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arlana-likes-to-write · 11 months ago

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Not Like I'm in Love with You

Summary: For the longest time, it was you and Maria. A package duo. A dynamic team. Agent Hill and Gaia. But you were always just friends, nothing more. Until a mission goes wrong forces Maria to admit her feelings for you.

Warnings: jealously, angst with a happy ending, surgery, medically induced coma, bomb, eco terrorist?, reader is enhanced, mention of drinking and sexual activity, love confession

Word Count: 5.2k

“My savior,” Natasha groaned as you handed the redhead a coffee and a breakfast sandwich. She moaned, taking a sip of the coffee. “I could marry you right now.” You shook her head at her antics and passed the rest of the goodies to the team. Clint had his feet on the table and head thrown back, and a pair of sunglasses covered his eyes. He grunted out a thanks when he set his order down. The rest of the team was in different states of hungover, barely muttering a greeting. You chuckled.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have gone out on a school night,” you teased, sitting down at your desk so you could eat your own. Clint groaned.

“You aren’t my mom,” You felt like it.

“Where’s the boss?” You questioned.

“Probably untangling herself from the blonde she went home with,” May mumbled, holding a cold towel to her forehead. Why did your stomach drop when she said that? The team had the right to party after a job well done. The case had a breakthrough, and they wanted to go out. Like always, you refused, you weren’t much of a drinker, and you didn’t trust yourself drunk with your abilities. You were an Eco-empathy, allowing you to connect deeply with the environment and sense, understand, and manipulate the natural world. SHIELD nicknamed you Gaia, and your fellow agents called you various Earth-related names. You and Maria were just friends, right? When Fury picked her as Deputy Director, she prompted you alongside her. You were her second in command; while she went out in the field, you stayed behind to run point. It was how you two operated a well-oiled machine. Co-workers. Best friends at most. Like you’ve been, right? Natasha raised an eyebrow at you.

The door opened, and Maria walked in. “Ah, she emerges from her walk of shame,” Natasha teased. Maria flipped her off and thanked you with a smile for her breakfast.

“Ain’t nothing shameful what I did last night,” Natasha cringed. Thankfully, Maria’s back was to you, so she missed the frown on your face. The redhead saw it. “Alright,” she said. “What’s the plan?”

“You missed a hell of a party,” Maria said as you handed your mock battle plan for the upcoming mission. It would go through her than Fury before it was green lite; the more eyes, the better when it came to people’s lives.

“All these years you’ve known me, you know clubs aren’t my scene,” you sat on the edge of her desk. There was a picture of you and her during your SHIELD graduation. “Besides, how long were you there until an innocent woman fell under your spell?” You teased, but it didn’t feel enjoyable in your mouth.

“She wasn’t so innocent when I had my way with her,” you faked a gag. It was typical behavior between you two to talk about the woman you brought home; more times than not, Maria had the stories. But why did you feel like you could throw up right now?

“I can tell by that hickey on your neck,” you pushed the bruise, and she squatted your hand away. She was your ride-or-die. So you weren’t jealous.

“What is your schedule like today?” You sighed, looking at your nails on your left hand.

“Leading a training with May, a meeting with Phil, and I think Clint wants to go over some new trick arrows,” you rattled off. It was a typical busy day for you. Maria nodded.

“Do you want to go get lunch? We could go to that Mexican place you like.” That sounded nice, and you liked the burritos and mock tails they had. You sighed.

“How about a ring check? Nat asked if I could get lunch with her today,” Maria liked to joke that you made her soft. She rarely held up the mask to hide her emotions around you. There was no need. Now you saw the mask slowly creep up to hide her true feelings.

“Yeah, of course, she forced a smile. “Now get out of here before I write you up,” she teased. Rolling your eyes, you jumped off her desk.

“See you later, Ria.”

“Stay safe out there, Willow.” You rolled your eyes at the nickname but her office to start your day.

“You love her,” Natasha said as you took a bite of your sandwich. You choked on it, and the Black Widow smirked at your misfortune. You rubbed your chest to help the food pass and took a sip of water.

“I have no idea what the hell you are talking about,” she took a fry from your plate and popped it in her mouth.

“Please, Cherry, you’ve been in love with Maria since I’ve known you, and according to Phil, it’s been since the academy,” you gasped.

“Why is this office gossip?” You asked.

“We have to talk about something,” she shrugged. SHIELD agents were moths to a flame when it came to gossip. “Don’t worry, we won’t discuss it with Maria.” That was not reassuring.

“Look, Maria and I are friends. We have been forever; the way I feel is black and white.” You were curious to know if Natasha believed you. Hell, you barely believed yourself. It wasn’t like you stayed up at night overthinking the possibility of you and Maria has a couple. Nah, that would be dumb.

“Are you sure?” Yeah, it was fine. It was cool. It wasn’t like every time she talked about having sex with some random hookup at a bar, it made your stomach burn with jealousy because you wanted her body all to yourself. You wanted her more than anyone else. It’s not like you were in love with her.

“Shit,” you mumbled, slumping back into her hair. Natasha smiled, sipping on her chocolate milkshake.

“Glad you admitted it,” you hadn’t admitted anything. What was she talking about? “So, are you going to tell her?”

“No!” You shrieked, and you drew the attention of the other patrons. You felt your body warm up due to the extra eyes. Natasha chuckled. “God, no. I can’t. It will ruin everything. Besides, I doubt she feels the same.”

“She does.” The Black Widow glanced at the watch on her wrist. “Shit, we have to get back.” It was supposed to be a quick lunch because Fury called for an emergency meeting. You nodded, throwing your half-eaten food in the bag to take with you. “You know,” Natasha held open the door for you as you walked onto the busy DC sidewalks. “You should tell her. You both could be happy.” She said it as if it was easy and not scary. It’s not like you were losing your mind thinking about her in your bed. It started slow, but like dominoes, you started free-falling with no control. You were doing a shit job at hiding it if your friends knew the truth. It’s not like you were in love with her.

“I’m going on this mission,” you said, a little surprised.

“Yes,” Fury said, his arms behind his back and one good eye trained on you. “Your skill set is what this mission needs. Is that a problem?”

“No sir,” you said without hesitation. You kept up to date on your physical and firearm certification, and you met with SHIELD’s psychologist. You were always mission-ready when the time called for it, but it never did. You glanced at Maria, who was oddly quiet. Her face was in a permanent frown. But you couldn’t worry about her now; you had a mission to lead.

Maria found you in the locker room, tackle suit around your waist, and you were holding your dad’s dog tags in your hand. It was your good luck charm. “Want me to put it on you?” She asked. You nodded, handing her the necklace. Carefully, she placed the chain around your neck and locked it. The cold metal caused goosebumps to cover your shin. “I don’t like you going on this mission without me.” She admitted and sat down next to you on the bench. You chuckled.

“You’ll be watching my back,” you looked over your shoulder. “No, you’ll know how I feel every time you run off into danger.” You tried to make light of the situation, but there was a frown on your face. “Here,” you removed the necklace and placed it around her.

“What are you doing?” She asked. “You never go anywhere without it.”

“I don’t need it,” you said. “I got you watching my back. That’s all the luck I need.” Maria was quiet. It was unsettling for her to be quiet. “Ria, we got this. I get this. I’ve learned from the best, so I’ll be the best.” She laughed, and you were glad you could pull a sound out of her.

“Just-”

“Clover,” May walked in and cut Maria off. “We are all set, just waiting for you.” You told me you’d be there in 5 and turned your attention back to Maria.

“Just stay safe out there, Willow.” You wondered what she was going to say if she wasn’t interrupted.

“I’ll see you later, Ria,” you smiled. “Promise.”

You learned to listen to your gut instinct. It was your most valued tool as an agent. Even when you ran point back at headquarters, you listened to it when your stomach tightened with anxiety as you sat in the wooded area that surrounded the factory. This factory was responsible for releasing toxins into the air. Usually, this type of case wouldn’t gather attention from SHIELD, but the damage they were doing to the environment was affecting the locals: memory loss, muscle spasms, and strange hallucinations. The problem was that it was impossible to locate the idiots responsible for the mess. You could feel the environment dying in this area. May place a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Are you okay? She asked. You nodded, unable to open your mouth. You let out a few shaky breaths, trying to loosen the anxiety knot in your stomach, and tapped on the com in your ear.

“How are we looking?” You asked.

“They are about to make the guard change,” hearing Maria’s voice helped calm you down. “Are you doing okay, Willow? Your heart monitor is spiking.” You rolled your eyes and bit back a huff of annoyance. It was Phil’s idea to add pulse and heart detectors into the suit.

“Yeah, they’ve caused a lot of damage to this area. It’s making me all jittery,” you admitted.

“We’ll stop them,” this time it was Natasha’s voice through the coms. The Black Widow was recovering from a shoulder injury that left her benched until it was healed. You lead the team with Clint, May, and a handful of qualified agents.

“Shift change is in 3,” you put on your gas mask. “2 and 1. Stay safe, agents.” That feeling remained in the pit of your stomach. Anxiety, dread. You needed to figure out why. You moved through the building with ease and worked towards the control room. It was your, May’s, and two other agents’ job to turn off the factory while Clint protected the outside in case the alarm was tripped.

“We made it to the control room,” May said.

“Perfect, insert the flash drive. It should take 5 minutes to shut down the factory and copy the information they have on it.” Maria explained. May pushed the rolling chair out of the way.

“Go stand guard,” you ordered the other two agents. They obeyed and went into the hallway. The mission was almost over, so why were you so anxious? When May inserted the flash drive, an alarm went off, and metal walls trapped May and you inside the room.

“Houston,” your friend said. “We have a problem.” The room began to shake as a trap door opened, and a bomb rose from the floor. The red numbers clicked down from 10 minutes.

“Houston,” you repeated, and you took off the gas mask. “We have a bigger problem.”

“Turn on your cameras,” you turned on your body camera and heard the sharp intake of Maria’s breath.

“Guys, we have multiple heat signatures heading towards the factory,” Phil said. You walked over to the bomb, staring at the mysterious liquid.

“Barton, pull back. Gather all agents to the secondary position,” you pulled your hand back, clutching your hand against your chest—a fertilizer bomb.

“Willow, what is it?” Maria asked. You glanced at May; you knew she saw the panic in your eyes.

“It’s a fertilizer bomb,” you admitted. “Big enough to take out the factory and the surrounding bomb.”

“Fucking hell,” you heard Natasha mumble.

“May-”

“Already on it,” she cut off Maria as she rapidly typed at the control panel, trying to disarm the bomb.

“All agents have made it to the secondary location. Just need you two.” Yeah, that was going to be a problem. The sound of your team frantically discussing how to disarm the bomb became white noise. You walked the room length, gliding your hand over the metal wall. To your surprise, you felt pieces of earth within the metal sheets. Of course! All you had to do was focus on the impurities within the metal. You let out a shaky breath and concentrated. The metal moved underneath your palm.

“I have an idea,” you said suddenly.

“Am I going to like this idea?” Maria questioned. Probably not. You took your normal stance, feet shoulder length apart and knees bent slightly. You put your hands together, and then your palms faced the metal walls. Slowly, you began miming as if trying to rip something apart. At first, nothing happened. Beads of sweat trickled down your neck. Finally, the metal started to crumble and pull apart. A small doorway appeared. You fell to one knee, chest heaving. May ran to your side.

“That was wild,” she said. “I don’t know you could do that.” You chuckled as she helped you to your feet.

“Neither did I.”

“Nice work. No, get out of there,” Maria said. You quickly turned off your body camera and your and May’s com.

“You’re staying, aren’t you?” She asked.

“I think I can contain the blast.”

“You think?” It wasn’t an exact science, and you weren’t sure if you were strong enough to contain it.

“Go,” you told her. You had to try. If not, so many people would die, including your team. Your friend hesitated but took off towards the exit. You faced the bomb and turned on your com again. There were four and a half minutes left.

“Why aren’t you leaving with May?” Maria questioned. You took a shaky breath and retook your stance. “Willow, it’s just me and you. What are you doing?”

“I gotta try, Ria,” your voice strained with exhaustion, arms shook at each metal wall you bent around the bomb. “If I don’t, hundreds if not thousands of people are gonna die.” You said. It was your responsibility to get your team home and protect the innocents in the area. Maria whispered your name. It was so rare that someone said your real name it took you by surprise. The bomb was fully wrapped in metal, but you were exhausted already. “You got my lucky charm, right?”

“Yeah,” she whispered. “I got it.”

“Good, good,” you mumbled, digging your feet into the metal floor. “I’ll see you later, Ria. I promised, didn’t I?” There was so much more you wanted to say. A three-word sentence danced on your lips, but you held it back. It wasn’t fair to her to say it now. Each nerve in your body was vibrating. Every breath you took burned. You sent a silent prayer to your father as the explosion rocked your body. You held the metal to contain it. A scream left your lips as it became too much, and your world went black.

Maria knew she had this aura that surrounded her. An aura that screamed authority. It told newer agents not to fuck with her. She knew she was good at what she did and wanted everyone to know that. As she walked to the med bay with Natasha close by, she was murderous. Rationally, she knew it was no one’s fault. It was par for the course when it came to this line of work, but she needed someone to blame and push guilt onto someone. May was resting in a chair with an ice pack on her head. She looked up when she heard the approaching footsteps. “She’s still in surgery,” she mumbled, and Natasha sat beside her. “Doctors are worried about the amount of blood she lost and the toxins that entered her lungs.” A heat of anger washed over Maria, but she tried to push it down.

“May, go shower and eat,” Maria ordered. Her voice strained. She saw the protest form in the agent’s eyes. “That’s an order.” You risked your life to save her and the rest of your team. It would do no one good if May stopped taking care of herself. “That’s an order.” May sighed.

“Yes, Hill.” She stood up and left. Maria took a seat in her spot, elbows resting on her knees.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Natasha asked. Maria refused to look away from the wall she was staring at.

“I need her to be okay,” Maria admitted.

“Is this why you wrote her out of every mission?” The Black Widow questioned. Maria slowly leaned back and looked at the redhead. “Come on, Hill, it was obvious. With her on the field, missions would be over in half the time, but you didn’t want to risk her getting hurt.” Maria remained silent. “Now, why would you do that?” Her eyes locked onto Natasha’s green ones; there was no judgment like she had expected to see. “We do crazy things for the people we love.”

“I-” Maria let out a shaky breath. “I don’t know, Nat.” She whispered. “I just need her to be okay.”

“She will be,” the Black Widow smiled. “She’s strong.” Of course, Maria knew you were strong. She’s seen you at your lowest point when your father passed away, but you pulled yourself out of it. Your screams right before you collapsed were repeating inside her head. It was like a bad song stuck in there. The only thing that gave her hope was the steady beat of your heart monitors within your suit. You were alive, barely but alive.

“Deputy Director Hill,” her name said, but the approaching doctor caused her to stand up.

“How she is?” She asked.

“Stable,” the doctor said. “The next 24 hours are critical. I must admit she has a few guardian angels looking out for her. There was a major piece of metal in her stomach and left thigh. She also had small pieces in her arm. We think she hit her head due to a cut on the back of her head.”

“May said you were worried about her lungs,” Natasha said. The doctor nodded.

“She inhaled a great deal of the fertilizer before she was found, so we are worried about the lasting effects.” She explained.

“Can-can I see her?” Maria asked.

