#laughing so hard at how accurate this is
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iliss4 · 7 months ago
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@lu-lus-duckies so yeah
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crazy-fangirl2524 · 7 months ago
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Andrew Minyard puts on his black combat boots and black armbands. He wears his black hoodie because Andrew is not like other boys. His newest teammate Neil Josten has an aura of danger that Andrew knows he is better off not getting close. But Andrew cannot help it. He is like a moth drawn to a flame. Neil’s untamed auburn hair that is never styled yet it is messy in an effortless way and his big blue orbs that must have a lot of hidden secrets. Andrew knows he should not play with fire but with that toned body Andrew minyard can not stay away.
Whatever, not like Neil josten would notice him anyways. He is the outcast in his teams and no one likes him. Neil josten would not care about him.
Imagine Andrew’s surprise when Neil josten joins him on the roof and shares his secrets. Andrew is right, Neil has a very dark past that is even darker than Andrew’s. Neil is involved in the mafia! But because Andrew is not like other boys he does not care and promise to protect Neil even though Andrew probably cannot do anything if anything happens. Neil probably has to be the one to save Andrew.
Neil also turns out to be loaded and he buys Andrew a car when his was destroyed and Andrew cannot say no to a Maserati.
Everyone else on the team is so shock when super attractive good looking Neil josten will choose to be with someone like Andrew minyard but Neil does not care and growls at anyone that says anything bad about Andrew.
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kindnessoverperfection · 4 months ago
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ADHD really does put everything at equal levels of importance, huh? Like I'll have an email I need to write that'll take maybe 10 minutes, and getting that done will alleviate 6 months of stress. Then I'll notice a sock on the floor I need to put away. Then I'll get the strong conviction that it's up to me to cure cancer. And my brain will tell me that I need to do all of them at once, start and finish them all in the time span of 0 seconds, and my executive dysfunction will throw up its hands and do none of the above.
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th3e-m4ng0 · 10 months ago
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if Transformers, then One 🔥🤟
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myenterpriseisparked · 1 year ago
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Okay I understand where people are coming from with the "emotional suppression in Vulcans is learned not genetic" talk re: "Charades" but, consider......... the emotional suppression is muscle memory, and the aliens took away the mental muscles that remembered how to do it. It's a crude metaphor on my part, but that was the way I saw it.
Also consider: it's a sci fi show using extremely high-concept bullcrap science on a weekly basis and maybe nitpicking it is a fruitless endeavor because none of it is going to make sense otherwise and enjoying the ride for what it is is a much more enjoyable way to engage with this franchise. Sometimes you need to shrug and let dumb things happen and laugh.
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darlingboydiaz · 9 months ago
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one thing i find absolutely hilarious about 9-1-1 is the way they do flashbacks. like, yes, that's an episode set ten years ago, but also that's just ryan guzman in a dad cap. kenneth choi doesn't have the scar, but he looks the exact same. oliver stark's hair is down on his forehead instead of swept up. peter krause wears a different shirt. aisha hinds wears a wig.
and then there's angela bassett. they had an entirely different actress cast to show us how young athena is.
the dedication to make everyone play themselves, with that one exception. pure hilarity.
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reflectionsofgalaxies · 3 months ago
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so today went. well???
#started off strong by finding my classrooms with my friend#then we went to the mall to get school supplies#it was super chill and lots of fun#that friend is always like no-pressure but hella fun#then i went and hung out with ANOTHER friend#and there were tears bc they’re having a hard time rn and their brain is being a DICK to them#and they were able to talk things out and i’m not good at comforting people but i’m glad i was at least there for them#and then we watched a show#then something came up and ~I~ was the one crying#but that didn’t last long bc i tried to explain something and made reference to a quote#but had to stipulate that although it was a nice and fitting quote it wasn’t technically scientifically accurate#(that was a preface before i even started the quote)#and my friend laughed at me bc apparently interrupting myself to interject about the scientific accuracy of something I was quoting was#‘very [me]’#and then i went on a ramble about precocial vs altruitial species#*altricial#anyway it was kinda a mess but i think it was better for both of us?#this person used to be a person i told pretty much everything to do it feels good not feeling like i have to disguise certain things around#them#i also told them the only other big(ish) thing that i’ve ever kept from them#which maybe wasn’t ideal timing but it didn’t seem to bother them and it felt better not feeling like i was hiding anything from them#anyway long emotional day#i’m so wiped#i love my friends so fucking much#i cannot overstate how amazing they are and how much joy they deserve and how lucky i am to know them#personal
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ivan-fyodorovich-k · 4 months ago
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well lots to think about there
#I think...#it's good to come right out and say that turning back the clock is not the solution#i think that's accurate#the idea that you can have women kind of emerge as serious players in the last couple generations and then just snatch it away#not only is it cruel it's patently ridiculous#that said some of the concluding bits#I don't know#I wonder#is there an appetite for that kind of irenic posture?#it seems hard for one to adopt that yes-also posture you can be interested in women's liberation and also acknowledge this other problem et#he says something about how when you look at the 'traditional' way of thinking about gender issues and the traditional direction#you can't be surprised if all you have to offer men is to tell them how horrible they are or just to sign them up as allies#they just look elsewhere#i've felt that way about it for a long time#i've spent my whole life hearing about what utter garbage men are from every corner#not in the least from women telling me all the things Men have done to them#there's just no possible coherent response i can imagine#i've been increasingly worried as my sons get older that all i really have to offer them is an admonition not to be a rapist#and perhaps more broadly to get out of the way of women#this is the feeling among all the academics i know#put your tail between your legs submit smile no matter what they say about you and they do say some hurtful things and laugh#or else#again#this non-starter solution to just become some wild misogynist provocateur#I guess the stated goal of this guy's work isn't so much to establish solutions as it is facts#I do wonder what the solution could be#i sympathize with the desire to check out#oh I also cannot imagine any kind of positivity about fatherhood that would land or ring true or anything like that#however essential they find the presence of fathers to be#but that's another discussion
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coffeeandcalligraphy · 1 year ago
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rereading the worst scene I have ever written in my entire life and why did harrison have to drag lonan so hard here:
The sound of Lonan’s voice is like crashing into a concrete wall.
