#laura rants for about 3 hours straight

[whppxdit4chi]

*ahem* Welcome to my TED Talk.

This. All of this. Like HOW is this fandom so blind to the true meaning of his character arc? His story strips away the wishy-washy, rose-tinted perspective written by Kishimoto clearly from the perspective of the sheltered younger generation within the series. The whole point of his story is to put a magnifying glass to the cracks in the shinobi system, and to show Konoha as the imperfect nation it is in a story centred around painting the village in a good light. I truly think that the reason people must hate him so much must be because his story was one that ‘shouldn’t be told’, that people find it hard to grasp the idea that the truth, and the imperfections his arc show, are not so easy to digest and could even be seen as repulsive and cause the reader’s view on the world they love so much to change. People don’t want to see Konoha for what it is, they want this to be a magical world where only villains are evil and protagonists are good, but the reality is rarely so simple.

He is a perfect example of showing that ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’, not only based on his own actions, but also on the actions of the characters around him. By him being exposed to war at the measly age of 4, we are shown the broken system built on trauma that is perpetuated in the leaf village. From his decision to put an end to war, we see hope for change fuelled by suffering, despite him never being able to achieve it in his lifetime. From his loyalty to Konohagakure, we see the will of fire, a will to protect what is important and allow the opportunity for change. From his conflict with his clan, we see how difficult it is to break from generational trauma, paired with the fact that he never could put a stop to war showing that healing from such a painful wound takes generations trying to take steps in the right direction, though that never being enough. So much so that he makes the mistake of putting his brother through the same pain he felt as a child. The downfall of the Uchiha is symbolic. Their dōjutsu is a catalyst for pain, and his taking the steps to wipe out the clan that focuses so heavily on remaining pure and full of pain/hatred signifies a need to heal from the pain, not cause more to achieve peace in the shinobi world. Perhaps that is a little far-fetched, but the symbolism remains. Surely the trauma from activating the Sharingan isn’t healthy, and is bound to continue the cycle of abuse in a world full of unresolved trauma? I think the most important part about it all is that despite everything, despite seeing death as a child, despite getting dragged into the messed up system built by generations before him, he still loved his village and family deeply. He loved the people most important to him despite their imperfections and I think that is a sign of true, unconditional love.

The shinobi world betrayed Itachi, yet Itachi never betrayed his world. Konoha’s elders took a pure soul and moulded it into their desired shape, manipulating him, and he fell for it because he was too young to truly grasp the impact of his actions, too young to know better than to believe that everyone he loved so dearly could possibly be irredeemable. He was too naïve to think that his love could possibly play a part in the downfall of his dreams, that love could be anything but a force of good. I think he learned that in the later years of his life, but by then it was too late to do any damage control. All he could possibly do was place his faith in Naruto and the other members of his generation to put the work in to finish the work he started, knowing he made plenty of mistakes in his pursuit of peace, knowing the only thing left of his life at this point was to await justice he knew was long overdue. In his own imperfect way, he tried his best to fix as much as he could. He tried and tried to figure out a better way to achieve his goals but ended up merely doing so imperfectly. He even said himself:

In the end, all he could do was learn to achieve his goals in the best way he was taught, which was a method filled with violence, the only way he could ever know how… to accept a lesser of two evils to be more beneficial to the majority. He knew he wasn’t perfect…

He spent the majority of his life isolated. From his clan; from his village; eventually so much so that he was isolated from anyone and everyone. I have no doubt he knew he was far from perfect even before his Edo Tensei form, he had too much time to reflect not to believe that. Yet he desperately tried to unite people, to make them see that his ideal was possible and help them to strive towards it, because he knew that would be the only way to achieve his dream.

