#laur texts

[laurrelise]

was watching kurtis conner and.. hm…

that looks familiar

ok i fixed it

[highscal]

does anyone agree

[inklore]

the final girl (🩸)

tysm @moonlight-prose for tagging me!! being the final girl is a confidence boost and looking cute while being it is even better!! some tags: @deathmotif @tom-whore-dleston @psychedelic-ink @pedrito-friskito @wroteclassicaly @celestianstars @eupheme @runa-falls @whatthefishh

[lauranceofmeteli]

sk laurance with fire hair... what a concept (semi-inspired by this post by raspberrywiskey)

[tunastime]

TRICK OR TREAAAAT look here's my costume ^-^

One [1] Member's Mark Snapper Fillet (priced per pound)

[hallietblr]

my favourite birthday girl | j.fisher x reader

request: i would like to request can it be where jere and i are best friends and its my bday belly and conrad throw a surprise bday party for me at the becks beach house and jeremiah & i go upstairs and we go in his bedroom he confesses that he liked me since last summer and i have my first time with jere trying different sex positions like hes on top of me and im on top of him riding him & doing cowgirl style position lots of kissing can it be smut/angst and is it okay if i include my name and if not you can do y/n thanks babe❤️❤️❤️❤️🫶🏻🥰

a/n: i fricking LOVE this!! i had so much fun writing it and i hope you all enjoy!

warnings: SMUT (minors DNI), oral (fem! receiving), swearing, alcohol consumption, and jeremiah being a total sweetheart

—

the sun was shining brightly through the windows of my bedroom, the morning breeze coming through smelling of sea salt. i flutter my eyes open, taking in the warmth of the summer. i reach for my phone that was charging by my bed side. the moment the lockscreen wakes, it’s full of birthday messages.

i feel myself smile as i go through the individual texts from all my friends back home in maine. i respond to them all, thanking each of them for the kind and loving messages.

after doing so, i finally decide that it’s time for me to get out of bed. i stretch out the slumber from my body before crawling out of the warm bed. i grab my phone and my bluetooth speaker and head over to my bathroom to start my birthday right.

cruel summer by taylor swift starts playing loudly as i pull off my pajamas, which was in reality one of jeremiah’s old t-shirts. i decide to text my friends to see what the plans were for the day, assuming they had something in mind.

—

SUMMER GANG☀️🌊🫶

y/n!

goodmorning guys!! what are the plans for today?

stevie:

con and i are going fishing at the pier today

belly <3:

i told my mom that i’ll go to the store with her today!! sorry girl!

y/n!:

that’s fine haha have fun! tell laur i said hi:)

j:

i should be available today i think

connie:

i thought ur coming fishing?

stevie:

yeah!! boys trip!!

belly <3:

wow i’ve nvr seen us all so busy lol

j:

wdym it’s a regular day

connie:

nvm mom says u need to clean ur room jere

stevie:

LOL

belly <3:

so true, it’s gross jeremiah

j:

shut upp

urs isn’t any better bells

belly <3:

:(

y/n!:

stop being mean j

—

i close my phone, a bit disappointed that it appeared that all my friends forgot about my birthday. i try to shake it off and assume that they’re all busy, so remembering a birthday isn’t that big of a deal.

i step into my shower, washing my hair with my coconut shampoo and conditioner, lathering my body with body wash, and shaving every inch of my body. i sing to taylor swift as i shower, feeling my muscles relax in the warm water. i dry myself off with a towel and pull on a cute purple summer dress that i had gotten earlier last week.

after putting on some makeup and doing my hair, i figured that i was ready to go downstairs to see my family. at least they would remember my birthday.

you only turn seventeen once, plus laurel, susannah, and my mom always told me that seventeen is an amazing year.

my mom was preparing my favourite smoothie bowl when i got to the kitchen. her face lit up after seeing me turn the corner and a smile drawn up her face, “happy birthday, my babygirl!” she exclaimed, pulling me into a tight embrace.

i hug her back, “thank you, momma!”

she hands me the beautiful smoothie bowl, “here you go, sugar! let me go get you your presents!”

my mom scurries away to her office before returning with multiple gifts all wrapped up in colourful gift wrap. she places them on the kitchen island before sitting down beside me.

i was already half way done my breakfast when my dad and baby sister came into the kitchen.

“happy seventeenth, babydoll” my dad grins, planting a kiss on my forehead, “i can’t believe how grown up you are already.”

“happy birthday sissy!” my four year old sister yells, hugging my leg. i ruffle her hair, thanking the both of them.

my mom urges me to open up the presents, she had always been a huge gift giver — seeing people’s reactions were her favourite thing. i open the sealed boxes, revealing lululemon clothing, a new ipad, gorgeous jewelry, and some makeup products that i’ve been wanting to get.

“mom!” i exclaim, in shock of the overwhelming amount of gifts, “you didn’t have to!”

“oh, honey,” she coos, brushing my hair, “it’s your seventeenth birthday! of course i had to, do you like them?”

i look at her with my mouth opened agape, “yes, yes! of course i love them all! you know me so well, thank you!”

my arms wrap around my mom, squeezing her tight.

“my first baby,” she whispers into my ear so my sister, lindsay, doesn’t hear her, “i love you with my whole heart.”

i finish up the rest of my breakfast, while also admiring my new items. my dad also takes a few photos of us, most likely to post on his facebook page later. luckily, i look decent right now.

“eat up,” my dad says to me, “your friends are probably waiting for you.”

i shrug, “they’re all busy today.”

my mom turns to me with a raised eyebrow, “seriously? do you want me to call susannah?”

i shake my head quickly, “no! it’s alright, really.”

“i’m sorry, baby” my dad squeezes my shoulder, “you can hang out with us today.”

i give him a small smile, “that sounds good.”

the rest of the day was uneventful, well not exactly. it was moreso just a typical day for us. my sister and i went swimming in our pool, i watched tv with my parents, and scrolled through my phone a ton. i really didn’t want to confront my friends about them forgetting my birthday, it would’ve been immature was what i told myself. it’s not like i’m six anymore.

i was laying on my bed when i received a text message.

