#lair review monologue

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Collusion and Revolution

Well, the final confrontation with Lila was a bust, but maybe Chloe's swan song will be bett----HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, I couldn't even finish that sentence without laughing.

Let's get into the twenty-second and twenty-third episodes of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Collusion and Revolution

“Collusion” starts off with... oh, for God's sake... Gabriel monologuing to Emilie's body for the umpteenth time, only now, we see just how bad his Cataclysm wound has gotten, now making his entire hand black.

Marinette and Adrien wake up and we get a pretty cute scene of them talking on the phone while getting ready for their respective days. Afterwards, Gabriel talks with Adrien about being sent to London, and is somehow aware that Adrien hasn't told Marinette yet. Even when Gabriel tries to use his ring to keep Adrien under his control, Adrien still shows signs of resistance.

Later at school, Chloe walks up to insult Marinette and Adrien as usual, but Marinette has a little rebuttal of her own.

Marinette: Be mean while you still can, Chloe. I'm gonna let you in on a secret. Remember your friend Lila who used to hurt everyone with her lies? See her anywhere in this classroom? No, because I put a stop to her nastiness and I'll do the same with you!

Yeah, and you were only able to do so because one of Lila's minions decided they didn't like being evil, and had no plan of your own prior to that.

It's revealed that not only is Lila (I'm not calling her Cerise to make things easier for myself) still in contact with Chloe through their Alliance rings, she also somehow got her own supervillain lair. How did she set up here, much less find the resources to do so? You guessed it, never explained!

And yeah, let's just get this out of the way. I hate what they're doing with Lila here. For reasons I'll get to in a later review, it's clear that there had to be some changes made so Lila remains a key player, even after the events of “Confrontation”, so they decided to make Lila manipulate Chloe as part of her plans. For a pair of episodes that are meant to show Chloe at her absolute worst, it devalues her status as a villain if she's just going to be used as a glorified attack dog for bigger threats like Lila. Remember, we've seen Chloe come up with her own plans before (Mr. Pigeon, Dark Cupid, Darkblade, Kung Food, Antibug, Despair Bear, Zombizou, Frightningale, Queen Wasp, Queen Banana, Gabriel Agreste, Penalteam, Determination, Derision), and we know she's not a complete idiot. She doesn't need Lila to hold her hand and tell her what to do to get what she wants. I get that it's supposed to be ironic that Chloe, for all her bluster, is ultimately a pawn in a larger scheme, but it just doesn't gel with the whole “irredeemable monster” stuff the show has been going with whenever Chloe has been on screen for the past two seasons. You could easily take Lila out of these episodes and not much would really change.

During class, Chloe makes a scene by blasting some music and dancing on her desk, and we get what has to be the most unrealistic thing this entire show has done for the past five seasons: Assuming kids still care about school when the year is almost over.

Rose: Chloe, quit it! We wanna hear the lesson, we care!

When Ms. Bustier tries to send Chloe to the principal's office, Chloe calls Ms. Mendeleiev (who is the new principal after Mr. Damocles resigned), and essentially forces her to change the rules to music is allowed. After Chloe taunts Ivan, just as Marinette tries to stop Ivan from hurting her, she uses the opportunity to frame Marinette for hitting her. Oh, sorry. I mean Lila uses the opportunity to tell Chloe to frame Marinette for hitting her.

In the principal's office, Ms. Bustier tries to reason with Chloe by showing her the present she got her all the way back in Season 2's “Zombizou”.

Ms. Bustier: Chloe, do you remember this gift you gave me on my birthday? To me, that is proof that you're a fragile teenager who doesn't know love and is simply looking for attention. And... we all tried to help you. So, please, whatever it is you want, ask yourself if it's worth all the suffering you're causing.

Chloe: Did you hear that? A homeroom teacher using a student's feelings to blackmail her. This is inappropriate, utterly inappropriate! My father, the mayor, would never tolerate this in a school.

Remember kids, FUCK showing compassion to your enemies! Everyone knows Gandhi was a loser anyway.

The negative emotions attract an Akuma to Ms. Bustier, but she manages to resist Monarch's influence for now. Monarch transforms back into Gabriel, who has a meeting with Tomoe and Andre to discuss the state of Paris' law enforcement.

Tomoe: Your policemen mostly get paid for doing nothing. It seems that Ladybug and Cat Noir are the ones who have been enforcing the law in Paris the last few months, wouldn't you agree?

Because I guess Ladybug and Cat Noir have also been stopping drug rings off-screen or something.

Chloe storms into the office, and even though Lila has no idea what's going on, she tells Chloe to record the conversation. Once again, Lila has to tell Chloe just how to be mean and selfish while she chews out Andre, and that if she was the mayor, she'd ban superheroes, right before Chloe learns Adrien is going to London next year.

After a scene that's only there to remind the audience that Adrien hasn't told Marinette about London yet, we see Gabriel talking with Andre about replacing Paris' police force with robots... even though this should really be more a discussion for the commissioner. I guess the writers didn't have enough money for a commissioner model because they had to allocate resources for Ms. Bustier's baby bump.

Andre: Seriously, Gabriel, what's this whole police robot idea all about?

Gabriel: Have I ever offered a single bad idea to you, Andre? We've always helped each other, haven't we?

Andre: Remember when we were young and penniless? When Emilie, you and I would make the world right from our little attic room? You made me my very first suit so I'd feel confident and Audrey, whom I'd fallen in love with, would finally notice me? Don't you think we were much happier back then? That our lives were more beautiful, more fair?

Gabriel: Come on, you have everything to be happy, Andre. Your wife, your daughter, Paris City Hall...

Andre: A woman who barely respects me, a selfish, heartless daughter, and a City Hall that I never wanted. I only got into politics like dad to impress Audrey, you know that.

Gabriel: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Andre: Look at me, Gabe. All my life I've lied, I've cheated and I've abused my power. I used to be a dreamer, an artist, I wanted to make movies! Now I've become a tyrant in servitude to my family and friends...

Aw, poor baby. Did someone condition their daughter to develop an entitlement complex while refusing to divorce your abusive wife?

I'm sorry, but I don't feel bad for Andre at all here. While I'm happy to see that the show is trying to teach kids that male mental health is important too, it doesn't really earn him a lot of sympathy considering a lot of this is his own fault. Sure, we don't know what Audrey was like when they were younger, and she could have gotten worse as time went on, but considering how rich he is coupled with the fact that Audrey spends most of her time in New York, he doesn't really have much of an excuse to not divorce her. As for Chloe, he has even less of an excuse, since he was responsible for her upbringing. He spoiled her rotten, he refused to properly discipline her, and he failed to teach her the slightest bit of humility. I'm willing to accept that Chloe is a lost cause by the show's standards, but I can't accept the fact that Andre had nothing to do with how she turned out. He's as much of a failure as a parent as Gabriel is.

As Lila somehow finds where the two are talking so she can overhear their conversation, Gabriel secretly records Andre, altering what he says to make him look bad. While I can't exactly describe it through text, this clip from The Simpsons should summarize it.

Ms. Bustier sees the video of Andre, and this time, she fails to resist an Akuma, turning into Wonder Woman—I mean, Miss Sans-Culotte.

Miss Sans-Culotte has a okay design. I like how it's meant to have a more patriotic theme with the color scheme, and the fact that it's based off some of the people in the French Revolution, aptly named the Sans-Culotte, is a nice way to teach kids about history. The problems I have are the golden armor, which goes against the fact that was previously mentioned in this very episode that the Sans-Culotte wore more simple clothing. That, and the guillotine blade for a weapon, which gives off some uncomfortable implications. The Miraculous power this time involves the Pig Miraculous' Gift, which somehow allows her to transform anyone her blade touches into balloons... even though the Pig never had that ability, and we saw what it really did just earlier this season (Jubilation).

Right when it seems like Adrien is about to tell Marinette about London, the two learn about Miss Sans-Culotte, and split up to transform into Cat Noir and Ladybug respectively. Meanwhile, Chloe hears the news about Andre before getting a call from Gabriel, who offers to “give her Andre's power”. Even though Chloe always uses her dad's power to get what she wants, she literally has to be told to accept the offer from Lila because she didn't think of the political ramifications. You see what I mean about Lila adding nothing to this episode? It'd be like if Thanos kept in contact with someone who had to tell him how to get the Infinity Stones at every step. As for Gabriel, I'll talk about his plan next episode.

Ladybug and Cat Noir confront Miss Sans-Culotte, demanding to know what she's doing.

Ladybug: Terror isn't a solution!

Cat Noir: There are elections to make your voice heard.

Miss Sans-Culotte: Or a revolution when everyone is corrupt. Nothing can stop freedom!

Because it's not like the video of Andre confessing to abusing his power, tampered or not, is an open and shut impeachment case, right?

Ladybug summons her Lucky Charm and gets a crown. After focusing on Miss Sans-Culotte and City Hall, she gets an idea.

Ladybug: Mayor Bourgeois is acting like the king of Paris, and maybe he should be removed from office after all.

Cat Noir: Are you saying we should give this villain free reign?

Ladybug: I don't know... I feel like that's what the Lucky Charm means. You're right, it's not up to us to decide who gets to be the mayor and who doesn't. An akumatized villain just needs to be deakumatized.

Yeah, remember how Ladybug said it was too risky to forge a temporary alliance with Matagi Gozen in order to stop the person who stole almost every Miraculous she had last season? Well now, she's saying they should essentially let this Akuma force the sitting Mayor of Paris out of power, which is all kinds of illegal. Now this might just be because I'm not French, and don't understand how politics work over there, but here in America, the last time some people stormed a major government establishment to protest a fair election, they were seen as fucking lunatics.

Zoe tries to reason with Miss Sans-Culotte, but she's still in favor of using that guillotine blade in ways that don't involve balloons. They try to reason with her and convince her to reason with Andre... right as Andre is about to resign himself, so this whole conflict was pointless. Still glad to know Ladybug and Cat Noir are now willing to let Akumas use their powers to get what they want when that was almost always seen as taboo.

Miss Sans-Culotte once again rejects the Akuma with ease, Ladybug uses Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage... only to be cornered by several police robots, and ones that look really stupid at that.

Remember, Gabriel and Tomoe wanted taxpayers to pay for these.

Yeah, somehow, the Lucky Charm was actually meant for Chloe, because, well...

Cat Noir: A crown for the queen of brats, of course!

What, did calling her the literal Antichrist not do well with test audiences?

Yeah, this makes no goddamn sense. Why was the Lucky Charm prioritizing Chloe of all people instead of the Akuma as usual? What was Ladybug even supposed to do here? Yeah, she really should have stopped Miss Sans-Culotte, but was she expected to know about the police robots or something?

Chloe tells the press that Ladybug and Cat Noir helped an Akuma force the current mayor out of office. This is all part of Gabriel and Tomoe's plan, but once again, she's not wrong. The two still helped a dangerous supervillain force a major political shift, and the resulting power vacuum that allowed Chloe to rise to power is really their fault. After Cat Noir uses his Cataclysm to free himself and Ladybug from the nets the robots used to trap them with, we get the start of a running gag where Chloe struggles to say the word “democratic”, because remember, she's blonde, and therefore stupid. This happens several times across both episodes, and none of them are actually funny.

The episode ends with Chloe unlawfully taking control of Paris as the new mayor, which is totally different from Miss Sans-Culotte unlawfully forcing Andre to resign. The last time I saw double standards this blatant, I was watching RWBY.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... CHLOE

If there's one thing I love about my irredeemable villains, it's that they're so stupid, it's impossible to take them seriously. Not only did Chloe need Lila to hold her hand through every major decision she made throughout this episode (and by extension, the next), she failed to understand her dad's political career falling apart and needed to be told to take an opportunity to own an army of advanced robots, and couldn't even say the word “democratic”, which isn't that hard of a word to say even if you're borderline illiterate.

“Revolution” starts off with Chloe essentially declaring martial law in Paris for the time being. Once again, Cat Noir says the sane thing for once and suggests they go and beat up Chloe themselves. Well, I say that, but somehow, Cat Noir contradicts himself in his very next line.

Cat Noir: We can't let Chloe make up the rules.

Ladybug: If she were akumatized, it'd be easy. Find the object, break it, de-evilize her.

Cat Noir: But there is no object, and we can't attack someone who isn't akumatized, or we'd look like the supervillains.

I think you forgot something, guys...

THE ENTIRE FUCKING REASON SHE'S MAKING THE RULES IN THE FIRST PLACE IS BECAUSE YOU HELPED A SUPERVILLAIN IN THE LAST EPISODE! HOW DID YOU FORGET THIS VITAL INFORMATION?!

What the hell is with the sudden change of pace? They were willing to let Miss Sans-Culotte have her way by making Andre resign, so why can't they stop Chloe when she's already taken over Paris by force? I don't think you'd really look like supervillains if you stopped a tyrant instead of a democratically elected mayor. All you need to do is stop Chloe from controlling the robots, and you're golden.

In fact, where the hell is the rest of the Parisian government during all this, much less the French government? Why aren't they doing anything about this? We don't even get a throwaway line that explains it like Chloe bribed some politicians to keep quiet about the whole thing. Instead, despite an obvious violation of democratic rights, nobody outside of Paris is even bothering to stop this.

After a brief scene where some citizens are interviewed about Chloe, we see Adrien once again angsting about going to London. Like what Lila did with Chloe last episode, Plagg has to outright tell Adrien to talk to Marinette about this, because I guess this show has a really low opinion on the intelligence of people with blond hair. Also, good to know that even though Chloe is currently ruling over the city with an iron fist, she's still allowing air traffic to flow normally. Good thing too, as it's almost tourist season. Adrien tries to tell Marinette through a call, but she talks to him about Chloe, and how they can protest her regime.

Meanwhile, at City Hall, Chloe has already gone mad with power, as she orders her new box robots around, while Gabriel calls her to praise her for how she's been doing. Afterwards, Gabriel transforms into Monarch and absorbs the powers from a few Kwamis before Voyaging to City Hall. Chloe orders her robots to arrest Monarch, unaware than Tomoe is the one actually controlling them, only for Monarch to offer a deal... which Lila once again has to tell Chloe to listen to even though Chloe has worked with him in the past. Monarch offers to akumatize Chloe in a way that makes it look like she's not working for him. She accepts, and becomes Queen Mayor.

Queen Mayor's design is pretty simple, but I guess it works for the plan. It's just Chloe in an admittedly nice-looking jacket. Not sure if she can actually take it off like her other clothes or not, though. As for the Miraculous powers, Monarch transfers five of them to her robots, the Turtle Miraculous' Shelter, the Horse Miraculous' Voyage, the Ox Miraculous' Resistance, the Bee Miraculous' Venom, and the Rooster Miraculous' Sublimation, which gives her an unclear power. Given what she subjects her victims to later on, I guess it's the torture chamber she creates? I also don't get how the robots are capable of using the Miraculous powers when earlier episodes established you needed to have multiple Alliance rings to use them (Transmission, Pretension).

