasuo joins the tangle of bodies and is petrified next to his wife. Suichi basks in the light of the spiral without being petrified; he embraces Kirie and they become a spiral together in a happy infinity.

Uzumaki contains something of a self-cultivation manual. it shows us three sages, but also three lovers, and their different routes to immortality and also love. Suichi’s father cultivates himself excessively; he achieves a restless immortality within a few days but he never learns the truth of the spiral. as a lover he neglects his partner, and then calls to her from hell. he drives her insane and then condemns her to share his fate, all the while she begs him to stop. i don’t know about a Japanese parallel but in the Daoist system you would say that he shattered his shen and lost his vitality. Yasuo cultivated himself slowly, doing a little bit every so often by gathering the clay and firing it. he listened to his wife’s concerns and moderated his practices. he and his lover were petrified by the light of the spiral below Dragonfly Pond. as he lived a normal life, he met the same fate as the townsfolk. now Suichi: where common people are mesmerized by the spiral, and the other sages sought to harness it, Suichi rejected it. he withdrew from society into a reticent life of skeptical contemplation. he advised and mentored his lover so he could protect her from the spiral horror. thus he united with his lover and became immortal with her. it was because he rejected the spiral that he found a peaceful immortality in it.

interestingly we already find a lot of what we like about Bloodborne’s use of Lovecraft in Uzumaki. whereas in Bloodborne the Cthulu cult and its horrors are carried out not by primitives but by the Church, the hospital, and the repressive organs of the state, in Uzumaki it’s done by fathers, teachers, doctors and so on. whereas in Bloodborne it takes the form not of shamanistic religion but revealed faith and academic science, in Uzumaki it takes the form of self-cultivation. and in Bloodborne we also find a sort of practical-philosophical manual which stands along with the best tetsugaku, with its own failed sages (Micolash’s delerium, Rom’s ignorance) and ultimate successes (the Hunter in the third ending).

[crimsonlocks]

An in-depth look at your muse.

tagged by: @schattenmagier​ tagging: I am late, so whoever sees this, do this I am feeling Laurence the most, so I am going to fill this out for Laurence. —    basics.

▸     is your muse tall/short/average? Laurence is 5′7′’ or 170 cm. He is on the smaller side for a cis male.

▸     are they okay with their height? He dislikes his height. He thinks he’s too small. Especially because people in Yharnam are usually HUGE and he feels utterly tiny compared to them. He wished he could be taller. 

▸     what’s their hair like? It’s shoulder lenght and from an auburn colour which is more red than brown. He hates being called a redhead though, don’t call him that. His hair is curly and he usually wears it loose, with the tips just falling on his shoulders.

▸     do they spend a lot of time on their hair/grooming? He will wash his hair regularly and brush it after he slept, but that’s it. He also will make sure that it gets cut when it is even slightly too long, the moment he can feel his hair on his back, he wants a cut. Micolash normally cuts Laurence’ hair for him.

▸     does your muse care about their appearance/what others think? He has too, because he is the Vicar of the Healing Church and has a social presence and he can’t come to a party looking like a Hobo. He makes sure that he looks dashing before leaving the house. He even will make sure to look good when he goes out in normal church robes and not in the vicar robes. He actually doesn’t care too much what others think, but he wants their money for the church, so he tries to appear as presentable as possible to them.

—    preferences.

▸   indoors or outdoors? Laurence spends a lot of time indoors, working mostly, but he also likes the outdoors. He will go for a walk often or swim in summer. He also will often be seen next to Ludwig and his horse Midnight.

▸    rain or sunshine? Sunshine. Laurence hates getting wet.

▸    forest or beach? Both. Laurence was next to a lake shore for a large part of his youth and often likes to go to the Yharnam harbour during his walks. But there was also a forest around his boarding school and even in his adult life he will be found taking walks in the forest near the Cathedral Ward, the forest that leads to Hemwick. Though, in his later years he wasn’t too fond of it anymore. He claimed there were shadows in the woods...

▸    precious metals or gems? Meteorites. But if he has to choose, gems. Blood gems in particular. Anything is better when it is made out of blood of an outer god.

▸   flowers or perfumes? Flowers. Especially lumenflowers.

▸   personality or appearance? For a relationship? If it is a one-night-stand, then appearance mostly. For a serious relationship, personality comes into factor.

▸   being alone or being in a crowd? Being in a crowd. Laurence can be a social butterfly and wants to talk to people. Though, if he dislikes the people around him, he wants to be alone.

▸    order or anarchy? His anarchy is the order.

▸    painful truths or white lies? White lies. You can’t control a city when you tell them the truth. Though, he genuinely thought the old blood was totally safe. He was in deep denial about it and shut off every critic for far too long. 

▸   science or magic? Magic is science! Look, there’s the augur in his pocket. Totally not magic. It’s arcane. Science. They proved it. Oh and eldritch gods are real by the way. And healing blood, not magic, science. His church is science! There is a research hall!

▸   peace or conflict? Peace, but will totally go into a conflict if he has to. Happened with Cainhurst. 

▸    night or day? Night. You can’t look at the stars when it’s bright.

▸   dusk or dawn? Dusk. It’s nice to see the sunset and wait for the stars and moon to appear.

▸    warmth or cold? He prefers the warmth. Laurence downright HATES the cold. He will even keep his church coat on when it is very hot.

▸   many acquaintances or a few close friends? Both kinda. It can be very useful to have many acquaintances, but he also cherishes his few close friends.

▸    reading or playing a game? Reading. Laurence reads a LOT of books.

—    questionnaire.

▸     what are some of your muse’s bad habits? Not listening to people even if they are right. Stubborn. Addict for blood, alcohol and sedatives. Is annoying on purpose. Has anxiety but overacts and ignores it instead of dealing with it. God complex. Hates being proved wrong. Terrible with his feelings. Did I already mention that he’s annoying on purpose?

▸     has your muse lost anyone close to them? how has it affected them? Yes, a lot of people actually. First were his parents who died when he was 11 years old from a sickness. Laurence, sickly himself, got taken in by Byrgenwerth and was an orphan. Then, in his adult years, he willingly broke contact with Master Willem and the friends who stayed in Byrgenwerth. Maria commited suicide, Gehrman lost himself in grief and then fucked off to the Hunter’s Dream and Micolash fucked off with the School of Mensis and started a war with the choir. All this stressed Laurence a lot, but he barely allowed himself to grief. He fell into deep depression shortly before the scourge broke out in him.

▸     what are some fond memories your muse has? All the memories of Byrgenwerth. Before the blood, when everything was still peaceful and he didn’t have to care. Sometimes he wishes he had never picked up that accursed blood, but then he can’t believe that he once thought that. The blood is still helping people, right?! It did so much good, it’s the future. It’s not... it’s not the reason that everything goes to shit... it is.. not...

▸     is it easy for your muse to kill? Well, while Laurence can easily tell someone to kill, he actually never did it on his own. Never got his hands dirty... he would struggle a lot to kill, even a beast. It is something else to simply say “Kill” and to do it yourself. Beast Laurence has no qualms about killing whatsoever.

▸     what’s it like when your muse breaks down? When he breaks down, it will be because his denial caught up to him and then it gets dangerous because he still is the head of one of the most influential institutions in Yharnam and his word can change a lot. He can easily forbid people to do certain things and get everything like he wants. Though, if he breaks down, he tends to get stupider and therefore will make mistakes. It’s a good opportunity to overrule him.

▸    is your muse capable of trusting someone with their life? Yes, but it takes time of course. He trusted Gehrman and Ludwig with his life and... no one else. Not even his other close friends, there was too much of a mistrust to trust them to not betray him. If another muse would want his full trust, they would have to work hard for it.

▸     what’s your muse like when they’re in love? Dreamy. Very dreamy. Will yearn a lot. Will try to deny it. He really does that too often, huh? He will probably search out the person of his desires and try to spend time with them, still confused about why he even does that. Will make mistakes that he otherwise never would have made. Can go non-verbal when his crush speaks to him. Will sit in his office and wonder what is happening to him.

[queenofthefullmoon]

An exhaustive list of Bloodborne bosses I would or would not date

Father Gascoigne

We’re starting this list off with a strong yes. You may be like, but Blue, this is a married man with two daughters! To this I reply: I pretend not to hear it. Also, not to be horrible, but his wife is dead while I’m right there baby, with my blunderbuss and my axe, and I’m ready to risk it all. YES, I know he’s a very stinky man, but you gotta make compromises sometimes. What’s that smell? Ah, the sweet dilf, it sings to me.

Cleric Beast

Let me be clear, I’m not a furry, but the Cleric Beast has stated some facts and made some points! The only reason why I’m not to keen on dating it is that it can’t best me in battle, which is something I’m always looking for in a partner.

Blood Starved Beast

Our first no of the list, I’m not very into skin flaps and poison, which the Blood Starved Beast has plenty of. Moreover, I’d have to get Djura’s approval, and that scares me beyond anything else in Yharnam.

Vicar Amelia

Another Cleric Beast, this time with a bit more flair to it. First of all we just have to admire the way she transforms, very sexy and bloody, which is something you’re gonna want in your relationship if you’re someone who likes fun. (Thiccar) Amelia, cradle me like your golden pendant.

Hemwick witches

Another hard no here. No offense, but I like having eyes, and dating a pair of witches covered in eyes that they’ve been harvesting for years doesn’t seem like a good idea to me!

Shadows of Yharnam

Honestly yeah? You get 3 cool partners in black robes for the price of one. They all wield different weapons, which makes for two excellent things. First of all, you get a very efficient bodyguard team (useful at parties, when a hunter gets drunk on blood, or when you open your front door and a beast is there). Secondly, if you want to have a fun sparring match with your partners, which we all know is a fundamental activity in a couple, you have very varied options!

And a bonus for animal lovers: they can spawn snakes at will for you!! Never a boring day with your 3 hooded partners.

Rom, the vacuous spider

NO. Don’t date Rom. She’s baby! She doesn’t understand what’s going on. Instead, here’s a list of nice activities you can do with Rom:

- Read her stories

- Trims her back growths

- Clean her teeth

- Make her some cute little glasses

- Knit matching socks for her and her children

- Teach her new spells

- Not date her

Darkbeast Paarl

Paarl is a similar situation as Rom. He’s just a little puppy… He doesn’t know what dating is. He knows what going on a walk means, though! So go on, go on a happy little walk with Paarl. He’ll love it, you’ll have fun, everyone will be happy.

Amygdala

Yes. Evidence that it’s a good idea is: lots of arms (good hugs), can grab the shit out of me, CAN and WILL crush me, can sometimes shatter my consciousness with its eldritch powers (very sexy), can send me in other dimensions, will annihilate my enemies with a funky laser beam, and the most amazing feature: can pop it’s eyes out of its skull like a stress ball (fun trick to show your friends at parties). The ideal girlfriend.

The One Reborn

NO!!!!! There’s a lot of freaky stuff I’d date in Bloodborne but the One Reborn is NOT one of them. Firstly, it has 6 nannies. Do I look like the type of person who wants their dates consistently moderated by 6 Pthumerian elders? No!!! I’m a free bitch baby!! And in addition to that, Juan Reborn just has too many limbs. It’s not okay. If we ever got engaged I wouldn’t know where to slip the ring.

Micolash, Host of the Nightmare

Would I..? No, I wouldn’t… Unless? Haha, just kidding. Wait… Actually… Um.

I mean… If you’re into bastardous hysterical little men who howl while running around, sure. BUT beware… You might lose him in a mirror and never find him again, which I find very inconvenient. Imagine going shopping with a guy who compulsively disappears in mirrors. Imagine explaining to the store employees why your dumbass boyfriend broke all their mirrors.

Also, how will we kiss?  With the cage on the way?

Oh god, do I have to wear a cage too?

Celestial Emissaries

I’m not against having a multitude of partners but I’m afraid that might be too much for me. Also, they look like little tiny bebes. I know I’ve said before that I wasn’t ready to be a parent, but I might make an exception for the Celestial Emissaries — let them chill in my home, make them pb&j sandwiches, stuff like that.

Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos

Dear Ebrietas… I have a lot of fondness for her but she looks way too much like mac’n’cheese for comfort. She’s invited for sleepovers and all, no doubt about that, but I see our future together as platonic.

Martyr Logarius

Now Listen… Logarius is an Enemy of women. The proof of his crimes still remains in Cainhurst castle. Do I want to date the genocidal Yharnam Santa? Are you really asking me that? Do you take me for Executioner Alfred? I am not crazy. I will not date Martyr Logarius and his red skulls spamming ass (however miss Annalise queen of the Vilebloods, call me).

Mergo’s Wet Nurse

Um yes of course? Tall dark eldritch wife? I feel like Mergo’s Wet Nurse is the Dancer of Bloodborne, where I’m in a situation where I’m presented with the ideal girlfriend and people expect me to say no because she’s an enormous eldritch entity who could kill me in one hit or whatever. Do you think me a coward? Do you believe that I am not willing to risk it all for invisible girls? Think again.

Gehrman, the First Hunter

Ew no! Gross! He’s gonna make a doll designed after me and I will have to call the police!

