#OTHERWISE? HANDSOME OR BAPY

[yharnamopossum]

@catsbreads​​ listen... no matter how hard i tried i couldn't actually like. list rank the bloodborne bosses... i love them all so much...... so instead let me offer u personal ratings in chronological order:

cleric beast: A STELLAR START!! sets the stage for the game!! yharnam's poster child!!! a beautiful baby beastie!!! challenging in all ng cycles while avoiding becoming a grueling nuisance, like woah!!! 10/10, iconic, beautiful, fluffy, screeeeeeee

gascoigne: fave song in the soundtrack, so handsome, heartbreaking story, handsome, phase 3 can be beaten by. walking. which is, eh. but!! handsome, and has a nice voice, and,, handsome,,,,,, 9/10 cus fuck those tombstones

blood-starved beast: BAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! one of my fav fights!!!! a sweetheart, so beautiful!!! can be punched or torched to death, so great for when u want a simple but fun challenge!!! so speedy!! slender and toothy and flopsy and perfect!!!! 11/10, best baby, best fight

paarl: SECOND BAPY sweet electric puppy how i love you so...... a hell of a hassle when underlevelled but otherwise fun as hell. speedy!! 8/10, points deducted cus i get a genuine pain in my heart every time the zappies go away & she does the sad whine :c why does the game make me torture this poor pup :,C

vicar amelia: STOP FUCKING HEALING 9/10, she’s beauty she’s grace she wanna smack yr face

witch of hemwick: like. is this even a fight. 1/10 bc of that one time i somehow managed to kill the second witch before the first one and skipped phase 2 entirely and some rando said gg in the stream chat and made me feel good abt myself

amygdala: SUCH a good alien baby. lov the weird face. p sure we've all wanted to rip our arms off when upset. also, hello?? cutest lil feeties in the world???? oh man..... 7/10 cus looked cooler in the alpha + can be tricked into a visceral loop by running through her legs........ dumbass

shadows of yharnam: no. 0/10 fuck you

rom: MAMA HOW I LOVE YOU SO!!! why are you such a hassle in chalice dungeons!!! why are you in chalice dungeons to begin with!!!!! i feel so bad for mama rom, she's just so cute and kind and minding her own damn business all covered in dandelions....... 8/10 fight itself is annoying + she deserves better v.v

the one reborn: sky baby. the cutest collection of goofy goopy body parts you ever done seen. makes weird noises and flails wildly, as any good sky baby should. 5/10 cus horrendously easy

micolash: shut the FUCK up you chef boyardee spaghetti arm awoo-ass cage-head bastard i am TRYING to pick up the goddamn moon rune and needing to mash through your FUCKING dialogue in order to pick shit UP is the ONLY REAL THREAT IN YOUR FIGHT CUS I KEEP GETTING KILLED BY THE FUCKERS IN THE STAIRWELL REEEEEEEEE 6/10 tie your damn shoes

martyr logarius: speedy grandpa. phase 2 is absolute bullshit. alfred sweetie why do you idolise this guy again?? why the fuck can I fall off the roof but HE can't???? 5/10, crusty but satisfying as hell to beat

celestial emissary: another non-boss. what are you even doing here. you're the emissary huh??? a diplomat???? no wonder nobody in the church could figure out all the weird kin bullshit. 0/10, jimmy neutron-lookin ass

ebrietas: S P A G E D D Y....... so so sweet and pretty, i wanna give her a big soft smooch and a nice warm hug.......... 7/10 cus the fight is literally just button mashing

mergo's wet nurse: god you look SO fucking cool with all the feathers and swords and the facelessness and shit but just. that's the fight?? really??? that's it??? that’s the whole thing???? 6/10 cus design is incredible + music box playing in the bg is neat & eerie as hell

gehrman: can be easily parried to death, everything can be avoided with a backstep or two, spends most of the game crying and yelling "SCRAM!!", like... go home grandpa you're drunk. 4/10 cus good god i have SUCH a grudge left over from fighting him with neil...

moon presence: pretty sure the only time i ever died to her was in neil's file lmao?? once she does that 1hp move like. you've won?? she just. sits there??? u can rally all ur health back from her before she starts moving again??? and by then she's staggered for a visceral??? like???? 8/10 cus gorgeous and spooky and intimidating as hell but way too easy for a fancy secret ending boss :/

ludwig: listen. listen. look. listen. it's fucking ludwig. best design (handsome!), best music (well... second-best but still!), fight requires skill and timing and learning preps and patterns and is everything i love the most!! the game does that thing where mechanically he's a beast in form 1 but a hunter in form 2 and i fucking cry every time!! that monologue!!! beautiful voice, handsome face!! sword!!!! horse!!!!!!!! TEETH!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAA 10000/10 but were u really expecting anything different from me lmao

laurence: the most grueling 2nd & 3rd phases of all time, good fucking grief. i can't get past him in +3. he's the reason i can't progress to higher ng cycles. he is ALWAYS the biggest issue in EVERY run. dumbass bitch in canon. ruined yharnam. whiny bastard. fuck this guy. 10/10 cus i'm thirsty + his music makes me cry & you forgot him in your list >:(

living failures: can be cheesed with a cleaver and some beast blood. v cool lanky six-fingered hands but otherwise?? honestly?? i mean gross incoming but??? they look like a botched circumcision. don't lie. they absolutely fucking do. i fucking said it. they do. 3/10 cus sometimes they break so badly that one'll follow you thru maria's fog gate lmao

lady maria: i mean. we're all gay. so, points. but also, idk i find her fight obnoxious?? timing is jank and that hunter bone nonsense is... ugh. 6/10 cus she is SUCH a fucking hassle & was way more interesting as a chara in the cut content :/

orphan of kos: i LOVE this baby bitch okay. like!! top fave fights, hello!!! timing and precision and prediction and learning prep patterns and safe boxes and spacing and aaaaAAA everything i love in from fights!!! has that weird poison knife glitch where u can make him stand there as ur friend!!! he is bapy!!! let him s c r e a m!!!!!!! 9/10 cus phase 2 can genuinely be beaten by just. walking. also he's gr0ss

oof alright that’s it there’s my takes for u uwu~