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rafaelhr17arts · 5 months ago

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[18+] Bits n’ Pieces #1

Bits n’ Pieces is a compilation of stories with no chronological order that follows certain events in the lives of Lapis Lazuli and Peridot in an alternative universe where Gems are humans.

(Warning: the following story contains sensitive topics, so be warned!

Jaspis shippers be warned: you guys won't like what I have wrote lol)

In a party room in Beach City, Steven Universe was celebrating his 18th birthday with his friends and family, and our protagonists Lapis and Peridot arrived together a little late. Upon arriving, they were well received by their colleagues Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst and Bismuth. Peridot couldn't contain her excitement at seeing Amethyst again after some time without seeing her best childhood friend and they started chatting, meanwhile Lapis talked to the others and asked them about Steven, then Pearl, Garnet and Bismuth told Lapis where to find Steven, so Lapis told Peridot to go meet Steven, and despite the good conversation, Peridot agrees and the two say goodbye to their friends for now and go out to congratulate the birthday boy.

As they walked around the room, both observed the people around them, some they knew and others they didn't, they were surprised that, despite his age, Steven was a very popular boy. Upon finding Steven, the two wished him a happy birthday and gave him a gift that the two had bought together. Steven thanked them for coming and was very grateful for the gift and invited the two to enjoy the party as much as they wanted and as long as they wanted, and while the boy spoke, Lapis looked to the side and saw a tall and strong figure with long orange hair and the moment she recognized her, the same figure looked back at Lapis with a look of astonishment and confusion, Lapis at that moment was overcome by a feeling of tension and nervousness, and Steven realized that there was something wrong with her and, when looking in the direction he was looking, he understood everything.

I saw that you noticed Jasper's presence here, right Lapis? - Steven said, visibly embarrassed.

Jasper's here? - Peridot asked in surprise.

Steven, sorry to ask but why was she invited? - Lapis asked a little frustrated

I know what happened between you and her in the past and I wouldn't have invited her if she hadn't changed, I talked to her recently and she has been seeking help and it seems to me that she has changed a lot, in one of our conversations I ended up mentioning that my birthday was coming up, and as she had been quite friendly and kind, naturally I invited her to come. I'm sorry for the discomfort, if I can do anything...

Before Steven finished speaking, Lapis interrupted him by placing her hand on his shoulder.

No need to worry Steven, it's okay, today is your birthday and I don't want to ruin it. If you say she has changed, I believe you! - Lapis said, confident in her words.

And don't forget that I'm here as Ms. Lazuli's private security guard here. - Peridot said with a comedic tone, making everyone laugh.

Ok, ok, then I'll go, there are more people arriving and I want to make sure that whoever arrives feels comfortable. Lapis, if you have any problems, please let me know or let Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst, and Bismuth know.

After Steven walked away, Lapis let out a big sigh.

Peridot, I want to go to the terrace and see the landscape, the night is beautiful today and you know that I don't feel comfortable in spaces with a lot of people around. Why don't you spend some time with Amethyst, it's been a while since you don't see each other right?

But Lapis, are you sure you want to be alone? - Peridot said worriedly, she made a gesture of covering her face and whispered.

Even more so knowing that Jasper is here?

You can rest assured Peridot, I can take care of myself, and Jasper wouldn't have the nerve to appear in front of me, right? - Lapis said in order to reassure Peridot.

Okay, but come back soon, you hear? If not I'm going to have to pick you up, whether you like it or not, don't forget that I'm secretly your private security - Peridot winks with one eye, Lapis laughs

Don't brag about that or I'll fire you, huh! Now go talk to Amethyst, I won't take long.

So Peridot goes in search of Amethyst while Lapis continues on her way to the terrace, she looks around on her way to the terrace and doesn't find Jasper, leaving her more relieved. When she gets close to the terrace, she finds Pearl.

Hi Pearl, do you have a cigarette?

Oh hi... are you sure Lapis? Didn't you say you had stopped smoking? I don't think this is a good idea... is everything okay? - Said Pearl, confused and worried.

Don't worry Pearl, it'll be just one and... I recently started smoking again, so there's no way you can ruin me since I'm not clean. - Lapis says anxiously, because she knows it's a lie.

I'm sorry, but no, I won't do that! - Said Pearl confidently

Come on Pearl, please, you've never refused before, what do you want, for me to get on my knees begging? Come on, it's just one and I'll never ask you again!! - Lapis begged to Pearl.

Hunf… okay, take one, but this is the last time you hear me? And honestly, I'm disappointed, I was confident that you would stop with it for good, and for a moment, I believed it. I know I'm not the best example, but I don't see myself leaving rock bottom anytime soon... - Pearl said with deep remorse.

Don't be so hard on yourself, I know you'll get over this one day... - Lapis said with her hand on Pearl's left shoulder

You can go, isn't it the terrace where you're going to? - Pearl said, upset, crossing her arms.

Lapis walked towards the terrace with her head down, but for a moment she stopped, turned around and shouted

PEARL, can I borrow the lighter?

After Pearl, visibly uncomfortable, lends her the lighter, Lapis finally arrives on the terrace and as expected, the night was beautiful with the starry sky and the full moon illuminating the city. She turns on the lighter and before lighting the cigarette, she hesitates for a moment, she sighs and lights the cigarette in her mouth and starts to smoke.

A few minutes passed and Lapis remains on the terrace, alone with only her thoughts and her cigarette, which was almost finished, until someone arrives at the place. Lapis hears doors opening, and despite wanting to be wrong, she has a clear idea of who it is.

Lapis!? - An imposing voice flew into the space, and Lapis, uncomfortable and slightly irritated, responded.

What do you want, Jasper? - Lapis says with a melancholic tone, keeping her eyes on the stars

How long has it been, I mean, I know you've been avoiding me, you've never answered me on the phone or responded to any of my messages since that day... - Jasper said, approaching Lapis

Really, have you ever asked yourself why? - Lapis responds with a mocking tone

Look, I know you're mad at me and I think it's understandable after everything that happened, that's why I came here to look up for you. - Jasper said, already next to Lapis

Did you come to Steven's birthday party just for this? There was nothing better to do? - Lapis takes one last drag before throwing and stepping on the cigarette.