Moon Presence

On one hand yes (see Mergo’s Wet Nurse) but on the other hand… I feel like the Moon Presence would be too possessive and easily jealous. I just need some freedom, yknow? The liberty to go out and make friends with other Great Ones. And I know she would NOT like that. She’d ask me if I’m the only Great One I’m talking to and I’d have to nervously hide my phone and say Yes Babe Always Babe, lest she would shackle me to an unending dream. I’m not about that life.

Ludwig the Accursed/the Holy Blade

I genuinely don’t know what to say. The screaming horse man? Am I— the horse boy? Him? No. I… I’m not gonna. I love his sword. Lots of class. Very good theme song, could be cool to have him as a friend (maybe I could ride him around to different locations?) but to date? Kiss his horse mouth? KISS HIS EYE MOUTH? You could say that… Neigh.

Laurence, the First Vicar

NOW WE’RE TALKING BABEY… All the class of the Cleric Beast with FIRE included! Picture this: it’s the winter, it’s snowing, and you’re cold… NOT! You are dating a FLAMING BEAST, you are never cold. Laurence has one proper arm to hold you and one arm that’s a constant flaming inferno, which means he’s great for the summer and the winter, depending on which temperature you want to be at. Your enormous flaming boyfriend will always be at your side.

Living Failures

First of all mood, second of all, this is kind of a Celestial Emissaries situation where I’m not against having many partners but I don’t want a whole congregation of them. There’s just too many Living Failures. I also like dating people with faces? And that aren’t, like, blue. So it’s a no from me, but I’ll befriend them. I’ll go garden with them and all. We can have a girls’ night, it’s all good.                      

Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower

I’m gonna have to be predictable and say yes here, but fair warning, Lady Maria isn’t for everyone! I know she looks like the perfect wife, but get this; this lady is a hunter. She’s only a lady because she’s related to royals. She has nothing ladylike in her. You think she takes baths? You think she knows what self-care IS????? I laugh at your ignorance, at how you misunderstand her. Maria is a stinky girl; but she is MY stinky girl.

Orphan of Kos

I don’t want to date the Orphan of Kos because he was literally just born and still has his placenta attached to him.  I don’t care for infants, and I don’t care for violent infants. I wouldn’t even want to invite him over to play with the Celestial Emissaries or something. He’s like that asshole child in kindergarten who hurts the other kids for fun. Am I being harsh to a literal baby and an orphan at that? Maybe. But Kos herself couldn’t tell me I’m wrong.

Bonus chalice boss: Yharnam, Pthumerian Queen

Now listen here… Yharnam is a queen, tall and kinda eldritch, absolutely rabid, which we’ve established is my type. Shall I step on the toes of Oedon and declare her mine? Perhaps. She has a very powerful scream, which worries me in case of a domestic fight, but overall I get to marry a kind of eldritch queen, which is alright in my book. I know she has an equally eldritch baby, but it’s formless, so it doesn’t bother me that much.   Dark Souls 1 ll Dark Souls 2 SOTFS ll Dark Souls 3

[mrslittletall]

Title: Memory Lane Fandom: Bloodborne Characters: Micolash Host of the Nightmare, Laurence the first Vicar Word Count: 4.384 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31841335

Summary: Micolash travels home from Byrgenwerth for summer vacation, but during the trip, he thinks about why he doesn't want to go back...

(Author's note: That actually is part of a trade for @popskipandajump @sketchygabz on tumblr. She wanted a story of Micolash's past of my version, which isn't a happy one...

Warnings for child abuse and child neglect. Also, Laurence is tagged there, but he isn't in this fic much, sorry Laurence!)

“Aren't you travelling home for the vacation, Laurence?”, Micolash asked his friend, a bit confused about why he wasn't entering one of the carriages that carted off students to the various places around Byrgenwerth since summer vacation had started this morning.

“My parents are dead, remember.”, Laurence replied, crossing his arms. “And I don't have any other relatives. Master Willem took me in, so I have to stay at the school. Don't you worry though, Gehrman promised to me that we would explore the woods together and play in the lake on hot days. Don't forget to write though, I will make sure to reply once I have your home address.”

Micolash smiled at Laurence as he entered the carriage. “I won't.”, he promised. Micolash waved to Laurence and sat down in the carriage, waiting for the other passengers to enter so that it could take off. Looking out of the window, he could still see Laurence standing there, waving to him. Micolash waved back, sighing as he thought that he would prefer to stay with Laurence and Gehrman for the summer. In truth, Micolash didn't want to go home.

It was something that Micolash hadn't told his now two close friends. Both Laurence and Gehrman always spoke so fondly about their parents, so he never had brought the subject of his own parents up... and he planned to keep it that way, this was something they didn't need to know.

Micolash stopped looking out of the window when Laurence decided to leave to make room for a few more passengers wanting to enter and looked at them instead. A small family entered last, a typical family, a mother, a father and a small child, maybe five or six years old.

The child happily sat themselves on their mother's lap once the family had settled in and Micolash could see how she carefully stroked over the hair of her child. As the carriage started to move, for they were the last passengers, Micolash asked himself if that was how Laurence' mother had treated him. Laurence always spoke with such great fondness of her...

Micolash's own mother on the other hand...

Micolash barely remembered his mother. He was aware that at some point during his life, a mother had been present. He remembered faint things, feelings, impressions. Like soft hands picking him up and gently rocking him, a voice singing to him, being hugged and comforted when he was upset.

What he couldn't remember was a face to the woman who must have been his mother. There was only one thing he remembered very clearly. The last words she ever spoke to him before vanishing forever.

“I can't take this anymore... Mico... I am so sorry... Please forgive me...”

The next thing that Micolash remembered was the shutting of a door and him having waddled over, confused about what just happened. He must have been only three or four back then, far too young to connect the dots, even younger than the child opposite of him, currently sitting on their mother's lap, not having a worry in the world. He did need a long time to understand what had happened. His mother had abandoned him, had left him alone, to never come back, and, Micolash had to admit this to himself, he didn't feel like forgiving her for it.

His gaze went from the child to the man who must be the father of the small family. He looked gentle and his gaze was full of fondness for his wife and child. It reminded Micolash of Gehrman's father, who, while a strict man who made sure that Gehrman didn't slack on his duties, always was there when his son needed him.

Micolash's own father on the other hand? Micolash couldn't remember a single day in his life where his father hadn't been drunk. Being drunk was pretty much his normal state. He always had some kind of bottle with him and would drink out of it, swaying from side to side, reeking of wine. He often ignored Micolash in his drunken state, though the days in which Micolash remained ignored could be considered the good days.

The days in which his father was hyper aware of Micolash's presence... were the worst ones...

On those days, Micolash couldn't even make a single peep without upsetting his father. Even when he just shifted around or went to fetch something and the gods forbid that Micolash dropped something or forgot to avoid the creaky floorboards on his way outside.

His father would be in front of him with such a speed that it frightened Micolash. When Micolash was lucky, he would simply get screamed at. That he shouldn't make such noise, that he should be lucky that he had a roof over his head and that he was allowed to go to school instead of dying outside in some ditch. Micolash was used to this kind of words. Sure, they stung, but it was nothing that he couldn't endure.

It hurt a lot more when his father decided to put his mother into the mix and told him that she didn't ever bother to take him with her and that meant how much she hated him and that he never had been loved by her, only having been bothered by his very existence and that it was him and his constant screaming and being fuzzy when he still had been a baby that drove her out. Micolash always had to suppress his tears when his father started with it... he even almost started to believe that he was at fault for his mother leaving.

However, simply being screamed at, even though it hurt a lot inside of him, was still better as when his father decided that he had enough of him making so much noise and silenced him with his fist.

The first time it had happened, Micolash had barely registered it. He just stared with wide eyes at his father, raising a hand to notice that his nose bled and then starting to sob uncontrollably, not understanding why it had happened or what he did wrong to get such a reaction, which had made... everything worse...

For when Micolash didn't want to calm down, his father dealt with him by shutting him into the closet. It was dark in there, narrow, far too warm and it smelled horrible, mostly of alcohol and vomit, and Micolash was sure he would have been able to see stains of dried up puke on the clothes if it wouldn't have been so dark.. and if he wouldn't have been so terrified of being locked in there.

Locking Micolash into the closet was his father's usual method when Micolash annoyed him, which was far more often than Micolash liked, and Micolash started to dread the closet so much. He was left in there for hours, sometimes his father even left their home without releasing him and Micolash had to sit in there, waiting, panicking, hoping that he would come back, hoping that he would get out before he would starve, trying his best to avoid making a mess when he was left in their for hours, only to be punished when it happened regardless, making the situation into nothing more but a vicious cycle for Micolash.

“Oh dear, are you feeling alright? You are awfully pale.”

Micolash got snapped out of his thoughts when he felt a hand on his arm and when he looked to his right, aware of how laboured his breathing had become, he spotted the face of an elderly woman, a kind smile, with her greyish hair being put into a bun on heir head, wearing a checkered dress. He didn't reply right away, because the sight in front of him stirred another memory and for a second he felt like had seen a ghost.

“Are you about to get sick maybe? Do you need for the carriage to stop?”

Micolash slowly shook his head, trying to force his face into a smile, which felt extremely difficult. He hoped he looked at least half convincing, though he knew his face wasn't exactly pretty (Laurence even called him a gremlin sometimes and Micolash couldn't deny it), though he hoped that he didn't look anymore like he was about to throw up.

“No, I am fine.”, he finally answered. “Just thought about... something unpleasant.”

“Well then, but don't hesitate to say something should you feel unwell.”, the old woman said and Micolash was aware that the rest of the passengers stared at him as well, he must have looked a lot more uncomfortable than he thought.

“I will. Sorry for worrying you.”, he said and felt how the old woman let go of his arm, but he still felt his gaze on her. Micolash decided to stop looking at the passengers from which a few still were staring at him and out of the window again.

The elderly woman sitting next to him... at first glance, she looked like the striking image of Micolash's neighbour. Micolash and his father lived in a small shack at the border of Hemwick Chapel Lane and this elderly woman had lived there too. Apparently, she was alone, either she never had married or her husband had died and her children and grandchildren were out of the house. It wasn't something Micolash bothered a lot with.

This woman had been a big reason why Micolash had survived after his mother had left.

“Mooom, I am hungry!”, the small child of the family suddenly complained, breaking Micolash briefly out of his thoughts when he saw their mother soothe them and find something for them to eat, which they eagerly took.

Food was something that wasn't a constant in Micolash's life and the reason why his elderly neighbour had been so important for him plus the fact that he could escape his father when he stayed at her place.

Micolash's father didn't have a steady job. No wonder, the drunkard he was. He worked wherever he would be needed and whoever found enough pity in themselves to employ him. Micolash's father probably thought that his son didn't know about this, but Micolash always listened when he walked through the village, he heard the rumours, the facts, he knew how disliked his father was in the village. He also heard the rumours about himself. That a child with such a father couldn't get right, that it was no wonder that his mother had left and that they feared the day when Micolash would grow up into a copy of his father. It didn't surprise him that the other children avoided him, sometimes even thought about bullying him. Micolash didn't bother, they got bored when he ignored them and his father did far more worse things than their words could do to him and their mean spirited pranks didn't hurt as much as being shut in the closet or being beaten until he bled.

But Micolash loathed it when he was compared to his father. He even loathed himself then. He never would become like his father, he swore to himself, though deep down inside of him, he very much feared that it would still happen...

Because of his many odd jobs, Micolash's father generally didn't bring a lot of coins home, and the coins he brought home, he normally used to buy more alcohol. It was rare that his father brought food home and if, then it often was just some old bread or leftovers, probably from a meal he had bought for himself and then brought back home some scraps when he remembered that Micolash existed and people probably would start to ask questions if they boy wouldn't be seen in the village or at school anymore.

During this time, the elderly neighbour took care of Micolash once she realized that he got thinner and thinner from malnourishment. Even though she didn't have much, she gladly shared the bit she had with him, pretty much saving Micolash from starvation. It had been shortly after his mother had left, when Micolash was still far too small to take care of himself. He couldn't remember too much, but he remembered how much more drunk his father had gotten after his mother left, and Micolash went largely ignored during that time... but in the bad way, in the way that he was basically non-existent for his father...

If not for his elderly neighbour having invited him into her shack and giving him food, Micolash probably would have died there sooner or later, for the bit of food that his father sometimes remembered to bring along, barely did anything to quell his hunger...

Micolash liked being at her house. She gave him food, she didn't get mad at him when he was a bit noisier while playing and he didn't have to fear getting punished when he messed up. He only could stay there though when his father was absent, because his father was very much against him staying at some random stranger's house and always would get him and get into a fight with his neighbour when Micolash wouldn't be back on time.

When Micolash was around six years old, his neighbour decided to teach him to prepare his own food. She started with raw food first, showing Micolash how to prepare a sandwich or a fruit bowl or a salad. However, Micolash was clever enough to figure out how the stove worked, so she switched over to teach him how to cook. They were all rather simple recipes, but it meant that Micolash didn't have to rely so much on his neighbour anymore and could prepare food in his own home... and sometimes it even put him into the favour of his father, when he came home and Micolash had prepared some food he enjoyed. Those were good days, where nothing bad happened to him... should Micolash fail the food however... He shuddered at the memory.