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hella1975 · 2 years ago
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yes im trying not to be so mean yes im working on my temper but under no section of my Healing Contract does it mention that these things must apply to my sister. in fact if you read the fine print it says im actively allowed to make her miserable. for my mental health
#she's so mean all the time like constantly telling me im stupid and shit#which probably didn't hit as hard before this econ degree but now every time she does it im just kinda like :/#and i laugh it off obvs bc am i fuck about to look put out by it#so she genuinely doesnt have any reason to stop bc ive not set any boundaries or communicated or yk. done anything correctly#i instead just let it frustrate the fuck out of me until one day im in a bad enough mood that i'll give as bad as she does#which i HATE bc as tough shit as she thinks she is i always think being mean - specifically the primary school way she does it -#is SO embarassing as a conflict method like girl 'you're stupid' is really the best you can come up with? bffr 😭#like when i say IM mean and SHE'S mean im talking about very different things#im mean less often than her but when i do it it's effective bc i literally catalogue people's insecurities and use them against them#like some fucking anime villian like it's actually uncomfortable to watch and i hate myself every time#whereas her way is effective bc it's all dumb comments ANYONE could make but she says them repeatedly until she wears you down#and of the two methods they're both shit but at least my way isn't cringe LMAO#so if i ever get so frustrated i revert to her method i just get v annoyed with myself like IM better than this she might not be but i am#and we've just been moving things in the garden with mum which is a flashpoint anyway#and me and my sister were just GOING at each other and it was all jokes until i said something she didn't like#and she was like 'what's your problem? it's fine when we're joking but you always take it too far' girl.#like i cannot accurately explain on here how ridiculous that statement is coming from HER#and if id said something actually horrible id get it but the convo was literally just#her: mum can i wear your watch for the chem ball coming up?#me: why do you need a watch for that?#her: ive got a dumb tan line on my wrist that i want to cover#me: i really dont think anyone is going to be looking at your wrists#THAT WAS IT LMFAO??? YOU HYPOCRITICAL LITTLE BITCH#ironically i had a field day with it like her saying that was the worst thing she could have done#latched onto it like a bloodhound fr my eyes must have lit up#i was like 'dont be such a baby' which is basically a fucking trigger word in our house#thought she was gonna hit me with a spade <3 peace and love on planet earth#godddddd i cant wait for her to go back to uni i HATE sharing a room i cannot escape her she's literally here as i type#i hope she knows im slagging her off to my niche online micro-community#hella goes home
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disillusionedjudge · 8 months ago
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{Hero Archetypes: The More... something version}
The Fallen Hero You are the Fallen Hero, a tragic embodiment of betrayal, vengeance, or perhaps a heart-wrenching love story turned awry. Whether exposed to corrupting influences, manipulated by deal-makers, brainwashed, extorted, blackmailed, or witnessing the destruction of sacred bonds, your descent into darkness is marked by profound sorrow and loss. You might have turned for the sake of greed. Yet within, a lingering spark of hope remains, compelling you to reluctantly extend assistance to the newcomers. Motivated by the sincere desire to shield them from the same tragic fate you endured, you find yourself driven to guide and protect, despite the shadows of your own past.
tagged by: @tarnishedxknight tagging: anyone!!
#quiz#((*taps fingers together* I have;;; thoughts on this#so this isn't. quite accurate for Gylfie as she does have morals and does act for what is good#which is going against Vayne and fighting for all of Ivalice instead of continuing to blindly go with Archadia's expansion#because she knows Vayne will destroy Ivalice in his constant need for power and Archadia will devour herself before she's full#so Gylfie never fell in the sense of turning on what is right and following Vayne without question#or continuing to believe that it was the destiny of the Empire to conquer all#with that all said - I can see her having a corruption arc and I think that'd be fun to explore heh#but also this is accurate with how Gylfie sees *herself*#I really should write a post about this at some point lol#but Gylfie doesn't believe herself to be a good person whatsoever. She used to believe Archadia was the best of the best for *years*#and felt it appropriate for the Empire she loved so much to continue her expansion and that Rozarria was 100% the enemy#and... never thought twice about the smaller kingdoms caught in the warpath#her mother's criticism of Archadia slowly began to chip at that but she wasn't disillusioned until Nabudis because *that*#was something she absolutely couldn't get behind no matter how she felt about the Empire. it was a horrific and brutal act that greatly#disturbed her and really snapped her out of it#also Ffamran leaving did make her start to question things a bit but not quite enough#anyway my point is: Gylfie doesn't believe herself to be a good person. she believes herself to be a *product* of war#to be too much like her father to be a good person#and that she's done so much harm that there is no room for her to be good#with that said she doesn't necessarily see herself as a horrible person but. definitely not a good one#and ABSOLUTELY doesn't see herself as *any* kind of hero - she'd honestly just laugh if someone called her one#but she had been brainwashed essentially and she had witnessed destruction of sacred bonds#and she has acted selfishly and she has done horrible things in the name of the Empire#but she also tries so hard to do *right* despite it all. she *wants* Archadia to be better#she *wants* Ivalice to remain whole and she does what she can to see Vayne defeated and Archadia changed for the better#her goal of becoming Judge Magister changes from her believing it was her birthright to her wanting to be one to make sure Archadia#stays on track and continues to do better under Larsa's rule because she knows he'll make the Empire *better*#and she's willing to do whatever she can to protect him and protect Archadia's future#but with that she may have to do things that wouldn't necessarily be considered *good*
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kingofmyborrowedheart · 2 years ago
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Would you order Pedro Pascal's Starbucks order (six shots of espresso in a Venti cup with ice) ?