—

j:

heyy pretty

wanna come over? we just came back from fishing 🎣

y/n!:

sure :)

j:

awesome! see you soon!!

also wear something nice ;)

y/n!:

why?

j:

not that you don’t always look nice!!!

my mom wants to take photos or smt lol

y/n!:

oooook

—

my brows furrow in slight confusion of the request but i shrug it off. i get up from my laying position and go to my closet to find something ‘nice’. i find a black satin slip dress that i brought from back home, i figured this would be nice enough. i put it on and look at myself in front of my mirror.

i smooth down the material of the dress, checking how it looks from the side and from behind. i silently pray that jeremiah would like it, i’ve overheard him, conrad, and steven talk about how jeremiah is an ass man multiple times — considering how the satin material of the dress perfectly fits my bum, i’m convinced he’ll appreciate it.

i grab my phone, sunglasses, and my favourite lip gloss before heading downstairs. i see my parents cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie together with my sister fast asleep in the space next to them.

i slide on my white converse and head over to them, “i’m going over to the fishers.” i tell them. they smile and remind me to have fun and to be home by two am.

the walk over to the fisher summer home is brief, a quick five minute walk. them living only two houses over from mine always came in handy. i open up the front door before my vision became black.

“do you trust me?” he says, jeremiah’s hands clamped over my eyes.

“if you ruin my mascara, j, i might cry.” i joke, “yes, i do trust you.”

“okay, good.” i can hear his infamous smile in his voice, “come with me.”

he guides me slowly through the house, his hands still over my eyes. jeremiah lifts them off and it takes me a moment before noticing all the decorations put up around the kitchen. there are streamers hanging from the walls and across the ceilings, so many pretty balloons in every corner of the room, a huge ‘happy birthday’ sign hanging on the cupboards.

my hand flyes to clamp over my open mouth, “oh my god!”

steven, belly, laurel, susannah, and conrad all jump up from their hiding spot behind the kitchen island.

“surprise!” they all scream out. i smile widely, taking in everything,

“you guys!” i gush, as im being pulled into a hug from jeremiah, “thank you!”

his muscular arms hold me and he plants two kisses on my hair, “did you really think we forgot your birthday, pretty girl?”

i laugh, “well maybe! you guys are forgetful sometimes… like the time you forgot belly and i at the walmart!”

he rolls his eyes playfully, “oh shush, that was one time!”

“we never forget birthdays here.” susannah giggles before also hugging me, “happy birthday my gorgeous and beaming girl.”

everyone takes their turn in hugging me and wishing me a happy birthday. i thank each of them individually, the smile never leaving my face once.

“who planned this?” i ask laurel, who was carefully pulling out the birthday cake from the fridge.

“it was all belly and connie’s idea” she smiles, “now go sit!”

i take my seat next to jeremiah and steven before laurel brings the cake with seventeen candles on it in front of me. they all sing happy birthday to me and i close my eyes to make a wish.

every year since i was five years old, my birthday wish has been the same. not even just for my birthday, anytime i saw a shooting star, or tossed a penny in a fountain, or honestly any other occasion that required making a wish — it has always been the same.

it was wishing for jeremiah to notice me in the same way that i see him. it’s all i’ve ever wanted, as stupid as it can get.

i blow out all the candles and susannah cuts up the cake into slices before serving it to everyone. belly reminds me of all the birthday presents that they had gotten me, and to open it later.

after cake, susannah and laurel agree to leave the home to go to a cocktail bar so that the kids can have the house to themselves for a few hours. more teenagers from cousins start showing up, all of them wishing me a happy birthday as they come in.

drinks are being served, music is playing loudly off the multiple speakers scatter around the home, beer pong matches are being played by the pool, people dancing.

jeremiah stays next to me for the whole night, we chat with a few of our friends while sipping our seltzers.

“do you wanna go upstairs for a bit?” jeremiah says to me in a hushed tone, “y’know, to get away from this?”

i nod, “yeah, for sure.”

he smiles, taking my hand into his own and guiding me through the crowd and up the stairs. we walk to his bedroom, he closes the door behind me and locks it. jeremiah places his drink on his dresser and offers to put mine next to it, i agree and soon we’re both seated on his bed.

we make small talk, him asking about my birthday so far as he rummages around in his desk drawer. he sits back down beside me, facing me. he places a small velvet box into my hands,

“open it, my favourite birthday girl.” he smirks, looking into my eyes. his hand was on my thigh and i can feel myself blushing.

i think i can get lost in his ocean eyes, they’re so beautiful and full of life. i smile and carefully open it, inside was a gorgeous golden ring with a large (what im assuming was a fake) diamond on it.

“j…” i gasp, lifting the ring out of its box and admiring it, “this must have costed a fortune.”

he shrugs, “anything for you, look on the band.”

i bring the ring closer to my eyes and see that there’s an engraving on the inside of the band.

in love with my best friend <3

my jaw drops, “jeremiah?”

i look up at him, our eyes interlocking. he slowly nods, “i love you, y/n — i’ve always have, i thought it was a childhood crush and i don’t think i really realized until last summer that i truly do love you.”

“can i?” he asks, taking the ring from my hand. i nod and he carefully slips it onto my finger before being it to his lips and kissing it.

i pull him into a kiss, my hands rested on his cheeks and his on my waist. he kissed back almost immediately. my hands move down to his built chest and gently push him down onto his back, our lips never leaving each others. i adjust my legs so im straddled on him,

“i’ve always loved you too.” i whisper against his lips, he smiles into the kiss and kisses me harder.

his fingers fiddle with the edge of my dress, hands sliding up and down the back of my thighs before squeezing my ass slowly, “god, i couldn’t take my eyes off of you in this dress. it makes your body look so fucking good.” jeremiah groans.

i lower my crotch onto the evident tent in his pants, he gasps at the contact while slowly grind my hips on his.

“fuck, you’re gonna make me come in my pants.” he moans into my ear as i flip my hair onto one side. i bring my face to his jawline, kissing it and licking the soft skin. his hands tighten around my ass and i moan at the contact.

his hand slips under my dress and to the lace material of my thong, his finger slide underneath the band of it. he lifts it before letting it go, the snap of my underwear against my skin making me moan louder.