However, for a child of six years it was awfully difficult to chop firewood, so Micolash couldn't prepare cooked food too often. He was forbidden from taking any of the firewood his father might have chopped, probably because it was needed for the winter and his father would just chop enough that they would not freeze. Micolash was pretty sure that his father never had used the stove himself, in fact, he needed to clean the whole thing out when he started to use it. Without proper firewood, he couldn't use it very well though, so Micolash was often collecting branches and dry leaves to at least have something to burn and cook a warm meal once in a while.

While he heard of a fancy thing called a gas stove which they had in cities like Yharnam, Micolash was sure that they never would get it, especially because they never would have enough coins to pay for that gas that they needed for such a stove to function. He still was interested in how such a stove would function and secretly wished that one day he could try out a stove that didn't need to be fuelled with wood.

The coins they had, or more, the coins his father gave him once he realized that Micolash would cook for him, were barely enough to even organize the food. His father still put most of his coins into buying more wine and while the coins would be enough for food for one person, Micolash had to cook for himself too. He would have preferred not having to share the little bit of food he had at all, but he knew he had to give his father the bigger serving or he would get punished, and Micolash didn't want to get locked into the closet again...

That is why the elderly neighbour started to show Micolash how to scavenge for food as well as grow his own food. She had a little garden and showed him how to plow the ground, sow the seeds and raise vegetables on his own. There wasn't that much growing in Hemwick, but Micolash managed to grow a few vegetables, like carrots, cabbage and turnips.

Micolash also got shown how to gather wild herbs and mushrooms. He had to learn a lot, because a lot of these wild plants weren't edible, downright poisonous. Micolash documented them all on the blank pages of his school books, not having enough coins to buy a notebook for his own. His teacher once wanted to scold him for scribbling in his books, but didn't say anything when she saw what Micolash had written down.

He also got taught how to fish and how to set traps to catch small animals. Fishing often wasn't successful, for Micolash didn't have a good fishing rod and always had to craft one himself. At least looking for earthworms to use as bait was kind of entertaining, he kind of liked digging in the mud, even though it left him dirty and when he would make the shack dirty... Micolash often had to clean himself in the river before getting home.

Traps were a bit more effective, but it was hard for Micolash when he had his first catch and then had to realize that meat meant having to kill a small little animal. He pretty much refused to do it the first time and only slowly took to it... up until to a point where it became so natural for him that he didn't even think about it anymore. Everything he caught meant that he didn't have to go to bed without a full belly and also that he could get his father into a somewhat good mood.

During this time, his life managed to get almost pleasant... until his elderly neighbour died when he was eight years old.

From one day to the other, Micolash had lost his safe place. Now he had to spend all his time at home or wandering the village, which wasn't possible when it rained or snowed, and because the elderly neighbour had taught Micolash how to do household chores, and Micolash had started to clean around the shack, his father now had extraordinary high expectations of him.

If the shack wasn't clean enough, he would get mad. If a dish wasn't to his liking, he would get mad. If he didn't have any clean laundry, he would get mad. Micolash actually asked himself why he was allowed to go to school when all his free time was spent with household chores anyway. Because of that, Micolash would often stay up beyond bedtime and learn for school, for he vowed to himself that he would never end up like his father and learn something good. Luckily, learning came easily to him, very easily. He didn't need long to understand how something worked and managed to pass all his tests with flying colours.

One day Micolash figured that his father would always have something to criticize, so he stopped giving a damn. He would end up in the closet or with a black eye one way or another, so he decided to use his extra time for learning for school and food scavenging, for he hoped he could save a bit of coins to one day leave this place, when he grew up.

Unfortunately, his father found out that Micolash mostly scavenged for food and stopped giving him coins, leaving Micolash with his very small savings that were nowhere enough to get him anywhere. Micolash used his little stash to buy something that he never had dared to try before, for how expensive it was. It was a sweet, something called a chocolate bar and he had never tried something so exquisite and tasty. When he sat at the river, enjoying it, tears ran down his face when he thought that other children could enjoy this treat every single day.

Micolash's life pretty much continued like this and he almost came to terms with that he would either be forever stuck in Hemwick until his father died or had to run away with no coins whatsoever, when his teacher one day talked to him. His grades were so good, she wanted to recommend him to a school named Byrgenwerth, a school in which children and young adults with his skills could study. The best thing about it... the school was a bit off the road, in the middle of a forest, so that the students would stay there for the duration of the school year.

Micolash's face only fell when he heard about the sum he would have to pay to enter. That was impossible for him, especially because he barely got any coins anymore. He knew Father would never pay the tuition, for all their coins were used up for the wine he drank everyday.

That was when Micolash's teacher told him about a stipend. He would have to pass a certain test and then someone else would cover the tuition for him. Micolash, more than eager to get away from this place, as well as wanting to learn even more, accepted and managed to pass the test.

On the day he left, he didn't even tell his father about it. He wrote a letter and slipped it under the door when he went to sleep, then he quietly packed the few things he possessed and left for the carriage. Back then, he hadn't thought about ever going back. He hadn't taken into account that he would get sent home for vacation.

And now he was sitting in the carriage. The carriage that was getting him home. Where he had to face his father and explain to him where he went. Where he probably would get locked into the closet for three days if he was lucky. Micolash hadn't even noticed how he had started shuddering. He didn't, no, he couldn't get back to this place. He had worked so hard to get out of it, it wasn't fair that he had to go back, to this man that never loved him, to that shack that never had been a home, to a place where the only person helping him was long dead.

“Hemwick Chapel Lane. Everyone who wants to get off, please exit.” Micolash jerked up when he heard the name of his stop and got up in an instant, walking to the exit as if he was in a trance. He could feel the gazes of all the passengers on him, only now realizing how much he was shaking. If he would get out there... then his father would have control over him again, and Micolash didn't know if he had the strength to leave another time.

“What's the matter? Is this your station or not?”, the carriage driver asked as Micolash still didn't move.

“No, it isn't.”, Micolash finally said and sat back down. “I am sorry, I want to leave at Byrgenwerth Forest station.”

The carriage driver just gave him a deep look, for that was the station where Micolash had entered, but then shrugged. Micolash took a deep breath when he noticed all the other passengers staring at him, even the small child that had been the start of his trip down memory lane.

“Are you feeling alright?”, the mother of the family asked. “Aren't you a student of Byrgenwerth? Is there a place where you can... stay?”

Micolash didn't reply right away. He would even sleep in the woods if he had to, but... he would go back to Byrgenwerth and ask if he could stay there for the vacation. Laurence and Gehrman were also there, he wouldn't count much, and he could offer to cook. He just hoped that Master Willem didn't have a reason to send him away...

“I'll figure something out.”, he instead replied and the parents shared a look before getting their attention demanded by their offspring. Next to him, the old woman that reminded him so much of his elderly neighbour gave him a pat and said.

“There's no reason to stay at a place you feel unhappy in. Walking away was the best thing that ever happened to me... and I hope you find your place to stay as well.”

Micolash gave her a smile and then looked out of the window.

“Never again.”, he decided as the carriage started moving and left Hemwick Chapel Lane behind him. Never again would Micolash return to this place, from now on, he would build his own life. One day, he might have friends and even subordinates that would research with him and should he make enemies.. well, he would make sure to show them that they couldn't mess with him.

On the way back, Micolash relaxed gradually. The sun was already starting to set when the carriage was back at Byrgenwerth Forest, but Micolash didn't mind, crossing the forest to the school before it set completely and setting foot in the common room, where a pretty confused Laurence got up from the couch, abandoning the book he had read and came over to him.

“Micolash? Didn't you want to go home for the vacations?”, he asked.

“Laurence...”, Micolash said. “There's something I have to tell you...”

Micolash then confessed the whole deal about his upbringing to Laurence and once he was done, breathing heavily and tears staining his eyes, Laurence never once having left his side, laying a reassuring hand on his shoulder, his friend said: “Let's go speak to Master Willem.”

Micolash was allowed to stay in the school during the vacations from now on, only sometimes having to leave to take a new test for his stipend, which Master Willem organized in Yharnam though, Laurence' hometown, so that Micolash didn't had to get back to Hemwick Chapel Lane anymore.

Micolash never went back to this place, instead, he started his own life, and his own school. And even though he broke ties with his old friends eventually, he never regretted his decision.

For in the Nightmare of Mensis was all the knowledge of the Great Ones and why should he ever want to leave the home he made for himself?

(Author's note: Not gonna lie, this feels a bit clunky to me. I practically rewrote the entire thing also from the first draft and only left like the last few paragraphs. I didn't give any names to the characters outside of Micolash and Laurence, because I didn't want to flesh them out too much.

I hope you enjoyed it and tell me what you thought in the comments.)

[sugarstarlights]

Gardenia, tulip, queen Anne's lace?

gardenia; what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself? I..hm..I promised myself I’d follow my heart more often, in terms of what I think will make me happy. Not just distract me or make the pain stop, but make me /happy/. It’s hard to make choices that might inconvenience people or that I might regret without overthinking them and backing out, but I think I’m getting somewhere. My friends are helping. It’s not like any of them have expressed any negative feelings about what I’m choosing to do, heh. ..I appreciate the support.

tulip; name 5 facts about yourself. Mm. This feels. More difficult than it probably should. ..well, I have wings. That look like a starry sky, kind of. I collect Disney movies and neon signs and jewelry, now, I guess. A lot of my earrings have blue gemstones, I like how they look against all the purple. I would do literally anything for my loved ones, including murder. And I have a personal principle never to shout at or hit anyone who hasn’t physically attacked me first. And even then. It’s iffy. Not sure if I’ve ever properly fought back against an attacker.

queen anne’s lace; who do you trust the most? I don’t see any part of this that implies I can’t have multiple answers, so. Ned, Micolash, and Mikael. Ned’s my best friend, we’ve talked about anything and everything and he gets me in a really specific way. We’ve had bumps in the past but that just ended up with me trusting them more. Micolash I haven’t had time to share a lot with, yet, but he’s so easy to talk to, I’d tell him anything at this point. I feel so safe, and I know he’d never use any of my secrets against me. I’ve already told him my worst one, and he didn’t hate me for it at all.. And Mikael, well. He’s my brother. And he’s been inside my head for months, which is, a lot more complicated, but the point is, we have a relationship neither of us could have with anyone else. We’ve seen everything the other’s been through, we understand how the other works near perfectly, and even though we have our differences I know I can tell him anything and not need to explain it. They’ve all seen me at my very worst, too, and. Never turned around and left, so. What could earn my trust more than that?

[spiteweaver]

Day 8 of the 30 Day Dragon Share Challenge–favorite Shadow dragons!

Mergo: Everything about him, from his appearance, to his personality, to his lore, to his relationship with his mate, is goals. He is just a fun-loving fellow who always knows when you’re lying and loves his big, buff husband. Also, he told death to go fuck itself out of loyalty to Dreamweaver, so as Dreamweaver’s 1# Stan, I’m legally required to love and appreciate him.

Xerxes: Oh God, he has been through so much, I have hurt him so badly, I must be divinely punished for my sins against this man. Like many of my faves, Xerxes came to me as somewhat of an impulse buy when I was first deciding how to introduce Opal into my lore. Now I can’t imagine Feldspar without him, and neither can Isaiah or Crucis, his two idiot fathers who love him very much.

Frith: I don’t talk about him much, so you might call Frith a sleeper fave. There’s something tragic about animancers and the way society views them; they breathe life into the dead and inanimate, but to many, such an act is seen as an affront to the Eleven and Sornieth Itself. He hasn’t had an easy life, despite being so kindhearted.

Micolash: Mico has recently become another sleeper fave due to his involvement in Linnaeus’ lore. Honestly, I’d never intended on him having any sort of romantic past, being the stodgy sort that he is, but when The Seeker came into the picture, I couldn’t resist. Digging deeper and finding that he’s not merely asocial, he’s also intensely lonely really endeared him to me--and the tender way he cares for Linnaeus certainly helped.

Knocken: Technically not a Feldspar dragon, though he will be once Clan Blackthorn has its mass exodus. His character is a bit hard to pin down, but I’d compare him closely to Goblin or The Collector, in that he’s kooky, obsessive, and reclusive. His poison of choice is rare crystals, and he’s quite skilled at finding them. He could make a good living, if he wasn’t so possessive.

Akers: Good ol’ Terry’s a SOMA fandragon, from Sornieth’s version of PATHOS-II. Being one of the complex’s oldest and most experienced residents, most of his colleagues look to him for guidance and leadership--and gods, does he wish they wouldn’t. He’s unsociable on a good day, downright antagonistic on a bad one, to just about everyone but Strasky. (“He’s the only one of you stooges who calls me Mister Akers like he’s damn well supposed to.”)

Nox: Do y’all remember The Shadowling, from the Heart of Darkness arc? You know, that sneaky little Shade hunter who captured Penumbra for the nightmare? Well, this is him, and I love him solely because he’s pretty and a bastard. His lore will probably be pretty cool too, when I figure out what it is.

[missslywild]

Esser’s Excerpts

Nailo had taken the Hunter’s Bane to better hunt the dangerous things surrounding herself and her friends. In the aftermath of this event, however, she was left barely alive. Victoire was the one who decided to stay and keep watch over her friend. This is the conversation that ensues between Victoire and the “gift” from her patron, a book/aberration named Aletheia.

03/17/2019

VICTOIRE: Victoire had closed the curtains. She'd wanted it to be dark in this room as Nailo slept off the effects of... Whatever it was exactly that she'd done. And since Victoire herself had felt what the sunlight did to her Drow eyes.