But now's as good a time as any to discuss Gabriel and Tomoe's plan, and why is makes absolutely no sense. In case you got confused, here's a quick summary: Tomoe created an army of robots designed to replace the police, and when Andre refused to use them, Gabriel recorded a private conversation so he could edit it, then transform into Monarch to akumatize someone and hope Ladybug and Cat Noir would let her force Andre to resign, then talk to Chloe about taking over as mayor, hope she says yes while Ladybug and Cat Noir do nothing to stop her, then pretend to give her control over Tomoe's robots before akumatizing Chloe so she can actually control the robots, all while praying that Chloe doesn't find out the truth, much the government doesn't get involved with this.

Gabriel and Tomoe did all of this instead of just, you know, akumatizing Chloe like usual. If the plan was to akumatize her all along while making it look like she's not akumatized, why didn't Gabriel just do that from the start as soon as Andre resigned and Miss Sans-Culotte rejected her Akuma? Also, why the hell is Chloe so crucial to the plan anyway? Yeah, they plan to throw her under the bus once they win, but wouldn't it make more sense if Tomoe, the one whose company made the robots, was the one who took over as Mayor?

It feels like the show is trying to recreate the plan from “Miracle Queen” where Chloe teams up with Monarch, but that plan at least made sense, as Chloe was crucial because of her connection to Ladybug. Here, it just feels like the writers needed an excuse to actually make Chloe a threat, but just like when Felix gave Gabriel all of the other Miraculous last season, it's forced. I'm not really seeing Chloe as a threat when she needed Gabriel to hand her the keys to an army of robots, and I don't care if that's the point. If the show wants us to take Chloe seriously as a villain, it needs her actions to speak for themselves instead of turning her into a glorified attack dog for Gabriel, Tomoe, and even Lila to an extent.

But here's my biggest problem with this plan. Consider the fact that Gabriel put Chloe in a major political position, presumably in order to bank on the fact that Ladybug and Cat Noir wouldn't use their powers to beat up a civilian. Gabriel then transformed into Monarch and akumatized Chloe into a form that would make it look like nobody would even tell she was akumatized in the first place. So let me ask this: If Gabriel's plan involves making it look like Chloe isn't akumatized, how is this going to actually attract Ladybug and Cat Noir so you can get their Miraculous?!

Yeah, Ladybug and Cat Noir eventually decide to fight Chloe anyway, but they don't learn she's akumatized until she blurts it out, and that's well into their fight. The plan is to turn the local government against Ladybug and Cat Noir and discredit in a way that prevents them from taking action against an obvious threat, but that just doesn't gel with Monarch's goal of getting their Miraculous. Did Gabriel and Tomoe assume that Ladybug and Cat Noir would just have no qualms with presumably beating up a civilian? If so, why even bother hiding the fact that Chloe was akumatized? This is a problem the plan faces no matter who the mayor is. Hell, if anything, it would be better if Chloe was akumatized from the start, as no matter how long she hides it for, she still has control over an army of robots armed with Miraculous powers, which wouldn't decrease the threat she poses in the slightest. This isn't even the first time an Akuma has hijacked the position of mayor (Rogercop), so it's even less excusable!

The next day, the students stage a protest at their school to get Ms. Bustier her job back, where Chloe (I'm calling her that instead because nobody else calls her Queen Mayor) questions why they're using their right to protest. She also plans to tell Marinette that Adrien is moving to London (something Gabriel told her earlier), but once again, Lila tells her not to. Also, you want to know how stupid the whole “Chloe can't say the word 'democracy' right” gag is? In the same scene where she struggles to say the D-word, Chloe uses the words “Libertarian”, “negative”, and “influence” correctly. It's hard to really buy Chloe as this illiterate moron while you still have her use words like this.

We get what can barely be considered a montage of Chloe abusing her power, but it's only like, three scenes before the plot kicks back in. We get a scene of Chloe screwing around in a private one-on-one class, an admittedly funny bit where she had a golden statue of herself commissioned to rest on the Arc de Triomphe, and then a scene where she shows Andre the ice cream man just how unfair her rule is.

Chloe: Did you pay the permit fee to sell your ice cream?!

Ice Cream Man Andre: I don't need a permit to sell love in Paris!

Chloe: Well, now you do! Otherwise, you'll end up in detention!

I mean, she reasonably calls out Andre for not having a permit to sell ice cream. How... evil of her?

Marinette goes back to her place, only to learn Chloe abducted her parents and placed them in “detention”, before doing the same to her thanks to one of her robots using a combination of Venom and Voyage. We do get an admittedly decent scene of Chloe threatening to tell Marinette about Adrien moving if Adrien doesn't become her deputy mayor, only for Adrien to vow to tell Marinette himself... even though he kept trying to tell her earlier in the episode, so this moment feels a little hollow. But hey, it's not like the finale will make this scene seem even worse in retrospect, right?

Adrien is sent to detention, a torture chamber where footage of Chloe mentally conditions the prisoners into believing that they're ridiculous or that they can always count on her, all while the prisoners are told to find a chair in an endless maze. Again, another decent visual I'll give the episode credit for. After Adrien, Marinette, and Alya escape detention, the former two transform into Cat Noir and Ladybug respectively and get ready to finally do something about Chloe.

Ladybug summons her Lucky Charm, a bikini bottom, and gets ready to stop Chloe alongside Cat Noir. Okay, Chloe has an army of robots on her side alongside the public's favor, so they'll need to come up with a really clever plan in order to—they're just going in guns blazing even though that's a terrible plan in a situation like this. Unsurprisingly, the two heroes immediately get trapped by a combination of Shelter and Resistance, nullifying the Lucky Charm and Cataclysm. Only now do they figure out Monarch is behind this, even though both of them saw the robots use Venom and Voyage to send them to detention, yet when Chloe actually says it, Ladybug is still shocked by this.

As Ladybug and Cat Noir start to detransform, they encourage the public to take action once they lose their Miraculous, even though Monarch will have won by then. As they do this, somehow, they stop detransforming until they manage to recharge their Miraculous by the power of because the plot says so. How did they do this?

Gabriel: I am an adult! Not transforming back is a power belonging to grown-ups!

Nooroo: I guess they must have grown up, Master.

Yes. Seriously. Even though there's been nothing else to signify that Ladybug and Cat Noir have matured this season, they now have the full power of their Miraculous at their disposal because now, they're adults. If you have to tell the audience that your characters have developed, then you've done a poor job at writing character development. Ms. Bustier takes the sash containing Chloe's Akuma while Cat Noir uses multiple Cataclysms to destroy the rest of her robots.

Ladybug de-evilizes the Akuma, oddly enough, doesn't use Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage, doesn't give Chloe a useless Magical Charm because Andre says he's going to “correct his own errors”, and after being convinced by her students, Ms. Bustier decides to run for mayor.

We then cut to a private jet where Audrey is chewing her daughter out for failing, even though she supported her earlier when she was mayor. Yeah, you know how it seemed like Andre was finally going to properly discipline his daughter. Dream on! Instead, he just decided to send her away with Audrey, someone who he knows is a terrible person, and lets her deal with Chloe in a way that heavily implies she's going to put Chloe through hell when she isn't at school.

Audrey: Because of you, we've lost face! You've ruined our name and our reputation! You had all the powers in your hands and you foolishly lost them! Bourgeois do not raise losers. You think you're going to London on vacation? Dream on! I'm going to take control of your life again, starting with your education.

This is seriously meant to be an appropriate punishment for Chloe while Andre gets absolutely no consequences for being responsible for his daughter turning out the way she did. I have only one thing to ask.

WHAT THE FUCK, ASTRUC?!

How the fuck did anyone involved with this show think any of this was okay?! How did Andre think this was okay when in the previous episode, he pointed out how awful Audrey was?! Why the fuckare both Andre and Audrey, the two people who helped make Chloe the person she is, getting away scot-free while Chloe gets condemned for everything?! Why the fuck are we supposed to be happy Audrey is diciplining Chloe when we know she's worse than she is?! WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE OKAY TO GREENLIGHT?!

I can either interpret this scene in two ways.

The first way is that, like he's said for a few years now, Astruc still doesn't see this as child abuse, and that Chloe is being punished like any other misbehaving child is.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES.

The second way, and I consider this to be the worse option, is that Astruc's team is fully aware that this now qualifies as child abuse, and that Chloe deserves this treatment. Put aside the fact that a common mentality of abusive parents is that they believe they're helping their children by “toughing them up”, this is still a demented way to punish any character, no matter how bad they are.

“But IOTA! Chloe needs to be punished for what she did!” Yeah, she does, but not like this. Hell, you don't need to do a lot to change the ending and avoid the harmful implications. Just have Andre be the one to move out of Paris with Chloe with the intent to send her to boarding school. Also, rather than say he's “going to take control of Chloe's life again”, have him explain that while he still loves Chloe, he isn't mayor anymore, so she can't use his name to get out of trouble, meaning that like it or not, Chloe will have to grow out of her bratty attitude or else she'll get in even more trouble. That way, we see Andre actually taking responsibility for how bad of a parent he was, Chloe realizes her old tricks won't work anymore while the door is open for a redemption should you choose to bring her back next season, and most importantly, there's no implications of child abuse here.

But believe it or not, things were even worse for these episodes initially. As detailed in the Season 5 scripts, there was originally a scene in “Collusion” where Andre used his powers as mayor to divorce Audrey and steal custody of Zoe while leaving her to deal with Chloe herself, officially joining Jagged Stone in the Rich Deadbeat Dads Club.

And Astruc wasn't even aware it was taken out, not being told this until he found out on Twitter.

Because somehow, he considered Andre walking out on his family and leaving his biological daughter in the hands of an abusive bitch crucial to the story.

And do you want to know the worst part? No matter how you view this scene, either way, it's portrayed as Chloe getting punished, but the next scene plays Gabriel abusing Adrien straight, ordering him to pack his things as he'll be heading to London that night. The show literally can't make up its mind on whether child abuse is bad or not. Why is it okay for Chloe to be mistreated by her parents while we're supposed to sympathize with Adrien? No matter who the victim is, CHILD ABUSE IS STILL CHILD ABUSE.

I don't care how bad Chloe is, child abuse is NEVER justifiable, and it's disgusting that the show seems to take that stance, whether they intended to or not.

Let's just get the last few minutes out of the way so I can end this. Adrien is forced to pack for London, Nathalie does nothing to stop Gabriel from doing this, Lila steals one of Tomoe's computers, Gabriel tells Tomoe about keeping Adrien and Kagami safe in London while they execute “Operation: Perfect Alliance”, Marinette and Adrien have their first kiss for the third time in five seasons, Chloe calls Marinette to tell her about Adrien, but Marinette tells her to piss off, and Chloe ends the episode crying because Astruc thinks she deserves to suffer. THERE. I'M DONE.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... GABRIEL

Gabriel joins Marinette in earning the Biggest Idiot Award for the third time this season. He had no reason to include Chloe in his stupid plan, he was essentially banking on Ladybug and Cat Noir choosing to do nothing, and tried to create a scenario were Ladybug and Cat Noir wouldn't be able to lose their Miraculous. At least you could argue that Ladybug and Cat Noir needed to stay on the down low at first. Gabriel doesn't get that excuse.

These episodes sucked, but I honestly thought they were slightly better than the last two.

Yeah, all joking aside, I thought these episodes had more positives to them than “Revelation” and “Confrontation”. Where those two episodes were insulting and confusing respectively, these two episodes were the kind of bad I've come to expect from the show. There's plotholes, bad morals, and characters acting like idiots, but it's par for the course. I was far from a fan of these two episodes, but other than the ending of “Revolution”, I was nowhere near as angry I was with “Revelation” and “Confrontation”.

Surprisingly, I was more upset rewatching “Collusion” than I did “Revolution”. Yeah, “Revolution” was bad, but at least Chloe was supposed to be a bad example of how lead a city, unlike what Andre and Ms. Bustier were doing. Those characters both taught bad morals, intentional or not, and just like Ladybug and Cat Noir, were never called out for unintentionally leading to Chloe's rise to power. With Andre, we were supposed to just be expected to be okay with all the times he abused his power as mayor while cheering when he quit with no negative repercussions, and with Ms. Bustier, we were supposed to be okay with her attempting to stage a violent coup against Andre, the character the episode is already trying to make us sympathize with.

Between these two characters, along with Sabrina and Felix, the show really loves operating on the “There's Always a Bigger Fish” rule. It doesn't matter how many bad things you do, if someone else is pulling the strings, you won't get in trouble at all... unless you're Chloe, so, in that case, BURN IN HELL. Like I mentioned earlier, you can acknowledge someone only did bad things because they were pressured to while saying they should at least be held accountable for their actions in some way that doesn't involve kicking them out of the country.

The moral of when it's okay to use violence was pretty confusing, and not just because this is a superhero show where almost every problem is solved by fighting it. Ladybug tries to convince Miss Sans-Culotte that political conflicts shouldn't be solved with violence, but even if she didn't convince her to change her mind, Andre was already ready to resign as mayor, and Miss Sans-Culotte still angrily demanded he resign in a way that sounded like a violent threat. There's also the fact that despite saying that violence isn't always the answer, the conflict that was sort of resolved with no violence ended up making things worse as Chloe was able to seize power once Andre resigned.

Also, it's pretty funny how absolutely nobody ever tried to reason with Chloe after she became mayor, not even Ms. Bustier. In that case, violence was obviously the answer, but the show never really tells us what makes Miss Sans-Culotte better than Chloe. You can't teach an anti-violence moral in one episode and then lead into an episode where violence solves the problem instead of diplomacy. And I'm not one of those saints who believes that every conflict should be handled nonviolently. Sometimes, people won't listen to words, but will at least hear you out if you use your fists. I'd personally argue the conflict of “Revolution” would have worked if had this kind of lesson. Just have Ladybug and Cat Noir tried to solve things with Chloe diplomatically during the first act, only to realize that Chloe won't budge, so they have no choice but to take her out of power themselves. It'd make a hell of a lot more sense than having Marinette and Adrien do nothing while Chloe makes everyone's life miserable because the writers need to pad the runtime.

I already mentioned this, but for an episode that tries to show how awful Chloe is, she barely does anything on her own. She needs Lila to tell her to go along with Gabriel's plan, she needs Gabriel and Tomoe to pretend to give her an army of robots, and she needs Monarch to akumatize her to make the robots even more dangerous. If you need another character to do something to make Chloe a threat, why should we only see Chloe as the threat? These two episodes keep going back and forth on whether Chloe is the worst or not. When they're not showing her taking control of Paris on her own like should be doing, the writers take the time to remind the audience that Lila and Gabriel are pulling Chloe around by telling her what to do, all while they each muse about how this is all going according to keikaku. If you want to make Chloe a threat and have her live up to her reputation as a terrible human being, she should actually have agency and should be cunning enough to be a dangerous villain in her own right.