“Of course, we’ve placed her in a medically induced coma to allow her body to heal.” She faintly heard Natasha say she would inform Clint and the others of your condition. Maria wasn’t sure if the doctor was talking about your prognosis, but soon she was alone.

The only noise in the room was the steady sound of the machines connected to you. It seemed unreal that you were hurt. For the longest time, you seemed untouchable. Now, you were bedridden and too pale for Maria’s liking. She took your father’s dog tags off her neck and opened your hand to put the chain in it. “Lucky charm is back where it belongs.” She formed your hands into a tight fist and placed it on your heart. “Come back to me,” she whispered, kissing your forehead. “Please.”

There was a heaviness that surrounded you. It started at your chest and then moved to your limbs. The pressure was suffocating. Catastrophic. Slowly, you opened your eyes to the bright light of med bay. You felt metal in your hand and opened your palm to see the dog tags you gave Maria. “You’re awake,” you turned to see Natasha. A deck of cards in your hands and glanced down at your chest. You interrupted a game of war.

“Why are you using me as a table?” You deadpanned. Natasha shrugged.

“Had to kill time as we waited for your dumbass to wake up,” you rolled your eyes. “How do you feel?”

“Like I got hit by a semi-truck,” you groaned and sat up slowly. The door opened to the bathroom, and Clint walked out.

“Shit,” you said. “You’re alive.” You scuffed, rubbing the bandages on your chest.

“I’m glad you had so much confidence in me, bird man,” Clint took a seat across from Natasha. “The team is okay, right? They all made it out.”

“Yeah, you saved their lives,” Natasha said. “Maria is pissed at you.” You groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“I’ll deal with her later.” You closed your eyes. Now that you were a little more awake, you could take a better inventory of your body. Every small breath you took caused your chest to burn; it felt like a fire was starting. You sighed, wincing slightly, and turned to look at Natasha. “How bad?” The Black Widow sighed.

“There is potential damage to your lungs due to the fertilizer, and you had a metal that they had to remove from your stomach and thigh.” Cool, you thought, real cool.

“Just think,” Clint started. “At least you are off breakfast duty for a while.” You laughed at his poor attempt to lighten the mood but hissed. “Shit, sorry. No laughing. Got it.” You waved him off that you were okay.

“I’ll go get the doctor. Don’t move.” Natasha said, standing up. You scuffed. Yeah, you would make a grand escape with a hole in your stomach.

“You had everyone worried,” Clint said once Natasha was gone. You remained quiet, lost in your thoughts. It wasn’t your intention to scare everyone. It was your job to protect your team and bring them home. So, you completed that part of the mission. It so happened you were hurt in the process.

It was night when you woke up again, and Maria was in Natasha’s seat. Her eyes were closed, but you knew she wasn’t asleep. Even in the dim light of the room, she looked exhausted. Bags were under her eyes, and her face looked pale. Natasha told you that you were in a medically induced coma for five days. Maria barely slept, had to be forced to eat, and left her office. “I know you aren’t asleep, Ria,” you whispered. Her eyes shot open. “You look like shit.”

“Says the girl with the hole in her stomach.” You smiled.

“They stitched it up all good. Besides, I had my lucky charm,” you picked up the dog tag around your neck. To your surprise, Maria took your hand in hers. Your body felt warm at the simple act. It wasn’t like you hadn’t held her hand before this moment felt more intimate. “Ria,” you whispered. “Are you okay?”

“I thought I lost you,” she admitted. “God, Willow, you scared the shit out of me.”

“Didn’t mean to,” you said. “I needed to save the team.” She shook her head.

“It was the right call to make, but,” Maria sighed, and you felt her take her hand away, but you held her tight, not wanting to let her go. “Just don’t do it again.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” you promised.

With the surgery and injuries, your movement was limited. The most straightforward actions were impossible for you to do without pain shooting through your chest. It was deemed you would move in with someone until you fully recovered. Natasha was the first to offer but was quickly overruled by Maria. So you moved in with the Deputy Director, and it was strange. You needed help washing your hair, changing, and undressing yourself. You couldn’t understand the look in Maria’s eyes for every action you required assistance with. It wasn’t the first time you shared a living space with Maria, but now you walked on eggshells around each other. A part of you wanted to go back before the mission before everything felt complicated between you and your best friend.

The physical limitations weren’t the worst part of your recovery. It was the mental scars. Nightmares plagued your mind almost every night of that mission. It would change constantly. Sometimes, your team would die, or you would fail to save Maria. It was exhausting, waking up in a pool of sweat, your heart racing, and your lungs unable to get air into them. You wanted all to stop.

Maria was sitting at her dining room table, a bottle of whiskey opened, and she needed to work on a few case files. Her mind was a million miles away and not on her duties as Deputy Director. It wasn’t entirely her fault; a lot had happened over the past two weeks. Her best friend was almost killed; Natasha forced her to admit she was in love with said best friend, and she had to watch you piece yourself back together. It was exhausting, but she knew you would do it for her. This was how it had always been. You and Maria. Agent Hill and Gaia. A package duo that never crossed the line as friends. So Maria filled the void that was missing with one-night stands and drunken sex that meant nothing to her. All she wanted, needed, and craved was you. She could not risk the friendship; it was the most important thing in her life.

Small whimpers from your room pulled her out of her thoughts. Standing quickly, she made her way to the guest room. She carefully opened the door. You lay on the bed, mumbling something Maria couldn’t quite understand. On socked feet, she walked over to the bed and sat at the foot. “No,” you mumbled. “Take me. Not her. Please.” Maria’s heart broke.

“Sweetheart,” Maria whispered. “Wake up. Come on.”

“Maria,” you mumbled, thrashing slightly. “Maria, please, I’m sorry.”

“It’s just a nightmare. Wake up. Wake up.” You woke with a start, chest heaving and eyes frantically looking around.

“Ria,” you forced out. There was a thin layer of sweat on your body.

“It’s okay—you’re safe. I’m safe. Breath,” she gently touched the back of your neck and brought your forehead against hers. Your eyes closed as you took a few deep breaths in and out. Finally, you pulled away, and Maria hated to admit she missed you being close. You slumped back on the bed, arm across your face.

“Thanks,” you whispered.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked. She was curious to know if you heard her. With your other hand, you grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

“I’m scared,” you said. Your voice shook at every spoken word. “I feel broken and weak and-” You aggressively rubbed your eyes as tears filled them.

“You are not broken,” Maria said. “You are healing. In time, you will return to your old self that I-” Maria cut herself off. You removed your hand from your face and slowly sat up.

“You what?” You asked, crossed your legs, and tried to cover the grimace of pain that crossed your face, but you moved closer to her. “Come on, Ria, tell me,” she was looking at every decoration in the room so she wouldn’t have to look at you. Finally, you used your index finger to tilt her chin to look back at you. “Finish your sentence,” you wore a smile on your face. It was a smile that Maria learned to look for in a crowd, in a meeting, or on a video call while on a mission. Your smile filled her with a sense of peace. It warmed her body and made her feel at home.

“That I fell in love with,” Maria softly spoke as she finished her sentence. You made a surprise sound that originated in the back of your throat, but you recovered quickly.

“You love me, Maria Hill?” the agent huffed a laugh, shaking her head.

“Shut up,” she mumbled. “If you are going to make fun of me, get it over with.”

“I’d never make fun of you, not about this, at least.” You added with a smirk because you have made fun of her about other things. “Can I kiss you?” You asked, inching closer until Maria felt your breath mingling with hers.

“Please,” you connected your lips with hers. Maria hated how often she thought about this moment. She would go to her grave before admitting out loud how many times she had to bite her lip during sex to stop herself from moaning your name. Fair too soon for her liking, you pulled away and rested your head on her shoulder.

“Why have we waited so long to do that?” Maria chuckled. “Will you stay?”

“Always,” the open bottle of whiskey and mission reports could wait another day.

When you woke up the following day, you are disappointed to find an empty bed. Maria’s side was cold, but you heard a commotion in the kitchen. Carefully, you stood up. The mornings were always rough due to being in the same position for so long. You slowly made your way out of the room and into the kitchen. Maria was at the stove, her back to you, and you walked over to her. Your arms wrapped around her waist, and you buried her head in her shoulder. Her body tensed up but soon relaxed in your arms. “Morning,” you mumbled.

“Morning. Breakfast is almost done. Why don’t you go sit down?” You shook your head.

“Your arm,” you said, kissing the skin you could reach. You were happy with the goosebumps that formed on her skin. Her body shook with laughter.

“Go sit. I’ll get your medicine, too.” You pouted, walked over to the couch, and pulled a blanket over your lap. It wasn’t long before Maria joined on the sofa with two plates of food.

“I can help you know,” she said with a smile. She brought back two mugs of coffee and water with your medication. You kissed her cheek as your thanks and took the three white pills with water.

“I should probably say this,” you bite into the eggs. “I love you too,” she smirked.

“I would hope so, or this entire thing would be incredibly awkward,” she teased. You rolled your eyes and pumped your shoulder against hers.

“You are a dork,” you smiled.

“I’m your dork,” that was also true. Oh, how you liked that sound.

“Mine,” you mumbled, kissing her. “And I’m yours.”

#maria hill x reader #maria hill x you #maria hill

397 notes · View notes

avocado-writing · 9 months ago

Note

Today is my birthday, so I was wondering what would each party member from BG3 do for your birthday?Maybe a little nsfw afterwards?😏

Astarion

probably takes you out shopping! do not ask where he got the money to do this from, you don't want to know the answer. it probably wasn't earned honestly. but he's still happy to drop a small fortune on you, dressing you up in lots of lovely clothes and jewellery, taking you for lunch at the nicest place in Baldur's Gate. he doesn't eat of course, but you can tell how pleased he is just watching you enjoy little sandwiches and delicious slices of cake. he spears jam and sponge on the fork and feeds it to you sensually, eyes flashing with delight as he sees the way you lick your lips for him.

he cannot even wait to get you back to somewhere private. you abscond behind the cafe and he has you up against the wall. the stonework digs into your back delightfully as your legs wrap around his waist, he fucks into you so enthusiastically that he has to smother your moans with his hand so that you don't get caught. he whispers dirty things into your ear the whole time. but the day finishes with you watching the sunset together. he loves how you look, bathed in orange light. you'd love for this day to last a lifetime.

Gale

plans a very elaborate birthday meal which he invites all of your friends to. he is prepping for days in advance, finding out all of your favourite dishes and working on perfecting each one of them (tara keeps you distracted so that you don't catch on...) on the day, he buys you a lot of books for presents, ones he heard you mention wanting to read ages ago and kept in his mind for a special occasion. you feel thoroughly spoiled by all of the effort that he's put in, the the birthday cake he baked you is the most delicious thing you've ever tasted.

that night, when the guests have finally left, he probably has something a bit kinky planned, maybe something you've wanted to explore with him for a while. perhaps it's a... creative use of evard's black tentacles, or a magic double of himself to join in the fun, one thing you can be sure of is that you're exhausted and very pleased by the end of the evening.

Wyll

if he's duke he plans a big celebration for you. dancing, feasting, musicians, all of your favourite things dialed up to 11, no expense spared. has a special outfit tailor-made for you in your favourite colour. you spend the whole evening with your favourite people and are constantly dancing with your beloved husband. he can't keep his hands off you, and as the two of you waltz, he keeps whispering sweet nothings into your ear... how lovely you look, how radiant you are, how he can't wait to get you alone later tonight... by the time the event winds down you're a total mess with the promise of him.

and he does not disappoint. he beds you in the most sensual way possible, ekeing out your pleasure for as long as he can. paying extra attention to you with his mouth and fingers, encouraging you to grab onto his horns in order to direct him where you want him. the whole time he praises everything about you, says how lucky he is, how he can't get enough of you. you have more orgasms that night than you've ever had before.

Karlach

if you're in hell, she does her best. maybe enlists your friends to help her organise something, getting you a load of presents. she knows she can't hold you some big party like you deserve. or maybe withers comes in clutch again! he and karlach plan a little get-together with your friends for you so that you can be surrounded with people you love. alternatively, if you're still in Baldur's Gate, she just makes a big list of all your favourite things and goes through them. probably would take you to a circus. to a fancy restaurant for dinner. maybe a picnic by the river, just the two of you watching the ducks? whatever she chooses it is perfect.

now, let's be real. she straps you down if you're into it. gets the biggest, most interesting dildo you've ever seen and milks orgasms out of you all night. you're a mewling, sweating mess by the time she's done with you. and gods, if you use it on her afterwards? (if you already have a dick, filling both her holes??) oh, she agrees it's the best birthday ever and it's not even hers.

Lae'zel

probably has to take her time planning, and swallowing her pride to ask the other companions what is best to do. githyanki don't really do birthdays. she has to go to great pains working out what you might like. in the end it's probably something like she sets up a little dinner for the two of you in a secluded spot looking over the city, where the two of you can be alone and unbothered by everyone harassing you. taking the weight of responsbility off of your shoulders for a brief time. she buys you a weapon, probably, a really good one, masterwork - something she had commissioned and was refining herself. it's the most thoughtful thing she's ever given anyone.

at night she takes you somewhere you can be alone. books out a room for the both of you at the inn, so you can make as much noise as you want. and you do. she plays your body like an instrument, and you come over and over again under her hands. she's smug afterwards, your pleasure begetting her own.

Shadowheart

she's probably not great at birthdays, as she wasn't encouraged to really celebrate them much as she grew up under Shar. she gently coaxes out of you what you might want to do to celebrate for months in advance and plans around that. maybe you go on a little wine-tasting course. or perhaps Baldur's Gate has a cat cafe, and the two of you spend the whole day there, just snuggling with kittens. perhaps you both get attached to one and decide to adopt it, too... what harm can more pets around do? she's constantly giving you little kisses and telling you she loves you, her cheeks pink and words sincere.

that night she's bought herself a set of lingerie in your favourite colour for you to enjoy, taking off each lacy item in a tease for you... or maybe leaving them on as you make love. she's got a couple of new toys to tease you with too, something magical perhaps, which really spices up the evening. you fall asleep in each other's arms either way, blissed out and happy.

taglist: @ghosti02art@sadandanxiouswtf @yeethaw13@trappedinlimbo15 @infinitely-kate @dhampling@wereallbrokenangels @tilldeathdonugget @hopeful-n-sad

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lovelywritinglady · 6 months ago

Note

Can I request Kaku x fem water 7 civilian reader please?

Flying Man

Kaku x fem!reader

In which you’re a normal civilian that works at a cute cafe who’s totally in love with a marvelous shipwright.

Takes place in water 7. Fluff, Kaku is wonderful. Added some extras.

“Everyone look outside! Kaku is at it again!” Some random customer yelled inside the cafe you worked at.

Everyone including yourself ran outside to get a good look at the “Flying Man” as everyone called him. All of the people in the cafe and people passing by were in awe at the sight of this marvelous man soaring through the sky as if he had wings. However, the show didn’t last long as he descended from the sky and landed right in front of the little cafe. Kaku stood in front of you giving you and the people around him a cute closed eye smile. You froze slightly as you had only ever seen him from afar. But now he was here in the flesh right in front of you and it was almost too much for your poor heart to bear.

“Hey there everyone! Just came by for some lunch!” He exclaimed still smiling as he begin walking into your cafe. “Oh it appears to be empty.” Kaku joked looking at the menu posted on the wall.

“Sorry sir.” You said quickly making your way behind the cash register.