She sits in the darkness for a while, silent. She alternates between staring at the blocked-out window and casting glances at Nailo's sleeping form. Wondering. Unsure.

Finally, after what felt like a few months but had probably only been fifteen minutes, she shakes her head and sits down at the table with Aletheia.

She props her head up on a hand and looks at the book. "... So? Aletheia... What would you do if you ran into another one of your kind?"

ALETHEIA: The eye opens and stares at Victoire.

"The master needs to clarify.  One of my kind in what way?  Perfect as I am or not?"

VICTOIRE: "I mean, I did see how you reacted to those... Other Aletheia. But let's say as perfect as you. We're already makin' a lot of concessions 'ere, but let's start with that," she adds.

ALETHEIA: "If one such were as perfect as I and came to serve the master as I, then such would be suitable for serving the master.  If it were to attempt to take my place, then such would be killed readily."

VICTOIRE: Victoire rests her head in her arms. "And if they weren't perfect as you?"

ALETHEIA: "It would deserve no more thought than to be killed."

VICTOIRE: "... But what if it wanted to be perfect like you?"

ALETHEIA: "Then it has already failed and deserves death."

VICTOIRE: "You're bein' awfully savage today, Al. Can I call you Al?"

ALETHEIA: "Any name is acceptable from the master."

VICTOIRE: "That's good, Al." She considers the wall for a long moment. "Do you remember what I asked you about last time?"

ALETHEIA: "The master was wondering about the return of the curse."

VICTOIRE: Victoire absently rubs her shoulder, but she shakes her head. "There is that, but I was actually referrin' to somethin' else. Come on, I asked you to think about somethin'."

ALETHEIA: "The master asked me to ponder 'subtlety' and the 'pun'... and 'trust'.  The master made mention of a 'quiz'."

VICTOIRE: Victoire chuckles. "That's right! It's quiz time. First question: What do you call it when a clown holds the door- Mm, when a clown does somethin' nice for you?"

ALETHEIA: "... leaving himself open..."

VICTOIRE: Victoire lays her head gently, slowly down on the table, facedown.... What would you do in that situation, then?"

ALETHEIA: "Remain in my position unless the master orders me otherwise... and memorize his face for later."

VICTOIRE: She tilts her head and narrows her eyes at the book. "Would you attack someone if I asked you too? Nevermind, don't answer that. Say you were in my position. A clown has done somethin' nice for you. What do you call that? What would you do?"

ALETHEIA: "... It would be a demonstration of weakness and an invitation to subdue his mind.  I would turn him into a tool for later or kill him for incompetence."

VICTOIRE: Victoire can't help but laugh, even as she buries her face in a hand. She holds up three fingers. "Wrong answer on all accounts. First, you should let the clown do you the favor. Make 'im think you're in his debt. In fact, you should do the clown somethin' nice in return. That's how you build trust." 

She grins, but there's no humor in it. "Easier to get to their backs if they trust you with them. Second: a trusting companion will do your bidding far more willingly than one forcibly bent to your will." She's grinning but her eyes are starting to brim with tears. "If he is incompetent there are better ways to get rid of him than kill him yourself." She looks at the last finger and folds it down. "Third: it's called 'a nice jester', Al, come on, this is rookie stuff."

ALETHEIA: "I see I have much to learn from the master... but I must disagree.  Once bent to your will, he would never want to betray you again.  He would see you as... perfect."

VICTOIRE: Victoire looks back at Nailo, the small figure on the bed. "... What do you mean by 'bendin' your will', exactly?"

ALETHEIA: "Planting in their mind a seed of your perfection and letting it grow."

VICTOIRE: It takes a moment for Victoire to turn back to Aletheia, but she regards him coolly. "Is that how your kind reproduce, by any chance?"

ALETHEIA: "The master would be incorrect.  We are born from strong thoughts, shaped in dream."

VICTOIRE: "Then what form would this seed take?" she muses. "An idea? A thought? A... Course of action? A desperation?"

ALETHEIA: "A moment of consciousness that brings it in line with your perfect thoughts."

VICTOIRE: "... And they lose their free will. They would conform to mine."

ALETHEIA: "But it would be a perfect will that replaces an imperfect one.  They stand to gain much."

VICTOIRE: "I only want them to live, Aletheia. Incompetent or not." Her voice cracks as she speaks and she hangs her head. "That's all she wants too. That's why she- that's why she- she's already doing what I would do. She's already doing what I did."

ALETHEIA: "But she has not been chosen by Master.  She is and is not the same as before.  Can the master explain how she has evolved without a master?"

"How she has... awakened?"

VICTOIRE: "There are other ways to get power that don't involve Master. C'thalgnordu was my path, he granted me the powers I've needed, but don't think for a second that C'thalgnordu is, in that regard, in any way unique," Victoire snaps. She wipes the tears from her eyes. "I don't know exactly what it is she's done. The spell was unlike any I've ever seen. But..." She hesitates and says, "What do you know of the Blood Hunters?"

ALETHEIA: "This one is unfamiliar with these 'Blood Hunters'.  Is that what she has become?  This one only know that two others have passed by the master that were as such, but she is the first to have become one."

VICTOIRE: Victoire starts. "And what did these two others look like?"

ALETHEIA: "One was a grey dwarf near where the master found me; the other was a dark-skinned man aboard the ship on our way to the forest."

VICTOIRE: "This dwarf... When did you see him?"

ALETHEIA: "He was skulking near the tunnel where your pointy-eared one led you to."

VICTOIRE: "Th-that must've been before she saw 'im again... Al, do me favor, would you?"

ALETHEIA: "Anything the master commands."

VICTOIRE: "If you see that dwarf again, you tell me. I don't care who's around."

ALETHEIA: "It is understood."

VICTOIRE: Victoire nods and leans back, looking back over at Nailo. She grimaces and says, "I hope she doesn't really lose anyone. Like I did." She fiddles with a button on her cuff. "Must we lose people in order to get the things we want? Micolash... Didn't appreciate my tenacity. Katelyn... Theo and Rashid are..." She lapses into silence.

ALETHEIA: "This one does not understand the master's remark.  This one has never lost anyone and has gained power."

VICTOIRE: "Do you see them, Aletheia?" She gestures at the room. "Do you see Theo, leanin' against the wall, laughin' at some witty remark I made? Do you see Katelyn sittin' on the floor, makin' sure we stuck to the schedule? Do you see Rashid at the door, comin' in with the food he'd snuck out from the kitchens? Do you see Micolash? Do you see him porin' over notes with me?" There are tears in her eyes again. "Can you see them, Aletheia? Here? At my side, where they should have been? Before I- Before I-" She leaves off, looking at the closed door, mouth slowly closing.

ALETHEIA: "This one does not."

VICTOIRE: "... Then how can you say I've never lost anyone?"

ALETHEIA: "This one said no such thing.  This one has not owned such prey to lose them."

VICTOIRE: Victoire's hand reaches out to close Aletheia's eye. Her voice barely a whisper, she says, "... This 'bendin' to my will'... Can you teach me how to do that?"

Her eyes flick to the side. "There's someone I've in mind for it."

ALETHEIA: Dark tendrils escape from Aletheia.

"This one would be very pleased to teach the master.  When would the master like to begin?"

VICTOIRE: Victoire leans back, face kept blank. "Now, if possible. But... A question. Do we need a subject to practice?"

ALETHEIA: "Not for the first part of the master's training.  First, the master must learn to form the seed."

VICTOIRE: Victoire hesitantly closes her eyes. "What form does this seed need to take?"

ALETHEIA: "The form of a seed.  The master must practice binding your thoughts and mind down to a single point that can be controlled."

VICTOIRE: After some time spent meditating, Victoire sighs and opens her eyes. "I don't think I can grasp that just yet. A... Yes, a pity." Her eyes flick to the side again. "But still. Thank you, Aletheia."

ALETHEIA: "The master will awaken to it in time.  There is no need to rush.  It is this one's pleasure."

VICTOIRE: She stretches and massages her shoulder, standing up. "Yes, no rush. I have time now," she says darkly. She casts another glance at Nailo, checks that she's still asleep, and picks up Aletheia. "Still so many things to do..." She hefts the book into her arms and walks to the door. "We'll be back soon," she whispers. "... You don't have any hands, do you, Aletheia?"

ALETHEIA: "This one does not."

VICTOIRE: "Such a shame. They're quite handy." She smiles at the book and then looks a bit surprised. "Oh, sorry! Silly me!" She reaches out to the door and opens it. Light spills into the room, but Victoire is quick to place herself between it and Nailo. "Let me get the door for you!"

ALETHEIA: "..."

VICTOIRE: Victoire peers into the hallway and, hopefully seeing no one, sneaks into her room.

She closes the door behind her as quiet as she can and as soon as it's closed she flings Aletheia onto the bed. She stands before it, looking down at the book with cold eyes.

"I appreciate all that you've done for me, Aletheia. Truly and deeply, I do. You've helped me out a lot."

ALETHEIA: "This one has only done what is expected.  Acknowledgment is not required."

VICTOIRE: "It eases my conscience," Victoire says flippantly. She snaps her fingers and the room goes black. "I want you to understand somethin', Aletheia. All those things you said about incompetent subordinates apply just as easily to you."

ALETHEIA: "This one will keep it in mind."

VICTOIRE: Victoire points to Nailo's room, but, unsure if Aletheia can even see it she puts her arm back down. "The other thing I want you to keep in mind is that you do not own people. Do not refer to friends as prey." She almost spits the word. "If for nothin' else, that it betrays your intentions louder than a frying pan in the chicken coop. And that one." Her voice is almost dripping with malice. "We do not touch that one. Never. She has been through enough."

ALETHEIA: "This one accepts the master's command."

VICTOIRE: "But do you understand why?"

ALETHEIA: "This one will learn that reason from the master."

VICTOIRE: Victoire lets the darkness fall until she's left standing in the lit room, looking drained but determined. "Yes, you will. We will continue the lessons until you do." She nods at the book, but leaves it there, on the bed, as she leaves.

Victoire closes the door to her room and locks it behind her, before reentering Nailo's room. So that Nailo doesn't have to wake up and find no one there.

[yharnamopossum]

@catsbreads​​ listen... no matter how hard i tried i couldn't actually like. list rank the bloodborne bosses... i love them all so much...... so instead let me offer u personal ratings in chronological order:

cleric beast: A STELLAR START!! sets the stage for the game!! yharnam's poster child!!! a beautiful baby beastie!!! challenging in all ng cycles while avoiding becoming a grueling nuisance, like woah!!! 10/10, iconic, beautiful, fluffy, screeeeeeee

gascoigne: fave song in the soundtrack, so handsome, heartbreaking story, handsome, phase 3 can be beaten by. walking. which is, eh. but!! handsome, and has a nice voice, and,, handsome,,,,,, 9/10 cus fuck those tombstones

blood-starved beast: BAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! one of my fav fights!!!! a sweetheart, so beautiful!!! can be punched or torched to death, so great for when u want a simple but fun challenge!!! so speedy!! slender and toothy and flopsy and perfect!!!! 11/10, best baby, best fight

paarl: SECOND BAPY sweet electric puppy how i love you so...... a hell of a hassle when underlevelled but otherwise fun as hell. speedy!! 8/10, points deducted cus i get a genuine pain in my heart every time the zappies go away & she does the sad whine :c why does the game make me torture this poor pup :,C

vicar amelia: STOP FUCKING HEALING 9/10, she’s beauty she’s grace she wanna smack yr face

witch of hemwick: like. is this even a fight. 1/10 bc of that one time i somehow managed to kill the second witch before the first one and skipped phase 2 entirely and some rando said gg in the stream chat and made me feel good abt myself

amygdala: SUCH a good alien baby. lov the weird face. p sure we've all wanted to rip our arms off when upset. also, hello?? cutest lil feeties in the world???? oh man..... 7/10 cus looked cooler in the alpha + can be tricked into a visceral loop by running through her legs........ dumbass

shadows of yharnam: no. 0/10 fuck you

rom: MAMA HOW I LOVE YOU SO!!! why are you such a hassle in chalice dungeons!!! why are you in chalice dungeons to begin with!!!!! i feel so bad for mama rom, she's just so cute and kind and minding her own damn business all covered in dandelions....... 8/10 fight itself is annoying + she deserves better v.v

the one reborn: sky baby. the cutest collection of goofy goopy body parts you ever done seen. makes weird noises and flails wildly, as any good sky baby should. 5/10 cus horrendously easy

micolash: shut the FUCK up you chef boyardee spaghetti arm awoo-ass cage-head bastard i am TRYING to pick up the goddamn moon rune and needing to mash through your FUCKING dialogue in order to pick shit UP is the ONLY REAL THREAT IN YOUR FIGHT CUS I KEEP GETTING KILLED BY THE FUCKERS IN THE STAIRWELL REEEEEEEEE 6/10 tie your damn shoes

martyr logarius: speedy grandpa. phase 2 is absolute bullshit. alfred sweetie why do you idolise this guy again?? why the fuck can I fall off the roof but HE can't???? 5/10, crusty but satisfying as hell to beat

celestial emissary: another non-boss. what are you even doing here. you're the emissary huh??? a diplomat???? no wonder nobody in the church could figure out all the weird kin bullshit. 0/10, jimmy neutron-lookin ass

ebrietas: S P A G E D D Y....... so so sweet and pretty, i wanna give her a big soft smooch and a nice warm hug.......... 7/10 cus the fight is literally just button mashing

mergo's wet nurse: god you look SO fucking cool with all the feathers and swords and the facelessness and shit but just. that's the fight?? really??? that's it??? that’s the whole thing???? 6/10 cus design is incredible + music box playing in the bg is neat & eerie as hell

gehrman: can be easily parried to death, everything can be avoided with a backstep or two, spends most of the game crying and yelling "SCRAM!!", like... go home grandpa you're drunk. 4/10 cus good god i have SUCH a grudge left over from fighting him with neil...