Unlike with “Confrontation”, which gave more focus to side characters for some reason, “Revolution” actually focused on the main characters and their conflict with Chloe, like we should have gotten with Lila. Yeah, Ladybug and Cat Noir wait far too long to stop her, but unlike with Lila last episode, they at least had a semblance of a reason for hesitating to beat up a civilian. Either way, it felt like an obstacle that Ladybug and Cat Noir actually overcame together instead of someone else helping them out at the last second. Yeah, the Miraculous boost was a glorified deus ex machina, but it was at least a thing established in the show since Season 3.

Even the stuff with Chloe actually felt like stuff she would do, unlike in Season 4, which tried to give her an interest in bananas and soccer for the sake of giving her screentime as a villain (Queen Banana, Penalteam). When Chloe had free reign of the city, she actually did stuff on her own that was clever, like the detention setup. We really needed more of this Chloe for the past two seasons if the writers wanted to make her work as a villain, yet they waited until the end of the fifth season to actually do something interesting, and that was after she was told what to do for most of the episode.

And then there's how the conflict was resolved. It's really hard to buy Ladybug and Cat Noir “growing up” and unlocking the full power of their Miraculous, because just like when it was first established in Season 3, it's such a vague term, and only leaves you asking more questions. Neither Marinette or Adrien really had a big moment of personal growth this episode. Yeah, Adrien wanted to tell Marinette about London, but he had been trying to do that since Chloe first took over as mayor. While it's a decent piece of character development after keeping it secret for the past few episodes, it doesn't really do a lot to justify Adrien “growing up”.

Then again, at least Adrien actually got a moment to show his growth compared to Marinette. All she did before she “grew up” was tell the citizens of Paris to keep fighting, but it was such a vague speech and doesn't really scream becoming an adult. If she was going to sacrifice her identity or do something dangerous in order to stop Chloe, that could have worked. Instead, what I can assume was her big moment came after she defeated Chloe, the call at the end, and even then, it was just her telling Chloe how much she sucks, something she's never been afraid to say since the show started. Once again, if you need to tell the audience your show has character development, you're not good at writing character development.

Overall, while these episodes were both really bad, I still think they're at least more tolerable than the previous two.

And with that, I am officially done with the poorly written Chloe episodes. Sure, I still have three more episodes until I finish Season 5, but least this means Astruc will hopefully stop using her in the show, or at least ranting about her on Twitter. Maybe I'll make a character analysis post about her or talk about her during the overview post, but for now...

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews Episode 5-21: The Tiger Miraculous 2: YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD ESCAPE JULEKA DISRESPECT!?

Why the worst akuma? Why? Why? Why? Apparently there was a deleted cathartic apology scene and the whole battle was thought about being removed. What the hell?

You're going to London

Damn. Even Plagg is serious.

That feels OOC. I always saw Rose as wanting to be a children's doctor while Juleka, not being like other goths, would want to be a model.

Lila wants to rule the world. I can tell.

Straight to the shredder

Dumbing down Chloe? Really?

They're cooking

Dumb idiot teenagers. Or is this stretching it?

Wait, when did that happen? A few days ago?

There's the damn retcon. You can't fool me, even if you try to say she did it to spend more time with her girlfriend Rose.

Honestly even if you change the power to be more inline with that stuff that traumatized me on Deviantart I still think it'd be better if she caused the Third Impact instead.

Nuclear bomb

Cap

Oh no. Lila's deathtrap.

Even Sabrina is disgusted!

Villain Monologue

Love me a good surprise trap when the villain thinks they have it all!

Damn. Even if it was a few seconds, I'd still rather have that than the [@#!$]

I know we aren't going back to Corrupt Mayor Andre, but a girlie can dream.

And they're admitting Audrey is evil too, right?

Fuck this shit I'm out

I'm classifying this as a retcon. Also Juleka disrespect. She did this back in season 4 as well. And in the English dub she talked in full sentences back in the first three seasons, and I'd argue it's better that way.

I'm thinking about it and yeah, this basically is a middle finger to Crocoduel. The Juleka Respect episode. Were Lukanette and Adrigami not enough to insult that you had to go for one of my blorbos too!?

Wait, he's fired? Does the school board not exist in this universe?

This again? Can we get to Lila's secret lair if it's here?

Oh no. Just another identity.

My theory on Lila is that she's much older than she looks, and is actually a serial killer that kills other students and takes their identities for her own uses. Lila's mother last episode was actually Cerise's considering the same movie excuse, not to mention it would explain the wig: she thinks Lila's putting on the wig for her filming. I also assume Lila's planning on doing the same to Marinette and possibly even Kagami. As for the woman in the season 4 finale, I assume she's actually a friend of Lila's diplomat mother ensured to take Lila to the station, considering how busy Lila's diplomat mother clearly is.

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #45 – Monstress ,Vol. 7: Devourer by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda

I originally read along with Monstress as it came out. This was the volume I fell off during and honestly, having now re-read it, past-me was pretty much entirely justified in doing so. It’s not that the story’s bad or anything, but the pacing has gone from unhurried to positively meandering and the plot has by now been nearly-entirely consumed by ancient prophecies, alien gods, and long-dead geniuses. At least the art still verges on the sublime.

The story takes place in the hidden stronghold of the Dusk Court, full to bursting with the wonders of Ancient technology and kept safe from even the hint of war by some terrible magical barrier. After being betrayed by her (now presumably very ex-)girlfriend, Maika is in a coma and being transported to the lair of the Snake Queen for careful study until the power within her can safely be controlled. Not that things are going according to plan – Maika’s soul remains inconveniently tethered to her body, and everyone from Kippa to the agents of the Blood Court have their own interests in helping her find her way back.

The volume can be split between Maika’s wandering through a dreamscape with Zinn and her myriad of family issues, and (primarily) Kippa, Corin and Tuya trying to navigate the frosty reception they receive in the Dusk Court on the other. With several other smaller side-plots - ~30 pages an issue and 7 issues a volume is just not enough for this broad a story. The Dusk Court as a setting left me rather cool, to a degree I can’t really explain. ‘What if we made the Dawn Court somehow seem good by comparison’ just doesn’t seem that compelling to me, I suppose, and all the mystery and intrigue just felt kind of one-note and transparent.

Seeing Kippa and Ren reunite was amazing though. Love those two. At this point continuing to read at least 50% on the promise of seeing Maika wake up and the gang getting together again. The character works remains very good, when someone gets some real focus.

Speaking of, Tuya! We finally figure out what her deal is. And what it is is basically the most literal possible realization of the story’s favourite theme – she is a clone and a host for the original Baroness, an Ancient who has lived on for centuries in one disposable clone after another, collecting memories and using each body up until the next is old and fit enough to slide into. The most literally suffocating parent, a greedy, all-consuming past trying to use and discard children as they see fit.

Corin has, to support the theme, been retconned from a war orphan to the heir of repressed and repressive aristocrats who seem to accept him mainly because he’s less of a disgrace than his sister. His time this volume is mostly spent discovering that some faction of the Court’s Ancients have been slaughtering every Arcanic refugee they can in order to reclaim little bits of their diluted power. It’s all very focused and pointed, thematically.

Maika’s plotline is much of the same – she spends basically the entire volume getting her face rubbed in how her entire life has been lived according to the designs of her mother or the Shaman-Empress or both. Comic books are not exactly a medium well-suited to long monologues and introspective digressions, but it works here because the art for these dreamscape scenes is absolutely jaw-dropping. Easily deserving of awards just on their own. I want a couple pages as posters.

But yeah, character designs and writing remains good enough to keep me reading.

[sputnik422]

aespa's SYNK: PARALELL LINE Solos: Review and Appreciation

Dear Reader,

On October 6th, 2024, it was announced that Korean girl group aespa would be releasing a special single comprised of the solo songs each member had debuted during their SYNK: PARALLEL LINE tour. It wouldn't be the first time that the girls dipped their toes into solo endeavors, as their previous tour also featured performances from each member accompanied by original songs. It would, however, be the first time that every single aespa solo had such a big impact on the wider K-pop fan sphere.

Let's just be honest here, these songs are infinitely better than their predecessors in every shape way and form. The upscale in quality was obvious from when the first fancams from the Seoul concerts began to drop. These songs are a different breed and in honor of their official release on all streaming platforms I wanted to take some time to talk about all of the reasons why I love them.

P.S: I don't know anything about musical genres, and I'm actually pretty bad at picking them apart, but I'll do my best for this post!

UP - KARINA

Starting off with the one I have the least things to say about. "Up" is a track that fuses old school hip-hop and R&B elements with electronic pop. It's a complete turn around from her last solo, "Menagerie", and its dark, psychedelic ambiance. It sounded as if you'd just entered the lair of the unbeatable final boss and they were monologuing to you before eating you for dinner. "Up" is dark too, but Karina's rich vocal tone and tasteful delivery elevate the song to a level of class above the former's brash exterior. Where her first solo was rough around the edges, the syllables of her rap being spat into your ears, Karina rides the waves created by Up's prominent bass and makes you want to hear more. Honestly its the best she's ever sounded.

The lyrics aren't anything revolutionary. Karina talks about how she's letting loose, not caring who stands in her way because she's going to get what she's owed. She's not the type to stand back and let the world have its way with her, Karina takes charge in her life. She knows that this confidence is attractive and urges the listener to come closer, being entranced by her. There's nobody else that could ever measure up to her and everyone knows it. The singer herself has been very vocal about how happy she was to be able to write this song and be apart of the development from the start and it shows. This track was tailor made for her. My favorite part about the entire experience is how the power of her deeper vocal tone gets to shine, taking me back to some of my favorite vocal moments from her (her part during the second pre-chorus of Drama, her chorus in Spicy). If I had to nitpick, and I will, I would say that the bridge doesn't really do anything for me. It kind of disrupts the flow of the song in my opinion. Other than that, it's a 10/10. A real testament to the strength of these tracks that something this good could end up as my least favorite. The performance, both her actual stages and the ARTi film, were cool as hell. Mob boss Karina, chef's kiss.

BORED! - NINGNING

Ningning is the member who had my favorite solo from their previous set. "Wake Up" is just as commanding as the title would have you think, with Ningning blatantly provoking the listener. It's a game of cat and mouse, the classic tale of a puppeteer and her craft. There's no use in trying to escape—she knows your every move and you will end up as her plaything—but she doesn't seem to hate the chase either. That fight, the sweaty face and thrashing heartbeat, it just makes the inevitable end so much more satisfying.

"Bored!" is very much in opposition to these themes. The lofi R&B instrumental serves as the backdrop for Ningning and her crazy situationship. In this song Ningning is someone who loves fast and loves strong, feeling drunk on the feeling of infatuation. There's just one problem and I'm sure you could guess from the title: Ningning tends to get bored. No matter how much she may love this person she's never truly going to fall for them, and she doesn't really want to. Just like this we've entered a similarly twisted yet way more lighthearted game. The lyrics lay this plot out for us with feather-light phrases like, "feel the caffeine kicking in / episodic visioning" and "paradise on venus in your eyes". That second line in particular caught my attention when I first heard the song and was even singled out in the behind the scenes recording video. My mind immediately went to the goddess Venus, otherwise known as Aphrodite, who is known for her short yet passionate bouts of love and lust. Perhaps Ningning feels similarly about the subject of the song. Lyrics like "I'm so pretty in your head boy" and "tell me where it goes out of my body / whisper "Pretty" in my head" make it clear that Ningning wants to indulge in their powerful mutual attraction while never intending to commit. It's just not in her nature. It could also be a way of saying that, whenever they're together, the love interest makes Ningning feel like she's on a different planet, floating along the milky way because of his love. Whatever the deal is, Ningning will take the attention and she'll easily hand over her own love too, but the listener can't expect her to stick around. Only until she gets bored.

I'm obsessed with her tone, the sweetness really compliments the lighthearted and playful vibe of the song. It makes everything feel so detached in a way, ungrounded just like the narrator's approach to relationships. I loved her first outfit for the actual performance, the white(?) shirt with 'Bored!' branded across the middle and sparkly black shorts. I hope she'll consider using more lighter colors and pastels in her outfits going forward, I think it fits the song and the concept better than her newer all black ensembles (outfit one, outfit two). The lighter colors make her look unassuming and innocent, heightening the sense of surprise when she turns out to be a bit of a player. Overall, another 10/10. Very well done, (Ning)²!

DOPAMINE - GISELLE

Giselle was the member who I was the most nervous to hear a second solo from. Call me dramatic, call me an over-exaggerator, but "2Hot4U" has to have been one of the most superficial songs ever conceived. Giselle curated an image as "aespa's hot girl" basically since debut and SM very much knew that. What they didn't seem to know however was that the image worked because of her distinctive style and aura, not because she physically had to tell you that she's hot for about three minutes and twenty six seconds. It feels like when a politician mentions a popular meme and suddenly its not cool anymore ("Pokemon GO TO THE POLLS!"). Giselle's line delivery is nasally, making her character feel like a petulant mean girl rubbing her rejection of you in with extra salt and lemon. The song wasn't good and it just didn't suit her at all.

So you can all imagine just how high I jumped for joy was when Dopamine ended up being a masterpiece.

"Dopamine" is a delicate pop R&B track that details a very similar situation to that of Ningning's "Bored!". Where the former has no intentions of committing to a relationship, messing with people as she sees fit, Giselle is very much in denial. She portrays herself as cold and detached "(I don't need a man, just accessories") meanwhile on the inside she is spiraling. HARD. Giselle knows that she's falling in love but she's been burned before and is afraid of being vulnerable with this person ("lock it up inside, I gotta hide the way I feel"). So, she keeps them at arms length, never letting them in and in turn never allowing them the chance to hurt her.

That first line in the chorus, "Be my little secret / Keep it hush hush, but I think I'm in love", it just hits. There's so much emotion rolled up in her delivery of the line combined with the narrative of the song as a whole. Giselle could very well tell this person how she feels, she could even cut them off and never see them again if that option is too hard (and from the look of the lyrics it would be). But still she stays, addicted to the rush of dopamine that she gets from every encounter. Since she can't or won't let herself have love, Giselle will take jewels, diamonds, anything to help fill the void created by her self-isolation, a void only made more prominent by the subject of the song. Its all just so toxic and tragic, the way she wants this man to be choking on his feelings the same way she is. How, deep inside, both parties know Giselle will never open up, yet they choose to act on their desires every time. That is, until the end.

The bridge into the outro itself is better than the entirety of her first solo. The music quiets down as Giselle talks to herself, only able to spill her true feelings when she's alone. She casts away her mask, admitting that her supposed heart of ice has been bleeding this entire time, that even the heavens know she needs this person in her life. She charges up this admission into a beautiful high note, allowing the incoming storm of synth to represent her emotions. Its that final seventy seconds or so, right after the 2:43 mark, that really makes this song for me. The art of the release, when everything falls into place and all of the feelings you've been holding so close to your chest burst from your body. "Dopamine" is gorgeous and mature and paints the picture of a fully realized human being. It's so much more suited to Giselle than the song SM gave her for their previous tour, and I mean gave in the most derogatory way. The subject matter is so real and you feel every drop of yearning in her vocal delivery. I'm glad she got the chance to work with the producers on this one and reinforce the fact that, when they allow her to carry out her vision, she's a very capable artist. The stage performance? Insane. I heard that the couch she used sold out after the first performances in Seoul, that's so hilarious to me.