“sit on my face,” he tells me in a low voice, i feel myself getting even more wet and excited at the tone of it, “let me give you another birthday gift.”

he lifts me by the waist and moves me so my core is hovering above his mouth. i grab onto his head board while jeremiah slowly moves the lace material to the side and lowers me onto his face.

i gasp loudly when his tongue licks a long stride between my folds. he moans into me, “fuck, you’re so wet for me, baby.” he mumbles against me, the vibrations causing me to throw my head back in pleasure.

jeremiah dips his tongue into me, licking up all the juices and tracing figure eights against me. i squeeze the headboard tighter, becoming a moaning mess quickly. his tongue is magic. he fucks me with his mouth, my thighs shaking around his head,

“shit, jere.” i cry out, feeling my high coming closer. his hands squeeze my ass yet again before landing a smack on my left ass cheek. i moan loudly in response, my body flowing with immense pleasure, “fuck, i’m gonna come!”

he never slows his tongue as i feel my orgasm come crashing down on me. waves of pure pleasure crashing down. jeremiah licks up every last drop as i slowly come down from the high. i move myself down from his face and back down towards his groin. i lean down to kiss his passionately, tasting myself on his lips,

“holy shit, i can eat you out all day long.” he says to me as his hands fumble with his pants. he kicks off his pants and boxers. his erection slaps his lower abdomen and i drool at the sight of it. it’s huge, red tip begging for attention and veins pulsating on the sides of it.

i move to give him a blowjob but his grip on my waist prevents me from moving, “it’s your birthday.” jeremiah tells me, “you can give me head another time.” he winks

my hips position themselves above his thick and veiny cock and i lower myself onto it. he fills me up perfectly and we both moan loudly at the same time. every inch of him inside on me as i bottom out.

i slowly start rocking my hips against him, both of us becoming a panting mess. his hands never leave my hips, lifting me and slamming me back down onto his dick.

“you feel so good, baby” he praises, “you tight pussy feels amazing around me, fuck”

i continue riding him, my hands tangled up in his hair, pulling it which makes him moan.

“i- i think your cock was made for me.” i whisper in his ear before kissing him harshly.

he smirks, “oh yeah?”

and i nodded feverishly before he flips us around so im on my back and his on top of me, “sorry baby, i want to be in control now”

he pulls out almost entirely before slamming himself back in, the new position making him hit me even deeper than he was before. he thrusts harder and deeper, my back arches and i grab onto the sheets beside me, “fuck i’m close” i cry

“me too, hold on.” he continues fucking me, littering kissing on my face and neck. i can feel my inner muscles squeezing around him which makes jeremiah groan, “i’m fucking gonna come.”

“let it go.” he encourages me, his thumb going down to start abusing the bundle of nerves. almost immediately, i feel myself orgasm. my legs tightening around his waist and i feel him finish inside of me. he releases a series of curse words as he fucks us both through our orgasms.

a few moments after he pulls out and rolls next to me. we’re both breathing heavily, trying to catch our breaths, “holy shit” i pant out, looking over at him.

he grins, “that was amazing.”

“beyond amazing.” i repeat and he laughs,

“fuck, i should’ve asked you this before.” he says, reaching over to cup my face, “will you be my girlfriend, y/n?”

i blush, “yes, a hundred times yes!”

—

taglist! @randomaccountworld123 @bxbyyyjocelyn @20nugs @jeremiahxaesthetic

[meazalykov]

across the pond

lauren james x black!reader ( requested by my mutual @pinkyqil )

summary: you surprise your girlfriend at the euros final

you’ve never pulled an all-nighter in your life before, not like this anyway. sure, you’ve stayed up late cramming for exams, but this is different. 

the glow of the computer screen in front of you blurs with each passing hour. your eyes feel gritty, and your fingers ache from typing, but you don’t stop. you can’t. there’s too much riding on this.

you lean back in your chair, running your hands through your thick, coiled hair, tugging lightly at the roots in frustration. 

the clock on your laptop reads 3:47 am, and the words on your screen are starting to swim, but you push through. you have to. you can’t afford to let anything slip, not with how close the semester is to finishing. 

not with how much pressure you’re under.

columbia isn’t forgiving when it comes to deadlines, and you knew this when you got accepted. 

you also didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be to balance school and life, especially when your girlfriend is lauren james, playing at the highest level of football with chelsea and the england national team.

you check your phone for what feels like the hundredth time that night, no new messages from lauren. 

the last one is still there, sitting unanswered in your text thread, where the argument escalated and left the both of you simmering in frustration.

“you don’t get it, laur. you don’t know how this feels. you’re a footballer, not a college student.”

you regret saying that the moment it you said it, but you were so tired. so frustrated with the assignments piling up and the guilt you felt for not being able to make it to london to watch lauren play in the euro final against germany. 

and lauren? she had been so excited, so insistent that you come, that you be there to watch her on the biggest stage of her career.

“and you think i don’t get pressure? you think i don’t know how it feels to have people depending on me, waiting for me to perform? come on, y/n. that’s not fair.”

you can still hear her voice, quiet but sharp with disappointment, over the phone. that conversation ended hours ago, but it’s still looping in your mind, like some background track you can’t shut off.

you don’t have time to dwell on it now. you stare at the paper in front of you, force yourself to focus. 

the library is quiet except for the occasional rustle of paper or the sound of someone else’s fingers tapping on a keyboard. you’re one of the few people left at this hour, the kind of student who lives in the library when finals loom.

you shift in your seat, the wooden chair creaking under your weight, and refocus on the words in front of you. you’re so close to finishing. if you can just get through these last couple of pages, you can make it. 

you’ve already mapped it out in your head — finish the work, book a flight to london, and surprise lauren before the final.

it sounds simple, but it’s anything but.

the hours stretch on, but eventually, your fingers slow down, your paper complete. 

relief washes over you, your muscles relaxing for the first time in what feels like days. you save your work, upload your assignments, and lean back in your chair with a long exhale.

you did it.

now comes the real test.

you grab your phone, fingers shaking slightly from exhaustion and adrenaline as you pull up your flight app. 

there’s one that leaves JFK airport in three hours, direct to london, and your thumb hovers over the “book now” button for a second, before pressing it. the confirmation comes through almost immediately, and for the first time all night, a small smile tugs at the corner of your lips. 

you’re going to make it.

you quickly gather your things, tossing your laptop into your bag and making a mental note to grab some coffee before heading to the airport. as you make your way out of the library, the cool early morning air hits you, waking you up slightly as you pull your jacket tighter around yourself. 

hopefully the chairs on the plane are comfortable in comfort plus, since you’ll get your overdue sleep on the plane. 

your mind is racing with thoughts of lauren and the final. you’d said some things you shouldn’t have in that argument, but now you have the chance to make it right.

the cab ride to the airport is a blur, and before you know it, you’re boarding the plane, settling into your seat with a sigh. you shoot lauren a quick text — nothing too revealing, just that you’re thinking of her and you’re sorry about how the conversation ended. 

you doubt she’ll reply before the final, but it’s something.

you close your eyes for a moment, trying to rest before the flight takes off. the exhaustion from the all-nighter pulls you into a light sleep, but you’re too anxious to fully relax. your mind keeps going back to the moment lauren told you about england making it to the final, how her eyes had lit up, how excited she was. 

you’ve never seen her so happy, so ready for something. you didn’t want to let her down, and now, at the last minute, you’re determined to show up for her.

by the time the plane lands in london, you’re awake from sleeping on the whole flight. the moment your phone gets signal, you shoot a quick text to leah, who’s always been a good friend to both you and lauren.