moon presence: pretty sure the only time i ever died to her was in neil's file lmao?? once she does that 1hp move like. you've won?? she just. sits there??? u can rally all ur health back from her before she starts moving again??? and by then she's staggered for a visceral??? like???? 8/10 cus gorgeous and spooky and intimidating as hell but way too easy for a fancy secret ending boss :/

ludwig: listen. listen. look. listen. it's fucking ludwig. best design (handsome!), best music (well... second-best but still!), fight requires skill and timing and learning preps and patterns and is everything i love the most!! the game does that thing where mechanically he's a beast in form 1 but a hunter in form 2 and i fucking cry every time!! that monologue!!! beautiful voice, handsome face!! sword!!!! horse!!!!!!!! TEETH!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAA 10000/10 but were u really expecting anything different from me lmao

laurence: the most grueling 2nd & 3rd phases of all time, good fucking grief. i can't get past him in +3. he's the reason i can't progress to higher ng cycles. he is ALWAYS the biggest issue in EVERY run. dumbass bitch in canon. ruined yharnam. whiny bastard. fuck this guy. 10/10 cus i'm thirsty + his music makes me cry & you forgot him in your list >:(

living failures: can be cheesed with a cleaver and some beast blood. v cool lanky six-fingered hands but otherwise?? honestly?? i mean gross incoming but??? they look like a botched circumcision. don't lie. they absolutely fucking do. i fucking said it. they do. 3/10 cus sometimes they break so badly that one'll follow you thru maria's fog gate lmao

lady maria: i mean. we're all gay. so, points. but also, idk i find her fight obnoxious?? timing is jank and that hunter bone nonsense is... ugh. 6/10 cus she is SUCH a fucking hassle & was way more interesting as a chara in the cut content :/

orphan of kos: i LOVE this baby bitch okay. like!! top fave fights, hello!!! timing and precision and prediction and learning prep patterns and safe boxes and spacing and aaaaAAA everything i love in from fights!!! has that weird poison knife glitch where u can make him stand there as ur friend!!! he is bapy!!! let him s c r e a m!!!!!!! 9/10 cus phase 2 can genuinely be beaten by just. walking. also he's gr0ss

oof alright that’s it there’s my takes for u uwu~

[feartheoldblog]

do you have any headcanons for micolash? not much is stated about him, but i like to think that the fucked up animals in the nightmare are indeed his creations/pets from the waking world, essentially grafting animal parts together with the old blood

Hello anon!

I’ll preface this by saying that I’m not as well versed in the more intricate pieces of lore etc. so this will primarily be my own headcanons but I’m more than happy to give a few.

I absolutely believe that the dogs with the crow heads/crows with dog heads aren’t just a creation of the nightmare itself but something that Micolash (or his fellow scholars) actively created in the ‘waking world’. I’ll use that to describe to the time in the past pre-dream/nightmare and prior to the game, in this case when the School of Mensis were prolific and active. It’s very clear that Mensis are more than willing to mutilate and perform unethical experiments, and I feel like they’re more than capable of grafting animals together.

However, I headcanon that it was Micolash’s, pardon the pun, pet project. The crows and dogs are definitely affected by the blood (just look at the bloody size of those birds) so he’d probably be curious about what he could make with them. I can’t really think of any real scientific drive that he would have to do it other than some morbid curiosity or perhaps research into animal physiology and its interaction with the old blood. Maybe he just wanted some friends! Most people get a cat or a goldfish, Micolash gets a half-dog/half-crow abomination of his own making. There’s a few meaty werewolves in Yahar’gul which I don’t think were ‘made’ (more imagery than anything) but I guess you could see them as hinting at animal experimentation too.

Outside of that topic, I do have a few headcanons.

• Micolash did indeed study at Byrgenwerth but he wasn’t as closely associated with Laurence as he would’ve liked to have been. I think that he was always a bit of an eccentric, even amongst the scholars of Byrgenwerth. He was an interesting person with plenty of ideas and asked the right questions, but not the sort that you would trust wholeheartedly. He was involved in the research to a point, and I think that would also have spurred on his intention to leave Byrgenwerth for Mensis. He had enough knowledge from there to continue to research but enough freedom in Mensis to perform whatever he wanted without being shackled down by Byrgenwerth’s rules or research. Definitely a difficult person to work with, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t like to be his lab partner!

• I like to think that he came from a family of ample wealth, enough for him to receive an education fitting of an applicant to the college of Byrgenwerth but not grossly rich. In fact, I feel like he was probably one of the less well off students at the college. I’ll go into detail about this at some point but I do think that Byrgenwerth was like colleges back in the day where only the wealthy were permitted to attend.

• At Mensis, he truly came into his own. He had fellow scholars with ideals identical to his own and individuals to defend them. He also finally had enough resources and reach to organise the grotesque events in Yahar’gul and finally achieve his goals (which he basically did).

• On a more light hearted note, I think that his favourite place in Byrgenwerth was the lake and he often enjoyed leaning on the stone walls, gazing out at the glassy surface to collect his thoughts or finish any work. That’s the only part he misses about his former college- other than that it was just a means to an end, and a hinderance on the latter end of his stay. The library was great too but he had a better one at Mensis any way.

[mensiswives]

snippet from Book 1, Chapter 1: I Met Her in a Dream or Something

🍵OOF I hate to barge in on my sister’s blog after JUST establishing their blog as THEIRS and everyone else’s too as separate entities (cuz I mean, they all deserved that for the longest time) but this’s been pokin at me to finally put some pieces of the Bloodborne narrative up somewhere and I thought it’d be more fitting here

(btw, unlike the Goddess Gang narrative (“the current/finalized narrative”) Lila started out as nonbinary as well in Yharnam instead of full on trans at first so. that’s why some of this sounds a bit off)

This is the end, the hunter thought to themself, laid on their back and dying. To their left and right their ragtag allies looked on forlorn. At their side a strange woman cried on their chest. And above all, the Blood Moon raged on. They caressed her face and tossed her hair, “If this really is a nightmare, then you’re the dream I don’t want to wake up from.” They closed their eyes, feeling it all fade away…

“EVELYN!”

Then pain struck their core, sharp, just like… bleeding? Father? What the-?

“EVELYN! EVELYN CHESHIRE WAKE UP THIS INSTANT!”

Evelyn woke up to being smacked in the stomach by their father. Unable to breathe, they slapped his arms away as well as they could. “WHAT WHAT WHAT?!”

Their father’s slaps subsided but the anger did not. “You’d better get up RIGHT now, or - Giuro sulla forza di ODEON - you will be in a WORLD of pain!”

Evelyn was still rather dazed from the dream (and probably also the suffocation) but when their father finally came into view, they realized he was head to toe in full Church hunter garb, the whole nine yards, they could even see the white sash peeking out from behind his towering figure. Oh, that’s right. “… The Hunt is tonight.” Evelyn yawned, only to receive another smack on the arm.

“THE BLOODY HUNT ISN’T THE ONLY THING, DIMWIT! THE GRADUATION, OR SHOULD I SAY, WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOUR GRADUATION, IS WITHIN THE HOUR AND YOU’RE NOT EVEN OUT OF BED!”

Their father didn’t go for another strike but Evelyn flinched at this as well. Oh yeah… the graduation. The third class had finally completed their training and a party was being held for their commencement before they were to be unleashed into the night on their own… that is, Evelyn’s third class. This was the third time they failed and were declared unprepared for the Hunt and still, their parents dragged them to every commencement party.

Evelyn rubbed their eyes and tousled their dark mop. “Alright, alright I’ll get up-.”

“I don’t even think there’s TIME for you to get up and get ready! I only ask for SO little-!”

Evelyn rolled their eyes, prepared for another verbal berating, when their mother stepped into view. She placed her hand on their father’s arm, pushing his puffed-up shoulders down. “Why don’t you gather your things, dear, and step outside? It’s rather nice out today.” She then guided him towards the door that Evelyn didn’t even notice was pre-slammed open (most likely courtesy of their father). “I’ll prepare him.”

He groaned, walking out the door and muttered, “Can’t be having her take care of you forever, boy…”

She closed the door behind him and shuffled to Evelyn’s bedside, plopping down and reaching to comb her fingers through their hair. “Come on now, dear, it’s time to wake up.”

But Evelyn just shoved her hand aside. “Why does HE get to act like that?! And he calls ME ‘ferino!’ And why do you just let him-?!”

She silenced them with a sleight of hand to the lips. “Shhhh, easy. He isn’t here now. Breathe. Let’s just get ready.” Evelyn breathed in and out through puffed cheeks, allowing her a moment to ruffle their hair. They couldn’t help the smile that pulled at their mouth and stepped out of bed. “Now that’s my boy!” With the same stealth as before she reached for a tiny ornate bottle.

The smile was gone and Evelyn gagged and shoved the bottle away. “Mammaaaa! Please no, you know I hate the perfu-MAMMA!”

She persisted, skillfully keeping oncoming hands from spilling the perfume, “C’mon, Evelyn, you don’t have time to bathe and we have to go!” Evelyn eventually just scrunched up their face and let her douse them with the foul potion. Then she reached for Evelyn’s garb from the coat hanger and handed it to them, her white robes a stark contrast to Evelyn’s own attire. They quickly pulled on the uniform and, to their discontent, their mother patted it down and straightened it out the rest of the way. “And remember, be on your best behavior today. Make me proud.” She kissed them on the cheek and made her way outside. Evelyn grunted, ruffled their uniform to desired messiness, and followed their mother out the door.

---

The walk to the Cathedral wasn’t any different today than previous days; the Yharnamite civilians bowed their heads to them as they passed, an endless sea of “Good morning, blessed doctor!” and “Bless you, high hunter!” Some were even cheering and shouting “Praise the Old Blood!”

Fools, Evelyn thought to themself, it’s “fear the old blood” you IGNORANT FOOLS. Evelyn may have been trained as a hunter (Oedon curse the shackles of the male bloodline - and bloody men in general) but from the moment they could read, they loved sitting by the fireplace with their mother, the comfort of the flames and their mother’s presence illuminating the pages in the study. But when they would tell their peers, they just laughed at them, mocking “Guess you’ll always be sitting in a woman’s lap!” Evelyn just came to accept that no one would ever understand. No one.

But they wouldn’t let that stop them from being the best for their mother; no matter how angry they got or how much their father hit them, their mother deserved everything in their eyes. And, despite Evelyn’s dread of Church-organized events like these, today would be no different than any other day. So they smiled and nodded to each citizen.

The Grand Cathedral stood tall and symbolic of the corruption of this damn town as ever - well, at least in Evelyn’s eyes. The statues carved into figures in prayer and suffering dotted the inside, an odd contrast to the jovial crowd bustling within. Clergy hollered hearty greetings to their friends across the halls. It was a day for celebration, and seeing people enjoy themselves at least lifted the mood a little for Evelyn.

“And there she is, the apple of my eye!” Evelyn heard their father call to their mother. They followed her to his side, but Evelyn refused to look up at him. However, someone in the group of people he was talking to caught Evelyn’s eye; he was dressed in a strange getup that Evelyn had never seen before. In fact, Evelyn couldn’t figure him out for the life of them. He was dressed up a bit, more like the doctors present, though his outfit was more on the dark side, like the hunters. Nevertheless he was messy and ridden with bedhead, which scored him some points in their book. His eyes were even sunken into his face as if he’d been stuck in a library for weeks and his face never left the pages. Evelyn chuckled a little at the thought of a man so eaten up by pages that the pages started eating him back, but in doing so they realized the strange suit was looking right back at them, just as puzzled.

Oh… Evelyn averted their eyes and floundered, somewhat grateful when their father hit them over the head and ushered them into the conversation, “And this is my goofball son, Evelyn! Evelyn, this,” Evelyn looked up and saw he was pointing to - goddammit - the man Evelyn was basically laughing at, “Is Dean Cosmin, head of the School of Mensis.”

Evelyn lit up at that a bit, but the confusion still did not clear; they had read from their mother’s books of the mysterious studies and rituals of the School of Mensis - and even conspiracies of some political hand they had in the Church - but this grungy rando was supposed to be the leader of Mensis? Pfft, the school must be in dire straights right now then, they thought.

Micolash, on the other hand, was interested in Evelyn rather than put off. “This is the young sir who will be making his debut a few years late, yes?” He leaned in and clasped their hand in both of his. “Well then, young man, I do hope you enjoy your last few years of boyhood and make them last.”

Evelyn was about to just play according to the script, but then a sudden rebellious streak struck them. With the widest grin on their face, they squeezed Micolash’s hand and then - loud enough for their father to hear - replied, “I may only have a few years left of boyhood, but when I debut, I refuse to become a man.”