It wasn't just because of that, I like the boy and would come anyway, but yes, I also expected to find you here. By the way, you're still smoking, I heard you have stopped smoking.

Yes… I have stopped. - Lapis looks at Jasper with disgust, Jasper was overcome by a feeling of guilt.

I'm sorry Lapis, I'm really sorry, for everything I did to you, I was a terrible girlfriend to you and what you said to me that day got stuck in my mind for days, I've never felt so bad... - Jasper spoke with regret in her words, and Lapis heard her while staring straight ahead.

I have sought psychological help to deal with my anger disorders since then. I have been attending consultations for almost a year and I feel that my temperament is much better. Everything I did since then I did with the thought about the possibility of you forgiving me.

Lapis thought about everything Jasper had said, and amid conflicting thoughts, she looked at Jasper again.

I... I'm glad to know, Jasper, I'm happy for you... - Jasper for a moment opens a small smile

But I don't know if I can forgive you, a lot of shit has happened in my life since that day too. Every time I think about it... It's like a wound that never heals... I'm sorry.

After Lapis finishes her speech, she looks away melancholic, leaving Jasper out of her field of vision. Jasper was negatively surprised by the outcome, so much so that she stood still for a few seconds processing what had happened and when she realized it, she held Lapis' hand and knelt down.

What are you doing? - Lapis asked, surprised by what was happening.

Please Lapis, forgive me, you don't understand, I went through all this for you, you are the reason I still have the strength to fight, please don't do this to me. - Jasper was begging with the look of pity that penetrated Lapis' guilty eyes.

Jasper, I don't... - Before finishing, Jasper stands up.

Please Lapis, come back to me, that's all I want, and I know you want it too, think about it, you love me!! - Jasper held Lapis' hands tighter and tighter.

Let go of me... you're wrong about me - Lapis said, trying to free herself from Jasper with a look of astonishment.

At that moment, Peridot arrives at the scene and sees the situation, she runs towards the two and pulls Lapis' arms with all her strength, managing to separate the two.

Who do you think you are, shorty? You have nothing to do with this! - Jasper said, angry with Peridot.

For your knowledge, tough clown, I'm her girlfriend, and I won't let you touch her again, do you understand? - Peridot says furiously.

Is this true Lapis? Haha, this has to be a joke, a runt like that thinks she scares me... - Jasper increasingly approached Peridot with a violent look.

Lapis, in disbelief at what was happening and afraid of something happening to Peridot, decides to put an end to the discussion.

STOP! - Lapis shouts, at the same time they both looked at her.

Peridot, move away - Lapis said approaching Jasper, Peridot doesn't move but Lapis pushes her back and comes face to face with Jasper.

Don't you dare lay a finger on her! I hope to never see your face again, do you hear me? Get out of here, get out of her life, GET OUT OF MY LIFE, do you understand? If I happen to see you one more time, I SWEAR that I will finally report you for sexually abusing me back then, are we understood? Now get out of here, I don't care where you go, you're dead to me from today onwards...

After Lapis finished speaking, she felt her heart tighten intensely, she turned around with the aim of not looking at Jasper again, who was stunned by Lapis' words, with her head down, Jasper went to the terrace door, opened it and just as she was leaving, she spoke.

Lapis, I…

And before finishing any thought, Peridot closes the door tightly. After the door slams shut, Lapis falls to her knees in tears, tears falling in painful screams. Peridot ran over to comfort Lapis, she sat up and hugged her.

It's okay Lapis, it's okay, everything is going to be okay…

---------------------The End---------------------

Few..., this is a lot, right? If you read the entire thing, thank you so much, hope you enjoyed the reading! As it said in the beginning, this will be a series of different stories exploring mainly Lapis and Peridot in my human AU, so I might post others stories soon, who knows ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

I'm planning to transform this into a comic, but I don't know when I'll do it or if I can do it honestly.

Well, Thanks again!!

#lapidot #peridot #su peridot #lapis lazuli #su lapis #steven universe #fanfic #fanfiction #human au #alternate universe #embarrassed i came back into writing fanfics lol

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dykejasper · 3 months ago

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Crooked Trajectory [SU fanfic]

Chapter Two - "Destabilized" - Lapis POV (link to chapter 1) AO3 Chapter 2 Link Jasper's sudden, unannounced arrival to Little Homeworld throws Lapis mentally off-balance, and she struggles with guilt, fear of abandonment, and self hatred. Amethyst gets her high to cope and Peridot finally hears the ugly truth. Rating: Mature CW: abuse, confinement, torture, choking, drowning, suicidal ideation, substance use (gem weed, lol), discussions surrounding trauma

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Wide yellow eyes with pupils narrow as pins stared, unblinking, between wet tendrils of white hair that snaked over clammy skin. The beast was motionless for the first time in weeks. The tense calm was unnerving, and Lapis knew better than to let her mind wander for even a moment.

Jasper's tired voice cracked when she asked, "Why don't you end this?"

Lapis ignored her, focused on maintaining their bond while shutting off access to her mind. She already leaked too much when she got distracted, and she couldn’t risk giving Jasper any more of herself.

When they first fused, Jasper tried to split away, but Lapis quickly figured out how to apply water chains within Malachite to match those on the outside, binding their light so she couldn’t leave. She thrashed, yanked, bit the chains, twisted, kicked, roared violent threats and obscene insults; none of it mattered. Lapis always made it worse for her, getting creative with water gags that wouldn’t allow enough air for her to speak or a fist of water around her throat, yanking her into the foul green pool below with a cruel snap of force and holding her there. It was exhausting, but Lapis endured with grim satisfaction. All that flashy muscle meant nothing against the power of a planet’s ocean in her hands.

After Steven infiltrated their space, rage choked all other emotion out of Malachite. Lapis was distracted, disoriented -- worried that Steven was still near, somehow. Jasper yanked their chains with enough force to throw her forward, slamming her face into the pool floor and knocking the wind from her lungs.