I don’t drink coffee, so no. Everytime I think about his coffee order I get upset and I couldn’t tell you why.
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hinderr · 6 months ago
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#today on slightly concerning hinderr thoughts hidden in the tags of blank posts is; what if i'd deserved it#like. yknow. every bit of it. everything. i may not have earnt it back then but what if the things id done since and will do in the future#even out the scales and then i cant allow myself to stay the victim any more. what if ill make myself deserve it in the future. yknow#i laugh like my father and i draw like her and when i sit down and listen to any song thats slightly sad im reliving it all over again like#i cant put it down. i cant put it down. i keep picking it up and letting it pierce me through the chest again#took a uquiz earlier and it was the real poetic type yknow? one of the questions was 'where does it hurt?'#there wasnt an answer for 'my chest'. there wasnt an answer that accurately describes the tightness. that claustrophobic feeling like its#hard to breathe. like im miles beneath the ocean's surface. so what i chose instead was everywhere. and its-#this is a very irrational fear i realise. but. alas. here i am#god i want to say all i want is for someone to look at me the way id looked at her but i dont think i can withstand having all that#tenderness directed at me. oh god. is that how itd been for her too#i want to hate. i want to hate. i want to put this down and let it go#i want to tear my skin off my body and let my muscles and sinews breathe. i want to bleed out on the ground until every part of me thatd#been touched by her can just be left behind like an insignificant speck of gore on the ground and i can get up. made entirely anew#and for the love of fucking god finally let it go
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just-an-adventurer · 7 months ago
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Op your tags are so good that I just have to reblog them
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Asking BG3 characters to pick you up pads: Round 2
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cheer-nympho · 7 days ago
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Steve had been conned into chaperoning the kids to a ren faire.
Admittedly with very little resistance, but he was keeping that to himself. Once there and with their bags packed away into some apparently theme appropriate tents he had shrugged on some medieval casual clothes and…immediately lost track of all of them,
But a figure he did spot was a long haired Jester entertaining a small entourage with juggling,
Steve finds himself laughing slightly condescendingly at the jingling man. Why do people find juggling so impressive?
He picked it up straight away with some hackey sacks while bored between practices. He’s just good with his hands.
When he looks back up to get another glance in however, the jester isn’t perched on top of his little rock anymore and the crowd has merged with the other dweebs.
Steve stares at the empty space for a moment before a jingle right by his ear spooks him into turning around.
“Art thou not impressed by my amazing skills, your lordship?” The jester asks, swaying on his feet and causing the bells all over him to ping, grin wide and mocking.
And up close Steve notices one very important, very dangerous thing.
This court jester is really fucking hot.
He looks like an idiot, a nerd, a dweeb. Its hard not to in a pointy hat. But he also wore it too well, looked too perfect like that.
Steve notices the…is that..? Yes, the corset wrapping tightly around the mans waist, red and black diamonds decorating the sides and leading to small puffy shorts. His legs are covered in tight black leggings which should look ridiculous. It should.
An obnoxious cough and head tilt-jingle make Steve aware that he has been staring at the mans waist for way longer than was ‘bro code permitted’
He looks up with a wince, expecting a look of disgust ranging from mild embarrassment to punch-your-lights-out.
He was, instead, greeted by a smug and knowing smile. The red and black triangles painted over the mans eyes warped where the grin reached them. “Or maybe thou art impressed, but skills are not what draw thine eyes.”
Shit. Fuck. The stupid hot nerd is using stupid nerd speak on him. And Steves stupid nerd, apparently ‘very accurate’ pants are getting tighter. He needs to say something. Anything.
“You’ve got…bells.” Okay, maybe not anything. He used to be better at this shit.
He is rewarded with a wild, joyous laugh as the jester throws his head from side to side. “I do! Isn’t it amazing?The staff insisted on it so they could hear me coming.”
“It certainly makes an impression-“
“Eddie, names Eddie. And what does my lordship go by?”
“Steve is fine.”
“That he is…” The comment was punctuated by a less than subtle glance, almost a leer. “However, Fine Steve seems unimpressed with my merrymaking. As the official court jester, I cannot let that stand.” He stamps his foot, causing another cacophony of jingles.” “Therefore…”
“…Pick a card any card!” A pack of standard cards was presented to him with a flourish, but all he could do was roll his eyes.
“Come on, really? This shit is basic. All I have to do it watch your hands. You’ll swipe my card out and put it back in later, or mark it somehow.”
“Ooo his highness has it all figured out doesn’t he. Well then, princess, you have nothing to lose by picking a card, do you?” And that was…true. Plus he could maybe try to fix his previous fumble and try to claw a number out of this disaster.
So with another bitchy roll of his eyes, Steve plucks a card from the deck and hides it behind his palm. Two of Hearts.
Then out of nowhere… “You know, Stevie, if you think I’m pretty you can just tell me. I know the kingdom would approve not of a noble like yourself marrying a commoner like me, but they need know little of how we…” He begins to reshuffle the cards, motioning for Steve to place his chosen one back in before making some very obvious, very crude movements with his fingers. “…get to know each other in the meantime.”
He was going to die. In the middle of a nerd fest.
“Well, my lord…” Eddie continues, circling him while dragging a finger across his arms and shoulder blades before coming to a stop in front of him. A very bold hand takes Steves jaw and forces his head up, pretending to inspect something on his costume for any bystanders.
“If you would like some more…close up demonstrations…” He leans in tightly, still holding Steve’s jaw in a tight grip. “You can pay me a visit in staff cabin 23 tonight.” He strokes a piece of hair gently behind Steve’s ear before pulling out a card, as if from said ear.
Steve was glad that Eddie took the initiative to carefully pull his hand up and place the card into his palm, because currently Steve was too preoccupied with staring like a fish out of water into Eddies eyes. Everything about him was just so captivating, so alive.
Maybe that’s why he did little more than step forward aimlessly, with small grabby hands when Eddie pulled away. Before Steve could even process it, the bells and jingles had mingled back into the crowd. But that was…that was okay. Cause he could go to the…cabin?