“hey, i’m in london. didn’t know if you had a spare ticket? i know it’s late to ask.”

you’re not even sure if she’ll respond, she’s probably completely focused on the final, but a minute later, your phone buzzes.“

“hi!!! i got you. meet me at the stadium.”

your heart leaps, excitement flooding through you. you’re really going to make it.

when you arrive at the stadium, it’s already buzzing with energy. fans in england jerseys are everywhere, and you can feel the excitement in the air. you make your way to the designated section leah mentioned, slipping past security with the ticket she arranged for you.

you’ve never been in the friends and family section for a game this big before, and it feels surreal to be surrounded by people who are all here for their loved ones, just like you are.

the match is electric. england and germany, battling it out on the pitch in front of a roaring crowd. you feel every emotion as the game flows, biting your lip, clenching your fists every time lauren gets the ball. she’s playing brilliantly, and you’re bursting with pride.

then, chloe kelly scores. you jump to your feet, screaming along with the rest of the crowd, your heart pounding as england pulls ahead 2-1. 

you can barely contain your excitement as the final whistle blows, and england are crowned champions. the stadium erupts, and you find yourself screaming again, jumping up and down with the other family members and friends of the players. 

the joy in the air is palpable, infectious.

and then you see her — lauren, holding the trophy, her face a mixture of disbelief and pure happiness. you watch as she celebrates with her teammates, grinning from ear to ear, and your heart swells. this is everything she’s worked for.

as the celebrations wind down, you linger near the edge of the family section, watching as the players start making their way over to their loved ones. 

lauren is laughing with leah and georgia, the trophy still in her hands, when she suddenly pauses.

“is that—”

her eyes widen as she spots you, standing just a few feet away, talking to jess. her jaw drops, and for a second, she looks like she can’t believe what she’s seeing.

you grin, waving slightly as her eyes lock onto yours.

“y/n?” lauren says, her voice barely audible over the noise of the crowd.

you take a step toward her, closing the gap between you as she breaks into a run, practically throwing herself into your arms.

“you’re here,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion as she pulls back to look at you, her hands cupping your face.

“there was no way i was going to miss this,” you say, grinning as you brush a curl out of her face.

her smile is blinding, and she leans in to kiss you, soft and sweet, her lips lingering on yours as the world around you fades away for a moment.

“i’m so proud of you,” you murmur against her lips, and you feel her smile grow even wider.

“i’m so happy you made it,” lauren whispers, pulling you into another hug, her arms wrapped tightly around you as the noise of the celebrations swirls around you.

and in that moment, standing there in the middle of a stadium full of thousands of people, with lauren holding onto you like you’re the only thing that matters.

you know you made the right choice. there was no way you could’ve missed this. not for anything in the world.

masterlist

thank you for the request pinky I hope you liked it :D

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

@strxwberry-swtichblxde suggested i draw Laur and Malachi so i did :3

undead father + unalive son.

[text: Laurence - "Hey, it'll be okay, even if it isn't right now."]

[neptunescore]

Charlos - divorce

For the driver lauring and random word

Prompt word: Divorce | Pairing: Charlos

Can be read as part 1 to this

Carlos knew he was crying, could feel the slow wetness against his cheeks, the uncontrollable shake in his fingers as his body refused to cooperate with him.

The phone in his hand slipped slightly — the call had long ended, yet the device had remained in its position next to his ear. A slow stream of acknowledgement coursed through him —

It was done. It was over. There was nothing more after this.

He didn’t know what to do now, should he go and make the breakfast smoothie he normally had at this time? Go cut up half the strawberries he normally did, pour half the amount of milk he usually did? Should he go look at the unfinished nursery they had so meticulously been planning? Figure out what to do with the newly bought pastel blue crib, the baby monitor so recently installed?

Should he ignore the missing half of his heart? Force himself to breathe the same amount with half his arteries gone?

He didn’t know.

How had it even come to this? They were doing so good. They were planning to adopt a baby, for god’s sake! Carlos had only bid Charles goodbye a mere week ago, kissing his husband softly on the lips as the other man boarded his flight to go attend another one of those nonsensical Ferrari meetings. They had shared a happy smile— had said the usual ‘I love you’s’ to each other. Charles had said it, he’d clearly told Carlos he loved him. His lover had looked straight into his eyes and told him he couldn’t wait to be back, to finally go and look at the adoption centres that they both had so joyfully made lists of.

Yet, here Carlos stood — his whole world crashing down in front of him, legs trembling as he tried his best to remain upright; tried his best to ignore the absence of the slimmer, paler body that he’d grown so accustomed to having next to him.

The Williams driver sat down, body creaking and groaning as it settled against the hardwood floor beneath him.

How could Charles do this to him. How could he do this.

Sure, the leaked photos of them together were sudden and undeniable — their fingers intertwined as they stood next to each other in the vegetable aisle of their local grocery shop, smiles on both their faces, noses an inch apart and eyes crinkled with love — but Carlos had thought that this was finally it. They’d finally come out; he’d finally be able to hold his husband’s hand in public, finally be able to kiss his cariño openly after a particularly good race, wrap his arms around the other during race weekends without having to worry about anything.

A cold laugh left him.

Oh, how he’d thought. How he’d believed.

What a fool he was, calling Charles excitedly in hopes of sharing his joy with his husband. What a fool.

He’d been met with nothing but silence, an extended ring as his call went to voicemail; Carlos had thought nothing of it, pressing the dial button a total of two more times before coming to the conclusion that Charles must be busy — and it was probably time for him to sleep anyway, Charles would probably call him later and then they could finally celebrate.

What a fool.

The only thing he’d received from Charles was a four line text. Ferrari wanted them to act like it was just another old teammate photoshoot. The tifosi wouldn’t accept this relationship. Ferrari couldn’t accept this relationship. Ferrari would drop him if he were to remain with Carlos.

The dark haired man had laughed, he’d laughed and laughed, laughed when he realised Charles had blocked his number, laughed when Charles’ lawyers had called him, laughed when he’d been told that the divorce papers would be mailed to him, laughed as he choked and sobbed and left bloodied marks against the kitchen counter he’d gripped.

Carlos’ head thunked against the rustic floor.

God. Let this be a nightmare, god. Give me mercy, god.