“Ahh, there we are! Say are you new here?” Kaku asked and you blushed at the acknowledgment.

“Yes, I am just started last week. What can I help you with sir.” You asked him

“Ah well..” he trailed off. “I’ll take the grilled ham and cheese sandwich with a cup of black coffee.” He cheerfully spoke looking in your eyes with a smile. “And what’s your name, pretty lady. ” He added

“Oh, my name is y/n, nice to meet you.”you told him feeling slightly nervous to finally be talking to him. Certainly, that’ll be $5.67.” Would you like it for here or to go Kaku?”You asked adding his name.

“Alrighty, and to go please. I’ve got a lot of ships that need repairs today. ” He said paying for his meal.

“It’ll be out in just a sec, please feel free to wait anywhere in the café.” You told him giving him your sweetest smile.

“Thanks! Also, forgive me if this is too straight forward, but I believe you have the prettiest smile in all of water 7.” Kaku complimented giving you a wide smile. Without hearing your response, he turned around and sat himself at a booth near the register.

“Thanks.” You muttered slightly dumbfounded by his sudden compliment.

After a few moments, his order was ready. You took it upon yourself to bag is You walked out and handed him his order as he took it cheerfully.

“Well thank you!” Kaku spoke taking his order. As you face it to him your fingertips touched his. A warm feeling erupted in your chest as your cheeks felt warm. He looked in your eyes and you weren’t sure what it was, but they made you feel so comfortable.

“You’re welcome sir.-Kaku” You muttered. “Please come back anytime.” You added speaking a bit more clearly.

“I think I will, I’ve been here a few time now, but I think I’ll start coming more often now that they have a cute server working here.” Kaku declared giving you a wink.

“Oh, well…thank you.” You blushed feeling excited at the thought of him coming back to the cafe.

For the next couple of weeks Kaku took it upon himself to come to the cafe every day. And everyday since he’s order the same meal. And give you large tip every time. You’ve gotten so use to seeing him that as soon as the clock turned 12, you took it upon yourself to start making his order personally. So, today when he didn’t show up you were confused. His order was ready in the back that had now gotten cold. The clock kept ticking away and you got on with your day by serving other customers. You felt worried for him, so worried in fact that you messed up an order. Thankfully, the customer was kind and could tell that something was up with you. As the day ticked on and turned into night, you decided that it was best to go home considering it was closing time. You left the cafe after locking up and began walking home. You were distressed by the absence of your crush as weren’t paying attention to where you were really walking. You were staring at you felt letting your body move on autopilot when suddenly, you bumped into a large figure.

“Oh shit.” You whined as you fell to the ground.

“Jeeze are you alright y/n?” A familiar voice called out

“Kaku?” You spoke out excitedly with a large grin on your face.

“Yeah, hey there. Let’s get you up.” Kaku greeted helping you as you tools his hands.

“Thank you.” You said still holding on to him.

“You’re quite welcome.” He winked holding squeezing you hand.

The two of you looked at each others eyes for what felt like an eternity before he coughed letting dropping your hands. You let out a sigh, already missing the warmth that his hands gave you.

“Kaku.” You said as he hummed in response. “I’m sorry if this sounds weird, but where were you today?” You asked sheepishly as you hugged yourself finding it slightly difficult to look him in his beautiful eyes. He chucked at your shyness as he grabbed your hands from your body and held them close to him.

“I’m sorry about that. The docs today were extremely hectic. Trust me all I could think about was you today.” He explained pulling you closer.

“You thought about me?” You asked slightly confused.

“Of course I did!” Kaku said like it was obvious.

“W-why?” You asked still not understanding.

“Oh y/n. I guess I should’ve made my intentions clearer.” Kaku told you rubbing your hands with his thumbs. “I like you precious, I really do.” Kaku affirmed. You were stunned but relieved that he felt the same way.

“I like you too, Kaku.” You whispered taking your hands from his and wrapping yourself in is arms. You could tell he was slightly shocked by your confidence but quickly put his arms around you and held you tightly against him. The two of you remained like this for a while feeling each others warmth and comfort. To you it all felt unreal and truly special. To Kaku this was all he truly felt he needed but knew that if the government found out it could potentially mean hell for him. But he didn’t care these past few weeks seeing you and even before that as he watched you from afar, made him feel more alive than anything else. He needed you and he hoped you’d give him the chance to prove that. Soon enough he felt it was important to finally ask the question he’s been dying to. So, he pulled away slightly to allow himself to look at your face as he held onto your body.

“What is it?” You questioned giving him a small smile.

“How would you like to go on a date with me?” Kaku finally asked

“Absolutely I will!” You exclaimed pulling him into a bone crushing hug.

“Haha, I’m so glad.” Kaku replied feeling excited but also worried for the future ahead with the woman that he adores.

Thank you so much for reading💜 And many thanks to the person who requested this fic!!

Click here to see what I’ll write for and HERE for my master list.

Please feel free to like, follow, comment, request, and reblog.

•I do NOT own any characters except y/n•

-L.W.L

#Kaku x reader #kaku one piece #Kaku one piece x reader #kaku op #one piece rewatch #water 7 #water 7 arc #cp9 kaku #one piece cp9 #fem reader #civilian reader #requested fic.#thank you for reading #one piece x reader #one piece x you #one piece

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fanfictionstuff · 5 days ago

Text

Curiosity 4 (Ikki Niko x Reader) SMUT

*Characters are of legal age*

Sorry for the late update, I know people have been waiting for it, including my friend who requested it. My favorite character from Blue Exorcist is finally back on the show so my thoughts are nonstop Amaimon. Sorry.

Normal.

Everything was normal the following day. You got up before Ikki and quietly changed into some clothes from your drawer. Since you’ve spent so many nights together, your parents and his had arranged for you to have a place to keep your clothes at each other's houses. You even have a uniform hanging in his closet, which is perfectly normal for best friends, right? It’s not.

Moving swiftly through the kitchen as if it were your own, you take various pans from the cabinets and gather ingredients from the fridge needed for breakfast. Ikki’s mom has left some miso soup for both of you. Preparing the tamagoyaki is straightforward, and there’s pickled cabbage waiting for you in the fridge.

Breakfast is normal. Ikki praises your cooking while you roll your eyes because there's really nothing to praise. Tamagoyaki is quite easy to make, and the soup and cabbage are leftovers from his mother. "You make the best tamagoyaki ______." “Whatever you say, Ikki.”

Everything felt normal as if last night hadn’t occurred. Watching you browse through your textbooks, Ikki begins to wonder if maybe it hadn’t happened.

“_____, is everything okay?” He questions cautiously.

"No. Everything is not fine. Can you tell me when I'll actually use this after high school?" You pull up the calculator on your app. "Once I graduate, this calculator will be all I need. I’d like to know when I’ll have to apply this level of math in real life, Ikki?” You lift the workbook in frustration. It’s ridiculous.

He frowns at your answer; he is not talking about schoolwork. “I meant…with us.”

“Us?”

Now, he’s truly wondering if it was a dream or something more. Could it be a dream of one of his deepest desires? “Uh, never mind. I have practice in about an hour; I need to prepare." He heads into his bedroom to put on his workout clothes. A bento his mother packed yesterday sits waiting in the fridge, which he plans to take for lunch between practices.

“_____, do you need me to get you anything?” He questions as he grabs his bag.

“No, after I finish this, I’ll grab lunch and pick up what I need.” You dismiss him, focusing on the problem in front of you. “Don’t overdo it today.”

After another twenty minutes of struggling with the workbook, you reach for your phone and decide to google the answers. At first, you try to use a website that gives you the answers and explains how it’s the answer, but then you get bored with reading about math and quickly switch to just writing the answers down.

Instead of making something for lunch, you decide to go out to a local café with great sandwiches and warm drinks. It’s just around the corner, and you make it into the coffee shop rather quickly; the scent of coffee and baked goods hits you as you enter the door. “Hi _____.” The barista grins. “How ‘s my favorite customer today?” He questions as you step up to the display case. “Good, how are you?”

"Great! Where’s my other favorite customer? I don’t remember the last time I saw you come in alone," he asks, as he begins preparing your favorite hot drink for your order.

“With his true love.”

The man snorts. “Fairly certain soccer isn’t his true love, kiddo. Anyway, what else can I get you?”

Your original plan was to come for a sandwich, but your eyes lock on a slice of cake. Would it be weird to get a slice of cake and a sandwich? Usually, you’d order one and take the other home, but you’d like to eat both now. “A panini and a slice of cake.” You point towards the slice of cake you want.

As you sip on the warm drink, you relax in the quiet cafe, watching the people walking by outside on the sidewalk. It’s not a school day, so you notice a lot of high schoolers walking by with friends. The warm comfort of the drink and smoothing warmness of the cafe is slowly starting to get to you. You and Ikki had stayed up pretty late last night, and he had to wake up early for practice today, so you wanted to make him breakfast like a good girlfriend best friend.

Shaking your head, you decide to head back to Ikki’s house. You should take a nap while you can before Ikki finishes practice.

The journey back to his house feels slower, as fatigue weighs heavily on every step. You struggle to unlock the door and carefully place your shoes in their designated spot before slipping into a pair of indoor slippers. A nap is definitely needed. Wanting to be as comfortable as possible, you remove your pants and neatly fold them before settling onto the sofa with a cozy blanket.

Ikki gazes down at his phone while eating the bento his mother prepared for him. He hardly registers the coach announcing that practice will end early today, as he's still grappling with whether last night was a dream or reality. He hasn’t received a text from you, which feels unusual since you usually message him during lunch.

After practice, Ikki makes his way to the locker room to change out of his sweaty clothes. He pulls out his phone to check for any messages from you, but finds nothing. A wave of disappointment washes over him, yet he quickly dismisses it, reminding himself that you’re likely busy with your own activities.

“______.” Someone whispers, shaking your shoulder. “Are you okay?” You groan, opening your eyes to see concerned teal eyes staring at you. “Ikki? Yeah, I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I bed?” You ask while rubbing your eyes.

“Oh, you didn’t text me during lunch, so….” He tilts his head down, allowing the hair to cover his eyes. “…. I was a little worried.” He admits.

You slowly sit up, glancing around the living room. “Wait, what time is it?”

“A little after two.”

“Why are you here?”

Ikki’s concerned expression morphs into something else, his mouth a thin, straight line. “Sorry, I can go-“

“What? Where are you going? Why are you here so early? Practice shouldn’t be over yet, right?” you ask, tossing the blanket aside and standing up. Ikki’s eyes widen as your bare thighs come into view at his eye level. he swallows hard, his gaze slowly moving up; you remain unaware of his lingering stare. As you stretch your arms overhead, your shirt rises slightly above your panties.

As memories from what he’s starting to believe was a dream flash through his mind, his mouth starts to water.

Ikki quickly averts his gaze, feeling a rush of heat creeping up his neck. "I-I just... our coach let us go early today," he stammers, trying to compose himself. He clears his throat and looks away, his heart racing at the sight before him.

You raise an eyebrow at his flustered demeanor, noticing how he avoids looking directly at you. "Well, since you're here early, want to watch a movie or something?" you offer casually, not realizing your casual movements' effect on him.

Ikki hesitates momentarily, still trying to shake off the images from the dream—or was it reality? "Uh, sure. Yeah, that sounds good," he replies, finally meeting your gaze but quickly looking away again.

“Great.” He’s still on his knees when you lean forward to grab the remote from the coffee table in front of the sofa. Ikki bites back a groan at the sight of you bent over like that in only a shirt and light blue underwear.

You didn't think twice about dressing like this in front of Ikki; it was completely normal for you. Even though last night had been more intimate and left you feeling exposed, him seeing you like this now, just casually watching TV, made it feel innocent again.

After selecting a movie, you sit on the other end of the sofa. Your body angled towards him, with your knees bent and resting against the arm of the sofa. This position gives him a perfect view of your slightly visible underwear.

It had to have been a dream. Otherwise, you would’ve said something to him, right? His fingers dig into his thighs as he tears his eyes away from you. Last night, you were so open and blunt with your curiosity. So, was it a dream? He glances back at you from the corner, but as his eyes land on the blue cloth, he can’t help but feel starved. He wants to pull them down, see if you’ll make those same noises if he parts your legs and runs his tongue along your slit.

“Ikki, are you okay?” You shuffle on the sofa, not noticing that you’ve opened your legs a bit wider for his view as you do.

“No.”

“What’s wrong.” “Last night.” He watches you carefully to see any signs that maybe last night wasn’t just a dream.

Your eyes widen; he sounds upset. Quickly, you straighten up, tucking your legs under you, and sit on your knees, staring at your best friend. “I’m sorry! I pushed too far. Didn’t I? We can just pretend it didn’t happen.”

“No.”

Your hands start to shake at his blunt tone. Is he angry and doesn’t want to be friends anymore? Does he feel like you took advantage of him? “Ikki, I’m so sorry. I was being selfish.”

“______, I love you.”

“I know; I love you too. Yet, I put you in that position. I shouldn’t-”

He leans in, his forehead touching yours. You can feel his breath on your skin as he closes his eyes and sits silently with you.

“_____?”

“Yes?”

“I meant I’m in love with you.”

He leans forward, gently pressing his warm lips against yours. It’s a sweet, quick kiss, and when Ikki pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours again. "I'm sorry if I just made things awkward between us," he murmurs. “If you don’t return my feelings, it’s okay. We can act like I never said anything. I just can’t lose you _____.”

You slowly pull away, reaching up to cup his face while pushing some hair from his eyes. “Sorry if you made things awkward? Ikki, I asked you if I could give you a blow job last night.”

“_____.”

“You’re not going to lose me; I love you too. I always have.” You admit before pressing your lips to his. He responds with a low groan before nipping at your bottom lip. Encouraged, you part your lips slightly, and he slips his tongue inside, gently moving against yours. His hands slip up your thighs; they’re on your hips, fingers slightly tucked in the waistband of your underwear. “Are you okay?” He whispers against your lips. You nod.

“You’ve been teasing me since I got home today. Did you know that?” He says with a smirk. “First, I wasn’t sure if last night was just a dream. All morning, you didn’t say anything, and now, when I come home, you’re wearing only this.” He gestures towards your outfit. “Bending over, slightly spreading your legs. Right in front of my face.” He moves from the sofa to kneel in front of you. “I told you before, you taste amazing.” He gently trails his fingers over your knees, spreading them apart slightly. “Can I have another taste, ____? It's all I've been able to think about all day." He confesses, running his tongue over his lower lip.

You nod, feeling a rush of excitement and anticipation course through your body. You can feel yourself getting wet at his words and the way he's looking at you. He leans forward, placing his hands on your thighs as he parts your legs wider. His fingers trail up and down your inner thighs, causing you to shiver.

“You smell amazing, too.” He looks up at you with darkened eyes before pulling down your underwear and nuzzling against your core.

You close your eyes and let out a soft sigh, enjoying the feeling of his warm breath against your sensitive area. He starts to kiss and lick gently, causing a wave of pleasure to wash over you. You reach down and thread your fingers through his hair, gently guiding him closer to where you need him most.

You're feeling a mix of emotions: embarrassment but also excitement. Last night, you thought he only did it because you gave him oral pleasure, and he felt obligated to reciprocate. But now, as his mouth eagerly explores your core with messy licks and desperate movements, it's clear that he's enjoying this just as much as you are. Your body responds by arching your back in pleasure, and he places your legs over his shoulders for easier access to you.