The group was suddenly quiet for a moment - appalled to say the best - but then Evelyn’s father laughed loud and distracting enough that Micolash was able to duck and whisper, “If you really are a friend of Mrs. King, then might I invite you onto the balcony over some wine before the night is over?”

In the heat of the moment, Evelyn was just going to slap him right in the face for getting so close, but then his words settled in their ear and Evelyn nodded in understanding. When Micolash withdrew, their father was done with the distraction and everyone seemed to be going their separate ways. That also included the Dean himself who was already off talking to higher ups like Evelyn’s past teachers (they supposed even a dying institution still needs to save face). And Evelyn didn’t want to talk to their father’s friends anymore than those arsefaces wanted to talk to them, so they just caught up to their mother and followed her around with other mothers of graduates for a bit. Spending the day with the ladies of the event was at least more palpable for Evelyn.

Eventually, as the sun began going down, Evelyn caught Micolash out of the corner of their eye leaving for a balcony, so they quickly excused themself from the conversation and headed to meet the Dean. As they rushed they found themself tangled and tripping over the sash of someone else who was passing by. The fumble caught the attention of surrounding passerby, drawing laughter and pointing fingers, and Evelyn’s cheeks flushed, frustrated, but nevertheless they marched onwards.

Evelyn cleared their throat to catch his attention, but Micolash just sloshed the contents of his glass. “Well, you seem chipper.” He took a sip and finally turned back to the young hunter. “Excited as could be to see a simple man like me.”

Evelyn didn’t know why, but his smile just felt mocking, so they parked themself against the nearest pillar and slouched. “Don’t flatter yourself,” They remarked, before tacking on a double entendre, “And don’t make me regret coming out here-.”

But Micolash caught on. “Today? Yeah, I had a feeling.” Evelyn dropped their arms in surprise. “It’s not everyday you meet a student who’s failed three times and still shows up to graduation.”

“Dammit, pops.” Evelyn murmured. They dropped their head, kicked themself off the stone, and sighed, “It’s not like I came on my own, my parents dragged me here.” They leaned on the guard rail beside the scholar and gazed at the horizon. “But I know there’s a world beyond this city and I just wish I could see it, even if only for a moment…”

Micolash chucked a bit at that, “Some secrets of this world and beyond are best left untouched. You do good to remember that.”

Evelyn growled in disagreement and dug their head into their shoulders. Then they realized something. “Hey, do you want some blood? I could easily get you some of the finest-.”

But Micolash halted them with a raised palm. “No no, I’m fine. I don’t like blood.” Evelyn stared at him like he had just sprouted five eyes on his forehead and Micolash laughed. “I know, it’s not common around Central Yharnam but… us of the School don’t have as much of a… crutch for blood.”

Evelyn clicked their tongue and shook their head, “Suit yourself.”

Micolash laughed softly at them and leaned over the rail himself. “Well, you came to talk to me for a reason, so I’m guessing my assumptions about you were right.” Evelyn didn’t know it, but they smirked proudly at that. But the next question took them off guard. “So, what are your pronouns?”

Evelyn’s eyes lit up at that, sudden butterflies in their stomach. Finally, something that would make getting out of bed today worth it. “Oh, that! My pronouns… I like to be called… uh.” They curled up a bit and scratched their head. “Oh, sorry, I don’t get asked this every day… or ever for that matter.” But Micolash just gave them an encouraging look so finally, they straightened out and took a deep breath, “I go by ‘they-them'… BUT! But I still go by ‘Evelyn,’ if that makes it easy for you.”

To Evelyn’s surprise, Micolash looked pleased with the answer, “Absolutely, that’s perfectly fine with me as long as you’re comfortable with it.”

Evelyn patted their own neck. “Heh, yeah…” They awkwardly trailed off.

But Micolash picked up with ease. “So you’ve really never told anyone else?”

Evelyn just winced at that. “Told…” They knew that they should just lie and say their life was great, but something about Micolash’s wisdom just swayed them otherwise. “Yeah, I’ve told some people but-.”

“It didn’t go so well?”

That… would only describe so little of it. Evelyn just nodded, mouth clamped and looking away. Well, this dampened the mood.

So they jumped a little when Micolash patted them on the shoulder. “Well I think you’ll make a fine adult, Evelyn, no matter what path you choose. Neither boy nor girl.“ Then, pulling away and smiling, “As so have I.”

That was a (slightly surprising, as the dean didn’t correct them on his own preferences, but still) kind sentiment, but - reflecting on more past events in their mind - Evelyn tried to control their voice, “It’s not really my choice…”

But Micolash persisted. “What? Of course it is! You always have a choice. You may get cornered, but you can choose whether to fight or not, and you may go down in the end, but you can choose to go quietly or go out screaming.”

This time when they looked up at him, Evelyn’s smile wasn’t forced. “Heh, kinda sounds nice… to have a choice for once.”

“Listen, people always paint your age as the best time of your life, but the truth is that youth SUCKS! So much change is happening, hell, even your body and brain are growing so fast everyday when you’re young. The growth just never stops and you change with it.” He patted them on the back and softly reassured, “Just give it time.”

Suddenly, a loud uproar came from within the Cathedral. Seeing Micolash’s concern made Evelyn chuckle. “Sounds like they’ve given the fledglings the final blessing.”

But Micolash looked rather downcast by this. “Well then, that means I must be heading off.”

“What? Already?” Evelyn bit back their lip, surprised at how loud they said it. They didn’t want him to go, they just started to get a good rapport.

“I’m sorry, Evelyn, but I really must take my leave. Mensis can’t run itself.” Even Micolash looked bitter about their departure.

So Evelyn stopped feeling sorry for themself, even if only a little, “Thank you for taking time to talk to me. It’s been hell recently…”

Micolash’s smile was as warm as before. “Isn’t life like that for us all?” He made his way to the steps just as a crowd was exiting the Cathedral and just like that, he was swept away.

[crimsonlocks]

           Even more;        

—    BASICS.

▸     IS    YOUR    MUSE    TALL    /    SHORT    /    AVERAGE ?

Ornstein is around 2,60 m or 8′8′‘, so he is a giant. It comes from him gaining soul power and having grown to a much larger size that should humanly be possible. Also, he is kind of a demigod under the protection of the light soul, so him growing big even without soul power was a given.

Laurence is around 1,70 m or 5′57′‘, so he is on the rather short side.

▸      ARE    THEY    OKAY    WITH    THEIR    HEIGHT ?

Ornstein is. He learned to control his soul power enough to not grow expentionally GIANT, which can happen when someone absorbs a powerful soul (it happens to him in Ornstein & Smough fight when Smough falls first). He is, funnily, one of the more shorter of the knights of Gwyn, but he never had trouble with it. He finds his height just right. Laurence HATES how small he is. He grew up around Gehrman and always wanted to be as big as him. But no, both of his parents are small, their boy is small too. He measured himself until he was around twenty years old until Micolash said “Laurence, you won’t grow anymore.”

▸      WHAT’S    THEIR    HAIR    LIKE ?

Ornstein’s hair is from a crimson red, curly as hell and very long, it goes down his waist and only stops at his knees, so he usually pulls it up in a ponytail and that still goes down to his butt. Laurence hair is auburn and falls in soft waves down to his shoulders. It is as soft as it looks like. He usually just lets his hair fall loose and never ties it up.

▸     DO    THEY    SPEND    A    LOT    OF    TIME    ON    THEIR    HAIR     /    GROOMING ?

Ornstein’s hair is untameable and he HATES brushing it, so no. He washes it regularly, but brushing is a thing he doesn’t do. He just accepted that his hair won’t let itself tame, though others don’t think like this and so they go and brush his hair for him. When they can catch him. He only gets a cut when he starts to fall over it. Laurence wants his hair to look good, so he washes it regularly and brushes it so that it falls in just the right soft waves over his shoulders. He also makes sure that it isn’t too long and lets it cut down the moment it grew too long. In Byrgenwerth Micolash usually cut his hair for him.

▸      DOES   YOUR   MUSE   CARE   ABOUT   THEIR   APPEARANCE   /   WHAT    OTHERS    THINK ?

Ornstein usually is in full body armour, so not really. Most people don’t even recognize him when he is out of his armour. He likes it like this and won’t present himself as very desireable, just running around in loose clothes and with unbrushed hair, liking that for once he doesn’t have to be the dragon slayer.

Laurence needs to look presentable. He is the Vicar and people can’t see him at his worst. He has to wear clean clothes, his hair has to look good, his face has to be clean. He has to look perfect. He is the face of the Healing Church and as this, the face of Yharnam (unofficial, but everybody knows it). Laurence is at his most dangerous the better he looks actually.

—    PREFERENCES.

Ornstein

INDOORS    OR    OUTDOORS ? RAIN   OR    SUNSHINE ? FOREST    OR    BEACH ?  PRECIOUS    METALS  OR   GEMS ?   FLOWERS    OR    PERFUMES ? PERSONALITY    OR    APPEARANCE ? BEING    ALONE    OR    BEING    IN    A    CROWD ?  ORDER    OR    ANARCHY ?    PAINFUL    TRUTHS   OR  WHITE    LIES ?   SCIENCE   OR    MAGIC ? PEACE    OR    CONFLICT ?  NIGHT    OR   DAY ?   DUSK   OR    DAWN ? WARMTH   OR    COLD ? MANY   ACQUAINTANCES    OR    A    FEW    CLOSE    FRIENDS ?    READING    OR    PLAYING    A    GAME ? Laurence

INDOORS    OR    OUTDOORS ? RAIN    OR    SUNSHINE ? FOREST    OR   BEACH ?  PRECIOUS    METALS   OR   GEMS ?   FLOWERS    OR    PERFUMES ?  PERSONALITY    OR    APPEARANCE ?BEING    ALONE    OR    BEING    IN    A    CROWD ?  ORDER    OR    ANARCHY ?    PAINFUL    TRUTHS    OR   WHITE    LIES ?   SCIENCE    OR    MAGIC ? PEACE    OR    CONFLICT ?  NIGHT    OR   DAY ?   DUSK    OR    DAWN ? WARMTH    OR    COLD ? MANY   ACQUAINTANCES   OR    A    FEW    CLOSE    FRIENDS ?    READING    OR    PLAYING    A    GAME ?

—    QUESTIONNAIRE.

▸      WHAT    ARE    SOME    OF    YOUR    MUSE’S    BAD    HABITS ?

Ornstein’s most bad habit is how jealous he gets when in a romantic relationship. It is very intrusive in his brain and has to do a lot with his anxiety and abandonment issues, but it still makes him very clingy and very upset whenever he sees someone who may be interested in his SO even talk to them. One of Laurence bad habits is that he jumps to conclusion to easily. He doesn’t let the people explain themselves before he is “Oh, you are one of those people.” and narrows his eyes. That with his general disliking of  “outsiders” is one of his worst habits.

▸      HAS    YOUR    MUSE    LOST    ANYONE    CLOSE    TO    THEM ?      HOW    HAS    IT    AFFECTED    THEM ?

How shall I even being with Ornstein? It started with him practically abandoned as a newborn, often asking himself why his parents didn’t want him. It went farther when his master went traitor and Ornstein had to choose between his love and his loyalty. Ornstein chose his loyalty and had his heart broken, why did his master turn traitor? On him? Then, Gwyn left, then Gwynevere, then Artorias died and the other knights of Gwyn would never come back to the cathedral. And then Smough died. It affected Ornstein in a way that he fell into depression. He looked forward to die in the battle against the Chosen Undead, but it shouldn’t be. Ornstein had suicidial thoughts after this, but managed to channel it into going in a journey to find himself and reconcile with his master. Laurence first great loss were his parents, who both got infected by a deadly disease when they helped a patient and didn’t survive it. He was 12 years old and naturally, in that part of his life it fucked him up. He found a second family over at Byrgenwerth, with Gerhman and Micolash as his closest friends, especially Gehrman was like an older brother for him. So it fucked Laurence over a second time when Gehrman blamed him for Maria’s death and then vanished alltogether. Later in his life Laurence is extremely lonely and lowkey depressive, but he doesn’t admit it to anyone, not even to himself. Instead he uses terrible coping mechanisms like drinking too much, staying up the whole night and sometimes even degrading himself in front of his boyfriend.

▸      WHAT    ARE    SOME    FOND    MEMORIES    YOUR    MUSE    HAS ?  

Ornstein has a lot of fond memories of his friends, his master, Smough, the other knights of Gwyn. He once had a life that he loved and that was being the dragon slayer alongside the other knights and all the fun times they had. And then when they had peace, it was all he wished for. He has many fond memories of Smough because he kept him grounded whenever Ornstein broke down. Laurence has many good memories of his parents, they were good parents, as well as many fond memories of Byrgenwerth, even though nowadays he denies that it ever has been good for him there. But secretly, he wishes to go back, he was happy there. When everything was still easy and people weren’t turning into beasts and before he saw that he gained claws. Wow, that turned depressing, I am sorry.

▸     IS    IT    EASY    FOR    YOUR    MUSE    TO    KILL ?

Yes, because Ornstein is a knight. He doesn’t have a great morally about it, his lord says “kill”, then he kills.