WHAT ABT A HI? A HELLO? A HOW R U DOING? DO I LOOK LIKE A COMMON WHORE ANON??😔 Nah lmfao I hope this matched ur expectations💗, I did get a little bit carried away with it though😭 (in my defense I WAS listening to 'traitor' by Olivia while writing this😤)

Divider by @cafekitsune

Rules and detailes☆°•~

[laurrelise]

was watching spongebob like the very mature grown woman adult i am and this line sounded familiar

[laurancezvahlslefteyebrow]

Headcanon that Laurance knows multiple languages:

Like obviously he’s fluent in Ru’Aunian (english), but I think he’d also be semi fluent in french and spanish (or whatever the in universe equivalent is). He comes from a pirate town, and there are a lot of “french” and “spainish” pirates and sailors that come to port so he picked up some things. I think Joh was probably rather fluent so he likely learned from him.

I think he’d know some conversational Galish (the main language of Gal’Ruk) and Southern Tulian. I imagine Galish is similar to Norwegian and Southern Tulian is similar to Japanese.

Travis definitely taught him all the Galish he knows and Nana, being from Southern Tu’La taught him not only a bit of Southern Tulian but also some common Meif’wa hand signs, as many of them (including her) sometimes prefer to speak nonverbally.

He also knows quite a bit of Old Ru’Aunian, as it’s what they mostly speak in the Nether. He doesn’t like speaking or reading it, as it brings up a lot of bad memories. But it can come in handy when needing a private conversation with Aphmau, when reading old texts, and when they meet Malachi. Malachi really only speaks the old language when they first meet him, so Aph and Laur are the only ones whom he can really speak to, partly why he’s so attached to them and views them as his parents.

Laury really likes learning new languages, and he always has. Like when he met Cadenza.

Cadenza spoke Ru’Aunian (obviously, she’s from Ru’Aun), but she also spoke a regional dialect from her old village Zerimar. This dialect sounds a bit like a cross between english and russian. To most, it’s just jibberish, but if you take the time to break it down it makes much more sense. As kids (and adults) Laurance and Cadenza would speak Zerimarian when they didn’t want anyone to know what they were saying. Much to Hayden and Joh’s disapproval, as Cadenza refused to teach them.

Not only that, but the only other Zeriamrian in Meteli, Kenmur, wouldn’t teach them either. Much too afraid of what Cadenza would do to him if he did.

I also think he’d know a little greek (again whatever the in universe equivalent is). I headcanon him as greek, so I think his parents spoke it. He was young when they died and he’s spoken Ru’Aunian most of his life, but I think as he grows he decides to relearn some to kind of regain a bit of what he’s lost.

[inklore]

the day tumblr gets a center text option is the day i stop complaining about this hellsite.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 14

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

No Laurent. All signs of recent occupancy had been a handspan away from his own body, suggesting a night spent in close but not transgressive proximity: some kind of self-preservation had apparently prevented Damen from rolling inward during the night; from throwing his arm over Laurent’s torso and drawing them together to make the small tent seem larger than it was. As a result, Damen was in possession of all his limbs, and even had his clothing restored to him. Thank you, Laurent.

The embroidery came later, in the retelling, as the story was told again and again by the men, taking on its own character as it passed over camp. The Prince had ridden out, with only one soldier. Deep in the mountains, he had chased down the rats responsible for these killings. Had ripped them out of their hiding holes and fought them, thirty to one, at least. Had brought them back thrashed, lashed and subdued. That was their Prince for you, a twisty, vicious fiend who you should never, ever cross, unless you wanted your gullet handed to you on a platter. Why, he once rode a horse to death just to beat Torveld of Patras to the mark.

like how this ironic misunderstanding of the events is similar to how damen viewed laurent in book 1 and some of book 2. except now he gets the irony

He looked at Laurent’s tent of silks, the pennants unfurled in the breeze, their starbursts undulating. The distant voices of the men swelled briefly, then dropped away. It would not be like this. It would be a systematic campaign moving southwards towards Ios, building on the support he had from the kyroi factions. He would not be stealing out of camp at night to spin mad plans, to dress in unfamiliar clothes and forge alliances with rogue clans, or to fight alongside pony-riding warriors, capturing bandits improbably in the mountains. It would not be like this again.

:(

‘Keep the prisoners alive, keep the women on side, keep my men from the women,’ said Laurent, as though reciting from a checklist. ‘Come over here and talk geography.’ He came as he was bid, and took a seat opposite Laurent, across the map.

they’re so cute i can’t stand them. “come over here and talk geography” SHUT UP

Laurent did not tend to show any of the usual outward signs of fatigue. The control that he asserted and maintained over the troop was an extension of the control with which he ruled himself. A few tells existed. The words, perhaps.

“the words, perhaps” is such a funny line here. because like yeah no shit, but also how is damen supposed to know when laurent’s words actually reflect his true feelings?

Instinctively, Damen brought his hand up to squeeze Laurent’s shoulder gently—and then stopped. Laurent went very still, as Damen became aware of what he had just done, and that his grip was still on Laurent’s shoulder. He felt the locked muscles like hard wood beneath his hand. ‘Stiff?’ said Damen, casually. ‘A little,’ said Laurent, after a moment in which Damen’s heart knocked twice against the inside of his chest.

one thing i really appreciate about capri is the way that laurent is written, as a character with trauma/baggage who experiences intimacy in a way you wouldn’t expect from the love interest in a romance novel. he doesn’t make anything easy, for himself or for damen. his physical and mental reactions to things are very telling and consistent, and i appreciate pacat’s commitment to honoring that aspect of the character. that way it’s so much more rewarding when we finally see laurent let go of control and experience love that doesn’t hurt him.

i won’t do an official count for “laurent intimacy issues,” since it’s not nearly as clear-cut as “laurent leans,” but if there’s something that strikes this chord with me, i do want to make note of it. just… stuff that i personally appreciate, especially from a love interest in a romance novel, whose whole narrative job—one would expect—is to love the protagonist and have hot sex. but sensitive and traumatized people deserve love and intimacy, too, at their own pace and on their own terms. and laurent has a lot more going on than what damen perceives, or what the romance genre dictates. it’s nice to point out little moments where his issues affect his physical and emotional reactions, because it’s nice to know that those moments 1) exist and 2) don’t make him any less of a romantic lead.