- - -

Anyway I am far from finished but my brain is melting and I need sleep. Y’all Itachi haters need to stop sleeping on this man and stop accusing his fans of justifying his actions based on his looks BECAUSE I SWEAR, I WILL WRITE A DISSERTATION IF NEED BE. CRITICAL THOUGHTS ONLY. LITERARY ANALYSIS

Hshdhdj I do not like Itachi “jUsT bECaUsE hE’S hOt” that’s literally like the last reason, and reason 1-99 are all regarding the complexity of his character and showing compassion and love to one of the ONLY. FREAKING. CHARACTERS. that desperately fucking needed love in his life yet was starved of it 😤 EVEN NARUTO GOT LOVE. EVEN GAARA GOT LOVE. BUT WHO LOVED ITACHI? I ask again… WHO LOVED ITACHI?!?! Fucking NO-ONE, he spent his whole life being HATED because everyone was too busy perpetuating systemic issues and living in the wishy-washy fantasy denial universe until Naruto finally unified the people and got the chance to be loud enough to scream what Itachi was trying to say all along.

I am getting heated now. Anyway thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

That being said, I can’t words, genuine debate is welcome, would love to clarify or expand but I’ve already spent all evening writing this soooo

I just don't get this. People see other characters doing horrible shit and it's their trauma, pain, loneliness, Shinobi system, and some other shit responsible for their behavior and actions, but somehow Itachi should be completely exempted from this leniency. Because there's absolutely no way he was at the war at the of age of 4, saw bloodshed that would traumatize even the surviving adults, lost his faith in humanity because how little value war gave to the human life, and how FREQUENT wars and conflict were in their world.

Let's also pretend he didn't think it must be stopped because dying meaninglessly for a system was a horrible thing to do. Let's also pretend he wasn't placed in the situations where no child, not even if you're a budding Shinobi, must be placed. Spying on the government? Spying on the clan? Life and death? Making him question the way the world worked while giving him no other option? Good job, adults. All this came from the people who had thrice the experience of his age.

Let's also forget the last part of his characterization - his guilt and regret overpowering all his other emotions, except for his love. Ignoring and denying the last part is something that goes on in this fandom in abundance.

What makes him an incredible character and an honorable man is acceptance. You can ignore that all you want, but he's a brilliant character without whom the Naruto won't be as poignant and profound as it is.

[chocoholicannanymous]

...As Stupid Does (Teen Wolf) 18/19

AN: As you might have noticed I've updated the chapter count, making this the penultimate post. It is, however, what I consider the last chapter of ...ASD. If you'd like you could read this and have the story (and the series) end now. The last chapter is going to be what I intended for a fifth and final part of the series, but I've decided instead to post it together with this story, I guess as an epilogue of sorts.

(Oh and yes, I'm aware that this chapter is shorter than many of you would prefer. It should, tbh, have been part of last chapter, but that didn't happen. I'm choosing to focus on writing the last bit of this 'verse instead of trying to pad this chapter.)

Part 17, Part 16, Part 15, Part 14, Part 13,  Part 12,  Part 11,  Part 10,  Interlude,  Part 9, Part 8d, Part 8c, Part 8b, Part 8a, Part 7, Part 6, Part 5,Part 4,Part 3, Part 2, Part 1,Not Stupid, Stupid Is… and pre-verse ficlet I’m Stupid (Don’t Worry ‘Bout Me)…

As Stupid Does

part 3 of the Stupid ‘verse

18

Stiles knows that so many of the problems between him and Derek (or really, him and everyone) were caused by him not thinking things through. For someone so obsessed with research he's always had a strange way of jumping in feet first, without looking. He's heard it all his life – not stupid, but just doesn't think. It's the adhd, he supposes.

Regardless of why he is that way it's something he's been actively trying to change with Derek, to think before he leaps and to look at things from every angle. He doesn't always succeed, but he tries.

Well. If he's honest with himself he passed the line between thinking things through and over-thinking them a while back.

He's so, so tired of twisting every idea back and forth until it feels worn.

So he leaps again.