She knew Jasper was only a few short strides away from ripping her apart and she scrambled to get up. Her legs slipped and slid as she kicked herself away, coughing and spitting out water. Jasper was smiling and had a crazed look in her eyes. Her voice was hoarse and soft when she said, “You’re not protecting Rose, you lying, traitorous brat.”

In her panic to fly away as far as their chains would allow, narrowly avoiding a swipe of deadly claws, Lapis let her guard down. Her mental barrier dropped, and she couldn’t control the flow of her memories.

In that brief moment, Jasper watched her emerge from the mirror in front of Steven, cracked and panicked and significantly limited in ability, but still more than capable of building an ocean tower into the edge of Earth’s atmosphere. Still capable of destroying the Crystal Gems and multiple humans, had Steven not begged her to stop. She would have enjoyed destroying the gems that kept her prisoner and tried to stop Steven from releasing her and would have delighted in their shattering -- if Steven hadn’t cared about them so much. She owed him her freedom, and him alone.

Lapis shook her wet hair out of her eyes and glared up at Jasper with every bit of hate she could harness, allowing her shatter-lust to pulse through them both with every beat of their fused heart. Steadying the quiver in her voice and forcing it cold as ice, she said, “I’m protecting him from us. You deserve this just as much as I do.”

Something in Jasper changed after that. Lapis had no clue how many hours of quiet they’d had, but it was stressing her out more than fighting. It could all be an act to make her drop her defenses again, and Lapis wouldn’t be tricked. Though it was getting hard to ignore the prickling anxiety that made her stomach twist and the tiny voice in the back of her mind telling her she made the wrong choice.

"Shouldn't be hard for you to shatter me. I won't even fight back... unless you want me to."

Lapis felt hot venom flood her veins and she clenched her fists, tightening the chains that held Jasper. Their hearts raced like opposing war drums, out of sync and messy. It'd be very easy.

And then what? Go back to Homeworld? Run back to the Crystal Gems and beg for their forgiveness? This was her purpose now. This was where she belonged -- crushed under cold, dark, abrasive sea and locked to one of the few gems more pathetic than herself. The chains got even tighter as Lapis’ fingers involuntarily clenched.

"Just do it already, you pathetic coward.” Jasper stumbled forward, her eyes wide and a terrifying, manic smile on her face that turned her blood to ice. “You want to, I can feel it! I want you to—”

"Shut up!" Lapis shot a thick tendril of water down Jasper’s throat, coiling it down her neck and clenching her fist. Blind panic bubbled up in Malachite while Jasper thrashed against her chains, her lungs flooding.

She'd never lose consciousness like an organic life form from asphyxiation or drowning, of course. But a gem’s survival instincts were designed to suit colonizing predators likely to meet physical resistance. If you threatened a gem’s physical form, they could really feel it, and would react accordingly.

Lapis could feel it, too. She could feel every painful, oppressive, horrible thing she did to Jasper, but that was fine with her. She owed it to Steven to stay and atone for what she did. Jasper wouldn’t even be on Earth if wasn’t for Lapis running back to Homeworld, expecting it to be her home after all that time.

She felt a powerful pull to crush Jasper’s gem when she said “I want you to;” an impulse that came from Jasper herself. Was she really that desperate, that she could overpower Malachite for that...? No, just willing to do anything to make me lose focus. The gnawing anxiety in the pit of her stomach spiked.

She crouched next to Jasper, swallowing down an intense choking sensation and watching her thrash up close. Impressive how this one turned out, considering the careless job done with her Kindergarten. Lapis was the one who cut the canyon that became her kindergarten – a panicked order coming from the top demanding a canyon far from where the Crystal Gem home base was, ignoring all other structural factors. It was there that she was poofed during a raid by the Crystal Gems, the day the Beta Kindergartners began emerging. She knew that wasn’t Jasper’s fault, but… it sure felt like it was.

She released the coil and Jasper collapsed forward and heaved up water, gasping for air while Lapis gently swept the wet hair from her pained face. She was soft -- loving, almost -- as she said, "You could feel how much I loved doing that, couldn’t you? Don’t worry about your gem. I don’t make a habit of breaking my things.”

That memory made Lapis want to claw her own throat open. You're a fucking monster.

Jasper’s eventual arrival in Little Homeworld was something she tried to prepare herself for. She had a thousand conversations in her own mind, repeating scenarios on loop compulsively. It was exhausting how angry she’d get over imaginary confrontations and blowouts with a gem that only existed in her memory.

None of her obsessive rumination included Jasper getting shattered. Finding out about that horrified Lapis, forcing her back into foul memories that she’d managed to avoid for a long time. What’d she finally do that pushed Steven to shatter her?

They were totally different gems in a totally different timeline from when they were fused. She vividly remembered the urges to shatter her own gem that Jasper shoved down when they were Malachite. She usually had no reaction to the impulse, thanks to thousands of years of Homeworld conditioning. She was taught that her only value as a gem from a defective kindergarten was her overwhelming strength and tenacity in the face of extreme torture and isolation, and she believed it to the point of pride. She was very good at pretending it didn’t bother her.

But, sometimes, the crushing darkness of the ocean was too much for the both of them, and they dwelled on their worst desires and impulses. Jasper was interested in being shattered long before Malachite. Her agate often described how the other Betas were shattered, and Jasper was left wondering what it felt like, if it was freedom of any sort. She never seemed to consider her agate might have been lying – most of her Kindergarten was unshattered on the Zoo ship. It was ironic that she achieved her goal, just to be dragged back to deal with the life she objected to.

Did she feel differently, now that she’d experienced it? Overwhelmingly, repaired gems reported their time being shattered as utterly miserable, a state of painful disconnect. The light that holds a gem’s consciousness refracts all over with no ability to connect, unable to repair itself, and unable to split away from the shards themselves. Like the human myth of purgatory, or how some humans speak of distressed spirits unable to achieve peace after their body’s death.

As shitty as all of that was, Lapis wished she could deal with it somewhere far, far away from her. Another planet, maybe. Jersey, perhaps. She’d like it there.

But she wasn’t in Jersey, no. She was leaning up against the wall of Bismuth’s shop, for some reason – arms crossed, staring off at nothing. Where is Bismuth...?