He can feel your arousal building, the tension in your body growing with each passing moment. Ikki's face is buried against your core; his eyes are closed in concentration as he focuses on giving you the most intense pleasure he possibly can.

You let out a loud gasp as his thumb finds your clit, rubbing small circles that send jolts of pleasure through your body. Your hands grip his hair as your back arches off the sofa, letting out moans of pleasure that fill the room.

With his thumb rubbing your clit, he uses his other hand to insert a finger into you slowly. He watches you through his hair, accessing the situation. Your expression and sounds only hint at pleasure, so he slowly adds another finger. Still focused on your expression while starting to make a scissoring motion with his fingers. That’s how he’s supposed to do it, right? To prepare you in case you want to go further with him. His brow furrows in concentration, wanting to bring you the most pleasure possible. When you start pulling his hair almost painfully, he realizes you’re going to cum. He curls his fingers while gently sucking against your clit.

You pant out his name as you come undone, the sensation seemingly stronger than it had been last night. “I-I think you somehow got better at it, how? It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. Your body jolts as you feel his warm tongue running along your folds again. “Ikki! Too sensitive.” You whine, trying to pull away. “Are you going to do this every time?” He frowns at you. “I’m sorry _____, you just taste amazing. I’ve never tasted something this amazing before.”

“You’re full of shit.” You huff, not believing that the taste of your release is anywhere near the level he’s trying to say it is. Ikki shakes his head, leaning forward to run his tongue along your folds once more. “I could do this all day.”

“Can I suck your cock?” Suddenly, the tables have turned, and Ikki’s confidence melts away into embarrassment at your words. “W-what? No, I mean yes.” He attempts to hide his red face against your legs. “Yes, just let me shower first, okay? I just got back from training and wasn’t expecting to do this within twenty minutes of walking in.”

“So, you were expecting this?”

Ikki chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "I-I mean, I hoped it would happen again; I didn’t think it would happen so soon." He looks up at you with a shy smile. "But I'm not complaining," he adds quickly, the embarrassment still evident in his face.

You grin at him, finding his reaction endearing. "Alright, go take a shower then. I'll wait for you."

Ikki nods and stands up, pulling his clothes off as he heads towards the bathroom. You watch him go with an appreciation for his toned body before pulling yourself together and sitting up on the sofa.

As you wait for Ikki to finish showering, your mind races with excitement and anticipation. Last night was amazing, and you can't wait to feel that same pleasure again with Ikki.

When he finally emerges from the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed in comfortable lounge pants, you can't help but stare at him hungrily. He grins at your reaction before making his way over to you.

"Are you sure about this?" he asks softly as he stands in front of you.

You nod eagerly; this all started off as your idea; of course, you’re ready.

“Maybe we could go to the bedroom.”

“Right! Yeah, of course.” You probably sound a bit too eager, but Ikki is your best friend and boyfriend? Is he your boyfriend now? Maybe this is something you should confirm first. “Uh, Ikki?�� You question, suddenly feeling nervous as you follow him into the bedroom.

“Yes?”

You sit on his bed, nervously fidgeting with your fingers. “So, uh, are we in a relationship?”

He pauses, suddenly becoming more nervous, too. “I hope so. I love you, and you said you love me unless you don’t.”

“I do! I just, nothing was said.”

You watch as his face starts to turn red. “_____, I thought it was implied.”

“Oh, right, yeah.” You rub the back of your neck awkwardly. “Anyway, you’ll let me suck your cock now?”

He knows you’re just reflecting your embarrassment, so he doesn’t say anything about your comment. Slowly, he nudges you to sit on his bed, and he sits beside you. His eyes never leave yours as he pulls down the waistband of his pants to reveal himself fully.

He's already hard, and your mouth waters at the sight of his length. Without hesitation, you lean forward and take him into your mouth. A low groan escapes Ikki's lips as your tongue swirls around him teasingly.

You savor his taste and feel in your mouth, loving how he responds to your every movement. You want to make him feel as good as he made you feel earlier. You take him deeper into your throat, causing him to let out a loud groan that seemingly vibrates throughout the room.

Ikki reaches down, gently taking hold of the back of your head as you continue to pleasure him. His fingers thread through your hair, his breaths coming out ragged and labored as you continue on.

"Oh god, ____," he moans softly, eyes tightly shut as he revels in the sensation of your mouth on him. "You're so good at this."

You remove your mouth from him but don’t lift your head, slightly panting; the puffs of air you release against the head of his cock just make him more sensitive. “Ikki, I’m the only one that’s done this for you. I could be awful for all you know.” You causelly comment, licking the tip.

"I don't think that's possible," he replies, his voice slightly hoarse. "You... you make it feel so good."

You grin in response, feeling a newfound confidence as you move back down to take him into your mouth again. Your lips wrap around him, and you begin to move your head rhythmically up and down, taking him deeper with each passing second.

Ikki's fingers tighten slightly in your hair, guiding your movements as you continue to please him. His breaths come out in short, sharp pants, each one more labored than the last as he approaches his climax.

"I'm going to cum," he warns you softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

You pull off him just in time, sitting back on your heels as he releases a loud groan, his hips bucking as he reaches his peak. He grips the sheets tightly as his orgasm washes over him, his eyes squeezed shut in pleasure.

As he enjoys the aftermath of his release, you lean forward, kissing the tip of his softening penis softly before looking up at him with a smile. "Glad you enjoyed it."

Ikki leans forward, capturing your lips passionately as his hands roam over your body. You eagerly respond, tangling your fingers in his hair as the kiss intensifies. His hands continue their exploration, trailing down to your core, where he finds you already wet with anticipation.

He slides a finger inside you, causing you to gasp and arch your back against him. "You're wet again," he murmurs against your lips before adding another finger and increasing his pace. Your moans become louder as he continues to please you with his fingers.

Feeling impatient, you grind yourself against him, wanting more contact and friction. “Could we, um, have sex?” You mumble as his thumb makes contact with your clit.

“Y-yeah.” He pulls away from you slightly to remove his pants completely; you follow suit and remove your shirt; your underwear is still somewhere tossed in the living room.

Gently, he guides you to lie down on the bed. “Are you sure?” You nod. “Let me know if it hurts.” He positions himself above you nervously; he expects the first time to be awkward; you are both virgins. His main concern is not hurting you when he first enters you.

“I’m ready.” You reply, reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He takes the hint, slowly entering you, his eyes locked with yours as he moves deeper inside you.

At first, it feels a little uncomfortable, but he moves slowly and pauses to ensure you’re okay before entering more. He waits a moment once he’s fully in you, giving you time to adjust. There’s no pain, just an odd feeling of being filled. You pull his head down to place a kiss on his lips. “Okay, you can move now.” He nods, starting with shallow thrusts, watching you carefully the whole time. You moan softly, your legs wrapping around Ikki’s waist as he moves deeper inside you.

Ikki groans softly in response, his chest grazing against yours as he finds a rhythm that seems to work for both of you. His lips find yours again in a passionate kiss, his movements becoming more urgent as he tries to please you in every way possible. Ikki moves a hand between your legs, reaching for your clit, gently pinching it as he continues to thrust into you.

You gasp at the sudden sensation, your eyes fluttering shut as waves of pleasure radiate from your core. "Yes," you whisper, clutching at his back as he continues to touch you in just the right way.

Ikki's movements become more earnest, his thrusts deeper and harder as he tries to give you the pleasure you both desperately crave. His eyes are locked on yours, searching for any sign that he's succeeding in making you feel good.

"I'm close," you pant, your voice barely audible over your own heavy breathing. "Don't stop."

Ikki nods, his eyes never leaving yours as he continues his relentless assault on your body. His breath becomes ragged, his heart pounding in his chest as he fights for control over his own impending orgasm.

Suddenly, a wave of intense pleasure washes over you, your entire body trembling as you cry out his name. Ikki feels your muscles clench around him as you release. His body shudders against yours, and he lets out a rough groan as he cums deep inside you.

Ikki's breath hitches as he pulls back slightly, his gaze still locked with yours. "Are you okay?" He whispers concern etched on his face.

You laugh, “Better than okay. Hey, did you know most girls don’t have an orgasm during their first time? So, good job.” You pat his back.

His head drops to your shoulder, “_____, please.”

“It’s true. I read it online.”

“_____.”

“Fine, fine. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You grasp a handful of his hair, pulling his head back so you can make eye contact. “So, our parents…”

If your parents knew, they’d realize they had been wrong about your supposedly sibling-like relationship all this time, and it’d be a mess.

Ikki looks thoughtful for a moment. “We’ve only got a few months before we finish high school. Let’s tell them once they’ve helped us move into a new apartment at the university.”

#ikki niko x reader #niko ikki x reader #ikki niko #niko ikki #blue lock fanfiction #blue lock x reader #blue lock

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asdfghjklmals · 1 year ago

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LUNCH DATE✩༶‧˚

GENRE + T/W: sfw, fluff. WORD COUNT: 1.5k words. TAGS: satoru gojo x fem!oc, established couple. bestie!nanami.

SYNOPSIS: oc gojo girlfriend and satoru want someone to double date with, so she helps nanami approach his crush at coco's. AUTHOR'S NOTE: i named the cute cashier at coco's after one of my jjk besties. i always feel weird giving other characters names (that's why i refuse to name oc gojo girlfriend) but oh well! REMINDER: if you want to imagine yourself in oc gojo girlfriend's character descriptions instead, please do!

“we’re going to be late for lunch, satoru.” you scolded your boyfriend. he had a bad habit of being late for things. it was something that principal yaga hoped you could fix in satoru. you were always punctual, but satoru could never be early for something to save his life.

“it’s just nanami. he won’t mind. plus, that gives him time to talk to the cute cashier at coco’s.” satoru laughed at the thought of his shy junior trying to flirt with the cafe employee.

it was yours and satoru’s lunch break at jujutsu high and every wednesday, you had lunch with nanami at a small hole-in-the-wall cafe called coco’s you used to frequent when you were students. coco’s was the place to be for greasy food after late night missions or for early morning breakfasts back in the day.

satoru and you walked together, hand in hand. cherry blossoms flowing in the wind, cars bustling back and forth on the busy streets of shibuya. you bumped your hips playfully into satoru’s while he grinned at you, he’d get you back for that later. your shikigami birds flying overhead, scanning the area for any threats. your birds liked to go on walks with you and satoru.

satoru opened the door to the cafe to see nanami already seated at your usual table, reading his weekly newspaper.

“ladies first,” he said as you walked in front of him to greet the 7:3 sorcerer.

“hi nanamin!” you smiled cheerfully, “how’s work going?”

“hey, (y/n). nothing’s changed.” nanami grumbled. he flipped to the next page of his newspaper.

“wanna come back and just be a full time sorcerer?” satoru asked him with hope in his eyes. he was always looking for a partner in crime now that tsumiki was studying abroad for high school and she was always busy with all her extracurricular activities. satoru hated that you raised such a popular and social child.

“what? ijichi not good enough?” nanami retorted.

“no way, ijichi is too scared to break any rules.” satoru scoffed.

you and satoru sat down in the booth across from nanami. you three were regulars here and the cafe always had your coffee ready. you had a hot vanilla latte with soy milk, satoru had a caramel frappucino, and nanami had an iced americano.

“it’s nanami’s turn to order today.” you said with a sly smile. the cute cashier with brown hair was working today. satoru and you always tried to get nanami to ask her out in hopes that one day you could double date.

“i think not, i ordered last week. it’s gojo’s.”

“you really want him to order?” you pointed at your boyfriend, “he messed up both of our orders last time.”

satoru started to say, “hey! in my defense—”

“forget it, i’ll do it.” you interrupted him as you got up from your chair. behind your shoulder, you shot a glare at the blindfolded sorcerer. he gave you a shit-eating grin. you knew he would’ve winked at you if it wasn’t for his blindfold.

the two men watched you approach the cashier to order lunch for the three of you: a turkey blt minus the tomato for you, a grilled cheese for satoru, and a ham sandwich for nanami.

**********************************

“come on, nanami. just ask her for her number.” the white-haired sorcerer egged on his blonde colleague.

nanami always frequented this cafe because he enjoyed the ham sandwiches here, not because there was a cute girl who worked here.

“i will do no such thing, gojo. quit bothering me and go get our food.” nanami said sternly.

“nah, (y/n) is gonna grab our food because she wants to make sure they didn’t put tomatoes in her sandwich.” satoru put his elbow on the table, chin in his hand, and tapped his cheek with his fingers. he watched as you gave the cashier your order number. he smiled when he saw you lift your slice of bread up to check for tomatoes.

laughing, satoru softly said, “that’s my girl.”

“did she check for the tomato?” nanami asked.

“yup.”

**********************************

you returned to your usual booth in the corner of the cafe as you set the tray down onto the table. the men reached for their assigned sandwiches.

“babe, you have the most childlike order. who orders a grilled cheese? the last time someone in this family ordered a grilled cheese was when tsumiki was like 9.”

“obviously not the lactose intolerant.” satoru retorted knowing you were the lactose intolerant, “the grilled cheese is good here. they use 3 different kinds of cheeses, they toast the bread with butter, and the sourdough is exquisite.”

you and nanami stared at satoru as he took a bite into his grilled cheese. the cheese pull from his mouth and the sandwich was entertaining to watch.

“delicious as always.” he gave you and nanami a thumbs up as you both rolled your eyes at him.

you wiped the remaining bread crumbs from the side of his mouth with a smile and kissed him on the cheek. you happily returned to your own sandwich. nanami watched the way you and satoru interacted with each other all the time, he never really felt like a third wheel, but for some reason he did today.

**********************************

during lunch, you updated nanami about the latest gossip at the school which was totally about yuta and maki flirting with each other between classes, how megumi is preparing to enter jujutsu high, and satoru talked about toge’s latest mission.

“so… what’s new with you?” you asked nanami. he wiped his mouth politely with his napkin before speaking.

“i’ve just been working. it’s the end of a closing period, so buying and selling stocks have been keeping me busy.”

“are you busy enough to not be able to go on a double date?” you started batting your eyelashes at nanami, “i will literally ask her right now.” you pointed at the cashier.

“she will do it.” satoru instigated, nodding in agreement while sipping his frappucino. he knew you were stubborn, and you always got your way. especially with him.

“please, don’t bother her. she’s working.” nanami sighed.

“i have 4 tickets to the teamlab digital art museum, and you’re coming with me and satoru.” you stated, shoving the tickets in nanami’s face.

satoru gasped excitedly, “babe, when did you get those tickets?!”

“don’t worry about it,” you ignored your boyfriend and slyly peered at nanami, “what do you say, nanami?”

“like i said—”

“okay, great! i’ll ask her right now!” you quickly jumped out of your seat and walked towards the cashier. nanami face palmed his forehead in defeat, satoru watched you sprint to the counter with a grin.

“hi!” you said cheerfully.

“oh, how can i help you? did you get everything with your order?” the sweet cashier asked.

“yes, i did! i actually wanted to talk,” you peered at her name tag, “alicia. that’s a cute name. are you from around here?”

“i’m not! i’m actually studying abroad, it’s my last year at the university.” she replied with a smile.

you introduced yourself with your best foot forward, “well, i’m (y/n) (l/n), i’m a high school administrative secretary. the tall blindfolded guy with the white hair over there in the corner is satoru gojo. he’s a teacher and he’s my boyfriend, unfortunately. and our friend, the handsome blonde, is the one and only, kento nanami.”