But how was he supposed to- Oh. He looks down. On the card was a loosely clipped room key with a ‘23’ crudely engraved into the edge as if by a pocket knife.
The card itself, to his horror, was the Two of Hearts.
Shit.
He forgot to watch the fucking hands.
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brunchable · 1 month ago
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Moving In [18+]
《Beefy!Bucky Barnes x f!reader》
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Pairings: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader. Summary: You're moving into your brand new apartment with Bucky. Themes/Warning: FLUFF and then SMUT. Dirty Talk, Oral Sex in shower [M receiving], Breath play, Breeding Kink, Rough Sex, unprotected sex, a bit of Cumplay, pet names [baby, angel], Bucky talking Russian, Bucky watching you undress, Bucky washing your body. A/N: Enjoy. Also I only use goodle translate for the Russian translations so it might not be accurate okay?
Tags: @hzdhrtss @classicrebound @winterslove1917
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You’re standing outside your new apartment, staring at the couch wedged halfway through the doorframe. Bucky is on the other side, trying not to scowl too hard, but it’s obvious he’s moments away from snapping.
“Remind me again… why this couch?” he grumbles, giving the couch another push, his biceps straining against his shirt. You can’t help but admire how ridiculous he looks—like an action hero struggling against a villain that won’t budge.
“It’s cute!” you call from the doorway, trying to sound casual.
“It’s a tank,” he mutters, adjusting his grip. “It’s like you went into the store and said, ‘Show me the one that can take out a wall.’”
You stifle a giggle and shrug. “Hey, it’s got character. You love character, right?”
Bucky raises an eyebrow at you, glancing between the couch and you. “Character? Babe, this couch has more attitude than I do.”
You smirk and cross your arms. “Mmm I think it’s 50/50.”
He doesn’t even dignify that with a response, pushing the couch again with a grunt. After what feels like an eternity, he manages to wedge it through the door and into the living room. He flops onto it, completely spent, his chest heaving.
“I swear,” he pants, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, “if we ever move again, I’m burning this thing.”
“Oh, relax,” you say, walking over to flop down next to him, throwing your legs across his lap. “You’re just cranky because the couch won.”
He gives you an incredulous look. “Cranky? Me?” Then, with an exaggerated groan, he places a hand on his chest. “Oh no, not at all. I love breaking my back for this thing. Love it.”
You poke his ribs, and he twitches. “Don’t be dramatic. I thought you were tough.”
“I am,” he says, sitting up with a mock glare. “But that couch is no joke.”
You snicker, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Well, now that the couch is in, we can start painting!”
Bucky’s expression drops like a rock. 
“Painting?” He points to the walls like they personally offended him. “What’s wrong with these walls?”
“They’re beige, Bucky. Beige. Who chooses beige?” You hop up, grabbing the paint roller with a bright smile. “Come on! I picked a beautiful sky blue for the feature wall.”
“I miss the couch already,” Bucky grumbles but stands up to help.
Soon enough, you’re both in old clothes, standing in the middle of the room with paint trays and rollers. Bucky, as expected, is focused, serious, and meticulous, carefully applying each stroke to the wall like it’s a mission briefing.
Meanwhile, you’re rolling the paint on a little haphazardly, watching him out of the corner of your eye, trying not to laugh. He’s so serious—too serious for something like this.
“Bucky,” you call out sweetly, taking a step toward him.
“Hm?” he grunts, still focused.
“Hold still.”
Before he can react, you swipe your paintbrush across his nose, leaving a perfect streak of blue on his face.
He blinks, stunned for a moment, his mouth hanging open. Then he narrows his eyes at you, his voice dangerously calm. “You didn’t.”
“Oh, but I did,” you say with a grin, taking a step back.
Bucky doesn’t say anything for a second, but the look on his face tells you everything—you’ve started something. Suddenly, he grabs his roller, slowly dipping it into the paint tray, his gaze locked onto you.
“Bucky—” you start, backing up.
“I’m warning you,” he says, lifting the roller like a weapon. “You’re not walking out of here clean.”
You squeal, trying to dodge as he lunges at you, but he’s faster—much faster. With one swift move, he swipes the roller across your arm, leaving a giant blue streak on your sleeve. You burst out laughing, and before you know it, both of you are chasing each other around the room, paint flying everywhere.
“Truce!” you yell, holding your hands up, but Bucky only smirks.
“No way,” he says, catching you around the waist and pulling you close. “You started this.”
Before you can protest, he swipes his finger across your cheek, leaving another streak of blue paint. You gasp and laugh, wriggling out of his grasp, but not before leaving a handprint on his shirt.
“You’re ruthless,” you say between giggles, wiping paint off your face.
“Says the woman who wiped paint on my nose,” he fires back, but he’s grinning now, looking much more relaxed than before.
Finally, you both collapse onto the plastic covered couch, your clothes and skin now covered in paint smudges, breathing heavily. Bucky rests his head on the back of the couch, glancing over at you with a soft smile. His nose is still blue, and he hasn’t even bothered to wipe it off.
“I can’t believe you picked a fight with me,” he says, his tone playful.
“I didn’t pick a fight,” you say, smiling. “I picked a paint war.”
He shakes his head, chuckling. “You’re lucky I love you.”
You lean over, kissing his cheek. “Yeah, I am.”
And there you are, sitting together on your way-too-large couch, paint everywhere, and Bucky with a sky-blue nose, looking happier than you’ve seen him in a while.
× × × ×
After what feels like hours of cleaning up paint splatters and arranging your oversized couch (which Bucky still glares at from time to time), you both flop back onto it, utterly spent. The place looks halfway decent now—painted walls, the couch finally in its rightful place—and both of you are starving.
You sit cross-legged on the couch, with takeout boxes from your favorite Chinese restaurant spread out on the coffee table in front of you. Bucky’s already digging into his lo mein like it’s the best meal of his life. You, however, are eyeing your sweet and sour pork, but your gaze keeps flicking over to Bucky’s food.