Lapis had been watching her from behind a sign for a few minutes in a state of disbelieving dissociation. At first, she was worried maybe she was hallucinating, but she looked like an entirely different gem from when they were fused – certainly not the version of Jasper that haunted her nightmares. She looked broken. Her corruption scars reminded Lapis so much of Malachite in color. She gazed absently at the broken horn jutting from Jasper's wild mane and wondered if she ever thought the same. Lapis would never forget that sickly green hell they shared.

Maybe it wasn’t her place to wonder at all. But after Steven corrupted himself out of sheer despair, well… There was no reason to believe corruption was a physical contagion a gem could contract from fusion. Corruption was a manifestation of the deepest despair turned physical, and despite all Jasper had been through, all the centuries of Homeworld torture before they ever met, her corruption scars resembled Malachite more than anything.

Her stomach twisted and she was overcome with a sudden and confusing rage that threatened to boil over into something physical. Nobody even told Lapis she was supposed to show up that day, that she was there already, right outside of Bismuth’s shop! She tried shoving down the voice that screamed and Steven fucking shattered her!! It was too much too fast; she couldn’t even remember where she was headed or what she was doing. She formed wings and took to the sky, flying hard and fast for the warp pad with tears stinging her eyes.

Why couldn't Jasper have gone literally anywhere else?!

The precarious happiness and stability Lapis built after destroying the barn was crumbling, and she had nobody to blame but herself. They didn’t have to say it directly. She knew they all saw her as a victim deserving pity, and she hated that. More than that, though: she hated the thought of her friends learning to fear her true self and abandoning her. That would be so much worse. They’d struggle to accept that she enjoyed keeping Jasper fused to her, forced to endure torture for torture’s sake. Forced to atone for the sins of other gems while Lapis wallowed in her own self-serving guilt and misery, redirecting her hatred of them onto the first gem to get in her way.

She landed hard on the warp pad; stumbling, gritting her teeth and blinking away tears, she warped away without directional thought. Things are better now. I'm better now. But if that was true, why did seeing Jasper make her feel so unstable so fast? Maybe because she was fucking shattered! Her chest clenched and a sob slipped past her lips – she couldn’t inhale. Lapis just wanted to feel nothing about her, why couldn't she just feel nothing…?

The warp stream cleared, and she was in the beach house looking at the temple door. Her stomach dropped when she realized there was no Steven to talk her down – he went to the hospital with his humans after his corruption stabilized and would likely be there for a while.

Selfish of her to turn to him right then, anyway. What a horrible friend she was for trying to bother him about this during his time of need. She turned to collapse on the couch and nearly jumped out of her skin when she made unexpected eye contact with Amethyst. There were bags under her eyes as she lay with her neck bent badly; phone in one hand and lit blunt trailing smoke from the other; surrounded by a mess of snack trash with a tablet laying forgotten on her belly, looping the Stardew Valley menu music. She held out the blunt in offering, saying, “Dude. You need this more than me.”

“So, you knew? Why didn’t you fucking say something to me?” She hated how shaky her voice was. Pathetic. The rage that’d reared up in her slowly fizzled away and was replaced with festering shame and disgust. She moved forward and snatched the blunt from Amethyst’s outstretched fingers and took a long drag, savoring the grounding burn that tore at her throat. She hated this stuff – a hybrid of earth cannabis, altered with Blue Diamond’s essence to heavily impact gems – but she needed something. Her eyes slid closed as she resisted the need to exhale. The desperate impulse to take in clean air was deliciously familiar.

“Damn, Pearl said she was going to text-- you didn’t hear from her at all?” Amethyst snatched the blunt back and Lapis exhaled, watching the swirls of smoke trail away. Her insides felt like ice, and she had nobody to blame but herself.

“I blocked her two years ago,” she admitted, and Amethyst choked, coughing out the hit she just took until a laugh made it through the gagging.

“Bro! I’m sorry, that’s so funny!” Lapis smiled in spite of herself; she couldn’t be mad at Amethyst for her own inability to tolerate Pearl’s newsletter texts. Amethyst said, chuckling, “I wish I could block Pearl sometimes.”

She slipped the blunt from Amethyst and put it to her lips, standing up and pacing while vacuuming down the burning smoke, grateful for something physically distracting. She hated how sick she felt. The weed was kind of helping, but not enough. She kept smoking, hoping she’d level out eventually. Numb was ideal right now.

“I don’t think she’s going to, like, do anything stupid, you know?” Amethyst’s voice was suddenly tense -- serious. “I thought I had the past all sorted, and I know healing isn’t linear, or, whatever, but I can’t stop feeling like things are just as bad as they used to be. Y’know. Back then.”

Lapis passed back the blunt in stiff fingers, blowing out her own cloud of smoke and feeling her scalp begin to tingle, spreading a buzzing warmth down every nerve until her toes tingled. She slowly pieced together, “I think… I need Peridot.”

Amethyst mumbled, “You and me both,” and took a quick puff off the blunt, blowing the smoke out quickly and pulling out her phone, typing one-handed.

The smoke curling from the ashen tip was making Lapis’ eyes burn. I miss Peridot. She plucked the blunt back from Amethyst, nearly finishing it off in one long pull that burned her throat raw. The strain and ache and fire from holding it all in as long as she could tolerate was a beautiful distraction. She wished she had booze so she could add more types of burn to the mix. What if nothing terrible happens? What if something good happens?

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t ready for this,” Lapis said thickly, struggling to hold back tears now that she was high, inhaling deep and exhaling slowly.

“Listen… I feel you. Literally nobody in my life has come for me the way Jasper did, and I’m still fucked up about it. I don’t blame you for feeling messy right now,” Amethyst said, setting aside her phone and staring out the window.

Lapis didn’t know what to say. She was pretty sure she’d done far, far worse things to Jasper than Jasper did to Amethyst. Lapis hated that everyone saw her as a victim of Jasper’s and would likely assume that was the source of her distress. Jasper wasn’t anywhere close to the worst gem Lapis had encountered -- though she was one of the most pathetic. Aside from me.