“oh, i know who you guys are. my boss told me that you guys have been coming here for like 10 years. he says whatever you guys ask for, to give it to you.” alicia smiled and leaned in closer to you and whispered curiously, “do you guys really like the food here that much?”

you started laughing, your cheeky smile hiding your bright green eyes, “it’s decent food and it’s nostalgic for us. for some reason my boyfriend likes the grilled cheese. i’m lactose intolerant so i would never touch it and—”

“and you hate tomatoes.” alicia added confidently.

“that’s correct.” you laughed, “so, alicia… our friend nanami over there. he thinks you are super cute. would you like to join us on a double date sometime?” you mouthed ‘please’, alicia’s face blushing.

you could sense nanami’s cursed energy flaring. his embarrassment was hard to hide as he turned bright red, satoru’s arms around his shoulder playfully teasing him.

alicia smiled at you, “i’d love to. kento has always been super nice to me whenever we’ve talked.”

“right? he won the ‘most likely to end up on the bachelor’ vote in high school. satoru was a little jealous about that.” you giggled, “here’s nanami’s number, alicia.” you slipped her a pink sticky note with his cell phone number.

you winked and waved at the sweet cashier and walked back to your table where your boyfriend and long-time friend sat.

“thank me later, nanami. i expect to be included in your wedding vows.” you teased the 7:3 sorcerer.

DIVIDERS PROVIDED BY @/ANLIAN-AISHANG

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vex-bittys · 3 months ago

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When Life Gives You Skeletons: Chapter 5: Skeletons Do Not [REDACTED]

All of your frustration, anger, and heartache pours out of you in the form of tears. Red starts out with a tentative hug, but eventually his arms settle firmly around you, holding you tightly. You grip his shirt front with both hands as if he's the only thing keeping you from fracturing, as if he's your lifeline.

You feel like a boat set adrift on a vast ocean, lost and small. Everything you had just yesterday has an “ex” on it now: ex-manager, ex-job, ex-residence, ex-roommate. You moved to Ebbott for a fresh start, but you ended up in the same position as before. No family. No place to live. Granted, you do have a friend in Ebbott, but her career and fiancee leave little time for you. As an added bonus, you also don't have the suitcase of belongings you left your hometown with or the sense of security and safety you should have towards other people.

In short, you have a lot of things to cry about, so it comes as no surprise that it takes quite a while for your sobs and hyperventilation to subside to snot, sniffles, and the occasional hiccup.

Once he sees that you're calmed down, Red helps you back into your seat then heads to the counter to get some food. You try to protest his offer to buy you lunch, but he flatly tells you to either give him your order or you'll end up with a plain bread sandwich with extra mustard. You relent and call out the instructions for your sandwich. Red picks up drinks and chips as well, but when he goes to pay, the worker gives him an unimpressed look.

You can't tell if she dislikes Red because he looks like a living human skeleton or if she dislikes Red because he just reached into his pocket and tossed a bunch of wadded up bills, miscellaneous loose change, buttons, paper clips, lint, and other deep pocket detritus onto the counter with a casual “keep the change” thrown in for good measure. Fortunately, she perks up when she realizes that the “change” Red let her keep amounts to more than the cost of the entire order.

Red brings the food to your booth and sets your meal in front of you. You appreciate it, you really do, but you're just too anxious and emotional to do much more than pick at your food and sip your drink. Red, on the other hand, demolishes his sandwich and chips with gusto, belches, then speaks.

“so where ya plannin’ on stayin’ t'night?” Apparently, Red is going straight for the million dollar question, so you stuff a huge bite of sandwich into your mouth and go over your options silently while you chew (also silently). Red’s phone buzzes an alert into the silence you've created, and he ignores it.

With no forewarning about last night's events, you'd gone ahead and paid your rent, your portion of the utilities, your phone bill, and your student loan payment in full and on time like a responsible adult, the kind of adult with a bank account running dangerously low on funds. You have a few hundred dollars that you had stashed in a savings account to someday purchase a car, but a chunk of that would be spent today buying replacement clothes and toiletries. Even if you had the money for a security deposit and first month’s rent, who would be willing to lease an apartment to someone with no job?

Nobody.

Even the cheapest motels would be out of your price range after just a few days. This conclusion has tears welling up in your eyes again. You hate crying in front of people; it makes you feel weak and helpless. You swallow your bite of food and your emotions and give Red an honest answer.

“I really don't know.”

“ya ain’t got nobody y’can stay wit’?”

You don't want to explain your family situation or your lack of a social life. Those are stories for another time. The last thing you need right now is to open yourself up to additional emotional turmoil, so you go with a short and simple “No.” Red's phone buzzes again as if to accentuate your answer.

“look, i'd have ta talk t'my cousin, sans cuz it's technically his house, but would ya wanna stay wit’ me n’ my bro n’ cousins?”

You're stunned by the offer, and it takes a moment for you to respond. “I don't want to be a freeloader…” You trail off because honestly there aren't any other options open to you.

“y'could offer t'do some of the cookin’ n’ cleanin’,” suggests Red. “i know my bro is always complainin’ about all th’ shit he has ta do around th’ house.”

It's a fair compromise, and you accept. Red’s phone gives a triumphant buzz, and he ignores the alert a third time in favor of calling his cousin. You suddenly become very interested in the lunch you've barely eaten to avoid eavesdropping, but it's difficult when the conversation is happening right across the small table from you.

Sans must have picked up because you overhear the indistinct mumble of a very deep voice on the other end of the line. Your phone vibrates violently inside your purse, and you welcome the distraction. Digging around to find it, you still can't help hearing Red speak.

“i gotta friend who needs a place ta stay n’ i thought maybe she could take th’ attic room.”

You retrieve your phone and see a new message icon displayed on the screen.

“nah, she ain't a troublemaker.”

New Message:

The Magnificent Blueberry

(XXX) XXX-XXXX

The Magnificent Blueberry: ARE YOU ALRIGHT, MAIDEN?

“my bro n’ blue already met ‘er, n’ they liked ‘er just fine.”

Your fingers fly over the phone screen, quickly tapping out a reply to Blue.

You: Yeah, I'm good. Just enjoying some lunch.

“axe didn't bother ‘er las’ night.”

The Magnificent Blueberry: I APOLOGIZE FOR INTERRUPTING YOUR MEAL!

Blue's random check-in is a bit odd, but it's nice to know someone is thinking of you and worrying about your welfare. You close the conversation with Blue only to notice another unread message underneath it on your list of texts. At first, you don't recognize the number.

“axe n’ rusty ain't had an episode in months. look, maybe y'should jus’ talk to ‘er yerself.”

New Message:

(XXX) XXX-XXXX

(XXX) XXX-XXXX: y’can make it up t’me by joinin’ me f’r lunch sometime to listen t'more of my jokes. i got a skele-TON of ‘em.

You would've known this message is from Red even without your original text nested above it. Unexpected laughter bubbles up inside of you. When it bursts free, it takes some of your gloomy mood with it.

“A skeleton pun, Red? You must know I find them quite-” You pause for dramatic effect. “- humerus!”

You do not realize that Red has put you on speaker phone until you hear a deep, low chuckle coming from the phone. Red groans.

“i take back what i said. she's obviously a troublemaker,” Red says, making Sans laugh harder.

“Just because I like puns,” you huff, indignant.

“puns're th’ low-hangin’ fruit of th’ joke world, doll.”

“Gasp,” you cry instead of actually gasping. “How could you say that? Puns are the pinnacle of jokes!”

“the cherry on top,” Sans quips, and you giggle.

“what’ve i gotten myself into,” Red laments.

You smile in a very devious manner. “Orange you glad I didn't make that cherry pun?” Red groans again, and you and Sans howl with laughter. Obviously, Red’s cousin understands that the humor of puns doesn't come from the wordplay itself; it comes from people's reactions to the puns. You think you'll get along with him just fine, and it seems he agrees.

“i'll talk to axe and rusty and ask papyrus to get the attic room ready, but she's your responsibility, red.”

“got it.” With those final words, Red hangs up on his cousin, probably to avoid the possibility of more puns. You save Red’s contact information as “Clifford” in your phone, and turn your attention to packing up the remains of your lunch. You don't have the appetite to finish it, but you hate wasting food. A partial sandwich and some chips will be a great snack if you get hungry later. For now, you need to focus on finding some inexpensive outfits and toiletries to bring to your new temporary home.

You approach the woman at the counter to ask for a bag to carry your leftovers, and no sooner have you stuffed your future snack into that bag than you hear an unmistakable high-volume rasp shouting for Red. At least you assume “MY INSUFFERABLE LAZYBONES OF A BROTHER” is Red. You return to your booth to find the two skeleton monsters arguing.

“HOW MANY TIMES MUST I REMIND YOU NOT TO IGNORE MY TEXTS!” It’s difficult to be sure since Edge speaks loudly and has extremely pointy features, but you think the tall skeleton might be angry at his brother. Red, though again you're no expert at reading bone facial expressions, appears sheepish.

Your curiosity leads you to interrupt. “How did you know where we were?” Edge levels a glare at you that makes you regret your very existence.

“MY VEHICLE HAS A GPS TRACKER INSTALLED TO PREVENT THEFT.” OK, so Edge is obviously a stalker, and he has the nerve to sound proud of himself for it. “WHEN MY CONTACT AT THE HUMAN POLICE DEPARTMENT SHOWED ME THE REPORT FROM YOUR RETRIEVAL MISSION-” Retrieval mission? “- I DECIDED TO INTERVENE.” Now Red is on the receiving end of Edge’s glare again. “AND STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT YOU CHANGED MY DIAPERS! SKELETONS DO NOT POOP!” Edge stomps his foot to punctuate each word of his last statement.

“then what were ya wearin’ the diapers for?” Red asks oh so innocently. You sputter, trying to hold in your laughter and failing.

Shifting his focus to you, Edge changes the subject in lieu of answering. “I ASSUME YOU ARE HERE TO REPLACE YOUR POSSESSIONS, AND FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON MY BROTHER HAS TAKEN IT UPON HIMSELF TO ACCOMPANY YOU.” You nod in acknowledgement. “I SUPPOSE I SHALL ESCORT YOU AS WELL TO KEEP AN EYELIGHT ON MY DEGENERATE BROTHER AND MAKE SURE YOUR PATHETIC HUMAN WEAKNESS DOESN'T PUT HIM IN ANY DANGER.”

“didn’ i teach ya any manners growin’ up?” scolds Red.

“NO.”

“true, but if ya keep bein’ rude ta the human, i'll show ‘er pictures of you as a babybones.”

“YOU'RE BLUFFING!” Edge’s voice lacks its usual cocky confidence. You actually hope that he calls the supposed bluff and you get to see his baby pictures. Even pointy, scowling babies are cute!

“if ya think so, then try me.”

The skeleton brothers continue to bicker, trailing behind you while you backtrack to the store entrance to grab a shopping cart. You gather from conversation that Red raised Edge, but you don't dare to ask about their parents because it might invite questions about your parents. You aren’t ready to talk about that yet, especially when you're in the ladies underwear department trying to select a comfortable, affordable bra.

Thanks to the abundance of clearance racks at this particular store, you have a pair of bras and a multi-pack of underwear in your cart in no time. You also find some pajama pants in case you need to wander the house at night without your upper thighs exposed. Red stays close to you as you browse a rack of marked down shirts. Edge prowls around the clothing department, eyelights darting back and forth suspiciously. Periodically he checks back, speaking to his brother in a low tone that discourages eavesdropping. You're not the listening-in type anyway, so the secrecy doesn't bother you.

You are, however, significantly bothered when Edge hijacks your cart to pass judgment on your selections.

“THE CRAFTSMANSHIP ON THESE GARMENTS IS ABYSMAL,” he sneers. Clearance rack leftovers at a superstore do tend to lack in the quality department, but you have a tight budget to work with. Before you can even begin to explain this to Edge, he drops a pile of clothing into the cart, scooping out the shirts you had just placed there a moment ago. You can see from the tags that he chose the correct size; unfortunately not a single item is on sale.

“THESE ARE THE BEST THAT THIS ESTABLISHMENT HAS TO OFFER,” Edge informs you, though he doesn't sound particularly impressed.

“I can't afford all of this right now, Edge,” you point out, exasperated.

“I AM AWARE OF YOUR SITUATION, HUMAN,” he responds, equally exasperated.

Red diffuses the brewing argument by interrupting. “what my bro's tryin’ ta say is: since yer stuff got destroyed because you associated wit’ us, we'll pay ta replace it.”

Oh.

“AND I WILL NOT PROVIDE YOU WITH LOW QUALITY REPLACEMENTS EITHER. I HAVE A REPUTATION TO MAINTAIN.”

The tall skeleton monster can't know that his words mirror the ones his brother said to you yesterday, but they make you smile anyway. Now that clothing has been checked off the shopping list, you move along to the hygiene essentials. Red marvels at all of the human cleaning products (“hair soap n’ face soap n’ body soap n’ pussy soap, n’ it all comes in diff'rent flavors!”), and Edge remains vigilant for possible shampoo aisle ambushes. He also refuses to let you shop for sale items here.

You put cheap deodorant in the cart. Edge hands it back to you and points to a popular (and more expensive) brand.

You try to pick out budget brand shampoo and conditioner.

“NO.”

You grab store brand bar soap.

“TRY AGAIN.”

You reach for a value pack containing a toothbrush and toothpaste together for one low price.

“NOT THAT ONE.”

You toss a hair brush into the cart. Edge says nothing. Apparently the brush meets his high standards.

“it's easier t'just let ‘im have his way, doll,” Red whispers loudly to you. You roll your eyes. Calling Edge a control freak would be the understatement of the year.

“HUMAN!” The tall angular skeleton monster demands your attention. You patiently inform him that your name is, in fact, not “Human,” and give him your real name. Edge impatiently informs you that he “ALREADY KNEW THAT” and, in fact, “DOES NOT CARE.” He waves away any protest you might make, or perhaps shoos you towards your next destination. It’s difficult to read his intentions.

“SINCE MONSTER FOOD DOES NOT MEET A HUMAN’S NUTRITION NEEDS, YOU WILL NEED TO PROCURE VITAMINS AND HUMAN FOODS.”

You have seen the Public Service Announcements regarding monster food, of course. Monster food will satisfy hunger and even leave a human feeling rejuvenated just like a good night's sleep, but it lacks some key nutritional components. Humans can't survive on monster food alone, and monsters, who need the magical properties contained in their foods, can't survive on a human diet. You lead Edge and Red to the vitamins and supplements department only to be absolutely blown away by the ridiculous prices.

“I think I'll be fine with just a multivitamin,” you mumble, trying to avoid Edge’s well-meaning wrath. It turns out that Edge’s wrath is inescapable.

“IT WOULD BE STUPUD TO INVITE A HUMAN INTO OUR HOME AND THEN ALLOW IT TO PERISH OF MALNUTRITION. GATHER THE NECESSARY SUPPLIES AND STOP WHINING!”

“blue says she needs iron, b12, d3, n’ calcium citrate,” Red butts in, holding up his phone to show off what must be a text from Blue. Huffing in irritation, Edge swipes a handful of appropriate vitamin bottles off of the shelf and tosses them into the cart. Without another word, he stomps off towards the grocery section of the store. You and Red hurry to catch up, pushing the loaded down shopping cart in front of you. Knowing that skeletons don’t poop (thank you Edge for that strange tidbit of information), you grab some toilet paper on the way.