He catches your glances and raises an eyebrow, fork halfway to his mouth. 
“What?”
You quickly look back at your own box. “Nothing.”
He narrows his eyes suspiciously and takes another bite. You make a show of enjoying your food, but out of the corner of your eye, you keep stealing glances at his lo mein.
“Seriously, what’s going on?” Bucky asks, pausing mid-bite. “You’re doing that thing again.”
“What thing?” you ask innocently, poking your sweet and sour pork with your chopsticks.
“That thing where you pretend you don’t want my food but keep staring at it like it’s the last meal on Earth.”
You bite your lip, stifling a smile, and look at your chicken again. “I’m not staring. I’m just… admiring.”
“Admiring?” Bucky’s voice is filled with playful disbelief. “You hate lo mein.”
“I do not!” you protest, but your eyes flick back to his box of food.
Bucky leans back on the couch, a smirk forming on his lips as he watches you. “Uh-huh. So, you don’t want to swap?”
You freeze, pretending to look offended. “Why would I want to swap? I love sweet and sour pork. It’s… my favorite.”
“Uh-huh,” he repeats, his smirk growing as he scoops another big bite of lo mein into his mouth. “Because it really looks like you’re enjoying that pork.”
You poke the pork again, this time with a little less enthusiasm. You’ve had sweet and sour pork a million times. Meanwhile, Bucky’s lo mein looks warm and savory, and you swear he’s eating it like it’s better than yours on purpose.
“Okay, fine!” you finally admit, throwing your hands up. “I want your lo mein. Happy?”
Bucky laughs, his deep voice filling the room. “I knew it! Why don’t you just order what I order?”
“Because I like variety,” you say, crossing your arms. “But your food always looks better than mine.”
He snorts, shaking his head, before pushing his lo mein box toward you. “Go ahead, have at it. I knew this was coming.”
You take the box without hesitation, immediately diving into it like you’ve been waiting for this moment your whole life. 
“Thank you.”
Bucky watches you with a smile, then reaches for your untouched sweet and sour pork. 
“Fine. I’ll take this. Not that you ever really wanted it.”
You both eat for a few minutes, but Bucky’s watching you again, this time with a curious expression.
“What now?” you ask, pausing mid-bite.
“I just don’t get it,” Bucky says, waving his fork around. “You always do this. You order something different, then you want what I have.”
You shrug, swallowing a mouthful of noodles. “It’s a girlfriend thing. We like to try your food.”
Bucky chuckles, shaking his head. “You don’t try it—you take it.”
“I can’t help it!” you laugh. “You always pick the better food.”
He rolls his eyes, but there’s a fond smile on his face. “Next time, just tell me what you want. I’ll order two of it.”
You smile sweetly at him. “Where’s the fun in that?”
Bucky groans but doesn’t stop eating. After a few more bites, though, you notice him eyeing his old box—the one now sitting in your lap.
“What’s wrong?” you ask, a grin spreading across your face.
“Nothing,” he grumbles, glancing between his pirk and the lo mein you’ve commandeered. “Just… thinking maybe I miss my lo mein.”
You smirk and nudge the box toward him. “Wanna swap back?”
“Maybe,” he mutters, but you can tell he’s holding back a smile.
Without another word, you swap your food again, and Bucky’s face immediately brightens as he digs back into his lo mein. You laugh, shaking your head, realizing this is going to be a never-ending cycle of food-stealing whenever you two order takeout.
As you both settle in, Bucky looks over at you, this time with a soft smile, no teasing, no complaints. 
“You know,” he says, his voice a little quieter, “this whole moving in thing… not so bad.”
You smile back, your heart warming at his words. “Not so bad,” you agree, leaning into his side.
And as the two of you sit there, eating takeout on your too-big couch in your freshly painted apartment, you realize there’s no one else you’d rather steal food from for the rest of your life.
The apartment is finally feeling like home, and the evening sun filters through the windows, casting a warm glow over the room. Bucky’s arm is draped casually around your shoulders, his fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on your arm.
You’ve got your phone in your hand, lazily scrolling through TikTok while Bucky relaxes next to you. Every so often, you let out a soft chuckle or grin at a funny video, completely absorbed in your scrolling.
Bucky isn’t saying much, just watching you quietly with that soft, fond expression he always gets when he thinks you aren’t paying attention. He likes these moments—when you’re just being yourself, not thinking too hard about anything. It’s one of the things he loves most about you.
Suddenly, you laugh out loud, covering your mouth as a TikTok meme plays on your screen. 
“Oh my god,” you snicker, turning to Bucky with a mischievous smile. “This is literally you.”
He raises an eyebrow, intrigued. “What? What is?”
You bite back another laugh and replay the TikTok, showing him the video. The meme says: "My boyfriend every time any part of my body touches him" followed by the guy on the video saying, "I may or may not have a boner right now."
Bucky stares at the screen for a moment, then glances back at you, his expression deadpan. 
“Really?”
You burst out laughing, nodding enthusiastically. “Yes! This is so you!”
Bucky groans, rubbing his hand over his face, but there’s a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “That’s not me.”
“Yes you are!” you tease, poking him in the side. “You’re exactly like that. Every time.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “Not every time.”
You give him a look, arching an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”
Bucky smirks, leaning in a little closer. “Okay, fine. Maybe every time. But it’s not my fault. You’re… hot.”
You laugh again, nudging him playfully. “Uh-huh, sure.”
He catches your hand, pulling you closer, his smirk turning into a full grin. “What do you expect? You’re walking around here, looking all cute and stealing my food. What am I supposed to do?”
You roll your eyes, trying to hold back your smile. “Blame me for everything.”
He shrugs, still grinning. “I’m just saying, it’s a natural reaction.”
You shake your head, trying to keep a straight face, but you can’t help it. You burst into laughter again, leaning into him as you laugh. Bucky watches you, his expression softening, his hand moving to rest on your thigh as he pulls you even closer.