She wiped her face, angry at herself. She felt like she was regressing into old thinking patterns, but she didn’t feel like she had the power to stop it. The warp exploded with light and Peridot tumbled towards her, panting; saying between heavy breaths, “I got here as fast as I could! Lapis, are you okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Lapis said, irritated, suddenly wishing she was completely alone. Why?

“I can’t believe she just. Showed up here! And now Bismuth is on gemsitting duty, and soon we’ll all have to deal with her,” Peridot said, rolling her eyes.

“Must be terrible for you. I’m sure you know exactly how I feel,” Lapis said, any hint of humor behind the sarcasm gone and replaced with pure venom. She could see herself unraveling in real-time, and she was horrified that she couldn’t stop it. Amethyst looked up from her phone, her eyebrows raised, and Peridot looked suddenly terrified.

“I didn’t say that! I have no idea how you feel about this specific topic,” Peridot said, twisting her hands together. “You’ve never talked about this! And you don’t have to right now, but… Lapis, I’m afraid of losing you again.”

It’s like everything inside her was screaming for her to lash out at Peridot harder. Give her a reason to want Lapis gone before she finds her own reasons.

Peridot would never do that. She’s begging for you to stay in her life, even after everything you’ve done to her. And then Lapis broke down, her guilt overflowing; sobbing into her hands helplessly, repeating again and again, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”

And they were both comforting her, reassuring her, promising that they loved her; she believed them. She was still sorry to put them in this position at all -- of having to love a monster like her. She’d just hurt them again and again until they were worn down to a shell of who they once were. Isolation was the safest place for her, really.

In the deep dark of early morning, Lapis and Peridot sat together under the stars, listening to the soundtrack of some anime that Peridot kept begging Lapis to watch. They hadn’t spoken for some time, and Peridot was fiddling with an old Gameboy when Lapis finally spoke, her voice tight. “That was embarrassing. I haven’t lost control like that in… years. I’m sorry I scared you.”

Peridot put down the Gameboy immediately and said, “No, no, I’m sorry that I made it about me when it wasn’t. I just don’t know what’s okay to say about any of this, and that’s hard, because now we can’t just avoid the subject. The subject is too big and loud to avoid.”

“I feel insane that I can be in the same room as Blue Diamond and feel… nothing. Not bad, not mad, not sad -- not happy, either. But Jasper showing up throws me into a spiral worse than any I’ve had since... maybe the one where I took the barn? I can see why that messes you up,” Lapis said with a frown, misery churning in her belly like nausea.

Peridot shrugged and wove it off. “Can I ask questions? You can pass on any that are too hard.” She was nervous again – twisting the corner of the oversized T–shirt she was wearing today into a wrinkled mess. That made Lapis feel even shittier. Peridot, of all gems, was at least owed the ability to ask her any question she ever wanted.

“Shoot.”

“You’ve told me so much about the mirror, about your feelings for the Crystal Gems initially, especially Pearl. But almost nothing about this. Was this fusion really worse than the mirror?”

“Yes... and no,” Lapis said, staring at the shimmering stars, nearly blotted out by Earth’s light pollution. She’d thought about it a lot and was ready for that one. “The mirror is something that was done to me. Something I had no control over, just another casualty of insane Diamond drama. Another victim of the war. It was the worst – I was conscious the whole time, I – nothing compares to the mirror. But Malachite… was entirely in my control.”

“But you were just trying to stop Jasper from hurting the Crystal Gems. That’s what Steven told me, when you were still… with her,” Peridot said, seeming to doubt herself more with every word. Lapis’ heart raced; she felt sick.

“When he was still a kid? Garnet just beat her within an inch of poofing, and she begged me to fuse to save herself. She couldn’t have made me fuse against my will, which is why she used the Crystal Gems to try to persuade me. Take them down together, get revenge on the evils done to us both by them,” Lapis said, feeling it all pour out of her like Spinel’s injector poisoning the Earth. Talking about it felt good, but she knew the truth was terrible.

“I hated all of them, all of you -- everyone except Steven. And I couldn’t hurt the Crystal Gems if I didn’t want to hurt Steven, but I could take it all out on Jasper, easy. And she was stupid enough to bring up the mirror, and stupid enough to try to stop me from leaving. I wondered if she knew what being trapped so helplessly felt like.” Lapis paused, hating herself. “I could have poofed her, shattered her, punched her across the planet, flung her into space, any number of things -- but then what? Live with the gems who kept me in that mirror?”

She put her face in her hands, exhausted; afraid to see the horror in Peridot’s eyes whenever it clicked that she was an irredeemable monster. She felt like a shriveled-up husk and wondered, with a sense of irony, if throwing herself in the salty ocean would give back the energy that crying took out of her.

“And so, you feel… bad? That you did that?” Peridot sounded genuinely confused. Lapis nearly laughed but was too tired. At least she developed beyond her old habit of rattling off replies and advice fueled by assumptions. She looked her in the eyes, imploring; determined to make her understand. Still afraid to see her understand, but she needed to. Lapis needed her to.

“Peridot, if it had been you stopping me from leaving and begging me to fuse, it – yeah, I know you wouldn’t, shut up for a second and put yourself in these shoes – it would have been you, suddenly aware you can’t escape within seconds of us fusing and dragged to the deepest darkest trench of the Atlantic Ocean. I would have had access to your worst fears and memories while being too strong for you to shut me out, and I would have enjoyed using that to torture you.” There’s that flicker of fear in her eyes. Finally.

Lapis pressed on, steamrolling over the spark of panic that made her chest clench. “Every bit of suffering I put her through, I could feel as if I was doing to myself. I still get her war and Homeworld torture flashbacks as if they’re my own. It was only Jasper because she put herself in my way, and even at her strongest, she only had a fraction of my power! When we fought Alexandrite, it was because I wanted it! I wanted it so badly, and I knew Steven wasn’t there that time, and she called me on that weakness. She could never take control from me -- our fusion stabilized because we felt the same way in that moment. Bored, exhausted, and ready to shatter the Crystal Gems… whole, for the first time. Joined together without resistance or doubt, finally. And then we weren’t.”