Red and Edge return to their routine: Red hovering near you, and Edge patrolling each aisle as if Jay might leap out from behind a display of microwave mac and cheese to finish what he started. You fill the remaining space in the cart with breakfast, lunch, and dinner staples though Red reassures you that he and his cousins will start incorporating human foods into their recipes next time they shop for ingredients. Meanwhile, Edge scouts around the next corner and discovers the magical land of soups, the perfect food for autumn's chilly weather!

Hefting a can of soup in each hand, you weigh the pros and cons of chicken and rice versus chicken noodle, and Edge, apparently satisfied that this aisle is secure, picks up a can of bone broth to glare at.

“WHY ARE WE BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?”

You take the can from him and return it to its place on the shelf. “Convenience,” you say and move along to browse the store's selection of snack foods while Edge guards you from the perils of grocery shopping, whatever he thinks they might be.

You're just starting to think that this shopping trip will turn out alright in spite of Edge’s abrasive personality when someone decides to rain on your little three person parade.

“Can you believe that they sell monster food here? Humans can't even eat monster food!” The complaints come from a young woman who speaks in an annoying whine, a dead giveaway that she's probably one of those self-centered types who don't understand that not everything in this world is made specifically for them. There are two skeleton monsters shopping in the store right now just a few feet away from her!

“I know!” You mimic her voice perfectly. “Can you believe that they sell milk here? I'm lactose intolerant!” The woman's pretty face turns into an ugly sneer once she catches on to your mockery, but you refuse to let her speciesist comment go unchallenged.

“I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE-” You already know Edge well enough to know he would never apologize to this woman, but her smug smirk tells you that she's falling into his verbal trap. “- TO ANYONE WHO HAS THE EXTREME MISFORTUNE OF ENCOUNTERING SOMEONE LIKE YOU.” Insult delivered, Edge places a surprisingly gentle hand on the small of your back to guide you away from the confrontation.

Red adds his two cents with a double middle phalanx salute which he maintains while walking backwards behind you and his brother. You catch one last glimpse of the woman's stunned face, her mouth hanging open before Edge has you out of the aisle. You quickly dart back to grab a few boxes of Pop-Tarts only to have the delicious pastries scrutinized by a pair of disapproving red eyelights.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT,” Edge declares. “THOSE HAVE NO NUTRITIONAL MERIT!”

“I can pay for these myself,” you offer. You will defend your Pop-Tart habit to the death if you need to. Edge relents in his own way, snatching the treats from your hands and throwing them unceremoniously into your cart. Flanked by two skeleton monsters, you steer the cart towards the checkout lanes feeling a bit like a princess with two bony knights to escort her.

A cashier begins scanning your items, and with each beep your euphoria evaporates a bit more until all that's left is a heavy sense of anxiety. The total continues to climb, and anxiety gives way to panic. You can't ask two skeleton monsters that you've known for less than a day to buy you so much stuff, but the transaction is already out of your price range and the cashier is still working his way through the pile of clothing.

“breathe, doll,” Red whispers, making you jump. You actually forgot about the skeleton monster standing next to you! Now that your focus is broken, you take some calming breaths. The cashier scans the last item, and hits a key to reveal the staggering sum. Unfazed, Edge pays with a credit card. Did he even check the amount?

The cashier requests Edge’s ID, probably due to the large purchase. Edge hands it over. The cashier checks it, then gives Edge a skeptical look.

“Edgelord Edgerton Serif? What kind of name is that?” You think he might be joking, but Edge lets out a low growl of frustration.

“IT'S THE KIND OF NAME YOUR MOTHER WAS SCREAMING LAST NIGHT. NOW FINISH MY TRANSACTION.” Edge’s dry joke makes you snort, and Red bursts into raucous laughter.

Thoroughly chastised, the cashier gives Edge his ID and a lengthy receipt. Not bothering with the now-empty shopping cart, Edge picks up each and every bag and carries your purchases outside by himself. You suspect that he is grumpy about having his name questioned, but you have to agree with the cashier's skepticism. Who names a babybones Edgelord?

You aren't one to look a gift horse in the mouth, however… especially if that gift horse is a skeleton with really sharp teeth named Edgelord Edgerton Serif.

In the parking lot, Edge stows your new belongings (and Pop-Tarts) in the back of the SUV and slams the hatch down. Turning to his brother, he holds out a gloved hand, metacarpal palm facing upwards.

“YOU CAN TAKE YOUR CHOPPER HOME, BROTHER. I'LL TRANSPORT THE HUMAN.”

“sure thing, boss.” With no protest, Red drops the keys to the SUV into Edge’s hand.

“You call your brother ‘Boss’?” The question slips out while Edge retrieves the chopper keys from his pocket. The skeletons repeat their earlier performance of throwing and catching keys, and Red gives you an answer over his shoulder as he saunters up to a sleek black and red motorcycle.

“yeah, everyone used ta think it was cuz i was a sentry in the royal guard n’ he outranked me, but it's really cuz he was such a bossy little babybones.”

Edge stamps his foot and shouts: “STOP TELLING THE HUMAN YOUR COCKAMAMIE STORIES!” Red just starts up his bike and revs the engine to drown his brother out. He then speeds off, leaving you in the care of a tall, irritated skeleton monster.

You and Edge climb into the massive vehicle (Edge figuratively and you literally) and start your journey together. Edge drives attentively and cautiously while still managing to go slightly over the speed limit. At first he doesn't speak to you, but the blissful silence is over all too soon.

“FOR REASONS UNKNOWN, MY BROTHER HAS FORMED AN ATTACHMENT TO YOU.” Edge’s loud voice fills the SUV, surrounding you with the sound of it. “IF ANY HARM COMES TO HIM BECAUSE OF THAT ATTACHMENT, I WILL ENSURE THAT YOUR END IS EXCRUCIATING SLOW AND EXCEEDINGLY PAINFUL.”

“I would never do anything to hurt Red.” Your heated words are immediate and honest. You would never forgive yourself if something bad happened to Red because of you.

Edge says nothing, and an uneasy silence returns to the vehicle. You wonder why Edge feels the need to control every aspect of a situation. Maybe it comes from being a high ranking member of the Royal Guard? You presume Edge’s inner monologue is more along the lines of where to hide your mangled body if you cross him, and an unexpected shiver races up your spine.

Thankfully, you survive the ride to your new home. Edge once again gathers up the purchases and carries them by himself. Red must have somehow beaten you here because he stands at the front door, opening it to let you and his brother inside where you find yet another skeleton monster waiting.

“WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME, HUMAN,” he shouts with contagious cheerfulness. The new skeleton is tall like Edge with softer, rounder features and a casual style of dress. He sweeps you up into a powerful hug, spins you around, and sets you back on your feet, then he picks up a gift basket from a side table and presents it to you. “PLEASE ACCEPT THIS TOKEN OF HOSPITALITY AND FRIENDSHIP FROM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”

You stare through the clear cellophane wrapping in shock. The basket contains a luxurious loofah, slippers, bubble bath, candles, and lotion, all items that a person on a tight budget wouldn't bother buying for themself. This family of skeleton monsters barely knows you, but they have already done so much for you. Red protected you, Blueberry checked on your health, Edge provided for you, Sans made you laugh, and Papyrus embraced you as a housemate and friend, sight unseen.

You haven't felt so wanted and cared for since your grandmother passed away.

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#vexy writes #undertale #underfell #underswap #swapfell #underfell sans #uf!sans #underfell papyrus #uf!papyrus #undertale sans #ut!sans #undertale papyrus #ut!papyrus #x reader #undertale fanfiction

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azucar-skull · 6 months ago

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Tips on how to get cheap food:

As someone who has to steal, ration, and coupon my way through a family crisis, here are some tips to help you out too.

1) Stealing

Yes, stealing is unlawful but not unethical if you play your cards right. Don't go for local markets, attack big chain corporations do to some real damage.

3 things are required to pull this off successfully. 1, keep items to a minimum. 2, use self-checkout. 3, shop during the rush hour.

In my case, there's a chain supermarket nearby a high-school. When the students are out for lunch, most head to the store and the place gets waaaay too packed for staff to supervise self-checkout. I use a basket and grab what I need and then go to self checkout and scan only 1 item (usually a $0.50 sauce cup). I save roughly $20 during each visit.

2) Coupons

Ever received coupons in the mail? Hold onto them. Remember the expirations. And map out your orders wisely.

For me, I use Fetch Awards to earn gift cards from time to time. Idgaf if it's a ploy to seller consumer information for advertising, that shit fucking works and honestly I just need food ffs.

I currently have a $10 gift card for Panera where I'm going to buy me a big baguette sandwich and Mac n cheese. A $24 order for the price of $14 and it'll last me 5 meals when rationed.

3) Too Good To Go

TGTG is an app that helps prevent good waste. Local businesses that have "sell-by-date" foods, would make a surprise goodie bag of whatever leftovers they have and sell them for like $5 instead of $20. You get cheap dinner for the night and help prevent food waste. A win-win for everyone.

4) Rationing

You know how GEM Casey had to ration? Yeah. Guess who he got his skills from...

Know your limits and what you can handle. For my disabled folk, this one will be very hard. But still possible.

For me, I can't eat a lot in one sitting and I use this to my advantage. I meant it when I said my usual Panera order would last me 5 meals, my stomach is tiny lmfao. If I space my meal time correctly, I can get by on 1 or 2 meals a day.

*This is borderline ARFID eating disorder. If anyone has seen my tiktoks from pre-pandemic you could see a major difference in my shape. That was because I used to ration 1 meal a day and a "meal" would be microwave popcorn. Please be careful when rationing or else you will slip into ARFID just like me and GEM Casey. Only resort to this method when it's your only option left.

Bonus:

It helps if you dress somewhat decent. Unfortunately, those in poor clothing are almost immediately kicked out or kept a close suspicious eye on because they look homeless and have no money and will probably steal. In a world with every person for themselves, if you are able to, dress decent enough so that you don't stand out. It'll lower suspicion.

Those are my tips on eating cheap. Good for college students lmfao. Also dw about me, I'm okay. Yes, supplies are low again, but like I said I'm gonna steal from the store today and go to Panera. So I'll have..*does math* 25 meals for the price of $14.60--

Damn! Ikr? I'll be fine, dw. 😎👍

#I'm like red robin hood except I am the poor--#fuck capitalism #demantle the structure #disrupt the status quo

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drpeppertummy · 1 year ago

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ok. tiny little prompt game drabble #1

[hunger]

“Sounds like you’re ready for lunch," Leon chuckled. Shel's belly rumbled again, almost as if to respond.

"Yeah, I guess I am," Shel agreed, unable to hold back a little smile. "I got nothin' on me. Where you wanna go?"

"Bagel place?"

"Twist my arm." Shel pushed himself out of his chair with a groan, and the two friends made their way for the elevator.

Leon and Shel often said that they should be trying new places, but whenever the time came, the little bagel place down the block was hard to beat. The sandwiches were spectacular, and it was close enough to walk to from the office. Despite Shel's enthusiasm, though, he found himself trudging along as they walked, struggling not to fall behind. Leon slowed his pace to match his weary friend.

"I'm movin' slow today," said Shel, throwing an arm around Leon as they walked side by side.

"I'll say. You feelin' alright?"

"I will after we eat. Maybe grab a coffee. Not a lot of energy today," he confessed. Leon nodded understandingly. He knew that what that likely meant was that his friend's achy knees had kept him up last night, and he doubted the hunger was helping. Shel's stomach let out a long, whining growl. Leon winced sympathetically and wondered if the pain had been bad enough to hurt his appetite as well. It wasn't like Shel to let himself get quite so hungry.

Fortunately, the commute was short, and Shel was glad to drop himself into a seat as soon as they'd ordered. He'd gone for his usual, a turkey avocado BLT, and Leon, in an attempt to be healthy, decided to branch out from his usual pork roll sandwich and try a veggie wrap. A hollow groan rose up from Shel's empty stomach, and he tried to suppress a wince as it was constricted by an aching pang of hunger.

The woman at the counter called for Leon, and he stood up to retrieve their lunch. He passed Shel his sandwich and sat down with his own. Shel's stomach grumbled impatiently as he unwrapped the foil, and Leon couldn't help but smile. It wasn't like his friend's stomach to be so chatty, and while he felt sorry for him, it was a little endearing.

Finally, after a long, hungry morning of work, the two friends dug into their lunch, and when they finally returned to the office, they returned with full, happy bellies.

#writing #belly kink #tummy kink #hunger kink #xshelx #xleonx

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pbandjesse · 1 month ago

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The event I'm working tonight is winding down with an auction. It's been a pretty nice night. I am looking forward to going home though. I'm tired. I know it's because I'm not sleeping well. I am just really tired and I just wish I could get a full night's sleep.

Some of the issue is the air is so dry. I would pick up a little humidifier today to hopefully help. But I woke up a ton last night just because the inside of my nose was so solidly scabbed and painful. Sucks.

I was at least able to sleep until 9 this morning. When I woke up I was not in the best place mentally. I tried to shake it off but I just felt gross. I made the bed and took a shower and tried to be in a better mood. It sort of worked. Just the convincing of myself.

I got dressed and went downstairs to have breakfast. James left me an egg sandwich and I also cut up an apple and had that with peanut butter. Sweetp was yelling at the backdoor so I let him out but I warned him it was going to be chilly and windy. And he would come back in pretty quickly. Silly.

I worked at my desk for an hour and a half. Just sewing frog legs. I got three color ways sewn and flipped. They still need to be stuffed but I was really happy with the work I did.

Sweetp is funny when I sew. He will sit up against my foot that's on the peddle. He'll bite my ankle. He is just all in my business. I was afraid I was going to squish his tail or foot with my chair because it's rocking. But so far I have not but it still makes me nervous!

I would go upstairs to lay in bed for an hour. I disassembled a charm necklace. And just watched some videos and chilled.

I would do my makeup and got dressed with layers. I really liked my outfit. I didn't plan to wear boots but I am glad I did. I need to put in my sheep skin insoles for extra comfort ASAP. But they were good for now.

I left the house around 1230. And went to Southside diner for lunch. Which was nice. I watched my little videos and ate my food.

I thankfully have not been as quick to nausea but I also am just anxious. I don't know if I am feeling my baby or if it's just pressure cramps in my belly. And like I hope I'm feeling them but I truly don't know. Which then makes my brain try to protect my heart and I just keep going. Well maybe I'm not pregnant anymore. I don't know what's going on in there. I have no evidence good or bad. And I don't know why I feel so worried. But also I am trying to just feel normal. 11 days until my next appointment.

I walked around five below. Got candy and chopsticks. I am missing a bunch of my chopsticks that I keep strategically around the house. So I got replacements. And a sanrio keychain. And that little humidifier I brought up before. It is hello kitty shaped.

And then I was at the museum. I was happy to sit with James for a bit. I got to chat with Paula about the confusion with my pay and she said I'm getting business cards! I got lots of laughs about my home made events name tag and they said they were going to order me a new one too. Feels nice to feel a part of the team.

James went to take their break and I would join Jesse on a walkthrough for a bit to answer some print questions. I would chat with Jessica who is almost ready to have her baby! She made me feel a little more secure. I appreciate that she was willing to listen to me and she told me her good things. It was a nice conversation.