“See?” you say, still laughing, pointing at him. “Exactly like the TikTok!”
Bucky rolls his eyes dramatically but doesn’t bother denying it. “Fine, fine. You got me.”
You grin triumphantly, leaning your head on his shoulder as you settle back into his side. “I knew it.”
For a moment, neither of you says anything, just enjoying the comfortable silence. Then, with a small laugh, Bucky leans down, his voice low and teasing in your ear. “For the record… I may or may not have a boner right now.”
You gasp, swatting his chest. “Bucky!”
He laughs, pulling you into his lap and wrapping his arms around you, his grin wide and completely unrepentant. 
“Hey, you started it!”
You groan, shaking your head as you push yourself out of his lap, a smile tugging at your lips. 
“I don’t know… I think I’m going to have a shower,” you say, standing up and stretching.
Bucky raises an eyebrow, looking intrigued. “Oh, yeah?”
You give him a playful smirk. “Yeah. Alone.”
His face twists into a dramatic pout.
“Alone? C’mon, we should save on the water bill. Be responsible adults,” he says with a mock-serious tone, raising his eyebrows like it’s a valid point. He grins, leaning back on the couch, crossing his arms. “Just looking out for our finances.”
“Right. Well, I think we’ll survive a little higher water bill,” you tease as you make your way toward the bathroom.
He sighs dramatically. “Guess I’ll just sit here being financially responsible all by myself.”
You pause in the doorway, throwing a look over your shoulder. “Good luck with that.”
Bucky smirks, not giving up. “Last chance. Think of the planet.”
You roll your eyes but chuckle, finally giving in. “Alright, fine! Hurry up!”
Bucky’s face lights up, and he pumps his fist in victory. 
“Yes!” He jumps off the couch, pulling his shirt over his head from behind in one smooth motion, already halfway undressed as he strides toward you with a triumphant grin.
Your eyes instinctively drift down his body as he walks toward you, taking in the way his muscles shift with every step, his abs defined and his chest broad. He tosses his shirt aside, and you can’t help but admire the view, your cheeks heating slightly as you watch him.
When he reaches you, Bucky’s hands move swiftly to his belt and the buttons on his jeans, undoing them with ease. His fingers are quick and sure, and he glances up at you, clearly amused by your reaction. He knows exactly what he’s doing as he works to undress, his grin widening when he sees you watching.
“You’re ridiculous,” you mutter, leaning against the doorframe, trying to play it cool despite the way your gaze lingers a little longer than intended.
“Responsible,” he corrects with a wink, kicking off his shoes. “Environmentally conscious. And now, efficient.”
You snicker, stepping aside to let him through. “Alright, Mr. Efficient, you’re on a time limit.”
Bucky grins, already slipping into the bathroom. “Don’t worry, I’m a super soldier. Fast is kind of my thing.”
As you stood shut the door behind you, you suddenly felt a sharp smack on your ass. You gasped, turning around to find Bucky grinning behind you.
“Oh my god, Bucky!” you exclaimed, but he was already past you, reaching in to turn the shower on like it was the most normal thing in the world.
He glanced back, his eyes filled with playful mischief. “What?” he asked innocently. “You love it.”
You rolled your eyes, trying not to laugh. “Can you not watch me?”
Bucky leaned casually against the wall, crossing his arms, his eyes fixed on you with a smirk that made your stomach flip. Slowly, he licked his bottom lip, his gaze drifting over your body like he was committing every inch of you to memory.
“Why not? I’ve seen this a million times,” he teased, his voice low and teasing. “Besides, I like watching you take everything off.”
His eyes lingered on the curve of your waist, traveling up to your bare shoulders, then back down again, soaking in every detail. The way his lips tugged into a smile when you caught him staring sent heat flooding through you.
Your cheeks flushed, but you tried to act unbothered, peeling off your clothes while fully aware of his intense gaze following your every move. You could feel the way his eyes moved over your skin, taking in the sight of your legs, the dip of your back, and the way you tried to casually brush off his attention.
Finally, the water was hot enough, steam swirling around the bathroom. As you reached for the shower door, Bucky’s hand shot out, tugging you toward him and into the shower, his grip firm but gentle.
“Bucky!” you yelped as the warm water cascaded over both of you. His arms wrapped around you from behind, pulling you against his chest, the heat of his body almost matching the warmth of the water.
He kissed the back of your neck, his voice a low, amused rumble in your ear. “Told you. Saving water.”
Taking the soap, he worked up a lather in his hands and pulled your back against his chest. He soaped your breasts, massaging them and pinching your nipples. You wound your arms around his head, giving you your weight and full access to your luscious body.
Bucky reached for your clit, stroking and circling with two fingertips, loving the way you responded to him. Never had a lover been so in tune with what he needed, your cravings a perfect match to his own. He felt like a god every time you gave in. Soon you were panting, your ass rocking against the semi-erect cock between his legs.
Bucky maneuvered you into the spray, letting the warm water cascade down your skin, droplets running down your shoulders and back as you settled into the heat. He stayed close behind you, soaping his own body while you soaked beneath the shower.
Your gaze flickered, darting between his legs as he washed his cock and balls, the sight almost too tempting. Without thinking, you started to reach for him, fingers trailing toward his groin.
“Later,” Bucky rasped, his voice thick with desire. He caught your wrist gently, his lips brushing your ear as he added, "In fact, I planned on fucking you all night." 
You shivered at his words, heat pooling low in your stomach as his breath tickled the sensitive skin of your neck. 
"You're not actually worried about the water bill, are you?" you teased, glancing back at him with a smirk, trying to break the tension, though your pulse was racing.
Turning away, you began to wash your hair, lathering the shampoo into your scalp. But before you could finish, Bucky's hands reached for yours, gently moving them aside. 