Peridot’s shock slipped away, and she said, in all sincerity, “I’m glad I got the option to bond with you over Camp Pining Hearts instead of that option. Fusion sounds tedious.”

And Lapis laughed, feeling the hard stone shell that had formed around her heart that day burst, and she was flooded with affection for Peridot. She should have trusted the gem who called Yellow Diamond a clod to her face before Era Three to be relentlessly fearless.

Maybe her fearlessness stemmed from her youth and lack of exposure to true horrors. It was refreshing, regardless. Contagious, even. Smiling, Lapis said, “Me too, Pear. How would I understand the complexities of CPH without you?”

“Ugh, you wouldn’t! My expert analysis is fundamental to the experience,” Peridot said with an air of mock importance. Her voice slid back to her normal cadence as she said, “Thank you, also... for telling me about this. I’ve been misunderstanding your perspective for years. Understanding you is important to me.”

“Even if my perspective is really, really dark?” Who does she think I am, really?

“You’ve always been a little dark, I guess? The Lapis who did those things is the same Lapis that took the time to get to know me, even though she really didn’t want to. And sure, you took the barn and broke my heart, but you’re so important to me and I’d rather you remember that and always come back than leave forever out of fear or guilt.” Peridot had a warm little grin that made Lapis want to cry again. She didn’t deserve these gems. She crawled forward and kissed her gem, and then her mouth, and then her cheek.

“As long as you’re here, I won’t leave again,” Lapis promised, giving Peridot one more kiss on the gem. And she meant it, though her trust in herself was relatively low.

#su fanfic #su fanfiction #lapis #su lapis #jasper #su jasper #jaspis #amethyst #peridot #a little sprinkle of lapidot in the end #i ship. all these fools btw. just so ur aware #all of them #well. all the gems peridot's age or older.#can this fandom handle nuanced depictions yet #cuz jasper and lapis are both my faves. and amethyst and peridot and pearl and garnet actually but #zanfic

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saturn7162 · 9 months ago

Text

The Gemlings

Another fucking SU thing I wont stop unless someone asks me to write abt smth else

I love SU so much so here is a 7 page google doc on my 2 favorite gals and an oc

I could totally add more on this btw

The Crystal Gems walked over to the barn in the dead of night after hearing what sounded like a fight. As they stepped closer, the sheer smell of hormones flooded their senses. Along with the sound of hissing, chirping, growling, grunting and spitting.

“Guys?” Steven said, grabbing Garnet’s arm and looking up at her and Pearl.

“What’s going on? Is everything okay there?” He asked, worry filling his gaze.

“I’m sure it is. I recognize this type of environment. I think Lapis and Peridot are going to have geodes soon!” Pearl squealed, happily jogging up to the barn. As she came closer, she heard the sound of a deep snarl.

“Peridot? Lapis? Chrysolite?” Pearl called out to the trio that lived in the barn. She used her gem to cast light into the room, illuminating the large nest in the middle. The gems looked at each other as they saw Chrysolite, the male, being batted at by Lapis and Peridot. They hissed at him loudly, hitting his large muzzle as he tried to help with the nest.

“Chrysolite, you know you can’t be in here while your mates are nesting.” Pearl chastised, crossing her arms as she glared at him. He let out a creaky roar, sitting down with his legs out and his hands on the floor in front of him. As he reached a paw out, Lapis reached hers out, smacking it away with a growl. He gruffed and tried again, only to be hit by Peridot. He groaned and flopped onto his back, presenting his belly as a show of trust. Again, only to be met with the glares and growls of his mates.

“Come on Chrysolite, you’re spooking them.” Pearl stepped closer, only to be hissed at by all three of them and batted at by Chrysolite, who reluctantly got to his feet and left the barn, making sure to scent everything he came across. Once he was out, he closed the barn door and sat in front of it, staring at the doors as he slouched angrily.

“It’s going to be my nest too!” He shouted, crossing his arms as the two gems inside hissed at him.

“Why won’t they let me stay? They’re going to be my gemlings!” He grumbled, falling onto his stomach as he asked Pearl.

“You know why Chrysolite, it’s because they’re hormonal. You’re the sire, and sires’ hormones make them incredibly quick to violence, they just think you’re too aggressive to be around.” Pearl said, helping him up.

“But it’s my den too! I should at least get to stay!” He pouted, crossing his large arms across his chest. He bared his teeth and lashed his tail, clear signs he was not to be agitated.

“Look, you’re about to be a father and your body language is showing it too, you’re upset and until Peridot and Lapis allow you in there, you can’t be in there!” Pearl responded, looking up at the gruff looking male.

“So you’ll just have to stay with us! It’ll be like a sleepover!!” Steven shouted happily, hugging him tightly.

“Yeah, yeah I guess it will.” Chrysolite smiled and hugged him back, now walking back a little more willingly. When they got back to the temple, Chrysolite leapt into Steven’s room, snatching blankets, sheets, and pillows off the bed.

“Chrysolite?!” Pearl shouted, shocked at his actions as he threw the bedding onto the floor below. He grunted in response, taking the mattress in between his teeth and tossing down as well. He leapt off of the loft and spread the materials out, his instincts taking over as he began to build a new nest. He took the cushions and pillows off the couch as well, carefully arranging them in his new nest in the middle of the living room. He purred and walked around it on all fours, admiring his work.

“Ohhh…” Pearl exclaimed, understanding what just happened.

“You’re just nesting!” Pearl smiled and rummaged through the cabinet next to the couch, fishing out more soft textile things for Chrysolite to use. He happily took them and sprawled them out in his nest, before softly clambering inside and turning in circles, soon stretching and flopping down into it.

“U-uhm? Chrysolite?” Steven said, walking up awkwardly. Chrysolite grunted and opened one eye, peering up at him.

“Could I, y’know… Come in? I-I need to sleep too..” Steven said before Chrysolite snatched him by the front of his pajamas and softly tossed him into the nest before curling around him, giving him just enough room to breath as he fell asleep. Steven giggled and soon fell asleep as well.