Toronto went well, right? It was a huge step in the right direction, days of being together the way Stiles wants. Surely they can have more of that? So the next time they talk he slides in a casual-only-in-the-term-of-he-wants-it-to-be-but-it-truly-isn't-at-all invitation for Derek to celebrate his birthday with him in LaPush, complete with staying in Stiles' cabin.

The lightning-quick “yes” makes him almost float.

Of course, that doesn't last long. The closer his birthday comes, the more Stiles thinks about what it means that he invited Derek to stay with him, about how they're getting closer and how their relationship is progressing, and he panics. Not about being with Derek, or sharing a life with him, or even having sex again (they're not quite there yet, but Stiles know that they will be). Oh no. He panics about being a selfish little shit.

And he does so hard enough to make a pack full of 'wolves sneeze on the regular, and for his dad to start looking worried.

Dr Bianchi agrees to see him on a Sunday, with practically no warning, and Stiles spends half an hour with words pouring out of him.

“Derek finally has his sister back, and a working pack, and I'm making him leave all of that behind because I'm selfish enough to put my desire to never set foot in Beacon Hills again before Derek's, well, everything. All of that because I'm too greedy to let him free.”

Dr Bianchi looks at him, and then does something Stiles has never seen her do before. She laughs. Long and hard, and if he wasn't busy feeling insulted by it he'd be amazed with how her laughter sounds like bells.

Once her laughter ebbs out Dr Bianchi dabs at her eyes to remove some stray mascara or something before looking him straight in the eyes.

“Are you done being silly?”

And now Stiles is really insulted.

“Oh dear. You have reached that stage. Well, let's do an exercise.

“Close your eyes. Focus on your breathing, slow deep breaths. Find your center. Are you there? Good. Now imagine that Derek hadn't found you. Nothing else about his reality changes, except he doesn't find you. So. He doesn't find you, he doesn't come see you, you don't get back together. He's got his pack in Beacon Hills, his legacy land, his family's graves, his uncle and the baby sister he thought was dead for years has returned to him.

“Can you see that? Yes? Then imagine five years from now. Is Derek still the Alpha? Is he still living in Beacon Hills?”

“Hell no.” And oh.

“Why not?”

“Because Beacon Hills might be his legacy, but it's also a constant reminder that he's responsible for that legacy now. Of all that he lost. He hangs on because of that responsibility, that duty to the land and his family's memory and the pack.”

And now that he sees it, that he's been forced to open his eyes and see it, Stiles can't understand how he could have been so blind to how much Derek really shouldn't have stayed in Beacon Hills after Laura's death.

“And once Cora takes over he's got no reason to torture himself by living in the middle of all that.”

In a way, Stiles thinks, Derek's never really stopped living in the burnout ruins of the Hale house. Physically he might be staying at the loft, but mentally, emotionally... Derek's never fully left.

“He would be able to leave, knowing that the responsibility is Cora's, and that unless she calls him for help he would never have to return there. He'd only need to go back for her, and Scott's dependable enough that he could hold the territory for her if she was to go see Derek somewhere else for a while.”

He sees it now, the future that Derek could have had, and it doesn't look so bad. He prefers the one where Derek's with him, of course, but. Derek could have been happy and free from Beacon Hills even if he hadn't found his way to Stiles.

“Exactly. Now, we don't know if Derek would have found the help he needed without your resources, but I like to think someone would have realized what he needed and stepped up.

“But we agree that chances are Derek would still have given up the Alpha spark, handed over the pack and the land to his sister, and moved away. That means you are not in any way stealing that from him. I understand you panicking, but you can't let your fears dictate your truth.

“You told Derek that you couldn't imagine going back to Beacon Hills before you even started dating. He knows exactly why you don't want to live in Beacon Hills, knew it from the beginning, and could weigh his desire to be with you against his desire to be physically close to his sister. And you won. That was his choice.

“Don't disrespect him by trying to claim that choice doesn't mean anything.

“But Stiles? You have called Beacon Hills a hellmouth more than once in my presence. Now I'm fairly sure I'm not breaking any confidentiality clauses when I say that Derek agrees, because he's done so right here in this room with you present. Right?”