He applied a gentle pressure with his thumbs. He said, ‘You brought me ice, last night.’ ‘This,’ said Laurent, ‘is a little more—’ It was a word of sharp points: ‘—intimate,’ he said, ‘than ice.’ ‘Too intimate?’ Damen said. Slowly, he was kneading Laurent’s shoulders. He did not usually think of himself as someone with suicidal impulses. Laurent did not relax at all, just stood unmoving. And then, at the apsis of his thumbs, a muscle shifted beneath pressure, unlocking a sequence all the way down Laurent’s back. Laurent said, unwillingly, ‘I . . . There.’ ‘Here?’ ‘Yes.’

a lot going on here! made even more complicated by damen’s pov!

damen takes physical intimacy much less seriously than laurent. prior to book 1, he has always enjoyed willing and enthusiastic partners (some of whom were conditioned into that enthusiasm, but we’ll deal with that later), and to him, sex is not a means of abuse or power. prior to book 1, intimacy was never used to disempower damen. laurent, obviously, is very different. pretty much all he knows of intimacy is abuse and disempowerment.

so, being aware of laurent’s trauma and also being fairly perceptive of the signs pointing towards it, i can see here that laurent is fighting a massive battle with himself. because, like, he does want this. but he doesn’t want to want this, because this is something he doesn’t have control over. the fact that he doesn’t throw damen off, and even explicitly asks him to massage a certain spot, is a demonstration of vulnerability that damen doesn't really understand.

which isn't bad or wrong of him, at all! if he did understand more about laurent’s trauma and responses, he’d almost certainly be less confident with initiating intimacy, which is something laurent needs from a partner. it's a lot harder when they're both completely terrified (which damen is, in a different way, but lesser so.) damen is afraid that laurent will bite his head off because he’s a bitch, not because he’s traumatized. and i think that’s a good place for them to be, at this stage of their relationship.

also, the “suicidal impulses” quip is great.

He felt Laurent subtly give himself up to his hands; yet as with a man closing his eyes on the edge of a cliff, it was an act of continuous tension, not surrender.

yeah

‘Like this?’ ‘Yes.’

“he likes that. do it harder.”

Laurent’s head had dropped forward a little. Damen had no idea what he was doing. He was distantly aware that he had had his hands on Laurent’s body once before, and couldn’t believe it, because it felt so impossible now; yet that moment felt connected to this one, even if only in contrast, his current caution against the unguarded way he had let his hands slide down over Laurent’s wet skin.

damen, meanwhile, has recently developed his own intimacy issues/trauma in book 1. these two are a mess

‘Is it so hard to relax?’ said Damen, quietly.

YEAH. IT IS.

‘You only have to walk outside to see what you’ve accomplished. Those men are yours.’ He didn’t pay attention to the signs, the slight stiffening. ‘Whatever happens tomorrow, you’ve done more than anyone could—’ ‘That’s enough,’ said Laurent, pushing himself away unexpectedly.

damen he’s not stressed bc of the war stuff, he’s stressed bc another human being is showing him physical affection and he actually wants it to be happening

When Laurent turned to face him, his eyes were dark. His lips were parted uncertainly. He had lifted his hand to his own shoulder, as though chasing a ghost touch there. He did not look exactly relaxed, but the movement did look a little easier. As if realising that, Laurent said, almost awkwardly, ‘Thank you.’ And then, in wry acknowledgement: ‘Getting tied up leaves an impression. I didn’t realise being captured was so uncomfortable.’

ohhhhh my god. oh my god. so fucking real, every line is so fucking real. the relief of no longer being touched, being back in control. the fuckin, phantom touch on the shoulder—an assessment of the massage, yes, but also… whose ghost is it? damen isn’t asking that question, but i am, and it’s sad. and then the awkward thanks, and the immediate snarky comment to follow up. it’s just so real.

‘I promise I’ll never tie you to the back of a horse,’ said Laurent. There was a pause in which Laurent’s mordant gaze was on him. ‘That’s right, I’m still captured,’ said Damen.

says the protagonist of the “captive prince” series

‘Your eyes say, “For now,”’ Laurent said. ‘Your eyes have always said, “For now.”’

ohhh this line is juicy. because like, yeah, there’s the melancholy yearning context of the last 10 or so chapters, but before? when they were enemies, when laurent was actively hurting and trying to disempower damen? even then, he never showed laurent submission. and laurent clearly noticed. they make me so crazyyyy

‘If you were a pet, I would have gifted you enough by now to buy out your contract, many times over.’

this is more a flaw in my understanding of the pet system, but is he saying that he’s done damen enough favors that if the favors were monetary he could afford to pay off his contract? that’s my best understanding of the line at this point.

‘I’d still be here,’ said Damen, ‘with you. I told you that I would see this border dispute through to its finish. Do you think I’d go back on my word?’ ‘No,’ said Laurent, almost as if he was realising it for the first time.

they drive me insane. the whole “suffering alone” theme—laurent is realizing that he hasn’t been suffering alone, lately, because damen is intentionally staying by his side. laurent may be great at strategic thinking, but he is so used to being manipulated and abused that he doesn’t even consider that someone could be genuinely devoted to him, as a person.

But I know you don’t like it. I remember how much it maddened you in the palace, to be bound and powerless. I felt yesterday how badly you wanted to hit someone.

another interesting re-contextualization of book 1! although it’s not quite an apology, bc i’m sure laurent was aware of the maddening and was probably like “good. this guy killed my brother”

Damen found he’d moved without realising it, his fingers lifting to touch the bruised edge of Laurent’s jaw. He said, ‘The man who did this to you.’ The words just came out. The warmth of skin under his fingers in that moment took all his attention, before he became aware that Laurent had jerked back and was staring at him, blue eyes huge with pupil. Damen was suddenly aware of how out of control he was—he felt—and called violently on his faculties to try to put a stop to—this. ‘I’m sorry. I . . . know better than that.’

“i know better than that” is an INSANE thing for him to say here, by the way. they’re both so compelled by each other and afraid of each other. the amount of work pacat has put into their arc/characterization so far means that scenes like these can have something going on between every single line. honestly i think there’s more going on here off the page, than there is on it

‘No. Wait. I . . . wait.’ Damen stopped, and turned. Laurent’s gaze was edged with indecipherable emotion, and his jaw was set at a new angle. The silence stretched out for such a long time that the words, when they came, were a shock. ‘What Govart said about my brother and I . . . it wasn’t true.’ ‘I never thought it was,’ said Damen, uneasily. ‘I mean that whatever . . . whatever taint exists in my family, Auguste was free of it.’ ‘Taint?’

fascinated by the possible reasons for laurent to say this, in this moment. he uses it on the page to then say that damen is a good and honorable person like auguste, so that’s the easy answer. but if he was just experiencing some ptsd flashbacks, i wonder if this is also something of a grounding statement for himself. because we know who he’s referring to, when he’s talking about bad people on his family tree. it’s almost like he’s trying to figure out how to frame this situation, more for himself than damen—laurent feels protected and cared for in this moment, and the last time he allowed himself to feel that way after auguste’s death, his uncle had taken advantage. so of course he’s picturing his uncle. but this statement, a reminder to himself that damen is more like auguste than the regent, and auguste would have never done anything with laurent in the way the regent had… augh. laurent your brain.