In the morning, Chrysolite yawned, nudging Steven awake. As Steven crawled out of the nest, Chrysolite stretched out like a cat and trotted out of the nest. He looked around, checking if Garnet, Amethyst, or Pearl was there before he quickly walked out the door. He ran down the stairs and ran down the beach, kicking up sand as he ran to the barn.

“Chrysolite!!” Pearl shouted, causing him to glance back at her in shock before running quicker. He panted, quickly trotting over to the barn, speeding through Beach City.

“Chrysolite! Get back here! You’re going to scare them and end up most likely causing problems to their clutch!!” Pearl shouted, having Garnet and Amethyst chase after him as well. He ran through the streets, almost running into people as he ran to the barn. He hopped over the fence and scrambled over to the door, the gems right on his heels. He dashed through the open doors and skidded to a halt in front of his mates. He purred loudly, chirping as well as he rolled onto his side, presenting his soft belly, the most vulnerable part of his body. He flicked his ears and shook out his fur, emitting pheromones to soothe his mates’ nerves. He knew not to get too close to the nests, but he did scent the room, covering it in his scent so when the gemlings arrived, they could get used to it. Once he was finished, he purred and rolled around, taking in the attention that his mates gave him before they sent him out.

“What are we going to do with you?” Garnet said as Chrysolite was sent out, purring as he scented his mates briefly before they swatted him away. He smiled as he trotted out, scenting the outside as they left.

“You’re going to scare them if you lose your temper around them, your fuse is shorter than normal..” Pearl said, causing him to snarl. He sighed and stepped on the warp pad, activating it and going home.

After months of this, going over, scenting, being chased out, and repeating, Chrysolite grew tired. He lay in his nest, snuggling Steven close to him. However, they both were jolted awake at the sound of wails, and bright blue and green lights coming from the barn. Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst quickly bolted into the living room to see Chrysolite shaking Steven off of his leg and bolting out the door.

“Pearrrrrl!!!” Steven yelled, falling back into the nest.

“Where is he going!?” He shouted, quickly dashing in and out of the bathroom in a new change of clothes.

“Peridot and Lapis are getting ready to lay, and Chrysolite’s sire instincts are going haywire! We need to stop him before he gets himself hurt, Peridot or Lapis hurt, or the clutches hurt!” Pearl explained, bolting after him.

“Chrysolite! Stop!! You’re going to scare them!” Pearl yelled as she sprinted after him, trying to catch up and stop him from interrupting. He dove onto all fours and ran faster, running down the empty dark streets to get to the barn. He panted as he ran on, leaping over the fence and diving into the barn, being met with the wails of his mates as they laid their clutches in the nest. He instantly began producing calming pheromones, purring and chirping to soothe the nerves in the room. He quickly trotted over to them, licking their skin to calm them. He rubbed their back, enjoying the time they had before they got angry at him being there. Pearl’s squeals filled the barn as she laid her eyes on their clutches, counting nine whole geodes in total.

Chrysolite purred loudly, rubbing his scent glands onto each geode. They laid together for a few minutes, tending to their young. Once the geodes’ safety was ensured, Lapis let out a growl, signaling for Chrysolite to leave. He grumbled as he got to his feet, rubbing against the clutch one last time, earning a slash and a hiss from Lapis. He retreated from the nest with a chirp and gazed at his offspring. He trilled and flicked his ears and throat fur, presenting a show of green-blue color. He purred loudly and pranced for them, giving into his needs as a sire. Lapis and Peridot giggled to themselves and sent him off. He trilled and jogged out after giving them a kiss, purring wildly. He closed the barn doors and turned to face the other gems, Pearl and Garnet looked at him, slightly disappointed in him going to see the two carriers, despite Pearl’s warnings about what might happen. However, he just gave them a smug look and pranced off.

Around two weeks later, Chrysolite was woken up by someone leaving the house. He yawned, stretched, and turned over, going back to sleep. Twenty minutes later though, he was jolted awake by the loud and angry cries of his mates in the barn. He was up in an instant, the instincts of a sire needing to tend to their family flowing through him. Garnet and Pearl ran in, causing Steven to wake up as well. Chrysolite grew angry quickly, fangs growing in his mouth as he snarled and spat, his eyes glowed as he bolted out the door, sprinting towards the barn once more. Pearl groaned, having to chase after him again with Garnet. He leapt onto all fours, running faster to get to his new family. He ran through the fence, smashing it to pieces as he tried to get to Lapis and Peridot. He slammed open the doors and panted roughly, observing the geode in Amethyst’s hands. Pearl and Garnet stormed in behind him, and saw what Chrysolite was upset at. Amethyst laughed awkwardly, placing the geode down just as Chrysolite leapt on her.

To him, Amethyst was not a friend. All he saw through his instinct clouded mind was someone trying to take away his baby. He roared and was on her in a millisecond, holding her down and slamming his clawed hands into her. He bit, tore, slashed, punched, beat, and screamed. At the moment, he was not Chrysolite, he was only a hormonal sire protecting his young. He attacked her so violently, she poofed and even then he was still angry. He raised a hand, getting ready to slam it down on Amethyst’s gem and shatter her. Though, just before he could, Steven ran over and grabbed it, running out of his reach before he too could get hit. As Pearl, Garnet, and Steven ran, Chrysolite ran after them. He growled and hissed, chasing them away from the barn and back into Beach City. He let out a deep roar, completely intent on viciously attacking them if they came back too soon. He spat as they ran back to the house, keeping Steven safe.

He grunted and stalked back, still on all fours. His teeth and other sharp assets shrunk back to normal. As he walked, he scented the area around the barn, marking trees and rocks by slashing into them. He did this for at least an hour before he heard the calling chirps of Lapis and Peridot. He eagerly ran back, before slowing down and carefully entering the barn. He heard their soft purrs as he padded in, his puffed up fur laying flat back on his body. He purred back, much louder and deeper as he smiled at them. They smiled back and started shuffling around, making room for his large body to fit in. He trilled happily and softly slipped in. He purred louder, his breathing syncing with theirs as he snuggled in, tucking them both closer along with their clutches. They laid like this for hours, falling asleep together. They lay like this for weeks, never moving from their spots.