That changed when he was on his own. When he had to think on his own if he should kill somebody. He had a lot of time musing about what killing actually meant and decided to be as respectful as possible whenever he would kill someone or something just so that he could stay alive.

Laurence never has killed someone directly, but he is responsible for the death of thousands. So while he wouldn’t be able to kill someone just because, he doesn’t have problems saying to somebody else “Kill them.” Hes is kind of a hypocrite in this regard.

▸      WHAT’S    IT    LIKE    WHEN    YOUR    MUSE    BREAKS    DOWN ?

It’s bad for Ornstein. He always tries to hide his feelings until they bubble over. Then he breaks down, shivers, cries and murmurs the phrase “keep it together” over and over again until he calmed down. He doesn’t want to see like this by anyone and usually only breaks down when he is alone. Smough and Gwyndolin are the only ones who have seen him break down as well as Artorias and Ciaran, ONCE and never again. Laurence doesn’t admit to himself that he is breaking down, so when he does, it is usually because someone tells him. He is sarcastic and ironic at first until he breaks down and cries about it and usually degrades himself HEAVILY, because he is a horrible person. It is usually Ludwig who has to get him out of it.

▸      IS    YOUR    MUSE    CAPABLE    OF    TRUSTING    SOMEONE    WITH    THEIR    LIFE ?

Ornstein had to. He fought dragons. He needed to trust his knights. He was the one who chose the other knights of Gwyn. He trusts each and everyone of them with his own life and he does the same for them. Once the Healing Church reputation suffered and Laurence felt the need to find a body guard, he settled on Ludwig to be it. So yes, Laurence completely trust Ludwig with his life.

▸      WHAT’S    YOUR    MUSE    LIKE    WHEN    THEY’RE    IN    LOVE ?

Ornstein is very cuddly and wants to spend time with the person but also gets insecure when he hasn’t confessed yet and prefers for the other to confess first. He gets dreamy and distracted and people know that something is up. The silver knights actually tried to find out who his crush is and settled on Artorias, even though it was his Master. Laurence, like usual, just denies it. Romantic feelings? I don’t have time for them. He can sleep around when he has sexual desires, no problem, there are more than enough women and a few men who share their bed with him. Hm, but why are they cute? Why do they make him feel warm? Why is he thinking about them when having sex? Oh! Oh no! He’s in love.

Tagged by: I stole it from @derjaegermond Tagging: Steal it and tag me.

[mrslittletall]

Title: Hunters of the Abyss (Chapter 1) Fandom: Made in Abyss/Bloodborne Characters: Laurenc, Gehrman, Micolash, Rom, Maria, Master Willem Word Count: 4.561 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32531749/chapters/80689318

Summary: On the island Belouska, in the middle of the town Orth, lies a gigantic chasm filled with precious relics and dangerous beasts as well as a mysterious curse, only known as the Abyss.

Many have ventured into the Abyss, but not everybody came back. This is one of the tales about the Abyss, in which a group of delvers takes the challenge to brave the Abyss... and maybe turn from the hunted to the hunters.

(Author's note: This is a crossover, so I wrote up a neat little FAQ which can be found at the end of the chapter. If you have questions, please look there first. I may update it when more questions arise.

Now onto this one: I watched Made in Abyss in 2020 and fell in complete and utter love with the world. Just one year prior I played through Bloodborne and well, these two fandoms had to meet! I planned for this fic for quite some time, but being busy with various writing challenges and the pandemic happening, stuff got postponed and postponed until I finally found the time to sit down and write chapter one.

The characters in this chapter are still children, but they will grow up into adults over the timespan of the fic. There will be quite a few time skips actually. The first few chapters will mainly be world building and exposure.

Last but not least, this is both Made in Abyss and Bloodborne, so be prepared for some soul crushing angst and dark stuff happening. Just... nothing will happen to children. Other than Tsukushi, I prefer to torture adults and older teenagers.

So our protagonists are safe... for now...

If you enjoyed this, please don't hesitate leaving me a comment. Both BB and MiA are tiny fandoms, so I don't expect that this will get much attention, so knowing that someone enjoyed it will be all the much sweeter.)

„Laurence, breathe!“

The boy called Laurence took a deep breath, not even having realized that he had held his breath in the first place.

“Sorry, Gehrman.”, he gasped out. “I am... nervous.”

“Of course, it's your first time.”, Gehrman said, glancing over to the group of Red Whistles which had gathered around their appointed Moon Whistle, which they all called Master Willem. Laurence' gaze followed Gehrman's. The children in front of Master Willem were all orphans from the Balchero Orphanage, like Laurence himself. The only difference was, that all of them already had gone delving at least once, while it was the first time for Laurence. He had only recently turned ten.

“Every Red Whistle gets nervous when they delve for the first time. You don't have to worry too much about going down, though, it's going up that should concern you. Speaking of going, it appears we are moving.”

“Right, the curse.”, Laurence wrinkled his nose at the thought as he started to walk alongside Gehrman. He of course knew all the effects of the curse of every single layer, but he hadn't experienced them personally. Yet. “Dizziness and nausea for the first layer.”

“Correct. And I bet with you that you have to puke on your way up, I haven't seen a single first timer who hasn't.”, Gehrman grinned at him. Laurence just gave him a look.

“I even manage to get sick without any curse affecting me, so that bet doesn't exactly feel fair.”, he said, crossing his arms. “And I certainly won't get into any competitions. You are two years older than me and used to the curse of the first layer already.”

“True.”, Gehrman said. “But before you know it, you will be twelve as well and be allowed to go deeper into the Abyss. Before we both know it, we will be fifteen and be able to turn into Blue Whistles. Time started to move much faster once I was allowed to delve.”

“Or we could die a horrible death down there.”, Laurence said, looking down at his feet. He was wearing the standard delver boots. Every Red Whistle was wearing the standard delving gear, consisting of leather pants, a vest, gloves, said boots and a helmet. Laurence didn't wear the helmet on his head though, but instead it was clasped behind it. He disliked how it flattened his locks of auburn hair. He had tried so hard to preserve his hairdo once he tried on the delver gear, but to no avail.

“Are you thinking about your parents?”, Gehrman asked, making Laurence stop in his tracks, but not for long, as Gehrman pushed him along so that they wouldn't lose sight of the group in front of them.

“...Is it that obvious?”, Laurence looked at the ground next to him, not feeling like he wanted to look into Gehrman's eyes. “I always wished they could come with me to my first delving...”

“I know, we all wished our parents could have come with us.”, Gehrman said, laying a hand on Laurence' shoulder. “We all know how you feel...”

The both of them fell silent after this exchange. Laurence' parents had both been delvers, Black Whistle's even and he always had been eager for the day he was old enough to earn his red whistle and go on his first delve. However, that day never came, because around three months before his tenth birthday, Laurence got the message that they had died on their latest delve.

He had gotten a warm welcome in the Balchero Orphanage where almost every child of delvers landed sooner or later, but the pain of their recent passing was still strong. He really really had wanted for them to be around on his first delve.

Laurence had the feeling that was why Gehrman had decided to come with him even though he was allowed to go deeper already. The older boy had a certain fondness for Laurence and the two of them soon had become friends. He also had befriended a few of the other children, a boy named Micolash, who had a face like a gremlin and deep black hair which were messy curls, a girl named Maria which wore a beautiful white ponytail and a girl named Rom, with tan skin and straight black hair. Laurence always had the feeling that Micolash seemed to like her. Gehrman, as the oldest of their group, held them together and was kind of an older brother to the four children. All of them were heading down on that delve today.

“That's why I am nervous.”, Laurence suddenly said.

“Huh?”, Gehrman put his attention back on Laurence, clearly not having expected for him to speak again so soon.

“Nervous about going down here. I have dreamed my whole life about this day. The image of the Abyss is pretty much my first memory. I always wanted to come down here and see it with my own eyes, but now that it happened, I can't help but be nervous. Of course I knew that delvers died in here, but... that never was something that should happen to someone close to me...”

Gehrman came closer to Laurence and patted his shoulder. “Laurence, once we stop, I have to show you something. I am sure it will put your mind at ease. But for now, how about you stop looking at the ground and look at what is right in front of you?”

Laurence finally released his gaze from his boots and once he saw what was in front of him, he almost lost his breath again.

The Abyss... it was nothing short but beautiful. He saw green grass and lush vegetation, in the distance he could see a river flowing through the netherworld. There were little animals scurrying around between flowers of fortitude, butterflies landing on them, collecting their nectar. Even though Orth was covered in these same flowers, their sight never stopped being beautiful. Laurence wondered if the flower came from the Abyss or if it had taken hold in the Abyss. It was common for them to throw their petals into the Abyss alongside the ashes of the deceased.

“Beautiful.”, he said, not knowing where to look first. He had been so caught up in his own head that he had completely forgotten to enjoy the experience.

“As soon as I saw it for the first time, I knew it was worth coming down here.”, Gehrman smiled at him. Then, the group in front of them stopped.

“Ah, it seems we have arrived.”, Gehrman said and then pushed Laurence' helmet onto his auburn hair. “You are supposed to wear the helmet on your head, not behind it.”

“I don't like the helmet.”, Laurence grumbled, adjusting it so that it would fit better.

“Well, better having some messed up hair than being dead from a stray rock.”, Gehrman shrugged. “You get used to it. Also, there is a glowstone embedded into it, it will help you when it gets dark.”

“Alright.”, Laurence said, stopping as well once he and Gehrman had reached the group. His gaze fell on Master Willem. He looked already very old, but apparently was still fit enough to come with them into the Abyss. When Laurence asked Gehrman about him, Gehrman told him that Master Willem always had looked old. Seeing that a delver with such an advanced age still existed, made Laurence feel a little bit better.

Master Willem looked them over, silently taking stock if every child under his care was still there and then spoke to the group: “Everyone's here? Good. Most of you have already been down here once, so you can continue like the last time. Laurence, it's your first time, so you stay with Gehrman today. I am here if any of you have any questions. Remember, we search for relics. Keep out of the danger zones and don't go out of sight. Don't eat outside of the assigned breaks, come tell me if you need a bathroom break and don't go up on your own.”

A combined “Understood, Master Willem.” sounded from the children's throats and then everyone was off. Laurence kept standing where he was, unsurely looking at Gehrman.

“So... what do we do now?”, he asked.

“First, I will show you what I talked about earlier.”, Gehrman said and took Laurence' hand, guiding him a few steps away until they stood next to the wall of the Abyss. There, Gehrman laid Laurence' hand on the wall.

“Your parents died here, in the great chasm. This means, they have become a part of it now. While their physical bodies aren't there anymore, their souls will be with you each time you go down into the Abyss. Go on, ask them for their blessing.”

Laurence felt the cool stone wall under his hand. That was the Abyss, a part of it... his parents had died in here. Their souls went back into the Abyss. He knew that. It was how Orth functioned, what Orth believed. He heard that other countries believed in something like a god, some figure in the heavens that they never saw and he never got it. Why did they believe in something that they couldn't see?

The Abyss was there, it was tangible, he could touch it. In fact, he touched it right at this moment. At this moment, Laurence felt a connection. It felt like everyone who had entered this place was in unison with him. That also had to include his parents. He wondered if they could hear him, but he would never find out if he wouldn't try.

“Mom... Dad... please watch over me.”, he whispered, opening his eyes, seeing how Gehrman smiled at him.

“And now we can start our delve.”, he said. “Follow me, I will show you how it works.”

Laurence followed Gehrman, always having questions on his mind. He probably should just spill them, no reason to stay silent. “Master Willem told us that we should tell him if we need a bathroom break.”, he started. “Why?” Wouldn't it be fine to just find a corner to duck down into?

“Ah, we are not supposed to leave his sight.”, Gehrman answered. “And he has to know where we are when we are under his care. We are also supposed to take a partner with us, so that the other can keep watch. It's how it works down here, you get used to it.”

“Hm, makes sense...”, Laurence said. “And we are forbidden from eating anything, other than when a break is called? What about drinking?”

“You are allowed to drink just fine, but we shouldn't eat outside of the designated breaks, because it can make us a bit sluggish. We are supposed to all take a little break after eating and it is easier when we all eat at the same time. Besides, sometimes new Red Whistles find food in the Abyss and eat it without thinking... and well, not everything is safe to eat.”

Laurence shuddered a bit at the thought of actually eating something poisonous. Yeah, he should stay away from anything that was unknown to him.

“Do you have any more questions or can we start delving?”, Gehrman asked, standing in front of what looked like a loose stone wall.

“Well, besides from what we are supposed to do, no, I guess.”, Laurence said, fidgeting with his fingers.

“It's easy enough.”, Gehrman smiled, getting a pickaxe out of his rucksack. “We search for loose stone structures like this and break it down.” Gehrman demonstrated his words with a wide swing of the pickaxe and soon it crumbled, revealing a small cave beneath it. “Then we get into it and search for anything that looks like a relic.”

Laurence just stood there when the wall crumbled, now very much knowing why they were supposed to wear the helmet. That would hurt a lot when stray debris would hit him. After a minute or so, he silently followed Gehrman into the little cave, his glowstone providing him with a small light source.

“And that is why the helmets are so useful.”, Gehrman said, turning to Laurence and putting something that looked like a vase or something into his hands. “Look for anything that doesn't look natural or simply unusual. The more relics we find, the better. They give us more allowance the more we can unearth.”