‘I wanted to tell you that, because you,’ said Laurent, as though he was forcing the words out, ‘You remind me of him. He was the best man I have ever known. You deserve to know that, as you deserve at least a fair . . . In Arles, I treated you with malice and cruelty. I will not insult you by attempting to atone for deeds with words, but I would not treat you that way again. I was angry. Angry, that isn’t the word.’ It was bitten off; a jagged silence followed.

this is a laurent apology! no “sorry” necessary. and he’s the closest to telling damen the truth as he’s ever been, but still he stops himself. i wonder if it’s partially out of shame, for how he treated damen. a refusal to make an excuse, because he understands the cruelty of his actions regardless. and of course he has cognitive dissonance to maintain and tactical reasons for keeping the lie going. but still, this is honest.

Then, with a return to his more usual tone, ‘And you don’t need to take watch,’ said Laurent. ‘You sleep prudently.’

of course he can’t just say, like, “sleep well” or “good night.” prudently means carefully, or in good judgment… so like, he’d wake up if something dangerous happened? laurent trusts that? i can’t tell if the statement is an observation or a command. it’s either, “[i want you to] sleep mindfully” or “you sleep mindfully [so you don’t need to stay awake on watch].” hmmm

Damen searched his face, but found nothing in it that he could read, which, he supposed, as he lifted his hands to the laces of his own jacket, was typical.

buddy there is so much subtext going on here it’s okay just get some rest

[tunastime]

12 and 27? <3

hi laurie!! <33

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

If I count things I started this year? I think honestly, about 5! There's ranchers and docsuma for SEN, a bdubs secret life fic, a zedango fic that has yet to come off the ground (sorry myke :( ) and there's a season 9 doc fic that I've been bouncing around! they're all projects where I've got a semblance of what I want to write, so I'm really excited to keep working on them into the new year! I don't expect my mcyt hyperfixation to be going away any time soon :3

27. What do you listen to while writing?

Oooh, I like this question a lot! It really depends honestly... I mean laurs you've heard me repeat the same song over and over but most of the time it's either 1. looped instrumental tracks for atmosphere, 2. closing my eyes and playing a song that helped me figure out a scene (those spotify asks were done like that!) or 3. um. nothing!

I do a lot of my writing in pretty quiet places (at home, on the phone in the car, in the library/coffee shop, at work on break) so I kind of just zone in and work on it. If I'm really struggling with focus I love love sitting with people in discord voice calls just to body-double, and at that point any music they put on I can normally tune out and just work! tldr: a lot of instrumental, since I can't focus with words going blablabla

(ask meme)

[randyx]

Laure Esposito

TW: SPOILERS

Laure Esposito is a very young girl, an orphan, a Guardian of the truth and Bobby's partner. She lost her parents to the plague and was cared for by the Order of the Truth school since she was very young, becoming a strong believer in prophecy and her religion which she is not allowed to lie although there is a very key moment where it is necessary to lie. There is a moment in the story where a zombie bites her and as she becomes infected she has a flashback to the death of her parents followed by an internal conversation where she blames herself for lying leading to a panic attack. According to the prophecy, the plague had spread because of the king, and having lost her parents to the plague, her greatest achievement is to end the king with faith in the prophecy. When it is revealed that the king was Bobby there was a moment where it was shocking for her but remembering how close they were together and that she was to blame for the fact that Bobby's character had now changed so much to a more heroic one. She finally leaves him alive but that is not the point of this text. IT'S JUST FUCKING WELL WRITTEN, LAURE IS AN INCREDIBLY WELL WRITTEN CHARACTER.

[jxfndm]

JEREMIAH FISHER ONE SHOT - READER x JEREMIAH FISHER

"i’ll keep you safe"

CONTENT - FLUFF, SOME ANGST

WARNINGS - PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THE FOLLOWING TOPICS AFFECT YOU <3 | self harm, mental health, mature descriptions/cussing

description - it’s another summer in cousins, youre about to indulge in your favorite fisher, except you’re feeling lost and tired. your anxiety is high, the depression has come back, and you’re just not up to it like you normally are. sweet boy jere might just be your one true escape from reality <3

JEREMIAH FISHER

I waited out on the porch for Y/N and the Conklin family to arrive. Y/N was Belly’s best friend, but was here every summer for the past 7 years without fail. She quickly became my best friend too. This was my favorite time of the year, and even more so this year because me and Y/N have been talking for the past few months. This summer, I was determined to ask her out, I wanted her to be mine.

Con stepped out and joined me, a smile plastered wide on his face, but his focus on his phone. I coughed, resulting in Con looking up at me.

"Belly texting you?" I questioned. He grinned, that was a yes. "I could tell."

"I’m just excited to see her, it’s been like a month." Connie said, a smile tugging at his lips with every word he said. "Better than me and Y/N, I haven’t seen her since New Year’s." I stated. Conrad just looked at me and shrugged.

"Well, maybe if you tell her how you feel.." Conrad started. I sighed and nodded. "I will, don’t worry." I said.

Conrad went back to his phone, we ended up sitting out on the stairs of the porch, waiting for their arrival. 15 minutes later, a familiar car had pulled up to the driveway.

"They’re here! Oh boys, there you guys are. Let’s greet them!" mom exclaimed, running past us. Me and Con exchanged grins as we watched the car unload with our favorite people. Connie went straight to Belly, while I high-fived Steven, catching up with his most recent mishaps.

"Dude, this summer is gonna be dope! Especially when my girl, Taylor, comes down for Belly’s birthday!" Steven stated excitedly, a smile was plastered all over his face. I nodded back in response, I had forgotten all about Tay and Steven. "Well man, it’s good to have you here. We should go out tonight, all of us." I suggested, earning a smirky approval from Steven.

While Steven was talking, I couldn’t help but notice Y/N clung to Laurel. That wasn’t normal, usually she would’ve saved me from Steven’s annoyance by now.

"Hey man, let me unpack real quick. I’ll catch you up on what’s been the move!" Steven yelled, lugging his suitcases into the house. I grinned at him, focusing my attention back on Y/N, who was not by Laurel’s side anymore. I was confused, where had she gone?