"Let me," he murmured, his fingers threading through your hair as he started massaging your scalp with the perfect amount of pressure, and you moaned. Bucky chuckled softly, the sound went straight to his dick.
"Sovsem ni kapli," he said, his voice rumbling low. 
"What?" you chuckled, realising he'd spoken Russian on purpose, knowing it turns you on. "You're doing that thing where you talk in Russian.”
He grinned, his lips ghosting over your ear. "Not even a little."
You tilted your head back slightly, feeling his fingers still working through your hair. "Are you teaching me Russian?"
“Maybe," he said, a playful edge to his voice, “Ya lyublyu tebya” I love you.
“Ya lyublyu tebya,” you repeated in an accent far more non-russian accent than Russian.
“You’ll learn. You will be ready to tell me to fuck you in Russian very soon.” 
“Teach me how to say that,” you said as you moved under the spray to rinse your hair.
“Pozhaluysta, trakhnya menya. Ya tvoya malen'kaya shlyushka.”
“You said more than just ‘fuck me.’” 
He grabbed your waist and pulled your wet body flush to his. Bucky said, ‘Please fuck me. I am your little slut.’” 
“Oh, my God—you nasty.” You fingers threaded through his hair, your eyelids hooded. “Why is that so hot?” 
“Because you like it dirty, just like I do.” Bucky pushed you against the tile and ate at your mouth, devouring you as he thrust his tongue inside. You kissed him back, meeting him eagerly, and his balls were heavy again with the need to have you.
Bucky reluctantly tore his mouth off of yours and said, “You know what I want.” 
You wasted no time in dropping to your knees on the slick tile. He didn’t move, so you shuffled forward until the tip of his erection was within reach. You opened your mouth and sucked on the head, using your tongue on the underside. 
“Argh—that’s my girl,” His palm swept over your wet hair.
You pushed your face toward his pelvis, taking more of him. He filled your mouth, so thick and smooth, and you could taste the precum leaking from the tip. You closed your eyes, savouring the sensation, loving the power this gave you over his pleasure.
He rocked his hips, fucking your mouth, and you took it eagerly, relaxing your throat to keep from gagging. You made sure your lips stayed tight on his shaft, and you fluttered your tongue until he grunted. 
“Eyes up here.”
You looked up at his face, which was taut with lust, his pupils wide. Bucky began muttering something under his breath, which was something he does to keep himself going for longer. 
By the time he finished, you were panting, more turned on than you could stand. You started to reach between youe legs, ready to make yourself come, but his fingers twisted in your hair. 
“Not yet. Put your hands behind your back.” 
You obeyed and his nostrils flared at your compliance. “Who do you belong to, baby?”
You knew he wanted an answer, so you started to release him. He shook his head and held you in place. “No, don’t pull off. With your mouth full of my dick, tell me who you belong to.” 
Holding his gaze, you gave a garbled answer around the rigid flesh. “Mmmu.” 
Satisfaction twisted his expression and he pushed deep, making you gag. “That’s right. What a good girl you are. I think I’ll reward you.” 
You groaned low in yourthroat, and the vibrations made him shudder and his eyes rolled, breaking your eye contact. You moaned again, this time intentionally and watched his rapturous expression, revelling in the sudden power. The more he growled and the harder he gripped your hair the more voraciously you tried to devour him with your tongue.
Bucky pumped his hips against your mouth and the only thing keeping you steady was his grip on your head as you felt him stiffen even more against your tongue, your mouth followed, moving wetly back up the shaft. You let out more moans before he gasped and cried out thickly. You felt a pressure in your mouth and it was suddenly filled. You nearly gagged and had to swallow several times to keep from choking, finally pulling away with a gasp to see the remainder still leaking from the tip. You blinked up at him taking heavy breaths.
Turning off the water, he stepped back and his cock fell out of your mouth. He raised a hand to brush the hair from your face and cupped your cheek in one hand. His hand almost practically engulfed you but was extremely gentle, almost tender.
“Up.”
After you rose, he pointed behind you. “Go to the bed. Lay down, arms above your head and legs spread.” 
You didn’t bother towelling off as you left the bathroom. Instead, you stretched out on the cool sheets, the water drying on your skin and making you shiver. Your clit was swollen and begging for attention.
Bucky strode into the bedroom, his glorious cock bobbing with every step. He was going to shove that monster inside your pussy and you couldn’t fucking wait. 
Putting one knee on the bed, he reached between your legs. “Fuck, you’re so wet. Did my Russian turn you on?” 
He shoved two fingers inside you and you gasped, you upper half bowing. “God, yes!” 
“Is this pussy empty? Do you need me to fill it?” He pumped his hand, giving you a taste of the friction you craved. “Beg me. ‘Trakhni menya zhestko, soldat.’”
You dug your fingernails into the headboard. “Trakhni menya zhestko, James!”
“Fuck,” he ground out. “I want to edge you for hours, but I can’t—let’s just go for round two.” In a flash he was on his knees between your thighs, lining up at your entrance and pushing in. The pressure was a lot to take. 
You weren’t sure you were one hundred percent ready. “Oh, shit.” 
“Shh,” he said, smoothing his palms down your legs. “You can take me, baby, you always do.” 
He watched as his cock spread your pussy open, his hips moving slowly, like he wanted you to feel every centimeter. Your eyes nearly rolled back in your head. “So good, Bucky. You’re killing me.”
He dragged a hand up your hip, along your ribs and over a breast, until he reached your throat. 
“No, I’m not killing you . . . but I easily could?” Bucky jokes, his fingers covered your neck and squeezed, not enough to cut off your air but enough to cause your eyes to pop open. He was smirking down at you. 
“You’re alive at my mercy, angel.” As if on cue, a flood of moisture coated his cock just then and he tunneled farther inside, now in almost all the way. He squeezed your throat a little harder. “You like that, don’t you? When I play with you like this.”
Your lips parted with the force of your breaths, your pulse throbbing beneath his hand. He slid in as deep as he could go, his cock fully seated and taking up all the room inside you. You wriggled your hips, trying to urge him on. You needed to come so badly. 