I want to briefly mention the special version of it that she performed in Tokyo, which switches up the big release at the end for something more subdued and playful. The original outro goes full steam ahead to emotional catharsis while this one, with its very electronic alarm type noises and little metallic tinks, feels much gentler. Like maybe she's learned to be a bit kinder to herself, she's a work in progress after all.

10/10, tens all around. This song was initially tied for first place as my favorite but with the official release I think the scales have begun to shift.

SPARK - WINTER

I don't remember Winter's first solo. I know it was a ballad, and I'm pretty sure it was called "Lips", but that where my knowledge of the whole affair ends. In one of their behind the scene videos for this tour Winter went on to say this about her new solo song: "Last time I did a ballad but this time I wanted to show off more of my dance. I like dancing too, you know". Well, she got me with this one. Boy, did she ever get me! I did not see this triumph coming.

If "Bored!" represents cheeky self-serving apathy and "Dopamine" is self-sabotage, "Spark" is self-actualization and the honesty that comes along with it.

From the very first note of you're left waiting, wanting, anticipation building alongside the beat. Winter's lines are delivered in this airy and sort of crooning tone, it's such a change up from how deep and robust we know her voice can be. In this self written track she urges the subject to tune in to her wavelength, study her down to the very last molecule and accept access into her soul. Winter doesn't shy away from her desires, unafraid of seeming desperate or being too much. She embraces the intensity of this love, this connection with the song's subject, and is practically begging them to acknowledge what is going on. These feelings that have been born between them are about to bear fruit and she knows it. Its only a matter of encouraging the subject to let loose, coaxing them into the headspace where nothing else matters other than the goddess in front of them. Winter needs to push the subject to their limit, until the build up becomes too much and they have to either take action or suffocate on this tension.

They both know what they need and what it takes to get it.

"One little spark and you set me free / Now one becomes two".

I urge you, if there's any part of the song that you choose to blast on full volume, let it be the build up into the chorus. Once again the art of the build and release comes into play here. The song has been steadily building throughout the verse and pre-chorus but as soon as Winter sings, "Now one becomes two", cementing the union between herself and the song's subject, something magical happens. Those four words become an incantation, a spell to open a portal to a technicolor dimension. Winter pushes you in and as you're left to freefall the colorful tunnel begins to churn and collapse in on you. Infinite shades of pink, purple, blue, and blinding white strobe violently; entering your system, charging through your veins and building on top of the already unbearable attraction. The force reaches your eyes as they begin to project a rainbow, different colors flashing into place in time with the quickened beat.

Winter is in front of you again and, holding out a singular matchstick. You both know she can't light it by herself. What is one to do when placed on the precipice, where the stable ground behind symbolizes everything you've ever known while the open air out front symbolizes everything you have ever wanted. Perhaps this was destined, written in the stars. After all, when faced with the latter conditions, is it ever really a choice?

You light the match.

"Only takes one little spark / And we're igniting"

The portal spits you out above a kaleidoscope of a city. You soar, high on the sheer intensity of your connection, the joining of two souls within a space illuminated by a myriad of brilliant colors. "Spark" is an invitation to face your feelings, face your truth. Should you choose to take the risk you'll be swiftly rewarded, sucked into Winter's world and warmed by the eternal flame that burns between the both of you. The moment your souls meet, that critical turning point where one becomes two, there's no going back. It's just so alluring and intimate and sexy and ughhhhhhh.

The live performance is everything I could have ever wanted from Winter. She's always been such a sharp and powerful dancer, the elements of vogueing really suit her and the piece overall. When I saw this fancam of her for the first time I was gagged, speechless because of her beauty and stage presence. That opening sequence with the shadows cast on Winter and all of her dancers as they move as one machine, it's so coooooooool. Her initial outfit is lovely but for the debut of the special version she wore a lilac corset style top with detached puffy princess sleeves and this long veil with flowers sowed onto it, I wanted to die. The special version also plays with the chorus drop, adding in a long moment of silence before the second chorus in order to build even more anticipation. They power walk towards the back, Winter looks back toward the crowd but the lights go out. Cue the lights and the big reveal: the dancers have formed a blooming sun shape around Winter. She flicks a hand and the whole thing implodes, sending the dancers away as she basks in the moment, in her power.

I am not exaggerating when I say that I need this song engraved in the grooves of my brain. The studio recording pushed this one to the top of the rankings for me, I was not prepared for the religious experience I would be faced with when we hit the pre-chorus and beyond. The genre of synth pop has so much potential for conveying the most powerful of emotions, truly one of my favorites. I think this song is single-handedly helping me come to terms with the fact that I'm very much Winter biased, something I've been steadily ignoring since Drama Era. I BOUGHT A TICKET TO GO SEE THEM IN FEBRUARY SIMPLY SO I COULD SEE THIS (and Dopamine, and Drama, and a couple other songs) LIVE!!! I think I might actual perish that day, we'll just have to wait and see.

Glad SM was able to scrape together some brain cells, read the room and actually release these songs to the public. I'm gonna have a blast with these leading up to my concert date. Credit to JUST, Timing, Tsuki, and Jiunan for the pictures that I struggled to make a collage out of. I'm kind of bad with technology sometimes.

Cheers,

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

[meilas]

Socks reviews POTO Poland 2019 part two

part one

Maskenball starts strangely. It's very quiet, and THEN we get to see guys in tuxedos dancing! Except it looks like a party from the 1920s. Christine and Raoul have finally arrived and Raoul is in his normal outfit but Christine is cosplaying Belle. She gets a chance to briefly dance with all the suited guys before meeting up with Raoul in time to ascend the stairs for the climax of maskenball. Glitter confetti! I have to say that while I prefer the OG outfits, I do like how there are no statues on the stairs. Red Death is… a pirate. This is so much better than OG Red Death. I approve. But he really needs to slow down here. Back to the managers' office! Christine is wearing a purple velvet dress that makes her look like a princess. Christine decides she can't go through with The Plan and she books it through what I thought was a window but is actually a door in the office. Raoul monologues to the audience and then follows her. Curtains drop and we seem to have fast-forwarded to Christmas with all the red and green. The choir brings in chairs and a piano and launches into Jingle Bells Don Juan Triumphant. Now the graveyard! Christine is dressed like a Victorian widow and is carrying a bouquet of flowers. Her dad's grave is massive. There are also street lamps. And the background is beautiful. I guess we joined her toward the end of her song (clap clap clap) because here's the Phantom. I alternately like Christine's voice and then hate it. Her tone changes so often from full-bodied to thin. I am happy to report that we get a trio! And they sound pretty good. The Phantom tossed a fireball and went behind the cross on top of the grave, and then he walked out from behind another gravestone on the left side of the stage. Obviously it's a stunt double for the sword fight I was promised, but I was not expecting a double and it was done seamlessly. As far as stage swordfighting goes, this isn't the worst I've seen. But it also could have been better. If they're going to have one of them dodge a swipe, they need to be closer so it doesn't look like the Jedi Force Kick PONR time! Don Juan in this version is apparently a pirate. I don't know what's happening here at the normal unhooding part. He kind of grabs her from behind and just holds her in place? He lets her go and starts singing his proposal and she removes the Dread Pirate Roberts bandana he was wearing. Then Piangi falls out from behind a giant glass prism. Nobody says anything. There's loud boom, the extras start screaming, and the Phantom shouts "no" and grabs Christine and walks her offstage. A couple can-can dancers wheel a loveseat that looks like a pair of lips offstage. The un-bandana-ing was nice, but it didn't quite work. I'm assuming he wasn't wearing his mask under the bandana, so his face was on full display to everyone on stage. Was the boom supposed to be a gunshot that missed him? If so, who was holding it? Back to the Phantom and Chrstine. He's wearing only a shirt and pants and his shirt is untucked. This does not look good. The lair set pieces roll into view, and the mirror is open this time to show the mannequin wearing a wedding dress. A portcullis comes down this time which makes the lair set look a bit smaller. Raoul and Madame Giry appear up high behind the portcullis, so Christine and the Phantom are left to do some random blocking in the lair while that is happening. Unfortunately, we do not get to see all of the Final Lair which really is a pity.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: Bloom by Helen Hardt

2/5. Releases 8/22/2023.

After a failed engagement, Frankie meets a mysterious man who wants her to call him the Phantom. At the Black Rose Underground Club, they have near-anonymous meetings, fulfilling her every fantasy. But as Frankie's feelings deepen, she wants to know the man behind the mask--but he may be more complicated than she expected.

Okay, so. I thought this was going to be a fun, ~modern~ spin on The Phantom of the Opera. Not exactly. It's more a standard contemporary BDSM romance with a bit of flair for the phandom. Unfortunately, it didn't work for me.

Quick Takes:

--This story feels quite rushed. And like, I didn't expect anything other than a fun, kinky romance, but just... the book feels very literally rushed off the last page, and it leaves the reader feeling dissatisfied.

--Frankie overhears that this man is called Phantom, like by other people, like in public, and she recognizes his mask as a Phantom of the Opera mask, and she acknowledges POTO is something that exists in this universe, and he implies this is nOT A COSTUME and perhaps something he wears all the time, who knows? And her response is "intriguing".

I just can't buy that. I can't. This is not an alternate universe. This is our world. There is no way an adult woman who has had enough life experience to get engaged at some point, would go "oh tell me more" about that situation without having some questions. Even in a kink setting, there would be questions, setting a scene, clarification. Even an extreme POTO fan would have at least internal questions, you know? Beyond "intriguing".

--I should add.... I'm not going to act like an expert in kink, and the portrayal of kink in romance doesn't have to be accurate. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't, I've enjoyed books in both contexts. Here, however, it felt surface level in a way I don't think it should have as it was (apparently) an integral part of the novel. It's not the side dish, it's the main course, and it didn't feel authentic here.

--In his first two POV chapters, Phantom quotes two different novels. One is POTO, which I expected. One is The Great Gatsby. There was no damn reason why this man needed to be quoting multiple novels that early in his own personal monologue.

--I think that in order for all of this to feel emotionally plausible, Frankie would've needed to be a massive Phantom Phan. Like, not casual. She has these little musings about floating to his lair or whatever, and I'll be honest, I'm not 100% sure I bought it. No, this woman needed to be like--sobbing about the show closing on Broadway, a Phantom-related account on every social media platform possible, downloads of multiple bootlegs on her hard drive, several of which she filmed herself, a contributor to a Phantom-related publication, Ramin Karimloo's autograph tattoed on her ass, card-carrying STAN. That is the woman who I can buy randomly hooking up with this man in what was not a pre-negotiated (for her) scene.

Like, she's just acting as if this is NORMAL, and again, while kink is in this book, this is not someone she met and formed a connection with outside of kink who's like "hey, I REALLY like to do POTO scenes with my partners, would you be the Christine to my Phantom?" This is just some guy she met at a bar who wears a half mask and talks about haunting an opera house, though I will add, he is not actually the Phantom of the Opera.

I'm super into camp, but I think that when you do not properly acknowledge certain things in a contemporary romance, you cross the line from camp to just distracting, and that's where I was. I couldn't get into the book because I was so distracted.

The Sex Stuff:

The sex is... fine even if I did have my issues with the feeling that the kink wasn't... lived in, somehow? I also have a problem with an adult woman who seems to have a reasonably public, non-sheltered life being shocked when a man uses the "c-word", as she put it (she also doesn't know what a strap-on is, among other things), but that's me. It's not especially kinky, and there was a dialogue moment that really took me out of it, but. It is what it is.

I wish I'd like this more, as I do enjoy POTO, but I just couldn't get into the story.

Thanks to Netgalley and Entangled: Amara for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[taiblogcomics]

Barely a Cammi-o Appearance

Hey there, Iron Man's undergarments. We're down to the wire! Last three issues of Avengers Arena, starting now! Let's fucking goooooooo~!

Here's the cover:

Honestly, kind of a cool cover. And somehow, judging from my research (i.e. checking the "Shout-Outs" section of TVTropes), this one isn't based on a particular movie or anything, unlike so many covers before it. I guess it's just really echoing that style really well. Thankfully, there is actually remarkably little lust in these comics. A bit too much blood, though, and not nearly enough jetpacks. Also, I know the style of these has always been "I was a teenage X", but "was" implies past tense. Cammi is still very much a teenage astrogirl. That didn't stop being a thing that was true or anything~

So, last time we had a big dumb fight scene with Cullen as a monster that ended in Nara's death. Once again, it's kind of hard to be broken up over this OC that was only introduced in this comic and has been kind of obnoxious throughout the story. Understandably, though, Anachronism isn't taking it well. I'm gonna skip over this first page of Arcade monologuing about the value of slow burn stories (I'd like to slowly burn this story, let me tell you), because I truly do not care, and just get to the part where Anachronism swings his axe into Cullen's stomach.

Thankfully, it doesn't result in another death (although it probably should), though it does result in copious amounts of blood. Just as the cover promised! Cullen thinks he deserves it anyways, because he's on his mopey emo teen kick, where he's secretly in love with his best friend, therefore his best friend should kill him for killing his girlfriend. Real fuckin' tragic stuff. Cammi breaks up the fight by shooting Anachronism with her laser gun, which somehow has enough force to send him flying.

Meanwhile, Nico has correctly concluded that everything sucks in this story, so the time for nice and making friends is over. All it got her last time was dead, so she and Chase blast Reptil aside, then she goes rocketing into the ocean with Cullen. Also meanwhile, Hazmat turns up alive, her radiation suit and probably also her stomach wounds leaking heavily. She stumbles across X-23 unconscious in the forest, and tries to move as quickly as she can away from her. But the lingering trigger scent and her wounds rouse X-23 to consciousness. That's not gonna be good for anybody.

So those two duke it out, which actually loops back around to how this all began. Yeah! You remember the very first issue starting with a fight between X-23 and Hazmat? I don't blame you if you don't, I wanna put every thought of that issue out of my head too. But this is that fight, right down to Hazmat's inner monologue about being a hater, which has only become more tiresome in the months since. If this was something we cared about, it'd be a satisfying narrative thing to see the story finally cycle back around to its foreshadowing. But instead it's this story.