Right. He really feels silly now, because Dr Bianchi is 100 percent right. He has sat here – and at home, and in LaPush – and ranted about how hellmouths aren't supposed to be a thing, and yet, Beacon Hills, with Derek all but going “amen” next to him.

“Your feelings regarding that town are completely valid. Your love for Derek doesn't change that. Wanting both the man you love and safety doesn't make you greedy, or selfish. Especially not since Derek also has some very bad memories from that place. We both know that part of why you want him to leave there is because you believe it's better for him. Even if he decided to leave for somewhere not here, not with you, you would still want that for him. So no, you're not being selfish for wanting both of you out of a place that's brought you so much pain and sorrow.”

That...hurts, hearing. Stiles is fully aware of how unreasonable he's being, but he actually felt better thinking he was selfish and practically forcing Derek to move because of it.

“Then why do I feel like a selfish shit? If I'm doing what's best for him, then why doesn't it feel like that?”

Dr Bianchi gives him a small smile.

“Because you want to do the right thing, but you're worried you'll make the wrong choice again. You're scared, and you're vulnerable, and you hate both. Just remember that there's a strength in allowing yourself to feel that way – as long as you don't allow it to rule you.”

Easier said than done, and they both know it, but then and there Stiles recommits to not letting his fears rule him.

O--o---o--O

Stiles' birthday is celebrated without much fanfare. He and his dad eat lunch with the Calls. Derek arrives shortly before dinner, which the pack eats at Sam and Emily's and where the biggest difference between today and any other day is that there's a huge cake. Afterwards they light a bonfire at the beach and just spend time together.

When he opens the door to his future home and lets Derek inside it feels heavy and symbolic and maybe like a true glimpse of the future, and Stiles shivers a little. Derek of course misinterprets him.

“Do you regret offering me to stay here?”

“Of course not! It's just, you know, big.”

His heart's as steady as it's capable of being and Derek nods. If his hands shake a little as he climbs up to the loft, well, he's not going to mention it. Once he's up he turns and calls out softly to Derek.

“Coming?”

Derek's hesitant as he climbs up, uncharacteristically slow, and he's still hesitating as he comes to a stand next to the bed. The single bed.

Yes, it's a queen, but. They haven't shared a bed since before Stiles left Beacon Hills. This is a big step.

“I could shift.”

Stiles doesn't know if Derek means shift and sleep on the floor, or shift and sleep at the foot of the bed, but it doesn't matter. That's not the plan. Sure, he's not averse to a furry bed-companion, especially not on cold nights, but his hormones are fully awake and he's got plans, you know? Bestiality really isn't something he's looking to try, not even considering werewolves – or should that be especially considering werewolves? Never mind, just, nope.

“I'm not saying no to having you curled up and warming my feet on a cold night, but this night? I was hoping for this body.”

He smiles, a little wicked, and pulls his shirt off. His pants follow them to the floor, and then he stretches out across the bed.

“I wouldn't mind you warming me up though.”

It pleases him to see Derek pull his own henley and jeans off without hesitation, and it really pleases him to have Derek join him in bed. Soon every bit of lingering chill has been chased away by werewolf warmth, along with every last bit of fear.

It's been years since he touched Derek like this, but his hands remember as they wander while they kiss. Derek however is a bit more restrained, and Stiles isn't onboard with that. He's made his mind up and he wants this. Derek wanting to be careful with him is nice, yes, but it's hard to decide if it's more sweet or annoying.

(His dick is screaming annoying.)

He's just going to have to take the matter cough into his own hands.

Derek stills.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I'm sure. I've had months to be sure. I want this. I want you.” He twists his hand a little, then pauses. Right.

“But if you're not ready, then I'll wait. I don't want this unless we both do.”

Consent is always going to be a sore point for both of them, and while Stiles would prefer a different kind of pillow talk he can deal. He hasn't spent all this time and effort getting over how they were in Beacon Hills just to make the same mistake again, only the other way around.