The event tonight was a charity for scholarships for kids who's parents were maimed or killed in workplace accidents. And everyone has been really nice. I felt very on top of stuff. Not the av or tech stuff. Which I had to call Jesse to help with. But everything else has been good.

I would run around with catering for a while. Checking in with the event organizers. But mainly I've been at the desk knitting. I got 5 squares done. Very productive. I also had lovely conversations with people. And the catering had the good focaccia and feta spread. So I was very happy.

Things are winding down now though. So I'm going to go help direct clean up. And hopefully we get to go home early.

I hope you all have a nice night and a good day tomorrow. Be safe. Goodnight!!

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wwenhlimagines · 2 years ago

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Stuck In The Middle - Part 10

Hook x Y/N x Ricky Starks

Part 9 (you might want a quick refresher)

It was only just a dream...?

Ruby handed me a cup of water and some pain pills for the headache I was feeling as I sat up. "You fell getting ready for bed last night. I got you back into the bed as you claimed it wasn't that bad. Then you fell asleep and you have been out for 10 hours."

I groaned and reached for my phone to check my notifications. There are a few here and there, but nothing is important right now. "So wait, did I get drinks with Ricky last night?"

Ruby slowly nodded and rubbed my back. "Yes, I got you back into our room, and we both laid down, but then you got up in the middle of the night and fell in the bathroom."

I groaned and held my head before laying back down. "So I didn't go to breakfast with Ricky then?"

Ruby frowned and shook her head. "No, sweetie, you have been lying here for the past 10 hours. Ricky texted me to make sure we got back to our room, but that is all."

I sigh and rub my hands over my face. "Well, damn... that was a good dream then."

Ruby lifts an eyebrow and nods at me to continue, and I try to hide the blush on my cheeks as I explain the dream to her. "So you two were about to kiss?"

I nod and fall onto my side to try to hide my face in my pillow as Ruby laughs and runs around the room cheering. Just as she settles down and is about to ask for more details, I get a text from Ricky. "Good morning, gorgeous. How are you feeling today?"

I try to hide my blush as I read it, and this makes Ruby snatch my phone from me and run away. I try to chase her, but the painkillers haven't kicked in yet. I groan and wait for her to read the text and re turn my phone to me.

She smirks and mockingly pretends to respond for me. "Fantastic after our chat last night. I can't wait to suck face later."

I pout as she gives my phone back, and I look down at Ricky's text. "Not too bad. How about yourself?"

I get up and walk to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth before I hear Ruby giggling. I walk back out and see her smiling at my phone. I playfully push her away and grab my phone before walking back into the bathroom.

"Pretty good. Glad to hear from you. Got any lunch plans? I've heard a lot of good things about the sandwich shop around the corner"

I smile and check for any visible injuries before responding. "Nope, that sounds like a great idea! I'm getting ready now, so I'll be presentable in about 15 minutes."

I start fixing my hair and putting on some mascara when I hear the notification. "I'll meet you in the lobby. 😁"

I put on some leggings and a cute top before slipping into some vans and checking myself in the mirror. As I am about to head out, I hear Ruby yell, "Go get him, Tiger!"

I walk into the lobby and see him standing, facing away from me. I take the time to admire his ass before calling out his name. He turns around and smiles widely before pulling me into a hug. I groan lightly as my head aches slightly.

He holds me at arms length, and his eyebrows furrow with worry. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

I shrug and sigh before responding, "Apparently, I got up in the middle of the night and fell down in the bathroom. I hit my head, so it's a bit achy."

He pouts slightly, "We don't have to go out to lunch. I can grab something and bring it back if you'd like that better."

I shook my head slightly, "I'm fine, Ricky. Just no sudden movements."

He nods before opening his arms to say, "Follow me" as we walk to the sandwich shop. The walk was short, and Ricky kept close but only guided me with a hand on my back. I was secretly hoping he would try to put his arm around me or hold my hand.

We order, and Ricky pays for both of our meals before we find a table to eat at. Our lunch is filled with small talk and backstage gossip as we get to know each other better. We are done eating when Ricky reaches over the table with both hands, and I hesitantly place my hands in his.

"We need to talk about last night. We can't really move on one way or another without discussing it."

I tilt my head slightly as I try to remember what actually happened last night. "Ricky, I'm so sorry, but after the fall, I'm honestly not sure what really happened last night. Reality and dreams are all mixed up in my head."

Ricky smiles and squeezes my hands gently. "It's okay, sweetheart, I have dreams about you, too."

My eyes grew wide as I realized what I admitted to in that moment, but his soft voice pulled me back in. "We had drinks at the bar, and I tried to drop you off in your room, but you had forgotten your key. We went back to my room and hung out for a while. Do you remember that?"

I slowly nod my head, "Yes, we had to wait for Ruby to return. Did I try to kiss you?"

He smirked and nodded. "Yes. But I told you I didn't want to kiss you when you were drunk. I didn't want to take advantage of your tipsy state."

I blushed, trying to hide my embarrassment as I hung my head. "Hey, gorgeous. There is no reason to be embarrassed. I was flattered to know your drunk self felt that way. My question is, does your sober self feel that way?"

My fingers started to fidget in his hands, and he took the chance to interlock our fingers. "We can still be friends if you don't, but if you have those feelings, I have a couple more things for us to do today."

My head starts to spin as I think about the possibilities, and Ricky gives me a worried look. "I think I still need some time to process all of this. I'm so sorry, Ricky."

I hear a defeated sigh leave his lips, but he puts on a happy face as we get up from the table and head out of the sandwich shop. On the way back to the hotel, I interlock my fingers with his as we walk down the sidewalk, and he looks down at me with a genuine smile.

Tags: @thesupreme316 @gethooked @730hook @hookedonhook @louisianalady @hooks-martin @plentyoffandoms @legit9thlunaticwarrior @hookswifeeyy @daddyhausen @seeingstarks @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @lghockey @thenerdybaker523

#aew imagine #ricky starks imagine #ricky starks fic #aew hook imagine #stuck in the middle

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pickalilywrites · 1 year ago

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Hi is it possible for you to write platonic reihisu and beruyumi. Some ideas about how Reibert and Yumikuri would go on a double date thanks to their platonic friendship.

absolutely :)

Love's Just a Game

ReiBert. YumiKuri. Modern AU. Platonic!ReiHisu. Platonic!BeruYumi. 5015 words. Read on AO3!

When Reiner walks into the tea parlor, Historia is waiting for him at a table. She’s already ordered the perfect spread for today’s afternoon tea: Darjeeling tea in pink porcelain teacups, smoked salmon sandwiches, English scones stuffed with clotted cream and strawberry jam, and a plethora of freshly baked pastries. Historia looks like the picture of perfection sitting there in her smart periwinkle ensemble made of a fitted blazer and a peplum skirt. Her hair is done up in a neat French twist, not a single hair out of place. She smiles when she sees Reiner walking towards her, raising her hand to give him a princess wave. He scowls back at her in lieu of a greeting.

Reiner takes a seat across from Historia, slouching in his seat instead of trying to keep up with appearances. He’s not dressed as a slob, of course. He’s in his salmon button down, a few buttons tastefully undone, and pressed, white trousers, but it’s hard competing with someone who resembles an actual Disney princess.

“Aw, Reiner, why the long face?” Historia asks. She lifts her cup to her mouth, but it does little to hide the smug smile on her lips. After setting her cup back on a saucer, she delicately pats her mouth with the cloth napkin on her lap. She’s somehow mastered the technique of wiping her mouth without smudging her lipstick.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know why, Reiss,” Reiner says, his voice gruff. His eyes scan past the colorful plates of food presented to them on the table. Normally, he would scarf them down easily and have a cordial conversation with Historia, but the time for congeniality is over. His eyes narrow as he looks at Historia, gaze fixed on the golden spectacles dangling from Historia’s neck. “I see you have your bragging glasses out.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I would never do anything so vulgar,” Historia replies, but her smirk says she knows exactly what Reiner’s talking about. As if to irritate him further, Historia lifts the glasses from around her neck and balances them on her nose before taking out a notebook and flipping it open to where it’s bookmarked. “Would you like to see this week’s tally?”

“I don’t need to see this week’s tally,” Reiner replies. He has a similar notebook back in his apartment that tracks the same thing. He knows exactly what Historia is talking about, but even thinking about the latest tally fills him with embarrassment. “Your lead is only temporary, so enjoy it while it lasts.”

“Are you sure about it? I’ve been in the lead for quite some time, but it’s nice that you’re not discouraged,” Historia says. She turns the notebook over so that Reiner can read the page.

Reiner doesn’t want to read the page, but it’s hard not to miss the words written in perfect cursive on top of the page: Best Girlfriend/Boyfriend Ever. Underneath the title, there are two columns. One column has Historia’s name while the other column has Reiner’s name on top. There are tallies underneath both of their names, but Historia’s tallies outnumber Reiner’s by at least three. He scowls at the sight of it just as he has scowled at it every night before bed when reading his own notebook.

“Do you want me to throw you a party or something?” Reiner sniffs.

“Not at all, but maybe you could try arranging better dates. I bet Bertholdt would also appreciate our double dates more if his boyfriend didn’t plan hikes that involved everyone getting stung by wasps,” Historia smirks. She takes off her glasses, letting them dangle around her neck once more. She turns her attention to the sandwiches and picks one up delicately between her fingers. “Oh, and if you can pay lunch today, that would be great.”

Reiner rolls his eyes. He’s been paying for their lunches for the past few weeks. It’s customary for the person with less tallies to pay for their afternoon teas. Reiner doesn’t mind much, but he’s not sure how longer he can stand this losing streak. It’s less about money and more about pride. It’s also about planning dates that don’t result in having to slather his boyfriend’s body in cortisone cream every night for a week, although Bertholdt will say that it was an unconventional but invaluable bonding experience between the two of them.

“I hardly think that it was the worst double date we’ve ever had,” Reiner huffs. He tries to recall other disastrous dates they’ve shared with their partners. Although he usually only remembers his with shame, he does recall a handful of times where the disaster dates were planned by Historia. “What about when you flew us to France for a week and it rained the whole time? We were drenched by the time we got to our hotel. Ymir had a cold that lasted for two weeks, and we were holed up in the hotel the entire time!”

“At least it was a nice hotel,” Historia snaps. Her lower lip sticks out in a childish pout, and she leaves her sandwich abandoned on her plate. “They had so many pillows and blankets. Maybe the trip didn’t go as intended, but you can’t argue the success of Pillow Town.”

Reiner snorts at the mention of Pillow Town, the name that Ymir had given her massive pillow fort. Its construction took up nearly the entire room. When Reiner asked where the couple had slept in their hotel room, Historia confessed that she didn’t know where it was because of the mountain of pillows covering everything and had eventually given up ever trying to find it, choosing to sleep on a small mound of pillows instead. “It wasn’t successful enough to earn you a tally.”

“Just like how rail biking couldn’t earn you a tally?” Historia retorts. She’s referring to a rail bike trip that Reiner had booked for them and their partners. It was advertised as a fun, scenic activity for couples and friends. It was actually torture, and everyone except Ymir suffered a massive sunburn. Reiner couldn’t feel his arms for a week, and he’s sure that the muscle soreness was much worse for his other friends who didn’t have as rigorous gym routines.

“Yeah, or how you tried to make pasta and got the flour ratio all wrong?” Reiner replies. He’s alluding to a homemade dinner he and Historia had attempted. Everything was going well until Historia lost count of how many cups of flour they were supposed to use and added too much, resulting in dough that just wouldn’t come together. She had attempted to even it out by adding more eggs but that somehow made things worse because she couldn’t decide how much was enough and added too much. It was an endless cycle of more flour and then more eggs until they were up to their elbows in unworkable pasta dough. They ended up ordering sushi and abstained from eating pasta for a whole month after that.

“What about the time you took us to a pottery class and knocked into a shelf, shattering everyone’s mugs?” Historia snaps, speaking about a time where Reiner had destroyed not only his friend’s pottery but a week’s worth of pottery from other students that had come to take the pottery class. (Reiner still argues that it wasn’t completely his fault and that the studio should have bolted down that shelf if they didn’t want accidents like that to happen.)

They could go on and on, throwing worst-date stories at each other until they’re blue in the face, but a waitress interrupts them.

“You took look absolutely lovely together,” the waitress says with a polite smile on her face. From her pleasant tone and oblivious expression, she has no idea that the two are in the middle of an argument. “Can I say it’s just a pleasure to be serve such a wonderful couple each week?”

Historia and Reiner exchange looks with each other before bursting out into laughter.

“I would never date this man in a million years,” Historia says at the same time Reiner tells the waitress, “I’m gay.”

“O-oh,” the waitress says, shrinking back in embarrassment.

“I think we’ll take the check now,” Reiner informs the waitress, who shuffles off immediately.

“You haven’t eaten anything,” Historia points out.

“You can have all of it,” Reiner says with a wave of his hand. “I’m not hungry. I’ll save my appetite for this next date, which I will plan perfectly. I’m going to fucking devour you, Historia, and I’m not going to leave any crumbs.”

Historia smirks. “I highly doubt it, but good luck.”

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

Ymir and Bertholdt are seated next to each other as they watch Historia and Reiner play Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Historia has chosen to play as Sheik while Reiner plays as R.O.B. Ymir and Bertholdt were eliminated long ago, but Historia and Reiner are still in the game with only one life left each. It amuses both Ymir and Bertholdt how invested their partners are in the video game, choosing to stand as they mash the buttons on their switch remotes and yell expletives at each other until their throats are hoarse.

“Who are you betting on?” Ymir asks Bertholdt, nudging him with her foot.

“Reiner, of course,” Bertholdt says with a furrowed brow, his expression asking Ymir would ask him when there was only one obvious answer.

“Oh, Bertholdt, ever so faithful,” Ymir hums admirably. She turns her attention back to the screen where R.O.B is shooting laser beams at Sheik with his robot eyes. “You got it, babe! Kick his ass!”

Historia responds with a slew of curses. Bertholdt flinches at the colorful language, but it only makes Ymir throw her head back and howl with laughter.

“Sometimes watching people play videogames is more fun than playing them yourself,” Ymir says, stretching her arm against the back of the couch and grinning over at Bertholdt who has never looked more stressed out in his life. “Well, at least for some people. It’s always so funny seeing Historia curse. You know she doesn’t even swear this much when we -”

“Fuck!” Historia shouts as R.O.B. knocks Sheik off the screen and the character victory screen for the robot appears. Sheik is slumped down in the background alongside Ymir’s and Bertholdt’s characters, Wario and Kirby. Historia whirls around angrily and glares up at a smug Reiner, her switch controller dangling from her wrist. She points a finger at him. “I want a rematch!”

“Why, so you can lose again?” Reiner snickers.

“So I can beat your dumb, robot ass!” Historia says. She’s red-faced and her hair is disarray, a look of vengeance glimmers in her eye, but she’s hardly threatening at 4’9”.

“Come on, Historia,” Ymir says, standing up from the couch to wrap her arms around her girlfriend. She smothers a few kisses against Historia’s neck and gently undoes the controller strap around Historia’s wrist. “Let’s have a few more drinks and calm down a bit, and then you can go back and kick Reiner’s stupid butt.”

“Your strongest vodka, please,” Historia hiccups as Ymir leads her to the minibar for another drink. Historia stumbles behind her girlfriend drunkenly, wobbling with every step.