Anyways, watching the fight is Arcade, of course, but watching him watch the fight? Hey, you remember that bit where Apex and Deathlocket fell into his lair? Hey, we're finally coming back to that. The pair of them have been hiding in the duct work this whole time, observing Arcade and learning his routine. Hey, you remember how Arcade is a nanite-infused god? Why hasn't he noticed them? Hey, you remember how Apex is a technopath? Why can't she control Arcade's nanites? It's almost like this isn't a very good story~

So Apex and Tim are switching back and forth almost comically now, essentially to carry an argument with each other. I've no doubt alters argue with each other sometimes, but my problem is the ease of their switching, when it took unconsciousness for them to switch before. But if I keep complaining about every detail, we'll never get this review done. We're three paragraphs deep, and I haven't progressed the plot at all! Anyways, the point is that they've repaied and upgraded Deathlocket's cannon arm. Locket gets as annoyed with their arguing as the reader is and decides to head off and put a plan into action.

The plan is maybe Apex/Tim can hack into Arcade's systems, they just need him distracted enough to do so. Locket first tries letting some of the animals loose, but Arcade's robot assistant just rounds them up. She upgrades to actually breaking stuff, but he sends the robot in to deal with it again. Can't you see Grandma's watching her stories? She picks up Kid Briton's sword and cleaves the robot in twain, but gets startled by one of the other bodies in the storage room. It's Darkhawk, and he's still alive! Seeing him roused from death makes her scream, which is finally enough to get Arcade off his ass to check on things himself.

With Arcade having left his creepy observation deck, Apex swings into action. Or at least she tries, since Tim keeps switching in to argue that they should go check on Deathlocket. That scream sounded real, and she could be in trouble. Once she gets Tim off her back (with a lot of insufferable British slang, by the way), she manages to break into Arcade's network, only to then set off one of his firewalls, which is just him ripping off a similar thing from Jurassic Park, right down to the finger-wagging.

So Arcade comes back in, leading a shocked Deathlocket, and doing his smuggy-smug superior taunting stuff. He's a little impressed they're down here, thinking they were already dead, and he just has them have a seat while he watches more of his teens-fighting-teens spank bank. Nico's still dragging Cullen through the ocean, Cammi has Chase at gunpoint, Anachronism's fighting a triceratops for some reason... And while he's gloating at how beautiful it all is that he's finally pushed everyone over the brink, the comic ends with Arcade getting clubbed over the head by Darkhawk, now fully conscious and mobile! Oh, finally an issue with a good ending~

Well, I could complain about how this is another dumb fight scene issue, or how even the parts that aren’t are annoying because of the constant bickering between Tim and Apex. Or even Apex being annoying all by herself by a combination of her smug attitude (only a hair under Arcade’s own) and the need to remind you she’s English by shoving in Britishisms into every dialogue balloon to the point she sounds like an old-timey Cockney thief character. But honestly, that last panel with Darkhawk standing over Arcade brandishing a weapon is just so satisfying... I can’t wait to see how they ruin this moment next issue~

[newfiesatnasa-fr]

LIGHTNIGN ROUND

ok so like 3 people are up and i lvoe you all but 2 those shy people we got

LIGHTNING ROUND LAIR REVIEWS LETS GO LESBIANS!! REMEMBER MY OLD LAIR REVIEWS? YEAH THESE ARE MORE WILD BC ITS IN ALL CAPS

ILL BE PICKING ONE (1) DRAGON FROM UR LAIR AND ILL ABSOLUTELY SCREAM ABOUT THEM!!! NONSENSE!!! IM TIRED AND CONFUSED ND IM READY TO LOOK AT A DRAGON AND HAVE MY MIND BLOWN 

so please, reblog this post w/ ur lair and ill pick ONE (1) dragon (plus a possible shoutout) from ur lair and fuckign SCREAM about them!! HELL YEAH LETS DO THIS

ITLL ONLY OPEN FOR A LIMITED TIME THO SO REBLOG THIS AT LIGHTNING SPEEDS!!!!!! HURRY!!!

(please. please do not pay me i love u all for being thoughtful but please its just 1 dragon and ill be forced 2 use my gun emoji on u)

[relative-dimension]

“Five Hundred Eyes”

Season 1, episode 16 - 7th March 1964

[id: French orientalist Paul Pelliot examining a manuscript in the Library Cave of the Mogao Caves (the Caves of a Thousand Buddahs). He is sat on the floor, and around him are stacked many other manuscripts and books. /end id]

Okay, this review was going to be the part where I talked enthusiastically about the genuine attempt to depict Chinese culture in this serial, maybe talk about the lovely sets, and centre the entire discussion around Ping-Cho’s story in the middle of the episode. Fortunately, I decided to do some research around that story before writing it. You will see why I needed to do research and this may end up being a bit long and a bit of a rant but hey, I’m a history nerd and I don’t want to misrepresent anything, and I now have a lot of opinions about how John Lucarotti went about crafting a historical story. We’ll get there.

Is it an entertaining watch: 3/5, yeah, not much happens but I love the production and while watching it this was the point where I started to like this serial. Upon further research, I don’t any more.

Does the production hold up: 2/5, again, yellowface, but some of the sets in this serial are really nice, althought the Cave of Five Hundred Eyes itself really looks like shit from what I can tell.

Does it use its time well: 3/5, the first half drags a bit in a way that feels like it’s trying its hardest to move on, but by the middle it’s settled into a slow pace that feels deliberate, with time for Ping-Cho’s story (we get there when we GET there, I’m saying nice things at the moment) and the slow build-up of the threat at the end leading to the cliffhanger (more on that side of the story tomorrow).

Are the characters consistent and well-used: 4/5, yeah, they all get something to do, and there’s at least one fun or interesting scene for each of them. I saw some reviewers complain that Ian giving out fun facts about etymology

Is there anything actually going on under the surface: 1/5, as will become apparent, I suddenly don’t have much faith that John Lucarotti put any thought at all into this serial, and just wanted to put to screen as many things that Marco Polo said happened as possible.

Does it avoid being a bit dodge with its politics: 1/5, ah, and now we get to the good stuff. And by that I mean that bad stuff. I’m gonna have to actually organise this into paragraphs to properly explain what I mean.

As I mentioned earlier, in roughly the middle of the story, Ping-Cho tells a story about the Cave of Five Hundred Eyes, in which “Ala-eddin, the Old Man of the Mountains” uses “devious schemes” and the hashish drug to trick his soldiers into believing they were in paradise, then using that faith to convince them to give their lives for him, or else they would never see that paradise again, as only he had the power to take them there. Then, “mighty Hulagu” besieged their “lair” for three years, before killing them.

In my initial outline for this review, I praised the writing and production for giving the only actually Asian actor the monologue in which she tells a story from her culture and history. Unfortunately, upon even the smallest amount of research (I only had a day to write this, but I spent several hours reading various wikipedia articles and their sources to confirm this), I learned that this story isn’t a traditional Chinese legend about the Hashshashin, nor is it an accurate historical source. It is something that Marco Polo and other European scholars believed, as Marco Polo himself documented the story himself and is one of the original sources, but its authenticity has been thoroughly debunked.

The real history is that of the conflict between the Mongol empire, under Möngke Khan and Hülegü Khan, and the Nizari state of Alamut, ruled by Alā ad-Dīn Muḥammad, in which 100,000 Nizaris were massacred by the Mongols. However, this part is not the focus of Ping-Cho’s story, more of an afterthought and an explanation for why they aren’t around any more. The  bulk of the story revolves around the story of The Old Man of the Mountains, which has a complicated history too. The real “Old Man” was Hasan-i Sabbah, founder of the Nizari Isma'ili state in c.1090 and its fida'i military group, who would eventually gain the name “Assassins”. The origin of this name for the group is disputed, but it’s not because of the hashish drug, Ian.

The most compelling piece of evidence I found against this story of the Nizari fida’i was that of Peter Willey, who argues that according to the esoteric doctrine of the Nizari, the Isma’ili understanding of paradise was spiritual, not simply physical. Therefore, they would not have been fooled by a pretty garden and hot women into believing they were in paradise, or that only Hassan-i Sabbah was able to get them there again. Willey also points out that Juvayni, courtier of Hulagu Khan, surveyed the Alamut castle where the Nizari were, and found no evidence of any garden - and given how Juvayni destroyed texts in the library he deemed heretical, it would be surprising if he saw the drug use and temptation of this supposed garden and didn’t make note of it.

So if, even in contemporary non-Ismaili Muslim sources which were hostile to the Ismailis, there is no evidence of this story or any link of hashish to the Assassins, where did this come from, and why did John Lucarotti put it here? Well, that’s part of a long history of orientalism that I don’t have the time, energy, or knowledge to get too deep into, but I’ll give it my best shot.

The Nizari fida’i soldiers were known for not fearing injury or death, and the Crusaders, being the Crusaders, didn’t understand how they could be so loyal to their cause as to throw their own lives away (one story of similarly dubious origin describes them literally throwing themselves off cliffs at the order of their commander, as proof to an enemy leader that they were more loyal and therefore dangerous than the other larger army).

The term “hashishi” was used by 1122, with derogatory connotations of outcasts and rabble, to refer to the Nizaris, by their enemies, the term having its origin describing criminals who were mentally absent, and therefore similar to the effects of the hashish drug. However, no evidence points to the drug being used by the Assassins, or there being a link to the word being used for them and the taking of the drug, not even from the anti-Isma’ili Muslim sources at the time. However, the Crusaders and other Europeans at the time didn’t know this, which is why Marco Polo describes a legend involving the drug.

The fear of the Isma’ili as deadly, radical, and bloodthirsty assassins was linked to the hashishi term and therefore the hashish drug, and also to William of Tyre’s “Old Man of the Mountain” description of the Isma’ili leader at Alamut, and was filtered through various orientalist tropes around the secret practices of the Nizaris created by Crusaders ignorant of Islam, and through the 12th and 13th centuries this combination become a legend similar to that which Ping-Cho describes. These stories were popularised in the 19th century by orientalists such as Joseph von Hammer-Purgstall, and presumably through these sources, along with translations of Marco Polo’s writings, eventually reached John Lucarotti.

Now, my first instinct after learning all of that was to think “ah, but it was the 1960s! The main book that you looked at was published in 1995, there just wasn’t much research put into this by the 1960s.” And while yes, there wasn’t as much research, there was still some. Modern Isma'ili scholarship, pioneered by historians such as Vladimir Ivanov at the Islamic Research Association in the 1930s and 40s, laid the groundwork for disproving these legends, and all of that could have been researched by Lucarotti when writing this. Now, maybe he didn’t think to check that Marco Polo wasn’t 100% right about everything, or maybe the intention was to provide a depiction of Marco Polo’s perspective on ancient China, or maybe Lucarotti thought that since this legend was around at the time, telling it in the story was historically accurate. However, I think all of this is giving Lucarotti too much credit. I think what happened is he read Marco Polo’s diaries, and adapted stories into this Doctor Who serial, and then, despite this being a supposedly educational show, didn’t think any more of it, resulting in an uncritical regurgitation of orientalist tropes and etymological misnomers that had me fooled into thinking he was providing an accurate depiction of this culture and time period. Ugh.

Overall Score (oh yeah this is a Dr Who review not a history essay) - 14/30

[dreamsclock]

Wilbur skulking like "w/ its not even that big of a hole, like a dent more like it" bc Phil keeps affirming he Techno n Dream did Dooms Day n Techno is all "Oh is the man whos failed at being a goverment AND an anrchist feeling inadequate" bc he will always Hype Phil even aginst his own son or bc. Everyone keeps calling the Egg Tbe BIGGEST sever threat like C!Wilbur just being the biggest pick me girl about his nefarious plots (And in more serious moments saying his lack of tact is bc everyone on the sever is driving eachorher to break all of their moral codes n ethics so why not spur it on freely - talking about a day where they are all united on the battle field in a everyone against everyone blood war to end it all where he can pick the scraps up and piece them together again // compelx around starting conflict to spark unity as a "necessary evil" - but not before he has fun being alive again)

But also he wants his ego stroked, somone tell him his lair is nefarious and his monologues are threatning

this is SUCH a funny mental image to me because it feels so much like it could be canon ??? the idea of c!wilbur needing flattered and praised for his evil plans and accomplishments is so funny oh my god

warnings: death, explosions, mental instability

“Tommy,” Wilbur asks confidentially, holding him at sword-point, “is this good? Are you feeling intimidated?”

Tommy, on three hearts and terrified out of his mind, immediately feels his fear beginning to rescind. He stares at Wilbur, eyes narrowing in disbelief. “What?”

Wilbur has the audacity to look impatient with him, sweeping a hand around at the chaos and debris around him. Snowchester is in ruins, the rest of the server not looking much better, and his fucking brother is asking for villainy reviews.

Nothing has fucking changed, Tommy thinks bitterly, Wilbur is an idiot.

“Well, I just mean, I’m kind of rusty,” Wilbur says, stabbing his words into the dirt and leaning on it contemplatively, “thirteen years in a void will do that to you. I’ve had plenty of time to plan, but I feel like to really master something, you have to put it into practice, you know? I just wanted to check with you that I was doing good.”

Tommy tries to count to ten in his head, he really does, nine, eight, seven-

“Also, I took one of Ranboo’s lives.” Wilbur rubs the back of his neck, frowning and pulling out a sparkly black notebook with the word VILLAINY scrawled over it. “I think that might have been slightly too ambitious, you know, putting all my eggs in one basket, but-”

Six. Tommy explodes. 

“You did what?!”

Wilbur giggles, waving a hand dismissively. “You’re so dramatic, Tommy, really, you don’t need to yell. He has two more, not to mention, I don’t really know who he is, so it’s alright. So you think I’m doing well so far.”

“No, Wilbur!” Tommy feels like he’s about to burst. “No, I think you’re doing bad! I think you’re doing shit, I think you’re fuckin’ evil, I think you’re fucked up and-”

“That’s a good thing!” His brother claps his hands, looking delighted. “That’s what I want to hear, Tommy, seriously, thank you. So, is that five out of five stars, or...?”

Tommy scrambles to his feet, spitting at the ground between them. “Go fuck yourself.”

Wilbur hums in thought. “Worse than the Egg, then?”

Yes, Tommy goes to say, only to hesitate at the eager look on Wilbur’s face. He’s learned a thing or two after being in Pogtopia with him for so long, and he’s not so hasty to giving Wilbur what he wants now. “Nah,” he says, trying to sound casual, “the Egg is by far the worst evil on this server. It’s the biggest threat we’ve ever had to-”

He’s cut off by Wilbur slamming his sword into the ground in absolute frustration, appalled, betrayed, miserable. “For fuck’s sake!” He whines- Tommy stares at him in stunned disbelief. His brother is whining, complaining about not being the biggest villain and- Jesus Christ, the standards of evil on this server are really beginning to drop, Tommy almost misses Schlatt. “This isn’t fair: I’ve blown up the prison, I’ve blown up Snowchester, I’ve killed Ranboo - I don’t know what more I’ve to do!”

“Destroy the Egg,” Tommy suggests, struck with a sudden moment of genius, “one threat destroyed by another will really determine who’s more powerful.”

Wilbur stops his sulking a minute, looking at him in hope. “You think so?”

“I know so,” Tommy says wisely, “trust me. I recommend it.”