“I am sometimes amazed that we still can find relics...”, Laurence said, getting on his knees and searching through the rubble. “Wasn't the Abyss discovered 1.900 years ago?”

“Yes, but that doesn't mean that Orth existed that long.”, Gehrman said, his trained eyes scanning the bottom of the cave with ease and soon he had a second relic located which went into his rucksack. “Besides, all the good stuff has already been found. All we unearth is trash. Valuable trash though.”

“Hm, I guess...”, Laurence shrugged, getting a bit frustrated with searching the rubble. If anything had been in there, it probably had been smashed to bits.

“Laurence, don't search the entrance, come deeper into the cave.”, Gehrman said. “You rarely find relics at the entrance.”

“Oh alright.”, Laurence was more than glad to get away from the rubble and he wandered to Gehrman's place, searching in the opposite direction of him. When he saw something glistening in the wall, he approached it with a vague hope, but instead a yelp escaped him when he saw that it was a human skeleton!

“Laurence, is everything alright?”, Gehrman came over to him and once he saw the skeleton, he was quick to calm him down. “Oh don't worry about those, this is a praying skeleton, they are apparently 2.000 years old. Isn't that fascinating?”

“But... the Abyss was only discovered 1.900 years ago...?”, Laurence repeated his earlier statement, still a bit shaking.

“That doesn't mean that it hasn't existed for longer, don't you think?”, Gehrman said, his smile in the vague light of the glowstone looking more creepy than reassuring. Laurence shook his head and then got up. “I think I want to get out of this cave...”

“Come on, Laurence, you are getting used to the sight. There are still relics to find in here. How about you come over and help me with searching?”

Laurence looked back at the skeleton, then to the cave exit, which wasn't even far away, the cave actually was more of a little alcove in the wall, and then nodded, walking over to Gehrman. “I just didn't think my first find in here would be human bones...”, he murmured.

“Nobody expects to find them at first. I should have warned you, sorry.”, Gehrman patted Laurence' shoulder and then pointed at the floor. “Now, help me find anything unusual that you can see.”

“Alright.”, Laurence kneeled down, glad that the thick leather of his pants protected his knees and observed the floor. A few minutes later, he had several round and flat things in his hands, that clearly weren't rocks.

“I found something.”, he said. “I think...”, he then added, suddenly feeling a bit self conscious about his find. As Gehrman put his attention on him, he showed it to him. “What could that be?”

“Currency maybe?”, Gehrman suggested, looking at the relics. “There once must have been a civilisation in here, they probably used it to pay for wares and stuff.”

“Hm, makes sense.”, Laurence said, putting the “coins” in his own rucksack. “It doesn't seem to be very valuable though.”

“Like I said, most stuff in here is trash anyway. You will rarely find something good. And if, then don't even think about keeping it.” Gehrman let something fall in his own rucksack. It looked like a statue of some kind. Maybe for rituals or anything?

“What happens if we keep relics?”, Laurence asked, curious. He knew they weren't supposed to keep relics, but he never had asked what the punishment for it would be.

“Then the punishment will be worse than being hanged naked.”, Gehrman said, rather casually, as Laurence' face fell. He still had nightmares sometimes about the time a prank on Master Willem had gone too far and this had been his punishment, it had been the peak of uncomfortableness and humiliation... and they had a punishment that was even worse than that?! He didn't want to find out about it.

“Yes, so make sure to deliver all of your relics. We are taking stock of them anyway.”, Gehrman said as he saw the drained colour from Laurence' face.

“Understood.”, Laurence said and quietly kept searching, filling his rucksack with a bit more odds and ends that looked like someone's dinnerware. Maybe it was. If there were skeletons that were 2.000 years old in the Abyss, then why not their homes as well?

After he and Gehrman had cleared out the cave, which had taken far longer than expected, it was already time for their lunch break, as Master Willem was rallying them up to take a break and eat what they had brought along. The problem was that Micolash wasn't making any advances to come and sit down with them.

“That oddball again.”, Laurence sighed, getting up when Micolash still didn't move even though Master Willem had called his name three times already. “I better drag him over here.”

“Do what you must.”, Gehrman said, knowing that Laurence kind of could connect with Micolash, he always had been the odd one of the group and only when Laurence had arrived at the orphanage had he managed to get out of his shell.

“Micolash, what are you doing?”, Laurence said, stopping next to his friend, feeling a bit dizzy when he noticed that Micolash stood at the edge of a rather steep cliff and was staring down into it.

Micolash raised his head, slowly, almost looking creepy and stared at Laurence. Then, he opened his mouth and said: “If you stare in the Abyss, does the Abyss stare back?”

What? Laurence felt a bit at a loss at what to reply to this question, when Rom spoke and shouted over to them: “If you want to get swallowed up, then stare in the Abyss, otherwise head over finally, so that we can finally eat!”

Laurence heard both Gehrman and Maria giggle at Rom's statement and couldn't help but grin himself at it, while Micolash actually looked... a bit embarrassed. Maybe. It was hard to tell.

“You will understand one day.”, he murmured as he finally got into motion. “All of you will understand one day.”

“What, that staring into the maw of the netherworld is making you speak in riddles?”, Rom was at it again and the children around her started to giggle again, as Micolash glared at her a bit.

While Laurence had a hard time to suppress his own giggling, he said: “She's just teasing you, Micolash, that's all.” Though he had to agree with Rom mostly, the Abyss couldn't stare back if you stared into it. It didn't have any eyes, right? ...Right? Suddenly, Laurence wasn't too sure about it anymore. He should stop thinking about it and finally eat.

Laurence joined the group and sat down on a rock, eagerly unpacking his lunch. This morning had been a special day, not only because it was his first delve, but also because that meant that he could eat rice for the first time in his life. Orth, as a city on an island, had to import rice and therefore it had turned into a delicacy and was a food that only delvers were allowed to eat, at the day they went to delve into the Abyss, because it could be their least meal and they deserved to have something special then.

Gehrman had prepared the rice into rice balls, a simple dish with salt and alga and it had been one of the most awesome things Laurence had ever tasted, even though Gehrman told him that was one of the simplest forms in which rice could be prepared. He actually had to be stopped from overeat himself, so he had taken the leftovers with him and was now happily munching on it, enjoying the taste of the food he did had to admire from afar for so many years.

As Laurence was enjoying his food, he could hear Gehrman talk. As he put his attention on him, he saw Gehrman sitting next to Maria. Apparently he was asking the girl questions and she was answering them. Laurence slid a little bit closer to overhear their conversation.

“And what are these insects called?”, Gehrman asked, pointing at something in the grass, sitting on top of a flower of fortitude. Laurence' eyes sparkled when he saw the butterfly, far bigger than the ones in Orth and with sparkly wings.

“It's a crystal wing.”, Maria answered. “Their wings sparkle like this because of the sun that gets reflected from the forcefield. They try to dazzle predators with them.”

“Correct.”, Gehrman said. Laurence still had his eyes on the crystal wing, what a beautiful creature, when suddenly a lizard-like animal appeared out of nowhere and had the butterfly in its mouth. Nothing short but shocked, Laurence lowered the half eaten rice ball, feeling as if his food got stuck in his throat.

“And this?”, Gehrman asked, both his and Maria's eyes on the lizard.

“A stalking lizard.”, Maria replied. “Always attacks from the shadows, seemingly from nowhere, the prey won't even know what killed it. Insects are its favoured food.”

“The Abyss sure is cruel...”, Laurence mentioned from his spot, still not feeling able to keep eating on.

“It's something you will get used to.”, Gehrman said. “At least we are not part of their diet. Actually the stalking lizards can be quite tasty, if you manage to catch them. Dastardly fast though.”

“One time I thought I had one and only had the tail in my hand.”, Maria said. “And they can even get rid of their legs if they please. They can grow all their limbs back without trouble.”

“Sadly, only the meat that isn't extremities is palatable.”, Gehrman added.

“I see...”, Laurence said. He knew that they sometimes got meat from the Abyss in the orphanage to eat, but nobody actually had ever told him what exactly it was they were eating. He wondered if he had maybe eaten these lizards already.

“Do you want to know more about the creatures of the first layer, Laurence?”, Gehrman asked. “I was just testing if Maria remembered everything I told her. Feel free to join us and listen in.”

“Gladly.”, Laurence said and got up to sit closer to them. As he ate the rest of his rice ball and washed it down with some water, he listened to Gehrman and Maria going over various creatures of the first layer, the different insect species, the well known hammer beaks, a little rodent that was pretty much harmless, but could mess with trying to steal the smaller relics, the trouts that could be caught in the underground river and many more. He knew that a lot of the creatures in the Abyss actually were still unnamed, but he was sure that the first layer probably had a pretty complete encyclopedia of the wild life.

After they all had eaten, Gehrman pointed out that it was the perfect time for taking a bathroom break before they continued with their work, so they did exactly that, with Micolash, Gehrman and Laurence being one group and Maria and Rom the other. Laurence found it made sense that the boys and girls would try to stay apart from each other during it.

Then, they continued what they were doing before lunch break, with Master Willem having a vigilant eye on all of them. Laurence stayed near Gehrman and absorbed everything that his friend could tell him about the Abyss and about delving in general. At the end of the day, both of their rucksacks were filled with various relics that looked like they were just common household objects. While Gehrman kept insisting that it only was trash, Laurence knew that even the trash could be sold for a high price into foreign countries. It was how Orth managed to stay so wealthy.

“You did well today, children.”, Master Willem said as they all presented their finds. “We will rate all of your finds back at the orphanage. The better you managed, the deeper you will be allowed into the Abyss. We were only 50 metres deep today.”

“Understood.”, the children replied in unison. Laurence was pretty excited. After he had seen what was pretty much the beginning of the Abyss, he already was eager to see more. But first... first they had to get back up.

Which meant that he would experience the curse for the first time.

You will puke., Gehrman had said and as much as Laurence wanted to believe that it wouldn't happen, how bad could a little dizziness be...

The moment they had started to go upwards though, he had been hit by the worst dizziness in his life. That wasn't any usual dizziness... his head hurt, his vision seemed to swim, he actually had trouble seeing clearly and that alone was bad enough so that his stomach was revolting from the mixed signals his body gave. Laurence had to clasp a hand in front of his mouth, trying so hard to swallow down the bile that tried to force its way out, but had to give up after only a minute or two and retched on the ground, being on both his hands and knees while it happened, heavily breathing at the unpleasant sensation.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and when he looked up, tears in his eyes from the burning in his throat, he saw Gehrman smiling at him. “You will get used to it.”, he said and offered Laurence a hand which he took. “But for now get used to throwing up once you ascend. At least you are not the only one.”

Gehrman gestured at the other kids and Laurence felt a tiny bit better when he saw that Micolash pretty much experienced the same fate as him.

Still, he would be more than glad once he wouldn't have to throw up anymore after going up, but he had the feeling that would take quite a while.

After they had fully ascended and the awful feeling of the curse slowly vanished, Master Willem led them back to the orphanage where they were supposed to rest and then tally up their finds. Laurence could only think about one thing though.

It had been his first delve and he had returned alive. And still, he couldn't wait to go down into the Abyss a second time.

It truly had a fascinating aura around it, it was as if he was drawn to it.

The second delve couldn't come fast enough. (FAQ:

1) I have never played Bloodborne? Will I still understand this fic?

This fic takes place in the world of Made in Abyss. I simply put some Bloodborne characters into the world of Made in Abyss and act like if they had grown up here. There will be a ton of Bloodborne references though, but you don't have to have played the game to understand the plot I am going for. And the characters... we know very little about them, so they are basically 80 to 90 % OCs, so you can just see them as OCs if you please.

2) I have never watched Made in Abyss? Will I still understand this fic?

I strongly advise to be familiar with Made in Abyss for this fic, for it takes place in the world of Made in Abyss. You don't have to be familiar with the plot though, for I am going for a completely different plot detached from the canon of the anime/manga.

I will do my best to explain the world building though, which is 50 % canon and 50 % my own. Anyone familiar with the canon feel free to point out where my headcanons took place.

3) Will characters from MiA show up?

Any MiA characters will likely only be cameos, for I want to focus on the life of the Bloodborne characters here. Don't expect that anyone of the MiA characters has a very huge role. They will more be mentioned in passing and appear for short whiles, but never play a big role.

4) When does this fic take place? Is it during the canon timeline of MiA?

NOPE. This fic takes place before the canon of the manga/anime. During the first chapter, Riko hasn't even been born yet. This first chapter takes place around 20 to 25 years before canon and even after the characters grew up, there won't be much overlap, if any.

5) Why are you using the Old Hunter characters?

Because they are my favs, haha ^^ I have a lot of headcanons about them and they work best for the story I have in mind.

6) Laurence as POV character? Really?

Yep, because he's my ultra FAV. Truth to be told, I actually made up this AU so that I could roleplay Laurence in an MiA verse, but I liked the idea so much that I wanted to make a whole fic out of it.

7) Why did you decide to write a crossover of these two things?

When I watched Made in Abyss, I saw Bloodborne at every corner. Then I thought up Laurence' MiA verse and then... well, I read an interview from Tsukushi himself and he actually said that Bloodborne was one of his big inspirations for Made in Abyss! Speak about coincidences!) Chapter 2