I jogged over to my mom and Laur, earning a wide smile from Laurel, cueing me to embrace her. "Jere! Look at how much you’ve grown! Ready to go off to college?" Laurel asked, a smile painted on her face the entire time. I smiled back, "Yup, dorming and everything." I responded. Laurel nodded, exchanging proud grins with my mom. I looked around, still no Y/N.

I was desperate to find her at this point, this just wasn’t like her to not mingle amongst us all.

"Hey, uh Laur, where did Y/N go? I saw her with you a few minutes ago, but now I can’t seem to find her. She didn’t even say hi." I said lowly, Laurel’s smile quickly fading.

That didn’t seem good.

"I’m sorry Jere, she’s just not feeling good right now. Her mom and Belly mentioned she hasn’t felt good the past few weeks. I wish I had more answers for you, but you’re her best friend. Maybe you can turn things around for her." Laurel explained. I was a little confused, was she sick? A small feeling of concern took over me. "She told me she was going to unpack, I’m sure she’s in her room somewhere. Don’t worry sweetheart, everything will be okay." my mom said, squeezing my arm with a small smile.

"Thanks, I’ll follow up with her." I said, giving them both hugs as I trailed off into the house. Everyone was occupied, I was focused on getting to Y/N as soon as I could.

Y/N

As I headed off from Laur and Susannah, I couldn’t help but feel all those emotions at once again. I wanted to cry, I wanted to ignore everyone and everything. The happiest part of the year felt so solemn to me, everything about my life felt so stagnant right now.

The past few weeks, my anxiety and depression have been terrible. I had yet to tell anyone why, even Belly, my bestest friend since the 4th grade. I couldn’t even look at Jeremiah, the boy I really really liked, my best friend.

I felt like the world was swallowing me every time I took a step. Getting to my room felt like a mission, but as soon as I shut the door, I broke into a million pieces.

Useless. A waste of space. You’ll never amount to anything.

The thoughts in my head kept running, my vision was blurred by the amount of tears I’d been shedding.

I knew how to silence them. A year ago, I would’ve said that this could never help anyone going through things, but here I was reaching for the small blade I kept tucked in my bag.

I stood up, facing my figure in the mirror. I had looked weak, all the nights I couldn’t sleep and the meals I was pushing away was showing as clear as day now. I fell to my knees sobbing, pulling up the sleeve of my sweater, taking in all the marks of my emotions. I sobbed so much, I wasn’t aware someone was with me.

JEREMIAH FISHER

As I approached her room, I heard light sobbing. My heart broke at the sound, and confusion rushed through my head. What the fuck was going on? I slowly opened the door to Y/N’s room, horrified at the sight I was seeing.

She was huddled over in front of her mirror, a blade small, but evident, in her right hand. Her left arm was scarred. Her sobs were consistent, the pain evident in each and every one of her cries.

I didn’t know whether to feel upset with any asshole who could’ve hurt our Y/N or sad at the idea that Y/N had been struggling in silence. I didn’t know any of this was going on, because every time we talked, she was nothing but happy and positive.

As soon as I saw her, I rushed over, grabbing the blade from her and kneeling down to her level. I pulled her into my chest quickly, rubbing the smalls of her back, embracing the scent of vanilla and flowers emitting from her hair.

I could tell she wasn’t aware of my presence prior, seeing she was just sobbing, hard now. Her body trembled in my arms, I was doing everything I could to get her to stop, but I knew she was feeling more than I’d probably ever be able to comprehend right now.

All I cared about, was her. Every cry broke me, and made me wonder why I hadn’t known. She was in pain and I didn’t know. Had I known, maybe there wouldn’t have been as many scars, maybe she wouldn’t feel so much right now. A million things were running through my head, but I just wanted to be there for her. I didn’t want her out of my sight, I wanted her in my arms, for as long as she needed.

"Y/N, shh. It’s Jeremiah. Calm down, what’s going on?" I cooed, carefully brushing away pieces of her hair, revealing her tear-stained face.

"I-it h-h-hurts." she choked, coughing as her sobs continued.

"What hurts? Y/N please talk to me. I’m right here, I promise I won’t leave your side. Please, just tell me what’s going on. I want to help you." I pleaded, desperate to know what could be hurting her so bad.

As soon as I knew who had done this to her, I was gonna beat their ass and ensure they wouldn’t have the privilege of seeing her ever again."

"Fuck, everything. E-everything fucking hurts Jere." she coughed out. I sat there silently, my full attention on her. "I was finally happy, I felt so good, so a-at peace. T-then I started comparing myself, to everyone. All the girls at school, all my friends, e-even the girls you’ve ever been with. A-and I fell so bad, I fell down a bad hole, of depression and anxiety. It-it’s been so bad, and the only thing that takes the p-pain away is cutting. I just-"

I slammed my lips on hers. I wanted to so badly take away the pain she was feeling. I wanted her to know that nobody, anyone in the world, could take away how special she was. To me, she was beyond everything I could ever want.

I didn’t expect her to kiss back, partly because I had caught her off guard, but she kissed back, hard.

The kiss was filled with passion, almost like a need from both of us. Our lips moved in perfect sync, the intensity rising between us both.

Her hands found ways to my chest, feeling my skin underneath my shirt. Calmly, without shaking, her hands made their way to my torso. My hands trailed down to her waist, softly grabbing her.

After a few moments, we finally pulled apart. We were breathing heavily, but her eyes looked at me pleadingly.

"Y/N, listen to me," I started, still rubbing her sides. "You are amazing, beautiful, everything I could ever fucking want. You mean everything to me, and nothing could ever change that. I know you’re hurting, but fuck, I love you so much that I will be here anytime you break down. I’ll hold you and remind you of what you mean to me. Please, I need you here, with me. Nobody else in this world could ever be you, I’m fucking crazy about you. I’ll keep you safe, that’s my promise."

A single tear dropped from her eye, but soon enough, a smile appeared on her face. Her eyes beamed with light, true light.

"I love you too, Jere. I want you, all the time. Please stay." she begged. A smirk pulled on my lips. I planted one soft kiss on her forehead.

"I’m here, baby. Don’t worry anymore." I said, nuzzling into her neck, letting her play with my hair and soak up my embrace. We stayed like that for a few moments, till she insisted taking a nap, in which I got under the covers and held her closely.

No matter how long she would need to heal for, I’d be here for every step.

~

a/n - first jere one-shot lol, s3 im ready for youuuuuu! im a team jere girly, but at the end of the day, i love the books, the show, the cast, all of it. hope you enjoyed! <3