“There’s a reason you’re my favourite,” Wilbur says sweetly, pulling him in for a brotherly hug that involves hair-ruffling on Wilbur’s side and copious swear words from Tommy, “you’re the best. I’ll be back next week after it’s destroyed! Don’t die until then - I have plans for you!”

And then he’s gone, sweeping away in a flurry of dramatic coattails and ciagrette smoke - and Tommy doesn’t know whether to despair or to laugh.

“How’d you get rid of him?” Tubbo calls across the land, running over to him. “He left so quickly!”

Tommy’s eyes follow his brother until Wilbur fades out of render distance, and finally turns to Tubbo, feeling half-terrified by what the future will bring, and half-victorious.

“Just wounded his ego a bit,” he says honestly, “he’ll be back next week.”

They’ll have to find another villain for Wilbur to fight off in the meantime.

[silviakundera]

Luoyang episode 1 watch notes

(there's spoilers u guise)

First episode is on YT let's gooooo

the opening backstory monologue: fictional historical set w empress in charge instead an emperor? I am intrigued. First time for me in CN palace dramas. I honestly don't know anything about this empress' reign, so I'm going in completely cold here.

Ok, it so so fckin pretty like YES YES sumptuous colors and vibrant city feels

Good intro on the 3 mains. The female inner guard character is immediately appealing. Mr Scraggly Hair is appropriately mysterious. Scholarly official boy is less immediately interesting, except his fussy but practical officialness and intensity about food reminds me of Tang Fan from Fourteenth Year of Chenghua. and I LOVE that character, so I'm inclined to like him. (Also interested to see if this actor can do more than Lan Wangji.)

Enjoying the little touches of how this isn't exactly the standard ancient china drama: first royals we're introduced to are empress, princess, crown princess;  there's a character reluctant to marry (likely to maintain their independence) but being forced to by their parents, but this time it's a son, not the daughter. There's a palace guard with doubts who you just know will get wrapped up in dangerous politics, but this time that guard is a woman.

It's just these subtle differences. No intentional gender play; writer is just telling a story and the story is comfortably familiar in many ways, but just w a slightly different flavor.

Hmmm inner guards vs judicial review infighting drama!!

And Scraggly Man of Mystery is like a coroner for Court of Judicial Review?? And also a masked man who sneaks into prisions to whisper mysterious things to prisioners and murder them for...? the mystery? 🤔

Love the ominous music and serious face of mysterious murder dude. He really has a whole VIBE.

'I've already tortured, er INTERROGATED 12 of ur buds. You are #13. Don't worry, I only stabbed u three times, nbd. I'll be back.'

asdfhjkj who is this man? Why is he so extra in everything he does? Why does his hideout look like the lair of a serial killer lmao

Inner guard really likes throwing around the empress' name, hope she can back it up. Otherwise, seems unwise.

I can't get over how gorgeous these settings are. Applauds, applauds to the set designers and director.

Fussy rationalist official boy Baili has a really pretty house and not much going on so far. I'm rooting for you to join the plot gege! u can do it!!!

why tf does this man have a crowd around him every time he eats. he has an active queue lmaooooooooooo

also noted: liking the relationship btw inner guard and her more politically savvy superior. Really hope he doesn't turn out to be evil

then Scraggly Man of Mystery goes all S1 Angel on Buffy at our local food critic !! He's joined the plot! sort of. Look, Sir Scraggles, you are not actually a 200 year old vampire and thus perhaps you could be a little more helpful????

And then he publically confesses to murder because cliffhanger.

[strawberrylemonz]

January 20, 2021 - DSMP

Here is my review of what happened on today’s stream! Keep in mind that I was only watching Tommy’s POV, but will be analyzing any other viewpoints that I come across (Mainly Tubbo’s)

I’m going to be honest with everyone, I was unsure as to whether not any of our boys would make it out alive. I went into the stream preparing the worst.

Tommy and Tubbo talking each other up, preparing to leave made me feel all kinds of thing. Like I stated earlier, I was prepared for the two to end their adventure today. I vibed with them when they walked down the prime path, and froze up when I saw the first person in line. I’m not ashamed to say that I nearly sobbed when I saw everyone line up to say their goodbyes to the boys (I’m sensitive, shut up). 

The way Sam kept giving them stuff??? Loved that

The way Tommy and Quackity’s voices quivered when they spoke to each other? Punch to the heart?

Tommy telling Eret that she was always the true king??? YES!!! POP OFF!!!

The entire trip to where Dream was both made me happy and broke my heart. Here, we saw these boys, children forced to grow up quickly to be used by those they trusted, do their best to be kids for a moment. They were kids for, what they believed, could be the last time. They had their serious moments where Tommy kept reminding Tubbo that it was okay to not feel okay about the situation. Where Tommy didn’t want Tubbo to hide his inner thoughts from him just to try and make him feel better. The moment that they watched the sun together made me all sentimental and shit. Tommy preparing to die and have Tubbo leave and tell his story broke me. 

“Why did you tell me to bring Tubbo?”

“Because, it’s always been you and Tubbo against me, remember? Ever since the beginning, Tommy and Tubbo against Dream” (paraphrasing)

I actually got hyped up when Tommy got the disc. It reminded me of Tommy’s clutch the time he dropped the disc down to Tubbo and knocked Dream off the tower using only planks. I had let my hope for them grow. And then I had my heart broken.

Dream using Tubbo against Tommy was something that I expected would happen, but I still wasn’t prepared for it to actually happen. I don’t think I’ll easily forget about how Tommy gave up the disc to Dream, even when Tubbo begged for Tommy to keep the disc and go. My heart nearly dropped to my stomach when I saw Dream break that first dirt block. It dropped when he told the boys to put their armor in the hole. 

I have to admit, I was kinda confused that the homeless man had an evil lair and not a home, but pop off I guess??? The elevator was pretty cool, ngl

When I saw the two discs on the floor, I thought, “Bitch, you better be polishing this fucking floor every 30 minutes. Disrespect Nicki Minaj? What?” My second thought was, “why tf did you make two giant ass shrines for these discs??? Didn’t even center them, wtf dude.”

When Dream was monologuing and showing off the stolen goods and pets (and Skeppy) he stole from everyone, I knew he was on something. Him calling Tommy the key confirmed that Dream was overthinking everything and seeing things in places they didn’t belong. Did Tommy initially bring these bonds? Bring all the things Dream said he did? Yeah, I’ll admit it, he did. But it was the people in the server that kept that going, kept it alive. If not Tommy, someone else would have started that chain. The way Tommy look horrified and uttered with a horrific tone, “how do you not hurt?” when Dream mentioned how he cut off all his attachments was hnnnnnnnn

Tubbo actively trying to protect Tommy from going to prison while Tommy was actively trying to protect Tubbo from permanently dying was-

Man

Man, that broke my heart.

“You wanna be the hero of this server? Every hero has an origin story. Batman had his parents, Spider-Man had Uncle Ben. You have Tubbo.”

The look of complete horror/terror that came across Tommy’s face the instant those words were spoken. He genuinely looked scared. He kept trying to defend Tubbo, despite Dream repeating how defenseless Tommy was against him. Dream telling the boys to say their good byes hurt me in more ways that I can describe. Tommy was panicking, actively trying to come up with ways to get Tubbo out of there, no matter the cost or price that he had to pay. Tubbo telling him that it was okay, everything would be okay, he would be okay. The way Tommy was desperate to hold onto his best friend, his Tubbo, whilst saying, “You can’t be okay with this! Why are you okay with this?”

My heart nearly stopped for a second the moment Tubbo said “goodbye, Tommy”

My mind flashed back to Tubbo saying those exact words whilst exiling Tommy, his best friend, for the sake of everyone being safe. Now, here he was again, saying those exact words to the exact same person. The only difference? He wasn’t sacrificing his best friend for the sake of everyone and Dream. No, he was sacrificing himself for the sake of his best friend, his only true friend, Tommy. 

“Get away from them”

“Punz?”

“I’m sorry Dream, but you should have paid me more.”

Literal chills. I cannot. It’s the “On your left” of the DSMP. The way everyone came through the portal to line up against this tyrant that manipulated them all. The way I imagined everyone coming through to see this decked out dude with a god complex about to murder a bloody and bruised child, said child’s best friend (also bloody and bruised) was watching, begging to have his friend spared. Imagining how they saw the tear streaks down the boys’ messed up faces as they accepted their fates. As they saw their fear turn to hope as Tommy got Tubbo behind them for safety. How Tommy entrusted them to keep Tubbo safe. How they all came, decked out, to defend these two children. 

How Quackity came in nothing but his yeezys because he just fucking knew that Dream wouldn’t put up a fight. The way Dream was so confident that he had power over everyone because he rid himself of his bonds towards objects and friends, only for that to be his downfall. The way Sapnap, Dream’s old friend, his buddy, was the one to give Tommy the pickaxe. The way Puffy was there to protect the two boys she renounced his duckling title for (and the nation).

The way Tommy dug a hole, without any protection or weapons, and had Dream throw his stuff in. The way he didn’t blow any of Dreams shit up, like he had happen to himself, and, instead, used Dream’s things to protect Tubbo and everyone else. The way Tommy took away Dream’s first two lives, paralleling the times Dream took Tommy’s two lives. The way Tommy boxed him in, like Tubbo was at the festival, and the way Tubbo held a bow to Dream. The way Tommy screamed at Dream to tell everyone what he had done. How Dream was the one to blow up the community house. How Dream tormented the poor boy in exile. The way Tommy didn’t spare him because he liked him, or wanted to play mind games with him. No, Tommy spared him because he had a chance to get his brother back, his family. 

“Let’s make Wilbur proud. SUCK IT GREEN BOY!!!!”

“SUCK IT GREEN BOY!!!!”

The way the boys sincerely thanked everyone for showing up, fully knowing that they didn’t have to do shit. The way that Tommy said to go to Tubbo’s vc, obviously warming Tubbo’s heart. The way they made it to bench, and finally had a chance to breathe. How they could sit their, listen to their discs, and be kids again. No wars, no going against Dream, nothing. They could just be Tommy and Tubbo, like it’s always been since the beginning. 

Then Wilbur fishfucking Soot had to crash the moment like the older brother he was, lmaooooo. 

“You didn’t die”

“Ghostbur?”

“I’m not Ghostbur.”

I sucked in a breath, not knowing how the interaction was going to go. Was Wilbur still in the mindset he was whilst blowing up the nation he and his younger brother created? Was he in a mindset before that? Was he sane? 

I must admit, their bickering match, along with Tubbo’s dancing, made me realize how much I missed their dynamic. I realized how much I missed Wilbur being in the picture. (Tommy whispering to Tubbo how he liked Ghostbur was hilarious)

Wilbur complaining about being stuck with Schlatt in the afterlife was hilarious. Wilbur admitting that he was preparing, waiting, for Tommy, his younger brother, to join him in the afterlife had me gripping my plushies. Wilbur telling Tommy that he’s proud of him put a sledgehammer into my fragile dam. 

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon.”

THEY. ARE. BROTHERS!!!!

It was just so refreshing to see these two get the happy ending they deserved in this arc. The pain and suffering these two children went through at the expense of others, how they were forced to grow up quickly because of their situations, all of that was finally pushed towards the path of recovery. And although they’ve been through hell and back, it’s still them. Although the future will be hard for them, throwing more trials and difficult choices, they know that they’ll make it out, because that how it’s always been. And if their strengthen bond after today can tell them anything, it’s that it’ll always be like that.

It’s always been Tommy and Tubbo.

What I want/what I predict

FOR GEORGE TO BE AWAKE FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS

Everyone complimenting Niki on her new fit better fucking happen, I will manifest it

Dream will use his favor from Techno to break out of prison

Connor playing a bigger role in the SMP

Foolish revealing that they don’t need Dream alive (hopefully)

Ghostbur to say a proper goodbye before Wilbur is revived

GLATT

GLATTBUR

SBI reunion with every alive for more than five fucking minutes

Wilbur ignoring his dad Phil and zooming over to little brother Tommy so that he can hug him and tell him that he’s safe now and that he’s so proud of him

THERAPY ARC!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYONE LOVELY, PLEASE

JUST GET EVERYONE INSIDE THE THERAPY GROUP SECTION AND TALK ABOUT THEIR TRAUMA AND FEELINGS SO THEY CAN ALL CLEAR UP THEIR MISUNDERSTANDINGS!!!!!

The egg will start to negatively affect people, causing those not affected to fear for their home and friends

SBI + TUBBO AND RANBOO VS EGGPIRE????? POG?????

Tubbo nuking L’manhole to get rid of the spreading red

Techno/Phil to come to an understanding with Tommy; vice versa

Those unaffected teaming up to safe those affected

Someone (preferably Ranboo) unintentionally activating the End Portal lmao

The rest of the SBI + Tubbo saving Tommy from being murdered by Jack and Niki

Jack and Niki learning that killing the child is not the fucking answer to their problems (If it didn’t work for William Afton, it won't work for y’all. Stop trying to be the man behind the slaughter)

Techno and Tommy rebuilding their trust and friendship with each other

Tommy giving Techno the Axe of Peace

Sam being influenced by the egg and becomes corrupted

Ranboo being free??? Pog???? Pog

Puffy and Niki having a one-to-one conversation about their personal opinions and goals

Puffy visiting Dream whilst he sits in his cell

Skeppy and Bad to be okay again :(

Everyone infected to be okay again :(

Tommy bonding with Eret

Big Q continuing to hold Clingy Duo close to him

Schlatt coming back but instead of trying to run for president and mess with everyone, he’s just everyone’s drunk uncle that somehow gives wise advice to every situation

Wilbur coming back but he’s that angry older cousin that only allows the favorite family members(Tommy)/friends to stay in his room 

GIVE ME MEXICAN DREAM AND GIRL DREAM!!! ONLY HETERO RELATIONSHIP I SEE THAT IS BEYOND POGGERS

Lani and Drista to make a comeback at the same time

Tommy meeting more family members

The kids being able to be kids

Lani selling yeezy

Drista w/ bedrock

Drista laughing at Dream’s imprisonment

Everyone finding peace within each other’s chaos and living in harmony

[thatludicrousdisplay]

internal monologue: IT Crowd s2ep1

we reached season 2!!! please enjoy this one :)

roy yeeting up and the other two jumping i love it

“and i can buy that new--- oh no i lost it all again...”

“what brings you to my lair? not that i’m some sort of animal...... or maybe i am” JEN 

ROY’S RESPONSE IS THE BEST 

YES MOSS REPLYING I LOVE IT

“he was looking at me” 

also why does moss agree so readily to what is clearly a date???

YES MOSS IN THE THEATRE IMAGINE

and roy chipping in!!! i love it!!

i love how when roy talks to anyone else in the room he wheels himself back from his desk

phillip just like: yeah sure lads come along

JEN IS SO MAD AT THEM 

“it’s just, i don’t know many heterosexual men who read heat” 

“he’s either gay or a woman in her early twenties” 

MOSS JUST CHIPPING IN I LOVE IT

“he’s been gay since wham” accurate

ROY SHAKING HIS HEAD AT HIM

“he borrowed heat?? oo lala!” 