“Please, baby, you have to move.”
Instead, he held still and stared at you. “I am going to choke you while I fuck you.” 
Panic filled your chest. You weren’t ready for those kinds of games. That was next level shit. “No, wait. Don’t hurt me—take it easy.”
“Angel,” he crooned, “Of course, I will not hurt you. Ya tebe obeshchayu.” I promise you.
He gave a gentle thrust of his hips. “I am going to squeeze the sides of your throat. It will make you lightheaded and your orgasm will be a thousand times more intense.”
You knew many people were into breath play and strangulation, but it seemed dangerous to you. 
You swallowed. “O-okay? I trust you.”
“Don’t worry, I know how to do this correctly. You will love it.” He stared at his hand on your throat, then withdrew and rammed into your pussy, and the friction sent shockwaves through your limbs. He growled deep in his throat.
“Baby, shouldn’t we have a safe word? Or . . . .” your words died when he gave a rough thrust, rocking you body, and you cried out. “Oh, yes! More of that.”
“Nah. No need for a safe word. The fear and danger will make it more exciting for you.” Bucky winked, pulling almost all the way out then ramming back inside you.
“Fu—ck. It’ll just make it more exciting for you.”
Bucky only chuckled and he began stroking in and out, his hand resting on your throat. He wasn’t applying any real pressure, just building the tension, making you wonder when he would start, and for some reason the uncertainty made it hotter. Sweat broke out on your forehead, your body already primed to come, so you rocked your hips, trying to hit the right spot to send you over the edge.
“Look at me,” he ordered. 
You cracked your eyelids and read the intent in his gaze. Fuck, was I ready? I really liked the feel of his hand on my throat.
You nodded. 
As he started thrusting back into his rhythm, he squeezed the sides of your throat, pressing. You never looked away from him, unsure what you were feeling as the blood flow into your head slowed. He watched your face. 
“There you go, Angel. It feels so good, doesn’t it?” 
The fear and excitement sent you spiraling. “Oh, God,” you said, now lightheaded.
He rode you hard, rocking the headboard into the wall, and you inner muscles tightened around his dick. 
He growled. “I can feel you. Fuck!”
He released your neck, and what followed was a rush you’d never experienced in all your life. Your pussy clamped down as the orgasm slammed into you. Yoir hoarse shout echoed throughout the room, and you dug your fingernails into his arms as the climax went on and on.
Buck was pressing deep inside against your cervix, this time harder, and the pressure made you cramp. One of his hands has now begun toying with your breast, creating more of those warm and blessed shivers of sensation.
“You’re so hot when you take it.” He said brushing his knuckles against the undersides of you breast. 
“Yeah? Well you better not fucking pull out.” You demanded, insensibly rocking you hips against his, and pressing your breast into his hand.
“You’d like that wouldn’t you? You're just going to keep having babies over and over. Don't let any of the cum out of your pussy when I come. We need it all in there so you can do your job. That's all you need to be. Just a little baby maker for me.” He pinched one of your nipples, a little hard, but you instantly wanted him to do it again.
"Oh—fuck, yes! I’m going to keep it all in for you, baby. Now why don’t you find a more...productive use for...your dirty mouth?” You looked at him with glazed eyes, and he gave you a heart stopping look in return.
"As you wish, angel." And with that his mouth was at your devouring your mouth, your throat, and finally was at your breasts. You rewarded him with an approving squeeze at the back of his neck, and his cock as he ravaged you.
He pumped into you more aggressively now, and you ground your hips against him, each shock sliding further from more pleasure. You cried out, clutching at him and wrapping your legs tightly around him, but he continued to thrust into you with greater need, moving more and more deeply, his tongue all over your body. 
Again the pain mingled with pleasure until it all blurred into a white heat. It was as if you felt everything and nothing. You had trouble discerning where one caress began and another violent thrust ended. 
You felt him moving above you, his muscles straining beneath your hands and at your mouth as you licked and nipped at his rough skin feeling an undeniable urge to feel and taste every part of him. You felt Bucky’s moans as much as you heard them, vibrating through your body as he pressed against you, covering you and burying himself inside you. He was everywhere, and it felt as if there was nothing left of the world beyond you two straining bodies.
You felt the knot in the pit of your stomach tightening once more and you rocked your hips faster against him, grunting as your bodies slammed together. 
“Ohhh—my—god, Bucky! YES. Put that hot load in my unprotected pussy.”
Your hips meet his thrusts coming closer and closer with each jarring shock. Bucky laced his fingers through your loose hair and gripped you again, leveraging himself into you and sending a blinding heat through you making your hips jerk beneath him. 
“Oh—fuck, I’m going to put a baby inside you now. Can you feel how deep I am inside you?” Grunting from the effort, he held you down as his hips slammed into you, a man possessed, and not even ten strokes later he was coming, his back arching.
His own cry tore from his throat as you shook beneath him, and you felt yourseld suddenly filled, if that were any more possible, and was overcome by a series of wrenching spasms that made you clutch at his skin and gasp for air. You twitched delirious as the throbbing inside of you sent hot waves of pleasure and relief through your trembling body.
Bucky didn’t immediately pull out. Instead, he hung his head, closed his eyes, and stirred his hips, like he wanted to prolong your connection. You could feel his come leaking out of you, our combined juices soaking the mattress. 
You reached down as he slowly pulled out, the emptiness causing you to shiver. You reached down and tried to extract as much some as you could by scooping it out of your with two fingers, eyes locked on Bucky while you seductively lick his come off your fingers.
“Fuck, Y/N.” Finally, he rolled off you and sprawled onto the bed.
Your head rested on his arm, your cheek pressed against the hard ridge of his chest. You slid a hand along the groove, trailing it down to his stomach and pressed your hand against it, exploring the firm lines of the knotted muscles with your finger tips. 
“Are you trying to get me hard again? Because it’s working.”
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