“I do.”

Stiles loses his breath, staring into Derek's eyes, sucker-punched by those words. Then he practically throws himself at his wolf, hands and mouth and desire.

It's everything good from before, yet somehow nothing like it used to be.

They fall asleep tangled up, sweaty and sated.

Stiles wakes up, afraid that he's going to regret what happened, or that Derek will regret it, or even that Derek will be gone – which is stupid, since he can feel Derek with him, a line of warmth half covering him, but fear is never rational. And then he takes the time to center himself, to feel, and he knows.

This is how he wants to wake up for the rest of his life. Warm, safe, happy.

Things will be hard. He's got another three years left of college. Derek's got another year, at least, of being the Alpha of Beacon Hills. They're not going to have enough time together and there's always going to be the risk of some spectacular shitshow going down. And that's without considering their relationship.

They're going to be messy, and imperfect, and sometimes stupid. They're going to fight, and disagree, and wonder if they made the right choices. They're going to storm out and slam the doors and go to bed furious. But they're also going to be happy and in love and together, and they're going to fight to stay that way.

And that, Stiles thinks, is anything but stupid.

He turns around and burrows into the arms of his 'wolf, at peace.

[starboundbane]

11 question meme

I try to be mysterious but I love taking about myself

Rules: Answer your set of questions and add 11 of your own

Tagged by: @butwewereanempire *winky face kiss emoji*

1. What is your fondest memory?

I’m not sure. I have some fond memories but most of them were tainted by these people later on hurting me or something bad happening.  Sometimes oddly graphic fond memories come up again though, like scenes in a movie. Pineapple juice with ice cubes with a girl from Ecuador that shared my name. Finding out that the bumblebees in my grandma’s garden went into a little hole in the ground. Having Renée sleeping at my place for the first time and us baking brownies together that we also had for breakfast on toast the next day. Valentine's day this year, me alone at 7am on my balcony in the thickest sweater with a giant mug of green tea, enjoying the cold. Sitting with Laura on the windowsill of her room on the 6th floor, loudly playing fuck-marry-kill at 2am. A night walk in our pajamas through the hotel park with Asia.  Sitting in this jazz café with a red haired boy that later on abandoned me.

2. What is the weirdest and/or dumbest thing you’ve done with your friends (or for them) 

All my friends are terribly weird and so am I, I don’t think anything we’ve ever done was normal. Helping a friend hide the fact that he was building a blunt in the supreme court, for example. The windowsill thing was definitely up there as well, considering the fact that we let ourselves fall backward, hoping that the bed was in the right place (it was). Walking barefoot through the lake and then lying on the gravel yelling “I AM THE SAND GUARDIAN, GUARDIAN OF THE SAND”. That one time i volunteered to pierce 2 girls’ ears in our room during the class trip, while one was half naked because a 3rd girl was dying her hair. I succeeded, they’re very happy with the results.

3. Villains or heroes or anything in between?

Listennn I love me a Good Hopeful Hero that just genuinely wants to do good and help people. Fuck yall, its not boring. But the rule of thumb for me is Anti Hero. I, for one, am an anti hero, and I love anti heroes.

4. What is your biggest pet peeve in any kind of writing

When the writers don’t care enough about the audience the actually make three dimensional, complex, unique, diverse characters. When beloved characters get dragged through the mud because it's easier to write them emotionally stunted, straight, and stereotypical. Amazing and creative plotline possibilities going to waste because million dollar studios are afraid to take risks. Overgoing and tbh insulting fans. I just,,,, care a lot about character writing and I don’t fucking get why you would purposefully do the exact opposite of what your loyal audience wants you to do.