MOSS YOU CAN’T SAY THAT SHE’S GOING TO KILL YOU

roy is me with the walking 

“i’m not going to spoil your romantic evening with the gay man” 

“oh look, richmond’s still alive!” 

RICHMOND’S WHOLE SPEECH I LOVE IT 

honestly i love season 2 cos we get so much more richmond

also i’m jealous of richmond’s outfit 

“well that’s just bloody rude” YEAH YOU TELL THEM BABS 

“a gay musical..... called gay. that’s quite gay” true 

“aren’t all musicals gay?” Yes

THE REVIEWS OH MY GOD 

“uGH, no. it’s set in the 80s” 

roy: *defending how comfortable he is with his sexuality* also roy: *looking down and looking all shifty*

moss and roy are standing so close again

moss!!!! stimming w/his coat strings!!!!

don’t at me but jerome and phillip would make a good couple

“yeah we’re all insane” roy is already so done with everything i love it

them talking about laura knightley i love that little bit

“welcome, to the united......... QUEENDOM” i already want to go and see this show 

moss is so shocked and i love it

laura knightley’s character is so CUTE and i love her outfit

MOSS LOVES IT YES

“hold my hand................ nO, tHat’S NoT My HaNd” 

roy just wants to get out 

“it’s too gay for me” my mum when i start talking about lgbtq issues

“are you wearing that shirt for a bet?” 

WHY IS MOSS WATCHING THE DUDE SO CAREFULLY AND BITING HIS LIP LIKE THAT

roy is just like: moss stop talking stop talking stop talking 

“i think it’s fabulous, every value i’ve ever held is being questions, and i’m loving it” THE WAY HE TILTS HIS HEAD I LOVE 

jen has no idea what’s going on

moss and roy are so adorably awkward

before i watched this i didn’t realise a toilet guy was a thing in male toilets!!! they certainly don’t have them in ladies’ toilets 

“i just paid a pound not to go to the toilet!” 

“YOU CAN’T USE THE DISABLED” roy listen to moss

of course roy pulls the wrong thing

ngl this episode has actually helped me cos every time i’m in a disabled toilet (sometimes coffee shops only have one toilet ya know) i’m hyperaware of the red string

“i’M DisABlEd” 

any normal person would have just explained “oh sorry it was an accident” but not roy!!! he immediately goes to “oh imma pretend to be disabled” 

“i don’t know” *starts crying* literally me when a teacher calls on me in class

moss is just like “fuck it this’ll do” 

THE PEOPLE CARRYING ROY OMG

once again, instead of explaining the mistake moss just be like “yep i’m totally a staff member” 

“I’M DISABLED” 

of course roy would accidentally describe someone who’s at the play

awwwwwwwwwwwwww the way moss just stares at the ground you know he’s been in that bathroom for a good 15 minutes panicking about what to do

“maybe you have to be............. gay” but moss enjoyed it???? have i got validation for my headcanon???????????? i’m taking this and running with it 

oh my god the SLOWNESS of the lift 

roy just wants this to be over 

phillip knowing everyone is just great

“oh you know, just from around” when your mum asks you how you know people and you don’t wanna tell her

JEN CLAPPING EYES ON ROY YES

AND ROY STARING AT THE FLOOR AND BARELY LOOKING UP AT JEN 

“ten years..........................??”

“how did it happen, if that’s not a rude question?” “..................acid” 

JEN TURNING AWAY FROM ROY TO SEE MOSS BEHIND THE BAR IS PEAK COMEDY

HE BREAKS ALL THE GLASSES

eyy at least he got to meet laura knightley!!! 

“it must be so difficult being gay and disabled” the way roy just.............. plays along 

roy having to hide his face because he knows if his mum accidentally sees the newspaper she will rip the shit out of him

JEROME NO YOU CAN’T DO THAT

oh my god the awkward almost kiss

“ARE YOU GAY” when you spot someone cute in public and you need to know

tbf you can see why jen’s sus lmao

although phillip does make some good points

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand then he breaks down at the mention of heat

FUCK OFF PHILLIP JEN IS GORGEOUS AND WOMANLY AND JUST............

roy is again just so done 

WHEN HE REALISES THEY’RE GOING TO MANCHESTER

awwwwwwwwwwwww moss at the bar 

OF COURSE HE BREAKS ALL THE GLASSES AGAIN MY LOVE 

[yicruz48]

Teen Titans Review #43

July/14/2020.

This issue is the continuation of the Teen Titans (Emiko, Wallace, Roundhouse and Crush) investigating the murder of Brother Blood. 

The issue begins with Damian fighting crime in Gotham City  and collecting data on KG Beast that I believe he uses later in the issue to find him. He is again sputtering insults at Batman’s way of handling things which seems to be his default inner monologue under Robbie Thompson. 

And while I agree Batman methods aren’t the best, it makes Damian seem like a know-it-all that somehow knows more about fighting crime than his father who has spent longer fighting against it. For me personally, this makes Damian to be foolishly ignorant.  

As Damian starts to struggle against his opponents Jon suddenly swoops in to assist him.   

Although I admit I was pleasantly surprised to see Jon appear again in Teen Titans (even if it was aged-up Jon) there is apart of me that felt like this essentially useless to the story. 

Jon expresses his concern for Damian’s future, he confesses that he has heard and seen things while with the Legion that has made him worry about Damian. I’m not sure if this implies Jon knows about what has been going on in the batfamiy or with Teen Titans although it surely confirms Jon is concerned.  

Although not concerned enough to further question if Damian is really okay. What really frustrates me is that a correctly-written Jon would not just settle with, “I am fine, Jonathan,” especially if Damian turned his back on him as he answered (clearly indicating that he wasn’t okay). The real Jon would most likely continue to annoy Damian about what's going on until he confesses. The real Jon would possibly drop everything with the Legion to watch over Damian. 

Unless, (and I hate to say this) this is an indication that Damian and Jon’s friendship is wavering and drifting apart. In other words, what we may be witnessing is the end of their friendship. 

We are then taken back to Mercy Hall where Emiko (Mainly Emiko) and Wallace are analyzing dirt from Brother Blood’s lair to determine the murderer. Before cutting off to Crush and Roundhouse we are told the murderer intentionally left evidence behind to leave a message to the team. This tells us the suspect is connected to the team. 

 While Crush and Roundhouse take down more Blood Cult safe houses they discover new information about Brother Blood’s plans before dying. 

What we find out:

-> Brother Blood wanted to control the whole city with his toxic chemicals. 

-> First on Brother Blood’s hit list was the Teen Titans. Which isn’t surprising since essentially Brother Blood and Black Mask were in Damian’s prison the longest. Its only natural he would want to get revenge on the Teen Titans so much they were first on his list. 

I guess this also highlights that Damian is actually afraid, if he wasn’t fearful that Brother Blood would kill his former team members then he would’ve let Brother Blood let them have it. I guess...thank you for the little compassion Robbie?

The Teen Titans (Emiko, Wallace, Roundhouse and Crush) then regroup to share what information they’ve found. 

As Crush and Roundhouse reveal their findings Emiko reveals the culprit: Damian (surprise, surprise...not really). 

I have to point this out, but one of the things that annoyed me the most of  this issue was that Roundhouse was somehow surprised that Damian killed Brother Blood. Like out all of the Teen Titans Roundhouse should be the least surprised, I mean he was the who literally wanted to pin the team against Damian a few issues (specifically Issue 35 for those wondering):

So I don’t understand why the heck Roundhouse caught off guard by this revelation. I understand Crush, but Roundhouse? I don’t know if this was intentional or not but it made Roundhouse come off as fake and playing the emotion up in his favor. And this ended up making me hate Roundhouse even more than I already did. 

But as much as hate him, I guess he was really saying the truth in issue 35:

“Robin’s got us all thinking that we’ve ‘solved crime. ’But really we’re all just pawns in his creepy obsession with showing up his old man.” 

Because looking at the all the issues Robbie Thompson has collectively written, that is essentially what it seems like. 

 As the Teen Titans rush to get to Damian we see Damian still in Gotham city stalking his next prey; KG Beast. 

 Before we move on, I want to bring attention something that really disturbs me about these panels: 

“But my path was determined by fate. By blood. By Batman himself.” 

Damian is essentially saying here that he was destined to be a killer since birth, because of his legacies, because of his father. This literally goes against everything Gleason wrote in Robin: Son of Batman. Which literally proved that Damian’s upbringings and legacies don’t define him. They are apart of what he is but don’t make him...well him. 

Honestly its devastating how much this trashes Gleason’s and Tomasi’s development.

Also, I am speculating that, “I know the future,” is referring to when Djinn showed Damian what his dream future held. You know the one he shed tears about because it was so beautiful or something? Yea, that one.

Moving on, as Damian is getting closer to make a move on KG Beast (for what essentially happened several months ago) the rest of the Teen Titan’s gang up on Damian. The fight against Damian begins with Roundhouse throwing the first punch. 

Unsurprisingly, Damian manages to avoid anything the Titans throw at him (I say this because if you don’t remember, the Teen Titans haven’t had a chance to train with Damian except Emiko. Although even Emiko can’t take him down).

And motivated by pure blood-thirst and revenge Damian jumps on KG Beast and immediately starts attacking him in order to prove to the Teen Titans what real justice looks like. After again flawlessly moving past the Teen Titans the issue ends with Damian slicing one of KG Beast’s arms. 

Conclusions: 

-> Wouldn’t be surprised if that bit of dirt that Bruce found in Damian’s room was planted there by Damian intentionally in order to lead Bruce to him. Like why not? If we are shitting on Damian’s development might as will pull all the stops. PS: Surprised Bruce called Damian his son . 

-> I hate Roundhouse, I really do. I need Robbie Thompson to at least do me a favor and make Roundhouse go poof like Djinn.

-> At the beginning of the Issue we are told Damian is “at crossroads” between deciding what path he will take. Toward the end of the issue, Emiko tells Damian he’s “crossed the line.” So I am taking a quick guess and assuming Damian has now made his decision which is essentially becoming an anti-hero.

-> I really hate that Damian is essentially pushing his murder agenda on the Teen Titans. As much as I despise Glass at least he wrote Damian as giving the Teen Titans a chance to work with him or not.  

-> Don’t know if you noticed but most of this issue occurred in Gotham City, in other words: Batman’s city. Damian is really looking stupid by attacking KG Beast in Gotham City where Batman could easily bump into him as he makes the final blow. 

-> I truly hate that Damian is wielding his sword. I saw his sword as a symbol as of a ‘new life’ and ‘redemption’ now it seems like a symbol for his regression.

-> A little confused as to how Damian plans to carry out this plan of “eliminating crime”, like with the help of who? He can’t achieve this on his own. And as skilled as Damian is, he’s  not superhuman-enough  for me to believe it could happen. 

-> I’ve been seeing some people on twitter and tumblr claim that Damian didn’t really admit to murder but I personally took it as he did. I can see their side but I don’t know what to think of it besides, ‘I hope that is what it means and I am reading it wrong.” 

-> Like to mention some theories I’ve seen:

- Damian didn’t really say he killed Bother Blood, so him killing is still not confirmed. 

-This Issue mentions Fear a lot,  it might be connected to the fear toxin.

- Djinn is behind Damian’s odd behavior.

-> Something I want to point out that I did not know if it was intentional or not by the artist:

Damian has this original rounded unity belt at the beginning of the issue: 

And then brands a different rectangle utility belt for the rest of the issue:

I don’t know if this was Damian switching belts in order to not be tracked by Bruce or something else...

Also! Please do not move on just yet! Time to stand on my soap box again!

-> This is something I, @wesavegotham​ and @joejimmyjon​ have been discussing:

If you are buying TT issues you need to stop. Please don’t waste your precious money on this comic (plus *cough cough* there is literally websites for you read them for free. Its a bit of wait, spanning about 7-12 hours to be uploaded but this is a way to avoid giving this comic money). Save up your money for Deceased and Gotham Nights. Put your money where it deserves to be spent. Use your money to show DC the comics what your wiling to spend your money for.  

-> Shout out to my fellow twitter Super Son accounts. Continue voicing your frustrations with DC under their posts (constructively of course). It was brought to my attention that my comment, along with some of my mutuals comments were feature in article. Some of them criticizing the unfair treatment of Damian. 

If you don’t have a twitter account, I suggest you get one and join us in voicing our frustrations. 

Okay, I am done now! If you haven't read Gotham Nights #12-13 and Hope at Worlds End GO READ IT NOW!! 

Also I heard Patrick Gleason uploaded some livestreams on Instagram conveniently while we are mourning Damian’s regression.

Really good stories with Damian to cheer you up. All of them one dollar each on comixology.  

[theepsizet]

Let’s talk about Allison and Tom

There’s been a discussion regarding these two characters: an Alice and her Boris and there’s also been a lot of theories regarding them and/or their identities. So this post is basically me slapping my thoughts on the table. And here it is:

Allison Angel and Tom!Boris are in fact Allison Pendle and Thomas Connor. But you can’t take everything about them presented in BATIM for granted.

This theory first came from this video by MatPat, whose main subject was to discuss Henry and even had good backing reasoning/evidence for his status and what-he-is in-game. He also mentions how Allison and Tom’s names aren’t on coffins and therefore can’t be Allison Pendle and Thomas Connor. If anything, they’re actually soulless; Joey was unable to get their souls.

First problem: MatPat completely glosses over a detail confirmed by Joey in Chapter 5 from this audio log:

“Listen Tommy, I know you boys over at Gent are doing your best, but I'm paying for living attractions, not weird abominations! Whatever that grinning thing was I saw wandering around your office, you better keep it locked up tight! I realize it was a first attempt but imagine if the press caught sight of it! Might scare off investors! And in response to your previous memo: If you claim your failures are because these things are soulless, then, damn it, we'll get them a soul! After all, I own thousands of 'em!”

Did you get that? The reason Ink Bendy is off-model is because he doesn’t possess a soul. If they were soulless, Allison and Tom would look... pretty demonic. But they’re not; they’re on-model, resembling their cartoon counterparts near-perfectly (the biggest difference is, of course, their attire such as Allison’s ponytail and dress and Tom’s robotic arm)

Second problem: He never explains why their names are Allison Angel and Tom. MatPat doesn’t elaborate on this fact and just calls them that and moves on with the video.

So, my take. The game files reveal unused secret messages, and these messages do in fact reveal that Allison and Tom’s names are absent; confirming that they don’t have coffins:

(originally posted by thedreamfisher)

So, they’re alive, right? Well...