“Hey Chrysolite?” Lapis said, shaking him awake.

“Yes, Lappy?” He smiled and gazed up at her, licking her cheek softly, causing her to giggle.

“Me and Peri were wondering if you could watch the clutches for us? We want to go out together but we can’t leave them..” Lapis said, stroking his hair softly.

“Of course! I’d love to watch them, I haven't seen them in so long.” He cooed and leaned into her touch.

“Thank you!” She purred and hugged him tightly.

“Peri! He said he’d watch them!” She shook Peridot awake, who chirped happily, getting up from the clutch.

“Here, lay on your side Chrysolite.” Peridot instructed.

“Okay, what now?” He asked softly, gazing up at her.

“Alright, here we go.” Peridot carefully gathered up the geodes and slid them closer to him, slipping their sturdy forms under him.

“The outsides are incredibly durable, so they won’t crack if someone of your size helps with brooding.” Peridot explained, covering him with a blanket.

“Alright, thank you Peri.. Now you two go have fun. They’ll be safe, all nine of them.” He purred, shifting to make himself more comfortable. The two nodded and stroked him softly before leaving the barn, closing the doors and leaving it pitch black inside. He smiled as he curled around them, making sure every last one of them was safe and accounted for.

“Hi there babies.” He cooed, chirping and trilling happily.

“I’m your carrier's sire, so I’ll protect you and your mamas. We’ll all be so safe together, me, Lapis, Peridot, and all nine of you. Oh!!” He squealed, his incredibly loud purrs shaking the walls. He laid on them for hours, using his body heat to keep them warm and using his insane amount of fur to keep them safe. He had his back towards the barn doors as he snored, his chest rising and falling. He let out a snarl as he heard the barn doors open, his ears turning towards it. He turned himself over, crouching over his nest and geodes as he growled.

“Chrysolite?” Came Pearl’s soft voice. He opened eyes to look at her, snarling as his eyes fell upon Amethyst. He hissed loudly, his lips curling to show his gums and sharp teeth. He growled and puffed up his fur, making him look impossibly larger.

“Where’s Peridot and Lapis?” Pearl asked, stepping closer slowly.

“Out.” He responded coldly, pinning his ears back against his mane. Though still softening up around her.

“And you’re covering for them? How much longer do the geodes have?” Pearl asked, sitting in front of him with her legs folded under her.

“Yes, I’m taking over until they return. And I would say around a week or so.” He answered, starting to purr quietly. They talked for a while, Pearl calming him down and chatting about the clutch.

“Ow!” He yelped and raised his body up, watching one of the geodes begin to crack.

“Or today! Or they could erupt today!” He panicked, letting out a loud deep Sire Call, calling out to his mates for help. He carefully set all the geodes out in front of him, watching them as he called to Peridot and Lapis. Pearl walked him through the process of the erupting of gemlings, explaining how she used to be a midgem, the gem version of a midwife. He squealed as he saw a small furry blue hand poke out of the blue and teal geode, its tiny claws swatting around at nothing. He carefully took the top of it between his teeth, slowly removing it for the small gemling to poke out of. Its gem was on its chest, and was shaped like Lapis’s.

As soon as he helped it out of its geode, it started crying. Its small naked fluffy body wiggling around. He held it in his paws, licking it clean and cradling it on his bare chest, yelping as it clawed him unconsciously. Its cries lessened and it sniffled before it began chirping. It peeped as loud as it could, grasping onto the soft warm fur of Chrysolite’s chest. Pearl clapped her hands wildly, congratulating him on his first gemling’s eruption. Minutes later, Peridot and Lapis came rushing into the barn just in time to see Chrysolite licking two others clean. Both were blue, looking the exact same. Same green hair, same shade of blue on their fur, same cries, and both of their gems were on their left shoulder they were practically the exact same gem.

“Chrysolite!” Lapis shouted, quickly running over with Peridot to help calm their cries. He purred and set both of them on his chest with the first one. They purred loudly, helping the others erupt from their geodes and giving them to Chrysolite to clean and soothe. They sighed as the very last one erupted and Chrysolite took its small spotted body to clean it.

“She’s so small!” Chrysolite cooed, softly setting her with her siblings.

“Alright, Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst? Leave please.” Chrysolite said tiredly, shooing them away as best he could as he stroked the gemlings' backs. Pearl nodded and quickly herded the gems out of the barn, making sure to shut the doors. Chrysolite sighed, purring loudly as Peridot and Lapis curled up next to him.

“You’re so lucky we agreed to this. This entire process hurt.” Lapis jokes, softly stroking the sleeping gemlings. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around them, rubbing their bellies softly.

“OW!” He yelped, curling his toes as one of the small gems bit at one of the small pinkish bumps on his belly, sinking its sharp tiny teeth into it. Lapis laughed, carefully picking up the small baby and bringing it to her chest, helping it feed from her instead of trying to feed from a male. The baby chirped and took one in its mouth, feeding itself as it squeaked. The other babies raised their heads, chirping and squealing. Lapis and Peridot smiled, reaching out for their babies and having them latch onto them. They purred in sync together, slowly falling asleep with their babies.

A few weeks passed and the gemlings grew bigger. Their eyes have opened and almost all of them have Chrysolite’s yellow eyes. Some of them have Lapis’ wings but they can't control them and all parents have to keep an eye on them to make sure their wings don’t dissipate in the air. Whenever the gems came over, the gemlings, sometimes labeled ‘cubs’ by Chrysolite, loved to climb on Garnet. Whenever they clambered onto her, she’d have the goofiest smile on her face, sitting extremely still. Sometimes, they’d go outside, but only ever with Chrysolite, if he wasn’t there, they don’t go outside. When they were outside he never took his eyes off of any of them, even if he couldn’t see them, he knew EXACTLY where they were. They also really liked being picked up by Chrysolite. Since they didn’t know how to speak, they would waddle up to him, raise up their arms, and chirp wildly until he noticed them and picked them up. With the help of Steven, he taught them how to speak, even if it was only around 10 words a baby.

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