5. What is your ideal aesthetic and what is your honest one?

Ideal: Black and white, dark blue dark red, lilac. Ravenclaw & Slytherin. Books about astrophysics, arched eyebrows behind glasses. Ambition and intelligence. Knives and flowers. Snowy mornings, the sound of your boots/heels hitting the ground when you step into a room with confidence. Holding all the power and knowing it. Plants and the song “Killer queen”. Elegance and oddity. Vampires and Aliens. Smiles through bloody teeth, bold fashion choices. “Okay, so i lied”, “The darker the night the brighter the stars”. Coffee shop dates with your friends, holding a face gently between your hands. Cold eyes turning soft for the right people, dancing with flowy clothes. Studying anything and everything, walking through the streets of a beautiful big city on your own. Shameless flirting and dangerous grins, smooth criminal as your theme song (and a lot more, i have a whole folder)

Honest: Similar, but also: Cold stares and clenched jaws. Purple circles under you eyes, looking into the night sky and sighing wistfully. Sitting alone in a room full of people. Melancholia and nostalgia while aggressively rejecting sentimentality. Planning 3 years ahead. Having no place that feels like home. A not really hidden meaning behind sentences, revealing itself only to those who listen closely enough to analyze the careful choice of words. Aching to live in fiction, or in the future. Staring at people who left you when they can’t see it, wondering why you couldn’t keep them. Telling people you work better alone, when in truth you simply always had to. Bruised knuckles, a poker face with tear-shot eyes.

6. Best breakfast you ever had?

Me and my dad driving to the city to eat in this amazing breakfast restaurant and then walking around the city until noon. I just,,, love that shit.

7. Whats the book you’d like to read but hasn’t been written yet like?

I.. honestly don’t have a good answer to that yet. Maybe sometime later

8. We all have A Type. Whats yours?

Dating wise? I’m somehow into gingers. As a professional bisexual, i must say I prefer boys with light hair, and for girls, i don’t really have a preference. Outside of gender, i must say i like people who are rather the opposite of me. I like sunshines, kind people with big smiles. But i’m also into power-couples, so be my sunshine but also kick somebody’s ass with me. For fictional characters? I honestly don’t know, some characters just draw me in.

9. Out there, in some parallel universe where shit never happened, there is a better version of you - the person you’d like to be. What are they like?

Less troubled, less melancholic. Maybe not constantly abandoned. Not constantly doubting herself, always expecting people not to want her around. A better person, maybe living in the present for once, having a good life for more than 5 hours for once. But other than that I don’t like the idea of “fixing” my issues. They make me who I am. I don’t want to be fixed, i want to be helped

10. What would you get into an argument over?

Most things. I’m a very confrontational person, I let people know when i don’t agree with something, I’m honest about my opinions, and i have said opinions about pretty much everything.

11. 3 things you love when people do and 3 you absolutely hate

love:  - people being genuinely happy to see me - when you and the other person care about each others interests & passions and rant and debate for hours - when somebody stands out in the crowd due to dressing with a unique sense of fashion, and stands up for what and who they believe; Just generally people who light the whole room up when they walk in

hate: - “of course we’re friends!” *proceed to not give a shit about you* - people who ditch you as soon as shit gets complicated because they can’t handle people with problems - When people can’t stand the fact that you’re doing You and living the way you want to, but are also too afraid to tell you what their problem is

My set of questions

1. One fictional character you would like to date, and why

2. Whats an opinion you’re very passionate about at this very moment

3. What do you imagine happiness to be like?

4. If you were a character stereotype used in movies/ games/ books, which one would you be 

5. The aestethic of your favourite field of study

6. What personality traits make you fall in love 3 times quicker than usual

7. What would your ideal café look like?

8. What would be your ideal aesthetic and what is your HONEST one? (keeping this one bc its so good)

9. What’s the person /one of the people you wish you could’ve kept in your life like?

10. Whats a part of your personality that you don’t like to admit

11. What would your romantic relationship ideally be like?

@stevegrantrogers-buckybarnes @soft-raphael @butwewereanempire (if u wanna go again lmao) @schope-nah @an--asexual--assbutt and generally everyone who wants to do this