In Chapter 4 there’s an audio log labeled “Untitled”. The entire audio log is just somebody gruesomely transforming into an ink monster, most likely a searcher if one goes off of the moaning. According to the game files, its Grant Cohen. Not to mention, in the first BATDR gameplay trailer, look what happens to Audrey’s hand when she uses her power:

(originally posted by thedreamfisher)

When Audrey uses her power, her hand changes. It literally turns into ink. Both these scenarios confirm that killing people and stuffing their souls through a machine isn’t the only way to reincarnate people as living cartoons. My theory is that at some point, Allison Connor exchanged enough letters with Joey that he could convince her and Thomas to return to the studio. Similar to Henry, they became so exposed to the ink that it literally transformed them into perfect toons. They were then reborn from the ink produced by the Giant Machine (we’ll get back to this). The dark truth is that, Allison Angel and Tom!Boris are Joey’s best outcomes from his experiment. Not to mention, Allison says this to Henry:

“I... I honestly don't know my name. So they call me Alice.”

“He [Tom] just seems to respond to it [his name].”

It’s a fact that the ink corrupts the mind. Sammy’s Hot Topic Q&A confirms that his memory deteriorated, and considering that these answers come from when Sammy is The Prophet, it wouldn’t be too unlikely to conclude that the ink did this to him. So, when Allison and Tom were reborn, the ink corrupted their minds so much they basically became amnesiac.

Speaking of reborn, notice what Allison says when talking about the ink in general and why she can’t come with Henry for the final battle:

“...you don't want to touch the ink for too long. It can claim you, pull you back.”

“We can't! We're not like you, Henry. If we go in there, well... a drop of water in the ocean is never seen again.”

It wouldn’t be surprising that they were born out of the bigger ink machine (and we have now officially come back to this). Given its size, the smaller one — the actual one, the one that — wouldn’t be able to produce enough ink to fill entire caverns (the underground levels). It also makes a lot of sense given the context: too much ink would make them unable to fight back, and too little wouldn’t do much effect at all. Both would literally become a drop of water in the ocean if they went with Henry. Not to mention that the first phrase is similar to part of Twisted Alice’s monologue when Henry enters her lair:

“Take this little freak for instance! He crawled in here... trailing his tainted ink to my door! It could have touched me! It could have pulled me back! Do you know what it's like? Living in the dark puddles? It's a buzzing, screaming well of voices! Bits of your mind, swimming like, like fish in a bowl! The first time I was born from its' inky womb, I was a wriggling, pussing, shapeless slug. The second time... well... it made me an angel! I will not let the demon touch me again.”

Now, here’s what I mean when I say you can’t take every word of there’s for granted. The truth is that it’s entirely clear what their motivations and there are several instances where things seem highly suspicious regarding these two:

In Allison and Tom’s hideout, Allison’s graffiti contains a list of levels that are crossed out. If one reviews the cutscene at the beginning of the chapter, it is revelated that throughout Henry’s time as prisoner, the levels are listed and then crossed out, as well as more of her drawings being inscribed onto the walls. It’s almost like they’re looking for something

There’s, weirdly enough, graffiti of the Seeing Tool outside the Administration Lobby. Were they done in that level before? If not, why is it there?

Considering that both of them are pretty experienced around the studio (Allison does know what the Lost Harbor is, and is a professional swordsmaster), Allison doesn’t even use her sword to slice off the boards of the prison cell door. Tom even has an axe and doesn’t do anything.

Tom starts off completely distrustful and treating Henry through spite. He almost immediately becomes part of Henry’s side.

Allison asks Henry to lead the way down the floorless hall. Even after she calls out his name, she doesn’t really grab on top him; she just let’s him fall (although this statement is confusing on its own as Henry falls way to fast for him to look up and see their reactions; its probably not even possible to see their reactions without hacking)

(originally posted on this page and this page of the Bendy wiki)

@thedreamfisher​ suggests that they could be manipulating Henry. and to be honest, yeah... that’s exactly what they’re doing. Why they’re doing it, though, is difficult to pin down, but my theory — yes, that is the theory part — is maybe because of one obvious fact: Henry isn’t like them at all. Allison even says this is why she and Tom can’t really trust them, and Twisted Alice confirms he’s “so interesting... so different...”. Compare this to the way Allison talks to Audrey in the BATDR trailers (this and this). She’s a lot more open, honest, more like a mentor and willing to tell her a lot more than she would to Henry, possibly because she resembles that of a lost one (why Henry’s avatar is completely invisible when hacking and what is a subject to debate for another time).

Allison knows Henry is different and may be manipulating Henry because she wants to turn off the machine. Tom too. Why do you think she calls him “the hope [she’s] been waiting for” and tells him that he “[can] set [them] free”. But, here’s the catch: this doesn’t make them bad. There’s been a number of theories that they’re bad people, but this manipulation only shows they have good intentions; if anything, they’re more of the most basic, generic definition of antihero.

And this makes even more sense when the conversation between Buddy Lewek, Allison Pendle, and Thomas Connor is reviewed in Chapter. It’s a lot of dialogue, and I’m not going to copy and paste the entire thing, but the most important anecdotes is that they hint to have more knowledge of the machine and its functions than the average employee. They also imply two things: they seem to be aware of Susie’s fate (most likely what happened after Joey gave her an offer hinted in audio logs in Chapter 4 and 5) and that they can’t stop Joey at all. It’s hinted by Allison that she and Tom both needed the job, and that they committed to his decisions because of the pay. Tom mentions how Joey treated him well, and Joey claims from a memo to clipped in the Joey Drew Studios Employee Handbook that he’s fascinated by Allison and her personality.

So... yeah. That’s it. Feel free to comment.

(One-finale note: The idea/credit of Allison and Tom being born out of the bigger ink machine and the manipulation aspect all goes to thedreamfisher. Do not give me credit for this idea) 

[popculturebuffet]

Donald Duck: Christmas on Bear Mountain Review!

Happy Birthday Uncle Scrooge! Yes it was 73 years ago that everyone’s favorite stingy adventurous billionaire entered this world. And I only NARROWLY missed it as I only found out this was coming up when looking up various character birthdays during the writing of my review of “The Three Cablleros”. I now have a word document with all the various important duck characters birthdays so this doesn’t happen again, but i’m glad I did my homework as I can celebrate one of my faviorite character’s birthdays.  And Scrooge is one of my favorites. While I relate to donald’s everyman slacker spendthrift was a tad more, I still love this old bastard. He’s badass, quick witted, and earned every bit of his fortune square outside of one moment of weakness. But he has his flaws: He’s horribly cheap, quick to anger, and very dismissive and distrustful of people for good reasons and bad. He’s a complicated, interesting character and one that still works today in the reboot.. if with some slight tweaks to make him less of a greedy monster by modern standards. He’s one of my favorite comic book characters, and one of Disney’s finest, so it only felt right to honor him by going back to his roots with his very first appearance and a story that like him is 73 years old today. It’s also one I had never read until today’s review. So does this storied tale still hold up? How diffrent was Scrooge? and are there any actual bears in the story? Well come along with me as we take a trip up to Bear Mountain and find out.  This story, if you didn’t know, is by Disney Legend and Scrooge Creator Carl Barks, easily the most influential and well known duck artist.. felt like it was worth mentioning since without Carl none of this would be possible and as usual his art is gorgeous and unique to him. On with the show. 

We open with Donald and the Boys depressed, as Christmas looks to be pretty drab. While the boys are sad they don’t have a winter Cabin like everyone else...

Donald is even more bummed he can’t afford dinner or presents as he mentions this to the boys, being flat broke. It’s also a nice character beat that Donald, despite his usual hedonism.. would be just fine, with his depression coming from the fact he can’t even give his boys a proper Christmas let alone presents. It’s a stark adult fear and something that really hits as I find the money to buy Christmas presents for all my friends and family during my current unemployment, though commissions, have been helping. 

But yes i’m doing my first Christmas review before thanksgiving’s even come in. But given the serendipity of Scrooge’s birthday and the fact I wanted to read it at some point before covering the last chapter of life and times anyway, since said story takes place DURING this one. I’ll explain how in a moment. Plus frankly with me already having to do my christmas shopping while I have money, I still feel the spirit of the holiday, so I honestly figure why not. 

But all that aside, the Nephews muse things might be better if their rich Uncle Scrooge would remember them, but probably not. We’ll meet scrooge, if you care to continue, after the cut. 

We then cut to Scrooge’s mansion. Two things to note. The first is that he has a mansion here. Now for us Ducktales fans, it’s not unusual, he lives in one in both series. But being even MORE frugal in the comics meant after this he mostly lived in the money bin to save .. well money. So he dosen’t have the mansion after this and Don Rosa explained it, as he did really most aspects of scrooge’s life, in life and times, having him decide to sell the place after also deciding to reopen the bin. Just a neat fun fact. The other fun fact is that his angry pose and expersion here were later homage in “Last Crash of the Sunchaser!”, in one of Ducktales 2017′s easily most heart pulling moments: the ending of the episode showing Scrooge truly alone once again. It’s also a nice refrence to Life and Times as at this point scrooge was just as miserable and alone according to Rosa’s masterwork, with the boys and Donald coming into his life being the thing that revitalized him. So let’s get on that shall we?  Scrooge is wallowing in his misery, having never had any fun according to himself and thinking maybe giving a present could be fun.. and decides on his Nephew as the one to give it to. But in typical Scrooge fashion instead of just giving his Grandson a gift, he’s going to have to earn it. He sends a letter to the Boys and Donald offering up his cabin, fully stocked with goodies and presents. A bit pricey for who Scrooge would become, and a bit odd to see him not complain.. but it still sets up his character as someone who wants people to WORK for what they get, but can genuinely get behind someone who shows good character, in this case he’s hoping, but Doubting, Donald will end up showing himself to be brave. And it’s STILL more plausible he’d buy luxury items to prove a point to himself, than it was in that one Ducktales comic I reviewed where he spent presumably millions to teach a ten year old a lesson about getting everything you want. Which yes really happened. 

Still not over that one, what the actual hell, let’s move on. Basically if Donald passes the test, he’ll get a real true present and if he doesn’t, well Scrooge will have fun anyway. It is easy to see the difference in character here: While parts that would later become bedrock, his code of honor and his wanting people to EARN things instead of just having them handed to them, as well as him sometimes being a huge dick about that are there, he comes off more as a golden age villain cackling in his lair than the awesome but flawed adventurer we’d all come to know and love. I mean while he’d be no less kind to the Boys and Donald about their poverty later, this time he’s especailly bad tempting them with a nice christmas they couldn’t afford and planning to scare the bejeezus out of them. But I do like seeeing where Scrooge came from, STARTING as a decrepit old bastard and transitioning into the adventurous old bastard we all know and love. I have come to realize I do have a soft spot for characters earlier appearances, seeing what changed, what was there all along, and what was tweaked. It can be a mixed bag: with Marvel for instance sometimes you get Spider-Man, who was starkly anti-social and on the verge of understandably lashing out at the world a LOT in the first few issues, and prone to issues you wouldn’t see in a superhero comic back then. Hulk started out much smarter, greyer and meaner, eventually leading to the Joe Fixit persona being created as a result of this decades later. 

On the other hand some examples are less enjoyable like Sue and Reed Richards, who back at the start were a sexist “panicky female” stereotype and a sexist mentally distant jackass, while Hank Pym and Wasp were again, a sexist mentally distant jackass, and another stereotype this time thinking almost entirely about fashion and boys. All four would go on to be MUCH better characters with age, with the occasional slip up. I bring this up because Scrooge... is still a good character even here. While he’d become even BETTER, he’s not bad at all here, just a bit different is all. 

Back at the plot Scrooge reveals his plan by scaring the shit out of his butler: To dress up as a bear, head up the mountain and scare his nephews to see if any of them have any bravery. While Donald whimpers over the thought of bears and we get an okay gag of him thinking a squireel was one, Scrooge is forced to turn around due to the weather and gives a villain monologue about never having given anyone nothing in his entire life. I swear to god he’s basically Mr. Burns in this one. 

Then again I would also FULLY expect Scrooge to do this to Donald in the barks stories, just maybe not have it be lethal. MAYBE. 

While Scrooge harumphs over his bad luck the boys and Donald enjoy a wonderful sleep. Despite Donald’s fear of bears, which the boys insist are hibernating, accurate, the boys force him to go out and get a Christmas tree by the age old tradition of whining until he does so. After going out back to find a tree to chop down Donald finds dead, ugly looking tree that’s weirdly heavy. To no one’s suprise, and to Donald’s natural luck, there’s a baby bear inside and as Donald gets a nice Christmas eve dinner ready for the boys, though after hearing some rustling he assumes a bear is present.. which it is. A baby bear. Awww. The little guy toddles around, and we get af ew pages of antics, with the boys chasing the bear, donald being a coward, and the bear getting into things and ending up on a rollerskate, which is referenced in life and times. However while the boys eventually find the baby.. it’s MOTHER, angry it’s cub is missing finds them and once Donald finds her, the four naturally hightale it out of there. The bears then eat all their food.. though the boys assume “there goes our presents”. Uh guys.. the presents aren’t gone you just don’t have them right this second. They aren’t showed destroying them or anything just leaning on them slightly. I mean the well stocked pantry and any candy in the presents are toast but there’s still a pretty sweet saxaphone there. Take a look. 

See the most their doing is likely wrinkling some clothes, at worst flattening that skateboard.. or whatever that  Mama Bear is sitting on. I mean I get in the larger sense they can’t get them because bears, but still. Once they pass out the boys send in Donald to get ripped apart by a bear.. er to tie up Mama Bear so they can get the house back, rightly pointing out that they’ll freeze to death anyways.. even though they you know have a car and could just leave. Then again knowing Donald’s luck i’td probably jsut lead to this. 

The boys aren’t slacking though and are going after the cub while Donald passes out in fear next to the bear. Scrooge arrives, but is spooked by the cub and is proud to see his young nephews valiantly chase the bebe, and is impressed by Donald’s seeming bravery, decides, after fleeing in terror which is funny. Not in line with what he’d become but STILL really funny. But anyways he decides to throw them a proper christmas as a reward.  So the next day and, thanks to Don Rosa one part of life and times later, we end on Christmas Day as for the first time in decades, Scrooge basks in the warm glow of family, and is happy probably for the first time in years. He gifts Donald a bear skin, he faints, haw haw haw the end. 

FINAL THOUGHTS: This story holds up extrodinarly well. While some aspects like Scrooge being generous or cowardly don’t jibe with his later character, it’s forgivable since, again, first appearance, and it’s an entertaining story. Granted his plan hasn’t aged well, but it’s still a fun Christmas set story with some good gags and an entertaining villian. While not Scrooge or Donald or Barks finest hour, it’s still a good bit of hollday fun that gave us one of the best characters of all time. And for that, ill be forever greatful.  If you liked this review, you can comission one of your own via my ask box, direct message or discord (technicolormuk#6550), if your more comfortable not doing buisness on here. UPCOMING REVIEWS TO KEEP AN EYE ON THIS SPACE FOR Loud House Coverage: Band Together/ The Other One Ducktales: The First Adventure! Ride of the Three Cablleros: The Three Cablleros Ride Again! 

Until then you can check my backlog on my various pages and remember, there’s always another rainbow.