“I’ll make you a vodka soda,” Ymir tells her before uncapping the vodka bottle and opening a can of Sprite with a hiss.

“Surely, a drink is the exact opposite of what Historia needs,” Bertholdt says. He’s had a few drinks himself, but it always takes more than a few to get him drunk due to his large frame.

“Normally, I would agree with you, Bertl, but today’s activities include getting drunk out of our minds and playing videogames, so a few more drinks can’t hurt,” Reiner says with a lazy smile. He picks up Bertholdt’s half-finished drink, a watered-down gin and tonic, and downs the rest of it.

“I wouldn’t worry too much, it’s like 99 percent soda anyway,” Ymir assures Bertholdt in a stage whisper. Her voice is loud enough for Historia to hear, but the blonde waif is too drunk and busy downing her drink to pay attention.

Historia downs the drink in one big gulp, finishing it off with a large gasp. She doesn’t seem to notice that the soda-to-alcohol ratio is off. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. With a drunken finger, she points to where Reiner is (or at least where she thinks Reiner is).

“Rematch, asshole! I’m going to eat you alive!” Historia bellows, words slurring. Ymir gently guides Historia’s finger away from Bertholdt and towards Reiner.

A rematch hardly seems fair considering Historia can no longer distinguish her friends from each other, but Reiner picks up his controller with a chuckle. “Be prepared to lose again, Reiss.”

As they start a new match, Bertholdt can only watch with his head shaking in wonder. “It’s really difficult to believe they were friends before this,” he murmurs as Historia’s character (this time Princess Peach) drifts off the screen because Historia has confused the Toadstool Princess with Diddy Kong.

“A love like theirs is not something we mortals can understand,” Ymir says. She takes a swig from her bottle of beer and smacks her lips, relishing the taste. She once again takes a seat on the couch and smiles as Historia loses once more. “But, damn, if it isn’t entertaining.”

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

The four friends lounge on the sofa and chaises in Historia and Ymir’s living room apartment. They’re decked out in their pajamas — Historia in silken pajamas while the others wear random t-shirts they got years ago from college events and plaid pajama pants — with fluffy robes thrown over. All of them have mud masks plastered on their faces, some of them applied more carefully than others. In the background, soothing whale songs play on the Bluetooth speakers. Candles are lit around the room, filling the apartment with the soothing aroma of lavender and sandalwood.

“I think this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in a long time,” Bertholdt murmurs with his eyes closed. His lips hardly move when he speaks so as to not disturb his mud mask even though it’s already dry. He wiggles his toes contentedly in his fluffy slippers.

“Where did you get this playlist?” Reiner asks Historia curiously. She doesn’t typically listen to whale songs. Her road trip playlists typically consist of classical music (she favors the work of classical composers such as Hadyn, Mozart, and Beethoven) or indie pop music if she wants to put on something that’s friendlier to the general public.

“I spent last week curating it after I decided we would have a spa day date,” Historia replies. “I don’t half-ass my date ideas, Reiner. I put the utmost care into planning every detail to make sure everything goes accordingly.”

“Of course, you do,” Reiner mutters. She’s always been like this, planning for every detail while also making sure to plan for alternative cases in the event she ran into obstacles and her original plan couldn’t be followed. It would be admirable if she weren’t using her powers for evil (I.e., outdoing him at planning dates and making him look bad in front of Bertholdt).

“I’ll send you the playlist after this since you like it so much,” Historia says, her voice saccharine sweet.

“Great, thanks,” Reiner says flatly without an ounce of sincerity in his voice.

Ymir’s legs are spread widely as she relaxes in the recliner. Her mud mask is the messiest out of the four. She hadn’t taken much care when she was applying it. She has clumps all over her face and had applied it not only on her face but her neck as well. She had gotten some of the mud mask on the collar of her fluffy robe too, but she looks rather pleased with herself anyway.

“I’ve never really been one for self-care, but I feel like I’m in my element this time,” Ymir says.

“Your element being mud?” Bertholdt snorts. “What are you, an ogre?”

“Aye, I’m an ogre! Arrr!” Ymir growls in her best impression of the beloved 2001 animated ogre Shrek. She raises her hands in a threatening pose, but it only makes her look ridiculous when her hair is tied so messily and mud is smeared across her face. The group of friends can’t help but burst into laughter at the sight of her. Ymir pretends to be offended, but even she is stifling a smile. “You laugh when you should be frightened. Do not forget that I have the upper hand now that you three have dared step foot in my swamp!”

“You’re the least threatening ogre I’ve ever seen, although you might be in the running for ugliest,” Reiner snickers.

“I think you mean the cutest ogre ever,” Historia says, and Ymir sits up straight with a pleased smile on her face.

“Aye, thank you, princess. I think you are beautiful as well. How about we kiss and have our happily ever after?” Ymir asks, but her Shrek impression has evolved into an awful Scottish accent. She pulls the most hideous expression she can before leaning over to Historia and pressing kisses against Historia’s cheeks. Ymir ignores Historia’s giggled protests and the fact that she’s getting mud on her lips, only stopping once she’s satisfactorily smothered Historia’s face with kisses.

“Ugh, you’re such a mess,” Historia says, but she smiles as she plucks tissues from a nearby tissue box to lovingly dab away mud from Ymir’s lips.

Bertholdt looks over with an amused expression. “How sweet. I guess it is true that Ogres and onions are unexpectedly sweet.”

“Excuse you,” Ymir sniffs. “Ogres and onions are similar in that we are both very complexly layered. Do we need to have another Shrek movie marathon or would you rather I recite the script for all four films to you in their entirety?”

“Can I choose neither?” Bertholdt asks. They’ve all been through both scenarios before and while it is amusing, it’s also rather time consuming.

“I am also a complexly layered being,” Reiner says, still stuck on the previous conversation. He reaches over and tugs on the elbow of Bertholdt’s robe, a childish habit he adopts whenever he’s trying to capture his boyfriend’s attention. He has a devilish smile on his face as he rises from his seat to bracket Bertholdt against the couch with his arms. “Watch me.”

Ymir and Historia laugh in delighted amusement as Reiner proceeds to kiss Bertholdt in the same reckless manner that Ymir had kissed Historia while Bertholdt yelps in surprise.

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

All four friends are currently at an antique shop trying to find the weirdest thing they can find. Reiner has a mountain of items filling his basket, deciding that he can pick one at random and still win this competition or at least place second. Bertholdt is trying to decide between two strange things: a weird Frankenstein stuffed animal made up of parts of various other stuffed animals that aren’t even the same species or a hideous Nicolas Cage sequin pillow. If you flip the sequins on the Nicholas Cage pillow, it’s an even more zoomed in version of the same photo. Ymir is very convinced that she’s already chosen the best item, a T-Rex head wall mount that she had spotted from across the store when they had first walked in. She had zoomed through aisles of second-hand clothes and odd knickknacks and plucked the wall mount from the hook it was hanging from. She hadn’t bothered to look for anything else because she was so assured that victory was in her hands. Reiner also thinks that it's highly likely Ymir is going to purchase the T-Rex regardless of whether she wins or not even though purchasing the item is not a requirement for this competition. Out of the group of friends, it seems that only Historia is struggling to find an item for the game.

Despite the plethora of odd novelty items at their disposal, anything completely out of the ordinary seems to elude Historia. At best, she can find the most mundane items. At worst, she finds things that are strange but quite impressive, like the glass egg cuber that Reiner is considering buying to make his salads more interesting.

“Are you trying to lose on purpose because it seems like you’re trying to lose on purpose,” Reiner snickers as he sees Historia looking at a shelf of perfectly cute salt and pepper shakers.

“Shut up,” Historia grumbles. She reaches towards the back of the shelf only to pluck out a pair of ceramic shakers shaped like birds. They look absolutely adorable, but Historia throws her head back and groans when she sees them before placing them back grumpily. She continues to scour more shelves, an angry pout on her face.

Bertholdt follows behind, inspecting the shelf that Historia had just abandoned. He spots the shakers that Historia had looked at and admires them. “You’re really good at picking things out, Historia. If we were having a competition to find the most amazing thing at a thrift store, I bet you’d win.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Historia frowns. “It’s not working.”

Ymir appears behind Historia with the T-Rex head tucked underneath her arm. She reaches out to give her girlfriend a comforting massage against her shoulder blades. “You just have a talent you can’t ignore, Historia, and it’s a good thing you do. Don’t think of it as a bad thing. Think about how cute our apartment looks. Remember how you wouldn’t let me pick out stuff for our place unsupervised? You don’t know how grateful I am for that. It looks so amazing thanks to your eye for décor. In fact, I think having a T-Rex head mounted over our dining table would pull everything together and bring out all the subtle gold accents of the wallpaper you selected.”

Historia is too busy scouring the aisles to listen properly and just mumbles in agreement. Ymir mouths, “Yes!” excitedly and pumps her fist in victory. Historia will probably come to regret not paying more attention to her girlfriend.

“I guess you’re just cursed with good taste,” Reiner snickers. “Who knew it would cripple you at such a pivotal moment?”

“Stop rushing me. The game isn’t even over yet,” Historia snaps. She rifles through the contents of the current shelf before giving up and heading towards the clothing section. She scans the rack with an expert eye, spending less than five seconds on each rack before moving onto the next one. She stops by the jeans section, but Reiner has already been there before, and he hadn’t seen anything odd in the rows and rows of denim when he had inspected them, so it surprises him when Historia pulls out a pair with a triumphant expression on her face. “I got it!”

Her friends crowded around her, confused. There doesn’t seem to be anything out of the ordinary with the jeans that she holds up, at least not from the front. They all squint, looking up the denim up and down to see if there is something that they perhaps missed but they still fail to see why Historia is so convinced that these jeans will lead her to the path of victory.

“What is it?” Ymir finally asks.

“Assless pants.” Historia doesn’t elaborate. She only holds the jeans out further to them, but it still isn’t clear what she’s talking about.

The three are speechless with surprise, unsure if they have heard her correctly.

“Assless pants?” Reiner repeats.

“As in the fabric was worn down at the seat and they were given away or -” Bertholdt begins to ask, but Historia interrupts him.

“They don’t have an ass,” she says, and proceeds to turn over the pants so that her friends can finally see the back side.

A look at the back of the jeans does reveal that they indeed do not have an ass. Where there should be denim covering the backside, are two pieces of plastic covering the ass cheeks to ensure that the wearer’s rump will be in full view. Why anyone would ever make jeans like these is anyone’s guess.

Historia gestures for Ymir to follow her with the T-Rex head before confidently walking towards the cash register. She tosses her head back to tell her friends, “I think we can agree that I’ve won this challenge. Let’s check out our items and have a little celebratory dinner. Reiner is paying.”

Historia’s victory is indisputable, but Reiner is still confused as to why she’s purchasing the pants.

“For you to wear, of course,” Historia replies when Reiner asks. There’s a smug smirk on her lips. “I’m buying it as a consolation prize to you, the loser.”

“Fine, I’ll do it gladly because my ass looks amazing,” Reiner says through gritted teeth.

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

Reiner and Historia bump into each other in front of their tea shop. They smile at each other icily and race to open the door for the other, insisting that the other person goes first. After fighting in front of the tea shop for a few minutes, the two of them end up squishing through the front doors together, elbowing each other as they make their way through. They continue to bicker as they make their way to their usual table, but their steps falter when they realize that there are two unexpected guests seated at their usual spot. Bertholdt sits fussing with the cloth napkin in his lap, looking down because he’s unable to look them in the eye. Ymir, however, looks as if she was expecting them and gestures for Reiner and Historia to take their seats across from them.

“What are you two doing here together?” Reiner asks. Ymir and Bertholdt also have their own platonic play dates without Historia and Reiner, but they tend to enjoy different activities like playing videogames and reading manga. “I thought afternoon tea wasn’t your thing.”

Ymir shrugs, popping a finger sandwich in her mouth. She doesn’t even finish chewing before speaking. “It’s not, but we wanted to talk with you two. We’re having an intervention.”

Reiner and Historia exchange glances.

“What for? We haven’t done anything,” Historia says.

Bertholdt twists the napkin in his lap, still unable to look up. He mumbles as he speaks. He’s never liked conflict. “We’ve become aware that arranging double dates has become something of a competition between you two and we’re worried that it’s destroying your relationship.”

Reiner and Historia protest and insist that that’s not the case, but it’s clear from their guilty expressions that they are aware of what Ymir and Bertholdt are referring to.

“Okay, we’re competing to see who’s the better romantic partner by throwing fabulous double dates. Is that a crime?” Reiner says, throwing his hands up in defeat over being found out.

“No, but we’re worried it’s bringing you more pain than pleasure,” Ymir says. As she speaks, she continues to pluck various food items from the afternoon tea spread in front of them and pop them in her mouth. Seeing as Bertholdt is too anxious to eat, it must be Ymir who has devoured the majority of the meal on the table.

“I assure you that’s not the case,” Reiner tells Ymir. “It brings me so much pleasure. Every week, I look forward to destroying Historia in the art of romance. It gives me almost as much pleasure as making love to Bertholdt, the love of my life.”

Bertholdt looks absolutely mortified. He buries his face in his hands, but they aren’t large enough to cover his scarlet ears.

“Okay, but you two do know that this shouldn’t be a game, right?” Ymir asks. Other patrons had looked over in shock at Reiner’s words, some even covering their children’s ears, but Ymir is unfazed by her friend’s crudeness. “We’re all just dating, having fun, falling deeper in love with our significant others. And love isn’t a game, right?”

Historia and Reiner nod. Both of their faces have become incredibly serious.

“No, you’re absolutely right. Love isn’t a game,” Historia agrees. She reaches over to hold one of Ymir’s hands, ignoring the crumbs all over her girlfriend’s fingers. “But if it were, and I’m only saying this hypothetically, then wouldn’t you agree that I would be absolutely winning?”

“What? No, you wouldn’t!” Reiner squawks, turning toward Historia indignantly. “My weird antique shopping date was infinitely better than your spa day. I even wore those weird assless pants for you. You could tell that story to people over dinner ten times over and they still wouldn’t get tired of it.”

Historia snorts. She tosses her hair over her shoulder with of a roll of her eyes and says, “I would hardly want to talk to people about your ass hanging out of those pants over dinner. They’d all lose their appetites at the mere mention of you wearing something so hideous.”

“You were the one who insisted I wear those pants to dinner outside!” Reiner argues, his raised voice attracting even more attention from other patrons.

The two continue to bicker, completely forgetting Ymir and Bertholdt seated across from them. Bertholdt looks nervous as he watches the two argue back and forth, but Ymir continues to devour finger sandwiches without concern.

“Shouldn’t we stop them?” he asks, his fingers hovering nervously near his mouth. He rises as if to ready himself to physically separate Historia and Reiner.

“Nah, they’re just like this,” Ymir says with a shake of her head. She raises her hand to flag down a nearby waitress for more finger sandwiches. Even though she looks completely out of place in her ratty T-shirt and ripped jeans, she looks completely comfortable.

Bertholdt sighs. He leans back resignedly against the couch, but his eyebrow is still furrowed with worry. He looks exhausted just watching Reiner and Historia argue. “I’m glad we’re nothing like them.”

“Amen,” Ymir agrees.

#snk #yumihisu #yumikuri #reibert #modern au #asks #answered #anon #anonymous #requests #me writing this at 2AM: wow i am the most hilarious person in the world #thanks for the ask!#it's nice people still enjoy my writing enough to request things

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